#when buffy figures out she can kiss girls......that will be a day to remember

[lesbianmarrow]

okay kind of crazy how i just read a comic by a lesbian about the lesbian experience of being in a relationship with a man where the man is like ummm something is off here and it doesnt seem like you actually like me that much? and the lesbian gets angry because she feels like shes given so much of herself to him and sacrificed so much of her own needs for him and hes not even grateful. and THEN i put on an episode of buffy where the characters talk about how that exact thing happened between riley and buffy. more evidence that spike shouldve been a lesbian‼️

[butmakeitgayblog]

Your confussion about Callisto did got me curious, who was your gay awakening character?

Could it be Julia Roberts based on your fics or Buffy based on your age (you are a 00’s teen right?) but maybe I’m wrong? idk

Btw she was a character on Xena indeed a blond villain if I recall

I don't 100% remember who my gay awakening was because I don't think I had one? It wasn't so much that one day I realized, "omg she's so hot, this changes everything! I get it now!" It was more like my dumbass realized that not every girl thought or felt the same way I did when I looked at girls, ykwim? Now that moment is burned in my brain like a fuckin lightning bolt 🥴.

I had been doing my math homework and had MTV or Vh1, one of the two, on in the background and it had this little afterschool special type thing on about a high school just for gay teens who had been bullied so badly they had to leave their own schools. And I remember this red headed girl came on and the interviewer asked her how she knew she was a lesbian at ~such a young age~ (barf) and she just said (paraphrasing obvs cuz it's been over 20 years), "Because I don't care what boys think, I care what girls think. I don't want boys to look at me and have crushes on me, I want girls to. I want them to feel what I feel when I look at them. I get excited when girls talk or laugh and when they smile at me. I want to hold girls hands and feel them against me, and smell their perfumes and kiss them on the lips after school. And I just want boys to leave me the fuck alone. Once I realized that wasn't how most other girls felt, it was pretty easy to figure out who I was."

And when I tell you?? A bitch? Started? Sobbing?? Over her math homework??? Because it was just like everything suddenly made sense. Like oh my fucking god. Oh my god. Oh my god 😑. That's it. I literally froze halfway through a problem and just stared at the screen and started sobbing because it felt like a truck had hit me. I just thought every girl felt that way, but,,,, apparently they don't??!

So it was never really like a "gay awakening character" or anything like that, I just realized my stupid ass had been having crushes on women all along without realizing that was what it was. But if I had to pick one, the first I can blatantly remember being entirely too attached to was Ms. Honey. I mean damn 👀

[herinsectreflection]

Faith, Buffy, Dreams, and Secret Kisses

This is one of my favourite scenes in the series. Partially because it’s just my personal jam - I admit that I am Fuffy trash, and I have a real love for dream sequences. Buffy had great dream sequences, but this is where they take a step up. It’s a precursor to Restless in this regard and others. It feels weighty and meaningful, but also a little off and incongruent with itself, in that way that only dreams are. Lines are exchanged that don’t quite follow as direct responses to each other, clashing in interesting ways. It’s packed with foreshadowing, metaphor, and other juicy things. And beyond that, it’s a conclusion to Buffy’s entire arc this season about dealing with her shadow self, and it leads to what I think is the single most romantic moment in the series. I want to talk about this scene and unpack some of what I think it’s saying.

First of all, let’s talk about the setting. We’re in Faith’s apartment, bought for her by the Mayor. Essentially, the villain’s lair, where the two Big Bads plotted their evil plans against our hero. But it’s also a set where we saw most of the bonding and semi-familial love between Faith and the Mayor. A place of both evil and love. And for Buffy, a place of trauma. This is where she makes the decision and takes the action to kill another human. I don’t think she was unjustified in doing so, but it’s still an immensely traumatic act for her, and I think she loses a little part of herself when she does it. The location is very much a reflection of Faith, and Buffy’s relationship to her. I don’t think Buffy loves Faith romantically at this point, but I think she cares about her, and remains concerned about her, and I think it’s fair to call that a kind of love. Faith is also evil, a figure of betrayal but also temptation to the “dark side”. And she is also a figure of trauma, clear deep-seated trauma that she fails to resolve, and just gets worse over the course of the season. Buffy is essentially inside her own relationship to Faith, inside a stadium of sin, trauma, love, and shattered glass. Faith looks out of the broken window that they fought through, and we are reminded that their relationship too is broken, unrepaired, littered with the detritus of conflict. There’s no going back from this - even in dreams that window remains broken, and their relationship will always have this damage.

The props too are an interesting choice. TPN’s video on Graduation Day pointed out the painting of a giant snake with a man’s head on the wall. More conflicting feelings here - the Mayor is Faith’s closest connection to humanity and love right now, and also the reason for her betrayal of Buffy. Her redemption and damnation. We also see boxes of various things piled up - including the crossbow that Faith stole in Bad Girls. The image of packing up a room into boxes makes me think of moving away as a student. We must remember that Buffy is graduating today, on the verge of packing her life away and taking it somewhere else, and this reminds us of that.

The first thing of real substance we see is the cat, which jumps up on Faith’s bed. This is one of the aspects of this dream in direct conversation with Restless, where a cat symbolises the Slayer - a specifically feminine, solitary predator that stalks the night. In Restless, we cut to Miss Kitty stalking the camera from shots of the First slayer stalking Willow. Here though, the intercut images are between the cat and Faith, lying bruised and helpless in a hospital. The cat (and the Slayer) is, as far as Buffy is concerned, not a danger but a creature in need of help.

Buffy: "Who's going to look after him?" Faith: "It's a she. And aren't these things supposed to take care of themselves?"

They’re very clearly talking about their respective approaches to slaying, and to life in general. Buffy tries to encourage ties to humanity, telling Faith back in Revelations that she is on Faith’s side. Faith retorts that she alone is on her side, and she repeats that sentiment here. But Buffy is obviously proved right - Faith is lying almost dead because she rejected all help and care.

Buffy: "A higher power guiding us?" Faith: "I'm pretty sure that's not what I meant."

If the cat is the Slayer in this conversation, then the “higher power guiding us” could refer to the Watchers. It makes sense that Buffy delivers this line with a little wry smile, given that she’s just resigned herself from the Council. This allows a little bit of ambiguity in their debate - Buffy has taken on a little bit of Faith’s advice in emancipating herself and so making herself as the Slayer more self-reliant. The show agrees that that too is the right move. A little independence is good and healthy. What Faith means when she talks about “taking care of herself” is not self-reliance or independence, but emotional hardness and self-marooning to avoid hurt. This is something that Buffy will continue to struggle with for the rest of the series. Faith is kind of right when she states that the Slayer is alone and must take care of herself, and it’s up to Buffy to find a healthy way of dealing with that.

"Oh yeah. Miles to go - Little Miss Muffet counting down from 7-3-0.”

The scene shifts a little, and we get some foreshadowing for Dawn (Little Miss Muffet), and for Buffy’s death (730 days from now). This is done with the the lighting too, as Faith faces the camera, and the light of the dawn hits her face, in a shot extremely similar to the end of The Gift.

Interestingly, Faith is repeatedly used in this way. In This Year’s Girl, Faith talks about “little sis coming” as she and Buffy make the bed in her first dream. In Restless, that scene gets a callback (”Faith and I just made that bed”), in a scene that ends with the most anvilicious foreshadowing (”Be back before dawn”), as well as a callback to the 7-3-0 line (”Oh, that clock’s all wrong”). In Graduation Day, Faith refers to Buffy as being “dressed up in big sister’s clothes”, however to me Faith has always felt more as being the “little sister” in this relationship. She looks up to Buffy yet is also deeply jealous of her. She wants to be Buffy, to have her friends, her life, the love of her mother. She’s kind of a precursor to Dawn in this respect, so it makes sense that she’s a prophet for her coming.

Slayers having prophetic dreams is well-established, so it makes sense that a dream shared by two slayers would allow them to prophesise a little further ahead in time. Faith hints at this, remarking "Sorry, it's my head. A lot of new stuff.". You have to wonder what other “new stuff” Faith is becoming aware of. Perhaps a new perspective on everything Buffy’s been saying all season. Sharing a mind temporarily is often helpful in seeing another’s point of view. Faith does seem unusually thoughtful as she looks out of the broken window and remarks "They are never going to fix this, are they?".

This is perhaps my favourite line in the scene. It’s a slight mislead, as it comes right as we get a flash of the cat-as-Faith in the foreground. So we assume it’s a reference to her own injuries, which she is expected to never recover from.

But the Faith that’s talking isn’t looking at her own body. She’s looking at the broken window. The symbol for her broken relationship with Buffy. She has become us, the audience, looking at Buffy and Faith and saying “boy, those crazy kids really are never going to work it out, are they?”. It’s true for Faith, it’s true for Faith&Buffy, and it’s true for Buffy herself. When that knife entered Faith’s gut, all three were irrevocably changed forever. You can never put back the life you had before after it’s broken like that. All you can do is take what you can work with, and try to make something new.

Buffy: "What about you?" Faith: "Scar tissue. It fades. It all fades." Buffy confirms that the previous line was not about Faith specifically by asking “what about you”, in a lovely expression of concern. After everything, Buffy does still care about Faith. Faith’s reply of “scar tissue” is an obvious reference to the literal wound she is now carrying (emphasised by the shot of the knife that Buffy sees afterwards), but it’s interesting that she gestures to her face when she says this. It feels like a reference to her entire self. If we accept Faith as Buffy’s shadow self, then “scar tissue” is an accurate description of her. As Buffy herself says, Faith is who she could be if her life was worse (or, perhaps, who she would be if she allowed the tragedies of her life to rule her). She is the part of Buffy’s unconscious self that is revealed after receiving violence. She is the physical proof of trauma. The self that remains after pain. 

Buffy: “Is this your mind or mine?” Again, hitting that note of symbiosis; emphasising how inextricably tied these two characters are. The lines between their psyches are blurred to the point of no longer existing. This is such an intimate moment, almost sexual, with Buffy and Faith unable to tell where their own mind ends and another begins. Imagine the intimacy of that - entering another’s mental space and allowing them into yours, so wholly that they become one and the same. It becomes a mutual recognition of unity and shared pain, and an affirmation of the eternal divisions between them.

I love the ambiguity of the “human weakness” line too. One way we are invited to read it is that Faith is doing a heel-face turn, and intentionally giving Buffy the means to defeat the Mayor. But we’re not allowed anything that easy, to wash away Faith’s sins with a quick redemption before the climax. Faith has miles to go before she can achieve that. It’s just as likely that Faith is talking about herself, and the human weakness that led her down a dark path, or that Buffy is talking about Faith through the Faith in her head, or Buffy is just working it out on her own, etc, etc. This is the information that saves the world, and I like that it remains an unknown. A permanent “maybe”, just as Buffy and Faith’s relationship is. 

