#when the montage started I was convinced he was dead

[doreensladle]

jaysohn fully almost just died in the most jaysohn way possible

[shu-box-puns]

The recoms definitely give ‘found family’ vibes

IDEA: The recoms just tamed their ikran, they’re getting used to being in the saddle. Feeling free of the RDA for the first time since their awakening, only for Lyle to get the call about the rogue gunship. It’s quiet for a heartbeat as Quaritch processes the information. And the group collectively feel the RDA breathing down their backs despite being countless miles up in the air with no human besides Spider in sight. 

Wouldn’t it be super fun if they all collectively decided ‘fuck it’ and disappeared off into Pandora. It’s giving ‘coming of age’, ‘exploring the world for the first time’ vibes, and I am here for it. 

Just someone ballsy from the back of the flock (probably Z-Dog) going: ”What if we didn’t go back?”

Quaritch goes very quiet astride Cupcake. Spider is peering up at him, his heart in his throat as he watches the recom school his shocked expression into the stern glare of a commanding officer. ”You want to desert?”

”I certainly don’t want to go back.” Z-Dog challenges easily. Her eyes fixed on the horizon so her confidence doesn’t wither under Quaritch’s gaze. 

Fike chiming in with, “I would quite like a holiday.”

Lyle shaking his head. “You’re all unbelievable.”

“We’ve been dead fifteen years Wainfleet.” Z-Dog retorts, throwing her hands up in exasperation. “The time to live is now!”

And they do manage to convince Quaritch. At first, it’s under the guise of getting further acquainted with Pandora, in more intimately learning the Na’vi way. But a week swiftly morphs into a month, and a month transitions into two months, and before they know it, the group of recoms are living solely off the land and are completely cut off from the RDA - Spider waterlogged their comms whilst the marines were bathing in the river. 

Give me reluctant guide Spider, turning into an older brother figure and getting increasingly more stressed as the days go on. He goes from looking after Tuk sometimes, to watching several na’vi twice his size walking blindly around the forest like overgrown toddlers. 

Just a montage of these idiots learning to live in Pandora. Spider going, ‘don’t touch that’, ‘don’t’’, ‘no!’ 

Spider teaching them how to fish and forage. The recoms absorbing all his teachings and allowing him to be fully listened to for the first time in his life.

They definitely become dangerous competitive. And shit gets messy with all their conflicting personalities trying to deal with each other after being stuck with one another with no breaks. Growing closer as their own little ragtag family. 

Once the recoms get their footing in the forest and the group starts working like a community, Spider gets demoted from all-knowing guide to ‘protecc child at all costs’. Now they can effectively take care of themselves, the recoms remember Spider is in fact only sixteen and not some seasoned warrior. 

He's like the collective child of the group. Mansk makes sure he’s fed. Z-Dog touches up his stripes in exchange for small tasks that she can’t be bothered to do, like asking Spider to scale the trees for fruit she can’t reach. 

Someone is always there to scoop him up when an animal takes interest in the group. The adult hissing at the beast whilst the kid stares at them like they've grown a second head. The child is just bewildered that he was Lyle’s first thought when the viperwolves exploded from the undergrowth. Spider had barely registered the movement before Wainfleet was snatching him up and holding him over his head, screeching the entire time. 

Bonus points if they’re somehow separated from their guns and Quaritch stepped away to refill the water bottles by the river. He just returns to the sight of Wainfleet perched on a tree stump, Spider held high over his head, with the other recoms circled around the pair hissing at a pack of pissed off viperwolves.

Just Quaritch storming back over. Firing off into the sky and scattering the pack like it's nothing. 

"I left you for five fucking minutes."

Recoms are like scolded children and he's their disappointed, tired Dad. 

Quick characterisations: 

Quaritch definitely gives me tired Dad vibes. Usually watches the chaos, is quick to jump in when an external threat or idiot tries to start shit. Very rarely gets involved in pranks. 

Quaritch’s favourite phrases: Get down! (often yelled at Spider) Stop that! (he’s definitely slapping Lyle’s hand away from a plant that will definitely kill him) What the hell are you doing? (just standing at a safe distance, arms crossed, watching the recoms fight over something stupid)

Lyle: When he’s not in marine-mod, there is not a thought between those far apart eyes. He’s like a toddler, touching shit he shouldn’t. Scaring any animal he comes across and finding out the hard way if it’s a danger to him. I can also feel in my bones that he’s a ‘that’s what she said’ person and genuinely thinks he’s hilarious. 

Z-Dog: unimpressed by everything. Somehow, despite spending months away from the RDA she still has bubblegum in her pack.

Mansk: Quiet. He never ditches the sunglasses regardless of how long the recoms end up hanging out in the jungle. He can often be found cooking or judgmentally seasoning food off to the side whilst the other’s bicker over stupid little things. He’s one of the youngest recoms and is always ready to learn new Pandoran recipes from Spider to widen his skills. Becoming a recom definitely altered his tastebuds and now he’s got to find a new horde of foods he can enjoy since orange juice tastes like ass now.

Fike: Usually the source of the problems. The kind of asshole to start shit simply because he’s bored. The real kicker is that Mansk sets him up constantly. If something goes missing, everyone immediately assumes it was Fike’s doing and turn on him, when in reality it was Mansk and he’s just chilling by the fire in plain sight watching the chaos unfold. (Only Spider knows it’s him because Mansk hardly ever grins that much, but instead of exposing the marine he just sits down with him to watch the recoms duke it out). 

Fike getting yelled at by Z-Dog for something he didn't do:

Mansk ominously stirring the cooking pot and watching the chaos unfold across the fire, knowing full well he hid Z-Dog’s utility knife:

[pale-opal]

I Listened to "The Wisdom Saga" and I Have Some Thoughts - Part 2

This is the sequel to this post. I will be picking up right where I left off, starting with:

4. Love in Paradise - I feel as if I've been tricked, been backstabbed, and quite possibly, bamboozled. - I came into this expecting unrequited-love related hijinks. - Do you wanna know what I got instead? - The most emotionally taxing song in the entire freaking saga. - I have listened to this song several times and so far, every time it ends I feel sad. But when the song starts, you have no idea what you're in for. - "Love in Paradise"? More like "Suffering in Paradise" (/j). - We begin with a medley of some of the most iconic songs from past sagas, starting with "Remember Them" from "The Cyclops Saga". After that point, the rest of the songs go by quickly, with Athena speedrunning through a montage of Odysseus' past up until his current point. The remaining songs in the medley are:

Keep Your Friends Close

Ruthlessness (I love how this song was changed for the medley, by the way. The faster tempo puts more emphasis on the drums and I think that's so fun)

Done For

No Longer You

Different Beast

Scylla

Thunder Bringer

- Afterwards, Athena finds out where Odysseus has been for the past seven years: the ✨Isle of Calypso!✨ - He is not okay. - We will get to that shortly. - For now, Calypso has decided to wake Odysseus up:

"[CALYPSO] Morning, sleepyhead You've been resting for a while I swore that you were dead When you washed up on my isle Did you know you talk in your sleep? Tell me, though, who's Penelope?

[ODYSSEUS] She's my wife" - This man just woke up from being knocked out cold, and the first thing he does is talk about his wife. - I know that he was asked who she was, but one would expect him to be like: "She's my wife - where am I?/How'd I get here?/Who are you?" - But, no. He just says "She's my wife" and leaves it at that. He couldn't care less about everything else at this point. - This does not stop Calypso from ignoring this and acting like her and Odysseus are newlyweds, however. - And I just want to take a second to talk about these lyrics:

"[ODYSSEUS] I'm not your man

[CALYPSO] I'm what you want here I'm what you need here Just you and me, my love in paradise Now 'til the end of time From here on out, you're mine, all mine" - "I'm not your man" is sung the same way as "I'm just a man", which means that Odysseus is saying: "Just because I'm a man, that doesn't mean I'm a free piece of meat for you to make out with." - Meanwhile, Calypso is NOT listening. She is thoroughly convinced that she and Odysseus are in-love with each other, and that they're basically already married. - I would like to bring up that in Greek mythology, Apollo and Calypso are husband and wife. And we know that Apollo is part of the "Epic" canon, because he appears in the next song. From this, we can draw two potential conclusions:

Apollo and Calypso are not married in "Epic", either because they haven't met, or because they are divorced.

Apollo and Calypso ARE married, BUT Apollo doesn't visit his wife... for some reason.

- Odyessus decides to try to get Calypso off his back by threatening her with death, but she deflects this by revealing that she can't kill her, because she's a goddess:

"[CALYPSO] You're adorable Bow down now to the immortal Calypso, here to entertain But fear not, I bring no pain ... Under my spell, we're stuck in paradise No one can come nor go, my island stays unknown" - Calypso going from flirting with Odysseus to mockingly calling him "adorable" and telling him to bow to her actually works really well. Sure, she's in "love" with him, but she's still a goddess, and Odysseus is still a mortal man that just threatened to kill her. To her, she has to put him in his place, regardless of whether or not he's the "love of her life". - "I bring no pain" is really ironic, considering how much Odysseus does NOT want to be on this island with this woman. - I also find it interesting how Calypso and Circe both have similar things going on with the whole "secluded secret islands in the middle of the ocean" thing. Not only that, but they both had a thing for Odysseus. - Also, the line about the spell Calypso put on the island works as an explanation for why she instantly "fell in love" with Odysseus: she's lonely! - Now then: is this an excuse for what she's doing here? No. The buck stops at it being an explanation - everyone experiences loneliness, and a lot of people do some weird and not always understandable things because of it. But usually, those things don't involve ignoring other people's boundaries and forcing them to accept your company. Relationships are a two-way street, and if someone doesn't want to meet you in the middle, then that's their choice. You need to know when to back off and let it go. - After Calypso reveals who she is and that it isn't really possible for Odysseus to leave the island, he starts to panic (the way the line "No, no" is sung really sells this). - At this point, I have to provide a content warning for implications of attempted suicide, and discussion of PTSD, due to the subject matter the rest of the song deals with. If you don't want to read my analysis of the lyrics dealing with that material, please skip to the section for "God Games", or click off of this post. Your mental health is much more important than some silly essay about some random people from Greek mythology. - Furthermore, if you feel that you or someone else may need help dealing with suicidal thoughts, please contact the national suicide hotline (United States) at 1-800-273-TALK, or the national crisis hotline at 988. - Lastly, I am not a psychologist, nor am I anyone else qualified to be giving medical assistance or help with mental health. Therefore, treat anything I say in relation to mental health with skepticism, and do not use it as a substitute for real medical advice.

