#when what i'd like to hear is more like
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went on a walk to the nearby park and ngl i think this can fix me
#i spent half of yesterday with this one girl to make her feel better#and today when i got upset after a lecture she just straight up said the same shit all those people keep saying#'but you will pass this. only the rest of us won't'#well i wish#of course i want to pass and will do my best to do that#but when i stressed over the exam hearing that of course me out of all of is won't have a problem with that is the last thing i wanna hear#it's the same thing all over again :c#1. of course you're gonna pass and then it's either#1a. i pass: oh of course. i told you you would. why were you even so stressed about it#1b. i fail: oh no what happened but you always had top scores#when what i'd like to hear is more like#1. shit's hard we're all gonna try and we'll see how it goes#and then either 'yay nice' or 'oh no fuck that exam and that guy'#because wine it's happens to them it's always the latter so why i can't have it the same way i hate it here#anyway#i left ny bag at home and went to the park#lowkey feeling bad because in wasting time and there's exam tomorrow#but it's really soul soothing being here#i might need to start doing it more often
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okay is she being actually immature or is it just a woman over 30 expressing a human experience you find to be immature.
like yeah. at certain ages... let shit go. im not defending the real immature shit. im not defending the karen you're picturing. i worked in retail i hate those people too. (once somebody got mad at me because she didn't like how our winter window decor was a snowman smoking a pipe. i wish i was joking).
but men at 57 will write books about how 17 year old girls are soooo sexy. they will invent worlds where women have to be naked for "armor reasons." they will write songs that treat women as objects. people rush to defend them. meanwhile a woman at 35 will be like "heartbreak is hard, actually" or "i feel betrayed by a friend" or "i am struggling with something emotionally." immediately people will say stuff like this woman is 35 by the way. by the way this woman is SO OLD to be experiencing this. BY THE WAY.
im 31, almost 32. the other day a poet was blasted online because at her "big age", she had written a poem about feeling unloved. top comment was "this woman is 29 by the way." this woman is too old to still be useful, by the way. she has to behave better . maybe if she was a good wife and mother she could stop existing loudly, and the story could continue on without her. this woman has served her purpose, by the way. she's so cringe, by the way. at 29 - so old! - she still hasn't figured out that her existence should be one of shame.
#what the fuck.#unfortunately by the time i'd switched accounts (from personal to my poetry one)#i couldn't find it :(#this is why u SEND URSELF THE POST. WHICH I KNOW TO DO BUT!!!#i was so mad i just was like “i'm about to tear this commenter in twain” and . lost da post#if u urself are the 29 and got recently flamed by instagram#i love u. come here. write with me. i was about to pick up a sword for u.#i mean a BIGASS sword.#like we all know im a wlw girlie but the way ppl will be like ''id NEVER write sad poetry about a MAN not LOVING me!!!"#..... wowwwww ur so cool. anyway. people often experience emotions regardless of what u consider cringe.#& if ur gonna shame straight/bi women for feeling a certain way. hope u never write about the#weird relationship between u and ur father. or feeling different from ur brother.#or how ur male best friend fucked u over. since it's SO CRINGE. to have ANY feelings caused by a MAN#like be so for real. beloved. nobody is fucking saying this when men do it.#''oh it's cringe to like a woman or feel heartbroken by her.''#controlling women's feelings and actions???? it's more likely than u think.#btw op is nonbinary do NOT be gender essential on this post i'll kill u with my teeth#edit: btw for the person who dm'd me ''when is it misogyny and when is it actually valid''#pretty easy. if a man had done it#would it be cringe? . like if a man sang a sad song about ''she broke my damn heart''?#if he said ''i want to have kids with her'' or something sexually explicit?? like would u even LIKE IT if a male poet had said it?#& if it's like. nah a 35 yr old man being upset about this is cringe too. yeah it's just cringe. that exists. we both know it does.#but .... often i see this ONLY about women. and i can't help but hear like. how back in middle school#we were fed the lie ''girls mature faster.'' ... why do i have to be emotionally regulated? but if a man wrote about the same things?#..... idk . im pretty anti cringe culture to begin with. but this one feels so bad to me . ur still a person past 33.
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Hi Gigi :3
Are we gonna get a hold them down animation? Or no because the uncomforty topic?
that's up for the future to decide
I'll be busy with commissions up until february I think, so util then I won't be working on any Epic animatics
and then once I have time again I'll finish God Games
and after that I kinda want to do Legendary-
#why do I draw like I'm running out of time#every day I draw like I'm running out of time#I would definitely enjoy making a hold them down animatic#the vocals on this song are simply too divine I love Antinous' voice so much#like when he died I actually got kinda upset just because I wanted to hear him sing more#even though the song is a bit too dark for what I normally work on I think I could make it work in my style#I'd just make the gruesome descriptions these very subtle drawings that wouldn't last long#and let the lyrics get the message across better than the visuals#gigi's asks#epic the musical
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hi Emma! Who do you consider your friends do you have a crush on anybody?
