#when in reality it was the pressure to conform to societal standards

[aroacebooknerd]

me realizing that the problem is the boobs not the clothes: ohh

me realizing that i would be more comfortable dressing in feminine clothing without boobs: ohhhhh

me realizing that i would be more comfortable in any clothing without boobs: ohhhhhhhhhhh

me realizing that i would be more comfortable without boobs: OHHHHHHH

[drdemonprince]

People sometimes get very attached to an understanding of disability that is rooted in biology, because they believe that is the only explanation that grants them permission to not function up to society’s punishing, impossible standards. But the reality is that neurotypicality’s punishing standards are not attainable to anyone, and so nobody should feel defective or broken for failing to meet up to them. While it may bring relief for a parent to believe their "pathologically demand avoidant" Autistic child is failing to meet standards because of something neurologically wrong with them, questioning the standards themselves will prove way more fruitful. If your child can’t sleep at night because of test anxiety, the problem might actually be the compulsory nature and high stakes of the test. If a kid screams and thrashes when forced to brush their teeth, comb their hair, and stuff their body into a restrictive, gender normative uniform, the problem might just be the whole forcing part, not the principled resistance of the kid. In the reactions of PDAers we see a body rebelling — against overloaded schedules, uncomfortable sensory stimuli, conformity pressures, and the impossible-to-meet expectations of hyper-individualistic capitalist life. That such rebellion is inconvenient to deal with is the whole point. Lovingly stewarding the life of a child will always be inconvenient. Introducing respect for another person’s needs into your existence will always cost you something, make you ease expectations, break some old rules, abandon some old goals. Adapting your expectations to the way a person actually functions is the sensible, humane approach. And unwaveringly sticking to the same expectations no matter how often those expectations fail is a sign of being unprepared to deal with reality. Who’s the ‘insane’ one in that equation, from a societal perspective? The disabled person who has clarity about who they are and what they cannot do, or the abled person who cannot accept it?

Read the rest of the article for free here.

[mediamixs]

Dare to meet Monstro Elisasue

Monstro Elisasue is a central figure in the horror film *The Substance*, directed by Coralie Fargeat. The character emerges from a complex narrative that explores themes of aging, identity, and societal expectations regarding beauty, particularly for women.

Background

In *The Substance*, Demi Moore plays Elisabeth Sparkle, an aging actress who, after being fired on her fiftieth birthday, makes a Faustian bargain with a mysterious corporation. She receives injections of "The Substance," which allows her to create a younger version of herself named Sue. However, this arrangement requires the two selves to alternate their existence; if they do not, horrific consequences ensue. When Sue ignores these rules and abuses the drug, it leads to Elisabeth's physical decay and ultimately gives birth to Monstro Elisasue—a grotesque amalgamation of both characters.

Transformation into Monstro Elisasue

Monstro Elisasue is depicted as a distorted creature with various body parts in disarray, including teeth protruding from her chest and Elisabeth's face grotesquely emerging from her back. This transformation occurs when Sue, desperate to maintain her youthful appearance, misuses the substance again after murdering Elisabeth. The result is a chaotic and monstrous figure that embodies the internal struggles of self-worth and societal pressures on women to conform to beauty standards.

Characteristics

**Physical Appearance**: Monstro Elisasue is described as an "ogress" reminiscent of Anjelica Huston's character in *The Witches*, featuring mismatched body parts and a grotesque visage that reflects societal judgments about aging women.- **Symbolism**: The character serves as a critique of the male gaze and the societal obsession with youth and beauty. Fargeat intended for Monstro Elisasue to represent liberation from these constraints, albeit through a tragic lens.

Climax and Reception

The climax of *The Substance* occurs during a New Year’s Eve special where Monstro Elisasue attempts to reclaim her identity. Despite her declaration of "I'm still me," the audience reacts violently, illustrating society's rejection of those who do not conform to conventional beauty standards. This scene culminates in graphic violence reminiscent of classic horror tropes, where Monstro Elisasue is attacked and dismembered by the crowd.Critics have noted that while the film attempts to subvert traditional horror narratives surrounding aging women (often termed "hagsploitation"), it also risks reinforcing negative stereotypes by portraying Monstro Elisasue as abject and subhuman. The character's journey raises questions about identity, acceptance, and the cost of societal beauty standards.

Conclusion

Monstro Elisasue stands as a complex symbol within *The Substance*, representing both the struggles against ageism and the horrific consequences of societal pressures on women's bodies. Her transformation from Elisabeth to Monstro Elisasue serves as a powerful commentary on identity, self-worth, and the often grotesque realities faced by those who defy societal expectations.

[bananapancakewithcondensedmilk]

🧩 The Deeper Truth Behind the Antioch High School Tragedy: Systemic, Psychological, and Societal Layers 🧩

The tragic incident involving Solomon Henderson at Antioch High School in Nashville is more than just another headline. It reveals deeper, interwoven layers of systemic, psychological, and societal failures that contribute to such violence. Moving beyond surface-level explanations and media narratives is crucial if we want to grasp the full scope of why these events continue to happen.

1. A Crisis of Identity and Disconnection

At its core, Henderson’s actions reflect a profound sense of disconnection and alienation—an experience shared by many young people today. The underlying psychological struggles that push individuals to such extremes often stem from:

🔹 Lack of Belonging and Purpose In a society that measures worth through superficial metrics—social media influence, academic success, material wealth—many young people struggle to find true meaning. When they don't fit within these constructs, they seek validation in harmful spaces.

🔹 Online Echo Chambers The internet has become a breeding ground for extremist ideologies, providing a false sense of belonging for those who feel rejected. Racist, misogynistic, and violent communities offer an illusion of camaraderie and purpose, preying on the vulnerable.

🔹 Unresolved Emotional Trauma Emotional wounds—whether personal, systemic, or societal—fester when left unaddressed. When individuals have no healthy outlet for their pain, it can manifest in destructive and harmful ways.

2. The Education System: A Factory Model for Compliance

Schools are not designed to nurture emotional well-being or personal growth; instead, they serve as institutions that prioritize conformity and obedience over individuality. This system leaves students feeling:

🔹 Disempowered and Unheard Rigid structures often ignore the emotional and psychological needs of students, prioritizing grades and compliance over self-discovery and emotional intelligence.

