#when they’re living in grams’ house <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[asexual-juliet]

this is canon and i’m not taking constructive criticism. jack helped pick the songs (@nbvethbrenatto definitely knows at least one in particular) but jen was much more dedicated to the project and decorated the tracklist herself <3 this is the soundtrack to their first summer together and they listen to it so many times that the tape starts to wear out by september.

[playlist link here <3]

[incorrectcreepypastafam]

Creepypasta As DanAndPhilGAMES Quotes After The Revival

Toby: I’ve graduated into fuckland

Jeff: just stop speaking

Toby: okay

Toby: soft launching the gay

Jeff: I’m gonna hard launch you out of that window

Liu: know what I mean?

Jeff: no

Jeff: is it hard for you to speak sometimes

Lyra: did that work

Jeff: not really

Lyra: I tried really hard

Jeff: what is the most emo clothing we got here

Jeff: my brother, WELCOME TO THE BLACK PARADE

Lyra: look at this magnificent bitch

Brian: communities that shit together stay together

Jeff: I will try to be normal

Tim: where’s your mind at

Toby: where’s your mom at

Toby: and now I’m wet in this suit

Lyra: uhhhhhhhhhh

Lyra: you pissed?

Toby: I’m gonna stop breathing

Jeff: thank you, Toby, that’s a good volunteer

Ben: maybe they got struck by lightning

Jeff: where was the lightning bitch

Ben: I’m gonna haunt every generation of your family

Tim: should we take it in turns with the swinging?

Tim: that’s what someone’s mom said last night

Game: it’s been a long day

Liu, to Jeff: me sitting next to you

Brian: I’m grabbing my boobs

Sally: is it an alien or Squidward? What are we being chased by?

Sally: it’s hard for me to tell

Liu: THATS THE SHADOW OF THE ROSE ITS NOT A DEMON

Jeff: if that baby comes out I’m gonna kill you

Toby: I’d like that

Toby: you know what they say about big feet

Lyra: what

Toby: big socks

Lyra: okay

Jeff: half an hour montage of Tobias Rogers attempting to learn how to put on a cape

Toby: can you help

Jeff: no

Toby: and then I just saw some lightning happening in the microwave and thought “what a beautiful night for a thunderstorm”

Sally: I don’t do drugs I don’t know what grams are

Lyra: im hot I don’t know how to count

Jeff: maybe I am heaven

Sally, pointing at plastic spiders: that’s Ben. That’s Ben 2. That’s Ben 3

Liu: I’m gonna give us a solid 7/10 on that one

Jeff: just a seven? Are you fucking kidding me

Liu: I was being humble

Jeff: fuck humble

Jeff: do you ever reflect on our lives and just think… stop

Liu: yeah all the time

Tim: I wanna fuck the Eiffel tower

Jeff: dead people in France

Liu: STOP IT

Ben: im gonna hit you with a meteor

Sally: im gonna microwave you

Toby: can I just show you something

Jeff: is it a dead person in France

Jeff: im in my cougar era. Watch out twinks, Jeff is on the prowl

Lyra: I wanna do things to this house

Liu, through his teeth: what do you want to do to the house, Lyra?

Liu, through his teeth: respect the house, Lyra

Jeff: what happens when you tap the emo dragon

Liu: you want me to tap it?

Jeff: yeah

Liu: *taps dragon*

*g note plays*

Jeff: that’s damn right

Ben: I do not think playing this game is how Christ would want us to start his season but here we are

Jeff: but Santa would and so would his brother, Satan

Ben: okay

Jeff: I don’t own any sex toys that go chomp chomp

Jeff: but nice to know that you do

Jeff: I’d say Jesus Christ but I know he’s not listening right now

Toby: five strokes and you’re done

Jeff: that’s what they call me. Five strokes Jeffy

Jeff: who’s they? What am I saying?

*trying to figure out what lmb stands for*

Jeff: lobotomy maybe bestie

Toby: look mate… BITCH

Jeff: it’s making you more intelligent that’s why you’re winning at golf

Jeff: we finally found a way to fix you

Sally: you’re banned from friendship

Ben: this is a safe space

*literally five minutes later*

Ben: point at the guy who doesn’t know how to crouch

Lyra: I would like you all to tell me how I can be better at this game

Ben: um don’t walk down hole

Lyra: okay

*playing Lethal Company*

Jeff: Ben’s not here let’s have a party

Ben: please get back on the ship or I’ll be leaving without you

Jeff: we thought we found a wheel. It was a mine

Jeff: they’re both fucking dead as fuck

Ben, laughing: good job

Jeff: Tim, you’re a top bunk kinda guy right?

Tim: that’s not what Tumblr says

Jeff: is that brown Grimace

Jeff: what the fuck am I looking at

Toby: I’ve never watched an episode of My Little Pony

Jeff: no because you’re normal

Game: who invented the lightning rod

Sally: me

Lyra: what’s the opposite of tears

Jeff:

Jeff: piss

Jeff: and the moral of the story is

Jeff: fuck books

Jeff: get paper cuts

Liu: no

Jeff: what

Liu: stop

Jeff: oh I missed this completely

Liu: is there some kind of grimy wall from your childhood we need to talk about

Jeff: it’s you bitch

Lyra: I put up flyers for car washing. I washed someone’s car and then they said I scratched it with my rings. Why was an eight year old wearing rings?

Jeff: did they try to scam an eight year old?

Lyra: YES

Jeff: you should’ve killed them

Brian: I would give birth to a child on this

Tim: yes

Brian: I would eat the child straight off it

Tim: no

Liu: let’s just grab an apple and try our best

Toby: hey Siri what’s 25+6

Ben:

Ben: girl-

Ben: 31

Toby: 29

*playing Poppy Playtime*

Jeff, to a toy oven: come with me, Owen

Liu: Owen needs to stay where he is

Jeff: I will love you, Owen

Jeff: I don’t like to contribute I just like to judge

Liu: but, Jeff, what is a VPN?

Jeff: virtual private gnome

Liu: gnome begins with a g

Jeff: :0

Sally: everything is just too heavy

Sally: even milk like

Sally: why are you heavy

Lyra: honestly liquid needs to calm down

Lyra: you know what we say about

superstitions

Liu: that they’re not real?

Lyra:

Lyra: do you wanna fight

Toby: just like Sonic The Hedgehog we’re going speed dating

Toby: … as he was known to do

Ben: what

Toby: what fictional characters could we see here

Toby: what are you expecting

Lyra: I’m expecting an anime boy

Lyra: I don’t know who else

Toby: Bill Clinton

Lyra: okay

Toby: he’s real

Jeff: I don’t care if Mozart did this when he was five he’s a nerd

Liu, about baboons: they only live up to 30 years in the wild and 45 years in captivity

Jeff: oh my god you’ve only got a couple years left

Ben: life comes at you fast and so does Trombone Champ

Tim: unleash the babussy

Jeff: did you just g note me with a fucking trombone

Jeff: last time I lost my voice. I’m loud as fuck today you’re gonna wish I had

Lyra: they ate

Liu: okay

Jeff: I was 26 doing that on YouTube

Jeff: fuck yeah good for me

Jeff: did you know that we are celebrities

Toby: celebritenis

Jeff: we are vips

Toby: vipenis

Jeff: we are influenc-

Jeff: *vomit noise*

Jeff: what did you just say

Toby: vipenis

Jeff:

Sally: when I did 23andme it said I was 8% lobster and I think we all know why

Brian: I think I looked snatched

Toby: *dies laughing*

Brian: did I use that right

Jeff: look it’s hard being this pretty

Lyra, reading the question: if they were having a party, what would they serve

Jeff: cunt

Jeff: sorry

Toby: I mean anything could’ve slipped onto something

Jeff: what

Toby: I don’t know what I mean

Jeff: oh god

[ikoraswife]

ok so here’s some things that I noticed in the first vidoc!

I haven’t been super active online so if someone else already talked about these, I haven’t seen it lol

(pics & observations below the cut)

The witness house

So obviously I noticed this creepy ass Witness-cottage in the video, but i also noticed that in this clip of zavala, he appears to be in front of the visible window of the house.

This is where he says “I used to think I’d give anything to bring you back”, and while I think he’s probably talking to Cayde it could also be Hakim/Safiyah.

The reason I think it could be them is because that little house has somewhat of a resemblance to Zavalas house when he lived with Safiyah. (Of course it could also just be some generic house lol)

Hand Temple & Zavala

So in one of the scenes in the vidoc they show this weird structure with a giant hand on the top, and something that was immediately obvious to me was that it’s COVERED in darkness statues

I counted 5, but there definitely could be more

“But ikoraswife, what’s that circled in green?”

Taking a closer look at it, it looks like it may be Zavala standing in front of the temple, but it could also just be some random structure since it’s small/blurry.

You can sort of make out his red armor, his shiny blue head, and his titan mark, but other than that it’s unclear.

Something else that points to the potential of this being Zavala is this scene that shows right before it pans to the temple:

That’s not just any ghost hovering there, thats Targe, Zavalas ghost

(here’s a pic from the Season of the Chosen for reference)

Now it’s extremely odd that Targe is with Ikora and co when he should be with his guardian. Why is he? Honestly I don’t know, maybe somethings wrong with Zavala.

Geez I’m just realizing how much of this is about Zavala

Crow Golden Gun and Injured Vanguard

In the iconic scene of Crow firing his golden gun inside of a pyramid structure, there’s a couple grams at the beginning where a figure rushes past him.

That’s Ikora and Zavala! One of them is supporting the other, (I think Ikora is supporting Zavala) and they’re quickly moving past him.

We actually saw the other half of this scene earlier in the gameplay trailer, in the scene where Cayde shoots his gun back toward the camera

Honorable mentions

This cute cutscene of the boy and the guardian/ghost is also in the gameplay trailer!

(Vidoc)

(Gameplay Trailer)

Then there's what appears to be the creation of the ghosts! I can't tell if that's that traveler below them or Earth, but I think it's safe to assume that it is the traveler.

After that, there are these two horrifying images of a dead ghost in a Generalist Shell and the broken Ace of Spades.

(ghost)

(Ace)

Important note: the gun appears to be broken in the same places that have glowing cracks in the other cutscenes.

Also! I have no idea what this is <3

Something else

Remember that disgusting arm ribcage thing? Still no clue what it is, but in the new cutscene where Crow goes into the Traveler, it pulses with light and makes what I think is the same noise that the ribcage creature makes in the reveal trailer.

Disclaimer: usually the stuff from the reveal trailers isn't actually in the game/expansion, so this could just be nothing or entirely unrelated.

Anyway this was a super long post, so thank you for dealing with my ramblings if you made it to the end!

[jungle-angel]

“Honey We’re Shrunk!”: Chapter 3 (Rhett Abbott x Reader)

Summary: Summary: Royal was right, there was something weird about that hole in the west pasture. So what happens when Rhett, (Y/n), Amy and their kids wake up one morning and find that they’re only as big as a flea? Shit’s bound to ensue somewhere.    

Tagging: @sebsxphia @peachystenbrough @bradleybeachbabe​

“Can you repeat that back to me.....but slower?” you told your husband.

“Hole......west pasture......” Rhett said slowly, making sure you heard him correctly. “Huge fuckin problem.” 

You folded your hands as you sat on the edge of the doll bed in the dollhouse bedroom with no clue as to what the hole could possibly have in connection to this situation. “Are you sure that thing is back?” 

“Darlin, I was out there with Dad and I saw it with my own eyes,” Rhett answered. “You think I’d lie about something like that?” 

“Well, you did lie about that time you stole my panties and didn’t tell me where they were for a month,” you said. 

Rhett gave you the side-eye. “Besides that.” 

“No.”

“I’m tellin you,” Rhett said. “Something really weird came out of that hole and shrunk us. We’re only what? Two inches high?” 

“Probably a quarter to a half inch,” you answered. 

“And knowing somebody in this house, they’ll squish us like ants,” Rhett explained. “We’ve gotta find a way outta this or we’re gonna be stuck here living in Hannah’s dollhouse.” 

“What?” you chuckled. “You don’t think this place is kinda cute?”

Rhett pressed his lips together, his eyes cast on the red and white checkered wallpaper that seemed to be as old as the Abbott house itself. “I don’t think that’s what my gram intended it for,” he half laughed. 

You smiled and rolled your eyes. “If we’ve gotta wait it out here,” you told him. “Then we wait it out here.” 

“Darlin, I’m serious,” Rhett said. “There’s no running water in this thing and God forbid, one of us eats something bad and gets the shits.” 

You laughed at him being so matter-of-fact, but that was one thing about Rhett you wouldn’t have traded for the world. “I’m joking,” you said with a smile, wrapping your arms around his waist. 

He kissed your lips and held you a little closer than he usually did. “We’ll find a way out of this,” you assured him. “Even if it takes us forever and a day.” 

Rhett smiled and buried his face in your neck. Your reverie was suddenly broken when you heard footsteps in the hallway, clunking along the creaky floorboards as they fell upon the stairs. 

“Perry,” Rhett murmured under his breath. 

“Do we hide?” 

Rhett shook his head and peered cautiously around the corner. He couldn’t see much of his brother, only his shadow in the warm sun spilling in through the windows at the end of the upstairs hallway. There was an eerie calmness in the air, the tension so thick one could have easily cut it with a knife. The hairs on the back of Rhett’s neck stood straight as a pin, for Perry’s shadow lingered a little longer than usual. 

“Rhett, what is it?” you hissed. 

“Perry’s still in the house,” he whispered. “C’mon, grab the babies. We’re gonna find out what’s goin on.” 

You and Rhett rounded up Amy, Hannah and the twins before you left the dollhouse and hurried towards the little mouse hole in the wall, hoping that it would give you a way to see what Perry wanted. You heard the detestable piece of shit muttering and cursing under his breath as he turned and wandered down the hall, back towards the stairs and right down to the living room. 

“C’mon,” Rhett said to you. “I’ve got an idea.” 

You and the kids followed Rhett one door down to Tatum and Tanner’s room, a typical mess of a domain befitting two five year olds. All over the floor there had been scattered their GI Joes, little green army men and a few clothes. Their Woody and Bullseye toys had been lazily placed on top of the toy chest while their bedcovers were all lopsided and falling over the sides of their bunk beds. 

“You two little ghouls told me you picked up your room two days ago,” Rhett sternly remarked. 

“Sorry Daddy,” the twins answered, sheepishly. 

Rhett felt a hot flash of humidity, his senses going absolutely haywire when you all turned to find Diesel, hardly five feet in front of you, a shrill whine escaping his throat as you all stood dead still.

“Mama?” Amy said nervously.

Rhett waved his hand in front of the dog, a sign that Diesel readily recognized. His tongue fell from his mouth as that broad, doggy smile broke out on Diesel’s face. 

“C’mere boy,” Rhett ordered. 

Diesel crawled right to him on his belly, staying dead still as Rhett climbed up his nose and onto the top of his head. “Darlin whatcha waiting for?” He called. “C’mon!” 

You motioned for the kids to follow you as Diesel waited patiently for you and the kids to make your way up. “Are we going for a ride?” Amy asked excitedly. 

