#when ppl would eat gross stuff

[m4xwell16]

man makes pancakes so bad they undo years of nerve damage, asked to leave bistro

[countjesterrr]

yk when I first got into Pokemon Sword and started finding Gordie to be one of my comfort characters, I remember finding how sad his fanbase was :,((

Like wym he’s not as popular as the other characters— it makes sense that Leon or Raihan become popular cause of their appeal BUT YOU WOULD THINK PPL WOULD LIKE GORDIE AS WELL BUT NO, ITS HIS MOM…

but back then, when I was trying to find good content or fanart or fanfics for him,, it would only be weird stuff like ships with his mom or eating fetishes like what :,((( that’s weird guys the only relatively plus size character in this game and ppl decided to do that with him?? gross behavior genuinely

It’s so nice now to see ppl genuinely find joy over the same character as I do :DD cuz before I thought I was one of the few Gordie fans!! thank god for tumblr fandom still being alive!!!

[enden-k]

hey! i absolute love your art and specially your ocs. i don't know if anyone asked you already and i apologize if you already answered this but i was wondering how did you came up with vika and saran's dynamic? i find them really interesting and appealing to see and i wanted to know your thoughts on how they came to be. sorry if i didn't make much sense, hope you have a good day!

oh its just a dynamic i really enjoy (mutual obsession; intense, extreme, true love to the point of consumption in any way; anything but "normal" (for a lack of better word, i hate this word) love) but dont rlly see bc of ppl either making everything extremely vanilla and pure bc theyre afraid most of the time, or the constant noncon/one persons obsession w another whos scared/doesnt want it in comics and i dont like the one and the other thing

i dont want them to force themselves on the other but i dont want clinically pure romance either. i need them both to be crazy as shit, to be obsessed with other and the other wanting it too

theres also some other stuff i dont really wanna get into. lets just say, im interested in looking into love itself and imagining how it is. its safe and not scary when i study it through art and not irl. bc i think if i (or maybe anyone else whos not uhh. like me) would experience a fraction of sarans or vikas love, i would actually go insane(r) from intensity lol

i kinda like mutual obsession/a level of possessiveness; i like not the cutesy, cozy simmer of affection beneath your skin but the full blown, all consuming love eating you whole; i like the need to be the only thing in your beloveds gaze and mind; i like that intensity of love, it makes you want to crawl inside your beloveds body to fully quench your need to be close them; the need to consume them to keep them as close to you as possible; i dont want power imbalance but both of them on the same level and same intensity of love. i want them both to give and to take. its so hard to put in words and i can only hope i can bring it across w them properly

anw yeah. when i started writing amygdala out, my plan was to make a lovestory like i already said before since i usually dont do lovestories when it comes to original works (i tend to do horror/dark fantasy/comedies); its just, its a lovestory in my way, ultimate love how i perceive it

i love gross or eerie things behind a pretty and/or seductive/erotic layer; the beauty of horror and unusual things and over it all, smth pure and innocent (be it by looks or concept. in this case, its vika and their love)

i think amygdala isnt only a lovestory between saran and vika but also a lovestory in the sense of things i just really love (mutual obsession and deep true love, consumption, ghosts, tentacles im not even joking, horror,....)

tl;dr: man i love octopus

sorry this got so long and i feel like i dissociated somewhere in the middle of it so im sorry if this makes no sense, doesnt answer anything or if im jumping around. literally going insaner than i already am over my own characters here wahh

[je5hko]

~ Beavis and Butthead headcanons!~

okay so i decided ill will post bnbh headcanons from time to time when im not posting art. The headcanons are random btw

TW: GAY PPL(/j), ANGST, GROSS STUFF, ABUSE, HOMOPHOBIA

Beavis eats his boogers, while Butthead has his own personal booger wall (behind the couch)

When they were kids, they would try to cheer each other up/ distract each other from their mothers yelling by making funny faces! Occasionally they would tickle each other as well!

Buttheads mother was absent most of the time, but when she was around she would ignore him. Refusing to believe he was her son. She would even tell him to stop calling her mom. (sobbing afterwards) But whenever Butthead cried, he received a slap on the face. "You are not allowed to cry” or "I’ll give you a reason to cry if you don’t shut up” is all she would say after hitting him. He quickly learned that expressing emotions is wrong, so he simply stopped.

Shirley on the other hand, would look after both of the kids. She was far from being a perfect mother, but there were times she would try to take care of them apart of being drunk all day. For example she occasionally would take them out to eat junk food, give them small presents like cheap action figures, making a vague attempt at showing affection. Basically trying her best at motherhood, but besides that she would often yell at them (mostly Beavis) slap them when they did something wrong etc.

Butthead was the one to learn basic hygiene even though he wasn’t a big fan of it, while Beavis struggled with it as fuck. The blonde would often use the sink/ bathtub instead of toilet, not bothering to clean after himself.

At 17 they tried to give each other stick and pokes. They ended up getting infections with the pen ink and rusty needle.

There are moments when their faces get too close, like when they're both trying to look at something on the TV or sharing a snack. Butt-Head gets flustered and pushes Beavis away, muttering something about personal space.

Sometimes Butt-Head finds himself wanting to do something nice for Beavis, like sharing his nachos or letting him choose what to watch on TV. When this happens, Butt-Head angrily tells himself to "stop being a wuss."

Beavis sometimes finds himself doing little things for Butt-Head, like saving the last chip for him or instinctively waiting for him before going anywhere. He doesn’t know why it feels important to do these things.

Butt-Head often convinces himself that whatever he’s feeling is just a phase or a result of being around Beavis too much, so he starts suggesting they hang out with others more often, though it never actually happens.

Beavis feels a strange sense of comfort when he’s sitting next to Butt-Head, often leaning in a little closer without realizing it. Butt-Head notices and tells him to back off, but deep down he doesn’t really mind.

Butt-Head is more aggressive in trying to pick up chicks than usual, using it as a way to distract himself from his growing feelings for Beavis. He convinces himself that if he gets a girlfriend, these feelings will go away.

Neither of them ever wears matching socks, not because they’re trying to be cool, but because they’ve lost so many pairs.

Butt-Head once wore the same pair of socks for two weeks straight just to see how bad they could smell. He proudly showed them to Beavis, who gagged but couldn’t stop sniffing out of morbid curiosity.

Butt-Head refuses to wash his hair more than once a month because he believes the grease gives him “natural style.” Beavis agrees.

