#when i add the membrane

[chipper-smol]

NEW BUDDY

the wings have wire in them for support, but the body is standing on its own >:3

[something-in-your-walls]

yall I am not beating the nerdy twink allegations with all these nerdy twink ass bitches I’m kinning

[sugarsh3]

I actually did more Zim sketches featuring other characters + an OC

[hoodedjelly]

Adult Gaz design

I finally finished rewatching the show and i gotta say, dib and gaz are my favs :3

for gaz hcs: - I believe she takes over membrane labs instead of dib. this honestly adds with a lot of professor membrane hcs i have but the short of it is he is not a good father (i'd feel thats obvious). he is so full of himself that he completely ignores the thought of giving it to gaz because of dib refusing to inherit it. so while membrane is rotting and so upset, gaz plays the waiting game. basically taking over the company in small ways more and more until she has so much power that she kicks him out. - she makes the company gaming based science (i'm not sure the details of what that exactly means yet but you get me) - she does not style her hair to look like that when its up, it just happens (she can't silk it down) - i believe her and dib become very close when they're older, she tries to help in small ways when ever dib is in a real bad depressive rot and doesn't have much money. but he usually kindly refuses, having older sibling guilt but also wanting to prove he can do things on his own (daddy issues) - she's also a twitch streamer and gets a shit ton of viewers (when gaz is brb dib usually sneaks in so he can talk about aliens with chat, she always gets mad) - genderfluid (she/they), aroace(spec?) lesbian

Disclaimer! i take Jhonen's statements about Zim being an adult as fact and hold this belief strongly. so do NOT put that anywhere near my page, including discussion of it. if you dislike any of that then i highly request for you to not follow me. thank you!

hc help from @chocowhomps

[bazookaboi]

Attempt III, first semi reference sheet. Damn, still don’t know what to call these lil dudes…

Basic ideas:

-those holes on their neck are breathing holes.

-Their middle and hind limbs,(wings, basically), along with their tail amount to excellent agility in flight.

-Those tentacle things on their jaw and groin have multiple functions; one as acting a bit like whiskers if you will, quite sensitive, and for example, helping detect minuscule variations in stimuli like temperature or vibrations around them. And another reason being that they play an important part in acquiring a mate, and mating itself. These facial tentacles also move depending on emotions. -They have excellent 360 vision. (Still deciding in what color range they see).

-Their velvety coats are waterproof, and slightly iridescent. (Probably provide insulation too)

-Their eyes have protective nictitating membranes.

-They have malar stripes that reduce the glare of light. (The darker pigment surrounding their eyes).

-catching their prey aerially can either be done with their mouth or their frontal limbs. When swallowing prey or not in use, their proboscis is retracted fully.

-prey in particularly small, tricky places can be reached by their proboscis, which will latch firmly onto the creature with those painfully sharp pincers/fangs/dunno what to call them yets.

-Their clamp-like “hands” have outstanding grip, and with their small, sharp, curved claws, these are excellent for climbing, even upside down. And in the case of their frontal limbs, excellent for manipulating objects.

-I’m going to make a few variations of these creatures depending on their surrounding environment on their planet, but for now I’m just gonna say that the one I have here would be a bit more adapted to coastal life. (I just spawned these like, two days ago so I’m still gonna be figuring them out for a while ok T-T)

-Hmm, I’m still deciding on what the proboscis is for, but I’m pretty sure that it will play a key part in taking care of their offspring.

I am totally going to forget something that I wanted to add… I am sure that I am going to post this, remember the idea at 6:00AM in the morning, and get quite pissed.

I could go more into detail but I think many people would get bored reading a bible-sized post.

[bluegekk0]

Lurien's design for the FPK AU! I still have to design his outfit (both his Watcher robes as well as his current look), which includes figuring out how to fit his wings under clothes, but this is what he looks like unmasked! There might be some changes to the design between now and his proper ref sheet, but I'm happy with how it turned out.

As you can see, he's inspired by both birds and butterflies. None of the characters in my AU are a specific irl species, bug or otherwise, but I still wanted to include a nod to the popular butterfly Lurien headcanon haha

I'll add more info about him and his role in the AU once I have a ref sheet complete, but if you've been reading my ask responses then you might have an idea what he's up to. I decided to add some background info about him to this version though, with more to expand later.

---

Some design notes not included in the picture:

-he has three eyes, but his vision in the smaller two is poor; the middle eye, on the other hand, has incredible sight, basically as good as an eagle's

-his blue wing markings and antennae glow when in contact with Lifeblood, implying some distant connection between the substance and his species

-his species is omnivorous, leaning towards a fruit and nectar diet

-the membrane on his wings is strong, but it cannot regenerate when torn or clipped

-he has feathers on his arms, wings and neck; the rest of his body resembles chitin

[craigslisthorses]

Hyperkalemic Periodic Paralysis (HYPP)

Breeds with HYPP; Quarter Horses, American Paint Horses, Appaloosas, and Quarter Horse Crosses.

HYPP

"An inherited disease of the muscle, caused by a genetic defect. A mutation in the sodium channel gene. Sodium channels are pores in the muscle cell membrane which control contraction of the muscle fibers. When the defective sodium channel gene is present, the channel becomes “leaky” and makes the muscle overly excitable and contract involuntarily. The channel become “leaky” when potassium levels fluctuate in the blood. This may occur with fasting followed by consumption of a high potassium feed such as alfalfa. Hyperkalemia, which is an excessive amount of potassium in the blood, causes the muscles in the horse to contract more readily than normal. This makes the horse susceptible to sporadic episodes of muscle tremors or paralysis."

GENOTYPE

HYPP Positive= H/N and H/H

HYPP Negative= HYPP N/N

HYPP horses with H/N genotype means they are heterozygous carriers, carrying one copy of the HYPP gene. If you bred a mare who is H/N to a stallion who is N/N, you would have about a 50% chance the foal is H/N as well. However if you bred an H/N mare to an H/N stallion you will have about a 25% chance the foal being N/N, a 50% chance it will be H/N, and a 25% chance it will be H/H.

HYPP horses with the H/H genotype means it is homozygous, carrying both copies of the HYPP gene. 100% passing the HYPP gene to it's offspring.

I made a thing in case it helps the visual learners out there

IMPRESSIVE (but not really)

Let's talk about the QH stallion, Impressive. All horses that have a HYPP positive gene of any kind, all descend from this horse. Impressive sired 2,250 foals and they estimate he has around 50,000 living descendants. No dilution of lineage will remove HYPP, as it is a dominant trait and will show whether you are 5 generations back or 2.

HYPP SYMPTOMS

HYPP varies in severity, it's not always equal and every horse may have different reactions. HYPP can be confused for tying-up or even colic, they may have difficulty breathing, muscle tremors, sweating, weakness, tremors. In more severe cases the horse may collapse from paralysis of the muscles in the airway and can result in sudden death.

Not every horse who is HYPP positive may display symptoms, making this disease sometimes hard to detect.

IS IT CURABLE?

No. HYPP may be managed with diet and certain medicines for maintenance but it cannot be cured. H/H positive horses have poor prognosis and can be much more difficult to manage.

VIDEOS OF HYPP ATTACKS

CW: Horses in distress, videos may be hard to watch for some.

Video 1

Video 2

Video 3

Video 4

Video 5

Sources (and if you want to read more); AAEP , UCDavis, Tri-State

Is there anything I forgot? Anything to add? Just covering the basics of this disease and what it does to these horses.

[mai-komagata]

Vulcan skin color meta (why its not green)

In the past i've seen a lot of discussion about whether we should or should not draw vulcans as green, mostly centered around antisemitism. I want to start out by saying this meta is not gonna go into much of any of that. Regardless of whether it is antisemitic for vulcans to be green or not, the truth is they aren't. They also aren't quite human colored. It isn't a technical limitation; they aren't shown as green in the show or cartoons even when orions are green. This meta will mostly concern 3 questions:

in universe, why are vulcans not green when their blood is green?

in universe, are vulcan mucus membranes and other colored tissue like lips and nipples green? If not why not?

What color would a vulcan blush (do vulcans blush?)

If you are interested in this exploration, read on!

Why are vulcans not green when their blood is green?

Ok, maybe we should ask a more fundamental question: why are humans not red when our blood is red? Humans absent melanin don't look red. We look whitish, except for veins that look greenish/blue. Why is that? Well yes, all our non-pigmented innards are largely filled with red fluid, but our skin absorbs red light, so it isn't reflected back into our eyes. our skin reflects and scatters blue/green light so we see the bits near our skin that are green/blue after your remove all the red. Additionally, most people have varying amounts of eumelanin (which gives us brown/black coloring) and some much smaller amounts of pheomelanin (which is red). but yeah, we don't look red despite being sacks of red fluid because we are a bag of red-absorbing white film with black/brown/red coloring. But like, vulcan skin could be different. it could mostly absorb green light. It could have a lot of pheomelanin that would counteract the green color. A more pinkish base skin color could be advantageous in the hot Vulcan temperatures at blocking more infrared and prevent overheating, for example.

This would have the end effect of giving the skin this yellow cast vulcans have in the show via makeup. it is not green, it is not red, but something in between. Vulcans could then have eumelanin on top of that that give us normal deep shade variations from tuvok to stonn. Because of the predominance of eumelanin, characters like tuvok would not appear as yellow as whiter vulcans. There are other skin pigments vulcans could have that we aren't even considering. There are selenium based melanins that have higher skin uv protection, which could add even more pigments and change the color of vulcan skin even more.

Ok, but are vulcan mucus membranes and lips green?

First thing to note is human nipples and lips aren't red b/c we just have our blood just hanging out right there. We have red pigment (i.e. pheomelanin) that is making them red. (and other amounts of eumelanin just like all skin, which can end up looking purplish in certain skin tones). Look I like a green vulcan penis fanfic as much as anyone else, but we are shown no evidence that vulcan lips, nipples, tongues, mucus membranes in general would be green. If we go by the previous section, and assume vulcans want greater sun protection, they could have large amounts of eumelanin and less translucent skin to ensure they still look reddish on the outside. But vulcan skin doesn't have green pigments in it as portrayed by the show. And it doesn't seem biologically advantageous to have green pigments just for lips/inside the mouth when all your other pigments are red based. Ok, but maybe this is a technical limitation, maybe they just couldn't make red lips on actors without a lot of unnecessary makeup. Maybe. But in none of the cartoons are vulcans shown having green lips, and Orions *are* shown having green mucus membranes in the cartoons even when they couldn't for technical reasons make them all green in live action. if this was the intended coloring of vulcans, they would have colored them that way. But they don't.

Can they at least blush green?

Well, the first question here is: why and how do humans blush? So the way humans blush is by increasing bloodflow to their skin deep capillaries. There is suddenly a lot more red closer to the surface, so there aren't as many layers of skin to absorb the red and more of it peeks through. Humans vasodilate for a number of reasons, including shedding excess heat, any chemicals in our bloodstream that increase bloodflow, and for social signaling.

So in theory, vulcans that vasodilate would look greener. Unlike paler humans that often have complementary pheomelanin in their skin that would make them look redder than normal, vulcans wouldn't have green pigments making them look greener. The red pigments would still be there to counteract some of the green. So i don't think a vulcan would ever look as green as a tomato-red human, but if they had a reason to vasodilate their skin would darken/green with the green blood.

