#when sad seek validation from internet friends no?

[bouquet-0f-clumsy-words]

Thighs thighs thighs

[rockitmans]

Blaine Anderson Vs Valentine's Day

Summary: Blaine drunk posts on his Instagram asking for a date for Valentine's Day. He gets one.

Notes: Written for the @klaineccfanficlibrary Valentine Challenge. I'm gonna write this daily so chapters will probably be short and sweet. Today's song is Lovely Day by Bill Withers.

Warnings: Drunken decision making, unsolicited dick pics

Read on AO3 or below

~~~~~~~~

The Instagram post is obviously a mistake. But in Blaine's defence he was:

very drunk

unwilling to give up a reservation at Di Fara, a booking he'd made nine months previously to guarantee a table for Valentine's Day, and 

clearly losing his mind because of very justifiable reasons and therefore found the whole thing hilarious. At the time. 

It probably would have been fine except Blaine has, at this point, gathered quite a respectable following with his reels of genre bending interpretations of popular songs. There reaches a point where one becomes an actual Influencer and posting dumb shit on the internet stops being a joke between friends and starts being an example of youth culture going off the rails. Or something. He's not even a youth. He's in his late twenties. 

He winces through his hangover as he looks at the post again. He'd gotten Sam, who is an enabler more than anything, to take it. He's shirtless, posing like a total fuck boy with his hair artfully tousled and giving the camera his best sultry expression. An expression that he would never willingly admit to practising in the mirror. It's so cringey he can barely breathe. 

Which is nothing compared to the caption. 

Wanted: Valentine's Day Date

I have reservations for two at Di Fara, but SEBASTIAN decided he was more interested in fucking some guy from the gym than eating the best Italian food in New York. I thought it was weird that he couldn't even pick me up with all the time he was spending at the gym. Your loss SEBASTIAN, I would hate to waste such an amazing dining experience on a rat face LIAR. 

Offering: This hot body. A fully paid meal comprised of aforementioned excellent Italian food. Salvation from a Valentine's Day evening spent Sad and Alone. 

Seeking: A man that is not Sebastian. 

The comment section is flooded of course. There's well over four hundred, a massive number for him, and probably includes some non followers. If he knew it was this easy to manufacture engagement on his posts, he would have done it a long time ago. A quick skim indicates a range of reactions. From sorrow for his break up with Sebastian - who was once a regular on his feed - to hilarity at the nature of the post, to quite sincere sales pitches as to why they should be the one to get the date. 

sebsational94 my name is sebastian but I am not THE sebastian. I would never play you like that boo. can I still qualify? 😇

boooomers Can't believe this is the way we get to see Blaine Anderson shirtless. I am UNWELL

wlfricbea brooo you really be callin out ur man like this omg. rip king seb u will be missed 

cherycool When you say you are offering your hot body, what are we talking here? 👀

tinbd @ cherycool Right? Is Blaine Anderson a Slut? 

sofee.bailey Alexa, play Lovely Day by Bill Withers. Because it's always a lovely day when people take out the TRASH

musicallymotivatedd … still waiting for this cough syrup cover you keep promising ��

Blaine's phone buzzes in his hand and he almost drops it out of pure fear. But it's just a message from Tina laughing at him. And then demanding to know why he didn't just ask her to a fancy dinner. Which is a valid point. Blaine has several single friends he could have a fun evening with. But he was drunk on Peach Schnapps, not making functional decisions. He really is a slutty drunk and he literally never learns.

After a moment to psych himself up, he flips to his DMs, which are much worse. He's not particularly stringent with his privacy settings and his inbox is full of chat requests and a LOT of dick pics. As if he's going to pick a date based on the shape of someone's dick. It's exhausting. 

He taps out a message to Tina. 

Blaine: I've never seen so many dicks in my life

Queen T: Sorry can't relate 

She's useless.

Blaine: This isn't funny. I'm in an ocean of dick

Queen T: A sea of penis. A sea-nis if you will

Blaine: I won't

Queen T: Aw Blainey Days. Are you traumatised? I can come and make you some breakfast 

Blaine: Yes please 🥺

Queen T: OMW

[eileentheraven]

It's weird to use Tumblr again, but sometimes it feels like the last place on the internet. I can scream into the voice without people I know seeing it. I have to write something about these feelings, or I'll continue to be suffocated by them.

But basically, I don't like who I've become. I used to have passion out the azz, and now I crave peace to a stagnant end. I'm just so tired and bogged down by my career and mental health that it's become hard to connect with people or get out of the house. I need to get my masters, so I can move into a different part of my career.

Really, though, it's the significant loss of friendships that keep me up at night. A few years ago, I had a vibrant group, if not groups of friends, and at least three close friends. As I've gotten older and protected my peace, I've pushed out many friendships that no longer serve me. Yet, also, as we've gotten older, my closest friends have grown distant to me. People, person, I've always thought would be my closest friend barely knows who I am anymore. I've tried to keep the illusion of friendship up, but it comes at a cost of my mental health. I feel abandoned, but I know it's not out of spite... or at least I couldn't handle it if it was on purpose. I think the truth is I'm just not as important in their lives as we've grown up and they be found new people. I've heard it's a part of life, but it doesn't stop it from ruining my day when I'm reminded that my best friends are practically gone. Even if they are as close as in my house, I can feel the palpable distance. As if one day soon they'll move, and I'll never hear from them again. Then there are people that were so close to me that we became a ven diagram. But for my own safety and wellbeing, I've had to remove them and seek therapy for the trauma. It doesn't make me miss that connection to someone any less. I just miss having a someone.

I can't help but feel like maybe I've changed to the point that no one likes me, or I've become unlikable. That the reason I feel alone or can't connect and create lasting friendships or keep the ones I want so terribly is my fault. There has to be some flaw in how I talk to people or treat them that has changed over the years to make them steer clear of me. I try to think about that and treat people better... but I can't help but wish that literally anyone would show up for me. Isn't that what everyone wants? Validation that they do matter... but not half-heartedly. Not bc I'm sad, but because they think of me as an intricate part of their own lives. Selfishly, I've always wanted to feel as important to someone as they are to me, and at the heart of all this, I just don't have that anymore, and it kills me more than anything else.

I already didn't have family, my father is dead, and it's been 8yrs since my big brother has talked to me. And while I have the privilege of having the best husband in the entire world, we all need friends.

[jaehyunzeni]

Why you should be cautious of dating men in the 21st century. by Kian Dela Fuente and Kouji Nepomuceno

“Men are trash.”

Nowadays, this quote has become spread all around the world. A big chunk of it regards romantic experiences. Our society has become more open to listening to conversations about individual love lives. With this, the diversity of romance also has expanded. Relationships are now formed not only through face to face meetings, but through other newfound methods like meetups through online platforms. While this poses a positive effect, most women start to worry about the lack of bearable options in the wide sea of guys. A lot of women on social media like Twitter start to rant about traumatizing experiences with the male population. In this blog, the two writers (who may or may not have experience with things like these) will discuss modern men and the most dangerous ones to set up a date with.

