#where did life go
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Them: You better not be the zesty ahh sunman when i come
Me:
#doctor nowhere#jeppy the sunman#where did life go#silas orion#analog horror#fan art#artwork#traditional art#art
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Literally what the hell was Session 5 lol
#wlsmp#wlsmp spoilers#life series#trafficblr#mcyt#grian#mumbo jumbo#jimmy solidarity#martyn inthelittlewood#goodtimeswithscar#desert duo#3rd life#art#my art#ink does minecraft art tag#you can see where the brainrot really started taking a hold of me. i did not intend to fully color the 3rd one lol#designs being made up as i go ofc not entirely sold on a lot of things#getting into the life series right before wild life started either the greatest decision i've ever made or the worst mistake of my life#1k
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do you remember
#wild life smp#wild life spoilers#desert duo#grian#goodtimeswithscar#my art#white knuckles on the kitchen sink. ofc they both remember scar goodtimes im going to end you. that line lives in my head rent free#IM. KINDA STRUGGLING WITH ART BLOCK BUT IM FIGHTNG IT OUGHHHHHHH THERE IS NO COMPOSITION THIS COMPOSITION IS ASS!!!!!#also anyone wanna guess if i did this in procreate or ibis first then ported it into the other one LMAOOOOOO#these mfs i swear#also hi adding a sneaky tag back in. their hands are placed where their trinkets for each other I draw them with in 3l used to be ;3
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Big fan of when a character's grief/trauma/guilt manifests as physical symptoms. Big fan of characters keeping things so tight inside them that it makes them sick. Big fan of when the line blurs between a character's mental trauma and physical illness until it's hard to tell which is which anymore.
#whump#k once i did a fic where a character had pneumonia#and also was in Big Mental Distress and mentally going over all the people he'd lost in his life etc#and i gotta say i'm proud of myself for bringing up the recurrent motif of his chest being pianful...like is it from being sick & coughing#or bc he's grieving so badly it's putting him in physical pain#ANYWAY
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i love you royal trio (minus akechi)
#i was listening to the world we knew by frank sinatra while drawing this to inflict maximum emotional damage 😔#royal actually shot me fifty times in the chest and slaughtered my entire family#i’m actually inconsolable over the ending what the fuck do you mean akechi chooses to die of his own volition rather than be manipulated#god it’s just. his character actually makes me violent and insane. they’re going to drag me kicking and screaming to the psych ward#he never had an ounce of control over his life. not even once. he was CONSTANTLY being yanked around like a marionette#until he was disposed of as another pawn in shido’s plan#and then out of some cruel irony he was resurrected even though he did not want to be alive#for once in death he would have found peace—only for that to be taken from him too.#and bc he thinks he’s worthless and his life is so easily gambled away he doesn’t view it as a major dealbreaker when maruki brings it up#“do you really think something as trivial as my life should stand in the way of your decision?” yes you fucking asshole#what do you mean he’s literally fated to die in every timeline? definition of doomed by the narrative#there’s not a single version of his story that doesn’t end with him being slaughtered#GODDDDD he makes me violently ill i hate goro akechi so much he’s so fucking selfish HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE THAT THIS DEAL IS TEARING ME APART#i was so tempted to get the bad ending just so that he was alive ☹️#he looked so happy. he was surrounded by people who loved and treasured him.no shido. control over his life. the ability to choose his futu#TEARS IN MY EYES MARUKI WAS THE ONLY VILLAIN WHO WAS LOWKEY MAKING SENSE 😭😭😭😭😭#my toxic trait is that i think maruki was right all along 😔#ALSO SUMIRE AAUUGGHHHH 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#the survivors guilt literally eating her alive until the point where she gaslighted herself into thinking she was her sister. insane.#royal was so good bro i’m so glad i endured 200 hours of hell just to play it#terrible terrible ending with everyone going their separate ways and ren ending up in juvie for months#akechi actually being dead in the good ending is so fucked up 😭😭 i thought there was some way maruki could bring him back regardless#not ren hallucinating him in the last cutscene too 😭😭😭😭 “i still see your shadows in my room” ahh ending#persona 5 royal#persona 5#ren amamiya#akira kurusu#sumire yoshizawa#goro akechi#lotus draws
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Burning Rotten Bridges