Now let us continue:

"[ATHENA] Seven years, she's kept you trapped, out of your control Time can take a heavy toll...

[ODYSSEUS] All I hear are screams

[CALYPSO, spoken] Ody, get away from the ledge!

[ODYSSEUS] You don't know what I've gone through You don't know what I've sacrificed Every comrade I long knew Every friend, I saw them die And all I hear are screams"

- For some reason, I didn't see Odysseus developing post-traumatic stress disorder coming sooner. I suppose that's because he was in "the thick of it" for so long. - PTSD tends to show itself after a person experiences trauma, and is being reacclimated to a safe environment/the feeling of safety (however, it's not impossible for people to experience PTSD while in the midst of a traumatic experience, specifically if that experience takes place over an extended period of time. One example of this is how some soldiers who served in the Vietnam War showed symptoms of what was once called "shell shock" while they were still serving, with one of the most prominent signs being the "one-hundred yard stare" (which we now recognize as a form of disassociation)). - I also didn't expect Odysseus wanting to kill himself. He's reached the point where he just wants to be done. It's not even about Penelope anymore. He's just... tired. So tired that he's forgotten why he let himself go through all that suffering to begin with. - Calypso telling Odysseus that "life would be so much worse/if you had died" and telling her to stay in her "open arms" absolutely hurts, especially since he wants absolutely nothing to do with her. - Odysseus desperately screaming for Athena at the end just makes the whole thing worse.

5. God Games - This is arguably the song that had the most hype before its release. It had a bunch of animatics on YouTube back when all we really had to work with were a few snippets, and that hype stuck around for almost a full year. - And after listening to the song, it's easy for me to say that the hype was definitely deserved. - Another thing that I would like to say is that this song has a really fast pace. At first, I thought this made the song feel rushed, but then I realized something: that's the point. Mr. Rivera-Herrans has stated on multiple occasions that "Epic" takes inspiration from video games. With that in mind, considering how each of the gods has their own themes, as well as how fast the song is, it makes it clear that this song is meant to be a boss rush. The song goes fast because it HAS to. There's no time to be dragging out each debate, because Athena has to make sure she's ready for the next one. - On that note, "Love in Paradise" feels like a cutscene that takes place when "switching characters" over to Athena from Telemachus. - The first verse starts us off with Athena making it clear as to why she was considered to be Zeus' daughter in the Greek canon: "Father, God King Rarely do I ask for favors Now, I'm knocking on your door With hopes to save a friendship with one who's a prisoner far from home Odysseus"

- I did not expect Athena to be sucking up to anybody, but considering how egotistical Zeus is (ironic, considering how "Thunder Bringer" implies that he doesn't have any patience for hubris), this is most likely the best move she could have made. - I also noticed an interesting change that was made in the final cut of the song in comparison to the snippets: originally, Zeus tells Athena to convince Apollo, Hephaestus, Aphrodite, Ares, Hera, and him to set Odysseus free. However, in this version, he tells her to choose between persuading the aforementioned gods or him. Athena picks what is arguably the harder option. Keep this in mind. It will be important later. - The first god Athena has to go up against is Apollo: "You all know I'm a fan of catchy songs So with so many sirens gone, I think Ody's in the wrong" - Right off the bat, I was not expecting Apollo to lowkey sound like a hipster. That's cool, though. It works. - I like how Apollo being troubled by the siren deaths that took place back in "Different Beast" isn't because he doesn't approve of the murders themselves, but because the sirens were good singers. - Fun fact about the sirens: initially in Greek mythology, they were large birds with the heads of women. However, as time passed, they became replaced with mermaid-like creatures. - Luckily, Athena knows exactly how respond to such weird logic: by telling him that this actually helps the remaining sirens to stick around to sing more songs later.

"They were trying to do him worse All he did was reimburse them Now they'll tread with caution first To live another day and sing another verse"

- Now it's time for Hephaestus (and did y'all know that he's voiced by Jorge's dad? Both of his parents have shown up in this musical in important supporting roles. I think that's neat): "Trust is not given, it's forged Why should I give him my support? He sacrificed his own cohorts" - Hephaestus valuing trust and being upset with Odysseus for being willing to sacrifice his own crew members to Scylla works out so well when you consider that Aphrodite is constantly cheating on him with Ares. Why they didn't get a divorce is beyond me. The ancient Greeks divorced each other quite often, and it was easy for men to leave their wives. And there's even a myth were Hephaestus catches Aphrodite with Ares. So... yeah. Leave her, Hephaestus. You can do better. "Did you forget they failed to listen? He was betrayed and then imprisoned But if you make the right decision He can still build a future with those who miss him"

- What Athena is essentially saying here is: "Yeah, he did sacrifice his own men. But then they turned around and betrayed him right back. Nobody was innocent in that situation. But if you let him go, he can redeem himself with the people he has left." - Hephaestus (albeit begrudgingly) agrees with this. And Aphrodite, fittingly enough, is opponent number three (3): "[APHRODITE] Your little high and mighty Odysseus Claims to love his mother But let her die of a broken heart

[ATHENA] He was busy fighting

[APHRODITE] More like busy spiting the cyclops Let him feel the pain that his mother felt and rot" - I think Aphrodite's reasoning is highly flawed. Yes, the latter ten (10) years of Odysseus being missing from Ithaca could have been avoided if he didn't do the equivalent of giving the cyclops his government name, legal address, and social security number. BUT. She's acting as if he strayed off the path on purpose. Not only that, but in "The Underworld", Odysseus' mom's part of the song is all about how she died chilling in her rocking chair, willing to wait for her son for as long as it took. If anything, she died of old age, not of a "broken heart" as Aphrodite claims. - Furthermore, the part of the crew members who died heavily implies that the consciousness' of the dead in the underworld are a mixture of their memories and how they felt when they died. Hence why the crew members are confused as to why Odysseus spared the cyclops and are able to quote "Ruthlessness", and why Polities (😿) is still trying to encourage Odysseus to live with "open arms". In other words? Homegirl was not depressed when she died. Her lyrics about how much she loves her son and how she doesn't mind waiting for him is a representation of how she felt in her last moments. - TL;DR: Aphrodite is either making stuff up, doesn't truly know what happened, or is manipulating the situation to make it hard for Athena to argue with her. Hence why Athena pulls her into quick-thought. However, now Athena has another problem to deal with: "[ARES] Really Athena? These old tricks?

[ATHENA, spoken] Ares!" - Here we have another change from the snippets. In the older draft, Athena sounded more like she was in pain due to Ares interfering with her powers, but now she just sounds angry. Angry that he's interfering. - Ares' argument goes like this:

"What kind of sick coward Holds back his power While his friends get devoured? He didn't even fight Scylla Didn't even try to kill her Hides inside a wooden horse to get the job done Never handles things upfront Pathetic and weak like his son" - Before I lay into Ares' logic, I would like to explain more ancient Greek lore: both Ares and Athena were believed to be gods of warfare (and Aphrodite may have been considered to be one at some point as well). However, they both dealt with different "facets" of warfare. Athena was also considered the goddess of wisdom, and she was more associated with the strategic, "honorable" parts of war. Meanwhile, Ares was in charge of the bloody, tragic parts of war (which meant that not a whole lot of Greeks worshipped him). With this in mind, Ares' stance on Odysseus' methods makes more sense. However. That doesn't mean his reasoning isn't extraordinarily unsound: 1. "...sick coward/Holds back his power/While his friends get devoured": Odysseus willingly gave his friends over to get eaten by Scylla. Ares makes it sound like he was cowering in a corner while his friends were dying. 2. "...didn't even fight Scylla/Didn't even try to kill her": How could he?! Scylla's body has six dog heads, hence the six torches. Each of those heads, along with Scylla herself, are absolutely massive. Not only that, but the heads are attached to tentacles, meaning that they're chilling in the water most of the time. If one wanted to attack the heads, they would have to wait until they came out - and in that case, the heads are getting ready to strike. Fighting Scylla would've been a death wish. If Odysseus tried to fight her, WAY more than six people would've died that day, and it's likely that NOBODY would've been getting out of that alive. What good would a bloody, violent battle be if it was all completely pointless? 3. "Hides inside a wooden horse to get the job done": Oh, yeah. As if the Trojans would've just let the men of Ithaca inside. They had to sneak in because Troy was a walled city. If they wanted to force their way in on foot, they would have to either break down the walls or knock down the door. And while doing something like that wouldn't be impossible, they would've been at risk of giving the Trojans enough time to gather a force to confront them once they got in, making the battle take way longer and have much more casualties on the side of the Ithacans than needed, and/or they would've had to face archers shooting at them from the walls. And it seems like it would be pretty hard to break into a city if you have to hold a shield above your head the whole time to keep yourself from getting killed. 4. "Never handles things up front": Convenient how Ares just ignores the Winion confrontation, the cyclops battle, as well as the confrontation with Circe. Odysseus has no problem directly dealing with people. He's just smart enough to not get himself killed. 5. "Pathetic and weak like his son": Telemachus was never taught how to fight. He and his mother have been trying to keep caring for the suitors from putting them into poverty and from forcing Penelope to marry one of them. They have bigger fish to fry than getting into fights for no good reason. Furthermore, the one time Telemachus did get into a fight, he did so willingly, even though he lacked combat experience and was going up against someone stronger than him. He wanted to keep his mother safe that much. And he didn't even mind losing. How Ares could think he is "pathetic" is beyond me. - And don't get me started on him calling Odysseus pathetic. Please. We would be here all day. - Athena also has some choice words for Ares and Aphrodite: "Hold your tongue now His son's my friend And tell your lover that a broken heart can mend You want more bloodshed? Then set him free To get back to his homestead, he'll make everybody bleed" - GET 'EM ATHENA. TELL 'EM. TELL THEM HOW WHACK THEY ARE. - Let's move on to Hera: "[HERA] So many heroes So many tales Give me one good reason why yours should prevail

[ATHENA] He’s got the mind of a genius

[HERA] Try harder.

