#when you got no merch so you gotta make it yourself

[peachgull]

Суцільний вуж

[sun-spirals]

Hello MCSM community

[samandcolbyownme]

Summary: anon request - "Requesting for Jake (and Johnnie but it's not what you think) // Jake Johnnie and y/n go live in the car - Jake accidentally lets it slip that he was with someone - no one knew - y/n and Jake don't want anyone knowing that they're together ???  So they're scrambling to try and cover it up? Idk if that makes any sense but in my mind it does lolllll thanks"

Warnings: Fluff mainly, flirting, trying different candies, Jake and Johnnie being Jake and Johnnie, secret relationship between reader and Jake, cute, funny

Word count: little over 2k | not edited at all

╔═══━━━─── • ───━━━═══╗

As you're getting around to go do a video with Jake and Johnnie, your phone lights up. You lean over, picking up and smiling when you see Jake's name on the screen, "Hello?"

"Are you almost ready? Johnnie's getting a little impatient." Jake laughs and you can hear Johnnie in the background yelling but Jake raises his voice to cover it, "Well be there to get you in like ten minutes."

"Okay." You laugh, "I'm about ready."

"Okay. See you soon." Jake says and you agreed, "Yeah, bye." You smile as you hang up, getting ready to set your phone down, but you get a text that makes you stop.

It's from Jake, Remember, gotta keep your hands to yourself.

You smirk, setting down your brush to hold your phone with both hands, Aw, man. That's no fun. But since we're a secret, I guess I can manage.

You set your phone down, doing your finishing touches to your makeup, before you get another text from Jake, you're my favorite secret.

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

"Hey." You say as you get in the car, "Look at you sitting in the back already." You turn to look Johnnie in the backseat and he stares blankly at you, "I don't like it."

Jake sighs making his voice all weird, "Well suck it up buttercup." He laughs as he starts to drive away. You bite your lip, keeping your head forward as you try to keep your smile at bay.

When you're with Jake, you're always giddy, happy to see him. You're always wanting to hold his hand, lay your hand his arm, kiss him.

Anything to be touching him.

But you can't do that right now. You and Jake agreed to try and keep things on the low, just have some private time for as long as you can before word got out and everyone went crazy.

"We got some American candy and some candy from over yonder to compare them to." Jake pulls into the parking lot, leaning forward to check if he's up far enough.

"Over yonder as in.. where, Jake?" Johnnie asks and Jake puts the car in park before turning around to look at him, "Can you not just go with the flow for once? Do you have to know everything?"

Johnnie nods, "Yeah, I'm an anxious person."

"Here." Jake hands him a regular Kit Kat, "Eat this."

"Ooh. Candy!" Johnnie's voice goes high, almost like he's about to pull out the Timmy card and Jake sighs, "Please, Johnnie. Keep Timmy in your pants."

You cover your mouth, fighting back laughter as Jake turns around, looking over at you, "What's so funny?"

You look at him, smirking slightly as you shrug, "You're just a funny guy, Webber." He laughs, "Ah, ha. Ha. I know." He winks at you before starting the stream, "Hello. It's me."

"And me." Johnnie buts in and you lean over, "I'm here, too."

Jake smiles, "You guys get the three stooges today.  Moe. Larry. And Curly." His eyes scan over the chat, "Today, I'm going to be making y/n and Johnnie try some candy snacks from over yonder, ya know?"

You watch as he reaches back, pulling a bag from the floor behind your seat.

"Oh!" He yells kinda loud, which makes you jump, "You can get one of these bad girls." He pinches his hoodie and pulls it out, "On the merch site."

He looks back at Johnnie and scoffs, "Stop tongue fucking your Kit Kat and show them your shirt, Jesus Christ Johnnie."

Johnnie tries not to laugh, "B-but. I thought that's what we were doing?"

You roll your eyes, laughing as he leans forward, "If you want to support us in being americas favorite ladies, click the link below."

"Yes, all proceeds will go to Johnnie smelling better than a hairsprayed chicken nugget." Jake claps his hands together, cutting Johnnie off before he can say anything, "Anyway. Let's get started."

He pulls something from the bag and looks at it, "So this is a melon flavored kit from what I'm guessing is Japan? Maybe?" He hands it to you and you look at it, "Cantaloupe I think."

You shrug, opening it up, "I mean.. it smells.. okay?" You hold the open candy up to Jake's nose and he takes a big, over-exaggerated sniff, "Mm." He groans, "Melony."

"You're so fucking weird." Johnnie shakes his head and you extend your arm back, "You wanna smell it, too?"

He leans in, "I don't smell anything."

"Hmm." You pull your arm back up, breaking off one of the bars, "Here." You hand one to Jake and he takes it, "Why thank you." He takes it and bites into it and Johnnie yells, "Thanks for waiting for us you jackass."

You laugh, looking between them and Jake puts the piece he bit off back on top of the bar, "Fine, I'll just magically reattach it."

You lean forward, "Yeah." You nod as you read the chats, "They fight like a married couple."

"We do not." Both Jake and Johnnie say at the same time and you tilt your head, "Really."

"I'm not married to Johnnie because my-" Jake stops and your eyes go slightly wide, "Because your what Jake?"

Johnnie leans up, "Yeah, Jake. Is there something I should know about?"

Jake laughs and shakes his head, biting into the candy, "Fuck you guys."

"Another woman, or man, I should know about?" Johnnie is clearly joking, but he wouldn't be if he knew about the two of you.

"Alright, no. I'm not.." Jake laughs, "I give this one a three point five."

"Way to change the subject." Johnnie says and Jake looks at him, "Can you-"

Johnnie cuts him off, "Not me. The people in the screen are saying it."

You lean forward, eyes scanning down over the chat,

User1- PLEASE they're so funny

User2 - Nahhh that sounded like Jake was about to spill a secret

User3- TELL US

User4 - JAKE WEBBER WHAT ARE YOU HIDING

User5 - he has a secret girlfriend. I'm calling it right now.

User6 - Jake would have told us, so no one jump to conclusions please

User 7 - Y'all don't know that wtffff Jake Jake Jake Jake Jake Jake please

User8 - I just joined, what happened?

"Well, I'll catch you up, Jake and Johnnie are arguing over the fact that they say they aren't a married couple." You laugh as you look at Jake, then to Johnnie, "And you guys so are."

Jake rolls his eyes, "Annyywaaay."

"Anyway." You and Johnnie say at the same time, both mocking Jake. You give Jake a smile, letting him know you're low key flirting with him.

"What the fuck." Johnnie shakes his head, "There's no way that just happened. Fucking mocking me you.. mocker."

Jake rolls his eyes at Johnnie and smirks at you, "Anyway."

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

A little while later, towards the end of the stream, you're trying these chocolate candies, "Ah." You catch chocolate in your hand, "Why is it melting like this?”

"I don't know, I can't read Japanese." Jake laughs, "Hang on." He reaches over, grabbing a napkin and wiping it off your pant leg, "Goddamn. We can dress you up but we can't take you out."

"Wait, I thought you only said that to me." Johnnie pouts, "You backstabbing bitch."

Jake laugh, hanging his down as he shakes it, "Johnnie, I can't take you anywhere in general."

"Fair. Fair." Johnnie nods and you try to eat the candy but it gets on your lip and down your chin, "Ope." You close your lip, pointing with your pinky so Jake can get you another napkin.

"Jesus Christ, y/n. You're messier than I am." Johnnie laughs and you roll your eyes. Jake wipes your chin and lip with his thumb and pops it into his mouth, without thinking of course.

"Did you just.. Jake. You're holding a fucking napkin." Johnnie points and Jake just stares at you, panicking on what to do.

You lick your lips, wiping your chin off with the napkin, "now that I can speak, Johnnie. At least I don't leave black hair color stains on Jake's white seats."

Johnnie purses his lips and points to you, "That.. is from my root cover up bullshit. It's not easy being a blonde who dyes their hair, ya know."

Jake leans back over into his seat and laugh, "That's why you're stupid, stupid fuck."

You and Jake gently, well you gently bully Johnnie. Jake just bullies him to try and cover up what he did to you, but the chat won't let it go.

User9 - DID HE JUST- he didn't

User10- PLEASE HE HAD A NAPKIN

User11 - if I was y/n right now I'd be dead

User12 - that was so hot WTF

User13 - PLEASS GELL MW THEURE DAYING

User14 - JAKE blink if you like y/n

User15 - Johnnie absolutely kills me he's so funny without even trying LMAO

User16 - Johnnie knows. Johnnie tell us. Please Johnnie. Please SPILL IT

"Wait." Johnnie leans forward, "What did I spill?" He looks around and Jake laughs, "You idiot, they're telling you to spill something, you know like a secret. Fuck, why are we friends?"

"Because.." Johnnie changes his voice, "You love me. I'm all you have."

"Not true." Jake mumbles as he glances over at you because raising his voice loud enough for Johnnie to hear, "Yeah, yeah. I guess. Whatever you say."

"I'll take it." Johnnie nods and leans back, "so is that all or is there any other things we need to try?"

"Yeah, you need to try shutting the fuck up for once." Jake tries not to laugh, but fails, snorting as he rests his head on the steering wheel, "Fucking hell, Johnnie."

"As I said. Married couple." You laugh as you break apart another Kit Kat and hand a piece to Jake.

Johnnie slowly leans forward, his voice is quiet, "You'll have to kill me if you want me to stop, because I'm never going to stop."

Jake waits a few seconds and quickly reaches his hands up, trying to get Johnnie's neck.

User17 - we're about to witness the murder of Johnnie Guilbert

User18 - rip Johnnie

User19 - idk how y/n puts up with them

You sigh, shrugging as you tilt your head, "I don't know either, honestly." You laugh, reaching up to break up the small cat fight between the boys, "Hey, no blood on the white interior."

"Yes mom." Jake faces forward, hands in his lap and Johnnie salutes you, "Yes ma'am."

You chew on the inside of your cheek, "Do we have anything else to try?" Jake shakes his head, "No, I don't think we do." He looks over at you, "I am hungry though."

You and Johnnie both agree and Johnnie sighs, "Stop. Fucking. Copying me."

"Stop fucking copying me." You mock him with a laugh and Johnnie hangs his head down, "You're lucky you're not Jake saying that because if it was Jake I-"

"What." Jake spins around, "What will you do, you big bad. Emo goth guy?" He tries not to laugh again and Johnnie just reaches up slowly, tapping him on the cheek, "That. Thats what I'd do."

"You hit like a bitch bro, remind me to never have you on my side in a fight." Jake turns around laughing and Johnnie just sighs, "I can't stand you."

"You love me." Jake smiles at him and Johnnie tries not to laugh, "Fuck off."

"You know.. I'd- nevermind." Jake laughs, shaking his head, "Nevermind. Okay. So that's it for today. See you in the next one, bye."

