#when i was teenager i loved writing everything to be fucked up and sad

[jumalanpelko]

Me: ok guys THIS STORY IS A TRAGEDY. Do not get attached this WILL NOT END WELL

Me: *gets attached*

Me: fuck

(Its not a spoiler that it ends badly cause i dont want to suprise people with it life is already hard lmao YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SIGNING UP TO)

[seiwas]

₊˚⊹｡ do you believe in love? | gojo satoru

wc: 808

summary: you’re both 23 when you first ask gojo about love.

contains: written with f!reader in mind but no pronouns are mentioned, a bit of sad, there is a swear, kind of a will-they-won’t-they, alludes to some of gojo’s possible internal struggles, might feel a bit ooc? but i like to think gojo does have serious conversations once in a while 

a/n: the kind of gojo i envision in this is inspired by all the teen dad/dad gojo fics that i’ve ever read, most notably 'teen dad gojo' by @seravphs and 'keeping up with the fushiguros' by @/augustinewrites. this isn’t an addition to any of their works, but the way they write and characterise gojo has shaped the way i understand him (and ultimately how i write him) in these little blurbs of mine :’) please do check their works out if you have the time, it’s some of my favourites!! :’)

collection masterlist: conversations on love you are here -> 02. tell me about love (show me how)

“Do you believe in love?” 

You don’t think he hears you at first, but that’s impossible; the night is quiet, with only you and Gojo sitting by the steps of the dormitory entrance. His dangly long legs brush against yours, lingering barely. 

Since Suguru’s defection, Gojo’s gotten a lot more contemplative. He hides it a lot, especially with Megumi and Tsumiki around, but there are times that you catch him spacing out. There’s a far away look on his face and his demeanor completely shifts, rambunctiousness fading into something more restrained, if only in that moment. 

Other times, you’re let into that space with him, like now. 

“I do.” he replies, uncharacteristically succinct. He doesn’t even look at you when he says it. 

You weren’t expecting it, to be honest. With everything that’s happened to him so far, you were ready for a flat out cynical ‘no’. But—

“But,” he continues, “not for me.” 

There’s the ‘but’. 

He turns to look at you, eyes covered by the bandages he’s been opting for more recently. You’ve known Gojo since you were both 15, and somehow, you’ve gotten good at guessing what he’s always hiding. 

“You wanna tell me why?” you nudge. You figure this is good for him—or at least you hope it is. 

Getting Gojo to actually sit and have a real conversation with you has been increasingly difficult since Suguru disappeared. Taking in the Fushiguros, then the higher ups assigning him missions back-to-back-to-back—it’s been a lot. And you worry about him, if he’s even been able to sit down and process everything, if he’s even given himself the chance to feel for once. 

“Not really,” he shrugs, turning back to the garden in front of you. There isn’t much to discuss, it either fits in his life or doesn’t. When he’s meant for a purpose much larger than himself, small wants remain at just that: small, negligible. 

You huff, unable to hide your disappointment, “Okay.” 

But, you respect him and what he wants (or does not want) to say. 

As you stare out with him, Gojo eyes you from the side, the pout on your lips a teenage souvenir you still carry now at 23. He breaks into a small smile, the corners of his lips curving up slightly, fondly. 

“It’s just not meant for me, that’s all.” 

He doesn’t look at you when he says that, too. 

You slowly avert your gaze from the grass in front of you, focusing on him instead. His smile is still there, although it feels resigned, like he’s accepted this long ago. 

Gojo has never been meant to handle something so delicate and fragile—his divinity keeps him untouchable from such pure things. 

Still, you want to tell him that that’s not true. That you think love is meant for everyone, even in this fucked up, cursed world—especially in this fucked up, cursed world. 

You want to tell him that love is meant for him too. 

“Do you wish it were?”

He hums, arms stretching back as he leans on his wrists. His head dips back, looking at the sky. There’s a pause, then an exhale before he continues, “There’s no point thinking about it, I guess.” 

A non-answer. You take what you can get; it’s hard enough getting Gojo to be honest with you, much less talk about things like this. The night continues this way: you exchange anecdotes about your latest missions, then talk about Megumi’s most recent involvement in a school incident. Serious questions pop up here and there but you don’t push, and Gojo is willing to share what he can. 

.

.

.

You are 23 when you first ask Gojo if he believes in love, and he does, but what he doesn’t tell you is this: that he only believes it because he sees it in you—through the things you do, for Megumi and Tsumiki. For him too. 

There’s always been this unspoken thing between the two of you. He doesn’t know what to call it—never has, but it’s comfortable and safe, so he tries to keep it that way. 

Suguru has left an unpatchable hole inside of him that only you can seem to touch, softening the jaggedy edges so it doesn’t cut as deep. When he first showed up with Megumi and Tsumiki that one Friday night, you had all the questions in the world; he could see it, feel it in the furrow of your brows and the tapping of your foot. But instead, you asked this: “Have you guys eaten dinner yet?”

Gojo cannot afford love, not yet. Not when there’s still so much at risk, still so much to do. The cons significantly outweigh the pros on both ends, so this will have to do for now—this unspoken thing, that he hopes one day, he can finally call for what it really is.

comments, tags, and reblogs are greatly appreciated ♡

[s0urw00lf]

I don’t wanna live forever

Part two

Pairing: Dean Winchester x reader

Summary: Y/n is having a hard time coming to terms with her feelings for the guy she’s supposed to feel nothing more than a friendship with, so instead of confronting those feelings she runs away, which proves to be a mistake for her and him.

Warning: angst, heartbreak, fluff, sad angry Dean because he’s a warning in itself

An: this is my first Dean Winchester fic so i hope it lives up to your expectations. Also this is gonna be a two part series because i got carried away with setting up the plot for this. If you like this flick and the way i write i am taking requests for Sam, dean and cas so feel free to make some. Anywho love ya and i hope you enjoy.

Dean Winchester is the epitome of a girls dream guy. He’s smart, tall, and strong. Not to mention those pretty green eyes that scream ‘walking sex god’ or that cheeky ass smirk he wears when he knows he’s got a girl in his clutch. But thats not what made you fall for him, not the only reason at least. Dean Winchester has been your best friend since you both could walk. Being left to take care of Sammy while your mom and john were out hunting all through your childhood up really sealed your fate, you saw all of his most vulnerable moments and you knew those moments he needed you to break down those walls so he wouldn’t self destruct. But also you saw how much he loved, and how he fought for the people he loved, but he wouldn’t let anyone give that back to him. And thats why you loved him. Because you knew that just like him you’d do anything for him at any moments notice. You’d kill, you’d torture , you’d die If he needed.

So as you sat at a bar sipping on your martini watching dean flirt with the pretty curly headed bartender with a short skirt, your heart felt heavy within your chest and your stomach completely empty despite the large bowl of fries you were sharing with Sam. The feelings that surged through your body weren’t anger, or hatred. It was sadness and longing, knowing that even though you loved everything about that man, even though you knew him better than anyone else. Better than himself. He’d wouldn’t see you how you saw him, and no matter how much you hated it, you couldn’t hate him. Not one bit.

“Y’know if you sulk any harder people are gonna mistake you for a grounded teenager” an amused voice spoke from beside you. Your gaze broke from dean and turned to his brother, “shut up Sam” you said nudging his shoulder softly. A smile crossed the younger winchesters face, “he’s just looking for a distraction” he muttered to you, diverting his gaze over to his brother letting a frown overtake his features. Sam knew how utterly in love you and his brother were with each other, i mean anyone could see it. Except for some reason you two.

“Yeah well sleeping with a random person isn’t exactly what id call ‘a distraction’” you said bitterly, immediately feeling bad even though dean was nowhere around to hear. Sam shook his head at just how blind you were, “ i just don’t understand why he wont open up to us.” You said trying to keep your voice steady, stirring your drink around with your straw “He knows that we know how much loosing john is affecting him. Hell he’s not the only one fucking dealing. We all lost” she said trying not to let the tears forming in her eyes fall. Sam sighed “thats just how he is. It’s how he’s always been. The strong one” he said looking at his friend solemnly.

“Well it’s bullshit and he knows it” you said slamming your hands down on the table as you stood up. “Im going back to the motel” you muttered grabbing you coat from the back of your chair and trying to keep your tears at bay. Sam grabbed your wrist stopping you. “You want me to walk you?” He offered softly. “No it’s fine, i’m fine. I just need some time alone if thats okay” you said. Sam nodded letting go of your wrist, you gave him a hug and a kiss on the forehead, a habit you’d formed when he was only two years old. And with that you exited the bar, not sparing a look in deans direction. You couldn’t stomach it. What you missed was the longing and worried look dean sent you as he weakly excused himself, and made his way over to Sam and began his interrogation.

While you walked your brain was racked with all of these intense emotions. But the most prominent thought was how much it was killing you. Given you’d known that Dean wasn’t the relationship type, i mean the ratio of his hookups to relationships says enough in itself. But you’d grown up together, you knew how much dean craved to be held and loved by a woman, and you were hoping by chance he’d let it be you. But as the months turned into years and years turned into a decade, you were tired. Tired of loving someone who only thought of you as a friend. Tired of loving someone who would shamelessly flirt with other women in front of you, no matter how deeply in love you showed him you were.

By time you reached the motel you’d had your mind made up, you’d apologize to the boys later but you had to go. And you knew that if you told them in person Sam’s puppy dog eyes that always worked and deans broken expression would’ve coaxed you back in. So there you are packing your bags (not that you had much to pack) and hopping into a car you’d managed to break into and Hotwire and began your way to Bobby’s.

When you arrived at Bobby’s he was shocked to see you but ultimately let you in. “Y’look like shit” he greeted looking you up in down taking in your puffy eyes. You laughed “good to see you too”. Bobby looked behind you, curiosity etched into his face “where are the other two idjits?” He asked. Your once happy expression dropped, replaced by a guilty look and you avoided his eyes as best you could. Bobby took a step forward, now concerned “peanut where are the boys” he asked a little more demanding this time. Tears pooled your eyes for what felt like the 100th time that day. “I- i left them in Wyoming” your voice broke as tears began to cascade down your face. “I didn’t tell them, they would’ve convinced me not to go” you explained. Bobby stared at the girl not sure what to do about the girl he saw as a daughter crying so freely in front of him. “Why’d ya leave? Somethin’ happen?” He asked leading you to the couch and taking a seat himself.

You shook your head “no… no nothing happened. I just couldn’t watch it anymore.” You muttered playing with your fingers in your lap trying to put your feelings into words. Bobby watched intently, and he swore he could almost see the cloud of thoughts above your head. It took about five seconds for it to click. Dean. “S’this ‘bout dean?” He leaned forward. You hesitated, finally looking up to meet them and eyes before you nodded. “It was okay before, i mean I’ve had feelings for him since we were 14 so i learned to tune it out mostly. But as we get older its just go hard, i mean I’m 26 now and I’ve seen him during relationships and hookups and its not effected me until now.” You explained, Bobby didn’t say anything, knowing that if he said the wrong thing you’d probably run up to your designated room and act like the conversation never happened.

“i think because i realized just how far id go for him, and with the way things are heating up that flame seems to grow more and more every hunt. But he doesn’t see it, he doesn’t see the raw and utter devotion i hold for him. He doesn’t see how i run off every guy because i know they wont be like him. He doesn’t see how much it hurts me to see him happy with someone else, even if it’s just for a night. And it hurts Bobby, it hurts like hell to love someone who only sees you as his best friend that much” you finished. By that point the tears were streaming down your face and he could hear the heartbreak in your voice. Bobby stood up trying to keep his own tears at bay as he watched the young girl break down in front of him, he grabbed you by your wrist pulling you into a bone crushing hug as you sobbed into his shirt. The two of you stood like that until your sobs subsided, leaving you with sniffles every few seconds.

Bobby pulled away and grabbed your face “you are a smart, strong, beautiful young lady. And after all you’ve been through you deserve all the love in the world, and if dean can’t see that then he’s more of an idjit than i thought” he joked. A small laugh passed your lips and suddenly the need for sleep hit you like a ton of bricks. Bobby seemed to take notice because he sent you on your way upstairs to your room and you made no effort to fight sleep any longer.

just downstairs Bobby pulled out his phone that saw tht he had 14 missed callers from Sam and 27 from dean. He calculated how angry you’d be at him for making the decision he was about to but he’d deal with your anger over heartbreak any day. So he pressed the call back button and listened to the dial tone until deans voice replaced the noise

“Is she with you” he asked urgently, Bobby noted the sound of deans engine in the background as well as Sam asking if it was Bobby that called.

“Yeah she’s here, and you’d better have a damn good excuse for her showing up the way she did” Bobby said in an authoritative tone.

“I’m not 100% sure but i have a theory” dean replied with a distracted tone. “I don’t care what you do or don’t have. You get here and you fix it you understand boy?” “Yes sir” dean answered. Bobby then hung up, dean knew he was in deep shit if he couldn’t make things right with you

[asvterias]

𝖨𝗍 𝖠𝗅𝗅 𝖥𝖾𝗅𝗅 𝖣𝗈𝗐𝗇 ~ 𝖢𝗅𝖺𝗋𝗂𝗌𝗌𝖾 𝖫𝖺 𝖱𝗎𝖾

part two || chapter playlist (1) & chapter playlist (2) || clarisse masterlist

helping palestine 🇵🇸

warnings: the killing of a monster?, character death, crying, some blood mentions & stabbing (not inflicted against us!)

pairings: (both aged up to 16) clarisse la rue ✘ black!fem!demigod!reader (daughter of poseidon) | younger!brother percy jackson ✘ older!sister!reader

genres: sally & reader’s mom (jessica) are lovers bcs GENUINELY FUCK GABE (hate his ass), reader & grover has a sibling bond, hard cold angst, sad angsty beginning, reader’s mom actually dies 🥲, reader’s emotions control the weather, very sad!reader, kinda depressed!reader, reader in denial, MAJOR character death, reader is kinda a girlboss, kinda!dark!reader x always!clueless!percy, vengeful!reader, reader is OUT for blood (specifically the Minotaur)

summary: secrets are liable to make or break the jackson-matthews family until they result in dangerous situations, nearly escaping from death…well nearly most of them managed a safe recovery.

word count: 2.7k+

tag list: @lvrue @kyuupidwrites @xanasaurusrex @urdeadpoet @aurorailvsm @quinnsadilla @st4rzl7 @p0rkbun @star-girl69 @aphroditesmoon @lcvved @tinytea-biscut @dearlydarlings @nvirskies @rocknr0ll @urbisexualfriend @k4zuhas-visi0n @marlswhore @lovelyy-moonlight @thegiganticgirlkisser @thewritingbarbie @apocalypticlibrary @solecitoszn @mira-belcul18 @ampitrit3 @mthefae @sleighingstella @korizzybee @hoku-k @liv444me @lila-went-missing @mariposa555 @cherriesnbutter @justintinderlake4 @natasha-took-fall-damage @b0ok-lover @novastarrs @urfavefag @babyzzlove @importantpotato @laughingcheese037 @iheartamberfreeman @karslyn @haerinfrr @gianni7867 @jimfiqs @4evafvctional @lyzsaphrodite @f4riedimples

author’s note: i really enjoyed writing this ngl! also i have a faceclaim for reader’s mom, jessica matthews is portrayed by candice patton.

Born from the same father but different mothers, your sibling bond with Percy was unbreakable, certainly unconditional. Your mothers were very close, growing up as best friends from when they were teenagers, accomplishing every achievement together for the sake of you and Percy’s life.

Of course, your moms fell in love, hosting a small spring wedding when you were 10 and Percy was 6 years old.

So when Sally had to move again, your mom didn’t ask questions and instead packed your bags, placing them in the car and driving to the airport. A loving family of four was maintained by dark secrets that cost lives.

With everything going on, with the upbringing of your heritage, both of your mothers went through thick and thin. Developing from friends into lovers hardly changed anything, presumably their love maintained massively for themselves and shared children.

It was a rainy day, you and Percy had just been expelled from Yancy. Nancy bullied your brother so you reacted like how any big sister would and punched her before she flew into the nearby fountain, completely drenched in water. That little defense mechanism got both you and your little brother expelled from Yancy indefinitely as you two took a train back to your parents’ apartment.

You two apologized profusely to your moms, but they remained nonchalant, telling you two to pack a bag because you were visiting your residential cabin.

Something was wrong, extremely wrong and you felt it in your gut as soon as you stepped foot into the unkept cabin. From the moment your mom became sorrowful and honest, retelling the story of how she met your father, you knew something was up. Sadly, you just didn’t know that it’d be life-changing for you both.

Interrupted by rapid knocks on the cabin door made you jump a little in surprise and your mom, Sally, went to open the door. It was Percy’s bestfriend, Grover. He was soaked from the rain and began to blabber on to your moms, incoherently talking about revealing the big secret.

“Grover…” Percy speaks, waringly looking down at his friend’s lower body, or rather the lack thereof. Shockingly enough, his lower body wasn’t one of a human’s but one of the legs of an animal, specifically a goat.

“What?” Grover snapped, turning his head to the siblings, hitting his hoove against the wooden floor.

“Grover, why is there half a goat in your pants?”

“Did your mom fuck a goat or something?” The question had to be asked, but it yet remained to be answered.