There’s a cup in their room that has had mold growing in it for so long that it’s practically become a pet. They named the mold “Squishy” and take turns seeing who can get closest to it without gagging

They have a secret handshake that’s a combination of a high five, fist bump, and a quick flick of the middle finger, which they think is the coolest thing ever

Beavis and Butt-Head have an odd fascination with roadkill. They’ll sometimes poke at it with sticks or laugh about how “cool” it is.

Beavis sometimes wishes he was more confident like Butt-Head, not realizing that Butt-Head is just as insecure as he is but hides it better.

Beavis suffers from recurring nightmares about losing Butt-Head, being abandoned, or his mother. He tries to mask his fear with jokes, but these dreams deeply affect him.

They both have a subtle, unspoken agreement to look out for one another. When one is sick or down, the other steps in to offer support in their own way, whether it’s through humor or practical help

Beavis has a penchant for combining disgusting food items, like mixing pickles with peanut butter or dipping hot dogs in ketchup and ice cream. He genuinely enjoys these bizarre concoctions.

[bonbonburgerpants]

IT'S NINAH THEORY TIMEEEEE 🗣️🗣️🗣️

WARNING: this one is gross so TW for descriptions of body horror and eating ppl (not super graphics but just in case no one wants to read about such stuff then feel free to skip ":3)

This time, it's about how I think visitors may be skin stealers (literally)!

The theory itself is this:

The visitors first come out of the ground, then attack and "take over" their first victim. In this case, take over their look (so, skin and clothes). If their victim's body is different than their "starting" body, they could either literally morph into their shape just like that orrrrrr maybe devour their victim and internalize their unique features.

Then, when it comes to the memories and personalities of humans they took over, it can't of course be done through not supernatural means (obviously). SO!

By taking over their victim physically, some mumbo jumbo happens and they also take over their mentality to fit in as best as they can OR it's still kinda supernatural but involves munching down on the brain of the victim (which would work like this joke about eating a book to gain its knowledge, except here it'd actually work).

I think I got all of the things I need for this theory that could back it up but if I missed anything, let me know!

First, the description of the Intruder:

It can mean just that he looks unsettling in an uncanny way or that he literally got into someone's skin and it's creeping the MC out.

Then we got what the Reporter said regarding the first encounter of a suspected visitor who had dirt under their nails:

Why would a random regular nurse have dirt under her nails? Unless she wasn't just some random regular nurse, but a visitor posing as her (which got proven to be correct).

Then I got a word from a visitor himself, Bearded Guy about visitors:

Which here would make literal sense, as the human part would be a shell for the visitor.

And last but not least, Egghead Guy and his:

Here, I think it means that visitors are literal, walking and living caricatures of other people (and not that just out of stress, people's behavior turned into some grotesque performance that only has some human elements)

And because of all the pics, there's no doodle ":3c

[qiscute]

im kinda tired of being vegetarian. not like, i wanna eat meat again, but people are so annoying about it. like for example ive noticed: a lot meat eaters kinda hate being meat eaters. i was telling my friends about a cute anecdote about how when i was a kid me and my sisters would collect bones from dead sheep near my grandparents house to play knuckles (you know the game when you put the spine bones (?) on the back of ur hand and then flip ur hand and try to catch it??) and all my friends were going on about how gross it is to talk about dead sheep and we dont want to think about it and i was like bro. you are eating lamb right now what do u think that is?? and they all go on about how they dont want to think about it and how gross it is to go around playing with sheep skeletons as a kid and im just.

hot take maybe but u should know where ur food comes from. if u want to eat meat, u should be comfortable with the idea that that is MEAT. it is flesh from a dead animal. i dont care if u want to eat meat or not, thats ur choice (i mean obviously i would prefer if ppl dont because of the water and stuff), but EVERYONE should know and be comfortable with where their food is from. knowing that the lamb youre eating is from a dead animal shouldnt put u off eating that lamb, and if it does, congrats u dont want to eat meat. meat is from animals. meat is from animals that are killed. i dont know how many times i have to tell people this before they accept it. if that makes u uncomfortable, learn more about farming. do research. pay attention to what it is u cook and eat every day. and if by the end of that u still are uncomfortable eating meat and knowing its an animal, then u should be a vegetarian or vegan. its that fucking simple. you are an animal, a sheep is an animal, a cow or pig or chicken or kangaroo is an animal, and all meat is from an animal. people dont want to think about that. they dont want to have to face what it is theyre doing. a lot of people recognise the horror in eating meat but they just dont want to accept it because thatd mean they would have to accept that they do harm. and people would rather ignore

[depression-culture-is]

Depression culture is giving a blank stare at ppl that they think they are special for hating a popular character that happens to have canonically depression ( Stan Marsh, Dazai osamu,etc) and mock their depression traits like this: "I know their hair is greasy 🤪🥳", " I know they don't shower why u all crushing on them (dazai)", "they stinky".

then they said "I don't like the character I don't get the hype, it's for the girlies who romanticize it, he is canonically doesn't shower, he would be stinky and not attractive", even when the character are confirmed to be attractive (Dazai) or they are considered cute for other ppl w/ the same age as them in their universe (Stan)

like I get they dislike said character and get annoyed at said character,and how that fanbase romanticized their mentall illness ? But also it feels like they are mocking depression traits more than showing the reality of it just bc the character annoys them and the fanbase annoys them??

Yes, depression is hell. It makes u procastinate, feel worthless even when things don't go ur way, it causes u lack or energy to do get ur shit done, you barely have strenght to wake up,can't do self care, eat too much or nothing.

But that doesn't mean every person w/ the depression acts the same and don't do self care. some of us, try to do it, some of us do some stuff like showering but not brushing teeth, not everyone acts in the same way.

but some of those ppl implied ppl w/ depression can't be attractive, god forbade us to be good looking bc we are depressed??

Be fucking for real.

I'm not cancelling people before you all jumped saying shit like " ppl this day so pressed" I'm just ranting something that annoys me.

I don't know if u get my point, if u would like to give ur opinion.

i agree. but, i mean, lack of self care doesn't even inherently equal unattractiveness. you can not brush your teeth or not shower daily or even weekly and still be an attractive person. same goes for people who overeat or don't eat at all, those who can't get out of bed in the mornings, those who's house is a mess because they can't get out of their own way. at least, that's how i see it.

people definitely need to take a look at how their behaviour and words might affect those who do the same things as those "unattractive" characters. all you're proving by saying that they're stinky and gross and unattractive, is that the people who do those things in real life are the same.