" For crushes... "
#ITS SO SO FUNNY HOW MUCH PAIRINGS FIT MELLY? i felt like i needed to draw her as the greed talked about in the bible#AND MELLY POTENTIALLY KNOWING WENDY FOOTE BEFORE THE MANOR? omg... im so excited to see their lore#2022 me would be so sad emmamelly is not bros otp no more#NOT THAT EMMAMELLY IS BAD AND GONE heh.#swaytura on the mind though u feel#idv#identity v#emma woods#identity v gardener#survivor ask blog#idv gardener#ask emma woods#identity v ask blog#mentions:#melly plinius#wendy foote#give her like 20 seconds before she crushes again trust#a moment to talk about ships:#I dont got a defined crush/relationship for Emma! I love all her ships ^^ it's so silly to see other peoples portrayals and hcs#I started off shipping Emma and Melly because of garden scenarios and how they'd share a mutual bond through their nature expertise#Tracy and Emma are one of my OG ships too! super cute! From gears to plants they both have their own parallels to learn from eachother#when I first started this blog I used to talk to this Mun and they started sending me Emma and Naib artworks!#my goodness their excitement was contagious ^^! I hope theyre doing alright.#To that one Kurt/Servais and Emma shipper I see you! the pairings are super calming and I think itd be interesting to explore their past!#Someone posted Lucky x Emma here too and heh.. I totally get you. theyd get into such shenanigans together and they seem sweet!#Then I've been seeing alot of Norton and Emma recently on tiktok! Theres this one artist that draws them in such silly scenarios#But everytime I think about shipping them I get flashbacks to a minecraft server with nortnaib and i feel like damn... betrayal </3#how could i do that to my nortnaib besties#Then when playing with my friend on IDV I noticed they had Mary and Emma room pictures and yknow what? go queen#hcs are very much appreciated :) maybe when i open asks again i'd love to hear everyones thoughts.
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Vienna 1989/90 giving me that tasty Tuggoffelees juice at the end of Mistoffelees' number. Love how Misto just spins Tugger away. It also actually reminds me a lot of a very similar duo spin dance at the end of this number that happens in Zurich with Lindsay Chambers' Misto, but instead it's with Munkustrap rather than Tugger.
And in Zurich's case, well, let's say that this Misto has a very different experience to Valentin's (who reminds me a lot of Tim Scott's Misto, especially with the makeup), and Munk is more showing he has accepted him fully.
@absolutehumandisaster - hope you don't mind me tagging you as I feel you'd be interested in my "little" tag ramble/thoughts on Valentin's vs Chambers' Mistos and how Valentin's is Chambers' Misto once he is fully accepted and has grown exponentially in confidence by the next Jellicle Ball.
#Cats the Musical#Rum Tum Tugger#Mistoffelees#Tuggoffelees#Valentin Baraian#Brian Carmack#would honestly be interesting to hear from Carmack#how he adapted to two very different Mistos#like Chambers' shy uncertain Misto is a 180 from Baraian's confident Misto#who is accepted as part of the tribe and is unafraid to show off his powers#(not that Chambers' Misto is afraid to show his powers- he definitely wants to show 'em off - see Gumbie Cat)#and even helps Munk out and takes the leadership role as regularly as he does#I like to think of Valentin's Misto as Zurich Misto when he's a lot more confident#in a year's time maybe a couple years' time#this is who Zurich Misto becomes one day#a confident and strong leader on the same footing as Munk#Also would love to ask Chambers why or how he interpreted Misto#the way he had - did he see others' Mistos before?#man I'd have SO MANY questions for all these actors!#wow what a big tag ramble I'll shut up now lol
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ok there was a poll going around a while ago about whether you think your 5-year-old self would recognize you, and I'm curious:
#polls#poll#heavily encouraging people to elaborate in the tags lol i wanna hear everyones thoughts#i'll start: i'm genuinely not sure#was looking at old photos and... i look really different#there's a photo of me and my brother and one of our cousins and like#we're all in our 20s now and idk if any of us is recognizable lmao#i didnt see that cousin at all from like when he was 13ish to when he was 18ish and i don't think i would have recognized him#i think meeting current me without context would be REALLY uncanny valley for 16-year-old me but idk if he'd catch on#did i know what i looked like well enough to recognize myself?#ahgsdlkkdh if it was fall or winter he might guess just based on clothes. i still wear the same style of button up/sweater combo#it's very Me in a way that i would have instantly clocked. at least in a 'oh nice i'd wear that' way lol#and the fact that we'd be the Same Exact Height would also help#mannerisms and smile and hands and things are the same more than my face is. hence uncanny valley#there's a photo of my dad when he was like 19 where when i saw it i was like ?!??! because he looks like me#he's significantly taller and his face is different and it's just a still image but something about the way he's sitting in the picture#i do that. my posture looks like that.#i think it would feel like that#but the ways in which i look different are like... i'm not sure they're things 16-year-old me would be able to grasp as Possible for him#he knew he was trans but even so#i didn't quite look like i'd figured out how to be a person yet#would pinocchio recognize himself as a Real Boy?#there are a lot of details you can't picture beforehand#idk. but that's my ramble over#personal
