#when i have thoughts
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I just found the funniest font ever
Like. What is this. Why is this. Who is the target audience of this?
#I was playing around with ellipsus when I saw this#It's so funny#writing#writeblr#writers on tumblr#ellipsus#Ellipsus writing#sillyposting#Someone saw cursive and thought “nah that's too readable.”#Confession now that this is my most popular post ever. I have completely forgotten what fic I was writing when I made this#I'm 90% sure it's a scarian fic#fanfiction#ao3
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stuck between "psychological horror statement" and "objectively the funniest thing you could say to your real flesh and blood dad" in the father's day card aisle
#🐉#im not gonna send either of them to my dad because i value my peace and safety but i really was tempted by the second one#'why do you have to send a card to your dad i thought you hated that guy' well the thing is one time i forgot#when i was like. ten. and his reaction was not something i ever want to relive.
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#when you’re a humanities scholar#and more#like when they ask me what is your blog about#it’s about nothing but it’s actually everything to me#just found this and thought#wow isn’t it still relevant#i can tell you all about bouba and kiki but you’d be surprised to know how much of the generally quotidian stuff i have 0 clue about#10k
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i didn't have "i'm broken" teenage asexual angst i had "i'm literally being the only reasonable one about this concept and the rest of you are behaving like fucking freaks" perception issues
#oh the experience of being 13 years old and seeing all my friends talking about wanting to have sex and obsessing over it#and being like 'we are all literally WAY too young to be having sex what the actual fuck are you talking about#why are you even considering it when we have much more important things to worry about. like how much middle school sucks'#you know what though. i still stand by this. that was an entirely reasonable thought to have and i WAS being normal about it#anyway#mine#asexuality
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lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)
if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.
--
no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.
I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.
I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.
If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.
#cw: suicidal ideation#cw: suicide#cw: self harm#cw: mental health#cw: depression#i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it#i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague#it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves#so. please dont#for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic#with the state of the world as it is#having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful#but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full#and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead#i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us#there is no fix-all#and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile#i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it#thank you for reading#and please stay alive#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
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to moving forward
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#yuji itadori#gojo satoru#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#itadori yuuji#megumi fushiguro#jjk spoilers#satoru gojo#jjk manga spoilers#hina.comic#before any1 says anything i KNOw his birthday is in december ik ik ik this is just 2 show some post-battle bonding after the trauma#its winter in canon n megumi's birthday has passed and he spent it being piloted like a mech so they need to celebrate Now!!#also this was technically a request lmao anon wanted megumi birthday angst hehehehhe i hope u like it <3 bc it KILLED ME DEAD#im going to collapse remember when i said this wasnt harder than the hydrangeas im having second thoughts#page 8 made me want to bash my head in#could have stuck with one flashback image could have left them monochrome could have done literally anything 2 ease the workload#but noooo the chronic overachiever in me would not allow it#rule of threes i had to include all of them and they Had to be in colour it wouldn't have hit the same if i had kept it monochrome#i needed it to look how childhood memories look i needed it to look oversaturated and hazy and fond but unmistakably Gone#it may have killed me but im so proud of this rn like from an art style perspective these megumis and yuujis r top tier by my standards#personal favourites r the first and last panel of crying megumi like not 2 pat myself on th back but expression?????? hello??????#enjoy your cake megumi you've earned it <333 sorry fr hurting ur feelings it will happen again#oh my god i can sleep tonight bless <333 and i met my 3 day deadline NICE im so good at what i do
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the thing is that childhood doesn't just end when you turn 18 or when you turn 21. it's going to end dozens of times over. your childhood pet will die. actors you loved in movies you watched as a kid will die. your grandparents will die, and then your parents will die. it's going to end dozens and dozens of times and all you can do is let it. all you can do is stand in the middle of the grocery store and stare at freezers full of microwave pizza because you've suddenly been seized by the memory of what it felt like to have a pizza party on the last day of school before summer break. which is another ending in and of itself
#lucinda.txt#when i was 20 my theater teacher died and i thought i was also going to die#when i was 23 my childhood cat died and it was awful#all my grandparents are dead. liam payne from one direction has died.#it's like... okay. and you still have to wake up and go to work!#& i guess the idea is one day you'll get better at losing things#one day you just won't CARE that your childhood is over#i guess. but i doubt it.#1k#2k#5k
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"just as I did, in 1983."