Johnnie waves, along with you and Jake ends the stream.

It's quiet for a few minutes as everyone gets situated for the drive to get food and Johnnie breaks the silence, "so are you guys like fucking? Or what?"

You and Jake glance at each other, neither one of you willing to answer and Johnnie huffs, “Mm. Just as I suspected.”

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

This was literally written on a whim. I had this sitting in my drafts for a little while and I finally just sat down and kept writing until I felt like it was good enough to stop.

I hope you enjoyed, let me know what you think.

Love you all! 🖤

Likes and reblogs are majorly appreciated!

[emmyrosee]

lol Brandon Farris and Maria Gloria wrote this 💅🏼

——

You don’t film specific videos with Kenma often, but when you do, it’s usually at his expense.

For this installation of his quarterly stream, he’s got you set up with an eye tracker just beside him. Naturally, you’re decked out in Kodzuken merch, and he can’t stop looking at it as he explains the rules.

“So- there’s gonna be two sides. One side is gonna have one picture, the other of another one-“

“Revolutionary, Kenma.”

“-Shut the hell up. Anyways, your going to look at one of them; if you look at the one of me, or the picture on the left, it’s free. If you look at the right one, I have to give 5 subs. Got it?”

“One question.”

“Sure.”

“Why do you set yourself up for failure?”

Kenma looks you up and down, “because I already settled for you.” You jaw drops in faux offense while he sets up the pictures. “Okay- cover your eyes.” Your hands come up to childishly cover your eyes, and Kenma is quick to set up the first set of images.

One of him in a compression shirt, post workout with sweat making the fabric cling impossibly closer to his muscles.

The other, of Maesi at just a small 8 months old.”

“Alright babe. Open.”

Your eyes do, and they small orbs tracking your eyes dart to your child.

“Awww, my baby,” you coo, hands coming up to your mouth as you look at the picture of Maesi while he pouts next to you.

“Wow… thought you would look at me, not gonna lie,” he snickers, adding five gifted subs to his total. In his monitor, he sees your eye tracker finally dart to his picture, fixating on his abs. “Yeah no, that one glance of our infant cost me 25 damn bucks, let’s try again.” You laugh next to him and gently clutch his arm affectionately.

In the next slide, there’s a picture of him in a worn out nekoma hoodie, and a picture of Bokuto in his MSBY jersey-

Inconveniently, your eyes dart to Bokuto’s hair.

“Babe.”

“I’m sorry!” You cackle. “His hair is just stupidly exciting, it’s a habit.”

“You see my luscious hair every day, and you pick his?”

You suck in a breath and Kenma glares at you. “Luscious?”

“Im gonna leave you.” He tacks on another five subs, and he looks over at you in playful offense. “I’m letting you know now; this next one is Toppo and Appa snuggling. If you look at them, this stream is over.”

“Why on gods decaying earth would you tell me that?” You whine. “Now I wanna see my little kitty and puppyyyy.”

“I am your Kitty. So shush.” With that, Kenma’s index finger clicks onto the next slide, and he’s gotta give you credit, your eyes dart to his side finally, then immediately dash to the picture of Appa sleeping in a ball, with Toppo curled on top in an extremely similar fashion. “At least you looked at me first.”

He adds one gifted sub to the total, trying to ignore your snickering next to him.

“But look at how cute they are-“

“Don’t try to save yourself,” he says, clearly trying to hide the smile in his voice.

“Okay,” You giggle.

This continues for more than Kenma would like- as amusing as he finds it.

One look at him. Another look at him. One look at an anime poster. Another look at a random picture of a panda bear.

He’d love to pretend that this is annoying him; but his teasing of you and your laughter and rapid explaining have him cackling to his own self.

The last picture is, naturally, the biggest test, and Kenma gives you a look before clicking the next link. It’s a picture of him, asleep with a newborn Maesi on his chest and hair sprawled everywhere- it’s one you took of him when you first brought her home. On the other side, is a stupid picture of the stupid actor you stupidly like so stupidly much.

Your eyes dart to him and Maesi. And he immediately leaps up, cheering and thrilled as you laugh at the reaction. “SHE LOVES ME, CHAT! WE FUCKIN’ DID IT! WE RIIIIIIDE!”

“Dramatic ass!” You snort, laughing in your hands while he celebrates in the background. “It’s because you had Spawn in your picture.”

“Worth it. Whoo!” He sits down next to you and leans over to kiss your cheek, arm tossing around you to keep you close. You titter and try to shrug him away, “the only woman to exist ever. The love of my life. Beautiful mother of my child.” The chat floods with donations and cheers, but all he can focus on is your playful bats against him. “Game over. I’ve won. Next task chat.”

“You’re annoying.”

“And you looked at me.”

[plussizeficchick]

Hey guys.. so interesting factoid about me; I like to watch wrestling. I mean, tune in every week, watch the PPV’s, buy the merch type of fan.

Soo, let’s talk about Pro Wrestler!Bakugo

At first, he had no interest in it, he wanted a more rugged sport like football, but after his mother saw one too many players get CTE, she immediately pulled him from the sport.

He was angry at first because dammit, he’s not like those other extras on the field! But alas, to save himself an earful, he quit the sport as a two-time Super Bowl champion.

But he needed something else to let his aggression out. Something heavy-hitting.

That’s when he found pro wrestling.

At first, he was shit, he can admit that. He didn’t know how to run the ropes, he wasn’t with the high-flying shit and making people tap out didn’t satisfy his needs. That’s when he found his real fighting style.

Brawler.

He likes to beat people up. He likes pummeling his opponents into bloody heaps until they’re too far gone to even stand. And he especially likes the shiny belt that gets thrown over his shoulder after every title defense.

But nothing, nothing, compares to the cute, chunky commentator that sits at ringside.

He thinks you’re absolutely adorable, the way you try to shit on his matches and promos, and he knows it’s hard! He’s incredibly charismatic and he has the chops to back it up.

He corners you one day before a show, “Hey, Chubs. You got a problem with me or something?” He presses you. You’re a bit caught off guard and he uses that to back you up against a wall. “Cat got your tongue? Funny how you always seem to have something to say out there but when it’s just us…” You cut him off, pressing a firm, manicured finger into his chest. “Listen, asshole. I actually do have a problem with you. I think you’re full of shit. You walk around like you own the place, when the only reason you got your spot in the company is by kissing the boss’s ass. So yeah, I’ve got a fucking problem with you.” You storm off, muttering incoherently under your breath and fuck, Bakugo doesn’t think he’s ever been harder than he was right then.

The following week you’re the one cornering him in the hallway. “What the fuck is this?” You angrily shove the papers in his face. Bakugo smirks at the papers, “I see you got the news.” “No shit I got the news, what the fuck are you trying to do?” You press. Bakugo stands, towering over you. “Easy, Princess. All I told them was that I’d want to work with you more. I didn’t think they’d put us together. But then again, why wouldn’t they want to keep their top guy happy?” He’s smug, the bastard. And you want more than anything to wipe that smirk off his face.

“Fine then.” You grab his hand and lead him to his personal locker room. “If we’re gonna do this, I want it to look real.” The smirk drops from his face as you toss the door open. He follows behind you and locks the door when you instruct him to. Since when did you start telling him what to do?

By the time he turns back around, you’ve already made yourself comfortable on the large sofa. You removed your jeans and panties, tossing the lacy garment his way. “I want you to eat me out, Champ.” Fuck, you’ve got him hooked already.

He makes his way over to you, getting on his knees to breathe in your delicious scent. His mouth is practically watering as he sucks hickies onto your thighs, eager to finally dig in to what he’s been denied so long. You thread your fingers through his ash blonde hair, slightly tugging. “Hurry, ‘Suki.” You whine. He wants to hear you beg more, but he knows he’ll get the opportunity to later on.

He dives right in, lapping up your juices before sucking your clit into his mouth. You gasp at the feeling, bucking your hips up against his face. He’s messy, he spits on your cunt before lapping it right back up along with your juices. “Fuck, ‘Suki. S’good. Please.” You cry out. “Please what, Princess? Gotta tell me what you want.” He mumbles into your cunt. “Fingers. Please. Want your fingers, baby.” As much as he wants to deny, the pet name does something to him, he can’t help but comply.

He coats two fingers in your essence before slowly pressing the middle one inside, curling the finger in search of that special spot. You whine at the feeling, cunt clenching around him. “Gotta open up, baby. Gotta let me stretch you out for my cock.” He coos at you, his voice a striking contrast to how he sounds when he addresses the masses. It’s then that you come to the revelation that he only addresses you like that. He’s never loud, never aggressive when he’s with you. You don’t know why, but it has your cunt dripping that he’s only like that with you.

He slides in another finger, working you closer to your orgasm, and when he finally puts that heavenly mouth back to work, you feel your cunt spasming, core clenching as your orgasm washes over you. He milks it for all your worth and keeps going, and before long you feel another orgasm rush through you, though this one feels more different than the first.

“‘Suki, wait! I’m gonna-” “Cum, cum for me again, baby. Want you to soak my face.” You cry out as you cum for the second time that night, squirting all over Katsuki’s face. You grind your cunt against him, his nose bumping your sensitive nub. He lets you ride it out, before finally pulling away, your juices dripping from his chin. He licks his lips before pressing a fiery kiss to your lips, allowing you to taste yourself.

You hum at the taste, but you’re eager for the real star of the show. You pull at his belt, signaling that you want his clothes off, and who is he to deny you? He takes off his pants, but unlike you, he keeps his shirt on seeing as the show was going to start soon. His cock bobs up against his abdomen and the tip is a pretty shade of pink, with a few veins along the sides. Of course he has a pretty dick.

He runs his cock along your cunt, bumping the tip against your clit a few times before slowly pressing inside. He sets a steady pace, checking to make sure you're okay before increasing his speed. Before long, the room is filled with the sounds of skin slapping, and fuck, you’re a sight. Your face is flushed, with pretty tears streaming down your face, he can’t help but want a taste, tongue licking your tears before pressing a sloppy kiss to your lips, sucking your tongue into his mouth. He’s close, so fucking close, but he needs you to cum for him again.

“Cum f’me, baby. Cum for your champion.” And you do, your cunt clenched around his cock as you cum for a third time. You’re spent, but you want to feel him cum, want to feel him inside you during the show. You squeeze your cunt around him, eager to coax his orgasm from him. “Cum f’me, ‘Suki. Cum f’me, baby.” You know what the name does to him. Something so simple, yet so domestic just gets him ready to spill inside you. And he does, after a few more thrusts he’s cumming, the feeling of his seed filling you feeling so good, so warm.

