#when i blew up past that things got bad fast

[momo-minomo]

Fic Fairy Friday: Tim and Jason Brotherhood

I love Jason and Tim, they're hands down the most chaotic and petty people in their entire family. I wish they'd be teamed up more often in the comics because every time they do the snark and sass is everywhere!

Unfortunately the Batfam fandom has developed a lot of misconceptions about their past and relationship. The main misconceptions are thinking Jason hates Tim and what happened during their fight in Titan's Tower. Fandom thinks Jason came there to murder his replacement and Tim was ruthlessly beaten down and begged for his hero to stop. In reality, Jason had grown to hate the very idea of Robin (a child soldier fighting and dying for Batman's neverending war) and came to Titan's Tower to convince Tim to quit as well as to prove to himself that Tim wasn't better than him and that Bruce didn't just trade up for a better Robin when Jason died. When talking didn't work he decided that to save this kid's life (and prove to himself that he wasn't just an inferior failure) he was going to MAKE him quit.

But if Batman, Alfred, and Lady Shiva can't control Tim Drake Jason didn't stand a snowball's chance in hell so Tim put up a hell of a fight and even when he was bleeding on the floor, barely conscious but always happy to be petty and go for the low blow, he went out hitting Jason where it hurt by defiantly stating that even beaten and bloody he is STILL better than Jason. They've long since patched things up between them, tho, and more than once in the comics Jason has made it clear that Tim is his most trusted brother. There was even that period just before Tim became RR where Jason was trying to recruit Tim to be HIS Robin so Jason could be gun!Batman and Tim was so annoyed and done with him lol. I do still enjoy the accidental brother or woobie Tim fics and will probably link a few exceptional ones here and there but I'd love to see more fics with the two being equals that trust and rely on each other, too.

This Dark Ceiling Without a Star by Miss_Lazy_Tuesday

Summary:

“For fuck’s sake, your chatter is going to drive me crazy faster than this stupid spell.” “Then you talk!” “There’s no point!” Jason snaps. “I can feel it, okay. It’s—there’s no emotion behind it, it’s not using my thoughts. It’s just a bunch of weird Greek echoing in my brain and a compulsion to act. And it’s getting stronger. Talking isn’t going to slow it down.” “Then what will slow it down?” After five long seconds of silence, Tim gives into the urge and viciously jabs his fist into Jason’s leg for the second time. “Goddammit, why?” Jason snaps, green briefly sparking in his eyes before disappearing just as quickly. “You are not seriously going to just sit there and wait to die.” “The hell do you care anyway?” “Because I don’t want you to die! Obviously!” “You fucking should.”

Momo's Notes: These boys need SO MUCH THERAPY! Tim and Jason are trapped underneath a collapsed building, Tim is slowly bleeding out, and Jason has been cursed to sacrifice himself to help power up a spell. So of course being robins they're going to remain calm, work together, and not spend their precious little oxygen arguing, right? Right? Oh goddammit boys!

Life in the Fast Lane by TheResurrectionist

Summary:

“So, let me get this straight,” Dick said, frowning, “You stole a car, kidnapped Tim, got in a high-speed chase, stole another car, fought a bunch of cartel members, and blew up a chop shop...all to get a minivan back?” “First of all, Timothy was a willing participant,” Jason said, crossing his arms, “And when you put it like that, it sounds bad.” “Jason, it sounds bad no matter how I put it!”

Momo's Notes: It's both refreshing and incredibly funny to see Tim and Jason just being normal brothers that annoy the shit out of each other while they're stealing cars and trying to take down asshole gangs out of costume. This entire fic is just chaotic shenanigans and It's so fun.

Good Fellows by thatcuriouscat

Summary:

After rescuing Bruce from floating around the past, Tim is Not Okay. What comes next after losing everything that really matters? Tim’s got some thoughts. So do the rest of the family. And Ra’s al Ghul. …And the Joker. Jason looks murderous. “God DAMN it, Tim, this was not the situation I had in mind when I generously taught you how to be a younger brother out of the kindness of my heart!” Even more shocked by this, Dick asks incredulously, “You, Jason Todd-Wayne, tried to give younger brother lessons? Where did you even get the audacity?” Jason rounds on him hotly. “Bitch, you wish you knew how to be a younger brother!” “FOCUS,” Tim demands. “We’ve got like, an hour to pull this off.”

Momo's Notes: I know I recommended this one for the Dick and Tim brotherhood recs but this story revolves around the three oldest batbrothers and has equally good characterization and interactions for Jason as it did with Dick. Jason's pov pages are some of the most witty and fun in the whole story and the brotherhood that forms between Tim and Jason over the course of this fic is unique.

The Right Substitution is Key by AddictedApple

Summary:

“The Red Hood has been good for Gotham,” Robin continued. “Crime in Park Row decreased by sixty one percent almost as soon as you showed up, and that’s even taking into account all the crime you commit. Drug overdoses have decreased by twenty two percent in adults and seventy nine percent in minors. Homeless minors are ninety two percent less likely to—” “Kid,” Jason interrupted. “Enough statistics. What the hell is this about?” Robin slowly lowered the tablet with his powerpoint presentation and looked up at Red Hood. “You care about Gotham,” Robin summarized. “Gotham needs Batman. Batman is missing and so is Nightwing. We need you to fill in for Batman.” “You want me to cover Batman’s patrols?” Jason clarified. “No,” Robin said. “I want you to be Batman.” Jason bluescreened. (Or: Batman and Nightwing mysteriously disappear before Red Hood has even started antagonizing them, Robin is desperate, Gotham needs Batman, and Red Hood is Batman-Shaped.)

Momo's Notes: An AU where Jason calmed the hell down before returning to Gotham, both Batman and Nightwing go missing, and Tim doesn't know who this new Red Hood guy is but statistics don't lie, he's making a positive difference in Gotham. That makes him the PERFECT candidate to take over as Batman until they can find him. Jason can't believe ANY of these idiots survived while he was "gone"

a kidnapping a day (keeps the board of directors away) by doingthewritethings

Summary:

And, well. He gets impatient when he’s already in pain. He’s still got fifteen minutes until the meeting is set to begin, and the chances of him slapping Mr. Smith-Harguson so hard that the man’s toupee flies off are rising exponentially by the second. Yeah, that settles it. He needs an excuse to get out of here, and he needs it fast. - for the prompt 'jason todd, lover of fake kidnappings, meets tim drake, lover of chaos', but it... got out of hand. happy pride

Momo's Notes: There are no words for how much I love Batfamily shenanigans and Tim and Jason are always the perfect combo for said chaotic shenanigans! Basically Tim and Jason's version of brotherly bonding is to stage fake kidnappings to get Tim out of whatever soul-sucking responsibility he desperately wants to escape from today starting with a board meeting on a day the chronic pain is especially horrific. This fic also has queer and trans batfam which makes it just chef's kiss

Little Red and the Big Bad Hood by CrzyFun

Summary:

Olivia Draper had been a good idea at first. She could pass for older than Tim could pull off while masculine and women really could get into places easier if they had a pretty face. With makeup and some stylish-yet-inexpensive clothes, Olivia could pull off most undercover ops. She was Tim’s Matches Malone. Then Hood had shown up on the scene. When Jason met Olivia, he hadn't intended to pull a Bruce and take the scrappy teen informant under his wing. She just kept showing up where he was doing business. He had no other choice than to keep an eye on her. And kit her out with armor so she wouldn't accidentally get shot. And make sure she was being treated fairly by her mysterious boss. And, okay, maybe become her big brother.

Momo's Notes: I love a good fic with a genderfluid Tim Drake! This is an au where Tim decided his main alternate ID to gather info would be Olivia Draper rather than Alvin. Cue Red Hood getting very annoyed at the obviously underaged girl sneaking into clubs full of dangerous gangsters. This one is a fun accidental enemy to caretaker with a chaotic and sassy Tim that knows he can get on Hood's every nerve with zero consequences with bonus outraged and annoyed Stephanie!

Last Laugh, First Steps by CloakedSparrow

Summary:

Running a large portion of the Gotham underground as a benevolent crime lord was harder than Jason thought it would be, but still well within the range of what he could handle. All in all, it wasn’t that different from being the type of vigilante Bruce had trained him to be become. He was feeling like he was doing a decent job as part of the Bat Family these days. The Wayne family, he wasn't so sure about. Until he receives an unexpected call from Dick while on patrol one night and the words he hears next change everything. Tim's hurt...the Joker's involved. B and Little D are out of town. Cass is here with me and it’ll take us too long t- “Where?” His death. His anger. His father. His role as a brother, as a son, as a grandson. Jason decides its time to take it all on. If he's going to help his little brother recover, then he's going to have to heal himself as well.

Momo's Notes: This is technically part 42 of a series kind of generically called "Collected Bat-Family Stories" that are actually all set in the same AU. Last Laugh is an amazing entry in the series that can be read as a stand alone fic but I'd honestly recommend going into the series page and starting from the beginning. There are fics in there that aren't Tim or Jason-centric but it's all part of one narrative and Tim and Jason are really the main characters of the whole series and it's so fun to watch their brotherhood grow and deepen. If you're a fan of Wayne Family Adventures I think you'll love this one since the characterizations are very similar imho (aside from Damian but he's slowly growing as a person over the story and will eventually get there).

middle children must unionize by Poteto

Summary: Jason realizes no one is taking care of Tim - not even Tim himself. He decides to do something about it.

Momo's Notes: Jason doesn't like how things went down between Tim and Dick when their big brother gave Robin to Damian and decides if no one else is gonna take care of the 16 year old like the kid he is and not the adult they expect him to be then he'll just have to step up and do it himself.

Playlists:

[fadewalking]

1, 5, and 15 <3

Salty Munday // @elvisqueso

1. How salty are you feeling right now? i feel MORE salty after answering that last one, so let's call it a 5/10 now.

5. a ship everyone in the fandom you're in loves, but you can't stand?

don't crucify me but i cannot get behind Adoribull. I've tried to see the vision and i can't. i do not like it. i do not ship it. You can ship it if you want to, like live laugh love honestly, i love that u guys love it, but I shan't be partaking. I'm sure it has it's merits somewhere I just can't find em😭😭😭

15. Have you ever done something out of spite? You KNOW i have lmfao. you could probably recall those times better than I could tbh. Buuut. do you remember the Official Tumblr for [Previous Fandom] and how everyone in the fandom was absolutely in love with him bc he was funny and interacted with our posts? Well he got fired. And he was replaced with a lady who never interacted with people's posts and stopped making fun joke posts.

Well i got death threats from the Evanuris (my term for the other mega popular blogs in [Previous Fandom] because they all had shitty, over-egotistical personalities) about how I BETTER NOT tell the Fandom that he was fired bc it would cause mass chaos. So I kept my mouth shut about it, until the day I left to start this blog. Where I gave my goodbye & good riddance post, and then mic dropped with a "Oh and btw, the rumors are true. That guy was fired. Goodbye."

[toastermuffles]

Hey guys welcome to my massive rant about q!Fit and how cc!Fit is incredibly talented and underrated. Since y'all kinda blew up my twitter post LOL.

There are SO many things I could touch on so it's probably gonna be scattered around a lot.

1) Fit had a great character set up from the beginning. From the very start many people knew Fits reputation as a 2b2t veteran, a place with a toxic environment and brutal people. He was no exception, he was closed off to relationships and was very cautious/closed off to many things. Not only that but his past made people distrust him in the beginning. I loved the suspense it brought with his character and the question of why he WAS actually here. Since the whole "vacation" thing was never very convincing. My favourite part was a lot of this was IMPLIED! He built on the character he portrayed in his YT videos and it worked so well, adding small comments about his character here and there (like when he said q!Fits hearing was bad BC of all the explosions he's experienced).

2) His RP skills were another level, not only was he in character almost the WHOLE time when he was live (even donos) when he first did lore he would tease elements of it by writing cryptic messages when others were live. SUCH a good idea when you have a smaller audience and want to create suspense. Not only that, he would have set dates and times for BIG lore stuff, this honestly made it so much easier to keep track of and engage in, not only alone but with friends too! His actual lore was very different from many others, it was cinematic and well planned, yet it still left room for sudden changes. The final result was a cohesive story line that the audience could interpret. I just loved how I could understand what was happening but also have questions/cliffhangers!

3) the fucking MUSIC. Throughout his lore and start of his streams I adored his choice of music, "Stranger in Paradise" being a personal favourite that was not only reoccurring in more than one language but fit SO WELL. I also think it was very clever how a lot of his music choices for his character didn't make sense until you understand the full story e.g. "Can't say goodbye to yesterday". All of this really added a new perspective on his character, almost through cc!Fits own eyes. Along with his music choice just being absolute bops OFC.

4) THE SYMBOLISM. My absolute favourite lore moment of his was at the end of the "Attachments" lore stream. Where the sun is setting over the mountain, slowly covering a patch of roses in darkness. ALL WHILE an instrumental Italian version of "Stanger in paradise" played. Roses of course being a symbol of not only his and Pac's relationship but love in general. His love for Ramon and his friends. The love he had to grow, just like a rose. While the darkness symbolizes his past catching up to him, more specifically his deadline. His time with his family and friends ending, his loves disappearing. Chefs kiss because it makes me cry everytime fr.

5) q!Fit's sexuality (gay). There is something so poetic about a gay guy from an extremely homophobic wasteland learning to come to terms with his own sexuality and love in general. Him slowly building a loving relationship with Ramon, Growing feelings for Pac, Nervously coming out to his son and then finally indulging in the first relationship and FAMILY he had ever had. Finally learning to love and to be loved in return. Even if he is scared about his mission, or taking things too fast. Just learning to live a normal life.

6) Fitmc is criminally underrated and overlooked. I still remember when Fit got his first proper piece of fanart in the museum. It was like... JULY? or something. And I think that says enough. People had no idea he was even doing lore at some points. Averaging at about 1-2k viewers in the beginning, until hideduo came into the mix. A lot but still compared to others very low. I think because his viewers consisted of his YT audience it didn't translate well. But I'm so glad he was able to build a loving community on twitch <3

Anyways it's 3am for me, I probably have more to talk about but this is basically what I meant when I posted that tweet. Feel free to reblog and add your own favourite observations or moments. I wanna hear them! ❤️

[muffinpink02]

Co-Host

Leah and Lucy have never got on. An event they both attend brings them a little bit closer. Do they start to see things eye to eye? God I hate summary's.

Chapters 1 of 4 part 2 here

Warnings - Smut, all the good stuff

Lucy is a friendly person, she gets on with most people she meets. She’s easy going, she isn’t an in your face kind of person, she keeps herself to herself. She’s respectful to others, and even if she didn’t agree with something, she would still be able to get along with the person in a friendly manner.

But there was one person Lucy didn’t get on with, and her name is Leah Williamson.

Lucy and Leah’s dislike for each other started a couple years back. The hatred started when they first played against each other in Leah’s first over 21’s game.

The girls had never officially met prior to the game. Though Leah had already heard about Lucy, she was becoming a known name within women’s football. Lucy had a couple years on Leah, and if Leah was honest she was a bit nervous to play against her. She had heard how good she was and how hard she was to get past on the pitch.

It had gone half time and the game was getting to Leah. She had barely touched the ball and when she did, the defender was always hot on her heels. Lucys team was up by 3.

7 minutes into the second half and Leah finally had possession of the ball. She was clear, nobody was in her way. She could see the goal keeper trying to work out where she was going to shoot. She could practically taste the goal, until she felt a strong body next to hers. Lucy was able to get the ball back with no issue, she hardly even touched the blonde. Lucy cleared the ball away, and Leah lost it. She didn’t think about what she was doing. She tackled Lucy, hard. She knew the ball was gone. She could have easily stopped herself, but her anger got the better of her. She went in hard with her right foot, against the defender’s shin.

As soon as she heard the brunette cry out she regretted it. Lucy was rolling on the floor, holding her leg, she could see the pain in her face. She knew it was a stupid thing to do. The ref blew her whistle and held up a red card.

She heard the boo’s from the crowd. She then felt someone shove her, it was Jordan Nobbs. “What are you playing at?” She was in Leah’s face now, pure anger in her voice.

Her own teammates got in-between them. The ref came over and told Leah to leave the pitch. It all happened so fast. She could feel the dread in her stomach. She looked again at the brunette. She saw tears in the defenders eyes, the medics were beside her in seconds.

Lucy had to miss two games because of the injury. And she never got an apology from the girl. Leah was suspended for 3 games.

After the game Leah’s manager didn’t hold back. She told her how stupid it was, how it affects the team, even how she could have ruined the other players life with an injury, and everything else to make her feel bad. Even a few of her team mates made a few comments. Lucy had played with these girls in previous teams so they probably had some kind of friendship with her.

Since then they couldn’t stand each other. For Lucy it was the sheer lack of respect Leah had for her. Leah knew she did wrong that day. The shame of what she did turned into embarrassment, that then turned into anger and resentment towards the defender.

Over the years it always got heated on the pitch when they played against each other. There would be a pull of the shirt here, and stepping on an ankle there. It was a known fact that they couldn’t stand each other. Some people joked that they needed to have it out in the boxing ring.

—————-

“Yeah the green looks good!” Georgia was on Lucy’s phone screen, the girls decided to FaceTime each other to get the approval of what they were wearing for the charity event.

Lucy and many other players had been invited to a charity event in London. It was a charity to help children get into sports all over the world. A lot of big names were going to be at the event, so she wanted to look good. Thankfully some of the England squad were going, it was always easier at these things when you knew a few faces. She messaged Georgia, Ella, Alessia and Keira to see what they were wearing. And that’s how she came to have Georgias face on her phone.

Lucy stood in her floor length mirror, looking at herself. She knew she could rock a suit, but dahm she looked good in this one. “Yeah I think I’ll go with this one.” She pushed her glasses back up her nose and smiled at herself.

She took a few photos and sent them to the group chat with Georgia, Keira, Alessia and Ella. She got responses quickly.

Ella - Yessss Bronze!!! 🔥🔥🔥🔥 FITTT

Georgia - 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼 DRIP

Keira - Nice!! 👌 ❤️

Alessia - Love it Lucy!!! You look good 😍😍

Lucy was happy to get the approval from her friends. They also sent their outfits photos, to which they all looked good, and Lucy hyped them up just the same.

A few hours later Lucy was in her home gym. The brunette was working out a sweat on her punch bag. Thats when she got a call from her agent. She pulled off one of her gloves straps with her teeth. She answered it, loud speaker on.

“Hey Lucy! Can you talk? Is it a bad time?”

Lucy breathed hard, wiping the sweat from her four head with her arm. “Hi Lisa, no, all good, I’m just working out. What’s up?”

Lisa sounded weird, like she was excited but there was a slight off tone to it. “Oh, great. Well I was just calling to let you know the organisers at the charity event wants you to announce one of the awards.” 

Lucy wasn’t surprised by the request, she was an ambassador for a charity herself.

“Yeah, sounds good. It’s not a long speech is it?”

“No, no. Just a quick award, the usual..”

Lucy could hear there was something else in Lisa voice, she had heard it before when giving Lucy bad news. “What’s wrong Lisa?”

Lisa waited a few seconds before answering. “They want you to present the award with someone.”

Lucy scrunched her face in confusion, why would that be a problem?

“Right, that’s fine? Isn’t that what happens most of the time? Who’s it with?”

Lisa once again fell silent. “….They want you to do the award with Leah Williamson.”

Lucy stopped mid stretch.

“Are you serious? Please tell me you’re joking? Why would they do that?”

Lisa scoffed, “Probably to make it seem like even they can bring two mortal enemies together with the power of charity.” Lucy could hear the sarcasm in Lisa’s voice.

The brunette shut her eyes in frustration and took a deep breath through her nose. “Well I’m just gong to have to do it, I don’t need to talk to the girl.”

Lisa sounded relieved. “Thank god. I’ll tell them you’ll do it. It’ll be fine, you don’t need to be best friends. Anyways, I’ll let you go, I’ll send you more details once I have them.”

Lucy started to fit the boxing glove back to her left hand. “Okay, sounds good. Talk to you later.”

Lisa ended the call. Lucy went back to her boxing bag. At least she’ll have something to focus her anger while boxing now.

2 weeks had passed and tonight was the charity event. Lucy was getting ready in her room. She had gone for light natural make up and was rocking her green suit with a clean white vest top that showed off her abs through the thin fabric and a pair of white Nike air max to finish it off. Her hair in her signature bun.

She was trying not to think about the fact that she was going to have to share the stage with Leah tonight. The last 2 weeks the her teammates had joked about the situation. They even had bets on who would win in a fight, Lucy was more than pissed that 4 of the girls on the team actually picked Leah.

She was interrupted from her thoughts when a text came through.

Alessia - outside x

Lucy had a car picking her up for the event, luckily Alessia lived close by so they were able to go to the event together. Lucy took one more look in her mirror and made her way outside. She was more than relieved to have Alessia with her. She opened the door to see the striker in a beautiful gold dress.

“Hey Luce! Oh my god, you look even better in real life! I love the suit.”

Lucy smiled, she loved it when Alessia hyped her up, it always seemed so genuine.

“Thanks Russo. You look stunning, gold really suits you.”

Alessia smiled at the compliment, she actually seemed shy from the comment. “Thank you Luce. I’m looking forward to tonight, there’s going to be an after party!”

Lucy smiled at her teammate, she loved how enthusiastic she was being, it made her think tonight wasn’t going to be too bad. They chatted all the way to the event, even taking some selfies. They arrived to a sea of photographers, flashing lights everywhere. Lucy would never get used to this part of the job. Photo shoots she could live with, but this was always a whole other world. She was just thankful to have someone with her.

She felt Alessia touch her back. A gentle reminder that she wasn’t alone. They made their way through the sea of flashing lights. They finally caught up with their teammates. They grabbed a sofa area before they could sit at their assigned seats.

Ella was sitting next to Lucy on the sofa, she nudged Lucy with her elbow. Lucy turned to see why Ella was bugging her. She smirked at Lucy and nodded her head to the direction in front of her.

“Eh up, it’s your co-host Bronze. Wow, she looks hot.”

Lucy looked in the direction Ella had nodded to, and she was right. There stood Leah, she was chatting to a TV host Lucy recognised but couldn’t tell you the name of. Lucy screwed up her face at the ‘hot’ comment. “Oi, whose side are you on? You can’t say she’s hot.”

Ella laughed and looked back at the blonde “Na sorry Luce, she does look hot, you have eyes, you can’t say she doesn’t look good.” The other girls had now taken interest in the conversation and looked around to see for themselves.

Keira was first to comment. “Oh yeah, she does look good. I knew she was fit but wow.” Lucy curled up her lip in disbelief. “Erm, sorry did we forget we don’t like her?” A smile crept of her face and the girls and Lucy laughed.

She did take a look at the blonde herself and the girls weren’t wrong, she did look good, Lucy could easily admit that. Leah was wearing a black dress that hugged her at the best bits, a high opening at the top of her thigh, exposing a bit of skin, and gold heels to finish it off. Her hair was down and straight. Lucy couldn’t take her eyes off her.

They were finally able to sit at their assigned seats. All the girls were together, with a few other names on their table. Ella was making small talk about football with Rylan Clarke and Lucy and the others stayed on their phones. They had been to events like this before and they could be a little boring, so no one judged you for having a scroll through your phone.

Lucy had a few glasses of Prosecco to give her some Dutch courage. It’s not like she was shaking in her seat with nerves but it always made it easier having a few bubbles in you, she also wasn’t sure how this was going to go with Leah. They hadn’t even acknowledged each other since they arrived.

Half an hour later a member of staff came to collect Lucy. The girls wished her luck. She was feeling fine, the alcohol was definitely helping, she wasn’t drunk but felt warm and light. She was ushered back stage where she found Leah already waiting. The blonde gave her a tight smile and nod, Lucy returned it. She couldn’t help but notice how good the blonde looked. They had at least 5 minutes before they had to walk on stage. Lucy was listening to the other presenters on stage, trying not to make it anymore awkward than it already was.

“I can’t do it.”

Lucy turned around to a pale looking Leah. She looked like a deer in headlights

“What?”

“I can’t do this, I’m freaking out. God I knew I should have just said no.” Leah was starting to panic, she could feel her hands shaking.

She bent forward hands on her knees the girl looked liked she was about to be sick. Lucy gingerly stepped forward to Leah, she put her hand out to touch Leah’s back but thought better of it.

