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enneamage · 2 years ago

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if this is too off topic for your blog feel free to delete - but it’s been on my mind lately contemplating why more dsmp fans don’t watch ludwig. hear me out. i feel like he’s such a great transitional link to get these people who got initially joined twitch/interested in watching streamers because of dsmp to explore outside of the minecraft bubble. he has been for me, at least. i feel like he’s such a natural entertainer with innovative content (chess boxing, subathon, mogul mail, live mogul money, etc.) but most of all it feels very digestible. the only dsmp i still consistently watch now is wilbur and jack if that puts any of this into perspective lol. not sure if you even watch him but thought i’d throw this out there anyways because i love your takes/analysis!

This is kind of a big topic because it deals with the ways that viewers do and don’t transfer over from watching streamers. I winged an answer, but as usual the Twitch/Youtube sphere is still mostly out of my depth :p. While I fully believe that Ludwig is good at what he does, I think he caters to and relates to his audience in a different way (cismen) than what would appeal to what the majority of DSMP fans want out of a stream.

Back when the balls incident hit Ludwig expressed confusion that anyone from the MCYT twitter sphere was talking about him because he himself knows that the gap between the audiences is pretty big. My thinking at the time was that the DSMP sphere kind of sees the Ludwig-and-co group of streamers as distant family, we don’t hear too much firsthand but if he gets publicly naked or arrested it will trickle down the pipeline. From outside looking in it seems that uncle Ludwig doesn’t want to see us outside of holidays and funerals and most of his following feels the same, and I think that’s where I’ll start, because the DSMP fanbase is sensitive to recognising when they’re unwanted.

In the new wave of boundary culture, most fans want to feel like it’s possible to be in the good graces of their CC. Most of the DSMP culture is rooted in transformative fandom or at least what gets called ‘stan culture’ nowadays (that term has been watered all the way down to mean next to nothing) so it’s understood that they’re just not welcome to do as they’re inclined. I’m sure people go ahead and set up camp anyway, but you have to position yourself as counter to the creators wishes and the subculture itself if you want to enjoy that content in a way, and I think this round of MCYT blew up so big because the way that this style of fandom likes to move and interact was accepted instead of shunned. What’s left is people who are resistant to shame, which can be a lot of fun if you’re with the right people, but it’s more niche.

Not being able to commit to a streamer when watching livestreams is also an issue. There’s only so many hours in a day and it’s hard to half-ass an attachment to someone who takes that much time and attention to keep up with, so if someone or something else suits a viewer better, it makes sense for them to go to that person instead. I asked a friend and apparently some Dream Team people have crossover with his sphere which makes sense with the through-line of gamer-boyishness, so there us some audience overlap to keep people in the loop, but he’s far from one-size-fits-all for the whole fandom.

The question left to ask is do people really want to ‘explore what Twitch has to offer.’ I ventured out of my bubble once while following a lead and I quickly found myself among demons, because some of Twitch is the whale bones of deep internet boysclub gamer-ish culture. There is a profound sketchiness in some of these spaces that DSMP fans generally don’t tolerate, and in that sense they’ve been a force for good on Twitch, but it makes them allergic to certain people who also don’t like them back.

I don’t have the clearest sense of everything that Twitch (or live Youtube) has to offer, but my sense is that’s true for most people. It looks like streamer careers are made on the back of external referrals from other websites (and by extension peers), so once you get into a social circle there’s not much hopping around. You made an unlikely leap from SBI-ish to hitting the luddy, so it might seem more feasible from your point of view, but the venn diagram overlap of appeal will vary over the general ‘DSMP fandom.'

I don’t think digestibility was ever as much of an issue as baseline appeal. Availability of content is half the battle, but people have to want what you’re selling to really stick to or bond with an audience. Ludwig isn’t hurting for viewership by any stretch so he’s finding the people that gel with him, but when I think of the DSMP fandom I think of primarily personality-driven content (and fandom engagement) that’s taken on a very particular post-2020 flavor, and that doesn’t seem to directly translate into what Ludwig does even if it's in the neighborhood.

#I think i used too many metaphors here #tubeposting #Even if people get burnt out on Minecraft the mechanics that make up their taste will remain the same #so if they like the vibes they'll gravitate but if not they'll just pass by #gen ldwg tag

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captainclickycat · 2 years ago

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@collectoroflovelythings Oo thanks!

Well, ultimately my take is that I… quite like it. I think it works. They’re both extremely compelling, fleshed-out characters. They have legitimate chemistry, their arc makes sense and there was clearly a lot of thought put into the writing and the acting. I concede that they could have a very respectable Gomez-and-Morticia thing going on, but with a sunnier version of Gomez.

That being said, though, it was never essential for me, and I’m glad the show ended things on an ambiguous note between them. I think that worked best. For me, a romantic endgame between them is just… one of the ways things could go after the finale, if you see what I mean? Perfectly decent, but not the only trajectory events could take. (Personally I have a soft spot for Antigone/Zoe too and wish that had more fics, but that’s by the by.)

And when a good chunk of the fandom is centred around a popular ship that you just quite like, it can put you in a bit of a weird position. It doesn’t make me dislike it, but it does occasionally cause that “ok but can we talk about something else now” feeling. (Not that I think anyone’s at fault for this, you understand. I’m not the main character, nobody has to cater to me, and obviously I think people should talk about the things they like. It’s just a mildly unfortunate side effect.)

And I’m not generally a bit fan of the whole “character gets over an unrequited crush, and then gets the other person anyway” trope. It can work ok in the hands of a good enough writer (which it was here, obviously) but even then it can feel a little jarring, a little too having-cake-and-eating-it. So Antigone being ultimately doubtful about the whole thing and feeling like they’ve missed their shot made sense for me too.

All that said though, I really do think the dynamic between them works. Their chemistry is really on display in a lot of conversations, especially when they’re trapped in the mine shaft. I like the fact that Eric respects her as a professional from the get-go and consistently shows that over and over again, even before he starts moving towards liking her as a person and ultimately being romantically into her. Because honestly, “I loved you from the first syllable” is a lovely line, but I don’t believe him when he says it. That he’s in love with her now, sure, but not that he was at first meeting. I believe that he respected her from the off, though, and that feels more valuable than the idea that he was in love with her on sight.

Hearing him say “I found what I was looking for in your voice”, on the other hand, just makes me think yeah, that happened to me too, you’re not special lol.

And Antigone’s belligerent, vaguely domly horniness over him is always entertaining to witness, but her character development outside of their relationship has always been a massively integral thing too, and I feel like it gets overlooked in fan discussions sometimes. I love how much of a development arc she gets on her own terms, and I love that her desire for a romantic/sexual relationship has always just been one facet of who she is. It’s important to her, sure, but it’s not everything to her. I think that’s actually part of why I could believe a relationship between them could work in the end, because it wasn’t the only way she could ever feel happy or fulfilled in life. She doesn’t need him at that point, but she might still want him. So, you know, props to that.

So yeah, somewhere contentedly on the fence is essentially where I’m at. I like the occasional fanart of them and I’ll weigh in with a headcanon from time to time (like if they got married Eric would definitely change his name to Funn, right? And then he’d actually put the Funn in funerals?) but I definitely don’t have a high enough level of investment to call it shipping. All told though they’re really interesting compelling characters and their relationship with each other is sort of fascinating regardless of what I’d want it to end up looking like.

Honestly I sometimes think one of the main reasons I don’t ship chapgone (although I think it works and is fine) is because Chapman nabbing himself an Antigone would not be conducive to Chapman suffering in a way I can laugh at. I mean that’s basically the opposite of suffering.

#god sorry this went on forever #wooden overcoats

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goblins-riddles-or-frocks · 2 years ago

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fire emoji + Black Butler. insert smirking emoji here lmao. also fire emoji + grishaverse ships, fire emoji + grishaverse narrative endings/wrap-ups

Black Butler:

OMG I have so many soapboxes here, where do I even begin?? I will give you a laundry list

- Black Butler occupies this really weird place where the subject matter is incredibly dark and yet the tone is light and feels like it’s initially aimed at younger audiences. It’s something I have a lot of mixed feelings about! Because on the one hand jfc it really should not be shown to younger people. The earlier arcs especially are just really hijinksy (despite the backstory consistently being real grim) and then we get to BoC where it’s like “Ciel gets triggered so bad he decides to immolate a bunch of orphans! anyway!” like ???

But also I did personally get into it back in the day as a baby and latched on pretty hard because there’s fucking nothing out there about CSA survivors. Even now tbh? And idk it’s nice to have something with a survivor protagonist where trauma is intrinsic to the storyline while also not being overpowering/the only aspect of the narrative. It’s still a story about dumb mysteries and idk supernatural bullshit. Idk, I just wish it was more even handed in letting the audience know what kind of content to expect and also less… creepy…

- That paired with how impossible the anime is to get into, and the endless filler have really contributed to the IP just being run into the ground. Like the anime at this point is kind of just catered to existing fans. It’s already demonstrably unlikely for uninvested new people to sit through the really bad early art and weird non canon filler content in the early seasons, and a *series* ending to then jump to an entire new timeline that retcons 90% of what previously happened lmao. Meanwhile manga fans are less active because we’ve been dragged through the same fucking storyline for 5+ years at this point and there’s only just been any real movement. And like Yana is clearly putting in less effort bc of TWST (which fair, Disney’s where the money is) but yeah no fucking wonder it’s all downhill.

- 2CT was terrible writing (the way NO ONE ever mentioned a dead sibling??) but it was hilarious and also Yana Toboso’s best writing choice in this series ahgsjgd

- FUCK Sebastian! Hate that bitch! Also want to see him be more evil ASAP. It’s really funny when fans get like. upset. that he’s doing demon shit. Anyway I can’t believe we see that his true form is gelatinous eldritch eye blob (gee that sounds familiar lmfao) and it came up ONCE and never again! I demand body horror

- I know I’ve already told you this but season two was bad but Alois was good!! He used to be pretty controversial before, but atm the fandom mostly seems to like him? Finally some good taste. Also I’m forever upset that Yana apparently considered writing him into the Weston arc and then didn’t? We were robbed.

- LBR we’re never getting a Weston arc adaptation…

Grishaverse:

- I’ve somehow managed to immediately dislike any ship LB has tried to make endgame. Idk I just do not like how she handles endgame ship conflict— it’s always very Gender Roles ime? Like exhibit A is Malina’s everything.

