#when did what the author says become the be all end all of interpretation

[mushiemadarame]

i wouldn't usually engage with something like this but my two cents about the whole Arcane head honcho saying this and that about certain characters is that i didn't even know who he was until two days ago so why would i ever let his vision affect my own interpretation of the story

we come from two completely different backgrounds, he will never see things with my eyes, he will never be able to extrapolate a meaning that he didn't even know could be there when he was writing it down

please let's all relearn to take stories for ourselves, original authors have minimal power over how their stories live on in those who experience them

[ficandkaboodle]

Analyses of Most Ghost Characters be like…

Terzo was a tragic and extremely deep figure who, based off observations provided by his ghouls and Bishop Necropolitis, was a brilliant mind whose ideas were bastardized and squandered, which resulted in a disappointed and bitter husk of a man who still made an effort to display kindness. However, we will likely never truly know the full story of who he was because he lied so damn often.

Most of how we perceive Secondo is arguably the result of Sister badmouthing him as well as ghouls being brutally candid about how he acted in interviews. However, there’s reason to believe Secondo might’ve been just as multifaceted as Terzo, in that he wasn’t being his complete self to the audience. There’s evidence that could suggest Secondo did not enjoy being Papa in its entirety so much as the perks, which were ironically also hindered by him being Papa at the end of the day. It’s not hard to interpret him as someone who might not have enjoyed being a part of the bloodline at the end of the day because of what it meant he had to sacrifice.

Copia is a manchild, likely as a result of how he grew up: Orphaned, likely a social outcast, very likely undiagnosed. As a result, he might’ve become convinced that the only way to rise above it was to become someone worthy of adoration: Papa. But even after he ascended, his troubles didn’t stop: He had to learn his parentage, didn’t address the fact that his brothers were now dead, and spent the last few months he had with the woman he now knew was his mother dissociating because he developed a fear of death. This fear, mind you, that easily ties back into the theorized likelihood that he placed his self-worth into his success. And this is before getting into his willingness to be a puppet —

Papa Nihil’s complexities come in the form of his tendencies to escape reality and the consequences these brought. He was very likely an absent father, which would have had effects on his sons (say, attention-seeking tendencies; a distrust in authority; abandonment issues). In fact, the only things he seems to seek from his youth is his extremely short-lived music career and his unstable relationship with a woman who ultimately kept quiet about their son(s) they conceived together and ultimately played his lust and delusions against him to play nepotism. And by leaning into this, he got his own children killed. He only “became a father” after he died, and it’s sad that he actually seems his most lucid then. What’s all the more mind-boggling and makes you wonder about his tenure is his ability to be in the moment and try and convince Cardi to learn to do the same. It makes you curious: Was Nihil actually a good Papa when he wasn’t distracted?

Sister Imperator is willfully emotionally constipated and will justify it as being “for the good of the church”. She has definitely been affected by her decisions and what she’s done, from her relationship with Nihil to her giving up her babies and watching them at a distance, only interacting from a work standpoint. She lies, keeps secrets, has people killed off, all to tie her spawn into the position as Papa, which is curious considering her position means she’s already above the station of Papa. She does care about Cardi, but she doesn’t care for him the way he needs to be and, as a result, arguably only exacerbates his anxious tendencies. She’s an extremely interesting character but it’s so easy to water her down to just being manipulative and evil.

………………

Analyses of Primo —

Primo is fucking crazy man I don’t — Like, he might be a serial killer; he would punch a panda for profit; we aren’t even entirely certain he’s human like I would legit headcanon that Primo is a changeling and the fandom would run with it because what choice do we have, he honestly actually could be!!!

[funishment-time]

🔵 Kodaka BlueSky Q&As: Female DR Characters (Specific)

⚠️ DISCLAIMER: Please be advised! Translations of all Japanese answers derive from a combination of Google Translate and my manager's three-quarters-remembered Japanese. We've tried our best to work out what he's saying, but there will be mistakes here and there. Do not take this as gospel!

To avoid spreading (too much) misinfo, where we're completely boggled about an answer, we've decided not to even make an attempt. We'll still list the post, but mark it accordingly.

➡️ AN IMPORTANT NOTE FROM KODAKA BEFORE READING:

First of all, the questions answered here are not official. Everything that is official is what is said within the work. In contrast, this is simply what Kodaka, the creator, thinks, and it is not the correct answer. Use this as a starting point to enjoy the depth of each character, or to say, "That's not right!" and enjoy it with your own interpretation. I think of this as a way of communicating with the characters who live in fiction. This is important, so please spread the word.

💕 FEBRUARY 2024:

Q: I apologize if this has already been discussed somewhere, but I would love to hear about the reasons and episodes behind choosing Kitayama Takekuni as the author of the novel "Danganronpa Kirigiri."

A: I like Kitayama's novels. They are mysteries, but I felt there was something in common between them [DR & Kitayama's work] in the writing and dialogue.

/////

Q: In her report card, it was stated that SDR2's Nanami Chiaki has a father and brother who are programmers, but does this only apply to SDR2's Nanami and is she separate from Despair Arc's Nanami? In the reference book, there is no data about Nanami's alma mater, but is there a possibility that information such as the alma mater of Despair Arc's Nanami will be released in some form in the future?

A: That's right. It applies to only SDR2 Nanami. I wonder if there will be any information released about Despair Arc Nanami...

/////

Q: Excuse me for asking a question!! I think games are essential to Nanami, so I wonder how she would react if they were confiscated!

A: I guess she'd end up looking like Gudetama.

NOTE: The adorable Sanrio depressed egg guy.

/////

Q: Mr. Kodaka, do you have any comments about Kitayama Takekuni's "Danganronpa Kirigiri"?

A: Before the series began, I had consulted with them about the overall structure and points of reference, but after the series began, I felt like I was mostly enjoying it as a reader.

/////

Q: Excuse me for my second question. I would like to know the reason why Kirigiri Kyoko has her braids undone on one side in the timeline of the anime "Danganronpa 3: The End of Hope's Peak Academy Future Arc" and the manga "Danganronpa Gaiden Killer Killer" and if there is any background reason for this...

A: I've not heard why, in part because it was left up to Komatsuzaki-kun. I thought on my own that it was because she had become an adult.

NOTE: Komatsuzaki is the guy behind Danganronpa's art.

/////

Q: Excuse me for the second question! Yumeno-chan was called a "shishamo roe" by Iruma and a "grilled horse mackerel" by Ouma, but what does she think about those metaphors?

A: "Huh?"

NOTE: A shishamo is a type of fish. Also, he's answering as Himiko, if it wasn't clear.

/////

Q: Why do we not get any undisguised Mukuro sprites in Danganronpa S?

A: I had absolutely no involvement with Danganronpa S.

NOTE: You'll see him reference this a few times too. He didn't do Summer Camp at all!

/////

Q: Why did you decide to become a maid, Tojo-san?

A: I think that because she could do anything, she felt it was boring to use her power for herself and felt more comfortable serving others, and that is why she was so selfless.

/////

Q: If the characters in Danganronpa were 16.7 years old in 2010, they would be 30 years old in 2024 if they were still alive. What do you think they would have been like when they turned 30 if they had lived a normal life? I don't need to know everyone, but I'd like to hear it.

A: At the very least, Fukawa is dead.

NOTE: It's true, but he shouldn't say it.

🍀 MARCH 2024:

Q: In the profile of Genocider Syo from Ultra Despair Girls, she lists "girls that aren't moe" as something she dislikes, but since she has deliberately stated "aren't moe", does that mean that "girls that are moe" exist in Genocider Syo's opinion?

A: "I think it's either 'not moe' or 'other.' I don't do moe."

NOTE: Answering as Syojack, it seems.

/////

Q: Does Yumeno-chan ever wear casual clothes? If so, does she wear a wizard's hat?

A: "A robe like a dark mage's is my personal attire. I don't go out on windy days because it all flips up."

/////

Q: when you wrote the ending to Danganronpa Another Episode, were you expecting to use Monaca more or was her arc always going to end the way it did in Danganronpa 3?

A: In truth, Monaka's story ended with just another episode. However, we wanted to have as many characters in Danganronpa 3 as possible, so we decided to add her to the anime.

/////

Q: Does Harukawa-san eat sweet things?

A: She used to lick rock candy on the job to replenish her energy.

/////

Q: What would happen if I confessed to Mioda Ibuki?

A: She sometimes responds with songs, but she usually doesn't know how to answer.

/////

Q: I believe the character of Fukawa Toko (Genocider Syo) is originally based on the protagonist of Clock Tower GH, but are Genocider Syo's murder weapon and motive for murder also based on Tono Masayuki's mystery novel "Scissors Man"?

A: Neither of them are right...! I imagined Genocider as a monster like the ones in Ushio & Tora.

NOTE: Clock Tower GH is a video game known as Clock Tower 2 in the US. It's a point and click survival horror. Ushio & Tora is a supernatural/dark fantasy manga from the early 90s.

/////

Q: Does Fujisaki have a favorite food?

A: Mini katsudon.

NOTE: Katsudon is a pork cutlet bowl.

/////

Q: What kind of clothes does Fujisaki Chihiro like to wear (or usually wear)?

A: Unisex jeans.

NOTE: It's not exactly a question so I won't list it here, but a Chihiro fan responded with excitement, at which Kodaka replied "100 points for your reaction."

/////

Q: Excuse me for asking a question! In Ultra Despair Girls, Fujisaki Taichi had a photo of Fujisaki [Chihiro] in a sailor uniform, looking like they were in their rebellious phase (?)! It's so cute! I'd really like to know how the photo was taken and if there are any untold details about the Fujisaki family!

A: No matter what Fujisaki [Chihiro] is, their father can't help but take pictures because they are a cute kid, but Fujisaki [Chihiro] themself is embarrassed, and since those around them are becoming more and more rebellious, they are acting a little like a rebel, but later they will probably feel sorry for their father and be depressed.

/////

Q: Why is Enoshima Junko so cute? What's her favorite food?

A: "I think it's because I live life the way I want to. I get bored easily, so my favorite things change every day."

🥬 APRIL 2024:

Q: I think Celes' dream is to live in a Western castle surrounded by handsome men, but if she had to choose one of the handsome men from Danganronpa, who would she choose? From watching Celes' fantasy scenes, it seemed like she only had a limited number of handsome men, so it's possible that there isn't a type among the characters that appear, but if there is, please let me know.

A: Probably none of them are in that category. I think she wants to create a world like Interview With Vampire.

/////

Q: Yumeno-chan, what type of handsome guy do you like?

A: Something like a pop star.

NOTE: My manager says another great translation would be "trendy bastards." Kodaka loves his fictional daughters...

/////

Q: Why does Fukawa Toko hate taking baths?

A: It's a hassle because you have to put the clothes on after you take them off, and you have to dry them after they get wet.

/////

Q: Today is Asahina-san's birthday. What would you give her that would make her happy? I'm sure she's been getting lots of donuts from everyone, so I'd like to give her a unique present that will leave a lasting impression!

A: "Shoes for my younger brother!"

🌺 MAY 2024:

Q: Did Enoshima clean up the victims' bodies and rooms?

A: I think she used technology to that extent, though Enoshima, impatiently cleaning up the mess, also looked hopelessly cumbersome and hopelessly kawaii.

/////

Q: Why does Yumeno-chan hate the ocean?

A: Because it's big.

/////

Q: Excuse me for asking a question! Is the story about the school festival in the Danganronpa original drama CD written by Kodaka-san? There is a scene in the drama where Fujisaki wants to wear a cute apron, which was quite unexpected for Fujisaki in the main story, so it was a shock. Was there a possibility that Fujisaki would embrace cute things in the main story as well?

A: I think I only wrote the very first one. The one that has a white and black disc. If I remember correctly.

/////

Q: Excuse me for asking a question! I think that in the articles(?) released during the development stage there were many scenes that were not in the main story. Were these scenes faked to hide the contents of the main story, or were they actually there during production? I'm curious if there were any scenes where Fujisaki-kun was suspected in court!

[This person included this image:]

A: This is an image made up for a proposal. It was made before the story even existed.

/////

Q: What do you think is Kyoko Kirigiri's favorite type?

A: Just look at Danganronpa!

/////

Q: Iruma Miu's favorite thing is "programs for young children," but what kind of programs for young children does she like? Programs where you can sing and dance along, educational programs, or maybe anime programs for young children...

A: "I sing along when the host sings, and I work with her when she's doing crafts. Other than that I just watch while swearing."

/////

Q: Can you cook, Kirigiri-san?

A: "I want to cook but I need to wear gloves and that's where I'm stuck. I really want to cook." In response to all this, that guy…(oops, no more on that)

/////

Q: Excuse me for asking a question! (Sorry for asking so many times lol 💦) In DR2, Nanami Chiaki said, "I have a father and brother who are programmers," and I interpreted this as Fujisaki Chihiro and Fujisaki Alter Ego but are they actually different people (because they were created by the program left behind by Fujisaki?)? She also said other things that reminded me of Fujisaki, so I've been wondering about this for a long time!!! I look forward to your answer!!!

A: I am pretty sure that was the impression I had at the time.

☀️ JUNE 2024:

Q: Celes, I believe you usually wear gothic lolita clothes, but do you ever wear sweet lolita, hime lolita or other types of lolita clothes?

A: "I just tried them on and threw them away."

/////

Q: Does anyone in the Danganronpa series get headaches?

A: Fukawa.

🎇 JULY 2024:

Q: Is Nanami-chan popular with the guys?

A: I think a lot of guys like her.

/////

Q: What content does Tsumugi Shirogane like more? Yaoi content or Yuri?

A: "I like all of them, so I change my taste depending on the season."

/////

Q: What were Junko and Mukuro's parents like?

A: They were an ordinary couple and a normal family, but their ordinariness had made Enoshima Junko despair from the moment she was born.

/////

Q: I'd like to hear more specifically about Maki Harukawa's usual diet!

A: Rations.

🌭 AUG 2024:

Q: I would like to know about Mioda's family relationships. I wonder if she often plays alone because she didn't have a good relationship with her parents.

A: It is possible that the whole family is like that.

/////

Q: If there was a punishment for Iruma Miu, what do you think it would be? She has a bad mouth, but I think she's a good girl at heart and I love her, so I want her to be happy.

A: You can't be as happy as a good child. It's so unfair lol

🍁 SEPT 2024:

Q: Do you have any favorite games, Owari-chan?

A: Any where I don’t have to use my head.

/////

Q: What is your best magic, Yumeno-san?

A: Self-hypnosis magic

/////

Q: Did Kirigiri cry as a child the first time she went on detective work with her grandfather (a murder detective would see a body)?

A: Kirigiri has never cried over a dead body.

/////

Q: If there was a motivation video in Danganronpa 2, what would Nanami's video look like?

A: 4K video of the Despair Arc of the anime, in which Nanami Chiaki, the model for the character, dies.

/////

Q: What would Chiaki Nanami do when she's in a desperate situation? Will she become a million-man murderer?

A: No.

[whatsnewalycat]

mindfuck

Dave York x f!Reader

Summary: Dave hypnotizes you.

Rating: Explicit (18+ only)

Word Count: 2.8k+

Warnings: hypnokink, not entirely good praxis of hypnosis, humiliation, implied infidelity, praise, smut, unprotected piv, D/s dynamic, dom dave, literal mind fucking so like a bit of body horror get into it

Notes: For @iamasaddie kinky May writing challenge. Prompt was hypnosis + Dave York. I found a lot of inspiration for this from a post in r/EroticHypnosis about mindfucking (can find again if anyone wants the link - lemme know!). Posting this in a hurry bc I am late to a thing so hopefully not tooooo many missed mistakes. OK THANK YOU FOR READING!!!

[ my masterlist ]

-------

All your life you wished you could turn off your thoughts at will. 

Growing up, on those nights where your crowded head wouldn’t let you sleep, you would imagine twisting off the top of your skull like a jar lid and plopping your brain on the nightstand. It even worked sometimes, too, if you tried hard to convince yourself. When reminders of an upcoming math test or images of that cute boy in class crept into your purview, they had nowhere to go. They evaporated, and you slept. 

