#when he tried to get to her from the states all the way to germany

[albiclalepsza]

thankfully the authorities in Vienna managed to avert the danger but still. The thought of the biggest musician on the planet feeling the need to carry an army grade bandage on her all the time is sickening

[xxzlushiez]

Can you do tom x f!reader who's in the band and they were always like bestfriends no feelings for eachother or anything but as they get older like around 2007/08 he starts to realize he's totally in love w/ reader and tries to get rid of his feelings by sleeping w/ a bunch of girls but nothing helps because he can only think of reader? And they end up going to a party together and having fun and shii and then they end up on a balcony outside just drinking out of solo cups totally plastered and tom confesses to reader and kisses her but reader is super shocked and surprised and doesn't really know what to say so she doesn't kiss him back and just stares at him, and he doesn't take it very well he's just like "...oh.." and then gets up and reader tries to stop him and he's like "no, no I'm just gonna go back to the party" and stumbles out w/ a broken heart but in reality reader liked him back too but didn't know she did until he confesses so over the next few weeks she realizes how much she's in love with him and she goes to his room to tell him all romantic and shit and they end up having soft sex (or not wtv you're comfortable with) ty sm!! I love your writing btw!

EEEHHHH THIS IS SO CUTE IM SO EXCITED TO DO THIS (and tysm for the compliment❤️)

Miscommunication

T! Kaulitz x F! Reader

Synopsis: you and Tom have always been good friends, but he realizes he wants to be more..what’ll happen when those feelings don’t falter?

Notes: 18+, Name is in the band, flashbacks to ‘Devilish’, drinking, getting drunk, concerts, parties, jealousy, talks of unrequited feelings, Tom being a attention whore💀, insecurities, platonic! Bill x reader, oral, soft sex, underlying sub! Tom (I hate using that word but idk how else to describe it???)

A/N:tysm Anon for requesting and I hope this lives up to your expectations, I decided to right this in normal style instead of bullet points, I hope you don’t mind. This is was frustrated I wanted to get it out on the 3rd😭 bro this is a few days later and it took so long because i just hate the way it turned out im so pissed at myself rn

“I act like I don’t care, that’s cause I don’t care”

For as long as you’ve lived you and Tom have stuck together like glue, you lived a few streets away but being one of the only kids their age in the neighborhood it was hard for you to not gravitate towards them.

You guys weren’t exactly alike, but more like you complimented each other, he was all brash and broody like almost every other boy going through puberty and you were kind and sweet always helping whenever it was needed.

Soon you were invited into a band that consisted of two other troublemaking kids you hadn’t met yet, you traveled around to small talent shows and state fairs to perform music. It was a rough start; you weren’t popular by any means and were made fun of for what you liked to do.

It didn’t get to you like it got to Tom yet you let him rant and yell about it to you because you knew, along with everyone else, that it was just a matter of time before you five would be praised for your talents instead of bullied.

And you were, your band became a hit, Devilish became Tokio Hotel, garage performances became studio practices, and backyard shows slowly became country-wide concerts. Tom also changed, from a little boy who would yell at anyone who messed with his friends to a teen that couldn’t even bother with people hating.

It was different, you were all different, but it was a good difference. Bill became confident, Tom became more open, Gustav wasn’t shy, and Georg was well…Georg was amazing to begin with, it just doubled. The few fans that consisted of you guy’s parents and a few old neighbors became thousands, girls and boys alike paid to come and watch the five of you perform live.

When 2009 rolled around you were known across all of Germany and a few other countries. You couldn’t have been more successful, as the years progressed Tom morphed into someone completely different. Everyone knew of his reputation, a boy who had a new girl in his car every day.

You guys didn’t drift per se, but you didn’t talk about all the things like you used to. That was okay, some things are better left unsaid, but it was weird. You both used to talk to each other about everything and it just changed so suddenly it left you confused for a while.

But you learned to accept the fact that he wasn’t the same and took advantage of that time to get closer to the rest of the band, especially Bill. He became your number 1, always there with you whether it be shopping to helping you get ready. This was one of those instances where you ended up in your shared hotel room with him and Tom.

“This is going to look really good on your Name I promise!”

You let Bill practice his makeup skills on you, a little hesitant at first because of the particular style but when you saw how his face lit up when you agreed you couldn’t say no. Bill also said the style suited you perfectly.

Tonight, was particularly special compared to other nights. It was a large party hosted by a company in celebration of Tokio Hotel’s rise to fame. Bill made it a goal to doll you up in fancy lipstick and glittery eyeshadow before leaving, which Tom wasn’t too keen on.

“Bill hurry up the party starts in like 20 minutes.”

You looked over a Tom from the corner of your eye. He was sprawled out on your bed flicking through the channels on the hotel’s tv. He was already ready and had been ready for at least an hour now.

“Be patient Tommy not everyone can just wear whatever they find on the floor.”

Bill let out a laugh when he saw how offended his brother got at your insult before turning back and applying pretty shade to your lips.

“Tom wah wah hurry up the party starts in 20 minutes blah blah blah!”

He mocked his brother in a high-pitched voice before pulling his brother from the bed and onto the hard floor with a thump! grabbing your hand and running out of the room leaving him behind as you laugh.

“What the fuck you two! Get back here, I’m literally your ride to the party!”

———

The party was boring if you were being honest. But that was probably just you. There was no one you knew except the band and some celebrities and they were all doing their own thing so you were stuck lying on one of the many plush sofas the company had lying around.

Your eyes trailed over to Tom as he walked towards you, handing you a vibrant red solo cup while he settled himself next to you on the couch, moving your legs to lay comfortably over his lap while you stared at the contents of the cup.

“What’re you doing just sitting here? You’re always in the mood to party.”

He was right, you loved to party. It was one of the only times you could let loose when on tour. Today you just weren’t feeling it like you usually were.

“I don’t know, I think it’s the fact that I ordered a Pina Colada and got vodka. But who knows.”

He hummed as he absentmindedly observed the area. Tom had an unusual habit of wanting to be around you but never talking, preferring silence, it never bothered you so you let your head lay against the armchair swirling the drink around in your hand as you observed him.

He was never really good at taking your compliments, always avoiding them in some way with a “What’re you talking about?” Or the “Name just shut the fuck up”. You figured it had to do with the whole ‘I’m too cool for compliments’ thing he had going on, but it never stopped you from slipping up and saying something every once in a while.

“You're so beautiful Tom” and he was, honestly. His eyes reflected the neon lights that flashed above giving him that euphoric effect, the curves and dips of his face were perfectly sculpted to him. His true smile was so unbelievably cute, one that only you and the band had the pleasure of seeing, and his laugh…oh my god his laugh. You were definitely drunk. Whatever.

He gave you a quick side eye at the sudden praise before getting up and grabbing the cup out of your hand successfully spooking you.

“Let’s go smoke.”

‘Let’s go smoke’ was usually his way of saying “you're being annoying, let's get high” but you nodded and took his waiting hand as he led you through the busy crowd and out some double doors.

When out on the fairly sized balcony he grabbed a joint from out of one of the side pockets on his pants, while you flicked open your lighter that you had found stuffed under some gum and candy wrappers in your handbag.

He always enjoyed it when you smoked together, the delicate flame illuminated your face just enough to see the features that he’d always admired. Maybe that’s why he hated it when you complimented him, because he always wanted to do the same but couldn’t. 

Nervousness wasn’t something he felt. There was no reason for him to be nervous. Nerves were for insecurity, anxiousness, that was bullshit to him, well until it came to you, and that oh so familiar feeling bubbled up in his stomach when you looked at him under the dim light.

He concluded that he had a thing for you pretty early on, when he was about 16. One time you pulled a fan on stage that you told the band you found particularly attractive. Bill teased you and Georg and Gustav laughed as you all made your way to the bus, but he stayed back. Deciding that the pit in his stomach wasn’t jealousy like he thought it might be and just that natural protective feeling for a friend.

He didn’t want to think about the possibility that he liked you. You’d always been best friends and that was how it was supposed to say. He remembers how Bill would always tell him “Being best friends with someone like Name isn’t a good idea” because he wouldn’t wanna be just friends. Bill was right and that scared him.

After that realization he took notice of who he gravitated towards in hookups, they all looked in some way, like you. He thought it was weird. It wasn’t like he selectively picked out the ones with similar features as you…right?

“-Tom, are you listening? Pass the joint you hog”

You plucked the blunt from his hand and he stared as you inhaled some of it, releasing the air into his face, looking at him with a weird expression. You watched him stride forward and suddenly his lips were pressed against yours.

You pulled away after a few antagonizing seconds and hesitantly looked at him. You saw the way his face dropped, probably realizing what he just did. Shit.

“Tom I... you're drunk. It’s fine, okay? You won’t remember this in the morning let’s just...let’s just go home, okay?”

That nerve quickly turned into frustration as he rolled his eyes turning towards the entrance and muttering something under his breath before pushing through the doors back into the party, leaving you alone on the cold balcony with a burnt out joint and heart.

———

It had been a few weeks since the incident on the balcony, and you concluded that he did remember it the day after as he wouldn’t talk or even be around you alone. It was fine at first, but by the time the second week rolled around it was starting to affect everyone else. 

His performance was slower than normal, and he brought more girls to the hotel who unsurprisingly leaked where he was were staying and crowded around the hotel to catch a glimpse of the five of you.

He was being so unprofessional; he didn't give you time to voice your feelings about what happened and just up and left you in the dark. Like how do you even bring that up?

“Hey Tom, yeah I know that I didn’t kiss you back even though you totally unexpectedly pounced on me and it looked like I rejected you because I thought you were full-on plastered but like I’m in love with you so could you stop ignoring me?”

Yeah, that’s a no. So, you just endured it for a while until he decided to lay off. That point happened around the 3-week mark when the band was on a small break from tour.

He made it his goal to stay inside his room the whole time, sulking as Bill told you. You were at ends meet, if he couldn’t just talk to you about it like adults then you would have to do it yourself.

This leads up to the moment where you’re standing in front of his door contemplating all your life choices.

Crrrrrreeeakkk

Are you serious, the one time you were hesitant about your decision he just had to open the door and make it for you?

“Name?”

“Hey, Tom uhh..can we talk about the party?” This is so awkward. What the fuuck.

He stood there hesitant for a second before opening up the door for you to come in. You ducked under his arm and situated yourself at the edge of his bed as he stared at you from the doorway.

“Okay um..so I’ve been thinking a lot about that moment and I just wanted to ask you something.”

He gave you a small nod of acknowledgment and you continued. 

“Do you like me? Like I don’t know if the reason you kissed me was just heat of the moment and you just got upset because you were drunk and your feelings were all mixed or something but I really want us to go back to normal…I miss you a lot and it's weird not seeing you at our practices”

You watched him closely for any signs of discomfort but his face was unwavering except for a light smile at your words easing your nerves only a little.

“I like you; I’ve liked you for years And Scheiße I miss you too but don’t wanna be just your friend anymore and if that changes things between us just forget about this whole thing”

You smiled softly walking towards him and cupping his face with your hands, bringing your lips to his feeling him relax into you. 

His breath caught in his throat when you grazed your fingers against the front of his pants, slightly palming him through the jeans when he abruptly pulled your hand away.

“Name I wanna do this with you…but I don’t wanna have sex like I normally do. I want it to mean something because you really mean something, I just don’t know how”

“Let me show you, Tom.”

——

Tom groaned when your lips pressed against his pelvis, muscles flexing underneath you at the feeling. You hummed in contentment before coming back up to him and giving him a quick kiss and taking off his boxers.

He’d never had someone take their time on him, it was foreign, different, you looked so pretty as you toyed with his cock. Seeing what made him shiver and what gave him goosebumps. 

Laying your tongue flat you licked a thick strip up the underside of his dick watching the way his eyes roll back in pleasure.

“Mhm…just- just like that Name please mhm…keep going.”

Voice slightly weak, he begged you to continue, not like you’ve ever heard and it encouraged you to continue, hands slick with his precum you stroked him at a controlled pace, squeezing slightly at the head hearing his soft curses get louder.

“Let’s empty that brain of yours ‘mkay?”

While you made yourself comfortable on top of him you felt his hips shift under you, his hands finding place on your hips. You align yourself with his cock, sliding down and listening to the way he mutters your name like a prayer as his cock disappears inside you.

“Shit this is much better than I ever imagined… s’much better...” his eyes raked your body seeing his hips met your thighs. You push down on his legs to keep him steady and use them as leverage to grind against him. Not even minutes later did his quiet concealed groans turn into gasps and random obscenities.

Seeing your pace begin to slow he flips himself over taking you with him, letting your legs rest flush against his shoulders next to his ears. He experimentally rocks his hips finding a comfortable rhythm, laying his hand flat on your stomach feeling at the bulge.

Now it was your turn to be a noisy mess, covering your face with a pillow in an attempt to muffle yourself but it was quickly discarded somewhere on the floor by Tom.

“Don’t- don’t do that- you look so pretty writhing under me like that, I could stare at you all day…shit shit shit.. if you keep tightening around me, I won’t last long...”

You smiled as you looked up at him. His eyes were closed tight and his jaw was clenched tight, focused on how you squeezed around him. You let your hand travel to his face tracing his features. His eyes opened at the touch and he sucked in his breath, feeling his high approaching.

 You were glowing, your hair fanned out on the bed, your eyes slightly glassy from his pace, sweat collecting on your hairline, suddenly every part of him felt so sensitive and his lips connected with yours before his hips stuttered letting out a guttural moan making sure you had ridden through your orgasm.

You cried out in his neck holding him against you as he continued for a little longer before coming to a halt, collapsing on top of you. Holding you against him in a vice grip. 

“I love you Name, a lot”

[obessedwithfictionalmen]

Princess and the fool

John Egan X Pilot! Reader

Summary: Y/n and Bucky's time in the camp...

Warning: Swearing/ historical inaccuracies/ sexism/ mention of rape (but not the actual thing)/ mention of getting shot/

Word count: 2.07k

The siren went off 5 minutes ago, they were all talking about where the Americans were attacking. ‘’Berlin? It sounds like Berlin’’ Y/n suggested. The guys agreed as the sound of explosion was the only thing they were hearing. ‘’Ah, good fucking Monday Adolf’’ Bucky chuckled. ‘’You think the 100th is with them?’’ Crank asked. ‘’They gotta be’’ Bucky replied. ‘’First daylight raid on Germany’s most precious town, it must me a rough one’’ Buck said. As the guys and Y/n were chuckling, screams echoed, before they knew it, the sounds of 3-gun shots came to the men’s ears. ‘’That’s a lot closer’’ Crank stated. The sound of someone shouting for help made Y/n flinch. ‘’The hell was that?’’ Bucky asked as he got up from his chair.

Buck, Bucky and Y/n ran outside with other POW, 3 guys came from behind the bungalow, holding a very injured Harry. ‘’Shit, Harry’s shot! What the hell happened?’’ Buck exclaimed. Y/n helped the guys holding Harry and quickly looked at his injury. ‘’They shot him for no reason!’’ one of them exclaimed. German soldiers walked up to see what the commotion was about, they came from behind the building, which meant that they shot him.

Bucky walked up to one of the Kraut soldiers and tried to keep his cool. ‘’Why would you shoot him?’’ he raised his voice. The commotion got the attention of the other POW as they got out of their barracks. ‘’He was out of the blocks’’ one of the Germans justified. ‘’We need a doctor, get Glemnitz!’’ Buck ordered. It was pure chaos as the men were trying to help Harry, German soldiers were yelling at everyone to get back inside, and guard dogs were barking. It went so fast, next thing Y/n knew, one of the guards let loose a dog. ‘’Woah, woah! Get that dog!’’ Bucky yelled.

The dog ran past her and chose its pray, the guy right next to her, she didn’t know him. Bucky pulled her by the shoulder to protect her from the German Shepherd. Y/n had his blood on her leg. ‘’Get that dog off him!’’ one of the guys yelled. She was in shock; it could’ve been her. The dog could’ve chosen her. ‘’Everyone gets back inside, now!’’ the German officer ordered. Egan led Y/n back inside, he became protective of her when they found out what the Germans did to female P.O.W. ‘’They’re going to kill us one at the fucking time, Buck’’ he breathed out as they made their way back inside.

