#whenever i listen behind the tavern i’m just like ????? HELLO?????

[thezoneoftruth]

i can’t believe tim sniffen just. actually sounds like that.

[genshin-obsessed]

Would you mind doing the boys with an insomniac s/o? I cant sleep well bc I have ADHD and itd be nice....

I hope you like it 🥺🥺💖💖 I’m a lil proud of these

Sleepless in Teyvat

He understands, he sometimes has a hard time sleeping as well.

He’s usually got some things prepared. He always has melatonin on hand, he’s willing to talk you to sleep, late night walks are always fun, whatever you need.

His favorite thing to do is hold you while you two just talk. 

“Kaeya?” The man looked up at you, a gentle smile spreading across his face.

“Can’t sleep, love?” You shook your head, walking towards him and sitting down on his lap. He was busy working on some paperwork, but it wasn’t due tomorrow and you clearly needed some attention. Kaeya wrapped his arms around you and kissed your head.

“No,” you mumbled, burying your face into his chest, “again.”

“Come on, let’s lay in bed. It’ll be more comfortable there.” You tried to get off, but he’d picked you up first. Kaeya carried you into your bedroom and gently placed you down. He got into bed and pulled you close to him.

His hand raked through your hair as the two of you talked. You always felt like you were bothering him, but you weren’t. Kaeya adored you, all of you.

He’s up at night anyway. He works at the tavern so you can drop by whenever and he’ll keep you company.

Because he’s up too, he’s more than happy to do something with you. Talk, walk around the city, but if you want sleep, he’s got some melatonin for you.

His favorite thing to do actually depends on the location. If he’s at the tavern, he likes the card game. If you’re at home, he likes to watch the stars (there’s a spot by the manor where he’ll lay a blanket down and hold you while you stargaze).

“Welcome to- oh, hello, (f/n).” Diluc said as the tavern door shut behind you. You sat down on one of the bar stools and frowned at him.

“I can’t sleep, again.” You muttered, looking up at him. Diluc gave you a sympathetic smile before reaching out and patting your head.

“It’s alright, look on the bright side, I was getting pretty lonely without you.” He reached under the counter and pulled out a deck of cards. You watched him with a soft smile as he took the cards out of the box and started to shuffle them for you. Your favorite game was (card game) and no matter how many times you’d already played it, Diluc was always willing to play with you again. Even if it meant playing all night. He’d taught you a few games, himself, especially his favorite: Mad Despair. It was a fun game that required both strategy and speed. You were still learning.

“Thanks, Diluc.”

“Ready?” He asked, looking at you with a smile. You nodded as you picked up your set of cards.

“Ready to kick your butt.”

Venti didn’t have trouble with sleep. He was saddened to learn that you did and wanted to do everything in his power to help you.

He learned everything he could about it and quickly worked on coming up with some solutions. He worked pretty fast, actually.

His favorite thing to do was tell you a story. He was a bard afterall, therefore, he put his talents to use! He would play his lyre and sing or tell you stories. Fall asleep? Great! It worked! Still up? That’s ok, because he’s got a lot of stories.

“Venti…” You mumbled, poking your boyfriend’s cheek. His eyes opened and he blinked a few times, before he looked at you and smiled.

“Aw, can’t sleep again?” You shook your head as he sat up and pulled you close. He gave you a kiss on the cheek before getting out of bed. “It’s ok! I just remembered another story I wanted to tell you!” He quickly fetched his lyre then got back into bed. You laid back down as he began to tell you the story.

It was hard to pay attention to the story when someone as handsome as he told you a story. You kept getting lost in his eyes.

Aether actually had trouble sleeping himself. Mostly due to nightmares, especially of the night Lumine was taken. He’d still had yet to find that god and it haunted him most nights.

He, just like Venti, didn’t know much about what to do. So, he finally looked into it, mostly for you. He found a few solutions, the main one being melatonin.

Ok, don’t judge. His favorite thing to do with you is wrestling. Well… play wrestling. It’s just fun and tiring, the cuddles after are the best.

“A-Aether!” You laughed as he tackled you down on the bed. You wiggled around, rolling so that he was under you. You straddled his waist and leaned down, pressing a kiss on his lips.

He gave your lips a quick nip, causing you to move back, giving him a small window to flip you over. You laughed as your back landed against the soft mattress. Aether’s golden hair tickled your nose as he leaned in.

“Do you surrender?”

“Never!”

“Oh, a feisty one, eh?” You burst into laughter as his hands attacked your sides. You yelped out, trying to get him to stop, but he was relentless. He didn’t stop, not until your cheeks were bright red and your stomach hurt due to the laughter.

As you turned to your side, still laughing and trying to catch your breath, Aether’s loving eyes followed you, a gentle smile playing on his lips. You looked at him, as your giggles died down.

“What?” You mumbled, making him shake his head a little.

“Just… beautiful.”

Razor didn’t know what the word “insomniac” meant. You had to explain it to him, and even then he had a bit of a hard time understanding the word.

Razor was able to find some natural solutions. He knew of a plant called “Whisper Fern” which was known to be a natural sleep aid. He would gather them for you as much as he could.

For the days you didn’t want that, he had other things. His favorite was taking late night walks through the forest. The way the moon lit up the path was something he loved to experience. It was even better with you.

You frowned, taking a seat on the small rock as you looked ahead into the distance. The full moon shone down on your form as you looked out over the small cliff. You heard rustling behind you and turned to see your boyfriend approaching.

“Oh, hello, Razor.”

“Can’t sleep?” You shook your head with a light smile as he walked towards you. His hand landed on your shoulder, sliding down your arm before he took your arm. “Come.” You didn’t argue, instead you stood up and followed him.

The two of you walked down the path, letting the moon be your guide. These walks were often silent as you listened to nature around you. The wind rustling in the trees, the bugs chirping, and hearing any owls in the distance.

Your hands were intertwined as you hoped over rocks and roots, never breaking apart once. It was rather romantic, something you had come to love more than you thought you would.

You two arrived at an open field at the base of the mountain you had been on. Razor gave your arm a little tug, making a smile spread across your face. You gave him a nod and the two of you took off. You ran through the field, finally letting go of each other, racing all the way to the other side. Whoever lost, owed the other kisses. Plenty of them.

[genshin-fluff]

Diluc Being Jealous.

Hello! I’ve received requests regarding jealousy headcanons, and I started to work on them. However, they turned out to be quite long so I decided to post them separately. Here is Diluc. Please enjoy your reading!  

You were supposed to meet with Diluc at the tavern around 8pm.

However, on your way there, to your surprise, you stumble upon nobody else but Zhongli, who apparently was visiting Mondstadt for business reasons.

“It may so happens that I have a few free moments, y/n. Perhaps you could show me a good place to dine in Mondstadt?”

You couldn’t say no to this man. It was 7 pm and you had a free hour anyway.

Good Hunter was closed so the only choice was the tavern.

Diluc was the bartender, and he was constantly checking the door whenever it would open, hoping to see you.

When you finally came, he couldn’t help but smile. He almost raised his hand to greet you when he saw. another man. with you.

Diluc. Was. Not. Pleased™.

He would instantly switch to his default “arm crossed, slight frown stance” and keep it for the whole time you two were there.

You are the one who asked to meet him at the tavern, and now you show up with another guy? Are you that shameless?

You greet him with a warm smile on your face, and take a seat at a table with Zhongli.

He would try his best not to stare or listen in, and he’d try his best to focus on other customers, but he just.. couldn’t help himself, especially when you were literally in the same room as him. What were you two even talking about? Are you that giddy with everybody?

Diluc was a very self-confident person, but even he noticed how cool Zhongli was. He was perfect in every way. His clothes fit perfectly, he was also undeniably handsome, and, from what he could hear, he was also very well spoken and rich. Even his ponytail was slicker than his.

As he was thinking about these things, he’d quietly brood behind the counter. Did you forget about the fact that you were supposed to meet him?

Deep down, he’d be extremely sad. He’s opened up his heart to you, which was already a difficult task, and seeing you with another man laughing and having such a great time, without any notice from you, would make him question whether or not you feel the same for him.

However, the rational side of him knew that there must be something else to it, because you wouldn’t just show up in front of him out of nowhere with another guy. He honestly just wanted to hear an explanation to ease his heart.

Eventually, you told Zhongli that you were glad you two could catch up, and that you could continue this conversation tomorrow, because at that moment you were supposed to meet Diluc.

You two went to the counter to pay the bill, and Diluc would try his BEST to be as indifferent as possible.

“That’ll be 5000 mora.”

Zhongli would reach for his pocket.

“O h n o. I am so sorry y/n, but it seems that I am out of mora again.”

“Again?? It’s like the fourth or fifth time!”

Again? Fifth time? Have you been meeting this guy all this time?

You sighed and wanted to grab your wallet, but Diluc stopped you.

“It’s fine, it’s on the house.”

“You are quite a gentleman indeed. Thank you so much for your generosity. I’m glad to know that y/n has such kind people beside her. I will see myself out, y/n. Thank you for such an entertaining evening. “

And with that, Zhongli would leave.

You’d turn your face to Diluc, only to be met with cold, unreadable eyes.

“I hope I didn’t keep you waiting for a long time. I tried to finish with Zhongli in time. Maybe we could leave the tavern and go for a walk? ”

“As you can see, y/n. I am quite busy right now. It seems that you were busy as well too.”

“It’s fine, I can wait. I was actually looking forward to meeting you.”

Diluc would almost freeze. You just came with another man and you would say such sweet things to him? He couldn’t be angry with you and he couldn’t say no. He hoped everything was a misunderstanding.

“..Fine. I’ll be done in 2 minutes.”

You two left the tavern and went for a walk outside Mondstadt.

You noticed that he wasn’t feeling well, but you didn’t say anything until you two were alone.

In fact, Diluc was waiting for this exact moment too, because the instant nobody was around, he couldn’t hold it in anymore. He had to ask you about the tavern. His mind was brimming with questions. Have you been playing with his feelings all along? Was everything just a joke to you, when he took everything so seriously?

“So, who was that guy? You seemed quite cheerful during the whole time he was there. ”

He’d try his best to seem unaffected, but you noticed the small crackle in his voice, and could tell that there was more to it.

“Oh, Zhongli?? He’s just a good friend of mine that helped me in a mission in Liyue! He never has money on him, and I end up paying for him almost all the time!! I’m sorry if I caused you trouble.”

Diluc was starting to feel more at ease.

“Fine. And how come you showed up with him at the tavern? I thought you were supposed to meet me. Or perhaps were you too captivated by his words that you forgot?”

He didn’t want to seem overtly desperate, but the words just sprung out of his mouth. He is usually very well composed, but when it comes to you, he just can’t do it.

“How could I forget, you silly!! It’s just been a while since the last time I saw him, and I thought I could catch up with him since I had a free hour before our date. I’m sorry if I made you think otherwise. I told him that I was supposed to meet you, and he left. There is nothing more. He is just a dear friend.”

Hearing you explain everything to him made him feel so embarrassed for ever doubting your feelings.

“And that’s everything, nothing more? He seemed  to be quite a charming guy.”

“Yes, he is, but I am already in love with you. I can see you and only you, everything else is just in the background.”

As you say this, you grab his hand and squeeze your body closer to his. His hand was warm, and slightly trembling. Maybe you did make him worry.

Diluc exhaled and squeezed your hand back. How could you be so so cute? He is now feeling like a fool for ever doubting your feelings. He can finally relax.

He literally stops in the middle of the road and locks you into a tight hug, while whispering into your ear “it’s fine, I just thought that maybe you.. were on a date with him and that you didn’t have feelings for me.”

His voice was low, almost exhausted. He was glad everything was just a misunderstanding. He fell hard for you, and just the thought that you took everything as a joke was making him feel nauseous.

Oh, now you understand what it was all about.

You hug him back as tightly as possible and reassure him that everything is fine.

“No, never. You’re the only one I have feelings for, and the only one person that I want to go on dates with.”

Diluc puffed with a smile on his face. You were so corny and he was so happy to hear that everything was fine.

When he let go, you couldn’t help but ask

“May I ask if you were jealous?”

“I have no recollection of such events.” he deadpans.

Pls treasure this man cuz he may seem grumpy and cold, but his heart is so so soft and sensitive for the people he truly loves. You are the only person in his life for whom he harbors such feelings, so please take a good care of him.

[jaskiersvalley]

Could you do some witchers brothers and hurt/comfort please? Maybe with vesemir or jaskier. I love your blog (sorry for my English it's not my mother tongue) and I really enjoy each ficlet you post. Take care and thank you! :)

Nonnie, fear not about your English, it is perfect. As one non-native English speaker to another, I think it’s fantastic we have this common language to communicate in!

Every winter all wolf Witchers returned to Kaer Morhen whether they wanted to or not. Some years Jaskier could have sworn Geralt was silently pleading with him to be given an excuse not to return but the one time Jaskier actually asked Geralt to stay, he was given a small, almost remorseful shake of head. It took another couple of years before Jaskier tried again.

“I have to go back to Kaer Morhen,” Geralt said, staring into his empty bowl at the tavern. They were due to go their separate ways from there and, as time went on, they left later and later just to have a few more hours or a day in each other’s company.

“Then let me come with you.”

The request from Jaskier had Geralt blinking, as startled as a Witcher ever got. He seemed reluctant in a way that Jaskier hadn’t actually seen before.

“You won’t like it.” The problem was, it didn’t even sound like an excuse. “There’s not much to do.”

That was something Jaskier wanted to judge for himself. Plus, he could think of ways of spending a whole winter if Geralt was amenable. So he smiled.

“I don’t mind. I’d rather spend months with you in your company, doing nothing but staring lovingly into your eyes than a winter without you by my side.”

It took a bit of convincing, Geralt’s resistance and resolve wasn’t all that strong to start with. Jaskier could see him at war with himself over the matter, all he did was help settle it. He was going to Kaer Morhen.

The climb up was exhausting. It was cold, the kind that signalled that snow was going to fall all too soon. Jaskier just had to hope they would make it before it properly started coming down. They didn’t.

By the time they got to the old keep, snow was clumped on Jaskier’s shoulders and hood, even the hair that stuck out from under it was like an icicle on his forehead. Opening the door, Geralt led them through and Jaskier almost whined in disappointment. There was no wall of warmth to walk into, no greeting from other Witchers. In fact, it was cold and barren, not even a torch on to light the way. Only a hand on Jaskier’s arm helped guide him through the corridors until they got to a door. Geralt thumped on it twice before opening it the smallest crack and slipping though, dragging Jaskier along before closing the door again.

The room was likely a smaller dining hall attached to the kitchen once upon a time. Not the grandiose halls Jaskier had dreamed of. However, the walls were all lined with fur, the floor piled high with it and there was a roaring fire to bring light and heat to the room.

“You brought company.” There were three figures in front of the fire now that Jaskier looked, all of them in a pile, looking rather cosy. He had no idea who had spoken.

“Hello, I’m Jaskier, the renowned bard.” Introductions were always polite.

“Don’t care.” That had to be Lambert talking. “Just dump your stuff and get in here.”

Quite the upfront invite and Jaskier glanced to Geralt to assess his reaction. However, Geralt had already started stripping, his snow coated cloak was hung on the back of a chair while everything else went clattering. Taking his lead, Jaskier did the same. It was only when they were down to their smalls that Geralt stopped and stepped towards the pile. He slipped in and gestured for Jaskier to follow too. Under the furs, it was surprisingly warm and, tired from the trek, Jaskier couldn’t really blame himself for falling asleep.

For the first few days Jaskier relished the quiet, relaxed atmosphere and the fact that there was nothing to do other than rest. Sure, it was a little weird to lounge around sharing body heat but maybe it was a wolf thing. However, by the third day he was getting a bit bored.

“When do you start training? Or doing anything?”

“I told you-” Geralt replied, “-there isn’t much to do.”

Not much didn’t mean there wasn’t anything to do, at least, that’s not how Jaskier interpreted it. He was proven wrong by the end of the first week. They had done nothing other than sleep, eat and huddle under the pile of furs. Going out to relieve himself was a special kind of torture, it was so cold, Jaskier was surprised he didn’t just piss icicles.

After the first week it seemed that the others lost some of their hesitance around him. It was early one morning when Jaskier woke up to noises he was no stranger to but didn’t expect to hear so close. In the far corner of the room, Lambert was above Eskel, fucking into him without a care for their audience.

“If you keep staring you’ll be invited to join in,” Geralt grumbled from under the pile of furs behind Jaskier. On his other side Vesemir muttered something darkly before settling back down.

“Do they want an audience? Isn’t this a bit weird?”

Geralt shrugged at the questions. “We’ve got needs, nothing we haven’t all seen or done before. Just ignore them, they’ll be done soon.”

Jaskier supposed he ought to be grateful the two had taken themselves to the other side of the room as least. It didn’t mean he still wasn’t treated to a full show filed with soft grunts and what sounded dangerously like murmurs of love declarations. The kissing sure helped drive that one home. Resolve hardening, Jaskier determined he wouldn’t put on such a show for everyone else.

“We could go somewhere more private,” he propositioned Geralt. It was quite the matter of need now, he hadn’t even had the privacy to jerk off. His balls were starting to ache.

“Where? It’s too cold anywhere else.”

Which was true enough. Jaskier had tried to think of anywhere they could go for a fumble without an audience. The stables were his best idea but Geralt snorted dismissively.

“Not in front of Roach.”

The determination to find somewhere, anywhere else lasted all of three more days before Jaskier caved in. He all but dragged Geralt to the most distant corner and demanded he be ravished. It was so good, he could even forget the three other Witchers in the room. They didn’t forget him though and, over the course of the week, Jaskier found himself propositioned by all other residents of Kaer Morhen. When he asked Geralt, he got a shrug in return. “Do what you please. I don’t mind sharing as long as you know I still love you.”

After that, winter seeed somewhat more bearable. Jaskier loved to learn what made the other Witchers moan and squirm. It was like discovering a whole new book to memorise and refine. Lambert liked his hair being pulled, Eskel preferred soft kisses while Vesemir would rumbled the filthiest things in Jaskier’s ear. In short, Jaskier was thoroughly entertained. There was still one thing on his mind though.

“Why do you even come back?”

They were sat around the fire, eating. The silence and shifty looks didn’t really help.

“It’s impossible to survive a winter up here alone,” Geralt began.

Much more kindly, Eskel took over. “Vesemir doesn’t go out on the Path anymore. He keeps as much of Kaer Morhen in one piece as he can and prepares stores for each winter.”

So it was a matter of duty. Jaskier couldn’t imagine how awful it would be alone up in the old, crumbling keep. Even worse, a winter alone.

“The whole keep is nothing but holes and crumbling stone. We can’t keep it warm over winter, no matter how much we fuel the fires,” Lambert interrupted his thoughts. “So we heat one room, next to the kitchen. Sorted for food, we keep each other warm. Guests are always welcome though few ever would want to winter with us like this.”

“Just bring your damn cat next time,” Vesemir cut in with an eye roll. “I can hear you telling Eskel about him almost every day.”

Jaskier listened, pondering over everything he heard. By the sounds of it, the Wolves returned to Kaer Morhen out of a sense of duty, to keep Vesemir alive through the winter. It was noble but also stupid as fuck.

“Come spend winter with me in Oxenfurt next year.” The offer was made without much consideration. It seemed obvious to him. “I could probably even get you a couple of hours of work a week, teaching history and the like to students.”

No more worries about freezing to death, no more obligations to each other. Jaskier liked the idea of his free Witchers hanging around because they wanted to rather than had to. It would mean the opportunity to train during the winter, resting too if they wanted to. Plus, if they wanted to bring guests, there was more to do than just lounge around and fuck. Though they could still do that, Jaskier was very much into the idea of that. But next time, next winter, there would be beds and privacy for whenever they wanted it.

[cerealyoam]

☆Kaeya is a saggitarius☆

author's note: hello! I have returned. the writers block left my body when i heard this playlist

pairing: kaeya alberich x gender neutral reader

he's there, the love of your life, maybe you'd spend your life with him - but kaeya kissing someone other than you was another sight entirely.

You brought the wine glass to your lips. It tasted like it always did, familiar and with a bit of tar. Sweet enough to remind you that the sweetest one was right there next to you, staring into you like you held the world in your hands, like you layed the oceans with blues and greens, like you put the bright stars in his eyes.

His smile lit up your world, your hands intertwined tight, playful was he whenever he'd take his arms out of yours, intertwining them once more in some other layout.

You felt he hung up the stars in your heart, too.

"Y/n," he said, finally. "I need to go now. I have a few errands to run."

"This late?"

Kaeya nods, gaze not leaving yours. "I'll be back tonight, don't worry."

He stood up, placing a kiss on your fingers, before letting go and walking out the tavern - not without looking back once to grin sheepishly, like he always did.

You turn back to your wine glass, now empty, you realise. You brush yourself off, pick up anything you've left behind and make your way back home.

The clouds still showed, despite it was nearing midnight. Lights from poles shone in your eyes brightly, and you're home.

You switched the lights on, and yet the world still went gray.

There he was; his hands intertwined in another's, not quite the same he did to you, his hands on the couch, his good eye facing the other way, the other holding him by the collar, as they lay fallen back onto the cushions. His lips on theirs, caught in a kiss.

The other turned to look at you, grinning knowingly, kissing kaeya harder - not before he could push them off as hard as he could.

"What was that for, you-?" Kaeya finally looks at you, his eye blown wide with confusion, worry, because you saw that-

"I want you both out."

Your voice didn't feel like your own.

Kaeya starts to walk up to you, "Y/N, wait-"

"Did you really just say that? Did you really just ask me to wait?" It was all too much to see, too much to bear. "I said OUT. BOTH of you!"