Dave says you’re too smart for your own good. Sometimes when you’re lost in thought, he tells you he wants to empty that pretty little head of yours. Not in a condescending way, although you can see how someone might interpret it like that. 

What he means is that he wants you to be with him when you’re with him. What he means is that he wants you to be present. Not thinking about the past or the future. Not reminding yourself of deadlines or analyzing the data stored in your brain or wondering what you mean to him exactly. 

The first time he suggested hypnosis, you balked. Even after he explained how it worked, you were hesitant enough for him to drop the subject. 

When he brought it up again, though, your skepticism swayed. You asked him for more details, so he dispensed the pros and cons and the step process. He could do it for you, he said. He knew how. He said he could rattle the bees from your buzzing honeycomb brain. All you had to do was trust him with this power. 

So you did. 

And you do. 

Your valiant beekeeper meets you at this hotel every other Tuesday night, except on holidays. This isn’t the only one-on-one time he dedicates to you, but it’s by far the most reliable. He doesn’t always hypnotize you, either. 

Regardless of whether he puts you in a trance or not, this standing date always starts the same. He slips you the keycard at some point throughout the day, only after he’s adorned it with a vase full of seasonal blooms and laid out something for you to wear. 

Tonight he left you lilacs and matching lingerie. Intricate floral appliqués embellish the pastel nightie he laid out on the bed. 

Opulence becomes you when you slip it on and pour a glass of champagne from the bottle Dave left to chill on ice. You mosey around the spacious high-end suite, sipping frosty bubbles as you admire the birds-eye view of downtown, the tall buildings and bustling city life all drenched in golden light from the setting sun. 

As the time nears eight o’clock, you empty your champagne flute and make yourself comfortable on the plush bed. Crystals hanging from the chandelier fragment soft white light into dazzling tiny spectrums, sparkling rainbow when the door to the suite opens, then closes. 

Dave enters the room with an air of authority that makes you straighten your spine and draw back your shoulders. After chucking off his jacket, he empties his pockets on the dresser and loosens his tie, then turns around to meet your gaze. 

His stern expression melts as he looks you over, seeming to appraise how your body fills out the lilac nightie. Heat sparks in the middle of you when he greets you, “Hey beautiful.” 

“Hi.” 

He approaches your side and takes a seat at the edge of the bed, rolling the sleeves of his dress shirt, “Comfortable?” 

Nodding, you sit up to pull him in for a kiss. His plush lips respond without hesitation, firm but generous as he slips a wide palm around your body and brings you even closer. 

When he pulls back, he asks, “Are you ready?” 

“Ready.” 

He cradles your jaw, searching your face with blatant admiration before separating his body from yours. You lay back into the soft embrace of the pillows and wiggle around until you find the sweet spot of comfort while Dave drags an armchair to your bedside and sits down. Once you’re both settled and still, he begins. 

“Close your eyes.” 

You close them. 

“Take a deep breath in…”

You take in air until you can’t. 

“…and slowly release it.” 

You exhale, rationing your metered breath through a straw-sized ‘o’ formed by your lips. 

“Good. Take a deep breath in… two three four… and slowly release it. Deep breath in… two three four… now slowly release it.”

Behind closed lids, you concentrate on the rhythmic ebb and flow of your lungs contracting and expanding. His warm voice surrounds you. Envelops you. 

“That’s it. Keep breathing just like this. Each time you inhale, draw the life from your breath, and exhale the rest. Notice how cleansing it feels to let it go. How the tension melts from your muscles every time you take a deep breath in…”

You inhale. 

“…two three four…” 

Hold it. 

“…and slowly release it.” 

Then exhale.

“Perfect. Keep doing that. Now imagine that every time you take a deep breath in, a warm wave washes over you… and as you slowly release it, the tide carries away tension, allowing your muscles to soften and relax…”

Each big lungful heats the tar holding your body together. You dissolve into the mattress as Dave’s deep, honeyed voice resonates through you. 

“Again, take a deep breath in as the warm wave of relaxation washes over you, two three four… and slowly release it as the tide carries away your tension, allowing your muscles to soften and relax. Concentrate on my voice. Recognize it as a touchstone. If your mind starts to wander, have it return to the touchstone, return to my voice, and relax even deeper.” 

Trees tower above you, stretching high into the pale blue sky. The moss-covered rock before you glows as he speaks. 

“Notice how relaxed you feel. Notice that every time the warm wave of relaxation washes over you, two three four… tension melts from your body as you allow yourself to sink deeper and deeper into the sensation. Allow the relaxation to seep from your muscles into your bloodstream… to course through your veins and calm every cell in your body.

“Focus on your face. All those tiny little muscles in your forehead and around your eyes, notice how relaxed they are. Notice how the relaxation melts the muscles in your cheeks and jaw, letting your mouth go slack. You might feel as though you want to speak, but find yourself so relaxed that you can’t. That’s ok, because it feels good and safe to let the words dissolve on your tongue. Doesn’t it?” 

When you try to respond, your lips don’t move. This fact doesn’t bother you. It feels good and safe in the forest, staring up at the treetops. 

You realize you’re floating in a pond. You hear birds peacefully chirping and know it’s just you and them and the touchstone for a million miles. 

Everything feels profound, but simple. You are small and big like a speck of dust or a galaxy. You are safe. You are at peace. 

“Doesn’t it feel so good to relax, darling?” 

Your fingertips rest against the soft moss of the touchstone. 

“Yes, it does,” you tell it. 

It glows with a satisfactory hum that vibrates through you.  

“Perfect. Continue to focus on my voice. Soon, I will ask you to open your eyes, then close them. When you close your eyes, you’ll notice a warm wave of relaxation washing over you, turning knots into snarls and snarls into strands, every muscle in your body gently untangling as you allow them to go limp and heavy…”

You understand and follow his instructions. 

“Open your eyes and take a deep breath in, two three four… and slowly release it, closing your eyes, letting the warm wave wash over you and pull you in deeper. 

“Soon, I’ll ask you to open your eyes again. When you close them, you’ll notice the warm wave of relaxation wash over you even stronger than before, pulling you even deeper. 

“Open your eyes, two three four… and close your eyes, sinking deeper and deeper. Good job. We’ll do it one more time, and when you close your eyes and relax, sink as deep as you can, all the way to the bottom. Open your eyes, two three four… and close your eyes.” 

You’re lying in a meadow of wildflowers outside the forest, looking up at the serene blue sky. The earth beneath you is solid and brings you an immense sense of comfort. 

“I want you to think about desire. Think about that warm, lush longing inside you. Concentrate on how good this sensation feels in your body, pleasure swelling thick at the center of you.”

His voice surrounds you, but you don’t see its source. The soothing timbre resonates from the wildflowers and the earth and the sky, from everywhere and nowhere all at once like how you imagine God sounded to Old Testament prophets. 

You bring your focus to desire. It does feel good. Amazing, actually. Tangible like a glowing ball of heat between your thighs that throbs with each syllable he speaks. 

“Allow the sensation to grow. Let it stretch and pulse and heat your skin. Let your mind empty of everything except this arousal. When thoughts arise, you let them fall away and arousal fills the empty space. You’ll let this happen over and over again until your head is empty of everything but arousal. Do you understand? You can speak now, darling, go ahead and answer.” 

“Yes.” 

“Try it for me.” 

You acknowledge the cognitions that populate your mind. When you think about how you need to put gas in your car, you imagine the reminder dropping away, then imagine the warm wanting glow of desire branching up through your body to take its place. You think about a work project, but it loosens and falls into an abyss. Desire floods the space in its wake, a thick hot liquid that glows with light like lava, spreading to each new vacancy with ease as the thoughts drop from your consciousness. 

“How does it feel?” 

“Good,” you breathe, voice faint on your tingling tongue. 

“Do you like how it feels, being horny and mindless?” 

Your husband’s face appears, taking up your whole mind, then falls away. Rich, bubbling pleasure surges through you to fill the gap. You have to suppress a moan to respond. 

“I like it,” you nod, “Fuck, it feels amazing.” 

“Good girl. Now, you might notice something interesting happen when I ask you a question. You might notice that when I ask you a question, you’ll try to form a thought to answer. When you do this, you’ll feel my cock enter your mind. It’s bigger and harder than you’ve ever seen it, swollen and thick and so fucking ready for you, darling. When you try to form a thought, it pushes forward into the wet hot folds of your brain, severing the connections that typically allow you to think, preventing a response from forming. My cock pulls out, and slowly thrusts forward again, pushing out the thoughts, over and over for as long as you consider a response to my question. It becomes impossible to focus. You might notice that this penetration feels like it would in your pussy. My hard cock rutting in and out, sending waves of arousal through your body, fucking the thoughts from your head. Every time my cock moves, you’ll try to respond but cannot make yourself focus. It feels amazing. You give in to the sensation, allowing it to overtake you completely. When you’re fully saturated with arousal and nothing else, my cock pulls out of your mind.” 

Your skin feels static and warm when you imagine him pushing his smooth, throbbing length into your brain. A shaky whimper croaks in your throat. Your heart thuds heavy within your chest, circulating desire, warm and wet, to every cell in your body. 

“You might notice that when I ask you another question, any attempts at thought or sensations that come up except arousal will be fucked from your head until you surrender to the arousal. It feels good to be dominated in this way. To let pleasure consume your entire being.” 

Licking your lips, you nod to show you understand.  

“Now when I ask you a question, you’ll allow your subconscious to follow my instructions. Are you ready, darling?” 

“Yes.” 

“How was your day?” 

When you try to recall your day and formulate an answer, the tip of his cock pierces the equator of your brain, splitting the hemispheres. He drives forward slowly, steadily, making you moan as he stretches you apart and tears all those delicate tissues that generate thought. Still, you try. 

My day, how was my day…

He drags his cock out, then drives it deeper inside you. 

Day… how was…

Your nerve endings buzz as he pulls out, gooey arousal shines on the shaft of his thick cock. He plunges forward into the hot center of you. You work your hips and whine. You can’t remember what he asked. It doesn’t seem as important as the pleasure clinging to your insides as he fucks you, so you give up. 

His cock pulls out of your mind completely. 

“What’s the weather supposed to be like tomorrow?” 

You consider the question. The tip of him breaches your brain, forcing out forecasts and clouds and sunshine. Fragments return as you attempt to answer again. 

The weather tomorrow…

He pumps in and out of you, obliterating whatever it was he wanted to know. It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters except the insatiable pleasure thrumming through you as he rubs against all your hungry nerves, giving them what they want. 

“Oh my god,” you hear yourself gasp. 

“How often do you think about fucking me?” 

Seeds of embarrassment sprout the tender beginnings of thought, then he fucks them out of your head until you’re rolling your hips, moaning and nodding for more. 

“Do you make yourself come when you think about fucking me?” 

Only a loading screen appears before he’s inside you again. His perfect, thick cock pumps you full of this throbbing heat. You wish it would never end. You want to feel this and only this forever. 

“That’s it, that’s my good girl. So horny and mindless for me. Letting my cock push deep and hard into the folds of your brain, fucking out all your thoughts, leaving your head empty to stuff you with arousal until you’re swollen and ripe, nothing else left but how fucking horny you are.” 

“Sssooooo fucking gooood,” you slur. 

“How would your husband feel if he saw you like this? In this hotel room, all dressed up in lingerie I bought for you, moaning and writhing on the bed?” 

A thought starts, and he pounds it out of you, merciless in its rhythm as each thrust pushes you higher and higher. Horny and mindless, that’s all you are. Nothing matters except this.

“Do you really think we’ll run away together? Do you really think I’d leave my wife for you?” 

A rotten sensation tingles in your chest before you feel him enter you from both ends, the cock in your mind working in tandem with the cock in your pussy. You choke out a moan and nod, body vibrating with a thick, hot sensation you can’t find the beginning or end of. 

“Fuck fuck fuck, holy fuck—” 

He groans, rolling his hips faster, fucking your entire being so hard and fast that you become pleasure itself. It’s everything and everywhere for eternity and you gladly accept this fact, wanting to forever exist in this moment. 

“That’s so good, darling. So fucking good. You want me to let you come, don’t you?” 

You nod frantically as the edges of you start to fray.

“Go ahead, come for me.” 

His permission completely unravels you, ripping away the last delicate thread holding you together. You sob as you fall apart into a thousand pieces. His hips stutter and he moans, giving you a few deep thrusts before pulling out. 

Your chest heaves as you try to catch your breath. You float in the peaceful pond, staring up at the towering treetops that kiss the sky. 

“Now in a minute, I’ll bring you back to your normal state. When I count to four and tell you to wake up, you’ll come out of the trance relaxed and refreshed. Your mind will feel spotless. You’ll know that I adore you and hold you close to my heart.”

You hear birds peacefully chirping. You know it’s just you and them and Dave for a million miles. You are small and big like a speck of dust or a galaxy. You are safe. You are at peace. 

“And one two three four… wake up.”

[wardensantoineandevka]

I think a fundamental part of the relationship between Deli and Colin is that Deli never actually saw Colin as an equal. This is the root at why, when Colin expresses mild questioning in episode 4, Deli attempts to intimidate and order Colin into standing with him. Deli also has a habit of talking about Colin as if it is given Colin will support anything he did; in the same scene, he keeps saying "we" as if there is no question Colin will be alongside him, and he becomes angry when Colin expresses disagreement and declared Colin as unneeded, even a hindrance. It goes far back. There's no suggestion of choice when Colin was given the title of skald (there certainly wasn't interest in it). Notably, Colin is being literally paid to be here, and I wrote previously about how it feels there's a disconnect between the way that Colin and Deli see this relationship between episodes three and four.

In reverse, it's also notable Raphaniel and Colin's relationship is actually one of equals and a relationship in which Colin has his own agency and a freedom to be an independent person. The first thing Raphaniel does is ask if Colin would like to come with him to the cave, even initially interpreted Colin as declining, and then when Colin expresses he is not interested in Raphaniel's ambitions, he asks Colin what are his goals. When Raphaniel brings up knighthood, he presents it as something being offered to rather than chosen for Colin ("I can shroud you in gold and let your hand be the hand of this church," emphasis mine) and as a path that will give Colin an authority to seek what he wants ("Such that you need not worry to produce steel and mete out what vengeance you see fit."); even though Colin still hates the title—seems he dislikes all titles—the manner in which Raphaniel suggests a knighthood feels very different from the way Colin becomes titled as skald, especially with the way Colin actively and freely agrees to accept the role despite the parts he doesn't like. It ends up as a joke, that Colin and Raphaniel have just been following one another in a circle in place, but it's significant that Colin is willing to go where Raphaniel feels is useful and Raphaniel describes himself as hitching his wagon to Colin and Colin's success.

Generally, there's an interesting window here relating to the different social classes that Deli and Raphaniel belong to (or are presumed to belong to) and what one feels entitled to vs. what one had to scheme and work to get and how that affects the way they approach their relationship with Colin. But, anyway, it's a core part of these two relationships that Deli and Raphaniel treat Colin very differently while Colin is working alongside them. There's a mutual understanding and an equality in Colin's relationship with Raphaniel that never existed in Colin's relationship with Deli.

[ghostlythunderbird]

Omegaverse ~ Task Force 141+ Alejandro, Rodolfo, König

Warnings: Mostly SFW with a dash of NSFW (MINORS BEGONE)

Author Notes: These are gonna be short and I apologize for it but YALL THE WRITING JUICE IS DRYING UP, so once again I'm sorry. These are also my own interpretations of these characters but feel free to add on top of them. I also wanna thank @l-lend and @kelpiesummer for helping me with these, your honor I love them both.

Before we begin I would like to go over some baseline stuff to this:

In Military pack dynamics there is a Lead Alpha and a Lead Beta, and if the Alpha isn't present it is the Beta’s duty to oversee the safety of the pack.

Apex Alphas do exist here but they only make up 10% of the population, and are often ridiculed due to them being able to control a vast majority of Alphas. They are also much stronger and much bigger than regular Alphas with much stronger instincts. In modern society it's often damning should one be born an Apex because they often have to wear muzzles in public because of their unpredictability.

