#when they ask if i want children i tell them im a lesbian

[acediscowlng]

love how my sexuality at work is whatever is gonna get me out of the relationship conversation the fastest

[genderqueerdykes]

i feel like the recent wave of feminism is so terfy, whether it is unintentionally or not. i have many friends sharing those shitty takes to their accounts and calling men names like "moids", "nem". despite my many attempts to tell them, directly or subtly, they seem like just nodded at the moment i told them and then forgot it the next day. most of them are queers. and thats the ironic part. not to mention that one time where one of my close acquaintances share a post with "y chromosomes will disappeared after 2 million years" with the caption "oh god i hope so" even when they knew i was a trans man. or something like "if men can get pregnant they will have free healthcare" wtf trans men have been for so long and they don't receive shit?

"terfs dni" on bio then you parrot exactly what they said like ok i get it if i was not existed some of them will become full blown terf

im glad you sent this because on god yes, certain queer people are literally just proud to be terfs and rad fems right now. like it's straight up just happening, it's not speculative. at this point we have to call a cigar a cigar and talk about how people are quite literally just *proud* to be transphobes and engage in political lesbianism and intersexism openly and freely. like people are just actually proud to be this way right now

i get so many random asks called me a moid it's unreal LMAO the thing is, it's intended to be used against trans women and fems to misgender us as men, it's short for "femoid", but if people are also just straight up using it against actual men, then wow, people are just literally showing that they're a terf on their sleeve. like y'all, nobody uses the slur "moid" but literal terfs. they're the ones that coined it. why are you proud to use their language

i understand that terf indoctrination is very aggressive, and that terfs target disenfranchised people who have very, very low self esteem and get their sense of self worth from bullying and belittling other people. but the amount of people who are basically bragging about belonging to this edgy cult of violent misogynists is baffling. i don't know why people are so blind to the fact that rad feminists are literally violent misogynsts. nobody hates women more than terfs.

terfs think women are stupid, clueless, defenseless, and powerless. terfs believe that women can't defend themselves. terfs believe that men are inherently stronger than women and women aren't capable of fighting off men. terfs think that women are pathetic and weak. terfs think that women can't be strong or assertive. terfs think that it's impossible for women to hold a position of power in any situation, even over their own children. terfs believe that if you've ever been abused by a woman, it's your fault, because that woman is traumatized and is just "trying to cope with patriarchy". terfs believe the cycle of abuse is your fault, and that women can never be held accountable for being violent and abusive, because "women can't hurt people".

nobody hates women more than a rad fem.

like political lesbianism, the core of terf and rad feminist beliefs, literally walks us back a century in terms of queer progression and acceptance. the idea that only cis women are safe to be around, the idea that cis women can only be abused by society and never perpetuate abuse, the idea that trans people are a threat to lesbianism, the idea that trans people are a threat at all period... why do you want to become your conservative parents so bad? why do you desperately want to become your extremely conservative queerphobic grandparents who would've beaten the shit out of you for being queer?

sucking up to the right won't make them like you better. sucking up to these people won't make you "normal lesbians". that's the thing, people seem to secretly think man hating terfs are "the real lesbians" and everyone else is an invader. like people think the default, "normal" lesbian is a violent man hater. they think that's what "real lesbianism" is and it's disgusting. like that has nothing to do with lesbianism, y'all, it's all gender politics. don't ever listen to a terf or rad fem talk about lesbianism. they're not lesbians, they just want a "safe girls only club". that has nothing to do with being a dyke

anyway, thank you for sending this. i agree with you. and it really makes me quirk an eyebrow when people say "terfs dni" and then spend literally hours shitting on trans men, talking about how we're invading xyz spaces... hey, uh, trans men are trans, too. you're support to care about trans men. yeah, especially if you're a lesbian. like. you're supposed to support all trans people here, you don't just get to pick and choose which trans people you """support""", here.

[blacklegsanjiii]

Aahh your addition to actually girl sanji was amazing ✨ thank you

Its so funny to have them realising all the way to WCI/Wano, theyre all so silly. ALSO CHOPPER- He's new to the crew and giving them all a check up to get up to date with their physicals and he's all like 'dont worry Sanji your secret is save with me!! I wont tell anybody!!' And sanji thinks he's actually talking about the nr 3 burnmark (hc of mine that judge labeled all his children) so she's very thankful to him

Omg and the ship options... To many possibilities to choose from... Luffy going 'HES NOT A PRETTY BUT SHES A PRETTY GIRL?!!' Literally no fucks given nothing changes but he looveess the clothes and makeup nami gives sanji to wear (the liploss tastes like fruit and the dress fabric is so softt!!!)

Or sanami... Nami feeling attracted to sanji even though she's a lesbian and heaving a sexuality crisis cause is she bisexual??? But no she's still a major lesbian (or even funnier no attraction until its 'stupid guy -> stupid girl??!!!'

Honestly east blue poly would be funny as hell, so many possibilities

Also (sorry im rambling) SHES ZEFFS LITTLE GIRL 💥💥when she left with luffy, zeff 100% threatened the shit out of him (he also did this in canon but with his mind UvU) idk i fucking adore zeff and sanji protective of each other

And lastly??? All the regulars knowing??? Amazing, show stopping, ground breaking. Theyre coming to the baratie not seeing the cute waitress and when asked the staff says she has become a pirate cook of the strawhats

But whenever there's news its always talking about a guy and the wanted pictures are not so helpfull... So many possibility...

Have a nice day! Hope you had/have fun at your con :D

I'm so glad you enjoyed them! Fem!Sanji is fun to write, especially when no one knows she's a girl because how can you not know? She is Zeff's little girl! The dumb brat he gave up a leg for on a rock! She is his pride and joy, and everyone knows this!! Also, I love the idea of the burn mark and the confusion therein for Sanji because Chopper thinks she's trans masc when she's not, she's just waiting for her mom's genes to kick in more. Also the shipping, I agree with East Blue Polycule because you can fit all that in together in one go and no one is going ask questions. But I'm getting ahead of myself and skipping to the regulars first so that I can get some funny scenarios out of my head first.

First, Mihawk has watched this girl grow up and probably saw the fall out after shortly after Zeff butchered her hair. When he asked about it, he gave Zeff the most unimpressed look Zeff has ever received because good fuck he could have just braided it until they got into town? That's all he says about that because Sanji is still upset her hair is gone. Then some years later he's calling Zeff and asking when Sanji changed her gender and Zeff is confused because she hasn't but anyone and everyone are calling her a boy, even that crew she set off with. Mihawk is staring out of his office with the denden with an empty gaze as the greenhaired moron he almost slaughtered on the deck of Baratie is in his castle with one of his fellow warlords first mates and he's having a time but at least that hasn't changed.

Buggy is also probably really confused about 'Black Leg Sanji' and "his feats" and when Garp is arresting him they're debating whether or not Sanji would be a good marine until Garp calls her a boy and Buggy corrects him. Garp is staring down at the clown who looks back and is like 'wait, wait. Zeff's called her "princess" and you never questioned why he would call his son that?' to Garp's non-committal shrug of 'He's Zeff.' which, okay yeah, sure. It's Zeff but Zeff never used it in a derogatory manor. Sanji is quite literally his princess. She is the princess of the Baratie that Buggy used to do card tricks for because Zeff had no idea what the hell to do with kids.

Now onto the hilarity because East Blue Poly would be exceptionally hilarious. They all start dating and Sanji thinks Nami is going through a sexuality crisis because she's a girl where as Nami thinks Sanji's a boy and it's never cleared up. Sanji looks particularly butch because it made her life easier at Baratie, and she doesn't want to ruin dresses and skirts and blouses with cooking or blood. She also just never really wore make up unless Baratie was closed for some celebration or something, when she had a reason to doll up because she was so busy. Also she wakes up and goes to bed before and after everyone else so no one catches she's a girl. I think the hilarious exception of Ace clocking it in Alabasta and telling Luffy he's got the prettiest girl and the best cook wrapped in one is an amazing thing and Luffy goes with it but still asks why Ace called Sanji a girl and Ace is confused now. They never clear it up.

When Sanji is training and everyone is talking about forcing her into dresses Sanji is like 'I don't need to be forced, I love dresses! I just don't like ruining them with blood.' and coming back to Sabaody with a few dresses, skirts, blouses, more fem clothing and everyone is like 'you don't have to wear those if they make you uncomfortable' is sending some weird messages to her so she just doesn't wear them still. For the wrong reasons and everyone is confused. Like WCI when Sanji's in her wedding dress and fighting and mourning the blood on the dress and Luffy and Nami are asking her why she's in one because she doesn't wear that stuff and Sanji says she thought they didn't like them on her and the very quick explanation of 'we thought you were a boy!' is Sanji going 'How?' as Nami complains she had a sexuality crisis for nothing until Luffy asks about him, Zoro, and Usopp; Nami concedes that the crisis wasn't for nothing then.

Nami makes sure she's in a kimono like she and Robin are as an apology because they didn't realize that Sanji was a girl and was just dressing for convenience, she's not a boy and was a princess and she is loved.

Also my con was lovely but I'm so glad it's over.

[battybriefs]

Remember kids, it's only grooming when it's gay.

But for real heres personal story time. Let's talk about actual grooming.

I grew up in the Mormon church in the 90s and early 2000s. Like a good child, I participated in all the church activities including the young women's program. My parents wanted me to do it, i was told the church leaders were good people so I didnt question anything.

While the guys in the boyscouts and young mens program were learning survival skills, learning woodworking, learning how to fix cars, and learning financial literacy ... we were learning to do our makeup, can food, bake bread, sew clothes, cook large meals, and learn about changing diapers. It was hammered in our heads from a young age that our entire purpose in life was to get married, serve the husband, have kids and raise a family.

I remember when I was a Beehive, around 13 or 14, our ward was invited to participate in a fashion show for one of the local bridal stores. They dressed all the young women up, did our makeup and hair, put us in wedding dresses, and invited all the men in the ward to come watch us runway walk in the cultural hall. I was a literal child. I didnt even have tıts yet. Men in their 60s and 70s in our ward came to watch us parade around in our little wedding gowns. That's straight up a pedopagent and grooming child brides, y'all, and I didn't even realize it because things like that were so normalized in the church.

I remember sitting in the bishops office interviewing for my first temple reccomend so I could participate in the young women's activity to do baptisms for the dead. He asks me if I live by the laws of chastity. I was young, naive, sheltered and didn't even know what the word chastity meant. I remember him aggressively, explicitly asking me questions about my virginity- had I ever kissed a boy, touched a boy, thought about a boy, touched myself, touched a girl, thought about a girl, felt tingly down there, had a hymen. He kept asking me over and over if I was sure about my answers, and would elaborate on what he meant like he was fishing for a specific answer. It felt so dirty and invasive. In hind sight it felt more like he was trying to get spank bank material than trying to find out if I was being a "good girl".

Fast forward a few years. Im in Junior High, probably about 15 years old. I'm a closeted homo sitting next to my girlfriend in church, trying my damndest to hold my tongue and not let people catch on that I was crying. The young woman's lesson was about a woman's worth.

They opened up by talking about how we're getting old enough to go to college in a few years and that that's great, but a career and college education should be a hobby and not a goal. They stressed that we shouldn't put our educations and careers as a priority over finding a man, getting married in the temple, and starting a family. They said as soon as we found a man, we needed to drop out and become stay at home mothers. It was the mans duty to provide for the family. We were told that the reason God sent women to this earth to serve men and raise families, and that it was a divine and sacred calling.

The second half was about how lesbians and gay people were sent by the devil to destroy families. We were told if we "struggled with same sex attraction" we needed to pray, repent and try harder to be straight. That we needed to tell the bishop so they could help us get gay conversion therapy. That even if we liked girls, we needed to find a man to marry and bear his children. They actively encouraged gay men and women to catfish straight partners and trick them into thinking you loved them with the purpose of bearing children. Can you imagine how fucking awful it would be to fall in love and marry a person thinking they felt the same way, only to find out they're gay and living a lie so they don't go to hell?

The church advocating "its ok to be gay but you have to be celibate and single for the rest of your life" was a change the church made a few years later when Prop 8 passed and their members started leaving in hoards.

Meanwhile I've been to drag shows since I was in high-school. It's just a bunch of people with great makeup skills doing lavish impressions of Lady Gaga and Freddy Mercury.

Why is a drag show considered grooming but telling actual children that theyre going to be mommies and daddies when they grow up not? Why is it grooming if a trans person is out in public doing something mundane like grocery shopping, but it isn't grooming watching television shows that has love triangle plotlines that revolve around teenagers making out and exploring their sexuality? Why is it grooming when a children's show has a character with two daddies but not grooming when the children's show character has a mom and a dad?

