#when will shiv straight up ask are you and greg fucking?

[gregoftom]

scenes that make you go hmmm

[endgameinthenorth]

What truly shocks me most is Greg's 180 shift around Tom. Gone are my doubts that Greg's merely putting up with Tom, not attracted to him or that Greg's actually straight. Amazingly, the more straight Greg tries to act the less I believe it.

I honest to God thought it would be more subtle in their shifted dynamics, but it's been a few months since the last episode and apparently Tom and Greg are occasionally out getting drinks together. Greg is being mentioned by Shiv like he's the other woman. Things have shifted more dramatically than I envisioned since we last saw them. I knew it was coming, it was teased in interviews that the power dynamic may be be shifting. Greg is going to be the one this season pushing Tom in the direction he wants.

We saw glimpses of it at the end of last season with Greg telling Tom to "prove it" when Tom said he fucks like a bullet train; Tom was out of his depth to respond. It was the most forthcoming and direct Greg had ever been in a scene. Almost like what he really wanted was shining through. We saw Greg casually call Tom, "Tommy" with a pat on the back just before he sold his soul to Tom. They seemed more at ease with one another, like Greg finally felt comfortable in his place at Tom's side.

And now the first thing we see of them this season is Greg greeting Tom by sliding up his body and in his personal space in every possible scene, whispering in his ear. He's more open, acting silly and smiling.

Bridget-Random-Fuck (who it sounds like didn't even make him cum) was just there by all appearances to get a jealous reaction out of Tom. She didn't have any status so it wasn't like he was climbing her on his way to a better conquest. She was another notch like the rest. So what's with all the posturing?

Last season, he speaks of falling head over heels for a woman and then has no true motivation and follow through. But he gushed to Tom all about her and got a visceral reaction out of him. Unfortunately Tom could not analyze his own emotions and deflected, stating Greg had ruined his mood but not knowing why.

In an interview with Nicholas Braun he hinted at Greg going to the "dark side" and how it was freeing for Greg to no longer feel restricted between what's right and wrong (gay dad causing you to repress?). By all appearances this so far has manifested as Greg being given permission to actually be more authentic with his feelings towards Tom. The women are just a necessary part and have an undercurrent of, "aren't I great - aren't you jealous?" He is in Tom's space, he wants Tom's approval. He wants Tom. He just needs to feel like he's allowed to... I imagine with the divorce eminent he feels closer to obtaining him. Perhaps Greg will be the unhinged one this season.

In season one when he asked if Tom was trying to seduce him and Tom said he was, that hair tuck bashful reaction? I don't think that was a coincidence — that was an intentional filming choice. Now I really truly see it.

[gemsofthegalaxy]

seriously i mean this for real, "Just- I haven't seen you smile in like 6 hours" is an underrated line, like. you don't say shit like that to someone you don't at least consider a friend i think?? and i feel like Tom vehemently hated hearing that someone would notice something like that and call him out on it. This, after weeks on end of him repeatedly pleading for Shiv to care he might be going to prison, and never finding out the things she did do to keep him safe, leaving him feel so absurdly unloved.

then Greg notices he hasn't smiled in hours and asks him why.

Tom insists he IS happy but reacts so poorly in the next couple minutes, and yet Greg never stops trying. when Tom brings it up again being like "wow gee Greg you really are happy what the fuck is up with that", Greg is like "Uh. Tom, we can both be happy?" and then Tom insists he can't because Greg ruined it by- what, talking about having a date with a girl? TOM! like. come on.

What does that say other than he's jealous of Greg, and maybe it's just at the idea that Greg might end up in a more functional relationship than his own, if not straight up jealous because he wants Greg romantically. i think, at the very least, he's upset that Greg's attention is being pulled from him.

Yet moments prior Greg just tried to ask how he was he basically tells him to fuck off, like, Tom. my darling? his attention was just on you and you rebuffed him, but you're pissed at him for talking about someone else.

the thing is, I do think Tom does recognize what he has in Greg and his own depth of feelings in return just........ scares the shit of out him. Especially in this scene and "you've ruined [my happiness]" like. Tom's damned if he does, damned if he doesn't when it comes to Greg. Can't see him be with other people, can't have him for himself.

[twinge-of-cosmicangst]

Ok so here’s my thinking, Tom has feelings and sexual attraction for Greg, I have no doubt about that because of the last 3 seasons. I think in terms of requited tomgreg on Greg’s side the possibility was stonger then ever this episode, Greg was extremely touchy and the way he told Tom about his rummage 👀 but if I were to play devils advocate and say that tomgreg is unrequited (I can not play devils advocate completely and say tomgreg is not a thing at all because Tom’s feelings are obvious, it’s in the text) but let’s say that Greg is completely straight and doesn’t feel attraction to Tom, excessive touching can be platonic if you’re just really fond of someone, and him telling Tom about his sexual experiences, can be explained by boasting, but more importantly the need for approval from Tom. Greg has been seeking Tom’s approval for a long time, but it was more obvious this episode and before it was mainly from a career perspective, but now it’s from a personal life perspective as well.

Logan homophobically asked Greg “Where’s your old man?” But where is his dad actually, and where’s his mother? She isn’t exactly mother of the year either, she refused to give him any money when he was literally homless and then maxed out the credit card he gifted her when she thought things might go wrong for him when he was team Kendall! As for his Grandpa, Greg probably thinks the man hates him after greenpeace (even if he doesn’t, like Logan, Ewan doesn’t seem the best at showing his love) It may have been a pathetic and funny moment when Greg said to Kerry “I’m like an honoury kid” but it’s actually quite sad because as fucked up as the Roy’s are they're the closest thing Greg has got to family at the moment, even though Logan just tolerates him, I’m assuming Ken, Shiv and Rome actively dislike him now, Connor seems to like him a bit but they’re hardly close “Who has ever looked after you in this fucking family?” So in fact Tom may actually be the closest thing Greg has to family. Greg wants Tom to look after him, Greg wants Tom’s approval, Tom is about 12 to 16 years older then Greg, it is very possible that Greg views Tom as a sort of father figure, as fucked up as their relationship is.

If Greg keeps on having these girlfriends of the week, then he is going keep seeking Tom’s approval of them, but they will never get his approval for obvious reasons, but what if one of Greg’s girlfriends clocks onto Tom and confronts Greg about it “It’s so obvious that you want Tom to approve of me, but guess what asshole? He’s never going to approve of any of your girlfriends because he’s a closeted freak, whose in love with your ass!” If Greg does see Tom as a father figure but then realises that Tom is in love with him/sexually attracted to him, it would obviously seriously fuck him up, especially considering his real dad is gay and parallels Tom in more ways then one, as they were both in failing marriages with a Roy woman. It would be incredibly sick and twisted if they went there, but I think it would be consistent with the themes of the show.

[meezer]

succession s4e5 spoilers

and I'm back. OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD I'M SO EXCITED FOR THEIR PLAN. YES. YES YES. FUCK MATTSON FUCK HIM RIGHT UP. OH MY GOD. I HOPE THIS WORKS OUT. IF THEY FUCK THIS UP AND GO BACK TO SQUARE ONE I WILL ACTUALLY CRY.

ken and rome hug incident 5 billion healed and 2 hundred revived

OH NO. OH NO. SHIV AND MATTSON. I DON'T LIKE THIS. NO NO NO. NOT A FAN OF THESE VIBES.

what if we all threw up and cried forever.

HALF A LITER FROZEN BLOOD BRICK GFLGKJDFJKGJKDFG OKAY. I KNEW. OKAYL. I KNEW HE WAS GONNA SAY IT'S EBBA LIKE 5 SECONDS BEFORE HE SAID IT. FUUUUCK AM I THE GREATEST MIND OF THIS GENERATION OR WHAT

GREG AND JESS MOMENT YET AGAIN. OMNG I LOVE JESS' JACKET!! AHAHAHA OH MY GOD KENDALL. THE KENDALL AND GREG SCHEMING FUUUUCK PLEASE GREG DO NOT FUCK THIS UP.

OMG NO FUCKING WAY SHIV WHO WOULD DO SUCH A THANG?!?!?

tom? TOM?? FUCKING TOM?! A?????? SHIV?!?!? can you guy CAN YOU GUYS STOP???W. WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!

HE IS LOOKING SO CUNT (complimentary) GODDDD THE LIGHTING. EVEN WITH THE JACKET PSEUDO-BOOB (happens to me a lot too it's okay ken)

the roman meltdown over the photo connor sent of their dad......... oh I'm hurt that is horrible

they should push him off. they should push him off. hey? they should push him off the mountain.

HUGE FAN OF THIS MONOCHROME BROWN OUTFIT. HE WORE IT FOR ME, SPECIFICALLY, KNOWING IT'S MY FAVORITE COLOR. and transmasc swag also. they put him in the brown outfit and transmasc swag as well.. really hope things stay good for this dope soul.

OH. kill yourself NOWWW.

opps forced him to have a whimsical day in a picturesque scandinavian landscape OH MY GOD WHAT IS AHPPENING OH MY GOD. THE. WHEN. I THOUGHT HTAT. NO. NO THEY DID NOT FUCK THIS UP. THEY DIDN'T. NO NO NO NO NO. FUCK? OH MY GOD? OH MY OGd? I THOUGHT THEY FU. IT'S. IT WORKED. WHAT THE FUCK. ROMAN AND KENDALL YOU ARE FUCKING UNBELIEVABLE DUUUUUDES AHHGHGHFHGFDG

D'AWWWH

(those subtitles are karl speaking) KENDAAAAAAAALL YOU MADMAN YOU OH MY GOD

JESS I'M SO DRUNK JEEEEESSS

AND SHIV ASKING TOM TO GO OUT FOR DINNER.... KICKING A DOG TO SEE IF IT COMES BACK!!!!!!! FUCK!!!!!

