#when you're telling a story everyone (usually) knows it isn't true

[aparticularbandit]

I think the difference between a lie and a story is that a story utilizes the trappings and appearance of truth for the interest of the listener as well as of the teller. A story has in it neither gain nor loss. But a lie is a device for profit or escape. I suppose if that definition is strictly held to, then a writer of stories is a liar - if he is financially fortunate.

-John Steinbeck, East of Eden

[supersoakerfullofblood]

Point of View: the Biggest Thing You're Missing!

Point of view is one of the most important elements of narrative fiction, especially in our modern writing climate, but you rarely hear it seriously discussed unless you go to school for writing; rarely do help blogs or channels hit on it, and when they do, it's never as in-depth as it should be. This is my intro to POV: what you're probably missing out on right now and why it matters. There are three essential parts of POV that we'll discuss.

Person: This is the easiest part to understand and the part you probably know already. You can write in first person (I/me), second (You), and third person (He/she/they). You might hear people talk about how first person brings the reader closer to the central character, and third person keeps them further away, but this isn't true (and will be talked about in the third part of this post!) You can keep the reader at an intimate or alien distance to a character regardless of which person you write in. The only difference--and this is arguable--is that first person necessitates this intimacy where third person doesn't, but you still can create this intimacy in third person just as easily. In general, third person was the dominant (and really the only) tense until the late 19th century, and first person grew in popularity with the advent of modernism, and nowadays, many children's/YA/NA books are written in first person (though this of course doesn't mean you can't or shouldn't write those genres in the third person). Second person is the bastard child. Don't touch it, even if you think you're clever, for anything the length of a novel. Shorter experimental pieces can use it well, but for anything long, its sounds more like a gimmick than a genuine stylistic choice.

Viewpoint Character: This is a simple idea that's difficult in practice. Ask yourself who is telling your story. This is typically the main character, but it needn't be. Books like The Book Thief, The Great Gatsby, Rebecca, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, and the Sherlock series are told from the perspective of a side character who isn't of chief importance to the narrative. Your viewpoint character is this side character, the character the reader is seeing the world through, so the main character has to be described through them. This isn't a super popular narrative choice because authors usually like to write from the perspective of their most interesting character, but if you think this choice could fit your story, go for it! You can also swap viewpoint characters throughout a story! A word of warning on that: only change your viewpoint character during a scene/chapter break. Switching mid-scene without alerting the reader (and even when you do alert the reader) will cause confusion. I guarantee it.

Means of Perception; or, the Camera: This part ties the first two together. If you've ever heard people talk about an omniscient, limited, etc. narrator, this is what they mean. This part also includes the level of intimacy the reader has with the viewpoint character: are we in their heads, reading their thoughts, or are we so far away that we can only see their actions? If your story is in a limited means of perception, you only have access to your character's head, eyes, and interpretations, where an omniscient narrator sees through all characters' heads at once. (This doesn't eliminate the viewpoint character--most of your writing will still be in that character's head, but you're allowed to reach into other characters' thoughts when needed. You could also be Virginia Woolf, who does fluidly move through everyone's perspectives without a solid viewpoint character, but I would advise against this unless you really are a master of the craft.) Older novels skew towards third person omniscient narration, where contemporary novels skew towards first person limited. You also have a spectrum of "distant" and "close." If omniscient and limited are a spectrum of where the camera can swivel to, distant and close is a spectrum of how much the camera can zoom in and out. Distant only has access to the physical realities of the world and can come off as cold, and close accesses your character's (or characters', if omniscient) thoughts. Notice how I said narration. Your means of perception dramatically effects how your story can be told! Here's a scene from one of my stories rewritten in third-person distant omniscient. The scene is a high school football game:

“Sometimes,” he said. “Not much anymore.” “It’s not better, then?” She shivered; the wind blew in. “A little.” His tone lifted. “I don’t know if it’ll ever be better, though.” She placed a hand on his arm, stuttered there, and slipped her arm around his waist. “Did it help to be on your own?” He raised an eyebrow. “You were there.” “Yes and no.” “And the guys, the leaders.” “Come on,” she heckled. “Okay, okay.” Carmen sighed. “Yeah, it helped. I don’t think—I don’t know—I’d be me if they’d fixed it all.” She grinned. “And who might you be?” “Oh, you know. Scared, lonely.” He fired them haphazardly, and a bout of laughter possessed him which Piper mirrored. “Impatient.” “And that’s a good thing?” “No.” He sat straight. “Gosh, no. But I don’t want to be like him, either.” He pointed to the field; Devon recovered a fumbled ball. “He’s never been hurt in his life.” She met his eyes, which he pulled away. “You don’t mean that," Piper said. “Maybe not. He’s too confident, though.” The cloth of Carmen's uniform caved and expanded under Piper's fingers.

With distant-omniscient, we only get the bare actions of the scene: the wind blows in, Piper shivers, the cloth rises and falls, Carmen points, etc. But you can tell there's some emotional and romantic tension in the scene, so let's highlight that with a first person limited close POV:

“Sometimes,” he said. “Not much anymore.” “It’s not better, then?” Frost spread up from her legs and filled her as if she were perforated rock, froze and expanded against herself so that any motion would disturb a world far greater than her, would drop needles through the mind’s fabric. A misplaced word would shatter her, shatter him. “A little.” His tone lifted. “I don’t know if it’ll ever be better, though.” She placed a hand on his arm, thought better, and slipped her arm around his waist. “Did it help to be on your own?” He raised an eyebrow. “You were there.” “Yes and no.” “And the guys, the leaders.” “Come on,” she heckled. “Okay, okay.” Carmen sighed. “Yeah, it helped. I don’t think—I don’t know—I’d be me if they’d fixed it all.” She grinned. “And who might you be?” “Oh, you know. Scared, lonely.” He fired them haphazardly, and a bout of laughter possessed him which Piper mirrored. “Impatient.” “And that’s a good thing?” “No.” He sat straight. “Gosh, no. But I don’t want to be like him, either.” He pointed to the field; Devon recovered a fumbled ball. “He’s never been hurt in his life.” “You don’t mean that.” She spoke like a jaded mother, spoke with some level of implied authority, and reminded herself again to stop. “Maybe not. He’s too confident, though.” Piper felt the cloth of his waist cave and expand under her fingers and thought: is this not confidence?

Here, we get into Piper's thoughts and physical sensations: how the frost rises up her, and how this sensation of cold is really her body expressing her nervous fears; how she "thought better" and put her arm around his waist; her thought "is this not confidence?"; and how she reminds herself not to talk like a mother. Since I was writing from the close, limited perspective of a nervous high schooler, I wrote like one. If I was writing from the same perspective but with a child or an older person, I would write like them. If you're writing from those perspectives in distant narration, however, you don't need to write with those tones but with the authorial tone of "the narrator."

This is a lot of info, so let's synthesize this into easy bullet points to remember.

Limited vs. Omniscient. Are you stuck to one character's perspective per scene or many?

Close vs. Distant. Can you read your characters' thoughts or only their external worlds? Remember: if you can read your character's thoughts, you also need to write like you are that character experiencing the story. If child, write like child; if teen, write like teen; etc.

Here's another way to look at it!

This is a confusing and complex topics, so if you have any questions, hit up my ask box, and I'll answer as best I can. The long and short of it is to understand which POV you're writing from and to ruthlessly stick to it. If you're writing in limited close, under no circumstances should you describe how a character other than your viewpoint character is feeling. Maintaining a solid POV is necessary to keeping the dream in the reader's head. Don't make them stumble by tripping up on POV!

[unluckiestmember]

Makima x Innocent! Reader

Characters: Makima, Kishibe (Mentioned)

Tags: Fluff, Developing/Established Relationship, Soft! Makima, dogs, worrying, Kishibe being Kishibe, denial of feelings and misunderstandings.

Warnings: Spoiler Warning for the International Assassins Arc and the Gun Devil Arc. SFW.

A/N: Soft Makima = Best Makima?

SFW

Makima is a controller. For her it is either her way or no way. And if you dare to defy her, she will be the last thing you ever see. 

She treats everyone like they are her dogs, toys and pawns in a larger game to win…

But not you. No, she treats you like an angel.

After missions and days at work, she will take you out to relax. No ifs ands or buts.

Gives you the best massages.

Isn't a fan of PDA. But if she feels threatened, she will grab you and show everyone who you belong to.

She won't force anything onto you unless important. She knows how timid you can be when making decisions.

She has no problem explaining to you her missions and tactics, though she will sugar coat some moments for your "safety".

Her dogs love you. They literally run in your direction when you go to Makima's home and just jump on you.

Yes, Makima is a little jealous of it.

Watches any movie you want to watch, good or bad.

If it's a horror movie, she'll hold your hand the entire time. And if there's a jumpscare, she'll hold you when you jump.

Loves when you get easily flustered but wont show it.

She'll literally stare at you with a small smile and quietly be in delight at your timid state.

Will ask about your day, which is something she doesn't do for ANYONE.

If you want a sleepover, Makima will do the whole nine yards. Endless snacks, a batch of good movies, bad movies and a bunch of blankets.

She only has ONE rule; Don't speak of what you two do outside of work to coworkers. You're her little secret. No one can have you but her. Not to mention she has a reputation to keep.

Will ask Kishibe, yes, Kishibe of all people, advice on how to care more and be better for you.

Will also ask how to tread lightly around you as to not scare you away. But will never admit it or say it out loud.

Say her eyes are beautiful or pretty. She'll melt just laugh and call you cute. Maybe even kiss you on the cheek.

In-Story (Spoilers Ahead)

When Makima fell for you, she thought she was sick.

So sick that she took a few days off of work to wonder what was happening to her.

She asked her higher ups and even Kishibe what was wrong in subtle ways.

They all concluded; she wasn't sick. She was in love.

But she didn't want to be. No, she wanted to just focus on Chainsaw Man and Denji! You were ruining her plans! You had to go.

So why couldn't she kill you?

She just couldn't kill you…

Though she continued to think her attraction to you was unnatural, she soon asked you out.

Say yes. Makima doesn't show it, but she wants you to accept her confession.

Though your relationship is not displayed around your co-workers, they know something is going on between you two.

They all think the same thing; "Good for her." "I'm happy for them." "She's dating someone? I thought she was just a scary emotionless woman!" "Lucky!"

Makima doesn't worry about anything.

So she's surprised she worries about you so much.

After your encounter with the Darkness Devil in hell, Makima was her usual quiet and mysterious self.

But Kishibe informs you she was worried sick when she found you.

And don't even get him started on how she was during the return of the Gun Devil.

She tries her best not to tell you her true motives with Denji, but if you give her puppy eyes she'll spill.

Please support her. The last thing she wants to do is kill her precious angel.

When you noticed her being extra friendly to Denji and Aki, your cute little head started to worry she would leave you for them.

She'll assure you in a sweet whisper that she only belongs to you.

Be on the look out for a jealous Denji...

"I'll admit. My motives will be seen as evil. But it is a necessary evil. I hope you understand... You have to understand. I know I can accomplish my mission, but it might be near impossible without you... Oh, I wasn't saying I-... Haha. Yes. I love you too."

Makima is a devil. A control devil. And could destroy the whole world.

But maybe. Just maybe. She'd sacrifice it all if it was for you…

Chainsaw Man requests are currently open! :D

Likes and retweets are always appreciated! I love you all, be safe and have a good day! <3

[shadowskulls-blog]

Carmilla Carmine x (gn or fem, doesnt matter) reader smut. Reader is vaggie's height. The two are already dating and one day, reader is being a bit of a brat, so carmilla pins them to the wall with her legs because why bend down when she can just do the splits against a wall and hold someone in place like that. However, it just makes readers brattiness go up and they kiss her thigh, long story short they eat her out while she's doing the splits standing uptight-

Only if you wanna write this, of course. But I think it's a funny and silly idea

Ohhhhhh. Yes... but yeah. It's gonna be a GN, so, yeah. I haven't written a lot of brat stuff, but I hope this is a good first try. I usually do smug, but hey, I will do the best I can. But my guess is they're like Velvett

*smut*

Carmilla Carmine x GN reader

"Carmilla, come on! Can you just tell me the reason why you wanted to keep this stuff secret!?" You ask loudly as you couldn't understand why keeping something as angels can be killed a secret! We could finally win against those angels and she wants to keep it in the dark!?

Carmilla sighed as she pinched her nose. You walked behind her until you both entered your shared room. With you closing the door behind you.

"I will not let this news get out and possibly put everyone into war." Carmilla said as she turned around, looking down at you. Seeing as you were still pissed.

"Isn't that what you sell guns for? I get it ain't war, war, but. It's fights and everything. You have guns that can kill demon royalty for Satan's sake! That's war, ain't it?!" You shouted at Carmilla, walking up as you kicked a stoll out from the vanity, then kicked it in front of you. walking on top of it to be at a sum what eye level with her.

"While angels, the monsters that could have killed you or our daughters! You didn't want the fact that their own weapons could kill them. For fucks sake. I would have told people!" You said as Carmilla glared down at you for a moment but walked away as you followed her until she was facing the wall with a portrait of her and her daughters. She noticed how you said "our daughters"

"Then what would happen? We all go into war. A massive war, if that happens, do you have any idea how many we could lose? We could lose over lords. People we love. I could lose my daughter's and you along with it! We both know how fights go, I will not have war come down and kill every last one of us!" Carmilla explained as she turned around and looked down at you. She will not have this be brought down and have people killed, and during extermination. anyone could be killed!

She will lot let her friends, daughters, or you die because of something she did that brought war up. She holds everyone she loves dear to her. If she lost you or her daughters, it would mean the end of the world for her

"But with the weapons that can kill them, we have a chance! By my logic, it seems like you want people to die -" you shouted back, but Carmilla had finally had enough of you, kicking you against the wall and slamming her leg up above you. You groaned a bit as you looked up at Carmilla, the shadows making her red eyes glow as she stared down at you

"You know that isn't true. You have known me for years, and you know I'm not that type of person. If anyone should know that it's you! And I will not let war be brought down on us. If you're too dense to understand that..." Carmilla said as you breathed heavy, you moved your left hand up to gently crease her thigh. Feeling the angelic steel along with her clothing

Carmilla stopped talking as she looked down at you, wondering what you were doing. You laughed a bit as you looked back up at her, leaning your head a bit to the side

"I get it. But...didn't think I fired you up enough to pin me with your legs..." you said with a smirk as you leaned your head against her inner thigh, giving it a kiss as you smiled against her clothing.

