#when it’s alive
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lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)
if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.
--
no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.
I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.
I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.
If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.
#cw: suicidal ideation#cw: suicide#cw: self harm#cw: mental health#cw: depression#i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it#i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague#it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves#so. please dont#for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic#with the state of the world as it is#having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful#but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full#and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead#i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us#there is no fix-all#and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile#i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it#thank you for reading#and please stay alive#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
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#2d ago#If I Had Three Lives#by Sarah Russell#After “Melbourne” by the Whitlams#If I had three lives#I’d marry you in two.#The other? Perhaps that life over there#at Starbucks#sitting alone#writing -- a memoir#maybe a novel or this poem. No kids#probably#a small apartment with a view of the river#and books -- lots of books#and time to read.#Friends to laugh with#and a man sometimes#for a weekend#to remember what skin feels like#when it’s alive
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matching eye horror for u and ur back-from-the-dead bestie <333
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#nobara kugisaki#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk leaks#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk 267#NOBARA NATIONNNNNNNN#oh my god i MISSED HER she looks so good w how much gege's style has changed...#her hAIR her EYE#HUGE win fr women everywhere#first year trio pull through pull through pull through i BEG#i will b so happy. if my main 3 make it through alive#but i dare not hope i will simply let gege cook and in th meantime i will GRACIOUSLY eat my meal#we r so well fed i cannot believe shes back#N TH PANEL OF YUUJI WHEN HE REALIZES#THE RELIEF IN HIS EYES THE TEARS THE DISBELIEVING SMILE#I WANT TO HOLD HIM#NOBARA KUGISAKI THE WAY U BRIGHTEN THIS SERIES#LAST WEEK ITFS THIS WEEK NOBARA NEXT WEEK MEGUMI BACK FR I SEE THE VISION
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This isn’t Gregory and Cassie’s first meet in FNAF..
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#dave afton#evan afton#fnaf cassidy#fnaf cassie#gregory fnaf#roxanne wolf#Fredbear#security breach#fnaf 4#chat what if I cried?#LISTENNN I have a weak heart#the idea that Cassie/Gregory parallel Cassidy and David#I love the idea even if it’s doomed friendship#Cassidy alive moment too!!#I wanna believe so bad Dave and Cassidy were friends when they were living#I think that add sm to their story#I gotta draw all 4 of these guys more#I’m also super happy with how the lighting turned out 💜
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Angel of Grief
What inspired this image\/\/\/
#personally dont know if GUN would honor marias memory but im sure if Maria parents were still alive when that happened they would want#make a grave for her in her memory#forget me not#artists on tumblr#art#digital artist#small artist#shadow the hedgehog#shadow the ultimate lifeform#sonic fanart#sth#sonic the hedgehog#maria robotnik#angel of grief#gghosteArt#year of shadow#sonic x shadow generations spoilers#sonic fandom#sonic x shadow generations#maria robotnik fanart
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Tim: momma ain’t raise a quitter
Jason: well, actually, momma ain’t raise nobody
Tim: …
#neglectful parent jokes instead of orphan jokes#Tim to Bruce when he gets benched: is it because my parents are alive#batman#jason todd#batfam#Tim Drake#janet drake#jack drake#incorrect batfamily quotes#bruce wayne#robin#red robin
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i love lawyer game
#ace attorney#narumitsu#wrightworth#franziska von karma#and maya and trucy and larry#and also mayoimei + klapollo + miego + maggeygummy in that one pic <3#“i'm so sad. i have to focus on something that i liked when i was a kid. for comfort. to remember incorruptible joy. to feel alive again”#i say literally every week#and by god it helps. do not mock your lifelines. no matter how small + seemingly preposterous. give your inner child everything they wanted
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charm stat at debonair ‼️‼️
#WOW WHO WOULD HAVE FUCKING THOUGHT THEYD BE MY FAVORITES. THIS TOTALLY WASNT EXPECTED. NOT AT ALL.#i have lots of persona art its just uncolored dw#doing the shujin trio next i miss them so bad☹️☹️ also i need pegoryu content to stay sane and alive#anyway they're like. actually fucking insane 💀💀💀💀#like lawlight level toxic yaoi its so absurd#like i was like damn soukoku is intense WHO ARE THESE FREAKS#WHY THE FUCK ARE THEY LIKE THIS.#ACTUALLY FUCKING INSANE. LIKE EXTREMELY MENTAL AND SICK IN THE HEAD.#AKECHI IS A FUCKING PSYCHOPATH#god they actually make me so fucking AUAUAUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHH#i NEED to finish royal shidos palace GUTTED ME#they were initially so funny to me bc right off the bat you can tell how much of a FREAK akechi is just paraphrasing hegel#and being so ferevently obsessed with ren its like bro why is this guy straightup dickriding us for telling him we like our eggs well done#ANYWAY their dynamic always felt so sad to me bc it was akechi just desperately clawing for what ren had the entire time ☹️#and the more he realized how worthless he was in comparison the more mentally unhinged he became until he actually broke#me when the trope is “the love was there but it wasn't enough to save them” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 (FUCKING DEVASTATING)#ermmm anyway yea they're neat. ig#persona 5#persona 5 royal#p5#p5r#ren amamiya#akira kurusu#goro akechi#shuake#akeshu#lotus draws
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i keep seeing people say the doctor shouldn’t have feelings for rogue because he’s married to river…? river song… who has also married multiple people… one of the most polyamorous characters in the show…?