Y/n sat down on a chair, watching the blood on her foot. ‘’Hey, you okay?’’ Buck asked the woman. She slowly looked at them. ‘’It could’ve been me’’ she said, her voice not getting louder than a whisper. ‘’You’re okay, don’t let them break you’’ Crank said. Something shifted in her brain, she was getting out of here alive, whatever it took she was getting out of this god forsaken place. ‘’Fuck those fucking Germans’’ she mumbled. Bucky chuckled lightly as he heard her swearing.

‘’Mail call!’’ the guys were waiting for this. Y/n had no one to write to her, since her W.A.S.P status wasn’t recognized by the military, her mother didn’t even know that she was in the army. The letters were passed, none for Bucky and Y/n, they looked at each other as the guys opened their envelope. ‘’Who’s yours from, Buck?’’ Gale was smelling his letter; it was clearly Marge. ‘’Marge’’ he said, smiling. ‘’Marge’’ Bucky mimicked, making Y/n laugh. She got up from her seat and went beside Bucky. ‘’My dear Buck, I love you, and miss you.’’ She finished her imitation with kissing sound, making the soldiers laugh. She even earned a smile from Buck. Bucky got up and followed her into her joke. ‘’My dear Marge, I love you, Bucky is annoying me, but he’s my best friend, I miss you, bla bla bla, I love you’’ he did the same as Y/n, making kissing sound. Everyone was giggling and looking at the pair acted out the letters. ‘’Alright you too’’ Buck chuckled. Bucky and Y/n looked at each other, laughing before they got back to their seat.

They didn’t know what time it was, but the 3 of them couldn’t sleep. ‘’In my last letter, I popped the question, and she said yes’’ Buck smiled. Y/n smiled back to him; she laid on top of Bucky’s back, since she lost a lot of weight from eating only potatoes, she wasn’t heavy. ‘’That’s good, I’m happy for you, Buck’’ Y/n whispered. ‘’I was thinking that you could be my best-man’’ he said, looking at Bucky. ‘’I will be your best-man, Buck’’ he replied. ‘’Of course, you’ll get an invitation, Y/n’’ Buck smiled. ‘’I will gladly attend your wedding. And I have to meet her, she seems lovely.’’

March, raids were more often, and the prisoners were growing tired of this place. Y/n had just fallen asleep before commotion outside woke everyone up. German soldiers were running outside, near the fence. ‘’What the fuck is going on?’’ she yawned. Bucky was looking outside the window to try and get an answer. ‘’I don’t know, but they’re rushing like crazy.’’

‘’3 tunnels, how the fuck did they do that?’’ Bucky exclaimed as Colonel Clark explained what happened in the night. Brits tried to escape via tunnels that they dug, they didn’t know how much got out, but the Germans didn’t look happy. ‘’They’ve been digging for over a year’’ Clark explains. Y/n looked at Buck, then Bucky, they’ve been talking about an escape plan for a while now. When Clark left the room, they all looked at each other. ‘’When the weather gets better, we’re getting out of here.’’ Bucky stated. ‘’Yeah, in a coffin’’ Y/n scoffed. ‘’The odds are against us; you might want to find a plan that would actually work.’’ Buck explained. ‘’When I do, you’re both coming with me’’ Bucky promised.

By summertime, she was slowly starting to lose her mind, this place was sucking her soul and her spirit. On a happy note, the prisoner got new uniforms, suited for summer. Hers was a grey tank top with forest green pants that were too big for her, she used a shoelace as a belt, the Germans were kind enough to give her a bra, she didn’t know where they get it, and to be honest, she didn’t want to know. She got a leather jacket, for the colder nights, and if she was too cold, the boys were nice enough to let her borrow a shirt with long sleeve. Buck wanted to take a stomp out of the ground to use its wood for fire, Y/n didn’t want to do that all day, so she used her body as a motivation for the soldiers, when the were pulling the stomp, she was sitting on the group, topless, only in her black bra. She wanted to tan, but if she could help to motivate the troops, she was happy to help. Plus, the guys had other thing to worry about than try to rape her. Bucky was the one they were more worried about, he was really going crazy, talking to himself, playing baseball with himself, laughing alone and other things, he was going crazy.

‘’Hey! Any of you want to play some ball?’’ he asked Murph, but he was busy pushing the stomp. ‘’C’mon, I can even let you win!’’ Bucky pleaded. Y/n looked at Bucky, putting her shirt back on as she got up. ‘’Either pitch in or knock it off’’ Murph said, sightly pushing Bucky on the soldier. ‘’Why don’t you shut the hell up?’’ Bucky pushed Murph back. ‘’What the hell is wrong with you?’’ Buck asked as he pushed Bucky on the ground. ‘’You’re going to help or stay out of the way’’ Buck says as Y/n watched Bucky put his hands behind his head, making himself comfortable on the ground. Bucky had a teasing flame burning in his eyes. ‘’You’re the new king of the camp, and I’m just in the way?’’ he teased, putting one of his legs over the other. Y/n got closer to Bucky, who kept taunting Buck about the fact that he just wanted to work. ‘’Bucky, c’mon get up’’ she tried to reason with him, no success. ‘’I’m sorry, come on, get up, you fool'' Buck said, offering his hand. ‘’King Stump, stumpity, stump, get to work’’ Bucky taunted, kicking Buck’s hand with his foot. Then, the guys started to fight on the ground, until Buck punched Bucky in the face. It was like the punch he got helped him to get out of his craziness at the moment. ‘’HEY that’s enough!’’ Colonel Clark yelled. Y/n helped Buck get up. ‘’You’re going to fight me too?’’ she asked Bucky as she offered her hand. He took it, without saying anything and got up.

German officer started to run around, a message in German got broadcasted on the camp’s speaker. Buck looked around. ‘’They landed, didn’t they’’ he stated. Bucky scoffed and looked at his friend. ‘’Y’a think’’ he said, sarcastically. ‘’Quit being a smartass, Bucky. We’re all tired here, yet you don’t hear us yapping about it’’ she said, while exhaling. ‘’Sorry princess’’ he said. She was too tired to argue with him, so she rolled her eyes and got back in her barracks.

Fresh meat was coming in, that’s how Y/n liked to call the new P.O.W coming in the camp, but this time, people were talking more, Red Tails pilot were walking in the camp. Y/n had a lot of respect for them, she got the chance to fly with them once, she could safely say that they were one the best pilots she ever flew with. ‘’They look nice’’ she said, looking at them.

They were all very into their game of card when the door opened. It was 2 Red Tails pilot. ‘’Second Lieutenant Alexender Jefferson, 332nd Fighter Group’’ one of the two introduced himself. ‘’Second Lieutenant Richard D. Macon, 332nd.’’ The other said. Y/n smiled to them; other boys didn’t say anything. ‘’Gentleman, welcome to paradise!’’ she said, sarcastically. There was a little bit of tension in the room, but Y/n looked at Richard, he injured his neck and couldn’t climb up a bunk. ‘’Here, take mine’’ she offered the man, who thanked her with a small nod. The next day, Buck, Bucky and she were seated in the stairs in front of their barracks. ‘’You trust ‘em?’’ Buck asked. ‘’Yeah, I do’’ Y/n said. ‘’Think we should too’’ Bucky added as Y/n nodded. That same night, she watched as Alexender was drawing the girl of his dream, Richard was teasing him. Like every other night, she couldn’t sleep. ‘’Girl of my dream’’ Alexender said, showing his drawing to his friend. She seated on her bed. ‘’Can I see her?’’ she asked him, the two men were surprised that she was talking to them. ‘’What?’’ Alexender asked, a little bit confused. She jumped down from her bunk and seated at the chair in the middle of the room. ‘’Can I see the girl of your dreams?’’ she asked again. He turned his book and showed the woman his drawing. ‘’She’s beautiful, you’re an artist?’’ she asked. He shook his head. ‘’What’s your name?’’ Richard asked her. ‘’Major Y/n Y/l/n, W.A.S.P division. But you can call me Y/n.’’ she smiled to the two men in front of her. ‘’Why are you nice to us, Y/n?’’ Richard whispered. ‘’Because you guys saved my life once, and I think that the Red Tails are the best pilots in the hole U.S army.’’ She looked at Richard in the eyes.

Buck was seated at the table, listening to the radio when some German officer yelled. ‘’Quick hide it’’ Murph said. He hid the radio just in time as the officer entered the room. Y/n looked at the officer before looking at Buck. ‘’Evening, sir’’ she said, getting his attention. ‘’Lights out!’’ he said, turning off the lights as he left the room. ‘’They’re close’’ Buck said. Y/n opened a candle, so that people could see a little bit. ‘’Really close’’ Y/n finished his sentence. ‘’We’re going home’’ Bucky smiled.

[imaginaryf1shots]

My Girls (VI) | Max Verstappen

Words count: 3.7K

Driver!oc X Max Verstappen

Platonic!Driver!oc X the grid

Summery: Cecilia Hansson daughter of a Swedish billionaire, a race car driver, with a dream of making it big in Formula 1. However she has a few secrets that may hurt her as women are disliked in the sport.

Series Warnings: google translated french, dutch, cursing, child abandment, absent father, drinking, car accidents, Jos Verstappen, misogyny, Christian horner (tell me if i missed anything)

This is a secondary blog so I won't be able to respond but I'm adding you all to the taglist.

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Leaked

Cecilia, Lando and George were on a private plane from Italy to Germany, Cecilia said goodbye to her daughter at the airport, the girl was with Cecilia the last month travelling and spending time together, her dad was in Italy for work so on his way back to Monaco he took his granddaughter with him on his plane.

The three drivers were on the plane with a few Mclaren personnel, they had fun the three of them on the plane, Cecilia happily showed Geeorge some of the photos she took of Nattie in Italy. 

The moment the plane landed, and the airplane mode turned off, quite a few phones started buzzing with incoming texts, by a few, I mean every phone minus George.

“Whoa, is Mclaren having an emergency?” George commented, the plane hadn't even stopped when they all started turning the airplane mode off. 

“Fuck.” Lando mumbled, his eyes snapping up from his phone to Cecilia, Cecilia’s PR manager quickly picked up her phone and made some calls.

“What? What happened?” George looked at Cecilia’s phone, the female looked stunt, the only one that hasn’t moved since she opened her phone. “Oh Cece, I’m sorry.” George knew how much Cecilia tried to keep her daughter out of the public’s eyes. So many questions will rise and so many speculations will start, everything the female didn’t want, not mid season, not like this. She knew that one day she’ll announce her daughter to the world, but she wanted it to be on her terms. 

“Cecilia.” Lando said softly, he moved from his seat across from her, he placed his hand on her knee once he kneeled down. She looked up at him and he tried to not look surprised. She didn’t look sad like he expected, no, she looked mad, mother lion just came out to play. You don’t poke a bear if you’re not ready to face it. 

“I’m fine, it was bound to happen.” She says pushing her hair out of her face.

“Still doesn’t make it right.” George stated.

“No it doesn’t, but nothing is right and nothing in life is fair.” She shrugged and pursed her lips, she closed her phone and sighed, she looked at her manager. “Can we deal with this at the hotel?”

“Yeah, it’ll be better then.” 

Once at the hotel, a couple PR managers and a few of Mclaren’s team were in Cecilia’s room, her suite had a living room and a bedroom, on call was the legal team, they were all talking about what to do, if they can sue, and all that. Cecilia was silent the whole time, her phone kept buzzing but she ignored it, so many people she hadn’t talked to in years were calling and texting, she shot a text to her family, Max and friends telling them she’s okay and to sit tight,

Cecilia was over this by the time they were an hour in and nothing was agreed on, she turned to her team principal who sat next to her.

“Can we just not sue anyone and just either not say anything or let me post a picture on instagram, and let us be done with it, it’s not like I did something wrong.” Cecilia asked in a low voice so the conversation could flow between the two of them alone.

“You wanted to keep her hidden.” Seidl said frowning, he was of the understanding that Cecilia wanted to keep her daughter out of the knowledge of people and out of the public eye, she’s always getting hate because of her gender, things have been better after she kept proving everyone that she’s a great driver, but the team suspected that it’ll take another year before most public scrutiny would at the minimum. 

“I did, but there’s nothing we can do now, if we start suing people, then it’ll look like I was hiding her because I’m ashamed, and I don’t want that, I don’t want her at 16 looking me up and seeing this, I’m not ashamed that I have a daughter.” Cecilia explained, he nodded in understanding, and thought about it for a moment.

“Alright, everyone!” Everyone shut up to look at Seidl and hear what he had to say. “Suing isn’t the answer here, let’s leave Cecilia to think this over and let her decide if we respond to this or not.”

“But-”

“No buts, we’ve all had long flights, let's talk about this tomorrow, nothing will change from now to tomorrow.” Standing up, it was a sign for everyone to start packing and leaving, before he left he turned to his driver. “Think it over and tell us tomorrow… you didn’t ask me what I thought about it.”

“What do you think I should do?” 

“I think fuck them all, you’re not the only one on the grid with kids, so why should it matter that you’re a woman, it’s time the public learns to not take you for a weak person.” With a pat to her shoulder he left behind the team. Cecilia felt better knowing her boss felt that way, she didn’t want to find herself teamless at the end of the year.

Cecilia freshened up and changed into sweats with a plain shirt, she hears someone at the door as she’s pulling her hair up in a bun, opening the door, she sees Max. Quickly pulling him in, she sticks her head out looking left and right before she slammed the door shut.

“What are you doing here?” She asks her boyfriend, they always made sure that when they weren’t in the same hotel to always have a lockout and help sneaking in undetected, their friends always helped the couple out. 

“Don’t worry Lando helped me.” She should’ve guessed, Lando is literally in the next suite. Cecilia wrapped her arms in silence around Max, right around his middle, her way of showing him she wanted to be hugged tightly by him. Something that she did and he picked on, when she’d happy and in a good mood, her arms around his neck or in his hair, when she’s sad and just needs some love around his middle. His brain translates the latter to the need to protect. Max’s arms caged her in, across and down her back with one arm, the other across and up reaching the back of her head. Max kissed the side of her head a few times, and he didn’t try to pull away, he’d let her pull away first. Cecilia buried her head in his neck, she wanted to disappear and hide away from the world. The only reason Max knew she was crying is because he felt her tears touching his skin. “Oh schatje, please don’t cry.”

She pulled back just enough for Max to see her face and for her to be able to see him, this is the first time he’d seen her cry and he didn’t like it, it got his blood boiling. His strong girlfriend, she’s been facing so many hardships since she came into the sports. He moved the hand that was in hair to cup her face, and wipe the tears away. Cecilia tried to smile, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Max asked and Cecilia nodded, she pulled away from him lacing her fingers with his and led him to her bedroom(for the week). Cecilia sat with her back to the headboard, knees to her chest with her chin on her knee. “Do you know what you’re going to do?”

“No, not 100%.” Cecilia sniffed and turned her head so she could look Max in the eye. “Sdeil left it all to me, I get to decide what I and Mclaren do about this.”

“Then what options are you considering?” Max knew that the only thing he could do in this case is to support her and help Cecilia organise her thoughts, they aren’t out to the public and it would be the worst thing at the moment, it’ll bring her more hate and pressure. 

“We agreed on not suing, but other than that, Mclaren can release a statement saying it’s my private life and ask the public to give me privacy.” This is the least likely scenario she’d go with.

“That’ll do nothing.” Cecilia agreed with Max.

“They can confirm it, but that’ll feel weird, or deny it, even weirder, but I feel like it should come from me.” Cecilia said and her hand moved on the cover she sat on playing with it absentmindedly.

“Why is that?” He wasn't questioning her statement, he wanted to walk through her train of thought with her.

“Because anything else would feel like I’m ashamed of her, which I’m not, so why hide it when it’s already out and in the open.” Cecilia shrugged, she suddenly felt like maybe this isn’t the right decision.

“I get that, you should just post a picture on Instagram and say fuck you to all of them.” Max said and took her hand in his.

“Sdeil said to fuck them all, and just do whatever I want from now on.” Cecilia shared with Max who laughed and agreed with her team principal. “Are you staying the night?”

“Do you want me to?”

“Please.”