Kaeya tries to open his mouth to say something, anything,

"And if you even think to stay here any longer, I'm telling the knights that you're on my property without my notice."

Feeling defeated, the two leave.

☆

The next few days, kaeya tries insistently to speak to you. He was there where you worked, where you studied, where you shopped, wherever he could find you, he would. And it would always be the same old words.

"Y/N, please, just listen to me-"

"Y/N, we really need to talk,"

"Y/N, please, theres a misunderstanding,"

It was ringing in your ears. You couldn't bear it, and went where he wouldn't think find you, windrise.

No one went out this late, except for maybe venti on a good day, but otherwise, it was pitch black save for a few crystalflies and the statue of barbatos.

You sat at the thick root of the tree, staring at the moon, the clouds, wishing kaeya were there next to you, but you didn't, it was empty, just as he'd emptied his feelings when he layed his hands on another person.

You felt drowsy, exhausted from all the emotions, from all the pain, you felt your body grow drowsy, eyes drifting closed as you lay your head on the trunk.

"I've arrived. Now if you'd care to explain, I'd find that most entertaining."

Your eyes snapped open. You'd know him anywhere.

"Don't worry your pretty little head, Sir Kaeya. With your petty partner out of the way, we can finally chat," another voice said, you didn't know who they were, but assumed it was whoever kaeya was cheating on your with.

"I have everything to say to you, you lying bastard. Have you any idea what you've done?! What you've put me and them through?! I should report you right over if it wasn't for the festivals coming up-"

"Oh hush, you like me just as much as you like them. They can't even match up to my standards, you know? They hold no water."

"You bastard, you bitch," you hear harsh footsteps marching toward you. "You have 10 seconds to take all that bullshit back before i break into your face so hard you never pull this shit again."

"And what then? They hate you, they'll never speak to you, there's no one to go back to but me. No one will believe someone who has flirtatious, mischievous and untrustworthy as their top three characteristics, let alone that you didn't cheat on them even though they saw with their own ey-"

WHACK!

Your fist collided into hard teeth, the other falling back into the tree trunk. They trued to stand up, shocked beyond belief, but no, you kick a leg to their stomach and they fall back once again.

You're certain they won't choose to get up anytime soon, and turn to kaeya. He looks at you, you see the same love in them you've known for forever.

He soon catches up to reality, pulling himself together to say anything, "Y/N, archons, you're here, are- are you okay?"

He quickly scrambles up to you, checking you for injuries, and tears fall down his face onto your arms, "Archons, you're alright, how long have you been there? I- I never ever, ever meant to hurt you, I'd never do that to you, I wish i could have pushed them off sooner, seen what they were going to do, they barged in and-"

His cold lips met yours, your hands pulling him closer to you, wrapping around him and he did too. You kissed like it didn't matter if you'd draw your last breath, but it was so familiar, so loving, so full.

Archons know when you two parted, but by then, the other was gone, you and kaeya felt lost to the world, not realizing what time it was anymore.

"We," kaeya huffed, out of breath. "We have a lot to talk about."

[falcor-thee-luck-dragon]

Jaskier x firebender reader - We need a horse

Summary: Jaskier is tired of constantly walking, so he convinces you to find a way to get a horse.

Warnings- shenanigans, fighting, death of bad guys, Jaskier fluff 

Masterlist

You and Jaskier are standing outside of a tavern as Geralt does whatever on the inside, you’re guessing it’s finding a new monster to hunt. Or perhaps he could be swooning over a fair maiden, yeah that doesn’t seem very plausible. You shake the thought out of your head as you lean against the side of the stony tavern, your boots in the dirt. Jaskier stands to your left fiddling with a piece of his tunic, as he watches random village goers walk by.

“I’ve just had a thought.” He says from out of nowhere. You push yourself off of the wall, nonchalantly resting your hand on the hilt of your sword that’s positioned at your hip.

“Oh here we go.” You quietly mutter.

“Maybe we could all take turns on Roach.”

You chuckle, “Yeah that’s unlikely.”

“No seriously, we have to walk all the time from village to town to castle to wherever the fuck the money and monsters are....so we should take turns riding Roach.” He argues, trying to get you on board with his new idea.

“I mean...I guess you do make a compelling argument.” You tell him with a shrug.

“See! I’m telling you Y/N, when that grumpy old snowbear comes back outta the tavern from whatever indulgences he’s getting into....I’m gonna tell him.” Jaskier exclaims, ever so sure of himself.

You give him a half-convinced nod, “You do that. I’ll watch from over there, by the carpet seller.” You tell him as you head towards the table across the road. His eyes widen at the realization that your a no-go for his plan to get Geralt of all people to share Roach. “What? You’re not going to help at all. This is Geralt. He won’t give a flying fuck about what I’m saying...but if I have you...we have a winning argument.” He tries his best to persuade you, but you appear unflinching as you turn around to look at him.

“Jask, I’ve know Geralt awhile...he’s not gonna go for it.”

“But Y/N.” Whines Jaskier with a pout. You step in closer to put your hand on his shoulder in an attempt at trying to comfort him, while you give him your most sincere smile.

“Listen there’s a vender over there who sells really nice travel bearing boots....some of them look very....er up to your tastes.” His face falls at that, so you abruptly remove your hand from his tense shoulder.

“Well you’re certainly no help, thanks for nothing. Sorry I’m not...well...whatever you are that makes it so easy to just walk everywhere and not apparently get tired.” He sasses, folding his arms and turning around with a dramatic huff. You roll your eyes at Jaskier’s pettiness, no matter how small the act.

You shake your head with a annoyed frown, “It’s not my fault I’m just not a little bitch.” You jest, whisper yelling the last part, gods Jaskier can be such a little princess.

You casually mosey on over by the shoe vender taking a good look at their diverse array of footwear, you look up again to glance over at a pouty Jaskier that’s looking over his shoulder to find you. When your eyes meet you stick your tongue out at him and he quickly looks away, staring intently back at the tavern door.

“Hello miss are you looking for something specific?” Asks an older man from behind the counter. You turn towards him with a small smile, “Oh um, I’m just looking for a friend.....just seeing what you got.” You reply giving him a nod as you look down at all the boots. He does have a nice gathering of travel wear as well as for parties and...

“Oh come on Geralt. Some of us don’t have a horse. It’s only fair.”

Your head snaps up at the sound of Jaskier, you watch as Geralt ignores him while he starts walking over towards you. His face is a blank slate of annoyance a he makes his way to where you’re standing as he tries to get Jaskier off his ass, with your help of course. “Y/N, did you have anything to with this.” He grumbles, stopping in front of you.

You look around his large frame at a pleading Jaskier, and then back up to him, “Nope.” You deadpan, Jaskier purses his lips together in frustration, as he walks around Geralt with his hands on his hips. He goes to open his mouth but you stop him, “I’ll just buy a horse Jask.” He stands back in surprise, before his brows furrow in confusion, “Okay as great as that sounds Y/N, how exactly are you going to afford a horse?” He wonders honestly, unsure of how you’d come up with the money. Considering the three of you low-key struggle as is to find an abundance of coin.

 You cross your arms over your chest while giving them both a confident smirk, “I’ll find a way believe me.” You assure them, Geralt nods as he turns to walk away and Jaskier still looks troubled.

You roll your eyes at him while you link your arm in his, the both of you begin to walk in Geralt’s direction. “I’d really like to know how you’re going to get us a horse...but then again, maybe I don’t.” He muses, you pull him in closer to you, whispering in his ear. “There’s a pack of bandits on the outskirts of the village woods. I plan on robbing them for coin and whatever other valuables they may have.”

His eyebrows raise as he tilts his head to you, “That’s smart. Hmm you’re gonna need a lookout or...ah right! A distraction.” He says excitedly, always ready to get into trouble with you whenever the opportunity arises. 

“Shhh...you want everyone to hear us. And besides I’m going alone.” He stops walking and holds onto both of your forearms. “Y/N. I need new material for a ballet, please let me go with you.....I mean the action, the danger, the gore, and uh...theft. So much potential.” He whisper yells while looking deeply into your shining eyes.

“If you keep giving me that look with those big blue eyes of yours I’ll crack. And last I checked you can’t exactly defend yourself as well as either myself or Geralt. You can get hurt Jaskier...” He holds up a finger to silence you.

“Y/N my love, my rose in a dead garden, my feisty foxy woman, my lamppost guiding me through a dark forest on a cold winters eve...my..”

“Jaskier.”

“What? I’m on a roll... you inspire me my dear.” He tells you grinning cheekily.

You shake your head smiling at him adoringly, “Gods alright, you can come along...but you’ll have to hide and....Stay. Out. Of. The. Way.” You warn him firmly, Jaskier just grins happily, bringing up his hands to cup your cheeks. “Ah, I love you.” He exclaims joyously, smashing his lips into yours. He pulls away abruptly leaving you dazed and wanting more, as he pulls you down the trail leading to Geralt and Roach.

“Eh..uh...okay then.” You mumble, smiling brightly like a huge lovestruck idiot. Dammit Jaskier with his stupid smile, and voice, and his even stupider charm. He’s the only person who’s able to break you enough to give in and let him get what he wants. If you could slap that infuriating grin right off of his smug face, but in all honesty you’d rather kiss it off him instead.

----

Later that evening you get up from your spot near the campfire. Geralt watches you suspiciously as he sits in broody silence trying to figure out what you’re up to. Jaskier finishes his rabbit leg, flicking the bone into the fire as he stands up to follow your lead. Geralt’s eyebrow raises, “And where are you two going?” He mutters. You snap your armored gauntlets onto your forearms while you look up at Geralt. “I’m finding coin.” You answer, reaching out to pick up your infamous metal chained whip, perfect for slaying monsters and taking out bandits and whoever else is in your way. “I’ll be back later, don’t follow me.”

“Oh and I’m coming too! I’ll have a fresh new ballot by this time tomorrow...it’ll be fantastic.” Gushes Jaskier, throwing his hands in the air for emphasis.

“Yeah...uh... he won’t be near me.” You assure Geralt with an honest nod. He shrugs, not wanting to bother in your guys’ business. “Alright then. Let’s get a go on things. A horse won’t buy itself after all.” Says Jaskier enthusiastically, putting his hands on his hips. You pull up your hood, turning to quickly grab your camouflaged scarf to then adjust the dark green material to help better conceal your face.

“Here you might want this.” You tell Jaskier as you hand him a dark cloak, he gladly accepts it, throwing it on with ease. “And this...just incase.” You add while handing him a small dagger that’s lying secured in its sheath. He cautiously takes it, giving you a nod as he tucks it into his vest. You stand back to give Jaskier a look up and down, as he fumbles around with his cloak, completely oblivious to your amused gaze.

“Jask!”

He suddenly stops, snapping his head up to look at you, his hair flopping into his eyes. “Yes, my love?”

“Let’s go.” You tell him while walking away into the woods and out of sight, Jaskier gives Geralt an ecstatic smile before abruptly turning on his heels to trail after you.

The forest is dark and heavy, a small breeze rocking the branches in a strange type of dance. You look up through the cracks in the forest canopy above you, a crescent moon shows a Cheshire Cat-like smile beaming down on you from the sky. The stars seem to twinkle from high into the heavens, while back on earth the night is cool and mysterious. Your eyes adjust to the darkness now that you’re away from the comfort of the campfire light as you bring your hand up to make a tiny flame so you don’t trip on the forest floor.

Your peaceful moment is intrusively interrupted by the rushed steps of your humble bard, who’s fumbling in the dark to try and keep up with you. You turn around just in time to catch him as he has amazingly tripped on a tree root. His arms flail out as you snatch him by his torso, you little flame going out as this clash has evidently lead the both of you into a aggressive hug of sorts that sends you crashing onto the forest floor. Your back hits the grass with a hard thud as a greater pressure holds you in place from above. You suck in a sharp breath as your eyes shoot open to the weight that’s pinning you to the ground, the smiling face of Jaskier is staring right into your eyes.

“Well aren’t we in quit the compromising of positions my dear.” Smirks your bard with a cheeky grin.

“One, Two, Thre..”

“Alright alright!” Whispers Jaskier as he quickly lifts himself off of you. He holds his hand out for you to take, ever the gentleman.

“You’re as blind as a bat, why did I let you come?”

“If not I would have annoyed you relentlessly for the next week, I’d even make a song about it. Let me think....my Y/N, she hissed at me like a cat and said I was as blind as a bat, she killed for coin and touches my loins ohhh I loveee..”

“I’ll shove a leave down your throat.”

“Jeesh alright touchy. I’ll behave, I promise. You will not hear another word from me.” He announces while pretending to zip his mouth shut.

“Yeah I’ve heard that before.” You retort while turning around and heading in the direction of the thieves camp, Jaskier holding onto your cloak and trying his hardest to stay silent.

The both of you walk for another ten minutes before you begin to hear laughter and the familiar scent of cooked deer roasting over a spit. Then your eyes spot a flicker of light through the dull color of the woods, a solid indicator of where these idiots are camped. You signal your discovery to Jaskier who nods and urges you onward. You take cautious steps as you get closer, you can see the men gathered around a blazing fire, small tents behind them, and their weapons by their feet. No horses unfortunately.

“Stay here and don’t draw any attention to yourself I’m gonna kill them and then take their valuables.”

“Isn’t that stealing?”

“Not if their dead Jask.”

“Huh. Yeah that sounds about right.”

You turn back around, slowly sliding out your dagger from within its sheath as you cautiously stalk closer to the oblivious men. Without warning you lunge at the closest one, slitting his throat from ear to ear as you stab your weapon into the next one who didn’t even have time to stand. You turn around, quickly jumping over the burning fire as you plunge your dagger straight into the eye of the next unlucky fellow to cross your path. Suddenly an arrow lodged itself into your right shoulder with a sickening thwack sound. You turn towards the terrified bowmen, a flash of anger shining through your eyes as they catch sight of the local wanted rapist. You flick your hand with ease, your instrument of death slicing deep into his vulnerable chest. He drops his bow and arrow as a trail of blood begins dripping out of his parted lips. His eyes are as big as saucers when he abruptly lets out a pained gasp, falling to the forest floor in a slump of limbs.

You swivel your head around the entire camp once again, not wanting to miss anything or anyone who might have escaped. Not a sound is heard but the rapid thudding of Jaskier’s heartbeat from behind a bush. Your ears prick at the gargled mumble of the scruffy looking rapist who just shot you. Oh right, you still have an arrow stuck into your side, must be the adrenaline. 

Taking care of that problem you pull it out, accidentally snapping it off before the pointy end has a chance to properly come out. Shit. Ignoring the dull throbbing in your shoulder, you focus your attention on the slowly dying man in front of you. Leaning down, you pull out your silver dagger, wiping the blood off on his clean sleeve before putting it back in your sheath.

“B..bi..bitch.” He mumbles through ragged breaths. You give him a sneer before crushing his jugular with your boot, another cockroach squashed.

“Y/N! That was bloody brilliant. They never even saw you coming.” Gushes Jaskier as he parts the bushes so he can jog over to you.

“Well that was the intention. Uh, look for any coin...I’ll look in their bags.” He currently nods, turning to do just that, he stops dead in his tracks at a large angry balding man across from the dying campfire.

“Uh, Y/N you may have missed one.”

Snapping your head of to Jaskier you turn to the angry huff of a monster of a man who’s glaring dagger at you and your bard. Suddenly the man lets out a loud battle cry as he charges with his axe towards Jaskier and you. 

“Oh fuck.” Gasps Jaskier as you swiftly race to his side while throwing your outstretched arm in front of him. A furious blast of orange and yellow flames emitting from your palms and straight into the bulking thief, he lets out a blood curdling scream as the flames lick up his sides. Burning him alive within seconds, he falls to the ground as he thrashes and groans. Not even fifteen seconds later has he finally stopped moving, all that's left of him is a blackened charred body staining the once green grass of the clearing. 

 “Well...uh...that’ll do it.” Breaths out Jaskier as you turn to him, dissipating away the flames from your hand as you do so.

“I hope he didn’t have any coin on him, shit.”

----

The two of you walk back into camp, the fires gone to embers and Geralt is promptly snoozing in the grass while Roach nibbles at some leaves on the nearby tree. You walk over to your satchel, picking it up to stuff the concealed bundles of coin you were able to find earlier. Jaskier goes to sit down by the dimly glowing campfire as he watches you intently. You drop the old bag onto the ground with a clinky thud, deciding it best to take off your cloak and leather armored chest piece. Leaving your top half in a grey sleeveless shirt, you let out a tired sigh of relief.

“Oh..uh Y/N...you’re kinda bleeding.”

“Huh?”

“Your shoulder. Oh come here let me have a look.” States Jaskier firmly, already scooting himself in the grass so you can sit down in front of him. Not wanting to argue, and now fully well aware of the fresh arrow head still stuck in your shoulder, you oblige and sit down right next to him. He carefully touches your bare shoulder, a concentrated look on his handsome face as he studies the bloody slice in your skin.

“You’ve got an arrow stuck in there...it’s almost out but...uh...it may hurt when I force it out.” He says, his eyebrows furrowing to together in concern.

“Do your worst.”

He nods, giving you a crooked smile as he takes out a small dagger from under his bedroll. You look up to the stars as you brace yourself for the coming pain. Suddenly cool metal is placed delicately onto your skin, then it’s quickly pressed deeper into your flesh. You bite your lip as Jaskier slices open your wound even more so he can get a better grasp onto the arrow head. Finally he finds it, pulling on the broken piece of wood attached to the silver arrow and out it goes. 

“That’s gonna be a nasty one. The bloke must’v stuck you with a silver arrow...those things are sharp.” Chimes the bard as you stop his hand from covering your cut with some cloth. 

“Let me cauterize it first, heals quicker that way.” He sets his hands down and watches intently as you conjure a tiny flame from your two fingers, carefully dragging it across your wound as you hold the pain in, it melts and fuses the parted skin together as you can smell the nasty scent of burning skin and bubbling blood.

“Well at least this little midnight raid seemed like a success...those fuckers were loaded with coin. By gods Y/N we’re gonna have the best horse and...hmm I’m just imagining all the wine we could snag while we’re still near town.” He says while raising an eyebrow to you.

You roll your eyes as he then carefully wraps your shoulder in spare cloth, you turn yourself around to face him fully now. The both of you sitting together in the grass as the remainder of the fire glows lowly in the warm summer air. Jaskier gives you a smile as he adjusts the sleeves of his shirt. “You wouldn’t mind sharing a spot in the grass with your loyal bard now would you?”

“Not at all.” You reply with a yawn, Jaskier flashes you an excited grin as he pats at the soft ground, making the two of you a makeshift bed. 

Once satisfied with his work he lays himself down, looking up to you with those big blue eyes of his, pleading for you to join him. Tired and in need of a good cuddle you curl up into his side as he throws an arm around your waist. Careful as not to touch your injured shoulder in the process, your eyes lock with his as a bright smile plants itself onto both of your faces.

“Well if you aren’t the most radiant creature I’ve ever met. Oh and best part...you’re all mine.” Whispers Jaskier as he lightly kisses your nose, you let out a tiny giggle in reply, ever grateful for this tuneful idiot and the fact that Geralt is in a deep sleep.

“I took an arrow for you, when we get to the next tavern you better show me how radiant I really am.” Jaskier let’s out an amused snort before kissing you in an attempt at making you feel better for the arrow wound. You kiss him back, not being able to resist his charms for much longer, even if your shoulder still feels sore as it slowly heals underneath the cloth.

[beautifultypewriter]

Sir Leon Fluff Alphabet

Requested: Yes / by my other fav @taletime and a couple of anons

Warnings: None

Full credit to whoever created this template (I still don’t actually know who that is). Gif credit to the owner. Also, I changed the prompt for letter Q from quaint to quickstep.

A = Attractive (What do they find attractive about the other?)

Your kind nature is everything to Leon. The way that you’ll drop everything to help your friends and family whenever they need you, the way you’ll go out of your way to help a stranger, the way you treat animals, it all is so beautiful to Leon. He thinks you’re an amazing person and he’s so happy to be able to know you and to call you his.

B = Baby (Do they want a family? Why/Why not?)

Leon wants 10 babies with you. He loves you so much and there is nothing he wants more than to start a family with you. He wants to teach his children how to ride horses and how to shoot crossbows. He wants to sit around the dinner table, looking at all their smiling faces, and holding his youngest on his lap. The house is so full of love and everything is wonderful because the two of you take such good care of your children.

C = Cuddle (How do they cuddle?)

Leon is big. He takes up a lot of space, so you usually end up curled into him. He loves to be the big spoon, so you often lay together, your back against his chest and his arms wrapped around you. The two of you often fall asleep like this and wake up in the exact same position the next morning. Most of your cuddling takes place at night as the two of you are trying to fall asleep, but if one of you has a bad day then cuddling is definitely a go to in order to lift the other’s spirits. Leon also really loves to come up behind you and wrap his arms around you while you’re working on something around the house and just cuddle you for a minute before he has to go out for his rounds.

D = Dates (What are dates with them like?)

Dates with Leon are always intimate and special. He likes to bring you outside of Camelot’s walls and set up a picnic for the two of you. He does all the preparations on his own, wanting to make everything special. The two of you will spend hours laying on the blanket after you’ve eaten, just talking and looking at the clouds. Leon tells you his favorite stories and the two of you talk about the future until the sun starts to set. Then the two of you ride slowly back to Camelot, not wanting the night to end.

E = Everything (You are my ____ (e.g. my life, my world…))

One and only

You are the first person that Leon has ever been in love with. You are the only one who has ever made him feel what he feels for you and it’s the most wonderful feeling. He knows that you’re it for him and he couldn’t ask for anything more.

