#WE SOMETIMES GRAB A DRINK. what the fuck does that even mean tom. since when did you get drinks with greg.

[gregoftom]

scenes that make you go hmmm

[jodilin65]

Woke up very tired today and tried to tell myself it was no big deal, I expected it, and yesterday’s energy was something I had just once in a while. But it is a big deal and it does bother me. I want to be out there living my life. Not stuck at home so much of the time suffering or at least not having energy. I sit and think to myself, I remember the days when I could be outdoors most of the time and I could be active doing things on a regular basis, even if “active” didn’t necessarily mean running a mile a minute.

And then I also found, upon waking up, that the dreaded UTI I feared I would get had flourished overnight. I began noticing more burning a couple of days ago but today has been the most obvious. I’m 95% sure it is a UTI. That other small percentage wonders if it could be because I took a few days off of the Replens and the probiotics. Seems a bit extreme for that, though, so I’m still going with a UTI. I’ve been drinking cranberry juice and I messaged Rhonda. I told her I had 4 nitrofurantoin pills left over from when they switched me to something for my kidney infection and that I could start treatment tonight and asked if she could call in 6 more to make it the 10 they usually prescribe.

I’ve had an underlying feeling of nausea all day, but since my number twos started back up again it’s been a little better.

There I was doing better overall and now I get hit with the virus and then the UTI. My next concern is a yeast infection. I just can’t get a break! Irrational or not, I sometimes can’t help the feeling that something is using my body against me since it hasn’t been able to use other things to fuck with me as easily as it used to. Imagine that kind of control and power - hate someone enough to want to pick on them and make their body do whatever you want it to do to torture them. I really hope to hell there’s nothing up there that evil!

In neighborhood news, the honker took the motorcycle out while I slept, and didn’t wake me up. Still, I wish his company would get the fuck out already so he wouldn’t ride the thing every day. Furthermore, I wish they would stop coming to visit every single year. My parents left Massachusetts five years before I did and I was only down here twice. Never came here from the West and of course, there was that decade when I wouldn’t have anything to do with them.

Then there’s Linda, the bitch I’ve dubbed a Little Miss Be Happy. I noticed a bench sitting out front for tomorrow’s pick up and I thought why not grab it to put in back? So I walked up to her door which was open and saw she had three other ladies sitting around her kitchen table. They told me to come in, and I’m not sure if she looked horrified to see who it was or what, but I introduced myself as if we’d never met, played kind and dumb, and asked her about the bench. She warned me it wasn’t safe to sit on and she was right. Tom and I checked it out and saw it was old and flimsy. I’m sure she badmouthed me to her little friends after I left too, not that I give a shit.

I later thanked the “lady” in the group for warning me that it was rickety and that I didn’t get names because she had company and I didn’t want to intrude. Of course she never responded, lol, but a couple of others did, saying they would keep looking, and I wouldn’t be surprised if they were the ones at her house at the time.

I know it’s mean and perhaps immature as well but sometimes even I like to play with people a little. I guess the prankster in me can’t ever be fully extinguished. When I read back on some of my earlier journals, I see I really did do a lot of silly and immature things. I’m sure we all feel that way when we look back on our pasts at times. Just the way I took Nane so seriously was kind of ridiculous.

Tom and I were talking about the West Coast versus the East Coast and we both agreed that while we have met some horrible people on both coasts as well as some that were great, the West Coast was definitely friendlier in general. When I compare our neighbors here to the ones we had in Cali even though I was out and about more back there, even crazy Dixie was friendlier. Other than Toni and Irma, and then Sue and Annette from Bingo, everyone around us is pretty antisocial or just not very friendly. Most of them are a bunch of Bible-thumping bigots with big mouths. No one here compares to the “Twenties” or Bob and Virginia. Even Geri across the street was nice with the exception of her letting her dog bark. Jim and “Santa” were nice too. I don’t miss California, though. Just having some breathing room around us and a bigger house.

I like to play around with different apps and try new things. Most of them I end up dumping but the dream app I’m trying is kind of cool. You write down what you dreamed and you can generate an image based on whatever you dreamed to go with it, then it interprets your dream.

[supernovafics]

𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘 𝐋𝐈𝐄 𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐒 𝐓𝐎 𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐓𝐇

pairing: tom holland x fem!reader

summary: in which tom is your ex-boyfriend and a night in vegas for your mutual friend’s birthday leads to a surprising drunk confession

warnings: explicit language, drunkenness, so much angst, (italicized means flashback)

word count: 2.9k

author’s note: first time ever posting any kind of writing on here but i’m actually very proud of this so i hope you all enjoy! things gets berry berry angsty and sad in this so i’m sorry in advance </3

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Against your many drunken protests, the night was coming to an end. You did not want to leave the club you were in along with Zendaya and the friends she invited, so you pouted at the girl, knowing that since this whole Vegas trip had been for her birthday, she would be able to make everyone stay.

“Come on, Z. We should all have a couple more drinks,” You told her, words coming out slightly slurred, showing how inebriated you were.

“No way, Y/N. I think you’ve had enough drinks for the night,” Zendaya responded, and instead of verbally responding to her, you simply pouted again.

You felt upset that you had to leave, but the tiniest part of you that was sober knew you would thank her in the morning for making you do so.

Zendaya turned her attention to Tom, who was sitting at the table that the group of friends had been occupying for most of the night. “Tom, since you and Y/N are staying at the same hotel, can you make sure she gets back to her room okay?”

Tom turned his gaze away from his phone and nodded at Zendaya’s request. He looked at where you were now standing by the bar, animatedly talking and laughing with Jacob and Harrison. Seeing how happy you looked with them reminded Tom of the situation the two of you were in.

For the past two days of this Vegas trip, you both had barely spoken any words to each other. This avoidance wasn’t necessarily purposeful, it was just something that happened, and it honestly made sense. With the way things ended between you two, there was bound to be some lingering awkward tension, especially since this was the first time you guys had been in the same vicinity of each other since the breakup, which happened a little over six months ago.

Neither of you hated the other, but you definitely weren’t going to initiate anything more than some simple small talk.

However, tonight was much different than the past two days in Vegas had been. You were drunk, and anytime you were in this intoxicated state, you became overly friendly and a little too honest, a mixture that almost always led to some type of disaster.

• • •

The beginning of the elevator ride up to your floor was fairly quiet until you started drunkenly rambling to Tom, acting as if there wasn’t any awkward tension between the two of you. It was mainly because the drunk version of you gave zero fucks about the awkwardness that had been lingering for so long.

“We should’ve stayed for just one more drink. It would have been really fun,” You said to him, grinning widely as you leaned back against the wall of the elevator. Tom was standing right next to you. He had been like this the entire way to the hotel just in case you tripped or anything else; he had seen you drunk enough times before to know some of your usual mannerisms.

“You’re already pretty drunk, though,” Tom responded, chuckling lightly.

Even though his words were true, you still gasped, offended. “No, I’m not!”

Once again, Tom laughed, and the sound made your heart simultaneously flutter and ache.

His laugh was your favorite thing about him, not only the soft and happy sound of it but the way his mouth turned up in a wide smile as he did so too. And hearing that oh-so-familiar laugh right then made you realize that this was the first time you’ve heard it in a while, and it also made you desperately want to listen to it again.

“I still love your laugh so much,” You told him, knowing you would not have said that if you were any hint of sober.

As the words spilled from your lips, you noticed the corner of Tom’s mouth perk up the tiniest bit in a smile. “And this honesty is how I know you’re very drunk right now.”

You rolled your eyes, and a full smile took over your features. “I didn’t see you drink at all tonight.”

Tom simply shrugged. “Wasn’t really in the mood.”

The grey elevator doors then opened up to the nineteenth floor before you could say anything in response to Tom’s statement. Both you and he exited the elevator, and you began walking in the direction of your hotel room. That was until you noticed that none of the numbers was the one for your room, and instead of the room numbers on the doors decreasing to the one that was yours, they were actually increasing.

“Wait, fuck. We’re going the wrong way.” You quickly turned around and started walking in the opposite direction. The abrupt action caused you to trip over absolutely nothing but your own feet. Tom attempted to reach for you, but you hit the ground before he could even get the chance to grab your arm.

“Shit, you okay, Y/N?” Tom asked as he knelt down next to you.

You nodded at his question as you laughed a bit and sat up on the carpeted floor, crossing your legs under you. “I’m okay. Can we actually sit here for a sec? The floor is pretty comfortable.”

Tom smiled amusingly at your drunken actions and proceeded to sit down across from you on the carpeted floor of the hallway.

It was quiet for a few moments, and things mainly consisted of you silently admiring his face and him attempting to decipher what you were thinking.

“How are you and Lily?” You asked him. The question randomly came to mind, and before you could stop it from coming out of your mouth, it was blurted.

To say Tom was confused about your words would be an understatement. He hadn’t posted anything about his new relationship yet since it was still slightly recently, and he was nowhere near ready to do so. When you two were together, it took over ten months until you both decided to “go public” with your relationship.

“We’re good,” He answered after his brief moment of confusion. “I didn’t even know that you know about Lily and me.”

Your shoulders lifted in a simple shrug. “I was talking to Harrison about a month ago, and he accidentally mentioned it.”

That conversation was something you remembered all too well. Specifically, the bittersweetness you felt when Harrison told you that Tom was with someone new. You knew that it was a good thing, and overall you were happy for him, but you couldn’t help but feel the tiniest twinge of sadness, knowing that Tom being in a new relationship meant that things were truly over for the two of you.

The thought made you feel a thousand times more upset than you knew you would’ve felt if you were sober. And it also made you feel like an idiot because you were the one who ended things all those months ago, so you shouldn’t be feeling sad at all. But if you considered the circumstances which made you end things, your emotions entirely made sense.

“Hey, are you okay?” Tom was quick to notice how upset you looked, and his voice was full of concern.

God, now you absolutely hated the fact that you were drunk. It made the tears that were threatening to spill from your eyes feel uncontrollable.

You ultimately swallowed back the tears and sad thoughts, letting your drunken mind roam to a place that was much less depressing. “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. I just— Nevermind. Hey, do you remember that time we went to Disney and became completely obsessed with the churros? I swear we both had like five that day.”

You had no idea how your mind brought you to thinking about and bringing up that story, especially because it was something you hadn’t thought about in forever. But the memory always made you laugh, just as you were doing right then.

Tom laughed too as he nodded his head. “That feels like it happened so long ago, but yeah, I remember that. Honestly, I’d go back to Disneyland just for the churros.”

The more you thought about that memory, the more you missed those times with Tom. It made you wonder if he missed that as well. Does he miss me too?

Even though you were drunk, your brain was smart enough not to ask that question. However, it was sadly not smart enough to stop you from saying the next thing you said.

“Can I tell you a secret?”

Once again, a confused expression took over Tom’s features. He had no idea where you were going with your question, but he still nodded his head, quite curious about what you were going to tell him. “Sure,” He said along with the nod.

You leaned a tad bit closer toward Tom and dropped your voice to a whisper. “Sometimes I wish that I didn’t lie to you at the airport by saying I wouldn’t do the same for you, which was basically me saying that I didn't love you. Because I really did love you.”

Your softly spoken words lingered in the air between you and Tom for many moments after they fell from your lips.

If you somehow remembered what you just told him in the morning, the smallest part of you that was sober knew that you would completely regret the confession you made.

However, you were unsure if you’d regret the confession more than the actual lie you had told Tom all those months ago; because that was something that the deepest part of you regretted every day.

• • •

The next time you two would see each other was very uncertain. Tom was getting on a plane to London, which was what led you to drive him to LAX, and it was a flight that you would’ve taken with him if there weren’t some things you needed to handle in Los Angeles for the next week.

You were both pretty good at making set plans on when you would see each other next, especially considering how busy your schedules could always be. But, this time was much different. A photography job was going to be taking you to New Zealand for the next six months, and Tom was going to start filming a new movie in Canada in a couple of weeks. It felt like your lives were moving in two completely different directions.

You had known that fact for a long time, but you loved him so much that you always pushed away all of those doubts and worries that would flood your mind.

The past week was when you finally decided to stop. You couldn’t halt the thoughts that took over your brain, and quite frankly, you didn’t want to. Mainly because of how much sense they made. Both of your respective careers were exponentially growing, with your nature photography becoming more recognized and Tom receiving more acting jobs. And those facts were something that you knew would only continuously draw the two of you farther and farther apart.

“So, I’ll see you soon?” Tom’s questioning words pulled you out of your thoughts, and you turned to look at him as he began gathering his things from your car, knowing that the drop-off point you had to park in front of didn’t allow for too long goodbyes.

You were quiet for a few moments, having absolutely no idea how you wanted to word your next statement. Tom looked over at you with curious and hopeful eyes, and that expression made what you knew you had to say feel a million times harder.

“I don’t know,” You finally said, the words coming out soft and almost too quiet, but Tom was still able to hear them.

His eyebrows furrowed in immediate confusion, and he stopped his actions of attempting to make sure everything was in his carry-on backpack. “What do you mean?”

“Next week I’m going to New Zealand for six months, and you’re going to film in Canada. And then after that, there are probably just gonna be more jobs that will push us further away from each other. Our lives are moving in two completely different directions, Tom.” Your words came out rushed, but that didn’t change how true they were.

“We know how to make things work, though. We just had to do a long period of long-distance a few months ago when I had to be in France for a month, and you were here, and we made it through that,” Tom told you, and there was that hopeful look again, making your heart lurch the longer you looked at him.

You pulled your eyes away from him and turned your attention downward for a brief moment. “Yes, we did, but it was still so hard, and we both knew it. And even then, we at least had a set date when we knew we would see each other again. Right now, we have absolutely no clue, and it’s just going to continue to get harder.”

Tom wanted to rebuttal your statement, but he didn’t know the exact thing to say right then, so instead, he opted for the dreaded question, “So what does that mean for us?”

A beat of silence went by before you answered him with, “I think we both know what that means.”

“Just say it, Y/N,” Tom said, and you could already see the hurt that was brimming behind his features. It made you hate the fact that you'd become able to read him so well. You turned your gaze away from him and instead focused your eyes on the Nevada license plate of the car that was in front of you.

This was it. There was nothing more you could do to tread around the words that had to be said.

“I think it would be best if we broke up.”

Silence prevailed in the small space of your car for what felt like hours but was actually just barely a minute. A car honking from behind you put an end to the quiet, and you finally turned to look at Tom.

“You should go. You’re gonna miss your flight.” The fact that you were still processing the last words that you just said to Tom made your voice sound distant and quiet.

Tom was quick to shake his head. “I don’t care about the flight right now. You can not expect me to give up on us so easily, Y/N.”

You didn’t know what to respond to him with, so instead, you just gave him the smallest shrug.

“I love you. We can figure everything out and make it all work,” Tom told you. “If there are times where I need to give up an acting job to make sure that we’re not away from each other for months at a time, then I’ll do it. I really don’t need to take on every role that is offered to me, and I won’t if that means I don’t have to lose you.”

You knew exactly how true those words were, and that was what scared you. In a heartbeat, Tom would give up any acting job if that meant he would get to spend more time with you, and you would do the exact same for him. However, you knew that that was not a good thing. You had always been someone that thought about things long-term, and you knew that regret would eventually spur from both ends if the two of you continuously did that, and that regret would lead to resentment. That was exactly what you did not want to happen.

Once again, you were quiet, not responding to his words with anything, so Tom took that as his cue to continue on, saying something that almost mimicked your previous thoughts. “I know you’d do the same for me too, Y/N. We love each other so much.”

You did love Tom so much, sometimes maybe even too much. And you also knew that he loved you the same amount too; it was a fact that was easily confirmed from the current pleading look in his eyes. However, as much as it hurt, you knew exactly what you needed to do.

“No,” You said with the slightest shake of your head. You took a shallow breath and disconnected your eyes from Tom’s before you finished off your sentence. “I wouldn’t do the same for you.”

There was no need to look at Tom to gather his reaction to your words because you had a strong feeling what it was. Hurt and heartbreak. And that was something that you really did not want to see.

The sound of a car honking again behind you broke the growing silence again, and Tom took that as his cue to finally exit your car. He said nothing to you as he slung his bookbag over his shoulder, grabbed his suitcase from the backseat, and then headed into the airport.

You had just told him something that was a complete and utter lie, and as much as you wanted to chase after him and tell him that your statement had been just that, you didn’t. As you watched his figure become smaller and smaller as he continued inside the expansive airport, you noticed that he did not turn to look back at you once. That was what let you know that the damage was done.

Your heart hurt like hell right then, a completely self-inflicted wound, but you knew that in the long run, your actions would prove to be the right thing. The pain from it all would ease up eventually.

• • •

Tom had absolutely no idea what to say in response to your confession. He was beyond confused and had no idea if you were even telling the truth; he honestly hoped that you weren’t.

That day at the airport was fucking heartbreaking for him, and if it actually had all been just a lie, he wouldn’t know how to feel.

Before he could utter any type of response to your previous words, your drunken mind moved to a completely different place, disregarding everything that had come out of your mouth less than a minute ago.

“I’m really tired,” You said and stood up from the cross-legged position you were in on the floor so that you could start heading to your hotel room.

Tom wordlessly followed suit, and less than a minute later, the two of you were standing in front of your door. You pulled your key card from your pocket and managed to unlock the door after receiving some help from Tom. Using the card was something that had already been slightly difficult to do sober, so adding your drunkenness to the table did not make it any easier.

When the door was opened, you began to step inside the room, but you stopped when you decided to pull Tom in for a hug. He felt completely awkward and tense at the action, but that was something that you didn’t at all notice due to your inebriated state.

“Goodnight, Tommy,” You said to him once you pulled back from the embrace. The nickname you used to always call him, slipping out way too easily.

“Goodnight, Y/N,” Tom responded, forcing out a small smile. His mind was still completely stuck on your drunk confession, and he knew that he would be thinking about it all night.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

let me know your thoughts! <33

[marvelouspeterparker]

You are a little drunk and you kiss your best friend woman, Tom gets jealous for it

hope you don’t mind i made this a frat!tom blurb :) 

you were a clingy drunk, for sure. and a touchy one at that. and tom didn’t have a problem with it at all, he trusted you one hundred percent and you felt the same with him. but sometimes you could get a little excited when you had too much to drink.

you were currently at tom’s frat’s party, playing with your best friend against harrison and tom in a game of beer pong. to no surprise, you and your friend were winning by a long shot, it was almost embarrassing. tom loved you, he really did but he couldn’t help but be a little annoyed. you both knew how competitive he was, he couldn’t help it. 

you bit your lip and closed one eye dramatically as you aimed to throw another ball. it all felt very exaggerated and unnecessary but you always did like being dramatic. and with perfect aim, the ball landed directly into the cup in front of tom, making a little splash as it bounced. 

tom’s eyes were glaring at you as he picked up the cup and threw the ball out without even glancing at it. you pouted playfully at him, “aww tommy don’t––” you paused to hiccup, “be mad, i made it fair and square af––ter all.” 

he licked his lips and downed the drink in one sip, crushing the red solo cup and dropping it onto the floor before wiping his mouth with a swipe of the back of his hand. god, you could see his veins so prominent in his arm, his muscles flexing as he crushed the cup––the shine of his watch contrasting against his pale skin. he looked good. you have to admit it, the sight made you clench your thighs together, and tom, ever observant, noticed of course and smirked at you before grabbing a ball.

you could tell that he was aiming for the one in front of you––or rather, one of the many. and by some miracle, he made it in for the first time in three rounds. you raised your eyebrows, pretending to be impressed and tom just passed his tongue over his teeth teasingly, as he rearranged the backwards cap on his head, “drink up, darling.” 

you pursed your lips, trying to hide your cheeky smile and drank the beer in two big gulps, wiping away the drops that spilled down your chin afterwards. 

several rounds later, you and your friends aim were getting a little sloppy, so tom and harrison had caught up slightly, leaving two cups on your side and one on theirs. 