“Of course.” It’s been hard saying no to her, and as the time went on it became harder and harder. When Max was changed, shirtless and in a pair of shorts that she had in her bag, he left it once at her hotel and since then it’s been with her for times like this. Whenever she went to his hotel room she’s always in his clothes, Max liked that better.

“You know, I missed you.” 

“We saw each other two days ago.”

“I still missed you, and we saw each other almost everyday in lockdown.”

“I missed you too, schatje.” Cecilia leaned up and kissed his jaw, her hands fell on his shoulder feeling his muscles move as he pulled her closer. They were standing flush against each other, getting their fill of the other, this week will be a hard week and the possibilities of them seeing each other out of the eyes of the public seemed to be less and less. 

Before Cecilia fell asleep she sent a text to Sdeil, he replied with a thumbs up. 

Next day was media day, Max left so early in the morning the sun was barely up. He slipped out of bed as silently as he could and got dressed, Cecilia only felt him when he leaned over to kiss her forehead in goodbye. 

“You’re leaving?” She mumbled, unable to open her eyes fully.

“Yeah, sleep, you still have an hour before you have to wake up.” Cecilia said something he couldn’t understand before she fell back asleep.

Cecilia got in her Mclaren for the week, as she sat there about to get to the circuit she got her phone out, opened Instagram and set everything up before she closed it so she’d post it the moment she hit the circuit. 

The moment she parked, her PR manager and some staff members were by her car’s side, quickly pressing post, she opened the car door and stepped out. She was dressed to kill, gone the team kit.

Her PR manager grinned once she saw her, a new era for the female just began.

Fans screamed once they saw her, cameras were flashing, she stopped and signed hats, cards and everything her fans wanted. But she didn’t answer any questions that were thrown her way, she’ll be asked enough when she gets inside. 

“Hot mama.” Someone said walking beside her, she turned and saw George grinning at her, she laughed and shook her head at his antics, the taller man threw an arm around her shoulders. “I didn’t know that it only took pissing you off for you to come ready to kill.”

“Fuck off George.” She jokingly pushed him away, the Williams’ hospitality was next to Mclaren’s for the week.

“Love the new attitude.” He joked and she shook her head.

“Ceciliaaaaa Haaaansson!” Their Aussie friend called as they passed him, she turned to look at him and laughed, he was giving her thumbs up with a big grin.

“Danieeeel Rrrrricciarddooooo!” She called back and he laughed and turned to what he was doing. 

When they reached their hospitalities she saw Seb and Lewis talking in front of Mercedes, Seb caught her eye and gestured for her to come over. Her and George joined the older drivers.

“How are you, Cecilia?” Seb asked concerned, always caring for the woman. 

“Could be better, but I’m armed and ready.” She said with a shrug, but she was smiling. After her crying session yesterday and talking to Max the rage she felt when saw the article came out once again, the fierceness she had on track is coming off track. 

“Looks like I’ll have to step up my fashion game.” Lewis jokes and gives her a wink.

“Don’t worry, no one can come near you, my style is too simple to match yours.” 

“Did you guys see her Instagram post?” George asked the men, he was eager to share the gossip.

“No.” “I don’t have instagram.” 

George took out his phone and once he got the post up he turned it to face them. 

ceciliahansson15

Liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1 and  9,397,800 others

ceciliahansson15 On the 15th of June 2016 I was blessed with the greatest gift, my beautiful girl whom I love and hold closer to me than anyone else. I wished to shield her from the cruel world of the public eye, alas now I can share her with the world. So world, say hello to Cecilia Ella Hansson.

More comments

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username she has her last name

username when you realise the meaning behind her number 🥹

username can you adopt me 🙏🧎‍♀️

“Everyone is going wild online.” George informed them. 

“What can I say, I bring the drama.” Cecilia chuckled and looked at her PR manager. “I have to go, see you guys later.”

Cecilia was in her team shirt, that she tucked into her white pants she had on earlier. Her hair and makeup were like every other week.

Cecilia was called for a briefing, she had a couple solo interviews today, along with the group conference and they were shooting something for Mclaren’s social media and just her luck she’ll be shooting with one of the RedBulls drivers as well.

She was told that the solo interviews questions were already checked and approved with the team, so she had nothing to worry about there. The solo interviews went by in a breeze, she was asked the same questions almost every week. She saw Lando and Pierre in the middle, the trio went and got something to drink, while they were on a break. They too teased her like Geroge did that morning. 

Some of the fan’s favourite moments at the conference.

I(interviewer): The question is for Cecilia, are the rumours about your daughter’s father true?

C: this isn’t a gossiping conference, do you have any questions to do with racing?... no? Okay then, next question please.

**

I: Daniel we know that some of the drivers knew about Cecilia’s daughter did you know too

The drivers rolled their eyes, Seb even chuckled in disbelief.

C: Can i answer this one

D: Go ahead

C: yeah, I don’t see where this concerns you

**

I: Cecilia if you could tell us about your daughter-

C: Come on now guys, I’m not the only person on the grid with kids, I don’t see you all asking them about their children, I’m not answering anything about her, so don’t ask me or the other drivers, they respect my privacy as should you.

I: I’m merely trying to understand

C: That’s fucking bullshit, what the fuck? The double standards you all seemed to have needs to stop, You need to understand jackshit, I gave you all more than you deserve this morning, that’s all, so don’t fucking ask anything more.

Cecilia was photographed having fun with her friends that day, no care in the world. Even though she saw a lot of her friends that day, she hadn’t come across her boyfriend, they were always at the opposite sides all day long. 

For her last obligation for the day, she was standing to the side with her manager. The interviewer was here and they were waiting for one of the RedBull drivers, so it was either Alex or Max. 

The door opened and in walked Max in his RedBull outfit. The two acted like they hadn't seen each other today, sharing a quick hug in greeting, before they settled in front of the camera on a small sofa. 

The female interviewer started with introducing the two, and got on with her questions. This is the first time they’d be interviewed just the two of them, it’s something new.

“Let me start with asking you two about your racing days before you started in formula! I heard you’re friends now, but it wasn’t always like that, is that right?”

“You want to answer that one?” Cecili askes Max knowing that she tried to befriend him when they were younger but he wouldn’t have it. 

“Yeah.” He laughs, hating his younger self, it makes him think how different it would’ve been if they grew up as friends. “To be completely honest, we weren’t the closest, I think we first raced against each other when I was 10?” Cecilia confirms, she was 9 at the time. “And she won our first race, you know as kids she’d win so much more than I did, and had the better car and everything.”

“The thing is at that age, you don’t always realise you can be rivals and not be enemies.” Cecilia added, now as she’s older she saw things in a different light. “Now the grid is filled with friendships from different teams, and given that it is a sport with a small number of people, drivers will be the only ones to understand other drivers, so we become close.”

“That’s very nicely put, at last week’s Grand Prix, there were some people online saying that Cecilia you tried pushing Max off the track.”

“People are saying all sorts of things, I lost grip for a moment and the car started sliding, but I got it back in control before anything could happen.” Cecilia explained the incident, nothing had happened and they both ended on the podium in the end.

“We heard Max cursing on the radio when that happened.” The interviewer added, Cecilia turned to look at Max, she heard the radio messages after the race.

“Yeah well on track you say all sorts of things, at the moment you’re racing you’re full of adrenaline, it’s physical, and if you put microphones on all athletes you’d hear a lot of things.” Max explained calmly.

“So no hard feelings?”

“None at all, we all curse, we all shout, most of the time you don’t even know who you’re cursing at, you just see a car and you know which team, but on the track you don’t think about a single person.” Cecilia added, ending any talk of bad blood between the two that rose online. They were asked a few more questions before the second part of the interview began, and the interviewer will be giving them two options and they’ll have to choose.

“Okay, first one, Cats or dogs?” 

“Cats.” “either.” Max and Cecilia responded at the same time.

“Really, you like cats more.” The interviewer was surprised by Max’s answer.

“Surprising, but he’s thinking of getting a cat.” Cecilia said with a laugh.

“Maybe after the season.” Max shrugged, Max talked to you about it during lockdown and he’s been thinking about it seriously since then, and once Nathalie caught wind of that she’s been begging you for a cat as well. Cecilia’s mum has a no pets policy in the house, she doesn’t like them or want any type of pets.

“Okay, next one, milk or juice with your breakfast?” The drivers laughed and shared a look before in one breath saying.

“Milk.”

“You said that so fast, is there a story behind that?”

“Not really, we’ve just talked about it once.” Max shrugged answering the question.

“Winning your home race or Monaco?”

“Monaco is my home race.” Cecilia says and the interviewer seemed to register that. The questions are standardised for all drivers, so Cecilia didn’t feel offended.

“I’d choose the home race.”

The questions went on for a few more minutes, before they were done for the day.

As they were leaving the room, Max placed his hand on Cecilia's back leading her out, the duo forgot they’re in public for a second as they walked close together, before a pair or arms wrapped around them both.

“We’re in public.” Daniel told the two just loud enough for them to hear him, but had a big smile on his face. The place is littered with cameras and phones. 

“I really hate the public right now.” Cecilia huffed, crossing her arms, she did not look happy.

“It comes with the job.” Max reminded her.

“Doesn’t make it alright.” Cecilia countered back.

 “True.” Daniel agreed with her, being so under the public eye 24/7 for doing what you love isn’t so pleasant to say the least. “Come on, we’re eating at RedBull today.”

Was this Daniel’s way of making the couple be able to eat together? Yes. did they acknowledge this? No. but they were thankful nonetheless. They will be spending the night together so there’s always that. 

While the couple were still a secret from the public, so many pictures of them eating with one or two other drivers popped up on the internet, they’d always be sitting next to each other, but the fans from that angle never put two and two together, besides Cecilia has been shipped with all the drivers, the major ship the fans have is with Charles probably, but the fans also loved her friendship with Lando, her and Max aren’t on the top of the list, which meant they were doing a good job of hiding their relationship.

Next->

Taglist:

@luciaexcorvus . @vellicora . @tpwkstiles . @belennasif  . @eugene-emt-roe . @fanboyluvr . @fangirl125reader , @christianpulisic10 . @belennasif . @itsjustkhaos . @crashingwavesofeuphoria . @mynameisangeloflife . @mirrorball-6 .

[ddagent]

It was Margo's first time in Russia. She'd seen news footage, of course. Heard it spoken of so fondly by Sergei in the years of their acquaintance. Despite the reservations of his government, his hatred for the KGB, he had spoken warmly of vacations with his family, of cooking with his mother, of the first heavy snow. Margo wished, truly, that she could experience Russia through his eyes. But Sergei had been dead for eight years and all around her was ghosts.

Thankfully, there was the work to distract her. Always the work.

The Goldilocks capture conference in Leningrad had not been as...productive, as Margo had hoped. Political posturing; capitalism and bottom lines outweighing scientific merit and discovery. Exhausted, Margo had retired to a fireplace in the hotel bar, sharing a drink with Aleida, licking their wounds after the new Director of Roscosmos had scuppered their intentions to bring the asteroid to Mars.

Margo rolled her neck, fingers pressing against the condensation of the glass. "We should be holding this in Houston."

"No arguments here. Instead, Morozova gets to run the show." Aleida sipped her brandy. She was still pissed she'd been relegated to an inferior hotel, whereas Margo, as director of NASA, had been give five star accommodation. Margo couldn't blame her. "There's something about her I just don't trust."

"I'd say someone was pulling her strings, but I think she's at the top of the food chain here."

Margo didn't enjoy spy novels. Didn't enjoy ear pieces and false identities and honey traps. Any possible love for the genre had been eroded when the KGB had throttled Sergei in front of her. But she knew the signs. The hallmarks. The way Irina would pause. The way she would formulate words on her tongue that held no meaning, just regurgitated from others. No doubt, Margo would know what lay behind it all in due course. But for now, she was happy to spend some hours of the day away from Irina Morozova and Dev Ayesa.

"I'm gonna head up to my room." Margo stared at Aleida. "You sure you're going to be okay over there? You can stay with me; it's not a problem."

"I've slept in worse." Aleida drained her glass. "Text you when I'm there. Don't forget to text Ilyana and Andrei."

Margo would not. Sergei's aging parents had been so excited about her trip when Margo had told them during her last visit. Maps had been involved; images summoned from the web to replace the photo albums they had lost. It had been another dinner where Margo had felt a stab in her gut at all they had lost to come to the States: their home, their possessions, their son. Margo had done everything to get Sergei and his family out. All but see him home safe. Still, Margo had promised to take pictures for his parents and she would fulfil that promise.

As she left the hotel bar, Margo noticed that Irina had left. She traversed the halls, seeing if she had picked up a shadow. She entered the elevator alone. Pressed seven. Flexed her fingers around a phantom touch. Exited alone. Margo hovered, as the doors closed, imagining his body close to hers. Aleida went to the IAC now. Margo couldn't bear it. At least there were no memories here. No ghosts that would haunt Margo as she entered her room.

Margo began the short walk to her suite. The door was ajar. Fuck. There was no housekeeping cart outside, or room service. Just an open door spilling light into the hallway. No. Not again. She was not going to stand for this. She was done being messed with. Storming into her hotel room, Margo caught sight of a figure by her desk and called out: "I am not being fucked around by you people anymore. You'll have to strangle me this time."

The figure turned around and Margo's world spun.

"Hello, Margo."

It wasn't possible. She was dreaming or had been knocked out somehow between the elevator and here. This wasn't real. Bradford had tried to get home. He'd been on the plane; had made it to Germany. But the KGB had found him. Bradford had spared her the details, not wanting to see her tears, not wanting to know how close the head of NASA was with the former head of Roscosmos. But he was dead, of that she was sure. Margo had mourned him. His parents, his sisters had mourned him. There was a photograph of them from Apollo-Soyuz on her shelves that Aleida always stared at when she came into Margo's office. Staring at a ghost, a legacy.

Yet here he was.

Sergei Nikulov – older, with creases around his eyes but still looking healthier than the last time she'd seen him in person – stared at her. Smiled at her. Before the weight of his haunting fell heavy on his shoulders. "We do not have much time."

Margo didn't respond. She merely approached, cautiously, as if he were made of vapour and would disappear if she made one errant step. She took stock of him: the rise and fall of his chest, the flush of his skin under the warmth of the hotel lights, the stray thread on the sleeve of his shirt. After a visual inspection, Margo investigated closer. She took his hand in hers. Familiar grooves and lines. A phantom touch made real. His grip tightened, held her hand for the first time in nearly a decade.

Margo gasped and immediately closed the distance between them, cradling his face in her hands. "I thought—" He nodded. "I thought I couldn't save you."

Sergei took one of the hands pressing against his cheek and kissed her palm. "I am afraid, Margo, that I am beyond saving. This time, I am here to save you." His shoulders fell in defeat. "We need to talk about Irina Morozova."

[fallinginvictus]

WIP Wednesday Andrew & Aaron Time Loop AU [part 1/4]

8ish years post-canon (aaron at the end of his first year of residency)

time loop fic where aaron dies of an overdose and andrew keeps waking up on the morning of his death and tries his best to save him

tw for this specific chapter: character death, mention of drug addiction, mention of relapse, mention of drug overdose, dead body

Part 2

CHAPTER ONE

It's Tuesday, 8 May at 15:19 in the afternoon when Andrew's phone rings, the soft voice of a doctor on the other side, the words coming out of her mouth venomous and wrong, lies that Andrew can't comprehend, can't accept.

Stop lying, he wants to tell the counterfeit doctor.

Neil is at an away match on the other side of America. Nicky is an ocean away. Andrew is alone, standing in the middle of his living room with a dislocated shoulder, the now silent phone still clutched in his aching hand, spiders crawling under his skin, making their way into his throat, into his lungs, stopping the air from entering his body, his mind going numb, his brain unable to make sense of the three words circling in his head, bouncing around his skull: Aaron is dead.

“Aaron is not dead,” he says to the empty room, to a God he doesn't believe in, to the orange cat sunbathing on the windowsill.

Andrew was never one for denial, he found the whole concept silly and immature. If something happened, what's the point in lying to yourself and denying the cold hard truth? What's the point in delaying the inevitable?

And yet there he stands, the truth sounding like a lie, reality looking like a cruel and humourless joke, denial grabbing him by the throat and choking him out.

He walks to his room in a trance, throwing clothes and underwear into a black duffle bag without even checking if the clothes are clean, if they are his, he just takes anything that he can get his hands on and throws it in the bag until it's full and then he closes it.