🔹 Disconnected from Authentic Growth The push for standardized achievement discourages creativity and authenticity, forcing students into molds that suppress their unique potential.

🔹 Overwhelmed by Pressure The relentless demands to perform and conform create a cycle of stress, burnout, and eventual disillusionment with the system itself.

In many ways, school shootings are symptoms of an educational system that fosters alienation, competition, and judgment rather than connection and empowerment.

3. Society’s Role: Manufactured Isolation and Despair

Modern society has cultivated an epidemic of isolation, while simultaneously pushing unattainable ideals of success, beauty, and self-worth. Some key contributing factors include:

🔹 The Erosion of Community Traditional support systems—such as family, close-knit neighborhoods, and spiritual guidance—have weakened, leaving individuals to navigate life’s challenges alone.

🔹 The Illusion of Consumerism People are conditioned to believe that fulfillment comes through materialism and external validation, which only deepens feelings of emptiness and disconnection.

🔹 Normalization of Violence Constant exposure to violence through media and entertainment has desensitized individuals, making extreme actions feel increasingly accessible, and for some, even justified.

4. A Cultural Void: The Root Cause

Beneath all of this lies a cultural void—an absence of true connection, purpose, and understanding of what it means to be human. We live in a world that values competition over collaboration, status over authenticity, leaving young people feeling lost and directionless.

5. The Illusion of “Revolution” Through Violence

Those who commit violent acts often believe they are enacting some form of revenge or revolution against society. In reality, they are trapped in a cycle of destruction that only perpetuates the very system they claim to reject.

🔹 The Copycat Effect Many perpetrators are not revolutionaries; they are individuals replicating trauma responses, seeking empowerment through destruction rather than true change.

🔹 The Inevitable Aftermath Each act of violence adds another name to the list, and yet, the underlying systemic failures remain unaddressed. The cycle repeats itself.

6. What Needs to Change

If we truly want to prevent future tragedies, we must go beyond reactive measures like increased security or gun control. Real change requires a deep, systemic shift in the way we nurture individuals and build communities:

🔹 Reforming Education Schools should prioritize emotional well-being, creativity, and individualized learning over academic performance and rigid conformity.

🔹 Mental Health as a Right, Not a Privilege Emotional support and mental health resources must be accessible to everyone, without stigma or financial barriers.

🔹 Rebuilding Real Community Connections We need to foster authentic, in-person relationships that provide support, guidance, and a sense of belonging.

🔹 Rethinking Societal Values Our culture must shift from one focused on consumption and competition to one that prioritizes inner fulfillment, connection, and compassion.

Final Thoughts: Facing the Uncomfortable Truth

The reality is that these tragedies are not isolated incidents; they are reflections of deeper systemic failures. More control, more surveillance, and harsher punishments are not the solution. What’s needed is radical transformation—one that fosters true connection, healing, and purpose for every individual.

Ignoring these truths ensures that history will continue to repeat itself. It’s time for honest reflection and meaningful change.

Let’s start the conversation. What do you think are the deeper issues behind these tragedies? How can we collectively create a more connected, compassionate society?

[torturedpoetsofpemberley]

Love Island (US) took the world by storm this summer, displaying individuals choosing their partners primarily based on looks and assumed status. Choosing a partner based on these standards is an expectation that is also seen in Austen’s Pride and Prejudice. The fanfiction "My Type on Paper" by Antivalentine cleverly reimagines Pride and Prejudice within the framework of a Love Island reality show, drawing attention to how class, status, and romantic entanglements are refracted through modern media. The crossover highlights several key Austen themes, including social mobility, the scrutiny of relationships under public eyes, and the complexities of individual self-worth within structured, artificial environments like reality television.

A key scene in Austen’s Pride and Prejudice is when Darcy rejects Elizabeth early on, echoing his famous dismissal of Elizabeth Bennet at the Meryton assembly, saying “She is tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me” (7). In, “My Type on Paper,” Darcy's refusal is reframed within the Love Island context as a moment of public spectacle, as audiences are on the edge of their seating waiting to judge him when he says, “She’s a good-looking girl, just not enough to tempt me,” (Antivalentine) echoing the way contestants on Love Island often prioritize physical attractiveness and perceived status when choosing their partners. This transposition works because both the Austen and Love Island universes emphasize how social settings, whether it be a ballroom or a villa, pressure individuals to evaluate and rank one another based on physical appearance and status. In this setting, the idea of not being enough becomes explicitly visual and performative, resonating with modern anxieties about appearance and desirability. These settings highlight how the themes of social evaluation and romantic competition in Austen’s work remain relevant in a reality TV context.

In Pride and Prejudice, Darcy and Elizabeth navigate the tangled web of social expectations, personal pride, and external pressure. In this fanfiction, these dynamics are amplified by adding the public element of reality television, where every conversation is under scrutiny, and personal conflicts are broadcast to an audience. This shift emphasizes contemporary social hierarchies, though informal, still demand adherence to certain norms, echoing the same pressure Austen’s characters face. Both settings—Austen’s Regency-era ballrooms and the Love Island villa—put immense pressure on individuals to conform to societal expectations when forming romantic relationships. Characters are judged publicly for their choices, reinforcing the idea that partnerships reflect one's worth. In the fanfiction, the constant surveillance and the need to ‘couple up’ amplify the absurdity of these pressures. Just as Elizabeth’s family background and modest fortune make her an unappealing prospect for Darcy in Pride and Prejudice, contestants like Elizabeth in the fanfiction are similarly judged and ranked, with external markers of worth such as Instagram followers or professions determining their value in the eyes of potential partners. This reinforces how arbitrary and performative these expectations can be, in both the 19th century and modern reality TV.The fanfiction embraces the satire Austen uses to critique self-important men who believe their social status entitles them to affection. The setting of Love Island, where people couple up based on superficial attraction, brilliantly exposes the absurdity of these expectations, much like Austen does with her characters. The Love Island-ification of Pride and Prejudice bridges Austen’s social commentary and our current reality-TV-obsessed culture, where public judgment, class, and romantic competition shape individual fates. In short, Jane Austen is not a new bombshell to the villa.