Carmilla's eyes widened slightly as she couldn't understand this sudden change. One minute ago, you two were fighting now. You're getting turned on by being pinned to the wall by her leg...

"If anything, I can tell this is bringing stress on you," you said as your hand slid up going from the her thigh to her pussy. Your sharp nails set on her clothing, ready to tare it off as you looked up at her with a smirk

"What are you doing?" Carmilla asked as she looked down at you in confusion with her blushing a bit. Your fingers rubbed against her clothed pussy as you continued to smirk up at her

"I'm just saying. You've been stressed out, and...your teasing me by putting your legs in my face." You said as you dug your nails into her clothing, taring away the clothes that covered her pussy.

Carmilla groaned as she felt the warm air hit her now unclothed pussy, as you dropped the fabric to the ground. You chuckled a bit as you saw she was a bit wet.

"See. You like this as much as me..." you chuckled as your fingers went to go crease her wet flaps gently, your fingers getting wet by the touch as you heard Carmilla moan by your touch. Her leg tensed up against your body as she relaxed again.

You smirked wider as you shoved your ring and middle finger into Carmilla, her moans getting louder as her hand went on the wall for support. her fingertips gripped onto the wall. You noticed that. You were always amazed at how she could even stand in those shoes in the first place but...

"I'm gonna make sure you lose your balance in those shoes," you said as you connected your mouth to Carmilla's pussy, your fingers still inside of her as you moved your fingers inside of her. Your tongue hitting against her clit slowly

Moans filled the room as Carmilla's free hand dug into the leg that was supporting her up, her moans and groans getting louder as she felt your tongue run across her clit as your fingers rubbed inside of her.

"I don't get... how you could go from a brat...to this, " Carmilla said, stopping so she didn't moan out loud. You smiled as you opened your mouth, licking your lips as you looked up at her. Seeing her glowing red eyes and flushed face as sweat started to form around her face.

"Like I said. Tease me with your legs, I'll take it.." you said with a smirk as you went back to eating out Carmilla, your tongue hitting her clit faster as you twisted your fingers around, spreading them every two seconds as Carmilla's moaned became louder a more rough. Making her leg push more against you

You moaned into her as your fingers began pumping in and out of her. Your tongue pushing into her wet folds as you sucked and kissed, tasting her bit of her as your fingers kept pumping in and out, pushing further up each time.

Until you pumped in again, hearing Carmilla moan out louder and her back arch as her nails clawed into the wall.

"Damnit!... right there!" Carmilla moaned out as her hands kept clawing at the wall, her back arching as you kept going. Your fingers worked around her spot as you moaned into her. Your fingers then pushed down into her as that was enough to make her reach her limit

Carmilla then used her free hand to put on your back, making sure you wouldn't pull away. her fingers clawing into your back as she yelled out in pleasure, her climax hitting her as she came around your fingers with your tongue being coated in her cum.

Carmilla breathed out in moans as she pushed her right hand into the wall making sure not to lose her balance as she opened her eyes to look down at you. Seeing you pull away as you breathed heavy with a groan escaping your lips as your back muscles tensed, feeling Carmilla's claws in your back

Carmilla pulled her hand away gently as your blood was on her fingers. You gasped as you felt her claws leave. You licked your lips as you chuckled a bit as Carmilla tried to stand without shaking.

"I got you tall, Mama." You said as you put your hands on her hips, giving her support as you walked her to the bed. Setting her down as she breathed heavy. Taking a minute to catch her breath as she looked at you with an annoyed glare.

"Sometimes you annoy me," Carmilla said with a groan as she looked down at you. You only smiled as you chuckled a bit

"But you love me~" you said as you smiled, walking up to Carmilla and smiling. Carmilla sighed but smiled as. It was true.

**

Well, since it's valentines Day. Happy valentines Day special.

[xomakara]

Elevator

(re-posting from my old account seulrinnie-rinrin/xomakara-secondary)

SUMMARY | You and Wooyoung are stuck in the elevator with nothing to do but talk. But when you are awfully aware of how close he is, you can’t help but act on your urges.

PAIRING | Wooyoung/Reader

GENRE | non-idol!Wooyoung, smut with no plot, unprotected sex (wrap it up everyone!), fingering, oral, vaginal sex, elevator sex

RATING | Mature

LENGTH | 2593 words

AUTHOR’S NOTE | On the shorter side but still smutty~

"Nononono. This can't be happening." You ran a hand through your hair, sliding down the walls of the elevator as it stopped moving. The lights were out and you could barely make out the figure of the man who stood next to you.

Of all days to get a power outage!

"Freaking out like that isn't going to make things better." The man muttered, his voice low and calm. "Breathe deep. Count to ten. Do something productive. Shit. I forgot what to do when things go bad."

He added, not sounding at all sincere.

You didn't need him to tell you to breathe; you'd been doing so since the lights went out in the first place. Your heart was pounding and the sweat on your palms made them slippery. The whole situation was just freaking bizarre and the adrenaline pumping through your body wasn't helping either.

You knew you had a bad feeling when you woke up this morning as you struggled to get out of bed. All your work clothes were in the laundry hamper, a lightbulb went out in your bathroom while you showered, you ran out of coffee and there was nothing left to eat for breakfast besides half an apple that had turned brown overnight.

On top of all that, the bathroom mirror showed that the faint lines around your eyes were more pronounced than usual.

And now you're stuck in the company's elevator with that very attractive employee in your department, one who is probably pissed off that he can't find anything to do while trapped here too.

"I knew I should have called in today." You muttered, burying your face in your hands. "This day couldn't possibly get any worse."

"How worse could it be?" The man asked, looking slightly annoyed but also amused by the sight of you bawling your eyes out on the elevator floor. He took a few steps forward before stopping again, taking another deep breath. "It's just a power outage after all. It happens every now and then."

"True enough." You agreed, raising your head to look up at him. "I just can't believe I'm stuck here with you."

"What's wrong with being stuck in an elevator with me?" He laughed.

"Not funny, Wooyoung." You frowned. "God, I can already hear all the other ladies in our department talking shit about me. Why do I always get myself into these situations? Like I haven't got enough problems as it is."

"I mean there's one way we can deter the shit talking." He smirked, gesturing at himself suggestively.

You groaned and shook your head. You really needed to get out of here soon or else your colleague was going to try to make a move on you and then you'll be really fucked. Not that you weren't interested in the idea, but you've heard some horror stories from friends who hooked up with co-workers and most of them ended badly.

You glanced around nervously, wondering how long the power outage would last and how long you'd be stuck in this elevator. You wondered if they'd think of any contingency plan if they realized how much time had passed since the lights went out. Maybe they'd sent maintenance to fix it? Hopefully someone will come soon.

"What are you thinking about, Y/N?" Wooyoung asked, sinking to the floor next to you. His legs crossed and his arms resting casually on his knees. "Having second thoughts about making a move on me?"

"I am not trying to make a move on you, no matter how attractive you may be." You mumbled. "Are you really sure you want to know what I'm thinking?"

"I have been told I have good hearing." He grinned, nudging you playfully with his shoulder. "Go ahead and tell me. Whatever it is, I won't judge you."

"Just being in this elevator is making my anxiety go up the wazoo." You sighed, sitting back against the wall.

"That's why I'm trying to distract you." He said with a shrug. "So, you really want to tell me what's bothering you?"

"I've just had such a bad day." You sighed. "I struggled to get out of bed this morning. All my work clothes were in the hamper, the light bulbs went out during my shower, I didn't have any breakfast except for a stupid apple that turned brown and I ran out of coffee this morning. Everything seemed to conspire against me this morning and..."

You took a deep breath and stared down at your feet, knowing that if you looked at him, you might let yourself get carried away. Wooyoung squeezed your hands gently.

"This kind of thing doesn't happen to me. I've always got my shit together, but today, everything seems to fall apart. One after the other." You muttered.

"Y/N, don't feel embarrassed about having bad days. Everyone has them." He murmured. "Sometimes life can be cruel and unjust, leaving us to struggle with burdens we never thought we could carry alone. It happens to the best of us."

"Maybe." You sighed. "But sometimes you wish that sometimes those bad days wouldn't happen at all."

"Well, we can't always get what we want, right?" He smiled gently. "But if we accept reality as it is, rather than as we wish it to be, perhaps we'll feel better and cope better with whatever life throws at us."

"Who are you and what have you done to the cocky Wooyoung I work with?" You let out an amused sigh. "Is it possible to see two sides of a person at once? Because I definitely saw a different side of you today. Thank you for being nice to me."

"Oh come on, it's nothing special." He waved his hand dismissively. "But I'd like a kiss as payment for comforting you. That's if...you want to."

You looked at him, eyes taking in his handsome face. His messy hair, slightly tousled from always running his hands through them. Those eyes that made you weak in the knees. The lips that were dangerously close to yours.

"Do you want to kiss me?" He asked quietly, tilting his head to the side.

There was a moment where neither of you moved, staring deeply into each other's eyes until finally Wooyoung leaned closer and pressed his lips against yours softly.

The soft kiss surprised you, making you pull away slightly. But Wooyoung didn't seem fazed by it and instead he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer. You returned the kiss, brushing your lips against his before pressing your mouth more firmly against his.

Your lips parted slightly as he continued to press kisses to your lips, opening wider as his tongue slid along the seam of your mouth, exploring every corner until finally parting to allow him entrance. He tasted faintly of coffee, which made you wonder if he drank a cup before he came down here, but his taste was still pleasantly sweet.

"You know I could care less about what our coworkers would say about us." He muttered against your lips. "I only have eyes for you."

His words, along with his closeness and the scent of his cologne filled your senses and slowly your breathing became deeper, almost as though your lungs were expanding and pushing the air inside even further. The electricity flowing between you caused goosebumps to rise on your skin, spreading all over your body as his hands tightened their grip around your waist.

As much as you wanted to deny it, his lips and his touch were sending sparks of pleasure shooting across your skin and a warm sensation rushed to your core.

"Wooyoung..." You moaned, closing your eyes tightly. You felt his lips graze your jawline, before moving lower to nip at your earlobe. A shiver ran down your spine and your knees began to weaken, causing you to lean back against the wall behind you.

"Y/N..." He whispered, nibbling at your neck before he began to suckle your earlobe. "Do you want me to stop?"

The question caught you completely off guard and you opened your eyes to stare into his. In the dim lighting of the elevator, your pupils were drawn into his dark eyes, which seemed to have gone darker, taking on a darker shade.

"No." You breathed, leaning in to press your lips against his.

And Wooyoung seemed equally affected by your kiss. Before you could blink, his hands reached up and grabbed the sides of your face, pulling you towards him so that your lips met once more.

With every kiss, the intensity grew and soon you were lost in the sensations coursing through your body. When he pulled away slightly to give you a chance to catch your breath, your breath hitched and you licked your lips before reaching up to run your fingers through his hair.

The man in front of you was no longer the Wooyoung you usually worked with. Instead, he looked like a man who knows exactly what he wants and won't hesitate to take it.

"Don't stop." You breathed out, Wooyoung lifted you in his arms. His face darkened with desire and his breath came out in shallow pants as he gazed down at you with hunger in his eyes. "Please..."

He dropped to his knees, lifting your skirt and tugging your panties aside, revealing your pussy. It was slick with excitement and arousal and you felt your breath quicken. The sight of your cunt getting wetter was arousing and thrilling, as he looked up at you expectantly.

Before you could stop him, he slipped two fingers inside your pussy and began to stroke you, bringing out small whimpers of pleasure. He continued to slide his fingers in and out of you, fucking you with such skill and control.

Your legs began to shake uncontrollably, feeling weak from the pleasure he brought you and you sank back against the wall, needing something to hold onto. He didn't need to be told twice and quickly placed his hand under your knee, bringing it to rest on his shoulder, his face now buried between your thighs.

You let out a gasp when his tongue began to lap at your clit, teasing it and making it throb with pleasure. You closed your eyes and tilted your hips upwards, allowing him better access to your center. Your hips bucked erratically, driving his tongue faster, while his fingers kept pumping in and out of you.

He hummed and thrust his tongue harder against your clit, causing you to moan loudly. You started panting heavily, sucking in your bottom lip as he began to finger fuck you in earnest, fastening his pace. There was no mistaking it anymore. He was totally focused on pleasuring you, intent on giving you mind blowing orgasms.

The combination of the electric shocks from his fingers in conjunction with the vibrations from his tongue was too much to bear. Soon your hips began to buck violently, moaning and whimpering, driven mad by the pleasure that overwhelmed you.

"Fuck!"

It was unlike anything you ever experienced before. As you screamed his name, letting go of all control, all you could do was keep your orgasm coming, flooding his mouth with your juices until your body relaxed against the wall and he withdrew his tongue, licking the last traces of your cum from his lips.

"Holy fuck..." You gasped, catching your breath.

"Good?" He asked, kissing your inner thigh and working his way up to kiss you. You could taste yourself on his lips, but it only added to your arousal.

"So good but now..." Your knees went weak and you rested your forehead against his. "Now I need you to fuck me."

In an instant, he lifted you so that you could wrap your legs around his waist. The position left you open and vulnerable, as he settled himself between your legs and pushed forward, burying his cock deep inside you. You gasped as you took his length fully, enjoying the fullness of him. The feel of him filling you to capacity.

Wooyoung thrust in and out of you, setting a steady pace that made you cling onto him. With each thrust, his pelvis smacked against your clit, making you cry out.

The speed increased as you leaned back against the wall, lifting your ass higher to accommodate him. Wooyoung gripped your hips, moving them back and forth with precision, hitting just the right spot. He pressed kisses to your neck, then your ears before finding your lips again.

The combination of the feel of his hands gripping your hips and the feel of his hard cock pulsating inside you, sent ripples of pleasure shooting through your body, igniting your passion.

"Oh God...Wooyoung..." You groaned, arching your back as his tongue found its way to your earlobe.

"You feel so good. I could fuck you forever." He whispered, thrusting into you harder and harder, his balls slapping against your ass with each thrust. "Can I fuck you forever?"

"Yes please...Yes. Yes.." You moaned, pressing your body tighter against his.

His moans were growing louder as he thrust into you faster and faster, matching your pace. With every thrust, his fingers dug into your hips, holding you tight against him. Every time you pressed back against him, he let out a long groan, then immediately buried himself inside you, fucking you harder and harder.