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#mianmian#nie mingjue#jin guangyao#JGY is nothing but outwardly calm and carrying on his duties as the chair for the meeting#but in that small pause after Nie Mingjue commemorates Mianmian for leaving...you can feel the tension.#Because Nie Mingjue comes from a place of privilege. He's always been in a position where his legitimacy and political standing-#-were never challenged. He didn't have to fight for respect. He was born into this world respected.#For people like Mianmian and JGY who clawed their way up from the bottom...this is a huge deal.#Truth be told I have a lot of things to say about what it means and feels to be in a position where leaving is messy.#There are times where the situation is bad but to leave means that those years of your life will have been for nothing.#That all the other suffering incurred will be fruitless. So you just *keep going*. Because it *has* to be worth it.#Because going back to what you were before is even more terrifying than the hell you are boiling in.#My concrete example for this is post-grad academia.#Because that cohort will have spent over a decade pursuing a goal and leaving means...well...it means throwing away those years.#It means losing (likely nearly all) your connections. It means going into debt you'll never pay off.#It means putting up with some pretty heinous abuse from your supervisor because what are you suppose to do? Leave?#Leaving is for those with the privilege to have options.#And even if you do have options...#Ultimately we would rather love the pain we know than risk the unknown. Hoping it's worth it one day.#With that mindset established; never say JGY should have just left like Mianmian. He couldn't. This was what he dedicated his life to.#He never had the option. Even if it seemed like he did - no he did not. He never conceived this ending ever happening for himself.
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can’t help but think of how, if we choose to go by sirius’ characterisation as a private, arrogant teen who only lets a select few into his circle, sirius’ post-azkaban life just have been such an utterly humiliating experience for him.
especially OoTP. when he has all these near strangers in his childhood house, that he hated and loved and ran away from and couldn’t ever escape. if he spent his entire pre-azkaban existence building a cold and aloof persona, not letting people know what his home life had been like, then to have all of these people get a front row seat to it because of kreacher and portrait walburga’s shenanigans must have been near unbearable. to have the entire order, including snape whom he disliked and mistrusted, hear the kinds of names he’s being called.
not only does he have to deal with the retraumatisation of his childhood, but also the fact that he’s flayed open for everyone to see. it’s not only his freedom, innocence, dignity that has been snatched from him but his privacy also. it’s such a cruel thing to experience, on top of everything else.
to have literal children, his godson who he has been kept away from all this while, whom he presumably wants to be able to look up to him, to have him see into the deepest parts of his soul. to have to be so weak in front of him. not only is he subjected to such vileness but he also cannot do anything about it.
sirius has not had a moment of peace in all the time we knew him. it is indignity upon indignity that is heaped onto him. every other character has gotten a moment of respite but him. it fully breaks my heart.
#sirius black#i am in the mood to sob tonight clearly#i just#was reading a fic#where it recounted walburga ad kreacher’s screams and taunts#and it suddenly hit me how humiliating they are?#like#even if it’s an inanimate object and a house elf#to be called an embarrassment and shame of my flesh and filth#by the only remaining members of your family#and to have it be traced back to your family#to know that your mother was alive but did not care that u were in azkaban#and that everyone else knows it too now#to walk around in every corner of your childhood house and be able to see exactly how u grew up#no boundaries no limits#to have other people keep touching parts of your family with the audacity to throw them out#and move it around#to call your home names#i just. cannot imagine.#the level of helplessness he was operating with#is it really any wonder he was the way he was#hell. he was actually so much better than he should’ve been#lesser men would’ve been catatonic or going off on a rage fuelled warpath#it’s so embarrassing to have your parent even correct u in front of friends sometimes#and to hear all this abuse. shouted at you.#and not one person ever stands up for him#or shows him any empathy#i’m actually amazed that even after all these years i’m able to find new tragedies in sirius life#HAS THAT MAN NOT BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH#pen’s notes
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got an urge to design ponies oops
