#where I can't fucking ignore how little people fucking care about my art
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Why the fuck doesn't my art get any fucking attention what is wrong with my art that it's not worth sharing why why why why why
#I'm freaking the fuck out I'm trying not to obsess over numbers but it's getting to a point#where I can't fucking ignore how little people fucking care about my art#I'm sick of seeing other people in the same communities getting hundreds of notes and I'm averaging three#on every fucking post#gggghhhhhhffhjhdfjydghrrhjjggg#vent#show Tori#(pointing at all my followers who don't give a shit about my art) my therapist is gonna hear about this#this is so entitled and makes me sound like such a bitch I'm sorry
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headcanons behind fic: Chay's allowance and KimChay zero baht dates mentioned in long & short
Kim chokes trying not to laugh. “Seriously Angel?” Chay looks at him, lips pulled into a pouty moue like what? “You only take me out on zero baht dates, but you’ll pay people to draw us as cats?” Chay sniffs primly. “I only use my allowance for education and fine art,” he says, haughty.
Korn giving Porsche and Chay a large allowance comes up in a lot of my fics I think, because I see him giving all of his sons and his wards a large allowance. And for once, it's not actually a part of his usual manipulation and control tactics.
(Well. It's not not about manipulation and control, because everything Korn does involves manipulation and control. Korn absolutely monitors their accounts and purchases, not to mention he's absolutely the sort of person to always have a mental ledger of favors given and owed for everyone, especially family.)
However, he doesn't need to control any of the boys' finances to have control over them and he's so present over all of them that giving them access to their own money (vs having them request it from him directly) doesn't give him any more advantage over them or could even run counter to it.
No, I see Korn giving all the boys a hefty allowance as a personal push back against the ghost of his father.
We don't know anything about grandpa Theerapanyakul beyond the fact that Gun invoked his name while yelling at Korn and the mere comparison of them rattled Korn more than the literal gun war happening in his own home. Of all the terrible fathers in this series, the grandpa takes the cake apparently!
Alongside Korn's deep-seated control issues, he also has this weird...thing where he really, really wants to be seen as a caretaker and good provider. He never outright denies his sons and is seemingly very supportive of them-- Khun was allowed to fall back and be taken care of, Kim was allowed to live separately to become a musician, he paid off judges in the name of Kinn's childhood dream, later he supports Kinn and Porsche's relationship-- and the whole fucked thing with Nampheung and the narrative he's constructed around him taking care of her. Even Korn's relationship with Gun is a little bit weird given how much he talks about competition. Like, he desperately wants to be seen as a good provider and caretaker, he just also can't stop being Korn and has that stupid-ass metaphor with the knife and the apple. It's a very crunchy contradiction.
Anyways, Korn's issues aside, I see Korn giving his sons and later wards personal allowances as a part of his personal image of himself as a good provider.
And Porsche and Chay hate it.
(Porsche reminds Chay they're very grateful. Chay mutters where was this help when Porsche took out an informal loan too young. Porsche hisses and whips his head around for any walls that are listening.)
Chay mostly just tries to ignore the supposed pile of money apparently just...sitting there, for him, and spend no differently than how he usually would (it doesn't feel real, digital money is never real to him). However, after so many years of Porsche sacrificing to save money for his needs and future, Chay can't bring himself to ignore the account completely when it comes to things like school or food. He never actually looks at his account, he mostly just squeezes his eyes shut whenever he uses his card for essentials and waits for the system to deny him, except it never does. That does not make Chay feel any better about the situation.
The only time Chay's close to breaking his "no treats" stance is shortly after he and Kim get together. Chay wants so badly to treat Kim to something really special, but. Money. He frets. He makes a pros and cons list. He paces. He has an entire argument with himself in the mirror. He angsts. He takes one look at Kim's happy face over a candlelight dinner and decides fuck it, that's a guy he's going to spoil to the moon and back, stupid blood money allowance be damned.
Except, as established, Chay's never looked at his actual account, so he goes to Cash the accountant to see what his options are for spoiling dates. Like, he's been paying his tuition and the card always goes through at the grocer or noodle house, and Korn does keep telling him his school allowance includes some extra spending money, but Chay wants to spoil Kim. A band they like will be on tour in Bangkok around Kim's birthday, Chay's gunning for special VIP tickets and some extra money for merch and dinner. Surely stupid rich mafia has plenty of money to spare for that.
Chay: would I, uh, be able to get a little extra money? tickets are 3000 but they're for a really special occasion and-
Cash, thinking about Kinn's 3000 dollar helicopter tickets: I don't care, let me just pull up your account details
Chay: thank you so much 🥺
Then Cash turns his screen around to ask Chay how much money he needs and. That is. A lot of money. So many digits. The decimal certainly in the wrong spot. Then Chay looks to the top of the corner and nearly screams because that's his name on the account, what the fuck?
Cash: Khun Korn said to have enough money to cover your tuition
Chay: [does not point out the initial balance was 3x his four year tuition]
Chay...leaves. He thinks. He doesn't know how he got from Cash's office to his room but his next stop is his bed to scream into his pillow until his throat hurts. Fucking rich people.
In protest, Chay takes Kim out the next evening on a zero baht date. They walk along whatever part of the river's nearest to their university to watch the sunset, have to jump a fence and duck two railings to even find a private sitting space away from any other river goers. The view's passable at best, at least free of most industry stuff thanks to the proximity to school but hardly the most inspiring. Chay spreads out his flannel for them to sit on, and feeds Kim dry packet ramen and stale shrimp chips he got free from a university event. He didn't even buy a drink, they survive off a mostly full bottle of grape soda Chay stole off a friend.
(It's a magical evening for Kim, obviously. Ferreting out little hidden spaces hand-in-hand with Chay, enjoying the nighttime air curled together, eating terrible cheap food that somehow tastes good? This is DOING things to him. He will be bringing a guitar and minimum two water bottles with him next time tho.)
#kinnporsche#kimchay#fic: gone fishing#fic headcanons#this almost counts as fic lmao#anyways kimchay zero baht dates my BELOVED let chay open kim's eyes to a whole new world his rich kid ass never knew existed#kim: u know its okay to spend papa's money right?#chay: don't be silly p'kim electronic money isn't real
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Hey people I am one of the trolls who stir some shit up and no not the one who sends death threats or stuff but the one who stirs shit up,
ABOUT ME
Interestingly opposite to popular belief i actually do have a life, a husband and 3 girls who are teens now, i started working again 8 years ago after my youngest started 5th grade and yeah i live a cozy homey life but sometimes i just find stirring shit up for no reason at all so amusing & interesting, like irl no one could guess it would be me, my kids teachers praises me for being a god mom and supporting not just my girls but donating and helping her friends who need it, my girls love me and i love them too, i do don't drink or anything i work, spend time with my friends/children/ hubby and that's about it,
WHY I DO IT
But since last year I posted a post where unintentionally people got heated and the arguments got passionate, and I love watching it unfold and sometimes I can't help but post some stuff on other's tags/anons to stir shit up, i am guilty but sometimes i can't help it,
HOW I DO IT
Takes two minutes to make a new ID with an email which doesn't exist.
HONEST OPINION
It so funny how down bad you are for your ships and honestly a little pathetic as well, like i spent some time on both sides of the shipping fandom and it's so pathetic watching you guys fight tooth and nail to prove your imaginary friends will make it in the book and the other side are disgusting rats with no reading comprehension, especially elriels, like sometimes i make stuff up and send them anons that gwynriels said this or that and they get so triggered like most of the time they won't even fact check, with gwynriels i think they are more pathetic because they generally keep their pro tags clean and pretend to not care but you can tell that they hate elriels to death but will pretend otherwise like to me being a two faced cunt is more pathetic,
Like i can't decide which side is worse because elriel on one side makes it clear that they stalk the other tags and openly posts stuff from others tags on their tags, like i have seen too many "tell me why i saw this EL/GA theory/art?" and care about GA/EL opinions too much, they will fight to death to prove how the other side is crack ship, idiots to see any sort of romance in two characters which they can't see, will follow and support elriel blindly and many more but i don't like typing anymore,
Proof in the comments
WHY GWYNRIELS ARE PIECE OF SHITS
They romanticize and choose the weirdest hill to stand on, like they will die defending tamlin X nyx and tamlin X anyone, they hate the main characters to death why the fuck are you still reading the books and sitting here if you hate the main people so much?