“You bet doodlebug,” Rhett chuckled. 

“Do we gotta hang on like when you ride the bulls, Daddy?” Tanner asked. 

“Yep, everybody hold on,” Rhett commanded. 

You all held fast to Diesel’s collar as Rhett gave the command he had taught Diesel for herding the cattle. Within seconds, Diesel was up and running at full speed down the hall and down the stairs with all of you on his back, hanging tight to his collar as though the six of you were riding a massive bull. 

“Slow....down.....you....dumbass....dog!!!” Rhett ordered as Diesel bounded his way down the stairs and towards the landing, all of you still clinging to his collar and shrieking like banshees as you were tossed up and down and every way in between. You hardly heart Perry swearing loudly as Diesel bounded into the kitchen and nearly knocked your slimy excuse of a brother-in-law flat on his ass. It took everything in yours, Rhett’s and the kids’ power to hold on for dear life and not let go. 

“Alright you dumb fuckin dog!” Perry shouted. “That’s it, out, out, OUT!” 

Diesel loped down the porch and into the grass, shaking his fur out when you, Rhett and the kids all went flying into the dirt. Rhett landed flat on his back, his dark brown Stetson cowboy hat in the dirt next to him before you landed next to him. 

“Incoming!” you shouted. 

“Oh shit, shit shit!!!! Fuck! Fuck!!” 

Amy screamed as she flew through the air and landed right on top of Rhett, the pain of impact forcing him to cry out and cough, ringing through his ribs, lungs and stomach. 

“I’m sorry Daddy,” she said. 

“S’ok doodlebug,” Rhett groaned. “You’re good.” 

Amy had been about to roll off of Rhett when Tatum hit the dirt and skidded a good foot behind you. Tanner was the last to come in for a landing, right into your arms but with his foot rather ungracefully landing right in your face.

All of you shook off the dirt and any injuries you had sustained, the heat of early summer bearing down on all of you. Rhett looked back at the house, his mouth open and chest heaving as his blood boiled at the thought of Perry not only being in the house, but having pushed them all out and into the yard had made the anger roiling within, nearly volcanic. 

“YOU PIECE O’FUCKIN SHIT!!!!!” Rhett shouted. 

“Rhett!! Rhett!!!” you blurted out, grabbing him suddenly by the shoulders to restrain him. 

“I’M GONNA FUCKIN TIE YOU UP, INDIAN STYLE AND FINISH YOU LIKE A FISH DINNER!!!!!” 

You made a face at the suddenness of the threat. Never heard that one before.....you thought, trying not to laugh. 

“Rhett,” you said calmly. 

He gritted his teeth when he turned to look at you, his chest still heaving as the breath left his nostrils. 

“First of all,” you informed him a little sharply. “Need I remind you that your children are standing five feet in front of you.” 

“Yeah and that asshat is sitting in our house, doing who knows what,” Rhett retorted. “Drinking all of Dad’s beer and licking everything to claim it as his own!!!” 

Now you were really trying hard not to laugh. You knew your husband long enough, that when he was angry, the obscenities that spilled from his mouth were more funny than threatening. “I get it,” you said, biting your lip. “Believe me, I hate the little turd just as much as you do.....” 

“He’s like a deer tick trying to burrow into your balls,” Rhett huffed. 

“That aside,” you reminded him. “We still have to find a way out of this.”

Rhett made a pouty face and crossed his arms. As much as he didn’t want to, one look at you and the kids, told him he didn’t really have a choice. “Just promise me one thing darlin?” 

“Hmm?” 

“Promise me I get to annoy the shit out of him if we ever find a way back into the house?” 

“It’d be my utmost pleasure baby,” you chuckled. 

Rhett laughed a little as the kids ran up to him, encircling them with their little arms and your own. You knew deep down, that despite everything, you and Rhett vowed to find a way out of this, even if you had to go to the ends of the earth to do so. 

[anxiousjarofsass]

As someone who is chronically ill, I’ve seen it so many times. I’m a type 2 diabetic, but, when I found out, I was 19, and I had been pre-diabetic at 16, and a doctor knew because she saw my glucose level when we did blood tests for me, and she said NOTHING. So for three years my body had irreversible damage done to it. All because of my age, I went to the ER, I WAS DYING FROM KIDNEY FAILURE DUE TO HIGH KETONE LEVELS FROM MY GLUCOSE BEING OVER 500 FOR 3 YEARS. It’s like poison, my body was literally trying to fight off poison while it damaged my organs. Those ER doctors saw my heart rate and tried to tell me it was anxiety, it wasn’t, my body was literally shutting down from extensive damage. Specifically a massive nerve that controls EVERYTHING, heart rate, blood pressure, temperature control, digesting food, urinating, etc. for over a year I had horrible random attacks that could last for months at a time, such severe migraines I would have stroke-like symptoms where I could not talk, walk, and stumbled around acting drunk almost, slurred speech, double vision, and my head would Bob backwards because I couldn’t hold it up. I had random fainting spells where my heart rate plummeted and the worse cold chills would make my skin turn pale, I’d shake, and crumpled so fast to the ground. I wouldn’t be able to empty my bowels or urinate for OVER 3 DAYS STRAIGHT, I would get so hot or cold I would vomit, my back ended up having a severely herniated disk because my connective tissues is weakened, limbs turning white and burning from being so numb. It was literally hell on Earth. I had to quit my full time job and just lay in a dark room everyday, I could get up for a few hours before getting I’d get sick or pass out. I’ve met with an endocrinologist, cardiologist, pulmonologist, psychiatrist, radiologist, neurologist, pain management doctor, Physical therapist, and an OBGYN. I’ve had 4 hours of a full body MRI done to rule out MS, and a tube shoved down my throat to see why I had a random mass in my chest, then had to be screened and tested for a plethora of cancers, had so many CTs and X-rays. I’m at least 10-15k in medical debt, still have to pay for my insulin, and even though I need an insulin pump, I’m type 2. Type 2 diabetics are stereotyped they’re supposed to be 40 years or older. It’s a newer science but more and more young people are becoming a type 2 diabetic around 18-25, that was unheard of, but when young people get it, it’s more exetreme, and doctors don’t want to learn this. I had a doctor tel me I was selfish for wanting to get healthier and have a baby someday. I’ve had multiple look at my chart and go “this can’t be correct you’re so young.” Or my favorite “yeah this isn’t fair but this is the card you’ve been dealt, so deal with it”. The medical field is full of arrogant jerks who don’t take people seriously that are living with health problems they couldn’t even imagine. My endocrinologist just up and left and gave me a weeks notice, so I had no diabetes doctor. It took a neurologist who watched me sob in his office because I was so lost and afraid. He pulled out his laptop, and looked up extremely restrictive keto diets. Printed off a pamphlet and told me this is the only way I’d be able to control the nerve damage and let my body try to heal. Everyday I work my ass off and only eat 30 grams of carbs a day. But my A1C is finally going down, and I feel slightly more human, I can do chores around my house and shower without assistance. I’m doing it all on my own and have no doctors to help, I even had to change my insulin sliding scale dosages without consulting a doctor because guess what, I DON’T HAVE A DOCTOR TO HELP WITH MY INSULIN. I’ve been treated like a child who doesn’t know what they’re talking about, or that I’m just lazy. They break you down and make it feel like you’re fault. I hate doctors, they’re arrogant, dismissive jerks who usually are healthy and have never had a chronic health problem. I hope someday a reckoning comes for the negligent and horrid behavior.

Physicians are using excuses to intentionally dissuade people with disabilities from their practices, researchers say in a new study exposing just how pervasive discrimination against this population is in health care.

In focus groups, doctors described making strategic choices to turn away individuals with disabilities. They reported telling patients with disabilities that they would require specialized care and that “I am not the doctor for you.” In other cases, physicians said they simply indicate that “I am not taking new patients” or “I do not take your insurance.”

The findings come from a study published this month in the journal Health Affairs. It is based on focus groups conducted in late 2018 by researchers at the Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine, the University of Massachusetts and Harvard Medical School with 22 primary care and specialist doctors who were selected from a national database.

Many of the participants described accommodating people with disabilities as burdensome and some used outdated language like “mentally retarded.” Doctors frequently indicated that individuals with disabilities account for a small number of patients, making it hard to justify having accessible equipment. They also had little knowledge of their obligations under the Americans with Disabilities Act, with one suggesting that the law works “against physicians.”

The latest study builds on findings published earlier this year from a survey of 714 doctors that was done by some of the same researchers. Just 56% of physicians who participated in the survey said they welcome people with disabilities at their practices and only 41% indicated that they could provide such patients with a similar quality of care to others. Meanwhile, more than a third of doctors queried said they had little or no knowledge of their legal obligations under the ADA.

“Taken together, the focus groups and survey responses provide a substantive and deeply concerning picture of physicians’ attitudes and behaviors relating to care for people with disabilities,” the study authors note.

The findings suggest that bias continues to greatly influence health care more than 30 years after passage of the ADA, which prohibits discrimination against people with disabilities, including in medical services.

Tara Lagu, a professor of hospital medicine and medical social sciences at Northwestern University and an author of the study, described the doctors’ attitudes toward the ADA in particular as “upsetting and disappointing.”

“Our body of work suggests that physician bias and discriminatory attitudes may contribute to the health disparities that people with disabilities experience,” Lagu said. “We need to address the attitudes and behavior that perpetuate the unequal access experienced by our most vulnerable patients.”

[rp-meme-central]

more of B. Dylan Hollis’ baking TikToks - sentence starters

1. “When I think of zucchini, I think of good barbeque, summer salads... men. Just not dessert.” 

2. “I hate zuchinni. It doesn’t taste bad, it just makes me feel insufficient.” 

3. “I’m guessing the flavor profile is going to be cholestrol.” 

4. “Some dishes aren’t amazing, but they are innately comforting, and this is a prime example. Like a hug on a plate.” 

5. “I don’t need instructions. I’m single.” 

6. “At least its hot garbage.” 

7. “It’s a demon quiche!”  

8. “That isn’t a typo, this is is delibrate. Someone published this! And got paid for it!” 

9. “Can I start making assumptions now?” 

10. “Do you know what a salad is? Because whatever you think is - is wrong!” 

11. “At least nothing hatched.” 

12. “It’s not dinner time until you add a pack of gelatine to some water!” 

13. “You know what stings more than a knife, _____? Rejection.” 

14. “No veggies allowed!” 

15. “It’s a cat food recipe!” 

16. “I hate cottage cheese. It looks like its listening to me.” 

17. “Now that’s just a good cookie. It is distinctly different, but good.” 

18. “No spices for you!” 

19. “There’s no Jell-O in here, just the dark arts.” 

20. “The taste is good, it’s like Christmas, but it’s unpleasantly slimy.” 

21. “Look who’s fallen from grace. Shame.” 

22. “Yes, this definitely is one of these salads, which definitely isn’t a salad, because ______ is unsupervised and they can’t be stopped.” 

23. “You don’t measure this in calories. No, you measure this in years taken off your life expectancy!” 

24. “Is it good? No. Is it bad? No. It’s sugar!” 

25. “Go ahead, feed this to a child. You’re going to yeet them into orbit.” 

26. “It’s known that here in ______, they’ll deep-fry anything that isn’t bolted to the earth, including zucchinis, hot dogs, and several species of large bird.” 

27. “Don’t bake these, they’ll be flatter than my butt.”

28. “Are you ready to die? Yeah, me too.” 

29. “This is perfection. I don’t know what else you want me to say. Whoopsie, they’re gone!” 

30. “This is enough to incapacitate one medium child.”

31. “You sure this wasn’t meant for a bird?” 

32. “This takes a while to come out. Don’t worry, I did too.” 

33. “This is culinary terrorism!” 

34. “Tastes like a bookshelf! Books included!” 

35. “Never been down here, have you? Welcome.” 

36. “We’re pacifiers. No... we’re not pacifiers.... Pacifists!” 

37. “In ______, this recipe is actually protected by law. Bake it wrong? To jail!” 

38. “I love oats. They taste like grandparents.” 

39. “I did have to convert this entire recipe from grams into freedom units.” 

40. “Nothing quite says ‘autumn’ like an apple... except pumpkin, or seasonal depression.” 

41. “Living large tonight, ______! We got oats!” 

42. “I’m not making fun of the Great Depression... I am making fun of the Great Depression.” 

43. “They look dead, but my house smells amazing!” 

44. “Fall. Winter. Fireplaces. Beautiful! The very definition of ‘simple, yet brilliant’.” 

[hollyhomburg]

(Vent post) What I’m really tired of right now is my mom making choices about her life style and then expecting me to just? Compensate for the time and effort involved? She has all these things about being environmentally conscious when they’re really just...not, because she wants to feel like a good person

Like I hate using the wood burning stove to heat our house when we have perfectly good electric heating- it makes a ton of mess, litterally our house is just so filthy because she doesn’t take her shoes off and Its gotten to the point where I just refuse to clean. I wear slippers in the house and take them off in the doorway of my room so that my space stays as clean as possible but Most of the dirt gets tracked up from the downstairs and from the fire, the dust and stuff too- and It takes a lot of time and constant tending to keep the house warm, I can feel it in my lungs too.

I end up getting it lit in the morning because she doesn’t have time too, I also bring in all the wood from outside which takes like hours each week and she’s always getting on me for not stacking it or not bringing enough in for it to dry properly- all of which is extra work that I don’t have the energy for. And in her mind she’s “sticking it to the oil and gas companies” but it’s me doing the labour for it and I’m so, fucking, tired.

I want to be able to switch the heat on like everyone else without being bitched at that it’s too expensive, if she has enough money to pay 80 for an gram of weed once a week we’ve got enough to heat our fucking house. She has no right to make me feel guilty.

There are countless other things I handle for her because she wants things to be a certain way, the chickens which I do 90% of the work for, the laundry which she has this like- vendetta about not putting on the drier because it’s “bad for the environment” even though we specifically got a high efficiency washer drier that litterally uses as much energy as charging your laptop and only uses like 1/3 the amount of water- and like- well that’s fine if she wants to put the effort into hanging out her clothes and waiting 2-3 days for them to dry in our musty ass house but I’m going to dry my clothes and reclaim my time.

My point is I do so much work around the house, so so so much work to appease her when there is an easier way to do things, and she guilt trips me every step of the way. I try to throw out rotten food and she takes it out of the garbage because “we can compost it” well then deal with it or get it off the counter, I could go on and on

and I get that I live here- but I am her child- she chose to create me and honestly I would have chosen not to exist if I’d been given the choice but I’m not her partner, and I feel like she’s kinda forcing me into that roll both emotionally and otherwise.

Tonight I kinda got snippy with her because she was like “do you wanna to clean the kitchen or do the fire” and I was like “well neither where my choice and I didn’t eat the food so I’m going to bed” and she got all upset with me but like look, it’s unfair of her to expect me to compensate for her ideals, I will compensate for her needs, but not if those are the needs of her ego.