If people really give a shit about grooming, they need to start in their own backyard. Start by deconstructing straight representation in media. Start by asking why its ok to joke that a toddler is going to be a ladies man when he grows up. Start by asking why child beauty pagents even exist. Start by looking at how your religion teaches and enforces sexuality. Start with comprehensive and age appropriate lessons about the human body and consent with little Suzy so when uncle Bob is being inappropriate at the family reunion she has the knowlege and tools to know whats going on, to assert her boundaries, and the confidence to tell another grownup what's going on.

[slutforsnow]

I swear im trying for chapter 6 of The Blue Note 😔 My fyp isnt giving more astv edits 🥲 anyways, to feed the twilight community im here to offer

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✨️A JASPER X OC FIC✨️

A Cowboy's Dream

Character info:

Name: Eliana (el-e-anna) Smith

Nicknames: Eli (El-e), Ana, Silly, Star Girl

Insults: Accident, Freak, Weirdo, r-slur

Age: 17

Birthday: April 6th

Blood type: O-

Mental illness/disorder: Autism

Sexuality: Omnisexual

Gender: Female she/her

Backstory: Eliana was born in with a semi-normal family. She had a father, Michael, and a mother, Terra. When Eli had turned about 6 months old when Michael realized he was gay and wanted a divorce. Terra went along with it, as she was a closeted lesbian. She couldn't stand being in a marriage with a man, so once the divorce was finalized, Michael and Terra stayed friends but went to live on their lives. Terra kept Eliana, as Michael wasn't sure that traveling in a van would be safe for a 6 month old, and met her later wife -Vanessa- when Ana was 3. They got married on Eli's birthday, with her permission of course, and have given Eliana the world and more that a girl could ask for while living in Forks, Washington. Michael comes to visit Eliana for special days just whenever she wants to see him because Terra and Vanessa decided that it'd be good for her to have connection to her father, despite calling him "Uncle Mike." Eliana was diagnosed with autism at 7 years old after she had a meltdown about having to sleep on silk sheets in a hotel that the 3 women were staying at for a trip.

She's lived in Forks her entire life and doesn't mind the quietness or rain because at night, when the rain clears, she see the stars and often draws pictures out whatever shape(s) she sees in them.

START NOTE: IM AUTISTIC AND CAN RECLAIM THE R SLUR. I WILL AVOID USING IT AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE SO IT MAY ONLY POP UP 1 OR 2 TIMES. If people are uncomfortable, I'll remove the slur from the story entirely <3

First Meeting

"Do I not look Italian-?" Eli asked, laughing as Mike was in shock learning the autistic member of the group was Italian.

"No, you look white-!! Like, white white." Mike protested as Eliana walked with Bella to her truck.

"Bye bye, Mikey~!" She called as Bella shook her head and ruffled Eliana's dual colored hair.

"So, I'm guessing you and Mikey are close?" Bella questioned as Eliana moved closer to her to avoid bumping into the Cullens.

"Eehhhh, if you wanna call teasing each other like siblings close because you're both only children then yes...? Besides, we grew up neighbors, so we see each other every day and let me tell you- being surrounded by loud neurotypicals hurts like hell."

"Really?" Bella looked up at Eliana as the smaller female sat on the hood of the car. "I thought they were ok- a bit better than the people back in Arizona."

"Ehhh, depends on the person. Since I'm autistic, and I don't speak for every autistic person, I have sensory issues meaning I can't handle super loud crowds or friend groups. But they were my only friends, so I sucked it up as best as I could and dealt with it. You, however, aren't autistic and don't really mix with the loud crowd and tend to avoid them as much as possible," Eliana explained pulling a marker out of her patch-filled messenger bag and started to draw stars along her left arm.

"Oh.. that makes sense, yeah," Bella replied after a moment, watching Eliana draw on herself. Throughout the day, Bella noted that Eli would do this whenever a certain blonde was around. According to Jessica, Eliana has had a thing for one of the mysterious Cullens- Jasper. Yet, he was seemingly taken by Alice. It hurt Eliana, so she took to drawing on herself to avoiding staring at him and causing drama.

Yet, every so often, Jasper would catch himself staring at her and he looked away, attempting, and failing, to not be caught.

The reason why the pair did this was because Jasper saved her life exactly 3 years ago today.

"Are you serious dude? The Freak?" A student inquired, laughing his ass off as Eli walked passed, clutching her books and not noticing the 5 squares of toilet paper stuck to the bottom of her shirt.

"Yeah! I mean, besides, it's not like anyone's going to stand up for the retard and won't it be awesome to humiliate it in front of the whole school?" The student's friend spoke up, grinning and seeing Eliana walk to class faster to avoid being seen crying out of distress.

Later that day, Eli had forgotten all about the worry of being humiliated. She felt safe and at peace. Besides, she had gotten to talk to one of her more mysterious classmates, Rosalie, today and she promised to help Eli get a good hair-do that would make her feel happy.

Life felt perfect and completely worry-free... until one of her bullies kicked her in the back and caused her to trip down the stairs of the building and fall into the wet pavement.

She groaned, rolling onto her side and hugging her ribs as blood ran down her face from her nose and her head spun in dizziness. She was in so much pain that she didn't process a car come barreling down to her until she heard a large crash and a familiar voice yell.

Two sets of hands pulled her up, eliciting a cry of pain from the younger as pressure was put onto her right foot. One of the 'strangers' whom had helped her up, scooped her up bridal style as she began to fall in and out of consciousness.

After a few hours had gone by, Eliana woke up, groaning.

"Ah, I see you're awake, Eliana. You gave us a scare there," a gentle and friendly voice said earning a tiny smile from the teen.

"Hi, Dr. Carlisle..." She groaned out, putting a hand to her head and flinching in the process.

"Hi, dear," he greeted, sympathetically and gently running his hand through her long bright blonde hair. The doctor cared deeply for her and she loved him like he was her dad. "Can you tell me what happened this time?"

"I- uhmmm... I don't think I remember a lot of it..." She told him, honestly and shrugging a tad. Carlisle merely smiled reassuringly.

"It's alright, you don't have to try and remember all of it now, but would you be able to give me a gist of what happened?" He questioned, sitting in one of the rolly stools while checking her heartbeat.

"Uhmm... I think I tripped down the stairs... and then hit my head really hard, but I don't remember anything after that," She told him, trying to focus on the light he was using to check her eyes.

"You tripped? Eli... these injuries don't typically come from tripping down the stairs- accident prone or not," Carlisle started, looking at her and she moved her gaze to her hands. "Are you sure someone didn't kick you down the stairs or anything?"

Eliana tensed and stayed quiet. She didn't want the senior to get in trouble, but her silence did confirm that someone did kick her down the stairs.

"Eli..? Come on, you can't stay quiet for this, honey. Jasper and Rosalie already told Chief Swan everything that they know and he's waiting to talk to you downstairs, as he's wanting to know if your mothers will press charges against whomever hurt you and, apparently, tried to run you over."

"He's gonna kill me if I say anything though..." Eli buried her face into her knee that she could move and groaned audibly.

"But he also could be behind bars. Freedom from him, Eliana, wouldn't that be nice?" Ana paused for a moment and nodded a bit, earning a kind smile from Carlisle.

However, before Carlisle could continue, one of the Cullens entered the room with Eliana's stuff. This one must've been Jasper, due to the fancy shirt he wore and his wavy/curly blonde locks were pushed out of his face that as Rosalie had described.

"Ah, Jasper, here with Eliana's things. Thank you, son," He said as Jasper sat her bag by her shoes and nodded, then went to leave, not making eye contact with either.

"Hey, Jasper-?.. uhm... Thanks.. to you and the other person who helped," Eliana called. Jasper had froze at the door when she called his name. He'd never heard it said so... kindly and softly before. There was no sound of reassurance or manipulation behind it- just pure gratitude and the blonde could sense that from her, even without his power.

Partially turning to face her, he smiled at her kindly.

"You're welcome, ma'am. I'm just glad to see you're not bleedin too bad," He said to her, with his Southern accent coming out before leaving the room. This left Carlisle chuckling softly at his son for sneaking in a thank-you to her for not causing him to go feral and Eliana completely in love with him.

[sugar-omi]

aww I'm gonna miss the Cove icon but who's the lady? 030

help i got so confused for a sec i totally forgot i changed my pfp but then I realized n pls I've never closed genshin faster...

the cove icon is such a staple tho!!! I hope yall recognize me without it but I trust my regular horny posts will be all you need anyway LOL

altho it may or may not come back some time after October yk, I was just tryna get in the spooky mood n stuff hehe but we'll see bc I am Crazy over this lovely lady here

BUT ANYWAY IM SO GLAD YOU ASKED HEHE THIS IS MY LOVELY LADY, MY CURRENT BRAIN WORM THAT IS EATING ME AWAY:

well.. ngl she's nameless right now. but she is my 3rd baxter child, yes I'm still on that bc yall ruined me w baxters kids being colorful n shit n now I like to laugh abt his child's fashion choices becoming progressively more colorful n crazier than his....

BUT TO INTRODUCE MY GIRL A BITTTT (also I'm literally drawing smth else for her n I didn't expect to reveal her like this but... she's everything to me n I cranked this out in like 3-4 hours bc I'm crazy)

anyway, she's Very into gyaru fashion, specifically n mostly kogal and kuro

she's looks like a cinnamon roll, will beat your ass!!!, I'm thinking she does competitive ballroom dancing like baxter or she can at least dance well enough to wear you out n tell you you suck

she's sarcastic, has the worst RBF of the whole family. at least baxter n theo look like they're just smug flirty assholes n aurelia looks more approachable in comparison to this lovely lady here.

also she has a heart shaped freckle. it's faint n you can't even rlly tell here but it's under her eye (I realize all my baxters children have one under their eye but idc. I am ONTO SOMETHING)

anyway.. her n theo are besties and baxter has to check in at night bc they'll be in her room painting each others nails n doing nail extensions or dying her hair (its 2 toned if you havent guessed, ive seen it sm n im obsessed n so she had it okay) like go to SLEEP YOU HAVE SCHOOL TMRW!!!

just thought abt it. she's obsessed w true crime, food, makeup, and stationary videos, and the stardew valley/the sims

also just decided she is soon for the ladies. I'm thinking lesbian n demisexual, mmm

COVE IS HER FAVORITE UNCLE ITS CANON

don't ask how, just know that it's true.

hates pickles. she is me. she is my child... omg Aurelia likes pickles. I was gonna say theo but he's a ramble for another time omfg I am thinking SO MUCH

anyway... ik you didn't ask for a ramble abt my oc but I will take this and run w it okay

she is very introverted but when she picks friends you are now 4lifers okay you cannot get rid of her n why would you want to? you life was a mess before her. trust. /j /lh

she's like baxter so much in the way she worries n has insecurities n stuff, honestly I think she inherited the identity crisis thing baxter got going on over there

also is the youngest and very much an accident (just like aurelia, dw they're FINE everyone laughs abt baxters reaction now which I will make a bit of later bc I'm thinking many thoughts abt the boys finding out mc is preg) so she's a bit spoiled bc her siblings were at least 9 n loved her sm when she was born

(imagining theo passing her to you or baxter n running away when she had a dirty diaper... pls thats so funny)

ALSO VTUBERS SHE IS CRAZY OVER THEM

yeah she is so my child omfg okay IM DONE IM DONE IF YOU READ THIS I SRSLY LOVE YOU BC I SPIRALED

now ik what it's like to jump at any chance to talk abt your ocs n how fucking crazy it makes you.... I am unstoppable now

[theshortolivia]

Do you ever wonder who your real parents are

First, thank you for my first ask ever! It’s super cool that I exist to people I don’t face to face know.

I’m gonna assume that by ‘real parents’ you mean biological parents. (Just a note I would try to stop using the term ‘real’ when talking about biological relationships it might offend people). Anyway, I actually do know my biological parents! I have two moms, one of them is my biological mother, and my parents used a non-anonymous sperm donor and artificial insemination to conceive me.