But do vulcans have the autonomic processes to blush when embarrassed/angry/etc? That is an interesting question. Social signaling in Vulcan would be very different. Most animals don't blush. Babies don't blush. We know also that Vulcans have much more conscious control over bodily functions than humans do. So it is possible Vulcans (specifically post-surakian) don't blush at all. Or maybe they only blush if impaired, like during pon farr. That said, maybe there are other reasons they turn dark yellow/greenish like hyperthermia, intoxication, allergic reactions, hives, etc.

[spacelazarwolf]

shakshuka - maghrebi

cookbook: jewish flavors of italy

total time from start to finish: 50 minutes

rating system

difficulty: 2 this recipe required chopped veggies and some sautéing, and it does require a couple of different timed steps (like watching the eggs to make sure they don’t overcook... oops...), but overall it wasn't difficult to make. the recipe did call for harissa, which i found (hechschered) at my local international market, or felfel u ciuma. you can make the harissa yourself, it just takes some extra time. i don't know if you can find the felfel u ciuma in any international markets.

rating: 5 absolutely fucking delicious. 100/10.

this particular recipe comes from the libyan jews of rome. there is a substantial population of libyan jews in rome because of the increasing levels of persecution faced by the jewish community in libya in the 20th century, culminating in violence and pogroms during and after the six day war, until around 6000 libyan jews were airlifted out of libya to rome by the italian navy in 1967. the refugees were forced to leave their homes, their businesses, and most of their possessions behind, but despite these hardships, libyan jews have become an integral part of the roman jewish community.

and i can’t mention libyan jews without mentioning david gerbi, a libyan jew who has spent years trying to restore synagogues and cemeteries in libya and hopes to eventually make libya safe enough for libyan jews to return. so far his attempts have been met with a lot of violent pushback, but b”h someday they will get their home back.

recipe:

shakshuka:

preparation: 15 minutes cooking: 50-55 minutes serves 2-4

ingredients:

3-4 tbsp extra virgin olive oil

3-4 garlic cloves, crushed

2 tsp ground cumin or caraway (i used cumin, which is most commonly used, but the author of the cookbook likes to use caraway)

1 tsp paprika

1 tsp felfel u ciuma or harissa

3 red, yellow, or orange peppers; stems, seeds, and white membranes removed, and flesh cut into 5mm (1/4 in)-thick strips

2 ripe vine tomatoes, diced, or 10 cherry tomatoes, halved (optional) (i used 2 cans of diced tomatoes)

500g (1lb 2oz/generous 2 cups) passata (an italian tomato puree, you can use pureed tomatoes but passata is a bit thicker)

1 tbsp finely chopped fresh italian parsley

4 eggs

sea salt and black pepper to taste

bread to serve

many middle eastern cuisines claim this dish as their own. libyan jews are no exception, and those who migrated to italy took it with them. shakshuka has become popular all around the world and today, many of rome's kosher restaurants have it on their menus, reflecting not just the city's large libyan jewish population but also the food of israel, where shakshuka is very well known.

put the oil, garlic, 1 tsp of cumin or caraway, paprika, and felfel u ciuma or harissa (i used harissa and added an extra tsp) in a large, non-stick frying pan, stir and cook over a low heat for 5 minutes. (before this, i sautéed some yellow onions)

add the peppers to the pan, stir, add a pinch each of salt and pepper and cook, covered, over a low to medium heat for about 15 minutes until the peppers start to soften.

add the tomatoes (if using) and toss for 5 minutes, then add the passata with a pinch each of salt and pepper and cook for another 20-25 minutes, covered, and stirring occasionally. remove the lid, add half the parsley, and the second tsp of cumin or caraway, stir and taste for seasoning. you can cook the eggs in the mixture straight away, or make the recipe up to this point and keep the sauce ready in the fridge for up to 3 days.

when you're ready to cook the eggs, make four dips in the sauce (reheating the sauce if you've made it ahead of time) with the back of a spoon and gently break an egg into each one. cover and simmer over a low to medium heat for 6-8 minutes until the egg whites are just set but the yolks are still runny (oops...)

sprinkle with the remaining parsley and, if you like, a little more cumin or caraway. serve hot, ideally with bread.

harissa (from saffron shores):

4 large red bell peppers or pimientos, seeded, deribbed, and cut into pieces

3 large cloves garlic, minced

1 tbsp ground coriander

1 tbsp caraway seeds, toasted and ground

1.5 to 2 tsp cayenne pepper

1 tsp salt

extra virgin olive oil as needed

in a meat grinder, food processor, or blender (you could probably also use mortar and pestle, it would just take longer), grind or puree the bell peppers or pimientos. strain, pressing on the solids with the back of a large spoon. you should have about 3/4 cup puree. stir in the garlic, spices, and salt. add oil for spoonability.

alternate harissa (also from saffron shores):

3 dried ancho chili peppers, soaked in hot water for 1 hour

3 garlic cloves, minced

2 tsp cumin seeds, toasted and ground

1 tsp caraway seeds, toasted and ground (optional)

1 tsp salt

cayenne pepper to taste

extra virgin olive oil for filming

drain the peppers. in a blender, combine the peppers, garlic, and seasonings, puree to a paste (could probably do in a mortar and pestle). pack in a hot sterilized jar and film the top with olive oil. seal and refrigerate for up to 6 weeks.

felfel u ciuma (from jewish flavors of italy):

6 garlic cloves, crushed

1/2 tsp chilli powder

1 tbsp paprika

1/2 tsp sea salt

juice of 1/2 lemon

1/2 tsp ground caraway (optional)

2 tbsp water

simply combine all ingredients in a small bowl and stir well to create a paste.

[amazingmsme]

Last night I had an idea for an epic AU that is either really cool or really stupid.

So basically, the gods can be killed. But only with one specific weapon or tool that is special or sacred to them. For example, the Spear of Athena, or Demeter's labrys (a double headed axe for woodcutting). If they are wounded with that weapon, they might as well be mortal. Anything else, they can heal from. But this? Nah.

Which brings me to the next part. So remember how Poseidon is turned into Swiss cheese in 600 Strike? Well, Poseidons weapon, the one that can fatally harm him, is nothing other than his trident. You know, the very trident that Ody used to make him more see-through than cheap toilet paper.

So, I imagine that 600 Strike goes as normal, but Poseidon lives long enough to gasp out the word "please" like he does in the song, and then he just dies. Odysseus is confused as hell. He kinda pokes him with the trident, like "why is he just lying there?" Only to look on, horrified, as the god's body turns into a puddle of seawater and merges with the rest of the ocean.

(Now the fun part) After around 3 seconds Odysseus feels a white hot pain all over his body, before promptly blacking out.

When he comes to, the storm has faded away, and the sea is as calm as a sleeping toddler. He sighs and gets up from the rocks he was laying on, only to realize that everything felt off. Now is he going crazy, or is everything more defined and colorful? And his hearing sounds like it got better as well. And the ground seemed farther away than normal. Had some god blessed him? Was this Poseidon's way of conceding their battle? No, that can't be right. The trident is still lying there. Odysseus reaches to pick it up, and freezes in shock.

His fingers have membranes in between them.

It's only then that he takes a good look at himself. There are patches of scales all over his arms, legs, and torso. He now has fins on his arms and legs, and ears as well. His nails have gone from blunt to long and sharp. Pulling a lock of hair in front of him shows that it's longer than it used to be, with streaks of blue and teal. Catching his reflection in the water shows him that his eyes have changed from brown to a striking aquamarine, and the whites have turned black and, are those fangs?

Something is terribly wrong here. While he is sifting through all of the possible causes in his head, he hears a voice to his right. It's a merman. Why is he calling Odysseus "My lord?" What is going on?

On Olympus, the gods are shocked that one of their own had been killed. Then, as the implications begin to dawn on them, they feel something that a god never feels. Fear. One of the strongest Olympians was killed by a mortal. Could this happen to the rest of them as well.

Back on that rocky patch, Odysseus came to a sudden, chilling realization. He looked at the water around him, and tried to will it to do something, anything. To his surprise, the water began to churn, before turning into violent waves, as the skies darkened again, reflecting the storm in Odysseus's mind.

Ody is no longer Odysseus, King of Ithaca. He is no longer the monster that Poseidon had turned him into. He is now Odysseus, God of the Seas.

It's a little rusty, but I thought it sounded like a cool idea. What do you think? Also sorry for the ramble.

- 🧁 anon

MDJSMSBDD LITERALLY LOSING MY FUCKING MIND OVER THIS OMGGGGG! I LOVE the idea of a god’s weapon being the thing that can kill them! & it adds so much weight to everything Odysseus already did to add killing a god onto that list is bound to have some kind of effect on him!

This is such a cool, interesting concept & I’m eating it up! Love the description of god!ody

[just-my-latest-hyperfixation]

Congratulations on 1k! It's impressive how many different genres your AUs have covered with such fun stories

For the ficletbuild a prompt game, perhaps F "Where's your sense of adventure?" + 🧜‍♂️Just add water? Vibes and item are dealers choice :)

Thank you so much, I love trying new things and exploring different universes and themes. Hope you like what I've come up with, I've been wanting to write this for a while. 🧜‍♂️❤️

Night swimming

Rated: T

Words: 1,000

Tags: Established relationship; mer!Steve Harrington; sexually explicit language; nudity

Notes: Bonus drabble to Just add water

“Okay, not to sound ungrateful,” Eddie mutters, huddling deeper into his flannel. Summer is well and truly over and the nights are getting chilly, especially out here on the water. “I appreciate this whole three-month anniversary surprise date, I really do. But couldn’t you have gone for dinner and a movie perhaps?”

“Nah,” Steve smiles. He stops rowing, pulling the oars into the boat and leaving them floating on the surface of the moonlit lake. “It had to be here. This is where I fell for you, where we first kissed. First made love. C’mon, where’s your sense of adventure?”

“Back at the shore, probably.” Eddie pretends to shiver, even though his face has gone hot at Steve’s casual mention of their first time. “Where all of that stuff actually happened, by the way, so I still don’t get why you needed to row us out here. Now where’s that surprise you promised me?”

“Patience,” Steve scolds, leaning closer on the rickety bench so that he can press a kiss to Eddie’s lips. “I'm getting there.”

Then, without further preamble, he starts stripping.

“What the-” Eddie blurts as Steve’s sweater hits him in the face. “No way, forget it. We're not fucking in the middle of the-”

“Get your mind out of the gutter, who said anything about fucking?” Steve rolls his eyes, shrugging out of his jeans and underpants. “We’re going for a swim.”

And then, before Eddie has a chance to stop him, he dives headfirst into the dark lake. Eddie yelps and clenches his eyes shut as the boat rocks. When he opens them, Steve is just emerging again. He laughs and shakes the water from his hair, happy like a fish in the water, which … okay, yeah. That's actually an apt comparison, considering the giant, glistening tail and the fucking fins that have taken the place of his legs.

You'd think that after three months, a guy would get used to his boyfriend being a real-life mermaid. No such luck, apparently, because Eddie still finds himself as dumbstruck as the first time as Steve swims closer and casually rests his arms on the edge of the boat. The patch of scales on his temples shimmers in the pale light.

“Not coming in?”

Eddie grins, trying to ignore the way his heart hammers against his ribcage.