F = Feelings (When did they know they were in love?)

Leon knew he was in love with you when the two of you went to watch the sunset together for the first time. You had surprised him that evening by meeting him after his rounds with a large picnic basket in your hands and a blanket thrown over your arm. With few words exchanged, you led Leon out to a spot high on one of the castle walls. You spread the blanket out and the two of you sat down. You ate and talked quietly as the sun fell to the horizon. The glow of the sunset bounced off your profile as you watched it. Leon stared at you, completely captivated by the glow of your skin and the only thought in his mind was that he wanted to watch every sunset after this with you.

G = Gentle (Are they gentle? If so, how?)

A gentle giant. Leon is a sweetheart who is always gentle with you. His movements are always slow and purposeful. His touch is light and careful. As a knight, Leon is capable of many things, but he would never bring those things to you. He always takes care when he’s with you, holding you close to him and running his fingers lightly over your skin. Yes, Leon is very gentle.

H = Hands (How do they like to hold hands?)

Leon is not big on holding hands when the two of you are out and about. He prefers to loop his arm with yours and walk around the market or through the garden like that. He does however really love to hold your hand when the two of you are sitting together. Sometimes he doesn’t even realize that he’s doing it, his hand just automatically reaches for yours when the two of you sit together on a bench or when you sit at the table for meals. When the two of you sit outside on a nice day, he likes to hold one of your hands in both of his as he faces you, listening to you talk about your day or about some plans for the future. And he traces his thumbs over your knuckles.

I = Impression (What was their first impression?)

Leon’s first impression of you was that you had to be of noble blood. You were too unbelievably perfect to have not been raised by nobility. The way you moved had him captivated and he was sure that you had spent your childhood in etiquette lessons in order to achieve such grace and such a sense of easiness.  

J = Jealousy (Do they get jealous?)

No. Leon is pretty secure in your relationship and he doesn’t get threatened by other people getting close to you. He knows that you’re friendly and he knows that you have an aura that people really like, so you always get wrapped up in easy conversations with people wherever the two of you go. Leon has no problem with that. It’s actually one of the things he loves most about you. He may join in on a conversation, but it’s not as a way to assert dominance or possession, it’s because he genuinely wants to be near you and be part of the conversation. If you’re out at the tavern and he notices that someone is getting too close and you’re uncomfortable then he’ll intervene, making sure that the person leaves you alone.

K = Kiss (How do they kiss? Who initiated the first kiss?)

Leon’s kisses are so soft and full of love. He’s very gentle when it comes to you and that translates in his kisses.

You initiated the first kiss. Leon is so very sweet, and he would never want to rush you or make you feel uncomfortable, so he takes things very slow. Honestly, you were starting to get a bit impatient and while you loved the cheek kisses, you were ready for something more. Your plan had been to sit him down and talk about how he could speed some things up, but as soon as he smiled at you, you were pushing yourself up and pressing your lips against his. He was shocked at first, but he melted into you as your hands pressed against his chest and his own hands fell to your waist. When you pulled away, you smiled at him and told him to feel free to return the favor whenever he pleased, and he did… quite often.

L = Love (Who says ‘I love you’ first?)

He does. It was one of those nights where the two of you were still cuddled up in the grass after having watched the sunset together. Leon had a night shift and he only had a few minutes before he had to get going, but he was finding it difficult to leave you. The words kept getting caught in his throat, he could feel them there, wanting to get out, but he was nervous about saying them. You had pulled away from him, standing and shaking him from his thoughts. He had given you a confused look and you giggled as you told him that he was about to be late. He smiled up at you, grasping your hand in his, “I don’t care. Not when I’m with the one I love.” Your eyes widened and he nodded, “I love you, Y/N.” He gently pulled you back to the ground and wrapped his arms around you, pressing a kiss to your head. You smiled again, saying that you loved him too.

M = Memory (What’s their favourite memory together?)

The other knights, Arthur, Gwen, and Merlin are Leon’s family. He cares deeply for them and it’s important to him that everyone get along. His favorite memory is of the first time you met everyone at the tavern. Leon was supposed to spend the night with you, but the others were pestering him to come down to the tavern for a drink or two. He had made up excuses, but Percival told him to just bring you along, an idea that Gwaine immediately latched onto, claiming that he was dying to meet the one who had captured Sir Leon’s heart. Leon had little choice, so when he met up with you, he asked if you wanted to head down to the tavern. You agreed and as you stepped into the dim lighting, you were bombarded by men in red cloaks. You had handled it well, fielding each question with a smile. Gwen and Merlin had been more tame and you clicked with them instantly. Leon watched you drink and laugh with his friends and later when he walked you home, you told him about how you had such a great time that you wanted to do it again. It was such a wonderful and warm night where his two worlds collided so perfectly.

N = Nickel (Do they spoil? Do they buy the person they love everything?)

Leon loves to give you gifts, but they’re always small things likes flowers or pretty rocks that he finds. Whenever he has to leave Camelot for a special mission, you can expect some kind of gift upon his return. He always says the same thing when he presents you with said gift, “It reminded me of you.” And then he hands you a beautiful flower or a carved piece of wood. You cherish every gift he gives you and you have a special box where you keep them all.

O = Orange (What colour reminds them of their other half?)

Forest Green

You are tranquil and relaxing. You are the forest outside the walls of the kingdom. You are everywhere he goes when he can’t be next to you. You bring a balance and harmony to Leon’s life that he hadn’t realized he had been missing.

P = Pet names (What pet names do they use?)

Leon calls you’ honey’ because you’re just so sweet. When he returns home, he kisses your forehead, mumbling, “Hello, honey.” You love when he calls you ‘honey’ and part of you wishes he would do it in public more, but he usually keeps pet names private. He once made the mistake of calling you ‘honey’ in front of the other knights and Gwaine teased him mercilessly for a week.

Q = Quickstep (How do they feel about dancing?)

Leon is not the most graceful dancer, but it doesn’t stop him from spinning you around the floor at a feast. He likes doing the traditional dances with you even if he stumbles a bit because that just makes it more fun. You giggle at him and he grins back at you. As much as he loves this funny dancing, he loves slow dancing even more. He’s a bit more coordinated when the movements slow down, and they aren’t so choreographed. He also really loves having you close to him as you sway back and forth.

R = Rainy Day (What do they like to do on a rainy day?)

Rain doesn’t stop the Knights of Camelot. Leon still has to do his rounds even if he’d rather be curled up with you in bed, so he leaves that morning with a kiss to your forehead. You know that he’s going to be a bit grumpy and probably a little wet when he returns. You stoke the fire, making sure the room is nice and warm for him and you run to the kitchens to get some food and a nice warm drink for him. When Leon stumbles into the room, his hair wet and his clothes practically soaked through, you’re quick to push him behind the privacy screen and throw some dry clothes at him. He changes quickly before joining you in bed. The two of you sit close together while he eats and drinks. You ask him about his rounds, and he tells you about all the mundane things that happened. He thanks you for the food and drink and for being so good to him. The two of you spend the rest of the day curled up together.

S = Sad (How do they cheer themselves/others up?)

When Leon is sad, he likes to talk things out. He prefers sitting in a quiet place and talking about what’s troubling him and he loves when you give him advice or tell him a story to help him feel better. When you’re sad, the first thing Leon does is hug you. He wraps you up in his arms and kisses the top of your head. Then he offers to take you on a walk and as the two of you stroll along together, he picks every beautiful flower he sees and gives it to you until you’ve got a whole bouquet and a smile on your face.

T = Talking (What do they like to talk about?)

Leon loves to talk with you. A lot of the time the two of you spend together is spent talking about anything and everything. The two of you talk about the past and you talk about the future. Leon loves to hear about your childhood because he feels like he’s learning about what contributed to the person you are today, and he loves that. You beg him to tell you all his most daring stories and he blushes a bit, but he obliges, telling you about the most intense quests he’s been on with Arthur and the other knights.

U = Unencumbered (What helps them relax?)

Long walks. Leon likes to move, so he finds that walking is a big comfort to him. If he’s worked up or stressed about something, he’ll often say he’s going for a walk and then go through the market place or outside the walls and just stroll through the forest for a few hours. If you’re around when he leaves then you’ll join him. He loves it when you do because the added comfort of your presence helps him relax further.

V = Vaunt (What do they like to show off? What are they proud of?)

Leon doesn’t show off. It’s just not who he is, it’s not something he’s ever felt the need to do. He knows his skills and that’s good enough for him. He doesn’t need to go around bragging about them. When you ask him why he doesn’t ever try to show off at tournaments or trainings, he says it’s because that sort of behavior is not very becoming of a knight. Then you point out that Arthur shows off all the time and his only answer is that Arthur is the prince. You shake your head and decide not to bring up the other knights, instead choosing to tell Leon that you find his humble attitude endearing. He blushes and decides that he really likes your compliments, though he won’t say it out loud.

W = Wedding (When, how, where do they propose?)

When the time finally comes to pop the question, Leon takes you on a walk through the gardens in Camelot. He takes your arm with his and the two of you stand close together as you walk through the flowers and the trees. Leon points out the most beautiful flowers and says that they remind him of you. At some point your feet get tired, so Leon leads you over to one of the stone benches and the two of you sit together. His hand reaches for yours and he holds it tightly. Then he stares right into your eyes, tells you that he loves you, and asks you to marry him. You’re silent for a moment as he continues, telling you that you are the most wonderful person in the world and he wouldn’t survive a day without you and you cut him off with a kiss, nodding and mumbling ‘yes’ against his lips.  

X = Xylophone (What’s their song?)

This Kiss – Faith Hill

This song is so light and lovely that it perfectly captures your relationship with Leon. Every moment the two of you share is beautiful. When he presses his lips to yours, warmth blooms in your chest and you get this fuzzy feeling in your entire body. There’s a certain magic when the two of you kiss that sometimes you feel as if you’re floating. It’s just the way he loves you.

Y = Yes (Do they ever think of getting married/proposing?)

Most definitely. Leon is a family man and part of starting his own family is finding that special person to marry. Then he met you and everything seemed to fall into place. It didn’t take long for Leon to figure out that he wanted to marry you. He knew that he couldn’t just jump right into it though and he had to court you properly and give you time. Which he had no problem doing. Leon would wait a thousand years for you.

Z = Zebra (If they wanted a pet, what would they get?)

Leon isn’t really interested in pets. He knows the two of you are busy and you probably wouldn’t have enough time to take care of a pet. He does get you a horse though because he thinks horses are valuable companions and he thinks you should have one.

[diamondcamefromhell]

I wish I were her

geralt x fem!reader [as a gender-fluid person i swear i will try to write more gender neutral pairings in the future but writing ‘straight’ is easier for me as i spent most of my life dreaming strictly ‘straight’ when i idenfied as a girl and was in fucking narnia closet even from myself, sorry guys, gals and non-binary pals <3]

A/N: A LOT of shit is going on in my life, as is everyones, so I am not making a comeback yet babes, but i did get not sober and listen to heather just now and decided to write my first ever geralt fic, say whaaaaaaaaaaaat? i made him super soft and honeslty maybe a bit out of character but let a person dream okay either way

truly, i hope everyone is doing okay. the world sucks and i know people have personal problems to deal with. i hope youre okay. i hope this fic distracts you a little. I love you all. as much as a stranger can love a stranger which i believe is a lot, i fukcing love you.

Summary: Y/N has met both, Geralt and Jaskier before, but when they visit again things dont go as she expected

Warnings: violence, self-hate, blood, nsfw [but not explicit because hey hoe im a virgin]

Word Count: 2239

There was something about him she couldn’t quite place. She got lost in his eyes before and she would do it all over again. His touch left marks on her skin that seemed to burn whenever her mind wandered back to him. He changed her life forever and then he left. Only his songs were sung by other folk, pinging at her sides, reminder of those few nights he was hers. And she was his. Nothing else mattered then.

But he was a bard. A man with purpose, a man with goals. And she was just a farmgirl, no more special than any other person on the continent. She was sure that there was nothing this world had to offer her, and those moments of bliss were the best she will ever get.

Yet, when Jaskier and Geralt were passing by again, she jumped on her mare, going to the tavern in a heartbeat. Her anxiety was eating at her insides, making her shiver as she pushed the door open. Unpleasant smell of alcohol and sweat hit her, but when she saw him she got high on a different kind of drug.

But this one had no price.

His eyes were shining as he was smirking as his friend, who was brooding. Jaskier took a moment to look around, glazing over her as if she was nobody. Her heart banged in her ears as she took a few shaky steps towards the table. Loud noises coming from around her seemed to drown out when his eyes met hers. There was slight recognition, or she tried to tell herself that.

“Hello.” She managed. Geralt glanced at her, mumbling something under his breath, but her attention was elsewhere. Y/N eyes were drilling Jaskier, who furrowed his brows, smiling.

“Hello there.” He said cheerfully. His eyes looked somewhere behind her.

“Jaskier, right?” She asked, even though she knew. She knew exactly who he was and what his lips tasted on her and how they fit together like two pieces of a puzzle.

“Right. We’ve met before?” Y/N heart shattered a little, but she grabbed the broken bits, not letting them fall apart, holding it together.

“Awhile back, when you and Geralt stayed here. He was here on a contract for a wraith. You wrote a song for that one.” She rambled on, finally taking a breath in.

“Oh right!” His eyes were still glassy but he pointed at the seat. “Join us.”

“Jaskier.” Geralt grumbled, but still scooted over when she sat down. His yellow eyes seized her up. “Y/N.”

“You remember me?” The girl was taken back a little, the witcher was the one who hadn’t forgotten her. Not Jaskier. She blinked twice as Geralt didn’t respond, but rather looked at the bard.

“I remember you too, Y/N!” He argued battling Geralt’s gaze.

“How have you two been?” Underneath the table she clasped her hands together, only now realizing she’s sweating.

“Good, good. Lots of work to do around here, right Geralt?” There was nothing but silence coming from his companion. “He’s a bit shy, but you know that already.”

“Right.” Silence settled between them as Geralt downed his ale in one gulp, leaning back a little. He seemed to zone out, having a thousand-yard stare, his mind traveling elsewhere. Y/N looked away from him.

Jaskier was glancing around the tavern just as a server came up to them. Y/N seized her up, in her pretty dress and golden curls than bounced behind her back perfectly behind her back. Her smile was perfect, making Y/N fill with envy as she leaned over to Jaskier, exposing her cleavage to them all.

“Can I get you anything, sweetie?” She whispered as Y/N leaned back, swallowing hard.

She suddenly became aware of her tattered dress that had, what she hoped to be dirt, on it. Her hair was tied back but she haven’t brushed her hair today, so it most likely was a mess. She shifted, smelling pigs and sheep on herself. She became aware of all her flaws as if they were broadcasted to the world.

She wanted to burst into flames this very moment, becoming aware her cheeks are burning red. Suddenly the table became the most interesting thing in this tavern as she drowned out their conversation. She couldn’t listen. She couldn’t see. But when she lifted her eyes, the woman had sat down and Jaskier had one of his hands over her shoulder. He was laughing. The woman looked at Y/N.

“Hey, Y/N!” She, however, didn’t know the servers name, so all she could offer was a polite nod and a forced smile. “You look pretty tonight.”

“You do too, Amelie.” Jaskier said, before Y/N could respond. She dropped her gaze to the table as Amelie laughed. It sounded like bells in the wind, like a bird chirping. It was perfect. Y/N took a sharp breath in.

She zoned out again, not listening to Amelie and Jaskier again. She simply couldn’t. Geralt was looking at her, his eyebrows furrowed. He could tell Y/N was uncomfortable, he couldn’t understand why she simply didn’t leave. The girl chose to torture herself.

Amelia stood up, going back to her work, and only then did Y/N look up again, her expression different from before. Corners of her lips were turned down as she watched Jaskier look after Amelie, completely mesmerized.

“Jaskier.” Geralt called but Jaskier kept his eyes on the girl. Y/N shifted in her seat again, clasping her hands tighter.

Until she felt like she was going to burst. She stood up, muttering something under her breath. She tried not to run, but she couldn’t. She heard Amelie say something, but it didn’t matter. Nothing did. Her eyes burned as her mind kept replaying Jaskier wrapping his hands around other woman. He was not hers, and Y/N knew.

But her heart ached so much, she felt like her chest was about to rip apart. Her insides were burning and her head was spinning as she untied the horse, riding it into the moonlight. Y/N didn’t realize she just took Roach. She didn’t realize the rain had come down heavily on them. She didn’t realize she was crying.

She didn’t realize she was going right into the woods. Alone. At night.

Only when a wolf howled uncomfortably close, she stopped the horse in its tracks. It neighed uncomfortably as Y/N stared into the woods, until she heard a howl.

She ushered the horse just in time.  A pack of giant wolves jumped out as they rushed forward. Her heart was beating for a different reason. The rain was making it impossible to see as she held on for dear life. A moment later she shifted in the saddle and her leg hit a sword that was mounted on the horse.

She realized the mare wasn’t hers. With adrenaline pumping inside of her she tried to unbuckle the sword with one hand, while keeping the other one on the reigns. She struggled and the wolves were catching up. Her life was flashing before her eyes and the dread was filling in, but she knew she hadn’t lived enough yet.

She remembered Jaskiers kiss as vivid as if it was happening now, finally freeing the sword. It was heavier than she expected, throwing her off balance. Roach turned right too, unexpectedly skiting off the hill. The horse took a sharp turn, standing on its hind legs and Y/H hand slipped off the reigns. With a painful thud, she hid the ground.

Roach neighed in fear, rushing off into the woods. Y/N had to blink hard before she could see again, and when she did, her heart dropped. The wolves had her surrounded, their angry growls making hairs on her body stand up. She saw the sword dropped to her right. Out of reach. She was done. There was nothing she could do anymore.

She closed her eyes, hoping her death would be quick.

She heard a thud first. Then, something heavy dropped on her. Her eyes shot open and she saw a decapitated beast on her. Warm blood was soaking through her dress, sending shivers down her spine. Y/N only then sae Geralts back, and his sword drawn, a few more wolves laying in front of him.

The rest of the pack was slayed quickly too, as Y/N stared blankly, too scared to move. All she could smell was blood. As she could feel was fear and relief mixing inside of her. She didn’t like they made together. Her vision became blurry again. And when Geralt finally turned to face her again, she covered her mouth with one of her hands, tears streaming down her face.

Unexpected kindness shined from the witcher as he leaned down, pushing the wolf corpse off of her. His hand landed on her shoulder heavily. In response, she rushed into his arms. He just held her as she sobbed into his shoulder.

He wasn’t bothered by the rain that was drowning them both or that she reeked of blood or that he had just cleaned these clothes. He just held the girl, who almost seemed like a child, shaking in his arms, gripping onto him like he was the last straw holding her together.

“I’m sorry.” She finally managed, not pulling away. His hands around her tightened.

“Not your fault.” He rubbed her back gently as she took a few shaky breaths in.

“I didn’t mean to take Roach.” She leans away, meeting Geralts yellow eyes. He smiles.

“I followed you because you did. You’d be dead otherwise.” Y/N swallowed hard again, blinking back a new wave of tears. Geralt kept his arms around the girl, which she appreciated.

“Thank you.” Her voice broke.

Silence settled between them as Roach seemed to come back to them. It neighed, shaking its head as Geralt and Y/N stayed on the ground, in the dirt. Gazing at each other.

She saw warmth in his cat eyes. There was something welcoming and inviting in them, something that made her feel safe. Like a fireplace on a cold winter night. She felt okay. Nothing could hurt her as long as she was in his arms. She was sure of it.

“I am sorry you had to follow me here.” She breaks the silence, relaxing her body.

“I’m sorry you had to leave like that.” Geralt grows serious again. “Jaskier didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“I know.” Y/N closes her eyes now, feeling the rain roll down her back. “I just wish I was enough.”

“You are. For the right person.” Her lips shake a little as she leans forward, placing her forehead on his shoulder.

“I just want to be enough.” She whispers again, as Geralt gazes into the woods. His hands tighten around her. “Pretty enough. Nice enough. Just enough to be loved. Enough to be remembered.”

“I didn’t forget you.” Geralt reminds sending a electric wave through her body. She sniffles, opening her eyes, staring at her hands.

“You didn’t.” He now grabs her shoulders pushing her away. They lock eyes, as she is suddenly drawn to his honey.

“And I wont.” Her heart skips a beat as she thinks he might lean in for a kiss. She is ready. She wants him to do it, but instead, he stands up, dragging her up with him. “Let’s get you dried up.”

She remains silent as the witcher drops her on Roach, jumping behind her. He takes the reigns, and so does she, her hands still shaking. She leans back into his chest, feeling his breathing as he guides Roach back towards the tavern.

Y/N is sure she hears wolves howl in the distance but she closes her eyes and feels safe with Geralt sitting behind her, steady and unmovable like a wall. Unbreakable.

Once she opens her eyes, they are back. He helps her down the horse, holding onto her as they enter the tavern, but this time, he guides her up to stairs. The room they entered was a bedroom, but Geralt guided her to a bathroom where a warm bath seemed to be ready.

Y/N looked at Geralt who had taken his shirt off. He glanced at her.

“You’re going to bathe with your bloody dress?” She felt a rush go though her body. Her lips curled.

She dropped her, standing there uncovered in front of him. His lips curled as he dropped the remains of his clothes. They didn’t stare at each other for an uncomfortable amount of time, but just enough for their eyes light up with hunger.

They stepped in the bath, warmth surrounding them as Geralt placed his hands on the sides of the bath, towering over Y/N, who was half underwater. His eyes were eating her up as his muscles tensed up.