you'd never know my favourite parts of the show are the fucked up insane bits when my first instinct is to draw the cheesiest thing imaginable
#my art#interview with the vampire#iwtv amc#iwtv#armand iwtv#daniel molloy#armand#armandaniel#devils minion#drew this before the finale but idk maybe this is during the unspecified amount of time between armands divorce and daniels press tour#the titian painting doesnt fit at ALL with the timeline btw#i THOUGHT it did bc i assumed 1508 was when armand was turned into a vampire BUT upon reflection thats more likely the year he was born#and even then the painting was made in like 1510 so fuck me i guess. also im foggy on when armand was taken to rome#idk man i havent read the books and i failed art history on two separate occasions i cannot endeavor for accuracy#anyway as much as i love 70s/80s devils minion i have equal love for old man daniel#his cynicism has been tempered by time... refined like a diamond... he dont gaf and bullies his loser vampire and its hilarious#like ''sure yeah fine all these old italian renaissance guys saw ur ethereal otherworldly beauty but literally anybody can see that''#''IM the only mf who gets to experience the incandescent joy of seeing you be a messy idiot''#sidenote trying to make armand look unflattering is impossible u can blame the show for casting the worlds most beautiful man
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don't think I'm not still obsessing over 7-12
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 12 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 12 spoilers#sorry it's even scribblier than usual :') hopefully my chickenscratch is legible#anyway come here and join me in the corner where we go to be embarrassing about anime characters#just. between riddle and trey's dreams i've been thinking a lot about how#trey knew this kid for like two months when he was nine and then never really got over him or how their friendship ended#which. honestly. understandable given the circumstances#and then when they finally met again riddle acted like they'd never met before and neither he nor trey ever intended trey to be his vice#but every time riddle talks about his childhood post-incident it's basically#'oh yeah i constantly thought about trey and che'nya and fantasized about still being friends with them! this is fine and normal'#(there's a bit in one of his birthday cards where he talks about crossword puzzles and shit man that one got me)#idk. i can't put this into words very well#just...the implications that riddle was actively resisting trey's friendship#(presumably because it ended SUPER badly last time and he's learned that if he shows he wants something it gets taken away from him)#and trey had to work REALLY hard to just to get to the point they were at by the time canon starts#that was progress somehow#y'all can call him boring all you want but trey's defining feature really is that he keeps being like#'everything's fine :) this isn't a big deal :) i don't care that much'#(trey on the inside: THIS IS THE BIGGEST DEAL THAT I CARE SO MUCH ABOUT AND I WILL NEVER LET IT GO)#anyway i continue to be absolutely murdered by the timing of riddlepunzel directly after this#riddle's line about not wanting to keep standing in front of a door that's never going to open...#hey. hey silly gacha game about anime disney boys.#you are not actually allowed to do this to me#oh shit oh damn i'm out of tags and i haven't even talked about cater yet. NO BUT I HAVE LOTS OF FEELINGS THERE TOO --#(i am crushed under a falling safe looney tunes style)
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what if his suit WASN'T shrink wrapped
#danny phantom#i wanted to try a slightly more realistic hazmat suit#only slightly#the thought of him having a much bigger size he was meant to grow into... cute... also painful!#wear proper ventilation when dying in your parents lab!#zilly art
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are we still doing this because i have a late submission
#🐉#this is less about fan content and more about that awful lazy one size fits all#'10 years later theyre happily married with a cute little nuclear family' trope#because ive read some genuinely incredible fics about characters who would Not fucking have kids#ending up with accidental pregnancy scares or child acquisitions that get treated with all the nuance#and thoughtful handling they deserve#but also. i reread one of my favourite fics yesterday and when one character jokingly brought up the idea of children#and the other reacted with genuine visceral disgust and said what hideously awful parents theyd be#i lit up like a fucking christmas tree
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Gravity Text Post (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
#barely beating the 'only draws Ford' allegations with that first drawing#However. He is my blorbo so he is the one I think of most when I see random text posts. That first one tho. IMMEDIATELY thought of Stan#Gravity Falls#Gravity Falls Fanart#GF fanart#fanart#fan art#memes#text post meme#Ford Pines#Stanford Pines#Grunkle Ford#Stan Pines#Stanley Pines#Grunkle Stan#Dipper Pines#Mabel Pines#adult Mabel Pines#adult Dipper Pines#The Mystery Twins#Sorry these guys just have so many name varients#Bill Cipher#cw cursing#artists on tumblr#digital art#my art
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Kinda obsessed with headcanon, where Damian and Jason just randomly (out of nowhere, completely unprompted) start to referring to their shared past in the League in the middle of the family conversations, while everyone just stare at them in concern
Like
Jason, staring at Dick, trying to put Tim's shoulder back: huh, do you remember that one time-
Damian, instantly: when grandfather's shoulder relocated by itself, but instead of properly putting in on its place, he killed himself and mother threw him in the Lazarus Pit?