An Apex’s muzzle is only taken off when they are alone, mated, or receive immunity by extended military service to prove they are not a danger to anyone.

To add on about an Apex, their Ruts become stronger the longer they don't relieve built up tension over time. It has even been recorded that Apexes with no outlet have often become feral and cannot be helped out of a feral state. All Apexes MUST have a physical outlet to reduce built up tension.

All dynamics are able to become Feral, and in this universe there is not enough data to help an individual out of said feral state and will have to be sent to a designated center for proper care.

Apexes, Alphas, and Omegas are able to control themselves decently should a Rut or Heat arrive. Should one help out with these times, consent must be given beforehand and with a trusted individual. Not everyone here is driven to wackiness because of hormones

In the Military, there are often teams that are used for Ruts and Heats of all calibers, they are made up of trained Betas and are the only ones allowed to handle single Apex, Alpha, and Omega dynamics who are in a Heat or Rut.

Simon “Ghost” Riley

Simon I feel like would be an Alpha, simply because of his size and his ability to lead soldiers like a well oiled machine. He didn't start feeding into his alpha nature until he joined the Royal Army after the attacks on 9/11, mostly because his father would punish him and his family should anyone try to stand up to him. Once Simon completed his training he shows his father what a true Alpha is and acts like, and ends up kicking him out of the house before assuming the role as the protector of his family.

After losing his family and “Simon Riley” being now pronounced dead he started to hide his true nature and his scent. While his scent is practically nonexistent it didn't stop him from the commanding and somewhat protective nature of his inner Alpha. In the Ghost’s mind, no scent and repressing that inner Alpha, is the best way to begin a nonexistent life; to become nothing more but a living shadow.

In a Rut:

To describe Simon in a rut would be a very self protective Alpha, not wanting anyone with a 5 mile radius near him to ensure no one discovers his identity. And in order to safeguard that fact he ends up going to a secluded safehouse far from base to ensure not a single person can find him in such a vulnerable state. During this time he does believe it's better for him to be alone as the worry of losing himself after being pent up for so long could only cause him more trouble on top of someone finding out Simon Riley isn't as dead as they claim.

But to say he's a virgin would be a complete lie, he’s been with omegas before and many were in heat so he understands a little about omegas but nothing really outside a heat. With that being said he often craves an omega during his ruts, but after becoming the Ghost he doesn't actively seek them anymore. But if he did have an omega (maybe even you) helping him out he would definitely be very dominant, constantly on lookout after having sated both his needs and whoever is helping him. If you're close with him, he begins to show a more doting characteristic that he claims isn't there such as getting you what snack you're craving or bringing in more blankets for your heat nest.

John “Soap” MacTavish 

Now this Scott probably doesn't strike you as an Alpha, but I assure you he is 100% Alpha blood though and through. Johnny is definitely a more playful alpha compared to the rest of his team but that doesn't stop him from trying to get them to loosen up and have fun. He's even been told many didn't think he was an Alpha at their first introduction, with his fun and very caring personality he's been more mistaken as an Omega rather than an Alpha.

But that never once hurt his feelings, and has even offered to show he’s the real deal if you catch my drift. It also means he loves to show off to whoever might be watching whether they are Male, Female, Omega, Alpha, or even a Beta. His only hard NO would be an Apex of any gender, he may not have met any but there is definitely a stereotype amongst Apexes.

In a Rut:

Before anyone starts to make assumptions that he's pretty dominant in bed and during a rut that's only a half truth. While yes his body is telling him to dominate during that time he isn't fully into it, he is actually more of a switch and can be pretty needy during this time. He wants to cuddle about 90% of the time because the skin on skin helps bring his brain back to a safe place where hormones don't dictate his every move.

Johnny definitely isn't a virgin and has actually had many partners of all second genders besides apexes in his bed at least once. He can definitely say he knows his way around anybody that decides to help him in a rut but once he's sated it's straight pampering for his partner. Once you get to know him better he actually wants to play fight with you more after you're both satiated for a bit, Johnny claims it's to help build a bond between the two for you.

Kyle “Gaz” Garrick 

Before anyone yells at me for making Gaz a Beta hear me out. In a pack like Task Force 141 there needs to be a Lead Alpha and a Lead Beta that takes up for the Lead Alpha should they not be present in a situation. But our sweet Kyle definitely is the voice of reason between the original four, should the Alpha’s hormones and instincts cloud one's judgment Kyle would help set the record straight and see both sides to the coin. He’s definitely the more laid back one of the group but he can get a little wild should he need to, I mean the guy was hanging upside down under a helicopter while going down an active highway.

While he might be the more laid back one, that doesn't exactly mean he isn't a little trickster. He likes to rile Soap up before he gets told to stop which often leads to someone getting sent to the medbay, while he does mess with Ghost and Price he doesn't take it too far because not only are they Alphas they also happen to be higher in the chain of command. Kyle has stated before that it's just easier to pick on Johnny because they are both the same rank, and that Soap is the one who actually wants to up the intensity or stakes to whatever they are doing.

I'm just gonna add this in on this part to say since Betas don’t have Heats or Ruts I won't have a Rut part for Gaz. But that doesn't mean that this man doesn't get any. To anyone who has ever met him, they can say he’s super helpful during those times and has even offered to help should they need it. But that is only to a select few, he mostly just makes sure you don't die from starvation or dehydration and will even run messages and updates back and forth on whatever you want to know or need during that time.

John Price

Our captain in tight fitting camo is not just an Alpha he's The Alpha of Task Force 141, his presence is calm yet demanding attention from anyone who crosses his path. That being said, he isn't one to outright snap at anyone who gets on his nerves, but rather lets them make a fool of themselves. He will only ever step in if his team or his own safety starts being questioned around an individual or in a certain area. He is always aware of everyone under his charge and does the best he can to ensure they all make it back home safe, although they aren't scratch less sometimes but alive nonetheless.

While John is a leader and an officer he makes sure he has an end time to the mountains of paperwork on his desk. Should he have someone at home waiting for him, he makes sure to keep them updated on his whereabouts but once he's in the security of his own four walls his top priority is only them. John has been known to go off the radar sometimes while at home, but it's mostly because when he's home he doesn't want work knocking at his door when he's got other priorities. Overall this man is sweet as he can be, in his own rough way, and all he ever really wants to do is just love and pamper his mate like it might be the last time.

In a Rut:

Right off the bat he tells you he might be a bit much during this time of the year, but it's much more different than what you'd expect from an Alpha of his standing. While most of the time he's peachy with being the dominant one in bed, if the Rut is strong and he just came home all he wants is for you to take control. He will mostly complain that it's because he's “Getting old as crap” but you set that aside and simply say it's ok to let someone else take control. John just wants to be pampered in his Ruts mostly because every other time he has to be taking care of someone else.

Now if he goes into Rut while he's on extended leave and has the energy of a young buck, better buckle up then honey cause you're just gonna have to ride it out. The easiest way to say what he is in bed would be a switch but personally it isn't that simple. Personally I do believe that John can be dominant but with his line of work and his responsibilities it takes it out of him even with a rut, he wants to be dominant but simply put the man is tired most of the time. So in order to make up for it he is very caring of his partner, he wants to provide and protect his partner. John is by far one of the sweetest Alphas out there but don't tell anyone that, he has a reputation to uphold back on base.

Alejandro Vargas

This FINE Latino man is without a doubt an Alpha, with his ability to be both cunning and devious in his line of work he can make sure the job is done. While he might be unforgiving to his enemies, anyone that is a previous lover or his mate can say that he is a hopeless romantic. He showers and pampers his lovers with anything they could ever desire, Alex wants to show that he is a perfect caregiver and provider to their needs.

While he might not be a stereotypical Alpha, he can still effectively protect his mate and his pack should some catch the wrong side of him. He’s a protector and has even said that he “Will fight to his very last breath as long as it means you are all protected in the end.'' With that it's easy to say Alejandro is a very selfless person to those he trusts and will ensure all are properly protected and provided for should they come under his protection and care as the Lead Alpha.

In a Rut:

Imma say it now, Alejandro actually feeds into that inner Alpha during this time. He wants to release all that built up tension into the form of rough sex should anyone help him out. He only ever has someone with him if he knows it's bad and has no mate or anyone special, but if he does have a mate they are gonna be covered in bruises and love bites and probably bred after it. Also without a doubt he's bound to become more aggressive than normal, but again he is simply acting on instincts. However that aggression will never be used against you that could potentially hurt you.

Maybe after a few rounds Alejandro does feel like he's able enough to check on his partner, he goes to town should they need aftercare, snacks, or a shower. He kisses on deep bruises he's left along your skin, helps wash your hair and body, even makes sure you're properly fed even if he's the one who is in Rut.

Rodolfo Parra

Once again please no one yell at me for this decision, but I do feel like Rudy would also be a Beta as he works closely with Colonel Vargas as his second in command. After growing up with Alejandro, they both decided to stay together after their basic training and fight for justice in Las Almas. Wherever you see Alejandro, Rodolfo is never far behind updating the Lead Alpha should news come up over the radios from their team.

Rudy is also more alongside the more nurturing nature, he wants his team safe and will do anything to protect them. His team is his Pack and without them Rudy has nothing left, that being said he tries to improve whatever he can as the Lead Beta for Los Vaqueros. I can also say without a doubt Rudy is also the most loving person to whoever is his mate, but this isn't one sided as he also wants all the love and adoration from his mate just as much. He is a lover by nature but he also wants to be bathed and be told that he is doing a good job and a lover and a mate.

And while again Rudy may be a Beta and doesn't have a Rut it doesn't mean he is inexperienced, He chooses to wait and is actually very selective of potential partners that he shares such intimate moments with. But if you ask Alejandro he can tell you Rudy has had some drunken one night stands that makes the Beta beat red at just their mentioning.

König

Our lorge Austrian man here is one of the lesser known dynamics that makes up only 10% of the world's population; An Apex. Truly it's no surprise that this man right here would be anything less, but in König’s personal opinion it's nothing but a curse. Ever since he presented he was mocked and shamed for his second gender, it was much worse when the government sent his family a muzzle for him to wear in public. It was nothing short of humiliating, it even was something else for him to be bullied for. The bullying was also the reason why  König has deep scars around his face from the muzzle digging in, some of them because his bullies often pulled on the straps to where it was too tight.

Over the years König became more and more anxious around others, there were very limited times the large man would go out into public because he knew people would turn him away simply for his second gender. And due to the large amount of prejudice it was hard to find both a pack and a mate that would accept him, that was until you barreled into his life (literally) that he felt like someone would love him. He's a very caring Apex that goes above and beyond for his mate, there were often times he would stay on his knees and would hardly make eye contact with you. His worst fear is you realizing you don't want an Apex as a mate and leaving, he honestly thinks his heart would stop beating if you did.

In a Rut:

Now this is where he really fears himself most of all. His ruts were strong and they only continued to grow the longer he kept denying himself release with someone else. But when he was assigned to KorTac they allowed him an alternative way to help him during ruts, by sending him on solo operations to let loose on the supposed targets. But again all this was before you showed up.

After you started to share Ruts and Heats together you realized that an Apex was really just a bigger Alpha, and one who wanted nothing more to provide for you. Now while I love König being an absolute sweetheart, that's not how he is during a Rut. König is demanding and can often be rough the first few times but it's only because he never had someone to spend it with, he does end up becoming much softer and sweeter after a while. You thought König was a big soft boi during this time for your first few couplings, nope his brain is empty besides the words Mate, Breed, and Protect for an entire week (good luck walking after that). And if anyone thinks otherwise y'all meet me in the Burger King parking lot at midnight.

[twobellsilence]

On Jimmy's cannibalization of Curly

Because this game gave me brain worms I found myself thinking way too hard about the second birthday party scene. Specifically, why Jimmy cuts off a chunk of Curly's leg and not only eats it, but also forces Curly to do the same, and what this says about him and his relationship with the captain.

Jimmy frames this as a matter of survival, but that's not really the case. "Judgement" happens 3 months after Daisuke states there's food left for around 4 months, meaning they'd still have resources left for a little while; still, let's entertain the thought, as I've seen people theorize that this potential lack of food is what ultimately pushed Anya over the edge (which I don't necessarily agree with, but it seems to be a relatively common interpretation), and suppose Dai overestimated the amount of food they had or they all simply mismanaged it and they really had nothing left when Jim set up the party. That still leaves him with other three corpses - Anya, Swansea and Daisuke - to chop up and consume without endangering Curly.

You could argue Anya's body is tainted by the meds she OD's on, and that Swansea's is too saturated with alcohol, and that makes sense. Daisuke, however, presumably quit drinking mouthwash two months before the end of the game if we were to take his "I don't want to look at this stuff anymore" line at face value and consider the fact that he was sober when the vent incident happened, meaning his flesh would be clean for consumption. But Jimmy still decides to mutilate curly, even risking him bleeding out, and at that point his "survival" argument falls apart pretty quickly. It isn't just survival - it never was.

See, to Jim, Curly is not a man but an idol, a symbol. He is simultaneously a source of hatred and adoration from him; he has everything he's ever wanted, is everything he aspires to be, and he despises him not only for being better than him, but also for being willing to throw his status away just because he doesn't feel like it's quite right for him, as if said status - the one Jimmy desperately wants to reach but can't, he simply can't - didn't mean anything, at least from Jim's perspective. He thought he could finally reach this level after Curly became disabled, but he quickly found out it was more than he bargained for, and even after reassuring Curly that he's a good captain - something he'd only ever mentioned as a jab, never as something positive - and being willing to give him the title back, that resentment lingered, because even in his current state Curly was better than Jimmy could ever hope to be, and at that point he'd ran out of ways to prove himself he could be superior.

I think this is why he decides to cut off Curly's leg. Yes, it is most certainly a form of punishment - to reduce him to livestock, to a mere tool for the survival of the crew, a parallel to his role as the captain where his blood, sweat and tears kept the cogs in the machine working. But it isn't simply because he wants Curly to suffer, he already did so with the crash and agreeing to keep him alive. Eating Curly's leg is, in a twisted way, the only manner in which Jim could ever hope to embody him well enough. If he can't be like Curly, perhaps he can become Curly by consuming his very essence. And this is also why he "shares" him with the rest of the crew - severing a part of him, this unattainable symbol of authority, and feeding it to his fellow workers is a way to equalize them all, to seize power from him, and absolve Curly's sin of being above them on the ladder. And now that Curly is down at their level, maybe even lower, Jimmy is willing to share this power with Curly too by force feeding him a piece of himself - the "forgiveness" he talks about on his speech.

[smaeemo]

Season 5 of House was a genuine fever dream.

So just fyi I watched all of season 5 in one day and I am still not totally sure if I have processed even half of it, but like lets get into it.

So SPOILERS in the next part, so QUICK scroll away!

So, ok.

We start out the season strong after learning that Amber died while picking up House from drinking, and because of that, Wilson leaves and tells House that he thinks "They were never really friends,"

House is already going down a dark path of guilt ever since Amber died and has since been drowning in it. But, because this was "technically not his fault" he continues to tell himself such.

Now I don't remember if it was this season or last season when foreteen becomes a thing, but like yeah.

Taub has that whole thing prior to Kutner about how suicide is selfish and terrible and he reveals that he did in fact attempt suicide in med school.