Buffy: "How are you going to fit all this stuff?" Faith: "Not gonna. It's yours." Buffy: "I can't use all of this!" Faith: "Just take what you need. You're ready?"

As the scene reaches its climax, we see the most obvious recitation of the season’s themes. S3 is about Buffy coming into conflict with her own shadow self, and here the show tells us how she does that - by taking what she needs. I mentioned earlier that we saw the crossbow from Bad Girls, from the “want/take/have” scene. Here, Faith is telling her the same thing, but in a more healthy way. She cannot just hedonistically consume everything like a crazed id-monster, but she also cannot deny herself things that she needs. 

Most importantly, the “stuff” they are referring to is Faith’s, but as Faith says, it’s also Buffy’s. Everything that Faith is, Buffy is too, because she is her shadow self. Buffy must recognise this, accept it, and incorporate the shadow self into her own identity. She cannot be consumed by the shadow self and simply become Faith, allowing her shadow to consume her conscious personality (”how are you going to fit all this stuff?”). Instead she must recognise her dark mirror, and take the healthy parts, and integrate them into herself as an individual (”take what you need”).

It is at this point of healing and merging between Buffy’s self and shadow self that Faith reaches out, almost touches her in an action that feels so tender, and Buffy becomes conscious. She literally becomes her conscious self by making peace with her dream (unconscious self). She stands up, and walks over to Faith’s bed. This is the moment that their relationship all season has been leading to. She leans over, and places a kiss on her forehead.

This kiss is everything. It’s an act of thanks, as Buffy realises Faith may have given her what she needs to save the day (at the cost of Faith’s one familial figure). It is an act of service, as Buffy literally gives Faith the kiss she asked for when they started to fight in Graduation Day. It could also be an act of forgiveness. We know from I Only Have Eyes For You that forgiveness, Buffy learns, is done not because somebody deserves it, but because they need it. Faith at this point probably does not deserve it, does not want forgiveness (she wants to be punished), nor can she recognise it in her current state, but Buffy gives it anyway, adding another layer of heartbreak. It is given not for any purpose, but for its own sake.

Above all though, this is an act of recognition. We must consider the previous forehead-kiss that these two shared, back in Enemies, and Faith’s words directly before: “What are you gonna do, B, kill me? You become me. You're not ready for that, yet.” And in Graduation Day, just after Buffy stabs her: “You did it. You killed me.” And her words in the dream, just a few seconds ago: “You're ready?"

Now I don’t think that Buffy stabbing Faith to save Angel is morally equivalent to Faith voluntarily killing people to help an evil guy become a big snake. I don’t think the show wants us to think that either. But the line is firmly blurred. Angel says in Consequences that the act of taking a life will change Faith irrevocably, and Faith agrees. She sees herself as tainted from that point on, and if Buffy took her life, she would be tainted too. And though it’s understandable and morally defensible, there’s no doubt that a part of Buffy - her innocence - dies on that balcony when she sticks that knife in. That act is forever. The choice to do violence is permanent. 

So when Faith says “you killed me”, she is saying “you have become me”. She identifies a common nature in them. And when Buffy kisses her, returning it in the exact same way as when Faith first said those words, she is saying “I know”. She recognises and responds to Faith’s mirror by holding up one of her own. She matches similarity with similarity. She is finally “ready” to assimilate her shadow self, and does it by telling her shadow self that she sees her, and that she was right. 

The beautiful part of all this is that it is silent. Faith would’ve been aware of their unification in the dreamscape, since it was happening in both of their heads, but she has no way of knowing about this. I wonder if Buffy would ever tell her. I doubt it. This is the core of the Faith/Buffy tragedy. This is why I find this relationship so compelling. Buffy performs this act of recognition and devotion entirely in secret. It is a stolen kiss and a private confession. A whisper made to a sleeping lover. A letter written, sealed, stamped, and set on fire. It is an act of love and tenderness made entirely for its own sake, without witness or reward. 

This is the single most romantic moment of the show for me. In this show that in many ways about how when nothing you do matters, all that matters is what you do, what could be more romantic than this gentle kiss that changes nothing against this aching hole of violence and betrayal between them, but exists anyway, just because Buffy felt it needed to be done. It’s a silent moment that nobody but Buffy and us are privy to. Neither Faith nor the rest of the world will ever know it happened, but I know I for one will never forget.

[all-my-fandom-obsessions]

So I figured I should make a list of my fandoms so here are the shows I can always talk about:

- Sherlock

- SPN

- MUG

- FMA:B

- B99

And here are the ships I enjoy from other tv shows (Please note I do NOT love them all equally but the list is NOT in order) :

- Jackie & Hyde

* Coliver

- Malex

- Malec

* Delena

* Chuck & Blair

- Naley

- Haleb

- Mondler

- Tarlos

* Jaspenor

- Nick & Jess

- Lorelai & Luke

- Mary & Francis

- Bughead

- Buffy & Spike

- Olicity

- Piper & Leo

- Phryne & Jack

* - Im not sure I really ship them but I do enjoy the ship (some of them are toxic though so I pretend some of the scenes never happened)

Other tv shows I can talk about:

- OUAT

- Will & Grace

- Good Omens

- the Sandman

- iZombie

- New Amsterdam

- Merlin

- Scorpion

- The Good Place

- Dr House

- Elementary

- Charmed

- Beauty and the Beast

- Friends

- Heart of Dixie

- White Collar

- Suits

- Perception

- Dash & Lily

- Lucifer

- OMITB

- Comon Law

- Houdini & Doyle

- Disenchantment

All the dramas I can talk about:

- My girl

- Walk info your Memory

- Unforgettable love

- My demon

- Tiger and rose

- Forget you remember love (although most of the characters annoy me so much I could rant forever)

- Only for love

- MUG

- AMA

- Eternal love

- My little happiness

- Well-dominanted love (that he figured out in like five seconds that she made a mistake on purpose, that he doubled her salary twice in two days, how easily he knew she wasn’t lying, the finger pointing thing, I loved the best friend… and then it got boring)

- My gf is an alien (the whole make hormone is a drug and the thing she dropped makes her smell his chest thing was ridiculous but I liked when they grabbed his legs and made a scene, but his kind and helps her anyway, also her friendship with his brother - they have the same energy and I’m living for it, and that he saw her stop time and use telekinesis and he was just like “well, I know you’re hiding in here”, him being protective older brother and how quickly he cared about her and was always worried, also with was the “dolls kissing” scene, how quickly he chose making sure she’s not hurt over an important meeting)

- My love enlighten me (disappointing, I liked the will you marry me and registry, him calling her a cat, but they have not resolved their issues or talked it out so it would just repeat itself, some misunderstandings never been cleared, and the way they get back together feels weird and sztuczne)(but most of the time I liked the best friend)

- Lucky’s First Love

- Cute programmer

…

T. B. C.

[927roses-and-stuff]

Saw a reblog of yours and now I want your headcanons on gay Piper McLean, if you have them

Gay Piper McLean headcanons huh 👀👀

Mwahaha I have a lot and since this is my second time drafting this atm i'm going to cry if Tumblr fucks up on me

!!!!HOO AND TOA SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!

Piper's gay awakening was probably Thalia but she definitely had a lot of unrealized celebrity crushes in the past

Piper isn't into fashion but if she had to choose, it would be Kristen Stewart, specifically this hairstyle:

Piper's pronouns are she/they

Piper's favourite queer artists are King Princess and Janelle Monae

Not Piper, but Tristan McLean is a raging bisexual that does drag shows on the side

Piper and Shel have matching industrial piercings like this:

Piper and Shel go to Pride every year on a motorcycle with as many pride flags as they can handle streaming behind them

Piper relates to Catra the most and you already know season four made her cry a lot

Piper also like Raya and the Last Dragon and she definitely wishes Disney got the balls to do a Rayaari kiss

maybe im projecting a little bit

Okay serious maybe controversial headcanon time so Jason/Piper fans, feel free to skip

Piper suffered a serious case of compulsive heterosexuality thanks to Hera and Aphrodite. While Jason was one of her best friends, Piper didn't like him the same way he liked her or the same way she now likes Shel. She felt obligated to stay in a relationship she remembered (even though she knew it was the Mist) and felt obligated to have a boyfriend because of her mom

Like Jason and Piper were a cute ship, but it definitely wasn't the healthiest of ships. Maybe it was just how I read it, but Piper spent most of their relationship being insecure about the status of their relationship or trying to justify its existence. Like there were definitely cute moments, but most of those I read from Jason's POV

Basically they both deserved better for a whole bunch of reasons

Jason wholeheartedly supports Piper and her sexuality btw (even if it stings a little bit being told your ex might never have been totally attracted to you). He even attends with Piper and Shel to their first Pride after their break up

Piper hates hates hates the words f*g and d*ke because it's what bullies used to call her at school and even when she didn't know what it meant, it still leaves a sour taste in her mouth. She can't even tolerate other queer people saying it

Piper never wanted to stay in the closet for long because it felt like her entire life was spent locking parts of herself away so the moment she realized she was gay she just went with it because fuck everyone else, her mother was the goddess of love- she knew what she was doing

Anyways, back to the fun headcanons

The Aphrodite Cabin has a set of albums where they collect pictures of cute celebrities. When Piper came out, most of the Aphrodite cabin crowded her with these albums, trying to figure out her type

Technically, Piper didn't come out; she just entered the cabin one day blasting to Girl in Red

Piper didn't officially come out to Tristan, she just brought Shel over and introduced her as her girlfriend

Piper started a GSA (Gender Sexuality Alliance) club at camp because apparently the other children of the love goddess didn't think of that before

Piper first experimented with girls a month after she and Jason broke up. She told Jason about her attraction to girls while they were dating though and identified as bisexual during Heroes of Olympus

"be gay do crime" is totally her life motto like come on

I have more but this is the third dam time I had to type this out so here's Piper Mclean's celebrity crush list

Buffy Sainte-Marie

Kristen Stewart

Winona Ryder

Hayley Kiyoko as Stevie from Wizards of Waverly Place

Princess Nokia

Billie Eilish

Asia Jackson

Lyrica Onako

Letitia Wright- specifically as Shuri

She'd probably like a few blonde celebrities but i don't really know who she would like (aside from like Captain Marvel) so I didn't bother finding them

And that's pretty much most of my headcanons! Thank you for the ask and I hope you enjoyed looking through them 🤗

[prose-for-hire]

Always and forever

Pairing: Buffy Summers x fem!reader

Request: Hi I love your writing , may I request a Female reader x Buffy where they go on a small date and the reader is clueless it's a date cause they're awkward and Buffy thinks it's cute 🥺💕

Requested by: Anon

A/N: I’m back writing (slowly, very slowly) and here with Buffy and a female reader no less – hope this is what you wanted anon !! 💜🖤

It started with a smile.