[hurricaness]

how old r u?

u could go to a few clubs after 10 pm and ask around if ur not shy, but that’d be one hell of a mission, cause you’d probably meet someone who’d direct you to someone who’d direct you to someone etc etc until u found a plug that has what ur looking for, and if you don’t look like the type of person who does drugs (or if u look too young or too old) ppl might be reluctant to actually help u out — and if they do, expect plugs to charge u 3x what they charge ppl who are in the scene (and there’s not much u can do ab that tbh; drugs are expensive and we need customers like u for the profit to actually be worth the risk of getting caught). BUT BE CAREFUL if youre going to shady clubs or “trap houses” without someone experienced with you — it’s not as dangerous at it seems, really, most users and local dealers are nice ppl just tryna do their thing and stay out of trouble, but ofc there’ll always be bad ppl tryna spike up ur drink or smth, so don’t let ur guard down

but frankly, i think ur best option is to ask someone u know irl. like, go on instagram and look for that 1 chick u went to high school with that used to smoke weed, even if you’ve never even talked to her. i know it’s easier said than done but don’t be shy, i promise u ppl rly dont give a fuck

regardless of how you do it, if ur friendly and ask around enough, you’ll eventually find someone who has contacts for everything. for me thats my ex bf (who’s still one of my best friends); he’s very extroverted and friendly and outgoing and he could get me anything. before i met him, i could get pharmacy drugs (shit like xanax, adderall, codeine, etc) easily cause i have infinite prescription talons, and i could easily get weed and coke if i wanted to (i very rarely feel like it) cause there’s a point of sale for drugs in a park/square in my neighborhood where i used to hang out a lot so i’m a familiar face there and i know who to approach for those, but i had trouble getting anything else (like lsd and mdma, which are favorites of mine). even though im in the scene and im sure i could find sources for other things if i asked around enough, i avoid doing that cause i’m introverted and actually pretty shy irl, not to mention i have to be extra careful ab who i talk to since i myself sell too and already got a reputation in my neighborhood, so i cant risk talking to a tattle. so i only managed to get my hands on shrooms, lsd, and some harder to find stuff like muscimol, dob, dom, etc, when i met my ex bf — he’s like a walking phonebook of drug sources cause of how extroverted he is + he works in politics and, yk, politicians are all involved with these things. (and he grows his own shrooms for money but also for fun, it’s really sweet how much he loves working in his “garden”). but i’m getting really off track here

if you want, we can exchange numbers and i could also send u some links of trustworthy websites that sell shrooms. they’re all run by people i know personally (friends of my ex) and they don’t usually do international shipping but if i ask my ex to talk to them and ur willing to pay for that, they’d probably agree to it. if u live in north america or europe, that would actually probably be cheaper than buying from a local plug, you’d probably only spend ab 20 dollars for 3 grams (the usual starter dose for shrooms — but i’d advise you to buy another 6 or 7 grams so you can have an intense trip some other time if you enjoy ur first, beginner one) + shipping, cause my country’s currency is really “devalued” rn so even tho it’s expensive here, it’ll turn out pretty cheap when u convert it to dollars or euros. and i have no idea how much shrooms cost wherever u live, but it’s probably more than that, cause these guys actually dont profit much, they sell for 25% more than what they spend on growing the shrooms, and it’s a lot of work (seriously, i see my ex doing it and i’ve tried myself and it takes several hours of meticulous, annoying work for days just to get a few). but even tho i can vouch for them, you’d still be giving money and ur address to a stranger on the internet, and who’s to say i’m not scheming to steal ur money, yk? (i’m not, i wouldnt even be profiting from it, but ofc you’d still be taking a leap of faith — and so would i, cause who’s to say ur not a narc lol). but i’d only feel comfortable helping out if u can prove that u are at least 16 years old

i’m guessing you’ve already done ur homework on shrooms, but i could also help out if u have any questions ab it, it’s a subject that i love chatting ab — one could say drugs are even a special interest of mine fr, i like studying them even more than trying them out; i study medicine and pharmacology. getting high is just chemical reactions, pure science, and at the same time it’s a deeply spiritual and philosophical experience that a lot of people report to be life changing. and i believe that if u study those chemicals and human physiology enough, you can “control” the spiritual part of it and make sure that you find what you’re looking for in ur trip

I want to try shrooms for nerdy spiritual reasons, but like how do you even begin to find a plug or trip sitter when you don't have irl friends all of your friends are straight-edge and also I'm scared of the Dark Web :3

[spiltscribbles]

Prompt: remus and lily as siblings or half siblings or biological family in any capacity pls 🥺

Oh God!!! Baby!!!🥺🥺😭 This is such a favorite AU of mine!! I’m literally— sorta— writing a To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before AU right now and they are the bestest siblings in that!!!  They share a little sister and they are just so cute!! And Petunia is conveniently off in university oaiwefjoiaswejfiogreghoij And I just love Remus and Lily both so much it hurts!!! And so I wanna spit out a bullet point Ficlet at you! And I’m not even sorry just because I love you so endlessly for tossing this into my inbox foiwaeifmkaeoirfgjieoarujoidkioweajgh 

So like in my head, becs that Voldy bitch doesn’t know how to actually world build, the Muggle born children who get their Hogwarts letters, are also invited to join this like support group for ordinary folks with magical children. It’s like a thing that’s held in the Ministry of magic over in London once a month, and the parents are taught about the Wizarding world while their children kind of go to this separate room to intermingle and read Hogwarts; A History with one another, and just vibe, because pure bloods and those close to that have always sorta known one another and such, so this is a nice way for the Muggle borns not to feel so excluded.

So the thing is, obviously Lyall was a wizard, but also we all know I don’t fuck with him lmfao. So I picture that after he leaves for the final time when Remus is around nine, and finalizes the  divorce with Hope, she— being the bad bitch that she is, just marches to the ministry with her half-blood, werewolf son, and demands to learn everything about the world he’s part of, because she refuses to let him be deprived of anything. 

Eventually she becomes one of the tutors for the adult section because she’s such a quick study— being a professor herself back in Cardiff and just being an all around bombshell tbh. So one day, in February of 1970, there’s this ginger haired, northerner who stumbles in with his daughter who looks so much like him that it’s crazy— dimples and smile and upturned nose. Though she has her mother’s eyes, who had past away when she was only seven from a freak car accident.

And when he first shake’s Hope’s hand, he’s like kind of mind boggled over how beautiful she is, and thinks that maybe all wizards just put on some sort of charm to look unearthly, till he finds out that she’s as Muggle as he is towards the end of his visit. And he is just entirely love struck tbh.

And for the next couple months or so, he kind of just yearns from afar, and then spends the ride home to Cokeworth listening to Lily’s excited chortling about her friend Remus who’s apparently a half blood and who likes the same treats as her and knows how to draw things so amazingly, and it isn’t until like May, when he ambles to the other room and realizes that Remus is actually Hope’s fucking son, and he already knows that she said she began this group after separating from her husband who was a wizard himself. So Lily’s father— Nate— quite literally just shoots his shot and asks if Lily would like to get ice cream with her new friend since Petunia won’t be coming back from there Grams’s house till late, and Hope sorta smirks from over the kids’ heads because she sees exactly what he’s doing and is impressed that he’s finally done something for fuck’s sake.

And like obviously they fall hard for one another, and they probs get married like Lily’s second year at Hogwarts.

Wait, just Lily’s you ask??

Yes my beautiful duckling,  because plot twist!! (We lovee plot twists!!!)

In this AU i picture that McGonagall kind of visits during the summer months leading up to the children’s first year at Hogwarts, just to give them some supplementary readings and answer the questions for their future schooling, and when Dumbledore tells her about Remus’s full situation with his lycanthropy and all, she does some research, and figures out how Beauxbatons is much, MUCH more accommodating to “dark” creatures, and she’s already pretty chummy with Hope and knows that she’s actually a French citizen herself, the daughter of Algerian immigrants. So Remus technically has the possibility to attend Hogwarts or Beauxbatons, and so Hope and Remus talk on it long and hard, and she knows he’s already become fast friends with Lily and their thick as thieves with one another, but it’s also just so much safer for him.

So the week before Lily is set to go off to King’s Cross, they fly over to France and they get Remus settled in his dorm abroad.

I think while they’re away, Lily and Remus actually somehow become closer, because their parents are still dutifully dating and neither of them are all that familiar with their surroundings, so they send one another so many fucking letters through that first term, that the owls of their schools always give them the dirtiest looks lmfao. And they really catch on like a house on fire, like it’s one of those relationships that is just innate? Like you know when you have a best friend you guys kind of just slip into one another lives? Like even when you don’t talk for a while or whatever, it’s just natural<3 <3 

So neither of them ever spend the hols of winter or spring in Hogwarts/Beauxbatons, becs that’s when they really get to vibe.

They tell one another the different cool charms they’ve learned, and hate that they can’t show them with their actual wands yet. And they watch all their favorite films and almost adopt this secret language that’s only the quirk of their brows and twitch of the lips, and Petunia hates how freakily attuned they are with one another and sneers at them for being such freaks in all aspects. Also in this AU Lily fucks off from Snape wayyyy sooner, because instead of having to deal with that nasty, bigoted, slime ball she has the cutest and funniest and most amazing bestie in Remus!

And before Hope and Nate exchange vows in the winter of their second year, the little family of five go to this tiny park that’s all lush grassland and a shiny jungle gym and a pair of swings tucked away by trees, and they sit at this picnic table, and Hope— with her steady, ever buoyant voice, explains to them why she and Remus decided to send him to Beauxbatons instead of Hogwarts, and Petunia is like gawking in fright, and Nate looks sort of distressed, but Lily just cocks her head and shrugs her shoulders, because it’s still Remus— her closest companion Rem— and nothing could change that. So she takes his hand from where it’s fiddling with a splintered piece of wood on the tabletop and she squeezes it tightly, watches him glance up at her with the late summer wind billowing in his tawny curls and the fear in his honey eyes, and she simply tells him that it doesn’t matter. And Lily will never forget the way his features spasm at that, going suddenly loose and bright and thankful, and then Nate probably tousles his hair and kisses Hope’s temple and shyly asks how they should accommodate once they move in with one another.

And that park becomes sorta special tbh.

It’s in that alcove with the swings and trees where Lily and Remus go when things are becoming too much, or they would just like to escape the world by one another’s side.

It’s where they tried their first cigarettes that Remus had gotten from an older bloke in Beauxbaton’s when they were thirteen and feeling adventurous. And where they go to listen to the releases of their favorite albums, and when Remus told Lily that he’s gay for the first time before leaving to both their fourth years and it’s like one of those spots they both think of and feel golden.

Oh God! Imagine how cute of a celebration that Nate and Hope hold for them both becoming prefects!!! Hope and Nate definitely insist on some sort of summer todo! And they invite their friends and all that jazz and OMFG what if Lily’s wearing some sorta powder blue sundress that matches Remus’s oxford shirt and they both are grimacing in all the photos and are just not thriving foieajfoierjgiearfoijsdkgxh But like they would be doted on rotten that whole day! This is so cute! OMFG! And this probs means James became Prefect as well and so Remus gets to tease her when he sends her some sort of congratulations letter and she’s totally blushing and trying to hide her grin, and Lily retaliates by kicking his ankle tbh bahaha 

Okay also now I’m thinking of like Lily’s like fifth year, and her Muggle studies class is doing some sort of seminar to see if these idiots can actually survive in a totally Muggle area without a lick of magic, so like it’s spring hols, and guess who she’s partnered up with??? 

Cookies for you because we all know she had to work with James and Sirius lmfao!!! 

And she’s totally still trying to hide her crush on James— who’s nearly always leering and winking her way— and she might actually punch Sirius’s face simply because he’s such a smug bastard, and being from a working class family like herself, she’s like always ready to fight preppy rich boys tbh

So James and Sirius decide to plan out the simulation in her house that’s right outside Cardiff and Remus is cackling the entire morning before they’re set to arrive because she’s so pissy about it lmfao

Okay so like obviously the boys end up taking the port key and land in front of her place and it’s Remus who answers the door, still painted with humor because Lily was just screaming about “if Potter brings that insufferable snitch here I’ll bloody shove it up his arse” and James is immediately on the defense because Lily’s only ever talked about her sister and brother who live with her at home, and this dude is golden where she’s pale and has curls over her straight hair and just, obviously they’re not related by blood at all. And for his part, Sirius is like *Oh! Oh! Oh! Pretty!!! Pretty boy!! Muggle boy? Pretty Muggle boy!* 

But Remus obviously knows who they are straight away, so he like waves them inside before rounding to the stairs and calling for her to stop clogging the toilet or something else mortifyingly embarrassing, and Lily promises to put like pickles in the next set of face masks that they do because she knows how fucking allergic he is to them, and she wants her chuckles damn it!!  

“Potter— Black,” is how she greets them with a derisive sort of glower that Remus can completely see through, so he has to excuse himself while laughing over to the kitchen. “You’ve met my delightful brother I see.”

And James’s entire posture relaxes and he’s back to grinning like a dope, and the only weird part is that Sirius has got on the very same face, *Pretty Muggle boy is Evan’s brother* So like they are both scary levels of elated, rip.

But sucks to be Sirius because Remus leaves after that to meet up with a friend from town who’s also the best dealer tbh, and  so he has to deal with James’s awful levels of flirting with Lily while they scrounge up their itinerary to send their professor for the seminar type thing, and he doesn’t even have a pretty distraction XS

But Lily does force Remus to come along with her on the trip to London because “On God, if I spend a day alone with those bellends by myself I will punch a wall” 

And it is literally the worst, but best double date/first date that’s full of Sirius and James fucking up with everything— including asking some poor Tesco employee where are their fudgeflies and giving a homeless man a hand full of galleons and James’s snitch somehow ending up in the meaty hands of some kid at the tube. But also tbh it’s hella cute when Lily lets James give her his jacket when they’re walking along the Thames and it’s getting chilly, and when Remus lets Sirius share his stick of cotton candy and they both sorta stare at the sugar on each of their lips.

But then they go to some tiny museum, and while they’re looking at a impressionist piece, Sirius is totally trying to show off to Remus and is explaining how he could turn the bench their sitting on into a really nice bouquet of Lupins, and in the middle of his stupid showboating, Remus lightly corrects him on some facet of Gamp’s law, and Sirius freezes— shocked still— and he’ sort of gaping like an idiot, before Lily stops his blustering with a scoff “He’s a damn wizard also you arse.”

And Sirius is floundering for the rest of the evening, and he has so many questions, but they all die on his lips every time he glances over at Remus and he’s just smirking at him with this electric glint in his golden eyes

So obviously when they’re back at Hogwarts he pesters Lily every second of every day about Remus, and why he’s not at Hogwarts. “None of your fucking business.” And asking where Remus goes instead. “Beauxbatons, thankfully far away from you.” and he asks her about a thousand other questions that Lily either scoffs at or simply cuffs him around the head for daring to even try getting his address.

And she pokes fun about the situation to Remus and tells him how much more of an idiot he’s acting like, and how hilarious it all is. And she’s shocked when he responds to her letter merely by saying, “Hah- he’s cute.”