We see that Kutner starts to decline nearing the end, now yes I understand that Kutner was technically written off because Kal Penn was offered a job in the Whitehouse (thanks obama), but lets analyze this as a whole. Kutner, being one of the prime characters that everyone compares to House. One of the characters that is supposed to have an element that most anyone can relate to, a character with a tragic backstory and a reason for how he acts. Another character that acts like House but for different reasons. Kutner at his core, is an enigma that I suppose we as watchers were supposed to unfurl as the show went on. However, we all know that his time was cut short. And I think that in itself this was an accurate representation of what suicide can look like. As someone who has been suicidal and attempted before, what I can say is that most of the time for me, it was on impulse it was at a random time because something set me off. And for Kutner I think it was honestly the fact that he was constantly compared to House (alongside many other things). Imagine that you were an adopted brown person into a white family after watching your bio parents be brutally murdered. You spend your life with an already complex understanding (or lack thereof) of your identity and personality as a whole. We see that Kutner has always had trouble with that (the bullying as an example) and how he is very frequently connecting with patients who he believed were in similar situations that he had been in. Like many kids who had to grow up too fast, Kutner now in his late 20s is just now discovering this ideation of what it means to be a child/have free will. And with this, we see this personality that comes of it, and his lack of understanding of what that looks like. We see him finally taking accountability of his bullying after years (which could also be interpreted as making ammends) and how when the patient tells him he is really not a "people person,"

Kutner's identity his whole life has been practically decided for him, whether it be being adopted into a white family, growing up too fast, being a bully, not being a "people person," or the most prevalent in the show being like House. While House's character and personality is a complex one and romantized one at most, he is a genuinely miserable person who has the goal of making everyone around him miserable as well (whether that be subconsciously or not) House is one of the most complicated and complex people I have ever seen. He is portrayed by himself mostly as someone who is only there to solve puzzles, an apathetic "monster," someone with no morals, etc. And we as viewers are constantly reminded of this in many ways, such as his treatment of patients, Cuddy, Wilson, etc. but we also get to see his more soft and human side. Which the team very rarely sees, given that he hides that from his employees and is also their authority. If anything, constantly being compared to House was something that one could only assume would start to chip away at you especially if there was truth in it. Take foreman for an example, he tried so hard not to be like house, not to be what he feared most, and that was losing his morals, aka becoming what he perceives as house. Then take Kutner, Kutner his entire life has been put into boxes never truly getting a chance to properly form his own identity, and that eventually builds and builds. And I think that from his last case, or something along the lines of it, he discovered that he was too much like house, or that his attempts that finding his own identity were futile. Kutner has a deep rooted unsolved trauma that effected him in his everyday life no matter what he did. And in spite of that and because of it, he acted the way he did, for better or for worse. And all in all, they had to kill of Kutner not only because Kal Penn's job, but also because they could start to humanize and change House's destructive path or at least divert it a little bit.

Kutner and Amber died for House's character development, which is why when House starts to go down an even deeper and darker spiral of guilt after Kutner dies the episodes start getting even more House-centric. This season we saw more human sides of house than we have ever seen before, and we also see what that does to him. Whether that be the methadone arc, or the flagrant disregard for his life, and of course the hallucinations. Kutner's death effected House in such a deep way that he started taking so much valium that along side his sleep deprivation caused his guilt to surface from repression and give him actual hallucinations. Amber being the one he had repressed for too long, Amber being the dominoe that started this whole clusterfuck.

Then of course we have the nightmare (hallucination) that was the last 2 episodes of the season, wherein the lipstick and Cuddy were both being used as metaphors for his own dependency and addiction. Along with the case that argues his "split brain" one side, the creative side making the hallucination telling him that be should become clean and sober and using Cuddy as an example for that. But then the otherside taking cuddy and her lipstick and using it as a metaphor for his obsession. In this season we see House's everything decline as his world falls apart, Cuddy, Wilson, his team, his dad, everything and then we finally see him snap.

House going to rehab what arguably the overarching point of this season, the point being that they slowly send him down a descending path, and then when he gets to the final step he does something, the one thing he can do, which is admit himself to rehab and admit he has an issue. Amber, Wilson, his dad, Kutner, Cuddy, and the hallucination was a wake up call for him and even he knew that early on, hence the one meeting with his psychiatrist. Even then, he knew he needed help. And his breaking point, was seeing Kutner and realizing all of his growth, his whole perception of his "life story" and character development was fake was his last straw.

House finally broke, and that was this season's point. House's pain and guilt finally winning him over, and eventually breaking him.

[corpsegirl-sephie]

Slay the Princess and Death of The Author

A terrible "essay" I made to get all the thoughts out of my head

There is only one character death that can't be avoided in Slay the Princess: that of The Echo (or The Narrator, if you prefer), the one who created the construct the game takes place in, the entire scenario it revolves around, and the characters that take part in it. He was dead since before the game even began, the sacrifice he had to make for this all to work.

Why did he have to die? Because The Shifting Mound would have been changed by his perception of her, and thus the construct becomes even less reliable.

In order for this to have any chance of working, the number of perspectives that she can be molded by must be as low as possible, preferably zero, but, by the very nature of what he has made, there is one perspective that can't be removed: that of The Long Quiet. He is inextricably linked to her until his task is done.

This is where the meta-textual interpretation comes in: The Shifting Mound is the story, and The Long Quiet is its audience. A story is incomplete without someone to see it, appreciate it, analyse it, just like she is when we first find her. What's the point of a story if no one hears it? Without someone to make sense of it all it's just a bunch of words. She asks us to bring her perspectives, so that she may be whole. The game is asking us to experience it and bring our own interpretations to the table, come to our own conclusions about it, and thus make its existence meaningful.

The Long Quiet is similarly incomplete at this stage, unaware of his true nature as a god. Without a story to watch unfold, an audience can't exist, it's just people, and people with nothing to do at that. Put someone in a room by themselves for long enough and they will eventually seek relief from the crushing boredom and loneliness in the same place: art. They'll hum to themselves, or start twirling about in some semblance of a dance, or, maybe, a story will start to form in their mind. People are drawn to art and stories, they are the greatest constant throughout human history. It seems fair to say, for our purposes, that we, too, are incomplete without art.

Only by interacting with each other do the two gods come to realize their full potential. If you choose to ignore the princess, and just turn away from the cabin again and again, you will find only a torturous existence for both of you, with no meaning to be found.

However, there is a third option, neither engaging with the story nor ignoring it altogether. The Echo did put a piece of himself within the construct, as all authors do by the nature of creation, and thus, there is still a perspective that is not your own at play, that of the creator. If you choose to just follow The Narrator's instructions without a second thought you reach the "good ending" to the game, an obvious joke but an ending nonetheless. The game does end and the credits do roll, but you got nothing out of it. The princess is dead and you are a mindless husk, neither of you ever having reached your true potential.

Choosing to follow the "word of god", relying on authorial intent rather than engaging with a story yourself, experiencing it firsthand and coming to your own unique understanding of it, is gonna lead you nowhere. You will not have been enriched by what you just experienced, and the story will have no meaning.

[writingmia]

kuroo tetsuro headcanons

Author's Note: I feel like there are so many misinterpretations of Kuroo’s character to the point where I see some of the most ridiculous headcanons about him in existence. He isn’t a sex god nor is he a nerd that only cares about chemistry. I want to say there is so much complexity to him and that’s why people find it so difficult to understand his character, but that isn’t it either. Because he isn’t some incredibly deep and nuanced character, he is simply him and apparently that’s confusing so many people.

Warnings: Here’s my interpretation of Kuroo Tetsuro through some headcanons! I kept them non-specific, so they can be read by any gender, any appearance - none of that is relevant, anyone's welcome here! Also, I tried to keep it non-specific when it comes to where everything’s set, so you can put this into any AU you want. No smut, nothing nsfw here, so it's safe for anyone to read. Word count: 2.7k

He isn’t an incredibly romantic person. Kuroo’s love isn’t soft and sugary sweet. It isn’t intense and burning either. He wouldn’t take you to a romantic picnic on a flower-swept hill and gently put a daisy behind your ear, nor would he take you out to a loud bar where he'd grope you the whole night and you’d end up in his bed by the end of it. I’m not saying those dates wouldn’t occur, but I don’t think Kurro necessarily fall into either category I usually see people put him in 

I firmly believe Kuroo needs someone who can be a match to him intellectually. If there is one quality that is a must-have for a relationship for that man, it’s that you’re an interesting person to talk to. Your interests don’t have to be the same as his, because then both of you can learn new things and think about new ideas you wouldn’t have thought of on your own, but you must be able to hold a conversation. Even if you aren’t incredibly talkative or extroverted, as long as you can understand what he’s talking about and contribute to the discussion, there is no need to worry about the relationship working out. 

I just really can’t see Kuroo getting along with someone who doesn’t have diverse interests. If the only thing a person can talk about is others, and gossip, and what happened last week and who did what when, he would get so bored so quickly. And he wouldn’t be afraid to show his lack of interest either. I don’t think he would want to waste his time with useless gossip all the time

Don’t get me wrong, I know Kuroo would love gossip and he would eat up everything you tell him, if that isn’t the only thing you talk about. I firmly believe he is the type of person who can shut up and just ask questions when talking to someone so he can get as much information out of them, and then run to you to debris all of his new findings. But all that in moderation. If all someone talks about is gossip, he would get bored, fast 

I think nothing is going to change in your relationship with Kuroo once you start dating. His personality is playful and teasing and there isn’t a doubt in my mind he would’ve been a cheeky bastard even before you started dating. He can be a bit of an ass at times because he just loves provoking people just to get a reaction out of them, and he also loves to joke around and throw around bad puns and word associations because, yes, there is a nerdy side to him. He’s confident, but he also knows his boundaries and wouldn’t overdo things just because.

I can see that, no matter how you meet Kuroo, you two would become friends before anything else. Somehow, you find yourself always talking to him and it feels so natural to just converse. He manages to control the conversation and steer it into any direction he wants if needed, so even if you’re worried you might run out of things to talk about, he will always find a way to continue the conversation and, when it ends, it leaves you craving more 

I think when you start dating Kuroo, little will change in your relationship. I think everything would just click into place once you make it official. I don’t think Kuroo would be shy about his crush on you, but I don’t think he’d loudly proclaim it for the whole world to hear either. He’s too smart for either of these things. I think, once he realises there is something different about you, he would keep it to himself while subtly trying to figure out if you like him back. He would flirt with you at times, joke around with you all the time. I think he'd be a physically affectionate person casually, with anyone, so he would throw an arm around your shoulders or grab you by the hand if he has to take you somewhere, and he would do it so easily because the bastard knows he does that with all his other friends too. But with you, he would keep an eye out for your reactions and he would notice all the small things - if you tense up, if you blush, if you reciprocate, if you smile when he does it. All of those things would go to a small catalogue in his head where he would then look through them all and decide if he will confess or not 

I don’t think Kuroo will make a big deal out of confessing. I don’t think he’d plan a huge scene for you with flowers and music and a flowery speech where he proclaims his love for you. He’d wait for an appropriate moment when it’s just the two of you and then, with his signature smirk, would confess. He would be nervous, of course, but he wouldn’t confess if he wasn’t certain you liked him. 

If you decide to confess to Kuroo, I don’t think he’d be mad at all. Maybe slightly caught off guard because he wasn’t expecting it, but he would be more than pleased to hear you like him as well. 

Whatever the case is, he would tease you so much after both confessions. It’s okay, though, because you find it endearing, even if you pretend you don’t

When it comes to physical affection in public, he wouldn’t care strongly and would mostly go off of your preference. If you aren’t really into PDA and showing affection, he doesn’t mind. He would sit close to you, maybe hold your hand at times, but he isn’t particularly hurt over the lack of touching. If you don’t care either, I don’t think he would naturally do big dramatic gestures. I can see him holding your hand when walking, maybe touching your waist/lower back if he needs you to stop or turn in another direction, but not much more than that. When sitting somewhere, he might play with your fingers or tap on your thighs (he says it’s to annoy you, you pretend it does, but you both do it because you both enjoy it). However, don’t expect things like sitting in his lap or anything. I believe he finds that so cringey and would take any opportunity to make fun of couples like that in public loudly. If you’re more extroverted, you’d join him. 

I don’t think he’s big on kissing in public either. A peck when you see each other is fine, as well as (mostly jokingly) kisses on the cheek or the temple, but nothing more. No making out, no shoving your tongues down each other’s throats. Again, he loves making fun of couples like that and he’s an annoying bastard, but he isn’t a hypocrite. 

To compensate for the lack of physical affection, though, I can see him flirting with you constantly. Pretending like the two of you aren’t dating. Asking you for your number every other day, having at least one cheesy pick-up line a day, making dirty jokes all the time to either see you blush or roll your eyes at him. 

He truly loves you though. I don’t see him being big with physical touch or words of affirmation as his main love languages (he uses them, of course, but he uses them with everyone, and you need to be special). So I see him doing small things to show you that despite the playful exterior, he truly cares, and he cares deeply. Getting you small presents every time he sees something and it reminds him of you, or writing you small notes and hiding them in places where you’d find them, or spending time with you doing whatever you enjoy doing the most. That’s the stuff Kuroo does to show how much he loves you, and that’s only for you and him to see. He doesn’t like making these things public knowledge, nor involving others in it. He likes it best when it’s just a tradition between him and you, it makes it more intimate and meaningful that way. 

Being menaces together. Oh, this is a must. I did say the only must is that you can keep up with him in conversations and ideas, but if you can be as much of a menace as he is, he is going to be smitten and over-the-moon. It’s okay if his significant other is a sunshine that gets along with everyone, he would enjoy making you laugh with his little comments, but if you can match his energy, god. He’s done for. Even if, on the outside, you appear nicer, more quiet, if you sometimes mutter some small comment under your breath, or make a small quip only for him to hear, he will melt on the inside. What melts him inside is you being slightly mean to others in a funny way? Yes. That is the type of person Kuroo is, sorry, you chose that for yourself. 

If you can match him outwardly, though. Well, he loves it. So much. If his partner can match him for wits, if they can also be dramatic with him, act over-the-top, make jokes and make fun of people with him, he will love you forever. That’s the one sure way into being his favourite person. And you don’t even need to be mean with the jokes or “making fun of people”. It can be the small things about people you both dislike, or even towards him. If the two of you have banter and make fun of each other without any feelings being hurt, he will be yours forever 

I can’t really see Kuroo with someone very sensitive. Down-to-earth people who can take a joke and match him perfectly are more his type, because he never has to worry about hurting your feelings accidentally, or you being upset over something he said. Because if he crosses a line, you need to be able to call him out immediately. He wouldn’t be mad, even if you are. He would simply listen to you, make a note of it, apologise, and you’d move on. 

Kuroo doesn’t hold grudges. He doesn’t have time for useless emotions. He likes to feel his feelings, and then move on, and that’s why communication is so important with him. If he has a problem with something you do, he wants to be able to come to you, tell you and fix it without you taking it personally because it isn’t. He just wants to be happy with you, that’s why the quicker you work out problems, the better 

Kuroo’s the type of person who’s incredibly passionate about anything and everything he does. That’s why, often, if you guys are discussing something, it might appear as if he is arguing with you, but I promise you, he isn’t. He’s just very passionate every time he talks. With his love for a good debate and discussion, combined with his healthy communication, problems would barely appear so I really can’t see him be the type who you would be getting into fights with often/if at all 

Wouldn’t be into cutesy nicknames. Love/darling/bunny/sweetheart, etc. Forget it. Unless he’s saying it sarcastically, you wouldn’t hear them. Maybe in moments of rare softness, he would say something like “baby” or “love”, but it wouldn’t be calling you that all the time. UNLESS it started off as a joke and then became a habit. That’s acceptable. I would expect you’d call him things like “bastard”, “ass”, “bother” and, in response receive “pest”, “sweetest” or “dearest”, and any short joke in existence (even if you’re taller than him, for some reason???). I’m telling you, Kuroo is a menace and if you’re one back, you’d have him handing you his heart on a silver platter 

He honestly doesn’t care what he does with you. You can go out on dates in the city, exploring new places, eating at new restaurants, looking at galleries and museums, or you could be sitting on a bench in the park or lying in your bed just talking. As long as he’s with you, Kuroo’s happy. As long as he’s with you, he’s entertained. I don’t think he’d have one favourite type of date with you, as long as it’s with you. You’re his favourite thing. 

