#where as Eddie has and is giving his son all the space and far reaching horizons - endless opportunities

[stagefoureddiediaz]

The Chris and water theming is still making itself known.

It’s making me wonder if that pool is gonna get built and Chris is gonna get into danger in it because Helena isn’t paying attention etc!

[flowercrowngods]

Short (trans?) Eddie floaty existential 4am blue glow starry night rambles please

in which eddie is short, steve is a bit existential, and they’re both very soft and in love at 4am | 1.5k

🤍 also on ao3

“Son of a— Steve!” Eddie calls out, his voice somewhere between a whine and a shout. “I can’t believe you hate-crimed me!”

There is a snort behind him, and if Eddie weren’t busy trying to reach the top of the cabinet, all the way in the back, he would be giving the light of his life the most scratching look. As it is, he glared at the top shelf he can barely reach. That one deserves it, too, so it’s a small win at least.

“I what?”

“Oh, don’t act innocent on me now, Harrington, you know what you did!”

Steps are approaching and then there’s a hand at his back, stabilising him but not at all helping. Eddie scowls harder even though he melts a little at the display of affection. If he were to fall — which only happened three times this month, okay? — Steve would be sure to catch him.

“Enlighten me,” the fucker says, and Eddie does stop his movements now to look down at Steve. Oh, how the tables have turned, huh?

“You put the good stuff where I can’t reach it.” He’s not pouting. Eddie Munson doesn’t pout.

Steve smiles up at him, the absolute asshole, and he looks too fucking endeared and amused by the whole situation. Hate crime!

“Eddie, baby, you told me to put it there. You said you wouldn’t smoke for the rest of the week, remember?”

He huffs and crosses his arms in front of his chest, still very far from pouting. “Okay sure, but since when do we believe what I say?”

“What, so now it’s my fault?” Steve is chuckling, his hand still outstretched, resting on Eddie’s side now, so warm and steady that it takes everything in Eddie’s might not to reach out and take it.

“Course it is, Stevie. I never believed myself in the first place, and now we both have to suffer for it. It’s not my fault I’m pocket sized, but it’s your fault that everything here is made for tall people.”

With a huff, he jumps down from the counter, landing beside Steve who immediately reached out to cover the edge of the kitchen table with his hand. Maybe because Eddie bumped into it too many times on his 4am joyrides to the top shelves and cabinets in the kitchen of the Harrington household.

Eddie always notices these little things Steve does to make sure he’s safe, to make sure he doesn’t hurt himself, and it’s really fucking sweet. Sweet enough to make the dramatics melt away as he steps into Steve’s space and leans up on his tiptoes to kiss his cheek.

It instantly earns him a smile and Eddie brushes another kiss to the corner of Steve’s mouth before finally hitting the jackpot and pressing his lips to Steve’s. All craving for some weed is gone now, replaced by the drug that is loving Steve Harrington, surpassed only by the rush that is being loved by Steve Harrington.

They just stand there and kiss for a moment or two, and when Eddie finally pulls back, feeling properly dazed and high, Steve is still smiling, his eyes closed, swaying and leaning into Eddie.

“For the record,” he says, opening his eyes and pressing another kiss to Eddie’s forehead. “I love that you’re pocket sized.”

Eddie’s breath hitches and he’s a little glad that he didn’t get the weed, because this is much better. “You’re easy, Harrington.”

“Very.”

Eddie hums and wraps his arms around Steve’s middle, just hugging his boyfriend for a while. He has a lot of opinions on being short, but the most important one is that Steve’s chin resting on top of his head is one of life’s best treats yet.

“Do you want me to get the stuff?” Steve asks after a while, sounding calm and sleepy and so incredibly gentle that Eddie knows he could get away with anything right about now.

Maybe that’s why he says, “Nah. Maybe tomorrow. I just wanna lie down with you for a bit, okay?”

“For a bit? Babe, it’s almost sunrise.”

“Well then, until sunrise or something. Just. Just wanna be with you.”

Steve’s arms around him tighten and there’s another kiss to the crown of his head. “You’ve got me.”

They make their way outside, cuddling in one of the pool loungers, Eddie’s head resting on Steve’s chest. Another upside to being the short boyfriend — near infinite cuddling opportunities.

“What are you thinking about,” Steve asks after a while and Eddie takes his hand to play with his fingers. Steve lets him. In fact, he loves it when Eddie does that. They both do.

“Cuddling. Infinite cuddling.”

Steve hums and tilts his head to the side so it can touch Eddie’s. “Infinite cuddling sounds like a wonderful idea in theory, but sometimes the best thing about cuddling is knowing you can let go at any time.”

Eddie lifts his head off Steve’s chest and looks at him. Immediately there is a hand in his hair, stroking it behind his ear and then staying there to cradle is face. Gods, who allowed this boy to be so tender, so gentle, so soft?

“You saying you want to get rid of me?”

“No,” Steve smiles, leaning up briefly for a kiss. “But knowing you’d let me go if I needed to is kind of the best thing. It’s what everything revolves around, you know? Knowing you want me to stay but would let me leave. Just to breathe, just for a minute, but you’d let me. You have let me go. And always let me come back.”

“For more cuddles?”

“For more cuddles.” That smile again. Eddie melts again and lies back down on top of Steve, pressing a kiss to his neck, his collarbone, his heart covered by Eddie’s Dio shirt.

“I would, you know?” he says after a while. “Let you leave. Or go. Or whatever. I think I would give you anything you’d ask at this point, pretty boy. And… it’s a bit terrifying.”

“Oh yeah.” Steve sighs a breathy laugh and wraps his free arm around Eddie a little tighter. “It really is. But it’s worth it. You’re worth it, Eds. I can’t stand it a lot of the time, but then I see you climbing the kitchen counter at four in the morning and all I can think is, yeah, that one. That’s the one.”

“The tiny man with the same insomniac tendencies as you?”

“The tiny man with the same insomniac tendencies as me,” Steve agrees, laughing. “Who will ask to just be with me after spending, like, every day together. Because being together at four a.m. is different. I feel like… Like everything is different at four a.m., like the world has fundamentally changed for an hour or so, but you’re still you. And you still want me. And maybe that counts for something.”

Steve always gets like this. He doesn’t even need weed for it like Eddie does, Steve just starts rambling to his heart’s content in the void hours between 3 and 6 a.m. and Eddie loves to listen. He always does.

“Everything.”

“Hm?”

“I think it counts for everything,” Eddie says. “And I’ll always want to just be with you. You’re easy to be with. Don’t know if I’ve told you that before. But you’re, like, the best person. And I never wanna let you go but I would. I’m weirdly glad that you know I would.”

There’s silence for a bit and Eddie closes his eyes against the slowly brightening sky. Soon the world will be painted in blues and Steve will look so pretty, he doesn’t wanna miss it. But he’s getting sleepy. It’s almost five and everything is the heavy kind of calm and safe, the kind of a weighted blanket resting on you. Steve’s hand is still in his hair, running through it, combing his curly mane, leaving a smile on Eddie’s lips.

“And what are you thinking about now, pretty?”

Steve’s hand stops for a second and his heart picks up it’s pace.

“Just thinking that I love you, Eddie Munson.”

Eddie lifts his head again now, looking down at Steve, tracking his pretty eyes, his perfect face, his stupid little wonderful smile.

“Good,” he whispers that. “Keep thinking that.”

Steve’s smile widens and he brushes Eddie’s hair away from his eyes again.

“Don’t think I could stop.”

And Eddie kisses him. Because if he doesn’t, he might explode, and the rest of the world right along with him. He kisses and kisses and kisses Steve Harrington until the world is awake enough for them to finally fall asleep.

[ghosttownwherenoonegoes]

For @munsons-maiden; I don't know what this is or where it came from. It just came into my head while you and I were reblogging that Freud shirt and I immediately sat down and got to typing. Figured I'd dedicate it to you, because it means something in our conversation inspired me. Thank you for being you. Interacting with you makes every day better.💕

Summary: ??? Eddie comfort ???? Our baby gets soaked in the rain and you help him because he's too lost in his thoughts. GN!READER

TW; swearing, heavy rain, Eddie's body is in the trailer but his mind is far away (not quite dissociation, more like really lost in thoughts), nicknames (sweetheart, honey, baby and maybe others), Wayne & Eddie indirect interactions, comfort and fluff. This is gonna be sweeter than the chocolate cupcakes I just treated myself to.

Word count: 789.

Eddie stands just beyond the doorway of the trailer, rain dropping off the end of his nose. His clothes are soaked through, his leather jacket heavy and thick against his skin, trapping his body heat where it is. His denim vest is almost black in the heavy saturation, his curly hair lays limp in thick dark tendrils down his face and about his shoulders.

He stares into space, seeing the copious mugs and hats which decorate the furthest walls, but he doesn't see them. Not the Garfield mug which usually makes him smile with nostalgia, not the bright red caps which Wayne favours in the summer time, not even the homemade bright yellow 'best son' mug which Wayne gifted Eddie a few years ago.

Eddie just stands and stares.

"... Eddie?"

He turns his head slowly, eyes still a little glazed over. "Y-yeah, hi." He frowns, clears his throat, and looks at you, his gaze a tiny bit clearer now. "Hey, sweetheart."

"Uhh... are you...?" Your hesitance to approach him is what breaks Eddie out of his silent reverie and he physically shakes himself off like a dog, water droplets spraying everywhere. "Long day?" All you receive from Eddie is a slow nod. You haven't seen Eddie like this for a while and you're not quite sure what to do to help him, but then it occurs to you that maybe Eddie doesn't know how to help himself, either. His mind may be able to picture what to do, but actually carrying his tired body through his routine is a different thing. Which is where you come in.

How many times have you been in the position of having to face yourself at the end of a long, hard day and Eddie has wordlessly helped you, somehow knowing what you need without you having to say a word?

It seems that you're lost in your own thoughts too, because your hands are on either side of the collar of Eddie's leather jacket before you even fully realise that you have moved. He meets your eyes with a small, soft smile, too tired is he to give you much of anything, but he tries because you're you and Eddie will do anything for you. Including giving you essence from an almost empty cup.

You smile back at him and begin to ease both his leather jacket and his denim vest off his shoulders. Eddie makes a soft noise in the back of his throat which sounds very much like relief soaked in love; you're helping him without him needing to ask because you know him so well. He tips his head forward so he can nuzzle the cold tip of his nose into the warm crook of your neck. Wet tendrils of hair stick to you but you don't wince. It's Eddie. "You're so warm," he mumbles, pressing clumsy kisses to any scrap of skin he can reach.

"You'd be warmer if you got out of these clothes, honey," kisses are pressed to his wet curls, the smell of rain masking the scent of him. "You're soaked. Gonna get sick if you stay here like this."

Eddie shrugs but you know he cares. No matter how tired or upset or angry he is, a part of Eddie always cares. If he held his heart in his hands, the heat of all the love he holds within would burn him. To prompt him into getting in the shower, you step away from him, which only makes Eddie whine as he steps back into you while also pulling you closer. It's a collision of hearts as much as it is bodies. He's been without you all day and now he's home, you're stepping away from him. A part of him wants to pout, but you seem to read his mind and encourage him to sort himself out again, "quicker you shower, the quicker we can cuddle!"

You can feel the heat of him even through how wet his clothes are, and how damp your own are. You can get changed while Eddie's showering - these were freshly put on, but you will never pass up a chance to hold Eddie.

"Promise, baby?" This time, he does pout, and you kiss him, once, twice, thrice, four times, because once is never enough for either of you. He's so tired and so are you and the both of you just want to rest. But only with each other; home is where the heart is, and you both followed yours to here.

"Pinky."

You shake your pinkies to seal the promise, and ten minutes later, you have yourself an Eddie sized koala on top of you.

So, really, ten minutes later, you have it all.

eddie baby @eddiebunson @hersweetrevenge @sweetpeapod @sabbathsworld @hawkinsroyaloutcast @seidenbros @bakerstreethound @eddiemunsonshoney @potatos-library @gemstone-roses @hellfire1986baby @jslittlebirdie @comfortcharactercraze @heydreamchild @mywinterivy @corrodedcoffeen @m00nlight101

[aashiqeddiediaz]

94 for the kiss prompts? love you <3

love you most <3 for you, i made this fluff — otherwise i totally had angst on speed dial.

94. untying your lover’s tie, using it to pull your lover into a kiss

[devotion (defined by you) - AO3 Link]

Word Count: 3075 words

Buck’s making a cup of tea when the sound of the lock reverberates into the apartment.

In the silence, the sound echoes with the footsteps of the man behind the door, and without turning to face him, Buck smiles.

“How was it?”

A light string of laughter, pulled from him with the electricity that sparks between them, and then the shuffle of Eddie’s socked feet against the floor. Buck’s own feet are bare, pressing against cold tile that feels like it warms as Eddie gets closer.

“Boring,” he says, leaning back against the counter next to where Buck’s pouring hot water into his mug.

Without being prompted, he reaches for another mug, drops Eddie’s favorite tea bag into it and covers it with hot water. “Yeah?”

In his suit, Eddie cuts a vision against Buck’s countertop, elbows perched behind him and legs crossed at the ankle as he reclines back. The panels of his suit jacket flutter uselessly at his sides, and the deep maroon shirt stretches across his chest until Buck thinks the buttons will pop clean off.

“Never going to one of those things again,” Eddie says, bringing one hand up to loosen his tie. “At least, not without you to keep me company.”

Buck’s eyes linger on the movement before he forces himself to look away from his partner’s strong, tan fingers grasping the knot of the black tie, tugging it loose to hang on his chest while he undoes the top two buttons.

There’s something intimate to that moment, to watch Eddie shed the layers of who he’d just been outside to who he is in a mimic of his home, with his son snoring lightly in the background. The yearning that roots in Buck’s chest only delves deeper at the notion, a stray drop rippling across the waves of an ocean.

Eddie folds his suit jacket carefully to place over the far end of the breakfast bar, and this time, Buck doesn’t look away when he starts rolling the cuffs of his shirt up. He can feel Eddie’s eyes on him as he watches the menial task be done in Eddie’s deft way, but Buck simply lets himself look back, knowing that he’s felt the burn of Eddie’s gaze on the small sliver of skin exposed by his T-shirt from the moment he entered.

He isn’t the only one looking, and that in itself lights the flame in his chest.

“You insisted on it,” he smiles instead, pressing the warm mug into Eddie’s hand. “Why would I go with you when I can hang out with my little buddy at home?”

He’s not as dressed up — truth be told, Buck had tossed on an old pair of pajamas right before Eddie dropped Christopher off, and he’s still clad in them. An old tattered T-shirt Eddie left here last year and a pair of sweatpants held up precariously by a hasty knot in the drawstring are all he has to show for himself.

Eddie arches a brow as he straightens. “No, your little buddy insisted I attend because it was a fundraiser for an animal charity. Where is he, by the way?”

“Knocked out,” Buck replies, pressing his knee into the cabinet right next to Eddie’s. He knows what Eddie’s next words are going to be.

“Miracle worker,” Eddie says — fondly, predictably. An epithet that has followed Buck for years.

Buck resists the urge to engrave the two words into the wall next to his house, the ones Eddie gives him without fail at the end of each time Buck babysits, as if he’s the one working miracles to raise this awesome kid.

He doesn’t say any of it, electing to let the calm of the evening stretch over them in answer instead as he watches Eddie turn back around from checking on his son from afar.

There’s room in the vast space. Buck knows there is. Eddie knows there is. There’s room on the counter itself for them to shift even inches apart so they’re not pressed together hip to toe.

Despite it, they stay pressed together like this with their cups of tea, quietly sharing the moment as the city settles down around them.

Buck studies his best friend over the rim of his mug, studies the ghost of a smile that seems to live on Eddie’s face whenever he’s here. He studies the little triangle of skin that spans from the hollow of his throat to the third button of his shirt, studies the way he’s now perched on one elbow facing Buck while the other holds the mug, studies the ease of his shoulders as he relaxes against the granite.

He studies him like a well-loved book, with his fingertips mapped all over pages, annotations in the margins, folds in the pages with scenes he’s clutched too hard to read over and over. He studies him like the lines of a well-loved poem, reading between them to find the essence of what he’s made of, to find all the things that remain unsaid between them.

And above all, he feels his definition of devotion shift to match the man in front of him, especially when that same man turns to smile at him with the power of a thousand suns.

“You know,” Eddie starts delicately, amusement lightening his features as his head tips to look Buck in the eye. It’s a lazy movement, and reminds Buck of the slow confidence of a man who knows what he wants, of a man who knows he’ll get it. “I got asked where my husband is today.”

Buck can���t help but throw his head back and laugh, only remembering last minute to stifle the sound so Christopher doesn’t wake up. “Yeah? Something you want to tell me, Eddie?”

Eddie huffs out a laugh as he straightens, turning to lean against his counter with both hands on the mug this time, head turned towards Buck as he mock-exaggerates his retelling. “Don’t tell anyone, but I heard from Deborah that my husband is, and I quote, ‘the strapping young hunky blond with guns for days that makes the most divine red velvet cupcakes, the one he refuses to share the recipe for.’”

Parent gossip is the best gossip, in Eddie’s eyes. Buck knows this because his best friend pounces on every little bit he can get his hands on.

But gossip about himself amuses Eddie to no end, and Buck can always see the mirth sparkling in his eyes as he recalls the various things the parents and teachers have said about them. Hearing all the wild rumors about what Buck and Eddie must get up to in their spare time is Eddie’s favorite pastime.

It had taken Buck many, many tries to perfect that red velvet cupcake recipe. He refuses to share it.

“Nothing like a middle-aged mom to boost your ego,” Buck says, clinking his cup with Eddie’s in a mimic of toasting cheers. “That was a lot of adjectives, though. She could’ve streamlined it. Made it a little simpler.”

“Really?” Eddie feigns, eyes lit up with the same playful mischief Buck sees in Christopher all the time — the same one that makes Chris look so much like his father it takes Buck’s breath away. “I thought she could’ve used a lot more. My husband is worth at least three more. At least.”

“You’re a menace,” Buck laughs, sounding far too affectionate to his own ears for the words to hold any weight. “Did you at least raise money for the cause you went there for? Or did you just get more dirt on us?”

Eddie nods. “The dirt is the best, and only fun part of these things. But yeah, definitely. The crowd was pretty rich, with deeper pockets than I thought. Perks of a private school, I guess,” he says. “Are there any red velvet cupcakes, by the way? I want some now.”

“Should be one in the fridge.”

Eddie shifts away to set his mug down, leaving Buck feeling colder with the loss of warmth on his side than with the chill of the fridge. It feels like a pipe dream of sorts, to see Eddie Diaz standing in the middle of his kitchen in a suit rummaging through his fridge, like he comes home like this all the time.

Buck thinks that maybe he does.

It had been easier in the beginning, for both of them to play into the rumors and just let the school — and the gaggle of parents waiting to catch sight of the hot single dad outside pickup — believe that Christopher Diaz has two dads, both of them firefighters to boot.

It had been a good system, but Buck hadn’t expected the rush of jealousy that had flooded him the first time he went with Eddie to drop Chris off.

One of the single parents who couldn’t seem to take no for an answer had made her way over, flipping her hair and touching Eddie’s arm like she had the right to touch him.

The roar in Buck’s ears at the sight had him climbing out of the truck before he’d known what he was doing. Like the Neanderthal he felt like, he had casually wrapped an arm around Eddie’s waist to tug him away as if that was a thing they did every day instead of something born out of the green monster stomping on Buck’s chest.

It had been a little awkward for a minute for the mom who was relentlessly trying to pursue him, but Buck had stood his ground and Eddie had leaned into it. She’d scurried away without a second glance after that.

No one else dares approach Eddie anymore.

In Buck’s eyes, that’s a win.

They play into it, because it gets people off their backs, but at times, they have fun with it, too. Eddie will fling an arm around his shoulders and proudly call him his husband during one of the parent-teacher meetings, and Christopher will happily tug him over to all his friends to introduce him as “his Buck” and Buck’s left watching as his definition of home morphs into the outlines of two people.

It may have started as an inside joke shared between them, relegated to the bounds of Christopher’s school, but it’s rapidly turning into something that’s real, something that’s theirs to claim.

Eddie breaks apart half of the cupcake, passing the shared dessert over to him as he takes his spot again, this time perched on top of the counter. Like this, he looks ruffled, vulnerable — like the universe has never touched him, like Buck’s never tasted his blood, like the streets of this city aren’t soaked in it.

For a long moment, it’s easy to pretend that they’re any other people. Just Buck and Eddie at their core, made up of — yet not defined by — all the other roles that surround them outside this moment. Buck isn’t someone’s brother, uncle, friend, firefighter. Eddie isn’t someone’s father, brother, uncle, friend, firefighter.

Here, Buck is Eddie’s and Eddie is Buck’s.

It’s as good of a moment as any, when Buck decides to cross the near invisible line in the sand.

Buck can’t bring himself to care about the crumbs falling to the ground as he watches Eddie lick the frosting off his fingers. He swallows his bite of cake, washes it down with his tea and steps forward between Eddie’s knees, placing his hands on either side of him against the cool granite.

“Hi,” Eddie smiles, eyes crinkling merrily at the corners as he sets his own mug down. It’s that same confidence again — the gleam in his eye that tells Buck that Eddie’s got him right where he wants him.

Jokes on him, because Buck has been standing right here for months, years.

“Hi,” Buck says, smiling when Eddie’s knees part to make room for him. His thighs bracket Buck’s waist and drag him in closer, and with bone-rattling certainty, Buck knows that they’re finally going to cement what’s been in stone for years.

Eddie’s face doesn’t so much as twitch at their proximity, the lines of his eyes and mouth growing unbearably softer as if to say there you are.

Slowly, he lifts a hand to the loosened tie, feeling the smooth fabric catch and slip on the rough calluses of his fingers as it pulls free. Eddie doesn’t balk at his action, only leans forward as the movement tugs him forward. It’s not until the two ends of the tie are hanging loosely around his neck, still pinned by collar, that Eddie settles his hands on top of Buck’s where they rest on his thighs.

He’s working up the nerve to say something, Buck observes, staying quiet as Eddie’s thumbs work absent circles into the back of his hands. There’s something between the lines of that action too, where Eddie seeks the quiet comfort of Buck’s presence as he works through the buzz in his head.

“We’re doing this, right?” he settles on finally, the first wrinkle of fear creasing his brow.

Buck understands that fear— the same fear pounds through his veins even though he was the first to move. There’s a lot to lose by putting his bleeding heart on the line, but Eddie’s done it since there’s nobody in this world I trust with my son more than you and this is Buck, my partner and a million times in between and after.

The least Buck can do, is show Eddie that he’s been standing right there with him, for all this time and beyond it.

“Haven’t we been doing it?” Buck asks quietly.

His gaze moves past Eddie’s shoulder towards where Christopher’s bundled into thick blankets, sleeping peacefully on the air mattress along the far wall.

Eddie’s hands drift up his arms to link behind his neck instead, the shadows disappearing from his gaze as he grins. “Yeah, I guess we have.”

Buck moves to grip the center of Eddie’s tie, using the hold to drag his best friend closer.

There’s a freckle, right under Eddie’s left eye. Buck’s gaze drifts back to it time and time again as he studies the open affection on Eddie’s face, the uplifted curve of his full lips as he smiles. There’s not a stitch of concern on his face for what they’re about to do, his confidence a tangible presence between them that finally gives Buck the courage to move.

He presses a soft kiss to the mark that somehow only accentuates the planes of his face, and feels Eddie’s eyelashes brush his skin as his eyes shutter closed.

A startled sigh leaves him, like he hadn’t expected Buck to do something so intimate, like he hadn’t expected to be treated like someone to be cherished, but Buck can feel Eddie’s cheeks bunch as the smile grows, and feels his own heart flip in response.

They stay together like that for a long moment, drawn out with the history that stretches between them — the map that finally led them here, to each other.

“Buck,” Eddie whispers.

The tie is still clenched tight in his hands, and Buck uses the leverage to finally drag his best friend into the last first kiss of their lives.

There are sparks skittering across his skin and butterflies making a home in his stomach but above all, Buck feels his universe right itself to revolve around this moment right there.