#i think the only issue river would have is that she wasn’t there to witness it#ngl#plus when has the doctor ever been strictly monogamous???#even when he was infatuated with rose he still had feelings for other people too#madame de pompadour anyone ??? hello?? 😭#and river’s been gone for multiple regens now… is the doctor meant to never have a relationship ever again or what#gonna be real i think if rogue was a woman i’d be seeing less Ummm He Has A Wife The Doctor Wouldn’t Cheat Like This takes#i really don’t think the doctor & river were ever strictly only with each other bro like they’ve always had a more open relationship anyway#🤷🏻���️🤷🏻♂️🤷🏻♂️#doctor who#15th doctor#rogue doctor who#river song#timerogue#dndoctor#yowzah#twiver#ehhh yeah.#y’know ????#also as people have mentioned she’s dead#i didn’t make that part of my post bc timey wimey whatever people still want her to return somehow#so if she *was* alive and the doctor wasn’t literally a widow… she’d have no problem with rogue 😭😭#keepin this post ambiguous for u river return truthers
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I decided Danny needed a fire core AU where the portal accident blew up the entire block, condemned all of Amity, and was left to haunt it for 100 years before Sam and Tuck find him 🥰 for enrichment
#danny phantom#no he does not realize he's technically still half alive#yes everyone he ever knew or loved is now dead!#yes this was a flimsy excuse to draw him with very long hair#and feral creature vibes#he's very sad but it's okay his hair is FABULOUS#he breathes smoke when he gets agitated :)#zilly art#fire core au
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America was literally built on violence, my dudes... Maybe clean house first before you throw stones?
#donald trump#trump#joe biden#us politics#Sort of asinine to say that violence has no place in America when the country was built on it#You think Stonewall was peaceful? That no one got hurt?#You think that cops are just spraying ketchup on BIPOC people for shits and giggles?#Violence is alive and well in America- and we all know where it's coming from#The shooter was a Republican.
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Bisexual crisis Crystal edition
#dead boy detectives#dbda#palasaki#palasaki week#it was supposed to be for the free day but i've completely lost the plot and I don't know if I'm on time#...or early#i know we all like to think crystal knows she likes girls#buuuut we saw her past. that is not an emotionally intelligent person#i think she was the kind of girl who put other girls down idk#i just think considering how she speaks for women so many times throughout the show#that it would be great character development#also charles figured it out decades ago#maybe even while he was alive#most of the time he crushes on girls though so you wouldn't know it#edwin probably doesn't know either i'm aware#but imagine if you will him reacting to this like "ugh#because he was there when Charles went through this journey and he did not care for it lol#whatever. niko you angel we all adore you#especially crystal... tho edwin might not like that#edwin: how dare you suggest you like niko more than i do?#preposterous
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Dc x Dp Prompt #6
“I’m a twin”, Damian said one night. He could feel the narrowed eyes of his family drilling holes on his back in disbelief. Not that he could blame them. Damian had never so much as implied being raised with a companion, much less a sibling.
“I had a brother”. Damian paused to recollect himself. He had not said his brother’s name out loud in over 8 years.
“His name was… Danyal”. Damian hated the way his voice wavered, but he could not help it. Danyal was everything to him, his other half. Their heart beat as one and when one heart stopped beating, the other one died with it. At least until his family put his heart on metaphorical life support without ever realizing.
“Where is he now?” His father asked, voice filled with knowing grief and a hint of betrayal. It had in fact been 6 years since Damian first showed up on his doorstep.