And then Kanej (rip I know it’s both the fan favorite and your favorite) is very cut and dry goodhearted girl demands cruel dude to change. And like it was. fine I guess? I’m not meaning to insult them by including them with Malina lol but it was just boring and not my thing. And it didn’t help that Inej kept being taken hostage, hurt, or somehow threatened to spur Kaz into action. Like I don’t think it was done in a particularly bad way! It just personally put me off the ship.

Then with Zoyalai it’s like slightly better where Nikolai entire thing is like “I am a wilting flower within a gilded cage! I must marry for politics but I would like to marry for love. Specifically my hot gruff general who doesn’t seem to give a damn about me 🥺” Like that is a FANTASTIC basis tbh? But then you already know how I feel about her throwing his father’s portrait into the fire. And then the bit where Zoya has to be in mortal peril for Nikolai to learn how to control his demon completely killed it for me.

- LOL well I don’t think there’s been a truly good wrap up in this series yet? LB is good at throwing things on the page that feel conclusive/follow face value beats. But I can’t think of a single book, let alone series wrap up, that actually tied things up well.

S&B, literally the first book, comes the closest imo? And that’s partly because it’s definitively not a wrap up, it’s obviously the start of a larger story. Also points taken off for the climactic choices about mercy having fuck all to do with anything the earlier story laid out.

After that, I think it’s a tie between CK and RoW for best wrap ups? And that’s not saying much, I didn’t really like what she did with either of them structurally, thematically, or just like on a content “where are the characters at?” level. Again, I think she only understands tropes and recurring beats in endings without fully getting the function of what makes them work and why. (an example being both the SoC duology and TGT operating on an “ending right where you started” circular arc to varying degrees of um. arguable. success)

I might be slightly crankier about this because I haven’t the read the books in awhile lol. I tend to remember things either with undue generosity or ire 😂 But yeah tldr on grishaverse wrap ups: I don’t like them!

Send me a 🔥 and a topic and I’ll give you an unpopular opinion on it!

#i ramble sometimes #🔥 unpopular opinion meme #black butler #kuroshitsuji #grishaverse #I ramble sometimes #all the bendy punctuations

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yamujiburo · 5 years ago

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tagged by @queenof-evil-blogging

Pick 5 shows, then answer the following questions! Don’t look at them first. Then tag some people.

Pokemon

Jimmy Neutron

The Amazing World of Gumball

Steven universe

My Little Pony

Who is your favorite character in 2?

Carl Wheezer!!! My boy!!! Most people either love or hate Carl and Sheen but they were the best part of the show for me. I like how he’s kinda the nerdy trope but actually not (he’s really dumb). The voice acting for him is A+, the gags with him are my FAVORITE (“that’s not mine...” “that’s not me”). God I love him

who is your least favorite character in 1?

Oh god there’s so many characters in Pokémon. I didn’t really like Paul much. He’s a good character/rival and serves his purpose in the show but uh yeah didn’t really like him.

what is your favorite episode of 4?

THERE’S TOO MANY GOOD SU EPISODES!! The one I go to the most though is Rose’s Scabbard. Such a beautifully sad episode where we learn about Pearl’s relationship with Rose. Plus UGH the music at the end makes me cry every time.

what is your favorite season of 5?

Season 4 for SURE. Season 4 is when I jumped into MLP (yeah after the alicorn stuff). That felt like peak MLP to me. They hit their stride with the writing, the characters were well established but there were new challenges they had to face with Twilight being a princess and all (plus it was before the started catering more to their male audience). It’s also just very nostalgic for me being that it was the first season I kinda watched while being in the fandom.

who is your favorite couple in 3?

Ooof hmm. TAWoG doesn’t reaaaally focus on ships all that much. I thoroughly enjoy Gumball and Penny’s relationship, and Carrie and Darwin are cute as hell. But I think I gotta Go with Nicole and Richard, especially after watching “The Choices”. I hate when shows portray marriages as awful and like the worst possible scenario. They make jokes about it but Nicole and Richard genuinely care for each other. I always think about the part in “The Fury” when Nicole is sad but Richard cheers her up in his own goofy way. So cute ;0;

what is your favorite episode of 1?

I,,, have watched,,, Pokemon XY63 so many times you would not believe. It’s a Jessie episode (obviously). Seeing her fall for this doctor and do a complete 180 in character was so funny but also gives insight into how desperately she just wants domesticity and to be loved. Seeing James and Meowth be supportive of her choice and letting her go hurts so gooood and the little sprinkled in “twerps offering to help jessie plan her wedding” was wholesome.

I know I can only pick one but HHHHHH SAYONARA DOKUCALE MESSED ME UP. It was one of the first Pokémon episodes I had ever seen and I distinctly remember watching it in my Uncle and Aunt’s living room and SOBBING. Jessie backstory, a twerp truce AND a bitter sweet ending. GOOD STUUUUFFF

what is your favorite episode of 5?

I always come back to Rarity Takes Manehattan (rarity’s my favorite fyi haha). I love love loved the songs, Suri Polomare for no reason is so funny to me LMAOOO. Rarity episodes where she has a creative breakdown, which is most of them, are super relatable haha. There was so much fun Tabitha St Germain acting and great animation. It’s not the most well written episode of MLP but I still very much enjoy it.

what is your favorite season of 2?

This is really difficult bc Jimmy Neutron is just so consistent all the way through. I looked at a list of episodes and most of my favorites are in S2 so I guess that one! I remember watching a lot of these with my brother.

how long have you watched 1?

I’d seen episodes of Pokémon since like the early 2000s but didn’t start watching regularly until DP when me and my brother finally convinced our parents to let us watch it. I feel like we got into it around 2007/2008?

how did you become interested in 3?

Oh god everything about it interested me! Gumball came out RIGHT when I was starting to seriously pursue animation as a career. So, the animation/mishmash of animation styles initially hooked me right away. But then the WRITING. Oh the WRITING is what kept me coming back. It was so smart and snappy and it greatly shaped my sense of humor.

who is your favorite actor in 4?

SUSAN EGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!! Literally the whole cast is incredible but Susan Egan’s voice is just,,,, WHEW!!!

which do you prefer: 1, 2, or 5?

This is the hardest question I’ve ever had to answer. I love each of these shows for such different reasons. But if I were put in a scenario where someone said “i’m gonna show you a random episode from one of these shows, which do you wanna watch?” I would pick Jimmy Neutron hands down.

if you could be anyone from 4, who would it be?

I would be Sapphire I think. Just like vibing w my wife as a fusion sounds p dope.

would a crossover between 3 and 4 work?

Well 4 did a crossover with Uncle Grandpa so yes absolutely. Plus Gumball is so meta anyways, it would work with generally anything.

pair two characters in 1 who would make an unlikely but strangely okay couple?

delia,,,, and,,,,, jessie

overall, which show has the best storyline: 3 or 5?

MLP for sure! Gumball is super episodic and started having continuity by the later seasons (and the storyline they were gonna have got CANCELLED so!!!!)

which has better theme music: 2 or 4?

Jimmy Neutron is a classic but the fact that there is a full theme for SU and it made me cry when it was released at ComicCon is making me want to say SU lol.

I TAG YOU IF YOU SEE THIS!!!

#long post #tag

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laufire · 4 years ago

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bellarke 👀

👀 👀 👀

My opinion on this ship has ~layers. There’s what I think about the relationship as it is in canon: very unbalanced allyship that shouldn’t really be called friendship that stayed remarkably consistent all through the end (which yes, includes Clarke killing him, sns) given how the show kept pulling in three or four difference directions. I especially love the reading of Bellamy projecting his relationship with Octavia on Clarke; it works so, so well for something that seems to be wholly accidental.

Then there’s my opinion of it seen as a legitimatelly romantic option, which is... bitch where?? Where??? Everyone talks about this repressed feelings they have for each other as if these weren’t two individuals who’ve never failed to make a move or jump at a chance to be with someone they wanted, but for some reason they repressed THIS. Okay, sure. Whatever you say. There’s nothing in the show that points to unequivocal romantic feelings, period. And interpretation is free, but you get to a point where a particular reading becomes unsustainable, just saying.

And here’s the thing: from a writing standpoint, it was never going to happen. The conspiracy theories about how the writers did intend to write it as romantic are ridiculous because if that’s true, guess what! They would have fucking written it!! Writers are self-indulgent assholes 99% of the time, and that 1% left are half-assed attempts to compromise that never satisfy an audience. They didn’t put Clarke and Bellamy together because they didn’t see Bellamy and Clarke together (and I wish people stopped brining up that 1x08 script... if that meaningless hint I keep forgetting wasn’t in the show, is because they toyed with the idea and chose to remove it. That tells you everything you need!).

Personally speaking, I would never want unenthusiastic writers in charge of writing my ship. In this cases, I just rather it didn’t happen. Put yourselves in their shoes, people: would you be able to convincingly write two people you just can’t see together in a convincing romance? I wouldn’t, not even if you paid me for it! Why do people assume tv writers should only agree with their view, must agree with their view and see things their way? If it doesn’t happen, it’s better to make peace with it; continue the show if it’s still worthy, and drop it if it’s not. But wanting them to write a ship they despise to cater to others? How can anyone not see the result would not satisfy the shippers??

And at last, there’s my opinion of the ship as a fandom phenomenon, one I’ve had to witness in my own spaces (with several layers of separation from the worst of the worst, bless tumblr’s block feature 🖤): nononononoNONONONONONONONO!!! XDDD. I don’t loathe it as much as I once did because it’s so, so dead (and because I no longer gaf about Bellamy, so his romantic preferences don’t matter to me anymore), but I won’t ever forget this fandom and all it attempted to pull. Never. Apparently they’re trying to make plans to emigrate to other fandoms together and I sincerely hope they don’t end in any of mine. They made this one such a toxic place; not all on their own, ofc, there were other sectors doing their best to suck, but they were the most vocal and most numerous and they were a fucking nightmare. I’ve never been so pleased by a show refusing to cater to a fanbase, and I’m ALWAYS pleased when writers refuse to cater to entitled fanbases.

As a final aside: fuck Beliza shippers especifically. Fuck them. I despise them and their continuous abuse-apologia and cyberbulling with every atom of my body. If Mr. and Mrs. Morley didn’t economically benefit from their chronic stupidity and need for validation (because the way they seem to see it is that hey, they didn’t get Clarke and Bellamy together, but their actors got married!!), I would be perfectly fine with them getting ripped-off for their troubles. They’re the worst of the worst of the Bellarke fanbase in its purest, most concentrated form and it fucking shows. Each of them I see goes straight to the block list, I have no patience for this bullshit. I reiterate: fuck them.