[ATHENA] He’s pretty skilled with words

[HERA] You can do better than that!" - One thing that can be noticed right away is that unlike the other gods Athena has faced, Hera isn't concerned about Odysseus' actions - she care more about his character, who he is as a person. - And Athena, like the gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss she is, figures out what will convince Hera after a few tries: "[ATHENA] Never once has he cheated on his wife

[HERA, spoken] ...Release him." - Before "The Circe Saga" came out, I thought Athena was lying here. After all, in the original "Odyssey", Odysseus does cheat on his wife. Twice (that we know of), actually. First with Circe (for an entire YEAR), and again with Calypso (even though being trapped on that island made him depressed, he was not above sleeping with her). - I am so glad that Jay cut both of those plotlines. While the ancient Greeks might have considered Odysseus to still be faithful, modern audiences would have had trouble buying that idea. - Furthermore, telling Hera that Odysseus never cheated on Penelope works for two reasons: 1. Hera was seen as the goddess of marriage. 2. Zeus cheated on Hera with a LOT of women, and has a LOT of illegitimate children. Hera has tried to kill some of them (see: The Labors of Heracles/Hercules) (with that said, I think its sweet how Hera's encouraging Athena instead of antagonizing her, since she's also an illegitimate child of Zeus'). - And would you look at that! Athena did it! She completed the task. Now let's see how Zeus reacts... "[ATHENA, spoken] I've played your game and won! Release him!

[ZEUS] You dare to defy me?! To make me feel shame?! No one beats me, NO ONE WINS MY GAME! THUNDER, BRING HER THROUGH THE WRINGER! SHOW HER I'M THE JUDGEMENT CALL, THE ONE WHO MAKES HER KINGDOM FALL!"

- Zeus responds to being beaten by striking his favorite daughter with lightning. - The question is: why?! She did what she was told, and she didn't cheat. Did he not expect her to win? Did he really think that the alleged goddess of wisdom wouldn't be able to outsmart her fellow Olympians? And if he didn't want her to succeed, why not add Poseidon to the lineup? He'd be enraged about Odysseus being alive at all. - Not only that, but she picked the harder option. Let me say again that Athena was supposed to be Zeus' favorite. She could've easily convinced her father by appealing to his ego and making a deal or two. But instead, she decided to increase her workload. And her reward for going above-and-beyond to prove herself is getting electrocuted? - Yeah, no. Zeus is now on the priority list for defenestration. And even then, getting yeeted out of a window might be too good for this man, once we take into account his treatment of Hera and women in general. - Ares asks if Athena is dead. A piano rendition of "Warrior of the Mind" begins to play. And based on how sad it sounds, I wouldn't be surprised if it was in a minor key. It doesn't look like Athena is getting up. As a matter of fact, it looks like this might be the end. - But this is what I'm going to call a "musical fakeout". Because next thing you know, a small part of "Legendary" starts playing, and then the brass kicks in. We are back in a major key. Athena has remembered Telemachus. She has remembered that Odysseus still needs her. She remembered why she's here. And she's not taking no for an answer: "Let him go, please... Let him go..." - Even after getting struck by lighting and what should've been an easy victory, Athena still finds the strength to get up and continue pleading for Odysseus' freedom. How awesome is that? - Oh, and based on Athena's tone here and the usage of the word "please", we know now why Zeus was so angry: Athena wasn't cowering enough when she told him that she beat him (do you think the Greek gods had windows large enough for a whole person to fit out of on Mount Olympus? Just asking...) - Also, this is the first final song out of all the sagas that doesn't feel like it has an ending moment of catharsis. All the other final songs had reached a place plot-wise that made ending its particular saga there make sense, or they had a brief instrumental at the end that let you know the saga was over. But this song simply ends with Athena asking for Odysseus be set free, and... that's it. We don't know Zeus' response. I was actually shocked (pun not intended... again) by this lack of closure. But I think it was done on purpose. We're not going to be "playing" as Athena anymore. The next saga switches us back to Odysseus, so we need to know how things go on his end (that, and it kills the tension for an answer to Athena's plea to be given explicitly by Zeus, or implied by the music). Final Thoughts - This should've been called "The Angst Saga" with all the emotional damage it has caused (exhibit A: me). - I hope "King" ends with an epic 1v1 fight between Antinous and Odysseus (or Telemachus. Telemachus works too), with Antinous getting knocked out of a window. - On that note, once again, please do not confuse anything negative I may have said about the characters with the actors or crew members of "Epic". I think the cast and crew of "Epic" are all great. Do not think that me talking smack about a character or wanting to see a character face karma is me speaking ill of or wishing harm on the actors, crew, or any other real people, because it is not. Thank you. - Somehow, the "Epic" team keeps making each saga better than the last. I have played this particular one three (3) times so far, and I will do it again.

Correction 11/4/24: Apollo was in a relationship with the muse Calliope, not Calypso. I got their names mixed up while writing this. I'm sorry about that.

[just-a-creep-babe]

My bestie and i were rambling last night about a jeff x reader fic idea v heavily inspired by the bride of chucky and lisa Frankenstein and god i wish i had the energy to write another thing but i dont, so its gonna bounce in my head aimlessly and im gonna make sure it hits every head that sees this ask too fjejfjejd

Reader whos a classic y2k good girl who had a lil bit of a fascination with serial killers, a bit of a hybristophile if you will. Maybe shes friends with nina and they both go a little nuts over dead or incarcerated killers.

Jeff, who is one of these dead serial killers, died in the mid 80s when one of his victims or the cops shot him. Reader finds out where hes buried and maybe does a little google search on black magic to try and resurrect him. Reader, who wasnt expecting to successfully drag his half rotted corpse out of the cemetary and into their house under their families nose, finds out she cant do a resurrection without giving her own life, but can sacrifice someone else, convinces a stranger on craigslist to come over and uses his body to resurrect her man. Jeff, whos now alive and in some random guys body, getting the answers outta her, smart mouthing and half threatening her, and finds it amusing when she giggles and blushes like hes just flirting. Makeover montage in her cute bathroom as he slashes his face again and gets this new body looking the way he likes it. Maybe even testing the new body put after, iykyk 👀👀

I got so much vibes in my head for this too, kicking my feet and giggling rn 😍

Ooooh i can just IMAGINE this as like that Frankenstein remake!! I haven’t had the chance to see it yet but the aesthetic looked so on point 🥰🫶

And then imagine not only does Jeff have to readjust to the modern era—but now all of his victim’s offsprings & relatives find out he’s come back & they start a manhunt for him!! V v good

[mylevisdontfitanymore]

OKOKOK BUT. Steve and Bucky in a personal trainer au.

One of them is a personal trainer that the other goes to to get into shape. They're not overweight or anything, they're just averagely built, so they want to get shredded like they see in comic books and TV and the like. So they start training, but instead of helping him get super swoll, the trainer starts encouraging him to gain weight. He writes him a rigorous diet plan filled with fattening, sugary foods, encourages him to drink copious alcohol at every opportunity, fixes his protein shakes with weight gain power and appetite stimulants, and convinces him that in order to gain muscles you have to gain weight because the more fat you have the more muscles that fat will convert to. They still do training together, but the trainer only makes him do exercises that will show him how much his swelling body jiggles and shakes where it never had before. In the end, with the other guy so much fatter than he ever had been, with moobs and a double chin and a sagging gut, he gives up and decides the exercise is too much work, and when the trainer suggests that they could still be friends and hang out, he no longer has to hide all his attempts at fattening him up, because now he's doing it al on his own anyway. 🥵

Between Steve and Bucky, I don't know who would be the trainer and who would be the unsuspecting other guy....

Can I interest you in a fic where Steve is a personal trainer and teases the SHIT out of big, getting bigger Bucky when they meet by chance in their apartment building? Bucky would never be caught dead taking the stairs after getting out of the army, but when the elevator breaks...

Or... maybe this other fic where Steve's a personal trainer and Bucky is his childhood best friend, also just out of the military, not looking for training but certainly looking for treats and gaining as a result of it? (Chapter 5 is EXACTLY that workout montage you described with lots of teasing)

BUT WAIT! There's more. There's also a childhood friends to lovers fic with lots of kinky weight gain set around Steve being a personal trainer and Bucky as an administrator at the gym. If you like figuring out feelings through kink, you'll love this

I hope those hit the spot because whenever I think about the personal trainer trope, by brain starts to smoke as I combine those three fics into one messy, hedonistic fantasy in my head. I'm not sure I can concentrate enough to do anything but froth at the mouth rn 🥵🥵

[fractiflos]

Please, 5 heacanons for an Anastasia AU where Emperor All for One has been looking for his long-missing little brother. Second and Third are a pair of poor conmen who find an amnesiac orphan named Yoichi and decide to turn him into a fake prince. Except when they actually meet All for One they start to have serious doubts about letting Yoichi go.

Sorry, this took so long, it's been so long since I've seen this, I had to rewatch it. But it was fun! Sorry it got so long though.

Note: I made up a fake country for the emperor to rule. I find this fitting as we all know AFO only becomes an emperor in his imagination.

The Shigaraki family rules the country of Ronea, when their exiled advisor, Garaki, comes and tries to take over, cursing them. Then a revolution happens and they're overthrown. Every one of them is killed except for two. Hisashi (who's 18), who stays behind to fight off the revolutionaries with his own magic, and Yoichi (8) who escaped with the help of two servant boys (Second and Third). He meant to come back, but was knocked down and hit his head. He would end up at an orphanage with no memory of his previous life. Oh, and Hisashi killed Garaki and took all the magic for himself, managing to uncurse them.

10 years later and AFO, after fighting off the revolutionaries and taking his place as emperor, has placed a high bounty for the safe return of his brother, who everyone assumes is dead, but no one's going to tell the emperor he's delusional. Meanwhile, Second and his best friend Third, have become conmen after being unable to continue work as servants in the palace, as they got really tired of being forced to care for the emperor's Demon King dolls action figures. They decide to try and turn in a fake prince. Sure, others have tried it, but they have insider knowledge, so obviously they would succeed.

Meanwhile, Yoichi has been tossed from home to home, finally escaping the system at age 18. He has only one relic from his previous life, a silver bracelet with "My Little Brother" inscribed. Not super helpful, but whatever, he's given up any hope of family and is off to Paris to pursue his dream of becoming an author, with the corgi he finds on the way there, which he names Tomura. Sadly, AFO isn't letting anyone leave the country, just in case they happen to be his brother. The only way out is to be smuggled out, and so, he's directed to find The Number Duo.

Shocked by his resemblance to the prince and his coincidental matching name, they convince him to pretend to be Prince Yoichi. After all, surely the prince will have the time to write a book and the money to move to Paris. He agrees; Cue the prince training montage with all the kind of flirting and stuff.