THE FACES KJGLFSDKJLGDFGFGKF

WAIT. WAIT WAITWAIT WAIT. SO LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT. KENDALL AND ROMAN WANT TO FUCK THE DEAL, BUT MATSSON FIGURES IT OUT. ROMAN FREAKS OUT ON HIM. WHEN THEY'RE ON THE PLANE BACK, MATSSON CALLS TO OFFER 192 A SHARE. THE OLD HEADS CELEBRATE. AND THEN "JESS GOT HER HANDS ON" THE KILL LIST OF PEOPLE MATSSON WANTED TO GET RID OF, AND IT'S ALL THE OLD HEADS EXCEPT KAROLINA AND GERRI. HRM. HUH. OKAY. OKAY. 5D CHESS. SO, ARE THEY GONNA SELL??? ARE THEY NOT GONNA SELL BECAUSE THE OLDHEADS ARE GONNA BE OPPOSING IT FOR SURE?? THE ROYS WERE DRINKING CHAMPAGNE AT THE VERY END, SO UH. WHAT HAPPENED GUYSSSSS WHAT'S GOING ON

[ebbarights]

living+ liveblog under cut

had a good day then a bad day then went for a run and now it's a good day again. let's see if this changes things

logan jumpscare omg

okay i didn't fucking miss him lmao. disregard previous posts

he's against powdering his face because that's gay

literally googled lorene scafaria yesterday bc she directed hustlers and her name sounded familiar only to realise i know her as bo burnham's partner kms

barefoot swede tw

matsson with his affected lisp maybe you should hang out with roman instead of shiv who's too good for you

i have skarsgård stockholm syndrome (lol) bc i've seen him in soo many things lately

the first meeting me when i lie

TWEETS AND DRUG RUMOURS glass houses ken

a friend sent me a roman fancam the other say bc i told her he's my favourite character and it kind of annoyed me a tiny bit bc. that's not what this is but also. lbr. it's exactly what this is

roman facial tic comeback!! honestly my favourite thing kieran does

i want someone to do a hug counter per episode/season when this is all over this one is off the charts

shivyyy :'((((

roman you're not ready to fuck. you never are and i love that about you

ANNABETH GISH????????? MY LOVE

why does she give him advice about grief tho. 'it just hasn't hit you yet'? she's right but that's a really weird thing to say to a stranger

sidenote i have german subtitles on this episode because i was eating and they're the only ones available and. everybody is using like. the formal you? and that's so weird. i don't think they should do that. they're all using first names

the segregation comment should be so telling for those guys who think roman is actually right-wing. he knows shit about all ideologies he just doesn't give a shit!! (that would be very bad irl but in the show i think that's an important distinction)

roman you can't just fire people because you brought it up

is ... the presentation that day? and kendall wants to build a house? dude do you know anything about anything

who is tk. shiv lore unlocked

i used to play something like bitey with a friend in school but with. i think it's called indian burn in english? don't think that name's okay but idk what else you would call it

why is greg there

kendall looks exhausted

roman with the you're fired is like a little kid who just learned a new trick

oooh no i know that gerri outfit i know what comes next :(

this conversation hurts but also this is lifeblood to me

oh so it wasn't your dad will wash you away it was the money. that's such clever editing

roman's on such a power trip it's crazy. maybe post-grieve a little that'll make you feel better

the way he immediately regrets it and his mouth when kendall says he shouldn't is actually killing me dead

tomshiv wouldn't survive a day in a trailerpark

kendall sounds so sad when he talks about the clouds

kendall baby you're so manic and the sibs totally know it

roman pulls him out of it straight onto the other side and then leaves him alone with it that's horrible. i get it but it's horrible

is the fingers to the forehead thing a grounding technique

it's still so crazy to me that their dad just died. like JUST died. and now they have to do shit like this because the company's toast otherwise. something capitalism something humanity etc

ROMAN HUGGING THE HUGE PILLOW LMAOOO

maybe i'm an idiot but why would the guy ask him about matsson's tweet that he obviously hasn't seen?

somebody stop this how long will kendall talk about the tweet this is on l to the og level

literally laughed out loud when roman showed hugo that matsson deleted the tweet

roman in the car 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

(though the people who said roman was seriously genuinely for real horny listening to that make me fucking angry. necrophiliac believer bullshit)

the MUSIIIIIIIC

[turtlesallthewaytomgreg]

thinking about the absolute razor precision of greg's people pleasing here.

throughout the episode, we see the other characters absolutely flop at this. like when kendall offers nate better publicity in the election cycle but it comes off so desperate that nate makes fun of him for it (i.e,. 'he's pitching me,' 'loves to get laid at a party'). or shiv helping mattson with pr hoping for a pretty pay off, only for mattson to brush her off. and tom's pretty egregious flop, straight up asking mattson 'what would you prefer i be' or whatever and getting called out on it (e.g., kissing my ass, etc.).

but greg's pulls off what no one else in the family is able to do; code-switch/ people please without the other person catching it.

he gets to see tom's obsequious/"i'm here to serve" thing fail hard, and so who does he become? mr. stone cold killer, slim reaper, 'slit their fucking throats.' and when mattson questions the authenticity of this persona, greg weaves a (seemingly) reliable narrative.

this might be his greatest skill. kendall needs ratfucker sam to smoke weed with mattson and throw him off the deal trail? fuck yeah man, bro shake chest bump throw in some extra f bombs for good measure. marcia hates kerri? wow, hear comes the water works, right? logan needs someone to roast him? where are your kids, man?

and of course we see this, so fucking blatantly, at the wedding in tuscany when he’s courting comfrey and the contessa at the same time; the literal flip from 'i love weddings' to 'kill me now, right?' in the same frame.

and so sure, i could see a world where the show reveals that the entire time with tom, he's been trying to 'look like he cares' when he really doesn't.

and yet, at the same time, there have been so many moments this season when greg could've been people pleasy with tom and chose not to be. like walking away from tom's bitchy comment about not drinking coffee at the party, or pushing back a bit when tom tried to use him as a punching bag in norway. greg won't do it anymore.

sure, it could be because he doesn't see any opportunity within that relationship. but i think it could also be because he's striving for something more authentic with tom. allowing himself to actually look annoyed or upset or walk away, because that's what you do when you genuinely care about someone.

you don't just play the roll they want you to play, you're honest with them, in the way that greg is growing more honest with tom.

so yes, i can totally see a world where 'ha ha suprise suckers greg was just using tom he doesn't give a shit about him' sure. but i can also see the show making a point that greg is extremely intentional, about not using this strategy when he's with tom, to show, really quite starkly, that this is the one person he doesn't see as 'just another rung on the date ladder.'

anyways.

exactly how i wanted it to look-as

[ezlebe]

If you're still doing prompts: have you ever thought about witches?

Greg peeks his head out of the elevator, peering across the floor beyond it with a flat sweep of his tongue along his lip. He doesn’t see anything out of place – cubicles are collectively unadorned, the windows are flat and undecorated, and only one evident, undesirable thing lurks the waiting area. He steps out, giving into an unwise impulse, and hurries to the center of the collected loungers.

“Look who it is,” Roman jeers, barely glancing up from his phone, swiping a few more times on it, even as he stretches back in the chair with a taunting, outward flap of his hands. “What’s got your panties in a twist, world’s biggest traitor?”

“I – ” Greg exhales a harsh breath through his nose, glancing sideways to confirm the collective assistants are busy. “Like, I maybe lost my familiar?”

“What?” Roman says, slowly raising a brow while mean laugh builds at the edge of his voice. “Wait. You bring it work?”

“She comes,” Greg mutters, scratching at the top of his lip with another glance around the inner lobby, but nothing stands out; he wouldn’t put it past her to lead him down to Roman in such a roundabout way, but that doesn’t seem to be the case. “Except now she isn’t in my office and I can’t – ” He spins a finger next to his head. “Can you? All I’m getting is like Uncle Logan… an-and you, so.”

Roman rolls his eyes while rising from the lounger with gratuitous dramatics, scrunching his whole face up, then throwing both his hands out. He keeps that way for a beat, then shakes his head with a decisive turn, hands crossing over his chest. “Jackshit.”

Greg wets then bites his lower lip. “Fuck.”

“Maybe it went home,” Roman says, curling one leg over a knee where he leans into the arm of the chair. “I bet your familiar is just as good as you at doing exactly what it isn’t supposed to.”

“I believe you are, um –” Greg crosses his own arms over his stomach. “Are confusing me with yourself.”

Roman narrows his eyes while a sneer curls across his mouth. “Really? I thought you wanted my help.”

Greg tightly sets his jaw, but he has spent the last hour looking for a piece of his soul, and Roman is… slightly preferable help to Logan. He reluctantly drops his head in apology, but he like really isn’t going to say it.

Roman exhales a wheezy sort of exasperation. “You’re lucky I’m fucking bored.”

“You’re not even supposed to be here,” Greg says, glancing around the lobby while briefly lifting his arm from his elbow to gesture around it. “I – I could tell Ken. And Shiv.”

“I’m the man on the inside,” Roman insists, leaning forward with a tilt of his chin and a raise of an eyebrow.

“You’re like…” Greg wets his lips. “Just stalking Gerri, aren’t you?”

“No, fuck you,” Roman says, sitting back up with a dismissive, defensive scoff.  “I have a scheduled meeting with the Odinson.”

“Sure,” Greg mutters, digging his fingers into his own ribs. “If you, like… say so.”

“Hey, at the moment, I don’t have anything else to do but make sure you don’t get us all tied to posts and turned into screaming sparklers.”

Greg steps back, as Roman bounds up from the chair in front of him. “No one would like do that to your dad.”

Roman raises his brows with a sneer. “Who do you think is the one fucking doing it to us?”

Greg flattens his mouth with an assenting, sideways glance of his eyes.

