#when they're from the goddamn fire nation >>>>

[glassy-eyed-poet]

The way I'd let Azula ruin me if it meant I could breathe the same oxygen as her

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Antitrust is a labor issue

I'm touring my new, nationally bestselling novel The Bezzle! Catch me SATURDAY (Apr 27) in MARIN COUNTY, then Winnipeg (May 2), Calgary (May 3), Vancouver (May 4), and beyond!

This is huge: yesterday, the FTC finalized a rule banning noncompete agreements for every American worker. That means that the person working the register at a Wendy's can switch to the fry-trap at McD's for an extra $0.25/hour, without their boss suing them:

https://www.ftc.gov/news-events/news/press-releases/2024/04/ftc-announces-rule-banning-noncompetes

The median worker laboring under a noncompete is a fast-food worker making close to minimum wage. You know who doesn't have to worry about noncompetes? High tech workers in Silicon Valley, because California already banned noncompetes, as did Colorado, Illinois, Maine, Maryland, New Hampshire, North Dakota, Oklahoma, Oregon, Rhode Island, Virginia and Washington.

The fact that the country's largest economies, encompassing the most "knowledge-intensive" industries, could operate without shitty bosses being able to shackle their best workers to their stupid workplaces for years after those workers told them to shove it shows you what a goddamned lie noncompetes are based on. The idea that companies can't raise capital or thrive if their know-how can walk out the door, secreted away in the skulls of their ungrateful workers, is bullshit:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/02/02/its-the-economy-stupid/#neofeudal

Remember when OpenAI's board briefly fired founder Sam Altman and Microsoft offered to hire him and 700 of his techies? If "noncompetes block investments" was true, you'd think they'd have a hard time raising money, but no, they're still pulling in billions in investor capital (primarily from Microsoft itself!). This is likewise true of Anthropic, the company's major rival, which was founded by (wait for it), two former OpenAI employees.

Indeed, Silicon Valley couldn't have come into existence without California's ban on noncompetes – the first silicon company, Shockley Semiconductors, was founded by a malignant, delusional eugenicist who also couldn't manage a lemonade stand. His eight most senior employees (the "Traitorous Eight") quit his shitty company to found Fairchild Semiconductor, a rather successful chip shop – but not nearly so successful as the company that two of Fairchild's top employees founded after they quit: Intel:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/10/24/the-traitorous-eight-and-the-battle-of-germanium-valley/

Likewise a lie: the tale that noncompetes raise wages. This theory – beloved of people whose skulls are so filled with Efficient Market Hypothesis Brain-Worms that they've got worms dangling out of their nostrils and eye-sockets – holds that the right to sign a noncompete is an asset that workers can trade to their employers in exchange for better pay. This is absolutely true, provided you ignore reality.

Remember: the median noncompete-bound worker is a fast food employee making near minimum wage. The major application of noncompetes is preventing that worker from getting a raise from a rival fast-food franchisee. Those workers are losing wages due to noncompetes. Meanwhile, the highest paid workers in the country are all clustered in a a couple of cities in northern California, pulling down sky-high salaries in a state where noncompetes have been illegal since the gold rush.

If a capitalist wants to retain their workers, they can compete. Offer your workers get better treatment and better wages. That's how capitalism's alchemy is supposed to work: competition transmogrifies the base metal of a capitalist's greed into the noble gold of public benefit by making success contingent on offering better products to your customers than your rivals – and better jobs to your workers than those rivals are willing to pay. However, capitalists hate capitalism:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/04/18/in-extremis-veritas/#the-winnah

Capitalists hate capitalism so much that they're suing the FTC, in MAGA's beloved Fifth Circuit, before a Trump-appointed judge. The case was brought by Trump's financial advisors, Ryan LLC, who are using it to drum up business from corporations that hate Biden's new taxes on the wealthy and stepped up IRS enforcement on rich tax-cheats.

Will they win? It's hard to say. Despite what you may have heard, the case against the FTC order is very weak, as Matt Stoller explains here:

https://www.thebignewsletter.com/p/ftc-enrages-corporate-america-by

The FTC's statutory authority to block noncompetes comes from Section 5 of the FTC Act, which bans "unfair methods of competition" (hard to imagine a less fair method than indenturing your workers). Section 6(g) of the Act lets the FTC make rules to enforce Section 5's ban on unfairness. Both are good law – 6(g) has been used many times (26 times in the five years from 1968-73 alone!).

The DC Circuit court upheld the FTC's right to "promulgate rules defining the meaning of the statutory standards of the illegality the Commission is empowered to prevent" in 1973, and in 1974, Congress changed the FTC Act, but left this rulemaking power intact.

The lawyer suing the FTC – Anton Scalia's larvum, a pismire named Eugene Scalia – has some wild theories as to why none of this matters. He says that because the law hasn't been enforced since the ancient days of the (checks notes) 1970s, it no longer applies. He says that the mountain of precedent supporting the FTC's authority "hasn't aged well." He says that other antitrust statutes don't work the same as the FTC Act. Finally, he says that this rule is a big economic move and that it should be up to Congress to make it.

Stoller makes short work of these arguments. The thing that tells you whether a law is good is its text and precedent, "not whether a lawyer thinks a precedent is old and bad." Likewise, the fact that other antitrust laws is irrelevant "because, well, they are other antitrust laws, not this antitrust law." And as to whether this is Congress's job because it's economically significant, "so what?" Congress gave the FTC this power.

Now, none of this matters if the Supreme Court strikes down the rule, and what's more, if they do, they might also neuter the FTC's rulemaking power in the bargain. But again: so what? How is it better for the FTC to do nothing, and preserve a power that it never uses, than it is for the Commission to free the 35-40 million American workers whose bosses get to use the US court system to force them to do a job they hate?

The FTC's rule doesn't just ban noncompetes – it also bans TRAPs ("training repayment agreement provisions"), which require employees to pay their bosses thousands of dollars if they quit, get laid off, or are fired:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/08/04/its-a-trap/#a-little-on-the-nose

The FTC's job is to protect Americans from businesses that cheat. This is them, doing their job. If the Supreme Court strikes this down, it further delegitimizes the court, and spells out exactly who the GOP works for.

This is part of the long history of antitrust and labor. From its earliest days, antitrust law was "aimed at dollars, not men" – in other words, antitrust law was always designed to smash corporate power in order to protect workers. But over and over again, the courts refused to believe that Congress truly wanted American workers to get legal protection from the wealthy predators who had fastened their mouth-parts on those workers' throats. So over and over – and over and over – Congress passed new antitrust laws that clarified the purpose of antitrust, using words so small that even federal judges could understand them:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/14/aiming-at-dollars/#not-men

After decades of comatose inaction, Biden's FTC has restored its role as a protector of labor, explicitly tackling competition through a worker protection lens. This week, the Commission blocked the merger of Capri Holdings and Tapestry Inc, a pair of giant conglomerates that have, between them, bought up nearly every "affordable luxury" brand (Versace, Jimmy Choo, Michael Kors, Kate Spade, Coach, Stuart Weitzman, etc).

You may not care about "affordable luxury" handbags, but you should care about the basis on which the FTC blocked this merger. As David Dayen explains for The American Prospect: 33,000 workers employed by these two companies would lose the wage-competition that drives them to pay skilled sales-clerks more to cross the mall floor and switch stores:

https://prospect.org/economy/2024-04-24-challenge-fashion-merger-new-antitrust-philosophy/

In other words, the FTC is blocking a $8.5b merger that would turn an oligopoly into a monopoly explicitly to protect workers from the power of bosses to suppress their wages. What's more, the vote was unanimous, include the Commission's freshly appointed (and frankly, pretty terrible) Republican commissioners:

https://www.ftc.gov/news-events/news/press-releases/2024/04/ftc-moves-block-tapestrys-acquisition-capri

A lot of people are (understandably) worried that if Biden doesn't survive the coming election that the raft of excellent rules enacted by his agencies will die along with his presidency. Here we have evidence that the Biden administration's anti-corporate agenda has become institutionalized, acquiring a bipartisan durability.

And while there hasn't been a lot of press about that anti-corporate agenda, it's pretty goddamned huge. Back in 2021, Tim Wu (then working in the White wrote an executive order on competition that identified 72 actions the agencies could take to blunt the power of corporations to harm everyday Americans:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2021/08/party-its-1979-og-antitrust-back-baby

Biden's agency heads took that plan and ran with it, demonstrating the revolutionary power of technical administrative competence and proving that being good at your job is praxis:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/10/18/administrative-competence/#i-know-stuff

In just the past week, there's been a storm of astoundingly good new rules finalized by the agencies:

A minimum staffing ratio for nursing homes;

The founding of the American Climate Corps;

A guarantee of overtime benefits;

A ban on financial advisors cheating retirement savers;

Medical privacy rules that protect out-of-state abortions;

A ban on junk fees in mortgage servicing;

Conservation for 13m Arctic acres in Alaska;

Classifying "forever chemicals" as hazardous substances;

A requirement for federal agencies to buy sustainable products;

Closing the gun-show loophole.