I firmly believe that, as long as the person is compatible with him, Kuroo would fall in love fast, and he’d fall hard. You’d be his closest friend, you’d be his favourite person to talk to and to spend time with, and you’d be his family. He would choose you over anyone else without any hesitation and without any guilt, because why would he be guilty about loving you? No one else has made him feel this way before and no one else has understood him and made him feel as safe as he does with you. Honestly, he doesn’t really need other people once he has you 

Now, don’t get me wrong with the previous statement. I really don’t think Kuroo would be possessive or controlling. I don’t think he would date anyone who he doesn’t trust, so he would have no reason to be possessive over you. He trusts you with his heart and with his whole being, so he doesn’t get jealous if other guys hit on you. It’s kind of obvious to him they would - after all, you’re the most perfect being in his eyes so obviously others would see that too. So, he would just sit back and enjoy the sight of you telling whoever’s flirting with you to fuck off because’re already taken. Or, he would come up to you and, in a rare display of affection for others, hug you by the waist and kiss you on the head and simply give the person hitting on you a lazy smirk and a raised eyebrow before telling them to get lost. 

He would want you to get along with his friends and family and when you do, he would love you even more. I firmly believe he’s the type of softy who would just watch you with a sappy smile as he watches you talk to his closest people and just be happy because all his favourite people get along. 

HE WOULD LOVE TO LISTEN TO YOU TALK. About anything. Just, start talking about something you love and you’re passionate about and he would be listening. And so intensely too. He would stare at you with so much affection, he would nod, he would ask questions if he has to. He just cares so much about anything that you love. He would just cup his cheek and listen to you rant for yours and he'd be content and happy. Even if you worry you’re boring him or that he stopped listening, he didn’t. He heard every single word 

Your family would love him. I don’t think I need to elaborate here. He’s just that person who charms everyone so quickly. If you have younger siblings or relatives, the kids would be obsessed with him and always drag him to play with them, and he wouldn’t mind. The adults would love him too, obviously. 

I feel like his mother would love you. She would embrace you as a part of the family immediately, especially if he’s an only child. She would love you for how much you take care of him, and she would love you even more for not being afraid to put him in his place from time to time because he’s her son and she knows he’s a bit much at times. She’d be the dream mother-in-law. At some point, you will be able to start going out with just his mum. Like, Kuroo would ask you if you have plans on a Saturday morning and you’d tell him, super serious, you’re going to a farmer’s market with his mother and then you guys are going to go get coffee and that he is not invited.

[bloodlessbelmounte]

Eternity Will Bring You Near - Chapter 1

Masterlist

Summary:

Wade understood that Logan was from a world where Alpha, Beta and Omega were everyday terms, not exclusive to red-pilled incel fuckheads who kept inventing new performative male genders. Wade would've been classified as a Beta. Logan, however, was an Alpha - Wade's read enough fanfiction and yaoi manga to know what that means. Though it doesn't explain why Logan keeps sniffing him.

Pairing: Alpha!Worst Wolverine/Deadpool

Genre: A/B/O, Smut, Domestic-ish

Warnings: A/B/O Dynamics, Blood, Mild Gore/Body Horror, Masturbation, Additional warnings to be added as more chapters are uploaded.

Beginning Note: This was originally meant to be a crackfic but the bitch decided to become a multichapter project instead. I never thought I would get brain rot this severe over a movie of all things. The toxic old man yaoi really is a hell of a drug.

Cross posted to AO3

Heya kiddos- well actually no I hope you’re not kiddos. The following events aren’t exactly G-rated. Scratch that, not G-rated in the slightest. See the author’s girlfriend asked them if they had written anything gay before because and I quote “You’re the type of person I imagine would – you are very gay” and was very surprised to find her partner had, in fact, not written gay porn for a rabid audience (though they once wrote reader insert smut for one of the most rabid fan-bases – BTS anyone?). Lucky for her, the author’s autistic ass is currently hyper-fixated on my movie and has watched it twice. Now I know what you’re thinking: another re-imagining of the icon and highly erotic Honda Odyssey scene that the Tumblr girlies are going feral over? Sadly no, there are over a hundred-and-sixty interpretations of that situationship on AO3 already and the author is not up to that task. Self-conscious and insecure fuckface they are. Oh b-t-dubs, this will have mixed perspectives. So without further ado, let’s fucking do this. Maximum effort.

Deadpool didn’t imagine his epic team-up with his hero of heroes to end this way. With his noble self-sacrifice, blue anti-matter coiled around his wrist, coursing through his veins and dismantling him atom by atom and him helplessly reaching for the matter contained on the other side of this fucking bridge. No, to be honest, he imagined it ending with maybe a few drinks in a bar to celebrate victory before trying to convince Wolverine to hate fuck him. When have things ever gone his way?

You will never save the world. Ya couldn’t even save a relationship with a god damn stripper.

“Not now, flashbacks.”

Grunts of effort and pain as he was on the verge of dislocating his shoulder to just fucking reach the other fucking side. He had to save them. Give Peanut the restart he deserved. Give this world the hero it deserved. Madonna’s ‘Like a Prayer’ was ringing through his ears as he knew he needed a miracle. And just like a prayer answered, Wolverine was right there with him, gripping tightly to his reaching hand and bridging the gap. He had a few precious seconds to appreciate the washboard glistening abs that were explosively -gloriously- exposed to his greedy eyes before Madonna and the pain crescendoed. Oh, what he would’ve done to at the very least get a bit of frottage from that meal of a man. Deadpool and Wolverine’s shouts of agony as energy tore through them intermingled, part of the chorus only he could hear.

White. Everything was white. Burning hot and blinding. Then there was…

Nothing. No pain. No heat. Just weightlessness.

Until his body collided with a wall with a thunk and sprawled onto the ground. He couldn’t get up immediately, his healing factor working overtime to patch up the spider webbing network of atomised damage. Once the pain was tolerable enough, Deadpool stumbled up to his feet with gritted teeth. What did people say? Pain lets you know you are still alive. Well, he was definitely alive then. The smoke and debris in the air made it hard to breathe let alone see through his mask, that wouldn’t do. Ripping the miraculously intact material off, Wade idly wondered why his clothes were fine. Did the universe decide he was too much of an eyesore to strip? Or more logically, Logan’s metal skeleton made him more conductive. Shit.

Wade scanned the destroyed room, trying to catch a glimpse of neon yellow. Panic seeped in when he couldn’t immediately spot the older mutant. Please don’t be vaporised.

“Wolvie? Peanut?!”

A groan came from across the other side of the wreckage. Groaning was good. Groaning – in this case – meant pain or annoyance, which meant functional nervous system. Good. Good. Now, how to get across. Bridge is out of the question, it’s royally fucked. Which left clambering over crumbled walls that blocked the walkways. Goal set, Wade navigated his way over to roughly where he heard the groan emanate from, muscles protesting the whole time. Bright yellow peaked out from underneath the rubble. Logan’s knee to be precise. Wade sighed.

“Maximum effort.”

Wade got to work, moving aside the bricks that had landed on top of his partner, revealing a barely lucid Wolverine and- Holy shit. Big fuck off piece of metal shelving right through the stomach. Wade was pretty sure the only reason Logan wasn’t bisected was because of those metal bones of his.

“Take a deep breath, Honey Badger, this is going to hurt worse than the reviews for the Borderlands movie. Can you believe they’ve gotten a nine percent critics score on Rotten Tomatoes while we have a seventy-eight? They weren’t too happy about all the rectal stabbings. Have they not heard of queer allegory? Though we’re ninety-five from audiences. Must be all the sexual tension between us.”

As Wade was prattling on – partly running his mouth as always and partly to distract Logan – he unsheathed his katanas and slotted them into the wound and wiggled them under the metal.

“The fuck are y’doing, Bub?” Logan seethed through gritted teeth, trying to sit up only to be pushed back down again by the merc.

See Wade wasn’t always an idiot- “Hey I take offence to that.” -but he could have a smart idea every once in a while, such as now. Knowing that he did not possess the strength to pull out - “My pull-out game is strong I’ll have you know.” - the sheet of metal, a proper application of force would allow him to lever it out. Taking turns with what katana he pushed down on, he eventually worked the shelf out far enough for him to straddle the other man’s lap and rip it out the rest of the way with a wet squelch. Next to come out were his beloved weapons which he wiped in his elbow crease then re-sheathed.

Immediately Logan’s thatched lickable abs started to knit themselves back together. And Wade couldn’t stop his hands from wandering; tracing up his chest and neck to grab those blowjob handles, lean down, and finally kiss the crotchety old fuck like he’d been dying to for the past seventy-two hours. Because in for a penny in for a pound, who knows if he’d see him again when all is said and done. Logan went stiff beneath him and Wade froze in place, knowing in his bones that he was going to get pushed off. But then Logan relaxes and his arms wrap around Wade’s waist to pull him closer, his tongue sweeps across the seem of scarred lips asking for entry. Which is enthusiastically granted. Blood and iron assaults Wade’s taste buds as teeth knock and tongues dance. Of course, being over two hundred would make Wolvie a great kisser, the man wasn’t contractually allowed a flaw under Disney. As much as Wade would have loved to carry on sloppily making out and maybe slip his hand down what remains of Logan’s suit, he knew that even though he wouldn’t mind beating the crap out of a bureaucrat with a raging hard-on, the man beneath him probably would. And so semi-reluctantly Wade broke away with a sigh, Logan’s hands shifting to lightly grasp his hips.

“We should show that motherfucker upstairs just how alive we are.”

Of course, you gays, gals, and non-binary pals know what happens after that. We march our asses up to those pencil pushers resulting in two iconic lines – one of which is an Oscar-worthy delivery of my favourite word. There were some extreme levels of sexual tension between B-15 and Peter, Logan and I regenerate my timeline meaning my plan fucking worked and Logan got to stay here. We also got a fat stack of compensation each for our efforts. Now we cut to shawarma and see things from a grumpy puppy’s perspective.

Logan knew to expect some differences between this universe and his original such as there still being living X-men. And he knew that there was the fundamental difference of a lack of secondary sexes here but the distinct absence of pheromones everywhere made the air here seem… cleaner? Almost overwhelming in its purity. The scent of pollution, of food being prepared, of dog piss on the pavement undiluted. No Alphas peacocking. No Omegas trying to suppress and get by. Just “average” people living average lives. Like what was happening in front of him.

Logan, with arms crossed over and leaning against a wall, watched in amusement (not that he’d ever admit to it) as Wade went to place his order at the shawarma place he had led him to.

“I’ll have one beedo beedo, a chocobo supreme, and a mountain boo bah. What would you like Honey Badger?” Wade asked his elbow on the counter top, head resting on his hand as his body was turned to face his partner, ignoring how the server was looking at him like he’d grown three heads.

“Sir, this is a shawarma joint, we only do shawarma here. I have no idea what a beedo beedo is-” The kid behind the counter tried to inform the ADHD-riddled regenerator only to be met with a finger over his lips as he was promptly shushed.

“We do the talking sweetums, you just be a little patient. Wolvie? Anything in mind?”

Some rest would be a good start, then a shower and bottle of whiskey. An explanation on that kiss back there. But food was a good start.

“Ignore his ramblings, he’s had multiple head injuries over the last few days. We’ll have two beef and one chicken, all the salad. Obviously tarator sauce in the beef and toum in the chicken. As for drinks, give us whatever beer y’d recommend.” Logan noticed Wade’s jaw drop out the corner of his eye as he rattled off a proper order. The kid behind the counter pushed the finger on his lips away and nodded, inputting the order and printing off the details to pass to the cook. “What? Did y’think I’d never had this before?”

Wade blinked at him, “Well… uh… to be honest yeah. Didn’t take you for the adventurist foodie type.”

“Need I remind y’of just how old I am, Bub? I was around when immigrants introduced this to the country.”

“Oh, so you’re the original trendsetter for your universe. Speaking of, I’ve seen the fanfictions and read the yaoi, did your world have fated pairs and heat cycles? Do male Omegas just have a dick and ass or do they have a vagina too? Or did they just have a vagina? Did you have to take suppressors for your ‘Alpha Ruts’ to reign in your primal instincts?” Wade’s eyes shone with curiosity as he fired off questions, “Oh are we going to have to deal with those now that you’re in residence here? Maybe I should ask that TVA lady to get you like an inter-dimensional prescription.”

Logan sighed and rubbed his face, he had been expecting this line of questioning. Honestly, he had expected them to occur in the Void after Wade got offended for being called a beta-

“What in the Andrew Taint bullshit is that? They have toxic masculinity red-pillers in your world too? And you’re one of them? For shame Logi Bear. That’s why you’re the Worst Wolverine.”

-and the subsequent misunderstanding was cleared up. At least in the Void, there were fewer witnesses.

“In order: Yes to both. Dick and Ass. Yes, it’s a pain to get by without them or a partner. And that’s all I’m telling y’because it doesn’t affect you.”

“That’s no fun. I need the juicy deets,” Suddenly Wade gasped and pointed at him, “Do you knot?! Bite on the nape of the neck? Oh, I think I might just pop a chub at this rate.”

Logan growled standing straight and emitting his pheromones on instinct, “Enough. As I said it doesn’t affect y’so y’don’t need to know.”

Silence. Finally silence. And the faintest smell of something sweet.

“Order up.”

Logan took his two beef and handed the chicken to Wade alongside a beer, his own stuffed into a jacket pocket. They sat outside the shop in silence and in the time it took for Logan to wolf down one and a half of his order, Wade had only finished half before he started talking again.

“You know, the Avengers discovered shawarma in the sacred timeline.” He said, mouth still full.

Logan glanced over at him, “They’d be lucky to have y��.”

Wade had a considering look in his eye as paused chewing then nodded. The guy still probably had his insecurities and self-doubt that Logan definitely exacerbated in the Honda. Just as they were about to take another bite, barking and the sound of scampering paws were heading right at the pair. It was that fucking dog.

“Oh~”

“Come on,” Logan groaned, head falling back.

“Fuck!” Wade threw his half-eaten wrap on the ground and began the daintiest clap Logan had ever seen done by someone other than a white girl, “Come over here my little munchkin! Yes, it’s you~. You’re a survivor.” Wade picked up the ugly little thing, squeezing her tight and kissing her on the head. “Oh, all is right in the world. Yes, it is.” Wade turned to him, eyeing him up and down, “So what are you going to do next?”

Logan shrugged, “I’ll figure it out. I always do.”

“That right? I’ll probably see you around,” A small smile was playing on his lips as he continued to gauge his response.

An impulsive thought wormed its way into his head, before he knew it he found himself quirking an eyebrow at the merc and proceeded to lie.

“Probably not. See y’, Bub.”

With that, he stood up and walked away as Wade continued to pet Dogpool. He threw the remains of his meal onto a table. A waste really. But all part of the plan. His pace was slow and measured, he was waiting. And when he heard the call of:

“Logan!”

He stopped, a small smile unable to be contained as Wade finally called him by his name. Not one of those childish nicknames. This had been what he was waiting to hear. He turned to face Wade, his expression schooled into a neutral facade.

“Stay with me- us.” Wade offered, pointing between himself and the dog.

Logan walked back over to him, “I thought y’shared a one-bedroom apartment with a lovely blind woman named Althea. Doesn’t sound like y’have much room for me.” Not much room in the apartment or his life. He wasn’t part of Wade’s world.

“There’s always room for one more. We have a pull-out sofa you can use. Not much privacy but it’s home. I only share a bed with Blind Al because I’ve been incredibly touch-starved since the breakup and need my bedtime cuddles.”

Logan huffed a chuckled, “That’s why I had to tie y’up, Bub.” A lie. In reality he had been planning to abandon Wade in that car. “Well, I’m not one to turn down a free roof over my head until I can sort out something more permanent.”

Before he knew it, he was following Wade to his home which was a lot closer to the TVA base and, subsequently, the shawarma shop than he had expected. Just down the street really. Meeting Al was sweet, it almost felt like being introduced to a parent back when he was a young man. And much like a mother, she swiftly turned in ire to Wade and slapped him on the arm with such precision Logan almost doubted her disability.

“Wade W. Wilson, you disappear after blowing out your birthday candles only to return with havoc in the streets and a man on your arm. You could have told us you were dating again. Peter was worried sick about you.”