“You’re pretty.” He said.

“Shut up.” She flushed, going underwater to avoid his gaze.

She didn’t expect him to follow, but he did, pressing her to the bottom. His lips found hers, breathing in the air her lungs craved. He wrapped his arms around her, dragging them both from underwater. The kiss didn’t split.

And there Y/N was, surrounded my candlelight, electricity running over her body again, drowning in honey and metal. She felt whole again, she felt safe. She felt loved and important, she felt seen when he locked eyes with her.

She wasn’t Amelia, no. But Y/N was herself.

And she was enough.

******************************

A/N [again]:  i lost the plot at the end im sorry i had a whole ass bottle of wine and i got super saddo towards it so yikes, hope you still enjoy, requests are open ofc but it might take me two years to get to it and im not kidding okay luvs i love yall bue

[genshinfanboy]

Time To Take a break.

|Hello everyone. Somehow I got fans. That's pretty cool. I have two more people for myself indulgent one-shots. So the two requests I have please forgive me for a bit longer. Also it seems as if everyone is simping for Childe and wants angst for him. This one-shot will be for Diluc and a cryo user male reader. Kaeya will also like the reader for this one but his feelings won't be returned. Like always you may change the pronouns to fit your own. Spoiler warning for a bit in the manga. Please enjoy.

Diluc x Cryo Male reader x one-sided Kaeya.

----------------------------------------------------

(Y/N) was a traveler who hadn't been to his home in Monstadt for a few months. He was making his way home. Hoping to see Master Diluc and Master Kaeya. He knew Diluc his entire life. He was a bit younger than Diluc by two years. When they were kids no one could seperate them. His parents had worked at the Dawn Winery his whole life which is why he grew up in one of the servant quarters. Around the age of 15 he had become a helper around the manor. He got into a bit of a habit of calling Diluc and Kaeya master after that point. Diluc seems a bit annoyed because of the habit. When he turned 18 he left the Dawn Winery to be come an adventure. He made a promise to always visit Diluc and Kaeya whenever he came back to Monstadt. He would be lying if he said he didn't have feeling for Diluc. The older male always made his heart skip a beat. When Kaeya joined their duo with his teasing (Y/N) learned how to easily maintain his blush. He always admired how much Diluc did for their beloved Monstadt. He decided he was going to surprised the red haired male later and went to the knight's of Favonious headquarters. He smile and waved at the knights at the door. They exchanged greetings before (Y/N) went in to find Kaeya. He ran into Noel and greeted her. He asked if she had seen Kaeya anywhere. "Oh yes I think I saw Sir Kaeya heading towards the cathedral. Would you like me to go fetch him for you?" She asked with a smile. He shook his head no. "I'll go find him myself thank you for the information Noel. Remember to take care of yourself." (Y/N) said patting her head with a smile. She had leaned into the touch before waving bye. He started making his way up the stairs. Sure enough he had seen Kaeya infront of the statue of Barbados. He had something in his hands. (Y/N) walked behind him and covered Kaeya's visible eye. "Guess who?" He quickly said to make sure Kaeya doesn't think he's under attack. "Hmm if I had to guess it would be someone who I love to tease and grew up with. Oh but we aren't that close anymore because he decided to leave Monstadt. I had to find a new best friend." Kaeya said with a teasing tone. He gave a laugh. He's liked the other for awhile now but knew he had no chance compared to Diluc. If he could steal (Y/N) from his adoptive brother he'd do so in a heart beat. Kaeya removed the hand from his eye and turned around. He was still holding the other's hand. He brought it up to his lips and gave it a quick kiss. "What do I owe the pleasure of this meeting to?" He asked with his signature smirk. (Y/N) shook his head with a laugh at the action. "Your flirting won't work on me. You should know better by now. I have a few people sending me commissions in Monstadt. So I've returned home for a bit. What do you got?" He asked pointing to the small package. Kaeya listened intently. "I'm glad your home. Perhaps you could help me deal with something. People around town have noticed Diluc looking rather pale and not the best in health. Charles in particular has been worried that he's sick and overworking himself. I told him I'd take care of it. So I went to Barbara to get some medicine. Then I started thinking who I should send to give it to Diluc. If I went I'm sure we'd end up in a fight. It would also be much more interesting to send you." Kaeya explained. (Y/N) listened to Kaeya's request. He looked a little worried about Diluc. He overworked himself to the point of illness when his father passed. The younger male never wanted to see Diluc like that again. "Leave it to me Kaeya. I'll make sure He rests and gets better." (Y/N) said with a determined look. "I'm guessing you don't want your name mentioned Kaeya?" He got his hair messed up in response. "Always one step ahead of what I'm thinking (Y/N) I don't want to cause a conflict. Let me know when he is better." Kaeya said before walking off. Sometimes he wish the younger male would've fallen for him instead.

(Y/N) made his way to Angels Share to make sure Diluc wasn't working at the Tavern. He peaked his head in and saw Charles behind the counter. He gave a sigh of relief. "Hey Charles is Master Diluc at the Winery?" He asked with a smile. "From what I know he is. I wish he'd stay there. He is planning on coming in later. Everyone has tried telling him to stay home. He refused to listen to anyone though. You might be able to keep him down to rest. I asume that you're not going let him come here? At this point I'm sure who is more stubborn. You or Master Diluc." Charles said with a sigh. (Y/N) gave a small laugh. "We'll see if I can make him stay in bed." He said before waving bye. After a bit he had made it to Dawn Winery. He greeted several people he knew from when he worked there. He saw the head maid and asked where Diluc was. He was a bit relieved to hear that master Diluc was in his room but also worried because he was getting ready to do vigilante things. He informed her that he'd take care of him. He made his way upstairs to Diluc's room he knocked on the door. He wanted to make sure the older male wasn't in the middle of changing. "For the last time I am going and you can't stop me." Was heard from the other side. (Y/N) walked in. "You look awful Master Diluc. I will stop you if I have to. Charles told me that you were sick and I got worried. I wanted to check on you. Why are you pushing yourself so much?" The younger male said crossing his arms. Diluc looked surpised to see (Y/N) there. "I have too much to do. The Abyss Order has been super present. It's no time to worry about a small cold." Diluc stated not looking the other in the eyes. "Your body is just going to get weaker and weaker the more you continue like this Master Diluc. For one night would you be willing to leave the matters to the knights? I know you dont want to think about that idea but please do it for one night." The younger male asked. Diluc gave a sigh. He fixed his gloves and got ready to head out. "I'll be fine (Y/N) I am always fine. You're welcome to rest here if you'd like. Coming back from Liyue must've been tiresome. Also just call me Diluc. You've known me your entire life. There is no need to use master before my name." He stated before he ended in a coughing fit. He walked past the other heading towards the door after the fit was over. He was almost to the door when he felt two arms wrap around his torso holding him in place. "Diluc please I'm begging you. I don't want to see you collapse. I already had to see it once. I never want it to happen again. If you can't trust all of the knights at least trust Jean. One day is all I'm asking of you. We haven't seen each other in a year and I come back to find out that you are ill. I care too much about you to let you destroy yourself. I fell in love with you forever ago. If you don't return my feelings it's whatever but I will not stand by idly and watch you destroy yourself. If you won't rest willing then I'll use for if I have to. I know you're not one for physical interaction but holding you like this is the only way I can think of to get you to stay. " (Y/N) said holding onto him tightly. He saw Diluc turn his head to look at him and saw reluctance in his eyes. Diluc stood there for a moment thinking he was sure (Y/N) could feel his heart beat. "Fine one day." He muttered with a deep sigh.

(Y/N) gave a relieved smile. He let go of Diluc and watched him take his coat off. "Get your sleepwear on and I'll get you some water to take a bit of medicine." He said with a soft tone. He walked out to get some water for the other. Diluc felt his face heat up as he changed. He felt his exhaustion finally catching up with him. He didn't realize how tired his body was until then. He laid down to wait for (Y/N) to come back. He'll just sneak out later when the other was asleep. He waited a few minutes before his eyes started feeling really heavy. Before he knew it his was asleep. (Y/N) had decided to make Diluc some soup. He saw the relief in the servants eyes when he came downstairs grinning proudly. He wondered how long Diluc pushed himself for. He gave yet another sigh as he finished making the soup. He came back to Diluc's room and saw him asleep. He set the soup down on a table and walked over. He placed a hand on the other's forehead. He frowned the temperature was definitely higher than normal. The other was always warm compared to (Y/N). He wondered if it was because of their visions. He activated his cryo vision lightly in his hand on Diluc's head. He didn't want Diluc over heating. He was going to be taking care of the man he loved for hours. He knew Diluc pushed his body way to hard. He stayed by Diluc's side for hours taking care of him. He would tend to Diluc whenever he woke up in a feverish fit. Sometime in the middle of the night he fell asleep resting part of his body on the bed beside Diluc. The next morning Diluc woke up feeling groggy. He didn't remember much of yesterday. When he started waking up more He felt a bit more weight on his bed than usual. He quickly sat up in a panic before he saw his childhood friend next to him. Did the idiot not take care of his own needs? He started recollecting his thoughts from the day before and remembered that (Y/N) literally confessed to him. He also remembers a cooling sensation on his head at points when he was sleeping. He noticed his friend's vision and how close (Y/N)'s hand was to him. He cooled him down all night with his vision. His face matched his eyes and hair at this point. He felt shifting beside him and looked over worried. (Y/N) woke up looking around a bit disoriented for a second. Then he noticed Diluc sitting up. He instantly woke up. "Diluc how are you feeling?" He asked seeming worried. "I'm fine thanks to you. I have a question. Did you mean it when you said you loved me?" Diluc asked once again looking away from the younger male. He heard a bit of laughter and felt his heart sink a bit. Was that just a joke? He felt more weight right next to him. He glanced over to find the (H/C) haired male sitting next to him. "Of course I did. I can't believe you didn't notice from my years of obviously crushing on you since I was 15. When you became the Calvary captain I was swooning for you. Everyone else knew. Kaeya used to tease me about it constantly. When I left for Liyue I told you that there was something important I had to say when I returned. It was my feelings towards you. The question is do you feel the same about me and would you be mine?" He asked leaning slightly into Diluc's personal space. He just got a small nod. Which put the biggest grin on the younger male's he wrapped his arms around Diluc's shoulders and kissed his cheek. "Then would you rest a bit more for me?" He wanted to make sure Diluc recovered completely. He was fond of the dark blush on the older male's cheeks. It was definitely a rare sight to see and he loved it. He got a nod and hug in return.

|Thanks for reading.

[magictaverntranscripts]

Episode 6 - The Vermilion Minotaur

[static] Mysterious Man: The following podcast is not real. But it is really sponsored by Field Notes Brand. USA-made memo books and other products, including seasonal limited editions. Visit fieldnotesbrand.com, or 400 North May. [static] [theme music] Arnie: Hello From the Magic Tavern! [trill] Arnie: A weekly podcast from the magical land of Foon. I'm your host, Arnie Niekamp, I'm from Chicago. If you haven't listened to the podcast before, here's a real quick explanation of what's happened. A few weeks ago, about a month ago, I fell through a dimensional rift behind a Burger King, into this magical land called Foon. Luckily, I'm still getting a slight wifi signal from the Burger King, I guess through the dimensional rift. And so I'm hosting a weekly podcast from a tavern in Foon. The tavern is called the vermilion Minotaur, and I'm actually very excited this week that I've been able to talk the tavern owner into being a guest on the podcast. And we'll get to you in a second, but first I want to, uh, introduce my...mostly weekly co-host, Chunt, the talking badger.