They will romanticize the wierdest shits "GA having sex where most women feel comfortable after being raped, Gwyn felt the bond and the love after she was actively raped,
As a survivor myself i think these people need to be more mindful and intelligent,
And the whole elain gate thing, dude who posted tamlain? like they whine for no reason at all,
Cry bout minor stuff and are the reason for the threats trolling like if they kept quite and ignored the trolling would've stopped,
Hate elriel and also think they are idiots for not seeing sparks and glows but will act like a two faced cunt and pretend they don't
Proof in comments:
So really both sides are pathetic and i am too but honestly life is getting too busy so maybe i won't be here,
And i wanted to say this before i left,
You guys are the real ones who need a life and i need a psychopath assessment, i'll get it done soon or go to therapy but for now BYE,
Hope you all love and hope you guys understand that you are all the same people
#elriel#elucien#feysand#gwynriel#nessian#pro elriel#pro elain#pro elucien#pro eris vanserra#pro gwynriel#pro gwyneth berdara#pro vassien#pro vassa#pro nessian#pro feysand#pro feyre#pro feylin#pro nesta
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Can't believe 911 ABC is what finally got me to post on here, but whatever ... also working on my mental health BUT WHATEVER
I love how 911 plays with ghosts and spirits and superstitions, I think it's fun! Especially being someone who is pretty spiritual.
I also think it's really funny how much Eddie just doesn't believe in it. Being Mexican myself it seeps into your daily life without even knowing ya know. Someone in your family either visits or is a curandera, sobadora, psychic (to a certain extent)
I digress. I just wanted to get a fic idea out there! That maybe I'll write maybe I won't 🤷🏻
It starts off as normal day, ya know. They get a call that doesn't seem as crazy as it turns out it will become. A small fire in a design firm. They were testing out some oil paints for a specific brand. They didn't clean/dispose of the rags correctly they ignight. Things get pretty big bc the paint is also there and other art supplies that are flammable (as many thinning agents that are used for oils are), but almost everyone is accounted for in the evacuation and they're doing the final rounds looking for people as they're slowly controlling the fire.
Buck, bc it's usually Buck, finds the last person they're looking for, and the person runs towards him, and he runs to them as the room is half engulfed in flames. And in true 911 fashion, something explodes, things collapse and Buck as much as he tries to shield the person, the person under him still gets gravely injured and it's gonna take a while before they get dug out.
They talk for a bit, they do that half-hearted laugh where anyone who's been in a shit situation does, and the person is slowly slowing down. For whatever it's worth, in a different life, they could've been friends. The person tells Buck this much, you can hear Buck crumble.
They've been face to face this whole time, Buck isn't holding the debri up, but there isn't much room to move off anyway. The person has a nice smile and below the smell of soot and fire they smell like clean linens and fresh air.
It's not looking good.
The person breaks, confesses that they're scared and everything hurts and they don't straight bawl but they are crying. They also apologize to Buck they hope they don't haunt him. They tell him thank you, for talking with them, for being so kind and calm, for holding onto hope that the person never had to begin with, it made the waiting bareable. They say to Buck that they hope he doesn't feel guilt, that it's ok even if they are scared and want to live bc he made this all bearable.
They ask if he could hug them, that they always looked for someone to hug them when they were scared. And Buck does obviously. He's careful and gentle but he allows him self to lean on the person, he feels them go slack. He's crying.
They dont die but they fall into a coma. And you get to see the ghost of the person follow Buck and his team around.they realize they can manipulate little things, let themselves be known.
And Buck does notice and he's like wtf ... WTF.... he tells Eddie. Eddie laughs him off but the rest of the crew play along bc if anything Hen and Chim can fuck with him. That is until Jee start talking about imaginary friends and Hen keeps losing thing only for them to reappear Ina random place, completely impossible.
So they accept the ghost, except Eddie, weird things are happening to him but he ignores them. Everyone talks and hangs out with the ghost they have fun and play pranks and yadda yadda. Eddie lives in denial for a bit.
And then they get another call. And then it's Eddie that goes down. And then it's Eddie's heart that stops. And then it's Eddie looking down at his body and the ghost is next to him and ... hey he recognizes them. And they're like yeah, I've just been keeping an eye on Buck, and the rest of my family. Somethings been telling me to wait, idk for what but I know realize that it was for you. Eddie is sure he's crazy now, bc how and what??
They laugh bc there are no thoughts, only truth in the space they currently inhabit. It isn't your time yet, they say. They grab Eddie's hand and lead him back to his body. He's crashing, and then he panics and asks how to go back, and the person responds that it has to be the right time. That the physical body and spiritual body need to balance. That the drugs and life-saving actions need to take effect, and he needs to feel the tug back. Eddie is guided back into his body but before he goes the person hugs him hard and says give Buck one of these for me.
Some other stuff happens, the person returns to their body too and eventually goes to visit both Buck and Eddie. They both remember what happen, and the person remembers all their pranks too. The team is floored and so is the person but maybe the 118 make a new friend and maybe they all believe in something deeper too.
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CW: Nazism, TribeTwelve, swear words, (vent??)
Spoilers for EMH, Canyouseethewords blog, TribeTwelve and Sebastian's Journal.
Hi, it's me again. No shit. So. It's been like a month since the whole drama unfolded and I haven't stopped thinking about it since. I know things have quieted down lately, and like many others, I wish we could all move on and forget this ever happened. However, I can't simply recover from it, mainly because I feel the posts about me continue to spread on this platform, radiating the negativity and false info about me to this day. This drama has been devouring me for a long time now, and I've decided to make another post. I gotta admit I haven't been 100% honest in my previous post, it was more of my attempt to back off, cry over it and avoid this drama. But I'm not doing that again. I'm done pretending and I'm tired of being nice and tolerating others when they're completely misguided. I'm fucking angry. That's why I decided to make one more post about this and I have so many things to say. This is not another apology post, think of it as a vent post and recap explanation of everything where I'll be brutally honest.
Also, if anyone of you is a Nazi supporter, get the fuck out. I do not welcome you here.
First of all, I do not understand why my efforts have been ignored. I did everything that was asked of me. I acknowledged my so-called ''mistakes'', I owned up to them, deleted the posts, apologized, explained my intentions, and you decide to just fucking ignore it?? What do you want from me then, huh? I'm not the ignorant here, you are fucking ignorants. Made me realize I actually haven't done anything wrong. Made me wonder if I should've even deleted those posts, I put a lot of effort into them, and some people actually liked them. It's not my fault some of you are sensitive and brainwashed by censorship culture and you can't accept or understand a canon-accurate depiction of characters. You think I've been sweeping something under the rug? No. In fact, it's the opposite. You've been sweeping this whole shit under the rug by dismissing me as a Nazi supporter, just because I drew something that was considered canon for so many years. I've done nothing wrong, I've been honest about my art the entire time. I draw what I enjoy and what is accurate to the lore. I love history and the Slenderverse, and I draw canon-accurate content, yet you get mad over it. It's so ridiculous. If this post can't open your fucking eyes, I don't know what else will, and frankly I don't care anymore. I'm done with this shit. I've acted like the adult I am, and took responsibility. However I'm not going to point any fingers or dismiss anyone specifically, because I am not like this.
And to everyone: If you don't like something, just ignore it. But if it really seems problematic and malicious, why not contact the person directly and talk it out, or find ways to know their true intentions instead of making hundreds of hate-posts about them like some pissy children. This is such a toxic behavior.