Leah wanted the floor to swallow her whole, she couldn’t believe she was having a breakdown in front of Lucy. Of all people.

Lucy wasn’t really sure what to do. She didn’t know Leah, she didn’t have the best relationship with the girl. Now she was having a meltdown, moments before they were meant to be on live television. She would be more than happy to go out alone if she needed to.

Leah stood up she looked like she was about to cry. For some reason seeing Leah close to tears stirred something inside of the brunette. She didn’t like the girl but she didn’t want to see her like this either.

Leah could feel her eyes watering, she was in full panic now.

“Leah it’s okay. You can do this, you’ve had bigger audiences than this, this is nothing for you.” Lucy was sure that would be enough.

Leah puffed out her cheeks, a tear falling from her eye. “God, sorry, I can’t believe I’m crying in front of you.” Lucy couldn’t believe Leah was this nervous. Their history was pushed aside for a moment.

Lucy took Leah by the shoulders. Leah was clearly taken aback by the touch and tensed up under Lucy’s hands. “Hey, look, I know this isn’t the easiest of things, I get it. I hated doing things like this before. But you are Leah fucking Williamson, one of the best football players out there, what do you have to be nervous about?”

Leah wiped her eye and chuckled. “Wow, I did not ever expect to hear those words come out of your mouth.” She could feel Lucy’s strong hands on her bare skin. She was close enough to smell her perfume. It smelt like a perfume Leah had of her own. The touch distracted her for a split second from her worries. She also couldn’t believe Lucy had said she thought she was a good football player.

Lucy smiled, she was happy to see she got the girl to laugh, Lucy once again couldn’t help but notice just how beautiful the girl was up close. She felt her tension leave her shoulders.

“Yeah, well don’t get used to it. Look, if you want I can do all the talking, you can read out the winner? Or you can just come out? I’m easy.” Lucy stepped back, letting go of the blonde.

Leah sniffled and took a deep breath, dabbing the corners of her eyes lightly, trying not to mess up her make up. “Could you maybe do the talking, and we read out the winner together?…If thats okay?” Lucy couldn’t help but notice how weak her voice sounded.

“No, that’s all good with me. Don’t worry you’ll be fine. Just breathe through it.” Lucy gave her a small smile.

Leah gave her a genuine smile back. Before any more could be said a young girl from the stage crew came over, with a headset on. “Hey ladies, okay, your cues will be in front of you on the projector with your names. Make sure to smile and no swearing.” She smiled and ushered them over to the side of the stage. She looked to be listening to someone in her ear. “I have Lucy and Leah now, they are clear to go.” Lucy then heard their names being called out on the speakers by a pre recorded voice, the lady smiled and gestured for them to go on stage.

Lucy started to walk, she could hear the audience clapping. She then felt a hand hook around her arm. Lucy looked around to see Leah attached to her. Leah smiled at her almost pleading her not move her arm away, she clearly needed the support.

Leah didn’t realise she had reached out to Lucy. She needed to feel something close to her, she needed something to ground her. Lucy smiled and carried on walking, she pulled Leah closer to her without thinking twice. As soon as Lucy pulled the girl closer, Leah felt like she could breathe again.

Lucy read out all the script, like she said she would, still feeling Leah attached to her arm. They read out the winner together, still noticing how small Leah’s voice was. They congratulated the winner and walked off the stage, Leah walking close by her side.

Another crew member came over, with a headset on his head. “Well done guys, could you follow me please.” They followed the young boy back stage and back down to the floor. Lucy was first to get to her table, and before she could do or say anything, the boy ushered Leah back to her own table. Leah looked like she was about to say something but was quickly rushed by the crew member.

Lucy stood with her back to the table, she watched Leah go to her own table. She turned to see her teammates were staring at her like she had grown two heads.

“What?…is there something on my face?” Panic set in thinking she had done something embarrassing. She slowly sat down, eyes still on her, but no one was talking.

“What’s wrong? What did I do? Did I say the names wrong?”

Ella spoke first. “What was that about?” She nodded her head towards Leah’s table. Ella smiled. “Are you two best friends now?”

Realisation kicked in. Lucy laughed. How was she going to explain this? She wasn’t going to go into detail about Leah’s meltdown, friends or not she wasn’t someone who would talk about someone else behind their back. “She just needed a bit of help. No big deal.” The girls looked at each other, a few smiles and lost looks on their faces.

Georgia laughed. “Well, you looked good together.” The girls all laughed, Lucy laughed with them.

For a split second the comment had Lucy’s mind wonder to what it would be like to be with Leah in more ways than one.

She was interrupted by her thoughts when Keira jumped in. “You did well up there Lucy.” Keira smiled a genuine smile at her and raised her glass. Alessia was pouring Lucy a new glass to drink. The girls all raised their glasses. “To Lucy!” Shouted Ella. They all cheersed and took a drink from their glasses.

“Awww thanks guys.” The girls went into their own conversations. Lucy looked around the room, spotting a few famous faces she recognised, another part of the job she still hadn’t gotten used to. She turned to the right of her, and caught a pair blue eyes watching her. Leah’s blue eyes.

Leah quickly looked away, trying her hardest to act like she hadn’t just been caught in 4k.

Lucy looked back at her drink, smiling to herself as she took a sip of her Prosecco.

Leah kicked herself internally. She had been watching Lucy for a while, and she knew she should have stoped after the first 5 minutes, but she couldn’t help it. When Leah first saw Lucy tonight, she had to pick her mouth up from the ground. Lucy looked really fucking good in her green suit. Leah could see Lucy’s 6 pack through her fitted white t shirt she could have sworn she dribbled. Then seeing her up close backstage didn’t help, she made her more nervous than she already was.

She felt like she could still feel Lucy’s hands on her shoulders, she made her feel so relaxed, just the touch alone calmed her breathing. Don't get her wrong, she knew Lucy didn’t like her or even looked at her in any other way than an enemy. But Leah could still appreciate a good looking woman when she saw one, and she thought that every time she had the pleasure of seeing Lucy. On or off the pitch.

The awards finished and the girls made their way to the after party all in one car. It wasn’t far from the first event. They pulled up to a bar that had a night club underground. They jumped out of the car and were escorted straight in. The DJ was already playing the right kind of music to get you dancing. They were escorted to a reserved table with a few different bottles of drink in ice. They poured what they wanted and made themselves comfy.

More people started drifting in from the charity event and the bar become full. There were a few other girls from different teams on the dance floor. It was mostly athletes at this event as it was a sports charity, so Lucy could spot a few of the other girls out. She also spotted a certain blonde in the middle of the dance floor. Looking a lot more calmer than she did earlier. Ella and Georgia decided they wanted to dance, they made their way to dance floor but not without dragging Lucy down with them.

The girls laughed at Lucy pretending to not want to go, but Lucy didn’t put up a fight, she was the first the start dancing once they got to the dance floor. The other two joined them and all 5 of them were dancing under the strobe lights. After a half hour Lucy made her way to the toilets. She felt the effects of the alcohol hitting her a bit more, after leaving the hot room of bodies.

As she left the toilet stall she was met with Leah’s blue eyes staring back at her in the mirror. She stoped in her tracks for a quick second and made her way to the sink. Leah seemed to be doing something with her make up. She gave a small smile to the girl, and received a tight lipped smile back from Leah, it looked like it hurt her to do it.

Leah nearly dropped her lipgloss when she saw Lucy in the mirror. Lucy was making Leah nervous anytime she was close, she didn’t even have to be talking to her. Just her presence alone was enough.

Lucy wasn’t sure if she should really say anything, it felt more awkward than ever, she preferred it when there was a mutual hatred. The thing is Lucy didn’t hate Leah, she thought she was rude, a bit of a show off but she never hated her. She respected her as a football player, she was being honest when she told Leah she thought she was one of the best. However, if Leah was still going to be cold towards Lucy, even after earlier then she could simply fuck off.

Leah’s brain was in over drive trying to think of something to say. Her mouth became completely dry. She kept glancing at the brunette. Hoping to strike up any conversation.

Lucy gave herself a once over in the mirror before finishing up, and made her way towards the door.

“Thanks.”

Lucy’s paused in her tracks, hand on the door. Did she just hear that right? She turned to see Leah facing her. Lucy raised her eyebrows. She heard Leah but she wanted her to say it again. “Pardon?”

Leah looked at her shoes, clearly finding it hard to resist an eye roll. Lucy smiled internally. Leah looked back up at the defender and took a big breath. “Thank you for earlier. I’m - I’m not the best with all that stuff. Sorry you had to do it all.”

Lucy was shocked, she didn’t think she was going to get a thank you from the girl. She knew that must have taken a lot for Leah, she wasn’t going to gloat or be a dick about it. She smiled at the blonde in front of her. “That’s okay, I could see it was bothering you, it’s nothing.”

Lucy’s smile was becoming a big weakness for Leah.

Leah looked like she relaxed a little, and looked back at Lucy. “Also, sorry for holding on to you. I don’t really know what happened there.”

Lucy smiled her brilliant toothy smile, almost verging on flirty. “Ah that’s okay, don’t apologise for that, I didn’t mind.”

Leah smiled at Lucy with a shy smile, Lucy once again noticing how naturally beautiful the girl was. An awkward silence fell over them. Leah pushed her hair back behind her ear, looking around the room. Lucy was about to do them both a favour and wish Leah a good night but Leah wanted to keep talking.

“I like your suit by the way. Green really suits you. It goes with your eyes.”

Fuck, fuck. Fuck….why did you say that.

Lucy didn’t expect that, and she must have made that clear on her face. Leah looked like she wanted the floor to swallow her whole. In one way Lucy liked seeing Leah squirm, it wasn’t something you saw often on Leah, it was just fun seeing her little pretty face go into panic mode. She’d seen Leah pull a few of these new faces tonight, and she was secretly loving it.

Lucy smirked, and she made sure it was flirty this time. She looked Leah up and down with just enough tease in her eyes. “Erm, thank you. I didn’t know you were looking at me so hard.”

And for the second time that night Leah was a deer in headlights. “Erm - I - I -, sorry, I just like your suit…and I saw your eyes were green, and - and… yeah, wow.” Leah looked like she was about combust. Lucy couldn’t watch her crumble anymore.

Lucy gave out a low chuckle. “Chill Leah, I’m joking. Thank you. You look really, really nice tonight, that dress is beautiful on you.” Lucy knew what she was doing, and was loving what it was doing to Leah.

Leah gave a small laugh, clearly feeling a little shy, from Lucy’s comment and her own comments. She pushed her hair back once more behind her ear. “Thank you.”

Silence fell over them again, Leah grabbed her bag and pointed towards the door. “I better go, the girls are probably wondering where I am.”

She walked towards the door and Lucy opened it for her. She could smell Leah’s sandalwood perfume, a lot like the one Lucy where’s. Lucy watched as the girl walked past her.

“Oh thanks.” Leah smiled shyly up at Lucy.

Lucy smiled back. “No worries.”

She watched the blonde go past and couldn’t help but have a cheeky look at her arse. She knew Leah had a good arse, but she only ever saw it before in football shorts, the dress was doing wonders.

The night went on. Lucy was with her small squad, all the girls was having a good time, many pictures were taken. Lucy posted a few to her story. She posted a picture of her alone, pouring a drink. Her abs were noticeable even through her white T-shirt. She knew she looked good, she knew her stomach looked good and yeah, she wanted to show it off.

Lucy would be lying if she wasn’t trying to look for a certain blonde in the crowd, but she hadn’t seen her since their toilet encounter. To say Lucy wasn’t a bit confused with the night would be an understatement. To be honest she didn’t hate the change in dynamics, she didn’t really like the rivalry between her and Leah. She hated that the press would even make it a topic to write about.

The night got later and the guest started to leave. The girls also called it a night. They had a car waiting for them outside. The event team had booked rooms for the girls at the hotel back where the charity event was held. It was 2 girls per room and Lucy got the long straw of having her own room.

On the way back to the hotel Lucy scrolled through her insta. She noticed a new name on her notifications. She smiled at her phone, seeing Leah Williamson name pop up. She had liked her latest post.

“Aye up, who’s got you smiling?” Georgia was sat opposite Lucy in their taxi.

Lucy looked up at Georgia, she really was like an annoying little sister sometimes. She closed her screen phone, but Keira had already seen what she was smiling at. Lucy smiled and shock her head. “Nothing, just a funny meme.”

Georgia wouldn’t drop it though. “Oh what a liar! Who is it then?”

“Erm you have a cheek.” Keira jumped in. “Wasn’t you flirting with that netball player all night? Shall we talk about that?”

Georgia smirked, and suddenly the view outside was more interesting than the conversation. All the girls laughed including Georgia.

“Mate, you are so red.” Ella laughed at Georgia. The girls started talking about the night and events that happened, questioning Georgia on her affairs.

Lucy caught eyes with Keira and thanked her with a smile. She loved the girls but they could definitely be relentless sometimes.

They finally arrived at the hotel. The girls got in the lift giggling at something Alessia said. They were all a little drunk, nothing too crazy but the drunk kind, when the most stupid thing is the more hilarious thing.

“Right, this is me. I’ll see you guys in the morning for breakfast.”

Lucy was on the floor below her teammates.

“Noooo, let’s keep this going. Drinks in my room.” Georgia pleaded.

“Night Luce, see you tomorrow.” Keira looked stressed to be sharing a room with Georgia.

“No way, I’m off. Good luck Keira. Night all.”

The doors shut on Georgia’s protest.

Lucy walked the hallway to her room, she turned the corner to see a woman standing with her back to her. As she turned around she was met with those blue eyes again. Once again those blue eyes were in a state of shock.

“Oh my god, what are you doing here?”

Leah couldn’t believe her luck. Katie decided to bring a girl back to their shared hotel room. She saw the sock on the door and nearly lost her shit. She couldn’t complain too hard though, she had done the same thing 2 months ago to Katie and she didn’t complain.

Seeing Lucy in front of her was a bit of a shock. She seemed to bump into the girl a lot tonight. Seeing Lucy made her feel lots of different things, she couldn’t put her finger on just one. But excited was definitely the first word she could think of, but why was she here?

“Going to my room?” Lucy said it with a tone of sarcasm. Lucy wasn’t that shocked to see Leah, most of the hotel was booked for the events guest tonight.

“What are you doing here? Why you standing in the hallway?”

Lucy walked towards her room. Leah was clearly stressed about something, she nodded towards a door down from Lucy’s. It had a sock on the door nob.

Lucy raised her eyebrows. “Oh. I see, who you sharing with?”

Leah put her arms around herself. “McCabe.”

Lucy nodded her head. “I haven’t seen that in a while.”

Leah pulled out her phone. “I’ll just have to book somewhere else. I can’t be asked to get into anything with her.”

The next words out of Lucy’s mouth wasn’t thought through, they came out before she even realised she said it.

“You can stay with me?”

Leah was the one to raise her eye brows this time. She clearly wasn’t expecting that from Lucy. She didn’t want to assume anything either. Lucy doesn’t like her like that, she was just trying to be nice. She probably just felt bad. But she could still feel the butterflies in her stomach.

It felt like a lifetime of silence before Leah replied. Lucy never had so many silent conversations in her life before tonight.

“No, god. I don’t want to put you out. I’ll just wait in reception or something.” Leah put her hand on her forehead and closed her eyes, clearly annoyed at the thought of waiting around.

Lucy once again feeling bad for the blonde in front of her tonight, this was becoming a habit.

“No, come on. Why would you do that. I’m sure there’s a pull out sofa in there. You can go to your room when she’s done.”

Leah looked at Lucy. The brunette couldn’t work out the thoughts going through her head. She opened the door with the key card. “Come on, I won’t bite. Unless you like that kind of thing.” She winked at Leah and gave her one of her flirty smiles. She couldn’t help it.

Fuck, Leah nearly lost her legs. Lucy flirting was not something she thought she’d ever be in the presence of. The wink alone made her squirm.

Leah finally laughed. She rolled her eyes and walked toward the now open door. Lucy held it open for her. Lucy was having deja vu once again tonight.

It was a nice room, it had a king size bed and wall length windows that was over looking London. Lucy’s suitcase was in the middle of the room. Lisa would have got that there for her.

Lucy walked towards the windows, she loved the city at night. She turned around to see Leah standing in the middle of the room, looking lost.

Lucy cleared her throat. “So, how was your night?” She sat on the sofa near the window. She didn’t really know what to do with herself. A couple of hours ago Lucy was dreading having to share the stage with Leah, now she was standing in front of her in her hotel room. She seemed to have shared a lot of different moments with Leah tonight.

Leah played her with fingers. “Erm, yeah, bit of a weird one. But, it was good. Yours?”

Lucy chuckled, she had a feeling Leah was referring to all of their encounter’s tonight.

“Yeah, weird is one way of putting it.”

Silence fell over them once more. Lucy didn’t really understand it. Leah was so vocal on the pitch. She had seen her in action plenty of times. Even after matches, in her interviews she was confident and wanted to talk about her thoughts on the game. But the women in front of her seemed, scared.

“Shall we see what the mini bar is offering?”

Leah let out a breath. “Please.”

“Good, something we can agree on. Do you want to sit, get comfy.” She watched the girl take off her leather jacket and sat on the opposite side of the small round table.

She found a few bottles of small spirits and plenty of mixers. Even 4 bottles of small Prosecco. Thank god.

“Okay we have, spice rum, vodka, gin and some Prosecco, what do you fancy?”

Leah was looking out the window. “Oh erm, rums good for me. Thank you.”

“I’ll join you with the rum I think.”

Lucy started making their drinks. Just as she was finishing up, music started playing in her ears. She was confused, she looked over at Leah who had a timid smile on her face.

“Sorry, I connected my phone to the speakers. Do you mind?”

Lucy carried the drinks over to the table. “Oh no, not at all. We’re having our own little party.” She sat down opposite Leah, handing her, her drink. Leah took it, her fingers touching Lucy’s quickly. She thanked her with a small voice.

“So, please tell me this is as awkward for you as it is for me.” It was probably the drink in her system that allowed Lucy to have the word vomit, like she did earlier when she asked Leah to stay the night.

Leah laughed loudly. A genuine belly laugh, Lucy once again noticing the girls beauty was, especially when she laughed or smiled. Lucy smiled, she was glad the girl was laughing and not throwing hands.

“Yeah. Don’t worry, I’m feeling it too.” Leah pushed her hair back behind her ear and took a sip of her drink.

“Look, I know we’re not the best of friends but you can chill. I’m not going to start having a got at you or anything.”

Leah’s a confident person, she’s confident in her football, she’s confident speaking her mind, she’s very confident with flirting and getting what or who she wanted. However Leah wasn’t great at public speaking but, when her agent told her who she’d be presenting with she changed her tune quickly.

For a while Leah has had a crush on the brunette, well since she kind of laid eyes on her. She wasn’t in love with the girl, she had eyes she could appreciate a good looking woman. She also respected Lucy a lot, as a person and footballer. But she never made it obvious, she kept the angry front up as it was much easier than being turned down by Lucy. For some reason Lucy made her nervous and tonight it really showed. She didn’t expect Lucy to be anything but cold towards her as that’s how it had always been. So when the girl was being kind to her back stage it threw her completely off, she couldn’t keep up the coldness towards her, she just nervous instead.

Leah took another sip of her drink, watching Lucy over the rim of her glass. It was the first time Lucy felt like the deer in head lights.

Leah cleared her throat and sat back in her seat a small smile on her face. “Yeah, sorry. I’ve been on a bit of edge today.”

Lucy nodded her head. She could understand, these kind of event days could be a lot. Press, photographers meeting so many people.

“Yeah I get it, you don’t have to explain yourself.”

“Why are you being so nice to me?”

Lucy wasn’t expecting that question.

“Not that I’m complaining, but we’ve never got on. You hate me, but you’ve been nothing but nice to me. I don’t get it.”

“Firstly, I don’t hate you Leah. Yeah we’ve never got on, but that’s because our first introduction to each other wasn’t great.”

Leah winced at that. Lucy wasn’t saying it in a harsh tone but what she was saying was true.

“I don’t know if you even remember but I never got an apology from you and it’s just kind of been tense since then. But I don’t hate you. I really respect you as a footballer and what you do for your club.”

Lucy took a long swig of her drink.

Leah’s shoulders slumped, she looked down at the floor, Lucy could see she felt bad.

“Well, I know it’s been a while since our first game but would you accept my apology now?”

Lucy smiled. “Yeah. Yeah I would.”

Leah smiled an easy smile back. “Lucy, I’m genuinely really sorry for how I acted on that first game. In all honesty I was terrified to play against you. I lost my temper that day and I was childish and stupid. I have regretted everyday since then that I didn’t apologise to you sooner.” She sat forward in her chair and put her hand on Lucy’s thigh. “I am truly sorry for how I acted that day, and every match we’ve had together since. I really am sorry.” She finished with a deep breath.

Leah took a long swig of her glass, finishing her drink.

Lucy was shocked at the sincereness of Leah, she could tell the girl meant it.

Lucy smiled her famous smile and raised her glass towards Leah.

“To new beginnings.”

The blonde smiled back, more tension looked liked it left her shoulders. She raised her glass.

“To new beginnings.”

They clinked their glasses together.

Lucy took a drink from her glass, looking at Leah over the rim of her glass. Leah looking right back at her. It became quiet again but it didn’t feel awkward. “Hang on, you need another drink.”

“I do. It’s okay I’ll make them. Same again?”

Lucy handed Leah her glass. Fingers touching once again. “Please.”

An hour later and 3 more drinks in. The room was worm. Leah’s music was still playing. It felt like an intimate party between the pair of them. The girls were a lot more comfortable now. Lucy had taken off her suit jacket. Leah had taken off her heels. They were now sitting on the small sofa together. Their knees kept knocking and touching one another but nobody moved to give the other space. Both girls belly laughing over something Lucy said.

“And that’s why I don’t eat pickles anymore.”

Leah wiped a tear from her eye, and put her hand on Lucy’s thigh. “Oh my god. I can’t believe it. That’s so funny.”

For the 100th time that night, Lucy caught herself staring at Leah. She couldn’t believe this time 12 hours ago she was dreading being near the girl, and now she was cracking jokes with her.

“God, I can’t believe I’m actually sitting in Lucy Bronze’s hotel room at 1 in the morning.”

Lucy put her hand to her own chest and faked a gasp. “Sorry? What’s so wrong with being in my hotel room?”

Leah laughed. Her hand still on Lucy’s thigh. “No, not like that. I know a lot of girls that would kill to be me right now.”

Lucy snorted. “Nope, you’ve hurt me Leah. I’ve done nothing but help you today and this is what I get.”

Leah squeezed Lucy’s thigh, laughing. “No. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else right now. I swear.”

Lucy couldn’t help herself, her flirty smile came out to play. “Oh is that so? So you do want to be in my hotel room at 1 in the morning, are you one of the girls you’re talking about?” Lucy took a sip of her drink laughing in her glass.

“Maybe.” Leah bit her lower lip, before raising her own glass to her mouth, still giggling.

The girls were tipsy at this point, but not drunk. They knew what they were saying was dangerous but not enough to get them in trouble.

Lucy wasn’t going to stop the flirting, she liked this new dynamic between them. Lucy had been checking Leah out all night, and Leah wasn’t innocent either.

“I bet McCabe isn’t even in there. I bet you put that sock there. You just wanted to be in my room.” Lucy laughed.

Leah now faked a fake gasp. “Right, I’ll go then you clearly don’t want me in your room. I’ll see if she’s done.”

Leah went to sit up but Lucy grabbed her by her waist pulling her back down. “No, don’t go.”

She fell half on Lucy’s lap, half on the sofa, face on, half straddling Lucy’s thigh.

Both girls laughter slowed down. Lucy still had her arm around Leah. She slowly looked up, face to face with the blonde. She no longer looked like a deer in headlights but more like a cat that got its milk. The air became thick. They had been playing on the fine line of flirting most of the night and now she had Leah sitting in her lap.

Leah was the first one to lean forward. Lucy kept her eyes on Leah’s blue ones, and slowly lowered her eyes on Leah’s glossed lips. Licking her own subconsciously. The only other time Lucy had been this close to Leah’s face was at a match when things got heated. Now that took a whole other meaning.

Leah looked at Lucy for any kind of sign to stop. Lucy could feel it. She gave Leah the smallest of nods. The blonde closed the gap between their mouths slowly.