And so obviously she shoots back a reply that’s a letter of all his worst traits, mainly that he’s an arrogant toerag, and that he’s a posh idiot who could probably live off his inheritance for three lifetimes without blinking, and about how he doesn’t date anyone for longer than a couple months, and how he’s practically brothers with James bloody Potter, and yet again, Remus just tells her, Hah- he’s cute, before mildly moving to talking about his latest charms paper and how he’s been asked to be their DADA’s professors TA next year, and how Andrew keeps trying to try again with him but Remus would rather poke his eyes out with a spork.

So Lily is totally fuming when she recognizes that she’s lost and begrudgingly gives Sirius Remus’s info, after telling him lowly and with her most menacing glower, “IF you fuck around with my brother I will murder you without a flinch.” And she’s quite literally five feet nothing to Sirius’s broad, six-foot frame, but he knows that she could do it with a snap of the finger, and he promises that it’s not just a gag on his end. And Lily actually believes him.

So Remus and Sirius begin writing to one another a sickening amount, like so steadfastly that it gives Lily a complex whenever she finds Sirius waiting at the Owlry every Wednesday morning for the bird that arrives with two letters tied to it’s leg, one for each of them.

And God, one time, right before they let out for summer hols, Lily accidentally takes the one marked for Sirius— and holy christ!!!, She did not need to know just what exactly her brother has been getting up to in the sex department of things— like she legit contemplated using a memory charm on herself JFC

And Sirius probably ends up on their doorstep again in late July, with James at toe, and somehow their is a small harmony painted between the four of them, and it’s by Christmas of sixth year when James and Sirius begin talking about how amazing it’ll be when they’re actually in-law brothers, and Lily blames Remus for everything when she’s pretending to be cross over it, but then James puts his arm around her shoulders, and she sees how gentle Sirius is when he twines his fingers into Remus’s own, and it feels good, feels right. 

It feels like something that can be forever.

Send Me A Prompt/Chat With Me💜  |  My Wolfstar FIC Masterlist

[thewritetofreespeech]

Could you do headcanons of a MC and the brothers going to an amusement park together?

Obey Me Brother + Amusement Park Hcs

Lucifer

Oh what fresh sweet hell is this

He would go, of course, if you ask him

But he would literally rather be anywhere else

Will hold your bag while you go on rides

Enjoys the fountain light show at the end of the evening

Mammon

“It...It’s not like I’m excited to go or anything!”

Super excited though. Although he’s excited to go anywhere with you.

Wants to go on the haunted house ride so you get scared & he can comfort you. 

Ends up getting scared himself

Would try to win you a prize from the game stalls, but since they’re rigged (and he has the worst luck imaginable at gambling of any kind) ends up getting a pitty key chain from the vendor. You still love it though.

Levi

Excited beyond belief to go to the park with you

Will wait in line to take pictures with all the mascots

Exclusive Park Merch!

Wants to attend all the live show performances they have. Gets depressed when some overlap.

Would never ask, but wants a cute anime kiss on the ferris wheel

Satan

Not a big fan of crowds, but would go if you ask him

That weird-o that reads everything about the park so he can drop little trivia bits like, “did you know this waterfall feature uses 1800 gallons of recycled water a day?”

Wants to see the Hall of Demon Kings at the park (the Devildom equivalent of Disney’s Hall of Presidents feature)

If there is an animal feature at the park, like a petting zoo or drive through safari, that’s where you’ll find him

Refuses to eat any food presented on a stick

Asmo

Goes for the gram!

Excited to go with you, of course. But cute park pics get a lot of likes.

Matching couples outfits like “you’re the Mickey to my Minnie”. Stuff like that

Will want to do a princess/prince makeover if they offer it at the park.

Mutters “I’m way prettier than her” under his breath at every official princess he sees

Beel

Excited to spend the day with you. No matter where it is.

Canon he’s a huge fan of Devilcat. The Devilgram of him meeting his ‘idol’ is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. Please let him go see him again.

Eats all the food from the food stalls. Which is great for you, because you can make a meal out of getting a bite out of everything and pick your favorite. Beel gets to eat a ton of fried food.

Ice cream cones by the fountain. Want a lick? ;3

Wins you a prize from the game stalls pruely by brute strength and accident. Very proud.

Belphie

Oh what fresh sweet hell is this x2

Hard to drag a boy who’s goal in life is to stay in bed around an amusement park

But he’ll do it for you

Better chance of him coming if Beel comes too. But would request ‘private time’ if his twin comes along

Likes the tea cup ride. Don’t ask me why.

[let-me-luve-you]

Trip to the North Pole

Dad!Jensen x Reader

SPN Christmas Bingo 2020

Summary: Jensen promises his children to go see Santa.

Warnings: Angst, Workaholic Jensen, some fluff

MASTERLIST

SPN Christmas Bingo 2020

Jensen didn’t plan on being busy during the months of November and December. He had finished filming a movie at the very beginning of December. He was recording for his new album. He was working for his new production company and trying to bring in two new shows. He rarely spent time with his family. 

You tried to include Jensen in the family Christmas activities, but he just couldn’t find time. You were surprised he could find time to eat and sleep. So far he missed putting up the Christmas lights, picking out a tree and decorating it, making Christmas cookies and candies, and he missed the family slumber party where you gave the kids their Christmas pajamas and watched a Christmas movie.

Jensen begged you to wait on taking the kids to see Santa. Hadley was 4, the twins Tristan and Raelyn were 2, and Lyndon was 3 months. He had missed seeing Santa in the past due to filming for Supernatural, but he didn’t want to miss this year. It was a week before Christmas, and Jensen still hadn’t taken the kids to see Santa at the mall.

“Jensen babe, the kids keep asking when they get to go see Santa. They’re afraid they won’t get anything if they don’t see him.” You said as you walked into the office.

“I promise I’ll take them. I just have meetings all day today and tomorrow. I’ll take them this weekend.” Jensen said. You sighed.

“We can’t. We are going to my family this weekend, remember?” You looked at him as his head fell.

“I forgot. I’ll take them right when we get back Sunday.” He said as he stood up and walked up to you. He kissed your head and then walked back to his desk. You walked out of the room to go break the news to your kids. 

“Hey bubs and bubettes, Daddy will take you this weekend when we get back from Grams and Pops house.” You said as they all stopped playing and looked at you. They looked so defeated because they were hoping to go today. “I promise babies. Daddy will take you Sunday.” 

They smiled at you and then moved on to continue playing with their toys. You moved to the kitchen to start working on dinner. You occasionally looked up at the children and would smile as they talked with each other and would laugh. Jensen was missing out on so much and he didn’t even know it.

Sunday morning came and the kids ran into your room and jumped on your bed. 

“Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Wake up! We get to see Santa today!” Tristan yelled as he shook you awake. His two sisters bouncing up and down next to him. You smiled at them. You turned your head to where your husband normally lays and his side was empty. You internally sighed knowing he was already working. 

“Okay. Okay. I’m up. Let’s turn on a movie for you to watch as Mommy gets Lyndon fed and ready and gets herself ready. What do you want to watch? Frosty the Snowman or Rudolph?”

“RUDOLPH!” All three yelled. You smiled and put the movie on the tv. You walked to Lyndon’s room and saw him lying awake in his crib.

“Hi baby. How are you this morning?” You cooed at him. He smiled big showing off his gums. “Is my baby boy hungry?” You said as you unbutton the first few buttons of Jensen’s shirt you were wearing. Lyndon latched on to your breast and started eating. You walked down the hall to Jensen’s office as he fed. 

Jensen didn’t look up as you walked in. You watched him from the doorway. His eyebrows set in a frown as he pushed his fingers into his temples to release some pressure. You knew he had been working hard on all his projects. Sometimes he put too much of himself in his work. You walked towards him. He finally looked up at you and smiled. He pushed himself away from the desk and pulled you and your youngest son down in his lap.

“You amaze me everyday.” He said as he kissed your shoulder and then looked at his son. He gently put his hand on Lyndon’s head and moved his thumb softly against his hair. “I’m so lucky to call you my wife and their father.” 

You smiled at him, “I’m the lucky one.” You leaned over and kissed him. “They are lucky to have you as a father. Someone who works so hard so they can live the best possible life. Someone who cares and listens to them. They love you so much.”

“They won’t after I break this horrible news to them.” He sighed. “I messed up Y/N/N. I.. I waited too long. Santa isn’t at the mall anymore.” He looked defeated. You couldn’t imagine how he was feeling. He was trying so hard to be the perfect husband, father, and worker. “They are going to be so disappointed.”

“Hey. It’s okay. We can figure something out.” You were internally upset. If he would have just set a little time aside, this wouldn’t be a problem, but you also know how hard he was working to provide for his family. Lyndon finished eating and pulled away. Jensen reached for Lyndon and the burp towel on your shoulder. He started patting him on the back. You fixed your shirt back. 

“I’m going to go shower and get ready and then get the kids ready. You figure something out. I’ll tell them we are seeing Santa tonight.” You said. “Is Lyndon good to stay with you?” Jensen nodded as he held his son close to his chest as he fell asleep. 

“Yeah I got him. Little man can help me brainstorm.” He smiled at you. You walked out of the room.

Jensen watched his son sleep. Guilt filling his body as he thinks about his kids not seeing Santa this year. He grabbed his phone and dialed Jared’s number. He listened to it ring a few times before he heard a hello.

“Man I messed up. The kids will hate me.” He said quietly so he wouldn’t disturbed the sleeping baby.

“What? They won’t hate you Jense.” Jared replied. “Hadley adores you, Tristan looks up to you, and Raelyn thinks you are the greatest thing to walk this earth. And I know you are the only one, besides Y/N, that Lyndon will calm down for. Nothing will make them hate you.”

“I promised them we’d go see Santa. I begged Y/N to let me take them this year. I waited too long because I’ve had so many meetings and studio sessions. The mall doesn’t have Santa anymore.” Jensen sighed. Jared heard the defeated tone when Jensen spoke. He sighed knowing how much the kids were looking forward to it. His kids loved seeing Santa.

“Shit man, I’m sorry. What’s your plan now?” Jared asked.

“I don’t know. Hoping maybe you had an idea.” Jensen said hopefully.

“I have one.” Jensen heard a voice. “We decorated the outside in a North Pole theme.” Gen said. “Who wants to dress up as Santa? Jared?” Jared nodded and then said sure.

“I mean Jensen did promise his kids he would be there.” Jared said. “How about this. Bring the kids by around 6. They can see Santa and then we can grab dinner together and drive the kids around to see the Christmas lights.”

“Jare, that’s a great idea. Is that okay with you Gen?” Jensen asked. Hope filled his chest.

“That sounds like a perfect night. Is Y/N going to be okay with it?” Gen asked.

Jensen kissed Lyndon’s head as he started to whimper. “Shh. It’s okay little man.” he said quietly to his son, but Jared and Gen heard and smiled. “Yeah she’ll be okay with it. See you at 6.” He said as he hung up with his best friends.

Later that night, with the kids dressed up in their Christmas sweaters buckled into their car seats, Jensen pulled the suburban into Jared’s driveway. 

“Why are we at Uncle Jared’s?” Hadley asked. 

You turned towards her, “We are going to see Santa.” Your kids looked confused as Jensen got out and opened the back door to help the kids get out of their carseats. You got Lyndon out and carried him around the car to stand by Jensen. All four kids were looking around in awe at the decorations. You noticed they added more decorations from the last time you were here. And that was four days ago.

“This place looks amazing!” Raelyn yelled. Tristan grabbed Jensen’s hand and started to bounce.

“I’m so excited. Let’s go find Santa.” Tristan said as he pulled Jensen’s hand. Hadley and Raelyn followed.

Gen walked up dressed in a Christmas sweater with her three kids following. “Who is excited to see Santa?” She asked with enthusiasm. All six yelled as the baby just cooed. Gen led the group to the giant chair where you saw Jared dressed as a Santa. You stifled your laugh since the kids didn’t see that it was their Uncle Jared.

“HO HO HO! Merry Christmas little ones.” Jared said in a deep voice. “Who’s up first?” All the kids lifted their hands. All the adults laughed.

“Daddy. Can I go first?” Raelyn asked quietly. Jensen nodded as he watched his youngest daughter walk over to Santa hesitantly before she turned and ran to Jensen crying. “Daddy I don’t want to.” Jensen wrapped his arms around her. He nodded at Gen to let her kids go first.

“It’s okay baby girl. Santa won’t hurt you.” He whispered as she hid in his chest. Raelyn being scared made Tristan and Hadley timid. “You’ve seen Santa before. He’s nice.” He ran his hand over her hair trying to calm her down. “Hadley, do you want to go?” She nodded. 

Jensen watched Hadley walk up to Santa. He smiled down at her and picked her up to set him in his lap. Jensen turned back to his youngest. He pulled her face away from his chest and wiped away her tears. “Daddy, I’m scared.” She said with more tears falling down her face and bottom lip sticking out. 

“I’ve got you. Daddy won’t let anything happen to you.” Jensen said as he picked her up and stood up to his full height. “I promise you nothing will hurt you. You don’t have to be scared.” He turned Raelyn to see Hadley hopping down from Santa’s lap and saw Tristan crawling up talking Santa’s ear off. “See baby. Hadley did it. Tristan is doing it.” 

“It’s not scary at all Rae. I did it. He smells just like Uncle Jared.” She said. Gen heard and laughed. “I’ll go with you. Come on.” She reached for Raelyn’s hand as Jensen sat her down. Hadley tried to lead her to Santa. 

“I want Daddy to come with me.” She looked up at him. He nodded and walked with her. He turned to see you watching with love in your eyes. Tristan and Hadley stood next to you. Jensen pointed at Lyndon and curled his finger as saying ‘bring him here.’ You handed Lyndon off and went back to your other children. 

“Hi Raelyn.” Santa said. “What can I get you for Christmas?” Raelyn looked scared but then pulled Santa’s head down to her level as she whispered. Jensen strained to hear but he couldn’t. “That’s an awfully nice gift. I will see what I can do. Is there anything else you want?” Raelyn shook her head. 

Before she could hop off Santa’s lap, you walked up with your other two children. “Picture time everybody.” Hadley and Tristan crawled into Santa’s lap. Somehow all fitting. Jared reached for Lyndon and held him as Jensen took a step back and watched as you grabbed a few photos of the kids with Santa. They all hopped down and ran to play with Gen’s kids. You pushed Jensen towards Jared. “I’m not missing out on this opportunity. Go sit in Santa’s lap and I’ll get a picture.” 

Jensen groaned as Jared laughed. Jared handed off Lyndon to Gen before turning to Jensen and saying, “Come here adult child and tell me what you want for Christmas.” Jensen rolled his eyes but sat on Jared’s lap anyways. Both smiled for the camera. “Raelyn wants to spend more time with you. That’s what she whispered in my ear.” Jared said quietly to Jensen. Jensen looked down at him. Pain filled his chest as he felt he failed his children. 

He got up and walked away for a second to gather himself before walking back to the group. You looked at him in worry but he shook off your look and walked to the kids. “Come on kids. It’s me and you tonight while Mom, Aunt Gen, and Uncle Jared figure out where we are going for dinner. Let’s go walk around the yard to see all the lights.” Jensen grabbed Raelyn and put her on his shoulders, holding onto her legs. She smiled and wrapped her tiny arms around his head and neck to hold on.