“Up there”. All eyes shifted towards the specific star he was pointing to. “Right before he died, he promised me he’d guide me from the stars. Unfortunately, the stars are not visible in Gotham, so my brother is unable to be of much help unless I leave the city.”
“Your brother is Polaris, the North Star?” Tim questioned warily, most likely in attempts to not offend him. Damian was aware of how stupid it sounded, but Danyal had promised, and his brother never broke his promises.
“Yes. Danyal is with the stars now, just as he always wanted”
#dc x dp#dp x dc#dpxdc fanfic#dc x dp prompt#dp x dc prompt#dc x dp crossover#dp x dc crossover#ghost king danny#demon twin au#danyal al ghul#batpham#they are not in Gotham at the time of this conversation#I’m thinking they’re visiting the Kent’s on their farm but tbh as long as the stars are visible it can be anywhere#Danny did in fact reincarnate as Polaris#sort of#Polaris is more of a title the Realms gave him the day he was crowned#he is the star meant to guide them through a new era#or something like that#But Damian does look up at the stars for guidance whenever he sees them#and before he knows it he’s accidentally begun praying to Danny#it’s his coping mechanism for being unable to speak about him to anyone#but back to Danny - he regained the memories of his time as Danyal Al Ghul when he died in that portal and became a halfa#well it was more he regained the memories of ALL his previous lives but his most recent one holds a special place in his heart#if only because he knows his brother is still alive on whatever earth he was born on#as bad as it sounds Danny can’t wait until he gets to reunite with Damian#he hopes Damian forgives him for not guiding him though#fun fact! Danny was once known as the god Dan-El in one of his previous lives#he’s ALSO the reincarnation of the Greek Titan Astraeus (and he’s pretty sure Dani is his daughter Astraea)#his previous lives are all so interesting (he still can’t believe he was raised an assassin or that he was a god in multiple lives)#but in all honesty it’s even weirder feeling so old and so young at the same time
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9 / 266
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#itadori yuuji#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk 266#fanart#jjk fanart#itafushi#jujutsu kaisen fanart#used th itfs tag bc its implied and this is an itfs piece i said so#i dont think ive seen this parallel made yet??? but its ok if it has#i just had the idea hit at gross o clock last night when i ws alr exhausted n had 2 force myself to sleep instead of drawing it#i just . clutches chest . YUUJI#th char development the emotional maturity..#the willingness to put aside his gojo voice personal feelings in favour of giving megumi agency over his own life#rather than burden him with expectations the way every1 has done fr both of them over the course of the series...#tears in my eyes thats my mc!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#anyway art notes i think lower one is some of the best yuuji hair ive drawn 2 date#it's kind of similar to one of my 265 redraws but i think i struck a better balance in how thoroughly i rendered it here#proud of my me but also SO grateful tht yuuji has not been fighting me lately#so much yuuji content these past chapters i cant imagine th frustration having to Also fight him in order 2 create content fr them#anyway itafushi kaisen is real and canon and alive and yuuji singlehandedly discovered th cure 2 my mental illness w this line
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day 15: haunting ♡
(femslashfeb prompt list)
#HALFWAY THROUGH??!#minifemslashfeb2024#ace attorney#lanamia#lana skye#mia fey#rotating them in my head#what if ghost mia DIDN'T agree with lana#I should add that my original concept for this was#that ghost mia is just a projection and lana is just imagining her spite post-mortem#as one does when they are not in a good state of mind#but I also think if mia genuinely disapproved of her actions... that would be so interesting#either way I think it should haunt lana#I just think that would be interesting#like what if mia asked about it when she was alive and investigating corruption#and lana deliberately lied to her#those kinds of regrets...#I love ghost stories...#me wanting mia to actually haunt the narrative...
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The bad sanses and (some of) their first times seeing the surface! ^^
(I kind I’d headcanon that not only has Killer (as sans) been to the surface quite a few times, but he’s also been traveling with Nightmare for quite a while haha. Nightmare… well, he always was able to see the sky so yeah haha)
#darkzyx#undertale au#undertale fandom#utmv#killer sans#utmv doodle#dust sans#horror sans#corrupted nightmare sans#nighmare sans#utmv bad sanses#bad sanses#nightmare gang#anyways I love them so much#think Killer was apathetic when he saw the sky for the first time in forever#and Nightmare took notice of it and asked him why#something about it being hard to get excited over something you had that was constantly ripped away from you#and Nightmare would listen to him and just tell him that there isn’t anyone in the multiverse#that would dare to take something from him or his subordinates#not on his watch#think Killer would start to feel a bit more alive/less apathetic after that#just a little
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