Roman sucks at his teeth, then gestures outward with a sweeping, patronizing wave, turning on his heels in a spin and marching toward the elevators. “Let’s just try the first place I would look.”

“Is it some sort of torture chamber?” Greg asks, under his breath, as he warily steps into an elevator behind Roman.

“Hah!” Roman says, leaning sideways on his toes with a scoff that’s almost a hiss. “Close.”

Greg narrows his eyes at the floor button that Roman smacks, then feels his mouth tighten, on that floor, when Roman marches through the hall, past Greg’s office and straight for a familiar corner. “I checked Tom’s office,” he mutters, hoping the before everywhere else is so unspoken that Roman doesn’t pick up on it at all. “It’s not – “

“Did you… Did you?” Roman interrupts, raising his brows with a tight lean forward a cock of his chin. “Because I’m spying an extra one of those freaky little teeter toys that he stole from Bill?”

Greg furrows his brow, peering into the office and seeing, to some embarrassment, there is another sitting on the file cabinets – a sort of classical witch on a broom with a little rusty cat at the weighted end. He reaches out in a mumbled whisper, trying to grab her attention, but the toy doesn’t move and he still can’t feel her at all.

“I can’t feel –”

“Neither can I, but it’s obvious,” Roman says, gesturing with a tetchy shove of his hand toward the witch toy. “So you better fucking thank me.”

Greg feels a sneer build softly at his lip. “Like, why? I would’ve – ”

“Dare I ask what the fuck you two are doing?” Tom says, voice somehow booming through the windowed wall, despite how he’s not even looking up. “If you’re spying on me, I don’t think you could be any worse at it.”

Roman is quiet a beat, then exhales a bizarrely diffident laugh. “The divorce kind of made the milquetoast bastard more intense, didn’t it?”

Greg feels his jaw set slightly, glancing sharply through the corner of his eye at Roman.

“Gregory?” Tom says, with a softer tone in more of a lilt.

“Master calls,” Roman says, scuttling back with a wheezy, taunting scoff, as he throws a marked glance over his shoulder to look past Greg into the office. “Get your best footstool ready.”

Greg rolls his eyes, looking forward while reaching out to shove the handle. He glances toward the witch toy, twitching his nose to boost the quiet nudge, but not even that garners so much as a hum. “Hey, um – ”

“Odd to see you two palling around,” Tom interrupts, turning his head with a sweep of his eyes away from the monitor, as a dubious, flat smirk settles across his mouth. “Ken lose the coveted favorite cousin spot?”

“Hah, no,” Greg says, carefully closing the door behind him, then hastily looks up as he shakes his head. “I mean, I don’t really have a favorite?”

“Uh-huh,” Tom intones, dubious, propping his head up with two knuckles under his jaw.

“I was just looking for – ” Greg says, glancing toward the toy, then feels his mouth press into a line when it starts to rock. “Uh, for something.”

Tom raises a brow. “Oh?”

“Yeah, um,” Greg says, as he swallows hard, jerking his chin toward the set of skyhook toys. “I think maybe it’s that actually – uh, that new toy?”

Tom raises a brow and glances toward the cabinet, then does a double take and narrows his eyes with a click of his tongue. “Huh.”

Greg takes a step forward, reaching out with a further point at it. “Could I just – I think this got delivered to your office instead of mine?”

“Yours?” Tom says, looking back with a marked tilt of his head.

“I do not believe that is, um – ?” Greg scoops the toy carefully into his arms.

“Wait,” Tom says, voice lifting with a different, odder sort of disbelief. It’s the sort that threatens to grow into a tetchy threat-joke, a demands for explanation, and a general dip in the quality of the day. “Greg, wait a minute.”

“I’ll just take it, like,” Greg says, hurriedly, turning without looking anywhere back toward the desk, because it is really always harder to lie directly to Tom’s face, even if he always somehow believes him, though that’s probably just his run of luck. He reaches out around the toy and toward the door to pull it open. “I think maybe someone just – ”

He squeezes the toy to his chest in shock as the door shoves him back into the office and the windows proceed to gain a thick layer of washy grey.  “Uh…” He intones, staring at the door, then glances toward the curtain of dark to see it stretches all across the outside windows. “Okay, s-s-so. Oh.”

Tom leans back in his chair, raising his hands off his keyboard with a slide down the desk to his lap. He is silent for a few breaths, then slowly raises a brow. “Can I get a ballpark, at least, of the amount of secrets you’re keeping from me?”

“Uh, uhm.” Greg says, then fumbles and looks down in shock, as Enid slips back into the body of a cat with a quite crack. “You’re, um… So did you?”

“Please tell me this is from your father’s side?”

Greg rolls his head back and forth, as he clears his throat. “Like… No, not entirely?”

Tom takes a breath and rolls his eyes up at the ceiling with a poke of his tongue against his cheek.

“You’re really good at, um – at keeping on the down low, as it is said,” Greg says, feeling a small pout push at his lower lip. “…Somehow.”

Tom tips his head down with a smirk and a click of his tongue. “You upset someone is more subtle than you, Greg?”

Greg shakes his head, though he is a little put out that Tom didn’t tell him, even if he knows exactly why – and it isn’t like Tom found him out, either, or anyone else, so like at most they’ve come about even. “I guess you didn’t tell Shiv, though – an-and she didn’t tell you, either. I mean, I get it… Obviously. It – it’s only just the one, after all.”

“I was going to let her know, but I… got a bit of a case of cold feet,” Tom says, voice pitching with a particular brand of pitchy, cheeky humor that reads entirely as false. “I can only assume she had the same problem.”

Greg tilts with head with a slight bite at his lip. He hasn’t really forgotten the guy, or how he… well, it just didn’t seem like Shiv would use her one moment of honesty on Tom, at that point. It was particularly inauspicious, just like the waning moon cycle and not waiting two months until Bealtaine, though this side of the family seems to care far less about that type of thing.

He shoves his nose in between Enid’s shoulders, rocking her slightly, and shoves back an impulsive thought to gauge Tom’s opinion such dates. He has a lot of questions, actually, building up at the back of his throat.

“So were you spying on me?” Tom asks, leaning back in his chair with a sharp narrow of his eyes and few clicks of his tongue. “Because you picked a tremendously boring day. I don’t even have one meeting.”

“What do you – ?” Greg says, then looks down, realizing Tom means with his familiar. “Oh, Enid?”

“Enid,” Tom repeats, low, while a smile flicks across his mouth.

Greg shakes his head, loosening his arms and letting her crawl up across his shoulders. “No, she just sort of likes to wander around.”

Tom grunts quietly, eyes flicking plainly from Greg’s face, to Enid, then back with a short raise of a brow.

“She’s usually a magic eight ball,” Greg says, scratching at the top of her head. “Or a slinky, or a – uh, she was a cup and ball game for a few weeks, once.”

Tom slumps into his desk and slides a hand down his face while offering a bark of a laugh. “Greg.”

“She, like,” Greg says, reaching to grab Enid from his shoulder and smiling when she gives him a green-eyed blink. “She has fun with it?”

“And I’m sure she picks up a thing or two,” Tom says, a bit sharply, and some of the humor is sucked out of the room. “Like another warlock.”

Greg offers a flat sort of grimace. He really doubts that, actually, and thinks it is far more likely that she just wanted to hang out with Tom – she isn’t bound by things like emails and daily reminders.

“Do you think Logan knows?”

“Um, maybe?” Greg says, peeking up at the top floor, then around them at the spell keeping the room private. “Have you, um – like, ever done this before?”

“Fuck,” Tom says, dragging his teeth across his lip, then the spell disappears and light spills back brilliant into the room. “No. But I’ve got a block on the office.”

“Oh,” Greg mutters, as the faint extrasensory hum of what must be Tom’s magic fades, too, now the spell is gone. He gently plucks at the dull familial thread, but doesn’t find anything out of the ordinary. “I guess that’s why we couldn’t feel Enid.”

Tom sharply raises his brows, sitting up with a prying upward tilt of his chin. “He didn’t excommunicate your cousins?”

Greg huffs with a shake of his head, looking down as Enid jumps from his arms onto Tom’s desk and pop-cracks into a Newton’s Cradle. “No, uh… my grandpa would have to do that.”

“Huh,” Tom intones, mouth flattening with a thoughtful frown. “I bet that pisses him off.”

Greg reaches down and starts the Newton’s Cradle with an one-shouldered shrug. “I think… it’s an excuse not to?”

“And you?” Tom asks, now sounding more curious than simply gossipy, then his voice drops with a low reluctant note. “That whole unfortunate circumstance with… your inheritance, after you stayed.”

“Oh man, no,” Greg says, looking up with a wide blink and another, more hurried shake of his head. “It’s not that… I think it used to be bigger deal in Scotland, maybe, but it’s not like a-a real coven? The magic has sort of been replaced with, um – with money, I guess.”

Tom appears oddly perturbed, as if he isn’t like sitting in a corner office rather than trying to be a high priest.

“Not like, entirely?” Greg says, feeling heat behind his ears building in something like embarrassment. “We used to do gatherings, but then my grandma died, and Caroline and Logan got divorced, and my mom had a –  a… Yeah. We didn’t visit anymore.”

Tom takes a breath, as he tilts his head in an indirect nod. “Right. It might be premature to – ”

The door shoves open behind Greg, who takes a step back closer to Tom’s desk, startled at the harried look on the unwelcome intruder’s face. He glances toward Tom, but he seems just as surprised and twice as annoyed.

“Sorry, I – ” Pete looks over his shoulder with a peevishly gesticulating hand. “I couldn’t get a hold of you? We’re having sort of an issue over that new partnership with Summit with Cyd. It’s getting… apocalyptic.”

“About what?” Tom says, voice lifting, eyes glancing to Greg to share a irked look. “It’s a damned investment company, Pete.”

“I guess there’s some concern that… because there’s two guys in one of the ads that they’re a couple?”