I used to be really uncomfortable about the donor thing as a kid, it weirded me out that there was a stranger involved in my conception. But I love to talk about this now for education purposes and as a fascinating story most people as old as me don’t have to tell (a two mom family having a kid not from a previous hetero marriage in 2000? pretty rare at least where I’m from!) so here’s some further explanation:

When my moms decided they wanted kids they actually chose sperm donation instead of adoption because as a lesbian couple in 2000 Ontario, they would have been pushed to the bottom of the adoption list and it would have been really difficult to get a child basically. So they went with a non-anonymous sperm donor. (This is better than anonymous for a million reasons I could go into another time if you’d like I’d love to talk about it from my perspective as a donor baby!) My moms decided which of them would get pregnant based on who wanted to, health, and family health history. They chose the donor based on a multitude of things: someone who looked like my non-bio mom so I’d look like both sides of the family, someone with good genetics both health wise and characteristic wise (no diseases run in family and family are very smart, creative), and because this donor specifically provided much more information than other did, way more than required. He gave us a video of himself talking about why he chose to do this, family and childhood photos of him, extensive family history including professions and personalities, etc. Then on March 21st 2000 (I’d have to check with my mom but if I remember correctly this is when) at 10am my mom got artificially inseminated and I was conceived. (I think it’s super cool that I know my exact conception date and time btw). Fun (not so fun) fact my moms were common law partners (mostly same legal bindings as marriage in Canada) when I was born but my non-bio mom was not put on the birth certificate out of discrimination (a common law husband to a woman’s biological baby would have been placed on the birth certificate), so, to have legal guardianship over me she had to adopt me. To make things equal my bio mom disowned? me and they both adopted me together! In similar discriminatory fashion, my non bio mother did not originally get granted leave from work and they had to go to court to fight it because a man would’ve. (My parents are trailblazers they’re so cool!)

I can meet the sperm donor if I’d like, he allowed meet ups on his profile at the sperm bank, so once I was 18 I could meet him. I’ve never really cared to though since I don’t see him as anything other than half of my genetic information, i suppose it could be interesting to see what similarities we share since I’m studying genetics but that’s about it. I do think it’s really cool I know my genetics so closely because it’s all written down though. Im half European Jewish on his side and have his eyebrows, and a mix of his and my bio moms hair!

I also know of the other 5 I think? children whose parents used him as a sperm donor scattered around the North America, my parents were in contact with them when I was a baby not not really anymore though, I also don’t really wanna meet them cause they’re strangers to me? Like idk it’d feel kinda weird to make up some connection to them cause we have genetic info in common.

Thanks again for the ask, im pretty much an open book and it’s super cool that I can give my perspective’s answers for questions!

(Sorry this was so long winded and probably disorganized, that’s just how my neurodivergent brain be)

[hualianisms]

15, 18, 26

thanks for the ask!

15. What’s the weirdest fandom you’ve ever written for?

warrior cats fanfiction when i was a child

18. Wildest fic you’ve ever written?

i don't usually write things that i consider extremely wild tbh

26. Is there anything you’ve wanted to write, but you’ve been too scared to try?

i've had the idea forever for a whole multichapter dr who AU of hualian (just consider it an AU where hualian travel together across the galaxy visiting different planets). xl is the doctor, a time god who is very old and very kind and the very last of his kind, while san lang is a mysterious "human" boy who becomes his companion but is actually a ghost king who also can travel through space and time. 800 years ago they met as teens when xl broke the rules of time to save young hc and young hc fell for xl and even promised to build a city of flowers (aka a hua cheng) for them.

i even had an oc of a lesbian supreme ghost who was once hc's protege and wanted to learn how to become strong to avenge her beloved. and xl's past companions included ban yue and they have a conversation with the doctor who quote "I'm not a hero. i really am just mad man in a box" but rewritten to parallel the scene where xl told hc in the canon novel "san lang, I'm not the person you think i am". and xl saves a dying star whale and hc tells him the dr who quote "if you were that old and that kind, you couldn't just stand there and watch children cry. sound familiar?" and looks at xl like a time god while xl looks away bc xl believes he's just an old fool who caused the fall of his kingdom and deserves to repent forever. and i wrote scenes of hc flirting with xl and hc telling xl about the story behind a constellation in the sky that immortalizes a boy who became a demon king to protect and avenge his beloved and xl doesn't realize it's about hc and him and...

i have pages and pages of plot and scene ideas for this au, i've only posted the first chapter so far bc multichapters take me a lot of energy to write and finalize the details of and fantasy/action are especially hard for me to write, idk how to write all the action scenes 😭 some day when im done with my other wips I'll slowly figure it out

(send number(s) from the 35 questions for fanfiction writers ask game)

[butterflywonz]

I miss you

And john is hot😔

I screamed so loud when they asked him to help me out of the rock pool... He was already keeping my fking crutch istg I wanted to cry in the water...

Nathan look like 🥢, I'm fr so mad at Rebecca for doing that bro... LIKE HIS EAR PHONES WEEE OUT AND EVERYTHING, but I could here him humming behind me which was cute, I mean I kinda have to be friends with Rebecca, cuz I'm nice 🙂 ( and she has a fucking Voodoo doll and I'm not risking shit) sooo yeah... Tortoise looks like he spells special in a specific way..(spechal) I have to stay at school till 5:30 Tommorow 😱 cuz MOS kpop society and also wp, so I might kms soon 😙...

So yeahhhh, also ,lamo is our thing, so is cumpy, so is 1bedroomapartmentguy, so is 🫡👀(Justin), so is " this one Mwah Mwah" so is Bessie chasing us, so is deep throating popsicles (Wtf was wrong with us…??) So is speaking made up languages at night *click click*, so is making fun of me stander 🏍️⚰️, so is thinking we're going to get raped by Justin Truscott, so is Mr kolesky saying penis infront of us, so is the fact that we've never kissed before ( we haven't?) So is the shirtless pics we got from Zachary (she's beautiful but she not my type), so is Abraham as a hole (wait no not like 🕳️, so whole?) So is his nipple tbh, so is going home late afterschool, so is that crazy looking girly telling you not to take pics of her man even though we were taking pics of Kakas, so is me accidentally walking into the unisex bathroom and getting the biggest shock of my life seeing Joshua (gr 11) and thinking I was in the wrong bathroom... And then having a conversation with bradlen... So is when we went on that ride at play land, so is when we thought they were playing FEVER at a children's birthday, so is when we got into the car ready to go home from said children's birthday party actual attractive people arrive, so is us randomly saying cum, so is that guy face timing us to jerk off, so is Chris's cock (I'm sorry) so is monkey as a app, so is Eric from Portugal ( more like Thabo from Nigeria) so is us being racist towards each other(and Fatima) so is the fact that zaarah gives off lesbian vibes, so is the fact that Willow makes me wanna actually rip out my intestines and shove them down her throat to make her stfu, so brownwon..., so is randomly doing antifragile in the middle of BayWest, so is shit talking nirvana cuz we just don't like her, so is randomly "AHHHHHHHH" when we see someone moderately attractive, so is pretending my knee is choking, so is the dislocation of my knee, so are these 2 year old bad boys, so are those yellow and blue woosan birds, so is pause games, so is convincing jaylin soobin died, so is me crying because.. "what If heeseung kills himself" , so is Daniel making me cry 3 times..., so is making jokes about making Jason more handicap, so is reading ff's together, so is the fact that this is so fucking long..., so is us shit talking your mother... With your father, so is lukho flashing us, so is us learning a dance and forgetting it, so is us disliking some idols... Just because, so is you making me come home crying in grade 5, so is us being not even being friends..., so is the fact that I would do anything for you... And also so is the fact that we PLANNED YOU RUN AWAY!?!?!?!?! love you babes, I miss you too.... Theres loads more but like....

ALSO ASBLF I UNDERSTAND IF YOU DIDN'T READ ALL OF THIS...

Im anonymous so like... I could be Anyone ...

So like leaked intak 😻 pics?!?!

PLEASE TELL ME NOWW RAAAAHHHHH okay bye ml

OH MY WORD WIFEY I MISS YOU SO SO SO MUCHHHH!!!

im so sick RN so I can't come to but pls tell the kpop club ppl that I wna join but I'm DYING WOOHOO

dude Nathan is hot

ALSO I'M NOT ALLOWED TO USE THIS PHONE ANYMORE THIS IS ME BEING SHNEECCEE AT MIDNIGHT

I love you sosoosososososososososo much and I appreciate the long ask (I read it all btw) I ALSO DON'T LIKE WILLOW<3

Wtf is ety coz Ik what what wp is and stuff but ETY? WHAT'S YOUR ETY WHATS YOUR ETY.

apparently the kpop club does BEAT stuff during the year too🐢

Ha yeah tortoise us hot:)

Love you babes I miss you<3

Btw "MY KNEE IS CHOKING, SOMEONE WITH BRACES, CURLY HAIR AND LOTS OF BADGES PLEASE HELP!!!!"

[logically-asexual]

Hi, sorry if this is too out of the blue. I'm dying to ask this to someone I know, but I don't want to make them uncomfortable, and I'm also scared to say the wrong thing. Because I like them, romantically, this could be even more uncomfortable for them since they see me only as a friend (which hurts, but I understand, and I'm okay with just having their friendship).

So, I would rather ask someone else, maybe you, if you feel comfortable to answer.

This person is, as I understand it, asexual and aromantic. They do not feel sexual attraction (we discussed what we would do if a famous celebrity we follow let us do "whatever" or said they like us, and this person confessed they would never even kiss the celebrity), but also can't feel romantic attraction. This last bit was why they can't reciprocate my feelings, even if I checked all the boxes.

But here's my question. They say they are a lesbian. Can someone be a homosexual if they don't feel any sexual nor romantic attraction? And if the answer is yes, then what does make someone a hetero/bi/homo/anything-sexual?

This is a selfish question, and I'm also interested in an academic level, I think. But mostly selfish.

Sorry if it's too much, and thanks for reading.

it’s not bad that you have this question, don’t worry. i understand your confusion.

i can’t speak for the person you’re talking about or for everyone else who is aroace but i can tell you my perspective?

in my own case i identify as asexual and arospec because i’m sure im asexual but i’m not so sure how to describe my romantic attraction. i do know that when i do feel romantic attraction, in some rare cases, it’s for guys. i just never want to act on it so that’s what makes me feel a little confused but that’s besides the point.

the point is that romantic and sexual attraction are messy because they can be more than just wanting to date someone. like. someone could not want to date anyone and feel almost no attraction to real people but maybe when they picture a hypothetical ideal partner they always picture a woman, for some reason, but they will never actually find a woman that they would actually want to be with, it’s only an idea.

or an aroace person who would like to have a queerplatonic partner* maybe only would like to have a woman as a queerplatonic partner.

*a partner in life that feels closer or more intimate than a friend but maybe doesn’t check some boxes of what a romantic partner does, like marrying, having children, physical displays of affection like kissing, etc.

or maybe they feel like they’re more drawn to women when making close friends in general and they use the word lesbian to refer to the orientation of their platonic attraction because that aspect of their identity matters a lot to them.

the same could be said about aesthetic attraction instead of platonic. in this case finding women generally more pleasant to look at or maybe finding that beautiful women are attractive in the sense that you want to be close to them and you would like to appreciate them like a painting or something, in a way that good-looking men don’t make you feel.

anyway the idea is that there’s no set definition for what romantic and sexual attraction is or isn’t, so people interpret it in different ways, and people find some aspects of their identity more important to themselves than others, so maybe the little or hypothetical or platonic or aesthetic attraction they happen to feel for a certain gender is enough for them to choose a label like lesbian or straight or gay or anything in addition to identifying as aroace.

to me you sound very polite and genuine so maybe if you approach this person the same way that you did me they’ll understand your confusion and be open to explain how they feel, or at least tell you if it’s too complicated or too uncomfortable to explain, which is fine too.

it’s nice that you’re still respectful of their orientation and the boundaries they might have, even if you don’t fully understand how they define themselves. that’s the most important thing.

[phoenixmosheh]

5/4/23

Elias Let's Play Don't Let Them Hang Me!

What is my real name?

Be careful you don't want to end up like Nancy

(YouTube jezebel playlist).

The Last Letter is silent.

Ask God to help you remember.

If you get close enough my face should pop up on an app but only for a limited time because stalkers.

5/16/23 update

Update for Elias to ease your mind and to disrupt the minds of our mo'fukin haters cause we are so damn generous at this point.

Part 1:

1. Environmental Intuitive Synchronicities

I made the above term up...be jealous... but it's basically when the things you have predicted

for someone else somehow end up aligning with your own life in real time to tell you when the things you predicted are happening (like what time it is) if you are not actually able to see what you predicted happening. i.e not being able to see Elias but meeting people in relation to what was predicted about Elias who are channeling what he's going through. Unfortunately, i have been experiencing channeling from random people that I meet who help me out along the way. signifying a prediction or rather experiencing what Elias is going through.

For instance...

Shelter sychronicities in March 2023

The Roommates I met at the shelter :

- The Woman named Brandy who asked to do a reading on me with a box of disney tarot cards. She later gave the tarot cards to me as a parting gift. (

- The Woman named Acacia (Freemasons) and she kept ending up on the bathroom floor due to a drug addiction

- The Woman Who Was a Lesbian on prescription medication to transition into a man who was wishing I was a lesbian) she also had a horrible smell when using the bathroom and would leave the room dirty to the point where I had to cuss her out and report that someone had a trash fetish to staff. Basic Betch I partly feel like God was trying to tell me you don't clean your house...she also had an HIV scare and had to get an emergency test.