Look after the cats, he texts Jake-the-neighbour as heads to his car.

Andrew had never much cared for the guy but Neil liked him and that was enough for Andrew.

The drive from New York to Boston is only 4 hours, Andrew had driven much longer just to meet Neil when they were in different teams, in different states, and yet none of those drives had ever felt as long as the one that is going to bring him to his brother's cold and lifeless corpse.

Every other car on the interstate seems to be moving in slow motion and Andrew wants to scream at every single one of them. He tightens his hands on the wheel, wondering why he needs to go faster, why he needs to speed. Aaron is already gone, his body already cold. It won't matter at all how long he takes to get there. It won't matter if he gets there in five minutes or five days, the outcome will be the exact same.

As he passes through towns and fields, Andrew wonders when Aaron had relapsed. How long had Aaron been lost to drugs before his death? How many times had he relapsed throughout the years without ever telling Andrew? How many times had he picked himself up on his own, alone in Boston?

“You are the one who wanted freedom,” he mutters, stuck in the 6 pm traffic as he lays his head on the steering wheel. “You are the one who wanted this.”

They hadn't talked much in the past nine years. Aaron hadn't talked with anyone much. He had left Palmetto State and the rest of them with it without ever looking back.

Nicky would always cry about it, about Aaron's lack of contact, about his distance, about his unwillingness to get mixed up with the Foxes after graduation.

“Oh, Mr. Harvard is too good for us now? Can't even show his face for one dinner?” Allison had said once while they were having dinner at Wymack and Abby's housewarming party.

“He's probably just busy,” Nicky had defended him, his eyes tired from the 10-hour flight from Germany that he had taken just to be there for their little reunion, knowing how hard it was for all the Foxes to be free on the same day.

“Yeah well, we are all busy.”

Once, Nicky had called Andrew while he was still crying after he had gotten in a huge fightwith Aaron about his indifference, about his distance.

“He never even texts,” Nicky had said. “Did you know that he and Kate broke up two years ago? Two fucking years Drew. Of course you didn't know either because he never tells us anything at all. It's like we don't exist anymore to him.”

That bastard had done his best to distance himself from them just so that he could have his perfect and normal life just to then go and overdose on some stolen morphine.

What a humiliating way to go.

So much for a perfectly normal life.

The traffic in Boston is a nightmare, red lights that won't turn green, green lights that always turn red, endless cars imperfectly lined one after the other waiting for their turn to finally move past a traffic light just be immediately stopped by another, lawless intersections that Andrew thinks will be the death of him.

Andrew has always hated driving in the city and Aaron knew that. He could've at least overdosed in a farm out of town and spared Andrew the headache. What an asshole.

He stands outside the hospital for a few or a hundred minutes, listening to the ambulances’ sirens as they race behind him, looking at the people who are walking in and out of that imposing white building, the first rays of sun already starting to sink into the horizon, the sky turning dark.

When he finally walks inside, a nurse in yellow scrubs gasps loudly as soon as she sees him, the tablet in her hands slipping to the ground while she looks at him pale-faced and wide-eyed.

“I'm so sorry,” one of her colleagues says while running to her side and pushing the stunned nurse away. “You look just like Dr. Minyard.”

“As twins often do,” he replies without blinking, the nurse's reaction shaking him more than he thought it could.

“Of course. You must be Andrew. I'm Nurse Mary.”

He just stares at her in silence as she stares back at him as if she were looking at a ghost.

Andrew wondered how he will ever be able to look at himself in the mirror again.

“Are you going to bring me to my brother or are you going to stare at me all day?”

“Yes. Of course. I'm so sorry. Here, follow me,” she says as if coming out of a trance before turning towards the other nurse. “Tell Dr. Allen that Dr. Minyard's brother arrived.”

Andrew had been expecting white hallways, white tile floors and white walls illuminated by bright white lights, instead he's met by green and yellow hallway walls, little animals like rabbits and deer and butterflies painted all around, flowers made of paint blooming in every corner.

“This is a children's hospital,” Nurse Mary says as if Andrew had asked.

“I know,” he replies because he might've lost contact with his brother but at least he knows that much.

They walk in silence for the rest of the way, Andrew unwilling to entertain any form of conversation, unable to let words come out of his mouth, incapable of interacting with the world outside of his mind.

He wonders if Aaron had even thought about the consequence of his relapse. If he had thought of his career, of the future that he had worked so restlessly to achieve.

If Aaron was going to throw it all away anyway, he could've at least avoided making Nicky cry.

“He's here,” Mary says while stopping in front of a white door. “We haven't brought him down to the morgue yet. We were waiting for you.”

Andrew just nods.

“We all knew he was-”

“I didn't ask,” he replies. “You can leave”

“Of course. I'm sorry,” Andrew can tell that there is still something stuck on the tip of her tongue that she so badly wants to say, but he doesn't want to hear it. He doesn't want to hear how everyone knew about it, how Aaron hadn't managed to escape from his past, how he hadn't been able to achieve that normal life that he had always yearned for.

He waits until the nurse is gone and then another few more minutes before he finally pushes the door open and walks inside the dim room.

There is a bed on the right, it's empty and white and perfectly made.

There is a bed on the left, white lines pulled over a body, gloomy and silent and perfectly still.

Andrew walks quietly towards the occupied bed and then stops for a second, his cement-stuffed shoes anchoring him to the ground, his metal-filled bones weighing him down. He feels like he's trying to run in a dream, trying to walk on quicksand, Aaron's silhouette so close to him and yet so impossibly distant.

The quiet of the room is deafening, the grains of dust falling and dancing in the air in slow motion suddenly starting to look beautiful and interesting and making his eyes stray from his brother's dead body.

He doesn't want to look at it. To look at him.

He wants to run.

He wants to open that door and never have to look at his traitor of a brother again. He wants to spit in his face and curse his name, curse his short existence and meaningless departure.

He removes the sheet from Aaron's face and gently caresses his cold and icy cheek, his fingers grazing over his once-soft skin, over his long hair.

“You are so stupid,” he says. “I hate you so much.”

He stares at Aaron's motionless face, trying to remember the last time he had seen it flushed red, the last time life had still been cursing through his body, beating in his chest, shining in his eyes.

It had been so long. Too long.

He can't remember the last words he had said to Aaron, can't remember the last conversation they had. He can't remember what Aaron had said or if he had smiled. (Aaron never really smiled.)

It had been spring back then too, Andrew and Neil were in Boston for a match. They had met at a coffee shop. Andrew can't remember what Aaron had ordered. They hadn't talked much, feeling like strangers who had once lived in each other's pockets, two people who knew so much and yet so little about each other.

Aaron had left in a hurry with an I'm sorry, I'll text you.

Andrew had said nothing in reply.

“We didn't even say goodbye,” he whispers as that knowledge slams into him like a fast-moving train. “I hate you.”

His phone vibrates in his pocket but he doesn't even notice, his left hand resting on Aaron's blond hair as his right moves on top of his chest, searching for a beat that he knows he won't find.

“After all we did for you, how can you throw it all away just because you wanted to get high? How could you do this to us? What am I supposed to tell Nicky now? You know how much he loves you,” a moment passes, words that he had never said to Aaron trying to crawl their way up his throat, their sharp claws scratching it raw and leaving a trail of blood behind. “I love you.”

His breath hitches and his hands shake as he tries to take a hold of himself, as he tries to swallow those words back down, the taste of metal invading his mouth.

“I said I love you. So come back now,” he begs the silence and only the silence replies.

Aaron doesn’t move, his eyes remain closed, his chest unmoving.

“What do I tell Nicky?” he whispers to himself as he sits on the wooden chair next to the bed, his left hand softly holding Aaron's ice-covered hand while taking his phone out of his pocket with his right.

From: neighbour

not a problem at all!!!

I hope everything is alright :)

u don't have to worry i am GREAT with kitties

From: 0Neil

where are you? why did you ask jake to look after king and sir?

He wants to call Neil, to ask him to drop everything and meet him in Boston, but he knows it wouldn't be fair to tell anyone before telling Nicky.

If there was someone in the world who had gently and unconditionally loved Aaron, it was him.

If there was someone in the world who would fall apart at the news of Aaron's death, it would be him.

Andrew wishes there was another way to do it. Wishes Nicky didn't have to hear of Aaron's death the same way that Andrew had: from a voice through the phone.

“Andrew, is everything alright?” Nicky answers after letting the phone ring five times.

“Are you home?”

“It's 1 am of course I'm home and also sleeping,” he says on the phone before adding quietly. “It's Andrew.”

“Erik is next to you?” Andrew asks because he needs someone to be there with Nicky. He wouldn't survive the news if he were alone.

“Yeah. What's going on?”

“Turn on the lights and sit on the bed with Erik next to you.”

“Andrew, it's so late and Erik has to get up from work in like, five hours. Can't this wait?”

“Just do as I say, Nicky,” he gritts out as he holds Aaron's hand. “And tell me when you are done.”

He can hear a little commotion on the other side, the rustling of covers as they are being moved, german words he can't understand, someone sighing in annoyance.

“Okay, we are now sitting on our bed with the lights on like two idiots.”

“Hold his hand.”

“Andrew-”

“Just do as I say.”

“You are scaring me.”

“Are you holding his hand?”

“Yessir.”

“Nicky,” is all that comes out of his mouth, the rest of the sentence drowning in his chest before he can get it out.

“Is something wrong with Neil?” Nicky asks and Andrew can hear the worry in his voice, the gentleness in his tone.

“It's Aaron,” he spits, the acid-filled words burning his flesh on their way out.

“Aaron? Is he sick? What's wrong?”

“He's dead,” he says as if those words aren't about to make Nicky's whole world crumble to the ground.

“He's not dead,” Nicky says with a chuckle. “I texted him two months ago and he was fine.”

“Nicky,” Andrew breathes out. “He's dead.”

“He was fine so how can he be dead now? That doesn't make any sense Andrew. Don't be silly.”

“He relapsed. He overdosed early this afternoon.”

“He went to Harvard. He's a doctor in one of the best children's hospitals in the country. He's a doctor, Andrew. He's happy. Why would he relapse?”

“Because he's a drug addict, Nicky. That's what they do.”

“Shut up. Not Aaron. He's clean. He can't be dead. Please. We didn't- I didn't even-” and then all he can hear through the phone are a series of sobs being pulled out of Nicky's chest as he falls apart on the other side of the phone, on the other side of the world.

“I'll take care of him and book the first flight for Boston,” Erik says as Andrew listens to Nicky falling to pieces before the call ends.

He stares at Aaron for a few seconds, his hand still softly holding Aaron's, “You see what you did? You made Nicky cry again. How is he supposed to move on from this now?”

His phone vibrates again as it rests on his legs.

From: 0Neil

reply?

I just need to know that everything is okay

To: 0Neil

I'm in boston

come as soon as you can

aaron's dead

From: 0Neil

I'm coming right now

Andrew looks at Aaron's face one last time, his fingers hovering over his icy cheek for a few seconds before placing a kiss on his forehead, something that he had never dreamt of doing when Aaron's forehead was still warm, and then he covers him with the white hospital sheet.

“Where are his things?” he asks Nurse Mary once he reaches the nurses’ station.

“My God,” another nurse whispers in the background. “They look so similar. He looks like a better and healthier version of Dr Minyard.”

A better version of Aaron.

Andrew snarls at those words.

That's not how their lives were supposed to turn out. Aaron was supposed to be the better twin, the one with his life together, the happy and normal one. How had things turned out like this? Why was Andrew the one with a normal life and Aaron's lifeless body was lying in a hospital bed under a white sheet?

“Here, I'll take you to his locker.”

The staff changing room is closer to the nurses’ station than Aaron's body is and to Andrew's relief, is also empty.

“You can put his things in this bag,” the nurse says as she hands him a plastic bag. “Number 13. It's already opened for you,” she stands there awkwardly for a second. “Goodbye then.”

“Who do I have to invite to the funeral?” he asks her before she can walk out.

“I'm sorry?”

“His close friends. Who was he the closest to? Who must I invite to the funeral?”

“Oh,” Nurse Mary says awkwardly as she fiddles with her hands. “Dr Minyard wasn't really- he didn't really have any friends here. Or anywhere. I'm sorry I don't- He just didn't really talk with anyone and always kept to himself. Dr Allen always says that he's his favourite prodigee, that he will become a great doctor but that he's not really a fun person to be around. He's great with patients just not-” She stops talking, realising how rude her words may sound to a grieving family member. “I'm sorry.”

“So nobody?”

“I'm sorry.”

“Whatever.”

Something breaks in Andrew at those words, a pain that he can't place, that he can't understand.

He had always imagined Aaron living a happy and normal life, laughing with his colleagues while eating lunch at the hospital cafeteria, having a drink after work at a bar near the hospital, spending the holidays around a table full of people while laughing about something that had happened at work the night before.

He always thought Aaron had left them behind because he had built a new life for himself, that he'd left them behind so that he could build himself a perfect life surrounded by normal people.

He doesn't know what to do with the image of an Aaron who had no one in his life, who spent all of his time either at work or at home alone, who never laughed and never smiled. Andrew wonders if he had ever even known his brother at all.

Was it the absence of people in his life that made him relapse, he wonders, or was the fear of relapsing that kept him away from people?

There isn’t much in Aaron's locker, just a yellow stethoscope, a white coat with a yellow sunflower-shaped pin, his house keys, a box of assorted teas, a pair of spare scrubs and a set of cutlery. He picks everything up and throws it in the red plastic bag, a piece of paper falling to the ground as he does so.

He kneels on the ground to pick it up but his hand stops in mid-air as soon as he realised what it is: a picture of the Foxes during Aaron's third year of college, their orange uniforms bright under the sun, smiles painted on almost all of their faces, Wymack and Abby standing by their side.

“What the fuck Aaron,” he asks closing his eyes for a second before picking up the worn-out picture and staring at it for a few seconds, a confused expression on his face, his heart beating loudly in his ears.

He can't stop thinking about that picture the whole drive towards Aaron's apartment, questions swirling inside his brain as he almost blows through a red light.

Aaron's new life, now that Andrew got a glimpse of it, looks a lot different than what he had imagined and he just can't understand it. Nothing makes any sense and there is no one left who can shed light on it because the only person who could make sense of it is now dead.

Aaron is dead.

Aaron is dead.

Andrew wonders how he's supposed to move on with his life with those words always swirling in his brain.

Aaron's house is fifteen minutes away from the hospital, the building modest but well maintained, Aaron's apartment on the sixth floor.

He stands in front of the door for a few minutes delaying the inevitable as if it would change the outcome. He has been doing a lot of that the past few hours.

He used to always dive face-first into any situation, no matter the cost, no matter the consequences.

Aaron's death is something he's unable to face. Doesn't want to face.

Aaron's bed is still unmade when Andrew opens the door to his bedroom, dirty clothes scattered around the room, empty boxes of ramen piled near the full trash can, sheets of paper covering the floor, open books piled on top of more open books on his desk.

Andrew wonders when was the last time Aaron had cleaned up the room as he opens the window.

When they lived together, Aaron was clean and neat, he used to hate when Andrew left clothes lying around and when he didn't wash his dishes. He would clean his room once every other day without ever leaving even a pen out of place. Even when he was so high he could barely remember his own name or understand where he was, he would always take the time to fold his clothes and put his shoes in their right place before going to bed.

Andrew wonders what had changed.

He sits on the bed, on Aaron's bed, his body heavy, his tiredness bone-deep, and closes his eyes for a second, Aaron's freshly washed hoodie next to his head, the scent of honey and lilies invading his senses, Aaron's pale face right behind his eyelid.

------------- ------------ ---------

It's the sound of his own alarm that wakes him up again, a cat jumping on the bed and resting on his chest as the annoying and incessant sound of his alarm clock keeps ringing in his ears.

Andrew's eyes snap open.

He's lying under his light green covers, in his own bed, in his own house, King purring on his chest, waiting for Andrew to pet him like he does every morning, Aaron’s pale face still dancing behind Andrew's eyelids, his lifeless hands and unmoving chest tattooed on Andrew's brain.

He grabs his phone from where it's charging on the nightstand to look at the time but what catches his attention is the date written in big white letters on his phone screen: 7:09 am, Tue, 8 May.