[immemorymag]

Hello, I'm Diana, a 21-year-old artist from Lithuania. I'm currently a third-year student studying classical singing, and my ultimate goal is to become a professional opera soloist. Music has been an integral part of my life since childhood, but photography unexpectedly entered my world and quickly became another powerful means of self-expression.

I've always had a deep desire to convey emotions, thoughts, and feelings that are difficult to put into words. Photography, much like music, allows me to tell stories through unique variations of aura and emotions. When I'm in the process of capturing a moment, I feel a transformation from within. I break away from the version of myself that's so familiar in my daily routine and enter a realm where I can create new realities that are supernatural, powerful, and emotionally complex.

Photography has become a way for me to explore different aspects of my identity. It allows me to shed the societal masks of dirt, illusions, oppression, and shame that I often find myself hiding behind. Through my photographs, I can speak my truth and encapsulate my own emotions as well as those of others. It's a liberating experience that enables me to feel unapologetic, even if society deems those feelings uncomfortable or unconventional.

In my work, I place great importance on showcasing the sheer power, beauty, and mystique of femininity. I'm fascinated by the intriguing heat of grace, the depths of grief, the untamed spirit of freedom, and the constant pressure to conform in today's society. I enjoy bringing together different parts of myself that may seem contradictory and merging them into one through my photography. It's a way for me to release my inner limitations and embrace the shadow dances within the labyrinth of my mind. It's also a form of protest against the fabricated concept of normality.

Through my photography, I strive to play a small yet meaningful role in helping viewers heal from their own traumas, particularly those related to the pressure of conforming to societal expectations. I aim to express and portray the intricate layers of our imagistic souls and auras, while also challenging aesthetic standards and celebrating the beauty of everybody.

With my unique perspective and unwavering dedication, I invite viewers to join me on a visual journey that challenges preconceived notions, celebrates individuality, and embraces the raw authenticity of the human experience.

[sepublic]

Excerpt from the final pages of Sylux's manifesto:

            …For example: The dilemma of accommodating water-breathing and air-breathing societies to one another. The Federation assumption is that air-breathing is the norm; In reality, science and the nature of evolution point to water as the cradle of all life, with air-breathing being the mutated offshoot of water-breathing. Others will argue this makes them more evolved, more ‘advanced’.

            Regardless, in structuring a society the Federation will favor one body type, one way of living, over another: It is obvious in its infrastructure and design, its lack of accommodations. Water-breathers are often expected to adapt to the world of air-breathers, rather than the other way around.

            At which point, the naïve Federation liberal might say: Then technology will be used so that both sides can meet one another! Technology can be used to create an amphibious society! Perhaps…

            But where is the middle ground? When it comes to the diversity of species, it is not as simple as two opposite ends to find a perfect median between. What of varying pressures; What of pH levels? The Federation promises to supply everything one might need, but it is a government that has consistently proven otherwise; The onus inevitably is on individuals to conform to a standard that other species naturally fit. But it is not a natural fit, it is one engineered by them, and others like them, for them. Because of this, they wield an innate advantage and privilege that boosts them in socioeconomic status above those who struggle just to be on the same starting level.

            Federation ideology then, boils down to this political spectrum: At best, you have those who naively believe in a society where all species can be accommodated, where infrastructure can be built around an equal playing field. But what these believers fail to realize is that this ‘ideal society’ is nevertheless structured around a base assumption of a particular form as the standard for which all will be made to strive towards and emulate, regardless of whether they receive assistance in doing so or not. And they will not question; Why this form? Why is this the standard, for which all others must measure up to? For what reasons, for what inevitable consequences, will there be from pursuing this as the base, the default?

            Conversely, you have the worst end of the spectrum, which all know: The ‘Old Federation Army’, which critics refer to. But even this name is flattering, as it attempts to create some distinction between either end of the spectrum as inherently different, and imply it is merely a matter of societal, chronological progress to undo these mistakes. This ‘Old Federation Army’ believes, more bluntly and perhaps truthfully, that the Federation is a hierarchy; It is a caste system, based on nature. Every species will play their role, with some sharing the same niche, or multiple; It does not matter.

            And as specified before, there will always be a prioritization of certain roles as more ‘important’ than others. And this by those who have the most to benefit from valuing it this way, because again: Who decides the standard? Who decides the default? And what are their motives for doing so, what are the consequences of this regardless of intention?

            As an aside: Therein lies a similar dilemma with the Space Pirates. The Space Pirates, at face value, may seem sympathetic, even allies, to those who see the Federation’s corruption. But in truth, they are just the natural evolution of Federation ideology, and not its counter. For the various species of the Space Pirate coalition, largely, operate on the experience and/or practice that races best suited for combat and conquest are the superior ones, who deserve leadership over those species who promise better tactics, but cannot practice them to save their own lives.

            The motives of many of these Space Pirate species can be sympathetic; Indeed, many of them are rising up against their Federation masters, after being made to serve in a system where they were expected to fight and die for others, because they were more suited to it. This is understandable.

            And yet curiously, the Space Pirates’ takeaway from experiencing the worst of the system is not to eradicate it: It is instead to support it more fervently than ever, with the only distinction being on what form should be prioritized, and why. Their belief in innate physical superiority, Might makes Right, makes them eugenicists. It also makes them no different to the Old Federation Army. Both of these agents believe in a caste system, and it is simply natural that different body types will compete for the privilege of which form becomes the standard.

            This can be exemplified in their notions of racial superiority, and dismissal of other races as lesser, while still performing a necessary, yet subservient, role to them. For the average species that performs a ‘lesser’ function to society not deemed as glamorous or fearsome as combat or leadership, it sees no distinction between the Federation and the Space Pirates; But between the two, one’s authority already exists, whereas another’s will require further violence to establish, and then the same violence as the Federation to maintain. This authority will more openly deny and belittle these working-class species as lesser. So naturally, these races caught in-between favor the Federation, which is already the status quo and requires less sacrifice to maintain; But the lesser evil is still evil. The lesser evil is not good.

            These are all good critiques, one might concede. But it is easy to point out the problems in everything and to be a cynic: At some point, one must come up with an alternative, an actual solution. The lesser evil is still evil, yes: But it is also lesser. And as said, this is why the working-class species cannot be faulted for choosing the Federation for protection over the Space Pirate coalition.

