#when i say some have been in my drafts for like. a year.
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cottonlemonade · 3 days ago
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First Date
word count: 1251 || avg. reading time: 5 mins.
pairing: University AU!Tsukishima x chubby!Reader
genre: fluff
warnings: none
request: i have been giggling and squealing for the past 20 minutes over how cute and genius the request form is 😭 LIKE ITS SO SMART AND ADORABLE I HAD TO SAY SOMETHING ABOUT IT. so anyways me and Tsukishima are getting 15 and 25 for breakfast, and then we'll go home to study! || fluffy, members of the same club, first date with crush Tsukki
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Tsukishima never subscribed to the tradition of New Year's resolutions. In his mind, why bother setting unrealistic goals for oneself only to be disappointed? Whenever his friends and family asked, never learning their lesson, he would adjust his glasses and say, “Nothing.”, then silently add get saltier 2025. When he entered the gym for the first time after the winter break, however, he had to rethink. You were standing on a little stepladder, struggling to detach the last bit of Christmas decoration you had insisted on hanging on the walls before everyone went home for the holidays. Your chubby tummy looked even softer now bumping out your seasonal sweater.
“You know, if you can’t take them down by yourself, maybe you shouldn’t have put them up in the first place.”, he grumbled.
“Oh, hey, and a happy new year to you, Tsukki!”, you said brightly, turning to him and waving.
His heart did a little jump at the gesture.
Unfortunately, he had fallen for you pretty early on in your career as club manager when you bonded over your mutual hatred of overzealous people and loud obnoxious music played in department stores, and artificial watermelon flavor. He had since imagined you two walking across campus hand in hand, sharing more things to despise together. But in order to do that, he had to ask you out first. A hurdle he decided to take this year.
In his first draft of a date idea, he wanted to invite you out to dinner, but that was strongly vetoed by his wallet. Thus, a simple coffee would have to do for now. He shifted slightly, tapping the tip of his shoe on the floor to find an angle with which to direct the conversation where he needed it. Lucky for him, you did it yourself, although not in a way he hoped.
“Mikoshiba asked me out over Christmas, by the way.”
Tsukishima grimaced. He hated both the thought and the easy-going redhead, who all too much reminded him of the former Nekoma captain.
“Ah.”, he said, looking at a despicably jolly Santa bauble in the box sat on the top of the stepladder. An internal battle between wanting to ask for details and immediately smack-talking the other guy rose in his chest. Again, you made it easy for him.
“I didn’t go, though.”
“Hm. How come?”
You finally got the end of the garland off the wall, with no help from the tall boy, who could have grabbed it without effort.
He was met with a shrug.
“Not really my type. And he asked me out for coffee, which, I dunno, just feels pretty uninspired for a first date. I get that it’s a classic, but I wouldn’t mind some creativity.”, you hopped back onto the floor, “Plus, cafés around here are super overpriced.”
“Right.”
After trying your best to stuff the long prickly decoration into the box, you went to put it all away and, looking over your shoulder, you saw that he hadn’t moved from his spot next to the ladder where you left him.
You couldn’t quite put your finger on it, but something about him was off today. More so than usual. Box in your arms, you came to a halt in front of a closed door. You turned on your heel, tilting your head in question.
“Could you open the door to the supply closet, please?”, you asked sweetly, since there was no indication he would be coming to your aid. He seemed deep in thought.
“Hm? Oh, yeah. Sure.”
It only took him three steps with those long legs to reach you. Before he pushed down the door handle, however, he said, “There is a limited New Year’s hot bun out at the convenience store.”
You blinked in confusion.
“Okay?”
“It’s one with sweet potato noodles and stuff. You like those.”
“I… I do. Thanks, I’ll check it out.”
The door remained closed, his hand still on the handle.
“There is a two-for-one sale.”, he went on after a pause.
You frowned, so completely lost as to the point of this conversation because it was obviously not informing you of a banging sale. “... Nice.”
He suppressed an impatient click of his tongue. This was going horribly, how dense could someone be?
“We can go together.”, he said.
“Alright…?”
“Like… today. I’m going there now anyway. I wouldn’t mind if you came along.”
“Uhm. Okay, yeah, I can do that.”
“Okay.”
“So are you gonna open this door any time soon or…”
“Right.”
Tsukki didn’t speak much with you as you headed to the convenience store. He pointed out a dog in a sweater for no reason at all and then went silent again. You still couldn’t figure out why he wanted you to come with him. Usually, he avoided any unnecessary social situation and in your opinion, this was as unnecessary as it got. You were roughly 94 percent sure he could handle getting the buns by himself.
“We should just eat here while we’re at it.”, he said as the glass doors slid open.
Maybe he had trouble with his roommate again and wanted to prolong going home, you speculated. In that case, you were pretty touched that he preferred your company over having none at all.
Food was gathered and warmed up and you took the two free seats at the small wooden table by the onigiri shelf. Watching you struggle to open a can of soda for a few seconds he took it from you with a surprisingly gentle, “Here. Let me.” then set it back down in front of you.
“Thanks.”
You ate in silence. Some current chart songs were coming from the overhead radio and you lightly bobbed your head along as you bit happily into the delicious hot bun. Tsukki placed a fried dumpling he had picked out as well on the plastic lid of your open container. “Try these. They’re good.”
“Famks.”, you mumbled through stuffed cheeks of sweet potato noodles and stuff, then eyed him suspiciously as you swallowed.
Either he was trying to discreetly poison you or, “Tsukki… is … is this a date?”
“What? No.”, he said quickly and lowered his head when the store clerk looked over.
“Oh okay. Just making sure.” You went back to the food, spearing the dumpling with your chopsticks but keeping an eye on him.
“If it were, it would be definitely more creative than a café though, right?”
You paused midair to your bite.
“So this is a date.”
“Yes. - No. I dunno. Don’t make it weird, okay?”
You slowly spun the dumpling around, studying Tsukki’s pink ear tips.
Never in a million years would you have guessed that this guy, who never had a nice word for anyone and less enthusiasm than a snail on a Sunday afternoon, could ever ask you out.
You considered him for a moment. He was pretty cute the way he avoided your gaze now. It was worth a try.
“Do you… like jazz?”
Tsukki squinted at you in disbelief.
“What’s wrong with you?”, he furrowed his brow but was unable to hide a relieved chuckle in there.
“Well, it was getting awkward so when in doubt, Bee Movie to the rescue.”, you laughed in your defense.
He finally cracked a proper smile and rubbed the back of his neck.
“Agh, okay, the next date is going to be better, I swear.”
You both nodded and grinned quietly at your dumplings, then continued to eat.
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a/n: 🥺🥺🥺 dear anon, thank you so so much for that sweet message and I apologize about the delay! I hope you enjoyed this story nonetheless 🌟
Also borrowing Mikoshiba for this aka the only straight character from Free!
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rcmclachlan · 2 days ago
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2024 Tumblr Top 10
Tagged by the wonderful @liminalmemories21
How it works: Share your top 10 tumblr posts from last year! Visit this site, scroll down to "Find your Tumblr Top 10," type in your username, and select 2024. When you get the results, simply click "Share to Tumblr" and you'll get an auto-generated draft for a post with links and previews. Make any adjustments you see fit.