Jared filled you in on the conversation, but when you looked over at Jensen, he was laughing and smiling at spending time with his children. You knew that this wasn’t the typical Santa meet and greet the kids, or Jensen, wanted, but you knew this was going to be a night to remember. One that also causes Jensen to take more breaks from work.

[southeastasianists]

On the western shore of the Chao Phraya river, south of the Wat Arun temple, lies Bangkok’s small Siamese-Portuguese enclave, Kudeejeen. Within its maze of narrow alleyways that weave past aging teakwood houses lies a 250-year-history of cultural commingling. In that time, the neighborhood has been home to Siamese-Portuguese, Thai, and Chinese residents of different religions. This diversity can be seen in the local architecture, with the Catholic Santa Cruz Church, the Buddhist Wat Kalayanamit, and the Kudi Khao Mosque a few minutes’ walk from one another. The combination of cultures is also deliciously evident in the enclave’s sweet specialty: khanom farang Kudeejeen, or the Kudeejeen “foreigner cake.”

Behind a bright teal door down an alleyway is Kanoom Farung Lan Mea Pao. The dark interior of the family-run bakery features big mixers in the corner, several blazing charcoal braziers in the middle of the room, and the sweet aroma of freshly baked khanom farang Kudeejeen. Along with Kanoom Farung Pa Lek and Thanusingha Bakery House, it is one of the only three bakeries that makes the cupcake. The small, golden discs resemble sweet muffins, their flat tops adorned with pieces of dried fruit—usually raisin, persimmon, and winter melon—and caramelized sugar. Crispy and crunchy on the outside and fluffy on the inside, the cupcakes are not made with raising agents. In fact, for such a rare treat, the cake itself has a shockingly plain ingredients list: eggs, wheat flour, white sugar, and the dried fruit.

Although it sounds simple, spinning these basic ingredients into khanom farang Kudeejeen is an art that dates back at least 252 years, to the time when Kudeejeen was established. Navinee Pongthai, a Kudeejeen native and the owner of the Baan Kudichin Museum, which chronicles the history of the enclave and the Siamese-Portuguese people, believes the cake’s origins might go back even further, to when the first Portuguese traders settled in the capital of Ayutthaya in the 16th century.

According to Pongthai, the cake is the result of Portuguese settlers and their descendents struggling to recreate European-style sweets. “At first, they tried to make cakes with rice flour, since wheat flour was hard to come by. But the cakes were too hard,” she says. While many classics of Portuguese confectionery revolve around sugar and egg yolks, the lack of available flour and milk forced Kudeejeen bakers to adapt. “Traditional Thai desserts are made from sugar, coconut milk, and duck egg yolks, which are very different than what they were used to. So the Siamese-Portuguese tried to make a replica of European cake without milk and butter.” The result is a cake that is less moist and more flat, as it doesn’t rise up like regular cupcakes, but is still fluffy and tasty.

Khanom farang Kudeejeen is not the first fusion dessert nor the most famous among Thais. Many of the most popular Thai sweets can be traced to Maria Guyomar de Pinha, an Ayutthaya-born woman of Japanese-Portuguese-Bengali descent who was married to a high-ranking Greek official in the 17th-century Ayutthaya court. One of her most iconic creations is foi thong, a nest of egg yolk–based golden threads boiled in sugar syrup. Anyone familiar with Portuguese confectionery will notice the treat’s striking similarities to Portugal’s fios de ovos. Another classic attributed to Guyomar de Pinha is sangkhaya, a coconut jam that may have been inspired by Portuguese custard. However, her recipes did not include cakes, making khanom farang Kudeejeen a dessert unique to the enclave.

Though the cake’s roots lie in the 16th-century intermingling of Portuguese and local traditions in Ayutthaya, it is forever associated with its home in Kudeejeen. After Burmese invaders sacked and destroyed Ayutthaya in 1767, many Siamese-Portuguese, along with other residents of the former capital, migrated to the kingdom’s new seat of power in the town of Thonburi. Here, the king gifted the Siamese-Portuguese community with the land that would become their enclave in 1769. The plot was a reward for aiding in the fight to successfully drive out the Burmese invaders.

Also spelled “Kudi Chin,” Kudeejeen's name is a nod to a nearby Chinese temple and the local Chinese community. Diners can see the influence of these Chinese neighbors in khanom farang Kudeejeen’s toppings. Considered symbolic of health and fortune, the dried fruit was originally added to the cakes just for Lunar New Year celebrations. But the decorative, auspicious additions proved so popular that bakeries have since incorporated them into the cupcake year-round.

Thonburi’s time as a major hub was short-lived: The capital moved across the Chao Phraya river to what would become Bangkok in 1782. But the Siamese-Portuguese community of Kudeejeen stayed put. Still very close to the capital, Thonburi is now a district within greater Bangkok. Despite the staggering size of Thailand’s largest city—it has an estimated 10.7 million residents as of this year—just the three, hole-in-the-wall bakeries continue to make khanom farang Kudeejeen from their small, diverse enclave. For the Kudeejeen locals, they are a special occasion treat and a New Year staple or gift. For visitors, they are a great souvenir and a must-buy when visiting the area.

While not all of us have our own charcoal brazier, it’s still possible to make a version of khanom farang Kudeejeen at home with the recipe below.

Homemade Khanom Farang Kudeejeen

Yield: 10–12, depending on the size of your cupcake liners and muffin pan Special equipment: An electric mixer with beaters Cupcake liners Muffin pan For the cupcakes: 6 eggs (the small eggs used in this recipe were around 45 grams each) 1/3 cups of flour 1/2 cups of fine white sugar A splash of vanilla extract (optional) For the toppings: 2 tablespoons of assorted raisins and dried fruit 1 tablespoon of white sugar 1. Preheat your oven to 360° F and place the cupcake liners in the muffin pan. 2. Measure out all the ingredients and set them aside. As there is no raising agent, the fluffiness of the cupcakes relies entirely on the aerated eggs, so it’s important to move quickly. In a mixing bowl, add the eggs, sugar, and—if desired—a splash of vanilla extract, then beat the ingredients using an electric mixer until the mixture is foamy and very pale. This should take at least a minute; the mixture should double in size and be a little stiff. 3. Gradually sieve and stir in the flour (do not pour it in all at once). If you end up with lumps, whisk the mixture again with the electric mixer. Make sure to do it swiftly so that it doesn’t deflate. Don’t worry about it being too runny. If the cupcakes are thick with too much flour, they will become too dense. 4. Fill up each cupcake liner to 3/4 full and place the tray in the oven. 5. Let the cupcakes bake for two minutes before adding the dried fruit on top. Add as many as you like then sprinkle the cakes with some sugar before putting them back in the oven. 6. Let the cupcakes bake for 12–15 more minutes before pulling them out (check about halfway through and rotate the tray if they’re baking too much on one side). Do the toothpick test to check if they are ready. They might deflate and wrinkle a little afterward, but that is normal.

[cloveroctobers]

•ALLEGRA BIANCHI•

IG info/bio: @/theeallegrabianchi | 303k followers| Entrepreneur | bad bitches go to therapy thxz 🦭👄

(24) 26 years old

From Swansea, Wales

Ofc she knows who Catherine Zeta-Jones is...her mother literally resembles her and remembers people coming up to her mom countless times asking for a pic growing up, and Allegra hated taking pics for these imbeciles...mainly because the attention wasn’t on her

has a dysfunctional family...

her mother is critical of almost everything she does but at least she paying attention?

and feels her father is neglectful and only seems to be heard when she’s in his face

all they know how to do is scream at each other instead of talking calmly to one another

her mother is of Venezuelan heritage

And Her father is of Italian heritage

her father’s side of the family resides in calabria italy

he named her after his high school gf that passed away due to his irresponsible drunk driving on their senior prom night

Her parents do not have the healthiest of relationships due to her father constantly cheating on her mother in the past...leading to verbal and physical fights

also has a kid or two outside of their marriage because of his unfaithfulness and allegra learned to hate them because of the hurt her mother showcased

In the beginning she was only around them because her father enforced it, that she needed to know her family “blood is all you got in the end.” He would always say but that was bs

Would take her, her half sibs, and her full sibs on day trips/weekend trips in his suburban

Has three full older brothers and one full younger sister

Because of this, Allegra did not have a clear view of what love was supposed to be and felt that anger in a relationship is supposed to be somewhat of the norm?

Many times she wished at night in her bed with a pillow over her head that her parents would just file for a divorce already when their fights would get bad to the point things would get broken and her mother would h*t her father (once with a metal bat) and throw him out of the house

Has had the cops called on their household before and cps definitely has/had a file on them

Has been in family therapy before and is currently in therapy mainly for herself because of the trauma & how it’s messed with her spirit as a person

Loves? Cares for her parents from afar but will never understand their relationship and why they’re still together to this day

Can go months without speaking to any of her family members and be completely fine with that

Had her younger sis, Nerina put her PRIVATE shit on blast via internet after love island aired and completely cut her off since she is “a clout chaser and money hungry bitch who can’t take care of own her child cause she opened her legs to a meth head who loves prison” OOP

she only has a decent relationship with one of her brothers who’s two years older than her, Vito. They seem to be the closest out of the sibs and he’s the only one she bothers to speak to from time to time

She’s a “cocktail entrepreneur” so I’m guessing she has her own business where she specializes in her own cocktail drinks? Working in some upscale rooftop/penthouse bar where she successfully makes profits from her signature drinks or has a brand that focuses mainly on cocktails

It took years for her business to take off and hasn’t been easy, not one bit. At times it felt like everyone wanted to see her fail and she has openly spoken about her struggles as not only a entrepreneur but as a woman in this business where no one wanted to take a chance on her

That just lit the fire that’s already inside of her

Aries sun + Leo moon + Scorpio rising? (Personality vs how you react to things emotionally vs you’re outside shell for those who don’t follow this too much. I’m not too in depth about it but I do find it interesting!)

Or should she be reversed as a Leo sun with a Aries moon? Aries are direct, fiery, one step ahead of others, impulsive, and know how to take charge. Leo’s are dramatic, loves attention, passionate, loyal, warm, and have a need to express their passions, and scorpios are intense, secretive, mysterious, and work strategically

anyways, I feel like she’s definitely improved as a person over the span of two years? Or at least I hope she has cause everyone goes thru changes

And she was frustrating in s1 so I just know she had some deeper issues going on so I really think therapy is helping her ass I wish it would help me lmao

Being cheated on honestly made her feel like her mother, weak in her mind she was with this dude for awhile—3 years and he just up and thought it was okay to cheat on her? With his personal trainer?! Yet he didn’t gain any muscle mass?! The ultimate disrespect!!! but one thing she knew? She wasn’t going to stick around like her mom did

But she was bitter about it foresure. She ultimately wanted to corner the girl for messing with HER man but part of her knew she wasn’t the only one to blame. However that didn’t stop her for cussing her out via voicemail a couple of times while intoxicated

Allegra always strived for love cause she’s never really seen it before or felt it

Sure she’s had many boyfriends before?And their names didn’t matter not only because she didn’t remember them? But she never felt the spark with them in the first place?

Maybe she wasn’t meant for love so she kinda put on this bitchy front and always been that way with some shitty friends she had around her until she recently cut them off a year ago

has gotten herself into trouble as a kid: trespassing, and destroying public property, smoking in the girls bathroom, physical altercations, cutting class, being assigned community service, etc... all with these friends she’s had for years!

Before she met her problematic friends in secondary, when she was in her pre-teen stage she was involved in the handbell team and in the Color guard but hates to admit it even tho her parents have pics all over the flat

went away to uni for a semester and wanted to join a sorority but the hazing was extreme to the point she was sent to the hospital then accepted? Which led to more trauma in her life so she dropped out

A few years later she decided on online courses and moved out of her parents flat as soon as she could with the $ she saved up and did not leave in the house since it was not safe to smh

Therapy was really helping sis, she felt a lot better and was working on her deep rooted issues mainly the anger and hurt and never really realized how it revolves around her life. She was super thankful for her therapist and reshaping herself

Many didn’t buy it but she knew she couldn’t give that much of a fuck? She couldn’t. In order to grow you got to learn that you have to involve for yourself and not others

She didn’t like the person she saw watching the show back but when she came back to the reunion a part of her hoped people saw some sort of change in her—even if it’s only been a few months since the show then

Sometimes she’ll slip back into old habits, wanting and doing so by snapping on people and blacking out by getting intoxicated and knowing that healing is a process and valuing yourself is the exact same

has a toy poodle that she loves deeply

doesn’t have many outside friends after cutting off the ones that were toxic

is pro-ab*rtion and had one herself which was aired out by her sister online

has a cozy flat that has a lot of brick exposure inside, a navy sofa which is her favorite piece in her house, and a view to die for!! which erases the fact that her apartment is “cozy” which she uses to replace the fact that it’s much smaller than what she originally wanted. She dreams big ya know!!!

currently has a crush on her art teacher who resembles Adam Rodriguez

but also feels like liking your teacher/instructor is a bit weird? Even tho they’re both grown

yes she is taking art classes now outside of work to find something that’ll bring her peace and these pass months they have until COVID hit where classes had to be cancelled yet she was contacted to continue online but she felt her art was truly shit but he says art is subjective

She feels like there’s a connection there? But at the same time isn’t looking for another relationship until she fully works on herself first! That took awhile for her to accept after she fell into some relations with a few ppl after the show

from there she realized that she might like girls too? And got a little annoyed that it took her this long to figure out especially with the way she felt around MC and cherry

doesn’t like to admit this but her fav holiday is Christmas? Even tho the theme is majorly corny to her but it actually makes her happy?

Feels like that was the only time her family showed love towards each other, and even tho they didn’t come from much, they always followed thru with their traditions

and she misses them a little bit around this time and might be the first one to call them even if the calls are short lived and kinda awkward at first

Loves making gingerbread houses and cookies

i feel like she now embraces her forearm hair but still gets everything else lasered

Miss Allegra has inches okay?! But I definitely feel like now in 2020 she’s chopping that shit off into a pixie cut and when she posts on the gram her hair is usually always damp when she shows it off

some comments — jake: lovely! Jen: babe, ur beautiful! Erikah: 😍 Tim: how hot! You’ve got the whole resident evil thing goin for yous

“Did he just call me a virus?”

And she might get a like from mason that’ll make her feel some type of way

We all have to go thru some growth you know so do you girl!

You can’t tell me she doesn’t play stabscotch!

Used to be obsessed with social media way before going on love island but lately doesn’t mind disappearing for months at a time? You have to cleanse yourself from that shit

idk i see her being mostly cool with jen or erikah and will hang out with them from time to time? Maybe they experienced some growth too, shit I sure hope so

still feels something for mason??? But at the same time maybe it was mainly superficial since mason wasn’t fucking with her like that, not 100% but at the same time gets frustrated that he still doesn’t see where she’s coming from and it’s been 2 years???

She loves hard if given the chance and then feels like shit when it doesn’t work out cause it feels like she wasted a fuck load of time

she no longer follows him because she feels like it’s better for her spirit or whatever and she doesn’t need to see him with someone else

the only guy that she really interacts with is Tim, yet tim is cool with everybody!