Doubled in confusion when Grover, Percy’s best friend was also your satyr protector, dedicating to getting both of you at Camp Half-Blood safely. When your mothers’ actually revealed the truth about your father’s real identity, you were appalled, to say the least. You assumed he was a deadbeat and couldn’t care less about his kids, and you were absolutely right. Only now his identity expanded in further detail, making him out to be a god, one of the most powerful gods there ever was. Therefore making you and Percy, forbidden children in both worlds, are continually being hunted by monsters, who strive to see your demise.

“Do you believe this, Y/N?” Percy turns to you, mouth open in bewilderment.

“Right now, I don’t know what to believe anymore.” You truthfully spoke.

“Did you know I’m 24?” Grover asked you innocently.

You and Percy shared the same shocked expression, “Wait? What?”

Grover winces, staring back at the two adults in the car, “Out of curiosity, what exactly did you tell them?”

“We were getting there!” Your moms shouted simultaneously at Grover.

Grover nods his head, leaning back into the seat.

“Moonlight…listen to me.” your mom looks at you through the mirror as your gaze hesitantly meets hers. “You and Percy are forbidden children, monsters are going to attack you every day, this camp can protect you both.”

“Why can’t you and Sally come with us then?” you bargained with her, tears forming in your eyes. You couldn’t imagine, much less experience your life without your mother and Sally. The same women who nurtured you since you were babies and taught you everything you knew. You refused to give up on them, everything they did was to protect and love you, and now it was your turn.

Sally starts to talk, eyes stuck on the road, “We humans are not allowed there. Only demigods like you two.”

“But we don’t wanna leave you two.” Percy persisted.

“You’re our moms.”

“You’re gonna have to, that Minotaur isn’t gonna stop until he kills both of you.”

All of a sudden, a collision hit the car with enough brute force to send the car off the road and everything went black. It was all so quick, the collision, the swiveling of the car and landing on the side of the road, far from bypassers to rescue.

The rain pattering against the car turned into a heavy rainpour as everyone in the car, hanging upside down with the seat belt anchoring them, remained still, all unconscious.

After a while, the dulling pain in your head sharply woke you up, being the first to recover from the crash. Holding your head in pain as you slowly opened your eyes, feeling the blood trickle from your head, surveying your surroundings as you saw Percy and Grover still unconscious. Quickly unbuckling your seatbelt, you got out of your seat, repeating the same action to your younger brothers.

One by one, you carefully got everyone from the car as they began to wake up. A growl from the distance urges you to move faster as you help your other mom, Sally, get out of the damaged car.

Sally, Percy, and Grover were recovering, standing on their feet, checking for any injuries and your mom was the last one who needed rescuing.

“Mom…” you shake her but her body is motionless as the tears well up in your eyes.

You felt Sally’s arm pushing you back, sending you into Percy’s and Grover’s embrace as you nervously observed.

“Come on, come on, Jess…” Sally murmurs, kneeling down, searching for a pulse. “You gotta survive, we have children together, we can’t lose you right now.”

“Is she okay?” Percy chirps up, deciding to speak for you.

You found everything incomprehensible around you, your senses became deafening and a high-pitched ringing in your head matched the loud heart beating in your chest.

When Sally stayed silent, it only worsened your anxiety, “Mom, is she okay?!” Percy speaks again, adding some base in his voice yet his tone slightly wavers.

“She has a fading pulse…” Sally whispers, sparing a sad glance at you and quickly turning back to Jessica, “It’s decreasing rapidly,”

Dropping to the muddy slippery ground on your knees, tears quickly filling the brim of your eyes, threatening to fall as you moved closer to her.

“Mommy…” you cradle her face into your chest, saddened by her face, eyes closed as blood trickles down her forehead.

“We can revive her, right!” Your voice cracks, whipping your head to Sally, “Tell me we can revive her!”

“Y/N…” Sally sighs deeply, trying to contain her own tears. You turn around, looking down at your mother, resting on your lap, body motionless yet her face looks peaceful.

“No! We- I can save her. We can do heart-to-heart compressions,” you shake your head, starting to do heart-to-heart compressions. “Why isn’t she waking up? Mommy, this isn’t funny anymore now, you have to wake up and help us. Please I can’t do this without you, I can’t do this whole new demigod thing without you.” your voice was dry, as you leaned down, blowing air into her mouth, hoping for a miracle to occur.

You didn’t truly believe in miracles, but for your mother, you’d start believing it. Right now, you would do whatever it took to bring her back even if it meant wishing on the impossible.

“We didn’t do plenty of things yet, I wanted you and Sally to meet my first girlfriend, attend my graduation, be there when I move out and eventually get married, and get grandkids from Percy because we both know I’m not going through that torture.”

Your senses became intensely heightened, catching onto Grover’s whisper to Sally, ignoring him as you spoke up.

“I refuse to leave her alone, she isn’t dead, just having some problems waking up and getting a pulse back.” You were in extreme denial, “Come on, mum, you focus on her face, giving her air and I’ll do her chest,” you beckoned Sally forward.

“Sweetheart…she’s already….gone.”

“She’s my mom and Percy’s mom, your wife. She wasn’t supposed to die this early. If all you’re gonna do is stand there and be useless, don’t bother talking to me.” It wasn’t intentional to snap at your other mom, but your emotions were driving you crazy and brazen.

“You’re the sun to my moon, Mommy, I can’t shine when you’re not there with me.” You sobbed. Despite being physically exhausted, you weren’t giving up on trying to revive your mom, she would have never given up on you so you would stop trying until you had something, anything; a pulse, a gasp, her eyes shooting up. “Remember…” You weakly asked, holding onto the moon-shaped necklace on your neck, staring at your mom’s sun-shaped necklace.

The sky crackled with slight thunder as the rain poured down heavier. Finally understanding the meaning of your nickname, you sobbed desperately until the broken cracks of your voice gave out.

There was no sunshine without her moonlight, always them being in a pair, nothing without the other. Sadly, you lost your sunshine, darkening your moonlight to its deepest depths, harvesting it into something vengeful and heartless. Something that even scared you to a certain extent, like this was another new side flourishing because of the horrible circumstances.

“Hold up, is Y/N doing that?” Percy quietly asks Grover.

You rested your mom on the ground, ignoring the cold rainpour.

“She’s gone…” Sally cries, grabbing your arm and pushing you into her body for a hug. You cried into the hug, tightening your grip as your wails echoed throughout the forest. Maybe this was all a nightmare, where you’d wake up and relax in reality. This was the time that your mom needed to wake you up and reassure you that she was right there, staying with you and protecting you.

Your chest clenched against your rib cage, devastation wracked throughout your entire body as the tears relentlessly spilled out.

“But she- she can’t be gone!” You hiccup, eyes glossing over with fresh tears, feeling another arm snuggle around your side.

“I know, sweetheart. I’m so sorry,” she caressed your face.

“What kind of demigod I am, if I was blessed with all these supernatural powers, can’t even save my Mom from death? What kind of daughter am I to just stand by and watch her own mother die? I don’t want this demigod life anymore, please take it all away if it meant my mother is coming back, to me, to home.”

“Don’t you ever say that again, you did everything you could, your perseverance is one of your strongest qualities that Jessica adored very much. She wouldn’t want you to doubt yourself like this nor would I,” Sally reassures you, resting a thumb on your cheek, “Our beautiful daughter, she’s so proud of you, I want you to know that.”

Your eyes were puffy and red from tears as you listened to your mother’s words of encouragement and reassurance.

Much to your dismay, another loud roar broke the semi-family grievance, reminding them of the harsh reality.

“We have to go now!” Grover hastily urges.

“I’m not leaving my mom here like this,” you point to her figure on the ground.

“We won’t, I promise you, sweetie. I’ll give her a proper burial, but right now we have to go!” Her tone was urgent as she quickly scanned the dark forest with the illumination from the car light.

You hurriedly rushed towards your mother’s still figure on the muddy ground, leaning down.

“Goodbye, Mom,” you whisper hoarsely, kissing her forehead for the last time. You stared down at her neck, gazing at the sunlight necklace she wore and yanked it off, and shoved the meaningful jewelry into your back pocket. Your heart broke again, realizing she can’t respond back, despite being in extreme denial.

Unfortunately, that was the last time you saw your moms, one died in your arms and the other sacrificed herself for her children’s safety.

The pain and suffering became a dangerous mix of anger and hatred directed at the Minotaur.

Grover’s statements fall on deaf ears, partially drowned out by the heavy rainfall. “Y/N and Percy come on, we’re almost there.” you glance at your blonde brother who holds the same expression on his face. You were going to avenge your mothers, and you didn’t care if you died trying. This monster had already taken your worlds away, so you had nobody else to lose.

Grabbing the pen from your pocket, holding it out, and witnessing it transform into a golden sword at will.

The fight with the Minotaur was brutal and intense, alongside the heavy downpour of rain attempted to slow down the intensity of this fight. Despite double-teaming the monster, he resisted surrender, determined to win and kill you both. Surprisingly, you gained the agility to climb onto his back while Percy distracted him.

Somehow, you gained the ultimate advantage with the lighting sword in your hand and stabbed the monster in its eye, ignoring his roar of pain. If anything its pain only further encouraged you to continue.

Too full of adrenaline, you grab his two horns, gripping them and pulling them out with your utmost strength. A new sudden strength you just obtained. Gasping in shock was quickly outlived when your sword slipped out of your hand and dropped onto the muddy ground, disappearing from your eyesight. Stumbling onto his feet, inflicted by the pain, you groaned, gripping the monster by his rough skin as he attempted to shake you off.

“Percy the sword!” You yelled at him. Your brother throws the sword upwards as you catch the weapon.

You stab the monster in the neck, wincing at his loud screeches, but continue to stab his neck. Once the monster was deemed weak enough, you sliced the sword right through his neck, seizing the opportunity of successfully killing it.

This was all this stupid monster’s fault. If it hadn’t chased after you or slammed itself into the car, your mom would be alive. If it didn’t have such a bloodthirst for demigods, Sally, your mum would still be alive. Alive. Alive. Alive. You just wished your moms were alive, to see you mature into such a courageous daughter to avenge their deaths.

Soon enough, the monster staggered on its feet and its body began to disintegrate into black dust before your eyes.

“Y/N!” The voice becomes disoriented as you stumble on the ground, two arms catching you as you faint, everything fading away into a black abyss.

likes, comments and reblogs are highly appreciated!

© asvterias, 2024. please do not copy, repost, or translate any of my works onto any other platforms without my permission.

[justlemmeadoreyou]

grumpy!harry headcanons

(this is related to the mechanicrry series! i know i have to update it soon! i'm writing it rn and somehow this happened)

warnings: fluff!!!

he's never known love. he was good-looking since his teenage, so he always got easy sex. but never easy love.

his mum and his sister loved him, sure. but the warmth one feels when someone different loves them, everything cute and bubbly, he never knew that till he met you.

"sunshine" he liked to call you, because you lit up the room you went in. brought smiles to everyone's faces, and brightened their mood. opposed to the way he makes people feel: sad and fed up.

he didn't think he deserved love till he met you. he had been into bad stuff before, hurt people, and did irreversible damage. he made up his mind that he would never deserve even an ounce of affection

but you made him change that. made him feel warm, mushy, and giddy every time he saw you. made him wonder how to make you smile, because every time you did, it made butterflies erupt in his stomach.

made him wonder how you liked your coffee. cold or hot? what was the reason behind having so many different colors in your room when you could easily do just one? why would you greet people when you see them in the morning, just to start a stupid conversation? why would you care, if it's so easy to just not!

but he can't deny the way he would smile when you would greet him "good morning, harry" after waking up, first thing in the morning. the loose tee you had worn sliding down one shoulder, exposing your soft skin. your hair a tangled mess and eyes swollen from sleep. looking so fucking beautiful without even trying.

never knew why people kept so many possesions and memoirs, till he saved the baking paper of a muffin you had made him when you moved in as his roommate. your blue handkerchief that you gave him once, a sticky note you stuck on the fridge, a doodle art you made of him when he was screaming and cursing while playing a game with niall, the keychains you have given him to organize his keys, but he can't bring himself to use them because they're too precious: all these sit in a corner of his room and his heart, and he still wonders why he keeps those. even though he would kill anyone who tries to take them away from him.

♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡

taglist: @freedomfireflies @gurugirl @thechaoticjoy @styleslover-1994 @gem1712 @ellaorchard @bxbyysstuff @opheliaofficial07 @rafaaoli @tchlamqtsgf @the-mouse27 @indierockgirrl @vrittivsanghavi @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @drewrry @babyiamperfectforyou @me-undiscovered @tbsloneely @whoreonmondays @kathb59 @avalentina @kittenhere @speedywritingharrystylesjudge @mypolicemanharryyy @theendx888 @ladscarlett @whotfisade @youcan-nolonger-run @prettythingsworld @chesthairrry @becauseheartsgetbroken-hs @hisparentsgallerryy @storyschanging @selluequestrian

[norman-fucking-reedus]

Not really a sexual request but… thoughts on Daryl coming home upset? Like genuinely hurting over something or anxious about something. Personally I think Daryl would have some level of anxiety that every now and then can get bad so maybe something happens with that? Idk I just love your writing and wanna see your take on sad Daryl🫶🏻

UGHH I’ve been CRAVING some sad Daryl for a while I have this idea of Daryl having a mental break where he isolates himself from everyone because he has no clue how to properly communicate his feelings so instead he decides to stay in his own space and silently drown to death alone in his own thoughts.

Normalize holding adult men like babies because obviously thats what they are

I feel like lately my writing has been kinda bad?? 🧍🏾‍♀️Maybe this is just too short idk but something is OFF.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

It had been two weeks since Daryl locked himself and your heart in the basement.

He needed some space, that much was obvious, but the worrying started the first week when Daryl didn’t touch the plates of food you or Carol would leave outside the door. He never left the room, never made a sound either. If it weren’t for the years of a living in an apocalypse, you would’ve thought he was dead.

Daryl felt dead, his bone weighing heavy with emotion and anger he just didn’t know how to get out. Years of bottling up everything now seeped through his grimy skin, mind running two miles a minute as his hands fisted his greasy matting hair.

He almost felt like a teenager again, rotting away feeling sorry for himself in bed while internal screaming at himself because lord knows he couldn’t do it vocally. He pushed everyone away, he needed to. Nobody needed to see him like this. Nobody needed to deal with him like this. Nobody needed to help him like this.

Daryl knew you and Carol left food outside his door, but he felt like he didn’t deserve to eat. Didn’t deserve to drink. He didn’t wanna open the door one day and see one of you standing there with a pitiful look on your face. He didn’t need pity.

He also didn’t need the jarring sound of pounding at said door. “Go ‘way” He mumbled, but instead the door creaked open, softly shutting. Maybe he should learn how to use a lock.

“Daryl” You voice was soft against his burning ears, however he felt a twinge of anger surge through him. “Get out. Don’t need anythin” He pushed himself up, sitting on the edge of the bed and only glancing over at where you stood with your arms tightly folded. “It’s been weeks”

He knows. “So? Gonna be another weeks too, now leave” You stood firmly in place, not budging.

Daryl screamed at himself for trying to throw you out, you of all people. Only his internal monologue didn’t match the one coming out his mouth. “Dammit woman I told ya ta leave!”

You stared at him silently, taking a few steps towards him and not faltering when he stood up, merely inches from your face. “Don’ need ya in here feelin’ fuckin’ sorry makin’ me feel worse”

“Well if it makes you feel any shitter I feel sorry for you inside and outside the door” You shrugged up at him, looking at him with a more causal expression than anything. “Why are you pushing me away Dixon?” Daryl bared his teeth at the question, angry at himself cause he didn’t know why. “Why’re ya in here?”

“That’s not answering my question” You scoffed, and Daryl turned to frustrated kick the night stand. “I don’ hafta answer tha’ stupid fuckin’ question! Why can’ ya jus’ leave me tha’ fuck alone?” He began pacing around the room, trying to put distance between the two of you continued to stubbornly close it. “Because I give a shit? You don’t get to suffer in here alone because think you deseve it”

You shoved Daryl’s chest, and surprisingly he shoved back, tears burning hot in his eyes. “Why not?!”

Your face softened and you grabbed Daryl’s hands, holding them tightly in yours. “Fucking stop!” He tried pulling himself out your grip, shaking his head as more traitorous tears spilled. Daryl grunted as you pulled his arms towards you, causing him to stumble which gave you the opening to finally capture him in a tight hug. “Get offa me” He mumbled even as his body desperately melted against yours. “It’s okay sweetheart” You whispered the words and walked backwards, lying on the bed when the back of your knees hit the mattress.

“Ya shouldn’t- Ya shouldn’t see me like this” Daryl buried his face in the crook of your neck, feeling an unfamiliar lump form in his throat. He no longer felt anger, but saddness. He was sad, so sad that he didn’t know what do to other then straying away. His chest hurt, and he felt so vulnerable in your arms that he just exploded, body shaking as sobs racked through him. “I’m here now babyboy, it’s okay” You, quite literally, tangled your fingers into his hair, soothingly scratching the scalp as Daryl’s tears ran down your skin and soaked your shirt.

It hurt so bad yet felt so good to finally, finally let it all out.

You moved to sit up against the wall, bringing Daryl along with you and positioning him to lay across against your shoulder, brushing hair out his red as he sniffled. You wiped his tears with your hand, staring down lovingly at him as you stroked his cheek. “Tell me what's hurting you” You whispered, listening to his soft whimpers and snotty sniffles. Daryl leaned his head against you, eyes flickering up to meet yours as he searched your face. He felt so grateful to have someone like you, caring about someone like him.

“Jus’ everythin” He whispered back.