Leah’s mouth tasted like vanilla and mint, Lucy instantly loved the flavour. Leah’s lips felt so much softer than Lucy could have imagined, and she had imagined them a lot tonight. She let Leah control the pace of their movements. The younger girl moved back slightly, just inches away from Lucy’s mouth. “Is this okay? Are you drunk?”

“No, I’m fine, are you? Do you want to stop?”

“No, not drunk and I definitely don’t want to stop.

Lucy nodded, and leaned in to Leah’s lips, she was already missing the feeling of them. The blonde girl shifted her body so she could straddle Lucy properly.

Lucy snaked her hands up Leah’s now bare thighs, her dressed had hitched up to her waist, giving Lucy all the access she wanted.

Leah pushed herself forward and placed her hands behind Lucy’s head, pinning her to the sofa. The brunette squeezed Leah’s thighs causing her to gasp. Lucy took the opportunity to push her tongue deep into Leah’s mouth causing the younger girl to moan.

Lucy could feel Leah smiling into the kiss. Lucy had kissed a few girls in her time but there was something about kissing Leah that made her head spin, every move she made was perfect. She felt her tongue caressing her bottom lip, sucking it into her own mouth. Lucy could feel herself getting wet.

Leah had control over their movements with the position she was in. She started to grind her hips into Lucy’s, this time Lucy was the one to gasp. Leah began to kiss down the brunette's neck, Lucy was more than willing to let Leah take her as she pleased. She slowly kissed every inch of Lucy’s neck before she moved to her throat, sucking hard on one spot. Lucy’s eyes rolled to the back of her head, pleasure taking over her.

“Fuck, Leah.”

If Leah’s tongue felt this good on her neck imagine the other places she would feel better at. When Leah was happy with the mark she left on Lucy’s tanned skin she took one long lick, gliding her wet tongue up Lucy’s neck, gliding to her ear. Lucy’s hands squeezed Leah’s thighs again, not being able to control her movements.

Leah was loving the control she had over Lucy, Seeing the older girl melt for her just over her kissing was making her ego grow ten times over. Leah gasped from Lucy’s touch once again, her strong hands close to where she needed her most. She moved her hands from the sofa into Lucy’s dark hair, pulling her head back with a gentle tug. Giving her full access to her mouth.

Lucy easily let Leah control her. The blonde took the opportunity to lick into Lucy’s mouth. Lucy loved the movements Leah was doing with her tongue. Her hips grinded up into the blonde, Leah smiled down devilishly at Lucy.

Leah was dominating the kissing, Lucy’s head was spinning. She started to rub her thumbs dangerously close to Leah’s very wet underwear. Leah released Lucy’s hair and started to grind with more purpose, though she had nothing to grind on. Lucy could tell she was becoming frustrated, she glided her right hand up to Leah’s toned thigh. She felt the fabric of Leah’s underwear, she could tell it was lace straight away. Her personal favourite.

She lowered her hand right where Leah needed her, she could feel the heated damp patch between her legs. Leah let out a moan from the first touch. Lucy studied Leah’s face, she was even more beautiful up close. Leah started to grind on Lucy’s hand, trying to get any friction that she could find.

Lucy didn’t want to waste anymore time, she wanted to feel Leah, she pulled her underwear to the side and glided her fingers through Leah’s soaking wet lips. The younger girl let out a glorious moan, her hips grinding harder. Lucy couldn’t believe how wet Leah was already, it made her head grow 5 times the size. She glided her finger up to Leah’s clit, and gently back down, wanting to explore the girl above. “Someone’s wet.” Lucy’s voice was low and cocky.

Leah whimpered, hearing Lucy talk in her like this was sinful, hearing the teasing in her tone. Feeling Lucy touching every part of her sensitive flesh was driving her mad. Leah didn’t want to lose the control over their rhythm, she wanted to be the one in charge but that was slowly slipping.

“Tell me what you want.” Lucy was kissing Leah’s neck as her fingers kept playing with her velvet lips, slowly circling her clit every few seconds.

“I want you inside, fuck me. Please.”

Lucy’s fingers were soaked with Leah’s own juices. She slid a single finger in with no resistance. Fuck she felt good.

Leah moaned low into Lucy’s ear, the brunette was loving every second of hearing the girls moan. She added a second finger. Leah was tight, she could feel her pussy walls pulling her in. She started to pump, moving with Leah’s hips. It wasn’t the best position but she would make it work. The blonde was panting hard into her neck. Lucy thought Leah was beautiful before, but seeing her like this was something completely different. She looked like a work of art, a work of art getting fucked.

“Do you know how good you look Leah?”

She kept pumping. Leah lifted her head looking down at Lucy. Her muscular arms were on show, watching her flex from each stroke made Leah’s pussy walls flex, and Lucy could feet it.

Lucy snaked her other hand up to Leah’s thigh, moving past her thongs and straight to her swollen clit, making small circle motions. Leah’s mouth gapped open, Lucy couldn't but stare at the girl above in awe.

“Oh my god Lucy, don’t stop. You feel amazing. Don’t stop.”

Lucy didn’t once take her eyes off of Leah, she was mesmerised by the sight. She took a quick bite of Leah’s neck, causing Leah to whimper. “I got you Leah, I won’t stop. You feel so good, you’re so fucking tight.”

Leah loved Lucy’s words, she could feel her own legs shaking. She could feel she was close. She leaned down and kissed Lucy hard. She wanted to feel her lips when she came.

“Kiss me Luce, don’t stop kissing me.”

Lucy didn’t complain. She kissed Leah back just like she asked, she could feel Leah getting close, she didn’t once stop her movements.

Leah was feeling the glorious coil in her stomach. Lucy’s tongue was deep in her mouth, sucking on her tongue. Leah felt like she couldn’t breathe in the best way possible, she was surrounded by Lucy. She started to make short little gasps, her climax was just on the cusp. Leah took control of the kissing and sucked in Lucy’s tongue, causing the girl to moan in her mouth. It pushed her over the ledge she’d been sitting on all day.

Leah moaned loud as she came. Her pussy flexed against Lucy’s fingers, her body shook hard. Her mouth was still attached to Lucy’s lips. Lucy watched Leah like a hawk, making sure to follow every movement to help guide her orgasm.

Leah’s eyes were closed, she leaned her four head against Lucy’s, breathing hard. When she finally opened her eyes, she was met with dark green ones staring back at her. A shy smile crept on Leah’s face. Did that really just happen?

Lucy slowly pulled out of Leah, the blonde groaned from the loss. She sat back, on Lucy’s legs.

But Leah wasn’t done there. She took Lucy’s hand that had been in-between her legs, she saw her two fingers glistening with her juices. She slowly raised Lucy’s hand to her lips, gently kissing them with her swollen kissed lips. Lucy’s breathing quickened, she knew what Leah was going to do and she could feel herself getting wet.

Leah gently licked Lucy’s wet fingers, gliding her tongue, making sure Lucy could see every inch of what her tongue could do. Lucy didn’t blink. She didn’t want to miss a second of this. Watching Leah’s long tongue glide across her skin was magical.

“Fuck…” Lucy breathed out.

Leah slowly sucked in Lucy’s fingers, she was showing off for Lucy, she wanted to be the one in control. She was loving that Lucy looked like she was about to melt on the floor. She looked down at the brunette, she looked so fucking good, her once neat her was now tussled, her white vest top had ridden up just a bit so you could see the bottom of her abs. You could see her muscular stomach through the white vest top as she breathed. Leah was in a trance looking at the brunette.

She released Lucy’s fingers with a loud pop. She slowly climbed off her thighs and stepped back. She unclipped the back of her black dress, it fell to the floor around her feet.

Lucy’s mouth gapped open.

The brunette had seen glimpses of Leah’s stomach when on the pitch. She knew she had a stunning body but she’s always wondered what the rest of her looked like. The thing is Lucy had a little secret. She had crushed on Leah for a little while. It was a weird feeling to crush on your ‘enemy’ she brought out the best and worst parts of Lucy on the pitch, and it had caused Lucy to want to know the girl more. In many different ways. But to have Leah Williamson standing in front of you, in nothing but a pair of laced black thongs and a a see through bra to match, was breathtaking.

Leah sunk to her knees, in-between Lucy’s spread legs. She reached for Lucy’s trousers unbuttoning them, bitting her bottom lip. She tugged at Lucy’s trousers, trying to make a point that she needed them off. Lucy’s brain finally caught up. She stood up to remove her bottoms but Leah got there first. She slowly dragged her suit trousers down to her ankles, her girl boxers following right behind.

Lucy was wet.

Leah was proud.

She had Lucy Bronze, a woman that so many players looked up to. So many players were intimidated by, standing in front of her, soaking wet for her. Her chest swelled. She gently started kissing Lucy’s thighs, she could hear Lucy breathing above her. She guided Lucy to sit back on the sofa, she got herself comfortable in-between Lucy’s legs.

Lucy couldn’t believe the sight in front of her. Leah Williamson, on her knees for her. She was about to burst, she could feel her stomach tensing from anticipation. She had definitely imagined Leah like this a few times.

Leah kissed Lucy’s thighs some more, wanting to tease her just a little bit. She looked up to see Lucy looking flustered. Just what she wanted. Though, she was just as excited as Lucy for this moment, she didn’t want to wait anymore. Leah stroked her tongue right up to the crease at Lucy’s thigh. Lucy’s body jumped at the touch.

Leah leaned forward to Lucy’s lips, she could see her lips were coated in her juices. Leah’s own mouth watered.

Lucy could feel Leah breathing on her. The younger girl took a long, slow lick into Lucy’s cunt. She moaned at the taste. Her new favourite flavour. Lucys head fell back on the sofa. She was painfully turned on, her pussy was throbbing.

Lucy was more wet than Leah realised. Her tongue was met with her honey like juices. She swallowed the mouthful that gathered on her tongue. She couldn’t get over how good she tasted.

Leah lapped her up, wanting to feel every bit of Lucy on her tongue. The brunette was in heaven, it felt like Leah was on every inch of her. Caressing every spot.

Leah leaned back on her heels, Lucy’s juices still attached to her mouth, creating wet string between both Leah’s lips and Lucy’s lower lips. The blonde stuck out her tongue, greedily tasting Lucy’s juices, breaking the wet string attached to her wet mouth.

“You taste so good Luce. I could eat you out all night.”

Lucy could have came from the site alone, she hoped the image would burn in her brain.

Lucy let out a low chuckle, she brought her hands up to the blondes hair, she gently pushed some of her hair behind her ear. Leah couldn’t believe how delicate Lucy was being towards her, even in this position.

“I would gladly have you in-between my legs all night. Leah, you don’t know how good you like right now. On your knees for me. Do you know how beautiful you are?” Lucy’s voice was low and full of lust, but also sounded so loving.

Leah smiled at Lucy. She felt more bare than when she stripped. She kept her eyes on Lucy’s as she went back to her pussy. She traced her tongue into Lucy’s folds, she could feel the brunette getting wetter. Lucy slowly laced her hands into Leah’s hair. Leah moaned at the contact, she wanted to please Lucy so badly. She captured Lucy’s swollen clit into her mouth sucking it gently.

Lucy hissed in pleasure from the action. She wasn’t going to last long but she was shocked that she even got to this far. Her hips started to grind into Leah’s mouth, she gripped tighter onto Leah’s hair.

Leah was more than willing to let Lucy take control to reach her climax. Lucy’s breathing become rough, her hips kept grinding into Leah’s mouth. Her legs began to shake.

“Leah, ….Leah, I’m so close. Don’t stop. Your tongue feels so, so good!” Lucy nearly shouted the last words. She pushed Leah’s face deeper into her pussy, needing her exactly where she wanted her. Leah wasn’t going to stop, she would go all night if she could, well if Lucy would let her. She sucked and licked Lucy’s clit, loving every sound she pulled from the brunette.

“Fuuuck, I’m coming. Don’t stop!”

She came hard onto Leah’s tongue. Her head fell back against the sofa. Eyes closed. Leah continued her movements, she could feel Lucy’s juices flowing into her mouth. She never stopped.

She was still grinding into Leah’s mouth, ridding out her orgasm as much as she could. She could feel Leah’s tongue all over her cunt. She loved how good Leah was making her feel. She stopped her movements and slowly took her hands out of Leah’s hair she looked down at the girl in-between her legs. She had Lucy’s juices dripping down her chin. Her hair was disheveled. She looked beautiful.

Lucy leaned forward, cupping Leah’s chin. She couldn’t help but smile at her.

“That was amazing. You are amazing. Fuck.”

Leah felt herself blush. Lucy’s words did something to her.

“Thank you, you’re not too bad yourself.”

Lucy chuckled. She brought her hand from Leah’s chin into her hair and guided her to her mouth. She kissed Leah deeply, her tongue roaming hers. The kiss made Leah’s pussy throb.

“I’m gonna shower, do you wanna join me?”

Lucy voice was low.

“Yeah. That would be nice. Oh but I haven’t got any clothes to change into.”

Lucy gave Leah a lustful smile. “You won’t need any.”

Leah was definitely dripping now. She got up quickly and dragged Lucy towards the bathroom stripping off her remaining clothes as she did.

[uzumaki-rebellion]

Spinning the Block (Prologue)

Pairing: Terry Richmond x Officer Jessica "Jess" Sims

Summary: Terry relives his final moments in Shelby Springs.

"I got no time for compromise

Don't bother me

You're all the same, just a bunch of lies

O can't you see?"

Bad Brains—"Don't Bother Me"

Adrenaline rushing through Terry's body didn't help the bloody shotgun wound in his side from clotting up.

He drove as fast as he could on a blown tire with a wounded officer bleeding out from his femoral artery right next to him. Officer Marston's lips turned blue, and his pale skin looked clammy and cold. Behind Terry's seat, drugged out of her mind, Summer McBride cowered and whimpered. All three knew that an abrupt ending to their lives loomed on the horizon.

He crossed over the grassy highway divider, trying to keep control of the car as the blown tire hindered their progress getting to the hospital. It kept pulling to the left, and he fought with the steering wheel. The flopping sound of the tire remains striking the road and the loud thunk of the rim grinding on pavement reverberated in his teeth. He felt every vibration, bounce, and grind, but he willed the vehicle to hold on a few miles more.

He glanced at the passenger seat. Marston clung to life, riding on the fuel of fear and imminent death. The officer twisted the channel on the police radio. More trouble raced in their direction. Two police vehicles screeched behind him and stayed on his ass.

Chief Burnne's black unmarked police truck blew past him, slowing down Terry's momentum. This was it. He glanced at Summer in the rearview, and her forlorn expression had gone past giving up hope. The thought of losing her daughter shined in tear-streaked eyes.

A familiar Crown Vic zoomed along his left flank. His intense jade eyes locked on Officer Jessica Sims' hardened gaze. They stared at one another for only five seconds, but each second stretched into every minute he interacted with her from the beginning.

At the start of his horrific journey in Shelby Springs, he originally thought Officer Sims was the only bright light of hope to clear up the transgressions against him. Most of his family believed in ACAB all day, but he was a former marine vet who tried to have some understanding of why his own people tried to work within the system. Hell, he once trained marines to uphold American values and protect American citizens. He approached Officer Sims with that energy, a kindred spirit trying to do right by fellow citizens as a Black American.

She played everything by the book from jump, and the way her eyes looked at him with compassion made him think she would do the right thing by him.

Fool him once.

Dassit.

Still, she followed the rules like he did with his former work, believing in a righteous chain of command. Unfortunately, she seemed clueless to what her department had been doing for a few years with all the civil forfeitures. Or maybe she was in on it. Perhaps turned a blind eye to keep her job and not get bullied by all the men on her squad. No matter, in the end, she chose a side.

The wrong one.

His eyes narrowed, and he glared at her with the disappointment of a thousand Black ancestors witnessing yet another betrayal by one of their own. In another time or place, he might've asked her out for drinks and dancing at a zydeco bar he frequented. She was the type of woman he liked, big-boned and plush all over. Not easily pushed around. Built for a large man like him. Yeah buddy, if none of this small town racist bullshit had popped off, Terry would've scooped that pretty woman up and sweet-talked her into letting him drop the hammer on that ass. Alas…

Officer Sims turned her gaze forward. He braced for impact because he knew she was going to jack them up and get them killed. Sometimes Black people were their own oppressors when they believed in the American lie. Justice didn't come to his people, and that Black woman didn't care.

Wayment.

Sims gunned the cruiser ahead of him. The police radio crackled with the voices of the cops behind him.

"Looks like she overshot…we got a ticking clock here… give it another go or I'll do it myself here…" a cop droned with a nasal drawl.

Sims clipped the left side of Chief Burnne's vehicle and he veered off to the left. Her cruiser flew off the road, barely missing a tree.

"Great shot… we're 10-59," the cop behind them said.

"What's a 10-59?" Terry asked.

Marston mustered what energy he had left and said, "That's an escort."

One of the cop cars behind him gassed it to the front of Terry. Protection.

Summer wept behind him and Marston passed out. Terry kept driving and praying it wasn't another trick. He had no patience for fuckery anymore. De-escalation had been his saving grace, but his remaining nerves were frayed and poised to explode. The weight of Mike's death hovered over his spirit.

He drove close to the hospital emergency room doors and leaped out of the police cruiser. The back left tire caught fire from the road friction. He ignored it. Summer opened the back passenger door. He lifted and carried her past the swooshing doors. Placing her on a gurney, he snatched up a fire axe he found inside the hospital and dashed back outside. He hurried to the police cruiser and popped the trunk from the driver's side. Glancing at the setup, he struck the dashcam recorder twice and yanked it out. Rushing back inside the hospital, his mind whirred with all the thoughts of what to do next. He would hold on to that dashcam until he had a lawyer present. All the truth rested within it. If he had to shed blood to keep it away from the Shelby Springs police department goons, he would go fucking Rambo on their asses.

The comedown hit him like a sledgehammer. Tears. Shouts of release. Everything he held inside to keep from snapping poured out. He watched more police arrive. Authorities from a different department bumrushed the hospital emergency entrance.

Chief Burrne's, handcuffed and bleeding through a bandage on his forehead, passed him by with Officer Sims escorting him to treatment. Terry clutched the dashcam to his chest, waiting for his representation to arrive. Several cops observed him from a distance.

He glanced up and Sims latched onto his gaze. Her soft brown eyes seemed full of regret and sympathy for his situation. She may have double-crossed him that one time, but the woman looking at him now simmered with self-doubt at her part in the entire fiasco. In the end, she did the right thing, saving their lives.

"Terry Richmond?"

An older white man in a crisply pressed gray suit approached him with another county deputy.

"I'm Lloyd Webber, your attorney. I've worked with Officer Marston."

Terry nodded, stood, and followed the man outside.

He glanced back at Officer Sims. Other cops surrounded her and asked questions. Terry wanted to wish her well with whatever happened next, but he had to focus on the dashcam evidence and get justice for his cousin, himself, and all those other people unjustly harassed and abused by the Shelby Springs Police Department.

One day, he would spin the block and see Jess again.

He needed answers and closure with her.

Part 1 HERE.

Masterlist

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[mysunshinetemptress]

Coal

Leah Williamson x singer!reader

Warnings: TW suicide, past abuse, child abuse, alcohol abuse, funeral. If I missed anything let me know. Also thank you to @pers1st for first of all listening to my idea and telling me to write it when I had my doubts about it and secondly for reading over it and helping me, I hope it doesn’t disappoint

You knew the minute he didn’t answer the phone and the unnerving feeling of dread filled your chest that this was it, that you were the last man standing from a life you thought you had both out run, out lived but this, what your brother had just done showed that no matter where you went, how fast you ran you couldn’t leave the sick and twisted past you both had lived through it was a heavy bag you would be forced to carry for the rest of your life.

You and your brother Luca had been born twins in a quite little, middle of nowhere town in New England to a mother who would end up leaving you both in the middle of the night with a heavily abusive father, who would never be charged for the unthinkable things he had inflicted on both you and your brother as he was to high in the police force in your stupid little town, best friends with the Chief had some perks it seemed.

You and your brother had grown up constantly relying on one another to get through the hard terrifying nights, where all you both could wish for was for someone to whisk you both away from it all but this is the real world and the only people who could save you from the nightmare was yourselves.

You had a talent that you had only discovered when you where 13 after a teacher had approached you hearing you singing in the hall, before asking if you wanted to join the choir, you began thinking an extra hour away from home wouldn’t be so bad agreeing only on the lines that Luca could come and sit in the pews as you practiced not wanting to leave him alone to face your fathers abuse alone.

As you both got older you found ways to escape through singing and music, Luca taught himself the piano and you learned guitar before teaching the instruments to each other before you both began recording videos of yourselves and posting them to YouTube while also beginning to write your own songs.

It would take till just after your 19th birthday for both you and Luca to make it out of that stupid little town in New England, both of you deciding to get as far away as possible flying to London England just as your first ever song written by you and produced by Luca blew up “Homesick.” Loving the way stories could so easily be told through country music you decide that it would be the genre you both would focus on, you writing and performing and Luca writing and producing stating he was much to bad of a singer to ever try.

Living in London was a cultural shock for you both coming from a quite town to a big bustling city sure was a change but you couldn’t help but enjoy the fact that not everyone here knew everyone and that you both got to start fresh.

Your label had rented a small two bed apartment for you both in Islington, just north of Central London where you both set up a small studio from the equipment supplied to you both and began working on an EP.

The EP was called Horizons both you and Luca had looked out on a same horizon every morning your entire childhood and hoped it would bring about change, only when you left to London did your Horizons change and so did your life finding it fitting you brought it to your label along with six songs on the EP one of which had already been released as a single.

Horizon

Track 1: Homesick

Track 2: Northern Attitude

Track 3: False Confidence

Track 4: Heavy Eyes

Track 5: Heading South

Track 6: Something in the Orange

Your label loved it approving a date that saw you and Luca able to preform at Country to Country in the O2, with your small set and unknown names your both were one of the first to perform, but feeling the rush of the crowd just after leaving the stage singing songs you both had written about parts of your childhood and leaving it behind felt magical and the crowd seemed to love it.

But that night wasn’t just the night you had both agreed that this is what you wanted to do, it was also the night you swore you found a four leaf clover. Leah had been standing in the crowd with Lydia Williams both big country music fans when she felt her breath hitch in her throat at the sight of you. You stood on stage in a simple pair of black jeans, white top with some red writing she couldn’t make out and a guitar smiling at the boy at the piano before nodding to the band and when you began singing Leah swore she had felt her heart stop from how quick it was beating.

You and Luca had made your way down to the crowd Luca nudging you saying he was going to get a drink as you nodded making your way to stand at the back keeping an eye on him as a blonde girl strutted over to you ever so confidently “Hi.” You turned taking your eyes off of Luca as you turned meeting deep blue eyes “Hi.” You smiled back “I’m Leah.” You grasped her hand shaking it your cheeks beginning to hurt from smiling at the blonde-Leah “hi I’m Y/n.” You didn’t notice that Leah seemed to forget to let go of your hand as you both began talking the English girl complementing your set as you complemented her outfit.

Luca turned back from the bar after downing yet another shot and beer looking to see where you had gone chuckling at the sight of you talking happily to a girl still holding her hand, sighing he grabbed three more beers and began walking over to you before clearing his throat and putting on a stern face “Y/n.” You unhappily tore your eyes away from Leah turning to see Luca “Luca this is Leah, Leah this is my twin brother Luca.” Leah’s shoulders seemed to relax at the confirmation he was in fact your brother and not your boyfriend “Beer.” You smiled thanking him before letting go of Leah’s hand and taking it before turning to look at him in surprise as he handed one to Leah “what can’t let your future girlfriend be left out of it can I.” You shoved him slightly as Leah choked on the beer coughing slightly as you apologised rubbing her back. Leah stood up shaking her head “well I better ask you out first then.” You laughed nodding agreeing to give her your phone number before saying goodnight and walking back behind the stage.

In the coming months yourself and Luca travelled promoting your EP both in the Uk and Europe as well as in the States refusing to step foot in New England just incase your father decided to show up, during this small tour you and Leah began talking nonstop either texting or FaceTiming and although Luca wanted to throw a pen at your head and tell you that there was an album that had to be written he couldn’t help but smile at the way your eyes lit up and your entire mood changed when the English girls name appeared on your phone.

Once the small tour was over and you had settled back into London, Leah had worked up enough nerve to officially ask you on a date. You had bid Luca goodnight telling him to not wait up as you ventured into Central London with the blue eyed girl excitement building for your date.

