#when i tell you i literally screamed when this happened

[escapisttt]

make up sex

porter runs. he always runs, but he never comes back. what will happen now that he finally has?

cw: nsfw! smut with plot read the title lol, mentions of a previous argument, some hostile dialogue

authors note: was interesting writing gender neutral smut for the first time but it’s literally not hard so anyone who tells you it is is either selfish, lazy, or uncreative.

word count: 3.6k (also the exact length of my only other redacted fic okay)

steam billowed all around the bathroom, penetrating every surface with moisture and sticking to the large rectangular mirror. treasure began undressing themself with lumbering movements, constantly tipping over left and right. after trying to take their slippers off while standing up, they again became unsteady and caught themself on the sink basin. they chuffed. when was the last time they drank like this? every time they went to a bar, they had their friends to look after. nothing’s quite as lame as being the designated driver, they thought. to them, that was another indication of their plainness; they weren’t fun enough to party with. instead, they were left to scroll on their phone while sitting on a barstool, catching themself gazing wistfully up at the chalkboard drink menu. but tonight they had indulged. not at a bar, but alone on their armchair, sipping wine and watching their ceiling go in and out of focus. they knew they’d had enough when they watched the ceiling slowly bend, rise, and fall as if there were a pair of lungs under the plaster.

once they were fully bare, they carefully stepped under the scalding water. they flinched and then froze, willing themself to not back away. they weren’t the one to run. they wouldn’t run.

they closed their eyes and let the burning water hit their front. they could already feel their chest turning a darker, uglier color. but they wouldn’t step back. they wouldn’t turn the temperature down. it felt good, the heat. images of him flashed through their mind, causing their brow to furrow in helpless frustration. his hands, his fingertips, his breath, it was all so hot. they had never felt so much heat before him. now though, they had been left cold for days. just like the outings with their ‘friends.’ after he slammed the door and ran, they were back on a lonely barstool. cold. freezing. they’d never felt so much ice before him, either.

a figure hovered in front of the bathroom door. the smell of hair conditioner wafted to the creature’s senses, his red irises eclipsed by black need. the smell called to him, screamed his name. but he shouldn’t even be there in the first place. the instinct, the guilt, the aroma—what was the matter with him? he’d fed on some poor soul minutes ago and still couldn’t focus? he wrapped his hand around the doorknob and squeezed. they weren’t singing like they usually do. was that his fault? he closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against the door, focusing harder. a foul, shocking odor struck him. alcohol in their blood? was that his fault?

treasure heard the door creak open and yelped. before they could peek around the curtain…. “it’s me, darling. are you drunk?” they stayed silent and felt their fear morph into a melancholic frustration. any other well adjusted member of society would be full of terror and adrenaline if someone suddenly appeared in their home, but porter ripped away that sense of normalcy long ago. the mere sound of his voice caused an irritation, never mind him calling them ‘darling’ again. they rolled their eyes.

“what on earth are you doing here?! i thought you’d at least have the sense to throw away the key,” they spat coldly. porter’s shoulders shrank a little and he looked down at the tile. usually he would remark that he didn’t need a key anyway, but that attitude was exactly what had earned him this mess. his voice was low and small.

“you want rid of me that much?”

the rushing water dampened his sound a bit, but treasure could easily tell he was being wary and... something else. they pulled the curtain back just enough to reveal their head and took in the sight of him. a black blazer with a scarf, as usual, except his slacks were wrinkled. and his hair wasn’t even gelled. odd. they leaned against the shower wall as to not lose their footing and played off their disorientation by scoffing at him, ignoring his question. “did your king take away your wares too? you look shitty.” porter didn’t laugh, and he certainly didn’t miss the indignation behind the word ‘king.’ he approached and loomed over them, masking his annoyance.

“please, enough about him. you’re drunk.”

they scoffed again and went back to their shower routine, rinsing the rest of their hair. they didn’t close the curtain though. porter took the subtle invitation and leaned against the drywall, watching them through the gap in the curtain. he widened it a bit with his hand and started again. “i can fix that for you. give me your hand and you’ll be sober.” porter never knew them as one to indulge so heavily. he didn’t want to push as to why they had drank because he had a feeling it would only make them blow up at him, but he couldn’t deny there was a part of him that wanted to prod. the way they prodded him. but not this time.

treasure mulled over his words and extended their hand without looking back at him. they of all people knew how senseless drunk conversations can be. porter gently took their hand and tried not to linger on how whole it made him feel. using magic, he traced the excess amounts of alcohol in their bloodstream and dissipated it. he stood watchfully, trying not to overstep but wanting desperately to keep hold of them during the jarring sobering. they wobbled on their feet with their eyes closed for a moment before opening and snapping their gaze back at him. there was the alertness they were lacking. “clearer?” he asked, to which they gave him a curt nod.

now that they were in their right mind, they scanned over his form once more: he wasn't a drunken illusion. an awkward silence fell over the pair. treasure's eyes flitted back and forth between porter and the shower wall. when porter didn't take the hint, they eventually spoke up. “get in if you want. you just look stupid standing there,” they mumbled, yanking the curtain shut.

porter’s clothes instantly phased away as he yielded to the insult and stepped into the enclosed space. he stayed opposite of treasure and kept his back pressed against the wet tile, his arms wrapped around his middle. treasure threw him a look over their shoulder, snickering dryly. “you only have good manners after we fight?” the vampire let out an amused huff from his nostrils and hung his head.

“it seems it always takes something drastic to make me learn, yes.”

treasure turned around fully and reached for their body scrub, looking up at him as they bent down. their gaze was steely but their lips were tempting. “well i haven’t heard a ‘sorry,’ so do i have to beat one out of you?” they joked humorlessly.

those words caused the flame of guilt to lick at porter’s skin once more. ‘beat one out of him’—were they being sarcastic at their own expense? the inhuman strength in every muscle fiber in his body told him yes. god, he used that against them in their argument. he talked down to them, using ‘human’ as an insult, shoving in their face how much power he held over them. he didn’t start the fight, but he didn’t have to finish it like that. he’d never harm them, but he gave them such a strong implication that he could and made them feel bad about it. he called them stupid for even being with him, made himself out to be a monster they needed to run from. but they both knew porter was the one who was running. even so, in all of porter’s long existence, treasure was the first thing he’d ever ran back to. he could lose everything, but not them.

porter took a small step forward with his head still hanging and motioned for the container of body scrub. treasure gave him a puzzled look. the vampire sighed and took another step, gently taking the container from their hand and setting it down. “treasure, i….” he considered their choice of words again. he finally raised his head and looked into their eyes. “you can—you can do anything you want to me. i’m very sorry for what i said, but… whatever satisfies you. whatever gives you power.”

the vampire in front of treasure was not one they easily recognized. his eyes were nearly-black orbs and shone with desperate longing. porter solaire was a slighting creature, who was this? it was porter, just porter. treasure gave him a slow nod. “make it up to me.”

the vampire’s eyes lit up and he swiftly made his move. his lips attached to treasure’s neck, fangs firmly retracted. this wasn’t about him, nothing tonight was about him. his hands slid up the wet slopes of their hips and waist. a trapped moan escaped him when he felt them like that. he was touching god and it was burning, but he loved it. his kisses trailed across their neck and up their chin, aiming for their perfect lips. but when he tried to reach them, a resounding smack echoed in their steamy enclosure. porter blinked and his head was whipped around to the right, a red hot sting on his cheek. treasure’s hand returned to grip his jaw and pointed his head forward at them.

“i didn’t give you permission to kiss me. you think you deserve my lips?” porter could’ve cum right there. he shook his head.

“no, no i don’t. can i earn it?” his voice was like nothing they had heard before.