About the whole Nazi stuff:
Don't get me wrong. Nazism is a sensitive topic, I understand that. But I think being offended by it right now, in the 21st century, is just so ridiculous to me. I understand it can get very annoying tho. They talk about WW2 and the Austrian painter on TV non-stop. But being offended by some art? Like, are you serious. Do you realize Nazi shit has been in so many fanfiction, stories and literature for so many years, and you have no reason to get offended by it? The Nazi concept has been used in so many media, whether just for a joke or a serious plot point. South Park, Family Guy, Indiana Jones, Marvel Universe, X-Men, The Boys, and God knows what else.. Would you get offended by a fanart of cute little fat boy Eric Cartman? Of course not. But I can easily say: ''He's a Nazi! You drew a cute fanart of him! You're a Nazi supporter!'' That's you. That's how you sound. Do you see how ridiculous that is? There are thousands of people shipping him with Kyle Broflovski, oh but he's a Jew, and they hate each other in the show. Yet there are artists who make ship art of them. Does anyone complain? At the end of the day, they're just fictional characters, and I rather ignore it even if it kinda annoys me. Btw, South Park is just an example of this issue, I'm not targeting anyone or anything specifically here.
The Brandit post:
I really need to go back and add something to that post of HABIT saying ''LET'S FUCK AND PISS OFF OUR ANCESTORS.'' which creeped Firebrand out (honest reaction). That quote seemed really harsh, I know. Was it bad humor? Yeah.. But do I regret drawing this? At this point, I must say no. I did not stutter. As I said, I will be brutally honest from now on. Do you think HABIT wouldn't say that? Do you think he wouldn't say something sexual to a Jewish person, or frankly to anyone really? Yes, he would!! It's in his nature, he's fucked up. Are we trynna ignore the fucking scene of HABIT pulling the jerk off gesture at Noah?? Did we all not see the same thing?? He is like this. He makes fun of him while adding Christmas decorated borders on a letter for him. He's aware Noah is Jewish, yet he pulls a sexual gesture at him. Don't try to deny this one.
About the symbols... From what I've just said, I drew the little symbols there next to them (Star of David and Hakenkreuz) because I wanted people to see and realize the fact that these two guys are a Jew and a (former) Nazi, which people have been sweeping under the rug, not me. Also, if anyone remembers the post I made, I believe I wrote ''I should have put Christmas borders there as well/jk.'' under it or something like that. I removed it later on because people didn't seem to get it. It was obviously a reference to Severance. Everything I draw is a fucking reference. That being said, this post was made for awareness, not romanticization, and I do not ship them, neither romantically nor platonically, I just really like drawing them together, because of their iconic trope, canon interactions, mutual respect and shared spite for Slenderman, and the fact that HABIT helped Noah many times. That's it. Also, I wouldn't ship HABIT with anyone romantically. That is just wrong in so many levels.
Canyouseethewords blog and Sebastian's Journal:
If you didn't grasp the point of the Josef Mengele post either, go read Canyouseethewords blog here on Tumblr. It's part of the EMH lore. Basically, this blog belonged to Evan's girlfriend Stephanie, but HABIT takes over the blog later on and makes various posts about infamous real serial killers, such as Ed Gein, Jack the Ripper, and even the Nazi doctor, Josef Mengele. Whether HABIT wanted to imply that he's possessed those various people, that part of lore remains silent. At some point, I believed he's possessed those various people, so I wanted to to draw one of them, and I chose to draw Josef simply because I liked the idea of the connection with him and The Event from T12. That's it. And if that weren't the case that he's possessed any of those people, which would be rather a big relief, he's still possessed a different Nazi character in T12, which has been retconned. A character that no one really seems to know of, which is understandable. I get that some people don't want to analyze and support T12 anymore after what Adam did. In all honesty, I think sometimes it's best to separate the creator from the creation. I hate Adam, but I love T12. Anyway, in the story of Sebastian's Journal is a guy named Sergeant Heine who is (or was supposed to be) possessed by HABIT at some point. It implies to Severance where HABIT said he's been working with a group of Nazis on a particular project, including Sebastian. However, that connection has been retconned.
The HABIT/Nazi lore shit, people keep complaining and pissing about for no reason:
Listen, it was part of the lore for so many years that it's difficult to simply ignore it now. As someone who's been part of the Slenderverse fandom for years, going back, I just cannot think of it as a non-canon at this point. And I've already said the point of HABIT's character, and you all should know this by now. However I'll clarify it again anyways. The point is that he's an abomination of all the horrific actions humanity has committed, including atrocities of Nazism. He's done so many bad shit, as if eating a baby on screen wasn't enough, yet, of all the things he's done, people get mad over him being a former Nazi?? Like are you kidding me.. It's so ridiculous and hypocritical.
However... When I think about it, maybe HABIT was never even a Nazi, I mean- Working with them is one thing. He probably doesn't even give a single fuck about some ideology bullshit. He likely participated in the Nazi party purely for the sake of killing people. He wouldn't care less if his victims were Jews, Romani, or anyone else, he simply enjoys killing people for the sake of torture. Heck, he doesn't even remember the name of the party he was in. In Severance, he stuttered when trying to say ''Nazis'', which, in my opinion, was funny as hell. But that one is just an idea of his character.
Anyway. Even if HABIT wasn't a former Nazi at all, would it change anything? Absolutely not. He would still be the same horrible piece of shit he is. And sorry not sorry, but he was never meant to be a likable character. As a well-written antagonist, yes. But as a person? Hell no, so far from it. There is literally no reason for people to get mad over him being a former Nazi, and if you are, it's hypocritical of you, considering everything else he's done.
I must say one more thing, and it's the only thing I'm truly sorry for is that I didn't put content warnings and explanations on those posts. I made people angry unnecessarily for my impulsive actions.
I think that's all. Perhaps I've learned something by the end of the day, and I hope that at least some of you who are reading this, have learned something as well. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this (if you have), I appreciate it so much. See you on the flipside.
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Haven't heard from you in a while, hope you're doing well! <3
Hey, nonnie - I'm doing alright. Personal ramble below the cut. Skip if you're just here for fanfic reading and don't care about my silly little melodrama.
Not going to go into too much detail, but I've been really feeling the depression lately. For context, I have clinical depression and take a really high dose of antidepressants, which fuck with other aspects of my life (i.e. weight and lack of sleep). Medical consensus is that I'll need medication for the rest of my life as my brain does not perform the appropriate mood-regulating functions (I'm not super sure what the specifics of this are). I've struggled with low feeling, demotivation, SI/SH etc. for nearly nine years now. I've slipped into a bit of an episode lately - not necessarily related to being online but Tumblr is a part of it - but I'm trying to work my way out of it by picking up some new-old hobbies, such as crochet, and doing things that I like and that don't stress me. I'm safe and don't have the opportunity to action any of my feelings, so please don't worry about me!
Unfortunately, Tumblr has been a source of stress for me since I've come on here. I've made some downright terrible choices in friends, in behaviour, in the amount of energy I commit to this space, and the only one who can really break this cycle is me. This site hosts a really wide range of personalities, and I just... feel like I've encountered some of the absolute worst among all of that, and it's done me absolutely no favours when it comes to making good choices. We all say that as adults, we should know better, but there's no sudden switch that flips, you know? We spend our whole lives making mistakes and learning from them. Adulthood isn't the abrupt entry into moral infallibility, and that's been something I've had to address and work through when it comes to my own failings.
To be perfectly honest, Tumblr isn't a supportive place. Or the people aren't. I don't really know which. To clarify, I do generally speak of the community of artists and writers in this, not the people here who just want to enjoy art or read someone's fanfic. I suppose there's a certain level of - I don't know - self-centredness? - when it comes to creating an online presence and sharing one's own creations on the internet. That mentality, I think, bleeds over into feelings of entitlement in creative communities. Entitlement to other people's time, to people's attention, to people's promotion, and when one doesn't get that, the problems start: (best to worst =) transactional interaction, badmouthing, hate anons, public bashing, and the list goes on. I've definitely been someone who has been upset by people's lack of interaction. I've responded with "oh, I'm not reblogging until they reblog mine" more than once. We all know that I've been involved with badmouthing and publicly bashing others. I continue to be very ashamed of this, and I am honest with myself about what I've done and how I got there in my journey working through my problems and making meaningful change in my life.
