#where the fuck are you santa
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the shelbys always have the most relaxing holiday get-togethers :)
#where the fuck are you santa#poor ada always right in the middle of things 😭#peaky blinders#ada shelby#ada thorne#tommy shelby#arthur shelby#esme lee#lizzie stark#lizzie shelby#polly gray#michael gray#john shelby#linda shelby#mine
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#swan comics#a swan in a santa hat#🦢#I thought about posting this in response to someone#but that would be a bit too much I think#no harm done#least said soonest mended#but this is a conversation I have in my home as well so#perhaps we need a visual shorthand#where the FUCK is my CUP#this is the response to a) kids not putting their socks on but coming downstairs dressed as crocodiles#b) spouse mishearing something but gallantly giving an opinion on it that was so in depth I didn’t have the heart to interrupt#and c) someone explaining to me about the discworld reading order#on a post about the saddening lack of risk-taking and support for creators in the content-gatekeeping industry#none of those are crimes not even the socks#I can strongly understand the Considerations that beset and bedazzle you when you go to put socks on and how the best response is to put on#a fuzzy crocodile onesie#but it’s not what I asked.#like this is a good response to a different thing#please recall the input here - the assignment if you will - was about socks. I love what you’ve done here though#good contribution. you know what we’re keeping it. love it.#just don’t present it as if the original incident report can be marked closed now okay?#do not close the support ticket#the support ticket remains unanswered.#no I completely agree. the outfit DOES need green face paint too. a topic we can add to the queue when oddly enough you have socks on
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Tfw your [REDACTED] starts dating the guy who tried to rob you (context)
#sans looks away for 5 seconds and suddenly Gaster is nerd flirting with some interdimensional traveller#one who literally just tried to rob them no less#RoyalAuthor#gaster x ford#Gravity Falls#Undertale#fan art#fanart#crossover#Stanford Pines#Ford Pines#Grunkle ford#sans#sans undertale#meme#its always sunny in Philadelphia - did you fuck my mom santa claus?#artists on tumblr#my art#The blacked out text is a reference to papyrus' concept art where it says he has a brother named sans and a [redacted] named [redacted]#To clarify. As I belatedly realise it could read differently without knowing that lmao
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It's that time of year again so here are xmas harbingers edits by yours truly
bonus:
#unfortunately signora passed away last xmas bc of her recklessness with the fireworks :'((((( rest in peaces queen <3#scara was blamed for it so he is not on this party either :(#pierro looks so upset bc he knows once this is over he will be the one to clean zapolyarny palace up#maybe arle and cap will help if they're sober enough#also bc someone used party popper near him and now there is confetti in his food#pantalone looks like someone who will wear tinsel around their neck like let's be real#cap loves string lights trust me bro i'm his armor#removing pulchinella's hat and editing sandrone's robot was... fun#i don't like the one w/ arle bc unlike others it's close-up of her face#it ruins aesthetic!!#however face that arle makes is so me#feel free to use#tho i have no idea where the fuck you would use robot santa#this is my magnum opus i won't be able to create anything better than this#genshin impact#fatui harbingers#fatui#pierro#capitano#dottore#columbina#arlecchino#pulchinella#sandrone#pantalone#tartaglia#ch - shitpost
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i genuinely do not care if the time jump between season 7 finale and season 8 premiere is like 6 months or a year or ten years or that bucktommy will have been dating for centuries in 8x04 or whatever. i dont care about in-show time, i care about the time i had them on screen and i will be pissed af if they move in together that early
#seems like im very much not on the same page i.e. where we left bucktommy in their relationship#time matters so little what matters is where i think bucktommy were at the end of 710 and that wasnt moving in together in three eps dynami#even 7x10 date - while not as official as 7x05 date - was two men still in the thrill of dating period where every word they say is still#flirty and a casual dinner still comes with wine and romantic music#and if the shift from that to “we basically live together” happens off screen i will be pissed as fuck#i think when ppl say buck has new relationship glow in his s8 appearance they mean “he has a /life/ partner he goes home to” whereas i mean#“he has a boyfriend who picks him up right after his shift for an exciting date flight to santa barbara”#they have their google calendars synced vs still texting each other whens your next rest day i have a surprise for you#im okay being the only person to think this but i'll still be pissed off whatever morning rant#mimi.txt#bucktommy
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As the Christmas crawls towards us, what ridiculous, slightly horrifying holiday tradition do you think the Hales have?