Chunt: And your roommate. Hey, how's it going, Arnie? Arnie: And my roommate, exactly. You've been very kind to let me stay with you. Chunt: No worries, yeah, no worries. Arnie: I've been there for almo-, over a month. Chunt: Yeah. It's flown by. Arnie: And uh, Usidore the wizard is here... Chunt: Do you have sarcasm in...your world? Arnie: [laughs] Yes, yes. Chunt: Oh, 'cause I said, "It's flown by" but I...was [trailing off] being sarcastic. Arnie: You were being sarcastic. Chunt: Yeah. Arnie: Okay. I'm sorry. Chunt: No, I was- Arnie: Do you want me to not...have I been staying there too long? Chunt: I'd rather you- I'd rather know that you're with me and safe, then out somewhere else wandering around, but... Arnie: I w-, 'Cause I have like, nothing. I have no money- Otok: We have plenty of open rooms. Arnie: You have plenty of open rooms here? Otok: We do! Arnie: Well, why don't we go ahead and introduce our guest. Otok: Oh, sorry. Arnie: Our guest, uh, why don't you introduce yourself? Otok: Uh...[sighs as Usidore's voice gets increasingly louder in the background] Arnie: Oh, I'm sorry... Usidore: [eventually shouting]...and Shadow, Manipulator of Magical Delights, Devourer of Chaos, Champion of the Great Halls of Terr'akkas. The elves know me as Fi’ang Yalok! The dwarves know me as Zoenen Hoogastangs. Arnie: [somewhat sadly] Hoobastank. Usidore: And I am known in the Northeast as Gaismunēnas Meistar. You...[fades out again] Arnie: U- Otok: Uh- Arnie: Usidore is here, he's just wandering ar- I think he's drunk. I think he's wandering around trying- Chunt: Mm-hmm. Arnie: -to get people on his quest. Otok: Fi'ang Yalok is here nearly every night of the week. Arnie: Oh, so you refer to h- you know him as Fi'ang Yalok? Otok: Oh, I'm sorry yeah, well, I'm half. Half, half-elf. Arnie: Oh, you're half-elf? Otok: Right. Arnie: Wow, okay, all right, I'm sorry- Otok: So it's just habit. Arnie: Please introduce yourself. Otok: Um, I'm sorry. Otok Barleyfoot, owner and operator of the Vermilion Minotaur. Chunt: Mm-hmm. Otok: It's a family-run business. Arnie: I'm so excited to have you on. 'Cause I've been hosting this podcast every week since I've gotten here. I love the vermilion Minotaur, it's a cool- Otok: Thank you. Arnie: -tavern, and lots of adventurers and different people come through here. Otok: I hope you've tried our spiced potatoes! Arnie: I hav- I haven't. I haven't tried the spiced potatoes. Otok: [sighs] Okay. Arnie: I'm not a big...I'm not a big starch guy? Otok: All right. Chunt: If I were to look at you, I'd say you're a big starch guy. [laughs] Arnie: [laughs] Chunt, are you okay? I feel like maybe I'm upsetting you. Chunt: I'm a little high st-, I'm a little high-strung, okay? I'm a little high-strung. I just came from a session. I had a- Arnie: You- Chunt: Do you- Are you familiar with fetishes? Do you know what fetishes are? Arnie: Yes. Chunt: I make a little- whenever I change into a new animal, I'm currently a badger, I've been a badger for a little while. Uh...there's a group of people who will pay me to pose... Arnie: Uh-huh. Chunt: For a fetish, and I- they have me, I"ll like grubs or something, and they'll watch me eat grubs, or- Arnie: Uh-huh. Chunt: I'll wear just like, a wet t-shirt that says like, uh, "Kiss the Chunt" or something like that. Arnie: Oh... Otok: It's the underbelly of... Chunt: Yeah. Otok: Hogsface. Arnie: Yeah, there's a- Chunt: "Got Chunt", so I mean it's just- Arnie: Got Chu- oh, yeah. Chunt: There's a certain select group who are into watching me in whatever state I'm in do...certain deeds. Arnie: Yeah, I guess that explains why that explains why that one day, you came home with a wet t-shirt that said, "Chunt Hardly Wait"... Chunt: [laughs] Arnie: [laughs] Chunt: Yeah, I don't know why I wrote that, I don't know what was coming into my mind, but, "Chunt Hardly Wait". Arnie: But I'm sorry, I'd like to get back to our guest. So, I love the vermilion Minotaur- Otok: Thank you. Arnie: So tell me a little bit about the establishment. Otok: Well, as you can see, it's um, it's carved out of the base of a barleywood tree. Arnie: Ooo. Otok: Right at the edge of McShingleshane forest. Arnie: [laughing] Uh-huh. Otok: It was carved out- Arnie: I was wondering what the name of that forest was. Otok: Oh, McShingleshane. Arnie: Yeah. Otok: And so, my family took it over right from the beginning- Arnie: Uh-huh. Otok: -Called it the Vermilion Minotaur because of the old vermilion minotaur legend. Arnie: Wh- what is the Legend of the Vermilion Minotaur? Chunt: Ooo, let me...I'm gonna' blow out some candles here. Arnie: Ooo, wow, it's spooky! Chunt: Set the mood, I'm gonna' set the mood. Otok: Thank you. Thank you, Chunt. Chunt used to work here, so we have a pretty good- Arnie: I did not know that! Otok: -relationship. Chunt: Yep. Otok: Yeah. Chunt: Every once in a while I'll bounce here. Depending on the size of the animal, I'll be a bouncer. Arnie: Wow. Chunt: But if I'm [chuckles] if I'm a caterpillar or something, I'll probably just...[laughs] stay inside. Arnie: [laughs] Otok: Back in the kitchen. Chunt: Yeah. Arnie: Is it safe for a caterpillar in the kitchen? Chunt: I usually just wrap a cocoon around myself. Otok: Yeah. Arnie: So, the Vermilion Minot- the, uh- Otok: The Vermilion Minot-, ah yes, the Legend of the Vermilion Minotaur, um, is of course the old story when the, um, the...countess' baby, um, was trapped in the forest. And eight vermilion minotaurs invited the baby into their labyrinth. Arnie: Uh-huh. Otok: And then, the heavens rained down, and then...the horses came... Arnie and Chunt: [laughing quietly] Arnie: This is a very- I'm having a- Otok: I'm not a good- You know- Arnie: It's hard to parse this, this legend! Chunt: It's, well there's, it's told a few ways- Arnie: It sounds like it's like a fever dream! Chunt: I think it's open- Otok: Uh, it might be me. My wife was the storyteller. Um- Arnie: Are you okay? Otok: Yeah, um. I'm sorry. I just...it's a story I used to tell my daughter. Arnie: I don't think I've met your daughter. Or your wife. Otok: Well, my wife...my wife passed some years ago. Arnie: Oh, I'm sor- I'm very sorry. Otok: She was crushed by a barleywood tree. Arnie: Oh... Otok: And my daughter, um, she ran away. She wanted to be a warrior. Arnie: Uh-huh? Otok: And she joined the um, the Falsetto Marauders. Arnie: The Falsetto Marauders? Otok: And I haven't seen her in...two Blunders. Arnie: I'm so sorry to hear about...the tragedies in your family. Otok: Right. Arnie: I don't know if you want to talk about it, or we could change the subject...we could talk about the- Otok: No, it's fine. I uh- and in fact...quite frankly I'm looking for, I'm looking for some adventurers to um- Arnie: Mm-hmm? Otok: -to aid me in getting my daughter back. Arnie: [astonished] Really? So you have your own quest that you wanna' go on? Otok: Yeah. Fi’ang Yalok, I've spoken to him about it, um, he seems distracted- Arnie: Yeah. Otok: -with something else. Um, but you know, ideally I'd get some help. Arnie: Yeah, I mean- Otok: Getting her back. Arnie: I have to stay here, because this is pretty important communication- Otok: Right. Arnie: Explain this world to our world. Otok: Well, y- Chunt: And I was like, Arnie's got a similar situation where, kinda similar, where he's left his wife and daughter behind? Arnie: [laughs] I'm not- Chunt: And he's done nothing to search for them. Otok: Ooooh. Arnie: No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Otok: You chose to leave them behind? Arnie: No, that is absolutely not true. I, I have a w- a wife and a newborn, uh, child at home, and I am heartbroken that I am not with them, and I worry, and think about it every day. Uh, I did not intentionally come here, I'm really just trying to make the best out of it, and trying to do important work with this podcast, but I, like you, am very heartbroken. Otok: You seem pretty jovial. Arnie: No I- [laughs] Otok: And- [laughs] Could we get-? Chunt: Could we get some spicy potatoes over here? Otok: Yes, please, the spiced...[clears throat] Arnie: So- okay, so you're trying to get adventurers together. Otok: Right. Arnie: Your daughter went off to, with the Falsetto Marauders? Is that what you said? Otok: Yes. That is correct. They're a mercenary group of warriors. They're always looking for young, young trainees. Arnie: And do they sing? Chunt: No, it's- you know when they're near, because you hear like a [breathy, high pitched whine]. Like a "Whaa" Otok: Warrior call. Chunt: Yeah. Usidore: [off-mic far in background, unintelligible] Arnie: And so, is she in any partic- Like, I mean, first of all you should go after her, but...it seems like she chose to go off... Otok: The Falsetto Marauders are the worst kind of people on the face of Foon! I mean, they're disgusting animals! Arnie: What, what horrible things have they done? Otok: They killed off all of the, the sheep... [long pause] Arnie and Otok: [laughing] Chunt: [scoffs] All- I mean we don't have sh-, we used to have sheep, we don't have any more. I know when my cousin was a baby, they walked by and just like, smacked him. Arnie: I gotta' say- Chunt: Across the face. Like, a baby. Arnie: Look, I'm not saying, I'm not saying that those things aren't [laughing] I'm not saying that those- Chunt: Are you laughing at my cousin getting smacked? Arnie: [still laughing] I'm so sorry... Otok: And that's not the only- Chunt: In the f- Otok: -baby they've smacked, either. Arnie: Sure. Look, I'm not saying- Otok: When they, when you hear that sound coming into town- Usidore: [off-mic, much louder] -SUPPOSE YOU CAN [unintelligible] WEST WITH SPINTAX THE GREEN, THEN! [unintelligible, angry] USIDORE SHALL NOT STAND FOR IT! [more unintelligible, angry shouting, growing quieter as if leaving] Chunt: Wizard fight! [laughs] Arnie: Oh... Otok: Ooo. [yelling] Not in here, boys! Arnie: Look, I'm not saying that- I just that like, killing sheep and smacking babies, on the scale- Otok: Every last sheep. Arnie: On the scale of the kind of awful things you could do in this land, the stuff I've kinda' heard about, this seems, pretty small scale stuff. Otok: Would you want your daughter, your abandoned daughter, to join a- Arnie: Not ab- Abandoned is an exaggeration. Otok: -a group of angry, baby-slapping, sheep-killing marauders? Arnie: No, of course. I'm just saying like, if this is what she wants to be doing with her life...? Otok: Activia had a beautiful voice. Arnie: Activia? Otok: My daughter. Arnie: Her name was Activia? Chunt: Mm-hmm. Otok: That's correct. Chunt: We used to, uh, any time we'd see her around town we'd kind-of sing it? [singing to the tune of the Activia yogurt jingle] Ac-ti-via... Arnie: Okay, well you know what? Let's take a quick break. Usidore: [off-mic, much closer than before] Augh! I'm caught in my robe! I'm caught in my robe! Otok: [sighs] Arnie: Um, we gotta' help Usidore. Otok: We can't have this. Arnie: We're gonna' take a quick break, refresh our drinks, and help Usidore, and we'll be right back with more tales from the Vermilion Minotaur. [Ad Music] Usidore: [off-mic] I think this will be a wonderful opportunity for you. [clears throat] To get out of Hogsface and learn a little bit more about the world around you! Well it turns out that there is evil in this world- Unknown voice: [yelling angrily] Shut up! Usidore: Take up arms against it for it is each ourouururrrururrrururrruh our duty to decide when it is time, for we can no longer stand for the evil- Unknown voice: [still yelling] This is horsh- Shut up! Usidore: To invade our lives. Unknown voice: [anguished groan] Usidore: This is your- this is your last chance! I won't ask YOU AGAIN! THIS IS, I WON'T ASK FOR YOU TO COME ALONG WITH ME ON MY WONDERFUL JOURNEY! SO MUCH GOLD AND HONOR AND PRESTIGE TO BE WON! [Ad music ends] Arnie: Welcome back! All right, so we, I guess we've helped Usidore, at least as much as we possibly can. I wanna' talk a little bit more about the, the tavern itself. Otok: Well, it's a place to, to meet friends. Arnie: Mm-hmm. Otok: To have good conversation. Arnie: Yeah? Otok: We've got some, sort of out of, out of bar activities we do? Arnie: Uh-huh. Otok: We've got a mittens team. And in fact, we're down a guy...if...all right, well we'll talk later. Arnie: Ah, I don't- I'm not very athletic myself. I know Usidore has been really wanting to get into playing mittens. Otok: ...Yeah. [sighs] Yeah, he's mentioned that. Arnie: ...Not- Okay, that's fine. Otok: Yeah, we don't- Arnie: I, I get it. You don't even- Otok: We've got a w-wizard. Chunt: [chuckles] Arnie: [laughs] That's not a big- Otok: [mutters] So we don't really need another one... Arnie: That's not a big deal. What's it like running a tavern in a magical land? Is it dangerous? I mean, I know we're on, what is it? This big, through-fare road, you probably get a lot of strange creatures and adventurers coming in all the time. Otok: Right, well, they always come in here. I mean, where do you think they get their rumors and their gossip? They come here, to the Vermilion Minotaur. Our barkeeps are more than happy to supply it. Arnie: Yeah. Otok: But it can be dangerous, I mean, I mean I already told you how my daughter is gone- Arnie: Yeah. Otok: And my wife was crushed, so- Arnie: I know, I know, we talked- [laughs] Otok: It's weird that you're leading me to more- Chunt: [singing] Ac-ti-via! Arnie: That's really bringing the podca- let's not talk so much about that anymore. So, the bartenders being kind-of rumor mongers, are they trained to do that? Usidore: [muttering incoherently far in the background] Otok: Well, it just comes naturally. I mean, people come for, they're looking for work, they're looking for adventure, and they ask the barkeep. Arnie: Are you, do you collect rumors yourself? Like are there any juicy rumors floating around lately? Otok: [tisks] I mean, I've got a couple. I mean, I don't know if I wanna' spread it. You know, I'll give you one. Arnie: Great! Otok: I'll give you one. Um, so the, the Raven's Crew? Um, you know- Arnie: I don't know what that is. Otok: Oh, well they're, um, they kind-of kidnap children? Arnie: Uh-huh. Otok: Yeah. The Raven's Crew? Chunt: They don't smack 'em though. They kidnap 'em. Arnie: They just- Usidore: [far in the background]...all of Foon will... Otok: No, they don't smack 'em. Chunt: They don't smack 'em or slap 'em- Usidore: [in background, suddenly louder] darkness! [Continues, unintelligible] Otok: Right, they're just a kidnapping of children g- it's a religious cult. Arnie: Oh, I see. Otok: The Raven's Crew, they're very um, and so they kidnap children, they bring them to their palace, and um, brainwash them. Usidore: [continuing to recruit in the background, mostly unintelligible] Arnie: Yeah. Otok: Anyway, there's a rumor that one of them is working um, at the, uh, cobbler. Arnie: Really? Otok: Yeah. I don't know if it's a former Raven's Crew member or a current, but- Usidore: [Getting steadily louder] he shall sit upon a chair, a trophy of his...a lost man... Otok: -it's just one little rumor I heard. Chunt: Yeah, I heard that one. Arnie: [laughs] You heard that one as well? No one tells me- Chunt: I heard, I heard he's also uh, I heard he's gay. [pause, Usidore still talking in the background] Chunt: [laughs] Arnie: That's...fine. Otok: Yeah. Chunt: No, it's fine, I've had sex with, with male animals, it's just...it's something to talk about. Arnie: Sure, of course. Otok: Usually you have to buy a second ale to get that extra rumor. Arnie: Ah, I see! So it's kind-of an unsp- Chunt: I'm sorry, I blew his wad- Otok: It's all right! No, Chunt, it's, don't worry about it. Arnie: It's like an unspoken menu item. Otok: Right. You know, it's like, "Ah, I'll have another ale from the barkeep" well- Chunt: Let me be clear, Chunt doesn't care about homosexuality, it's just...it's just fun to talk about. Arnie: It's just fun to talk about. Chunt: Everyone loves to talk about sexuality, right? Arnie: Sure, of course! Yeah! Chunt: Do you ha-, I mean, in your world do you talk about who's gay and who's not? Arnie: Yeah, I suppose we do, to some extent. Chunt: Yeah, but it's not in like a nasty way, it's just like, "Oh, that's fun." Arnie: I mean, unfortunately some people do talk about it in a nasty way. But then, also, people, I guess people do just generally gossip. I mean, especially if you're not sure, or surprised... Chunt: Yeah. Arnie: Or w-, like uh, it switches? Chunt: Chunt accepts all. Otok: Foon is a pretty accepting place. Arnie: It seems like it. It does! It really does. And there's so many, and there's so many things to kind of be accepting of, like, you know, people who have sex with animals and then turn into those animals! Otok: Right. Chunt: Right, thank you. Can I ask you something real quick? Usidore: [laughing uproariously, much closer] Yes! My friend Chunt is a shapeshifter! Say- Chunt! Wave! Chunt: Hello! Usidore: Hello! That's Chunt! Arnie: Usidore, if you're going to try to engage us, I wish you would be on the podcast. Usidore: I'm sorry? Arnie: If you're going to try to engage us, I wish you would be on the podcast. Usidore: I'm trying- Arnie: Do you reali- you know every week, you've been on this podcast! Usidore: I know, but I'm, I'm...I'm working hard this week, Arnold. I'm going to recruit some adventurers to defeat the Dark Lord! Arnie: Okay. Usidore: I'm re-committed! [laughs] Unknown voice: [annoyed] I'm trying to study! Arnie: All right. Otok: Ah, yeah. Chunt: I feel like two more drinks and he'll be in the wizard state, so... Arnie: Oh god, I hate the wizard state, so much. Chunt: It can be a blessing. Arnie: Yeah. Do you have any, like, what's like, so what are the perks of being a tavern owner? Otok: Well, like I said, everybody kinda' comes to me. Arnie: Yeah. Otok: You know and I've known people since they were young, y'know. Arnie: Sure! Otok: We've been here. I've billed their fathers, and their father's fathers. We also do a good deal of charity work. Arnie: Really? Otok: And if you could- Arnie: That's fantastic Otok: -if you're going to be around, it'd be great if you would, y'know, chip in. Arnie: Uhh, yeah, if I have time. What, like w- w- Chunt: If you have time? To give money? [laughs] Arnie: I- first of all I don't have any money. Otok: Are you working? Chunt: He didn't ask for a time commitment, he asked for mon- for a donation. Arnie: Oh, I thought he was suggesting that I do some charity work. Chunt: Oh, I thought you were suggesting a donation. Otok: Well, I was suggesting a donation, but we also have our Vermilion Minotaur March coming up. And if you march around the outskirts of the town with us, that would also- Arnie: And what does, what are we raising money for? Otok: Um, for an extension for the Vermilion Minotaur… Arnie: [incredulous laughter] That does not- wait, for- hold on, that's not charity. That's not charity! Otok: We- uh, did you know that we house eight unwed mothers? Arnie: I did not know that. Otok: Well now you do. Arnie: So, becau- [laughs] is this because of like your wife and that, y'know, your child, that- Otok: I thought you didn't want to talk about that. Arnie: I really, I guess I don't but it just seems so...Chunt, right, doesn't it seem...that seems like probably why? Chunt: Do you think he slept with those women? Arnie: No! [laughing] I'm not! Chunt: You think he's the father of those- Arnie: I'm- Otok: How dare you? Arnie: I'm not accusing you of anything! Otok: And even if I did, I'm a- I'm a widower! My wife died- Arnie: That's true! You were, I mean- Otok: She would want- Arnie: You can have sex with as many people as you want! Otok: Okay. I haven't though. Chunt: Can I ask you something? Can I ask you something direct? Because you seem...real...in a not real hurry to get home. Are you gay? Do you have a wife and kids, or are you gay? Arnie: I'm not gay! I have, I- I love my wife and my child, and I really do want to get home to them, I'm just, y'know, while I'm here I'm trying to make the most of it. Otok: You should know that there are a couple rumors about you. Arnie: There are rumors about me? Otok: Mm-hm. Chunt: I spread most of them. Otok: Yeah. Arnie: Oh, Chunt. Well, what are the rumors? Otok: Well, there's one that you're gay. [Arnie laughs] Chunt: Which you can't be upset with, right? Arnie: I'm not upset! Chunt: Because you said- Arnie: No I'm not! Here's the thing, I'm not having sex with anybody here. I, I guess I can understand why people, y;know, I haven't immediately sidled up to a wench here, so I guess I'm...that means I'm gay, but I'm not! Otok: We don't call them wenches. Arnie: I'm too faithful! I'm sorry, what do you call them? Otok: [pause] Barmaids. Arnie: Barmaids? [laughs] Fair, fair, fair enough. All right, what's another rumor about me? Otok: I don't know if you're gonna want to hear it. Arnie: Is it really that bad? Chunt: I told people that you poop standing up. [chuckles] Arnie: Yeah, one time! Otok: And in Foon that's the sign of a...that's the Dark sign. I mean, one of the Dark signs. Arnie: That, that means I'm evil? Chunt: Mm-hmm. Otok: Mm-hmm. Arnie: I didn't know- Look, first of all, the plumbing here is weird. There's no really good- I mean, in my world, going to the bathroom is very like, much more of a convenient situation. And so I was just trying to figure out the least grotesque way to kind of like poop in the arrangement here, and I was standing up, trying something out, Chunt walked in on me, it was embarrassing. It was really embarrassing. Otok: Do you use something- Usidore: [in the background] I know I've asked you before Otok: -besides a poop pot and a thistle brush? Where you come from? Usidore: [in the background] Make your children proud, pick up a sword! Yea, unwed mothers, come with me on this quest to defeat the Dark Lord! Arnie: Oh no. Otok: Oh no, stay away from them. [to Usidore] Fi’ang Yalok! Usidore: [in the background] Please, I beg of you! Stop- Don't go to your day jobs! Arnie: Don't- What kind of adventure is he going to have with a bunch of unwed mothers? Otok: You're sick. Chunt: You're bringing this down. Arnie: I really- I was so excited to have- I feel like this has really taken a horrible turn. Y'know, I love the Vermilion Minotaur, I'm so excited to have you on as a guest, I'm sorry if I've offended you. And Chunt, I've clearly upset you as well. Chunt: No, I told you, I had a long day of being fetishized, so it's just- Arnie: Okay- Chunt: -it's that. Arnie: Well, what are some things coming up with the Vermilion Minotaur? People listening to this, in my world, if they can somehow come though that dimensional rift, if they find themselves in Foon- Otok: Sure- Arnie: -like things they could expect if they come to the Vermilion Minotaur. Otok: Well, um, we have Open Mike Night. Arnie: Wha, really? Otok: Once a week, absolutely. Arnie: That's so strange, because before I came here, you guys didn't even know what microphones were. [pause] Otok: Microphone? Chunt: What are- Microphone? Arnie: What is, what is Open Mic Night? Chunt: We have a guy named Mike, and he'll split himself open. Arnie: [laughing] Oh god! Chunt: He's an inside-outer. Otok: Yeah. Chunt: Which means he can exist either with his skin intact or sort-of popped out. Arnie: Eugh. Chunt: And then he'll do like 2 to 3 minutes of standup. [laughter] Otok: It's...it gets pretty crowded here...on Open Mike Nights. Arnie: What- I'm gonna- What night, what night of the week is Open Mike Night? Otok: Flenday. Arnie: [laughs] Flenday? All right, here's what I' m gonna' do. I'm gonna' figure out what day Flenday is, I'm gonna kinda' try to make it a point not to come on Flenday. And I'm sorry, I was just- Chunt: Come on, I was testing out some new material! I told you about this the other day, I said, 'Come support my new material.' Arnie: Aah- I didn't know- Otok: Chunt's performing, yeah. Chunt: Chunt's- Chunt's observations! Arnie: All right Chunt, sure, show us some of your new material. Chunt: Ah, don't make me be funny on the spot! Arnie: All right, well how about this- Chunt: Have you ever been walking...next to a tree...and a leaf will fall? And you're like, "Chunt's up with that?" Otok: [laughs] Chunt: That's my catchphrase, it's "Chunt's up with that" Arnie: "Chunt's up with that?" Ok. That's- that's pretty good. Chunt: I don't want any feedback from you. Otok: And that's just one thing going on. And then there's Chunt's Night. Arnie: There's Chunt's- there's a lot of Chunt-centric nights here. Chunt: I'm uh, I mean, I've been here since I was a kid I've been running around here. Otok's been like a, like a father to me. Otok: Aw, little Chunt, you should have known Chunt when he was a little, little guy. Arnie: What was he like? Otok: Well, he went through different phases. When he was different animals. Arnie: What has been your favorite form that Chunt has been in? Otok: Otter. Arnie: Otter? Chunt: Mm-hmm. Arnie: Otters are pretty adorable. Otok: Yep. Chunt: I used to come in here, just lay on my back and crack open clams on my tummy. Arnie: Oh, that's pretty...that's pretty cute. Otok: And then he'd have sex with a caterpillar. Chunt: Yeah. Otok: Head to the kitchen- Chunt: [simultaneous] Yeah, 'See you in three months!' Otok: [simultaneous] Fry him up. Chunt: Yeah. [laughter] [trill] Arnie: Otok, thank you so much for agreeing to be a guest on Hello From the Magic Tavern. I love the Vermilion Minotaur, I'm glad that people get a little bit more of a sense of this place we've been podcasting from every week. Otok: Using my best booth. Arnie: Yes! And please, I mean, I know you're often very busy running the place, but if you ever want to sit in on the podcast please, please do. Otok: Thank you. Arnie: And maybe we can get out word about your missing daughter… Otok: Activia. Arnie: About Activia. I mean, we won't dwell on it too much because it's kind of depressing but… Usidore: [in the background, singing]Ac-ti-vi-a! Otok: All right. All right, Usidore. Arnie: Um, as always, please, if you enjoy this podcast, go to iTunes, give us a review, give us five stars. And just let people know. This is a major discovery, and I'm sure most of earth is really going crazy about it right now. But on the off chance that it isn't major news, please get the word out there. Also, you can email us your questions about Foon at magictavern@puppies.supplies. I swear it's a real email address, it's all I could get, there's some weird firewall with the Burger King WiFi- it's not worth going into. But, uh, we got an email from Joshua Bright, who asks: "Is there an amusement park in Foon? If so, what are its mascots and assorted attractions?" I don't even know if you would even know what an amusement park is. It's just like a...a large, like a fair? Otok: Sure. Arnie: Or a festival that's just always there, and you go, and there are rides, and people dressed up in weird costumes. Chunt: Oohh, we have uh, there's Topple Land. Otok: Yeah. Chunt: And it's uh, you basically climb up to the top of a tree, and they'll, somebody will knock over the tree, and you just uh- It's where you go to die. Arnie: Oh, god! Chunt: It's when you're ready to die, yeah. Arnie: I feel like that would be- Chunt: So we don't have the term Amusement Park- Arnie: Let's not talk about that, in front of- Chunt: Oh okay. We call them Death Parks. Arnie: I know, but his wife was killed by a tree. Otok: Chunt knows. Chunt: Yeah, I mean, we have that rapport so… Otok: Right, at the Death Parks the trees aren't doing it intentionally, it's...part of the ritual. Arnie: I see. Is it common for people to go and kill themselves at this...Topple Park? Chunt: I mean if uh, a tree topples in the forest, does anyone hear it? [pause] Chunt: It's pretty common. Arnie: Chunt's up with that? Otok: Chunt's up with that? [theme music] [static] Mysterious Man: Well, what another wondrous array of imaginings in a fantastical world that isn't real, because it's fake. Chunt the Badger was brought to glorious life by the human Adal Rafai. Usidore the Wizard was played by Matt Young. Special guest Otok Barleyfoot was played by Nick Baer. He would agree with me that assembling an army of robots powered by the souls of children is no easy task. You can follow Nick on Twitter @nbaer. Don't be terrified by the unconventional spelling. ANd Evan Jacover was in there somewhere, yelling in the background. Produced by Evan Jacover and Ryan DiGiorgi. Edited by Ryan DeGiorgi. Music by Andy Poland. Hello From the Magic Tavern Logo by Allard Leban. Learn more about the show, and the fantastical world we've haphazardly assembled, at hellofromthemagictavern.com. Or follow us on Twitter @magictavern. This wonderous ball of lies was brought to you by Field Notes, with the help of the Chicago Podcast Cooperative. Learn more about Field Notes at fieldnotesbrand.com, and the Chicago Podcast Cooperative at chicagopodcastcoop.com. [static] [theme song end]

[harmonyindark245]

Secrets [7]

Summary: King's Archeron's kingdom is made up of secrets, which include both betrayal and treason. When the Prince of Velaris and his Inner Circle visit the kingdom, these secrets start revealing themselves. How will these affect the 3 Archeron Princesses, who themselves have a very deadly secret?

AN: All characters belong to Sarah J. Maas.

Warnings: Slight Mature Language

Word Count - 2.1k

Early update!

Elriel shippers, hope you enjoy it!

Masterlist

Elain was ready much before time. She was wearing a dress that would be considered scandalous if she were to go somewhere other than Rita’s. She had a long overcoat hiding most of the bodice, only her sandals visible underneath.

The previous two days had not gone differently. After breakfast, she would meet up with Rhys and they would talk about their likes and dislikes, their kingdom and various other random topics. After lunch, she crossed paths with Azriel as both of them had to train at that time. 

Dinner would be a casual affair and after that she would spend most of the night dreaming of the man she had trained with. Seeing Azriel train shirtless from the past days, had only encouraged her fantasies.

She reached the main doorway only to find Azriel already prepared and waiting for others. She would not lie to herself and say that she was not glad that she would be able to get some time alone with him. As she moved closer to him, she cleared her throat, catching his attention.

He turned around and looked at her from up to down, eyeing her overcoat with much suspicion. “Why do I have a feeling that whatever you’re wearing underneath is bound to surprise me?”

Elain loved the way his hazel eyes had a glint of amusement in them. She imagined what they would look like after spending an entire night together, uncovering their secrets, one by one. 

Elain gave him a sly smirk as she said, “Why don’t you ask your spies?” 

Azriel’s expression faltered for a moment, before he regained his composure as he asked her, “I beg your pardon? I do not understand.”

“Well, you are the Spymaster. You obviously have spies to help you out, don’t you?” She said. Elain was feeling bolder than she usually was whenever she was around Azriel. There was something about him that made Elain a much better version of herself.

Then there was also the fact that his looks could literally kill. 

Azriel nodded. “Rhys just said that we were to be ready by sunset. Would you mind telling where we are going?” He questioned her.

“We are going to one of the best places to go in our kingdom.” Elain said. 

“A bit more information would help, you know.” Azriel said. She looked at him and smiled. He gave her a flustered look.

“Oh don’t worry, you’ll know soon enough, I’m sure.” With that she ended their conversation and the others started coming their way. 

----------------------------

Feyre was glad that they were all going to Rita’s. What better way to uncover one’s secret when one is drunk? Feyre figured she would easily get the Prince drunk and make him spill all of his intentions. Feyre knew she herself was in no state to drink again. At least not until a few years. She was shocked at Elain’s ability to remain calm after a night of heavy drinking. 