1. THE "SADBOYS"

The current generation of men have fallen into this epidemic of self-pity and diminished self-esteem. Though it is important to know that everyone’s feelings are valid, it is a completely different thing to use your so-called feelings to guilt trip and manipulate other people. Their technique to getting their romantic advances accepted are threatening the woman that they would ‘harm themselves’ if she says no. This is not something deserved to be shown off like a medal. More or less, the woman only agreed to start dating out of both fear and guilt and eventually, she will leave. Another point is, if she decides to get up and leave, they will, yet again, pull out the threats. It is surely best to avoid them to avoid falling into the cycle of their manipulation. One of the early signs you are talking to a sad boy is when their way of flirting is asking if you have eaten or, famously in Filipino text culture, “Kumain ka na ba?”

2. “SIGMA MALES”

The next type originated from both film and gym communities on the internet. These kind of men are advocates of traditional gender views like how women should stay at home and men should appear emotionless. Sigma males see women as mere possessions no one must steal. In spite of their subtle hate for everything feminine, sigma males still part interest in finding their ‘woman.’ They search for wives they can control and make stay put at home. Do not be tricked by the first time boasting of wealth, strength sigma males offer.

3. “THE PARINIG” OR INDIRECT GUYS

This type of man will make your blood boil. Literally. The term “parinig” can be explained as “attention seeker,” and you know how annoying attention seekers can be. Such a pain, isn’t it? Moreover, parinig men in general will only make subtle (subtly obvious) hints, but will not make the first move. It comes to the point where they just keep seeking your attention and the woman just does not know what to do with them. The best thing to do is avoid them.

4. BASKETBALL PLAYERS or “THE PLAYERS”

One can find themselves wanting to advance their relationship if the guy they are seeing is their type, especially when it is a conventionally attractive basketball player. The next stage of your relationship might never arrive if you're dating a player, though. Players frequently keep their locations private, constantly text others, and dismiss the idea of introducing you to friends and family in order to maintain your connection on a surface-level. It is critical to break up with the player you are with if you want to find someone who is interested in a long-term, serious relationship.

5. THE GUYS WHO PUT IN NO EFFORT

By any means, the guy should not be the only one making an effort when it comes to dating. This is one you should avoid, though, if you are the only one who constantly contacts him, sets the dates, and does everything to maintain your connection. Relationships are not one-sided. To spend time together and get to know each other, both you and the guy you are dating must put in the effort. The dynamic is unhealthy and toxic if you are doing all the giving and receiving nothing in return. It is clearly time to go on with somebody else if a guy looks uninterested in hanging out with you. 

6. “NONCHALANT” MEN

It might be difficult to date a man who is emotionally distant and cut off. He might never be vulnerable around you, never discuss what's on his mind, and be hesitant to open up to you. You should steer clear of emotionally distant men if you desire a relationship that is meaningful. For example, if he keeps you at a distance and never lowers his guard around you, your relationship will not be able to develop since you will not get to know the real him. Think about your future.

7. THE CONTROLLERS

Has the man you are seeing ever instructed you who and with whom you can have conversations with? What about what you should wear outside? If yes, it is time to question whether you have a boyfriend or a second father. Controlling guys are those who want to dominate and intimidate you. They frequently harbor suspicions about your small interactions with other people and are envious of them. To add, they also keep an eye on you constantly. It is not healthy to let your partner bully or control you, as this is abusive behavior. You are a unique individual, and only you have the authority to determine what you can and cannot do. 

8. THE SELFISH ONES

Does the man you are dating seem to solely think of himself? It is time to come to your senses and realize you are dating a man with a big, big ego. He will prioritize his wants before yours, show little interest in you and your interests, and will think that he is “the best guy ever.” You should stop dating a man with an ego like this. Do not be manipulated by his attempts to convince you that he has authority on everything. Although confidence is attractive, being with someone who has an exaggerated sense of self and who is unconcerned with your wants and desires is another thing.

9. THE HUGE LIARS

Lastly, dating someone you cannot rely on and is not honest or upfront is emotionally taxing. When the man is a liar, he will frequently make commitments he cannot keep, invent untrue tales, and keep you in the dark about his genuine nature. Given that trust is the basis of every successful relationship, it is an instant red flag when a guy openly deceives you. You need to be able to depend on him as your partner for your relationship to develop. Do not entertain someone who has a history of lying and making things up. Break it up! Manipulators do not deserve the satisfaction of succeeding in their devious advances.

The list still goes on, only further proving the point that the men of this generation are, in internet slang terms, “a different breed.” On the surface, dating seems to be an unserious topic to many. However, conversations with regards to it must not be shunned as it is relevant to the modern day. It is best to be safe in all aspects, even regarding one’s dating life. This blog was made not to put men down and discourage people from dating them, but to raise awareness that love is not always like the idealistic ones in novels. Every person with preference to men should know of the traits they should beware of to avoid facing the consequences in the long run just for short-time happiness.

[goremet-chef]

i think like. posting art on twitter has given me a specific complex or like. thought process that doesnt apply here and im trying to get used to it (ramble/vent-ish)

i only ever seem to find the motivation to draw like. at night. MOST OF THE TIME im drawing at night, ill finish shit at 1, 2, 3 am but i have to gamble with something

i prefer to post when im done, it feels good to create something and then send it off for anyone to see, but if you dont post it at like. day time, or a time where more people are awake, no ones gonna see it!!! not even yr most active supportive moots and friends like they just will not see it and it wont get much interaction. i feel like prime interaction hours are when its posted and then after that it trails off and everyones done. and it feels kind of sad when you worked really hard on a piece and it looks like no one liked it

but here, its not like that. shit gets likes for like. ever SKJFS

there is no time frame for when people will appreciate yr work, theres not really a feeling of risk when i post at night because eventually someone will see it yknow? someone whos looking for it will see it and i like that a lot

i really sympathize with other artists who feel like that because like. art is my passion, i know this is the truth but i feel soo fucking superficial and gross thinking about like. the numbers of it all

but its not really wrong to want people to like what you make. i think everyone needs to feel appreciated, and some people only know how to get it from strangers online. i see a lot of people say like "ohh if yr an artist and you hate drawing or you only think about how many likes or you think you need to create content for others to like maybe reevaluate why yr an artist 🤨" but like. SOME PEOPLE CANT REALLY CHOOSE SKJFS i couldnt just stop drawing even though sometimes it makes me miserable, because drawing is my only talent, yknow? its wired into my DNA at this point. its a lot deeper than just "oh if its making you feel bad then stop" 💀💀 if i stopped id feel even worse bestie

idk i think its something that most people think about honestly? its like a majority case but its been pushed into being something that makes you a bad person, despite the fact that everyone loves validation on the internet. if you actively seek it, yr shallow and just want attention and that makes you one of the 'bad artists' because you want recognition for yr work

idk its just kinda messed up. like everyone wants those things, if im creating i shouldnt feel guilty for liking when the numbers go up, yknow? but its something i see so much? its so weird bro. its one of those things i believe LOTS of people experience/feel, but are too ashamed to ever let anyone know they feel it, even if its not really harmful

like i agree with the sentiment that "you should draw for you" 100% but some people arent really. SECURE about their art, style or composition or WHATEVER. i dont need me to tell me i did a good job, id prefer someone else do it ksjfsf that can be said for a lot of other people too. like not everyone needs that, but some people do need that and its not some heinous art crime for wanting even a little recognition? IDK MAN its weird

[mountainofdictamnus]

2 April: When were you diagnosed and when did you know that you're autistic? If you're self-diagnosed, when did you first suspect that you're autistic and when were you sure?