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20/10 stars little guy
#me (scrounging undetected autist whose ideal fashion sense is ''if i have to be seen at all: shrouded'') seeing encanto the other month.....#and on top of it all i LOVE slice of life. encanto being so focused on What It's About that there's so much of that + character / dynamic#also part of what i loved abt pixar luca. ppl like ''simple story but not a problem :)'' like YEAH thank god it's Also so slice of lifey#2021 what a year lol. though again i only Just saw encanto....tfw Studio Creative Control backs off a bit more than usual: Joy & Wonders#anyway i knew going in bruno wasn't an antagonist (fine if he was though b/c slay & b/c scapegoats can do whatever they want)#knew i'd love him b/c again Scapegoat shows up & i'm the Amazing Showstopping Totally Unique Never The Same gif on loop#but what a delight even beyond those expectations lol. love again how Focused the movie is on What It's About & Thee Points it makes#the Characters / Dynamics & the Metaphor & the plot stays right with all of that. the focus & importance re: thee scapegoats....#& bruno being disabled like whole layer of Yay Yay Yay spamming. that even when He's Back we're reminded he's not ''normal now'' or w/e#(i.e. presenting that as The Good Ending for the disabled outcast. vs just being embraced as part of the group again & accepted As He Is)#meanwhile was like hmm chat is there queercoding do we think? like is he queer: Yes. but is there coding? hmm#sure isn't cishet coded though. but i was also having the thought like fellas is it gay to [higher tenor tessitura or w/e] lol#made me go ''do i know this voice? ok do i know this name / face / actor? (i have never seen anything ever / bad w/names/faces/voices)''#indeed was like yeah haven't seen this; heard of this; seen it once ages ago no way i remember more than like 0.6 details#then from ''ohh haha I'm A Mammal That Cares....yeah i hear that'' to ''omg CHI-CHI RODRIGUEZ???? ;;0;;'' waaah fantastic revelation lmao#also the way Literal Future Seer ability was externalized to make it more wrangleable for plot is so impressive & fun & excellent#got a lot of [i like this thing i saw a lot] i got to say....guess i can do that w/the sideblog i made for one drawing i made last night#encanto 2021#bruno madrigal#also the way bruno is so Nervous + Hiding / Bold + Big Personality like yes ha ha ha Yes....tamped down as ''too much'' experience#also the [stuttering stumbling muttering mumbling] line: i fr nigh wept upon going back over a moment like what am i hearing here?#& realizing the answer was: it's bruno quietly stuttering a moment during this one line (& then (& then (& then)) i saw you) ;;;mm;;;#hang onnn....the first scapegoat who's driven off being Disabled is so real so ;m; that again they're like so he got Weirder; Okay ;;m;;#that we get jorge thumbs up nobody having an Aside to be like [ugh; this guy] or Anything. augh always have too much to say for 30 tags#fabric drape there sure not accurate but i was like okay if i try to really reference that i'm not getting this done tonight
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melyzard replied to this post:
You know, given that P&P was published in 1813 before the 1696 window tax was repealed, she might just be admiring both the outdoors AND the expansive and numerous windows themselves. I mean, good windows really were a big sign of wealth and consequence until 1851 when the tax was finally repealed. But yeah,also,yeah, she's definitely more interested in the outdoors than the Great Chimney Places of the Wealthy
It's true that windows were a major status symbol at the time and long before, but I don't think Elizabeth much cares about that, in all honesty! That is the relevant historical context for Mr Collins's rhapsodies over Rosings' windows, for instance:
she could not be in such raptures as Mr Collins expected the scene to inspire, and was but slightly affected by his enumeration of the windows in front of the house, and his relation of what the glazing altogether had originally cost Sir Lewis de Bourgh
He's silly but he's not mistaken in identifying the windows as a significant status symbol (which without that cultural context can seem like just another Mr Collins absurdity). But Elizabeth specifically, as a person, is consistently not very interested in these kinds of status symbols (though she knows they're there and understands what they signify). She is attracted to natural beauty and unassuming elegance, which is the overwhelming note at Pemberley:
She had never seen a place for which nature had done more, or where natural beauty had been so little counteracted by an awkward taste.
Even when it does come to Pemberley's expensive interior, she focuses on the aesthetic dissimilarity to Rosings and, even more, about what is suggested about Darcy's relationships to other people dependent on him (Elizabeth's takeaway from the pretty interior decorating project for Georgiana is "He is certainly a good brother" and not how much disposable income this represents, say).
The fuller quote when she first approaches the window is pretty clear about what Elizabeth is focusing on, IMO:
Elizabeth, after slightly surveying it, went to a window to enjoy its prospect. The hill, crowned with wood, from which they had descended, receiving increased abruptness from the distance, was a beautiful object. Every disposition of the ground was good; and she looked on the whole scene, the river, the trees scattered on its banks, and the winding of the valley, as far as she could trace it, with delight. As they passed into other rooms, these objects were taking different positions; but from every window there were beauties to be seen.