“…Oh no,” Tom says, snidely, throwing his hands out in some evident demonstration. “Not two men in an office. Holy shit, we’ve got three right here?!” He turns on Greg with a dramatic gasp, hand flattening against his chest. “Greg, would you welcome Pete to our orgy?”

Greg looks at Pete with a weak laugh and an awkward shrug, as he reaches out and plucks up the Newton’s Cradle. “Welcome?”

~

Greg sets the Newton’s Cradle back onto his own desk, once he’s escaped the radius of Cyd’s sour scowl, who’s actually the one person in the office he would guess is another witch. He plinks at one of the spheres with a downward turn of his mouth. “Did you know?”

Enid pops back into a cat with a stretch, eyes catching on his while her mouth opens in a yawn.

Greg feels the familiar nudge in the back of his head, a general sense of denial, and drops his head across his arms. “Fuck,” he says, then feels an agreement, and lifts his eyes to glare at her. “It’s just messed up.”

He leans back and taps at the space bar, then half-heartedly puts in the password. He’s got a deadline, technically, but any notions of delivery management are losing to the fact Tom is a warlock; he’s been one the whole time. He exhales hard through his nose and taps at his mouth with a pair of fingers, thinking about when he could’ve noticed – the strongest contender is in that diner in the middle of the night, conversation steeped in truths and melancholy, and that meal feeling charged with something dark.

Yeah. The whole place had been empty, too… like something was deterring people from entering it; a depressive-Tom-miasma. He really should’ve connected the dots on it.

He hears the soft waft of his door, and peeks around the monitor just when a few knocks play a beat out against the glass. He glances quickly to Enid, but there’s a pin art box on the corner of the desk and the front of it painted red with a cartoonish cat’s face.

“So,” Tom says, leaning into the arm of a guest chair with a pair of clicks of his tongue. “Oh, do we have a lot to talk about, huh?”

“Probably,” Greg mutters, rubbing hard under his nose with his knuckles, as he presses at the keyboard to lock his screen. “Are you, um – did you tell Logan?”

Tom rocks his head back and forth from shoulder to shoulder, ultimately looking down at the desk, then picks up the pin art box with another click of his tongue. “I should. But Matsson is all but officially at the reins, and I’m divorced from your family – coven, apparently – so… No. I’ll keep it to my chest a bit longer.”

“Cool,” Greg says, finding his hands drifting together, as he watches Tom gently draw his fingers down to put lines into the pins on the box.

“I know we don’t normally agree on this, but if you truly find some angle in it, I won’t judge,” Tom says, as he turns the box over to realign the pins flat, then peers across the desk with a marked tilt of his head and a raised brow. “Not sure how it could be used against me, but I’m… sort of curious.”

“Sure,” Greg says, as he wets his lips, then he hurriedly shakes his head. “I mean, I won’t?”

“Uh-huh,” Tom says, dubious, then tilts his head with a jerk of his head toward one of the neighboring skyscrapers out the window. “…Have you been to the bar in the Woolworth building?”

“Um,” Greg glances toward the clock on the lock screen of his monitor. “Right now?”

“They’ve got coffee, too, you mid-day prohibitionist,” Tom says, raising a brow, as a smirk briefly flits across his face. “But I don’t think we’re coming back.”

Greg widens his eyes, just slightly, “Ever.”

Tom takes a deep breath, mouth now flattening into an unamused moue, as he sets the pin art box back to the desk. “I hate when you play dumb like this, because I really cannot tell, sometimes.”

Greg huffs through his nose and drops his eyes, reaching out to grab the box, which promptly shifts into the form of a pair of red dice. He rolls them between both his palms, then stands up from his chair, and slips them into his pocket. He glances at the docking station, then just grabs his bag; he doesn’t like taking his computer back to the apartment, anyway, it makes him feel like he has to work.

“You’re so old-fashioned, Gregory,” Tom asks, not moving as Greg slips around the other side of the desk. He reaches out, poking boldly right at Greg’s pocket with a taunting tut. “Taking a familiar everywhere. I cannot believe I never noticed.”

“Like, she can be anything?” Greg says, feeling a flush prickle the back of his neck, and reaches up to rub at it with the palm of a hand. “Why not take her with me.”

Tom hums a low, flat note. “Mondale prefers to sleep.”

“Mondale? I – I…” Greg tries to remember if Mondale had ever acted a bit too smart, but mostly he had… Yeah, he had slept. In a cage. “I didn’t even notice.”

“No one was meant to,” Tom says, appearing oddly proud, sweeping his hand back in forth in front of them, as they step into the elevator car. “And the pen kept him out of trouble.”

Greg can’t really imagine keeping Enid in anything, even to keep his cover as a normal. “He could’ve… left, though?”

“He could have, yeah,” Tom says, exhaling a laugh, as he elbows out to nudge Greg in the side, like he’s understood the question more like a joke. “But that would’ve given up the game.”

Greg furrows his brows, looking down at the floor of the elevator with a pinch building his mouth. “Sure.”

“What was Shiv’s?” Tom asks, ducking his head with a curious, prying tilt to his head, as they cross out into the lobby.

“Her and Roman have, um…” Greg wets his lip, a harshly whispered warning never to divulge this sort of thing echoing at the back of his mind, but… Tom had been married to her, right? “This raven that’s not a raven? I think it’s a… uh, a rook. But mostly they’re like… not with them.”

Tom glances up at the sky, slipping sunglasses across his nose. “Huh.”

The bar that Tom leads to has an odd energy to it, as something markedly slips across Greg’s shoulders like a breeze just inside the door. It appears like any other sort of bar, with a curved bartop and a bartender chatting with a few evident regulars near the farthest end, a set of shelves that wind across the back of it, and an espresso machine and grinder closest to the door.

“Something is weird?” Greg says, lowly, and buries an impulse to throw out a ripple of his own energy.

“Oh, can you sense it already?” Tom asks, as he lifts his hand, when the bartender looks over, pointing toward a set of stairs that appear to wind up behind the bar. “I’m surprised you haven’t been, then.”

Greg feels his mouth tighten, along with his shoulders. “Most of the magic I, like – I do is with my mom? And she’s not here, so.”

Tom looks over with a slight pinch to his mouth, similar to the one he’d made earlier when Greg was in his office. “You’ll just have to do a bit with me, then.”

The ascending of the staircase comes with another tingle down Greg's spine, stronger than the entry, then an impossible glass dome for a huge atrium at the head. It’s filled with tables and chairs, a few carts of assorted drinks and pastry milling around on their own, and a few groups of likely magic users huddled around in cliques.

He forces himself to look away from a pair openly doing some kind of magic weaving, to peer out at the city at a view of a far higher perspective than that of a single flight of stairs, and wonders briefly at all the magic he hasn’t even noticed walking by for over a year. It never occurred to him to really go looking – too busy with the family and the company, yeah, but mostly paranoid at a lifetime of comments from his Mom and Grandpa, too. The magic is mostly a quirk, at this point, and… looking for users outside the family just wasn’t something they ever collectively did, and he never got the impression his cousins had either – do they know about this place? ...They didn't know about Tom.

“I haven’t been here in ages,” Tom says, a grin spreading across his face, as he points out a jet through the dome. He looks up to Greg, clapping his shoulder and turning him toward a small table closest to the windows. “Not since before I went out to Asia, hah. They got some good places there, of course, but it’s totally different.”

“Oh,” Greg says, shoving a hand into his pockets and rolling the dice through his palm, back and forth, corners digging into his flesh. “Sure.”

“Hell, if I had known…” Tom clicks his tongue, trailing off, “I can’t believe Logan hasn’t tried to take over part of this industry, too.” He puts on a cartoonish lilt, faking a little bow, and it’s becoming clear Tom is in a really good mood. “High Priest Roy, presiding.”

“Hah,” Greg mutters, pulling the dice from his pocket, as they sit at the table; he looks over his shoulder, but no one seems to notice them at all.

“I’m getting some impression from your gawking that the little ‘gatherings’ you mentioned are a tip of the iceberg to highly limited exposure?” Tom says, turning his hand with a snap of his fingers. A startling burst of light coalesces and begins to bounce around the table like a rubber ball. “Are the Roys one of those families that fearmonger all the death and punishment you could ever want as a way to keep your casting at a minimum? Wish I could be shocked by the genius mind behind ATN.”

“Mostly that the – the… you know will revoke your magic, then you, um – you get killed by normals,” Greg says, reaching out and hesitantly grabbing the light, relieved when he actually manages to capture it in his palm, but he still feels a little nervous so openly casting, and consequently, disappointingly it entirely disappears from the table. “My grandpa’s like family was pretty bad. His uncle, uh… got rid of their familiars – his and Logan’s.”

Tom stares for a beat, hand falling limp against the table. “Ah. Shit.”

Greg shrugs with a single shoulder and turns the dice to snake eyes with a flick of his fingers. He furrows his brow down at them, then peeks up across the table. “Oh… Was that deal with the devil thing like…” He feels a smirk curve his lips, then a laugh breaks from his throat. “A-a layered joke, Tom?”

“It was, slightly,” Tom says, wagging his brows with a toothy curve at the edge of his mouth. “You still laughed.”

“Yeah, well,” Greg says, softly, though he thinks at the time it has just been because he was really happy.

“So what are we to do, two warlocks locked in a  –”

“I sort of prefer witch,” Greg interrupts, avoiding Tom’s eyes and peeking toward the curved window while heat builds at the back of his neck. “More, um. Natural.”

“A witch and a warlock locked in a game of secrets,” Tom amends, as his hand turns and taps, prompting the table between them rearranges into a pair of place sets. “How about you tell me one and I tell you one? And we can have lunch.”

Greg peeks up from the settings with a short bite at his cheek. “We like already –”

Tom interrupts with a harsh clear of his throat. “That was not the first time that little witch was in my office, Gregory. Or the big one, apparently.”