I started considering it around one year ago. Before that I thought that autism is something very obvious from childhood. Whenever I felt that I relate to autistic people, I dismissed it, and felt ashamed thinking that these people have an actually hard time, not like me... But I have alexithymia too, so these feelings weren't even obvious.

I was really freaked out by the sheer vastness of the internet before, and most of the social media overwhelmed me. I didn't really have any serious connection with people outside my small social group (my family and my best friend who is autistic too). But last year I got into a really small fandom, and most of the more active people wrote in their bio that they are autistic. And coincidentally I found out about a video creator and a musician I really like are autistic too. I started to think that it's a more common thing than I thought, and then I found a post about how autism is often confused with well-behaving in girls. That was my last counterargument (I was always such a perfect little sad child).

I spent weeks with reading articles, watching videos and searching blogs, and there wasn't a single thing that contradicted my experiences. I wrote thirty pages about why I think that I'm autistic and how it explains all my life. I showed it to a psychologist who I visited earlier, and she said that it's pretty obvious now that she sees it.

It was enough validation for me, I don't think I will seek an official diagnosis. I'm pretty sure that it would only cause me disadvantages in my country, and I probably will be able to keep a job when the time comes.

[graveyardpiss]

Ooooo sure

• i was born in 1998. My mom was a goth when she was my age. Growing up she was the one who introduced me to the music. It happened slowly over the years from middleschool-highschool. Around the house she'd play depeche mode, joy division, the cure, Siouxsie and the banshees. She was pretty supportive of me burning playlists on cds and taking me to thrift stores and teaching me diys. I had severe depression and was a sad teenage hopeless romantic, there was alot in the song i connected with. As i discovered more about the subculture i realized how much there was that i really related and connected with. I was the only goth in a very small friend group of emos and metalheads so that influenced more of my other music tastes and styles too. In my earlier years i had a more grunge meets punk meets emo look. Within recent years my fashion style varies from what albums or genres of music i listen to for example if i was really into industrial i'd dress more like a school shooter then a few months later id be listening to sisters of mercy or london after midnight and totally go all trad or deathrock. What i listen to typically affects how i dress for that day or week. I like having a versatile wardrobe and i think thats one of many parts i like about goth being a music based subculture. There so much creativity and expression and i just think thats neat.

• my core values have always been individually and self-authenticity, be honest with yourself and be unapologetic. I live by a diy code of ethics (anti-capitalism, anti consumerism) but to be honest i never questioned myself until these past few years (with the rise of tiktok and goth becoming mainstream) i never had internet growing up and i didnt have access to social media or my own devices (no phone/ipad/tv/computer until about 17) and i was never influenced before in a way that being online does to you. Growing up the only person i looked up to was my mom but now i struggle with insecurity, 'do i look like these other goth girls, do i look cool enough, am i goth enough?' I have to catch myself every now and then from falling into this mentally of 'i need to be just like these goth influencers who are living the gothic dream' and its really sad but also interesting goths who grew up without the influence of Internet have different mindsets and values than online goths(and elder goths vs baby goths) i sympathize with the newer generation of goths because Internet is really shit for mental health. And this mindset can be so toxic for a community that was once united by music now we've become so divided.

• i think all the problems we have now in the scene are stemmed from the Internet. insecurities and competition to be the gothiest , and theres this girl on girl hate that comes from pick me girl behavior and internalized sexism. Girls that seek male validation from guys who fetishize us. Kids arent learning instead they are watching and assuming, being told what to think and feel instead of thinking and feeling. I wish there was an answer to this but ?

Thats all i got, its late & i gtg!

Interview Date: [7/6/2024] Community: [Goth/Gothic]

Can you tell me about your personal journey into the goth culture, including what first attracted you to it and how you've developed your style and creative interests within the aesthetic?

How do you interpret the core values and ideals of the goth community, and how do they shape your interactions and experiences with other members of the community?

What challenges or misconceptions do you think society, or people outside the goth community, have about the subculture, and how do you address or navigate them?

Rules:

Be Honest

Be Non-Violent/Harassive/Mean

Be Straight-Foward

Reblog or Comment your answer.

[zigsexual]

some of you guys live deeply unfulfilling lives and it shows huh

[satanfemme]

happy DID awareness day! (March 5th)

I can’t find any good posts to reblog about it, so I’ve decided to just make my own. here’s some things I wish people (read: singlets) were more aware about:

DID is more than just having fictives.

DID is more than just having alters in general.

DID is a trauma disorder and goes hand in hand with PTSD, occasionally being described as a more severe/specific type of PTSD.

DID can either be visible or covert depending on the person, the situation, where you’re at in life, etc.

a person with DID can often choose to some degree whether to be visible or covert with their disorder, and that decision is entirely theirs to make and/or later change.

there is no possible way for you to spot when someone is “faking” DID. correct misinformation when applicable, but never call out a system for “faking”.

-

some people choose to see their alters as completely separate from themself. some people choose not to differentiate their alters from themself at all. in my experience, most people fall somewhere in the middle of this spectrum.

medically speaking, alters are not completely separate from the host of the system, but are different “self states”. what makes alters distinct from each other is the amnesia (of multiple kinds) between us. this amnesia gives us all different worldviews/identities/memories/symptoms, and therefor for all intents and purposes makes us different people, but in the end we are all still parts of one complete whole.

frequently, alters will even blend/blur into each other, sometimes to the extent that the two (or more!) blended alters are completely indistinguishable from each other. side note: this is usually a very uncomfortable experience.

medically speaking, DID is not a spiritual phenomenon. if a system/alter chooses to relate their own DID to spiritual beliefs, that’s completely valid and understandable, but it’s important for singlets (people who aren’t systems) to be aware that alters are dissociated parts of one whole. so on one hand please don’t refute a system/alter’s personal beliefs or write off their beliefs as “ridiculous”, but also don’t ascribe someone else’s trauma symptoms to reincarnation, spirits, possession, some “mental link” between souls, a connection to other universes, etc, without having their permission to do so. this is true in the case of fictives as well.