"Y/N... Y/N... Come for me..." He groaned against your ear.

It took every ounce of willpower not to let yourself cum, but his moans and the feel of his hard cock deep inside you drove you crazy and you knew you couldn't hold back any longer.

The muscles in your stomach clenched and a tremor coursed through your body as another orgasm ripped through you, leaving you trembling. Wooyoung thrust harder, gritting his teeth and growling as he came with you. The sight of him losing control and calling out your name made your heart skip a beat and make your knees buckle.

But before you could fall to the floor, he caught you in his arms and held you tightly, kissing you tenderly. You were completely spent and all you wanted was to collapse into his arms.

"I got you." He whispered, wrapping his arms around you protectively.

As soon as Wooyoung placed you on your feet, the power kicked back on and the elevator started moving again. The both of you let out a laugh as you fixed your clothes, making sure that nothing had fallen out of place.

"Wooyoung?" You turned to look at him, smiling at him. "Thank you."

He grasped your hand, linking your fingers together as you walked towards the doors. "Anytime."

As the elevator door opened, he let go of your hand, placing his hands on the doors and holding them open for you. He watched as you exited the elevator, giving you one last smile before he followed you.

When you got to your desk and Wooyoung to his, you were both silent, content in the fact that you had each other and no one else knew what had happened between the two of you. And when you turned to look at your phone, you saw a text from him asking if you wanted to get dinner later.

Your heart skipped a beat as your face lit up with a wide smile. The night was still young and there was plenty of time for you and Wooyoung to enjoy it together.

[marsplastic13]

'Complicated' (part 8) - Kaz Brekker x Reader

Idea - Kaz Brekker hires a prostitute to overcome his touch aversion, and be a better man for Inej, but things take an unxepected turn. Pairing: Kaz Brekker x Prostitute!Reader, (had to use y/n because I'm bad at names) Genre: modern AU, slow burn word count: 7k notes: can't wait to hear what you have to sayy

@millercontracting @coldmermaidhologram @syd649 @luffysprincess

For days, Kaz was insufferable, and no one could figure out why. Even Inej was perplexed by his sudden mood swings and outbursts. Kaz's frustration boiled over one evening when he got into a fight with Inej, something that never happened before. She was bewildered and hurt, unable to understand what had changed in him.

Kaz's obsession with y/n's Instagram stories didn't help. He watched every update with a mixture of longing and jealousy—expensive dinners, shopping sprees, gym sessions, and nights out with her friends, but never at his club. The final straw came when she posted a picture of her legs in a car, a man's hand resting on her thigh. Kaz knew it was meant for him, a message that stung deeply. Enraged, he threw his phone against the wall, startling Inej.

Inej, for her part, was annoyed because Kaz was dragging her to a business dinner with his boss, who had insisted for everyone to bring a plus one. Even Jesper had managed to secure a date, and Kaz didn't want to go alone. The dinner was to celebrate a deal he had closed, though his boss was taking all the credit, adding to Kaz's irritation.

They arrived at the restaurant, seemingly the last to do so. After some obligatory small talk, Kaz, his patience wearing thin, asked in his usual harsh tone, “Are we waiting for someone?”

“Didn't I tell you, Brekker?” his boss said, circling Kaz's shoulders with his arm. “I invited my new flame.” He leaned in conspiratorially, “A wild twenty-something. Don’t even ask me how I convinced her to go out with me.” He laughed, and the other men joined in. “She’s a pilates instructor, if you know what I mean. Oh, there she is.”

Kaz didn’t need to turn around or look at Jesper’s face to know who had just entered. He sighed heavily, the weight of the situation pressing down on him. How was this even possible?

“Hi, baby,” he heard the familiar voice behind him, and for a moment he frowned, hearing the nickname, before turning to see y/n talking to his boss, a man at least fifty years old. She cupped his face and kissed him. “Sorry I'm late. I had to stop someone in the middle of the street to help me zip up my dress,” she said, laughing. Kaz had no doubt it was true.

They locked eyes for an instant before her new boyfriend started parading her around, introducing her to everyone. When they reached Kaz and Inej, he saw Jesper's smug grin, dying to see how they would handle this.

“Inej, we met at that chocolate tasting thing. Still a huge fan,” y/n said, kissing both of Inej's cheeks.

“Oh, yeah, of course,” Inej remembered with a warm smile.

“Do you know each other?” Kaz's boss asked.

“Of course, love. Inej is TikTok famous, and I spend too much time at the Crow Club. Of course, we know each other.” The man turned towards the others. “See? I don’t understand a word she says! Tik, what? Isn't she a beauty?” He patted y/n’s ass.

“You're handsy tonight,” she commented with a laugh.

“So, you're a pilates instructor,” Jesper chimed in, and Kaz already knew he wasn't going to like whatever came next. “Must be heavy. How was work?”

“You have no idea. I had a double shift today,” y/n replied, her challenging eyes not leaving Jesper’s.

Jesper leaned back, a smirk on his lips. “Double shift, huh? Must be tough, keeping everyone’s bodies in shape.”

“Oh, it’s a workout, for sure,” y/n shot back, her smile saccharine. “But then again, some of us are just naturally flexible. Unlike others who are just naturally... bent.”

Jesper chuckled, feigning a wounded look. “Bent, you say? That’s rich, coming from someone who has to stretch the truth just to keep things interesting.”

“Stretching the truth?” y/n’s eyes gleamed with mischief. “I guess you’d know all about that.”

Kaz could feel the tension ratcheting up with each exchange, and he knew he had to intervene before it got out of hand. “Alright, enough,” he muttered, but neither Jesper nor y/n seemed inclined to listen.

“Oh, come on, Kaz,” Jesper said with a grin. “We’re just having a little fun. Right, y/n?”

“Absolutely,” y/n replied, her voice like honey laced with poison. “Fun is what it’s all about. Although, some people might confuse it with a desperate attempt to stay relevant.”

Jesper’s eyes flashed, his smile fading. “Relevance isn’t something I need to worry about. Unlike some who cling to their... clientele for attention.”

y/n leaned forward, her expression deadly calm. “Better to have a clientele that appreciates my talents than to rely on cheap tricks to get noticed.”

Kaz felt his patience slipping away. “Seriously, can we just focus on dinner?”

“Oh, we’re focused,” y/n said, her gaze flicking to Kaz. “Just making sure we all understand each other.”

Jesper snorted, shaking his head. “Yeah, we understand. Just remember, flexibility only gets you so far. Eventually, you have to stand for something.”

y/n’s smile turned icy. “And some of us are just fine standing on our own, without the need for constant validation.”

Before Jesper could respond, Kaz stepped in, his voice firm. “Enough. Let’s drop it.”

“I didn't know you knew each other so well,” said nervously Inej, glancing between the three with a confused look, but no one bothered to reply to her.

They settled at the table. The boss sat at the head, of course, with Kaz to his right and y/n to his left, directly across from Kaz. He looked disgusted as the older man kept trying to hand-feed her, and she couldn't stop laughing.

“Baby, I'm vegan, you know that,” she giggled, shoving his hand away.

“I have no idea what you're saying,” the man insisted, trying to put an oyster in her mouth. y/n leaned back, dodging the oyster with a graceful twist, her laughter tinkling like a bell. Kaz clenched his jaw, unable to tear his eyes away from the scene.

After a few courses, y/n excused herself. “This is weird, right?” Inej whispered in Kaz’s ear.

“Absolutely,” he replied, his mind racing. If Inej found it unsettling, she had no idea how strange it was for him.

Unable to control himself, Kaz faked a phone call and followed y/n to the restroom. He heard the unmistakable sound of someone throwing up. After checking that the other stalls were empty, Kaz locked the door behind him. “y/n, it's me.”

“Are you here to hold my hair?” she replied between heaves, her voice shaky and weak.

Kaz waited, leaning back against the sinks, his mind racing with anxiety. After what felt like an eternity, she emerged, her face pale as she washed her hands and mouth. “What do you want?” she asked, her annoyance barely masking the exhaustion in her voice.

“Are you okay?” Kaz asked, his voice softer, more vulnerable than he intended.

“Why do you care?” she shot back, turning to dry her hands.

“You looked sick out there. I couldn’t just ignore it,” Kaz said, his worry deepening with every passing second.

“He kept trying to put dead animals in my mouth,” she said, proceeding to reapply her lipstick. “I had no idea he was your boss. You never talk about details of your job, and I don’t really listen to him.”

"Why are you dating him?" Kaz's voice was sharp, edged with an intensity that mirrored the turmoil in his mind. He stood firm, his eyes searching y/n's face for some semblance of understanding.

"I know you're not familiar with the concept, but I'm doing it because it's fun," y/n replied, her tone laced with defiance as she finally turned to face him directly.

Kaz clenched his jaw, frustration bubbling beneath the surface. "Are you sleeping with him?"

"It's none of your business. Why do you care?" y/n shot back, her gaze piercing through him, challenging him to justify his concern.

A pang of something he couldn't quite name surged within Kaz. He couldn't believe that just a week ago, y/n was one of the people he felt closest to. They had shared intimate moments—shared a bed, watched shows together, kissed. Hell, he had probably kissed y/n more than his own girlfriend.

“I care because this is awkward.” Kaz admitted, his voice tinged with regret.

“It is for me too,” she said, stepping closer, “But I mean, it’s not like I married him. Even if he asked me.” Her smile became dangerous, “he asks me everytime that we are in bed.”

Kaz felt a surge of anger rise within him, his jaw tightening as he struggled to keep his emotions in check. The thought of her with his boss, a man old enough to be her father, made his blood boil. 

She stepped even closer, her frustration boiling over. "Why are you so mad, Kaz? Why does it matter to you so much if he proposes to me?"

“I just... I can't stand the thought of you marrying him."

"Why?" y/n pressed, her voice rising with intensity. "Why does it bother you?"

"Because," Kaz began, his voice strained, "because it's him. Because he's not right for you. Because... because you're better than that."

y/n sighed, shaking her head in exasperation. "That’s the thing that you don’t want to accept, I’m not better than this. Maybe I’ll say yes just to let him plan a wedding and leave him at the altar."

Kaz's jaw tightened, his frustration boiling over. "You don't mean that."

"Don't I?" she challenged, crossing her arms. "You have this idealized version of me in your head, but the truth is, I'm not the person you think I am."

Kaz took a step forward, his eyes pleading. "I know you, y/n. I know you're better than this. You don't have to do this to prove anything."

y/n's expression softened for a moment before hardening again. "You think you know me, but you don't. You see what you want to see. The truth is, I like chaos. I thrive in it. And maybe, just maybe, I enjoy watching you squirm."

Kaz felt a wave of anger and sadness crash over him. "Is that what this is about? Hurting me?"

"Maybe," she admitted, her voice cold. "Or maybe it's about me taking control of my life in the only way I know how. You have Inej. You have your stable, predictable life. This is mine."

Kaz shook his head, his frustration mounting. "You don't have to destroy yourself to take control. You deserve better."

"And who decides what I deserve?" y/n shot back. "You? You can't even decide what you want."

Kaz opened his mouth to argue, but the words wouldn't come. He knew she was right. He was torn between what he had with Inej and what he felt for y/n. "I just don't want to see you hurt," he finally said, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Oh baby, it takes a lot more than a lovesick idiot decades older than me to hurt me,” she laughed, the sound harsh and unfeeling. “Look, you have your thing with your girlfriend. You two are like high school sweethearts or something. You're going to stay together forever and fuck only in missionary to stare into each other’s souls, repeating how much you love each other.”

Kaz flinched at her words, the biting tone cutting deep. He wanted to argue, to tell her she was wrong, but he couldn't find the words.

y/n paused, her eyes locking onto his with a dangerous glint. “I like it when things get ugly, Kaz. Accept it. Also, your girlfriend is right there, go be jealous of her! Don’t you have any shame left, Kaz?”

Kaz shook his head, a mix of anger and desperation flooding his chest, “Lower your voice.”. 

The girl didn’t miss how he tensed at the mention of his girlfriend, "How are things with Inej?"

Kaz blinked, caught off guard by y/n's directness. He shifted uncomfortably, the weight of her question pressing down on him like a lead blanket. "Static," he finally answered, the word tasting bitter on his tongue as he met her intense gaze.

y/n raised an eyebrow, her expression a mixture of curiosity and concern. "Static," she repeated, as if she could sense the underlying tension in his voice.

Kaz sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair. "Yeah, static," he elaborated, his frustration seeping through. "We're... drifting. It's like we're stuck in this loop, going through the motions without really connecting."

y/n nodded slowly, her eyes searching his face for more than just words. "That doesn't sound good," she observed quietly, her voice edged with sympathy.

"It's not," Kaz admitted, his tone raw with honesty. "I thought I could handle it, you know? Keep things steady, maintain control. But..." He trailed off, unable to articulate the turmoil brewing inside him.

"But it's not what you want," y/n finished for him, her voice gentle yet probing.

Kaz hesitated, grappling with his own conflicting emotions. "I don't know what I want anymore," he confessed quietly, more to himself than to her.

She hummed, “Can I go? I don't want to stay around you.”

Kaz chuckled harshly, not moving from the door. “We could have been friends, Kaz. Why did you do it?” Her eyes filled with sadness and anger. He let her go, unable to voice his thoughts.

As she left, he stood there for a moment, feeling the weight of his decisions pressing down on him. Then, he grabbed her by her arm, “Break up with him. I don't want to lose you," he said quietly.

"You never really had me," y/n replied, her voice gentle but firm, going back to the table.

The dinner went painfully slow. Kaz saw an incoming text and grabbed his phone hopefully, but it was a message from Inej.

‘Can we invite her with us later? I can’t stand the thought of her going away with him.’

Why did she always have to be so kind and worried about other people? Why did she have to put him in that position?

‘No,’ he texted back.

‘Come on, it’s painful to watch.’

In reality, they looked really good together. y/n could play ‘faithful girlfriend’ really well. His boss was whispering in her ear, tracing patterns on her arm, and she looked sincerely amused. Maybe they really felt something for each other.

‘Looks like they’re having fun.’

He heard Inej sigh. ‘I’m asking her.’

“y/n, do you have plans for later?” asked Inej with her motherly voice.

“I don’t know, do we have plans, baby?” y/n asked, turning towards her boyfriend.