She had spent the past two days with  the General, Cassian. He had told her about his job and had also offered to train with her once she had expressed her interests in swordfighting. They had started training at 7 in the morning and she had to say, it was much better than training with Tamlin. 

Feyre wore one of her better dresses. She intended to get to know most of the guests that had come to visit. Especially the two females whom she had no interaction with yet. Underneath her dress, she also hid two daggers on each thigh, just in case they were required. 

There was a knock on her door when she had finished readying herself.  She expected it to be either of her sisters or Cassian. 

She did not expect, however, to come face to face with a blonde haired woman dressed completely in red. She recognised her as Morrigan, one of their guests.

“Hello!” She exclaimed. “My name is Morrigan, but call me Mor!” Feyre winced slightly as Mor’s voice echoed off the stone walls. 

Feyre clutched her dress as she said, “Princess Feyre Archeron.” 

Mor waved her hand. “Oh, I already know. Come on, let’s go. I thought it would be nice to come and meet you.” Before Feyre could say anything, she added, “And don’t worry, Rhys did not send me here.” She tangled her arm with Feyre’s as she said, “In all honesty, Rhys would bite off my head if he knew I was with you.” 

“Why is that?” Feyre found herself asking. 

Mor glanced towards her once and started moving forward, pulling Feyre along with her. “Well, that is something only he himself could tell you. Enough about my stupid cousin. Tell me about yourself. And where are we going? No one told me anything and it’s making me anxious.”

Feyre smiled to herself. She had not even known Mor for more than a minute and had already considered her a very nice person to be friends with. And she knew that she needed one of those.

----------------------------

Cassian knew he was taking a great risk by standing outside her chambers, waiting for her. He knew she would definitely castrate him once she saw him, but he found that he could not stay away from her. There was something about Princess Nesta. He was drawn to her like a moth to a flame. 

The door in front of opened and she stood before him, in a long overcoat. She settled her gaze on him and scowled.

Oh how he loved that scowl.

Cassian smirked at her. “Let’s go Princess, your sisters are waiting for you.” He held his hand out for her. She didn’t accept it just like he expected. 

“I was not aware that you were going to be here.” She said cautiously. 

“Well, then whom did you think was going to be here? Certainly not someone more handsome than what you got.” He remarked. 

She narrowed his eyes. “Actually, yes, I did. I had expected the spymaster to be here.” She simply said. Cassian couldn’t do anything about the small feeling of jealousy that piqued within him. 

He pushed it all aside and said, “Well, Azriel had to go do some other important stuff and I thought I could come here instead of wasting my time.”

At that, Nesta turned towards him abruptly and glared at him. “Being here is the equivalent of wasting your time?”

Shit. “No, that’s not what I meant Princess.” 

Nesta didn’t care to listen though. “Just keep quiet and let me go.” 

After that Cassian stayed silent the entire way till the entrance where everyone was already there, waiting for them. Rhys sent him a confused look and Cassian only gave him a look that said, I screwed up big time.

----------------------------

Rhysand spent 15 minutes in the carriage wondering one thing, Where the hell were they going? He sat beside Feyre who had unknowingly sat very close to him. He did not mind it all, though. He did mind that the entire journey, she did not pay him any attention. She was talking to everyone else, even Amren, but not him. 

When they finally reached their destination and got out of the carriage, Rhys found himself standing in front of a huge building from which lights were pouring out. It seemed more crowded than any normal place. As soon as he entered the building, he realised that Rita’s was a tavern. It was filled with a lot of men and very few women. 

Someone handed all of them a glass filled with drinks. Feyre turned around and looked at him for the first time that evening. “Don’t worry. Drink up. You’ll be needing it.” She smiled at him and turned around. He emptied his glass in one gulp and realised it was vodka mixed with some sweet juice.

The three sisters moved ahead together and removed their coats, revealing a short dress, reaching their mid thighs, and stuck very closely to their body. From beside him, Az started choking on his drink and Mor laughed loudly. Cassian patted him on the back until he stopped choking and all of them looked at the sisters with wide eyes. 

Feyre was wearing a dark blue shimmery dress. She looked marvelous.

The three of them walked up to the lady tending the bar and got three drinks for themselves. All three of them downed it in one gulp. 

Mor and Amren moved ahead and joined them, leaving behind the three males, dumbstruck.

----------------------------

Az tried his best to not stare. He really did. But he could not help whenever his gaze involuntarily shifted towards Elain. She was wearing a dark pink dress, covered in glitters and it reached her mid thigh. 

He was used to seeing females wear such dresses back in his kingdom but he had not expected to see Elain ever wearing something of such. In gowns, Elain looked pretty and beautiful, like a true princess, but at that moment, in that dress of hers and drinking down whiskey as if there was no tomorrow, she looked like a goddess. And Azriel would be damned if he said he didn’t want to spend every second of his life worshipping her. 

He didn’t know where he was getting these thoughts from. He was on a mission and he shouldn't be getting distracted by one princess. Unfortunately, he couldn’t convey the same message to his mind. 

She was sitting on a barstool, alone, nursing a drink. Her sisters were nowhere to be seen and he thought he should go sit with her, just in case she needed help. 

He slid onto the seat beside her. Without turning towards him she said, “If you care for your life, I suggest you go away this instant.” Az wouldn’t have felt threatened if it weren't for the little needle she had placed right near his inner thigh. 

He smiled and raised both his hands in surrender. “You have me defeated.” 

Elain turned and looked at him, her eyes lighting up as soon as she saw him. “Azzie! I didn’t see you there!” 

Az smiled at her. “You’re drunk.” He stated. 

She shook her head. “Nah. Just a little bit tipsy.” She said as she pinched two of her fingers together. “So, what do you think of the dress?” She asked him.

Az looked down at her once again. “Uh… You look nice.” He said hesitantly.

She shook her head in dismay. “The truth, Azzie.” She leaned towards him and whispered conspicuously. “There’s no one here to listen to our words and watch our actions.” 

Az found himself leaning towards her as well. “Actions, huh?” He whispered as well. 

They were very close to each other. He could feel her hot breath. “We could do whatever we want and there will be no one stopping us.” She leaned in closer, her gaze focussed on his lips.

“You look incredibly sexy.” He said as he finally closed the distance between them and touched his lips to hers. 

She instantly increased the pace. She grasped onto his forearm and pulled him closer, deepening the kiss. Azriel moved his hand from her shoulder, down to her back, caressing her long, soft hair. He moved his other hand to cup her face. 

Everything around them ceased to exist. Az could barely taste alcohol on her lips. He knew from her bright eyes that she was completely in her senses. 

She raised her hands and held onto his shoulders. They broke apart slightly, both panting heavily. She looked into his eyes and opened her mouth to speak when she was interrupted by the barmaid. 

“Princess, you need to hide now.” She said urgently. Elain looked confused. She turned her gaze towards the entrance and widened her eyes in shock. She then grabbed Azriel and went in the opposite direction of the entrance.

Azriel glanced at the entrance, but couldn’t see much due to the crowd. All he could make out was a tall man with furious green eyes and golden hair. 

----------------------------

The man with golden hair stood in front of King Archeron, handing him a goblet filled with wine. 

“How was your journey, Captain?” The King asked as he took a sip of wine. The man did not reply, just sat in a chair in front of a fireplace. “Captain, I asked you something.” 

He just said, “King.” 

King Archeron looked at him with narrowed eyes. “What do you mean?” 

The Captain stretched his legs in front of him. “I am the King now.”

The King looked at him furiously. “What rubbish?!” Suddenly, the King felt unable to breathe. His throat felt parched and his mouth felt numb. 

His vision started darkening and he collapsed onto the floor. He saw the Captain move towards him and look down at him with a sneer on his face. 

“You will never succeed.” The King rasped.

The man just laughed wickedly. “Oh poor Archeron.” He moved towards the throne, gazing at the portrait of the King with his three daughters.  The King closed his eyes as he lost the fight within him. 

“I just did.”

----------------------------

An: It’ll probably have about 10 chapters, plus an epilogue.  

Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list!

Tag list: @devilorfling​ @sleepyyhead21​  @b00kworm​ @s-atanism​ @eloeloeheheh @absolute-dissapointment​ @illyrianwitchling13​

[madlymiho]

“A candle in your window” 🕯️ New story!

Hello! Okay, this is basically me thirsting for Shanks all over again 🤐 I have decided to write a fiction about my ideal story with him, so the girl here is me, I’m not hidding it anymore... But since I’m not so selfish, it remains just a fem! s/o without a name 😋😋

There will be other chapters for this story! It’s a slow burn after all 😮

Rating : Mature

Words : 2592

Chapter 1 : A Yonko in Town (read after the cut)

It’s a been a few months since you’re working for Mazel, the well-known former pirate who now owns a tavern downtown; his golden retirement after many years sailing the seas. The job isn’t the most entertaining, but at least, you’re having enough money to pay your studies. There’s a lot of people who comes in and out of the tavern, most of the time travelers, all of them coming back from different islands, stories about treasures and beasts for everyone to listen. Somehow, you like it deeply. It’s always crowded and warm inside, and you feel just at home whenever they all tell you about what you have always craved in life. Yes, it’s a dream for you. One day you will probably get on a boat and disappear far away from this island, chasing after your wishes of freedom and adventures. It’s a hidden promise you made with yourself a long time ago, when you’d be bored enough to stop your studies and run away. But from now, you appreciate hearing the many stories of those strangers, looking at them with fire in the eyes, your heart racing slightly faster than usual.  

Speaking of your heart, yours is entirely free, but also hurt enough to be closed forever. At 24 years old, you have lived enough drama in your life to wish not to have a boyfriend anymore. You’re afraid of this cursed feeling which slowly paralyzed every of your brain functions, all of your instincts almost numb, as you’re unable to think anymore. You don’t want to end up in your bedroom again, giving yourself to someone who’s not that honest nor worthy, offering a piece of your tender heart, looking at them crushing it days after days, using your kindness as the tool of your own desperation. That’s also why you like this job. Being the waitress gives you all the reasons to turn down every man who tries to seduce you, pretending that your boss, Mazel, wouldn’t be that pleased if you abandon yourself to such a delusional passion while you’re paid to work for him. Convenient, indeed… Until the day your life has been shattered for good.

The first thing your saw about him was his charming smile, quickly followed by a powerful and genuine laugh. It was like hearing thousands of angels and demons bursting into an impossible chorus, all of them singing for the glory of this man’s aura. You almost dropped your tray that night, unable to focus for a few seconds, absolutely mesmerized by him. With his own presence, he was enlightening the all area, all the eyes of the tavern lurking at him with a visible curiosity, as if they were all panting for more. More of his laughter exploding like a firework, more of his jokes and stories… More of his name whispered on every mouth. You learnt it after a few days ; he was Shanks, the famous captain of the Red Hair Pirate, one of the four emperor of the sea. You couldn’t believe it, at first. This man, this charming creature, was that fierce and dangerous figure. It felt as impossible as his visit in this tiny tavern, and for months, Shanks never showed up again. That night when you first encounter him was like it has never happened at all, and somehow, since that particular moment, you always feel an odd pinch in your heart whenever the door of the tavern opens up.

 ***

“Ah, Name! Did you get lost?” Mazel greets you as you come in, wiping your forehead after a long day of sun. “I was expecting you earlier!”

“Sorry, I needed to work for my exam next week; I told you it was a big one.” You barely answer, closing the door to catch some fresh air. It’s 5pm, but the place is empty for now. “Why do you need me? There’s no one…”

Mazel rolls his eyes and simply puts a few barrels on the bar.

“We are expecting a large crew tonight. I heard in town that there were several pirate ships anchored in the arbor and they will all probably visit the place.”

You frown, not very reassured nor pleased by what you have just heard. When there are different pirates gathered at the same place, it’s not always easy to control them, especially when they are drunk.

“Do you really want to have them all here?” You sigh, walking behind the bar to help him securing the barrels of beer and refill the gallons.

Mazel looks at you as if you have just insulted him, clicking his tongue impatiently.

“Of course I want to have them all here!” He snarls and shakes his head. “And you better be ready to work quickly tonight! I need you to be focus.”

“Fine.” You snap as well, not really enthusiast about the future events.

“Here.” Mazel plasters a notebook against your chest, along with a pen. “Go to the basement and make the all inventory. I need to prevent any burglar, so hurry up to be done before the opening!”

“What?” You catch the notebook before it falls on the ground. “It’s impossible, you have dozens of shelves, barrels and stuff you’re hiding everywhere!”

He grabs your shoulder and pushes on it, forcing you to start walking into the direction of the basement.

“Then you better move your ass, minx!”

 ***

When you get back from the basement, of course, the place is already crowded as hell. Dozens of pirates are here, loudly joking and yelling, almost half-drunk already. You make your way to the bar, using your tininess to pass them all, finishing your race behind the counter where Mazel abruptly throws to your face your usual apron. You put it on without a word, exhaling for a second, before you look at your first client and give him your most polite and welcoming smile.

“A beer miss,” the man says as he puts some money on the bar. He’s very tall, a few scar crossing the side of his face, a long grey ponytail falling behind his back. He’s looking behind him for a second, and then put another coin on the wooden counter. “Make another one; my captain has his jug almost empty.”

He gives you a polite smile and you just nod, feeling comfortable with this stranger. At least, he’s having manners, and it’s more enjoyable for you. You put two pints of beer on the counter and grip the money, counting them mentally.

“Sir, you gave too much!” You point out before he would disappear in the crowd, putting yourself on your tiptoes to wave at him.

Another smile, almost imperceptible, but real and truly warm.

“Keep the change.”

You giggle and turn your head to serve another client, a strange feeling of happiness blooming inside of your guts. You don’t know why, but there’s something very enjoyable tonight. Despite the many yells and shouts, people are acting civil, and it’s not always the case when the place is all crowded like this.

“Hurry up!” Mazel shoves a tray in your arms with snacks, sausages, cheese and a jar of beer on it. “Bring it to table 41, would ya?”

You don’t argue, gripping the tray with all of your strength, silently praying that no one will make you fall during your journey to the farthest table of the bar. You apologize a multiple times, bumping into everyone, avoiding some intrusive hands trying to steal some slices of cheese right from the tray. After a moment, you finally spot the table 41, and recognize the man with the ponytail, who’s peacefully drinking on his beer. You put on your best “commercial” smile, coming closer, until you hear something, which paralyzed you entirely. You feel your heart suddenly racing into your chest, pounding so hard that you’re feeling dizzy. The man with the ponytail moves slightly on his chair, and suddenly, it’s all of your vision which goes entirely blurry. It’s him. That man you have seen a few months ago. That man who’s known to be Shanks, one of the emperor of the sea. You gulp and slowly start to walk again, feeling the dark stare of Mazel on your back. You promised him to be quick tonight, after all, and your boss isn’t someone you want to piss off. 

Shanks is occupied telling stories to his people, a bunch of mesmerized women invited as well, all of them looking at him as if he’s just the most appetizing treat they ever seen. You make your way to finally reach the table, securing the tray with your hands as you put it down slowly.

“Here, let me help.” The man with the ponytail says as he grabs the different plates and starts to dispose them on the table to ease your work.

“You don’t have to!” You gasp, looking over your shoulder. If Mazel sees that, you’re going to have a really hard time later.

“Benn is always ready to help, you can’t change his nature, miss.” Another voice chuckles, tearing your guts into millions of butterflies.

As the tray isn’t there to hide your face anymore, you feel the piercing eyes of Shanks looking at you with interest. You’re thankful that the tavern is really hot right now, otherwise, it would have been obvious that the reason why you’re blushing is only because he just started to talk to you.

“Are you new? I don’t remember Mazel having a young girl serving here…” Shanks asks, scratching his beard with his eternal charming smile.

“No, not new, sir.” You shake your head. “I’m just usually behind the bar. I think it’s a gift from the house so my boss wanted me to bring it to you.” You point at the dishes with your fingers.

“See,” Shanks sighs as he looks at Benn. “I should always be the one to order to the bar. I almost missed this one.”

You furiously blush, managing not to shake on your legs. You politely smile, deciding to run away before your embarrassment would become too obvious.

“Hey, miss!” Shanks shouts as you are already turning your back. “Can’t you stay for a second and have a drink with us?”

This time, you’re ready. Turning men down has been your business for a little while, and you know exactly how to proceed. You look over your shoulder, your eyes finally meeting his for the very first time. But you don’t blink, you don’t blush anymore. For a second, it’s like time itself has stopped its race. His deep blue eyes are inviting you to say yes, as if millions of mermaids are singing in a pool of sapphires, trying to convince you. But before you would drown yourself in his irises, you curl your lips into your most beautiful and self-assured smile.

“No, thank you sir. I have to work.”

Shanks tilts his head, his expression changing. If before he was playing his role of playboy, perfectly wearing his mask of seduction, now, for a second, you see something different. Your answer, somehow, has tickled something within him. As he’s still looking at you, he grabs the handle of his pint and smirks, not even adding anything. You quickly turn your head, your legs walking back in the direction of the bar. Something happened. You don’t know exactly why, but you’re sure that Shanks would never looked at you the same from now.

For the rest of the evening, you have been too focused to actually take a look on Shanks’ table. The many pirates gathered in the tavern have been rather active, and before the all of them would actually reeling to the door, ready to find a place to crash, you have never stopped working. Sighing behind your bar, you are cleaning the many empty drinks in front of you, tired and sore after such a tremendous and busy night. 

“You don’t serve anymore?” A charming voice calls in front of you, and you don’t even have to lift your stare to know that Shanks is there. But you do it. You want to see how he looks after a night of binge drinking. 

Handsome. You can’t help but smile. 

“Care for another one?” You ask as you already put an empty jug near the beer’s barrel. 

But Shanks shakes his head, while he sits on a stool and massages his temples. 

“No, thank you. It wouldn’t be reasonable, I have to deal with some business tomorrow and I need to have a clear mind.” 

You smirk and he notices it. He raises an eyebrow, giving you an amused look. 

“By any chance, are you mocking me, miss?” He giggles, resting his head against the palm on his hand. 

“A bit.” You blush, and quickly looks down, suddenly so fascinated with the dirty pints disposed on the counter. “It’s just… You don’t seem someone really reasonable in general.” 

You hear a genuine laugh escaping from his throat, his voice slightly broken because of the booze, and maybe the tiredness. You act before you even think about it ; without a word, you pour some fresh water into a glass and add a slice of lemon, sliding it on the counter. 

“Here,” you point with your nose. “For the headache.” 

Shanks grabs the glass and smiles, winking when he lifts the glass up to his face, before he immediately drinks it in one breath. You look at the drop of water hurtling down his beard, wishing that you could follow all of them with your tongue, before vividly shaking your head innerly because it’s definitely wrong. Your eyes can’t get away from his moving Adam’s apple, feeling your own mouth become dangerously dry. When Shanks puts the glass down on the counter, he notices your shifty stare, and that obvious blush on your features. But as a gentleman, he doesn’t say anything about it. 

“Thank you.” He gives you his most genuine and seductive smile, his mesmerizing eyes always watching your movements. “I was about to say miss, but… I’d rather know your name, if you don’t mind.” 

You furiously squeeze the handle of the pint you’re cleaning, feeling your heart racing. 

“Why?” You can’t help but ask. It’s useless after all… He will certain forget about you tomorrow. 

He shrugs, locks on his red hair tickling his nose as he seems more serious. 

“I want to be able to greet you properly, next I will come in town.” He says with a deeper voice. “I like this place, I need to do business not so far from here so… I will certainly be back sooner or later.” 

He sounds so careless, but somehow, you feel something hidden in the tone of his voice. Is it a sort of promise? Does he really wish to see you again? 

“Name,” you say a bit abruptly, as Shanks frowns again. “My name is Name.” 

A bright smile appears on his lips, certainly bigger than usual with all the booze he had tonight, but sincere. He nods and gets off his stool, placing his coat around his shoulders. 

“Name.” He repeats, turning his back. “That’s pretty.” 

You can’t even talk as you look at him waving at you before he walks to the door, joining his first crewmate, Benn, who seems really desperate with his captain’s behaviors. You don’t know how to think anymore. You don’t know how to breath.

But what you know is that you desperately want to see him again. 

[casualcatte]

Quiet, almost breathless humming eased through the quiet of the library accentuated every few heartbeats by the slither and tock of a book being slid home into its place on the shelves. Upon investigation, the source of the sounds was a viera of indeterminate age, but the vivaciousness in her movements and her countenance made her appear young and eager. Large, sky blue eyes scanned the shelves with a quick, knowledgeable air before making a small “aha!” sound and sliding another book home into its place on the shelf. Several books needing to be returned home sat on the table behind her.  Long, honey blond hair framed her face, one hand sweeping it absently back as she picked up another book. However, as she did so, she took notice of the new arrival and gave a bright smile. “Oh, well, hello there! Is there something in particular I can help you with?”

Without waiting for an answer, she pirouetted with such fluid agility that bespoke of, perhaps, a previous life as a dancer. Another book slid home on the shelves as she awaited an answer. Picking up another book, she held it in her hands as she once again looked at the visitor with that enormously inquisitive gaze. “You seem like you’re looking for something.”

More beyond the courtesy snip!

Notable Affiliations

These can be used as points of contact.

♦ Hyzenthlay is a librarian with the Cabinet of Curiosity in the Crystarium. 

♦ She's a known archaeologist and ruin explorer, a number of the pieces she's found on display in various places.

♦ A fair hand at tailoring and weaving, some may know her from her sensible clothing pieces upon various persons in the Crystarium.

