#where I have individual bits and pieces of a thought

[epiicaricacy-arts]

hold your head high, stand proud / keep your head down, power through

hiii i finally had the motivation to draw something non-project related and i got into date everything :3C i love these boys so much their story really gets to me. i wanted to do a cool poster for them that i can hopefully put onto my wall

alternate versions + individual parts down below as well as the process discussion as always!

volt

eddie

figuring out how i was gonna execute this idea was interesting. i’m also a photographer, so i knew how to execute this with pictures but not with an illustration. what i ended up doing was just doing the base layers in black and white values and adding colour on top, then bringing the file into photopea (an online free version of photoshop!!!) so i could separate the RBG values. it took a lot of messing around to get the look that i wanted — you can see in eddie’s separate layers that there’s a section of volt’s drawing within it. that’s how i made sure the red part would stay where i wanted while the rest of volt’s silhouette would be blue (the select pixels tool is a huge favourite of mine ✌️)

the textures are from studio AAA! the ones i used are all free, but i downloaded them a bit ago before they did some store cleanup or whatever so idk if they’re still up. the ones i used are the VHS and printer trash textures but if anyone wants i can just dm them the jpgs!

more into the story of this piece - i thought a duo tone overlay portrait artwork would connect to this idea i’ve been seeing that “volt can live without eddie, but eddie can’t live without volt.“ i wanted to show that through the way their layers are overlayed on each other. eddie is nearly entirely encapsulated by volts silhouette, but volt extends beyond eddie’s silhouette. he’s the face of the breaker box while eddie works away, at the back. they’re inseparable and complete each other. i always thought that part of their story was so beautiful and i really love how it’s portrayed. eddie does need volt but it’s not shown in a way that makes eddie seem weak or entirely dependant on volt…. i’d write more about them but it’s late and i have plans tomorrow whoopsiesss

all in all making this was pretty fun. i knew i just wanted to do portraits of them as my first actual illustration after so many projects so i did just that!! the first few times ive drawn them as warmup ive always had the hardest time with volt and not eddie, but this time that changed and drawing volt was so easy and i couldn’t draw eddie for the life of me 😭 idk if any other artists have this problem with them where one is hard to draw and the other is easy…. i just can’t figure out eddie’s hair for the life of me </3 but oh well!!! if you made it this far, thank you so much!! i hope you like my work!!

[gardezamour]

i saw a post with this scene the other day. ⬆️

a lot of people had commented this and that about their depictions of vi being jealous and shocked that jinx was up there with vander instead of herself.

and (as a troubled eldest daughter myself) that broke my heart a bit. although, i think it is realistic for vi to have shown a moment of vulnerability with the audience and then be ripped to pieces by individuals declaring it resentment and selfishness. no shade.

personally, i latched onto that tiny moment where her face falls. the animation of such a flicker of something akin to disappointment is astonishing.

i do think she’s seeing the mural for what it’s lacking. because it is lacking her. but, i think it has more to do with the fact that jinx and vander are there, but she’s not with them. not even necessarily including the political context. just the fact that even a random painting on a random wall lacked her presence just as much as real life.

she should have been right next to her little sister, but she wasn’t. she had both lost that choice, and then made the wrong one.

i can’t help but wonder if the years of being an imprisoned child so incredibly scared that she’d never get another chance for see her sister flashed before her eyes.

i think that mural shackled her to the fact that her world had continued on without her. and she wasn’t needed around to make it function anymore.

vander and their parents’ deaths had instilled in her that her sole purpose was to keep the earth spinning and to keep jinx safe. but, in the end, jinx had adapted. vi hadn’t.

lol

sorry for ranting! i could be entirely wrong, don’t take this to heart. it’s just what i took in and reflected on, and i wanted to share my thoughts. i find it so strangely comforting to see an oldest daughter go through so many punches and such heavy emotional strain and still keep her head up.

she’s so imperfect and i love her.

[infriga]

One piece chapter 1153:

I know I've already brought this up but I feel like saying it again, I really like the way Oda is deconstructing the Elbaph myth that he's spent so much of the series building up. It's made very apparent in this flashback that back then Dorry and Brogy were actually exceptions to the rule in their fair treatment of humans. The spirit of Elbaph we see in them that inspired Usopp and caught the reader's fancy turned out to be more of a reflection of who they are as people, though their kindness does better represent what kind of country Elbaph wants to be now. Harald himself even says that they have an "unusual disposition" in that regard, which I think is really interesting. And it makes what they've been turned into even more tragic with that in mind. Like I've mentioned before, Oda doesn't seem to be saying that there's anything wrong with having a warrior culture, or enjoying a good fight, but he's no longer separating that idea from the reality of violence and its consequences when used selfishly and needlessly. Dory and Brogy are violent and rambunctious and loud and irreverent, to each other, because they know the other is fine with it and reciprocates, but they were always gentle and kind and respectful to Luffy's crew. Their violence is controlled, purposeful even when it seemed frivolous to others. We've only seen them using it against other people in order to protect someone. Harald's violence, and by extension Elbaph's, wasn't controlled, not originally. It spilled out to other countries, other people, and caused a lot of harm.

Another thing that's interesting in this arc is the way Oda is depicting adherence to tradition here:

These panels are so jarring because in all the other panels the Elbaph citizens are depicted as jolly and boisterous, their faces individually drawn and visible, and while they're a bit confused about Harald's sudden change in personality they're still open to his ideas. But in these moments where an obsession with tradition rears its head, suddenly they become these faceless and jagged horned shadows.

This theme actually contrasts quite well with Egghead, because Oda is clearly trying to strike a balance between two extremes. In Egghead we got to see the very real dangers of progress with Vegapunk and the things he wrought in his desperate search for knowledge and innovation. I've made a meta post about it before but the reason why York ended up being the traitor was because Vegapunk's greatest weakness and vice was his desire for more, more funding, more knowledge, more discoveries, and more progress at all costs. In the end his greatest regrets came from that hunger for more, and so his hunger was what betrayed him to the government and got him killed. In his own words, "In my desire to push the world forward into the future, I flew too close to the sun."

Elbaph seems to be representing the other extreme, the dangers of staying too stuck in the past and not being willing to move forward, as well as the importance of people choosing to move forward towards a more peaceful future. But even then there is still an emphasis on the importance of a culture's history.

Oda has never depicted traditions as inherently good or bad, but he definitely leans towards leaving harmful traditions behind. It's actually an interesting parallel to the situation with Calgara and Norland. Norland didn't disrespect the Shandian's culture as a whole, but he also didn't believe that people should be harmed for the sake of maintaining tradition and he harshly denounced the act of human sacrifice, calling it barbaric. But when he found out that the trees he cut down to stop the spread of the plague were sacred ancestor trees, he felt terrible and said that the Shandian's were completely justified in their anger because what he'd done was unforgivable even if he'd just been doing what he thought was right. He recognized that he should have told the Shandian what the issue was and discussed it with them because he does respect their culture and their feelings on the matter.

But the Shandians do forgive him once they learn it was for their own sake, and importantly the way they show that forgiveness, the way they connect with Norland, is through another tradition. Ringing the bell of Shandora so that Norland may someday find his way back to them, lead home to them the same way their ancestors are. So It's not that traditions are treated as inherently bad, just the ones that are destructive, that hurt people, that ruin or end lives. The good traditions are ones that connect people, and make them happy, and tie them to their history and the history of others.

Similarly, chapter 1153 is all about the importance of those differences and the importance of learning about and experiencing other cultures and exchanging with them. But when their traditions become harmful, destructive, that's when they become a problem. Especially when they start to encorporate discrimination.

In the end it always comes back to the importance of the people, without whom there would be no culture and no traditions to begin with. And while I do hope it can still be saved, Elbaph deciding to burn everything down to save their kids is actually a perfect culmination of this narrative thoroughline, even more so because this time it's the good kind of history and culture being burned. And it fucking hurts because it doesn't deserve to be destroyed like that. But because of that it puts emphasis on what is most important. As Norland said, "people's lives are more precious."

With that in mind it's worth noting that Nika is meant to be a god of the people. Oda has typically depicted rulers and kings and gods as 2 kinds of people. The bad ones believe that people should serve them, and the good ones believe they should serve their people. Enel vs Gan Fall. Wapol vs Dalton. Doflamingo vs Riku. Orochi vs Oden. Kaido vs Momo. Etc. But Nika, and Luffy, are never depicted as ruling over anyone and never serving them either, just saving them, freeing them and bringing a smile to their face. Luffy even says he doesn't want to conquer anything, despite having a conqueror's will. What he's conquering is himself. I think that's part of why he doesn't want to be seen as a hero, because he doesn't want to tie others down or be tied down himself. It's funny because he's the kind of guy who doesn't really plan for the future, and doesn't care about anyone's past. He is the ultimate example of living in the present. In a way he's arguably struck the perfect balance between the two extremes by simply not engaging with them and just doing his own thing, which in light of everything I've said is kind of hilarious and very typical of Luffy. He's irreverent towards both tradition and progress, but he does care about people.

Anyway I'm just really enjoying the themes of Elbaf so far and how well they've resonated throughout the story and I just had a lot of feelings about it that I wanted to try to put into words lol. Oda is always great at packing a lot of meaning into relatively short flashbacks and this chapter was a really good example of that. Also Ida is great and Harald had good taste in women (fuck Estrid all my homies hate Estrid).

[honeytonedhottie]

what does less is more ACTUALLY mean?.ೃ࿔*:･🍨🎀

when talking about beauty tips, i noticed people always talk about the concept that less is MORE. but like, never really elaborated into that so i wanted to kind of give my two cents on the less is more tip…💬🎀

LESS IS ENHANCEMENT ;

when i first thought about the phrase "less is more" my mind immediately went to USING less. less makeup, less accessories, kind of a minimalistic approach to beauty. but as i sat with it more i've come to see that less doesn't mean to do nothing/not try, but instead its about enhancing ur features and not hiding them with too many products.

like, instead of layering on a million products, you keep ur lip combo a simple lip liner and gloss... or with lashes u go for a wispy hybrid look instead of a caterpillar lash (no hate to caterpillar lash girlies) when there are variations in the density and fullness of ur lashes, it gives it a more natural look and it elevates ur everyday makeup by like a billion percent. customize ur lashes to your eyes! dont just take them out of the container and slap em on.

so when you focus on like the big things for your day to day looks... like taking care of ur skin so u dont have to wear foundation everyday to feel pretty, lash clusters, a little bit of lipgloss. u dont like NEED so much every single day you know? less is more to me is about enhancing ur natural beauty and ur features with/without makeup.

another example, if u have moles and beauty marks... dont cover them up with concealer but instead highlight them with an eyeliner and wear them proudly. at the end of the day we wanna let our individuality shine and be celebrated, and with practice we can learn to accentuate and flatter our features. and the same is true for our bodies. media loves to show what an acceptable body is and isn't, like why cant we just accentuate our bodies and be comfortable and feel sexy in it? (thats an idea for another post) like how "being skinny" made a resurgence in the media and now the bbl body of the 2018 era is like gone. this just goes to show that when it comes to ur beauty don't bandwagon off of trends bcuz trends FLUCTUATE. and YOU shouldn't fluctuate with every single trend. just be you!

HOW I APPLY THE LESS IS MORE MANTRA ;

❤︎ my everyday makeup consists of a skin tint, some red blush, my nyx cold brew lip liner and some mascara.

i use red blush bcuz i was watching a victorias secret makeup tutorial and one of the makeup artists mentioned that red blush looks closest to our natural blush so by using a little bit, it's a lot less harsh and actually quite flattering on my skin. i use mascara on my top AND bottom lashes (bottom lashes make SUCH a difference) and ofc my lip liner and gloss and thats it…💬🎀

❤︎ i keep my skincare and bodycare SUPER simple. i dont overload on the products and i give my skin what it NEED.

my morning skincare is just turmeric and kojic acid bar soap, toner and my beauty of josen sunscreen. my evening skincare is my turmeric and kojic acid bar soap, niacinamide and the nivea SOFT moisturize. as for my evening bodycare i use my turmeric soap and slather with coconut oil and raw shea butter once im out. i use these at night instead of my regular vanilla scented wash routine bcuz thats more so to smell good and feel soft, this routine is to maintain my soft pretty skin…💬🎀

with all this being said, this is just a think piece and u dont have to make this ur whole life! like, i love being a doll and wearing dolly lashes and adding on tons and TONS of accessories. take this principle and apply it where u feel it resonates the most. u dont have to take it and apply it to everything cuz we're not all the same. like i personally absolutely canNOT do minimalistic fashion and decor because im EXTRA... but when it comes to my everyday makeup i think i look cuter when i wear a little less, and my skin responds better to less product. hope u enjoyed girlies 💕

[wvffles]

comfort fic recs ⋆˚࿔

→ one shot edition

ᯓ a collection of some stories that are comforting to me 💙 (i'm a simple creature of habit, a complete sucker for hurt/comfort if you will) also just so this isn't super duper long i’m going to limit myself, but there are sooo many fics that I love to reread :') // if you're on this list and want to be removed pls lmk !! I mean no harm or inconvenience ˙✦

ᯓ for the most part these are sfw, but some stories might contain or allude to smut, pls heed all individual story warnings and tags ᝰ.ᐟ

⭑.ᐟ supernatural

⋆˚࿔ dean winchester

✎ᝰ. the old fashioned way dean x soulmate!reader ⋆˚࿔ by @zepskies

summary: you and dean are having trouble trying to start a family. what happens when you turn to a spell for a possible solution? 