London was everything you ever wanted, you and Leah had been dating for a few months now and not wanting to keep secrets you had sat her down and told her everything, everything about how your mother had decided she couldn’t take it anymore and left both you and Luca stood crying on the porch step as you watched her run down the driveway aged four in the middle of the night, how your fathers abuse only got worse from that point, how as you got older you both felt so hopeless as no one would do anything as he was a police officer and best friend to the Chief of police, how he thought he could change you from being gay when he saw you walking holding another girls hand. Leah had sat eyes pooled with tears grasping your hand so tightly as you told her eyes racking your body and zoning in on every little scare she could see before pulling you into a hug “I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry Angel you don’t…you didn’t deserve any of that.” You didn’t cry but simply went limp against her as you felt the weight be lifted off your shoulders now that she knew, Luca had come in a short while later and Leah had moved you off her gently before grabbing him and pulling him into a hug, you watched eyes soft as your heart swelled they way she held him just as tight apologising for his trauma too, trauma she had never inflicted but felt so sick that no one in your town would help you both to scared of the consequences.

You had called Leah your four leafed clover, she was the luckiest thing you had ever found and while your relationship grew and your introduction to both her family and teammates saw that Luca turned to alcohol more than he ever had before.

You were both working on your first album when you had noticed how bad Lucas dependency on alcohol had gotten, writing songs often turned into nights you had to put him to bed he was to drunk to continue, or he wouldn’t show for meetings with the label, or dinner with you and Leah, or Leah’s family to busy sitting in a bar in London. You had called the label after a particularly bad day at one of Leah’s games at the Emirates, where your brother spent the entire match inside at the bar since he couldn’t drink alcohol in view of the pitch, drunk and moody you bid the Williamson’s goodbye apologising for your brother and sending Leah a quick text before dragging him home. The next morning you decided enough was enough and sat him down surprised when he broke down in your arms apologising over and over again that it was the only way he could find peace from it all even for just a few hours, that music simply wasn’t enough at the moment and in a way you understood, Leah gave you the same peace alcohol gave Luca but you knew it wasn’t a healthy option so you gave him an ultimatum, rehab and therapy or no more music, no more writing no more tours nothing. Agreeing to your ultimatum you rang your label telling them that the Album was on hold till Luca was healthy again before dropping him off.

You spent the month Luca was in rehab leaning on Leah and her family’s support, you had told them about yours and Lucas past the same day you dropped him off, and for the first time you knew what it was like to be loved by a mother and father. You cried into Leah’s chest that night until you fell asleep,nothing she said or did could make you stop and she quickly realised you needed this you needed to cry so she let you holding you tight and just reminding you of where you were, with her, with her family both you and Luca were safe. Amanda came up after you had fallen asleep to check on you her own heart breaking at the sight of you, you a girl who had the worst childhood imaginable handed to her and still found away to find love and make her daughter feel so loved, you a girl who was trying desperately to hold everything together for her brother because “he needs me, I’m fine I’ve got Leah but he, Luca needs me to be strong so strong is what I am.” Amanda placed her hand on your head “she’ll be ok Bubs, they both will, we got them.”

Luca had been allowed a visit half way through his rehab, the Williamson’s had all asked if they could come but his sponsor Danny had said it may be to overwhelming and asked for it to just be you, that didn’t stop them from waiting in the car park as you went in to visit him. He was different, brighter, happier and you almost cried at the sight for the first time ever he looked to be enjoying life not just trying to get by. You had ran straight for him sighing as you picked you up into a bear hug squeezing tight “Orlov.” You sighed relaxing into his arms at the use of your nickname.

Orlov a diamond, a cursed diamond and any time you tried to ask him why he had chosen it for you all those years ago he gave you one of two reason “Orlov, a cursed diamond that still shines through it all.” Or “Orlov, because pressure makes diamonds, and I just like the name of that one.” You laughed at the second slightly poetic but still funny just like him.

You had told him how supportive the Williamson’s had been for the both of you, how they were currently sat in the parking lot waiting for an update on him when he grabbed your hand “I’m glad you found people like them, to look after you.” You squeezed his hand “us, look after us they love you just as much.” Lucas didn’t want to believe you but you knew he did deep down, he knew it wasn’t just you that loved him anymore. You proceeded to tell him about you current life as a wag as well about the many songs you had been writing, some of them about your past, but for the first time ever you had also written about love and being in love with Leah. Lucas had told you he had also returned to writing and had a few stacked up ready to go when he was finished and for the first time he seemed happy about what he had written normally you had to tell him it was good, recording worthy and you couldn’t help the hope that bubbled.

15 days later Lucas got out of rehab with his therapy sessions block booked for the next while and for the first time in two months you guys began writing songs together trying to complete the album. Lucas was a changed man, he went to dinner without alcohol something you also did to support him, he attended Leah’s matches with you and actually watched and cheered instead of hiding in the bar and for the first time he seemed to be living.

Leah and her family had supported you both tirelessly and you couldn’t have asked for more, they were the family you had always wished would come and save you both as kids. Leah was around for nearly all of the album creation, Lucas teaching her piano and when he finally deemed her good enough you both agreed she could record it for the album.

Life was good, you both were happy in London writing and hanging out with friends and your found family so why had you woken up in the middle of the night with a feeling of doom looming over you as you untangled from Leah. You had gone into Lucases room to check on him something you had done since you could walk, wanting to make sure his chest would still rise and fall when your father had given you both a particularly hard beating. Only this time his bed was empty, walking into the hall you noticed all the lights were off so where could he be. You decided not to panic and not to wake Leah either instead getting your phone to call him.

You knew the minute he didn’t answer the phone and the unnerving feeling of dread filled your chest that this was it, that you were the last man standing from a life you thought you had both out run, out lived but this, what your brother had just done showed that no matter where you went, how fast you ran you couldn’t leave the sick and twisted past you both had lived through it was a heavy bag you would be forced to carry for the rest of your life.

As you recounted every move you both had made over the past three months it was obvious, Lucas had been getting all his ducks in a row, checking in on everyone and making sure the album was complete before leaving, but now it was done and set to be released next month he felt it was time.

You felt numb as you sat at the bottom of the stairs, you didn’t know how you knew he was gone, but you had all of a sudden just had the feeling of a missing piece, maybe it was your twin telepathy you both had so wished to have growing up, this was a sick joke if it kicked in now, now when he was gone.

You sat at the bottom of the stairs until you felt Leah’s hand touch your shoulder “Orlov.” Your heart clenched at the nickname, Lucas had given Leah special permission to use it, certain that she wasn’t going anywhere that you had her forever the engagement ring hidden in his dresser, not that you knew, certain that she knew about what you had been through, that she understood the meaning behind your nickname.

You didn’t have time to react as a knock came from your front door, looking at Leah smiling sadly you got up from the stairs and opened the door to two police men “Miss Y/n Y/ln.” You nodded, you didn’t feel Leah come up behind you as you listen to the police officers tell you about your brother, that you needed to identify him before they moved forward. You nodded along to it all before you asked “was he…do you think he was in any pain.” The officer looked at you softly “Hypothermia kicked in before he drowned, he simply closed his eyes and was gone, no pain, no struggle.” You nodded “no pressure.” You mumbled before turning to get dressed.

Leah couldn’t believe it, he was gone, Lucas was gone a boy she loved like a brother and she couldn’t understand why, he was happy, you both were happy with them, writing the album why, why had he done it. She had gone with you to the morgue and had said she would call her mum but every time she tried her fingers froze on the call button and words got caught in her throat. It was you who had done it driving you both to the Williamson’s house Leah unable to look at her family as you asked them all to come to the living room Leah sat beside you head buried into your neck as she grasped you tightly scared that if she let you go you would be gone too.

Amanda had let out a sob as you finished, Jacob got up and left the room and David just stared at you in shock as you held Leah impossibly closer watching this family, your family, Lucases family fall apart at the news, helpless you did what you had done since childhood and decided now was the time for you to stay strong, you could cry later and so you helped with dinner, helped tell the rest of the family, cousins, aunts and uncles and Leah’s grandparents who had adopted you both. The Arsenal girls had been informed all of whom made their way to your house along with the Williamson’s with flowers and food enough to stock the fridge for the next two months offering support and tears for you and your brother

In the coming weeks the Williamson’s helped you plan the funeral, you didn’t know how one went let alone one in England and you often found yourself and David talking to the undertakers for hours organising it. Until finally the day came, everyone had stayed in your house the night before and Amanda had started a big fry before you all headed to the church but you couldn’t eat, you were saying good bye to your brother, your other half, you were about to walk this stupid life alone and for the first time you cursed at him, you both had made it this far why, why did he decide he couldn’t take it anymore.

Leah had held your hand the entire way both of you following the coffin, with Amanda as Jacob, and David along with Leah’s cousins and Danny his sponsor carried him into the church. You got up and said a few words, talking briefly about your childhood before thanking the Williamson’s for everything they had done for you both, thanking Leah for being both you and Lucases rock when you felt like the world was to much. Heading to the crematorium you decided to swap out with one of Leah’s cousins wanting to carry your brother one last time, the sight made Leah sob as Amanda tried to hold her whispering into her ear, but nothing came of it you were saying goodbye to everything you ever knew and all she could do was hold your hand.

After it was all said and done and the after in the pub had finished you found yourself standing in the centre of his bedroom Leah lying asleep in yours. You looked at everything he had, all the pictures his rehab tokens, his guitar and piano, how were you supposed to do this without him, sing without him there beside you, live without him there beside you. You fell back onto his bed reaching your hand under his pillow when it made a crunch noise before finding a letter with your name on it “ORLOV”. You sighed knowing what it was you pulled it open.

Orlov,

I’m gone, I have left you on this earth alone and for that I am truly sorry, I’m sorry that I couldn’t fight any longer but I hope you understand how tired I am. Tired of living this lonely unforgiving life and I hope that someday you will understand, you have have been, my rock, my best friend and my twin sister through the hardest life no child should have to live, But you have come through it stronger, you have come through the it all a diamond in the rough. You see you are a diamond, formed under the pressure of our childhood but me, I am coal a dark rock not meant to last long on this earth.

I hope you know I have decided that now is the right time to say goodbye as I know you are going to be ok, you have the Williamson’s, the Arsenal and most importantly Leah. She is it for you, she is the only person you will ever need, she is your alcohol (bad comparison I know, she’s a lot healthier.) you are ready, ready to take on this life and conquer the world, but remember it’s ok to slip as long as you don’t fall.

One question you always asked me growing up was what did I think heaven looked like and I always told you I don’t know, but I do heaven is watching you fall in love with that girl sleeping in your room, watching you find a family who loves you the way you deserve that is heaven I love you always and forever.

I’ll be watching from stars Orlov .

Lucas TB

For the first time in weeks you cried, no you sobbed gut wrenching sobs and Leah found herself sprinting from your bed room catching you as you fell from the bed holding you tight whispering reassuring words into your ear crying along with you as you cried and cried, cried for your younger self, you cried for your current self but mostly your cried for him, for Lucas until you cried your self to sleep. Leah carried you back to bed before coming back into Lucases room and picking up his letter turning it over and finding a second one attached to it, opening it she found lyrics to a song and reading over it she felt her heart clench at the meanings behind them all.

The next morning Leah showed you the lyrics and before she even had time to ask if you wanted a coffee you were on the phone with your label canceling the album instead stating you had a different one.

Leah watched you tirelessly in the studio scared that if she left you alone in there you might never come back out, regretting her decision when you had dragged her in to record a piano piece.

A month later you handed your label a brand new album written mostly about you and Lucas with track six being for Leah, the label loved it and pushed for it to be released sooner than expected.

ORLOV

Track 1 Stick Season

Track 2 Bitter Winds

Track 3 Condemned

Track 4 Revival

Track 5 I Remember Everything (Lucas Y/LN, feat Y/n Y/LN)

Track 6 Sun to Me

Track 7 Dawns (Lucas Y/LN, feat Y/n Y/LN)

Track 8 Tourniquet (feat Leah Williamson.)

Track 9 Orange Juice

Track 10 Coal

With Leah's unwavering support, you found the strength to honor Lucases memory during the small tour you quickly been sent on leaving the grand piano seat empty until Leah came on to play her part in Tourniquet. You decided to end the small tour in London, your first headline show sold out at the roundhouse already playing five previous dates here due to the demand. Knowing this would be the last time of playing a small venue and with that a chapter closing and you having to enter one without Lucas you sighed retuning the guitar as you spoke to the crowd “My twin brother Lucas wrote this last song I’m about to play.” You cleared your throat looking out into the crowd before turning to the empty piano seat “We had a very hard childhood, but I knew as long as I had him, I’d be ok. Lucas left me on this earth alone just a couple months ago, but he knew something I didn’t, he knew I wasn’t really going to be alone, that I had a family that loved me, a girl who loved me even more and that really he wasn’t leaving he was just tired of his adventures on earth and wanted to see what the stars were like.” You sighed turning back to the crowd “this next song is called coal, and it talks about the pressures of life and I just want you all to know that when you feel like life is to full of pressure that when you can’t seem to find the light at the end of the tunnel that maybe look down you might find your four leaved clover, I got mine she’s in the crowd tonight, but there is always someone nobody here is alone.” You smiled catching Leah’s eyes “this is Coal.”

[thebestofoneshots]

Gilded Constellations | (wolfstar x reader)

Series Masterlist | Previous episode

Pairing: Wolfstar x Reader Word Count: 6.2K Warnings: Use of the word fag in a derogatory way. The person that does it gets told off for it. Prompt: After the day you've had, you could really use a drink, if Rem let's you go through with it, at least. This IS a Wolfstar x reader fic, but it's incredibly slow burn. They won't start all dating each other until we're very deep into the story, but I promise the long wait will be worth it. Proofread by lovely: @aremuslupinsimp

Chapter 31: Strange Magic

You walked all the way to the common room as fast as you could, you were hoping your little talk with Reggie hadn’t been so long that it would have Lily and Remus worrying about you. Once you arrived, the lady in the portrait gave you a bit of a scowl. 

“It was you, wasn’t it?” 

You were taken aback. “Me? Whatever did I do?” 

She arched an eyebrow at you, looking rather displeased, “You gave the password to that pretty Slytherin girl and her younger friend.” 

“No,” you said with a head shake. “I’m not friends with the Slytheri–” 

“Hey, Star Seeker!” You heard Minho’s voice from behind. “You gonna let me in or what?” 

You winced at that, the fact that Minho had his quidditch sweater on only aggravating the situation further, the lady gave you a look and you shrugged. “I don’t ascribe to the whole house rivalry we’ve got going on.” 

“That’s right!” Minho said as he wrapped his arm around you and pulled you closer to him. “We’re transcendent mates.” 

“What?” You asked, turning to him with a frown. “Transcendent mates!?” 

“You’re telling me «chowol chingu» doesn’t have a literal translation that makes sense in English?” You shook your head, you might have studied many languages, but you had no idea what chowol chingu meant. “Like, umm…” Minho seemed to struggle to find the right words, trying to think of a time when he heard someone say something similar,  “Best chums?” 

“You almost blew my head off in the game today!” 

“Not my fault you were on the other team,” he said with a shrug. “Besides, I wasn’t nearly as bad as Barty.” 

You laughed. “Best chums then, all right,” you said as you shook your head. “Will you let us in?” you said, turning to the lady in the portrait with the same charming smile you used to convince Remus of silly things. 

She pursed her lips, rolled her eyes and took a deep breath before leaning her head down, “Password?” 

You smiled, “Boneless phoenix wings.” 

The portrait opened up like a door and allowed both you and Minho to get in. “It’s so much less hassle to get into my common room,” he said with a sigh. 

You hummed, “Yeah, your brick wall is nice, a lot less talkative, but the Lady on the portrait is a taste you acquire.” 

“How do you know about the brick wall?” He asked, a little confused. “Wait, it was you!” 

“No it wasn’t,” you said with a frown and looked around the room, Tom wasn’t too far. 

“It had to be you, and it makes so much sense omg, you little–” 

“Tom!” you called, the boy turned to you, and you shoved him onto Minho’s face, Minho was terrible at keeping secrets, and you weren’t about to spill the beans about the prank onto him, “Minho was looking for you, go ahead and talk,” You said with a smile before you scurried away. You noticed the blush on Minho’s neck as he threw you a desperate look and you just shrugged and shot him a wink. 

You slipped towards your room, Lily had found some nice clothes for you on the bed, and you smiled and changed into them. It was a pair of snug corduroy pants and a thick sweater. It was stylish and yet simple. You cleaned up and changed into the clothes, walking downstairs trying not to cause too much attention, skidding past some with your head low until you reached the spot where Remus stood. Near the fireplace, with a cup in one hand and a plate in the other, he was wearing a quidditch sweater that fit him snuggly, perhaps a little tight. 

“That’s not yours,” you said when you approached. 

“Sirius gave it to me, said it fit the spirit. Left it with a note on my bed and everything.”  He did not mention what Sirius had written in the note, “Wear it if we win, give it to Vix and cheer her up if we don’t”.

“Romantic,” you joked, Remus rolled his eyes, trying to avoid your gaze. “Suits you well.” 

“Must be for my dashing good looks.” 

“Oh… and it came along with Sirius’ personality.” He chuckled at your joke and finally turned to look at you again, almost allowing himself to get lost in your eyes. “You saved that for me, yeah?”

“In my pockets,” he said, hands still very occupied with food and drink. 

“Which one?”

“Back, left,” he said automatically, not realising you would reach down and grab it “Oi! That’s the right,” he complained as you dug your hand in his pocket, brushing his arse and making him panic slightly. 

“Sorry,” you mumbled and went for the other pocket “Should’ve specified which left.”

“There’s only one left!” he said in disbelief as you pulled the little flask out. 

You shrugged “Never been good at knowing which is which.” 

“Or… you just wanted an excuse to touch my arse.” 

“Oh no!” you said ironically, “You’ve discovered my evil scheme. All I wanted was to get a good feel of those round butt cheeks.” Remus almost choked on his drink from the laugh that got caught in his throat, you smiled and extended the small flask towards him. “Cheers mate,” you said before taking it to your mouth and drinking a few big gulps.

Remus left the plate on the mantle and pulled the flask off your mouth, “Hold up, slow down little witch!” The Firewhiskey was rather strong, he was sure you’d be tipsy in no time.

You looked at him reproachfully, your lips were wet and looked incredibly juicy before you gave them a lick and collected the remnants of alcohol from them, he forced himself to look at your eyes instead “Rem!” you reproached. 

“Uh-uh,” he shook his head as he raised the bottle above his head. “You tell me what this is all about and then I give it back to you.” 

“I just need a drink.” 

“Because of the fall? The monster in the swamp? Whatever you’ve got going on with Nightshade?”

Fucking perceptive werewolf best friend “No.” you said with a loose shake of the head, he realized you were being honest. 

You sighed and reclined against the side of the chimney, staring at him through your lashes with an expression akin to a reprimanded puppy. “Can I please…?” He shook his head and raised an eyebrow expectantly. “I had a talk with Regulus.” 

Remus’ eyes narrowed on you, lowering the flask as he looked at you in shock. “If he said something to you that–” The werewolf seemed about ready to throw punches, even if he didn’t think too bad of Reg in the first place, he also saw in him all the things of Sirius you did. 

But you shook your head, and he could see the contrition in your eyes, “He didn’t rat us out.” 

Remus tilted his head to the side, just a little, prompting you to continue. You let out another deep breath and looked to the side “So then how did…?” 

“He said they got an owl,” you explained, “Must have been the creepy wizard from ‘El Maleficio', I get chills from the memory.” 

“That’s the muggle but then not actually muggle magic shop, correct?” 

“Where we bought the animagus recipe and this,” you said as you pulled out the necklace Sirius had given you.

“He still has the mark from it.” 

“The mark?” you asked with a frown.

“I’ll tell you about it later.” Remus wasn’t sure if telling you about the bIood magic linked to it was a good idea, “So the man sent a note.” 

You shut your eyes at that, and your frown deepened. “They asked Regulus, he lied and then they– they gave him veritaserum.” 

“Oh.”

“And then there was the letter–” 

“The one you burned down.” 

You nodded, “I hadn’t gotten a reply to any of the letters I sent to Sirius and I was angry and sad and–” you sighed, “he said the letter explained it all.  Poor Regulus thought I was mad at him even if I knew– And I’ve been treating him like dog shit…” You let your head fall back with a groan. It crashed onto the wall, a little loud for Remus’ enhanced hearing and he worried. 

“It was a situational thing.” 

“I could’ve been more rational,” you said as you opened your eyes again, a reproachful tone directed straight at yourself. “Attempt to be a decent person–” 

“You’re already one of the nicest people I know,” he said “Stupid selfless if you ask me.” 

You threw him a look, a half-smile on your lips “I’m not selfless.” 

“Says the girl that was ready to be eaten…” 

“I wasn’t ready to be eaten! I was thinking of a different approach!” He raised an eyebrow and you pushed him back playfully, “Can I please, please get my flask back?” 

“Drinking your sorrows away is not a great habit.” 

“What do you mean sorrows? I caught the snitch, I should be celebrating!” 

He took a long sip of the firewhiskey before passing it over to you. “Don’t gulp it down again,” he warned. 

“Ugh, you’re such a mom,” you replied as you took a sip.

“A mom?!? Not a dad?” 

“Daddy maybe,” you snickered, he rolled his eyes at you but smiled regardless.

At some point, Marlene discovered you in the corner and dragged you to dance with her, you barely had time to hand the flask to Remus before she was prompting you to shake around in the improvised dance floor. After a while, you started to feel the strain in your shoulder and decided to lie down instead. But you were stopped by Nox, who waved at you from the side to get closer. 

“Hi!” you greeted, “Glad you and Comet made it.” 

He nodded in response and then hesitated as if he wanted to say something “Do you,” he scratched the back of his head, “Fucking Neil, I’m getting him for this,” he mumbled. “You see, some kids from my class and a few others who’ve joined decided to make a mini quidditch game.” You hummed in response. “Each of the teams we formed will be allowed to invite one of the pros to the game.” 

“One of the pros?” you asked, an eyebrow quirked. 

He nodded, “Yeah, one of the members of the quidditch teams…” he took a deep breath. “Would you… would you like to be in our team?” he asked.

You simply nodded, “Sure!”  The fact that James wouldn’t be too happy about you over-exerting yourself didn’t even cross our mind “Who’s the other player?” 

“It’s Alex Wood,” he told you “You’re friends, right?” 

You nodded, “It’ll be nice to see him as a keeper before the official game.” 

Nox shook his head “Oh no, he’s… he’s not going to be a keeper, he’ll play chaser.” 

“Really?” You asked, a little shocked. 

“Yeah, it was part of the rules, so the game was more balanced. We were thinking of making you a seeker, but well, it wouldn’t be very balanced, would it?” 

You raised your eyebrows “If that’s your way of complimenting my seeker skills Nox, I’ll take it gladly. Especially from a Slytherin.” 

“As if you needed more compliments than you already have,” he scoffed. “Anyway, how do you feel about being a chaser, or a beater?” 

“Well…” you said, rolling your wounded shoulder unconsciously.

“Can’t do beater sorry,” Sirius said as he wrapped one of his arms around you, placing his hand near enough your wound, not to hurt you, but to remind you. “She needs some time to recover after the fall.” 

“Puppy you’re back!” you said as you leaned onto him. “How was detention?” 

“Humdrum, as you’d expect,” he replied, not giving it too much thought. “If you need a beater I could fill in for her.” 

“Oh no,” Nox shook his head calmly. “She can be a chaser, it’d better actually, I believe, Solacis wanted to be a beater.” 

Sirius tilted his head, and Nox swallowed “Anyway, that was what I wanted to ask, I’ll give you more details about the game during the week,” he said before scurrying off. 

You turned to Sirius, “You threw him the look.” 

“You shouldn’t be playing quidditch,” he responded simply and squeezed your arm a little. “You should be resting instead.” 

You shrugged, “We won.” 

He nodded “Peter told me,” he said with a slightly displeased nod and leaned the butterbeer he had in his hand towards you, “Want some?” 

You took it from his hand and gave it a sip, “Did he tell you about…” 

“The way you fucking jumped off your broom? Of course, he did.” 

“Nosy little rat,” you mumbled. 

“And you think I wouldn’t have found out?!?” 

You shrugged. “I didn’t jump off, by the way… My broom was being coursed, I would have fallen down regardless, I just thought I’d have higher chances of getting the snitch if I leapt towards it.”

“And your counter jinx didn’t work?” 