“uh oh ladies,” harrison joked, “better watch out.” 

you and your friend rolled your eyes, “whatever”

your friend turned to you and put her hands on your shoulders as you stared into each others souls, trying your best not to burst out laughing. “we got this.”

“fuck yeah we do.” you turned back to the game, it felt like your gaze was burning through the ball, that’s how attentive you were. you watched the trajectory of the ball as harrison threw it, the arch near perfect, before it landed in one of the cups. 

you closed your eyes and groaned as you heard the boys celebrate and high five on the other side of the table. since you had drank the last cup, your friend got this one, and she tried her best to hide her grimace as she finished the last drop. 

seeing as you reached a tie, tom couldn’t help but speak up, a smirk on his face as he did so, “one more cup, love. try not to screw this up, if possible.” 

you rolled your eyes and flipped him off. he put a hand to his chest in mock offense and harrison let out a chorus of “oooh”s. you shook them off and took a deep breath. your friend squeezed your free hand in support and that was all you needed. 

with that, you kissed the ball and threw it. all four of you held your breaths simultaneously as you watched it fly across the table. after a few excruciatingly long seconds, it landed in the cup and you and your friend both let out a huge sigh of relief while the boys cursed under their breaths. 

you and your friend jumped up and cheered before hugging each other, almost knocking yourselves down in the process. you turned back to see tom staring at you. 

“tommy you’re not gonna congratulate me?” you pouted mockingly, leaning over the table with both hands, giving him a very generous view of your cleavage. 

he clenched his jaw, “don’t wanna let it get to your ego so no.” 

you glared at him playfully, “not even a small kiss to say good job?”

he shrugged and you were about to complain when your friend spoke up.

“i can give you one,” she smiled cheekily at you.

you and your friend were close, and you both knew you wouldn’t regret it in the morning since it was a meaningless kiss so you shrugged and grabbed her cheeks while she grabbed your waist and pressed your lips together for no more than two seconds. you pulled away and giggled at each other, turning to see tom looking at you with his jaw dropped open and harrison with his eyebrows raised to the highest possible point on his forehead. 

“w––what––that’s not fair!” tom put both his hands on the table as he looked at the two of you incredulously. 

“i say they do it again,” harrison proposed jokingly and tom slapped his arm, making him raise both his hands in the air in mock surrender, “alright, alright!”

“how is that not fair, tom?” you crossed your arms, “you were being mean––and didn’t wanna kiss me,” you looked to your friend before looking back to your boyfriend, “and she was kind enough to give me what i wanted.” 

tom sputtered before you interrupted him, “it’s not like it meant anything––i could kiss harrison right now and it wouldn’t mean a thing.” you pointed out nonchalantly. you were joking of course, but you just liked to get him riled up, even when you weren’t completely clear-headed.

tom’s eyes widened comically. he whipped his head to the side and pointed at harrison, “don’t you fucking dare––”

harrison backed away, eyes wide, “wasn’t going to, mate!”

you furrowed your brows and tilted your head, deciding to tease just a bit more, “why wouldn’t you wanna kiss me?” you paused to swallow a burp, “am i that unattractive?”

now it was harrison’s turn to sputter, he reached his hands out as though to console you, though he was all the way on the other side of the table. “what? no! that’s not––” 

“fucking watch it mate––” tom slapped one of his best friend’s hands, making him turn to him, offended. 

“hey!”

they both started slapping each others arms like little kids, muttering out nonsense and you couldn’t help but laugh. they were snapped out of their “fight” by the sound of you and your friend giggling at them. 

next thing you knew, tom was making his way over to you. he grabbed your hand and pulled you away. he brought you to dimly-lit hallway and put his hand on your neck, pressing you against the wall. you gasped and looked up at him, but before you could say anything your eyes fluttered shut as he pressed his lips against yours, slipping his tongue in to toy with yours when your lips parted to let out a moan. his thigh slotted between your legs to press against your core and you groaned into the kiss, grinding your body onto his. 

after what felt like a lifetime that ended all too quickly, you whined as tom bit your lip and pulled away, kissing your jaw before whispering in your ear. “i hope now you remember just who you belong to.” he ran his thumb over your lips before sliding it into your warm mouth. his lips parted as he watched you bob your head around him as if it were his cock and he felt himself throb. he pulled his thumb out and you looked up at him, doe-eyed as he stared at you with lust. “those lips are mine. remember that.”  

[prettyspence]

Hanging in the Inbetween

Summary: Moving to DC proves to be the right move when you meet Emily Prentiss, finally come out to your brother, and feel like you have a happy future with somebody you could actually love.

Tags: 18+, smut, reader-insert, coming out, internalised homophobia, getting together, smut/kink tags under the cut

Pairing: Emily x Reader

Word Count: 4.2k

Read on AO3

Smut/Kink Tags: top!emily prentiss (but the lines kinda blur), light dom/sub, fingering, sex toys, dirty talk, kink negotiation, first time

You moved to DC for a few reasons, the first of which was that you wanted to get the fuck out of Virginia.

The move to Richmond from Manassas hadn’t even helped much: you were working in your dream field and had some distance from your family, sure, but Virginia’s still the South. And after you came to a very poignant realisation about yourself earlier in the year, you wanted to get as far away from the bigotry that defined your lived experience there as possible.

The second reason was that you missed Aaron. Your brother had moved away when you were only little, but you’d always been close and he was the only family member left that you felt you could genuinely trust with your secret, even if the idea of telling him that you liked women still left you frozen with fear.

So when he invited you to brunch with his colleagues at the FBI you agreed in a heartbeat, it seemed like a great way to meet new people in your new city and spend time with your incredibly busy older brother simultaneously.

If you had any doubts about your sexuality, Emily Prentiss would have eradicated them. As soon as she’d walked into the cafe, her enigmatic presence had captivated you and you were hooked, addicted, obsessed. She smiled warmly at you but all you could do was stare dumbly at her as you shook her hand, eventually managing a weak smile in return. It was as if she was glowing, the others dimming in comparison as you took in her breath-taking beauty. Every time she spoke your breath caught, aching to bask in her voice for the rest of your days.

It felt so dramatic, childish almost. You’d never understood that ‘take your breath away’, ‘at first sight’ kind of love, but you knew it as soon as you met Emily.

But Emily was this gorgeous, confident woman. You knew she was a lesbian, she didn’t hide that from anyone and frequently made jokes about it, and while you shared her identity, the way you approached it couldn’t have been more different. Sure, if anyone looked hard enough, they would catch the adoring looks you sent Emily at every get-together, the way you blushed at any interaction with her. Hell, even she probably knew.

But it could never happen. After years of conservative indoctrination and being surrounded by people convinced of your ‘sin’, you were still on your journey to accepting yourself, still sometimes sick to your stomach every time you remember that you weren’t ‘normal’, that your parents wouldn’t see you as their daughter as soon as you told them. So you hide under layers of facade, wear a mask of confidence over your crippling insecurity and internalised homophobia, pretend that everything’s fine when it feels like you’re crumbling under the surface.

You thought you’d crumble further when Aaron inevitably discovered the truth about you, but really it’s the moment where your foundation starts to rebuild itself. It happens completely accidentally one evening, you don’t mean to come out at all. You’ve been so careful at using gender neutral language for so long. You always talked about a future ‘partner’, said ‘they’ when talking about prospective relationships, the kind of words that don’t attract questions or attention. But you slip up.

“Have you thought about getting back out there, Y/N?” Aaron asks one evening, when you’re both sitting on his couch having a much needed catch-up. “I know it’s been hard after you and Samuel broke up, but maybe you should think about putting yourself back in the scene.”

“God, Aaron, you are not talking about my love life, please,” you groan, swatting his arm lightly. He’s not usually interested in what’s going on in your romantic relationships as long as you seem happy, but it’s been pretty obvious how low you’ve been recently. It’s sort of sweet that he’s talking about something he feels so awkward about to try and make his sister smile.

“I’m serious,” he smiles fondly. “I want to see you happy again, like you were with Tom, remember?”

You were not happy with Tom. You’re not sure you’ve ever been happy in a relationship (for the obvious reason that none of them were women) but you’re pretty damn good at pretending, so you can hardly blame him.

“Ahh, I don’t know, Aaron,” you grimace. You can’t think about anyone but Emily right now, God you’ve tried to move on but everyone seems to pale in comparison at the moment. “When I finally get a girlfriend I want it to be real, you know. An accidental meeting, nothing manufactured…”

You trail off as you see his eyes widen and face contort in surprise. Immediately, your stomach sinks and eyes brim with tears as you realise how badly you’ve fucked up. Jumping up from the sofa, you run to the bathroom and lock yourself in, barely able to contain the sobs as you feel your world implode around you. Fuck, you’re out. Aaron knows.

You sink down to the floor and fold yourself as tightly as possible, trying to hold yourself completely as you feel your walls crashing down, anxiety taking over. It’s only minutes after you’ve barricaded yourself in the bathroom that you hear the knocks at the door.

“Y/N,” Aaron says softly. “It’s okay, I’m not angry, I was just surprised. Why don’t you come out and we can talk about this? I’m not mad, I promise.”

It feels like it must be some sort of trap. Surely Aaron isn’t really okay with it? Choosing to trust your brother despite your scepticism, you peel yourself out of your protective position and splash some cool water on your face in an attempt to calm yourself down a little before unlocking the door.

You must look utterly miserable because Aaron’s face immediately softens and he envelopes in a warm, protective hug, the kind that used to reassure you in your childhood and still has the same effect today.

“Why didn’t you tell me, Y/N?” he asks as he guides you to the sofa, voice gentle.

You take a deep breath before you explain everything, finally unloading the emotional turmoil that’s been whirling around inside you for months, connecting with another person properly since you realised yourself. You weren’t lying anymore; Aaron knew the truth.

Aaron basically forces you to stay over that night, tucking you in the way he used to do before he left for college, left for Washington to be a big bad FBI agent. You don’t fight him. It’s nice to be taken care of again, to feel really close to your brother for the first time in a long time.

Instead of crumbling, your foundation is firmer. You genuinely feel like you can do this, like you have a happy future ahead of you again.

⭐️

It’s a Tuesday evening and you’re running across town, butterflies swimming in your tummy. An excited smile is playing over your face on the metro, in the taxi, while you run down the road towards Aaron’s apartment. You keep checking your phone to confirm this is really happening, but the text message isn’t leaving; it isn’t a delusional mirage borne from isolation and desperation.

Hi Y/N, how would you feel about grabbing coffee with me later this week? ;) Feel like we haven’t had a chance to properly get to know one another! Let me know - Emily

You pound on the door as soon as you get there, knowing Jack is at a sleepover with his friend tonight, squealing as soon as Aaron opens the door. He smiles amusedly as he lets you in, practically bouncing with excitement as you thrust your phone in his face. “Is this what I think it is?” you ask eagerly as he reaches a hand to steady your shaking ones so he can read the message.

“I don’t know, Y/N,” he says. “It could be. I’ve seen the way Emily looks at you, this looks like an invitation on a date to me, especially with the winky emoticon, but equally, she might just be asking you as a friend.” He smiles sympathetically as he says that, hating to temper your excitement. He’s never seen you this happy over a prospective partner and he doesn’t know how he missed how unhappy you were with men.

You giggle at Aaron speculating over the message as you would’ve done with your girlfriends back home. “She doesn’t know I’m gay,” you reason. “But I’m pretty obvious so she probably guessed. Maybe she really does want to go on a date with me!”

“Well, why haven’t you messaged back?” he asks.

“I wanted to tell you first,” you say, a little shyly. It was just nice to share in your truth with somebody. You couldn’t help feeling so eager about it.

He smiles fondly down at you. “Why don’t you make your message back a little more flirty?” he suggests as he makes his way to the kitchen to get you both a drink.

“Ooh, okay,” you muse. Subsequently, the next half an hour is spent agonising over the appropriate response, giggling and squabbling together in the way you used to before life got in the way.

Emily, I’d love to! It would be a great pleasure to spend some more time with your gorgeous self ;) How does Thursday at Cooper’s work? Maybe late morning?- Y/N

As long as we don’t get a case, I’m there :) - Emily

(If Aaron does his utmost to ensure there isn’t a case, well that’s nobody’s business but his own.)

⭐️

After agonising all morning over the perfect outfit, you hurry across the city to get to your favourite cafe in time to meet Emily. You arrive first, ordering yourself a coffee and a pastry and finding a cosy seat in the bay window, your favourite spot. Thankfully, it’s not overly busy and Emily spots you as soon as she walks in not long after you’ve sat down, grinning widely as she approaches.

“Y/N, I’m so glad we could finally do this,” she says earnestly as she gives you a hug.

“I know,” you smile shyly, returning her hug and revelling in having her so close, feeling the warmth of her body against yours, catching the gentle notes of her perfume.

“I’ll just go order a mocha and I’ll be right back,” she smiles, heading over to the counter.

You sit back and just watch her, how graceful and powerful she looks as she moves, how assertive and confident she is. Her gorgeous raven hair frames her face so perfectly and her body looks so strong under her smart, professional but stylish outfit. She smiles beautifully as she comes back over, holding a pastry in her other hand.

“Ah, another pastry addict,” you say, still a little shy and flustered.

“Oh, don’t you know it,” Emily chuckles self-deprecatingly. “Nothing better than a buttery pastry mid-morning, right?”

“Mm, I’ve got a huge sweet-tooth,” you confess. “I’ll do pretty much anything for a sweet treat.”

She laughs loudly at that, looking at you with so much warmth you think she might light you on fire. “I don’t blame you,” she agrees. “The team knows that if I’m grumpy, all I need is something sugary and I’m back on track.”

“You’re so lucky to have such a wonderful team,” you tell her, smiling back at her. “I’m so jealous of you and Aaron, surrounded by all these amazing people.”

“Oh, I know it,” she says. “Found family is important, and I rely on them a lot. I never thought getting into the FBI would change my life this much.”

“Oh, really? What led you to the academy?” you ask, gazing at her adoringly, not bothering to hide it. If you’ve misread the situation, so be it. You’re fed up of hiding, you’re going to take this risk, dive head first into it.

You chat amicably over coffee and pastry for over an hour, and when she frowns and tells you she has to get back to work, you can’t help the raging disappointment inside you. You’ve never felt this connected to somebody, ever. Maybe it’s just that Emily is the first woman you’ve allowed yourself to crush on properly, but it feels like more than that. It feels real, reciprocated even. You can’t help the burning excitement in your chest as you think about what it might be like to be close to her, to call her your girlfriend, to kiss her, to come home to her.

She gives you another hug before you part ways and the smouldering imprint of her body against yours keeps you warm the whole journey home.

⭐️

It’s nearing 7pm when you hear the knock at the door. You uncurl yourself from your cosy position on the sofa and put down your hot chocolate, leaving the movie you’re watching playing quietly in the background as you get up to answer it.

“Emily?” You’re a little bewildered to be honest. Wrapping your cardigan a little tighter around yourself, you send her a puzzled look, but you’re curious, too. “What are you doing here?”

“I need to tell you something,” she says, face serious. “I’m done screwing around; we’re not children, so let’s talk about this like adults.”

Right on cue, butterflies start swimming in your tummy, partly nerves, partly warm fuzzy hope. “Okay,” you say, still a little confused, but you guide her to the sofa and gesture for her to speak.

“I like you,” she says, taking a deep breath. “I’ve liked you since I met you and you intrigue me. I want to know more about you. I think you’re absolutely gorgeous, inside and out, and I’d love to take you out for dinner, on a proper date.”

You’re stunned for a moment, not entirely sure you’re actually awake. “Yes,” you say as soon as you reboot, reaching out to grab her hands gently. “Yes, please, that sounds amazing. I like you, too, I’ve liked you since I first met you.”

Her face lights up at your admission as you share a heated look before leaning in for a gentle kiss. You scoot a little closer to her and place your hands tentatively on her waist, only feeling emboldened when she leans a hand up to place on your neck, the other finding your hip. As you melt into her touch you feel her melt into yours, a mutual melding; a coming together.

It doesn’t stay chaste and gentle for long, however, quickly finding a rhythm that properly conveys the intense passion and amour filling the room, Emily eventually leaning forward and pushing you back slightly on the couch so she can lean more of her weight on you. This must be heaven. No kiss has ever felt like this, not even with your long-term boyfriends, no-one has ever made you feel the sparks that are flashing in your tummy right now.

“Hey, is this too fast?” she asks as she pulls back a bit, breathing heavily as she reaches a hand up to brush some of your hair away from your face. “Do you want to slow down?”

“No, no,” you deny, desperate to continue. “I don’t want to stop, I just… I haven’t been with a woman before.”

Your confession is shy, tentative; you don’t want to scare her off, but she simply smiles softly down at you, continuing to gently caress your hair. “Don’t worry about that,” she says. “We’ll see where this takes us and if you want to stop or slow down just tell me, alright?”

“Yeah,” you agree before leaning back in to continue the kiss, pushing your hand up under her shirt slightly and feeling her toned abs, the soft curve of her waist. It only serves to make you wetter, the feel of a woman under your palms more euphoric than you ever could have anticipated.

She moans as you explore her midriff, pushing your shirt up to do the same, and if you thought feeling a woman was amazing, being felt by one feels incredible, shivering under her touch as she runs her fingers up and down your waist, pushing your shirt up even more to caress the sides of your breasts.

“Off.” You obey and sit up a little bit to shrug off your cardigan and t-shirt as she does the same, both left only in your bras and pants, pressed skin-to-skin on the sofa. “Fuck, you’re so gorgeous, Y/N,” she moans, kissing you deeper as she tangles her fingers in your hair, tugging a little at the strands.

“Emily,” you whine as her other hand comes to your breast, teasing you with a finger slowly before running her thumb over your nipple through your lacy bra, squeezing gently. You’re already a dripping mess for her, this is already the best sex you’ve ever had, and you’ve barely started.

“Let’s go to the bedroom,” she suggests, pulling back a little to sit up before taking your hand and letting you lead the way. “Take your bra off and lie down on the bed.” Her voice is soft but there’s an authority to it that calms you slightly. You may not know exactly what you’re doing but Emily does and she’s going to take care of you.

“I have a few toys,” you confess shyly as you follow her orders, watching her with blown pupils all the while. “They’re washed and clean, and there are condoms and latex gloves, too.”

“Oh?” Emily asks, quirking an eyebrow slightly.

“They’re in the bottom drawer,” you say, blushing wildly as you share your sex toy collection with the woman you’ve been crushing pretty hard on for a while now.