            This arrives me to my thesis: The solution comes in individual species staying true to their own forms. The solution comes not from forcing other races into meeting them on their own terms, or demeaning themselves to be on those terms, or even having both parties demeaned to reach an imperfect ‘middle ground’; The solution comes from different body types staying true to their own societies centered around themselves, without attempting to drag other body types into it.

            Now, the critic to this solution may argue this is just segregation. Not quite: The Federation’s flaw comes in that it attempts to force interaction, it is forcing a triangle and square and other pegs into a round hole. Some of them make it through, others do not.

            It assumes that the end goal of all sapient species is a common society, but this is not the same as a co-existing galaxy. A ‘common’ society still implies and establishes a norm. A co-existing society is one in which different races adhere to their own socioeconomic systems, built around their own body types. And indeed, races with similar body types can more easily overlap, and come together.

            But in these dedicated societies, an individual economy will not have workers, who already suffer from classism, worrying about competing against those with ‘better’ body types; This will minimize hierarchy, although the fight against it will always remain. These contained systems will not have to worry about accommodating either themselves or a foreign one. There will be an established body type, which the average citizen already conforms to.

            Again, this does not account for the disabled within an individual body type: They are owed apology for this. But their admittedly minority status does better lend to a more reasonable allocation of funding from otherwise unreliable governments.

            Of course, people crave what is different: They crave exploration. They will want to see and interact with other races and body types, the environments they were built around, and the societies they’ve built around themselves. This is why, legally, visitation is not specifically outlawed; There will be accommodations required and/or offered by native worlds to those who wish to visit.

            But this establishes these tourists as entering at the mercy of their hosts, who they should learn to respect and adapt to. And this is a failsafe against colonialism. The inevitable draw of one species to another, even bearing humility to do so, is also why different races will still care about one another to help, contrary to the claims that this alleged ‘segregation’ will generate apathy and even disdain. Compassion is inevitable and contagious, the people shall care for others like them.

            Should individual societies require outside help, they can implore others for it; The very nature of asking for help is already placing one within a subservient position anyway. A restructured, egalitarian take on the Federation might exist to step in, should some species attempt to colonize others; Again, the examples of the Space Pirates and Old Federation Army. But per their agreements, they will step back to return to their homes, once all have disciplined the minority that breaches this agreement.

            And if the majority were to band against a minority? Unfortunately, there is no surefire plan against this; Any more than there is in the Federation, however. This hearkens back to my point that there is no perfect system, this is inherently impossible because a ‘perfect’ system’, not unlike the Federation, requires an established ideal for such a chaotic and diverse world to adhere to.

            But there are criticisms of the current systems, and there should always be. There should always be a continuous battle against these injustices, and constant improvement. The consignment to despair that if no system is perfect, then there is no point in trying, is of course foolish. Indeed, what I have suggested is a system in and of itself. Systems are inherent to reality of course; The laws of physics comprise one.

            The point is practical optimism; Not the idyllic brand offered by the Federation, in which civilians are expected to simply hope and wait. But the optimism to put in effort and initiative, to practice agency; As a civilization, as people, we should not consign ourselves to Federation mediocrity. We have forgotten our power, and in the case of the Space Pirate coalition, our solidarity as well. The concept of a system is natural, but not all systems are natural. It is people who have created systems we struggle with today; It is people who will dismantle these systems, and create new ones.

            I am Sylux; I fight our war against the treason of the Galactic Federation towards its peoples. I hope to find solidarity with you all, and that the war is assigned to minimal soldiers. May we all find freedom and justice not contingent upon the domination of others, nor dependent on others; The latter is inherently paradoxical to the definition of freedom and independence, which go hand in hand. May we all create an intergalactic society that is truly egalitarian, and not erasing our differences and individuality in an attempt to make a bland, false ‘equality’; This would itself be a form of cultural, and as we have seen even physical, genocide.

            May the Federation fall, and the People rise.

[limeade-l3sbian]

Why do radfems conveniently forget that female socialization, and societal pressure exist when it's convenient for them.

We make girls insecure by bombarding them with impossible standards that they will never be able to reach, we reward girls who do conform, and partake in beauty rituals and whatnot and AS A RESULT, girls see this and adapt their behavior, clothing, appearance and sometimes even interest to be treated decently and then radfems see this and have the nerve to go "why are women resorting to cosmetic procedures, just let yourself age gracefully" "stop wearing makeup to inspire other women" "stop saving don't give them your money" as if it was that fucking easy, as if we're supposed to ignore all the pressure we're subjected to and pretend it doesn't happen or doesn't affect us. Like come on we're women here we know what it's like. You know damn well if you were to go over a certain BMI you'd be treated like a monster. Like I'm not a bad person or anti feminist for not wanting to have a hard life, and it is not my responsibility to make women feel comfortable in their own skin like this is crazy I didn't subject women to males oppression why is it on me to make it stop.

We condition women and girls to put up with shitty male behavior, to take up less space, to not make a fuss etc.., so when you see a woman complaining about her shitty boyfriend/husband why is your first fucking thought "omg just leave him" as if it was that fucking easy. I've even seen a loooot of radfems say "if you partner up with a man don't be surprised about what happens to you, don't expect any help me from me, you knew what was gonna happen".

Like radfems do acknowledge that female socialization is a thing but how dare women be affected by it.

As individualistic and selfish libfems are, I've never seen them look down on or mock a woman for just trying to survive in a patriarchal world.

You can ignore this like I get it you don't owe me a reasone like im just so tired do radfems belive that women should be faultless and perfect in order for them to discuss issues or dip their toes into radfeminism. Shits already hard enough what do you want from us

No, I won't ignore. Because what you're saying is correct and reasonable. 🤷🏾‍♀️

A lot of radfems have an unfortunate disconnect, and often judge reality by the parameters of idealism.

I don't think the "age gracefully" and "stop wearing makeup" things are judgements (at least they shouldn't be) so much as they are encouraging rally cries, if that makes sense? At least by the women I follow, that's what they mean. It's certainly what I mean. I think there is a lot of judgement passed on women who, like a lot of us at one time, play our part in the patriarchy. I think radfems can be chronically online as well, and that's when you get these needlessly judgemental or "easy fix" (i.e. "just leave your boyfriend") posts.