“I guess you could come with me, bring me luck in a few rounds of cards,” he said, eating her with his eyes.

“Why don’t you come with us?” asked Inej, full of enthusiasm. “I’m sure Kaz and Jesper have to go to the Crow Club. We could keep each other company.”

Jesper’s wide eyes fixed on Kaz, who pinched the bridge of his nose. Why was this happening?

“Oh, I don’t want to intrude,” y/n laughed nervously.

“Nonsense, I’ll be bored out of my mind. I’m not taking no for an answer.”

Kaz saw y/n completely caged. “Why don’t you come dancing with us, love?” she tried desperately, looking at her boyfriend.

He laughed, “I’m too old for this, but go and have fun, alright?”

y/n made a tight smile. “I guess I will.”

Kaz’s heart twisted as he watched the interaction unfold. y/n’s eyes flicked to his, a flash of something unreadable passing between them. He felt a surge of conflicting emotions—anger, protectiveness, jealousy. His mind raced with thoughts he couldn’t quite articulate.

“Great!” Inej said brightly, oblivious to the undercurrents. “It’ll be fun, I promise.”

Kaz forced a smile, his mind still reeling. As they all stood to leave, his boss leaned in to kiss y/n on the cheek, murmuring something that made her laugh, though her eyes didn’t quite match the sound.

Of course, Jesper invented an excuse about why y/n couldn’t go with him and his date, so she followed Kaz and Inej to his car.

As they left the parking lot, Kaz and y/n noticed at the same time that her phone connected automatically to his car system, and they shot a panicked look at each other in the rearview mirror. 

“Oh saints, is there a fire?” y/n shouted to distract Inej, who was seated beside Kaz. 

“Where?” Inej was looking outside, trying to find the source of the commotion.

“Oh, nothing, must have been something else,” y/n mumbled, while Kaz quickly disconnected her phone.

Kaz had never felt shittier than at that moment. Inej didn’t deserve any of this. The guilt gnawed at him as they drove in silence.

They settled at their usual table in the Crow Club, an awkward silence hanging over them despite the loud music. Kaz could feel the tension mounting, his mind racing with conflicting thoughts about Inej, y/n, and the tangled web he had woven.

A waiter approached, and y/n immediately assaulted him with her order. “How much vodka are you legally allowed to pour in my glass?” she asked with narrowed eyes. The man looked puzzled and made an approximate sign with his fingers. 

“Great, I’ll take three,” she smiled. The waiter hesitated, “Do you want something with it?”

“Oh yeah, uhm, those little funny umbrellas you put on fancy drinks,” y/n nodded, avoiding the weirded-out looks from the others at the table.

Kaz sighed, leaning back in his chair. “Make them six. Without umbrellas for me.” Inej shot him a side-eyed glare while the others proceeded to make their orders.

Jesper broke the silence, his tone dripping with sarcasm. “So, y/n, why don’t we talk a bit about your boyfriend? That was a surprise.”

“Don’t tell me,” she said with a tight smile, her fingers tapping nervously on the table.

Kaz glared at Jesper, his frustration mounting. There was  no reason to make the night even more weird, he thought.

“How long have you been dating him?” Jesper insisted, ignoring Kaz’s glare.

“Don’t know, three weeks, a month.”

“The age difference doesn’t bother you?” asked a concerned Inej.

Y/n shrugged, “No, it should?”

“Sorry, I’m not judging you,” said Inej warmly.

“Oh, I’m pretty sure you are,” commented y/n under her breath, finishing her first glass in one go.

Kaz tried to steer the conversation away from y/n, but Inej persisted. “I didn’t mean to offend you, really.”

“Mh, are we sure of this?” y/n said with a nervous giggle, studying her nails, the nails Kaz had chosen for her.

“Do you like them?” y/n stuck her hand in front of Inej.

“Oh, ehm, yeah, not my style, but they look nice.”

y/n hummed, locking eyes with Kaz for a second. Kaz quickly emptied all three of his glasses, his thoughts becoming more blurred. He could sense things going sour pretty fast. Jesper couldn’t stop making allusions to y/n’s job, Inej was still trying to repair what she had said about her boyfriend, and Jesper’s date looked too confused to intervene.

“I really like your dress,” y/n blurted out towards Inej at a certain point. “Did you choose it for her?” she said, turning to Kaz. “I bet he’s really good at picking outfits.”

Kaz rolled his eyes, and Inej frowned. “I don’t think he ever chose an outfit for me,” she said, puzzled.

“I heard you’re vegan,” Inej tried again, wanting desperately to befriend y/n.

“I am,” she confirmed without adding anything.

“You know, the other day I found vegan ice cream in Kaz’s fridge, and it’s weird because he always says that vegan stuff must taste horrible,” laughed Inej

y/n snorted, “Does he? I bet he even thinks that smoking is bad for you.” she retorted, leaving Inej confused.

Jesper shot Kaz an exasperated glare and asked him to step outside for a moment. “Vegan ice cream? Was she at your place again?”

Kaz sighed, feeling too tipsy to elaborate good lies. “Her AC was broken.”

Jesper’s face reddened with anger. “Oh, so now every excuse is good enough for you to hook up with her in the same bed you share with your girlfriend?”

“Nothing happened, Jesper. We just slept in the same bed.”

“Do you hear yourself?” Jesper's voice rose, frustration evident. “You’re crossing lines, Kaz. This isn’t just about Inej anymore. You’re messing with everyone’s feelings, including your own.”

Kaz rubbed his temples, the alcohol making everything blurrier. “What do you want me to say, Jes? I’m not going to see her anymore, so just save it.”

Jesper tilted his head, scrutinizing Kaz. “Did something happen between you two?”

Kaz hesitated, his mind swirling with confusion and guilt. “Nothing… physical,” he finally said, but the words felt hollow.

Jesper’s eyes narrowed. “But you feel something for her?”

Kaz nodded, defeated. 

“Does she—?” Jesper's voice softened slightly, but his anger was still palpable.

“She does, but it’s…” Kaz struggled to find the right words. “I love Inej. I’ll forget whatever this is, don’t worry.”

Jesper shook his head, clearly not satisfied. “Kaz, you can’t just ‘forget’ feelings. And what about y/n? She’s not just some random girl; she’s got feelings too. You’re stringing her along while trying to stay loyal to Inej. It’s not fair to any of you.”

Kaz looked away, feeling the weight of Jesper’s words. “I know, Jes. I know I’ve messed up. But I’m trying to fix it.”

Jesper’s anger flared again. “Trying to fix it? By ignoring it? That’s not fixing anything. You need to face this head-on, talk to them both, and figure out what you really want.”

Kaz clenched his fists, frustration boiling over. “It’s not that simple, Jesper. You don’t understand.”

Jesper stepped closer, his voice low and dangerous. “No, Kaz, I do understand. I understand that you’re scared of making a choice because you don’t want to lose either of them. But if you keep this up, you’re going to lose them both. And you’ll have no one to blame but yourself.”

Kaz’s eyes burned. “I can’t lose Inej,” he whispered.

Jesper softened slightly, seeing the pain in his friend’s eyes. “Then don’t.”

Kaz kicked a rock, the anger and frustration boiling over. “I went to her house while Inej was sleeping in my fucking bed,” he confessed, his voice thick with regret. “I made a fool of myself and she rejected me. There’s not much more to do or to say. She’s right, Inej is the person for me.”

Jesper took a deep breath, choosing his words carefully. “I never questioned what there is between you and Inej, Kaz, but are you sure it’s still there?”

Kaz clenched his fists, the weight of Jesper’s question pressing down on him. “It has to be. I did all this mess for her, it has to work, we have to work” he insisted, though his voice wavered.

Jesper shook his head, his tone gentle but firm. “Just because you’ve done everything for her doesn’t mean it’s right anymore. People change, feelings change. You can’t force something that’s not there.”

Kaz looked away. “Inej means everything to me.”

“But is that enough?” Jesper pressed. “If you’re still drawn to y/n, if you’re feeling things you shouldn’t be feeling, then something isn’t right. Ignoring it won’t make it go away.”

Kaz’s mind was a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. He knew Jesper was right, but he couldn’t bring himself to accept it. “Y/n made it very clear that she doesn’t want anything from me,” he said, his voice tinged with frustration and sorrow.

Jesper shook his head, his expression serious. “It’s not fair to use Inej as a rebound, Kaz. She deserves better than that.”

Kaz’s eyes flashed with a mixture of anger and guilt. “Do you think I don’t feel bad about it? It’s consuming me,” he admitted, his voice breaking slightly. “Every day, it’s like I’m being torn apart. Inej means everything to me, but there’s something about Y/n that I can’t shake off.”

Jesper’s eyes softened, but his stance remained firm. He listened attentively, sensing there was more Kaz needed to get off his chest.

“She’s funny, Jes, she’s so fucking funny,” Kaz sighed, a small, almost imperceptible smile tugging at the corner of his lips as he recalled their time together. “And unpredictable. We spent an entire night awake smoking weed, binge-watching House, then out of fucking nowhere she starts cooking, and we ate at three a.m. half-naked with her roommates,” he paused, the frustration evident in his voice, “and I had fun.”

Jesper’s brows furrowed, absorbing Kaz’s words. “Kaz, you need to be honest with yourself. Are you really happy with Inej, or are you just clinging to what you think you should feel?”

Kaz looked down, the weight of Jesper’s words hitting him hard. “I love Inej,” he said quietly, as if trying to convince himself more than anyone else.  “Without her, I don’t know who I am.”

Jesper let out a long breath, clearly torn. "You owe it to both of them, and to yourself, to figure this out. Hiding from it won’t make it go away.”

Kaz’s mind raced, grappling with the conflicting emotions. “Inej deserves better than this,” he muttered, his voice filled with self-loathing.

Jesper placed a hand on Kaz’s shoulder, his grip firm. “Then don’t lie to her. Be honest.”

Kaz shook his head, his voice barely above a whisper. “I can’t break up with her, Jesper. I’ll figure it out.”

They made their way back just in time to spot Y/n quickly leaving the table, her face a mix of frustration and hurt. 

“Everything okay?” asked Inej, looking up at Kaz with concern. He leaned down to kiss her temple, a gesture that felt both comforting and laden with guilt.

“Yes, you?” he replied, his voice strained.

“Yeah, Y/n said she had to leave. She is a bit weird, right?” Inej commented, her tone uncertain.

Kaz’s jaw tightened, a surge of protectiveness for Y/n bubbling up. “Maybe she just didn’t like all of you questioning her all night,” he replied, his words coming out harsher than he intended.

“I wasn’t questioning her,” said Inej defensively, her brows furrowing.

“Come on, Nej, you were,” Kaz countered, his frustration slipping through.

Jesper, sensing the brewing tension, quickly intervened. “Hey, let’s not turn this into a fight.”

Inej looked between Kaz and Jesper, confusion and hurt evident in her eyes. “I was just trying to get to know her. If it came off wrong, I’m sorry.”

Kaz sighed, running a hand through his hair. “You knew what you were doing. You too, Jesper.”

Inej’s eyes widened in surprise. “What are you talking about?”

“You both kept pushing,” Kaz said, trying to keep his voice steady. “Maybe she felt like she was being interrogated.”

Jesper frowned, crossing his arms. “We were just curious. She’s new, and it’s not like she was very forthcoming.”

Kaz bit back a retort, knowing he had to be careful. He couldn’t let on how well he knew Y/n. “There’s a difference between being curious and making someone feel uncomfortable. Maybe next time, ease up a bit.”

Inej looked hurt, but she nodded. “I’ll be more careful. I really didn’t mean any harm. And certainly I didn’t know you cared so much.”

Kaz tried to brush off the tension, forcing a casual tone. “She’s the boss’s new girlfriend. Doesn’t seem like a good idea to piss her off.”

Jesper raised an eyebrow. “You’re right. We don’t need any unnecessary drama.”

Inej sighed, her expression softening. “I understand. I’ll try to be more considerate next time.”

Kaz Brekker had done a lot of awful things in his life, but making his girlfriend apologize for how she treated his... what? Other girl? was by far the worst one.

***

Kaz stood outside the workplace with his boss, engrossed in discussions about some upcoming deals. The atmosphere was serious, focused on business, until the abrupt interruption by y/n Mini's aggressive arrival. Her car screeched to a harsh stop in front of them, tinted windows hiding her expression from Kaz's view.

“Pray for me, Brekker, this girl drives like we have extra lives,” Kaz's boss joked, patting Kaz on the shoulder. Kaz felt his jaw clench instinctively. y/n began impatiently honking her horn, prompting Kaz's boss to gesture for her to wait.

“It really shows she didn’t have a father to teach her, let me tell you,” the boss remarked with a chuckle, clearly unaware of the impact of his words on Kaz. The comment hit him like a weight in his stomach. y/n had never mentioned her parents or their absence to him. Apparently, she had confided in his boss, which left Kaz feeling a mix of confusion and hurt. He thought about all the times they had spent together, the conversations they'd had, and the intimacy they'd shared. Yet, there was this significant part of her life that she had kept from him. 

The realization stung. Kaz had always prided himself on being perceptive and insightful, able to navigate the complexities of people's lives and motivations. But now, he felt blindsided and uncertain. He wanted to understand why she had chosen to reveal such personal details to his boss and not to him. But again, they were properly dating and Kaz had been just his client.

“But she’s worth it. She’ll be the death of me, wild little thing she is, let me tell you. I’m not that young anymore,” his boss continued with a conspiratorial tone, leaning in closer. Kaz's skin crawled at the familiarity in his boss’s voice. “Best thing is, all of her tastes like candies,” he added with a lecherous grin. “And the way she moves, Brekker, I’m not even going to tell you, but I mean, you are with the Wraith, I bet you know a thing or two about flexible women.”

Kaz's jaw clenched so hard he thought his teeth might crack. The casual vulgarity, the smug tone, the blatant disrespect—it all churned his stomach. He fought the urge to lash out, knowing that any reaction would only add fuel to the fire. He forced his hands to remain at his sides, his nails biting into his palms.

“You should see her when she’s in a playful mood. It’s like she’s got this spark, you know? Makes every moment feel like an adventure,” his boss continued, clearly enjoying the effect his words were having on Kaz. “And let me tell you, she knows how to keep a man entertained. Never a dull moment with that one.”