#it's sort of like her recognizing the darcy family livery when his curricle shows up in lambton#before making out darcy and georgiana themselves - she knows what an omnipresent livery signifies#and can instantly identify darcy's which suggests she's seen and noticed it many times#but we hear about it exactly once because she doesn't actually care#and also all these other concrete signs of prestige really flow outwards from the land in their socioeconomic system as well#it's often said that the only difference between the bennets and darcys in social status is that darcy has more money but this is very wron#the difference is that he has vastly more (inherited) LAND and thus power and prestige#the money generated by that land and what it can buy are part of that prestige but only part - so for elizabeth (a member of the gentry)#it makes sense even in socioeconomic terms that she's very focused on the land; even her joke to jane about mercenary motives#doesn't mention his money—only his land#(we're told that pemberley itself generates the full ten thousand a-year so we're not dealing w/ a norland + other inheritances situation#i'd argue that the main significance of his wealth for elizabeth is what it says about his property and not the other way around#even in her first conversation with wickham she describes darcy as 'a man of very large property in derbyshire' rather than by income)#melyzard#respuestas#elizabeth bennet#fitzwilliam darcy#austen blogging#pride and prejudice#jane austen
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Still baffled that Hopes so blatantly wrote Claude as the typical Evil Vaguely Middle Eastern Man set on destroying the Good White Nation for his Evil Vaguely Middle Eastern Nation that is often seen in fantasy settings - complete with him being seen as worse than a white woman who does many of the same evil deeds he does in-verse, even by his friends (should it be the bad ending route of SB) - and so many in the fandom were so eager to gobble that shit up. INSIST that "Clearly A Racist Stereotype" is LEAGUES better than "Subversion Of A Racist Stereotype" even. Like I don't think I'll ever get over how supremely fucked that is
#clyde discourse#anti clyde#like if you ever want a reminder that CIaude plays second fiddle to the other two lords in the fandom's mind here it is this is it#Hopes couldn't be more blatant in how much it wanted CIaude to be EdeIgard's fall guy in two out of three routes#with how they play switcheroo with their character traits#CIaude becomes the imperialistic violent invader who's willing to sacrifice innocents lives for his own gain#and who doesn't give a shit to recognize information that contradicts his beliefs#and EdeIgard becomes the one who always strives for the most peaceful means to resolve conflicts#(just ignore how she's the one who started the conflict like how what everyone in Hopes does - she has her reasons don'cha know!)#like i swear to god hearing all of these people try to sell the dumbass one-note Boss Bozo that is Hopes!CIaude#as ''more interesting'' than his 3H iteration will make my brain leak out of my nose#''what if our first POC lord was a violent evil invader who tricks everyone into thinking he's a good guy''#is not the fucking win you think it is.#like y'all this is PEAK racism. this shit isn't interesting it's brazenly disrespectful#''b-but he's not a bad guy in Hopes!'' THE SHIT HE PULLED WITH SRENG MAKES HIM OBJECTIVELY EVIL LIKE OH MY GOD SHUT UP#there's shit all ''gray and nuanced'' about him needlessly worsening foreign relations WHEN HIS WHOLE SHIT#IS ABOUT BE T T E R I N G FOREIGN RELATIONS. it is clear that in Hopes he either is too braindead to realize the contradiction#or it's just not what he gives a shit about in actuality and he's just saying it is to come across better#with recent reblogs thought i'd post this draft because WOW do people just. not give a shit#''uhm calling something racist is racist ackchually 🤓'' get your dumbass outta here
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Hello I stumbled across your profile and I just say I love your art style! I've gotta ask, how'd your develop it? And do you have any advice for someone who can't decide what they want their art to look like?
Thank you so much!
To be entirely honest, I don't feel like I truly "developed" my style. I feel a lot more like I finally let myself draw it! But I am incredibly deliberate with my work, and I do have clear tendencies and preferences... So I'll do my best to explain how I got to where I am now as an artist.
It's important to remember that "style" is something of a nebulous concept. It changes with you as you grow as a person, and most artists can work in and emulate many art styles! Art really is a form of communication with yourself, and your "style" is a reflection of the tendencies and preferences you have. My art does not look how it looked 5 years ago, and my art will look different 5 years from now too. I've changed, and my art reflects that!
(2012, 2018, 2023; two pieces I remember being incredibly proud of and considered my best work up til that point, and then my most recent piece)
What you need to do, as everyone will tell you, is study the fundamentals (anatomy, perspective, form and structure, lighting and shadow, color, and composition) so you have the proper tools to make the most informed decisions possible about your art, and so you can deliberately break or follow rules as you please for your desired effect. I know it sounds silly to learn rules if you're not gonna be following them anyways, but they help you be much more consistent and intentional! More knowledge is NEVER a bad thing to have!
However, I know it's a bit demoralizing to just be told to study fundamentals. Everyone knows you're supposed to do that, but it takes YEARS to learn, and people want their art to feel how they want it to now (which is very very very normal to want!)
So on that front, I have 2 follow up suggestions that I personally find helpful (of course, everyone is different, so it's not like this is the only way to learn! But, if it resonates with you, it might mean it will work for you too.)
1: Separate study from application
I believe this is beneficial for a few reasons:
If the goal of every piece is learning, it can become frustrating, overwhelming, and boring
It's harder to self critique when there are multiple variables to investigate. I like to study one fundamental at a time
Study (usually) works best with a large quantity of output, whereas application of knowledge (finished pieces) is often more satisfying and effective when you get to take your time
Deliberate practical application of what you've learned in a finished piece helps cement the learning in your mind, and also lets you get satisfying finished pieces with noticeable improvement after a good study session!