[satoruhour]

on a scale of 1 to 10 (with 1 being not that bad and 10 being the nastiest fucking experience imaginable) how bad was sucking toji’s cock? spare no details this is important information

CRYIFNFHNGN WHAT IS THISSSS JELLYYYY 😭😭😭😭 STOP SHAMING ME ON DMs nsfw talk under cut it’s p weird i dont blame you if you dont read it 😭😭😭

if we keep to ur oc ver of him being like good with hygiene and keeping his pubes clean then i would say 3 because i just know he forgets to shower some nights and he sweats SO easily that it’s a little gross and there’s this like musky scent of sweat. he’s almost clean shaven and his pubes are like curly and stuff and sometimes you get hair in your mouth LMFAOOO. but usually he sets aside only like a day to trim it and the rest of the week is left for it to grow. so if you catch him on day 7, good luck. oh and also i think it’s just your immune system phenomenon of being attracted to someone’s odor. IDK OKAY .... i have not been with someone so i wouldn’t know if sucking cock while they’re sweaty is GOOD OR NOT .

and if we just go by canon then maybe 9.............. like yeah he’s probably gross and uses only bar soaps at common showers at swimming pools or something bc technically he’s homeless but it’s still . toji ya know 🧍‍♀️ only thing is that i will NOT be holding his thighs bc it would be like slick with sweat and like euuugghh so you usually likes it when he has his hands and your head and you can hold onto his forearms. his cum is like salty and ew too cause all he eats is ramen and fast food; anyway if i was shiu kong i would suggest he make a business out of getting ppl to suck him off cause lord that would get him money so fast he wouldn’t have to resort to betting on races. and i would be his first customer 🙏🏼

say hi 💀💀💀

[avadacandelabra]

Dreams from 15/3/25

FN came back from his break and was seeming like I wasn’t managing my staff properly. He said so there’s 4 ppl in dispensary and none in the background doing stuff like this pack just had to be finished off and sealed. I said my sister is dealing with a customer (about whether the crabs you buy to eat can be raised from scratch), Jia was trying to study and I was doing something and then there was Kate doing street scripts. I said to him what is this, are you insinuating like I'm not doing anything. I kinda raised my voice very confidently then he had nothing to say in return. Then Emil showed up and kinda knew it had been heated and asked me how my morning had been. There was a wet sock stuck to my computer screen

-

I was with Matt under the covers and I was naked then he just left me and we had been whispering I’m sure people could hear I felt a bit embarrassed

-

Something big happened, I kept getting held back from closing the shop idk it felt like a huge energy. And there was a fucking demon lady with red eyes who came in and was causing like a superhero movie vibes. I wasn’t scared though I mean I was kinda like wtf at first but then I walked up to her and did it back I realised she was just the opposite of me and I wasn’t scared of her at all I didn’t care it just felt like something I had to do so I could lock up. And then it was over and as we were walking out, I felt like there was some other lady who might be infected either with the demon virus too but I didn’t want to know. I quickly ran out the door and quickly as I could locked the door. I felt that maybe I wouldn’t be able to lock the door in time because it wasn’t aligning properly and she would come bursting out but I was able to lock it up. I did so in a panic. Then she was there, behind the door, with her partner and I looked at her and she was fine I don’t think she had the red eyes anymore.

Then I was walking home, I with a bunch of people and some other thing happened with the towns people which I ignored. I went to go turn on the tap and wash my hands because some bird crapped on my head and it really grossed me out. As I was washing a couple of birds came to drink the water they didn’t care about what was happening either, they just wanted a drink even one of them was really bright yellow, which was weird, but I didn’t care. Then I washed my head too but I had to get home to wash it properly. Kiera Knightly was there and two other of my staff members who I don’t recognise and we were walking home and the three of them went home to Vanessa Tran's house direction and I didn’t car. I think they were wondering if I would go there and hang out but I walked off home and I even looked back at them and they at me. I smiled and waved and turned the corner. Then co ha was on a bike riding back it was so random and it’s like I had my mums phone and she didn’t have as many contacts as I thought she did just Viet ppl like a handful or so.

Also during the fiasco that happened at work, a squad of people came in and it was like a whole crowd to act as a distraction like dressed up as customers and talking really loud because apparently there were microphones or something and it was feeding off our energy. They seemed like they would sort everything out but all they did was make us do a questionnaire in some secret way like oh ignore this do this I was so confused about all the pages and couldn’t really be bothered I think that’s when I took things into my own hands.

Also some customer came who had a DD script and it had no handwriting and she seemed like the type to complain but I just sorted it out I went up to her no fear and said I can’t do this scripts it’s not your fault though your doctor needs to learn how to write scripts like making a joke and lightheaded situation and she completely went with it.

[rjschoicesstuff]

(incoherent rambling ahead cuz its late here lol)

Also sorta continueing from that last post but I like to think that as he stops being so isolated from humans (first Ripley, but also Terri, whom I like to think becomes very important to both Cas and Gabe) Cas would start feeling weird/conflicted about killing humans.

Idk lol I think th whole vampires killing n feeding off humans-thing in ID, esp regarding Cas, is kinda 1 of those things ur just not Supposed to think too much/deeply about or something. But I doooo like thinking about it n imagining how I'd have written it n stuff..

When I reimagine things I always keep coming back to like 'I just feel like they would hunt animals too' bc when it's just humans it doesn't make sense in my head with th amount of ppl tht would have to be killed each month, esp bc th venandis arent the only coven that works like that, I imagine? (Also I just think th idea of like hunting animals n just like eating them like That is even more Gross n I like that a lot..)

+ also partly bc I always have a hard time imagining Gabe actually being able to be okay with a mc that chooses either to join the Venandis or both covens. Or Cas for that matter like I definitely can imagine they'd start getting closer n with all the Stuff going on they just don't rly think about that anymore but hdbs idk. Eventually it would come up again and be an issue, I imagine?

Idk one day I will make a proper post about how I reimagined things, lore wise and like changes nd dilemmas characters have n stuff (esp 2 make th whole cas + gabe friendship work) I just put it off a lot bc sth feels Horribly Cringe about changing sm stuff about a series I love. But its just funnn 2 me idk... 😭😭 I enjoy working with existing stuff n giving it my own twist, it's not done in a way like im 'fixing' the story cuz I LOVE canon ID lol.