“you can. do what i said and make it up to me. you know what i like.”

porter nodded once more before sinking to his knees, his hands slipping down their body reverently. he groaned at the smell of their arousal, his eyes rolling back and then locking back onto theirs. he briefly recalled the night they first met. if only he had known how mad he would go for the taste of what was in front of him.

the vampire pressed light kisses around their groin with his eyes remaining trained on theirs. just how they like it. “i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm so sorry,” he repeated in between kisses. treasure's hand came down to muss up his hair and his erection twitched. they nodded at him with a pleased grin and gave him a tug as a reward. his precum dribbled onto the grout.

shortly, porter's efforts made it so treasure leaked more of their own arousal; that was porter’s cue. he licked a long stripe upward, collecting their slick on his flattened tongue and letting out a whine at their salty taste. he quickly dove in for more, moaning louder than treasure. his hands were planted firmly in his lap, not touching himself or the beauty before him; he knew he wasn’t deserving of doing either. treasure smiled and leaned their head back, their hips bucking in a smooth rhythm against his mouth. porter could cry at their movement—the gorgeous fluidity and the signal that he was giving it to them right.

nothing ever felt as right as when he was giving them pleasure. he couldn’t count how many nights he would spend god knows where, making god knows who disappear; it wasn’t in his nature to bring anything but pain. he was a sinner through and through, but that first night with treasure at skyside, he thinks, he began repenting. he found religion in every breath they took, every twitch of ecstasy he fed them. he felt holy at their feet.

“porter, i’m so close,” they gasped, causing the vampire’s dead heart to pound. he nodded emphatically, shaking his head side to side just to give them that extra stimulation. his desperate moans also sent vibrations to their sensitive flesh, setting their nerves alight. their grip on his hair was lethal and porter’s arousal was reaching a tipping point. he no longer had control over himself; treasure was pushing and pulling and holding his face flush against them until any normal human would’ve suffocated. porter’s mind was going hazy as if he was, his true feelings emerging from thoughtless bliss.

“i could die,” he panted as he gazed up at them, “let me die like this.” they climaxed only a second later.

ambrosia seeped onto porter’s tongue and he drank piously, catching every drop. treasure’s wanton whimpers and breaths filled the vampire’s ears and he couldn’t have been happier. he knew this is where he belonged, and he wouldn’t ever forgive himself for nearly forsaking it.

treasure finally let go of porter’s hair and he whined at the loss. they chuckled breathlessly and patted their chest, signaling that they wanted to be eye to eye. the vampire quickly stood, hissing quietly when his painful erection brushed up against their stomach. he swallowed at the closeup view of their blissed-out face; their eyes were in a lazy, seductive droop, but their grin was what ensnared him. he hadn’t seen one in days and now he’d earned one back, no matter the sadistic undertones behind it. they reached a hand out and cupped his cheek, smiling wider when his eyelids fluttered at the touch. porter didn’t notice their hand sneaking down to grip his base and his eyes shot open once he felt it.

“i’m assuming you want this taken care of?” they teased, tapping his cock against their stomach. he groaned pathetically, putting his hands on the wall behind them. he gripped at nothing, fingers clenching and unclenching around nothing and trying not to crack the tile. hovering over treasure was a beast of incomprehensible strength, holding himself back for one reason: forgiveness.

“treasure… i’m begging you.”

their wolfish grin slowly faded as they leaned in closer, squeezing his cock harshly. “and you’ll keep begging until i forgive you.” with that, they released him and shut off the water, promptly snatching their towel and stepping onto the floor mat without him. they left the bathroom before he could even process what they said.

the vampire blinked and hurried after them, bare and dripping wet. treasure was already laying on their back in bed, equally naked and damp. their towel was beneath them and they gazed at him expectantly. porter’s eyes widened as he realized what they wanted. he could hardly believe it. with vampiric speed, he was on his knees over them in a split second. their legs were spread and knees bent up, the sight making him look away and curse. god, he couldn’t take it. but treasure wasn’t having that. a smack to the thigh and his eyes were snapped open.

“you’ll look at me when you fuck me, or i’ll make you stop. don’t even fucking blink,” they threatened lowly. porter moaned but nodded, leaning down to be closer to them. without breaking eye contact, he spat on his fingers and rubbed it on their entrance, hoping to please them again. they sighed airily and reached down for his cock, unexpectedly prodding themself with it. porter gasped and almost lost his balance, catching himself on the pillow next to their head. they snickered and rolled their eyes, easing his length inside of them. it was still faster than porter ever started off, and he showed his unpreparedness by cursing and gripping their sheets. they swiftly got him fully seated and let them both settle into it, their gummy walls hugging porter’s cock snugly. he looked as if he was containing a scream.

“t-treasure you—gods, you could’ve hurt yourself doing that,” he heaved, his chest rising and falling as he tried not to cum. in response, they dug their nails into the small of his back and raked down to his ass, watching his head roll back and his mouth gape. always a sucker for pain, scratches were his favorite kryptonite. treasure had an unreadable look and gave the command he had been yearning for.

“i’m fine, just fuck me. don’t you dare go slow.”

porter was mildly concerned by their order, but he had to give them what they wanted. he would rather die than not. his hips pulled back until just his tip was inside before coming back down, thrusting smoothly into them. the sinful sound of his hips smacking into the back of their thighs drove them both wild. treasure’s nails only sank deeper into his skin, causing porter’s own wobbly grin to emerge. he fucked them faster, egged on by the delicious sting. he lowered himself more so their bodies were flush. their nipples rubbed against his chest and he panted in their ear, “like this, my love? tell me, please tell me i’m giving you what you want. fuck….”

in their own rapture, they nodded and turned their head to smile back at him. their words were mere breathy puffs of air. “uh-huh… yes, god yes. don’t stop ‘til i cum.” as if porter would’ve done otherwise.

treasure was making such a mess of themself it was audible. the vampire looked down and saw the telltale shiny slick, whining in their ear at the sight. they were so turned on for him. he put his weight on his left forearm which rested above their head and used his free hand to snake down their stomach, reaching their leaking essence. he put the pad of his thumb on their most sensitive spot and stroked up and down, up and down, earning strangled, surprised moans. his eyes bore into theirs as he continued his ministrations while fucking them, his expression one of a dog that just performed a trick for its owner: hopeful, eager, and aching for approval. “fuck, that’s how you like it…. i’ll make you cum, i’ll make you cum so fucking hard, treasure.”

the vampire was reaching speeds only his kind are able to, making treasure’s thighs ripple in ways they hadn’t felt before. porter never had a reason to fuck them this good before, and now that he was, they didn’t think they could ever go back. their body was bouncing as they lay down, mouth agape with licentious sounds pouring out. they hated that their hostility had crumbled under his hips, but they knew they’d have hated themself more if they pushed him away. right then, they just wanted to cum on his cock.

the bed frame squeaked and slid against the floor, banging against the wall. porter’s tempo was perfect, so fucking good against that sweet spongy spot inside them, his tip kissing it over and over. he didn’t know how he was holding it together. “i’m getting close, treasure. fuck, you have to cum, you have to,” he choked out in a frenzy. his thumb rubbed and stroked them faster, his hips losing rhythm but gaining speed. somehow through their pleasure-blinded haze, treasure looked porter in the eyes and raked their nails once more down his back. fuck, he wished he could scar.

“mm, beg me. beg for my cum,” they demanded with a groan. porter felt himself instantly melt under their authority and he whined in frustration, his knees almost buckling at their words. he fucked them faster and complied.

“fuck, please treasure! i need your cum, i fucking need it! i can’t—i can’t cum before you, i don’t deserve it. you have to cum for me, m-my love. i’ll never fucking raise my voice at you again, never. gods, oh my gods, please please please cum!”

he looked in their eyes the whole time, beggarly and despairing. treasure couldn’t help but succumb to all of the pleasure he was throwing at them. a few deep, swift thrusts later and they were creaming all over him. they went stiff and their mouth dropped open in a silent scream. porter felt their hole clench and pulse around him, effortlessly sending him down the same path. his cum pumped inside of them in thick ropes of ivory. he buried his head in their neck and let out a continuous string of groans and whimpers, hips shallowly bucking with each spurt of cum. his thumb never stopped stroking even as treasure reached the end of their climax. they enjoyed that slight bit of overstimulation, so they didn’t stop him. it was endearing how focused he was on making them feel good even in the throes of his own ecstasy.

porter eventually finished and collapsed beside them, eyes shut and breaths heavy. treasure remained on their back and stared up at the ceiling just as they were before he arrived. though, they were now drunk on him instead of wine. his cum steadily oozed out of them and they briefly thanked themself for having the foresight to put the towel underneath them.

“you’re cleaning this up,” they mumbled, breaking the silence. porter had practically rendered their shower useless, after all. the vampire cracked an eye open and wore a neutral expression.