Eddie kisses like he does everything else — with an unparalleled precision. His hands land on Buck’s waist, and it’s easy as anything to keep moving with each other.

Buck licks the taste of chocolate and affection from Eddie’s mouth and Eddie chases the taste of sugar and love from his. He lets the tie go, his fingers finding purchase on the collar before drifting into the short cropped hair on the sides of Eddie’s head.

It takes nothing for him to card his fingers through the soft strands at the back of Eddie’s head, trying to get as close as possible, short of everything but crawling under his partner’s skin. Eddie presses just as close, his palms sliding up the old T-shirt to cup Buck’s neck and deepen the kiss.

It feels like forever and always rolled into a single kiss, and Buck can’t stop his lips from curling up until he’s smiling too hard for them to properly kiss. Eddie matches him for it, placing a single, soft kiss against Buck’s birthmark before tilting their foreheads together.

“Hi,” Eddie says again, laughter evident in his voice.

Buck feels the joyful sound wrap around him, feels the mirth in Eddie’s voice like an old sweater, cozy and comforting and home .

“Hi, Eddie,” Buck returns, pulling back so he can look him in the eye. Eddie leans in to kiss him one more time before his hands drop down to where Buck’s shirt has ridden up, a thumbnail scraping across the sensitive skin of his waist.

There’s never been any escaping what Eddie means to him, but feeling what he means to Eddie is a whole other ball game. There’s a reverence in every way Eddie touches him, a worship to the way his hands splay across his skin without expectation for any more than what Buck’s giving.

It’s never felt like that before — like all Eddie wants to do is stay in the circle of Buck’s arms without moving. Buck’s never felt this settled before.

He should want to hesitate. He should want to wait to put those three words out there for Eddie, knowing that what he’s putting on the line isn’t something he can ever afford to lose.

But then, Buck ghosts his lips across Eddie’s cheek, and Eddie hums a happy sound from his throat — content under Buck’s ministrations — and suddenly, there’s no choice left to be made.

The words leave his mouth in a breathless whisper, only a fraction of the ardent devotion Eddie shows him because the rest is tattooed over Buck’s soul in varying shades of every color of the sky.

“I love you.”

He doesn’t know what to expect when he puts the words out there, but Eddie pulls him closer, lips landing somewhere near his temple as they embrace. Buck relaxes into his hold, loosely wraps his arms around Eddie’s waist and tucks his face into his partner’s neck.

When the answer comes, it’s with no hesitation at all.

“I love you, too.”

[thisissirius]

writing this on my phone because it’s how i roll

breathe eddie/buck, THAT CLIP

Buck gets the call while he’s at work. 

It’s from the hospital and he’s hitting answer before he’s really thought about it. “Hello?”

“Mr. Buckley?”

“Yeah,” Buck says breathlessly, and he knows they have to confirm, but he just needs to know what’s going on. 

“My name’s Maria and I’m calling because we have an Edmundo Diaz who’s been admitted.”

Buck says, “Eddie,” and then realises what she’s saying. “Is he okay? What happened?”

Heads around the room pick up, but Buck ignores them, focusing back on Maria, who’s tone has softened. “Mr. Diaz was brought in with a suspected heart attack,” Buck can’t breathe, presses a hand to his chest and thinks no, please, not after, “—and his son is here.”

“Oh,” Buck feels adrift. “I’ll be right there?”

“Perfect,” Maria says, as if Buck’s not ignored most of what she’s said. “I’ll see you soon, Mr. Buckley.” 

Buck hangs up the phone, meets Bobby’s eyes slowly. “That was the hospital—Eddie’s been admitted and I need to see him, I have to get there.”

“Alright,” Bobby says slowly. “Call me, you understand?”

Already moving towards the stairs, Buck nods, mind stuck on a loop of heart attack, heart attack, heart attack.

_______________________

“It was a panic attack,” Ana informs him in the waiting room. 

Buck ignores her, not meaning to be rude, but Chris is there and he’s sat in a chair like he’s trying to get smaller, so Buck pulls him into a hug and lets Chris cry, face tucked into Buck’s neck. 

Sitting down next to them, Ana reaches over, touches Chris’ shoulder. “It’s just a panic attack.”

It’s not just a panic attack, Buck wants to snap. He keeps the words trapped behind his teeth, tells Chris he’s gonna find out where Eddie is, and dodges the hand Ana tries to catch him with. “What?”

“Eddie doesn’t want to see anyone—”

“I don’t care,” Buck says, crouching down in front of Chris. “You stay with Miss. Flores okay? I’ll be right back.”

Chris rubs at his face and Buck waits for him to readjust his glasses. “Promise?”

Holding out his pinky, Buck looks serious. “I promise.”

Following the Buckley secret promise, Chris hooks their little fingers together. 

_______

Leaning against the doorjamb, Buck watches Eddie’s. He’s not been noticed yet, Eddie too preoccupied with staring down at his paper work, brows furrowed into a scowl. 

“You gotta stop ending up here, man.”

Eddie closes his eyes briefly. “They shouldn’t have called you.”

“They actually said you were having a heart attack,” Buck says lightly, though his chest constricts. “As much as I wanna say I’m glad it’s only a panic attack, I bet you’re not.”

That self-deprecating look on Eddie’s face is one Buck’s become well acquainted with. “Chris was right there. He was shouting for me and I couldn’t even do anything.”

Buck sits next to him on the bed, leaving space between them because he doesn’t know how to exist in Eddie’s space now they’re not living together. “Eddie—”

“I’m his father,” Eddie says, and his face is stricken when he turns to look at Buck. “I thought I was dying and that I’d leave him in some stupid suit warehouse.”

“Listen to me,” Buck says, because this isn’t his first rodeo and he knows exactly how far Eddie can spiral when he gets on his I’m a terrible father kick, which is stupid. “If I thought for one second you were a terrible father, I’d tell you so.”

Eddie huffs. “No, you wouldn’t.”

“I wouldn’t have to,” Buck points out, nudging his elbow into Eddie. “You’d see it all over my face. Look at me.”

Eddie doesn’t.

“Eddie,” Buck presses, reaching over to grab Eddie’s arm. “Look at me.”

Slowly, Eddie raises his eyes, biting at the inside of his cheek as he does. 

“You’re a great father. Chris loves you and yeah, you had a panic attack.” Buck squeezes Eddie’s arm. “Chris won’t hold it against you. He’s worried and yeah, it must have scared him to see you like that, but it doesn’t make you a bad father.”

Letting out a breath, Eddie ducks his head. He doesn’t try and move away from Buck, though, so Buck keeps his hand where it is. Silence falls, and Buck tries not to think too hard about where they are; how often they’ve been back for scans and check-ups and everything in between. Tries not to think about the blood on his hands, all over Eddie. 

“I looked at Ana,” Eddie admits quiet, pulling Buck into the moment. “All day it’s been a lot and ever since,” he trails off, and Buck doesn’t need him to elaborate, “and I just couldn’t do it, couldn’t handle being there, or what’s been happening, and I—”

“Easy,” Buck says, finally moving on the bed so that he can shift closer to Eddie, to reach over and grab his other arm. “Deep breaths, Eddie.”

“Fuck that,” Eddie snaps, tugging out of Buck’s grasp and onto his feet. “I can’t do this, I can’t have panic attacks. I don’t have time, I need to do—”

Buck stops him mid rant, a hand on his chest, using what little height he’s got on Eddie to keep him still. “Eddie,” he snaps, “this isn’t something you can ignore!”

“Why not?” Eddie snaps in return, and Buck pauses, sees Eddie’s expression shift, the pain he’s trying not to show. “Why can’t I just be done?”

“You were shot,” Buck says, voice shaky. Eddie opens his mouth, closes it, and Buck shifts his hand to neck, keeps him in place. “It’s not, there’s things, you can talk to me.”

Eddie swallows, leans into Buck’s touch, closing his eyes. “I can’t.”

“Please,” Buck says, breathless. “I want to help, Eddie, and I can’t if you don’t tell me.”

“I can’t,” Eddie whispers. “Not because,” he continues, looking Buck in the eye, “not because I don’t want to, but because I don’t know, I don’t know—”

Buck nods, pulls Eddie in for a hug. Eddie steps into it, arms coming up around Buck’s waist. He’s the perfect height, Buck thinks, pressing a kiss to Eddie’s temple. He’s not done it since, well since he left the Diaz house. Since Ana and— “Ana’s still here.”

Eddie sighs, the huff barely audible. His voice, when it comes, is muffled. “She’s with Chris?”

“I didn’t wanna bring him back here,” Buck admits, finally pulling away. “Not when I didn’t know.”

“Yeah.” Eddie runs a hand over his face. “What now?”

Buck wants to say we find Chris, take him home, I beg Bobby to cut me from the shift and we watch dumb movies all afternoon. Ana is out there, though, and he’s made a promise to stay away, to give them space, so he settles on, “I don’t know.”

_________________

Ana offers to drive Chris and Eddie home. 

Buck doesn’t have a reason to refuse so he pastes a smile on his face and bends down to hug Chris again. “I gotta get back to work, buddy.”

“But,” Chris starts. “You’re not staying?”

“I can’t,” Buck says, the same time Ana says, “There’s no need.”

Buck covers his irritation by promising Chris he’ll come by soon and they can catch up on all the movies they still need to watch. When he stands, wincing at the pain in his knee, he catches Eddie’s eye. “I’ll see you later?”

“Yeah,” Eddie says. “After your shift?”

“Oh,” Ana says. “I thought we were going out?”

Eddie frowns, confused, and something in Buck’s chest gives when he says, “were we?”

It’s instinct to reach out, curl his fingers around Eddie’s wrist. “You alright?”

There’s a beat. “Yeah,” Eddie says, but he’s still frowning. “Come over.”

“Eddie,” Ana presses. 

“Ana, please,” Eddie says, sounding as exhausted as he looks. 

An awkward silence settles that Buck decides to break. “Alright, I’ll be there.”

Relief drags Eddie’s shoulders down, and he smiles, soft and strained, but there. “Thanks.”

Ana looks upset, busying herself with Chris’ coat. It’s on the tip of Buck’s tongue to say he can do it, but he’s already causing a problem. 

“Hey,” Eddie says, twisting his wrist until he’s squeezing Buck’s fingers. “Thanks for being here. For later. I miss,” he trails off, gives Buck a wry smile. “I kinda miss having you around.”

“I’m still here, Eddie,” Buck promises, trying not to look at Ana. “I’m always gonna be here.”

Eddie nods, eyes drifting to Chris, to Ana, then back to Buck. Something in his expression softens. “You always have been.”

It’s almost a question and Buck frowns. “You alright?”

“Not right now,” Eddie admits, and it’s a lot, that look on his face, the admission. “But I will be. As long as you mean it.”

“Always,” Buck says. 

“Pinky promise on it!” Chris says, and Buck startles, not aware of their audience. He deliberately doesn’t acknowledge the knowing look on Ana’s face, the resignation. 

“Alright,” Buck allows, holding up his pinky. At Eddie’s raised eyebrow, he grins. “A Buckley tradition.”

“Oh,” Eddie says on a laugh. He links their pinkies together, eyes crinkling in that way Buck loves, the smile soft and warm. 

Buck’s chest is tight, his heart beating wildly in his chest. “I promise to always be here.”

“Good,” Eddie says. 

There’s a promise of his own in the weight of the word.

[lesbianbuck-archived]

EVAN BUCKLEY WEEK DAY SIX - “LET GO OF MY HAND” + ANGST

The day so far has been quiet, not that Buck will ever make the mistake of saying that out loud again.

Obviously Buck became a firefighter for the actual fighting fires part of the job, but he likes these shifts once in a while: a few hours between each call, lounging and snacking and getting his ass beat at Mario Kart. Having just finished dinner, they’re only halfway through their shift, and Buck is lounging on the couch next to Eddie. Holding his hand. 

Because, yeah, that’s a thing he can do now.

Eddie is reading something on his phone and Buck is just existing next to him, watching Chim and Hen bicker over the next video game they’re going to play since they stuck some of the probies with dish duty. It’s nice, it feels like home, and Buck lets out a sigh and leans his head back against the couch, closing his eyes.

He’s shaken awake by Bobby an unknown amount of time later, and when Buck finally opens his eyes and processes his surroundings, Bobby is looking at him with a tense expression.

“Buck, your parents are here. We couldn’t get them to leave.”

Buck sits up abruptly and looks over Bobby’s shoulder to see his parents standing at the top of the stairs, holding each other in the cold way that only people who have spent a lifetime caring how people see them can manage to do. And honestly, Buck just woke up and he’s not thinking straight; the only thing going through his head is survive because he feels like a kid who got caught red-handed and his parents didn’t care that he slept around as long as it was with women—

“Shit, Eddie, let go of my hand.”

Eddie replies, “What?” but he still drops Buck’s hand like it’s searing hot.

“Um,” Buck clears his throat and pushes himself up off the couch, laser-focused on his parents but not able to look them in the eye. “What are you guys doing in LA?”

“We came to meet our granddaughter,” his mom says, and Buck can’t imagine that went well. He hopes Chim did most of the talking since Maddie is still trying to fight her way out of the dark. “We figured we would stop by and say hello.”

“You didn’t have to,” Buck replies. Even though he and his parents had worked out some of their issues in therapy, there are still things he can’t talk to them about without tearing open age old wounds. Their relationship will never be idyllic. Buck just has to accept that, as much as the little kid in him still yearns for their approval. For their love. “I’m fine. I’m, uh. I’m good, actually.”

He realizes everyone else has scattered to give them space, and he kind of wishes that they hadn’t. Being alone with his parents always makes him feel like he’s about to get scolded, even now that he’s 29 and they don’t really have the right to scold him for anything anymore. He stands his ground though, even if deep down he doesn’t feel brave, and a few tense words later they leave as quickly as they came.

When the coast is clear, everyone slowly shuffles back into the loft area except for Eddie, and Buck only notices because he’s itching to see him.

He goes looking because he feels untethered, needs to be grounded, and finds Eddie stocking supplies in the back of the ladder truck with the doors closed. And that’s concerning because Eddie doesn’t ever close the doors, says he needs to be aware of everything around him at all times, a relic of coming home from Afghanistan but especially after—

Well. After.

Buck knocks on the doors a little harder than he means to, and Eddie looks up at him through the little window. Buck can tell he’s deciding whether or not to let him in, and Buck doesn’t understand why until he remembers Shannon, and then he does.

He yanks the door open before Eddie can get to it, climbing up inside and closing it behind him.

“What the fuck—”

“Eddie, that wasn’t what you think it was.” Eddie stares somewhere in the vicinity of Buck’s knees, his lips pressed together. He doesn’t look angry—it’s been a long time since Buck has seen Eddie angry, so he’s not surprised—he just looks… hurt. Buck’s heart aches. “Look, it’s not because I don’t want people to know, or that I’m ashamed or anything, it’s… it’s just—”

“You don’t want them to know.”

Buck exhales through his nose, his fists clenching uncomfortably at his sides. Not… exactly? He eventually wants his parents to know, needs them to see how happy Eddie and Christopher make him and watch them fight between their impeccable social personas and their rage that will be just underneath the surface. 

“They caught me off guard, Eddie. I just reverted back to being fifteen when they would barge into my room and see me with…” Buck trails off. Stares down at his feet. “They never cared if it was a girl. But they would scream if it…”

Eddie’s hand is soft where it touches his elbow. “Buck, I understand. It was hard to work up the nerve to tell my parents about you, but once I did, telling them was easy. Because honestly, as long as they leave Christopher alone, I don’t care what they think. But you… you still care.”

Buck nods, still staring at his feet. He shouldn’t care anymore, but he does, and he also cares about having it out in public where everyone else can see. Usually, Buck has no issue airing out his dirty laundry in the middle of the station, but whatever his parents might say would cut deeper than anything even Bobby could ever say to him. He doesn’t want to make that into a spectacle.

“Buck, look at me.” Eddie’s eyes are warm, but his stance is firm. “I understand the way that you’re feeling, and I need you to know that I trust you. With my son’s life, with my life, everything. But if you’re not ready to give everything to this, then you know… you know we can’t. As much as it would break me, Christopher doesn’t deserve anything less than full commitment. I won’t put him through that.”

“I know,” Buck’s voice shakes. “Eddie, I know. You’re right. I’m sorry. I just couldn’t—not in front of everyone like that. I feel like I belong here, and I can’t let them taint it by yelling at me for being with you. They don’t get to ruin this. It would break me too, Eddie.”

Eddie’s thumb rubs across the skin of his arm, and Buck can feel his eyes start to water. Not now, not when he’s trying to be serious, every fucking time—

“Hey, it’s okay. I’m sorry too. I jumped to conclusions about why you hid.”

And Buck thinks back to Shannon, about how Eddie hid her from everyone else even though they were married, how they sneaked around and only saw each other when they could cover it up and what that ultimately meant for her relationship with Christopher. “I understand why you did. But you have to know I would never be ashamed of you and Chris, and I would never do anything to hurt either of you. Especially not Chris.”

“I know,” Eddie says casually like he believes it, and of course he does because they’ve talked about it, and he pulls Buck down by the shoulder to kiss him gently. “I told you, I trust you. I just need you to be one hundred percent on this.”

“I am,” Buck says without hesitation. He reaches down and slides his hand into Eddie’s, squeezing in a way that he hopes is reassuring. “My parents are in town for a few more days. What do you say we go tell them tomorrow?”

Eddie squeezes back. “You want me with you?”

Buck smiles, bending down so he can bump his nose against Eddie’s. “Always.”

[waywardwrestlewritingwaif]

The Green-Eyed Monster

This is a sequel to Water Seeks Its Own Level, although you probably don’t have to read that one for this one to make sense. It’s set a few months after the events of that story. I originally intended to write for someone new but I am just totally smitten with Eddie. He called me back to him. 

Pairing: Eddie Kingston x OFC

Word count: 3,836

Content advisory: a healthy dose of smut and cursing

“Son of a bitch!” You jerk your hand back, wincing in pain and you smack the side of the toaster oven, as if it’s the appliance’s fault you haven’t yet figured out that food coming out of the oven is hot. To make things worse, you actually feel a little guilty for taking your anger out on the inanimate object. You’re in a bad mood. The toaster oven is just the latest thing to make your day worse. 

You run some cold water on your hand before you go back for another attempt at removing the leftover pizza slice that you don’t even want but you figure you should eat something because you’ve poured a couple of beer down your gullet and if you don’t eat something, you’re going to get a headache. 

So you gnaw joylessly at your pizza slice, trying not to notice that reheating it has not made it taste fresher than the three days it’s been in your refrigerator. None of this would have happened, of course, if you’d just gone out with the rest of the crew like you’d assumed you would. There was a Korean barbecue place that a few of the AEW gang had heard good things about and finally someone had taken it upon themselves to get a side room reserved so that you could all go together and have a good time. You’d been looking forward to it. 

But earlier in the day, you’d found out that the group that was going included Eddie, along with his new so-called family: the Butcher, the Blade, and the Bunny, also known as Andy, Braxton, and Allie. It shouldn’t have bothered you. They’d known each other a long time. You knew them all well. They’d all been bugging you to come along whenever they were going out together, or at least they had until recently. 

As things too often did for you, it came down to Eddie. After he’d shown up in AEW, the two of you had rekindled the fuck-buddy thing you’d had going when you were both on the indies. The problem was that now you weren’t just hooking up when you happened to be on the same tour or show: you were together every week, living in the same city, working the same schedule. So your casual, no-strings-attached thing had become a very frequent thing. It had become a leaving stuff in each other’s apartments thing. It had become a casual understanding of at least one night of the weekend together thing. 

What it hadn’t become was a relationship, at least not in the articulated, public, monogamous sense. You didn’t have anyone else in your life. You didn’t want anyone else in your life. You’d spent years telling yourself that Eddie was just someone you could go to for a good time in the sack, and even though you were aware that he always stirred up feelings in you that went beyond a fallback booty call, you kept telling yourself that was all it was. 

Now that the two of you were actually stable in terms of work and living space, though, you’d started to wonder if maybe you did want things to be a bit more stable with Eddie as well. Although you’d never discussed your status, you didn’t have anyone else in your life and you didn’t want anyone else in your life. Even though you were surrounded by beautiful people at work, people who had their shit far more together than Eddie Kingston ever would, it was like they didn’t really exist. You didn’t say that to him because you didn’t want to risk embarrassing yourself. If it was going to happen, it would come out naturally, by which you meant that he’d have to get around to bringing it up. 

Things had been fine until recently, until Eddie had taken it upon himself to reunite Braxton with his estranged wife Allie, the Bunny, so that they could have each other’s backs. At least, that’s what he said he was doing. But it actually seemed that Allie was spending most of her time with Eddie. He was the one on television calling her “the beautiful Bunny” and taking credit for wooing her back to the fold. He convinced her to join them. He was the one she seemed loyal to. Even backstage, when the four of them were around each other, Allie always seemed to be hanging off Eddie’s arm, laughing extra loudly at his jokes, and insisting that he come along wherever she was going. It made your blood boil. 

You didn’t say anything because it wasn’t like you had reason to think that Eddie wasn’t going to have anyone else in his life. And you were even sure if he did, because cuckolding his friend right in front of his face would be bold even for him. You’d gone out with the group of them a couple of times but you’d felt nauseous from jealousy, watching him talk about how great it was that they were all working together again. 

So you’d ended up begging off and just spending time with Eddie when you could be alone. More recently, you’d just started avoiding him because thinking that he was leaving your bed to have a quick shower and then run off to another woman had you crying your eyes out on several occasions. You never said anything, you just stopped returning his texts and stayed clear of him at work. And after a while, he’d stopped messaging and trying to talk to you. Things were over. 

You throw the remainder of the pizza in the garbage. Thinking about everything that’s happened in this weird, hopeless thing with him makes you feel rejected and miserable all over again. You miss him. A lot. But now it’s pretty clear that he doesn’t want anything more with you, that he wants to keep things open, and you know you can’t deal with that. 

The doorbell cuts through the fog of frustration and self-pity, startling you so much that you give a little yelp. You old place had one of those systems when the bell was hooked up to your phone but this one had a buzzer that sounded like an aircraft engine and you didn’t feel like you were ever going to get used to it. 

“Hello?” You mumble, hoping that it isn’t another homeless person looking to sleep in the hallway downstairs. 

“It’s me, can I come up?”

He doesn’t even have to say his name because you’d know that almost cartoonish accent anywhere. It figures that he’d just show up unannounced after eleven, like nothing had been weird between you. Maybe for him, things hadn’t been weird at all. 

“Yeah, sure.” You press the release to open the front door and wait, pacing a little and trying to stay calm until you hear a knock on your door. 

And when you open it, there’s Eddie, his face and jacket sprinkled with rain, sporting a fresh-looking bruise on his left eye that he turns to try to hide it. 

“We haven’t hung out in a while,” he grunts, his eyes a little suspicious and resentful. 

“True. Guess we’ve both been busy.”

You motion for him to come inside, quietly pleased that he remembers to take his boots off. You reach over to take his jacket so that you can hang it up and he looks almost offended. 

“I know where it goes,” he snaps, opening the closet and putting it on a hanger himself. 

You grip his jaw and turn his face so that you can get a better look at the damaged eye. 

“What happened?”

He steps back, pouting like a child who’s been caught doing something he knows he isn’t supposed to. 

“We went out to a bar after the restaurant. Archer offered to buy me a drink, and I said I wanted to buy him a drink. I guess it got out of hand.”

“Two friends try to buy a round at the bar turns into a fistfight. That is so you.” 

You can’t help but laugh at your own joke because it is such an Eddie thing but he doesn’t seem amused. 

“You got something I can put on this?” He grumbles. 

“I have a couple of ice packs in the freezer. Come on.”

He follows you over to the open kitchen with its little breakfast counter while you start lifting frozen entrees out of the way to find the artificial ice. 

“So how come you didn’t come to dinner?”

“I don’t know,” you lie. “My stomach was a bit upset and I probably wouldn’t have been much fun.”

He gives a low cackle. “You just don’t like it when you can’t have me all to yourself.”

You pause from digging through the back of the freezer to shoot him a scornful look. 