“Are you coming or are you waiting for me to reach your age?” y/n’s voice cut through the tension, her tone dripping with impatience as she leaned out of the car window. Her eyes, sharp and challenging, met Kaz's for a fleeting moment before focusing back on his boss.

Kaz's boss laughed heartily, either oblivious to Kaz's internal struggle or simply not caring. He waved off Kaz, already heading towards the car. “Better not keep the lady waiting,” he said, throwing a wink at Kaz.

As his boss and y/n sped away, Kaz was left standing there, grappling with a flood of emotions. He felt a pang of jealousy towards his boss for seemingly knowing a side of y/n that Kaz did not. There was a gnawing realization that despite their closeness, their relationship might not be as deep or transparent as he had assumed. He wondered why she hadn't shared this part of her life with him, and whether there were other aspects of herself she was keeping hidden.

***

Kaz's mind was a whirlwind of thoughts as he received Jesper’s text, ‘They broke up’. The message shattered the otherwise quiet evening he was spending with Inej. She was talking about something important, probably really interesting, but he lost focus completely, consumed by the sudden news. 

‘What happened?’ he typed back quickly, his fingers almost shaking with anticipation.

‘No one knows,’ came Jesper’s swift reply.

A small, involuntary grin tugged at Kaz’s lips. He would have given away his car and his house to know more. 

“Inej, love, something happened at work. I have to go,” he said, standing up abruptly.

“Love?” she laughed, a lighthearted teasing in her voice. “Who are you?”

Kaz cursed himself for letting the endearment slip out—something he never used before. He headed out fast, leaving behind Inej’s puzzled expression.

He reached his office, where he expected to find his boss. The man's angry shouts were audible even from outside. Kaz strolled in casually, pretending to look for something. As he had anticipated, the boss spotted him immediately and called him over.

The boss was already taking out two glasses and a bottle from a cabinet, gesturing for Kaz to sit. “Are we celebrating something?” Kaz asked, trying to maintain his composure.

“Celebrating? That bitch broke up with me,” the boss spat out.

“What? Why?” Kaz feigned surprise, leaning forward slightly, eager for more information.

The man studied him, taking a long sip. “You know, I trust you, Brekker. You’re my right hand. Hell, you're like a son to me.”

“Thank you,” Kaz replied, trying to look amused. He needed his boss to keep talking.

“I was just too old for her. I should have seen this coming,” the boss muttered, clearly annoyed. “She has this way of... I don't know how to explain it... making you feel light and special.”

Kaz hummed, knowing firsthand how right he was.

“Stay away from women like that, Brekker. When you become aware of what they've done to you, it's too late. You find yourself lonely and drinking, with your heart broken.”

Kaz couldn't believe what he was hearing. He hadn’t thought his boss actually fell for y/n; he assumed it was just the rush of dating a woman so much younger than him.

“I know you lost your father when you were young, so no one could teach you these things. Let me step in for a moment,” the man poured a third round. “You found yourself a good girl, Kaz. Even after everything she's been through, she's doing God's work around the world, such a good girl. I didn't think she would settle for a broken bastard like you. But you've been lucky. Those are the women you can count on.”

Kaz wasn't sure what to say. The man’s words were both insulting and painfully accurate.

“And well, let's be honest, the fact that she's always away lets you be more… Free, let's say,” he added with a wink.

Kaz frowned. Was he implying that he would approve if Kaz cheated on Inej? After all that praise?

“I don't think I'm following you.”

“Oh, Brekker, you don't fool me. I've known you since you were twelve. I saw you coming in here, walking three feet above the ground,” he chuckled, “What's her name?”

Kaz felt utterly exposed. “Sir, I don't know what you're talking about.”

His boss openly laughed, “You want to play it like this? Your choice. I thought we were having a man-to-man conversation, an honest one.”

Kaz hesitated, his mind racing. Was it true? Was it really so evident?

“I saw you happy, Brekker, the same smile you have when a few hundred thousand kruge go your way.” He poured more liquor, and Kaz drank it fast. “As I would tell a son, keep having your fun while your girlfriend is out there saving the world. You've never been a saint, don’t start now. But this other girl, don’t turn it into something else, something it’s not meant to be.”

Kaz sat there, the weight of his boss’s words pressing down on him. “I'm not cheating on Inej.” Kaz hoped that his voice was steady enough.

His boss smiled, a knowing glint in his eyes. “I'm not judging you, son. You're a man. Your girlfriend is always away. It's how things go. Whoever she is, she's good for you.”

Kaz nodded, lost in thought, wondering what his reaction would be if his boss knew the girl they were talking about was the same one who had broken up with him a few hours earlier. It was a twisted irony that left him feeling even more conflicted.

Kaz took a deep breath, the alcohol burning in his throat. “It’s not just a mistake,” he said quietly. “It’s more complicated than that.”

“Complicated, huh? So there is a girl.” His boss leaned forward, pouring another round of drinks with practiced ease. “Come on, Kaz,” he urged, his tone almost fatherly. “You can talk to me. I’ve seen it all—business and personal. You know I’ve got your back.”

Kaz hesitated, his mind racing. Apparently, the hesitation was enough to make the boss jump to his conclusions. “I knew it, good for you.”

“Kaz, you’re not fooling anyone. You’ve got that look—conflicted, torn. You don’t get that way unless there’s someone involved. This other girl—she makes you feel alive, doesn’t she?” 

Kaz nodded reluctantly. “Yes. She does.”

“Then put yourself out there, Brekker, but remember, serious relationships are for women like your Inej, not the wild ones. Don’t mess it up.”

Kaz’s heart sank at the words. He felt a strange mix of guilt and longing. “What do you mean?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Look, Kaz,” his boss said, leaning in closer. “The wild ones—they’re exciting, they make you feel things you never thought you could feel. But they’re not the ones you build a life with. They’re a thrill, a distraction. Inej, on the other hand, she’s the kind of woman you build a future with. Don’t confuse the two.”

Kaz’s mind raced, the conflicting emotions churning inside him. The way his boss spoke about the situation made it sound so black and white, but to Kaz, it was anything but. He tried to steady his breathing, feeling cornered by the conversation.

“You don’t think you can make a wife out of a little slut you’re having fun with?” his boss continued, his tone dismissive and crude.

“She’s not a slut,” Kaz said through gritted teeth, his fists clenching on the table. “Don’t talk about her like that.”

The boss raised an eyebrow, clearly surprised by Kaz’s fierce reaction. “Alright, alright,” he said, holding up his hands in a placating gesture. “I didn’t mean to offend. But you have to see where I’m coming from. There’s a difference between a good time and a lifetime.”

Kaz’s jaw tightened, but he forced himself to stay calm. “She’s not just a ‘good time.’ She’s... she’s important to me.”

“Important, huh?” His boss leaned back in his chair, studying Kaz intently. “Important or just good in bed?”

Kaz clenched his fists, struggling to keep his temper in check. “It’s not like that. It’s more than that.”

His boss chuckled, clearly skeptical. “Is it? Or are you just telling yourself that because she’s giving you something you’re not getting from Inej?”

Kaz looked away, feeling the sting of his boss’s words. He couldn’t deny that the physical aspect of his relationship with Y/N was intense, but it was more than that.

“I have to go.”

At a red light, Kaz texted y/n, 'Heard about the break up, how are you?' He didn’t expect an answer, but a few minutes later, his phone buzzed. He glanced at the screen and nearly ran into a stop sign. It was a selfie from y/n, taken from the nose down. She was on a bed, and someone was biting her neck. Guess she was dealing with it pretty well.

Kaz's mind spun with thoughts. The image brought a mix of jealousy, curiosity, and a pang of regret. He wondered if they could ever revert to being just friends. They had blurred too many boundaries, making it hard to imagine a platonic relationship. Where would they stop? Would they be able to spend time together without succumbing to their intense chemistry? Could he even desire a non-romantic relationship with her now?

Their connection had always been more than just physical, yet now it seemed impossible to separate the two. The lines had been crossed, and there was no going back.

Kaz pulled over to the side of the road, needing a moment to collect his thoughts. He stared at the photo again, trying to decipher the emotions it stirred within him. Could they ever just be friends, or had they ruined any chance of a simple, uncomplicated relationship?

***

Weeks later, Kaz and Inej got into a fight. A big one. One that made them scream at each other like they never had before, leading to him storming out of his house. The words Inej had said echoed in his mind, and he couldn't believe the things she had thrown at him in anger. He got in his car and started driving, his hands gripping the wheel tightly as rage flooded through his veins. 

He drove straight to y/n's house, not caring that it was late, not caring about anything except the need to see her. The light in her apartment was on, which was a small relief. He was ready to wake up the entire neighborhood if necessary. He picked the lock on the door of the building with practiced ease, his movements fueled by a mix of desperation and anger. He went straight to her apartment and knocked on the door, his heart pounding.

After a moment, y/n emerged, her head poking out cautiously. At first, she looked scared, then puzzled when she recognized him. “I… I thought it was the police,” she muttered, her voice shaky.

Kaz's breath was heavy, and adrenaline surged through his body. Without a word, he took out his phone, opened his banking app, and turned the screen towards her. “Take whatever you want, empty my bank account, I don't care. I want you. Now.”

[kaiserin-erzsebet]

tell us more about your complicated feelings about the accuracy of shows like Bridgerton, please!!!

Thank you for asking. I've been wanting to get it out of my head.

First off, I think "historical accuracy" can be a somewhat impossible standard. We don't know the past well enough to do a one-to-one recreation, and even if we did, it would probably be kind of uninteresting. We understand that romance or mystery fiction isn't a one-to-one recreation of modern life either, even if it is set in our own time.

I hold historical accuracy to the same standards as book accuracy when it comes to adaptations. Something is going to change between mediums and that is a pretty neutral thing on the face of it. I often look for an understanding of themes (or predominant concerns of the period) and vibes more than I look for accuracy. And I let the media itself tell me how serious it wants to be about recreating the past.

I love this scene from Marie Antoinette for capturing Rococo excess, and there is a pair of Converse in it:

When I talk about shows like Bridgerton, I mean the ones that exist in this kind of "less than serious, but recognizably historical setting." Overtly self-serious works like a certain recent Napoleon movie that everyone panned are easy to critique on the grounds of historical accuracy, because they are presenting themselves as trying for that.

Bridgerton, on the other hand, is Regency with a giant asterisk. The sparkly dresses and pop song covers tell you that. I feel like it occupies a similar niche to something like Reign, where the aesthetics and the music and the story tell you it is more about romance than about serious history. You're here to have fun and watch pretty people kiss. Yet, there are recognizable historical figures in it at points, which keep it from being full fantasy.

And I don't have anything against something that is interested in being fun and romantic. My own media diet isn't exclusively serious stuff either.

The complicated part of my feelings come more from reception than anything the show is necessarily doing. To me, a historian who consumes a lot of historical media, it's pretty obvious that the show is wearing "not that historical" on its sleeve. And generally, I give that more grace because it is being clear about what it is.

However, in the wake of the show's popularity, I've seen people engaging with it in a way that gives me pause. For example, on a video of a woman making a dress for a Bridgerton premiere, a lot of people in the comments were trying to tell her to do a "period accurate" Regency dress. Period accurate. For Bridgerton. The show that takes actual Regency fashion as a suggested base that they build off of.

I've similarly seen videos along the lines of "POV a Bridgerton era girl doing [x]" that seem to be thinking Bridgerton is a representation of the time period rather than existing in its own bubble. Or people discussing it saying things like "back then [insert thing] was true" trying to draw from the actual Regency period (usually rather badly).

It's like the popularity has broken through to people who don't usually consume history or historical media, who simply miss how much the show is saying that it isn't history. It's a sort of undiscerning audience who isn't catching the blatant, intentional differences from a serious period piece because they know very little about the period. And then things merge into how they think about actual history (see also: people who bring up plot points from Reign to characterize actual Mary QoS in Mary vs Elizabeth discussions, or people who talk about "back then" with GoT or HotD)

And my complicated feeling is this: I don't actually think these shows could do more to differentiate themselves from actual history. They're giving you all the clues to say they aren't trying to do that. Yet, I can't help but think that there are still ways that they bleed into perceptions of history. And I wonder if that is an inevitability with loosely historical media.

[thekeeperof-thefandoms]

TW: sensitive topics

Adam slowly becomes more tolerate and less misogynistic over time via osmosis but won't admit it and instead hides it.

Adam thinks women bitch too much about the pink tax until he's sent out to get period products for Reader and Lute, only to realise that his cost of his shopping just doubled in price from just one pack.

Adam thinks women bitch too much about not being welcomed to normally male occupied spaces until he's playing late night online and hears a woman join only to leave after five minutes because everyone kept harassing them.

Adam hounds a girl for her number, thinking that he's so smooth for getting it in the end, but then decided to lose it after watching a film with Reader and Lute where it showed a girl terrified of what would happen if she didn't give a guy her number and hears Reader and Lute, two very capable women, talk about how they've been in similar positions.

Adam has done a lot of thinking lately.

Personally, I'd like to think that Heaven, while flawed, is above some of the nonsense like the pink tax. I do still think catcalling and being harassed happens, probably mainly in result to a lot of men modeling Adam's behavior.

But once he gets with you and you start calling him on his shit, and therefore Lute gets more comfortable calling him out, and especially after the period simulator, he's more aware of certain things.

I feel like eventually he'd ask you if this is how bad it is now, what did you do when you were alive? When you had to work constantly, sometimes 2 jobs at a time, just to afford basics. That's when you tell him you didn't really have a choice but to suck it up. That you weren't allowed to get a hysterectomy, you couldn't take sick days just for a period, and that most doctors wouldn't believe you anyway.

Especially if you're a trans person this is a big foot in the door to explaining how poorly women and queer people are treated. Hit em with the fact that religious nuts use Adam and God as examples for their behavior and he's going to feel physically sick. I think he'd have to take a few days to just be by himself and really think about how he acts and how people interpret that.

From there it's a slow build up to correcting his behavior. And it's not always gonna be easy. He's going to be defensive, he'll tell you that you're overreacting and that him persistently following a girl around to ask her for her number repeatedly isn't bad, it shows he's interested. He's a nice guy.

Tell him that's what other men thought too until "insert any woman you can think of who was assualted".

Lute's more direct, she sits his ass down and has him watch as many true crime stories of women getting kidnapped, SA, tortured, and murdered as she can find. Usually she picks ones based off the names you drop. He really only has to hear 4 or 5 before it sinks in. (Tiktok reminded me of the girl who was tortured to death for 45 days and assualted with lit fireworks so, have that fresh horror in your minds).