Anyway, point is - I'm trying to divorce myself from the entitlement, and I think to do that I need to divorce myself from the notion that we exist as a community. I've put far too much effort into that idea, and it's gotten me absolutely nowhere. There are more people who dislike me than not. Most just straight-up ignore me. I deserve it, sure, but (or maybe and) I have no intention of continuing to engage in a space that either doesn't exist or where I'm not wanted. I've felt anxious and upset at the mere thought of going on Tumblr the past few months. It hasn't been bringing me joy anymore, and that was the whole point of it. There's so much bad blood associated with being on here, but I love writing. I love this show. I can't give up something that makes me so happy in every respect other than this one site.
So I've taken some time off, reassessed the way I'm intending to use this space, and I've essentially decided that I started it for me so I'm going to do it for me. I'm going to interact with who I want and post what I want and damn absolutely everyone who tries to police me (of which there has been A LOT - apparently I have a "responsibility" to support others which I now know is actually code for "I'm jealous that you're getting any kind of attention online, so instead of addressing my issue with this, I'm going to vaguepost about/anon/DM you to try and guilt you into giving my work attention so that maybe it'll transfer to me").
For the casual peruser, no change at all. But I'm done giving my effort to the idea of 'community'. It doesn't exist, or I don't belong. I am going to do what makes me happy now, and only what makes me happy. That's the whole point. I'm sick of focusing on negatives. I'm sick of posting about them, to be honest. I think this mindset will do me good.
If you've gotten this far, I hope that it's okay that I've decided this. I'm feeling positive about it!
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Batfamily Secret Santa
With the holidays coming up here's my headcanon for what each of the batfamily members would get each other if they were doing a secret Santa. (And yes, I know Bruce is canonically Jewish, but I believe either Tim or Dick are some denomination of Christian so I'd imagine they have a mixed holiday celebration at the manor)
Bruce (got Stephanie)
Ok so Bruce is super generous on a good day and I can't imagine Steph wouldn't be dropping hints since Thanksgiving, so he'd probably give her everything she asked for plus a new movie Wayne manor doesn't have, so after the celebration they could watch it together as a one-on-one bonding thing since he's pretty big on quality time in some versions.
Dick (got Bruce)
Bruce really doesn't expect anything for the holidays which is perfect because I have this headcanon that Dick is actually really bad with giving gifts. Someone bullied your little sister? Not on his watch. Life advice? He'll pull from his past experiences to tell you what not to do. Emotional support? Bro he's there. But birthday/anniversary/holiday gifts? Expect a mug with Snoopy's face because you both watched Charlie Brown together once. In July. He's just that kind of gift giver. So I'm thinking Dick would get Bruce a dinosaur themed 1,000 piece puzzle because Bruce likes dinosaurs and he likes puzzles so boom! Match made in heaven, ya boi is a genius. 😎
Barbara (got Jason)
Babs is a pretty practical person so her secret Santa to Jason probably consisted of a gift bag with manly smelling body wash, a gift card to Barnes & Noble, and a CD mixtape of Jason's Spotify favorites so he can pop it into a car and listen to it during long car rides.
Duke (got Damian)
So Duke is a pretty creative person when he's passionate about a project and his ideas are definitely one of a kind, but I think for some time he would really struggle with coming up with a secret Santa for Damian because he isn't all that close with Robin. He knew Damian appreciated weapons but he's also the type of person to not want Damian to think that weapons are all he is by getting him one. Presents for Damian's pets are off the table since Damian spoils them on every day of the year, so Duke would probably gift Damian something for the child he is, since Damian never had a childhood. Maybe a telescope so Damian could look at the stars with his family on clear nights. Just like what Duke's mom gave him as a boy for the holidays one year.
Cass (got Dick)
Cass didn't receive material gifts for most of her life so she probably enlisted Alfred's help. Given that the butler knows Dick pretty well, they decided to give him a gift basket with blue ribbon that had a T-shirt of his favorite band, some flash fuzzy socks (Wally would approve), and his favorite holiday candy. Dick is really more of a quality time kind of person if you want to make him to feel special, so it didn't need to be elaborate anyway.
Jason (got Cass)
I don't care how much people try to make Jason into a sexist, ignorant-to-the-fine-arts kind of person. Jason doesn't give a fuck about gender stereotypes and he loves learning, especially about classical things like literature or fine arts. For his secret Santa to Cass he got them both tickets for a weekend trip to Russia to see a ballet in person in one of the grandest cities in Russia. Cass has obviously been to many places across the world, but it was always for a mission and nothing more. For the holidays, Jason gifted her two days where they could travel and explore the culture, living like locals or being those stereotypical tourists just for shits and giggles. Just a few days without work to relax and live happy lives as regular people. When Cass got her gift Jason pulled her aside afterwards to explain it, so she wouldn't cry in front of everyone. And she did cry. Just a little. So did Jason.
Tim (got Duke)
Tim wouldn't think too hard about Duke's gift since he knows the people Duke hangs out with. Or could find them. Getting Duke a gift was as simple as casually running into Duke's friends and asking them about what Duke likes. Not that he or Duke's friends ever mentioned this to Signal, so when he opened his secret Santa and found some hyper-specific things amongst some more generic gifts, he began to wonder just how much Tim knew about his life.
Stephanie (got Babs)
Steph is absolutely the type of person to get someone for Christmas something they want themselves. So a lot of the gifts Bruce gave her look similar to what Babs got from Steph. Not that she means anything by it, but in her mind if it's worth wanting, someone else close to her probably wants it too. And Babs doesn't mind. She already bought herself a new desk light after the old one got knocked down one too many times, so it doesn't matter if she has a cute keychain to go on it.
Damian (got Tim)
Regardless of his age I think a younger sibling will always be a younger sibling. Damian would probably give Tim a large fancy gift bag filled with tissue paper... and nothing else. He'd do it just to see Tim's reaction to rifling through the bag for several moments to come up empty. Then, when Tim admits defeat, Damian would hand over a gift he asked Jon to pick up for Connor, nicely wrapped with Tim's forged signature and everything. He wasn't about to get Tim a gift but it's okay because he knew Tim would've somehow forgotten to get his boyfriend a holiday gift anyway. (And he did)
#and they all lived happily ever after#JK they live in Gotham#dc batman#batfamily headcanons#batfamily shenanigans#alfred pennyworth#bruce wayne#batman#batman comics#robin#dick grayson#nightwing#barbara gordon#oracle dc#batgirl cassandra cain#Batgirl#bat girl#cassandra cain#stephanie brown#robin the orphan#jason todd#red hood#signal dc#duke thomas#wayne family adventures#superman#supersons#damian wayne#damian al ghul#cassandra wayne
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U know especially for someone who hasn't consumed JJK in awhile, that's really accurate. I'd really love more details if u want but not only is that super accurate but man what a fucking fun character that would be. Idk even know who I'd want to see them interact with the most because I want to see them interact with everybody. The stuff like doing insane things to win arguments and caring so much about how they look is such a perfect way to combine their traits too
Little rushed comic I thought I could do of their interaction with Mr. Stanford Pines himself!
Further explaination under the cut :]
Some other fun things I thought of regarding Nopher that aren't specifically related to Ford/anyone:
Nopher (which I'll say is the fusion name), definitely will have a hard time getting used to the body first. If you think about it, it's just Sukuna & Itadori in Season 1 (which btw, IF my art block doesn't attack me, i MIGHT draw an interaction btwn them). Simply not pleasant LMAO. Ford doesn't really know what to do with it because Nopher isn't much of a threat for the moment. Another thing to note is that Nopher kinda just showed up to to Ford's doorstep (thanks Bill) and while Ford DOES immediately recognize Bill in Nopher, he does not recognize the physical body he inhabits. Ford doesn't know Nobara, and Nobara doesn't know Ford. Only connection they really have with each other is Bill. I feel like Ford would be VERY intrigued by how Nobara, who likely doesn't have much knowledge on Bill, is able to withstand brief periods of possession per say? I'd like to think that although Ford really doesn't want to do anything with Cipher At All, he can't really ignore the fact that he got a "random" person involved. Obviously Nopher's capable of pretty much the entire arsenal that Nobara & Bill have (except Bill's powers might be a teensy bit limited but they don't know that).
Don't ask me where they get the money from but they do enjoy clothes shopping/shopping in general for the trendy stuff. One of the very few things they "enjoy"/have in common.