That's just a partial list, and it's only Thursday.

Why the rush? As Gerard Edic writes for The American Prospect, finalizing these rules now protects them from the Congressional Review Act, a gimmick created by Newt Gingrich in 1996 that lets the next Senate wipe out administrative rules created in the months before a federal election:

https://prospect.org/politics/2024-04-23-biden-administration-regulations-congressional-review-act/

In other words, this is more dazzling administrative competence from the technically brilliant agencies that have labored quietly and effectively since 2020. Even laggards like Pete Buttigieg have gotten in on the act, despite a very poor showing in the early years of the Biden administration:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/02/11/dinah-wont-you-blow/#ecp

Despite those unpromising beginnings, the DOT has gotten onboard the trains it regulates, and passed a great rule that forces airlines to refund your money if they charge you for services they don't deliver:

https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/statements-releases/2024/04/24/fact-sheet-biden-harris-administration-announces-rules-to-deliver-automatic-refunds-and-protect-consumers-from-surprise-junk-fees-in-air-travel/

The rule also bans junk fees and forces airlines to compensate you for late flights, finally giving American travelers the same rights their European cousins have enjoyed for two decades.

It's the latest in a string of muscular actions taken by the DOT, a period that coincides with the transfer of Jen Howard from her role as chief of staff to FTC chair Lina Khan to a new gig as the DOT's chief of competition enforcement:

https://prospect.org/infrastructure/transportation/2024-04-25-transportation-departments-new-path/

Under Howard's stewardship, the DOT blocked the merger of Spirit and Jetblue, and presided over the lowest flight cancellation rate in more than decade:

https://www.transportation.gov/briefing-room/2023-numbers-more-flights-fewer-cancellations-more-consumer-protections

All that, along with a suite of protections for fliers, mark a huge turning point in the US aviation industry's long and worsening abusive relationship with the American public. There's more in the offing, too including a ban on charging families extra for adjacent seats, rules to make flying with wheelchairs easier, and a ban on airlines selling passenger's private information to data brokers.

There's plenty going on in the world – and in the Biden administration – that you have every right to be furious and/or depressed about. But these expert agencies, staffed by experts, have brought on a tsunami of rules that will make every working American better off in a myriad of ways. Those material improvements in our lives will, in turn, free us up to fight the bigger, existential fights for a livable planet, free from genocide.

It may not be a good time to be alive, but it's a much better time than it was just last week.

And it's only Thursday.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/04/25/capri-v-tapestry/#aiming-at-dollars-not-men

[princess-of-the-corner]

Ok I feel like Azula would be more willing to turn on Ozai and trust Enji in this au. Because she knows the political game. She knows what Ozai intended for Azula to do when he 'assigned' her here. It at least sours her opinion of Ozai, because Ozai used her as a bargaining chip. She's of course so fucking happy when Enji instead treats her kindly. Internally of course, but now the tensions are high. The entire palace knows why Ozai sent his daughter to the spirit.

Zuko, Mai, and Ty Lee were 100% willing to kill the spirit if he hurt Azula tho. They thank Agni that the spirit is kind and actually encouraging Azula. He even treats them kindly! Mai can never get Tom-tom to stay still until he finds a liking in Enji's piggyback rides. He praises Zuko's sword skills and acts as a sparring partner to everyone. Enji is scared of Ty Lee, and she finds that hilarious( and likes being treated seriously for once). To Enji her chi blocking felt like erasure and he ain't messing with that. Everyone actually likes and hesitantly trusts the spirit. So when he brings up genuine concerns about Ozai both as parent and as a ruler? They listen.

OH YEAH NO LIKE

First off, love how we agree that there was creepy intentions in the idea of Ozai going 'ah yes hand my daughter over as an attendant/'sacrifice' to the Spirit'. Which came both from the whole 'the last time this happened to Enji he got a wife' but /also/ there was actually a scrapped plotline in ATLA where Azula was going to have an arranged marriage. So it's not like it's out of character.

I think Azula isn't so much upset at Ozai for using her as a pawn. She knows exactly what he's like after all. But also. It's.

I've talked on this before in a lot of my atla aus and such. But most of Azula's actions are motivated from her fear of Ozai. He has her convinced that, should she ever fail to meet his expectations, he can destroy her. After all, look at Zuko. Scarred and banished and sent on an impossible quest and eventually hunted down.

And in some ways, he's right. Ozai is Fire Lord. If Azula were to fail him, or Spirits forbid if she ever betrayed him, he'd have the entire Fire Nation at his disposal to hunt her down. And while I, personally, think that Azula could take Ozai in a 1v1 fight, he's manipulated and gaslit her into thinking that he'd win the battle outright.

So unless Azula is sure that she'd be safe from him, she's going to stay loyal to Ozai. Do everything he wants. And if she does make a mistake, she shifts the blame so someone else gets punished.

And within this 'Enji gets tossed in' concept, he can protect her from Ozai. Like obviously Enji can take Ozai in a 1v1 fight. But also! Because most people are under the impression that Enji is a Spirit, if the literal Fire Spirit shows up and says 'Hey your Fire Lord has bad vibes I think you should kick him out', they're going to listen.

Especially if Azula helps fuel the flames, so to speak, by giving Enji some inside info on how Ozai isn't actually the rightful leader of the Fire Nation.

Also yeah everyone is terrified of Ty Lee and her abilities. (Enji may look into that Chi Blocking thing because goddamn he doesn't /like/ it being used on him but it'd be useful when he gets back home)

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

What can you say about this argument? It is not the first time I have met the opinion that Aang does not understand and does not know the culture of his people, and therefore his communication with Katara in TSR is hypocritical and childish.

https://www.tumblr.com/katara-stan-club/729249409205944320/i-saw-someone-make-the-argument-that-aang-is-not

*sighs eternally* Not that moron and their awful "arguments" again.

"Aang has a child's understanding of his culture"

And what about it? In case you haven't noticed, he IS a child. You think Zuko doesn't have a teenager's understanding of his own culture, of the war itself, etc? And that Katara's view of her culture has not changed, and will continue to change, as she grows older?

Not to mention, "mentaliy shared by most adults, but by basically none of the kids" doesn't immediately translate to "correct mentality." Again, just look at Zuko.

At 13 he spoke out against a room full of generals, and in front of his very abusive father who is also the absolute monarch, in defense of the soldiers they were about to betray and let the enemy slaughter. He knew his nation was killing innocents left and right and he WAS taught to see that as normal and even good, but he, a child, had assumed this "cruel, but justified" behavior would never extend to their own people as that would be cruel and unncessary .

At 16 however, he has almost fully internalized the idea that "If the Fire Lord says something must be done, then he is correct, because he is the Fire Lord and he can't ever be wrong", hence him betraying Iroh, who is not only not from the Fire Nation but also HIS UNCLE, and calling him a fool for not helping him and Azula take Ba Sing Se for Ozai - ya know, Iroh's younger brother that stole his crown and burned his nephew in front of him?

"Children often doesn't see the things the same way adults do" is a neutral statement that does not imply either side is fully or even partially correct. This is a completely pointless "argument" to hate on Aang.

"The show didn't challenge Aang's childlike assumption that forgiveness would magically fix everything"

Yes, it did. It's funny how zutarians go on and on about TSR as an episode, yet NEVER remember anything about the ending of said episode, expect for Zuko and Katara hugging.

Aang did initially assume that forgiving that awful man would be what Katara would need to move on he caused her. It makes sense not only considering the airnomads were pacifists, but also that forgiveness seems to be what personally works for Aang - which IS realistic, because while that doesn't work for everyone, it is absolutely how some people find closure.

However, Avatar was one of the few kid shows that EXPLICITLY said "Violence is always not the answer, but that doesn't mean you always have to forgive everyone who has ever hurt you." Katara and Zuko realize that killing Yon Rha would just traumatize her even more, and Aang realized that forgiveness isn't always a necessary step to recover - hence him not having a problem with Katara saying "I didn't forgive him. I'll never forgive him."

And The Southern Raiders wasn't the only episode that challenged Aang's perspective on never taking lives - the finale was all about him coming to terms with the fact that he would have to kill Ozai, as there was no other way to stop him from destroying the world. It is very clear that, if the Lion Turtle had not shown up, Aang would have done it.

The show IS embracing nuance. It IS saying "Sometimes, there is no other way to solve such a conflict - but if you DO find a different solution, go with that."

Zutarians keep trying to act like they're taking apart a bad message that says things are always either black or white, no grey areas ever, when in reality they are just exposing how a goddamn Nickelodeon show is too complicated for them to wrap their heads around, and thus they really need to stick to shows that are for even younger audiences otherwise they'll continue to be confused and enranged by completely mundane things nearly every narrative has.