It had been his birthday? The merc had spent his birthday trying to save his friends -his world – and was rewarded with a thorough verbal dressing down and a night of carnage in a car.

“Oh well, you know, it was the usual. I got abducted, told our universe was dying because someone had to go and nobly sacrifice themselves for the next generation of mutants. So then I hopped through multiple universes to find me a Wolverine who wouldn’t stab me on sight. Found this fella right here and got sent to the universal (not the studio) trash heap. Where I then proceeded to get my brain finger fucked by a bald long-nail-bedded bitch. Seriously they began at like her knuckle. Props to the costume department for that mildly disturbing detail.” Al’s inability to see didn’t stop Wade’s wild gesticulations as he described the events that happened to him. “And after a daring escape from her clutches, I had the best birthday car romp in a while. Became a real pin cushion for ‘im.” Wade sent Logan a wink.

Logan cleared his throat and avoided eye contact, a slight heat taking root in his ear at the implication behind those words. Al gagged.

“Wade, what I’m about to say is without a hint of homophobia: I don’t need to hear any more about your repulsive sex life. It’s bad enough I can hear you choking the chicken in the bathroom.”

Wade was laughing to himself as he meandered away from his now two room-mates and it was only slightly awkward until he returned with sweatpants and a tank top in hand. He shoved them into Logan’s chest along with a towel.

“Shower is through that door there,” He pointed to his right, “You reek of alcohol, blood, and Marvel H Christ knows what else. I doubt I smell much better – not like the Void had personal hygiene products lying around – but your odour can only be described as one of my twenty-eighteen suicide attempts from the second movie before I rewrote the events that triggered that spiral.” Wade looked off to the side, “You readers know which one I’m on about.” He mimicked an explosion sound as he ballooned his hands apart.

Logan was taken aback for a moment, processing that the seemingly always chipper buffoon had tried to kill himself at some point. However, he decided against acknowledging the trauma dump by just grunting his thanks. He took the offered clothes and beelined for the bathroom.

Alright fuck-os let’s focus on me again.

Shut up, Wade. I’m trying to write here.

Oh sure you are. I saw you reading other fanfics and some of my comic runs. And aren’t you on vacation now? I didn’t say you could take a break.

Sigh. Anyway…

Wade placed Mary Puppins on the floor and then immediately flopped onto the sofa, energy levels depleted and a deep set ache in his muscles. He waited for the sound of the shower starting before speaking.

“We’re not dating.”

“Not yet,” Al responded, somehow managing to give him a pointed look despite a) being blind and b) wearing sunglasses so he couldn’t see her eyes.

“The man hates me. Stabbed me many times on many occasions – not that I didn’t enjoy it.” Wade grumbled, sinking further into his seat.

“So why is he here?”

“He had nowhere else to go. I couldn’t just let him wander the streets after I abducted him. Not after he saved me.”

“So Vanessa announces she has a new boyfriend after you’ve been separated for two years and you went and kidnapped one for yourself. That’s a new kind of fucked up, even for you Wade.”

“Yeah I know, I’m a bigger fuck up than Ryan Reynolds accepting that Green Lantern role. I don’t need reminding. Again, we’re not dating. Manage to get your hands on some White Girl Interrupted while Feige’s attention was on the Void?”

“You might not be but you like him. You haven’t introduced someone to me like that since Vanessa. I still don’t know who the fuck Feige is but yes I did.”

“Good because I need some right now. I’m guessing you’ve put it in your sex toy drawer in an attempt to deter me but Al you always fail to remember very little disgusts me.”

Wade slapped his lap as he got up, signalling the end of the conversation. He went back to the bedroom and immediately opened the aforementioned drawer, sticking his hand in he rifled through dildos and vibrators of various shapes and sizes until he found a rectangular packet. Bingo. Oh, he was so going to build a snowman. Oh wait, this is fanfiction, not a movie, Feige has no control here. Wade can just say cocaine.

You guys are going to have to use your imagination here because the author doesn’t know how to write cocaine usage because they’re a pure little munchkin who only ever smoked weed like five times and sniffed poppers once.

Hey stop interrupting or I’ll make this a T rating.

Suitably buzzed and the throbbing ache of his muscles dulled, Wade grabbed a towel and a set of PJ’s to change into after his turn in the shower. His timing was seemingly perfect as he entered the living area just as Logan stepped out of the bathroom towelling his hair roughly, a steam plume framing him in a haze with the lighting hitting just right. The clothes lent to him a tight fit as they clung to the man’s muscular frame, hugging spots that weren’t completely dry yet. Dear lord, was that a dick print? Look at the size of that thing! He needed to French kiss whoever invented grey sweats. Whoever they are or were, he hoped they were getting laid six ways to Sunday. Wade found himself thanking whatever foresight he had since the white tank went near translucent in places like the dips of Logan’s abs and the swell of his pecs. He quickly wiped away the drool on the corner of his lips.

“Nice milk cans you got there, Wolvie. Hope you didn’t use up all the hot water,” Wade commented, eyes still roving over the other’s effortlessly erotic form. That’s the World’s Sexiest Man 2008 for you.

Logan slung the towel around his shoulders, a flush to his cheeks – from heat, Wade’s comment, or ogling who knows – as he seemingly took a moment to study the merc’s face.

“Is… Is that cocaine in y’nose? Y’pupils are dilated. Are y’high?” Logan scoffed in response, eyebrows pinched together.

Wade wiped his nose, “Did you know your pupils can dilate as much as fifty-five percent when you look at something or someone you love? Because I’m loving what a feast for my eyes you are.” He approached the grouchy man and rubbed a thumb between his eyebrows, which was swiftly slapped away with a grumble, “You shouldn’t frown so much, it’ll age you faster. As much as I am all for our old man yaoi dynamics I don’t want you looking like the Old Man Logan who shotgun blasted me.”

Wade patted Logan on the arm as he squeezed past him to get entry into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. He chucked the towel and change of clothes onto the bathroom’s counter top, knocking over the toothbrush pot and a few other bits. He then stripped off the red leather suit, having to peel it away as dried blood and various other bodily fluids had acted as fucking glue. Bare as the day he was born, Wade turned the shower on and fiddled with the taps to get the temperature just how he liked it. Steamy, the same way he liked his homoerotic fight scenes.

Stepping in, Wade rolled his shoulders and took a moment to let the water ease his tight muscles.

“That’s the good stuff,” he moaned softly, tilting his head back eyes closed.

After what felt like a suitable amount of time had passed, he grabbed his loofah and body wash and went to town on getting the caked-on grime off of his scarred skin. The water flowing down the drain was a murky burgundy as sand, old blood, and who knows what else was washed away.

When the water turned clear Wade decided to focus on… other things. Mainly the beefcake wearing his clothes at that very moment, the walking wet dream he was. Visions of those sweaty tits floated through his mind, making his cock – which had already been at half-mast – twitch in interest. God, he had been dying to rub one out since he woke up tied against The Wolverine. He grasped himself firmly and gave a few tugs to get fully hard before teasing over the tip. His bottom lip was caught between his teeth as tried to stifle his whimpers. He worked over his shaft as he recalled how Logan had smiled during their scuffle in the Honda, how his blood had dripped onto the older man’s cheek and into his mouth – on those fangs. Logan had licked the blood off with an almost feral look in his eyes before launching him through the sun roof. Fuck. He wasn’t going to last with how pent-up he was. His grip tightened as he sped up his ministrations. He remembered the kiss after saving the multiverse as he came with an embarrassingly desperate groan. Logan had kissed him back. Had held him close. Yet when all was said and done, he had been ready to leave Wade behind. What a confusing, grumpy hunk. With a shaky exhale he turned off the shower.

Wade towelled off and got dressed. His chosen PJ’s for the night were lavender shorts and a Hello Kitty crop top. Hey – crop tops were invented by male bodybuilders to get around gym attire rules, so never let anyone tell you men can’t wear crop tops. With dramatic zeal, Wade threw open the door and strutted out of the bathroom. He was not expecting to have two pairs of hazel eyes looking right at him. One in disdain and one in… appraisal?

Laura. Laura was on his sofa. Why was she here? Oh god… did Laura hear him jerking off?!

“Oh.” Wade squeaked, mortified as his body tinged a dark red. “Hi there.”

The girl, so much like her father, grunted in response and turned away. Speaking of, Logan had yet to tear his eyes away and if Wade saw correctly, he seemed to be… sniffing?

“Enjoy y’shower, Red?” The smirking fucker asked, then gestured towards Laura, “The TVA just dropped her off. She has nowhere to crash so Althea kindly offered her y’spot on the bed.”

Wade gasped and marched round to stand in front of the pair, “What? Where am I supposed to sleep? On the floor?”

“I’m not going to make y’sleep on the floor in y’own home, Wade. Y’ll be bunking with me on the sofa.” Logan patted the free space next to him.

Wade stiffly sat down in the offered seat and whispered incredulously to the older man, “What about my bedtime cuddles?”

“I’m sure y’can make do without.” Logan deadpanned but that infuriating smirk was still plastered on his face.

It was quite the jump from it just being Wade and Al in the shitty one bed apartment to there now being four people in the space of a few hours.

Wade huffed and crossed his arms, “We need to find a bigger apartment… Anyone feel like Chinese food?”

There was a chorus of agreement. Wade took Al’s phone off the coffee table and opened up the delivery app he used most, his favourite Chinese take-out was top of the recommended list. He put in what he and Al usually ordered then passed the phone to Logan. His former eyebrows shot upwards as the bi-centenarian successfully navigated the menus and selected what he wanted. It was Laura who seemed perplexed by the menu and the food listed. It was a sweet moment, watching Logan awkwardly explain what everything was when asked. Despite being virtually strangers, there looked to be a genuine connection forming already. Kin recognising kin on that instinctual level only Wolverines can experience. Wade took the time to tell Al and Laura all about the epic battle in the streets and how they saved the world with the power of hand holding as they waited for their food to arrive.

“You know Peter will have told everyone by now that you’re back with company,” Al remarked, petting Mary Puppins who had situated herself on the elderly woman’s lap. “They’ll be over tomorrow, I just know it.”

Wade felt Logan go rigid beside him, was he worried about Negasonic and the other X-men in his makeshift family? Oh, that was going to be a weird meeting wasn’t it. Not because they’d be seeing a ghost of their Wolverine, no. Their Wolverine was still alive and kicking, after all it’s twenty-twenty-four at the moment not twenty-nine which was when his timeline’s Logan was scheduled to die. See, Wade had used that TVA device to jump forward in time and exhume his remains because for the TVA all timeline events are happening simultaneously. So these X-men would be seeing a stranger who looked like their Logan, and Logan would be seeing the faces of those he had already lost in his world knowing he was going to lose them here too. Wade made a silent vow to keep Negasonic, Yukio and Colossus away from Westchester when the time comes. He liked those ones.

…Wait. All that timey-whimey stuff meant that Paradox, the dickhead, was going to set off the Time Ripper five years before this timeline’s OG Logan was meant to die. Was he really so impatient to ‘prune’ the timeline that he wasn’t willing to waiting for the self-sacrificing fuck to actually do the thing?

“Everyone except Weasel – his actor has multiple sexual assault allegations against him and that’s not a good look for us,” Wade interjected in a most likely misguided attempt to lighten the mood. All it got him, however, was Laura and Logan staring at him. “Hey, I don’t keep people like that in my social circle. I’m a good boy. Consent is sexy and if someone doesn’t take no for an answer, stab ‘em. Solves everything.”

Laura nodded at the sagely advice then looked towards the door and stood up seconds before knocking resounded from the entry way. Wade handed her the tip money as she walked by to answer. Food secured, Wade stood up, washed up some cutlery that would be needed and handed them out as Logan helped Laura to sort out the food and Al turned on the TV – Golden Girls was already playing. They mostly ate in silence whilst Wade made comments about the episode that was met with “Shut up” from various people. It wasn’t long until Al was retiring for the night and taking Laura with her to sort some things to wear. The girl was briefly sent out with bedding, blankets and spare pillows for the sofa.

“We should probably get the bed set up, sounds like we’re in for a long day tomorrow,” Wade suggested while clearing away the take out containers.

“We should… but we still have those beers from the shawarma place. In the fridge, if y’d like to have them now,” Logan offered, collecting up the dirty cutlery to put in the already overflowing sink. He grunted at the sight of it.

Wade retrieved said beers and handed one to Logan who released a single claw and used it to pop the cap off. He then did the same to Wade’s, who found that all too attractive, he had to think of puppies being kicked to stop himself from popping a boner then and there.

“Cheers. To saving the world!” Wade toasted, clinking his bottle against Logan’s.

“To saving y’world,” Logan grumbled, immediately taking a deep swig.

“Any particular reason you wanted to share a drink with me, Peanut?” Wade asked, sitting back down on the cushion he had previously occupied, eyes following Logan as he sat on the opposite side of the sofa with legs spread. Slut.

“Deserve it after the shit we’ve been through. Not everyday people like us nearly die.” Logan answered, gesturing between them.

“Thank you, by the way, for not letting me face death alone in the end. Despite the noble sacrifice, I wasn’t lying when I said I was scared,” Wade said, shifting in his seat to bring both his feet up. It just never felt right to have them on the floor.

Logan growled, “Couldn’t exactly let y’. As I said, I had nothing left to live for. Would have left me stranded here with no fucking clue who anyone was if y’had succeeded. Asshole move on y’part.”

Wade nursed his beer as Logan spoke. Truthfully, he hadn’t thought that far ahead in his rushed plan to save everyone. He placed his drink on the coffee table and tried looking anywhere but at the man casually spread across his sofa. Candid moments came as naturally as bottoming to him. Not at all.

“In that moment, when you offered yourself up and held that picture, I thought I needed to save those I cared about. Apparently, in the three fucking days we’ve known each other for, you became the tenth person in my world. Saving everyone meant saving you too – despite the stabbing each other.”

The silence that came afterwards made him uncomfortable, had him reaching for his beer to keep his mouth busy. He could hear Logan gulping down his before hollow glass clinking on MDF resounded through the room with an accompanying sigh. Wade finally looked at the other man, who just seemed tired. Ready to call it a night.

“What’s done is done, Bub. Just glad we both survived to see another day.” Logan pointed to the mostly full bottle in Wade’s hands, “Y’gonna finish that?”

“Oh, uh yeah. Hang on.” In a similar display to what Logan had done in that dive-bar he dragged him out of, Wade necked the bottle of beer, some of the liquid dribbling out the corner of his mouth. He impressed himself with how he managed to chug it down without needing to breathe – he thought those binge drinking muscle memories had long since faded. Once empty, Wade lowered the bottle and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. His gaze drifted over to Logan whose eyes, which were darker than usual (but that may have been down to the lighting), were locked on Wade’s throat.

“You good there, Honey Badger?”

Logan blinked a couple of times and shook his head, “Yeah just… just lost in thought. Let’s get the bed set already.”

Wade nodded and picked up their bottles, depositing them in a plastic bag that contained other used glass items. He then manoeuvred the coffee table out of the way so Logan could pull the bedframe and mattress out. It all felt rather domestic; pulling the bottom sheet into place, setting up the blankets and pillows together. The lights were turned off and the two men got under the covers. Wade really did try to go to sleep but for all his effort he was left tossing and turning.

“Will y’quit it? Is your ADHD so severe you can’t stay still even in your sleep?” Logan groaned, arm slung over his face.

“I wasn’t lying about needing bedtime cuddles, Logi Bear,” Wade hissed back.

Logan huffed and threw the arm closest to Wade over the younger man, “Fine. Y’can cuddle this arm. But just the arm.”

“Yay!” Wade cheered, eagerly rolling onto his side and wrapping his limbs around the offered arm like it was a tree to be climbed. “Goodnight, Wolvie.”

“G’night, Bubba.”

Did he just fucking call me Bubba?!

Wade was out like a light, the physical contact anchoring his racing thoughts enough to drift off peacefully.

That’s where you’re gonna leave it? I thought we were going to Pound Town?! THIS IS RATED E DAMMIT!