Surprising no one, all my top posts in 2024 were about BuckTommy. Here’s the breakdown:
1. Tommy’s just as insane as Buck (1,184 notes - Aug 15 2024)
This is probably my favorite post of the year, so I’m glad it’s sitting pretty at number one. Even after what we’ve learned about Tommy since I posted it, I still stand by it. There is no way Mr. Sure I’ll Fly Into A Hurricane On A Hunch is normal about anything.
2. Amnion (mpreg, 8x06 fix-it) (777 notes - Nov 9 2024)
This predated the mpreg tsunami that hit the fandom by about a week, but if you’ve been following me since April, you’ll know that dadvans and I had been surfing that wave all along. 
3. Season 4 alternate meeting (726 notes - Aug 10 2024)
I’ve got a list as long as my arm of ways Buck and Tommy could’ve met earlier, but the idea of “what if their paths crossed the day Buck learns about Daniel” grabbed onto my ankle like a mutant west highland white terrier and wouldn’t let go. 
It eventually became the fic Histocompatibility on AO3.
4. 8x05 spec fic ("Kiss me, Thomas!”) (704 notes - Oct 23 2024)
I wrote this after the first pictures of Buck’s face dropped a couple of days before the episode aired. At the time, we could only see one boil (I think the most popular theory was that a spider had laid eggs in his face, a la Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark), so I decided to have a little fun. 
Apologies to the people who were scarred for life after learning what a giant weta is. 
5. The 118-217 Shadow Summit headcanon (665 notes - Dec 29 2024)
A very late addition to the list! There I was with all these headcanons, still mourning the breakup and wishing the show had given us some cross-station shenanigans, when I realized I could solve all my problems with fic. Why would I try to get Buck and Tommy back together when the yahoos at the 118 and 217 could do it for me?
Then I took it a step further with this missing scene, which I had an absolute blast writing. These people are bonkers (to me).
6. “So? Tell me about the hot pilot.” (652 notes - Sep 13 2024)
I can never get enough of the Buckley siblings, and since the show finally gave us something substantial with 7x05, I decided to delve a little deeper into Buck and Maddie’s conversation about Buck’s bisexuality and the man responsible for opening his eyes to it. 
It eventually became the fic Table of Contents on AO3.
7. New Year’s Eve fix-it ficlet (651 notes - Jan 1 2025)
Okay, technically it shouldn’t be on the list because I posted it in the new year, but I wrote it a couple of hours before midnight while watching Wicked with friends, so I’m including it. It was a half-baked idea that became a half-baked fic, but it seemed like people enjoyed it, so I’m taking that energy into the new year!
8. More 8x05 spec fic (missing scene) (589 notes - Oct 24 2024)
Another fic that was born out of the episode previews, which allowed me to bring my 217 OCs out to play. All I kept thinking was, ‘What was going through these people’s heads when they heard dispatch say a body had been found at the 118? Probably something along the lines of: must be Tuesday.’ 
9. Pregnancy kink ficlet/headcanon (526 notes - Aug 29 2024)
No explanation necessary. 
10. Relative Value (499 notes - Jun 26 2024)
“Give me Uncle Tommy or give me death” has been my mantra since Tommy and Buck made out in front of God, country, and the entire First Presbyterian ER lobby. Also, it’s a headcanon of mine that all the 118 kids are obsessed with him, much to Tommy’s confusion and amusement. 
It eventually became Relative Value on AO3.
Well, this was a fun little retrospective! I can’t believe this dumb show pushed me out of writer’s block limbo as hard as it did, but I’m very grateful. 
Tagging: @dadvans, @screamlet, @epiphainie, @leashybebes, and @beanarie​​
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elvisabutler · 1 day ago
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so. long time no see y'all. consider this post both an explanation and i guess an attempt at a promise of doing something before the end of the year. if y'all want the short version of why i disappeared off the face of the planet... it really boiled down the mid shift at my job left me no time to do anything before or after work and then in october i got a promotion which turned into its own funny problem inducing thing. add in moving down to a one bedroom from a two bedroom with a rambunctious and clingy 3 year old and well. when did a girl have time for writing.
that being said! here's the deal. i am completely unsure if i'm going to write consistently again. i want to, oh lord have mercy do i want to, but i also find it uncouth to string everyone along with promises i break. however, that doesn't mean i'm gonna delete the blog- because l'm too old in fandom terms and have seen too many fics/gifs/artwork get lost in blog deletions and the like.
what this does mean is that i am going to try and finish up some stuff that's been left at loose ends because no one likes reading incomplete fics. and i'm gonna try and play me writing and such by ear. no guarantees, no promises just me saying i'm gonna try and do what i can. and if it turns out that i can't finish things, if y'all want i'll turn all my drafts loose onto this page for y'all to see what i had attempted to write/finish/do something with.
i'm not gonna add any tags to this because i figure i've been gone long enough that posting in the old tags i used to without like a fic feels a little weird! but hi y'all, i've really missed you even if i've tried to lurk a little.
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annunen · 1 day ago
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NHLWAM S12 E6: Anton Lundell & Sasha Barkov
Translated the highlights from this one too! Other FLA episode's translations here.
Again, Putkonen and Manninen are the NHLWAM hosts.
TLDR: Sasha is a proud dad, he praises his teammates and chirps Lundy a lot. Sunscreen discourse.
Under the cut!
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Manninen: Lunkka, it's been a couple years since we last sat there on the beach. How are you feeling, are you settled in Florida now?
Lundell: Yeah, it feels like home now. Even on that first season. No complaints, this is a cool place to play in and there aren't many places like this where you can go to the beach even in the winter.
Host: About being outside - it's really hot here, even today, so during the season do you have to wear sunscreen?
Lundell: You should. I've made the mistake of thinking "i don't need it, my skin should be used to the sun by now" a couple times and then my shoulders were completely red the next day.
-----
Manninen: So about Matthew Tkachuk, he's a really colorful person, at least on the ice. What kind of guy is he?
Lundell: Yeah, he came in with a rumble and showed everyone why he's such a good player. 40 goals, over 100 points. In the playoffs he showed us the direction, and that just tells about his persona, how much he just wants to win. He hates losing.
Manninen: What about your other new guy, Niko Mikkola?
Lundell: It's nice to have him on the same team. He's quite an annoying player, at least to play against, if i'm being honest. He plays hard, he's mean, he's a big boy. It's hard to play against guys like that. He's been a great addition to the team, bringing us some physicality and experience to the d-core.
Manninen: And what kind of guy is he off the ice?
Lundell: Really nice guy, Finnish too so it's nice to talk Finnish with him. He's a really funny guy too when he tries to joke a little.
-----
Putkonen: Who has the weirdest pre-game ritual? Does anyone have any weird ones?
Lundell: Patric Hörnqvist had a really weird one. Before the game he always took a stick to the bathroom and then he would say "we're going to score some dirty goals tonight".
(Putkonen jaw drop)
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Putkonen: Ville Nieminen asked "what things do you think you're better in than Sasha?"
Lundell: Soccer. Definitely.
Putkonen: What about padel?
Lundell: That's good. I don't think i'm better than him but at least i'm not much worse.
-----
Manninen: Welcome to the "Know your coworker" section. Here we have the Florida Panthers captain Sasha Barkov and the future alternate Anton Lundell.
(Sasha smiles sooo big at that)
(They had to know each other's draft club and draft number, hometown, birth year, junior club, shoe size, first car and eye color. After the fourth question Sasha asks "do you have any harder questions?" Both scored 8 points. I'll subtitle this clip later.)
-----
Putkonen: We came outside and it's like a heatwave day today, so i have a question: do you use sunscreen during the season?