I've found that keeping these things separate helps me improve faster and more deliberately, and it takes a lot of the pressure off of both aspects! I'm not worried about my studies looking beautiful, they're just to learn! And I don't feel pressured to critique my finished pieces, cause they're just for fun and to make something pretty. I personally find this helps me have a much healthier relationship with my art.
When studying, copy! Copy things as best as you can, all the time. It gives you something to compare to for self critique (and of course, if you're copying someone else's work and you share the study, ALWAYS give credit, share the original, and say it was for study.) In application, don't copy: reference. Make it yours!
2: Let yourself do the things that feel "easy" or like "cheating"
This one is simpler: nothing in art is easy.
If something feels easy to you, most of the time it's not because it's actually any easier... It's because it's part of your natural tendencies and preferences! This took me forever to realize, but as long as you're actually doing some study, then you're learning. You don't need to learn All The Time. When you're doing the "application" portion, you should let yourself do whatever is actually the most fun and feels easiest! This is where your style will start to come through, and where you get to learn about yourself. Take the pressure off, and have fun!!!
The only cheating in art is theft. If you're not stealing, then it's allowed!
My whole life (and yes, still!) I'd get regular criticism about both my style and my subject matter. You will too. You'll see a thousand different styles, and a hundred different things to admire in each. Your heart will ache that you don't draw like others do.
But art is a form of communication with yourself. It's like your voice, or your accent; just something that's a part of you! It can be fun to mimic others', but when you sit to have a conversation you speak naturally. (I know some people want to and do change their voice, but this is a metaphor and metaphors aren't perfect)
Don't stress so much about what you want your art to look like, especially if you're not sure. There's a lot of value to be had in constant experimentation, I think it'd be rather boring to only draw one style the rest of my life. What I draw is what I want to see, right now, for who I am now! It's a part of me and comes naturally, if I let it!
I hope this helps!
#justbrowsing1124#asks#art tips#drawing advice#drawing tips#art advice#long post here sorry#long post#I could have gone on so so so so so so much more but this took me like 2 hours to write#and I've gotta go to bed! haha#so if you feel like something wasn't properly explained you can send a follow up ask and I'd be happy to elaborate#I love answering questions like this#sorry if it sounds a bit condescending I wrote the post for like... what would have helped me to hear when I was just starting out#so I wrote it basically for how I think would help I guess a kid#sorry about that. the content is still all what I think though#also I realize that i didn't really talk about like... my journey... at all here lol.#I guess if you wanna know my personal journey I'd love to get into it!#but i focused a lot more on the second part#cause yknow#that's kinda what my journey was internally anyways#but yknow no fun progress of my art with notes about what I was doing and why#but fuck that sounds fun if someone did wanna know about that LOL#I am VERY deliberate with my art I could legit analyze every piece#pretentious? maybe. do I care? not at all.#why make it if I dont have a reason?
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hi ian i come bearing angst fuel for the yuusha as twsted elsa (maybe an idea for her possible overblot idk she kinda reads to me as someone whod preemptively isolate in the case she feels...blotty)
(also seeing that art of her playing violin totally didnt fuck me up im still nursing my bruised heart 🥴🥴💕💕)
https://youtu.be/NDldNaEZTt8?si=Wm71pgTltuJLjFvk
^^this is from the frozen musical where they gave a song to elsa to explore her emotional turmoil and it just fleshed out her character so much more than the orig movie (ok i havent seen frozen 2 oops) but just this section here:
Is everyone in danger as long as I'm alive?
Was I a monster from the start?
How did I end up with this frozen heart?
Bringing destruction to the stage
Caught in a war that I was never meant to wage
anyways lmao i jus think the song is neat i think yuushas neat (i wanna see more of her ahehehe i love seeing infodumps abt ur yuus)
-diodellet
(throwback to this “what if yuu had magic” ask where i had a ✨realization✨ and this more recent yuusha lore drop that i gave zero elaboration on 🙃)
very rough ob yuu design??? idk i came up with it on the spot ;;; and it’s kinda based on disney’s concept art of elsa when she was supposed to be the villain.
evil ice queen vibes :3
also i know the ob monster is supposed to be based on the villain— which is elsa in this case— but lowkey. an ice monster is way cooler.
also also i just realized after i drew this i couldve done a grim/yuu tandem overblot ough 🤧🤧 (next time I'll do that instead if i ever go back to this concept)
(read more below because it got SO long)
AAH anyways hi hi dio!!! when i saw your ask i went —
— with this entire post
AAGH HOW MANY MORE UNINTENTIONAL CONNECTIONS ARE GOING TO BE BETWEEN FROZEN AND YUUSHA
i guess watching the movie everyday when it came out when you’re like 9 does something to your brain chemistry (and still haunts you at least a decade later) 💀
but anyways the angst ;;; overblot yuu ;;;;; my brain is rotting and the worms have taken over
also i didn’t even know that there was a frozen broadway musical so im gonna have to check it out later 🏃💨💨💨
(also dont worry frozen 2 is a nice watch for the most part but the way they concluded the characters did not feel 100% satisfying to me 😭 BUT i love some of the songs tho ;;; kristoff’s goofy 80s ballad song is one of them specifically, i need everyone to listen to it)
hfgnnfhfgv anyways thank you so much i’m chugging that angst fuel as i expand more on a possible ob yuusha with another infodump 💪💪💪
⚠️⚠️⚠️ ALSO IM SORRY BUT mentions of taking one’s own life so please proceed with caution ⚠️⚠️⚠️
i had to reread what my initial thoughts about it bc it was months ago??? and after rereading im just like, huh what was i on— (just that feeling when you just cringe at your old posts ;; but idk i think the insanity/cringe sometimes can loop back into being a genius and the cycle just continues)
anyways i’ve been on and off writing yuusha’s bio and overblot yuu was just at the back of my mind chilling but i didn’t really do anything with it.