I fully believe that Peter locks himself in the kitchen and just transforms into Sandra Lee (just doing vodka shots while baking), while Talia drives around the neighborhood to scope out everyone else's decorations so they can one-up them next year.
talia and peter are the most unhinged, competitive, gayle waters-waters, unholy abominations of the christmas spirit to unleash on beacon hills.
i refuse to believe otherwise. holidays are totally their thing and they are insane about it.
peter "two shots of vodka" hale makes gingerbread houses and eggnog.
talia plans the christmas card all year. she books a photographer months in advance because sears is for the poors.
peter will sabotage someone's christmas lights so only half of them work and he will watch from his car as the homeowner tries to figure out what happened.
peter has also popped more than one blow-up lawn decoration out of spite.
talia once stole someone's baby jesus after her sugar cookies were insulted at the holiday bake sale.
peter and talia draw up a seating chart and they have included both star signs and myers-briggs to justify it.
talia is that mom that personally gave her kid's teachers presents each year and peter brought his to die for cupcakes for class parties.
these two would rent a santa, create a winter wonderland on their property and let the neighborhood kids take pictures and give little goody bags.
they also did little things like popcorn strings for the tree and decorate it together.
talia kept every ornament the kids made in school and put them on the tree every year.
lastly derek got his own special birthday party so he didn't feel like he had to share with christmas. i feel like this was very important for talia to implement.
#my blog#thoughts on teen wolf#they would be so fucking extra#the hale family feels#growing up we had a house in the neighborhood that would do pictures with santa#they had a 'winter wonderland' type thing where you would pay like a dollar and they'd buy toys with the proceeds to donate for kids
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"Oh ho ho...You're one of my brother's goons sent here to sabotage my plans!"
The minion of the Heat Miser stood in place, limbs trembling not only from the chilled, crispy air of the Snow Miser's lair, but in sheer terror of what might happen now that they were spotted. As the towering icy man took slow steps forward, his potential victim shivered with hitched breath and began to lift a foot, preparing to dash away.
Mr. Snow notices this, and his right hand rises from his side, his fingers emitting small icy particles as his scepter begins to shape itself out of thin air.
"Stand your ground, ashrat." He states firmly from his wide crack of a grin, eyelids lowered while glaring, "Or I will see to it that your feet never leave that spot again."
What happened next took place in an instant. The terrified spy turns to run, only for them to nearly fall forward as their feet suddenly freeze to the ice floor. The cold mister had grasped and aimed his scepter forward as fast as lightning to shoot beams of ice at their feet. The ice burned almost as hot as their Lord's breath, ironically. Their feet then became numb incredibly quickly, quicker than they would have in normal snow.
Snow and ice summoned directly from the Lord of the Cold was far worse than anything that had naturally accumulated. It felt as if it was already too late to try and salvage their feet at all. To make matters worse, the Snow Miser now approached the stuck prey, his scepter still tight in his grasp. He kept that sickly grin as he stared his catch down.
"My, you dare to try and test me? I suppose it makes sense that you'd have no brain. That fiery fool never had sense, so why would his lackeys?" He closes his eyes and shakes his head with a "tsk tsk" from his tongue.
The minion of heat could now only whimper quietly, glancing back and forth between the Snow Miser and the direction they came sneaking in from. It was too late now. They doubted they were going to make it out.
A gloved hand suddenly shot forth and gripped their throat. The glove did nothing to contain the sheer cold that came from that hand. They couldn't breathe, but they could hear. They could hear that sometimes kooky voice now deepened, cold, rumbling in the mister's throat. He spoke under his breath, which came out in freezing puffs against the captive's face. They turned their head to face their captor. They both locked eyes.
"My brother and I do have one thing in common, I suppose..."
Ice began to overtake the flesh of the minion's neck. Veins and arteries instantly became sealed shut. Their inner throat pipes were already rendered useless. That voice was now in their ear.