“of course i am, my sweet, but in a moment. i missed this,” he replied evenly. treasure simply nodded and went back to staring upward. their gaze shifted to the ceiling fan and focused on a single fan blade, following it through each slow revolution. they felt a hand cautiously slide across their stomach, ending up cupping their side. porter scooted closer to them and held them like that, almost balling himself up in the fetal position beside them. they didn’t look over at him. they were afraid if they did, they would break. a part of them was still upset at him and knew they would confront him again, but the larger part told them that now was not the time. if they looked over at him now, they knew they would forget why they were even mad at him in the first place. for now, in this moment, they would let sleeping dogs lie and bask in the arms of a creature who would do anything for them, knowingly or not.

@vind3miat0r :)))

[wandasaura]

okay but what was R’s best orgasm that happened last Christmas? 👀 from your latest fic

this is from two months ago… i have no idea what fic we’re talking about so i’m just gonna tell you about ducky’s best orgasm… so… i hope thats okay with you

well to start, it’s somewhat of a competition (war) in the maximoff-romanova household. natasha claims that from her perspective, she gives you the best orgasms. she will analyze the patterns in your behavior over the course of months, just so when the conversation gets brought up again — which it inevitably always does — she can clap back at wanda with admissible proof that physically, she provides the best orgasms. she will also never shy away from bragging about how you turn to absolute mush in her arms after a scene, how you come undone so beautifully and give yourself to her entirely. because while she’s trying to factually assert her superiority, she’s also just a lesbian fucking her girlfriend really good… like really good (verbatim what she screamed across the living room at wanda during one rehashing).

wanda doesn’t even bother to bring her own facts to the discussion despite knowing natasha will pry at her like she’s on the stand for murder, she’s so confident in herself that she lets natasha just argue at her, sometimes natasha’s been going at her with facts for something close to three minutes, and wanda will just get so fed up with her wife that she sets her glare on ducky, accent thicker than all hell, and simply remind ducky of her title, of how she’s mommy. poor girl folds instantly every time and natasha just stomps away in frustration, although she’s literally thinking about wanda gives her some of the best orgasms of her life… which then prompts her to think that she really couldn’t pick between ducky or wanda.

this is natasha’s roman empire actually. she’ll randomly be sending emails and will just sit there and contemplate how ducky and wanda give her pleasure in such different ways. in the soft moments she steals with ducky, ducky always gravitates towards her thighs, while wanda will take her time up top. and then she gets horny and ends up texting wanda, which then just leads to them all teasing each other and pissing each other off because all three of them are meant to be doing their actual jobs… i’m telling you it’s literally all in good fun though. they’re lawyers… i think they just have a fear of losing their skill if they stop arguing and rebutting… poor ducky actually, sometimes they’re just so… in it… she knows she’d never survive actually seeing them in action

but ducky! she is just like natasha when it comes to organizing the facts and fantasizing about fucking her girlfriends on the daily . she will tell you when the best orgasm of her life occurred specifically (because she’s the only one who actually knows how to directly answer a question, or rather, the only one who didn’t endure like seven years of law school and cannot be bothered with stupid banter), but she has three categories and events.the first category is natasha, the second category is wanda, and the third category is the orgasms when they do it together.

natasha’s best orgasm was in the winter time the semester after they extended the contract. ducky was stressed, exhausted, overworked, honestly you name it, the poor girl was it. she was at the point where she had so many things going through her mind, and she was so tired that she was energized. she was staying on campus because the workload was getting to be too much to balance with a commute and an internship, and in a few weeks she’d somewhat stopped communicating with wanda and natasha. they talked on the phone, sometimes they’d go up to visit ducky whenever their breaks aligned with a gap in her schedule, but she was so preoccupied with a million other things that she just couldn’t give them a piece of her. she barely was herself with the sleep deprivation and the stress. she turned up at the house at eleven, searching for wanda. she was an absolute brat to natasha, huffing and rolling her eyes, getting annoyed when she kept being told that wanda was busy — which she was. there was a major issue in a contract that needed immediate attention. definitely not the kind of thing they could delegate or allow to sit on a desk — but ducky just wasn’t getting it. natasha was full on daddy mode at that point, and after an hour of teasing and edging and spanking, she finally let ducky cum as wanda walked into the bedroom.

wanda’s best orgasm is on the shore. they’d both been woken up around the same time in the middle of the night and been unable to fall back to sleep before tourist season, and so they’d sporadically decided to make a trip down to the shore to make the most of their early start to the day to see the sunrise. all they brought was a towel… which it is not ducky, nor wanda’s, proudest moment that they got so caught up in a makeout session that wanda fingered ducky on a towel in the middle of a public beach (granted it was empty) at 3 in the morning. it wasn’t even the most physically overpowering orgasm, but it was the way wanda somewhat collapsed on top of her afterward and nuzzled her face into her neck, giggling and mumbling about they’d just acted like horny teenagers. it was a rare moment where it was only wanda with ducky. it’s so hard for wanda to let go of everything, of mommy, of lawyer, of dominant. she craves the control, the discipline, and she panics when she doesn’t have it, so she’s always compensating for something, trying to mask the vulnerabilities she doesn’t want known. ducky just felt so loved in that moment, she doesn’t care that wanda’s also eaten her out until she passed out… but it’s also definitely up there.

and the best together orgasm was on her birthday. they’d been teasing her all fucking day. like all day. wanda woke her up by fingering her, natasha then insisted on showering together and washing her body for her, which was just a lot of lingering touchy feely, and then wanda had laid her accent on thick all through breakfast, uttering the most sickly sweet near condensing praise out of nowhere. thats what really got ducky, was how they’d be having a conversation and wanda would just… absolutely melt her brain. and then at lunch natasha snuck up behind ducky, hugging her tight, and not so subtly grinding her strap into ducky’s ass. and then wanda AND natasha had been touchy feely annoying teases during dinner and the drive home. and then took turns fucking her when they got home. to the point where she was basically mush until the following afternoon? yeah ducky thinks about that a lot

anyways ducky’s actual answer is wanda. she refuses to admit this tho. wanda literally knows tho

[completeoveranalysis]

[6]

SCREAMING FOREVER OK EVERYONE SIT DOWN

Since the literal beginning of all this the big hanging question behind Clow Reed has always been, “Is this the same one or a different one?”

And under that question came infinite other questions such as, “How could this be the same one if he died ages ago?” and “Is this an Alternate Universe Clow Reed- oh god how many Clow Reeds could there possibly be?!”, and even “Is this a Clow Reed Clone? Or was the CCS Clow Reed a clone all along?!?!” and on and on into forever.

ENTER: THE MOST SIMPLE ANSWER OF ALL. 

IT’S JUST THE SAME GUY. 

THIS WAS THE CLOW REED FROM CARDCAPTOR SAKURA ALL ALONG. 

And I’m just LOSING MY MIND because that means a huge part of Cardcaptor Sakura is centered on a lie. 

Or like, not REALLY a lie. It’s still true that he's dead. But Clow Reed lied to everyone he left behind, and those are all the people we get our answers from in that series. He told them he was going to die and they believed him.

I suppose he could have phrased it ambiguously? But if he DID it was with the intent that they thought he was dead, because that's what they think. He told them that on purpose.

AM I GOING TO GO DOWNSTAIRS AND FACT CHECK WITH CARDCAPTOR SAKURA? ... YES. OK.

OK OK OK OK HERE WE GO KERO SAYS THEY SAW HIM DIE. There we go, 100% he lied to them and even made it look convincing.

WAIT HAVE YOU READ CARDCAPTOR SAKURA? DON’T WORRY LET ME TELL YOU EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW. (But if you don’t want spoilers for everything before Clear Card just skip the rest of this post). 

So the ENTIRE narrative of Cardcaptor Sakura centres on the fact that Clow Reed is dead. He died and left Yue and Keroberos in charge of the Clow Cards and their legacy. (Which is what is being depicted in the Top Left of this page. It's the conversation Clow had with Kero and Yue when he suddenly announced it to them). He died and left a family legacy for Syaoran to eventually inherit - however distantly, we don’t actually know. He died and had foreseen Cardcaptor Sakura, and left gifts and hints for her to continue his legacy and eclipse it. He died and his magic as a power source was dying all these years later, which was why she had to convert the cards, to save them, and Kero, and Yue. 

EXCEPT, HE DIDN’T DIE. 

