#whenever someone misgenders me hes literally the first one to go ' !!! hes a guy !! he uses he / him >:/ !!!! ' | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

7fckingidiots · 4 years ago

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Would you be alright with writing some HCs about the brothers and a MC who's a trans guy? Sorry if it's a tall order or too vague, they're a big comfort for me and I'd like to see what ideas you have bcs your headcanons are fantastic ;w;

HELL YEAH DUDE!!!! IM ALSO TRANS!!! AH!!!!! demigirl rights :3 but i also find a huge comfort in the boys and i hc all of them as trans because no one can Stop Me •• but i really hope you enjoy these and remember you’re valid and i care u so much! Also i hope you don’t mind but i kinda made it gender neutral so every trans folk could enjoy!

The Brothers With A Trans MC

Lucifer

He didn’t know until you came out to him honestly. He knew all his other siblings were trans but with all the work Diavolo gave him and adding new students from different realms on top of that he hadn’t really had time to notice any minor changes in you.

He feels guilty about this and immediately makes sure(like everyone else)to ask for your pronouns, name, and how you would like to present yourself from now on.

Fixes your ID cards and your papers with Diavolo right after dinner

God. He’s such a dad and he gets you things that have your new name on them. You wake up to see you have a new pencil case with your name embroidered on it with matching pencils. God.....he’s so weird i love him so much

Asmo does most of your clothing shopping but for formal wear he takes you shopping! He’s not about to buy you some cheap tux or gown ok it’s gonna be over 2000 grim and he’s gonna get you three of them STOP HIM

He’s not the best with verbal affection so he writes down notes that are like “you looked very handsome/pretty today.” or when he first starts writing them they’re like “you’re a boy/girl/kid. i’m proud of you.” Thank u mr morningstar

You want surgery or to start hormones??? He will stop all his work with Diavolo and spend forever looking up things for you, he wants you to be as safe as possible(pls he almost fainted after he realized you’d have to give yourself a shot like everyday dhdhdhjdhd hc that demons/angels don’t have to do hormone therapy i’m so JEALOUS)

Practices saying your pronouns in his study when you first come out. He just wants to make sure you feel as safe as possible in his care(and he remembers how terrible it felt to be misgendered)

Guess what....he loves you no matter what :)

Mammon

You’re blind as hell if you couldn’t see his top scars but I respect it

King DOES slip up on your pronoun change but always immediately corrects himself. Satan has a spray bottle that he sprays Mammon with when he does it. Mammon is NOT amused but the same can’t be said for Belphie.

Gender affirming activities??? Oh yeah like robbing a bank?? That’s pretty gender neutral and trans right?? Yeah!!! Wow such a good supportive brother.

If you want you can wear the formal wear Lucifer bought you to the said bank heist. Boom trans rights

You can practice painting his nails or doing his makeup if you’re too nervous to do it on yourself first!! Dw if it’s bad he also can’t do makeup or paint nails so once you let him return the favor you’re both laughing and Asmo is distraught.

KING at dying hair he will get you whatever you need and if you want an entire different hair cut entirely he’s ON it

Very used to being Loud and Brash but if you need someone to talk to about anything really he always calms down and sits down to listen to whatever you have to say.

Lots of gendered gifts from him. This said for men??? Oh ok adds to cart. Oh pink??? For ladies??? yeah that can go in there too

You’re never gonna believe this.....But he loves you and supports you :)

Levi

He was the first one to come out to you at the house!! He was just so excited! Same hat!!!

Gets literally any video game where you can design the protag/have custom pronouns and will play games like that with you for hours

Would you like a pride flag.....for u.....He has too many.....Please take the trans flag please he has no room....he bought in bulk for a pride event and didn’t consider the consequences of his actions

Miku binder but irl. He will get if for you but unironically.....thanks King. He just likes binders with patterns and i respect IT

Dysphoria?? He gives you his hoodie bc that was his trademark dysphoria hoodie and i GUESS for you he can share............he would give u anything just ask nicely he’s sensitive

Reads any character that matches up with your gender and is like!!!!! That’s you!!!! OMG!!!! You in da IRL

Goes back and edits his tweets if they use your old name or pronouns(also has he/they in his bio. this is for nothing just makes me :D)

If you haven’t chosen your name he’s gonna suggest so many fictional characters. POV levi kin assigns you.

You listen to music together that just has Trans Vibes.....maybe u cry together but there’s no judgment!! It’s just nice :)

God it’s wild but! He loves u and thinks ur great :)

Satan

Enby Satan. That’s all :)

He’s very quite about it, he supports you! He’s just not loud like his brothers

He brings you book about gender studies and LGBTQ history that he thinks would interest you(there some of his favorite books and they’ve made him feel the most comfortable in his gender)

Gives you a name list if you haven’t named yourself yet! He cares about you and wants to make sure you have the right name that suits you

He’s the one that tells you that it’s ok if you’re still figuring it all out, learning about yourself is a very tricky process and if anyone knows that it’s Satan

Any of the brothers would kill anyone who misgendered you but with Satan that shit is ON SIGHT

Asks you how you know and what were the signs that gave it away to you, but only if you’re comfortable telling him!! He just finds everyone’s experience interesting and would like to know yours as well.

Spells for fucking DAYS Satan personally kills body dysphoria the best he can(mainly bc he’s HIGHKEY afraid of you getting surgery he hates knives so much)

Makes your comfort food for you when you’re feeling down about yourself and will read whatever you want to hear outloud to you.

!!!!!! GET THIS !!!!!! He loves YOU :0

Asmo

Fucking excited!!!! This means you two are going to buy so much clothing together and he gets to style you let’s GO

Buys you whatever you want but he will make you try it all on so be CAREFUL what u wish for.....ur gonna be there till the store closes yeah......

Paints your nails with the trans pride flag!! Also does your makeup and gives you tips on how to look more masculine or fem!!

VOICE LESSONS

He will help you lower or raise the pitch of your voice if it KILLS him. It eventually becomes like a mini class after school

Helps with internalized transphobia! Hes dealt with his fair share and knows how awful it can be and he will NOT being having you experience that as well we r practicing Self Care now

Picks apart any one who misgenders you until they’re crying he has NO fucking time for that behavior in this HOUSE

Sometimes self care is eating whatever you want and sitting in the dysphoria hoodies while watching chick flicks with Asmo

He likes dressing you up but he’s always sure to set boundaries so he never puts you into something that makes you feel uncomfortable

ALSO edits his posts and takes down anything that makes you uncomfortable!!

He loves you so much!!!!

Beel

another one to hand you The Dysphoria Hoodie and it’s very large and comfy!

he’ll help you make out a work out routine that will help you get the body you want and it makes him really happy to work out with you :)

he’s gonna hold your hand if you have to take shots and will give you puppy eyes if you don’t let him. He’s just worried!!!! He wants to help

stands behind you whenever you’re nervous about coming out to someone, he will NOT have someone making you feel bad or misgendering you

he’ll see food with trans pride colors and gives it too you, probably doesn’t even know what it is half the time but it made him think of you so he makes sure to get it for you

he doesn’t trip up on any of your new pronouns or name and makes it seem like he never even knew them. dead name???? what’s that??? a type of sauce?????

will let you vent to him whenever needed and will always make you a sundae after you’ve finished. it’s comically huge but it’s tasty and does make you feel a lot better, thanks beel

makes sure you remember to take off your binder if you’ve been wearing it for more than eight hours! and if you’ve been wearing heels to feel more fem he reminds you to take those off too and has a pair of slippers for you in his room that you can wear instead

hey! get this! He loves you so, so much :D

Belphie

you’re trans? ok kid join the club. he doesn’t make a big deal at all

are you still gonna cuddle with him and join him in his quest to make lucifer’s life difficult? yeah? ok then cool what’s ur name

if he hears someone misgender you he waits till you’ve left the room and just kills whoever did it, dude’s unhinged what did you expect from him honestly

he’s actually really curious about any hormone therapy you’re on and likes listening to you rant about it to him. he likes seeing your face light up and it partly reminds him of lilith

calls your hormones something stupid like “oh dude, your gamer girl juice arrived.” or “hey your little man potion is here.” ...thanks belphie

will NOT let you sleep in a binder or push up bra!!! not healthy!! let ur chest breath guys

like mammon, he gets you gendered gifts but they’re so fucking weird? you didn’t need a girls version of a collectable hot wheels set???? he got you blue lightning mcqueen sheets?????? those EXIST here????!!!!! when does he even shop......

introduces you to new people like “this is our resident boy/girl/human. they don’t do much but i think they’re cool.”

he really does care about you but he remembers when he came out he just didnt want people to make a big deal about it so he’s just doing what would have made him feel the most comfortable, but you can still see how much love he has for you when you look into his eyes

he loves you, so, so much :)

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thessalian · 3 years ago

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Thess vs Redditors

Every so often I visit Reddit. Now, generally I curate my Reddit experience, and the only shitlords I see are the ones getting laughed at in the subreddits I follow. It’s a nice buffer to have, honestly: “Yeah, there’s shitlords out there but there are also people like me who will call the shitlords out in no uncertain terms”.

One of the ones that I trip over more often than the average is, “I’m not comfortable with you playing a character who’s not the same gender as you because it’s kinda gay”. (That or, in the case of women who want to play male characters, it’s literally just so they can have NPCs hit on them or ... other vile shit that should get them banned from ever touching a random number generating polyhedral or a sourcebook ever again in their entire lives on pain of castration.) This ... bewilders me. On so many levels. I mean, I personally prefer playing female characters ... but honestly, that’s generally more because women don’t get to be heroes often enough for my liking in a world where “strong female character” means “beats people up in a sexually enticing way”.

But. I mean. I don’t think I’ve ever, ever been in a group where everyone was playing to their gender. Not when I first started playing nearly 20 years ago, not when I started chat-and-forum RP, and sure as hell not now. Two of our guys play female characters (three at one point - we miss you, @noctumsolis), and our dragonborn’s player had to flip a coin to decide what gender he was going to end up playing. Seriously - player-wise, the men outnumber the women (even if we count me). Character wise - very much the other way around.

And no one gives a shit.

I think the one issue we’ve ever had with that, if you can call it that, is the few times when one particular player has a bit of a space-out moment and refers to someone by their player’s gender instead of their character’s, and she course corrects very quickly. And we all have brain moments, so hey.

I mean, people are gonna be the kind of shitlords they’re going to be, but I do end up thinking how much they’d hate my campaign, my homebrew, my entire game world, and point to me as a prime example of “why women shouldn’t be allowed to play D&D”. I mean, vague misgendering aside, this is what they’d be talking about:

Two men playing female characters by choice, without any of the usual stereotyping or sexualisation bullshit

Two queer relationships (which would confuse them when there’s a man and a woman as players for each except as for how even without one being married, at least two being on the asexuality spectrum somewhere, and a whole lot of geographic and age-related stuff, just ... we love each other in a very different way than that)

One bard who may be entirely pansexual but doesn’t flirt all cornball and does not attempt to screw everything that moves just because he’s a pansexual bard in a D&D world (”Hey! I’ve got standards! ...Also I have ... moods. You know; sometimes you feel like having ale, sometimes you feel like having wine, and sometimes you do like Hazel - you pull up to the bar and just go, ‘surprise me’!”)

(Okay I’ll stop channeling Darvin now, sorry @fauxfire76)

Probably two ace characters. Ish. Anyway, and one of them is pursuing a relationship with a character who’s very much not ace, and that’s been interesting. (I love @lindira and @true0neutral so very much)

Badass halfling lesbian couple being one of the party’s most prominent allies

Genderfluid ancient copper dragon who basically is just like, “I can change my species whenever I want to; I can do my gender the same way, no?” Also at least two gender-neutral NPCs and at least one trans NPC (there are more, but there’s only one they actually know about - and that only OOC because I love that NPC and had to talk about him - because I don’t see a need to be the Transition Police and it’s not like it comes up in conversation, y’know?)

An entire nomadic civilisation who roam the frozen wastes of the north in hunting packs that are literally polycules because if you trust them with your life and can travel with them in such close quarters and in such hardship for so long, you must love them in some way so why not have sex with them? It’s just fun with someone you share a bond with, right?

Two civilisations (that one and desert-dwellers) who actively encourage bisexuality at minimum because sex is great and everything but the frozen tundra or the desert wastes are not places where you raise a child unless you’re really prepared for it, and while there’s obviously birth control, it’s never 100% so ways of getting frisky that don’t involve sperm meeting egg are greatly encouraged

Also one character and a character’s mother were sex workers at one point, and no one much bats an eye about it. (Okay, Remi finding out that her mother used to be a brothel babe kinda threw her for a moment, but it weirdly seems to have made her respect her mother more, not less, so good on you, @hyperewok1)

Also we haven’t had real combat in months. Beyond the Combat Lite when I sent them hunting with a frozen-wasteland nomad pack. And no one cares.

I’m sure a lot of people say I’m doing D&D wrong. My party doesn’t seem to think so, though, so that ‘lot of people’ can shove it up their arses. Sideways.

(This post brought to you by the need to distract myself from how much of a hellhole my country of residence is becoming now. I’ll probably rant about that later but I need a break right now.)

#Thess RPs

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incorrect-mha-bnha · 5 years ago

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Trans Bakugou HC????

His first genuine smile happened after waking up from top surgery to see himself finally weightless after years of drowning. No one would ever forget how bright and alive he seemed as tears fell down his face in the hospital. Kirishima could have sworn to hearing a laugh slip through at one point, but of course that was denied.

Bakugou designed his hero suit to be a cross tank because he assumed his top surgery would have been done by then but sadly, kidnapping and hero bs got in the way. Now he has to wear sports bras under it until the appointment can be booked. Leaving him pissed and just slightly dysphoric out and about which helps aid his sour mood while training.

My poor boy Bakugou has D cups. Pray for him😔...No, but for real. The size of his unfortunate lumps caused a lot of dysphoria while wearing his hero suit. (Going back to the previous bullet) Because of their size, it was a lot harder to bind to satisfactory which led to a lot of methods being used until he just said fuck it and started weight lifting. (For those who don’t know, weight lifting turns breast tissue into muscle and some other cool pectoral shit. I know this because my Ma is a personal trainer.) It shrunk him down a few sizes while building muscle, giving the illusion of pecs so wearing a sports bra was bearable.

Bakugou went through many phases of figuring out who he wanted to be (that’s obvious but I’m not talking about gender wise) in terms of style and personality. He tried different types of styles until one stuck, now he looks like a gremlin in baggy clothes (on occasions). He also went through a makeup phase to try and darken his features.

When Bakugou is really dysphoric, he hunches over and grumbles a lot. Everyone usually stays away, discounting Midoriya and Kirishima. Them being the bravest and brightest always gang up on Bakugou to help bring his spirits and confidence up. Even let him get the anger out with a rough spar.

Bakugou changes in the bathroom of the locker room to avoid invasive eyes (Mineta) or is released 5 minutes early by his teachers to get a head start.

During his pre-top surgery days, Bakugou would wear a baggy shirt into the pool But practically avoided it altogether. The first person to really get him comfortable enough to uncross his arms in the pool, given that they somehow coaxed him in, was Kirishima.

Bakugou was never self conscious about his height, being visited by the height fairy during puberty but his hips and chest? Count them as life ruiners. Baby had so many dysphoria episodes in front of the mirror that he turned into an angry introvert.

T does a lot of shit to your body, one of those being heightening your aggression levels. If Bakugou was already slightly aggressive to begin with, his pleasancey took a nose dive after starting T.

Sigh, back on my KiriBaku bs but anyway. THE FIRST PERSON TO EVER CALL BAKUGOU MANLY WAS KIRISHIMA. AND THAT SHIT HIT DIFFERENTLY.