Had it been just a dream? Just a cruel creation of his own imagination? But it had felt too real to be nothing more than a nightmare. Andrew can still recall every second of yesterday, of today, every step he took, every move he made, the way Aaron's cold skin had felt, the way his moonstone-white face had looked. How could it have been nothing more than a figment of his own fucked up imagination? How could it all have been fake when he could still feel the ache in his heart, so real and tangible?

He dials Aaron's number five times before his brother finally answers, his voice like a stab to Andrew's heart.

“What? Is something wrong?” Aaron asks as soon as he picks up the phone, worry clear in his tired voice.

Andrew wants to scream at him, to never speak to him again.

“Are you still clean?”

“What?” Andrew can hear the disdain in Aaron's voice but pointedly ignores it.

“Just answer. Are you still clean?”

“Yes, I am. Almost 10 years.”

“Do you feel like using again?”

“No?”

“Good. Don't,” Andrew says before hanging up the phone, Aaron's voice too painful to hear, the memory of his death too fresh in Andrew's mind even if it had been nothing more than a cruel dream conjured up by his treacherous mind.

Andrew finally feels like he can breathe again.

Eight hours and ten minutes later, Andrew's phone rings again, the soft voice of a doctor on the other side, the words coming out of her mouth venomous and wrong, lies that Andrew can't comprehend, can't accept.

Not again, he wants to tell the counterfeit doctor.

Neil is at an away match on the other side of America. Nicky is an ocean away. Andrew is alone, standing in the middle of his living room with a dislocated shoulder, the now silent phone still clutched in his aching hand, spiders crawling under his skin, making their way into his throat, into his lungs, stopping the air from entering his body, his mind going numb, his brain unable to make sense of the three words circling inside his head, bouncing around his skull: Aaron is dead.

“This can't be happening again,” he says to an empty room, to a God he doesn't believe in, to the orange cat sunbathing on the windowsill.

Andrew was never one for denial, he found the whole concept silly and immature, but how he can he be relieving the worst moment of his life for a second time? Is he lying in Aaron's bed trapped in a nightmare? Has he died and gone to Hell, forced to relive the worst day of his life for the rest of eternity?

Andrew was never one for denial and yet there he stands, the truth sounding like a lie, reality looking like a cruel and humourless joke, denial grabbing him by the throat and choking him out.

Look after the cats, he texts Jake-the-neighbour as heads to his car in a trance, his mind lost in a fog he can't disperse.

The drive from New York to Boston is only 4 hours, Andrew had taken the same exact path yesterday, he had cursed at the same exact people he is currently speeding past.

Andrew can feel his hands tightening on the wheel and he wonders why speeding. He has already seen Aaron's lifeless body lying in that dim hospital room. He has already stood by his bedside and held his cold hand, has already felt Aaron's icy skin under his warm lips. It won't matter if he gets there in five minutes or five days, the outcome would be the exact same.

The traffic in Boston is a nightmare, red lights that won't turn green, green lights that always turn red, endless cars imperfectly lined one after the other just waiting for their turn to finally move past a traffic light just be immediately stopped by another, lawless intersections that Andrew thinks are going to be the death of him.

Andrew has always hated driving in the city and Aaron knew that. How dare he make him drive through it for a second time? What an asshole.

He walks inside the hospital as soon as his car is parked, the sound of the sirens as they race behind him loud as he bumps into the people who are walking in and out of that imposing white building, the first rays of sun already starting to sink into the horizon, the sky turning dark.

When he walks inside, the nurse in yellow scrubs gasps loudly as soon as she sees him like she had the day before, the tablet in her hands slipping to the ground as she looks at him pale-faced and wide-eyed.

“I'm so sorry,” nurse Mary says while running to her side and pushing the stunned nurse away. “You look just-”

“I know,” he says, walking past her and heading towards the room where Aaron is resting.

“Oh- wait,” the nurse says running after him. “I can take-”

“I know where he is.”

“That's okay,” she says, trying to catch up with him but remaining silent as they walk in the right direction.

“You can go,” he says as soon as they reach the white door.

“Well, alright,” Mary says a little flustered. “My condolences.”

Andrew doesn't wait for her to leave before walking inside the dim room and closing the door behind himself.

He ignores the bed on the right, immediately heading towards the one occupied by his brother's body. The quiet inside the room deafening as he removes the sheet from Aaron's face and gently caresses his cold and icy cheek, his fingers grazing over his once-soft skin, over his long hair.

“How can you do this to me twice?” he asks the silent corpse. “That's cruel Aaron. That's just too fucking cruel.”

He looks at his brother for a few more seconds before shaking his head. “Is this some kind of divine punishment?” he asks towards the sky. “This is not fair. It's not fair.”

He covers Aaron's unloving face and walks out of the room and towards the doctors’ changing room as quickly as he can.

He wishes he could bleach his brain and remove the image of Aaron's lifeless body from his memory but he knows it will haunt all of his dreams, all of his waking moments.

“Wow. He looks like a better version of Dr Minyard.”

“Mr Minayrd-” Marys says.

“I know. Locker thirteen,” he interrupts her before entering the changing room and taking only Aaron's house keys and the Foxe’s picture out of the locker before bolting out of the hospital and speeding towards Aaron's apartment.

He doesn't know what he's doing, what he's looking for, what he's hoping to achieve, he just keeps looking all over Aaron's house as if he could find a solution there, an explanation.

“What am I supposed to do?” he asks the empty house and receives no reply, a picture of him, Aaron and Nicky during their graduation staring at him from its silver frame.

He lies on Aaron's carpet, the picture in his arms, staring at the bright light on the ceiling until his vision becomes blurry and there are black spots in his eyes.

It's the sound of his own alarm that wakes him up again, a cat jumping on the bed and resting on his chest as the annoying and incessant sound of his alarm clock keeps ringing in his ears.

Andrew's eyes snap open

[stellar-constellations]

An Alliance (Part 4)

        Fem! Spy! (Y/N) x Yuri Briar

        Parts: One, two, three, current part, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten (to be continued when Spy x Family has more Yuri content!)

        (Y/N) is given her own backstory that is important for the story!

        The setting for this story is based off West and East Germany's (because Spy x Family is heavily based off Germany in the 1940-1950) laws (or at least replicated to the best of my abilities since it's unknown what time period Spy x Family is exactly in, we'll go with 1950 for the sake of this story). 

        Historically-accurate women misogyny and mistreatment! Only small comments and historically-accurate laws (replicated to the best of my ability). 

        The story, plot, and settings might not match up to the Spy x Family manga as it's not completed and the manga is still being crafted.

        This series contains spoilers for the manga and anime!

        I followed the first and second-lieutenant down the city hall hallway, holding our heads up high and walking with purpose. I tried to appear confident but I wasn't quite sure if I was as convincing as Briar and lieutenant—I look like a joke compared to them and it's all cause of my height (I'm sorry if you're not under 5'10").

        I mentally glared at Briar and lieutenant.        

        If I was taller, people would take me more seriously. Maybe if I was 6'6", Briar would stop being a jerk.

        I ignored the thought we entered an open-door room. Immediately, Jim was nervous.

        "D-do you people need something?!" he spoke, nervous in his seat.        

        Tsk-tsk. You're already acting like you know why we're here.

        The lieutenant showed Jim his SSS badge, then spoke: "We're from the State Security Service. Jim Hayward, correct? You're under arrest for suspicion of espionage."

        Me and Briar both walked behind him and grabbed his arms.

        "Y-you think I'm a spy?! Hey, wait!" he exclaimed as we dragged him as he tried sliding his feet on the floor.

        People gathered around, shocked and scared at the scene they're witnessing

         Wussies. And why the hell is everyone here? Does nobody know how to mind their damn business? I thought, my anger starting to raise as we were being gawked at by noisy bystanders. 

        "Stop this! Let me go!" Jim protested.

        "Shut up. You can give your story back at HQ." Lieutenant spoke. 

        Thank you. I was about to tell him off in a much more unprofessional way. 

        We dragged him to an armored van, throwing him in the back as me and Briar closed the door and opened the backseat doors, hopping in as first-lieutenant jumped in the passenger-seat. 

        "Drive to HQ." Lieutenant ordered the driver.

        The driver nodded as he sped off. I softly sighed and leaned my head on Briar's shoulder. 

        "Get. Off..." he harshly muttered, nudging me away from him.

        I glared at him, sticking out my tongue before leaning back on his shoulder.

        "I don't wanna..." I muttered back.

        "I don't care what you want..." he quickly retorted.

        I mentally whined, leaning off of Briar and huffing as I crossed my arms and legs to show I was angry.

        "Thank you for your assistance today, you two." The lieutenant spoke, causing me and Briar to both jump slightly, forgetting that he was here. 

        I looked up and saw him staring at us from the driver mirror. 

        "T-thank you, sir!" Briar quickly spoke, nodding his head in respect. 

        "Y-yes! Thank you for allowing me to accompany you both on this mission." I smiled, nodding my head too. 

        I didn't really want him to assume I was being disrespectful or naive; this guy kind of scares me.

        .

        .

        The Director waited outside of the interrogation room with me and Briar, waiting for any word from the lieutenant. 

        "Second-lieutenant Briar and female-lieutenant Mrs. Briar." The Director acknowledged, then looked at Briar. "Show your wife how it's done." The Director spoke, placing a cigar in his mouth.        

        Briar smiled, his eye twitching as I mentally gagged. We didn't say nothing since other officers were around us.

        "Yes, sir!" he saluted as I quickly copied his actions, "I'll give this my best shot!" he smiled, his eyes darkening as I mentally eyed him, confused with his sudden confidence in this.

        Is there something up his sleeve?

        We both walked into the dark room, seeing Jim facing the wall and at Lieutenant. A man sat in a nearby desk, documenting everything on paper as he wrote. 

        "Good work, Lieutenant. The boss asked me to switch in." Briar spoke.

        "Okay. I'll leave him to you two." Lieutenant spoke, a cigarette in his mouth as he stood up and patted Briar's shoulder.

        He walked over to me and patted me on the head. I watched him leave the room, visibly shocked and glaring holes into the back of his head.

        What'd he do that for?! Why didn't he pat me on the shoulder like Briar? Was that his way of saying he doesn't respect me as he does to Briar? Did he do that cause I'm a woman? Was it because of the height difference? I know Briar's more his height but the audacity of that man!

        Briar took a seat in front of Jim as I decided to watch a few steps away, watching closely to see how different he decided to take the approach as he did to me the first time we met.

        "Hello there, Mr. Hayward." Briar spoke, taking off his hat and taking a seat, just as he did when we met yesterday.

        "...I have nothing to say." Jim sighed.

        I took a good look at his face and did my best not to cackle.

        I guess being a woman isn't that bad if I don't get tortured like him. I thought to myself.

        Mr. Hayward had a completely bruised and swollen left eye, his face bruised and bloody as blood trickled from his nose and mouth (he was also missing a tooth). His arms and hands were burnt with cigarettes; I was able to tell from the specific blisters swelling up a pale red and the container containing smushed cigarettes (also because lieutenant walked out with a cigarette in his mouth). 

        "Listen to this!" Briar spoke excitedly, leaning on the table. "After this, I'll be going to congratulate my sister on her wedding!" 

        Now that caught me off guard.

        We're going to visit Briar's sister? I thought, before immediately shaking my head. Of course I'm not. Briar would never trust me around his dear sister, he doesn't even trust me to make coffee without running! Not to mention he gags just at the thought of us being legally married, so there's no way he's making me see his sister. He'll probably just drop me off in the Director's office.

        That thought made me angry. I wanna meet her! I want to know if she's a jerk like Briar or if she's nice!

        "I haven't even seen her for so long! I can't wait!" Briar cheered. 

        "Uh...okay..." Jim spoke, confused.

        "She's so kind and beautiful! I've always been so proud of my sister." Briar continued on.

        I silently-huffed, crossing my arms as I showed my distaste. 

        Why he is so excited? It's just family? If my family was still alive, I'd be visiting them every weekend! It feels like I have competition for Briar, and I hate it.

        Competition? For Briar? I mentally gagged. No, no. I just don't want him to get distracted. Maybe if he realizes his sister knows about me, he'll kill me because he's so ashamed of his sister finding out about me! I'm not worried about fighting for his attention! That would be childish of me.

        Yeah...childish...

        Just the thought of imagining this kind, beautiful, older sister of Briar's just left a disgusting, bitter taste in my mouth that not even plain black coffee or aloe could compete too. 

        I'm not jealous! I thought, tapping my boot on the ground to cope as I bit my cheek harder. 

        "Um, but...I..." Jim was utterly confused, just like me.

        "Oh! And she even works at the same office as you!" Briar beamed.

        The financial department in city hall? Is that why Briar wanted to know who I met when I was at city hall for a recent mission? Wow! He must really hate me if he doesn't want his sister to even know of my presence!

        I bit my cheek even harder, my foot tapping more rapidly as I started to dig my nails into my arms. 

        "That reminds me, I really need to call her office soon! Actually, I still haven't told her I'm coming..." Briar spoke, looking at the watch on his wrist. "Anyways, I'd like to finish this up and clock out. So how about you just tell me everything real quick?" Briar smiled. 

        "T-there's nothing to tell! This whole accusation is bullcrap!" Jim shouted.

        I watched as Briar pulled that yellow envelope out of his pocket that he collected from his office earlier. He emptied out the contents of it, showing pictures of Jim Hayward giving a man with a trench coat, suitcase, and hat a folder. 

        Ooo. Red-handed! I thought, resisting the urge to gasp. Wait, where did he get those if he didn't know about Jim yesterday?        

        "These are photos of you handing over the documents. That is you, right, Mr. Hayward?" Briar smiled contently. 

        "Hold on! You! Why weren't these photos in evidence until now!?" the man documenting this shouted, hastily writing with one hand as he looked at Briar, holding a photo of Jim Hayward committing treason in his other hand.        

        "Sorry, I forgot to turn them over. Ha ha." Briar smiled. 

        I eyed him suspiciously but decided not to say anything until later. 

        Hayward looked down and scoffed in defeat. He stayed quiet for a minute before speaking. 

        "...All I did was make copies of the documents they asked for and leave them at the designated location in exchange for cash." He admitted. "It's true that I don't know anything about the other man. Not even his name. Just that he's from the West." 

        Briar immediately looked at me, causing me to mentally scoff and shake my head: "He said a man; not a woman." I said with my eyes. "Wasn't me."        

        Briar looked back at Jim. "Did you notice anything unusual about him? The way he speaks? Body language? Maybe just an uncomfortable feeling? For example, did anything about him not match his apparent age?" Briar questioned.

        "I'm not sure... I don't remember anything like that..." Jim spoke. 

        "Alright then." Briar sighed, leaning his head on his hands. "Have you ever heard the name...Twilight?" he questioned. 

        Twilight again? Really? He should really change his codename or something since all of SSS knows that name. He must've slipped up and had a witness if his codename got in the hands of SSS. I wasn't even a known spy until that mole screwed me over. I thought, mentally scoffing. If I ever meet the bastard that got me in this situation, I'll do WISE a favor and execute the mole. 

        "Huh? Whose that?" Jim questioned.

        "A spy from the West. A master of disguise. And a villain who would throw this country into chaos. You could call him a natural enemy of an organization like ours." Briar explained.

        I mentally rolled my eyes. And here he goes again with his caveman talk of "West bad! East good!"         

        "S-so you'd let me off the hook if I help you catch him...?" Jim questioned, a hope in his eyes and tone. 

        "Well, do you know anything?" Briar questioned, serious as he leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms.

        "H-hold on, I'm remembering something..." Jim spoke, making me cock an eyebrow at his obvious lie.

        "Do keep in mind that feeding us nonsense will only add to your crimes." Briar pointed out.

        "...C'mon! I wasn't trying to hurt anyone! I just wanted some pocket change to mess around with girls! Honest!" Jim cracked. 

        "Don't you have a wife though...?" Briar questioned, judgment in his voice. 

        I resisted the powerful urge to slap Jim in the back of the head and scream my head off about his behavior and motivations. 

        "You're a man, you know how it is! Don't you want to sow your oats?" Jim spoke, trying to defend himself very poorly. “All I did was lose some scraps of paper, right? That’s not treason, right? You’ll let me go, right?” Jim spoke, smiling nervously as his eyes widened.