Jason, cackling: it was hilarious
Damian, no less amused: right?
Bruce, sitting behind them: (concerned sips of tea)
Or, it is not necessarily funny, but it just cute (or sad) details, regarding each other that others are confused about.
Jason, who accidentally fell asleep in the Batcave: (instinctively cards through his hair as he naps)
Tim, teasing: ladies and gentlemen, the criminal lord of the year--
Damian: Drake, bluntly, that's not funny. Back when he was out of the Pit, this was the only thing that could help him to calm down.
Dick, knowing that this is because Bruce constantly stroked Robin!Jason's hair, when he saw nightmares, with eyes full of tears: oh
Jason on the random Friday night, trying to be less awkward about staying with Bruce in one room: actually, Damian's first word was my name
Bruce: really?
Jason: he had, uh, problems with saying his first word. People around him were constantly speaking on both language at the same time, and, I guess, he couldn't figure out what to say. Then, Ra's said that if his heir doesn't get his word in the next two weeks, he will throw him in the Lazarus Pit (as a joke), but I wasn't sure if it was a joke (Talia said later it was), and I panicked, and since Talia wasn't around, I just kept repeating him her name, or just word Mother, but he just, uh, wouldn't say anything - kept blinking and staring at me like a little idiot. And then on a random night, he just grabbed me by the hair, and said, Jason. Food. And he kinda spoke properly since then. Like in full sentences and stuff. I think he just didn't want to speak with us, actually--
Bruce, getting grey hair out of nowhere: RA'S SAID WHAT--
And sometimes they just speak in Arabic, and Damian keeps bullying Jason that his skills are getting rustier.
#i just miss my blorbos#kids struggling with first words when having a multilanguage surroundings so REAL#i was silent until i was like 4-5 bc i was taught three languages at the same time#then on a random night got annoyed and spoke in the whole sentence all while my family thought i was mute or something#never shut up since then tbh#dc universe#dcu#dcu comics#jason todd#red hood#damian wayne#robin#bruce wayne#batman#batfam#batfamily#dick grayson#tim drake
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Bridge to turnabout doodles
#EDGEWORTH WITH THE CRANE FOLDING IS SO FUNNY AND SO CUTE LOL#and hearing characters react to his glare + his own monologue about it is peak#I wanna revisit the first case after I finish this now that I now abt Diego Armando#I think that whole debacle had to do with dahlia also poisoning him but since I didn’t know much abt him at the time I wanna see again#iris and pearl have similar glaring(?) faces and its really cute#when I went to visit iris again in the detention centre after poking around the temple i was startled when gumshoe followed me LOL#I guess hes kind of like my substitute for maya???#and they voiced edgeworths take that line when I had to use the Magatama thats so neat!!!!#I squinted and they did the same thing for the dialogue button and talk screens- his silhouette is where phoenix’s would be#I thought that was a really nice subtle touch#doodles#my art#myart#ace attorney#aa#trials and tribulations#bridge to turnabout#im still really early in the case though#mia fey#iris fey#diego armando#dick gumshoe#miles edgeworth#phoenix wright
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(KCD2 SPOILERS)
So. I’ve been laughing about this like all day and I need to talk about it. My gay ship just went canon in the most male power fantasy game of all time.
Kingdom Come Deliverance 2 recently released (I’ve been playing it, it’s good). It’s an RPG set in medieval Bohemia. You play as Henry, a blacksmith’s son. The first game, released back in 2018, starts with your village being burned to the ground and everyone either is killed or has to flee. The rest of that game is you trying to, among various things, deal with your trauma and get revenge. It’s a very well executed story in my opinion.