She immediately lights up and rummages through, a playful smirk colouring her face as she pulls out a few options. You take in the fairly sizable dildo -- a favourite of yours -- the finger vibrator you’d bought only last month and a butt plug you’d had for years with hungry eyes, excited for what she has in mind.

“Before we really get going, let’s talk,” Emily smiles gently, leaning over to kiss you softly before pulling back. “What are you into, up for, wanting to try?”

“I’m not really sure,” you say, blushing awkwardly. This kind of discussion is fairly foreign for you. “I’ve never enjoyed sex before because it was always with a man.”

Emily pulls a face to make you laugh before nodding in agreement. “Okay, well how about I tell you a few of the things I like and you can tell me if you’re comfortable with them? And if you do try it and you’re not into it we’ll just stop, yeah?”

“That sounds like a plan.”

“Great. I like to be on top mostly, I’m quite a dominant person but I can tone that up or down to whatever you like, too,” she starts. “I’m very into dirty talk -- a little mild verbal degradation etcetera -- I love clitoral stimulation and don’t get much from internal simulation so maybe you could use this finger vibrator on me while I tell you what to do? And I could use this dildo on you if you’d like, the butt plug, too?”

“With my boyfriends the only time they could make me cum is if they got really into dirty talk, calling me names and stuff” you confess, “so that works for me, especially if you alternate with praise. And I’m happy for you to top and be more dominant, that sounds… good. All of what you said, I want, except I think the butt plug is a bit adventurous for today?” Your face must be fire engine red but Emily is looking at you fondly so you clearly haven’t turned her off with your inexperience or bashfulness.

She grins at you before leaning in to kiss you again. “Perfect. If I say or do anything you don’t like, tell me immediately. I won’t be offended, okay? I’ll do the same.” You nod in agreement, blush calming down as she settles her body over yours, a comforting, reassuring weight in an unfamiliar scenario.

She quickly gets the lube and condoms out and once she’s ready, Emily trails latex covered fingers down your waist, tickling slightly and revelling in the shiver she elicits, before slipping beneath the waistband and pressing gently, teasingly against your clit. She presses another kiss to your lips, deepening it against your moans as she moves down to push a finger inside.

“Emily,” you cry, panting as the initial pressure against your walls makes you see stars, warm wetness helping to ease her fingers inside. She slowly works you open as she alternates between kissing you, sucking on your neck and whispering dirty, encouraging platitudes in your ear.

“Do you think you’re ready to take my cock, princess?” she asks, tone dripping and sultry as she whispers directly into your ear, licking a stripe over the shell as you moan loudly. She holds the condom-covered dildo directly in your line of sight as she presses her own heat against your thigh, rutting slightly to ease her own immediate arousal.

“Yes, Emily, please” you beg, pushing your thigh up so she can use it properly, getting an appreciative moan in response.

“Good girl,” she praises, kissing you again as she lines up the dildo, easing it into you gently, pausing when your aroused moans betray a hint of pain. “God, you took that so well. You are a dirty little slut for me, aren’t you? Built to take my cock.”

“Yeah,” you whine, writhing as you feel the fullness of the dildo inside you, moaning again as Emily starts to fuck in and out. She starts out slowly before speeding it up, fucking you hard with your own dildo as she murmurs absolute filth into your ear. “Stop, stop.”

She stills her hand immediately, but you quickly ease her mind. “I’m close, don’t want to come yet.”

At that, she beams down at you. “Good girl. I think it’s my turn to get off, don’t you?”

Technically, she’s been grinding down on your leg the whole time she’s been fucking you, but you get what she means and reach for the finger vibrator, dildo still wedged firmly inside you, while she rolls onto her back. You fit the vibe onto your first finger and turn it on, thankful you recently changed the battery recently as you slide on a latex covering over your finger. She smiles encouragingly as you maneuver her hips to the right angle before teasing her a little with your middle finger to ease her into it before pressing the vibe to her folds first, thoroughly enjoying the jerk her hips make at the pleasure, before working your way up to her clit.

She throws her head back and moans wantonly as you work her over, running your other hand up her side before making your way to her breasts, leaning down to suck and bite gently at them as she cups her hand against the back of your neck, keeping your mouth where she wants.

“Keep going,” she moans as she approaches her orgasm, rutting against your finger as you swallow her nipple into your mouth with renewed vigour, desperate to bring her off. She shouts your name as she cums, squirming around your finger as her hips writhe with pleasure, eyes screwed close. It’s a beautiful sight, seeing a woman cum, and it’s so much better than whatever you’ve seen in porn, because you did this. Emily’s orgasm is your work of art and you couldn’t be prouder to sign your name against it.

“Good girl,” she sighs as she comes down. “You did so well. Now, shall we finish you off, baby?”

You’re virtually there already, seeing Emily’s pleasure had been getting you closer and closer to your own orgasm. It only takes Emily rolling you onto your back, kissing you again and fucking you a few more times with the dildo  that’s stayed inside you the whole time while fingering your clit just teasingly enough to get you over the edge, powerful orgasm crashing over you as Emily whispers praise against your ear. It takes you out for a minute, lost in the haze of pleasure and its aftermath, feeling so right in that moment that you never want to leave it, wrapped up in Emily’s arms while you hang in the inbetween of a dreamy daze and reality.

Eventually, you blink your eyes open, meeting Emily’s glassy ones and smile up at her, working the energy up to roll her over and kiss her again in earnest, knowing exactly what she likes by now.

“What was that for?” she asks after you break apart, chuckling a little at your eagerness.

“A thank you,” you murmur, smiling fondly down at her.

“The best thank you you could give me is a dinner date later this week,” Emily grins. “And I’ll thank you afterwards with another mind-blowing orgasm, how does that sound?”

You stare down at her for a moment, wondering how on earth you managed to win somebody so perfect, before shaking out of it and smiling softly again. “That sounds perfect.”

[myhockeyworld87]

Bubble Wrapped - Part 6

Word Count: 3,708

POV: Reader

Warnings: Same as always, Language, Smut, NSFW, Please see the note in the Masterlist

Teams: Bruins, Caps, Flyers, Lightning and Pens

Notes: So I decided to concentrate on this story a little more than my other ones, since we are now in the conference finals. So my two other stories will sit on the backburner for a bit. Don’t worry they will be back and I still work on them from time to time. But for now please enoy this one...haha As always feedback is welcome! Happy Reading!

It seemed like every time you saw one of the players in the lobby, you were trying to determine if they were the one that sent you the cryptic text message. Cross-referencing the information that you had on the players didn't help as you didn't have most of their phone numbers in the hotel computer system. Two days later and you were no closer to finding out who sent it then you were the day you got it. "I don't know Car, it's putting me on edge," you told your best friend over coffee out in the courtyard.

"Does it matter? It's not like you've had a horrible time with any of them. Or have you?" Carly's eyes got wide at just the thought.

 "Of course, not."

 "Well then no harm, no foul right?" She shrugged and took a sip of her drink. "You need to have some fun. You've been so wound tight over this, I doubt you've gotten off in the last forty-eight hours." You literally almost spit your iced coffee out of your mouth. "What? Have you? You haven't told me about anything since the Sid thing, and that was almost three days ago if you consider that was the night before."

 "I don't tell you everything you know." You countered once you'd regained your composure.

 "Look getting off by your own hand over the phone with Tyler, does not count. And don't try to tell me that didn't happen." Carly tapped the side of her cup waiting for you to answer but then decided to keep going. "I mean he did buy you those shoes, the man had to get something in return. Not to mention, you were flushed when you came back down to the lobby."

 "Oh my god, shut up!" Well if she had just experienced what you did, she would've been hot and bothered as well. "And it wasn't my own hand," you hissed back.

 "OH! Do tell?"

 "What are we telling?" Brayden Point asked as he sat down beside Carly and now it was she who was blushing and not you.

 "Just talking about the schedule," you said in hopes to cover.

 "Please (Y/N), it's not like Brayden doesn't know about your little sexcapades." The fact that you were trying to think of several ways to murder your best friend with a cup of coffee, should've been evident with the look you gave her. "He was playing strip poker with us," Carly added by way of excuse. "I was just saying she's tense and that she needs to get some."

 "Oh if that's all, there are about a dozen guys within earshot willing to help you out with that you know." He said looking around the courtyard to see who was there. "In fact…"

 "Don't you dare." Your teeth were clenched as you sternly chided Point. "Just because you two are fucking like rabbits every spare moment doesn't mean that I need to."

 "I'm just saying, pick one of these guys and they'll literally be putty in your hands. You don't know how many of them are sexually frustrated." This wasn't a revelation by any means out of Brayden's mouth. You'd seen the looks even from guys that shouldn't be giving them. Why you'd let the text message bother you so much you didn't know, but you needed to get out of this conversation that was for sure.

 "Yeah, yeah, I know." You told them both. "You two enjoy your….break. I expect you'll be back working in say…an hour Car?"

 Brayden checked his watch then quickly got up, grabbing Carly by the hand. "An hour…yep, I'll have her back by then."  The two left and you just sat there chuckling to yourself as you sipped on your iced latte macchiato. Scrolling through your phone, you weren't surprised to get a text message from Tyler. He'd pretty much messaged you all the time and of course, you'd enjoyed another night of fun over FaceTime as well. Which Carly knew nothing about thankfully. You flicked over to messages to see what Tyler had to say today.

 Tyler: Hey Babygirl! How's bubble life today?

 (Y/N): Just enjoying some sunshine at the moment. How about you?

 Tyler: Just missing you. When can we FaceTime again?

 (Y/N): Are you missing me or just horny?

 Tyler: Can't I just want to talk to you? I miss you.

 Why did Tyler have to say things like that? He was a natural flirt but lately, he'd been taking your whole friends with benefits things and pushing it to the border. The only thing you could do is try and guard your heart for he wasn't the relationship type of guy.

 (Y/N): You can, I just know you 😉

 Tyler: Sometimes I wonder if you do…

 (Y/N): What does that mean?

 Tyler: ….

 Tyler: Nothing…

 Tyler: Can we talk soon though?

 (Y/N): Yes, you have a game tonight, right?

 Tyler: Yes

 (Y/N): Well I'll be watching and cheering for you.

 Tyler:  ❤

 (Y/N): I'll call you tomorrow

 Tyler: Promise?

 (Y/N): Yes ❤

 Tyler: Good, miss you 😘

 "Boo," you heard from behind you as someone jabbed your ribs. Quickly you closed your phone not knowing who just made you jump out of your seat.

 "Tom, you scared the shit out me." Tom Wilson scooted in the seat beside you, even though there were empty ones where you wouldn't be on top of one another.

 "I'd say I'm sorry, but um not. You're cute when you're flustered like this."

 "I'm not flustered," you insisted even as your heart still wasn't beating properly.

 "Mmmhmm, well you were certainly lost in thought. What's so interesting on that phone?" He tried to grab it away from you, but you were faster.

 "Business, which you don't need to see."

 "Oh, thought you might be reading over a certain text." He had a wicked gleam in his eye and suddenly you knew that he was the one who you'd been wondering about for the last two days.

 "And what text would that be? I don't think I've gotten anything in important."

 "Aww, come on (Y/N), don't play hard to get. You know I haven't forgotten that you still owe me that kiss?" Wilson nudged you and gave you a little wink.

 "And what have you come to collect it now? Out here where everyone can see us? Because I clearly remember you saying something about not wanting to do it with a pair of eyes watching?" You weren't opposed to kissing Tom, in fact, quite the opposite. He was handsome and perfectly chiseled in all the right places. Though you wouldn't mind getting his shirt off of him and checking out his abs. Tyler had the perfect six-pack abs, but you had a feeling Wilson could give him a run for his money.

 "I'm not collecting it now, just thought maybe I could set up a little date to collect later tonight?"

 "You don't have a game or anything?" You knew he didn't, but you also didn't want to seem overly eager at him coming to your suite.

 "Not until Monday, so my night is pretty free."

 "I suppose we could work something out." You glanced down at the calendar on your phone, already knowing that you were free. "Anytime after eight should be good." You were actually free before that, but he didn't need to know that.

 "Fine, then I'll see you at eight and be prepared for the night of your life."

 "Someone's awful confident." You told him as he strolled away.

 "With good reason," he mouthed back before heading back inside. God, he could be so cocky at times. You really needed to get back inside and make sure things were running smoothly, now that the bubble had been more open you had not only your teams there but the others as well, as they were allowed to use all the amenities the hotel had to offer which were quite a lot. Walking back inside the hotel, it was hard not to notice there were players everywhere. It occurred to you then, that you had a type, and that type just happened to be every man walking around in your building. Each day it got harder and harder to concentrate on actually working, but that's what you did the rest of the day, finally calling it a night around seven.

 You headed up to your suite, grabbed something quick to eat, then waited for Tom to show up. Eight o'clock came and went and still the handsome winger didn't show up. You were beginning to think that Tom just liked to play games and you weren't in the mood for them tonight for, despite your protests, Carly was right; you were in the mood for a little fun. When ten o'clock rolled around you completely gave up on him coming and headed upstairs to get ready for bed. At least Tom's absence let you keep your word to Tyler as you were able to catch his game. Unfortunately, he didn't quite play as well as you knew that he wanted too.

 You were just about asleep when you heard a loud knock at the door, so throwing on your robe, you padded down the stairs to answer it. The clock on your phone told you it was just past eleven. When you opened the door and Tom was standing there you weren't really surprised. "I'm sorry but the offer expired about three hours ago." You told him before going to shut the door.

 "Babe, don't be like that," he said jamming his foot in the door so that you couldn't close it. "Sorry I'm late but it couldn't be helped."

 With a roll of your eyes, you stepped aside to let him in, though you weren't entirely sure if you were letting him stay or not. "You have two minutes before I throw you out of my room."

 "Don't be like that. I had to watch film and then the guys got to talking. I couldn't just get up and tell them I was coming up here." He made a move to run his hand down your silk-clad shoulder but you brushed him off. "If I would've done that, you'd have bigger problems then me being late as every freaking player would be at your door."

 He had a point, as so far none of your escapades had gotten out, at least to your knowledge. "Do you want a drink?"

 "Would love one." He followed you over to the fully stocked bar.  Grabbing the bourbon off the shelf, you poured yourself a dram on the rocks, while cocking an eye at him for his choice. "Make it two, though I'd prefer it neat." Sliding the glass over to him, you took a small sip, letting the liquor warm you up, not only to the night air but also to the man in your room. "So, does this mean you aren't mad anymore?"

 "I was never mad, Tom. I'm just not a person to be kept waiting. There are plenty of men in this hotel in case you haven't noticed."

 "Look I get it, you didn't have to wait for me, but I'm glad you did." You let his hand grab your waist and pull you toward him. It drifted lower to the swell of your ass and suddenly the liquor wasn't the only thing making the room hot. "Do I still get that kissed I'm owed, or are you saving it for someone else?"

 You pretended to mull it over in your mind. To say that you hadn't thought about it, since that first night would've been a complete lie. "What do you say we play for it?" This all started with a game of pool; it might as well end there.

 "Ok so I win and I still get the kiss." He stated and you nodded your agreement.

 "And if I win, I get to choose if you do or don't." If he could play nice then maybe you'd let him have a prize at the end, but if not, you could send him on his way.

 The confidence in his gaze wasn't lost on you as he agreed to the terms. You racked up the balls then let him break. As a striped ball went in, he claimed those, leaving you with the solids to clear off the table. When it came time for your first shot, you took the opportunity to stick your ass out just a little more tempting him for making you wait for him. His hand went to caress the silk, yet you straightened. "Tsk, tsk, you haven't won yet," you chided him then bent back down to take your shot, which went in. You sunk the next two as well and you could see that he'd underestimated you.

 "I see how it is," he remarked lining up for his next attempt. "You try to act all cute and innocent when this is really your game and you're making me pay." His ball traveled across the table, going down in the corner pocket. The two of you were pretty evenly matched in this game it would come down to the end to see who would be crowned the victor. Though until that time, you took a minute to appreciate his fine form. Long lean muscles that stretched across the fabric of his shirt made your mouth water. He bent over the table, just as you did, giving you a nice view of his firm bottom. All in all, Tom Wilson was a perfect specimen of the male form, that was for sure, and as the game went on you wondered if what was underneath his clothing was just as flawless.

 When it was finally your turn, you didn't miss the opportunity to turn him on as much as he did you. Your robe, now draped seductively off your shoulder, giving him a chance to ogle over your breasts. As you looked across the table you couldn't help but notice the distinct bulge in his pants and you bit down on your lip as you took the shot. There were a few shots left on the table, as you made your way over to take a sip of your drink, letting your hand ghost along his thigh as you reached over for it. You heard his sharp intake of breath, then felt his hand skim over your hip. "What if I declared you the winner right now?" He asked, his hand now rubbing circles on your skin and you could feel yourself getting damp.

 "Hmm," you hummed your response, your body already deciding to give in to him. His hand moved the tie of your belt where you felt him fiddling with the fabric there before he undid the knot. "How about we call it a tie?"

 His eyebrows raised at your words and you could tell he was intrigued, but he didn't know if he should proceed or not. "If that means we both win, I'm all for that." You took that last step, so that you were fully between his spread legs on the barstool that he occupied, before leaning down and covering your mouth with his. He abandoned his drink so that his hand could sneak inside your robe and caress the silk chemise you wore. Your tongues tangled with each other as the kiss grew hot and heavy. Tom clearly knew how to kiss, as your brain started to get fuzzy and lose all train of thought. The cue stick landed on the marble floor with a thud and then you heard it roll away as it dropped out of your hands so that you could thread your hands threw his hair. Tom stood then, walking you both backward until you bumped against the pool table. His hands that had been on your hips moments ago, now trailed up your sides to your shoulders where he pushed the sleeves of the robe off and it fell to the ground. Breaking the kiss, his mouth traveled southward, down your neck to your collarbone, where he sucked tenderly at the skin there. Your head fell back giving him great access, as you moaned out in pleasure. This is exactly what you wanted and needed, to feel someone's lips against your skin. Why you'd denied yourself this pleasure over the last couple days you didn't know.

 The strap of your left chemise fell off, exposing your breast yet still covering the nipple. Tom's hand came up to cup it then, his lips ghosting ever so softly, till he revealed the peak and then took it inside his mouth. He tweaked and nibbled there, then lifted you up on the table, scrunching your chemise up at the same time. He tugged you close to the edge, spreading your legs before dropping down to his knees. "No panties?" He questioned and you simply shrugged. It wasn't like you expected him to come knocking at your door or anyone for that matter. It was just a preference you had when you slept. He licked between your folds then, tasting your essence before slipping a finger inside you. You wanted more of his tongue for that one little lick just wasn't enough but he didn't give it to you. Instead, his finger worked in and out of you. It was nice but it would never be enough to get you off.

 When he added a second you moaned your approval hoping for more, but still, it was lackluster. He kissed your inner thigh, your stomach, everywhere but your clit, which was seeking attention. "More," you urged and he took that as a cue to thrust his fingers in and out of you faster. It wasn't enough yet you could see the eagerness in his eyes. How could someone so skilled with kissing not use those lips to pleasure your pussy. Skating your hand down your body, you found your clit and started to rub, but he nudged your fingers aside. You whimpered and he took that as a good sign as his fingers started to slow. The man obviously wasn't used to taking cues from women for you felt his fingers slide out of you thinking you'd cum. Short of coming out and telling him to suck on your clit, which you were pretty close to doing, you were sure you weren't going to get off. You pushed yourself up to a sitting position, backing him off at the same time. Maybe he was better with his dick then he was his mouth.