[wonderousmonarch]

stealing this idea from @ghostaddictgremlin

live(ish) reactions to Kamen Rider Wizard

Episode 1

- shadow wizard money gang

- magic and science lived in harmony... until the fire nation attacked

- birb

- I love how polite his magic is. like yes you may summon a bike out of nowhere

- love it when cops are useless against the demons

- John magic has appeared

- Kamen Rider guns are so funny. bro pulled the thingamajig out of his ass

- this suit design fucks

- he's so fucking cool. one million sauce points

- what is this, some kind of Kamen Rider Wizard?

- I love the way it says "please"

- hehehe evil woman :)

- leave it to the cop to arrest the one person who can do a damn thing against these monsters

- this police station looks familiar, has it been used before?

- I see, the trauma flashbacks

- I love him he's kinda sick nasty with it

- wuh oh

- donut time :)

- damn that shit just broke through the ground

- Makoto Nijima is that you

- let bro eat his damn donuts

- SMALL??? I love this magic so much

- Shabadoobie touch to henshin...

- he's very Dante Devil May Cry in the best way possible

- "Rowdy Kids get grounded" LMAOO

- I love how acrobatic he is, he's sick as fuck

- LOCK IN RINKO

- did they just get married

- oh his bike can control dragons, of course

- she still has the ring? did they actually get married?

Episode 2

- eepy boy

- I love these little robots they're adorable

- LMAO bro went night night

- wuh oh shady government organization time (the NSA)

- hate it when the pretty girl im talking to jumps off a roof mid conversation

- "bro said Alakazam" damn 8 year old kids really are brutal

- this one has a much more forward approach

- god I love the way he moves while fighting

- also goddamn the music in this series goes so hard

- BIG HAND :O

- gay donuts

- no one understands the trauma he had to go through to get magic

- haruto locked the fuck in and it gave him magic powers

- that happened to me last week

- bro is full of whimsy and happiness and the Phantoms hate him for that

- huh.?? he's got magic powers fr fr????

- haruto really went through the most traumatic event of his life and all he got was a belt that goes "Shabadoobie"

- I like cop girl. she may be a fed but she's kinda the goat

- the cuntiest wizard of them all

- DAMN the fucking trickshot

Episode 3

- oh boy oh boy what whimsical shenanigans are we in for today

- she took his fucking donuts

- of course this nerd instantly uses his powers to show off to children

- I hope cop girl doesn't get any magic and sticks to the .45 that would be so funny

- my finger that shoots fire

- that tv guy is 100% the villain

- LET HARUTO EAT HIS FUCKING DONUTS >:(

- the phantom is totally convincing him he's magic

- more like stupei, ace defective

- big phoenix fan he's such a silly goose

- flashlight ring

- oh my god they're going to embarrass him on live TV

- THE SLEEP RING CAME IN CLUTCH

- wait he's also revealing himself life on TV? is he stupid?

- the despair got his ass

- they're throwing hands on national television

- the fucking flashbang ring

- water :0

- he's got the type advantage

- soul hackers....

- goofy aah walk cycle

- big shoe lmao

- Lmao the shoulder rubs

- no one lets haruto eat his fucking donuts what the hell

tldr let Haruto eat his damn donuts. he's hungry after a long day of being the cuntiest wizard alive

[queenlua]

ugh religion/politics venting

* today i read the latest in the depressingly long series of incidents in the saga of, "the Southern Baptist Convention simping for the goddamn child molesters/enablers in their own church." i know i'm phrasing that in the maximally inflammatory way; i don't care. it's not like there's a whole fucking gross awful history here or anything

anyway i have felt bizarrely emotional about it, for someone who left that church over a decade ago and has no strong attachment to it otherwise. i guess it's like, i read that article and thought to myself "jfc, where are people even going nowadays, like, if your church's senior leadership sucks that much you gotta leave, right." and i was sort of tempted to call up some of my old church-y friends and ask "ok where are you going now," but... (1) hahaha a lot of my church-y friends left all churches whatsoever a long time ago, and (2) the ones who remain, like, i'm not close enough to them to ask, right? if i called them and randomly asked them intrusive questions about their Religious Organization Feelings, they would peg me as the obnoxious chick who left to go become a coastal liberal elite and now is being a dick to them. and i mean i wouldn't be trying to be a dick but i would be being awfully nosy and presumptuous, right

anyway, my wondering about that sent me down a whole rabbithole of "which congregations are actually growing in the US nowadays anyway," and while it's gratifying to see that the SBC shrinking, i don't exactly love the growth of pentecostalism in its place, right, seeing as "pentecostal brainworms" is at least partially responsible for like 50% of my trans friends getting kicked to the fucking curb by their parents the second they Deviated From The Script. so, y'know, fuck that

i did learn that the "free will baptist" denomination skews surprisingly young and, wow, what a kickass name for a denomination. i know nothing else about them but i hope they're as cool as the image in my head

...anyway, all that idle research didn't really do much to assuage how fucking weirdly furious i am over the SBC. like, i sincerely think the SBC mostly sucks and hasn't been redeemable pretty much ever, but it was also a cultural juggernaut in my youth, and one sort of hopes one's cultural juggernauts might find some way to reform into something humane, or at least fade away with grace. it's somehow secondhand humiliating and depressing to see it devolve into what i knew was always there at its core: gross old men power-tripping and protecting their own and never never never coming down on the side of anything that felt good and right in my heart of hearts

* unrelated but since i'm being unvirtuous and Politicsing On Main anyway:

every goddamn thing i've read out of netanyahu's mouth makes me want to punch his stupid face in until his skin is paste and the paste is mush and the mush is fine little bits of organic matter to feed the soil. and still the dude will not have suffered enough. not to be former-southern-baptist or anything but: i hope keeping your precious status & deliberately inflaming the most brainpoisoned rightoids in your nation & all that other shit is worth the fires of hell that await you after buddy!!!!

i don't have a Sophisticated Take on the israel/gaza stuff, but. at the end of the day i have cultivated a caveman's sense of morality, as a reaction to my tendency to over-intellectualize, and that caveman's sense of morality imo has served me pretty well, for instance: when The Big Guy is beating the everloving shit out of The Small Guy, the thing that is happening is fucked and i don't care who started it, it's gotta stop well before, i dunno, "bombing the shit out of a bunch of kids" for fucking starters. this works for an awful lot of Big Guy vs Small Guy scenarios. try it sometime

(i hate that i even remotely feel the urge to caveat it this way but to be clear: bibi & his homicidal campaign != judaism. judsaism rules, antisemitism is bullshit. but no more fucking more kids dying in a stupid campaign, ceasefirenow etc)

[oneatlatime]

The Waterbending Scroll

We start this post off with the unnerving DVD art for this disc:

I call this look "nothing but bangs"

My collection of wallpapers is ever-growing.

Makes sense that Aang would be stressed. Objectively speaking, trusting the salvation of the world to a twelve year old who is at best going to have a beginner's understanding of three out of four of his superpowers is a bad idea! It's just about the worst possible idea. Too bad it's apparently the only one that will work. Sokka even points out (with delightful sarcasm) how nonsensical the whole thing is, but does anyone have any better ideas?

Appa living the dream.

Iroh has big dumbass energy here. He'd have to be deluded to genuinely think that getting a game tile is more important than capturing the avatar, which makes me think that he's not that keen on capturing the avatar after all.

"I'm lucky to have such an understanding nephew" immediately after Zuko breathes actual fire. Which I did not know he could do. I will say, plenty of wilful misinterpretation and misreading of reactions is necessary when dealing with teenagers. Once again making me think that Iroh has been looking after (wrangling) Zuko for a while.

I take it back, this is Appa living the dream.

Katara's tendency to baby Aang coming back to bite her in the long run. Raise your hand if you didn't see that coming.

Good thing they were practising bending water, not fire or earth. I guess you can be sloppy with water and air, but the other two?

A blep! An Appa blep!

And there go the supplies. What was that I was saying about it's a good thing he wasn't practising the more harmful elements?

Guy on the left has only one arm and one eye. Either the guy on the right is tiny or that's a giantess.

Water tribe scam artist?

So after setting up that they have basically zero money, the first thing Aang & company do is go trinket shopping. That's peak teenage behaviour.

"You guys are pirates!" Took you long enough.

All of these pirates have such great designs. I want the lead pirate's hat.

KAtara you DIDN'T.

Cabbage Guy! Hi Cabbage Guy! Unlike in Omashu, that actually is malicious destruction of cabbages.

I think there are three pirates shown here, but I originally thought that the legs high up belonged to the guy in the grey shirt, which would have been bad. They're facing entirely the wrong direction.

A badass line. Too bad about the pose.

Confirmed: a modern Katara would totally be that girl at the mall stealing earrings from Claire's.

Aang says that those pirates were terrible, but they actually weren't until they discovered that their scroll had been stolen. They behaved like merchants until Katara gave them a reason to behave like pirates.

This is going to be an episode where the problems are self-inflicted, isn't it?

No! Stealing a scroll from pirates isn't great! You've already got the fire nation on your tail, and at least they want Aang alive. Now you've got pirates too. You think they have a no killing code?

I am 100% with Sokka on this one. They're going to be at the North Pole in a few weeks anyway. They can both learn all the forms they want to there, with actual living teachers as a bonus.