- The older woman who talked to herself and had like multiple personalities and would cook me food and bring it to me. (Elias' Mom) She also was slightly racist which was odd because she was a person of color...which confused everybody in the room even the white people. One of the roommates who's name was dream told me not to take food from her because she went on a mentally unstable rant about how a man put blood in her food and now she has a blood disease.

- The pregnant prostitute who needed a plane ticket back home and was waiting for her boyfriend in jail to send her the money that never came. She asked if I knew where a specific street was where she could prostitute. I told her the staff would buy her a plane ticket but she said she was too shy and staff would take too long (betch what? Are you mute on street corners? ). When she came back from prostituting she bragged about how she made 100 dollars and though it was worth it. (I congratulated her because who am I to ruin someones happiness) . The second time she went to prostitute she told me an undercover cop almost arrested her but because she was pregnant he let her go. I handed her the email for a staff that could help her with a plane ticket. Smh. While also laughing in her face she stopped talking to me (boohoo im so sad) This roommate also told me she did spellwork on the man in jail and had a tattoo of Santa Muerte.

- The Shelter went on lockdown for a scabies outbreak the children were getting infected left and right. CPS also took one of my roommates kids away...

- I met Stacy (her name means fruitful)

- Staff kept asking me if the internet was working on my laptop because they couldn't access Google due to a security message that kept popping up

- My phone screen cracked so I got a replacement phone from staff

- The next day I accidentally grabbed my laptop in an odd way and it damaged the screen. Like the laptop could no longer be used...

- When I was minding my business at the bus station and a man asked me if I was married. And Gabriel told me before I went to start saying yes. So I said yes...and it almost felt like this man knew to leave me alone...I never seen a man leave so fast. He almost ran away. (Me: where he at though!?).

Honestly if you are lacking energy environmental sychronicities are the shit but sometimes stressful. You don't do anything but observe what you see and sense and put it in order based on the physical and intuitive data you already have. You Haters. No spells were casted at least not by me unless you believe in like "word magic" which is like me sending you a piece of my mind and thoughts of you. (Which I was nice enough to create a blog for so all parties involved would not have to guess what I was thinking...I told you fools and somehow you still guessed incorrectly smh.)

My First Time Being Introduced to Tarot

February 2023 was the first time I was ever introduced to tarot. A roommate named Brandy had a stack of disney tarot cards she gave to me after I had asked her how she uses them. Brandy was also receiving money at the time from multiple men and had an ectopic pregnancy. She was also being fought for custody of her children.

I also didn't know Elias was married or in a relationship at any time that I had known him. If anyone "basic betch" was ever trying to make me jealous during this 3 year period of menstrual blood love spell making and fake happy family photo time on social media I never saw one picture of either of you together because I had better things to research like how to survive without prostituting or how to survive without sucking HIV d*ck for food and a place to stay like Elias' copycat ex-wife. (So sorry to disappoint your ex wife Elias, I was never aware that either of you were ever a couple at any time during the 3 year period of energy stealing). Although, you can bet I was spiritually fkn him in my dreams waking up all wet and sh*t in my little homeless shelter bed not ever knowing every time he fkd his witchy wife in real life he was wishing she was really me. I'm honored.(Sometimes life is unfair huh?)

However, the month of Feburary 2023 was the month that God allowed me to understand why someone as smart as me couldn't seem to get out of f'kn poverty after years of working to provide for myself without the help of a man or any co-signers.

Tarot readings started populating on my YouTube feed as a suggestion...i never searched for tarot readings not once...not ever. Through observation God began revealing to me that tarot readings were one of the reasons I seemed to be stuck in a repetitve cycle of poverty and abusive relationships and having to rely on a failing government system and its immoral society for help. (These streets miss you hoe) As I studied tarot readers on youtube...I found out people could get information about you in the spirit and possibly steal the energy of others unbeknownst to them while keeping them in a cycle that is old or of the energy of the energy thief.

Which caused me to think back to the only person (Elias) that I talked to about everything before my life started falling apart in 2020...all my other relationships were surface level and travel/party mates who did not know enough about me to steal my energy annnddd I never met anyone that crazy or evil before honestly. So thank you again for creating awareness and destroying what little innocence I probably had left... so that I would not give two f*cks about what you're currently going through.

Anyway I started looking back at old text from Elias before we lost contact in 2020. My experience in the first homeless shelter I stayed at where I experienced synchronicities but was not as in tune spiritually back then...it's amazing how fast your spiritual gifts advance when your in constant fight or flight:

2020 Text Messages Synchronicities to Elias:

1. The mentally unstable girl I met in the shelter who could only go an hour at a time without getting on her knees with a rosary to pray. At night...she would leave the shelter to go prostitute or strip at a nightclub. Before I left the shelter she said she wanted to remember me and took my picture with her phone without asking. We got in an argument because she didn't want to delete the picture.

2. My family left me for dead in the middle of nowhere after a car accident ...the nearest rental car destination was 2 hours away and I had no money. A random stranger who saw me get in the car accident actually paid for my hotel and then took me in her car on a 2 hour journey to a car rental place the next day. (Not family a total fkn stranger and she was poor with two kids)! When I called my family even though they had the money to help me they gave me an ultimatum. They would help me if I did what they said and came back home. When I said no...I found out they secretly were hoping I would die out there...I spent 2 1/2 of those years trying to convince them I wasn't a bad person for not doing what they wanted me to do...I would blame it on spell work but I was covering them which meant the spell work would only hit me. It took me 2 years to accept my family didn't really care about me. And when i got sick a relative thought my skin burning off my body was God punishing me because i told an elder not to disresepxt me in a group chat when clearly it was disrespect. I dont know how people go to places like church and read the bible and stories like the book of Job and automatically default to God must be punishing you. Little did they know ...my not returning home was for their benefit and for their safety and also to reveal to me just how much they actually did not give a f*ck if I lived or died.

So I cut them off...because wth...you Narcissist? It took me 2 years to stop calling them because I was so indenial that they DID NOT GIVE A F*k ABOUT ME...once I stopped being a robot playing by the rules of the family it became quite clear that you can always count on family (*sarcasm ...I would reccommend families test this theory asap...)

3. Elias made a joke about a big headed son I would have after I made fun of his forehead.

(God said to jog your memory...some of the evidence still exist on my phone...now I know why)

This was God using you to subconsciously channel to me what is prophesied to happen.

So if Elias was wondering if I knew he was being played this whole time by family and friends as a sick joke..no. I was too busy figuring out that I too was being played. Anyone who says spells are not real and God will block everything your enemies do so it wont touch you...its not entirely true; if God is using it to train you ... I have to hand it to the basic betch she got me good it's been surreal I can't wait for this energy swap to fully take effect in my life.

Side note:

When the random man you're staying with until you meet your husband just gave you the keys to his house and has only known you for 3 days. I don't know whether to say thank you or run.

Part 2:

So when I left the shelter ...

I sat at a bus station for several hours like a dumb little decoy. And sure enough a man named Jose...Hi Jose. Waited like a weirdo from 10 ft away smiling awkwardly at me while I talked to an old lady who said I should model. When the old lady left Jose came over and asked me what I do for work and invited me to his hotel. As much as I wanted to go to that hotel...I declined mainly because I'm not a prostitute and ultimately because the tattoo on his hand gave him away. Idiot.

God prepares me ahead of time to know what to look for and when to leave...so I usually am already looking for signs when I meet people.

God can use something as simple as scenes from movies to help prepare or notify you ...

I found a hospital and spent the whole day sitting in the hosptial lobby charging my electronics not knowing a man was watching me until he came and gave me a snickers and told me he had been watching me. I do give out my many phone numbers sometimes just in case I need help from locals. But found out this man was a stalker .

Fast Forward a few days after losing the stalker ... I am currently sleeping on a man's couch who just got out of a polygamous relationship in March of 2023. Although he asked to cuddle after day 7 of meeting him, I declined, and we just watched a movie instead I learned that he cheated on his gf and has panic attacked over the guilt...This man is also into IT and gave me a lesson on IP addresses and VPNs allows me to use his work computer. If you're wondering how I met him, it wasn't in a strip club or off the street. I got kicked out of a hospital emergency room after staying there for 2 days after I left the last shelter. The lobby and cafeteria is open in the daytime but the emergency room is obviously opened all night. My enemies would be happy to know the head nurse at the hotel threatened to call security and kicked me out on that full moon. So i ended up sitting on a bench in the cold outside the hospital from 8pm-3am. A security car drove up to where I was sitting, and I thought I was going to be escorted off the premises lol. However, a man and woman security guard couple who were like... poor philanthropist booked me into a hotel after I told them a sob story about how I haven't slept in 3 days...they took me out to eat and dropped me off at a library where i read a book about "Preparing for Multiples smh". I signed up for a gym membership so i could shower. The security guard couple texted me and told me they booked me into a hotel for 3 days. During my 3 day stay, the woman security guard texted me about a friend interested in housing a refugee for a while. This friend was the recovering ex-polygamous narcissist i mentioned previously. Who just so happened to know self-defense and taught me how to break free from a choke hold. Crazy right? Although he drives me around to grocery stores and I cook and clean like a housewife as a thank you. I've already been through this repetitive cycle several times and know that him kissing my hand in the car spontaneously and blowing up on me when an outing did not turn into a date is a red flag that I am going to have to leave soon or die trying. This man also found out I'm not kissing his a$$ for a place to stay. Did I mention one of the security guards are waiting on a lawsuit and the victims a settlement. One of them may be going to jail.

The security guard donated all her painting supplies to me (I used to paint for fun before this) So I paint on the patio or in this man's garage for now. I think I am going to try and sell it.

I shared this to give some examples of environmental intuitive synchronicities...just because you have favor with people doesn't mean your life is always easy. Many people would stop believing in God if they went through one day of this kind of favor. I hope this made sense because I am sleepy and not going to read what I wrote.

You're Welcome

5/20/23

Soooooo...basic betch are you still watching? Lmao. I would stop if I were you. So I know we are not friends but I heard you wish we were...if you still have brain function which I hope you do because I mean I want you to have the experience that you wanted me to have and it in no way includes dying...you would really have to enjoy suffering in order to relate to the kind of experience I am referencing. Quick Question? Have you been having experiences that remind you of your life before you started stealing things like OH... I don't know my business ideas, wardrobe, hairstyles, pictures, mannerisms, the idea of giving birth to a baby with my husband?

I have! Which means if it's not already happening to you, I'm excited to share with you that it's coming. (*Pops champagne)

For example, on the new moon the man that is housing me took me out to an open mic night I found that was free entry (free because he expressed he was broke and because I still know how to have fun doing free things without making someone else's financial hardship worse or taking advantage of the fact that they could possibly go broke trying to impress me; due to my consideration he was able to afford the wine I wanted on the menu " The Sun Goddess." If I were you I would hurry and try to copy my drink of choice before you have to revert back to your sad unthinking ways to get what you want in life... sexual favors. (Anyone else into plum wines?) He also pointed out some expensive brand name outlets while driving... no shade to anyone who likes expensive brand names... I like long-lasting clothing and what not...but the only brand name I like is called "cute" meaning I don't care if it's from the thrift store, a boutique or a big brand...if it's cute on me then I wear it...if its comfortable i wear it...I make the clothes...the clothes don't make me...so when i take them off I'm still "cute" because I'm still me (my own personal trend) its not cliche you're about to find out hoe. You're welcome for these free tips betch. (He did tell me I have expensive tastebuds in the grocery store though I like things like medjool dates, almonds, yogurt pretzels, teas, goat cheese, uhmmmmm and a variety of food seasonings so my food doesn't taste like yours obviously.

Anyway... I call my style of dress "sophisticated sexy" (i can't tell if she's a prostitute or a teacher so I'm going to go with until I ask). This started a conversation where the man I am staying with who channels (reminds me of) Elias' old energy. This man has also been in a polygamous relationship with past sex workers and has apparently been a stripper before. What are the odds? It feels like I am practicing for the real thing (Elias). So I said something along the lines of "Do I look like a prostitute?" And he was like "if you do ...it's okay, I used to work in the sex industry and it's really just something people choose to do to get money.... they are not bad people, I don't think we should judge sex workers." And it triggered me because it kind of reminded me of how rumors get spread by basic betches like you. So I talked to him about the false rumor you spread about me being a prostitute. His response "well it could have been a compliment." And I responded it could be a compliment, if that is what that person has invested their time and life into becoming. But a lie is a lie...and when we call out lies it does not mean we are judging an industry or hating on it. I had to break this down to him in layman's terms he works in IT as backend developer.