[the-firebird69]

The Cars ~ Moving In Stereo we listen hear them wow wow this is bad. and it is. they fall. and tons died. nd they say htis we re cockly and have tudes. why. and sy it we harrass him. so.  and ouir son says ok yoiu harrassme so you get a free ride by van to the gifted small string orchestr this saturday monring t the activits center i mea really shit you are now gross. retrds at fishermans villa and yes hte see who you are.  gross shits. and are in truoble.  sink now.  and publcly and at eachother.  

and it is about cars.  well. john cena the cenerator. this band and songs were to tell ofi  it and yes the cena car kicked off the parting out of cars.  and tons. and soon car parts.  and threateened all and did so to amass weaponry and now surruoned by bja who says he hd him do it when the empire had them all do it. 

the cars also means vehicles.  but particular ones and related only to cars.  the dodge aries k  is  te God of War and it means that.  and states it there. too.  nd our son pays Homage to his Father and i the cinematic and games as Kratos and shall appear as he if he makes it to comicon and show you what he looks like.  imemnse arms ok. huge thck neck giant lats hulk sized delts and more. massive legs like tree trunks.  and for comicon he will paint up and more. fun stuff he will say tons will be in fer and he iwll sign autogrphs.  and accept somemoney yup. tons say it we want to have lunch w you. he says you buyin and he says it a huge circle in front of him and they say no way but ok and they go and eat good. he has a sandwich and  they laugh seteroids no eats a few times each day about five.  nd see him eating a lot.  laugh nd are in fear.  he is a giant nad hated ok. but no wont eat ppl.  fun stuff if you do it though.

wont and ok yout then tons say it your out turmp.  were the msternow your out.  aare not him dont care for it we dont care for you we need to your out too and weak gross and losers.

all thsongs say it teh cars help good

Thor Freya

Olympus

we helped make a small economic car and the broke it.  and the escort was prior to sow e sued it on them yes

tht sucked bdly i hate it see why no.  ok he thinks.  going to the store passing by tom foolery......usualy about tommy allen and ok we pass by the gifted and try to and get hurt and ghwb saw it .worked told us all we worked . they are off good.  we got spun around each of us had an injury and also females rep by ellie and qe2 nd it was a hit order.  tried it on him and they died and a lot and in te midwest.  we simply left but were hurt  a lot.  we need this out . need others to see macs and what they do wanted thiem there nd to use it nd did and do

Camilla

we are sorry about our fight have to.we lose and go down. need to fight to stop it. but yeh we cant fight macs will be bd.  need out i guess

trump

your a loser cant ifugre out how to open a door t times we do it leave you trump and out of here your a high spaz now.  no.  he hates you. is alone and your a tyrant nad faggot. shithead. out

mike g

and so i am so what

trump

and wrarhammer in full swing outfits on armor. ships up. stan hit. and you are out up to titan. hit yourself hard and after teh borg ship.  and are controlled by ghwb.   and he is out still yeh.  are out.  leave.  go to concord.  and tommy f puts you there he said it itoohis singatrue.  and gone.  wars over teh pyrmids and in massachusetts.  all to go deeper.  and to shps that are ancient.  and unknown.  not identified. huge.  but yeh tax day and symbolic of those who would free the slaves so they accuse you of it trump

Zues Hera

and we are the slaves and no they say not those the other ones.  and i say negros...they say yes them too.  and go on....os his  people. y s you did it and on purpose and it is your ass character charles manson that shows it and hte ladies hhave you in the mansiont your wife sings that song over nd over cstles.  and had him in casl.  and your dopes they are too but owmen do stuff and us you. we see it.  cnsst stop it and ok. we did it too. but no this is rancid. now fight them or else.  and we wont and you shall leed it and your the  odd man out not women. ok trump your done

macs

we see ittoo he is the guy and we hit.

he tried for tommy f and the cars ten times today.  and on his bike. and yyeh from a dodge ries k.  and to use it.  tommy f whipes himout

news shortly but ok

the caverns are looked t.  groups made it there.nd  few.  and trump found this empty no. and pissed outside some saw him balk.  and heard this. youir the faggot. and he did  pee outside stn owns the apprtments. will look intoi it.  and knows how.  wills ee the pile. and it is used to threten for the money there in wesboro and both of them and his banck account.  

THE GROUPS FOUND HTIS NOT EMPTY HAS EMMO ORDINANCE AND TRUCKS TANKS AND JETS AND NEW ONES BIG ONES UP TO 170 FEET PLUS AND MORE.  TONS OF ROCKETS SMALL ONES LAUNCHERS ARMORED TRUCKS AND ONE MORE THING THE LEADERS LIKE, THE OSHKOSH PERSONELL MOVEERS WITH LARGER TIRES AND MEAN ONES ARMORED RIGHT CNAN ROLL VERTICALLY AND ARE TOUGH AS HELL.  AND ARMED TO THE TEETH  HAS TECH AND TRIPLE REDUNDANCY.  DONE WELL.  WANT THEM. TONS OF ORDINANCE AND SPECIAL AND BLASTERS TONS OF THEM STOCKED UP. AND BY WHOM.  TONS WONDRED.  TRUMP OK

Thor Freya

Olympus

[starsdailyjournal]

Journaling for my mental health as an epic scene girl (not clickbait) Day 1!