Of course, they don't have to go on a big journey here, as they're all in the same country, they just have to say they found the prince and they'll be let in. AFO never gave up on seeing his brother again, no matter how many fakes he had to go through. (He kills them, but not many people know that little detail)

Yoichi starts to remember more and more of his old life as they walk through the palace, and is able to ace the test AFO gives him, including details he was never even taught. Like how he managed to escape...

In order to celebrate, AFO invites them all to a party he's throwing in honor of his brother's return, but the number duo can't help but feel that something's not right with the man. Something about the look in his eye doesn't seem quite right. Their suspicions are confirmed when AFO's new advisor, Toshinori Yagi tells them about how AFO has used the souls of the fakes he killed to power up a new spell. One that will keep Yoichi from ever having to leave him again.

Meanwhile, Yoichi can't help the uneasiness he feels around his brother, but ignores it. They're family after all. (The bracelet feels heavy around his wrist.) Tomura the corgi runs off just as the party starts and ends up in the gardens, right into AFO's arms. There, Yoichi finds out just what he's planning through AFO's monologue, which triggers a few more flashbacks.

You see, AFO and Garaki had been best friends, and learned dark magic together, eventually selling their souls for the opportunity to carry out their plans. AFO becoming emperor and the rest of his family (sans Yoichi) getting killed was planned, but Garaki trying to take the throne for himself, was not, so he got killed. Yoichi was the only family AFO had loved as the rest all made fun of him, so he wanted to keep him around forever. He gave Yoichi the bracelet (which he had sold his soul for) saying to always wear it, as it would protect him in times of need. That was a lie, the bracelet was enchanted, but it needed to be activated first. The enchantment made it so that Yoichi's soul would leave his body and be forever bound to his brother, unable to leave him again.

Second & Third arrive on the scene and it turns into a battle, where Tomura manages to bite the bracelet off, but that only buys him time. Then there's a game of keep-away with the bracelet, and eventually Yoichi manages to break the bracelet, causing AFO to turn into dust.

AFO dies, and Yoichi becomes king of Ronea, marrying Second & Third. Tomura gets to live a spoiled life with some corgi friends he made, Mon-chan and Hana. Nana Shimura is the royal dogsitter. The Trioholders had their honeymoon in Paris and Yoichi got to write several books. The end.

This was a lot more than what I was expecting to write, but I really love this movie.

In my original version (what I came up with before I rewatched the movie), AFO was the evil advisor and brainwashed everyone into thinking Yoichi was his little brother who went tragically missing when some evil revolutionaries (AKA Yoichi's real family) stormed the palace. Those revolutionaries were the Aoyama family. He was Yoichi Aoyama. That one was so different I thought I'd mention it here.

Anyway, I hope you liked this :)

[sunny6677]

MY S/I IN TENDER TREATS!!

TWS FOR GORE, BLOOD, ATTEMPTED MURDER, SUNNY GOING THROUGH IT AGAIN, SUNNY BEING TRAUMATIZED, ETC

@mayisgoingnuts @crossover-enthusiast

————

So for this episode, Sunny is going as an angel, and because Lila is staying home, Sunny doesn't really trust the kids out on their own despite Lila's many assurances that they'll be fine. So she decides she'll go out trick or treating with them this year even if she doesn't really wanna go, especially with the serial killer that's apparently on the loose. Sunny doesn't plan on letting them trick or treat for long since this is the time of year the killer always goes out to murder people, and she actually did try convincing them not to go at first. But they were really dead set on going so she decided she'd come with.

Sunny is seen walking anxiously in the background after Lila helps her get ready—and is kinda just looking at her phone as Skid talks to Pump. She goes off to sit on the couch, looking up different things about safety or things about Bob just to be incredibly sure that things will go alright tonight. Eventually, Pump arrives though, and Sunny nearly misses them. But she goes running after them as they look both ways, and still struggles to catch up with them when they continue running.

Sunny is seen walking up to a house with the Spookeez while Lila is screaming angrily at a boy in a devil costume in the back—with Sunny walking ahead but occasionally glancing back because she hears yelling. She does notice that it's Lila—but seeing that the boy is in a red devil costume thinks the boy must have deserved it for dressing as a serial killer or trying to do something dangerous—though also hearing what Lila is screaming thinks the boy must have made the cruel joke of threatening her son. But then Sunny notices Skid and Pump trying to break the door down. She tries taking the hammer—but she's too late and nearly gets her hand hurt while Pump hammers the door in.. aaaand then Ignacio comes bursting out yelling. Sunny immediately feels intimidated while still holding the kids back, and tries to apologize. But Ignacio is like 'Haha—sorry?! They just broke my door!'. Sunny immediately reverts into mumbling and stammering since now she's even more intimidating, which Skid and Pump notice and don't like that Ignacio is 'making her scared', so they start 'roaring' at him to scare him into giving them candy. Sunny stares in mild confusion as Ignacio is just mildly annoyed and hands them candy. Due to Ignacios aggressive nature, Sunnys a bit unsure about the candy while the Spookeez just cheer.

A short montage of the Spookeez saying different variations of Trick Or Treat goes on—with Sunny reluctantly helping them out or saying it with them. Like sometimes she holding them up or doing whatever trick they're doing with them—and very much struggling to say whatever they're saying. But they receive lots of candy anyway. When they get to the church though, Sunnys a bit anxious considering this is a literal church that they're going to. But then Gregor suddenly comes out and throws boiling water on Lucky. Sunny (ironically) goes 'Holy SHIT!'. She ends up pulling the kids away, and thinks of yelling at Gregor for what he just didn't, but then she notices the kids getting away and is forced to run after them. So she decides to maybe call the police or Lila about it when she has the chance.

When Skid and Pump decide to go to the forest, Sunny almost protests because of the possibility of wild animals, but they don't let her finish and run in anyway. She goes in after them and just kinda chases them while grunting anytime she runs into stuff before they eventually run back out. She follows them—but then they immediately decide on going to the Haunted House, forcing her to run after them yet again. They do eventually slow down though since they notice Sunny not even being near them—and then they run again once she's close enough./lh.

Sunny frantically runs after Skid and Pump once they practically come crashing into the Haunted House, and runs onto the doorstep with them. She kind of nervously admires the set before Streber pops out from the entrance and gives his little vampire monologue. His sudden appearance startles Sunny—but the technology and his costume and acting kind of impress her, so she's quietly giggling the whole time. And seems even more impressed when he shows them the mirror. Sunny is almost too busy admiring the whole set and nearly compliments him on it, but isn't able to since the kids run in after Streber tells them to go inside and she paces after them.

Sunny goes into the Haunted House with them, shielding her eyes, nearly losing the kids in the process and visibly not having a good time (but also is at the same time in a weird way cuz the whole haunted house looks cool) as the kids just cheer in front of her. Sunny is also more anxious because she very much feels like there's someone following them (which there is—).

When they finally go out of the Haunted House, Sunny breaths a sigh of relief but is still kind of amazed. But as she sighs, Skid and Pump walk up to the now visibly injured Streber. She bends down next to it too, thinking it's real at first—but when Skid and Pump say that it looks so real, she thinks that maybe it's just part of the house. But it's also because her brain is in realll denial about it being an actual person. She still doesn't know if it was actually real, and keeps looking behind herself and looks away as Bob comes out. And decides to maybe also call the police about that when she's in a zone with higher wifi and when she has the chance just incase it really was real.

During the Frank interaction, Sunny is still kinda pacing after the kids, but is visibly more anxious and keeps looking in all kinds of directions. That is at least until they run into Frank, and Sunny stops after helping the kids up. She looks even more frightened when seeing Frank because of the whole body bag incident, and goes dead silent and just keeps staring at him. And is kinda like that for the rest of the scene until he walks off and steals a kids candy, which she flashes a confused but irritated look at. The kids give the candy they got to the kid Frank stole candy from after though, which is why they don't have candy in the next scene they show up in.

Sunny walks up with the kids to the candy store, looking around at the road to make sure no cars are coming, and then walks in with them. She tries to greet Kevin, but then he suddenly stomps up while saying 'no' over and over and pushes the kids away specifically. Sunny looks confused since she doesn't know why he's literally trying to shove them out, and asks what he's doing—which causes Kevin to go on a full fleged rant about how he's not letting them bring him trouble. He'll give Sunny the candy cans apparently, but he's not letting Skid and Pump set foot into his store. And as he rants, Sunny is confused since half the stuff he's saying doesn't sound true at first, at least until the killer doll part since she looks down at them anxiously afterward. Just the mention of the doll makes her kinda remember the whole incident from episode four.

Either way, she's kinda quiet—at least until she notices Bob from outside the window staring in. Kevin seems to notice as well, and already feeling creeped out, he gets in front of both Sunny and the kids protectively. Sunny is confused at first, but she remembers the thing about the serial killer and starts to think whoever this is might actually be him. And she seems to think that even more when he pulls out the knife. She kinda yells at him out of fear, and looks even more afraid when Kevin tries to trip him by letting the candy go all over the floor but just ends up tripping instead. Sunnys frozen in fear until Kevin gets back up and tells the kids to go outside. And he also kinda drags Sunny out there with him since she's still frozen.

Sunny goes out into the back with them, and curses under her breath from fear while the kids tell an incredibly angry Kevin that they just want their candy can. In an attempt to get them to leave, Kevin nearly drops the box onto the kids, which normally Sunny would have tried protecting them—but she's basically in shock at this point. After the kids thank Kevin who just points for them to leave, Sunny follows them after reluctantly standing there.

Sunny follows the kids all across town as they carry their box of candy, and decides to carry it herself at some point, but is very silent the whole time and dissociated. She crosses the crowded street with them, and notices The Hatzgang, but for whatever reason she can't speak up and tell the kids not to go that way since her anxiety is that bad at the moment. When Roy tries taking the candy, Sunny responds with irritaton that's fueled a little more than normal and angrily cuts him off—telling him to stop. Roy rolls his eyes and tries making a snarky comment back, but Ross drags him away to scold him. Then Robert goes up afterwards, and asks for candy for his sister. Though Sunny is annoyed, she can see that it's just a question, so she tries giving him candy herself—but Robert decides to just take some from the box. Ross takes some. And when Roy takes some, Sunny looks even more irritated since a part of her almost thinks he'll take the whole thing. After he stops, she walks away with the kids, seeming even more annoyed but still anxious. And she has very angry daydreams about Roy because she's so annoyed at him that she just wants to find some way to take it out/lh.