Otherwise there’s no real connection with her and anybody else? She wants to keep love island separate from herself now because she’s not exactly the same as she was two years ago? And hopes someday people will get that

Probably watches those auction shows on the telly late at night when she can’t sleep, hoping and can afford some of those things one days

I feel like she has chronic migraines too?

Once had a significant other buy her Allegra-D in all seriousness for her birthday because it reminded them of her & thought it would help her headaches 🤨

Loves the snow, but hates cleaning it off her car! S/O to those HOA fees, bless it cause leggy’s deff bussed her ass once before breaking her collarbone and sued like a mf!!!

Since her hours are hardly consistent since she’s mainly her own boss, she’ll have late nights/early mornings when she returns home and has to shift days where she cleans the flat but when she cleans??? It’s best everyone stays tf out of her way

And don’t try to help her cause you’re doing it wrong 10/10 of the time, she loves cleaning and has dropped mad money on those super expensive vacuums

Only knows how to make what’s relative to her culture: arepas, penne alla vodka, and cawl but otherwise than that? She’d rather clean then spend hours in a kitchen cooking unless she’s making cocktails ofc!

also loves shopping for clothes but shoes are her fav things to shop for

Deff has a steamer over a iron for her clothes

Keeps eucalyptus and lavender oil in her purse at all times

posts mainly on her stories and made a deal with her supporters that she’ll go live once a month since she feels like she owes them that? Since she’s not as active anymore but she really doesn’t owe anybody shit but out of the newfound kindness of her heart...she does

Believes she got Covid before they all decided to do a shut down/lockdown of restaurants, bars, etc.. and her suspicions were proven correct after she decided to get tested

her anthem? Kali Uchis — Dead to me (acoustic version)

[sylvain-writes]

Guarded Hearts and Safe Houses (Leonardo x Reader) Chapter 3/9

Rated: T Gender Neutral Reader, canon typical violence/injury, light angst, strangers to lovers, supportive family for @melodiousmelodrama

You wake just as the sun comes up and in truth you’ve barely gotten any sleep at all. In the living room, Donnie, Mikey, and Raph snore soundly. Your father putters around the kitchen, making coffee and whipping up eggs for quiche.

“I imagine they’ll be hungry. It’s got protein and I’m sure reptiles eat eggs. They are reptiles, aren’t they?” Your father rambles when he’s nervous. Of course, a house full of strangers - mutant strangers - would have him on edge. “Gram will be up in an hour or so to watch the news and take her meds. Do you think… Well, no they’re too big to hide, aren’t they?”

“Dad…” you smile sweetly at his concerns, “it’s going to be OK.” Bitterly, you remember Leo’s reluctance to accept your family’s help. How he acted like it was an inconvenience to him. You remember the eager way he pulled his hand away from yours. “Have you seen Leo? I can ask him when they plan to ship out.” You doubt he’d want to ‘accept charity’ or ‘overstay his welcome’ or ‘drum up more debt,’ or whatever Leo is calling it this morning.

Your Dad points with the egg soaked whisk, indicating the rooftop as he catches drips with his bowl. “I checked on him. He’s a troubled young man.”

You roll your eyes and start a kettle of tea for yourself. But when you open the cabinet for a mug, you take down a pair of travel mugs without much of a thought. 

Looking down at the mugs, you sigh knowing you’ll bring tea for Leo in spite of the pinched feeling in your chest. Once both mugs are prepared and sealed, you take your jacket off the hook and head for the window.

"The stairwell works, you know," Father says as you reach for the window latch.

You give you father a shrug and accept the cups of tea he passes through the window to you on the fire escape. "Thanks."

"Don't be too hard on him," your father says, somehow reading your thoughts. "I think he's punishing himself up there, blaming himself for what happened to his brothers."

"Did Mikey wake up yet?" you ask with concern.

You're relieved by your father's nod. "Mom checked him out before he fell asleep again. They're all going to be fine. Could use some more rest though."

Father closes the window behind you and you make the climb up the metal stairs to the roof.

You find Leo slowly carrying out a series of movements. You assume it's a form of Tai Chi or Yoga. Careful not to disturb him, you take a seat by the ladder and allow yourself to be lured by the strength of his forms.

Leo turns, pulling his fists to his hips as he takes a wide stance. Facing you, he comes to a stop, expels a measured breath, and meets your gaze. "I know why you're here.”

"You do?"

Another slow breath. "I mapped a route,” he says, his tone devoid of emotion. “If we leave before the top of the hour, we'll have enough cover to make it to the sewers."

"I'm not here to kick you out. I brought tea.” You gesture to the mugs sitting beside you and cross your arms over your chest. “And Father's making breakfast. You'd be rude to leave now."

Leo seems invulnerable to your attempts at humor. "We can't impose ourselves on you any longer."

How can he think your family is trying to push them out, when all they’ve done is ask them to stay, to recover. "You're not an imposition. Don't you get that? Your brothers are hurt, Leo. You're hurt."

Leo walks over, and reluctantly takes the mug when it’s offered. "We heal quickly," he assures you, blowing carefully over the tea before taking a sip. His stubbornness, however, doesn’t blind you to his lingering injuries.

"You were dropping your arm while you did your karate thing. The left side was always a bit slower than your right. Tell me that was deliberate."

Leo rolls his shoulder. Though he manages to suppress a wince, his eyes go tight at the corners. "It's nothing."

"It'll matter in a fight."

"I'll be back to rights by nightfall. Krang won't attack during the light of day. Not yet, at least."

"So that settles it.” You smile. You’ve won. “Wait til nightfall."

Inside, everyone was seated around the table for breakfast. Everyone.

You pulled up short, seeing Gram's chair at the head of the table. "Gram, you're… in the kitchen..."

Grandmother purses her lips. "I got hungry dear and I could smell your father overcooking the quiche again."

You scan the room, wondering what her reaction had been to the mutants. "So you came out to help and..."

"And found there was no need.” She gave a light chuckle. “Donatello had it under control. Finally got the oven calibrated. And that Raphael,” she pet his arm and he seemed to melt under her attention, “such wonderful knife skills."

"What about Mikey?"

"Oh,” she says, smiling affectionately, “he's eaten half the donuts in the box."

Mikey scowls, powdered sugar dusting his lips and fingertips. "Hey, lay off. It's all part of the healing process. OK?” He stuffs another donut hole into his mouth, muffling his voice. “I was gravely injured, dudes. I need proper sustenance to repair the damage."

Raph snorts as crumbs fall into Mikey’s lap. "Yeah, too bad them donuts ain't cure brain damage."

"Uh huh," Donatello smirks at both of his younger brothers and Raph kicks him under the table.

“You’re one t’ talk, brainiac .” It’s a curious exchange. Raphael both poking fun of and defending Mikey nearly in the same breath.

Leo sighs at your side before addressing his brothers. "Get your strength up, guys. Help out where you can.” To your grandmother and father, Leo gives a small bow. “We thank you for your hospitality. You've been gracious hosts and your medical assistance has been invaluable. I'm sorry to impose ourselves upon your family for any longer than truly necessary, but-"

"But nothin," Raph says, swallowing hard to clear a mouthful of pancakes. You see Gram sneaking more turkey bacon onto the big guy's plate. "They said we could stay. Donnie called Splinter. It's all good, bro. Sit. Eat. Chill."

Mindful of his injuries, but going along with his brother’s playful spirit, you nudge Leo with an elbow. "Yeah, bro. Chill.” You know Splinter’s approval goes a long way, but you think seeing his brothers well and comfortable around your family has allowed Leo to breathe easier. He doesn’t resist when you push him toward an empty chair.

The rest of the day goes by better than you could have imagined. Who knew they guys were as obsessed with retro gaming as your cousins?

Mikey isn't feeling well enough to pick up a controller, but he's quick to offer insights and cheat codes for the game.

Leo spends most of the time fussing over his younger brothers. He makes sure there are snacks and water, breaks from screen time, and injury checks. It seems like Mikey passing up his turns in video games is really out of character for the guy. Leo watches him closer than the rest.

The concern Leo shows for his brothers niggles at your heart. It pushes aside the parts of him that annoy you to make room for growing respect. Affection for the man sneaks up on you, warming your chest before you realize it’s there.

Leo stands beside the TV, waving a tea towel in front of his brother’s faces, announcing it's time for dinner. You almost want to laugh at the scene. His brothers sprawled over the living room fighting over controllers and bags of pretzels, while he clucks at them like a mother hen.

But then something about it kind of clicks. You get it. You understand why he's stern and focused. He's taken it upon himself to be the responsible one. And his brothers are able to goof off, able to have these hours of fun, because of that.

"We're heading out after we eat,” Leo says as Donnie turns off the TV. Leo skips over you as he takes turns looking all of his brothers in the eye. "Get this place cleaned up."

Dinner is full of laughing and teasing, carried over from the evening’s gaming. You think you even spot a smile on Leo's face once or twice.

You pass him the basket of bread and catch his eye. You're grateful for the moment he spends looking at you, still smiling at his brothers’ warm-heartedly debate with Gran on whether or not milk belongs in tea.

It’s sad to see them go, but you don’t expect the guys to return so soon.

Donatello is the one at the window, not four hours later.

Just when you were getting water, about to turn in for bed, you hear a knock on the window. You jump at the sound. The glass in your hand slips into the sink.

Donnie keeps to the shadows on the fire escape. The news he brings is devastating. His eyes don’t meet yours when he speaks and his tone of voice sounds discordantly flat compared to the news he brings, but you know he’s telling the truth. There’s no way anyone would lie about this.

“The Lair, our home, has been destroyed.”

With an arm outstretched toward the kitchen chairs, you invite him to sit, but he remains crouched outside the window in the dark.

“We have to find somewhere to lie low. Leo will say it’s selfish to ask… that we can’t ask for more from your family… but it’s the only way I see it, that we can be safe and keep your family safe as well.”

Your blood runs cold. “My family? You think we’re at risk.”

“I honestly don’t know. But it stands to reason that anywhere we’ve been is at risk. We can defend your home, your family, if we are here. Or nearby. Perhaps there’s someplace-”

“No. Stay. Gran knows you guys now. I can spend the night in her room. You can spread out between mine and the living room. It’s not ideal, but it could work. Right?”

Donnie's eyes close as he considers what he's lost. “It’s more than we have. It’s more than-”

“It’s yours. I’ll talk to my parents. You know they’ll say yes." Shelter isn't the only help your family can provide. "My father will help anyway he can to find out who did this. And my mother, well, you know she’s fascinated by you guys.”

“Yeah.” There's a small shift in Donatello's stance that makes you retrace your words searching for the source of his discomfort.

“You don't like her poking around, do you?”

“We don’t want to be an experiment. A freakshow.”

“I don't think she sees.you like that, Donatello. But I’ll tell her to back off with the questions about your biology, if that helps.”

Donatello nods, but then shrugs. “I’ll tell her what I can. She's a doctor. If she's really going to help, she'll need to know.”

“Only what you’re comfortable sharing." You know Donatello has taken on the bulk of

medical care for his siblings. He's the expert. If he's acknowledging a need for your mother's help, there must be something about these new enemies, a new danger, he fears.

Concern fills the pit in your stomach. "Where are your brothers?”

Donatello's gaze slides to his right. “Mikey’s here.”

You peer out to see the youngest turtle perched upon the fire escape stairs, camouflaged by shadow. “Why don’t you guys come in?”

“...Cause,” Mikey says rubbing his hands together before giving you a stiff, lop-sided grin, “we’re takin’ you out.”

Your gaze passes between them and Donatello raises a hand to help you through the window. “Out?”

There's a graveness to Donatello's voice that makes Mikey's cheerfulness seem even more forced. “You asked where my brothers are. Well, Mikey’s here, yeah. But Raph and Leo…”

“They’re totally buggin, man.” Mikey's smile is still in place, but you see him swallow hard. You see the twitch at the corner of his eye as he struggles to keep his mood light.

Donatello nods solemnly. “You got through to Leo before. He doesn’t want to ask your family for more. But if you come-”

“I’ll come," you agree quickly. "Of course, I’ll come. Just… let me change clothes?”

Your search for a jacket takes longer than ever. Your mind races and your body quivers with excitement. It was one thing to invite them into your home after watching them fight, after seeing them injured.  It’s another thing to be invited into their home. No, what did Donatello call it?  Their Lair.  

You’re about to step into their world. A world of mutants and monsters. And you’re far less frightened than you think you should be.

[thatfanficstuff]

Impossible - 3

Pairing: Eric Northman x reader

warnings: descriptions of violence, blood

***

You stood at the back of the church, eyes running over the gathering crowd. You’d agreed to come to this event because Sookie begged you to keep her company while Bill spoke. Overnight she’d gone from being Bill’s girlfriend to being on a date with Sam. You sighed as you looked at the two of them sitting next to Tara. What Sookie did with her love life was her business and you would be thrilled if you thought she was actually done with Bill Compton. But you didn’t trust it. Sookie was too fickle, too quick to change her mind. You just hoped Sam didn’t get hurt in the process of her deciding what she wanted. It was fairly obvious her boss was harboring a pretty serious crush.

You’d thought about skipping out and heading to Fangtasia, but Adele would be disappointed if you didn’t stick around. As soon as you had the thought, she came out to introduce Bill. He of course immediately began laying on that thick layer of charm that he expected everyone to buy into and your attention quickly wandered. Your ears picked up the conversation between the sheriff and Andy. Bud was just bound and determined to pin these murders on Bill. As much as you disliked the man, he wasn’t guilty just because he was a vampire.

As his talk continued and drifted to discussion of his family, there was a subtle shift in the demeanor of the room. Not with everyone, but there were some who were clearly distrustful before who were now sympathetic of the life he’d lived. And you were certain, had you been closer to her, you would have seen Sookie fall for the vamp all over again. Poor Sam.

You lingered with the crowd at the end of the night and were surprised when Bill found his way to your side. “Y/N.”

“Bill.”

“I didn’t think to see you here this evening. I thought Eric would have summoned you.”

“He can try.” Your tone was carefree. You had no bond with Eric, owed him no allegiance, but if he called, you’d be at his side in a minute. But that was a choice, not a requirement.

Bill kept a smile plastered on his face as he nodded at the people that passed by. “What exactly is your history with Eric and the Authority?”

Your spine straightened. “I don’t recall that being any of your business, Compton.”

“I will find out.”

“You keep digging where you don’t belong, you won’t like what you uncover.” With that you left. You had intended to stay and help Adele clean up the church but you needed to put some space between you and the vampire. You didn’t need to give the town any more of a show than they’d already had. If Bill insisted on gathering information on you, he’d find answers. He was also likely to find himself at the end of a stake. Your father tended to be slightly overprotective when it came to people in your business.

Not having anywhere particular to go, but not wanting to head home you drove through town and let your mind wander. Pretty much from the moment you got your license, you drove whenever you had thinking to do. Sometimes for hours. That had been your intention until Sookie called asking for a ride. Apparently, her date with Sam hadn’t gone as planned. You rolled your eyes and turned the truck around.

Sookie was waiting right where she said she would be and you pulled up to the curb. She climbed inside with a small smile. “Thanks for picking me up.”