Today (sunday) I woke up at like 12:44 am or pm idkkkk but it was when the sun was up and like my dad had asked me to call him and since I have like ptsd I tweaked out but I brushed my teeth first because like I'm trying to get myself into the routine of doing that now. Anyway I called him and he just wanted me to like make my sister breakfast and put the food we made in the fridge but like he rlly freaked me out by just texting me "Call me when you wake up.". And he said he was getting us pizza which is now one of my least favorite things to hear from him (because of the c-a-l-o-r-i-e-s and because I'm really bad at expressing grattitude to him since we are sorta close (he is my bio dad I've known him all my life its complicated). But anyway I made my lil sister (10 yr old nerd) an awesome omelet with mozerela and sausage slices AND a cheese crust idk how to explain it basically I put cheese in a pan after I made the omelet and when it was still melty and not hard I put the omelet I already made on it and the I folded the whole thing when the cheese was cooked!! I bet it was yummy idk tho but anyway after that I scammed someone on adopt me (l-o-l) for like an fr panda, r sloth and nfr or nr hydra they got 20k rh diamonds tho soooo yk its fine!!! I was gonna scam sum more but like I got stuck trying to figure out how to use razer cortex (because royale high is so laggy on this dumb laptop) and I was stuck on that for hours legit untile dinner!! but while I was stuck on that my dad came home and gave me some chocolate which was nice but it also sucked because I CANT express grattitude its rlly hard for me bc I'm too grateful that I feel like if I tried to put into words the gratuity I feel I would spaz. BUT anyway I haven't eaten the chcolate yet (also its dark chocolate and if u dont fw dark chcolate ur ai generated) but I did eat 2 slices of this rlly oily garlic pizza for dinner just now! it was gross and I lowk cant stand that it's in my system (iykyk) but I can't do nun abt it BUT I am starting my fast rn and it should last this whole week!! So that'll make up for this but erm IDK ahhahahaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't like talking abt eating but this is an honest journal... Should I add TWs?? Bc I rlly dont wanna I be sleepy at night which is when I'll be typing these out. Omgeee also like I've wanted to go back to being quarantine level chronically online 4ever now bc I love doing that in the summer but my dad has parental controls on all my stuff (including this laptop) so I cant go on disboard n stuff to find online friends to give me entertainment n stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!! but I FOUND A WAY YALL!! I'm just gonna be ROBLOX chronically online tho I am a robloxian already (since 2018) I want to be one of those ppl who are always on it yk (thats why I was scamming today n trynna unlag royale high) SOOO when I'm not studying I'm gonna be scamming and trading in royale high and adopt me!!! Maybe I'll try n make sum friends but rn I'm focused on the games I'm already planning on getting my dp from starpets n I have a decent halo + ltbs on rh n all my dream stuff besides 1 set n 2 accesories!! so like I'm prettyyy good but I wanna get REALLY good like those ppl who have 5 owls and 8 parrots lolz! And I literally love roblox and everyone who plays it (besides anyone with brainrot humor ironic or unironic idc) everyone else are so cool!!! So like yea and I have 30 dollars that I'm prob gonna use on robux I might try n get headless bc my mom pays me to do computer science courses and my dad pays me half of whatever my mom pays me!! Honestly I feel like journaling is sm fun rn i love talking but nobody ever listens screaming into the cyber void is so fun!!! Also I'm gonna likeeeee eat my chocolate after I shower rn probs and then my fast starts!!! ALSO omg halloween is coming up!! I'm def gonna be a vampire! If anyone enjoyed my journal tell me what your gonna be for halloween!! Omg if my journal/blog gets big I would call the ppl who read it bats!! that would be sosososo cooool ANYWAY FOLLOW ME!!!!!!!!!!!!

[5tar9litter]

Things my mom said multiple times:

Partying:

“I don’t know why I don’t like it. I should like drinking and gambling. I should like talking to those thai girls even if they are hella rude. I should leave all of my kids alone at home while I go party past 12 at midnight. I guess I’m just weird like what they said. I don’t like talking to those people. They are so annoying, always boasting about how much money they make and then wasting it all away in the casino! Why don’t I like them? Why do I hate it so much??”

She’s said this exact topic at least 60 times this year of 2023. And I’d explain it’s because they are horrible ppl and it’s okay to have different hobbies from others. At least you are saving money, avoiding health risks, and just go find better ppl to be with. Plus I am the same way. I hate those ppl with the same passion but I just found better people who doesn't do those type of things.

Then she’d forget what I just said and start the same exact paragraph by next week or month.

And I start to interrupt when she is talking now because it’s annoying having them ask dumb ass questions esp if you just consulted them like 45x’s now. It’s just a waste of time and I noticed I’ve been either telling her she and I already talked about this or changing the subject completely.

Food:

“I wish we ate more sweets. As a family, nobody in this family likes it. I buy so much cookies, sodas, pizzas, apple pies, cakes, and candy but nobody eats all of it?”

I’d explain, “it’s too sweet. And there’s so much too. You buy like 26 apple pies and expect 4 of your kids to eat all of it in a week?? No thanks.”

“But why can’t we be like an american family? Why can’t we just eat all of the sweets like that?”

“But that’s why all of Americans are dying from cardiovascular diseases, Mom. Sweets kill u if you eat a lot, duh. What r u trying to do, kill us?”

“Haha, you are right but look at how good it looks.”

“Gross. It’s too sweet. Why did you buy so much sweets from the store again? You know 19 years of my life, none of us like cakes and stuff like that.”

“*attempts to eat all 26 apple pies by herself and stops eating by the 3rd apple pies* yuck! it’s so sweet! Why can’t I finish all of it?”

“Facepalms**”

SHE DOES THIS ALL THE TIME AHHH. She knows we don't like sweets. Period. Yet she buys it all the time and always complains that we never eat it even though none of us wanted it. If we were like, "Mom can we buy these cupcakes?" then we don't eat all of it. Then that makes sense that she'd be mad. But she's actually encouraging us to eat unhealthy on a daily basis. Like do you know how much pizzas we've had delivered to house on the daily basis? 6 BOXES for 4 KIDS AHHHH

This behavior did start my brother's food addictions though. Because she would encourage us to eat all of this and they would finish all 5 or 6 boxes by themselves. Now my brothers are having heart problems and stomach issues. Bruh.

Family in laws:

"When you date or get married, you are gonna have to sacrifice your whole life to your man's parents. You have to clean and cook for them 24/7. You will become a slave to them. Dating is never fun. It's only miserable"

I just nod my head and act like I'm listening every time she says this.

My job

"You shouldn't go to college and get a job. Just open a business. I'll support you."

She doesn't even have enough money to buy me food. I have to work to pay for it. It's so annoying because my dad told me the same thing but he can't even pay the bills so he's always stressing out.

"You should start a Youtube channel."

I respond with, "No thank you. I hate filming stuff. I don't even post 1 picture on my other social media so what makes you think I wanna?"

"Just saying. It'd be a good start."

"Yeah yeah."

She brings up this same topic of me starting a Youtube channel another 30x.

"Why do you keep telling me this, Mom!?"

Usually, I end up getting really pissed off. I hate when I get mad at anybody including my mom but she has a weird habit of repeating herself.