♦ She possesses the Echo. Only to facilitate travel for her between Norvrandt and Eorzea; she's no epic hero and has no real control over such powers. Echo memories are ONLY at other players' discretion. For those who do not engage with Echo-enabled Characters, she's simply a far-traveler from Ilsabard.

What I'm Looking For...

Mostly just friendly folks to Roleplay with.  I'm not particular as to character race or background, though their interactions with Hyzenthlay and how she reacts to them will ultimately determine their fate.  I'm wholly an "organic" roleplayer; I've never liked the idea of scripted relationships or allegiances, rather letting them grow as they will based on what happens in roleplay.

Long-term, short-term, I'm perfectly content with whatever time a person has to donate.  I'm more than happy to play a bit part in plots and personal stories.  However, don't expect me to play a villain, that's not in Hyzenthlay's personality.  (Nor am I fond of playing the villain, because I'm bad at it.  )

What I'm NOT Looking For...

♦ Drama Llamas. I'm not looking for drama or people who can't keep Characters separate from Players.  What happens in roleplay is just roleplay; it has no regard or reflection on you or me as people behind the keyboard.  Please, keep that in mind. 

♦ Exclusivity. I don't expect to be anyone's sole source of RP and enjoyment, nor do I expect them to be mine. I enjoy having a robust friends list and being a social butterfly.

♦ Passive Roleplayers. If you're the kind of person that always has to be approached, has to be given stories to write, or has to be prompted constantly to RP, then I'm not the roleplayer for you. I enjoy active, engaging characters and players who have as much interest in creating the story as I do. 

These are all deal-breakers.  I don't have the time or energy these days to cope with people that can't respect these boundaries.  

I am OKAY with...

♦ In-character Conflict.  Again, see the IC=/=OOC caveat.  Just because my character doesn't like or get along with yours doesn't mean I dislike you on a personal level.

♦ In-character Dungeons/Questing.  I thoroughly enjoy mixing PVE and RP!  I like using all of the world instead of just the city or specific taverns

I'm NOT OKAY with...

♦ Roll-based Combat.  I find it boring.  I'm sorry!  That's just how I feel.  If I want to play roll-based combat, that's what my D&D nights are for.  

♦ Excessive gore, violence, sexuality, or horror.  I may be older in age, but these "mature" themes aren't something I enjoy roleplaying with any regularity.

If you have questions or would like to add me to your Friends List, please don't hesitate to contact me -- or leave your in-game contact below and I'll contact you!

About Me ♦ I’ve been roleplaying for almost 30 years now. I love discussing roleplay ideas and implementing them. I’m not worried about “spoilers” or ruining immersion by discussing and planning storylines OOC. Planning ensures that everyone has a chance to contribute ideas that are fun for *them* so everyone has a good experience.

♦ I tend to be patient with people of all roleplay styles and experiences. Just be courteous if you need to AFK mid-RP for an extended period or reschedule the scene.

♦ I am a 40+ year old woman with severe Rheumatoid Arthritis. This means I may need to cancel plans last-minute depending on my pain levels/fatigue or I may need to leave mid-scene. This is NOT an indicator of interest – or lack thereof – I have a disease that needs careful tending and I have to listen to the needs of my body before anything else.

Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday, I'm usually online from 8pm (Eastern) until whenever I decide to log out for the night.  I don't have a day job anymore, so I keep pretty strange hours.  The latter half of the week, I tend to do Real Lifey things (D&D and Hubby Date Night, woo!) so I can be pretty hit-or-miss since things come up spontaneously.

Availability & Contact Information

Timezone: GMT/UTC -5 or Central (US) Time.

I’m mostly available from 8pm to 8am, Sunday through Tuesday. Beyond that, my schedule gets pretty unpredictable and difficult to manage.By preference, I enjoy in-game RP, but if scheduling is an issue I don't mind using other methods of play like Discord or even Googledocs, whatever works best!

Discord: writerholic#1384 Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/rp_aficionado Tumblr: https://roleplay-aficionado.tumblr.com/ Pillowfort:  https://www.pillowfort.social/roleplay-aficionado

[orionsart]

Debt pt 1

Summary: after an incident in the woods you find yourself in the debt of an infamous Witcher

Words: 1588 Pairing: Geralt x femme!reader A/N: Hi hello. This is my first Witcher fic and I am in no way an expert in the series so please excuse any inconsistencies with canon. I also use my pen name instead of “Y/N” whenever the reader’s name is used.

***

The forest floor was bountiful that day. Warm sunlight peeks through the treetops as you fill a leather pouch with wild onions and mushrooms, a welcome treat after months of eating potatoes from your garden and near-rancid meat brought home from the tavern. Dirt cakes your fingernails as you dig through the underbrush to retrieve the thickest roots, and wild berries stain your skirts crimson, but you don’t care. When you’re tending bar you let your hair down, unlace your blouse and bat your eyelashes to get coin, but here in the forest your appearance doesn’t matter. 

As the day goes on and the sun grows hot you stray deeper and deeper into the forest, farther from your home than you had ever gone before. Eventually you stumble upon a crystal clear lake, tucked away behind a frame of foliage. The water looks cool and tempting. Wiping sweat from your brow you sit on a fallen tree and unlace your boots, sticking your toes in the soft silt near the edge of the pool. A quick dip, you think, there’s no one around for miles. A quick dip then I’ll head home. You quickly disrobe and remove the pin holding your hair up, leaving your clothes in a pile near the fallen tree and wading into the waist-high lake. The water is cold on your naked legs and your bare nipples harden at the change in temperature. You cup the cool water in your hand and bring your face to it before leaning back, letting the water fall through your hair and down your naked body. As you revel in the freeing and cleansing feeling you close your eyes and begin to sing. It’s a catchy tune, one you heard a pompous bard singing in the tavern a few nights ago.

“Toss a coin to your Witcher, oh valley of plenty...”

With your eyes closed you continue to bathe in the clear water, listening only to the sound of your own voice as you recount the ballad of the snow-haired vagabond you’d heard so much about. When you open your eyes you notice that a thick layer of fog has rolled in all around you, and a singular figure stands stoic at the opposite end of the lake. A pair of amber eyes shine through the mist, staring directly at - or through - you. 

A sharp gasp escapes your lips as you flinch to cover yourself, but the Butcher of Blaviken remains unfazed. Your skin flushes wine red in embarrassment and you turn around quickly to where you left your clothes, but your eyes soon spot what was actually captivating the Witcher. A spindly monster with pointed ears, lengthy talons, and gnarled teeth crouches near the fallen tree. Your knees begin to buckle beneath you and you open your mouth in a silent scream, too terrified to move or make a sound. The waves your sudden turn created ripples across the surface of the water, crashing on the shore at the monster’s feet. It opens its mouth and an unholy screech pierces the heavy silence as it pushes off from its hind legs and lunges into the pool towards you. You stumble backwards in an attempt to get away, but the lakebed is soft and slippery and your feet fall out from beneath you. The last thing you see before your skull makes contact with a submerged rock is the monster being thrown away from you by some invisible force.

***

As you regain consciousness you feel the soft familiarity of your bed beneath you. You sit up, not remembering what happened, and wince at the throbbing behind your forehead. Instinctively your hand reaches up and is met with a cloth bandage hastily wrapped around your head, sticky with blood at the temple. Suddenly the memories come flooding back; the lake, the Witcher, the monster. Looking down you see that you’re no longer naked and instead are dressed in the clothes that you had gone foraging in. Confused and a bit dizzy, you gingerly rise fully from the bed and step out of your bedroom.

You enter the front room of your small cottage to see Geralt of Rivia sitting in front of the fireplace, eyes affixed on the front door. He must have heard or sensed your entrance, because he soon turns to look at you. His golden eyes make you feel small. 

“You’re awake,” he says in a low, gravely voice that sends shivers through your body. 

You nod, too embarrassed to say much, but the words “how long was I...” manage to escape your throat.

“Hours,” is his only response, and you see through the window near the door that the sun is beginning to rise. Hours indeed - it was already the next morning. The two of you sit in a pregnant silence for what seems like minutes before he clears his throat. “I found this cabin just north of the forest. The owners must be out.” 

A sly smile creeps at the corners of your lips, but you decide not to tell him that it’s your house he brought you to. “Thank you,” you say instead, “for saving me. You didn’t have to.” He leans back in his chair, crossing his right ankle over his left knee. “Couldn’t exactly leave you to drown,” he replies, “naked in the woods, left to be found by who knows what.” 

Your cheeks grow rosy and you wrap your arms across yourself, feeling ashamed of your foolishness. “I’m in your debt,” you say, not daring to meet his eyes. His smoldering, piercing eyes.

Geralt rises from his seat and crosses towards you, looking you up and down. “What’s your name, girl.” The question is more of a command, as if to say “Tell me your name. Now.”

“Orion,” you respond meekly.

“And how exactly do you plan to repay your debt, Orion?” His low baritone makes your stomach flutter.

You think for a moment, “I can give you lodging for as long as you need. I know the owner of this cabin.” 

He raises an eyebrow, “and how do you know them?”

“She’s me,” you respond. There’s another silence before a smile cracks across Geralt’s face and he chuckles softly before walking back to his seat. As he turns away from you you notice four long tears in the back of his shirt, with gashes in his skin peeking out from underneath. “You’re wounded,” you say, stepping towards him.

“No shit,” he responds. “It’s part of the job.”

“Let me help,” you insist, heading towards the kitchen to your stash of salves and creams, “just take off what’s left of that shirt. I can mend it for you, too.” When you turn back around, medicine and a rag in one hand and a pitcher of water in the other, you see that he’s obliged. Your breath hitches at the sight of his bare arms and chest. Being a full figured woman, not many men you know are able to lift you, but Geralt is definitely more than capable. He carried you here, anyway. Part of you wishes he would wrap his thick arms around you and carry you wherever he wants.

Shaking away the thoughts, you step towards him and he shifts in his chair, giving you proper access to his back. You dip the rag in water and gently wipe the dirt and dried blood from around the wounds, then dab at the cuts with a bit of clear liquor. He inhales deeply as you do this, feeling the sting, but otherwise does not react. When the wounds are clean you apply a cooling salve, relishing in the opportunity to feel his supple skin. Unfortunately, as all good things do, this comes to an end. “They’re in an awkward spot,” you tell him, wiping your hands on your skirt, “so I can’t bandage them. But you should keep it easy until they fully heal.” Your own wound has begun to itch and you subconsciously raise a hand to the bandage to scratch it, wincing softly at the pain. 

Geralt sees you do this and lets out a low breath, grabbing a footstool from near the fireplace and dragging it in front of him. He pats it softly, beckoning for you to sit. Your heart begins to race as you sit down, the hem of your skirt resting in folds at the floor. His hands, rough and calloused as they are, are gentle as they unwrap the bandage from around your head. He takes a corner of the cloth and dips it in the pitcher of water before dabbing it at your left temple where curly tendrils of hair have fused to your bloody skin. It’s less difficult to look into his eyes when they aren’t peering into yours, and you enjoy every second of it. 

After cleaning your wound he drags his thumb down your cheek before gently cupping your chin in his hand. You hold your breath, not daring to move beneath his gaze, thinking only of the fact that this man has seen all of you. A moment later he releases you and stands, turning towards the door. “I have to tend to my horse,” he says, facing away from you.

“Is there anything else I can do for you, Geralt?” you ask, finally releasing your held breath.

Standing in the doorway, he turns over his shoulder. You see what appears to be a wry smile spread across his face. “Well, you are in my debt, Orion.”

[silverfootstepswrites]

Middle Ground [2]

Stage 2: Desert Level

“Naruto.”

“Yeah?”

“What’re you doing?”

“Chewing on a leaf.”

Sasuke pinched the bridge of his nose. “I mean... I can see that. Just... why?” he pressed. 

Naruto, sitting on a stump, stared up at him, eyes wide. “This is supposed to have medicinal properties. It’ll heal me, like a few health points, I guess,” answered Naruto. 

Sasuke stared at Naruto. Then pointed at Sakura who stood a couple feet away. Also staring. 

“Why don’t you just go to Sakura instead of chewing on a plant?”

Naruto shrugged a shoulder. “An old lady in a cave told me this would heal me a couple points. So I wanted to try it. I guess I feel a little better,” Naruto answered. 

Sasuke turned around to look at Sakura, who just shook her head. 

“Where’d you even get that?” Sasuke then pressed. 

Naruto’s expression brightened. “Oh! Off that big spider we killed yesterday.”

Sakura’s forehead wrinkled. “Why... how... How would a spider be carrying a medicinal herb?” she demanded. 

Naruto shrugged again. “In its... inventory, I guess?”

Both Sasuke and Sakura turned around to look pleadingly at Kakashi. “Do you understand him”” Sakura asked. 

“I rarely understand anything the three of you talk about,” answered Kakashi before burying his nose deeper in his battered book.

-----

Once their party united, they took the quiet merchant’s path through the forests. Where the biggest danger were the occasional mosquitoes that swarmed them whenever they passed by water. 

After several days, the terrain grew more and more rocky. And the lush carpet of moss and plants began to turn scraggly. Withering up until all that was left was stone and sand. Soon, even those plants disappeared, and they found themselves on the edge of a massive desert. 

“We don’t have the supplies for this,” Neji warned as they surveyed the area. 

“And where are we even going anyway?” Sakura then demanded, turning to Naruto. 

“Oh, shit. Did I not show you the map?” Naruto replied. He set his pack down to pull a map from inside. It was made of tattered parchment. He glanced around before Sasuke pointed at a slab of rock jutting out of the ground. Nodding, Naruto walked over to it to spread the map open. Everyone followed to look at it. 

“So, we’re... here,” Naruto said. He pointed to a spot on the map. Neji leaned over to nudge Naruto’s finger into the right spot. Naruto gave a sheepish laugh.  Sakura pinched the bridge of her nose. 

“And we gotta go all the way up to the Deadman’s Peak,” explained Naruto. The tip of his finger traced a path through the desert, through a stretch of blue, and then up a jagged mountain range on the other side. “There’s an ancient temple that’s supposed to house a portal to the Abyss.” 

“And once we’re there, what do we do? ‘Hey there, Demon King’ and-” Tenten interrupted. And then she made a jabbing gesture as she blew a raspberry. Neji snorted beside her. 

“Well, no. I’m supposed to get some legendary weapon along the way. It’s at the bottom of the Sleeping Gulf,” Naruto recited as he recalled some sort of prophecy. 

“Naruto,” Sakura called. 

Eyes bright, Naruto lifted his head to look at her. “Yeah, Sakura?”

“Isn’t the Sleeping Gulf a sea?” she inquired. She pointed at the looping letters that spelled out the name. 

Naruto glanced down at her finger, then back up at her face to nod. “Yep.”

Just to confirm that she wasn’t losing her mind, Sakura looked over her shoulder at the rest of the party. Neji shook his head, as if to warn her that it was pointless to have this conversation. Kisame also made a face as he squinted down at the map. Sasuke didn’t give her any sort of reaction- just stared off into the distance.

“Naruto, can you swim?” Sakura queried. 

Naruto gave a cheerful “nope”, lips popping at the end of the word. 

Sakura nodded a little. “Okay, well, do you have some kind of artifact to get us there, then?”

Naruto shook his head. Normally, this was the part where Sasuke made a sarcastic remark. Oddly enough, he remained silent. Instead, he began very slowly rubbing his temples.

Sakura nodded again. “Fine. Last question.”

“Uh-huh?”

“Then what are we supposed to do?” questioned Sakura, a sweet smile curving her lips. 

Naruto shrugged. “I figured someone would come up with a plan. This kind of stuff always just works out, right?” he replied. 

As Sasuke’s expression turned murderous, Kakashi, who had read the warning signs in his face, seized him by the back of the cloak. At the same time, Sakura grabbed his hand before he had a chance to grab an arrow from the quiver on his back. 

“Okay. Just wanted to make sure we were on the same page,” Sakura declared in a light voice. 

“He’s gonna get us killed,” Sasuke growled. 

“I know. I know,” Sakura sighed. She used her other hand to pat his back.

They both looked up when they felt a hand clap down on their shoulders. It was Kisame, who gave them a smile. 

“I saw a town a few miles back. Let’s get drunk,” he suggested. 

“Fine,” Sasuke agreed right away. 

“Tenten, let’s go!” Sakura called over her shoulder as she followed after them. 

“Wait for me!” Naruto yelled, scrambling to fold his map up. 

They got uproariously drunk. The kind of drunk where the room started to spin when they turned their heads too fast. 

“Tenten,” Sakura said, patting the back of the other woman’s hand. 

“Yeah?” A smile on her lips, Tenten turned to her. “What?”

“I’m...” Sakura paused to hiccup and then tried again. “I’m so glad you’re here.” And then she leaned in closer. Tenten copied her. 

“I mean, like.... do you- do you see what I have to put up with?” Sakura added. And then both of them looked over at Naruto attempting to chug down an entire tankard of ale. This wouldn’t have been that impressive had they not noticed the five empty tankards sitting beside him. His feat had gathered a small crowd of spectators. A roar of approval rose when Naruto banged his tankard on the table and demanded another. 

Across from Naruto sat Kisame, who was the loudest voice encouraging him to keep drinking. Sasuke sat beside Naruto, still scowling. The plus side was that he didn’t seem intent on attacking Naruto anymore. Asuma had struck up a conversation with a troupe of traveling musicians on the other side of the tavern. His easy smile made it easy for him to ingratiate himself with almost anyone, Sakura had noticed. Kakashi sat in a corner where he had a clear view of both everyone in their party and the door. 

Sakura’s eyes returned to Naruto when she heard him cough. He sputtered on his drink, drawing more laughter and some jeers as they urged him to finish. She wondered whether they had a tab riding on what seemed to be a rather intense competition. 

“The bartender says that if someone vomits, we need to clean it up,” Neji announced as he set more drinks down in front of them. 

“Lovely,” muttered Tenten. And then she shared a snicker with Neji as they stole glances at the grizzled old man staring at them from behind the bar. Sakura barely even noticed this interaction as she heard Naruto slam down his empty drink. Another cheer rose from the crowd that had gathered around his table on the other side of the room.

Sakura continued watching a little longer before she raised her right hand. Her holy symbol hung from a golden chain that she kept wrapped around her forearm. It was probably meant to be worn around the neck, but she preferred it closer to her hand. Plus, the gold eagle was a beautiful work of craftsmanship. 

Tenten’s eyes followed her as she cast a little spell. Sparkles appeared around the tankards that had just arrived at Naruto’s table. None of the people who grabbed the drinks seemed to notice anything unusual. 

“What was that?” asked Tenten. 

“I purified their drinks. It’ll taste the same, but there’s no alcohol in them,” Sakura explained. She watched as Naruto and Kisame each took huge gulps. Their eyes locked and they both began chugging as quickly as possible. “That should keep them from getting too drunk. For now,” she added. 

“Cool. Could you do that for ours, too?” Tenten then queried. 

Sakura turned her attention to their tankards. 

“I mean, yeah, I could,” she admitted. 

“Well don’t. We need to get more drunk,” Tenten then instructed. She grabbed the handle of her drink. Laughing, Sakura lifted hers to knock it against Tenten’s. And then they looked at Neji, waiting. He heaved a sigh, a smile crossing his face as he obliged them with a knock of his drink too.

After another hour or so, Tenten complained of a headache and went to get some air. Before Sakura could suggest that Neji go with her, he turned to give her a pointed look. 

“Go. Go,” she urged him with flaps of her hand. Neji hesitated to look around the room. He locked eyes with Kakashi before he looked at Sakura. Kakashi dipped his head. And then Neji was out of his chair to hurry after Tenten, who apparently was prone to starting fights when she drank too much. 

Sakura watched him, a smirk on her lips. She hadn’t understood what Sasuke had meant all those weeks back. Why would Tenten be the reason why Neji was so tolerant of other races? Elves, especially sun elves, were well-known for their superiority complex. It was the sort of arrogance that rubbed most people the wrong way. But after spending every day together with them, Sakura finally got it. Caught the way his gaze lingered on her. How he smiled just listening to her speak. She wondered whether Tenten had any idea of the elf’s complete infatuation with her. 

“Well hello there, pretty lady.”

Sakura clicked her tongue as someone sat down across from her.

Across the room, Kisame’s head perked up as he heard the slurred pick-up line. Sakura had the expression of someone trying to ignore a mosquito whining in her ear. In front of her sat one of the bar’s other patrons, who had been quietly sitting by himself up until now. As he leaned in to speak, Sakura wrinkled her nose.

Kisame slammed his tankard down. Wiping the foam on his mouth with the back of his hand, he got out of his chair. But as he took a step forward, he saw both Sasuke and Naruto shaking their heads. 

“Don’t bother. It’s faster if she handles it,” Naruto assured him.  

“Five gold that she sends him flying across the room,” Sasuke bet. 

“Nah. She’s gonna set his cloak on fire,” insisted Naruto. And when they both noticed Kisame still standing, they motioned for him to sit. Grunting, Kisame eased back down in his seat, glaring.

Across the room, Sakura heaved a sigh. She had tried telling her unwelcome companion that she was waiting for her friends to return. And that she wasn’t interested in any more company. But the man just went on rambling about himself, her beauty, and mostly himself.

As she began to feel a headache building in her temples, Sakura spoke again: “Hey. Buddy.”

“Yeah, angel?”

Sakura finally looked up, resting her chin in her hand. “How about you go fuck yourself?” she suggested with a sweet smile. And then she opened her mouth to release a flood of black insects. 

“Holy fuck!” the man exclaimed, stumbling backwards. 