Send me a ship and I’ll give you my (brutally) honest opinion on it

#nectargrapes #replies #talking to the void #my thoughts #bitter lau tag #t100 thoughts #the 100 #t100 fandom problems #antibellarke for ts #antibeliza for ts

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secret-engima · 4 years ago

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Some Random Reasons I Really Like the Boruto Anime.

(because yes it has it’s problems but honestly I’m tired of trying to enjoy my fandoms with everyone whinging that it’s “not as good as the original”. As if the original two Naruto shows weren’t utter dumpster fires with moments of Pure Awesome to keep it alive and half the fandom isn’t there solely to pick through Kishimoto’s junkyard world building looking for shiny bits to incorporate in their fanfics. Which is not to say I don’t like the Naruto shows, but seriously ppl you can’t whine about how bad the fillers and slow pacing and weird world-building of Naruto was only to turn around and scream that Boruto is horrible of TRYING TO BE DIFFERENT. Let’s inject some positivity in here. Anyone who has no need for Boruto positivity can kindly move on with their lives and let me have my shiny fandom. Moving on.)

-Reason 1. Mitsuki exists. He is Best Boi™ and I adore him.

-Reason 2. The characters are not carbon copies of their parents, but neither are they polar opposites. They have some of their parent’s traits and some of their own unique traits and honestly it’s so refreshing to have a show that isn’t “Main Character X Take 2: This time with a New Color Scheme”

-Reason 3. Have you SEEN how many girl characters there are in this show? Even if most of them are side characters? Have you SEEN the fact they can actually DO STUFF other than flip their hair and whine about boys? One of them can use seals! And has CAT POWERS!! Another one was the antagonist of the first story arc! And was actually cool! And also got reformed rather than just being yote off the nearest cliff! The main female character is actually useful without being either a whim or a jerk!

Reason 4. The school system has been revamped in ways that make SENSE. The Naruto cast (especially Iruka as the new headmaster) looked back on their early life and went “You know what? It’s REALLY DUMB that we were so unprepared for shinobi life. Let’s change that.” And they did! Students actually learn water and tree walking BEFORE they get thrown into life and death situations! They know jutsu other than the Basic Three! They get to know basic sealing and learn that Summoning jutsu exists! There’s a student who knows medical ninjutsu, so that’s obviously an optional course or something kids can take! They also have an option to NOT BE NINJAS. If they decide partway through they don’t wanna be ninja’s, there’s a civilian middle school program incorporated into the academy! Do you know what that also means? Civilians who get to know BASIC SELF DEFENSE. So even if they aren’t Ninja, they at least know how ninja work and how to not Insta-die the next time someone breaks into their village!

Reason 5. THERE’S AN INTER-SCHOOL TRANSFER PROGRAM. Way to show just how tight the alliances of the different villages are. Even if it’s only mentioned here and there, it’s SUCH a cool thought with so much fanfic potential.

Reason 6. Chocho, flipping, Akimichi exists. Yes, she can be a little annoying with her running gag of “I’m so pretty” but like- SHE IS ACTUALLY PRETTY. And she knows and can use the clan jutsu really well! DO YOU KNOW HOW EASY IT WOULD HAVE BEEN for them to either make her utterly hideous and go “Hur hur look at the fat girl thinks she can actually be pretty lol” OR make her constantly whimpy and shy and lacking any confidence at all because “oh look at the poor girl, she’s FAT so she must feel UGLY all the time, and have no confidence because what FAT PERSON has any confidence unless they’re delusional?” Both of those would be so freaking stupid and defeating. But INSTEAD they make Choho 1. pretty and 2. self-confident. She dresses nice, she looks nice, she’s not stick thin like say, Sarada, but she is actually pretty and she OWNS it. She owns her love of food, and her clan jutsu, and just- herself in general. And yea they use it as a running gag sometimes when she plays it up a little too much, but like- there’s a body positivity character! Right there! Who is also a girl who kicks butt! One of the biggest complaints I’ve seen of the naruto show is that the girl characters are flat and useless and underused save for like- Tsunade. Here you have a useful girl who is also body confident! And that’s not even touching on Sarada “can use both super strength and the sharingan and owns this fact” Uchiha.

Reason 7. Boruto’s issues are not his dad’s issues. There are ... lots of “kid sequels” i’ve seen/read/heard of where all the problems are basically the main character’s problems rehashed. And yeah, the villains so far are that I’ve seen are callbacks to the main show, BUT. EMOTIONALLY. Boruto’s issues aren’t the same. Boruto doesn’t have the “nobody likes me I must earn their respect” issues Naruto did. Or the orphan issues. He has a loving mom, he’s a loving big brother (who makes mistakes and does argue with his sister, which #realistic kthanks), and he is popular. Being alone isn’t his problem. Being unpopular or hated isn’t his problem. His problems are that he doesn’t know how to bond with his always-busy dad (which- of course Naruto is always busy, that’s just the show writers continuing the Overworked Hokage gag from the original show, and yes Naruto uses his Shadow Clones to help with it but come ON he’s running a military force AND a booming village) and that he hasn’t had the same life experiences Naruto had at that age. He’s learning to mature in a different way. If Naruto and Naruto Shippuden were about children who grew up too soon in a brutal ninja world, then Boruto is about kids who grow up in the AFTERMATH of that world. The world where their parents never want their kids to suffer like that and so, just a little, coddle them. It’s kinda like the aftermath of the big wars. The kids who grew up during that war are adults now and their kids have COMPLETELY DIFFERENT life experiences and priorities. It’s just how it works, and I appreciate that.

Reason 8. We have a girl Uchiha who wants to be Hokage. I love the Naruto and Naruto Shippuden shows, but it got ... a LITTLE tiresome that Naruto’s dream was also the dream of both his dad AND his mom and I think also kid Jiraiya at one point? Like- it seemed like at that point the show was going “Of course you want to be hokage! It’s in your blood!”. Boruto couldn’t care less bout being the next Hokage. He’s lived what it’s like to be the Hokage’s kid (something Asuma, if he’s still been alive, could have sympathized with I’m sure) and he doesn’t want to be that person. Sarada on the other hand has lived the live of having no real dad figure until recently, and as such Naruto’s “all the village is my family” motto really rings home with her. She wants to be the next Hokage, not Boruto, and frankly that’s refreshing.

Reason 9. Shino the teacher. I’m pretty sure this is a controversial point but honestly I really liked this. I do have some issues with how the og characters are portrayed (looking at you Kiba and Anko), but Shino I have no issues with. This is an intelligent, helpful boy who grew up struggling to bond with people and who grew up with people constantly interrupting him/not listening. And this gag does make its frequent appearance in Boruto, but that’s not Boruto’s fault that’s actually a case of the show being consistent with its predecessor so, you know, go blame Kishimoto for how his students didn't listen to him in the early episodes. BUT. As the episodes go on, it’s so clear the students do love and respect their teacher. They wouldn’t talk to him if they didn’t. They might not see him as a terrifying warrior, but he’s their TEACHER. Even Mitsuki comes to respect Shino, going out of his way (spoiler) to fight Shino in the graduation exam because Mitsuki saw Shino as someone worth testing himself against. Mitsuki. Orochimaru’s “perfect clone bby”. Thought Shino was badass enough to fight. And also on the student body in general, OBVIOUSLY they listen to him off screen, because if they didn’t then they wouldn’t have learned the things they did and have actually succeeded in the graduation exam, now could they?

Reason 10. Naruto and Sasuke are still utterly epic WITHOUT stealing the spotlight the moment they come on screen. I’m not that far into the show, so maybe that changes, but from the arcs I’ve seen (mostly the Shin arc), Naruto and Sasuke are utter powerhouses, but they don’t ... they don’t just hax the show. In the same way Jiraiya didn’t hax everything and steal the spotlight from Naruto, neither do Naruto and Sasuke, but we still see they’re awesome (after all, they were perfectly capable while fighting all the Shins, and just- the moment one of them got a look at Kuruma it was OVER and it’s SO clear in that moment that Sasuke and Naruto were holding back because they didn’t want to kill a bunch of kids. Naruto or Sasuke on their own could have MASSACRED the Shins, but didn’t, because they’re former protagonists (and reformed antagonist in one case) like that.

So... tl:dr Boruto is not Naruto or Naruto Shippuden but considering all the massive plot holes and world-building errors that happened in those shows, as well as the utter lack of use of its female characters, that’s not a bad thing! Boruto has some stuff wrong with it, and some things that I can see annoying/ticking off fans who had their heart set on another path, but the show has potential, the characters are utilized much better than I expected, and as someone who did not grow up on Naruto and so doesn’t have shiny nostalgia glasses spot welded to my face, I think it’s a really good show.

Honestly if it wasn’t a sequel of such a monolith, childhood-forming show, I think it wouldn’t get NEAR as much hate, and the fact that it gets such flak because it dares have its own unique take on the post-Naruto Shippuden years rather than trying (and inevitably failing) to cater to the whims of every single fan out there makes me sad. If you want to see more of Naruto’s world and see female characters actually get some cool moments to themselves, then give it a try. If you’d rather go with your own Naruto HCs for what happened at the end of the war, then that’s FINE, just don’t get mad at those of us who enjoy Boruto for the glorious animated fanfic AU it is.

#Secret Engima Rambles #SE rants #boruto #i like this show #you can pry it out of my cold dead hands #long post

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fictionalrambles · 4 years ago

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Shadowhunters Fandom Story - Part Sixteen

Submitted by @miss-shiva-adler

Five Fave Fics:

1. Your Love is Payment Enough by @tobythewise I don’t know what else to say, I have religiously followed this fic from the first day of posting. It really made me fall in love with Toby’s writing, every word was a treat and really made me just fall in love ? I don’t know what else to say. Toby is an amazing person and I am blessed to call them my friend. They have taught me to fall in love with omegaverse AUs and to be openly writing about kinks that have made me feel embarrassed about to write about before. This fic is the prime example, I love it so so much. Toby has made me feel comfortable to just write things that I otherwise wouldn’t even have conceived sharing with the world. The way Toby writes is a real safe space for me. I thrive on angst and tears and tragedy. But when I read Toby’s fics I know it’s safe, I know they will transport me to a world where things will be alright, writers like Toby are a beating heart in this fandom when you need a fluffy fic to go to. This fic has the right amount of angst that I can read and reread whenever and don’t need to be in a special mindspace to be for it. This fic is a gift that has kept on giving by every update and every chapter.