“Nuh-uh, fish boy. Don't wanna freeze to death. You have fun, I'll take care of the food.”

He has just bent over to retrieve the huge picnic basket from the hull of the boat when Steve says, “Oh, you thought that was for you?”

Eddie whips his head up, mouth already open around a question- … which turns into a garbled half-scream when he sees what has appeared beside Steve.

A gleaming pair of eyes, each roughly the size of a saucer.

Eddie blinks. The eyes blink back. There's two pairs of lids on each, the inner one a thin, translucent membrane.

“She's been dying to meet you,” Steve smiles. “Say hi?”

“Hrrrrrrgh,” Eddie says.

The creature makes a sound - a long, high-pitched trill. Steve chimes in with a laugh of his own, and wait, do they think this is funny?

Steve sees the scowl on his face and tilts his head. “C’mon, Eds, don't be like that. You've seen her before.”

“Yeah, from a distance,” Eddie squeaks, finally finding his voice again. “Not like this. Jeez, warn a guy! What happened to meeting the family first?”

The creature makes an affronted sound and Steve pets her large, arrow-shaped head.

“Of course you are family, he's just a bit confused,” he tells her. She grumbles and he turns to Eddie with a chuckle. “Uh-oh, you'd better apologize.”

Eddie stares. Steve’s eyes flick down to the picnic basket.

“Ugh, alright,” Eddie mutters. He reaches down to flip the lid open, steeling himself for the sight of slimy fish heads, only to be met with… “Fruit? She eats fruit?”

Steve shrugs. “She's an ombi- … obvy- … she eats everything, really. Oh, give her the watermelon, she loves those.”

Eddie obeys, because why wouldn't he? If your mermaid boyfriend tells you to feed the friendly lake monster a watermelon, you feed the lake monster the goddamn watermelon. It's only logical.

The melon is about as large as his head. He lifts it, and a long neck comes curling out of the water, until those eerie eyes are level with his - and then higher still, so he's looking up at them. It's a weird feeling, being face to face with this creature who's so much older than him - older than the lake itself, maybe - holding out the fruit to her like an offering. Awe, he realizes. He's feeling awed in the truest and most original sense of the word.

And then she bends down and plucks the melon from his hands. Something crunches and Eddie shrieks in surprise and disgust as a shower of juice and seeds descends on him. The creature swallows, blinks her glowing, double-lidded eyes at him one last time, and then she's gone, slipping back under the surface of the lake with barely a ripple.

“Huh,” Eddie exhales a shaky laugh. “That went pretty-”

The world tilts.

His scream turns into a wet gargle as he hits the water, but Steve has him under the arms and is pulling him up to straddle his tail before he can go under. He sees Eddie’s shocked face and laughs, gently combing dark strands soaked in lake water and melon juice out of his face.

“That went fantastically,” he says, grin wide and brilliant and incredibly proud. It makes Eddie’s heart kick in his chest, just a little. “She really likes you!”

Eddie spits out a mouthful of water.

“What, really? Is it just her or do all of your family members have such an odd way of showing it?”

Steve hums, a bit nervously perhaps, and pulls Eddie's shivering body closer to his chest.

“Well, wait until you meet my mom.”

More celebration ficlets

[sandyca5tle]

Slime HRT - Supplimental

So, I’ve been asked to make this supplemental entry to the journal covering all those little changes that happen over the course of a transition that fly under the radar while the bigger things happen or happen so gradually that you don’t notice it until six months down the line. They also asked me to include any other things that could help other people going through a similar transition, or to just add any other notes that I didn’t include in the regular ones, so that’s what this is going to be!

To start, a slightly weird one: Clothes! It took a while before I began to have any issues with these if I’m honest, but after a while, particularly once my slime started to become more prominent (so around the 10 month mark) my slime was very noticeably seeping through my clothes, making them damp at best, and soaked through at worst. Comfort wise this wasn’t really a problem - the wet clothes on my slime wasn’t super noticeable - but they did cling a bit. 

The real issue was that it essentially stained all of my clothes, and overtime they all became slightly more orange over time, especially the lighter shirts. So I started wearing tank tops (since initially my shoulders hadn’t quite changed) and wearing waterproof shorts and pants (underpants for the non-brits). Of course once more of my body changed, I also had to get waterproof tops as well - which actually proved the harder of the two. I did also buy some waterproofing products so I could keep using some of my favourite clothes, and just to help sure up some of the new clothes I was buying. Fortunately I’ve had no issue with my now more acidic nature, which I’m guessing is due to the same membrane that stops me dissolving anything I touch.

The other note about clothes is that certain clothes aren’t as good of an idea as you’d like. Foremost - bras, the typical ones at least, do dig a little into your shoulders - and I don’t mean in the human way of ‘oh it’s too tight’: if they’re doing their job at all, they will dig in a bit. And of course, digging in here means at least partially breaking through your outer membrane. It’s not painful, certainly not in the way it is for humans, but you do notice it. I’ve found the best solution is (waterproof) sports bras, but honestly since my chest changed, I’ve found the need for bras has decreased, since I can kinda control my chest like I can the rest of my body, so I can kind of do the bra’s job for it - basically my chest only moves as much as any other part of my body does at this point, so in the same way my arms don’t flop around everywhere when I move, neither does my chest.

Tighter clothes are fine so long as they’re not too tight, since things that are too tight really mess with my shape now, and of course since the fluidity of my body has been one of the best things about my transition so far, having my movement at all restrained isn’t super fun, so I’ve tried to find stuff that is a nice middle ground. I can’t comment much more since I just don’t own that many tight clothes, but I had a couple and tried them out, and yeah, it’s neat to see how they affect my body now, but not all of them are as comfy now (not fun to have your goo squeezed through the material of your clothes, or at least unpleasantly weird, particularly for daily wear/use).

I also think it’s worth noting that I basically forgo clothes while at home/in private, particularly now that my transition is basically complete, partially ‘cause I don’t wanna have to worry about them getting messed up by my goo/the waterproofing wearing out, but also because they aren’t particularly conducive to the ways I want to, and can now, move. My outfits may be fairly open that might accommodate an extra limb or two, but if I turn into a ball of slime or a puddle, or some other less humanoid shape, the clothes at best get in the way, at worst could get damaged. I have, of course modified my clothes to account for more permanent things, like my tail and wings, but that’s only because I still feel a little awkward in a humanoid form not wearing anything - even if they’re nothing really to see now - just one of those things that has been baked into me… pluuuus I’d rather not find out firsthand what the legal ruling is on that, and either way, I don’t wanna draw any more attention than I already do, so I’m sticking with clothes in public for now.

Relatedly to clothes, I’ve noticed that my body temp is lower, and I’m definitely cold ‘blooded’ now, in the sense that I don’t produce my own internal heat. Fortunately I don’t particularly seem to need to keep my body temperature up, just so long as the outside temp doesn’t get low enough to start actually freezing my body. I did look up the freezing and boiling points for maple syrup (since that’s the closest thing to my own makeup) and basically I don’t have to worry about boiling unless I fall in an oven or something. But as I said, freezing is more of an issue, but I found a place in the city that helped through some of the colder winters called T.H.E.M.S, where those of us creatures who can’t manage the heat - snakes, lizards, and ofc slimes etc. can last out the winter with heat lamps and the like. 

Linking back to the clothes, they do very little to help anymore, since they can’t trap heat if you’re not producing any. Does mean I can basically wear whatever outfit I want regardless of weather, since bundling up isn’t gonna do anything - yes - but similarly means that I can’t do much to ward against the cold. Also means I can’t bundle myself up in bed and be warm that way either, unless the room is already warm, so that kinda sucks.

On top of all this, ‘hot’ and ‘cold’ register a little differently, although that might be more no longer having the human symptoms of ‘hot’ and ‘cold’. I will however say that I do still shiver, although as with many things now, it’s subtly different. From what I can tell, it feels like parts of me are kind of vibrating? My guess is to produce the same effect as shivering, vibrating/moving to create heat. It does create a weird kind of minute rippling effect across my body, but it does help stave off the cold a little, so that’s useful.

I do have to note: Early on, you’d think that your human body will help maintain heat, but that’s not super true - you maintain just enough heat to keep your human body alive, but your slime parts aren’t heated nearly enough, so yeah, either prepare to bundle up, or go visit T.H.E.M.S (or a similar place) which is also a good place to meet other creatures, which I’d definitely recommend, lotsa fun peeps out there.

Continuing with at least tangentially related things: weather. As a slime, the weather kinda affects you a little differently. The worst is cold, since yeah, no internal heat source/production can cause you to solidify, but a windy day can also be awkward almost from the start of transition. While early on you’re sheltered from the negatives of being a slime, your skin pretty quickly becomes more fluid-like, which means that wind will ripple and blow your skin, and later on the surface of your slime. It does get a little better as you become slimier, since the self-adhesive nature of slimes means that the wind affects it a little less, but you’ll still definitely end up rippling a bunch. Of course, this also means you really have to watch out when the wind gets really high, as you can lose mass to the wind, so definitely be careful of that.

Rain is probably the next most awkward. Slimes are, depending on material of course, mostly water, even more so than humans and we kind of absorb things easily especially water (We can to some level stop things from entering our bodies, but on the whole small things are just naturally absorbed). What this means in rain is that you start taking in a bunch of water, which initially is good - slimes need a lot of water to survive - however if you stay out to long, it’ll keep going and you’ll get diluted, which is not fun, feels kinda like bloating, and you get really heavy. Worst case you’ll start to lose mass as your slime can’t hold itself together properly. Once you’re inside/out of the rain, if you can, you’ll either have to wait out for the excess to be processed, which takes bloody forever, but does give you a decent amount of mass, or wrap yourself in something absorbent to draw the water out - however I would recommend avoiding using a towel for this if you only have one or two, as you inevitably also sop up some slime too, so the towel will need quite a few washes to be usable again (I’ve actually had to get a bunch of towels to deal with washing ‘nd stuff, me and the towels, although it can be nice to sit with the water and just let it all absorb)

The last notable weather is, of course, the sun, or I suppose I should start with warm weather generally. Really warm weather is, plainly, sticky, and honestly I think that’s more because of my subspecies - it’s like heating up sweets, they get all sticky when heated, so in the same vein since I’m very sugary (being a sap slime and all) I also get sticky. Fortunately, unlike with human skin, the stickiness isn’t as much of a problem, mostly just makes me adhere more to myself, meanwhile the heat makes me a little meltier overall, which again, not super a problem, just means that I’m ‘stringier’ when I move and change shape. This actually makes changing shape a little easier to do, but harder to hold individual shapes if my body isn’t used to them. I’ve also noticed I can tolerate higher heats better, I’m guessing since my body doesn’t need to hover around 37 degrees, so if it gets close to or hotter than that, it’s not a problem for my body now, asides the aforementioned stickiness and ‘melting’.

A quick thing to mention with regards to the weather, particularly sunny weather, is my hay fever - something I suffered from before - has completely gone. I don’t know if this is just ‘cause I’m now part plant, so ofc i’m not bothered, or because my immune system/immune response has changed now that I’m a slime, but either way, definitely a boon!

Continuing to the other side of sunny weather, rather than just the heat, is the sun itself which has become a new best friend of mine. Over my transition, I noticed that, slowly, my otherwise amber slime, had begun to get these small green flecks throughout it. I didn’t really think much of it at first, asides from checking in to make sure i wasn’t something strange, only to find out at my most recent appointment that they’re little pockets of chloroplasts/chlorophyll (I can’t remember exactly which) so I can actually photosynthesize! 