You both stay connected for a moment, before you start to giggle. Bakugo’s head perks up at that, before joining you with a slight chuckle. “How long do you think before they realize we’ve been dating?” You ask, a dopey smile on your face. Katsuki kisses your cheek before answering, “I’d say a few weeks. You know I can’t keep my hands off you for too long. And now that I get to love on you in front of everybody, fuck yeah I’m gonna rub their noses in it.” You chuckle before pushing him off of you. “Alright, get me a towel. Show’s about to start.” “Yeah, you’ve got like 10 minutes.” “‘Suki!”

— —

Taglist: @xogabbiexo @kinq-sleazee @dabilovesme @sintiva @blkchxrryblyss @tenyaiidasslut @luna-indigoduh @bookwormsenpai @bl--ankhaeji @thicksimpx @namjoonswifeyy @nasty-quillz @haikyutiehoe @musicisme333 @unsatisfiedanddisappointed @celi-xxmoon

[justwinginglife]

This Time, It's Different

Dedicated to the only person who will read this, my bestie @minasfwoopyponytail, yall I know I be doin Soshiro all the time, but I got on the Ranpo track cuz we were talking about Ranpo being in our top favs for BSD so I gotta show him some love today (I am so sorry that I bought Chuuya, Dazai, and Akutugawa merch and forgot about you Ranpo my love, this is my apology fic for you).

You were never good at lying. 

It was inconvenient in almost all aspects of your life, but you never thought your ineptitude would be the reason someone finally fell in love with you.

After many failed attempts at bending the truth, after attempting to tell your aunt you liked the socks she got for your birthday and instead unknowingly wrinkling your nose at them and breaking her heart, after attempting to tell your boss that you were busy and couldn’t come to work on a Saturday and when she asked follow up questions about your supposed plans you found yourself flushed and floundering, after attempting to tell your ex that you enjoyed meeting his family but then immediately declining any further interaction with them, after multiple awkward interactions and even more disastrous encounters, you decided to give up on lying. It wasn’t for you.

So you resigned yourself to the fact that you would have to tell nothing but the whole, honest truth for the rest of your life. Your lackluster lies may cause catastrophe otherwise. 

So when you joined up with the Armed Detective Agency, when you rejected Dazai’s advances by saying, “No offense Dazai, but I’m sure you say that to all the ladies, and while I’m flattered, I’m not into womanizers,” when you offered methods of stress relief to Kunikida because he “always looked like the world was ending,” when you asked when Furukawa would be retiring because you were concerned about him “overworking himself in his old age,” when half the detective agency was against you from your first day, Ranpo Edogawa found himself half in love with you already. 

He’d never met a person who didn’t -or just couldn’t- lie, even among his fellow coworkers, and he was at least intrigued by you if nothing else. He found himself eager to see just how far you were willing to go to continue telling the truth. 

Going forward, you often found him tagging along on missions with you, peeking over your shoulder while you worked, listening to everything intently, even despite your other coworkers telling you that Ranpo almost never went out of his way to be this personally invested in anything, just because he wanted to hear you talk, to see if you really told everyone everything you thought all the time. And to ask you questions. Lots of questions. 

Most of them were controversial because he wanted to see if you’d stick to your opinions even if you were in the minority, some of them were philosophical because he wanted to know the way your mind worked, and a few of them were just downright absurd because he was Ranpo. 

“Okay. So. You want to know if I would divert the trolley to save the lives of five by killing one?”

“Yes, and when you’re done with that, do you think that dress makes that girl’s butt look fat?”

“Mr. Edogawa, sir, I really don’t see how this is relevant to the case.”

“Oh it’s relevant, alright. Answer the question, I’m your superior and I wanna know.”

“Um. Alright. Well clearly it makes more logical sense to sacrifice the life of the one for the good of the many, just mathematically speaking, and yes, that dress is very unappealing on her, I don’t know why she went with white.” 

“Agreed, the white is hideous, you pass my tests. For now.”

And so this bizarre relationship of yours continued.

Ranpo would wait for you to finish up cases, would wait for you to finish in the bathroom, would wait for you to finish up dinner, just so he could pick your brain, just so he could amuse himself with your answers. But the more time he spent with you, the more his reason changed for spending the time. He was always attentive, had always had a keen eye, but when you were around, it seemed every last bit of his attention had devoted itself to you. He knew how long it took for you to finish going to the bathroom, so -much to your embarrassment- he always knew what you were doing in the bathroom depending on the length of time. He knew how long it took for you to eat and which foods took you longer amounts of time to eat them. He knew when it was your time of the month, he knew what you craved during said time, he knew the way you’d react when he brought you said craving. He knew almost everything about you and it still wasn’t enough. 

One day, he diverted from his usual barrage of insane questions and he started asking about you: what was your favorite food, where were you born, did you have any pets growing up, what did you like to do outside of work? By now, you had gathered from all his previous questions that he was just having fun interrogating you, but you enjoyed talking with him, so you answered all his questions regardless, personal or otherwise. You were unsure how telling him your favorite color was supposed to entertain him the way his usual ridiculous questions did, but you told him it was green anyway. He brought you a bundle of kiwis the next day because he couldn’t figure out what else was green to give you. You were unaware of the fruit’s connection to his question about your favorite color but to him, he’d pretty much just asked you out. 

When you didn’t reciprocate his feelings, because you were unaware he had feelings for you, and unaware he had just presented them to you through said kiwis, he pouted for the remainder of the day.

You couldn’t figure out why the man who had spent every waking second of your career with the ADA by your side had suddenly started avoiding you. You couldn’t figure it out, and it was killing you. Little did he know, you had also started memorizing details about him, and the way his laugh sounded, the way his lips curved into a smile, the way his fingers pushed up his glasses, the way he did anything and everything, the way he said anything and everything had you craving your next interaction before the previous one had even ended. And you couldn’t take the silence he had now forced you into. So you went on a hunt for him.

You found him sulking on the rooftop. 

You plopped down beside him without saying a word and when you could tell he might be preparing to run again, preparing to plunge your relationship into further silence, you handed him a Ramune. He froze. And then he snatched the drink out of your hand like it was just another Tuesday for the two of you.

“You remembered my favorite flavor, huh? Not too shabby for a second rate detective.” He chugged down the drink.

You laughed and nudged his shoulder with yours. “If I’m such a second rate detective, how did I know you’d be on the roof?”

He shrugged. “Got lucky, I guess.”

You bit your lip and for the first time in years, considered lying. But you couldn’t do it. “Actually, I didn’t just ‘get lucky.’ I knew you’d be on the roof. You always come to the roof when you’re upset. I notice more than you think. So tell me- why are you upset?”

He sighed. “You’re not into me. No one’s ever into me.”

You blinked. “I’m sorry, what?”

He sighed again, this time more exasperated. “I gave you a gift, but you didn’t accept my feelings.”

You blinked again. “The… kiwis?? Ranpo. You always give me gifts. You gave me strawberries during my last period even though Yosano told you to get me chocolate because you know I like fruits better than chocolate. You gave me limited edition tickets to a play that was already sold out because you’d preordered it when you heard me vaguely mention that I liked it. You are always giving me things, and they’re perfect, and I love it, and I appreciate it, but how was I supposed to know this time was something different?”

He tapped a finger on his chin. “Yeah okay fine. I see that now.”

You inched up closer to him. “So… this time is different though?”

He suddenly blushed. “Yeah… this time it’s different. This time I wanted… well I wanted…”

“Me?”

He’s suddenly quiet and it’s the first time you’ve ever seen him like this. You’ve rendered him speechless and it’s impossible not to find it adorable.

You kiss him.

If he was speechless before, now he’s speechless and breathless.

“I just… you just…so we’re?”

You nod, smiling at him. “Yeah. We are.”

“We’re… together?” He squeaks out.

“I’d like us to be.”

He nods vigorously. “I-I’d like us to be too!” He blurts out.

You kiss him again and this time he savors the feeling of your lips melding with his. This time he kisses you back with fervor, with passion he never knew he could feel. This time, he’s all yours.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Author's Note: I am too lazy to write a longer fic that delves into their relationship after this, but I did want to write a lil drabble about it, so I will be posting it here.

[pretty-blkgirl]

Soul’s Desire [Ch. 11]

- Masterlist -

~~~|~~~

You paced around the rather small dance studio for a good 20 minutes, having to stop every once in a while because you were dizzy.

Your schedule ended earlier than expected, so you decided to head up to the dance studio to get yourself together before you met some more of your soulmates.

Your mood was still a little down today, mostly because of the phone call with your mother. She called because she wanted to tell you about her latest accomplishment: getting 2nd place at a local talent show.

You halfheartedly praised her achievements so she’d eventually let you off the phone, but after ten minutes, you knew you had to hang up and go practice.

She was not happy when you called her back later, and you listened with teary eyes while she tore you a new one.

As you thought about that call, you found yourself getting more and more upset and even contemplated canceling on the members again, until they walked through the door.

They were shocked to see you, as they were early as well, but the shock was replaced by happy expressions.

“Hi y/n” The freckled-faced Felix chirped. He was so much prettier in real life (which you didn’t even know was possible).

Lee Know followed closely behind him. He did resemble a cat, and that thought made you chuckle a little. Besides that, you really couldn’t understand how a person could look so perfect.

Hyunjin was last in line, looking stunning, his naturally seductive eyes staring at you.

You bow once they get close enough to you, and Hyunjin bursts out in a fit of laughter at your formalities.

“Hello, nice to meet you,” You say, “I’m Y/n”

“You don’t say” Minho teases, “Could have sworn you were pd-nim”

The shock is evident on your face as you playfully smack the man’s arm

“Pd-nim??? You could have said anyone else but HIM” You hounded, making all three men laugh.

Your feelings toward your mother subside as the four of you head over to the couches against the wall. There, Felix leads the conversation and you can’t help but giggle at how similar he and Chan are.

“How were your schedules?” Felix asked, pulling out a snack from his (Louis Vuitton) backpack.

“They were okay, we had back-to-back interviews, and then we shot for our YouTube channel.”

Hyunjin nods, “We just had to record today. Tomorrow we gotta rehearse for our concerts this weekend”

“Are you coming to the concerts y/nnie?” Minho questions with a look nothing short of mischievous. He was so silly.

“Unfortunately not, too busy preparing for debut”

“Booooooo” Hyunjin nags, “Not supporting your soulmates? Bad start”

“Hush” You chuckle, “I’ll be at plenty of Stray Kids concerts in the future”

“That’s right, we’ll even make sure you get a discount on tickets” Minho jokes, earning him another playful smack from you

“I better get free tickets AND backstage passes”

“We can probably make that happen” Felix smirks, “Do we get free tickets to see LUCKY in concert?”

“Of course, I’ll even throw in some merch”

“I guess we can give you a few shirts and hats too”

“Nuh uh, I want one of everything. I better get every variation of skzoo, shirts, pants, hats, bags, everything” You declared

“Hannie told us you’re a stay, you probably have a good amount of our merch anyways,” Hyunjin remarked

“I do, but now I won’t have to break my pockets!”

The guys laugh again, and you’re glad to know the meeting is going well.

Speaking of meetings, you guys got maybe 15 more minutes together before Lee Know got a call from one of their managers.

You knew they had to leave when he gave you a sympathetic look. He got off the phone and quickly confirmed your assumption, revealing they were being called in for a last-minute meeting.

Before he could even apologize, you waved your hand

“You guys have to go, I get it, don’t feel bad”

Hyunjin crossed his arms defiantly, “We’re supposed to be off, I don’t know why we suddenly have a fucking meeting to go to”

“Yeah I don’t understand it either” Felix sighs

You just shrug, standing and urging the boys to do the same.

“Y’all need to go before you get in trouble. Seriously, don’t feel bad. You know I’m an idol too, I understand”

The three are grateful for your words and decide to give you their (along with Vocalracha’s) numbers before rushing out the door.

You weren’t super upset you didn’t have much time with them, you knew you had the rest of your life with them, so you grabbed your bag and decided to head home.