-

the host of a system is an alter too. all identity labels, symptoms, or traits that any other alter could potentially have, could also all apply to the host as well. additionally, the host is not more inherently “real” than the other alters, nor does the host “own” the other alters in any way.

any alter can be the host, and who the host is usually changes multiple times throughout a system’s lifetime.

if the host changes, if an alter goes dormant, if two (or more) alters integrate, or if any other major changes happen to the structure of a system, you (as a singlet/friend of the system) have not “lost” anybody. alters can not die or disappear completely, only change form. it’s valid to feel sad if you can’t speak to a specific alter anymore, but please remember that we’re all parts of one whole, so you’re never really losing anybody. you’re just seeing different sides of the same system. an event like a host change isn’t scary, tragic, nor the host’s life getting “stolen” from them, it’s just the way we function as systems.

-

DID is one of the most stigmatized mental illnesses in the media. “alter egos”, “multiple/split personalities”, and the like, are all incredibly common tropes and yet there’s literally no mainstream portrayal of DID that’s been agreed upon as especially “good”, with many/most portrayals being actively harmful. please keep this ableism in mind when discussing tropes like the ones listed above, and never refer to a real life person by one of those tropes.

DID is still very under-researched and not well understood by professionals.

DID, despite occurring in 1%-3% of the population (by current estimates, but potentially even more frequently), is often dismissed even by medical professionals as being purely fictional. this hurts people with DID when they seek out help and makes diagnosis/treatment hard to come by.

(so, like with all disorders, DID self diagnosis is valid.)

-

just be kind to systems, please. people with DID have to put up with a lot of bullshit, and the internet is one of the few (if not only) spaces we can comfortably be ourselves!

thanks for reading. I’m sending out love to fellow systems today <3 hope you’re all having a good one

[januarymoreau]

alright so I know literally no one cares about this but it’s my social media I’m doing what I want /lh

I’ve been seeing a lot of slander about justin russo on the internet lately and I’m currently hyperfixated on wizards of waverly place so here’s why justin is an awesome character/doesn’t deserve the hate he gets

He’s kind and treats those he loves well. Justin is canonically really good at comforting people. Although he argues with Alex a lot, at the end of the day, he’s also her older brother and genuinely cares about her. When Professor Crumbs threatens to take Alex’s magic away because she doesn’t turn her report card in, Justin says that Crumbs will also have to take his magic away. Justin is ultimately selfless. We see again and again the sacrifices he makes for Alex and I think we mainly see his kindness in that relationship. Despite that, I think he’s also notably kind to Juliet. When he finds out that he made the mistake of reporting Juliet and her parents, he instantly tries to fix it. Not only does he try to fix it, but he puts his job as Monster Hunter in jeopardy for Juliet and her parents - her parents haven’t even been that nice to him. Justin is ultimately selfless and at the end of the day, he sacrifices himself or what he wants for others. When Rosie turns back into a good angel, instead of selfishly continuing to date her and keeping her in the mortal world (which he could have done - she literally offers to stay with him), he gives her up because he realizes the world needs a guardian angel more than he needs a girlfriend. Even though it hurts because he loved her, he gives her up. There’s no “award” for doing this - he won’t move up a level in the wizard competition, he really won’t get any recognition for giving Rosie up. He doesn’t even get any recognition for turning the moral compass back to good. He does it because it’s the right thing to do. Although later I’ll argue that Justin is constantly seeking validation, I also think that the heroic/good things he does are often done with no expectation of being praised for it. He does them because he has a strong sense of morals. He’s also kind to Harper, Zeke, his parents, and even Max, who people rarely ever show kindness to in the show.

He’s in touch with his emotions. When the show starts, Justin is very against anything that will show him as feminine or emotional. In fact, he even says he’s allergic to emotions (or something like that) to cover for the fact that he’s crying over his missing dog. As the show goes on, we see Justin start to embrace and accept his emotions more and to lose touch with his toxic masculinity. I think dating Juliet changed him in a lot of ways (making him more relaxed, etc), and I think one was encouraging him to be more emotional. After Wizards vs. Vampires, Justin is pretty emotional and open about his emotions in the show. He’s even open with talking about them. In the movie, he opens up to Alex about how he feels like Jerry & Theresa wouldn’t love him as much if he were less “perfect,” which brings me to my next point.

At the end of the day, Justin is a sad character. I know it’s a kid’s show but they really do cover a lot of issues so bear w me. I’m hyperfixated and I like to over analyze shows so I’ve thought about this a lot. Justin is the oldest, which means he already deals with pressure to be perfect. Then, add in the fact that his parents are constantly describing him as the “perfect child” and putting him on a pedestal, while pitting the kids against each other as a result of the wizard culture bc of the family competition (I love Jerry & Theresa but they’re not perfect). He’s also a high achiever and we know he puts extreme pressure on himself to do well - they always make a joke about it but it’s actually quite sad. He literally feels poorly about himself when he gets a B and bases his entire self worth on his grades and skills as a wizard. In fact, in the movie he voices doubt about whether or not he’s good at anything other than magic. I have a few things I want to say about all of this. First of all, I think Justin is constantly seeking validation. I think as the oldest and “best” child, he feels the need to be perfect all the time, but he also does many of the things he does because he just wants validation. When Harper decides to run a marathon, Justin does too, and sadly his accomplishment of finishing it is overshadowed by Harper “winning.” I also think Justin feels threatened by the success of others because he thinks it invalidates his. When he opens up to Alex in the movie, he says that he’s jealous of her because it seems like everything comes naturally to her. Justin feels as if his parents loving his siblings takes away from their love from his. It’s irrational, but very real. Which brings me to my next point - Justin has generalized anxiety disorder. It makes sense - the overthinking, the outbursts he has (Alex refers to it as a conniption once) of panic or frustration, the overachieving, etc. As someone who probably has autism, I also think he’s autistic (which would explain his troubles with tone, struggle making friends, obsessions with things like Captain Jim Bob Sherwood and science, being better w robots than people, and so much more).

Ultimately, Justin has a strong moral backbone. Although he’s a stickler for the rules and this oftentimes leads him to do bad things initially, he always does the right thing in the end. For example, when Justin and Alex go to court and Justin duplicates himself to be his lawyer, his lawyer ultimately proves that Justin is guilty; he even says something along the lines of “We’re Justin Russo. We always do what’s moral and just.” Justin has a strong sense of justice (which could also be from being autistic but I could do a whole other post about neurodivergency coding in WOWP and Disney & Nick shows overall bc there’s a ton of coding) and does what he thinks is right, most of the time. Sure, sometimes he does bad things, but he’s also a teenager at the end of the day and he’s highly competitive.