✎ᝰ. down to the crust dean x reader ⋆˚࿔ by zepskies

summary: you’ve set out on a very specific mission for dean. the problem is, you now have ulterior motives for your (formerly) pure love of baking.

✎ᝰ. lovin' you dean x reader ⋆˚࿔ by @supernotnatural2005

summary: it’s that time of the month and dean is there to save the day.

✎ᝰ. better dean x reader ⋆˚࿔ by @wearywinchester  

summary: when your cold turns more serious and things take a turn, dean is there every step of the way.

✎ᝰ. comfort treats dean x reader ⋆˚࿔ by @impala-dreamer

summary: pain/period comfort drabble

✎ᝰ. next dean x reader ⋆˚࿔ by @dewwinchester

summary: a little cutesy piece basically about reader and dean living a very normal life and leaving hunting

✎ᝰ. spring cleaning dean winchester x plus size!afab!reader ⋆˚࿔ by @studiogrimm810

summary: a tiring day of helping dean clean up the impala has left you exhausted, sensitive, and self-critical. especially after finding something from dean’s bachelor days

✎ᝰ. apple pie and valentine's surprises dean winchester x girlfriend!reader ⋆˚࿔ by @losers-clvb

summary: it's yours and dean's first valentine's day together! the pressure is on you both to make it perfect for each other, but things don't go according to plan.

✎ᝰ. not a lot, just forever dean winchester x pregnant!reader ⋆˚࿔ by @take-it-on-the-run

summary: after throwing up morning after morning, the reader discovers her illness isn't what she initially thought.

✎ᝰ. no sleeping alone dean x reader ⋆˚࿔ by @silksandcravats

summary: headcanon on boyfriend!dean who does not condone sleeping apart from you

✎ᝰ. leather jacket and pumpkin spice latte dean winchester x gn!reader ⋆˚࿔ by @chevroletdean

summary: wearing dean's leather jacket

⋆˚࿔ sam winchester

✎ᝰ. frowny sam winchester x gn!reader ⋆˚࿔ by @tusk-rumours

summary: you're frowny and in pain on your period, and sam's there to make you feel better

✎ᝰ. natural sam winchester x gn!afab!reader ⋆˚࿔ by @samsblades

summary: five times that you and sam are woken in the middle of the night, and one time you get to sleep in.

✎ᝰ. crybaby sam winchester x fem!reader ⋆˚࿔ by @chxrrywines

summary: post argument hurt/comfort

✎ᝰ. the comforts of home sam winchester x f!reader ⋆˚࿔ by zepskies

summary: sam forgets to take care of himself at times. you do your best to remind him, and be there when he needs you to lean on. but sam winchester’s getting a bit too heavy, and you’re starting to feel a little under-appreciated around here.

✎ᝰ. hold me, console me established sam winchester x witch!reader / sam winchester x gn afab!reader ⋆˚࿔ by @saltcxrcle

summary: sam's not answering your texts, so you panic and track him down to a hospital OR where dean finds out that you and sam are dating.

✎ᝰ. busted sam winchester x reader ⋆˚࿔ by impala-dreamer

summary: you stumble home drunk one night with plans for the younger winchester, but your stomach, and his feelings, have other ideas..

✎ᝰ. soft skin sam winchester x plus size!afab!reader ⋆˚࿔ by studiogrimm810

summary: a night of comparing yourself to the beautiful women around you has lead your own self image to be severely tainted and sam just can't have that

✎ᝰ. heat wave sam winchester x fem!reader ⋆˚࿔ by saltcxrcle

summary: heat waves suck in the bunker

✎ᝰ. crimson waves established sam winchester x fem!reader ⋆˚࿔ by saltcxrcle

summary: you're on your period and sam is the best boyfriend ever

✎ᝰ. dead eyes sam winchester x gn!reader ⋆˚࿔ by samsblades

summary: killing a shifter with sam’s appearance scares you to the point of a panic attack.

✎ᝰ. my hero doctor!sam winchester x reader ⋆˚࿔ by @trektraveler

summary: doctor sam wInchester had fallen hard for the woman living just down the hall. she was easily the most adorable and the most accident-prone creature he had ever met! yet for all the times he came to her rescue, he was too shy to make a move. maybe he could work up his courage, if he got just one more chance...

⭑.ᐟ other jackles characters

⋆˚࿔ soldier boy (ben)

✎ᝰ. the best kind of medicine soldier boy x f!reader ⋆˚࿔ by @lamentationsofalonelypotato

summary: when ben hasn't heard from you in a few days, he drops by only to find you in a compromising position.

✎ᝰ. in the dark soldier boy x f!reader ⋆˚࿔ by zepskies

summary: you and ben have tackled the insurmountable together, but no one said the recovery would be easy.

✎ᝰ. sweet and sour soldier boy x female reader ⋆˚࿔ by @wildwestdean

summary: when you get back home after drinking a little too much, a sweeter side of ben slips out to take care of you. though you quickly learn that with him, you can't have any sweet without a little sour

⭑.ᐟ criminal minds

⋆˚࿔ aaron hotchner

✎ᝰ. where it hurts the most aaron hotchner x ex!reader ⋆˚࿔ by @alinathinkstoomuch

summary: getting shot is bad. bleeding out in your boss-slash-ex’s arms? somehow, worse.

✎ᝰ. we'll be okay aaron hotchner x reader ⋆˚࿔ by @ssahotchnerr

summary: after a bad argument and a long night of drinking, aaron gently takes care of you although you drunkly insist you don't need his help, making up along the way.

✎ᝰ. spontaneous phenomena aaron hotchner x reader ⋆˚࿔ by @luveline

summary: hotch touches your face much more than a boss should. or, 5 times you have a nosebleed +1 time hotch does.

⋆˚࿔ spencer reid

✎ᝰ. all I do is try, try, try post prison!spencer x genius!fem!reader ⋆˚࿔ by @pencil-n-pen

summary: all your life, you’ve been second-best. even now that you’ve been chosen to be an agent of the BAU, you’re just a replacement for spencer reid. what could change now that’s he’s out?

me after saying this wouldn’t be too long, lol

ᯓ I tried to keep the descriptions as authentic as possible, also if there’s multiple stories from the same author I only tagged once to avoid overtagging(?) but their name is in bold beside the title, all credits to their respective creators !!

ᯓ I for sure want to make more rec lists in the future (spice, series, headcanons, sibling dynamics, other characters i read for, etc etc... the possibilities are endless) but I also don't like to bother people so i'm kinda...testing the waters with this <3 :)

ᯓ happy reading and support writers, always ♡ !!

[mattslilies]

3 + 1: Praise - M.S.

"such a good boy for me, hm?" or... three times in which you notice matt's unusual reactions to praise from you, and the one time you act on it. warnings: bsf!matt, bsf!reader. handjob, so much praise you'll get sick of it, subby!matt, dom!reader. friends to lovers trope i suppose. one scene takes place just after high school, both characters are 18+! word count: 2.06k a/n: divider credit to @aquazero! do yall fw this kind of writing? lmk!! i feel like it helps me get a longer fic out!

the first time, you chalked it up to the heat.

you and matt were at a friend's graduation party, outside in the mid-summer months. it was burning hot outside, but with the canopies decorating the backyard, and the coolers filled with iced soft drinks and waters, it wasn't so bad.

you were sitting on a chair in the grass, talking to one of your mutual friend's parents about your plans after high school. you were all going to college, of course. both yours and matt's parents had hammered the importance of higher education into your minds.

matt sat next to you, slowly sipping off of a root beer as he listened to the conversation, piping up and speaking when he thought that it was necessary or when it involved him. your friend's mom spoke, a smile on her face as she listened to each of your plans and what you wanted to do with your lives.

"you're both ambitious, that's a good quality! it'll take a lot of hard work, though."

you nodded, smiling. you hooked your thumb to the side, pointing at matt.

"well, you saw this kid's gpa in high school. he'll have no problem acing all of his work."

she turned her head towards matt, humming in agreement.

"that's true, you always did wonderfully in school, matt. as long as you don't get caught up with partying and drinking, you'll do fine."

you laughed softly, knowing that matt was not the type to be out drunk on the weekends. he was much more of a homebody, if the many nights he spent at yours counted for anything.

"no ma'am. that's not my scene."

matt had a polite smile on his face but his message was clear. that just wasn't the way he rolled. you reached over, ruffling matt's brown locks of hair.

"nah, he's too much of a good boy for that kind of thing."

matt's face burned red. he coughed out a laugh, running a hand through his own hair. your friend's mom laughed, standing up and brushing off her dress.

"well, you make a good point. i better get off to find my son, god knows where he's run off to."

you both said goodbye, matt forcing eye contact but then looking back down at his drink, taking a sip from it to avoid speaking. you raised an eyebrow, but brushed it off.

it was hot outside. of course he was burning up. it had nothing to do with what you had said, right?

the second time, you passed it off as matt being shy.

between the two of you, there were a lot of hobbies. some of them were shared, and some of them were your own individual things. you enjoyed a lot of creative arts, whereas matt normally enjoyed a lot of sports related things, with the occasional creativity piece here and there.

however, recently, he had decided to pick up journaling, with a little bit of scrapbooking mixed in too. he had mentioned it while you were over at his house, and had noticed a small black notebook on his bedside table. you had picked it up with curiosity, turning it over in your hands.

"what's this?"

he barely glanced up from his phone, only sparing a second to see what it was that you were asking about.

"oh, i wanted to start journaling. i felt like it would help my mental health, and just keep a document of my life, you know?"

you nodded.

"that's really cool. i've thought about doing that a few times, but never fully got into it."

he laughed a bit.

"i'm not sure how long i'll stick with it, to be honest. i've done about a week's worth, and it's really fun, but you know i lose motivation pretty fast sometimes."

you laughed too, knowing that was exactly how matt worked. something captivated him for a few weeks, and it was all he thought about, but then it would burn out and he wouldn't touch it again for a year or so.

"can i look at it? or do you want to keep it private?"

he shrugged, glancing back down at his phone.

"you can see it. i haven't written anything deeply personal or anything, just surface level stuff that i would have already told you about anyways."

you nodded, opening it. your eyes widened as you flipped through the pages, taking in the beautiful layouts of the pages. the stickers, the taped in polaroids, and the messy handwriting all paired together looked like a full blown artist had created it.

"matt, this is really impressive."

he turned off his phone, setting it down next to him as he looked over at you, a little bit of suspiciousness in his eyes.

"you think so? or are you just messing with me?"

you shook your head furiously, closing the notebook, setting it back on the bedside table as you replied.

"no, i'm serious. you did such a good job."

you didn't see the way heat immediately rose to his cheeks at first, only noticing it when you turned back around. you took in the pink on his face, but didn't think much of it.

you'd complimented him, and matt was a shy person. that had to be all it was. you were definitely overthinking it, right?

the third time, you thought he was just embarrassed.

your work schedule had finally aligned with matt's, and the two of you had a night that you got to spend hanging out with each other. however, matt had a presentation that he had to give the following monday, and stressed wasn't a big enough word for what he was feeling.

his anxiety had been rampant lately with starting a new job, and you knew that this was a make or break moment for him. you'd been best friends with matt since middle school, and sometimes the comfort of you being beside him was the only thing that would get him to show up. you'd been there for him through everything, and you knew that he had the capability to get through this. it was just his nerves stopping him.

he was facing your living room wall, his presentation projected onto the opposite side as he swiped through it, going over his speech. he stumbled over a few sentences, groaning in exasperation.

"i can't do this."

he slumped down next to you, where you had been seated to watch his mock presentation.

"yes you can."

he glared at you, but you knew him well enough to know that his frustration wasn't directed at you. he just really wanted to outperform.

"i've already messed up four times."

you stood up, pulling him off of the couch.

"get up. try a fifth. this is the one, i can feel it."

he rolled his eyes, but got up anyways, if for no other reason than to stop the relentless tugging of his arm.

he started his speech again, and as you watched him, slowly nodding, his confidence only grew. he got three quarters of the way through before he stumbled, eyes widening and looking over at you.

"keep going, you're doing great. almost there."

his eyes slightly widened at your words, and he dropped the eye contact, finishing his speech as quickly as possible. you clapped as he wrapped it up, only one slip-up during the entire thing.