When she's walking alone with the kids later on, her anxiety is heightened a bit since they're actually alone now and she's all alone with the kids, plus her phone has little to no wifi which is why she hasn't been answering any of the calls Lila has been making to her (and also because she was always too busy to either hear her phone or answer it). She gets the feeling of being watched again, only for Bob to step out from a building and stop them. Sunny is very afraid and disturbed at the same time as he tries telling them fun facts, and when he confirms that he's indeed going to play 'hide and seek' with the kids—Sunny just kinda grabs the kids by the hand and runs in the opposite direction while Bob is counting—fleeing completely as Skid and Pump speak to her in confusion. Bob starts chasing after her, and after a long while of running—Sunny sees Jaune and Lila in the distance.

She nearly cries out of relief and runs right up to them, trying to explain go them what happened as Lila hugs Skid and as Jaune bends down next to Pump. Jaune & Lila seem worried but can't really understand any of what she's trying to say because of how fast she's talking. Pump says something about this big fat red guy inviting them to hide and seek, only for said guy to appear from right behind Sunny at the end of the sidewalk. Sunny notices him only when Lila & Jaune look his way—and dives behind them both to hide while heavily breathing. Sunny pulls Skid back—and immediately starts to run with them across the street when they all start running. Sunny nearly takes off without them since she thought they'd actually be running and not just doing that, but she stops when they visibly aren't—and ends up getting a better view of Jack brutally running Bob over than the others, which sends her into shock again.

Sunny has her mouth literally agape as she tries looking away, but she can't get the image out of her head as the police step out. Sunny is confused when people in costumes congratulate them, but is more frightened and desperate to get home than anything. After Lila asks if they can take them home, and the police agree, Sunny goes up to the car—impatiently waiting to get inside so she doesn't have to stare at the body any longer. And she practically shoved herself inside—stuck between Jaune and Lila in the process as she just thinks of everything that just happened. Sunny nearly looks at her phone just to check the time and sees they've been out for a good while.

And as she's checking her phone for other things, Bob comes alive for the second time and tries attacking them inside. Sunny only notices him when Jaune screams and scoots the fuck back from him—practically being crushed by Jaune in the process since she's right behind her. Sunny is actually crying at this point—breathing hysterically and cursing all the way through. That is until Bob gets shot, causing Sunny to space out. Then she hears the sound of more gunshots, causing her to cover her ears and whimper anxiously. And when it stops, she looks up—breathing shakily as John & Jack finally get back in. Jack apologizes, and Sunny can only keep crying—wiping at her eyes. Skid is worried, and Sunny practically pleads with him to not talk to her as he tries cheering her up—but then Bob comes alive for the THIRD time and starts crawling onto the car.

Sunny screams over and over—scooting back like that's gonna do anything. But then when the car lunges foward and Jack furiously moves it back, Sunny realizes that this is gonna be messy as hell and covers her eyes—whimpering anytime she hears the brutal crushing of Bob's body.

When she finally gets home with Lila and Skid, she probably isn't present for the final scene since she goes off to hide in her room after everything that happened—and I imagine she possibly tells Susie about it a little later but not the whole thing since she doesn't wanna worry her too much. But Sunny probably just lays on her bed and watches something to try and forget everything. And eventually, she comes out just to get something to drink. She does see the ripped photo on the ground, and asks what it is or tries giving it to Lila since she thinks she might have dropped it, but seeing how Lila reacts to it makes Sunny decide to just drop it and leave it on the kitchen counter somewhere.

(Other detail: Sunny would possibly try weakly saying hi when she noticed Susie letting Pump in after they drop him off at his house, but Susie probably doesn't notice or just gives her a small wave in return before shutting the door)

[eisforeidolon]

I'm glad to see Jensen is team "Ben not being Dean's son.

Oh, same.

The whole Lisa & Ben interlude is one of those things I always find weirdly fascinating, because it's one of the particularly standout times other fans have gotten something so SO different from me out of watching the same show.

Like, to me? It seems so clear Dean going to live with Lisa & Ben is trying to turn a fantasy into reality and ultimately realizing it doesn't work. He was worn down from all the apocalyptic-level shit enough to start dreaming about being normal, and there was Lisa with a ready-made family he could imagine fitting into. Easy, right? Except when he goes to try to live it as reality, not only was he heartbroken over losing Sam? From the start, the everyday life montage is intercut with scenes of him remembering fighting monsters, which to me implies a disconnect from the life he's actually living now - even if you discount that he's also pointedly shown drinking, which I don't. He's been having beers for a year with a guy who knows nothing about him, so he doesn't seem to have any real friends. His immediate response to hearing a scream is to go looking for a hunt and lie to Lisa about it. Even after the reveal that Sam is back and he decides to stay there, which is at least partially out of feelings of obligation? The intrusion of monsters bursts his little bubble of pretend so hard he turns obsessively paranoid and controlling. Which is so intense it honestly seems to me like it would have inevitably happened at the first monster intrusion, Sam or no Sam. I do think Lisa is speaking true when she says she knew it was over when Sam came back because of their unconventional relationship? But I also think neither she nor Dean is being entirely honest about how genuinely happy and stable they really were before that - from what we were actually shown.

Yet there are other people that watched that same set of episodes and are convinced if it wasn't for Sam, Dean would have been deliriously happy forever in suburbia with Lisa & Ben. Ben should definitely have been Dean's biological son so he would have stayed and done what was really best for himself!

Add on to that how I found Ben whiny and annoying when he tried to pretend his mother dating someone else was the end of the world? And how bringing Lisa & Ben back at that point and the end of the season just felt like resurrecting an already dead story for gratuitous angst purely for the sake of angst? Not to mention how the only supposed evidence for it actually being true is a demon talking shit and the kid acting vaguely like Dean when Lisa pointedly stated that she "had a type" so all that was just as likely someone else's (or several someone elses') influence?

Yeah, I'm pleased to see Jensen add himself to team "Ben's not Dean's son" alongside Kripke [X].

[loco-warehouse]

Britney Mutation Notes!!

Okay, so I've been playing with this idea more and I think I'm like 25% there.

Originally I wanted it to be more of a Season 4, three episode arc, but with more studying over the story arc, it's currently a mid to late Season 3 focused development.

While it's mainly 95% fun of what Britney's mutation form would be like, its also 5% development for her character and her parents, Angela and Baxter.

First off, her mutation-- temporarily renamed to "Mothra" thanks to Mikey, is basically Britney turning into a silk moth. Specifically, a hyalophora cecropida! I think the most hardest decision with Britney mutating into a moth, is that I had to make her non-cognitive. She's truly animalistic, and other than a thrown bow hanging onto her head, she's mainly unrecognizable to most folks.

As to how she got the moth DNA, though most possible detail to change, the main idea I had is her school had a field trip where they visited a biology museum, and they were allowed to pin certain insects to exhibit and experience the process. Thus, Britney getting Moth DNA on her.

The first episode I do have the main idea now; It starts off with Britney, still in school clothes and her backpack, helping the Hamato Turtles, along with April and Casey, to beat up TC, Xever, and Chris (and another oc lowkey COUGH it's Alec @dongpound .) Shredder enters the picture to flip the winning card for them and finally takes notice of WHO Britney is, by one of her loose pieces of homework with her Full Name written on it, along with a torn piece of fabric from her shirt.

It mainly dissolves into two things.

For Britney's end, she's able to gain a closer and empathetic sense to April when she comes forward about her torn shirt. April agrees on taking her to the mall, and its a fun montage of each of them going through a selection of terrible outfits before finding the right one.

The night ends with them at a gas station corner, slurping down Icee's and feasting on cheap nachos and hot dogs. The two get to talking, mainly with how they understand how it feels to be the "odd one out" with mutant ninjas, even if April does have some Kraang connection/powers. It devolves into a conversation where they both mention how small their friend groups have gotten. April used to have a normal relationship with her father and classmates-- hell, one of them was even a crush (COUGH ALLIE COUGH @ dongpound) and Irma being her best friend, nothing was ever the same. Britney shares a same experience. Britney was one of the more popular kids, having friends left and right, before she had to deal with a missing/possibly dead father and distance mother. With grieving and taking care of herself, she became an odd classmate that most ppl weren't a fan of anymore. It's a good, relatable moment for them, noting that they're both truly trying their best.

Anyways enough time with Britney, its Angela/Baxter angst time

Shredder now knows that Britney is related to the both of them, and even takes that information as betrayal towards the Foot Clan. He calls Baxter and Angela forth, explaining how he knows what they're hiding and wants them to relocate their child if they want them to have any chance of survival from Shredder.

Now, we're in a mini ride for how the two now feel about their relationship. Immediately, both Angela and Baxter knew where she needs to be sent to...Angela's parents farm. They both know it would take a lot to convince Britney to make this easy for them, but aren't excited for their temporary partnership.

Baxter is still continuously dishonest, while Angela sees the two of them as "dead."

Both sides are chasing after a much needed item (idk what that is yet)

And it leads the Hamato crew and the Stockman crew meeting each other by accident Thus mutagen somehow befalling Britney. It's a painful mutation to watch, but it is brutal and filled with a child begging for help.

Baxter and Angela were able to save their daughter by taking her out the picture. Now, they watch her tortured form fly around and hit glass walls and barely hanging onto hope that she'll ever gain some sense of normalcy.

[saffronscales]

here is summarised version:

starts with Squirrelkit and Ashfur. pretty cool guys they are good friends. ashfur is squirrelkit’s uncle (in canon also that’s why I made this au) and they have a strong bond. Squirrelkit notices sometimes that in the night…… asjfur goes out?????? and comes back with smelly water fish man smell. one day there is a huge argument in the clearing between bramble and ash over this, and that night.. ashfur is DEAD. like actually dead. hit his head on a rock by accident, drowned in a river!!!! Squirrelkit is devastated

when she becomes an apprentice ashfur appears in her dreams!!! dark forest training montage. also they’re still best buds. Squirrelpaw gets emo green hair and goes to the warrior cat ball with brambleclaw. brambleclaw is the new incel.