Or at least, he didn’t die right away. He told Yue and Kero that he was going to die (and made them think they SAW it) and then FUCKED OFF to the Clow Kingdom to live there happily and raise Sakura and Touya there. 

WHICH. I am hung up on because that means in Clow's original reality, which is essentially our world, he had foreseen his death and that Cardcaptor Sakura was going to become his successor - and then, I guess, found out about the big Time Reset Wish that Evil Wolverine did for Lava Lamp, which trapped an alternate version "Sakura" in a Frozen bubble of time that would leave a new 'cloned' copy of her in the new version of the timeline. But that means Clow also would have had a vision of what happens to this new version of the Alternate Sakura, and the huge fate that lay ahead of her, and also that she did not have parents anymore, and so he was like, "AH YES A JOB FOR ME? Let me just tell everyone who loves me that I’m dead and slip over there for like ten years and ride that out." 

But not only that but CLOW REED IS IN CARDCAPTOR SAKURA TOO. HE IS THERE. HE IS ERIOL AND HE IS FUJITAKA. HE SPLIT HIMSELF INTO THE TWO OF THEM. 

Which means that he, like, told Yue and Kero that he died, went to the Clow Kingdom, lived that out, then told THEM that he died too, then went back to his original reality and Split Himself into two new people. Which counts as “death”, TECHNICALLY, sure. There is no more ‘Clow Reed’. He is not a singular living person anymore. But he didn’t “die” in the way that his family in Cardcaptor Sakura AND Tsubasa thought. Though it amounts to the same thing. 

EXCEPT - there is Eriol. Eriol inherited Clow Reed’s memories. So HE KNEW ALL THIS. HE KNEW THE WHOLE TIME. 

HE TECHNICALLY IS OFF IN CARDCAPTOR SAKURA DOING HIGH SCHOOL SHENANIGANS WITH THE FULL KNOWLEDGE THAT HIS DAUGHTER (SAKURA CLONE) IS OFF DYING FOR THE UNIVERSE AND TRYING DESPERATELY TO SAVE IT FROM EVIL WOLVERINE. WHILE HE’S SITTING ACROSS FROM YAMAZAKI AND MAKING STUPID JOKES. 

Though like, full disclaimer, I don’t actually mean it was at the same time. Because (a) time runs differently on different worlds, and (b) we are very lucky that’s true because otherwise it becomes a headache trying to piece it all together, but also (c ) Time travel, so we don’t even need to worry about it. I was at the end of writing another huge paragraph trying to put the events all in order but DONT WORRY ABOUT IT. TIME TRAVEL EXISTS. It all becomes circles in the end anyway. 

So like, don’t worry about it. :) Time Travel. 

The more fun thing is that Fujitaka technically existed as his own separate person in the Clow Kingdom FIRST, with Nadeshiko. Until time reordered events and Clow Reed jumped in to be Sakura’s new dad, before going back home and splitting himself into two people - one of which is the Fujitaka from Cardcaptor Sakura. Like. How does that work on a personal level. Did Clow Reed choose to let part of himself become the guy he replaced, or was he always kind of an Alternate version of him to begin with.

And then THAT Fujitaka meets the alternate Nadeshiko and they fall in love all over again. Which is also fun because it means that THAT Nadeshiko existed in this universe without a Fujitaka in it, Until Clow Reed came back split himself INTO the guy he went over there to replace, and BECAME the guy she was destined to fall in love with, even though he didn’t technically exist at all before that point. 

VERY HITSUZEN OF IT ALL. 

[lsunstreakerl]

Famiglia-Familie

Chapter One Analysis:

First off- most of chapter one is kind of over a few concurrent days, so this is a bit shorter than my analysis for the other chapters is going to be.

- I imply in later chapters that Max sees more of the accident than what I actually write in chapter one, and that's true! There's a couple of reasons for that, one being that I just didn't want to write that, and the other being a super convenient excuse for reason one! the human brain, especially a young one (like, maybe, 14?) is going to block out a traumatic event, especially the finer details. Max's brain is literally rewriting what he's seeing in front of him and during the actual crash, in order to try and minimize the psychological damage.

- This ties into the way that Max struggles to even refer to the accident later on- he cuts himself off before he says "Jos", he won't call it "the accident" or even really think of it at all. Max divides his life solidly into a "before" chunk and an "after" chunk.

- "But issi/sunny, why was Force India even there?" Honestly, the way GP and Max meet in this fic is complete chance. There are so many spots where it could have gone otherwise, but it doesn't. I mention at the beginning of the fic that it's leading up to the race weekend, but it's still a wednesday, so there's a lot of the support staff driving around. A group of the Force India guys, including GP, were carpooling back to the hotel when they see the accident site, and they're genuinely just being good samaritans when they stop their car and start trying to help people.

- Max's arm is bothering him a bit while he's still stuck in the seatbelt, but the way that it has him restrained, (which he can't see) is actually doing him a bit of a favor at that point in the fic. It's cutting off blood flow, so Max isn't feeling how majorly fucked up his own bones are. (For curious minds: in this fic, Max has a spiral fracture down the body of his right distal ulna, comminuted fractures across his fingers in a few spots, and an impact fracture on the distal end of his right radius. There's some impact damage on the proximal ends as well, where the elbow joint forms, but it's not as severe as the fingers and wrist.)

- Because of the way Max landed, Hayden isn't able to see the way his arm is caught in the seatbelt until he asks Max to start moving, at which point he asks for the knife. Hayden does have a moment here where he's looking at the injury and wondering if it might be better to let EMS cut Max out, but he's worried they won't get there fast enough, and this is a kid, trapped in a metal van, when there's lightning out, and he makes the decision to cut Max out, and whatever those consequences are he's willing to live with them. (Triage is traumatic and stressful and for those of you who care about original side characters, yes, Hayden goes to therapy.) ((also because he saw a dead man))

- When Hayden cuts Max out of the seatbelt to pull him out, Max gets that blood flow back, which allows his arm to tell his brain "we have a problem!" Which is why he starts screaming. Rough night for him.

- Max is having such a genuinely awful night the entire time that that as soon as he's out of the car and someone (GP) is being kind to him, he decides he's going to cling, and he's not going to let go, and there's nothing anyone can do about it. GP is such a genuinely nice guy, and Max is tugging at all of his heartstrings, that he's like "sure I'll go to the hospital" because GP and the Force India crew could see Jos, and they know that Max is alone now.

- Max gets morphine in the ambulance. yippiee!

- Max is terrified in the hospital, because of everything that's been happening, and his arm, and all he has now is this unfamiliar stranger he'd decided to cling to, so he's like "fuck it, all in, I'm attached to this guy now" and then he doesn't want to even let GP consider leaving, which is why he makes life harder for the hospital staff by refusing to let go of GP.

- The Force India guys called Colin as soon as they pulled over, letting him know about the accident and that they were going to help. Colin keeps in touch with all of them throughout the night, finds out from one of the other guys that GP is with a random kid in the hospital, and acts accordingly. (Has people collect emergency supplies for a teenager and put it in GP's room)

- GP has a reputation in the garage for being soft hearted, so no one is at all surprised about how the situation actually ends up, because of course the guy who always breaks for squirrels and gets out of his car to carry a turtle across the road takes in a child in an emergency, that's just how Gianpiero is.

- When GP first calls Colin is the hospital, he's mostly just getting reassured that it's all okay, and to do whatever he needs to do for the kid. Colin tells him that if Max needs to come to the garage with him for the next few days, Force India can accommodate that.

- Max isn't really thinking about the "not talking" thing until he's confronted when the social worker, where he makes the conscious decision not to speak, both because "that makes everything real" and also because he's in an unfamiliar country, and he doesn't have a legal adult taking care of him, and he doesn't want to say the wrong thing and accidentally back himself into a corner.

- "He didn't get letters for very long" is one of the subtler more heartbreaking lines, because Victoria continues sending him letters for months, Jos just doesn't let Max know about them, so Max thinks Victoria stopped sending them, and Victoria thinks her older brother doesn't like her.

- GP goes through the legal hoops in the background of this fic. Colin has to vouch for his employment status a million times, he has to call the British Embassy in Germany to get the ball rolling on emergency foster certification and then standard foster certification, he has to get the emergency foster certification from Germany, and he has to juggle so many emails. Your average person would be completely overwhelmed, but GP is a race engineer, and being overwhelmed is kind of his job, so he handles it pretty well.