“Oh.” Greg pokes at the dice and feels a buzz of admittance , then heat flaring up into his ears in response. “But… She hasn’t said anything, Tom?”

“Sure, sure,” Tom says, condescending, then gestures toward himself with a turn of a hand across the table. “You go first – ask me anything. My deepest, darkest secret is at hand.”

“Anything?” Greg repeats, feeling his brow furrow, then he glances back at the little cliques of other magic users, gossiping over their drinks and sandwiches. “Is this place… binding?”

“Hah,” Tom says, dryly, eyes rolling with a marked tinge of sarcasm. “No. We can make the deal itself that way, if you want. I just didn’t want to address this more in a building that I’ve already suspected was cursed by Logan Roy, long before I found out he dabbled in that.”

Greg shakes his head with a glance down to trace whorls in the lace with his eyes. “That’s… that makes sense.”

Tom hums a few notes of a countdown. “Gregory?”

“When you, um –?” Greg clears his throat, looking down and now rolling the dice in front of him to a pair of threes. “Okay. When you said that you would rather… you know, have been married to me? Would you have told me – used m-me as your one moment of honesty, too?”

Tom stares back for a pair of beats, silent and color visibly draining from his face, leading into a pitchy, croaky laugh. “That’s… wow. Shit, Greg…” He closes his eyes for a solid beat, then opens them with another discomfiting laugh. “I think I nearly told you then,” he says, as a wan smile stretches across his mouth. “Found out that day… which secret was deeper.”

“Oh,” Greg says, winding and unwinding his hands, cracking both sets of knuckles to go with a solid drop of his chin to his chest. He like doesn’t want to jump to any conclusions… but they’ve been, in a way, mid-leap for a long time. “Okay. …You next?”

Tom is quiet for a few beats, eyes suddenly seeming especially clear and blue while staring unsettlingly steady across the table, until abruptly he clears his throat, straightening in his chair and flattening his hands across the lace cloth. “Did you, Gregory Hirsch, Canada’s Largest Off-Ice Witch, use magic to clean up your office after I turned over your desk?”

“My office, I –” Greg furrows his brow, wondering if he’s somehow hears every word wrong. “That’s it?”

“Yep,” Tom says, as he reaches out and taps his fingers on the table in front of the dice.

“Um,” Greg looks down, as Enid crack-pops back into a cat and bounds toward Tom’s hand teeth first. He feels his shoulders tighten, but either she doesn’t bite hard or Tom doesn’t mind. “…Maybe, yes. Is that really it? You said anything.”

“If there’s nothing else I’ve learned about and from you, Greg, it’s that it’s easier to learn secrets by accident.”

“But I thought –” Greg pauses, mouth pinching flat. “That’s not fair?”

“Oh no,” Tom says, all but cooing the words, as he stands from the table. He ruffles Greg’s hair, a first and a shock by consequence, as he passes to go toward the pastry cart. “Let’s see if you can just get over it.”

Greg turns to watch Tom walk away, brow furrowing and scalp tingling, then lunges as Enid jumps from the table, but it’s too late, and he hisses through clenched teeth. He watches her dart between tables to ultimately wind in between Tom’s feet in front of a wandering pastry cart, and feels heat rising high in his face the longer it goes on. He ends up putting his head down across the flats of his hands on the table.

Fuck.

He peeks up, as a plate thunks in front of him; it’s a croissant halved and piled high with cream and fruit, and he glances past it to see Tom settling with what appears to be poached eggs on bread so toasted that it’s almost black. He reaches out and takes a huge, surely magicked grape, lifting his head from the table, and gradually peels at the skin with his teeth.

“Moving onto the next item of today’s minutes,” Tom says, waving out a napkin with a prim turn of his nose. “Do we think Cyd is a witch?”

“Dude, yes,” Greg says, fingers slipping around the edge of the grape and nearly dropping it onto the table. “Lukas Matsson?”

“Definitely aligned to some trickster, the way he worked over Logan into a lather in an afternoon,” Tom says, cutting into his toast with a pair of tuts. He waves a yolk-covered fork, “Or he is one.”

“That would be cool,” Greg says, reaching for another overlarge grape with a tip of his head. He shoos Enid away from the cream, curving his hand around the plate. “Like… Not great, really, from like what stories say, but cool.”

Tom hums lowly, tipping his head. “If they’re even real. You never know with that old ritual crap – like all that shit with moon cycles.”

Greg rubs at the bridge of his nose. “Parts of it must be. Like, today is a new moon, and I – I found out your secret.”

“Oh my good golly gosh,” Tom says, all of a sudden widening his eyes, voice lifting into a mocking pitch, then he’s waving his fork in a circle around Greg’s face.  “Gregory. You’re one of those lunar nuts – I should’ve known. Do you howl at it?”

“What? No,” Greg says, feeling heat flare across the tops of his ears while he sinks into the chair. “I don’t even, like… do anything, really, I just sort of like it? It’s like the, um – the Kabbalah stuff with my dad, but… But like my mom and Gramps were around and could like sometimes explain.”

“Ah,” Tom intones, flatly, mood turning straight to the floor with a flattening of his lips. “Bastard.”

Greg doesn’t understand for a beat, and wonders if that lingering Thanksgiving sentiment for Grandpa Ewan is so strong, then realizes Tom must actually, somehow mean his dad; he huffs through his nose while feeling a brief, conflicted swell at the center of his chest. “He could be dead, Tom?”

Tom raises his brows with an assenting tilt of his head, dropping the fork to begin manually mopping at yolk. “Connor Roy is the sort of man who likes to deal in horrible memories and pretend they’re fun stories,” he says, raising his brows, as he peeks up and shoves the corner of charred toast in his mouth. “So I asked him about a Caroline comment.”

Greg winces slightly, sweeping a hand through his hair and looking down at the city for a blink. “Oh.”

“It wasn’t the worst thing I heard at that wedding, but it was up there,” Tom says, picking his fork back up to cut into the other slice. He glances at Enid on the table, one eye narrowing at her for some reason, then spares the same look for Greg. “He also said you were an accident – that wasn’t code for some consequence of a ritual orgy, was it?”

“I haven’t, like… asked,” Greg says, mouth flattening and twisting, briefly resolving to ask, then just as quickly deciding that he really doesn’t want to know. “Or… um, thought about it.”

“Hah. Oh, in a similar subject,” Tom says, cheery, once again, leaning over his plate and threatening to dip his tie into it. “Since I’ve got you warmed up to it –”

Greg coughs slightly around a slice of kiwi and raises his brows with a glance across the table, then to Enid, and back down to the croissant, ripping at another corner while heat builds across the back of his neck. He cannot imagine Tom in an orgy, at all – he can’t imagine himself much, either, and did coke at his, so far, only opportunity, but… the idea of it is… Alright, that is perhaps entirely that part of it – he doesn’t want to imagine Tom at an orgy, sweaty and flushed an-and shirtless, and focused on any number of someones other than himself.

But he – He’s pretty sure Tom isn’t diving into sex magic?

“I haven’t had anyone to cast with since before I – well, a few years,” Tom says, brows going up, “The whole secret is about to unravel, teetering on an edge of having to deal with a whole new shit show of, among other things, unspoken truths in my short-lived matrimony, but for now it could just be the both of us, eh? Waystar Two Ride Again, only now it’s a working act of spells and charms and – We can do a few readings if you want, or you can contribute something sensible, like probably that Kabbalah, because there’s a lot of that in the city, and I don’t know shit about it.”

Greg swallows shallowly around a bite of pastry. He hasn’t ever really… he doesn’t even know what that could look like, only that he does have some point of contention. “You should, like… respect the wyrd more, Tom.”

“Alright there,” Tom says, carelessly dismissive, but there’s a curve at the edge of his mouth, so he… He could just be attempting to wind Greg up. “Settle down, Macbeth.”

Greg feels his mouth flatten. “I’m not like going to go into it right now, Tom? But there’s like a lot of intrinsic crossover of, you know, astronomical meaning drawn from both of my… maternal and paternal institutions.”

Tom narrows an eye with a dubious slant building at his brows. “Damn it, Greg,” he says, all of a sudden breaking into a loud, barking laugh. “Fine. If that divination-fate shit is not all smoke and mirrors? I’ll acknowledge it has worked wonders for you, buddy.”

“It’s not, like… directed power or anything,” Greg says, glancing over when Enid stretches out against the glass on the edge of the table; he doesn’t think she’s been a cat this long in front of another person in pretty much… ever. “Like, you know, croissants are um, sort of also symbols of a new moon? It’s about synchronicities that are actually putting you on a path. Like, you… um, you bringing up my parents might be a bad omen, or like actually a sign that mistake has been learned from?”

Tom finishes his second piece of toast with a wag of his fingers. “You’re just awful at practical magic, aren’t you?”

“I – I don’t have a lot of practice,” Greg admits, reaching out and picking up a strawberry, blinking when it turns purple in his fingers, then looking up at a smug Tom. “It’s like mostly cleaning.”

“Fine, let’s make a deal,” Tom says, waving a hand between them over the emptying plates. “You can go ahead and try to convince me that stars mean anything, but we get to do fun stuff like dream walking and transmutation.”

Greg can feel a thrum of excitement under his sternum, but it doesn’t completely overshadow the perplexity that he’s being asked at all, which… isn’t a weird combination with Tom. He wets his lips, glancing sideways at the table where the pair is still weaving threads between each other, and he doesn’t even know what it is, which is his biggest issue. “I really don’t know how to do any of that, Tom. You probably won’t – ” He shakes his head, reaching out and grabbing at the stress ball now on the edge of the table, oozing gel beads between his fingers. “You know, it won’t be any fun?”