Finally, Justin Russo is super progressive - in fact, he’s probably the most progressive characters of the show. He acknowledges climate change and actively tries to create a solution for it. In fact, for his science fair project he makes a water powered engine, which would reduce carbon emissions. He also wears a shirt at one point that says “Make art not war.” I will admit that his biases against the werewolf he dated were problematic, but he clearly grew from that because he never held any of that against Mason. He’s also into science and is a nerd and although this is a stereotype, most young people who are into science and are nerds are progressive. I’m pretty sure he also is well aware of current events and would probably read the newspaper. Also I myself headcanon Justin as trans and bi (again could make another post about characters in wowp that are queer)

Little note even tho probably no one will see this - this is all just for fun. If you disagree with anything I said, just say it politely hahsh. Also please don’t make fun of me for this WOWP is a huge hyperfixation and comfort thing for me rn and I just wanted to make a silly little post where I analyze one of my comfort characters. Also I kin Justin so pls don’t like hate on him in the comments.

[succession-thoughts]

I don't like the person I'm being here. It was only a few hours ago but I'm already like "yeah, I regret that post." That's growth, right? Not gonna delete it because that's not owning my mistakes. Do I think that writer is being annoying? Yeah, I do, and I think it's odd that someone went out of their way to publish something that amounts to a tweet that says "I personally don't really get the hype about Succession and couldnt really get into it" just to try to yuck other people's yum. That doesn't make sense to me. I think I probably wouldn't be friends with that person. If you've followed me you probably know I obviously think there's so, so much more to the show than her description of it. But that's the thing. Succession is really important to me. It's fine, and good, even, that it's important to me. But that passion doesn't always lead to good things. I felt personally offended by this article, like this person was judging my whole existence. Like she (this person who I do not know at all whatsoever) was saying I wasn't allowed to like the things that I liked. All of a sudden this writer was my mom, telling me that people who watched that show or liked that music were stupid and I had to agree with her or else I was stupid and I learned that not only was I not allowed to express my thoughts and feelings, but I wasnt able to even listen or acknowledge my own thoughts or feelings inside of myself, or risk ridicule. My mom was the center of my entire universe, she was abusive, she knew to some extent what she was doing, I could not escape her, and in that case she really WAS judging my entire existence. But that's not happening anymore, I don't have to listen to her anymore. I would assume that to some extent this person wrote that article in an effort to judge others and to make people feel a bit bad about themselves. I think to a degree she knew that some unstable people (like myself) would overreact to it and she could point at them and judge them. I think that's shitty, but it has no bearing on me or my right to exist or think what I think. I'm not saying that in a pseudo-empowering, "fuck the haters" kind of way, I mean I need to work on my instinct to see someone say something that has no actual impact on my life, crop a photo of it, and say "look at this idiot" and share it with other people so I could feel validated and they could spur me on in a way that only social media can. Obviously, if you're one of the three people who liked the post, I am not judging you, I'M THE ONE WHO POSTED IT. One of the things that gave me pause in the first place was me wishing that more people would like and share the post, and I had to ask myself "where is this coming from, really?". And again, I still think the article is annoying, and I think that annoyance is valid. It really does make me sad that there are people like my mother and to a much, much, MUCH lesser extent this writer who like to shit on things that they know other people enjoy. But this writer wasn't INSISTING I agree with her despite her condescending ass tone. If I ever dared to disagree with my mother (yes, even about something as small and insignificant as a TV show), my entire sense of self and worthiness of respect would be called into question. Living like that for so many years is bound to make me a little jumpy whenever I feel like my access to basic respect is being threatened, and I do deserve compassion for that. But I have GOT to reign it in. I gotta be able to be secure enough to see that and move on. I don't want to turn into my mother. I don't want to be so insecure that I turn to echo chambers, and when I can't find one "perfect" enough, I give birth to people and create my own. Look, it's hard out here, it's understandable to seek refuge in the internet, to create a kind of community based around art that fills you up. But there's a line, and for me, I crossed it. It's a short walk from here to at-ting the writer on Twitter and sending anon hate, armed with fear and self-rightousness and forgetting to touch grass. I'll try to be better.

Someone got paid to write this. Let me repeat. A person got paid real-life money to write an article about a TV show they haven't watched. I'm speechless.

[folerdetdufoler]

I don't have any friends who watched skam or fandom friends, so I don't have anyone I know to talk about this. Sorry I'm dumping this on you! But I think you're really smart, and feel you might have some insight. Do you ever feel that watching skam in real time screwed with the way you relate to the internet and screens? I guess some people who got into it maybe were already on tumblr a lot, but I wasn't and I got OBSESSED and think it really messed up with my attention spam and boundaries -

- with my phone. I was on a really bad place when I started watching skam and used it as a way of coping with life, and I'm only now (I know, like 4 years later) realizing the affect it had on my habits. It depresses me a little bit I don't know why I'm telling you this, I guess I'd like to hear your opinion? If you have one? Or your experience? If you don't feel like answering, please don't. I really like your internet presence!

oh man, i had to think about this for a while. on one hand, i think it really depends on where you are mentally and emotionally for a show/piece of media to have that kind of effect, and on the other, an effective, immersive experience will reshape your relationships like that. i definitely was in a very low place when i found skam. i was five months away from burning out hard and quitting my career & IRL social circles when i found skam, so i was definitely desperate for some kind of escape. skam fit that need really well by being something that felt real that i could chase every single day. i used to do social media for my career, so i already had a horribly unhealthy relationship with tumblr & twitter. i was constantly scrolling and posting on work accounts at any time of day or night. i used to brush it off as like, ~i’m a human, my campaign strategy is not having a strategy!!!~ except what it really was was not having boundaries. so i had wired my brain to always be refreshing for updates anyway, to interact in real time, and skam provided a hit of something (that wasn’t tied to my work performance) every day. i was the perfect target for it.

and it is depressing. back then it just felt like this beautiful reality that i could escape to every day. even if the show wasn’t airing, i could still log on (akfjksjf as if i ever logged off) to see internet friends and talk about that beautiful, shared reality that was so far from my own. fandom was like, the same exact thing that i was doing for work, so it still felt good to be exercising those skills, but i didn’t have the pressure to perform. i got validation, though (and i still do), for participating in the show, and i’ve convinced myself of its pure goodness, of its virtue, because i’m not doing this for money. i…validated my own coping mechanism, my escape, as one does when they really need it. so i am sad that i still need skam and that i’m aware of my dependency on it and that i’m twisting my dependency into an identity that justifies it.

since it’s been so long since i started my obsession my perspective on my relationship with it has probably colored or faded over the years. but i think something similar happened with me and tiktok. i really got into it mid-2019, and the (my) skam fandom was definitely fading then. so tiktok was filling the growing content hole for me, letting me scroll for hours and finding new people now that my tumblr & twitter feeds were slowing down and veering off to different interests. whereas i went deep with skam, i was now going wide with tiktok. but both ways were an intensity that just devoured my days and flooded my brain. they let me stop thinking about me because i could always think about something else, seek out or wait for something else, the next hit. my phone can always provide that relief.