 You switched positions, him now leaning against the pool table and you kneeling in front of him. You reached up and yanked his bottoms down, setting his cock free. It was average in size and you brought it to your lips, where you dropped little kisses all around the head and shaft, before opening your mouth and sucking it inside. Tom's hands pulled your hair back so he could see you sucking on his cock. "So pretty," he murmured as you swallowed most of him in your mouth. As you took him out, you pressed your tongue along the underside of his dick. It was a move that drove him wild as the hand that was in your hair now urged you back onto his member. You hollowed out your cheeks sucking more and more of him inside, as his hips started to flex into you. He held your head still as he fucked your face. When he hit the back of your throat you gagged and coughed. This only spurred him on more as once again he was thrusting into your mouth. Your hands snuck down to squeeze his balls. It sent Tom over the edge, and you felt his hot cum hit the back of your throat. You swallowed the sticky substance down, though if given a choice you would've rather not. "That was so fuck hot," Tom said as he helped you to your feet. "Your mouth is amazing." You would've like to return the compliment but it wasn't possible. There was always hope that the sex would be better, well that was until, he said, "You wore me out, woman. I'm exhausted." Really? So, he gets to cum and you don't. Where was the fairness in that? He reached for his shorts and pulled them back on. So that was that then.

 You grabbed your robe off the floor and put it on, then walked him to the door. No reason for him to stick around when you needed to head back upstairs and get yourself off.  "Well…" you started and weren't really sure what else to say. "It's been…interesting." That was at least one way to put your evening with Tom.

 "Yeah, we'll have to do it again sometime." He said then kissed you. All you could think of was, why couldn't he have used those techniques on your pussy.

 Once the two of you broke apart, you bid him goodnight shutting the door behind. Was it bad to hope that the Capitals got knocked out in the first round? You supposed as long as you kept that thought to yourself it wasn't. By the time you dragged yourself upstairs you ended up just falling asleep, you already knew that tomorrow you were going to be having more fun with Tyler on the phone and well even though it was a vibrator, it was a lot more fun than anything you'd experienced with Tom that night.

 Morning came and you went about your normal routine.  Again, the hotel was crowded as it seemed more players from the other hotel were coming over. There was a ton of interaction between all the guys and for the most part it seemed friendly. You were just about to grab a quick bite for dinner when Logan came up and grabbed you. "There's a fight in the lobby. You've gotta come quick." With all of his false alarms recently, you were reluctant to believe him, but since you were only a room away you hurriedly followed him to the lobby. Unfortunately for you, Logan had been telling the truth as you saw fists start to fly.  

[petersasteria]

Some Things Never Change - H. Osterfield

Pairing: Haz x Reader Requested? Yes by @blueleatherbag 888 words

HO Masterlist || Disney Masterlist

"𝐌𝐚𝐲 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐥𝐮𝐜𝐤 𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭, 𝐦𝐚𝐲 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐛𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐭."

Love is unfair. It always was and it always will be and that won’t change. Even if love would be on your side, life would get in the way and fuck it up for you. Only a handful of people were lucky to find love that can last for the rest of their lives. Love isn’t always supposed to be romantic. It can be friendly or associated with your family or yourself, even if it’s quite hard to do so.

Losing someone is unfair especially when you still love the person. This is what happened to you.

It was really unexpected and you never thought Harrison was capable of doing it, but it still happened. It hurt, of course it did. It was all over social media and you were constantly asked about it, but you didn’t say anything. After all, silence is the answer sometimes.

He didn't cheat on you, but he suddenly decided that you weren’t enough for him and left you for another girl he just met. It hurt a ton, but you had no other choice except to let him go.

Now, years later, you meet again and see him with the girl he left you for. Everyone went wild.

You have recently won an award for best actress, bought a new house, got casted in a lot of movies, and reached one billion followers on Instagram. Everything was going great until your fiance decided to call off your wedding because he claimed that he didn’t love you anymore and that the spark was gone.

You were absolutely devastated. No one could blame you, though. You thought he was the one. Despite feeling that way, you still continued to be your usual self even though it hurt so much to act so happy in front of everyone. Your five-year relationship with your fiance just ended and no one could get over that quickly.

Just like every year since you met Tom a long time ago, you were always invited to his birthday party. When you and Harrison broke up, you stopped going even if he still invited you. This year wasn’t any different. You got an invitation that said you must RSVP before the deadline and of course, you’d read it and write an email back saying that you thank him for the invitation and you’re not going… again.

The only thing different was that you received a text from Tom telling you to go and that it would be a nice birthday gift to him if you showed up. He missed you and despite being in the same industry, you’ve never seen him since your split with Harrison.

After a lot of thinking and back-and-forth compromising with Tom, you finally agreed. There were conditions, though. You told Tom that you’d go to his party if he allows you to stay in the backyard after you greet him. He didn’t want to agree, but at least you were at the party.

When you got there, you caught up with Tom for a while before he was dragged by his other friends to play some drinking game. You grabbed a drink for yourself, went to the backyard, and started making calls to cancel everything you planned for your wedding. You even brought your ‘wedding notebook’ to see if everything has been cancelled. As you ended the call from the flower shop, you heavily sighed not hearing the door closing behind you.

“Hey Y/N.” You heard a voice say. You turned around and saw Harrison smiling at you as he walked towards you. He gestured to the seat next to you and you nodded for him to sit down, so he did.

“What’re you doing?” Harrison asked as he pointed at your ‘wedding notebook’. You closed the notebook and shook your head, “Just making some calls. What’re you doing here? The party’s inside.”

“I know, but I figured you needed some company.” Harrison said. You gave him a small smile before sitting in silence together. You were just relaxing and breathing in the fresh air when Harrison cleared his throat, causing you to look at him.

“I’m also here to say sorry.” He sighed.

“For what?” You asked with furrowed eyebrows.

“We never really had closure and I just want to say sorry for leaving you and for making you feel bad. I know you like to blame yourself for things and I just want to tell you that it’s not your fault. You ARE good enough.” Harrison said.

You shrugged and said, “Past is past, Haz. It’s alright. I moved on and for me to move on, I had to forgive you for leaving and I had to forgive myself for blaming myself.”

“We have our own lives now, Haz. Our careers have been doing really great and we’re so lucky that we have luck by our side. I just hope that it lasts because it’s the only thing I have right now.” You added with a light chuckle.

“Does this mean we could be friends again?” Harrison asked with eyes full of hope.

You looked at him with a smile. You held his hand and said, “Of course we can be friends again! We understand each other and there’s never a dull moment between us.”

“That’s true.” He laughed. “Some things never change.”

* * * *

This kinda sucked lmao but yeah

𝐇𝐀𝐙 𝐎𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐅𝐈𝐄𝐋𝐃 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @blueleatherbag @cocoamoonmalfoy @thatforgottenangel @parkerpeter24 @turtoix @givebuckyhisplumsnow @hotforharrison @chewymoustachio @sarcasticallywitty15 @yourstrulyamour @pearce14 @juliediggory @lharrietg @thevelvetseries

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @holland-styles @trustfundparker @calltothewild @holland-parkers @hufflepuffprincess24 @tommysparker @justasmisunderstoodasloki @quaksonhehe @call-me-baby-gir1 @itstaskeen @theonly1outof-a-billion @lost-in-the-stars03 @justafangirlduh @piscesparker @speedymaximoff @miraclesoflove @lexirv @blairscott

[murswrites]

Insane ⎯ John Shelby One-shot

Pairings: John Shelby x Solomons!FEM!Reader Fandom: Peaky Blinders MASTERLIST Word Count: 1.7k (ish) Warnings: Cursing, drinking, description of puking  SUMMARY: When you and your best friend go out for a drink at an unfamiliar pub, you run into John Shelby. A man who you just happen to “hate”.  Request from @encounterthepast​: If requests are still open could I go for John with "He’s driving me crazy” and “Have you totally lost your mind?” ... ? Thank you!! (Also I'm loving your social media AU)

A/N Hi! Thank you for requesting!!! It means a lot & I’m glad you’re enjoying SBE <33 I’m really proud of this? I actually thought about what I was going to do b e f o r e writing it... which is new to be quite frank. Y/F/N means “Your friend’s name” & Y/F/E/C means “your friend’s eye color.” I tried to keep them gender neutral since I made the reader female :D, enjoy!

Y/N Solomons was a name many knew. It was one many feared, except for John Shelby, of course. That sarcastic little fuck was always flirting and trying to hook up with Alfie Solomons’ sister. The fear that surrounded her, was due to her brash and no-nonsense attitude. Y/N, apparently wasn’t that way when she was young, she was sweet and wholesome. The war changed her, many say. But Alfie and John knew otherwise.

The fact that they were in the war beside (not literally) her, gave them a perspective many didn’t have. Alfie hadn’t wanted his little sister to be a war medic, but she was adamant about helping. The war didn’t change her, for say, it just caused her to grow up at an alarming rate. She went from the ripe age of twenty-four to practically forty in those long four years during the war. Being in your twenties usually meant partying and doing illegal things.

For Y/N, it was quite the opposite. She went through so much, trying to save so many lives, and losing so many due to the lack of supplies. It was hard, but she made it through by becoming numb to it all. And John Shelby seemed to be the only bloke able to get through her stoic surface. Managing to make her irritated with a smirk or snarky compliment. 

“Look, it’s that angry woman.” John would sometimes say, or he’d say something that held a double meaning. “I bet you like being in control everywhere, love.” The pet names were annoying enough as it was. Y/N hated and loved the attention in a strange way. She never got the attention of men anymore, it surprised the younger Shelby boy. Y/N’s beautiful, everyone knew that.

Everyone also knew that she was Alfie’s sister and that often scared men away. But not John, John’s adamant. He’s insistent that Y/N has feelings for him too. So he tries, for months he tries to woo her in any way possible. Little does he know that it is in fact working. Y/N took a long time to master appearing unamused and uninterested. It was hard work, but holding her angry resting face became a habit, a mask… hell, even protection.

Showing no emotions gave her an advantage. When all others showed everything with their faces and body language, she was left to read them like books. John Shelby was one of those people, he was young and she knew that. Along with reading him like a story, she could tell that he wasn’t pulling her leg. That he actually found her to be interesting and he wasn’t interested in forming a contract between them too. One to mutually benefit the Solomons’ and the Shelbys. 

Y/N wouldn’t lie, he intrigued her. How he blatantly flirts with her even with Alfie present. It entertained her, watching Alfie lose his shit over harmless flirting. “I don’t like that boy one bit.” Alfie often spat out while stroking his beard thoughtfully. 

—

 “He’s driving me crazy,” You mumbled while holding your head in your hands. Y/F/N and you were out drinking, it had been a long day with Alfie moaning and complaining about everything under the sun so Y/F/N thought it’d be nice to forget it all for one night.

Y/F/N turned to you, a drink in hand, and raised an eyebrow, “Alfie?” You chuckled, that was a reasonable question. All damn day, your brother had been cursing up a storm and complaining about everything in sight. 

“No, John fucking Shelby,” The annoyance in your voice was clear as their eyes widened. You haven’t ever openly complained about John’s pestering, perhaps it was the alcohol pushing your thoughts out. You picked up the full glass– it was whiskey, Irish, your favorite –and downed it in one go. “Always askin’ me out and fucking flirting with me… it’s annoying as fuck.”

“Maybe if you sleep with him, he’ll stop?” The slap you sent to Y/F/N’s arm startled them, your eyes were cold and hard.

"Y/N Solomons doesn’t lie with any man, especially not a fucking Shelby.” You spat your words out bitterly, tapping your glass on the counter to let the barman know you’re empty. The bar that the two of you sat in, wasn’t the usual place you chose to forget in. It was dark and kind of gross. But that didn’t matter, the alcohol was making your brain fuzzy, that was what mattered. All that mattered was that John’s taunting was forgotten.

But it seemed like the original plan was stunted, the many memories of John giving you a cheeky grin or saying something obscene surfacing in the presence of the shitty alcohol. “Now that’s not a very nice way to talk about me.” Immediately, at the sound of hearing the bastard’s voice, you groaned loudly. 

“Just my fuckin’ luck. Where are we Y/F/N?” Their Y/F/E/C eyes looked toward the floor sheepishly, they planned this. “Of course.” The sound of your voice made your best friend flinch, expecting an outburst. John Shelby stood behind your chair, you could feel his presence easily. Since he often made an appearance during the meetings between Alfie and Tom, you saw John frequently. It was annoying, not enjoyable. 

You turned in your chair at the feeling of John’s hand on the back of it, raising an eyebrow in question. “Why, you’re at The Garrison, love. Best dam pub in Small Heath.”

“That’s debatable.” Y/F/N muttered under their breath. John calling you love was a normal occurrence, something he often did. You never paid any mind to the flirtatious comments that often left his lips. For some reason, tonight, the name caused heat to spread throughout your body. Your nose, ears, and cheeks felt warm. The thought of John seeing the blush oddly worried you. As if seeing you react would only entice more flirting. 

The pub was growing hot and you suddenly felt the urge to vomit. You quickly grabbed your purse and practically ran from John and Y/F/N, clutching a hand over your mouth on your way out. Thankfully the night air of Small Heath was cold and bitter. It helped you as you nursed the vomit from your bowels violently. It felt like you puked for hours before you walked away from the bush and leaned on the brick wall in an alleyway. 

—

“Jesus.” John’s voice brought you from your thoughts, why was he here? “Are you alright, love?” That stupid nickname… you cursed under your breath as John took a swig from a flask. He held the silver flask out to you and you gladly took it. The taste of vomit making your stomach churn even though puking now would only cause pain.

The alcohol burned your throat, but you welcomed the pain since it tasted better than the puke. “I’m fine.” You wiped your mouth with the back of your hand, itching to get away from the young man. It wasn’t that he disgusted you or made you want to punch him (although he often did). It was the feeling that your lack of sobriety made you feel with him standing there, with that shit-eating grin like he knew what you were thinking without even knowing.

John wasn’t ugly, you knew that, he even knew it. He annoyed you to no end, constantly flirting and trying to gain a reaction from you. The pet names, the jokes, the sinful glances… it wasn’t like you didn’t secretly crave the attention. You were beyond touch starved and you knew it was your fault. From being a blatant bitch to downright turning men down, soon they stopped trying. Add being Alfie Solomons’ sister to the mix and you’ve got the potential for a natural disaster.

Shelby’s and Solomons’ don’t mix. Everyone (not everyone. Those in the Peaky Blinders and Alfie’s boys knew)  in both Camden Town and Small Heath were aware of the icy slopes that the businesses were on. That any rock in the boat could shoot everyone off-board and into the murky water of the cut. These thoughts are the reason why you hesitated when John fucking Shelby kissed you with enough force that you had to grab the lapel of his suit coat. 

It was why your eyebrows screwed in confusion before you realized what was happening, right before you melted into his touch, you pushed him back harshly. John’s breath was ragged and fast, like he’d just been underwater. “Have you totally lost your mind?” You spoke over one another, “That was amazing.” 

John caught onto your words, his pale blond eyebrows also furrowing. “What–” 

“This would never work.” Your voice was stoic, John sighed as he realized that you retreated back into yourself. He saw the real you for only a moment it felt like, but it was a wonderful moment. When your hands held onto his suit and pulled him in. How heavenly your lips felt against his own. 

He nodded, jaw twitching, “We could make it work, Y/N. You and I– we’d be the most powerful couple in all of England.” You scoffed dryly, of course, he was thinking of business.

“And here I thought you actually liked me–”

“What? I do! No– that’s not what I meant, I meant that nothing could stand in our way, we’d be dynamite.” A laugh forced its way through your rouge lips, how hilarious… you thought to yourself. He was worried about his image and not how he truly felt. John’s cheeks were surprisingly red as he rubbed the back of his neck, this was an odd sight to see. The flirtatious Shelby boy… all meek and shy.

It made you feel powerful, like you held the strings that controlled him. You knew it wasn’t true but it was quite the sight to see, him blushing before you. All because you tripped him up with your confidence, so you did the one thing you’ve been forcing yourself to not imagine for the past few months. You grabbed the lapel once more, only this time, you were initiating the contact. 

John replied immediately by holding your cheek and neck lovingly as you two kissed passionately in the dark alleyway. The feeling was strangely euphoric, the adrenaline rush high, and your hands moving across one another’s bodies. Trying to feel every part of them. Soon though, you had to break apart for precious air. Your hair felt a mess and John’s cheeks were even redder than before, if possible. He had a smile on his face and you had half the mind to smack it off.

“You’re insane, John Shelby.” You whispered into the night, enjoying the feeling of his embrace.

“Says the Solomons girl.” John quipped back.

“Ouch.”

[south-park-meta]

Cataglottism – Kissing with tongue. RandyxSharon

There's something good to be said about a small town, and that's that you know everyone inside out and backwards. You know enough to have opinions on people you've never met, though the odds are you'll meet them eventually.

For the most part Sharon's opinions on people have never been the kind to change, whether she knew them firsthand or second. She's always trusted her gut. She's always felt like she's known right from wrong, whether that was found in something intangible or personified. She's never liked to second guess herself. Likely no one does, but she thinks she likes it less than most. Second guesses mean you might have made a mistake. She's a Catholic, raised the strict sort; her parents tell her it's actions that matter, not the intent, hide away your thoughts. The right thing to do is stick with her guns, always be dedicated, always be sure.

Randy's one of the only people she's ever changed her mind on. He's a year older than she is, and she only sees him in passing. He's got a loud enough personality she hears it without talking to him, and it's not what she likes to hear. He takes on dares readily, he'll chug glue or hot sauce and laugh while fanning his mouth. He'll sell his class on causes and shrug his shoulders and drop them two weeks later. He's in more than his fair share of fights, willing to brawl with anyone he thinks deserves it. The things she hears say he has no self respect and no real convictions. Violence has always bothered her.

Her brother, Jimbo, is five years older than she is. It's just enough of a difference that they aren't close the way siblings are meant to be close, like the best friends she sometimes wishes they were. But their parents aren't exactly parental, either; spare the rod and spoil the child, and all, and Jimbo puts pegs on his bike so she can stand on the back to come with when he goes to his friends' houses, and later always has room for her in his pickup once he starts driving. He's a hands-off kind of babysitter, but it's better than going home. The first time she talks to Randy is on one of these trips, when Jimbo takes her to see his friend, Mike. Mike's little brother, David, has some friends over, too, and one of them is Randy.

Jimbo and Mike take off down the hall. The younger boys are all sitting on the couch when she comes in. They've just started high school and don't get girls yet. She’s at the end of middle school, which is enough for them to see her as a kid, but she’s also only one year younger, which is enough to see her as a girl. They all offer up their spots on the couch for her. She rolls her eyes and sits on the floor. For the most part they ignore her as they make dumb jokes, but sometimes Randy will go, “Hey, Sharon!” or David will throw a little something at her back; she sees Randy give him a little shove out of the corner of her eye when he does. She reads an old TV Guide that Mike's parents have out on the coffee table. Then Jimbo and Mike start making noise from the bedroom in the back. She knows what they're doing, but in a way that's still a bit abstract in her mind. Her parents never have talked about sex. She’s picked up what she knows from her friends, who know only about as much as she does. She knows, though, that if Jimbo were doing this in their house he’d be packing his bags that night.