“Sure, it will, Greg,” Tom says, face exaggeratedly scrunching up in denial, as he shakes his head, then briefly looking down at the city below them. He all of a sudden exhales a snort, eyes rolling with a shrug. “Maybe not for you, at first, but I’m well-practiced in giving you remedial fun lessons.”

Greg huffs through his nose, letting the ball relax back into shape in his hand. “You really want to?”

“Yeah, buddy, I want to do a lot stuff with you,” Tom says, quietly, then clears his throat harsh, leaning back in his chair while waving his hand, again, but this time the plates disappear from the table. “And this is – it feels like I stepped into winning the lottery. You’re not going to yank this ticket out of my hands.”

Greg chews at the inside of his cheek, tilts his head to the side with a glance. He’s like pretty sure at this point Tom was serious about taking the afternoon off. “What are they doing?”

“Who – ? Oh,” Tom looks across the café for a beat, then turns back to Greg with a click of his tongue. “String game. Sort of.”

Greg feels his leg jump under the table. “…Could we?”

“Oh,” Tom intones, settling in his chair with a wag of his brows, turning while opening and closing his hands in a gesture, stretch out, then dropping them back.  “Have you never done it?”

Greg shakes his head, bitterly honest, then startles when Tom reaches out and takes his empty hand across the table. He stares at their hands held together for a pair of beats, then glances up, only to immediately look back down again, when he incidentally catches Tom naturally looking straight back.

“Just don’t overthink it,” Tom says, as he traces two warm fingers down the length of Greg’s palm, then pulls out a tight shimmering almost-thread, as if pretending the energy came from Greg himself. “You think you can hold it? You must have done water games as a kid in the tub – it’s sort of like that.”

“Yeah…” Greg hesitantly stretches a pinky against the energy, concentrating on taking it, rather than breaking it, like he had earlier with the light.

“Perfect,” Tom says, as he gently tugs the stress ball from Greg’s other hand, and his fingers curve around across the backs of his knuckles up while drawing out the spark into an unbroken loop between them. “This is just your sort of fiddly-dick thing, Gregory; you’ll take right to it.”

Greg peeks up again, catching Tom’s eyes on purpose for a beat, then ducking his head back down while heat prickles across his face. He nearly loses the thread when Enid pops back into a cat, paws tucking under and head tilted up, her eyes flickering between the glowy thread and Tom, and he quietly excuses her for the earlier sneaking away. He’s really just the same.

[jeffersonhairpie]

Do you have any tomgreg fic recs? I’m desperately trying to find some that feel somewhat in character lol

I do!!!

First up, you HAVE to read Daddy's Little Deathstick Dynasty. TomGreg is one of several things happening here and it leans more 'gen with romance happening in the background' but it's so far and away the best Succ fic I've read it's not real. It's about the family plus Gerri crash landing on a desert island and it's perfect.

Then for straight up TomGreg stuff. My apologies if any of these recs are basic:

The Didn't You Like It Better When... series - Tom and Greg are fucking and Tom has no idea how he feels about it.

Excelsior - Silver Linings Playbook AU. Tom is recovering from a nervous breakdown and refusing to accept his marriage is over. Greg is a too young widower and neither of them are good at dinner parties (Ongoing)

I Would Rather Go There With You - The aftermath of Boar on the Floor

I'll Still Destroy You - The terrible tale of Tom insisting that Greg Doms him, without really realising what he's asking for (possibly bordering on dubcon? The kink is definitely not well negotiated)

The Olive Press (by @raglett art by @greggery) - Future fic. Five years post-breakup, Greg shows up on Tom's doorstep. Lots of Tom reflecting back on the fallout of GoJo buying out Waystar. (Ongoing)

Someone Else's Daydream (by @red-0ak-tree) - Unseen moments between Tom and Greg across seasons 1 and 2. Leans hard into the manipulative elements of their dynamic (Ongoing)

Sonny Liston Rubbed Some Tiger Balm Into His Glove (some things you do for money and some you do for love, love, love) - Greg accidentally kills his way to the top. Tom comes along for the ride

Such An Ugly Thing - After a disastrous attempt at pegging, Tom takes out his frustrations on Greg (feat. TomShiv sex, dubious consent)

Tom and Greg Make A Sex Tape - Exactly what it says on the tin. But cringefail bc it's TomGreg

And if it's not too corny, lemme go ahead and rec my own fic bc I'm pleased with it:

Greetings, Once Again - After a freak storm prevents all air traffic from entering the UK, Tom and Shiv head to the house in Albany for a less than magical Christmas with all the family

I'm sure most of these have been written by people with tumblr accounts. Sorry to everyone who's url I don't know.

As ever, I'm a big believer that if you find a fic you really like you should go read everything the author has ever written for the fandom you're interested in, and please do leave comments on any fics you enjoy!

[gregoftom]

omg on the marriage topic who d'you think would bring up the idea of marriage first?

do you think tom's been stewing on it a while and brings it up to greg carefully that he'd like to marry him (bc they're In Love but it makes tom vulnerable and tom's been hurt before). and greg's all wide eyes, small growing smile. bc greg's over the moon and stars insides dancing to be wanted to be husbanded by tom.

or maybe it comes from greg. being assertive. like, I want to get married. I want to be married to you. (and for tom that's like. Amazing. bc it's not him chasing someone else with love. someone's actively wanting to love him and only him. so he's like...okay, yeah, yes, and they'll sort something out.)

or do you think it's straight to proposal, like tom did with shiv. they're out at a gorgeous place. and tom does it all classic like. gives greg a box, and a ring. tells greg honestly how he feels and wants greg by his side always, always greg. (his sporus)

or do you think it's like. accidental. spills out during sex. one of them, all breathless and heated, just being like, god, I would marry you. and then the other's like. hitting stark reality. yeah? and it's suddenly Out There. and the one who said it actually thinks about it and is like. yeah. (I feel like either could be in either role in this???)

aaa gimme your thoughts

HELP ME OMG THESE ARE ALL PERFECT AND I CANT PICK AAA like. i love all of them omfg like. tom. bringing it up again and like no like, i Really wanted to marry you i wasn't kidding [rpdr meme voice I'M NOT JOKING BITCH] i want you with me forever and greg being like. omg....... bc like. already the i got you and wanting to keep him after Everything is crazy bc everyone else has given up on him nothing is good enough when he makes a mistake that's it etc etc. but tom. doesn't care and still loves him and wants to spend the rest of their lives together fuck. fuck!!!! like you say stars dancing inside him, stomach flipping heart pounding tears brimming because oh my god. someone really actually really wants to be around me all the time. with me. for life.

but THEN on GOD the wayyyy you said about. finally tom is not the one doing the chasing and He's the one actively pursued and sought after by someone he's so deeply in love with, someone he's afraid to truly express how he feels without some proxy or shield of a phone or joke afterwards or reference, something, anything to mask just his true feelings... greg being the one to be like. i wanna be your one and only. i kinda hinted at this, like? already? on election night. [bc he did. when he asked where he stood in terms of them? like. to me it read as personal. it couldn't be professional, really, bc he already knows, and he referenced their earlier relationship by proxy of matsson like, he treated me badly, but i liked the trust, so... which is like. the development of his and tom's relationship, but tom didn't Really get the hint. i want you gregging for me! was good enough in the moment though, i think. greg seemed to be tired of being the side piece/other woman. he wanted to be tom's lover!] so like. yeah i wanna get married. marry me. and tom is like. H.

but OHHHH TOM CONSIDERING AND THEN PROPOSING TO GREG Ajdl;akfle that's so fucking, cute, and like. tom is SUCH a hopeless romantic he would absolutely do something like that and. he would figure that greg was Worth It, was Worth the danger of having his heart broken again like. maybe this time we'll be fine. /ref and yeah god. sporus. fuck. come with me sporus. be with me. marry me. and greg. would say yes nero. because what other answer could there possibly beeeEEE ON GOD I'M PERISHING.

and. this last one is the one i've actually considered the most and believed to be how it would go. like the first time, even, the very first time they have sex [which i believe would be post show, now, i'm a post show truther despite it being fun to think of earlier times] they just. lose themselves in the moment and go crazy go stupid, absolutely bestial and passionate and loving and clawing and gripping at one another, foreheads pressed fingers interlocked kisses and stealing breath away, and yeah the subject of marriage comes up exactly as you said and alksjalsj yes. i think. tom. would say that and then be like FUCK, blurting something like That out, but greg would look up with stars in his eyes, pull him in closer and. yeah? maybe we should. maybe you should marry me, nero. and that's it lmao tom is Gone and they just continue hissing oaths and promises and vows and aslaska;slkasa yeah. yeah. yeah

HONESTLY ALL OF THESE ARE. SO GOOD. I CANNOT PICK i thought the last one was how i think it would go but omg. i could see All of these. ACK! i'm. going down! mayday! mayday!!!!! aaaaaaaaaakkkkkkkssssssssshhhhhhhhhh [radio static]

[pynkhues]

I remember reading this great post about how succession hints very interestingly at the trope of a rich men killing/destroying the life of a male working-class lover. it's never explicit, but there seems to be a real running undertone. there's the whole vibe with roman and the trainer (and he even jokes about suing him). plus if you look at the conversation kendall was having with the waiter before the car crashed... it's like INCREDIBLY sexually charged. very curious to know your thoughts on this

That's such an interesting observation, anon (and op!) and it's definitely one that I can see. You could even argue I think that Tom and Greg sort of fall into that category too, only the lines are a bit blurred in terms of who's the rich man and who's the working-class lover.

In many ways, I actually tend to think Greg's arc these days most resembles Ripley in Patricia Highsmith's The Talented Mr. Ripley. He's a man in a suit that doesn't belong to him, inserting himself into a life he doesn't really have a place in, and while it's not sexual (they're cousins after all, haha) I think you could argue Kendall's the Dickie to Greg's Ripley – Kendall gives like Dickie does, but Greg has an incident where he oversteps with clothing (Ripley wears Dickie's clothes, and Greg assumes Kendall will buy him the watch, things both characters have been led to believe are okay because of murky boundaries) and then Greg (metaphorically to Ripley's literally) kills Kendall when Kendall tries to break things off with him.