“No problem.” You waited for her to put her seatbelt on then headed for Adele’s house.

Silence filled the cab of the truck and you guessed Sookie was probably grateful for it. She didn’t offer any details of her evening and you didn’t ask. If she wanted you to know, she’d tell you. It wasn’t until you pulled up in front of the house that she spoke. “Gram’s got some pecan pie in the fridge. Want some?”

It wasn’t about the pie, it was about the company. She wasn’t ready to be alone just yet. And you weren’t about to pass up a slice of Adele Stackhouse’s pie. “Yeah. Sounds good.”

You followed her up to the house, the two of you pausing on the porch just long enough for her to take her shoes off. “I don’t know why you wear those things when they pinch your feet.” You had zero tolerance for being uncomfortable for fashion.

Sookie glanced back with a grin and looked down at your feet. “Well, army boots wouldn’t exactly go with this dress, now would they?”

As she said the last word, she slid on something and your hand shot out to steady her. “What the…” Her voice trailed off as your vision focused on the grisly scene before you. She flipped the light switch before you could stop her. The sudden burst of light made you squint. Sookie twisted from your grip and fell to the floor.

Deep crimson was everywhere. Blood splashed across the walls and the counters, but most of it pooled under Adele Stackhouse where she lay unmoving on the floor. You swallowed past the lump in your throat and pulled Sookie up off the floor just as Bill rushed in. You passed Sookie off to him. “Get her out of here.” Bill nodded once and rushed out the back door with her in his arms.

A noise at the front drew your attention, but you weren’t concerned. Whoever killed Adele was long gone. And if they weren’t, that just saved you the trouble of hunting them down later. “Who is it?” Your voice sounded rough and you cleared your throat.

“It’s Sam. I was making sure Sook got home and the front door was open,” he answered from the living room.

“You don’t want to come in here, Sam.”

He didn’t listen and appeared in the doorway a moment later. His wide eyes took in the mess before coming to rest on you. “Oh my God. What happened?”

You ignored the question as the answer was pretty damned obvious. “Sookie’s outside with Bill. Grab her a blanket. Call the Sheriff. I’ll stay with Adele.”

***

The police and technicians of Bon Temps were as competent as you expected them to be. In other words, not at all. You stood to the side and watched them fumble with the evidence and the body. They seemed to have forgotten you were even there as they discussed suspects and motive. And Adele trying to keep the asshole from killing her. As if she could put up much of a fight. Whoever did this could have done it easily and quickly but they chose to make it bloody.

You huffed in irritation and stormed from the house, letting the door slam behind you. Sookie looked up in surprise and you mumbled an apology before you strode across the lawn. You weren’t leaving, but you needed to make a phone call or two.

The first call you made was to Eric and you hoped he’d just answer the phone instead of playing games. You weren’t in the mood. “Y/N. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

His smooth voice instantly made you feel more at ease. Thank fuck he picked up. “I need a cleaning crew.”

The background noise on the phone faded. “What happened? Are you all right?”

“I’m fine. Sookie’s grandmother was murdered. It was…brutal. If you could get someone here as soon as possible, I’d appreciate it.”

There was a pause. “Of course. Text me the address.”

You hung up and sent him the address before quickly dialing another number. You didn’t even let him greet you before speaking. “I’m going to kill someone.”

He was silent as he processed your words. “And you are telling me this because?”

“Just thought you might want to know.”

“Vampire?”

“I don’t know but I doubt it. Most likely human.”

Your father hummed in thought. “Okay. Why are you killing the human?”

“He killed someone I cared about. Adele Stackhouse.”

“Oh, sweetheart. I’m sorry. I know you thought highly of her.” Your father’s sympathy almost broke you. You took a deep breath to keep from crying. Sookie didn’t need weepy you right now.

“She was a good person. She sure as hell didn’t deserve what he did to her.”

“Is this the same person that killed those other girls?” You kept your father up to date on your life. If you didn’t, he’d just send someone to spy on you anyway. You texted more than you talked but you figured this conversation was best had verbally.

“As near as they can figure, yeah.” You looked back to the house to see them bringing Adele out. “I need to go.”

“Be careful, Y/N. And call me if you need anything. I love you.”

“Love you, too, pop.” You slid your phone back into your pocket and walked back to the house.

Everyone was trying to convince Sookie to stay somewhere else when you rejoined them. Sookie was flat out refusing.

“I’ll stay with her,” you offered. Sookie detached herself from Bill and came over to wrap her arms around you. You held her and rubbed your hands up and down her back.

A plain white van pulled up and Bud frowned. “Who’s that?”

“Cleaners. If you’re done with the house that is.”

Sookie hugged you a little tighter.

He looked at you a moment then nodded. “I suppose that’s all right. Sookie, you call us if you need anything.”

“Thank you.”

“Those are vampire cleaners,” Bill said as the police and the coroner left.

Sookie tilted her head back to look up at you and you smiled. “They’re trained to clean up blood, Sook.”

“Wait. They have companies that clean up vampire kills and you called one of them to come to Sookie’s house?” Sam asked, sounding disgusted.

That’s exactly what you’d done, but you’d feed him a cover story to make him happy. “Actually, they are trained to clean up after a vampire has been killed. It’s a very messy and delicate business and they are good at what they do. And I didn’t call them. Eric did.” You raised a hand and motioned to the workers that they could proceed with the job.

“You told Eric where she lives?” Bill growled.

You laughed. “Oh, honey. Like he couldn’t figure that out on his own. Shouldn’t you be going to bed?”

He scowled at you before looking to Sookie, his features softening. “I will return later.”

She nodded, but didn’t release her hold on you. You glanced at Sam. “Take her up to her room, would you? I want to talk to the crew before I come up.”

You walked into the kitchen to find four people already making a dent in cleaning the mess. “Thanks for coming so quickly.”

“Of course,” one of them said and peeled off her gloves and mask as she came to stand in front of you. She offered a soft smile. “I am sorry for your loss.”

You licked your lips as Adele’s smiling face flashed through your head. “Yeah.” You pulled out your credit card and offered it to her. “Clean the rest of this level as well.”

She shook her head. “Mr. Northman has already seen to it and said to do whatever you asked.”

You nodded once and put the card away. “All right. Thank you.”

“He also asked that we bring this.” She handed you a baggie with a few pills inside. “Valium.”

You took it with another nod. “Just call up the stairs when you’re finished so I can lock up.”

As you headed up the stairs, you pulled out your phone to text Eric. Thank you. I owe you. It was a dangerous thing to say to a vampire. Especially one like Eric, but you acknowledged your debts.

A reply came quickly which surprised you. You thought it would be nightfall again before you heard from him. You owe nothing.

There came that tug at your heart. The one that reminded you of why exactly you fell in love with the Viking to begin with.

You got Sookie to take a valium and once she was asleep, you sat in a chair in the corner of her room. Sam stayed with you, sitting on the floor beside you as he called Tara. Eventually the stress and lack of sleep caught up with you. You leaned your head against the back of the chair and were asleep in minutes.

[blondie1locks]

Set in Season 7 Salvatore brothers brotherly love.

In The Salvatore Boarding House Bonnie and Stefan sat on the couch in the main room. Across from them sat Deputy Matt Donavan, a coffee table separating them.

“Look all I’m saying is that you need to leave, I’m not asking.” Matt spoke roughly.

“Look, Matt I appreciate this whole hero thing you have going on here.” Stefan said, waving his hand around. “But we are not the problem, you're barking up the wrong tree, while you're wasting your time trying to make me leave my home, the real problem is still out there.”

“Vampires.” Matt said sternly.

“Yes, but not us.” Stefan sighed. Damon slugged down the stairs. He almost fell earlier on the last flight of stairs coming from his bedroom, and he was beginning to wonder why they had so many damn stairs in this house. He was shimming down sideways holding onto the railing. His head was pounding in the back of his skull, he could practically hear colors. His eyelids were so heavy, they kept threatening to droop down and let him fall down the stairs, but he was trying to fight it. He could feel his stomach acid in his teeth, hunger pains? Stomach Ache? He just needed his brother, he tried to ignore it but now he needed help, and he was so tired that he didn’t even realise he didn’t like to ask for help. He felt like a child, he knew this was probably because he was sick, but his mind was working like a child too. All he wanted was Stefan, the same way a child wants their mother.

“Stef?” Damon was so relieved to see him he had walked 2 flights of steps but it felt like a mile and half.

“Hey you okay?” Stefan asked, lowering his voice. The concern was shining through. Damon stumbled to the couch and laid down in a fetal position, head in Stefan’s lap. Stefan began running his fingers through Damon’s hair.

“What’s wrong?” He cooed.

“Stomach.” He wanted to tell him the rest but he couldn’t get the words out. His stomach was running his thoughts at the moment. He tasted his stomach acid in his feet, it was bad.

“When was the last time you ate?” Stefan said, his voice was remaining very soft, he was looking down at his brother still running his fingers through his hair. Damon shrugged. Inching his face further down into Stefan’s lap.

“I ate a burger with Ric sometime.”

“No, I mean-” Stefan looked up at Matt. Looking back down at Damon he said. “Real food.”

“I don’t know.”

“If you don’t know then it’s been too long.” Stefan replied.

“Hey, Stefan I need your attention.” Matt said. “I’m trying to make this easy for all of us but I can’t do that if you’re not listening.”

Stefan looked up from Damon and glared at him then looked back down.

“Matt, what the hell is your problem?” Bonnie said, getting heated. “He’s obviously in pain.”

“I’m sorry that your murderer brother is in pain, but we have more important things on the list, and I’m sure wherever you decide to go you can take care of him there.”

“Matt.” Bonnie said.

“I’m sorry Bon, I’m not gonna take on any more of their shit as my problems.”

“Uh, sorry to interrupt but I’m gonna go get him some food so.” Stefan tried to stand up and as soon as he did Damon reached out his hand. His outstretched arm like a baby who wants something, but does not have the words. However, not a baby, he wanted Stefan to stay, but he was too tired to find words.

“Okay you can come with me.” He said helping Damon up. Damon made noises of agreement. Stefan helped Damon down the steps to the cellar, and he grabbed 3 blood bags from the cooler. 3 pints. Yeah that should be good. He helped Damon back up blood bags in hand, and turned off the basement light. He put the two blood bags down on the coffee table, and uncorked the one, sitting down, positioning Damon next to him he handed it to his brother.

“Slowly.” He said before Damon even drank any. Damon put his head on Stefan’s shoulder and started drinking the blood silently.

“Okay.” Stefan said, letting out a large breath and smiling.

“I’m not comfortable with him drinking that here.”

“Matt.” Bonnie warned. Knowing that especially while Damon was in a weak state and reliant, not to mention willingly reliant on Stefan, nothing was going to get between Stefan and making sure Damon was okay.

“What Bon?” He said straining. “That blood was supposed to save lives, help humans in need.”

“It’s our house, you’re welcome to leave if you want.” “Frankly I don’t like the ideas your proposing anyway, so why don’t you….come back...tomorrow...and see if you have any….uh better ideas.”

“It isn’t an idea, Stefan.” “You will leave Mystic Falls, and if I won’t leave your house until I make that completely clear to you.” “In the meantime while I’m a guest at your home, I don’t want to watch a murderer guzzle a bag of blood in front of my face.” “Honestly I don’t think that’s too much to ask for.”

Damon winced in pain. Stefan’s attention was immediately shifted.

“Hey, you okay?” The drastic change in tone was almost funny to Bonnie, but her best friend was in pain, so she hardly found it funny.

“Stomach.” He said quietly.

“Okay, come on.” Stefan said kissing the top of Damon’s head. They walked into the bathroom that was right behind where they were sitting and shut the door. Damon was crying, but he wasn’t making any noise.

“I’m sorry.” He said, hiccuping softly.

“Hey, hey hey.” Stefan said, rubbing his back softly. “You have nothing to be sorry about.” Damon looked unconvinced. “Belive me okay?” He kissed the top of Damon’s head, pulling his head into his chest, and stroking his hair.

“Mk.” Damon mumbled. Damon hiccuped again, and Stefan helped him get his face to the toilet bowl. Damon gagged softly but nothing came up. Stefan was rubbing soothing circles on his back, and he gagged again, heaving into the toilet as watery vomit and blood shot out of Damon’t mouth. He felt the tears in the back of his eyes from the forceful vomiting, and when it stopped his abdomen was still cramping from having pushed it all up.

“Mmm.” Damon winced in pain as his abominable muscles screamed at him. Stefan pulled him into a soft hug, and Damon buried his face in his brother’s shoulder.

“ ‘M sorry.” Damon said his voice muffled.

“Shhh, hey don’t say that okay, you have nothing to be sorry about.” Stefan soothed.

“Stef.” Damon winced.

“Okay.” Stefan said understanding immediately. He turned Damon around where he was left once again sputtering up watery vomit and blood. Damon wiped his mouth on the back of his hand.

“You done?” Stefan asked rubbing circles on his back.

“Yeah I think so.” Damon said meekly. He was very tired. Stefan flushed the toilet wincing at how much blood Damon had thrown up, and helped his brother off the floor.

While Damon and Stefan were in the bathroom this conversation could be heard:

“What the hell happened to you Matt?” Bonnie asked wincing as she heard Damon vomit again. “I realised what was happening, and you are going to too.” He said crossing his arms.

“That dosen’t bother you?” She said pointing at the bathroom door. “One of your bestfriends is in pain, you could be more sympathetic.” She said her face twisted with disgust for one of her former friends.

“I’m sorry I’m not friends with murders Bon.” “I mean I don’t sympathise with people who kill and hunt and enjoy it.” He said.

“Vampires.” She said crossing her arms.

“Bonnie they took everything from us.” “What happened to our little town, look at everyone we lost because of the Salvatore brothers.” “Vicky, your grams, Elena, Jenna, Jo, Liv.” “They’re never coming back” He said.

“Elena would have been dead after the bridge if it wasn’t for Stefan!”

“Opposed to what she is now?!” “Bonnie you are never going to see her again, you can’t change the facts.” “Your life is tied to hers.” “Caroline, for gods sake, do you think she wanted to be a vampire?” “She was my friend!”

“She still can be!” She said, tears in her eyes.

“No, because no matter who they are when it comes down to it, you and I are just food.” “Your wasting your life trying to be more than that.” He said harshly his words biting, but not really having any power over Bonnie.

Present:

The door opened and Stefan and Damon sat down on the couch again. Stefan grabbed another blood bag off of the table. He looked at Damon.

“Slowly.” He said again before handing the bag to him. They resumed their earlier position.

“Okay, because you insist on not leaving my house I guess you can finish whatever other bullshit you have to say.” Stefan sighed.

“By tomorrow at 10am I expect you to be packed and left.” “I dont care where you go, as long as it’s not here.” Stefan chuckled.

“Oh you are not giving this up are you?” Bonnie said shocked.

“No, I’m not.” Matt said. Stefan noticed Damon drinking the blood a bit too fast, and put his finger on top of the hole.