The first time you had met she had been entranced by your smile. She thought you were the most beautiful woman she had ever seen. You had become close friends, the type where you could tell the other everything. Everything except your feelings for the other.

Buffy had liked you for a long time, she had come out to you first telling you that she liked girls. You had smiled, tried your best to be encouraging – explaining that you had those feelings for other women too.

She was beyond pleased when she heard this, she had a crush on your for a long time, but she hadn’t told you this just yet. She was trying to work up the courage to say something. She was usually more self-assured but when it came to you, there was no margin for error. She couldn’t lose you.

It was no secret to your friends that you both had feelings for each other, having both separately confided to the others. You, slightly awkwardly to Willow and Tara one afternoon in the Magic Box when it was quiet). The witches just smiled at each other knowingly, having had a recent and very similar conversation with a certain slayer about her feelings for you.

But nobody had clued either of you in, it was better to let you both discover it yourselves, they decided.

It carried on like this, with the stolen glances you would take at any opportunity. As well as the laughter and the way you both appeared to light up when the other was around.

Until today. Today, was the day. Buffy had just woken up and decided life was too short. You had all just fought your way through an apocalypse and Buffy decided she didn’t want to face the end of the world again without you knowing the way she felt.

She found you in the Magic Box sorting through some scrolls. You worked there and had been left to man the store alone as everyone else had some really important things to be doing until later.

The bell rang at the front and you looked up, smiling when you saw who it was. Buffy. She was wearing a cute cami and you complimented it as soon as you saw it. You wanted to continue, complimenting every feature she had. Every sweet smile and her rosy cheeks after she fought a demon.

Buffy smiled, looking down slightly as she spoke. She was usually so forthright, so self-assured but with you it all melted away.

This was so important to her – you were so important to her. She decided to ask you on a date first, so you could feel out how you wanted to continue.

“You wanna Bronze it tonight?”

“Uh, yeah okay – I’ll ask the others”

“No, uh, you don’t have to. We can have a girls night – where the girls would b-be just us” She hinted, your face smiling softly as you became excited at the prospect of having her alone.

However, you hadn’t realised that you had actually just agreed to a date. You were quite black and white and she made you flustered at the best of times so because she hadn’t actually called it a date – you hadn’t realised that was what it was.

Nevertheless, you dressed up with her in mind. Your favourite outfit, one she had compliment before. You were so excited that she wanted to spend quality time to you but you never even considered she wanted to hold you the way you wished to hold her. Kiss her the way she wanted to kiss you. Or even call each other girlfriend in the way you both desperately wanted.

She smiled as you entered, she had already saved a table. She wouldn’t usually come so early but she had been so excited (and she knew if she went for a walk around the block to kill time she would run into some demon and instead become hideously late because she would get into a fight).

You were right on time, not wanting to miss a second with her. You slid into the seat opposite her. She slid the drink over to you that she had already ordered. You were surprised to note it was your favourite: she had remembered. As you reached for the cup, your hand brushed against hers.

You felt a heat rising in your cheeks as you looked down at the way your hands had touched even slightly. You moved your hand reluctantly and took a massive gulp of your drink for something to do. To distract yourself from thinking about how her hand would feel in yours. How you were sure her fingers were made to entwine perfectly with yours.

She smiled at the contact but moved when you did, pulling her arms to cross them on the table reluctantly. She watched your hand as you clutched the cup and took a drink, you complimented her choice telling her you couldn’t have ordered any better yourself. She was very proud of this, shrugging a little and doing that pleased little smile you loved.

You were friends, you hugged and showed affection but because it was a date she wished she could reach over and take your hand without having to think twice about it.

She started to talk, asking you about your day. Your interests and any hobbies you had been enjoying recently. But she was unsure if you were having second thoughts. She had been really excited when you had agreed to go out just you and her. But you seemed uncomfortable or at least, uninterested in her.

This wasn’t true. Not even a little bit. You were worried that you were showing your feelings too blatantly when you weren’t sure she felt the same. You overcompensated and so it came off the complete opposite of what you felt.

All of Buffy’s not-so-subtle hints had clearly been lost on you.

Eventually you warmed up, knowing you were close friends should be enough. You knew Buffy cared about you so it was odd that you weren’t being the same.

You shared drinks, the best food that the Bronze had to offer and you were even convinced to dance with her. She lit up so beautifully when you agreed to dance with her. The proximity almost left you reeling. You were afraid you would faint at how close to her you were. How she guided your hands to rest on her as you danced to a slower song together.

She told several men more than once that all of your dances were hers. Nobody questioned it, especially seeing as they knew who Buffy was and the amount of strength she had.

You grinned whispering your thanks, despite you still not quite figuring out her reason for being so blunt with everyone else. All you could focus on was how happy you were with her. Swaying against her slowly. The way her perfume clung to her and her hands grazed your lower back made you shiver.

You were feeling so many things at once and she would never know. Never know how much this moment meant to you. You wished that you could take a picture and keep it in a locket around your neck. Keep her by your side always.

At the end of a really nice night, you walked out together, her insisting on walking an extra thirty minutes out of her way to walk you to your house. She needed to make sure that you weren’t ambushed by something big and gross.

When you arrived at your home you turned to thank her for a fun time. You smiled, feeling a little more confident to express your feelings with your close friend and rubbed her upper arm softly. She smiled at the contact, feeling the usual glimmer of hope she would feel. Pleased that now you had been on a date, this meant she had been right. That you harboured affection back.

This, of course was true, but you still weren’t entirely aware that she felt this way despite every sign. As you turned to leave she stopped you gently, holding your hand and smiling. She took a deep breath before finally saying something she had wanted to say for such a long time.

“We could kiss y’know, what with the date… only if the whole romantic kiss-age thing is cool with you and not totally outdated”

“This was… a date?”

“Uh, well, only in the sense that we had food and prolonged eye contact” She said, dropping your hand softly and looking away. She was expecting you to let her down gently. She was starting to get embarrassed, she had put her heart on the line. It had been so long and the last thing she wanted was to lose you as a friend.

“I-I didn’t realise-”

“That’s okay. It’s really fine I’ll just go” She started to babble, her eyes widening slightly, “Hopefully the Hellmouth will swallow me up on the way home” she muttered starting to turn away.

“Don’t go! I’m sorry, I was just trying to figure out how I got so lucky” You grinned, finally able to find your words. You moved closer to her, both of your eyes glistening at the revelation. You moved slowly and she blinked slowly, anticipating the contact from your skin. You tucked a stray strand of her beautiful blonde hair behind her ear before cupping her cheek, “Can I still have that kiss?” You whispered, barely audible. It still didn’t feel real. You were walking on air.

You adored her. And to think she harboured anything close to how you felt about her. You were beyond giddy.

Your lips met, it was perfection. The perfect release. You emotions were heightened and the affection you had both harboured for so long poured between you freely for the first time. It was a revelation, her lips gliding against yours. She pulled you closer, deepening the kiss. She wanted to know every part of you. Her lips were so soft, almost addictive. She tasted so good.

The cold nipped at your exposed skin but neither of you noticed it. You were warm. Filled to the brim with love. With such wanting that could finally be fulfilled. You clung to each other, whispering affection and your feelings between kisses as you started to slow and pull away. You looked at each other and smiled. Laughing slightly. She held your hands, squeezing them. That had been the most beautiful kiss either of you had ever had. You never wanted to part.

But you knew now, deep within, that you would never have to.

Your place was by her side.

For always.

[oveliagirlhaditright]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25092943/chapters/60786085

SoKai Week Day 1. Prompt: One Heart.

So… Sora and Kairi’s entire conversation at the start of this is based on one that Buffy and Angel had in “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”, that I felt was too perfect to pass up for this.

Enjoy!

Also… it should hopefully be clear in the story, but Kairi—who is the PoV here—is definitely being an unreliable narrator in this fic, and being WAY too hard on herself.

Have Heart

It was a hideous day outside: rain was falling in torrents, the wind was howling, and there was an eclipse keeping anyone from seeing the sun.

But even though the weather conditions were bleak, the past hours hadn't been a complete loss for the Guardians of Light. While Ava had, unfortunately, gone back to the Master of Master's side after he'd told her how he loved her like a dad would, they'd gotten Aced to their side when they'd explained to him that even they thought he'd had good intentions—even if his father and siblings couldn’t see that—but had just gone about things the wrong way…

And maybe that was why Kairi and Sora were having a heart-to-heart themselves right now, in Merlin's Study, while everyone else was outside trying to fix Radiant Garden’s claymores...

"I saw you on the day you became the most popular girl at school, y'know,” Sora said now, as he held onto Kairi’s hand and looked earnestly into her eyes. “It was a beautiful day, where the sun was actually shining unlike now... and you had a lollipop in your mouth, and walked down the stairs to the courtyard… and I fell in love with you then.”

"Why?" Kairi couldn't keep herself from asking. Because it was beyond her how Sora had ever cared for the weak girl who had led to his death, let alone cared for the horrible creature she’d been even before that.

"Because... I could see your heart,” Sora assured her with a smile, as he ran a hand through her hair. And Kairi supposed he must have been serious about this… since Sora always took matters of the heart so seriously. It made her feel even more in love, even if she wasn’t sure she deserved it. "…And I was worried that your heart would be bruised or broken. And more than anything else in the world, I wanted to warm it with my own."

Kairi hugged Sora for these words—as how could she not? Especially since she wanted to revel in this feeling a little while longer, if  she was going to selflessly give it up… if she couldn’t change—and replied, "That's so sweet, Sora." And it was.

But for some reason, Kairi also couldn't help thinking of their blood pumping organs being pushed together, instead of their figurative hearts that Sora had really been speaking about, "Or, taken literally… really gross." (1)

“Y’know… I was just thinking the same thing,” Sora muttered, seeming suddenly ashamed of himself if the tone in his voice was anything to go by.

And Kairi laughed uproariously, as she pulled away from Sora and smiled at him widely… and then he was grinning at her, too, before he was twirling her around and they were dancing in the midst of their ridiculous life.

And Kairi held onto the moment, in thinking that it could be her last moment with Sora… for so many reasons.

...

In the end… Kairi was selfish. She always had been, and knew this well. Wasn’t this why she’d always wanted Sora to stay home with her, rather than go on his quests? …Or why she’d forced herself into battles she wasn’t ready for—endangering everyone that way—just so she could stay by Sora’s side? And then… after Sora had died, she’d become the worst possible version of herself. That old popular girl with the bad attitude again, but also someone who’d been grieving for trauma that had happened to her on one, two, three fronts… and she’d been so cold to Riku because of it… someone who was Sora’s best friend.

And after everything they’d been through… maybe she should have just let Sora and herself be together, like they so desperately wanted, but after Sora’s heartfelt declaration the other day—where he’d told her he’d loved her when she’d only been at the first stage of unlovable—she couldn’t help thinking he deserved so much better than her.