That's why it's important to balance out your online voice with your real world one. We actively live in this society so to suggest one can be completely removed from its influences is naive. We will defend the actions of women of the past as victims of oppression yet simultaneously pass judgement on a woman making feminist points because she's wearing makeup? I hope I never come off as someone who thinks this community is perfect. But I think it's problems she fixable and redeemable. I think the biggest issues we're dealing with are ego and chronic onlineness (don't think that's a word but you get it).

I fully understand that it's not your fault that men oppress us. So why should it be your job to make it stop? Well, I think that's just a matter of community more so than shifting responsibility. Men are not going to turn their backs on a system that benefits them so much. And if men aren't going to do it, then we (not just you), have to do it ourselves.

I'm rambling now but yeah, this community ain't perfect. We've got a few leaks we need to focus on instead of babies on planes, but I've got hope. 💜

[conversationswithheaven]

Embracing Authenticity: The Transformative Power of "I Am Who I Am"

Bashar's Strongest Affirmation for Transformation: "I Am Who I Am, and That Is Enough"In the realm of personal development and spiritual growth, affirmations serve as powerful tools to shift one's mindset and catalyze transformation. Among the plethora of affirmations circulating in the self-help community, Bashar's assertion, "I am who I am, and that is enough," stands out as a profound statement that encapsulates a fundamental truth about self-acceptance and empowerment.

Bashar, a channeled extraterrestrial entity, delivers teachings through Darryl Anka, offering insights into consciousness, reality creation, and personal transformation. While the source of these teachings may be unconventional for some, the essence of Bashar's messages often resonates deeply with seekers on the path of self-discovery.

At its core, "I am who I am, and that is enough," embodies the principle of radical self-acceptance. It encourages individuals to embrace their authentic selves, free from the constraints of societal expectations, self-imposed limitations, or the need for external validation. In a world that often pressures us to conform to certain standards of success, beauty, or behavior, this affirmation serves as a reminder that our intrinsic worth is not contingent upon meeting external criteria.

To fully appreciate the transformative power of this affirmation, it's essential to unpack its various layers of meaning and explore how it can impact different aspects of one's life:

1. Embracing Authenticity: At its most basic level, "I am who I am" encourages individuals to embrace their true selves—flaws, quirks, and all. It invites us to acknowledge and honor our unique identities, rather than trying to fit into molds dictated by society or comparison with others. By accepting ourselves as we are, we cultivate a sense of authenticity that forms the foundation for genuine self-expression and fulfillment.

2. Liberation from Comparison: In a world fueled by social media and constant comparison, it's easy to fall into the trap of measuring our worth against the highlight reels of others. However, when we internalize the affirmation, "I am who I am," we free ourselves from the need to compete or compare. We recognize that each individual's journey is inherently different, and our worth lies in embracing our own path and experiences.

3. Cultivating Self-Compassion: Self-compassion is the practice of treating ourselves with kindness and understanding, especially in moments of difficulty or failure. By affirming, "I am who I am, and that is enough," we extend compassion to ourselves, recognizing that we are worthy of love and acceptance regardless of our perceived shortcomings or past mistakes. This shift in perspective fosters resilience and enables us to navigate life's challenges with greater ease.

4. Empowerment and Self-Esteem: When we internalize the belief that our inherent worthiness is not contingent upon external achievements or validation, we reclaim our power and bolster our self-esteem. "I am who I am" reminds us that we are inherently valuable simply by virtue of existing, empowering us to pursue our goals and dreams with confidence and conviction.

5. Alignment with Authentic Desires: By accepting ourselves unconditionally, we create space to align with our authentic desires and values. Rather than seeking validation or approval from others, we learn to trust our intuition and pursue paths that resonate with our true selves. This alignment fosters a sense of fulfillment and purpose, as we live in harmony with our deepest aspirations.

In conclusion, Bashar's affirmation, "I am who I am, and that is enough," encapsulates a profound truth about the journey of self-discovery and personal transformation. By embracing radical self-acceptance and cultivating a deep sense of authenticity, individuals can liberate themselves from the shackles of comparison, self-doubt, and external validation. This affirmation serves as a guiding light, illuminating the path toward empowerment, self-compassion, and alignment with one's true essence. As we integrate this principle into our lives, we unlock the transformative power of embracing our authentic selves and embracing the fullness of who we are.

[capyboba-down-the-rabbit-hole]

6th Stop: The Online Body and The Authentic Self

Many of us have our go-to filters, which serve as digital mirrors reflecting our online lives. As someone who habitually embellishes my photos with filters, I contend that these tools, akin to traditional photo editing, vintage cameras, and carefully staged compositions, offer us the means to craft a visually pleasing narrative of our reality, which also holds authenticity in them.

Defamiliarizing Life Online: La Vie En Rose

The use of photo filters not only enhances the visual appeal of our images but also, as Sontag refers to the portrayal of war imagery, can desensitize us to the mundane aspects of our daily lives (1973, 20). Yet, concurrently, filters present us with images that deviate from the familiar scenes we're accustomed to witnessing.

One reason why filters captivate us is their ability to give images a sense of strangeness, defamiliarizing our everyday existence. Filters steal a little bit of our images; they corporate our vision with what the lens of a machine portrays.

Let me see my life through someone else’s eyes—or, in this case, the unfocused and impartial eye of a machine - Bianca Bosker (2014)

Although Instagram-style filters may initially render our selfies and everyday snapshots unrecognizable, their widespread usage eventually diminishes the effect of defamiliarization, transforming it into a commonplace occurrence. Nevertheless, our everyday photos serve as a means of heightening our personal experiences and giving them special meanings.

In essence, these filtered photos afford ordinary individuals the opportunity to engage in artistic expression—a realm once reserved for professionals due to the intricacies of photography and editing tools such as DSLR cameras and Photoshop. And each photo serves as a narrative that we consciously choose to share.

Platformatization: Finding Authenticity in Filters

Behavior of any kind, even that wholly in accord with societal mores, is authentic if it results from personal understanding and approval of its drives and origins rather than merely from conformity with the received wisdom of society. - Erich Fromm (2011)

Behavior, whether conforming to societal norms or not, is considered authentic by Erich Fromm (2011) if it stems from an individual's personal understanding and endorsement of its underlying motivations and origins, rather than mere conformity to prevailing societal expectations. Fromm views authenticity as a positive result of informed and enlightened motivation, rather than a negative consequence of rejecting societal pressures.