- Max goes into emergency surgery to handle some of the worst parts of his arms and fingers, but the hospital is still super clear with GP that Max needs to have some follow ups. (Max ends up with some serious hardware in his hand. He still has struggles with fine motor skills, and he's got killer osteoarthritis in his fingers, wrist, and forearm, but the brace helps with it.

- "issi/sunny, any hospital that lets a pediatric patient leave that soon after a surgery of that magnitude without a thorough welfare check should be ashamed of themselves!" IM NOT HERE TO BE REALISTIC IF I WANTED THAT I WOULD GO TO WORK.

- Max not looking in the mirror goes hand in hand with him not speaking, or acknowledging the accident. He knows he's injured, he knows as soon as he sees himself in the mirror with his injuries that he can't fool himself anymore, so he's not looking at all.

- GP has no idea what to do with a teenager, which is why he's kind of awkward at first. It's important to note that GP, again, has zero clue who Max is. GP thinks he's taking care of a kid who had a normal home life before a traumatic accident. GP does not think he's taking care of a kid who was already traumatized even before the accident, and he's not able to pick up on some of those warning signs until he and Max are living together.

- "Why doesn't Max go straight to Michael?" Max is 14, and has been told his entire life that nothing is more important than racing, and so of course this would be true for a world champion as well, and Max is so petrified of being a burden that he doesn't want Michael to know at all, because he knows Michael will drop everything to take care of him. (He's been raised to think that kind of behavior is soft and he doesn't need it.) He especially doesn't want to tell Michael right before a race as well. Max is also still trying to pretend it's not real, so the less familiar faces he's around the better.

- Max gets really into the data partially as a coping mechanism, because if he's looking at the data and trying to learn then he's not thinking about the accident. This is also why listening to GP read it out loud is soothing to him. GP has a nice voice, and Max can listen to him rattling off numbers and variables for hours. This is also the beginning of a little routine for the two of them when one of them is having a hard time, where they sit and they go over data together. (nerds)

- The Force India engineers are so excited to have someone genuinely interested in what they're doing that they fall in love with Max immediately.

- The Force India garage also knows why GP has Max- they know that Max is from the accident, and they know he's very grim and quiet, so they actually do kind of make a game out of trying to make him laugh, or at least smile.

- Yes, that is the actual qualifying and race results for Force India in the 2011 German GP.

- I don't actually know if Paul di Resta is a good guy or not, and I didn't want to look it up. ignorance is bliss and all that.

- Max taught himself to be ambidextrous because he thought it would be a cool party trick, and instead it's totally saved his ass now that he literally can't move his right hand.

- "issi/sunny, did you actually look at places for rent in Buckingham for this fic?" guys, I ended up on one of the Buckingham city council's 117 page documents detailing next years public transportation plans from like 2013. do not underestimate the depths I will go.

- Max trying to figure out what he would even want in his room is a bit heartbreaking, and GP doesn't understand why Max struggles with it so bad. (Again, GP is assuming Max lived in a house somewhere, when Max's house was the van, and the van is gone.)

- GP gets attached to Max almost immediately. Here is this quiet kid, from a horrific accident, and he's so scared, and for some reason he's putting his trust in GP, so GP isn't going to betray that. And then GP finds out that his quiet kid is so smart, and that he likes looking at the data, so of course GP is like "give him all the data he wants" and the garage loves him because he's quiet and well mannered and genuinely interested.

- Word gets around the paddock pretty quick about the accident in general, because it made local news, and then it also spreads that one of the race engineers from Force India is actually taking care of a kid from the accident site, so Max has always got people looking out for him when he's around the paddock. (Max doesn't realize this in the fic) he's quite literally a grid kid, in the realest sense.

- GP spends the entire time he's driving from his old flat to the new house freaking out about the whole thing. He's very careful and responsible to not ever show that in front of Max, but trust that there are multiple points in this fic where he is internally flipping his shit.

Feel free to ask questions/request clarification on things! If you actually read to the end of this 🫶

[rambles-on-dragon-age]

Tell me you only played the game once and didn't bother to engage with anything going on without telling me. 🙄

I'll respond to that nonsensical drivel in that screen shot under the cut BUT the reason they came onto your post to spew their brainless takes is because hating this game is performative at this point.

There's no reason to just drop it and move on because they crave the attention of hating something popular, of regurgitating the same brainless and nonsensical takes everywhere they can. They were too lazy to engage with what the game offered and just outed themself as such.

I'm also an ADHD'er and was all over the place while playing. I've only played once and look at everything I gleaned from it; imagine what's going to happen when I'm not buzzing on nervous energy and actually get to go through it taking my time and snooping for the small details. This game was genuinely engaging and was like a repeated dopamine hit. Every single detail was built with love and this game screams of lore and worldbuilding in every little piece.

As for that nonsensical drivel in the response screenshotted;;

"The side quests are just going from place to place looking for a note, having a boss fight, rinse and repeat."

You mean like literally every single J/RPG game in existence??? You mean the industry standard?? The thing that has been a staple of RPGs for decades now?? How many of those did we have in Inquisition? I can promise it's at least double what Veilguard gave us. How many in DA2? DAO?

"Every companion quest ends with you having to kill their Generic Big Bad and then make a binary choice for the companion."

Every companion quest mirrors and/or parallels the main story line and themes of the game. The complaint should be that the game is repeatedly beating us over the head with the main themes, but then again it did that and you still missed it apparently.

Every companion quest you've been there with them, as their new employer and then friend, every step of the way. You've seen the build up, the backstory, the stakes, all of it. They TELL YOU that they're too close to the issue and need someone outside of it, ROOK, to help them decide. Do you not have friends? Is that the problem? You don't have friends that help you and then talk you through a decision??' They TELL YOU that they're too close to the issue and need someone outside of it, ROOK, to help them decide. Do you not have friends? Is that the problem? You don't have friends that help you and then talk you through a decision??

"Most of the romances are lacking."

IT'S NOT A GAME ABOUT ROMANCE, IT'S A GAME ABOUT SAVING THE WORLD. The romance is meant to be a little flavor sprinkled on the side!! Play an otome game if you're only here for romance !!!!!

"There's very little conflict between the companions and when they're is they kiss and make up."

This is the first game where you hand select a group of professionals and essentially hire them. This is not a slapdash gang slapped together of whomever was willing to deal with world saving fuckery. Each of the people involved has been with their organization for years or decades and fulfill jobs in a professional capacity. I'm also confused on how repeated death threats counts as "very little conflict". But whatever; you made it clear you didn't really do much in the game so you probably missed the majority of the interpersonal conflicts they had. And yeah. As professionals living in close quarters at the end of the world, I would hope they'd be capable of being adults about it and talk through their problems and learn to live with their differences. Like adults should be able to do.

"Every time a companion is having a problem they get this generic 'I'm here for you' 'thanks rook i feel better now' cutscene."

Do you not... have friends? Do they not have things going on in their lives? In the face of something grave happening, words don't always help. Words won't stop their world from falling apart. Know what does? Knowing someone witnessed their worst and is still willing to stand by them. That if they need a shoulder, that shoulder is there for them. In real life, I've been on both sides of that generic conversation. It makes a difference.

"Every faction is generically good and interchangeable."

Factually incorrect. We even had a whole huge chunk of Davrin's quest to show us the Grey Wardens are actually hiding some really big, really grave secrets. Those are supposed to be some of the premier heroes of the realm. Everything with the Cauldron? Did you skip Davrin's quest? Banter shows that the Crows still torture recruits; they have in-fighting and assassinate their numbers. Lords of Fortune straight up have a murder pit where they throw the bodies of those "willing" combatants. Just because they're trying to show Rook their best face doesn't mean they're all good. You have to pay attention to the stuff in the game, not play with your eyes and ears closed.

"Lucanis is straight up lacking content somehow and got shoved in the pantry when everyone else gets a cool room that changes over time."

You have, again, completely missed the content that was blatantly in the game. Upon asking Lucanis why he's in the pantry and not, you know, in a room in the infinitely generating Lighthouse, he says he feels safe there. There's one entrance/exit so he can't be snuck up on. He can see the food and would know if someone was poisoning him. He's constantly brewing and drinking coffee to stay awake so Spite can't take his body for a walk; he's right there at the source and not walking back and forth to do so. He's also, you know, trying to stay awake so Spite can't take his body for a walk and his comfort level is one that helps him do that. Lucanis has the same amount of content that the other companions have. If you would have paid attention to his characterization as well as what he literally tells you to your face that wouldn't have even been part of the subject.