~~~|~~~

Taglist: @chuuyaobsessed @h0rnyp0t @prttyxbby @yukichan67 @hanniemylovelyquokka @xxeiraxx @loveforlee444 @whatdoyouwanttocallmefor

[cozage]

Helloooo! First things first, I gotta say, I LOVE your writing! Anything you post I eat it up, even if the characters aren't my cup of tea you somehow make me a complete simp. Congratulations on your absolutely AMAZING work <3

Okok onto the real ask, tho! I was thinking gender neutral reader, with Sanji and Zoro? (Maybe Usopp if it tickles your fancy :)) Reader is like, very badass at first glance kicks ass easily and does it looking very cool. Leather jacket, maybe some cool tattoos and piercings, stuff like that.

But when they start getting to know them better they're like... A total dork??? A complete nerd??? They like roleplaying games like DnD, they know a bunch of animal and science facts for absolute no reason other then "it's fun to know about stuff :D" (also, fun fact, did you know there's a species of penguin that is like- 12 inches tall?? And they're blue???? They're called fairy penguins and I LOVE THEM-)

It could be a short fic or headcannons, whatever works best for you <3 thanks for reading this! And writing! Have a wonderful day!

A/N: Eeeeek this was so cute and soft to think about!! As a fellow d&d nerd and just nerd in general this was really cute to write (I however, am not an intimidating badass, but I admire those who can pull it off)

Characters: gn reader x Sanji, Zoro, Usopp

Total word count: 700

Intimidating Nerd

Sanji

He finds your intimidating nature so hot. SOOOOO hot.

He’s always fawning over you and desperate to give you attention. You hardly pay him any mind, but that just fuels him even more. 

Sanji discovers pretty quickly that you’re not as intimidating as you appear (because he’s literally always watching you), but at first he doesn’t let on.

He does learn all about the topic you’re totally obsessed with, and uses that to win you over. 

Not the type to call you out or gloat that he knows, he just drops random hints about it at first. Little facts, and when he sees you perk up he knows he hit the jackpot.

After a few mentions of it, you finally cave, and just totally info dump on him while he’s baking. 

He just stirs the batter and hums along, only half understanding all of the things you say (he only learned enough to impress you) while you get louder and louder from excitement. 

But your excitement doesn’t phase him, in fact it makes him giddy. He’s thrilled to see such a vulnerable and different side of you that not many get to see. 

Zoro

Zoro is concerned at first that you’re all talk, but once you prove yourself in battle, he becomes pretty impressed with you. 

Impressed becomes adoration, due to the look you have and the flirtatious words exchanged between you all. 

He hears you occasionally speak about your special interest(s), and on island days he can usually find you in one of those weird stores he usually tries to avoid. 

After you leave one, he sneaks in and asks the guy what you were in there for. He explains that he’s a crewmate of yours and is trying to find you something nice, but has no idea where to start. 

He ends up picking out a cool piece of jewelry that has some hint towards whatever you love. That kind of merch that still looks cool, but fans know where it’s from. 

Luckily, the guy is super helpful, and even explains a little bit about the backstory of the item he picked out (all of which goes right over Zoro’s head).

He leaves it on your bed in the bunkhouse. He doesn’t really know what to say or how else to give it, and when you see it, you know it's from him immediately. He’s the only one who knows that you like that thing, and you instantly put it on. 

When he sees you again, he compliments the jewelry, to which you smirk and roll your eyes. “Thanks,” you say. “Some nerd got it for me.”

Usopp

He is so scared of you. Literally tenses when you walk in the room at first.

Yeah, you’re hot. But you could also definitely kill him in 5 seconds with your pinky. He’s seen you do it to stronger enemies in less time. 

He doesn’t even try that boasting thing with you. He tried it once and you just raised an eyebrow at him. He got so flustered that he immediately shut up. 

And then he brings up an old game he used to play, an old TV show he used to watch, an old comic book he used to read. And your entire demeanor changes. 

At first he thought you were making fun of him or trying to scare him, but he can see real enthusiasm about it in you. And you like…know your stuff. 

Suddenly you all are BEST. FRIENDS. You’re inseparable. You teach Luffy and anyone else who will listen about the lore. Most of it goes over Luffy’s head, but Robin, Franky, and even Sanji get a hold of the concept and become slightly interested. 

Every time you stop at an island, the two of you saunter off together trying to find new merch or new updates about it. 

Usopp loves having you around because he knows that you will always protect him and you can fight enough for two in battle, and you’re cool enough to always keep a conversation going with him.

[montimer]

Joker x hero!reader

Him being ur number one fan (and ur his ;])

Reader in denial and bit dummy

(Could be any ver)

-Back in the hideout-

He jumped to the television when he heard your name. He left whatever he was focusing on, now sitting excitedly infront of the tv. Eager to see you, hear your voice.

An interviewer managed to get you to talk infront of cameras. 'If this is what you all want so bad..' you thought. 'Can't be that bad right?'

While she was introducing herself, his eyes never left your form. Ignoring her, he would get bored if you wouldn't be staring at the camera. "Silly you, you look adorable as always" he says.

"..and today here we are with (heroname)! Say how does it feel like to be one of Gotham's best hero?"

One of? Why they are number one! The best of all.

"Ahah, i wouldn't say that.."

Sweet, as you are always huh?

He kept on watching the show. He focused on every word you said, deeply acknowledging them. Getting worked up whenever the interviewer said something that he didn't like, speaking out loud, correcting her. Talking to no one but the box infront of him.

But one specific question made him go quiet.

"There's this one villain that seems to be very attached to you. You know who im talking about don't you?" The question made you wordless. 'Why yes he sure has been acting weird with you, but its not like that..right?' You tried to calm your nerves. After an awkward second you answered.

"Uh, yeah? Who might that be?" 'Just act dumb, just act dumb'

"The clown prince of crime of course, haven't you noticed?"

You chuckled awkwardly. You kinda felt this coming

"Soo, what do you think of such criminal? C'mon the world wants to know!" She asked you half begging.

Your mind begin to race through options.

'If i say nice things about him, they'll think im on his side, but if i don't, he might get mad' but why do you care? Do you happen to-?

"(Heroname)?"

Oh oh right, answers

"Well uh, well- he's sure is hard to deal with,,but ya know at the end of the day justice always wins!..well expect those few times he got away.."

"Hmm interesting but i'd like to hear more of a, personal opinion"

You tried your best to stay formal, now what? They say honesty is one way of heroism

"Hmm, i'd say he's a genius, just think of the things he builds, the toxin he makes. He's also pretty funny, i mean when he's not hurting others of course! What i ment was..his jokes are great. You gotta have lots of creativity to tell a joke. He's quite a looker too, his costume is nice and all..mmm was that personal?"

The interviewer looked both surprised and amused.

"Yes, that was definitely personal!" She said excitedly.

The amount of eyes made you even more nervous than before. You tried not to face palm. Instead you excused yourself, waved at the camera and flight away.

The interview came to an end.

'Gosh i just hope he wasn't watching' oh but he was, every single second

And there in the hideout he stared at the empty screen. Unmoving, processing slowly what you said.

Hey what did you blurt out just now? Genius,funny,handsome?

He begin to smile wide. Jumping up and down laughing excitedly. Acting like some teenage girl having a crush on a celebrity.

He knew it! You loved him just as much as he loved you! And here he was worrying you were gonna say something mean. Nonsense, why of course with his genius mind-as you said- he could figure it out in a snap of a finger!

He went to pick up the little plushy of you, cuddling up to it. He had every piece of merch he could get his hands on.(and photos he took of you while you weren't looking)

He usually steals them from local shops, and sometimes feeling jealousy upon seeing people cuddle up to the tiny form of you, he burns the rest. No one can touch whats his! He's sure they understand (incase they don't they should know whats coming to them)

In his mind its special and only he can have it, after all he is your biggest fan.

[effy-writes]

Addict (Blitz x Reader)

(link above this is chapter’s)

5- Loo Loo Land: Best Frens 4 ever

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Can you lift your feet up please?" You leaned against the broom.

Loona rolled her eyes then lifted up her legs. You swept underneath her and then turned to get the other side of the room.

"Y/n! Come here!" Blitz sounded annoyed. You sat the broom down and dusted yourself off before entering Blitz's office.

"Yeah?"

Blitz put the phone on speaker, "Alright Stolas, she’s here."

Oh jeez.

"Why hello Y/n, haven't heard from you in a while. How come you're not picking up my texts?"

"Y/n lost her phone privileges, now what do you want?" Blitz said impatiently.

"Why did she lose her privileges?"

"Stolas, why the fuck did you call?" Blitz got closer to the phone.

You let out a sigh of relief.

"I'm taking my daughter to Loo Loo Land, and I was hoping you brave little Imps would accompany us!"

"We're assassins, not bodyguards, 'kay? Don't invite us to shit unless someone's gonna die."

"I'm a janitor." You groaned.

"Trust them on this one, she got hurt trying to run away from a woman with big tits and a shotgun."

"Because I'm a janitor!"

"Don't fight darlings. But i'll pay you-"

"Pay me what?" Blitz interrupted.

"Moneyyy-"

"Done!" Blitz happily slammed his phone down and grabbed out a megaphone.

"Blitz I don't know how to fight."

"I doubt he needs us but hey, money!" He started talking through the megaphone.

"M&M get in here! We're going to Loo Loo Land!"

Moxxie opened the door, "Loo Loo Land?"

Millie practically threw herself in the office, "Loo Loo Land!"

"Loo Loo Land!" Blitz harshly grabbed your shoulders and shook you.

~~

Everyone somehow managed to fit in Blitz's van. They all got out and stretched since it was so cramped in there.

Blitz walked over to Stolas, "Now, remember: this is work and work only. Me and my crew are not here to satisfy your perverted bird needs, alright?"

Octavia tried to get her dad's attention but Blitz interrupted her. "If you try fuckin' my little ass and make Y/n watch in that park, I swear to--"

"You are so cute when you are serious!"