        “You know, Mr. Hayward. I’m keeping my job at the SSS a secret from my sister. After all, you can never be too careful in this line of work. But more importantly…” Briar reached into his pocket and grabbed black gloves as I leaned closer to see what he was about to do.

        “I don’t want her to know how much dirty work I have to do.” He spoke, quickly grabbing Jim’s head and slamming it down on the desk. 

        I jumped, gawking as the transcriber looked back to make sure I was alright, to which I nodded to as I observed closely from a different distance as I took a step back.

        “What you’ve done, Mr. Hayward, is absolutely treason.” Briar spoke, keeping Jim’s head down. “Maybe to you it was just a scrap of paper. But do you realize how many of our civilian’s lives you put in danger? Unlike you, I love my family. I love my sister. And I’ll do anything to protect the country she lives in.” Briar spat out harshly.

        Aw. That’s kind of cute but definitely not the time right now. I thought to myself.

        “Anything.” He spoke sinisterly, leaning forward and darkening his voice. 

        Yeah, not so cute anymore. I thought to myself.

        Briar sighed and looked back to the documenter. “Was that enough of a confession?” 

        The transcriber nodded, giving him a thumbs up. 

        “Good work, sir.” He spoke.

        Briar stood up, removing his hand from Jim. Jim shot up immediately and stared at him, shocked and shitless out of his mind.

        “W-what happens to me?” Jim questioned.

        “Oh. You’ll be going away for a very, very long time.” Briar smiled, removing his gloves. “But that doesn’t bother you, right? You won’t see your wife ever again, so what’s the problem?” 

        “H-hey! Wait! You can’t just leave me!” Jim spoke as Briar walked towards me.

        “You got him, right?” Briar questioned towards the transcriber.

        “Yep. Have a good day, sir.” He answered.

        Briar walked out, closing the door as I followed behind him, keeping a slight distance in case he was still mad. 

        “Did I scare you?” he questioned.

        “Yeah.” I admitted. “But your strength was kind of hot.” I spoke, causing Briar to whip his head around so damn quickly.

        “I—! You! You can’t just say that out of nowhere, especially at work!” he shouted, causing me to laugh. “My strength is to provoke fear, not…that!” he spoke.

        “I was just being honest?” I spoke, tilting my head and acting like I did nothing wrong.

        “Yeah? Well, keep those thoughts to yourself.” He huffed, his face red as we continued walking down the hallway to the Director’s office.

        We knocked, which was answered by an “enter.” 

        “Here you two are! My favorite workers!” he smiled. 

        I ignored the slight pride in my chest as the praise as Briar and I saluted. 

        “We got the confession from Jim Hayward.” Briar said.

        “Wonderful! I knew you could it, Mr. Briar. And how was the lesson, Mrs. Briar?” The Director asked me as me and Briar cringed.

        “Eh. It was…amusing and something I’m glad I didn’t miss.” I smiled, eyeing Briar as he huffed, his face going red.

        “I got a question for you, sir.” I spoke up.

        “It better not be something stupid.” Briar mumbled to me.

        “Why do I got the hat? I mean, it’s cute and all, but isn’t it for lieutenants? That, and it has roses.” I questioned, pointing at the hat.

        “It’s cute. And you’re our first female lieutenant. Who knows, we could have a female branch in the SSS and you’ll be in charge!” The Director spoke, fantasizing.

        “Segregation.” I pointed out.

        “But it’s not discriminatory.” The Director smiled.

        “Not in your book...” I grumbled, crossing my arms.

        “It’s a cute look. At least I didn’t give you the pink uniform, I was really contemplating it too.” The Director sighed, causing me look at him disgusted.

        “Yeah. Thanks for not ordering that pink uniform.” I sighed.

        “Actually, I’d think it’d suit you.” Briar chuckled.

        “You think?” The Director questioned, excited as he smiled.

        “No!” I retorted.

        “Yes. Especially because it’ll match your stuffed bun—“ I elbowed Briar hard in the stomach, causing him to double over and groan as the Director immediately decided to not laugh. 

        “That wasn’t cute…” Briar wheezed out as I smiled.

        “Sorry, honey.” I chuckled as Briar groaned, rolling his eyes as he stood up straight. 

        “Well, we should get going and clock out.” Briar spoke, a smile on his face (probably from thinking of his sister).

        “Oh, you’re not going to ditch me here?” I questioned. 

        “No? I mean, it’s a good idea.” Briar spoke. "Do you want that?"

        “Don’t leave me!” I immediately shut down the idea. “I just thought since you’re going to visit your sister you’d hide me.” I spoke.

        “Your visiting your sister?” The Director spoke. “That’s cute. Meeting your in-laws already.” 

        “Yeah. Couple goals.” I spoke sarcastically. 

        “Who said I was going to leave you? I have to make sure you don’t do something stupid. But there will be rules.” Briar stated.

        “Yes, sir.” I spoke, saluting, then looked at the Director. “Bye, Director, sir.” I spoke, bowing as Briar said his own goodbye.

        We walked out of the office and down the many hallways, getting to the outside of the locker rooms. He told me to"wait here", then grabbed our bags from his locker since I don't have my own locker yet.

        “Alright. I’m going to go change in the locker rooms, you go change in the fitting rooms there. We will meet right here. If you are not here in five minutes, I’ll pull this alarm right here and the whole building will go in lockdown.” Briar explained, pointing to a red button with a glass case surrounding it.

        “Okay.” I nodded. 

        I grabbed my bag that Briar handed to me and I walked to the changing room, quickly changing into my black long-sleeved shirt, black tights, dark gray shorts, and my black shoes. I stuffed my uniform into my bag and walked out of the room, stopping at the spot me and Briar agreed to meet at and waiting for him. 

        “Took you long enough.” I spoke playfully as he walked to me. 

        I grabbed his hand and held it, then made our way to the parking lot.

        “We’re going to go stop by a bouquet before we get there.” Briar spoke, and I nodded.

        We entered the car (with no tomfoolery from Briar) and shoved our bags in the backseat. We had a quiet and peaceful moment of silence, Briar drumming this fingers on the steering finger as I looked out the window. The sun was setting already.

        Has it really been that long? Today felt so short and…strangely fun? I thought. That’s weird. I’m not supposed to be enjoying my time with the enemy. I should be finding a way back to WISE's HQ before they realize I’m alive and working with the enemy. 

        “Yuri.” Briar suddenly spoke.

        I looked at him, confused. 

        “What?” I questioned.

        “My first name is Yuri, my last name is Briar.” He sighed.

        I looked at him, surprised as I blinked.

        “Don’t think you earned it—because you didn’t. But my sister doesn’t know about us at all; I just told her today that you’re my wife and that you’re coming with me for our visit.” Briar, no, Yuri, spoke.

        I smiled, my heart swelling at how he didn’t say “wife” with any sort of disgust or regret, simply stating it as if it was second nature.

        “My sister also doesn’t know about our jobs as the SSS, and she’s not allowed to know either. If you tell her, it’ll be a breach of the contract and I’ll execute you—with or without permission from the Director. My sister means more to me than my job or your life because of all she’s done for me. I won’t allow you to disrespect or take her kindness to your advantage. You will follow my lead.” Yuri spoke.

        I hummed, nodding to show I understood as I looked out the window, the sky darkening.

        “Yuri, Yuri…” I muttered. “I really love your name, Yuri. I think it suits you.” I admitted, turning my head so he could see my honesty as I smiled.

        He huffed, grumbling out a "thanks" as he hid his face.

        Parts: One, two, three, current part, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten (to be continued when Spy x Family has more Yuri content!)

        Want more Yuri content? Check out these headcannons and one shots!

        Yuri Briar x Sick! Fem! Reader

        Slightly mean! Yuri Briar x Fem! Reader

Yuri Briar x Fem! Reader headcannons + other fandoms!

        Have any requests? Check my masterlist to see the characters I write for: Masterlist (Please request, I have too much free time and too little fics).

[1348ts]

Snow (pt.1 invite)

avengers x teen fem reader.  

Back story

the reader is a 16-year-old girl with ice superpowers she was a baby when she got sent to Earth (why she doesn't know but she thinks it was because her parents didn't want her) she was found by HYDRA and raised there she was mistreated, used, shot at, train, electrified and so must worst when she turned 5 she didn't feel anything of the things they did to her and even if she did she would never let them know they have too much fun with that. one morning after her daily ¨training¨ she found a baby in her room and later learn she had to care for him she named him Chris. she did she wanted the best and to have Hydra give that she had to do horrible things her name was ¨frost bite¨ cause she freeze people when she was 14 (Chris 9) in her daily ¨training¨ he was the one in the chair and he was the one getting hurt and they didn't stop. she had gotten attached and Hydra didn't like that she tried to get to him but was too late he had passed there was nothing left of him and it was painful for both of them all the anger and sadness broke her even so that she lost control the whole base exploded and she grabbed a picture of them together and ran.  

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Two years later reader is 16 now still on the run but she was trained to beat the best to be the best. you had a mission with no stop you went from HYDRA base to HYDRA base with maybe a week between each attack the goal was that nobody ever got hurt by them again. you have so many identities you gave yourself a different name ¨snow¨ and even a normal name ¨Chloe Hallow¨ you closed a painful chapter in your life and started to do better. but on one mission in Germany, something happened that wasn't supposed to happen it was a big base and it turned out the Avengers had heard too and much to our luck they weren't in the way they tried to talk to you and then catch you but failed miserably. you had read about them and everything but you didn't care cause it wasn't useful. Still, now they were very interesting you postponed your planned missions for about 3 weeks by the end you knew everything you even entered the ¨secured¨ compound and snooped through some stuff (nobody nodest). Still, hey you are the best there is you created an account and mailed Mr Fury giving him base locations I mean there are a lot and you could use some help. when he got the mail all the bells went off who sent him that? how doesn't give out his mail not even the Avengers have it? how do you know that there are bases there? he asks you all of those questions in his mail to you. your reply was simply ¨meet me at the coffee shop on 23 Main Street tomorrow at 4:30 PM come alone otherwise I won't show. O and don't tell anyone¨ so he cancelled his meetings and told no one and he got to the coffee shop at 4:27 Like clock-work 4:30 you walked in and sat down but before he could say something you said:¨I know I am young but you want to know you I got your mail Mr Fury and I'm willing to give that information¨ you say ¨go ahead tell me¨ Fury states¨well simply I went in you ¨secure¨ compound and got it from your computer¨ he looks at you impressed ¨and how-¨ he starts but you cut him off ¨how do I know where those bases are? I have my ways¨ you answer he looks at you and says ¨I have a team super heroes you'd be perfect I have seen you're file it is very impressive from whats known at least ¨ ¨im not interested I have a lot of things to do¨ you reason both of you argue for a good while at the end Fury convinces you (that's what he likes to think but you need some chance and you know it it is gonna be hard but you can do it ) you agree to come in on Friday (that's 3 days from now). 

if you want more parts just let me know

PS: don't mind the mistakes pls

[starlight-and-the-moon]

AHHHHHHHHH

gift for the @mcyt-halloween event for @a1sart

SORRY THIS TOOK ME SO LONG!!!!!!!

_______________________

He didn’t remember much of the accident.

He remembered chatting, talking, but about what?

His father turned around to respond, and in this moment- he could still hear the screams, could still hear metal crunching.

Ranboo buried his parents a week later. 

After this… incident, he was taken into foster care, sent to a strange town. Ranboo would survive, he had to, but at what cost?

Luckily, this cost would never be found, for his sister had come home from Germany.

Niki was a woman of many strengths. After their parent’s passing, she saved and saved so she could come back to the United States to take care of her little brother. A miracle came in the form of the house on Prime Path.

The real estate agent warned her of a haunting, mysterious incidents in the house, but why would she listen? It made the market value drop. 

So that was how Ranboo, aged sixteen, found himself in front of a single story house in the middle of nowhere.

“Okay, so, welcome to the place,” Niki said, trying to appear confident.

Her emotions were always, forever, present. And she let them be, because why would she not?

Ranboo could never, Crying hurt their soul in a way that bled.

Niki continued talking. “I set up your stuff in the attic, come take a look!”

Dubiously, Ranboo climbed the ladder to the attic. Surprisingly, it seemed… half decent.

There was a bed and a bookcase, with a wardrobe against the other wall. On the bed was a black, small book.

“My memory book,” they whispered. “Thank you, Niki. Really.”

Niki looked at him, and smiled. “THis is hard, but we will get through this, okay? I am here.”

Ranboo hugged his sister, overcome with emotions. Not the sad stuff, the happiness. Or maybe not that.

It was the feeling of driving by a childhood home. It was the feeling of reading an old favorite book, almost forgotten.

Wrapped in this feeling, neither sibling noted two little shadows, watching from the ceiling. 

ᯓ★

As Ranboo settled into the house, strange things would happen.

“Hey, Niki, did you see my notebook?” they asked one day.

“No!” his sister had shouted back. Ranboo and Niki had looked everywhere for the memory book, but they didn’t find it. It wasn’t on a random bookcase or on a counter, wasn’t in between the couch cushions.

Niki sighed. “Ran, maybe we should-” she slumped on the couch, then reached behind her. “Oh.”

In her hands was the little black book.

“That’s odd,” Ranboo whispered. “I could have sworn we checked there.” The irony of forgetting his memory book was not lost on him. But, there was nothing to be concerned about, so he slipped upstairs to the attic.

Another time, when Niki was out at her bakery, he’d made himself breakfast. 

“Where’s the milk…” he muttered. 

Cheerfully, a voice behind him shouted, “in the fridge, you menace.” He turned around to thank the voice-

-and then remembered he was home alone. Oh well.

These strange, recurring incidents came to a head on January 4th. Ranboo knew because it was all laid out in his journal- he’d stopped bringing it places in fear of losing it.

He had been rummaging for a letter he had received when he was young, needing to relive the memory. He reached up to the top shelf of the bookshelf-

-two pairs of eyes, one blue, one brown, met his. 

Excuse him for fainting straight away.

ᯓ★

“Tubbo, did you fucking kill him?’ a voice said above him.

HAnds on his wrist, hands on his face. 

“Nope, bossman. He seems alive.” 

Something slapped Ranboo’s wrist. He jolted up.

“Holy fuck, you can touch him!!!” the first voice yelled. Ranboo couldn’t quite make sense of it. “Does this mean-”

“No, I don’t think-”

The two boys fought back and forth while Ranboo observed their surroundings. The two boys seemed to be… translucent? One of them had blonde hair and bright blue eyes. When Ranboo tried to focus on him, his appearance distorted into green. 

The second boy, which was apparently Tubbo, was much shorter. Brownish eyes and brown hair. Both boys wore extremely dirty, tattered clothes. 

Ranboo cleared their throat. “Uh… what’s happening?”

The two boys craned their necks, turning around to look at him. 

“We’re your roommates, dumbass,” the blonde snarked. Tubbo elbowed him. 

“This ray of sunshine is Tommy,” Tubbo added. “I’m Tubbo. And yes, we are your roommates.”

“Wha- how?”

Tommy’s blue eyes appeared to cloud over. “S-sometime before, there was a man in the house. He liked to visit my brothers. One- one day, he was there, and the next… he found me taking a walk. I woke up and was like this. A spirit.”

Tubbo nodded. “Same here. I moved into this house, and one of the neighbor kids- he was coming towards me, and I woke up like this.”

Ranboo nodded. Then, a thought came to mind. “Prove it.”

Tommy stared, resembling a koi fish. But Tubbo stood. 

“As you wish.”

And, just like so, he walked through the wall.

Look, if he was going to faint twice in one day, he might as well do it with style.

ᯓ★

When Ranboo awoke, the sun was shining. 

“Get up, sleepyhead,” Niki said, standing on the attic to the ladder. “You have school.”

Ranboo’s blood ran cold. Ah, yes, the school. That was a thing. 

He had been good in school before the accident. After, he just couldn’t focus. It had been winter break, but now it was over, and with it came the greeting of a bell.

“Don’t get in trouble, Ranboo!” said Tommy’s voice from behind him. and Ranboo jumped.

“Tommy,” he said, voice patient. “You cannot do that.”