“You just want me there so you can have a larger audience,” you retort, standing and producing the ice pack. 

“Who said I wanted you there?”

You slap the cold pack into his cheek, giving a cruel little smile when he winces at the impact. 

“Thank god you never decided to become a nurse,” he growls. 

You can feel his eyes digging into you, searching for an opening. He knows all your fault lines so well, but he knows that there’s something going on with you that he hasn’t seen before. Your body twists under his scrutiny, trying to make it less obvious that you’re avoiding meeting his gaze. 

“So what’s up with you anyway?” he asks, still studying you too closely for comfort.

“Not much. I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine with me.”

“What?” You finally look back at him, eyes wide with fake surprise. “Did I say something that made you think I was pissed at you? Did I do something to get you pissed off?”

“Come on. You know what I mean. You barely talk to me at work, you never go out if you think I’m gonna be there. You won’t answer when I message you, or it’s two words long like I’m annoying you. I thought things were going ok with us for once.”

“They were. They are,” you counter desperately. 

He places the ice pack on the counter and arches his brows at you. When you reach to remove it, he grabs your wrist and pulls you between his body and the counter, shaking his head as he presses it hard against yours. 

His hands graze down to your hips and under your shorts, gripping both of your ass cheeks hard and you feel yourself melt against him, as you always do. You incline your head forward until your lips are against his, your arms winding around his neck, and you let yourself fall into the kiss you’d told yourself you were going to avoid. Everything that Eddie does with that mouth of his is magic and every second you spend locked in that embrace, you get drawn further in. 

“I missed this,” he growls softly, giving a hard squeeze for emphasis.

It’s almost painful to pull yourself back from what you want so much but if you don’t extricate yourself now, you’ll be going crazy over him forever, so you force yourself to do it. 

You try to pivot a little but he has you locked in place. 

“Please, just let me put the cold pack back in the fridge.”

“No,” he whispers, giving you an evil little smile before nipping at the skin of your neck. “That’s gonna stay right there and melt and make a mess until you tell me what’s going on with you.”

“That’s not fair!” You whine, trying fruitlessly to reach back so you can at least throw the stupid in thing in the sink. 

“Kinda seems like the Princess has decided she’s too good for me again.”

His lips lock onto the base of your throat and you main loudly. He’s doing it on purpose, tweaking your sensitive spots with his caresses and his words. 

“You know that’s not true, Eddie.”

“I don’t know. I thought maybe you were afraid someone might find out that I was your dirty little secret.”

“It’s not that, I don’t give a fuck who knows.”

That draws a guttural laugh from him and the sound makes your stomach flip. You don’t offer any resistance when he eases your tank top over your head and trails kisses down the center of your chest. 

“So tell me,” he insists, twisting a nipple hard between his fingers, “why I haven’t been getting any of this.”

“Why does it have to be something wrong with me? You’re the one with your new faction or family or whatever, making all sorts of plans and wooing Allie to join you.”

He lifts his head and as soon as you see the smirk on his face, you know you’re done for. 

“Wooing Allie?”

“I don’t know what you call it. You got her to ditch what she was doing and go back with you guys.”

“I call it talking to my friend’s wife and making her work things out with him. That’s not what most people would call ‘wooing’, princess.”

“Whatever, I just meant that you’ve been busy so maybe I’m the one who should feel neglected.”

You fold your arms in front of your chest because the only thing worse than trying to salvage your stupid comment is trying to do it half naked while he gives you that amused look. 

“I don’t believe it. You’re fucking jealous.”

“No,” you whine. 

“Oh yes you are. You think there’s something going on with me and Allie.”

“I guess it seems like you have a bit of a thing for her, at least. You’re always talking about how beautiful she is and all that.”

“Princess, has anyone explained to you that not everything you see in wrestling is real?”

“It doesn’t matter. I just said that you’d been busy and-“

He kisses you again, little ripples of laughter coming out as he does. You return the kiss, diving in and hoping that you can just shut him up and make him forget what you’ve said, and to shut yourself up before you say anything worse. 

“I like this,” he chuckles. “You’re jealous because you think I’m hot for someone else.”

“Fuck off, I never said that.”

The two of you continue kissing, more passionately and hungrier than before, but the next time he pulls back to catch his breath, he goes back to his new favourite subject. 

“I am never letting you live this one down.”

“You can leave any time, you smug asshole.”

He chuckles again, his hand sliding under your clothes, between your legs. He buries his face against you, his lips pressed against your ear as he drags one finger, ever so lightly, from the back of your slit all the way up to your throbbing little nub, repeating the gesture and using his hip to hold you still and stop you from thrusting against him to get more friction. He just keeps up with that ghost of a touch, humming with pleasure the more he can feel your frustration. 

“You want me to go? Really? Because it feels like maybe you’re not so sure.”

You just whimper in need, while at the same time trying to force the desire you’re feeling out of your body. 

He lightly strokes and taps at your clit as he whispers to you, “I like that you’re jealous. But you need to tell me these things, not deprive both of us, ya silly brat.”

His attention then shifts, two thick fingers swirling at your entrance while the two of you bite and lick at each other. You hold out as long as you can, which isn’t long at all, before begging. 

“Don’t do that. Stop teasing.”

“Well what do you want me to do?” he rasps, grinning as you thrust against him, trying to force some more pressure. 

“Fuck me. Stop talking and fuck me through the mattress and into the goddamned floor.”

He lifts you up by your thighs, smiling when you wrap your arms around him to secure yourself as he carries you to your bed. As he places you down, he removes the rest of your clothing in one smooth movement before discarding his own. You kiss playfully for a moment before you tap his thigh. 

“Get up here,” you order. 

And he is most happy to oblige, kneeling over your body and letting you take his thick cock in hand, easing the swollen tip past your lips, sucking and licking while you slowly move your hand along his shaft, occasionally letting your thumb flick delicately along the seam, relishing the yelps this gesture never fails to elicit from him.  

“So you want that even if I’ve been giving it to another woman?”

You growl but the vibrations only increase his pleasure and he starts to thrust a little, pushing himself further into your mouth and throat. 

“Aw, don’t worry,” he purrs, “I’ll always have some use for you.”

At that, you punch him hard in the hip and rake your nails down his ass. He eases down your body, sparkling, mischievous eyes meeting yours. It’s like there’s nothing else in the whole world for you but you know better than to say so. 

“You know what you need to do, Kingston? You need to shut the fuck up.” You push on his shoulders to direct him where you want him to go, and while he takes his time getting there, the journey involves him working his way down your body, like he’s worshipping you. 

“This what you want?” he asks, licking at your soaked flesh. 

“Mm-hmm.” You squirm in anticipation, suspecting that he might try to draw this out longer, so when he dives in and starts fucking you with his tongue, lips and teeth, you let out a loud moan and clench at the bedsheet with both fists. You’re already so close.”

“Lucky for you I have such good stamina,” he hisses. “So I can handle all of these women I’m fucking.”

“You’re still talking,” you groan. “Why are you still talking?”

He gives a harsh bite on the inside of your thigh. “Look at me.”

You glare down at him but immediately feel a little unnerved by the deadly serious look in his eyes. 

“You know damn well there aren’t any other women. I haven’t fucked another woman, haven’t kissed- hell I haven’t even beat off thinking about another woman in months. So let me enjoy this for a few hours until you go back to thinking you’re too good for me.”

With that he goes right back at it, letting you feel the full skill of that constantly moving mouth. You let yourself go, feeling for the first time in ages like you have exactly what you want, what you need, right here in your bed doing everything to make you happy. Your whole body trembles in ecstasy, the tide rising steadily within you, your whines and moans growing ever louder. 

“I love you.”

It slips out so naturally that you almost don’t notice that you’ve said it until he pulls back. 

“I’m sorry, what was that?” 

“Get back down there!” You push his head but he shakes you off and now you’re aware you have a problem. 

“Oh no, I want you to repeat what you just said.”

“I don’t remember,” you whine. 

“Sure you do.” He moves to his side next to you, running his fingers over your skin so that you stay worked up, frustrated, and desperate. 

“I fucking hate you.”

“No,” he scolds, “that wasn’t what you said.”

You exhale in exasperation. 

“Let me get you started. You said ‘I’... come on, repeat after me.”

“What makes you think I even meant it?”

“Well you have to tell me whether you did or not, don’t you, princess?”

His finger traces a curved line between your hip bones that only accentuates your overwhelming, unmet need. 

“I’m not hearing anything,” he coos, flicking his tongue over your nipple. 

“Fine!” you roar, hitting your breaking point. “I said that I love you, and yeah, I meant it.”

Grinning, he moves back down your body. 

“Now was that so hard?” he asks just as he buries his face between your legs again. 

You’d love to give a sharp retort but the second he’s giving you what you want, every other thought leaves your mind. You are one pulsating nerve waiting for release and he is expertly guiding you there. Within minutes you’re screaming his name, tears leaking from your eyes as you come down from the best orgasm you think you’ve ever had. 

By the time you can open your eyes, he’s hovering over you, the tip of his cock throbbing against the lips of your pussy. 

“Say it again.”

You groan a little and push against him but it doesn’t work. 

“Say it again and look at me this time.”

His incredible eyes bear down on you and it’s very different than before. This time, you can’t hide the truth of it behind sarcasm and annoyance. This time he can see into you. You’re vulnerable. 

“Come on.” He prods at your face with his nose and lips before once again locking you with that killer stare. “Let me hear you.”

“I love you,” you stammer, trying to read his reaction and more than a little afraid of what that might be. 

He moans a little and pushes himself part way inside you, rocking his hips slowly. 

“Again,” he rasps. 

“Don’t be like this. I said it. I said it twice. What the hell do you want?”

He grabs a handful of your hair and thrusts his face even closer to yours. “Five years. Five fucking years I’ve been waiting for you to come around. So I want to get the most out of this that I can.”

“Eddie Kingston, I love you.”

He lifts one of your legs over his shoulder and thrusts into you harder. 

“Are you going to say it back?” 

“Sure,” he laughs. “When I feel like it.”

He pounds into you with increased vigor, laughing more when he sees your face contort somewhere between fury and ecstasy, your pussy contracting involuntarily around him. 

“You are such a bastard,” you yell, fighting the second orgasm that’s about to overtake you. 

The phrase is barely past your lips when your whole body spasms, pulling him right along with you. 

“Yeah, you’re right,” he pants after a couple of minutes. “I am a bastard. But you finally managed to figure out I’m the bastard you want.”

You can’t help but laugh, wondering if he really did know ages before you did that you were in love with him, or if he was just hopeful. You run your hands over the back of his head and pull on his earlobe a little with your teeth. 

“God help me,” you whisper.

[on-maars]

Home It Is, Then

Alright, I gifted this fic for @evanbucxley because that help my life (be worth your while) series was a rollercoaster of emotions and I absolutely loved it. I wanted to contribute to the Religious Guilt Eddie Diaz idea and here’s my work :)

It’s not that angsty, quite soft at times even, if you want to take your mind off things before that finale. 

Hope you’ll like it!

READ ON AO3

When he was a little kid, Eddie used to go to Church every Sunday.

Along the years, it became a ritual. A ritual Eddie didn’t really dare to cast doubt on. This was just it. It was just the way he was raised and so Eddie continued going without objecting, without asking questions. And boys did he have some.

At first, it was simple questions. Simple questions with easy answers. Answers Eddie was taking for granted.

What does God look like? Why did He create people? Why can’t we see Him? Did He have any friends? Does He ever get lonely up there? Were there dinosaurs in the Ark?

And for a while, Eddie was happy. He was satisfied with the answers. They made sense. They were logical, and if his parents and the different priests said so, then they also had to be true, right? But then Eddie grew older, and as he grew older, the questions became more complex, more intricate, filled with confusion, wonder and doubt.

How can I trust what the bible says is true? If there is a God, then why is there so much suffering? Isn’t the chaos of the world a sign of God’s absence?

His brain was filled with them. His brain was filled with questions and hesitations and Eddie didn’t know how to make sense of them. It didn’t help that the answers were not that easy anymore. They were vague and confusing and Eddie needed clearness, he needed stability and he needed control.

And Eddie’s not so prejudiced as to think that every Christian believer out there is deemed to be narrow-minded and intolerant but that was just another aspect he could have added to the list of things that used to make him uncomfortable about the religion, how some of the most faithful members of his Church used to act, used to judge other people for being the way they were.

It wasn’t rare for Eddie to hear some disturbing comments here and there. It wasn’t loud. It wasn’t insistent. But it was there. It was weird allusions in sermons, hurtful insults in the school playground, remarks flowing in high-school hallways. Eddie couldn’t get them out of his head, and it just brought about a new series of question.

How can a loving God send anyone in Hell? How can someone be seen as ‘less than’ just because of the way they love?

Eddie didn’t like these questions. He didn’t like these questions and he liked the answers even less. And so he did the only thing that appeared to be the most sensible at that time. He started distancing himself from the religion, started skipping a few masses, a few Sundays, until his absence from his church became something more permanent, more constant.

Eddie left without looking back, practiced his faith privately, buried these questions somewhere far, far, in the back of his mind, and never really thought anything of it again.

That until he settled in Los Angeles. Until he met Buck.

And then the questions came back. They came back slowly, and then all at once.

1.

The first time it happens, it’s small. So small Eddie barely notices it.

They’re in the car. They both finished a 24 hours shift and Eddie is so tired it’s a chore just keeping his eyes open. His head rests gently on the window and his mouth slowly turns up at the edges when he realizes Buck’s been driving very gently and avoiding the holes on the road to make sure he can sleep on the way home.

He’s not sleeping though. He can’t. There are so many things he still needs to do, doing the laundry, helping Christopher with his homework, tidying the living-room that is slowly becoming a battlefield filled with Legos bricks, books about space (Christopher’s new obsession) and cars. He needs to take care of everything. He needs to take care of everything before his parents come and visit this week-end.

This was supposed to be a surprise visit – they said. We want to see our grandson . And Eddie understands. He understands his parents’ need to see his son. He understands their obsession in trying to help him. He knows it comes from a place of kindness and generosity but he can barely keep it together on a good day, he doesn’t even want to know how he would have reacted if his parents had decided to show up unannounced.

And that’s why he can’t sleep. That’s why he can’t sleep and needs to be sure that everything is taken care of before his parents show up. The last thing he wants is to give them more reasons to complain about his lifestyle and continue to think that Christopher will be better off without him.

Eddie sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose with his fingers, glancing towards Buck. His eyes fall on his best-friend’s arms and that’s when it happens. Just like that. There’s no warning, no sign, and it hits him like a tons of bricks.

He wants to hold his hand.

He wants to hold Buck’s hand.

He wants to intertwine their fingers together and rest them on his thigh.

He wants to hold it so bad it makes his own hand itchy.

But he doesn’t. Of course he doesn’t. Because that would be weird, right? That would be crossing a line. We’re just friends – he thinks. And just friends don’t do that. Sure, they hug each other, sometimes. They hug each other, they laugh together and they’re here when the other needs it but they don’t hold hands. They don’t hold hands.

“You doing okay, Eds?” Buck says and his voice is so soft Eddie almost hates him for it. Because his chest suddenly fills with warmth and Eddie doesn’t understand where it comes from. He doesn’t understand where it comes from and that scares him. And so he doesn’t mention it and pretends it never happened.

“Yeah.” He says, but his face betrays him. “Yeah, I’m okay. Just lots of stuff to think about. With-”

“With your parents.” Buck finishes with a knowing smile and Eddie can’t stop himself from smiling back at him. Because it’s his best-friend, right there. His best-friend who always knows what’s going on inside his head, his best-friend who sometimes even understands him better than he understands himself.

Eddie nods and suddenly Buck parks his car next to his house. He wants to move but his body feels like cement. Every single one of his muscles is as heavy as lead and he barely has time to register they’ve made it home that Buck is already opening the passenger’s door, unfastening his seat-belt and guiding him towards the house.

It’s quiet. Christopher is not home yet. He’s still at school and Carla is taking him home today. Eddie takes off his shoes and throws them away, sighing at the mess around him. He’s about to lean down to start picking toys but then he can feel Buck’s hand on his waist and his whole body freezes. And he doesn’t know if it’s something that Buck always does, he doesn’t know if it’s something that is completely normal in their relationship and that he’s only freaking out since his weird awakening in the car, but the thing is that he still freezes. His entire body tenses.

Not because he doesn’t like it. Quite the contrary. The only thing he really wants is to lean in on the touch and feel his best-friend’s strong arms around his back.

“Hey, none of that.” Buck says gently. “Go to bed. Take a nap. I’ll tidy everything, do the laundry and prepare something to eat for you guys.”

“Buck, you’re tired too, I can’t ask you to do that.” Eddie disagrees but his body is already swaying. Fortunately for him, Buck is here to catch him and one second later, Eddie’s chin is resting on his shoulder, unable to stop himself from breathing in the scent of what he guesses is smoke and Buck’s aftershave.

“You’re not asking.” Buck answers. “I offered. I’ll be gone when you wake up.”

“You can stay.” Eddie remarks. “Christopher’ll be thrilled.”

“Is he the only one who’ll be thrilled?” Buck asks, and Eddie can hear the hesitation in his voice. “If I stay, I mean.”

“I’m always happy when you stay.” Eddie admits, too tired to even register the words coming out of his mouth.

“Alright. Then I'll stay.”

2.

The second time it happens, Eddie’s in denial.

He’s sitting on the couch, Buck by his side. It’s been a long, hard shift and they’re all trying to make the best of the few restful minutes they have. The alarm hasn’t rung out again yet and Eddie is silently praying that it won’t until he can get home to Christopher.

Eddie tries to hold back a yawn as he sweeps the room with his eyes. Chimney is slumped on the sofa, his phone in his right hand and a small smile on his face. There’s only one person who can make him smile that way. Maddie.

Hen is also seated, but at the table. There is a book placed in front of her but from the way her eyes keep checking at her watch, Eddie knows he’s not the only one hoping for a calm, uneventful end of shift. Bobby is nowhere to be seen but the door to his office is ajar, meaning he’s most certainly inside and taking care of the boring, administrative part of the job.

And then, there’s Buck. Buck, strangely focused on a book about space Christopher recommended to him a week before. His arm is wrapped around Eddie’s shoulders and Eddie would be lying if he said the way Buck’s fingers absentmindedly trace small patterns on his chest isn’t comforting. It is, and Eddie almost wishes he’d never stop.

I don’t want him to stop – he thinks. And here it is again. That feeling. That weird, gut-wrenching sensation. He doesn’t understand it. And he’s not sure he even wants to.

Because he knows, deep down. He knows that the reason why he always feels so safe and comfortable whenever Buck is around isn’t so far-fetched and out of reach. It’s a pretty obvious reason, really. It’s simple. Easy. But Eddie’s not quite sure he’s ready to face all the consequences and the intimate and personal soul-searching questions that come along with it.

And so he stays silent and says nothing, still hoping that if he denies it for a considerable amount of time then that feeling will just go away on its own.

But then, Buck slowly extricates himself from his embrace and Eddie straight-up whines at the loss of physical contact and suddenly there’s nothing more he wants but for the ground to swallow him whole.

But Buck doesn’t judge him, oh no. And that may be the worst part. The way his best-friend always seems to be gentle, cautious, soft when it comes to Eddie. This time isn’t any different. A small smile slowly creeps on his face and Buck turns his head around, presses a small kiss on his hair, his right hand on his chest.

“Be right back, Eds.” He says, and takes a few steps towards the stairs.

Eddie sighs and only realizes his eyes are closed when he hears the small snort coming from Chimney. He opens them again and finds his friend watching him with a knowing expression on his face.

“So have you told him, yet?” Chimney asks. His tone is teasing and Eddie frowns.

“Told him what?” Eddie inquiries, his voice fragile. He doesn’t want to go there. Not yet. Not here.

“You do know he’s only waiting for you to acknowledge what’s already there, right?” His co-worker asks and that’s all it takes for Eddie’s breathing to become ragged, erratic.

Suddenly, the room is smaller. The room is smaller and Eddie’s pretty sure he’s going to suffocate if he stays here any longer.

“Hey, wah Eddie I was- I was kidding. I just thought that with the way you were acting, maybe you’d-”

“Chim.” Hen warns him and takes a few careful steps towards Eddie.

“Eddie-”

“I can’t do this.” Eddie cuts in. “I can’t do this, right now. I’m sorry.” He says, and goes down the stairs as fast as he can.

Once outside, he starts crying.

3.

The third time it happens, it’s more earth-shattering for Eddie.

He’s in the locker-room. He just came out of the shower and he's slowly getting dressed, satisfied when the comforting fabric of his civilian clothes touch his skin. It’s always been therapeutic for him, slipping on his clothes after a long day at work. There’s nothing quite like it. It feels like coming back home. He can finally let go of all the things he’s seen during his shift and focus on the other parts of his life. His son. His friends. His hobbies.

He loves his job, wouldn’t trade it for anything else in the world. But god only knows how much he needs the breaks sometimes.

He’s putting on his jumper and is about to do the same with his shoes but that’s when he sees him. Buck. His friend seemingly only got out from the shower and he’s walking towards him with only a towel covering his waist.

And Eddie should be fine. He should be fine. He’s seen his friend naked a thousand times before and it’s no news to him that Buck is good-looking but this time is different. This time, Eddie’s all hot and bothered and finds himself daydreaming about pining his best-friend to the locker and kissing straight on the mouth.

“Enjoying the view?” Buck teases him, and Eddie wants to huff out a laugh. He wants to tease him back like he always does but he’s incapable of pronouncing the slightest words. How can he? How can he while the part of himself he’s been trying so hard to conceal all those years threaten to burst out of him and expose his heart to the rest of the world? He can’t.

“I need to go.” He says. Because right now, the easy way out is to flee. Again.

“Eds, I was only kid-”

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Buck.” He cuts in, rushing to put on his shoes and take his bag. He slams the door of his locker and locks himself in his car, driving until he’s back home, safe.

4.

The fourth time it happens, it’s during a conversation Eddie has with Hen.

It was supposed to be a simple conversation. They were both seated at Bobby and Athena’s table, exchanging small talks and jokes in-between.

The 118 all decided to gather together to celebrate Chimney’s birthday and everything was going great. Everything was going great. Hen was telling him all about Denny’s experience in eighth grade and how this one was thrilled at the idea of seeing Christopher again tonight. Everything was going great, that’s why Eddie doesn’t understand why he finds himself blurting out these next few words.

“When did you realize you were into girls?” Eddie asks, and instantly regrets saying them. But it’s too late, now. They’re out in the open and he can’t take them back. And from the way Hen looks at him with a soft expression, she’s just happy he’s finally brave enough to open up.

“I’ve never really had a grand awakening like you can see in movies or series.” Hen says. “I guess it was just – always there. In a way. When I grew up, I could see that while all my friends were talking about boys, my attention was just more focused on girls.” She adds, keeping her voice low. She knows how important and new that talk is to Eddie, and she wants to create a safe space, a safe place where Eddie is free to voice all his fears, all his worries.

And Eddie’s grateful. He’s just not so sure if he’s ready to move forward with that conversation, nor if Bobby and Athena’s house is the most suited place to do that.

“Why do you ask?” She eventually asks, giving him the choice to retract or to dig in a bit deeper.

“I just-” Eddie starts but the words get stuck in his throat once again. “I-” He tries again, and fails a second time. He bites his lower lip and closes his eyes fiercely for a few seconds, trying to muster enough courage. In vain.

In the end, he realizes he doesn’t need to say anything. His eyes do it for him. They fall on Buck who’s seated on the ground with Christopher and Denny, seemingly very engrossed in whatever game they’re playing. It’s sweet – Eddie decides. His best-friend has always been so good and comfortable around kids and Eddie still remembers him saying that he probably would have ended up being a teacher if it wasn’t for his vocation as a firefighter.

Buck seems to feel his gaze on him because the next second, this one looks up and offers him one of these smiles. One of these soft smiles that makes Eddie feel all warm and at peace. He wishes it could stop. But it doesn’t. It doesn’t and against his better judgment Eddie finds himself smiling when his best-friend mouths “ you okay? ” in his direction. He nods, and lowers his eyes down.