Now, for full transparency, I don’t think this is something that all or even most slimes’ll get, pretty sure it’s just because I’m a plant based/connected slime (being sap) so unless you’re in a similar situation don’t expect to be photosynthesising. It is a little interesting since I’m not a part of a plant that would normally have the ability to photosynthesise, but I am absolutely not complaining.

What this does mean is mostly that I have extra energy on sunny days, as at the moment the concentration of photosynthesising cells in my body isn’t high enough to really act as a supplemental for food, especially as I am more active than other plants (oh, that feels nice to say/write), although the doctor did say that I might be able to get a greater yield by increasing the surface area of my body, and when I suggested that doing some stuff with my wings might help, he didn’t shoot it down. Also given my core is the same colour, I’m hoping that  that will up my photosynthetic capabilities, haven’t had a good day to try it out yet though.

I guess the next thing to talk about is food. Obviously as I’ve mentioned above, a small amount of my energetic needs are met by photosynthesising, but that hasn’t been/isn’t enough to sustain me, so I’m still eating ‘food’ to keep myself alive. Early on I mentioned that my tastes, and dietary requirements, had shifted a little, meaning I was eating more sweet foods, and avoiding savoury, and particularly salty, foods more. Turns out the former was only during the transition, as my body needed the extra sugars to alter my body, both for energy, and for the sugary nature of my body. The latter, however, has remained, salty foods in particular remaining an infrequent indulgence, and while I can now enjoy savoury foods, I’ve noticed that my enjoyment is based less in texture and flavour (the former hasn’t changed, arguably it’s gotten more detailed, while the latter… ehhh they taste fine, but I’m not jumping to the chance to have them) and more on the amount - bacon, while still something that can taste really nice, is much less enjoyable than a steak, even one done less than great - fuck, even a burnt one can be better than bacon now, which has been particularly weird to get used to, although it does help if I disable my ability to taste for that.

What I have worked out fairly easily is that for things that don’t have a particularly good taste, or texture for that matter, my enjoyment of them comes now from a third factor - mass - specifically how much of it is there. And this extends beyond what human’s consider food as well, sheet metal, what little I've been able to get a hold of, has been really wonderful. Honestly, metal’s density makes it really good for me, since it’s a lot heavier than a lot of other things I could be eating for the size. Aluminium’s kinda like popcorn, or like prawn crackers, or stuff like that, it’s the ‘light, fluffy’ of metals, well, aluminium foil at least, cans are more like crisps. I could make a whole section on what all manner of objects are like to eat (and honestly I might in the future….), but that’d prolly add too much for this entry.

It’s also worth adding that I’ve also found watery foods - watermelon etc. - are also very nice and filling/they feel good to eat, so I’ve been eating more of those when I can. I’m guessing it’s because it helps with my increased need for water, as well as just being food, so they satisfy a couple of my new bodies needs.

A good thing to segway into from food is to talk about hunger, as well as other similar processes that I’ve noticed changing. 

Hunger in particular is an interesting one. I don’t really ‘get hungry’ like humans do, it’s more of just a general constant low-level background feeling that I should eat? But it never really has spikes in the same way human hunger does. Additionally, if I don’t eat for a while, asides from a slight increase in awareness of my ‘hunger’, there isn’t really any pain or physiological issues that come from it (I tested this for a couple days, making sure I did have food if I needed it ofc, but I was curious). I now realise I should have asked about this, to work out why exactly slime hunger works like this. It is also worth adding that - from what I can remember (it’s been a few months since I had a stomach, which is about when I think this changed for me) - the ‘hunger’ doesn’t really feel like hunger in the same way…. I’m not really sure how to describe it, and hunger is definitely the closest analogue, but like, to the left a little.

Moving on from hunger/hunger-like feelings, of course, with my new non-human, and fuck non-animal (i think, i don’t know the taxonomy of a slime), a lot of things have changed, and I think the most notable is how ‘breathing’ changed. 

I mentioned before about how I no longer breathe since I lost my lungs, which is still cool and super useful, however, as with any living being, I still need to respire to produce energy to live. To this end, instead of actively breathing, oxygen is absorbed through the outer membrane of my slime, oxygenating my cells. Of course, as previously mentioned, I also photosynthesize, so that also helps provide some of the oxygen for respiration (which I still think is super cool), so together I actually have a pretty good system going - much like other plants do (hehe, still feels nice to say that). However, much like other living beings, slimes produce waste/excess, despite my particular subspecies seemingly having a setup perfect for cycling gases for energy production - but plants aren’t perfect systems either, so I guess it makes sense that I’m not as well. Excess gases seem to be stored in little bubbles all throughout my slime, while waste is released from my slime, much like exhaling, except sometimes it’s more oxygen than carbon dioxide, and instead of coming out of one hole, just kind of permeates out of my body..

Next, relating to self regulation/maintenance (it’s tenuous, but work with me here), is hygiene. Lack of teeth means I don’t have to brush my teeth anymore, but the main thing is washing. I mentioned at the start of my journey that showering was a little weird because the water would get absorbed by my slime and kinda like, indent and ripple it, but it also helped with hydration - yeah that still happens, and honestly, high pressure showers are kinda unpleasant because of it, huge amount of sensory stuff - can be nice at times, but equally can be unpleasant. This has meant washing (which yes, I still have to do - despite my acid dissolving most foreign dirt and stuff, grime still builds up, so I have to clean that - it is however required less regularly though from what I can tell) has primarily taken the form of baths, and let me just tell you they are amazing now. Half fill a bathtub with warm soapy water, climb in, and just relax; let go of all shape and form and just kinda mix with the water in the bath… it is heavenly just being liquid and only gently moving about to run the water through every part of yourself. Weirdly the water weight gained from bathing like that is kinda nice compared to that gained via rain, and it’s nice to just kinda let it sit and be processed by my body, which I guess is similar to humans - liking showers vs disliking rain.

Another typical thing that’s somewhat changed is sleep. I don’t really get tired in the same way, so this means that I don’t really need to sleep nearly as often to keep my body from keeling over from exhaustion. Recently too, I noticed that the same thing has kind of extended to my mind as well - can go for much longer without getting mentally exhausted… so long as I don’t do anything too mentally taxing. Usually it’s my mind that calls it quits first over my body, but I can go a lot longer without rest now.

On the note of exhaustion, not breathing or having any musculature means I don’t really tire anymore - liked to the above tiredness, though obviously I have a limit to how long I can go before I do run out of fuel - but it’s much more like that, more of a running out of energy, rather than feeling out of breath or strained in muscles. Honestly I kinda feel like I’m cheating - I get to be all fluid and stuff, shape my body almost however I want, and I can run for way longer than a human without being tired.

What feels even more like cheating is that I don’t really feel pain any more. Ok, that’s not strictly true, but my pain response is quite different now. The most clear example of this was when I tripped and fell, and a metal bar went through my hand - there was of course a conditioned reaction of horror, pseudo pain, and panic, however after I calmed down I realised there actually hadn’t been any pain really. I tested it later with a knife, stabbing various parts of my body to experiment with how it felt, finding that yeah, being stabbed really didn’t hurt (it should be noted there was an amount of hyping up and worry and concern about it, given I was going to stab myself but hey it worked out). Of course, as part of this experimentation, I was curious about… more major wounds…. and so, after working up even more courage, I cut off a finger - now that hurt. I obviously can’t compare to what it feels like for a human body to lose a finger, never had that happen while I had one, but it definitely hurt a bunch. After reattaching the goo that had been my finger, and reshaping it into the digit again, I tried cutting off a piece of my hair, which similarly hurt, which was kind of unexpected, but it did hurt a little less than losing my finger. What I worked out is that slime pain response is tied to loss of matter, rather than breach of outer membrane or other such events like it is for humans. It’s definitely an interesting thing to have one of your fundamental responses reworked without you even really noticing it.

One thing that has become a pain though all of this is those little things humans can do that my new physiology just doesn’t allow for anymore, namely: sighing. You know that thing that humans do where after a long day/something tiring, they take a deep breath, and just kind of ‘let it all out’ - yeah, I can’t do that any more, and it’s honestly a little frustrating. I will say, I think it’s another hangover from when my body was human, as I tried to emulate breathing to see if it would help, and, asides from being very manual, didn’t really give the same feeling of relaxation that I used to get from exhaling like that, which sucks. I can still get the same feeling from just kinda, letting my form go a little, relaxing my solidity, but that’s not always practical if I’m doing stuff.

The other things that don’t really match up from being a human, are thoughts and feelings. Obviously, humans/those with human bodies often feel things in their head or heart when thinking or feeling things, however I’ve noticed that those feelings have shifted to all be centred around my core, which is odd, but affirming. There are still occasional phantom-like feelings sometimes, where the brain and heart roughly used to be, but they’re usually not as connected/fainter.

It would be remiss of me to fail to mention the few involuntary things/instincts that I have picked up over the course of my transition, especially if this is going to inform other slimes in the future. I’ll start with the most recent, which is basically what amounts to a reconfigured survival instinct - if something is going to hit my core, I reflexively move it out of the way. This is the most straightforward, it’s basically the ol’ hammer-knee reflex test, ‘cept y’know, with my core instead.

The other instincts are less… familiar to those with a human body. The first is predation instincts - which arguably humans would know, but I can’t really think of any moments I felt it while I had a human body, so, I think it will be somewhat unfamiliar to others undergoing this too. Now, despite what people might think, slimes are predators, or at least some of them are, and my subspecies is clearly - I’ve figured that likely, being a sap slime, the method was to sit in/on trees pretending to be sap, then either drop onto pray below, or just trap them when they came to eat the ‘sap’. Kinda makes me happy that even the type of slime I picked has kind of ‘mimicry’ stuff going on, which is kind of sister to shapeshifting, even if this kind in particular is only minorly related, but it still makes me happy. This predation instinct manifests in two ways - one, I now kinda like hanging out up high, and have found it quite nice to sometimes just climb up somewhere high and sit adhered to the surface (although there are some conflicts with my fear of heights, although I feel like the latter has lessened somewhat (because falling is less likely to be lethal now? Or because it’s my nature now to be up high?)). The other is I very much like throwing myself at people, or at very least have the impulse too. Interestingly, while of course in nature this is specifically for hunting, I’ve found myself drawn to do it even to friends - not to eat them, but like a slime-specific kind of hug, very all encompassing, I just want to leap at them and wrap my whole form around them to hug them. I do understand though, that - without warning, that would be at best surprising, and at worst taken as an attempt to eat them, so I’ve restrained myself from doing it to anyone, settling for more traditional ways of hugging.

The other instinct actually links into the pain I mentioned above, but I think I have an instinct to make sure I preserve as much mass as possible. The finger cutting I mentioned earlier, took more effort to get myself to actually do it than stabbing a knife through my body, literally, stabbing my torso just took a little bit to point out to myself that there was nothing to damage, meanwhile to cut off my finger, I was having to psyche myself up so much because my mind was just screaming at me not to (and y'know what, it was right, fuck that hurt). From there I kept noting what hurt and what didn't, and what triggered that survival-esque instinct, and it was always those things that would or could cause me to lose mass. 