That's when Randy sits next to her and says, "So. Your brother's kind of...funny, huh?" in a tone like he's trying to be her friend. Or maybe like he's trying to console her. It would be an innocuous word except for the weight it carries.

Her nostrils flare. "You say that to his face and see what happens," she says, "He's going to be in the Army." He'd started the process just that week.

That's not the thing that changes her mind on Randy-- it makes her think he's worse if anything, and she steps outside to sit on the porch until Jimbo's ready to go. But it's the moment before the moment that she changes her mind.

Because there's something bad to be said about a small town, and that's that you know everyone inside out and backwards. Secondhand, if not first, and everyone hears about it in the end. When a few high school boys want to kick Jimbo's ass a few weeks before he goes to basic training, it so happens that Randy's one of the ones in the audience. The three boys that fight her brother are all at least sixteen, and even if they weren't it's not like Randy would be expected to do anything except mind his own business. No one else who's watching does. But he hops on in and fights with her brother instead of against him. Her brother's a good fighter. Randy's not, exactly, but he leans into punches to control the impact instead of trying to get away from them, and not that many people are willing to fight the instinct to avoid. Jimbo wins. He's a little pissed about it, says he could've handled himself and didn't need a fucking freshman helping him out, but he still takes Randy back to their house to steal a couple of beers from the fridge.

"I thought you'd be on the other side," Sharon says, sitting on the swing set in their backyard.

"Oh, yeah?" Randy asks. He's sitting on the second swing. He's definitely too tall for it. He doesn't sound offended. He takes a drink of the beer her brother gave him.

"You called Jimbo 'funny'," she reminds him.

"Well uh-duh," Randy says, "He was fucking Mike. That's some real....funny stuff." She has the feeling he would be saying a word other than 'funny' this time if it wasn't her brother. She also knows it's a word she's heard all over town, casual and normal, that still makes her insides squirm even as she ignores it. Jimbo himself says those things about other boys, and not nicely. "Doesn't mean he needs his ass kicked for it. 'Sides, it wasn't even a fair fight."

She hums. "Aren't you too young to drink?" she asks.

"What're you, my mom? God."

Somehow the way he says it makes her smile. "No," she says, "But I bet your mom's going to be mad about that black eye you've got." She chews her lip and suggests, "I can get my makeup, to try and cover it." She never wears it; her own mom would be mad if she did. She just tries it on in the mirror sometimes.

"I don't have to cover it," Randy says, "They don't care."

Either of his parents, then, instead of just his mom. He doesn't sound bothered by it, but it bothers her.

That's when she stops disliking Randy Marsh.

When he finishes his beer he invites her to a clubhouse that weekend. She accepts.

It's not finished yet, when she gets there. Gerald Broflovski and Stuart McCormick are the ones building it in Stuart's mom's backyard-- that's one of the kinds of secrets they wouldn't discuss in Sharon's family; that Stuart's parents are divorced. For what it is, the clubhouse looks good. They've been working on it over a year, apparently, begging for defective wood from lumberyards and construction workers and getting palettes to pull apart with crowbars for free from supermarkets. It means the wood's a little warped and not everything's been sanded, but it's big, impressive for having started at thirteen. Randy's the odd man out, she can tell. He says how good everything's looking and Gerald and Stuart share a look and a laugh, and Gerald says "Yeah, we know," in a pretentious sort of way. Randy doesn't seem to notice.

A few more girls and a few more boys show up, and they play spin the bottle with a chipped beer bottle they grab from the grass in the backyard. She kisses Randy for the first time then, crawling into the middle to meet each other on a floor made of palettes. She gets a sliver in her right knee for her trouble. The kiss ties her stomach in knots and just about makes her hurl, in a way she hasn't since she kissed Brian Haywood in third grade, and she's glad for the pain to distract her.

They don't exactly date. Not seriously, anyway, with labels. But she'll sit with him to eat lunch and they hold hands on the walk to school sometimes, and they go that way, untethered, for a while.

The first time they date, for real, is when he asks her to prom and she says yes.

Most of the night is good. Some of it isn't. Right at the end Randy gets in a fight with Tom, a boy who's had a crush on her for years, who she never gave a minute to even when all she had was sitting with Randy at lunch. They go to Randy's car afterwards, and drive out to the country a ways to sit. "I don't know why you do that," she says, "Get in fights." She'd liked it, though, when he fought to help her brother. And Tom's an asshole, the kind of boy who's pulled her pigtails and made comments about her breasts, and she doesn't really mind that Randy's fought him tonight, either. Sometimes, especially in the future, her tone will be more judgmental, or annoyed. Right now it's mostly honestly confused.

"Aw, I don't know," Randy says, earnestly. She likes him when he's earnest. "To feel something, I guess."

"Randy. Everything you do should make you feel something. We're on a date right now, doesn't that make you feel something?"

Randy gives her a very funny kind of expression, like he's missing something. Like he hasn't realized until that moment that he shouldn't have to be outlandish to have emotions that stick. "Well. Yeah. Kind of," he agrees.

'Kind of' isn't exactly romantic. But she can work with it. She grabs his tie and pulls him in for a kiss, and his lips part against hers. Her point takes a long moment to make, her tongue moving against his, her fingers letting go of his tie and curling up in his shirt. "Doesn't this make you feel anything?" she asks, but their mouths are together again before he can answer her.

Again they're pressing into each other, tasting each other, mussing up hair and clothes, before he gets out a, "Yeah. I do. I feel something."

It makes her feel something, too, it makes her feel in love, which she tells herself is silly, since she and Randy haven't had much of a real relationship. They've had friendship with kisses and this one date. But she goes with it. She's never liked to second guess herself.

[youresog0lden]

Josslyn (pt 3) II Spencer Reid

Read part one and two here

WC: 2.4k

A/N: some requested this but this will be the last part! 

Warning: cursing, and normal criminal minds things

 GIF IS NOT MINE !!!

masterlist

By the time you’re reading this it will be my birthday so I decide to write this part and it makes me incredibly happy !!

"Sometimes good thing's fall apart so better things can come in." Marilyn Monroe

Everything happens for a reason. I call everytime I get drunk but obviously you know that. I get drunk to get you off my mind but, it doesn't work. It never works, it does the complete opposite. I think of you, your smile, the way you like your coffee with this weird creamer. The way you only wear a tight long sleeve shirt tight black pants and your clunky docs. You smile every morning even if you're having a bad day. Even though the room is full of profilers. You still act happy. But the alcohol still doesn't make me forget.  I know you get my texts. I need to stop putting you threw this. I should've stopped two years ago. It's been two years. I have had to see you walk into the bullpen like you we're to happiest women on the planet. So, that's why I stopped I love seeing you happy. It almost makes me happy. I know I messed up trust me. I know I should be sorry. I really messed up but, everyday I could go up to you and get on my hands and knees and tell you how incredibly sorry I am and how bad I fucked up. I know I fucked up. It hasn't been the same with JJ and I. I can't stop thinking about the look on your face. It hurt me. I don't even know why I did it. We we're just caught up in the moment. She told me she loves me. Y/n she loves me. But I love you. I should have let it happen but ever since it did I can't stop thinking about you. I see you have a boyfriend, he seems like a nice guy the few times we met. He seem's like he could treat you better than I could. The way he looks at you, with such love. Garcia tell me you love him, and you couldn't see you're self with anyone else. While I admit that hurt I can say that it's good to see you happy. I'm happy for you as long as he doesn't hurt you, that's all that matters. I can tell you love him all you see in your eyes is the sparkle when he talks anyway. I'm sorry I haven't been there. I really want to. I want us to be like we used to be, before prison. But now everything isn't the same. I mean what can I expect. I ruined it but, I am going to let you go. I have to meet my mom in an hour and I'm not even ready.

                                        ~ Love Spencer Reid

I stare at the letter now sitting on my desk. What do I do with it now. Sam's going to be home soon and he'll flip if he reads that letter. Without even thinking I slip it into the holder for mail. He never goes in there. Without thinking I take my food to the couch eating it. Ding. I look at my phone seeing the lovely Emily has texted the group telling them we have a case. I quickly put on my jeans and boots grabbing my to-go bag before grabbing my keys locking up. I get in my car and drive down to the BAU. I swipe my key card going to my desk. Everyone was waiting for Emily and Garcia to walk into the bullpen to tell us to meet them in the conference room. My eye almost on instinct look for Dr. Reid seeing him standing there laughing with Tara. I look around before deciding to talk to JJ.

"Do you know what's going on?" I ask. I never had the right to be mad at JJ she didn't know Reid and I we're together. All she did was fuck up her own marriage and lose her best friend I couldn't be mad at her it wasn't my place. She nods her head no before seeing the bubbly blonde walk in with a tablet in her hand shaking it towards the conference room. We all nod following along except me. I set my bag at my desk and look around.

"Y/n." Garcia calls out.

"Yeah I'm coming." I say. I put the letter in my desk and walk into the room.

"Okay. What do we have." I say taking a seat next to Luke.

"Two dead."

"Meet Tom and Lilly Small."

" A husband and wife. They we're found dead in there home in Atlanta Georgia on Wednesday stabbed brutally fifteen times then shot execution style." Emily stated.

"Do they have any kids?" I ask.

"Yes two sons and a daughter." Garcia says.

"Where were they that night." JJ asked.

"Jason the oldest was at his house with his wife and son. They both can prove and so can there security cams. Zach was at a soccer game on his way home when it happened and Angel was upstairs with rope tied around her but nothing about what happened almost like she was drugged."

"Do we know with what drugs?" Reid questioned.

"A date rape drug called-" Garcia takes a second to look at it.

"gamma-butyrolactone or gbl." she says.

"GBL is a hygroscopic colorless, water-miscible liquid with a weak characteristic odor. It is the simplest 4-carbon lactone. It is mainly used as an intermediate in the production of other chemicals, e.g. methyl-2-pyrrolidone." Reid speaks. We all look at him for a brief second his eyes meet mine but, wanting nothing more than to do with him I look away. Who am I lying to. I am still madly in love with him. I shake my head hearing Spencer speak again.

"It effects the pathway to the brain." he finishes. I nod.

"Okay so she was drugged but how?" I asked.

"We don't but we have to get there soon. We are wanting to believe that the unsub will hurt again. Wheels up in 40." Emily said. All of us exit from the room. I walk to the kitchen with my coffee mug in my hand only to meet the one and only Spencer Reid. I don't say anything I just pull out the pot making sure to fill it with the coffee and sugar. Reid starts to look at me with these big eyes that say a lot. I gave him and unwanted smile and walk away drinking my coffee

----

"Ok Y/L/N, Reid go to the precinct and start the geographical map, Rossi and Tara talk to the family find any information you can out, Alvez you with me we're going to the crime site, after we'll go over to the coroners office." Emily finally finished. All of us nodding going our separate ways. Reid and I make our way towards the car heading down to the station.

----

"There's been a new murder." Emily says threw the phone.

"Where." Reid asked picking up this red marker.

"At Peach Tree Center." she says. He put's his hand on it putting a dot right where his finger is laid. Right then the phone ringed again.

"Hello." I sang.

"Hello my beautiful and my boy genius." Garcia called threw.

"Hi my pretty lady." I said

"Hey Garcia." Reid spoke.

"Okay so I just got a call from the one and only Rossi telling me that the daughter told us that her mom had a kid at 15. I guess she got pregnant early and gave her up for adoption. They just recently got in touch." she finished.

"But you'll never get this." she salted.

"What."

"Her adoptive parents we the family just killed." she finished. Reid and I looked at each other

"Where is she now."

"She is on her way down from New Jersey."

"Mark that." I call to Reid.

----

"Do you want some water." I asked coming into the room She sat there.

"So what part of New Jersey are you from?" I asked her. She  silently sat there still not saying anything.

"Ok, fine. It's in you're right of law not to talk. But you forget that I'm the profiler here. I watched you while you sat in here talking to Dr. Reid, I watched your micro-expressions. I watched as you barley blank when he mentioned the death of your mom. Now seeing that  you barley knew her I didn't expect you to be crying whale tears but for you actual family come on now. Not a single tear?" I questioned.

"Some people grieve different."

"Yes. They do but most people cry when a loved one dies. You know studies have been shown that most people who grieve cry but most psychopaths don't show emotion at all because they don't know how to show that emotion some were never raised into the right home some jsut don't know how." I say sitting down cupping my hands together.

"Now my question is why?" I ask.

"Why what?" she coyly.

"Don't play dumb with me." I smile right back.

"Awe is the Agent getting mad." I laugh

"Did you or did you not kill you're biological mom for giving you up and her kids and husband because they knew the truth and then went and killed you're adoptive parents because they kept this from you." I ask for almost a second you could see she broke. She didn't think I noticed.

"How would you know if I did."

"You made it very easy. You left Angel alive. She told us that she remembers a girl walking into her room and tying her up. She felt comfortable with her at first because this girl looked familiar but she couldn't put her finger on it. That's when Jason came forward and told us that you we're in the picture and that you always gave him an off vibe but, that. That right there wasn't enough to put you away. We had no proof. So we did a background search. You're not from New Jersey. You're from Maine. You're adoptive dad was a drunk and you're adoptive mom was not a mom she was trying to be you're best friend. You felt nothing almost as if you turned your emotions off like that." I snapped.

"Fine. I killed them." she screamed. I smirked and got up, walking out the door. The team was standing out there watching the whole thing there mouths a gaped.

"How-What?" Alvez laughed.

"How did you do that." Tara asked.

"You guys forget that this is why I was hired in the first place I am an amazing interrogator and profiler. " I smile at the lovely people infront of me.

"Hold up someone is calling me." I say walking away pulling out my phone.

"Hello this is SSA Y/L/N."

"Y/n." Sam's voice snapped.

"Oh. Hi my lovely." I smile.

"Where the fuck are you." he spat

"Wait are you with him-" he laughs

"Yes I am with him, and the whole team I work with asshat." I sigh.

"I found the letter." he states. I freeze.

"What are you talking about." I questioned dumbly.

"You know exactly what letter quit playing dumb. Are you going to tell him you love him to. Even after he hurt you?" he laughs bitterly

"I don't love him." I say in a hushed voice.

"Sure." he starts

"You know I hate it when you're with him." then he finished.

"Can you stop being so god damn controlling." I yell causing the looks of my team and a few others. Reid snapping his head first.

"Can you stop being such a bitch." he yells just as loud.

"Maybe I wouldn't be such a bitch if you stopped being so controlling."

"Whatever y/n well talk about this when we get home." I could just tell he was rolling his eyes, I decide to hang up the phone. I walk to the group a few of them letting out uncomfortable coughs. I just sigh.

"Sorry about that." I mumble looking down. They just nod all of us walking our own separate ways. I really need to talk to Spencer. I don't say anything I just kinda walk over to where he's grabbing his bag. Sam will get mad he always does but, I need to talk to him about this.

"Spence." I called him by the nickname. He looks over at me with wide eyes. He starts scrambling until I put my hand on his arm stopping him, and as cliche as it sounds but I felt fireworks. You shouldn't feel this way. It's wrong. I take my hand off his arm sliding them into my pockets uncomfortably.

"What's up."

"We need to talk." I say sternly. The blush rises up on him face.

"About what." he asked seeming to 'forget' about the letter he left me. "I can't stop thinking about the look on your face." He sighs before looking at me.

"Y/N I meant everything I said in that letter."

"I know and I just wanted to tell you that I forgive you. That I'm not mad anymore."

"You're not."

"No. It's been two years I can't stand being mad at you anymore it's tiring. I miss my best friend the one that I had before we started fucking around. I miss your stupid little facts in the morning or the nicknames you would give me. I miss walking hand in hand together into the bull pen. I miss staying up super later watching 'Doctor Who.' I miss you being the person who I can come to for anything. God Spence. I miss every part of you and I really fucked up getting into this relationship. I was just trying to move on and I thought I could but I can't I can't move on. I love you." I say.

"What about you're boyfriend." he almost cringes at the word boyfriend.

"I'm trying to leave him." I say softly.

"Why haven't you yet."

"Because like I said I'm trying to get over you."

"I love you any only you." I said softly.

"I love you." he says just as softly.

"God I love you so much." he finished.

"I'll break up with his as soon as I get home." I say softly. He hums in response. I grab the red tie he's wearing pulling my lips onto his. He wraps his arm around his waist and he wraps his around my waist and suddenly I feel at home.

[emmy-writes-sometimes]

Crush

The reader is an actress and meets Sebastian at a wrap party. Fortunately, they both have something in common; they have a crush on each other. 

-

           You woke up to the sound of your roommate and co-star, Tom, walking into the apartment you were sharing. You’d spent most of the day moping because you’d finally wrapped all of your scenes for Far From Home, and you were missing it already. You didn’t have many scenes with him, but Jake was the definition of crazy and you could have used some of that. Tom was already your best friend, and your roommate, so you always saw enough of him. And tonight was maybe the last time you were going to see everyone together; it was the wrap party and you weren’t sure you could even fit into your dress because you were so bloated from eating ice cream all day.

           “What’s wrong with you?” Tom asked, looking you up and down. You shrugged, looking over at the pint of ice cream and bowl of popcorn you’d left sitting on the coffee table.

           “Just moping,” you responded.

           “Well, stop. Get ready for the party and we can pregame.” You scoffed. You didn’t usually drink copious amounts of alcohol, but maybe tonight was the night. “Please? I don’t want to be the drunk one.”

           “Whatever,” you responded as you sat up. You cleaned up your mess before taking a shower, doing your hair and makeup, and getting into your dress. It was a little slutty, but you had been feeling confident when you got it because you were training at that point. You looked damn good in it, too, and there was one person you had your eyes on. Sebastian Stan, the guy who played Bucky. You’d met him a few times, but only in passing. You’d never had a conversation with him, but from everything you’d heard he was sweet. You were probably sweet to him, just a kid, but if you said you didn’t like him, you’d be lying. You had a hard crush on him, and while Tom had figured it out and insisted you ask him out, you’d refused. You didn’t know him, first of all. There was no way he would go out with someone so young. That, and your best friend was Tom. He was all but a brother, and contrary to popular belief he could be intimidating to anyone who got you home too late at night.

           “Ow!” Tom marveled as you walked out. “Now that’s what I’m talking about! Thank God, you look amazing.”

           “You’re supposed to tell me I’m always pretty,” you frowned.

           “You’re always pretty. Now come on, let’s go.” You grabbed your fully charged phone, your purse, and walked out of the apartment with Tom. He dragged you to two liquor stores before finding what he wanted, and then you Ubered over to Jake’s house. It was eccentric, to say the least. Like him. He was cool, though. You loved having him around.