This was getting too long for a oneshot Wade. You’ll still get your trip to Fuckville don’t worry. It’s not tagged slowburn. Now go the fuck to sleep and I’ll see you next chapter.

[morphinejunkie]

Hi morph! I've been following you since i read crush the first time, I admire your talent and your way of working, so accurate and almost scientific! I will always thank you for that and I hope to read new writings from you soon.

I noted someone asked you for advice on writing mello, and now I would like to ask you for advice on writing matt, if you would like to answer! Writing matt is freer (as there is little canon information), but it is also more difficult, because of that. Did you use a different process? Did you create a spectrum for him too? Thanks for all you do ❤️

thank you so much, and sorry for the late response to this one.

here's my post about writing mello.

now writing matt is different as you mentioned because he is such an open character. you could interpret him however you'd like, based on the little information that canon has given you. there are a lot of possible interpretations to matt that will make sense - i think, contrary to mello where you constantly have to assess/compare your characterization with his motivations and goals in death note, with matt, the most important question is: does he feel real?

i found that because matt is so open, people tend to write him based on fantasy. this makes him so incredibly two-dimensional as a result, because he ends up becoming just a blank character for people to fill their desires, wishes, and projections on. i find that very often in fanfic he ends up basically just being a bland sum of the author's romantic/sexual interests, a direct reflection of the author's identity, or a blank canvas on which mello can extricate influence.

i'm not saying that's bad or not a good way to write him, but for me, i wanted matt to be a fully rendered, realized individual, independent of myself. you really have to treat matt as an OC, so a lot of this could double up as "how to create a realistic fictional character" advice.

this is what worked for me:

backstory

obviously the most important thing about how to write a character is knowing where they come from and how they became who they ended up becoming. so ask yourself the following questions:

where does matt come from? -> this answers his baseline cultural identity and temperament

what was his family life like? -> the dynamics of his family life before he was orphaned is really important in determining how you write his attachment styles and his relationships. things like his relationship with his mother, his father, siblings, wealth, stability, etc. all factor into who he is as a person

when was he orphaned? -> this answers how much of that cultural identity influences him vs. the UK

why is he the way he is now? -> aka why is he so lazy, chill, a chainsmoker, an avid video game player? with mello, canon answered this question for us: mello has a deep-rooted inferiority complex stemming from the competitive conditions of the orphanage. so why is matt so different from him?

2. get to know him OUTSIDE of mello

here's one thing that i find a lot of m2 fans forget while writing matt: he is his own person. a big mistake that i see is a lot of writers write him as a "satellite character" where his motivations, dreams, goals, thoughts, and intentions all exist in a vacuum that is all for the sake of mello. because even if he is somebody who has decided that his entire life is made to please mello (which wouldn't be ooc, though improbable given his personality canonically), he still would have had events in his life that would make him rely on mello so wholeheartedly.

i encourage writing out a character profile for matt that does not mention or reference mello at all. completely extricate mello from his personality and figure him out from there.

lastly, ask yourself: what drew him to mello in the first place? this isn't a given - mello is really not an easy person to be around, so why does matt seemingly have no problems with being with him? i think it's totally fine for matt not to know the answer to this question, and for there to be multiple answers to this question, but my point is, there should be some answers. it should make sense for matt, given the backstory that you've given him, to want to be around mello. matt was not born to love mello, despite what fanfics tend to want to believe.

3. consistently check your own biases

obviously we as writers want to write what we want to see, and again this is fine if you don't mind being indulgent as a writer, but for me personally, i wanted to keep it as objective as i could. i didn't want to create a matt that was a manifestation of myself or some sort of sexual fantasy. i found that the best way to do this was make sure there were times where i disagreed with matt or even found him a little bit personally dislikeable/repulsive - whether it be from his thoughts, emotional reactions, interests, or habits. this is of course not needed but i found it was an easy shorthand to make sure that i wasn't just creating somebody perfect.

4. find real life matts

this one's a little unorthodox, but i felt it was really useful for me in making sure my biases were checked.

when i was writing crush, i would often find users on twitter that reminded me of matt, or gave me a feeling of matt - whether it be through their typing style, their voice, their humour, or their posts - and follow them. seeing the way they interact with the world gave me a better understanding of how someone like matt would also interact with the world, especially in ways that i could never envision. i think for me, i had to come to terms with the fact that matt was not somebody i could create out of scratch based on my life experiences and the place i grew up. so the only way i could better understand him, was to find people who lived like him and acted like him and see what had made them this way.

of course this extends to even basing matt off of your family members, friends, or acquaintances: pulling inspiration from real people is often the best and most authentic way to build a realistic character.

[bibibbon]

I feel like fan discussion regarding MHA has become so boring for the past months/year or so, at least around some social media platforms (I don’t check Twitter). Criticism is the most interesting thing about MHA discussion right now.

It’s hard to have fun theorizing or speculating about the plot because the story is incredibly shallow and plot points only happen to move the story along. For other series you might think more about the deeper meaning of the story themes and symbolisms and give multiple interpretations of the same scene, but for MHA not only do they poorly attempt to spell out the plot for you but they also have too much plot convenience so that whenever somebody asks “Why did X happen in the story?” there’s no deeper reason behind it besides “Horikoshi just wanted to write it that way regardless of whether it made sense or not.”

And because Horikoshi just pulls shit out of nowhere for any reason, it ruins speculation when anything stupid can happen for any reason. It’s gotten to the point where I know readers are dreading the idea of something stupid out of nowhere happening just because the plot wills it. Some readers despise the idea of Deku ending the series Quirkless so they’re waiting in anticipation for the next chapters not because they are hyped but because they are afraid of what the author is doing to their own series. MHA is just so mid.

As someone who has been in quite a few fandoms and has seen their mangas end there's usually huge uproars and widespread criticism of the story because thats kind of what people move onto. I guess what I mean is that by the lack of content and ability to theorise what would happen fans in general move to looking back over at the story and maybe nitpicking details that the mangaka hasn't addressed. Also don't get me started on the endings because it seems like every time a mangaka ends their manga they will get criticism one way or another. Take for example the attack on titan ending that got so much backlash that isayama literally had to modify the ending by adding half a chapter and that didn't even stop some people from whining. Personally I really enjoyed the aot ending and I have almost no criticism for aot in general.

To me MHAs quite different because we can tell it's rushed and the plot points are somewhat predictable. In all honesty MHA fanfiction can sometimes be better than canon itself which says a lot in my opinion.

I have been on the MHA critical tag since December/November of last year so Iam not surprised to see more posts on that tag since the mangas writing has taken a turn for the worse due to various different factors.

In the end I practically agree with all that you said anon.

[etirabys]

It's very sweet about CS Lewis to idiotproof Paradise Lost against atheists. He didn't have to do that. He was a Christian writer in a Christian society and I assume he could have gotten away with just talking to other Christians about it and ignoring annoying people who wrongly read subversion into Milton. Instead he gives us a Christianity 101 chapter in A Preface to Paradise Lost and says, "this is the theological canon of the church, and here is how Milton hews to it again and again".

So now I think I understand Christianity. Maybe?

CS Lewis, explaining the canonical beliefs: Everything in nature is intrinsically good. Bad things happen when conscious creatures become "more interested in itself than in God", or assumes it can exist independently of God, as when Milton's Satan says that he is "self-begot".

me: Just for fun, let me enumerate the possible answers to 'who begot us?' – (1) conscious supreme being – e.g. Christian God, (2) our parents – e.g. Confucianism, (3) the self, (4) the weight of human history – humanity co-creating itself by maintaining a matrix of culture, (5) Nature – non-conscious but still revered, e.g. planet worship / I hecking love science, (6) null answer – non-conscious material processes.

Lewis: God knows in advance that some conscious entities will voluntarily make themselves bad and also knows what good use He will make of their badness. As [Milton's] angels point out, whoever tries to rebel against God produces the result opposite to his intention. At the end of the poem Adam is astonished at the power 'that all this good of evil shall produce'. This is the exact reverse of the programme Satan had envisaged in Book I, when he hoped, if God attempted any good through him, to 'pervert that end'; instead he is allowed to do all the evil he wants and finds that he has produced good. Those who will not be God's sons become His tools.

me: That's such beautiful cope! I've heard the badly-articulated versions of that Christian belief but it turns out I'm unprincipled and like it when you, Charisma Stat Lewis, say it.

me: It's also hard not to speculate that this belief is more adaptive in a world with e.g. a 50% child mortality rate.

Lewis: Also, The apple wasn't magic. THE APPLE WASN'T MAGIC. The only point of forbidding it was to instill obedience. The disobedience was so heinous precisely because obedience was so easy.

me: it was a shit test

Lewis: The Fall consisted of man's disobedience to his superior and was punished by man's loss of authority over his inferiors – chiefly over his passions and his physical organism. "Man has called for anarchy: God lets him have it." After the Fall, understanding ceased to rule and the will did not listen to understanding.

me: okay so what about the physical organism

Lewis: Man used to control his erections before the Fall

me: what

Lewis: That's right. No accidental boners. No morning wood. No dead bedroom subreddits. You can clench your fist without being angry and you can be angry without clench your fist. The will controls the fist. The sexual organs used to be like that.

me: That follows splendidly from "man was punished by the passions overruling the will" and yet I wasn't expecting that at all. Probably because I'm female? I annotated your "the will did not listen to understanding" with "we didn't have akrasia before the fall", because akrasia is a big problem for me. But being horny isn't.

me: I mean, obviously some women are really horny and causes them to act in unwise ways, and some men aren't horny. But "single men under age 25 are the most societal-problem-causing demographic" is well known, and even outside that age range, men seem to be, like, "cursed with horny" in a way that requires managing & makes them miserable on a day to day basis... so it makes sense that male interpreters would identify that with the Fall. It's conceptually congruent in a way "the Fall caused childbirth to be painful" isn't.

Lewis: Anyway, the Fall – people overcomplicated it. The apple is just an apple. It's not an allegory. The Fall consisted of Disobedience – doing what your superiors told you not to do – and resulted from Pride, which is forgetting your place. This is what the Church has always taught. Milton states it in the very first line of his poem and all his characters reiterate it from every possible point of view. Don't read false emphases into Milton! This is what he is saying: obedience to the will of God will make you happy and disobedience will make you miserable.

me: Well, obviously you know that your modern reader doesn't like this. You're pleasantly cognizant of atheist readers who are into self-governance and equality.

Lewis: The modern idea that we can choose between hierarchy and equality is not quite right. The real alternative to hierarchy is tyranny. If you will not have authority you will find yourself obeying brute force.

me: I simultaneously have a suspicious-resistant feeling and the perception that, when people in my milieu disagree with this, your view is the baseline from which we deviate minorly. Any form of functional social arrangement is going to have something that looks like authority and obedience.

Lewis: Understand this: Milton's poem belongs to a hierarchical conception of the universe where everything except God has some natural superior and everything except dead matter has some natural inferior. Superiors should rule over inferiors. When Milton protests an instance of rule (he was against the monarchy of the Stuarts) he is disagreeing that the Stuarts are superior while still thinking that hierarchy is cosmically good. The justice or injustice of any given instance of rule depends wholly on the nature of the parties, not on any social contract.

me: I have little respect for Confucianism because it strikes me as so overtly a system of thought with no internal merit or wisdom on the micro, whose only function is to make society run on the macro. (I'm sorry to say "only" there, because that's a big function.) What you describe has the same feel. This isn't a great label for it, but I'd call both Confucianism and Christian hierarchy 'biological philosophies', in that of course this is the philosophy that materially deprived apes who want both power and stability would equilibriate on: a system of subjugation and cope. The hierarchical conception itself is "understanding ceasing to rule".

Lewis: [Lewis would doubtless totally own me. But he doesn't directly address this in anything I've read by him, and I can't simulate him in enough detail to generate his response.]

[hanamiyama-basketball-club]

So I was skimming the first episode of Bravern looking for something else entirely and ended up massively overthinking this scene in the bar instead, and I made a Tumblr to massively overthink things so here we are.

Now, I feel like there's a lot of stuff in Bravern left unsaid or up to (multiple possible) interpretations, which I guess is sort of how all of media works but somehow Bravern has turned on some kind of 101 lit brain that my mathematician ass does not usually have so bear with me here. And so the narrative I'm going to present here isn't an argument really. It's just a "wouldn't it be nice". This is the story I like to imagine in this scene. I call it A Tale of Two Wingmen.

We start out with Isami and Hibiki at the bar chatting about the war games exercise. (They seem to be the only ones at the bar rather than at a table, and don't have food; I like that Hibiki at least has a flower on her drink.) It seems clear that they're friends, probably a somewhat mismatched pair since Isami is in his dress uniform and Hibiki is out of uniform.

Isami has just started talking about the other TS that charged ahead with him when who should walk in the bar but the pilot in question with his friend Ryoma (soon to be RIP):

(I can't hear the dialogue for them tbh so I'm a little confused by the subtitles - it looks in the animation like it's Smith saying he didn't drink enough, but the phrasing makes it sound like it's Ryoma saying that. Whatever. Minor point.)

And then he sees Isami and stops suddenly, dramatically enough to get Ryoma's attention.

And heads straight for Isami (seemingly without saying anything to Ryoma, lol)

Hibiki actually spots him first, or at least reacts to him first.

Smith invites himself into the conversation:

Hibiki watches him a little warily at first and seems annoyed when he starts thumping Isami on the shoulder.

(I have a fondness for this whole interaction tbh because like Smith I am an American that reckons I can get through any social situation just by being really talkative, friendly, and complaining about authority figures. And like Smith I have often totally misjudged how to befriend people now that I'm in another country. "Mildly annoying American" is apparently louder and more negative than any Brit judging by the reactions I get, and I can only imagine the American-Japanese culture clash is worse.)

But once Smith starts praising Isami (and agreeing with the argument Hibiki was making), Hibiki seems to warm up to him:

By the time Smith starts challenging Isami to a duel, she's leaning in and grinning over her cocktail.

Ryoma also seems to be watching this conversation from across the room:

Isami needles Smith in a line that definitely isn't foreshadowing at all, and Hibiki whistles which is also very cute

Smith heads out once he has the agreement to the duel, Hibiki grinning after him

Hibiki seems deeply amused by this whole situation and entertained by Smith's laser focus on Isami (and maybe a little surprised that Isami hasn't seemed to retain as much about Smith as Smith has about him)

On the way out Smith bumps fists with Ryoma, who's also left the conversation he was in.

(Yes, they did introduce themselves; no, Isami does not seem to remember this, which is very funny considering what's going to happen tomorrow.)

So what's the narrative I'm enjoying from this scene? Basically, if you imagine that both of these friends know that their main character buddy is gay, it becomes kind of adorable. (Well, it's kind of adorable anyway, but an added layer of adorable.)

Ryoma is the guy who's been hearing all evening about this cool Japanese pilot and the way he maneuvered his TS even though they say they're not as good as the M2s, and he seems kinda shy but do you think he'd maybe go for a duel? You know, first you fight, then you team up? So he's maybe a little surprised when Smith wanders off mid-conversation, but he knows what's up. Once he hears that his bro has successfully secured the not-a-date he was hoping for, he's got to give him a celebratory fistbump.

Hibiki clearly knows Isami well, and I'm guessing that she has never known him to actually date anyone. Possibly he's never explicitly come out to her; I doubt he'd be generally out (even if that was a good idea in any military, which I imagine is rare), or that he'd talk about his personal life to most people even if he was straight. But I imagine that Hibiki teases him in a friendly way about it and, as someone who's familiar with Isami's impenetrable shell, is kind of interested to see what kind of romantic partner could possibly get through that. Kind of obnoxious but well meaning hunk shows up out of nowhere clearly hung up on Isami? This is either a love story in the making or something to tease Isami about at the bar for years, and either way she is in.

Or maybe she just thinks it's funny that he has a loud American obsessed with him now. That was my read at first, and is probably the most likely.