Something a little lighter next (lopping bits off myself isn't exactly a happy topic): emotions! Turns out that different species show emotions differently, and we slimes definitely have some fun ones. First, it is worth noting that since I tend to maintain a humanoid shape, face included, I still emote like humans too, but I've now also got the slime ones too! 

I'd say the most notable one is anger, which was definitely an interesting discovery the first time it happened. The easiest explanation is that I ‘fizz’; air bubbles shoot up through my body, popping once they reach my head, whenever I get angry, the more angry the more dramatic the fizz.

Blushing's definitely changed too, although it kind of feels the same; instead of blood rushing to my face, my slime kinda condenses around my cheeks (wondering if the location is a hangover from being human, or if all slimes have this), becoming more opaque. Basically instead of red, I now blush orange.

While there are more, those two are the main ones, and the others are less distinct, nor that easy to describe, so I'll save the space here. 

What I will quickly add here, since it's at least tangentially related to emotions, is that I've found a couple new ways to stim with my new body. One is just idly altering my shape, usually just my hand, but honestly anything is fair game (look forward to seeing how that'll change/alter with shapeshifting), while the other is fiddling with my core. Do have to be careful with the latter, given if I mess up I could have to reform myself - don't think my core is liable to crack if I drop it, but I'd rather not find out. 

Going to round this out with the things I couldn't work out where else to put them, starting with audio/hearing.

Firstly, I'm pretty sure I can hear better, or at the very least, my audio location is better, since my hearing changed I can much more accurately pinpoint a sound. Figure that this is ‘cause that's how slimes would hunt naturally - slimes don't innately use sight to navigate, it's all vibrations, and sound is a really good one for that. The negative side of this is areas with lots of various sound sources can be really overwhelming, which has been something I've had to learn to manage, but it's something even some humans struggle with, so there's plenty of resources and info to help so it’s been something fairly easy to learn to cope with, compared to other things I’ve had to throughout this. 

What has been interesting has been finding my strength diminish as I've become gooier, after all, my muscles have literally become syrup. While this has been a little annoying at times, especially early on, I got used to it, and, as I got more goo I found that slime strength is apparently proportional to how much mass a limb has, but less in the ‘more muscular’ sense, and more in the same way a denser piece of wood is better for leverage, if that makes any sense. It's not that more mass makes me stronger, it's that it makes my body more capable of lifting/moving things, it's a little hard to explain without a demonstration or diagram but hopefully that has all made sense with just text. 

Lastly I do want to talk about something that isn't strictly slime related, but is something I've had to deal with within my transition, is my less than human shape I've taken. The main three that I’ve got sticking around are talons instead of feet, a tail with a fin, and wings. Obviously everything is made of slime, but when I get on my shapeshifting meds, I plan to add more texture and stuff to them.

The feet I've shaped for myself took some getting used to. They're kind of like bird feet - talons as I said above - and as such they kind of reworked how I walk around, and I definitely had some issues balancing with them at first while I learned how to manage them. I probably would have given up and just stuck with human feet if it hadn't felt so right walking around with my talons(feels nice to say that). I wish I could articulate the feeling better here but it's just that very simple feeling of ‘this is how I should be’. 

I also shaped myself a tail, which was one of the earliest phantom limbs I had, and it's similarly been wonderful to have. It's about as long as I am tall now (yeah, it's big, but I had to put the extra mass from shrinking myself somewhere (ignore that I seem to be able to squirrel mass away in my core and let me have this)) which is just super great… except for the fact that the human world has strongly not accounted for tailed individuals in their design of public spaces. Now, I could just shrink my tail down to fit, but damn it, I just got it, I'm not getting rid of it ‘cause humans are slow to adapt! But yes, it's been nice having the improved balance, especially with new feet and gelatinous legs, and grabbing things with it is also good fun, as well as quite useful too, and the fin is fun to flex. 

Finally, wings! Much like the others, it feels really nice to have them, and stretching them out is quite euphoric. My only complaint is that, due to their consistency, I can't actually fly with them. I have tried making them more solid and the like, but they just don't seem to be able to get me off the ground. I think the extra mass kinda stops the additional strength from being able to provide any more lift… or maybe I'm just too nervous about them not working. 

And with that I think that's everything I need to add into the journal here, and hopefully this helps anyone else with their treatment! So with that, guess I'll see you all in the next entry!  ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This took a while to get together, but hopefully I've now covered the majority of things that cropped up in my mind long after I'd written them down in their entries and added more of those little moments you get over a transition.

This is the actual last diary entry solely dedicated to the Slime portion of this, and as I said before, although there will be at least a couple more stories we have planned that are slime based, the next proper entry to this story will be the beginning of Shapeshifter/Polymorph hrt

First - Last - Next

Tag list under the cut (let us know if ya wanna be added)

@calliecwrites, @friedsputnik, @now-entering-the-goop-zone, @scrubbinn, @lilacinthefog,

@mint-and-authoress, @losttodreams, @redroversendjayover, @ariathelamia, @kanithecatdemon

[elminx]

DIY Egg Candle Molds For New Beginnings

I've been working on my candlemaking skills for a while now with mitigating success but these are the easiest candles I have ever made.

I really like these for all kinds of spring spell work. They would work perfectly for a Spring Solstice or May Day spell but I also see them as a perfect vessel for a spell to invoke new beginnings. I personally associate eggs with pure potentiality.

Here the goal is to create an egg candle with the "Seed" of your intention, then incubate your intention, and finally burn your candle to hatch your magic into the real world.

Note: This is not a magical how-to on how to CAST a spell, this is a how-to on how to make a vessel for your spell. I expect you to bring your own magic and traditions to this.

For this project you will need:

One egg (probably chicken but goose or duck works too)

A pokey tool

Candle Wax*

A wax-safe container for melting

A wick

Something to stabilize your eggshell (egg cartons work fine)

Scents, wax color, powdered botanicals (optional)

I'm assuming here that if you're interested in this project, you have some experience with candlemaking and the right tools to do so. If not, you can buy a basic candlemaking kit nearly anywhere on the internet that includes some wax, a wax boiler, and wicks. *I would suggest using beeswax for this candle as it will help the candle to maintain its shape as it burns. Soy wax has a low burn point and tends to melt which will deform the shape of your candle more quickly

1. Clean out your Egg

You need to make a small hole at the top of your egg with a pokey tool. I used a knife to make the hole and then inserted a chopstick to whip the insides so the yoke would come out. Pour out the egg (and eat it! Yumm!) and then wash it until the water running out of the egg runs clear. From this step, you want the inside of the egg to dry out - you can put it into a 200°f oven for two hours or let it sit out until it dries (it may take a couple of days depending on your humidity levels).

Letting your egg dry out isn't strictly necessary but if you don't take this step, the egg membrane will stick to your candle. This will make more work for you when you remove the egg mold later.

Note: My friend gave me two goose eggs to try, so I used them for this test run of egg-shaped candles. If you use chicken eggs, they will be significantly smaller (3/4 the size probably).

2. Heat wax in a double boiler until it is fully melted.

You can add in anything that supports your intention here: scents, coloring, or powdered herbs/flowers work well. (please practice good fire safety here and only add in things that are safe for candlemaking)

Note: if you are adding botanicals to your wax, you want to be very careful to make sure they are fully powdered or they may cause a fire.

3. Pour Your Wax

Place your eggshell mold in an egg carton for stabilization and carefully pour the hot wax into your mold. You want to fill to the top as much as you can - the wax may settle as it starts to cool so you may want to add more.

Note: the hole in your egg should be wide enough to accommodate pouring your wax. I used an extra flask funnel I had on hand to facilitate this process.

4. Add Your Wick

Let your wax cool slightly (approximately 10 minutes) and then add in your wick. With a chicken egg, you can use a birthday candle for this step or any wick that you have on hand. You can use a wick stabilizer or chopsticks to keep your wick in place while your wax hardens.

5. Cure Your Candle

Candles should cure for 7-10 days (for beeswax, this may differ for other types - do your research!) before you burn them. Though there is some debate on the internet, it is generally considered true that curing is a part of candle safety as a young candle that has not properly hardened can burn unevenly which may cause fires.

You can choose to begin the process of changing/incubating your candle (listed below) during the curing stage.

6. Remove Your Shell

Once your candle is done curing, it is time to remove the eggshell. For chicken eggs purchased from the grocery store, this should be a relatively easy process. Simply roll your egg candle on a hard surface until the shell cracks and then carefully peal the eggshell away from the wax.

If you are using non-chicken egg or a farm-fresh egg, the shell may be more difficult to crack. I used a goose egg for my candle so I had to use a tool to remove the shell - I used a dental pick that my partner uses for clay sculpting.

Take your time with this process, if you use tools, it is easy to scratch the surface of your egg.

7. Incubate/Charge Your Egg Candle

Unless you added magic during the wax step in this process (which is totally valid), this is where the major magic begins. You want to imbue your magic into the egg at this stage - this can be done in any way that suits your level of creativity and your personal practice. You can carve your intention directly into the wax or mark it with bindrunes or sigils. You can charge it with energy. You can dedicate it to a particular deity or spirit that you work closely with or set it on your altar. You can charge it in the sunlight or moonlight (beware of low-temperature wax and high heat from the sun here). You can make it a nest full of objects that represent your intentions.

The goal in this step is to build your intention by returning to your egg over a period of time (or, alternatively, letting it sit in a way that charges it) before you burn it to release this intention. You can use numerology here by choosing a number that aligns with your intentions, or begin your incubation on the new moon and burn your candle on the full moon.

Pro-tip here: Chicken eggs need to incubate for around 21 days so this is a good number to use if your mold was a chicken egg, or you otherwise work with chickens in your craft.

Note: This was a test on the applicability of this method, but I couldn't help but enchant my candle. I carved my intentions into my candle and then glued (with wax) dried violets onto my candle because I use violets in my craft to encourage transformation. I also used other methods to create a vessel for magic.

8. Use Your Charged Egg Candle in a Magic Ritual

The majority of work is already done here, the rest, as they say, is up to you. Because egg shells are round, you will need to find some way to stabilize the bottom of your candle while you burn it. You could choose to level the bottom of the candle or use any other method that works for you.

I happened to have a piece of pottery from a friend that made the perfect stand for an egg-shaped candle.

______________________________________________________________

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[fangsandfracturedhearts]

Fangs and Fractured Hearts

Chapter 14: Devil's Ploy

Summary: After embracing eternity as a vampire spawn under Astarion's wing, the Crimson Palace becomes a haunting symbol of the man he once was. As his personality unravels into a dark abyss, you flee. A year of hardship unveils the harsh reality of existence as a vampire spawn.

Just as all hope seems lost, a twist of fate reunites you with Astarion, revealing a glimmer of hope amidst the shadows. As you navigate the complexities of your relationship, you must confront the unsettling truth behind the Rite of Profane Ascension and the devilish secrets it holds.

In a race against time, you embark on a daring quest to save Astarion from his descent into darkness. With each choice you make, the stakes grow higher, testing the limits of your courage and determination.

Will Astarion find redemption, or is he destined to succumb to his own inner turmoil?

Word Count: 6k

Pairing: Ascended Astarion x female!Tav Spawn

Warnings: [Will try to continue to add more, but in general expect explicit content for mature audiences]

Possible spoilers. Eventual Explicit Content. Slow Burn. Thoughts of Suicide. Violence. Blood. Injury. Mature Content. Self-Harm. Mentions of in-game content. Completely fabricated camp events. Mentions of Astarion's Trauma.