I was right. Incoming problems of Katara's own making. Also the pirates could tell that Katara was water tribe. Further weight to my theory that the fire nation has a high incidence of colour blindness. Or fashion blindness.

And now we get selfish, jealous Katara as well as thief Katara. Sokka 100% in the right again: she is only interested in teaching herself, to the point where she's happy to endanger herself, her brother, and the goddamn Avatar to get hold of a lesson plan.

Add bitch to jealous, selfish, thief. You made Aang all sniffly. Somehow I think her scroll resolution is not going to stick.

Zuko using his brain again. Good reasoning. And right - they are on the water.

Nooooooooo. You are better than this. Girl stop it!

Zuko pulling out his best panto villain act. Also the colouration of his scar in the night scenes is odd. It's almost lilac.

He's technically right. Zuko did not steal that necklace. Unlike Katara, who does steal things.

Sokka 100% right for the third (fourth?) time this episode. It IS just a matter of time before Katara gets them all into trouble. That time is now.

Do you think if Sokka had kept his mouth shut, they wouldn't have kidnapped him? Was that a pity kidnap?

Yes it completely is her fault! No 'kind of' about it!

Sokka's brain and motormouth saving the day. I feel like that's a running theme.

This fight is cool. Seems like, if you know what you're doing, a bunch of nonbenders can fight firebenders on even footing.

A lot of convenient rope sawing going on.

This is a classic gag but it's funny every time.

Sokka fulfilling his quota of required minimum number of beatings per episode. I swear there must have been a rule in the writers' room that no episode may be considered complete until such time as Sokka has concussion damage.

Also it kind of feels off that Aang & company defeat the pirates so easily while on the pirate ship. They had to run away from them in the market, and these guys go toe to toe with firebenders. Don't you think they would do well when fighting on their own turf?

Is this from Top Gun? I haven't seen Top Gun, but this feels Top Gun-ish.

Second episode in a row that they owe their lives to Appa.

Zuko's "My Boat!" was near-operatic.

I'm calling it: Iroh is deliberately obstructing the hunt for the avatar and deliberately undermining Zuko.

Honestly, reasonable reaction from Zuko. Actually a bit of an under reaction. I would have saved the breathing fire for here.

Did the parrot lizard drown? Last I saw he was stuck in the flag on the mast, and he isn't floating down the river afterwards with the rest of the pirates.

Katara is right to apologise to Aang. But she should have apologised to Sokka too.

Katara finishes off this episode by learning literally the opposite of the lesson she should have learned. The lesson should be: stealing can be justifiable (she does have more claim to that scroll than the pirates do), but not in cases where it endangers yourself or others. The lesson Katara takes is: stealing is wrong, unless it's stealing from literally the most dangerous people you can find.

Final Thoughts

This episode was frustrating. Katara was a colossal idiot, who turned into a selfish thieving idiot, who turned into a self-centred thieving idiot with no sense of self-preservation or concern for her friend's and brother's life, and then she took a hard left into being a bitch as well.

Now, I remember being a teenager. I had my bitch moments too. But when someone rightly called me on them, I stopped. I think Katara's portrayal in this episode is a very realistic depiction of a certain kind of teenage girl. My problem is two-fold: a) I couldn't stand that kind of teenage girl, and b) Katara just keeps going. Sokka calls her out for her behaviour, she keeps going. She freaks out at Aang and makes him all sniffly, she has a two second long attack of conscience and then she keeps going anyway. She gets captured by a combined force of fire nation and pirates, the two biggest threats they've faced so far, and she just keeps going. And the joke that ends the episode shows that she's learned nothing.

I think I've said before (probably when I was talking about imprisoned) that Katara seems like she's used to having Sokka do her thinking and planning for her. I think this episode shows that too. Katar thought of herself, and herself only for 90% of this episode. That's not something Sokka does. I think that, being the only waterbender in the whole south pole, Katara is used to, if not being spoiled, then certainly being the centre of attention. And Sokka is used to looking after her and cleaning up after her plans (the literal cleaning seems to have been Katara's job), which means that he's way more used to thinking of the big picture, and Katara has never had to think beyond herself and her wants and needs. She wants the scroll, she takes it, fully aware that it will get them in trouble (why else was she pushing to get them off the pirate ship so fast? Vibes are off? No Katara, you're off). Sokka's immediate reaction to finding out she took the scroll is to bring up how much danger she has put them ALL in. Sokka sees big picture; Katara sees Katara.

Katara is lucky too that Zuko is apparently the kind of firebender that believes in non violence, and that these pirates are the Disney version. They had her tied to a tree all night and she apparently spent a considerable portion of that time spouting defiance. I'm wondering if Katara knows what genre of story she's in. Or maybe she's just that naive?

I was wondering if they would eventually touch on power/skill imbalances within our main cast, and I'm glad they did. In a way, Sokka has it easier than Katara, because as a non-bender, he's never going to get compared to Aang by himself or others. Plus, he's just not the kind of person who would do that. He's got that weird teenage boy contradictory combination of big ego + low self-esteem, so he's going to talk a big game (see Warriors of Kyoshi) but he's never going to think of himself as being in the same league as Katara. Katara, on the other hand, absolutely would at some point end up in competition with the only other bender she's ever met, even if they bend different elements. I'm glad they touched on it, but if this is the way they touch on it, I'll be very happy if they never touch on it again.

I did not know firebenders could breathe fire. Is the skin in their throat fireproof? And their nose? I bet they have crazy spice tolerance.

Something deeper is going on with Iroh. That goofy old man act is just that - an act. Kind of mean to string Zuko along like that though.

Sokka shines as the voice of reason over and over in this episode. Too bad no one listens to him at any point. Sokka is grounded in a way Aang and Katara aren't. They would be screwed without him.

The self-inflicted nature of this episode's plot is realistic, but annoying. What Katara did this episode is absolutely something an idealistic yet selfish teenage girl with anger issues would do. Especially so when you consider her in context - this may be the first waterbending artifact she's ever seen. But consider: if Katara hadn't stolen from the pirates, the pirates wouldn't have been after them, the pirates wouldn't have discussed a water tribe girl and a bald monk in front of Zuko, who was in such a rush to get back to avatar hunting that he likely wouldn't have asked a ship of pirates if they had seen the Avatar, which means Zuko & crew wouldn't have been after Aang either. Aang & company would have been down one waterbending scroll, but also down not one, but two enemies on their tail. Of course it all worked out in the end; this is a kids' show, but this plot is an entirely self-inflicted (Katara-inflicted) problem. Imprisoned was one of those too, come to think of it.

Aang has a rather lax policy on theft for someone who's supposed to be a mystical peace-bringer.

And I really do want the lead pirate's hat.

[hella1975]

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii bestie, i dunno if you like The Crane Wives, like the rock band, but as of late i simply cannot get them out of my goddamn head. And then, i had an epiphany: so many of these songs exude major zukka vibes. Like not in the way youd think, probably, because in my head they're about the very specific Zuko who is just like. So tired and done with life in a very specific flavor and just having very funky ideas about love and caring for another person. So idk if this will even make sense to you, but i figured that A) you have immaculate music taste so i think itd be cool to see what you think of this band B) your thoughts about zukka are always interesting as hell so like, even if you vehemently disagree with my claims i would wholeheartedly enjoy to see what you think of my ideas, seriously, you're so cool, id love to hear about you

Anyways the songs are:

Curses

Down the River (this is actually not zukka at all, it's just Zuko, whos incredibly adept at dealing with consequences)

Allies or Enemies

The Moon Will Sing (again, not really zukka, i think i just have Zuko on the brain, to me this has so much potential for his dynamic with his father) and also, Once and for All too

Easier oh my god easier is such a song

Tongs and Teeth

and Metaphors (not the vibes of the song tbh but like, just the lyrics)

And well yeah this was just a thought that hit me, idk if asks like this are really up your alley so totes dont feel pressured to cook up some elaborate response or even respond at all, i just wanted to talk about a great band and uh. Yeah, thank you so much for being just so incredibly cool and you and earnest, like, silly comment, but you genuinly make my days so much better, i hope you get better soon and bye bye

(ps. I am loving TAMS so much)

- A Master of Parasocial Relationships Anon

ANON <33333333 ily mwah mwah this relationship is parasocial from me to you not the other way around dont ever get it twisted i adore you this ask made me smile so big. 'thank you so much for being just so incredibly cool and you and earnest' quite honestly such a belter compliment. im shaking.

u are right my music taste is fantastic and as a result i LOVE THE CRANE WIVES YES PLS TALK TO ME ABOUT THEM!!!!!! I LOVE THE EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM!!!!!!! one of my worst traits is that i have loved every single crane wives song ive listed to yet ive never properly deep dived into their music, so i only know like. five songs. yet those songs are some of my faves of all time. she's so logical. BUT! this means you've just given me a load of recs that have zuko/atla/zukka vibes so im ecstatic. esp bc 'the very specific Zuko who is just like. So tired and done with life in a very specific flavor' is soooo tams zuko coded.