2. I've got a renegade heart (and it's screaming his name) by LiviKate

This fic was recommended to me by an Aro-ace friend following a discussion about Raphael’s sexuality and how to explore it in fanfiction while still being consistent with a sex-repulsed headcanon. This fic has given me a better insight on how to write Raphael and I take that with me every day when I write Saphael. It helps me navigate on what I want to include and not include in my own fics and that’s wonderful. I love rereading it when I can.

3. thousands upon thousands made an ocean by @oh-la-fraise-blog Team mortal!Alec for ever especially in a TWI! Au I love this fic so much, the wording, the way it’s constructed, it made me want to try things narratively. In so little words it got me to places and emotional places. I literally cannot even remember how many times I have reread this fic. Because it’s this just REALLY REALLY GOOD. I’m glad it exists, I’m glad how it inspired me. I still think about this fic often days or even months after reading this the first time. It’s amazing, it’s everything I want from a TWI fic.

4. In the Sin Bin by @otppurefuckingmagic

I have to mention my first fic I read of this fandom. I was swept away with emotions and I loved the world building from day one. I’m usually not so interested in depowered/human AUs but this one made me like it and convinced me to read more of them and give them a chance. My primary attraction to Alec is the fact that he is closeted and I mean : such a mood ? This fic was around while I am still struggling with myself. This fic somehow helped me, in times where I wasn’t feeling nice or up for it or when I was broody. I was just able to tune out and read this and it made me feel so much better about things; things being myself, my gender etc. I’m glad it exists, I’m glad this is a to go fic that made me feel nice and good. AND THERE ARE ANGST SCENES THAT LIKE I STILL REMEMBER UNTIL THIS DAY AND ITS BEEN LIKE OVER A YEAR NOW.

5. as your sun sets (i know you in bleary-eyed 3AM)

by @the-prophet-lemonade

I don’t know where to begin and where to start, this fic, the writing style. I have yet to review this fic but I feel like I can’t because there is so much that just feels perfect to me. If I ever had writing goals I think it’s theprophetlemonade’s writing style. I can only wish to write this good. I hope to get there eventually and this fic is a motivation to keep going and hoping that I’ll be able to develop my own style and to continue writing even tho the words are sometimes not doing THEIR THING. About this fic I only have this to say : I almost never read Gen or T rated fics that are over 3k, I just don’t, unless very special circumstances. These were super special circumstances, I really needed a long ass fic that was a sense8 AU and I was desperate. So I tried this fic any way. AND OH DAMN (just imagine me capslocking the rest of what I’m about to say) this fic changed how I saw fanfiction as a whole; this fic also kept elements that I really enjoyed in the show, Jace and Alec’s relationship, the background actual polyam Clacemon a pure delight. The yearning both as a reader and Alec for wanting to meet Magnus. It was so good, so.fuckng.good.oh.my.god. I can’t explain how much this fic just made me want to be better at writing as a whole; I’m thankful it exists, I’m thankful it’s there and that I can read it as many times I want. I love the character building, I love the entirety of it. The way the cluster manifests, how it feels natural and how the narrative flows, the fluidity of it, the way that this whole fic is constructed is a pure work of art. I weep as much as I am elated for it.

Tell me what writing for this fandom means to you.

I don’t know where to begin, through this fandom I have found a whole set of friends that mean the world to me as of today. I have wanted to and definitely have improved my writing thanks to this fandom. I have tried things I wouldn’t have even imagined writing before. There are things I was able to try and still want to try and even if I don’t have a steady audience of people I still want to write what interests me above all. Ships that I find interesting to try out to explore. AUs that are maybe a bit over the top or are a bit silly but I feel confident enough to actually share these with readers because I am finally starting to believe that there is readership for what I write.

The first thing I did was cater to my fandom experience and this has just melted out to the better. I’m so grateful. So grateful there are safe spaces for me out there with my main, rare-pairs and even controversial ships. I have tried different styles still in pursuit of getting better and to improve my writing, I’d like to believe and have improved. These characters, oh do I love them all so much. All these characters have potential and made me help focusing on improving them through plot. I have so much improved in my writing when it’s about atmosphere and emotions. And godamned even dialogues (dialogues and fighting scenes are the bane of my existence). This is a gift that I just cherish beyond everything else out there. Next to the friends I have made out there of course.

I also finally wrote my first actual long fic and finished it ? it’s an achievement I’m proud off and will be forever proud of. A bit longer than a year ago I was somewhere really deep, very deep, mentally. I was able to pick myself up again and do what I really love doing best, and that’s writing. I have this fandom to thank for that.

#shadowhunters #shadowhunters fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfiction blog

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wickednerdery · 5 years ago

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Title: Hoarfrost Hel: Strained Author: @wickednerdery Fandom: Marvel Pairing/character: Thor, Valkyrie, The Grandmaster, & mutant!OCs Rating: Explicit Summary: “And what’s the plan...?” Notes: This is the second part of what’s shaping up to be a legit trilogy (the first is FrostBitten) - the master list is here. The story on whole is gonna be very dark, this piece - which picks up few (Sakaar) months after the last one - has very little in the manner of adult content, actually. For consistency and length, it gets a “Read More”.

"Woah, hey hey, what’s going on there?” Tony’s eyes narrow, unsure he’s seeing what he’s seeing.

Lynk narrows eyes back. “What do you mean?”

“Are you kidding me?”

“The coding is correct, there are no errors.”

“Your hair, Lynk. What’s up with your hair?”

For months she’s kept visuals down, claiming it necessary for repairs. She’s spaced out replies to hide the quick passing of time. Tony’s been through enough, he’s done enough worrying about her, other Avengers, everything...she doesn’t want add to his troubles.

“Lynk?”

She sighs, confesses. “Time moves different here.”

“How?”

“I don’t know, sometimes it feels faster, others at a stand still. Faster overall though.”

Tony takes a deep breath, trying to stay calm. “How long since we’ve last spoken? For you.”

“Four, maybe six, months.”

“Jesus Christ.” The paperclip he’s fiddling with snaps, he tosses it aside with a sigh. “You’ve been alone that whole time?”

“I have my assistant, Rags.”

“Your slave.”

“Assistant. I explained that.”

Tony starts to pace. “Yeah, yeah.” If he stays still he’ll feel all the more helpless. “But all this time, no Thor? Ash? Gabe?”

“I communicate with Ash.”

“Communicate?”

“Speak with.”

“And the others?”

“I know where they are.”

“Where?”

“Somewhere I can’t get to yet.”

“Meaning?”

“I’ll get to them later.”

“When?”

“When our plan works.”

He didn’t even wanna ask, but... “And what’s the plan, Lynk?”

Valkyrie can’t help but wonder what, exactly, Ash is planning. He’s gone from disobedient contender to the only other scrapper to compete with her. Beat her, on certain weeks. Of course it’s not just the sting of pride that makes her suspicious, it’s him going from openly opposing The Grandmaster to seeming to cater to the man. Grandmaster wants a Badoon contender, Ash finds him one. Grandmaster wants a Dire Wraith, Ash gets one of those. Worse yet, each of them seem eager to fight.

He selects carefully, using his abilities to pick out those who, at first glance, seem only eager to do battle and win The Contest of Champions. Yet, he stacks the deck in his - their - favor, finding those who can be directed elsewhere under a good leader. Someone like Thor, who Ash reassures this will work. This will work, if Thor can hold their respect and they follow him when the time is right.

Ash keeps tabs on Lynk through others at first, not daring to approach. Not with The Grandmaster’s people watching so closely, so ready to go for him. As he’s given more leeway he uses intermediaries and eventually she’s able to send him a bit of comms tech - one that only she can control.

“Lynk?” He mutters, knowing she’ll pick him up, clear as day.

“I’m on with Tony. He’s figured it out.”

“I’m not surprised, put us together.”

Lynk does and Tony immediately speaks. “What’s the plan, Ash?”

“You’re in no state of mind to discuss this with us, Mr Stark.” He remains polite as ever.

“Bullshit. Who says? You? Your powers aren’t that strong, Ash. Tell me what it is you’re planning now.”

“Just keep helping Lynk with the technology.”

“You’re going to get yourselves killed!” Tony snaps, breaths coming too fast. “Just leave, we’ll have S.H.I.E.L.D. send for Thor and Gabe, reassemble The Avengers.”

Ash smiles. “Lynk says you understand the time situation now, so you should realize they may get here too late.”

“Thor’s a god, Gabe as good as.” Without a touchpoint to what’s going on, Tony only thinks of physical dangers.

“You know better than most how time, events, can change people in profound ways. We wait on anyone from Earth, they may end up saving very different people.”

“It’s a risk I’m willing to take,” Tony states flatly, thinking of Lynk - who cannot survive what Thor and Gabe can - over the others.

“Well, I’m not.” Ash counters firmly. “Lynk, cut his feed, we need to talk privately”

Lynk hesitates as Tony insists he be kept on. “I...” But she knows what’ll be better in the long run. “I’ll call back later, Tony.” She disconnects him mid-rage. “He’s going to hate you,” she says to Ash.

“I can take it.”

“Did you find the being you were looking for?”

“Yes, I’m going to see them now. Tomorrow I’ll find you. Are you ready?”

“Yes.”

“Is Rags?”

“He says yes.”

“Good.”

“What if you can’t change her mind?”

“Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.” Ash’s gone this long without using violence, he’d hate to have to with someone who might not completely deserve it. Yet, sensing distrust nearby, he looks around and finds her watching him as she drinks and realizes...He might have to.

Just speeding up time - it is Sakaar after all - and letting ya’ll know how things are for Lynk and Tony (and Rags). As you can see, Ash and Lynk have at least reconnected on some level since being separated and are, in fact, working together on an escape plan for all of them. I think Tony was unknowingly part of it as he helps Lynk with tech stuff, but now he’ll have to make the choice if he stays out of it or goes all in on his end. Valkyrie remains a bit of a wild card, but Ash has plans to “handle” her as well - preferably without violence, but that may end up being up to her, LOL!!

Gifs found on Google, adjusted/combined by me.

Tagged: @chibiyanai @lady-crowned-with-stars @moonfaery @annievvv7 @ladyfluff @holykryptonitekitten @lokilvrr @janebrownnie @lokis-little-kitten @alexakeyloveloki @theangelsfightwithdevils @the-blue-tiefling @lokis-lady-death @dangertoozmanykids101 @prometheasmother @vethrvolnir @wintertink @amethyst-dreams-and-candy-canes @drakonwild @starscreamloki @judas-nipples @hiddles-rose @the-lady-witchitery @galaxies-inside-my-head @jackheart180 @lukeevansandjdmobession @endlessstairway @lanabanana-86 @tom-fucking-hiddleston-1981 @lovekrystina @madoka73 @lokikingofasgardslover713 @partiallyinthecloset @ultrarebelheart @gravitational-anomaly @manip-loki @sweetfictionalworld @lowcarbgem @tarithenurse @boredbrooder @beccaliciooouuusss @michellearel1 @toozmanykids …This is everyone from the original tag list, if you want on or off, just lemme know! (Strike-throughs are those Tumblr refused to tag properly)

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seyaryminamoto · 5 years ago

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What do you think about the allegations against Aaron Ehasz?