Blitz huffed and watched you tap your foot up and down.

"Nervous?"

"What? No. Last time I joined you guys I got hurt."

"I told you I didn't mean to choke you until you passed out-"

"Not that you retar-... dumbass. I twisted my ankle and couldn't walk for two weeks."

"Oh right. Well try not to hurt your weak wittle ankles." He teased.

Millie was excitedly telling Moxxie about this place. She was jumping up and down and pointed at the things she remembers when she was a kid.

You smiled at Millie before turning your attention to Octavia and Loo Loo the mascot.

"This place reeks of insecure corporate shame." Octavia gagged.

Loo Loo turned to Blitz, "That chick's creepy, huh?"

"Eh, wait till her dad tries to diddle your holes, and then make you watch him diddle your best friend's hole."

You pinched the bridge of your nose out of annoyance. M&M was looking at some crazy expensive merch from this place.

"That much for a novelty cup that you use one time?"

"Cause it's Loo Loo Land!" Millie cheered.

"Listen to your hoe, Mox." Blitz took a swig from the novelty cup.

"When did you get that?" You pointed.

"When you weren't looking. How 'bout Y/n and I take the first watch while you two have a little fun." He winked.

Millie jumped up and down. "We gotta do my favorite ride!" She picked up Moxxie and started running to "The Lawsuit" roller coaster. You cringed at the sight before looking over at Blitz.

"Stop staring." He tossed the cup. "Now let's go protect this horny owl."

The two walked with Stolas and his daughter. Blitz had his gun ready while you were walking in front of the royal family.

Should've brought my broom. You laughed to yourself.

"It's quite thrilling to see you two on the job. Especially you Blitzy~"

"Why not Y/n?"

"Weapons turns me on." He whispered to Blitz, but you and Octavia could hear him.

Stolas gasped, "Look Via! You used to cry such tears of joy at this show!"

"Oh no." She panicked.

"Fizz is a robot?" You asked, with a confuse look on your face.

"Not exactly." Blitz scoffed.

You know nothing about the discord between Blitz and Fizz. You knew that Fizz got hurt real bad because of the news, but doesn't know the drama between the two.

"Oh Blitzy! I need my bodyguard please!"

Annoyed, Blitz shoots the imps that was trying to take him and he carried Stolas inside the tent. You were in front of Octavia to "protect" her since you have no idea on what you're doing.

Blitz groaned as he saw Robo Fizz enter onto the stage, but you were smiling ear to ear.

"Why do you look so eager?"

"I haven't seen him since...my addiction got bad." You whispered.

"That's not him, you do know that right? Did the meth make your brain smooth?"

"Shut the fuck up Blitz." You gritted through your teeth. "I know it's not him, but...he was like a brother to me." You frowned.

Blitz was going to bring it up again about your past addiction because he's upset and got hurt by you. He knows that you know this, but for some reason he wants to keep reminding you even though it hurts him to do so, but he doesn't know that he's indeed hurting you.

"Oh how delightful!" Stolas clapped at the end of the song.

Another imp tried to stab Stolas, but Blitz quickly shot him.

"Oh, my! What aim you have, Blitzy!" He flirted.

"Ugh! I can't do this anymore!" Octavia shouted before running away, Stolas followed her and kept calling her name.

You were feeling weird about this situationship although you agreed to partake in Blitz and Stolas' fucking, but it seems as if Stolas is liking Blitz more. You're actually fine by that, but you can't keep your head around it. You've been best friends with Blitz for the longest time and even grew up with each other. You left him for your own selfish desires, haven't called him/checked up on him since the days before the fire. Then 15 years later you're living with him, as well as having to fuck an owl prince.

You snapped back into reality whenever you saw Blitz shooting Robo Fizz.

"Oohoohoo! Someone's salty! Real or not, though, people lo-o-ove me! Does anybody love you... Blitzo?"

You looked at him, waiting on his answer.

"No. But, I'm really good with guns now. Dance, bitch!"

You knew that was going to be the answer. You huffed then abruptly got up and left the tent, dying to get your hands onto some stimulants.

A loud explosion was heard as you felt heat rising. You quickly turned your head. "Oh shit."

The fire spread to all corners of the park. "Blitz!" You shouted out of fear and not out of anger this time.

You saw Blitz and Robo Fizz fighting and relaxed a bit before shrugging. I'm sure he can handle this on his own.

You started walking towards the van to drive it a tad bit further away so it won't get caught on fire. Instead of leaving, you just stayed in his van, rummaging through the trash and looking in the dash board.

"Come on Blitz...you gotta have something."

You found a wadded up piece of paper in his dashboard before unfolding it and slouched in the drivers seat.

It was a poorly drawn drawing you gave to him whenever you first joined the circus. You drew Blitz on a tight rope that was holding you up with one hand. The words at the top was written in crayon and said "Best frens 4 ever!"

Tears welded in your eyes. "He still kept it?" The van doors abruptly opened.

"Drive!" Blitz yelled as he got in the passenger seat. Moxxie and Millie quickly jumped in the back and slammed the doors shut.

"Where's Stolas and Via?"

"Going to some store I said drive, bitch drive!"

You balled up the paper and stuffed it down your shirt, slamming on the gas to get out of this park.

Why did he keep it?

[homiesexuallaj]

Time to Play Golf

Pairing: Montgomery Gator x Child! Reader (PLATONIC PLATONIC PLATONIC)

Genre/Warnings: Monty and reader are friends, Monty and reader have a platonic relationship, reader is a child, reader is like older elementary age, fluff, reader has a childlike obsession with Monty, Monty helps reader out with a harder hole, not proofread cause im a little lazy

A/N: Requested from a user on Wattpad

--- --- ---

You love love LOVE Montgomery Gator. He's your absolute favorite out of the Glamrock crew.

You first fell in love with the animatronic when you were visiting the Pizzaplex for the first time. The Glamrocks were performing up on stage during their allotted time and the green reptile immediately caught your eyes. The way he moved and kept the crowd/other children engaged was entrancing.

You tried to get to Monty when the animatronics got off stage but there were too many other kids shoving their way through the crowd. You decided, dejectedly, that you'd wait until next time.

Over your next few visits you kept watching Monty up on stage, playing Monty themed arcade games, collecting Monty merch, and playing putt-putt after you found Montgomery's themed room almost hidden away. You were entranced and obsessed with the green reptile animatronic, and everyone knew it.

One day, you'd gotten lucky. There wasn't as long as a wait for Monty in Rockstar Row. It was just a quick meeting, just a hi/hello and a picture. The line went fast and you only waited for about 20 minutes, the longest 20 minutes of your child life. Before long you stood toe-to-toe with the reptile. He gave a greeting and asked for your name, and you gave it. You took two quick pictures with the animatronic, one with a hug and another with Monty's signature getting-ready-to-chase crouch. It was the best day of your life! Your parents have the pictures framed and sat on a shelf in your room.

Today was putt-putt day, you decided. You grabbed a club and a golf ball and go to work, making your way through Monty's golf course for the umpteenth time. You knew the course by the back of your hand by now. You could make a hole-in-one on the easier sections of the course but still had trouble playing some other sections.

Right now, you were struggling on one hole. The track did a loop and you had trouble getting it around the loop. You were getting frustrated and you almost gave up before a shadow overtook your own. You looked up and gasped.

Monty was beside you, holding is own golf club. He sat his own ball down in front of you both.

"This one's tricky, huh?" Monty spoke, his gravelly voice at a rare talking level.

You nodded, unable to get your vocal chords to work.

"Well, you gotta stand like this," Monty demonstrated.

He stood to the left of the ball, so he could have some right hand power behind his swing. He placed his feet about shoulder length apart and leaned over a bit, allowing his long arms to bend so he would have more movement. With a swing of the club, Monty sent his golf ball through the loop and made a hole-in-one, something very hard to do on this section!

"Now you!" Monty moved to the side and made room for you.

You placed your own ball down and mirrored Monty's previous pose. With a swing and a strike of the ball, your ball successfully made it over the loop, passed the hole, and hit the wall. The ball landed only a foot or two away from the hole.

Monty cheered, "Good job, squirt!" He gave you a gentle pat on the back. "Off you go!" He urged you to finish the hole.

With a gentle tap of the ball, you finished your current hole. You gave yourself a small celebration and picked up your ball.

"Good job, kid," The gator praised. "Here you go."

Almost nonchalantly, Monty gave you his personal golf club. With a ruffling of hair, Monty stalked off, a hint of pep in his step.

You gapped, looking from the reptile to the golf club. After your initial shock, you ran off towards your parents. You yelled and giggled about the gift from the gator.

[heartshapedcreaturefromcriptoon]

I can't believe there is a "Cursed Cat Alastor Controversy" and that once again I had to have the evil lepreconartist who lords over the fandom making his gold off of Medrano's despair explain to me in order to understand what the fuck is going in on the fandom, yet again ... But I kind of hate you all so here's my hot take...

It's actual petty bullshit.

It's the equivalent of a fanartist calling out an AMV maker for "art theft" and demanding that a video they worked hard on be taken down because they used a piece of fanart for a character in an AMV tribute to the character that both the fanartist and the AMV maker (who is already an artist in their own right) already do not actually fucking own. Like, regardless if the AMV maker gives the fanartist credit. Instead of being honored by it, when they should know better that neither of them ever actually even own the shit to begin with, yet they still demand "credit" for fanwork.

I once saw a popular Asian artist in the svtfoe fandom demanding a boycott of the popular fan run merch store TheMysteryShack just as the beautiful fan made artbook Tales of Rebel Princess was about to launch exclusively through there because she alleged that the shop owner had stolen one of her friends fanart designs on a goddamn fucking Steven Universe tarot card pack of all things but I still really liked her Star fanart, so when I tried to respectfully explain to her that I wouldn't be boycotting the shop because of Tales of Rebel Princes launching and how I thought it was personally in very poor taste to not just contact the shop owner privately about the matter and instead making a big stink in public about boycotting his shop when she knew that one of her other artist friends that we knew she had also collaborated with in the past was just about to debut another big collaborative art tribute book dedicated to Daron and Star vs. there through this guys shop! And essentially it would be sad to see her knowingly taking business away from her other friend like that and demanding others in her following do the same and over something as small as a deck of Steven Universe cards, especially in understanding how little love svtfoe gets, since she was also a well known svtfoe fanartist ... All I got in response was "Well I'm happy for my friend but I'm Korean and you're just a Filthy American who couldn't possibly understand how disrespectful something like this is in my culture and blah blah blah if you instant on further harassing me about this I'll block you!"

And I was basically like "suit yourself being fake and having a stick up your butt honey I'm still getting my Star vs. artbook!"

And then she blocked me.

Good riddance. As if Miss Heinous would honestly ever head bang to Ruberiot...