“Eddie.” Hen starts, her tone carefully controlled. “I’m pretty sure he’d be ready to wait a lifetime if you’d ask him to.”

And it’s supposed to be comforting words, Eddie knows that, but it only fills him with even more unease and anxiety.

How much time does he still need? How much time until he realizes there’s nothing wrong with feeling that way?

Having the possibility to ask him such a huge thing doesn’t mean he should.

5.

The fifth time it happens, it’s Eddie’s fault.

They’re in his kitchen. Christopher is away having a sleepover at one of his friend’s and they have the house to themselves.

Eddie is slowly stirring his Abuela’s chicken soup while Buck is seated on the counter, teasing him and guiding him through the recipe with that bossy tone of his.

And Eddie? Well Eddie is done for.

“Are you planning on helping me or not?” Eddie asks, rolling his eyes at his friend when Buck leans over to make sure Eddie is following the recipe to the letter.

“Nop.” He smiles. “I quite like seeing you all flustered.” He adds, and there’s an implicit meaning behind his words that makes Eddie’s heart flutter. And he doesn’t understand what pushes him to say what he answers next. Maybe it’s the way Buck looks at him. Maybe it’s the accumulated unresolved tension that seems to linger in the atmosphere whenever they’re together. Maybe it’s just another one of his boosts of confidence.

“Oh yeah?” Eddie dares saying after a few seconds, raising his eyebrows in a suggested manner. Buck seems surprised. He opens his eyes wide but then a soft smile stretches his lips and his face softens. Eddie knows what it all means. He’s been friends with him for three years and he has quickly become an expert when it comes to Buck’s silent communication.

It’s an invitation. An invitation to finally acknowledge the elephant in the room and to take their relationship to the next level. And Eddie’s not sure if he’s ready. He’s not sure if he’s ready but then Buck spreads his legs a bit more apart than they were a few seconds ago and Eddie’s common sense goes up in smoke. He surges forward and slips in-between Buck’s legs to crash their lips together.

It’s not gentle. It’s heated and it’s desperate and it’s filled with a sense of urgency. And Buck doesn’t waste any second to kiss him back with just as much vigor. He cups Eddie’s cheeks with his hands and brings him closer, biting his lower lip to demand access to his mouth, which the other man just accepts. Their tongues fight for dominance for a while, a battle that each of them are more than happy to participate in. Buck hums slightly against his mouth and Eddie is pretty sure it’s just another one of his very vivid dreams.

Except that it’s not. It’s very real and Eddie’s hands are everywhere. On Buck’s shoulders, on his neck, on his hair, on his waist. It’s everywhere and Eddie suddenly struggles to breathe. He’s breathless and panting and the next thing he knows, tears are rolling down his cheeks. They’re still kissing but it doesn’t take Buck more than a minute to realize he’s crying. He cradles his chin gently and breaks the kiss, wiping his tears with his thumbs.

“Hey.” He says.

“I’m sorry.” Eddie starts. “I’m sorry, I just-”

“I know.” Buck only answers, and it’s like his eyes are piercing through his very soul. “I know.” He repeats, sealing their lips in another kiss. This time, it’s gentler, softer, and if Eddie’s right hand slips underneath Buck’s shirt and wraps itself around his waist, well then nobody needs to know about it, only Buck. Only Buck, who smiles and just throws his shirt over his head, discarding it on the floor.

Buck is still seated on the kitchen counter and when their lips connect again, Eddie places his hands on Buck’s thighs, moaning against his lips when his friend runs his hands through his hair, pulling down at his locks.

And this would have been fine. This would have been fine if Buck hadn’t moved his arms from his hair to his waist, bringing them closer until their crotches touch. Because then Eddie is suddenly hit with the realization of what they’re currently doing. He’s kissing his best-friend. He’s making out with his best-friend and he’s obviously undeniably turned on. His body jumps with surprise and as if electrocuted by his touch, Buck’s hands suddenly disappear from his body, giving him space.

Eddie takes a step back as if struck by lightning, watching his best-friend with his mouth agape. Buck is staring at him, too. His hair disheveled, his cheeks red and his lips swollen. Eddie doubts he’s in a much better state and the panic is suddenly boiling in his chest. It’s not a light stressed feeling he often has when he’s on a call, oh no. It’s a full blown panic attack that makes his heart’s beat go faster until it’s the only thing he can feel, a deep and earth-shattering anxiety that makes him feel dizzy.

“I need to go.” He blurts out.

“Eddie, wait.” Buck says, catching his wrist with his hand. “You don’t need to go. We can talk about it. Whatever you need.”

“I-” Eddie starts but his eyes start watering again. “I can’t. I’m sorry. I need to go.” He repeats, rushing outside.

There, he walks. He walks, ignoring the way Buck is still calling out his name from the porch. He walks and walks and walks, and ignores how the rain pounds harsh against him, soaking him to the bones. He walks until his steps lead him to Bobby’s house. It’s quiet. The house is silent but there’s still a light on in the living-room and that’s what pushes Eddie to knock on the door a few times. His gestures are slow and weak and for a moment, Eddie wonders if someone heard him but then the door is being pushed open and Bobby’s there, watching him, his eyes filled with confusion, and worry.

“Eddie? What are you doing here?” He asks. “Everything okay?”

+1

“I- I kissed Buck.” He blurts out.

A flash of understanding crosses his Captain’s eyes and he moves to the side to invite him in. Eddie takes a few steps inside and ignores the way Athena looks at him with compassion before disappearing in their bedroom. Because he doesn’t want compassion. He doesn’t want pity. He wants to understand. He wants to understand what’s going on inside his own head.

“Does he know you’re here?” Bobby asks. “Buck. Does he know you’re here?”

Eddie shakes his head, watching Bobby sighs as he takes his cellphone from his back pocket, most likely to send a quick text to Buck and puts an end to his endless anxious thoughts.

Athena comes back from the room with a fresh towel and a pair of sweatpants and an old jumper, probably belonging to Bobby. Eddie thanks her silently and locks himself in the bathroom, discarding his clothes in the laundry basket. He sighs and dries his body as much as he can before getting dressed with his captain’s clothes. He comes back in the living-room and rubs his wet hair with the towel.

“Sit down.” Bobby tells him, pointing at the chair. Eddie complies and looks down at his hands, his fingers twitching. He closes his eyes and bites his lower lip to hold back the sobs that threaten to rack his body any second.

“I kissed him, Cap.” He repeats, his voice weak, his eyes staring at Bobby, almost pleadingly. Pleading for what, he doesn’t know, but pleading all the same. “I kissed him, and then I- I freaked out. I freaked out and I left him there all alone and I just fled.”

“Why did you freak out?” Bobby asks, his eyes filled with understanding.

“I don’t know!” Eddie exclaims, huffing out a nervous laugh. “I don’t know, I-”

“Is it something he did that made you uncomfortable?”

“No!” Eddie instantly answers. “No, he was- it’s Buck, Bobby, he just- as soon as he saw I was starting to freak out, he just stopped. And I started it. I kissed him. Hell I wanted to kiss him.”

“Were you scared?” Athena intervenes. “Because it’s okay if you were, Eddie." She adds, and then speaks again, more carefully: "This is- This is new to you, right?”

“No. I mean yes.” He says, closing his eyes fiercely for a few seconds. “It was just… I’m not new to the kissing game obviously, even if it was only with… Only with girls. Why would a guy be any different, though?” He asks, mostly to himself. “I don’t understand why I’m so- Am I being homophobic?” He opens his eyes wide, panic clearly shown on his face. “Oh my god, I am, aren’t I? But I don’t-”

“Eddie.” Bobby cuts in. “You’re not being homophobic. Or maybe you are. But not in the sense you’re thinking of.”

“How many senses are there in being homophobic, Bobby? Either you are or you’re not, this is ridiculous.” Eddie snaps. Bobby marks a pause, looks at Athena for a few seconds and speaks again when she nods.

“Eddie, have you ever felt any different around Hen?” He asks, and Eddie shakes his head. “Did you ever view her any differently just because she’s attracted to girls or because she’s married to a woman?”

“No, of course not.” Eddie instantly answers.

“And what about you?” Athena asks.

“What about me?” Eddie repeats, confused.

“Have you ever viewed yourself differently because you’re attracted to Buck? Because you’re attracted to a man?” Athena adds, and Eddie’s breath catches in his throat.

For a few seconds, a deep silence settles in the room. “I- I guess.” He admits. “Yes.” He adds, more confidently. “I just- The way I was raised, it- it was very traditional. It’s always been that way and it- it doesn’t let you much of a choice.” He explains. “My parents, they- they weren’t homophobic. I mean, I don’t think they were. Not outwardly, at least. Not on purpose. But- there just never was any option for me. I was- I was just supposed to be straight. Everything else, it- it didn’t matter. It didn’t exist. Not really.”

“Eddie, you probably internalized a lot of homophobia throughout the years. Even without knowing.” Bobby says carefully. “It only makes sense that it’s so hard for you to accept the fact that you like another man. That you like Buck.”

“I don’t like him.” Eddie shakes his head. “I- I'm pretty sure I’m in love with him.”

Athena smiles. “This boy makes it hard not to fall in love with him.” She adds, and Eddie huffs out a laugh, wiping the tears with the sleeve of his jumper. Bobby’s jumper.

“Right?” Eddie nods knowingly. “He’s bloody annoying, though. And stubborn as hell. And god, sometimes he really can be a pain in the ass but it’s-”

“It’s Buck.” Bobby finishes for him, smiling.

“Yeah.” Eddie nods. “It’s Buck.” He adds. “God, I really screwed up, didn’t I?”

“Nah.” His Captain only says. “I think you’re okay. I mean from the…” He says, taking his cellphone in his hands. “15? No. 16 messages I just received from him, I’m pretty confident in saying that you’re already forgiven. He just worries about you.”

“Of course he does.” Eddie complains, lowering his eyes. “As I said. Bloody annoying.” He repeats, quieter, and this earns him a few laughter from Athena and Bobby.

“You want to be with him, right?” Athena asks, and Eddie’s pretty sure that’s the easiest question he’s been asked in his entire life.

“Yeah.” He answers. “Yeah, of course I want to be with him.” He admits. “I’m just scared. Anxious. Embarrassed.”

“Embarrassed?”

“I’m a grown man, Athena. I’m a grown ass man and I- I'm pretty sure I’ve always known, deep down, that I was- that I was gay. Or at least I think that I knew. I was just trying to convince myself that I wasn’t. And I- God I almost did it. I almost did it. And I- Besides that, I’m just bad at- I’m bad at this relationship thing, man. I’m not sure- I’m not sure it’s for me. Maybe it isn’t. And Buck, he- he just loves so freely, you know? So freely and so… So openly. How can I compete with that? He’s going to get sick of me. It’s just a matter of time.” Eddie goes on and whirls his head around when he hears Bobby snort.

“Eds, Buck’s like my kid and trust me when I say that he would never get sick of you even if you tried.” Bobby says. “Eddie, he loves you and Chris to the moon and back and nothing’s going to change that. You’re it for him.”

“The amount of times we had to sit through his rants about you guys.” Athena rolls her eyes. “It’s actually quite sickening. How much he holds the both of you dear to his heart.”

Eddie runs one of his hands through his hair. There’s only one thing left to do. He stands up and is about to reach for his cellphone when he realizes he’s left it on the kitchen table. He bites his lower lip and sighs at the idea of Buck pacing back and forth in his living-room, worried sick about him.

“I should probably go back there, right?” Eddie asks, and there’s a few knocks on the door at the same time.

“Pretty sure he beat you to it.” Bobby remarks and he doesn’t need to walk towards the front door that this one is already wide open and Buck comes rushing in the living-room, his eyes wide, until he catches Eddie’s gaze and only then his entire face softens.

His eyes shuttle back and forth as if performing an internal scan of Eddie’s face, making sure he’s not hurt, making sure he’s safe. Eddie smiles softly at him and he nods.

“I’m okay.” He says.

“Thank god.” Buck breathes, crossing the few feet separating them with a quick step to engulf him into a bone crushing hug. He lets his hand run through his hair a few times and Eddie closes his eyes, burying his face in the crook of his neck.

“Sorry I ran away from you like that, I- I freaked out.” He admits and only smiles when Buck presses his lips against his hair.

“Doesn’t matter. You’re here now.” He says, his teasing mode switched to standby mode. And that’s another thing Eddie loves about him. Buck always knows perfectly well how to act around him, when to push him, when to tease him and more importantly when to stop. This is one of those moments and Buck is aware of it. There’s not the slightest tease in his tone, not the slightest hint of amusement, only comfort.

Bobby and Athena are both gone and Eddie is grateful for the privacy they both decided to give them.

“So you’re good, yeah?” Buck asks.

“Yeah.” Eddie answers. “Yeah. All good.” He adds, smiling when Buck’s hands cup his cheeks once again, pecking him on the lips.

“What’s going on then? How can I help?” Buck instantly asks, his brows furrowed with concern.

“Well as stupid as it sounds, I just freaked out because- because of the ‘guy’ thing.”

“Are you trying to tell me I’m your gay awakening?” Buck says, and his teasing mode is back on, which only makes Eddie laugh, rolling his eyes at him.

“That’s exactly what I’m trying to say.” Eddie smiles.

“Well, it’s not stupid.” Buck adds softly. “Far from it.” He insists. “If you need time to figure it out, I’m more than happy to give it to you. Otherwise, we can just go as slow or as fast as you want. You pick the pace. I’ll be right next to you, either way. Okay?” Buck asks.

“Okay.” Eddie answers, tracing Buck’s birthmark with his thumb.

“What do you wanna do, right now?”

“Home.” Eddie instantly says. “I wanna go back home.”

“Alright, then.” Buck smiles. “Home it is, then."

Home it is, then.

[agentlemuse]

soft Eddie prompt?? I need to read something where Eddie is wearing just a huge sweater or something and cuddling up with his favorite boys. Maybe on a rainy day? I need him drowning in warmth and love and happiness cus that’s what he deserves damnit! This is kinda vague? Idk if this counts as a prompt because I’m new to all this but I hope it’s okay! I love your writing ❤️

“Buck, you can’t throw this stuff out.”

“I’m not throwing it out, I’m donating it.”

Eddie looks at the pile of clothes before him, spotting the name brands and wondering for the hundredth time how Buck could afford such nice things on a firefighter’s salary. He knew raising a kid was expensive, but he had a feeling his budget wouldn’t be so generous even if he didn’t.

“You could sell a lot of this stuff,” Eddie points out. He’s all for donating clothing; Eddie’s own closet is full of his fair share of secondhand store finds. He’s not about to spend a fortune on his wardrobe when that money can go to his son. 

So yeah, he also knows his way around a resale app. He paid for the U-Haul and gas for the move from Texas to California selling things they no longer needed. It’s not that he’s cheap, but he knows how to stretch a budget and that includes getting the most out of the items he did have. “You could probably make a few hundred bucks selling this stuff and what you don’t sell you can still donate.”

“For old clothes,” Buck questions, looking at his stuff with apprehension. “Honestly, it’s not worth it. It sounds like a lot of work and I’d rather spend my day off any other way.” 

“I’ll do it.”

“Why?” 

“I enjoy it,” Eddie shrugs, refraining from going into excruciating detail about how sorting and pricing the items soothe him,  how he finds haggling over prices exhilarating or how finally reaching a sale releases a shot of dopamine straight through his veins. His hobby might not be cool, but it’s practical and he enjoys it. 

“I mean...if you’re sure?”

“Absolutely,” Eddie grins, already sorting his new inventory in his brain. 

Buck can only chuckle at Eddie’s expression, still confused but fond nonetheless. “If there is anything you want, feel free to help yourself.”

“Honestly Buck, you’ve got to stop undercutting your profits.”

“Consider it your commission,” Buck offers and Eddie nods his head in agreement. Seems fair. 

Eddie gets to work that night, sorting what can be sold versus what is better off being donated or simply trashed. Most of the items are fairly new, left behind as a result of Buck’s bulkier build. Hell, he has a pile of items with the tags still on them. 

Still, there are a few older pieces, dragged along from place to place. Eddie looks back over at the cream colored fisherman sweater. It’s heavy, far heavier than could ever be needed in their part of California. Buck probably brought it with him from Pennsylvania, a nostalgic relic that is finally being culled. It’s soft, comfy and it smells like Buck. 

Eddie has no intention of keeping any of the items for himself. They might be only a few inches different in height, but where Buck is all leg Eddie is all torso. There aren’t a lot of items that make sense for him, but that sweater…

It’s too big, even now that he has added on muscle. It’s big, but somehow it makes the fit even better. It will never be cold enough for him to justify keeping it. He should sell it. He should donate. He shouldn’t keep it. 

He keeps it. 

He doesn’t tell Buck. Eddie’s not sure why he would need to tell him or if he would even care, but it feels like something he should keep to himself. 

He gives Buck the $380 he made on the other items, rolling his eyes when Buck insists on giving him a commission. 

“It’s your money, Buck. It was your stuff. Just..bring over pizza sometime. We’ll call it even.” Buck does, and what he is guessing is $320 worth of legos, books and games for Chris that he just “happened” to find. He wants to call Buck out on it, but Chris is over the moon and he just can’t bring himself to fight him on it. 

Buck was going to donate all the clothes anyway. It’s not like he’s really out the money. 

They spend the night on the couch laughing, watching old cheesy movies and Buck leaves with a smile on his face and a twinkle in his eye. Eddie doesn’t want him to leave, but then again he never does. He pulls out the sweater after Buck has left and puts it on, breathing in the comforting smell of Buck and pretends for a moment that Buck is still here. 

He’s a thirty-three year old man and far too old to suddenly develop the need for a security blanket, but here he is. He goes for the sweater after the hard days, during the lonely nights, the times when Buck tries to get himself killed on the job and sometimes just because. It’s starting to smell less like Buck and more like himself, but still he finds comfort in that silly oversized sweater. 

So when the rain patters down on a Saturday night he goes for his trusty sweater. It may be fall, but it’s far from chilly. Doesn’t matter. He misses the rolling thunderstorms back in Texas, but there is still something calming about a rainy evening. He grabs a book, settling in for a night on the couch when he hears his front door open. 

“Eddie, you decent?” 

Eddie can’t help but roll his eyes, marking his spot in the book and placing it on the coffee table. “Decent enough for the likes of you.”  

Buck is smiling as he walks in the living room, pausing in place as he looks Eddie over. “Are you wearing my sweater?”

“No,” Eddie states, blaming any red on his cheeks on the warmth of the garment and absolutely nothing else. “I’m wearing my sweater.”

“Pretty sure I remember having something similar,” Buck points out, making himself at home next to Eddie. 

“And I’m pretty sure I adopted it when you so cruelly tossed it aside. So, like I said, it’s my sweater.” 

Buck chuckles at his lame attempt at humor, eyeing him with an expression he can’t quite place. “It suits you.” 

Eddie can’t help but grin at the praise, handing Buck the remote before grabbing his book. Buck makes himself comfortable against him, using him as a giant pillow as he mindlessly flips through the channels. Eddie doesn’t mind the lack of personal space. Maybe, if he’s lucky, the sweater will regain some of Buck’s scent. Maybe, if he’s lucky, he’ll convince Buck to stay.

[reyescarlos]

look after you || a buddie fic

❄️ @911giftexchange fic for @bombera      hey, tori! i'm wishing you the happiest of holidays! this year has truly been one for the books so i hope this fic will help to end 2020 on a good note for you! it kinda ran away from me but i hope you’ll enjoy! ❄️

word count: 4.7k || read on ao3

You've begun to feel like home, yeah What's mine is yours to leave or take What's mine is yours to make your own

Infamously December is known to be a hectic month but now, with just a little over two weeks until Christmas, Eddie is feeling the pressure. His work schedule leaves little to no time for him to prepare for the holiday season, time slipping through his fingers with such ease that it had come as a surprise to see just how close he and the rest of the world were getting to the big day.

His concern was bad enough but this last week his mind has been additionally preoccupied with worrying over his son who is the latest person to come down with the bug that’s running rampant. If he isn’t at work, he’s right by Chris’ side, doting over him and doing his best to insure his comfort.

Throughout it all he has had Buck, his best friend and confidant, a man he can share virtually any thought with. All, really, but one. Eddie groans internally. His unspoken feelings for Buck are the last thing he needs to dwell on now. But the thought is far easier to think than put into practice with Buck sharing this space with him. Even on his day off Buck opts to spend time at the Diaz house, an additional set of hands that Eddie is beyond grateful for at such a time. Buck has long since been a staple in his home and now, more than ever, he’s grateful for his companionship and help to keep him from going under. Buck seems to understand him in ways very few can, sensing his needs and thoughts without a single word uttered.

He can feel Buck’s eyes on him as he pops two slices of bread into the toaster but he focuses on his task, doing his best to keep his head on straight though his mind is a riot of thoughts.

Eddie massages the back of his neck to relieve some tension, stretching it a bit as he draws in a breath.

“Alright, what’s going with you?” Buck asks.

Eddie turns back to face him and shrugs. “It’s nothing. I’m just trying to figure out a game plan. I still have to finish holiday shopping but you’ve seen our schedule for the next two weeks. We’re practically going to be living at the station.”

“But we have today off and it’s only noon. That’s plenty of time for you to head out there while I stay here with little man. See? Simple solution.”

“It’s your day off. I couldn’t do that.”

“I can watch him, it’s not a problem,” Buck insists.

Eddie hesitates. It’s a great offer, one that would quickly remedy his dilemma. “I don’t know, Buck. It’s a big ask. It’s short notice and he’s sick.”

“It’s not a big ask. It’s not even an ask at all; I’m volunteering. And besides,” Buck says, puffing up his chest. “Buckleys don’t catch colds.”

Eddie’s mouth twists to one side in thought. Today really is the one true window of time he’ll have and it’ll certainly be easier to stealthily buy Chris’ presents without his observant son being able to see what he’s purchasing. Resigned, Eddie nods slowly, knowing this is the best offer he could possibly have.

“Alright, yeah, okay. I’ll try and hurry back but still, I know it’ll be a few hours until I’ll be back home.”

Buck rolls his eyes. “Would you relax? Take all the time you need, seriously. Chris and I always have a blast together. We’ll be just fine. I promise.”

“No, I know he’s good with you. I just…”

“Suck at accepting help, yes, I know,” Buck teases, patting him on the shoulder with one hand and gesturing towards the front of the house with the other.

“Go. I’m officially kicking you out. Don’t forget to get me something nice, yeah?”

~*~*~

Eddie returns home with a trunk full of presents after a very successful trip to the mall. He’s managed to get for everyone on his list and the relief he feels in having this task officially scratched off his to-do list is a major weight off his shoulders. He carries a few bags in with him to the house. From the moment he steps inside he can hear the raucous laughter of Christopher and Buck coming from the living room, his son breaking into a small coughing fit afterwards.

Eddie stashes his purchases into the closet, hiding the bags under his jacket in a feeble attempt to bury it for the time being. Buck and Chris carry on chatting and Eddie is certain that neither of them realizes he’s gotten back, so wrapped up they are in their conversation.

“Maybe we could go to New York like Kevin next year for Christmas? Me, you, and Dad.”

Eddie feels his body tense and he stays in place, curious as to what Buck’s response will be.

Eddie could easily picture it, the three of them taking on the city. The images that flood his mind teem with warmth and joy and sincerely, Eddie would love nothing more than to wrap himself in that. But a trip that elaborate wouldn’t be a casual thing between friends, at least not for him. It’s one thing to have Buck over at his place or for them to go on outings around LA with Chris on weekends. A Christmas getaway would carry far more weight. It’s something that families do. Something twinges a bit in Eddie’s chest at the thought. Somewhere along the way, without Eddie even fully realizing it had solidified itself, that’s precisely what Buck has become to him, and apparently Chris too.

“Now there’s an idea. I would love to go with you guys. Sure you wouldn’t mind me tagging along?”

Chris is quick to respond, casting away any trace of doubt. “Nope, the trip wouldn’t be the same without you.”