You kissed his forehead, letting your lips linger there. “Anything in particular?”

Daryl shook his head, soaking up every ounce of attention you gave him. Each tear was wiped away by soft fingers, followed by a gentle kiss.

For the first time, Daryl felt like a little kid, huddled up sweetly in your arms as you ran your hands across his back, slowly rocking his frail frame.

He cried harder than he ever has, muffling sobs into to the fabric of your shirt. You only stroked his hair and told him that it was all okay.

And he believed you.

Daryl could physically feel the love radiating off you, seeping through his clothes and filing his weakened body.

It was so peaceful in the room beside from Daryl’s sniffing, he felt like you were the only people left on earth. As he glanced up at you through clumped lashes, he wished that you were.

“M’sorry” He mumbled.

You quirked a bow. “For what?”

“Fer pushin’ you”

“Away or earlier?” Daryl shook his head slightly.

“Both” He responded.

You playfully rolled your eyes. “Ugh. I guess I forgive you”

Daryl cracked a small smile, one of his fidgety hands reaching for yours. His fingers were cold compared to yours.

“I love you” You whispered, squeezing his hand in yours.

He searched your face, eyes glassy as they once again filled up with tears. “I- I love ya too”

｡･:*:･ﾟ★｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★

[illya-roma]

DP X DC PROMPT- (Fic that I'd totally probably might write)

Jason had learned from being a Robin to being Red Hood to expect a lot of things, from fighting the deranged to expecting the unexpected like daina (WONDER WOMAN!) being mind controlled.

But he never expected this.

He usually doesn't come here to begin, not after- after it happened, but he does each time whenever the pits wants to remind hims of what he could have lost. (What he lost, how it hurt hurt hurt. How HE hurt them. He knows that even if they forgive him, they'll never trust him again. The pit laughs from behind)

But tonight, in front of him sat someone?something? what appears to be a teenager from 14 to 16, with red hair that flickers similar to a flame and skin too pale and ears too pointy.

But it?she? sat on one of the headstone with her eyes glazed, too deep in her own thoughts.

A series of bubbles cut her off. She proceeded to put the baby (that seemed completely human) on her shoulder and allowed him to burb. Then cocooned him in blankets and hummed him to sleep.

Right now, he isn't red hood (or Robin). And his gun may not affect her, that is if the child belongs to someone else. (Did the parents give them to her? Or is she related? Have any alarms of a breakout occur that a meta? experiments? escape?).

(He sounds like Bruce.)

"A penny for your thoughts?"

The girl had her eyes on the child, with a small sad smile and flickers of flaming hair. "Just..."

"Just wondering what my grave would have looked like."

He sucked a breath.

"That ones yours...right?"

The girl (child ghost holy fuck!) nodded her head to his own grave. "Y-yeah...it's mine."

"It's beautiful... And well cleaned...They must've cared a lot, mister Jason."

He never thought about that. A well taken grave describes a caring family wouldn't it? (They do care! How is it still clean though?)

"Yeah...but uh...um...What's up with the..the baby?" Is the baby alive?

"Oh...Noone will take care of my baby boy... So.. I had to come back..."

She pushed back a few strands of black hair with tender eyes and the lightest touch. As if he where the most fragile crystle.

Jason could see himself in the child. All loved to the point his own mother would give up everything just for him. Except it was Bruce, it was Bruce that took him in and loved him. Standing beside his bed during nightmares when he cried and taking away the monsters. Sitting with Alfred, cooking together and exchanging stories.

(His family loved him. His family loves him.)

"Would you like to fly with me?"

Robin made me magic

He keeps wiping his face while she put the baby in a safer position. "We can have a brawl for fun after I put little Danny in his bed a-" she stopped mid scentence when looking at him

He sputtered. " Is something wrong?"

With fear in her eyes she floated, creating distance between both of them. She shaked her head in disbelief.

"You...you died..."

He took a step farther, not wanting to scare them away.

"But..b-but your... nononono why do you look like that?!"

He wanted to ask like what, but she disappeared before his eyes. (Did she know he wasn't safe? That he hurt his family?)

...

Beep

"Hey Jaylad, is the pit be-

"B-Bruce"

"Jason, what's wrong? Are yo- what happend?"

"I'm sorry, I'm s-so sorry, I'm sorry! Dad I'm sor-"

"I'm coming, hang in there."

"Little Wing what's wrong?"

"Todd, who hurt you? Who should I kill?"

"Jason, back ups close. Breath with me, alright!"

(His family loves him)

(The pits were silenced)

_______________________________________

In an alternative universe the Fenton are still driving around and setting up traps, unfortunately Jazz is the one who removes them and got caught.

Since jazz is the one that doesn't wear hazmats and dany is still a baby (she makes sure is far from their experiments with ectoplasm), she becomes a ghost who decides that she doesn't want Danny to get hurt and takes him somewhere near a lot of ectoplasm.

Gotham: sweet baby girl, little baby harley.

Let the drama begin.

Chapter 2

[dearsnow]

I WOULD DO IT AGAIN

Part 1 || Part 2

- after the disastrous events of last night’s party, patrick comes back to dig out the truth (patrick verona x gn!reader, fluff, ⚠️ themes of alcohol / being drunk, this is the second part).

word count: 1457

a/n - it’s done!!!!! tysm to the people that read and enjoyed part one. i’m planning to write for patrick more, so stick around if you want to :) once again, this is inspired by the vibes of francesca by hozier

You wake to dappled sunlight filtering through your dust-speckled blinds. Your eyes flutter closed again as the gentle caresses of the morning are giving you a splitting headache- that, or the sheer amount of alcohol you downed last night. You move to pull the covers over your head, but your sheets are stuck on the corner of your bed. You just slip down further instead, groaning at the needling pains attacking your forehead.

When you try to think of the events of last night, past the time you spent dancing to the beat of pulsing strobe lights, very little comes to mind. Even the dancing is blurry. A warm voice, maybe, and the cold night air. The stars, spinning. Everything being blurry and broken and tinged with blue. God, your head hurts. You put your hand on your forehead, trying to soothe the ache.

When your front door opens, breaking your early-morning silence, you curse the god that sent your parents home so early. You will never know peace today.

Your door creaks open, and you snuggle down under your covers until your feet are almost hanging off the bed. You can’t let them know you’ve been out drinking. You hope they just think you’re being a moody teenager, too chronically tired to wake up earlier than 10:00 AM.

“You up?” The voice is rich, deep, and lightly accented. It’s definitely not your parents.

You shuffle up, poking your head out of your mess of blankets. You wince as your headache spits more of its fire.

“Pat?” Your throat is dry, and it’s reflected in your words. They come out scratchy and hoarse, and you wrinkle your nose at how pathetic you must look and sound. Does he know what happened when you got wasted?

Like he can read your mind, he closes the door and sits down on your bed. “You were pretty fucking wild last night. Got me worried.”

“You? Worried? About me?” You laugh, voice still on the rocks. “Usually it’s the other way around.”

Patrick smiles, but there’s something sad laced between his teeth. It shows through his eyes, how his dark brown irises look at you like a mourning dog. You sit up.

“What even happened at the party?” You ask. “I don’t even remember you being there.” You must’ve done something horrific to make him look like that. Did you flip off a police officer or scream at him?

Usually, you’re put together. A model citizen, even. Usually, you’re the one influencing him to be better. Usually, usually. Last night was definitely not a usual night.

His smile disappears from his lips, and a worried frown replaces it. He knows he has to bring it up. He debated it over and over in his head at home. Even on the trip to your house he was still trying to decide if he should tell you or not. He knows, though, that if he was the one drunk out of his mind, you would tell him the truth. You wouldn’t keep it from him. Besides, the burn inside him aches to know if what you said was true. “You said something stupid.” He mutters.

You internally punch yourself but groan out loud. You knew it. Why did you ever let yourself get that drunk? You should’ve just stayed home.

“What did I say?”

“You said…” He looks away, and you can’t help but notice how he keeps avoiding eye contact. “You said you loved me.”

That kickstarts your heart. Now your chest is pounding and you can hear the ringing in your head. You can feel the pulsing heat, the burn that comes with this.

“I know you didn’t mean it. People do stupid shit when they’re drunk. Don’t worry about it.” He says gruffly. He moves to stand up, but in a you grab his hand after a brief moment of hesitation.

You do love him. So, so much. “I wasn’t lying.” You whisper, and his eyes widen the slightest bit.

For a minute, you remember that this was exactly how he looked last night. Curls wild, the smell of smoke clinging to his body. And you love him just as fiercely now as you did then.

“You don’t regret it?” His voice shakes a little at the end of his sentence.

You’re panicking now. You’ve never done anything like this before, and today was not the day you were planning on starting. Every single possibility is racing through your mind, and you feel like you might throw up, but you have to tell the truth. You’ve gotten this far already- it would be cruel to leave your best friend hanging.

“I would do it again. Sober, I mean. I love you.”

You stare up at him, and he stares back at you. His eyes are broken like shattered glass, and when he sees you in his cracked lenses, the tears beginning to well up in your eyes could almost be glue.

It’s true. You actually love him, and it wasn’t just a stupid drunken confession. You didn’t latch on to the first friendly face you saw. You love him, of all people. Him. Patrick.

“You do?” His voice is quiet and just a little hoarse. His mind is reeling. Your words play like a mantra in his head, repeating over and over until the word “love” sounds like a made-up sound meant to rhyme with “dove” in a children’s novel. “Why?”

He isn’t deserving of it, he thinks. He could never deserve a love as great, as gentle, as beautiful as yours. He always assumed he would love in hellfire and smashed plates. Never once did he consider that you loved him back, and that he could have someone as good as the person staring back at him with messy hair and soft eyes.

You tilt your head. Why? He should know why by now. “I mean, what isn’t to love? You say it all the time.” He looks terrified and elated all at once.

“Well, yeah, but why?” He moves closer to you, his weight causing your bed to dip. The sheets wrinkle under his touch and the sunlight is bleeding through his hair. You have never seen anything more beautiful before.

“I love you because you’re funny. Not just in the class clown way, but you’re really genuinely funny. You always make me laugh every time I’m having a bad day. And you’re caring and strong and supportive. I mean, I’m pretty sure you were the one that took me home last night. You care about everyone a lot more than you seem to think. You’re talented, too, and really smart.” He snorts at that, and you add on. “Yeah, I know, you skip classes and stuff but you catch onto things quickly. And you’re good at figuring out how to work my appliances, which can come in handy.” You take a breath. “What I’m trying to say, Pat, is that I really do like you. In a serious, genuine, love-filled way.”

You feel the ramble lifting an incredible weight off your shoulders. You got it out, after so long of loving the boy that grew to be your best friend. It’s done. Even if he doesn’t love you back, at least you’re not carrying this intense, heartbreaking burden.

Patrick opens his mouth slightly, then closes it as he thinks about his words.

“That’s good.”

You feel it all coming back down to crush you.

“Good?”

“Yeah, good. ‘Cuz I love you too.”

And suddenly, you’re flying. It barely feels real, and you smile harder than you ever have in your entire life. “You do?”

You feel his rough hands come up to settle on your face, and you relish the warmth. He’s so close you can feel his breath fanning over your nose.

“Of course I do. You’re a catch.” He says. You laugh, he smiles, and he leans in further. You feel his slightly chapped lips on yours, and suddenly, nothing else in the world has any significance.

It’s gentle and soft, despite his rough edges. You can feel his curls tickling your chin, and he smiles into the kiss. When he pulls away, you’re left with the tingling sensation of touch and a heart that’s beating a mile a minute.

“I liked that.” You grin, breathless and wild. His cheeks are flushed.

“You better get used to it, then. There’s more where ‘that’ came from.” His thumb draws circles on your cheek.

He dips to the side, tilting his head to whisper something into your ear.

“Unless, of course, you actually do regret it.”

The corners of your mouth lift up involuntarily as you whisper something into his.

“Like I said, I would do it again.”

[the-dumpster-fire-of-life]

It is angst hours, a little idea for a little sad chaos in my DR entered my head - Feel free to decline to write by the way! It is very specific and not everyone likes to write about these themes either way 💕

This would be Bill-centric, maybe before he’s in a relationship with the reader that is also a member of the band. Their world tours took huge turns on them, I mean, Bill had literal surgery for his vocal chords and they were all very exhausted. What if, after a show that was not very smooth for the reader as she was feeling very lightheaded with the lights and noise so she misses a couple notes, reader collapses from exhaustion or malnutrition when getting off the stage (let’s be honest the kids were running on 2hrs of sleep, energy drinks, alcohol and adrenaline). How would he react and act on this but most importantly, being by reader’s side as she recovers. Maybe you could imply that the reader was also there for him when he had his surgery :)

Have a great day btw 💖💖

(I should script this into my Dr, dam. But anyways, Hi and thank you for requesting and I hope you enjoy and have a wonderful day! Here ya go!)

Bill Kaulitz x Exhausted!Reader

Sometimes you and Bill were just straight out tired

You never knew how tiring being famous could be

When you were young you dreamed of being on stage, being famous and everything that came with it

Until you actually did

Sometimes, you could compare it to hell

You never regretted getting famous with their friends and boyfriend, but you hated the downsides that came with it

You had no privacy, interviewers asked personal questions, you were followed, you had pictures and videos taken of you every second of every day

You sometimes got no sleep, rarely getting a few hours

Ever since it all began tours took everything, you had interviews and you had photoshoots

You and Bill relied on each other a bunch, but even sneaking away was hard and sleeping was always interrupted by something more "important"

Your relationship wasn't even something just between you and Bill

You tried so hard, but you guys were always under a microscope and hounded with rumors

And you guys were only teenagers

You barely saw family, friends, couldn't even go to your own parents house without being followed or stalked

Sometimes you forgot to eat or drink, stressing over shows and little details so much Bill even got worried for you

It got so much worse when Bill had surgery on his vocal cords because of singing non-stop at shows

It really showed how much cons and pros came with being famous, sometimes you wished you could just have a single day with just you and Bill

But you couldn't even get that, not even in the hospital when he was trying to get better

So, safe to say you were all fucking tired

You ran on energy drinks, caffeine and adrenaline all the time and sometimes two hours of sleep, maybe three

So many things were going on at once, and shows were never easy, but one was worse than the others

You were light headed and dizzy on stage, the bright lights and loud music you usually loved was messing everything in your mind up and you felt like you were gonna throw up and pass out

You missed a couple notes, which you never did, and Bill immediately noticed

He got worried when he saw how out of it you looked

You were sweaty, staring around and your eyes looked barely open

Bill got concerned and the concert took a little break when you looked like you were about to gag

Bill somehow made his way beside you, which you barely noticed

Bill put his hand around your waist and immediately you stumbled

He caught you the best he could, shooting Tom, Gustav and Georg looks before he helped you off backstage

Right when you guys got off, he stumbled when you actually closed your eyes and passed out

"Oh, shit. (Name)?!"

He was shaking you, hearing you mumble in his arms as he was freaking out a bit but trying to remain calm

He called for help and got you back to y'all's dressing room as the guys got off quickly, seeing their friend legit on the ground

What Bill figured out from staff and your mumbling was that you were exhausted, staff hadn't even seen you eat for a bit and as guilty as he felt, neither did Bill, or Gutav, or Georg, or Tom

Bill felt like shit and stayed in the dressing room with you,

You were sitting on his lap, Bill holding you asleep as he tried to make sure you were okay

He was worried as shit and felt guilty

You noticed when he was getting sick but he didn't notice how you were being eaten alive by exhaustion and stress

He was too, but that wasn't an excuse

He stayed with you the entire time, never leaving your side

"It's okay, it's okay."

You couldn't hear anything but Bill's voice as he held you, you exhausted form sitting between his legs with his arms around you.

"I'm fucking tired, Bill." You shook your head, wiping away the angry and frustrated tears as Bill rested his chin on your head, kissing the top of your head to try and comfort you.

"I know, I know." Bill whispered back, feeling the way out gripped onto his arms and let the tears fall as you were held to his chest.

"I can't go back out." You mumbled out through your tired sobs, your body not letting you do anything else but he held.

"I know, you don't have too." Bill shook his head, running his hand over your hair as he pulled back to look at you.

"It's over. You don't have to do anything." Bill comforted you, his face closer to yours as you wiped your eyes, the anger and the exhaustion all from the months before coming out.

You shook your head, sniffling as you tried to push him towards the door softly.

"You can, you don't have to stay. Go have fun, I'll be okay." You tried to convince Bill, the Kaulitz boy shook his head as he gently grabbed your wrists.

"I'm not going back out there without you, I'm not leaving you." Bill calmly denied, interrupting you as you started to argue back.

"I'm exhausted too. You stayed with me when I wasn't too hot," Bill tried to smile for you, wiping away your tears with his thumbs, cupping your cheek.

"It's my turn to take care of you now." Bill stated, seeing the way you stayed silent but the way your body began to shake a little more, Bill knew he wasn't leaving for anything.

"It's okay, it's over now." Bill whispered into your ear, kissing your temple as he heard another son rack through your form.

Bill knew you as the strongest person he knew, but now you needed him like he needed you when he had his own surgery.

And the way you now wrapped your arms around his neck, he pulled you onto his lap, holding you as you clung to him as an exhausted teen.

Because that's what you were, a teenager with too much on their plate.

So Bill let you hold your arms around his neck, gently sitting on the ground with you and whispering nothing but apologies and comforting words in your ear.

Bill wouldn't leave you, not even when you said you were okay, and now you needed him like he would always need you.