But I guess what I'm trying to get here is that like...Oh, I'm sorry? You wanna make fanart for western cartoons? You gotta play by western rules then. Like it's late night here and I'm sorry if that sounds harsh. But it's true.

If Aurelio Voltaire honestly deserves to have a deal be cut in my opinion so he can finally officially own his share of the "Vampair" series after Daria Cohen stole his voice to make it (half dry humor, half serious here, to be quite frank about this) then coma0423 deserves to cut a deal so that Amir Talai can have a bit of financial comprehension and his percentage of whatever kind of (I'm guessing financial) ~"credit'~ that Coma is now demanding from other fanartists who make Cursed Cat Alastor fan merch since Talai , after all, did design the original concept sketch that would become Cursed Cat Alastor that Coma saw and then decided to just runaway with when they made the meme ...

Listen to me... Fanart belongs to everyone and no one by nature of it being made by fans and no one can truly own a "fan concept" expect for the true creator of the thing that it's based on. Unless that thing is already in the public domain. And if it is it becomes Schrodinger's Cheshire Cat.

Schrodinger's Cursed Cat Alastor belongs to everyone and no one, babe. He belongs to The Hazbin Hotel Fandom and The Hazbin Hotel. If he actually becomes canon in the show somehow, then he'll belong to Amir and Viv, actually, maybe Coma will get proper credit then, but the concept won't even really be theirs anymore, just as it even isn't really officially theirs now, even if they officially do get hired.

First you're telling me that I'm not allowed to fuck the radio demon ... Now you're telling me that I'm apparently not even allowed to kiss a cute wittle kitty cat plushie of him between the space on his head between his ears if said plush wasn't crafted by or sold explicitly by the fanartist who again, stole the concept sketch of him from Amir Talai in the first place?

No. This is nonsense.

Stop making all these petty dramas off someone else's work that only feed the evil leprechaun more gold off of someone else's work or start making you're own original work from your own original concept that you can actually claim your own copyright to I'm exhausted.

Ever hear the phrase once something leaves your brain it belongs to everyone, not just you anymore?

This goes triple for anyone making fanart of someone else's work and that's a fact. Especially if it's only ever an extremely memed up version of an already canonically existing character that you were only so lucky went viral.

Stop the bullying. No one fanwork is that special. Just do your best to honor the source material and be flattered by other fanartists imitations of your fanartist imitation... It's the circle of cursed kitties and it feeds us all. *smacks paw down*

[pyromegalomaniac]

Well, I keep imagining the reader before being taken by Yandere wally to his world, had a date with someone had a crush on the reader at her house, but imagine the reader and the guy on the date kissing and going to some more spicy places TV or computer out of nowhere turned on and had Wally looking not too happy about it… What would happen?

Such a good idea, anon... I really like yandere and generally threatening Wally, so this is gonna be fun to write. >:) I will say that this'll be a gn reader, since you mentioned them as she. Just letting you know!! I also separated the story this time, since it ended up being extra long and I decided to write with my laptop this time instead of my phone!! Enjoy!!

(♡˙︶˙♡)

Eyes Glued to the Screen🍎📺

(some spicy themes ahead, reader be aware!!!)

☆°•☆°•☆°•☆

Aspen was using the bathroom, and I sat on my phone scrolling tumblr as I waited for him in our booth. The waiter had already taken our bill, and I was just waiting for my date to get back so we could go.

I decided to check up on that website about the hunt for that lost media show for updates, but no luck. When I'd first heard about it awhile ago, I was immediately enamored. The characters were so charming, and they reminded me so much of the Muppets. I really hoped they'd be able to find some of the actual show soon. So far all they'd found was some old merch and some scripts.

My favorite was a little yellow puppet with a fancy blue hairstyle that supposedly talked to the viewer, Wally Darling. He was just so classy. It was adorable!

I was just finishing putting the tags on a reblog of some fanart when Aspen walked back to our table.

"Ready to go?" He smiled.

"Yep," I replied, shoving my phone in my pocket and standing up after I hit "post".

I took his hand and we left the restaurant, stepping into the chilly evening air just as the sun was going down. We started walking down to my apartment, stopping at a little general store on the way when it started raining. It had already been drizzling, which neither of us minded, but the raindrops were big and fat now, and we didn't have an umbrella.

We tried to wait it out, but after fifteen minuets we just gave up and bought an umbrella to share.

"Dammit, I'm sorry about this," I said as we walked back to my apartment. "I looked at the weather before our date and I thought it'd be over by the time we were done. I-"

"Hey, hey," said Aspen. "You don't gotta put yourself down like that. I didn't bring an umbrella, did I?" He chuckled sweetly, and it really did make me feel better. He was such a little sweetheart.

I should get him some flowers sometime.

We got to my apartment and shed our wet coats, leaving them on hooks. The rain was really coming down now, picking up even more. I wondered vaguely if that was thunder that I heard just now.

We left our shoes on a towel by the door, and I went to go change from my jeans to my sweatpants.

"I'll be back in just a minute~" I called over my shoulder. "Go ahead and start the movie."

I disappeared into my room and undid my belt. I was just putting it away when I heard my phone vibrate on the table. I picked it up to see a text from a number I didn't recognize.

"You didn't forget me, did you?"

I shook my head, assuming it was a wrong number. I had my pants off and was folding them up when I got another text. This time, it was an image. It was hard to tell because it was so dark, but it looked like the vague shape of a face, but the eyes were easiest to make out. It was hard to miss, actually, since they seemed to be able to actually see me.

I was tying up my sweatpants when I got the third text. My curiosity got the best of me, and I opened up the audio message. There was an odd monotone voice speaking to me from... somewhere. The audio quality was... poor.

"Why... why don't you answer me? I can see you. Can't you see me anymore? Just leave him alone. Just leave him. Don't look at him... just look at me... y/n."

It was hard to hear because of the bad audio and because it was whispered, but the voice knew my name somehow. It knew me. It wasn't a wrong number. I could feel the hair rising on my neck...

I jumped almost ten feet in the air when the thunder and lightning crashed outside, stopping myself from shrieking just in time.

I blocked the number and headed outside.

"Hey," I said, trying to sound nonchalant. "Has the Doc showed him the Delorian yet?"

"Nope, but he's about to," said Aspen, scooting over. "Come sit. I got a nice blanket for us to cuddle in."

I sat next to him in the blanket, and after a while he started leaning on me, and I put my arm around him. I slid my hand down his back and casually made my way under his shirt, and he scooted closer.

Before we could get any more intimate, a roll of thunder crashed outside and a flash of lightning lit up the room in a blinding bright white.

When it was over, all the lamps we had on before were off, and the tv was too.

"Looks like the storm hit the power," I sighed. I got up to go check the tv, and Aspen pulled the blanket close to him.

"I hope it doesn't get too cold in here with the heater not working," he muttered.

I could think of one or two ways we could warm up.

As I bent down to the tv to see if I could do anything with it, it turned on again, displaying nothing but static and some loud static sounds. I tried fiddling with it, but I couldn't get that noise to turn down.

But... were those words in the static? Or was I just hearing things? I bent down as close as I could to hear, and I could've sworn I saw those same eyes that I saw in the text.

"Y/n... you see me now, don't you? Oh, good. We can see each other again."

I froze in fear at hearing that ominous voice again, this time from the tv. It was so quiet, I was certain Aspen couldn't hear.

The eyes became clearer too.

"My, my... I do think I'll just have to take you back with me. Won't that be wonderful, my dear?"

The static seemed to part like a curtain and he pulled himself through, grabbing me by the shoulders.

"Let's go, sweetheart!"

The last thing I heard was Aspen's scream as I was pulled through to the other side.

☆°•☆°•☆°•☆

Ooooh, spooky, isn't it?? Ha, Wally is such a little weirdo. I love him sm!! Sorry if this took a bit of time, anon. I hope you liked it, and thanks for requesting this!! It was fun to write, and I look forward to doing more in the future!! Much love!!

ヽ(>∀<☆)ノ

[samandcolbyownme]

Ok so what if y/n just got her period and has been in a bad mood all day cause Sam's not home or something like that and he gets home and they cuddle and watch a movie or something. I don't but love you 💜🩷

Warnings: swearing, talk of period, bad mood, mostly fluff

Word Count: 1004 | Unedited

─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ───

You rolled over, reaching out for Sam, but you don’t feel him laying next to you.

You lift your head, letting out a sigh as you remembered today was the day he wasn’t going to be home until later on tonight.

You sat up, freezing as you felt that irritating feeling creep through your body. You made your way to the bathroom and lo and behold, it was day one of shark week.

“That’s just fucking great.” You mumbled to yourself, “Fucking..” you reach forward, grabbing a pad, (or a tampon, whatever suits you best!), “Great.”

You stand up, moving to wash your hands before looking at yourself in the mirror. You brush your finger over a new blemish and let out a whiney groan, “whyyy.”

You make your way back to bed, climbing under the covers and reaching to grab your phone. You look at the text from Sam, Have a good day, babe. I’ll see you later, I love you!

You smile slightly, typing back, Good morning. I hope you have a good day. I love you!

You shifted around and that’s when the cramps kicked in. You let out a groan as your legs slide up, curling into a ball as you squeeze your eyes shut, “God, I haaate being a girl.”

After spending the last hour or so scrolling through TikTok and other apps, you found yourself in the kitchen, looking through the cupboards for something to eat.

Nothing sounded good. Nothing looked good.

You grabbed your phone, sitting at the island as you looked for something to have delivered. After picking a few things, you placed your order and made your way into the living room.

Sam texts you, Did you eat breakfast?

You type back, I have stuff being delivered here soon. I woke up to my period and nothing here looked good, so yes, I’ll eat in a little bit.

You set your phone down, scrolling through options of stuff to watch on the tv.

You settled for a movie you’ve seen a few times, mainly because you know you’ll be on your phone anyway.

You couldn’t get comfortable, you kept moving around trying to find the right spot but couldn’t - and it was pissing you off.

“God.. dammit.” You threw the pillow, huffing as you rested your hand on your forehead.

You wanted Sam, and the fact that he couldn’t come home right now was pissing you off even more.

Speaking of, your phone rings and you smile as you see Sam’s face on the screen, “Hey.”

“Hey.” Sam’s voice rings on the other end, “How are you feeling? Sorry I just got a change to check my phone again.”

“Miserable.” You pull your phone away, seeing the notification that your food has been delivered, “But my food is here, so that’s a plus.”

“What did you get good?”

You tell him what you ordered as you walk over to the door to retrieve it, “But yeah, how’s your day going?”

“It’s.. going, I guess.” He laughs slightly, “We just got done with the shoot for the new merch, next we’re heading to meet with the owner of that school.”

“Sounds fun.” You laugh slightly as you put him on speaker so you can eat, “I hope it goes good. That would be really cool if you could buy it.”