so i guess…i always want to give skam the credit it deserves for being a great show, and that is beyond my personal obsession with it. if i had discovered it later than when i did, i think i still would’ve gotten into it, because it’s an Objectively Good Thing. but that means i would’ve found something else back in 2016 and thrown myself at it, because i was desperate for the distraction and my boundaries were nonexistent. so like, skam didn’t cause these problems for me because it’s skam; i let skam cause these problems for me because i needed it to. and over the years i’ve convinced myself that they aren’t problems because in the moment i feel good. i feel like i’m learning and creating and contributing by leaning into this obsession; i’m chasing something, not escaping.

ugh i feel like i lost the original plot of your ask. i’m sorry if this made you feel worse for any reason. if i stop to think about what i’m still doing here, why i went so hard for skam years ago, then yeah, it’s depressing. i don’t want to talk about why i preferred living a norwegian teenager’s life every day instead of my own. but at the same time i could point a finger and land on three other people who can’t take a shit on the toilet without being able to scroll through their fyp for twenty minutes. this is just how we live now. it’s how we cope.

[sugarmaplewings-fics]

Midoriya Comfort HCs

Pairing: Midoriya (Deku) x reader

Warnings: Mentions/the concept/symptoms of depression, otherwise none

Request: Hi, sugar! i just wanted to tell you how much i adore your fics. everything about them is truly outstanding, from your choice of words to the ideas you come up with. might i add, your ability to write the characters so well and immerse someone in the story are amazing and i hope that you’re very proud of what you’ve brought to the fandom! you’re one of my favourite writers on here! would it be possible for you to write comfort hcs for izuku w/ a reader who’s a victim of depression, or even if you aren’t comfortable with that, just for bad days? i’ve been feeling a lot worse than usual and it’s all crumbled for me, so i’m just seeking comfort from my best boy. - anon neo 

A/N: I’m sobbing??? I’m one of your favorites??! This is literally some of the nicest stuff anyone has ever said to me?? Thankyouthankyouthankyou!!! I’m so glad people actually like this stuff I make! 

And I’m always chill with doing anxious or depressed reader, since it’s something I (sadly) relate to myself and therefore feel pretty comfortable portraying it the best I can. I tried to get these out and done as fast as I could, but I hope you’re feeling better! 

I promise you, you can get through this. I believe in you. If you ever need to chat, I'm always open (this goes for everyone). I really enjoyed writing these and loved your request. No worries, I got you!

Anyway, I hope you and everyone else likes them (as always)! Thanks again so much for your kind words, they really keep me going <3

Love you!

-Sugar

═══*.·:·.✧    ✦    ✧.·:·.*═══

Ever since you started dating, Izuku pays a lot of attention to you and how you’re feeling, whether he’s subtle about it or not

So when you start spiraling into a bad place, he’ll notice pretty quickly

He’ll immediately ask you what’s wrong, remembering and still regretting the choices he’d made when he knew something was up with Iida

He’s a little sad when you explain you have depression, but he won’t be swayed. Far from it. This boy is determined to be the best boyfriend he can be for you, no matter what!

He’ll do some research before making too many moves. The idea of the big sad isn’t completely foreign to him, but he wants to make sure he’s doing everything right

Izuku would go over all the little notes he’d taken on you, making a habit of jotting down anything you like

Once he’s made a bit of a plan for himself and gathered everything up, you can expect a Deku-bomb of everything you like and it’s all just for you!

You like food? He’ll buy you your favorites and treat you with them when he storms your room. Into more outdoorsy or sporty activities? He’ll gently ask you if you’re up for getting outside and doing them. He’ll even invite your friends! You like books? He’ll pick up that novel you’ve been eyeing since it came out. The list goes on. He’d do anything to bring a smile to your face

So anyway, as I said, he’d storm your room with everything he could find that he thought might help, ready to dedicate the entire afternoon and evening to you

He’d ask if there was anything you needed to talk about. He’s really good at listening if you decide there is something you need to rant about. He’s not too bad with advice either!

If you decide not to talk about it, or maybe there’s nothing to talk about and you just feel a little blah, he’ll take out whatever lil’ something he got you

At this point, he’d do whatever you want to do, whether it’s playing a video game or going out for a walk or watching your favorite movie

And whenever you want, Izuku is always down to cuddle (hehehe my favorite part!)

He’ll scour both his and your rooms to find every blanket he can, coming back to wrap you up into a little fuzzy burrito

He’ll pull you into bed and spoon you, but not before pressing kisses over every available surface of your face and the top of your head

He’ll hug you into him from behind, draping a leg over you and resting his head above yours. This is also a good time to do any kind of ranting or talking, and if you ever feel the need to cry, you’re more than able to!

If you cry tho, Izuku might cry too. He’s very in touch with his emotions and seeing you cry will never fail to make him tear up too. That’s just the kind of person he is

He’ll remind you of how much he loves you and murmurs words of support and encouragement in your ear. There is hope for the future, and things won’t always be like this. He’s not afraid to start listing everything he loves about you, and trust me when I say this, he could go on and on. He has notes. He thinks about this every day

Whenever you get too hot in your burrito blanket, you can always climb out. But now this means that all your kissable surfaces are exposed!

If all his efforts to make you smile before had failed, this is the last straw. 

He’ll start a tickle war, pulling you back in to kiss you anywhere he can reach; your cheeks, your neck, your belly. There’s nothing suggestive behind it, he just wants you to know how loved you are by him

Once you’re done, he’ll let you nuzzle back into him for some much needed sleep. He’s spending the night with you, and there really isn’t much you can do about that

Even after your evening together is over, he won’t stop checking in on you to make sure you’re okay. He’ll do cuddle sessions, movie nights, walks in the park, anything, any time, as long as he knows he’s making a difference in making you feel better, even if it’s just a little

He’ll check in to make sure you’re taking care of yourself. You best be sure you’re eating your meals and drinking plenty of water. He’ll even bring you some if you’re not up for leaving your room

Guilty of never getting enough sleep? He’ll poke his head in to see if you’re still awake, and if you are, he’ll gladly tug you into bed and hold you until you’ve slipped off to the feeling of his hands running through your hair

Get too much sleep? He’ll make sure to invite you to things he’s doing to get you out of the house, or even take you on dates with just the two of you to keep you active and occupied

I know that I’m guilty of not showering when I hit a slump, so he’ll make sure to remind you to do that (if ya need it. no shame). He’d even make sure you were changing out and washing your clothes and sheets, happy to help you if you’re not up for it

If you need help picking up your room or washing dishes and the like, he’s prepped to help you there too. Better make sure you’re changing your clothes too, now. AT LEAST HAVE DAY PAJAMAS AND NIGHT PAJAMAS I--

My depression tends to come in waves (or as I like to call them; Sad Bitch Hours™), so if that’s the case for you, he’ll help you until you feel better and a little more like yourself again 

Izuku will never leave your side no matter what because that’s just how much he loves you. He has faith in you that you are strong enough to fight the issues and the hurt and the pain plaguing you, and by all means he will support you until the worst is over

A/N: Every time I write one of these, I feel like I’m doing one of those “If You Give A Mouse A Cookie--” books, except this one is more like “If (Y/N) Has Depression--”

Again, I truly hope that this can be some help for people who are struggling. I know that I am little more than an internet hermit, literally writing this in the darkness of my bedroom at 2 AM, but if I can bring even a touch of happiness, then my purpose will be fulfilled. I believe wholeheartedly that you can get through whatever may be going on in your life. In these past few years, I've been through a lot myself, but with a determined mindset and some professional help, I can say that I am doing so much better than I was.