So I have ADHD right? And my first run of Veilguard took me 83 hours and I know I missed a ton of stuff even though I really tried to slow down and pay attention and read as many codex entries as I could. I’m still finding new stuff on my third run.

So when I see takes that are like “Veilguard is weirdly sexless compared to previous games” then in the same post you say you played 60 hours….like ya, you missed a ton of stuff. Which is fine? But you can’t get mad at the game or the writers for it that’s a you problem.

Or “You can’t talk to the npc’s so I can’t feel empathy for them” when like a) you can b) do you actually care about the people of Thedas like at all? I didn’t need the game to hit me with the empathy stick to care about a world I’ve loved for years. Again, this is a you problem not a writing problem.

Or “They sanitized/Disneyfied the lore.” Ugh.

Not saying you need to play the game again because I don’t care and honestly you don’t deserve it anyways but like if you’re going to say stupid shit at least be able to back it up.

[lalchimiedecupid]

Lilia Calderu: headcanons/character study through music: Charles Aznavour

“Les musées, les églises ouvrent en vain leurs portes

Museums, churches open their doors in vain

Inutile beauté devant nos yeux déçus

Useless beauty before our disappointed eyes

Que c'est triste Venise, le soir sur la lagune

How sad Venice is at night on the lagoon

Quand on cherche une main que l'on ne vous tend pas

When we are looking for a hand that we do not extend to you

Et que l'on ironise devant le clair de lune

And that we are ironic in front of the moonlight

Pour tenter d'oublier ce qu'on ne se dit pas

To try to forget what we don't say to each other

Adieu tous les pigeons qui nous ont fait escorte

Goodbye all the pigeons who escorted us

Adieu Pont des Soupirs, adieu rêves perdus

Goodbye Bridge of Sighs, goodbye lost dreams"

“Que c'est triste Venise" is essentially about mourning a relationship long lost in Venise and the city itself. It talks about mourning what once was and what it now is. To me, Lilia Calderu, a Sicilian witch, kicked out of her country, her homeland, her kingdom, her village, all of it for being a Witch, for accurately predicting tragedy. Lilia Calderu would've left a lover behind, other than her own homeland and her sweet culture and life behind. Lilia Calderu, like Charles Aznavour, mourns the city and a lover.

“I want to laugh and sing

Je veux rire et chanter

And drown my sorrow

Et soûler ma peine

To forget the past

Afin d'oublier le passé

That I carry with me

Qu'avec moi je traîne

Bring me strong wine

Apportez-moi du vin fort

For wine delivers

Car le vin délivre

Oh pour, pour me more

Oh versez, versez-m'en encore

So I get drunk

Pour que je m'enivre

One time, two times, many, many times

Ekh raz yechtcho raz yechtcho mnogo mnogo raz

One time, two times, many, many times

Ekh raz yechtcho raz yechtcho mnogo mnogo raz”

“Les deux guitar” is one of my favorite songs by Aznavour. And how I perceive Lilia through it? Well, it's quite easy actually. In this song Aznavour is stranded somewhere in a bar most likely where two Romani are playing the guitar (it doesn't specify the romani but I don't want to say the G slur🙏🏻) and Aznavour tells them to keep on playing for he wants to sing and get drunk and forget. He wants to burry his past in the songs and the alcohol and he wants to forget all that ties him to the past, to the pain, to the sorrow.. does it sound familiar? Doesn't it sound like...Lilia Calderu trying to forget everything that ties her to being a witch? To all the awful stereotypes that followed her around? To all the torches and pitchforks that were raised against her while they chased her out of every corner of the earth?

“It had to happen

Il fallait bien

To hold you tight

Te serrer très fort

To grasp your hands

Tenir tes mains

To keep you here with me

Pour te garder encore

It had to happen

Il fallait bien

To cling to you

M'accrocher à toi

When nothing else

Lorsque plus rien

Could hold me back

Ne retenait mes pas

It had to happen

Il fallait bien

To save my happiness

Sauver mon bonheur

By the means

Par les moyens

That my heart allowed

Que me laissait mon coeur

They burn the fires of hell

Ils brûlent les feux de l'enfer

And in my soul and in my flesh

Et dans mon âme et dans ma chair

You left me only regrets

Tu ne m'as laissé que regrets

And the remorse of not having done

Et le remords de n'avoir fait

Maybe not everything I should have

Peut-être pas tout ce qu'il fallait

It had to happen

Il fallait bien

To pay the price

En payer le prix

And my sorrow

Et mon chagrin

Has shattered my life

Vient de briser ma vie”

“Il fallait bien” Top three songs of his. Gut wrenching. Utterly heartbreaking. I scream that specific paragraph at the top of my lungs everytime I hear it, you literally don't understand how much I ADORE that song. So if you're wondering, how is this related to Lilia? Well, this is Lilia mourning Agatha when the dark witch left her after Nicholas' death, when she was once again abandoned by the person she loves the most. (Yes this isn't canon to the series, but it's canon to Sins of the Past buried at the Old Creek. That's all I care about) This is Lilia in chapter V(i think(i forgot)). Lilia who lost Agatha and Nicholas, Lilia who couldn't save a loved one from Death. Lilia who herself loves Death but has a complex relationship with her like her other lover, Agatha. Lilia who's always grieving. Lilia who's always dressed in Black for all the mourning and the loss she has dealt with her whole life.

“He’s looking at you, sneakily

Lui, te regarde, furtivement

You’re chatting away, way too freely

Toi, tu bavardes, trop librement

He’s flirting with you, through me

Lui, te courtise, à travers moi

You’re getting tipsy, laughing out loud

Toi, tu te grises, ries aux éclats

And me, in my corner, if I don’t say a thing

Et moi dans mon coin, si je ne dis rien

I’ve got my heart, on the verge of tears

J'ai le coeur, au bord des larmes

And me, in my corner, I’m drowning my sorrow

Et moi dans mon coin, je bois mon chagrin

Because love, changes hands

Car l'amour, change de main

Ah! But no, it’s nothing

Ah! Mais non, c'est rien

Maybe just a bit of tiredness

Peut-être un peu de fatigue

Huh! Not at all

Hein! Pas du tout

What are you getting at there?

Qu'est-ce que tu vas chercher là

No, no, I had a

Non, non j'ai passé une

A great evening.

Une excellente soirée”

“Et moi dans mon coin” heartbreaking song. I feel like as a sapphic, Lilia most likely had a situationship with a comphet woman back in the days. It most likely left her heartbroken watching her lover, a woman she spent many nights with, throw herself into the laps and beds of men because she firmly believed that she was destined to be with a man and that anything she had with Lilia was Casual(hello Chapell Roan). Lilia again, mourns another lover.

I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did💝💌💘!

[kinardsevan]

the in-between

still working on this but this came to me literally as I was waking up from a nap earlier (we won't discuss the fact that it was 8PM when I fell asleep and almost midnight when I woke up).

anyhoo.... enjoy what I have done so far!

-

Things were good. 

He wouldn’t actually label them as great. They hadn’t been great since…well. But they were good. Maddie coming home safe was good. The friendship quasi-relationship he seemed to be building with Josh was good. The conversation was good, the dates were good; fuck, even the sex was good. 

But. 

“He-hey, look who it is,” Chimney says in a sing-songy tone as he strides past Buck on the main floor of the firehouse. Buck looks up after him from where he’s wiping down the chrome of the ladder truck and smiles, spotting his sister. Just behind her a few paces is Josh, and he smiles. That’s nice. That’s….good. 

He tosses the cloth on his shoulder and crosses the space with Chimney, a few steps behind him, hugs Maddie once she’s separated from her husband and then follows it with a hug for Josh. It’s…good. 

“How was your first shift back,” he asks, looking back at his sister. 

“Good,” she says with a nod, making the word sound the way it actually should, instead of how it keeps coming out of Buck’s mouth lately. “Taking it slow, easing back into it, but it’s good.” 