“What?” You asked, head snapping his way, eyes opened wide.

“Your counter Jinx? I assume it wasn’t working because–“ he noticed the surprise on your face. “You did try to use a counter jinx before jumping off your broom, right?” You looked at him, dazed.  “Starshine…” 

You gave him an apologetic look, “I guess I just didn’t… I needed to get the snitch.” 

He groaned, laying his head on your shoulder. “You do know counter jinxes, right luv?” he asked, turning to look at you, still from the crook of your neck, his breath tickling over your soft skin. 

 You swallowed, the closeness making you nervous. “Well… I mean I know a few, not a specific one but–”

“I know a couple, I’ll teach you,” he said determinedly. “We’ll practise next time we go flying with James, I’ll be trying to throw you off and you’ll have to counter it. It’s advanced wandless magic, but if anyone can master it, it’s you.” 

You leaned down and gave him a small peck on the temple, “Thanks Pups.” 

“Pas de problème,” he said simply. 

“Sirius we need to move,” James said as he gripped your boyfriend from his jacket and hauled him off your shoulder. 

Your boyfriend groaned at the loss of your touch, “James, next time you cockblock me like this I will hex you.” 

“McGonagall is coming,” James said simply.  Sirius’ breath hitched. 

“What’s wrong with that?” you asked. 

“She gave us specific instructions to go straight to our room,” Sirius explained.  “Said if we didn’t, we’d be in detention for a lot longer.”  

“Invisibility cloak?” you asked looking at James, he shook his head and you took your wand out, disillusioning them both at the same time, “Go, I’ll distract her.” 

“Thanks, Vix,” you heard James say quietly.

Then felt a hot breath on your shoulder. “On the hideout we used for Marlene’s party after Maggie’s gone to check our room, I’ll take the cloak.” 

You turned to him with a smirk, even if you couldn’t see him, and nodded. Then you moved towards McGonagall, who was looking around the heads of students in the common room. 

”Professor!” You called, she turned to you, hesitant, as if she still needed to find something, “Professor I’ve been meaning to ask you something.” 

She sighed and turned to you, “Yes, darling?” 

You smiled at her, charming and apologetic, “If I’m distracting you then–” 

She shook her head, almost feeling bad at herself for not giving you the necessary attention, “Are you alright? That was– it was a nasty fall you took on,” she grimaced. 

And then you remembered, she was going to be a professional player but fell off her broom and got injured, you instantly felt bad, your fall must have brought back a lot of memories, “I am,” you responded quickly and changed the subject. “But it’s… It’s actually about transfiguration… I thought you would ask Remus to help me with tutoring?” 

She looked at you a little taken aback, “You didn’t ask him yourself?” 

You shook your head “I should have?”  

“Well, since you were in classes together. And you seem to be really close, I assumed you had already… Never mind, would you like me to ask him?” 

“Uh… no, no, I suppose I can just do it myself.” She frowned but nodded, and then gave a step as if to go back to searching “Wait!” you said, a little worried James hadn’t gotten to his room yet. 

“I’m…” fuck what do I even say, “I’d like to know about contraceptive potions.” The professor seemed visibly scandalised at your question, “For a friend,” you added meekly. 

She gave you a rather stern look, I’ve fucked it up, I’ve fucked it up, but McGonagall just sighed and nodded. “It’s only natural to be curious about this stuff,” she started approaching the subject in a rather neutral and tentative tone. I really fucked it up. “Especially when it’s not a subject included in the curriculum. And believe me, I have been trying to include it for the longest time.” 

You held back a gasp, looking at her surprised, “Wait, really?” 

She nodded, “Generally I gather the Gryffindors in the last year to teach them the basics before they go out in the world but I suppose since you’re dating Mr. Black, and Merlin knows that boy is rather… eager–” You winced, way to throw poor Sirius under the bus. You already knew how to brew the potion, you’d gotten the recipe from a book Marlene had borrowed, given to her by her older sister, and you certainly didn’t expect to have that kind of talk with Minnie, but you had to pull through, for your friends. “So I suppose you could come to our next meeting, of course you’d have to get a letter from your parents stating you can do so, since you’re still under age.” 

You nodded, trying to settle the small frown that had formed on your face. Now you’d have to find a way to fake a letter from your mom or something, “Of course,” you said, “thank you very much, Professor McGonagall.” 

She gave you a look and sighed again, “Is there anything else I can help you with?” 

You realised you were still blocking her way, and you shook your head “No, no… I’m sorry,” you responded and moved out of her way, looking at the way she disappeared through the stairs. You took a deep breath and sat on one of the sofas. Head laying back as you processed what had happened until you felt the pressure shift beneath you. 

You turned to the side and smiled when you spotted him, he had a glass of something that smelled alcoholic in his left hand “Hey Pete!” 

“You know, I’ve been thinking…”

“Must have hurt.”

“Prick!” He said with a laugh as he shoved you with his shoulder and then proceeded, “When I was 10 my parents got me my own cat.” He said. You knew he was going to continue talking so you let him. “And we rubbed the kitten on my sister’s older cat so she would accept it as part of their family.”

You nodded, frowning a little as you tried to process what he’d said “I don’t have a kitten.” 

He frowned and then realised his statement might have been a little ambiguous. “Oh, well… I mean, you know how Moony chased you fiercely last moon and he’d been chasing after you earlier too. Like, in the previous moons he’d been absolutely relentless, wanting to get in the castle, almost impossible for Padfoot and Prongs to control. I think… well I think it might be because of the way you smell? I mean I’m not nearly as good as Pads with the sense of smell but… you do have a rather strong scent.”  

Your frown deepened. Strong scent? “Should I be offended?” 

He shook his head quickly “NO! I don’t mean to say that you smell bad!” He was stumbling with his words “I’m just saying it’s distinctive… especially for us, probably a lot more for them since they’re canines too.” 

 “So… bottom line is, you’re saying I should go rub myself into Remus?!” You asked incredulously. He flushed. But then you thought about it. It wasn’t that far-fetched… “I’m around you guys all the time, the smell should already be there already anyway, right? Didn’t seem to help last Monday either.”

Peter shook his head “You’re not around us in animagi form.” 

“Oh, so I’m supposed to turn into a fox and then go rub on Remus? Cross my paws he doesn’t eat me on the spot?” 

“Not Remus! You could rub on Padfoot or- Prongs…. I’d say me but I’m way too small,” He explained “That would give you the smell of the pack.” 

“Right…” you trailed off “And that would work? As in, if I go around, trying to get Sirius’ scent all over me, the wolf won’t try to eat me next time he sees me?”

“It’s worth a shot?” Peter said with a shrug “I mean it’s that or he’ll keep looking for you. You know once a werewolf catches a scent it’s… impossible to stop it. And you’re dating Sirius anyway, so take it as quality bonding time.”

You reclined on the sofa, trying to take all the new information in, the more you thought about it, the more it made sense. Perhaps it really could work. Remus sat beside you a little after “Saw you talk to Minnie, everything all right?” 

You groaned at that, letting your head fall back again as you reached for the flask in his hand and brought it to your lips, taking a sip and feeling the taste burn your throat. You sighed, “I need to falsify a letter from my mum.” 

Remus raised an eyebrow “Why?” 

“I asked Professor McGonagall about contraceptive potions,” you said reluctantly, as you shut your eyes. 

Peter, who seemed shocked, was the one to speak next “Oi? Yes I’m coming!” he said as if someone had called him and then stood up and fled. 

Remus on the other side, had tensed, but you were way too fucking preoccupied with the memory to notice. “For you and Sirius…” he acknowledged, almost bitterly, “we could’ve gotten them in the restricted section,” he added, trying exceptionally hard not to clench his jaw.

You turned to him in shock, “What?! I didn’t ask because I needed them! I needed to distract Maggie so Prongs and Pads could run off to their room, couldn’t think of anything better. I already have the recipe anyway, Ma– it was given to me.”

“Oh,” he managed to say then, as if your answer made the whole thing better. “You want help with it?” 

“With what? The fake letter or brewing the potion?” You asked, diverted. 

Remus shrugged, managing to slip back into a chiller demeanour somehow “Both?” 

You laughed, “That’s incredibly kind of you Rem,” you responded. “I’ll tell you when I require help… For now, though, I just need a drink,” you said as you took another sip and then remembered the conversation with Maggie again “Ugh, she now thinks we’re nothing but horny teenagers.” 

“She’s not wrong,” he teased with a smile and you elbowed him in response.

“Arse.” 

You then felt a tug at your hair, you turned around and there was nothing. You narrowed your eyes but took another sip. And then you felt it again. You knew who it was in an instant and stood up. 

“You leaving?” He asked as you did, not being able to mask his disappointment, even just having you beside him made him feel better. 

“Mhm,” you said as you bit your lip, not wanting to prove his point, “I’ll go get some snacks, want some?” 

He shook his head, and you started walking to the hideout. Sirius was just behind you, using the cloak to hide, his hand firmly pressed to your shoulder. You looked back, and then the two of you attempted to slide inside the tight passage, but there were already two people inside. And those two people were snogging. You pulled back, stepping on the cloak and causing it to fall from Sirius’ shoulders. The four of you staring at each other in complete shock. Two of which were a lot more mortified than the rest. 

You, being distracted by the situation, did not feel the way Sirius’s hand on your shoulder tensed. And since your back was to him, you also didn’t notice the way his eyes had gone wide or the way his breath hitched on his throat. 

“Oh hey Sly Sprite, wanna join in?” Tom joked as he stared at you, Sirius, somehow overcoming the initial shock gave him a murderous look, the same he had used on Nox earlier, the Black family scowl, but it seemed to have no effect on the boy. “You can join too handsome,” he winked. Earning a slap on the shoulder from Minho.

Sirius, who had been enthralled in the sight, was instantly taken aback by Tom’s words as you spoke, “Sorry to bother you boys, we’ll find a different place to snog.” You had a very apologetic look on your face as you grabbed the cloak from the floor but Minho grabbed onto your arm, eyes pleading. “Don’t worry, I’ll deal with him,” you told him, “Not a soul will find out.” 

“You promise?” He asked, still apprehensive. Tom, who had looked diverted up until that point, seemed to understand the delicacy of the subject for Minho, and placed a hand on his upper arm reassuringly. 

“Sirius is trustworthy, as much as Sly Sprite, no one will know unless you want it,” Tom said, he was now rubbing Minho’s arm reassuringly.  

“Yes, that’s true,” you agreed, “I’ll talk to him Min, just enjoy yourself, and um… maybe put a spell up so this doesn’t happen again.” You then grabbed Sirius by the arm, and covered the two of you with the cloak.

Minutes stretched into silence as you and Sirius moved away from the spectacle, the sounds of the party fading into the background as you pulled him towards a different direction. 

Up until then, Sirius Black had never seen two boys kiss. And he was experiencing things he was so not supposed to be experiencing after it. You were still dragging him towards a different section, your hand intertwined with his as you sorted through people, as he stared blankly ahead. You didn’t stop until you were both hidden on a small section near the back of the spiral staircase that you knew was also another snogging spot, but a lot less used because of how cramped it was. You didn’t mind being so close to Sirius though, you never had.

“Tom and Minho, they’re… fags?” he said once you cast a muffliato around the two of you.

“That’s an awful word to use,” you reprimanded with a frown, Sirius seemed to be taken aback by it. 

“Gay.” 

You tilted your head, making a rather unconvinced hm, that just seemed to confuse Sirius even more, the scene of Tom and Minho kissing replying on his head over and over and over again, sometimes with them, sometimes with different people being the ones kissing. That was the one that scared him the most. 

“Well, technically Tom is Bi but–” 

“By? By what?” 

“Bisexual… or pan I think.” Your brain was a bit cloudy with how much you’d had to drink, and you were so not expecting to have this conversation with Sirius “He just doesn’t give a fuck about gender.” 

“And Minho?”

“I think he only likes boys, but I’m not sure, we didn’t talk much about it.” You admitted with a shrug “As you can see it’s a rather delicate subject for him.” 

“And you knew? About both of them,” he said with a frown. “Why did you know?” 

You shrugged, “Tom told me, with Minho I sort of guessed, and he spilled the beans about… never mind. You are aware absolutely no one can find out about that, right?” 

“But why? Rock singers… they too– I mean. Why do they hide it?”

“Cause people will start calling them fags if they don’t,” you said as if it were obvious. “Sirius if you were gay you wouldn’t go out and announce it to the entire world.” And then you thought about your words, and let a long sigh escape your lips “or perhaps you actually would.” 

Sirius seemed to think about it for a moment but didn’t say a thing. “So you can like men and women at the same time?” he asked, brow furrowing as he tried to process the information. Of the entire conversation, that had somehow slipped into his brain, and it would mull it over and over again since you mentioned it. He didn’t know. 

“Yeah,” you responded with a shrug, “I like girls too, sometimes,” you were not expecting to admit that to your boyfriend, but apparently that firewhiskey had been strong enough to let it slip by.

Sirius was surprised by that revelation, so surprised he almost let go of the initial wave of shock that had gone over him and the images that would play on his brain over and over again. Of Remus in the library, of him and Remus in the library. 

His initial reaction faded into a warm smile, and he chuckled lightly, this new discovery about you allowing him to forgo his thoughts only for a second, and mask them with humour, like he was accustomed to, "Well, that's interesting. Any particular stories you'd like to share?" He had an eyebrow raised, a cheeky smile on his lips. 

“Sirius.” You admonished. 

He shrugged, “What, it’s kind of hot.” 

You huffed out a laugh and turned to the side before looking back at him, half diverted that such a revelation garnered said reaction. Perhaps you should have expected it, you were dating Sirius Black after all. 

If you had been a little less drunk, and a little less tired from the fall just hours ago, perhaps you would have noticed the way Sirius’ eyes moved rapidly from one side to the other as he was thinking, how he asked about bisexuality with such a careful, and controlled tone, as if trying to sound casual and hoping his nerves wouldn’t betray his thoughts. You would have seen the way you stated you were also bi, had given him a sense of reassurance. As if his thoughts were somehow a little more acceptable now.

But you were exhausted, the fall, the talk with Regulus –that you still had to mention to Sirius– the talk with McGonagall, you were barely holding yourself together at that point. With so many things weighing over your shoulders, too preoccupied with Minho being found out and McGonagall’s thoughts of you that you missed most of it. Letting yourself be easily fooled by Sirius’ half smile and flirty wink.

Eventually, you turned your head back, looking at him straight in the eyes, and adopting a more grave tone “Sirius, nobody will know of what happened in that closet except for the two of us, deal? Not James, not Peter–” 

“Not Moony–” he finished. 

You were about to tell him Remus knew but thought better of it, Sirius was so naturally curious he’d want to know why he did, and there was no good way of explaining it.

“Yes,” you confirmed. 

“Okay,” he said simply. “No one will know.”

And then there was silence, something between a rather awkward situation and both of you deep in your thoughts. Sirius’ mind slipping back to the library, and the images of things that had never happened and could never happen, because he loved you. He was certain of that, and whatever the hell was going on in his brain must have been nothing more than his overactive imagination thinking of silly things. Silly tall things with big broad shoulders and brown-golden eyes. Silly things that smelled of books, chocolate and sometimes cigarette smoke. Silly things that he shouldn’t be thinking about but his stupid brain insisted on putting at the forefront of his head. 

You had, at some point, gravitated towards him, letting your head fall on his shoulder with a sigh, but didn’t say anything more. He found he liked you being close to him like that. Even if you weren’t kissing, he always liked having you close, holding your hands, or giving you hugs, and you had always been eager to return those affections. 

You were perfect, from your smaller frame to the way your breath tickled his neck, from the way your hands intertwined with his to the tip of your shoes clashing against his own. He looked down at you, at your eyes shut, resting on his shoulder, your lashes curling upwards and making you look absolutely angelic, he was sure it was one of the prettiest sights of his life, and yet his mind insisted on switching, the perfect image of you laying on his shoulder replaced by flashes of a taller figure in the library.

To his taller frame and his light brown lashes, to his warm breath and the way his large hand had covered his mouth. It was silly, you were perfect, and Sirius was sure, undoubtedly sure that he loved you like he hadn’t loved anyone in his entire life and yet, he kept thinking of him.

He was so engrossed in his own thoughts that he barely realised when you let out a long and silent yawn, let alone when the rhythm of your breath steadied or when your body slumped slightly a little more into his. Only noticing when you let out the lightest, most heart-warming snore he’d ever heard. He turned to you, your peaceful sleeping figure, and smiled at himself, admiring the way your eyes would tremble slightly, and the way your cheek pressed against his shoulder forcing your mouth into the tiniest of pouts. 

He chuckled “ Starshine! Did you fall asleep?” he teased. 

Your eyes opened up slowly, a frown etched on your face as you looked up to him. “No,” you lied shamelessly before yawning. Sirius’s little smirk just grew a tinge more. 

“Come on,” he said as he patted you on the arm. “You should get some sleep, you must be really tired.” 

You shook your head, or attempted to do it at least, only managing to shake it a little “I wanna be at the party… I wanna be with you.” 

Sirius could tell you were a lot more sleep than awake, especially since you were complaining like a toddler, he wished he could get you on recording. “I can’t be at the party,” he reminded you softly, his deep voice echoing in your ears soothingly. 

“Then just with you. I like it here.” 

“In the cramped space under the stairs?” 

You nodded with a confirming hum, “You’re warm.” 

Sirius nuzzled his head into yours and placed a soft kiss on your cheek. “If the fall is not making your bones creak by the morning, then sleeping while standing up in the most cramped little snogging hole in the entire common room will, come on, let’s get you to your room.” 

Your frown deepened “Party popper.” 

Sirius had never been called a party popper in his entire life, in fact, he’d go as far as to say he was always the life of the party. But eventually, you woke yourself enough to pull back and stare at him, your eyes still hooded with sleep and tiredness, not having had a minute of relaxation in almost the entire day, and being close to Sirius had somehow gotten you to let all your walls down and rest, maybe it was the dog in him, like a service dog or something. 

“You’re cute,” you said suddenly, and Sirius was so surprised that he went red. “Really cute,” you added with a satisfied smile. 

He chuckled a little afterwards, “I’m going to start thinking you’re not only sleepy but also seriously drunk.” 

You frowned, and yawned again “I’m neither,” you insisted. 

Gently, Sirius wrapped the cloak around the two of you and guided you up the stairs, you had leaned your head on his shoulder and drifted between sleep and awake a couple of times as he walked you up the staircase. When you were finally in your room he gave you another look, you lifted your head from his shoulder and tilted it the other way “What’re you looking at?” 

“At my stunning girlfriend,” he responded 

“Mhm?” 

“Mhm,” he confirmed, “go to bed now, you’ll feel like shit in the morning. I’ll tell James you’re not flying–” 

“I AM flying!” You complained, waking up enough to argue.

“You’ll have a hangover tomorrow–” 

“I had only like–” you counted with your fingers, but gave up after you finished with one of your hands, “A few sips.” 

“You’re a lightweight then, go to bed.” 

You scoffed, “Sirius Black, if you’re gone by the time I walk down in the morning because you convinced Prongs that I’m not coming, I’ll wake up Remus and tell him it’s your fault.” 

“Remus?” 

You nodded, “He gets pissed if he doesn’t sleep his hours and you’re working on your magical theory project with him tomorrow, he’ll be pissy and make you work extra.” 

Sirius frowned, “You little minx!” 

You gave him a satisfied smile, “So keep that in mind before leaving tomorrow. Besides, you promised we would practise counterspells.”

Series Masterlist | Next Chapter

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A/N: Well, the cat's outta the bag. A few chapters ago you were talking about Sirius figuring out Vixen is bi and I had already written this chapter, I kid you not, it was so hard to keep my mouth shut hehe. Side note: more of Sirius' gay panic, it's one of my favourite things to write ngl.

Read more Marauders Fiction

[sheepwavehdg]

[Nonfiction/serious, CW recount of online sexual harassment] So, holy fuck. Last night someone developed an introject/fictive of one of my characters, Sally Fable from Good Sensory. It went poorly.

This person was barely more than a total stranger to me and had been sending me some just plain nonsensical DMs on discord, so I just muted them for 24 hours because I didn't care or feel like dealing with it. I was about to be enjoying some Substances™, and I just told them I wasn't gonna be avaliable.

Fast forward a few hours later and my very pleasant high is interrupted by the notification that someone is calling me on discord. I tab over, and discover hundreds of messages calling me mistress, begging me to punish them, sending me partially nude photos, asking for reassurances that because they're Sally Fable, I wrote Good Sensory for them too (more on that in a moment)

I block them as soon as I understand what's happening, and then I think I started getting notifications of them pinging me on the HDG discord, bypassing the block via pluralkit(???) so I left the discord (I am unsure of this and can't find any supporting evidence of it now that Ive rejoined, I was high and confused, but it's what I thought was happening in the moment anyway which is why I left) and got to have the lovely experience of learning how much worse a panic attack hurts when you're high and every sensation has "reverb" on your body.

This felt so particularly violating because Sally is not some character I made up whole cloth, her personality and appearance is specifically modeled on two of my partners. This is not a secret, it's in the chapter notes. I know this person read those, because some of the hundreds of messages they sent me referenced it and asked if this meant I wrote it for them too.

I made the discord staff aware of what was going on and they did a great job of both handling the situation on the server and lots of them reaching out to me and making me feel like I wasn't alone and they had my back, which meant more in that moment than I can even put into words. 😭

Anyway, I just woke up a few hours ago from a nightmare where this person sent me a suicide note via the comments on Good Sensory, which unfortunately is well within the reasonable possibility space of a thing that happens when someone fixates on you and you block them and they are banned from their community. (I have had stalkers in the past! Yay!)

So yeah I was very much not calm to see this when I woke up

I got a friend to check over the comments before I looked, and fortunately it was just normal comments. I've been absolutely blown away by the reaction to Good Sensory in particular, and I love reading peoples comments. That I was made to feel scared of something that would normally make me flap my hands in joy (sixteen new comments overnight is not unheard of for me, but it's still not typical) feels so shitty.

I also feel horribly guilty even tho I know it's irrational for me to feel anything but violated by this having happened. Like there's a reason I identify with the affini, I can't see someone in distress and not want to help. I feel bad that what I assume was a vulnerable trans woman clearly in some kind of psychosis state is going to have to wake up from it and find out they blew up their own social life yesterday.

But yeah, god, fuck, what a thing that happened. I had to write this just to proscess this experience. It doesn't feel like it was real but like it was. I'm going to be shaken by this for a bit most likely 😓

[aziraphales-library]

Hi!

Such amazing work the lot of you are doing. I'm both impressed and very, very grateful. <3

I'm looking for fics exploring what could happen next in the story. The fic Factory Settings absolutely blew me away. It's so faithful to both style and canon (well, almost), the characters really seem like themselves, and it's heavily plot driven while at the same time keeping their relationship at the centre.

Do you have any recommendations for fics like Factory Settings, that explore a possible season 3 storyline for me to indulge in until we get the real s3?

Hello! We have a #good omens s3 speculation tag, so check that out for loads of recs. Here are more to add...

When a Ripple Becomes a Tidal Wave, the Reason is to Blame by DiscombobulatedBard (T)

Six months after Aziraphale leaves Crowley for Heaven, he finds a way to secretly speak with him. The supreme Archangel has changed his mind; heaven and hell cannot be fixed, cannot be changed. Instead they must be rendered obsolete. There’s only one weapon in the cosmos with the power to destroy the Book of Life and the power it holds over all supernatural beings: the flaming sword of Eden. But Aziraphale’s sword has been… relocated. In order to find it, Crowley must journey to the darkest layers of Hell where horrors and temptations alike await him. He will get home. He will return to Aziraphale no matter what it takes… right?

the right thing to guide us by NotAWriter6 (G)

Aziraphale returns to Earth after several years to enlist Crowley's help to undo Heaven and Hell. Crowley, who is holding on to a lot of anger, reluctantly agrees to aid him one last time.

But You Are An Ocean by megzseattle (T)

After Aziraphale's defection, Crowley tries to figure out how to live life for himself.