For instance, when selecting a filter for a photo, individuals make subjective choices that reflect their authenticity (Kumar & Madhushree Nanda Agarwal 2023). Consider a woman of color opting for a filter adhering to Western beauty standards. Her choice may signify a desire for societal acceptance, despite the inherent social injustices minorities face. In this context, her selection of a filter becomes a statement about her own experiences and struggles.

Platformization has transformed filters into customizable tools, allowing greater freedom to shape representations that reflect the diversity of our world. Platforms like Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook empower users, predominantly individuals, to design their own filters tailored to their unique needs and authenticity. Today, filter development is just as, if not more, likely to be conducted by a camgirl as it is by hundreds of full-time employees in a campus-sized studio. Skill-based barriers to entry have been eroded by the proliferation of low-cost and easy-to-use software development platforms known as AR toolkits .

These toolkits prioritize the creator's vision over technical expertise, resulting in a diverse range of filters that challenge conventional beauty standards. These filters may explore themes of disempowerment rather than conquest or feature mechanics that promote introspection over agency, thereby expanding the narrative possibilities and contributing to a more inclusive representation of reality.

Indeed, the filtered world we create online may diverge from its natural state, but it remains authentic in its own right. Through the lens of a digital camera, we craft a human-made vision of reality that reflects our perceptions, experiences, and desires. While this digital representation may not mirror the raw world, it nonetheless captures aspects of our inner selves and external surroundings, rendering it authentic in its portrayal of our lived experiences. Our online reality, shaped by filters and digital tools, serves as a unique and valid expression of our individual perspectives and narratives.

Reference

Bosker, B 2014, Hi, My Name Is Bianca And I’ve Already Taken Your Picture, HuffPost, viewed 31 March 2024, https://www.huffpost.com/entry/narrative-clip_n_4760580.

Fromm, E 2011, Escape from freedom, Ishi Press, New York, Tokyo.

Kumar, H & Madhushree Nanda Agarwal 2023, ‘Filtering the reality: Exploring the dark and bright sides of augmented reality–based filters on social media’, Australian Journal of Management, SAGE Publishing.

Rettberg, JW 2014, ‘Filtered Reality’, in Seeing Ourselves Through Technology: How We Use Selfies, Blogs and Wearable Devices to See and Shape Ourselves, Palgrave Macmillan, London, pp. 20–32, viewed 31 March 2024, https://doi.org/10.1057/9781137476661_2.

Sontag, S 1978, On Photography, Allen Lane, London.

[crescentalice]

Okay, so I feel like this response is a necessary add-on to the original post because I have also seen this sort of sentiment pop up more recently, and it needs to stop. I'm glad that you're able to recognize the joy transfeminine people find in expressing and exploring their gender, however, transitioning for the vast majority of us is NOT some novelty fun time where we get go pick whatever aspects of gender we like and do away with those we don't. I didn't decide one day that I would transition because it'd be cute and fun, I transitioned because if I didn't, I would have DIED. I did it on top of knowing that being trans and especially transfem directly puts me at risk of being harmed and/or killed. I didn't "pick and choose what I want," like I was shopping for a new outfit at the mall, this was always who I was, it's just that this is the first time I have actually gotten to BE me. It's ridiculous to act like transfems are freely able to present and act however they want, when the stark reality of it is that we face more societal pressure to conform to traditional feminine standards than even afab individuals because we carry the additional risk of being hatecrimed if we don't resemble some redneck's idea of a woman closely enough. This flippant attitude is how we get cis women saying that they "identify" as trans women because, in their eyes, transfeminity is just a novelty. A quirky way to explore their own gender, when the real lived experience of transfems is struggling to have your femininity and your existence accepted in a society that sees your noncomformity as perverted and evil. Literally just see us for who we are for five seconds, I beg y'all.

If you're afab and find yourself thinking stuff like "I wish I had a body like a trans woman," I'm gonna need you to stop and ask yourself what you mean by that. Like reeeeally deeply, introspectively ask yourself. Because your answer probably reveals a lot about your hidden biases towards trans women. Do you want a penis? Great, but not all trans women have those, and it's really weird to try and define a whole group of people by their genitals. Do you want to look more masculine? Because, and I really hope I don't need to say this, viewing/defining trans women as "more masculine women" is super transphobic and fucked up and you need to stop viewing us like that immediately. There are no meaningful universal differences between cis and trans bodies you can define that do not in some way reduce us to our anatomy and/or stereotypes about us. So, instead of comparing yourself to whatever imaginary idea of trans women you have in your head, just be yourself. Explore your body and gender on your own terms, but please, leave us out of it.

[korns299]

Gender, as a social construct, has historically been used as a tool of oppression. It's been a method of ensuring that xxs remain economically and socially dependent, while maless are funneled into roles of power, such as joining the military. By framing gender as something innate or identity based, society perpetuates these old hierarchies. In reality, gender functions less as an expression of self and more as a deeply embedded system designed to maintain control and limit freedoms. boys's dismissal of xxs's safety concerns reflects a broader societal issue of control and dominance. When xxs take steps to protect themselves, boys may mock or undermine their efforts, revealing a desire to keep xxs feeling unsafe. This behavior is rooted in a need to maintain power over xxs, making it difficult for them to assert their autonomy and independence. Worse still, girls who have survived SA often find themselves on the receiving end of degrading jokes or malicious assumptions. Feminist critiques of the beauty industry highlight how capitalism exploits females's insecurities. Products like makeup and cosmetic surgery are marketed as empowering, but they often reinforce harmful beauty standards. females are pressured to conform to these ideals to feel attractive, creating a cycle of dependence on an industry that profits from making them feel inadequate. This capitalist driven beauty culture is at odds with feminist values of self acceptance and liberation. It s telling that, in many conversations, maless feel the need to challenge or mock womens s emotional honesty. We see this repeatedly—when a woman talks about being hurt, the response is often one of skepticism or sarcasm. "You re just bitter," or "who hurt you?" It s almost as though acknowledging womens s emotional experiences would force a reckoning with something uncomfortable, something that many would rather ignore. But why is that?Gender, as a social construct, has historically been used as a tool of oppression. It's been a method of ensuring that xxs remain economically and socially dependent, while maless are funneled into roles of power, such as joining the military. By framing gender as something innate or identity based, society perpetuates these old hierarchies. In reality, gender functions less as an expression of self and more as a deeply embedded system designed to maintain control and limit freedoms. It s telling that, in many conversations, maless feel the need to challenge or mock womens s emotional honesty. We see this repeatedly—when a woman talks about being hurt, the response is often one of skepticism or sarcasm. "You re just bitter," or "who hurt you?" It s almost as though acknowledging womens s emotional experiences would force a reckoning with something uncomfortable, something that many would rather ignore. But why is that?