[onehundredandeleventropicalfish]

so i keep referencing the What Broke Delirium essay i plan to write but never actually writing it, so let's dig into that one!

because. sandman does not spoonfeed information. neil gaiman even said this in regards to the tv show, most shows are written these days under the assumption that audiences aren't really paying attention and need things spelled out for them - but sandman is not one of those shows. you gotta notice everything to get the full story

which honestly i love in many ways because it's part of why i'm never gonna run out of sandman essays to write - every time i reread the comics or rewatch the show i catch something new

and this is one of the first hidden bits of info i caught - remember this spread from overture?

it's a fucking gorgeous page and one of my favourite in the entire sandman run, both for the pretty art and the content itself (i love delirium SO much)

but let's just zoom in on the center of those flowers for a sec

because there's tiny tiny text written inside them

(for anyone who can't parse that, the first says "delight was sad", the second says "delight went mad")

now i've mentioned in many of my posts before that the endless all struggle to experience their own aspect, they are that thing, it exists for the most part out of their reach, and that causes problems for all of them

but i usually leave delirium out of these explanations

and that's because, for whatever reason, delirium is the opposite. and delight was too. i don't know what it is that makes her different, but while her older siblings all seem to be barred from their own domain by nature (or have to go to great lengths to experience it), del is too much of it. she's utterly absorbed by it. and while i think she's learned over the centuries how to be a bit more flexible (she understands the coins have two sides thing better than any of them, and can be lucid when she needs to), she didn't start out that way

we don't know what it is exactly that broke her. but we know why.

she had spent all of her life as the personification of happiness and joy, and someone who embodied those emotions. she appeared most as a little kid as delight, because kids definitely find it a lot easier to stay in that perpetually excited, happy mindset

but nothing stays that way forever. and this is where she is like her siblings, and why she's so familiar with the coin metaphor - when you're missing a fundamental piece of being human (either by being barred from your aspect or by being absorbed by it), that's not sustainable. it will tear you apart. dream refuses to accept that this is the case, and that breaks him. desire is equally stubborn about it, and they've outright admitted (in narration) that they're hanging on by a fucking thread

but death figured it out, when she realised she couldn't fulfill her function properly without learning what it was like to live. destruction figured it out when he ran away to go create. and delirium figured it out the hard way, because as soon as the world got a little too big for her singular aspect to make sense, it shattered

and it shattered slowly

there may have been some form of inciting incident, but she didn't become delirium overnight. i think a lot about her describing it as "growing up, or at least growing older", because that's both a very mature way to look at it and also an extremely tragic way to look at it, the idea that she knows too much, is never going to see the world the same way again, and that means delight is never coming back

(and that realisation is when she stopped presenting as a child and started presenting as a teenager)

and i think for a while, early days of being delirium, not delight, she didn't know what to do with that. delight broke into scattered pieces and the more fell away the harder it became to connect them

but she's also the only one of her siblings who's picked herself up from that. and it's why she's the wisest of them. because from there she learned

okay, so her innocence is gone. so delight isn't coming back. but there's still parts of her around, if delirium ever needs them. and the more she observes about the world, the more she experiences, the more different pieces she gets to add to the puzzle. they don't fit together, but that's del's real strength - they're not supposed to. she could have tried to reassemble herself piece by piece, like gluing together a broken statue, but why would she do that? then she'd be exactly as breakable as before, if not more so

instead she's more of a floating amalgamation of pieces, or rather, she's the ties between them. and because there's no set puzzle, she can put those pieces together in any order. she's no longer susceptible to the same problems as her siblings, because she's not missing anything anymore. she didn't lose parts of herself when becoming delirium, she gained some

and yes, no one is entirely without flaw - her downside is she's still susceptible to strong emotion, and when that overwhelms her mind she stops being any kind of person, we just see that floating amalgamation, until she can calm down. but that's the worst of it. her siblings may see her as broken, but she's more whole than she ever was as delight. and she's never going to break again

[rip-us-xoxo]

Hi! I’m new to the Shameless fandom but I’m already in love with Lip, so maybe you could write a Mauve with the quote “You know damn well why I’m here” for Lip x fem!reader it can be just fluff or angst to fluff whatever you prefer.

Also I love purple too 💜

-🌱🫖

Purple is literally LIFE!! I hope you enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~

Okay, so I rewrote this a little bit because I had another request that was very similar, so I decided to just combine them!

The request was: "Lip Gallagher and 'You know damn well why I’m here' and 'you’re my addiction'"

~~~~~~~~~

Lip was your best friend, there was no denying it. You told him everything, for the most part. But there was also no denying that there was something going on between the two of you.

Like seriously, do people who are “strictly friends” make out for fun at parties? Do they have sleepovers where you both wake up practically cuddling? Everyone could see something there, you just wish one of you mustered up the courage to bring up the topic.

You sat on your couch, drinking whatever liquor your parents kept in the cabinet. They were somewhere that you didn’t care enough about to remember. So there you sat, alone, and fucking sad.

You always thought about Lip, tonight was no different. But today, he said something that really fucked with your head.

You were sitting with him out on his front porch, he was smoking, and you were soaking in the sun that was shining directly on you. More like you were getting soaked from the sun shining directly on you, actually, it was hot as balls.

You had on the shortest shorts you could find and the lightest tank top in your wardrobe. You were both just having a normal conversation— Lip was talking about his family and you talking about whatever drama was going on with your friends— everything seemed normal until you both fell silent, not knowing what to talk about.

You watched as his eyes followed a group of teenagers walking past his house. They gawked as they walked past. You weren’t phased though, they were just a bunch of horny teenage boys, nothing new. Lip decided to break the silence by opening his stupid mouth.

“Aren’t you kinda dressed like a slut?” he asked, taking his cigarette out of his mouth, and blowing out some smoke. “What the fuck?” you questioned immediately. Why would he ever say that? It was out of nowhere too.

“What?” he asked, laughing slightly, not seeing the harm in his words. “Are you kidding me? You just called me a slut, Lip!”. “Woah, sorry, princess, didn’t think you’d get offended,” he defended, bringing the cigarette back up to his lips.

“You are unbelievable,” you scoffed, on the verge of tears, while standing up. Lip watched as you walked out of the gate and toward the direction of your house.

“I didn’t fucking do anything!” he yelled at you, you just flipped him off in response.

You grunted at the memory, taking another swig of the bottle in your hand. Your goal was to get so drunk that you just forget everything. You knew that’s not how it worked exactly, but at this point, you didn’t give a shit.

About an hour later, you were almost at your goal, you could feel it. You decided to call one of your other guy friends that you’ve slept with before, truly wanting to forget about Lip, even if it was only for 4 minutes. You sat and waited, occasionally taking sips out of the vodka bottle.

You almost fell getting up when you heard a knock at the door. You groaned, half-regretting texting that guy, you weren’t really in the mood anymore.

“What are you doing here?” you asked, all of the feelings you had been pushing down suddenly coming back up. When you opened the door, you expected it to be the guy you texted, but instead, it was Lip.

If you knew it was him, you wouldn’t have answered the door and let the two guys awkwardly wait outside your door while you lay in your bed, punching your pillow.

“You know damn well why I’m here,” Lip said, his voice slightly cracking, taking you out of your thoughts. “You called me a slut Lip, I don’t think we’re on speaking terms right now,” you sniffled, beginning to close the door.

You watched as his hand stopped it from closing any further. “Come on, Y/n, let’s just talk,” he pleaded. You opened the door, wiping a tear from your cheek. You watched his reaction, interested to see how he’d react. His mouth dropped a bit, as he looked around. He looked helpless. In some twisted way, that made you feel good.

“What is there to talk about?” you asked, crossing your arms. Before he could even make a sound, you began berating him. “What? The fact that you got jealous of a couple of teenagers?!”, “I was not j-”, you continued, “So jealous that the only way you could keep your tough guy act up and not show what everyone already knows is by calling me a slut?! How fucking stup-”.

“Wait, ‘what everyone already knows?’” he questioned, genuinely confused. You laughed, drunk out of your mind, probably looking crazy, “The fact that there’s something between us! Sexual tension, love, I don’t fucking know, but there’s something there and I’m sick and tired of you ignoring that!”.

It fell silent. You waited for an answer, you had already let all of your feelings loose and it was finally time you heard his. He just stared at the ground, refusing to meet your eyes.

You laughed again and wiped tears that were still streaming out of your eyes, “I can’t believe it, you are fucking pathetic! You know what go back to smoking those fucking cigarettes you're addicted to-”. You were cut off by the feeling of lips on yours. Lip had his hands on your shoulders, kissing you deeply.

You immediately sobered up, kissing him back, your hands caressing his back. He leaned you backward kissing you even deeper before pulling away. You were left breathless with swollen lips.

“You're my addiction," he said, still face to face with you. He then pulled away, allowing you to breathe, "and I’m not pathetic,” he stated, rubbing his jaw. “No, you’re not,” you breathed out. You both smiled at each other.

“Y/n?” you heard from behind Lip. Lip recognized that voice. You guys were best friends remember?

“Go away limp dick, she’s taken,” Lip said without even looking at him. You had honestly forgotten that you texted him. You heard the guy scoff before his footsteps got lost in the sound of traffic at 11 o’clock at night.

You laughed, causing Lip to laugh too. “Can I come in?” he asked, a smirk appearing on his face. You laughed, grabbing him by the shirt, “Get in here.”.