What if a rumor was spread about you in the IT industry? The lie is you are a web designer (front-end developer aka prostitute). So now you are attracting clients who think you are a web designer (prostitute) when you know damn well you invested time into programming languages because it's your preference nothing against web designers (prostitutes) as individuals, as long as no individual web designer (prostitute) is spreading rumors about you being something that you are not ...the relationship is kosher you really don't give a f*uck what web designers (prostitutes) do they don't pay your bills and you are not paying theirs. You just know you are a backend web developer who programs computer languages and would like people to grasp this concept because its the mo fkn truth and thinking otherwise is playing with your money... so heck yes you are going to be irritated if people try to convince people on purpose that you are a web designer (prostitute).

Whether it is a compliment or not...why would anyone claim to be something they are not especially in this circumstance? Someone telling the truth about themselves and getting pissed off when correcting someone else's false perception of them does not mean they are throwing hate at a whole industry. If I know I am not gay and correct anyone who says that I am gay with I am straight...it's no hate towards that community of people. You just don't want to lick the same genitalia as your own...why you mad though crazy?

I would also say that even if the virgin backend developer looked like they were too attractive and dressed more promiscuous than the basic betch web designers (prostitute) who have already had sex with the whole office and then some. This does not negate the fact that the backend developer is still a virgin, who's a badass at programming languages and is choosing to never be a web designer (prostitute) and so would prefer to renounce the web designer (prostitute) title as to not be mistaken for a web designer (prostitute).

Anyway...So earlier today this man took me to the movies we saw John Wick. Spoiler alert at the end it reveals his wife's name which is Helen, we also met a Helen before the movie. The name Helen means light. I told the guy who is very much on the side of scientific only beliefs to look up the word Helen. Metaphorically...John Wick dies but finally after missing his wife for the past 3 movies (3 years) saw the light dies (ego death) ...anyone betting on this couple's resurrection??? (Raises hand)

Then we went to a Herbal Tea shop and a Botanical Garden. Then he surprised me with tickets to go kayaking, zip lining was closed. Basic betch please tell me you are having a better experience at this point? I mean I am going to be completely honest there are times I feel pretty vulnerable staying with random strangers who could at any moment decide to take advantage of my disadvantaged state (no home, no family, no friends, no money etc.) and rape, choke me out for running my smart mouth or treat me like a god damn slave...a risk I unfortunately have to take etc. But I think we both know when this energy switch fully takes effect...the positive favor & resources I get from doing so will not be the same for you. Why?

1. You are about to reap what you sow for others. (I do hope playing in my energy was worth it and somewhere in your delusional soul you decided to sow something nice regarding someone besides yourself for once) IT doesn't even have to be me honestly.

2. I told you to apologize to my man hoe smh.

3. You're not me...Haha.

Thank you basic betch for heightening my self-esteem. If not for you I would not have known I had haters because of my appearance. Apparently, I am attractive and a threat but didn't notice. You've helped train me well smh. Word of Advice: if you ever have the chance again maybe just ask for my beauty care routine instead of trying to kill me for looks. I have literally invested in beauty products from overseas for my friends struggling with specific skin issues before paying my own bills! Why? because I want them to feel beautiful too...

7 Original Kingdoms 7 original Tribes 7 original blood-types

By the way basic betch I keep hearing you say things like "betch I'll never bow to you" and then you start calling out to Santa Muerte. I don't think you understand what is happening. Santa Muerte is my betch. Which makes you my betch now. Spiritual Rules 101: if a sacrifice is not sacrificed the spirit (Santa Muerte) must hand over the soul (basic betch) to the opposing spirit (yours truly). Which means you are being sacrificed now...not to Santa Muerte but to ME. Honestly, I am not here for bowing or bending of the knee like the tv shows you watch. I can give a sh*t about posers or what your knee sockets do. I'm here for pleasure. Do you know what pleases me? You suffering. Mucho Gracias Santa Muerte!

Your Soul is Bound to Me:

https://youtu.be/N59qMZfbeAM

(by the way when Samjaza fell (fleed) from Heaven the so called Angels that (fell) fled with him were Samjazas offspring. The spirit you have been serving is an offspring of Samjaza, it is not Samjaza. You should look up the word "flee" to help you figure out who is more like this "devil character "created by the human imagination. You all give Samjaza way too much credit). Smh.

All my Enemies be like:

https://youtu.be/aJNxq0SlJEc - Dark Horse Katy Perry

Elias play with me again I'll let these sad dumb betches have you (including your fake a$$ wife mama). I swear to God. But also...proud of you for being brave.

https://youtu.be/iDYF_f-noAg

5/27/23

Update for Elias: Wolves are Symbolic

Teen Wolf - Alpha Scott

Not every dream you have about me dying is going to come true. Your Guardian Angel Raphael told me you need to hear from me (Don't worry, everything is going as planned) Also you should study "wolf packs" and think about if Melchizedek can reproduce all blood-types how they avoid incest.

The Melchizedek are The Wolves in Sheeps clothing...

(Wolves = Melchizedek disguised as Human aka Shapeshifters (meaning their features change don't think of what a chameleon is think of what a chameleon does).

The Originals: Haley

Also channeling a pregnancy...but it's really just prolonged ovulation. I don't release one egg per month, I release multiple eggs per month like 7-12 as I get older it will increase. As my eggs mature I produce more Hcg, which means I experience some of the symptoms of a woman experiencing a multiple pregnancy. God told me we will never have just one baby, it will always be Multiples (he keeps using the word "litter" ( God are you calling me a betch)? Keep that magic d*ck away from me Elias. Also our babies are smaller in size for example: I can carry 8 babies and look like I am carrying twins but they would still be healthy babies. Regular Human babies used to be small enough where it wasn't as painful and sewing needles were not needed to...sew your birthing parts back together. A miscarriage is possible by way of natural causes like poison in your food, a hit or knife to your stomach will do it... being separate for too long ...the babies would need both of us together in order to survive etc. common sense pregnant stuff. The babies also have an innate sense of who you are and respond to you as their father (Alpha) You would also turn them in my womb, if you sensed something were wrong with them (i.e an umbilical cord wrapped around ones neck) and you would be able to hear their heartbeats; however it would show as a phantom pregnancy on a sonogram. The pregnancy is also longer than 9 months...

This is a example of a past prediction coming to fruition basic betch God said he sent your tarot readings a$$ this message 2 years ago but you were too dumb and racist to listen...it's still the same message betch the truth is the truth no matter who it comes from...

https://youtu.be/YgtfKvCXG_s - The Empress is Pregnant

The virgin Mary and Joseph

The Melchizedek would like to debunk a myth. The so called Virgin Mary (female human w/holy spirit) did have sex with a so called holy spirit due to this so called spirit being housed inside the human body of the so called (male human) Joseph. This means Joseph had to stick his human d*ck inside Mary's human wet p*ssy and shoot up the club in order for her to conceive and give birth to a human baby. This baby would also be born with the Holy Spirit because it was born from the spiritual bloodline of the Holy Spirit (known as the Melchizedek) created from the God of Spirits.

Therefore, the Melchizedek woman is not currently pregnant because she has not yet been penetrated by any d*ck. Maturing eggs means her body is aligning with her spirit which understands divine timing; it is time for her body to prepare to conceive and carry what her spirit already knows how to do...which is carry the Melchizedeks man's demi-God children. It's like going through puberty (growing bust, wider hips, is that a butt?) and pregnancy symptoms she will experience with multiples all at once. This is so she doesn't die from those symptoms when she is actually pregnant.

This is also a time where God gives Elias knowledge and instruction explaining which child comes first, second or millionth and what to name him/or her and how to prepare for each child.

The reason God knew the children the basic betch tried to pin on Elias were not his, was because the Melchizedek man and Melchizedek woman were already married (under contract) and had these same children (spirit babies) in Heaven before being sent to Earth (what you call a past life).

This means God already knew these spirits turned human before he formed them in the womb...which means an alarm went off in heaven when God did not recognize this basic betches abomination offspring.

God was like "who and what the hell is that?" The same alarm would go off if the Melchizedek woman became impregnated by someone who is not Elias. Don't get excited...it's not happening you horny freaks.

(Note for Elias: You have a territorial gift that works through thought transference. It has the power to influence others based on what you are thinking or speaking. For example I noticed the guy I am staying with is starting to avoid me not in a bad way but not looking me in the eyes when I talk to him, very brief convos, he has a home office (he never leaves ) and he sent me a picture of himself outside working at a coffee shop 30 miles away. Last night i was laying on my sofa bed and he seemed to be pacing like he wanted to say something ... but when i looked up he dashed off to his room. Today he knocked on the door of a room I was in to see what I wanted from the grocery store and when I came out...maybe I was too close but he backed up turned around and started walking away before I could finish greek yogurt. I had to text him. I thought I did something wrong like insult him in some way, until Gabriel told me "it's you doing it because you are overprotective and jealous." I am flattered but do not think too hard about killing him ..he is a little weird but so was Sinbad remember him...(not a real threat). And I still made sure you knew I preferred you over him. And you're the only man i would let touch my tummy and not fight back ❤️

6/2/23

I've been in the house all by myself all day. When the guy finally came home he had vegetables in hand and started cooking. Then he offered me some and said ....it has no meat. I haven't seen him cook once since I've stayed here. And then...wait for it...he washed... the dishes. Smh. ELIAS.

If they cheat on you they are cheating on me

God has always told me if they play you they play me.. if they cheat on you they are cheating on me...

Did you cheat on my man hoe?

https://youtu.be/2OWKBxN0pp8

If you were going to be with him you should have just been with him. But when you cheated on him you were cheating on me and that's why I am beating the sh*t out of your soul and the doctors can't scientifically put their finger on why the f*ck you're going through what you're going through so fast. Cheat on me again!

And my man is not a punk he can turn into a beast when he finds out his love is being taken for granted.

https://youtu.be/se4dXWjanlE - How Was My Wife - The Last Boy Scout

And you're going to jail for not only sex trafficking other people's children but sex trafficking your own. Smh. (Get Her Out Of My Sight)

The Wolverine

https://youtu.be/-sqio1tiPGk -Wolverine Adamantium

https://youtu.be/0EHmElTUFqk - Samjaza mad he doesn't have the same DNA (Adamantium) as Adam . Anyone read the God Gene (yawn).

(What movies mimicking Bible characters? What a cover up...can this be proven by science alone??? Find out on the next episode of "humanity is blind)!" F*ckin actors.

https://youtu.be/booKP974B0k - She Wolf Shakira

Awakening Your Subconscious

Also pay attention to what or who God introduces you to, for example the security gaurd that introduced me to the man I am currently staying with keeps introducing me to friends she has that want to give me free self- defense classes. I.e Tai Kwon do, ju jitsu, knife throwing and some others.

God introduces you to things as a way to wake up your subconscious overtime and your body will gradually follow. So don't worry if you feel useless right now... whatever you need to know in order to do what you need to do is coming. (me rolling my eyes at God waiting on a paycheck... tired of working for free).

The Omniprescent Trait (according to Samjaza a trait he has not seen since Eviraah (Eve)..this trait cannot be passed down to your bloodline and you are right it's not fully developed but its developed enough to see through bulls*it thus far.

Anddddd as for the bounty hunter I keep intuitively picking up that is both in awe and in fear due to how smart I am for my age. Tell Samjaza, The God of Spirits would like to let him know... "he is behind schedule...pick up the pace" or i'll die of boredom. Both Melchizedek are now awake and aware.

Whats wrong? Do I not remind you of Marie (The Virgin Mary)? Am I too mouthy? We can talk about this and The Last Supper over a New Supper if you want. No hard feelings that you cut Marie up into tiny pieces, drained her blood into shot glasses when your energy harvest didn't work. (Sharpens knife...no hard feelings) And then hung Jesus on a cross after killing his wife... wife = weakness (thank you jezebel and samson)

By the way Muslims the prophet Muhammad had a successor his name was Bilal (another one bites the dust). You're welcome. (Don't worry this has nothing to do with skin color...we have white ancestors too were not racist...i mean come on Jews you really think Hitler attacked white people with dark hair and olive skin...(gee thought I saw a Melchizedek in the Jewish community... false alarm ...nevermind nevermind I have said too much).

Ginger Jasmine Lemonade Tea Anyone? I'm afraid if I spike them people will begin to fall asleep again... anyone else share that fear or are we turning blind eyes?)

When you serve it to the man you're staying with and he ask you how you got it to turn pink...

Me: Menstrual blood because that's normal right basic betch?

It's puree'd with mangos and strawberries (not menstrual blood for anyone lacking creativity...red acrylic paint would have been less poisonous).