Eddie can hear Buck sigh. It’s clear just how touched his best friend is by Chris’ sentiment and Eddie would have to agree with his son. Any trip, any facet of life really, is so much better when Buck is thrown into the mix. He’s so interwoven into the fabric of their life, it’d be hard to picture any moment, big or small, without him there experiencing it with them.

“See, this is why you’re my favorite Diaz. Don’t tell your dad I said that though. It may break his old man heart,” Buck laughs, Chris joining in.

This melody is Eddie’s favorite sound, the lightheartedness of his two favorite guys sharing a private joke. It’s the little things like this that light him up, that fill him with a warmth so vibrant and strong that it takes every ounce of strength in him not to sit Buck down one day and have a serious conversation. But Eddie has never been good with words and in a case like this, for a topic this important, he knows a talk like that would be best handled with care. Whenever, or rather if ever, that day comes, Eddie hopes he’ll be prepared to handle it. Instead he’ll stick to this, to cloaking his feelings for the sake of keeping the scales balanced.

“With laughs that big I’m guessing someone is feeling better?” he says aloud, essentially announcing his presence.

He steps into the living room and sees the space has been transformed. A giant fort is set up in the center of the room and at the mouth of it is Buck and Chris stretched out side by side on pillows from the couch and Chris’ bed. It looks like the coziest of setups and Eddie isn’t at all surprised to see that Buck got creative in trying to make Chris as comfortable as possible.

Chris slaps on an innocent smile but Buck apparently has a harder time schooling his features.

“Eddie, you’re back. I didn’t even hear you come in,” he says, picking up the remote.

The end credits for Home Alone 2 flit by on screen. Buck hits pause as Chris reaches for the DVD of A Charlie Brown Christmas.

“Can we watch this one next?” he asks Buck who’s already nodding.

“Oh, definitely. This is one of my all-time favorites. How about I get you another bowl of soup and then we can fire this one up. Sound good?”

Chris gives him a two thumbs up and flops back against the pillows, plucking a tissue out of the box and wiping at his nose. Eddie frowns seeing his son so sick but the best he can do is continue supplying him with medicine and fluids to help him through it.

Buck carefully climbs out of the fort and walks over to Eddie, the two of them going into the kitchen.

“How’d your shopping go?” Buck asks as he opens the fridge and takes out a container.

“Really well. I managed to get stuff for everyone on my list, including a certain pest I know,” he jokes the second Buck opens his mouth, no doubt to check about the status of his own gift.

“Well, I’m glad you have your priorities in order then, thank you.”

A comfortable silence falls between them as Buck moves around the kitchen and Eddie is struck, not for the first time since befriending Buck, at how comfortable his friend is inside of his home. That’s all Eddie could have ever wanted. Buck moves with such assurance taking a bowl down from the cupboard, pulling a spoon out of a drawer, knowing exactly where everything is without hesitation or having to ask. It warms his heart to see this, to know that Buck must feel comfortable here, that this could somehow be home.

“Thanks again for watching Chris for me. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it,” he says as Buck pops the now filled bowl into the microwave.

“Don’t mention it. I love hanging out with him and if I can help you in any way, I will. Always.”

Buck holds his gaze and for a moment, Eddie thinks he’ll say more. There’s something in his expression that looks as if he’s trying to communicate something wordlessly but far too soon, the moment passes and shortly after the microwave beeping breaks the silence between them. Buck smiles softly before turning away but Eddie keeps his eyes trained on his back, getting lost in his thoughts.

Maybe this is all in his head or perhaps an unhealthy amount of wishful thinking is at play but lately something has felt different between them, as if there’s something going unspoken.

Buck gets a tray and puts the bowl on top of it, carefully picking it up from the countertop.

“I can bring it to him,” Eddie says, gesturing to take the tray. “You can get out of here, if you want. You should enjoy what’s left of your day off.”

Buck rolls his eyes as he side steps and laughs. “That’s exactly what I’m doing now. Didn’t you hear? It’s Charlie Brown time. No way in hell am I missing him or that tree.”

Eddie smiles softly and shakes his head. He opens his mouth to say something but falls short on words. Buck seems to understand regardless as he smiles back and nods.

“I know,” he says simply. Eddie wants so desperately to ask what exactly it is that Buck knows, what he feels but he lets the matter go for now.

This right here is more than enough, he reasons. To have Buck look at him and comprehend even a fraction of his gratitude.

~*~*~

Eddie knows he worries too much but watching Buck throughout their busy morning and early afternoon with back to back calls, he can’t help but to feel a little troubled over Buck’s slower pace and quieter nature. Usually he could be counted on to be the most energized and talkative during calls but today he’s so much more subdued and it feels like a real cause for concern.

“You okay?” Eddie asks, searching Buck’s face as they wash their hands in the bathroom to prep for lunch.

“Yeah, I just need some food in me and I’ll be good to go.”

Buck smiles reassuringly but Eddie isn’t convinced. Nonetheless he follows Buck up to the loft where the rest of the crew is already gathered around the table. Eddie takes a seat beside Hen who sits across from Chimney, the two already engaged in conversation.

This leaves Eddie the coveted spot of sitting opposite Buck.

Buck settles in at the table beside Chimney, placing a hand against his throat as he clears it before he reaches to the center of the table to start fixing his plate. Eddie watches him curiously as he’s done all day, noting the way Buck seems to be moving a bit slower than usual, the man’s eyes trained in focus on the simple task of putting food on his plate.

Eddie wonders if he’s reading too much into Buck’s body language but given how well he knows his friend, he feels safe in his assumption that Buck is off today because he’s sick and putting forth his best efforts to disguise this fact. Out in the field it was easy to attribute Buck’s pace to the amount of work the team had to put into their calls but now, with everyone finally able to unwind and catch their breath, Buck still looks put out.

“Buck, you’re really hot,” Chimney says as Buck’s arm grazes his. Eddie purses his lips, his suspicion confirmed easily.

Buck flashes a smile and a wink. “Tell me something I don’t know. But I don’t think Maddie would take it well to know you’re hitting on her brother.”

Chim smacks his hand against his forehead and shakes his head.

“You’re no match for your sister, I can tell you that right now, but that’s not what I meant. Seriously, don’t you feel warm?”

Buck shakes his head. “No. It’s actually kind of cold in here, isn’t it?”

Hen pushes back from the table across from him, putting a hand over her mouth and nose.

“Nope, you’ve got to go. Cap, this bug is making the rounds quick. I swear half of Denny’s class is out with it.”

Bobby rises from his seat and walks over to Buck, placing a hand on his forehead. Buck looks like a grumpy child as his bottom lip pokes out slightly.

“Jeez, Buck. You’re like a furnace. I’m afraid I have to send you home.”

“But, Cap!” Buck tries to protest but Bobby shakes his head and holds up a hand to stop any more objections.

“That’s an order. And here are some more for you: drink lots of fluids, get in bed, and stay there. Be sure to get a ton of rest until this fever breaks. I know you want to stay on and help but you’re going to sideline the whole team if we don’t do this. Sorry, Buck.”

Buck sighs defeatedly and pushes back in his seat, rising to his feet. The crew murmurs their get well soon wishes to Buck as he heads toward the stairs and Eddie’s heart sinks to the pit of his stomach knowing how and why Buck is sick in the first place. He rises from his seat, quickly wiping at his mouth with a napkin before following him to the locker room.

Eddie stays quiet at the door as Buck gets his locker open and takes out his bag.

“So much for Buckleys don’t get sick, huh?” Buck says with a sigh, sitting down on the bench.

Eddie steps further into the room and sits beside him, putting a hand on his shoulder and giving it a light squeeze. He’s surprised when Buck’s hand comes to rest over his. Buck’s hand is warm and Eddie relishes in his touch but too soon, the feeling is gone; Buck quickly lets go and clears his throat, shifting his attention to his bag. Eddie’s hand falls limply into his lap.

“This one’s on me. I’ll stop by after work and check on you, okay?” he ventures.

“You don’t have to. I’ll be alright.”

“Maybe so but I’d feel a hell of a lot better seeing that for myself. I can drop you home now, if you want. I’m sure Bobby would let me run off for a bit.”

Buck smiles softly and shakes his head. “You’re a good friend, Eddie, but I can manage the trip home. I promise I’ll follow Dr. Nash’s orders to the letter. I’ll be back on my feet in no time, just you wait and see.”

~*~*~

It’s been two days and Buck’s fever has been making its presence known; it’s Chris’ symptoms all over again but Eddie is ready for it, already having placed a call to his grandmother for even more of her miracle soup. Eddie’s been anxious at work, keeping his phone within reach at all times just waiting to get replies from Buck when he checks in. Some messages are more coherent than others but overall it seems as if Buck is hanging in there as much as can be expected.

Eddie’s certain that what his friend needs now is his grandmother’s home-cooking to really send Buck’s ailment packing. It’s to her house he heads straight to after his shift, his thoughts resting heavily on Buck’s recovery.

“Abuela?” Eddie calls out as he locks back the front door of her home.

“In here!”

Eddie follows her voice to the kitchen where he finds his grandmother ladling her soup into Tupperware, the remnants of vegetables and spices on the counter.

He greets her with a kiss on each cheek, taking a set back so she can continue filling the container she’s halfway done with.

“Thanks for doing this...again,” he muses. “One day I swear I’ll learn how to make this stuff.”

She gives him a doubtful look but smiles. “I don’t mind making it for you and your boys.”

Eddie eyes her for a moment, taking note of the implication of her wording. Unsure of how or even if he should call attention to it, Eddie switches gears a bit.

“I’m sure Buck is going to appreciate it. This soup was practically magic for Chris. Buck is chomping at the bit to get back to the station. This is just the thing to get him there again soon.”

His grandmother sets the ladle down and secures the lid on the container, double checking that it’s properly sealed.

“And I’m sure you’re eager for him to get back, too.”

Eddie is brought up short by this, his brows furrowing in thought. Isabel Diaz is as formidable a woman as ever and is always far too good at reading things that weren’t spoken with Eddie. In a case like this, it only makes him feel on edge rather than comforted.

“What are you getting at?”

Isabel shrugs her shoulders but despite how nonchalant the gesture is, Eddie knows there must be more to her thoughts than she’s letting on just then.

“Nothing. Nothing at all. Buck is your best friend, no? I would think it’d make sense that you’d want your partner back.”

Eddie can feel heat rising in his face and quickly turns to the pantry, opening the door to it and taking a tote bag off one of the shelves, taking advantage of the brief moment of reprieve to pull himself together.

Eddie returns to her side and begins packing away the various containers. His grandmother is nothing if not efficient and thorough. These batches will be enough to get Buck through the week.

Eddie stays quiet while he works but just as he’s putting away the last container, she places a hand on his arm, stilling him.

He turns his head slightly to look at her, not quite meeting her eye. She takes it as the invitation it is to say whatever is on her mind.

“He’s lucky to have a friend like you,” she says softly, as if in thought.

“I’m the lucky one here, believe me. Buck’s always a huge help. At work, around the house, with Chris. This is the least I could do.”

It’s only then that Eddie looks at his grandmother fully and the knowing smile on her face is so comforting that Eddie feels the tension in his body melt away.

“People like that are hard to find in life. Be sure to hold on the good ones for however long you can.”

~*~*~

Visits to Buck’s after work have become the norm all week and with each trip, Eddie feels more assured that Buck will be better in no time. Today’s check in brings on a sense of déjà vu. In Buck’s living room now is a replica of the fort he and Chris constructed at Eddie’s place a week and a half prior.

“What’s your obsession with forts anyway?” he asks as he climbs inside, surrounded by plush pillows and blankets.

“Maddie used to make them for me all the time when I was little,” Buck says. “Building one with Chris has me kinda nostalgic, I guess.”

Eddie smiles to himself at the mental image of Buck as a kid. It isn’t too hard to picture what he must have looked like back then as he looks at him now, a blanket draped over his head and shoulders sitting cross-legged in front of the laptop, a movie already playing.

“What are you watching?” Eddie asks, settling in.

“Love Actually.”

Eddie laughs and shakes his head. “I didn’t take you for a romcom lover but I guess that somehow makes sense now that I think about it.”

“What’s not to love about them? The build up, the will-they-won’t-they but you know they totally will, the big sweeping declaration at the end? That’s what everyone roots for. Who doesn’t like seeing people in love live happily ever after? It’s the dream,” Buck concludes.

Eddie doesn’t argue the point. How could he possibly when that’s all he’s been hoping to have himself?

“That’s really your dream?” he asks tentatively.

Buck shrugs. “I definitely wouldn’t say no if it were to happen. But in order for all of that, someone would actually have to fall head over heels for me,” he laughs wryly.

“You make it sound like such an impossibility. Like you’re somehow difficult to love.”

Buck’s head tilts to the side a bit. “You don’t think that I am?”

It’s such a loaded question, a dangerous one really but still, the words fall effortlessly from Eddie’s lips as he replies.

“I would think that falling for you is one of the easiest things a person could do.”

Eddie realizes this conversation is veering off course and Buck probably isn’t thinking very clearly given the state of things. For all Eddie knows, Buck is hopped up on cold medicine and doesn’t realize he’s asking leading questions. Eddie falls silent then, laying back and staring up the blanket overhead as the movie continues to play on screen. The seconds stretch tauntingly and Eddie knows he’s said too much, gone too far over the line they’ve been treating as a tightrope.

He hears the tap of the keyboard and the movie pauses. Eddie keeps his eyes trained above him, hoping they can avoid delving deeper into this. But he’s kicked open the gate, ushered in this line of conversation he’s been terrified to have.

“Eddie, I—,” Buck starts but Eddie isn’t so sure he wants, or is even ready, to hear what Buck has to say in response.

“You should get some sleep.”

“But I want to talk to you. I missed you today. I always miss you when you’re away.”

Eddie freezes, unsure of if this an open statement Buck would be making if he wasn’t sick or possibly feeling awkward given Eddie’s last comment but he’d be lying to himself if he said it isn’t something that makes his chest warm right in the center.

“I’m here now and I’m not going anywhere all night,” he assures.

“All night? What about Chris?”

“He’s probably on his way to a sugar coma at my grandmother’s right about now. She’s baking tonight and Chris, of course, volunteered to help. I know he’s just in for the leftover frosting and taste testing.”

This seems to be a good enough distraction. Buck laughs softly and grows quiet, pressing the laptop again and Eddie is certain he’s never been more grateful to hear a bunch of British people in conversation with each other. He opts to just listen to rather than watch the movie; his focus is completely shot.

After a few minutes, Buck sighs and burrows in against Eddie’s side. Instinctively Eddie wraps an arm around his friend. Before he can undo it or reprimand himself for getting too familiar with Buck, the man buries his face against the side of Eddie’s neck.

He’s all too aware of each breath Buck takes, his skin tickling with every exhale. There’s nothing casual or platonic about this and Eddie’s heart aches so painfully in his chest that it takes every ounce of willpower he has to keep breathing. But still, before he can allow himself to truly accept what Buck getting this close to him means, he needs to hear it from the man himself.

“Buck?”

“You didn’t give me a chance to say anything before so I figured I’d show you where my head and heart are instead.”

Eddie sits up slowly, Buck moving with him. Eddie takes in his expression and sees a real clarity in Buck’s eyes that leaves no room for uncertainty that he’s serious. Eddie has spent so long feeling terrified of being presented with this moment but he takes comfort in realizing this isn’t one-sided like he’s feared.

“Is this the part with the big sweeping declaration?” he jokes lamely to work out his nerves.

“I sure hope so. That tends to always be the best part.”

“You’re a lot better at this than me,” he says, rubbing his palm against the front of his jeans.

“To be fair, I watch a lot of romantic comedies in my downtime.”

Eddie can’t help but to laugh at this, grateful for the levity Buck brings to this moment. He cups the man’s cheek and strokes his face lightly with his thumb as he stares into his eyes.

“I’ve never been too good with this sort of stuff but you make me want to figure out a way how to be. Maybe in time I’ll be able to get the words out but, if nothing else, just know that I feel a lot for you, Buck. With you, I feel everything.”

Eddie leans forward and kisses Buck’s forehead, his eyes drifting closed as he lingers for a moment. Buck sighs contentedly, one hand settling on Eddie’s knee. Eddie pulls away then, resting his forehead against Buck’s, his fingers carding gently through his hair at the back of his head. Buck bumps his nose softly to Eddie’s who smiles at the move.

“Crap, sorry,” Buck says, pulling away. “What if you get sick next?”

“I survived Chris’ fever. I think I’ll be fine with yours too. If not, then I’ll just have to commission Abuela to make more soup,” he laughs. “Speaking of which, I should get some for you. Or tea or—”

“No,” Buck interjects, holding on to his wrist gently, keeping him in place. “Please, just...stay here for a little while longer with me?”

Eddie looks at him, takes in that soft pleading look and nods. “Whatever you want.”

Buck smiles at this and lays down on his side. Eddie doesn’t hesitate in spooning him, his arm securing snugly across Buck’s hip. His face burrows in the crook of the man’s neck, chin propped against his shoulder.

“Now will you get some sleep?” he asks quietly.

Buck laughs, light and carefree. “I don’t see how I can be expected to now after all of this,” he replies just as quietly, playing with Eddie’s fingers.

“This feels like Christmas morning as a kid. All that excitement, wondering what’s in store. No,” he continues, shaking his head. “ I couldn’t possibly sleep now. I don’t want to miss a second of what comes next.”

[florenceandthemachine]

prompt: buck hears eddie talking about him over the car's bluetooth speaker (or the other way around!)

sang so loud, sang so clear on AO3 (2.4k) 

It was safe to say that there was no part of his job that Eddie didn’t like. He loved being part of the community. He loved being able to make a positive change in the worst moments of someone’s life. Hell, he loved helping people in general, and that stretched far beyond the ‘call of duty’; so it was no surprise that when Bobby announced a series of fundraisers that the LAFD were participating in, Eddie was probably the only person who didn’t groan in defeat when Station 6 got to host a carnival while the 118 got stuck with a car wash.

He was excited because it was for charity. Not because it meant he got to have an entire weekend free from fire, free to spend some more time with his kid. That wasn’t it at all.

It also wasn’t because he got to spend some more time with Buck, outside of an assortment of burning buildings. That definitely wasn’t it—because despite what Carla said (and what Abuela said, and what Pepa said, and the looks that Hen shot him) he was an adult who had control over himself and had his...emotions regarding Buck under control.

It wasn’t a crush. He was fine. The fact that he had to go through the Starbucks line again after he got Buck’s order to get his own coffee was purely coincidental.

“Dad, can we play my music?”

“Sure, buddy.”

Eddie idly switched through the radio controls on his truck as he pulled onto the highway, smiling at his son in the rear view mirror as Chris pulled out his phone, working with the accessibility controls easily. The device was still pretty new, and Chris was still getting the hang of it, but after the tsunami Eddie would have bought him one phone for each hand if it meant he would know his son was safe at all times. Paranoia aside, Chris had been elated at cataloguing his life whenever he could—they already had digital albums full of Chris and his school friends, his family, and the things he got to do with Carla while Eddie was stuck at work.

Normally on days like today, Carla would have swung by and picked Chris up from the house, but it was easy enough to push that back an hour or so and have her pick Chris up right from the firehouse when he had all but begged to come in to the 118 and say hi to the team.

And hell, if Eddie got his kid to kick up the cuteness near their tip jar? Eddie wouldn’t complain about that, either.

One of Chris’ favorite albums had wrapped to a close when Eddie pulled off the highway, turning down the volume as they started to approach the 118. The morning was still pretty young, but it looked like they already had a pretty good turnout lined up—there were cars wrapped around the station building, in various stages of drying, with a line pretty steadily moving through the main engine bay. It looked like Bobby had moved the trucks out toward the street for added publicity, meaning the entire floor of the station was filled with cars, suds, and pop-ish music (no doubt, courtesy of Chim).

“Eddie, don’t tell me you actually expect us to wash your truck.” Chim snarked from the stairs, his LAFD tee shirt covered in colorful suds and sticking to his skin, and Eddie only smirked as he shoved a twenty into the donation jar. “Come on now, I’m a paying customer! Are you telling me that you’re gonna turn away someone for a charity drive?”

“No, he isn’t. Eddie, here, gimme the keys.” Eddie beamed as he heard Buck’s voice behind him, sticking his tongue out at Chim in a very mature, grown up way as he helped Chris out of the truck. Reaching back into the drivers seat, he pulled the second coffee out of the holder, the iced drink matching his own save for Buck’s added pumps of sugar—and almost keeled over when he turned around.

Look, if there was one thing that Eddie Diaz knew, it was that life was not fair.

His two tours weren’t fair. His son’s CP wasn’t fair. His marriage with Sharon hadn’t been fair.

But pulling up to the 118, stepping out of his truck, and coming face to face with Buck? Buck, who was clad only in his turnout pants and suspenders, who was dripping wet?

Well, that wasn’t just unfair, that was mean.

“See, Chim, this is why the Diaz’s are my favorite. You gotta step up, man, Eddie brought me my favorite coffee and my favorite Chris.”

Buck was thankfully oblivious as Eddie short circuited, bending down to high five Chris, his face brightening when he saw the second coffee in Eddie’s hands. He pulled the coffee and the keys out of Eddie’s shockingly limp grip, turning to Chim triumphantly as Eddie tried to gather his thoughts. His thoughts, which currently needed gathering, because they were tracing the path a drop of water made as it glided along Buck’s shoulder blades, trailed along to the edge of his torso, resting on a hip that Eddie would very much like to bite, thank you, and—

“Buck, I’ll be giving you an actual niece or nephew! That has to rank better than coffee!”

“Well, first of all, Maddie will be giving me an actual niece or nephew.  Second of all…”

Eddie pulled himself back to realist as Buck and Chim started to bicker, eyes suddenly desperate to look anywhere else before he got distracted again. “Hey, uh, I’m going to set Chris up upstairs, we’ll be down in a second.”

He wasn’t sure if he was more thankful for the easy out or for the distance that he got to put between himself and a half naked Buck, but Eddie was nothing if he wasn’t an idiot—so even as he helped Chris set up some papers around the table at the loft, he still found himself peeking over the railing whenever Buck laughed, or shouted, or did anything that could draw Eddie’s attention away from the here and now as he sipped his coffee.

One of his little dalliances must have taken a little longer than before, because he honestly couldn’t telly ou how much time had passed before he heard Chris speak up.

“Dad’s got a crush on Buck, Dad’s got a crush on Buck...”

Eddie felt his head snap up, his face instantly bright red as he almost choked on his iced coffee. He gasped as he saw Chris hiding behind his cell phone, immediately breaking out into giggles as he pointed his camera back and forth from Eddie to where Buck stood in the engine bay. He was quiet enough, thank fuck, so Eddie didn’t have to do any immediate damage control—just had to save face, doing so with an exaggerated flourish as he easily closed the space between he and Chris, picking his son up playfully with one arm as the other snagged his phone from his hand.

“The lies! The deceit! Betrayed by my own son!”

“Daddy, nooo!”

Eddie found himself laughing as he flopped down on to one of the overstuffed couches in the loft, grinning like a fool as Chris wriggled beside him, his phone still secure in Eddie’s hand, out of Chris’ reach.

“Dad’s got a crush on Buck, Dad’s got a crush on Buck...”

Eddie blinked, looking up as he heard Chris’ words repeated, eyes looking at the loop now playing on his phone. It was a Snapchat—one of the few social apps Eddie allowed on Chris’ phone, after Chris had more or less taught him how to use it (and had promised to send Eddie a few selfies throughout the day).

Chris had done the courtesy of zooming on Buck, bending over to scrub at the rims on Eddie’s truck, and then the camera swung back to Eddie, who... missed his own mouth with his straw, several times, trying to sip from his coffee.

Alright, maybe his crush wasn’t as under control as he thought it was.

“Dad’s got a crush on Buck, Dad’s got a crush on Buck...”

Eddie frowned as his ears twinged, suddenly aware that the sound wasn’t coming from Chris’ phone, the looping audio echoing up to the loft. He put his head next to the phone, trying to tell—were the speakers broken? Was something jammed in a port or whatever?

He turned the volume up, frowning, a little disappointed. He had told Chris how important it was to take care of this things, and if his phone had already been dropped or broken, he would have to—

“DAD’S GOT A CRUSH ON BUCK, DAD’S GOT A CRUSH ON BUCK...”