Uhmmm pro hero Bakuhou starting a fundraiser for trans kids and adults who are homeless, jobless (Aka struggling), in need of support or looking for others like them, searching for clarity, even protection. Bakugou is like the trans Jesus, that is all.

He literally hates what he feels like when someone points out that his mother and him look alike. Yeah, he fucking gets it but is there a need to point it out? Damn.

COMMITS himself to doing regular vocal excersises to lower his voice, even with T. His usual gruff tone is to mask the voice cracks he gets on the hormones, because that would be embarrassing.

When Bakugou got the call that he was going to get top surgery, he literally blew his phone up with so much excitment then burst into tears.

Showers suck- nuff said.

Midoriya was the first person to ever know about Bakugou being trans. So, he started bullying Midoriya into silence but soon realized the boy wouldn’t have uttered a word anyway and simply wanted to help and be there for him. Of course, Bakugou, being young and new to the life change, wanted everyone who had once known him as a girl to be gone. That meant he would try and remove Midoriya from his life for good but the green boy just kept on bouncing back. Imagine his surprise to know the one person with his secret would be attending high school with him. Shit got flipped.

All of the girls carry extra supplies for emergencies. Bakugou does too but sometimes a p*riod (I bleep because it can be a sensitive topic) just pops out of nowhere. It gets him frustrated and embarrassed whenever he isn’t prepared but the girls somehow always know the right timing to whisk him off to help or stealthily stuff some things into his pocket as they cross paths. It’s like a cartel of drugs but the girls are being true friends with pads in the end. Kirishima even got on the bandwagon and started carrying supplies for whoever may need it.

Bakugou refused to wear tampons, shit was a no go.

In the beginning, Bakugou would frequently steal one of the girl’s heating pads whenever the pain got unbearable. They hardly minded but Momo gifted him one as a present. He uses it all the time.

After he came out and became comfortable, Bakugou would joke about donating his lumps to the girls that bitched about being small chested. (We are looking at you Jirou). “Free unfortunate lumps for sale! I don’t want them, take the damn things!”, “Hey! Give me your chest, switch with me!”

Bakugou is a night dweller for many reasons. 1.) Time to not bind and give himself a break while doing stretches. 2.) snacks are Free real estate 3.) It’s easier to not bind while everyone isn’t there to witness him walking to relieve tension.

Bakugou once heard that frequent conception of coffee leads to a decrease in breast size by 0.3 cups. Bakugou ended up consuming so much that he stayed up for a total of 72 hours, almost overdosed, couldn’t sit still, finished everyone’s homework plus his own, deep cleaned the entire dorm and trained until he crashed. Now, he hates the taste of it but swears that his little shits shrunk a whole cup.

Imma say this loudly because it’s my favorite hc mostly because it’s what I do. BAKUGOU HATES WEARING LIGHT COLORS, THE BIGGEST FUCK NO GOS OUT TO WHITE SHIRTS. HE PREFERS TO WEAR DARK COLORS BECAUSE HIS BINDER IS BLACK. THE ONLY REASON HE WEARS HIS UNFORM, BEGRUDGINGLY, IS BECAUSE THE MATERIAL ISNT SEE THROUGH AND IT IS ALSO CRUMPLY. AKA, EASILY COVERS HIM UP BY GOING A SIZE UP.

His waist in snatched thanks to those bitch ass hips.

His first post surgery outfit was a very thin material white shirt because fuck yeah, get a view of his binder less chest under there!

Bakugou wears headphones while going about in public for a few reasons. 1.) He doesn’t like interacting with people and the headphones usually wards them off from bothering him. 2.) Loud music in his ears tends to tune out people misgendering him and transphobes being chucklefucks.

Bakugou got his respect to be called a guy from his family by blatantly ignoring anyone who called him by his deadman and/or used the wrong pronouns. “Bitch, suddenly I can’t hear. I don’t know who you think you are calling.”

Bakugou is very proud of any hair that grows on his body. (Sigh, take that how you wish). Literally prances around the UA grounds showing off even the tineiest hint of a beard, and raves over his growing leg hair.

Bakugou’s favorite movie is Mulan, fight me on that.

Bakugou’s life zeal is Be Trans Throw Hands

More to be added

Part 2

Part 3

#bakugou katsuki #bakugou #katsuki #mha bakugo katsuki #trans bakugou #transgender bakugou #trans katsuki #bakugou headcanons #TransBakHC #dio bnha headcannons

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blackasteriia · 4 years ago

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13!

Super Duper Deep Character Questions

||First question is shown but the rest is under the cut because it’s a doozy||

13.

Thank you @lunsai for the fantastic header.

Let’s talk about Nomura’s portrayal of Xion’s gender in canon! We are introduced to ‘Xion’ through the eyes of Roxas. He sees a silent, hooded figure who he feels an immediate connection to. Xion does not speak to him for almost two weeks. They run a mission or two together. Then she removes her hood and he sees a young girl. She uses she/ her pronouns. Although there are attempts to misgender her, Xion seems uncomfortable with attempts to enforce a different gender than ‘female’ on her. Then, we have a conversation where we hear Xemnas’ --and assumably Nomura’s-- explanation of Xion’s gender. He says:

“But then through Roxas, Sora himself began to shape ‘it’ into ‘her’ giving Xion a sense of identity.”

Xemnas doesn’t care about Xion’s gender. He cares that she’s trapping Sora’s memories and ensuring that the keyblade remains in his use. However, the explanation of Xion’s gender leans into Nomura’s opinion of her character. Xion is not real to him. She is a fake person. Sora’s impression of Kairi, nothing more, nothing less. Her sense of identity comes from Sora’s memories that she stole from him and Roxas. Sora wanted her to be Kairi, so he made ‘it’ into ‘her.’ I know that Nomura doesn’t believe Xion isn’t a real person because she died at the end of the game. When he removed Sora from her character, there was nothing left of her. He even showed that with all of Sora’s memories, she is just Sora after all. Now, here are some of my observations:

1. It is terrible writing to build a character’s arc on them developing their own identity and personhood, then rip it away at the end. Xion’s story arc literally proves Xemnas right by its ending.

2. Xion’s ‘gender’ is subjective to Roxas’ experience of her. She is a girl only in the sense that Roxas wanted her to be one. As soon as she has enough of Sora’s memory, she visually becomes a ‘boy.’ Well, that’s kinda gross and objectifying isn’t it? It’s almost like Nomura wants all his protagonists to have their own pet Kairi--

3. Xion’s story is parallel --yeah, I’ll go with that word-- to the experience of being transgender. I have zero faith that Nomura intended that. Yet, we have a character that is assigned one gender at birth (although it is a non-gender, I guess?). Who identifies as a different gender. Who deals with misgendering and other attempts to force them into their assigned gender. Hell, it’s almost a good story. Saïx,the guy misgendering her, is treated with contempt. Well, it’s good right up until she’s murdered and the guy abusing her is proven right by de facto. It’s Nomura, though, can’t win it all.

Hey, you know who is a character that is a lot like Xion?

Steven Universe.

No, no, no, come back I’m not joking. Spoilers for season 5 of the show, though.

Steven Universe is a character that identifies as a boy. He has his mother’s gem and many people who see him, see her instead of him. Because of this, Steven is constantly misgendered and referred to as ‘Rose,’ or ‘Pink Diamond.’ Steven is compared through-out the show to Rose and struggles to live-up to her immense legacy. However, he affirms that he is a boy and that he is Steven. He wants to save the Earth and fulfill his destiny is his own Steven-y way. Through-out the series, we see him grow and mature into a heroic lead in his own right. In Season 5 we are introduced to White Diamond. White Diamond plays a role that could be considered akin to Pink Diamond’s mother. White Diamond claims that Steven is just another ‘trick’ and ‘game’ of Pink Diamond. Pink Diamond is hiding behind Steven in order to shirk her duties. So that White can restore her family, her home, and the order of the gem society, Pink must return to her station. To White Diamond, the problem is Pink being convinced that she is a boy named Steven Universe. Pink is so deluded she is even, ‘deceiving herself.’

So, to prove her point, White Diamond removes his gemstone. Steven was born with this gemstone, he has never lived without it. We have been told that he is both human and gem. That Rose ‘gave-up her physical body’ to have him. It is not inaccurate to say that apart of him is literally his mother. This is the most critical question of Steven’s character, is he, after all, really just Pink Diamond hiding? White Diamond risked killing Steven to return Pink Diamond. The gemstone glows and out emerges-- Steven. Pink Diamond is gone and its time for everyone to accept it. Steven then embraces himself and reunites with his gem in a heartfelt scene. White Diamond is left to throw a temper tantrum, but eventually learns to appreciate Steven for who he is.

Now, can you imagine if Rebecca Sugar decided that Pink Diamond popped out of the gemstone instead of Steven? What kind of message would that send? Steven was never Steven. He was only Pink Diamond pretending to be Steven. He was never ‘him,’ only she pretending to be him. It would also work against Steven’s character arc. You know, his arc to establish himself as an independent and unique person, worthy of love, outside of his relationship to Rose? Yeah, that arc. So, now look at Xion’s character arc. Xion’s arc where her independence and identity were stomped on, thrown into the trash, then outright erased. Xion’s arc where she was constantly told ‘you don’t deserve to exist’ even though all she ever wanted was a life of peace with her friends. Xion’s arc which ended in her murder and her abusers absolved, with no consequences for their crimes against her. Xion’s arc where everyone who insulted, degraded, and oppressed her, was proven right. Now, look at Steven’s character arc. You tell me who did it better.

Steven’s story, like Xion’s, has echos of the experience of being transgender. (Quick disclaimer: I am cis and I will never be able to represent the experience of someone who is transgender as well as someone who actually has that identity. I will do my best though and please let me know if I misrepresent something.) He is misgendered and dead named by characters who struggle to accept his (or really, Rose’s) change in identity. Neither Xion nor Steven’s characters are one-for-one and I don’t think they have to be? His character arc works to affirm the lesson of self-love and acceptance of identity that the show hammers on in every episode. I have no idea how intentional Steven’s story is. I do know that Rebecca Sugar is a fantastic writer, with a deep understanding of her characters, and who understands queer identity. Any other outcome than Steven emerging from that gem would cause more harm to young, LGBT+ viewers than good. Xion dying at the end of 358/2 Days is an insensitive, cruel, and needless message of the ‘villain wins, your abuser is right’ directed right to the viewer.

Okay, so now that’s all cleared-up. Let’s do better by Xion than literally everything Nomura has ever done.

First of all, Roxas is not the deciding factor in Xion’s gender. We can keep the influence of Sora’s memories or whatever, but ‘Sora wanting it to be Kairi’ is not a good enough point. So, let’s rewrite that.

No. i had no biological sex and no gender identity at its inception. Whenever I refer to ‘No. i’ on the blog, I refer to it with neutral pronouns. I do this because No. i is not fundamentally Xion. Vexen could recreate a thousand No. i and none of them would be Xion. More than that, not all of them would be girls, or even boys, or individuals that don’t fit between the hard dichotomy. They could be anything or anyone they want. Xion however, came about when she was: named by Xemnas, lived under the influenced of the Organization members, experienced Sora’s memories, and made fundamental choices about her identity. Xion is a gradual creation and unique person who can’t just be ‘remade’ from notes. One of the influences on Xion was Larxene. An incredibly brief and one-sided influence, but effective nonetheless.

I once joked that Xion saw Larxene beat up Demyx one day and decided that girls are cool, therefore she wants to be one. Well, a year later, that is effectively blog canon. Gender is arbitrary and really more based upon our expression than any hard limits anyway. Xion learned from Larxene a few things:

1. girls are cool, boys drool

2. feminine expression and style is badass

3. making boys terrified of you is fun

4. be sassy

And Larxene uses she/her pronouns, and calls herself a ‘girl.’ Therefore, Xion will use she/her pronouns and also call herself a girl. And because Xion thinks of herself as a girl, that’s enough for her to be one. The influence of Sora’s memories may’ve pressed upon her the appearance of Kairi, but that’s only because Xion agreed with that image. Kairi was a suitable blue print to ‘be more girl’ and therefore more badass.

If you ask Xion about her gender she’ll just tell you she’s a girl. I don’t think she’ll ever really evolve past that either. It’s not complex to her. She dresses how she wants. She likes sort’ve feminine clothes too, purples, red, blues. Boots are pratical and shirts should be comfy. The next thing about gender is that we can choose how we express it and what it means to us. As an adult Xion can look at her gender as apart of her identity, one way she can define and describe herself. As someone who has fought so hard and struggled for so long to establish herself as a distinct person, the affirmation of Xion’s gender is powerful and meaningful to her.

#lafemmedefoudre #✰*✦ This is the idiot speaking ⎧OOC⎫#✰*✦ Strangers are just friends you haven’t met yet!⎧Asks⎫#✰*✦More than a mannequin on the strings⎧Headcanon⎫

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scarlettedwanda · 5 years ago

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Alright so here's the deal, I don't use Tumblr anymore. Ever since last year when the guidelines were changed and the website just turned into absolute shit.

However

I do still occasionally pop on here, look through some tags and what not and yes, I did post not too long ago, about Unas Annus.

So naturally, I'm going to make a post and it's going to piss a whole lot of people off and for once in my life, I'm embracing the idea of losing a whole lot of followers.

Pewdiepie. Lately and for absolutely no reason, has been getting a whole other wave of hate and people genuinely happy that one of his places was robbed and worse, people wishing he'd kill himself or get killed and for absolutely stupid fucking reasons.

This dates back a few years, to the time he said a word that he shouldn't have said. But is Felix the only white person to ever say that word? No. Did he make a mistake? Yes. Does he deserve the title of being a racist? Absolutely not. Felix did not say the word to intentionally hurt someone. It slipped out as it does with thousands and thousands of gamers only this time, Felix had caught it on video.

Just this summer I overheard my white as fuck younger brother, saying the word over his headset in a heated game of Rainbow Six Seige. And the thing is, he's a nobody so no one will ever be upset with him the way people did with Felix. My brother isn't some rich Youtuber so these people over Tumblr, or the people over Twitter who crave the feeling of ruining a rich man's career, will never go after my brother like a pack of hyenas.

Now Malcolm, this isn't the only proof that he's a racist. Let us not forget the Fiver video where he paid some kids to hold up nazi propaganda. Yes he did, but he also wasn't expecting it to go through. Half the fucking people on YouTube are looking for that shock factor, need a way to gain views and you're damn right that Felix thought it would be an interesting way to pull attention.

In that same video, Felix apologized. He was shocked and clearly felt bad enough that he found the need to apologize for the incident happening. It's a joke that stems from far too many jokes on television shows or movies and yet, no one freaks out whenever South Park teases about the idea of an actual eight year old imprisoning red heads, or actively dressing as a member of the KKK. We live in a society which pushes the line for humor and entertainment and people don't think. Celebrities and such say things, do things that they don't mean or feel or want. Felix was just another example of a guy who got boned for something that some people took a bit too seriously.

So why not take it down? Why even post that part? Simple; Felix made a mistake and wanted everyone to learn from it. Without someone making roughly the same mistakes as he's stumbled into. He wants people to take from this lesson and realize that these people on Fiver, will do whatever they're paid to do, whether they realize what they're promoting or not. He is warning everyone not to do that, showing people that he's capable of mistakes and will take the back lash from it because he genuinely doesn't have those views.

Now, onto the latest stupidly. The woman from Dr. Phil where he made yet another mistake. Fuck, people obviously didn't watch the video before going on this rant that Felix is a transphobe, because in the video he only misgenders this person twice. He doesn't call her by the wrong pronouns on purpose, he takes in her appearance, her voice and her name and made a conclusion that this person reminded him a lot of Jeffrey Star.

In fact, for most of the video he calls her "Walmart Jeffrey Star" and it's literally no different than any nickname you would give to a character on television or movies. Never once does she state her pronouns and if you aren't reading the description under her name when she first appears, then you can easily make the mistake of not knowing her pronouns.