Well, I’m pretty disappointed in him. For a very long time he appeared to even be a driving force in featuring more strong and prominent female characters in his shows (both Azula and Toph were supposed to be male characters by Bryke’s vision, Ehasz’s input is often credited for making them who they are), so I guess it goes to show that what you present in your storytelling isn’t necessarily a display of values you hold in real life.

I’m not going to condemn TDP or Wonderstorm as a whole for his actions, but there’s one Twitter thread of allegations that are far too detailed to be dismissed as just “distorted and exaggerated” without genuine proof that that’s all they are. Taking the “innocent until proven guilty” route in these situations only ends up fostering the feeling that this kind of behavior is irrelevant in the face of the grand artistic achievements people like Ehasz can offer the world… and I’m sorry, but it’s simply not the case. I’d like to believe it’s possible to be a decent human being and a good storyteller on equal measure. Presenting yourself as a champion for equality and respect only to completely disregard those values in your personal life means you’re merely selling and promoting ideals you don’t honestly believe in, and it pretty much damages every possible message you could be trying to convey through your story.

I’ll continue to watch TDP, but I admit, this has soured things quite a lot for me and, I imagine, for a lot of people. Ehasz has the opportunity to genuinely reflect on his actions and take a different approach to his future as showrunner, writer and altogether human being. I truly hope he takes it… but I’m not holding my breath. However I may be thankful for some of the brilliant things he gave ATLA, I won’t hold that above the wellbeing of real people.

On another note… something that really bothers me about this situation is how it really brings to light that representation in media has turned into pretty much a tool for showrunners, storytellers, media conglomerates and whatnot. You may have all the rep for all sorts of minorities… but that doesn’t reflect, necessarily, what you truly believe in or how you behave in real life. And if there’s something everyone ought to learn with this, and with other similar fiascos, I suppose: you can’t just trust the real people behind the shows you love to be 100% true to what they’re preaching. More representation of minorities in media is great, but the more it’s pressed on that it’s a matter of QUANTITY rather than QUALITY, the more we’ll see situations like Ehasz’s own, where he can present himself a champion of LGBT rights by featuring female LGBT characters in his show while simultaneously firing or laying off all his female LGBT employees when no one’s paying attention.

Representation and diversity are being turned into a tool to get in with the “cool crowd”, to get the fans to throw all their money and support for a show with zero regard of the quality of said representation. Ultimately, I guess fandom needs to be more critical in the ways that matter. And I don’t mean “instantly hate on everything that doesn’t portray minorities as perfectly pure and morally flawless individuals or groups” or “boycott everything where minority characters die”: what I mean is that people need to start taking storytelling more seriously as what it is, storytelling.

Stories aren’t just a vehicle for political agendas of any kind. Stories are meant to show you different worlds, to let you live different lives through them, to experience existence through someone else’s eyes. In many cases, storytelling can be an exercise in empathy, and that’s what makes it ripe ground for representation of all sorts… but if you don’t care for what kind of story you’re being told, if you only privilege “how much rep I’m getting” over “what kind of rep I’m getting”, this trend will never stop. Big studios, big writers, they’ll keep on giving you what you want, breadcrumbs, just to keep you buying, watching, spending time on their stuff when they have to make the minimum effort for it.

I was recently thinking about it… I’ve been working on a story for close to 7 years now. I’ve made countless efforts to keep my storytelling consistent and solid even if it seems I’ve failed more often than not. I’ve slid through the cracks and weaved whatever extra worldbuilding was needed for the story I was writing… and yet I take one look at how the showrunners behave, and just today I ran into an interview where they basically just implied “We set things up mediocrely so fans could do the rest of the job for us”. The whole notion of readers and viewers interacting with art to “fill the gaps” has been misconstrued and completely defaced in recent times: they don’t have to work for it. They barely need to make any efforts to sell their ideas to fans. All they have to do is create something, promote the shit out of it, make sure people are watching it, and then reap the rewards as fans go crazy interpreting so much more than what’s really there. And they keep getting away with it… because we’re here putting in the efforts they don’t care to.

I think the entertainment industry, as a whole, needs to change. I’ve already started pondering a few ideas on how that change could come about… but I’m not exactly in a situation where I can make it happen anytime soon, let alone can I guarantee that anything I come up with will work for good. But I’d like to think we’ve had too many wake-up calls in the recent years, and as much as media is doing better with representation as of late, there’s a lot of ground to cover still. Two seconds of representation don’t make up for an entire show written without any of it in mind. Filling in the gaps for showrunners and creators is fun except for the fact that you’re putting a fuckload of work into something that will result in no real change beyond what you may affect within your fandom, because those showrunners and creators will disregard what you do (especially if it’s fanfiction) and every interpretation and perception you may have of their characters and world, because you’re just a tool for them.

Sounds so very fatalistic of me to say all this, I know… but Ehasz being in a startup company kind of had me thinking he’d be innovative, different from the big names in entertainment, and so far the way TDP’s fandom had been treated had definitely looked like something new to me. Now I can’t help but think fans are just another cog in the machine. And if we don’t want this to continue, we need to start looking for media worth promoting, worth defending, complex, smart, written not for profit but for genuine love of storytelling. Maybe the efforts we ought to make shouldn’t be about hounding popular creators to cater to our needs, or about doing their jobs for them by filling the gaps they left in their stories out of laziness or carelessness… but to promote the unpopular ones who are glossed over or forgotten when they’re actually making the kind of content we’ve been looking for. Until this changes, I don’t think Ehasz will be the only story we’ll see along these lines in the coming years.

#anon #aaron ehasz #if someone wants a read more I'll add one just let me know #I'd been thinking about this stuff for a long time to be honest #long before this mess happened #it just drove the nail further in I guess #something's rotten in fandom culture #and big showrunners have taken advantage of it #and will continue to do so #unless we do something about it

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faulty-writes · 4 years ago

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Warning: Blood Mention. Slight Self Esteem Issues. Slight Manga Spoilers.

Fandom: My Hero Academia

Pairing: Tenya Iida x Hitoshi Shinsou

[ Alright. This is yet another weekly prompt from @bnhabookclub this sfw prompt is Space/Galaxy AU. Once more I decided to use one of my favorite rare ships. ]

[ Tenya Iida is a student in class 2-A, training to become a defender of the universe. Much like the various other defenders or ‘heroes’ of his world, all willing to lay down their lives to protect the innocent. Hitoshi Shinsou is a recently transferred student into class 2-A, trying to catch up to the fellow students and prove his worth. However, it’s quite difficult for him to focus when the one he admires is in the same class. After a training exercise doesn’t go as expected, Hitoshi seems disappointed in himself. But Tenya offers him some advice and a little something special to motivate him. ]

U.A. High Academy, a high privileged educational facility that caters to shaping young students into model adults. There were several fields of study that one can be placed into. The Technologies Department, dedicated to the craft of developing new technology to aid the brave heroes of the universe and the knowledge of how to effectively make repairs to various agency ships that were responsible for taking care of distress calls.

There was the Fighter Pilot Division, exclusively reserved for those that were willing to put their lives at risk for missions that required stealth and power. Though it had been nearly a century since the last war took place which left Earth uninhabitable. The survivors of the aftermath used their combined quirk skills and knowledge to devise a plan that would be able to start a new civilization within the Milky Way Galaxy.

Though it was a mystery how quirks would be affected in this new zero gravity set up. But with each passing generation, the quirk users seemed to grow stronger. Grasping their abilities at a younger age than their previous predecessors and as civilization came to rise, another set of government-issued rules came into play. Separating regular civilian quirk users from those that would be the start of the universe's defense system.

A new licensing system came to be which also separated those deemed as heroes. You could be a cadet, which was the modern-day sidekick. A Lieutenant, someone who carried the ability to be a leader and teach the younger generation how to properly use their quirks. Lieutenant's, much like heroes can defend against evil as they too possess a license allowing them to do so. Still, heroes, or defenders as some called them. Stood high above the rest and were praised for their bravery and dedication.

Such heroes were made in the Cadet Division, where select students train their quirks under the supervision of a lieutenant, to hopefully one day become a defender of the universe alongside the many great heroes already present. U.A. High Academy also had a General Studies department, usually reserved for students who couldn’t pass the entrance exam or showed a lack of motivation for the various departments available to them.

Hitoshi Shinsou happened to be one of those students, but he longed to be a cadet. Despite the fact, his jealousy had originally blinded him, made him believe his quirk was useless compared to the lavish ones the students in the Cadet Division displayed. He had gone to Lieutenant Aizawa who took him under his wing and trained him to use his binding scarf as well as teach him some defense moves.

Encouraged him to explore the limitations and extensions of his quirk. In a way, Hitoshi felt as though he owed the man. But as he came to find out, there were many others that believed in him. Especially after he had successfully passed the exam to get into the Cadet Division, thinking back to it. He was nervous when he stood among the students of class 1-A and 1-B, but they all seemed friendly.

But one student, in particular, caught his eye, yet he could never find the courage to talk to them. He could barely even look at them without feeling butterflies, despite the countless times he reminded himself of his goal. Tenya Iida was slowly capturing his heart. His transfer to the Cadet Division would take place at the beginning of his second year and though he knew it’d take a lot of hard work to catch up to the rest of the students, he’d do whatever it took to prove himself.

He wanted to be a cadet, he wanted to be seen as a hero one day and he wouldn’t let anything stand in his way. The remainder of his first year was hell, every day he found himself growing impatient. Eager to start a new chapter of his life, he had kept in contact with a few students from class 1-A. Midoriya was one of them and he managed to get some information about Tenya through him.

He learned that Tenya’s reason for wanting to become a cadet was because of his admiration for his brother, who unfortunately was a recently retired Lieutenant who had an agency called Team Idaten. Hitoshi, though he was normally seen as a monotone individual, felt saddened when he learned that. Yet admired the fact that even with such a misfortune.