           You drank the least out of both of them, worried about throwing up because of course Tom had to get tequila, and just sat back and laughed as they were their stupid selves. Finally the alarm on Jake’s phone sounded and another car picked you up to head over to the venue. You vaguely recognized some of the other actors, never really having met them since you weren’t in the other films. You finally saw Sebastian, standing with Anthony, and tried to come up with a reason to talk to him. You must have watched him for two or three minutes out of the corner of your eye before you saw him go up to the bar, probably to get more drinks.

           “Oh, can you get me one?” Tom asked when you muttered that you were going.

           “I’m going to shoot my shot, but maybe on the way back, big guy.” You pat his shoulder and walked toward the bar, ID in hand. You looked like a high schooler to anyone that knew you from movies, because you often played them. But with real makeup on you turned your actual age, and you could only hope that was going to serve you well tonight.

           “Oh, hey!” Sebastian said to you as you walked up to the bar, taking a seat at the counter. “You’re playing MJ, right?”

           “Yeah,” you responded with a smile. “I promise I’m old enough to drink.” He chuckled.

           “I believe you. I’m not so sure these guys will, though. I’m Sebastian, by the way. I played Bucky, with the hair.”

           “Didn’t recognize you without the fake arm and the face mask,” you said. “I, Tonya was a fucking masterpiece. By the way.”

           “That mustache never looked good on me, I don’t think. But it was such a good thing to work on, especially after doing all of these action movies. It was really fun.”

           “Oh, definitely. I’m doing an indie movie this summer and I can not wait to get a break from the action.” You continued a quick conversation until the bartender pulled you out of it, asking for your drink order. You went with a vodka cranberry, your usual, and noticed that Sebastian only got one beer for himself.

           “I’ll tell you what, I hate these things sometimes,” Sebastian said as he watched a room full of people that were only familiar to those who worked on the movie would know. “It’s like, thanks for inviting me, I know three people. Not that I’m not grateful, but…”

           “I know what you mean,” you interrupted. “I spent half the afternoon pre-gaming with Tom and Jake and I kind of just want to go to Waffle House and go to bed.” Sebastian raised an eyebrow.

           “That’s a thing? People in Atlanta actually, like, go to Waffle House?” You actually laughed out loud at that one.

           “Duh! I grew up in Florida and they’re definitely the best drunk food around. I was so sad when I moved to New York and couldn’t get any.” 

           Long story short, you and Sebastian talked most of the night. You even did shots together when Robert offered to pay for one for everyone. You spoke to Tom for a minute as he was getting another drink, but he saw you with Sebastian and excused himself back to where he was talking with Jacob and Harrison.

           “I thought they’d have more food,” Sebastian said quietly after a second of silence. “I’m half drunk and starving. This might be weird to ask, but do you want to go to Waffle House?” In ten minutes you’d both left the party and were on the way to get the best drunk food there could possibly be. You sat down in a corner booth that you and Tom often sat in on nights when you were just too excited to film the next day and couldn’t sleep.

           “I have to confess something,” Sebastian said as he was destroying a plate of hash browns a few minutes later. You looked up at him, stopping pouring the syrup all over your waffle. “I thought you were intimidating. Until I talked to you.”

           “That’s what everyone says! I don’t understand why because I literally look like a child.” He laughed.

           “No, you’re gorgeous. You just look like you could kill someone if they look at you the wrong way. And I respect that. You’re cool.”

           “Then I have something to confess.” Maybe it was the vodka and the tequila making decisions for you, but you were going to shoot your shot. If it ended up that he thought it was dumb, you could just turn it into a joke and take a bite of your waffle.

           “What might that be?” He wiped his hands on a napkin and waited. You looked away for a second, seeing a text on your phone from Tom asking where the hell you were.

           “I kind of have, like, a massive crush on you. It’s literally the dumbest thing ever, I’m twelve.” You drank a sip of water, waiting for an answer. Instead you got a grin from Sebastian. Those stupid, perfect lips were turned into a smile and his face was slightly flushed because he was still a little buzzed and he looked absolutely adorable.

           “It’s not dumb. I think I might have a crush on you, too. This doesn’t count as a first date, though, does it?”

           “It’s Waffle House, it’s basically a five star restaurant.” He sat back on the bench, thinking about something, and then responded. “Are you sure you want someone who can barely drink legally, though?”

           “You’re cool, that’s all I care about. You’re pretty and funny and I have a massive crush on you.” He turned your own words against you, and you couldn’t help but smile. “What are you doing tomorrow night?”

           “Nothing,” you responded.

           “Then, if that’s okay with you, I’d like to put this crush to the test and take you out.”

           “I’d like that.” You looked down at your food and continued eating, glad that you’d finally told him you liked him. You couldn’t have imagined your night ending that way, but it did. Once Sebastian begged you to let him pay for the food he had sobered up enough to go back to the venue and get his car.

           “I can get an Uber, you really don’t have to drive all the way across town.”

           “I want to,” he replied with a smile on his face. So you got in and he drove you home. You groaned at the sight of a light still on in the apartment, knowing that Tom was about to grill you about where you’d been and why you’d abandoned him. “I’ll walk you up. It’s dark.”

           “Thanks.” He opened your door for you and let you lead him down to the apartment, where you stopped at the lobby. “I literally don’t even have your phone number.”

           “Oh, you’re right, hold on.” In a minute he’d Airdropped you his phone number and sent you a text just to make sure it went through. “I’ll text you. God, that sounds so lame. Is that what kids these days say?”

           “Yeah, pretty much. Thanks for walking me back up. Drive safe.”

           “I’ll see you tomorrow.” You were in absolute heaven when you turned around and walked into the lobby of the apartment, and just to make sure he was okay you watched him walk back to his car. He drove away a minute later and you turned to go to the elevator.

           “Where have you been?” Tom asked loudly, as soon as you walked into the apartment. “I was freaking out! Your location just said you were at Waffle House, but you didn’t respond, so I thought your phone got stolen or you died or…” He was definitely still half-drunk, you decided, when he stumbled over his words and his voice broke.

           “I was with Sebastian,” you explained. Tom smiled.

           “So you told him about…”

           “Yep. I told him I have a crush on him and he said the same thing. We’re going out tomorrow night.”

           “That’s my girl!” Tom high-fived you and giggled his way through the rest of the night. As you turned to your phone, you saw it light up with a text from Sebastian.

           Pick you up tomorrow at 7??

           Definitely.

A/N: I loved writing this one so I hope you like it too!!! A date with Seb would be 🥺🥺

[oldguardhc]

Old Guard hc #57

Prompt number: 18 - “You don’t see it?”

Fandom: The Old Guard

Rating: PG-13

Warnings/Tags: Joe and Nile, Joe grabs Nile’s wrist (below cut)

AN: Kind of a Dead Like Me AU. Gets real choppy below the cut, so here’s your warning. 

“You don’t see it?” Nile asks, following the little demonic creature with her eyes. She’s been seeing those damn things ever since she woke up in the infirmary at the base. They’re nasty little things, two feet tall, spikes on their head and back, a Voldermort’s nose, and an overall sickly appearance. Just looking at them makes her skin crawl. 

“See what?” Joe asks, following her line of sight. “The man in the green pants? I mean, it’s kind of hard not to see him. I’m pretty sure the grinch uses less green than that man.”

“What? Oh, wow, that’s a lot of green.” She knows several people who would kill to have their lawn be as green as that man currently is. She doesn’t think she’ll ever understand America’s obsession with perfect lawns. She shakes her head and drags her eyes back to the creature. It’s climbing up a tree at the moment. “No, I keep seeing these small demons. They knock shit on the ground, shove things in the way, they’re like a bad cartoon if I’m honest.” Tom and Jerry was more original than these guys. 

The demon is bouncing on a branch now, each bounce making the branch sway a fraction more than the last. Nile doesn’t know when she started holding her breath, but now that she’s aware of it, she couldn’t suck in a breath if she tried. She’s unable to tear her eyes away from the demon that’s getting more fervent with his movements. 

It’s a relief when the branch finally snaps, barely missing two bikers on the trail as it crashes to the ground. She watches the bikers turn around, realization slowly dawning on them of just how lucky they are. 

It happens so fast. 

The warning builds in her throat like molasses. By the time it passes her lips, both bikers are on the ground in one bloody mess. 

Nile’s up on her feet, phone in hand, ready to call an ambulance when a hand wraps around her wrist. She turns to look at Joe, “We have to help them!” 

Joe swallows and he looks pained for some reason. “Nile, it’s their time.”

“What?” She tries to break out of his grip but Joe tightens his fingers and starts to tug her away. “What are you doing? Let go!” What the hell is wrong with him? “Joe! They’re hurt!”

 “I know,” Joe says, continuing to guide her away, “there’s nothing you can do.” Nile digs her heels into the ground and yanks on her arm, forcing Joe to stop and look at her. She’s going to have strong words with him later about what’s appropriate and not. 

“You better fucking explain and let go in the next five seconds because I’m getting really pissed off.”

Joe blinks at her, looks down at where he’s still holding her wrist and releases her as if she electrocuted him. “Shit, I’m sorry,” Joe quickly apologizes, stuffing his hands into his pockets. Nile experimentally rolls her wrist, sees the way Joe is watching the movement with a guilty frown and she thinks, good. Her wrist is already fine though, any potential bruising or swelling gone. “We should go,” Joe says after a pause, glancing around the park. There’s a crowd forming around the two bikers, people frantically shouting at each other to get help and call an ambulance.  

“Why?” Nile almost shouts, managing to lower her voice to a hiss at the last second. Why are you acting this way? Why do we need to leave? What aren’t you telling me? 

“You’re seeing death and death doesn’t like us.” Nile squints at Joe. Did he eat crack for breakfast? 

There’s a crazed energy building within him and Nile doesn’t want to see what a 900-year-old man looks like when he snaps. Joe crosses his arms, “Quynh had your gift. Those things you’re seeing? They’re sadistic little bastards and they love us. So we need to leave before it clocks us and we wake up in a morgue,” Joe says, his voice tightening near the end. 

None of what he just said makes sense. She’s got more questions than before he started explaining, but Joe looks genuinely freaked out that she lets her sympathy momentarily win and nods, letting him set the pace as they exit the park. 

They don’t talk the entire walk home, hell they don’t even so much as glance at one another and she hopes he doesn’t think he’s off the hook. They still need to have words about grabbing her and whatever the hell she’s seeing. 

When they get to the empty house, Joe motions for her to follow him into the kitchen. He pours them both a drink and Nile takes her glass with a ‘thanks’ before sitting down at the table. 

Joe sits down in the seat in front of her and hangs his head in shame. “I’m sorry for grabbing you without your permission. That was very wrong of me,” Joe quietly says, looking up at her at the end. He looks genuinely sorry, and not like he’s only saying what Nile wants to hear. “I got scared, I know that doesn’t excuse what I did, and I wish I can take it back, but I can’t. I acted poorly, I hurt you and I’m sorry about that.”

Nile lets his words sink in. 

She fights back the instinct to immediately accept the apology. This isn’t something they can skirt around, not if they want to remain as teammates, much less as friends. “I’m more upset that you made a choice for me.” 

She can practically see the entire replay in his mind and she knows when he sees her point when he winces. “I’m new, Joe. I haven’t known you for two-hundred years, I can’t tell yet when to follow you with no questions. You have to explain stuff or at least say ‘Nile, danger. Explain later.’ I trust you to have my best intentions but you can’t—you gotta let me make that choice.”

Joe nods, hunching further into himself. “I understand. I’m really sorry, Nile.”

Nile reaches out to place a hand on his shoulder, “We’re going to be fine, Joe. I just need time to get on the same page.” She gently squeezes his shoulder, “I’m going to have this conversation with Nicky and Andy too. This was inevitable, looking back.” 

Joe huffs, a small smile creeping onto his lips. “I’m really happy you’re not afraid to set us straight. Booker,” Joe pauses, a flash of anger crosses his eyes, but as sudden as it appeared, it’s gone, leaving a trail of sorrow in its path. “It’s hard to have boundaries when you don’t care.” 

Nile doesn’t know what to say, and maybe there’s nothing to say. Booker is such a sensitive topic that it feels taboo to even think of his name sometimes. She gives his shoulder another squeeze and drops her hand onto the table.

Joe clears his throat, “Right, and onto the next topic. Quynh,” Joe closes his eyes, lets out a raspy laugh, and opens his eyes again, reaching for the drink. “We’re just going through all the difficult topics today, aren’t we?”

“I can wait,” Nile starts, she can tell how drained he already is and what’s a couple more days when they have billions more? 

Joe shakes his head. “This is important, will put you in danger for not knowing, important information.” 

She remembers Joe’s earlier words. Sadistic bastards. They love us. 

Joe sips at his drink and Nile mirrors the action. “Quynh called the things you see death’s helpers. They don’t directly kill people, they just set death into motion,” he pauses until Nile’s looking at him again, “Nile, whenever you see one, get out, especially if you’re in a public place. They know when they’re spotted and they know we’re special.”

Nile frowns, she has so many questions, she doesn’t even know where to begin. Why does she see them and they don’t? Is she in more danger because she can see them? Will those things attack her just because she can see them? 

Joe scans her face, “I can see you have a lot of questions and I do want to help, but I think you should ask Andy.” Ask Andy about her lost lover? The one she still feels extremely guilty about? Maybe Joe did eat crack for breakfast. “I know but she’s known Quynh the longest, she has the most information on this. I only know the bare minimum, Quynh didn’t like talking about it and I didn’t like asking about it.” 

Nile already knows this future conversation is going to be a painful one. Andy clams-up tight when she wants to and no amount of prying or crying can get her to open up. 

“It’s alright, you at least answered the big question,” Nile says, and she wonders if this is going to be a theme. The what always being answered but the why remaining a mystery. “Thank you for filling me in.” 

“Yeah, and I’m sorry once again-“

 “Joe,” Nile interrupts with a shake of her head. “We’re moving past that.” 

“Right, of course.” Nile rolls her eyes, reaches out to ruffle his hair just like how her brother hated. Joe hates it too and she grins as he smacks her hand away, smoothing the curls back down. “Brat,” he mutters, it’s all reluctant fondness and the tension in his shoulders is gone, so Nile’s counting it as a win. 

They’re going to get there one day. 

[mytrashs-blog]

Movie Star- part 2!

Pairing: BFF! Tom Holland x Reader

Warnings: She’s a fluffy one... but also not straight away

Summary: You’re trying to save your friendship but the plan changes

Word Count: 3,071 words so buckle up

A/N: This is the last part I will be writing on this and that’s final, cause I had THE hardest time trying to write fluff... I’m an angst author, what can I say? I did love the final result of this, so I hope you enjoy! (Please if you do like it, reblog it so it can be read by more and more people).

Part one is here!!!, and here is my masterlist in case you want to read something else

(Gif isn’t mine, credits go to the owner!)

You’re sitting on the couch, two popcorn bowls sitting on the coffee table, because you like spicy sauce on yours and he finds soggy popcorn disgusting, there’s also two bottles one coke and one water, because you can’t stand fizzy drinks, but it’s his cheat day so he’ll take advantage. You’re both on the same couch, but you’re in your side, he’s in his, there’s two blankets and there’s no touching, not even accidentally, not even casually, none at all.

Frankly you’re even surprised you agreed to see him again after that one time you went out for coffee with him to come up with a peace treaty. It’s not that you don’t want things to go back to normal, it’s just that you don’t know what “normal” is for both of you anymore, you’re very sure there is no such thing after all the drama you went through a year ago. But you’re willing to try.

The movie has been going on for a while and you haven’t exchanged a word for the whole time, you intentionally decided to play a good movie so that you wouldn’t get the chance to start talking, so Pulp Fiction is playing, funny enough it’s your first time watching it and you’ve never been a big fan of Tarantino’s films, but you haven’t let Tom (your former best friend) see you yawning under your blanket. Thank Lord your thoughts drift away unitl the movie ends, but then you start getting anxious, you’ve been dreading this moment because you just know he’s gonna tell you something. And he does.

“What’s wrong? You didn’t say a word in like two hours and that’s not very you from you” he offers in an insecure manner, and that’s not very Tom from Tom.

“There’s… nothing wrong, Tom… I just don’t know what to say to you anymore. I don’t know who you are, we’ve been out of each other’s lives for a year. Last time we actually spent time together we destroyed our friendship. And then we attacked each other for the months that followed. We haven’t had a proper conversation in more than a year, A YEAR. And I’m not saying I don’t want us to be friends anymore, I just don’t know how to start.”

He stares at you for a few seconds, you can see he’s calculating his next dialogue, he really doesn’t want to fuck up the babies steps you’ve taken to fix things, and you don’t either so you wait for him.

“We…” he starts but soon stops again, thinking once more of an apropriate way to say things “We can’t really go back to the way things were before, because we were doing a lot of things wrong to begin with. I don’t want to have what we had before… I want to start fresh. You don’t know the new me and I don’t know the new you. So let’s get to know each other.”

That was the corniest speech you’ve ever heard. If you weren’t so moved by it, you’d be laughing at his face, but instead of doing that, you tried to follow along with the corny theme, so you reached your hand out for him to strech it and said “Hi, my name’s (Y/N), nice to meet you”.

He did chuckle at that but he took your hand regardless, offering one of those relaxed smiles you haven’t seen in over a year “I’m Tom, nice to meet you too”.

You kept hanging out a lot more often since that day, things were picking up a nice pace and you were getting more and more comfortable around him everyday. Sure, things changed, but they changed for the better. He made sure to take you to a lot of the fun things he did sometimes and you even invited him to the recital of the dance academy where you teach, which was a mistake because he had to smile and take pictures all afternoon with little girls and a bunch of moms… and the ocassional dad who actually cared about his role on spider-man and not only his beautiful biceps. Not that you were paying attention to the fact that he was getting buff again to reprise his role, no, he’s your friend, you don’t look at those things. You noticed because the moms noticed.

It was nice to fall back into your habit of late night phone calls to tell each other the latest gossip around your lives, you also missed sending him the most random, wackyest gifs at the most inconvenient of times and you missed him offering to drive you to places, maybe even go buy your groceries together.

Soon enough the press found out you were hanging out again and you were not safe from paparazzi for a solid amount of two weeks until it stopped being interesting, but of course half of the stories were written along the lines of “From bff to enemies to lovers? Is Tom Holland dating long time bestie (Y/N)?” and just like you did all those years ago when he was just becoming Hollywood’s newest hearthrobe you got together to laugh about what the tabloids were writing.

There was only one problem. You kinda were catching feelings.

It’s just that he had changed so much. He wasn’t mean aymore, to anyone and it’s not even that he went back to being the nice guy he was before the fame, he was even better, because he had matured so much and he knew just how much he meant to the people around him, so he made sure to let them know how grateful he was of having them around and it was so nice to see him become such a well rounded man. Regardless of all that, you know that it is a very stupid idea to come up like “Yo, I have a big fat crush on you” right now, because… you just got back to being friends! so you resolve to keep your mouth shut and your feelings at bay.

This one day Tom texted you asking if you wanna grab a bite, he’s at a table reading nearby so you accept and you get sushi because you’re basic like that, but he’s acting all weird today. He’s been staring at you for a little too long now and his gaze has been falling to your lips a few times now, which would be less weird if you weren’t currently stuffing your face with a salmon sushi roll.