(Sasha shakes his head.)
Putkonen: You don't?
Barkov: No I don't. I was at the beach yesterday and i didn't use sunscreen. I'm a tough guy.
Putkonen: Pretty tough cause Lunkka said he uses sunscreen at least for the beginning of the season.
Barkov: Lunkka is from Espoo.
Putkonen: Yeah, he is from Espoo. Tampere guys don't wear sunscreen.
(all three laugh)
-----
Manninen: So Sasha, you became a daddy a couple years ago! How would you describe this life event?
Barkov: It's quite a big change, but for the better. It feels amazing to have a person you have to take care of and watch him grow. Probably the best thing in my life.
Manninen: Could use the classic cliche of "you don't really understand until you become a parent yourself"?
Barkov: It's exactly that.
-----
Manninen: We were watching your game against Tampa. – – What caught my eye was after all the little scrums and brawls, when there was communication between the refs and the captains, Captain wasn't there. Had you delegated that task to Matthew Tkachuk? Is this a permanent thing or why was it Tkachuk and not you?
Barkov: We have actually agreed with him that when there's scrums like that, he knows about them more than me. He goes to negotiate with the refs. If there's something else to ask, then I'll do my job. But if there's a fight, he knows what to say.
Manninen: For all who have followed Matthew Tkachuk's career at all, he absolutely has seen those scrums. Last season he came in with a crash and really brought your team some of that rough edge.
Barkov: Yeah, he's an unbelievable guy on and off the ice. On the ice, everyone can see how he scores goals and points, how he plays. But how he is off the ice, how much he affects the team atmosphere and connects teammates, that's the biggest thing i've seen about him. He really is - he's like the glue of the team.
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Manninen: One Finnish new teammate! Niko Mikkola arrived in Florida this season.  How do you describe Niko as a player and a friend?
Barkov: He's an amazing guy. Just what we needed, a big guy who plays physically and moves really well for a guy that size. Just a great guy, he's really chill and you can crack some jokes at him and he won't get offended like Lunkka does.
(laughing)
Barkov: That might be because he played in Tappara for a couple seasons.
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blackaquokat · 3 days ago
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First IF MCs Post!
So I've been playing IFs going on five years now, but I think I've only ever made one post about who they are, like, a year or two ago. They mostly only exist on the discord discussions or DMs with fellow IF fans because I also have no art skill (though I should post the Infamous fics I have in my drafts eventually--).
All that to say, getting a shoutout from @loveandleases herself (STILL RIDING THAT HIGH) has finally given me the kick I need to post about some of my MCs. This might open a floodgate for MANY of my OCs that I still yet have to talk about, so everyone beware!
(Picrews used will be credited at the bottom of the post)
First up, my Cam-mancer, Peridot "Dot" (last name tbd)! (Might change her eyes to hazel, but I'm keeping this picrew image for now.)
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She started out very similar to my Infamous main, Genevieve, but now she's come into a life of her own. Has been hopelessly in love with Cam for most of her life, but resigned herself to just happily being his best friend (not knowing, of course, what the rest of us know about Cam--). Chris and Jade's betrayal stung, especially with what it solidified about the kind of people those two are, but I think a big part of her arc is realizing that she's not as heartbroken as she thinks she should have been about it. Then it's just her reconciling the years lost.
Anyway, she's a quiet, sweet woman, who normally doesn't mind not having attention on herself, but she's mostly become that way because of Jade demanding so much. She's also an artist, often preferring to spend evenings in the quiet, painting and sketching. I think she definitely has a stash of paintings she's made of Cam's pictures that she gives to him on bad days or his birthdays. She's a passable cook, but a far more enthused baker. It's mostly a calming activity for her when she's stressed, though her friends and loved ones certainly enjoy the results. The Clarke parents still talk about her pear custard recipe, even after the breakup.
She's still relatively new, along with the other MC I'm about to share, so I'll probably think of even more details as they grow and as the game progresses!
Anyway, now for Jumana, my G-mancer!
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Jumana (last name also tbd) goes back to my usual trend with making MCs: she's of Lebanese heritage. She's a departure, however, because she's got grey eyes instead of brown like I usually give my Lebanese-coded MCs. She also met G during her goth phase in college (it slowly just turned to grunge), so this is the look that eventually grabbed G by the throat. She's not afraid to throw punches, but will try to talk people down first. Unless she's mad. Then all bets are off. Someone will be thrown across a desk. She is Very strong, and Very scrappy and she will not be fucked with.
Anyway, she's also a Literature Nerd and is almost always reading, especially in inconvenient spots. It drove G insane, because they never seemed to see her study in public, so HOW was she keeping up with their grades--
I do think, however, she's not a particularly ambitious person. I think she got high grades like G and that got under their skin and their reaction tickled her so much that she just. Kept trying to get high grades so she could keep getting a reaction out of them. Honestly, if G hadn't been there, she might not have tried so hard in college. But she definitely had a crush on them well before they probably realized their own feelings. Losing G gutted her, they were It for her. Chris was absolutely a rebound, and maybe a bit of self-punishment. Maybe a terrible part of her hoped being with Chris would one day get G angry enough to come back to her life, tell her to be with them, not Chris.
Now that Chris and Jade have royally betrayed her? Well. Jumana has ideas for making their lives miserable without her actually getting involved with them again, and that goes for her parents too, for their own betrayal--
I'm sure I'll think of more as time goes on, but in the meantime, these are my gals! Can't wait to see how they fit into the game!
Picrew used for the images:
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Note
Pausing halfway through reading one of your fics to pop in and say I really love your narration and character voices. It’s not common in fanfic for an author to write in a way that’s layered enough for the reader to gain their own insights and conclusions. Like I’m in the last chapter of therianthropy and there’s the stuff that happens on the same page when there’s dissonance between thoughts and actions or when Karen buys Matt the sympathy muffin and Matt’s mad that that tactic totally works, and there’s also the longer story motifs that must be so hard to tie together when you’re publishing at the same time as actively writing.
The bit that got me to stop is when teenage Matt’s at Fogwell’s. Previously we saw Fogs starting to talk about the little boxing found family and Matt’s all “oh geez I hope he doesn’t start the lecture about sacred boxing fraternity 🙄”. And on its own this was a great scene because it showcased the characterisation of Fogs, Matt and Lisa in a few short paragraphs. Fogs is real passionate about this one thing, Matt’s heard this windbag go on about it a million times and is comfortable enough to be a little bitch, and Lisa’s relaxing for the first time in a /long/ while. And it’s beautiful.
But then. BUT THEN!!!!!!! This *fucking* speech Fogs was about to launch into!!!!!! Is the very thing that made Matt feel genuinely loved for the first time since Jack died!!!!!!!! Nearly ten years!!!!!!!!! And when Matt finds this traumatised teenage soldier that needs reassurance, love and support, he takes her to the the place where that unconditional care was given to him all those years ago and arhgrgahgrhhogohrgohhhh don’t even get me started on kintsugi ok I hope u never stop creating ok ur fics make me wanna howl at the fucking moon
2/2 Sorry my coherency evaporated real quick there. Your stories are also laugh out loud funny
Hello extremely kind ask I have neglected in my ask box for far too long. Thank you for your kind words they made me extremely happy and made me feel more competent than I actually am.