Squirrelpaw evolves into squirrelflight. brambleclaw’s deputy, and hawkfrost is now dead. two silly gay people are now in the dark forest together. (ashfur and hawkfrost.) when leafpool is pregnant ashfur appears to speak with her this is how it goes:

ashfur: hey niece 2.0 heard you hooked up with some guy.

leafpool: uncle ashfur why is the first time you talk to me outside of you living about me hooking up with crowfeather

ashfur: calm down bro.  and dw I gotchu I was in that same situation

leafpool: what

ashfur: what

leafpool: so what am I supposed to do

ashfur: idk should’ve thought about that before being straight

anyway the three are born, grow up and then the fire scene rolls around. brambleclaw is the evil guy. squirrelflight tells brambleclaw the truth about her not actually having the kits. hollyleaf ATTEMPTS to kill brambleclaw but fails because like his dad he’s just one solid chunk of fluffy muscle. so she runs into the tunnels out of 1. embarrassment and because she was fed up with facing reality

oots goes by and hawkfrost don’t die!,, yippe!!!(?)

pretty big timeskip but in the broken code, shadowsight is a full on clone of ashfur. like got the weird scribble eye (in actuality it’s a birth defect) and the exact markings. but like the same colour palette as ferncloud (a bit darker than ashfur). unfortunately hawkfrost is actually an asshole. hawkfrost manipulâtes ashfur into convincing shadowsight to take bramblestar’s life. silly clones. then it all happens and ashfur just kinda. possesses bramblestar. yea. ashfur is set on just being cool with squirrelflight (and literally everyone) but the clans don’t like the fact that a ghost stole thunderclan’s leader’s body. so they riot against him and ashfur’s like well crap. so he goes back to the dark forest but whoops he kinda made a hole between the dark forest and the starclan. oh no now people are out to kill ashfur. 

in the final “fight” (more of a violent confrontation) greystripe doesnt die and shadowsight kinda just.. falls into a bit of dark river. ashfur notices and saves him but bristlefrost think he’s trying to drown him. shadowsight is kinda chucked into the center of the battlefield while bristlefrost and ashfur fight it out. hawkfrost saves ashfur, and stops him from saving bristlefrost. ashfur pushes past hawkfrost and saves her anyway. they argue. ashfur literally attempts to murder his husband. but he loses a lot of his power. they kinda break up (not really they get back together unfortunately). everything goes pretty much back to normal. that’s all I’ve done so far. I am thinking of ashfur being like.. frostpaw’s guide to ghosts. yk

ROCK ON DUDE!!!!! your au is sick. here’s a few doodles because I thought it was funny

[loquaciousquark]

4-Sided Dive Highlights - Critical Role C3 up to E52 (Mar. 22, 2023)

I will catch up with these if it kills me. No fluff tonight, only hard-hitting facts! Tonight's guests: Liam, Marisha, Taliesin, and Ashley. We open with a recap from the previous episode where the broom was murdered while the lights were out. A montage shows us all the times we featured Broomy on the show. Rest in peace, bristles. The rest of the opening is an in media res discussion about pickles and a Kentucky vodka/Koolaid/pickle juice horror. Ashley wins host and the script lampshades the irregular show schedule along with the chaos of the show at this point. Broomy gets a moment of silence and we are introduced to his replacement, Moppo.

What the Fuck is Up With That? We start with a discussion of creating Nana Morri. Ashley reminds us that the birdhouse her mom made (which looked like a hag hut) was a big inspiration for the character. The double-face situation and the ET neck were all Matt. Ashley did know she had two heads before everyone else; she sent him a whole doc of ideas at the start (tree house, creepy Swiss Family Robinson, Fearne's menagerie, beauty from a distance but creepy up close), and Matt came back and extrapolated upon it. Ashley loves the idea of all Fearne's wildshape animals being misfit idiots all the way down.

How did everyone feel about the Fey Realm? Orym was sad they had to leave so soon. Ashton loved the rule of chaos. Laudna loved Grandma and how creepy everyone was; Marisha loved the idea of having two heads to take over the work. (I haven't fully caught up in my show watch and I miss Laudna so much!)

Everyone thinks the break-in with the portable hole usage was fantastic. Everyone wants to know about the Fey creature riding the dragon.

Dani sometimes sends them lore updates during games: "y'all, that item is literally sitting on the table in front of you, that just happened an hour ago." Neat!

How did the Apogee Solstice go? Marisha: "medium." Matt said they went right down the middle, could have gone better and could have gone way worse. Ashley felt completely paralyzed by indecision; Marisha was proud she stuck to destroying the power sources. They wish they could have done more with their previous campaign characters.

Marisha felt like she was in a fugue state when Beau showed up; Liam was devastated he couldn't roll better. Ashley was really struggling against her personal desire to get them out of chains ASAP. Liam loved the "sweet sweet irony of Caleb being collared y Aeor tech." He was really excited about the idea of destroying Otohan's backback, frustrated in the moment with his rolls, and then on review still felt like he'd made the right decision pursuing that for his character.

Marisha was convinced she was going to watch at least one of her characters die. Liam short-circuited and couldn't talk for half an hour after the episode, and almost everyone (except Sam & Travis) couldn't sleep that night.

Liam had completely closed the door on Vax in his head. He never expected to see him again after the wedding. To have him show up now both flabbergasted Liam and blew him away with the recontextualized attack on Keyleth in Orym's backstory. Both Marisha & Liam kept looking back and seeing seeds that Vax might show up later having been planted very early in the story. "It's not the first time Keyleth's been attacked. Fuck!"

Would they be okay if either of their characters are dead? Yes, they trust Matt. Marisha would prefer Keyleth to die over Beau; Beau has more to do, and Keyleth's biggest fear was always "being the last leaf on the tree."

Liam always felt that VM was a complete, closed story, while M9 was more a chapter in those characters' lives. He feels they're often going to come together over the years.

Ashley felt she was too timid in the Apogee attack. She wishes she could take a second shot at it. Marisha was mentally tracking Keyleth's HP for the whole fight and panicked when she realized how close she was to death.

Liam loves the challenge of taking the straight man role (similar to Keyleth in C1), except EVERYONE is Grog. Everyone thinks Deanna and FRIDA will be a calming influence.

Ashley loves Aabria's range and ability to jump from comedic to serious on a dime. Christian is incredible and brings energy to the table.

Liam is jealous he doesn't get to play with them. Marisha laughs that every time she sits back and just watches the show, she's like, "damn, this is good." She never realized how much Travis has been emoting this season since she sits next to them. Ashley loves watching people perform and be at the top of their game.

The Tower of Inquiry! What has been your favorite scene not involving your character? Ash: Laudna & Imogen & the breaking rock. Tal: Chetney getting dark with the shopkeeper. Liam: Fearne & Chet sexual tension scene. Marisha: Chetney calling bullshit on Delilah, Fearne as a quokka.

Liam pulls again: What surprises have you discovered about your character? Tal: what punk in Exandria means for Ashton: "life's not fair, and you either believe that it's not fair because life is chaos or you believe life's not fair because there's a bunch of interventionist assholes above you who have decided that you don't get to be a winner. Is is it a world where there are winners and losers, or is it in a world where there are interventionist gods?"

Both Ashley & Marisha love Laudna's relationship with Ashton. Ashton brings up parallels Laudna wants to deny: "she really wanted to be past this." "Right! It's--how fucking dare you be past this? How dare you!" "Exactly!" Ashton chooses not to believe Laudna is past it, because otherwise that means it's a thing you can get past, which means Ashton is wrong, which is impossible. "It's amazing the way [Ashton] is obviously projecting."

Liam goes to Zephra a lot in his mind palace. He never expected how much he was going to think about Orym's dead family and wondering if they would meet again. He has synthetic memories of interactions of Orym and Will, Orym's mother...

Tal has enormous portions of Whitestone fastidiously mapped out in his head: he knows the library, the gardens, the clock tower, and the ruins to the east. He can walk there and back in his mind's eye.

Ashley has learned that she really enjoys making everyone else cringe, ahaha. She loves when she can feel Laura looking over in concern. Everyone LOVED her stealing Ira's spyglass. Everyone lists off Travis's tics that tell Ashley she's on the verge of going too far.

Character's daily routines? Every night, Laudna gets out her little house and tucks in the dolls and puts them to bed properly. "Pate has to die every night." Everyone adores Pate peeling his ribs open. Ashton's routine is medicinal chronic pain management and deciding every night whether he's going to get drunker or get angry tonight. Both Dani & Tal talk a little about their personal struggles with chronic pain and enjoying seeing Ashton learn to deal with it.

Favorite spell or class feature? Laudna: Form of Dread. Fearne: Sleight of Hand.

The Deep Dive! Orym feels completely played as regards Keyleth & the Apogee. Everyone agrees there were lots of failsafes to make sure Keyleth showed up even if he hadn't reached out.

Ashley is very curious to see how magic has been affected by the solstice, but she's more panicking that Orym is gone and she's off the leash (ha!).

Laudna will always be there to validate Imogen's feelings; it's okay to have these thoughts and questions about what if the Ruby Vanguard is right, examining whether the relationship with the gods is healthy or cyclical abuse. However, "we can all sit here and do a nice big thought experiment about what the world would be like without gods, but that thought experiment doesn't necessarily include all of the consequences of the Ruby Vanguard's plan...which is a world without gods, not necessarily a bad thing. Unleashing a god-eating-elder-old-one-type being, maybe a bad idea. Worse." Liam talks about how these people killed a bunch of people precious to him. Dani reminds us that the god haters killed Laudna and a god-lover (Pike) brought her back. "You can't deny the existence of the gods. All you can do is be really resentful of them." They're manipulative if you choose to take the cynical point of view; Caduceus, for example, takes the complete opposite viewpoint. Taliesin had to sit down and build a discrete theology for Clay.

Whenever Marisha and Taliesin's characters have conversations in game, she always thinks of things she wishes she'd said or phrased differently. Ashton really struggled with watching Laudna go through what he did, except with the support of so many friends. "Oh, fuck you!" It's an unhealthy, jealous anger. Liam loves the jealousies, the petty faults. Ashton probably does know abandonment more than anyone else in the party, but both Marisha & Laudna were affronted at his claim that he knew loneliness better than her.

Orym is worried about Dorian & everything going on in Tal'Dorei.

Fearne is terrified of Ludinus. Seeing what he did to Sumal put a lot of fear into her, which was a new experience for her.