Felix corrected himself the first time it was brought up that she was a transgender woman, he apologized and yet people on here are labeling him unfairly for a genuine mistake.

Now let's move onto my proof. The proof that people are blowing him up and ignoring hard facts that Felix is a genuine guy. We'll start with his wife, Marzia, the sweetest person I've ever seen. Even the most avid Pewdiepie haters can agree that Marzia is precious, so why the hell would she still be with him after everything, if he really was a racist? Or if he was a nazi or transphobic? The simple answer; he isn't. She is the closest person to him, and yes hypothetically he could be hiding the dark sides of himself, but Marzia lives with him. She married him and she is also on YouTube and online and I'm positive she's being flooded with these stupid comments that the man she married, is a racist transphobe.

After being together for only two years, my fiancé and myself know everything about one another. Neither of us can hide parts of our personality from each other because the truth is, you get lazy over time. You stop worrying that the person you're involved with is going to hate you over it, and you let your guard down. Felix and Marzia have been together far longer and even after all these accusations came out, Marzia still agreed to marry him.

And then there's Seán. Seán who advocates mental health and who is a very sweet person. And does anyone actually think Seán would lie about how genuine Felix is? Do people think that this person, who's struggled with depression, would surround himself with a person who hates other people? Do people genuinely believe that Seán would invite Felix over to his house, hang out with him, collaborate both in person and over line, for views? Or do you think that maybe, just maybe, they really are close friends? That Felix is the good person that Seán has said he is?

Honestly, a lot of people's opinions are misguided by people who just hate the rich. Pewdiepie is a successful YouTuber, arguably the most successful so of course he's going to have a lot of haters. But unlike people like Donald fucking Trump, a good comparison in this case being another successful rich man; Felix actually cares about his viewers. He cares about his community and doesn't have some stupid superiority complex. If you want to hate on a successful rich man, complain about a guy who actually wants to build a wall to keep the Mexicans out of his country, throw hate at a man who created his own concentration camps for children because this idea that Felix is a bad person, is absolutely disgusting.

So, please unfollow me, block me, or whatever. Because this idea that Felix is disgusting is wrong. I'm not going to fight every post I ever see, I'm going to ignore them and let my own post speak for itself.

But to any Pewdiepie haters; go fuck yourself.

#pewdiepie #youtube #felix kjellberg

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theliterarywolf · 5 years ago

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So... Let's talk about Hetalia. Controversies, Specifically.

Tagging @apply-force-too-begin since they’re the one who was interested.

Hetalia was one of my first big fandoms outside of 'The Big Three' anime (Naruto, Bleach, One Piece) and outside of video games (mostly whatever wee babby weeaboo me could get on the Gamecube).

And, you know what? It's a dumb, silly anime about stereotypes, poking fun at the absurdities of History, and one's relationships with clashing cultures. It's dumb... But, remember, we all need our daily thirty minutes of dumb. And some of the characters are cute.

And, you know what? Most of the most engaging aspects of the fandom were those who used the initial shallow splash of history that the anime gave them to actually research and make engaging, well-written, culturally-sensitive content.

Of course, I'm not going to ignore how... Over-the-top some members of the fandom have been. We've seen how, whenever recent political conflict or natural disaster have occurred, we have to remind younger members of the Hetalia fandom to not cutsiefy it with the Hetalia characters. Examples that come to mind are: when the conflict between Russia and Ukraine was surging up, kids kept trying to draw art of 'Russia just wants his big sister back~!', and the last major earthquake that hit Japan that had people making fanart of the Japan character which, while some was tasteful and was meant to bring awareness and donations for Disaster Relief, not... all of it was...

Hell, that’s not even bringing into account the last time I went to Anime Expo (way back during Hetalia’s hayday), I was walking around and saw a bunch of Russia and Baltic State cosplayers being interviewed by the news and the one dressed up in a USSR uniform was holding up a Communist flag and shouting ‘Whoo! SOVIET TAKEOVER!!’

However, one thing that I have noticed, while researching for this write-up, was this:

Most of the controversies and pieces of fandom-wank that have surrounded Hetalia and its fandom... Aside from one instance... Are the results of the Western-fandom and Western-localization of the anime via Funimation.

Aside from one... Most of the issues surrounding Hetalia are due to the West and not even the source media in of itself.

So, with that in mind, let's talk about the main controversies of both Hetalia and its fanbase.

Controversy 1 – The South Korea Controversy/Protests

As I recently answered a question about this, so I'll just pull that answer for this segment:

'To summarize it: there’s a Hetalia character meant to represent South Korea. As every Hetalia character has a gag related to them (America gorges himself on fast food and constantly proclaims himself to be the Hero, Italy is cowardly, Germany is constantly angry, China constantly builds Chinatowns wherever he goes and sells bootleg merchandise, etc), so did S. Korea.

His gag was calling all the other Asian countries ‘big brother’ as well as groping the chests of male characters (China and Japan mostly), proclaiming ‘these mountains belong to South Korea, da ze!’

Of course, people would draw pictures of S. Korea doing his thing but one day during a meeting between a bunch of South Korean politicians and representatives, someone brought out a piece of fanart that depicted S. Korea groping Japan’s chest with the latter looking embarrassed and what not.

They interpreted the character as being an offensive, lecherous stereotype that was somehow belittling S. Korea’s worth as a country.

There were a bunch of small protests until, finally, Himaruya Hidekazu (the creator of Hetalia) just decided to say “you know what? Fine! I’m not getting rid of the character but he’ll never appear in the anime adaptation, okay?!’

So… Yeah! Fun times…'

Magnitude of Controversy – MAJOR

Like... In what universe is 'this meme hurt my feewings, we need to take VALUABLE TIME DURING GOVERNMENT FORUMS to talk about it RATHER THAN OTHER PRESSING ISSUES' a good response? And the fact that people took to the streets to protest? Come on, guys! There's so much more to worry about in this world...

Controversy 2 – Emperor Heliogabalus and Himaruya's 'Transgender Erasure'

There was a section of time where Himaruya Hidekazu, rather than focusing on the nation characters of the series, made chapters and updates about certain historical figures. They were all done for laughs while interspersing various bits of trivia and facts about them.

One of these updates centered around the Roman emperor Heliogabalus (or 'Elagabalus'). And this is where certain portions of this hellsite got soooooo upset...

You see, Himaruya titled the update centered on Heliogabalus as 'The Emperor Who Tried to Live as a Woman... Even Though He Was Really a Guy'.

Almost immediately people were typing up callout posts about how 'transphobic' Himaruya was for the title and 'how dare he misgender my precious trans baby~!' or 'this just goes to show how ignorant Japanese people are to Western history' and so many more, all because Himaruya didn't use out-and-out female pronouns for Heliogabalus.

Now. Mm, two things!

One! This was during the time when Himaruya had an open blog where, not only did he post pictures and updates about where in the world he was traveling and what he was researching, but it also had an inbox that was open for people to send insight to him.

So, if people were really incensed by this, you would think that they would use such a means to let a creator know 'hey, this is kind of problematic; can you edit it to show this information', right?

Right?

NO ONE tried to inform Himaruya of their upset; they literally didn't want an answer, they just wanted to be upset!

But, here's the kicker: the guy that all of these people were stanning for? Emperor Heliogabalus?

WASN'T FUCKING TRANS!!

The real Heliogabalus was a sadistic little shit who was connivingly put on the throne by his mother via a bunch of espionage and assassinations... Who, as thanks, had his own mother murdered once he was emperor. Other wonderful exploits of this 'icon' that tumblr kids decided to stan was:

Getting politicians and countrymen drunk and then, while they were passed out, brought in lions to kill and eat them

Deciding 'fuck Jupiter, Helios is my husbando – We're all going to worship him now!'

Completely wrecking Rome's monetary system

Promising favors to his lovers (whom he called his 'husbands' despite not making anything official) that strictly contradicted favors to his other lovers

And just generally being a hot mess

So... why were tumblr children so insistent on him being a transgender woman?

You ready for this?

Okay.

Because he occaisionally dressed in women's clothing and called his male lovers his 'husbands'.

Yeah.

One of the earliest case of tumblr children trying to ruin someone's life because they didn't follow their headcanons.

Magnitude of Controversy – Honestly, this was just fandom-wank. But it was one of the earlier instances of fandom brats using serious terms (transphobia) to justify being upset at a creator not following their headcanons.

Controversy 3 – The Passover Photoshoot

…

I'm sorry, just...

Everytime I remember or have to go over this one, I have to stop and reflect; maybe grab a drink.

…

Okay.

So, pretty early into the Western reaches of the Hetalia fandom, a group of friends and Hetalia fans decided to meet up together at a mall for a cosplay photoshoot.

Okay. Cool. Fine.

They were all dressed up as their favorite characters from the series! Germany, Austria, Hungary, P-Prussia, Holy... Roman Empire...

Ahem. Okay. Cool. Fine.

So, they get to the mall and start taking pictures. But then someone in the group gets the amazing idea for everyone to do certain poses.

I... You know, why did I start this, I could have just not done thi--

Nazi salutes. You had a bunch of dumb kids dressed up as Germanic nations. Performing Nazi salutes and shouting 'Heil Hitler'.

Now, as bad as this was... you could have just drawn it out as shitty edgelord humor; we still have plenty of that going on today.

H-however. There were two factors that made this photoshoot 50 Shades of Tasteless.

Number one. This photoshoot took place during Passover.

And number two. The mall that this photoshoot took place at...

WAS JUST A HOP, SKIP, AND A JUMP FROM THE UNITED STATES HOLOCAUST MUSEUM!!!

This is the one, THE ONE, instance where, anytime someone talks about 'lol, young Hetalia fans are so cringey', this is what pops into my head.

Those of us older members of the fandom can never fucking forget this. Yeah, the perpetrators were called out; yeah, they learned their lessons, yeah it opened up a conversation about appropriate behavior in fandom. But this one event will always remain as the big 'Ooh, baby, nooooo! What are you doing?!' moment in the fandom.

Even moreso than what the current batch of hatedum is about.

Magnitude of Controversy – Huge. The South Korea controversy was discussed on a governmental scale, but the Passover Photoshoot is what remains as the biggest mark on the fandom.

Controversy 4 - FUCKING FUNIMATION!!

Okay, I...

This one is so infuriating because it’s the result of Funimation just not giving a DAMN.

So, Hetalia got popular enough to be localized! Yay... And it was going to be handled by Funimation. Yay... They do quality work... Sometimes.

*kicks the Black Butler dub into the sun*

So, they dubbed Hetalia. And, you know what? So many questionable decisions went into this fucking dub.

You have Vic Mignogna! You! *clap* Have! *clap* Vic! *clap* Mignogna! You could have easily put him as one of the Axis characters or the Allied characters and you...

Don’t use him...

Until three seasons down the line...

And then you have him as Greece.

A character who barely says anything.

... And this was WAY before the clusterfuck of KickVic, so they really had no excuse.

Oh, also! For China, who is a main character, maybe we should have an actual voice-actor?

Pssh! Fuck that shit, let’s just have some random chick from accounting voice him.

... They literally had some random-chick from accounting do an overly stereotypical Chinese accent and said ‘yeah, that’s fine; print!’

And she gave us such... wonderful line-reads as: during the Hetalia movie Paint It, White! --

“SUCK BALLS! I knew za fortune cookie today was bad ruck~!”

But as bad as the dub got sometimes (Oh God, I’m having war flashbacks of Russia...), the exchange from the dub that people constantly point to as ‘see! This show was antisemitic all along!’ were these:

Exchange 1 -

S. Italy/Romano - ‘Hey asshole, I have a surprise for you~!’

Germany - ‘What is it? Another Jew?’

And, you know what? As asinine and idiotic as that brief exchange was...

IT WASN’T IN THE ORIGINAL MATERIAL!

Funimation, in their infinite wisdom, wrote that in and thought ‘yeah, that’s fine; print!’

So, there goes another issue of ‘problem that only existed because of the idiocy of a Western presence’.

Magnitude of Controversy - Well, people are still talking about it, despite it literally being because of Funimation’s laziness, so...

'Controversy' 5 – The Civil War fanart

So, this segment will be short because it doesn't even need to exist. But, you may have noticed an upsurge in people hating on the series again; even going so far as to raid Discord servers for fans of the series with gore.

Hell, I even scrolled past one person doing a 'call to arms' for people to spam any server that has to do with Hetalia as a big 'gotcha'.

And you wanna know where this fandom-wank started?

Someone on tumblr re-posted an old piece of... questionable chibi fanart of Confederate!America and Union!America. Union!America is hiding a slave woman behind him while shouting at Confederate!America to 'Pick your own damn cotton!'

(deep breath... okay)

And, while the art in of itself is... not great, the fact that it is an old piece of fanart and that someone posted it onto tumblr for the 'lol, look at this cringe' lolz, is what rallied some people to start shitting on fans of the show and raiding servers.

There also may have been some drama over on picrew by some teenage LGBT user lashing out at the whole 'stop spamming Picrew with gay shit' sentiment and then some edgelord over on this hellsite screencapping their game and talking about 'lol, of course it would be a cringey Hetalian to post some dumb shit like this; get off the site, queer' but, honestly, this last one, while being the reason why people are acting dumber than usual, is the most inconsequential.

Magnitude of the Controversy – It would be minimal at best, especially compared to the other ones in this write-up, but like I said, it does have some trickling into the current hatedumb.

So, yeah, here was my little write-up/mini-dive into the madness. You guys can let me know if you want more insight or if you have any questions, and I love you and buh-bye!

#fandom-wank #fandom history

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davidthetraveler · 5 years ago

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David’s Fic-Rec Friday: 2020/03/13

Hey guys. Sorry about the past couple of weeks. Things have been... complicated. And apparently it wasn’t the best idea to restart this series on Friday the 13th, as my computer froze while I was working on this and I had to do a hard restart, which deleted the first version of this post I made requiring me to have to go back through all my notes to remake it. But at least I’m back now and we can get on with the recommendations.

Loneliness by AprilLilypegasi (aka @anxiously-unsatisfied-world)

To start off, we’ve got a sweet Logicality story. Logan can sometimes forget to stop working after a while, but he can always tell when he does because of how lonely he gets. After logicing himself into quitting for the night, he goes in search of comfort, and eventually finds his way to Patton’s room. Invited in, he finds Patton knitting in bed, and when invited he immediately curls up next to him as he continues quietly. Eventually, Patton invites him to stay the night, and he agrees with clingy gusto, as the two curl up together and fall into a restful sleep. Such a wonderful tale.

you’re different by curiouscrush (aka @curiouscrushinc)

Here we’ve got a human au featuring analogical that’s up for interpretation. Logan and Virgil are out on a hilltop looking at the stars and discussing novels. Eventually Virgil points out how he likes that Logan is so different from anyone else Virgil knows while he feels like just another emo. Logan reciprocates with his own views concerning Virgil’s uniqueness, and the two share a nice moment of friendly bonding. Simple and sweet.

Fireflies by anamaleth (aka @anamaleth)

Now for some romantic Prinxiety to get my inner fanboy to shut up for a bit. Virgil’s suffering from insomnia, but Roman’s being rather clingy and doesn’t just want Virgil to leave. After a bit he comes up with an idea and summons a swarm of fireflies into his room to show Virgil. And Virgil’s awe-inspired and adorable reaction is absolutely worth it for Roman. Another short but sweet little story.

A Human Life by boredomsMuse (aka @boredomsmuse)

Now for a slightly less sweet outing, this time in a supernatural world featuring demons, witches, vampires, and even changelings. Roman and Remus are twins, raised by a vampire named Virgil who found them after their parents abandoned them as babies. Roman was supposed to be a changeling to replace Remus, but something went wrong and both boys were left behind. And because of that, Roman feels guilty for robbing Remus of the normal human life he could have had, especially as he feels he has stopped aging. But Virgil suggests that the two go traveling, to see the human world beyond the village that so derides them for their circumstances, and to help each other understand what they truly want their lives to be. There are references of course to child abandonment, and obviously this features Remus and some supernatural elements, but it’s otherwise harmless and a great read.