Tubbo faded in behind him. “Good luck in hell, bossman!” 

Ranboo’s brows knitted in concern. “Uh, why do you say that?” 

“I don’t know!” the smaller boy replied. “Now go!”

ᯓ★

The first day of school. to put it lightly, sucked. 

It was all a blur. 

“What’s your name?”

“Ranboo.”

“Alright, Ranboo, this is the class. Now everyone, pull out your notebook, we will be doing quadratic equations. If you fail, you will be executed.”

Or something like that. He might have exaggerated a tad. 

At lunch, he sat alone, picking at some questionable pizza. He made a mental note to ask Niki to start packing him a lunch.

“Yo, kid,” said a voice. “This is my table.” Ranboo looked up. The speaker wore a hoodie in the ugliest shade of green known to society, and his face was fully covered. 

Deflect, deflect, deflect. 

“...uh…”

“I said move!” the kid raised a fist, and Ranboo flinched back.

He did not need to worry, for the kid decided to punch himself in the face.

“W-what’s happening!” they screeched, before seeming to be yanked back.

Ranboo ate his lunch in peace that day.

ᯓ★

When Ranboo got home, Tommy and Tubbo greeted him.

“Hey-”

Ranboo looked at them. “Why did you follow me to school today?”

Both boys looked down, before Tommy spoke. “You’re literally the only one that can see us!”

Tubbo looked at the floorboards. “You have people, but we only have each other. We- we can’t risk it.”

What does it take, to be locked in a home on your own?

Suddenly, it all clicked for Ranboo.

Everyone would come and go, next to them but never able to see them.

No one could tell their story. No one could see them. No one but Ranboo.

What’s worse, finishing your story or writing more that no one will read?

“Oh…” he said softly. “Oh.”

The boys nodded. “Y-you’re the closest thing to a friend we’ve had in ages,” Tubbo explained.

Tommy nodded. “We’re sorry.”

Ranboo looked at them, in their eyes. Stared at them, saw past Tommy’s green static.

“No. Don’t be.”

And that was how a second beginning began.

There was a house on Prime Path once, where they said monsters lurked.

If you enter the house, you might see a woman baking. Climb the ladder, you’ll see a boy on the floor. He’ll be talking to someone, and you won’t see who.

It won’t matter. 

There is no monsters in this house.

And if things crash and break, and the lights flicker, just yell “I see you.”

Because anything looks like a monster if it’s shrouded away. 

[yantalia545]

Germany with a lover who was once in love with Yandere America who wants her back

Germany and America's relationship was already a bit on the rocks before you were involved but it definitely crumbles when tension arises between you three.

You were once in love with America some time ago and stayed with him through his most darkest and confusing times. It was believed that the two of you would stay together forever. The two of you were to most Instagram-jealous couple out there. Until one day, you had discovered just how deep America's love for you lay.

Maybe it was just obsession and possessiveness. Either way, it scared you to no end. You had to get out of there. Germany being a good friend of yours at the time was there to help you out and even offered a place in his house until things blew over.

Spoiler alert, they didn't. Things only got worse after you left America. He was agitated, desperate to get you back home as the perfect little couple you once were. However, it was too late for that. Things could never go back to the way they were.

After spending many months with Germany, the two of you fell in love. Much to America's despair. He would never give up though. He'll have the life with you that he desires if it's the last thing he even does.