"see? i told you this time was the one! you got this."

he nodded, swallowing hard, anxiety clearly still rampant in his body as he turned off the mini projector. you sat down, grabbing a snack and turning the tv on, motioning for him to come sit down next to you.

he did, albeit a little bit slower than normal. you noticed the slight change in his body language, but chose to purposefully ignore it. he hadn't told you anything was wrong, so he was probably okay.

it's fine. he was just embarrassed that he needed some encouragement from you. there was nothing more to it, right?

the last time, you couldn't pretend it was anything else.

there was no special situation this time, no innocent double meaning, nothing. you had asked matt to grab you something, and when he did, you'd hit him with an ironic, joking "good boy."

but this time, you couldn't ignore the way he reacted to it. his face darkened, a blush rising from his neck all the way to the tips of his ears. he coughed awkwardly, avoiding your glance, as he knew all too well just what he looked like at the moment.

you stared at him for a second, blinking as the reality hit you.

"you like that, don't you?"

he refused to look at you, eyes darting anywhere else around his room.

"every time i've said it, i've chalked up your reaction to something else. but you like it."

you tilted your head slightly, moving into his line of sight so that he had to look you in the eyes.

"you have a praise kink."

he fumbled for words, his mouth falling open a bit as his brain scrambled to catch up. all that left his mouth was a feeble, unconvincing "no, i don't."

you let out a short laugh, not cruel, just disbelieving.

"yeah? you don't like it when i call you a good boy? or when i tell you you're doing well? and if i put my hand down the front of your sweatpants right now, i wouldn't feel you, hard as a rock, from nothing but my words?"

he couldn't seem to find an answer for you. you didn't need him to. you stepped closer to him, one hand on his waist, fingertips dipping below his waistband, the other on the back of his neck, pulling his head slightly closer.

"is this okay?"

he nodded. you shook your head. that wasn't enough.

"words, please."

he took in a shaky breath before replying, a trembling, but confident "yes" leaving his lips. you smiled.

"good boy."

your lips pressed firmly to his, and you felt him gasp against you before kissing you back, passionate, deep, like he'd been starved of you his entire life.

and you guessed, in a way, he had.

your hand reached below his pants, palming him through his boxers. he whimpered into your mouth, pulling back from your lips to breathe, and to beg.

"please, i need-"

you cut him off with another kiss.

"i know. relax, baby, i'll take care of you. get these off for me."

in one fluid motion, he had his pants and boxers on the floor, his hands returning to your body, scrambling for purchase as you wrapped yours around his length.

he was hot, heavy in your hand, and you pushed him backwards, making him sit down on the edge of the bed, beginning to slowly stroke him up and down. one of his hands flew up to muffle his noises, and you tsked in disapproval.

"absolutely not. let me hear how pretty you sound."

a whimper escaped his lips at just those words, and you ran your thumb over the tip of him, wanting to see how sensitive he was.

very sensitive was the answer.

he let out a broken moan, one that sounded like he had already been wrecked beyond repair.

"that's it, baby."

it didn't take him long to have his hips rising off of the bed, frantically thrusting into your palm in a desperate effort to chase his release, aided by your words.

"such a good boy for me, hm?"

he sobbed out, his head falling onto your shoulder.

"yes, fuck- yes, i am, please-!"

you knew he was close. his thighs were shivering under you, his cock hard, angry, practically begging to fall off of that euphoric cliff.

"go on, baby, be good for me and cum, yeah?"

that was all it took, his body shaking and steady moans and whimpers leaving his mouth as he spurted all over your hand and his les, white ropes covering the space. you stroked him through it, only pulling off when oversensitive tears left his eyes.

"you did so well for me."

you wiped the tears out of the corner of his leaking eyes, a gentle kiss pressed to his forehead as he regained his breathing, steadying it.

looks like there was something more to it, after all.

[maliciouscottonball]

You Found Him

Platonic Yandere! John “Soap” McTavish x GN! Reader

Wordcount: 2220

AN: I’ve been thinking about this for a while. Soap is a little much a lot of the time and I wanted to write something that reflected that. It’s a bit shorter than usual but the big guy is more of a short and sweet type and I’m working on more stuff so I’m chilling with it. Happy Mother’s Day to all of the moms and mom adjacent individuals out there! Y’all are real ones. Another major thank you to @foolphenomenon for beta reading for me!!!

TW: Yandere behaviors, this man is nuts frfr, delusional behaviors, a very unhealthy attachment style, kidnapping, drugging with side effects, “I’ll find you” family dynamic

♡♡♡

Johnny was the type to cling onto any type of affection that he could get. He wasn't used to being able to have anyone to be affectionate with and he has a tendency to act like a stray dog, following anyone who treated him with an ounce of kindness. It was why he got attached to Simon so easily. It was why he obeyed every order that came out of John's mouth. It was why he never missed a hang out with Gaz on the rare occasion that they both were on leave. 

He knew that he didn't have anything on Ghost's childhood but his wasn't exactly pleasant. He has plenty of brothers and sisters that he was pitted up against and starved of both food and attention in favor of. He had to fight for every scrap he got and only bulked up once he joined the military. It was easier than he was used to and he thrived. He still had a bit of an attitude problem and an authority problem but he liked his job and did his best to do well.

He was used to being treated almost like a piece of meat when he was off duty. He knew that he was a pretty boy and he got plenty of attention at bars and clubs thanks to it. It felt transactional and hollow to him in the end. He didn't like how there wasn't truly any affection to any of the contact. He wanted something more. He wanted the relationship that he craved from his siblings growing up. He already had the approval that he wanted from the captain, the one that replaced the approval from his parents that he was desperate for. He had his friends and every other part of his life was fulfilling except for at home. He wanted something pure and good and innocent and he would kill to get it.

He went looking for someone that would be a good little sibling. He wanted to be treated with the admiration that he felt an older brother should get. He wanted to teach someone new skills and have them love him more than anyone else. He was excited to be able to have someone to care for and come home to when he was on leave. He was desperate to have someone that loved him as much as he loves them.

He looked everywhere that he thought the perfect little sibling would be, regardless of whether he was on or off of duty. He visited book stores, libraries, craft stores, cafes, and restaurants. He searched through video game stores, comic book shops, sporting goods stores, and anywhere else that he could think of. He was getting impatient. He couldn't find anyone that he thought would be good enough. Not until he ordered some new clothes online and came face to face with you.

He had a tiny cottage off base where he had all of his packages delivered. It served as an excellent place to crash on leave and as an even better place to relax with the team. It was a typical bachelor pad, minus most of the mess, and it was where he called home. He could afford it and it was nice to be able to have somewhere to call his own. He was playing a game on his couch when he heard a knock at the door. He lazily got up and opened the door, looking down at you with a startled expression.

“John McTavish?” You chirped.

He couldn't believe it. You were right there. You were so young and adorable. He wanted to scoop you up right there.

“That's me.” He said, looking down at you with starry eyes.

You were perfect. He was so happy that you were finally here with him. He didn't know how you found him but he was so excited to have you. He didn't have a room set up for you but he was happy to give up his room and sleep on the couch until he figured out how to turn his weapons room into a bedroom for you. He already adored you.

“Sign here please.” You said with a smile.

He blinked as you held out a clipboard. Oh. He didn't notice the box that you were holding. He paused for a moment. He carefully signed his signature and delicately took the box from you. His hands briefly brushed yours and he couldn’t help but smile a bit wider. It was the first time that he had ever touched his new little sibling. It was a magical moment for him and he knew that he had to record it so that you two could look back on it.

He then realized something a bit important. You hadn’t been seeking him out to meet your new big brother and were instead just doing your job. That was okay. It was actually better than okay! It meant that your meeting was fate. It was destiny that you both would meet and become family. He looked surprised as you thanked him and took your clipboard back. Where were you going? You hummed as you walked back down to your van.

You happily sat in your van and checked the address for your next delivery. You brushed off the excitement of the man and just went about the rest of your day. You were used to people being a bit too eager for their packages. It wasn't anything new for you. It was rare that someone wasn't excited to get their purchases. He just watched as you drove off and felt a bit empty again when he was alone.

Johnny hurried inside to get a pen and his journal. He didn’t even sit down before he started to sketch you. He didn’t stop until it looked exactly like him. He smiled at the picture and then started obsessively writing every single detail that he could remember. He wrote about how your uniform was a little too big for you and how cute it was. He wrote about the sparkle in your eyes as you looked up at him, as if you knew that he was supposed to be your big brother. He sighed happily as he wrote about your sweet little smile and how well you did your job.

He felt pleased with his entry to his journal. He looked it over and grinned. He’d have to do some research on you, his new baby sibling.

It was definitely wrong to use the computers at work to learn everything about you but he figured that it would be alright. He was your new brother, after all. He had to make up for lost time. He needed to know how to be a brother that you would want. He showed Simon the picture that he drew of you, earning a nod from him. That was enough to keep him going. Johnny knew that Simon was an awful lot like him, even if Simon didn’t like to show it. It was why they got along so well. 

By the end of the week, he knew everything. He was good with technology, being a demolitions expert. It was his job to be good at it. He learned about everything you liked and disliked, where your favorite places to go were and where you hated, and every other possible thing about you. He started getting cute clothes and shoes for you, beaming at you when you delivered them for him. He knew that you didn’t know what was in the packages but he was sure that you would love everything he bought for you.

At night, Johnny would just think about all of the fun things you both would do together. He wanted to have movie nights where you’d both gorge yourselves on junk food and cry laughing at inside jokes. He wanted to go on road trips and chat about anything and everything. He wanted to buy you anything you wanted and see you smile at him. He wanted to see you looking up at him in awe when he tells you about the cool things that he’s done on missions.  He wanted to see your eyes light up when he rigs up an explosion that you can both watch safely. He’s sure that you love explosions too. You’re his sibling so he’s sure that it’s in both of your natures.

He knows that he can be more than a little excitable and aggressive. It’s how he’s always been and he did his research on your personality so he knows that you both are going to get along like a house on fire. That's why he gets so confused when you wake up in his cottage and start struggling against your restraints. He didn’t think that you’d actually get scared. He figured you’d both get a laugh out of it and then you’d eat the lunch that he made for you.

“Hey, hey, calm down jus’ a wee bit, kiddo. I need ye ta relax. You know me! It’s just Johnny!” He coos at you.

You continue to struggle in the ropes binding your hands and feet. He had tucked you into your new bed after drugging you in your apartment and bringing you home. If it weren’t for the duct tape over your mouth, you would’ve looked like the perfect little angel while you were sleeping. He frowned. Maybe tying you up wasn’t as funny of a prank as he thought it would be. He hummed and patted your head while you squirmed, then carefully took the duct tape off of your mouth. 

“There we are! Look at ya! Cutest lil’ thing on the planet. C’mon, let’s get those nasty ropes off o’ ya. I’ll admit it’s nae my best joke but I made some sandwiches for us. Got some crisps too for while we’re watching our show together.” He said cheerfully, quickly undoing the ties of your restraints and tossing you over his shoulder like a weightless sack of potatoes.

The world was spinning and you were trying your best not to throw up. You could barely understand what he was saying and everything was blurry. You weakly grabbed onto the back of his shirt for stability, which he took as a sign that you were warming up to him already even though you were out of it.

“My cooking isn’t that bad bu’ I think I’ll order us somethin’ fur dinner. It’s a very special occasion, after all! I finally get to live with my favorite lil sweetie!” He said happily.

His words were loud and made you wince. You had a splitting headache and he was too excited about having you over that he didn’t notice. He happily plopped you onto the couch, hurrying towards the kitchen and grabbing two plates and a family sized bag of chips. He sat down next to you, tucking you next to him and snuggling you up to him. He put your plate on your lap. The sandwich on it was massive and you wouldn't normally be able to finish it, let alone when you have such an upset stomach. He wrapped an affectionate arm around you as he turned on the TV to one of the cartoons that he liked as a kid.

“This is great, right? Your first day with your big brother and we're already having a grand time. I love you, kiddo. I really do.” He murmured before opening the large bag of chips and placing it between the both of you on both of your laps.

You were so out of it that you just watched the show on the screen. You barely noticed the man next to you scarfing down his own equally large sandwich and then eating plenty of the chips. He looked down at you occasionally, smiling as he watched you. He figured that you were just sleepy and easily entertained. He seemed overjoyed to be sitting on the couch next to the drugged up delivery person.

“No’ hungry, are ye? That's okay. Ye can eat whene’er ye want. I don't mind.” He said in a genuine tone. It was clear that he wanted you to feel comfortable. 

It made him happy that you were just sitting there with him. He gently petted the top of your head, clearly doing his best to be gentle with you. He enjoyed being able to hold you like this. It made him feel like this was real. He liked feeling like he had a new little sibling to look after. He reached over and grabbed a blanket, lifting up your plate and carefully putting it over you. He put your plate down on your lap and settled back in, all but hugging you as he goes back to watching the show.

When you inevitably pass out from the drug in your system hitting you hard for a second time, he sighs happily and just keeps snuggling you. He was so happy that you were finally home with him. He figured that you were just a bit tired and needed your beauty sleep. He was perfectly fine with that. He was going to make sure that you got everything that you wanted or needed, including a doting older brother.

[romanscoming]

[ 3 ALL IN ONE ] - 1.8k special !!