Tenya continued on, willing to become the next Ingenium as his brother wanted. He wondered if Tenya knew anything about him though, he could only imagine how the other felt about him. Especially after he declared war on class 1-A right before the Sport’s Festival. But, he knew such a fear couldn’t keep him at bay. On the first day of his second year, he walked into Class 2-A and watched as several familiar faces turned to look in his direction.

One of which was Midoriya, who smiled and waved at him. “Shinsou!” he called, “Over here!” the boy cringed, he hated attention and that was certainly something you got when someone else shouted your name across the room. However, his eyes widened when he noticed that Tenya was sitting among Midoriya’s little group and his heart skipped a beat. He quickly ducked his head, dammit.

He clenched his jaw before shyly walking over, despite the fact his shoes were the only thing staring back at him before he felt a firm hand on his shoulder. He gasped and lifted his head. However, his voice caught in his throat when he saw Tenya Iida standing in front of him. His shoulders broad and a gentle smile on his face, his glasses were halfway down the bridge of his nose.

But he reached his hand up to push them back into place which made Hitoshi swallow, God the sight of Tenya made his mouth go dry. “Hello!” he bellowed before retracting his hand from Hitoshi’s shoulder, but he almost missed that strong touch. Still, Tenya placed his hand on his chest and continued to speak. “As class president, I would like to welcome you to Class 2-A. I am quite aware that you may have a difficult time catching up to the fellow students as they have more experience,” Hitoshi glanced to the side and his fists tightened, yeah.

He didn’t need to be reminded of that, of course, they had more training. They had better quirks and combat skills he couldn’t possibly hope to match...yet. “However, if you need any help. Training or otherwise, please do not hesitate to ask me. As class president, I have a duty to my fellow students and I shall not rest knowing one of them is struggling.” he finished before dropping his hand and Hitoshi hoped his blush wasn’t noticeable.

Tenya had a way with words and he found himself smiling. “Yeah,” he replied, his voice was scratchy and rough. But Tenya returned his smile, which sent Hitoshi’s heart sky-rocketing faster than the escape pods of a ship. However, when Lieutenant Aizawa walked in. His hair down in its usual fashion and his tired expression seemed to be a permanent accessory.

His eyes scanned the classroom, Aizawa was the man that taught him the very limited skills he knew and he was a little nervous to see what further training the man had laid out for him. “Take your seats.” Hitoshi swallowed and hesitantly walked over to his desk. Hanging his backpack on the provided desk hook before facing forward, his hands curled in his lap.

He couldn’t help the nervous feeling that continued to consume him, he wondered if every potential cadet felt this way. Still, mornings were reserved for normal classes such as English, which was usually first period. This followed by Math, History, and so on. When afternoon came, it switched to cadet training where you’d slip into your cadet uniform. Some were modified to withstand the user’s quirk, but they were all standard and painted with the U.A. Academy colors which consisted of blue and white.

They also had the U.A. Academy logo and the name of the cadet was displayed on the right side. They were skin tight and allowed for easy movement, which was useful during combat. The students were then guided to the training grounds which were distanced away from the school for safety reasons. There were various training scenarios, replicas of cities and such. But it seemed like Lieutenant Aizawa wanted to keep things simple today and brought his cadets to what looked like a warehouse filled with various metal scraps and empty barrels.

It looked similar to the training ground Hitoshi had set foot on last year when he had passed the test to get into the cadet course. He looked at Aizawa, his eyes slit in suspicion. He wondered if the man did this on purpose, though it was often hard to figure out the puzzle Aizawa left behind. But one thing was for certain, he almost always had a plan with everything he did.

“Today’s training exercise will improve your evasive and defensive skills. If any of you are brave enough to go head to head with your opponent, you have permission to do so. However, I have paired each of you with someone that is your opposite. Someone that I believe will help improve the skills you are lacking.” Yeah, that was Aizawa alright. Somehow it felt as though he enjoyed torturing his students, but as a Lieutenant.

He took pride in watching his students grow, even if they failed along the way. The fact that U.A. Academy pumped out so many famous heroes, was one of the reasons they pushed their students so far. “Mm…” Hitoshi groaned under his breath, “Of course you’d do this.” he said as he crossed his arms, though his words caught Midoriya’s attention. “Uh…” the boy began to speak, catching Hitoshi’s attention.

“What,” he said as he turned to look at the green-haired boy, though he might have seemed intimidating because of his tone. Midoriya took a step back but kept his eyes locked with Hitoshi’s. “Are...you okay?” he asked and Hitoshi only sighed in reply. “Yeah...I’m fine,” he said before looking over at Aizawa, his fingers curled into the fabric of his uniform. Though it was clear he was lying, in fact, he felt a little insecure about how he would perform and who he’d be up against.

“Hm?” he turned his head when he heard another class approach, “Oh no,” he muttered as he watched the cadets of class 1-B approach. “Late again,” Aizawa commented and Sekjiro Kan growled in return. “Shut it, my students are here. Start the training exercise and witness the victory that my class will bring,” he replied which caused Aizawa to roll his eyes. “Fine,” he said before pulling out a piece of paper, it was scribbled with the students he had chosen to go head to head.

“Alright, first match up. Shinsou vs Momona.” he felt his stomach drop to the floor, out of all the people Aizawa could have chosen, why Momona? The blond was annoying, conceited and his quirk was...well maybe he had no right to say given his limited quirk usage. “Ah yes! How wondrous!” Momona declared, spinning on his feet, one hand to his chest and the other raised high in the air. He then lowered his hands, directing his attention to Hitoshi.

A chuckle sounded in his throat before he pointed his finger at the purple-haired boy, “I hope you’re ready to taste defeat! After all, class 1-A is just that. A bunch of losers,” Hitoshi raised his eyebrow while Kirishima practically hissed and pounced on Monoma. “What’s the big deal!? You’re always insulting our class! Fact is, we’re the only ones who have actually had a taste of what it’s like to defend the universe, to be true cadets, and face down the villains that are scattered across the galaxy! What the hell have you done?!” he questioned as he tried to claw the blond but Iida and Midoriya restrained him.

Monoma scuffed and stepped back, “How rude…” he said, taking note that Kirishima left some rips in his uniform. “He assaulted me!” he exclaimed as he pointed a finger at the angry red-head who was currently fighting to break free of the ones holding him back. “Oh shut it! Like you didn’t deserve that!” Kirishima cried back before Lieutenant Aizawa came over and restrained the students, though he didn’t bother using his Erasure.

Instead, he used his custom made scarf, and wrapped the students up as if they were mummy’s. “Quiet down,” he said, speaking as calmly as ever, though Hitoshi’s lips were already sealed closed. But his eyes drifted over to Iida, who was currently scolding Kirishima. Somehow it made him smile, Iida was always so professional and strict about following rules and trying to steer people onto the right path. It was admirable in a word.

“Control your student, he’s causing problems,” Aizawa informed Kan who scoffed and crossed his arms. “My students don’t cause problems,” he replied, making Aizawa roll his eyes once more. “Fine, whatever. Let’s just get this started.” he said as he looked at his paper once more, “Like I said, Shinsou and Momona. Take your positions on opposite ends, on my mark you’ll begin. Understood?” Hitoshi broke his glance away from Iida and turned to look at his teacher.

“Yeah,” he said before reaching down to place his mask over his nose, his scarf was laying contently around his shoulders. He looked over to Monoma as they made their way to the metal landscape. “I do hope you’re ready to lose.” the blond commented making Hitoshi roll his eyes, he didn’t believe bickering got anything done. However, he did try and use that tactic against Midoriya, but that was only to get the others mind under his control.

It wasn’t because he thought he was better than someone else or simply to start drama. He kept quiet and took his position on the opposite side of the training ground. He felt a little uncomfortable being surrounded by metal scraps and uncovered wires. But regardless, he decided to take cover behind an old air vent. He was crouched down, waiting until Aizawa gave the signal. In the meantime, he thought of possible strategies that he could use to counter Monoma.

His quirk was copy, but it was highly unlikely he could actually copy Hitoshi’s quirk. But Monoma’s skills in combat were pretty good and possibly outmatched his own. That’s what worried him the most, he was still learning how to use his scarf as well. So that put him at a disadvantage but like every great cadet and hero. He’d have to work with what he got and when Aizawa gave the signal.

Hitoshi decided that going head to head with Monoma would be the best option. Take out the enemy as soon as possible, but it was a little tricky jumping over the various obstacles and avoiding the metal scraps so he wouldn’t trip. Monoma seemed to have a similar idea, however when he came into view. Hitoshi noticed the smirk he wore and got his scarf ready, maybe if he could wrap him up. Disable him in some way so he could get an advantage in battle.

However, as soon as he got his scarf ready. Monoma jumped onto the side of a nearby building which had Hitoshi stopping in his tracks. His eyes were wide as he watched the fellow cadet make his way to another rooftop. He clenched his jaw and quickly used his scarf, sending it flying in Monoma’s direction. However, the boy turned and ran. Hitoshi quickly pulled his scarf, making easy work of wrapping around one of Monoma’s ankles.

“Oh my, you don’t think this will actually stop me. Has class 1-A sunk that low? Perhaps you need more training.” Monoma smirked before grabbing a piece of the scarf, Hitoshi firmly planted his feet into the ground. Knowing what was about to happen, “Tug of war? Don’t mind if I do.” he chuckled before pulling and Hitoshi quickly learned the boy wasn’t holding back. His feet scraped across the ground and he wrapped the scarf around his hands, trying to keep himself steady as he used his own strength to pull back.

Hoping to send Monoma flying toward him, but instead, the boy smirked once more. Hitoshi should have seen it coming when Monoma released his hold on the scarf. It sent him flying back, stumbling over his feet. He let out a cry when he tripped over a metal scrap, it cut into the back of his ankle. He clenched his teeth, trying his best to ignore the pain. But Monoma jumped from the roof, determined to pin Hitoshi to the ground.

“Damn it.” he hissed and crossed his arms as he noticed the boy reel his fist back. Hitoshi effectively blocked it, but he could feel the pain radiate down his arm. More than likely Monoma’s punch would leave a bruise. He cried out when he finally hit the ground, Monoma straddled himself on top of Hitoshi and continued to land hits. “Get off,” Hitoshi growled, reaching up to grab Monoma’s wrists.

“Oh, do my ears deceive me? Is that a student from class 1-A begging?” he questioned, before breaking Hitoshi’s hold. Before he could properly react, he felt the sting of Monoma’s fist against his cheek. His head violently turned and his mask flew off, revealing a dribble of blood from the corner of his mouth. He growled and turned back to look at Monoma. Once more grabbing his wrists, but his hands trembled and unlike before, there was a certain fire in his eye.