"I don't mind sometimes seeing some white turn red."
All went black for the unlucky idiot. Their head had become encased in an icy prison, and with a hard CRACK, their head had snapped off of their frozen neck and fell to the floor, shattering into pieces. Blood seeped from various slits in the ice shards, staining the ice sheet below.
How convenient, some takeout delivered for Snowy's various creatures of ice to feed upon!
#EVIL SNOW MISER MY BELOVED#ashrat is a temporary name for anyone that obeys heat miser#opposites may be called...snowfleas or something idk yet#had to get this out of my system before bed idk where the FUCK it came from#guess the movies served a purpose other than entertainment: INSPIRATION!#a year without a santa claus#a miser brothers christmas snow miser can also work here ofc#snow miser#evil twist#writing#lets hope YOU werent the unlucky minion of heat miser here#my writing#oneshot#tw blood#tw character death#tw decapitation#rankin bass
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fav hobby: saying things that make people go
and then going
in response
#marzi speaks#i love saying bizarre or outlandish or straight up freaky sentences#and i love getting reactions outta ppl it’s my bugs bunny instinct#fav thing in the world is when i say smth and everyone who heard it slow turns at me. and i go ‘:3 haiiii’#i once managed to disturb a spencer’s manager. which i consider to be quite an achievement#(i was there with a couple friends around christmastime. we saw a magnet of santa and mrs claus fucking bc. spencer’s)#(one of my friends made some sort of joke and then i went ‘where do you think they got the elves?’)#(turn around to see that employee balking at us. my friend goes ‘congrats mars you freaked out a spencer’s employee’)#(and they corrected: ‘you freaked out a spencer’s MANAGER’ and i felt soooo proud of myself)
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just saw the feh banner and lmfao… yunaka you poor girl… where are your friends… who are these stuffy fodlan people… singlehandedly saved us from purely fodlan christmas give it up for her
#ann cries about feh#im not even mad about it tho tbh i was gonna skip anyways#cuz. well. you all saw the last banner. my orbs are gone#but at this point its j kinda funny. hi edie. hi dima. hi claude.#three houses is their cash cow i just expect it at this point#fates and awakening got this same treatment way back when so i am not allowed to complain. got my 15 seconds of fame in 2017 im good#what i DONT like tho is that they keep using the fucking academy versions 😭 where is claudes facial hair… give it baaack…#rip tho i +10’d winter felix… if i knew claude was coming as the free one i never wouldve… no offense fefe ily but… clauude 🥺#whatever maybe next year theyll finally let 3h christmas rest. engage christmas? so yunaka isnt alone 😭#santa diamant would be funny i think
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My mother continues to be the most fascinating human in the media-watching world. She loves a genre show. She hates all the elements that make it a genre show. She wants endless recommendations. She’ll ignore the recommendations in favor of rewatching old faves. She binges an entire multi-season show in two days. She can’t tell me if she actually liked the show she just inhaled in record time. She is a television superhero, and I cannot clock her to save my life.
#me: so you started Santa Clarita?#her: finished it#me: …did…you like..it?#her: it was very weird#(she watched it in the blink of an eye and literally all she said was to text me ‘eat the foot. eat the foot. eat the goddamn foot!’#she’ll binge grey’s while sassing everything about the hospital. she watched all of supernatural while chastising its fight scenes.#me: but like. that’s really how buffy was. and charmed. and so many shows you love#her: yeah and it was stupid then too!#girl! what? what is happening?? she’s so funny#I’m about to move back in with the parents while they FINALLY fix my house#and I’m once again ready to be deeply entertained by this in real time#I do have to point out this is the woman who watched bly. paused it. WHILE JAMIE WAS IN THE LAKE. so she could make a sandwich#a sibling just sent a pic of the TV where AE is acting her heart out mid-swim#‘mom decided she was hungry at this exact moment.’#baffling. a baffling woman. and yet half my love of stories very blatantly comes from her. it is so fucking funny
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maybe someone already did it but
#Michael core#Trevor core#pinterest#michael de santa#trevor philips#gta 5#gta v#lol that's kinda accurate#fuck shit and other such expletives#where's my goddamn money?#PROTECT TRANS KIDS#you sad fuck#he was given a name that doesn't feel like it's his#vilken är din ADHD-typ?#black market antidepressants 4 sale#this user a real motherfucker here#true idiot child#he gets mean when he's nervous like a bad dog#in the end they always tell him he was too much#nihilist in the streets
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anyway dc x dp is my new fixation hell and i've had so many ideas for aus but one that's really sticking with me is a classic "danny has to run away to gotham because his home is no longer safe" au where danny is explicitly looking for other ghosts or at the very least is pulled to gotham because there are so many of them there.