~~~~~~~~~

MASTERLIST for💜New Account Celebration!💜(CLOSED)

~~~~~~~~~

xoxo

[averagewriter-inthedark]

I Want My MTV 🎤 | Jake Seresin Imagine

Takes place after the events of TGM

TGM Masterlist

Characters & Pairings: Jake Seresin x popstar!reader (romantic), dagger squad x reader (platonic)

Content Warnings: fluff, profanity, implied suggestive content if you squint | female!reader (she/her) | wc: 8.6k

Premise: glitter and writing love songs are her favorite things in the world…..and also music that gets people dancing and wishing they were a fictional character in a fan edit. When she meets Lt. Jake Seresin, he becomes not only the light of her life but also the source of her inspiration because every love song has to have a muse. And for international popstar Y/n L/n, the man they call Hangman is the muse that keeps her going.

Requested 📨 yes/no (by the lovely @avaleineandafryingpan w/ some suggestions from @gizmodear on this post)

Note: I’m so sorry this took a bit (forgive me, school has been crazy) but I really really enjoyed writing this and i hope its everything you imagined @avaleineandafryingpan 🥹♥️ I made sure to add all the little hc’s you sent in & added some things of my own I thought would be great so I hope you don’t mind! Please let me know what you think!

Songs headcanoned by popstar!reader: ‘34+35’, ‘Love Me Harder,’ ‘Break Free,’ & ‘Imagine,’ by Ariana Grande + ‘Rain On Me’ w/ Lady Gaga. ‘Summertime Sadness,’ ‘ Young & Beautiful,’ ‘Norman Fucking Rockwell,’ ‘Video Games,’ & ‘Love Song,’ by Lana Del Rey. ‘Last Friday Night,’ ‘Teenage Dream,’ & ‘Firework,’ by Katy Perry. ‘Power,’ ‘Secret Love Song,’ ‘ Between Us,’ & ‘Salute’ by Little Mix

———————————————

August 2026

“Deep breathes, darlin’,” his hands were smooth against her shoulders, instantly calming her nerves. Y/n took a deep inhale, nodding as she slowly let the air leave her lips. Jake beamed at her, “This ain’t the first time you’ve been on stage. You got this.”

“I know, but performing on live television for millions of people is different than a few thousand in a venue,” she reminded him, feeling the anxiety return causing her to close her eyes. “It’s been six years since my last VMA performance, Jake. Also,” she nervously laughs, “This is the Vanguard award they’re giving me—I’m, quite literally, shitting my pants. I want this to be amazing.” To be fair the reason for her not being invited back to the VMAs was a mini break from music she went on after they got married in 2021. The birth of their children was another factor so it wasn’t until late 2025 that Y/n had released the music she’d been working on.

The break was much needed, but she was missing the stage, the touring, the fans. It was what kept her going and made her career worth it. Music was her life, but so was her family which is why she took so long to release an album. Now here she was years later about to step foot on the VMA stage for the first time in six years. Another thing that made it worthwhile was she was being honored with the MTV Video Vanguard Award. Leading up news outlets were covering her return and on the red carpet reporters were eager to know what Y/n was cooking up.

“And it will be,” he told her, cupping her face in his hands, careful not to mess up the gemstones and glitter around her eyes. She could feel the cool metal of his wedding band against her skin. “You are one of the best vocalists of our generation—the High Note Princess. One of the best stage performers of all time—it’s gonna be an amazing show. You’ve been working so hard for months,” he gives a comforting squeeze to her shoulders. “So just breathe with me and then you’ll go out there and sing your pretty little heart out. And it’s gonna be the best performance of the night.”

As she mentally prepared while waiting for the stage manager, Y/n leaned more into Jake’s arms and let her mind wander. Memories started to appear, reeling back to when her career kicked off all the way to when she met her husband and finally to the present day.

February 2008

Like any aspiring star, Y/n L/n made the rash decision to quit college and move to Los Angeles in hopes of achieving her goal of becoming a singer. Hollywood was calling her name, so she spent months applying to jobs in the area before finding a small studio apartment and packed up her little Honda and set sail for the city where dreams are made. Time would be the make or break factor if she stayed or retreated back home with her tail between her legs.

One year.

That was her deadline. One year to get a job at a label, get discovered, or possibly find something worth renewing her lease. Working as a singer at a jazz bar could possibly have one of the options come true. Again, it would take time before something happened.

Y/n wasn’t the only singer at the club. Another girl was on stage Monday’s, Wednesday’s, and Saturday’s whereas Y/n was booked Tuesday’s, Thursday’s, and Friday’s. The club was closed Sunday’s and the nights Y/n didn’t sing she was a server or bartender. The pay was good for the most part with her tips racking in more income than the biweekly check for singing and serving. Sometimes she’d get compliments from patrons, especially the older crowd saying, “You have such a unique voice—the way you have control and range makes me think you should be on the radio and not some little jazz club like this. Your talent shouldn’t be wasted, dear.”

The words and support always boosted Y/n’s confidence. Truly did it make her feel she could make it big. Actually break through into the industry. But that takes time and sometimes the opportunity arises when one least expects it.

Maybe she could audition for American Idol. Maybe she could upload videos on that new website YouTube. Maybe she could be bold and send some demos to labels, praying it would land on someone’s desk.

Or, someone important from said label would wander into the club.

That idea seemed like a far stretch. But just three months shy of Y/n’s deadlines she was approached by a gentleman after she finished her number one Friday night. A business card in his hand, he said, “Give me a call Monday morning, I’d like to set up a meeting to talk with you about your potential. Bring some demos if you have any.”

A notebook of songs in her hand and a CD of demos she spent the whole weekend working on, Y/n left Capitol Records that morning with a copy of her contract in hand and the promise of bringing forth the best music of her life. There were tears shed as she relayed the exciting news to her family back home. Her coworkers whom she adored threw her a party at the club in celebration that night. She wouldn’t leave the club just yet. Just because she had signed didn’t mean she would make it big in the long run. No, she decided to stay at the club until she at least was at the level where she could financially afford to.

The first time Y/n heard herself on the radio she broke into tears. It happened unexpectedly too. After packing up her car with two weeks worth of groceries that cost her entire paycheck Y/n switched the the radio to the pop station and was singing along to the tunes when she heard the beginning chords to her song, ‘Teenage Dream.’ Cars honked around after she slammed the brakes and abruptly pulled to the side of the road, eyes wide with her hands covering her mouth.

“You think I’m pretty without any makeup on. You think I’m funny when I tell the punchline wrong. I know you get me, so I let my walls come down, down.”

Y/n literally changed the channel just to change it back to make sure she wasn’t dreaming. That it was actually her song playing.

“Before you met, I was alright, but things were kinda heavy. You brought me to life, now every February, you’ll be Valentine. Valentine.”

“Let’s go all the way tonight. No regrets, just love. We can dance, until we die. You and I, will be young forever.”

“Oh my God!!!” She got out of her car just to scream while jumping up & down. People on the sidewalk were looking at her crazy but she didn’t care. Not when her own song was blasting from her car on the radio.

“You make me, feel like I’m living a Teenage Dream. The way you turn me on, I can’t sleep. Let's run away and don’t ever look back. Don’t ever look back.”

Y/n’s entire life took a 180 after that very day. Her talent agent and manager from Capital Records were calling her saying she was on the Billboard Hot 100. They were planning on releasing her second single earlier than planned in order to push up the release of her album. Every radio station was playing ‘Teenage Dream,’. There were days Y/n would be in a store and would hear in playing, causing her to break out in a grin.

Before long Y/n was getting calls left in right with her manager and publicist securing television appearances and interviews. Her second single ‘Firework’ was an instant hit, becoming a gold certified record in just a few weeks. People auditioning for X-Factor and American Idol were covering it. Videos being posted to YouTube. Then Y/n released ‘Last Friday Night,’, becoming a popular song for teenagers and young adults. The full album shot her off into stardom.

“SNL?” She dropped her muffin, staring wide eyed at her manager. “SNL wants me to perform?”

“I got Lorne Micheals on the phone—I literally have him on hold—and he’s awaiting your answer.”

“Tell him my answer is ‘fuck yeah!’”

“I’ll tell him…you said yes.”

The appearance on SNL only increased Y/n’s popularity. Following it was invitations to the Kids & Teen Choice Awards, the Billboard Music Awards and the MTV VMAS, in which she won Best New Artist at all shows and Song of The Summer at the TCA’s. The first time she won she was a stuttering mess, thanking the fans and people who voted for her and her family, managers, execs at Capitol Records all while trying not to cry on live television.

Then the 2009 Grammys happened. And she won Best Pop Album and Record of The Year for ‘Last Friday Night’. Her hands shook as she accepted the award from none other than Usher, trying not to fangirl as she approached the microphone. She was never gonna get used to meeting the people she admired.

“O-oh wow,” she stuttered over the screams, feeling the cool surface of the award in her hand. A Grammy. She was a Grammy Award winning recording artist. “This is the greatest honor I’ve ever received—bigger than when I graduated with high school honors,” she laughed nervously, causing people in the crowd to smile at her. “Huge thank you to the Recording Academy for this award. It’s an honor to be part of a group with so many artists I admire—some of whom I’ve listened to for years a-and I can’t believe I have the privilege of being in your presence. I-I wanna take a moment to thank everyone at Capitol Records, my managers Raven and Paul. To everyone who helped me on this album who put their heart and soul into it—this award is not just mine it’s yours. To my family watching at home, I know you’re all losing your minds in front of the tv,” she grinned at the laughs around her, “I love you all so so much and thank you for your support—helping me get to where I am. I’m sorry if I forgot anyone else—t-there telling me to wrap up—b-but thank you—thank you so much for this, I’m so blessed and honored—I can’t even put it into words. Thank you!”

All of 2009-2010 was dedicated to her second album. Y/n was in the studio, writing songs on napkins when she was out with friends, mentally hearing the tunes in her head. She presented and performed at award shows and she went on tour. The goal was to have the songs ready and written by the time the tour ended. Luckily she achieved that goal with at least twenty potential for an album. Anytime Y/n found inspiration she made sure to write it down as quickly as possible.

Now with two Grammys under her name, one of which was for her debut album, the pressure was on.

“This is totally different from what you’ve been doing,” her producer said to her after reading the songs.

“I know, that’s the whole point,” she gave a pointed look, “I don’t want everything to be or sound the same. This is gonna have a different sound than what we did last year. Trust me it’s gonna be big.”

Might as well call her psychic cause that’s exactly what she was.

“It’s been a great week for popstar Y/n L/n, her recent single ‘Summertime Sadness,’ has shot to the top spot of this week’s Billboard Hot 100. A new sound that’s more mellow than her previous work, it’s been well received by fans and critics. L/n is finishing up the American leg of her world tour and is set to release her second studio album in the fall. Just two years ago L/n became an international star after winning two Grammys for her debut album and appearing on television such as Saturday Night Live, Ellen Degeneres, and The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. With her unique voice and style she’s been viewed as the next pop diva, joining that of Madonna, Britney Spears, and Lady Gaga.”

‘Video Games’ was released when the tour concluded and it became her best single to date. The music video was played on MTV early in the mornings and predicted to be nominated for every award one could think of. It was that single combined with the critical acclaim from her album in 2011 that had Baz Luhrmann calling Y/n to write a song for his upcoming 2013 movie ‘The Great Gatsby.’

“And the Oscar goes to….” Y/n’s hand clutched her manager’s, keeping a calm face since the camera was panned on her and the other nominees. In Halle Berry’s hand was the envelope with the winner of the 2014 Oscar for ‘Best Original Song.’ Heart pumping out of her chest, she barely registered her song and name leaving the actress's lips. “Young & Beautiful,’ by Y/n L/n.”

Baz jumped from his seat, as did her manager and producer, the latter of whom she was sharing the Oscar with. A hand flew to her mouth, feeling her arm tugged as they lifted her from her seat while the theater erupted in applause. It felt like she was floating when she approached the stairs, taking the arm of her producer when he offered her help.

“Congratulations,” Halle said, opening her arms for a congratulatory hug before handing the gold statue to the singer. Y/n let out a mix of a sob and laugh as she replied, “T-thank you.”

Another statue was presented to her producer, Y/n waiting for the applause to end until giving her speech.

“O-oh my God, I just met Halle Berry,” there were some chuckles, the singer pausing to hold a hand to her thumping heart while the other clutched the Oscar. “I-I don’t know how to start. First, thank you to the Academy foremost—it’s an honor to be receiving this recognition. Shout out to the other nominees and their incredible work—you all are amazing and we’re so lucky to be almost you all. We all have one major thing in common, and that’s music. Music and movies bring people together—it’s a universal language that we get to be a part of and I am so grateful everyday for being a part of it. Thank you to Baz for allowing us this opportunity—it was so fun working on this song for you and your spectacular film. This Oscar is for you, Baz,” she saw the director blow a kiss from his seat. “Thank you to my producer, Tim—who’s standing right next to me. The magic behind Young & Beautiful, Tim you are a genius and I love you so much. Lastly, to my family back home—ah!” She waved the trophy like a little kid, “Look! I love you all so so much—thank you and I can’t wait to celebrate with you when I come home. Thank you everyone!”

Each year came with more success. The rest of 2014 going all the way to 2016 was nonstop energy. She was working day and night, touring, performing on talk shows, collaborating with other artists—like Taylor Swift, Nicki Minaj, The Weekend, & Justin Bieber—and dabbling in acting jobs. Y/n secured roles in films like The Greatest Showman, The Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials & Death Cure, & The Shape of Water. Some television roles included MTV’s Teen Wolf, American Horror Story and guest appearances on Criminal Minds, Greys Anatomy, and Doctor Who. Her role on AHS garnered her an Emmy for Best Supporting Actress in a Drama Series. After the award show her manager told her with a wink, “All you need is a Tony and you’re part of the EGOT club.”

EGOT. The ‘grand slam’ in show business. Where only more than a dozen people have achieved the status in which they have won an Emmy, Grammy, Oscar and Tony. The biggest awards in television, music, film, and theater.

After she heard that….well you could say Y/n was on a mission.

She continued to release music while pursuing acting. She leased her third and fourth studio albums in the span of eight months—a rare sighting for an artist. Both broke records in their own right. ‘Break Free,’ was playing in every club and ‘Imagine’ was used in Riverdale. She won the Grammy for best Pop album once again and performed ‘Imagine’ at the show. The second it was revealed she got the role of Christine in Broadway’s Phantom of the Opera, the buzz was already on if she would achieve EGOT status if she was nominated for the Tony.

The show opened in early 2017, selling out at a rapid rate with people coming from all over the country solely to watch Y/n perform. She already showed the world she was a brilliant singer and actress, now it was time to combine the two.

Never did she think she’d meet the love of her life at a show.

Jake Seresin wasn’t much of a musical man, but his sister and nieces were so he sucked it up and attended with them. Now Jake wasn’t living under a rock, he damn well knew who Y/n L/n was and frankly the man was a fan. A lot of his exes were fans of the popstar so he was quite familiar with her music and even enjoyed her acting. So of course he was more keen to the idea of going to a Broadway show if it meant he got to see her perform live.

What he didn’t expect was to—literally—run into her on his way back to the hotel. After telling his sister he’d pick food up since her daughters were too tired to go to a restaurant, Jake took a shortcut which happened to be the alley between the show venue. The bag in his hand dropped, the pilot falling to his ass when the door suddenly opened and hit smack in the face.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry!” A voice shouted followed by a gasp. “Are you okay, sir? ‘Please don’t have blood-please don’t have blood.’

“I’m fine,” he moaned, shaking his head a bit and feeling for any sign of a wound. Thankfully he found none. “It’s alright, ma’am.”

“Here let me,” she helped him up, Jake stumbling a bit and apologizing when he bumped into her. “Are you sure you’re okay? Do you need me to call an ambulance in case you have a concussion?”

“No, no,” he insisted, finally looking up which only resulted in him freezing. The woman he watched on stage not even an hour ago was standing in front of him. “Oh wow.”

Y/n was frozen too, for he was the most attractive man she’d ever laid eyes on. The glow from the street light shined down on him, illuminating his green eyes and blonde hair. His bone structure was what most Hollywood heartthrobs would die for. Come to think of it he could literally pass as a young James Dean.

“H-hi,” she smiled, feeling a bit flustered all of a sudden. It didn’t help that he was still holding onto her shoulders, and she was clutching his forearms.

“Hi.” Gosh even his voice was attractive. A southern accent could be made out with the simple word.

“I’m so sorry for not looking before pushing the door out like that. I—,” Y/n cut herself off when she spotted the discarded bag of what appeared to be food. Some of it spilled out causing guilt to fill her, “Oh gosh, I’m so sorry about your food.” Stepping away she reached into her bag to pull out her wallet. “How much was—.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Jake says, but the singer shakes her head.

“No I insist,” she takes out a random amount of bills which was likely triple what he had actually paid but she didn’t care. She extended her hand out with the cash, “I rammed a door into you and made you drop your food. Please let me make it up—otherwise I’m gonna have to drag you to the place you got it from and replace it myself.”

Jake couldn’t help but smile, taking the cash and examining it before only keeping the amount he had originally paid. “No need to give me more than what it was worth. Here,” he hands back the extra, making her frown but she takes it regardless. Her eyebrows then raise when he goes, “But you could make it up to me in another way?”

Tilting her head, she can’t help but say, “How so?”

“By having a drink with me. If you’re available.”

So that’s how Y/n L/n met her soulmate. By hitting him face first with a door. He literally fell for her if one thought about it—pun intended.

What made it even better was Broadway not only gifted her future husband, but her status as an EGOT winner.

“Last night was a record breaking night for popstar Y/n L/n. The 30-year-old singer and actress has become one of just over a dozen to join the prestigious EGOT Club after winning the Tony for her Leading Actress in a Musical for her role of Christine in Broadway’s Phantom Of The Opera. L/n won the Grammy for Best Pop Album and Record of The Year in 2009 followed by the Oscar for Best Original Song in 2014 for The Great Gatsby. She then went on to appear in several television series including the popular horror series American Horror Story in which she won the Emmy for Best Supporting Actress in a Drama Series. It was rumored L/n would venture into Broadway to possibly add a Tony to her collection of numerous awards, confirming this in mid-2016 when the cast for the 2017 run of Andrew Webber’s Phantom Of The Opera was released. Classically trained as a child, the popstar showed she can belt a lyric and hold a tune. It was a spectacular night for Y/n L/n, receiving a standing ovation when her name was called for the award and dedicating the Tony to her family, friends, cast members, and managers who’ve been with her since her debut in the music industry almost a decade ago. She is one of the youngest stars to ever achieve EGOT status and the fastest ever in a career.”

Many many songs were inspired by her relationship with Jake. Her entire album released a year after they got together was basically a love letter to him. ‘Love Song’ was regarded as her most beautiful record to date, a source for many fan-made videos for their favorite fictional characters and features in movie soundtracks. ‘Love Me Harder,’ & ‘34+35’ had fans go crazy with how frisky they were. Though their relationship was a secret it was obvious the popstar was in love. It only made fans want to know who was the special man to take her heart.

Jake learned pretty early on the price that came with dating a critically acclaimed songwriter: that if messed up there would be a song about it.

Immediately speculations arose that Y/n and her secret partner were broken up with the release of songs like ‘Woman Like Me,’ & ‘Power.’ She had to get on instagram one day to settle the rumors with a picture of their interlaced hands saying, “You drive me wild sometimes, but my love for you overpowers all.”

Their relationship was eventually exposed when Jake appeared in her music video for ‘Secret Love Song,’ released just shortly before he was set to return to Top Gun. People could easily tell the chemistry between Y/n and her ‘love interest’.