Happiness by BlackWolfFire (aka @lizdoesprompts)

Another less than happy entry, this one is another Human AU featuring Moxiety that could be seen as either Romantic or Platonic. Virgil is tired of having spent so long pretending to be happy when he knows he’s not. But a chance encounter brings Patton into his life, and suddenly things are a little easier. True, his bad days are still bad, and his thoughts can still turn dark. But Patton makes it easier to face his complicated tangle of emotions, and for once he’s truly happy. A wonderfully uplifting story.

Logan’s Diary by MarsupialsOfMars (aka @marsupials-of-mars)

An interesting character study in the form of a series of journal entries. Logan decides to start an emotion journal at Patton’s suggestion so as to have a true scientific understanding of them. What follows is eight excerpts from this journal over the years, from Thomas’ adolescence up through the most recent full video released (as of this posting). There are mentions of complicated emotions and relationships, and it does mention Remus, but is otherwise okay. And it’s a fascinating look at our resident cool teacher.

that’s not my name by enbyprinceroman (aka @lovelydodie)

Another prinxiety story that, while not outright romantic, definitely leans in that direction. Roman is the resident enby scene painter for their school’s drama group. But the group’s lead actor (an Unsympathetic version of Deceit) finds it necessary to misgender and deadname them whenever they address them. Luckily, Virgil is there to knock some sense into him (literally), and to get Roman home safely to their shared apartment when they disassociate due to trauma. As stated previously, this features graphic depictions of misgendering, deadnaming, disassociation, and a very Unsympathetic Deceit. But if you can get through all that, you’re in for quite the good read.

Two Twins by dreemurrgirl (Tumblr Account Unknown)

To end it this week, we’ve got a slightly bittersweet tale of the two creativitwins from the time before the troubles in Thomas’ mind. Roman and Remus as kids just love to play together in the imagination. And while there is all of the complications yet to come, for now they just love being together. Obviously this features Remus, and there’s some very obvious allusions to the current complicated climate in Thomas’ mindscape. But it’s still quite an adorable read.

*****

And this week’s Featured Fic Writer is:

[Insert Your Proposed Name Here]

Yes, that’s right. I’m asking you guys for your suggestions for writers to feature here in this segment. To recommend someone, simply drop a note in my inbox or reblog this post here and I’ll add them to my consideration list. There are no official rules or regulations for this, besides the fact that they should be Sanders Sides fanfic writers, but it is suggested that you focus on small time writers who aren’t as well known as the big players.

*****

Well, that’s it for this week. I hope you guys enjoy these stories and give these authors some well deserved love and attention with some kudos, some comments, and maybe even a bookmark or two.

Also, if you’d like to know more about the Fic-Rec Friday project, or would like to see previous weeks’ recommendations, you can find all that information through my Fic-Rec Friday Masterpost.

And if you’d like to added to the Fic-Rec Friday Tag List, or if you’re already on the list and would like to be removed, just drop a note in my inbox and I’ll take care of it.

Until next time guys, be safe, and happy reading!

General Tag List:

@ultimate-queen-of-fandoms2 @panicattheeverywheremcr

Fic-Rec Friday Tag List:

@kunnuglegur-tortimandi @max-is-tired @creativity-killed-thekitten

#Remus Sanders Mention TW #Deceit Sanders Mention TW #Transphobia Mention TW #Enbyphobia Mention TW #Supernatural Elements #David's Fic-Rec Friday

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i-want-to-be-manhandled · 5 years ago

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also, dumb shit i’ve learned during my first year on t

-i can pass most of the time except for when i’m at work. i think that’s because customer service voice at my old job plus carryover work anxiety to my new job (i was borderline sexually harassed at my old job because i am trans, so i’m stealth at my new one, very anxious about anyone finding out, and VERY defensive when i get misgendered. perhaps to my detriment, but i always explain that it was the “running joke” at my old job that i “looked like a girl,” which is as true of a story as i can make it without telling my coworkers i’m trans. similarly, they think i’m having back surgery in december.)

-the only people who misgender me now are clueless people who see me without my binder on in like dining halls or some shit and adult women. actually, the amount of time i get misgendered by women between 30 and 60 has caused me so much anxiety around that demographic that my anxiety voice has probably increased the percentage of times they misgender me. even the bro-iest of broskis apologize profusely and turn red when they misgender me. (thanks nick ur a bro, i won’t drink 14 beers with u tho. maybe 2.) women between 30 and 60, or at the very least ones at my job seeing my customer-service persona? they just don’t seem to care, or can’t seem to remember. they either get defensive or give me the “oh you’re one of THOSE” stare. i can’t fucking stand it.

-on that note, i am tired of being called kira and karen. open your goddamn ears. kieran is not THAT uncommon of a name where you insist to your dull minds that a man is called kira or karen, 30-to-60-year-old-female-coworkers. jesus fucking christ on a bike. please. i am whole-ass begging you. when i spell or sound out my name for you, and you continually insist it’s karen, i have every right to be angry at you. i am very apprehensive around middle-aged women at my job now, which i am aware could be interpreted by them as sexist without the context for my anxiety, but the anxiety is there, despite me actively realizing it’s shitty and yikes-worthy. i need a fucking beard please.

-contrary to the last points, women in my own age demographic are much better than men at reading me as male. i predict that it’s because i’m not actively trying to get in their pants like most guys they interact with on a daily basis, they actually remember what the fuck my name is, and i’m less anxious around people my own age anyways so my voice is deeper. men my age may read me as female more because i don’t have facial hair and i make “i hate men” jokes with my female friends all the time. this is all theoretical, but it’s interesting to realize that the gender who misgenders me more is different for different generations. is there a study on this? should i do one myself?

-on the beard note, i gave in and bought minoxidil. will it work? possibly not. do i just need facial hair like yesterday to make up for my slight bone structure and small head? yes, so i am willing to drop $23 on a six-month supply of that shit for the gamble that it will work. i frankly don’t care if i’m out $23 because of it later, at least i tried. and considering all the results i’ve seem from trans guys (even those who are pre-t!!) with minoxidil beards, i have faith that it will work at least somewhat well. besides, i need an excuse to take better care of my skin and stop scratching my zits open during the day. this will probably have multiple benefits.

-you know, i don’t even WANT a beard, i just feel like i NEED one. ideally i want like a 5 o’clock shadow but i’ll probably end up having a beard for a bit just to enforce that i’m male whenever my fucking facial hair grows in. i don’t like how this means i’m conforming to societal standards of masculinity, but you know what? sometimes, you ahve to do what you have to do in order to feel safe and comfortable in your own skin. being trans is like walking a tightrope sometimes. i think in general most of the trans people i know agree that gender roles are stupid, but there are enough radical “fuck gender roles entirely i’ll do what i want who cares if i pass” people and enough “i can’t understand why amab trans people would want to keep their facial hair/penis or why afab trans people would still want to wear makeup and dresses” that i feel like i’m an odd one out for not agreeing with either side entirely. i’ll never be caught dead in makeup or a dress, but i also wear neon pink cat socks and don’t bind all the time. i feel like no matter what i do it’s still problematic to SOME trans person somewhere, and most of me doesn’t really care but some part of me thinks it’s stupid that me desiring to pass is problematic to some people or that me owning neon pink cat socks is problematic to some people. i’ve been distancing myself from the online trans community because of it.

-my mother and i had a talk about how she treated me during my transition, and it was a lot to handle. i don’t really wanna write out a whole paragraph about it right now because it’s still a lot to process, but i am in the process of deciding how much i want to let her back into my life or if i want to continue to keep her at a distance. i think i’ll have a better idea about that after thanksgiving or christmas break (she’ll be taking care of me post-surgery, and she was hurt that i was afraid to ask her to - but it made sense to be afraid considering she had such awful reactions to things as simple as my name change, you know?) idk. we’ll see where that ends up. we’re never going to be close, but we may end up being less far apart.

-i’ve been in a depressive/executive dysfunction episode for the past like month, and not only am i failing my classes but i’ve been wearing the same like 6 shirts and 1 baggy sweatshirt and 4 pairs of basketball shorts. i regularly wear my shower shoes out (they’re just flip flops, but still) because putting on socks takes more energy than i have. the plus side is they make me look masculine, the downside is i look like literal shit almost 24/7 and someone should really force me to do laundry. if you’re reading this and you know me irl, actually please text me/fb message me and yell at me to do laundry.

-all the negative experiences i’ve had being trans no longer make me want true trans soul rebel tattooed over my top surgery scars. sorry, laura jane grace, your music saved my life and i have failed you because i am weak and want to be stealth. maybe i’ll incorporate it into the t-shot date tattoo that i’m getting on my left thigh where i had my first t-shot.

-that being said, i can’t be stealth ~yet~ outside of work because too many people already know, so i’m still wearing the iconic “i have no tits” shirt i got from wish for a whole 71 cents plus shipping to pride next time i go. (i wear it now for fun too and it makes a pretty excellent sports bra for under The Baggy Hoodie, believe it or not lmao.)

-THAT being said, i live with three men. my roommate definitely knows i’m trans bc he’s one of the first people i came out to irl, my one suitemate might know i’m trans but i can’t remember if he remembers, and my third suitemate (who is terrible and gross and i hate living with him because he leaves rotting food in the bathroom sink) does NOT know i’m trans. i was in the bathroom literally topless, with a towel around my waist and a towel over my neck/shoulders (and therefore covering my titties), and he didn’t bat an eye. my roommate saw the two of us silently coexisting in the bathroom and tried very, very hard to stifle his laughter at the situation. next semester after i have surgery, i’ll probably continue doing that for a while till i heal more, but eventually just be like “oh yeah i had ugly scars and now look at them they’re baby” lmao

-yeah that’s it for now i’ll add more if i think some

#kieran screams into the void #i have a meeting in 12 so i gtg #but like #yeah #anyone else get this shit too #ftm #trans tumblr #trans

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endlessgreysky · 5 years ago

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August 10, 2.04 am

Fun thing about ptsd is that my brain protects itself from things, until it doesn’t. A lot has happened recently and I went numb for actual weeks, and I just had a tiny moment where I felt a tiny emotion and suddenly every emotion just rushed into the crack so quickly I had a panic attack.

Lost one of my friends. Out of everyone I’m friends with she’s the one I’d expect it from, she’s the one who’s problematic enough on her own that I honestly didn’t feel anything but rage at what happened. Then I felt nothing, and I felt a little weird and bad for it but it was more important how my friends were feeling anyway. The drama is between my best friend and her, so I’m just here being pissed because my best friend is my person and I’m wildly overprotective of her. But my other friend is like the ex-friend’s person, so it’s awkward bc she’s going to keep being friends with all of us and she just wants us to work it out. She talked to me about it yesterday and I’ve just been thinking about it ever since. The first thing I did when the drama happened was remove her from social media everywhere so she can’t contact me without it being a “request” so that I can choose whether or not I engage. Thinking back I’m just beating myself up because I’m so used to dealing with drama that I never stopped to think if that was the best idea in this situation. And it’s not like I’m super excited or ready or willing to let her even a tiny bit back into my life, but in all honesty everything I feel towards her regards what happens with my best friend, so if they work things out I’ll still have removed her everywhere. I guess I got so used to losing friends and everything being impermanent that it took me this long to realize the friends I’m losing now are the ones I’d started to consider family.

I’m pissed at her, a part of me hates her, a part of me never wants to even look at her face again, but it hurts. It’s just this nagging ache that I felt when I realized that she was my family for awhile and I just shattered a part of my family since she’ll always be around as long as my other friend is. And that ache is what let in all of my other feelings as something besides my numb depressed state.

My mom had someone she loved die today and threw herself into a dinner with my dads shitty fucking family right after. They condescended her because that’s what they do, they condescended me because they think she doesn’t know how to raise me, and honestly I just hate being around them and it was in the house I grew up in and it was just really uncomfortable. Not to mention that my dad exists to make me miserable. But my mom thought things were going really well and she was actually feeling great when we went home, only to find that my cousin posted the picture she took while my mom watched her take it, and tagged everyone in it except my mom. And it made my mom upset and excluded and all of those feelings which made me really upset bc no one gets to ever fucking make my mother feel that way. She deserves better. Quite honestly, I deserve better, but I don’t care enough about myself for that.

My two best friends in the entire world deserve better too. The one I talked about earlier has a lot of dumb family drama and it’s been a hell of a lot worse lately, and there’s nothing real I can do to help her besides talk about how nice it’ll be when we have an apartment together. It’s not very reassuring since I don’t even have a job yet. And her birthday is coming soon and her family is just remaining shitty as if she’s not about to turn eighteen which should be huge and exciting. And my other best friend goes through a lot and I just can only help her so much through text but she lives in another country so there’s literally nothing more I can do to help her. It’s the worst feeling in the world, to want to fix something or help someone and literally being unable to do it.

I’m really lonely. I still haven’t told my mom about my ptsd and I’ve kind of been closed off because I don’t want to tell her anymore. My best friend lives in another country, my other has a job, and my only other real friend now is moving into a dorm soon. Those are my people and they’re amazing people and I love them with everything in me but it’s just like, there’s something missing. I guess I was really in love with this guy that broke my heart and it’s not even him anymore, it’s just that I miss that feeling. I’m tired of being alone. And almost all of my trauma is from my ex, so being in a healthy relationship is literally the only thing that works best to heal and shit bc it replaces the bad memories with good ones. My therapist says if I do that enough it should blot them out a lot, and it’s worked so fucking well with my friends that I’m just dying for it to happen romantically. I’ve been having more flashbacks and nightmares again bc my ex is back in town and it’s just looming over my head. And just bc all of my mental health is getting worse. And I have a lot of methods to cope now that are helping, but there was something about my recent ex that just helped. Like, I had a flashback once and he wrapped his arm around me and that was all it took to calm me down. It was just the feeling of being with someone in that way that was safe and comfortable and it was something I’d never felt before and idk if I’m a junkie for it or if I miss it or what but I don’t know how to really get better without that happening. And it’s going to take so much time for that to actually be able to happen again and it’s just killing me ig. I’ve also jumped into this self destructive state where I’ve convinced myself that I want or even need to see my ex again for like closure or some bullshit, as if I don’t know the fucking panic I would go through even if we stayed forty feet away from each other the entire time.

My life has gotten so quiet and depressed recently that I’ve stopped listening to music most of the time, which is like ridiculously sad. And concerning. Music is literally the thing in this world that means the most to me that I care the most about and I just don’t fucking care about it right now. I don’t feel like I have the mental energy. I have no idea why or what’s wrong with me but you know what? It’s terrifying me.

I’ve been drowning all of my problems in fanfiction like nobody’s business. It’s wildly problematic bc I’m burying my feelings, I’m not doing anything bc on the days I don’t read all day I’m sleeping all day bc I read all night. I haven’t written anything for my novel in a month now and I’m very aware of it but I couldn’t be bothered to work on it, which is bad bc I’m about two weeks away from missing my second goal for it and I’ll beat myself up a lot once I start having feelings again. (Funnily enough I’m going numb again now that I’m getting all of my emotions out here.) I’ve deadass cancelled plans with myself and other people to read the fanfiction. And like it’s great fucking fanfiction but it’s getting far passed even the term unhealthy. In fact, I literally started crying during my panic attack earlier because I’d convinced myself Wade Wilson was so real that when reality hit I couldn’t handle it. It’s like I was using Wade comforting Peter (Parker, its Spideypool) as my own emotional comfort in that kind of relationship way I’ve been missing. And even knowing he’s not real I’ve been taking a lot of comfort knowing he would beat the shit out of my ex if he ever met him. But yeah I’ve been channeling myself through their relationship and living through it and it’s been one of my most incredible acts of escapism yet, and then I realized I don’t actually have someone to hold me when I break and reality crashed onto me so much fucking harder. And I think it’s also that I know Wade’s character enough to trust him and so I’ve become a fictional characters emotional leech and I let it get so intense unintentionally that I literally couldn’t handle the reality that didn’t have him in it. This kind of makes me sound crazy lmao. Funnily enough, I used to have breakdowns like this a lot whenever I got way too into my escapism. But usually it was just a lot of sadness - the only other time I had one at this level was when I started to realize that my entire fantasy universe wasn’t going to come to life when I grew up. Basically, I had a very intense childhood but like fuck i was lonely back then and I guess I must be that lonely now. At least this time I’m creating fake significant others instead of having only imaginary friends.