She really wants me to fucking start a youtube channel. I did start one at some point but then I got busy with school or other things and it was really boring for me so I just stopped. But it annoys me that she doesn't understand that I don't like making youtube videos especially at the moment. In the future, I can see it happening but not now. She still keeps suggesting it.

Another thing that annoys me is that she always tell me that my job sucks.

It took me 6 months to get my job and I love it to death. Even if it's minimal pay: Around 16$/hr where I live.

My coworkers are so nice. My managers are so kind and patient with me. The customers are so good to me and they treat me like family. The job is easy and fun. Sometimes I get yelled at by customers because I work at retail and I need an ID from them in order for them to purchase the cigarettes. 97% of them are pretty compliant. So it's fast and easy and if they argue, my coworkers always back me up. They are so kind compared to my old job where I had no support. So, I am always happy to come to work because for someone in my position and history, especially with a tight schedule, this job is like paradise for me. So every time I have a small issue like customers being an idiot or me being hit on at work which is all the time, my mom would say my job sucks.

I call her out on it because at least I am working and you know, compared to my old job at Petco, it's actually really good for a college student. It's close by and easy and relaxes me even if there's small mishaps.

She says she just meant all of that work for 17/hr. I tell her, "For now, this is what I just gotta work with it. But it doesn't suck. I'm just really grateful I have a job.

Babies:

"Do not have babies when you are young." Valid.

Boyfriends

"No dating until you finish school and get a career."

"

Valid.

"You can only dress like that around your boyfriend when you get one."

"You can only go watch movies or go out with your boyfriend when you get one."

"You can only get a house when you get a boyfriend."

"When you get a boyfriend, you'll have someone to hang out with all the time."

"WHY DO YOU WANT A BOYFRIEND SO MUCH I DONT UNDERSTAND WHAT'S SO GOOD ABOUT HAVING ONE?!!?"

Mom, ever since I was young. You instilled this mindset that I need a boyfriend to have freedom in life. You won't even let me go out without a guy accompanying me and every guy I am just friends with you think I am dating him. AHH WHY IS SHE LIKE THIS?

"OOoh, looks like you are ready for a boyfriend~" My mom would tease me all the time and at the same time she'd tell me, "No boyfriend! You are too young. Not until you are a doctor!"

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Casinos:

For 5 years, this is all she talks about. She hates it there with so much hatred that it's incomprehensible but she keeps coming back to work there. Her coworkers also got annoyed with how repetitive she can be and she's told me about this. They told her there's so much careers out there. Why does she keep coming back to the casino if she hates it so much then quits within 5 months??

This year in 2023. she just quit one casino and now she secretly applied to ANOTHER ONE this month in August and my dad found out and yelled at her. I remembered their argument. "YOU LIED TO ME! YOU TOLD ME YOU'LL NEVER GO BACK AND YOU WENT AND APPLIED WITHOUT TELLING ME? YOU KNOW YOU ARE GONNA QUIT AGAIN. YOU DID THIS 5 TIMES ALREADY. WHY DON'T YOU LEARN? YOU CAN'T DO GRAVEYARD SHIFTS. YOU KNOW HOW SICK YOU GET WHEN DEALING PAST 3AM. WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO YOURSELF?!" I understand my mom wants to work again but doesn't know any other way to make lots of money with just a high school degree. But I agree this can't be healthy. When the other casino she applied see that she just quit 5 other major(popular) casinos within 3 years. They are gonna reject her applications because they know she likes to apply then quit after 5 months.

New business plans:

"I should buy those asian plants and sell it on facebook!"

I encourage her. She's been talking about this for a year now.

"I should cook food and sell it on facebook marketplace like those thai girls!"

I encourage her alot for this because I think she'd do well. She's been talking about this for 2 years now.

"I should work in another job that isn't the casino." *never does so*

"I wanna open an asian fast food shop with a drive through. I never seen one here in America."

I encourage her.

"I want to be a real estate agent. *Continues to explain how much money she'd make and swears she'll finish the classes to get the certificate.*"

This convinced me and my dad that she would actually do it. My dad is really hard to convince so I was surprised he let her. My dad said he'd support her until she gets a degree which is supposed to take 6 months only. She paid $1000, took the class for 5 months, then quit with no refunds.

She told me it's because the professor said she won't be able to become a millionaire until a year later because the economy is rocky right now so nobody's buying houses right now especially with the interest rates being so high for them.

I understood it but I told her like at least finish the last month and just take the exam. You get to cheat too like they do not care at all. Like just get the certificate and get it over with.

She explains she don't have the confidence to finish it. So she never finish the class or the exam. She ended up wasting $1000 even though I offered to cheat for her. ITS LITERALLY AN OPENED BOOK TEST. THE PROFESSOR LITERALLY TOLD HER THE ANSWERS FOR THE EXAM SO IT LITERALLY IS JUST FILLING IN THE BLANK.

After she did that, I've lost all hopes for her bro.

I don't encourage her to start a business because she's always quit or never make action. But you know what did she do? She bought this asian plant and gave it to some random mien woman to profit off of her for free :D R u fucking kidding me? Mom, why. That was your money right there. U bought that plant to make money on facebook but instead you gave it to some random asian lady. She was pretty disappointed in herself as well.

She always talk about: her Nightmares, hair loss, unhealthy eating, nutritional deficiencies, walking at the park, how much she hates my dad and how dirty the house is.

I don't really care and actually respond to her about it.

Things my dad always say:

"Always invest your money!"

"Just take easier classes."

Yeah sure let me just not graduate college by not taking my required Biology: Anatomy and physiology and statistics classes.

"You have to graduate with a bachelor!!"

Also refuses to support my education**

"You are gonna be a millionaire!"

"Why am I such a loser?" My dad always says that to himself.

He brags about me alot especially about how I won 2cd place on a contest and ended up being interviewed on tv.

I luv my parents but omg they are so dumb.

[castle-dominion]

5x5 probable cause

plot heavy one, idk if I want to watch it rn. Maybe I'll use the extra 20 minutes I won, even tho the dvd set is due soon.

(also just remembered a song: hey dom hey what show me how you buffalo I'll show you how I buffalo with my hands up high & my feet down low, this is how I buffalo buff-alo bu buff-alo, buff-alo, buf buff alo hey next person)

Ok so I did indeed spend some of my minutes reading a fic idea to my brother for his opinion bc he's smart but he gave no thoughts.