Grand Theft Angel by doraminatook (E)

“Here’s the thing, Muriel," Crowley barked, "Do you know how many times over the past however-many eons, I have dropped everything that I was doing - even if it was more important or far more interesting - so that I could go save Aziraphale? Do you know how many times I went out of my way to help him? And what did he do? He just left. Because he got a better offer. Why should I risk my neck and help him out when he clearly wouldn’t do the same for me!?" “Because you love him.” Muriel said it so nonchalantly, as if it was so obvious…because it was. : Deep in the vaults of Heaven is the Penal Institution for Ungodly Behavior (AKA Heaven's prison system). Following Aziraphale's attempts to undermine The Second Coming, he has been stripped of the Supreme Archangel title and left to rot there for all eternity. That is unless Crowley and Muriel's plan to rescue him succeeds. It's a dangerous plan (bordering on idiotic, complete with a mysterious package, a science experiment gone wrong, and a little demonic possession), but if it means bringing his angel home, then Crowley is willing to burn all of Heaven to ashes.

Good Omens - Corner Office with a View (Broke My Wings so You Could Fly) by Noli_Timere031754 (M)

A year after season two, Aziraphale is trapped in Heaven. He sees Crowley living on Earth, all alone and in trouble. With help, he manages to act accordingly. Crowley’s heartbreak leads to him to being a damsel in distress. Excerpt: Aziraphale recalled what he’d seen out his office window. With it’s close and clear view of London, Earth. He hadn’t meant to zoom in, where he did. The scene had appeared against his will. A certain demon. All alone and buying several cases of the worst scotch he’d ever tasted. Oodles of it. Something he drank when he didn’t care about quality, only getting drunk as fast as possible. Crowley looked bad. Aziraphale didn’t think he’d ever seen him with a hair out of place, and certainly never in dirty clothes and flip flops. But there he was. The only familiar part of his attire had been his sunglasses.

Three Is Not Enough by haleinedelail (T)

Ten months after the Metatron blew up their lives at the end of season 2, Heaven has placed a temptation in Crowley’s path. It's a trap, of course, and Crowley knows it, but not the kind of trap that he thinks. And, bless him, he can't resist walking straight into it. Literally physically injured, Crowley must jump headlong into saving... something. But he'll have to make a terrible choice. The story has a healthy dollop of Crowley working through his (ahem) personal demons, and grief. It has some romance, but also some harsh truths for Aziraphale, several jaunts back in time (though, not too far back!), and some exposed fuckery on the part of Heaven (the good guys, right?). I promise a happy ending, but it might be a rough road getting there... but would we have it any other way?

- Mod D

[lightdancingwords]

Second Chances - Part Two of ?

Pairings: Beau Arlen x Y/N Female reader

Series Summary: A chance meeting in a grocery store brings a second chance for you and for Beau. The only thing standing in your way are your respective pasts... and a tiny little roadblock.

Word Count: 3708

Tags/Warnings: Profanity, fluff, minor injuries, bad food, minor car accident.

A/N: Comments, Likes, Reblogs, Kind feedback are always highly appreciated. Please let me know if you want to be added to the tag list! I couldn't resist--I gotta have me some Beau while writing Dean! This is a brand new story of Beau and female reader!

Divider: credit to @sweetmelodygraphics

Chapter Two: First Date Disaster

Beau was in trouble.

He stared at his minuscule closet, of the clothing he had, and would be damned if he knew what to wear for his date tonight. It wasn’t fancy; he didn’t want to go overboard. That’d make it seem he was overcompensating. He also didn’t go too casual; Mama Arlen would skin him alive if she found out he took a girl to a McDonald’s or something for the first date.

No, he was going to take Y/N to a decent restaurant in Big Sky. It was new, so he hoped it was up to snuff. He just didn’t want to do shirt and jeans. Nor did he want to go with a fancy suit.

Fuck. Dating wasn’t supposed to be hard! When he courted Carla, it’d been easy. He’d charmed her with a picnic out in Austin by the lake, and it ended with one hell of a kiss.

He hadn’t been on a date in… shit, twenty years. He felt old. Out of touch.

With a mutter, he grabbed a button-up shirt and a pair of his best jeans—look, ma, no holes! Then tugged on his best pair of boots. A Texan in Montana. God help him.

It’d have to do. He looked his reflection over and felt those first date jitters. He liked what he knew of Y/N. Her daughter—God, what a kid—charmed him with her ferocity. He only hoped they felt the same about him.

With a quick check of his beard, pleased that it was looking decently trimmed and no food trapped in the bristles, he went to his truck and headed off to pick up Y/N.

The texts between them had been cute so far. Once he got home from his grocery run and initial meeting of her, he'd texted her right away, choosing to be adorable (in his mind):

Hey, hope this isn't too late to bother you. Hope you got home safe with the little wolf-child.

He didn't have to wait long. Y/N got back to him, replying with:

She stayed asleep the whole time I was bringing groceries in. She’s still asleep. You must have the magic touch.

Absurdly, that made him smile. He liked to think so, given how difficult Emily had been as a baby. Colicky, they knew now. But then, Beau was always a charmer. He couldn't resist with:

I try to reserve it for special occasions. Don’t want to lose the magic.

He didn’t know what inspired him to do that, but Y/N's response had him nearly dropping his bottle of beer into the campfire.

Oh? I hope I get the special occasion soon.

Goddamn. He liked her already.

Beau thought back to that exchange, bit back a grin. He normally didn't like to rush the flirtation, the dating, the warm buildup to taking a woman to bed. Y/N was making him rethink that after that little bit of flirting.

Then his tire blew out. Wildly the truck swerved, and he swore up a storm as he fought to keep it from flipping over. He counted his blessings as it stuttered to the shoulder, his heart pounding in his chest. Sweet Lord... that was too close.

Grumbling, Beau sent a quick text to Y/N to let her know he had to replace a flat—another one, dammit!—and would be there as quick as he could. At this rate, he was going to have to have the other tires checked be replaced before this happened again.

He grabbed his jack and lug wrench and went to work. His luck was spectacularly bad tonight. The lug nuts wouldn’t move. He swore, shifted his stance and thank God it moved—!

He tried again and it loosened so fast he stumbled forward and scraped his knuckles across the road. The pain was furiously bad and he saw his knuckles bleeding. Just fucking great.

He grabbed a bandana, wrapped up his hand, and went to work. After swearing and sweating, he finally got the tire switched out. Thank God he paid for a full sized spare so he wouldn’t have to worry about the spare blowing out in the long drive from his trailer to town.

Then he looked down at his shirt. His white shirt… was no longer white. It was smeared with tire dust and oh great, blood. Now he’s a mess.

He debated going back to his trailer to change, then opted not to be even later. He could stop by the sheriff’s department and grab his spare there instead.

He texted Y/N to let her know he’s on his way and apologized for being late. She responded so quickly he worried she’d been impatiently waiting for him. Then he read it:

I’m glad to hear you’re all right! Please, don’t rush. I’d rather be late than have you get into an accident. I’ll see you soon.

He smiled. An understanding woman. He was lucky. Relieved, he headed back onto the road and made the detour to the sheriff’s department to change out his shirt and bandage up his hand. His knuckles looked raw; that was gonna leave a scar.

He sighed. Wouldn’t be the first.

He got to Y/N’s home only 35 minutes late, which made him cringe. He liked being prompt. Damned tire.

He knocked on her door and called up his best smile. She opened it and oh my God—she was gorgeous. She did something to her hair that just made him want to run his fingers through it and pull her in for a kiss.

He fought the urge. Barely.

She looked him over, and something sparkles in her eyes as she zeroed on his face. “Beau… you have a smear of oil or something on your cheek.”

“Aw hell,” he muttered, lifting a hand to feel the stickiness.

That was when she saw his bandages and her smile dropped, replaced with concern. “Oh my God, are you okay?”

“I’m a klutz today, apparently,” he said. “Lug wrench slipped and my knuckles saved me. I’ll be all right. You’re sweet to worry, darlin’.”

She smiled faintly. “Well, let’s get your face cleaned up and then we can go, how’s that?”

“Sounds like a plan.”

She had to use Dawn. Thank God that soap was a miracle worker because it was either that or some powerful Orange cleaner which usually stank to high hell. Once his face and hands were thoroughly cleaned and his hand re-bandaged—she’d insisted and he wasn’t about to say ‘no’—they were off to the restaurant.

Y/N glanced at him as he drove. “Tell me about the restaurant.”

“Well,” he said, tapping his thumb in the steering wheel, “it’s a new place. Hadn’t heard much about it, to be honest. Opened up last week. It’s Italian. Hope ya like it.”

“I love Italian,” she said with a smile. “I actually studied in Rome abroad for a semester when I was in college.”

“No foolin’,” he said with a surprised smile. “Got ourselves a well-traveled woman.”

She laughed. “Not really! Just one semester but God, I loved it. The food, the atmosphere. Walked the Coliseum. I wouldn’t mind going back.” She slanted a look at him. “What about you?”

“Never left the country if that’s what you’re asking about,” he said, and smiled. “Does coming from Texas count?”

“I had a suspicion you weren’t a Montana native,” she teased and he laughed. His accent was a dead giveaway.

“Been in Big Sky all your life outside of Rome?” he asked, intrigued. He liked her. She was easy to talk to.

“No. Moved a bit around for a while. Originally from Billings,” she replied. “My parents are still there.”

“Yeah? Nice to be close by,” he mused. He thought of his parents for a moment, still in Texas. He called them often, especially his mother.

“It is. I moved to Big Sky a few years ago. I rather like it,” she went on. “How about you?”

“Came here two years ago,” he answered, turning down the road to the restaurant. “Followed my daughter when her mother decided to come here. Ended up working at the sheriff’s department and decided to stay.”

“Emily, right?”

He liked that she remembered. “Yep,” he pulled into the parking lot. Beau couldn’t decide if he was happy to see a small number of cars or if he should be concerned. It was prime dining time, after all. “She’s still here, just at university now.”

“Oh yeah?” She unbuckled as he parked. “What is she studying?” She laid a hand on the handle when he made a sound to stop her. “What? What did I do?”

“A gentleman helps the lady out of the car,” he said in an aggrieved tone.

She blinked in surprise. “As a feminist I can’t decide if I should be flattered or offended.”

“Flattered,” he told her as he got out of his side and circled around. When he opened her side, he added, “It ain’t about taking away your autonomy. It’s me treatin’ ya right.”

She smiled at him as he helped her out. “Let me guess… you’ll want to get the door and pull out my seat too?”

He returned her smile, green eyes warm. “Damn right.”

She chuckled. “You surprise me, Beauregard.”

”I could offer you my arm too,” he said, walking beside her. “If ya like.”

“I’ll think about it,” she said, and actually paused for him to open the restaurant door. He appreciated her willingness and opened it for her, following her inside.

It seemed pleasant enough, he decided. The interior of the restaurant wasn’t heavily decorated and he had the sense it was struggling to decide how to make its appearance appealing. The servers seemed… to just stand around. Crap, that worried him.

The date had a bad start and he wanted it to end on a good note. He was now wondering if it would even crack neutral.

He cleared his throat loudly to get one of the server’s attention. They glanced over at him boredly and said, “Yeah?”

Beau considered a number of reactions, almost none of them suitable for the sheriff of Big Sky and for the public. He clenched his jaw, bit back his temper, and managed, “We’d like a table. Or would you prefer booth?”

Y/N glanced at the bored server, then at Beau. “Booth,” she said at last, with a tiny smile.

Beau straightened, pleased. It meant they could sit next to each other, really close, too. The server rolled his eyes and walked over to the first booth available. Beau allowed Y/N to sit first, watching as the server set down menus.

Within moments of sliding in, Y/N yelped and pulled her hand away, revealing some half-dried ketchup. “Um... the seat needs to be cleaned.”

“Oh, sorry,” the server said, still sounding as bored as heck. It was starting to irritate Beau. Y/N moved back out and the server wiped it down with a dirty rag. “There you go.”

“No.” Beau’s tone brooked no argument. “New booth. A clean one.”

The server met Beau’s gaze, then his eyes widened. “Uh... sure. Give me a second.”

Y/N glanced at Beau, then at the server. Her final glance at Beau was full of veiled curiosity. “What did you do to him?”

“Just gave him a look.” Beau smiled. “Just makin’ sure he does his job.”

Y/N let out a soft laugh. “God, Beau. It was just a dirty booth. Not a big deal.” She glanced down at her hand and wrinkled her nose. “Let me go wash my hands. I’ll be right back.”

“Sure.” Beau watched her walk away and smiled to himself as he watched her hips sway slightly. He liked her. She was patient, easy-tempered.

Then he turned a chilling look at the server as he wiped down a nearby booth. Beau understood restaurant work wasn’t easy. He had dim memories of himself as a teenager being a bus boy for a local cafe in Dallas. God, that was hell. But he did his damnedest and appreciated the hard work. This just bordered on sheer unwillingness to even half-ass the job.

He rubbed the back of his neck, watching. He made damned sure Y/N would have a clean booth to sit and dine. Bad enough he had a blown tire, scraped knuckles and oil on his face. Y/N had a handful of half-dried ketchup. He really wanted it to end on a good note.

By the time Y/N returned, the booth was clean, new utensils were set down and menus were set aside.

“Ya know, I never got around to answerin’ your question,” Beau said to Y/N as they studied the menus. Y/N glanced at him, puzzled. “You asked what Emily was studying.”

“Oh! So I did.” Y/N set the menu down and put her full attention on him. Beau liked that.

“She’s studying film and media. Fancies herself a future director, I think,” he said with a smile. “Ya should’ve seen her. She’d be carrying around her cellphone and recordin’ everything under the sun with wild commentary.”

“Give me an example.” The fact she leaned forward with intense interest warmed him.

Beau smiled at her. “We spent the summer with her followin’ me around, describin’ every borin’ thing I did at the sheriff’s department.”

“Boring? I never would consider the law enforcement boring,” she said with surprise.

He chuckled, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “Normally, I’d agree. This was a rare bout of a borin’ week where she actually, at one point, sat in my chair, feet on my desk, looked at me and went, ‘Dad, your job is boring’.”

Y/N laughed and shook her head. “She sounds like quite the character! I hope my little wolf-child isn’t going to be that bad.”

“She certainly made a good start of it,” he quipped. “I ain’t about to forget nearly being conked with Chef Boyardee cans.”

“Oh God. I’m still sorry about that.”

“Don’t be. She showed a lot of strength of character in that moment.” He had to resist brushing away a loose strand of her hair. “Embrace it. You’ll want that to stick around when she gets older.”

Y/N softened and aw, hell, he gave in. There was a flicker of surprise as he brushed that strand of hair away, tucked it behind her ear. There was a look in her eyes that made him want to kiss her—only to have that moment shatter because the server came over.

Beau resisted the urge to cuss out the server. He was doing his job, even if it ruined a chance to kiss Y/N. Once the orders were given and menus taken, Beau knew the moment was gone. He sighed internally, and tilted his head back to Y/N.

“Ya mind if I ask ya a serious question?”

Y/N’s gaze zeroed on him and he felt surprisingly vulnerable. “You want to ask about Eliza’s father.”

Beau’s brows rose. “Huh. You’re good.”

“After a few rounds of bad dates, I start to figure out it’s one of the bigger questions.” She fiddled with the fork and hesitated a moment. “So… I said I have parents. It’s my mom and step-dad, actually. My parents split when I was young. It wasn’t bad. Just different. And um… three years ago, my father came down with cancer.”

“Aw, darlin’,” he breathed, his heart aching at the way her voice thickened, the way she kept staring at the fork.

“He didn’t make it. I was… we were close. I get along okay with my step-dad, but it’s my father that was like my whole world.” Her gaze flickered to him and he saw the wetness. “Losing him was hard.” She cleared her throat. “There was this guy who came around a lot. We kind of flirted, danced around it for a long time before I lost my father.”

It clicked for Beau. “You found comfort in him.”

Y/N nodded. “We weren’t serious, but it softened the edges. I know that makes me sound easy—”

“Darlin’, it ain’t my place to judge.” She seemed surprised. “I mean it. Not everyone finds the one they’re supposed to be with right away. Sleep around, be celibate, it ain’t my place to decide what’s virtuous.”

Her expression softened. “Thank you for that.” She took a deep breath. “We hung around for a while, then he stopped showing up. I didn’t think too much of it… until I had the positive pregnancy test.”

Beau winced. Grieving her father, man she was sleeping with disappeared, and a positive pregnancy test sounded like a bad combination. “You decided to keep her.”

“I did.” Y/N took a deep breath. “I know it sounded like a bad reason, but I was feeling so lonely and missing my father.” She smiled faintly. “I don’t regret having Eliza. She’s the best thing in my life. She just wasn’t planned.”

“You’re doin’ well with her.”

Y/N smiled at him and he felt his heart do a little flip. “Thank you,” she said with a smile. “That means a lot.”

Dammit. He wanted to kiss her again. “Darlin’…”

“Here are your orders,” the server said, bringing their plates down.

Beau contemplated murder for a long moment. He took a steadying breath and glanced at the server, gave him a tight smile. “Thank you.”

The food at least looked good. In silent agreement, Beau and Y/N dug in. Within the first bite, they both choked. The food was vile. Beau decided his tasted so unappealing he couldn’t even finish chewing it. He grabbed the napkin and spat it out. Y/N did the same.

“Oh my God,” she said in disgust. “That was just…”

“Yeah.” He grabbed his water and took a long drink to wash the taste out of his mouth. “Dear God.”

“That was…” She shook her head. “Three day old food doesn’t even taste that bad.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever had anything this bad.” He coughed. “That’s it.” He waved down the server and snapped his fingers before he gestured down at the table. The server wandered over. The moment he was within hearing distance, Beau began. “This stuff is terrible—”

“Yeah, we know,” the server said, and for the first time that night, his voice sounded like it had life.

Beau stared at him, dumbfounded. “What?”

Y/N glanced at Beau, then the server. “Y-you know?”

“Yeah.” The server shrugged. “The chef’s terrible.”

Beau blinked, confused. “Then get a new chef!”

“Can’t.”

“Why the hell not?”

“It’s the owner.”

Beau heaved a sigh and closed his eyes. “Right. Lemme guess: ya can’t comp the meal either.”

The server shook his head. “Sorry. All I can do is tell you to please tell everyone that we’re not worth eating at and that way it can close faster.”

Beau narrowed his eyes at the server. “The owner’s your father, isn’t it?”

The server shrugged, sighed, and nodded. “Yeah.”

“Christ.” Beau rubbed his face, then reached back to grab his wallet from his pocket. “What’s the total?”

Y/N quirked a brow at Beau, surprised. The server quoted the estimated cost, and then did a double-take when Beau dropped twice the amount. Even Y/N wasn’t sure how to take it. Beau divided it in half and shoved it to the server.

“Your tip.”

“But… I did a shitty job.”

“Language.” Beau slid out of the booth and offered his hand to Y/N. She took it after a second to realize what he was doing. “Yeah, you did a shitty job, but you had a problem ya couldn’t do much about. Look for another job before your father kills this place. But do me one favor.”

“Uh, yeah, anything,” the server said, still astonished.

“The job may be crappy but don’t half-ass it.” Beau stopped when he realized he used bad language, gave up, and kept going. “Dedicate yourself to it. Nobody deserves bad service off the bat. Don’t take abuse, sure, but don’t give bad service.”

Y/N slid a look at Beau, thoughtful. He still had her hand in his and seemingly didn’t realize he was still holding it.

The server stared at Beau, then nodded. “Yeah… yeah.”

Beau led the way back to the truck. He waited until they exited the restaurant before letting out a huff. “Well, that was a waste. I’m sorry, darlin’.”

“What? Why?” She paused, then added teasingly, “Are you the father, Beau?”

He snorted and laughed. “No. I just… it felt like a whole damned waste.”

“I don’t agree.”

He stopped and looked down at her. There was a faint smile on her face that had him pausing. With the moonlight silvering her hair, she looked almost ethereal. “You surprise me, darlin’.”

“Not many people would actually pay such a nice tip after bad service and a bad meal,” she said. “And you gave good advice on top of it. That’s rather admirable.”

He lightly touched her cheek. “May I kiss you, darlin’?” She barely said ‘yes’ before his mouth was on hers, capturing her lips in a slow, sweet kiss. She began to return it, sliding a hand up his chest. He felt her warmth, and deepened the kiss for a moment. It was tempting, God, to go even further. In the truck. In the parking lot. Slowly, he broke it, and let out a breath.

“No offense, Beau,” she whispered, “but your breath stinks.”

Beau chuckled. “Yeah, yours didn’t taste that good either.”

“That food was really awful,” she said with a laugh. “Never again.”

“Definitely not. You’d do better with me cookin’ dinner, and Emily says my steaks are like rubber.”

Y/N laughed. “I may want to try them one day.”

Beau smiled. “Despite this being a bad first date… you wanna try again?”

“A do-over,” she agreed. “And it wasn’t a bad date, Beau. The food might’ve been awful, but everything else? Fantastic.”

He walked her back to the truck, and they spent the drive back to her home—with a detour to McDonald’s, sorry Mama Arlen—in easy conversation. He gave her another kiss at her door, and felt as though he floated on Cloud Nine.

Bad first date. Great girl.

Tag List:

@spxideyver, @deadlymistletoe, @bitchykittenconnoisseur, @aarpfashionvictim, @stoneyggirl2

@foxyjwls007, @katastrophicmind, @globetrotter28, @deansimpalababy, @daisychaingirl @nancymcl @deans-baby-momma

[moralesluvr]

can you do earth 42!miles x reader where reader owns a small business and he shows constant support and always promotes her business?🩷

earth42!miles morales ft. his small business owning gf!

♡ pairings & aus: miles morales x fem!black!reader, aged up au for plot. ♡ warnings: none! ♡ summary: miles comes out to one of your pop-ups to support you <3 ♡ a/n: thank you anon for your request <3 ♡ got a request? | masterlist ♡

NEW YORK'S SUMMER AIR blew past you in a warm wave, the sweltering heat causing you to bend down behind your stand, propping your cooler open as your hands wrapped around a bottle of water. It was so hot that you bit the top off your cool beverage in attempt to drink it as fast as you can, lips wrapping around the opening as you gulped it down quickly.

"Y'know I could've brought you sum' cool to drink, right?"

You turned around to see your boyfriend, who walked underneath your tent, making his way to you as he opened his arms for you to embrace yourself in. You did so with glee, pressing up to your tip toes as you kissed his cheek, "What are you doing here? I thought you had to work!"

"Nah," he shook his head, walking around to your table out front as he picked up various items that you had for sale, "Not today, wanted t'see my girl come make her bank."

A smile found your lips as Miles continued to curiously look around your set up. It was a place where business owners could set up and advertise, so lots of people were setting up shop in the grass as people shopped around.

Your small business had kicked off just a couple months ago, but Miles was there every step of the way. You sold various items-- candles, lip gloss, perfume, body butter-- and accessories for your fellow black girls. Although he didn't really need what you were selling, Miles always helped you find new scents or flavors for your things, and he would always let you try them out on him, despite the level of embarrassment he carried with him after the fact.

Last time, you had convinced Miles to let you try out your lashes and new lip gloss on him, which resulted in him clawing the lashes off, claiming that they itched too bad and he 'couldn't even blink.'

He's just a drama queen.

As Miles walked around picking up things, you saw three black girls come in, who looked about your age, maybe younger. They eagerly picked up your items on display as you welcomed them in with bright smiles. One of the girls picked up two candles and some colorful edge brushes, waltzing up to the counter as her friends continued to browse.

You eyed your boyfriend, realizing that he was showing them around and giving them little insights on your product. It melted your heart, eyes still fixated on him as you rang the girl in front of you up. As she handed you her card, she asked you, "Is that your man?"

"Sure is." You gleamed proudly, "He likes t'pop in sometimes and help me out."

The girl watched you intensively as you transferred her items into a cute bright pink bag with your logo on it, a bag that your boyfriend had helped you design one Saturday night when you were sleeping over at his place.

"I wish somebody loved me like that," She murmured, smiling as you handed her the bag and her credit card, "Keep him, girl, 'cause you ain't gon' find nobody else that'll do that for you."

You both giggled at her statement, though nothing but truth was laced in it. You bid her a farewell as she walked out, her girlfriends still shopping around for some items. Your boyfriend departed from them and slid behind the counter, leaning on it as she sighed.

"Girl, I've been workin' so hard tryna find them what they lookin' for. It really is a struggle."

"Ew, you're so gross." You pushed him as he laughed at his impression of you when you're working. Miles grabbed your hand and squeezed it, a smile etched on his face as he spoke, "I'm so proud'a you, mami. You knew all this was gon' be a lil' challenging, but look where you at. That's my girl." He encouraged, giving you a sweet kiss on your cheek.