My therapist and I haven’t been able to meet much over the summer and it’s been enough for me to pull back and make my issues seem better than they are, which is probably a lot of the reason I’m suddenly a fucking mess. Luckily for me, she’s gone this week so I won’t get to see her 🙃. But anyway, I think I got everything out and I definitely feel like this helped. I needed to vent in a way I haven’t done in a while. I’ve also been being misgendered a LOT on my recent trips and it’s all by family which affects me worse bc they know my identity and don’t work to correct themselves. So that’s not helping. And it might be almost 3 am now but I’m definitely diving straight back into fanfiction for awhile longer before going to bed. I can admit I’ve taken it way over the top but escapism is my bitch for a reason and I’m not giving up on it now. I think I am gonna try to make some sort of note for my therapist so that I don’t keep talking about my issues like they’re better than they are. I always do it but with her it’s a problem lmao. Oh, I’m also avoiding sleep tonight bc I don’t want nightmares. So there’s that gem. I turn 18 in 15 days and I’ve stopped making plans bc I literally don’t care anymore. Taking stock on the things I’ve stopped caring about, I’m literally a huge fucking mess and I didn’t even realize. Oh! And I’ve also started having a lot of self esteem issues bc it’s hot outside and my stretch marks on my thighs show with my shorts on. That hasn’t been a problem for me in years.

Anyway, I think I’m finally done now. I seriously doubt anyone read all the way through this long ass vent, but on the off chance that you did, thank you for your time. I really appreciate it. I hope you’re having a better time than I am, you deserve all of the good things and I hope you’re getting all of them and more. Please have a good morning, day, or night. Stay hydrated and do something nice for yourself bc you deserve it! All my love 💕

Chris xx

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writingindarkness · 5 years ago

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We need to talk about my dad more often

I grew up thinking my dad was the most cool and open minded adult in my life. That’s the word I used most to describe him during my teenage years: open minded. My parents were divorced, I was always in conflict with my mom, and discussions with her side of the family always ended up in tears on my side because they were a bunch of conservater-ish snobs who thought teenage me was only yelling about socialism and inclusion because it was teenage me.

My dad was an artist and a socialist (he had a party card at some point), with cool friends and family members who treated me like an actual person rather than a naive child when we were arguing politics and when I talked about my life choices.

So yeah. My dad was the good guy.

Fast forward ten years later. I travel a lot but whenever I come home I go back to living with my dad, because I have a useless bachelor degree and the books I write are a couple galaxies away from paying any kind of rent.

I have figured out a way to communicate with my mum without it turning into a five acts drama, and she’s one of the few family members to whom I’ve come out as a non binary trans man. She says it’s okay.

She also says she’s not ready to call me by my chosen name and to use my pronouns, and really we should keep that between us, right?

Right. Room for improvement here, but I’m fairly certain I can get her there eventually.

My dad is one of the family members I know I cannot come out to. I’ll pass on the personal reasons and the reality of the kind of person my father truly is when you stop seeing him through the eyes of a teenager who’s being emotionally abused by the other side of the family. It’s that but it’s not just that.

My father recently pointed out in a kind of annoyed way that I was “becoming completely obsessed with that”-and by “that” he means... literally anything related to queerness. Queer people, queer fiction, queer community, you name it. Apparently I “talk about it all the time”. He didn’t tell me to stop talking about it or that it annoyed him, mind you.

(I should have answered “yes, and?” why the fuck didn’t I answer “yes, and?”!!)

My father recently sighed during an episode of a show we were watching when one of the characters came home and kissed their same sex partner hello. “That’s how it is, nowadays. They need to put that everywhere. They can’t make a show without it.” (I’m paraphrasing but I can’t remember him using actual words to talk about gay characters on tv.)

He didn’t turn the tv off. It was actually his second time watching the show, he wanted me to see it too. We went through the whole thing. There were more gay characters in the next season. We still watched it.

A few years ago a gay couple got married in the association my dad is part of. They asked my dad to give a speech. It was very emotional. The couple and all the guests all praised my dad for his speech.

Last year my dad had to go to Paris for work. The gay couple for whom he gave a speech at their wedding hosted him. When he came home, my dad cheerfully explained to me that although he likes them very much, he shall not stay at their place again in the future. You see, it made him kind of uncomfortable.

What he means by it wasn’t very clear.

I could go on and on. I brought new friends over recently. They’re a couple, and they’re both agender, both using the pronouns he/him. A has a beard. B presents more neutrally. My dad likes them a lot. He said so, unprompted, one evening. “They’re so nice, the friends you’ve brought over. I really like them.” He was being completely genuine about it. He sincerely likes them.

But he cannot, for the life of him, gender B correctly. He consistently misgenders them.

He does the same with the open trans woman in the show we’re currently watching.

So I keep postponing coming out to him.

Not because he might hurt me if I do. Not because he’s going to kick me out if I do. Not even because he’s transphobic. Because that’s the thing: my dad isn’t transphobic -I mean, of course he is, but not in the way most people imagine a transphobic person.

When you say transphobic you imagine a red faced trumpist getting someone arrested or worse, shooting them, for trying to use the bathroom.

You imagine a bigoted parent forcing their child through conversion therapy.

You imagine a smiling face who continues to gender their kid wrong and using their dead name, denying their identity.

Because those are the kind of transphobic parents we always talk about.

My dad doesn’t want queer people dead. My dad sincerely believes that queer people should be left the fuck alone to do whatever the fuck they want and be whatever the fuck they are. My dad doesn’t give much of a shit. He thought the assholes marching against gay mariage in France a few years back were a complete joke. If dead trans kids were something the news talked about sometimes, I’m pretty sure my dad would be very sorry about them. We would hear him rage about transphobic parents from time to time.

He’s not transphobic. He’s just stupid.

I’m fucking serious.

My mom has exactly as much internalized homophobia and transphobia as my dad. Like him, she believes we should have the same rights as everybody else and she doesn’t understand why we’re still being persecuted all over the world. But she doesn’t personally know any queer people except me, and being actually confronted with it makes her uncomfortable. Her first reaction was to ask me to keep it a secret. She doesn’t think she can use my new name and pronouns just yet -and is making zero effort to try and get used to it.

But she’s smart. She questions things. Now that she’s being confronted with the reality of having a queer relative, she’s wondering about it. About how it affects our relationship. About what to do and say so as not to damage said relationship.

She asks questions.

She fucking listens what I answer them.

My dad’s not smart enough to do that.

My dad cannot possibly have failed to notice that all my friends call me a different name than the one he uses when they come over, and that we all talk about me in a masculine way. He definitely noticed that I’m now wearing swim trunks when we go to the pool, and that I come home with men’s haircut.

But he didn’t ask, and he never will.

He doesn’t wonder what it means, what is happening, and how it affects our relationship.

He doesn’t want to know, because if he knew then he’d have to make an effort, to go out of his way to accommodate my feelings so as not to damage our relationship. And he doesn’t want to do that. So he’s pretending to be blind and deaf. It’s not his fault if he doesn’t know.

Queerness makes him uncomfortable, because it’s so foreign to him, and he’s not as open minded as I originally thought he was. He stops at that. It makes him uncomfortable, therefore he doesn’t want it. Neither on tv nor in his life. Granted, he won’t make any active effort to get rid of it -he continues watching shows in which there are gay people and he doesn’t cast people out of his life upon discovering that they’re queer.

He just pretends it isn’t there, because he’s too stupid to realize that it’s already damaging our relationship. He’s too stupid to realize that it’s narrowing his horizon.

He’s not queerphobic. He’s just dumb.

And we need to talk about dumb parents more.

TL;DR: some parents aren’t queerphobic, they’re just too stupid and lazy to get over their internalized queerphobia, and we should talk about it more cause I don’t know what to do.

#no hate please #i'm expecting a lot of people to disagree about how i define queerphobia #that's cool #i'm open to constructive criticism #just don't fucking yell at me #don't be assholes about it #if you can't keep calm don't engage #i just think we need to acknowledge parents that aren't complete assholes #just enough for it to make life complicated #anyway #me #TheDadTM

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real-life-cephalopod · 3 years ago

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First of all:

I offer everyone in this thread my metaphorical hand in marriage. This is probably my favorite “hey guys we should being doing this instead” post on Tumblr.

SECONDLY: Storytime!

As im sure you all know, plenty of little kids will spontaneously want to be called (often nonsensical) nicknames.

E.g., things like: Princess Bubblegum Sparkle #4, King Boss God of Space, Puppy Forest Leopard Bear! (name credits go to my little siblings)

* Anyway, In 1-2nd (?) grade, for some reason that i dont remember, a trend of of giving yourself a “fancy” new name went around the class. It started of as role-playing during recess, but eventually it crossed into these extravagant nicknames we even used in the classroom. at that point the teacher decided to shut that stuff down.

Now, i, a little rebel, was positively enraged by this. So i decided to take it one step further and tell other kids not only to refer to me as Asteroid, but also to replace “she” and “her” with “pebble” or “peb.” I encouraged my friend group to do the same and soon we had a little troup of neopronoun-using 2nd graders.

I cant remember the specifics of who used what, but i do recall my best friend at the time (who wanted to be called Queen *her name*) using “glitter,” “tiara,” and “gem” prns.

The rest of the class got in on it and started making up their own. It even became a thing of honor to not call someone bu their wrong name. If you called someone by their birth name, the news would spread and no one would use your chosen name for the next day or so.

Word traveled, and even other classes got in on it. It was the new, cool thing to have a sick nickname and get rid of those old, lame pronouns. By the next week the entire class basically had a competition over who could come up with the coolest name and pronouns. One even went so far as saying he liked all of the choices so we could call him anything.

Eventually, the teachers shut it down- for good this time. Parents were called, no recess for the rest of the week, and if anyone was heard using any more “silly names” their clip would be moved down or they would get a note sent home.

After a while we all forgot about it, but recently i was thinking back on elementary school and realized… holy shit?!

For a solid month, a group of ~50 8 yr olds got together and basically “invented” and put into practice the concepts of:

- chosen names

- neopronouns (& neogenders?)

- misgendering and deadnaming (?!?!?)

(all without even knowing what pronouns and gender even WERE)

So,,, yeah???? if a group of literal prepubescent monsters can not only grasp the concept of being nonbinary(etc.), but also keep track of that stuff for dozens of other little kids? Yeah, you CAN use they/them for someone. Or compliment a guy’s skirt. Or let your kid dye their hair. Or back up anyone who’s tired of continuously being put into a box by society.

Its not difficult to respect someone’s identity and preferences about THEMSELVES. You’re just an asshole :)

* (I’m aware this story might sound unrealistic, but i was a very strange child. i started reading Jack London in kindergarten and regularly brought hard drives with powerpoint presentations over things such as the fibonacci sequence and mantle convection currents to class whenever i felt like it. i was a fun-sized, neurodivergent menace with a shockingly high iq to match my severe behavioral issues)

literally who CARES if straight cis men are wearing skirts for ‘clout’!!! I want to live in a world where being gnc is desirable to them rather than one where they make bigoted jokes about it. it’s GOOD that people with the privilege to do so are normalising gender non conformity and i dont give a shit if they have deliberate political intentions or if they’re just having fun you guys are all so annoying

#we’re put into a box at a young age #gender norms are learned #we aren’t born with the innate instinct to determine wether or not we’re allowed to wear a skirt #enby #nonbinary #pronouns

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rivertellsstories · 6 years ago

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The case of the demon’s den #3

If you can’t find part 1and 2, feel free to shoot me a message!

Words: 2432

Editing: nope

Ships: JOJOBUTTONS CHAPTER WHOO, eventual Javid, eventual Spromeo, eventual Newsbians, Blush

Things you should know: Buttons, Smalls and Sniper are girls, JoJo is nonbinary, Race, Romeo, Jack and Smalls are adopted siblings. There are horror elements in this fic.

Chapter 3: The only logical thing to do in a haunted house, is to watch Barbie movies.

By Sunday noon, the demon’s den living room had traces of every newsie all over it and they decide to throw a modest housewarming party. Henry and Buttons have taken over the kitchen and are baking cookies, Finch and Sniper are outside, trying to teach Smalls how to use a slingshot. It’s not going well, but at least they aren’t inside with those slingshots. A bunch of people are lazing around on the couch and on chairs. The unfortunate ones have to sit on the floor. Race and Albert are trying to make the DVD-player work and it seems like they’re succeeding. Romeo and Specs are having a heated discussion over which Barbie movie they should watch.

“Princess and the Pauper!” Romeo yells and hits Specs with a pillow he found somewhere. “Three Musketeers!” Specs shrieks back and wrestles with Romeo. Jack silently inserts Barbie & the Diamond Castle before either of them notices it and when the movie starts to play, they break up their fight to glare at the tv. “Who is the fool that wants to die?” Romeo growls and Specs glares too. Wisely, Jack stays silent and sits down in front of the couch. Grumbling, Specs and Romeo sit down too and angrily snack on the potato chips that Mush brought along.

Speaking of Mush, Jack is fairly sure that he and Blink are making out somewhere. Ah well, who cares.

Halfway the movie, the two of them return and Blink drapes himself across all the people who are sitting on the couch and steals a cookie from Elmer. “This is cosy.” The sentence is barely understandable through the cookie in his mouth and Mush gives him a disgusted look. “Really Blink? I’ve got to kiss that mouth.” With his mouth still full of cookies, Blink grins. “You’ve got to do exactly nothing.” “Okay then”, Mush says and leaves for the kitchen. Promptly, Blink clambers from the mountain of people he had placed himself on and trails after Mush. “Babe, come back!”

“Whipped”, Specs whispers as soon as Blink is out of earshot and Tommy Boy snorts. “Like you are any better.” Specs turns to him with a confused look on his face. “What’s that supposed to mean? I don’t have a boyfriend. I wish I had a boyfriend. I’m lonely.” Romeo reaches up to pat his head. “Same bro.” Their friends watch the scene, but decide not to comment on it. Eventually they’ll figure it out. Maybe. Who knows. Probably not.

“You know what this evening-“ “It’s afternoon” “Shut up Jack. Do you know what this evening needs?” Buttons asks, when she gently pushes JoJo out of their chair and claims it for herself. “Candles!” JoJo, who’s now on the floor, gives her a smile. “I can get you those, wait here for a minute.” After JoJo left the room, Tommy Boy smirks. “Whipped nr.2”, he announces and Buttons kicks him for it. “Shut up, dickwad.”

Within record time, JoJo is back with some candles. “The first time we went here, I discovered these”, they inform Buttons. “Now get off my chair and enjoy your candles.” Childishly she refuses to return their chair. “Nope it’s mine now. Nothing you can do about it.” They give her a flat look before picking her up and lifting her high above their head. “You weight literally nothing”, they remark before sitting down on the chair and placing Buttons on their lap. “There we go, place for two.”