But Kairi was too awful to let Sora go completely… So she stopped touching him or being around him if she could help it, without explaining anything, as she tried to become a better (or lesser?) version of herself, so she could hopefully be comfortable in his arms again, sooner rather than later?

Where her enemies were concerned… Kairi stopped talking to them—in not being able to get over just how annoying she was when she spoke—but she also hated that she was doing this… because it reminded her of the girl who hadn’t gotten to speak to her abuser until he was already dead, and she couldn’t get much relief that way, and it was causing the Foretellers to just think she was the simple girlfriend of Sora again, and nothing more.

But if it somehow made Kairi’s heart… truer, she would continue on this path.

So when Ursula's family were making a big deal of her being in love with George from the Jungle, when Kairi was helping out in that world, she said nothing... She also didn't even question why Alice seemed older than she should have been, when she went to Wonderland herself for the first time, and why it seemed different than Sora described it as... She even ignored telling her new friends who she thought framed Roger Rabbit, when she'd figured the answer out herself. And even when it was revealed to her that Master Ava was somehow her grandmother… Kairi didn’t react. But that was more from shock than anything else.

But it was after that had transpired, that Sora seemed to have enough of the silent treatment and began questioning her. "Kairi... I thought you wanted to be more active on our journeys… so why are you being less so now? Are you okay?"

They were back home on Destiny Islands now, after having defeated the Master of Master’s plans and most of the Foretellers, unfortunately. And Kairi had decided to just deal with all of her grief here, and not ruin the party that was going on outside, but she should have known that Sora would never leave her alone when her heart was clearly in distress… that was what she loved about him.

The Kairi of old, who had been pretty good at bottling up her emotions, wouldn't have told Sora the truth here… But the one who remembered how doing such a thing had destroyed Terra, Ventus, and Aqua’s friendship for a while, knew that she had to finally speak.

"...What's wrong is that I'm supposed to be Light, Sora…. But you're kinder and truer than I could ever be… and I’m not saying that to insult you or anything… I just find that no matter what I do, I’m a mean girl—even though I'm trying to fight some of that now… and be less me—so what can you possibly see in me? And what did the universe see, in order to gift me with this power?"

And Kairi assumed that Sora would give her some massive speech here… perhaps something like his “my friends are my power” speech, or when he’d told Riku he didn’t have a conscience… or something along the lines of what he’d said to get her to want to stay in Traverse Town so many years ago…

But instead, Sora just admitted with much simplicity and heart: "Kairi, I love you because you're you... for all the times you've saved me, and how you poke fun at me, and how we've grown up together. How could I not? So stop trying to be anyone other than yourself. And, I mean, Mister Arrogant over here isn't exactly perfect. Our flaws make us good for each other, too, believe it or not."

And Kairi wanted to argue this, she really did. Because how could the hero of the worlds be comparing himself to her?

But if Kairi was being honest with herself, she loved Sora for pretty similar reasons to what he’d just said about her, didn't she? Even when she was put off by how conceited he could be, for example, in thinking he could just magically go to the next school year—despite his grades—just because his teachers loved him so much.

And Kairi held Sora in her arms again… probably something she should’ve been doing every second and every day since he’d first spilled his guts to her, instead of pushing him away, and Kairi asked Sora the question that perhaps the universe had laid on her mind to try and comfort her. "I guess I really do need you to warm my heart, huh?"

And the words "you bet" were whispered against Kairi's head, as Sora kissed her forehead and brought her even closer to him.

Author’s Note: (1) I struggled with whether I wanted to give Kairi this Buffy line or not. On one hand… I didn’t want to, because Sora was spilling his heart out to Kairi here, and it didn’t seem like she would somewhat shoot that in the foot by saying this. But at the same time… I want Kairi to have her personality, tbh… The snarky one that we really saw in KHI and KHII, that allowed her to banter with Sora: as I think that’s one of the reasons they’re good and fun together and have chemistry. So, in the end, I decided to keep it for that reason. And perhaps Kairi later thought of her saying that, and it’s part of the reason she’s hating on herself in this story. -shrugs-

[roswelldetails]

RNM 2x06 - Sex and Candy

EPISODE SUMMARY:

Maria’s (Heather Hemmens) investigation into her mother’s disappearance leads her and Alex (Tyler Blackburn) to the home of a mysterious boot maker named Travis (guest star David Anders). Meanwhile, on her journey of self-discovery, Isobel’s (Lily Cowles) night out leads her into the arms of someone unexpected. Finally, after making some major scientific strides, Liz (Jeanine Mason) is dealt a devastating blow. Geoff Shotz directed the episode written by Rick Montano & Vincent Ingrao (#206). Original airdate 4/20/2020.

DETAILS:

Max and Isobel's fight:

Lights start flickering when Max starts getting aggressive and then get brighter as he gets more worked up.

The first attempt to expel it seemed like he was causing an earthquake.  He blew out all the windows in the gym, knocked Isobel down, and there was shaking.  But it didn't seem to go beyond that room - no damage is seen when Michael arrives or around town.

Note, after the earthquake thingie the lights go out 

His hands are doing the electric power thingie and THEN he also grabs the lightning.

I think Isobel used her telekinesis to stop it and then push it away, which seemed to work...but if so then why couldn't Noah do that last season? 

Was it the sheer volume of electricity? There was definitely MORE than with Noah.

Michael uses his telekinesis to manually reset Max's heart.  This is very smart of him. Note that he's using his own heart/pulse to get it right.

They are using the antidote to Liz's serum to try to heal Max's mind. 

Michael says that they've been giving him antidote injections for three days (time jump).

Three days of antidote and no new memories for Max.

Isobel remembered her blackouts within a few hours of getting injected with the antidote in 1x10.

Note: Liz hesitated using the antidote this way in 1x10 because Isobel could still be dangerous and they didn't know about the 4th Alien yet.  There doesn't seem to be a similar hesitation with Max. Because Liz trusts him more? Because him forgetting her is more personal? It's not like there isn't a chance that Max is still dangerous…

Maria arranged a Mexican market in the Pony parking lot to subsidize her income.

Buffy the Beagle is Forrest's dog!

Maria comments that the meteor shower makes animals act strange. And humans too.

Forrest and Maria are organizing an open night mic at the Wild Pony.  Free drinks for performers.

Maria clearly approves of Forrest and Alex getting to know each other.  She smacks Alex for his awkward flirting.

The bootmaker's farm is about an hour outside of town.

The Science:

Kyle and Steph are watching a "surgical separation of craniopagus twins".

Craniopagus Twins = twins attached at the cranium/head. (Aka not a heart surgery).

"Did you know, ever since 1947, twin births in Roswell are higher than the national average? Maybe it's aliens."

Speaking of awkward flirting…. "You're just my favorite person I can't stand."

The Spanish:

Le cambio una bolsa de chiles para mi papá...for the free fries next time you come to the Crashdown.

Liz is bartering.  She says basically, I'll trade you a bag of chiles for my papa for free fries next time you come to the Crashdown. 

Note, the captions for this are wrong and use the Spanish word for grasshoppers instead, but you can clearly hear Liz say chiles. Thanks to @rosaortecho for pointing that out to me.

Max says:

I'm trying to eat clean. Uh, tiene carne seca sin como se dice, preservativos.

He's trying to say, basically, does the jerky have preservatives. 

Quiere carne a sin preservativos?

Basically, you want meat without condoms?

Lo siento. Uh, no lo entiendo.

I'm sorry, I don't get it.

Él quiere decir conservantes.

He means preservatives.

Gracias. Estoy embarazado.

Thank you. I'm pregnant.

Michael asks Max who he's texting. Max says everyone has been messaging him but Cameron is the only one who hasn't responded, which isn't like her.

Wildly curious who he was texting though.  It's not like he's a social butterfly. His mom? The sheriff? Who? As I pointed out to some friends the other day, he spent his 21st birthday getting trashed with his SISTER. This is not a trait of a guy with lots of close friends.

Just as another note, Michael says he ghosted her. When exactly was that? Yes, Max ran out on her in the middle of a handy in 1x03, but they addressed that the next day.  She "broke up" with him in 1x07, but they were still good right up until she left town. 

Isobel:

"Does he seem different to you?"

Alex and Maria playing "Never have I Ever" in the car. Good way to do background on characters.

Maria has never cheated on a boyfriend

Alex has never been in a real relationship. Not even "Kellie Sommer-something".

Alex says that whenever he was with a woman he was trying to disappear.  Except for Sophomore year after Battle of the Bands. Seven Minutes in Heaven in Haley Moore's hall closet. Alex and Maria kissed and it was Maria's first kiss (and boob graze).  She always thought she'd marry Alex. Had to come up with a new plan after he came out. 

Alex says "I did too."

"Kissing you in that closet was the first time in my life that I enjoyed touching someone."

Max picks up Liz for their first date…

Just as a note, Save Tonight was the opening song in the pilot of OG Roswell. During the "oh, Max Evans is staring at you again." exchange between Liz and Maria.  So, it might go well with new beginnings or something ;-)

The Science:

"Psychogenic amnesia limits retrieval of stored memories, but if we light up your limbic system and gustatory cortex with some familiar signals…"

"Your milkshake might bring all my memories to the yard?"

**Note, second reference to this song in the context of Liz bringing Max milkshakes. First was in 1x06 by Isobel. Hmm. 1x06 and 2x06… maybe they should crack this joke in 3x06 too.

"Sometimes when people wake up from comas they have different personalities, different tastes even…"

Everything you ever wanted to know about psychogenic amnesia:

But, my main takeaway is that it's a specific type of amnesia where there's abnormal memory function but no brain damage or other clear cause of it.

Limbic system:

Basically the part of your brain that stores emotion, behavior, and long term memory.

Gustatory cortex:

Basically the part of your brain that processes taste.

Maria compares Michael to Chad because he starts fights and lies.  Alex disagrees and lists ways that he was doing good things:

He lied to protect his family from Alex's family.

He shouldered the burden of a murder he didn't commit for ten years so that Isobel didn't have to.

He pushed Maria away to protect her - which might be a good thing too because of all his baggage. 

First Date:

Max went to Ranch camp one summer and dislocated his shoulder while trying to read Lord of the Rings on horseback. #nerd. 

Liz references the gala as not their first date, but there was also the desert in high school.  I guess she doesn't count that either. 

Side note: Cam and Liz talked about him peacocking in 2x03, but that kinda felt out of character at the time to the Max we knew.  This Max DOES seem like he's peacocking a bit. Got dressed up, taking Liz horseback riding. He admitted to trying to one up whatever they did together before. Just an interesting (to me) observation.