but now that i have the opportunity,,,, im gonna go on the magicless route this time bc i feel like I've said all what i thought if it was an overblot due to her own magic.
so uh from what i gather overblots are a mix of overuse of magic + intense negative emotion.
since it’s magicless yuu, i guess the one of the general headcanons around the fandom is that they’ve been too exposed to overblots and then intense negative emotions suddenly just triggered their overblot.
uh anyways onto the elsa parts
Is everyone in danger as long as I'm alive? Was I a monster from the start? How did I end up with this frozen heart? Bringing destruction to the stage Caught in a war that I was never meant to wage
THE LYRICS ARE SO GOOD ;;; i really love how some broadway interpretations expand on the source material
and yeah you're right 🤧🤧🤧— yuusha would try to hide and escape, especially as she overblots bc she would try to avoid hurting people (and like elsa, it'd only hurt others more trying to escape bc of probably how she leaves destruction in her wake trying to make others stay away from her 😔)
(this is a small tangent but i remember thinking about an overblot kalim and i imagine him to be similar, like he would not hurt anyone intentionally in his overblot.)
anyways so the way it would go is that i imagine her friends got fatally injured either because a) she feels that she’s too “useless” without magic to help and wasn’t able to do anything OR b) her attempts at helping to try and prove that she can help without magic made everything worse.
and then she just goes into a guilty spiral then boom — overblot.
ALSO in the song, the way elsa briefly contemplated taking her own life but then realizing there’s no guarantee that would solve anything hnghgh (<- another unintentional parallel to my yuusha lore because that’s actually how she ended up in twst except she did NOT have the latter realization)
there’s this “yuu is dead” theory i’m just using and that the black carriage actually just caught yuusha’s soul after she took her own life from all the burden.
also some bonus angst context for that violin post :3
yuusha back in her homeworld is raised and known to be a gifted musician. people can feel the life and soul in her music but when people interact with her, they are usually met with an ice-cold (heh) personality.
the dead family member was the one who taught her music and the only one who was kind to her.
there’s always an expectation from her family to perform well and to keep up appearances as to not be a humiliation since anything she does can reflect on her entire family. (also hi, slight yuusha/jamil parallels maybe???)
the way she presents herself also stemmed from an incident as a child when she went apeshit on another kid bc she was defending a friend.
so from then on she was taught taught to conceal don’t feel those emotions — which just unfortunately extended to any positive ones, not just negative ones like rage.
so when she is brought to twst, there’s no memory of her being forced to hold back her emotions so she’s just unapologetically affectionate and open with everyone bc that’s how she really is.
but every now and then, memories of her breaking down haunt her in her dreams or as subtle reminders in the waking world.
then yuusha just goes on her day like she just wasn't reminded of her past.
(unnecessarily tragic lore my beloved, but anyway��)
another extremely brief tangent and bonus -> the two songs i had on loop while drawing pre-twst yuusha
lindsey stirling my beloved i love her music
the songs are such a vibe
her instrumentals in “lose you now” especially makes me feel some sort of way 😖
#AHH THIS IS /SO/ LONG#THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN IM GIVEN THE CHANCE TO RAMBLE#but thank you for the ask dio!! 🤧🤧#it makes me so happy to hear you like yuusha 😭💕💕#this also took a bit because i needed to like#actually turn all these thoughts into actual coherent words#and for them to actually. make sense together.#idk im proofreading this myself during the gamer hours of midnight hfdjslkf#i sure /hope/ they do make sense for the most part because this is pure massive brain vomit#[—✦ chatting#-✧ my art#-✧ oc rambles#(💜) yuusha#pretwst💜#-✦—]#at this point too i’m sticking to the twst elsa concept#it just felt weird admitting it bc i have a history with this movie and its fandom in general#kids would ask you “whos your favorite disney princess it cant be elsa” bc everyone would pick her so i'd have to pick another </3#she was too famous and therefore too obvious and basic#not to mention “let it go” was EVERYWHERE and it did become annoying at one point 😭#the fandom around frozen back then was v questionable too ngl and i was also in that hole for a bit so it's just /ack/#but rewatching the movie i realize how elsa kinda speaks to me hgjkdsjfaljsd#i could lowkey highkey rant more about her but anyways#imma be an elsa defender and apologist for as long as i am able
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ruthlessly deleting old 2021/2022 posts (not by me) from my dean studies tag like *click* un-incorporating that from my beliefs system! also the way SO many posts have me like ok uh-huh good aaand then say one completely wrong thing that loses me. it's so many posts.