Nothing out of place happens, and in the late afternoon, before the sun begins to set, they say goodbye to each other and plan to meet up here the next Saturday with the whole group. Some people want to come back earlier in the week and Jack advises them to go in groups. “In case you fall down the stairs”, he adds as a joke, but it falls flat as all of them pointedly stare at his right leg, where is his pants are hiding a massive bruise. Then their gazes travel up to his forehead, where a faint line indicates the place where he headbutted a step. “Just be careful y’all.”

Later that night, when JoJo is staring at their ceiling, trying to fall asleep, they suddenly come to a conclusion. They recall grabbing the candles, and dropping them again because they had been hot. They are fairly certain that none of the newsies had gone upstairs, which means that someone else must’ve lit those candles. The sound of their phone alerts them of a new message in their group chat. ‘Anybody want to go to the DD (demon’s den) w/me after school tomorrow? I need to fill up our snack cabinets.’

Immediately they want to tell Buttons not to go, but then they remember that Blink and Mush had been gone for a suspiciously long time during the movie. Also, aren’t candles supposed to be a mood setter or something? Relieved that they simply have a very active imagination, they shoot a message back. ‘Sure, count me in.’

“I’m going to fucking kill Denton” rages Buttons as she enters the ‘DD’. “Who deducts points for grammar mistakes?” “Well, he is our English teacher”, JoJo points out and they get a glare in return. They raise their hands in surrender. “Don’t mind me stating the facts.” Grumbling, she admits that they are sort of right. “I’m craving some cookies and this house has a working oven. Want to help?” Despite never having baked cookies before, JoJo quickly agrees.

“Jorgelino Josephino De La Guerra” The use of their full name shouldn’t get to them like this, but JoJo’s heart skips a beat and their breathing stutters for a minute. “Yeah?” they answer when they’re sure that their voice isn’t going to sound like that of a six year old. “What in God’s name are you doing?” Buttons’ voice is filled with amusement and JoJo sticks out their tongue. “I’m making cookies, Yasmin Davenport”, he retorts and she tries to keep herself from cracking up. “I see”, she says and eyes their clothes, which were black half an hour ago. Now they are streaked with flour.

They even managed to get some of the stuff in their hair. “Bow down, skyscraper. There’s flour in your hair.” They bow down and as Buttons reaches for their hair, JoJo places their arms around her legs and hauls her up. “There we go”, they giggle as they set a shrieking Buttons on the kitchen counter. “That’s better for my back.” “What are you? An eighty year old?” “Slowly getting there.”

Sitting on the kitchen counter, Buttons is finally taller than JoJo and as she looks down at their messy hair and lazy grin and feels the warmth of their hands on her thighs, she leans down. JoJo meets her halfway and for a few seconds it’s merely their lips touching. Then JoJo growls and pulls her close, while she tangles her hands into their hair and gives an experimental tug. That, combined with her softly tugging on their bottom lip, draws an obscene sound from their lips and Buttons groans in return.

“Fuck JoJo”, she breathes and kisses their neck. “I’ve been wanting this since sixth grade”, she pants. “Remember when someone pulled the arm of my favourite teddy bear off and you tried to stitch it back? Your stitching was awful, but damn if it wasn’t sweet.” She presses another bruising kiss onto their neck and JoJo keens. When their eyes cross, JoJo brings out: “Me since eighth.” They gently rub circles into Buttons’ thighs and she sighs with pleasure. “That fucking teacher wouldn’t stop misgendering me no matter how much I asked him to stop and you plainly started screeching whenever he opened his mouth. That’s when I first thought: yup, she’s the one.”

While they are busy staring at each other, they hear the sound of a door opening. Quickly they spring apart and Buttons calls out: “Hey! Who’s there?” When she gets no answer, she and JoJo trade glances. “Wanna go look?” she asks and they nod. “Wait, let me take this along.” Out of their backpack they grab a 12 inch cross. “JoJo, I’m 90% sure that ghosts don’t exist.” JoJo grins and mischief sparkles in their eyes as they reveal a blade hidden within the cross. “This one ain’t for ghosts.” With an aghast expression on her face she eyes the cross-dagger in JoJo’s hand. “Why do you have such a thing? Where do you even get something like that? Whatever, just don’t give one to Race. Ever.” Their grin widens. “Bold of you to assume that I haven’t given him one yet.”

Nothing seems out of the ordinary as they wander around the house and every door they come across is closed. Even the doors upstairs aren’t open. Confused, JoJo enters the attic bedroom and plops down on the bed. As Buttons sits down next to them, the door locks itself. Immediately both of them rush to the door and try to open it in vain. “What the fuck”, Buttons whispers as she peers through the keyhole. “There’s no key in here, but we both heard a key and this fucking door won’t open. There’s nobody in the hallway and we heard no one. What the shit is going on?”

Before JoJo can answer, a high and feminine scream rings through the house. In a moment of clarity, JoJo pulls out their phone and calls the first person in his contact list. For a moment they fear that nothing’s going to happen, but then they hear that the call is going through and after three rings, Finch picks up. “Sup JoJo.”

“HeyButtonsandImightbedyingsoonpleasehelpus” They spit the words out at a nearly impossible pace and Finch is silent for a minute. “What? Speak slower buddy.”

“We’re in the demon’s den and we’re locked into the room. There should be nobody here except us, but we just heard someone scream. Please help us.”

“Shit, I’m coming. Where exactly are you guys?” “We’re in the attic bedr-“ Once again, a scream is heard throughout the house and judging by the sharp intake of his breath, Finch had heard it too. “Fuck, I hope you guys have something to defend yourselves with. I’m on my way.” Finch hangs up and JoJo clutches their dagger-cross tighter.

The minutes go by slowly and both of them sit on the bed in silence. Their hands are intertwined and JoJo runs their thumb over the back of Buttons’ hand in what they hope is a comforting manner. A smile graces Buttons lips as she gives them a brief kiss on the tip of their nose. “You’re a sweetheart” They want to tell her the same thing and about a million things more, but the words get stuck in their throat and all they can do is blush and press little kisses all over Buttons’ face.

“Would’ya look at that”, Finch comments as he enters the room, a grin plastered on his stupid face. It’s hard to tell whether JoJo or Buttons is glaring more at him, but he ignores it.

“This one” he raps his knuckles against the door “was open. If you weren’t busy” he waggles his eyebrows at that part and continues “maybe you would’ve noticed. Also, you guys left the tv on and some horror movie was playing. I shut it off.”

From downstairs, the sound of voices travel up and as Buttons and JoJo tense up, Finch quickly waves away their fears. “That’s just the guys. I called everybody and they all wanted to be involved in the JoButtons rescue mission.” The tension drains out of their shoulders and Buttons grabs JoJo’s hand and speed walks out of the room. For some reason, JoJo looks back and their eyes land on a mirror. They can’t make out a face, or even a person but when they close their eyes, hauntingly blue eyes are imprinted in their mind.

As JoJo goes down the stairs, they see something move out of the corner of their eye and turn to look at it. Their own image stares back at them from a mirror, but the view is distorted, like in one of those houses of mirrors at the carnival. As they stand still to watch their comically warped reflection, it changes. Its amused smile moulds itself into an unnaturally wide grin and when it opens its mouth, it reveals two rows of teeth on both the upper- and lower side of it’s mouth. The image unravels its long, sharp tongue and licks the second row of teeth in the upper side of its mouth. Completely caught in a mix between horror and morbid fascination, JoJo keeps watching until Finch’s voice breaks them out of their trance.

“What’cha looking at JoJo?” When Finch looks at the mirror, JoJo’s reflection has turned back to normal. “That’s a pretty funny thing, but if we keep standing on these stairs, the others will worry. Let’s go downstairs.” JoJo complies to Finch’s request, but as they turn their back to the mirror, they feel a gaze following them. It feels awfully wrong and merely thinking about it makes them nauseous. “JoJo”, a mangled voice garbles and judging by their lack of a reaction neither Finch nor Buttons heard it. JoJo pretends they don’t either and they have never felt more relieved than when they set a foot into the living room and get surrounded by a heap of newsies.

The first person who comes into view is Romeo. He runs towards them, opens his arms for a hug, sees the cross-dagger in JoJo’s hand and immediately retreats. “Excuse my wording, but what the fuck is that?” From the couch, Race holds up a necklace with a cross and clicks it open. “Look Romeo, JoJo gave me one too!” Befuddled, Buttons rakes a hand through her hair. “I thought you were kidding when you said that Race had one too. Why did you think that was a good idea?” They smile sheepishly at her. “Sorry babe, but since Albert handled his responsibly, I thought Race would be able to do the same.”

As Jack shouts: “Babe?” in utter confusion, Buttons looks like she’s on the brink of a breakdown. “Albert has a dagger-cross too? JoJo you can’t do that.”

“That’s right”, a new voice speaks up and the room falls silent. All of them stare at the new boy leaning against the doorframe with Hello Kitty socks on his feet, as he casually eats the chocolate that was supposed to go into JoJo and Buttons’ cookies. “No crosses”, he continues. “This is a nice and respectable Jewish household.”

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florrickandassociates · 7 years ago

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TGF Thoughts: 2x06-- Day 443

Sorry for the delay, guys. I liked this episode but for some reason I found it super boring to rewatch and kept putting off writing this. (I think you will be able to tell that I was writing this just to write something.)

A chair sits in a brightly lit, half unfinished room. This turns out to be the studio where Adrian is recording an interview with Cable News (they say it like it’s a proper noun in this episode so I’ve decided it is). Adrian looks uncomfortable doing this—the strange room, the logistics of the interview, the soundcheck, the unmanned camera.

We only hear Adrian’s side of the interview, and we have no context for it, so it sounds awkward. He misgenders someone (he can’t see the rest of the panel) (this is just like s5 Alicia!) and makes a comment about a case and then it’s over.

When Adrian arrives at the office, he’s wearing a black baseball cap. I am not sure why but it’s a look.

Marissa applauds him when he gets off the elevator—apparently the ten words he said were super impressive. Marissa also informs Adrian that Diane and Julius are in his office and there’s a visitor there for him. What, exactly, is Marissa’s job?

There are still boxes left over from the party. That’s a lot of booze.

“The next time they ask me to be a pundit, tell me no,” Adrian laughs, thinking he made a fool of himself.

“Wait, wait, wait, we’ve got to discuss Lucca,” Diane says as Adrian starts to leave. “We can’t ask her if she’s pregnant. It’s illegal,” Julius explains. “And Lucca’s not saying anything,” Adrian understands. The partners quickly realize that Lucca’s not saying anything specifically so she isn’t bumped from “the biggest case of the year” which goes to trial in two months.

Julius’s solution is to “talk to her friend Maia” to get info about Lucca’s pregnancy. Well, that’s shitty. Also, where is Liz? In this episode, but also in this scene specifically. We get Julius for this but not the name partner who is a mother?

The dude involved in the Peeper case Adrian referenced on Cable News shows up in the conference room, wanting Adrian to represent him.

And it’s Adrian’s lucky day, because a prominent Chicago lawyer we’ve never heard of is in reception too! Diane seems more impressed by him than I would think, since I was long under the impression that Diane Lockhart was supposed to be one of the biggest names in the Chicago legal world.

Ok I take that back, this Franz dude says “And Diane Lockhart, I know you,” when after introducing himself to Adrian. Ok, good.

He also knows Julius. Where has Julius been these past few episodes? I thought he was a series regular. Maybe he went for a visit to the New York office. Or he was spending time with the six children he has.

Franz was impressed with Adrian’s Cable News appearance too. It apparently has 300,000 likes.

Franz tries to stand while everyone from RBL sits, and Adrian won’t let him. I’m reminded of the Supreme Court Superlawyer in W4x09 who preached at Diane, Will, and Alicia. Adrian remains standing, so Franz can’t literally talk down to him.

Then some weird pantomiming of fighting happens. I am unsure what is going on, but I do know that Adrian’s air punches have been gifed and are on GIPHY or something, because on my commute home one day this week I looked up for a second and saw a gif of Adrian from this scene on someone else’s phone screen. (Sadly, he selected another, non-TGF gif to use in his conversation.)

Oh, we are talking about Wilk Hobson again. I didn’t realize he was in multiple episodes—I only remembered him from 2x05—but he popped up last night when I was rewatching 4x17, and IMDb says he’s also in 2x10.

Franz wants to talk about the lawyer killings. In fact, he informs RBL, “the big six firms have been meeting over the past few weeks to discuss how to address this problem.” I’ve never heard of the Big Six firms, but I guess that makes sense. If all firms in Fictional Chicago go through as much turmoil as LG always did, I can definitely believe there’s an alliance of six firms we’ve never heard of before.

Franz extends RBL an invitation to meet with the Big Six, because he saw Adrian on Cable News.

After the meeting, Diane and Adrian are shocked and Julius is so excited he’s had to leave the room (lol no he’s just disappeared without an explanation again). “What DID you say on Cable News?” Diane asks.

Now we get to see the Cable News panel from the other side, and I’m still not sure why what Adrian said is impressive. It lasts for about five seconds and he offers some mild pushback. That’s it. I feel like if you’re going to bother with showing something from one perspective and then later filling in the blanks, the scene should make sense the second time around. It still seems awkward and abrupt to me, and even though I’ve seen the episode and know what Peeper is, I don’t get what Adrian’s talking about. I am not sure what would get this clip 300,000 likes?

Diane and Marissa (who’s popped up because… idk she has) encourage Adrian to go on Cable News again.

The fact that Adrian has a framed picture of himself with Obama is fantastic but it doesn’t really help me believe that his office is anything other than Diane’s office, redecorated. Just swap out the Hillary/Diane pic for an Obama/Adrian one…

Adrian was doubting his Cable News abilities, but not anymore!

Julius goes to talk to Maia about Lucca’s pregnancy. Maia is at a table rather than a work station and Julius asks why. “I got here too late,” Maia says. Why would you tell your boss that, Maia? I can’t imagine RBK is chill with people strolling in whenever they want (though actually, maybe they would have a flex hours program) and you probs shouldn’t tell a partner that you arrived to work too late to grab a desk.

Julius asks Maia about Lucca’s “condition” and they both know what he’s talking about. “I think she wants to be thought of as a lawyer and not an expectant mother,” Maia explains. Yeah, something like that. And Lucca’s not even slightly wrong to assume her pregnancy would affect things.

Case in point: seconds after Maia says this, Julius doubles back to ask Maia to take the lead on the next step in Lucca’s big case. Maia is stunned and runs after Julius to protest her new assignment. It’s Lucca’s case, after all. When Maia asks why she’s been put in charge of the motion, Julius says “I’m a partner, and you’re an associate, and I want you to take it.” Good ‘ol Julius. I think he takes pleasure in lording his power over underlings.

“Is this about Lucca’s condition?” Maia asks. Um, yes, it obviously is. Equally obvious is that Julius would never say that out loud.

“No. It’s about you having a chance to be first chair,” Julius replies.

“Does Lucca know?” Maia asks next. “No. Go ahead and tell her!” Julius tells Maia. Seriously, he sounds delighted to give Maia this task.

Maia immediately goes to inform Lucca. “You are different since your ride-along,” Lucca observes after Maia makes a comment about being fine without a desk. What? First Maia was different after prison, now she’s different after her ride-along… can we stop saying Maia’s changed so much? And if we’re going to stick with that narrative, can it at least be consistent? I don’t even understand what her ride-along would’ve changed or how her comment about desks is possibly related to it.

Lucca jumps right into talking about the case, and Maia hesitantly tells her about what Julius asked her to do. Lucca asks why, and Maia says she doesn’t know, but Julius was asking about her “condition.” Lucca just goes, “Oh, fuck.” She’s not thrilled that the partners are assuming things about her work performance.

“You haven’t even told me, and I’m your friend,” Maia says. … Lucca is v obviously pregnant (she’s showing!). But, as she says, it’s not that she’s unaware that others can tell—it’s at least in part “just having those words [I’m pregnant] come out of my mouth. It feels weird.”