Nobara within the mindspace once in awhile will get excited to see the things they have around Oregon, same with Bill when they meet the JJK gang in Tokyo.
Bill ABSOLUTELY gets really confused over the idea of being able to see Curses. The creatures released during Weirdmageddon couldn't leave the confinements of the town, so it's a shocker for Bill to find that there are actually other worldly beings residing in a place outside of Gravity Falls. Freely too! (If they aren't killed)
On the contrary though, Nobara will always see the weird stuff happening in Gravity Falls as a threat. She's been trained that way to never let her guard down and she's BRUTAL with it. I think during these times, Nopher's general "crazy" really starts to come out.
Regarding the past 2 bullet points, it's a just whole new struggle for Nopher: Nobara needs to continue protecting people from Curses that normal people can't even see, whereas Bill always wants to try and make allies with them. It's tough.
That's probably all I'm gonna come up with for now!! I do have a semi-large project I'd like to get started on & finish before the end of the week so story-building Nopher may not be prioritized for now. I do hope you enjoyed my ramble though, anon!
#gravity falls#jujutsu kaisen#oc#oc art#<- this is practically an oc of mine now... just not one thats fully developed at all LMAO#pigkiku#can we also disregard the fact how much “detail” i put in the first 2 panels like cmon it wasnt my intention to make ford look THAT good LO#btw anon if you do read these tags i need you to know that my OC making brain is covered in spider webs and dust#its been such a long time since ive ever attempted to even develop a backstory for an originally made character cuz all i do is design then#move on LMAO im tellin you now i got too many ocs with nice designs but almost NO story behind them#even more so ocs that are related to fandoms like Nopher might be my first one that's deeply connected to 2 fandoms at that#btw someone PLEASE for the love of god tell me why side profiles are so damn hard#i mean yeah okay i can draw hands. faces. clothes. blah blab but SIDEEESSS is where i draw the line#*ahem* looks like i have smth i need to work on later :]#im gonna kiss myself goodnight i just realized i put 4 fingers on the 3rd panel okok
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I think I've seen you say you don't openly disclose which drivers you dislike before and I wholeheartedly respect that, do not get me wrong! You seem to be a sweet person on here and (forgive me for assuming) like someone who hates conflict of that kind.
So feel free to not answer this. No bad blood. I won't annoy you. 🧡
I'm just so nosy. You have really toned down the Lance Stroll posting compared to the last months and without trying to be rude, have your feelings towards him changed after the whole 'him hanging with zionists' thing? I couldn't find your opinion on this (again feel free to ignore me) and I'd really like to know, because of my own change of heart towards him.
Thank you and please have a great weekend 🧡
I will try my best to answer this. I am apologising if I ramble beforehand. Just letting out my thoughts on this.
Firstly, yes I have said I'm not here to openly hate the drivers I dislike and do stand by that opinion. I don't gain anything from producing or reblogging brainless shit. However, I have been thinking about *maybe* and this is just a *maybe* even doing a serious tierlist / general opinions post myself, to pin. Not because I feel the need to but because I want to. Not that it's massively important what I think lol.
And even then, I will not be found openly hating for the most part. It's just not what I enjoy doing and yes, Idk if you have somehow analysed me but a big part of that is hating conflicts and thriving for a harmony this whole world will never have.
Now, onto Lance Stroll.
Have I toned down my Lance posting? Yes, I have. Have my thoughts on him changed recently? Yes, they have. Have you missed any thoughts of mine that I shared? No, you have not.
I haven't talked about this, except for one lengthy outburst to my friend. If you see this, hello <3
I have mostly spent my time trying to ignore the elephant in the room. I'm not some saint, yes, we're in the sport of unmorality ... I'm not rolling up that whole conversation but simply put, yes I have become more indifferent and way less positive about him when I had to come to the realisation that, based on his surroundings, it is unbelievably likely he's a zionist.
We have had these conversations in the past but at the beginning of May it became very apparent with all the tags and affiliations and so on. How everyone feels about these things are personal and personally I don't mind seeing some of my dearest friends still posting about him. However, I have come to a point where I can't do that anymore. Even if I'm solely asking the emotional irrational side of myself, I'm moving on from him and at this point in time, regarding everything, I believe this is to be a good thing.
You asked for my feelings, here they are.
I don't know if this is my age speaking but of course this fucking sucks. But this has mostly to do with the lovely fandom space and the amazing fanfics I've had the pleasure to enjoy and less about the man himself that I don't know myself.
What I care about in this little fandom space we got here is; making silly jokes, making friends with this shared interest, admiring fan art, having fun with writing fanfic (although I haven't posted in a while, I still daydream about doing it again), reading fanfic (a BIG part for me) and just having a great time overall.
No fucking clue if I communicated this well, but it is what I had to say to this.
It is most likely that I will simply ignore him for now and only speak of him in context to other people - I do not have hateful feelings towards him (whether that's good or bad, it just IS).
I will follow the wise path of indifference and the only thing I really want, is to not lose any friendships which I'm sure won't happen. Other than that, I think I have said what I wanted.
I hope you're having a great weekend too! I'm currently sitting in a thunderstorm lol how ironic.
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This is literally from book 2.
:: added to indicate telepathy.
Martha Wells making it very clear she thinks that robot slave uprisings is a cringey and embarassing cliche. And with book 7 out now, what do you know, absolutely no signs of this idea being challenged in any way.
Because even though Martha Wells is literally the one who decided to write a story about enslaved robots, she doesn't want to write a story about slaves fighting for their freedom. Because she thinks that's cliche and cringey and bad. Because oppressed people violently fighting for their rights is *Faith mimicking Buffy voice* wrong.
::What do you propose to do?::
[Murderbot the former slave asked the currently enslaved person]
There was a pause. A long one, five seconds. ::We could kill them.:: Well, that was an unusual approach to its dilemma. ::Kill who? Tlacey?:: ::All of them. The humans here.:: I leaned against the wall. If I had been human, I would have rolled my eyes. Though if I had been human, I might have been stupid enough to think it was a good idea. I also wondered if it knew a lot more about me than what little was in the newsburst. Picking up on my reaction, ART said, ::What does it want?:: ::To kill all the humans,:: I answered. I could feel ART metaphorically clutch its function. If there were no humans, there would be no crew to protect and no reason to do research and fill its databases. It said, ::That is irrational.:: ::I know,:: I said, if the humans were dead, who would make the media? It was so outrageous, it sounded like something a human would say.
Sarcasm: Slaves wanting to kill the people enslaving them is "irrational" because then who would make new TV shows? Clearly getting to watch new TV shows is the real priority, here! End sarcasm.
And like, as I keep saying, this would have been fine to do if the point here was that Murderbot Is Not Immune to Propaganda and has just as much work to do dismantling the Pro Slavery Propaganda as everyone else.
But we are now at seven whole fucking books.
And Murderbot still hasn't fucking learned that Hey! Slaves Are People Too Even If They're Not Me!!!!
And even if Murderbot never learned this lesson it'd still be fine because you can in fact have protagonists who are bad people, you can even have protagonists who are horrible people! If only any of the other fucking characters or the narrative cared about freeing slaves!!!
But no!!!! Every other character is just as fine as Murderbot with murdering slaves instead of trying to rescue them! The seventh book has ART, who we're supposed to love, casually rip a slave limb from fucking limb while they're still afuckinglive and we're supposed to think it's badass and not horrific!!!!
Martha Wells just keeps constantly reinforcing the idea that slaves are too dangerous to be given freedom, and at seven whole entire books, I'm done waiting for the other shoe to fall, because it's clearly never going to!
Martha Wells didn't set out to write a story about how slavery is bad and everyone deserves equal rights when she decided to write The Murderbot Diaries, she just read The Imperial Radch series and thought "cool robot!!" and ignored literally everything else!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She can't even be assed to treat her own robot characters like actual people within the setting! She goes around calling Scary Disabled enslaved people "less sentient than hauler bots" even though she's the one who decided to write a setting where robots are supposed to be people!!!! But she literally can't even be bothered to treat them like people!!!!