“Good,” he says back to her. She quirks an eyebrow at him and he forces a smile. He doesn’t have it in him to have a full-fledged discussion with her right now about the implications of how he keeps saying that word, using it to describe things. He glances over at Josh and smiles at him again. The other man offers him a coffee he’s holding and Buck takes it gratefully. 

“You guys been busy?” Josh asks. 

Buck and Chimney share a glance, and he shrugs. 

“It’s been decent. Only a few calls overnight. Nothing too insane yet, but who knows.” 

“Watch your mouth, Buckley,” Chimney states, glancing down at his watch. “We’ve got two hours left on this shift and I have breakfast plans already.”

“That’s why we came,” Maddie interjects cheerfully. She glances back and forth between Chimney and Buck, eyeing her brother for just a second longer, curious at him, before looking back at her husband. “Wanted to know if you wanted to double.” 

“That should be fine,” Chimney answers cheerfully as Buck sips from his coffee. They all glance at him, waiting for a response, and he raises his eyebrows, sputtering a bit on the coffee in his mouth. 

“Y-yeah,” he stammers, trying to reflect the same joyful tone as the rest of them. “That should-..” 

The klaxons choose that moment to start going off, the automated call coming over the PA system, and they all glance up.

“Station 118 and 122 fire and rescue. Helicopter crash. Station 118 and 122 fire and rescue. Helicopter crash.” 

Buck and Chimney’s gaze locks, and the blood flushes from his face, coffee hitting the floor as his feet move beneath him. He’s around the truck and halfway to his turnouts when hands are on his chest, stopping him from moving any further. 

“Buck-..” 

“Bobby, let me go,” he rasps, trying to push past the man to get to his gear. 

“You need to-..” 

“I need to get my gear,” he argues, cutting Bobby off. “Let me go-..” 

“You can’t be on this one,” Bobby tells him. He looks past him toward where Maddie and Josh have moved but are still near the open bay doors. “You have family here.” 

It takes everything in him to swallow down the I have family out there that he wants to scream at Bobby. To not yell at every damn person in the room that they should be moving faster, that they don’t know what they’re walking into, that Tommy needs him, that-

“I’m not sitting out on this,” he growls, unable to stop the angry tears that flood his vision. They’re not helping his case at all, but he’ll be damned if he’s left behind to not know what’s happening out there, and they’re wasting time. “So fucking let me get ready or I’ll drive myself.” 

Bobby seems to measure him briefly, questioning the right move, but after a second, he releases Buck and in under a minute, he’s donned his turnouts and made it back to the truck, nevermind the fact that blood hasn’t returned to his face or the fact that his hands are shaking as he pulls his seatbelt on inside of the truck.

Eddie reaches across the space between their seats and pushes Buck’s headset down over his head, holding it in place briefly to try and ground him as they lock eyes. He watches him for a moment until Buck nods at him. Eddie nods back at him and lets go of the headset, squeezing his still-shaking hands briefly. No one else says anything.

Still, just inside the fire station, Josh looks over at Maddie. 

“So, I think that just ended,” he quips.

Maddie frowns at him. “My brother is a dick.” 

Josh snorts. “I mean yeah, but also, I wasn’t under some false pretense about all of this.” He pauses for a moment and eyes her, narrowing his gaze. “You guys all get that he’s in love with him, right?” 

Maddie sighs softly with a shake of her head. “Yeah. But I thought after the breakup, with time and someone new…” 

Josh snorts again at her. 

“What,” she asks him. 

Josh just shakes his head, smirking at her. “Your brother’s not getting over that one. Ball of flame or blaze of glory, that relationship’s only going out in one way. You’re stuck with Tommy for the long haul.” 

. . .

The ride takes too long and his hands never really stop shaking. By the time they make it to the scene, the 122 is already there, Deluca already checked in as IC. Bobby joins the other man, figuring out where to take point, while Eddie helps Barton and Rodgers work apart pieces of the helicopter. Buck is itching to get there, find out how bad it is, but Bobby won’t let him leave his side. 

“You brought Buckley to the scene,” Deluca comments derisively. 

“Shut it, Deluca,” Bobby cuts him off. “You’re no better for leading this call right now. Kinard-..” 

“Is family,” he states back. “And there’s not going to be a better team for this.” 

“So then let me fucking do my job,” Buck interjects. Both men look over at him with lingering glares. 

“Not a fucking chance,” Deluca tells him as Bobby shakes his head. “Your head isn’t in this, and your heart would cause more harm than good right now.” 

Buck grumbles at him, but he remains at Bobby’s side. 

[regencygossipgirl]

Nic's 2024 photo dump (Part One)❤️

Omg, you guys, I finally have time to properly post, and I’m literally levitating—what an absolutely beautiful, chaotic day! The delulu levels were completely off the charts, and there was just no containing it. I’m still reeling, like… I can’t believe it actually happened.

It felt just like the early days all over again—living the world tour in real time, getting hyped over every single piece of content, hearts fluttering nonstop, all the endless theories, and just that good energy floating around everywhere.

I’m just so, so happy.

Looking like an actual goddess: waist snatched, long hair, body bodying, and the polaroid!!!

Is the croissant picture from Italy? Paris? So many questions, and even more questions after that.

And here’s the star of the night: Nic and Luke proudly (well, sort of) showing off the drawings they made of each other. You know, the one where Lukey spent a totally normal amount of time finding just the right shade of blue to draw Nicola’s eyes? Yeah, that one.

And can we talk about the little box at Nicola’s feet and her sandals? 🥹 Absolutely adorable.

One of my absolute favorite looks from the world tour—and I just have to mention the polaroid again.

Now, what is this?!! I try to keep my feet on the ground (you know, to avoid breaking every bone when the inevitable fall happens), but why is Luke tagged in this picture? Rue, when was this? Where??

I looked it up, and these kinds of plates are typically for domestic use, and honestly, they scream Nicola, don’t they? Was it her house? An interview? A restaurant?

I know this part one is prob from Jan to Jun, but, omg, in Colin’s voice: I NEED TO KNOW!!

And then there’s this one. I thought it could’ve been from May, around the NY Bridgerton premiere, June when she shot the Kate Spade campaign (also when Luke was on Jimmy Fallon), or October for the Time 100 Next event.

Since Luke is actually tagged in the post and we know Jake went with her to NY in October, that left me with two options.

It was confirmed recently, thanks to some BTS from the Kate Spade shoot, that Nicola was in NY in June after the London premiere (and, of course, those pictures), around the same time Luke was on Jimmy Fallon. When I tell you my delulu was off the charts… I have no clue if they saw each other or if they had a conversation… Around that time, the Deuxmoi pic of Nicola at the airport came out, so… who knows? Either way, just keep in mind, we’re talking June, and now it’s December. Also, we didn’t see them together at all during the summer.

So, I’m thinking it was for the NY Bridgerton premiere, and either Luke took the picture or she tagged him because of the Bridgerton billboard.

We don’t really know what’s going on between them, but even though I usually stick to reality, today I let my imagination run wild. I haven’t felt like that in such a long time. Nicola posted 20 new pictures, and they were so real—just her being herself, not the perfectly curated celebrity stuff. It made me so happy.

This year has been huge for Nicola, and I really hope she’s proud of herself because I sure am. I love and admire her so much, and I’m always here to cheer her on every step of the way.

[giggly-squiggily]

Making It A Big Deal (Blue Lock)

Okay listen- I know I said I wasn't planning on writing anything this week, and normally I don't write character birthday fics (on their actual birthdays) cause your girl can't remember them half the time- but it's CHIGIRI! My literal son- my darling boy; my precious baby! I had to! Anyway happy Birthday Chigiri Hyoma! (December 23)

Summary: Chigiri fails to mention it's his birthday. His friends find out anyway.

Chigiri knew what was coming when he came in after his evening bath.

“Get his ass.” Barou growled.

He just didn’t think it would actually happen.

“Whoa- what? AH!” The redhead tried to run, but his exit was quickly blocked by Reo. Seconds later, he was ambushed, hurdled in by bodies as he was picked up and tossed gently onto the nearest bed. “Wait, wait, hold on- what’s happening?”

“You son of a biscuit eating bulldog!” Isagi growled, yet his eyes and smile betrayed any real anger. “Just how long were you planning on keeping today a secret?”

Huh? What- oh. Chigiri averted his gaze, cheeks warming up at being caught. “Uh..”