i do know some of these recs ofc so here are my thoughts:

curses - the recurring fire related language!!!! every word i say is kindling but the smoke clears when you're around!!! zuko being a very rough-around-the-edges imperfect character but being loved regardless (by sokka). i love how this song is clearly about someone who's haunted by their past but it's still quite peppy, and her VOICE on the 'ashes ashes dust to dust, the devil's after both of us, lay my curses out to rest, make a mercy out of me' HELLO???? it's so desperate and raw im obsessed with it. that line gives me big tams zuko & azula vibes, like on the run from the fire nation/ozai as the 'devil's after both of us' yep yep yep. omg actually this whole song is very them

down the river - your take on this is gorgeous 'very adept at dealing with consequences' he BREAKS my HEART. sure you can forget about all the things you've done but WHAT ABOUT THE REST OF US. i am so over-fixating on tams atm and it shows bc im about to tamsify this and probably all the other recs in some capacity icl. anyway this song as zuko @ ursa. down the river.......

allies or enemies - ZUKKA ANTHEM!!!!! REQUIRED LISTENING FOR ANY ENEMIES TO LOVERS SHIP!!!!! being horrible to each other and having a history of violence are we allies or enemies this will be the death of me ALL IS FAIR IN LOVE AND WAR BUT I CANT FIGHT WITH YOU ANYMORE!! LITERALLY SINGING ABOUT WAR!!!! the crane wives wrote this about zukka genuinely

the moon will sing - one of the most beautiful songs of all time you can interpret this in so many ways the lyrics have me banging my fist against my wall. veryyyyyyyyyy zuko-coded about literally anyone he gets constantly mugged off

tongues and teeth - AGAIN ZUKO CODED!!! when ur a post-redemption asshole but part of your personality is always always going to be abrasive and cutting and you KNOW that. this is such a 'the catharsis of owning and even heightening the thing both you and others hate about yourself in a very angry declaration that barely conceals the insecurity underneath' song and i took it very personally. like yes girl push everyone away first bc you know you're a cunt and it's best to warn them off while they still have an idealised version of you in their head! me and zuko best friends fr we are insufferable

[ultimateplaylistmaker]

Kokichi in DreamSMP sounds fun.

God that has so many variables, I don't think he'd join the lmanberg war for independence and would in fact just start his own nation but its very clearly being played as a joke so it works better then when everyone else did that later on, he does help lmanberg though, he's an ally but hes not fully on their side, he just likes the thought of the underdog upstart winning.

He ABSOLUTELY runs for president though when an election starts, im not sure who he picks as his vice, maybe he picks a horse? yeah he just brings his pet horse to be his vice. He gets a lot of votes for it honestly so not a bad move. I doubt he'd beat schlatt though, i forget how close the polls were (i voted for wilbur) though so maybe?

Since that's far too au for my liking for this concept I'm going to assume he loses like everyone else, he taunts wilbur and tommy as they're exiled but then swings around pogtopia to give them a few supplies and a few lies, usual kokichi chaos. Wilbur does not trust him at ALL but let's be fucking honest Tommy and Kokichi would get along so goddamn well they're both such chaotic gremlins with a secret loyalty side and a strong heart, they absolutely bully the SHIT out of each other but its very much a "hey only i get to call him that" kind of dynamic so Tommy's super thrilled he's here

Unfortunately there isnt much he can really do beyond slip them resources and cause a bit of chaos, especially as he still isnt even a citizen of manberg lmao. I think he pretends like he thinks techno is super cool but actually kinda hates him because lets be real techno is everything kokichi fucking hates, kokichi would hear "'the only universal language is violence" and be like "oh wow so true<3" out loud but internally be like "i hate you i think you are everything wrong with humanity and are a threat to everything i care about we are enemies"

and you know what? based for that, he's so right. If DREAM SMP Techno has no haters then I am dead, common kokichi W

Not much really changes until Tommy's exile because Kokichi IMMEDIATELY claims complete and utter credit for the fire, and so when Dream pushes for Tommy to be exiled, Kokichi tags along, which will proceed to fucking DESTROY all of dream's plans

Kokichi grabs Tommy by the hand and the moment Dream wanders off just proceeds to wander off with Tommy pointing out how he was exiled from lmanberg but he WASNT exiled from the Deceitful Independent Cool Empire so you gotta make a new home there! for your so many wives! they're starving tommy! They need a roof! your wives tommy! your wives! you gotta take care of your wives and you cant do that on this beach!

Even if Tommy protests Kokichi is not taking no for an answer here, he knows Dream's bad news, and so they just go to his country and Tommy is the first player citizen (the rest are random animals and a few villagers) and theres confetti and it's great and Tommy is both so torn between all the fucked up shit happening and his immense love for animals and chaos which is basically what DICE is all about.

Everyone is very confused about what's going on an where they are but no one...actually knows where DICE even is, he never showed it, he just talked about it, Dream is fuming

[antebunny]

thoughts about atla from someone who didn't know any chinese when i first watched it but knows a little chinese now (yes i've seen the netflix live action no this isn't about that)

so yuè 月 means moon in chinese. and guess which character is named Yue. that's right it's the one that turns into the goddamn moon. i bet there were chinese speakers watching this show for the first time thinking "oh haha her name means moon waIT WHAT IS SHE DOING. GIRL GET OUT OF THE POND. OHHHH THEY THINK THEY'RE SO CLEVER."

another one i realized recently: the forest spirit, aka the panda that gets turned into the terrifying black and white monster because the fire nation burned down the forest, is called hei bai. and guess what hēi bái 黑白 means in chinese? black white. they named it BLACK WHITE.

"hey guys what should we name this thing" "uhhh idk nothing really stands out about it"

like imagine if they named aang "orange yellow" or "blue tattoo"

of course, just like yue, atla doesn't use tones for hei bai, so technically hei bai doesn't necessarily mean 黑白. bai could also be, for example, bǎi 百 which means hundred. and Princess Yue, who turns into the actual moon in the goddamn sky, is not necessarily named after the moon. but like c'mon.

anyways there's probably more that i don't know about because i only like 300 words in chinese. but i'm having the time of my life going over my favorite childhood show and realizing the writer's room was laughing at all of us non-chinese speakers all this time.

[autumnmobile12]

I have so many problems with Attack on Titan, but right now I want to talk about the illogical world-building.

Giant creatures who only eat humans and only have one 'Achilles Heel' to take them out. Got it.

And you want to fight them with swords?

How did two swords win? They went through the trouble to build a whole, physics defying harness contraption to make them fly?

There were so many other weapons they could have used if they couldn't get to 'the weak spot.'

Step One, discover electricity. Step Two, build a goddamn fence.

Do they breathe? I don't remember, but poisonous gas. (Not in a civilian setting obviously and you'd need a breathing apparatus.)

Invent the flamethrower.

Too much to ask? Fine, here's some less technical solutions:

Caltrops.

Boiling oil poured over the side of the Wall.

Sulfuric acid and other dangerous chemical compounds that will break down organic matter. (There's gotta be a chemist somewhere here.)

Put spikes on the Wall.

Survey Corps all gathered together in a concentrated group to lure the titans in to a trap...coulda used that tactic to dig a pit trap, no?

Set the titans on fire.

Let's also address the fact the Survey Corps was completely useless by existing as the living embodiment of Einstein's definition of insanity. “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” That 'brilliant idea' of Armin's where they travel to Shiganshina at night because the titans are less active..............you're telling me....that in a hundred years...nobody else thought of that?!

The government and public were right; they were a strain on resources and brought little benefit to society. If they wanted to be useful, the purpose of the expeditions should've been more forage/hunting based in order to bring food back to a starving populace. And there would have been food. The people of Wall Maria had to abandon their homes within a twelve hour or less span, so there is no conceivable way everyone could have brought all their livestock with them. Survey Corps could've been protecting civilians as they rounded up lost cattle, pigs, chickens, sheep, etc. And Sasha might’ve gone down in history as the greatest Scout of all time.

Another thing that doesn't add up: the textile industry. With as much land as they had, the pasture land food-clothing ratio was not adequate for the population.

There are not enough cows!

Based on available materials, I assume the ODM harness and boots are made of leather. With the limited space for cattle, that supply could not meet the demand at the rate the Scouts were being killed off. (They were definitely recycling dead people's boots and gear.) That's not even taking into account regular people who need footwear or the countless other things that require leather: saddles and other horse tack, gloves, tools, heavy protective aprons for factory workers or smiths, etc.

Cotton requires a long growing season. Do they have that? Linen comes from flax seed. You'd need space to grow that and flax doesn't have much nutritional use other than soup. Same goes for jute. Wool is a possibility, but is everything made of wool? What about silk? Do they have silk worms? What are the wealthy wearing?

We can probably rule out synthetic and mineral fabrics as I don't think they have the technology.

Natural resources: They use firearms and cannons, which means there has to be a sulfur mine somewhere to make gunpowder. Except naturally-occurring sulfur is most commonly found near volcanic regions. Volcano on that island? Maybe, if sulfur was one of the 'resources' the Marley people were after.