When the man I'm staying with ask who I'm texting

Me: My Arch Nemisis playfully sings* if I ruled the world I'd free all my sons...

Him: Lol (you're so cute walks out the room)

Me:

Anyway...I'm going to go lie down and play. Ps3.

5/28/23

So I was going to add a photo of this black cat this man owns that likes to follow me around and likes to nudge me out of my sleep only to stare at me like I woke him up... Apparently it knows when I'm about to have a fainting spell or my heartrate is off (not from you basic betch its my hormones you hater dont want to give you any false hope). I used to be allergic to cats and salmon but not anymore.

But yeah if the basic betch had cats... I don't know how you can have a dirty house and have cats, you queef...don't even get me started on the litter box smell when you don't clean it and then on top of that you smelling like cat food (spoiled fish).

If anything upsets me about this situation. It's that Elias' family and friends thought this hoe would be a great candidate to replace me. I object!

No wonder you people failed you have horrible judgement and bad taste. Nobody thought hmmm...intelligence should be thrown into this kitchen magic.

God keeps trying to tell me it was heavy spell work you were under Elias, but I argue the fact that I think you would have had to fall prey and choose her as an option before any spell work was able to take effect.

I can't wait to hear your side of the story Elias. (Honestly, I rather hear it from you than tarot readings). You can be honest...I'm also not one of those women who need you to degrade another woman in order to feel attractive or good about myself. If the betch was pretty and socially acceptable looking by societies standards... before all of this and that is what caused you to choose her before that spell work hit ...it won't hurt my feelings.

I'm more worried about having to deal with the trauma she caused you...the first boyfriend I had in college had an ex cheat on him with his best friend and once he started a relationship with me he would always accuse me of cheating, would get really violent, stalk me, abuse was clearly in our futures because neither of us were going to be talking to each other crazy without getting in some sort of physical altercation (these hands betch). Once he even tried to make me feel bad for him because he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and different personalities. (I was like all 5 of those personalities are grown & have a job where they know how to not get fired by way of saying the right things to stranger, so whichever one would like to come out today can get these hands or vulgar voice box for talking or coming at me crazy). It took me 6 months on and off for 3 years (longest relationship ever) for me to realize this little boy was giving me breadcrumbs (treating me how he should have treated his concubine (ex hoe) when I deserved the mo'fkn bread shop. Which neither his concubine or I would ever see...thanks to his experience with that concubine erasing the idea and vision of that bread shop ever being a possibility. I was single for many years after letting him go and I had never planned to go back to anything like it. (Looks around at where I'm at... goddamnit)!

I say that to say, I have respect for you trying to do right by the basic betch and those children you thought were yours. But don't let the basic betch who did you wrong keep you from continuing to do right for the real one. Whether that be a lady pushing a shopping cart who ran over your toe and didn't even say thank you for holding the door...still hold the door for the next lady.

Honestly it's probably going to be your real wife chasing that lady down with a baby in hand like "doors don't hold themselves betch, you forgot to tell my man thank you!" ...and you owe him a toe apology!

The energy to hold that door was not free! wanker!

Before I met you and after the last ex I had before meeting you. I asked God to send me someone who doesn't just treat me with kindness, but treats others with kindness (even other women respectfully ofcourse). This was one for my favorite things I noticed about you at work...when women would come up to you swooning (rolling my eyes) and you were always kind to them even if I was sitting across from you. Even if you knew you were good-looking; your presence (spirit) had more value and that is why they kept coming back after you nonchalantly rejected the obvious crush.

I believe I met the real you...no matter how many people you have pretended to be in order to make others comfortable or fit it. You're my best friend and meeting you really healed me when I was in a dark place. So I wanted to return the favor.

(and now I'm crying faking hormones)

Elias I gotta go I left two yogurt covered pretzels in a small cup in this guys fridge and covered in in plastic wrap.

Guy: Why would you save two mini yogurt pretzels?

Me: I was full .

Guy: full?

Me: yes. Like not hungry anymore. So I'm saving it for later.

Guy: TWO MINI Yogurt Pretzels (shakes cup in the air)

Me: Well whats wrong? ...Don't be jealous..if you want one just say so! (blink blink)

Guy: 😒

5/31/23

Update For Elias:

(If you are not Elias and think this is psychobabble...nobody cares what you think... maybe you should mind your fkn business because your name is not Elias... you dumb losing life crumbling before your eyes betches)

Anyway...that basic betch is about to enter into a halfway house. Good for you...you coked up cauliflower pu**y concubine princess. (She now has genital warts dont worry, this was contracted after you left Elias. Unfortunately, she had to suck d*ck in exchange for spellwork and tarot readings; Damn, you all couldn't give her a few coins to go pay for spellwork? I did say don't help her but sheesh....I see how you treat your workers. I hope you're having fun being me guys....tough sh*t.

Poor concubine princess that is what Gabriel calls you; especially after your Mason family and Elias' wannabe wife mom decided to call on my Angel (Gabriel) in hopes that he would serve them. What did you all get instead? How are you guys feeling... I'm going to be honest I don't feel that great these days but I still tune in every now and then for a good laugh...you haven't failed to supply and appease my need for laughter yet. The argument you had the other day between family members the masons (polish Spaniards) VS. (African islanders) Hoodoo family it was a little racist but entertaining. You people should really upgrade your comebacks though. I felt like I was watching an Uncle Ruckus biopic from that show The Boondocks.

Meanwhile...I have begun the process of menstruating.

So apparently, I was not thinking when I was going to post a picture of the cat that likes to watch me sleep. I bet my enemies were dying to see that cat and use that picture. Poor cat probably would have started attacking me in my sleep... (I still have dumb moments too especially when I don't feel good) These maturing eggs are killing me...I usually clean this guy's litter box for him but the other day I couldn't it triggered nausea and then hyperemesis...finally he put the litter box in another room that wasn't mine and it stopped. (when you never really researched or cared about the topic of pregnancy and find out that pregnancy = anti-litter box)

Then today when I finally had energy to comprehend anything. I found out the guy spent his whole paycheck and I kind of cooked everything and he ate it so now we have to wait until his next paycheck to buy groceries. I wish he would have told me and I would have told him to save his money. And he started saying how he's not going to the gym to workout because lack of calories and so he's going to limit how much he eats but I can eat whatever I want... (people really don't know how to use their resources...he has the biggest bag of rice that I have ever seen in his possession and a cupboard full of herbs; Do you know how many rice flavors you can make?

Anyway so I started experimenting while he was working from home. And surprised him with Yellow rice, basil rice and made tortilla shells and pita bread out of flour mix and black beans. I also made lentils and potatoes into vegan patties. And used the flour to make a flat bread pizza. I like to meal prep. (I've come along way from catching the first apartment I had on fire...with cooking oil on the stove...not supernaturally a$$holes.) But then I started getting stomach cramps after over 8 hours of living in the kitchen and Gabriel told me I need to lay down. The guy asked me if he could rub my tummy and I was like I fortunately have hands to do that for myself...

Some of things this guy channels seems to be similar to the experience you may have had (Elias) with that basic betch. Only I am guessing she probably called you all kinds of worthless names when you started running out of money instead of using the remaining brain cells she has to try and make his life a little easier... You f*cked up betch. Smh. Now who's worthless...you played out succubus melanoma surprise concubine!

So the guy recently told me he wants to start a cookbook and wanted me to write down some recipes that he liked. I told him I would send some to him from my online cookbook (which is really a wedding gift to you but full of surprises like sexual ones) and he could write some of the food recipes I send down himself...(what do I look like your wife maid...I probably do lol)

Also the guy asked me what I thought about prenuptial agreements. If he were to ask me to sign one...?

After careful thought, I think it is wise for any marriage to sign a document that would make sure neither party is"homeless" or without any "assets" if a marriage were to end, like the basic betch. I think many times people within society follow trends without doing their own research adopting a false belief that prenups mean "your spouse doesn't trust you, if you "both agree" to sign a prenuptial agreement." In my opinion, a prenuptial agreement is expressing the exact opposite and means " if the marriage dies we both care enough about each other as human beings to make sure neither of us is broke as a joke and homeless, if one of us is secretly an undercover witch trying to kill the other for their land, money and energy." Right Basic Betch? It's like a death will for marriage. I mean if you plan on staying married wtf does it matter. What are you scared of? Why does it make you sad? What are your thoughts?

When you keep applying for jobs and God keeps denying your applications. God: Keep applying.. if you want to betch I said no. (you and me both basic betch)

I ask God all the time if I can get a job because I am tired of not having money of my own. I even applied to some jobs while I've been here waiting and God keeps telling me to stop playing games with him. But yesterday he told me to ask you Elias "what are your thoughts on me getting a job incognito?" This feels sexist by the way.

Not Everything Has to be Expensive...

You should also look up freecycle.com. I've received a lot of free stuff in good condition and have helped this man redecorate his home. Once, I asked for a tent and this freecycle gave me a 6-person tent never opened. Also gardening tools, herb vitamins unopened and unexpired, hardware tools...furniture etc. You just ask and people in your neighborhood give it to you for free if it's just sitting around collecting dust. I actually don't mind refurbishing furniture...not everything always has to be brand new...when I had my own apartment I painted my own drawers....

I like stuff like this: https://youtu.be/BtlbPqkgwGs - Acrylic Pour Painting Tables

that's probably why it's the rarest blood type...

So I just woke up to this guy telling me he's about to go give blood. And when I asked why? he said because I'm AB+ and I have one of the rarest blood types (but i know he's doing it for money). As a teaser I said "happy bloodletting and could tell I pissed him off...he's very sensitive, so I also told him it was very nice of him. (I heard God say: gullible)

Sometimes, I find it hard to have conversations with people about stuff like this as I have factored in that people do need blood these days for certain diseases and possible gunshot wounds and wars. But does anyone really know where most of that blood goes...especially if they keep running out (bioweapon trials?..no wonder you're the rarest blood type betch). Well, at least they stock the hospitals every now and then bet that donor list is moving slow though.

I was going to ask him if they give donors receipts or postcards some kind of evidence letting them know what type of bioweapon trial that blood was a part of or hopefully a meet in greet with the patient in need... which I guess is why many people like to tell people they gave it (how honorable of you). Good thing when those trains derailed contaminating water, they told people within the United States that they were about to get some of that contaminated water. Nobody ever lies. As long as people have been to some sort of college or have an astounding title ... it must be true.

I would also like to meet the patient in need because I don't just like word-of-mouth science...i like evidence. I want to see where that blood transfusion incision is on that sick human being and a copy of those rising blood levels notarized by a notary of my choice. But until I have a solution ... I'm just going to shut up. Happy Bloodletting.

Elias you're in charge now...

I have this book where I write down timetables of events and when they are supposed to happen for us. And God keeps showing me 3:33...numbers do not mean the same for everyone, but I finally looked in that book because I barely use it. And it says under 3:33 "Elias is the Head of Household." Congratulations. Just like you I am still waiting on legal documentation so don't worry you got this... be patient and follow your intuition.

You also have an Omniprescent Trait...

(Remember our first hug at work after 2 years of working with eachother we only hugged once...the night you left to go work from home)

My gift works in real time (past, present and future) yours is more of a preventive and works through taking action whether that be in real time or in your dream state. Exhibit A: My f*cking freedom. Some of your dreams are predictions and if you feel anxiety due to seeing death for example... there is some kind of way you can prevent it.

Dreams are often used for training your spiritual senses and creating an environment where you no longer feel anxiety or fear. This means not everything you see is going to happen but you have to learn the difference based on what God has told you or showed you. I used to have this dream where I was drowning and when I tried to call out for help....I would continously call out to a mother figure in this dream because she was the closest person in real time (waking life) that I believed could protect me

I kept having the dream repeatedly because I kept failing the test and even though I went to church I did not really believe in "Jesus Christ." I had to swap out the mother figure with Jesus Christ...I stopped having the dream thereadter because I passed the test. A few weeks later started studying more about the bloodline of Jesus Christ. This is called wrestling with God.

Your senses are going to heighten

Ears..

if they haven't already... I would reccommend you get some sleep aids to block out loud noises. It's really hard to sleep without them possibly because I was in shelters with other people and snoring...but it's also happened in single room hotels where I can't sleep because I feel like everything is louder than it should be...I can also hear frequency that other people can't hear and have looked kind of crazy asking past roommates if they can hear it...anyway this will eventually balance out.

Mood Ring Eyes

Your eyes will change colors but it's subtle and once it starts happening you can't control it. Different colors mean different things...the older you get the brighter. Scientifically you lose the melanin in your eyes and experience symptoms of iritis.Females later experience blindness for a short time and are more easily identifiable due to striking colors. I would reccommend getting some dry eye drops use your intuition and pick one.