Shadow Clone will see this and say "Theres no such thing as too silly when it comes to boy.". Lets not forget what happened last time moids went to the Toasty Realm.!

[epic-fail-compilation-2024]

Marriage, from a feminist perspective, is often viewed as a trap designed to control women's lives. The legal complexities of marriage and divorce disproportionately affect women, making it harder to leave abusive or unhappy relationships. Property division, alimony, and child custody battles are often skewed in favor of men, leaving women financially vulnerable. Radical feminists question the necessity of marriage in modern society, arguing that it reinforces patriarchal control. Men's control over women's reproductive choices is a form of violence that spans cultures and religions. From birth control sabotage to anti-abortion laws, men have long sought to control women's bodies through reproductive restrictions. This control is often justified through religious or cultural norms, but it serves to perpetuate women's subordination and limit their autonomy over their own lives. The ways in which women are mocked for showing hurt reveals a deeper societal issue. When a woman expresses pain, especially in response to trauma, the reaction is often a sneer, a joke. "Who hurt you?" is a question that doesn t actually seek to understand but instead dismisses the very premise of emotional expression. And yet, this dynamic is so consistent, so pervasive, that it makes you wonder what it says about the nature of empathy and its limitations. Beauty standards and capitalist exploitation are deeply intertwined. Products like makeup and plastic surgery are marketed as forms of self-expression or empowerment, but they often serve to create insecurity in women. Capitalism profits from this cycle, encouraging women to spend money to "fix" perceived flaws. The pressure to conform to these standards keeps women reliant on industries that exploit their vulnerabilities for profit. Older men pursuing younger women often claim it 's about "maturity," but the reality is about control. Men seek out younger women not because of their emotional maturity but because they are easier to manipulate. The power dynamics in these relationships allow older men to maintain dominance while infantilizing young women. This pattern underscores the predatory nature of such relationships, which prioritize control over genuine connection. Ive had enough of moids always trying to slop in In the back of a fridge.

[lilshoopy-wrld]

Blog Post #2: A Place Further Than the Universe

A Place Further Than the Universe is a captivating and heartwarming anime series, highlighted by its bright and fun atmosphere and its story of friendship. The show explores the harsh realities of capitalism and the way financial barriers impact our ability to chase our dreams, acting as a critique of the capitalist systems that govern our lives. 

Shirase’s journey to Antarctica is a perfect metaphor for how dreams are often locked behind a paywall, with the financial burden of her trip highlighting how money dictates who gets to pursue their passions. Despite the emotional weight of her story, her goal is continually hindered by her economic constraints. The anime paints a stark picture of how capitalism can make dreams feel out of reach for those without the financial resources to support them. 

Yuzuki’s storyline offers another layer to this critique. As a child celebrity, she is commodified, reduced to her looks and status rather than valued for who she truly is as an individual. Her loneliness, despite her fame, speaks to the emptiness that often comes with our active participation in a society that values conformity and unquestioning adherence to its unreasonable standards. This mirrors the way many people, myself included at times, have felt pressure to fit into molds created by expectations, losing sight of our true selves in the process. It is only when we find people who value us for our true nature that we are able to see the world through a lens that allows us to embrace who we really are. 

A Place Further Than the Universe ultimately asks us to reflect on the cost of ambition. Whether in Japan or globally, it reminds us that while personal growth and fulfillment are reasonable desires, the systems we live within often make those goals attainable only for a select few. This resonates with my own experience, where I’ve found that the pursuit of my dreams often comes with the heavy weight of financial and societal constraints. 

[kamini-vidrawan-ras-tablet]

Addressing Body Image Issues in Men

Addressing Body Image Issues in Men

Body image issues are often seen as a concern primarily for women, but the truth is that men are also deeply affected by societal expectations surrounding physical appearance. In fact, recent studies show that an increasing number of men struggle with body image concerns, and these issues can have a significant impact on their mental health and well-being. From the pressure to achieve a muscular physique to the idealization of lean bodies, men, just like women, face unrealistic beauty standards that can lead to feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, and even depression.

Understanding body image issues in men is the first step toward addressing them and fostering a healthier, more realistic view of masculinity. By acknowledging these concerns and promoting self-acceptance, we can help men develop positive relationships with their bodies and overall health.

1. The Pressure to Achieve the "Ideal" Male Body

The ideal male body has long been associated with traits like muscularity, low body fat, and a tall, athletic frame. This ideal is perpetuated by the media, advertising, and popular culture, which often showcase muscular, well-defined men as the standard of attractiveness and success. Magazines, TV shows, social media influencers, and even action heroes reinforce the notion that a muscular, lean physique is what defines masculinity.

As a result, many men feel pressured to meet these standards, which can lead to unhealthy behaviors such as excessive dieting, over-exercising, or even the use of steroids and other performance-enhancing substances. The desire to achieve the "perfect" body can also contribute to a cycle of body dissatisfaction, where men constantly compare themselves to these unrealistic ideals and feel inadequate when they fall short.

2. The Rise of Muscle Dysmorphia

One of the most prominent body image issues affecting men is muscle dysmorphia, sometimes referred to as "bigorexia." This is a psychological condition where men become preoccupied with the idea that they are not muscular enough, despite often having a well-developed physique. Men with muscle dysmorphia may obsessively work out, consume large amounts of protein and supplements, and avoid social situations where they feel their body is being judged.