MALE!SEMI, MALE!JI-YEONG, MALE!SAE-BYEOK & STONER!BLACK!READER .

.. TAGLIST ! | REQUEST ! | WATTPAD .

… 3 INDIVIDUAL SHORT SMUTS BELOW .

“YOU WEARING THIS FOR ME, HM ?”

sum. 1 — se-mi is your plug, and invites you to smoke in his car after seeing you in your leopard/cheetah print 2 piece .. nd who are you to say no to that sexy smirk he has ? so yeah u got in that car .. of fuckin course .. who wouldnt .

YOU BEEN WANTING TO SMOKE ALL DAY—ACTUALLY ALL WEEK BUT YOUVE BEEN SO BUSY .. but today ? you didnt have shit to do, no work, no bush calls, no girls hangs outs, no nothing .

you were free .. and you were happy about that .

you remembered one of your close friends started to tell u about this new plug they knew, you immediately texted her asking for his number and she reply fast just how u wanted her too, sending you ‘se-mi the dealer’ contact . you copy the number into new messages and started typing ‘yo hm .. can i buy weed from you ?’ no no no -erase ‘can i but weed from you ?” noooo too forward ..

you thought to yourself why is this so hard—i just wanna smoke .

you finally settled on textin, ‘hi, im a friend from soandso .., she said your weed is good can i buy some ?”

after hitting send you waited for a while .. not a long while but it felt like it because you were so desperate .

he finally texted back 15-20 mins later before saying ‘i have a stash left, but you better hope your near where im at .. i havent smoked all day.” you laughed at the message crossing your friends as you texted back your address .

bitting you nails and staring at the phone waiting for the bubbles to stop moving and the message to pop up and it did . you jumped from ur sit screaming ‘i kno thats fuckin rightttt !!” with a big smile on your face .

he was around ur area, ding ding, oh he was going to be there in 10 mins, you thought for a moment, realizing its a new dealer so u can probably get something off if you looked cute enough to dress em crazy, mm right ??

you quickly rushed into your room, searching for that sexy 2 piece, throwing it on, fixing your flipover quickweave, before adding your lip combo to your plumped lips, and slipping on some hello kitty slippers .

and just as you finished that was a honk honk right outside ur door, you grabbed your mini purse filled with money and rushed outside of ur dormitory .

he was parked right by your steps, you quickly walked over to the driver window, getting a good look at him before biting your lips ..

he rolls the window down, just as you vanilla bean scent found his nose, he hummed to himself before full looking at ur figure and facial features .

“you must have plans .. leaving out the house like this hm ?”

you laughed to yourself and shook your head no, only making him rise an eyebrow .

there was a moment of silence before he let out a laugh, with a big grin on his face, “so you wearing this for me, hm ?”

you only smiled shrugging your shoulders, “maybe .. i could be .”

he sighed, looking at the 2 piece that fit your body perfectly, showing him every cruve and the plumpiness of your ass and thighs .. and ur tits spilling from out ur laced bra .

he checked his phone looking at the time, before unlocking the car doors, turning to you, “get in hm ?”

you didnt complain at all, just followed his simple instructions .

he founded out this was only your second time trying weed, so he said hed teach you how to roll, and he did a amazing job .. more like he seduced you when he made a fatt blunt, licked the paper and rolled it up, showing it to you with a stupid grin on his face .

“fatt blunt for a thick girl hm ?”

you laughed, placing the blunt into your mouth as he pulled out a lighter and lit it up, bringing it to your mouth as you took a long puff, before taking it between your two fingers and placing it between his wet lips .

it went on like this for a while, passing the blunt back and forth, until it turned into blowing smoke into each others smokes .. which turned into a makeout sesh oh .. but what a twist .

your bottom half was naked, no pants, no panties no nothing, and so was his .. his dick filled you cunt whole as he held on to ur hips, making you bounce slowly and low, as you both made out passionately, so intimate it felt as if you had a dream about this before .

you fix your position in his laps, standing on your toes, still bench downwards full of him in your cunt .

you looked into his red puffy eyes, before holding onto his shoulders as you began to bounce, and bounce and bounce .

he grabbed ahould of your hips once more, helping go even fast, pushing you up and pulling you back down . rubbing against your ass and back, as he kissed your shoulder .

“sooo f’fuccin gorgeous sweetheart .. sososo pretty like this .. bouncing on my cock ..”

your head fell onto your arm as you nodded at his words.

you were so baffled, soo full, so into it .

your mouth sucked onto his forearm, as you felt his hands traveling, massaging between your legs and now onto your clit, small circles as you moaned pushing your hand into his neck .

“mhmmm darling .. let it out” he whispered in your ear as your bounces got stronger, the car started to move as well, and you were all in .

“haahh! fuck fuck ffff’mmm!”

he grinned at your word, as you pouted kissing him again as your quickened your hips, the sound of your guys skin slapping against each other filled the car, plop, plop, plop, plop .

his hands laced onto your breast, squeezing them through your bra, kissing all about them and up to ur neck sucking and leaving hickeys .

you hand fell to his shoulders holding onto them as you leaned forward kissing your lips against his wanting to be dominate, but failed as he took control .

the kiss was slow, aggressive but gentle as he held on your waist, rubbed on your hip before moving one hand to your center . circling around your clit once again, the pace painfully slow as you started grinding for more .

“se-miii.. please .. need you sosososo much please just—“

he shut you up by pressing your lips onto his once again, your hands flew to his hair as you wanted him closer, pulling away from the kiss and buring your hand into his shoulder and neck, trying to hide your moans .

you grinned much fast now, wanting to come undone quickly but he slowed you down, holding ur hips, as he kissed the side of your face .

“tryna leave me ?? slow downn baby—we got all night princess .”

you shook your head no, quickly moaning as you tried to give him a verbal response, “nooo-ah! please never—never—neverrrr!”

you babbled to him just as he kissing your jaw, teasing you enough to make you cum .

he’d help you bounce fast, and quick as hell, before making you go slow once you tighten that sloppy wet cunt around him, squeezing him with your walls .

loosing yourself into him.. babbling like crazy, you felt so full of him.

he easily wiping your mind clear of every that had happened this pass week and making you be the center of everything. after breathing into each other and taking in everything, you could feel that heavy weight building in your stomach .

just as his cock twitched against your cervix, you pushed down into him a little more you moaned as your walls tightening hard around him, hips bouncing uncontrollably on his dick, eyes rolling to the back of your head, feeling him already starting to cum inside you.

his cock still buried in you . as you both stayed in your places in the car, the silence comfortable to the both of you.

before you could get a word out, he flipped you guys over, youe back now pressed to the seat, as he pushed himself back inside of ur gushing pussy .. and started to thrust like crazy .. “im not finished princess, can you give me one more ?”

—

“.. YOU SURE WE SHOULD BE DOING THIS ?”

sum. 2 — you and your bestfriend, ji-yeong are so close, and i mean close to the point where u guys do anything and everything together .. like staying in the bathroom together and maybe .. in the tub as well ? ohh not maybe .. definitely .

TODAY STARTED OFF SO NORMAL LIKE ALWAYS JUST TWO BESTFRIENDS WHO DO EVERYTHING TOGETHER, you and ji-yeong were together as always .. laughing, chilling, and just being together in general . nothing to serious, nd nothing to ridiculous .

you guys been outside taking a walk and just chatting for a while, and we’re finally going inside . It was getting late anyways so ..

once you both got inside you ji-yeong complained bout whose going take a shower first and he finally agreed to let you go after a mighty long debate of you guys going back and forth .

you found your old soaps and cream you’d been left at his house probably months ago and bought it all to the bathroom, quickly as u started setting up everything, grabbing a wash cloth, dry-off towel and turning the water on, adding a liquid soap to add a little bit of bubbles, before rushing back into ji-yeong bedroom where he was laying shirtless on the bed throwing a ball up the air and catching it repeatedly .

you rolled your ass sitting on the floor next to his stand up mirror, adding rollers to your hair, taking you precious time, focusing on your hair .

you didnt even realize jo-yeong letting out 2 loud sighs to get your attention .. so he took matter into his own hands, dropped his sweat pants, and rushing into the bathroom as you finally finished with your hair, realizing he was gone and quickly running after him .

“ji-yeong dont play with me” you stated rushing into the bathroom just as he dropped his boxers .. you covered your eyes so fast but got a small glance at his .. yk.

choking on your words as he flopped into his bathtub filled with your water, bubbles and soaps on display .

“your such a jerk .”

he only laughed sticking out his tongue before laying back and relaxing .

you watched taking in every .. the water dripping from his chest, the bubbles around his legs and floating around his area .. you quickly looked away as your eyes trailed up to his eyes locking eye contact .

you moved to the sink and mirror, bending over with your mini-skirt falling a little exposing ur tattoo .

“dream girl hm ? whose dream girl .” he said with a hint of sarcasm .

you smiled bending more before turning your head, “your dream girl .” you laughed and he watched you in shock .

you smirked to yourself as you started applying your face mask, peeking at ji-yeong in the mirror as he watched your back, to your ass and thick thighs .. you wonder what he was thinking of until he started moving around in the tub as if he was uncomfortable .

‘hm .’ you mumbled before turning to him with the face mask cream in your hands, “look at me really quick .”

he looked at you with a flushed face, he was such a softie but mean at the same time, but you always liked that about him .

he lift his head up, looking you straight in the eyes as he tried to rest his flushed face but his red cheeks wouldnt go away, you laughed to yourself quietly as you cupped his jew bringing his face close to your making him even more flushed .

you smiled at that, just as you finished with the face mask, you dropped everything on the floor as you finally looked back into his eyes that were still on you .. you frozen as his eyes flicked to your plumped lips and back to ur eyes .

you were shook a little, but you did it back, but looked at his chest, lips then eyes before nodding to him as a sign .

you hand was still on his jew just was you pulled closer to him, he did as well, with his hand now gripping your forearm holding u in places as your lips finally touched .

it was soft, passionate, meaningful but it ended to quick .. he pulled away first as you stood that before getting to your feet and rising your face off cleaning off the face mask just as you got a face towel and wet it for him .

you guys haven’t said a word yet to each other, you just dropped to your necks and wiped the mask off of his face and he watched, carefully and closely, taking in your scent and embracing your eyes, lips everything about you .

you stood up once again, not think just as your slipped out of ur sandals, pushed your mini-skirt to the ground, throwing your shirt off your head, and he watched in awe .

“angel—no—you dont have to..” he tried to stop you as you hands found your panties .

you shook your head no at him, shush him as you pulled your panties down exposing your wet lips to him, before bringing your hands up to unpin your bra, letting it fall to the floor as well .

you stopped, looking him in the eyes as his traveled around your body before looking back into yours .

you smiled, before stepping in the tub, turning so he’d get a good view of your face, before dropping down lower where he could see your puffy slippery lips .. and sat into the water .

he groaned throwing his head back again the tile wall, biting his lip as he felt your ass brush against his dick—exhaling very shakingly as if he was scared for what was next .

you laid your head back onto his shoulder, feeling yourself pushed up against his problem, looking up to see him already looking as you started to plant small kissing against his jaw, traveling down his neck as you flipped yourself over in the tub, now facing him .

“ji-yeong ..” you whispered just said he looked away from you as u sat up revealing your full naked body .

“i cant look—im sorry ..” you stopped him mid sentence, as you grabbed his hand that was covered his face and placed it onto your chest, feeling you heart beat .

dragging his hand to your boobs, making him cupped one as you find his other hand and press it onto your waist telling him feel your body figure .. wanting him to actual feel and see you .

he finally opened his eyes, as you nodded to him, “you can look—i want you to .. see”

you spoke closely as you bought his hand back to your chest so he could feel your heart racing .

“ive been wanting this .. for a long time ji-yeong .. i know you have as well ..” you pressed your forehead against his as he finally started to let his eyes travel freely and visualize your body .

he mumbles cuss words underneath his breath, only making you lift his chew up to look at you in the face and take in the words you was telling him .

“ive see the way youve been looking at me ji-yeong .. tell me—or ill leave and we wont have to talk about this anymore—i promise .”

he stayed quiet, causing you to rethink everything .. did you just fuck up you and your bestfriends relationship ?

you silently shook your head, screaming to yourself silently as well, before standing up and reaching for a towel .

just as you stepped out, ji-yeong followed behind you, holding you by the waist in panic, “no—im sorry!”

you let out a soft sigh, “i want this .. i do—im just .. nervous .”

you nodded before turning to back him you kissed his shoulder, embracing him, skin to skin literally .

“kiss me ji.. kiss me .”

you begged, sounding so desperate only making him feel small, he kissed your lips slowly, soft like if you were to speed it up the kiss would stop sooner .. and he didnt want that to happen .. not even a little bit .

you kissed his check, down to his neck soft wet kisses, before you started to lick and suck .. just as he started to whimper .

“jiii—baby talk to me .. what do you want .”

he sighed nervously, whispering to you, “wan’ you to touch me.. and down there ..”

you dropped your towel, pulling him closer to you as his standing cock was not against your stomach .