#it's usually when they randomly drop some line of fanon. like saying dean has never admitted to being wrong in his life#or never expressed an emotion or been vulnerable or doesn't Talk About Feelings or is super duper RepressedTM#like i'm sorry. have you watched the show. oh and have you taken off the sammy POV goggles first?#bc this guy is always crying and being vulnerable and talking about his feelings. he is self-aware.#he may not always want to talk to sam abt things! but he sure does talk about things with other people#do i need to reblog the compilation posts AGAIN?#(also re: his sexualiy? AWARE. sorry i saw him flirt and be flustered by so many men. he knows how he feels.)#and then 'first time ever admitting to being wrong' this one came from a post abt dean's prayer in the trap#like i'm sorry but first of all. dean apologizes more than any other character on the show. there are hard numbers on this.#people have tracked this on spreadsheets. i think ilarual is one of them.#and often he is apologizing for things that aren't even his fault! but he still feels responsible for bc he's been made to feel that way#his whole life!!#other characters *cough samandcas *cough* apologizing Less doesn't mean they've Done less things wrong#it just means they're not owning up to it and brushing it under the rug. something both do frequently.#anyways. aside from apologies. dean also has no problem admitting he's wrong y'know when he's actually wrong#which is less often than you'd think bc he has pretty good instincts and intuition and often suspects things which turn out to be Right#but anyways. another thing abt the trap prayer is. i don't think cas Needed to be forgiven#i think dean was justified in feeling angry w cas over the circumstances leading to the Death of His Mother! totally normal grief response!#i think cas also understands dean to be someone who needs time to process and deal with his feelings (he says as much to jack)#however. despite me not think dean Needs to forgive cas. the thing is. with dean when it comes to cas the forgiveness is implicit#when he says /of course i forgive you/ and in the cut like /of course i wanted you to stay/ like. yes he was mad and dealing with grief#but also. yes cas was already forgiven even back then. he just needed Time to work through the feelings#anyways i think dean says he 'forgives' cas bc it's what CAS needed to hear to stop feeling guilty and dean gives him that closure#but i also think cas was already forgiven even in dean's anger. he wants him there always. i'd rather have you. we can fix this. etc etc#a lot of tags for a non-rebloggable post ajksdfs maybe i'll make these into a real post sometime#vic.txt#dean and feelings#so i can find this all again later
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watching cdramas with french subtitles is the best idea i ever had. if the show is in a language i don't speak i'm already going to have to be closely reading the subtitles, so why not also use it as language practice? the subs go by so fast i don't have time to translate them internally into english, i just have to absorb the meaning without doing that (which is how it's supposed to work but i've never been fully able to do that before). AND the best part is that when i'm going about my day i'm finding that some of my internal monologue is just in french now?? i think it's because subs are almost entirely dialogue...i'm getting hours of dialogue practice without actually having to converse. it's also fun with cdramas specifically because i have by now picked up some chinese vocabulary from watching tv and i get to see how that vocabulary is translated into french. idk man i'm just having a great time.
#i used to watch stuff in english with french subtitles but it's just not the same#maybe it would be more interesting now that i'm better at french but idk it didn't really do much for me#because i'd mostly be understanding via the english i was hearing and didn't have to rely on the french for much#but with chinese there are only like. 20 sentences you could say that i wouldn't need a translation for#anything other than that and i have to rely on the subtitles#so i have to comprehend the french or i won't know what's happening at all#the other great thing about this method of improving comprehension is you can rewind!!!#you can pause. you can repeat it if necessary. you can theoretically do that in real conversations but watch out#so like. when i'm just reading a novel i can read at any old pace. and in fact since i always read aloud i can only read at#the speed at which i can speak french. which is faster than it used to be but still not as fast as i can read silently#but reading subs forces you to read pretty fast. which is good practice. and then whenever you miss something you still have#the option to back up#my posts#french#subtitles#f#i always have subtitles on even when it's english subs for oral english#but in that case the subs are an aid and i'm mostly comprehending by listening#auditory processing is easier with hints lol#so it's usually possible for me to say chop vegetables or something while watching english-language media#because i'll just look up when i need help understanding something. but i'm not reading all the subs#not the case for a show in any other language. if i'm going to watch a show in chinese i have to sit down and concentrate#if i'm already concentrating and reading all the subs might as well make some progress
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when a fanfic has perfect characterization while still adding its own unique spin on it
(these are some but not all the feeling i have. i have SO many feelings about when this happens. rant in the tags)
#i've been reading fanfic since i was around nine or ten.#i've read thousands of them and that's not an exaggeration#and i'd say one in three hundred fanfics i read pulls this off?#it's such a rare treat and delight when it happens#let me break this down#characterization can be played with in fanfics because theyre fanfics#and everyone can do what they like because of the nature of fanfic#we're just here to have a good time#but i've always prefered it when they nail characterization#i know they've done a good job when i can hear the character in my head as i read the dialogue#but when people take the canon characterization and push it further?#holy shit#when they make the character almost more in character than the OG canon#and pull off interesting ideas with this version of the character?#allow me to elucidate how i feel about this#(clears throat)#FHDSFKSFJHDSK#sdfjkLHDFjShfpsf#fsgjsg;dsg#fsgsgdshglkdsg#LJDS#AAAA#AAAAAAAAAA#(SCREAMING)#fsdisd;lfjs#sdsgdslg#ajksa#thank you for coming to my ted talk
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Going to bed. Tomorrow's Halloween! It'd be so nice though if I could finish the outline for the book I wanted to write in November. Don't know if I said it here, but I'm doing NaNoWriMo in November but like, not officially lol. Just a writing challenge with my sisters. I want to start something new. But, so far, my outline is so-so. I do have an outline for the sequel to this other book, but I just want to work on something new. Like a very self-indulgent paranormal romance or something like that.