Why wouldn't tess pick up the mail? She's dead that's why Oh no blood oh it's still dripping Oh yo that is gross af

lmao castle comes out with a sword Oh yeah. College. Laundry. Oh yeah. College. Visiting home & eating food. RC: what abt your laundry? My lil bro: What about your lung water? love how the guitar sound plays while he toys with the orange juice

Lanie won't sleep for weeks? doctor parish? who works with the dead? who has been to countless murder scenes? probs more than a hundred even Would you need a second person to help you put up the body

it WAS the roommate!

Why is ryan standing facing more to castle than the murder board? ig bc castle is speaking but... Make a copy of the symbol & run it through the internet

saturday, what day is it today? I like how the body is not super fresh like it usually is drugged? yep I was right!

ryan's outfit ooh so so nice. It is nicely woven & I might grab a pic. surgically wiped?

RC: Jewelry. I never would've thought of that. [for the crime finger prints] KB: I guess I'll have to remind you when my birthday's coming up. [telling rick to think of that in a different context] Esposito looks nice & all but he is just wearing a tshirt

Yeah, ok, tons of ppl forget to wipe their fingerprints off the outside of the apartment they just murdered in.

Lol he IS in the system, he has been arrested too much

Interesting editing & stuff. v nice. oh right, dun dun dun it's castle & all that csu got them first? I mean good... they always mess up the crime scenes

I had smth to say but forgot it bc I am not pausing the ep as much as I have in the past. espt has his gun

Not that you KNOW of first name? JE: Contaminated crime scene is not a joke. I'll square this away with CSU. You watch your hands next time, okay?

Looks enough like Someone We Know... Ok but isn't the juvvie file sealed until they actually commit a crime as an adult? This guy has not been proven to have done any crimes yet

Hm. Man has curlier hair than I expected. friday morning, friday evening... Hm I like his shirt. Kind of pink but faint squares patterned on it.

True, he would probably not be flustered

Ah good, they have a diagram of the sigil thing

KB: A diamond earring? KR: We found it in the couch. CSU couldn't pull a print off it, but you see the design? That's custom - Erica Courtney. JE: And you know this how? KR: I recognized it from when Jenny and I went ring shopping. [Esposito gives Ryan a teasingly dubious look.] KR: Anyway,

Looks like Someone We Know you can't see the hair colour there bro. Also othe nose is too long

first names & stuff.

*closes the door after becks leaves but before espt can, right in front of his face* Javi, there's something you need to know

Cut to the shock at finding out abt their relationship He looks ahocked af lmao Normally I'd be happy for them! Also neat to see his financials. Mostly car & cab stuff. A radio donation tho which sounds fun. So many first names this episode

Did I throw a party & forget again? XD At least he is seeing the warrant The way he waited for her to say who bought it for her implies he didn't know LT holding him back THE MUSIC WHEN HER EYES GO TO HIM DANG

If the killer was THAT meticulous, then he would not have left evidence like that in his own apartment

Find evidence. That is your job

When you look through castle's phone records we know well you only learned of it this day my dude reminds me of the "we're detectives" 'called your dad' scene

Yeah. Gates is probs the best for this interrogation His scalp moved lol RC: I'm flattered but it wasn't me! castle it is not best to point fingers away from yourself for the sake of getting them away from you. I mean it is, it is important that they investigate all avenues, but still. How does a burner cell send a messag efrom tess's phone? Paid companion is a nice way to put it

Girl you can check his word count, teachers use that technology to check how students are doing tests. It shows when the changed were made.

love martha's gloves the music is great saying "nobody could have gotten in" is not helpful

Remember back in like s2 or smth when becks said "don't worry castle I'd break you out" it was the galaxy of greg episode, the prison break episode yeah 3x5

the same way as tessa's? But the affair? Seriously? That was included in the details? Oof the music

sitting on the floor hhhh crying hhhhhhhhhhhh maybe he was already writing the dry run & killed her in strangling passion & then he used the written murder (which he as not planning on committing) to hide it & deleted the file to hide that fact

like a little boy so scared sdjdskhfjsh sad sad sad "fun?"

Oooh nice angle babes!

FREAKIN J ROOK? I DID NOT GET A CHANCE TO SEE THAT THE FIRST TIME HOLY CROWS 3XK??? but i don't think human noses can tho... do you legit prefer to go by 3xk? not the triple killer not jerry tyson not any other names you had? (btw, marcus gates killed two women & attempted killing another, NOT jerry tyson. I don't think we have actually seen 3xk kill anyone on the show yet. (I noticed that she was strangled with a scarf or rope when dr parish mentioned it earlier this episode but I didn't want to spoil it)

Yeah he really is thorough isn't he He's right, I did think that while he strangled her she is not blonde. Yeah was the writing style castle's? He already said that he prefers 3xk, ricky four years in prison. He was going to pin it on marcus gates, give his brother the surgery, & marcus would go to prison & then he could go killing again. That was his vanishing act. I thought u said u could smell fear not taste it I can see that. Destroy.. ..you,, better than kill not the daughter, not the making love, this is freaking horrifying, & I kind of love it lies of a desperate man, esp one who writes fiction Wait so you WILL kill him? or get him killed? Look into the guys he hired then! Look into the hitmen! lil bro: Scratch him! Get his DNA under your nails!

I wonder how ryan is reacting to this. castle's blue eyes are colourless in this lighting, I love it.

3xk targeted women to kill, he is not killing castle tho Ooh I always like ryan's square patterned shirts

"not at this time" is a great response

Been to central as a cop or as a prisoner esposito? & I like beckett's turtleneck too

I think Dever's acting is the only thing here,

who the heck is "jav"? That's like if a "P.J." was to go by "Peej" or "P" when PJ is already a nickname for peter jacob or paul james or whatever. lil bro: jav you found any evidence yet?

Oh wait... she is not thinking of holding's security for keeping him, she is thinking of it for breaking him out!! WHO got out of holding? Tyson? No, when? Wasn't it the CIA guy who also took a body? gates was like "how did he walk out the front door?" When was tyson ever in holding? He appeared in 3x6, then his gun in 4x14, & now in 5x5, but he was never in holding. 4x15 pandora thomas gage left holding. OH WAIT TYSON DID IT NOW, TODAY I love him too <3 <3 <3

castle still making jokes That flashback <3 Velasquez & LT! We know both their names! Oof he's just walking thry there, everyone sees him, look at that, also look at those boobs on that man. OH NO WHO TOOK HIM!?!?!?