Maybe a little too much chemistry.

Dedicated fans were able to find out who Jake was in less than a week. Matching up his social media post locations and dates with hers, they didn’t even need them to confirm their suspicion to know they were together.

“I guess the cat’s out of the bag,” Jake chuckled, showing Y/n his phone screen with a picture that was just sent to TMZ of the two in San Francisco.

Y/n simply shrugged, “I’m fine with it if you are. I’m happy we got to keep it to ourselves for this long. And considering people are now asking about this—,” she held up her left hand, flashing the diamond engagement ring Jake spent his entire year’s paychecks on. “It was bound to happen sooner or later.”

Was Jake still the arrogant, egotistical pilot amongst his peers? Yes. But was he the type to boast about how he was engaged to one of the best musical artists of the century? Surprisingly no.

He actually enjoyed keeping that little detail a secret. To Jake his personal life was for him and him only. And he didn’t want people going around saying he was a gold-digger or wanting to be that guy who got to say he hooked up with a celebrity. Nah, he was in love with Y/n with his entire being. She was the gravity that kept him down to Earth. Sure they bickered like any couple but never once did either of them cross a line.

The only time they ever had a big argument was when he did get jealous over one of her former co-stars trying to have a shot at her. Y/n tried brushing it off saying it was nothing, but Jake could tell the signs and it upset him Y/n was not taking him seriously. “I just don’t see why you’re being so childish about a dinner party that’s gonna have multiple people.”

“Have you even asked who else is coming? Or wondered why he’s started texting you more when you guys finished filming ages ago? I’m not trying to be insecure or jealous, Y/n, but I know when a guy is trying to flirt. He didn’t even acknowledge me as your date when we were at the premier party. In fact I don’t think he said hello to me when he approached. All his eyes were was on you—which I don’t blame because you’re the most beautiful woman on the planet—but trust me, I know that look because I have it every second I’m with you.”

Needless to say you didn’t go to that dinner party and instead were doing what ‘Love Song’ was about the entire weekend.

When Jake goes to Top Gun for the special detachment, he’s still the arrogant asshole the others thought him to be. But if they were being honest they could see a difference in him. Maybe it was because he wasn’t flirting with anything with legs. Maybe it was the fact he rejected the drink from a pretty blonde. Maybe it was because they caught him smiling at his phone whenever he got a text. Whatever it was, they wanted to find out.

The only person in the detachment who knew of Y/n was Javy considering he was Jake’s best friend. She met him roughly eight months after she and Jake got together after much discussion. Their relationship was still a secret by then so they were hesitant to let anyone besides her team know, but Javy was an important person to Jake. He wanted his best friend to know the woman he loved.

Natasha being the amateur sleuth she was pretty much discovered Jake’s secret in a few days, “No fucking way.”

The evidence was presented to Jake during their lunch break the day after she found out, Nat holding the phone up for him to see. She literally watched the gears turn in his head, a sly smirk forming on his lips. “What about that, Trace?” The question caught the attention of their colleagues, who were trying not to show they were eavesdropping.

“Is that not you?” Nat looked at the screen to make sure it was on the zoomed in image of him and Y/n L/n. The entire music video Jake’s face was pretty much hidden from view, but briefly his face could be made out at certain angles.

“It is,” he shrugged, going back to his sandwich. A cluttered sound indicated Nat had dropped the phone on the table, scrambling to pick it up.

“So you just casually ended up in Y/n L/n’s music video for her iconic song?” By now heads turned, expressions of absolute shock. Well all except Coyote. He just raised his brows at Jake while holding back a laugh, wanting to see what he would say.

“No, I ended up in my fiancé’s music video for her iconic song.”

“You’re what?!”

“Babe, I got a favor to ask you,” Jake’s voice was tainted with exhaustion when he FaceTimed Y/n that night. She was at their Fresno home since he was stationed at NAS Lemoore and was planning to meet him in San Diego that weekend. Raising a brow at him through the screen she could tell he looked apologetic.

“What is it?”

“You think you could come down earlier than planned?” At her reaction he explained, “My detachment found out about us and well……they’re accusing me of photoshopping the photos of you and I—even though they literally saw us make out in your music video. And I want to prove to them I’m telling the truth.”

A moment passed and then Y/n burst into laughter to the point of tears. What got her was the photoshopping accusation.

“Stop laughing,” he pouted, “I’m fighting for me life out here—I could use some backup.”

“My goodness, Jake Seresin,” she calmed down, shaking her head at his butt hurt expression. “You’re something else you know?”

“So does that mean you’re coming?”

“I’ll book my flight for the morning as soon as we get off.”

One could envision the confusion on the pilots/WSOs when Jake prevented them from leaving the airstrip at the end of the work day. It was pushing five in the afternoon, they were tired and hungry, and honestly could care less about what Jake had to show them.

That was until the black SUV with tinted windows pulled up to the parking lot where they were standing. When the door opened jaws dropped to the floor with eyes bulging out at the person emerging from the vehicle. Who happened to jump into Jake’s awaiting arms. Fanboy had to rub his eyes to make sure he was seeing clearly. That it was Y/n L/n sharing a kiss with the resident asshole.

“Oh my God he wasn’t kidding,” Rooster said with a mix of awe and disbelief. Javy patted him on the chest, moving first to greet the popstar who shocked the pilots again with her warm welcome to them. None knew how to react when the couple approached hand in hand.

It’s not everyday someone meets a fucking EGOT winner.

“Hello,” Y/n smiled a dazzling grin, drifting her eyes over each of them and committing their callsign to memory. She could tell what they were likely thinking, ‘How the hell did Hangman manage to pull a fucking popstar?’ And ‘He must be brainwashing her, blink twice if you need help,’ kind of stuff.

Introductions were in store as well as explanations for how the couple came to be. In all the years they knew the pilot, none could’ve predicted that kind of secret. They quickly learned Y/n was not the typical celebrity—some of them were even ashamed to think she’d be stuck up, arrogant, snobbish. They were almost convinced the personality she had in interviews and fan interactions were fake, but Y/n was a truly genuine person. Not only did she come from humble beginnings, but she was a hard, driven worker who truly earned everything she’s gained.

And she was perfect for Jake. They were like two peas in a pod, with Y/n being the only one who could bring him back down to earth. Truly was an amazing thing to witness and the daggers were having trouble comprehending it at times. Hearing the story of how the two met brought tears to Rooster and Fanboy’s eyes by how funny it was, while Phoenix was covering her mouth to hide her smirk at how embarrassed her colleague was.

“In my defense,” he puts his hands on his chest when Bob asks why he thought to pass the side door, “I didn’t expect anyone to still be inside and potentially use that door.”

“He just hates when I tease him about how he literally fell for me,” Y/n winks, making them all smirk.

Later on in the night after going to the Hard Deck for drinks and pool, Rooster says, “You know I feel I won’t be able to use my karaoke song if we ever go cause I’ll be too flustered to sing a song in front of the person it’s written by.” Y/n couldn’t help but blush, giggling lightly.

“What is it?”

“Last Friday Night. Such a banger—really gets the crows going.”

Even after the Uranium mission happened, the daggers continued to remain in contact. Many were offered jobs of instructors but the real surprise came a couple months later from the Pentagon asking if they could remain a permanent team. Selling their San Francisco home, Jake and Y/n moved to San Diego, which was better since it was closer to L.A. The team hung out often with Friday nights reserved for the Hard Deck.

Y/n even found musical inspiration with them.

“So I have a proposal,” she hums to Nat and Callie one day while the guys are playing football on the beach. “Not a marriage one Jake claimed that one already,” she pauses when they all laugh at the joke, “but a ‘if you want to be a part of it I would love it if you did but I understand if you can't be’ kind of one.”

Nat tilts her head curiously, Callie mirroring her, “What is it?”

“I wrote a song….that you two helped inspire,” Y/n smiles at their expressions, “and I’d love for you both to be in the music video after I release it.”

Nat loses it, “OH MY GOD YOU WHAT?!!”

“Can we hear it!?” Callie blushes, “I’m so honored—oh my God I literally don’t know how to react to that.”

“Girl you cannot just drop that on us,” Nat playfully points with narrowed eyes, “If you weren’t Jake’s soon to be wife I would marry you right now.” Y/n just laughs, rummaging through her bag to find her notebook to show them the song.

“If he messes up you’ll be the first to know and we can head to the courthouse.”

“Don’t play with me now, Y/n,” Nat shakes her head. “No man has ever done something like that. Write a song inspired by me?” She gives a dramatic sigh. “Feels like I’m living in a romance novel.”

Both read the song, both fell in love with it and pretty much cried. It was empowering, motivational, a love letter to women, everything they wished they heard growing up in a field where men dominated and looked down upon them. Y/n made sure to keep them updated when she was in the studio, allowing them to hear it first before it was released.

2020 was a year no one could’ve expected.

It started off great with the singer releasing ‘Salute,’ shortly after the New Year and filing the music video in February. The song was well received from fans and critics, with people already calling it the ‘anthem of the year.’ Jake loved it and would send clips of him in the car to Y/n belting the lyrics. The guys all loved it too and loved that their colleagues were the source of inspiration.

Halo and Phoenix were part of the MV as well as women who in real life were doctors, nurses, lawyers, teachers, athletes, students, astronauts, & scientists from all ages, races/ethnicities, genders, etc. Not all of them were in the armed forces, but a couple were along with Nat and Callie. Special permission from the Navy & Top Gun was needed to put cameras in the F-18’s on the exterior and interior to capture footage of the two flying. Halo was Nat’s backseater for that day and the guys came out just to watch and support.

Released just before March, the music video hit 100 million views in less than 12 hours. It only grew from there with people praising Y/n and the women included in the project. There was talk of ‘Salute’ being nominated for the upcoming awards, Team USA asked permission to use the song for promotion for their women athletes for the upcoming Games. Y/n was over the moon, really looking forward for what the year held. Especially with her wedding around the corner.

Then the world shut down. Literally.

A global pandemic altered everything and everyone. Anything that required a group of people ranging from small to stadium level was banned. States were on curfew and not letting people cross borders, international traveling was restricted. Lockdown was mandated for pretty much everywhere to the point Jake was working from home for a couple months.

In that time Y/n threw herself into writing songs to release her next album. Her reason: she was in need of a break. Not a ‘I’m retiring from music,’ but a ‘I’m drained and in dire need of taking time for myself and start the family I’ve always wanted.’ It was always her plan for after she and Jake got married, just to have a few years for themselves and see where life takes them.

Thankfully when the pandemic hit Y/n was already done with her collaboration with Lady Gaga. The fellow popstar had been her friend since she joined the industry and it was a long time coming for the two to work together. Not to mention they were on American Horror Story together. The Mother Monster approached the High Note Princess in late 2019, both sharing ideas and writing the song together before recording to release in 2020. Filming the music video, they combed both of their aesthetics and styles to create a pop masterpiece.

Fans went crazy. They loved the return to classic pop when both singers had gone off to pursue acting careers and change their sound a bit. Many felt deprived of being able to dance to ‘Rain On Me’ in a club since going out was restricted. And you can best believe the Daggers felt the same—especially Rooster who loved to dance his ass off, “I would be tearing it up right now if Rona wasn’t such a bitch.”

Surprisingly the 2020 VMAs still happened. It was roughly six months after the outbreak and very strict regulations were in place for the show to go on. With ‘Rain On Me,’ being so popular and popstars releasing albums, Y/n and Lady Gaga were invited to perform. After prepping for weeks and self-quarantining, the daggers all gathered around at the couple’s home to watch the live show. Lady Gaga was the first to perform solely when it was their turn, then Y/n joined causing the select few in the crowd to cheer—with her friends and loved ones going crazy in their living room. All were in awe when she hit a high note, killing it with the choreography and honestly being the best performers of the night. Finally Lady Gaga left the stage with her dancers allowing Y/n’s to appear in time for the popstar to sing ‘Salute.’ At the house, Halo and Nat were dancing along and belting the lyrics with the guys while recording the performance on their phones.

“Sisters, we are everywhere! Warriors, your country needs you! If you’re ready, ladies, better keep steady, ready, aim, shoot! Don’t need ammunition, on a mission—now we hit you with the truth! Divas, queen, we don’t need no man, SALUTE!!”

2021 came with hope and breaths of fresh air. A vaccination was developed, restrictions were lifted in most locations meaning Y/n and Jake could finally plan for their wedding. It took a few months to plan, desiring an intimate private wedding at their home with their close friends and family. The daggers were all there, including Maverick, Cyclone, Warlock, and Hondo. Their families were all there as well as Y/n’s managers & agents, some cast members from the shows/films she grew close to, as well as artists like Taylor Swift, Lady Gaga, Alicia Keys, David Guetta, and The Black Eyed Peas, the Jonas Brothers, & Miley Cyrus.

A sweet ceremony, Y/n squealed when Jake tipped her back to the cheers of their loved ones as he kissed her passionately. “I love you so much, Y/n. Or should I say, Mrs. Seresin.”

“I love you too, Mr. Seresin,” she kissed him again, “Now let’s show them we’re the life of the party.”

Rings on their fingers, grins plastered their faces when they ran through the Arch of Swords the guys of the Dagger Squad set up on the aisle. Then came time for the reception. Jake presented Y/n with a sword, per military tradition, to cut the cake and Y/n poured the champagne over the tower of glasses. They had their first dance, which Javy made sure to do his best man duties and record everything.

Which came in handy when it was time for Y/n’s surprise for Jake.

Seating him in a chair at the front of the dance floor, Y/n smirked at his confused expression as she took the mic from the DJ, calling everyone's attention. “All of you know I’m one for surprises. And tonight is no exception,” biting her lip she signaled for her maid of honor, who started rounding up the bridesmaids. “I thought it would be great to give Jake a little treat tonight—do not take that the wrong way, I can already see your minds going somewhere,” she pointed at the daggers who were hollering, giggling as she continued, “Stop it. Anyways, we’ve been cooking up this little number for the past month and now it’s time to let it shine. Baby, this is for you.”

Jake slapped a hand to his mouth containing his expression of glee when the opening chords to Y/n’s ‘Power’ echoed through the speakers. Her bridesmaids got into place, the singer discarding her veil and moving to the center. Everyone was on their feet hooting and hollering, capturing the performance on their phones for memory. Javy even put the phone right up in Jake’s face, Payback slapping the pilot on the back as the others whistled and danced. Just the expression of his mother and family sent Jake into tears of laughter.

She was flabbergasted. Unlike his sister and brother who were having the time of their lives witnessing the masterpiece that was Y/n practically seducing her husband live and singer her own song.

“I don’t think she’s heard this song until now!” He shouted over the music to the phone, blushing when Y/n winked at him. To be fair, the bridge of ‘Power’ was a little on the frisky side and Y/n was edging closer to Jake until she was basically in his lap.

“Don’t be fooled, I got you wrapped up. In the arms of an animal—get you thinking that I’m all innocent. But wait ‘til I get you home. If you don’t, baby, you should know. I’m the one who’s in control.”

Hell yeah she was in control when she got home that night….well at least for a few rounds she was.

Sadness came with the announcement of her break from music. The hot topic for media outlets, Y/n had released a statement on Twitter and Instagram confirming the suspicions many had after her wedding. Fans were understandably upset that their favorite artist wouldn’t be releasing new material until further notice, but they’d rather have Y/n at her best and not give half ass energy in her work. She was burnt out. It was time for a break after 13 years with six albums, each with their own tour. Don’t get her wrong, the popstar loved to be on the road, but after a while she was ready to just stay home for some time without planning for what was next.

In the meantime she sold songs for other people, collaborated on writing with artists, and acted when filming was either in L.A or San Diego. She and Jake were happily married, little to no financial stress or personal issues, and were ready to expand their family. By mid 2025 they had/adopted two kids, two dogs, and a cat. They were a full house with no dull days whatsoever.

“Are you going to get back in the studio like you mentioned the other week?” Jake asked at dinner, helping cut his son's food into smaller pieces.

Y/n nibbled on her floor while also assisting their daughter, “Yeah I think this weekend I’m gonna call Jack up and see what his schedule is like. I got some lyrics I’d like him to read.” Sipping on her drink briefly she then asks, “How long do you think this next mission is going to be?”

“Probably a week or two. Mav is working out the details and hopes to tell us Monday. I just pray I’ll make it in time for your birthday.”

Y/n feels her heart skip, giving a soft smile, “You know I understand if you can’t, honey. If the Pentagon is tasking you then you know it’s important. We’ll celebrate either before or after you get back,” she assured, reaching over to hold his hand when he frowned.

“I just hate the idea of missing it, you know? It’s your birthday and I missed our anniversary last year,” he pauses to sigh, “I just hate leaving you guys for so long. And I never wanna make you feel like you’re always alone.”

“I knew what I was getting into when we fell in love. Don’t feel like you’re missing out or I’m going to suddenly start giving ultimatums because you know I’m not that person. If it was our anniversary or another memorable date I would still feel the same. You have a job, Jake, you’re the best there is to do it. There will be plenty more birthdays for us to be together for.”

Being back in the studio felt like a whole new world. It had been nearly five years since her last single was in late 2020. When Jake was working the kids would come with her and be the stars of the crew, playing in the mini play area they had set up while Y/n was recording. Besides the people she worked with, only Jake knew she was releasing new music. Quite literally Y/n did not announce anything until the night before with a single Tweet and Instagram post with the art cover and the caption, “Tomorrow at midnight, Between Us.”

She broke the internet to put it lightly.

@ Y/ns_microphone: WE’RE GETTING NEW MUSIC OMFG PLEASE TELL ME IT’S A WHOLE ALBUM!!

@ livinginharryshouse: y’all the High Note Princess is back I’m gonna lose it.

@ a_teenage_dream: 2025 ending on a great note 🥹 five years and the wait is over!!!!

@ dylanobrien ✔️: crying, shitting, throwing up. Thank you @ Y/n

August 2026

18 years in the music industry and the rush before a live performance had Y/n pacing backstage during the commercial break of the VMAs. Their children were being occupied by her manager while Jake helped her mentally prepare. He was going to be the one to present her the award at the end of her set, so they were just waiting for the green light from the stage manager. The performance was going to be nearly ten minutes, the longest she’s ever done live on an award show since it was going to be a medley of some of her classic hits while also including ‘Between Us’. Lady Gaga, Y/n’s close friend and who collaborated with her again on her most recent album, was going to introduce her.

“Deep breaths with me, baby,” Jake held her in his arms, kissing her forehead. “I can feel you shaking. But once you get on stage it’s gonna be like you never left.” Taking a strong inhale, Y/n let it out slowly before repeating.

“I know it probably won’t happen,” she starts to laugh, “but I can’t help but dread the idea of me falling on my ass or forgetting my lyrics.” Jake laughs with her, shaking his head while pulling away to look at her.

“Knowing you, you’d fall gracefully and make it look like it was intentional. Also you mumble those lyrics in your sleep…you won’t forget them.”

She leans more into him just as the stage manager yells, “You’re on in five, Y/n!” The commercial break must have ended. Lady Gaga was already being pulled on stage after wishing the popstar good luck with a hug and friendly kiss to the cheek. “We need you over here please.”