The tough part about fanfiction is that everything y'all get is basically a first draft because, like you said, it's publish-as-you-go and I don't have the chance to go back and rewrite the story to be more cohesive. Like, the act of writing itself means the plot and characters are still developing, and i really rely on editing and second drafts for that in a way that's not super possible with fanfiction. Sometimes the characters just Do Things and i'm like "wha--stop that. why are you. since when do you. why didn't you do that like 100k words ago." and it gives it a very flying-by-the-seat-of-my-pants vibe from my perspective.
I am a very big fan of Recycling when it comes to my writing, and i think it makes it seem a little more put-together than it is. Like, I always have big Scenes in my head that exist from the start of the story that I know are going to make an appearance, so I just bury references to them them I need to craft the moments leading up. Or, if I don't have a scene planned and there's something missing, I tend towards trying to tie it back to something that already existed in the story, so there's a little bit more of a common line running through it. Granted, if you do this too much it seems a little kitschy, so I don't always do it, but I'm a firm believe in using what you have to the fullest extent.
If i recall correctly, Fogs' confusing Matt into staying by just sort of talking until he passed out was a Big Scene and I was just planting my chekov's guns like a deeply unqualified gardner who should have been fired a long time ago and never given access to the guns safe. I knew that I wanted Lisa being taken in by Matt to parallel his own recovery from Stick, so it was sort of low-hanging fruit to have Fogs go off on the same rant. I also kind of liked it because I think time does a lot for reframing how we think of things.
Like, when Matt first gets Fogs' speech about Ancient Sumerian Men Beating The Hell Out Of Each Other, he's half starved, half feral, and trying to fling himself back out into the hostile streets of New York because he feels safer alone than he has ever felt with other people. He passes out, wakes up with a blanket over him and Fogs asleep at his desk even when he doesn't have to be. Like you said--it's the first time in a very long time that he's felt safe.
Then, when he's in the future, it's just very casual. It's not really framed as remarkable, and Matt doesn't hold it in his mind as something that glitters. I thought it showed an enormous amount of healing for him to be so comfortable with Fogs that he didn't seem to remember that this was something that once brought him to tears.
And you're also right about Matt bringing her there--it was easy recycling in the sense that i needed to answer the question of "where would he bring this traumatized child he doesn't know how to help" and figured the answer was "probably the place that helped him."
Thank you for your kind words they made me extremely happy and I'm very glad you like my writing
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cerealmonster15 · 17 hours ago
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YAAAY
➥ One of your favorite lines (or paragraphs) you wrote in 2024:
I'm giving you two and theyre both idia quotes:
The offer was on the table, and it was up to Idia what happened next. The following five seconds stretched across what felt like eons to them both as Idia focused all his energy on trying not to literally pass out on the bench and take Cater down with him, or get overwhelmed by the possibility that if he DID kiss Cater, Cater might immediately throw up all over him and run away screaming. Really, it wasn’t that he didn’t WANT to kiss Cater, but what if he died? What if they both died!?
^ Blue Raspberry Mango
“...Some one, more like it…” Idia snickered.  And then gasped, a look of horror replacing his expression instantly. “Wait- SERIOUSLY? You- AZUL?!” “Shut up!" Jamil hissed, dropping down beside Idia to cover his mouth. “Don’t be so loud!” “Ugh, EW…” Idia grimaced once Jamil pulled away. “I didn’t expect you of all people to have such shit-tier taste in guys.”
^ Double Sided Pining Coin
I didn't realize those were both 2024 lol what a wild and long year. i love writing idia even though i've only done it a few times lol he's soooo much fun to just go ham with.
➥ A fun fact/easter egg/trivia fact for a fic you worked on in 2024:
i cant think of anything surprisingly lol usually i have a lot to say!! but i guess a fun fact about my ao3 stats is that 2 of my top 5 longest fics are ones i wrote in 2024 [3 if you include the fact that the top one is my multichap fic and i wrote a chunk of it in 2024] and theyre both 5k idi/kei and jami/azu fics lol. something about writing those pairs together makes me bonkers. i love how silly they are on their own and even moreso putting them together. theyre fun ships and i looove the board game club's funny hater friendship, and i also like playing with the concepts of the rest of them being friends/interacting in some degree lol
➦ The title or working title of a fic you're currently working on/planning for 2025:
working title "leocay situationship divorce drama" lol. idk if ill write it into a whole thing, i kinda just wrote down a scene that was haunting me and i have an overall vision for the vibe, ive had this vague idea in my head for a few years now but skdfjklsd i'm kind of shy about it so maybe itll just stay in the drafts. or maybe The Madness will overtake me on a whim and itll find it's way on ao3, we'll see lol.
➦ A scene or fic idea that you want to write/try writing for but intimidates you: (very optional but let's put those stretch goals out!)
^ that one over there LOL ummm also. i have considered many a time writing some of my caterella plotlines, some of which include my twst ocs. but im too shy LOL.....
more reasonably, i do have a trey/cater wip that ive begun but it's a long process because it's one i'm taking my time with, a fic that explores cater and trey [and riddle!!!] as characters and their relationships with each other, like snapshots of scenes from when trey and cater first meet at orientation throughout their years at nrc. i was gonna try and get it out before heartslabyul's section of book 7 began but it's just too slow a process, and now we may or may not get more backstory lore of the beloved trio that i could integrate... if it doesnt destroy me in the process JKLFDSKGHGJ i love my heartslabyuls sooo much so i want to write it with care..... but i get SCARED when i'm going beyond just silly goofy time [tho it will also be silly goofy time. i know who i am]
✦ A link to your ao3 or other posting platform so people can see what you've been up to and what you're going to be up to: :3
My ao3 is here! i also tag "#cereal writes" for cross posting, and sometimes here i post out of context wip lines or babble about my trials and tribulations of writing but i dont really tag those so u kinda just gotta catch me in the act teehee
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2024 FUCK YEAH I DID IT + 2025 FUCK YEAH IM PLANNING ON DOING IT (fic) writers edition
➥ One of your favorite lines (or paragraphs) you wrote in 2024:
➥ A fun fact/easter egg/trivia fact for a fic you worked on in 2024:
➦ The title or working title of a fic you're currently working on/planning for 2025:
➦ A scene or fic idea that you want to write/try writing for but intimidates you: (very optional but let's put those stretch goals out!)
✦ A link to your ao3 or other posting platform so people can see what you've been up to and what you're going to be up to: :3
Tagging~ let's see. @ladybundle @basuralindo @deezneezz
anyone else is free to do it too, I have not had coffee yet so my brain is bleary.