It's a sort of flip in some ways of the trope you're talking about, but I think it operates the same world because both tropes are ultimately untited by class, desire and destruction.

None of these characters are happy, and so the process of seeking happiness becomes one ultimately entangled with desire, and when that thing doesn't offer happiness or sate a desire, the character destroys the thing, whether that be in jest (Roman and the trainer), accidentally (Kendall and Dodds), or deliberately (Logan and, well, everything, haha).

I think class plays a really significant role in all of that too, because class mobility is central to many of the characters motivation on the series. Even Logan's hunger for more power stems from the fact that for his formative years, he had none, and because he can't possibly believe he's now reached the top. Interestingly, I'd argue that feedback loop of desire and destruction is realised there too – he desired to provide a birthright to his children and now resents them for it, so seeks to destroy both them and it.

That sort of psychosexual aspect to desire and destruction's in play there too, I mean, god, the amount of sexual language that gets thrown out amongst the family is constant and often violent.

Which I think makes sense too – power, sex and violence is very often narratively entertwined, and isn't that just another way of saying class, desire and destruction?

But more to your point, yeah I think there's a really compelling and prominent throughline to how all the siblings use people in positions beneath them / the working class in ways that are either sexually coded, like Roman and the trainer, and Kendall and Dodds – both of which, fascinatingly, are reiterated in 3.08 between Shiv telling Logan about the former in the wake of the dick pic, and the latter with Logan asking Kendall straight up if he and Dodds left the wedding to fuck – or outright. Gosh, Connor and Willa are a sort of case in point, as is Shiv trying to bring one of the yacht staffers in for a threesome with her and Tom.

All of these elements are of that same cycle of violence although with Shiv, what gets destroyed is a part of her marriage and not the woman staffer, and for Willa, it's a part of her identity which Connor, by the end of s3, is literally trying to erase. (I could also talk about Willa as a case for the show's class mobility themes here, but that feels like a whole other post, haha). What's significant is that the working class are presented as something to be used by the upper class, and moulded to fit an experience. They function not as their own people, but often markers of a disparity of power and status that charges those with power and those who want power alike.

Roman's trainer moves his body in a way that articulates a physical power over him which Roman flips by toying with him over suing him. Dodds articulates a fantasy about kidnapping Kendall in that car - a desire to have power over the powerful - that Kendall plays along with, confident in his safety as someone with power (although I think you could also read it in a sense that Kendall's not someone who actually wants power, but again, a whole other post, haha). Willa uses Connor's power to build a career she'd never have otherwise, and while there's not a powerplay in the threesome exactly purely because it doesn't go ahead, I think you could argue that there's a shift of power in Shiv's scene with the whistleblower that might not be sexual in itself, but is steeped in the same power, violence, sex trichotomy given what it's about.

With the exception of Connor and Willa, I think these circumstances each involving people of the same sex is significant too because it touches on the way gender is both weaponised and - - mmm, I'm trying to think of the right word, but I guess I'd say a shorthand towards sameness and community? There's a degree of trust in being the same gender, an assumed understanding that your experiences are the same even when they starkly, starkly are not, and I think the show plays with that sort of mirror.

Characters see themselves in others, even when they have no real reason to, and it leaves them thinking the gap between them is smaller than it is. That gap is inviting though, and when they start to play in it, it all goes wrong, and what starts as intriguing becomes boring or repulsive or broken, which ultimately feeds the hungry mouths of desire and destruction all over.

[gemsofthegalaxy]

Actually sometimes if I think about it I am a little mad that Greg's blatant experience of Tom's homophobic powerplays and abuse is treated as almost nothing in the Family Abuse Through Capitalism show. it's, like, intentionally played for laughs most times.

At the same time, I love the two of them and find them compelling and interesting because I love jealously, possession, and devotion and I ship as many straight ships as I do gay ones. As much as I do want wholesome gay rep I also want hand-in-unlovable-hand, nobody-can-love-you-like-I-do stories too. I'm not mad at my fellow fans for just sort of sweeping it away because the show also does, I think? Perhaps there is an angle I am missing but-

Shiv gets to experience the whole gambit of being a scummy person and a woman and using her position to fuck over other women, but still having harrowing experiences of misogyny when she's utterly surrounded by men. It's heart- and gut-wrenching to watch. Layered and interesting. People have differing opinions, still, but it's in the text and it always has been.

Greg, meanwhile, is ambiguously straight. There are queer readings we can have- going from completely disinterested in sex/women to loudly and obnoxiously flirting with them publically as he gains an increasingly important position and plays the expected part he has to play. Not to mention, his pointedly absent father is gay, more than enough reason for him to not come out.

But we never get a confirmation and... I don't know if I would say there's been anything of Greg grappling with the specifically homoerotic way that Tom has tormented him. Greg seems to be mildly weirded out and then rolls with it- does he not recognize the game Tom is playing? is that a commentary on how victims may not recognize the abuse? If Greg was scared of Tom hurting him, why fuck him over on multiple separate occasions and even right after experiencing physical assault. I'm not asking what Greg's point is, but what is deal is, instead. Cause I can't figure out what they're saying with him when it comes to Tom's emotional abuse specifically.

In my opinion, we still don't have a confirmation on whether Greg really cares about Tom in return (as Tom had tried to make Greg emotionally reliant on himself but ended up emotionally reliant on Greg). Based on last night I think he does, honestly, at least like Tom's company and want to stick with him. Whether he does stay with Tom or not still remains to be seen and I think he's been vague enough they could go any way they want with him.

Greg is not only not a serious person, he's not a serious character, I think. And to me that's a wee bit of a shame. Yes, we also get ambiguous sexuality and issues with Roman but we've also had a deal of exploration of that- I would like more, but, it's been covered. It's been at least addressed, in some way.

Lastly, I will acknowledge that I don't even know what it is I'm asking for, here. I just feel the storytellers are maybe treating the queerness with a bit much levity for the world they've created. And I think the exploration of varying forms of discrimination as they layer on top of the Capitalism-Abuse has left something to be desired, perhaps, and all feel underexplored to me.

[slutneto]

It is a stupid thought but I think if someone from the inner/outer circle really paid a little attention to Tom and Greg, then they would have found something is odd, like Roman alluded very casually Tom sundae with Greg sprinkles.

But Roman had never paid real attention to get any further because no one seriously considers them anything other than background noise.

And if someone even jokingly made a reference, it would have driven home some realisation for Tom/Greg. It would have made Tom ponder seriously. Maybe Greg would become too conscious because he seems to be scared of coming across as anything apart from hetero, even as a passing joke. This was my understanding from his overdone dating attempts.

roman is so deep in the closet he repressed the fact that gay people exist completely. the idea of queer intentions has never crossed his mind, not even when his personal trainer offered him a wank at the end of one of their sessions.

i desperately crave shiv and greg interactions, so i would love for her to corner greg somewhere and go straight to the point with 'so are you fucking tom or something?' and greg would go 'hm. how do i know that you're... uhhhhh. maybe you just want to fuck him yourself.?' and shiv would eye him for a bit before saying 'greg????? he is my husband? i am already fucking him'. and from there greg could go two ways: he could either splutter and say something stupid like 'i sure hope you do' or 'congratulations'. OR he could turn up the cunt factor and say 'my sources report something different. opposite even' and shiv's face would do that thing where she goes from 🙁 to 😡 in a second.

tom tho. literally anybody could ask him if he's lgbt or something and he'd have a mental breakdown right then and there. if they mentioned greg, he would collapse momentarily. maybe even faint.

[hageny]

Succession Thoughts: Gerri x Roman 

1. Who runs through the snow?

Having nearly completed my Succession re-watch in preparation for Season 3, there is a theme that has not really been touched on in the fandom that caught my attention. In spite of Kendall being the open--and frequent--drug user in the family, it is Roman who is often labeled as such by others who are unfamiliar with his lifestyle. Most often we see Stewy, Kendall’s best friend, making these declarations; at one point, while walking the streets of NYC, he tells Kendall that if they sell the company Roman would be free to use the money to, “snort his weight”, a reference to blowing coke. However, Roman is not only not a fan of cocaine, he is also the one who is depicted as openly eschewing drugs of any kind. When he realizes that Kendall has relapsed, he is the one to be concerned enough to pick him up; when they are at Tom’s bachelor party in Prague, he is the one who tells Connor to stop doing drugs and be careful; while chasing Eduard for cash, he runs into Greg who asks him for a bump, and he refuses to give him any. Roman does not openly tell anyone he won’t do drugs, and sometimes plays along sarcastically with the idea of himself being the one to snort things, but it begs the question: why and how has he come upon this reputation for reckless drug use when he’s the one who plays it the most straight? Most importantly, in the scene above, Stewy tells Logan that Roman has a reputation as a cocaine user, and Logan--knowing full-well which son is the culprit--makes no attempt to correct Stewy. Maybe this incorrect assumption is part of Roman’s crafting of the “Rockstar CEO” persona he talks about to Gerri; maybe he unfairly shoulders the blame for his brother’s shortcomings in the public sector because privately he’s used to it; maybe he’s not upfront enough to tell people he’s bothered by it. It’s hard to say which is the truth, but it’s an interesting predicament for someone who is--goofiness aside--actually fairly responsible. 