Liz looks panicky when Max suggests truth serum (because Science!Liz probably could make truth serum), but once she realizes he means whiskey she's like, "oh yes, that's fine." Oh Liz… 

Diego details:

They were engaged just last year

Liz left without saying goodbye

Bioengineer 

They were working together on the Denver study

They would come home and keep talking about work

He had ideas to help improve it

They both spoke The Science

He pushed her to get better at The Science

When the funding was cut she realized she loved the work more than him

Liz couldn't figure out how tell him that so she packed her things in the middle of the night, hit the road, changed her phone, and blocked him on Facebook.

**This is the first time LIZ has mentioned social media. Interesting given the crap Maria keeps giving her about it!

Travis and fresh warm milk. What is up with it??

"Nice ring. Does it keep you from burning up in the daylight?"

David Anders introduces himself as Travis.

Just as a point of interest, Maria researched enough to find the bootmaker, figure out where he lives, but she didn't get his name??? 

Vampire Diaries/Originals reference.

Travis says he can't help with car stuff.

The milk was from a cow named Jennifer.  He milked her for the last time today. (Creepy).

Weird contradictory statements from Travis:

"You're the best thing I've seen in a long time."....

"Mm, I'm sorry. So many customers and all their ugly faces get all sewn up and stitched together in my mind."

"Yeah, that's the woman that bought them boots. While back. Nice lady. She paid cash."

Second reference to animals behaving strangely during a meteor shower:

"Meteor shower's got my girls singing a bit off key tonight.  Jennifer, she likes a good lullaby."

"Okay this guy is going to turn us into skin suits." (OG reference? Or just general sci-fi?)

Meteorchella at Planet 7 (Coachella-style party during meteor shower?) with any excuse to add sparkles!

Kyle says he's at Planet 7 because he's trying not to hang out with people from high school.

Isobel says she's trying to have fun without feeling like prey.

Don't think the details of Kyle/Isobel dancing matters all that much, but as a point of amusement I'll share that in the panel on Tuesday night they shared that Lily whispered something different to Trevino on every take...And they got progressively dirtier to the point that she finally felt like she crossed a line and profusely apologized.  Also the lick was a Lily addition. 

Max's confession about killing the drifter:

Kind of an interesting thing, comparing the first version of the drifter story in 1x06 to the 2x06 version. 1x06 was more dramatic, but 2x06 was more personal, I think. 

1x06

"There are moments that define our lives, and there are moments that divide our lives. Incidents that separate us into two different people: who we were before and who we will be after. Forever…One day we were children and the next we were something else. I was a killer. Michael an accomplice.  And Isobel...Isobel was broken."

2x06

"I killed a man once, on a camping trip. This drifter came out of nowhere, attacked Isobel.  I wasn't even thinking. I killed him. With this. I arrest people who kill people. Most of them usually regret what they did. You know, you can just tell that they're forever broken. It's like a piece of them dies with their victims. So when I could feel that darkness, like I had to kill, I wanted Isobel to let me die. Because I couldn't risk hurting even one innocent person. Cause life just wouldn't be worth living."

Kind of an interesting narrative choice to confess to murder on a first date and then have the girl just brush it aside. 

"No, it just hit me why you're so happy and idealistic, and I feel like an idiot. You are that way because you don't remember me. It's a clean slate.  It's like when you got out of the pods with whatever memories you had erased it's probably for your own good."

"Last I heard you were the love of my life."

"Your cohorts, they left out some details. Cause if you had your memories I'm positive the worst thing that's ever happened to you is connected to me. And I can't bear the weight of making you remember that again."

**Note, second time this has been implied.  Last time was by Michael in 1x08 regarding the alien symbol.

"...it's gotta have some connection to us right? Maybe it was something we saw somewhere before the crash."

"Sorry, are you, Max Evans, acknowledging that we must have had lives before we hatched out of the pods? You never want to talk about home."

"Hey, Roswell is home. Look, I'm sorry man. You're right. I've spent a lot of time not talking about where we come from or why we're here.  Keep thinking I can pretend the past away and just be normal. But if Isobel's blackouts are some alien thing, then I need to know more. Okay, and this symbol? That's all I have to go on. I mean don't you think it's strange that we don't have any memories? I mean, no parents, no language. We weren't infants, man. We were seven."

"I just figured our memory faded. Over 50 years in those pods. Maybe it was just time. Or maybe whoever put us in those pods doesn't want us to remember."

Travis and Trevor's house...with added bonus of his ring that Alex comments on.

Leather ribbons/strips on the wall are for (from?) Hayley and Gertrude. More cows, I presume. 

There's also a framed Purple Heart on the wall next to a photo of Travis?

"War really messes with a man's mind.  Gets it all twisted up.

Timeline issue!! Alex says Mimi was missing for 3 weeks, but according to the clearly established timelines in 201-203 it was 4 weeks (or a month ish).  I wrote about this here:

Maria put her jacket on a scarecrow to trick Travis. And did she leave it there?

(Answer: yes. She doesn't wear it for the rest of the episode. Smart of her, actually).

Michael sees Trevor come out of the house and is about to shoot him. Maria immediate knew it wasn't Travis and threw herself in front of Michael's gun

Trevor shoots Travis.

A bullet from the Crashdown shooting falls out of Max's journal.  Does it look like it has blood on it? Or maybe just ketchup? If it's THE bullet it would make a lot of sense that he kept it hidden - evidence that Liz was shot. See this comparison between one of Wyatt's bullets in 1x02 and the one Max finds in 2x06

"Sorry about my twin here. He's had a rough go."

"Combat does not make you an axe murderer."

"No, it wasn't the combat. It was the R&D. If a paramilitary group ever asks you to take part in a study, you run the other way. He showed up a few weeks ago. Locked me up out back. Lucky y'all showed up when you did. Gave me a chance to escape."

R&D is a military acronym for Research and Development. (Aka...The Science.)

Priscilla - the cow Mimi's boots were made from.

This is literally the only direct information gained about the boots from this little sleuthing excursion. 

Well, and that Mimi paid cash, which isn't like her.

Side note - I didn't really know what Paramilitary meant, so just in case any of you are also not good with military stuff, Paramilitary groups are like private armies. Like, I dunno, the private security firm that Jesse and Cam discussed in episode 2x04. 👀

Male doctor operating on Steph clearly states:

"All right we're approaching an arterial junction."

A female doctor replies and its less clear.  What I hear is...Blood gasses are back? Anyone else hear something that makes more sense than that?

He replied something like...the stint through here

She says something about pH levels.

Max admits that he didn't know what would happen when he decided to bring Rosa back.  He just wanted to fix the worst thing that ever happened to all of them.

"I can't believe we were Shyamalan'd by an evil twin."

I think Alex is referring to the twist ending? Or maybe just the insane axe murderer stuff.

M. Night Shyamalan wrote and directed the Sixth Sense, Signs, Split, etc…

During this scene is the first time we see Michael's tattoo… it's on his arm. I struggled with getting a cap of it, but I know there are gifs going around.

I had every intention of detailing the dialogue in the trailer scene, but before I could get to it, Carina posted the script, so I didn't think it was a good use of my time. Here's the script:

The next morning, Alex calls the Sheriff from outside the trailer for an update.

The Sheriff tells him that Travis and Trevor burned their home and ran...weren't caught by the sheriff.  Which means we may not have seen the last of them.

The Spanish:

"Oh my God. Dios mio, Max. I took off your pants before I even said I love you. I'm some kind of zorra."

Dios mio basically is Oh My God! So Liz really was spiraling. She went, "Oh my God, Oh my God..."

Zorra - female version of Zorro. Basically a vixen, bitch, prostitute… the internet has all sorts of fun words that it translates into. 

"I call this one Visceral Werewolf Part 2, dedicated to my boy Chee Chee, may he rest in peace."

Can we have more Bert? Bert is the best. Also kudos to his goofy friend who is wayyy too excited about this.

Forrest's slam poem:

Locked up for days,

Time slipping away,

On my knees I would pray to break free from this cage.

But bargaining for keys, you forget hidden fees.

And wishing for what you’re missing ain’t the same as living the dream. 

And now I’m fighting to stay on this side of the cage.

Even though I know a part of me wishes I’d stayed. 

Ain’t no prophet or rebel or savior or devil

Could have predicted, fought, cheated or leveled. 

A life with potential that’s squandered, 

A comfortable cell is a question I ponder. 

Am I a free man or a prisoner wanderer?

Max's memory flash:

Young Max, chained to the ground as described in 2x03. 

Max looks scared.

He's dressed all in white like the 1947 aliens after the crash (As shown in 1x12 and 2x03).

He's in a cave or something like a cave. 

Holes in the wall are glowing an orangey red color.

The ceiling is like the alien ship material with the alien symbol in it.  

A figure approaches from behind him, bends down, and places a hand on his shoulder.

It mirrors the figure approaching Nora in 2x03 and touching her shoulder before burning the military men...probably the same person? Noah? The stowaway? Someone new?

After the figure touches Max, he looks at the hand, and then a red glow lights his face.

MUSIC:

1. Xocoyotzin Herrera "Esperanza"

2. Jose Luis Lepe "La Carreta"

3. Eagle Eye Cherry "Save Tonight"

4. Lousiana Red "I Done Woke Up"

5. Whissell "Magnetic"

6. Stop Dead "Alchemistress Dance"

7.  Orville Peck "Turn To Hate"

8. Kim Petras "Close Your Eyes"

9. Orville Peck "Queen Of The Rodeo"

10. Moontricks "The Fall"

11. Years & Years "Hypnotised"

12. Jordan Critz Feat. Birdtalker "Through Your Eyes"

This time I couldn't find the Whissell and Stop Dead tracks on spotify - however the Stop Dead track is referenced at being by Chelsea Dawn in the closed captions.  Which I did find. Trying to confirm this. Let me know if anyone else had better luck!

[troped-fanfic-challenge]

Author Reveal of the Chopped 3.0 Round 2: Science Fiction Fics

The Tropes:

Based on a TV Show/Movie

Reunion

Kiss to keep cover/keep a secret

Forehead touches

———

and i’ll never say i love you (but i meant it all along) by @bellamysgriffin (Rated T) [Bellamy/Clarke] {Black Mirror}

Summary: When Coach, a dating system that pairs you with someone for an allotted amount of time and gives no way to bypass its rules, matches Bellamy and Clarke together, they find an immediate dislike for the other. Luckily, they only have to spend twelve hours together and then they can go their separate ways.

That is, until Coach matches them again. And again. And again. Until they start to wonder if something deeper is going on.

Or, Bellamy and Clarke in Hang the DJ

Per Aspera Ad Astra [Through Hardship to the Stars] by @she-who-the-river-could-not-hold (Rated G) [Bellamy/Clarke] {The Vast of Night}

Summary: It’s boredom one fateful night that leads Clarke Griffin to ditching the first basketball game of the season. That same boredom then leads to her choosing to hang out with one Bellamy Blake – which should feel weirder than it is since they haven’t really been friends since his sister’s disappearance two years ago.