You’ve been trying to get him to be less weird, asking about the script, his cast mates and all, but he’s just not cooperating and just keeps doing this thing that he does when he’s nervous where he justs sits there all stiff and plays with whatever he has in his hands, which right now it’s chopsticks and that makes it way too annoying, because it makes a lot of noise, so you decide enough is enough and just go straight against him. “Thomas “some middle name that you hate me calling you” Holland, what on earth is going on with you today?”

He abruptly stops with the chopsticks and you’re so grateful for a second, but then his attention shifts to his watch and it’s pressing your buttons pretty terribly, but then he decides he can actually talk. “Sorry uh… I’ve just been thinking… about… life?”

“What the hell do you mean? And don’t give me any bullshit answer cause you know I’ll know.”

You see him get visibly flustered, but he takes a deep breath to talk, “I’m just… I have been thinking…”

“Oh really? first time I take it” you laugh to lighten the mood that suddenly got terribly heavy.

“Oh, shut up… No, but really. It’s just that we’ve come such a long way, not only recently but overall in the course of the, what? 17 years? that we’ve known each other, you know? and I have been thinking that these past months our relationship has changed so much…”

Is he…?

“And I just think that we’re at a place where we could just try…”

Shit, he is.

“To go somewhere new, you know?”

Holy fuck… he most definetely is!

He falls silent and is looking at you waiting for your reaction, but you’re so shocked that you just haven’t even thought about what you’re going to say to him!

“When you say ‘somewhere new’ what does that mean?” you go for a question, just to get things clear as water before totally reacting.

“I just mean that.. I’ve realized just how much I like you, for real. No safety net here. I want to be with you and I can’t go for another 17 years pretending that I don’t”

For all you know you might just have choked on your sushi, but you haven’t so you decide to swallow whatever is still in your mouth and it’s hard, but mainly because air has just left your lungs. “I… don’t know, I mean… I can’t deny that I have felt that way, but I’m scared. Like what if it doesn’t work out? It’s been hard enough to go back to being friends after a ‘friend break up’ imagine if it was a real, real break up? Would we be able to recover?”

“I know. I’m aware that this is not a simple thing to do, I don’t expect you to just say yes and jump right into my arms. That’s just not your style. Do you want to maybe sleep on it?”

And you do. It’s the worst night of your life though. You’re restless all night, just can’t get your brain to shut up. How are you supposed to “sleep on it” if there is no sleep involved? You roll on you side for what feels like the millionth time and you see the time… it’s almost three in the morning and you haven’t been able to even blink. It’s just… You want to be with Tom so bad, you do! But you also know that you’ve never been good at relationships, they just never last, and then there’s the fact that you have extreme trust issues because almost every guy you’ve ever been with has cheated on you, and you don’t want be paranoid and crazy around Tom, but you just know at some point you won’t be able to hold it in. And for fucks sake! He’s an actor! He will have to kiss other girls for work and… you just don’t want to even think about it… but also, those girls are waaaay prettier than you are.

But on the good side, no one knows Tom like you do, he has never cheated on any girl ever, he’s a real gentleman, and you already have your fingerprint stored in his phone and you do know all his social media passwords which he doesn’t even know how to use so there’s no way he notices the thousands of girls sliding into his dm’s, you also have already met all his friends and family so you can skip all that awkward part of new relationships. How weird would it be to kiss Tom?

He does have very nice lips and he’s constantly using chapstick so they must be very soft, and you’ve seen him kissing actresses before and they’ve never complained about him being a bad kisser, and it’s not like you never thought about that. To be completely honest you’ve imagined how it would be to do way more than just kissing your best friend, which is normal… right? everyone fantazises about their best friend at least once in their life. Difference being that you spent about seven years doing so, if not more.

So if you’ve been in love with him for so long now, and you were able to forgive him for being an asshole and then he changed for the better after thinking he’d lose you then why not give it a shot? It can’t go wrong. You’ve already proved you’d rather die than not have each other in your lives, so even if it’s doesn’t work as a romantic thing you may still be able to save your friendship, right?

You were finally able to fall asleep at 4 a.m. and unsurprisingly, you did dream about you and Tom during your normal movie night, only you’re all curled up on each other, one of his hands is soothingly running through your hair and the other one is on your waist but slipping dangerously low, he ocassionally places a kiss on top of your head and you just feel extremely relaxed, it’s such a bliss of a dream, but then you wake up.

You want to text him the second you wake up, but you still want to keep thinking about it, just because you don’t want to say yes based on a really nice and domestic dream you had, so you make yourself a really nice breakfast and head to work which involves chill dancing around all day, and dance was always a nice way to analize things, at least to you. Also, not thinking is the perfect way of deciding wether you want something or not. By the time you’re done for the day, you’re ready to text Tom.

You ask him to meet you at yours as soon as he has some free time, and around an hour later, the doorbell rings and it’s him. God, you haven’t been this nervous over a guy since middle school, it is borderline ridiculous, but you gotta keep it together. It’s just Tom. Tommy, the guy that wears Hello Kitty pajamas and ties his hair in tiny pony tails when it starts getting too long, he’s the same guy that will regularly asks you how to spell “though” correctly. Just Tom.

You open the door and he looks just as nervous as you are, but you let him in and, as if he’s never been here before, he just stands there by the front door until you ask him to go to the living room. He plays with his hands and tries to clean off the sweat that he probably has all over his hands in his trousers, and you do the same. Just to be safe.

You’re sitting on oposite ends of the room, both of you visibly giddy and jumpy, but you’re so silent that a needle falling would be audible in the whole room. So you try to speak.

“H-how was your day, Tom? Everything okay?”

“Yeah… all normal, pretty chill. You?”

“Normal, just the regular.”

And you fell back into silence for a bit over a minute that felt like years. Unitl you decided you needed to speak again.

“So.. about the thing you told me yesterday…”

“Yes, tell me. Did you think about it?”

“Yeah, I did. You know, we’ve been through a lot together and you know that. I am extremely afraid of losing you forever and I need to tell you that being in good terms with you is my number one priority.”

Tom’s face stays serious as he listens to you, his hands are clasped together to avoid fidgeting, but he hasn’t noticed that his leg is rapidly bouncing up and down to compensate  on that field.

“But even with all that I just keep thinking that it just makes sense, you know? You and me together.”

He looks up at you and his eyes are glowing with hope.

“I… have been in love with you for such a long time and I feel like the longer that time goes by, the harder it is to bear it. So I want to jump in full force. Who cares if it doesn’t work?”

He smiles bright now, he even tries to bite his lip to contain it from looking so absurdly stupid, but he doesn’t. He looks just as excited and ready to do this as you do.

“We’ve already been through the worst case scenario and we managed to salvage and make it even better, so I think that even if this doesn’t end up being a bad idea… we’ll be able to stay together anyway.”

And the room falls back into silence, but this one it not overwhelming, the atmosphere feels a lot more hopeful and excited. Tom is just looking at you with a smile on his face and you are looking straight back, feeling anxious about the uncertainty of what is supossed to happen now.

At that moment, Tom stands up and walks towards you, never breaking the eye contact. He extends his hand for you to take it and stand up, so now you’re facing each other, mere inches away, you’re so close you can see the little freckles that decorate the bridge of his nose, and looking in his eyes you can see that he has tiny speckles of darker brown around in his irises.

“I’m gonna kiss you now, is that okay?” he tells you, voice barely audible, you doubt anyone else would’ve been able to hear it, but that makes it so indulgently intimate, so insead of nodding, you decide to say yes in an equally low volume even though you’re the only two people in the house, you want this moment to be yours and for it to stay only in your own tiny bubble.

He smiles before slowly leaning in, time goes painfully slow, but you’re almost unbothered about that, you want to cherish the moment as much as you can. He stops when his lips are barely brushing yours, so you take that last step and lean to seal the remaining space between you two.

You had been holding hands until now that his hands want to move to your waist, but you need something to keep you leveled, cause everything is spining so you place yours on his forearms. Kissing Tom made you feel so stupid. Why did it take you so long to do this? This is clearly where you had to be all this time. His lips feel like coming back home after a long and miserable day, he feels like home. This moment feels like putting in the finishing piece in the puzzle and feeling like all that you went through was worth it, because it gave you this. and that is all that matters.

...

Tagging some people to avoid the flop: @caeruleum-in-caritate-lupus, @softstarkk, @peterparkerbabyy, @dottirose, @legit-fandom-trash, @carostar2020, @appreciating-chase-brody, @mvmakki @madmadmilk @hollandrecs @starksparker @sunshinehollandd, @thatswhaticallfanfiction​, @rachaeldonnaspiteri1​, @writing-appreciation​, @allieandcoffee​, @ladythena​, 

[eternalstann]

Celebrity (pt. 2)

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Warnings: mild drug use, swearing & tingz

Summary: You and Tom just so happen to be each other’s celebrity crushes :)

part 1 here!

“Thank god you said yes, I don’t know what I would’ve done if you said no” his comment makes you laugh. “Of course I said yes Tom” you tell him. There was no hiding the grin on your face.

“Y/N!” You hear a voice call to you, and you spin around to see who it is. “Michael!” You shout, reaching to hug him. “Where have you been hiding, I haven’t seen you all day!?” You ask and he smiles, “I had to go pick up something for you” he tells you before handing you a box. “Awww, Mike you really shouldn’t have” you coo before opening it. The wrapping paper reveals a Tiffany box and inside, a diamond necklace. “Oh my god. It’s gorgeous, thank you so much” you hug him again. “You’re welcome love, I’ll let you get back to your party - we still on for Tuesday?” He asks and you nod. “Wait though, meet Tom! Tom Holland, this is Michael B Jordan and vice versa” you giggle with a grand hand gesture.

Michael rolls his eyes, “Y/N we know each other, we’re Marvel Brothers remember? What’s up man!” Michael daps up Tom and they share a quick exchange before Mike goes off to get a drink. When you turn towards Tom he has a funny look on his face. “Is everything okay?” He says yes, but on the inside he can’t believe how incredibly jealous he was at what had just happened, you just said yes to a date with him; but were you and Michael a thing? This couldn’t be healthy for him to feel like this. He and Michael had always been cool but he felt like punching him right now.

“Come upstairs with me” you grab his hand before dragging him up the spiral staircase. His mood shifted instantly, upstairs? His heart was racing. It’s the second door on the left he notes, watching you twist the knob to a white wooden door that opens up to a beautiful and spacious bedroom. It fit you, he thought. White carpet throughout, a giant bed that looked super comfortable, with more than enough pillows. He noticed your closet was open. It was messy, but not too bad. A dresser covered with lotions and perfumes - he wondered which scent was your favorite. Your mirror had pictures tucked in the corners.

“You can sit down!” Your voice called out to him and you’re pointing towards your bed when he glances up. He does as you say and sits. Even more comfy then he imagined. He’s still scanning your room. He wants to learn you, to know everything he can about you. His eyes go to your bathroom. The door is shut, but there’s a silky pink robe hanging on it and suddenly he can’t help but wonder what you’d look like in it with nothing underneath.

“I’m sorry, I just wanted to put this away” you speak softly, placing the box on your dresser. “And...I wanted to talk to you, alone” you walk towards Tom and sit down besides him. “You can go back to party if you want though, I don’t want to hold you hostage!” You exclaim and he shakes his head. “No, no; I want to stay here with you” he places his hand on your exposed thigh. “Okay good” you whisper. “Oh and Michael and I are just friends, I tell him all the time to stop buying me things but he never listens” you explain, and Tom exhales a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“So Spiderman, how’s shooting for your new movie? You just don’t stop!” You giggle scooching back in your bed and crossing your legs. “It’s dope, I mean I’m working with The Russos again...except this time I’m on heroin” he shrugs and you laugh. That’s how you spend the next hour with him. Laughing and talking. You were so attracted to this man it wasn’t funny. His leg pressed against yours, shoulders brushing together. It was different now that you were alone. You wanted to tell him to lay back so you could ride him into the sunset...but you didn’t know if he was there yet.

“Y/N!!!” You hear a voice call from outside your door before it’s pushed open. “Where are you, it’s lit downstairs bitch!” Bella slurs, and Zendaya pops up behind her. “She’s fucked up - oh shit hey Tom! I didn’t even know you were here” she laughs. “I thought they were having sex up here, guess not...you guys are boring” she speaks again. “Now come downstairs and party!” She yells. You roll your eyes, before turning to Tom. “Let’s go I guess”

You walk downstairs and the party is in full swing. “Ayyyyeee!” You hear people cheer when they see you coming down the stairs and you dance to get them more hyped with a smile on your face. When you get to the bottom Jacob and Harry are waiting for you. “Yo look what fucking Travis Scott just gave us” holding up a bag of weed. “Y’all smoke?” You ask with a questioning smirk on your face. “We do, Tom doesn’t” chuckles Harry. “I do today” Tom shrugs and your eye brows go up. “I can’t believe I’m taking Tom Holland’s weed virginity” you squeal, taking his hand and leading everyone to your patio. “Oh I have to see this” Zendaya chimes in and coming along too.

The six of you sit out under the gazebo in your backyard. “I have a lighter” says Bella tossing it to you. “I guess this means I have a have to roll” you sigh open up a pack of backwoods. “Backwoods are kind of hard to roll, I’ll teach you sometime but with something easier” you smile at Tom. “I hate rolling with nails” you groan but do it anyways. You roll up three packed blunts - that should be enough for the five of you, since Zendaya doesn’t smoke. “I call first hit” Jacobs yells reaching for the blunt. “Fuck no, I rolled it so I spark it” you exclaim before using the lighter. “Okay Tom, you want to inhale the smoke - but don’t go crazy it’s your first time” you say before taking your first puff. You nod your head, “Travis always has good shit”

You take another pull before passing to Tom. He stared at it for a few seconds before Harry loses patience - “just hit it mate!” And you all laugh. “Okay, okay!” He exclaims before going for it. He begins coughing immediately and earns another round of laughing. “How the fuck...” Tom chokes out before handing the blunt to Jacob. Jacob takes a pull with ease. “Fucking stoner” Zendaya shakes her head.

After about ten minutes, you were about to light up the second blunt when you stop. “Wait guys I have to say something-“ you put your hand up. “Oh my god, here we go” Zendaya giggles. “I just wanna say- B and Daya, youre my best friends and I love you guys so much. I just wanted to make sure you know how I appreciate you”

“Awww sis I love you more!” Bella yells wrapping her around you. “And you three!” You motion towards Tom, Harry and Jacob “-you better not be fake and not hit me up after this cause I think y’all are cool as hell” you say and they nod with lazy grins. “And lastly...I’m high as fuck” “Me too” everyone choruses. “I like being high” Tom says thoughtfully. “Let me get you high again sometime” you whisper and he shudders.

You glance inside and see all the people in your house. You always loved throwing parties but now? You wished it could just be you and Tom. “Y/N you’re being a horrible hostess to all your other guests” Zendaya quips. “Ughh you’re right” you moan before standing. “I’ll see you guys in a little bit” you wave before walking away. “Z you just had to say something!” He complains slapping her arm lightly. “You like herrrr” she sing-songs.

“Yeah I do”

——————————————-

so I decided to make it series!! here’s part two ❤️ I hope you like it, lmk if there’s anything you wanna see.

Love you all!

[pretending-ican-write]

Surprises

Being the wife of a mob boss does come with its own waters to tread through carefully and sometimes it’s hard not to drown.  You regularly had to do damage control for the Holland boys as they sometimes went a bit too far with their interrogations and Haz was usually the only one who can help you calm them down.  That was the case today.  

Harry, the sensible one of the brothers, had called you whilst you were still in the comfort of your bed in Kensington and demanded that you get down to Elementary as fast as possible.  You’d told him that you could be there within the next couple of hours.  Being summoned to the bar in that manner could mean only one thing; Tom was very close to causing the family a massive problem.  And that meant you needed to go in there looking like you owned the place (which, side note, you did) and that took time.  So you steeled yourself before scanning your wardrobe to decide on an appropriate outfit.

--

Elementary was dead- after all, it was only 10 am- so you strode through the empty bar to the back room where the real shit went down.  Harry and Sam were stood outside the door, usually a bad sign because that meant Haz was the only one stopping Tom from killing somebody.

“On a scale from 1 to 10, how bad is it?” You asked cautiously.

Sam sighed, “at least a 20.”

“Wish me luck then boys,” you patted him on the shoulder and handed him your bag before opening the door to the meeting room.

You strode in there to find a scene that was not unfamiliar.  Tom stood against the far wall, suit jacket over the chair, his waistcoat unbuttoned, tie loosened and he’d clearly been running his hands through his hair looking at the state of it.  Haz sat at the table, looking bored by the whole situation, as he often did.  Then across, at the other end of the table, was some lad who looked worse for wear.  At a guess, he was probably someone who had been selling for them and tried to take stock or money for himself.

“What seems to be the problem boys?” You greeted, throwing your leather jacket over one of the chairs and laying your sunglasses on the table.

Haz looked up from the papers on the table, “Harry made his usual call then?”

“Good morning darling,” Tom smiled, “this idiot here thought he might just skim a little extra off the top of his usual takings.”

You nodded, “what’s he dealing?”

“The usual.  Weed, a bit of molly,” he answered.

You smiled, “and how much was he making?  And skimming?”

“Anywhere from a couple of hundred a day on the right week,” Haz answered, “he was meant to take 10% of it all but when Sam’s added it all up- more than 20% of the takings have gone.”

You looked calmly at him, “how old are you?”

“I ain’t no fucking child for you to question,” he spat, “I’m older than you.”

You smirked, “I’m sure you are mate but that doesn’t answer the question.  Now I suggest you do because I can only stop him for so long.”

“I’m 26.  Does that answer your question you demanding bitch?” He snapped.

Haz let out a low whistle, “you just made a massive mistake there.”

“Okay you listen to me,” you leant across the table to stare at him, “you do not speak down to those who have control over you.  You do not steal from those who ensure your family is cared for.  And most importantly, you do not disrespect me.  Because you might think that I’m just some girl with a ring on my finger for the title that comes with it but you would be seriously fucking mistaken.  You might think that all I do is stand at that bar and serve drinks but I know every inner working of this organisation.  

So, because I’m feeling nice and I know you have a little girl waiting for you somewhere, I’m going to let you leave this bar with your life but you are not on our payroll anymore.  You walk out that fucking door and you no longer have any association with the Holland name.  But rest assured, if you try to fuck us over again, your daughter will not have a father to care for her.  And believe me, that is not something I would ever want to do.  But if you fuck with my family again, I will have to fuck with yours.”

You pushed yourself back off the table and crossed your arms, eyeing the door expectantly.  He took his cue and hurried out the door. 

“One of these days you are going to get yourself in some shit that I will not be able to fix for you and it won’t just be some dealers stealing your money,” you snapped before storming out of the room.

Harry tried to stop you as you left the room but you just grabbed your bag from him before continuing out of the bar.  Once on the streets of Chelsea and far enough away from Elementary that the Holland boys wouldn’t come to get you, you collapsed against the building.   You loved Tom, you really did, and you had since you were 16.  5 years ago when you fell in love with the mobster’s son at college you knew what this life entailed but sometimes it was hard to be the one that always had to pick up the pieces.  Sometimes you wished life wasn’t this complicated, and you hate yourself for it, but he already had enough blood on his hands and you would like to be able to reduce any new blood as much as possible.