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ganondoodle · 4 months ago
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so with echoes of wisdom .. i havent watched any of the trailers beyond the very first one and the thumbnails/screenshots and what others have said about it-
but with the world inside the rift being called "Welt des Nichts" aka "world of nothing/void" in german ('still' in english, for some reason) and demises title in french being "avatar of nothing" ... yeah my anxiety is shooting through the roof again
(hopefully you can be a little more forgiving for me being anxious/weird about it bc demise is my blorbo)
i had similar worries with totk, that werent proven true thankfully, but the darn book is making it all worse again with all those weird lore things the game doesnt even so much as hint at AND potential retcons- im in for a really rough time huh, not just stress in real life (more in tags.. its alot) but now about my specific hyperfixation from two things even (AND artblock still..)
weird as it may sound, i dont want demise to get more lore, partly bc i dont believe theyd do anything with him that i would like (given their track record) but much more importantly- the fact that he has this little lore about him is precisely one of the reasons why i fell in love with him, i tend to like characters that are neglected by the narrative, and his story being both so flat and already done meant i can be very creative with what i come up with for him without necessarily contradicting anything in canon (which is ... or was a big point of how i wrote destiny's story and lore, working with canon in a way that reframes it all without straight up ignoring it ... but i suppose i urgently need to let go of that and accept i spend alot of time working things that will go to waste :( ) AND not having to worry that there will be more stuff with him that would massively change not only what im writing but also potentially how i feel about him since the game he was briefly in was the oldest chronologically and ended with his death- i didnt expect them to mess with anything that far back and thought theyd just go forward and leave the timeline behind and wouldnt mess with it again, given how botw seemed to be a sort of 'fresh start' that seemingly regarded the past as the past that needs to rest and that the timeline was finally no longer a discussion if everythings unified through botw and one thing going forward
but i suppose i was very wrong with that .__.
right now the only thing that motivates me still is the left over determination and spite to work on my zelda comic, since i have never gotten this far and really want to get something done for once, but i cant lie that im feeling like i should pause all work on it too to wait and see waht the book and the new game will do .. either to determine if i still have the will to keep working on it after those things are out (my love for tloz has been taking alot of hits lately ..) or if i have to change stuff (mostly bc of my lore problem trying to not ignore it ..)
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#ganondoodles rants#sorta#suicide attempt mention in the IRL stuff im talking about in the following tags btw#theres some construction stuff on our house going on#and my father is extremely stressed about it#he used to be very explosive- being silent and then exploding out of nowhere .. probably left me with lasting damage yippie-#but now he much more lets it eat at himself bc hes old and feels bad for the past stuff so now it makes him irritated and depressed#my older brother is the most normal cis straight guy you can imagine and incredibly impatient and bossy (you CANNOT talk with him)#(brother doesnt live in our house)#and while hes helping out hes doing it exactly how my father doesnt like and since you cant talk to the guy (explosive +200) it stresses hi#to the point of my father yesterday saying that “it would have been better if i had just died back in the day”#likely referring to the time when he was drafted for the military against his will and tried to kill himself#which i learned only like .. a year ago- theres so little my parents tell me ....#its like my mother telling me- while my father was in hospital for heart surgery- that she not only almost died back when i was a young tee#and only survived bc of some incredibly unebelievable lucky coincidences (medics on a travel being there that knew what she had-#-while our local doctors said welp- nothing we can do lady AND them beign there with a helicopter and emergency transferring her#to antoher bigger hospital while giving her immediate treatment our local one didnt do- AND at the big one just so happened to have-#-an expert on that illness in the facility when she arrived who was able to narrrowly save her life#BUT ALSO while she was recovering and weak and frail as a dust bunny witnessing someone stealing hospital surplies-#not noticing she was in the room at first (which .. the nurses left her in the nurse room while going on break ... which uhm .. yeah cool)#and if my mother hadnt acted in time like she was fully asleep and the lady stealing stuff beign in hurry- she might have killed her#without my mother being able to fight back bc she could barely even talk (the nurses didnt want to believe her when they got back either)#ANYWAY that comment from my father brough me to tears#and my mom is trying out more ... other medication shes not prescribed in hopes of it helping agaisnt her many pains#but i worry it will interact with the other stuff shes on ...#and i worry so much about both of their mental and physical well being#always trying to be the one to calm them down or help with communication bc that is a big problem in this houesehold#but i myself am also a very much not normal and not medicated shut in who has trouble dealing even with my own feelings
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2hoothoots · 2 years ago
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i was having a chuckle to myself last night about Gristol, and how his plans are basically:
Restore Ford Cruller's memory
Find Maligula
???
Profit
but then... of course they are, right? this is Gristol we're talking about. Fatherland Follies drives home again and again that he's still operating on a child's logic, a warped and reductive version of the world that he never bothered to grow out of. both of his memory vaults center on the images of his childhood, this idealized version of the past that he clings to no matter what. and that's still how he remembers Maligula, too - as this saviour figure, who rushes in to help him when he's in trouble.
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[ID: Two slides from Gristol's memory vault, Glory to Grulovia! Left: Gristol clings to Maligula's back as she summons waves to sweep away his assailants. Right: Gristol and Maligula waving from a balcony as the people cheer. Gzar Theodore brandishes a dagger in the background.]
like so much else, Maligula represents a return to this idyllic childhood - to the peace and simplicity of his youth, when he was free from worries and responsibilities. in his mind, he doesn't need to make any further plans - once Maligula's back, everything will go back to normal. Maligula will make everything better.
...is what i thought, but then i remembered this line:
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[Screenshot source. ID: Gristol, in Truman's body, bows on his hands and knees in front of the newly-awaked Maligula. The caption reads: "Yes, High Priestess! I am here to correct the mistakes made by my father!"]
and that's kind of interesting, right?
to be clear: this happens directly after Maligula sees Helmut-in-Gristol's-body, and recognises him. her line before this is:
"Little Gzesaravich! Have you come to pay for your father's sins?"
my first thought was that Gristol hadn't expected to still be in Truman's body by the time he managed to find Maligula, and this was him trying to placate her and buy some time until he could explain the situation. but watching the cutscene back, that's clearly not what's happening here. Gristol is answering as himself, and his response of throwing himself to his knees before her is, as far as i can tell, genuine.
so what is going on here?
in Fatherland Follies, there's this line in the ride narration that stuck out to me:
"Why didn't the Gzar help Maligula in her time of need? No one knows, but historians agree - it is Gzar Theodore's biggest failure."
other lines mention Gzar Theodore's "mistake", and it's wording Gristol himself echoes in the screencap above. evidently, he believes that his father abandoned Maligula, leaving her to her fate at the hands of the Psychonauts, and it was that mistake that lead to them being driven out of the country - that mistake which he seeks to correct. maybe he even feels like he has a debt to repay to her for his family turning their backs on her all those years ago.
the 'High Priestess' thing, though - that's kinda weird, and threw me for a loop the first time i played the game. it took me until my second playthrough to connect the dots, and remember how the room in the Lady Luctopus - Gristol's room - was full of Delugionist scribblings and symbols.
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[Screenshot source. ID: left, the walls of the hidden backroom in Gristol's hotel suite, covered in scrawlings of eyeballs and Maligula's name. Right, the pinboard from the hidden backroom. On its surface are photographs and newspaper clippings connected by pieces of string.]
i mean, look at this stuff! he had a whole conspiracy board and everything!
we learn very little about the Delugionists and their beliefs as a whole during the game, but i think drawing the connection here suggests two important things. one: that Gristol was in deep with this stuff. i don't know how he linked up with them - maybe via old family connections, or just good old-fashioned digging (we know he's skilled at worming his way into peoples' good graces, after all) - but it seems likely that he's begun to internalise their ideas, maybe even warping his own memories of events. and two: the Delugionists themselves are, if you'll pardon the pun, pretty far off the deep end.
like... i understand why PN2 didn't go heavy on the "mass-murderer cult worship" aspect of things, in the end, but man this is such a tantalising glimpse into the wider mythos around Maligula. Gristol is proud and haughty and thinks himself above everyone else; the fact that his first reaction seeing Maligula is to throw himself to the ground at her feet says so much about the way he's come to see her. he's not just trying to bring back Maligula, his childhood bodyguard. he's trying to bring back Maligula, the High Priestess of the deluge, the semi-mythical figure whose supporters believe even death couldn't stop. he doesn't even flinch at the way she confronts him, and maybe it's because he's bought in so completely to this deified figurehead, this idea of Maligula; more a living force of nature than a person. and it all comes back to the same place: an abdication of responsibility, not just to the person who protected him when he was little but to this avatar of floods and destruction. Maligula will make everything better.
i'd write more about my thoughts on the Delugionists but that'd be taking a hard turn into speculation, and this is already kind of long and rambling so i'd better end it here. but what an unexpected and evocative line, right? it's some of the only stuff we have to go off of regarding the Delugionists as a whole, but i think it does such a good job of hinting at the wider story - at teasing another layer to the mythos surrounding Maligula, one whose ripples we see throughout the game but which never quite breaches the surface.