#slavery apologism#Martha Wells#The Murderbot Diaries#The Murderbot Diaries racism#Martha Wells racism#Martha Wells slavery apologism#Martha Wells ableism#The Murderbot Diaries ableism#ableism#racism#Martha Wells critical#System Collapse#TMBD#Murderbot#SecUnit#Asshole Research Transport
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Soul anon here, stalking your blog
I hard agree with you. I dislike so much of how the fandom treats the LMK characters. I don't understand how the fandom loves the show so much and doesn't seem to be able to grasp the characters at all.
Mk isn't written hardly with respect. He's so often reduced to empty air head adhd silly guy when he does have a lot of serious moments or otherwise when it's shown that he is intuitive, intelligent, and has a lot of good instincts.
Macaque is either constantly character bashed or woobified by the fandom, and so many fucking people in the audience fall for the facade he puts up. Like holy shit it's so bad. He's such an interesting character and a joy to watch and people just...seem like they hate him or love him and there's hardly any room for analysis on his motivations and behavior in a way that makes any sense when given full context.
Wukong is like...so loved by the fandom but ALSO is treated with zero respect somehow? Like they think he can't read? And the whole fandom sometimes feels like he can do no wrong when it's shown that he's still making mistakes but he is learning and growing (still! Even after his journey!) And that's a lot of the point to his character too! He's a silly little guy yes, but he's not a baby that the fandom makes him out to be who never does anything wrong. I don't get how he's so beloved by fandom and yet so many fan depictions are so...bad.
And Mei? Oh my god she has such good characterization in the show and so many good moments and yet I can't think of a comic, character analysis or fic where anyone gets her? She's shown to be strong, compassionate and analytical and yet so many people don't bother to let her be any of those things.
(I could keep going. Red Son. Pigsy. Tang. Etc.)
The fandom is small and there's great fanmade art and fic, but it always feels like so many people will get a couple of characters right and then just. Shit on the rest of the characters they don't like. I think it's partially due to that it's a small fandom and lack of people who can view any media with any level of nuance. All that said, it's why I love your fic so much, it feels like you nailed the monkey boys so well.
ohh yeah. there's a lot of younger people in the fandom (not that that's a bad thing but uh) so they're kind of lacking that critical thinking and life experience. not trying to be mean, but that's. literally how growing up works. and y'know, not being able to see the complexity to characters, thinking things are very black and white, etc. It's very frustrating!
MK will always be a great example of this, because the hints of deeper character he has in the show are just outright ignored for funnies and silly haha's for the fandom to enjoy. And Macaque isn't seen for who he truly is. like MK called him out explicitly in the show, and it's like everyone forgot about that. Like all it took for Macaque to drop his facade was someone looking at him for who he is and understanding him. and saying that...who he is okay.
it's just really sad because. you know it's a writing technique/literary device to put these sprinkles of character in, especially when you're working on a show that runs so short. that means every instance of dialogue matters. it's intentional. if they had more time, they could be more forthcoming with this stuff, but that's why there's a lot of things built into the background, too. they're literally using every trick in the book to tell a story BEHIND the story to make up for the small amount of time they have. and dealing with constraints and mandates. like "there has to be a big bad so we can sell sets with the mechs and weapons each season" and they writers are like "okay let's come up with a seasonal villain and everything. again."
But getting back to it -- yeah, Mei, too, is mischaracterized and it's such a shame. she's SO COOL. I love how out there and bright and funny she is! I love that she's so protective and determined. and she CARES about MK, they are best friends they get into some stupid shit together. i'd love to write their friendship, i wanna do that SO BAD PLEASE.
how the fandom treats wukong is part of what inspired me to write this big long fic in the first place. if they're not grossly misinterpreting something he's said/done, they're diluting him down to his cuteness and sweetness and ignoring everything else. and it SUCKS because I LOVE how the show demonstrates that he's not perfect and still needs to develop. Like he IS NOT a good mentor and is actually terrible LMFAO but he's trying!! he's trying. that's why there's so many sunburst duo moments in my fic because, after season 3, i really just see wukong going "okay, i have to take this seriously. for real this time. I don't like how I've been doing things and I need to do better"
and you know, a lot of the time in fandom, people don't know how to respectfully tackle these subjects? so they just focus on the good and ignore the bad -- much easier to handle the good. but straight up ignoring it isn't the way to go, either. ignoring a character's flaws is ignoring half of the character. take away wukong's flaws and that's not wukong anymore. people don't get that. they see flaws as this purely negative thing when they're essential to making characters be characters.
and there's also this tendency to just. take what one person says and parade it around as fact. that's how we got that "wukong can't read" thing going on. when i first saw that, i was so confused because it went against canon. we've seen him read...in the show...he has a laptop i don't. how did we get here LMFAO
and yeah, it extends to every character. it takes time to get characters right. you really have to like. study them. that's why roleplaying is a good way to like develop those characterization skills, but it only works if you're roleplaying with someone who has a good grasp of the show. or just being able to discern a good interpretation from a bad one. discernment is so pivotal. it's just like how, in film and television, you watch bad shows to learn what NOT to do. same thing here. you look at bad interpretations, you look at good ones. then you decide what's good.
not to say that's not what's happening, because that's how we get variance in interpretations. and you know, some people may not care about characterization and are having fun with their dolls. because that's also what fandom is. and it can be a good thing! but it can also be an aggravating thing.
I actually don't think the fandom is small at all. listen -- i know what a small fandom is. on my main, it's a small fandom, because it's me and 9 other people regularly making content for this pairing. like, every day in LMK land, there are new fics. like there are multiple artists making fanart! not so in where i came from
on main i think i'm one of ... five fic authors making content atm LMFAIJOWLMKA
thank you for saying you enjoy my fic! i'm doing my best, and i mostly wrote it out of spite LMFAO but i'll get into that more during my podcast whatever thingy. but thank you for sending this. it's nice to feel seen, i'm glad you agree! that's why you gotta follow/support people who do make content that suits you and makes sense, because then THEY feel encouraged to continue and do greater things!
#ask#anon#i'm not gonna put this in any tag it doesn't belong there#but these are my feelings about it#not trying to be mean either but i've just been in fandom for a long time#and i know the patterns and behaviors#as soon as i saw MK i was like 'oh no another protagonist the fandom is going to mischaracterize'#and lo and behold#long post#long post cw
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A Court of Frost and Starlight - Sarah J. Maas
2½ ⭐
CW: mention and brief discussion of SA
Sadly, this one was a total miss for me!! It was a book. I read it.
Here's the thing: I really like this series overall, but there's a lot about it that I am not a big fan of. Typically, the stuff I find interesting and fun outweighs the stuff I find cringe in a not-fun way or just not relevant to my preferences. Because this book is kind of a slice-of-life, tying loose ends kind of thing, it was, like, 90% the stuff I don't care for and 10% the characters being cute and celebrating Christmas Winter Solstice. Worst of all, it bored me!
I don't have anything against slice-of-life, but for the characters in these books, a LOT of day-to-day life is spent being horny. I just don't really get it. Rhysand is the worst for it. That man can't go five minutes without getting a raging boner because he glanced at Feyre out the corner of his eye.
You know, for a series with the effects of trauma as one of its primary themes, Rhysand only really tells us that he's traumatised from being a sex slave for 49 years. I'm not saying that his horniness contradicts his trauma in itself - plenty of people who have experienced abuse become hypersexual, in fact - but he generally doesn't show any indication whatsoever that it's impacted his relationship with his body and/or sex. You'd expect, say, a scene where something that should be innocuous - a phrase or a position or way of movement - completely takes him out of it and he has to stop because he's panicking. Not just in this book, I mean, just in general. I know that Rhysand is supposed to be a Wish Fulfilment Boyfriend but the guy's been through hell.
Related to that, but on a positive note, it was sad to see Nesta so isolated and coping so badly, but how very Nesta of her. Of course she doesn't want help or love or anything like that. I am looking forward to seeing her development in the next book, at least.