America just needed to plan carefully and wait for everything to fall back in his favor...like today

~~~~~~~~~

It was a horrid day for the axis today. They were being trailed for their war crimes. Germany is being punished for the worse. America was being held up by the Allied nations as part of the deal. For his help in their efforts, he would be paid most handsomely.

"The trial for Ludwig (forgot last name), is now in session," England stated from across the courtroom. All attention was on him while Germany adored a prisoner's orange jumpsuit and handcuffed to a chair. Russia and China are on either side of him in case of any abrupt actions. America couldn't help the smile that crossed his lips as he gazed at Germany's pitiful state.

"Mr. Ludwig, you are found guilty of your crimes against the Allied nations. You admit to the war-torn you have caused, yes?" England gestured to Germany to answer. The people present in the court holding onto every word said.

"Y-yes." Germany replied rather sourly. As if today of all day could get any worse. He had hoped that he could have set things straight so that America could never bother you again and here he was, being blamed as if he were the bad guy here.

"I see," England nodded. "The court had now requested that (Y/n) (L/N) will now be present." As if on cue, France brought in your kicking and screaming self. It had been months since you were last seen and here you were; Strung up for everyone like a piece of meat.

Germany's eyes widened and tried to get up from his seat. However, his cuffs and Russia held him in place. His stern gaze immediately fell onto America.

"You bastard! You better not have done anything to her!"

America didn't say a word. He didn't have to. His smile said it all.

"As punishment for your crimes, Ludwig, you shall lose all ownership over foreign lands. This includes (C/N)." England began. "For the punishment of (Y/N) (L/n), in aid of the Axis powers, all political and economic power shall be withheld and handed over to the United States of America. Objections will lead to further investigation and punishment."

As England stated these horrible obligations, Your eyes began to well with tears. There was no way you were going back to America. You had fought so hard to get away from him and now Germany was being punished for it too. Germany began screaming as you could only silently cry in France's hold.

In an exaggerated effect, America rushed from his seat and over to you. Trying the soothe your tears while a taunting smile was shown to Germany. Making his blood boil even more.

"You see now darling, he could never protect you the way I could. He didn't stand a chance against me. And neither do you. I'll always be the victor in the end."

"You leave her alone!" Germany shouted from across the room. Held down by Russia once again. He was powerless. Unable to do anything you stood there and sobbed. He couldn't even reassure you that everything was going to be alright. Who knows what that creep America has in store for you.

Another smirk was passed his way. America was eating the moment up. He had been waiting for this for a long time and he was loving every second.

"Let's go home now, doll face. We have no need to stay around here. Not when there's plenty to do at home~" America whispered huskily in your ear. The feeling of something hard pressing against your thigh made you shutter in disgust and fear. You had no intention of finding out what he meant by that.

Today was a most delightful day indeed. The day America got you back.

[pricescigar]

I promise

Summary: With Harper's 18th Birthday, Shaw gives her a choice that contemplates with everything. And with Charles leaving to go to university, she faces her difficulties to pursue her own dreams.

Westchester, New York, 1950

December 15th

Today was Harper's 18th Birthday, though there wasn't much to celebrate with her grandparents. Since they were away for a week just to get away from the bustling City, and probably away from her too. Which Harper didn't seem to mind too much, she preferred when they weren't around anyway. She always loved it when she had the house to herself, her mind felt a little bit more quiet then. Much easier to handle her thoughts, especially when other eyes weren't questioning her motives and moves…

Shortly after her grandparents left Harper was practising on playing her Harp in her bedroom, reading the music sheet as she played. Hearing a loud knock at her front door broke her out of her trance, she sighed softly in frustration. Gently setting her Harp down, she headed downstairs and opened the front door.

“Dad..?” Harper spoke softly. That's what she's always known him as, all the cards and presents he sent to her. Of course he signed it off as “Dad” Well that was because she was his dad, but with her mind in the state as it is. She remembers him, but sometimes she can’t.

Shaw stood there patiently waiting for the door to be opened, he was holding a bag in one of his hands as well. Elegantly dressed in a suit as always, there hasn't been a day where he hasn't worn a suit. When the door did open, he flashed a smile at her.

“Happy Birthday my Harper, eighteen years old… I'm so proud of you. My sweet little girl.” Shaw said while pulling her into a hug.

Harper was surprised by the hug, but she hugged him back. They two remained like that for a moment before pulling away. “Thanks…” She spoke softly. “You know my grandparents said-”

“They're not here Harper.” Shaw interrupted her. “I know they don't want me here, but they can't stop me from seeing my own daughter. Can they? You're an adult now after all…” His tone was a little firm. “May I come in?” His voice suddenly became softer this time.

Harper stayed silent before she nodded letting him in, watching him walk inside she closed the door before following him into the living room.

“You know the mind, it's an interesting thing.” Shaw started to speak. “Especially in your case…” He looked around the living room, before he then sat down on the sofa, watching Harper sit down next to him.

“I can help you.” He spoke again. “Help you remember the things you have forgotten… Especially when you were much younger…” Shaw looked at her watching her contemplate everything. Maybe he was feeling nostalgic about it all, the memories of Harper when she was just a little girl… Always wanting to be beside him, wanting to see what kind work he was doing. Part of him missed those days...

Then Harriet took her away from him. After Shaw tried to look for her but couldn't find her, he went to Germany until the war ended and went back to America. And then he found her again…

When her powers finally manifested.

But truly, he was proud of her. Even if he wasn't there physically. What she could already do at her age… Even if she couldn't fully remember everything, that was okay because at the end of the day. She was still his daughter, and he still loved her as such.

If he could just convince to join her.

The two would be unstoppable together.

“I want to remember… But I feel like my brain is holding me back.” She began to explain to him. “When I did what I did to mum and Freddie, it felt like everything went black… And then when I could finally open my eyes, everything felt fuzzy.” Harper admitted. “Like… I remember you but then I don't, I remember other things, it just disappears… All the time.”

Shaw listened to her before nodding a little, he contemplated his words before speaking.

“Sometimes the brain has a funny way of protecting yourself from things… But don't you worry about that.” He reassured her. “I have a gift for you, my special birthday girl.” He smiled, handing the gift bag over to her.

Harper smiled softly, gently taking the gift bag from him. “Thank you…” She spoke, she looked into the bag taking the gift out before she began to unwrap the ribbon from the box.

Inside of the medium sized box was an old necklace which was beloved to her mother, it's old and antique look was still perfectly intact Harper admired it. “Oh wow, it's beautiful.” Harper commented.

“I gifted it to your mother the first night we decided to date.” Shaw said as he picked up the necklace putting the necklace around Harper's neck. “And it looks absolutely beautiful on you.” He smiled.

“Thanks dad…” Harper spoke softly, she then looked at him with a smile. “I'll cherish it and protect it with my life.” She promised him.

“You should join me, you know? I have a club on a Vegas strip. Well almost, planning to, you know how things go.” Shaw smiled sheepishly. “But. I'd love to have you there, by my side. We can be a family again.”

“I'd like to, but it's my grandparents... No one to take care of them, I'll think about it though…” Harper looked at him, not really fully giving him an open answer.

Shaw nodded, deep down he was a little bit disappointed but she was an adult now. Free to make her own choices after all, but part of him still wanted her to join him.

“Whatever makes you comfortable.” Shaw placed a hand on her shoulder. “But, I'll visit again. Hopefully by then you've made your choice. By then...” He then looked at her again.

“You are worth so much more, you deserve a better life. And I will make sure of that.” His tone was confident. “I won't stay too long. I bet you have a lot planned, I should get going, but enjoy your day okay?” He said before kissing her head. “Take care of yourself, okay?”

Harper smiled at him, nodding in agreement. “Yeah… See you soon.” She looked at Shaw, she stood up from her seat and she showed him out of the home watching him leave. A soft sigh escaped her lips, she stayed silent contemplating her thoughts.

The offer did seem interesting to Harper, but so many thoughts were swimming in her mind..

After Shaw left Harper took a moment to compose herself, she left the empty gift box aside and left her home for the evening. Wanting to go and see Charles and Raven. Since she always celebrated her birthday with them too. She headed into the Mansion where Charles and Raven surprised her with a small happy birthday party. They celebrated by giving her a big birthday cake, various presents as well.

Charles bought her an expensive necklace, earrings and a bracelet that came as a set along with her favourite perfume.

Raven brought Harper the various clothes she pointed out a while ago, when the two went out shopping. But Harper didn't end up buying them, since the clothes were so expensive. Which is why Raven secretly brought them while Charles and Harper headed into the bookstore instead.

After they had dinner and had a birthday cake, the three of them listened to music and played board games together.

Later in the night Charles and Harper had a little bit of alone time in the library, where the two of them always hung out together. Which is where Charles broke the news to her…

“Wait …You're leaving Charles?” Harper was in disbelief as she looked at Charles, both of them sat in the grand library in his family home. “Where to?” She asked softly.

“I got accepted into University, Oxford in England to be precise. I want to become a professor. To understand our mutations more, eventually to find others like us too.” Charles began to explain to Harper.

“There's nothing more that I want to help people, to help people like us.” He then held her hands. “You should come with Raven and I Harper, escape from all of this.” He offered it to her.

Harper took his hands into hers. “I'd love to come with you Charles, really I would. But my grandparent's, they're not getting any younger now. Someone would need to take care of them.” Her voice was soft. “As much as I hate them, part of me doesn't want to leave them…”

Charles stayed silent and nodded, he understood the situation. He also knew he was asking a lot from her, a big choice to make.

“You know you can always visit me whenever you want, and I'll happily accommodate you. I'll always write to you.” His hand reached over to caress Her cheek.

“And I'll write to you too.” Harper whispered softly, she smiled as she said that. But there was also a hint of sadness in her eyes, she didn't want him to leave. But Harper also knew he wanted to pursue his dreams. “I'll write to you as much as I can.”

Charles leaned in close to her face, placing her hands on her cheeks before kissing her lips tenderly. His lips were soft and gentle against hers. Harper was surprised by the sudden kiss, she closed her eyes happily returning the kiss back. The two remained like that for a moment longer, before he slowly pulled away from her.

Harper pulled away too, looking into his eyes for a moment before smiling softly. “Promise you won't forget me?” Her voice was a whisper.

“I promise. Can you promise the same thing?” Charles smiled, his voice was a whisper too.

Harper nodded with a smile on her face, she placed her hand on his cheek before she pressed her forehead against his.

“I promise.” Harper whispered back.

“You sure you don't want to come with me? You know it's okay if you change your mind down the line too.” Charles’ voice remained soft.

“Yeah… I'm sure, I don't want to get in the way of your dreams. It's okay.” Harper smiled at him reassuringly. “Do this for you.”

Charles didn't say anything for a moment, but he nodded a little. “Okay.” He finally whispered, he put a strand of hair behind her ear. “Will you stay with me tonight?”

“Of course.” Harper smiled, she placed her hand on his cheek. “I'll stay with you.”

After a couple months in the summer of 1951 Harper said her goodbyes to Charles and Raven, as they were about to leave to go on their way to England. She hugged both of them individually, tightly, not wanting to let them go. Especially Charles…

“Never forget me, okay?” Harper hugged Charles tightly, he too did the same hugging her with the same tightness.

“Never. I'll never forget you.” Charles’ tone was soft, he kissed her head. Holding her one last time, before finally letting her go holding her hand a little before he joined Raven in the car.

Harper watched the car leave, she waved Them a goodbye feeling an empty feeling in her chest as she watched the car disappear from her sight.

Feeling the tears forming in her eyes.

[an-abyss-of-stars]

☮ Rhaemond 70s Era Fic ☮

The year is 1978, 22yr old Rhaena Targaryen, is a singer/songwriter on tour in the States with her band Black Star. A folksy/bluesy rock band with music that rushes waves of ecstasy and ethereal beauty over whatever size crowd they play for. Rhaena graces the stage with all the grace and majesty of a fairy Princess or a glorious Goddess-like enchantress. Silver tresses and colourful flowing cape-like gowns that twirl and spiral with her every move, her sleeves hang like wings and flow as such as she spins and glides across the stage. She's known for losing herself in her music, as if she leaves her body on the stage and ascends to a higher place, her voice hypnotizing and mesmerizing her audience.

She's a marvel.

She's unreal.

A must see live.

With songs that spoke of mythical tales, dragons and burning lands, magic and royalty. And yet the song that was topping the charts recently was about a tortured lover, a dark figure who could not be shaken no matter how hard she tried. It was a song that left her screaming soaring notes out into the air, with so much anguish and internal rot, her rasping notes playing on par with the ripping final guitar solo.

And yet, the effervescent Rhaena Targaryen was not romantically tied to anyone, as far as the public knew.

They couldn't place the man she spoke of, but her emotional tale still ripped at the audience just right, connecting the feeling and the emotion...an unrequited love gone wrong.

An aggressively beautiful voice paired with the perfect music backing her. With a band that consisted with her as their lead vocalist, her twin sister Baela as both vocals and their lead guitarist, their half-sister Aemma as the keyboardist as well providing backing vocals with her other half-sister Aerea their bassist. Rounding out the band were Rhaena's two cousins, Aegon as their drummer and Daeron as their 2nd guitarist.

Black Star as a band and their music, was a growing sensation. So much so that Rolling Stones magazine had sent their very best writer to cover them, someone who reluctantly knew the genre well...knew the band even better...and after analyzing the lyrics, was quite certain he knew who that popular song was really about...

In 1978, 24yr old Aemond Targaryen, had worked his way up the writers ranks at Rolling Stones magazine. He'd always been an avid lover of music and culture, and while he could hold his own decently enough on guitar, it was more of a private activity as opposed to a career path. No, his talents lay on the written page, with his added photography skills. In his time at Rolling Stones he'd had the opportunity to interview some of the best the 70s had to offer. From Stevie Nicks and Lindsey Buckingham from Fleetwood Mac, Ozzy Osbourne and Tony Iommi of Black Sabbath, Dio, Buck Dharma of Blue Öyster Cult and even Donna Summer.

He'd worked his way from covering lower up and coming musicians and bands to meeting some of the greats. So it was to his surprise and slight disappointment when his chief editor slapped down a newspaper on his desk that read in bold letters "Black Star Shooting All The Way To The Top" and asked him to immediately jump on the task.

Maybe it was because he hadn't heard that band name in years...ignored it purposely for 4 years to be exact. Maybe it was because the moment his brothers had told him they were moving to Germany to "solidify their sound-" he stopped listening all together. Burning at the fact that his pretty little cousin...the one woman he wanted to stay within his orbit...was moving across the world to a whole nother continent, let alone country, just to get away from him.

Possibly it was because Aemond had been the one who fucked all it up to begin with. He'd been an idiot then, told her he loved in a letter...only for her to drive up just to see him making up with his on again off again girlfriend, Alys Rivers.

Rhaena had never let him explain, she wouldn't hear a word of the truth, the fact that Alys had practically lunged onto him, kissed like it would be forever. Only to turn around and dump him the week afterwards, Alys had said it was because "his heart wasn't in it", and truthfully it never was...

Only, Rhaena was back. And now there was a song playing on the radio, one that seared through him as it practically detailed the whole of their backforth relationship. There were technically three songs about him to be exact, although the other two seemed far more covert in their delivery. And now he was being forced to follow her...and the band…on their tour for their final 3 shows. Rolling Stones wanted it all, close and personal candid shots, interviews with the whole band, but most importantly he was meant to shine a light on their mysterious enchanting lead singer. To have her decode the songs and lyrics on their latest record.

If Aemond could look past the bitter sting of regret and the annoyance of how fate seemed to be weaving his life around. Then maybe he could see this for what it was, an opportunity to win her back...just maybe…

[im-suchanicegirl]

Hi! Feel free to answer this whenever you're rested from your trip. But I'd like to know how Germany was 🥰 (other than the guys from SPC saying you're a good photographer 🤭)

HIIIIII.

Im still on the adrenaline of the flight and all but oh my god im ready to leave again for Germany.

Some highlights:

- "the Germans" became "the Germs" and @lovesomehate and I must have said ‘fucking germs’ too often

- german tv had an after hour sexy ad thing with half naked girls and one of the ad was called ‘susie 9’ and i said "oh no, this is what susie the saxophone grew up to be"

- i was holding my phone saying HELLO FROM MONTREAL and Stefan R. saw it and pointed at me, i pointed back (like the spiderman meme) and he did a 🫶🏼 but i didnt get a picture

- Dan, when i said i was from Canada: Montreal??? What are you doing in Germany? IN LEIPZIG?? Did you get lost??

- jan, when he heard us speak french: were you at the electric callboy show in Montreal?? IT WAS SO HOT?? *rambles to @chaotic-gingey about it*

- being thoroughly confused by The Butcher Sisters every single night

- I sang Ein Zwei Polizei everytime we saw a police car (sorry @lovesomehate and @chaotic-gingey )

- It was Anne-Marie in Germany instead of Emilie in Paris, as I strolled in the morning to get breakfast, coffee and food from the grocery store.

- Germans are so fucking tall y’all i need heels

- i can’t even explain how good and better food is there. The quality. The diversity. (Though i hope you like paprika)

- the döner and curry wursts are the unsung heroes

- on night two there were no barricades so we were right at the feet of the bands which was… interesting to say the least.

- thats when stefan said he and dan liked my pictures and i basically melt on my bed.

- me: these are candies from Canada for EVERYONE. Roberto, the merch dude: oh, Daniel will love this.

- @chaotic-gingey and I didn’t vibe in Berlin so we drove to Hamburg with the idea of visiting and maybe attend the show

- spoiler we did 🙄

- we stayed by the sound booth as we were tired and hot and basically… forgot to eat that day. Bad idea. The place got so hot i was sure I’d faint. Front row were troopers!

- @chaotic-gingey and I ‘awwwwwing’ when we saw that Bollo’s screen background was the Tekkno tour picture with the guys and their team

- Two German dudes tried to invite us to a party or a bar and wouldn’t take no for an answer and tbh it was just hilarious as they were not threatening. They even asked for a picture with us when they left 😂

- we met the guys again🥰 Stefan’s hugs > any hugs. Better than Kevin’s hugs. I don’t know. It’s just, pretty sure he cracked my back. He thanked us again a million times for coming.

- roberto gave us flame glasses and it was hilarious and its one of my favorite things

- me: did you like the Canadian candies? Dan: ohYES. I haven’t finished them but im working on it.

- the entirety of State fall guys being the sweetest bunch❤️

- we went to eat at the döner place after the show

- @chaotic-gingey : wouldnt it be funny if Bollo or any of the guys were to come in hahaha

- narrator: Bollo did come to the döner place to get some food, much to her shock.

- i fell on the ice And couldnt stop laughing

- we drove back to Berlin and with less than two hours of sleep we made our way to the airport

-now im writting this to you and I’m sad

-lets all move to Germany

[the-emeralds-incorrect]

Barty Crouch Jr — name & origins

In spite of what one might believe, Barty Crouch Jr did not really hate his name.

His relationship with his father, Bartemius Crouch Sr, had never been good in any capacity. He never was deluded into thinking his father loved him. During his formative years, at first he tried to get his father to at least like him, but he gave up on that around his eight birthday.

Bartemius Crouch Sr had never seen Barty as anything more than an extension of himself. A legacy, a heir, his flesh and blood.

From what Barty has heard from his mama’s stories, his father’s reaction to her pregnancy had been relatively pleased. The problems started after his birth — after it became clear children need care, love. He also knew about her insistency on taking care of him by herself, of becoming a stay-at-home mom had been home of her last acts of resistance, of protecting him from his father’s treatment. An offer she extended upon finding a few weeks old Barty, Imperioused not to cry and hungry after a few hours she slept through, hours in which his father was supposed to watch him.

An extension of himself, in perhaps his most glaring display of egoism Bartemius Crouch Sr gifted his own name to.

All of which should reasonably, given Barty’s character, result in him absolutely despising the name. That was not fully the case.

He wasn’t sure why that was. Maybe it was because there was always a disconnect between ‘Bartemius’ — the father, and ‘Barty’ — the son. Barty couldn’t stand to be referred by his full name; all of his friends were familiar with his plan to legally change it to the shortened version when he turns seventeen.

Maybe it related to the way his mama’s voice, soft and gentle, well known and bringing a sense of security he could never find anywhere else, called out for him. The moments in which she looked beautiful and happy, out of the house, out of the country when they visited her family, babcię i dziadka, where they called him ‘Bartek’ and they could walk down the streets of Poland, so different than London, the city where he grew up.

Wizarding Poland was a complete mess. With the muggle wars, Nazis and currently reigning Soviets with their communism, the Iron Curtain breaking Europe into two, the population was not having a great time. Wizards had it better than muggles — the government rules allowed for Portkeys to be more available, and many were able to protect themselves from the bombings using spells and wards. Nonetheless, it didn’t erase the poverty. Barty remembered the shock the first time when he walked into a store with mama, and there was nothing on the shelves.

Wizards in Poland lived much closer with the muggles, he came to realize. They had an equivalent of the Statue of Secrecy, obviously, but the circumstances brought them together, in contrast to the separated state England unknowingly lived in. Wizarding Poland could never be nearly as removed from Muggle Poland, because Polish people were trying to simply survive and preserve their identity through over a century of their country being erased from the maps and the country being divided between Germany, Russia and Austria.

Wizards adapted to survive. Pure bloods overcame their prejudice to keep their history. The fight for freedom wasn’t over, but Barty knew they would never return to Britain’s levels of separation.

(Both of the sides of his family were Light, but Bartemius Crouch Sr could never deign himself to think about muggles as equals. It was reflected in the way he talked about them. Never with outright discrimination, but instead perpetuating the stereotypes and disrespect towards them. )

Barty loved it. It was the home London never was, with the Ministry of Magic so close, with the house he grew up in always at the back of his mind whenever he was walking the streets. He was sad every time they had to go back.

Barty loved his name, too. Not Bartemius, not Crouch (Jr). But just ‘Barty’. ‘Bartek’. He might’ve liked having his mother’s last name, too, but now, there’s no sense in changing it.

(He’ll be taking his husband’s one, after all.)

[kojandra]

Idk how they're supposed to communicate and rebuild their relationship when one of them has diminished mental capacity? I'm so confused is HI acting like this part of her character development where she'll realize she was just as responsible for the mess of their marriage as he is or is the writer actually acting like the entire thing is on HW? bc why is she acting like she was an amazing wife and he just betrayed her rather than she treated him awfully and let her family do the same. He's always the one reaching out and apologizing and I'm starting to think this is the way it's gonna be for the entire show

From how I interpret the plot right now, Hae In will go through cycles in her "present-ness". She will forget recent memories and be as innocent as she was before she got angry about recent events then discover the current state of her life (divorce, betrayal, etc.) and do it all over again. I definitely think there will be events that open them up to each other whether it's when she's aware of current events (angry) or forgetful of those (gentle). Hyun Woo will be suffering continuously because he has to watch his wife get hurt in cycles whereas she will only be hurt when she rediscovers the betrayal from him (in cycles).

I can defend each character to a certain extent. For Hae In, she thinks she was a good wife mainly because (I mean, look at the way her family is...) of the way she was brought up. To be cold, calculating, cut-your-losses type business woman. But she wasn't always like this! She used to care openly and be warm towards Hyun Woo. We used to be a society!! Hae In was trying to deal with her loss of the child by moving things out because she didn't want to be reminded of them. (I seriously think they should have talked at this point). But then Hyun Woo, I assume wanted to keep the things while he mourned, was the one who instructed the housekeepers to move his things out of the master bedroom without explaining anything to Hae In. She thought he needed space to mourn and that he will come back when he's done. She always waited for him to come home, and she always stood on the other side of the door. He didn't know she'd welcome him in, but she always wanted to. (again, this couple.....does not know how to talk to each other...). She also defended him from Soo Cheol in episode 1 ("don't disrespect my husband ever again") so I feel like she was doing that all this time.

The cyclic nature of her memories will trigger something in Hyun Woo to initiate change (I hope!) to address this. I hope her memories of her "present" state will carry over into her next cycle of presentness so that she will be kinda living in two timelines. I know and believe Hyun Woo will find a way to talk to his wife in rationality. And more so, taking care of and finding those windows of rationality of your feisty wife who is also a patient is not easy. They are both trying their best.

I do have a theory that Hae In is getting poisoned at her home because when have we ever seen Hae In hallucinating in Germany??? (That semi truck scene does NOT count because she was out of it from all the shock and wanting to die because she has nothing to live for anymore). And wtf is a cloud cytoma???? (I tried looking for it online and it's a made up disease....the plot can literally go anywhere and I'm terrified!)

I feel like Hyun Woo definitely wears his heart on his sleeve more than Hae In, which is where we see their differences in their approach to reconciliation (in the present, at least). But as seen in episode 7, Hae In can show emotions too! In her state of forgetfulness of recent events, she said "I love you" to him the first time (that we've seen). And talked to him a lot more openly than we've seen before. Hae In definitely realizes she’s the problem too. In the epilogue scene for episode 7 she says “no wonder he married me when I said I’d make him happy.” Then her FACE after…yeah I definitely think she knows.

I believe this drama will be the journey to finding that communication and love and trust between the two (while dealing with all the shit in the world).

I hope we get a full arc for these characters! They're so complex with lots of push and pull and deserve some good angst and development.

(but please....let them be happy in the end).....

[adarkrainbow]

Here is the second part of my thoughts about why Disney’s Snow-White live-action doesn’t work - in this post I will talk of why Snow-White being played by a non-white actress doesn’t work, and why you can say it is not a good casting without being racist.

The whole idea that “any character can be played by anyone” is actually a lie spread by the most extreme (or stupid) part of the bad “woke movement”. Because the truth is that having any actor play any character can lead to extremely negative things that are more expected from a racist and prejudiced society than anything else. ESPECIALLY when it comes to characters of folklore! Take Anansi for example: you can’t have him played by a white actor. He is a character that can only be played by a black one. And what happens if you throw a white actor playing Anansi? You either do white-washing or black-face. Both cases being wrong.

And despite what people tell you, having the reverse, black characters play white-only characters, can happen and can cause problems! We already saw this happen with historical characters, like Cleopatra in the Netflix documentary (though the parallel isn’t perfect because the original Cleopatra wasn’t a white European). But Snow-White isn’t a historical character you will say - true! But she is definitively a “white” character that cannot be non-white.

This is the difference between a character such as Snow-White, and other “fairytale princesses” like Rapunzel or Cinderella. Adaptations of Rapunzel or Cinderella with actresses of color in the title role exists, work and function very well - because their characters are not defined by their skin color. But Snow-White? You’re trapped because she is defined by her skin color, it is in her very name. To have an actress with a skin not “white as snow” playing Snow-White is bound to call upon you mockery and criticism when you are blind to the narrative itself. The same thing happened to other movies that tried to have blond actresses play Snow-White (or animations that had blond Snow-White), they were also called out for the absurdity of keeping in the story a “child with hair as black as ebony” and then throwing a blond actress. 

If someone REALLY wants to have a non-white actress play Snow-White, while keeping the original name, the best solution would be to change another feature of their body so the color and name would make sense. For example: make the hair as white as snow! Then she can be called Snow-White! But if you have a character who isn’t “white” in any way... why is she called Snow-White? Better take one of the HUNDRED variations of the story across continents where the character isn’t called by a very “white” name. Snow-White is one of those characters that belongs to the culture it comes from (19th century Germany) and that was shaped and created out of an outdated beauty standard (the old-time European beauty standard where light-skin and fair-skin and white-skin is beautiful, and the darker a skin gets the uglier the character is - which was the unfortunate standard of most traditional fairytales, from the German of the Grimm to the Italians of Basile passing by the French of d’Aulnoy). 

Now... All I said above is ONE reason why I will invoke “woke bullshit” on Disney’s live action (alongside the whole “dwarf” situation). But now let’s talk of another thing - of the harmful connotations and consequences of having an actress of Colombian (? I hope I am right I haven’t checked) descent play Snow-White, the “fairest girl in all the land”, the “most beautiful woman” of the country with a skin as “white-as-snow”. One word: colorism.

If you never heard about it, colorism was a system part of the whole slavery, racism and segregation era, and that was very prevalent and developed by the United-States during their worst historical era. It is the implanted belief that, when it comes to a non-white person, the “lighter” and “fairer” their skin color is, the better or the more valuable they are, as opposed to those who have a “darker” or “blacker” skin color. It was the habit of treating much better black people with a lighter skin tone, more in the “coffee” or “caramel” tones, and considering lesser the black people with a darker skin tone, the “ink” or “charcoal” ones, to reuse some of the comparisons from back then. It was a thing that was implanted for centuries, and that is stll denounced today and has done a lot of damage for the Afro-American community. 

Now let’s piece things together... An American movie and production from an American company, that takes a character renowned for her skin “white as snow” and who is called the “fairest in all the land” and heralded as the most beautiful - and who is played by a “lighter skinned” actress of color? You can very easily read colorism-hidden-as-progressiveness in there. I don’t know if they were the actual original intentions of the movie makers, I hope they are not, but it is an accidental consequence and negative result of this casting decision.