"I love you," you smiled as you felt Miles pepper more loving kisses on your cheek, holding your waist close to him as you arched your back in his embrace, squealing at him.

Your playful bantering came to a stop with the two remaining women in your shop placed their items on the counter. You greeted them and rung them up, your lover behind you watching closely. You quickly bagged their items and thanked them for supporting you, and they left you a gracious tip as they walked out. You held up the bill, "Big ballin'."

"Damn right." Miles laughed, high fiving you as he held onto your hand, looking around before whispering,

"Let's dip and go get lunch."

You eyed your shop before giving him a raised eyebrow, "What if someone comes by? Or steals?"

He rolled his eyes at you, grabbing his car keys from the table as he wrapped his arms around your waist, closing the tent and walking to his car.

"Then I'll beat their ass. Now, let's go eat."

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦 ☻ thank you for reading!

𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐑-𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐄 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓🕷️: @queenesther996 // @c3f21 // @wydney // @rinnyisnothere // @brieryann // @moisttowllet // @Dee-m-cee // @liliummz // @starhrtz // @daisydark // @randomhoex // @solanawrld // @whore4hobie // @tanakaslastbraincell // @simp4miguell // @nyrovi3 // @my3tumbles // @aziulsworld // @enchantingfoxsparkles // @mancerseedu // @cafehyunji // @personofyou // @mcdvsr // @kopiivie // @ellatienesuscosas // @venuswash3re // @calliarlerte // @pr0wlerpunk // @tzuyuzzs // @wisepoetrycheesecake // @clearskiiiess // @d3atht3hek1d // @vienreina // @pixqlsin // @caulifloweron // @aizawassimpblog // @stvrgrl // @zerosinterweb // @ishqani // @mookiebut // @urmotherswhor3 // @cumbermovels // @asmobeuses // @yanghees // @popeheywardssecretgf // @mxspiderman2099 // @1lenii // @scryarchives // @rksses // @rosvlsr // @mmst4rz

𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐒 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐒 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ✎: @Dee-m-cee // @euphorichappiness10 // @adoree-kaelynn // @mhadnirb // @mmst4rz // @iris-theflower // @fleurrieerecs // @kenlani // @kala2022 // @ilyless // @milesmolasses // @laylasbunbunny // @all444miles // @thecoloredpages // @bl00dsuccker // @evacowan // @popeheywardssecretgf // @adoremvney // @anikaluv // @qtdenks

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @enj4i // @chrissytalia // @chaoticevilbakugo // @motheroffae // @luci1fer // @art-598

[mistymisfit]

So long, Marianne II

Summary: Reader is a spy working undercover in Gotham when she meets Jason Todd, who despite her better judgement she forms a very close friendship with. This story follows their escape from Arkham asylum, their fall out and the times they run into each other as they get older.

Relationship: AK!Jason x Meta!Fem!Reader

Warnings: Graphic descriptions of violence (I'm serious, tho- in canon it's also pretty violent), angst, hurt/no comfort (for now), this series is just my excuse to write angst lol.> copied from first part but this one's more tame i think. + Fluff if you squint.

Word Count: 3k (a bit more but who cares)

Read on AO3

Part 1- Masterlist

See the end for author's notes :)

You spent hours by his side when he was unconscious, door locked from the inside just in case and extra security measures just for him. All this despite knowing you should be safe, technically-- but you still didn't trust the very people who handled your life. At one point you feel bold enough to hold his hand but it doesn't last long since you wouldn't want him to be uncomfortable if he woke up then. It was already hard enough as it was, him being mad at you and all. You stared at him, you couldn't help it since he finally looked peaceful. Your mind wandered, you couldn't believe this was the same boy who kissed you on a random rooftop overlooking the city. "Looks beautiful from up here, you can't even tell all the crime going on down there" you had said that night. He had been waiting for an opening for more nights than he'd be willing to admit. He started to bring you to rooftops and high places more often with that intention, showing you the view and to kiss you; he'd been meaning to do that for longer than that too. Your feet dangled in the air, you were both sitting on the ledge of the building and he watched you smile.

God, he thought, if I keep staring she's gonna think I'm weird. Unable to stop himself from overthinking this any longer he just went for it, the gloved hand on your cheek and his lips on yours moved so fast you didn't even have time to realize what was happening. You thought it was cute how awkward he was about it, so when he pulled after just a few seconds you giggled. Before he separated from you, you put a hand on top of the one that rested on your face and told him "Wait, do it again". Soon the kissing grew into something less than giggles and giddiness and more into needing the other like the air to breathe, and when his hands threatened to trail lower on your back you heard a cough behind you. You remembered how mortified you felt when you saw Batman himself standing behind you. Those days were way past behind you now, he wasn't the same boy as then, he had been through too much since your rooftop kissing days.

It also upset you greatly to think about how betrayed he must feel right now. First his mentor replaces him and now he finds out you've been lying to him, both things he knows thanks to the man who had been torturing him. You were mad at him too at the time, even going as far as taking it out on the new guy a couple times-- and on an eventful night on Nightwing too. You were mean to the new boy wonder, even if he tried being friendly you'd cut him off, huffing and leaving on a good day--and cussing and yelling at him on a bad one. And that night was a bad one, one of the worst, you were supposed to plant a tracker on some Russian mobster's smuggling ship. Which was going well until a few masked vigilantes decided to show up, he blew it up. He ruined your mission and the worst part was you couldn't even blame him for it because you would have done the same if you could. You didn't even take cover, you didn't have time but he pushed you to the floor and covered you with his cape to protect you from the rubble. Quickly getting up he offered you a hand when you were on the floor from the explosion and still a bit in shock but you just grunted and got up on your own. You heard him sigh behind you as you started to focus on healing the bruises and cuts scattered over your body. "You know, you could at least be polite to me, I'm not asking you to be friends", he told you finally fed up with your attitude towards him. "Fuck you" you replied shortly and heard him scoff before saying "I just saved you". He recriminated, as if you owed him anything for that. He could've just let you die and you would have been more grateful. You glared at him and announced loudly that you were leaving, he grabbed your wrist and only got to say the word hey before you interrupted him. "I could make your heart stop right now," you threatened "I should make you drop dead on your feet". "Do it, see how it ends for you, hunted down by Batman", he taunted and you replied "Let him, I should've killed him long ago".

And then Nightwing swooped in to stop the argument from turning physical, he asked-ordered-- Robin to let you go and he listened. You were almost out of earshot when you heard "Just forget it man, the suit doesn't come with the girlfriend", everything stopped. Literally, your emotions got the best of you and you stopped time. Everything froze, you don't how far but blinded by rage you walked back, took one the sticks from his back and tased Nightwing with his own weapon. Time moved again, and the older one fell to the floor. Robin just looked at you in shock, when? how did you do that? His eyes went to his brother, groaning in pain and then back to you, throwing the escrima stick back to its owner, coldly calculated to be just right out of his reach. "the suit doesn't come with the girlfriend" you mocked in a childish tone, completely contradictory to your violent actions at the moment when you pushed your boot to his neck. You thought it was a shame since you actually liked him, you thought he was more reasonable than Batman. Robin tried to stop you, to no avail since you hit him right in the neck with your elbow without looking back. It felt almost like you had eyes on your back. He coughed, getting the air inside his lungs again. And in their confusion you pulled out a gun, aimed at Robin so he had no choice but to stay back.

"Marianne, stop" You looked back at him, standing tall and menacing, the man himself calling you by your supposed real name, the name he wasn't supposed to know. You weren't scared of him, in fact you looked at him and pushed in harder, cutting his airflow like you were taught. You could feel his hands weakly trying to pull you away, somehow whatever humanity was left in you was stuffed away in the furthest corner of your mind. He shoot a batarang that landed on your leg, it hurt yet you didn't flinch as the blood pours down, you double down by pulling the safety trigger off without breaking eye contact. "You wouldn't kill them" He spoke, his voice almost like a growl mean to scare you. You scoffed and told him he didn't know shit about you, he really didn't but what you didn't expect was him stating things you had only told Jason. "You're religious and you pray for your missing sister. Do you think your God would allow this?", the shock made you loosen your grip and the man under your foot managed to free himself and gasped for air. "Honestly, God and you both can go fuck yourselves" you bit back, before taking the weapon out of your skin, finally allowing to heal your wound. You shot it back at him, right in his shoulder, the weak point. "Leave," he ordered "I'll handle her". It was quite impressive how spot on your aim was on your non dominant hand but also unexpected, you were breaking your cover. He let you land a few hits, you knew he was letting you win a bit. But soon the cussing turned into silent sobs, "I hate you" you cried, a fist weakly hitting his armor-covered chest. "How could you?" You sniffed and he patted your back in an effort to comfort you.

Eventually you fell asleep, sitting on a chair with your head resting on the bed in front of you. The first thought he has when he wakes up is how stupid it all was; that he felt so angry at you yet he couldn't help but find your sleeping face adorable. He will wake you up so you can give him some answers but right now he can indulge himself, tucking your hair behind your ear so he can see you better. Feeling your hair now soft and clean and how free of wounds you looked, he marveled at how you seemed healthy again. This wasn't the first time he watched you sleep, there was that time he was injured and he hadn't seen you all night. He thought maybe you stayed home--you did, you only left at night when you had a mission and that night you hadn't. When he got to your building and saw you in your room he waited, you were praying. He didn't know you were religious at all, he never asked either. So he sat in quiet on the emergency stairs, in pain until you finished. Out of respect for your faith, and you, he wouldn't interrupt that.

He finally knocked on your window after he saw you sitting at your desk, papers scattered all over it. You turned to were the noise came from and when you saw him, you quickly gathered everything on your desk to hide before even letting him in. "Hey, what were you doing?" He asked, holding his side where it hurt, probably a broken rib he thought. "Studying, I have a test tomorrow" you lied, helping him in and guiding him to sit on your bed. "Think I broke a rib" he grunted, lifting his hand so you could help him get his armor off. His eyes went from the bruise on his side to you as you healed him, sight fixed on your focused expression as the pain left. "Feel any better?" you gave him a smile and he just wanted to kiss you senseless right then. "Yeah, thanks" he wanted to spend more time with you, he was trying to find any excuse to stay before you handed back his clothes. "So, uhm, are your parents here?", you shook your head no saying they were out on some business trip. "How long were you at my window?", fuck he got caught, he replied "a while" in a weak and embarrassed tone.

He noticed the jewelry you wore, that you probably left at home to avoid being recognized. The earrings, the watch, and the dainty chain you had. He took the last one in his between his fingers, playing with the pendant and asking you about it. "I'm not really- my mom believed in this more than me" you explained, "but I do it to feel closer to her". He appreciated the vulnerability you were showing then, you had told him that your parents died in a car accident--lie-- and you were adopted. You never really talked about your biological parents until now. He let go of your pendant to hold your hand, you were sitting next to each other in your bed, awfully close to the point his leg was pushed to yours next to it. "I don't wanna talk about it," you started "are going to kiss me like the other night?". You were looking up at him through your lashes, giving him a look he just couldn't say no to. He knew you said that to distract him, but he would be damned if it wasn't working. Your hands worked on taking his utility belt off, and he let you take his weapons from him, he allowed himself to be vulnerable around you to let his guard down. How could he not when you were asking him so nicely to stay for a little longer? Later that night Jason ended up falling asleep with you in his arms after you did, because moving would've meant waking you up and he'd never do that, he stayed for hours like a cat owner watching their pet sleep on their lap. But still woke up to Bruce waiting for him in the alley that your window faced, ready to tell him all about how irresponsible he had been. You were wearing the same jewelry right now, as you sleep but your relationship wasn't the same as it was then. He wondered how much of what you told him that night was true.

He decides he's had enough of going down memory lane and puts a hand on your shoulder, gently but firmly shaking you so you will wake up. It doesn't take much effort since you were already on edge and too nervous when you passed out next to him. Your head quickly jerks up in an almost painful motion that wouldn't surprise him if you got whiplash.

"You're awake" you whisper, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes.

"Hm, thanks" He replies through gritted teeth and you know this is the nicest thing you'd get from him in this situation. "Where are we?"

"A safe house in Chicago, you've been out for a while" You explain, and your eyes follow him sitting up on the bed and yanking the iv off his arm. He's getting ready to leave, you thought. "Are you okay? Do you want me to get rid of that scar for you?"

"Leave it, I don't want you anywhere close to me" He swats off the hand you had close to his face. He turns his back to you, putting on the shoes you left for him. It made you feel pathetic, you've done so much for him knowing he may never forgive you. And yet you were ready to screw yourself even more to help him.

"I'm sorry, I swear I was going to tell you"

"When? You lied to me about everything," He turns to see you over his shoulder when he says that, just to look you in the eye and gauge at your reaction. He had a right to be angry, but you still couldn't help the tears that started to form in your eyes "How can I trust you? I don't even know your name"

Jason was just being mean, he knew you saved him and helped him escape. He was expressing himself with anger since it was easier to acknowledge than what he really felt, scared and sad. Anger he could manage, he could make himself out to be violent and scary. But his own fear, his own sadness and recognizing how lonely he felt finding out the person he trusted the most lied to him, that he could not manage.

"Jason-" Your tone was weak, you didn't want to speak if you knew your voice was going to break mid sentence. But you couldn't let him think those horrible things about you "most of what I told you is true"

"Like what? Bet your parents didn't even die in a car accident, and you don't even have a sister" Jason yells. He nailed it, you didn't know how they died, you just knew they were dead and for your sister... you did have one, but for her safety you shouldn't have been stupid enough to tell him.

"They are dead," You suddenly feel small, like that little girl being violently trained all over again.

"Where's the exit?" He coldly asks, standing up and ready to leave through that door. You knew if he left it'd be the last time you see him, so you had to stop him. Moving faster than him, you put your back on the door and face him.

"I'll tell you everything, just please wait" You beg, holding his gaze and trying to decipher his thoughts to no success, his expression was stone-cold. All you could get from him is knowing how furious he was.

"How much of it was a lie?" He questions again. "Did you even mean it when you said you loved me?"

"Of course I love you!" Now you were starting to get pissed off too. Was he so blind he couldn't tell that? He didn't get it from ruining your mission just to save his life? Was his head that thick that stopping the bleeding from his wound until you were over-using your powers meant nothing?

"Then leave with me" The offer takes you by surprise, and your expression softens. Your brows relax until you're not furrowing them any more, and your lips part in a gasp. What? He was so cold and now he wants you to run away with him "Help me kill him"

"I can't" You turn your face to the side to avoid his eyes, to avoid looking at him if it meant seeing him mad at you again. You were not a spy out of your free will, they had something on you. And with your power you were too much valuable of an asset to be lost. Though you couldn't tell him that, that was the one thing you were willing to keep from him. The only thing you held as dear as him in your heart, sometimes even more so than him.

"Give me a reason" He demands, hovering over you and putting an arm on the door to cage you in.

"I can't tell you" You whisper, unable to look him in the eye.

"Of course," Jason scoffs and takes a step back, he couldn't believe he was foolish enough for one second to believe that you'd say yes "you'll never change"

"You're being mean," You sniff and wipe off the tears from your face as fast as you can. Then you put your hand in one of your pockets, looking for something. You push the credit card to his chest, pushing him in the process. He lets it fall to the ground, not reacting "take it, you have about 48 hours before they notice"

You unlock the door before stepping away from it, pushing him out of your way to reach for the duffle bag on the floor. You throw it at him, now you were angry too. Your patience grew thin, you were as understanding as you could and this is how he pays you, not extending the same courtesy, being selfish. You understood he had been rotting in that Arkham wing for a year but you were there too, he didn't have the monopoly on suffering. All Jason could think about was how he felt, what was done to him, not considering for a second what was done for him. Read, you risking your own neck for him. And now you were tired of it, he wanted to leave you? Then he could be your guest.

"This is for you too, no trackers I made sure of it" He stands quiet as you open the door "Door is right this way"

You lead him to the exit of the apartment, disabling all security measures on your way. He doesn't get the sudden change of attitude, of course he liked it better when you were low energy, just apologizing to him. He knows he must've pushed a button to have irritated you this much. Whatever the reason was for you to stay on this life must clearly be important to you, at least that is what he thinks pissed you off. A reason bigger than your love for him. The love that he kept questioning, yeah he deserved to be kicked out like that. He watched you hesitate to open the front door, and he understood too that when he walked out there was no turning back. "And Jason?" He turns to see you and you whisper your name. The real name your parents gave you for the first time in years. And he remembers it, your voice repeats it over and over again in his head. Cute name, he thought. It belonged to you, not your bosses, not your agency, it was yours and about one of the very few things you owned. And he knew, you finally told him even when you shouldn't have. Even when you were specifically instructed not to do that. But it doesn't matter even if it was the last time you saw him, you wanted him to know. He had to know. Only a few minutes after he leaves you allow yourself to break down, letting the tears fall as much as they please. Because you knew you had to be over it by tomorrow, that you have to leave it behind you forever.

A/N: hi, idk when will I post part 3 but just know it's in the works 🫡🫡.

[geekedoutbunny]

Macaque x Former Nun! Reader - The Aftermath

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Macaque x Former Nun! Reader - The Aftermath

Paring: Macaque x Former Nun! Reader

Rating: Rated M

Warning: Angst, Death, Murder, Insanity, Mention of attempted rape, religion

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Tag List: @wife-of-magic-monkeys

You walked carefully through the debris of the burnt-down church you once called home. Your eyes held sadness as many memories flashed through your mind as you recognized burnt and destroyed items. You paused when you saw a toy. It was a cute little tiger, and it made your heart clench.

You knew the little boy who owned the toy, he was the sweetest little guy you ever met. Always smiling, always ready to help and play, he was so adorable. You crouched down to pick up the ash-covered toy, you stared down at it sadly as you gently caressed the head.

"Please, please tell me you got out." You whispered as you held the dusty toy close to you. You looked up, your eyes scanning the black burnt wood and grass, it was surreal. You stood up and you sighed.

Macaque walked through the mess with a careless stare, he had no ties to the place, and in all honesty, he was kind of glad the place was burnt down. He stopped, an impassive look on his face as he stared down at the spot. He mentally congratulated the nun that was allegedly the cause of this all. Apparently, she was tired of the lies and the deception.

Her last straw was when the priest tried to force himself on her while using Mother Mary's name to lure her in, and in retaliation for her reality crumbling so fast before her, she went through the place, stabbed her roommate to death, snapped some kids neck, plucked another kids eye out, threw a nun over the balcony of the stairs, and then she brunt the church down.

It was a casual case of insanity, and he honestly couldn't blame her. Too bad she died in the fire, it's strange that they found her in the praying position at the altar, it seems that before she died she came back to her senses and did the only thing she knew how to do. But he was pretty convinced that she was down in the underworld.

He looked around at the destruction, and he hummed lightly in thought before he walked off. Where he was standing before, was a clean spot of unburnt wood in an oval shape. "Mother Mary sure isn't real, but she was praying to something." He muttered as he walked over towards you.

You haven't moved much since you found the toy tiger, he approached you quietly, but he made sure to make his footsteps audible. You didn't look around to look at him, but he knew you were aware of him. "This is awful." You whispered. He hummed in response as he came to a stop a few steps behind you.

Unshead tears in your eyes as you squeeze the toy to your chest, the ash rubbing on your arms and clothes, but you don't care. You sniffled for a bit before you turned around to face him. The impassive look on his face spoke volumes, and you had nothing against it. It wasn't like he grew up here, so of course he wouldn't care as much as you did.

"Why? Why did she do it? Why didn't she just leave, like I did?" You asked him, and your throat felt tight. The wind blew past you both lightly. "Because she didn't have an escape like you did. You had me, she had nothing. The very thing she believed in, that she held onto with all her heart, was suddenly ripped from her in an instant. She had a very harsh reality check, that her whole world was an entire lie"

He explained. You stared at him for a while longer, thinking over his words. "If she did... do you think she would've still done it?" You asked. He shrugged before he looked down at the toy in your arms. "It's hard to say, but these people would've all still died either way." He said. You shook your head. "No!! They only died because... because she couldn't handle it." You said in a light voice.

He sighed. "Listen, everyone has a set date when they die, it's in the book of Death, you have a time and a date. No matter what happens, no matter where you go, you are due to die at that date and time. There is no changing it." He explained. You didn't want to believe it, you didn't want to listen, but you couldn't argue with him. He was always right.

You looked down with a sad stare, he stared at you for a while before he approached you. He placed a hand on the small of your back, pulling you with him. "Come on, let's get out of here before you catch something from the ashes." He said gently as he pulled you along with him. You walked with him for a while, letting him guide you out of the debris.

As soon as your feet touch the grass, you turn around. "Wait, I need to pray for them." You said gently. He stared at you with a pensive stare, for he pulled back from you. You sighed as you got down on your knees. You gently placed the toy down on the grass next to you, Macaque stared at the toy with a tense stare.

You clasped your hands together, and you bowed your head. "Mother Mary... it's been a while since I spoke to you... and I'm sad to say that this'll be my last prayer to you... I ask you to help guide these lost souls in the promised land and lead them to endless happiness. Lead them to fulfillment... please watch over all my former sisters and the children... I hope that their souls are not bound to this world, help them to see the light, and guide them down the path of righteousness. In the name of Mother Mary, Brother Joseph, and the holy child that is Jesus Christ, Amen."

You took a breath as you slowly opened your eyes. You stared at the burned ruins, and you gripped your hands tighter together as your eyes closed tight. Your breath shudders, and your shoulders shake as you silently cry. Macaque waited patiently for you to get your tears out. It took you about 10 minutes, you were grateful for him.

Once your tears had dried, you picked up the toy, and you stood up. You walked over towards Macaque, a small smile on your face. "Ready?" He asked. You nodded. "Yeah." You said your voice was small but strong. He nodded in return as he took your free hand in his. You both walked for a while silently, a strange sense of peace befallen you.

"Macaque?" You questioned. He hummed in response. "Do you think that Charles is out there somewhere?" You asked. He looked over at you, seeing a gesture towards the toy. He stared at the toy for a while before he looked off. "Maybe." He simply said it was a neutral answer, but it was still enough to make you smile, it gave you hope.

'I hate lying to you, but if I told you the truth, it'll probably kill you.' Macaque thought as he stared back over at the toy. 'Charles was the kid who got his neck snapped. One day, I'll tell you the truth, until then, I just want to see you smile again.'

[hanakoofthejungle]

HuskerDust Sinatra playlist (to be updated)

Given Husk and Angel's time when they were alive, Sinatra's songs would no doubt fall into their mutual category of favorites. I believe Angel would very much like Sinatra's crooning considering Sinatra's melancholy voice, him being also Italian and having alleged connection to the Italian mob. Husk spent so much time in casinos so surely he knew all of these songs like the back of his hand.

Below are the songs that I find would fit well into their inner thoughts and stages of their relationship. When Sinatra sang, he didn't just sing a song, he was telling us something from his heart which I imagine is what Husk wanted to say to Angel and vice versa (and there are duets :))). You will see that Husk was allocated more songs than Angel. This is because I firmly believe Husk is the more sappy and sentimental one in the relationship.

Who knows :)) these songs might inspire some fanfictions. Whatever you imagine, Sinatra can provide :)))

One song might have different version sung by Sinatra. The ones listed here are the most fitting in my opinion. These are all youtube links because some came from nice musical films/music shows and some aren't available on spotify.

The pining stage (sprinkled with some self-loathing/insecurity in case they didn't think their feelings were mutual)

Husk

These Foolish Things (Remind Me of You)

These foolish things remind me of you You came you saw you conquer'd me When you did that to me I knew somehow this had to be

It could Happen to You

All I did was wonder How your arms would be And it happened to me

Half As Lovely (Twice As True) (or Husk's insecurity about himself being just a washed-up drunk while Angel could have anyone he wants, also mention of Angel's facade. This is the perfect song :))))

I'm only one of those who thinks of you and sighs, Just another who knows your laughter and lies. I wish that you were someone who was half as lovely, twice as true. I love you, I love you, too much it seems, for any fool can see, With your heart so crowded with other dreams, how can you dream of me?

Bewitched

I'm wild again, beguiled again A simpering, whimpering child again Bewitched, bothered, and bewildered am I Couldn't sleep, wouldn't sleep Then love came and told me I shouldn't sleep Bewitched, bothered, and bewildered am I Lost my heart, but what of it?