If you notice a very critical tag missing, please don't hesitate to let me know

Rating: Explicit 18+ - [Meant For Mature Audience]

You snort and blink rapidly to clear your nose of the fetid sulphuric odour burning the membranes of your nostrils, throat and eyes. In the cramped, dimly lit sewers, where the air doesn’t stir, the stench of it lingers and never seems to dissipate.

When your vision finally becomes unimpaired by burning tears, the cambion and her fire-red hair, horns bedazzled with chains of gold, is leering at you with a conniving expression that makes your stomach sink. You’ve seen this expression on her plenty of times when she was scheming and plotting.

“Gods above,” you hiss with a rasp to your voice. “What do you want, Mizora? I thought I was good and done with your kind.”

“And here I thought we had all become such good friends,” she titters, feigning cordiality terribly. “You always did have so much… spunk. I’m happy death still hasn’t taken your lovely little spark.”

“You can ask Raphael all about my spark,” you smirk. Vivid blue lightning crackles and buzzes over your fingertips. “Oh, wait. You can’t because I killed him for seeing me as no more than a little mouse, a pawn, and I will do the same with you if you think you can play games with me.”

“Oh-yes,” Mizora giggles, not one iota ruffled by your threats. “All nine Hells were positively astir with the news of his demise. He always was such a pompous and over-confident twat, not unlike your master, I suppose."

Master. Ugh.

“I would be lying if I said it was nice to see you again, Mizora. If you will excuse me, I have my prey to hunt, and you’ve made me lose its trail.”

You can’t hear or smell Elowyn anymore. She will be deep into the ruin by now, or worse yet, in the Crimson Palace itself, but you still don’t understand what use she would have of that place. There is nothing left there but closed cells full of rotting gore that can never be opened again since you made Astarion break Cazador’s quarterstaff - Woe. Insofar as you’re aware, that was the only key to controlling everything.

“A great pity you’re in such a rush, pet,” Mizora snickers. Gods, you hate being called “pet.” You almost growl, but you’re too preoccupied with the rising feeling of foreboding swishing around in your stomach. You know that laugh and dread what’s about to come out of her mouth next. “I was going to offer to assist your Vampire Ascendant with his little… problem, but I suppose if you don’t want help… well, you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink. Ta-ta!”

“Wait!” You snap, whirling around. You’re going to regret this. “Wait… What do you know of Astarion’s ailment?”

“I thought that might get your attention,” she smirks smugly. “Let’s make ourselves more comfortable, shall we? You may be accustomed to living in such filth, but I am decidedly not.”

Mizora snaps her fingers, fire bursts to life all around you, and then you’re in a grand sitting room with glitzy settees, lounges and chairs. Rugs made of creatures you’ve never seen before litter the floor. Some appear reptile-like with scaly hides, others plush furs, others with feathers and more with something you can only begin to describe as some form of cartilaginous exoskeleton. They look at you with glassy, dead eyes ashine in their long-dead sockets.

It’s stiflingly hot, and you peer out of double doors leading to the terrace and take in the landscape. In the distance, black, jagged mountains pierce the horizon with peaks wreathed in an eerie crimson mist. Brimstone and fire dance in a perpetual inferno bordering a river made entirely of lava or possibly blood. It’s hard to tell from this height. The air is acrid and clouded with volcanic ash, and the sky flickers reds and oranges as fireballs race through clouds of darkest black.

“Avernus,” Mizora gushes. “Isn’t it beautiful?”

“I think I preferred the sewers,” you croak, wiping the sweat from your brow and going back inside. It does little to provide any comfort or liberation from the sweltering climate.

“Of course, sewer spawn,” she scoffs indignantly and drops unceremoniously onto a lounge. “It was your home for a little while. Wasn’t it? Until the Cleric and Wizard found you down there.”

“Have you been watching me this entire time?” You cross your arms and quirk a brow at her. “Do you have nothing better to do than derive pleasure from pain and suffering?”

“Oh, darling.” Her head falls back, and she laughs, “Of course! Who wouldn’t want to watch this little tragedy play out? It has been quite amusing thus far.”

“I’m glad you’re enjoying the show,” you bow sarcastically with a frown. “If you’re getting such a kick out of it, why are you meddling in my nightmare?”

“Sit. Won’t you?” She gestures toward the chaise. Mizora won’t tell you anything until you do as she asks. This is all part of her little game, after all. So, you sit with a roll of your eyes. “I would have been happy to watch until the vampire killed you, but alas, all good things must come to an end. Zariel and the other archdevils have other plans.”

Fuck. If another archdevil, or several, from the sounds of it, are getting involved, this is unlikely to be good. What got you here was another deal with an archdevil, but if there’s even a chance that something Mizora might tell you can give you somewhere to start, well, you can humour her.

“Which are?”

“Oh,” Mizora shrugs. “I don’t know, little lamb. I am merely a messenger.”

“Okay,” you comb your fingers through your sweat-dampened hair. She’s lying. You can see the hinting glint in her eyes. She knows more than she’s letting on. “Well, what is it you can tell me?”

The toothy, menacing smile that sidles across Mizora’s face should send you running. She sneers, “Tell me. What do you know of Mephistopheles?”

You shrug, “I know he is an archdevil, a rather powerful one. His domain is Cania. The Rite of Profane Ascension was a contract with him. Beyond that, I do not spend much time researching devils.”

“So, nothing then,” she pouts. “Well, allow me to enlighten you.”

Fire leaps to life in a circle, and Mizora’s eyes gleam with the keenness of a wild cat as you jump and get ready to defend yourself. Everything goes black except for the inferno burning around you.

As you watch the writhing blaze, depictions form in the leaping flames, moving against them. A towering devil with bright red skin, curling ram horns and massive bat-like wings jutting out from his back. He has an unnervingly charming smile, but it’s offset by cold, milk-white eyes that stare through you, making you shudder.

The figure paces around, muttering to himself and the empty grand halls around him. His eyes bounce around with feral neuroticism. He twitches, growls, hisses and waves his hand as if shooing away an annoying insect while snarling.

Abruptly, the fiery figure lets out a blood-curdling shriek and starts clawing at his skin, tearing gashes into himself until his skin is hanging in gruesome, dripping flaps from his arms and chest. Fire explodes in his palms, and he flings around bolts of Hellfire, instantly turning everything around him to ash. He pivots quickly and appears to be looking straight at you. He roars so loud you’re sure your eardrums have burst. He charges toward you with the ferocity of a rabid animal and a fireball barrels toward you.

Everything goes black, and you fall onto the floor by Mizora, who is snickering.

“What in the Hells was that?” You snap, getting up and getting in her face. You grab that fur collar in your hands and shake her, “What the fuck did I just witness?”

“Mephistopheles, for all his cunning and brilliance, is a deeply troubled individual. As you saw, he is neurotic and suspicious and often flies into fits of explosive and violent rage. Does that remind you of anyone?”

“… Astarion,” you breathe and stumble back. “Oh Gods…”

“Yes, pet.” Mizora nods with a fiendish cackle. “I can see you putting it all together. The Vampire Ascendant was an experiment of sorts. As you can imagine, these tendencies are not becoming of an archdevil. In an effort to rid himself of his neurotic temper, he needed a willing vessel to imbue with a portion of his nature. What better way to lure a willing participant than to offer unfathomable power?”

You collapse onto the chaise, wracking your fingers through your hair, “The Vampire Ascendant was nothing more than a way for Mephistopheles to offload his psychosis?”

Gods above. It makes so much sense. Astarion’s blind fits of rage. The voices in his head. The alternate version of him that sometimes takes control. You never got to see the whole contract. Did Raphael know about this and neglect to say it?

“But.” You add, looking at Mizora, “Astarion is himself some of the time.”

“Ah-yes,” Mizora snickers, glancing at her nails. “The vessel was never supposed to have an intact soul. It’s much easier to work with an empty cask than one that is already full, so to speak. A spawn was never supposed to usurp the ritual. I would say an oversight on Mephistopheles’ part, but truly, who could have imagined a spawn would get infected with a mind flayer tadpole that broke his master’s chains? Then, he just so happened to come upon a fine hero to help him. It’s all rather ludicrous sounding. Astarion’s soul is fractured but not completely eradicated. Well, not yet at least.”

“What do you mean not yet?”

“Think of it like this,” Mizora speaks to you slowly, as if you might not be smart enough to understand the metaphor slipping past her lips. “The entity is like an infection. It contaminates him, tainting everything from his thoughts, the platelets in his blood, to the marrow in his very bones, faster than his body can heal itself.”

“Why are you telling me all of this?” You’re starting to get suspicious. Where is the catch? The line she will hook you with?

“Can’t I just want to help out an old friend?” She pouts.

You glower at her and cross your arms, “No.”

“You were always so clever.” Mizora suddenly becomes serious, “Mephistopheles is a threat. Now that he is no longer burdened by his demons, he’s set his aspirations quite high. Too high for the liking of many of the archdevils. We would like to see him reunited with himself. It’s a very fine little deal. You get what you want to rid Astarion of the entity that’s eating him from the inside out, and we get to cage Mephistopheles back in the prison of his mind. A warning, pet. It will not be an easy road.”

“My life has never been easy. Why would it start now?” You sigh, “Tell me what needs to be done, and I will do it.”

“Such a good little spawn. Aren’t you? He’s killed you, tortured you, starved you, beat you, emotionally ruined you, and stolen your name, and you’re still willing to risk yourself to save him?” Mizora giggles, “I would say it was a true love story in the making were it not so fucking tragic.”

“What do you mean stolen my name?” You growl, cocking your head at her, “I have a name!”

“Oh,” she snickers, “Then tell me, pet. What’s your name?”

“My name…” You trail off, wracking your brain for the word. It’s right there, sitting precariously on the tip of your tongue. “My name… It’s… It’s…”

Mizora’s laughter is a haunting melody, a sinister cackle in a chilling symphony. That sound could freeze the blood of the bravest soul and make the earth tremble, “You can’t remember it. Can you?”

You replay old conversations in your head. You can see Shadowheart’s lips moving, but then there’s a sudden silence where all you hear is white noise even though she’s still talking. It’s the same with conversations with Gale, just white noise in the place where your name should have been.

Astarion stole your name from you… When did that happen, and why can’t you remember? What else has he stolen from you?

“What’s my name,” you swallow the thick odium that’s erected itself into your throat. You shriek, rage sweeping through you in a gust of hatred, “What my name, Mizora! Say it!”

Mizora smiles haughtily and speaks. You focus with every iota of your capacity, watching her lips move, but it is as you feared. Your ears hear nothing but the breathy whisper of silence, and your eyes seem unable to read the phonetics on her lips.

You’re his darling. His sweet girl. His precious treasure. His consort. His nameless spawn.

And yet, you’re still prepared to sacrifice your life.

Yes, a very good little spawn, indeed.

“It doesn’t matter,” you mutter, clenching your chest as a tendril of sadness wraps around your heart and chokes it. “What do I have to do?”

“Before we can do anything about Astarion. We must first unbind him from his contract.” Mizora says, eyes narrowing, fixed on you. “I don’t care how you do it, but you must get Astarion’s contract from Mephistopheles. Steal it. Bargain for it. The choice is yours, but you must do it fast. There’s no way to know how much time before Astarion is lost forever.”