2. I think it’s for you to know so you can protect me.

Another tidbit that caught my attention during the re-watch is the way Roman handles the launch in Japan in the weeks leading up to the disaster we see transpire in the season finale. Up to the point that he is handed this responsibility, Roman is depicted as--and referred to--as a dipshit with zero business acumen who isn’t worth his weight in salt. However, when he’s handed this assignment, he handles it fairly well, and we hear him occasionally make reference to his work. What also is shown is that none of his family members show any interest in his work. Their prevailing attitude seems to be that Roman is a kindergartener with a big-boy assignment--it’s something given to him to amuse him and keep him busy, but he’ll likely fuck it up. In spite of being in the thick of things in Austerlitz, he still drops what he’s doing to go rescue Kendall, trying to balance his coked up brother while also doing a conference call in the vehicle on the way back to Connor’s house. It’s all of this that arguably could make the case for why, when the whole thing literally blows up in his face, Gerri steps in and saves him by keeping an eye on things when they’re at their worst, making sure his father never finds out that the shuttle blew up. Gerri never protects the other siblings--a topic I’ve covered in other posts--and if anything delights in misleading them and watching them stumble, so the question of why she decides to treat Roman differently is one that has prevailed. However, while we don’t see Gerri taking notice of how Roman handles his work--and handled the Japan assignment--it would be foolish to assume that she didn’t notice his attentiveness in the same way she notices Kendall’s selfishness or Shiv’s incompetence. Gerri’s perceptiveness is not really alluded to in dialogue, but it’s shown to the audience in the way she handles the people around her. With regard to Roman, it could be argued that the reason she makes an effort to protect him from the consequences of his mistakes, is because she notices what his family does not--that he cares about his work, and genuinely tries his best, even if his best if not always good enough to meet expectation. She takes him under her wing because she sees his potential, and maybe that’s enough of a reason to shield him from the wrath of his family. 

3. Stupid girl.

One decision Gerri makes--bringing Shiv in to help with the James Weissel situation amidst the cruises fiasco--has always struck me as noteworthy, for reasons that were unclear until I pondered it a little more. Up to this point, Gerri and Shiv have essentially no relationship whatsoever, and if anything there is a certain contentiousness between them, with Gerri seeming to take offense to Shiv’s presumptuousness and entitled attitude. So it always struck me as odd that, in the midst of the company’s greatest scandal, she asks Shiv to okay the rising settlement offer that she and the other board members are prepared to make to him--”five rising to ten”, in Gerri’s words. She asks Shiv to not only okay the offer--ostensibly so she doesn’t have to bother Logan during his weekend in Dundee--and also brings her in on the decision that they have to make about when to tell Logan that the settlement money offer is useless and the scandal is set to blow. She ends their conference by asking Shiv, “And if I had to tell him you made the call, would you still be happy with the call?” (meaning Shiv’s choice not to tell Logan until the day after his surprise party). It was only until a while later that it dawned on me what Gerri--possibly--has done by putting Shiv’s name on the cruises situation. Gerri no doubt is smart enough to notice that Shiv would like control of the company, and shrewd enough to understand that Shiv’s rise to power would likely be on the foundation of the feminist values she claims to hold. Realistically, like all wealthy people, Shiv’s values are merely performative, and her interest is in herself, and so what Gerri does is incredibly important. She takes the one person who poses the most threat to her and Roman’s rise to power, and has her okay a move that--if it were to be brought to the public’s attention should Shiv take control of Waystar--would seriously dent Shiv’s public image. Gerri can always argue that her involvement in the coverup was a necessity, something she was forced into (also not true, but the public wouldn’t know the difference), but Shiv can’t make that argument. If anyone were to find out she okayed the settlement offers to hush up the scandal, her “one of the people” persona would crumble to dust. Maybe Gerri only asks Shiv for her input because she feels like she has no one else to ask, but given Gerri’s shrewdness--and downright manipulativeness--in Season 1, it’s unlikely. Gerri does what she does best with Shiv because she enjoys it. She takes the one trait that defines Shiv’s personality, and uses it against her. Hopefully, this will come to play in Season 3. 

[tomwambsmilk]

3, 5, 8 for the succ asks!

3. shiv pulls you aside and asks if you think there’s “anything weird” going on between her husband and greg hirsch. what do you say?

Ooh, that's a toughie. I think what I would say would depend a lot on how much I knew... If I'd actually seen something super incriminating, affair-wise, I would tell her. As fun as it is for me as a succ viewer to root for the extra-marital affair, irl I would see that as a serious thing and I wouldn't feel comfortable lying about it. (I don't know that I'd go out of my way to tell her though... not my circus not my monkeys etc. And yes I know they have an open relationship but I'm assuming I don't know that.) But, if all I've seen is what we've seen on the show? I think there I would be a LOT more hesitant to say anything, if only because it's all Subtext and it's VERY possible to read that wrong. Probably I'd shrug and say some variation of "I don't know, they are really close I guess but I've never seen anything sketchy going on there."

5. willa invites you to a boozy saturday brunch. jess invites you to after work drinks. either way, you know you will be getting some crazy waystar tea, but you can only accept one invitation. which do you choose?

Oh, Willa 100%. For one thing, I need ALL the tea on Connor's presidential campaign and his evolving platform, but also I think Willa and I would get along really well, and I do want to talk theatre with her. She might not be able to write good theatre but she definitely appreciates a good play, and I think that would be an even bigger draw for me than the Waystar gossip tbh. I need her opinions on the "American Psycho" musical and whether or not she prefers the London or the New York cast of "Heathers". Who is her favourite Elphaba aside from Idina Menzel? Thoughts on Andrew Lloyd Webber, and what does she think is the thing he's done that's most worthy of public execution? That's what I REALLY need to know.

(Also I do love a boozy brunch, it must be said - a boozy brunch will always win over evening drinks for me.)

8. you are roman roy’s most trusted confidant. he asks if you think he’s afraid of pussy. what do you say?

This one is so context-dependent... I'm assuming that he's asking seriously, and he's also told me about his relationship struggles to this point. My go-to approach when I'm trying to help a friend work through something is not to straight-up tell them what I think, but to ask them questions until they figure out what they want or what the situation is - mostly because I'm not them and I don't want to put words in their mouth. So, I'd probably start by saying that idk that 'scared of pussy' is really a good way to put it, and then start asking him questions like what do you mean by that, exactly? Do you think that it's the prospect of sex that's making you anxious, or is it the intimacy? Are you attracted to women? Do you think you might be attracted to men? What is it about Gerri that you like? Would you actually ever want to have sex with her?

Because Roman is Roman we'll get maybe five minutes into this process before the introspection makes him too uncomfortable and he makes a shitty joke and tells me to fuck off, but I also think he'd keep rotating it in his mind and maybe it will help him figure something out. Or maybe not. Either way, he'll probably send me a dick pic out of spite

WHAT WOULD YOU DO: the succession ask game

[kingpigeon]

a fevered flash of tomgreg

greg is threaded through with gold; he lights upon the air like Oedipus. he is tragic and beautiful and even talking to him (especially talking to him) is a form of intimacy. like it’s obscene for other people to see you talking and watch the way your body spills towards him like the tide, like gravity. your ardor seeps into your words, into your movements, into the sweat at the back of your neck as you sit in a meeting with your knees touching just just just so, just a hint of something real.

this is someone––you thought when you first met him, when you looked at that begging cousin shivering in from the cold dripping with desperation and shame––this is someone that I could break. finally. someone I could break, all for myself.

but you feel differently now. you didn’t know the fight that was in greg—the hint of venom. the cunning slant of his mind that no one else noticed, no one for a long time and even now it’s only you who knows. who’s seen it. and that changed things. now, your feelings are more focused. purer, private—deceptively deep pools hiding in the shallows. he’s your conquest now, all shrinking violets and half-lidded glances. you want to conquer things for him, kill for his approval. this is courtly love. never being satisfied is the point, with him.

you yearn. you sit in public, in front of other people, hot; thinking about him. thinking about his eyes.

how’s, uh, how’s the ol’ ball and chain doing? he asks haltingly, playfully, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear like a virgin as you stand in line together at the coffee place you always take him to, your morning coffee place before you drag him in your wake to work.

anger lights through you like a thunderclap, consuming and white hot and turning your brain to television static. you idiot, you think. I’m not thinking about her, not now. not with you. are you that fucking blind? I love you, I’m blossoming for you. look at me.

oh gregory, you say with a sigh, bringing your hands up to his throat like you’re going to strangle him. he flinches. you laugh and hate yourself. you never laughed like that before shiv—or maybe you did. you can’t remember. you’re really going to try to waste my time asking such banal fucking questions at seven forty three in the goddamn morning? how’s my wife?

your mouth works at the word, wife, emphasizing what it means. emphasizing how stupid he is for making you think about the fact that you’re someone’s husband. it’s bad manners, like kicking boots up on a dinner table. he should feel bad for it.

you want to know how my wife is? come on, man. you may as well walk out and step straight into traffic to save me the torture of entertaining your inability to make small talk, if that’s what you’re bringing to the table today. my wife. don’t be common, greg.

right, ha ha. okay, tom. he squirms. his eyes are imploring and embarrassed, accepting the rebuff but still waiting for you to smooth the sting. you’re not allowed to hurt him without making it right. you wouldn’t. the trust he feels for you, despite everything, hums off him and makes you drunk. you told him you’d look after him, and he believes you. you won’t cheapen that.

you pat his cheek, and he leans into it just a fraction as you struggle for words. come come, you say eventually, with effort. a car starting up with an awkward kick. you push down the wallet he’s fumbling with and squeeze his wrist like a kiss. put that away, when have I ever not paid for you? relax. I’m just… I’m on a cleanse, it makes me saucy in the mornings. I’ll lend you the clipping I took about it from last week’s cosmo, they say it’s what Zuckerberg’s wife swears by. dietary manifestation and all that.

leaving, you let him walk under your umbrella with you. you even let him hold it (you tell him to, like an order, so he doesn’t know how badly you really want it), and you don’t complain when he thoughtlessly, naturally, angles it towards himself. he doesn’t notice as the rain soaks through the shoulder of your suit. you barely notice it yourself.

ao3 link