“Aha! You weren’t planning on telling us at all, were you?” Bachira cried, poking an accusatory finger into his cheek. “How cruel of you, Missy.”

“I’d say! Why wouldn’t you tell us today was your birthday?” Reo demanded from his spot overhead, pulling Chigiri’s arms up. “If I knew, I would have planned something! You know I’m really good at planning things. Even your introverted ass would have liked it!”

“It’s not really a big deal-”

“Not a big deal?” A chorus of voices cried out. Even Nagi sounded shocked at such a statement. “Dude, it’s your freaking birthday! You’re turning- hey how old are you?”

“Seventeen.”

“Seventeen! Dancing queen!” Isagi exclaimed, the rest of the boys around him nodding in solemn agreement. “You gotta feel the beat on the tambourine!”

“What…?” Chigiri blinked, suddenly lost. Nagi tsked, clicking his tongue.

“This is a hassle. Let’s tickle him.”

“Yeah!” A chorus of cheers drowned out Chigiri’s “Wait!” Before long the redhead was a mess, squirming the best he could with several hands on him. Isagi and Bachira poked and prodded at his ribs as Barou squeezed his thighs. Nagi snuck a few lazy fingers into his neck while Reo pinned his wrists with his knees, tracing his biceps with featherlike touches.

“Cohohoohohme ohohohohohon! Aheahhahahaha, thhiihihis is buhuhuhuhllshihihihihihit!” Chigiri pleaded through his squeaky giggles and laughs, trying to hide his face in his arm with little coverage. “Lehehehhet me uhuhuhuhp, my hahahahair’s stihihihill wehehehehehhet! Aheahhahahahaha!”

“It’ll dry by the time we’re done. Think of it as a new hairstyle- the tickle-tousled!” Isagi told him sweetly, playing his ribs like a piano. “Wouldn’t that look nice, Bachira?”

“Oo, I like it! Of course, Missy looks pretty in just about anything.” The dribbler agreed, digging a thumb into Chigiri’s hip and earning a squeal. “Oo, bad spot?”

“Nah, this is!” Barou called from behind, worming a few fingers behind both of Chigiri’s knees, mindful of his injury. “This’ll teach you for being such a brat!”

“It’s his birthday- let him be bratty.” Reo chided with a snicker, clawing at the redhead’s armpits and making him scream. “We can use it as a reason to keep tickling him.”

“Say Happy Birthday, princess.” Nagi gave up on tickling his neck in favor of taking a group selfie, making sure to get everyone’s smiling face in frame. “This one’s for the books.”

“Nohohohoho, dohohohohn’t tahhahake pihihihctuuuhuhuhres! Aheahhahaha, pleaheehahhahase!” Chigiri begged, lungs starting to ache from how hard he was laughing. His face felt so hot he swore steam must have been rising from it, yet he couldn’t say he wasn’t having fun. His birthday being so close to Christmas oftentimes meant a small yet quick celebration between preparing for friends and family visits. To have such attention on it was a rare yet incredibly pleasant experience.

“Hehe, okay okay- let’s give the birthday boy a breather, yeah? Can’t have him die before he’s old enough to drink.” Isagi signaled for everyone to stop, gifting the redhead much needed air. Chigiri hugged himself as he curled into a loose ball, giggling against the pillow as his friends laughed and cooed at him. “King- did you get it?”

“Of course I did, donkey. Who the hell do you think I am?” Chigiri didn’t know what “It” was- he was far too focused on the feeling of Bachira gently combing fingers through his hair, undoing any tangles. Reo and Nagi eased him into a sitting position to find..

“Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you!” They chorused, singing off-key while a convenience store cake sat before him. On top of it was a slightly melted ‘17’, the flame dancing gently at the tip. “Happy birthday, dear Hyoma! Happy birthday to you!” They cheered, and Chigiri suddenly felt like crying for all the right reasons.

“Quick, blow the candle out before Ego-sensei finds out!” Bachira encouraged, earning a wet laugh from the redhead as he did just that. A series of spoons came next as they dug in, taking bites and bantering about with one another.

“Did you make a wish?” Nagi asked from his left, voice soft against the rest of their friend’s chatter. “Don’t tell me- it won’t come true if you say it outloud.”

“I did.” Chigiri nodded around his spoon, smiling when Reo threw an arm around him from his right. “I don’t need to worry about that- it already came true.”

“Awwww!” They chorused obnoxiously, making him blush and laugh in his hands.

He was so, so grateful to have friends like this.

Thanks for reading! :D

[cutietrait]

Ro and Bea cannot catch a break from these new home nightmares (♪)

[thepunkmuppet]

on the subject of the new magnus protocol. RRRRARAAAHAJKAKKSUWJLWOOWHEVDNKDPFOEUEGHWPEPRIJEBWVKWLSLIDHENWLSKHEHEKWWOUEHEBDKDLEIEHWBIWOEJDBDBEKEKOELRURYEPPWKFBVEJWLPAPWIUEBRHRKLDLSPWKJENRIELLEJRBRKJWKWKWLLSOIEBRVJELSPODUEHGEJSOALWOWOUEVDCODLEPPWOWUSGUEKEBHFOOFEYWHWOCJURPEPWLDJGEJEKEAJHAJDKOEWIHWGSIEOEOUEGEVDNCKLEOQOIEIRHRHEKODKSBWJWOOPOOPOYGEHKWKSJSHHWNKWLSLJEEBRKLELPWPWHEVDBKEEIEGNSOENEHELEPRLRHHENEKEPEJRGE

[dazais-guardian-angel]

Asagiri and Harukawa could not have delivered a scarier Halloween chapter if they tried because what the fuck was this—

[bakudekublogblog]

god thinking about katsuki murmuring "gotta win... right izuku?" right before charging right into his death is so so so fucking batshit insane of a thing to include. like he's yearning for him. like not only is he speaking as if izuku is still at his side, but he still remembers what izuku said to him all those months ago and is fighting to live up to the version of himself izuku admired. and then he goes "tell me.... izuku.... can i still reach you" CAN I STILL REACH YOU LITERALLY LONGING FOR HIM, TELL ME, ONE LAST THING BEFORE I GO, JUST TELL ME IF I CAN REACH YOU FUCKING I'M LOSING MY MIND OVER HERE IT'S PEAK PINING TRAGIC ROMANCE

[quijotine]

(spoilers ahead) s3 finale legend of vox machina 10000/10 BUT

feel like they could've milked those last 3 episodes for at least double the run time.

It felt rushed compared to the rest of the season. I mean, each individual quest could've lasted just as much as the arc that led to Percy's death, but alas, Amazon and its season standardization is here to kill creativity and the arts.

The fact they rushed to tie up all the loose ends killed the emotional payoff they had set with earlier stakes. For example, Percy's revival and his reunion with Vex. Even Keyleth's declaration to Vax. Which btw, looking back, it's sad they put Vaxleth on the backburner. I'm a Perc'ahlia stan first and human second, but Vaxleth felt almost as a sidequest compared to how pivotal Perc'ahlia was to the season. I guess Vaxleth will have its moment to shine in the sun once...... the thing happens, but idk, I wish they had let us savor the moment a bit more for both ships.

I just wish, ya know, they'd given us a bit more brainrot.

Anyway both ships got to fuck this season and Vex still graced that pathetic, smitten sod with the best tits in Exandria ia so it's still a 1000/10 😌😌😌

Also! I gotta say I'm intrigued with how Percy will end up with Cabal's Ruin. I don’t watch the live play (shh don’t judge me i have a short attention span) but as far as I understood, the last fight with Ripley is where Percy would have gotten it?? I guess they're saving that for the Vecna arc.

Anyway, I still love it lol and I'm glad they did bring back best boy no mercival percival because his existence holds my sanity with the thinnest mf thread 😌 and when i tell you i was at the edge of my seat when we were halfway through the finale and there was still no sight of my favorite dumbest nerd.

girl i stopped breathing for a sec there

[bumblingbabooshka]

In 'vis a vis' Janeway doesn't mention B'Elanna in the list of people who're worried about Tom which implies that B'Elanna didn't report the fact that "Tom" grabbed her arm, called her a disappointment and broke up with her (as Janeway definitely would have mentioned it as evidence of him acting strange if she knew about it) which makes sense on several different fronts but also makes me scream and cry loud enough to break glass.

[daisywords]

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