Tell him about any personal experiences you had and how terrifying it is to be a woman or queer. Show him the responses to the man or the bear question. Let him fully realize how many people, people he knows as strong and capable, would rather face the bear because "the worst the bear can do is kill me". Or "Nobody accuses me of liking being attacked by a bear"

"No one asked me what I was wearing when the bear attacked"

"People would actually believe me if I said I was attacked by a bear."

"The bear sees me as a person."

"The bear lives in the woods, the man probably followed me."

Each answer is gonna send a new shiver down his spine.

Reforming Adam isn't an easy or fast process but it's fully possible because I don't think he's bad or a fullblown narcissist. I think he's been told his entire existence that he's a good guy, a pinnacle of creation, someone to be admired and obeyed without question.

You could argue he may be a bit controlling and narcissistic because of how he treated Lillith and requested a submissive wife with Eve. And I don't think he's ever not going to be full of himself and expect his ideal partner to be a bit more traditional in the sense that they're a housewife/domestic type. But he also likes people who go out and have fun, can get wild, and he definitely thinks it's hot if you can defend yourself even if it strokes his ego if you let him do it.

But overall, I think with enough time, patience, and exposure Adam could become a better person. Probably the type who would throw hands with himself if he could. Definitely becomes the type to start borderline hating other men.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am i (FTM 18) the asshole for accidentally telling out friends about how my bf is into CBT? (that's cock and ball torture btw)

So the other day me and my bf's friends were all talking in the group chat we had. My bf is quite a bit older than me so we don't really have the same friends. I'm very open with my friends about my life, even my sex life yeah, though it's all joking. My bf, who I'll call Steve, is decidedly not. He doesn't mind the jokes about it though and we make them with each other and the group chat all the time. ANYWAYS onto the story, we were all talking in the gc and one of my friends made some joke about me needing a dick appointment and i made a joke back about how i needed to be eaten out, kissed and hugged along with the 'dick appointment' and my friend asks if its in that order and i said yes. I jokingly told Steve that we have a new plan for the weekend and he said yes. a second later he says something about how he was gonna say something else but now wasn't going to. Me and my other friend, who I'll call Toby, pestered him about it for a bit until he dmed me telling me it had to be in that order cause he liked eating his cum out of me. 

I screenshotted it and showed it to Toby and we laughed about it for a bit. This isn't the first time I've screenshotted something and sent it to my friend, and Steve knows that. 

Toby jokingly called my boyfriend a freak (which I often do myself, as it’s sort of an inside joke because of the things he’s into.) He then added that he bets Steve would like getting kicked in the balls too, which we both found funny and that prompted me to ask my boyfriend if he’s into it. He immediately knew that I’m asking him to just send it to Toby, but I reassured him that it would stay between us. After a bit of going back and forth between me asking him if he’d be into it and him asking why that’s important, I eventually lied and admitted that I’d like to kick him in the balls just to get an answer out of him. (Btw Toby said that I should just say that *I* want to do it, so that Steve would actually admit if he’s into it or not) Steve was a bit surprised but then he said he’s into CBT. I had no idea how to respond to that, to which Steve got even more suspicious that I’m trying to play a joke on him. I said that’s not true and that I love him and from there on our conversation went a different way. Meanwhile, me and Toby were laughing about it through our DMs, but it was nothing with mean intent. Toby and I joke like that all the time!

Later on, the next day, Steve and I were talking again and he ended up saying something about how if he ever does this one thing, he wanted me to cut his dick off as a joke. The entire message was longer, so I screenshotted it and sent it to the group chat, but I scribbled out the entire message except for when it said “I want you to cut my dick off.” as a joke. Toby and I laughed about it in the groupchat, Steve called me a dick and i jokingly said something like ‘nuh uh, you're into CBT” cause i thought it was obvious everyone else would take it as a joke and toby ended up saying something about how “after yesterday’s conversation, i'm not surprised.” While this conversation was going on, Steve was DMing me telling me to go suck a dick and I said I would go suck one that wasn't his and he told me to have fun. This is also normal for us, to say i was gonna go get fucked by someone else cause then he’d usually fuck the shit out of me and then afterwards we reassure each other that we love eachother and only each other. It's  a sex thing not a toxic thing or something. He wasn't responding back like he normally would and in the moment i thought it was just him pretending to be mad cause he’ll do that sometimes cause i find it hot, but then my friend toby said he would be worried if *his* partner started talking the way Steve was to me, but to him so i got worried and texted him asking if he was alright.

Steve told me that he’s not alright and what I did wasn’t funny. I really thought we were messing around! This wasn’t the first time either of us joked about our kinks with our friends and I thought he was playing along with it the entire time. He told me that he doesn’t find it funny that I asked him such a personal question and then I went to tell Toby and then the rest of the group chat, especially after he thought I was messing with him and I assured him I wasn’t. He told me he wasn’t mad, just hurt, and I suddenly felt really bad for joking about something like that. I explained to him that I wasn’t trying to expose him and I was just joking around. He told me it’s fine, but I still felt very guilty about it, so much so that I began profusely apologizing and even crying at some point because I knew I fucked up real bad. I didn’t feel like I deserved his forgiveness, but he tried reassuring me that I shouldn’t feel so upset about it and that things like that happened all the time. I’m not sure if I could ever forgive myself for making him upset with a joke, but I know that he’s a very forgiving person and he won’t hold it against me even if he was upset.

btw the whole dick appointment joke was cause toby was talking about how he thought i had audhd and i said i needed a therapist then our friends jack said the whole dick appointment thing

ALSO can you tag this with ‼️ /nf just so i can find it later ^^

What are these acronyms?

[lemotmo]

Hopefully they listen to her warning 😬

Q. Wait all of you are saying it's never been like this before is that true? Have Oliver and Ryan really never acted this way?

Q. Yeah that video was not okay. People still haven't let Lou live down a joke he was scripted to tell. Glad we forced him to remove the video.

Q. I love you, Ali, but I think they are absolutely trolling them. Kenny, Oliver and Ryan knew exactly what they were doing and the Lou people played right into Kenny's hand. They're too new to understand how maniacal Kenny is 😅

A. Okay I included one of their asks because they actually believe they're the reason Kenny deleted the video. Okay Tommy people I'm going to take a moment to be nicer to you than you deserve because you have no idea how dangerous of a game you're about to start with Kenny. Do not, I repeat, do not be stupid enough to think you all can turn your claws on Kenny and he will take the Oliver and Ryan route of just blocking you. He won't. He will absolutely passive aggressively destroy you in content. He is the definition of chaos. He enjoyed every bit of the reaction that video got. He deleted it because it accomplished what he wanted. He deliberately didn't post it to his stories, like he usually does, because he wanted it to be found. He wanted it to be searchable. He lives to torture people. The overwhelming majority of the comments were positive. The overwhelming majority. People got the joke. And the people who didn't get it (pretended not to get it I should say) were the people he knew wouldn't get it, and those people gave him exactly what he wanted. It's one of the reasons why I'm pretty sure Lou hasn't been on set. Because Kenny is absolutely the one who would make sure to get him in the background somehow just to watch the meltdown. It's what he does. You will not beat him. And yesterday proves Oliver and Ryan are more than willing to join him. Don't start a fight that will only embarrass and alienate you further. And not that it needs repeating but you also know the scripted joke for Lou was never the problem. The joke wasn't the problem. The timing of it and the placement of it within the context of that particular episode was the problem. Everyone has been quite clear about that.

To the other anons, no Oliver and Ryan have never been like this. But we don't know that this isn't how they would have been if fox had allowed it. One of the things that the BTS stuff from last year and so far this year proves is that fox obviously muzzled the two of them. It explains why neither of them ever seemed comfortable talking about Buddie. They clearly weren't allowed to engage. For whatever reason fox wanted no part of the Oliver/Ryan or Buddie show. ABC has decidedly embraced both, and it has worked out splendidly for ABC. And Oliver and Ryan are both now merrily following Kenny right down the chaos path. As for the articles I keep getting asked about most of them have been legitimate. But what's most interesting about them is they're all worded fairly closely which means they were given a direction from someone. They have all used the word 'shift' in the framing of their articles. One or two using similar phrasing happens so that could be explained away, all of them using similar language usually indicates they got a release of some kind from the show or studio. The two jurnos who cover the show full-time clearly got some kind of directive because their stories came out on the same day and were identical in nature. We don't have anything definitive, anons, but everything that is happening now has never happened before. That probably indicates something.

Thank you Nonny!

They should listen though, because Kenny can definitely be a bit of an online troll. LOL!

I never really considered them all using the same phrasing. That's definitely something to look out for.

EDIT: When Ali speaks about 'articles', she actually means the tweets from those two journalists. She explains it better here.

Again a very interesting post Ali. Thanks!

IMPORTANT! Please don't repost this ask and/or a link that leads straight to my Tumblr account on Twitter or any other social media. Thank you!

Heads up! For anyone who is giving me the shifty eyes for reposting Ali's updates instead of reblogging. Read this.

Remember, no hate in comments, reblogs or inboxes. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.

If you are interested in more of Ali’s posts, you can find all of her posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.

[kishiar-la-orr]

in defense of first game kishiar,

turning is a finely crafted story. kuyu makes sure to ground every single one of their characters to the world that they live in, the world the story happens in.

today (as always) i am gonna talk about kishiar, but more specifically kishiar and his relationship to mortality, recontextualizing the things he did in the first game and all. super special humongous gigantic thanks to @kouraissant for helping me with this and bearing with my nonstop kishiar and mortality thoughts!

a lot of the things i'll be talking about also involves a degree of personal experiences and maybe a healthy dash of self-projection. as a disclaimer, you don't have to agree with me on anything and everything, but i'd rather some of the more personal parts to not be responded to rudely or unkindly. i will not tolerate that, sorry.

usual kishiar & mortality tw: canonical suicide attempt discussion, canonical self-harm, canonical death. be wary of spoilers.

1TL = first game/pre-regression/first timeline 2TL = second game/post-regression/second timeline

kishiar is a really fascinating character and his relationship with mortality moreso. a lot of the things that kishiar does, in my opinion, is very much colored by his circumstances growing up, specifically being born with the knowledge that second, third, etc. imperial children tend to be die young as if having 'major defects' be it physical or mental (ch 109) and ended up having no power, remaining unmarried and bowing their heads their whole lives (ch 14).

that is to say, all his life, he surely knows he can die quickly and easily, almost anytime. it's true that for everyone, death does come suddenly, but in kishiar la orr's life, death is like a childhood friend you don't like but are forced to get along with. again, this colors his whole life. this is the kind of circumstances that forces you to mature really quickly, to learn to be expressive and speak your thoughts like it's your last day, but to also learn to hold your tongue and bow down your head because you're a prince and your words still have consequences beyond normal children's would. you're forced to accept that this is the kind of life you will live and the kind of death you'll be documented as. by all accounts, i think that the current kishiar is really good at managing social situations however tricky they are, the fact that he's a rizzmaster, part of all those also comes from being used to having to process things quickly because you don't have the time to even live, being used to having to be expressive because god knows when your last day will be.

given all that as a background information, let's reexamine the conditions of 1TL.

i'd like to first point out that in 1TL, the very health and life expectancy that he used to not have pre-awakening was already given to kishiar during the awakening. i'm not too privy yet with the circumstances during the two years since the fall of the red stone to the cavalry recruitment in early canon, unfortunately, but i'll assume it was also time spent preparing and not just in silence, maybe even preparing for the cavalry to be created or searching for a cure for keilusa as well (though this is just personal theory). even so, two years really isn't that much time? soon after his awakening and tasting good health and better life expectancy the first time in his life, 1TL red stone retrieval mission happened, which forced kishiar to withdraw the divine sword without him meaning to and regained him the same vessel issues he's always experienced his whole life, basically bringing him back to square one after giving him the one thing he's always wanted his whole life. it's like the universe telling him: "look at everything you could have once had. endless possibilities. none of them are yours. not anymore."

to me, after at least 600+ chapters of reading, kishiar's character's basis is his loved ones. almost all of his actions can be traced back to him doing it in alignment with the position he has (being a prince and a duke) and out of the love he has for nathan, keilusa, and other people in his life. to be brought back to square one, struggling once again with the same old vessel issues, except worse this time, because many of the past imperial children didn't even make it to age thirty (ch 109) while he was already 29 and he almost died once already because of this very same thing.

expanding on his past experience with vessel issues and his response to it, from chapter 602 and chapter 160, likely kishiar's condition was so bad he might as well be almost dead before the timely awakening happened and immediately was followed by his second gender manifestation. he probably thought it was for real his death happening, not a surprise. he cleared off everyone and attempted suicide by touching the divine sword. that he cleared off everyone can also be argued as a selfless action, wanting to keep the smallest person possible to witness his impending doom, in order to save his loved ones from the heartache of seeing him suffer, try to kill himself and/or die.

it can also however be seen as selfish. after all, who is it that loves you and wants you to kill yourself?

this is where we will have to reiterate some points: kishiar is someone who's good at processing and expressing emotions. he's also good at knowing how to hold back and when to hold back from expressing said emotions. he's also someone who is logical and reasonable. and i also want to introduce some new points, that is: the universal fact that a lot of mental strain and generally bad mental health often cause irrationality in people, even someone who's perceived as reasonable or someone who's good at emotions. spiralling is called spiralling for a reason.

from the point of view of reason, leaving your cavalry commander mantle to the hyper-competent guy you happen to love to death, watching him get inaugurated, constantly visiting him, and of course, the pethuamet fight (which yuder 2TL classified as kishiar self-harming) are all illogical. kishiar's 1TL actions cannot be called reasonable or logical because they aren't. they are irrational the same way you and i get irrational when we're in extreme emotional duress. can anyone really claim to be logical when the threat of death looms so closely you can't even see it clearly anymore?

let's talk about some more things, like how the commander uniform he personally tailored for yuder (ch 625) is seen as yuder as unnecessary. logistically speaking, it really is unnecessary, it's not like yuder needed a new uniform when he can just wear kishiar's old ones and it'd probably just need some adjusting to fit better? but then it is explicitly stated by 2TL kishiar as 'hoping the person will wear them and think about the person who made it.' (ch 626)

also on the same conversation, 2TL kishiar stated that the strongest fear he has ever felt was during the late emperor's funeral, the feeling of being powerless, how frightening it was to look at the reality in front of him while he could only imagine what would happen to him, keilusa and the country in the future (ch 625). and in chapter further back, he also stated that in the tactical game, in the event that his special piece is almost caught by the enemy before he can use it, he would 'take the initiative and put it out as a bait in front of the enemy' (ch 105).