For about five minutes, both Liam & Marisha had all three characters sharing a map. Laura had said something about how Marisha's characters keep showing up: "Well, I habitually keep making characters that have an issue not working and just won't retire, so they just keep doing things, and maybe that speaks more about me than it does anybody else! Everyone else lets their characters rest and go to sleep, and I don't! I don't know why I'm like this!" It felt personal, but also representative of eight years of work building up the company and the world and the family. It hit everyone very hard and made them emotional.

Ashton is conscious that their abilities are a metaphor. Ashton does not know how his abilities work, but if he doesn't understand them, then neither does your enemy. He counts on being unpredictable. He's scared to death that he cares about Laudna.

Liam: "the three strange witches, their three bodyguards, and a robot." Orym would killed the halfling who surrendered but would have regretted it. Ashton took the locket because he believed this was not a dad who had something to lose; this was a dad who had lost something. "This was not an orphan being made." Ashton does not feel good about it, but there's no second guessing.

Ira is a regular old schmo to Fearne, which is a word I've never written in my life. Laudna is very taken by his confidence.

Laudna HATES not knowing where Laudna is. She loves having Pate with her all the time. If Imogen had been there during the dreams, she would have just held her hands.

Tal: FCG thinks he's dangerous because he's going to turn on everyone. Actually, FCG is dangerous because he's going to keep running headfirst into danger and everyone else is going to try to save them. "It's a monstrously selfish robot." How will FCG deal with someone eventually getting hurt in their defense? That they keep volunteering themselves for dangerous/painful tasks is a selfish sort of martyrdom.

One day with your character? Orym: gym, ballet. Ashton: concert. Laudna: taxidermy class. Fearne: Disneyland.

What would your room in Caleb's tower look like? Fearne's room would just be her own room but more expanded. Ashton: a mid 90s 16-yo kid's room. Caleb would have everyone's rooms connected. Marisha: Children's Museum in St. Louis.

What moments made you really feel you were in Exandria? Tal: the trudge through the snow with Lucien. That was the most he ever felt like Clay. Liam: going to Rexxentrum with the rain and griffin riders and arriving at the church and shattering the stained glass windows. Marisha: the jungle backstory conversation with Liam with the lighting cues and projections and the fireflies and the rain; having everything green and lush in her head really cemented the moment. Ash: descending on Aeor and realizing how old everything was. Liam: the Matron arriving on the steps at the end of C1. Taliesin: "I can't remember what I had for breakfast yesterday and I remember every fucking moment of that day."

Favorite movie genre? Laudna: regency romance. Orym: Crouching Tiger, Errol Flynn. Fearne: soap operas. Ash: documentaries.

Post-Break Shenanigans: "Moving Out" on the Switch. I love silly little games like this and yet this one doesn't scratch the itch at all!

Orym understands Imogen's waffling about the Ruby Vanguard; he knows she wants a relationship with her mother. "It's a simple solution to a pretty complicated problem, though."

Ashton thinks Jiana Hexum is what he deserves. "I know a supervillain" is what he has to offer the group.

Fearne loved that Nana Morri came to her rescue, but just doesn't want her to get hurt.

Laudna loved the Fey Realm. She wishes they could have spent more time there. Liam wants the beating-heart topiary collection. Tal wants a mug.

Tal will drip out what happened with the kenku over the next five years. Ha! There's so much crosstalk; even with captions, this is awful, haha.

Fearne knows her position with the Ruidusborn means she might have been used as part of this plot. She's not excited about it, but it's such a complex problem that she's going to wait and see what happens. Fearne would be the least helpful in a move.

Laudna both misses Pate and his ability to heal her to full hit points. Everyone marvels at Matt's ability to rhyme off the cuff.

Orym is marvelling that the Wildmother finds him important enough to give him a sword. "I'm a real boy!"

The post-credits scene has an evil voiceover telling Ashley that she has no idea what's coming. Ominous!

ONE DOWN, TWO TO GO. Let's ride this train until the wheels come off!

[mixtapedoh]

Here me out: gunshot, cast bts as movie tropes?

come join my autumn celebration!

ꨄ — gunshot one shot, two shot, three shot, four, 더 견뎌낼 수 없어 나를 위해서라도 너의 gunshot

namjoon as opening a film with a poem (if you know what i mean it makes sense and if you don't it feel self explanatory nonetheless. either narration or text across a screen, if you're opening a film with ~related aesthetic poetry~ those are the vibes. think the opening to wind river. or even just a poetry reading in film in general. that's kim namjoon inspired, bby. if he were to direct a film, he'd start out with a related poem, you cannot convince me otherwise.)

jin as breaking the fourth wall (imo this works better when it's a tv trope and it's paired alongside confessional type humor, or the existence of the camera is baked into the plot so characters know they're being filmed and thus occasionally play to the camera, but i love a silly little self aware moment.)

yoongi as someone playing an instrument matched alongside Intense Plot and Intrigue (you know what i mean!!!!!!!!!!!! when there's something Intense and Plot Heavy happening, and we keep seeing short shots of the High Stakes right alongside a character absolutely pouring their heart and stress into playing the piano or violin (or usually some other string instrument) and the tension crescendos in the most beautiful and delectable batshit insane way, only for our character to abruptly end the song and we hear their laboured breathing and Oh Shit, The Tables Have Turned.)

j-hope as Intentional VHS quality film (sometimes utilized in flashbacks or ~indie films~, you know how sometimes movies will specifically use different quality of film to give something a nostalgic feeling? it doesn't always have to be VHS quality, lol, though i see that one used more, but they specifically go for a more grainy and subdued look for ~vibes~.)

jimin as prophetic dreams (different from a simply psychic character, it's when a character dreams of something vague that actually happens later in the plot and it carries more deja vu vibes than it does "oh, i saw this before and now i am #prepared'. do you get me?)

taehyung as nostalgic memory montage of someone now gone (a classic version is 'dead wife laughing while in bed or at the sea,' lol, but it can literally be anyone either dead or ambiguously gone. bonus points if it's because our main character is visiting home after having left at a young age, or because they're specifically Traveling™)

jungkook as funny one liners (listen,,,,,,,,,,, marvel studios abused this kind of humor, it is true, but occasionally a sarcastic and silly one liner is precisely what the situation calls for. timing is everything, and confidence is the other half of the equation.)

[watching-pictures-move]

Movie Review | Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (Zito, 1984)

Well, Friday the 13th snuck up on me, which is what happens when you don’t pay attention to the calendar. When the day falls outside October, it’s just a nice little treat to put on one of the movies. (Except when it falls in November, when you’re all horrored out.) But when it falls in October, you’re legally obligated to watch one of them. If you don’t, you get thrown in prison. And as the last one I’d watched was the godawful Jason X just a few days ago, I needed to watch one of the good ones and get that taste out of my mouth. I could not let that be the one of those I watched for the occasion. This was an emergency, so I had to take the drastic measure of dusting off my copy of Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter. Just gonna jot down a bunch of stray observations:

I don’t know how convincing the claim that this would end the series was at the time, but one of the ways it tries to play up the significance of the occasion is by opening with a recap montage and then having an explosion during the title card. I like a good recap montage and I like explosions, so I was already having a good time.

Crispin Glover’s dance moves automatically put this near the top of the series. R.I.P. Jimmy “Dead Fuck” Mortimer, who died for our sins.

I realize most of these movies are set during the summer, but they always feel autumnal to me, thanks to the fall clothing. Probably the best marketing LL Bean could have gotten during the decade. See, all the blood washes right off!

I am not sure bald Corey Feldman is as disturbing as the movie posits, but I can respect the iota of ambition without undermining what makes these movies interesting.David Gordon Green should have taken notes when he made Halloween Ends.

I know one of the popular criticism of these movies is that the characters are all cardboard cutouts waiting to get killed off by Jason, but I do like the effort this one puts towards characterization. The performances here are definitely more… “acted” than they were in the first two (where there’s a certain naturalism that alleviates the minimal characterization; they feel like real people, which goes a long way), but even the comic relief characters are handled with a baseline of respect and are professionally performed. And I like the interiority it gives all the characters. The twins could have been a sexy gimmick (and giving them a skinny dipping scene makes good on that level), but I like that it lets both of them feel like distinct individuals and actually acknowledges their hurt feelings. I like that the most promiscuous character isn’t demeaned or caricatured. I like the anticipation of the one girl before she makes love to her boyfriend. I like that the goofballs are shown to have real insecurities which they try to hide with humour. It stings a little more when these characters are killed.

I think at this point the MPAA had started to crack down on the violence in these things, and you definitely notice it in how quickly the kills are cut, despite the extremely gnarly gore effects (Tom Savini returned so he could kill off Jason, and that viciousness shows). But at the same time, I think that’s a bit of an asset. The violence is so sudden, that there’s no way to prepare for it. We are caught off guard like the characters, and the few times it lingers on death feel extra bruising. This definitely feels more polished than the preceding entries (much credit goes to the nicely shadowy cinematography by Joao Fernandes), but it’s the last one that feels punishing in the way first wave slashers and the meaner horror films of the ‘70s achieved handily. The violence has a real weight.

The first one remains my favourite but this one is still right next to it.