“That’s your cue,” Jake grins, cupping his wife’s face before bringing her in for a passionate kiss. Y/n smiles into it, nuzzling their noses together causing him to chuckle. When they pull away he says, “Go out there and have fun. Bottom line, baby, have fun out there and sing your heart out. I’m so lucky and honored to be your husband and share this life with you. Don’t start crying,” he playfully scolds when her eyes tear up, “you’ll ruin your nice makeup your team worked so hard on.” That makes her laugh. Jake kisses her again, “I love you, baby. I’ll see you at the end.”

“I love you, Jake,” she hugs him tightly, feeling comfort in the smell of his cologne. “Thank you for being by my side everyday. You’re the light of my life—,” she nods to the stage manager who was waving frantically. “Fuck okay, I wanted to be more romantic but I got to go before they drag me.”

“Go, go,” he kisses her cheek, Y/n moving quickly to kiss her children and hug her managers before waving goodbye. “We love you!!”

Running to the nearly annoyed stage manager, she throws off her robe to reveal her stage outfit and takes the microphone. Heart pounding, she adjusts her earpiece as they escort her to the spot she was needed just as Lady Gaga finished her introduction speech, “Los Angeles and to everyone watching at home, it is my honor to present to you your recipient of this year’s MTV Video Vanguard Award. Get on your feet and make some noise for the one and only, Y/n L/n!!”

It was still dark on stage where Y/n was hidden from the audience as all attention went to the giant screens all around showing the pre-recorded video montage with her face in black and white and eyes closed. The crowd was already going crazy as the camera zoomed in toward Y/n’s face while audio played of her talking about her love for music and the thrill of performing. The camera continued to pan in, the popstar on stage thinking about everything that had led her to that moment. From starting out her days singing in a jazz club, to becoming one of only 19 EGOT winners, and now the recipient of the Video Vanguard award.

The microphone went to her mouth, Y/n putting on the show of the year when the video ended with her eyes opening and voice echoing the music channel’s iconic phrase in the stadium, “I want my MTV!!”

…………

TGM Tag List: @avaleineandafryingpan, @caitsymichelle13, @poppyalice2001, @cutelittlepotatofry, @luckyladycreator2, @americaarse, @elenavampire21, @back-tooo-black

[kimsmuse]

Hiii, I just came across your blog, and I L O V E it! Since you said you were looking for a recommendation, here's one from me. Yandere school president. They have immense power at their school because not only are they the president, but their parents own the school. Their word is quite literally the law at this school. He just so happens to be head over heels in love and obsessed with you. Give in to their obsessive and possessive love or suffer the consequences. Since he holds so much power, he can make you a school outcast in less then a week, and he can have teachers fail you or pick on you for the stupidest reasons ever, he'll make your life a living hell at school if you don't accept his twisted and fucked up love, it's best to just be a good darling, and let yourself be loved on his own terms. It's a concept I've thought about a lot, but I haven't seen much of it. Anyways, thank you for your time, and keep up the good work!!!

okay okay omg first of all your brain???? this way too good and oml now i'm sad i spent my entire school life without a class prez like this :( but let's talk about this !!! this is mildly inspired by this one guy from the kdrama called taxi driver (ep 3) !!!

gender neutral!reader. warnings for obsessive behavior, mentions of killing someone but it's nothing graphic. blackmail/coercion type thing?? and typical yandere behavior.

okay so yandere!class president who is so focused, he's the top student of the grade and he's good at sports too?? captain of the basket ball team?? i don't know how he does it because i really couldn't but anyway even apart from that he keeps on taking part and neatly scoring in debates, and writing contests, you name it and he's doing it. it does happen sometimes that he ends up getting silver or bronze but he's there on the list somehow.

and obviously if you've ever been a teenager then you know how attractive this type of people are, because they're good at everything, because they look very unattainable and bonus for our class president is that he's super hot as well. so obviously he had a classroom filled with admirers. and he loved the attention, who doesn't? but he's never thought more of it than that, the aspect of romance is kinda alien to him, he's had his fair share of physical relationships (if they can be even called that) but none of them too good to stay.

so he keeps on with his day, his cram school, having lunch, dinner, studying, more studying.

and when he bumps into you from his way back from the library, he just stops dead in his tracks as you attempt to pick up the books you both dropped, and when you look up at him he's literally frozen. who are you? why has he never seen you around? why do you look so pretty? hey, where's that romantic instrumental playing from? why-

"hey, mister, are you okay? i didn't hit your head or anything right?"

and trust me when he's the literal embodiment of the ":0" emoji.

anyway, but that guy has never had a crush before so at first he just feels like its some kinda internal intuition? that there's something wrong with you or something.

but then he finds himself trying to find your class, sitting there on the excuse of talking to some friends and obviously he's welcomed there.

and he figures that his initial impression might be a wrong because you were such a sweetheart. not as popular as him, and you stuck to your 2-3 friends but he saw the way you would smile at people - a gentle, warm one. and he quite literally died when you greeted him that way once, surprised that you would know about his existence

it wasn’t that he forgot he was famous but having a crush really does wonders to your self esteem.

also you best believe he's digging up all your information, your past schooling if you've transferred, your parents' background, your social media and duh, where you live, where you work.

and if you work somewhere like a cafè or a convenience store, he's there for half the day, "studying" for exams and stuff, he claims it helps more than studying at home. and all the time his eyes barely register a page because he's looking at you as you're hard at work, helping customers, greeting them with that damned, charming smile and then in rare moments he looks at you as you lose that demeanor and sigh out of exhaustion. poor baby, he wished he could something for you so bad in those moments.

and then comes the part where his friends (he has a lot of friends but he believed that when you have a crush you shouldn’t tell everyone? also given his popularity... he figured it wouldn't be a greatest idea ever. so he only told like a guy or two) they adviced him to just go up to you and ask you out? what's the problem even? he's literally the golden boy of the school, why would someone reject him ever? you shouldn’t even be worried about that, dude! but with that confidence in himself, he decides on a day, nothing too significant and he looks at himself in the mirror.

"uh, actually, i do have a partner," did you hear that? the glass shattering? uh, that was his heart. that was his reaction when you told him this. but it was true, you had a partner in another country (which made sense that the yandere did not come to know of this before because he had been following you, just to make sure you were safe ofcourse, and he did not see a persosn who could classify as a romantic threat) and you loved them very much! no matter how cute and great this guy was, you were loyal to them.

and now cue the yandere's sad era. but only for like a day or two. until he realizes something. this was absurd, you were rejecting him? when so many people would literally kill for something like this? it was unbelievable. but he was deadset, this was the first time he felt this way for someone and he was determind to make you feel the same, or at least keep you with him, and he would do it with any means necessary.

he realized that your friends' parents were mere employees in his dad's company so all it took was one meeting. "stop talking to y/n." for them to start ignoring you and they did not even try to keep it lowkey and you had to resort to sitting alone at lunch, giving an easy access to the guy who used it as a time to sit beside you and tell you about his day, nevermind the fact that for the first few times you would just up and leave. and then you finally decided to just snap.

"what the fuck do you want?" you look at him, frustrated by all these things, and changes happening in your life in less than a week.

he just smirked, that mf had the audacity to smirk? "you, ofcourse,"

now he wasn’t quite violent because he'd just entered adulthood, he did not want to fuck up and spend the rest of his years in jail (not that he actually would because his parents would be hiring the world's best lawyers for him) but he did imagine it, murdering your s/o. he did not know what they looked like, but all they saw was you happy in their arms and as much he loved that little smile of yours, he wanted it to be for himself! not someone else!

so anyway, after you storm out on him after the last conversation, you get your english test results back and a big, red F is staring at you.

and normally your parents weren't grade obsessed but you would boast to them about how good you were at english and how much you loved the subject and even the teacher agreed thaf you were good at it.

when you meet with the teacher after class, he just removes his spectacles and rubs his eyes, "listen, y/n, you're one of the smartest students i've had the pleasure of teaching. so make the right choice, it's good for your future. just say yes to him. he's not bad, you know,"

he was behind this???????

you felt even more utterly helpless when you found that the yandere's parents fund almost more than half of the school so there’s nobody who would be willing to go against them and help you, no matter how much you would plead them.

"a transfer? don't even think about it, baby, nobody is going to issue that certificate unless i say so,"

chills run down your neck as he whispers this. you were truly stuck with him.

[castlebyersafterdark]

do you think mike and will have thought about specific sex positions during their sexual awakening journeys? Like has Mike thought specifically, “I want to tap that” when looking at Will’s 🍑, or maybe also, “Please fuck me” if you believe he’s versatile? Has Will thought specifically about Mike topping him? Are they just a mix of chaotic random horny thoughts? Or are they both way too repressed and sheltered to mediate on specific positions?

Pre-relationship is the angle we're going for, and you bet! There’s repression, but the inevitable freight train of teenage hormones, trying to deny what you want and who you are, the fantasies you can’t ignore, falling in love, falling into confusion. A lot of tension, wet dreams and impulsive thoughts at inopportune moments. What started as vague feelings and stirrings of attraction develop into more specific fantasies. The more they repress and try to ignore, the more the feelings are gonna flare and develop. Chaos is key.

(This is very basic/surface level and something I typed out in a flash over a lunch break recently and just now edited for spelling. Maybe at some point I’ll try my hand at a longer, real fic that’s a character study about how I really view the development of their attraction to one another and refining their sexuality discovery and all of that. I actually think they’d both be a bit different than I’ve jotted down here - for example, so much less self-awareness on Mike’s part haha - but this was just an initial stream of conscious drabble, just as a fun writing exercise 😁😘)

Mike: 

His eyes keep falling to Will's legs. Those shorts. The summer has been a nightmare. Monsters. Death. Break-ups and make-ups and make-outs and break-ups again. And who knows where he stands with El. She stays inside a lot. And they’re leaving soon. Whenever the house sells. He’s been hanging out with Will a lot more, trying to fix their shaky friendship. Everything feels wrong. He feels the most wrong of all. Just one giant error. He feels inside out. Incorrect. You’re supposed to be happy in the summer. Now, it’s confusing and sad and he feels… exposed. 

Like those legs. Mike felt like a newborn giraffe and hated the way he could see the knobs of his knees and the willowy tendons of his calves. Well, hate was a strong word. He just wished he looked more like Will. He saw other guys, and looked at them a lot, too. Couldn’t help the constant comparison and calculations and admiration jealousy. Will looked good. Why couldn’t he look like him? Nice, thick thighs. Actual meat on his bones. His shorts filled out, didn’t house pathetic pencils. Why can’t he stop staring? They’re all growing up and changing. It’s weird. The guys at school were already getting taller, and everyone’s gaining muscle and hair and it’s too much, all the sudden, all at once. They’re going to high school and, shit. Those guys are all gonna be even worse better. And Mike feels so scrawny. And other things. It’s just jealousy, he’s fine. He’s jealous of Lucas’s muscles and Jonathan’s shoulders and Will’s ass. No. That’s not - he wasn’t looking. He’s just jealous. He’s an error. Will looks so different than when they were kids, but he’s still small. Not everywhere. Why can’t he stop looking? 

They’d gone to the pool and he’d laughed along with Dustin and Lucas as they ogled some of their classmates, ranking which girls filled out their swimsuits the best. It’s crude, but they were surrounded by sun and skin. He met eyes with Will and they smiled awkwardly at one another. Brian from their class has abs now and Mike watched him as he cannonballed into the pool. He hopes he does it again, golden in the sun as he poised to jump off the diving board. Mike’s just jealous. He doesn’t have abs. Will doesn’t either, but his skin looks nice. Tan and toned and with this tapered little waist that would be the perfect size to fit your hands around and - Mike needs to get out of the pool. Actually. Stay where you are. Getting out is the last thing he should do. Why is this happening to him right then, right there? Will gets out of the pool and Mike watches the way his already tiny swim shorts cling to that hypnotizing ass that Mike can’t stop staring at. Why does he look so good? How do guys even - no. No. Why is he thinking about that? 

They're in the back of the car, three to the row and a tangle of growing limbs. Will's pressed against the door and practically half in his lap and Mike prays nothing happens, so many unfortunate moments have happened lately where he needs to excuse himself, stay in the water until it goes away, cross his legs. Can't do that pressed together in the back of the car and he tries not to think about pulling his best friend over into his lap. Sure! Great idea! That'll hide his really unfortunately insistent and inappropriate boner, shove it into his best friend's - oh boy, Mike. You are thinking so many things. He's got to get out of that car. 

It's easier at night. No one to judge him or catch him except for his guilty conscience. Hopes no one is using that shitty mind-spying trick because he cannot stop his brain, and it's killing him. It's a repetitive loop of Will in his lap. Will climbing the ladder, walking ahead as they suffer in the heat as they trek up to Weathertop. Will laughing and absently swaying his hips as he leans against the Wheeler's kitchen island. How do guys do it? There's really only one way, isn't there? He's heard it referenced in vague terms on the news, from crude jokes from other boys at school. What would that feel like? Not that he has practical knowledge, but how different is it to doing it with a girl? He slides a hand past the waistband of his briefs and tries to think of his girlfriend or whatever she is at the moment. They talk here and there. Make-out sessions on pause. She’s in mourning. He’s in turmoil. He’s fine. He’s normal. He’s an error. This is fixable. He thinks of the girls at the pool. Neon bikinis. Curvy tanned skin, so much skin. Lip gloss and soft kisses. What’s he even supposed to do with boobs, anyway? They definitely don’t tell you, other than, hey, man! Look at her boobs! He looks. Sex seems complicated. Must be even more complicated for guys but maybe it's actually- NO. Nope. He gets off but it’s unsatisfying. What waits for him in dreams he refuses to acknowledge in the light of day. 

It must be amazing, though, if gay guys were all doing it and risking threat of dying for it. Not that Mike's gay. Nope! Will leaves (and El, his girlfriend? Is she still his girlfriend? They kissed. He thinks she loves him. He doesn’t know what to think anymore. He didn’t say it back. Feels like the biggest, glaring error of all time) and Mike spends all his time alone in the basement. With his stupid traitorous brain and an empty space on the couch. No girlfriend. No best friend. He wishes Will was there. Will in his lap. Will on his knees on the basement floor smiling up at him. His mouth was just as nice to look at as his ass. Stop. No. She's too far away to spy. Is she? How far can she reach? Fuck it. His hand's around himself and it's Will's mouth, it's Will in his lap, kissing him, perfect legs heavy around him. Hot inside. Would he feel like that? Would he feel tighter than Mike's own fist? Will in his bed, in his lap again, wanting it much as Mike because he's just as messed up in the head, no. No he's not. That's all Mike. Will in the kitchen. No one's home. He's swaying those hips again and Mike pulls down those fucking shorts and bends him over the counter, chest to the laminate. He doesn't even know what he's doing but in his dreams they both want it.

Mike shifts to his side on his basement couch, then falls into it, lost to the fantasy. Pillow under his hips, face smashed into to the other one. It's nothing like another body but everyone's so far away, Mike's so alone. Will on his back, making those little squeaking sounds he makes when he laughs too hard. Too hard. Like how Mike was when Will laughed like that over the summer. His breathy little sounds he makes when he's out of breath when they walk too far in the hot sun. It's not too difficult to imagine what he'd sound like under Mike, even if Mike wishes it wasn't so vivid. Legs around Mike's waist as he takes it, however that works. Doesn't matter, Will's not there El's not in his head, he'll feel guilty later. Will would feel so good, does feel so good. Something’s seriously wrong with him. 

How is he supposed to talk on the phone with him at the end of the week? They have a call planned Friday. He's so fucked. 

Will:

He's having that dream again. He never knows it's a dream until he wake up, angry and frustrated and ashsmed about how hung up he is over someone who'll never want him. Shouldn't. Couldn't. It's all fine. This isn't new. They haven't spoken on the phone in almost a month but Will dreams about him most nights. What does he look like now? How tall has he gotten? Their last phone call Mike was complaining about his parents nagging him to cut his hair. Was that forced yet? How long is it? Will's sure it's beautiful. He's sketched his mental image of current Mike over and over in his sketchbook. He rips out and burns half of them. Those aren't appropriate. But he's gotten so good at drawing people. Realistically. Men. Mike. He dreams. 

Mike's visiting him. No one else is around. They're lying on Will's bed, just kissing. He's never kissed anyone real before, but he's kissed his hand. Fist loose, thumb tucked under his fingers. Looks like something else, too, and he practiced kissing that as well. The thought makes him flush hot at same time as cold dread washes over him but he does it anyway. He's a dirty little freak, might as well commit. In his dreams they do that, too. And Mike likes it. Does it back to him, too. Dream Mike always returns the favor, no matter what. Will’s traced his own finger there, pushed inside sometimes with the secret tub of vaseline he's hidden in an old shoebox under his bed. If he does it softly, he pretends it's a tongue, someone else's mouth. Doesn't even know why he's fixated on this, why his terrible mind conjured the idea one night during a dream that woke him with another pair of ruined briefs. But it's not as scary as the other way. All of it. All of Mike. How he knows that he wants it. He's having that dream again. He knows what he is. 

Lost in dreamland, hazy and perfect and terrifying dreamland - Mike is visiting and Will has somehow gotten him into his bed. They're kissing. In dreams no one removes their clothes, they simply disappear. Will want to undress Mike, unwrap his beautiful body like a present, but in his dream they're kissing in his bed and their clothing has disappeared. And Mike wants him, Mike flips them so that Will's under him, completely covered. Legs around his waist, Mike sliding inside. How does that really feel? He's only managed two fingers so far and he just knows it's not enough to pretend that it's Mike. He's scoured the house for something, anything, that might be better than his own fingers and he's got a few fucked up ideas to try now that he's invested in this, too far down this path to pretend otherwise. He's a sick freak, right? And he'd tried not to look at Mike too often. But sometimes, you can tell. He could tell. Dream Mike thrusts inside and Dream Will lets him do it over and over. Everything's beautiful and no one dies. 

Sometimes they're in Mike’s basement. He misses the familiar scent. A sweatshirt of Mike's had gotten mixed in Will's clothes and it smelled like Mike through most of the fall. By December it had smelled like nothing, but he still held it to his face sometimes when he wrapped a hand around himself and pretended. Dream Mike's big hands are on Dream Will's hips now. He thinks about other things, too. Will imagines himself sliding to the floor and using his mouth on him - a lot. Mike tells him such sweet things when he's on his knees. When he's awake he sticks his fingers in his own mouth and also pretends Mike is saying nice things to him in that sweet voice he misses so pathetically much. Telling him how much he likes what Will wants to do for him, what he wants Mike to do to him. When he's finished, Mike says every fear he's ever felt. He's not so sweet, then. Mike wouldn't. He might, if he knew. Will wouldn't blame him. 

He knows some things. Ideas that have been put into his head after he stole that magazine and that book from that shop he found while wandering his new town. He steals things now, just for a kick. Innocent and sweet Will Byers. What's a little petty theft when you've already been to hell and will probably get sent back there? He's not a good person. What would his friends think? He can get away with it, in Lenora. Invisible. No one's watching his every move, whispering under their breath about his family and using one of those names about him, devastatingly accurate. He keeps the stolen items with the rest of his incriminating little hoard. If anyone finds the shoebox, at least it'll all be over for him at once. Fuck it. He flips the glossy pages and the images find him again at night. 