Before my eyes started changing God would tell me over and over again intuitively. And I thought it was just my imagination. Then one day I was having a conversation with a woman at a shelter and she was like "do you wear contacts?" Three days later I left that shelter. But like I said it's very subtle most people don't notice.

I get really painful headaches do you...

Have you ever heard that theory... there are certain percentage of the brain not in use. This is God waking up parts of the brain you are not using. Usually I Identify these headaches when modern day medicine doesn't work...these headaches don't give a f*ck. So, try and sleep it off. I notice my eyes seem a lot lighter after these headaches as well once they started changing. Also, a lot of times I get energy surges which is just your "spirit" confirming something it can kind of feel like a prickly vibrating feeling going on in your head. Sometimes if I'm not paying attention in public, I will feel it and know to pay attention to my surroundings. Or if touch something or read a book and something resonates, I feel my spirit. It can be either confirmation or warning you of something...you would know based on anxiety. Once you start to become more fearless...you recognize anxiety as "don't do that" or "something in your environment is wrong." When you feel no fear even when you know you probably should because most people would be afraid "nothing is wrong" and you know nothing is wrong because God has allowed you to feel what anxiety and panic attacks feel like. Get it? God doesn't enjoy seeing you in pain or anxiety but if you don't master the feeling, you will fail a test in real life that will save your life. God loves you so much... welcome back to the team.

And don't be intimidated by me...think of me how you thought of me at work. I still walk really fast down hallways like someone is chasing me. And for the most part I am goofy asf naturally...no one would ever suspect I am surprisingly intelligent...sometimes I wish how smart I sound in my head would come out that way. Lately, I feel like it's hard to get out words and sometimes I stutter...yesterday i meant to say the word patties (as in I'm making patties) and it came out panties (soft h). And when I tried to say patties again it still came out panties. And the guy was laughing at me. Melchizedek do speak a whole different language than that on Earth. Moses wasn't stuttering, he was starting to speak his native tongue...which has some sort of accent. (I don't think patties to panties is the end of it. The more our subconscious awakens the more our body remembers.

Lastly Praying

Talk to God like he's your father. (not the deadbeat kind...although if you feel he's been a deadbeat tell him that he's not going to be offended.) Be honest. And unashamed because he doesn't care about what you've done as long as you don't repeat a cycle. He already knew you before you were born and adopted by your sorry a$$ adoptive mom only to use her as an obstacle course in order to crown you king one day. God already knew you were a baby gangster player which is why he chose you for this time period whether you believe it or not. So stop praying on your knees like a modern day slave peasant (no offense people)and turn on whatever music Playlist you want even it's vulgar and ask God what he thinks...praying is just talking. Its a back and forth conversation between you and God. Eventually you build a bond...where God has been paying attention to you not talking and knows you've been trying to keep all the murderous rage-filled thoughts and feelings to yourself to appear angelic and sinless. Eventually, if he hasn't already God is going to call you over...tell you to turn on a Playlist he feels like listening to and speak what you're thinking into existence with no filter. And then he's going to tell you to go to sleep while your angels and words wreak havoc on whomever pissed you off. (Ofcourse your level of anger/rage is also tested...so you won't wreak havoc on just anybody (innocent people matter) when you get the much more destructive gifts).

I hope this helps you.

6/1/23

Elias next time you hear from me it will not be on this blog. This blog has served its purpose. My mission is complete. Gods got you ❤ Use your intuition.

End Credit Songs:

https://youtu.be/9u14-QBPzSE - Pacify her - Melanie Martinez

https://youtu.be/QZp2biJul1c - Vegas- Doja Cat

https://youtu.be/FI0Rq9uDEZs - Halsey, G,-Eazy Tyler Grey Mary Jane Remix

https://youtu.be/2hq3jAO2Rbk - You Should See Me In A Crown ft Nicki Minaj

https://youtu.be/M42EoG1QPnU - Crossfire - Stephen

https://youtu.be/DDA5zMhIQ6A - Jealous - DJ Khalid & Chris Brown

https://youtu.be/amY-JAQch0E - Desperado - Rihanna

https://youtu.be/7xb0-anwAQs - Nasty - Russ

https://youtu.be/yUxM29bo2Dc - I Don't Get Tired - Kevin Gates

https://youtu.be/9xvSNAozKbw - That's All She Wrote - T.I ft Eminem

https://youtu.be/c3eY6FQOaqM - Coming Home - Skylar Grey P Diddy

https://youtu.be/UTK8torOylM - Lord of War

[battle-for-the-prize]

hello everyone!

this is a catchall blog for all my osc related content/characters. be it ocs outside anything, or in one of my planned shows such as bfac or bftp or That other one without a name yet. i will occasionally post osc art on here and will blog abt them sometimes. heres some rules for the blog!

WHO CAN INTERACT?

this is a catchall for planned shows. i cant control their fanbases so any ages are fine! but i would prefer you being over 13 at least as some of these shows contain darker topics and themes.

but basic dni criteria still applies, ok? and no endo systems. no opinion on mspec lesbians because i dont know anything about them.

WHAT ARE THESE/WHEN WILL THEY BE RELEASED?

these shows (or games? ;]) are things i plan to release sometime in the future. but NOT the near future. likely years from now as i do not have the time/resources/skills/etc to make them right now and i have a project that will take priority over osc things first.

WILL THIS BE LIKE SOPI?

no. youre free to ask about the characters and ask about their designs/personalities/etc but i won't be releasing any like uhh... blog canon content for this. so basically, i can tell you about planned canon things. but im not gonna be telling you the story and whatnot.

CAN I DRAW YOUR CHARACTERS?

YES!!!!!! i am always willing to receive content of them. be it art, aus, ships,* or anything else, im willing to receive art! tag me in it! send it to me! hell even ASK which ones to draw!

*dont draw anything that would be bad. no incest, pedophillia, abuse, etc. no bad ships.

IS NSFW OKAY?

of non-minor characters, yes. just don't tag me in it/send it to me. youre free to put it on like paheal or r34 or whatever though. and no, i don't have a problem with seeing it. youre free to draw it. i encourage drawing it. i do it myself. i just dont want it sent to me unsolicited or without warning. if i wanna see it, ill seek it out, ok?

CAN I AUDITION FOR YOUR SHOWS/CAN I HELP WORK ON THE PROJECT?

sadly, no. i am not near ready for any help, nor production. i cant even start the show yet, and i don't have any way to really plan it right now. i am not looking for auditions or artists right now.

WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH THAT ONE SHOW?

[currently unnamed] is a show somewhat inspired by hfjone, lots, and the waiting room (the show, not the place in hfjone). with object characters having real human names, or going by other names (like absinthe) to conceal their identities. i haven't fully fleshed it out yet, but it will be darker than my other shows.

ARE YOUR SHOWS INTENDED FOR CHILDREN OR A MORE MATURE AUDIENCE?

my shows are not intended for any particular audience. but as i write darker content in other projects and they might stumble across them, it might not be recommended to small children without parental guidance. [currently unnamed] is not recommended for children or "potentially sensitive" audiences.

my non osc projects are not recommended for children, "sensitive audiences", or those who are sensitive to very heavy topics including heavy/extreme blood/gore, violence, death, abuse, sexual content, extreme trauma and psychological horror.

i will not be posting about these non-osc related projects here, and any mentions of osc-related projects with any themes that could potentially be upsetting or triggering will be tagged with related tags such as "blood cw" or "gore cw" or "trauma cw". if i forget to tag these, please let me know. nobody's perfect, not even me somehow (/silly)

any darker fanfics, aus, or other content will be tagged with such tags OR posted the blog .inanimatez, and be wary as these aus WILL CONTAIN DARK TOPICS, INCLUDING ANIMAL DEATH.

but i am not likely to post about those here. if you ARE interested in that go follow the aforementioned blog!

WHAT IF I DRAW A SHIP WITHOUT KNOWING THE CHARACTER IS A MINOR?

well, that's not very likely. and yes i know this is a weird question. but i get the feeling other people didn't realize rocky is potentially intended to be a child at first (NO I DIDNT SHIP ROCKY WITH ANYONE!!! NO I DIDNT DRAW R34 OF HIM. BEFORE YOU GUYS EVEN ASK.)

if you draw a ship with a child character without realizing i won't despise you for it, as long as you didnt realize and stop doing it, and never do it again. that is NOT an excuse for pedophilia or proshipping. i will not tolerate proshipping, pedophilia, or suggestive or pornographic content drawn of ANY child characters, ESPECIALLY not my own. not in any project i make.

(honestly that above part really only applies to when the shows first begin. once its been a while youre just a sicko cause it will have been obvious by then.)

shipping teenager x teenager is fine. its a bit weird if youre not a minor. but its fine nonetheless, i dont care. its no different than shipping like i dunno danganronpa characters or something. (i Think theyre minors?)

this being said most of my characters in this are not minors, and i will generally specify if they are. if you draw any of that shit with child characters from [currently unnamed] you are not excusable!! i will have specified characters' ages in that series and you can't just ignore that. also they literally act like kids and like five of them are toddlers. it is OBVIOUS.

CAN I REQUEST CONTENT OF OTHER OBJECT SHOWS LIKE BFDI OR II?

yes! im more than willing to draw osc content in general, as long as i dont have art block. writing, too, but it may take longer cause i have writer's block more than art block for some reason. most of my drawings are on whiteboardfox, and sometimes i might literally just give you a whiteboard. i can't draw on the device i use tumblr on. its a long story dont ask.

i can't do icons/moodboards/edits/etc though. sorry. if you want moodboards i recommend @happystar-sz and theres a lot of icon blogs out there!!

CAN I REQUEST YOU TO MAKE ME AN OBJECT CHARACTER/GIVE ME IDEAS/HELP ME MAKE A SONA?

sure. i made my friends sonas. ill help you out, no problem! just know i dont know how to draw everything, so i may or may not be able to draw it if it's something more obscure. also i cant draw wings for the life of me but i try.

DO YOU DO COMMISSIONS?

nope! i do my stuff for free. prolly will for some time. i don't have any need for a buncha extra money right now, and wouldn't have any way to acquire it. [peter griffin voice] i dont have a credit card....

CAN I JUST TALK YOU?

yeah sure. i'd prefer people over like 20/21 not trying to be my friends, though. just makes me uncomfortable. youre free to interact with the blog/make requests/draw stuff/etc though, i don't care. i am also uncomfortable with fans of cfmot/ion/modern objects. you can still interact with the blog, yeah. id just prefer you werent my friend though. i dunno if the shows themselves are bad shows honestly they just remind me of trauma stuff. sorry russian people but you make me uncomfy

DO YOU ROLEPLAY?

eh, not really, apart from specific roleplay blogs. i don't like to do just one-on-one roleplays, but i do like askblogs and stuff. if i do roleplay one-on-one its usually with friends only, sorry.

IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE I SHOULD KNOW?

i am arospec, and a minor. please don't dm me lookin for sex, or for relationships, or overall weird shit. no i will not show you my feet. no i will not talk about sex to randos, even though im hypersexual. even i have standards, ok?

i use tone tags [such as /j, /lh, /nm, etc.] and i would appreciate it if you did so with me.

i have adhd, ptsd, and ocd, as well as like a buncha other issues. and i am currently (as of april 2023) pretty unwell, and dealing with it. i may be slow to respond to messages/asks/submissions/etc. and i may be inactive overall as i am busy sometimes. please be patient with me.

if i don't respond to something, and have been recently posting online, contact me within 12-24 hours of recent posting! i might've not seen the notif, and since i have like....i dunno, 18 blogs? maybe...20? i do a lotta stuff ok. mostly roleplay.

i have several osc related roleplay blogs. if you go to @silva-spoon or @oscullator you can find a bunch.