#I want to query the next book I write too#I'd like to try traditional publishing next#Currently I have one SciFi novel out there in the querying trenches#but sometimes I feel like it's never going to find an agent#it's a stand-alone but that guy is hefty at 109k words#for a debut author that may scare away literary agents lol#I love self-publishing because of all the freedoms it offers#but I also want the benefits of traditional publishing#like having more reach#and being recognized as a writer#as in you may not people (esp family) immediately dismissing you as an author when they hear you are indie published#I've had family members immediately ask me how much money I make when I say I'm a writer after they ask what I do#Do I ask them hey how much money do you make? if they ever mention their job? Nope. Because that's a weird and intrusive thing to ask#writing#me#I want to keep self-publishing the books I know are very unlikely to find a home in the market lol#Like the one I linked The Crystal Conjurer#That one is admittedly not very good lol#It's wordy and the first book I ever wrote in English#so it might not just be wordy but also grammatically weird Idk lol#I know for sure the pacing is kinda slow and it's because this book was just something I wrote entirely for fun#I wasn't thinking about the market or attention spans when I wrote it#Just wanted to have fun
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There's honestly... just so many people, just so so so so so many people in this world where I'm like... aren't you people tired of this fucking... you know, I was going to call them clowns but that's really disrespectful to clowns, these people could never get their face on an egg...
Anyway, aren't you tired of this childish jackass? Don't you just want to ignore them and never have to hear about them again? If we just ignored them they legitimately would go away... don't you want that?
And this applies to... just ungodly amounts of people, from jake paul to even elon musk (just... don't touch his shit, he'll run out of money eventually with how bad he is with it), to just... name an annoying famous person and you'll name someone I've literally forgotten right now that I could never have to hear about again if people would just ignore them (unless they committed crimes, investigators are welcome to pay attention while gathering a case)
Yet the answer's always "no, we're paying so much attention to them!" and I'm just like... why? Why would you watch jake paul box? I heard about that and was like "he's still doing that shit?", and yet I guess it made a lot of money yet again and it's just like... ignore him
These people could go away, and yet
#to be blunt this is also very very very much about trump#the best part of all if he'd lost is how I'd never have had to see or hear about his loser ass again#and you people couldn't even manage that (collective you; not you personally... unless you're Pennsylvanian basically)#like he's insufferable... unless you're a die hard fan of him you know he's just stupid and annoying#why would you want to hear a washed up reality star for four more fucking years?#we could ignore these people hard enough to make them go away#and yet I'll be stuck having to hear him say shit about Hannibal or whatever for four more years cause you couldn't do that#I'm so sick of it; I honestly am#jake paul could have been ignored into obscurity like a decade ago; and yet he's able to launch a scam with mr beast#like dear god... can't you people find something better to do than watch these people? ...like watch paint dry?#it's not just people; it's every live action disney remake; it's... it's just all of it... fucking ai#can't you people fucking ignore it? can't you just kinda boo when it shows up and then forget about it?#I get someone like elon is a toddler that needs an eye kept on him to make sure he's not breaking shit but like...#we could just not buy his cars... which... like... doesn't seem like a hard ask given how badly they're manufactured#again... weirdos on tumblr; I'm doubting you're to blame for most of this#but just like... could we just for the love of god let the stupid shit die out you losers?#I'm not even... I'm not even joking here; this isn't like a goof; this is a prescription#nfts die if literally everyone ignores them; live action remakes die if no one watches them; elon goes bankrupt if no one buys from him#(also gets really sad because he's a massive attention seeker; and that's pretty funny so bonus)#why do I still have to hear about jake paul other than like... 'he's been arrested for fraud' or something reasonable?#could have been done with him years ago... like maybe if you kept around one or two bad habits but... like the lootboxes couldn't go?#tune in; turn on; drop out... this part here; I'm asking you to do the drop out part#drop out of society and stop playing their bullshit games#pay attention; be engaged with the world and your community as best you can; and just stop... stop giving this shit oxygen#but again... if this isn't hitting the void it's probably hitting the choir... you're not an oaf on twitter sucking this stuff up#but fuck me... worry over tariffs and other shit aside; concrete quantifiable worries I can lay out I might add#for the people who act like it's just sky is falling mentality; nah... I can expressly say what and why I worry about come january#but all that aside... you couldn't have voted against him just... just to never hear his annoying ass again?#not saying harris would have been good or bad or anything else... I'm saying she would have been a fuck of a lot less annoying#and like... you gave elon a win too... the two most annoying people on the planet and ya couldn't just... not
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