Mizora deposits you back into the sewers, and her voice bounces off the stony passageways, “Tick-tock, tick-tock, pet.”

You consider continuing to try to track Elowyn, but you’re reeling with information and cannot fathom how you would even begin to concentrate on her. She must be dealt with. That is certain, but it must wait until your mind isn’t fraught and unsettled.

How are you supposed to get Astarion’s contract from Mephistopheles? Bargaining for it should be your last resort, but how do you get to Cania, the eighth layer of the Nine Hells, survive it long enough to sneak into Mephistar and somehow sneak through an archdevil citadel? It seems like an impossible task.

Should you tell Astarion? He would usually be the first person you ran to for help with a heist, but he’s unlikely to let you go, even if it is the only means to save him from inevitably losing himself entirely. You can’t risk Astarion forcing you to stay, but you might not be able to risk going to the Hells without him. The Vampire Ascendant will likely be an invaluable asset if you meet resistance. But if he loses himself, you might not survive Astarion’s wrath long enough to get where you’re going. Whether that thing inside him is a separate entity or a version of himself that’s been infected and corrupted, you doubt it will take kindly to you trying to remove it.

Do you approach Shadowheart? You would be putting her in great peril, but she might be able to help with research. This is your mistake to fix, and you don’t relish putting your friend’s lives on the line. Karlach and Wyll are in the Hells. They may be able to help ascertain a way to get to Cania, but you’ll need to figure out how to contact them.

And Good Gods, your name…

The silent corridors echo with the foreboding sound of your heavy footsteps like the ominous rumble of an approaching storm as you work through the maze of gangways and channels. Tears stroll in rivulets down your snowy cheeks, liquid poetry to express all the emotions you can’t.

Dejection. Grief. Fear. Defeat. Loss.

Lost in the spiralling thoughts, you forget to look to the sky as you drag your weary body home. The only thing you want right now is to curl up in the strong arms of Astarion and let him hold your broken pieces and fears together because you’re not sure if you can do it by yourself.

The sun cracks the skyline, the first rays of the soft light of an autumn day embracing the streets, but the sun no longer embraces you. It blinds and broils you. Your skin glows, flakes, and melts. Deep, molten silver-blue channels crack in your arms, legs and face. The pain is so intense you can’t even remember to scream as you stand, waiting for your skin to slough off your bones and cover the street with ash.

You don’t remember reaching out to the bond with Astarion, but his voice fills your head, “Gods above. What in the nine Hells are you doing!? ” Astarion bellows. Panic infects his usual halcyon timbre, “Find shelter! I’m coming!”

The pain is all-consuming. You can’t move, can’t think, can’t speak as your nerves are melted away. Your skin dissolves like water evaporating under the sun’s heat. Every inch of your skin is being flayed in a single moment that lasts forever.

You will die nameless and alone.

“Fuck! Find shelter. Now!”

Astarion’s compulsion overrides everything else, and your body moves stiffly to obey the command even as it smokes and your skin is loosened from your frame, liquifying and dripping off your arms and legs, turning to ash in midair and being carried away by the morning breeze.

Find shelter. Find shelter. Find shelter.

Your instructions resound in your head even louder than the pain that falls to a buzz in the background. You can’t even blink as your fingers curl around the boards of a long-abandoned shack. Gods. Are those your fingers? Is that bone you see? You wrench the board off the window. The pads of your fingers squelch and ooze. When you throw the boards down, your skin sticks to them, peeling away in rangy, fibril bands like gum. Thank the Gods, you lack the capacity to mull it over much as your body throws itself inside without your consent.

With the order completed, there is a brief moment of pure, blissful euphoria - a reward for being so very obedient. The compulsion pales, the vines recede, and you’re pitched back into the residual agony that has yet to abate.

Now that the sun is no longer skinning you alive, the pain has lessened, and you remember how to scream. An inhumane noise rends your throat somewhere between a shriek and a wail. Your head lolls to the side, and your eyes fall to your arms.

You immediately wish they hadn’t.

Your skin is not the smooth pearlescent you’re used to seeing now that the colour it once held has faded to death’s grip. It’s powdery and matte. You’re sure you’re looking at the bones of your forearms in the chasmal rifts.

You hear white noise in your head, murmuring over the bond. It feels like Astarion is trying to contact you, but you hear no words. To get your thoughts off the pain still being recited by your nerves, you shift your focus to the emotions in your head, trying to sift through them. Astarion’s heartbeat in your chest is excruciating. It hammers with the intensity of a blacksmith striking an anvil. He’s petrified, bordering on hysterical.

You reach out in your head, “Astarion?”

“Little love!” He howls. You must remember to request he not attempt to dissolve your brain matter. “Why haven’t you been answering me?”

“Where are you?” 

“Close, my treasure.” 

You don’t know how much time elapses as you bounce between consciousness and dissociation while focusing on not moving. The less you move, the better for you, but your limbs and muscles seem to jerk and twitch without your consent, and every time, it sends another agonizing swell of suffering to break over you. Teardrops flutter on your lashes, but you can’t move to wipe them away.

Your ears pick up the thudding tempo of Astarion’s beating heart before he bursts through the door, scattering the planks and showering splinters in his haste. Astarion drops to his knees beside you. He visibly shudders as his eyes land on you, slumped against a wall.

“Hells,” he breathes, chest heaving from exertion. You can feel his horror in your head, but you need not. It’s evident in his shaky and rapid speech, “It’s okay. I’m here. I’m here. You’re safe. Look at me, darling.”

Why, after everything he has done to you, is his proximity so remarkably comforting? You let your eyes roam over him and truly appreciate the beauty before you. His scarlet eyes, dazzling like vivid, perfectly polished jewels ashine behind… tears? No. That doesn’t seem right. Your vision is blurred from your eyes being boiled in their sockets. You must be imagining the tears, but his eyes are beautiful nonetheless. His sculpted, full lips, which once held the promise of an eternity of silk kisses, are downturned at the corners. You would give anything to run your fingers along them right now, feel them on your skin, taste them on your tongue. He is breathtaking, quite literally.

“Sweetheart.” Astarion reaches to you. His fingers tremble as they hover below your jaw. He knows it will hurt if he touches you, “Can you hear me?”

You answer in his head because moving the muscles in your face to make you capable of speech will hurt, “Yes. I hear you.”

“I can compel you to not feel the pain, to sleep, but I need your permission.” His eyes bore into you. His voice is a favourite dream you long to slip into, “Please.”

It’s dangerous permission to give. You’ve told him you will leave if he compels you again, but he just did, didn’t he? He compelled you to find shelter when you could not do it yourself. He compelled you from afar. He does not need to be near you to force commands upon you. He can wrap your brain and body around his finger like twine from anywhere, anytime, on a whim. But Gods, you will do anything to make this pain end, to drift away from this fucking nightmare.

“Do it.”

Immediately, you feel your control funnelling away, like sand through an hourglass.

“You feel no pain,” he purrs, and the pain vanishes as your nerve endings deactivate. It’s a blissful respite, and you sigh. “Thank you for trusting me. Sleep now.”

Your brain shuts off. Darkness claims you, and Hells below, you welcome it.

“Wake.”

The directive floats through your comatose mind like a beam of light cuts through the pitch-blackness of nullity. Your faculties burst to life, waking one by one, unfurling like a blooming flower. The first thing you feel is hunger so painful that your body jerks to collapse in on itself as your limbs jolt and tremor insuppressibly. Excruciating cramps make your toes curl and your hands ball into fists. Your mind is raving, mad with hunger. You consider biting your tongue if only for the sweet succour of that crimson elixir.

You cannot think of anything other than the sensation of your insides gnawing on themselves, the paralyzing contracting of every ligament and tendon in your body, the desiccation that’s withered your tongue, and the grave need to feed - on anything and anyone.

Another spasm causes you to lurch and claw at your skin like you could dig yourself out of this ailing body. Warm hands clasp your wrists, and all your mind can think is warm means alive, and alive means blood. Your eyes snap open, but your addled brain simply cannot process the visual input, and you don’t think twice before fire erupts from your palms.

“Shit!”

You hear it, but you do not process it. As soon as the grip on you rescinds, you lunge at this figure before you whose beating heart is thrumming the provocative siren song of life and food. Colliding with it is like being throttled into a brick wall, but you waste no time fumbling and climbing with bared fangs. You’re so close to that beautifully pulsing vein, and it’s the only thing your eyes can focus on.

Stomach bubbling with hunger, you go to bite, jaws snapping and slobbering like a feral beast. As soon as your fangs hover within striking distance, your body arrests, and you’re instantaneously immobilized.

Strong arms wrap around you, lift, and sink you to the floor. A hand cradles your cheek, and the branching blue-purple veins make you swoon. You think about biting them only to have your body freeze up on you further. It guides your eyes to vivid crimson irises that spark recognition and reason back into your dazed lucidity.

“Astarion…”

“Stop thinking about biting me,” he chuckles and shifts you to the side. “You’ll be able to move again.”

“What?” You would quirk a brow at him, but you’re too focused on trying to push your intentions of biting him away. They do not concede to your urges, and you find your eyes wander without your permission to any vein that might be in striking distance. Astarion always gently walks your errant gaze back to his. “You haven’t compelled me?”

“Ah. Apologies. I do forget how new you are to this.” Astarion reaches for something on the dresser to his right, “No. This is not a compulsion. As my…” he trails off.

“Spawn.” You state with a palpable despondency threaded between the fog of hunger that looms over you.

“I do hate that word,” he shakes his head with discontentment as if he does not want to face the reality of what he has turned you into. “You are physically unable to bite me without my permission. Your body simply will not allow you to do it. Which is why you currently cannot move.”

Astarion holds a goblet out to you, and your stomach is set on fire by the iron sharpness that wafts from the syrupy, bright red nectar. It breaks you away from your absorption of sinking your fangs into Astarion’s flesh, and you snatch it out of his hands and drink with mindless gluttony.

The blood is fresh, hot and rich as the liquid rushes into your mouth. It waterfalls through your body, unknotting the snarls in your muscles, dissolving away the relentless twist of your stomach, and replacing the bloodlust hysteria in your mind with a sultry buzzing.

Astarion’s already holding another goblet, and you throw the empty one to the side and close your eyes as you guzzle. The blood is buttery and decadent. It’s hundreds, nay, thousands of exquisite dishes in a single swallow. It’s like a summertime dawn on your tongue. The wet warmth of it sinks between your thighs, settling with a molten throbbing in your core, and you moan at the pure bliss.

Astarion slips the goblet from your fingers once you’ve finished, and you look at him with half-lidded eyes. You rack your brain for memories of the few times you’ve tasted the blood of thinking creatures. You bit a few in the battles between when he turned you and the Netherbrain, but you cannot remember any of them ever tasting that deliciously arousing.

“That wasn’t animal blood,” you state, almost slurring. You feel drunk, or maybe Astarion is just intoxicating to look at while he mesmerizes you with those red eyes and perfect lips that foretoken pleasure. “Who did you just feed me?”

“No, it was decidedly not animal blood,” he grins as you adjust on his lap and straddle him. You’re not entirely sure what you’re doing in your desirous daze, and you trace the perfect bow of his lips as he speaks. “It was my blood.”