But then their night really takes a turn.

The two of them discover a strange audio frequency that could change the small town of Arkadia, New Mexico – and the future – forever. Dropped phone calls, forgotten tapes, and strange lights follow Bellamy and Clarke as they race through the night on a scavenger hunt to discover the truth. That maybe there was something more to Octavia’s disappearance, maybe there’s more to their friendship than being just friends, and that maybe they aren’t as alone in the universe as they thought.

through the muted waves by @the-most-beautiful-broom (Rated T) [Murphy/Emori] {The Tomorrow People}

Summary: Scientists call the Tomorrow People the next stage of human evolution, the government denies their existence, but their cocktail of psionic abilities have made homo superiors the target of Eligius. Even though Eligius has closed the project that allows Tomorrow People to override their genetic inability to kill, they still relentlessly hunt them, desperate to neutralize their abilities. When Murpy wakes up in Eligius headquarters, he knows he’s returned for a reason…if only he could understand his connection to the brown-eyed girl who keeps cropping up on the corners of his memory.

in the red snares by @justbecauseyoubelievesomething (Rated T) [Octavia/Lincoln] {Buffy the Vampire Slayer}

Summary: The prevailing theory around the existence of Slayers (her existence) is that a variation of the alien parasite the miners unearthed deep in the Sub Stratum started infecting hosts in order to combat the vampire parasite. Octavia scoffs at the thought. The theory is probably right, especially since Monty is pretty confident in it, but she still hates the whole thing. The Slayer parasite really needs an upgrade in her opinion.

The Cockroach by @mobi-on-a-mission (Rated T) [Murphy/Emori] {The Martian}

Summary: “This is the cockroach hailing Mission Team Alpha. It’s Sol 30 here on good ol’ Planet Alpha. Not that it’s really a planet, but eh whatever. Technicalities, right? Anyway. Systems check. Arm: healing. Bugs: normal. Radio: shitty. Attitude: good.”

I’m No Hero by @queenemori (Rated T) [Murphy/Emori] {X-Men: Days of Future Past}

Summary: It’s 2052 and Reapers are wreaking havoc on mutants and humans alike. Murphy is recruited by Kane and Jaha to go back in time to prevent Octavia Blake from starting an international crisis that made the future much worse. But going back to the past comes with some side effects, mainly having to do with some relationships that Murphy left on bad terms.

from angels or devils by @dylanobrienisbatman (Rated T) [Octavia Blake] {Warrior Nun}

Summary: Octavia was dead, and then she wasn’t. The nuns say it was the gift of an angel, but they may not know as much as they claim.

Will she be able to learn to channel it’s gifts, or will she be claimed by the villain who has followed the Halo through time and space?

Can’t Tell if this is True or Dream by @kuklash (Rated M) [Echo/Gabriel] {The X-Files}

Summary: “Do you understand your mission, agent?” A cloud of smoke punctuated the Director’s question, streaming from his mouth in thick, grey ribbons.

“I am to evaluate the necessity of the work Dr. Santiago is doing and report back at the conclusion of the investigation,” Echo repeated her instructions. Her lungs filled with second-hand smoke and she stifled a cough.

“I hope you appreciate the delicacy of this mission, Echo.” His intense gaze bore a hole into her’s. “Gabriel is not to know the nature of your assignment.”

She met his gaze with equal intensity as she stood up to leave.

“I understand, sir.”

There are some things written in the stars by @changingthefairy-tale (Rated G) [Bellamy/Clarke] {Timeless}

Summary: Dear Bell,

I know you have a million questions. When I planned to come see you in Sau Paulo, I knew I wouldn’t have much time, and there was just too much I wanted to say. But also so much I knew I couldn’t. My only hope is that this journal answers some of your questions, and by some miracle saves your life.

My name is Clarke Griffin, a historian. We’ve never met before today, in your time at least. In 2019, I would be just starting my professorship at Arkadia University back in the states. That’s honestly the only reason Murphy didn’t fight me on seeing you — no chance that I’d cross paths with myself. He wouldn’t have been able to stop me, mind you. But he’s definitely the better pilot, so I’m glad he was on board.

I’m getting away from myself. It’s hard to remember a time when you didn’t just instinctively know what I was thinking. It’s felt a little like you’ve just known me my whole life, the way we’ve always been in sync. Let me start from the beginning, just rip the bandaid off…

Or the “Timeless” AU you never knew you needed. Submitted as part of the Chopped Challenge: Round 2.

Healing AIs, Healing Hearts by @spacekrulesbians (Rated T) [Octavia/Raven] {Heartland}

Summary: Raven and her mother were a perfect team, working with damaged and mistreated AIs and tech. When tragedy strikes, however, Raven has to figure out how to make it on her own. And then there’s that new assistant her mom hired, making things interesting.

inconceivable by @kindclaws (Rated T) [Bellamy/Clarke] {The Princess Bride}

Summary: The first touch of his fingers on her wrists makes her whole body shiver. She’s so painfully aware of him being just behind her, of the wonder and the impossibility of his existence here, that she has to remind herself to keep breathing as he slowly picks apart the knots binding her hands together. “If I turn around, will you be gone?” she murmurs. “Is this a bad dream? Will you be dead again when I wake up?”

“I’m real,” he says softly, and finally the last knot falls away and her hands are free.

It’s practically inconceivable.

(Chopped 3 presents: The Princess Bride. In space, bitches.)

———

All the winners can be found here.

Thank you all so much for participating this round! This was one of favorite rounds to plan and we are so glad you all enjoyed writing! Your talent continues to blow us away! Now that winners and authors have been revealed feel free to blog about your fics and don’t forget to tag us!

We hope you all will join us for Round 3: Fantasy! Those Tropes drop at Midnight tonight.

[andimackshitposts]

Can you write jyrus at cyrus’ house and they are acting all couply in his room and someone comes in. I just want to see Jonah’s reaction.

I’m back from the dead! I’m sure no one will read this, but I feel like I owe it to myself to finish my jyrus prompts….Anyways, I hope you enjoy the story! I turned this into a secret relationship fic. 

It was late on a Saturday afternoon, and lazy late summer sunlight flooded Cyrus’s bedroom. It lit the room in shades of orange, and warmed his skin, as he sat on his bed. His head was leaned on his boyfriend’s–boyfriend, his heart thudded at the thought–shoulder. He leaned up, suddenly, and pressed a kiss to Jonah’s cheek, because that was something he could do now, and grinned. The sunlight caught in Jonah’s eyes as he smiled back, illuminating flecks of gold among the green.  

“What was that for?” Jonah asked, still beaming. 

Cyrus shrugged. “I dunno. Because I can? Because I’m so happy?” He wanted to say because I love you, but he knew it was too soon. They’d only been together a few weeks. Just because Cyrus had been falling for Jonah since the day they met, didn’t mean Jonah was necessarily on the same page. 

Jonah blushed an adorable shade of pink. “I’m happy, too.” And then Jonah moved, pushing Cyrus off his shoulder, so he could lay back on the bed, and motioned for Cyrus to follow. Cyrus did so, nestling his head in the crook of Jonah’s neck, which they’d recently discovered was the perfect fit. Jonah smelled like apricot shampoo and fresh cut grass and it took every ounce of Cyrus’s self control not inhale as deeply as humanly possible. He reminded himself that his pillow would still smell like Jonah later. 

Jonah put his arms around Cyrus and pulled him close. Cyrus loved this, this simply existing in the same space, cuddling and kissing and just. Being. He would’ve stayed in Jonah’s arms forever, if it was possible. But at least they had this time together. At school, things had hardly changed between them, save for secret hidden looks, because Jonah wasn’t out yet. And that was fine, Cyrus knew that coming out was different for everyone, and he was more than happy to give Jonah the time he needed to do it on his terms. But it was still hard. It was hard that he couldn’t talk to his best friends about his new boyfriend, about his relationship. It was hard that he couldn’t hold hands with his boyfriend while they walked down the school hallways. It was worth it, he knew, because Jonah was an incredible person, and being with him, really, truly being with him was the best thing that had ever happened to Cyrus. And it was these moments that reminded Cyrus of that. 

They were lucky, Cyrus knew, that their parents were all accepting and supportive. That was the only reason they had this time together. Cyrus knew he could tell his mom that Jonah was coming over an hour earlier than Buffy and Andi, and she would know exactly what he meant, and she wouldn’t bother them. He was extremely grateful for that. He wished his friends knew, but for now, this would have to do.

Cyrus checked his watch and sighed. They only had about 5 minutes until the girls showed up, or at least, until Andi showed up. She was irritatingly early to everything. Cyrus sat up and started to straighten his hair and clothes, to hide any sign of what they’d been doing for the last hour. 

“Why’d you stop?” Jonah asked, frowning. 

“We don’t have much time before the girls get here,” Cyrus explained. “And if we want plausible deniability that we haven’t been, you know, canoodling, for the last hour, we have to look presentable, alright?” 

Jonah snorted. “Canoodling?” He shook his head. “God, you’re adorable.” 

Cyrus blushed, but stood his ground. “You will not flirt your way out of this. You’re the one who wants to keep this a secret, anyway.” 

Jonah sighed. “Yeah, you’re right, but,” he reached forward and grabbed Cyrus’s wrist, pulling him backwards so he was on top of Jonah, chest to chest, and nose to nose. “Right now, I want one more kiss.” 

Cyrus rolled his eyes, but propped himself up on his arms, and complied. Their lips met gently at first, sending a warmth rushing through Cyrus’s entire body. Cyrus expected it to be a short kiss, but as he tried to lift his head back, he felt Jonah’s hand on the back of his head, pulling him down again, and while he could’ve resisted and pulled away, he didn’t really want to stop, and the more Jonah kissed him, the more he forgot why he wanted to stop in the first place. Jonah’s lips were soft, but firm, and eventually they parted, and he bit down on Cyrus’s bottom lip, eliciting a moan. One of Cyrus’s hands found its way into Jonah’s free hand (the one that wasn’t cradling the back of Cyrus’s head), and he interlocked their fingers. If Cyrus could’ve lived in one moment forever, it would’ve been that. 

“What the hell?” A voice, more than a little irritated, broke them apart. It took Cyrus’s fuzzy brain a moment to process the source of the voice, and once he had, he wished he hadn’t. Because there was Andi, standing in the door to his room, with a hand on her hip, looking…not angry exactly, but confused and maybe a bit hurt. 

“Andi!” Jonah practically yelped, trying furiously to smooth the wrinkles out of his clothes, to fix his hair, as if he could somehow hide what was just happening. 

“Please don’t be mad,” was all Cyrus could manage, anxiety gnawing in the pit of his stomach. 