After a few minutes, you steeled yourself to go back to the bar to start getting it ready to open.

--

You strode back into Elementary where a few of the waitresses had turned up to start cleaning the bar ready for the evening to begin.  Usually, you’d spend a few minutes chatting to the staff to see how they’d been since seeing them last but today you really weren’t in the mood so you headed straight to the back room.  Unsurprisingly the room was empty and there was no sign of that morning’s business.  You threw your bag at the table, ignoring the fact that everything clattered out of it.  Most days were stressful and you’d done the same thing a thousand times but for some reason today it was too much.  You paced up and down the room, the Louboutins clicking against the hardwood floor.  

“Y/N you’ve had Tom going apeshit since you left this morning,” snapped Haz as he strode into the room.

You glared at him, “he pulls this shit all the fucking time.  He needs to keep himself in control otherwise Dom will hand it over to the twins.”

“You’ve known this is what life was gonna be like for the past 5 years Y/N/N,” he pointed out.

You sighed, “I signed up for the mob shit but not him losing it over the smallest things.  He never used to be this bad Haz.”

“Then maybe you should talk to him.  Give him a chance to explain himself,” Haz opened the door to the room showing your husband.

Tom smiled sheepishly, “hello love.”

“You can go Has,” you nodded to him, “if you wouldn’t mind helping the girls set up that would be greatly appreciated.”

He left you facing your husband, “so…”

“This has to stop Tommy.  I know what comes with running this business but you’ve been a bit out of control,” you began, “I need you to stop all this.  Let the boys deal with the messier side of things please.”

Tom strode towards you and took your hands in his, “darling anything you want but this seems all a bit sudden.  What’s brought this on?”

“I’m going to need you to promise you’ll be around a bit more and that you’ll keep us safe,” you whispered.

He nodded, “I’ll always protect y-... did you say us?” 

You smiled and brought his hands to your stomach, “if you want it that is of course.”

Tom rolled his eyes fondly, “of course I would want us to have a child,” he reached to stroke your cheek, “and I promise darling that will hand more over to Harry and Sam.”

You wrapped your arms around his neck, “maybe we could finally get that farmhouse too.”

“One step at a time darling,” he responded, capturing your lips with his.

[yoonjinkooked]

Daddy Day Care  |  Chapter 1

pairing; jungkook/female OC genre; fluff, romcom, smutty in the future, Dad!Jungkook rating; explicit (IN FUTURE CHAPTERS ONLY, not yet) words; total so far (4752)

— synopsis; Jeongguk is your average 25-year-old - job, work, friends - everything regular. Except, he has a 5 year old daughter. And he’s single. Until a “princess” waltzes into his life.

warnings for this chapter: You will want to have Jungkook’s children. Eunmi is adorkable. SlutJin. Banter. Cursing. Oh and I borrowed two Mamamoo members for this story too. 

CHAPTER 1

words; 3503

“Your hair looks weird, dad.”

I open my eyes, only to find Eunmi just a few inches away from me, eyes glued to the top of my head. Her cheeks are puffy, telling me she woke up minutes ago. Of course she did – she can’t sit still for minutes. I look behind her, at the clock and sigh, confirming my suspicions.

“It’s 6:30AM Eunmi. Why?” I grunt.

“I was bored,” she shrugs. “Your hair really looks weird, dad. Can we have bacon for breakfast?”

“Breakfast can wait a little bit,” I reach for her and snuggle her on top of me. “Now you’re gonna cuddle with dad for a while.”

“You just want to sleep more, not cuddle,” she laughs at me.

“No,” I laugh, squishing her closer to my chest. “But I always want to cuddle with my little girl.”

“No, you just want to sleep.”

“You’re five, you shouldn’t be this smart.”

“That’s your and mom’s fault,” I can feel her shrugging her tiny shoulders. “Are we going to see Uncle Jin today? Will he come over?”

“I’m pretty sure Uncle Jin is busy today honey, it’s a Sunday,” I sigh, knowing damn well that Jin is most definitely recovering from the night before. Almost six years ago, around the time when I found out that Eunmi was on her way into my world, I have accepted that Jin and I have changed our roles completely.

I’m the younger brother – I should be the one partying and fucking random girls while Jin should be the one who’s spending his nights looking up Youtube tutorials on how to make different kinds of braids, because he was working like an idiot all day to be able to pay for pre-school.

“Uncle Jin is never busy enough for me,” Eunmi concludes and honestly, she isn’t wrong. At this point in Jin’s life, Eunmi might just be the only other female apart from our mom that Jin actually cares for. Much like every adult in her near vicinity, she has him wrapped around her tiny pinky.

“You’re really not gonna let me sleep, are you?” I ask, ruffling her hair a little bit.

“Nope,” she announces. “I love you.”

“I love you too honey,” I laugh, already accepting that I’m really going to have to get up at 6:30. “So what is it that you wanna eat? Bacon? And what else?”

“Just bacon is good.”

She resembles me too much.

With a grunt, I get up and let her drag me to the kitchen. It took her less time to eat the bacon than it took me to prepare it. I smile as I focus on the cup in my hands, watching her run over to the living room and plant herself in front of the TV.

Cartoons and coffee can save any dad’s life. I get to have my caffeine medicine while Eunmi’s eyes are glued to the screen, watching a cartoon she’s probably already seen 10 times before.

I remember I used to be like that too. It didn’t matter how many times I’ve watched it – I would always laugh at the same scenes, same jokes. I don’t think that’s a trait special to me and her – I’m pretty sure every other five year old acts the same. But I only have one attached by the hip, thank god.

Cartoon time also is a good time for parent conversations – the kid is too focused on an animated cat to listen to grown up stuff. Which is exactly why my phone rang at the perfect moment.

“Morning,” I answer the call, pausing to drink my coffee. “Everything okay?”

“Yep,” she answers, and I can her she’s running around, doing something around her house. “Did you pick Eunmi up from the birthday party?”

“No, I left her there,” I deadpan. “See, I knew I was missing something but like always, sleep was simply more important.”

“Not funny, jackass,” she still laughs. “Did Jinyoung’s mom bug you again?”

“Why did I even tell you about that?” I sigh, regretting it again, for the hundredth time. More often than not, I say things without thinking and again, more often than not, I end up regretting it greatly.

“Because you were too scared to pick Eunmi up from a play date and you asked me to do it,” she laughs at me. “But seriously, if that woman keeps bugging you, you need to do something about it.”

“I sent in Namjoon to pick her up along with Jiyoo while I waited outside,” I admit.

“How very grown up and mature of you Jungkook.”

“I’d like to see you if Jinyoung’s dad offered to-“

“Okay, okay, enough,” she laughs. “Did she have fun?”

“I spent 30 minutes trying to get the face paint off of her face, you tell me,” I sigh, remembering that I have to wash half of the bathroom today before it remains colored.

“Yep, I know enough. I was going to ask you something. Can you take care of her for the next for days straight? I’ll be in Taiwan until Wednesday, my boss called me last night, he needs a translator and the bastard is too cheap to pay for one, so he just assumes I’d volunteer to do it. If you can’t do it, I’ll drop her off at mom and dad’s.”

“No, it’s okay,” I tell her, mentally going over my plans for this week. “I don’t have anything other than work this week so it’s okay.”

“Are you sure?” she checks.

“Yuki, she’s my kid too,” I laugh. “Not a plant that’s a nuisance to water.”

“I know but we planned it differently and I don’t want to be unfair,” she sighs.

“Yuki, don’t worry about it, okay?” I interrupt her, not wanting her to feel bad about this. “We have joint custody for a reason. It’s not the first time we’ve changed plans. If I couldn’t do it, I’d tell you.”

“Thanks,” she sighs in relief. “It’s just so annoying. I’m still trying to find a better company.”

“I know you are,” I mumble. “But don’t worry about it. We could co-parent for five years without any major issues. So just relax, do your trip and you can pick her up when you come back.”

“Can I talk to her? What’s she’s doing?”

“Well, I’m not sure – Tom and Jerry might be more interesting than you are, but I’ll check,” I can hear her cursing me. “Eunmi, come on, Mom wants to talk to you.”

Of course, she runs and drops the cartoon instantly. I laugh at her as she starts talking about everything that she wants us to do while Mom is away on a business trip. It might be bitter-sweet for Yuki to listen to, since she’ll be stuck in business meetings for four whole days, but what can she do?

As long as Eunmi doesn’t suffer, I’m okay with everything. She wasn’t even a year old when Yuki and I called it quits, so she can’t remember – if she can’t remember, she can’t miss it. Despite that, both Yuki and I have been bending over backwards to try and compensate for the fact that she’s growing up with separated parents.

That’s what I admire about Yuki. Our love died a very long time ago, but not once did she let it stop her from being a good mom and just a decent human being. If I was the only one being like that, I don’t even want to imagine how that would feel like.

There are horrible parents left and right. Dads that don’t care about their kids, don’t pay alimony, don’t spend enough time with them. Moms that don’t let dads see their kids, moms more focused on themselves and not their kid. I’ve seen a lot of that from the nuts parents I sometimes have to socialize with – the only normal group are Namjoon and Yoongi hyung and their wives. And while Yuki and I are not exactly the ideal example, we’re doing a damn good job.

Both of us managed to graduate while having a baby and not being together. Both of us have decent jobs. Both of us can put differences aside and work together for our little girl.

Would it be easier if we were together? Surely. But love died. We weren’t for each other and we were absolutely not ready for being parents. But we managed. Somehow, we managed. Maybe our relationship was the price we paid for that but hell, I’d pay it again.

As long as Eunmi doesn’t suffer in any way, I’m good.

“And then we’re going to watch ‘Frozen’,” Eunmi rolls her eyes. “Yes, again. Okay. Okay. I love you too mom. Here’s dad,” she gives me the phone back, not pausing for a second before running off to the TV.

“All good?” I ask Yuki.

“Yeah, I’m just gonna miss her,” she sighs.

“It’s four days, not four years. You’ll live.”

“You cried the first time I took her with me after a weekend with you,” Yuki points out.

“We do not talk about that,” I remind her.

“You’re a pain in the ass but you’re one hell of a dad,” she chuckles. “Take care of her, call me if you need anything and don’t forget to give her vitamins. Two in-“

“In the morning,” I laugh. “Again, I’m her father, not her babysitter. Relax, deep breaths and have a safe trip. You can call whenever, facetime her.”

“Thanks Kook, I’ll call you guys tonight.”

“Talk to you then,” I end the call, finishing the rest of my coffee in one gulp. “Come on Eunmi, we need to get you dressed,” I announce.

“Where are we going?” her tiny little face lights up. No wonder, the kid is a firecracker. A type of kid that likes pirates more than princesses, but still asks to watch Frozen. A kid that will try to climb a tree but then run to me in tears if she scrapes her knee. She loves an adventure but often regrets it.

“We’re going to wake Uncle Jin up,” I laugh when I see how big her smile became. She loves Uncle Jin just as much as she loves me, if not more. “He might be hungover, but Uncle duties are calling him.”

“Okay,” she grabs my hand and I take her to her room, to find some clothes for today. “Dad?”

“Hmm?”

“What does hungover mean?”

Shit.

                                                             ...

I check once again, leaning over to look at her sleepy face. Sure enough, her lips are parted as she snuggles into the pillow that’s almost as big as her.

Slowly, I close the door, careful not to rouse her awake – if she doesn’t get her afternoon nap, Eunmi gets cranky. Uber cranky. Super, mega, ultra uber cranky. She’s a true angel for 95% of the time but the 5%? Good lord have mercy on my soul.

So yeah, she needs to nap and we need to be quiet.

“She’s out,” I tell Seokjin in a low voice as I join him back in the living room, laughing when I see him looking as if he’s going to fall asleep at any given second. He is one step away from turning into that Tom&Jerry gif where the cat is putting toothpicks between his eyelids to keep his eyes open. “Your night was rougher than usual, I see?”

“Yes indeed,” he grunts as he sinks deeper down the couch. “I had to do my strut of shame halfway from across the town.”

“Why didn’t you just sleep over?” I ask as I make a place for myself on the armchair, also known as the most uncomfortable armchair in the history of mankind. Jin has a thing for fancy, modern furniture, which means that every surface in his apartment is sharp and black, including said armchair.

“Because I’ve found out a bit too late that she has a boyfriend.”

“Ouch.”

“Not really,” he shrugs. “She’s the one who cheated, not me. I didn’t know. I just didn’t want to stick around and get my ass kicked because she’s a cheater.”

“How long do you think you’ll be able to keep up with this, huh?” I ask, out of pure curiosity. I have no right to judge him but I have the right to try to understand. “You’re 28 and you can’t settle down.”

“Why should I?” he asks, and honestly, his question is as good as mine.

“I’m just wondering how you’re not tired of that?” I shrug. “I mean, your life is always the same. It’s been the same for years. Random girls every weekend. I get that it can be fun every now and then but all the time? Don’t you just get tired of it?”

“I do get tired. And when I get tired, I don’t go out,” he shrugs his shoulders, closing his eyes and sighing as he makes himself more comfortable on the couch. “Settling down isn’t always ideal. Look at you.”

“What’s wrong with me?” I ask and judging by the snort Jin lets out, a lot of things are wrong with me. “Say what you want to say about my life but Eunmi is the best possible thing that could have happened to me.”

“I never said anything about Eunmi,” Jin sits up suddenly, glaring at me. “That little girl is the best thing that happened to me and she’s only my niece. Plus she’s way cooler than you are.”

“She’s five,” I roll my eyes. “And if you didn’t refer to her, what did you refer to?”

“Settling down didn’t really work out for you, did it?” he lets a chuckle. “You have the sweetest kid on the entire planet and you’re a good dad – but what about you? You had Yuki and you wanted to settle down, now you’ve been single for 4 years. Your amazing dad skills have absolutely nothing to do with your inability to get your dick wet.”

“Okay, you’re exaggerating,” I deadpan. “I did go on a few dates and I did have sex with-“

“It was two years ago!” he yells at me and I shush him, not wanting him to wake Eunmi up. He rolls his eyes but when he continues talking, his voice is lowered. “It was two years ago Kookie.  I get it, I really do. Eunmi has been your priority since day one, as she should be. But you’re 25 years old Jungkook. 25. You should have a life. I get that co-parenting with an ex isn’t easy and I know you have better things to do most of the time, but when will you ever think about yourself? What are you gonna do, be alone until Eunmi goes to college?”

“If that’s what happens, I’m okay with it,” I confirm it, causing Jin to shake his head in what appears to be disappointment. “It’s just not happening Jin. It’s not happening. I don’t have time to go and meet people. I work and I get home and I’m tired and I do have hobbies. And whenever I have a day off, I am with my daughter because no matter what happens, she comes first. There’s no time to go out and date and be a regular 25-year-old because regular 25-year-olds don’t have daycare to pay for and a college fund to save for and tea parties to have on weekends with stuffed and fuzzy rabbits!”

“It’s that way because you want it to be that way.”

“No, it’s that way because it happened that way,” I tell him. “None of this was planned. We never planned on having Eunmi but when we got her, god, I was the happiest man alive. I never planned of doing this whole co-parenting shit – but it happened. I didn’t think I’d ever break it off with Yuki, especially not after we had a kid but it happened. It’s the way it is and I’m fine with it because no matter what I do in life, Eunmi will always be the best thing that ever happened to me.”

“I’m not saying that she isn’t,” Jin rolls his eyes. “I’m saying that every now and then, you need to remind yourself that you’re not just a dad, but also a guy. A regular guy.”

“I don’t have time to be a regular guy!”

“Then make it!” Jin all but yells at me again, earning another glare. “This Friday. Yuki will be back from the trip, she’ll want to be with Eunmi, you don’t work weekends. You have no excuse. This weekend, you and I are going out, you’re going to get laid and come Saturday morning, back to being a Dad you go.”

“Hyung-“

“Don’t hyung me,” Jin glares at me. “Or yes, hyung me. I’m you’re hyung and you will listen. You will go out and have fun and find a random girl and remember that you’re more than just a dad.”

I know that he has a point, I truly do. Just that when I say I don’t have time, I really don’t have time. Not the time, nor the energy and not even the opportunity to meet someone.

But he has me now. Eunmi will be with Yuki this weekend and I have no good excuse up my sleeve.

“Fine.”

                                                           …

 “But dad!”

I laugh at her whining – she even went the extra length and stomped her little foot on the ground.

We’re having a cranky morning, that’s for sure – when I did her hair, I thought she might just bite my hand off. She was sulky during the drive and now she doesn’t want to go to go into the kindergarten.

“Don’t but me,” I warn her, feeling fatherly pride when she doesn’t react in any way – I have zero authority in me so it’s nice to see that at least my five year old is buying it. “You have to go to kindergarten, sweetie. And I have to go to work. You know I’d much rather spend time with you but kindergarten is non-negotiable.”

“What does non-negotble mean?”

I do my best to hide my smile at her mispronunciation, not wanting to hurt her feelings. “It means you do what I say.”

“But dad!”

“But Eunmi!” I whine, laughing when her frown turns into a scolding one. “We’ll do something super fun when we get home. I promise. Now run along.”

“You’re very mean today but I still love you,” she announces before turning around and running into the building.

“I love you too!” I yell after her. I’m mean. Wow. I suppose I’d better get used to it, I’m pretty sure she’s going to hate me when she gets to her teens. The joy of parenthood no one warns you about.

“She isn’t feeling you today, is she?” I turn around, startled for a second, only to realize it’s Hyejin, waving at her daughter as she follows Eunmi into the school.

“Nope, she isn’t,” I laugh. “I honestly don’t know how you and Namjoon plan to handle two,” I chuckle, remembering how both of them told me that they’re planning on at least two.

“Ah, step by step my sweet, summer child,” she laughs as she gets on her tiptoes to ruffle my hair. “Leave your Saturday free, you’re coming over to our place. We’re celebrating me getting older yet again.”

“I still have to see if Eunmi will be with Yuki all weekend or if-“

“Bring her too,” Hyejin laughs. “The kids can have a sleepover while the few of us drink, eat and complain about anything and everything.”

“You sure? I have a lot to complain about.”

“We all do, my sweet summer child,” she does it again, ruffles my hair as if I’m an actual kid. Well, compared to her I just might be. They’re only a few years older than I am but she and Namjoon have their life under complete control. Control that I can only hope to have one day.

“Fine,” I agree, knowing that this outing won’t be as wild as whatever Jin has planned. “What should I bring you? Any special birthday wishes?”

“Nothing, anything,” she shrugs and walks away, before stopping suddenly after just two steps. “Just don’t get me anything with my age written on it. We’re not talking about that.”

“Deal,” I laugh and wave at her as I get into my car. 

I brace myself for the work day ahead. I brace myself for the afternoon of watching Frozen or something I have already seen 20 times before. I brace myself for Friday, despite knowing absolutely nothing can prepare me for Jin’s antics. And now I even have to brace myself for Saturday, when I’m expected to socialize with grown adults and act like I belong there.

I don’t. I might have a job, I might have a kid and yeah, my age is there but nope.

I just have no idea what I’m doing. I’m stuck in the permanent state of ‘winging it’.

What a life.