—he would have to crawl into a hole and die, because that sound wasn’t coming from Chris’ phone, it was coming from Eddie’s truck. Eddie’s truck, which was powered on, and still connected to Chris’ phone from their music this morning.

Eddie’s truck, which thanks to his own idiocy had every speaker blasting, and had a bright red Buck bent over the hood—frozen, like Eddie seemed to be, his face unreadable as he stared up at Eddie in the loft up above the bay. Eddie felt his body go numb as Chris finally stole his phone back, the sound thankfully stopping as he locked his phone.

“Oh fuck.”

“Ooh, you owe a dollar to Carla’s swear jar.”

-

“There’s my number one guy! Chris, how’re you doing?”

Eddie managed to successfully avoid everyone for the better part of an hour—it was easy enough to do, considering they still had a line out the door of people waiting to get their cars scrubbed down by the 118. He felt a small moment of dread spike through his heart as Carla managed to seek them out—he would have a zero chance of hiding if he didn’t have his ‘son-shield’ up.

Eddie managed a small smile as Carla ruffled Chris’ hair, clearing his throat. “Hey, Carla, you brought your van today right?”

“Sure did, what’s up?”

“Oh, nothing. I just need to lie down behind your rear wheels so you can put me out of your misery before you leave.”

“... uh huh.” Carla rose her brow as Chris shoved his papers and markers into his backpack, looking at Eddie in a way that was almost pitying. “Daddy accidentally megaphoned his crush on Buck to the entire station, so he’s been hiding upstairs and helping me draw instead of helping with charities.”

Well, that was one way to put it, though Eddie would have preferred a way that made him feel less of a dick. He winced as he nodded his head, clearing his throat as Carla’s eyes widened. “And that’s why Daddy has to go throw himself into traffic.”

“Well, I would prefer it if you didn’t.” Eddie felt his entire body tense as he heard Buck behind him, only managing a weak wave as Carla whisked Chris off down the stairs—his protests of “but Carla, I wanna listen!” making Eddie go even redder.

At the very least, he wasn’t alone in that boat. Buck was an absolutely delightful shade of pink, and Eddie was fucking distraught to learn that Buck’s blush went all the way down to his chest, because for some reason the other man still hadn’t put on a shirt. Normally, Eddie would have been delighted to see that, but after having his feelings so publicly (even if intentionally) put on blast, all that he wanted was to be swallowed up by the floor.

“Don’t worry, I’d make sure Chim had to scrape me off the pavement, you wouldn’t have to worry about it.” Eddie said, his humor landing a little dark—Buck didn’t laugh, but his smile did grow, and Eddie counted that as a win as he sighed. “Look, Buck, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make things weird and I don’t want to—“

“Oh, Eddie, I’m not here to talk about that, I just wanted to get your help scrubbing on the floor.”

Oh. The car wash, right. Eddie felt his stomach drop as he swallowed, processing what Buck had said, nodding his head. Buck wanted to look past it, pretend it hadn’t happened. That was... fine. Eddie hitched a smile onto his face, nodding his head as he looked down the floor, finding the tie of his own boots fascinating. “Yeah, no, you’re right. Sorry I was putting it off, I’ll grab some towels and I can—“

“Actually, you should start washing up with me. I was thinking we could make a bet out of it.”

Eddie looked back up, curiosity outweighing all the weight in his stomach as he tilted his head, trying to get a read on Buck—even if all he could see was that delicious blush, trailing down Buck’s neck and fucking Christ, across his chest. “A bet? Buck, I don’t know if—”

“Whoever gets the most tips has to pay for dinner... tonight? After we’ve dried off?”

Eddie felt his jaw click shut as Buck cut him off again, his brain trying to work a mile a minute as he caught up with what Buck had said.

Because if he didn’t know any better, if sounded like Buck was asking him out on a date.

“Buck, you... you? Me, when... you really... when I...”

“Eddie, will you please just say yes? I was going to ask you an hour ago, but you’ve been hiding very unsuccessfully from me.”

Buck was asking him out to dinner. Buck was asking, him, Eddie Diaz, out to dinner, after Eddie all but humiliated himself. Buck had been waiting since that moment to ask Eddie out to dinner. Oh this, this he could certainly work with.

“So… dinner, huh? You’re on. But if you’re going to be working in just your turnouts, so am I.”

Yeah, he could work with that. And two could play at this game.

(If Carla was laughing when Eddie explained their little bet over the phone later, she was all but howling when Eddie admitted he won, asking if she could watch Chris for a few more hours and for recommendations as to where he could take Buck on their first date—even as Chris shouted “good luck, dad!” over the phone.)

[sulkybbarnes]

This is a birthday present for one of my most favorite people and a wonderful, beautiful person! @letitialewiss I love you tons and I hope that this little fic brings you a smile today. Happy birthday, Kim 💖💕

“If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more.”

-Jane Austen, Emma

The problem with Eddie’s feelings is that they tend to get all encompassing, until they’re clinging to every inch of him, covering every piece of cloth he wears, trailing behind him on the floor. 

He always feels things deeply, be it grief or love or joy. Feelings tend to grip Eddie’s heart and make a home there until he is ready -or willing- to express them. And it’s that latter part, really, that gives him the most trouble. While Eddie feels every emotion and holds it close, he can seldom find a way to describe how he feels, the words sticking in his throat and refusing to budge. 

He’s become better with it over the years by virtue of becoming a father and an adult, he’s a far ways away from where he started years ago. No longer holding everything in until it tears him to shreds, but he needs practice still. Growing up the way he did, with expectations and responsibilities always looming over him, made it far easier to bottle things in or set them aside rather than voicing them.

Eddie taught himself to talk out his thoughts and emotions with Chris, making sure to set a good example for his son. He talks to Chris about grief and love and fear, in small portions and words carefully chosen to show his son that he is allowed to feel things and voice them too. He tells Chris that he loves him often, and he’s never had any trouble expressing that love and gratitude for his little boy, but that talent seems to extend only to Chris and things that have to do with his well being. Outside of matters connecting to his son’s happiness and safety, Eddie has a harder time voicing his feelings. Especially when they connected to Eddie’s happiness and well being.

Eddie struggles with waves of grief that crash over him without prior warning, and he still tells his abuela that he’s fine when she asks. He feels exhausted between work, house chores, and being a single parent, yet brushes off Hen’s concern with a smile. His heart is overtaken with longing when Buck does something endearing, but he shakes his head and laughs it off when Buck asks Something on my face? 

He acknowledges these feelings, he just doesn’t necessarily know how to voice them yet. Be it to ask for help or to tell a certain someone that their smile makes Eddie’s days more bearable. This isn’t a new problem, but it’s one he’s only been working through over the past two years or so. Eddie is getting better at it, he is, but some things can’t wait for him to work through every learned behavior and every wall he put up to protect himself. And so, Eddie decides to take action where words fail him.

It’s a simple enough solution, really. 

Eddie knows his heart and the way it beats differently whenever he’s around Buck, and if he can’t outright tell Buck how he feels then he can show him. He made the realization about his feelings quite some time ago and spent hours in his own head since; examining every moment from different angles and thinking through what it all means. He reaches a conclusion, after months of carefully not putting a name to what he feels, when it all comes crashing down around him soon after the train wreck and his run-in with Abby. 

The protectiveness Eddie felt that day towards Buck was a fierce thing that couldn’t be ignored. Eddie wanted to grab Buck and shield him from hurt. He wanted to hold his face and ask what Buck needed Eddie to do. He wanted to tell Buck that he loved him, and that Eddie and Chris would never walk away from him. Every thought and emotion that came after that day resonated throughout Eddie’s body and lived in every part of him. He couldn’t tame the feelings or leave them unnamed. 

Eddie loves Buck. He loves him fiercely and completely, the way you can only love someone you know like your own heart. 

Eddie knows this beyond a doubt. He names the feeling and sits with it for a while, then embraces it and makes his decision. He loves Buck, and he thinks -hopes, really- that Buck might feel the same way. And so, all Eddie has to do now is show Buck, if he can’t outright tell him. 

He has to put his heart out there to be weighed and measured, and to hopefully not be found wanting. So. Piece of cake.

-------

The problem with trying to woo Evan Buckley is that Evan Buckley seems to have absolutely no fucking clue when he’s being wooed. It isn’t because Buck is oblivious or unaware, but the fact that they’re as close as they are makes any attempt at typical romance futile. Eddie asks Buck out for dinner but it ends up being another Tuesday night with them having dinner and drinks like they do every other week. He allows himself to be tactile, brushing against Buck more as they walk, or putting a hand to his arm, but quickly realizes that these touches aren’t out of the ordinary. In fact, they’re so tactile that it’s habit now and Eddie only noticed just how tactile they are when he tried to up the ante. Next, Eddie tries to cook them dinner and it turns into a memorable night of him and Buck and Chris cooking together, and his son and best friend gently teasing Eddie about his cooking skills all evening. He even tries complimenting Buck’s shirt, an endeavor that earns him a knowing look from Hen and a smirk from Chim, only to have Buck smile bashfully and duck his head with mumbled thanks. 

Eddie’s most recent attempt was to bring Buck flowers when he and Chris visited him for game night a couple of weeks ago. However Buck took the flowers from Chris with a beaming smile and a comment on how the Diazes always knew how to brighten up a place. Chris went into an excited spiel about gardening and growing flowers at school with his teacher which Buck listened to with rapt attention and a wide smile, and that had been the end of that.

None of the little casual steps to dating someone would work on Buck, and Eddie quickly realizes that the reason behind it is that he and Buck have been doing almost everything a couple would do for a long time now. They’re too intertwined for a dinner invitation or casual touches to spell out romance. Every attempt he makes at a gesture ends with Buck giving Eddie grateful smiles and warm looks, but remaining completely unaware of Eddie’s intentions. Making Buck happy and spending time with him is always a triumph, but Eddie’s heart aches with the need for more. To hold Buck’s hand, and kiss him, and whisper to him all the things Eddie would never tell anyone else.

“You’re being very quiet tonight,” Buck says, nudging Eddie gently until Eddie looks at him. They are at Eddie’s apartment as is the habit these day when they’re both off from work. Chris is stretched out on the couch between them, watching a movie with his head resting on Eddie’s lap and his legs stretched out towards Buck.

“Just thinking,” Eddie shrugs with a half smile, willing his voice to remain steady and casual.

“Really, is Mulan giving you a lot to think about just now?” Buck asks in a teasing tone which draws a laugh out of Eddie. He has lost count of how many times he and Buck have sat through the same Disney movies with Chris. Eddie tends to use the time to tune out and occasionally rest his eyes for a bit, while Buck makes comments and exchanges looks with Eddie when Chris laughs at them.

“It’s a very serious movie,” Eddie answers gravely and relishes Buck’s amused grin. Buck focuses back on the movie -always far more invested than he’d like to let on- and Eddie takes the opportunity to look at him. The ease with which Buck inhabits this space, the gentle upturn of his lips, and the laughing looks he shoots Eddie when Chris giggles at something. 

The entire evening so far has been another domestic night that Eddie wouldn’t trade for the world.

Earlier, Eddie has watched with quiet amusement as Buck reacted dramatically to Chris’s comments about the movie before this one. Eddie had been so entertained by their combined theatrics that he had relented at the end of the first movie and allowed a second one for the night. Now Eddie looks between them and feels his heart bursting with warmth. His hand itches to reach for Buck’s hand and he fights the urge down for what feels like the hundredth time tonight. 

Buck shoots him a questioning look as if sensing Eddie’s eyes on him. Buck’s lips twitch again into another smile that Eddie isn’t sure what to make of, but it gets Eddie smiling too. They go on that way for a while, slowly exchanging longer looks until neither of them is looking at the screen anymore.

“TV is that way,” Buck remarks lightly after a little while, tone still teasing and a little playful. Eddie loves him like this, with mirth in his eyes and a boyish smile. “You should be watching the movie.”

“The boss is asleep, so I’ll get away with it,” Eddie says, gesturing at a now-sleeping Chris. 

Buck laughs softly and rests one hand on the headrest between them. He looks down and bites his lower lip -immediately drawing Eddie’s eyes there- then shoots another unreadable look at Eddie. 

“You gonna tell me what you’re actually thinking about now?”

Eddie mulls this over for a few seconds then figures -sure, why the hell not. 

“Let me take Chris inside and then we’ll see about that.” Eddie answers and appreciates that Buck accepts this with an easy hum. 

They work around each other in perfect harmony; Eddie scooping Chris up in his arms to take him to his bedroom, while Buck pauses the movie and starts cleaning up. By the time Eddie comes back outside, Buck has moved to the kitchen and is putting leftovers away in the fridge. 

“You don’t have to do that,” Eddie says as he always does and gets rewarded with an eyeroll from Buck. Eddie falls into place next to Buck, silently doing the dishes and mulling over what to say. This too is a familiar dance for them; easily working together be it at a rescue mission or at home to make dinner or clean up. 

Eddie finishes up then turns around to watch Buck’s back as he puts things away. If usual dating steps won’t cut it for making his feelings known, then Eddie will have to voice how he feels. Outright tell Buck what he’s thinking. He could kiss Buck and that should say it all but a small barrier of doubt holds Eddie back. He needs to know that Buck wants this as much as Eddie does before taking that leap. 

“I’ve been trying to date someone,” Eddie blurts out before he can overthink it, then realizes that he said someone instead of you and closes his eyes in quiet despair. Old habits.

“Oh,” Buck frowns and puts down the two beers he had just retrieved. He looks away long enough to get the bottle opener, but when he turns back it’s with a smile. Eddie thinks it looks forced. “That’s great. Is that what got you all quiet? And what do you mean trying?”

“I mean I keep doing dating stuff but it won’t stick. All the dating things I’m doing are being read as friendship.” Eddie elaborates a bit, curious to see if Buck will catch on.

“What kinda stuff?” Buck hands over Eddie’s bottle but keeps some space between them. Eddie is now positive that the smile and cheer are forced. His stomach does a little sweep at the implication.

“Giving compliments, going out for dinner, cooking together, spending the day together, long phone calls -you name it,” Eddie keeps his voice steady, fully sure that Buck will catch on by the end and feeling his heartbeat double its speed. Buck blinks at Eddie then takes a long swig of beer.

“Cooking together sounds really serious,” Buck volunteers with a measured tone, “but I guess it can be read as friendship depending on the situation. Although if you have done all these other things and she still doesn’t get it, you should just say something. Or buy her flowers.”

Eddie almost starts laughing at the memory of Buck thanking Chris for the flowers Eddie bought Buck a couple of weeks ago. 

“Did the flowers thing too,” Eddie raises his eyebrows and can no longer bite down an amused smile.

“Damn, that didn’t work?” Buck sounds genuinely offended now on Eddie’s behalf which makes the whole thing funnier. “How could that not have worked?”

“Well, it apparently didn’t spill out what I wanted it to, but it brought on a smile so no loss there.” Eddie answers truthfully then feels his chest squeeze tight when Buck’s face falls. “You really have no idea what I’m talking about, huh?”

Buck gives a weak smile at that and shrugs. 

“Guess I wasn’t as caught up on your life as I thought I was, Eddie.”

Eddie knows every expression Buck wears and has cataloged every look and smile Buck has shared in his presence, so he knows that everything about Buck at the moment screams of insecurity and false cheer. Eddie can’t stand the thought of making Buck feel that way.

“How did you like the flowers I brought you two weeks ago?” Eddie says conversationally. 

“They were beautiful,” Buck’s eyebrows shoot up at the sudden change in conversation but his face breaks into a real smile. “lilies and roses. I tried to keep them alive as long as I could.”

“And the dinner I cooked for you a week before that, did you like that too?”

“Chris and I did most of the cooking,” Buck rolls his eyes but laughs; the conversation being one they’ve had several times already. “But if you want to call chopping stuff up cooking for someone, then be my-”

Buck trails off towards the end of his sentence. Realization finally -finally- dawning. 

“Oh.” Buck says, and then, “Eddie?”

“I’ve been trying to date you,” Eddie states, the words springing into the air between them and anxiously waiting for Buck’s response. “I think we skipped the usual dating stage but I had to try for it. To properly date you.”

“You had to try,” Buck repeats, tone disbelieving but with an undercurrent of laughter “To date me. Because..?”

“Because I like you, Buck,” Eddie breathes out, the words expanding through his chest and almost mocking him with how much of an understatement they are. “I like you a lot. Enough to buy flowers and attempt cooking and agonize over how to tell you that green makes you look great. Hell, if I liked you less I might have been able to say something sooner.”

Love. If I loved you less, Eddie thinks, but doesn’t say it yet.

Buck is almost gaping by the time Eddie is done talking. He blinks a few times in quick succession, and then finally ducks his head with the most beautiful smile Eddie has seen to date.

“I like you too,” Buck says quietly, then laughs at Eddie’s questioning look, “A stupid, embarrassing amount. Shit. If I had known that’s what the flowers and the compliments were for. Eddie, I’d have-” Buck lets out a slow breath, “I just couldn’t let myself hope. I wanted it too much.”

Eddie finally breeches the few steps between them and moves to plant himself in front of Buck. He reaches up a hand to cup Buck’s jaw and run his thump against the stubble on Buck’s cheek.

“Will you go out on a date with me, Buck?” Eddie asks warmly, his eyes not leaving Buck’s face and his smiling lips for a second.

“Yeah. Yes,” Buck grins, “And I think I owe you dinner for-” Buck shrugs, “Taking this long to get it.”

“Get it? I literally had to tell you,” Eddie points out laughingly, because he might be dying to kiss Buck but it’s his duty as Buck’s best friend to never let him live this down. 

“Yeah, yeah, okay.” Buck groans and squeezes his eyes shut before giving an exasperated sigh. “I guess I owe you flowers too and-”

Eddie never gets to hear what else he’s owed because his self control finally snaps and he kisses Buck mid-sentence. It’s messy at first but so exhilarating that Eddie feels a rush through his body. He pulls back momentarily to look at Buck and finds him smiling blissfully with his eyes closed. 

Eddie swoops in for another kiss, this one slower and lasting longer. He runs a hand through Buck’s hair, grabs gently at his cheek with the other, while Buck’s own hands press against the small of Eddie’s back and occasionally roam to his waist.

When they break apart, they’re both panting for breath and smiling. Buck rests his forehead against Eddie’s for a few heartbeats, and one of his hands comes up to cup Eddie’s jaw. 

“I forgot what I was going to say,” Buck laughs.

“Doesn’t matter,” Eddie kisses the corner of Buck’s mouth and relishes the smile it draws. “We have plenty of time for you to remember. Maybe on our next date.” 

Eddie punctuates that statement with another kiss. 

Buck, seemingly no longer interested in words, hums his assent then kisses Eddie hungrily, effectively ensuring that Eddie forgets his words too for the moment. Eddie thinks that it isn’t such a loss because he now knows how to show Buck his feelings, and he knows that -when he needs them again- the words will be there for Eddie to tell Buck just how much he feels about him.

Eddie’s chest thrums with excitement at the prospect of a future spent telling Evan Buckley how much he loves him, but he elects to let their kisses do the talking for now. There will be plenty of time for words later.

AO3 link in reblogs!

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: Spider-Man Movie Villains

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

Spider-Man, Spider-Man, he does whatever a spider can. And what do spiders seem really good at? Amassing huge quantities of hatred and animosity! True to the wily arachnids that inspired him, Spider-Man has quite the impressive gallery of foes, one that I might say rivals Batman as the greatest in comic book history with how colorful, crazy, and creative they are. Even villains derivative of one another, like Hobgoblin and Green Goblin or Carnage and Venom, manage to carve out unique niches that help make them fun and memorable.

And thankfully, these qualities usually translated pretty well to film! I’ve talked about how good Mysterio, Vulture, Kingpin, and Prowler are before, so now it’s time to cover the others all in one fell swoop! From the Raimi trilogy, we have Green Goblin, Doctor Octopus, Harry Osborn, Sandman, and Eddie Brock/Venom; from the Andrew Garfield duology, we have Lizard, Electro, Rhino, and Harry Osborn again; and leftover from Into the Spider-Verse we have Olivia Octavius, Tombstone, Scorpion, and that film’s brief take on Green Goblin! Oh, and why not throw in Riot from Venom while we’re at it, because he sucks way too much to get his own Psycho Analysis.

Motivation/Goals: A lot of villains are motivated by the classic motivation: revenge. All of the Green Goblins manage to have this as a main part of their actions, making them remarkably consistent and very easy to discuss. The Norman of the Raimi films wants to take out his anger at being frozen out of his own company, and his son wants revenge for his death, while the Harry of the Garfield films wants his vengeance because Spider-Man wouldn’t help cure him of his otherwise incurable disaease that would kill him (a fact made worse because Spider-Man is his actual best friend, Peter Parker, who is coldly condemning his pal to death). The only one who doesn’t really fit is the Spider-Verse take on Green Goblin, and that’s more because he has extremely limited screentime and spends all of it fighting Peter and being scary as hell.

Eddie Brock/Venom is a very interesting case as both halves of the character are motivated by different reasons. The symbiote half is, of course, motivated by the fact that Peter has tried to rid himself of it via using a church bell to kill it. Eddie, on the other hand, has the most absolutely hilarious motivation ever: He wants Peter Parker to die because Peter exposed him for submitting fraudulent pictures to J. Jonah Jameson. Eddie literally breached journalistic ethics but apparently Peter’s to blame for exposing his literal, actual crime! And he prays to God for Peter to die! This version of Eddie is cartoonishly hilarious.Finally, we have Max Dillon, AKA Electro, who is lashing out at a world that did nothing but belittle and demean him, giving him a far more sympathetic motive for revenge.

Kurt Connors is an interesting halfway point between the Doc Ocks and the villains above, because he is not really evil and his whole transformation came about for altruistic scientific reasons, as he tested his serum on himself because they were going to test it out on the public without consent. While the serum drives him mad, he initially only goes after those who were going to use his formula with people as guinea pigs.

Interestingly, the two Doc Ocks contrast each other. While both of them are doing evil deeds for scientific reasons, Otto Octavius is being forced by his tentacles and genuinely wishes to make the world a better place otherwise. Olivia, on the other hand, is a gleeful sadist who doesn’t care who she hurts as long as she can get some sort of scientific knowledge from it.

Sandman is interesting case because his motivations are entirely sympathetic and despite being the man who killed Uncle Ben, it was entirely accidental and he always regretted it. He only ever wanted to get money to save his daughter. It’s really hard not to sympathize with a guy who turned to desperate measures because the American health care system sucks even in a universe where a dude dressed in a bright red suit swings around New York.

Then there are all the rest. Aleksei Systevich, AKA Rhino, is just a criminal, and has barely any screentime to establish a motivation beyond that. This is especially hilarious because the ads really hyped this guy up, only for him to get maybe five minutes of screentime, with most of it at the very end of the movie before the credits (we don’t even get to see his final battle). Tombstone and Scorpion are basically just lackeys for Kingpin, with little established beyond that. Scorpion almost shows up entirely out of nowhere, just popping in for the fight at Aunt May’s house and then the final battle. And then there’s Riot, who just wants to start a symbiote apocalypse on Earth.

Performance: Willem Dafoe, Alfred Molina, and Thomas Haden Church as Green Goblin, Doctor Octopus, and Sandman in the Raimi trilogy are, in a word, iconic. Dafoe brings a gleeful, cackling hamminess to the Goblin that perfectly suits him and manages to steal every single with how delightfully, cartoonishly evil he is combined with some hilariously chummy moments with Spider-Man. Molina as Ock goes in the opposite direction of hamminess, where instead of making Octavius cartoonishly evil, he gives him this air of gravitas to the point where he somehow manages to make this villain with giant metal tentacles that are controlling his mind come off as sophisticated and serious as Hannibal Lecter. Church meanwhile just looks eerily perfect as Sandman, as if he were ripped straight from the comics and put onscreen, and then of course there’s how well he manages to sell the emotional moments of the character.