#psychonauts#psychonauts 2#bored waiting at the airport so you get more psychonauts meta from me#the delugionists have been on my mind recently (because i Might Just have an upcoming au lorepost about them and also cults are fun)#so tossing my thoughts up here because people seemed to like the last few times i did this#and also it's my blog and i like to talk :)#related vent i HATE drafting posts in the tumblr editor because if you hit crtl+z to try and undo a formatting change#it deletes like half the post you just typed out#(yes i did it again while i was writing this. yes i'm still salty. why do i even bother)#what else... this is just becoming a disconnected thoughts dump#but if you've seen my posts you knew what you were signing up for when you hit the button to expand the post tags#there's new art coming hopefully this weekend if i can get it finished! it's more mermaid au designs#i'm two and a half weeks late for mermay but it turns out starting a new job and moving house doesn't leave you with a ton of free time#but that's okay it's never too late for mermaids#omg and artfight's coming up next month too! geez#i gotta make refsheets for the fsau trio because i would LOVE to get art of them#and this year i don't have a thesis to crunch on so i might actually have time to participate#oh and then in august i'm having top surgery! will make a proper announcement post for it at some point#i say 'announcement'. it's just a life update but it's nice to share#i'm super excited about it :)#i might end up blogging the process and recovery but obviously it won't be going here lol. i'd put it on my main#idk if anyone would find it useful but when i first started looking into surgery i had like very little idea about the whole process#and it's only through joining a bunch of online support/discussion groups that i managed to find more info and resources#so hey it might be useful to share? we'll see#our flight doesn't land for another fifty minutes so now i'm just writing in the tags because i'm bored#alright i'll proofread this and then post it when i land and have signal again. peace out yall hope your pride month is going well
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bigcats-birds-and-books · 1 month ago
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Books of 2024: November Wrap-Up.
Hi, y'all! I'm actually shocked that I managed to get through four (4) books this month, because it was NANO and I also WROTE A WHOLE BOOK!! The (written) book in its two notebooks is pictured beneath the pen and NaNo Earrings :)
All of these reads were NaNo-adjacent, somehow (I like to stack my reading with my writing project so all the Vibes are Correct)--either Space, or Haunted, or Fucked Up Fungi (I wrote a weird book this month)(I had a great time).
Photos and/or reviews linked:
A HALF-BUILT GARDEN - ★★★½ I enjoyed this! It was very slow and contemplative, and I was surprised by how long it took me to read (#NaNoProblems), but I'm glad I did, and Rhamnetin was a DELIGHT.
JUST LIKE HOME - ★★★★ Reread for me, holds up very well! Star rating unchanged from first time through. I actually do recommend rereading this one, knowing exactly when Daphne dies.
GRAVEYARD SHIFT - ★★★½ I enjoyed this one too! Short fun weird little insomnia romp. Love a good fucked up fungus and a motley POV crew.
THE NIGHT GUEST - ★★★★ This was DEEPLY fucked up and AMAZINGLY crafted horror/suspense, and I definitely had delayed nightmares about it. I also love a good spec fic in translation (this one's from Icelandic!). Cats are NOT safe, very graphically so, so proceed with caution if that's a warning you need.
Under the Cut: A Note About ~*★Stars★*~
Historically, I have been Very Bad™ about assigning things Star Ratings, because it's so Vibes Heavy for me and therefore Contingent Upon my Whims. (Example: I don't like that stars are Odd, because that makes three the midpoint and things are rarely so truly mid for me)(I have hacked my way around this with a ½). Here is, generally, how I conceptualize stars:
★ - This was Bad. I would actively recommend that you do NOT read this one, no redeeming qualities whatsoever, not worth the slog. Save Yourself, It's Too Late For Me. Book goes in the garbage (donate bin).
★★ - This was Not Good. I would not recommend it, but it wasn't a total waste or wash--something in here held my interest/kept my attention/sparked some joy. I will not be rereading this ever. Save Yourself (Or Join Me In Suffering, That Seems Like A Cool Bonding Activity).
★★★ - This was Good/Fine/Okay/Meh. I don't care about this enough to recommend it one way or another. Perfectly serviceable book, held my interest, I probably enjoyed myself (or at least didn't actively loathe the reading). I don't have especially strong feelings. You probably don't need to save yourself from this one--if it sounds like your jam, give it a shot! Just didn't resonate with me particularly powerfully. I probably won't reread this unless I'm after something in particular.
★★★½ - I liked this! I'll probably recommend it if I know it matches someone's vibes or specific requests, but I didn't commit to a star rating on Goodreads. More likely to reread, but not guaranteed.
★★★★ - I really enjoyed this!! I would recommend it (sometimes with caveats about content warnings or such--I tend to like weird fucked up funny shit, and I don't have many hard readerly NO's). Not a perfect book for me by any means, but Very Good. This is something I would reread! Join me!!
★★★★★ - I LOVED THE SHIT OUT OF THIS, IT REWIRED MY BRAIN, WILL RECOMMEND TO ANYONE AND EVERYONE AT THE SLIGHTEST PROVOCATION (content warning caveats still apply--see 4-star disclaimer). Excellent book, I'll reread it regularly, I'll buy copies for all my friends, I'll try to convince all of Booklr to read it, PLEASE join me!!
#books of 2024#books of 2024: november wrap-up#a half-built garden#ruthanna emrys#just like home#sarah gailey#graveyard shift#m.l. rio#the night guest#hildur knutsdottir#did i mention that i WROTE A WHOLE BOOK??#okay well like. a Compost Draft book lol. a Rotting Slough Of Good Ideas Book (affectionate)#i had a Revelation this year about my prep process and why my last four years have felt so rushed (spoiler: the root cause is LIVING HERE)#BUT! it's because i thrive on two (2) months of prep#it shakes out to like a month of brainstorming and then a month of carding/plotting/prewriting i think#but i've been speedrunning books since. 2021. which. was fine that year#because i set out to make a mess in a month (and it was a retelling)#fine in 2022 because that was self-indulgent crossover no plot or worldbuilding required#NOT fine in 2023 because i had an Actual Book i wanted to do and i rushed the prep and then i was grumpy#because i assumed i was writing a first draft but it was more like a compost draft#but not recognizing that made it not fun#THIS year i FINALLY understood what people mean when they say 'draft zero' (which does not work for me. because a draft on page exists/not0#and i realized i was basically doing that--halfway writing a book and halfway brainstorming on page#but KNOWING that fixed me because it Freed Me lol. so i think of this as compost draft#(appropriate for fungus book)#it's a full mess but it's MY mess and there's some good stuff in there#but for it (like for 2021 which i also knew). i will have to literally rewrite the book from the ground up#to make it a First Draft#i did not intentionally set out to do this with last year's so it wasn't fun :(#BUT I HAD FUN THIS YEAR THIS'LL BE A NEAT BOOK WHEN IT'S LEGIBLE
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mishy-mashy · 9 months ago
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En was killed by being cut in half by AFO. It wasn't that he couldn't handle OFA, but that AFO just decided to nuke him
All Might says using One For All with an untrained body would make your limbs fly off. But
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This isn't his limbs? Yes, that's his arm, but that's HALF OF HIS BODY
Yes, there's also the argument he could've used it on his whole body and that's the consequence but there is a small cut on his thumb. It matches the line in which he was cut in half, and blood spurts from his hand.
