#where the fuck are you santa

[graythursday]

the shelbys always have the most relaxing holiday get-togethers :)

[paintedcrows]

Tfw your [REDACTED] starts dating the guy who tried to rob you (context)

[elodieunderglass]

[triglycercule]

HORRORTALE BOOK TWO GUYS HORRORTALE BOOK TWO JUST IN TIME FOR THE HOLIDAYS THIS IS A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE

[cosmichawk]

It's that time of year again so here are xmas harbingers edits by yours truly

bonus:

[epiphainie]

i genuinely do not care if the time jump between season 7 finale and season 8 premiere is like 6 months or a year or ten years or that bucktommy will have been dating for centuries in 8x04 or whatever. i dont care about in-show time, i care about the time i had them on screen and i will be pissed af if they move in together that early

[buckybarnesss]

As the Christmas crawls towards us, what ridiculous, slightly horrifying holiday tradition do you think the Hales have?

I fully believe that Peter locks himself in the kitchen and just transforms into Sandra Lee (just doing vodka shots while baking), while Talia drives around the neighborhood to scope out everyone else's decorations so they can one-up them next year.

talia and peter are the most unhinged, competitive, gayle waters-waters, unholy abominations of the christmas spirit to unleash on beacon hills.

i refuse to believe otherwise. holidays are totally their thing and they are insane about it.

peter "two shots of vodka" hale makes gingerbread houses and eggnog.

talia plans the christmas card all year. she books a photographer months in advance because sears is for the poors.

peter will sabotage someone's christmas lights so only half of them work and he will watch from his car as the homeowner tries to figure out what happened.

peter has also popped more than one blow-up lawn decoration out of spite.

talia once stole someone's baby jesus after her sugar cookies were insulted at the holiday bake sale.

peter and talia draw up a seating chart and they have included both star signs and myers-briggs to justify it.

talia is that mom that personally gave her kid's teachers presents each year and peter brought his to die for cupcakes for class parties.

these two would rent a santa, create a winter wonderland on their property and let the neighborhood kids take pictures and give little goody bags.

they also did little things like popcorn strings for the tree and decorate it together.

talia kept every ornament the kids made in school and put them on the tree every year.

lastly derek got his own special birthday party so he didn't feel like he had to share with christmas. i feel like this was very important for talia to implement.

[katkalis-the-fanartist]

"Oh ho ho...You're one of my brother's goons sent here to sabotage my plans!"

The minion of the Heat Miser stood in place, limbs trembling not only from the chilled, crispy air of the Snow Miser's lair, but in sheer terror of what might happen now that they were spotted. As the towering icy man took slow steps forward, his potential victim shivered with hitched breath and began to lift a foot, preparing to dash away.

Mr. Snow notices this, and his right hand rises from his side, his fingers emitting small icy particles as his scepter begins to shape itself out of thin air.

"Stand your ground, ashrat." He states firmly from his wide crack of a grin, eyelids lowered while glaring, "Or I will see to it that your feet never leave that spot again."

What happened next took place in an instant. The terrified spy turns to run, only for them to nearly fall forward as their feet suddenly freeze to the ice floor. The cold mister had grasped and aimed his scepter forward as fast as lightning to shoot beams of ice at their feet. The ice burned almost as hot as their Lord's breath, ironically. Their feet then became numb incredibly quickly, quicker than they would have in normal snow.

Snow and ice summoned directly from the Lord of the Cold was far worse than anything that had naturally accumulated. It felt as if it was already too late to try and salvage their feet at all. To make matters worse, the Snow Miser now approached the stuck prey, his scepter still tight in his grasp. He kept that sickly grin as he stared his catch down.

"My, you dare to try and test me? I suppose it makes sense that you'd have no brain. That fiery fool never had sense, so why would his lackeys?" He closes his eyes and shakes his head with a "tsk tsk" from his tongue.

The minion of heat could now only whimper quietly, glancing back and forth between the Snow Miser and the direction they came sneaking in from. It was too late now. They doubted they were going to make it out.

A gloved hand suddenly shot forth and gripped their throat. The glove did nothing to contain the sheer cold that came from that hand. They couldn't breathe, but they could hear. They could hear that sometimes kooky voice now deepened, cold, rumbling in the mister's throat. He spoke under his breath, which came out in freezing puffs against the captive's face. They turned their head to face their captor. They both locked eyes.

"My brother and I do have one thing in common, I suppose..."

Ice began to overtake the flesh of the minion's neck. Veins and arteries instantly became sealed shut. Their inner throat pipes were already rendered useless. That voice was now in their ear.

"I don't mind sometimes seeing some white turn red."

All went black for the unlucky idiot. Their head had become encased in an icy prison, and with a hard CRACK, their head had snapped off of their frozen neck and fell to the floor, shattering into pieces. Blood seeped from various slits in the ice shards, staining the ice sheet below.

How convenient, some takeout delivered for Snowy's various creatures of ice to feed upon!

[mars-ipan]

fav hobby: saying things that make people go

and then going

in response

[song-tam]

so. roshan. about those secret santa pairings that would go out "THSI WEEKEND THOUGH. trust"

PLEASE IM TRYING i got more done today i think atp everyone has been assigned either a secret santa or the person they will give a gift to i just have to like. do the other half. yeah

[boxwinebaddie]

*jk vc* wE AHYR sO CRIMSAHN BAHCK awHN bABEY!!! ;) <3 xX

[sieglinde-freud]

just saw the feh banner and lmfao… yunaka you poor girl… where are your friends… who are these stuffy fodlan people… singlehandedly saved us from purely fodlan christmas give it up for her

[novelconcepts]

My mother continues to be the most fascinating human in the media-watching world. She loves a genre show. She hates all the elements that make it a genre show. She wants endless recommendations. She’ll ignore the recommendations in favor of rewatching old faves. She binges an entire multi-season show in two days. She can’t tell me if she actually liked the show she just inhaled in record time. She is a television superhero, and I cannot clock her to save my life.

[whosyourcreepyunclenow]

maybe someone already did it but

[vore-scientist]

hey can you make a story about rise of the guardians gt sandy soft-vore x tiny reader

i have every rise of the guardians tag/mention blacklisted on this site

(:

[fanofcarson]

WE DONT FUCKING NEED THIS!!!!!!!!