Andi rolled her eyes and stepped further into the room. “I feel like I just walked in on Jonah cheating on me or something. But I didn’t. Jonah and I haven’t dated for years. I don’t own him, or whatever. He’s a person with agency.” She turned to Jonah. “If you want to makeout with Cyrus, that’s okay. You know that’s okay, right?” 

Jonah nodded, still completely frazzled. “I know, I know. I just, things were always so messy between us, and I didn’t… I didn’t know how to bring it up. I haven’t even told you I’m bi yet! And I just…It was easier to keep it a secret.” 

Andi nodded. “I still can’t believe you didn’t tell me, Cy! You have a boyfriend! And it’s Jonah freakin’ Beck!” She was smiling now, which was a relief. 

“So…you’re okay with this?” Cyrus asked, not ready to believe it just yet. 

Andi rolled her eyes again. “Even if I still had feelings for Jonah, which I really, really don’t, we haven’t dated in years. My feelings about your relationship wouldn’t matter. As it happens, all I feel about this development is happiness for two of my best friends!” 

Jonah and Cyrus let out simultaneous sighs of relief. “Thank God.” Cyrus said, at the same time that Jonah said, “Buffy doesn’t know yet, either.” 

Andi raised an eyebrow. “I’m impressed that Cyrus was able to keep that from her. He must really like you a lot.” 

Jonah blushed. 

“I do,” Cyrus confirmed. “But mostly I just don’t want to take his coming out away from him. It should be his decision.” 

“That’s fair.” Andi nodded. “More than fair, even.” 

“So…” Jonah hesitated. “You won’t tell anyone?” 

Andi made a motion of turning a key over her lips, and then throwing it over her shoulder. “My lips are sealed, I promise.”

“Thank you.” 

“Now, tell me,” Andi grinned. “How the hell did this happen?” 

Cyrus laughed. “Buffy’ll be here soon, so how about we give you the short version?” 

Andi sat down next to Cyrus and nodded. “Short version is good with me.” 

“Well, a little over a month ago–” 

“I’m sorry, it’s been over a month?” Andi broke in. “Are you kidding me? And you’ve been keeping it a secret this whole time? Do your families know?” 

Jonah nodded. “They do. I’m just not ready to be out at school.” 

“You know your friends won’t care, right? Me, Buffy, Marty, Gus, Amber–we’re all here for you. None of us would out you, or judge you, or be anything but over the moon happy for you, for both of you. You both deserve to be happy.” 

Jonah smiled slowly. “I’m starting to figure that out.” 

Cyrus squeezed his hand gently, and returned to the story. “So, long story short, remember when I had to bake all those cupcakes for that charity bake sale?”

“Oh my God,” Andi grinned. 

“Jonah offered to help me, and we finished around midnight, and we were both exhausted, and we all know what Jonah is like when he’s tired.” 

Jonah flushed. “Shut up.” 

“Aw,” Andi chuckled. “Don’t be embarrassed that you have zero filter after 10 PM, it’s endearing, I promise.” 

“So, anyways, he just slipped up and called me ‘cute’ and I didn’t let it go until he admitted that he had a crush on me,” Cyrus felt himself blushing at that. “And I obviously felt the same. So here we are.” 

“That’s so cute.” 

Cyrus blushed further. “I guess it kind of is.” 

At that moment, there was a knock on the door, and they all knew Buffy was there. They heard Cyrus’s mom letting her in, and telling her to head to Cyrus’s room. 

“Hey, Cy?” Jonah said. 

“Yeah?” 

“I think I want to tell Buffy.” Jonah looked at Cyrus nervously. “I think I want to tell all our friends.” 

Cyrus smiled and pressed a kiss to Jonah’s forehead. “Whatever you want.” 

And then Buffy was there, in front of the three of them. 

Cyrus looked at his boyfriend. “You ready?” 

Jonah nodded. “Ready.”

[bestillmyslashyheart]

The Red Name pt 6/7

part one || part two || part three || part four || part five

“Have you considered talking to them? Either of them?” Alex sighed.

“Oh gee, why didn’t I think of that?” Kyle snarked on the other end of the phone. “Yes, I’ve considered it but I have no idea what I would even say!”

“How about ‘I liked having sex with both of you let’s keep doing that’?”

Kyle groaned. “I can’t just say that.”

Alex frowned. “And why not? Seems the simplest solution.”

“Mhmm and what exactly is your experience with effective communication in a relationship?”

“Utter shit,” Alex replied easily. “Which is why I am telling you to learn from my mistakes.”

“Alex,” Kyle said, suddenly serious. Alex straightened his back in response. “Am I seriously going to be the old cliche of a homophobic bully turns out to not be straight? Because I don’t want to be a cliche.”

Alex snorted as the tension left him. “Yeah well, suck it up Valenti. We don’t always get what we want.”

“Why can’t it be easy?” Kyle bemoaned.

“Because it’s worth fighting for,” Alex replied absently, his eyes caught on a taxi pulling up outside. A tall man in a loose flannel shirt and a cowboy hat stepped out with a beagle in tow. 

“Hey Alex?”

“Yeah?”

“How long have you been home? I called you but I wasn’t really expecting an answer…”

Alex closed his eyes briefly. “Got home a week ago. Had to report straight to Andrews,” he lied. “It’s been really busy, I was going to let you know I was back once I got settled.”

“Were you?”

“Of course I was!” There was a knock at the door and Alex’s heart sped up. He was on his feet and halfway to the door before he knew it.

“Ok, fine, you were. It’s just- it’s really good to hear your voice, man,” Kyle told him sincerely. Alex stopped with his hand on the doorknob. He could hear Buffy’s barks already. “Send me your new address, okay? We can send you a welcome home package?”

Alex opened the door. “Yeah, is that package gonna be any of you showing up on my doorstep?” He met Michael’s eyes and his heart stopped for a second. Dammit, he looked good. Buffy jumped up on his legs and Alex reached a hand down to pet her but he didn’t look away from Michael for a second.

“Maybe,” Kyle laughed in his ear.

“Well, then sorry, but you don’t get my address. I don’t really want any visitors.” Michael quirked an eyebrow. A slow grin made its way across his lips. “Look Kyle,” he cut off Kyle’s objections. “I have to go, okay? Go talk to Max and Liz.”

“Tell him to shut up and sleep with them again,” Michael whispered. 

Alex shook his head slowly. “Make sure you actually talk to them before ending up back in bed,” he said instead. Michael met his gaze and nodded once, understanding that that was for him as much as it was for Kyle. As he finished making his goodbyes, Alex stepped back to allow Michael and Buffy to enter. 

“Hey girl,” he cooed as soon as Kyle hung up. His phone ended up somewhere but he wasn’t entirely sure where. He’d care about it later. Buffy licked his face in greeting. “I missed you.”

When Buffy finally had enough kisses, she slipped out of his grasp to explore her new home. He’d left about half of her things in Roswell but the rest was already unpacked here. He watched her explore with a smile on his face. It was good she was here, made the tiny apartment feel like home.

“Hey,” Michael said softly. He reached down a hand to help Alex off the floor and he took it gratefully. Michael hauled him to his feet but didn’t move away so they ended up nearly chest to chest. His hand came up and traced his hairline from his forehead down around the tip of his ear. Alex could barely suppress the shudders that came with it. “You cut your hair,” Michael observed.

“It wasn’t regulation before,” Alex replied quietly. The air felt thick between them.

“Fuck,” Michael whispered. He used the hand already on Alex’s head to pull him into a hug, Alex’s face pressed into his neck as he buried his own face in Alex’s shirt. “You’re okay.”

“I’m okay,” Alex promised. There had been a few close calls, a few cuts and bruises, but he’d come home with the same number of injuries he’d shipped out with so he called it a win. Slowly, he started to pull away. “I got your emails.” He hadn’t been able to send any but he had received communication just fine while he was overseas. 

Michael tensed slightly and stepped back. Their hands fell away from each other slowly, fingers caressing every last bit they could touch. “I read all of yours,” he admitted. 

Alex looked away. He didn’t remember everything that he’d written but he definitely remembered that he hadn’t intended Michael to ever read them. Not really. “I don’t even know why I sent them to you,” he confessed.

“I’m glad you did.”

“Really?” Alex arched an eyebrow. “I’m pretty sure I told you go fuck yourself a couple of times.”

“You did,” Michael agreed. “But you were right and I needed to hear it. Or read it, I guess. There were a lot of things I needed to hear.”

Alex looked away and that’s when he realized they were still standing in the entryway. “Come on,” he muttered. Michael grabbed his arm as he tried to get past him.

“I thought we were going to talk?” He looked scared, like Alex was going to walk away right now. 

“We are,” Alex promised, “but I’d rather we weren’t standing by the front door while we do it.” He nodded towards the living room. “The couch is more comfortable.”

Michael looked around them like he’d just realized where they were too. A pretty pink blush filled his cheeks. “Yeah okay.” He let Alex pass. “Coffee?” Michael headed straight for the kitchen. Alex watched in amazement as he found the coffee mugs, the k-cups, and the sugar without asking. 

“How did you-?” 

Michael looked up at him then down at the coffee materials. He shrugged. “It’s the same as at the cabin.”

“You really did move in, huh?”

Michael flushed. “I can move out if you want me to.”

“Did I say that?”

“No,” he looked up. “You didn’t.”

“Don’t put words in my mouth, Guerin,” Alex warned. He meant it more for their next conversation and from the look in Michael’s eyes, he understood that. 

Michael nodded. “I won’t. I promise.” He stirred in the sugar and grabbed the creamer from the fridge. Alex watched him add it and was still somehow surprised when Michael handed his coffee to him and it was perfect.

“Thank you.”

Michael waved him off and sat down. Buffy jumped up on his lap a moment later. He happily accepted her kisses until Alex sat down and she came over to curl up with him. Alex pet her with one hand while he sipped his coffee with the other. 

“So,” Michael started. “Where were we?”

“Uh I think you were saying I needed to tell you to fuck off?” Michael gave him a look and Alex gave him a smile. 

“I think we were talking about the emails,” Michael said.

“Right. Those.” All of a sudden, Alex didn’t want to talk about this. He’d written the emails when he couldn’t talk to Michael and he’d sent them when he’d thought he’d never have to see Michael again. Talking about them was never in his game plan. “Here’s a thought: what if we didn’t talk about it?” 

Michael reared back in surprise. “What? You just said we need to talk.”

“Yeah and we do. But I don’t want to talk about the emails.”

“Alex-”

“The whole point of them was that they did the talking for us right? So we don’t have to talk about us talking to each other?” He rubbed his forehead. “We can-”

“Why’d you lie to me?” 

Alex looked up. “About what?”

“After we got Max back, you came out to the scrapyard to yell at me to get my shit together and I asked you-” He shook his head. “I asked you if that was how you treated someone you loved and you said ‘no’. That you treated the people you loved better than that.” He met Alex’s eyes and held it. “Why’d you say you didn’t love me?”