The translation hides it, but his thumb got cut too from the slice. His thumb wasn't the focus, but still got hit. It at least shows when En passes on OFA to Nana
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Since Banjo's arms got wrecked by using OFA, maybe En used it in one leg and that's why his leg is differently-colored and looks more beat up. En probably couldn't handle the Quirk either.
This means that En was being logical and saw OFA as a tool, and only used it in a leg so he could run.
All Might specifically says an unprepared vessel's limbs will fly off. Even if En used it on his whole body, that means only his arms and legs; but that's his torso. His leg didn't go flying either; at least until they both went flying cuz he was severed.
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maximusboltaqon · 2 months ago
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my villain origin story is the belief that inhumans r copying xmen just because theyre both a group of people that have superpowers. everyone is a group of people with superpowers dipshit it came free with the fucking superhero comic company
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james-spooky · 3 months ago
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this is a test
#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like#what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or#smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140#haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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dawnthefluffyduck · 6 months ago
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Sunday doodles
#you ever just *puts feet on the wall*#or sit upside down off the side of your bed#i saw a post earlier this week I've been trying to find about fearing god#i read it but didn't have time to share my thoughts and i forgot to save it to my drafts so i lost it#anyway they talked about fearing god in service today#the overlap of related events like this scares me all the time#like... i know this stuff just happens and they had this sermon planned for months and it's coincidental#''but what if god is actually real and this is him trying to talk to me? what if he's trying to move me back on track?''#that's something i can't help but think#i'm starting to think I'll never know what is real and whether there's a god and if i really am setting myself up to burn in hell#i have to make a choice whether to leave my friends and hide who I am and go back to the church#or be myself and enjoy my time alive knowing what could be waiting for me when I go#I know that sounds extremely dramatic but it's something I think about a lot#it's one thing for someone to have never gotten to known God#but some say that the one unforgivable sin - the only thing that can keep you out of heaven forever...#...is knowing god and accepting him in your heart but then turning your back on him#I've done those rituals; been baptized and taken communion and said the famous prayer#if that unforgivable sin is true then I guess i've already made my choice; there really is no going back for me haha#damn right that god is scary lol#not tagging the game because I monolouged too much lmao#doodles#sunday doodles#depressing sunday doodle posts have arrived once again#dw im chilling today just lost in thought#was able to put in pto so i get the day to reflect on the very important things 21 year olds think about#things like ''what could've been'' and ''how do i want to draw my next fluffy boy''
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secondpersonpoetry · 12 days ago
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hi! oh my goodness. i am SO sorry i didn’t say anything earlier. i did read everything a couple days ago, and i Have been chewing on it, rotating it in my mind, etc etc…..and the graphic has been my phone lockscreen since i first read it!!!!!
frankly i am obsessed and have also been a little frazzled this month lol. saw your post late because of the general whirlwind that is december and then couldn’t quite get my thoughts into sufficient words n got worried “oh no would it be weird to say something now…..” which is incredibly silly in retrospect, so sorry for that. 
i’m relatively new to hockey fandom and the Narratives don’t always quite click for me (yet, at least :)) because i don’t know all of the lore for a lot of the popular pairings haha, so it means a lot that you’ve taken time out of your day to break things down for me and share your own thoughts <3 tysm. again, super sorry for the delayed response. i’m very sorry if you felt as though you’d wasted your time or something along those lines :’) just wanted to let you know that i really appreciate you and the time it took you to get everything down and make the graphic!!!! and like i can’t overstate how much your tags both over here and on your other blog have helped me to Get It since the start of this season, so thank you.
but now the house is quiet, the in-laws are gone, and no new work stuff until january :) so i can finally get some stuff down. every point you brought up hits in it own way but gosh you are very incredibly right the mcstrome of it all…..that’s sort of the lens i’ve been listening to the song through since you mentioned it.
the golden boy and the “draft bust” and the ever present notion of “isn’t it all about old friends? like everything? all of it?”.  like idk looking back on a bestfriendship from when you were a teenager that was Super intense and the lines were blurred and maybe realizing (if you hadn’t had the words or the “guts” or awareness or wtv to put a name to it at that point in your life) that y’all were a smidge more than just friends. 
best friends forever until you just aren’t! growing up and growing apart. it’s just the way things go but it can and will ache for a damn long time! you think you’re over it until their birthday or the holidays roll around and you wonder in a distant sort of way who they’re spending it with. what you would’ve hypothetically gotten them as a present if you still spoke. what do they even like nowadays, anyway?
maybe having the friendship end subtly. going from playing and traveling together and living in one another’s pockets to 2,080 miles of distance? (i may have my timeline/details confused here so sorry in advance) texting as much as you can at first but he’s a phenom he’s mcjesus he’s the next in line he’s expected to win the cup with his new team and end the drought for Canada. and they have him now but he was yours first, wasn’t he? but it’s fine. because you’re busy too. you’re captaining the team now. you’re gonna get the memorial cup that he couldn’t. it’s fine. you’re fine. you don’t even have time to worry about it anyway. 
one conversation a week turns to one a month turns to once in a blue moon turns to stale words until it goes cold. these days you can’t quite seem to remember who ended things, but does it really matter all that much now?
or maybe it doesn’t end like that at all. maybe it ends in a flurry of angry words and digs in some or other of the endless hotel rooms you’ve shared together over the years. who knows!
and that’s not even getting into the rest of the 2015 draft class. or the ld19 of it all! ooh hoo hoo. you grew up with him but he’s not your waiting room. he grew up with you but he’ll grow “old” (end his career) with someone else. and isn’t that just something! 
i don’t think it’s totally them, but sort of the sentiment of “I hope you get everything you ever wanted and I hope I never hear a word about it.” I want one ticket off of your carousel!!!! merry christmas, please don’t call!!!!!!!
dylan being sent up and down and traded around until finally landing in washington, a place where he is clearly at home and LOVED for the guy and player he is!!!!!!!! watching a game and seeing all the strome jerseys in the crowd……..wagh.
all that said. some other songs that are mcstrome to me in various ways: hot & heavy by lucy dacus (lol kinda the whole song). before the world was big by girlpool (“i just miss how it felt standing next to you wearing matching [jerseys? sweaters?] before the world was big”). happiness by Taylor swift (“i guess it’s the price i pay for seven years in heaven”), cut your bangs by radiator hospital (maybe? possibly? unsure. i like the whole dog thing there). i’m so glad i feel this way about you by insignificant other (!!!!!). there are so many THEM lyrics in there……..waough.
anyway. other things off the top of my head: 2015 connor specifically saying something like “hey let’s wait a minute so we can see this” to stand by the stage when dylan was getting drafted after him. MAN. you reminded me of the fact that they couldn’t even make eye contact at the handshake line!!!!!!!!! they didn’t go to each other’s weddings!!!!!!!!!! (do you think once upon a time they ever thought they’d being each other’s best man?). just a couple months ago dylan liking the tweet of connor getting that goal during the playoffs!!!!!!!! makes you wonder if he texted him………..