Where are they getting the alcohol? There's a food shortage and no sane nation is going to allow citizens to plant vineyards on land that can be used for crops and they're not going to use grain for beer when it could be used for bread. I get there was corruption in the government, but limited space is limited space.

Another thing I would like to point out is no matter how many times the Founding Titan suppressed knowledge of the outside world, any mathematician with enough determination could have gone rogue and calculated the size of their world. Despite what we were told in kindergarten, people did not 'discover' the earth was round when Columbus 'discovered' America and nobody believed the earth was flat. (He also didn't discover America, but that's not what we're here for.) Ancient Greek mathematician, librarian, astronomer, scholar Eratosthenes of Cyrene determined the circumference of the earth by comparing the sun's position in the sky in relation to two different points on earth.

He was off by 2%.

Why is this important? The old order of the Walls was very much greed-based. When word of exactly how much land (and wealth) they were missing out on got out, the merchant guilds would have had their own coup against the king.

[moki-dokie]

this is especially hilarious for oklahoma tho because there was a whole fucking initiative to bring these stupid motherfuckers in to pretty up everything. one of the few trees that do well here in our batshit climate and have pretty blossoms that last more than a day. so, all across the state, on all govt property that has landscaping, these pieces of absolute shit will be found. which. you know. is literally everywhere that isn't a home or private business property. and then 20 years later suddenly govt officials see exactly what biologists were warning them about like WHAT DO YOU MEAN ALL MALE TREES WILL CAUSE A CATASTROPHIC EFFECT ON POLLEN COUNT AND ALLERGIES?!?!?? (these trees were bred to be sterile. there are no females to pick up the pollen except the rare fruiting pear here and there but these outnumber them like by the thousands if not millions by now) but do they do anything about it? fucking no. because now all of the trees are mature and it would cost a fortune to rip them all up and replace them ESPECIALLY since many of them line roads.

oh and by the way these trees smell like fucking ASS when they bloom. legit some of the stinkiest goddamn trees you'll ever come across. they smell like rotten fish vomit. their wood is incredibly weak and they break often in high wind and ice - which oklahoma is prone to a LOT. they're almost entirely decorative. they will suck up every last drop of water in the dirt and smother forests. no one has more of a hatred for the bradford pear than oklahomans. i think the only tree we might hate more is the eastern cedar.

but the real kicker??? OKLAHOMA HAS ONE OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL FLOWERING TREES IN THE NATION. NATIVE. SAY HELLO TO THE EASTERN REDBUD

but WAIT, there's one that is SPECIFIC to oklahoma (well technically texas but more popular here) because we said fuck it we want MORE MAGENTA

and these babies stay in bloom for like a full month if not more (just depending on how warm the spring gets), actually smell nice, has bisexual flowers and thus there isn't a huge pollen dump from them every year, they are drought resistant and fire resistant (to a degree. as in they don't burn as well as other trees and grow back easily if destroyed), are important nectar sources for pollinators, have much stronger wood, and are a food source for all sorts of wildlife. we had these right here and our elected officials were like "hmmm nah lets bring in the most useless stink trees in existence nothing bad could possibly happen."

anyway. fuck bradford pears.

Nobody throws shade like a biologist with burning hatred for invasive plants

[ultranos]

I really like all of the custom swearing that you've come up with for your pieces, it makes the world feel so real to have unique cultural swears. Do you have any tips for how to come up with that type of thing?

Thanks! @raksha-the-demon and I have fun coming up with them and usually end up tossing a few options around to find the correct-sounding one.

As for advice, most of it is a result of reading a book on the history of swearing in the English language (for the record: Holy Shit: A Brief History of Swearing by Melissa Mohr). One of the key points brought up was that one could tell what a culture held sacred and thought profane by the swears it used. In Europe during the Middle Ages, swears that were religious in nature ("damn", "goddamn", "geeze"...) were unthinkably vile while to our ears, they're some of the most mild swears we have. Instead, if you consider what the "worst" words in modern English are, well...it tells you quite a bit about our society's feelings on sex and cleanliness. And how kids can say "dick" but one of the worst insults is very feminine-coded, which says a lot about society's views on women. (Sex is "dirtier" than actual defecation, and even the vaguest implication of possibly being female is deeply insulting.

And you can infer this by how we treat "fuck", "shit", and "cunt" as swears.)

So taking all that, what we basically do is say "okay, what does this culture consider sacred? What does this culture consider profane?"

To use examples from s&a:

Take the Fire Nation. We can say that the things considered sacred are things relating to fire and the sun. "Flame and ash" is one example. So is "hearthfire". On the other hand, things to do with water or earth are a lot worse. Add in anything to do with the dead and ancestors, and you're talking very strong swears. Because the FN has been at war for so long, those are stronger swears than the fire/sun ones.

So "drown your ancestors" is akin to "you fucking son of a bitch" and "flame and ash" is closer to "gosh darnit" than anything else.

It gets really fun when you jump over to the other nations, because there's been a war on for almost a century! And words and ideas migrate and mutate! So the Water Tribe also has "flame and ash", but to them, fire is not sacred. Fire has been profaned in warfare. So that same "flame and ash"? To a Water Tribesman, that's akin to "fucking shit".

So it's all really just worldbuilding. Think about what the cultures think is important and what the cultures fear or are disgusted by. And then build swears around that. Take cues from real-world languages that take swears from not only religion, but also animals and family/ancestors. And then when you have an idea of the flavor you want, just...say it out loud. See how it feels on your tongue. There's that certain cadence to swears that's just really obvious when you hear it.

[team-heavenly]

A Comprehensive List of Potential Chapter Titles Provided by Me

Thought up at 11 PM. For funsies. This list will be much safer in terms of thematic material (refer to this post and this post). Rated T for swearing, references to (mild) drugs, alcohol.

Are the vast majority of these memes and references? Yes, yes they are. (Bonus points if you can identify where they come from!) But it’s less about creativity than comedic value. So... take this as you will.

There is no official total btw, I’m just listing as many as I can!

Y yo a ti

Do not pass GO, do not collect $200

I won't hesitate, Bitch

IT LOOKS LIKE YOU FUCKERS HAVE COME TO A STANDSTILL AT FOGBOUND LAKE

i Amn just....... a little creachure

None pizza with left beef

lol Get stickbugged

Is this Loss?

Goddammit where's Lucky Luciano?

It's the Great Pumpkin!

Snoopy and the Red Baron

Luke, I am your father

Make it so

Flim-flam shabam

What is love?

Baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no more

HEY NOW, HEEEEY NOW

How can a river catch on fire 12 goddamn times?

*Pink panther theme*

Let's-a go!

LET'S GO LESBIANS LET'S GO!

Let's GO GAMERS!

Why are you like this

Honey You Got A Big Storm Coming

I'm THE KING OF THE WORLD!!

you and what army?

Let's see how far we've come

Have some choccy milk

No, this is Patrick

Carmen Sandiego?

NOOOO MY COOKIE!

To die. To sleep, no more.

What an absolute mad-lad

Looks like you're going to the Shadow Realm, Jimbo

MY EYES!!

mY LEG! MY LEGGGG!

*Roblox death sound*

*Lego Star Wars Death sound*

*Wilhelm Scream*

Some-

-BODY ONCE TOLD ME-

You wanna be sleeping with the fishes, kid?

The U.S.S. Enterprise

Never mind that

And to your left you can see me, ruining everything

If you forgot, then it wasn't important

Calvin and Hobbes

Elmo and friends

Marty! Marty, we have to go back!

I challenge you to a duel!

Pokemon! Gotta catch em all!

It's you and meeee. I know it's my destiny!

Team Rocket is blasting off againnnn!

Ha! You better have burn heal!

I like shorts! They're comfy and easy to wear!

The Top Percentage of Rattata

Take the breadsticks and run

November 5: Destiel Election edition

The 21st Night of September

bRING OUT THE CRABS!

It's over Grovyle, I have the high ground!

69? Nice

Let's have a champion time! *gets pummeled to death*

Falling from cloud 9

The River Styx

Nooo, don't steal the Time Gears, you're so sexy aha

mrow? Mrrrp?

Corphish, those pincers are HUGE

Yeah can I get uhhhh-

White Mocha latte frapiatto espresso triple shot

Good tea. Nice house.

It's Pon Farr night at the Vulcan Nightclub

YOUNG MAN. THERE'S NO NEED TO FEEL DOWN

Back at it again at the Krispy Kreme

Look at this photograph

Cuz Everytime We Touch, I get this feeling

*Cinemasins ding*

I was there, Gandalf...

Do Not Cite the Deep Magic to me Witch

WELCOME TO MOE’SSSS!

Hey this isn't a leaf stone

Are you high?

What in tarnation-

Been up since 2 am

When in Rome...

Do you know what you've just done?

Where's Waldo?

Allergic to sunlight

The imposter......

The Great Glacier

Sky Tower

The Voidlands

Once upon a dream

Holy shit that's so many deer-

LOCUUUUSTS!!