His face twisted with anger and somehow it scared Monoma. “What’s this?” he questioned before Hitoshi squirmed underneath him and brought his leg up, kicking Monoma square in the jaw. He watched as a small amount of blood splattered and a whimper left Monoma’s mouth, though it was mumbled by the blond’s hands. Hitoshi then used his scarf, effectively wrapping the thick cloth around Monoma’s waist and arms.

He growled and wiggled against the restraints. Narrowing his eyes at Hitoshi who still remained beneath him, “Y-You hit me!” he said, there were lines of blood dripping from his mouth and Hitoshi could only assume he had accidentally bitten his lip when the kick happened. Not that he cared that much if this was a life or deathmatch with a villain. Obviously, Hitoshi would be the victor, however, he heard footsteps coming.

“Alright...that’s enough.” his eyes widened at the sound of Aizawa’s voice and he quickly retracted his scarf, it laid loosely around his neck once more. Monoma scoffed and finally stood up, Hitoshi quickly followed, despite his ankle still bleeding. But as usual, he tried to put on a brave face. Especially in front of his lieutenant, he looked at Aizawa. His eyes were narrowed and obviously he was angry, Hitoshi couldn’t help but feel as though that anger was directed at him. Still, he was taken off guard when Aizawa stepped in front of Monoma and looked at the damage.

Monoma’s jaw was darkening in color, more than likely the signs of a bruise forming and blood still dripped from his lip. Hitoshi felt a lump form in his throat when Aizawa turned his glance at him, damn those eyes were intimidating. “I trained you to become a worthy cadet, the point of this training exercise was to practice your skills. I guess you’re the winner.” Aizawa said though Hitoshi felt anything but.

He growled and began limping, as he got closer to the group of students. He could hear their muttered comments, his quirk depicted him as a villain but now, would his actions be the cause of their impression of him? He growled softly, hanging his head low. However, there was one student who seemed rather concerned for him and reached out to grab his shoulder. “Pardon,” Hitoshi’s eyes widened as he immediately recognized the voice and slowly turned to see Tenya, a gentle smile was on his face but his eyes held a serious expression.

Normally the sight of him would cause Hitoshi’s heart to race but now, it was only weighed down by a small sense of guilt. Still, those butterflies filled his stomach all the same. “Yeah?” he replied, looking up at the other who reached up to adjust his glasses. “Forgive me if this seems rather imposing, but dear classmate. Are you feeling well? That display was rather...interesting.” Tenya said, his free hand moving this way and that as he spoke.

It almost made Hitoshi chuckle, but he forced himself to keep quiet. Tenya saw everything he did on the training ground, great. He had almost forgotten that cameras were everywhere and were often used to study the students and keep track of their improvement. Still, to know the one he favored saw his...display. It was disheartening and Hitoshi looked toward the ground, staring at his own shoes.

Tenya noticed this, a clear sign that his fellow student wasn’t comfortable enough to talk about the incident or perhaps he didn’t trust Tenya enough. In that sense, he couldn’t blame the other. After all, connections were formed on trust and he didn’t know Hitoshi enough to call him anything more than what he was. Just a classmate, though Tenya did notice those odd glances Hitoshi gave him and the way he’d look away when Tenya noticed he was staring.

It seemed as though he had caught the other's interest somehow, but what form of interest was still up in the air. Still, Hitoshi was a rather unforgettable individual. One who had single-handedly scared the cadets of class 1-A when he declared war on them. Yet, Tenya couldn’t stand to see one of his classmates looking so disappointed and reached one hand out. Delicately placing his fingers beneath Hitoshi’s chin and tilted his head up. He partly expected Hitoshi to fight it.

But he didn’t, he had already made a fool of himself. So why should he fight anything? Still, the dull expression in his eye was evident enough to show Tenya he wasn’t interested in anything at the moment. But Tenya wouldn’t give up, even if Hitoshi didn’t listen. He had to say and do what he felt as though a true hero would. One day he would be a brave lieutenant like his brother and in that sense, he couldn’t let anyone down and he wouldn’t rest knowing that someone was unhappy.

“Forgive me, perhaps this is quite out of line for me to say. But...violence at times is the only answer. You felt as though you were being threatened and despite the exercise being merely a form of training. I believe at that moment, you felt as though it were real and applied the skills you knew to break yourself of Monoma’s hold.” Hitoshi grumbled, despite the fact his cheeks were warm. Tenya was touching him and his hand felt so strong and yet gentle.

Could he ever be lucky enough one day to be able to hold that hand? Still, he may have a point. At that moment, when Monoma had him pinned down. He felt like a trapped animal, willing to claw and bite his way free. Was that sad? He glanced away a moment, taking a deep breath before he reached to take hold of Tenya’s wrist. He pushed it away which confused Tenya, though what more did he expect?

Perhaps a more...physical approach was necessary to get his point across and with that in mind, his expression grew cross. Though even so, it didn’t seem to phase Hitoshi. “Iida, I appreciate-” he gasped when he felt Tenya cup his face and much like before, tilted it just so. Hitoshi felt a lump form in his throat as he stared into those soft eyes, they were a hypnotizing color. “I see my words hold little effect, perhaps you will listen to this.” Hitoshi watched as a smile came to Tenya’s face before he leaned close.

“I-Iida?” Hitoshi questioned, feeling his heart race in his chest. He was more than certain what Tenya was going to do and closed his eyes, ready to feel those lips he had been dreaming of. He could feel the heat of Tenya’s breath, but unlike he expected. The touch of those feather lips didn’t come which caused Hitoshi to open his eyes, “Hm?” Tenya, though he wasn’t normally known for teasing, leaned up to press a kiss to Hitoshi’s forehead.

As soon as he felt those warm lips touch his skin, his eyes widened and his cheeks flushed pink. When Tenya pulled away, he took note of Hitoshi’s expression and almost chuckled. Though he knew that would be rude as he didn’t believe in laughing at other's expense. Still, it was quite amusing. He removed his hands before leaning close to Hitoshi’s ear. “A compromise, perhaps motivation. Perform your best next time and my lips…” he reached up to press his thumb against Hitoshi’s bottom lip.

“Will touch yours,” he smirked before stepping away, but Hitoshi was shocked. Tenya...said he’d kiss him if he did better? He swallowed and hesitantly looked at the other, “Are we in agreement?” Tenya asked as he held his hand out, waiting for Hitoshi to shake it. Though he only stared at that offered hand, part of him wondered if Tenya was lying, or if he believed that this means of a kiss would truly motivate him. Either way, Hitoshi didn’t have anything to lose.

He’d still have to put his all into training to catch up with the other students, but even so. It was almost as if Tenya was cheering him on, after all, he was the only student that cared enough to try and speak to Hitoshi after what had happened. He took a deep breath and finally grabbed Tenya’s hand. “Deal,” he said with a nod, which seemed to make Tenya happy.

“Very well, I look forward to your future performance,” he said before returning to the fellow cadets, Hitoshi watched the one he admired walk away before he reached up to touch his forehead. A smile came, he’d get that kiss next time. But for now, he’d have to find Recovery Girl. His ankle needed some healing.

#shiiida #shinsou x iida #bnha bookclub #iida x shinsou #tenya x hitoshi

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ihavenobread · 5 years ago

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hello um?? ur like the only one im not too anxious to ask rn so sorry if ur not the best person to come to but how do you suggest i start watching n getting into hermitcraft?? and what would i need to know before starting,,

of course anon!! i’m kind of out of the hermitcraft fandom bc of stuff but i defiantly got some tips and tricks to help you out! also sorry i was a bit delayed in answering this, i have no excuse except that i am a lazy bitch.

I’m 1000% suggesting you to start with season 6, since that’s where the fandom is at right now, but, hey, I can’t control you.

At this point, you’re going to be watching at least 30 episodes to get caught up with one of the hermits because of how long season 6 has been going on for. A lot of people would suggest to start at the hermitcraft recap, and while I love the recap to death, it doesn’t seem like a very good way to get into hermitcraft. I’m going to suggest you start with watching and catching up with one of the hermits, and if you’re hungry for more content, then go check out the recap. This is because you at least have a foot hold in what exactly is going on in hermitcraft instead of all these names flying at you in rapid speed without much time to process.

I personally started with Grian because i binge watched his build swap and evo series and was hungry for more content. I basically suggest to everyone who wants to get into hermitcraft to start with him because 1.) he is the most recent hermit to be added and watching him from the start doesn’t mean going back into years of content and 2.) because his videos are more... edited? i’m not sure how to describe it except for that it caters to people with shorter attention spans by being much more to the point. He rarely does any kind of grinding in his videos so it cuts out the bits that could become boring to some. I’m not bashing any of the hermits who do grind on camera, i love all of these funky crafters, but it’s understandable that not everyone is into that stuff. But, he does have 80 videos of hermitcraft at the moment of me writing this, which is defiantly not the most, but there are people with less.

If you watch Grian, you’ll most likely branch off to some other hermits he collabed with, which is what happened to me and the majority of others who watch Grian.

If you’re looking for someone with a whole lot less content of season 6, I would suggest Zedaph. Zedaph has 32 videos and uploads kind of sporadically? It seems like he tries to do it at least once of week, but with no set day and he misses weeks. He’s a really funny guy and is really wholesome to watch? I would 100% suggest him for anyone who just wants to dip their toes into hermitcraft.

These are the two people who I always suggest starting with for those reasons? I know people suggest every single hermit, but it can get over whelming so I go with these based on how I got into hermitcraft.

There also is a little but of lore for hermitcraft? But nothing that you REALLY need to know when starting- I sure as hell didn’t know. But! I will link some helpful video/short explanations for things that will probably pop up :o!

The Convex/Concorp is a business(?) run by two members of the server named GoodtimeswithScar and Cubfan135. This group was started back in season 5, but there’s nothing really to know except that their icon is the Vex (a mob found in the forest mansions). They also had a chapel, created by fellow member Welsknight, which they stole and turned into a shrine to High Priest of the Vex, Mr. Wololo - an illusioner which they “tamed” but putting a piece of glass in his head to prevent him from seeing. Wow, i just realized how brutal that sounds, even with context.

Currently, they are the capitalist overlords of the server, having shops for basically everything and being the richest on the server.

The New Hermit Order (the nHo) is another group created in season 5. You won’t really hear much about them unless you watch Docm77. This was a group that claimed a huge jungle biome and consisted of Docm77, Ethoslab, Vintage Beef, and BdoubleO.