Remember that you can't compare your progress to others. Healing takes time and patience and love, and simply remembering to be kind to yourself is the first step to steady recovery. I want you to know that I believe in you and that you matter. You matter so so so much. Every day, you change the world. There are people who love you (if you can't think of anyone, I'm here! Izuku loves you too, along with any other F/Os you may hold). I don't want to get too into this, but just remember that my inbox and DMs are always open. I'm not going to claim to be some sort of licensed therapist or mental health prodigy, but I'm a good listener and sometimes might offer decent advice. If you ever need a friend, I will be here to talk or rant to, and it would make me happy to see if someone reached out. You're not a burden, and your feelings are real and deserve to be confronted. No matter where you are in your journey, you're valid.

Sorry if this was a bit long, but I just wanted to say that you're important and people do care about you.

I wish you well and beautiful mornings,

-Sugar

Taglist: @basicaegyo​ @iiminibattlehero​ @pyrofanatic​​ @sokkasangel​ @xoxopam4​​

[sta-bright]

My First Tumble

Hi Tumblr,

I was inspired to get a Tumblr account, believe it or not, from Netflix's 2021 four-part docu-series "Crime Scene: The Vanishing at the Cecil Hotel." Although I highly doubt anyone cares enough to read any of my posts or has the attention span to read anything longer than a few sentences written by a 23 year old with her boobs out, *just in case,* SPOILER ALERT.

The (main) topic of the show focuses around Elisa Lam, who vanished in early 2013 when she was staying at the Cecil Hotel and was then found dead in one of the four water tanks on the roof 19 days after being reported missing (I think I have that correct but don't hold me to it, imaginary readers. It was something like that.).

Anyway, "...to make a long story short"... "too late" #cluereference, Elisa had a Tumblr blog. It seemed to be a good setup for how she was writing very personally, which is what I want to do, so here we go. I have a blog page for the business I own, but to be honest, it's geared more toward, well, business, so I don't feel like I can write freely, or only like the "good" or "normal" part of myself, the good stuff geared at an audience without scaring people away or whatever. So for this one, I don't really care as much about proper grammar or spelling, just somewhere to write my real thoughts if and when I can focus enough to sort them out enough to put them down. I have a bunch of journals, but they are all over the place and I can't write fast enough, so I'm going to try this out. I have a lot to say, and I think even just putting it out there even though I know no one cares might help me feel a little bit of relief, even if anyone does read it and might think I'm an idiot or whatever.

I wasn't sure what to name my blog, and I'm not sure if there's a way to change it in the future, but for now I have decided on "Sta-Bright." Most of my family and some of my close friends call me "Sta" and my partner David calls me Sta Bright, which I think is really cute and makes me happy, so here we are. I use the word partner because I think the word boyfriend is a little too young for us and our relationship warrants a higher level than that. ANYWAY, there is the background information for you, my new friend, Tumblr. I already feel better.

So, this show really pissed me off for a few (many) reasons. I've legitimately been pacing around all morning. First, even the title of the show is misleading. The death of Elisa Lam was not a "crime." It was a devastating incident of accidental death highly likely (as confidently confirmed by all professionals involved) related to a psychotic episode of her mental illness, Bipolar I, which I also happen to have. Netflix using the title "Crime Scene" to lure watchers in is disgusting within itself. Good for you, Netflix. Holla for the dollas! Make that money, baby.

Then, beyond the fact Netflix milked four episodes out of a glamorized case that was ruled an accidental death for this reason not even long after finding Elisa, it is the whole ordeal of the reality and dramatizing of this saga that is so sad.

Upon the release of the famous elevator footage the day she went missing, it went viral almost instantaneously.

*Hold please* I actually just read an article by BBC.com where director of the series, Joe Berlinger, says, "For the average viewer it's another compelling story you watch and then move on to the next. But for who this happened to, it's the worst moment in their life. It's a real tragedy for that person and that family." LOLOLOLOL OKAY JOE!!!! Is this why you spent FOUR EPISODES talking about bullshit theories to keep people hooked and open more discussion? You know that this is not out of respect. Shame on YOU!

"If you look at the other tellings of the story, you'd see she's the victim of some horrible, evil presence that took control of her.

"Those kinds of narratives, I think, are incredibly disrespectful and probably why the family just didn't want to deal with another show that was going to exaggerate the circumstances of the tragedy."

So is this why you made a show exaggerating the circumstances of the tragedy? Lol. "We need to talk about the ghost stories" Or do you need to talk about them to open a can of worms to more losers who fixate on the case? OR IS THAT JUST ME? I don't know. Lemme tell ya what. If anything ever happens to me, please make sure this Joe Schmuck doesn't make a pathetic docuseries about it.

Then, aside from the pathetic profit of Netflix, the actual details of what happened and how society and the "web sleuths" investigated, obsessed, and chimed in on this case is a whole other ballpark about society's minimization and lack of knowledge or respect for mental illness on its own.

THEN, there is a quote by Amy Price, the manager of the hotel during the incident, who is now profiting on a book she is writing about HER experience:

"I want to share my story," she says.

"But this isn't a horror story or anything like that. This is a story about struggle."

Okay, Amy. Whose fucking struggle are you writing about here? I legitimately don't know if she is referring to hers or Elisa's, but either way, it's gross.

It makes me so sad that this whole situation warranted MILLIONS of theories, millions of internet trolls writing articles about the "BIZARRE" death of this girl. This case is not fucking bizarre. It is unfortunate but it is not bizarre. This case was plastered all over internet lists with the titles "bizarre, unexplained cases of missing people." It's not unexplained, and it only was not for long.

These "web sleuths" were busy having a blast, going to the crime scene, smiling as they recorded, posting videos about their stupid theories. Trolls posting their dumb, far-fetched theories without knowing all of the facts, thinking they know better than the professionals, who DO have the findings, did do the labs, did do the investigations. And people still insist that THERE HAS TO BE MORE.

Of course, I don't know all the facts either. BUT, according to the actual professionals involved rather than the entire population of people who love a good "mystery," Elisa's toxicology results showed that her levels of the medications she was supposed to be on signified she had not been taking them as she should have been. They also found bottles of her medicine that had more pills than prescribed, also showing that she had not been taking them.