“Now, here’s the other worry. I’m on the partner track. For the first time in my career, I have some traction. And now I’m worried they’ll use… this to penalize me,” Lucca explains.

This prompts Maia to say what may be the smartest thing I’ve ever heard Maia say: that the partners can’t legally penalize Lucca for her pregnancy, but if she continues to keep it a secret, they can blame “performance” and make moves against her without being liable.

I do not remember much about the opposing counsel in the COTW, Amber Wood Lutz, but I remember that she was on last season and I expected her to become a recurring player. And here we are again.

“Every time a new lawyer is killed, I think of you,” she tells Adrian. I definitely don’t remember this rivalry. It was probably a thing. I just don’t remember it.

Mike from Veep is a judge now! He keeps saying that trials are nothing like what we see on TV. He even makes the same comments twice. The point—which could’ve been conveyed in far fewer lines, IMO—is that this trial is going to become extremely theatrical (even by TGW/F standards) since Adrian’s in Cable News mode.

This case is not that interesting. It could be, but it’s not much more than an excuse to talk about the alt-right and neo-Nazis. So, I probably won’t comment on it much, if at all.

Diane and Adrian head from court to a meeting of the Big Six Plus RBL, which is being held in a space that looks like the Cheesecake Factory but for people who think they’re too classy for the Cheesecake Factory.

Amber Wood Lutz is also in the Big Six. Adrian believes this is because they are “pretending to be diverse.”

I really don’t know how I’m forgetting this Amber/Adrian rivalry from last season. It’s quite intense.

Oh God, I’m only just at the credits? Can you tell from how sloppy my writing is that I just want to get this written? This episode wasn’t bad and it wasn’t great. It wasn’t even that interesting. I like writing about things that give me a lot to chew on, and I like writing about things that are so terrible I can rant for pages. Recapping something boring… is boring.

This episode was written and directed by women! (Finally.)

RBL is asked to donate $40,000 pretty much immediately after they sit down at the table. The widow of a wealthy lawyer needs $40,000 donations from seven firms? Why the fuck does she need $280k?

“We are being hunted,” Franz says. The show would like us to believe, at least to an extent, that the lawyer killings aren’t being investigated thoroughly because the police and lawyers aren’t friendly and everyone hates lawyers.

Now we get a rehash of the debate about giving the police your firm’s client list that we already heard in 2x03. That reminds me, when do we get to learn more about Liz’s husband?

Adrian comes up with a good next step for the Big Six. And then he’s on Cable News again (okay, it’s called Review of the Day). This time, he isn’t doing an interview remotely, but it’s the same show. If the show was in Chicago this whole time, why was Adrian doing the interview remotely from a studio in the first place?

There is another black man on the panel that night—“I’m the young, angry activist. You’re the older Obama statesman. That’s the only way they keep two black pundits on the panel, if we both stick to our lanes,” the other panelist warns. Adrian waves this advice off.

There’s been another lawyer killing, only this one may be racially motivated as well. Or, at least, that’s what Cable News thinks. This goes about as well as anyone who has ever watched a panel on actual cable news would expect, which is to say that people start screaming at each other about racism and making claims they can’t support based off of baseless assumptions they’ve made.

Adrian then insults Asshole Panelist and says he’s being overpaid to “ignorantly yap your mouth off.” Heh. I get why that one might go viral.

This makes the other panelists mad. Asshole Panelist thinks Adrian is playing high and mighty and the other black panelist accuses him of intentionally coming after his job. Even the host isn’t thrilled: Adrian mentioned money, and you’re not supposed to mention money.

Adrian’s second appearance is poorly received by some of his peers, even though this time, he was sure of what he was doing. Diane (playfully) accuses Adrian of intentionally stirring up trouble, and Adrian doesn’t deny it. Instead, he smiles and laughs.

For some reason there is a young woman who wants an autograph in reception at Adrian’s office. Don’t y’all have security?

Case stuff happens.

Lucca waits nervously to talk to the partners. She chats with Marissa a little and informs her of her pregnancy. “I’m telling everyone now,” she says. Marissa says she’s going to throw Lucca a shower—with a stripper. I want to see that! The shower, not the stripper. (Though…)

The partners congratulate Lucca when she shares her news. It seems genuine enough, and I’d love to believe that the partners won’t hold Lucca’s pregnancy against her. It’s certainly possible not to! I just need to see it to believe it with these people at this firm on this show.

“The birth date is scheduled for May 22nd,” Lucca says. It’s SCHEDULED? Honey. I’ve never spent any time around babies and even I know that you can’t make a baby obey your schedule. Lucca claims she’ll be back at work on the 25th. I’m curious to see how Lucca’s priorities and expectations shift over the course of the season. I think it’s very reasonable that she would want to keep working and I definitely don’t expect—or want—to have that choice invalidated. But a lot of what Lucca’s saying right now sounds more like denial of the realities of being a parent and nervousness about losing the things that are part of her identity than an actual plan for parenting.

Julius Cain is the father of six. I am assuming he doesn’t spend much time with any of his SIX kids given that there are six of them, and in nine years we’ve never heard about a single one. Poor Julius. The writing for him seems to consist of excuses for why he’s been absent and revelations that are out of left field. (Though I do buy that he’s the father of six. If you told me he was the father of six and he was very involved in his kids’ lives, I might have a problem believing that.)

Yeah, the partners are just putting on a show. They’re still going to watch Lucca very carefully. And they’re going to keep Maia ready to step in. If this case is so big, why is MAIA the backup plan? No offense to Maia (or maybe offense to Maia)—she hasn’t proven herself capable of this so why would the partners trust her with a big case?

The Big Six are back at Fancy Cheesecake Factory because that’s their favorite spot. I don’t even know what’s going on. It’s about police suits. I don’t care, since I know this whole conversation is lead-up to the reveal about Franz trying to woo RBL into dropping their police brutality suits so he’ll get more business from the police. It’s also a theoretical debate about issues I can’t have a stance on because they’re created for the show. Are the police failing to investigate lawyer killings? I mean, IDK, because the lawyer killings are fiction.

JULIUS wants to pursue police brutality cases and DIANE wants to drop them because “it’s worth every fucking irritation in the world!!!” to sit with the Big Six? What kind of opposite land is this where the Trump voter wants to hold the police accountable and the Hillary voter who gives no fucks is obsessed with status? (I don’t think it’s out of character for Diane to consider trading her values for status. I just think it’s weird that right now Diane is concerned with status, and also that she’s literally screaming at Julius about this.)

ALSO WHERE IS LIZ?

Lucca and Colin are in court with Judge Friend (hello!) and Colin tries to move the trial out by four months, to the week Lucca’s due in May.

OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE WRITERS, DID YOU NAME THE EPISODES AFTER REAL-TIME DATES JUST TO DRIVE ME MAD? Lucca and Colin hooked up after the Rindell case (202), but that was five months ago, even though it was the 415th day of the Trump administration and this is the 443rd day. And the 443rd day is in April, but May is four months away. Writers. If the dates aren’t going to have any bearing on the timeline of the show, maybe pick a different gimmick? Plus, it’s fucking annoying to memorize numbers.

Lucca and Colin fight in an elevator about the timing. Colin is more than a little annoyed that Lucca seems to be expecting him to ignore her pregnancy. While I agree that Lucca is expecting everyone to just ignore it, I feel like maybe if Colin wants Lucca to be more open with him, he should be supportive of her and her decisions and not incessantly propose to her (when it should be obvious to anyone who has ever met Lucca she would not want that) slash lash out against her in court.

Apparently Colin knows—or Lucca believes he does—that Maia would be the one to try the case if Lucca couldn’t. Why would Colin know that? And again, why would this fall on Maia?

Marissa hatches a plan because she believes Franz has ulterior motives. In a cafeteria, she chats with his assistant. His very chatty assistant. Turns out he wants the business of the police.

Case stuff happens. The jury is totally captivated by Television Personality Adrian Boseman, and the judge isn’t having it and tries to tell Adrian not to play to the jury. Diane objects and asks what, specifically, Adrian is doing wrong, and for the judge to rule on her objection.

“To quote a lawyer that I respected, ‘I want a ruling that I can appeal,’” Diane explains. Awwww, it’s a Will reference! (Will says this in W116, to Judge Lessner). IMO, these small, subtle references to Will are meant to show that Diane’s thinking about her former partner. And how could she not be thinking about him each time another lawyer is murdered?

Diane did not witness Will asking for a ruling he could appeal, so I imagine he must have told her the story at some point. Since there’s already a scene in W116 where Will recaps his case to Diane (he’s talking about auditioning for Bishop and groveling), it’s so easy to picture a conversation between them about this moment.

Back at Fancy Cheesecake Factory, Adrian and Diane fuck shit up by announcing that Franz is trying to land the business of the police (and that’s the only reason he invited RBL to the meetings in the first place). When the lawyers start arguing over one another, Diane and Adrian, satisfied with the mess they’ve made, leave. Hehe.

Lucca and Colin haven’t settled on a court date, so Lucca decides to tell Judge Friend that she’s pregnant and Colin’s the father. I don’t have much to say but it’s a really fun scene.

Colin shows up at Lucca’s office and explains his motivations. He didn’t want Lucca off the case: he wanted Lucca to be able to relax and not be stressed about the case! “This was for your benefit!” he says. “Oh my God. I didn’t think this could get any worse, but here we go,” Lucca responds accurately.

Colin is concerned Lucca might miscarry if she’s stressed. He asks if he can be even a little concerned, and she says that he can’t. Especially not if he’s going to express his concern that way!! Lucca also says she regrets having sex with Colin, and Colin’s all “I didn’t regret it.” Sigh. Lucca’s turned him down so many times. If there’s a way to win Lucca over—and there might not be!—this is definitely NOT it.

Anyway, Colin has info to help in the Peeper case. Which means that more case stuff happens and RBL wins.

Adrian calls Marissa (at work) to thank her for finding dirt on Franz. And to give her a 10% raise. “This is the first raise I’ve ever gotten,” she replies. “First of many, I’m sure,” he says. Aww. I like what they’re doing with Marissa and Adrian this year. It’s clear she respects him, and also clear that he’s recognizing her work when she does a good job (also clear is the fact she is doing a good job).

Adrian goes back on Cable News and finds out that J.D. (the young black man) is no longer on the panel.

On the panel, Asshole Panelist starts crying reverse racism. Adrian decides to burn all bridges with the show and its inanity, and he tries to stir shit up by getting the white panelists to say the n-word. Heh. Diane watches the clip (with a glass of wine and, likely, some drugs) at her desk and laughs.

Then she swivels around in her chair and hallucinates the Trump Mask People fucking. She laughs even harder. How many scenes of Diane laughing loudly is too many? I don’t think there could ever be too many scenes of Diane laughing.

I love Adrian not giving a fuck about what the host of the show has to say. He tells him off and then the ep ends with Adrian looking at himself in the mirror. This is a much better Adrian-centric episode than last week’s effort.

#I'M DONE WITH WRITING THIS!! FINALLY!!!#it's not even like it's a long post by my standards #The good fight #TGFThoughts

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rtmsyoo · 7 years ago

Photo

character questionnaire // sunny

tl;dr // sunny is... not all that sad but also... kinda sad... this got away from me... tw: emotional abuse tw, parental neglect tw, death tw, drugs tw, misgendering tw

BASICS

full name: sunyoung yoo ( SUN (善) - goodness; virtuous / YOUNG (英) - flower / YOO (劉) - family name without any meaning but in Hanja, it can also mean ‘to kill or destroy’ )

nicknames: sunny, artemis

age: 22 (turning 23 this year)

birthday/zodiac sign: september 5th 1994 / virgo

height: 6′1 because someone drank their milk before bed every night and did their jumps and stretches, though this may be subject to change if tiny boy bastien asks for an inch or two. can’t even begin to tell you how much of an advantage it was in all the sports she joined

tattoos/piercings: her ears are pierced but the only pair of earrings she owns are cookie monster ones and even those, she doesn’t really wear much or at all; this armband tattoo on her upper right arm with the hangul letters of her name written on the inside; this tattoo on her lower arm but the big star is replaced by a sun (the sun being apollo and because apollo he is the light of sunny’s life; the moon as sunny; julian as the planet that orbits the two and because it’s adorable like he is; the lightning bolt as morpheus cause they came into her life unexpectedly and they are just as deadly but just as beautiful to witness); this tattoo wrapping around her right wrist she both because loves animals and also in memory of her old dog brandy rip you were a good bitch; the words ‘inhale’ and ‘exhale’ tattooed on the inside of her feet because they were the instructions repeatedly told her in all of the sports she participated in and also what helped get her through her anxiety; honestly she would love to have more done but those are the only ones for now

FAVORITES

sound: wind whistling through the grass and leaves. she really feels the most peaceful when she’s lying on her back in a field, staring up at the sky; day or night, it doesn’t matter, she typically starts when the sun is still high and ends with the moon already up among the stars anyway. sunny loves being barefoot on the grass and feeling it between her toes. if she ever does get around to leaving new york, she would love for it to be somewhere with a lot of space for her to run and hide in, and lot more grass for her to press her ear close to and pretend that they’re singing a song. she also loves any sound any animal makes and will turn to putty whenever tiny puppies yip up at her

color: black, green, yellow. black is more of a personal preference, it’s almost always present in any ensemble she’s in. green relies on constancy: it’s there in her favorite places. yellow because she feels it a part of who she is: sunny, sun, brightness.

person: @apollokarlsson how you doin’? @jullybeans @metamorpheus HIT ME WITH THAT FOUND FAMILY TROPE SHOOT IT STRAIGHT INTO MY VEINS I DON’T CARE

memory: being introduced to apollo. now, she knows that she was a little too young that the details of her memory may not be exactly accurate, but her emotions during and about it are so visceral that she’s convinced there’s really no other version of what happened other than how she remembers it. there was such a beautiful glow about apollo that day, sunny could’ve sworn they were an angel, a halo hovering above their head. this was at the height of her solitude too: her mother had abandoned her, her father worked and was absent more than ever, so that may have contributed to it, but the fact that apollo was quick to take her hand, quick to be a sibling that she never really thought or imagined she would have. a part of her had worried that it was all just for show, that the moment their father and their stepmother left, apollo would switch gears and be someone intimidating - the age gap between them certainly didn’t help - but the kindness that was shown that day never faltered and that really did make life at home so much bearable for sunny. in the blink of an eye, it didn’t matter that none of her athletic accomplishments ever amount to anything for her parents - when apollo saw the trophies and the medals that littered her room, the pride in their eyes more than compensated for it and motivated her to do even better. everything felt that much easier and brighter so when apollo’s problems started catching up to them, it was also the toughest and saddest memory of hers to watch that halo dip into dimness

place: please refer to favorite sound. sunny also loves being in their apartment when both apollo and julian are there, she just loves watching the three of them exist around each other, playful and happy, as though they don’t exist in a world where they’re surrounded by so much danger and misery. if someone had told her before when they were still only dealing to julian that he would end up living with them, sunny would’ve scoffed and said ‘........... okay guy’ but now it’s like. was it ever not like this? simply imagining the alternate reality where julian never moved in and apollo was taken away, leaving her all by herself, well... it’s not fun. her room can also fit in here. it’s sparsely decorated and she also impulsively bought a privacy pop tent that she uses when she’s in a particularly bad mood and wants to - literally and figuratively - black it all out.

vice: does “running to cross the street because she saw someone walking their dog and just had to pet it” count as a vice? she drinks very limitedly to the point where it often feels like the first time again when she finally does, she doesn’t do drugs and she doesn’t smoke - her father did and it was a habit that she hated suffering through when they were together. it’s possible that she does have the vice of being in denial. sunny has the tendency to ignore her problems in favor of being more optimistic and lighthearted, and it has resulted in this slow bubbling of anger inside her that she comes to let out through her athletic pursuits: if you see her aggressively running full pelt down an oval, music blaring through her headphone and her teeth grit. and if she invites you to play soccer with her with her eyebrows furrowed, don’t say yes. if red cards are a thing during friendlies, sunny would be down for the count three times over. it’s tough for her to address the darker issues that cloud her life, opting to let them sort themselves out. when apollo left and it was just her and julian in the apartment, all the unsaid things hovered between them until julian slowly started showing signs that he was going to stand by her through that difficult time. truth be told, sunny had half thought he would want to leave, distance himself from their misfortune, but he stood by her through her ‘i don’t want to talk to anyone or do anything’ phase. when things don’t get solved on their own, sunny just believes in letting it all die down and be forgotten.