A few of the tavern’s other patrons jumped out of their seats too until they saw that the insects only followed the man as he ran around the room. Some grumbled as he knocked into their tables, sloshing their drinks. As the bugs caught up to him, they began biting his neck, his hands, even his face. Screaming, he burst out of the tavern, coughing when some of the bugs flew into his mouth.

He took off into the night, squeals of terror mingling with the fading buzz of insect wings. 

Sakura closed her mouth. A funny look crossed her face. She spat out one last bug into her hand. It gave a pitiful whine as it took off into the air, trying to catch up to the rest of the horde. 

Naruto and Kisame roared with laughter, fists banging against the table. Sasuke smirked as he took another gulp of his alcohol. He scooted over as Sakura settled in beside him. 

“I’m curious about something,” Kisame suddenly said. Everyone looked at him. 

“If that’s what he gets on the first date, what does he get on the second?”

Naruto burst into hysterical giggles. Sakura kept a straight face for about five seconds before she threw her head back and laughed too. 

When Tenten and Neji re-entered the room a couple minutes later, they found Sakura and Naruto both howling with laughter. Naruto banged his fists on the table. Sakura sat with her head pillowed on her arms, just her back shaking. It almost looked like she was crying until she lifted her head and they could see her bright red cheeks.

“You should’ve told him to buzz off,” Kisame suggested. This was evidently not the first pun he had unleashed because Sasuke groaned, his forehead hitting the table. 

The following morning, their party was back on the road. Although Tenten and Asuma winced a little at the sunlight, they seemed to otherwise be in fine shape. Even Naruto, who had earned death glares from the barkeep for drinking an entire cask, was sprightly as they headed down the dirt path. 

Kisame squinted at Naruto’s back. And then he hung back a little to fall into step with Sakura. She shook her head when he offered his canteen of water. 

“So.... Doc,” he said. 

“Yeah?”

“You seem kind of winded,” Kisame began. 

“Do I?” Sakura answered with a smile. 

But Kisame went on. “Yeah. Almost like you’re tired from casting some kind of healing spell on all of us or something,” he observed. 

Sakura looked away from him. But she glanced back when he didn’t say anything else. He was studying her. Black eyes narrowed as he seemed to measure her. 

“Why would you burn a spell slot for something like that?” he wondered. 

It was Sakura’s turn to give him a look. 

“Is wanting my friends to not suffer weird to you?” she asked in return, scowling. Kisame stood dumbfounded as she trudged on. But then she glanced over her shoulder at him to add: “Besides, Sasuke whines non-stop when he’s hungover. Come on. We’re falling behind.”

-----

It took a full day to stock up on all the supplies they would need to travel through the desert wasteland. Once they ventured onto the hot sand, the complaints began. The only exception was Sasuke. As a fire genasi, he was part flame and therefore unbothered by any additional heat. His lack of discomfort offended Sakura, who spared no opportunity to glare at him. 

“Sasuke,” she called. 

“Yeah?” he heaved a sigh. Already rolling his eyes. 

“I just wanted to let you know, from the bottom of my heart, I hate you right now,” she informed him. She squinted up at the sun, then at Sasuke’s sweat-free form. 

“Thank you for that update,” he responded, not looking back at her. 

“If we have to kill one more poisonous snake, I’m gonna lose my mind,” grumbled Kisame, wiping sweat from his brow. 

“You know, if you remove the venom sacs correctly, those are pretty tasty,” Sasuke pointed out, gesturing to the long corpses strewn across the sand. 

Sakura stifled a giggle as Kisame grumbled where Sasuke could shove those venom sacs. But that laugh disappeared as they felt a rumble under their feet. The ground beneath them began to shift. Slowly, they could see scales. Gleaming eyes. Sharp fangs. 

They scrambled backward, grasping for weapons as a gigantic snake rose from its hiding place in the sand. It opened its mouth to let out a hiss. 

“....Well... shit,” Kakashi muttered. Before anyone could talk strategy, Naruto charged at the enormous serpent, greataxe swinging through the air. 

“I like your style, kid!” roared Kisame, charging right after him. 

Groaning, Sasuke turned to Sakura to share at least one commiserating look. Instead, he found her chasing Naruto, trying to grab him so she could cast resistance over him. When he jumped out of her reach, Sakura ground her back molars together. 

“Ah, screw it,” Sakura snapped. She extended her hand, holy symbol glowing as she conjured a spiritual weapon. Which was a spear that jabbed into the side of the snake. It let out a shriek of agony as purple blood spurting from the wound. 

“Nice!” laughed Naruto as he brought his axe down on the snake’s tail. 

The fight itself wasn’t so difficult. It ended rather cleanly with Naruto severing its head from the rest of its body. All was well until a young dragon stumbled out of its cave, drawn by the smell of blood. It opened its mouth to spray their party with fire. Tenten and Sasuke easily leapt out of the way. So did Kakashi and Asuma. Naruto was close enough that he grabbed Sakura and raised his shield just in time to protect them from the blast of heat. 

But the flames engulfed Neji’s arm and shoulder as he dodged a second too late. Kisame grabbed him by the cloak and yanked him out of the way. He threw him to the ground, smacking his hair and clothes to put out the flames.

“Asuma, back me up!” Tenten called as she rolled out from behind her cover to throw several knives at the dragon. Some bounced harmlessly off the tough hide. One burrowed into the soft spot on its throat. It roared in response.

“Got it!” yelled Asuma in return. 

“Naruto, get me to Neji,” Sakura said, shaking his arm a little. Without hesitation, Naruto grabbed her and threw her as hard as he could across the sand. She collided with Kisame’s back. She didn’t have time to apologize as she shoved past him. 

Neji grit his teeth, good hand clenching into the sand. Through the singed fabric of his shirt, she could see his skin- red and shiny. Already blistering where it had come into contact with the flames. They could hear the dragon unleash another roar as it swiped its claw out toward them. Sasuke’s swords slashed down onto its foot. A shriek filled the air as the beast turned on Sasuke instead, momentarily distracted.

“This is gonna hurt,” Sakura warned. Before Neji could ask, she placed her hand on his raw skin and recited the spell that would knit his skin back together. The downside was that meant that all his nerve endings regrew together along with his skin. Sakura knew first-hand how excruciating it could be. Which was why Sakura was unsurprised when Neji cried out. 

The dragon, which had been bashing the ground with a spiked tail, froze. Smoke puffing from its nostrils, it turned back toward them. 

“Fuck fuck fuck- Sakura! Look out!” Naruto shouted.

As the scales around the dragon’s throat began to glow, Sakura could see more smoke billowing from its mouth. Throwing her hand up, she drew on her magic to cast a command spell on it. She wasn’t even sure whether the spell had taken hold before she screamed, “STOP!” as loudly as she could.

And for a moment, the dragon froze. It stood there, glaring at her with bloodshot eyes. 

“Cool. My turn!”

The dragon turned in the direction of the voice right in time for Naruto’s javelin to pierce its right eye. The screech that left its mouth made Sakura’s ears ring. 

“Alright. Time to go, folks,” Kakashi announced, shuffling away from the dragon. 

“Naruto, you idiot! Warn us before you pull shit like this!” Sasuke howled. He grabbed a fistful of Asuma’s shirt and hauled him to his feet. 

“Sorry!” Naruto yelled right back as he fled.

Sakura’s gaze flickered from the enraged dragon to Neji still lying in the sand. As she tried to figure out how best to move him, Kisame scooped her up and tossed her over his shoulder. At the same time, he did the same for Neji and threw him over his other shoulder. And then he began running as fast as he could. 

A column of swirling flame erupted from the dragon’s jaws.

“Run faster!” she yelped, slapping Kisame’s back. But even as he raced across the sand, she could see the tongues of flames drawing closer and closer. Squeezing her eyes shut, she cast a shield around Kisame, praying that it would be enough to protect all three of them.

“Shit!” Sakura exclaimed as the flash of heat burned across her hand. The falcon emblem fell from her grasp, landing in the sand.  But besides the stinging in her palm, everything else seemed alright. When she squeezed one eye open, she understood why. 

Neji, barely conscious, had managed to conjure a sleet storm over the beast. As the snow and rain pelted the sand, they extinguished the flame. The dragon scrabbled for purchase on the slick ice that had covered the sand. It huffed more fire as it struggled to gain its footing. But after a moment, it skid on a particularly slick patch and fell to the ground. 

“Eat shit, dragon tits!” Tenten howled as she raised her crossbow and unleashed a bolt in the dragon’s direction. The scaly beast writhed as the bolt drove deep into its side. 

“Kill it! I’m almost out of spell slots!” Sakura called to no one in particular. 

“Dibs!” Naruto whooped as he raised his greataxe. 

“Put your back into it, kid!” Kisame reminded him. And then, a moment later, Kisame added in a smaller voice, “Oh, shit, the ice.”

“Oh,” Sakura and Neji both said. 

Everyone watched as Naruto slipped. His momentum sent him barreling straight into the dragon, the blade of his axe plunging into the moaning creature’s  chest. 

“Oh, nevermind. That was good,” Sakura sighed with relief. 

“OW!”

With its final breath, the dragon mustered enough energy to smash its tail into Naruto’s chest, knocking him to the ground. 

“... sort of,” Sakura amended. 

Everyone waited to make sure that the dragon had stopped moving before they slowly began moving. Tenten hunted down the weapons she had dropped in her hurry. And once she had collected those, she climbed atop the fallen beast to wrench her knives from its leathery flesh. 

“Owwww. Sakuraaaa. Fix me!” Naruto whined, waving a hand in no particular direction. The front of his shirt was soaked dark red as his blood soaked through. It couldn’t have been anything too serious from the way he was both conscious and speaking. But Sakura still didn’t feel like risking it. 

“Do you want me to take you over there?” asked Kisame. 

Sakura glanced at him. She had forgotten that she was still flopped over Kisame’s shoulder. She noticed a faint scar running along the side of his neck, all the way from behind his ear, disappearing into his shirt. 

“Nah. This one’s verbal. I don’t have to touch him,” she replied.

Closing her eyes, Sakura muttered the healing prayer that she had learned many years ago. Green light encased her hand. As the divine energy flowed through her, the red streak on her hand shrunk and faded. And from on top of the melting ice, she heard Naruto inform her, “Thanks, Sakura! I’m good!”

Kisame looked from Sakura to Neji. He scratched his nose as he thought. And then he said, “You know, you guys can get down now.”

“Don’t feel like it,” Sakura responded. 

“Your shoulder is really comfortable,” Neji agreed. 

Glowering, Kisame shrugged and sent both of them tumbling into the sand. 

By the time they’d gathered their things (and Kakashi, for some reason, had harvested some of the dragon’s teeth of all things), it was time to start thinking about setting up camp. Kakashi started a fire while Asuma went to explore the dragon’s cave to see if they could take shelter inside. As Sasuke went looking for water, Sakura patted her bare wrist. She searched her pockets. 

“Ah, shit, I think I lost my holy symbol,” she announced. 

Naruto’s ears perked up. Throwing his head back, he cupped his hands around his mouth.

“Sasuke!” he shouted at the top of his lungs. 

Tenten snorted, hand on her hips. “Naruto, there’s no way he’ll hear you.” 

Ignoring her, Naruto tried again. Louder this time. “SASUKE!”

And then, there was a faint reply from far away. 

“What?!”

Kisame let out a snort. Neji shook his head in disbelief. 

“Sakura lost her holy symbol!”

There was a pause. And then Sasuke called, “Her what?”

Naruto wrinkled his nose. “Her necklace, stupid!”

There was an even longer pause. 

“Then find it, stupid!”

Naruto tilted his head to one side as he considered that. “Oh yeah.” And then he spun around once, staring at the sand surrounding them on all sides. 

“Where’d you last have your necklace thingy, Sakura? Sakura?”

Naruto turned back around to find Sakura squatting in the sand, her head in her hands. He rushed over to her. 

“Are you alright? Are you sick? Is it because you don’t have your god necklace?” babbled Naruto, shaking her shoulder. It took Sakura a long time to raise her head. And when she did, she was pinching the bridge of her nose between her fingers. 

“Naruto.”

“Yeah?”

“....If I knew where I had my symbol last, do you think it would still be lost?” she questioned slowly. Patiently. 

Naruto tilted his head to the other side, taking a long time to think. And then he looked at Sakura to shrug. “I don’t know. I’m not the one who lost it,” he answered. He looked bewildered as Kisame walked past to slap him a high five. Naruto’s confusion lasted for all of five seconds before he looked over and saw that Sakura was gone. He spotted her disappearing over a dune of sand, Tenten and Neji running not far behind her. 

“Hey! Wait up!” Naruto yelled. He grabbed the sleeve of Kisame’s tunic as he took off. 

“Why are you dragging me too?” demanded Kisame, scrambling to keep up with him. 

“It’s not fair if Sakura gets a buddy and I don’t. Duh,” Naruto answered before he continued on in his mad dash through the sand. Kisame toyed with the idea of gnawing his own arm off to escape before he sighed and decided to follow along. 

They scoured the sands for several minutes. It was easy to see where they’d been from the corpses of snakes littering their path. Some of them were missing. There were plenty of hungry scavengers in the desert who were probably glad for a free meal. Tenten kicked one of the snakes aside to check underneath.

“Dude, help me move this,” said Naruto, pointing at a giant boulder. Neji stared at him. 

“Why would it be under there?” demanded Neji. 

Naruto rubbed the side of his nose. “Dunno. Maybe it crawled under there? With god powers? Can it do that?”

Neji just continued staring at him. But Naruto started to really think now. 

“Hey, Sakura, can your holy thing move on its own? Is it, like, alive?” wondered Naruto. 

“I think Naruto’s saying something,” Tenten pointed out. Sakura straightened, dusting sand from her hands. 

“Just ignore him. He’ll stop eventually,” muttered Sakura in return. 

“Oh. There it is. Right by your foot,” Naruto pointed out a little while later. Sakura followed his finger. She squinted until she saw a little glint of gold next to Kisame’s boot.

For some reason, Kisame hesitated. His eyes darted from the gleaming symbol to Naruto. But when Sakura took a step forward, Kisame held out his hand to stop her.

“It’s alright. I got it,” Kisame assured her. He grabbed it and handed it over to her. Sakura accepted it with a smile. But as he turned away, he flexed his hand. Clenching and unclenching his fingers. Forehead wrinkling, Sakura began to wonder about it before she heard Naruto call her name.

“It’s gonna get dark. Let’s go back!” Naruto urged. 

Sakura hesitated for one last second. Feeling her stare, Kisame glanced over his shoulder at her. His eyes sharpened for a moment as he caught her gaze. Sakura didn’t look away as she thought. Slowly, she offered him a smile. 

“Let’s go, big guy,” she said. 

After a moment, Kisame smiled, too. “Sure, Doc,” he replied.

They turned around and headed back in the direction of their camp for the night.

[ny-writes]

Commission -Cole/OC

Commission for @handfulajake of their Inquisitor, Tobias, and Cole, from Dragon Age: Inquisition! Just fluff. 1.5k words

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Cole had spent a long time watching humans, feeling their pain, almost studying them. He understood well how to ease their sadness and hurt, but was not as familiar with the other emotions and feelings that they experienced. The lightness in the Iron Bull’s heart when he looked at the mage, Dorian, was a mystery, something he has never experienced and at times felt he would never truly understand. How could humans tell the difference between love and mere friendship, and how similar were the two? The love of a parent and child was quite different from the love of a husband and wife, and it was difficult for him to differentiate between the many different kinds of affection humans could have for each other. 

Several weeks before, he had noticed a difference in the Inquisitor’s thoughts around him. He was more affectionate, more caring, it seemed. And soon after that, it was like his friend was avoiding him, though he couldn’t figure out why. If Tobias cared more about him, why not spend more time with him?

These were his thoughts as he stood alone, walking the walls of Skyhold and gazing at the beautiful mountains surrounding the fortress. Occasionally he would be passed by a soldier, always hurrying to and fro, and he paid them little mind, lost in his own head. This was a rare occurrence; he spent much of his time with his attention on the hurt of those around him, and the ability to focus on something else for the time being was a blessing.

Footsteps came up the stairs behind him and for a moment Cole thought it to be another soldier, but he was almost surprised to see the Inquisitor - knowing him by his mind before he saw the man. “Hello, Tobias,” Cole said, voice sounding somewhat distracted. “You haven’t come to see me in a little while.” This was said without resentment, only concern. They had spent some time together, before suddenly he stopped coming to visit the spirit’s favorite spot on the top floor of the tavern. 

People tended not to like when he pointed out their fears, so Cole refrained from doing so, but he could sense something peculiar lurking below the surface of his friend’s thoughts, different than his usual undertone of hope, the sincere belief that everything was going to be okay. This almost seemed like a fear or anxiety, which Cole felt was unlike Tobias. It was difficult to make out what this anxiety could be over, however. Perhaps he had some bad news, or was worried Cole would be upset with him? It was hard to tell if either of those was correct at all.

“Hey, Cole,” Tobias began, and hesitated before continuing, “Sorry about not visiting, I’ve just been dealing with . . . a lot recently.” 

Cole understood - of course he did, as a spirit of compassion - the way the Inquisitor felt. They both were often consumed with the worries and hurts of others who gave nothing in return, if they were even aware of the things done for them, but neither could begrudge the people of the Inquisition for this. It was a part of righting the wrongs in the world, and much of the reason they respected each other and enjoyed spending time together. 

He nodded and Tobias joined him, leaning against the battlements but still maintaining some distance between them. “Of course. Is everything okay?” Cole asked this sincerely, though he already knew that the answer was no - it just seemed that people became uncomfortable when he didn’t ask and instead told. 

“Like I said, I’ve just been dealing with a lot. It can be difficult, being the leader of such a large organization. I’m just glad I can help people, and I have companions I can rely on. I actually came up here because I was looking for you,” Tobias said. “I wanted to apologize for not coming to see you, but I couldn’t find you at the tavern so I asked around to see where you were.”

Cole smiled at him a little sadly, knowing that that was only a partial truth but unwilling to press his friend about it. “It’s fine. You can come see me whenever you want,” he said, reassuring the sudden fear he’d sensed in the man about being unwelcome. “I’m not angry with you, Tobi.” He found it profoundly strange, having this conversation that he’d seen and heard other people do, but had never participated in. People so often treated him like a child that they forgot he was capable of holding a conversation just like anyone else. He often felt like the only people that respected him as an individual were Tobias, Varric, and Solas, though the latter saw him as a spirit only, when that had not been the truth for a long time.

Tobias beamed at him and something seemed to squeeze in his heart, not an uncommon occurrence around the man. Was it friendship? His other friends were different, though. “Would you like to walk with me?” Tobias offered, gesturing to the wall that they stood on. “I’ve been meaning to check in with the merchants and Dennet. I want to make sure he has everything for the horses that he needs.”

Together, they walked back down the stairs and across the courtyard toward the merchants, Cole occasionally picking up on a snippet of fear or pain from someone they passed. Once, they stopped around a fire so that they would speak with a wounded man, and when they resumed their walk, Cole knew that he appreciated the compassion and that his fire for the Inquisition was reinvigorated. The merchants had their petty complaints, but Tobias listened to them like they were as important as anything else, and Cole smiled and complemented their wares, and soon enough they were at the stables, and he tended to the horses that needed attention while Tobias discussed feed and tack and repairs need for the barn. 

Before too long, they were sitting together in the hayloft, on a platform of hay that it seemed Blackwall had been using as a living space.

“I admire how you listen to everyone, no matter how small the need,” Cole said, breaking the comfortable silence that had fallen over them. “It makes them feel important and needed, that someone like the Inquisitor will pay attention to how they feel.”

Tobias smiled and Cole for a moment was lost in the way his eyes, mismatched but delightful, crinkled at the corners. “That’s the idea. I want to give people hope, I want them to believe in me and the Inquisition. You do well with that, as well - being able to pinpoint people’s insecurities and reassure them must come in handy.”

Silence grew once more, both lost in thought, until Cole decided to voice the thoughts he had been having since earlier in the day, and if truth be told, for several weeks before. “How do you tell the difference between all the kinds of affection?” he asked carefully. 

Tobias frowned, but it was clear he was simply thinking about the question. “Well, there’s the love that family has for each other, and the love between friends, and that’s like, the desire to care for the person. To make sure they’re okay, and provide for them, and spend time with them. And then there’s the love between, well, lovers, and that’s similar, but with more components. With someone you love like that, it’s more of a romantic love - you want to kiss them, and be near them, and you trust them at your most vulnerable. That kind of love can be hard for people to accept that they feel, sometimes, and . . .” He trailed off as he realized Cole was shaking his head.

“I know that,” Cole explained. “I mean, how do you tell the difference? How do you know if you love someone as a friend or in a romantic way?”

“Well, I think it can be difficult to figure that out,” Tobias mused. “I would say that you know it’s romantic love when you get butterflies in your stomach when they touch you or look at you or smile. With your friends and family that you love, you don’t go through a nervous patch when you realize how you feel, but when you love someone romantically, it’s normal to be nervous at first, or to be afraid they won’t feel the same way.”

Cole was satisfied with that explanation more so than the first one, and as he thought on that, he noticed a strange look pass over Tobias’s face. Then, faster than he could process, the man leaned in and kissed him, chaste and sweet, and before he knew it Cole was following his mouth with his own as Tobias drew back to kiss him again.

Tobias made a surprised noise and they both sat back, regarding each other in a new light. Cole was the first to talk once more. “I’d never been kissed before. It was nice,” he said softly.

“Perhaps we should do it again, then,” Tobias whispered, seeming almost in awe. 

Cole smiled carefully and murmured, “Maybe so. I’d like that, I think.”