It started to rain!

You! What year is it

*Lightsaber noise*

*Darth Vader breathing noises*

The Riker Maneuver

Now close your eyes...

For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer

What's 8 ÷ 4 + (7 - 2)?

Country roaaaads

Take me home, to the place I belong

WEST VIRGINIAAAAA!

Welcome to the 74th annual Hunger Games!

My name is Jared, 19

YOU LOSE! GOOD DAY, SIR!

Miracle whip

Alcremie

Pecan soup

Operation Yellow

"Do you remember?" "REMEMBER WHAT?!"

I hope you die. I hope we both die.

Hand in unlovable hand

Annnnd there she goes

Now go see a Star War

Cat no banana

Leg-bouncer

42

Are you fucking possessed?!

Japan is a small island nation with limited natural resources

Crazy frog

Episode IV: A New Hope

hsSSSSSS-

Dat you?

Surf's up, dude!

NFTs crashed lol

Shhhh! Quiet! We're in a library

I Will Never Again Be Human (And That's Okay)

Hi my name is Hero and I'm an alcoholic

Pull the lever, Kronk!

WRONG LEVERRR!

Oh, yeah. It's all coming together.

The Macy's Day parade

*Calls Dusknoir babygirl*

Dig it in there, Mr. Spock-

There's coffee in that nebula

ACAB

Save the bees, plant more trees

Pokerus? Haven't heard of her

The Secret to End All Secrets

Fucking hell, dude

IT'S FUCKEN WIMDY!!

Tell me what you want, what you really really want

Level 7

World 5-8

OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!

Arson

I have a Bad Feeling about this

Trust no one, not even yourself

And I'm all out of gum

Shall we dance?

Can't have shit in Apple Woods

Gengar hates u

Dorothy, Sophia, Blanche, and Rose

Let me call an Uber

Warp core breach in 3 minutes

‘Tis but a scratch!

A scratch? Your arm’s off!

The government owes me money

Crying and screaming and throwing up

Comrades!

Take a shot every time someone says "the planet's paralysis"

The Three Sacred Treasures

Lake Bikal

In Soviet Russia-

Capitalism

Communism

Adele's "Hello"

Spyro: Year of the Dragon

Another soulless Marvel film

I Have No Memory (of this place)

The Return of the King

Road work ahead? Uh yeah, I sure hope so

Four Score and Seven Years ago

Y E E T

Sacrificing your rival to the rain gods

Bede is a lil' bitch

BITES YOU BITES YOU BITES YOU-

you're an idiot <3

Bitch u thought

no <3

Top Ten Greatest Hits

Just keep swimming

HERE'SSSSS BRUCYYYY

Are we.... You know.....

Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme

AGH!

XXXXXX

y = mx + b

Pangea

The sacred texts!!

smh

Under the sea

The GAY CAR!!

Father, I Crave Violence

*coughs*

WATCHOO!

Gesundheit

Pass me the aux

Guzma and the real Team Skull

*dies*

Facing God and Walking Backwards into Hell

Sitting on a throne of lies

Aren't you a wiseguy!

The Future Trio is GAAAAAY!!

Drop the Mic!

Wherefore art thou Dusknoir?

TFW Decoy Orb gets reflected onto you

Blorbo from my shows

Dugtrio's a terrible dad

Developing PTSD

You know! For kids!

This is so sad, Chatot play Despacito

Unown J

Bro I just Live Here

CITIZENS ARREST! CITIZENS ARREST!

Throwing Gravelerocks in glass houses

It is..... Green

Wonder Gummis galore!

For every Roselia, there is an Iron Thorn

Ingo?!

Garlic. Butter, even.

Space. The Final Frontier.

IT BURNSSSS

Not in front of the Klingons

*points at Dusknoir* GAY

Qwerty

uwu

Apocalypse Now

Lemon-lime soda

The Dimensional Scream Strikes Again

It's Drifloon Friday!

Apricorn Balls

War is War and Hell is Hell

Out of Touch Thursday

Jesse. Jesse we have to-

Mecha Tyranitar

You Get Framed in a Witch Hunt

The Gang Goes to Therapy

Freudian slip

Occam's razor

Murphy's Law

Do Androids dream of electric Mareep?

Sleep deprivation

Well... Wynaut?

The Deplorable Word

Turkish Delight

I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me

Ah Shit, Here We Go Again

Into the Woods (2015)

Zero Isle West, 72F

The wildest Crossover AU

Lemonade IS NOT SPRITE, DAMMIT!

ROYGBIV

ERROR 404

Volo Breaks the Dimensions (because he can)

Q

Remember to take your meds

Hydrate or diedrate

Super Smash Bros. for the Wii U

Leroy Jenkinsssss

Fuck this, I'm outta here

We don't get paid enough for this

SHOOP DA WHOOP!!

Fuck it, Nyan Cat in 2020

I’MMA FIRING MY LAZOR!

Au revoir!

Spinda's cafe gets robbed

Boop! Got your nose!

Time Gears? In my possession?

Fire types rule, water types drool

Let's take ibuprofen together

Gouger

This is Not a Place of Honor

Arceus yeets you into Hisui

These Ginsengs don’t do shit

I AM THE SAND GUARDIAN, GUARDIAN OF THE SAND

Texas

Florida man

Jake, from State Farm

Never Eat Soggy Waffles

Can we be honest?

Oops! I did it again

Kilograms of glitter

Lil Nas X

Getting Friendzoned

LIPSTICK IN MY VALENTINO WHITE BAG?!

7-11

And there is no Queen of England

Make sure to like and subscribe!

The Down with Cis bus

*ploink*

It’s puce

Am I alive or barely breathing?

Just so you know...

Primal Dialga tramples you to death

*Minecraft villager noise*

The Llevan Polka

Futurama

I’d have two nickels

Salt n’ Vinegar

*distant screaming*

Everybody dance now!

E = Mc^2

Spooky scary skellingtons

But y tho?

Fist bump!

The Hindenberg

Did you know? A Wailord is less dense than air!

I am a Gummy Bear

...To be continued...

Go Imagine those Dragons

Don’t forget to floss!

Just take the L, dude

Trans your gender

Uhhhhh...

Shoving your sins under the rug

Going to Purgatory

Lemme think about it- NO

The One With the Whales

Fallout: New Vegas

Annnnd that’s all, folks.

[princess-of-the-corner]

Okay so, question: How would "The Siege of the North" play out in the Avatar!Ty Lee AU?

Ahahahahahaha YES I told y'all I would hurt you with a certain Canon line and here we are!

So! Am I starting out with more Azula and Yue? Yes! Yes I am!

They're doing that awkward 'yeah we're in love but you're engaged and this probably wouldn't have worked anyway' thing. But still very much in love with each other despite being 'just friends'.

Also! Fun fact: I adore a headcanon I saw floating around where Fire Nation proposals involve a hand-carved knife! So imagine the vibes of Azula giving Yue a knife. "Aren't you tired of being nice? Don't you want to go apeshit?"

They're having cute but awkward moments together when oh hey black smoke in the sky. Goddamn it the Fire Nation is here to fuck shit up again.

Of course when asked who all is willing to fight, our entire Gaang is down to volunteer. They're already in this, and they plan to see it through. (Ofc our girls of the Gaang stare down anyone who dares to suggest a woman shouldn't fight).

Aang and Ty Lee head out first on Appa, since they're the most mobile and can at least scout out the situation and take down some of the Fire Nation's ships

We also get Yue's actual fiancé, Hahn, being an absolute dick. And the rest of the Gaang just roasts his outdated info on the Fire Nation because damn like. 85 year old uniform? Really? That's your idea? Hahn manages a snarky 'of course /you/ would know' before Chief Arnook breaks it up and tells Hahn to listen to them since they've been on the frontlines for a while, and get up to speed before continuing with the plan.

This lasts long enough to get the plan together before Hahn decides to be an asshole again by discussing the 'perks' of marrying Yue, and poking fun at the rest of them and some standard sexism about the girls fighting, so on and so forth.

The extra boiling point that turns it into a fight is when Hahn reveals the fact that half the Gaang are actually Fire Nation themselves. This fact was kept quiet, only to the Chief, his family, and high council members. Because it might cause issues and distrust to have them here even if they say they're on their side.

Which. Is somewhat what happens. While most of the troops go 'hey even if they were Fire Nation, they've defected from the country, are helping us, and are with the goddamn Avatar so obviously it isn't a trick', there is that unease.

As a result, they're all taken off the frontlines and off the stealth mission. But Chief Arnook gives them a different mission: Protect the inner city. Most of the troops will be at the city walls, with those who can't fight are deeper in the city in the more protected buildings. If the fighting gets past the walls, or if the Fire Nation pull off a stealth mission of their own, they're the line of defense.

He does also mention his more selfish reasons. That he wants them to protect Yue in particular. We have Azula sticking by Yue, who is in the group with Katara, Aang and Ty Lee. Everyone else stations themselves nearby the inner city, keeping an eye out.