“you want me to touch down there ..?”

he whined nodded his head, begging while saying ‘please [name] ill be good—i promise angel .’

you couldnt stop yourself as you dropped to your knees, looking up at him as he stared back down at you .. reaching for your hand as you gladly accepted and blew him a kiss as you locked hands with him .

you kissed his v-line, going looked to were you were now breathing on his tip, “im going to take care of you kno ji-yeong .. gonna be a goodboy and take it right ?”

he nodded his hand quickly as his bottom lip fell into his mouth as he bit it hard fighting the sounds coming from his mouth .

“say it hm, tell me baby tell me .”

and oh did he listen, “going to be [name]’s good boy, haah—and take wha’ she gives me ..”

he spoke softly in a low tone as his face turned even more flushed and red, you smiled and kiss the tip of his dick, gripping his hip with one hand, and the base of his cock with the other .

started leaving kitty licks on the tip, before looking up at ji-yeong faces, you kissing the side of his dick before reaching the base, moving your hand to kiss down to his balls before you squeezed them with your hand and watched his reaction .

ji-yeong let out a big mouth, which made your unclothed pussy leak freely onto the tile floors .

he begged for more and you gave it to him .

you finally opened tour mouth wide taking him all in, bumping your hand at his base for whatever your mouth couldnt reach, and he was dying for it .

you watched as his eyes rolled back, as the hand that was holding on to your grip tightened, making you hum against his dick only to get more of a reaction out of him .

you thrusted your mouth back and forth onto his cock, wanting more reactions and sounds to come from him .

taking in mental pictures of every face, every sound every whimper and whine that came out his mouth . his other hand gripped onto the bathroom counter, just as his body felt as if he was going to collapse, he steady himself head falling downwards looking at you, face all worn out, as if you were draining his soul from his body .

you moved both of your hands to his hip, pushing him into your mouth fast, showing him that he would help as well, and he did .

still holding on to your hand, he gripped the counter tightly, as he started to thrust his own hips, fast, and faster as he panted above your head locking eyes with you .

his eyes started to fall, wanting to close but he fought it, only staring at you as you nodded giving him a sign to release .

“haah- soo so so so gooddd [name] !” he panted as his hips couldnt stop moving, “cant stop.. fuccc pleaseee ..”

you giggle on his cock only to send him on the edge even more, his head fell back as the grip of your hands being lock together, and the grip on the counter was more intense, biting his lips as he whined about cumming .. finally releasing his thick load into your mouth, just as you looked up into his eyes and sallowed, before you grinned at him .

grabbing his thigh tightly, pulling him back into your mouth fast as you started bobbing your head once again and be babbled to you ..

“noo—noo more ..mmm.. haahhh! please please angel ”

—

“I FUCCIN’ KNO ITS FOR ME .”

sum. 3 — sae-byeok your ex. sees your instagram story with your new blue hair and wants to see it in person, but ends up on top of you telling you a bunch of ‘bullshit’ about how he misses you and your pretty pussy .. are u going to fall for it ??? hell yeah.

YOUVE BEEN WANTING TO DYE YOUR HAIR EVER SINCE YOU AND SAE-BYEOK BROKE UP, you wanted to look different—to show him that you were doing so much better without em .

and you got what you wanted after you posted this pic on your instagram story .. the same instagram that he stayed following even after you both stop talking nd broke up .

and oh did he see it ..

he surely fuckin did.

an hour later there was a knock on your door and you knew who exactly it was .

“cmon pretty ma, let me see that new hair hm.”

you placed your head to the door before letting out a sharp exhale, before twisting the door knob and letting him in, revealing you with your white lace bra, see through pink and white t-shirt, belly button piercing, mini shorts and your luxurious bright blue hair pushed back and flipped to the side, bringing out all of ur features .. making ur clean face glow as the sun beams into the room and onto you .

“damn..” he mumbled under his breath as he pushed his way inside of the house smirking .

kicking the door close, locking it behind himself as he rushed back towards you pinning you on the wall, “this is for me hm?”

“i fuccin’ kno its for me .” he said shaking his head side to side smiling down at you as you rolled your eyes .

“whatever floats your boat sae-byeok .” you hummed to yourself looking away .

he kissing the side of your mouth before turning at the smell that filled the room, your weed.

“ohh i came in at a good time hm pretty ?” he sat on youe couch, picking up the blunt taking a strong inhale from it, as you rushed towards him .

pulling the blunt out his mouth, “fuck no—i dont kno where your mouth has been these last couple of months .”

he smirked blowing the smoke into your face as he tensed up more, “last place my mouth been is on your pretty pussy.” he laughed in your face nd you sunk into the couch

groaning with annoyance at his words, he cups your face and soft kissing your jawline as you let him softly closing your eyes.

“its the truth i swear .. havent ate pussy since you left me.”

you laughed to yourself sighing while looking down.

“unt, unt—look a me.” he says as he grab you jaw with a strong grip, squeezing your cheeks to open your mouth as he blows smoke into your mouth .

flipping you both over where your back laying on the couch and hes on top of you .

kissing the side of your mouth, cheek down to your jawline, neck collarbone, the valley of your breast before cupping them in his hands .

you were flustered maybe it was couple of hits of the weed before you opened the door ? or maybe it was heat of the room ? no it was always how your body reacted to him touching you like this .. always and forever will be .

as he like to say .

“you miss this hm .. my babydoll .. i missed you as well—what i miss more is hearing this pussy talk to me.”

you whined as he spoke, and his hand traveled around your body, now cupping your pussy with one hand as he breathed onto it, making you squirm .

“please .. mm .”

he smirked, kissing your bottom lips though your thin shorts, making you whine more, “please ? you want me to lick all over your pussy hm ? ohh sweet girl i knew you missed me, imma give you everything you want but ian leaving this time .”

and you were just fine with that .

“gotta feel u real quick okay m’girl ?”

you just nodded as he placed his forehead against yours kissing your check before breathing against your lips .

he unbuckled his belt, unzipped his pants pushing them down quickly in a rush to release his cock, just as he spread your legs apart, pushed your panties and shorts to the side almost ripping them as you whimpers from the cold air on ur clit.

he bumps his dick in his hands for a quick minute before siding it between your puffy lips, groans and moaning as his hand felt into your neck and he moans into your skin panting and kissing, sucking on your neck .

your legs wrapped around him quickly, wanting more, faster, harder everything but he stopped .

“pretty girl—my my.. sweet girl—gonna let ‘sae’ eat this pussy ?” he asked biting ur earlobe as you moaned out ‘yes, of course sae ..’

he smiled at your words, kissing your lips once more before traveling back down between your legs, kissing each thigh before putting them on his shoulders mumbling small praise to your pussy as you whined and whimpered at his actions .

sae-byeok stuck his tongue out, looking back up at you as he pulled your thin shorts and panties up a little more to see your pussy print, before beginning to lap up your clothed slit ..

ohhh how you missed this

he knew how to take good care of you and your pretty pussy, you could never forget that.. ever.

his nose pressing against your sensitive clit, making you grind more and more against your clothes and his face wanting more every second .

“saeee- bab’please—“ you begged in a whisper just as he locked eyes with you once again .

you bit your lip, and he quickens his pace, licking, kissing with all sloppiness, not wanting to stop, not ever.

“hah—cmon sweet girl dont cum just yet hm ?”

you tried to reply back but just ended up moaning loudly, and he laughed .

quickly pulling your shorts and panties off of your body, before rising back up to kiss your lips, mumbling small compliments, “you’re my girl, my baby girl, i dont want anyone else but you .” and “you so so so pretty babydoll, i wont fuck up like i did last time .. i promise—i need you .”

on and on, just as he planted soft passionate but aggressive kisses onto your lips, sucking onto your neck and biting your earlobe, finally stroking his dick one again before placing it between your puffy lips, and grinding into you .

“haaahhh—fucc!” you moaned in his ear as he chuckled moving his hand to hold your waist making you grind back onto him, repeatedly over and over.

the moans were getting loudly, he was whimpered in your ear lowly and it just turned you om even more .. you came undone.

“gonna cummm .. m’gonna cummmm—saee please !” you moaned holding onto him tightly not wanting him to leave or to stop he let out a heated breath, trying to control himself before fell apart as well .. “im cumming with you—me too babydoll .l i promise fucccc—can’t hold it .. let go with me .”

and you did . foreheads pressed together, both of you panting trying to get more air then needed, the sticky nosies of his cock siding against your wet pussy filled the room as you both stared into each other’s eyes and came undone .

—

[ 𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐒 𝗇𝗈𝗍𝖾𝖽 ]

𝗍𝗁𝖾 ’𝗌𝗉𝖾𝖼𝗂𝖺𝗅’ 𝗐𝖺𝗌 𝗌𝗎𝗉𝗉𝗈𝗌𝖾 𝗍𝗈 𝖻𝖾 𝖺 𝟦𝗌𝗈𝗆𝖾 ．． 𝖻𝗎𝗍 𝗎𝗆．𝗂 𝖽𝗈𝗇𝗍 𝗄𝗇𝗈𝗐 𝗂𝖿 𝗂 𝗄𝗇𝗈𝗐 𝗁𝗈𝗐 𝗍𝗈 𝖽𝗈 𝖺 𝟦𝗌𝗈𝗆𝖾 𝖫𝖮𝖫－𝖲𝖮𝖱𝖱𝖸．𝖨𝖬 𝖳𝖱𝖸𝖨𝖭𝖦 𝖳𝖮 𝖴𝖯𝖫𝖮𝖠𝖣 𝖬𝖮𝖱𝖤 𝖡𝖴𝖳 𝖨 𝖦𝖤𝖳 𝖶𝖱𝖨𝖳𝖤𝖱𝖲 𝖡𝖫𝖮𝖢𝖪 𝖲𝖮 𝖬𝖴𝖢𝖧 𝖨 𝖩𝖴𝖲𝖳 𝖲𝖠𝖸 𝖥𝖴𝖢𝖪 𝖨𝖳 ． 𝖫𝖨𝖪𝖤 𝖠𝖢𝖳𝖴𝖠𝖫𝖫𝖸！𝖨 𝖧𝖠𝖵𝖤 𝖲𝖮 𝖬𝖠𝖭𝖸 𝖣𝖱𝖠𝖥𝖳𝖲 𝖶𝖨𝖳𝖧 𝖫𝖨𝖪𝖤 𝖭𝖮 𝖲𝖧𝖮𝖱𝖳 𝖸𝖤𝖳．． 𝖮𝖱 𝖠 𝖧𝖠𝖫𝖥 𝖮𝖥 𝖲𝖳𝖮𝖱𝖸 𝖡𝖴𝖳 𝖨𝖣𝖪𝖪𝖪𝖪 𝖨𝖥 𝖨𝖬 𝖦𝖮𝖨𝖭𝖦 𝖳𝖮 𝖯𝖮𝖲𝖳 𝖳𝖧𝖤𝖬 𝖠𝖫𝖫 𝖲𝖮？

𝖯𝖨𝖢𝖳𝖴𝖱𝖤 𝖢𝖱𝖤𝖣𝖨𝖳 𝖳𝖮 𝖳𝖧𝖤 𝖯𝖤𝖮𝖯𝖫𝖤 𝖮𝖭 𝖯𝖨𝖭𝖳𝖤𝖱𝖤𝖲𝖳 ！！

𝐢𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐠𝐮𝐲𝐬 𝐬𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡, 𝐢 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐬,𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐬, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐬, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 ..𝐢 𝐚𝐦 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐚𝐬 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐤𝐤𝐤, 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐢 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐮𝐠𝐞 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐦𝐥𝐲 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞, 𝐢𝐦 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐠𝐮𝐲𝐬 𝐝𝐢𝐝𝐧𝐭 𝐮𝐧𝐟𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐲𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐦𝐲 𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 .

𝐏𝐒. 𝖲𝖮𝖱𝖱𝖸 𝖥𝖮𝖱 𝖠𝖭𝖸 𝖬𝖨𝖲𝖳𝖠𝖪𝖤𝖲 𝖨𝖬 𝟤 𝖫𝖠𝖹𝖸 𝖳𝖮 𝖦𝖮 𝖱𝖤𝖱𝖤𝖠𝖣 𝖠𝖭𝖸𝖳𝖧𝖨𝖭𝖦 𝖨𝖳𝖲 𝖢𝖴𝖱𝖱𝖤𝖭𝖳𝖫𝖸 𝟥 𝖠𝖬．

— 𝐃𝐎 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐀𝐋 ©𝖱𝖮𝖬𝖠𝖭𝖲𝖢𝖮𝖬𝖨𝖭𝖦 —

[howtofightwrite]

What kind of wounds would a shotgun give to someone thats not wearing any bullet proof vest but just thick, winter jackets? Like those heavy jackets with fleece on the inside that old guys wear alot. ( I think its called a work jacket?)

I've always thought a shot gun would give some sort of blast damage and make quite a mess, but in The Day of The Jackal ep 6 it didn't seem that bad when he killed that farmer guy in Hungary lol.