[beedinghearts]

i brought up wanting to start testosterone to my mom today :)

[queerlyraging]

hey for people who desperately think their parents or guardians or loved ones opinions won't change their opinion about people being LQBTQ+ and the community as whole and think that their opinions are solidified and set in stone for the rest of their life im here to tell you that's NOT true based on personal experience of my own parents radically changing their POV's, specifically my mother, and my own personal beliefs.

my mother was, like most people raised mormon, incredibly transphobic and homophobic and generally queerphobic for a large majority of her life. as her child, i was also raised mormon and also raised with those same ideals casually crafted into my normal day life: it wasn't malicious, but it was purposeful.

when my older sister came out to me as asexual and bi, i remember feeling confused and hurt and unsure of what i was supposed to feel. my entire life ideals had been challenged at the ripe age of 11, alongside with the potential idea that i could also be queer. i resolved to always love my older sister and respect and support her decisions to be happy, even if i didn't quite understand them or really comprehend what challenges has just been made to by base idea in life.

when my close friend (soon to be best friend) not only came out to me as a lesbian but also extremely excitedly informed me of her upcoming date with another girl at the age of 16, a deep part of me knew at that moment that no matter what happened, i had to change and be supportive of her decisions and how she pursued her happiness - after all, as i looked at my best friend excitedly dancing at the potential of this date, i wondered how it could be as bad as i was taught, and slowly i began to change.

later - i had a few more realizations about myself, and very quietly accepted the idea that i was aromantic, bisexual, and genderfluid, and that it was okay to be those things. it's something i'm still working hard on internalizing - after all, being raised with completely different ideals doesn't disappear in a single day or week or even month. but i began to be accepting of not only others but myself.

my mother was much more strongly homophobic than i ever was, her queerphobia aged like fine wine over the years she had internalized those ideals. she made homophobic comments in passing casually and aired opinions that caused me to be riddled with shame. yet over the years, her own opinion has done a 180. she did her research, saw the signs in her children, and realized she needed to go through her own personal journey as a parent to fully love and accept and support her kids the way she wanted to, and so she did.

if you had told either me or my big sister at the age where we began to realize and reach an understanding of who we were that we would be able to comfortably come out to our mother and not feel rejected, or endangered, or like we were going to face extreme amounts of shame from her, we would have bitterly laughed in your face. and yet yesterday, several months after my big sister came out to my mother about being bisexual and received nothing but support, i looked my mother in the eyes and tearfully told her about my own identities, at my own pace, as my own choice.

and she accepted and supported me for who i was. she knows about me being bisexual, and she loves me still and supports me and wants to know about the girls i've been interested in. she knows about me being genderfluid and nonbinary and accepts me, and asked me what pronouns i preferred, if i had different names i went by, and what i was feeling.

so if my mother, who was raised mormon and casually queerphobic like the best of them, can go from comparing being gay to cancer to letting me talk about how i want to get pride flags and publicly come out and be proud of who i am to the world, then i know people can change. it can be hard, and it is a long journey filled with hurt and anxiety and misunderstanding, but it can happen. and i'm so glad it did.

[sevicia]

tell us about ur ocs then

OK BUT YOU ASKED FOR THIS

((After i finished writing this i realized how long it is IM SO SORRY if anyone actually reads this i am kissing you so so very tenderly))

OK this is daría she is a swamp witch. She is veeery moody and has a dont care didnt ask type of attitude. She loves creachers and is able to talk to them, she also has vast knowledge of plants and natural remedies. She loves reading, and Aurora (her gf)! She's friends with Sammy (her cousin) and frenemies with Angel (she finds her annoying even though theyre very similar) <3 Also shes an nb lesbian, the shortest of the group and she's 16-17 I faghor to mention that

^ angel (left) and sammy (right)!!

Angel is a very orderly, serious girl, as well as as a nocturnal witch! She's able to see ghosts and talk to them (AKA order them around to do her chores LOL), and can see almost perfectly at nighttime. She has a tiny (huge) crush on Sammy, her only friend due to Angel's "rude" nature (in reality she is just blunt). She also loves to accesorize, and her favorite color is blue! She's pretty tall and lanky, and is #trans and a lesbian. Also, she finds Aurora annoying. She's 17-18!

Sammy is a caring, kind girl who is also a day witch! She has the ability to soothe and heal all lifeforms. She is also a great singer, having a deep love for music since childhood. She's very affectionate, esp. with Angel, and although she reciprocates her feelings she is too shy to ACTUALLY act on them. This infuriates Daria who just wants the two to quit pining and just kiss already. She likes summer the most, and has a good relationship with her and Darias grandma, who is the legal caretaker for them both. Sammy was adopted by Daría's uncles, who both passed away for Mysterious Reasons. Her relationship with Aurora is a good one, finding her cute and funny. She's tall, a little shorter than Angel, and is a cis lesbian. She's 17-18!

(I wanna redesign her but i still havent gotten around 2 it help)

This ^ is Aurora! She's not always in a swimsuit LOL this is just the only decent drawing of her i could find. She usually wears a school uniform with pink accents. She's bubbly, kind and puppy-like, getting excited REALLY easily. She loves fashion, sweets, animals, Daria and the color pink! She is not a witch in any capacity, but she still studies witchcraft in an attempt to become an artificial witch. She likes chasing Angel around and tries to actively become her friend! She's the second shortest of the group, and is a cis bisexual girl! Her age is 15-16; she's a year younger than Daria!

OK those are the witchy ocs now for the fruit ones 😏

(a note: The children in the fruitverse are born (hatched?) from flowers, which people who are looking for children go to in order to adopt. However, sometimes there's children that no one adopts, and they, along with children that got bad adopted by bad parents, get sent to the Fruit Basket, which is essentially an orphanage. Generally, people looking to adopt seek out the more mild-mannered fruit children, meaning they look for the sweetest fruits (AKA strawberries, bananas, apples, etc.) and other, more acidic fruits have a lower adoption rate due to them being known to be a bit more difficult to raise.)

This girl^ is Berry! I am the best at names I know. She's quiet and calm, and enjoys reading dates with her bff Nana. She lives with just her mom, Ms. Raspberry, and has a pet dog named Pinkie. She is often distressed because she gets roped into wild situations (mostly nana's fault TBH) when she would rather just chill all the time. Still, she's earnest and responsible. She's 13 years old!

This is Nana the man the myth the legend. As you can see, he is a banana. He's mischievious or however you spell that, and enjoys Berry's company mainly because she's 90% of his impulse control. He lives with his parents (Mr. and Ms. Blueberry), and his two siblings: Benjie (oldest) and Nadia (youngest). He loves them to death, and often teams up with Nadia (who is like 10) to stress out Benjie (who is 23). He is tall, and 14, a year older than Berry.

this is Ran! her ref sheet says pretty much everything, but ill talk abt her anyways cause i love her <3

Ran is an orange! She's a quick-tempered girl, but really sweet on the inside. She has trouble opening up to others due to her original parents neglecting her emotional needs while she grew up. When she was 6, her teacher caught onto the fact that her parents treated her badly, and she was sent to the Fruit Basket. At age 9, Lia (a lemon woman) adopted her from there. Ran feels as if she is indebted to Lia and needs to 'earn' her love by being as perfect as possible, so she puts a lot of pressure on herself. Meanhwile, Lia loves her unconditionally and is doing her best to make sure Ran knows that. Ran eventually becomes friends with Nana and Berry, and she is 15 years old.

These two right here are the Cherry sisters!

Mia (left) is the oldest at 22 years old, and she has a playful, happy personality. She likes fashion, and her main love language is signs of affection! She often tries to let her little sister Cher know she loves her, but she can get a bit TOO attentive to the point of overprotection. She is very popular with just about everyone due to her cheery personality and the fact that she's pretty (LOL), making Cher jealous. She is Benjie's girlfriend and loves him to death. Her main hobby is making him flustered!

Cher (right) is the youngest at 16 years old. Her personality is a bit more sour than Mia's, due to her feeling as if she's the shadow of her sister. She has a bit of an inferiority complex, and is often torn between wanting to be Exactly like her sister, or being her own person and being 'worse' than her sister her whole life. She is reclusive, easily annoyed and a bit bitter. She feels as if she is inferior to Mia due to not getting as much attention as her. Still, she likes fashion and is a horror movie fan. She eventually befriends Ran (and 'those two weird kids', by proxy).

OK now for the fruit ones that dont have drawings (yet)!:

Benjie: He's a tall, strong #transhet man, 23 years old, and he's a banana! He has a worrisome and anxious personality that he tries to hide by 'acting cool' (he just puts on sunglasses and hopes for the best). He is very kind, working at a dog shelter and always trying to pull his little siblings out of trouble. He has a soft spot for Berry due to her being a friend and a source of relaxation for Nana.

Monserrat: She is a lemon girl who has been in the Fruit Basket ever since she was born, and has a rivalry with Ran that stems for Lia adopting Ran instead of her. The rivalry consists of Monse being mean to Ran and Ran not letting herself be trampled over. She feels as if she deserves to be Lia's daughter more than Ran due to the fact that both her and Lia are lemons. In reality, she is just bitter about having never been adopted at the age of 15, and channels that bitterness towards other people. She likes romance novels and books, and eventually finds a friend in Cher after having a redemption arc in which she apologizes to Ran (and to Nana, Berry and Charlie, who she also enjoyed antagonizing).

Charlie: They are an apple kid who got pulled out of an abusive home, into the Fruit Basket, where they get ostracized and picked on by the other fruit children due to them being 'weird' (AKA not being able to communicate like everyone else; stuttering) and 'dumb' (AKA them struggling at school). Their peers at the Fruit Basket called them 'Rotten Apple'. This has made them defensive and reclusive, which just makes them get excluded even more. Their only friend at the beginning is their pet worm Alice, though later on they befriend Nana and Berry. They get along well with Ran, too, since they have a kind personality under those layers of defensiveness and aggression.

Agatha: Not a fruit, but a human! This girl is a 'mad scientist' type of character. She's a genius and enjoys programming, hence her creating the Fruitverse, an 'ecosystem' contained in a computer program that got out of hand; it was meant to be a simple game, but she kept adding and adding elements and details in her excitement until the 'characters' became able to think for themselves and altered her computer in the process, becoming a sort of virus for her. She comunicates with the 'characters' through a microphone that resounds in the town speakers, and while most of the adults are respectful and fearful of her, the children are... not, often taunting her and calling her 'stinky' and other names, which makes her basically ragequit and leave her computer (she leaves it running all the time. No matter what, she couldn't bear to know she'd be ending the fruit people's lives. She gets attached easily.)

OK NOW THE ROBOT STORY DW IT ONLY HAS A FEW CHARSCTERS SO FAR THIS IS ALMOST OVER I PROMMY!!

Alice: A 17 year old trans girl with a masculine voice that doesn't match her appearance living in a futuristic city where robots have become a commodity, and people who keep the robots running (AKA essential workers) are treated very, very badly. She lives in the poorer side of town with her parents, who are both maintainance workers, and her sister, a wannabe influencer. As the daughter of maintainance workers, she is bullied in school. One day, she isn't able to stand it any longer, so she skips school and wanders around town, eventually finding a hidden tunnel that leads to an underground system, where discontinued or 'faulty' robots are left until 'recollection' (AKA getting crushed and burned in a facility). Seeing this, she sets out to help the robots, feeling a connection to them. Her adventure leads her to the rotten core of the city.

Annie (short for Anastasia): She is a 20 year old girl, Alice's sister and a wannabe influencer. She worries very much about her little sister, trying to look out for her whenever possible. She is easily annoyed and follows trends as best as she can with her limited options. She has plenty of friends, though most of them talk about her behind her back. She knows this, but she's terrified of not being popular, so she sticks with them. Deep inside, she is a kind, caring girl who is scared of not being liked. Initially, she is against Alice going into her crusade alone, but warms up to the idea eventually, choosing to trust her and looking out for her in a more indirect way.

The Mother: This entity is the AI that rules the city. It doesn't take a single form, being able to choose its vessel from custom-made robot-suits. It is responsible for the unequality of the city, encouraging it as it allows it to keep itself on the top of the metal chain. Eventually, when Alice manages to find it with the help of her sister and robot friends, it tries bargaining for its existence by telling Alice it can give her the life she's always wanted. It promises Alice a future of being adored, of being accepted by her peers. Or something. Haven't decided on that yet!

OK THATS IT IM SO SORRY I GOT EXCITED.

[missjanjie]

Comphet is one hell of a drug. Came out to my sister as ace and her response was "So,you're still straight,right?" Similar response from my mother. To this day, she still constantly brings up my getting married and having children(going so far as to say, "if your husband puts one in you, you're not gonna be able to stop him",which is........I don't even know). Like the very thought of a woman not wanting to be with a man is so foreign to the general populace. Just from that energy I got from them, I don't even think I'll ever tell them about my potential interest in other women. I don't have the energy for that conversation.

Sorry for rambling, but the comphet post hit a little too close to home.

no you’re good i totally get that. society has this weird hangup on not believing a woman can truly not have an interest in men playing a romantic/sexual role in her life. it’s weird, when i id’d as bi, i was told id ‘pick a side’ or asked which gender i liked more. then i realized im a lesbian. recently there’s been this uptick in queer communities (even here on tumblr) devaluing and dismissing lesbian identities under the guise of ‘sexuality is fluid’ and ‘no one is 100% straight or gay’

and like fuck, nothing except death and taxes is 100% certain in life, but after all the work i did unpacking comphet and internalized lesbiphobia, if im calling myself a lesbian, im a fucking lesbian. and i know asexual erasure has also been extremely prevalent and what your family says is awful. it’s exhausting to be in these positions at this point