it paints a picture of this: it's not that he wants to do all these things, it's that who knows how to deal with death and the mental strain that comes with it when there are no actionable steps you can take, nothing under your control? he has a history of harming himself too, as i said, with the suicide attempt. in kishiar's case, the self-harm and the manifestation/post-awakening incident when he tried to kill himself, everything feels a bit more like struggling to feel a semblance of control in a world that is out of his control, when even his body feels out of his control all his life.

really, all of the things that can be deemed illogical, like ruining his relationships with everyone just so they feel less pain when he dies or like selfishly leaving yuder a legacy to care for or constantly visiting yuder even after his retirement, it stems from the selfish and very human desires of wanting to keep the loved ones near while he has time, trying to wrestle for a semblance of control, trying to leave anything useful at all that is within his capacity to give towards his loved ones for when after he's gone, grappling with all of the complicated emotions and love and care he has that he can't even act on. it's made even more complicated when you remember that kishiar isn't even suicidal originally. he's like this because of the circumstances thrusted upon his hands, he's only driven to that point because maybe he too doesn't want to die a dogshit death.

the upside is just because it's illogical doesn't mean it's treated callously or looked down upon. 1TL kishiar's actions are written beautifully by kuyu and never in a negative light. yuder himself has gripes about 1TL kishiar, but never outright insulted or downplayed his influences. if anything, the way yuder thinks of 1TL kishiar's actions, especially after knowing the imperial family's vessel issues, is very sympathetic (ch 293). in the words of our friend baby potat aloo,

like: look at this man trying to wrangle with his own tragic fate as best as he can while people he cares about most and people who care about him are unfortunately subjected to the pain of passively spectating his self-destructive ways of trying to gain some semblance of control (thinking of nathan and uuder) and/or secretive plans that seem like the 'best' choice in his opinion. nonetheless it's still about love.

that has been a long discussion over kishiar and mortality, kishiar and his loved ones as the basis of his motivation for every action. but let's not forget to talk about yuder, the one he has an almost-electric connection, deep and soulful, to. in a way, chapter 291's kishiar dialogue line "i feel like i can live now" can be seen as something he says out of love for yuder, because yuder is one of his loved ones, one of the ones he treasures the most. but also you can see it as another control thing. he's there out of his own accord, he came there through the window without being seen out of his own choice and yuder always 'tolerated' the situation, never reporting it. we can argue these are games and rendezvous they both consented to.

next, let's discuss: this is what he said in chapter 46, right before his death:

"...I wonder where it all went wrong. Thinking about it, it seems like it was when we retrieved the Red Stone." "..." "Yes... That's right. It must have been then that everything started going wrong. But even knowing that, I couldn't stop it. Because I had no other choice."

it rings so much of hopelessness, of someone who can't do anything but imagine a universe where the only thing he wanted in life was ripped away from him the moment it was bestowed. and then immediately dismissing it because it doesn't matter when it's already happened and the only thing he can do now is, just like the dukes before him, bow down his head and await for his death.

in later chapters, we also come to know that he cleared off the entire building and it was nearing his birthday when the assassination took place. we can also argue that this is euthanasia or assisted suicide, the executioner and helper is the one kishiar loves the most, who doesn't even really want to kill him. rather than a dogshit death he didn't choose, 1TL kishiar arranged it so that he dies in yuder's hands, knowing that it'd change his relationship with someone he loved so much, to die like a euthanised dog, spared the pain of unattainable hopes. in a way, it's a curse on yuder's memories, good or bad, of him, in a way, it's an act of making yourself an open wound. this too isn't rational, similarly to the way he leaves a personalized clothing for yuder's inauguration and new status as the cavalry commander or the way he gave him a name, this is a way of leaving behind a legacy, a desperate act of wanting to be remembered by his loved ones.

so, what's the point of all of this? nothing, i'm just a kishiar shooter. but also, everything. because the miscommunication in 1TL isn't one that can be so easily solved by speaking up. it's something that's integral to the story plotline, caused by the story circumstances, it's a testament too to how good kuyu's writing is and the complexity of kishiar as a character. it is, unfortunately, not as simple as just say you love him before you die. that is my conclusion.

some more unrelated, but perhaps also fun points:

i truly think, like a true self sabotage, kishiar's actions as an attempt to feel some semblance of control only works against him, making him feel more powerless and out of control

also this is for sure why he's so invested in healing keilusa

to another degree, cavalry in 2TL becomes his purpose and one of the major factors of his identity (the way it was to yuder 1TL, which is a discussion for another time), so in 1TL, stepping down could arguably also be seen as a loss of both authority/power and responsibility, leading to an even more 'out of control' feeling, even if he was indeed the one to step down out of his own accord, like no one forced him

1TL yuder was looked down on as a male omega leader, not man nor woman, commonborn cavalry commander who slept his way up. a lot of the things he did, even down to his fighting style, was also, to a certain point, a way of fighting for power, to look powerful and gain authority and be feared, if not respected. at the same time, kishiar didn't die instantly. he committed a lot of actions (as said earlier) that felt more like a grappling with control, which is just another form of power/authority. in a way, you can see these two foiling each other at the moment, struggling with power over how ppl perceive you (yuder) vs struggling with power over how you perceive yourself (kishiar). which is also funny because turning is also a story about power to me, what-with the catalyst to all of canon's plot being the red stone, which granted power to the people living in turning's canon universe

thanks for reading!

[dcficrecs]

I'm a Good Pretender

By on shipNslash on AO3

I just finished the first chapter of this, so my apologies if the rest of the fic isn't as good, but the last line of the first chapter was actually so genius I had to share. Minor spoilers for how Dick finds out Bruce is Batman, I guess. Although everyone knows that he does find out eventually, so the only spoiler is how. In this scene, Batman is interrogating Tony Zucco's old cellmate. He refuses to talk and Batman just knocks him out.

The whimpering tapers off until it's just blubbering and then nothing but unconscious breathing. Batman drops him with a sigh, stopping only to zip tie his hands to his apartment radiator.

What a waste of his time-

Creak.

Batman freezes, melting into the shadows out of instinct more than any sort of training. He peeks around the corner, ready for- for…

For anything but that.

Crawling in through the seventh story apartment window is a young Richard Grayson, dark jeans and black hoodie the only thing separating him from the glittering Gotham backdrop of flickering street lamps and red and blue sirens. He pads across the creaky floor on silent feet and stops only when he sees the unconscious resident.

The boy mutters something in an unfamiliar language but it's clearly a swear.

Bruce, never one to waste a dramatic entrance, steps forward a foot. "It's a little late to be out of bed, Richard Grayson," he whispers, voice still as loud as a gunshot in the silence.

"Câcat!" To his credit, when the kid jumps three feet in the air, he lands without a sound. Even more impressively, he doesn't have any other reaction besides for dropping a hand almost imperceptibly into his pocket- a weapon? "Holy fuck. You're Batman."

He cocks his head to the side, trying to get a clearer shot with his contacts. "Yes. How’d you scale seven flights of an exposed building?”

"I’m good at climbing,” the boy says dismissively. “You know my name. Why?" Chin tilted back, eyes a bright splash of anger in the dark- Richard is more confident in this moment than Bruce Wayne has ever been in his entire life.

Instead of answering, Batman nudges the man between them with his boot. "I know it's not a coincidence that you're here. What was your plan?" He's burning with curiosity.

"I- I was going to make him tell me where Tony Zucco is. I know he killed my parents and the last person he associated with was this piece of shit." Richard sounds angry. Fascinating. "What'd you do? He’s not dead, is he?"

"I don't kill people, Richard."

"Stop saying my fucking name unless you tell me how you know it."

Bold.

"Your face has been in the news a lot lately. I've been trying to solve your case."

The kid seems to crumple. "...why? The police obviously don't give a shit."

"That's not true. It's not exactly police procedure to discuss the details of a double homicide with the couple’s orphaned eleven year old." Bruce almost winces -that wasn't good socializing- but Batman doesn't care about those types of things so, for now, neither does Bruce.

Richard doesn't seem to care either. "First I'm going to catch him and then I'm going to kill him. And if you think anything is going to stop me, you're not as smart as they say," he spits out.

Bruce almost laughs, if only in disbelief. Who is this kid?

Instead, he pages Gordon with the address. There's usually an officer patrolling this block. "Listen, kid-"

"Dick."

"Excuse me?"

"My name." God, Bruce feels like he's looking in a mirror. For all that the boy doesn't look anything like an eleven year old Bruce Wayne, that burning rage is achingly familiar. "Nobody in this stupid fucking city might care about me, but I have a name and it's not Richard," he spits like a swear. "It's Dick. Dick Grayson."

Okay, now you know how he met Batman. Here's how he met Bruce (The second time, anyway. The first is at the circus, after his parents' murders). And for context, Miss Lopez is Dick's social worker. More context is that Alfred met with Dick at the orphanage and said that Bruce offered to buy Dick's parents' trailer and all their belongings and give it to Dick whenever he was ready.

Carefully pulling on a more refined accent (Mama loves southern France, she thinks their dialect is ‘fancy’), he jerks to his feet and gasps. “Mister Pennyworth! You came!”

“I told you I would,” the old man says simply, pushing the door all the way open.

And behind him stands-

“Do you remember Mister Wayne, Richard?”

Dick almost collapses under the weight of-

Strong arms, wrestling him to the ground. “Don’t look. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Just don’t look.”

So, yeah, maybe he’s off his game a little, but the first thing that pops out of Dick’s mouth is, “you don’t look like a billionaire.”

Mister Pennyworth laughs in a distinctly British way while said billionaire makes a face that Dick would hazard to describe as a pout. “It’s early,” he mumbles, shoving his pale hands into the pouch of his hoodie.

Aw hell, Dick thinks and suddenly feels guilty. Even though he really shouldn't because it’s true. He’s dressed like a homeless person, layers of old clothes and mismatched aesthetics, and he even has a ratty backpack over his shoulders. Shouldn’t a billionaire have someone to carry his stuff for him?

They’re saved from the awkwardness by Miss Lopez, who sweeps into the room in her usual chaotic way, her stupidly big bag overflowing with all the stuff she never seems to need.

She doesn’t even acknowledge the two men already in the room. “Really, Richard? Again?” She asks, sounding so tired.

“I’m sorry,” Dick whimpers. (He’s not). “I won’t do it again, Miss Lopez, I swear!” (He will.)

He watches her deflate. “Oh, Richard. What am I supposed to do now?”

“Can’t I just go back to-”

“Please don’t bring up the circus again-”

“But it’s where I belong-”

Mister Wayne interrupts, his voice painfully quiet. (Mama says enunciation makes the difference between talking and speaking.) “I'll take him.”

…what?

Dick and Miss Lopez both freeze. She just now seems to realize that they’re not alone and Dick can pinpoint the exact moment she recognizes who’s standing in front of her.

“Oh my god. You’re- Oh my god. Hello, Mister Wayne!” She gushes, the hand not holding up her stupidly big bag reaching up to swipe at her hair.

Mister Wayne doesn’t exactly look like the type of person to judge someone for a bad hair day but even Dick feels the urge to fidget under the weirdly intense stare. He knows better, though, and keeps himself perfectly still while Miss Lopez and Mister Pennyworth start talking about things like state certified foster homes and mandatory wait periods and generous donations.

He follows along with that side of the conversation with perfect ease. People with enough money can do whatever they want and Mister Wayne has ‘more money than God’ according to the cop who brought him in. The only thing he doesn’t understand is…

“Why?” He asks when there’s a lull in the conversation.

Intense eyes lock onto him. “Hm?”

“Why are you offering to help me?” Dick asks. He knows he’s blowing his act. The optimistic orphan would never look a gift horse in the mouth. But he just doesn’t get it. “You don’t even know me.”

Mister Wayne shifts so that he’s facing Dick head on instead of Miss Lopez and Mister Pennyworth, who are looking over a thick legal document. “You don’t have to. I’ll still help in any way I can. If you'd rather try a different foster home, I'll pay for a lawyer,” he murmurs and Dick gets the impression that this is more talking than Mister Wayne has done in a long time.

To be fair, he seems harmless. Dick doubts he’s a pervert or something. There are plenty of less famous orphans he could have snatched up if all he wants is to cop a feel. And he definitely isn’t a good actor, so this has to be at least a little genuine.

When Dick doesn’t answer, Mister Wayne sighs and crouches so that they’re almost eye level. He’s very tall and Dick is very not tall, okay? And he doesn’t say any stupid shit either, like ‘I’m sorry for your loss’ or ‘how are you doing?’ that everyone else seems so insistent on. Instead, he pulls an envelope out of his backpack and offers it to Dick wordlessly..

“Um. Thanks.” Dick takes it, checking to make sure that Miss Lopez isn’t watching before opening it-

Holy fucking shit.

Mama and Papa’s faces smile back at him, a chubby cheeked Dick balancing on their shoulders in front of the Eiffel Tower.

This time, the tears in his eyes are real. “Mister Wayne…”

“I want to help, Dick,” he whispers.

There’s a long list of thoughts running through Dick’s head right now.

He’d somehow forgotten that Mister Wayne has his parent’s trailer. He wants to kiss the picture of his family, safely sealed inside of a little plastic bag. He knows that he’s going to juvie. He knows that Mister Wayne is his best chance at getting out of juvie. He knows it’ll be way easier to sneak out of some big mansion than it will be to break out of a detention center. He knows that Tony Zucco is still alive and roaming free.

But all he can think about is the fact that he’s only told one person in this god forsaken city his real name and it was Batman. So why did Bruce fucking Wayne just call him Dick?

Literally holy shit. I love obscure details that the reader can miss, sometimes is supposed to miss, becoming important later on. I sure as hell missed it.

This fic is good so far, but one thing I know I don't like is the tags saying that Dick's parents were slightly abusive. That's just too out of character for them for me. But I am really into any 'Dick Grayson becoming Robin' fics right now, so I'm trying not to be picky. If this fic does end up being good despite that, I'll probably post more excerpts here.