So here's a fun thought to play with. A leather jacket is made from treated animal hide. In most cases, they're actually softened a bit to be more comfortable.

Shotguns are frequently used to hunt large game. Large game where their primary form of armor is their skin. Their skin which does almost nothing to stop a shotgun blast.

So, unless it's loaded with something like rocksalt, a leather jacket is not stopping a shotgun.

In answer to your original question, “what kind of wounds?” Catastrophic ones. It would be really messy.

Also, remember shotguns are still usable up to ~100 meters, at which they'll have a roughly 2m spray pattern. Getting hit by a shotgun, even at 50 meters, is going to be really bad. It's a bit like hitting someone simultaneously with a hail of small caliber rounds. Individually one piece of shot isn't likely to be lethal, but get hit with five or six of them, and that's a real problem. It's going to create a bunch of wound channels, and each wound has a chance to hit something vital, or ricochet and try again. And even at best, you're going to be losing blood from each of them simultaneously.

As for actual armor, most Level III or higher armor should stop a shotgun blast. However, shotguns are pretty good at damaging body armor. So someone wearing a ballistic vest who takes a shotgun hit, probably isn't going to be safe from the next pistol round that hits their vest anywhere near where the shot landed.

Similarly, with plate carriers, it should be fine, but there's a real risk that some of the shot chipped the plate. That's not going to cause the next shotgun blast to punch through, but it does mean that carrier now can't be trusted to stop rifle rounds.

Now, none of that are things you usually obsess over. For the most part, ballistic armor is single use anyway. If you're wearing a Kevlar vest and get shot, it's time to replace that vest. So, having your vest soak a shotgun hit isn't some kind of special tactic on your enemy's part, and is really just your vest doing its job.

Against unarmored targets, shotguns can be downright horrific.

So, using a winter parka to stop a shotgun blast is probably the result of someone who heard the, “shotguns are horrible at armor penetration,” line and took it a little bit too seriously.

There are some AP shells out there. Including slugs that market themselves as armor penetrating. I've never looked too deeply in to these. I know of their existence, but not how effective they actually are.

There's also probably some close quarters scenarios where a slug might punch right through body armor, even though, generally speaking, slugs lose energy extremely quickly, and at mid to long range, they're not going to penetrate. Ultimately, it is an 18mm bullet without a lot of powder behind it, so the drop off makes sense, but it's still a lot of mass to deal with when it's leaving the barrel. Even if your armor holds up, taking that hit is probably not going to be fun.

-Starke

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[clanwarrior-tumbly]

hey, could I request a fic for ena dream bbq? Ena x reader who's a slightly funky version of a mars rover.

They look like the spirit/opportunity rovers for the most part, with the whole robot head and solar panel wing thing going on. But, their wheels are floating just a little off the ends of their leg thingies, and they can separate into individual pieces making up hands/feet, and their body and legs are a bit more articulated, so the reader can stand up in a more humanoid shape if they so choose.

And on their head, they have a small screen near their cameras, which they use to show emotion using emoticons, because it's a low resolution screen that pretty much only displays a few characters of text. So they just kinda go :] <:D >:/ :P BJ X0 ;3 ':2 c: D8 ',:) :7 (individually not all at once) when they are talking to people. Sometimes they display a word or a few symbols instead tho, like "there's a 37 percent chance of that happening" and their screen says 37%, or they go ??? When confused or something.

They usually stay in regular rover form while traveling, driving on their wheels, and go humanoid when they need to carry something, talk to people, or generally are in a situation where hands are useful. They do have one arm that isn't one of their wheels, but it has somewhat delicate scientific equipment in it, so they don't use it as much for everyday stuff. They also turn off their screen when they aren't actively trying to convey emotions, so usually only when alone or around people they know well and trust.

theyre working together with ena, and on the side just casually taking soil samples and pictures of interesting things. Write whatever you feel like, one shot, hc, anything, whatever you feel inspired to write. Preferably platonic, but if you wanna write a romance I won't stop you. (If you wanna add any other characters like coral glasses or Kane or something that could also be fun, even someone from the series like classic ena or shepherd, but that makes things more complicated so you very much don't have to)

Have a nice day! :D

(sorry this ask is so long and probably goes into unnecessary detail, im a rambler and decided to give a whole character description for some reason ':∆. You don't need to write this if you don't wanna)

This is a cool concept! I don't mind the extra details! Hope hcs are alright

..........

While you don't recall when or where you were built, you do know your purpose: take pictures of intriguing subjects, steal soil and rock samples, etc. etc. Everything you've once done in space, you do here on this world.

But it felt less like a job and more like a hobby. Something that stimulated your circuitry and allowed you to experience "joy" (which you once thought was strictly reserved for living organisms) in everything you found.

Your creators have long since forgotten you...or maybe they all died and didn't think you'd outlive them. You had no orders to follow. No signals to relay. No real mission to accomplish.

So you took it upon yourself to join Ena and Froggy's group, wanting to have some sort of directive, even if it meant helping them accomplish whatever business called for them to do.

Some days, you'd be in the Hub, assisting Coral Glasses with her work regarding the Horse Door, faxing her blood samples and other interesting specimen you've picked up, or she might print a picture of something bizarre she found and ask for your input.

You weren't programmed with a voice (which she doesn't mind since she's not a fan of social interactions and lengthy chats). Instead, you communicate through a screen next to your cameras, which display a variety of emoticons, emojis, and symbols. It's not the greatest resolution, but it gets your point across.

Some icons are indicative of approval, some of disdain, and others...would be confusing for the average person to understand.

For Froggy? He tends to mistranslate what you're trying to say and has the nerve to ask why you made a >:( face.

For Kane? He gets it half the time.....but he's more worried about getting his coins stuck in your wheels again.

For Ena? It's no problem. She knows exactly what you mean every time, acting like she's been there since your construction, while also respecting your autonomy.

When your new and current directive became "eliminate the smoke", you thought the tasks leading to its completion would be simple.

But with Ena, it turns out to be anything but that.

In the Lonely Door, you noticed that the Uncanny Streets had a dry deserted terrain. You had a phobia of dust storms and your wheels getting stuck in sand traps, but thankfully the conditions here don't permit such occurrences. And your solar panels are always keeping your batteries charged, as it never gets dark, either--so in short, travelling around would be the least of your concerns.

While your screen initially displays nothing as you scan the environment, Ena somehow knows what you're thinking and pats the top of your head.

"This will be a great opportunity to gather vital intel and ask invasive questions!" Salesperson grins. "I can smell the opportunities from up here, my friend. Don't you?"

":U....<:)"

"That's the spirit! I couldn't have said it better myself! I vow to get to the bottom of this mysterious Gen--bAthR00M."

"🚽?"

"Ew! I didn't need to see THAT!!!" Meanie pretends to retch. "Go take 300 pictures of that cloud for me, you hunk of metal!!"

Funny enough, you don't take her demands as an insult. Your storage is like a bottomless pit, so you could hypothetically take 300 pics of one singular cloud if its shape and placement in the sky intrigued you enough.

But you'd rather stick with her and assist her with the different jobs she's been given.

You can shift between your primary vehicle mode and your more humanoid one for easy interactions with folks--although you being taller than Ena in that latter form leads to Meanie pouting and grumbling under her breath when she thinks you can't see her.

Too bad for her, as your camera/eyes can see 360.

While she talks to people (which is really them messing with her and claiming to be the boss, insulting her species, and eventually giving her something to do), you're just taking pictures of things like the giant melded into the building, the black tree without leaves that's wandering about the outskirts, or the alienlike Wanderers in the sky.

Rescuing Shoryo's pets/babies is easy, as you're able to maneuver around tight spaces and let them rest on your platform, driving them back to the horselike entity.

He felt flattered that you "delivered them to [him] on a silver platter"...which left you wondering if he intended to eat them.

Before you can question it, there's an explosion and you see Ena and the Shaman outside of the now-destroyed Seal House.

After she's given the humanboard, you discover fertile soil deposits around the streets, learning that the head can grow into a full body and help her reach higher places.

The ribcages buried within the dirt intrigued you, but oddly enough...she didn't want you to take any bone samples.

All you wanted to do was perform a light brush, a gentle abrasion on the surface. Just enough to get a microscopic calcium extract so you could determine how old it is.

You had no idea what overcame Ena when her clawed hand latches onto your delicate arm unexpectedly, threatening to damage your analyzers, drills bits, and other scientific equipment embedded into it.

It sets off internal alarms, red lights flashing across your vision, but you silence those in favor of staring at her. "🦴❌?"

"I just....don't want you to do that. It might hurt him.." Meanie's voice drops into a low whisper, something extremely uncharacteristic of her, as her mitten hand trembles and cradles the humanboard closer to her chest. Like some maternal instinct had overtaken her. "Please.."

Your screen goes dark, but you comply and leave the soil alone.

Perhaps not everything needs exploration.

[accio-victuuri]

April 2025 CPNs round-up ❤️💛💚

the start of the month was actually quite eventful, celebrating april fools with the best clowns in chinese domestic entertainment. lol. it started with a double fake rumor which was bits of old rumors pieced together. then as usual for this day, fansite team building happens. meaning, fs for specific celebrities will post about other people. so we supported ones that posted about our boys. a good summary of those are here and there is a good number. whether that’s bjyx or them as individual.

that led to bojunyixiao being on top of the hot search list. this is so fitting for april fools! knowing how much we clown! lol. but seriously, it’s so nice to see how active the fandom still is. the whole fandom has been summoned by the photos shared. there is really nothing new — but we all got excited. that’s how great cpfs are! so sorry ( not really ) to our haters cause we are not going away anytime soon. 💅🏻💅🏻💅🏻

okay, now let’s go to the actual cpns we enjoyed this month! ⬇️⬇️⬇️

• there is a repo from a kid yibo worked with for the bananain shoot. he mentioned that wyb does not smile much, but he does when he looks at his wechat. lol. so we gotta clown all the times you can him smiling down while looking at his phone, probably talking to xz.

• the very lucky ones who already got their WM vinyl noticed how the design is written looks like an 8 and 3. that’s them. Bo and Zhan. 🥹🥹🥹🥹 we know how XZ likes to hide things in plain sight when it comes to his art. so this is a classic example.

• this comparison! they are twins! i wish they could have had this kind of hair at the same time.

• croissant in lacoste ad 🥐🥐🥐

• At the time of writing, GG has not been officially announced to be a part of this rumored drama. @rainbowsky made a really good primer for it over here so you can go ahead and look. but it’s basically screaming the same timeline as yibo’s war of faith. lol. so of course, whoever this character is will be wei ruolai’s husband in the yizhan multiverse! i’m looking forward to it! 🙌🏼

• video “proof” in zhuhai race last year where someone mentions zhan ge + the plot thickens that xz was actually there that time

• this went on HS 4/13 for some reason. there may be some context that i missed lol. but tbh, who cares. they are both successful in their own way in the age they are in. there is no “catching up” to do because they are in different tracks. 💛💛💛

i personally get defensive when it comes to their careers and achievements, i hate tying them up in that aspect. or wanting both to have the same exact things. it does not work that way. i believe in supporting what they do and i accept the fact that sometimes one has more than the other in certain aspects and how that’s okay. i could write up a whole thing on this topic and my thoughts on it but i don’t think the fandom is ready that for that conversation. lol.

• WMWM clothing brand x WM album - another example of the universe conspiring to give them some obscure connection.

• THIS. We are so blessed to have them in Magazine Issues that show their long hair 😍😍😍

how can you not love them both? talented and beautiful creatures!

• WYB’s May Vogue 2025 issue candies

• there is some buzz around xz being spotted passing by Wuhan and him going home immediately. of course we think it’s because Bobo is in Beijing. So he has to be with him 🤡🤡🤡

• our boys greeting sina for their 25th anniversary 🫶🏼

• On 4/20 xz was spotted attending a concert in Beijing with his parents. the “empty” space there is being filled with WYB by us clowns. lol. we don’t have facts but more of wishful thinking since they are both in Beijing. personally, i think people WYB is there because of how happy XZ is. not saying he cannot be happy without WYB, it’s just that there is something more of it’s related to WYB. 🤡🤡🤡

• revisiting an old rumor of them having a skiing show together

• XZ arrives in Shanghai while WYB is there for a race and the next day WYB goes MIA and can only be seen during practice - finally, a timeline of sorts and cpn interpretation of what happened during the weekend✌🏼 on 0428, both Lele and Dabo were seen by chance and people are saying their staff seem to be on holiday. so maybe that’s because the two lovebirds are chillin at home in Beijing. yes please! or maybe they gave their staff some time off after a busy weekend 😋

• WYB is interested in Vinyl record

• WYB saying an expression that is common in Sichuan/Chongqing

see you next month! 🫶🏼💕

<< previous post

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

miscellaneous fellow honest headcanons

These aren't following any prompt in particular, these are just thoughts I had when I saw the guy hammin' it up and then turning on us.

Some of these headcanons are informed by fan art I've seen and discussions I've had with friends, while others are purely me.

Curiouser and Curiouser...