“That’s what we’re hoping for.” Sam says, and you can hear Colby in the background, “Hi y/n.”

“Hi, Colby.”

“Alright, babe. We gotta get going. I’ll text you, okay?” Sam states and you nod to yourself, “I’ll be here.” You laugh slightly, “I love you.”

“I love you, get some rest okay. I’ll be home as soon as I can.”

“Okay.”

Sam hangs up and you lean back on the couch, pouting as you know he won’t be home for another few hours.

After eating, you lay back down on the couch and you end up falling asleep while watching tv, only to be woken up a little bit later by the door opening.

You sit up, rubbing your eyes and you smile as you see Sam, “Hey. What are you doing home?”

He walks over to you, sitting down next to you, “We got out early.”

You smile and tilt your head, “You rescheduled.. didn’t you?”

He nods, “Yeah, yeah. I just couldn’t have you here alone being miserable, but..” he leans back and pulls you into him, “The owner of the school had something come up, so it worked out.”

He wraps his arms around you and kisses your head, “You feel any better?”

You nod, letting out a content sigh, “Oh yeah. Most of my mood was you not being here.”

He chuckles and rubs your back, “Yeah, I thought so.” He presses a kiss to your forehead, “Do you need anything?”

“Nothing but cuddles please.”

“That I can do.” He lays down, pulling you with him and you lay on his body. He pulls a blanket down from the back of the couch and does his best to cover you both up with it.

“Haven’t you watched this movie like a million times?” Sam laughs and you laugh with him, “Maybe, but it was more for background noise.”

“I see, do you want to watch something else, something new?” He reaches forward and grabs the remote and you shrug, “We can, but you can pick.”

“Okay.”

His fingers gently scratch up and down your back as he clicks through, stopping when he finds something he likes, “How’s this?”

“Works for me.” You smile and cuddle up into him more as he sets the remote down, “I’m glad you came home early.”

“Yeah.” He holds you tighter, “Me too.”

─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ───

Thanks for reading! I love you all so much! Catch you in the next one! 🖤

Likes and reblogs are majorly appreciated!

[shyphonics]

Salad Days Chapter 5: We Are The One

This chapter is certified 18+™ for smut and light mental health crisis (we've all been there... right?)

I'm sorry if I'm rusty lol. Also, I made a tag list! Let me know if you want in :) this is looking like it's gonna be pretty long.

one | two | three | four

It’s your turn for soundcheck now, and… Jesus, you’re actually nervous. It’s been forever since you’ve been nervous.

You’ve played The Strike every week for about a year now, slowly creeping your way from dead Monday shows, to decent Thursday shows, to electric weekend shows.

You’ve worked your ass off to move from the merch table spot in the dark, at the edge of the dance floor, to one of the spots under the lights and the AC unit.

You know every person here, at least by face, and they know you. Either from the band or the bar. Except for Rodrick and his friends, that is.

You’ve never headlined before, though, and something about your first time is making you shaky.

So, here you stand, face to face with yourself in the bathroom mirror. Jessica, your lead guitar, is against the wall, cool as can be in her vinyl pants. She blows out a long puff of smoke, and fluffs out her short, green hair with one hand.

“We’re gonna be fine. It’s like any other night.”

But it’s not like any other night, not to you.

Is it Rodrick? Are you trying to impress him? That’d be really fucking stupid. You don’t do what you do to impress people.

That, and you’re pretty sure he’d be impressed no matter what you do.

But…

You don't quite know what's happening to you, whether it's how good he’d looked on stage, or the feelings that overcame you when that douchebag sucker-punched him.

Maybe it's a combination of both.

On stage, he'd been sexy and self-assured. Playing those drums like it was nothing. Making your heart flutter with a wink and a smile, like you were a dumb lovestruck teenager at her first concert again.

After that guy had hit him… he got vulnerable. He'd looked so sad, defeated almost. Hurt, not just physically, but emotionally. It made you wonder if those two had a history. It made you want to latch onto him and make him all better.

It seems like Rodrick, whether he’s aware of it or not, knows just where to hit to take down your walls.

“We gotta go,” Maureen pops her head into the restroom.

You push your little emotional breakthrough back in and take a deep breath.

This isn't the time for that.

You climb the side steps, as you have a hundred times, and start fighting audio cables until everything looks right.

Pink cord goes from amp to overdrive pedal. Black cord goes from tuning pedal to bass.

Fuck. Is that even right? You don’t know anymore.

Low notes come from your amp, and you breathe a sigh of relief.

Everyone else is all set up, and you look around. It’s time.

Soundcheck is quick. Too quick. You adjust your setlist with your foot, and stretch out your fingers.

Eddie pushes his glasses up and gives you a thumbs up.

You just gotta start, and then you’ll be fine.

“Hey fuckers!” Your voice comes out more powerful than you'd expected, “We’re The Shrieks!”

The crowd comes alive. Deep breaths.

The lights are up, the crowd is buzzing and you- wow. You're glowing. You look so confident and fucking cool, all lit up in gold stage lights.

Rodrick watches as you and your bandmates give each other a nod.

A note rings out. A second. A third. A fourth.

The song explodes, and Rodrick’s mouth falls open. You’re hopping, and shaking your hair out, really hyping yourself up.

Then you open your lips. Rodrick is enamored. No high school crush he ever had could compare to how he feels right now. He gives in to the movement of the crowd, and it feels like being in the ocean. Bodies all moving as one.

There’s a smile on his face that just won’t go away. He’s never been to a show quite like this.

He holds on to the front of the stage just to watch you, taking in the absolute power you’re giving off. Trying his best to read your lips and hear every word.

I am the one who brings you the future

I am the one who buries your past

A new species, I come from the ruins

I am the one that was made to last

We are not Jesus (Christ!)

Oh, no, we are not fascist (pigs!)

Oh, no we are not capitalist (industrialists!)

Oh, no, we are not communists

We are the one

We are the one

We are the one

We are the one

The party’s still going, even after everyone has shuffled out and the doors are locked. Mike has commandeered the sound booth and is playing “some shit from the good old days.”

You're up in the storage loft above the stage, wrapping up cables and boxing up mics. You close a tackle box full of neatly rolled cords and notice Rodrick down by the stage.

You sit and just watch him for a minute, trying to figure out if your bathroom mirror crisis was just pre-show jitters.

He looks like he's looking for you, craning his neck around and slowly spinning in place.

He's just such a dork.

You’re not sure if you can even be snarky with him anymore.

It's been a really long time since you had a crush on someone. Especially one like this. You're used to being in control, giving no more of yourself than you want to. For all you know, when you get down there, you'll be giggling like an idiot at his mercy.

Pull yourself together.

“I love this song,” you drop down from the storage loft, hopping off the stage, landing in front of Rodrick. Trying to play it cool.

He jumps when you appear, a smile spreading across his face.

“You were amazing.” He sighs.

“Back at you,” you restrain yourself from grinning.

You're still buzzing with adrenaline, and it spurs you on to try something. You step forward, and clasp your arms behind his neck.

His eyes widen, but after some hesitation, he brings his hands to your waist. The two of you begin to sway, a little uncoordinated, to the music. You look up into his eyes. He looks nervous, but a small smile is beginning to form on his face.

Your giddiness starts to fade away, and you feel a little more in control of yourself.

“Did you go to your prom?” You ask.

“Hell no,” Rodrick scoffs, “Did you?”

“I didn't even graduate,” you laugh, “so no. But it explains why we're kinda bad at this.”

“I don't think we're that bad,” He attempts to spin you. You both break out in a fit of giggles as your back hits his chest and you recenter.

“I wanna do that, like, every weekend forever.” He sighs.

“That's not a hard ask. I can show you some of the other venues when I'm free. You guys will be working the circuit in no time.” You look up at him.

Rodrick’s smile is so genuine. He looks completely content.

The world disappears around you as you get lost in the song, swaying and spinning, staring into each other's eyes. You've never been so glad to have taken a chance on someone.

“How's your lip?” You ask.

“It's okay,”

“Does it hurt?”

“Not really.”

You hesitate, then lean upwards, testing the water.

He seems to be thinking the same thing, and he leans down to meet your lips.

The kiss is warm and familiar, all traces of awkwardness are gone. It feels like you know each other. He brings a hand up to cup your cheek and pulls away.

“So am I allowed to like you now?” His voice is lower than before. He holds you close to him, one arm tight across your lower back.

“You feel like you could pass a field sobriety test?” You smirk.

“Yeah?” Rodrick raises an eyebrow.

“Okay. You're allowed.”

He laughs, rolling his eyes, and leans in to kiss you again, but you both quickly turn to the sound of someone clearing their throat. It's one of his bandmates, the blonde one. He's avoiding looking at either of you.

“Hey, Rodrick, uh, you two…” He clears his throat again, “The other bands invited us out to eat, and we were gonna go… but it looks like you're busy.”

Rodrick blinks at you, “Are you gonna go?”

“Yeah, let's go. You should get some carbs in you. Soak up all that booze, or you're gonna have a bad morning.” You detach from him, and walk towards the back door.

Your car is parked right next to their van, and Rodrick looks like he's hesitating getting in with his friends. You roll your window down and raise your eyebrow at him.

“Do you… wanna ride with me?”

He looks surprised, “Can I?”

“Yeah, get in.” You lean over and pop the door open, butterflies swirling in your stomach.

He bounces into your passenger seat, beaming.

“You know where to go, right?” You shout into the van. Rodrick’s friends give you a thumbs up.

You roll the window up, and pull out of the parking lot.

Rodrick is drumming on his knees to a song playing in your car. You watch him out of the corner of your eye and smile a little. You think of the day you met him, all pent up energy and rock n roll, baby!

Big, dumb dog.

He moves a hand to your thigh and continues drumming the rhythm. You feel a blush creeping onto your cheeks. His eyes are locked on your thigh as it bounces to the beat.

You pull up outside the old Waffle House, and it looks like you're the first to make it.

“Let's wait,” you sigh, leaning back, turning up the music.

His hand stills on your thigh. You close your eyes, honestly exhausted from the show.

His hand moves upward to rest in the crook of your hip, and the corner of your mouth curls up. You turn your head to look at him.

“What're you doin’?”

“Nothing,” he says, trying to sound inconspicuous.

Rodrick’s heart is going a mile a minute. He'd been so confident back at the bar, but here, with you, just you, he’s freaking out a little.

He studies your face in the glow of an orange street light. Your eyes, the slope of your nose, the curve of your lips. He wants every feature burned into his memory forever. His hand is warm against your hip. You put your hand over his and he smiles.

“What, did you get scared or something?” You smirk.

“No…” Rodrick lies.

You kiss him again, and he melts into it. He slips one hand into the back of your hair and pulls you closer. You maneuver over the center console to get in his lap, and he breathes out deeply. The kiss gets messy, like all the energy of the night is coming out between your lips. Your hands are shaking. One rests on Rodrick’s shoulder, the other in his hair, and you make a noise as he bites your lip lightly.