Damon was very hungry, he wanted stefan to move his finger, as they continued talking he began to (not obviously) chew on Stefan’s finger. His eyes glistened with the tears from the bathroom, and he looked like a small child. Stefan didn’t mind Damon chewing on his finger, he knew that how hungry he was he needed the blood, and was just trying to tell him to move his finger, but he didn’t move it. Damon needed time to disgust what he had just drank, and if he needed help drinking it slowly then he would help him.

Damon however was getting impatient, his stomach cramped with hunger pains, and he couldn’t even think straight. He could not hear the conversation happening around him but it was fading in and out.

“Matt think about this.” Bonnie said.

“It’s already been thought about.” he heard Matt say.

And faded out.

“Can you not have your brother sloshing blood in my damn face.”

And faded out.

“Okay there you go Damon.” Finally Stefan moved his finger after what felt like years. (It was 3 minutes.) Damon tasted the blood again. Content and eating he nuzzled further into Stefan. Stefan put his arm around Damon and rubbed his shoulder. Damon sucked gently on the blood bag like a child drinking a sippy cup. He was trying so hard to drink slowly so that Stefan would not cover up his drink again but he couldn’t. He drank fast, it tasted so good he was so hungry. Stefan put his finger over it again. Damon looked sadly up at Stefan. Trying to find the words.

“Hungry.” He said.

“I know but I don’t want you to be sick again.” Stefan said, rubbing his back. Damon began to chew lightly on Stefans finger again, waiting for him to move it.

“I’ll come back tomorrow because you’re obviously not paying attention.” Matt said as he left.

Stefan and Bonnie rolled their eyes.

“You okay Damon?” Bonnie asked. He didn’t realize he was being spoken to at first, and Bonnie was very patient.

“Mhm.” He said, still chewing on Stefan’s finger.

“Is he chewing on your finger?”

“Yeah, he wants me to move my finger, but I don’t want-“

“Him to be sick.” She finished

“Yeah.” He said. “I think I’m gonna take him upstairs so if you want to leave you can…”

“I can stay.” Bonnie said.

“Uh, okay.” He said not really wanting her to stay, but more focused on Damon at the moment. He helped Damon up the stairs, Stefan holding the two blood bags much to Damon’s disappointment. Once they reached Damon’s room and Damon was laying on his bed, Stefan placed one blood bag on the night-stand and gave the other to his brother. He got the trash can from the bathroom and put a towel on the bed, just in case of another incident. Damon hiccuped and that was when Stefan realized how fast he was drinking the blood.

“Woah, woah.” he said, putting his finger on top of the spout. Damon hiccuped again. Stefan put the blood bag down on the night-stand and Damon reached over.

“No, not yet.” Stefan said, rubbing Damon’s shoulders. “You had a lot at once.” Damon hiccuped again. “You okay Dam?” Stefan said, rubbing his hands up and down his brother's arms. Damon nodded. Bonnie walked into the room, he knew she just wanted to help, but Damon was going to be too embarrassed to tell him what was wrong if she was there, especially after she noticed him chewing on Stefan’s finger. Stefan sighed trying not to be mad at the girl who had countlessly stucken up for him, and sacrificed herself for all of them. Just focus on Damon, maybe if you don’t acknowledge her he won’t. He thought. Damon was chewing on his lip, it was obvious that he was very hungry, and when vampires are very hungry their mouth’s need to be engaged. (one of the reasons he was chewing on his brother's finger earlier.) Stefan just hoped he didn’t make his lip bleed and try to feed off himself. It wasn’t uncommon for starving vampires to try, but it usually tastes like shit and made them vomit. Which Damon had done enough of today. He could hear the blood shifting around in Damon’s stomach with vampire hearing, just remaining hopeful that he didn’t get sick again. Damon kept eyeing his pillow, obvious that he wanted to chew on the corner of it to engage his mouth. (again vampire hunger.) And Stefan just wanted him to do it so that he wouldn’t be in so much pain. ( completely made up by me but when vampires are hungry their mouths need to be engaged because thor fangs want to come out, so if they are chewing on something they don’t have all that pressure building up behind their canines.) Damon grabbed his pillow and Stefan was very hopeful, but he just held it in front of him as he held back tears from the pressure. He started to rub his upper lip, and the prt between his nose and mouth to relieve the pressure. And finally it was too much and he started biting his right index finger descritley. It wasn’t enough. Damon winced at the building pressure.

“Come’ere.” Stefan said. Damon slid across the bed over to his brother. “Get your pillow.” He said. Damon laid against Stefan, facing towards his chest, holding his pillow like a child holds their stuffed animal. Damon was too embarrassed to chew on the corner of his pillow, but he wanted so badly to release some of the pressure. Stefan pulled him closer so that Bonnie (Who was sitting in a chair across the room) couldn’t see Damon’s face.

“It’s okay, you can chew it.” He said quietly so that only Damon could hear. Damon shook his head. “You’ll feel better, okay?” “Release some of the pressure, you were massaging your lip, I’m sure it hurts.” He said stroking down Damon’s hair. “She can’t see you.” Damon looked up. He held his pillow to his chest and began to sheepishly chew on his pillow corner. It wasn’t obvious because he was chewing with his front teeth, not his side, but he sighed in relife at the sudden change in pressure. He was curled up to Stefan as he continued to chew on the corner of his pillow, Stefan looked down at him happy that he had taken his advice and happy that Damon seemed to feel a little better pressure wise. Stefan was running his fingers through Damon’s hair and holding him close so Bonnie couldn’t see what he was doing. Bonnie wanted to prove to Stefan something that wasn’t really true, she wanted to prove that Damon was as comfortable around her as he was with him, because she felt their friendship had been questioned lately. Damon loved her, don’t get me wrong, but he has his same front up with her that he does with everyone, even Elena. Sick Damon however did not have the energy to put up that front, so he was very embarrassed and vulnerable. Bonnie walked over from her chair, Damon stopped chewing, he took his mouth off the pillow and put it down. Stefan sighed, just when Damon was starting to chew it with force so that he would get real relife he’s too embarrassed to continue, of course.

“Hey Damon.” Bonnie said sitting down on the bed.

“Hi.” He said not looking at her.

“You okay?” she asked. He nodded, curling further into Stefan’s side.

“Hey um Bonnie?” Stefan asked.

“Mm?”

“I kind of have to go get another blood bag but I don’t want to make him get up so could yo-”

“Yeah, I’ll watch him.” He looked at her trying to hide his puzzlement. I had meant if you could go get it, but I guess that works too. He thought.

“Okay, be right back.” He stood up.

“No.” Damon said shortly.

“I'll be right back okay?” Stefan said. Damon was already embarrassed that he had involuntarily said no to Stefan leaving so he just said “k.”

Damon was so embarrassed he could just die.

“You wanna come sit with me?” She asked.

“No I’m okay.” He said. Damon’s head was pounding, he needed more blood, now. He looked over to the night stand to see the two blood bags sitting there. He stared at the one he had drunk out of, the blood was just sitting there, a little cork in the way. He could smell it, it was too much. He felt his eye-veins threatening to make an appearance, and he was just hoping he could eat before then.

“You hungry?” she said kindly. He nodded. Licking and biting his lip to try to keep his fangs and veins from popping out.

“You can eat.” She said. “Just don’t drink too much, okay?” He nodded vigorously and grabbed the bag off of the nightstand. In one quick motion he was uncorking the blood bag, and drinking it. He felt the warmth in the back of his throat as the blood went down, it was heaven.

“Hey, don’t drink too much.” Bonnie warned. But it was too late, he couldn’t stop he was so hungry and she didn’t poses the tools to stop him. He drank the whole bag in less than a minute, wiped his mouth, and leaned back against the pillows breathing heavy. He felt better, but worse. He was dizzy, but he was happy. He felt pain in his abdomen, and put his arm across there still breathing heavy. The pressure in his fangs was back ten fold, and he hiccuped as his brother walked in.

“Okay.” Stefan said putting down the the blood bags on the night stand. He then noticed the empty bag on the bed. “Did you drink this?” he asked although he already knew the answer. Damon pulled his head into his knees, hiding his face and letting a few tears run down his face. “I’m so sorry.” He said sniffling. Stefan was at his side in an instant. Petting his hair, hugging him.

“No, no, it’s okay you couldn’t help it you were just hungry.” He kissed the top of Damon’s head.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I’m sorry.” Damon said rocking back and forth on his feet.

“Hey look at me, it’s okay Damon, I’m not mad.” Damon sobbed.

“Shhh.” Stefan held him to his chest and let him finish crying. Damon had used up a lot of energy, and he was warm and being held by Stefan so he fell asleep with his face on Stefan’s chest. Once he was asleep Stefan turned to Bonnie.

“Did you tell him to drink that?”

“Yeah, he kept staring at it and biting his lip so I just thought he was hungry.”

“He is hungry, I just have to be here with him when he drinks it, because he’s going to get sick now.” Stefan said.

“I’m sorry.” Bonnie said.

“It’s okay.” Stefan said breathing in. Damon woke up from his restless short nap. He blinked a few times, and nuzzled his face into Stefan’s chest.

“Hey, you okay?” Stefan said softly. Damon huffed in the snot from crying and wiped off his nose and eyes with his hand. He shook his head.

“It hurts.” He said. “It’s all my fault, I was too hungry I didn’t think.” He said, voice breaking at the end.

“Shhh, hey hey, it’s not your fault at all.” Stefan kissed his head again. Damon hiccuped, covering his mouth. Stefan started to help Damon up to go to the bathroom.

“I can take him.” Bonnie said.

“Where?” Stefan asked, confused.

“To the bathroom, to throw up.” She said. Stefan looked at her.

“Uh- I think he wants me.” Stefan said as Damon hiccuped again.

“I don’t think he cares.” Bonnie said.

“Uh okay.” He said giving her Damon’s arm. Damon looked upset, but couldn’t say anything and risk vomiting on the floor. He looked back at Stefan as they walked away.

In the bathroom:

“Okay, you're okay.” Bonnie said, putting Damon on the floor. He leaned over the toilet bowl, sweating, but he couldn’t bring himself to throw up. He held it back as the acid scratched his throat bringing tears to his eyes that dripped into the toilet along with the sweat.

“Damon, you gonna throw up?” She said confused why he was obviously straining to not vomit.

“You're in the bathroom, it’s okay you can let go.” She said softly. He shook his head. “Come on Damon I gotta prove a point here.” She said pleading. He shook his head his face twisting in a ‘I’m gonna cry’ position. Because Bonnie is Bonnie and she cares about her friends she opened the door to get Stefan so that Damon could feel better.

“Stefe-.” “Oh.” He was standing right at the doorway.

“I heard the whole thing, vamp hearing.”

“Oh,right.” She said moving out of the way. “I’ll wait out here,”

“Okay, thank you Bonnie .” Stefan walked in and went to damon’s side. “You’re okay Damon.” He said rubbing circles on his back. Damon swallowed hard.

“I didn’t want to.” He said.

“I know, but I’m here now.” He said rubbing Damon’s back. “It’s okay shh.” “Just let go, same with the pillow you felt so much better right?” He could feel Damon shaking, he was nervous, heart racing.

“Mhm.” “Stef.” He said, reaching out his hand as he felt it coming up.

“It’s okay.” Stefan said, holding Damon’s hand. Damon whimpered. He gagged, saliva dripping out of his mouth. Stefan rubbed circles on his back. He gagged again, hiccuping and coughing. He pushed out a little bit of blood. He gagged, red watery vomit coming out of his mouth. He gagged again as the floodgates burst open and he shot out a stream of the watery substance. Forcefully he continued vomiting for a few more seconds before he fell back against Stefan, completely out of breath, and gasping for air. He was shaking hard, and Stefan pulled him into another soft hug as his body was wracked with sobs. Damon put his hand on his lower stomach.

“Dose it still hurt?” Stefan asked.

“Yeah.” Damon whispered. He pulled out of Stefan’s arms as he vomited into the toilet bowl again. He was left gagging over the toilet with nothing more to throw up.

“Okay, I don’t think you have anything left to bring up.” Stefan said, rubbing his back. “You wanna go back to bed?” he continued sweetly. Damon was rubbing his upper lip again, pinching it between his fingers. He chewed softly on his fingers for a few minutes. They walked back into the bedroom, and Damon who had forgotten Bonnie was out there was immediately embarrassed. He quickly forgot about this when Stefan grabbed a blood bag off of the night stand. The blood sloshed around while he sat on the bed. His gaze was fixated on it as his eye-veins came out, his eyes beat red. He noticed this and put his hands over his face.

“It’s okay.” Stefan said. Damon looked up, his face had returned to normal. “Here you go.” Stefan said sitting down next to his brother. Damon sucked some down, he couldn’t even try to drink it slowly. Stefan put his finger over the top. Damon chewed softly and sucked on his finger not knowing how to tell him it was in the way. Stefan of course didn’t mind.

“Bonnie, can you get some water from downstairs please?” Stefan asked.

“You have water?” “I thought you only had bourbon.” She chuckled. He laughed.

“Just from the tap.”

“Yeah sure.” She said getting up. Stefan moved his finger, and watched Damon suck down more of the blood. After seeing Damon pick up his drinking pace, he put his finger back on. Damon’s face pulsed with veins.

“I’m sorry,” Stefan said, kissing the top of his head. “Don’t want you getting sick.” Bonnie took a little while, and with the same pattern of Stefan putting his finger on and off, Damon finished the blood bag. He felt much better, and his face had relaxed. His gums still had extreme pressure on them though and he was trying not to have his lip touch them.

“Here you go.” Stefan said, handing Damon a pillow. Damon curled up against his brother’s side and chewed on the corner of the pillow constantly. He fell asleep after a while. Bonnie entered the room silently.

“He looks peaceful.” She said.

“He’s doing better,” Stefan said, rubbing his brother’s back. “He finished a blood bag.”

“Good.” She said setting the water down. “Look Stefan, I’m really sorry I just,”

“It’s okay.” He said smiling even though it was a bit forced. “You didn’t know, and you know Damon was really hungry, you couldn’t have stopped him from drinking all that.”

“Yeah, but I told him he could have it, I thought he would drink it slowly.” She said, sighing sitting down.

“He couldn’t even if he wanted to.” Stefan said brushing some of Damon’s hair out of his face. Damon’s eyes fluttered open after about 20 minutes.

“How do you feel?” Bonnie asked him.

“ ‘M okay.”

“Good.” Stefan said, kissing his head.

And all was well….Until the next part!

What’s up my homies? That was a cute chapter, anyway sorry I took so damn long I have been rewatching vampire diaries, and all the marvel movies. I am still not mentally prepared for Endgame even though I have seen it before so if you don’t hear from me I have probably died. I just wanted to say that this is going to be posted on Tumblr, Wattpad, and Fanfiction.Net because I am trying to expand my horizons. Thank you to my homies from Tumblr because you are all queens. (used as a gender-neutral term.) Anyway someone asked for my pronouns so...they are she\her or he\him depends on the day. (Don’t you just love gender fluidity?) I love all of you very much even if you are a serial killer have a great rest of your day! Oooooh and be sure to follow me on these platforms. (if you want)

Wattpad: Azzzzzzazz123

Fanfiction.Net: EdsLoki

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I write Marvel, TVD, IT, CM, and ATLA. but I will write pretty much anything.