Angel

I Don't Know Why (I Just Do)

You never seem to want my romancing The only time you hold me Is when we're dancing I don't know why I love you like I do I don't know why, but I do

I fall in love too easily (This fits Angel so well)

I fall in love too easily, I fall in love too fast I fall in love too terribly hard, for love to ever last My heart should be well schooled, 'cause I've been fooled in the past And still I fall in love too easily, I fall in love too fast

Glad to be unhappy

Unrequited love's a bore And I've got it pretty bad But for someone you adore It's a pleasure to be sad

Prisoner of Love

Alone from night to night You'll find me too weak to break the chains that bind me. I need no shackles to remind me, I'm just a prisoner of love.

The confessing stage

Husk

Zing! Went The Strings Of My Heart

Dear when you smiled at me I heard a melody It haunted me from the start Something inside of me, started a symphony Zing! Went the strings of my heart

Then Suddenly Love (I can imagine Angel kick the door open :)))

I never heard bluebirds, the songs that they sing, I never get crazy, not even in spring, Then suddenly love struck me like lightning, Love it blew up a storm, Love suddenly grabbed me, and ooh, was it cozy and warm 'Cause I found you, now I no longer just exist, Ooh, what a change, it started from the time we kissed

Angel

I Get a Kick out of You

Some they may go for a cocaine I'm sure that if I took even one sniff It would bore me terrifically too Yet I get a kick out of you

I've Never been in Love before

I'm full of foolish songs And out my song must pour So please forgive this helpless haze I'm in I've really never been in love before

Husk and Angel

You're Awful (A silly duet confession of love :)))

Husk: Those words that everyone knows But my thoughts gets mangled, And all the words get tangled, But since you asked me, here goes: You're awful, awful good to look at, Awful nice to be with, awful sweet to have and hold. You're nothing, nothing if not lovely, Nothing if not dazzling, nothing but pure gold, You're frightening, frightening me when you say That you might go away, You're boring, boring into my heart to stay. You're cheap, dear, cheap at any price, dear, Cheap for such a diamond, Cheap for such a pearl, What I said before, I'll say again, You're awful, awful nice to be my girl. Angel: You're old, dear, old with worldly wisdom, Old like Gorgonzola, old like finest French champagne, You're so-so, so-so, so-so kinda charming, So-so kind of witty, so I can't explain, Husk: Can't stand you, I can't stand you giving some fellow the eye, Can't stand you in the arms of another guy, Who needs you? Need you to distraction, Need you too this crazy, need you rain or shine, Both: I'm the one who needs you, And I think you're awful, awful nice to say you're mine.

The dating/domestic bliss stage (sprinkled with some angst/couple fights)

Husk

[How Little It Matters] How Little We Know

Who cares to define what chemistry this is? Who cares, with your lips on mine, how ignorant bliss is? So long as you kiss me, and the world around us shatters, How little it matters, how little we know.

I Could Write A Book

If they ask me, I could write a book About the way you walk and whisper and look I could write a preface on how we met So the world would never forget And the simple secret of the plot Is just to tell them that I love you a lot Then the world discovers as my book ends How to make two lovers of friends

That Old Black Magic

Those icy fingers up and down my spine The same old witchcraft when your eyes meet mine The same old tingle that I feel inside And then that elevator starts its ride And down and down, I go 'Round and 'round, I go Like a leaf that's caught in the tide

Too Marvelous for Words

You're much, too much, and just too very very To ever be in Webster's dictionary And so I'm borrowing a love song from the birds To tell you that you're marvelous Too marvelous for words

Polka Dots And Moonbeams

In my frightened arms, polka dots and moonbeams Sparkled on a pug-nosed dream There were questions in the eyes of other dancers As we floated over the floor There were questions but my heart knew all the answers And perhaps a few things more Now in a cottage built of lilacs and laughter I know the meaning of the words? Ever after? And I'll always see polka dots and moonbeams When I kiss the pug-nosed dream

Witchcraft

'Cause it's witchcraft, wicked witchcraft And although, I know, it's strictly taboo When you arouse the need in my My heart says yes indeed in me Proceed with what your leading me to It's such an ancient pitch But one I wouldn't switch 'Cause there's no nicer witch than you

Dear Heart (Husk waited for Angel to come home from work)

Dear heart, wish you were here to warm this night My dear heart, it seems like a year since you've been out of my sight A single room, a table for one It's a lonesome town all right But soon I'll kiss you hello at our front door And dear heart, I want you to know I'll leave your arms never more

Husk and Angel

We Just Couldn't Say Goodbye

We thought that love was over, that we were really through, I said I didn't love her, that we'd begin anew, And you can all believe me, we sure intended to, But we just couldn't say goodbye. The chair and then the sofa, they broke right down and cried, The curtain started waving for me to come inside. I tell you confident'a'lly the tears were hard to hide, And we just couldn't say goodbye. The clock was striking twelve o'clock, it smiled on us below, With folded hands, it seemed to say, we'll miss you if you go. So I went back and kissed her and when I looked around, The room was singing love songs and dancing up and down. Now we're both so happy because at last we've found That we just couldn't say goodbye.

Kisses and Tears

Kisses and tears, it's up to you If we laugh or we cry through the years Unless you trust me, whenever a doubt appears Your future with me will continue to be kisses and tears You're crying again, you're sighing again Can't we patch it up this time? I guess it's alright, we've finished our fight It's just about kiss-time

Nothing in Common

Our two goals are apart as the poles are As lovers our roles are completely miscast Let's make a clean break And not take any chances 'Cause outside of thinking you're something divine And outside of wanting your lips close to mine We've got nothin' in common We've got nothin' in common at all

How Are Ya Fixed for Love

How are ya fixed for someone to watch the rain with? To stroll down the line with? For someone to just go a little insane with? How are you fixed for memories? Memories that shine so bright? If we let fancy take us We could make us a few tonight How are ya' fixed for someone who'll fit your arms like a glove? Hey, tell me baby, how are ya' fixed for love?

Bonus: Sinatra's Loser, baby a.k.a Here's To The Losers

Here's the last toast of the evening, here's to those who still believe All the losers will be winners, all the givers shall receive Here's to trouble-free tomorrows, may your sorrows all be small Here's to the losers, here's to the losers, here's to the losers Bless them all!

[being-of-rain]

Long ago, in the Dark Times of Ancient Gallifrey (aka 2022), I watched all of Classic Doctor Who in one year, and I planned to write my thoughts on every story here on my blog. And I almost did it. I ended 2022 with only the Seventh Doctor’s three seasons left to write about. I decided to take a bit of a break, and a few months later I wrote up my thoughts on season 24. Then I had an accident while doing some stellar manipulating and fell into a black hole.

But it definitely says something about me that more than a year later, I still had the project in the back of my mind, thinking that I should complete it sometime. So I’ve gone back to the Seventh Doctor’s TV run (which I’m always happy to do) and, just a little late, here’s my rambling thoughts on season 25.

You can never trust conventional fandom wisdom. Knowing that, I went into Remembrance of the Daleks with an open mind because this was the first time I'd watched it. But I think maybe more than any other Classic Who story, conventional wisdom was right on this one! Remembrance of the Daleks is fucking fantastic. It easily and immediately became one of my favourite Classic Who Dalek stories, and probably one of my favourite Dalek stories in general.

It's possibly one of the fastest paced Classic Who stories (without being too fast paced), and it fills its four episodes perfectly. It was a natural choice for me to show to some friends who are New Who fans. There’s a lot of action, while also not feeling too repetitive and still having moments to breathe. The introduction to Seven's darker, moodier, and more mysterious side is stellar (pun not intended but appreciated). I also think it’s an introduction to a sub-genre of Seven stories, which is 'Seven wanders from scene to scene doing random things and is the only one who fully knows what's going on,' and I think it's maybe the most successful execution of the idea too. Because you can sort of keep track of the Doctor's plans, and when you don't know them beforehand he gives a good explanation in a relatively short time.

Anyway, I could heap compliments on the story all day, is there anything more specific for me to comment on? Yes, lots. Firstly, the Daleks themselves came with some realistic heft that felt a little more dangerous than their past few stories, which is a good precursor to New Who's terrifying series 1 Daleks. The Dalek civil war is used well, and I like how it's tied into the Daleks' sense of genetic purity. After watching Remembrance, one of my New Who friends said that they hadn't really gotten the comparisons between Daleks and Nazis until watching this. I was impressed with how Remembrance then took it a step further and directly compared Dalek racism to British racism. Realising that the man Ace had befriended was actually rotten made me feel really bad for her.

The little girl is a really creepy character, and I love her for it. One of my few irl friends who grew up with Classic Who knew this story as The One With The Creepy Kid. The trick that the person in the control was her instead of Davros was fun. Her killing of Ratcliffe was quite horrifying, but he deserved it. Ace facing off with the little girl as the Doctor faces off with the black Dalek at the end of the story made for an amazingly tense and emotional conclusion, especially with Ace immediately comforting the girl afterwards.

Ace is great in the serial in general - there was a cheer from my friends and I every time she blew up a Dalek. Though I was amused that at first the military couldn't make a dent in a Dalek but Ace's nitro-9 could blow it to smithereens. That girl is dangerous. The counter-measures team were also great, and I can see why they got a spin-off audio series. I especially enjoyed Rachel Jensen, and that time she tore into Gilmore for dragging her away from Cambridge then complaining she didn't know about aliens. Get his ass. It didn't occur to me until someone pointed it out that they're basically Brigadier and Liz Shaw stand-ins, I wonder if those characters were considered for the story before they figured out the time they wanted to set it. But it did occur to me that Jensen and Shaw could've been friends at university.

What else? When the Doctor warns Ace about future technology he basically describes the plot of Colditz; it's fun to watch Classic Who and see where EU authors might’ve got some inspiration. And naturally the Doctor gets lots of iconic lines. His muttering "it'll be twins" when told that someone is having a baby reminded me of what Eight did in the movie, telling people's futures.

So yeah, a very very good story, and a fitting 25th anniversary celebration on top of it all.

---

The Happiness Patrol is bloody brilliant. It’s one of my go-to Seventh Doctor TV stories, and it deserves it.

We’ve got the tried-and-tested Doctor Who trope of ‘weird human space colony’, and it’s blended well with emerging Seven era tropes. Ace is very much the Doctor’s protégé in this; he encourages her to come to her own conclusions, she deliberately gets arrested and annoys people to gain information, she even plays the spoons. She also insists that Ace is her real name rather than any other sort of name (another win for trans Ace) and gets assigned the same surname of the Doctor’s old Gallifreyan nickname (which is a coincidence, but a cute one). Meanwhile the Doctor himself is in full ‘planning several scenes ahead’ mode. It feels like he’s attempting some sort of speedrun for how quickly he can take down a corrupt government. As he says to Ace at the start- “We've got to put a stop to it, quickly.” “How quickly?” “Tonight.”

The setting is an interesting one. The sets may not quite have lived up to the script’s expectation; the scene with the snipers is obviously fantastic, but it’s clear the characters weren’t supposed to be quite so cramped when the Doctor beckons the soldier to come closer when he physically can’t. The city streets in particular look very much like a studio, or even a stage, which gives the story a slightly surreal tinge. I see the new special editions use CGI to give Terra Alpha a sky, which is a strange concept to me. The story itself gives the setting an unreal feeling by having almost no civilian characters who actually live in the city itself. There are glimpses of the planet’s history with its native population, outside the city walls with the illegal protestors from “the flatlands”, and offworld with the other visitors to Terra Alpha. I think the very first character to appear, who quickly becomes a victim of the happiness patrol, is the only shown human inhabitant of the city who isn’t in government or the patrol itself. I suppose this is natural enough when the whole story apparently takes place overnight- perhaps that lends itself to the surreal vibes as well. As well as the fascist vibes, keeping people off the streets. I’m not really going anywhere with all these thoughts, just thinking them.

Speaking of characters, there’s lots of great ones in this story. Susan Q makes a much better companion of the week for Ace than the nazi last story, and her story when she’s introduced about waking up one day and knowing she couldn’t go on in the world as she had been works really well (and I will read it as queer subtext if I want to). Silas P the happiness patrol’s undercover operative is particularly hateable with how sadistic he is, and it’s clear the patrol think so too with how eagerly they turn on him. That’s the thing about fascism I guess, it cannibalises itself so easily. A similar thing happens to Helen A at the story’s end. (It’s always stated that Helen is an obvious parody of Margaret Thatcher, but I’ve never known enough about Thatcher to see it myself. I saw somewhere that Dr Who audio author John Dorney also never understood how Helen A was supposed to be Thatcher, so at least it isn’t just me.)

Oh and the Kandyman! I can’t understand people who genuinely don’t like the Kandyman, or think he’s out of place. If you think he looks goofy with a stupid candy theme and outrageous colouring… you’re correct! That’s the point of the story! He fits perfectly, and he’s got some fantastic scenes too. Like when the Doctor frees him to fulfil a bargain, then immediately traps him again. And when the Doctor and Ace surround him and work together to baffle him and fight him off. His relationship with Gilbert is fun too. This watchthrough I enjoyed Gilbert’s line “Remember this Kandyman: symbiosis! You need me, and I need me!”

Anything else to say about this great story? Yeah, does the Doctor carry Fifi’s corpse and deliberately place it somewhere Helen would see it? What a guy. Oh and the TARDIS looks great pink. Blue to pink? Trans metaphor.

---

If you’re watching these stories in order, there’s a nice thematic link between The Happiness Patrol and Silver Nemesis; going from blues to jazz. Throw in Ace’s boombox from Remembrance of the Daleks and I guess that’s a season theme for her. The Doctor gets themes too; I really appreciate that the entire season went all-in on his new masterplanning & manipulative vibes …although you could almost say it works against this serial. Because it’s remarkable how similar its broad strokes are to the season’s first story - it even calls attention to the parallel itself. Which is unfortunate, because I think Remembrance did it better. Heck, it even worked better as a 25th anniversary special.

I really want to like Silver Nemesis. The idea of several groups of antagonists all fighting to get the same thing is a great set-up for an action-packed story, and indeed a great set-up for the Seventh Doctor specifically. But I think the reason it falls flat for me is that it’s not very action-packed at all. Every faction spends more time talking amongst themselves about everyone else than interacting with each other, and when there is action it’s quite often a rather dull firing at each other from a distance. Lady Peinforte in particular loses my interest when so many of her scenes feel like comedy sketches that don’t quite land for me.

Of course there’s always things that I find to enjoy. Ace and the Doctor’s relationship is always entertaining. They do another Surround And Baffle scene with the Cyber Leader, and while they do it the Doctor keeps up a running commentary like the confrontation is a chess game. As it’s the first time that chess is a theme for the Doctor who would soon become pigeonholed as The Chessmaster, it’s amusing to me that his commentary ends with “illegal move, but checkmate!”

Before this watchthrough I had totally forgotten that the Nemesis statue spoke. Its short conversations with Ace and the Doctor are some of the most interesting parts of the story for me. Certainly more interesting than the fact that it brings destruction by flying near to Earth every 25 years, which felt rather cheap. How exactly did it make Hitler annex Austria? Oh but despite the silver statue, probably the most memorable visual of the story for me is when Ace is facing off against the Cybermen in the catwalks high above the floor of a hanger. The lighting on her from below is so striking.

---

The Greatest Show in the Galaxy was categorised in my head as ‘slow and not that fun,’ but after a rewatch I think my issue with it is mostly due to its first episode. And the first episode isn’t even that bad, it just had the most amount of small things that bugged me. So I may as well get those complaints out of the way first. The Doctor and Ace not getting to the circus itself until the first cliffhanger reminded me of the Sixth Doctor’s first season, when the Doctor and Peri were regularly not even landing until a quarter of the way through the story - but the comparison is perhaps unfair. The Doctor and Ace do quite a lot in Part One, and only some of it is pointless to the story. But it doesn’t help that the quarry settings for this planet seem visually particularly dull to me. Perhaps that’s due to their contrast to the colourful circus. I mean, that might be intentional for the story’s themes… but that doesn’t make the endless grey landscapes any more interesting to look at.

Any other complaints? Some action sequences feel badly executed and part one had annoying constant cutting between scenes and locations- neither of these things are particularly rare in Classic Who, but for some reason they both bothered me in this story. Oh, and the Doctor and Ace’s dynamic for the first half hour does not gel with me. The Doctor acts less like a questionable mentor trying to get Ace to face her fears, and much more like an irritated father dragging his kid around on a day out, snapping at her and dismissing her concerns. Of those two types of assholery, one is a lot more entertaining for me to watch than the other.

Okay, that’s all for complaints. Because once I was far enough into the story, I found that I liked a lot more than I didn’t. There were some great characters, like obviously Mags- the revelation of her true nature is one of the scenes that stuck in my memory from when I watched it as a kid. But I think the real stand-outs were the villains. The Gods of Ragnarok are of course fairly iconic, a stoic family complaining about their show (really calling me out) who become literally stony-faced when watching the Doctor’s (really good!) routine.

But the more human antagonists stick with me even more. The employees of the circus- the ringmaster, fortune teller, and chief clown- put on great performances, but they’re given so much depth by the scenes where they have hurried, paranoid, private conversations with each other. You get a glimpse of the fear, greed, and old life goals that’ve led them to luring people to their deaths on Segonax. I sort of get why the story’s author would want to write a prequel about them for Big Finish. Unlike a lot of Doctor Who’s evil human accomplices, I actually felt sorry for them when the ringmaster and fortune teller got their comeuppance. As for the Chief Clown who was selling out others to save his own skin right up until the end; I don’t really have much of a fear of clowns, but he’s definitely a creepy one. The way he goes from his high-pitched care-free performing voice to his normal one is unnerving. And I don’t know why exactly it was decided that he would drive around the place in a modern black hearse, but I know it’s cool as hell.

What else? The story starting with the ringmaster’s opening spiel is neat, I love when the narrative affects its format. The fact that the Doctor couldn’t hear Mags’ scream at the end of part one is hard to believe when it has to be one of the most piercing screams in Classic Who, which is really saying something. Pity the viewer to reaches that moment with their volume turned up. The animatronic clown room is genuinely quite creepy. The moment of surreality when the Doctor and Ace enter the big top for the first time and all the circus noises they were hearing outside suddenly cut out along with all the light was super cool. I appreciate that the incredibly hateable, selfish, proud, racist ‘explorer’ is named Captain Cook. And finally, as is often the case, there’s some great dialogue throughout the show. I enjoyed the Doctor finally getting under Cook’s skin with “You're not only a scoundrel and a meddling fool, but you're also a crushing bore!”

---

All in all, I’m not as much a fan of the second half of season 25 as I am of the first half. But to be fair, the first two stories of the season are absolute all-time greats to me. Classic Who really does go out on a high with the Seventh Doctor’s run.

[dontfall-inlove-withthe-moment]

Does she take care of you or could I easily fill her shoes?

Word count: 1.4K Warnings: angst, mentions of cheating Matty Healy x reader

You’ve always known Matty has a dark side. A part of him full of lust and temptation ready to snap at the sight of a pretty girl, but you’ve never thought it could actually break at some point.

You met him in a bar, a crowd of girls surrounding him, all of them ready to give him whatever he desired but his eyes were on you, completely hypnotized by your movements.

You thought you were so special, so different, and I mean who wouldn’t? He could choose whoever he wanted but he chose you, the one thing you didn’t count on was the fact that just as he had picked you, Matty could also pick anybody else.

God you were so happy, I mean Matty has not the definition of perfect, but he cared for you, he loved you, and it was enough, you could look past the hurtful comments he could make drunk or the doubt you always had about you being enough if it meant you could end everyday next to him, feeling his warm body holding yours.

But you couldn’t look past this, the damage was made, and your heart already broken.

It was a normal day, you had told Matty that you were getting home late and you probably would arrive until 9pm.

You’re relationship was stable?, considering you guys weren’t fighting or anything calling it bad would be lying, but he hadn’t touched you in days, your interactions were limited to small forehead kisses and short hugs, but both of you worked a lot so you had just brushed this off, burring your problems until they blew right where they hurt the most.

Reunions finished early and you decided to leave the office so you could spend some time with Matty since neither of you had managed to match their free time with the other’s free time. You could feel your relationship slipping from your fingers and you just couldn’t let that happen.

When you got there, Matty was nowhere to be seen and the house was almost quiet. You thought about surprising him. You desired to spend a lovely evening making up for the lost time with him.

How could you be so stupid, so naive.

A naked woman on top of him. That was the first thing your eyes saw when you opened your bedroom door.

“Shit, fuck!” Was the first thing Matty said when he realized you had caught him in the act.

You didn’t want to listen to him, you didn’t want to see him, the only thing you wanted to do was leave as fast as you could so you didn’t have to face Matty, so it wouldn’t become real.

Matty quickly pushed the girl away from him and ran to catch you before it was too late. “No, no, fuck! Y/n wait! Please just let me explain!” His word were like daggers shot straight to your heart and they destroyed everything they touched.

You wanted to get as far away from him as posible but your body betrayed you, stopping in its tracks and turning to face his regret plastered face. “What Matty? What can you possibly tell me to explain why you were fucking another girl?” Your voice broke when you pronounced the last words.

Your wounded eyes met with his, and you tried not expect his answer to change everything because you knew no matter what he said, he had cheated on you, and there was nothing that could fix it.

Matty struggled to find the words, so he just looked at you apologetically but his silence was enough for you to find the strength to leave, to stop make excuses for him and get out.

The moment your touched the doorknob you felt a strong hand in your arm. You didn’t want to look, you just wanted to leave “Please Y/n… please don’t leave” a voice said behind you and when you turned to face him you were greeted with a pool in Matty’s eyes.

You almost felt sorry for him, just for a millisecond, until you remember why he was crying, and why were about to leave the house you had lived in for 4 years.

You scoffed but he continued “This was a mistake I swear, I just, I, she doesn’t mean anything to me Y/n, please”

You didn’t care about anything he had to say, you made up your mind but just had to know one last thing, so with tear stained eyes you looked at him and asked “How long?”

Matty’s eyes met yours and for a second he thought about lying, saying he hadn’t shared any other nights with her, not a single sacred moment, but he didn’t think lying would take him anywhere know.

“A couple of weeks” He said, almost whispering, and that was enough for you to just get out of that door.

It was finally when you were inside your car that to started sobbing uncontrollably.

4 years, all of your memories, all of those secrets you confided him with, all shared moments, they were all gone, they had shattered the moment you found that blonde girl bringing him that pleasure he obviously hadn’t found in you.

Your direction was obvious, with your hands taking you to John’s house without even thinking about it.

You knocked at his door shameful, John warned you about him, about Matty’s ways, but you always brushed them off. You had defended Matty from your best friend countless times, making excuses for him anytime John told you he didn’t like him. But when he saw you standing outside his house with puffy hurt eyes, he wasn’t mad at you, or telling you “I told you so” he just got close to you and hugged you tightly, making sure you were comfortable in his arms.

You went inside his house and told him about Matty, you expected a furious reaction, but instead he just held you tight, letting you cry about all your sorrows and not once letting you go from his grasp.

It was only when you were finished that he opened his mouth. “He never deserved you Y/n” he said quietly, he looked at you with warm eyes trying to cheer you up but the only thing you managed to say was “you know that’s not true”

He looked at you confused, “what do you mean?” He asked, and you just stared at him, like if he was joking “I know I wasn’t enough for him, I’ve known ever since we started dating but I never thought he would actually cheat on me” you confessed, but John wasn’t gonna let you put yourself down like that.

There was a silence before he started speaking “Y/n don’t ever, ever, say that again, because there’s not been a single time, were you haven’t been enough for him. Hell you’ve always been too good for him even”

You wanted to laugh, you could only find absurdity in his words, but the seriousness in his tone was unmistakable. He was completely sure about the words he was speaking.

You went to bed with John, you didn’t think you could sleep alone, so your best friend offered you a place on his bed, hoping it could give you that affection you were so in need of that night.

The night was long, and cold. You couldn’t sleep, not knowing that maybe that beautiful blond was sleeping on your side of the bed, feeling his soft skin next to hers, and filling the shoes you could not longer fill.

You hated how weak Matty made you, how desperate. God, you just had gotten cheated on and you were still hoping Matty could explain, that this was actually just a big confusion and tomorrow you could go back to your house, your home, and everything would go back to how it was. But you knew that was impossible, the damage was done and your life was changed irreversibly.

The only thing you could do right now was hold John tight, grasping for any kind of love you could get.

You needed a warm body capable of holding you, and your friend did exactly that, filling that hole in your heart Matty had left empty, even if it lasted just one night.

Part 2 here