#If people like this I'll do the rest of the life cast... No cutiemarks though cause Im really bad at those#geminitay fanart#pearlescentmoon fanart#jimmy solidarity#martyn inthelittlewood#scott smajor fanart#zombiecleo fanart#bdubs fanart#ethoslab fanart#impulse fanart#joel smallishbeans#he was difficult lol. I tried all sorts of green + brown (sometimes borderline red) colors but none felt quite right#so I just. made both the body and hair both green and brown. I think theres definitely a better design to be had here but I did my best#ldshadowlady fanart#Impulse ofc mostly inspired from that one skin where he has a beard#seeing people do fan designs for lifers is the only thing that gave me the urge to draw this#I wanted to see how much the colors could be played around with without making the ponies unrecognizable#and also like. pleasant to the eye. Again as if they could fit into the show itself#there arent a lot of skin toned ponies walking around equestria for a reason... it's uncanny unfortunately#that often makes fan ponies all follow the exact scame scheme of light body + dark hair#they get really indistinguishable so go wild!!!! mix things up!!!#sorry Im passionate about animal character design and ponies#tubby art
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i've taken to drawing AW2 culinary crimes whilst i am beaten unconscious by art block. bon appetit
#alan wake#alan wake 2#aw2 spoilers#tim breaker#remedy games#shitpost#my art#fanart#alan wake fanart#due credit to the sicko on reddit that actually did the 3rd picture#i also realise now nobody outside of the uk eats pickled mussels lol#i see all these recipes with spices n shit WRONG 2 ingredients mussels + malt vinegar#drink the vinegar#contemplate where you went wrong in your life#where was i going with this
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day 274/547 until joon returns
#btsgif#btsedit#bts#kim namjoon#namjoon#*#*gifs#*knj#*bts#*547nj#Where is BTS going (Hint RM’s comeback trailer)#HALFWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#lads i am not going to lie to u i did not think i would get this far considering Life rn#but we did it and no matter what happens i at least got to 50% without missing a day#anyway these have been the longest 274 days of my life it has felt like forever
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korvo lost and farting 0 stars for you my boy
#solar opposites#solaropposites#korvo#tervo#did any of you guys read the interview where they said#they're never going to break up but he's constantly worried that Terry's going to leave him#Yeah.#korvo being so full of self loathing and feeling undeserving of happiness to the point where once he realizes the button was pressed#he was like Ah this makes sense. Surely this life is fabricated and terry doesn’t actually love me nor do i even deserve him#all my suspicions are true!#YEAH. HOLY SHIT.#and terry reaffirming his love for him oughh guys he loves him because he’s lame and stupid CALLBACK TO LOVING THE UGLY PARTS!! HELLO!!#korvo being so desperate in that episode to hold onto his family and his marriage NOT NOW KITTEN DADDY NEEDS A FUCKING CIGARETTE#and terry and korvo still falling in love in the alternate universe They would find each other in every universe bitch#korvo grabbing the what if box and burning his hands like holy hell
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"i dislike the terms tme and tma" why do you dislike terms that are useful for transfems discussing their systematic opression? do you dislike the terms cis, hetero, white, too? you need to understand that tme & tma are not created to make "new binaries" or whatever, theyre for discussing our real material opression. realize how close you are to saying that transmisogyny isnt "real" or that it "affects everyone". do you also think reverse racism exists, or that homophobia or misogyny targets cis hetero men instead of benefitting them? or do you believe in intersectionality until it's about trans women and transfems, then the intersection of misogyny and transphobia basically becomes meaningless? you "dislike" when transmisogyny is brought up, just as existing?
#jeady rambles#transmisogyny#the context btw is that someone said this on a post about a transfem who has been perma banned for being harassed#and basically said this agreeing with her harassers. but saying the harassment & suspensions where too much like no reflection at all there#and what did she the transfem get harassed & perma banned for?#opening up about being abused and threatened with a knife by a tme person in her life#imagining reading that and going 'okay thats fucked up but i still dont like trannies talking about their opression dynamics in society'#fix your heart or die
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I got a really tough question.
What’s your favorite Twst event of ALL TIME?