A notable character in the game is Lord Hans Capon, who was a real guy but the game version is a bit loosely based on him. Hans and Henry become rivals then friends. Their noble/peasant dynamic is reminiscent of Arthur and Merlin in BBC Merlin (though I would argue the class dynamics are far better executed and more nuanced). Like ten people including me decided to ship them.
The first game was a bit rough but overall good. It garnered a decent audience, including a notably large audience of straight white men who really like medieval history but not enough to know much about it beyond swords are cool. You get the picture.
The second game is announced. Those guys I mentioned are super excited!
Well. As it turns out there’s going to be a homosexual relationship in the game, according to an announcement made by the director at the end of January. Uh oh. W-well as long as it’s not the main character-
Cue release day, February 4th. IT IS!!!
HANS AND HENRY. It’s THEM! They have sex ON SCREEN. No nuance about it (though it’s important to note this is an option you have to CHOOSE).
The guys go crazy. KCD has gone woke they cry. And to make it worse there’s *gasp* a black man in a Bohemian court! DEI!
I can’t believe Warhorse Studios did it. I’m genuinely amazed. I have never been so vindicated in my life.
Everyone play this game for the love of god. The combat is tough but there’s plenty of guides online. It’s worth it I promise. (However, caution that the co-owner of the studio is a bit of a shithead. I just try to ignore him, but I get it if that’s a dealbreaker.)
#added a little note about vávra at the end since I didn’t expect this to get more than like ten notes and I think he deserves his own tw#added a spoiler up at the top. it won’t help since the reblogs are why it’s spreading around untagged but I might as well#my own fault there. I should have thought to put that at the top earlier#kcd2#kcd2 spoilers#kingdom come deliverance#kingdom come deliverance 2#kingdom come deliverance 2 spoilers#gay#Len text#I need people to play this game#I need more people#please please please please please please please please#when I say ‘male power fantasy’ I’m oversimplifying#kcd has plenty of aspects of it that feed into this perception but it’s also more nuanced than that#medieval#video game#drama#video game drama#long post#I don’t really like the director he seems kind of annoying but I will give him points for this
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Was looking at refs and since Viktor has two different leg braces I was wondering, do we think he wears them simultaneously?? The refs don't perfectly line up perspective-wise so it's hard to tell but parts of the one he wears during the Hexcore scenes look like they could maybe line up with the brace that he wears over his clothes, but also some parts really don't and look like they'd be super uncomfy. Also HOW does he take these on and off. Experts weigh in
#viktor#arcane#ig my assumption would be that he wears both simultaneously cause in the scene where he injects the shimmer#it seems implied that he just threw off his clothes and kept experimenting#so one might assume he was already wearing the smaller one underneath#tho it is a funny image to think of him just being like 'one sec i gotta go all the way home and grab my other brace to do this'#he can take off the back brace too cause hes not wearing it in the scene where he's in the hospital bed and you can see his shoulder#where the strap would be#but that one seems to make even less sense functionality wise#everything looks like its screwed together#or screwed INTO him#but only the top bolts on his spine are i think#in the close ups of his back brace model it looks like theres cushioning underneath the parts of it that cover the rest of his spine#so he can take it off. but HOW#what parts of it unscrew/detatch to pull open and off#does it not do that at all and he just has to shimmy it off his shoulder and all the way down his legs to get it off like a romper#the shape language of the designs are cool but like. tell me how it wooorrkkksss#forgive me if im just dumb and dont know at all how braces work and theres a very simple practical explanation for all this#any king who wants to infodump about mobility aids at me....the floor is yours#something to be said i suppose about the fact that zaunites have crazy prosthetics with wild augmentations that work flawlessly#and piltover's like. idk heres some fucking uncomfortable ass metal. salo gets wheelchair in non ada compliant place#they havent ever needed to adapt to accommodate disabilities etc etc#or maybe artists were just like 'heres a design' and everybody clapped and didnt give it a second thought#and then they just turned off the visibility on the mesh when they didnt need it knowing thered not be a scene where its taken off#dont even wanna THINK about what that rig would look like#like 40 different controllers#soft body and rigid hard surfaces needing to move together....#a cold chill just shot up my spine#<- guy who is only an animator and doesnt know how to rig#forgive the magic wand tool with zero cleanup. i am lazy
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