“You are delectable,” you giggle as your fingers help themselves and start fiddling with the buttons on his chemise. As your muddled mind starts to make sense of what he just said, you’re tripped up. You stare at him with a slack jaw and round eyes.

“The look on your face is priceless, darling,” he giggles and glances down at your roving hands as they push open his shirt and trace the defined muscles. Astarion’s fingers trace down your neck, sending shivers down your spine and making you squirm on his lap in wanton desperation for even the most minuscule friction to sate the ache, “I told you that you would taste me, and I you. It will not make you a True Vampire, though, if that’s what you’re wondering.”

Right now, you could not care less about being a True Vampire. There is very little on your mind except how his skin feels on your fingers and how extraordinary he would feel stretching you.

You bury your face in the crook of his neck, inhaling his scent deeply, placing slow kisses up the column. His fingers curl into the silk nightdress he must have changed you into at some point as he groans.

“Whatever are you doing?” He mutters near your ear, pressing his cheek to yours.

“I want you,” you sigh as you curl your fingers into his hair.

“You just attacked me,” he swallows.

“Then, let me apologize,” you grind against his hardening length in a way that makes you both gasp.

“You’ve been asleep for a week,” he mumbles, even as his arms wrap around you, tugging you close. “You have no idea how close you were to dying. Truly dying.”

You should probably be concerned with how long he kept you asleep since your time is limited, but you don’t care. You can’t care. You’ve never been quite so high on blood, on him. He is the light, darkness and blood that runs through your veins, and good Gods, you will give him everything.

“So, wake me up,” you purr as you push his shirt over his shoulders and run the flat of your tongue up his neck, relishing the salt of his skin. “Touch me like only you can. Love me like only you do. Help me feel alive, Astarion.”

Astarion pulls you back, cradling your face with this thumb pressed gently under your chin, drawing your eyes to his, and you stare at him through narrow, seductively hooded eyes like a love-sick pup. He traces your lips with his thumb, and you catch it in your mouth and suck.

“Hells,” he rasps darkly with a sharp inhalation.

You feel the offering call of the bond, and you don’t hesitate to throw it open. That beautifully overwhelming frisson shatters through you as Astarion’s lips catch yours in an eager, bordering on frantic kiss. He snakes his hand into your hair, holding you firmly against his vehement embrace. His tongue darts into your mouth, and a guttural groan thunders in his chest. His kiss is unusually clumsy, lacking the artistry and mastery he typically possesses, and your teeth click together with your greed for each other. You roll your hips, sinking your clit against his length, and your head falls back as white-hot sparks of want rupture behind your eyelids.

As far as you’re concerned, he is the definition of desire. His lips, his hands, and his taste are the only things that can bring you back to life from this deathless death, and you’re sure that you could never get close enough to him. Even with every curve of your body pressed into every contour of his, it still wouldn’t be enough. Nothing is sweeter than the serene sin of the kisses his lips press against your throat.

You peel off your nightdress, and your fingers tug at the opening of his breeches, graceless in your wild hunger to be filled, to be taken, to be his. Astarion quirks his hips up and pulls them down his hips, freeing his cock. The head glistens with evidence of his arousal. With no warning or hesitation, you sink his full length into you. The heavenly stretch makes you cry out and dig your fingers into his chest.

“Fuck,” he breathes, heavy, ragged and uneven. The pads of his fingers find your swollen flesh, sweeping and circling, and you get lost in the divine stimulation.

You set a slow, teasing pace, rising and sinking back down onto him as you delight in feeling the ridges of his head with every languid pump. Astarion pants as he lets out breathy moans. He brings a hand to your hip, trying to urge you to move quicker.

“Good Gods,” he whimpers, his gaze glossed with desire. “Have mercy.”

You are starving for pleasure, famished, and you will take it how you want it. With a warning growl, you grasp his wrist and pin it above his head to the wall. Astarion grins at your dominance and doesn’t fight it. He murmurs something unintelligible as you plunge onto his cock, and stares reverentially through thick lashes, drinking you in as you forfeit all rational thought.

Time runs away with you. You could have been riding him for hours or seconds, but eventually, your savouring pace turns reckless and erratic. Astarion bucks his hips in time to meet yours as the sound of smacking flesh, wanton cries and panting is all that fills your ears and head.

Astarion’s fingers tremble and quake against your sensitive bud, his skin sheens with sweat and his breath hitches. When you finally unpin his wrist, he clutches your hips and guides you to continue the tempo that is driving you perilously close to the edge.

His breath starts to come faster, panting hot and crude, fanning across your sweat-veiled skin. Scarlet eyes devour you as you chase your release in his lap. He penetrates you - Harder. Deeper. Animalistic.

“Oh shit—” His eyes snap open wide, almost in a look of blissful confusion. In your rapture, you barely notice the way his lips move, but you hear nothing but white noise. “I’m going to— Gods. I think I’m going to—“

A shuddering gasp escapes his lips, his body suddenly tensing beneath you. The look of ecstasy that washes over his face is enough to hurl you over the precipice, and you cry out with him. Between your walls clutching and spasming, you feel his cock twitching and pulsing, flooding you with his seed. His arms wrap around you, and you cling to him with a grip that would surely bruise. He crushes you against him as you’re both overwhelmed with pleasure so pure you think maybe it would have killed you were you not already dead.

As the intoxication of your climax fades, you sag into him, pressing your forehead against his neck. You close your eyes, breathing in the fragrance of his sweat, and focus on the rise and fall of his chest. It would be nice to stay in this darkness, snug and safe and home in his embrace, with the bond open so you can remain one pale star against the dusk of reality.

And then you remember the white noise from the moving lips of Shadowheart, Gale, Mizora, and him … You pull back abruptly, breaking out of Astarion’s arms and staring at him, tears teeming in your eyes. Astarion’s confusion is evident on his face and through the connection.

“What’s wrong?” He asks. You can feel him trying to figure it out in his head. It’s such an odd sensation, almost like your emotions are being poked and prodded. “What did I do?”

“Say my name,” you whimper, focusing on his lips.

“What?” His eyes bounce around as his brows pull down.

“My name,” you repeat with a quivering lip. “Say it.”

Astarion’s lips move, and… nothing. All you can hear is the buzzing, fizzing hiss of white noise coming from his mouth.

“Again.”

“I don’t understand —“ He yet again opens and closes his mouth with only a droning hum. Your fingers clamber against his lips, pushing his mouth open as if you might be able to grasp the word as it leaves his tongue. “Whatever is the matter?”

He doesn’t even know, you realize. He has no idea that he’s stolen your name just as he stole your life. You find some comfort in knowing that it wasn’t this version of him that did it, at least. You stare off dejected as everything rushes back to you like a slap across the cheek.

Mizora. The Hells. Mephistopheles. The Contract. The ticking clock. Your name.

“My love,” Astarion’s fingers curl into your hair, and he ushers your eyes to his. “Did I harm you? Please. Tell me what’s troubling you."

“I don’t remember my name,” the tears spill out of your eyes. “You stole it from me.” 

Big thank you for everyone who takes the time to read/reblog/comment, and all the other magnificent things. As always, I hope you enjoy this, darlings!

AO3 [Crossposted]

Master List of Chapters: Fangs and Fractured Hearts

If you're interested I write another fic with Spawn Astarion x Tav called - Shadows of the Past

Small Notes:

So... does she tell him what Mizora revealed?

[cyclorose]

Sebastian Solace Design 🐟

1st pic I made in a rush trying to see how his features looked like. 2nd pic I made yesterday :3

bit of explanation I guess (I am a newbie to pressure, but the idea of draiwng him appealed me) BELOOOWEW 🔽🔽

Head is angler fish shaped, as well as the teeth. I think I'll add multiple rows in the future

Hair is flowy. I added some freckles to his design and they're bioluminescent. Added some gills as well

He has spikes that reach form the top of the headlight to the bottom of his tail

He has fish membranes on his arms, and possibly would add it to his hands, not sure

I made the 3rd arm more human like, it's rotten but still can somehow function

He communicates via telekinesis, can only grunt when he tries to talk

[bazookaboi]

AUTISM CREATURE RANT [PART II]

(I may continue this hunting strategy part because I wrote this a while ago and I may add or redo a few more things later).

HUNTING STRATEGY:

Featured in the image above: An Autismus niveus niveus pouncing upon its prey.

TBH-A1 is an expert at detecting even the slightest sign of movement around it, even in stormy weather. Its big eyes, facial disk, sense of smell, and numerous whiskers allow for excellent capture of stimuli. Here’s how:

Eyes: These big, dark, front-facing sensory organs receive as much available light in the area as they can, allowing for excellent night vision. This is partly because TBH-A1’s eyes posses a large amount of photoreceptive cells, equivalent to rod cells back on our planet, and also due to their large size in general, which allows for more light to be detected. They also posses a thin, reflective membrane in their eyes akin to a tapetum lucidum.

Facial Disk: although not visible due to its coat, the TBH-A1’s ears are positioned near its eyes. The facial disk helps gather sound like a mini-satellite dish of sorts, helping channel sound waves towards the ears. It’s much like when you cup your hands against your ears to hear better.

Sense of smell: The TBH-A1’s olfactory receptors can pick up on the most minute details about their prey and environment. This is useful for detecting sent trails left by other fauna in its habitat. Since potential prey is much less prevalent in this icy region, this is very useful for tracking them over long distances; wasting less time and energy searching for them. Avoiding larger predators is also easier.

Whiskers: These long, specialised feather/hairs also help gather information about its environment. They are equipped with multiple nerve endings and are very sensitive to stimuli like touch, temperature and vibrations in the air. With these, detection of potential threats or potential prey is more effective due to the small vibrations that they cause when moving.

A side effect that this excellent detection of stimuli poses is that the TBH-A1 may get overwhelmed if there is too much of it. This will evidently stress it out. This is dangerous for the TBH-A1 because it is vulnerable in this state, and can get injured or killed more easily. In fact, some prey in its area have developed the ability to make noises that are specifically designed to deter an attacking TBH-A1. This is one of the reasons why it has developed to quietly stalk and kill its prey quickly…

Although it is constantly travelling to find a fresh meal, The TBH-A1 is an ambush predator. When it spots potential prey, it will first start to carefully assess the scene; studying the prey item with undivided attention. TBH-A1 determines its size, its smell, its age, estimating how much energy would be needed to take it down to see if it’s worth wasting… etc. Then, if the TBH-A1 decides that the prey item is worth its time, it will move in for the kill. It moves closer very slowly, crouched low to the ground, pausing if the prey’s vision drifts near where it resides. It’s lightly-coloured pelt camouflages perfectly with the snow around it, and it’s wide, fluffy, snowshoe-like feet muffle its already soft steps. TBH-A1 will usually choose a path contrary to the wind direction to avoid the detection of its sent. Every moment it makes is carefully calculated. Once close enough, it will pounce in a burst of speed, not letting the startled prey item know what hit them before it’s too late. Its serrated retractable claws extend, hooking onto the prey with ease, and before the unlucky victim can utter a sound, the TBH-A1 delivers a killing blow by sinking it’s sharp, cusped maxillary and mandibular frontal plates (it’s equivalent of incisors and canines) into the prey’s neck, and ripping its throat out with the help of strong neck muscles.

It will then proceed to eat its prey.