THEN, she was removed from the room she had been sharing with a few others due to "odd behavior" leaving weird post-its telling them to go away, or whatever. THEN, apparently going into the hotel lobby and screaming "I'm crazy!" or whatever it was.

Although all experiences with mental illnesses are unique, all of these details plus the footage, both detailing erratic behavior, leave no doubt in my mind that the professionals, SHOCKINGLY, CRAZILY, may be right! Who thunk it! I have legitimately acted in the ways described and shown in the video. I don't and couldn't understand HERS, but I understand MY paranoia, hallucinations, experiences I have had, and the actions that are presented, and I guarantee some would look very similar to that footage. Ask the few people who know me best what it's like when I'm not on my meds or fuck them up. I legitimately saw myself in her actions.

Yet, the internet losers had to fixate on a death metal artist who had stayed in the hotel for a few days A YEAR before any of this happened and legitimately ruined his life. His alibi was completely valid and he was dismissed by investigators. He was out of the country, he had tons of substantial paperwork and proof that he was, but that didn't matter.

Because no one takes bipolar disorder seriously, dismissing it as just mood swings, people being dramatic, seeking attention, being lazy, and everyone needs something more sensational, THIS wasn't even an option. They needed to fixate on crazy, fun conspiracy theories, watching the footage over and over and over again, sitting in their caves with their thumbs up their asses writing about their ballpark theories, internet bullying innocent people instead of doing any research on bipolar disorder, instead of defending or considering that it was a psychotic episode, which literally all of the official facts and footage present.

Clearly I'm not a professional either, but like... watch the show and you tell me. You tell me what you think is likely. You tell me what the professionals agree on. But before you make that call, try reading a little bit about bipolar disorder. Try reading about the psychotic episodes that can come with it. It probably won't change your mind, but oh well. It probably is just the hotel being haunted, ya know. Right? This is just my little rant that doesn't matter.

If you want to think it was a ghost, a demon, if it was a murder even though she literally had zero signs of any physical violence and there was zero evidence of it and all evidence the other way, you do that, boo. Have a blast. Hey, I 100% could be wrong, right? Absolutely. Who am I? Just a little dramatic, stupid, crazy nobody.

That's just my take, no better than any other internet trolls, I suppose. When all is said and done, in my little fantasy world, I guess people would just take bipolar disorder seriously and understand the severity of it. People would take it to consideration for the actions and words of those who have it. That's not fun, though. Everyone loves money, everyone loves a good story. Everyone loves making fun of people. Everyone loves a disability you can see. Everything I do is just me being an oddball. Everyone loves to be an internet bully.

I'm sorry for Elisa and her family who have had to deal with years of this. Years of people dismissing the severity of mental illness and obsessing over ghost stories, obsessing over the number of likes or views they get, money they make off of it.

Wow, that was a blast. I'm fairly confident no one will read this, but I feel a lot better that I put that out there. Again, I'm a little nobody, so nothing I say matters, but that's just my take on all of it. I've given up trying to convince anyone that I'm anything but weird, because I know no one will care or accept that. I'll just keep making people feel uncomfortable and keep looking like an idiot. Woe is me, am I right?

You have a blessed day now.

[labelleizzy]

Q: What does it mean if a grown man (I’m 15) grabs my butt in a dream and I feel uncomfortable and try to escape the situation but he tries to do it again and nobody believes me when I tell them and ask for help?

A: Here's my basic rule about dream interpretation: It's more about what feelings you're having during the dream than what visuals accompany those feelings. The feelings I read from your description are feeling uncomfortable, perhaps feeling a bit like a victim, definitely feeling taken advantage of, and worry that you won't be heard if you are to speak up about somebody pushing your boundaries and not listening to your no.

Unfortunately, all of those are valid concerns for female human beings in the culture we live in today. Currently, bad men, and even ordinary men, are pushing boundaries and just grabbing for what they want in many circumstances. Frequently there's no repercussions for them doing that. And often young people, and often female or other non-male people, are dismissed, blown off, when we complain, or when we ask for help.

It's okay to be angry. It's okay to be sad, to feel whatever feelings you feel about the fact that that is often the case.

To combat feelings of helplessness, I recommend consciously building up your trustworthy relationships. Relationships with parents, siblings, cousins, old friends. People who already know you and who have your back. Share your feelings and worries with people who love you already, and build up your networks from there. Every time you take your courage in hand to share something that scares you or worries you, it's a chance to build up your community.

Courage is a muscle that takes work to build up and make stronger. But you can make conscious choices to do things that build your courage as well as your mental and physical strength.

Take a drama elective, if you have trouble speaking up for yourself, or are shy. (I did, when I was fifteen. Made friends I'm still, or back in touch with thirty years later.) It'll put you in places to try things you wouldn't probably consider doing for yourself. (Delivering a monologue in front of an audience is terrifying the first time, but that gets easier the next times you do it.)

Challenge yourself physically. I got to take a ropes course as a college freshman and went ziplining. Talk about challenging your fears! I'm turning 50 tomorrow (whoa, I can hardly believe it) and am finally strong enough again to explore another ropes course, or acroyoga, or other physical adventures.

Finally, I recommend that you seek out women as mentors. We've almost all been there. I mean. Experienced the feelings you probably had in that dream. And someone who's just a bit older than you (college age or early working-age) will be relatable, will relate to you, and will probably have more concrete suggestions for you, specifically, than I, a stranger on the Internet thirty years older than you, can possibly have.

I hope this helps a bit. I know I was glad of my one older female friend when I was a teenager. Seeing how she took life on courageously gave me a model for me to try that myself, in my own way.

Sending love, luck, and compassion,

Your one weird internet auntie Liz

[dionyrtal]

the clock hits midnight. it is november 13 in my country now which means it is launch day! however, amazon releases the books based on pacific standard time, so it will actually be out when i’m in my american literature class. funny. anyways, i just wanted to write something because... you know. writing always inflicts pain on you. it pricks your skin, your heart, your mind... but you like it. you like it for millions of reasons and i have mine as well. what could only remain as a dream turned into a beautiful flesh thanks to your support. your words and messages encouraged me to a point that my validation seeking self was actually validated truly. so this book is mine as much as it is yours. besides, death of the author is important. i must resume to my grotesque head and write without ever possessing an essence. i lose track of my ideas, forgive me. i am just too excited. this is my debut book which i self-published and worked on every aspect of it. i am proud. i am happy. i am sad. 

i can only wish from now on that you read those poems and you read them carefully so maybe it will prick you too. if you haven’t purchased it but want to do so, just click the link below the photo. it will create a spell which will land you on amazon page where you can actually buy it. and you can review it too. on amazon or goodreads. or tell your friends. family. internet buddies. it does not matter. and if you don’t want to talk about it, it is fine too. i release this magnificent flesh.

please stay safe, write, and love.

dion anja.