he flies around for a while and finds this manor and he can sense so many nice ghosts! so he just. goes there! and stays! and this can be human danny showing up at their door injured or it can be ghost danny just flying in but regardless, the waynes would never turn him away. bruce would get suspicious absolutely, but he's seen enough traumatized abused kids to know the signs. thomas and martha? they think this new ghost kid is adorable!!
there could be angst sure but idk i love the idea of danny getting hurt by his parents or the giw and being so wary of more humans, and this place full of friendly ghosts would be so enticing. ghosts that don't try to immediately wreck his shit? ghosts that get territorial but are also extremely welcoming and have a habit of letting new kids into their haunt? the batfam who've dealt with the paranormal before and wouldn't give a shit? that's a normal tuesday for them babes. like please, danny just found heaven and it's in gotham.
despite all the "batfam adopts danny" aus i've seen, i rarely see people mention the ghosts of dead family members who would absolutely still be there and would definitely want to help danny :(
#anyway unrelated but as much as i love the concept of the batpham i do hate how all of it is soo ooc for the bats#like bruce may think danny is a meta at first but he wouldn't discount ghosts or Not believe him#and cmon the whole 'this bat doesn't even believe in ghosts' like babes santa clause is real in the dcu#ghosts is normal actually#and usually it doesnt bother me that much like i get that most people arent here for the bats#but i do really hate seeing hurt danny aus where the bats are just so... callous and uncaring about danny#like i get that its for the angst but like. the blorbos would Not say that ajkdhg#like they are The Protectors of Gotham and you seriously think theyd ever act uncaring or rude to an injured kid?#i feel like people forget that that batkids fighting each other has everything to do with family sibling issues#and specifically not wanting said siblings to be their siblings#and not like. them just being assholes to random strangers#like i get them maybe being rude if its an adoption au or secretly related au but even then#danny is also very nice and likeable and he's not gonna fight for their roles or try to insert himself in their dynamics#he's like the best random kid bruce Could pick up#anyway very unrelated to the post im just feeling some kind of way :(#i love the bats and i wish the fandom cared about them more :(#ANYWAY i love this little idea im specifically thinking alfred would be the first to figure it out#he just does man. he just Knows that someone else has been added to the family#i think itd be fucking hilarious if a new random tombstone got added to the family grave#bruce visits and he's mourning his parents and then he just sees daniel fenton and he's like who the fuck#'do i have amnesia?? concussion?? dementia????? who the fuck is this ancestor???????'#danny is eating alfred's cookies in the background and sweat laughing#danny: do i tell him or nah?#alfred: if you don't you'll get to see master bruce's detective skills in action 👨🏼🦳#.txt
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it's ga/ders creation but ga/der lead wrote da2 and feynriel is very visibly elven, textually excluded by humans, it's really just to make alistair "reveal" stick and it's not even necessary!!!!
From what I’ve understood feynriel was just a design oversight on bioware’s part. I do dig it though. unless they’re gonna add some sort of lore explanation in future releases like datv, and they commit to what phenotypes are so uniquely elven (almost every game this changes. in datv it seeeems ? they’re going back to just humans with pointy ears) ill keep believing it’s more an axiom than a rule. i DO like the recessivity thing and all it brings, I can’t say it’s unnecessary so-to-speak (i think it was important that fiona understood alistair was going to appear human and therefore trusted maric to take care of him under that benefit, from which fiona herself never could. epic fail.). I just believe in addition there’s slim capacity for variance and unpredictability.