The Harrys are a rather mixed bag, sad to say. James Franco and Dennis DeHaan aren’t really bad actors, but they unfortunately have the problem of living in the shadow of the actor who played their dad (Franco) or being in a really awful movie with a terrible script (DeHaan). Franco at least makes up for this by being hilariously, cartoonishly evil to the extent of his dad in the third Raimi film, but DeHaan unfortunately falls rather flat. Topher Grace as Venom is a choice that seems baffling until you realize Raimi cast an actor like this on purpose because he hates Venom so much he didn’t want to give him any dignity.

Jamie Foxx as Electro seems odd at first, but I feel it’s actually a great casting choice, and despite how unbelievably stupid the script is, he’s actually able to do a fairly good job. If his character was in a better movie, he’d probably get a lot less flak (and he’ll be getting his chance soon enough, apparently). Overall, he’s the best part of the Garfield films. Rhys Ifans and Paul Giamatti as Lizard and Rhino are serviceable, but neither film they’re in really gives them much to work with. Giamatti at least gets to steal the show with his brief scenes by being an absolute ham, but Ifans is sadly a bit forgettable in his role (though not for lack of trying on his part).

Now onto the Spider-Verse ensemble! Considering how I gushed over her delightful performance as the Wicked Witch of Westview in WandaVision as well as the fact she is solely responsible for me resurrecting this series from its long hiatus, it should come as no shock at all that Kathryn Hahn as Olivia Octavius is just perfect. Controversial opinion, I know, might get some flak for this hot take. Jorma Taccone as Green Goblin, Joaquin Cosio as Scorpion, and Marvin Jones III as Tombstone all do well for what they’re given, but it’s clear most of the love among Kingpin’s henchmen was given to her (and Prowler, but he got his own review where I talked about how great he is).

Oh, right, Riot. I forgot about him. Riz Ahmed, who plays the human villain Carlton Drake I forgot to mention because he’s incredibly boring, is a really good (and sexy) actor. Unfortunately, he doesn’t get to be quite as good and sexy as an actor like him should be in his dual role. In an interesting subversion of how things usually go, he ends up being rather bland compared to the hammy, bonkers hero. This was Tom Hardy’s show, and no one was stealing it from him.

Final Fate: The Raimi films were all made during a time when, if your name wasn’t Magneto and you were a superhero movie villain, you were dying, a trend I’m certainly glad is finally starting to die off. Thankfully, Green Goblin manages to stick around and posthumously influence Harry, so in his case it’s not so bad. Harry and Doc Ock both manage to overcome the darkness in their hearts at the end and sacrifice their lives to help save the day, while Eddie dies after becoming such a simp for the symbiote he leaps into it while Peter is blowing it up. With Sandman, Peter actually has a touching reconciliation with Sandman at the end, forgiving him for the death of Uncle Ben before Sandman dissolves into dust and floats away on the breeze. And no, this is his power, not Thanos’ snap reaching across time, space, and dimensions; Sandman actually gets out of these films alive.

The other villains actually get off easier, as most of them go to jail. From the Amazing Spider-Man films, DeHaan’s Goblin and Rhys Ifan’s Lizard both end up in prison, and it’s safe to assume that the villains of Spider-Verse are going to jail alongside Kingpin. Octavius was hit by a bus, sure, but considering how popular she ended up being it would be really dumb to have that actually kill her. With Electro and Rhino though, it’s really ambiguous, the former because he’s made of electricity and the way he was defeated means it is possible he survived, and the latter because we never actually see the outcome of his battle with Spider-Man. If the film they were in was actually good and warranted sequels, we may have found out what their true fates were, but at the very least Electro is moving over to the MCU alongside Molina’s Doc Ock.

Oh, right, forgot Riot again. He dies.

Best Scene/Best Quote: I’m combining these this time just to make it easier on me, because in at least in a couple cases the two are the same.

Green Goblin has a lot to choose from, to the point where it’s easy to cop out and just say every scene he’s in is amazing. I’ve always been fond of his chummy chat with Spider-Man on the rooftop, or the scene where he terrifies Aunt May, or the scene where he attacks the parade and vaporizes the board of directors with pumpkin bombs.

Dock Ock is easy: the train battle. This might be one of the best action scenes in any superhero movie ever, and since he’s the villain in it, it almost goes without saying..There’s a reason this scene is singled out so often.

Eddie Brock and DeHaan Goblin actually have their best scenes also be their best lines. Eddie praying for God to kill Peter Parker and DeHaan!Harry screaming “YOU’RE A FRAUD, SPIDER-MAN!” after Spidey refuses to give him a life-saving blood transfusion are just so absolutely hilarious and memorable that you can’t hate them.

Aside from the powerful forgiveness moment at the film’s end, I think it’s really indisputable that the best scene from Sandman, and perhaps the Raimi trilogy as a whole, is the scene of Sandman’s creation. Words really can’t do it justice, so just watch:

Electro’s best moment isn’t even actually part of the movie, unless you want to count his rendition of “The Itsy-Bitsy Spider.” No, his is from a Tumblr post, proving definitively that Electro’s power can not be contained.

For Olivia, I’d say either of the reveals for her are great. You can go with the twist that she’s the Doc Ock of Miles’ universe, or the twist that she might have fucked Aunt May. Either way, you can’t really go wrong.

The rest of the villains… yeah, I’ve got nothing. At least with Rhino you can say his entire time on screen was fun, but the rest? Nope. They’re kind of just there.

Final Thoughts & Score:

Green Goblin

Where to begin with this guy? He is everything I look for in a great villain: he’s hammy and cartoonish, he can be terrifying and threatening when he wants to be, he has a ridiculous yet memorable costume, every word out of his mouth is hilarious and memorable, and he’s played by an amazing actor. It’s hard to dispute that Doc Ock is the best villain in Raimi’s trilogy, but Goblin is definitely the most fun. If you thought he’d get less than a 10/10, you thought wrong.

Doctor Octopus

Aside from Green Goblin, Doc Ock is Spidey’s most iconic and memorable foe, nd this adaptation of him does not disappoint. By making him a more tragic and somewhat anti-villainous figure and putting him in the hands of someone as awesome and talented as Alfred Molina, they managed to make such a cartoonish villain retain that comic book silliness while still being a legitimately imposing antagonist. I suppose it helps that a director who knows how to balance silly and serous like Raimi helps. It’s absolutely not a shock that the MCU wants to bring Molina back, because really, I can’t see anyone making the dubious doctor nearly as cool as the 10/10 performance Molina gave.

Harry Osborn

Franco’s Harry has an interesting arc, but one that doesn’t make a whole lot of sense under scrutiny. Frankly, his descent into villain is handled well but when he actually gets to be a villain in the third film, things fall apart.. But at any rate, he gets to be cartoonishly hilarious while he pettily ruins Peter’s life, so I think a 3/10 is warranted just for how goofy he is.

Eddie Brock/Venom

For the longest time, I hated Eddie Brock, but loved the Venom symbiote for its fantastic design… A design hampered by the fact Topher Grace keeps sticking his face through the symbiote and talking in his normal voice. But then one day I remembered Eddie literally prays to God for Peter Parker to die, and I realize that as crappy as this version of Venom is, he’s undoubtedly hilarious. A 3/10 mainly because of how hilariously bad he is, though the design of the symbiote is unironically great. Shame Grace kept sticking his face through and that Raimi hates the character.

Sandman

Sandman is a villain who deserved a better movie. Sure, Spider-Man 3 is fun and funny, but a character with this much depth and emotional weight deserved a film of the caliber of Spider-Man 2. At any rate, he adds a bit of class and dignity to the proceedings, and Thomas Haden Church really nails it. He’s a 9/10 for sure.

Lizard

Lizard is just a very boring villain, which is a shame because Lizard is not a boring villain in the comics and other media like the cartoons. I don’t really know if he was the best choice for Spider-Man’s first outing; I’ll at least give him that he’s a more inspired choice than doing the Green Goblin again, but that doesn’t score him higher than a 4/10. As boring as he ends up being, that library fight was pretty cool and had a great Stan Lee cameo, so I can’t say he’s the bottom of the barrel.

Electro

Electro is a villain who desperately deserved a better movie. While his backstory as a nerdy fanboy who got kicked around by the world is nothing new, or fresh, or original, Jamie Foxx manages to make the character work fairly well even though almost everything around him is unbelievably stupid. The fact he managed to make “Don’t you know? I’m Electro” sound cool and badass is a testament to his skill, and thankfully he’s coming back in the MCU in some way, so I guess Electro’s power can not be contained to a single movie. Still, this iteration only manages to get to a 6/10, because while all the elements of greatness are there, he’s hampered by the abysmal writing.

Rhino

Paul Giamatti certainly looks like he’s having a blast here. His attitude is almost infectious, but alas, his time is too brief to bring any great joy, and his jarring appearance out of nowhere at the end of the film certainly do him no favors. Still, Giamatti keeps Rhino from sinking any lower than a 5/10.

Harry Osborn

This Harry is just a joke. His arc makes no sense, his actions are unbelievable, and he ends up looking like a really poor Warwick Davis Leprechaun cosplayer. The only thing of note about him is that he’s a Harry who becomes the Green Goblin before his father, something that doesn’t happen very often, and that’s not enough to score this loser higher than a 2/10. Not even killing Gwen Stacy makes him any more impressive, and that’s a real shame.

Olivia Octavius

Olivia Octavius is widely beloved by just about everyone who sees the film.. myself included. This is just a really fun, clever twist on Doctor Octopus, and it’s the sort of character you really hope gets a Harley Quinn-level break into becoming an iconic character across multiple forms of media. Kathryn Hahn’s fun performance and the wonderful design and fight sequences really make Olivia a 9/10.

Tombstone

Tombstone is a villain you might actually forget is in the movie, which is a damn shame. He’s an albino black man, a badass bodyguard, and has a striking design, but he gets a single line of dialogue and is tasked with bodyguarding a man who not only has cyborgs under his employ, but who murdered Spider-Man with his bare hands. Tombstone ultimately feels really superfluous, which is a shame because around the same time Into the Spider-Verse came out he had a very memorable and well-liked appearance in the Spider-Man video game. It’s a real shame but I gotta give this version of Tombstone a 2/10.

Scorpion

Scorpion has a lot of problems of Tombstone above, but he makes up for a lot of his flaws by having a really cool and striking design. Does it really make him a great villain? No. He’s not particularly well-characterized and he’s really just there to look cool and give Olivia backup. He’s a 4/10 at best, saved from being lower only by his awesome look. Looking cool really can get you far in some cases.

Green Goblin

Out of all the really minor villains in Spider-Verse, this version of Norman might be the best. His role is tiny, only appearing during the scene where the Peter Parker of Miles’ universe gets killed, but his battle with Spider-Man is what sets the entire plot in motion. His cool and terrifying design definitely help make him stand out enough to earn at least a 6/10.

Riot & Carlton Drake

Look, there’s a reason I kept forgetting these guys. They’re not memorable in the slightest. Venom may be a fantastic work of art, but that’s because Tom Hardy kills it in his dual role as Eddie Brock and the Venom symbiote. Drake is just a boring corporate villain, the kind I hate talking about and the kind I’d only ever even bother mentioning in a review like this. And Riot is just a generic Big Gray CGI Monster for the hero to have a final battle with. Neither of these two are particularly interesting, and neither deserves more than a 2/10.

That’s it, right? There can’t be any more villains, I must have covered them all. Well, not quite. There’s one more character who is most certainly an antagonist and who I really, really want to talk about. And you’re absolutely not going to believe who it is.

You ready?

Psycho Analysis: Emo Peter

“Now wait,” you may be asking, “Emo Peter? Really? How does he count as a villain?” Well, as Schafrillas pointed out in his video on Spider-Man 3, Emo Peter is actually the antagonist for much of the second act. Peter, influenced by the symbiote, becomes a raging jackass and hurts and alienates everyone around him by being a colossal douchebag, not to mention how violent he gets as Spider-Man. This is very much an extreme case of the hero’s greatest enemy being themselves, because literally, Peter’s enemy in the chunk of the movie with Emo Peter is his own overinflated ego

Motivation/Goals: I mean, at the end of the day, it’s still Peter. He still wants to do the typical Peter Parker stuff, he’s just a jackass while he does it.

Performance: It’s Tobey Maguire busting loose and getting to act like an absolute doofus. There is literally nothing about this that isn’t amazing and I’m sorry if you can’t see it.

Final Fate: Peter eventually comes to realize that maybe the symbiote making him act like an egomaniacal tool is not a good thing, and so rebels against it, ultimately leading him to the roof of a church where Eddie Brock is praying for him to die and, well, the rest is history.

Best Scene:

Best Dance Move:

Final Thoughts & Score: Emo Peter has gotten a bad reputation over the years, but Schafrillas’ video really made me rethink why. As he puts it, Emo Peter comes off not as someone cool, but as what a loser thinks a cool person would be (which makes him still a loser). It seems fairly likely that the audience isn’t supposed to be rooting for Emo Peter or finding him cool, but instead finding him insufferable, ridiculous, and funny. We’re supposed to be laughing at Peter’s egomania, at his absurd and hammy showboating, not cheering him on and desiring to emulate him.

And that ultimately makes it more satisfying when Peter overcomes his ego and decides to rid himself of the symbiote. It might seem like I’m giving Spider-Man 3 a lot of credit here, but even Sam Raimi half-assing a movie wouldn’t leave things completely devoid of underlying brilliance. Emo Peter isn’t a villain in the sense that he’s some superpowered antagonist, he’s a physical representation of the negative impacts of fame and ego on Peter. This is Peter letting go of what makes him a hero and just reveling in being an absolute jerkwad to everyone around him.

I love the memes as much as everyone else of course, but Emo Peter is also a pretty clever symbolic foe. But even though I’m giving him an 8/10, we all know the real reason why he’s scoring so high:

Ok, but that’s it now, right? No more Spider-Man villains? Well, maybe for now. But don’t forget:

There’s gonna be Carnage.

[ponykidcurtis]

BUCK + TRAPPED UNDER RUBBLE PLS 💕

love that you’re the first to send a prompt :) this is 100% designed to hurt you specifically. have fun!!

(we’re playing fanfic bingo if anybody wants to join in)

Buck really needs to stop jinxing things. It happens every time; the moment he lets himself think that things are going to work out for him, for the team, it all goes to shit immediately. It’s like the universe is listening, waiting to show him just how much bad luck a person can have in their life. He’s getting pretty tired of it. But, endlessly optimistic as he always tries to be, he lets himself hope things will work out anyway. Yeah, maybe it’s a little bit out of spite. Suck it, universe.

Of course, that just makes the universe hit him harder, because it doesn’t like being insulted, apparently. He’s out on a call with the team this time. They’d had a minor earthquake, much smaller than the one they’d had when Eddie was still a rookie, but it was enough to cause some structural damage and put a couple of people in need of rescuing. No big deal, right? That’s Buck’s specialty.

The house they pull up to is a nice one. Three stories, old and elegant; it’s one of the few Victorian-style mansions still left in this area of the city—which was designated as a historic preservation zone in 1983, Buck announces, even if Chim laughs and teases that they didn’t ask—but it doesn’t look like it’ll be standing much longer. The roof has caved in over the wrap-around porch, making it a bit of a challenge to reach the door, and Buck can tell the upper levels are beginning to strain. Dispatch had informed them that there were two people on the second floor, where a doorway had collapsed and trapped them in their bedroom.

Buck and Eddie head in, picking their way over the wreckage of the porch. Buck eyes the ceiling warily when they make it past the door, noting one of the larger cracks that’s opened up in a corner. The house might be mostly in one piece, but it’s definitely not stable. They’ll have to be quick.

“Looks like the stairs are still viable,” Eddie says, testing his weight on the lowest few steps. They hold.

“Convenient,” Buck says. He follows Eddie up, and they find the issue, clear as day. Just like dispatch had said, the doorway of the bedroom had collapsed, and parts of the third floor had come down on top of it, making the whole front section of the room impassable. Unless, of course, you’re a firefighter with heavy equipment designed specifically for this purpose.

Buck gets himself set up to start shifting debris while Eddie calls out to the couple, trying to gauge how far they are from the wreckage, or if there are any injuries. Thankfully, it seems like they’d managed to get themselves out of the way; they’re unhurt, and huddled in the corner of the room that still has a ceiling.

They get the couple out in record time, and Buck feels lucky for the first time in a while. Eddie leads the way back down the stairs while Buck follows, keeping the couple between them. It’s easy. No one’s hurt this time. They’ve had simple calls all day, and they’re nearing the end of their shift with nothing major having gone down at all. It’s probably the first time in months that they’ve had a relatively relaxed shift, and it’s almost nice.

Just then, the ground rumbles. Buck steadies himself on a wall as the aftershock ripples underneath them, setting the house trembling all over again. He can hear the old wood creaking ominously.

They’re so close to the door. Eddie is nearly there already, kicking out debris to make room to get the couple safely outside. Buck rights himself and moves, herding his charges towards the opening Eddie has just created. He can feel the aftershock fading, but they don’t want to waste any time, because that crack he’d spotted earlier is larger than before and no one wants to get caught when this building comes down.

It’s just as he helps the man they’d rescued through the doorway and gets ready to climb out himself that Buck realizes he’s done it again; the universe hates him, and he’d had the audacity to think this was going to be easy. The walls groan loudly, and he makes the mistake of looking up, just in time to see the fissure in the ceiling widening further. Oh, shit, he thinks.

Buck scrambles desperately for the doorway, but he only makes it far enough to catch Eddie’s wide eyed expression for a split second before the ground shifts, tilts, and the walls come tumbling inwards.

~~~

Buck comes back to himself in a haze of pain. It’s everywhere, a whole body ache that won’t let up. So this is what a house feels like, he muses, and then frowns when he realizes that doesn’t make any sense. His mind feels sluggish, like it hasn’t quite caught up to what’s happening, and he can’t bring himself to focus on anything past the fact that everything hurts.

He tries to shift, and the pain flares harshly, slamming him the rest of the way into consciousness as he tries to breathe through it. He blinks his eyes open to darkness, the faint shapes of wooden beams above him, and plaster dust coating everything in a fine layer of white. There’s noise coming from somewhere by his ear, and it takes him a moment too long to realize that it’s his radio, still clipped to his uniform. It clicks again and Buck’s head lolls to the right, trying to listen.

“Buckley!” Bobby’s voice crackles through, sounding like this isn’t the first time he’s tried to call for him. How long had Buck been out? His head aches too much to try to think, so he lets it go. It doesn’t matter anyway.

He feels like he should answer. His captain is calling for him, so he should respond, right? He can’t ignore Bobby. He doesn’t want to get fired again.

Buck tries to reach for his radio, only to pull up short when his left arm won’t move. Why won’t it move? He rolls his head over to his other side, blinking slowly, and—oh. It’s stuck. It’s stretched out past the little pocket of space he’s found himself in, meaning it wasn’t protected by the larger beams that are holding the rest of the debris up from crushing him completely.

Without thinking, Buck tugs on it, trying to get it free. His mind doesn’t register how bad that idea was until his vision nearly whites out, agony lancing up the limb all the way to his shoulder. He’s panting by the time it fades back to a slightly-less-debilitating ache, and he decides that he’s definitely not going to try that again. Instead, he reaches for his radio with his right arm, which seems mostly fine. His team is still calling for him, and he wants to respond, but the best he can manage when he fumbles for the button is a low whine. The clamoring voices all stop, briefly, and then—

“Buck?” Bobby again, more tentative than Buck has ever heard him.

“Bobby,” he groans, finally getting his voice to work.

“Oh, thank god,” Bobby says. “Just hold on, son, we’ll get you out of there.”

Buck feels himself drift for a second. Everything feels a little fuzzy, but he can’t find it in himself to worry, not when he knows his team is coming for him. They’ll get him out.

“Hey, Buck,” Eddie’s voice from the radio brings him back, just barely. “You still with us, buddy?”

Buck hums affirmatively.

“Gotta give me more than that, man,” Eddie chastises. “You know the drill. Stay awake, keep talking. How about you tell me how you’re feeling, so we know what we’re lookin’ at when we get you out of there?”

“Mmm, yeah,” Buck murmurs. He blinks languidly. “Head hurts.”

“I’m sure it does,” Eddie says. “You were out for a bit.”

“Think I fucked up my ribs,” Buck continues, “an’ my arm. It’s stuck.”

Eddie lets out a low whistle, and he sounds sympathetic when he prompts, “Anything else?”

“Don’t think so,” Buck says. He blinks again, eyelids feeling heavier than before. Why is he so tired? “Gettin’ sleepy down here, Eds.”

“None of that, bud,” Eddie responds, “How about I tell you what Christopher is doing for his history project? He’s learning about dinosaurs.”

Buck knows Eddie is just trying to keep him awake, but he actually does want to know what Christopher is learning, so he agrees. Eddie launches into the dinosaur spiel easily. Buck just listens as he talks, letting his arm fall across his midsection now that he doesn’t need it to press the button on his radio.

Belatedly, he recognizes that his side is wetter than it should be. He hadn’t even registered it amidst all the pain from his arm, but now that he’s got his hand pressed up against it, he can feel the warmth seeping out against his fingers.

Huh, he thinks, bringing his hand up to look at it. He can’t make out much in the dark, but it’s definitely dripping with something.

“Eddie,” he calls into the radio, trying not to let it slip out of his slick fingers. Eddie stops in the middle of his sentence, but before he can ask, Buck mutters, “Think ‘m bleeding.”

“Fuck,” Eddie hisses, mostly to himself, it seems. Buck can hear him call out to Bobby, before he’s back again. “We’re almost there, Buck, don’t worry. We got you.”

“I jinxed it,” Buck says quietly. He thinks he should put pressure on the wound, or something, but his body feels heavy and he can’t bring himself to move his good hand. He wants to keep talking to Eddie.

“What?” Eddie asks.

“I jinxed it,” Buck repeats, his words coming out a little slurred. “Thought we were gonna make it. But th’ universe hates me. Made me fall.”

He thinks Eddie responds, but he can’t really be sure. He feels like he’s underwater. The sounds of shifting rubble are distorted and distant, and he’s losing his precarious grip on consciousness again.

“Buck luck,” he snorts, half out of it. His hand slips off the radio. He dimly registers someone calling to him, from somewhere close, but his energy is spent. He lets himself fade out, and hopes his team gets through to him in time.

~~~

Buck really needs to stop jinxing things. This is, what, the fifth time he’s ended up in the hospital? Sixth? That’s too many. He’s so tired of hospitals. At least this time, they’ve got him on the good painkillers, so he doesn’t feel quite as shitty as he did when he was stuck under two floors worth of rubble.

He blinks the sleep out of his eyes and gives himself a moment to focus, letting his eyes adjust to the dimmed lights of the room. He takes stock: left arm in a heavy cast from wrist to elbow. Side and chest wrapped up, head still aching like a bitch but better now that there’s a pillow under it rather than a pile of stone foundation. Right hand being held by someone else. What?

Buck frowns and looks down at his hand, where it’s grasped between both of Eddie’s, who is fast asleep and spread out across two hospital chairs. Buck stares at him for a moment, debating whether or not to wake him. Ultimately he decides not to, because he doesn’t really want him to wake up and decide to take his hand back. Near-death experiences call for a little hand-holding, right? So Buck is just going to let himself enjoy this for a minute. He sighs and settles back, still tired enough that he wants to fall straight back into sleep. After another moment of studying the way Eddie’s hands are clutching his, even in sleep, Buck closes his eyes again. His last thought as he drifts off is, maybe my luck isn't so bad, after all.

(posting the card again here so ppl know which prompts have been claimed!!)

[happylifefanfic]

Safe Place Chapter 2

Emma nervously tugged at the bottom of her dress as she made her way towards Athena’s front door.  Balancing the baking dish of brownies and the bowl of pasta salad in one hand was proving to be quite the feat as she desperately tried to keep her skirt from riding further up her thighs.  

Once she got to the front door, she cleared her throat before ringing the doorbell.  A few seconds later, a very tall man with a welcoming smile greeted her as he ushered her inside.

“Emma!  It’s so great to finally meet you.  Athena has told me so much about you.  I’m Bobby,” he said as he took the dish and bowl out of her hands with one hand and offered her his other hand to shake.