But if you imagine an Isami who is gay, then it's nice to think that he has somebody that he can, if not talk to about it directly, at least knows. (Obviously bisexuality exists and the above still more or less applies if he's bi rather than gay, but I personally imagine Isami as the type who has gone well I'm only interested in men so conveniently I can just put all of romance in the box of Sounds Hard, Not Doing That.)

Also considering how she reacts to Honoka I think Hibiki just thinks it's funny if anyone has a crush on Isami which is a fun relationship for a male and female best friend to have.

[queen-dahlia]

𝐆𝐢𝐥𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐭 𝐯𝐨𝐧 𝐎𝐛𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐧

𝗠𝗮𝗶𝗻 𝗥𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗲 𝗥𝗼𝗺𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗰 𝗘𝗽𝗶𝗹𝗼𝗴𝘂𝗲 + 𝗟𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿

🔞🔞🔞

Note: Translation is not 100% accurate. Expect grammatical errors.

// : alternate translation | ⫘⫘ : flashback

It has been a while since I started living in Obsidian, but there is still a lot I don't know about Gilbert.

For example—

Gilbert: "… And then, what did you just say?"

Obsidian nobleman: "I'm... sorry... sir."

Gilbert: "Forget the apology, just say it again… okay?"

(... I didn't know...)

A bullet pierces the wall of the castle.

It passed by a nobleman who had been summoned by Gilbert to make a report,

It was emitted from the pitch-black cane that he usually carried around.

(I knew it wasn't a normal cane because it was strangely heavy, but I didn't realize it was a gun.)

The end of the cane was a cap, and when the cap was removed, the barrel of the gun was revealed.

The handle has been replaced by a trigger, and you can put your finger on it.

Gilbert: "You've got to tell me something soon, I'm not that patient myself."

Obsidian nobleman: "… We have been… illegally exploiting… the collection of… taxes."

Gilbert: "I agree. That's what the report says."

Gilbert: "It looks like you were collecting three times the normal tax and putting a lot of money in your pocket."

Gilbert: "Did you think I couldn't see you just because you're in a rural area? Ahaha, you're so naïve."

Gilbert: "The spies I raised are scattered everywhere. We are constantly doing spot checks."

Gilbert: "You let your guard down, didn't you?"

Obsidian nobleman: "I'm sorry... I'm sorry."

(Obsidian is a land of deceit and corruption... The center seems to be mitigating that, but not the provinces.)

Not all of the vast Obsidian territory is healthy, according to Gilbert,

The further away from the center, the deeper the corruption remains.

(… Gilbert had arranged for weapons to reach all exploited people in anticipation of his death.)

(But now that the Emperor is alive, there is no need for that yet.)

(… This is how Gilbert had to become a "Trampling Beast".)

Gilbert: "That's just it, little rabbit. What's the one thing I hate the most?"

Suddenly, I am asked to speak, and I straighten my back.

Emma: "… Lies."   //   "… A liar."

Gilbert: "Yes, I hate liars. I'll tell you how much I hate it—"

Gilbert changed his bloodlust into a smile, putting strength at his fingertips…

Emma: "Please wait!"

Without hesitation, I grabbed his hand tightly.

Gilbert: "What's wrong?"

Emma: "… The Earl seems to be very sorry for what he did."

Emma: "Isn't it an act of excessive authority to even take a life?"

Gilbert: "You're so naïve. This kind of person who can only think of himself will do the same thing over and over again."

Emma: "Then why not punish him in a way that he won't repeat it?"

Emma: "It's too short-sighted to take life for anything."

Gilbert: "Hmmm...?"

Gilbert's red eye does not smile, and I gasp.

The Emperor has no mercy on me, even though I am his lover.

(I feel like I'm being tested every time.)

Gilbert: "Then will you take responsibility for his rectification?"

Emma: "Rectification…?"

Gilbert: "I'll throw him in jail for a while, and if you reform him during that time, I'll consider letting him live."

Emma: "Please do so!"

(… Maybe he was planning to do this all along.)

Otherwise, he would not have dared to have me, who hates killing people, in his presence.

Lately, Gilbert has been trying to trust me to do things my way.

It may be a convenient interpretation, though,

As a matter of fact, I was glad to see that people were listening to me more than before.

Gilbert: "… I don't like it."

For some reason, however, his neat face is distorted into a grim expression.

Emma: "Gilbert, you suggested..."

Gilbert: "Yes, but I can't believe you would willingly take the opportunity to talk to a man other than me."

Emma: "… I can't talk to anyone when you say that."

Gilbert: "That's a good idea."   //   "That would be nice."

(Not good, not good...)

Emma: "Gilbert, you are different from the rest of them."

Gilbert: "I can say as many words as I want."

(... It's getting troublesome again.)

Gilbert approaches me while ignoring the frightened and trembling nobleman.

He was no longer interested in the Earl, and his target was narrowed down to me.

He lifts his chin and gives me a big smile.

Now that we have been together longer, I know what he wants from me.

(... I don't have a choice. People's lives are at stake.)

I close my eyes in the shame of being in front of others and kiss his cold lips.

Emma: "… I only do this to you, Gilbert."

Gilbert: "Hehe… Well done."

(Ah... the bloodlust has disappeared.)

Gilbert, smiling with satisfaction, kisses me back as well.

He then put his gun away in his cane in front of the nobleman who had been left behind.

Gilbert: "Good for you. She saved your life."

Obsidian nobleman: "… Thank you very much. Thank you."

Gilbert: "Yeah, yeah. Don't ever forget that gratitude, okay? Your life is in the palm of her hand."

(Sometimes… I wonder if Gilbert is threatening me to win over my allies.)

(… You may not like me, but you don't let me be…)

The kind of malice had changed from when I was at Rhodolite, and that was somewhat sad.

Gilbert: "Take him away."

Roderich: "… Yes sir."

Roderich, who had been waiting by the wall, drags the staggering man, gasping for breath, out of the room.

The tension that had dominated the room finally dissipated into a mist.

Emma: "… You can't be that mean."

Gilbert: "It's love, love."

(I feel like I should protest...)

Whenever I see Gilbert looking so happy with just one kiss, I can't say anything.

(... I'm pretty much the same way.)

I cleared my throat and blew away the embarrassment that was clearly out of place.

Emma: "And by the way, that cane... it was a gun."

Gilbert: "Do you want me to make one for you?"

Emma: "No, I don't need it."

Gilbert: "Eh, you're cold..."

Emma: "I don't need a gun, but... like that cane, there's still a lot I don't know about you."

(… And the best example of that is, of course—)

I stare at Gilbert's face.

Although I have lived at Obsidian for a fair amount of time now, I have yet to see beneath Gilbert's eye patch even once.

I wonder if there is a scar under the black eye patch or if there is another reason.

I had avoided asking until now, thinking it might be a topic I shouldn't touch, but Gilbert seemed to see right through my thoughts.

Gilbert: "… Are you curious?"

Emma: "Very..."

Gilbert: "I can tell you."

Emma: "Are you sure?"

(That’s surprisingly easy—)

Gilbert: "However..."

Gilbert hugs my waist and puts a bewitching smile on his lips.

Gilbert: "At night, on the bed...?"

══════════════════

After Walter diagnosed that Gilbert was doing well after the surgery, he began to bring me into his bed more often.

At first it was just light kissing and sleeping, but then the clouds began to lift...

Gilbert: "Well, what do you do when you get in bed?"

Now there are more days when a kiss is not enough to get him to forgive me.

Emma: "… I'm embarrassed every time."   //   "… It's embarrassing every time."

Gilbert: "I just want to see you embarrassed."

(Really, I've never seen anyone as bad as Gilbert.)

Smiling, Gilbert sits on the bed and looks at me.

I wanted to cry at the look that was not going to be turned away at all, but I emptied my mind and dropped my negligee on the floor.

Gilbert shakes his head as I am reduced to a thin piece of cloth.

Apparently, I have to take it all off to get under the eye patch.

Gilbert: "Take it off, or I will take it off anyway, right?"

Emma: "… It might be less embarrassing if you took off your clothes."

Gilbert: "I doubt that."

(…?)

I was beckoned to come closer, and Gilbert stood up and mercilessly stripped me down to my underwear.

(Uwaaa!)

I quickly crouch down on the ground to cover my body.

My whole body was burning because I was not prepared for it.

Gilbert: "You're embarrassed when I undress you."

Emma: "… It was so sudden…"

Emma: "Anyway… Why am I always the only one naked—"

Gilbert: "What, you want to see me naked? No, Little Bunny, you're shameless."

Emma: "Which one of us is the shameless one!?"

Gilbert: "Ahaha, I'm only going to make love to you, okay?"   //   "Ahaha, I'm only naughty for you, okay?"

(… I am not pleased. This is exactly what Gilbert wants.)

Laughing, Gilbert picks me up and rolls me onto the bed.

When I got down on my back and hid my body, his tongue crawled on my back.

Gilbert: "Turn around, Emma."   //   "Look at me, Emma."

Emma: "… I don't want to."

Gilbert: "Then I won't take off my eye patch either."

Emma: ". . . . . ."

Gilbert: "In the first place, if you look that way, you won't be able to see me, right?"

(It's all about the end result…)

I was kissed repeatedly on the back and occasionally bitten sweetly.

The frustration gradually outweighs the embarrassment of being naked.

(… I want to see what's under his eye patch…)

(I want to know the Gilbert I don't know.)

When the rain of kisses stopped, I made up my mind and turned my body up...

Gilbert: "Ah, finally our eyes met."

Emma: ". . . . . ."

He has a beautiful ultramarine eye that I cannot help but admire.

Emma: "… It’s blue…"

Gilbert: "I was born with it. It's my complex."

Emma: "Why? It's so beautiful."

(Red and blue... I've never seen one with such a distinctly different eye color.)

Unlike red, the color of blood that seems to destroy everything, blue is gentle and full of affection.

My impression of Gilbert changed drastically from the right side to the left side.

Emma: "I love it."

Gilbert: "You may love it, but I will never love it."

(If you're going to go that far, there's something traumatic—)

Gilbert: "I mean, don't I look like a baby?"   //   "I mean, don't I look like a child?"   //   "I mean, don't I have a baby face?"

Emma: "…… Huh?"

I just couldn't keep my voice straight.

Emma: "It kind of… makes you look younger when you have both eyes showing…"

Gilbert: "I feel like it's more appropriate for my age if I hide it with an eye patch. I don't know."

(Oh, the reason is more than I thought.)

(… It’s sincere...)

I instantly turned my face away, but it was too late.

Gilbert: "… You smiled just now."

Emma: "N-No… I'm not smiling."

Gilbert: "I hate lies."

Emma: "Ah... nnh—"

Gilbert puts his fingers in between my legs with a look that makes me wonder if he's disapproving or amused.

Emma: "Don't…"

The cold fingers caressed my sensitive spot, and gradually, an obscene sound of whimpering and moaning assaulted my eardrums.

Gilbert: "Oh, I haven't even touched you that much yet—"

Emma: "… I-Is that really the only reason… for the eye patch?"

I forcibly interrupt the words that incite shame and then go further.   //   I forcibly interrupt the words that incite shame, and he goes more deeply. **

Gilbert: "No? There are other reasons, but you don't need to know them."

Gilbert: "Because it's no longer necessary."

(What does that mean—…)

Emma: "Ahh… mmm…"

Fingers penetrate deep into my body, and my hips lift.

I didn't have the time to ask the questions that came to mind.

Gilbert: "Hehe… Since I told you a secret, I deserve something in return."

Emma: "… W-wait—"

Gilbert: "Hey, you're not going to try to run away from me, are you...?"

I tried to escape, but Gilbert was expertly holding me down,

Without a moment to catch my breath, I had no choice but to take the stimulation given to me in stride.

(… I feel like… I'm being trampled…)

Eventually, his cold fingers and the heat in my body assimilate and become one.

No matter how many times I shuddered, he wouldn't let go, and the feeling of wetness was uncomfortable.

(A heat... in my belly...)

When I grabbed the black shirt, saying I couldn't do it anymore, the eyes of different colors responded in different ways.

It is really strange because the red one looks mean and the blue one looks like it is smiling gently.

Gilbert: "By the way, there's a lot more I haven't told you."

Gilbert: "I'm actually writing a book…"

(… Huh.)

Gilbert: "I've been drawing designs for the dress I gave you…"

(Eh…)

Gilbert: "Oh, and then..."

Gilbert suddenly remembers and pulls something shiny out of his pants pocket.

It was an insignia of King Chevalier with a white tiger emblem.

(When did you...!)

Gilbert: "This is terrible."

Gilbert: "I can't believe you have a man like me and yet you have something that belongs to another man."

Emma: "It doesn't mean anything strange!?"

Gilbert: "For you, maybe."

Gilbert: "But it's Chevalier's way of harassing me."

Emma: "I don't think—"

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

Chevalier: "There will come a day when you can use it if you want to establish a friendly relationship with Rhodolite."

Chevalier: "… Besides, I want to get revenge for being pushed around by Eyepatch, too."

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

(… It might have, it might happen.)

Gilbert: "I'm jealous."

The moment the villain turned up the corner of his mouth with a smirk, my body was penetrated all of a sudden.

Emma: "Ahh—ahhhh…"

Without a shred of gentleness, he roughly gouges the heat out of my stomach.   //   Without a shred of gentleness, he roughly and violently hollows out the heat in my stomach.

My vision flashed, and my breathing became violently erratic.

Gilbert: "All you need to worry about is me…"

Gilbert: "The mere sight of another man makes me want to kill him, okay?"

(… It's more of… a threat than jealousy…)

Gilbert's "like" is dominance.   //   Gilbert's "love" is dominance.

Domination was an expression of his affection, and perhaps that has not changed.

(But... he doesn't take away my freedom, and he respects my heart.)

The occasional contradiction between what he says and what he does is evidence that he is wavering between beast and man.

My nails dig into Gilbert's perilously unstable back.   //   I dig my nails dangerously into Gilbert's back. **

My body heaved more, and I felt a tingle in the pit of my stomach.

(Gilbert now has… a human side as well…)

(So, I—...)

I let go of the violent pleasure with my breath, so much so that it almost took away my sense of consciousness.

Emma: "Just a little bit more... Please trust me."

Emma: "… I will never, ever betray you."

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

Emma: "… What is this "betrayal" you speak of, Prince Gilbert?"

Gilbert: "Well…"

Gilbert: "That you are no longer you."

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

(I'm… staying me.)

No matter how many more secrets about Gilbert I learn in the future,

I know that his underlying wounded heart is filled with love for others.

Gilbert: "I see..."

A pair of flickering eyes covered my vision, and my lips were sealed.

His lips, which are usually cold, are now so hot that they almost burn.

Gilbert: "I'm troublesome, difficult, and tough, but do your best...?"

The reply was charmingly lost.

(—I wonder if he's aware of that.)

Just as there are things I don't know about Gilbert, there are things he seems unaware of as well.

(Someday, I'd love to teach you.)   //   (Someday, I want to tell you.)

(Why I love you, even if you're mean, even if you threaten me…)

Gilbert, who does evil things to me without seeming to take offense...

He always had sincere love in his eyes——

𝗟𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿:

To my beloved Little Bunny   //   To my darling little rabbit

I thought it was a good idea to lock up the little rabbit, but I guess not. I need to think of other ways to love you… If you have any good ideas, could you write me a letter? I will seek a compromise with your input as well.

Come to think of it, there's been a lot of talk about letters since I came to Obsidian. Before, I couldn't write anything without a question from you, but now it seems that's not the case. I have so much I want to tell you and share with you. I wonder... I haven't wanted to write a letter to someone like this since I was a child.

I used to love to write letters. Since I am frail and have spent most of my life in bed, letters are the only thing that connect me to the outside world. There were also a few friends who I never met face-to-face, only through our exchange of letters… My brothers, mother, and friends all taught me so much, and it was something I looked forward to every day.

I stopped doing any of those things when I became a beast… Hey, Emma. Write to me when you have time again. I'll keep writing to you too.

Oh, and by the way, you have no right to refuse this. Write a letter, or be forced to write one. You have a choice between those two options...?

Gilbert von Obsidian