[jasonbehrs]

‘why didn’t i say it a million times’ impressions

writing this after finishing the whole series, so i refer to things out of order. spoilers under the cut.

these are not all of my thoughts, just the most overarching ones. if you’re watching and want to dump your play by play reactions on someone who will get it, definitely hit me up! i have plenty of both criticism and appreciation for the show :)

~~~

i started watching for sato takeru (sttkr) and sttkr only. i am so glad netflix doesn’t allow screenshots anymore or else my phone’s memory would be in huge trouble lol he portrayed naoki so CUTELY!

matsuyama kenichi (matsunichi) is another huge fave of mine, and i was wondering why he accepted a non-lead role for this drama. between the two of them (sttkr and matsunichi), he is definitely the better choice for the role considering the possession power. i love sttkr and think he’s talented, but i don’t think he’s better than matsunichi for pulling that off.

that being said, the show runners completely /wasted/ him. he wasn’t possessed nearly often enough to show off his acting acumen, and the detective stuff was very rote and not quite action heavy either. i appreciate what he brought, but i feel bad for him.

that being said (x2), i loved every scene where he and sttkr were partnered. matsunichi moves his face so much, and sttkr seems to forget he has a face to move. the visual dichotomy is so deeply pleasing to me. i need them to act together again, and in something better! (also, i cannot BELIEVE naoki did not hug uozumi in the last episode! where is the gratitude he spoke so much about? lol)

this is my first time watching inoue mao act, and i was not impressed. she is suuuper cute, but i don’t think she had a lot of screen presence. is it the character, or is it her?

speaking of her character, no one can convince me yui is the main character. she may be the female lead and inoue mao may be at the top of the call sheet, but this is a story /about/ naoki. we meet his family, we understand his regrets, we watch the lengths he’s willing to go to and not go to where it concerns the one he loves. yui’s idealism is still storytelling, but the realism in naoki doesn’t just reveal more about his personality, it drives 50% of the emotional plot. (it is worth saying that the other 50% comes from uozumi’s reactions to naoki’s decisions. doesn’t leave a whole lot for yui!!!)

i’ve seen some reviews so far that say the script wasn’t good enough for the superstar leads, and i hard agree. no one said it yet, but i hope no one blames the ensemble cast for it. i loooved all of the secondary characters. song hayoung is my ultimate favourite, the elder uozumi is my second. 🤍🤍🤍 (i love when there’s korean language in my jdramas lol)

i get that the murder mystery plot is necessary with a premise like ‘main character is a ghost but doesn’t know how he died’, but wow i was not invested at all. i could tell eisuke was involved from that very first shot of the grape jellies. i also think his motivation for murder seemed weak? most people break friendships over a misunderstanding like that, they don’t /kill/ the other party omg. the romantic aspect of the show and everyone’s interpersonal relationships were far more compelling. i WOULD watch 50 minutes of unwitting polyamorous negotiations between the dead naoki, the smitten uozumi, and the oblivious yui.

i can’t enjoy episode 10 for what it is. i understand it’s an epilogue/SP of sorts, but the fact that they saved The Reason The Show Is Named What It Is for the final conversation instead of the climax conversation in episode 9 really devalues the watching experience. i disliked 9 while watching, and i disliked it even more once i understood the function of episode 10. honestly, most of 10  could have been a montage, and i’d have derived the same level of satisfaction

the last 40 seconds though, excellent.  when you know he's gone and you're making peace with it at the same time yui is.............................. and then the whistle hits? i gasped. i wished there were no dialogue after that, but it was a good enough feeling that i rated it a 9/10 on mydramalist instead of the 8 i was gonna give it originally lol. ENDINGS MATTER!

speaking of which, i’ve noticed that jdramas lately are trending towards less bitter, more sweet endings. more definitive endings too. a lot of what drew me to jdramas was emotional heaviness, bittersweet quality, and open endings which kdramas and cdramas just weren’t providing me. i suspect that this is an appeal to global audiences, but i hope this is just temporary. i love payoff as much as the next person, but i also love thinking about the story long after it’s over. i’m getting less of that now, and i miss it

if you read to the end, thank you for your time! i hope you have a lovely day :)

[80-ursa-major]

binged midnight monologuesmass.

SPOILERS

went in blind so when SUDDENLY VAMPIRES i was like what the fuck. And then they killed Riley aaaahhh. But I saw he was on the next episode so I kept watching and then he died again. For real this time. noooooooooo! And then I thought I might as well finish it and pre-emptive tl;dr it was laughably bad.

the priest actor people praise? zero charisma, he was like you got an average joe from the streets and told him to recite sermons. and his voice droned and droned omg stop talking! Riley's monologue wasn't good either tbh but his voice (ok fine and his face) was easier on the ears (and eyes) so at least you could watch. But the teacher lady argh her monologues were cringe and then they fucking replayed them so she could have the final montage and I just couldn't do it. She does that thing with her eyes, they're so open and not blinking like she's trying to hypnotize you?? Idk maybe her husband told her it looks good on camera. Btw I was shook when I found out because he didn't add even one chaste kiss with Riley but he had no issue with five uninterrupted minutes of a gross demon sucking her neck. Ooof.

I almost forgot the worst monologue not because of the theme or the actor (at least he put some passion in instead of blahblah) but the TIMING. The doctor tells you, the policeman there's a contagion and idk maybe hopefully you have some ideas to minimize victims? And he's like I'M THE VICTIM! And launches on a long-ass life-story about how he's the best dude but the evil west still hates him cause he's a muslim. Like sir this is a wendy's. The show is reaching its end, the apocalypse is coming, the (non-white?) lady simply came to you because you are the only cop so this is literally your job. So many episodes and you couldn't give this man a proper place to rightly explode about this injustice. Ironically enough mr. flanagan this might be a macro-aggresion pfffft. Oh and his son needed a little more screentime or at least show when he took the eucharist but then again imagine if he had had a monologue too, lord help me! XD

As for the vampire (did he forget he could mimic voices? he was like the only one who should have gotten a monologue but didn't bah) come on now! I know what the bible says about angels. I get that some people had a vested interest in pretending he was helping them but this creature looks like the most generic movie demon. Did the oil spill affect the water and everyone's iq dropped or something? Speaking of iq I love Riley but my boy is pretty dumb too. Like self-immolate in front of everyone to convince them or go to the mainland to convince them to help. Don't fucking traumatise the woman you love who already lost a baby. It's even dumber cause he couldn't stop seeing the dead teen so he should know what it does to a person.

Ending was batshit! Like what was this dude's plan? How would they all immediately control themselves? No wonder everyone just goes crazy and for added dumbassery they burn their homes and then achieve clarity and accept they have to die. Sure sure no one was selfish enough to hide in the shade of the trees or under a blanket. Even Bev (best acting probably) just starts digging lmao. In a way this was a good comedy. I also like the tender love Riley's parents had and his brother escaping with his gf was great. But can they really reach the mainland? And who'll be paying for her therapies? And if the demon had died earlier wouldn't everyone else be cured??? Oh well no one cares.

most ironically enough despite the ten thousand long monologues the best part was just those two lines Riley scribbled and wasn't even there to deliver them himself. DUST!!!

lastly and most importantly fuck you fuck you fuck you for those dead cats. Should have stopped watching right there.

[takeeachdayonebookatatime]

Why did you elbow me? 189

Achilles Castle part 91

Lemonade and lies PART 34

Alexis: pov As we start to get to the end of the photos me and Dave start to decide which photos and videos we want. This montage/video is going to be very emotional which is what we want. Kate startles me by saying do you and Dave want to use the 3d model to have as a display item.

Dave: pov should I even ask what 3D model you are talking about. Kate replies after I was shot, my boyfriend at the time Josh who is a cardiac surgeon and helped save my life before he was replaced by another surgeon gave me this 3D model of the damage to my heart. Which is kind of insane to think about that I got shot. It's getting late me and Alexis are heading upstairs to work on the video.

Castle: pov I turn the baseball game on for Kate and Jim since she wanted to watch it with him, mother is going to read line upstairs in her room. I grab my crutches and head to my office to get some writing done.

Martha: pov It's getting later into the night. I decide to head downstairs for a glass of water as I'm walking past the living room into the kitchen. I notice Katherine has fallen asleep with her head resting on her father Jim who also seems to be asleep. I quietly head into Richard's office because I know he is writing at this hour. I tell him Katherine and Jim are both asleep on the sofa. He suggests we wake them up so they can go to bed.

Castle: pov I grab my crutches and as quietly as possible I head into the living room. I manage to take my phone out and get a cute photo of them both. I very carefully wake up Kate who freaks out and almost hits me. She seems very on edge. Shh Kate it's okay you feel asleep on the sofa next to your dad. Mr Beckett I think you should spend the night, it's kind of late to be driving. I'm glad I convinced Mr Beckett awhile ago to leave some clothes in the guest room just in case he has to spend the night.

Kate: pov it's early in the morning and my Dad just left after breakfast to head back home. I'm about to jump in the shower when I realize my phone is ringing. It takes me a few seconds to realize it's the office for the allergy specialist calling. The receptionist says they had a last minute cancellation, the person canceled last night for today's appointment since their kid is sick. My appointment isn't for a few days but she wants to know if i want this appointment instead of mine and if i can come in around lunch time. I don't have a case, so yes I can make it. The allergy specialist has my medical history. I had my Dr's fax it over to them. It's Lanie or Castle who is going with me to this appointment. Since Castle is free it's him, I jump in the shower and get ready for work.

Castle: pov the drive to the precinct is short. Kate is in her office getting some paperwork done before the appointment. I don't know if the allergy specialist has read Kate's medical records since her appointment got moved up.

Esposito: pov Lanie is busy with a dead body she has to sign the death certificate. Not all of her bodies are murder, she gets anything for natural causes, suicide, murder and illnesses. Since we don't know how long Kate's appointment is, me and Ryan are going to get our own food for lunch.

Kate: pov I'm kind of nervous about this appointment, Castle is trying to keep my mind off of it. The ride to the Dr's office shouldn't take that long. I found a parking spot in front.

Castle: pov I sit down while Kate signs herself in. I pick up a magazine that looks interesting to read. Let's hope it's good.

Kate: pov the woman receptionist named Jane hands me a clipboard to fill out my medical history, I ask If she has an extra sheet so I can write the rest of my medical history because this isn't going to be enough paper. She looks surprised by this. I tell her my medical history is long since I have a heart condition.

Castle: pov Kate fills out the form and hands it to the woman named Jane. It isn't long before Kate's name is called. I walk on my crutches next to Kate towards the exam room. It has a light color on the wall that is actually nice. Kate sits on the exam table, the nurse that showed us to the room takes Kate's vitals and asks what brings us here today. The nurse makes a comment about Kate’s vitals being weird. Kate admits to the woman that her vitals being weird is her new normal, and has been for the last 5 years she has a heart condition. The woman is asking her more info about her heart condition. It's hard for some people to believe that what actually happened to Kate did in fact happen. The nurse says the Dr should be in shortly. I guess I can say Kate left that woman speechless.

Kate: pov the Dr is a young woman named Dr Springfield.

Dr Springfield: pov Captain Beckett is it, she says yes. What is the reason for your visit?

Castle: pov her Dr actually recommended she make an appointment, a while back we were at our beach house and she ate a pineapple ice pop that had real fruit juice in it and broke out into an ugly rash our friend who is a Dr had to give her some benadryl 2 doses in total and an oatmeal bath. Thankfully she didn't need her meds otherwise that would have been a trip to the Er.

Dr Springfield: pov every time you use an Epi-pen you should go to the ER no matter how great you are feeling. Most people's allergies require one so you are not alone in needing one

Castle: pov I never said anything about an Epi-pen.

Dr Springfield: pov oh I assumed since you said she didn't need her meds, that you meant an epi-pen. To be continued. ……….