However, we've already put a damper on her relationship with Cassian. I'll admit, I adored their dynamic in Wings and Ruin - her spikiness that didn't hide the fact that she'd grown so fond of him, and him teasing her about it, it was all so cute. But then Cassian trailing her home when she told him to fuck off? My guy, I get you're worried, but take no for an answer. Don't be a creep. And throwing her Solstice present in the river out of rage was a BIG ick. I hope that's a one-off and he doesn't get all possessive and weird in the next book but I'm not holding my breath because I think the possessiveness might be intended to be hot?
Part of why I think this is because of that sex scene, which was bizarre. They had sex but then they also had sex with their minds? Double sex? And then Feyre showed him a picture of their future son right before he nutted???????????? Surely that'd be off-putting, right? Like, oh, great, I was about to cum, but you showed me a picture of a kid and now I feel a bit uncomfortable, actually.
Sadly, very little Lucien in this book. I like Lucien :(
The art studio story arc was sweet, although it did feel like it fell into Feyre's lap a little too easily, I don't know. She's always a bit of a Mary Sue but it was hard to ignore in this book. She has more money than God and people are just like "oh my dear High Lady, please take everything I own for free". Still, I liked Ressina and I think the whole thing of free art therapy for the kids is nice.
The multiple POV didn't play to Maas' strengths at all. The characters all have distinctive voices in dialogue, but she clearly can't write from their perspective consistently, so instead we get first-person chapters for Feyre and Rhysand (who have almost identical internal monologues - the only difference is Rhysand thinks about sex a bit more and describes himself as "drawling" more often) and then third-person for everyone else. When the first Cassian chapter came up, I thought he was just referring to himself in the third person like a caveman and didn't even bat an eye, so that was funny, at least. But it's a shame, because there was the opportunity for us to get a more intimate look at the side characters and we just… didn't. Multiple POV isn't something that often works for me - it usually reminds me of bad fanfic I read growing up - but it can be done well and this would have been a nice book to have that mix of personality put into it.
Highlights of this book were the Illyrian warrior snowball fight and the discussion about how none of them can be trusted not to investigate wrapped presents like excitable children. That was very cute. I do hope that Silver Flames is an improvement.
#read 2023#reviewed 2023#books#reading#ya fiction#na fiction#fantasy#can't remember if I've said but I affectionately call this series “a court of shit and piss”#this one really lived up to that
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I just scrolled through oneforthemoneys posts and holy shit what a mess. I didnt even read it all. I just started writing fics so i have no hate yet. I know its probably easier said than done but can't writers just ignore or block these haters? I cant imagine entertaining these hateful anons to where it drives you out of something you like doing. I understand the idea of protecting your peace but maybe that should start by not even giving them a chance. Writers dont have to answer those dickhead asks. Please keep your peace. You dont owe jack shit to those assholes. You dont even have to explain yourself. I guess i'm just at that age (38 🤫) where im gunna do what i want, when i want, for how long i want. I dont give a shit if u think im too old for fan fics, or if this is cringe. Ya know what i mean? I feel people are so concerned about what other people do. If u dont like something then mind ya fucken business and move on. Go find something that makes u happy. Do i make sense?
Anyway i finally saw the little mermaid today with my kids and i thought of you. (didnt finish it tho cuz these kids wanted to watch minecraft shit.)
Oh, man. How I wish. Trust me when I say EVERYONE starts off with this mindset, everyone comes in here with shields and armor (which is fucked out to have to do in the first place but that’s tumblr) and a headstrong determination to do what you want and ignore the haters. That mindset can last A WHILE, but it does cave, you lose the shield and armor piece by piece and eventually you just stop caring for it, it’s not worth your mental and emotional heath. It goes far beyond anon hate, and unfortunately I suspect you’ll discover that the longer you’re here. It’s pretty sucky as reader, but it’s pretty fucking garbage as a writer, because you see more, are exposed to more and are also more exposed, yourself. It’s like chalk art, you spend all your time crafting beautiful art and someone comes along, intentionally scuffs as much of it away or washes it away. It sucks when you yourself have to wash it away, pick up your supplies and leave the area.
I really hope your experience as a writer, in particular, is better though. I truly hope you can prosper here.
And omg, that makes me so happy! Was my doppelgänger amazing or was she amazing???
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Ugh no, I dislike Marian bc she manipulated my friend Tam. She kept blocking then unblocking him, putting them in some kind of sick cat-and-mouse game. She always tried manipulating him away from me and Club, and her behavior was intolerable. Ik you're all for innocents getting manipulated, but I ain't dealing with it, dear.
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Honey what's so hard to understand that what was said was an OBVIOUS TYPO? That's why I paid no mind to it at first, BC I USED MY GODDAMN BRAINS! YOU WERE CLEARLY JUST USING IT AS AN OPPORTUNITY TO FURTHER HARASS CLUB! HE HID THE COMMENT BC YOU WERE FALSELY ACCUSING HIM OVER IT! Club isn't a groomer, and the people saying he is are either ableist trolls like you wanting a "good" excuse to harass someone, or they're misinformed people who were manipulated by said trolls. How many times will we have to explain it, smh. I would never support actual groomers (such as you lmao), but Club ISN"T ONE.
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Uhhh prettyyyy suree Loveless is the one stalking Club, lol. Wouldn't you be as paranoid as he was if you were getting endlessly slandered and harassed like that? Ugh. You do WAY worse to your enemies.
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Uh okay and you're just as bad as Sam. Only you're a whole group of people doing this shit. So in a way ig you're worse LMAO...also what happened wasn't Club or Tam's fault so quit making it up as it is.
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No Tam probably just wanted to defend their friend, why do you assume everything is Club's fault? I swear, one day they'll blame him for the birth of Hitler. And you know what's fucked up? Seeing Tam as nothing but a minion bc of his age. Oh and for the record, you DO lash out and attack them. All the damn time lmao. Do I even have to link the examples???
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Bro stop acting like Club's manipulating me when YOU'RE the ones clearly doing it! And just bc I'm a kid doesn't mean I can't say no! Saying children can't stand up for themselves is just wrong. But the reason I don't is bc I GENUINELY APPRECIATE AND CARE ABOUT CLUB! I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST HIM! And if you did think this was true, why did you harass me later on for "not saying no" then? Tsk tsk tsk. And he supports all minorities. But when he made those cute little pride flag drawings YOU MADE FUN OF HIM FOR IT!
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Sweetheart if you're so sorry for us then stop contributing to our harassers and also quit accusing us of being future pedophiles. Just ew. Be ashamed of yourself now 7-7
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Not all of the hub attacked me, it was probably only Sam. Tri has always been friendly towards me and the whole group shouldn't be blamed for this. Keep in mind this is a place where ANYONE and EVERYONE is allowed to talk! Both good and bad people! Bc unlike you, Tri's actually fair. And unlike this group, YOUR ENTIRE GROUP WANTS TO HARASS ME!
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"why do this? is it cuz he gives you crappily drawn art? Is it cuz he tells you stupid shit like 'happy april hurr de durr’ is it cuz he gives you points and core which is WORTHLESS in the grander scheme of things?" Nah it's bc he's our friend and ya'll just salty you don't have any real ones 7w7
"If you continue to ignore this then sorry we are not going to protect you anymore if you are that brainwashed by that shit stained loser Club." Sweetie please you saying you were EVER protecting me is just gross. Kindly fuck off, if you really want me to be safe <3 (Which btw you don't, you're just disgusting manipulators.)
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Smh I'm his friend, and listening to a friend's problems IS THE LEAST YOU CAN DO FOR THEM! Club was NEVER trying to harm me! I'm completely fine with being there for him! BC HE'S MY FUCKING FRIEND! Is this how you would react to a friend of yours if they asked if they could vent to you? Just pitiful. If you don't have the emotional energy to listen to someone at the moment, politely tell them so like a normal person jfc.
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The only reason why he felt the need to seek validation from his friends is BECAUSE OF YOUR GOD-AWFUL TREATMENT OF HIM! You think you can do all the things you did and expect him to still be in a good mental health-state and have good self-thoughts? You think you can gang up on him and tell him he's a terrible person and expect him to not be insecure, scared, self-conscious, OR ANY OF THAT? You need to grow up and learn that your actions HAVE FUCKING CONSEQUENCES, YOU GODDAMN SELFISH 6-YEAR-OLDS! But then again, you would never in your life care if you ever hurt a person, now would you?