“It’s nice to meet you too, Bobby.  I’ve heard quite a bit about you as well,” Emma replied with a laugh.  Bobby grinned at her in reply.

“I’ll put these on the table.  Why don’t you head out back?  Athena is right outside the door,” Bobby instructed.  Emma nodded before turning around to walk out onto the patio.  Her green eyes scanned the crowded patio for her partner, but someone else caught her attention first.

“Emma!” Christopher exclaimed as he left his father’s side to come greet her.  

“Hi there, Christopher.  How are you?” Emma said as she leaned down to hug the boy.  

“I’m great!  All of my favorite people are here.  Well, except my grandparents,” Christopher said with that easygoing smile on his face.  Emma smiled in return and glanced up as Eddie joined them.  She could see where Christopher got that amazing smile from as the firefighter came to stand beside his son.  

“Nice to see you again, Emma,” Eddie said.

“You too,” Emma replied.

“Stopped any arterial bleeding lately?” Eddie asked with a chuckle causing Emma to laugh in response.

“Not since the last time you saw me covered in blood,” she answered.  Eddie opened his mouth to say something else, but a tall blonde haired guy joined their group with a loud exclamation.

“Well, who do we have here?” he said in his loud, boisterous voice that had Christopher laughing and Eddie rolling his eyes.

“Buck, this is Emma Sullivan.  She’s Athena’s new partner.  Emma, this is Evan Buckley, AKA Buck.  He’s also a firefighter at the 118,” Eddie replied as he gestured between the two of them.

“It’s nice to meet you,” Emma said as she stuck out her hand.  Buck laughed before pulling her into a bear hug.  Emma laughed as he squeezed her tight and lifted her off of her feet.

“I have heard so much about you!  I can’t believe Athena actually agreed to have a partner,” Buck said loudly in her ear.

“You can put her down, Buck,” Eddie said as Christopher laughed.

“Buck!  What on earth are you doing?” Athena said as she walked up to them.  Buck gently put Emma back on her feet before turning to beam at Athena.

“I was just greeting the newest member of our posse,” Buck said as he threw an arm around Athena’s shoulders.  “You didn’t mention she was this cute!”

“And why would I say that to you?” Athena said as she shewed him away.  “Go help Bobby with the grill and give the girl some space.”

Buck dutifully followed her command while Athena looked to the trio of people standing before her.  What she saw had her smiling.  Emma was slightly rubbing her arms where Buck had gripped her, Eddie was tenderly examining her arms to see if she was hurt, and Christopher was smiling at the pair of them with a glimmer of hope in his young eyes.  

“I’m okay, Eddie,” Emma said as the dark haired man gently lifted her arm to see if a bruise was forming.  His brown eyes lifted to meet her gaze and Emma had to quickly suck in a breath.  Good Lord, this man is attractive, she thought.  

Eddie slowly dropped his hands before he nodded at her.  

“I’m sorry about Buck.  He can be a bit much sometimes,” Eddie apologized.

“It’s not a problem.  He reminds me of my older brother,” Emma replied with a smile on her face.  

“So, Emma, did you find the house okay?” Athena asked, causing the two adults in front of her to break their gaze and look at her.

“I did.  I took an Uber,” Emma said.

“Good!  Now come meet everyone else,” Athena said as she began to lead Emma towards the crowd.

“I’m coming with you,” Christopher announced as he moved to walk beside Emma.  “I’ll see you later, Dad!”

Emma smiled down at Christopher before Athena began introducing her to the rest of the 118 crew and their families.  

Several hours later, the party was dying down and Emma had begun to help Bobby and Athena clean up.  She glanced over to see Christopher and Buck asleep on the couch.  

“Those two are attached at the hip,” Eddie said from beside her, startling her slightly.  Emma glanced up at him and couldn’t help but smile herself when she saw the beatific smile on his face.

“I can tell,” Emma replied.  

“Although, you are just about all he talks about these days,” Eddie said.

“Really?” Emma asked, surprised.

“Oh yeah.  He has been dying to hang out with you.  He’s always asking if he can go over to your place,” Eddie said with a laugh.

“Well, he’s welcome anytime,” Emma said.  “I miss being around kids.”

“Oh yeah?” Eddie asked as they both began to pick up empty plates and cups to put in the trash bag Eddie was holding.

“Yeah.  My nieces and nephews live in Atlanta, so when I decided to move to LA from there, it was hard not getting to see them all the time,” Emma explained.

“I knew I detected a Southern accent there,” Eddie said, and Emma laughed.

“I was raised all over the world, but my parents are from the South, so the accent stuck,” Emma said.

“All over the world?” Eddie asked as Emma dumped a few more plates in the trash can.  

“My dad is Navy, so we’ve been all over,” Emma explained.

“Navy, huh?  I was in the Army,” Eddie said.  Emma paused to look at him.

“Well, thank you for your service,” she said and Eddie nodded in reply.  “What did you do in the Army?”

“I was a combat medic,” Eddie replied.  

“Impressive,” Emma said as Eddie cinched up the last of the trash bags.

“I think we’re done here,” Eddie said as they both turned to head inside.  “Christopher is staying with Bobby and Athena tonight because he and Harry have a party to go to tomorrow.  So, since we are neighbors, would you like to ride home with me?”

“Sure, that would be great,” Emma replied.  After saying goodbye to Athena, Bobby, and Buck, Eddie ushered Emma out to his truck.  Just as she stepped up to grasp the door handle, Eddie beat her to it and opened the door for her.

“Your chariot awaits,” Eddie said as he playfully bowed to her.  

“Why thank you,” Emma replied with a smile as she situated herself in the front passenger seat.  Minutes later, they were headed down the freeway towards the exit that would take them to their homes.  The ride had been quiet so far.  

“So, what made you decide to become a cop?” Eddie asked quietly.  Emma nervously picked at the hem of her dress before clearing her throat.

“I was all set to become a doctor when my best friend and roommate was murdered.  The aftermath of that was a complete nightmare, and I guess I just knew that I wanted to be the person to help stop something like this from happening again,” Emma said quietly in return.  Eddie sighed softly before he reached his right hand across the console to grab her left one.  He squeezed her hand lightly.

“I’m so sorry about your friend,” Eddie said softly.  

“Thank you,” Emma whispered.  “Even though it was 6 years ago, it still feels like it happened yesterday.  My whole life changed after that day.”

“How so?” Eddie asked.

“Well, the detectives connected her murder to a series of murders that had been happening for the past eight years.  The only problem was she didn’t fit the victimology.  All of the other victims were petite, blondes with blue or green eyes.  Rachel was African-America and tall with brown hair and brown eyes,” Emma paused to swallow.  Eddie gently squeezed her hand again.

“You don’t have to talk about it, if you’re not up for it,” Eddie said.

“I know, but it might be good to talk to someone other than Athena and the department shrink about it,” Emma said.  “I was gone to visit my family when she was murdered.  I had taken Rachel’s car instead of mine because my alternator was having issues and we were waiting on a part to come in.  I found her body when I returned that Sunday evening.  The detectives told Rachel’s family that they believed the killer had gone there to kill me.  They think that Rachel surprised him and he killed her so he wouldn’t leave a witness who could identify him.”

“Damn,” Eddie breathed as he maneuvered the truck off the freeway and onto the exit ramp.  “Did they ever catch the guy?”

“Yes, eventually.  Unfortunately, he killed four other women before they could catch him.  By that point, I was living in survival mode.  I barely made it through my residency each day, and I barely slept.  I had been so close to Rachel’s family, but after her death, things just weren’t the same.  Her parents were so heartbroken, her brother was angry at me, and I carried so much guilt because it should have been me instead of her,” Emma said as Eddie pulled into his driveway.  He put the truck in park and unbuckled his seatbelt before turning to face her.

“Don’t say that,” he said adamantly.  “You were meant to live otherwise you wouldn’t be here now.”

“I know,” Emma said quietly as tears silently made their way down her face.  Eddie softly reached over with his right hand to wipe away the tear that moved down her left cheek.  “My therapist always says that I can’t control what happened and that none of it was my fault.  It’s easy to say that, but believing it is another thing entirely.”

“I know what you mean,” Eddie said.  “I’ve seen friends get killed in the line of duty and I watched Christopher’s mother die right in front of me.  It sucks, and I don’t think you ever really get over that.  You just learn to cope with it and try to move on with your life.”

“That’s what I’m trying to do,” Emma said as she turned to face him.  “A change of scenery was very helpful, and Athena has been wonderful.  Speaking of Athena, what did Buck mean when he said he couldn’t believe Athean agreed to have a partner?”

“Athena hasn’t had a partner in years,” Eddie said.  “Being a field sergeant gives her the choice of having a partner or not.”

“So why would she choose me?” Emma asked.

“Well, I don’t know the exact answer to that, but I can take a guess,” Eddie said with a smile.

“And what would that be?” Emma asked as she tilted her head slightly.

“She saw a lot of herself in you, and she knew how hard it was to overcome a traumatic experience like you did.  Plus, Bobby told me that she has bragged about how smart and intuitive you are,” Eddie said with a smile on his face.  Emma blushed slightly and bowed her head for a moment.  When she raised her gaze to meet Eddie’s, she was surprised to see the smile gone from his face.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

“Nothing,” Eddie said quickly.  “It’s getting late.”

He got out of the truck abruptly and Emma followed suit.  They met at the front of the truck and silently stared at each other for a few seconds.

“Thanks for the ride home,” Emma said as she started to walk past him.  Eddie gently grabbed her hand to stop her.

“Thank you for telling me your story,” he said softly.  “I know that wasn’t easy.”

“Thank you for listening,” she replied as she gently tightened her grip on his hand.

“Let me walk you to your door,” Eddie said as he began to lead her across the small space between their homes.  Once they arrived at her front door, Emma pulled her keys from her purse and unlocked the door.  Then, she turned to face him one last time.  His body was only a few inches from hers and she could feel his breath on her forehead.

“Goodnight, Eddie,” she whispered.  Before she could turn to go inside, he lifted his right hand to cup her left cheek.  

“Goodnight, Emma,” he replied before leaning down to place a quick kiss to her forehead.  He quickly backed away and headed back to his own house leaving a stunned Emma on the front porch.  After a minute or so, she walked into her house and slumped against the closed front door.

Oh man, she thought.

In the next house over, Eddie braced his hands against his closed front door and let out a long sigh.

“What are you doing?” he said aloud to himself as his head slumped against the door.  “You just told everyone, including Anna, that you weren’t ready for any kind of relationship, and here you are pining after your neighbor that you barely know.  Get it together!”

[babybuckleydiaz]

Okay, I think this might be my last prompt, at least until inspiration strikes again: Buddie fic where they and Chris are all just hanging out together, they're crossing the street, when out of nowhere, some idiot comes barreling down the road and almost hits Chris, and Buck doesn't think twice, he lunges for Chris and frantically pulls him out of the way. With Eddie grabbing them both tightly, happy they're okay.

Warnings: swearing, near death experience, angst, hurt/comfort established buddie.

Okay, so this took me ages to write honestly but I honestly really liked this prompt a lot. I did want to do more with it but I didn’t want to stretch it out to the point that I didn’t like it. But thank you so much for requesting and I hope you like it 

  “Daddy? You promised me and Bucky ice creams!” Eddie looked down at his son standing between himself and Buck, the brightest smile on his face as he looks up at his father. His smiles is accompanied by the biggest puppy god eyes that he has ever seen, ones that could give even Buck a run for his money. “How are you not full yet, kiddo?” Laughs the older of the two men, the sound a soft chuckle as he shakes his head with fondness written all over his face. Buck smiles as he leans down and picks Christopher up, his voice loud and filled with affection when he speaks. “Well, growing boys need all the food they can get.” He speaks mostly to Christopher when he speaks, smiling so bashfully as he gently pinch Christopher’s side causing the boy to erupt into a fit of laughter.

  “Please, daddy?” Once again, Christopher is using his skilful puppy god eyes knowing that his father could never say no to them, neither could Buck. “Yeah Eddie, please?” Eddie shakes his head, narrowing his eyes when Buck uses the sane tone that his son had and the exact same look in his eyes; it was a losing battle for Eddie. If he wasn’t able to say no to Christopher already, then there was no way he could say no with both of his boys looking at him with those damn puppy god eyes. “You two are nothing but trouble when you’re together.” Mumbled Eddie as he pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers, shaking his head despite the most fondest smile spread across his lips. Christopher chuckles at what his father had said, not bothering to hide his happiness when he reaches over to high five Buck, who returns it with a smile as bright as the damn son.

  “Fine, okay. You boys can get your ice cream.” He agrees, acting like he wasn’t going to say yes the moment that Christopher had reminded him.

  “Yay! We’re getting ice cream Bucky!” Christopher’s happiness is so infectious, his smile always having been something that can brighten up even the darkest of days. Buck warmly laughs as he places Christopher back onto the ground, Eddie just watching with a soft and loving expression as Buck ruffles Christopher’s hair; being rewarded with that laughter once again filling the air.

  “Alright, go get your shoes on. We can all walk to the one down the street.” Eddie says, also thinking that since they’ve all been in the house all day it would be nice to get into the outside air for a little while. Plus the shop was a block away and wasn’t too far, would take them maybe five minutes at most to walk there. Buck and Eddie just watch Christopher for a moment as he leaves the room, his legs carrying him as fast as he could to show his excitement over something so small. Once the young boy was gone from the room, Eddie turned to his boyfriend and lightly tapped his arm, his face one of annoyance despite the small smile playing on his lips.

  “You’re a menace, Ev.” Buck snorts, eyes lighting up as he smirked, turning around to cross his arms over his chest while facing the older male. “What? I thought you liked it when I begged.” The tone that Buck used was innocent, but his words were anything but and obviously caught Eddie off guard once he had said them. Eddie seemed to choke on air once those words reached his ears, looking at Buck with a raised eyebrow and slightly opened mouth. “You’re a fucking pain in the ass, babe.” Eddie decided to say after a moment of silence from his part, a glint of playfulness in his eyes that Buck honestly loved seeing, because it meant that Eddie was happy. And after all that’s all he wanted.

  Buck opened his mouth to respond to what Eddie had said, only to stop himself when Christopher entered the room with his shoes on and ready to go. “You ready, big man?” Is what Buck had said instead, and Eddie couldn’t help but snort because that meant whatever his boyfriend was about to say had been not for kid’s ears. “Ready, Bucky.” Was Christopher’s reply and Buck nodded his head before looking up at his boyfriend with a smile, and Eddie just took a moment to soak up the scene before him. Of both his boys smiling so happily at him without a single care in the world, nothing to dampen their mood.

  “What flavour are you gonna get, Chris?” Buck questioned the young boy as they finally made their way out the front door, Eddie grabbing the keys on the way passed. When they stepped outside they were greeted by the sound of cars and chatter, the street alive with people going about their day. “Oh I want Chocolate mint, please!” Eddie smiled down at his son, who was walking in between the two adults where it was safest for him. “What about you, Bucky?” Buck takes a moment to pretend to think about his answer, and Eddie smiles knowingly because he already knows what his boyfriend is going to ask for. Buck replies with ‘cookie dough’ at the same time that Eddie mouths the word.

  “What about you, daddy? Vanilla?” The older male give his boyfriend a pointed look when he hears Buck snort at what Christopher had said, but Eddie’s choice of flavoured ice cream was something to two of them made jokes about all the time. Eddie didn’t even nod his head in reply before Buck spoke up, a small smirk on his face when he leans down slightly as they walk on, acting as if he was telling Christopher a secret. “Daddy’s boring, isn’t he? Picks the most boring flavour.” Eddie can’t even pretend to be annoyed at what had been said when Christopher laughs like he’s been told the funniest joke he’s ever heard.

  “You think my own family would be nice to me.” Eddie’s tone is dripping with fake sadness, a mock frown on his face before it twists up into something smug. Later on, Eddie will remember the way that Buck’s eyes shone with happiness when Eddie had uttered the words ‘my own family’. “Especially since I’m the one paying for the ice cream.” He finished, and he can’t help but burst out with laughter at the horror on Christopher’s face, Buck rolling his eyes fondly.

  “It’s alright, buddy. If your father didn’t by the ice cream I would have.” Buck was quick to say, and Eddie just gets stumped by how rapidly his heart fills with love for these two boys in front of him. He adores the way that Buck isn’t afraid to parent Christopher, is comfortable in his position on their life after being a part of the family for so long now. Eddie inwardly sighs to himself, sooner or later he’s gonna need to ask Buck to marry him. He thinks about how Athena points to her own ring and then gives Eddie a pointed glare, hinting every time that he needs to hurry up and marry Buck.

  “Alright, you two wanna wait out here while I order?” Eddie questions once they reach the front of the local ice cream store, looking in front to see that there was a number of people inside. He knows that both Buck and Christopher have a problem being in such crowded spaces for too long, both get anxious and fidgety. Christopher and Buck exchange a look for a moment, the blonde male taking a moment to look over Eddie’s shoulder and into the store, instantly grimacing. “Yeah, we’ll wait out here. Thanks, Eds.” Buck replied for the both of them and Eddie smiles something so understanding, pressing a brief kiss to Christopher’s head and one to Buck’s cheek before going inside.

  Buck waits a moment until he sees that his boyfriend is inside the building and out of hearing range before he kneels down in front of Christopher, needing to ask this boy for his opinion on something very important. “Hey buddy, I have a question for you.” Buck begins, feeling a little nervous about the question that he was going to ask. And later he’ll laugh about the fact that he was about to ask permission to do something from a little kid. “Ask away, kid!” Christopher says and Buck smiles at him so happily before he looks back over his shoulder to make sure was Eddie wasn’t coming.

  “What do you think about the idea of me asking your dad to marry me?” The excitement on Christopher’s face so instant, it almost causes Buck to forget what he was even nervous about to begin with. Christopher is about to speak, but he only stops when Eddie pokes his head out of the door; looking slightly apologetic. “Why don’t you two go to the park across the road?” He offers up. “This might take a minute.” He’s quick to explain and both of the boys agree with this idea, Buck standing beside so they could cross the road.

  Whatever Buck was going to say to Christopher is cut off when he hears the sound of types scraping against the ground, the smell of burnt rubber instantly filling his nostrils. Buck paused, not noticing that Christopher was a few steps in front of him when he hears a woman’s screaming, her words a piercing and loud ‘watch out’. It’s then that Buck notices that Christopher isn’t next to him, and notices the car speeding directly towards them with no signs of slowing down. And Buck knows that he has enough time to jump out of the way and avoid being run down, but he also knows that Christopher doesn’t have that same chance as him.

  That alone causes Buck to move before he even realises what he’s doing, running forward quickly and managing to grab Christopher around the waist and pull him back. Buck falls out of the way of the car in the nick of time, hugging Christopher close to his own body as he hits the ground with a painful sounding thump. Buck groans in pain the moment his back connects with the concrete that had been under his feet moments ago, but he ignores that to look at the kid in his arms. Christopher was crying, and for a moment of absolute dread Buck thought that the kid had been hurt. Either in the fall or clipped by the car, and in that second he thought he was going to be sick. But he’s able to quickly realise that Christopher was crying from the fear of what had just happened, the kid was unharmed but scared.

  “Hey, shh. I’ve got you, you’re okay.” Buck sooths as he pushes himself into sitting up, grunting through clenched teeth as to not worry Christopher. Buck knew he was going to have some killer bruises on his back in the next few hours, but his main focus was doing a once over on the boy in his arms in case he missed something.

  “Christopher! Evan!”

  Buck and Christopher look up at the same time to see Eddie running towards them, nothing but pure panic written all over his face as he weaves through the group of people. Buck is quick to notice that some of them are already on the phone, most likely calling the cops and that leads Buck to do a quick scan of the area, glad to see that no one is hurt in the car’s wake. “Oh my god! Are you two okay?” There is so much fear in Eddie’s voice as he speaks, wide eyes already misty with tears as he searches his son’s body for any injuries only to come up empty. “Hey Eddie, we’re okay. Take a breath.” Sooths Buck, keeping one arm wrapped around Christopher and placing the other one on his boyfriend’s shoulder, smiling encouragingly at him. Eddie looked at him, but his eyes were still impossibly wide as he pulled both of the boys into his arms, holding onto them tightly and letting tears slide down his face.

  “Eddie, I promise. We’re both okay. Maybe bruised, but we’re alive. We’re both okay.” Buck’s voice is so soothing when he speaks, moving slightly so that he can cup Eddie’s cheek and coax the other into looking at him. Christopher was calming down, taking deep breaths like his father had taught him into the crook of Buck’s neck, where he had hidden his face the minute his father pulled them into his arms. “You’re both okay…” Eddie repeated and Buck smiled at him gently and nodded his head, turning his attention to the precious boy he had in his arm, face buries against his jacket collar. “I think we’re gonna give your dad a heart attack one day, kiddo.”

  Eddie can see what Buck is doing, but if he shows that everything is okay than that will help Christopher to calm down and let go of that fear that had grip his heart. “Should have stayed I-inside.” Came the muffled reply of Christopher, not planning to move anytime soon from Buck’s arms; he could hear his father’s voice behind him and he took comfort in it.

  “Eddie? Buck?” Buck was too focus on the shaking boy in his arms to look up at the sound of his name, Eddie standing to his full height when he saw Athena making her way over to them; the concern obvious on her face. Eddie made a sigh of relief, because he was the first to admit that having Athena around in times of trouble had this feeling of safety; something that Buck and Christopher needed now. “Hey, I heard what happened. Are you guys okay?” He eyes drop from Eddie to the two boys sitting on the ground, holding on tightly to each other.

  “The asshole almost ran them down, I was in the store when I saw it happen.”

  Eddie zones out for a second when Athena nods her head, kneeling down to crouch by Buck and Christopher to check for herself if they were fully okay.

  Something that Eddie doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to forget is the feeling of pure fear as he watched the car come speaking down the street, his heart in his throat as he bolted out the door. He felt too many emotions to name as he watch Buck grab his son and jump out of the way of the car, hitting the ground so hard it made Eddie wince at it. He freezes, a second is all it would have taken for Christopher to have been hit by that car, for some asshole to take away his son. Eddie shivers miserably at the thought, he’s already had one moment of heart stopping fear where he thought he lost his son and that was enough for a lifetime.

  Eddie jumps in surprise and turns around quickly when there is a gentle tap to his shoulder, looking over to see Buck looking at him in concern. Christopher no longer had his face hidden, so Eddie could see his tear stained face, his glasses hanging around his neck. “We’re okay, daddy.” Eddie feels the tears in his eyes grow just that little bit more as he nods his head, and Buck knows that Eddie needs to hold his son right now, just to feel that he was still here. So Buck does just that, wincing at the ache through his body when he passes Christopher off to his father, Eddie sighing in pure relief.

  “You two are going to give me grey hairs.” Eddie’s chuckle is watery as he holds his son, Buck smiling so sadly before he leans over and presses a kiss to Christopher’s forehead. “I’m taking you boys’ home now.” Eddie says, both Buck and Christopher quick to agree that they both just wanted to go home where it was safe. “And when we get back, you’re letting me look at your back.” Eddie voice leaves no room for arguments, but Buck was already beginning to shake his head so he could say they should focus on this; that this was terrifying for the kid to be a part of. “Don’t bother. I Saw how you hit the ground, Evan.” And just like, Buck doesn’t bother making a single complain to the idea because Eddie had used his name, something in that tone when he’s serious.

  “Daddy? Can I sleep in the big bed with you and Bucky tonight?”

  Normally, Eddie will so no when Christopher asks to sleep with them since he does manage to take up so much space, moving around so much when he’s asleep. But after today’s event, all three are going to need each other. “Yeah, buddy. You can tonight.” Eddie replies with a tone still so shaky, taking Buck’s hand into his own and giving it such a tight squeeze.   “Thank God you two are okay, I was so scared.” At his words, Buck looks over at him and gives his hand a squeeze in an attempt of comfort. “I know, but we’re all okay. Shaken up, but we’re okay, baby.” Buck’s tone sounds tired, and it’s obvious he’s in pain but he’s so confident in what he’s saying that all Eddie can do is nod his head. His boys were alive, bruised and shaken up, but he doesn’t lose either of them.

  “I am never letting either of you out of my sight again.”