I like Harveston
this truly is the hardest question. :( but after much consideration, I think Endless Halloween Night wins out for me, because it's nonstop Characters Being Silly the whole way through. the whole thing is just lots of these little dorks having the most ridiculous interactions, which is always my favorite! and of course the big twist is SO delightfully stupid and doubles down SO hard that it becomes AMAZING and I 100% unironically adore it. AND it's Halloween! everyone is in their cute little costumes and having a spooky adventure! it's great!
however, I am ALSO a big fan of the Harveston event! how can I not be! everyone is wearing comfy winter outfits and getting along really weirdly well with Epel's grandma and he's getting a little worried about that! my terrible loud son sews a plush squirrel and then gives it a silly little nickname and refuses to leave it behind when it breaks! the ending shot with the sled! I LOVE IT.
obviously we need the best of both worlds now
#art#twisted wonderland#malleus in the background: RYUU } >:(#(this is an au where sebek wears his own halloween costume and isn't obsessively trying to match with malleus)#(unless malleus is also wearing a patchwork squirrel costume. hold on wait i should've drawn that instead)#my favorite is when people draw sebek's room and have risugurumi just hanging out on his desk or something#SHE GAVE HER LIFE FOR HIM#well she gave her leg or something anyway#it's been a while i forget#anyway endless halloween night also has my favorite cutscene#which is the five second long cutscene that is literally just floyd going OOH WHAT DOES THIS BUTTON DO and then a battle starts#thank you twst#i believe this is also when trey finds out that sebek's dad is a dentist and immediately makes it weird#while rook is just. dancing around and singing opera in the background.#'did...did he hit his head when we fell through the mirror?' 'no he's just like that'#i have to stop or i'm going to end up recounting the entire event#(sorry this took so long!) (i have been back in Deadline Hell)#(i didn't mean to actually answer this on halloween but it kind of worked out! HAPPY HALLOWEEEEEN)
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Grian: OK mumbo for the love of god be really careful resist the impulsive thoughts do NOT get on that strider. Do not do it. You cannot control it and you will get stranded and possibly drown when you dismount. I want you to be safe so do NOT get on the str-
Mumbo: *who got on the strider as soon as he realised it was a possible option* Grian this is your fault.
#secret life#secret life spoilers#trafficblr#life smp#life series#grian#mumbo jumbo#mumbo my beloved what ????#Rare occassion where not only did Gri have the shared braincell he had borrowed Mumbos usual one as well#absolutely no thought great job lmao#also poor Grian he tried so hard to save him he was kept going over his inventory to make sure theres nothing else he would have done#Grian allies curse strikes again!
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When in doubt, Soup it out.
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#a-yuan.#wei wuxian#Yes I am skipping over LWJ's panic at WWX joking about giving birth to A-Yuan. It's funny bit but there are many more to come!#The last time these two sat down together the tensions were so high. The peace is nothing more than a layer of cold fat on the surface.#It's not 'really' them coming to see eye to eye. It's them not having the energy to say what they really want anymore.#LWJ is very defined by his jealousy and the conflict it creates with his need to put his feelings aside for the perceived greater good.#To live a life where you are always second and never ever allowing yourself to be first...#If other people can be at peace and happy - it has to be worth it right?#If he orders a plate of food that he will struggle to eat but is the favourite thing of the person sitting across from him#Is it not worth the sacrifice?#But remember! You can't take anything for yourself ever. No matter how much you want it.#He did it once before and he regrets it so much. So all he can do is accommodate.#And WWX? Well. You can't let anyone in if there isn't enough water to splash around in.#Keep things shallow and they just move on. Even if you'll miss them when they go - this is just how things are now.#No more teasing and trying to pull a reaction from LWJ anymore. You'll never be more than someone he can't stand so what's the point.
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At this point Barney Calhoun is a W.D Gaster type of character to me. The guy was a noticeable part of the narrative and then POOF, was just written out of existence. No screen presence, no off-hand mentions, not even a bit of concept art of him for the last 18 years of the franchise. It's like he never even was there in the first place. Maybe I've missed something in all the leaked versions of hl3 script, but from what I've seen we wouldn't have seen him even if ep3 wasn't cancelled either. I guess it's a fun parallel to Gordon disappearing for 20 years between hl1 and hl2 BUT IM NOT LAUGHING. Im genuinely this close to just imagining Barney having adventures as a character that fell out of the narrative. I swear if we ever see him again its going to be in a secret room where he disappears with a surprised face and mystery sound sfx once you approach him. I hope he is having fun in the void with Adrian Shephard
#half life#im sorry im slowly going insane over here#where the hell did that train took him#I see ya when I see ya my ass#barney calhoun
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