He calls people “little lads” and “little ladies”.

Fellow has a very noticeable laugh. Like, he grunts and snorts and has tears rolling down his cheeks. (He tends to laugh at others’ misery, thinking of it as “retribution” or “payback” for the injustices he has suffered himself.)

Bro shaves using a knife (yes, he shaves because he is a grown ass man) because razors are hella expensive.

He uses that cheap cologne and cakes it on THICK. This, in his mind, gives off the impression that he’s a well-off and put-together individual you should tooootally trust.

Also the type of person that lays it on thick with his words. If he’s trying to impress a date or something, he’ll shower them with so many compliments it almost seems fake. But no, he’s just the type to simp hard when he happens to be genuine 💀 most of the time he’s faking it though—

He’s very street smart, but in a way where he confuses hostile people by talking over them and acting overly friendly. They usually stuns them long enough for him and Gidel to skedaddle.

If he gets dumped, he'd be the pathetic whimpering boyfriend that begs for his ex to take him back. When they inevitably don't, he mopes all day about it.

He chain smokes and aggressively drinks as a coping mechanism on his bad days 😔 and sometimes he gambles (like, on those scratch-off cards) hoping that he'll strike it rich and buy him and Gidel a better life...

Basically, he generally does not have his shit together but tries his best to pass like someone who does (and usually succeeds at it).

Fellow appears in public wearing his full suit, but at home (ie whatever ratty temporary housing their boss found for them before they move on to the next place) he just wears a T-shirt and lounges around in boxers (and sometimes socks with holes in them).

He uses those disposable eyeshadow wands that snap in half at the slightest bit of too much pressure. Fellow acts like the Claire’s kid makeup he uses is the luxury stuff, but Vil can tell the pigmentation isn’t all there and there’s MAD fallout.

He may be broke AF and have his moments of emotional spiraling, but he has pretty decent budgeting skills. Fellow lives for sales and does extreme couponing to stretch their money as far as it will go.

He invests in other cost-saving methods like wearing shoes until the sole is literally flopping off and just adding water to residual soap in a pump bottle to make the soap "last longer".

Fellow is really good at cutting food (bread, beans) thin to conserve it. Yes, this is a reference to an old Mickey Mouse cartoon—

When he was younger, he had dreams of being an actor (and, more specifically, starring in musicals). That's why he's often humming, swinging around his cane, and/or whistling as he's on the prowl for idiots to sucker—they're remainders of his thespian days before his dreams were crushed into itty bitty pieces.

Man looks like he'd be great at tap dancing.

Before his current gig, he tried a bunch of other scams including a MLM at one point to get by. His signature spell came in pretty clutch in those days too.

Fellow’s not that good at reading or spelling—in fact, he was never a particularly strong student. (“I didn’t fail school!! The schools failed ME!!”) He’s easily frustrated by academics and thinks there should be more hands-on and practical skills taught in learning institutions.

I think it's a given that he and Ruggie would be besties since they both want to eat the rich but I also think Fellow would kiss ass to Azul and then rage about how shitty + entitled Azul is (Azul reminds Fellow of his boss)💀 Scammers hate other scammers because they're both competing to scam the same people--

Even though Fellow is an asshole to most others (well, when he’s not flattering them to lure them into a trap), he’s always nice to Gidel and puts him first. If there’s ever a situation where they’re short on something (clothes, food, etc), Gidel gets priority. This is why Gidel has a full outfit (even if parts are patches or mismatched) whereas Fellow himself has a glove that is so worn out there’s a hole in one of the pinkie fingers.

Fellow may not be blessed with a bounty of magic, but he’s quick on his feet and good with words. Because of these skills, he’s talented at spinning bedtime stories, which he often tells to Gidel to help him fall asleep on nights that are particularly cold and nasty.

Gidel still believes in Santy Claws and wishing upon stars, and Fellow doesn’t have the heart to tell him the truth. He’ll figure it out on his own one day, Fellow thinks. He just doesn’t want to be the one to ruin those childhood joys for him.

Playing pretend is another shared past time of theirs. It helps Fellow get into character before he goes off to swindle people, and it gives Gidel a way to express himself in spite of being mute. They have a routine they do together where Fellow pretends to be a doctor diagnosing a patient and Gidel takes down notes for him as his medical scribe. Yes, this is a Pinocchio reference—

They actually have many more games they play (mainly because they cannot afford other forms of entertainment). Some of the games are clever ruses conjured by Fellow to teach Gidel survival tips and tricks: the who-can-make-their-piece-of-bread-last-longer game, hide-and-seek (from the authorities), etc.

For special occasions, Fellow saves up some money on the side to grant Gidel little luxuries, like a box of crayons to doodle with.

Gidel hugs Fellow’s leg or waist to cheer him up when he’s upset. He also hides behind Fellow when he’s scared or feeling shy.

He’s just really attached to Gidel cuz they have no one else in this cruel world, just them against the world 😔 He sees a lot of his younger self in the little boy… the opportunities lost because of their circumstances… “It’s alright, Gidel. Leave it to Fellow-sama.”

[alicedrawslesmis]

(sorry this is from a week ago but) Wait, what's going on right now that's complicated with Amazonian farmers' land rights?

Not farmers, indigenous people

See, recently they put a new law through congress that severely reduces indigenous land to the borders established during the late dictatorship, or immediately post-dictatorship, in 1988. An absolute joke of a border that was dreamed up by some military assholes. People in america may recognize this type of society from the times of westward expansion and think this is a thing of the past because for you guys it is. But here it is a reality. Murder is rampant. The reach of the law is incredibly limited. Government is just too weak and landowners basically run things. THAT'S WHY it's so important to donate directly to the native peoples instead of random NGOs because native people are fucking there and the more power they hold in the land the safer the land will be from agroindustrial expansion.

Well the law was vetoed by the the president and the Supremo Tribunal Federal, aka supreme federal court, labeled it as unconstitutional. Which it is, because our 1988 constitution describes native american land rights in some of its first articles. We thought this would be it for the law

But then the senate (that already overrepresents landowners in rural states) just went along and approved it anyway. I had no idea they could approve something unconstitutional. The progressives and particularly the socialists are fighting this in court. But it happens that for now the legal border is the severely reduced version.

Doesn't mean they'll just give up, because as it happens we don't have any stand your ground laws so even if you own a piece of land, you cannot legally speaking just shoot everyone there. Or attack or threaten them in any way. They'll just have long legal battles individually for the rights to occupy land based on use. Also the Xingu national park, the largest preserved land of the Amazon described as 'larger than Belgium', is being encroached by huge farms that are poisoning their water supply. The border is Visible. I'll try to find video of it but essentially you have a forest and a desert separated by a strict line.

Just last week in the south of Bahia (not the Amazon, let me explain more about the Amazon situation in a bit) Hãhãhãe leadership Nega Muniz Pataxó was shot and killed by an armed militia group that invaded and occupied the Caramuru territory.

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A post shared by SOMOS PATAXÓ HÃHÃHÃE (@somoshahahai)

The situation in the Amazon, specifically the yanomami territory in Roraima our northernmost state, aka deep forest, is more dire than average given difficulty of access, sheer size, and government abandonment. It's a place that depends on government aid for medicine. It's land that is being systematically invaded by gold miners, pandemic, toxins from nearby farmlands, wood extraction etc. (wood extration is rampant everywhere tho). Early 2023 saw a massive federal government operation by now president Lula to empty the mines and try to look for where funding comes from. Yanomami land is still being invaded to this day, the struggle is ongoing.

The yanomamis need support right now more than any other. Last year saw a massive heat wave that (well, one, caused a girl named Ana Clara Machado to die during the Taylor Swift concert. This is unrelated but I feel like not enough foreign media covered this, Taylor even lied about it as well.) dried up a lot of rivers, killed a LOT of fresh water animals including an unprecedented amount of pink dolphins. Access that was already hard became damn near impossible without boats. I cannot overstate how many pink dolphins were found dead.

Another technique that landowners use to clear space for farms is to just set things on fire and then occupy the empty land, which they legally can do to land that was naturally burned in a forest fire. It happened that Pantanal, another national park of swampland, was massively devastated by fires last year too

this article is from 2020, the year that the worst fire happened, but in 2023 there was another one. It's been happening yearly now due to a) deliberate action and b) climate change aggravation.

And this is not nearly all. Just off the top of my head. If you speak portuguese I recommend following the APIB or the COIAB on instagram to keep up with the news. The FUNAI is the government branch of indigenous organization, but it's not generally that well liked. Still.

[hollowed-theory-hall]

Hello! I've been loving reading your metas (especially about Hinny, since I could never quite articulate why I thought they didn't work) and I was wondering: what do you think of the Mauraders friendship? To me it seems a bit baffling, but that could just be JKR's poor grasp of timelines and details.

But it seems that the Mauraders are a close friend group (like, you don't make the map and spend 3 years working on an illegal and potentially fatal Animagus transfiguration on a lark) that as soon as they graduate and join the Order they seem to fall apart. Which I can buy, given the high stress low trust environment they're in, but it seems weird that only Sirius and Remus suspect each other, and I don't think we know why? I could also be forgetting something.

Thank you! 💖

I talked about the Mauraders as individuals a bit here, but their friendship is not as close-knit and happy as the fandom likes to think. I think their dynamic was always more complicated than that.

Like, what you have is James & Sirius who practically fell into friendship at first sight, and have always been the closest in the Marauders group. Remus and Peter were a little bit afterthought. I mean, in SWM, James and Sirius respect each other:

“If it bothers you,” he said, stuffing the Snitch back in his pocket. Harry had the distinct impression that Sirius was the only one for whom James would have stopped showing off.

[...]

“Well, I thought that paper was a piece of cake,” he heard Sirius say. “I’ll be surprised if I don’t get Outstanding on it at least.” “Me too,” said James.

But clearly, don't share that same respect for Remus, whose lycanthropy isn't taken seriously:

“Did you like question ten, Moony?” asked Sirius as they emerged into the entrance hall. “Loved it,” said Lupin briskly. “ ‘Give five signs that identify the werewolf.’ Excellent question.” “D’you think you managed to get all the signs?” said James in tones of mock concern. “Think I did,” said Lupin seriously

[...]

“I’m bored,” said Sirius. “Wish it was full moon.” “You might,” said Lupin darkly from behind his book.

Or Peter who is always the butt of the joke:

Wormtail was the only one who didn’t laugh. “I got the snout shape, the pupils of the eyes, and the tufted tail,” he said anxiously, “but I couldn’t think what else —” “How thick are you, Wormtail?” said James impatiently. “You run round with a werewolf once a month —” “Keep your voice down,” implored Lupin.

[...]

“Put that away, will you?” said Sirius finally, as James made a fine catch and Wormtail let out a cheer. “Before Wormtail wets himself from excitement.” Wormtail turned slightly pink but James grinned.

There is a reason in PoA everyone mentions James and Sirius in the same breath, but they don't mention Remus. There is a reason James and Sirius were: "you didn't see one without the other" and the other Marauders weren't brought up. They weren't as close.

Like, I know from what I've seen in my high school that teenagers' friendships can be really weird and not necessarily good friendships (adult friendships can be like that too, I just think it's easier to fall into in a school-like environment where you are together most of the day — especially in a boarding school, I mean, they shared a dormitory, hey were together 24/7 for 7 years, they kinda had to be friendly with each other). The Mauraders have an unequal dynamic; they aren't the picture of a perfect friend group.

Sirius and James lived together (with Lily) after graduating, but Remus and Peter didn't. It all follows the same pattern.

This friend group was built around James and his charisma. Sirius is probably more alright with Dark Magic than James was ("The world isn't divided into good people and Deat Eaters"), but I'd go on a limb and say he never told James that because just like Remus and Peter he was desperate to be liked by James (I think he saw James liking him as a sign of his goodness and not being like his family). The difference is, James saw Sirius as an equal and respected him in a way he didn't Remus and Peter. He liked them, he liked their attention, but I don't think he saw them as equals to himself and Sirius.

Sirius clearly didn't see Peter and Remus as the same as James. He is the one making fun of Peter more than the others. I think he didn't think Peter would betray them because he looks down on him. He thought Peter worships James too much to betray him (a little projection of his own sense of loyalty as well) — and he was wrong.

The friendship fell apart becouse it was built on sharing a dorm room and being silly together, not on real respect and connection (at least in the case of Remus and Peter. Peter liked being part of the group, Remus was glad to have friends at all, Sirius wanted to be everything his family wasn't, and James was just being himself and had fun). When I read Sirius and Remus' interactions in PoA and later, they always gave me a weird vibe. Like they are both desperate for a sense of normalcy and connection that they remembered from school, but are both completely different people than they were back then, and even then, they weren't as close as either of them was to James. They are both trying to replace James with the other. (If only more Wolfstar fics portrayed them like that and like they weren't that close in school, I might've been more into it)

To illustrate, I always saw their dynamic when at school as something like this:

James also suspected Remus, Remus never doubted Sirius was to blame when he was sent to Azkaban because this entire friend group was around James. And it was also a mess. So, it just makes sense. Sirius never really respected Remus as much as James and Remus knew that.