“Sorry, is that okay?” He whispers.

You pull him in, and bite him back harder.

He groans, and his hold on your waist tightens.

He's snaking a hand under the hem of your shirt, when there's a tentative knock on the window. You pull away from each other.

“God dammit!” Rodrick pants.

It's Ward, with a hand over his mouth, feigning being scandalized.

“Oooooooh,” he taunts, when you're both out of the car, “I knew it.”

You roll your eyes, and keep the door open with your foot as the guys pour in. People from the show are everywhere, this is a decently common occurrence. You find a seat between your band and Rodrick’s at the bar. Maureen, your drummer, offers you a fist bump, and leans into your ear.

“He's cute,” she whispers, “did you drive here with him?”

You nod, suppressing a goofy grin.

“Do you think you're gonna…?”

You shrug.

“Up to him,” you whisper back.

The waitress, a blonde with a buzz cut and a face full of piercings, greets you by name, and asks, “Usual?”

Once your orders are in, Rodrick puts his hand securely on your thigh.

“Do you guys come here a lot?”

“Oh yeah, at least every weekend,” you lower your voice, “That's Jeanine, she's our regular. Then Martin and Rosie, who have worked here since the beginning of time. Then there's Carla. She's new. Last weekend, she and Martin were fighting because she kept getting orders wrong.”

He narrows his eyes and looks at each person you point at.

“Do you just come here to eavesdrop?” he asks quietly, suppressing a laugh.

“It's fascinating. Just watch.”

The two of you eat in silence and observe the inner workings of Waffle House.

Rodrick nudges you as Carla scrapes a plate into the trash, and Martin yells, Dammit, Carla! Chunked and covered! Not scattered!

Carla throws her apron to the floor and flips him off with both hands. Fuck you, old man!

“Oh shit,” you whisper.

“Damn,” Rodrick turns to look at you.

As your eyes meet, and the bell on the door jingles aggressively, you can't hold in your laughter anymore.

"He's such an asshole." Rodrick whispers, giggling in disbelief. Does every diner job just suck ass?

"I know, this Waffle House is under a dictatorship," you laugh

You both calm down, and end up just staring at each other.

“Rodrick, I don't wanna be too… forward, but…” you trail off.

His face goes blank.

“Do you wanna… get out of here? With me?”

Rodrick drops his fork, and snatches his tab off the counter.

“Yes,” his voice is feverish.

You follow behind him, and wave goodbye to everyone on your way out.

You'll absolutely get teased for this later on, but who gives a fuck?

Now, I've drunk a lot of wine and I'm feeling fine

Gotta race some cat to bed

Oh, is there concrete all around?

Or is it in my head?

Rodrick’s hands are on you the moment you shut your front door.

He backs you up against it, bringing his lips to yours once again. His lips creep down to your jaw, then your neck. Then he's on his knees, pushing the hem of your shirt up, kissing your stomach, your hip bones.

Your hands are in his hair, stroking and tugging.

“I don't know what it is about you,” Rodrick murmurs between kisses, “I just knew, I had to…”

“Me too,” you laugh a little, “I'm not usually this easy.”

He grins deviously up at you, undoing your bottoms.

“So you don't bring someone home like this after every show?” He gives your waist a little bite.

“No, god, no,” you chuckle, “this should be too fast, but something about this, you just feel right."

“Why me?” He pauses, looking up at you.

“You're just,” you look down at him. His dark doe eyes drill into yours, plump lips slightly open. You feel his hot breath on you, and it sends a shiver up your spine, “Jesus, you're just fucking hot. And you're not, like, an asshole about it. You could've taken any girl in that bar home tonight.”

“I wanted you,” his lips twitch, and without hesitation, he lifts you up, and sets you back down on your kitchen counter. He plants soft kisses on your thighs, and pauses to look up at you. It makes your head cloudy.

“Can I try something?” His voice is breathy.

You're still recovering from the shock of being lifted like that.

“Yeah,” you say, in slight disbelief, looking down at him.

He plants a kiss on your panties, and then removes them completely. You heartbeat skyrockets.

“I might be kinda bad, but… I've always wanted to try.”

You watch him gaze over your wetness. You truly cannot believe what's happening right now. He looks lustful, but focused, like he's trying to form a plan. Then without warning, he just dives in.

You hadn't expected much from him, but damn, he knows what he's doing. A shocked moan leaves your lips.

Your body feels electric as he snakes his tongue through your folds, finding all the places that make you whimper. He grunts, and you practically feel it reverberate through your whole body. You wrap your legs around his head and pull him closer. His tongue circles your clit and you throw your head back. His plush lips cover so much ground as he gives you a light suck.

“You sure you've never done this before?” Your weak voice teases him.

He pulls away with a pop, making you shudder.

“Nuh-uh,” he shakes his head, “I’ve just thought about it a lot.”

“Well, you're doing fucking great.”

He gives you a sly grin and goes back in.

Your back starts to arch as he flicks, and sucks, and swirls his tongue. Your moans mix with his soft grunts and you realize you're starting to come undone. You grab a handful of his hair and roll your hips.

“Keep going,” you gasp, “I-I’m…”

His eyes flick up to meet yours and that does it. Your body jolts, and you squeeze your eyes shut as an orgasm rattles through you, the counter cool against your body.

He slows his actions, and comes to rest on your thigh again.

When you're recovered, you sit up, and put your hands on his shoulders. You kiss him hard, tasting yourself, and feel a new arousal awaken in you.

“Was that really okay?” His eyes plead with you.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” You pant, holding his face in your hands, and he looks bashful, “Best I've ever had.”

You hop down from the counter.

“Your turn.”

“Are you sure?” He stutters.

You take him by the hand, and lead him across the small apartment to your bed.

Rodrick’s breath is shaky as he leans against the edge.

“Take your shirt off,” you tell him, and he does.

His eyes are hazy with lust, and he grunts when you kiss him. You run your hands over his chest. The muscles in his core are tight, and you can feel his heartbeat. Hard and fast.

You kneel, and your hands find the tight bulge in his jeans. He bites his lip as you unbuckle his belt and free him from his boxers.

It's a good length, fairly weighty, and he groans when you take it in your hands. You look up into his eyes and lightly roll your tongue over the tip. His knees buckle, and he sits back on your bed. You chuckle and scoot closer, steadying yourself between his legs.

“So… safe to assume you've never done this either?”

You fit him further into your mouth, trying to wet as much as you can.

“One time… almost,” he says, labored, “we were in a car and the cops knocked on the window.”

“Fuckin’ pigs,” you shake your head, then take him in as far as you can get him.

He lets out a long, low noise. You grasp the rest of his length with your hand and pump lightly. His thigh shakes under your other hand as you swirl your tongue.

You catch his eye and come up for air, licking him from base to tip. His eyes roll back, and you laugh.

“Should I keep going, or is this gonna take you out of commission?” You tease.

“Please… keep going,” Rodrick breathes.

His mind is foggy as he feels himself enter your mouth again. He can't even process what he's feeling, all he knows is he never wants it to stop. He doesn't feel in control of his own body. His hands desperately search for a grip on your comforter as you bob your head.

He tries his best to focus, to keep his eyes on you, but he feels something in himself start to slip. He throws his head back and closes his eyes, barely keeping himself up on his elbows. His legs tremble as he feels himself hit your throat and he lets out a long moan.

Then your mouth is gone, and he opens his eyes, desperate for the feeling to come back.

You crawl on top of him and straddle him.

“Scoot back,” you murmur, and he obliges.

You lean down to kiss him, and his hands come to rest gently in your hair.

Something still feels weird in his head. He doesn't think he's drunk anymore, but even the low light of your apartment feels too bright. His ears are ringing, maybe still from the noise of the bar. He feels his heart start to beat out of his chest, and he holds on to you for dear life.

It feels like he's dreaming, but maybe as long as his hands are on you, he'll be okay.

You're saying something. The words don't quite reach him, but he nods anyway. Eager for something to pull him back into reality.

A little voice in the back of his head is hissing. He tries to blow it off, but it's persistent, fighting him.

You don't deserve this.

Fuck his stupid brain. He wants to be present with you. He wants to hold onto every little second of this, keep it forever. It feels like you're far, far away from him, even as he watches you take your shirt off and feels your hips, warm on his.

The ringing in his ears subsides a little as your lips touch his again.

“Let me know if you want to stop, you look a little overwhelmed.” You whisper.

“No,” Rodrick urges, “I never wanna stop,”

You laugh, and start to kiss a trail down his chest.

He sighs into the feeling and closes his eyes.

The fuzz in his head isn't gone, though.

Yet.

It'll go away, he knows it.

He just needs to focus. On you, on how good you're making him feel.

On how good he'd made you feel, he's pretty damn proud of that.

Just stay in the moment.

Please, just stay in the moment.

And now I'm ready to close my eyes

And now I'm ready to close my mind

And now I'm ready to feel your hand

And lose my heart on the burning sand

And now I wanna be your dog

And now I wanna be your dog

And now I wanna be your dog

Well, c'mon

~

tag list: @crumpets-are-better-with-jam

[crabsnpersimmons]

💕Positivity prime time! Share five things you love about yourself, four things you're excited about, OR three people you care deeply about and why. Pass this along to someone whose posts make you smile💕

(I got this ask and YOUR posts make me smile but I'm shy so I'm sending it through ask, I hope that's ok!)

aww thank you sweet anon! i’m glad my posts can make you smile 💕💕

let's see, i'll go with 4 things i'm excited about:

i’m excited about getting to key plot points in my fic “New ‘Do, Same You” and people (hopefully) noticing the clues i’ve been leaving in my art 🥰 the hairdresser AU has lore, and i can't. wait.

i’m excited to introduce more of my AUs! i’m working on a masterlist and that will give everyone a sneak preview of all of them, including my DCA OCs.

i’m excited to try making stickers or keychains! i’ve always wanted to make merch of my art, even if it’s just for myself, but if there’s interest it would be cool to sell them too! a friend recommended me a manufacturer so i’ve been eager to give it a try. my worries lie in the logistics side of things because of my lack of experience—like figuring out how to sell them online, how online payment works, and figuring out shipping. but it’s something i’ll figure out eventually. i have some designs in mind, but i gotta figure out the logistics first 😅

i’m excited to draw. when i was still figuring out my career, i was often asked “what is the thing that gets you out of bed in the morning”… and i never had an answer for it (besides yknow, “the feeling of anxiety/obligation to fulfill my responsibilities”) thankfully, my art is not my career, but it is what gets me out of bed in the morning. each morning i wake up thinking what i’m going to draw today. and i’m happy i have a job that is flexible enough that it allows me to have time to draw. and the fact that my drawings can make people smile—like you, sweet anon!—is such a joy.