Mike in his dreams looks nothing like the men in the magazines, but the gaps are filled in with their inspiration. A few closely guarded stolen glances while changing out of wet swim trunks at the lake or during that one really awkward sleepover when Mike and Lucas compared - no. He shouldn't have looked. He knew he did. Freak. The men in the magazines almost look ridiculous. But he loves it. Why does it excite him, seeing that? Why is he like this? Dream Mike lays in Will's bed and lets him look all he wants and sometimes that's all he does. Wakes up with the image burned behind his eyelids no matter how hard he blinked, and tears clear nothing. He sketches Mike lounging there, with his magical disappearing clothes without anything. It's a good sketch. He doesn't burn it. Into the shoebox. It's worse than the magazines. 

More often or not when he comes, it's with Mike's name in his mouth and a heavy sob. He turns over into his pillow and cries himself back to sleep and hopes for empty dreams. For once. Give him a break from the taunting of harsh, terrifying truths and impossible realities. Helplessly devoted. Help help help. 

[the-words-we-sung]

Thoughts and pictures - S3E3

The great rewatch of season 3 continues! And we're halfway through with episode 3. As usual, it's probably gonna get a bit long so proceed with caution 😁

And we're starting off with some big big pressure on Wilhelm, for a change... "I don't know if I can handle it" => ma'am, you're the queen, you're an adult, you're his mother. Get a fucking grip!!

How can she put so much pressure on her son's shoulders? I understand that she's unwell, she hasn't grieved Erik's death properly in season 2 so this break down was bound to happen I guess, but how can she (and Ludwig) just abandon Wilhelm like that? And not so long after his speech (and the "trial" with August). Did either of them talk to him about it? About this huge coming out he just did? About how brave he was? One day I'll write a post just about Wilhelm and his parents because I have A LOT of feelings.

And I don't know a lot about how a monarchy works but would Wilhelm really have to step up and replace his mother if she was suddenly unfit to lead, despite being 16? That doesn't make a lot of sense, does it? Especially in this case when Wilhelm has been Crown Prince for very little time (and even needs a special Crown Prince school during summer to learn his duties).

"You wouldn't have been able to handle it. That I can fuck up too" => oh Simon, my sweet sweet boy... I have to say that I really like his scenes with his mother this season, I really needed to see Linda actually act like a mom, and Simon to become more "real" with her. So I love their scenes and dynamic this season!

Is Wilhelm still seeing Boris? Or is he really all alone in dealing with his mother's health and everything else? My boy needs help...

I'm sorry but Simon with helmet hair is just the cutest thing!

But gosh their communication is just so awful this season... On one hand Simon frustrates me a tiny bit because I didn't think he would be so "naive". I mean, of course it must feel truly awful to receive to many hate comments, but he's a teenager who knows how to use social media so I would have expected him to know that these people are trolls and responding to them would lead nowhere? The people writing these are not interested in knowing him or the truth or anything, just in being nasty because it's easy to do so anonymously. But also I guess he's 16. He's super young, I'm probably expecting too much maturity here and not being super fair ><

And on the other hand, Wilhelm also frustrates me because he barely stops to listen and to actually see what Simon is going through. And yeah, he's got the crazy pressure from his family and his mother being unwell but still, he's being very selfish. And he has always had a tendency to be, but it's 10x worst this season ><

(Also why did he not say anything to these mean girls mocking Simon's song when they entered the music room together??)

I'm realizing now that truly, these Boris sessions with Wilhelm and August are really fucked up: the sessions with Boris helped Wilhelm so much last season, he felt safe enough to talk there, to be honest, and he was able to work through the hard stuff in his life. And now they put August there? The person who made him feel unsafe, who recorded him and leaked the video online. They put that person here in his safe place with him? Which might explain why there's no more therapy sessions for Wilhelm this season (outside of the ones with August). It's so fucked up...

Wilhelm is feeling so cornered...

And Simon is breaking my heart... Omar is such a good actor, he portrays sadness way too well, I wanted to cry almost every time I saw Simon in this episode. He's so depressed, thinking everyone hates him, it's hard to watch... Why did season 3 have to be so cruel to him?

It's hard to enjoy the sweet moments between them (this scene for example, which I forgot was gonna happen there :p) when we just had a sad Simon, bad communication between them, Wilhelm being mean to him... It makes it hard (for me) to enjoy the cute scenes because it just feels like a small band-aid put on a gaping wound ><

I really liked that we got to see Felice's dad again, and this scene is so important! I love Felice's decision to go without her dad and to be honest in the end. I still think she should have had a stronger storyline throughout the whole show. She's a great character and she deserved more!!

Sara and Micke singing in the car: 💛 "I'd rather have a papa with bad spells than no papa at all" => I don't know August... I guess it's the eternal dilemma..

Just because he looks so incredibly beautiful here 💜

This Sara and Micke conversation was so important and needed! I really liked that we finally got a bit more information about Micke and what happened to their family.

And another scene that I forgot was happening in this episode ^^' I got too used to seeing the cute (and hot) scenes from this season with gifs here that I know them without the context around :p

Why is it that every time something good happens to Simon this season, it backfires immediately and Wilhem makes him sad about it? 😩

3 more episodes to go, wish me luck >< This season is even more depressing than I remembered ^^'

[spoonsock]

Show me love pt.1

Part 2

Gwen Stacy x fem! Reader

No Spider-woman AU!!

This is basically a retelling of the movie “Show me love (1998)” or “Fucking Åmål (1998)”, I just switched the characters but the plot is practically the same. I only kept Jessica’s name from the movie, I gave the rest of the characters other names. I definitely recommend watching the movie! I also recommend reading the synopsis for it before reading this but it’s not necessary to watch the movie to read this.

This is all soooo chaotic but tbh the whole movie is chaotic so don’t blame me if you simply don’t understand some parts because honestly neither do I🤷‍♀️

Considering that this will only cover up like the first part of the movie, I’ll write a part two and possibly a part three, but only if this gets some attention, which I doubt cuz it’s awfully written but still please lmk if you want me to write the rest 😭🙏

Synopsis: After the death of her best friend, Peter Parker, Gwen Stacy doesn’t do friends. She’s sad and a loner, the quiet, weird girl who sits alone at lunch. But she’s also secretly in love with the popular, beautiful and upbeat Y/N, who yearns for an interesting life.

Warnings: homophobia, underage drinking, mentions of (underage) drug use, has some angsty parts, OOC Gwen, reader and the rest of the characters do not really know how lesbianism works, all the characters are dumb little teenagers don’t expect much maturity in this, not proofread whoops, also wrote this when I was sleep deprived so I guess most of it doesn’t make sense

“Happy birthday to youuuu! Happy birthday to youuu!”

Those were the first words she heard when she woke up. Groaning, she opened up her eyes and sat up straight, smiling at the sight of her dad holding a delicious looking cake in front of her.

“Happy birthday dear Gwen, happy birthday to you”, he sang as she grinned up at him and blew the candles on the cake. “Thanks dad”

He sat down next to her when she noticed he was holding some papers in his hands, aside from the cake. “What’s that?” Gwen asked as he handed her the papers. Birthday invitations. Her smile turned into a frown as she gave him a disapproving look.

“Dad-“ “Before you say anything, please, just consider”, he interrupted her, already knowing what she was going to say. He knew she wasn’t the most social person, especially after the death of her friend, her best friend, Peter Parker. He knew she didn’t have anyone aside from him. Not even the girls from the band she used to be in, before she gave up on that too. But then she lost him, and he saw her whole world fall apart. He watched her lose interest in everything that used to make her happy. He watched her lose her spark. And it pained him so much. But he hoped that maybe, all she needs is a little push. She can’t be alone her whole life. So, a party, he thought, couldn’t be a bad idea.

She looked at him, then down at the invitations, and then back to him. “Dad, I don’t have who to give them to”.

“Honey, you have to find some friends. I know it’s hard after Peter’s de-“ Gwen tensed up at the mention of his name and suddenly moved around on her bed to get up, making the cake almost fall down and smudge everywhere. “Fine, I’ll give them out!”, she rolled her eyes before getting up to get ready for school. “Gwen, you don’t have t-“, he was interrupted once again by the aggressive slamming of the door. The cop sighed sadly.

———————————————

To say that you never had the best relationship with your sister would be an understatement. Sometimes, even the smallest, pettiest things she did would absolutely infuriate you. Today on the repertoire of shit she did that pissed you off was taking the last of the chocolate milk.

“I HATE YOU” you screamed as you poured the containing of her cup right onto her head. “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU??!” She yelled as she grabbed on your hair and threw you on the floor. You kicked and trashed around as your poor mother came in asking what what the hell is happening. “YOU CAN ASK Y/N”, said your sister, Jessica, as she ran out of the kitchen.

“I don’t understand, I am so tired of this! I’ve been working all night!” Your mother said, as you looked down in shame. “Sorry. We didn’t mean to wake you up”

She sighed, “What was it this time?”

“She took the last of the chocolate milk” you answered quietly, feeling guilty. “She took the last of the chocolate milk?” She repeated, disbelief in her voice. You nodded and started swiping the spilled milk off of the floor with a piece of paper with your foot.

You got ready and exited the house, about to make your way to school, when you saw a guy with a moped who you recognized as Jonah.

“Hi”, he said. “Hi, you live here?”. “No, just had to do something here. You want a ride? You can take the helmet” he offered but you rejected, claiming you’ll walk and hoping he’ll leave you alone.

“You coming to Christian’s tonight?”. “Maybe”, you replied while still heading off. You heard him mumble something but ignored it.

—————————————————

Taking out the stuff from her locker, Gwen saw a classmate she acquainted sometimes. She remembered the party invitations before deciding, fuck it, she’ll try. So she went up to the girl in the wheelchair, who’s name was Marie, and gave her the invitation. “Here”, she said, “I’m having a party apparently”. Thanks” replied the girl.

“You? Having a party?”, asked one of the mean, popular girls, who’s name Gwen didn’t know and frankly didn’t want to know. “No”, she said quickly and tried to stop the girl from taking the invitation from Marie, but she wasn’t fast enough. The bitch took the card and started teasing Gwen, but she grabbed the invitation back and shooed her off. She was about to go back to her locker when she heard a certain voice. Your voice.

“Jessica, I’m so sorry, I’m such a fool. I promise to never spill chocolate milk on you”, you hugged your sister tightly and continued to apologize, feeling genuinely sorry. Gwen didn’t know what it was about you that made her like you. She wrote songs about you, she wrote about you in her diary, she dreamed of you and all that stupid shit. It made her so confused. You had a reputation of being with so many guys, it didn’t make sense to her as to why she was so attracted to you of all people. But it is what it is, and she continued to stare at you as you talked to your sister.

In class, she wrote your name over and over in her notebook, drawing stars and hearts around it, while you were bored to death in another classroom, not even attempting to listen to what the teacher was droning on about.

During lunch, you sat with your “friends” and talked about how you wanna go to a rave or something, complaining about how bored you are, unaware of the certain blonde staring at you, sitting a few tables away, next to Marie. “You are so boring!”, you exclaimed to no one in particular before laying your head on the table.

“We could go to Gwen’s party”, one of your associates, the very girl who teased Gwen just a few hours ago, mentioned. You knitted your eyebrows together in confusion. “Which Gwen?”

“Gwen, aren’t you having a party?”, the girl turned to Gwen and sneered at her, while she tried not to listen to the bitch.

“Everything is so boring! I hate my life!”, you cried out, ignoring whatever was happening around you.

“Gwen!”, the mean girl continued yelling at the blonde as she got up. “Gwen, we’ll come to the party!”. Gwen flipped her off and ran out of the cafeteria. You didn’t bother to raise your head even when the other girls from your table started yelling at the blonde.

——————————————

“Mum, it isn’t a rave, it’s just a normal party!”, Jessica tried explaining to your mother, who caught you both in the lift while you were half naked. To elaborate, you have no mirror in your house so to see what you look like you have to use the mirror in the escalator. You were getting ready to go to Christian’s, you took off your pants in the lift, looking at yourself in the mirror, waiting for Jessica, who you told to bring you your skirt, but she forgot, and as the two of you were arguing in the lift, the door of it opens and reveals your mother who sees you hiding behind your sister in a tank top and underwear and throws a tantrum, saying you can’t go out.

“You can stay here together and have fun, while I’m at work. I bought chips and soft drinks”

“Well done, Y/N. Welcome home”, your sister says sarcastically making you roll your eyes.

The moment your mother leaves you start rummaging through the medicine cabinet, complaining how you wanna do drugs. “None of those will do anything”, Jessica retorts making you pout and spit out the random pill you put in your mouth. “I’ll do something else then. I’ll fall in love”, “I thought you already were. With that Italian guy?”, “He wasn’t Italian. Maybe Bosnian. Whatever. I’m not in love with him”, you speak as you lay your head on your sisters lap when suddenly the phone rings. Jessica answers and says it’s the guy you saw this morning, Jonah. “He wants to know if you’re coming to Christian’s. He’s in love with you.” You make a sour face. “Ugh!” You groan. “What? I thought you wanted to fall in love?”, “Not with Jonah Hult! There’s no way I’m going to Christian’s now. I’d rather go to Gwen’s”

Your sister turns to you with wide eyes, “To Gwen’s? Are you braindead or what?” You throw a hairbrush at her. “What if there’s nice guys there?”, “At Gwen’s?”, your sister asks again. “Might be! Please!!” You give her your best puppy eyes and she looks at you before tsking “Fine, fine”. You squeal in happiness and kiss her cheeks.

—————————————

Gwen and her dad sit in their living room in an awkward silence.

“No one’s coming dad, let’s just eat”. “Have some patience Gwen”, he tries lightening her up. Soon enough the doorbell rings and it’s Gwen’s classmate, Marie. Chief Stacy helps her with her wheelchair and they all sit together in the living room. Gwen opens up the present Marie got her, a bottle of perfume, before saying how she can’t accept it. Something snaps inside her before she yells at Marie, calling her a crippled idiot and saying how she never even wanted to be her friend, while her dad tries to stop her. Marie goes home and Gwen storms to her room. Her dad tries to comfort her while she cries and yells at him, about how she has no friends, about Peter’s death, about something being wrong with her, about wanting to die. She lays there as chief rubs her back not knowing what to do or to say, then finally proposing to go eat the special dinner he prepared for her party when she calms down.

They eat peacefully until the doorbell rings again and Gwen shakes her head, telling her dad to not let in whoever’s there. He tells her to put away the dishes while he tells off the people who came. Gwen does as told then goes to the bathroom to wash her face. Her eyes are puffy and red from crying and she looks like a mess. She hasn’t looked this bas since Peter’s death.

————————————————

You ring the doorbell a couple of times. No one answers and Jessica urges you to leave it, until the door opens and, the person you suppose is Gwen’s father, let’s you in. He gives you some wine and tells you to wait in Gwen’s room so you go up there. You fill up your two glasses with wine and clink them together while looking around the room. It’s filled with posters on the walls, there are many cds and books on the bookshelf, and there is a drum kit in the very middle of it all.

“What party is this? Are we the only ones?”, your sister asks you and you shrug. “Why complain, Jess? We’ve got wine and everything”, you smile at her. “Yes but like…….Okay, we’ll drink the wine and leave”, “Deal”, you say as you continue to sip on it happily.

Unbeknownst to you, Gwen gets out of the bathroom to see her dad sitting on the couch, watching the TV. “Wasn’t someone there?”, she asks. “Yes, but they weren’t hungry so I gave them some wine and sent them to your room”. Confusion arises in her “And who was it?”. “Y/N and Jessica”. At the mention of your name, panic wakes in Gwen.

Meanwhile, in her room, you see some notebooks sprawled across her work table so you rummage a bit through them, but one of them falls down and opens on the floor, giving you access to what’s inside and the contents of it do surprise you. Inside of it are written poems and you can tell they’re beautiful even though you don’t get to read them fully because you suddenly hear the door knob shuffling. But whoever is trying to enter is unable. “What the-, open the door!”, you hear from the outside.

“Did you lock the goddamn door?”, you turn to Jessica but she just gives you a look and starts giggling. She runs to the door, “I’m just ummmm….I’m just-I’m just changing!”, she tells Gwen on the other side and you accidentally let out a loud chuckle. “You’ve got a skirt on!”, you whisper-yell at her while still trying not to laugh. Gwen sighs and leans on the door, waiting for you to finish changing, apparently.

“Have you heard she’s a lesbian?”, Jessica asks you. “What! Really?”, you reply and your sister makes gagging noises saying how that’s gross.

The wine made you a little tipsy and you don’t think it through before you start speaking to the door.

“Gwen, is it true that you-“, Jessica quickly covers your mouth while giggling her ass of with you.

“Aren’t you done yet?”, comes from the other side of the door and Jessica tells her you guys will be finished in a second.

“I think it’s cool”, you say and receive a blank stare from your sister. “Cool? Are you serious?”, “Yeah. I’m gonna be one too when I grow up”. “Come on”, your sister tsks at you.

“Open up now!”, Gwen yells and you turn to Jessica. “Let her in, she’s nice”

“If she’s so nice, go out and neck her then, Y/N”, she challenges you and you chuckle.

“Okay. And what do I get if I do?”, “If you do what?”, “If I neck her.”, “You’ll get AIDS probably”, your sister says matter of factly.

“If I kiss her, will you give me 100 bucks?”, she laughs and your request and offers 20 bucks, to which you agree and tell her she’ll have to leave.

“You won’t dare to do it, though”, she sneers and you whisper bet to her as you unlock the door and let the blonde in and your sister out. She doesn’t even acknowledge Gwen as she leaves the two of you alone in the room.

“Hi”, you tell her and she says hi back while picking up the notebook from the floor and putting it away. She leans on her worktable and avoids eye contact with you while you intently stare at her. The wine made your vision just a tad bit blurry, but even through clouded eyes you still admire the blonde’s beauty.

“Why can’t you sit over here?”, you ask referring to her bed on which you are sitting. “Why, what for?”, she asks back with suspicion laced in her voice. “There’s something I wanna tell you”, you answer knowing damn well you ain’t got nothing to say, you just want the 20 bucks.

“Can’t you just say it?”, she crosses her arms and you look around, catching Jessica’s eyes. She’s in front of the room watching you through the crack of the slightly opened door. You try not to smile when you see her and put a fake pout on your face. “I-I just don’t want Jessica to hear it”, you fake out a stutter, inwardly laughing at how stupid you sound.

She looks at you for a second before mumbling a fine and sitting next to you. “It’s just that”, you move closer to her. “You’re so pretty”, her eyes widen slightly when you say that but before she can react, you grab her face and kiss her passionately. She finally starts returning the kiss as the butterflies erupt in her stomach but you accidentally catch Jessica’s stare again and suddenly break contact with Gwen and run out of the room. Your sister grabs your hand, “Jesus, Y/N, you’re insane! That’s is so disgusting!”, she laughs as you two leave the house and run as far as you can, leaving Gwen in her room to process what just happened.

You kissed her. Y/N kisses her. But then you ran away. Your laughter and Jessica’s words suddenly echo in her mind. “That is so disgusting!” All the butterflies disappear from her tummy and that awful feeling in settles in her gut. She feels…humiliated. She guesses you probably ran of to all of your stupid bitch friends to tell them how you kissed Gwen and how stupid she probably looked.

Tears appeared in her eyes. She wanted to scream and to yell and to beat you the fuck up for making a fool out of her. But you were God knows where laughing and making fun of her. Gwen laid down on her bed and let out all of her tears, as if she hasn’t cried enough already tonight. This was the worst birthday ever.

LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT A PART TWO CUZ I AIN’T WRITING THAT FOR NO ONE!

I’m impulsively posting this and I’ll regret it in the morning.