OH NO 3XK KILLED HIM He IS well connected, he is well connected, has resources, & knows procedure, you're correct So what's our next *turns & becks is gone* ...Move?

Like ryan pretending to be a kid in the library in kick the ballistics man still needs to change his look the less you know DEFINITELY the better

Right! He really is the son of a broadway star

Wow lol weirdos there

wow it IS richard castle See? I said the nose is not right

I have not paused enough & I keep not writing things down but I am running out of my allotted time. Anyway I remember what I forgot: ryan doesn't get a lot of screen time, he is wading thru paperwork, he is messed up with this case, he is hurt & angry & doing everything he can to help castle & get 3xk.

looks "a bit" like the show's producer? yeah no

becks maybe don't reveal that you're with a fugitive...

lmao french serial killer Most ppl don't use initials. Calls them "kev" & "espo" & a little earlier "jav" <3

It is not going to be a person it will be a rotating fan or smth wearing their vests but not castle lol remember when ben conrad who wasn't ben conrad shot someone & then disappeared into the closet or smth? What if 3xk did that & he's still here?

Why is castle still here?

He should become a murder mystery writer then, if he likes the pageantry of killing but death only takes a moment.

VG: For this, at least. There's still the matter of your escape from custody. I like gates' looks right now. rly pretty, nice hair, nice red coat girl he escaped before, I'm sure he can do it again.

This is NOT just a place for a stationary conversation for the point of an interesting director's/writer's choice

running em off the bridge? Haven't we seen that already?

He fell back & she kept shooting, which, good, double tap, but she has decently good aim Is that blood on his face? WHERE did he throw away the gun? don't telegraph your location idiot

that is a lot of bubbling water

IT IS ALREADY DAYTIME & THEY HAVEN'T CHANGED?

just like james gillies. He is NOT that careless you are correct. But then why was he meticulous enough in other places? Because either way he would win? either castle dies & beckett lives knowing he was innocent, or castle escapes but 3xk fakes his death?

Just like derrick storm! It has to be public & it has to be final

For now

Ooh interesting outro music! I freaking love it! I should grab my fiddle! Holy moly! They wree right when they wrote this, it can be groovy spy music, it can be sexy 40s music, it can be silly little silly guy music, it can be tragic romantic music... It is a good little riff

Ok now that was incredible. I also wish we got more ryan time in this ep but they couldn't include it bc if they did they would have to include more of him to explain & resolve it. Or you know, maybe I'll be forced to write an episode tag fanfic.

I got off at 15.30, perfect timing!

but now I've spent a whole hour working on a fanfic with my little bro. a casefic dw.

[lawyerkin]

i was looking back at some things and i feel like sharing it but this is about eating disorders and bad experiences with a community so i'm putting it under read more so ppl dont read it by accident

so. i had an twitter i used with a pseudonym that wasn't linked to my main account so my friends wouldn't find it, and if they did they wouldn't know it was me, that i used to post about whatever i felt like i should post that would be seen by people with a similar kind of account (exclusively for edtwt, not their main) therefore even if my posts were retweeted or interacted with it would never leave that bubble

this allowed me to talk about things i couldn't talk to my friends or anyone, really, because eating disorders is a very sensitive topic and i didn't want to inconvenience my friends or accidentally say something that would be harmful

i curated my mutuals so i'd only interact with people with opinions similar to mine that were there to freely share their experiences in a neutral way, free of judgment, and blocked people who would post stuff encouraging others to "get worse" and said blatantly fatphobic things

in 2021 i became really physically ill because of many factors such as drug abuse and extreme "dieting" and my chronic illnesses, and it got to a point where i was SO bad i was in a hospital bed all day and night and couldn't even hold my head up and breathing hurt me and it fucked my body up so bad i was unable to walk for over a year even after i got much better (i still struggle with exercising and have low mobility because of it)

during that time i posted pictures of me to my then private edtwt account with very few followers i had handpicked (after my first acc got suspended i decided i'd keep my circle as small as possible) talking about how awful things were, and someone saved my pictures and later made one of those thinspo threads except it was "deathspo" instead.

the threads that went around went from thinspo to deathspo, with the former being the most socially accepted desirable conventionally attractive look. the mid point was called bonespo and is what most ppl aspired to look like: very underweight with bones showing through the skin but still aesthetically pleasing and considered normal.

and deathspo were pictures of people whose muscles were basically nonexistent and had what seemed to be zero fat in their body and most people agreed that it looked "gross" and made them uneasy, but the point of those threads was to motivate people to starve themselves as much as those people with deathspo bodies did.

when i saw my pictures in a deathspo thread i felt so unexplainably awful but i also felt like i had finally accomplished something i had been wanting for several years. at that point i was under constant medical care because i weighed under 30kg and my health was so absolutely decimated they couldn't even safely feed me vitamins because of something called refeeding syndrome and i was pretty much at risk of having heart failure at any moment. but i felt like maybe it had all been worth it because i got to my "ugw" and my mutual used my picture in a "look at these gross people, starve yourself like they did ^---^" inspirational post and then i realized how insane it is that that felt like a positive thing for me

i asked the person to take it down because i didnt want to be in someone's hidden folder in their gallery for years to come and inspire them to consciously destroy their health and well being, even if not to an extreme like i did and deactivated my account and started talking to my friends about my experiences instead and bubble, who also struggled with eds at the same time i did but never let it get that bad, said she'd do whatever it takes to get me to back to good health and we'd get over it together and we didn't need help from a community full of people who'll backstab you and cross every boundary you could set up for their own amusement + getting a few retweets

yk. when i first found out about edtwt back in 2020 i was really excited about having a place to connect with people who struggled with the same things i did and being able to share my experiences without risking judgment from people who don't understand it. but it turned out they were all just a bunch of fatphobic bullies with a bachelors degree in spreading misinformation

[baekuras]

the one super annoying thing about being sick is having to go to the doctor to get sick leave

like yay days off to waste away until you’re healthy again but also urgh having to drive to a doctor to get a note saying “yep they’re rly sick actually like for realsies and need x amount of days to chill until they’re healthy enough to work again”

like I can assure you myself that i need the rest of this week off to comfortably be up to near 100% again but noooo, i need to go out, try not to get snot on other ppl and get back ALL w/out feeling too shit so I dont throw up or fall over or whatever great