[fuckyeah-beringandwellsfics]

Hi! I'm not new to Myka and Helena, I remembered them from the 2010s and now watched the show just for them, but I am new to Myka and Helena fanfiction.

Do you know any more fics like this https://archiveofourown.org/works/957200?view_adult=true or vaguely like this?

Is there a big masterlist of good Myka and Helena fics? I've been reading through their tag on AO3, but there are 1600+ fics 😯 so it'll take me a while to read them. I'd like to read some good ones.

Hi and thank you for asking, anon! That fic is great, isn't it! (clickable version of the written-out link anon sent: Resigned to These Histories (We Exist) by journaliar/@snake-juice)

Anon, as far as I am aware, there is no *one* big masterlist.

Several people in this fandom have made their own rec lists over time, of course, from the very beginning. (The older they are, unfortunately, the higher the chance that some links might not work anymore, but you can still try them out!) I have a "fic rec" tag on my main blog (linked in case you want to know the source; that tag contains other fics too, not just Bering and Wells, but all of them femslash), and here are some Bering and Wells specific lists that I've found going through it:

styrofoamtokyo's list, from 2014

tracybering's list of Tracy Bering friendly fics and art, also from 2014

lonely-night's lists from 2017 and 2018

wibblywobblyida's list from 2021

There's also the Ballet AU, a collaboration with multiple fics and pieces of art, from several of this fandom's best authors and artists; highly recommended, masterpost here.

I'm sure there are more fic rec lists slumbering on people's blogs! So here's my call to anyone who sees this post: please link yours!

I myself am trying to assemble recs on an individual basis. Almost a year ago, I tried to make a list of what has been already recommended through this post, but now that is way out of date, of course.

Beyond these lists, the usual tips for AO3 and Tumblr apply (under a readmore for length):

when you found a fic you liked, click on the author's name and see what else they've written for the ship/fandom, see if you like those too

check if that author's bookmarks are public; those are fics that they liked, and maybe you'll like them too

and then with those fics, you can go to *those* authors' profiles and see what else *they* have written - and so on.

Don't forget to bookmark and/or download these fics so that you can find them again. You need to have a user profile yourself to bookmark fics (and that's not the only advantage; I highly recommend it - and remember, you can set your bookmarks to private if you want).

also, please please consider leaving kudos and comments on fics that you've liked - a lot of authors are still active in the fandom/for the ship, and kudos and comments always help us *stay* active, because they tell us that people still enjoy what we create. Even if the specific fic in question is from the early days of the fandom, kudos and comments are always welcome.

same goes for reblogs on Tumblr, be it the above lists, individual fic rec posts, or posts from the authors themselves with or about their stories.

some authors with a Tumblr blog also have a dedicated "my fics" tag or link on those blogs. Always worth clicking through from an individual Tumblr post to the author's blog, and seeing if something like that is on it - and if the author is still actively writing, consider giving them a follow (and reblogging their fic posts; I've heard from so many authors that their fic posts barely get any reblogs at all to spread the word)

I hope that all or at least some of these tips are helpful to you, Anon - there is a lot of great stuff out there, and you're right, it can be a bit daunting to figure out where to start. And hey, it's always okay to click back out of a fic you find you don't like. No harm no foul, even if the fic came recommended; everyone's taste is different! There is no "required reading" that you *have* to have done to be a fan. You already are, no matter how many fics you've read!

[moonswolfie]

Could we get Bokuto and 19? 🥺🥺🥺

Bokuto x gn!reader

But ofc!! Idk if u knew this nonnie but bokuto is my favourite boyo💕💕 i'm always happy to write about him🥰🥰

Time to prove to him that even his faults can be loved😤

His teammates often tell him that he's too loud, childish and irresponsible. He always feels compelled to deny it, but his teachers say the same thing. Even his parents scold him for that sometimes.

So then it must be true, no matter how much he defends himself.

In volleyball, being too loud isn't much of a problem and even excites the crowd a lot, but something like math class is a different story.

"Honey, you're too childish and irresponsible for a relationship." His mom hummed from behind the kitchen counter when hearing Bokuto whine to himself about still being single. All she got in reply was a sad groan.

Do these parts of him make him that horrible? He already had a bad day at practice today and then the boys basketball club leader decided to taunt him about still being single. Being reminded of his "bad traits" wasn't helping in the slightest.

He slowly got up, going into his room to sulk.

"I think that was too harsh, darling. You know how he is, he'll take your words to heart." His dad worriedly glanced at his mom while chopping the vegetables.

"You're right, I should have phrased that better..."

.

So he found it quite surprising when one day you, one of his classmates, approached him out of nowhere during a break.

"Hey, ummm, I'm in your class, but we don't know eachother very well." You started, fiddling with your fingers. It took a lot of convincing from your friends to even get you here, but there's no way back now.

"OOOH! I remember you!! You sit in the second row!!" He had no idea what you wanted, but it was always nice to talk to someone new.

"So, I'd like to get to know you better..." you looked into his eyes with hope. From what little you did know about Bokuto, he was very outgoing and excitable. So hopefully this goes well.

His eyes widened. "Eh? I mean, yeah, sure!! Of course!!" His face quickly returned to his usual excited expression.

"So!! I'm the coolest ace of the coolest volleyball club in Japan!! But you probably already knew that..." he started. What a cute self-introduction.

"Yeah, I went to your matches before..." you really hoped that your blush wasn't showing too much at that moment.

"REALLY?!"

.

After that day, you made it a habit to talk to him. He got to know many things he would have never guessed about you and his smile grew every day as your initial shyness dissapeared.

He grew increasingly close to you, to the point even his teammates pointed it out. He never noticed how he acts "different" around you.

But now that he thinks about it, he keeps reminding himself to speak more quietly and watch his mouth around you. That's quite strange, since he prefers to be his unfiltered self and tries not to be bothered by what others say.

Then why is he being subconsciously careful only around you, a person who never voiced their discomfort for his loudness or irresponsibility?

"Honey, you're too childish and irresponsible for a relationship."

No way.

Those words replayed in his head over and over. There's no way he's actually in love with you, right? You're just so amazing and beautiful and- UGH!

But if what everyone around him says is right, then that means he has zero chances with you, right? Ohhh, this is making him feel all sorts of sick...

Maybe google can fix this.

"Hey, bro. Come to dinne- What are you doing?" his sister's reaction shifted to one of worry when she found him laying on the bed, staring at the volleyball in his hands with a strangely solemn expression. Googling "how to get rid of your crush" did nothing for him since he doesn't want to distance himself from you.

"...Nothing."

"Are you having one of those mood swings again?" his sister sighed. "Come on, just come eat." she pulled him off the bed and he silently joined her for dinner. His family didn't question him all that much, already being used to his often times unstable mood.

Besides, they figured he needed space. Usually, a little "you're awesome" would work well in brightening his mood but instead of cheering up as he usually does he just hummed sadly, contuinuing to shovel at his food.

He himself hadn't expected those feelings to hit him like a truck. First love was supposed to be a cute, sweet, uplifting feeling...

.

"Hey, umm, Koutaro, I have to tell you something... Can you come with?" you asked one day out of the blue. The two of you were already on a first name basis, surprisingly you really clicked with him. Which made his little crush all the more bothersome.

He kept stuttering over his sentences when you smiled at him so sweetly, his heart swelling at the little things you remembered about him.

If only he wasn't so annoying and childish...

"I- Uh, sure!" he let you lead him off to a more private area, wondering what awaits him. You sounded nervous, like back when you first asked to get to know him. This could only mean something bad, right?! Or is he just overthinking it?

Since when does he do that, anyways?

"So... I kind of have a crush on you..." you looked down, too afraid to meet his eyes, missing the way his eyebrows raised and eyes blew wide.

"YOU LIKE ME?! You really like... me?" he almost couldn't believe his ears.

"Uhh, yeah.. I do." you yourself were a little surprised at his response. You thought for sure that Bokuto would just get really hyped and accept. Well, if he liked you too in the first place.

"Even though I'm loud? And childish? And irresponsible?" he asked in quick succession. What? How would those characteristics of his affect your feelings for him?

"Of course? I like you, even the less favourable parts." you smile at him happily. You think you know why he brought that up now. Judging by the amount of times the teachers scold him for those very things, he must think they're an annoyance and a hinderance to you.

You misjudged him, it seems. He lets things get to him more than you thought. Not that that's an issue at all.

"Ohhh, this might be my second favourite feeling in the world..." he said, relief evident in his tone as he hugged you tightly.

"Only second favourite?" you questioned, hugging him back.

"The first one will always belong to the feeling of a successful spike, of course!!" he squeezed you so hard you thought your bones might break.

"S-So, is that a-"

"Yes, yes!! A million times yes!! I'll be your boyfriend, your husband, your f- ANYTHING!"

oops i accidentally made it mutual pining and WAY too long bo bo tends to have that effect on me🌚

[alexxncl]

‼️NIGHTBRINGER HDD CH. 2 SPOILERS‼️

masterlist | events | ch. 1 | ch. 3

leave it to me to make everything angsty

i'm a mammon shooter til i die

all he wants is to be rich (obv) and appreciated by his brothers :(

it seems as though he feels like they see him as a joke or as someone they can't look up to. like yes he's immature at times and a bit of an airhead but he means well. most of the time. but even still, he's a good big brother. i wish the devs touched on that side of him more, and i wish his brothers expressed their appreciation towards him in a way that isn't immediately followed by either a backhanded compliment or an outright insult

like yes, it's clear they love him and he loves them. but it's gotta be exhausting on both ends, especially if you're on the receiving end and constantly being (sometimes affectionately) shit on as someone who's already doubtful of their significance to their family and friends' lives

i'm lowkey surprised it was just levi and not lucifer there too...maybe it's bc he knows he's lucifer's favorite deep down and doesn't need it to be reiterated in his ideal world

attic club sandwich...get it? cuz you're sandwiched between...but also...

...i'm sorry. moving on

NEVERMIND NO MOVING ON WHY ARE THEY BOOTY BUTTERBALL ASS NAKED ????? i get that beel loves having his titties out but i did nawt need to be jumpscared like that

satan vehemently denying asmo being his favorite brother and then asmo appearing first in his dream world is PEAK sibling shit

i love them

also asmo's little bow having a mix of pink and green in his ideal world ??? reminiscent of asmo painting his nails pink and green for satan irl ???? SOBS the brothers ever

and lucifer also being there :((((

oh baby 😭 him and mams really just want acceptance and the ability to indulge in what makes them happy

"i couldn't be more proud" :((((( he's already proud of you

i wanna kiss him on the forehead and tell him he's doing a great job

PLEASEEEEEE not luci just wants to fuck on peace 😭 are we sure asmo's the avatar of lust bc lucifer is always on demon time (no pun intended)

like he's arguably the horniest out of all of them.

"business as usual" is a CRAZY thing to say when witnessing a dream of propositioning and borderline foreplay in front of your man's brother /hj

fym "hush-hush" ?? horny yandere type shit. doesn't he have any other friends ??? /j

ig sorcerers can be on demon time too. we love to see it

i hate an ass kissing tsundere...BE UPFRONT

it makes me sad that the only interactions we have with them are side stories or hard lessons or devilgram, like just make them a part of the main cast atp. the devs have to know that everyone wants it

my beloved girlfriend giving me advice for a long journey

MAKE HER DATEABLE OR SO HELP ME

oh :(

simeon makes me so sad. so unbelievably sad. i just want him to be happy

ik he regrets not falling with the brothers, and he beats himself up about it constantly. it's why he helped them during the war. i already went on a tangent about his struggle to pick a side before the war here but GOD it still hurts reading this

barbatos' ideal world revolving around diavolo is unsurprising, but also very telling of his character. he's so focused on everything and everyone around him, making sure space-time stays stable, that he doesn't have time to think about anything but that. not even when it pertains to himself and his happiness

barbatos' happiness revolves around fulfilling his duties as butler/subordinate, but also making sure he stays sane long enough to ensure that the instability and semi unpredictability of time itself doesn't prevent diavolo's wishes from coming true

[notmorbid]

the story of a new name, pt. 1.

dialogue prompts from the story of a new name by elena ferrante.

you were born twisted.

i'm not capable of loving anyone like that.

all i know is how to get along with books.

swear you won't ever leave me alone.

it's very true that i don't understand you.

what you do, i do. you can't leave me behind.

why didn't you tell me you were back?

i didn't want you to see me.

we've been wrong about everything.

politics is ugly, but it's important for making money.

i understood, and i didn't understand.

you look the way you do when you're happy.

there are things you know that can't be said.

a bet is a bet, and you lost.

i have an emptiness inside me that weighs me down.

i know i have to resign myself, but i just can't do it.

i see no reason for resignation and no beauty.

things without meaning are the most beautiful ones.

lucky you. you've got everything that counts.

your mother will be angry.

i will always make life difficult for you.

you said goodbye to everyone but me.

you're a pain in the ass, but when you do a thing, you do it right.

you're not yourself anymore. what happened to you?

i've always known you were dangerous.

why do you always want to be a pain in the ass?

what newspaper do you read?

is it clear what i've got myself into?

i don't like what i've done, and what i'm doing.

touch me and you'll burn.

you are wasted here.

you'll do what you want. as usual.

i always have to prove that i can be better.

don't trust me. don't trust what i say and do.

help me. stay near me.

i tell you all my secrets, even the worst.

you tell me hardly anything about yourself.

the only person i don't hide anything from is you.

i will always be your friend.

planning isn't going to change the world. it will take blood.

we should make war on war itself.

not a thought in your head is your own.

could we go for a walk?

i like talking to you.

do you think i look like my father?

there are people who leave, and people who know how to be left.

stay. you can leave tomorrow morning.

i'm afraid of being alone.

you couldn't even say hello?

cut out your tongue.

why did you marry that moron?

you have the voice of a person who doesn't want to hurt anyone.

i don't understand what you're getting at.

why do you only show your serious side?

i'd just like a little intimacy. even if it's polite.

you think only the big questions are important.

i'm fine. i don't even know what's wrong with me.

for your whole life you love people, and you never really know who they are.

what i say counts for nothing with you.

for the whole week, all i did was think about you.

as soon as i fall asleep, i have terrible dreams, and i'm awake all night.

you're so good that sometimes you make me mad.

how stubborn you are. how courageous.

a little comfort isn't a sin.

i don't want to be here a minute longer.

we can't go back. life takes us where it wants.