lol this was all over the place and i was probably wrong on some things and there’s SO much more that someone else could say way more eloquently, but i digress. i dunno everything about them is so nuts to me!!!!! needless to say i will be incredibly sat for the game january 21 🙂‍↕️
thank you again for your time :) hope you have a good one and a happy rest of the holiday season! <3333333
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what a lovely message to receive 🥰😭🥹 i had to break it up into chunks because i couldn't sit down to read all of it at once without just. bouncing right back up and shrieking. i am also at heart terribly shy so i understand the struggle but it is never too late to say something <3 you are always welcome here
first!!! i love sharing!! i think most of hockey tumblr loves to see people finding out the Lore for the first time and the wonderful thing about hockey is that. it keeps going on. so there's years and years and generations and generations and always something new to learn about. i've learned to just not be afraid to ask!!! between different teams and players i'm always discovering new narratives (learning about the sharks old man yaoi rn... cbj rarepairs...)
no... to my heart's despair... you have the timeline right. i think in the best most tragic sense there's a mcstrome narrative where it is truly that nothing went wrong. the love was there. we couldn't do enough to save it because we didn't see it slipping away. i didn't notice when you didn't call until you never did. i don't know you now but i still remember when i did, do you?
HE'S NOT YOUR WAITING ROOM?? passing out. i do see "i hope you get everything you ever wanted and i hope i never hear a word about it" as them because!! they didn't go to each other's weddings!!! i don't wish you harm but i'm not going to put myself through that!! i hope you're happy and i'm never going to look on purpose.
i love dylan strome so much and the best part is that they all love him so much too. he wore a cool vintage ovechkin jacket!! and got slapped in the face with a tortilla!! he loves to gently rag on the rookies!! it just takes some time, everything'll be just fine. you're only on the middle of the ride.
OKAY WHEN I READ THIS PART I SCREAMED BECAUSE I DO HAVE A MCSTROME PLAYLIST AND!!!! HOT & HEAVY BY LUCY DACUS IS IN FACT ON IT!!! SO IS CUT YOUR BANGS (BUT BY GIRLPOOL SO DOUBLE JINX)!!!! i have dorothea by taylor swift on there but i don't know happiness so i'll have to give all the other songs a listen. mostly i just shrieked because i was like NO YOU GOT THE VIBES EXACTLY
🧠〰️🧠 truly the mind meld happening here. the handshake line. the mutual wedding non-invitations. i won't block your number or your name on twitter i just hope i don't see it come up on screen!! i do think that we got confirmation the last time they played each other that dylan did text him to say congrats on a milestone but i would have to check the archives
p.s. i think you said it perfectly eloquently :) what matters is that you said it at all and i was delighted to read it 💕
#liv in the replies#HI HI HI HELLO!!! IT'S SO NICE TO HEAR FROM U i hope u have a lovely quiet end of the year <3 with lots of time to rest & find ur own joy#& YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE SORRY!!!! <33333 ANY MESSAGE IS A GOOD ONE!!! WHEN I TELL YOU I 🥹💕😭☺️🥰🦋💕💗‼️‼️❣️❣️ UPON RECEIVING THIS HEARTS FOR THU#ALSO IMPORTANT😭😭 I DIDN'T MEAN TO GUILT TRIP U I HOPE U DIDN'T TAKE IT THAT WAY i personally just. need to work on reblogging my own stuff#i hate reblogging my own fic announcements even so i was like listen this is for ME because EYE want it here and that's FINE. ok brain???#and also i think i have just accepted the slide that there WILL be hrpf here mostly because i keep tagging it but i always don't want to#plug this blog over on cbpc-hrpf or anything bc do you really need to follow me in multiple places or is that just being greedy you know.#obviously i don't because why else would i be dithering in the tags. anyway tl;dr i consider u beloved & also my friend welcome in the dms#at any time always. i hope everybody knows just yeet yourselves in there i am a Yapper and i love discussing. getting asks is one of my#favorite things :))) & getting messages from people is how u make friends!!! sometimes u tell people u love their work & now u are bffl <3#we all have like. Quintessential Moments that are secretly niche & the joy of going U DON'T KNOW ABOUT IGUANA WRESTLING??? is unmatched#also do you want to publish that poetry like?? hit after hit after hit. three paragraph six feet under. put it on the ao3 second person pov#dylan strome sitting at his fogged up kitchen window looking at the snow outside in washington the same as it was in erie the way it never#was in arizona and thinking about you know. maybe you know now what it was then. and does it matter? and in the end#he sees his girls run through the yard snowballs in their hands when he's done thinking everything through and he puts on his mittens and#walks out the door to his life. into the cold unknown you know. honorary fuckin' mention to what has secretly been percolating in my head#ever since i said the fogged glass window which is the one that knocks ME the fuck out every time but is so strongly a dylan/zach song to m#dream song by shallow alcove. just wanna press my nose up to the glass of your life. EYE cannot mcstrome w/that but it is incredibly vibes#also just. the queer experience of that Intense Friendship that you’re like WOW uh. maybe i need to think some things now. assigned to Them#HELP SOS what is ld19??? you will have to come explain this to me i fear. oh no you have to send me another message 😈 my brain said leon#but also london knights because mitch marner and the draft class of 2015. also had to laugh like i started singing phoebe bridgers waiting#room then immediately went into the argument of defying gravity 'i hope you're happy' (OBCR) because. i think they wish they could be spite#maybe. but maybe they know they only want them to be happy. also with the handshake... me when i. think about updating the goodnight chicag#cam now that stromer's in washington goodnight chicago goodnight indeed. DO WE EVEN WANT TO TALK ABOUT KITTY?? DEBRINCAT???? ALSO IN ERIE#also me🤝you🤝 caps/oilers game. they're like oh are u sick of the mcstrome teammates broadcast and i say no never thank u with my popcorn.#mcstrome
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cloyingcadaver · 4 months ago
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#╳┆ dayne speaking ┆◜ ooc ◞#fuck it. I will be adding t.gcf muses here when I inevitably switch back into rp mode#but probably by request and with plotting only. or maybe just drabbles to start.#I’m leaning towards xl and hc both of course & im currently feeling incredibly protective of them.#but mq is so tempting…#also I drafted the fucking. DMT trip coffin fic but somehow managed to make up a cultivation path to go along with it#mostly because - like everyone else - I am still trying to wrap my brain around the logistics of xl being trapped in a coffin for a century#and I’m fascinated by the theory that the brain releases DMT before death + how that coincides with -#near-death out of body experiences#plus the effects of psychedelics on the brain + spirit#especially in a sandbox where the universal flow of energy is a more tangible concept#it’s crack treated seriously#I don’t have to do angst all the time…… I do have a sense of whimsy#actually don’t look at me#im skulking around in the darkest corners of fandom#also maybe it’s just bc I haven’t read ff in like…. 7 fucking years but some of the fics in this fandom have blown my fcking mind wide open#there are things I can never repeat that have been permanently branded into my brain chemistry#and that’s saying a lot considering …. I’m me#not saying I didn’t enjoy it. only saying what the fuck (affectionate)#surprised and delighted to be out freaked#part of me is taking it as a challenge tho. unfortunately for everyone#me seeing the weirdest shit imaginable: I must step up my freak
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