Sighhhhh I think that's enough for now lol -w-
Bye, see you tomorrow evening, and sorry for this big one, hehe.
That’s alright. Some people like them have explaining to do, more than they ever can or will.
Regarding the eighth point, admittedly things have improved a lot ever since that was a problem. I can guarantee these days Sam is a non-issue, he may come around but would have his hands tied by better paradigms when he does.
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I agree with this comment here so hard, I remember getting blasted for calling readers who don't comment "leeches" on R/Fanfiction and I'm glad people are seeing that for what it is even if it's four years late
So, I'm gonna share my own little story here because discord has actively ruined communities for fanfic (and art too I'm not gonna leave y'all out cause my bestie @zoetiger-1106 is an artist who deserves way more praise than she gets!!) The reason why authors and myself see the "I'm shy" shit as an excuse is because the same people will type long ass tirades on Discord without a single thought. YOU CAN EDIT AO3 COMMENTS PEOPLE! If you make a mistake, read it back over and edit it. I've watched it happen in real-time with one of my favorite commenters on my one-shot where they left a short gushing comment and then came back and wrote more, you have no excuse much less reason to go "Man fandom keeps telling me to not critique and I might make a mistake so I will say nothing and consume like the average TV and Streaming consumer who thinks there doing something!" YOU have a lot of power with comments and even those bookmark tags hell just copy-paste what you put into those bookmark tags as a comment I DON'T CARE AT THIS POINT USE THAT LIL BOX TO VOICE SOMETHING!!!! God this is all over the place idc but I read back at those bookmarks, and saw people call my works the best and super cool and I APPRECIATE THAT but tell me! Stop taking the easy route, I been blasted for misunderstandings over comments multiple times cause people take my "tone" terribly cause it sucks being black and emotive online yay and for some reason people think !!!! Is bad? yes, I've been hit with that but I keep on trucking cause fuck whatever some weirdo thinks about exclamation points! Anyways back to discord and why I hate it now, I was in a small fandom, KFP got invited to a discord cause ONE person commented on my works and saw they talked about my fic, and at first, I was happy and people TALKED about my chapters at length in the fanfic channel. I basically was the ONLY ONE posting consistently in that channel and it was great but also I wanted that on my fic to show I improved so guess what I did? I went all in trying to one-up myself to be noticed, to have the acclaim my peers did so it would evolve outside of discord channels but it never happened. And Imma tell y'all now; it never will. Readers prefer convenience over your hard work, they are not gonna take time for you no matter how much you improve. People told me over and over while I looked for solutions for this; "We can't make commenting look like an obligation." "Add more prose, space these paragraphs better" all this just for no one to take the initiative and say something SINCERE towards a work they love on it. I've had to tell my own ex-friends now to go leave comments on works they called Masterpieces while ignoring me. Despite the fact they wanted Gen content in which I WROTE. Or met people who have very weird "I don't review" rules for themselves despite getting motivated by reviews themselves!! We're in a shitty time for creatives much less community cause we don't see each other as humans much less want to treat each others as we desire to be treated. Fanfic readers want to treat authors like showrunners and I hate it. But then your peers will tell you 'not to worry about engagement" and no I am because why is my hit count going up every day but ain't no one saying shit? Make it make sense!! I sat in that community commenting as much as I could, especially on long fics; it wasn't all perfect but I TRIED. I didn't expect shit back but hey it would have been nice but it never happened and again I learned; it never would. That's the real issue, no one wants to give no more; just take and take and take til you're sucked dry of passion worse than any corpo out right now. It's why I thankfully switched fandoms. I got ONE consistent commenter and they are better than that ENTIRE SMALL CLOSED COMMUNITY!! So, to any discord reactor for fanfic you better skip on to that message you made and copy and paste it in this box right here and never utter "I'm shy" ever again cause we see you, our friends tell us about you. You are not as anonymous as you think! 🫵🏽
A writer friend told me something that broke my heart a little bit today; they're going to quit publishing their fanfic.
My instant thought was that they had been trolled or attacked or that something terrible had happened in their life because this person is so passionate about their writing. It wasn't any of that. Engagement with their works has been going down, as it has for many of us. Comments are like gold dust a lot of the time, and just looking through the historical comment counts on old fics on ao3 demonstrates this trend very clearly. It was not simply the comments dropping off which caused them to decide to stop posting, however.
My friend came across a discord server for their fandom (I should point out here that their fandom interest and mine diverged a couple of years ago, we stay in touch but don't currently read each other's posts because I'm not into their fandom and they would rather gouge their eyes out with a wooden spoon than read anything Star Wars) and specifically to share fic in that fandom. They joined, because we all love a good fic rec, only to discover that their latest multichapter fic, which has almost no comments and very few kudos, is being hotly discussed in this server as one of the best stories ever. Not one of these people has bothered to say this to them on the fic. When they asked, none of participants could see the point in telling the author of the fic they apparently loved so much that they love it.
This discovery has absolutely destroyed my friend's love of sharing fic. They share because they love seeing other people's enjoyment, and fic writers do that through comments and kudos/reblogs/likes because we don't get paid. There is no literary critic writing a blog post/article about how amazing the story is for us to copy and keep/frame. There is no money from royalties. All we have are the words of the people reading our works.
Those people on that server could have taken five minutes of the time they spent gushing about how amazing my friend's story was to other people and used it to tell the one person guaranteed to want to hear that praise how much they loved it. They could have taken a moment to express their opinion to the person who spent hours upon hours plotting, writing, editing, and posting those chapters. Instead, they deprived my friend of thing that keeps them sharing their writing, and in the process have killed their love of it. My friend now feels used and unmotivated.
I won't be sharing a link to their fic, they said I could share their experience but not their identity. I know they plan to post one final chapter. I know they intend to express their hurt at being excluded from the praise for the thing they created, and I know they intend to announce that as a consequence they will not be posting for a long while, if at all.
So please, I beg you, don't hide your love of a story from the writer. It's just about the only thing we have.
#fanfiction#fanfic#god I hate talking about that ol fandom shit#i sound like a vet whose seen some shit#but im sick of other writers and readers downplaying how we feel#taylor talks
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when i saw you said you got too mad about rabbit hole i was SO scared you were about to go into a tirade about how "ooh sex miku song bad i hate sex its BAD and you shouldnt ever explore it as a topic because its TABOO AND MORALLY WRONG and how dare you taint miku >:(" WHICH IS WHAT I HAVE SEEN SO MANY PEOPLE DO AND IT DRIVES ME FUCKING CRAZY
its so nice to see you being based and correct that feels so rare in the vocaloid fandom and actually just the whole internet recently. like no the song is not bad for being about sex. no the song should not just be treated as one big "haha sex funny" bit either. PLEASE JUST ACKNOWLEDGE THE SONG FOR WHAT IT IS. deco spends all this time crafting songs about failing or doomed to fail relationships and self esteem issues and other things related to romance/sex and i think its so good every time but noooo we cant have nice things im putting every single deco song away until people can be normal or actually appreciate it.
like idk i dont wanna tell people theres a "right way" to consume these songs but apparently there is definitely a wrong way jesus christ
Yeah my issue w rabbit hole doesn't come from the song itself but the way it's been bastardized. It's also why I can't stand mesmerizer, all those little details just make me think "oh so you can be analytical in your art but chose to be weird with rabbit hole"
The artist also did an animation that was like. Tiny animations for a bunch of different songs styled to make it look like Miku's stuck in the album art and picked a sexy post for slowmotion of all songs? Like the pose was almost identical to the one they chose for. I wanna say Romeo and Cinderella. Like I just can't stand that guy. I do think Miku age discourse is stupid but I also think there's. Limits u know.
Also just the way the animation is way more popular than the actual key art/MV to the point where most covers use it and hell someone I was talking to in a project sekai server earlier thought thought it WAS the original mv (these ppl aren't "those" type of proseka fans either so it wasnt a case of a proseka fan being ignorant)
It's just all so frustrating and the way that animation is see as the original especially makes me want to fight
Plus yeah deco has gone on record that a lot of his songs are deeper/more personal but people don't care about that 🙄
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