Aang and Ty Lee end up coming up with the 'hey, maybe we can get the Spirits to help us!' thing. Because 1.) they're the Avatar, so Spirits should help them and 2.) even Spirits that don't have a stake directly in this conflict, should know that winning this battle will help to Balance the world.

Yue takes them to the Spirit Oasis, where we get the discussion on how to talk to the Spirits. Ty Lee's kinda jokingly like "Hey now for once I'm the useless one with the Avatar Shit™ since Spirits only listen to Aang anyway!"

It works and Aang enters the Spirit World. That whole mess goes about the same. Meeting with Koh the Face Stealer, learning that the Ocean and Moon Spirits are the koi fish, etc.

But when Aang gets back, everything has gone to shit. We're at the point where Zhao and his men are attacking the Oasis. Katara, Azula, and Ty Lee are fighting like hell, but they're outnumbered. Plus they're too focused on protecting Aang and Yue to notice that Zhao was going after the fish instead.

Zhao grabs the Moon Spirit and Waterbending cuts out. Leading to Katara being taken out of the fight, Aang and Yue getting the headache of reacting to the Moon Spirit's distress, and Ty Lee being down an Element. Ty Lee, Aang and Azula are still ready to fight, plus the rest of the Gaang has been sprinting full tilt to get here when they saw shit going fucky.

It should be a more even fight, but with Zhao holding the Moon Spirit hostage.....

Zhao goes on his whole rant about glory and being the 'Moonslayer', while everyone tries really hard to talk him down from being stupid.

That goes about as well in Canon. He kills the Moon Spirit. And between him no longer having his hostage, and fury at the audacity of what he just did? The whole group goes feral.

We get an especially pissed off Iroh for a hot minute here which sends Zhao running. Sokka, Zuko, and Mai all bolt after him.

Ty Lee and Aang are in sync with their rage. Flickering into the Avatar State already. Before they go full force, Aang drags Ty Lee into the water and they join power with the Ocean Spirit.

You know how I jokingly called them in the Avatar State 'Drift Compatible'? This is exactly why. They go full fuckin Pacific Rim.

Back at the Oasis, we get the reveal of Yue having some of the Moon Spirit's life in her. And Iroh somberly telling her that it might be their only chance to fix this, but.....

Azula snaps for a moment. This is fucked! Yue has already given up a lot in the name of her people, and now she's expected to give up her life too? No! Fuck that! She shouldn't have to become something she's not just because 'she is their Princess and her people 'need her' to'! Fuck 'royal obligations', fuck 'what's expected of her', and especially fuck sacrificing anything else!

Yue just smiles sadly. Tells her this isn't about duty or obligation or what anyone else wants from her. She is willing to face anything, even death, even eternity, if it means those she loves will be safe.

A final kiss goodbye, and Yue is gone.

Azula is still for a moment. Shock. Then fury. Burning anger making her move.

She's going after Zhao herself. And while Iroh tries to talk her out of revenge, she doesn't listen.

Azula finds the others still fighting Zhao. A three-on-one battle that he is very much losing.

Sokka, Mai and Zuko can see the anger off of her. The almost unhinged attacks. They notice the Moon is back in the sky. THey don't know what happened, but they know that they had better get the hell out of her way.

Before Azula can do much to Zhao, the Ocean Spirit shows up to drag him down. Though she feels robbed of her own vengeance, Azula can live with that ending. The Ocean Spirit lost its partner that night too.

The battle is over. Everyone tries to pick up the pieces.

Everyone handles this with varying reactions. But Azula is still angry. Lashing out at anyone and everyone who tries to approach her. Picking fights just to get out some of the aggression still in her system.

Eventually, Zuko approaches her on his own. Because as upset as she is, she won't snap at him like she does at the others.

They're quiet for a moment. Not acknowledging. Not talking. Just... existing.

Azula: "My first girlfriend turned into the Moon."

Zuko, unsure what else to say: "That's rough, buddy."

It's unexpected. And it makes her laugh. The laughter quickly turns to sobs, having finally hit the breaking point for goddamn everything they've been through.

[flannelepicurean]

Okay, so...

One of the reasons I'm so goddamn bonkers about heritage apple varieties of the South (which I think I owe @werechicken an infodump about) is because of exactly this.

I'm a trans man from North Carolina. Both sides of my family, I'm two generations removed from sharecropping farms. I've got a cast iron pan that belonged to my great-grandmother and has been seasoned with the makings of probably thousands of pones of cornbread. My grandmother on my father's side was functionally illiterate, but she had so many skills in her working hands and her mind, she just knew how to DO THINGS, because...you gotta.

My grandfather on my mom's side is an old hippie, AND a true Man of the Land. When I was a wee young'un, he taught me about foraging, in the woods, in the yard, in the city. All over. He'd point out trees and bushes and weeds on the ground, and tell me how to eat what lived around me. How to tell when dandelion greens would be too bitter for a salad, stuff like that. And he taught me about the sanctity of nature, about doing little things like singing in gazebos along trails just to hear how they echo, just the beauty that's out there and inside, too.

My mom's mom is a Bible-thumping believer. And probably also bipolar, like me. She gets carried away, away, away. She can't hear music and not move. She weeps easily, when she feels things. The blast of color that is life in the world corporeal brings her to tears, and I think that makes her feel God in her soft matter and airy bones.

I'm fascinated, FASCINATED, by so many things, in the place that I'm from. From the way music comes up from people's guts and hollows when they sing about the places they've been, the places they're in, the places they're going whether they wish to or no. The way voices resonate like organ pipes. People open their throats when they sing. I'm fascinated by the fact that we say things in my family like, "Smells like snow," when the air takes a particular olfactory turn in the winter. By the fact that, in the summer, when the sopping-wet heat is just right, the moist places under the bowed-down grass radiate a smell like warm Jiffy corn muffins, the kind that are full of sugar. The bright, brick-orange earth in the Piedmont region. The powdery, cement-gray sand on the coast that squeaks underfoot right as you step onto the beach, before it gets wet enough to cling.

And the FACTS. The fact that NC has a big slice of the Southern Appalachian zone that has the greatest biodiversity of salamanders IN THE WORLD. Just...so many of them. It's truly wild. And the Benjamin Long Blue Ridge Fresco Trail, a series of churches in the mountains where one of the few modern masters of fresco art created religious paintings in the wet plaster of walls and ceilings of rugged old buildings. And gosh, just the mountains. Those rolling, rambling mountains that come out bursting with bright leaves like a slow fire on the hillsides in the fall.

And it's apple country up there. Henderson County, NC, produces the bulk of our apples. If Henderson County was a state, it would rank No. 8 in the nation for apple production. Currently, North Carolina ranks No. 7 in the U.S. Most of our commercial apples get processed into other items like juice and applesauce.

But.

Some time ago, I ran across this article, about a retired chemical engineer living within shouting distance of where I was born, who started an ongoing quest of finding old varieties of apples, thought extinct or lost to time and the wilds, of bringing greater diversity to the varieties available, and also simply the idea - “How neat would it be to find an apple nobody’s tasted in 50 or 100 years?”

Tom Brown is an apple hunter - there's a whole society of folks who do this, who go up the backwoods through old farmland and woods and scrubby brush, barns and backyards and all sorts, based on clues and hearsay and information gleaned from folks around and about, to find a few, a couple, a single tree. And they take seeds, cuttings, bring them back to the nurseries and orchards, and they bring. The trees. Back. And now, for example, we have a state Historic Site with a dedicated heritage apple orchard with ALL THESE APPLES (scroll down for list, it’s a good thing they are grouped, because there are OVER 400). And you can taste these apples, that haven’t been tasted in decades, perhaps a century, reach back in time, reach into the land and pull from the earth and the sun and the water something good.

I gave up my beliefs, any attachment to belief, nearly 20 years ago, and I am much more at peace since then. But I adore symbolism. I love magic as a concept, and I love storytelling, and I love magical realism probably most of all. That kind of, “Watch out you don’t step sideways just right, or you might end up somewhere just a tad bit strange,” and yet, “Well, things are a tad bit strange anyhow, but we get along alright,” kind of magic. And I love beauty, and how many forms it wears, and brings. And I recognize the holy and the sacred, regardless of the divine.

Some things do make me want to go down in the river to pray, even if I don’t really know what that means, anymore. When I’m feeling overwhelmed, I dream of wandering into the woods in the gloaming, lying down in a little divot in the loam, letting wet leaves pile over me, and just disappearing for a while in the light of the moon, among trees and stones. When the sun starts to hit just right on a summer morning, and it’s for sure gonna be a hot one and damned-all humid, but the yard smells like warm tomato vines and the okra blossoms are spiraling open, it makes me smile. And sometimes when it rains, I feel red clay in my skin and the muscle of my limbs, and right down to my bone marrow, and I want to sing with an open throat.

there needs to be more content specifically aimed at people who grew up in the middle of rural bumfuck nowhere who love the shitty worn down rusty pickup truck unclean gas station bigfoot sighting 200 degree weather dirt-eating redneck vibe of it all without the whole homophobic white christianity thing