The half-elf plot twist isn’t really hitting it any more. and im not interested in another michel de chevin.
#da chalking it up to Magic usually works… but in this case my multiethnic brain is imploding#even within one race there’s diversity.#wdym it’s just a human end of. where’d the elf go. on a walk? past the mountain where all our grandparents apparently went to go to school?#did you fuck yourself santa claus?#that’s all to say magic did have a hand (lol) in making my trevelyan visibly elven#ask
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oh google maps we're really in it now
#not even winter yet and im looking up my hotel from my california vacation and where id walk from it#i miss it. it was always 80+ degrees and hell on earth trying to cross the street but i miss it#seeing google maps of the area is like oh you mean this wasnt a dream i had. it was real???????#i wish i could relive it all again of course for the fun of it all#but also so i could make the smart decision of not wearing the sandals that cut into my heels :(#that was literally hours before the concert btw lmao but i put on socks and the cdg shoes and said it fuck it we're dancing anyway#its a long time until my next vacation . oh well#im sorry im making this out to be so much lmao but as someone who works full time and does nothing vacations mean a lot. to me#anyway. dreaming of micelis pasta and santa monica pier burger. and everything else#everything except those awful fucking sandals
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This is completely brought on by the last post but it really bugs me when people are so insistent that a story needs Monsters or Extra Terrestrial Beings to be scary.
The two examples used were Infinite Ikea and the Backrooms but like. At very least to me the addition of monsters just makes the story go from really good to fucking boring so quickly.
The horror is being stuck in an overly familiar place that you would expect to have an exit and being unable to find one. It's being seemingly infinitely lost in a place you would normally be able to traverse with no issues. It's like... weaponizing the familiarity of places you know and making what was once thought to be safe, possibly dangerous.
You put a monster in it and you just turn that whole idea into just "What if you were in the Minotaurs labyrinth would that be fucked up or what"
#unnecessary hill to die on#yadda yadda yadda#i think when a monster in a setting like this works vs doesnt work is when it ADDS to the mystery versus possibly provides an explanation#like the type of backrooms monster that doesnt work is one thats visible. at all really#like idk if it was a part of the original post or i saw elsewhere but a concept i saw for a backrooms monster i liked was#one where you only heard whatever monster it was chasing/stalking you. you did not sed it you dont know what it is. but you know to run#because it ADDS questions! 'what the fuck is that' 'where am i' 'why is it here' 'why am *I* here' - fantastic! unsettling! uneasy!#monster is [killer office worker/killer hotel staff/aliens] - oh its [haunted office/haunted hotel/some alien experiment or something]#<- while not DIRECTLY giving an answer as to why you could make up reasons to explain it. which makes it known which isnt as scary#but like. the questions have to kinda coherent to? like 'killer santa in infinite ikea' just sounds ridiculous. youre just thinking 'huh??'#i think if you wanted to make the employee monsters in infinite ikea more interesting theyd work better if they seemed normal until night#bc having them always be monsterous kind of immediately sets the tone to horror instead of a buid up?#like you go into the establishment. see this Too Tall guy with no face and go ''welp. im fucked''#instead of the build up of what you thought was normal to be not normal#im getting tired thinking too much imma quit now
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hey can you make a story about rise of the guardians gt sandy soft-vore x tiny reader
i have every rise of the guardians tag/mention blacklisted on this site
(:
#i suspect this anon is messaging a lot of people this feels like a generic ask#but whatever#if yall are curious#and here comes a tag rant!!!#i will never watch that movie ever#i dont care for movies where christianity is the one true religion#you know#with me being jewish#christian supremacy movies aint my thing#and if you are like 'what?'#the guardians INCLUDE SANTA AND THE EASTER BUNNY#meaning christmas and easter are foundational to the world and christianity is the one true religion#its just not something i care for#its mostly harmless of course but the movie is distinctly marketed to not be appealing#to me#someone whose people have been massacred on christmas and easter for not believing in jesus#i do have a soft spot for the santa clause bc that series is#so fucking stupid#and involves murdering santa to replace him#thats insane#but i also thought it was hilarious#that the rise of the guardians#had the same group as the santa clause movies XD
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