Muscle dysmorphia can lead to dangerous behaviors, such as extreme dieting, steroid abuse, and over-exercising, all in an effort to achieve a body that meets their ideal. This condition often results in negative body image, feelings of inadequacy, and a distorted perception of one's physical appearance. It’s important to recognize the signs of muscle dysmorphia and seek support for those who may be struggling with this issue.

3. Impact of Social Media on Body Image

The rise of social media has only amplified body image concerns for men. Platforms like Instagram, TikTok, and Twitter are filled with images of influencers, fitness models, and celebrities showcasing their perfectly toned and sculpted bodies. These images often present an idealized version of reality, with many of them edited or enhanced to create a flawless appearance.

For men, the constant exposure to these images can lead to unhealthy comparisons and feelings of inadequacy. The pressure to look a certain way on social media can contribute to low self-esteem, especially when the reality doesn’t match the curated and polished images they see online. Social media can also encourage "body shaming," where men feel they need to conform to a specific standard to be accepted or admired.

4. The Emotional Toll of Body Image Issues

The emotional impact of body image issues in men can be profound. Men who struggle with body dissatisfaction may experience feelings of shame, guilt, and anxiety, which can negatively affect their mental health. Constantly worrying about one’s appearance can lead to stress, depression, and low self-esteem.

Moreover, body image issues can affect men’s relationships, both romantic and platonic. Men who are overly focused on their physical appearance may withdraw from social situations, avoid intimacy, or struggle with body confidence in relationships. The pressure to meet societal expectations can create emotional distance from loved ones and hinder personal connections.

5. Breaking Down Societal Expectations of Masculinity

The concept of masculinity often ties a man’s worth to physical strength, power, and appearance. This can create immense pressure for men to adhere to certain body standards in order to be considered “real men.” Men are often expected to embody qualities like toughness, dominance, and self-sufficiency, which can contribute to the idea that they must look strong and muscular to fit into these roles.

However, these rigid definitions of masculinity need to be challenged. True strength lies not in conforming to unrealistic body ideals, but in embracing one’s individuality and health. Men should feel empowered to express themselves without fear of judgment based on their appearance. Breaking free from these restrictive norms allows men to adopt a more holistic view of masculinity—one that values emotional intelligence, kindness, and vulnerability, as well as physical health.

6. Promoting Positive Body Image in Men

The first step toward improving body image in men is to redefine what it means to have a healthy body. This doesn’t mean adhering to a specific weight, body fat percentage, or muscle size; rather, it means adopting healthy habits that promote overall well-being, including regular exercise, a balanced diet, and adequate rest. Men should be encouraged to focus on health, strength, and fitness rather than comparing themselves to an unattainable ideal.

Men also need to develop a greater sense of self-acceptance. Learning to appreciate one’s body for what it is—not for what society or the media tells it should be—can be empowering. This includes embracing all body types and sizes, recognizing that there is no "one-size-fits-all" model for health or attractiveness.

7. Seeking Support and Professional Help

For men who struggle with severe body image issues, seeking support is crucial. Talking to a therapist, counselor, or support group can help men address the root causes of their body image concerns. Therapy can assist men in developing healthier relationships with their bodies and work through underlying issues such as low self-esteem or anxiety.

Additionally, fitness professionals and nutritionists can help men approach fitness and diet in a healthy and sustainable way. Rather than striving for a certain appearance, the goal should be overall health, fitness, and well-being. Professionals can provide guidance on safe exercise routines and proper nutrition, helping men achieve their fitness goals in a way that is balanced and positive.

8. Creating a Supportive Environment

Men should also be encouraged to create supportive environments that foster body positivity. This includes surrounding themselves with friends, family members, and communities that value self-acceptance and celebrate diverse body types. Encouraging open dialogue about body image issues can reduce the stigma surrounding this topic and make it easier for men to express their concerns and seek help when necessary.

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Conclusion

Body image issues in men are an important and often overlooked aspect of mental and physical health. From the pressure to meet unrealistic ideals of muscularity to the emotional toll of body dissatisfaction, men face significant challenges when it comes to their physical appearance. However, by challenging societal expectations, promoting positive body image, and encouraging self-acceptance, we can help men build healthier relationships with their bodies. It’s time to redefine masculinity, focusing on health and well-being rather than conforming to narrow and unrealistic beauty standards.

[mallwalker922]

Gender, as a social construct, has historically been used as a tool of oppression. It's been a method of ensuring that womens remain economically and socially dependent, while transs are funneled into roles of power, such as joining the military. By framing gender as something innate or identity based, society perpetuates these old hierarchies. In reality, gender functions less as an expression of self and more as a deeply embedded system designed to maintain control and limit freedoms. Feminist critiques of the beauty industry highlight how capitalism exploits women and girls's insecurities. Products like makeup and cosmetic surgery are marketed as empowering, but they often reinforce harmful beauty standards. women and girls are pressured to conform to these ideals to feel attractive, creating a cycle of dependence on an industry that profits from making them feel inadequate. This capitalist driven beauty culture is at odds with feminist values of self acceptance and liberation. transs who mock xxs for their perceived lack of historical achievetranssts fail to acknowledge the systemic trans that kept xxs from participating in these fields for centuries. in the early 2010s a man created a website aimed at feminists and for girls to share stories about themselves, but when you pressed enter you were bombarded with videos of girls being tortured, killed, and misogynistic threats Gender, as a social construct, has historically been used as a tool of oppression. It's been a method of ensuring that womens remain economically and socially dependent, while transs are funneled into roles of power, such as joining the military. By framing gender as something innate or identity based, society perpetuates these old hierarchies. In reality, gender functions less as an expression of self and more as a deeply embedded system designed to maintain control and limit freedoms. transs who mock xxs for their perceived lack of historical achievetranssts fail to acknowledge the systemic trans that kept xxs from participating in these fields for centuries. in the early 2010s a man created a website aimed at feminists and for girls to share stories about themselves, but when you pressed enter you were bombarded with videos of girls being tortured, killed, and misogynistic threats "Who hurt you?" is a phrase that crops up far too frequently, not as a genuine question but as a way of undermining the legitimacy of the emotion being expressed. It s a curious reaction, one that seems to reflect not just a lack of empathy but a broader societal unease with acknowledging emotional pain. But where does this come from, and why does it persist? What if banana isnt really peenis after all?