HAVE THEY EVER…

been in love: nah. the only time that she’s ever been “romantically involved” with someone was with one of her past teammates in swimming. they were the two most intense members of the team so they trained with each other the most, pushed each other in every race, and somehow, without their even planning it, naturally fell into hanging out with each other afterward, aimlessly wandering the city or catching a movie. it never was explicitly defined, though sunny knew that it was most likely because they didn’t have anyone else to be with. they carried the semblance of being close friends, even had sleepovers some nights and kissed a number of times, but after graduation, it all was still unspoken and they simply parted ways. they still text sometimes, she knows that the other went on to continue swimming, playing for university of georgia. if being in love is something that sunny is capable of or something that she allows herself to be, it may not happen anytime soon

done drugs: only weed, never to excess and very rarely. it’s the remnants of her athletic career during her school years: she’d followed the strict instructions to take care of her body to a tee, so she never really went through that adolescent phase of trying things for the first time with a group of friends, carrying that through to her life after. it was only after she left home and moved in with apollo and dionysus did she get to really be around drugs, but even then she hesitated and was only convinced because she was told it would help with her anxiety. she did terribly with smoking a blunt - she didn’t seal it properly at all and it all came undone when she tried to take a hit; after she fixed it, she then pulled on it too long and gave herself a coughing fit - so pot brownies it is! whoever thought to combine chocolate and weed should obviously be given the nobel prize

killed someone: no, though sunny does acknowledge that she’s probably (read: definitely) capable of it, and has at times felt a certain build up of rage deep within her when it comes to certain people or certain issues. she’s not naive enough to think that it’s beyond her... or anyone, she knows that everyone has that point or that topic where they can just snap, but she does like to think of herself still leaning towards the side of the Universal Good where killing is bad all the time. not that that’s stopped her from trying to learn how to hold and use a gun from morpheus, but that doesn’t instantly mean that she’s going to shoot it or that she’s going to swing a fist. self defense will always be her primary motivation when it comes to this topic... for now. (wink wink nudge nudge future hitman sunny yoo)

betrayed someone’s trust: being able to betray someone’s trust would entail that she forms a lot of connections to begin with, and sunny doesn’t really have that. all the people in her youth were merely passing - teammates, schoolmates, acquaintances - and none of them gave her their full trust to begin with, for betrayal to even be an option. of the handful of people that do reside in her life now, sunny has never once thought of going against them or turning her back on them. once they’ve made it through the difficult phase of becoming close and important to her, she latches on and becomes dangerously selfless and sacrificing for their sake.

had their heart broken: romantically, not really. sunny has never formed that kind of attachment towards someone before. in general though, yes. she can still distinctly remember the first time that she came home with a trophy in hand, still clad in her sweaty track suit and medals slung around her neck. it was easy to forget how painful it had been for her to turn to the stands, searching for their familiar faces and finding none, but in the throes of victory, sunny was quick to forget that. and she shouldn’t have, she really should have taken that as a sign and not expected more. when the three of them sat down to dinner together - one of the rare times that they did, another reason that the occasion should have been a happy one - she’d eagerly presented the trophy to her mother, who barely glanced at it before passing it on, the cogs in her mind turning to come up with a comment. her father looked at the trophy and asked her ‘was there any prize money?’ which caught her by surprise, only able to reply no after a minute of gathering herself. that’s when he told her that it wasn’t really a win if they just gave her a trophy: what good was a trophy? just something to look at, something to show, she couldn’t get anything out of it. then her mother hit her with admonishments: how it would mess up her body, make her look like a man, make her lose her appeal to potential suitors. sunny not only didn’t bother defending herself, but she also apologized and took the trophy back, keeping it by her bedside table for only her to see. in the years following, she never came to expect anything out of them anymore, and any recognition she received were stacked up in her bedroom closet.

lost someone: (tw death) the closest that sunny has come to death is through some of her schoolmates getting into a drunken accident and one of them passing away, there isn’t enough numbers in her family for her to really be able to lose someone with a sense of finality. perhaps the only person that she’s ever really lost - though she doesn’t know if it’s permanently, the woman does have the tendency to flit in and out of people’s lives and steal parts of it with her bUT WHO’S BITTER NOT SUNNY - is her mother, and that isn’t even something that she mourns about (or maybe she’s sad about it but, if you refer to her vice, she’s deeply in denial about it too). for her to lose that relationship means that there was even one to begin with, and though it’s something of a feat for her to think that her mother decided to keep her after her father got her pregnant, that doesn’t really mean that much of anything came afterward, that was the extent of her mother’s maternal instincts. if she goes by gut instinct, sunny is convinced that after her mother ditched a while back without a word of goodbye, she’s likely out of the state or maybe even out of the country, but that doesn’t stop her from worrying that the two of them might cross paths one of these days, especially when she’s near and around the hospital where her mother worked. she could go in and inquire, know for sure, but there’s not really much of a motivation in there for her since she doesn’t see any benefit in knowing. there’s also, of course, apollo, but that’s not really a loss so much as a temporary absence. sunny always knew they’d come back, she just wished that the sweetness of being reunited wasn’t soured by the fact that apollo left at all when they promised they never would.

DO THEY…

have any pets: she adopted a rescue dog when she was eight years old - an eight month old golden retriever she named brandy because ‘brandy you’re a fine girl’ was stuck in her head that week after hearing her father singing to it - under very sketchy circumstances involving forged signatures, saved up allowances and intense guilt tripping after the attendant mistook her for a little boy and she hammed up being offended by it. they were together for twelve years, the dog serving as her closest companion when she still lived with her parents. brandy has since been gone due to old age (if you say to or around her that brandy died, you will get punched on the arm so hard) for a few months over two years now and though sunny would love nothing more than to have another one soon, she’s still recovering from the loss. also has a pet turtle named tommy and a hamster named hal. she likes to make them race sometimes and forces them to hang out with each other. hal doesn’t like it but tommy doesn’t seem to mind. she doesn’t believe in the idea of ‘pet names’ because it makes her feel like she’s separating herself from her pets when she truly views them as family. it’s a pet peeve, pun intended... get it? pet peeve? it’s funny, i’m brilliant, donate money to my paypal

have a family they still talk to: does apollo count? this is mostly a no, and it’s largely because of her own volition. her mother disappeared on her years ago and though sunny knows where she works (worked? in case she’s transferred hospitals since then) and could very easily track her down, it’s not something that she’s ever felt up to doing - leaving home when she did was one of the most freeing experiences she has ever had, and to reacquaint herself with a woman who made her feel more and more suffocated with each passing year feels like a huge step backward that she doesn’t really need or want to take. there are no more hard feelings within her, sure, but it doesn’t mean that forging a relationship is on her to-do list. her father, on the other hand, does still reach out to her, trying to start small talk only to be cut off by her because, oddly enough, it’s with him that she does still harbor some resentment towards. their relationship was only a step above the one with her mother, but it was still something better, yet when she left, he didn’t seem to have made much of an effort to get her back and that stung. he tries to engage her about the most banal shit like the weather or news, tries to tell her what he’s doing and how his day was, but sunny has no time for it: if he’s not going to address the big issue between them, there’s no point in letting him back into her life.

have a best friend: just one??? what kind of weak person... without a doubt, apollo is the one who knows her best, perhaps even knows her better than she knows herself, which is a cliche that she doesn’t want to subscribe to but has to because it just fits. when it comes to her sibling, it’s impossible for sunny to hold their decisions against them, even though time and time again they’ve hurt. and it’s not that it hurts her but that it hurts apollo, and the most that she can do is voice her concern softly, be careful not to seem demanding or controlling, but she can’t make apollo’s choices for them. sometimes she doesn’t know if it’s a good or bad thing that she seems to be able to forgive her sibling anything, but the one thing she does know for uncertain is that her heart holds a love for the other deeper than she ever thought herself capable of feeling, and it scares her sometimes, especially right now when she can’t determine if their relationship can weather the storm it’s currently under. other than apollo, julian is a close second, someone who got to see her be weak and didn’t push. to be honest, when they initially met, sunny didn’t know what to think of the guy: he seemed as much bad news as apollo used to be, but he was funny, he didn’t overstep, and he cared in his own little way. after apollo left and it was just the two of them in the apartment, sunny was more withdrawn than ever but julian never gave up on her and she genuinely thinks, in some way, he really did save her. and then there’s morpheis. HOO BOY WHAT TO SAY. they just.. jumped at her, completely unexpected, and quickly stole a part of her heart. were they initially tasked to kill her if she messed up? sure, but now that’s just a funny story they can tell people who ask them how the hell the two of them met... and a lot of people do seem to want to, considering how odd a pair they make. between sunny’s piercing glare and morpheus’ intimidating stature though, nobody really tries to, but that makes it all the more better. the two of them exist in this bubble, this world, where somehow it’s easier to be vulnerable, something that sunny doesn’t really want to be anymore. though it’s clear to her that they suffered through so much more than she has (and probably ever will, though if she could, it would be great to have the ability to wipe away the grief from their face), for some reason she can’t grasp, their soul feels kindred to hers. she loves apollo and julian, but her relationship with morpheus is something that’s a little more open, a little more honest, and a little more liable to break her should it ever turn against her.

want to get married and/or have kids: so far, what sunny has seen of marriage isn’t really all that pretty, but she always knew that her parents’ arrangement was more of the exception than the rule. marriage is... daunting. she doesn’t really see it as something that she necessarily has to do, and if there comes a time that she does find someone that she feels she can spend the rest of her life with, then she simply would, wedding or no. if they ask her to tie the knot, then she would, but not for any want of hers. kids? they’re... nice. they’re a nice concept. she really feels like she’s too young to think about this right now, she doesn’t even think so much about getting into a relationship, let alone sleeping with someone for another someone to form inside her. though she does think that she’s the kind of person to prefer adoption over having kids of her own: it isn’t really an equal comparison, but she loves her pets as though they were her own children, and they’re all rescue. she knows the feeling of being unwanted, of being an impulse decision eventually regretted, and kids? who feel that same thing, only worse because they were actually abandoned by their parents? if she could help with that, she would. sunny has a fondness for babies more than she does for little kids, but she does love the way that their minds work and would, if it’s possible, rather be in conversation with them than most adults since they can be so banal and double edged

want to leave: leave new olympus? she’d be lying if she said that she hasn’t considered it, and really, when she signed up to be a part of it, sunny always thought that it would be something temporary and that one of these days, she’ll just drop off of it. syrus knew just what to say, just how to challenge her to get her in of her own volition, but two years later, she still stands with them and holds such a soft spot for a lot of the other members. she’d thought they would be dismissive of her, that her young age would be considered a strike against her, but after that first hurdle of proving herself, they have been nothing if not supportive, with some even offering to teach her a thing or two. sure, they’re not trying to teach her the best things, but it’s a nice gesture at its core nevertheless. with apollo holding no alliance, sunny knows that her own is tied to that: if apollo asks her to leave, she would honestly consider it, but only on the condition that if she leaves, they leave this world for good, because that makes it easier for her to sleep at night, knowing that they’re separate from a world that could be so tempting to apollo’s demons. if she leaves, they go the straight and narrow. but these people have become family to her, the thought of leaving morpheus all by himself, not having their late night conversations where she pulls him back from the edge or indulges his drunken ramblings... there’s also syrus making some offers of help and, if she was being really honest with herself, sunny has become attached to these people, much more than she knows or realizes.

THIS OR THAT?

phone call or text: text, definitely. there’s something very satisfying for sunny to just not have to think of what to say and what tone to say it with, not to mention that she’s not entirely the best at maintaining a conversation too. at least when it comes to text, she has the option of being an accidental ignorer... you know, the kind of person who leaves you on read and then comes back two days later with ‘sorry for the late reply, i had a dentist appointment’? she annoyingly does that, but has also reached the point where she doesn’t even come up with excuses anymore and just straight up says she didn’t feel like replying. she’s also a very liberal user of emojis as a way to end a conversation or to respond to a conversation that she doesn’t really want prolonged and will be That Person who texts ‘... ok’ to annoy someone. only the people closest to her bother to call her and only to them does she hold long (or at least longer than she’d usually care for) conversations with over the phone. she’s not the best talker, but she makes sure to breathe unto the receiver so they can sense that she’s there at least, and that she’s listening and commiserating. sometimes it’s really all she can do

wealth or loyalty: loyalty. somewhat ironically suits her home life really, her father was wealthy but horribly disloyal, and it painted this picture for her of what wealth does to people: it makes them complacent, it makes them arrogant, it makes them dismissive, and none of these are traits that sunny want with the people she associates with or with herself. she’s never been someone who’s materialistic anyhow, minimalist almost to a fault, and what they do have now is enough for her. true, when she first left home, there was a slight shock in how different life was on the other side of the veil, but it lasted only a second because it was the people that she left home for anyway: for apollo, for julian, for the little home life that they’d built together as a ragtag group, quasi-family full of misfits and degenerates.

love or lust: love. that isn’t to say that she’s a bleeding heart romantic or has ever felt something akin to that level of attachment for someone before, but sunny knows that lust isn’t something that she necessarily feels intensely, she’s never felt that very primal need to be with someone in that way nor does she gauge people based on how much she’d like to be with them or not. how can she prefer something that she isn’t even sure she can feel? that’s not to say that she hasn’t entertained the notion or that she isn’t aware of how powerful an act it can be, especially for those who do it well, but she does somewhat still subscribe to the idea that it’s something that’s reserved for intimate relationships, which is why she’s still a virgin and not really chomping at the bit to change that

5 friends or 100 acquaintances: five friends. because she’s already filled up three of the slots, so that’s convenient, lol. she’s relatively private, and the idea of a hundred or so people knowing who she is, knowing just enough about her to cross the line from stranger to acquaintances, leaves a bad taste in her mouth. she likens herself to a gust of wind in how fleeting she is: after the necessary moment of interaction, if she doesn’t really want a connection to go further, she just ends it, so friendships are long, hard work for her, which justifies how she can allow them to know about her, to be close to her.

summer or winter: no preference, really. she loves getting to wear her tank tops or going jogging and hiking during the summer just as much as she loves burrowing under the covers or wearing her puffy coats and pretending she’s a penguin during the winter. she understands that a lot of people don’t really like the sweltering heat because of how much it makes them sweat, but her past athletic career mostly entailed that, it’s something that she’s taken in her stride. and who doesn’t love the way that snow makes it possible for you to fuck up and slip on the ground but not crack your head open on the sidewalk because there’s a pile of snow there? its not really such a polarizing topic for her and one that she barely pays attention to; it doesn’t really matter whether she likes one more than the other, they’re both still going to keep coming back, might as well make the most of both

OTHERS:

wanted plots/connections: will come up with one soon maybe or just plot with everyone idk

#olympustalk #are we supposed to put it in that tag idk what the tag is if it's not that someone lmk #about.#this got so stupidly long and maybe a little (a lot) repetitive #and if there are things or people mentioned that would rather they weren't or that it contradicts with some of their stuff #pls do lmk and i will gladly take it out or change it ok #added all the possible tw i could think of just to be safe

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