TL;DR, the Mauraders weren't that close-knit of a friend group as the Mauraders fandom likes to believe.

[hotvintagepoll]

Do you have any opinions on modern (post-1970s) movies that you feel capture the essence (in a good way) of Old Movies?

No, unfortunately. That doesn't mean I don't like modern movies or that modern movies aren't good, but modern movies—and here I'm really using modern to mean post-2010, so contemporary movies—have different standards for pacing, characterization, budget, and production that make it harder (or impossible) to capture some of the magic of old movies. Even when modern movies clearly try to emulate that old-movie feeling—I'm thinking of La La Land, The Artist, The Shape of Water, In the Heights—they play the homage too broadly, or they ignore crucial components that make the original films work.

There's kind of too much to go into here without writing a full essay, but essentially, the Old Hollywood system—ugly, failed beast as she was—made some movies simply more accessible to make, due to the ongoing storage of props, sets, master craftsmen, crew, and onscreen talent that could move from one movie to the next without pause. If you needed a dancer, he was already on staff. If you needed a fancy bed, it was already in the warehouse. That kind of longterm storage is invaluable if you want to crank out movies quickly and cheaply because it saves so much time on individual negotiation and sourcing. Modern production companies have to work out individual contracts for every actor on every film; crew members have to negotiate rental contracts and source pieces from scratch; if you need someone with specialist skills, you have to contract them specially at a high rate, which a lot of small companies can't (or won't) budget to do. There's sand in the wheels where there needn't be any. It's wasteful, and costly, but that's the system modern movies are made with.

Which all means that even if the modern movie system wanted to make a classic movie musical just like the old ones, they couldn't, because the talent isn't already there—it hasn't been trained up enough, and there's not that breadth of knowledge you can only get from people who have been allowed to work in the same department in the same place for decades. Movies like La La Land fail, for me, because they present themselves as descendants of Fred Astaire or Busby Berkley movies, while missing the bit where Fred Astaire was a master of his craft. When you watch Fred Astaire dance—or Moira Shearer, or the Nicholas Brothers, or Ann Miller—you are watching a true artist at work, purposely showcased by the studios because they already have them on contract. Modern movies, on the other hand, tend to take people who already have star talent (as actors) and try to convert them into dancers/singers—or they pull dancers/singers off of Broadway, but then they don't have the star power built in. You end up with lackluster musicals where no one truly knows what they're doing, or they do but they're not built up enough by the studios to sell. And that's me discussing just on-screen talent for musicals—there is a huge loss behind the scenes, as well, for all kinds of movies, where roles that would have been filled by union crew who moved continuously from one job to the next have been swapped for freelance labor who live with immense turnover, financial insecurity, and knowledge loss. You could hand me the budget and I could try to make an old movie, but the industry itself has changed so much it's impossible to recapture that charm of steady, niche talent, the amazing possibilities of bonkers set design, and the ability to take a risk on a smaller movie because the other films being produced by the same studio can help balance the budget.

I've talked way, way too much about all of this! Sorry, I just have a lot of thoughts—and the one above is just one of them; the talent loss and storage issues are only facets of a much bigger problem that extends to how we watch movies today, how we market them, what we expect of them, and what's allowed in them. It's a crying shame because the talent is still there, but times change and so does the industry, for better or for worse. (And, just again to clarify, I don't think modern movies are bad—they're just missing a lot of the juice old movies got to play with, even if there's more talent available than ever before.)

[daosies]

the divine disorder

this piece is part of the spring & swag event!!

Sunday dislikes frivolous people, and yet, here you are: divine.

sunday ♡ gn!reader

warnings: graphic metaphors for eating & descriptions of food (+ chewing), sunday story spoilers, post-penacony sunday, pre-established relationship

notes: instead of stuttering hearts, sunday has twitchy wings MUEHEHEHE (also pls pls pls be warned if u r sensitive to graphic descriptions of chewing & eating bc i really went bananas when describing sunday and mc having a meal together o(￣┰￣*)ゞ)

Sunday’s dream is complex: create a utopia, a perfect world where there is nothing but dreams and hope and flight—a perfect world where no one must weep, where no one must feel sorrow or pain. But how is that possible? To feel joy without understanding sadness? To never weep again if one has never wept? 

Sunday’s dream is complex, terribly so. But he, of all people, knows that fact the most poignantly. 

After all, who would know the pain of falling better than Icarus himself? The grief of the limitless expanse; the touch of the sun, just within reach; the crash of the waves, slamming against his spine. Sunday’s dream is complex. But that doesn’t mean he won’t don those wax wings again, that he won’t reach for the sun once more, wondering if this time, the warmth will be tender. 

Maybe it’ll be worth it. Maybe the warmth of the sun will be incomparable, and it’ll be shared, and everyone in the whole, entire universe can feel its gentle embrace. 

The sun. The warmth. The ocean, below, its harsh waves blending into the point where it looks stagnant. Because from the sun, everything looks tiny—everything looks kind. 

And maybe it won’t be. Maybe the sun will remain as it is: striking, ravenous, inevitable. Maybe the sun will sear him again, maybe the fall into the ocean will be harsher than the last—but, after arriving at the Astral Express, and after experiencing what little bits of the Trailblaze that he has been privileged to have, Sunday thinks that it’s a possibility that he must prepare for. 

But not a possibility that he will resign himself to; you taught him that.

When he had first boarded the Express, debt-ridden, suspicious towards the IPC, leaving everything that he had ever known behind (his sister, his home, the Order), Sunday thought that there was nothing left for him. He thought that it was over. He was scared. 

The unknown was scary—and space, oh, space! Space is a vacuum of the unknown! The cosmos, the world, the universe—it was all so much larger than himself, larger than Penacony, larger than the venues that his sister performed at; it was scary. So, so scary. 

Everything overwhelmed him. Like the windows of the express (it wasn’t really the windows that scared him; that’d be absurd, it was more like seeing the quiet, limitless expanse of the universe through just a pane of glass that really worried him), like the constant appearance and disappearance of different individuals from a myriad of walks in life (one day, he’d see someone from the Xianzhou Alliance, and the next, some wandering man who was searching for the Aeon of Beauty).  

There were always so many things happening. What overwhelmed him the most, however, was you. 

You, who seemed to make the breadth of the universe pale in comparison to your colossal existence. You, who never once doubted him and his complex dream; you, who didn’t seem to mind his desperation to maintain order and disorder all at the same time. It was embarrassing, really. 

“I’m sorry to keep you waiting,” he had said one night, after rearranging the utensils which surrounded his plate, organizing the forks and knives in descending order before scrambling everything once again when he realized how important it was to embrace imperfection. 

“It’s fine,” you replied, shrugging. “Want chopsticks?” 

Sunday felt the feather of both his wings twitch, his face feeling warm—like the breath of the sun, like the radiance of the light—from embarrassment. While he had been rearranging his utensils, you had simply been staring at him, holding a single pair of chopsticks, waiting. 

“That would be preferred,”—he had did everything in his power that night, as your fingers brushed with his, as he held the chopsticks in between his defeated fingers, to not avert his eyes from yours, to maintain decorum and calm the flutter of his wings—“again, my apologies.”

You hadn’t even responded. Once he had held the chopsticks, and once he had seemed to let go of his personal gripe with the order of his utensils, you had started eating. All Sunday could do was watch. 

In between mouthfuls of your food—which, of course, peeved Sunday a little (he was taught all his life the etiquettes of table manners and one of them, the most basic one, was to not talk with food in your mouth)—you had asked, “Why aren’t you eating?”

“I prefer to wait a little,” he had paused before saying, “to savor the moment.” 

“Oh!” you exclaimed. “That’s deep. Maybe I should do that too…” Your gaze trailed back down to your food (and something within Sunday, maybe it was his heart, maybe it was his blood, he didn’t know it at the time, what it was—but something trembled, mourning the loss of your eyes which, for but a brief, but lovely moment, belonged wholly to him). 

“On second thought,” you said, still chewing, “nevermind.” 

It is true that Sunday likes to wait before eating; it’s a way of paying respect to the privilege, a way to relish in the sensation, the enormity of taste. But Sunday’s habit goes beyond just taste itself; it’s about the moment, it’s about the act of dining with someone else, the act of trusting and being in someone’s presence to the point where he feels safe enough to ingest something; to survive in front of someone else, to satiate in front of someone else.

Eating is grotesque. To be fueled by consumption, to feast and fuse chemicals with his cells, to do it in the presence of someone else—That, he thinks, is what must be savored. The trust. The companionship. The love. The grotesqueness is what gives eating its divine sensation, its incomparable significance.

To be grotesque together. To survive together. To love together—is that not perfect?

Before that time, Sunday had thought that the act of eating in itself was imperfect. The grotesqueness was appalling, nauseating, even—he didn’t want to eat in front of anyone that wasn’t his sister, the only person who he would allow to witness his act of survival, his insatiable ingestion.

But there you were—eating. Surviving. Loving. You were chewing, and Sunday could hear the crunch of the carrots, the pop of the grapes. And you were drinking water, your lips against the glass, satiated. And, and—and not once did he think you were grotesque, and not once did he perceive the notion of the imperfect. 

You were as you are. Frivolous, disorderly, imperfect—and somehow, Sunday thinks that you might have been sculpted by an Aeon, that you might have been kissed with life rather than conceived by it, that you might have been tenderly adored before you were graced in front of him. Tangible, divine. 

He wanted to savor that. The moment, the grotesqueness, the divine sensation; but Sunday was, is, greedy. At the time, he was afraid to even utter the thought. Now, he doesn’t mind. What he wanted to savor most of all was you, not just the divine sensation, but rather, the enormity of the divine, the colossal significance—you. 

You. 

It was an inconceivable notion to him, really. 

Because when he first met you, he was stunned, not necessarily because you weren’t there for his great Penacony downfall, but rather, because your entire being emanated disorder. 

Your clothes were wrinkled, your head struggling to remain upright as fell forward on multiple occasions, sleeping while standing. It looked as if you were teleported from your bed to the lobby, hardly conscious as you mumbled a couple of incoherent responses whenever you were addressed.

Sunday thought you to be frivolous. 

And yet, there he was, sitting across from you in one of the seats of the Party Car. Enamored by the divine, the disorder. Your words were muffled by the food in your mouth, your chopsticks clanging loudly against the bowl, your mannerisms defying every bit of etiquette he had ever learned. 

And yet, there he was, staring. And yet, there he was, not once sparing his food a glance—how could he afford to look at anything else, when you were right there? Divine? Perfectly imperfect?

“Sunday?” a voice calls, interrupting his prolonged stupor. Sunday cranes his head over his shoulder, bewildered, wondering when he started standing here, staring mindlessly out the windows of the Express Car without a single star entering his eyes, the windows to his soul. 

(There is no room in his soul for anything but you. No star, no universe, no limitless expanse—for you have owned the entirety of it, disorder.)

When did this begin? Sunday wonders, unable to contain the stutter of his wings when his lemon eyes behold your existence. When did the disorder become so palpable? His gaze trails over your shirt, ruffled; your shoelaces, untied; the popsicle in your hand, melting. 

Before he had met you, Sunday would have contained his smile. It wouldn’t be courteous to laugh at someone, especially when they were frivolous, especially when Sunday disliked frivolous people. 

But here you are, disorderly, tangible, frivolous—and here Sunday is, smiling. Wholly. With the crinkle of those lemon eyes, with the upturn of his lips, fervent and wild and free and oh, so imperfect. So lovely, so divine. 

After he met you, Sunday thinks—maybe not consciously, or fully yet—that imperfections aren’t too bad after all. Maybe imperfections can coexist with his decorum. Maybe imperfections can be a part of his paradise, of his simple, yet unfathomably complex dream. 

A world where no one must weep, a world where no one must feel sorrow. A world where there is nothing but dreams and hope and flight and, and—and you. Disorder. Divine.

“[Name],” he greets, his courteous tone not matching his amused smile, “have you perhaps noticed something?” 

You blink owlishly, scrutinizing his form. “Uh, did you get a haircut?” 

His wings twitch. 

“I’m afraid not,” he says, unable to contain the chuckle which escapes his lips; maintaining a semblance of decorum, Sunday points in the direction of your hand. Half of your popsicle has fallen to the floor, its red color staining the ground like some sort of cartoonish crime scene.

“Oh, shit—! We need a mop!” 

Sunday crosses his arms, tilting his head to the side as he observes your panic in real time, offering you nothing but the gentlest of smiles, and the entirety of his soul. 

It’s yours. Like how the sun’s warmth graces the world, you saturate his soul, filling every crevice, illuminating the darkness, warding away the cold—But this, Sunday thinks, isn’t enough. He needs more. Because the sun’s light is intangible, because his fingers phase through its rays. 

Sunday jumps—his wings, sealed by wax, fueled by fervor—and he soars. Towards the sun. Towards the warmth, towards his very own soul. 

This must be what paradise is like: being yours.