I can’t really offer much of an explanation from season 5 since I’ve only seen a couple episodes and I haven’t really been motivated to watch it, so sorry about my bare bones explanation.

Here is an explantation by the Recap boys which provide so much more context than I ever could about the nHo.

There’s also Worm Man - the server’s resident superhero in season 5, who hasn’t really been seen in season 6. You can see him in Zedaph’s season 5 videos with a little pink mask in the top right corner of the thumbnail.

Evil Xisuma is the edgy oc of Xisumavoid. Xisuma is one of original hermits on the server along with Joe Hills (who is still active this season) and Biffa2001 (who is no longer active this season, but will most likely rejoin back in season 7). Evil X’s goal is to destroy the hermitcraft server, which he keeps failing at because he literally not hurt a fly. Who let this child have eyeliner and an edge lord complex.

Here is a playlist of all the times Evil X has made an appearance.

The rest of the “lore” you will learn just by watching season 6 so I’m not going to really talk about it.

So I hope this explanation helps anon!! I’ve defiantly missed stuff, but I feel like I’ve helped?? Hopefully?????

HERE is a link to the official hermitcraft website which lists all the members, both active and inactive.

LAST MINUTE EDIT!!!

I forgot about the amazing flow chart that was created. It helps you find some hermits to watch if you’re looking for more to watch!

HERE it is, it’s so fucking amazing I applaud the creator of this because this shit is so fucking nice

And that’s all I have to say! Thanks for coming to my TedTalk

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foxwatchesanime · 4 years ago

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How I stopped caring about comments: A rambly post by me

This is rambly so hold onto your seats, I apologies.

I’ve been thinking a lot about comment/review culture in the last few months, particularly after returning to a brand new fandom as a writer and regular content creator. Maybe this is something I’ve been thinking about for a while, maybe not, but I wanted to share my thoughts on the way I perceive comments, how it’s changed for me since I’ve been in fandom and I’d love to hear from other people what their opinion is and how they relate to comments on their work.

I’ve been creating content in fandom spaces for about eleven years now. I started out on YouTube when I joined my first fandom, Merlin, and I made my first fanvideos in 2009. In December of 2009, I published my first fanfiction, plus one sequel which remains unfinished as well as a few other smaller projects. In October of 2010, I published my first podfic and would go on to publish two more. My focus in fandom had always been YouTube, where I regularly created fanvideos. My schedule was never consistent, as with most vidders back in the day, but I’d be comfortable in saying I posted regularly discounting three unintentional hiatuses, one in 2013 following the Merlin finale, one in 2015 probably due to a lack of inspiration and one in 2017 after what I was sure was going to be my permanent comeback to YouTube, only for my hard drive to break and delete all my footage yeeeeeey.

I’ve now made an actual, official return to my original platform, this time creating videos for my new passion and fandom: anime. Since February of 2020 I’ve also been regularly publishing fic and have no desire to stop doing so. I’m thoroughly invested in new fandom spaces again and am engaging with its fans and the content.

But the one thing I have seen change drastically in my approach to things is commenting, following and general engagement.

Let’s take a step back.

When I first started posting content, comments were not something I even had in my consciousness. I think I knew YouTube comments existed, but I didn’t really pay attention to it. I didn’t even know what subscribers were until I started hearing other people talk about them and then I suddenly felt like it’s something I should be keeping an eye on myself.

In a centuries old vlog of mine that is now private on my channel, I noticed that when I hit 100 subscribers, I made a video thanking everyone because I was so excited that with more subscribers, I was going to “make more friends.” Oh dear xD

But the truth is, I have been consistently and chronically bad at keeping up with or caring about the analytics of my various platforms. It wasn’t till writing this post today that I went to check my FF.net account to see how many comments my first two Merlin fics ever got. I still couldn’t tell you my exact number of YouTube or Ao3 subscribers, how many hits or kudos my fic have and I don’t think I’ve ever checked my bookmarks for notes, or whatever you’re able to leave on there.

Commenting culture on YouTube, for all my joking earlier, was primarily about connection, at least back then. Most of the old guard have moved on and those who have remained are now vidding in other fandoms. The social aspect of YouTube in my opinion has changed dramatically since I was at my peak output on there, but I remember how interactive the comments sections used to be. They literally were, where you made friends.

A couple of years ago, me and a friend of mine started a Merlin podcast called Merlisten. We created it for fun and without many expectations of what might come out of it. And it was this that changed my relationship with commenting for good.

Doing Merlisten felt, for the first time in a long time, like pure creativity and passion without anyone’s permission. We always encouraged people to leave feedback as one does, but I don’t think either of us expected to get much, if any. Even considering the incredible support we’ve received with feedback coming in almost every single episode now, there is still a clear and overwhelming gap between the amount of comments given to an episode of Merlisten, to one of my old fanvids or fics. It’s even more interesting when one considers how much more effort and time went into creating Merlisten compared to say, editing or writing, at least for me personally. The amount of man hours spent on creating one 2.5 hour episode from pre-production to final posting often outweighs any other video or chapter I’ve created. Not always, but often.

What struck me as interesting, however, was that even though comments weren’t always consistent and I always love and continue to love reading them, it’s not what was fuelling me to work hard on this project. I was doing it because I adored it and I knew it was something I was proud to put into the world.

And that literally changed everything.

I think for a long time, I was always trying to cater my art to what might get the most attention or please the widest demographic of people. It’s how you think when you’re young and you don’t know any better. But for the first time, I was creating something on my own terms that I had no idea if anyone would even listen to and the actual creative process of making said art was ten times more rewarding than any single comment I could ever read. Which really, what I realised, is what art is supposed to be. I can safely say that if Merlisten didn’t get a single comment from here on in, I would still want to see it to its conclusion for one very simple reason: Because I had something to share.

This brings me to my recent return to writing fic in fandom and it’s not a decision I’ve regretted for a second. More than anything, I’ve realised how personal art can really be, especially when it’s in writing. I’ve found it revealing and cathartic and fascinating in a way that I didn’t ever imagine.

But more importantly, I’ve realised that the real beauty for me in engaging in art is the ability to get an emotional response from it or to relate to it. And that goes for both other people’s work and my own. I can feel just as invested in my own work as someone else’s and that’s not because I think my work is amazing, it’s because I know it’s come from something that was living in me. When I put something out there that I made with my own two hands, that feeling now trumps any sort of feedback I could possibly get and that’s the endorphin I live off.

Don’t mistake this for me not liking comments, that’s obviously not true. My brain gets the same dopamine hit as anyone’s when I get a notification for something or other, but I’ve realised that I have a very specific relationship with comments that I definitely didn’t have before, if my requests for review on FF.net is anything to go by.

Now, what I find exciting and thrilling is the thought that, if writing this fic got this sort of emotional response out of me, the writer, I wonder if there are other people out there who think the same way I do? Who have a similar way of experiencing joy or suffering or humour or who like the same things as me? That, is an insanely invigorating feeling. And then when someone chooses to take time out of their day to tell you that what came from your head is the same sort of way they feel about life? That’s not a comment, that’s not feedback, that’s a connection you have with another person. And that’s where I start to get excited. And it’s taken me this fucking long to realise it.

Honestly, I was really worried upon returning to writing and vidding this year that my experience working in digital marketing, where everything is about numbers and social media is all about engagement and nothing else, that I would be overwhelmed and not be able to switch off the part of my brain that’s been trained to think like that. I’m so relieved that that’s not the case.

As previously mentioned, I suck at giving a shit about analytics and looking at my own stats. I couldn’t give a flying fuck. But I did just go and check my YouTube videos since returning back to vidding. Not a single one of them has views over 200 at this point. Most have less than 100. My most viewed video on YouTube has 57,000 views. And the thing is, there might have been a time when I looked at that and thought, well, this means I suck. This means I can’t make art. This means there’s no point to it.

But no, that's not true.

The point is not how many people see it, how many people like it, how many people comment on it. The point is that I made it. I’m going to continue making YouTube videos despite the fact that the algorithm will destroy any chances they have at getting engagement or views. Even if not one single person comments on them. Because when I’ve finally rendered a new video, or finished proof reading a new chapter, I feel so fucking happy that everything else is just window dressing to me now.

Because not only is online engagement and following such a stab in the dark these days anyway with algorithms changing and trends moving constantly, but this is the real truth about comments, following and feedback:

The truth is, I don’t need a stranger on the internet to praise me so that I can feel good about my art. The day that I start doing that, I’ve already lost. I used to think that way on a regular basis. Guess what, it didn’t make me produce better art. It didn’t make my life better. Because being validated by others never does. It doesn’t matter how many keysmashes I might get or how many sonnets or kind words, because If I don’t like what I create, there isn’t a single human being on the planet who will make me like it, no matter what they say or how they say it. For others, this might not be the case. But this is my reality.

I know this, because I recently speed-wrote and published a fic for a fanweek. I wrote 13k in about 8hrs. So far, it’s received nothing but positive words. But it doesn’t matter. After I published it, I had a crisis about how it wasn’t good enough, that there should have been an extra arc, that it ended too quickly, that there wasn’t a climax. Even as the comments came in, it didn’t change my mind. Because other people’s comments will never really lead to fulfilment.

I want you all to know that I get emotional over every single comment that is sent to me. Every personal story, ever keysmash and heartfelt thoughtful message that took the time to analyse my work. Connecting with you guys has been one of the biggest joys of entering this fandom. But it’s not going to be what fuels me to create and to carry on doing the best work I can. All I can do is treat it as the wonderful privilege that it is, and not any part of the reason I do it.

In conclusion:

Finally, at age 27 and in the midst of enjoying fandom after a very long period of being either meh about it or lurking, I finally feel content with the fact that I want to create in order to put things out into the world that I worked hard on, that I’m passionate about and that hopefully, in whatever way it might be, it might have touched someone who feels the same things too. It makes me feel accomplished, it makes me feel like I might be contributing something small to the world and it makes me feel like maybe one other person was made happy by it. And even if they never tell me that and if no one else ever comments on what I create, or even if they comment on it in spaces that I never see; private servers, chats between friends or blogs that I don’t follow, that’s also fine. Because there’s always at least one person who is going to feel happy that she made something. And that’s me.

The short version: I never used to care about comments, then I did, and now I no longer do.

Sorry for the ramble, but I wanted this here for myself to look back upon in case my opinion ever changes on this or I ever start to lose my way again and feel overwhelmed. I’d love to hear your guys’ experiences with this sort of thing and whether you’ve ever felt bogged down by the need for feedback.

#writing #fandom #vidding #essay #personal

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