Alex held the gaze as long as possible before he had to look away. Buffy rolled over in his lap so he looked down at her and rubbed her belly. “I never said I didn’t love you.”

“Heavily implied, then.”

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “I was angry that day and you were drunk and being an asshole and I just- I yelled. And then it was out there and I couldn’t take it back but I didn’t think you’d remember it anyway.”

“I remembered.”

“I can see that.” Alex shook his head. “You said it yourself, though, it wouldn’t have changed anything. You still would have started a relationship with Maria. You still would’ve moved on.”

“I thought we weren’t talking about the emails?” Michael asked quietly.

“You started it,” Alex shot back wearily. 

“I know,” he nodded. “And you’re right, I probably still would’ve been with Maria. For better or worse she was what I needed then. I needed someone who couldn’t hurt me. I needed someone that I couldn’t hurt in return.”

“But you did hurt her.”

“Not like I hurt you. She’s okay. She’s figuring out this thing with Isobel now and she’s okay.” Michael picked up his forgotten coffee mug and started tracing the rim of it with a finger. “My whole life I’ve had either one night stands and you. I’ve never had a relationship, not really. I thought I wanted one with you but we were in such a bad place it was impossible.”

Alex’s heart leapt into his throat. “Thought?”

“With Maria, it was easy. She didn’t judge me for my inexperience and she didn’t expect much from me. Not like you do. She and I stayed in Roswell and she knew who I was, who I am, and she didn’t expect more than that. But you, you have this image in your head of who I am, expectations of who I should be, and you walk away when I don’t meet them. It was nice not to disappoint her.” He took a sip. “So no, I wouldn’t have changed it. But I would like to think I would’ve done it differently. You weren’t wrong when you accused me of too much PDA. I wanted you to see it, see us. I wanted to show you that I was okay without your love.”

Alex hadn’t gotten an answer to his last question but he pushed it aside for now. “You could never disappoint me, Michael. Yeah I expect more from you but that’s only because I know what you can do.”

Michael shot him a look. “Yeah and when I fall short, you get disappointed. Like with the copper wire.”

Alex shook his head. “I never gave a shit about the copper wire.”

Michael scoffed. “You ended things over it.”

“That’s not-” he stopped. “My dad said some things that night.”

“Yeah, I know, I saw him.”

“He- he said some things and all I could think about was the last time he caught us together. After that, all I wanted to do was get you far away from me so he wouldn’t have a reason to hurt you again.”

“Since when are you scared of anything, Alex?”

Alex snorted. “I’m scared of a lot of things, Michael. Losing you, whether it’s to Project Shepherd or Maria or someone else or fucking outer space! I’m scared of trusting the wrong person and other people paying the price. Hell, I’m scared of going back to war. And I am fucking terrified of my father,” he confessed, struggling to keep his voice even. “I know he hurt you and I know you’ll never be able to get over the fact that I’m his son but he’s your battle. And he’s my war. I will be fighting against him my whole life. I’ll win some and I’ll lose some. And even after he’s gone I’ll still be fighting him because he’s in here,” he tapped his head. “And that’s not going away. So yeah, I pushed you away because I was scared of what he could do to you. And I am sorry about that but- I did the best I could, okay? I know it wasn’t great but it was the best I could do then.”

Michael didn’t respond right away. He let the silence linger long enough that Alex was starting to regret ever opening his mouth. “I never should have said you were like him. You’re not. You’re nothing like him and you’re nothing like your brothers.” He stopped and took a deep breath. “I think the worst thing I ever said to you was that you were responsible for my mother’s death.” Alex flinched at the reminder. He stared down at Buffy, unwilling to look at Michael. “I was drunk when I said it and I wanted to hurt you. And when I saw that it did, I said it again the next time I wanted to hurt someone.” He finished off his coffee quietly. “You always came back, Alex. And I took it for granted and I used you as a punching bag to let out everything I packed inside and I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve it. You deserve a hell of a lot better, really. I’m sorry I never treated you like you deserved.”

“You did,” Alex countered softly. He swirled the last of his coffee around. “Before.”

Before. Before Maria. Before Max and Noah. Before Caulfield. Before Alex came back to Roswell.

“You were amazing,” he added. “For ten years the only time I could let my guard down, let myself truly relax, was when I was with you. You made me feel safe. And loved.”

“Why’d you always leave?”

“Why didn’t you ever come with me?” Because he’d asked, multiple times. Especially after DADT was repealed and he didn’t have to hide.

“I couldn’t leave Roswell, couldn’t leave Max and Isobel.”

“I couldn’t stay there, not with my father in town.”

They fell silent, pondering the weight of those answers. 

“Max and Isobel aren’t going to leave,” Alex acknowledged.

“Neither is your father,” try as they might to force him out. He may have been discharged from the military but he refused to leave Roswell. 

“No,” Alex agreed.

“So where does that leave us?” Michael’s voice was barely a whisper.

“I don’t know, Michael. But does it even matter? Is it really geography that’s the problem? Or literally everything else?”

“I don’t know about literally everything else,” Michael tried.

“You say now that I’m not my family but you spent two years blaming me for everything they did. Did that suddenly change overnight? Am I supposed to believe you’re magically over it all of a sudden? You think I have unrealistic expectations for you, for us, and you’re afraid you’re only ever going to fall short. Is that going to change or will you be afraid of disappointing me no matter how often I tell you that’s not possible? Will I ever be able to get over you and Maria?” Alex sighed. “There’s so much, Michael.”

Michael clenched his jaw. “Why’d you send me your address?”

And there it was. The question Alex had been asking himself ever since he sent that email. Gently, he moved Buffy onto the couch next to him and stood up. Wordlessly, he collected their mugs and took them to the kitchen.

“Alex?” Michael leaned on the counter, having followed him over because god forbid he let Alex have the modicum of space he was trying for. “Why am I here?”

Alex placed the second mug in the dishwasher and closed it. “You came,” he accused.

“You asked me to,” Michael shot back.

“Why’d you send me those emails?” Alex let out a small, humorless laugh. “Why didn’t you just let it go? Let me go? Two years you spent pushing me away and when I finally go, when I finally say goodbye, you reach back out. Why?”

Michael leaned down and covered his head briefly before looking Alex straight in the eye. “Because you said goodbye. Because I had a taste of life without you and it was miserable and I hated it. Even when I was pushing you away you were always there and I counted on that more than I realized to keep myself sane. I sent you those emails because I couldn’t let that goodbye be it between us.” He laughed and the sun through the window caught his hair just right and suddenly Alex was three years in the past standing outside the Airstream hearing Michael tell him, “I never look away, Alex. Not really. I did, for a while, and it was a mistake.” Reality crashed back into him and Michael was two steps closer. “Let me fix it.”

God help him but Alex wanted. He wanted to say yes, he wanted to grab Michael and pull him close, he wanted to fix this, to fix them. “How?” He asked instead. “I live here now and you live in Roswell.”

“How long?” Michael asked. Alex tilted his head in question. “How long are you here for? You requested this transfer can you request to go back?”

“I can,” Alex admitted. Michael let out a relieved sigh. “But I’m not going to.”

“Alex-”

“I can’t be in Roswell anymore Michael. Between my dad and us, there’s just been too much that’s happened there and I can’t be there. Maybe one day down the road I can think about going back but it’s not going to be for a while.” He smiled sadly. “And you’re never going to leave.”

“What if I did?” Michael was another step closer. “What if I moved?”

“And leave Isobel and Max behind? And Liz and Rosa and Maria?” Alex shook his head. “We both know that’s not going to happen.”

“Alex-” There was barely a step between them now.

“Michael, we have so many issues to work through if we ever want this to be real and we can’t do that from opposite sides of the country.”

“So what? We do nothing? We just- let this go? Let each other go?” 

“Yeah,” Alex looked down at his hands only for Michael to cup his chin and lift his head back up.

“No.” Michael denied. “You sent me your address, you wanted me to come here, Alex.” He shook his head. “And it wasn’t just to say we’re done. You could’ve done that in an email.”

“I wanted to see you,” Alex finally admitted. “I read your emails and I fucking missed you and I just wanted to see y-” Michael kissed him. Alex would like to say that he was surprised or startled or caught off guard but in truth he’d been waiting for it since he saw Michael step out of the taxi. Been aching for it really. So he didn’t waste even a breath before kissing him back. His hands were on Michael immediately, touching as much of him as he could while Michael’s held him in place. 

“This means something, Alex,” Michael broke away to say. His hand cupped Alex’s where it rested over Michael’s heart. Over his mark. “It means everything.” This time, Alex initiated the kiss. 

He pulled back far enough to rest his forehead against Michael’s. “It’s not enough, though. Isn’t that what you told Maria?” Michael leaned back. “There is so much shit between us Michael and as much as we love each other, on its own it's not enough.”

---

Kyle pushed open the doors of the Sheriff’s station, careful not to spill any of the coffees in his hand. Once inside he had to dodge two deputies carrying large stacks of files and a teenage delinquent being scared straight en route to his mom’s office.

“Morning,” he greeted brightly. 

“Good morning, Kyle,” she greeted suspiciously. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

He tried to act as offended as possible. “I can’t come bring my mother coffee in the morning?”

She hummed. “Of course you can. But you never do. Spill.” She pointed to the coffee tray in his hand. “Who’s the other coffee for? Deputy Evans perhaps?”

Kyle felt his cheeks flush and he started sputtering. “Wha- Why would you thi- Why would I-”

“Ah,” she smiled, pleased with herself. “How’s that whole arrangement with Liz working out?”

“...do you really want to know?”

“If it’s about my son’s sex life, no. Your love life? Yes I would like to know how you’re doing.”

“Well,” he started off. “Things have...progressed. Unexpectedly so, I mean.”

“In a good way?”

“Yes?” He winced. “I don’t know yet. We’re all sort of not talking to each other.”

“That doesn’t sound good.” She leaned forward and cradled the coffee in between her hands. “Communication is key to making any relationship work.”

“I know. I just- need to figure out what I’m going to say.” 

“You know I’m here if you need me,” she told him.

“I know, Mom. Thank you. But I have someone else in mind for the job.” 

She laughed. “Okay. I’ll let you go. But don’t forget about dinner this Sunday! Your abuela has been talking about it all week and she wants to see Liz again and meet Max.”

Kyle paused halfway to the door. “And Max? Did you tell her…?”

“We’ll ease her into it. Now go. And don’t be late!”

Kyle really wanted to ask what his mom meant by that but he knew an exit when it was shoved in his face. He eased the door closed behind him and headed back for the bullpen just in time to see Max walk in. Skidding to a stop, Kyle ducked into the little coffee nook and prayed Max already had his morning cup. When a minute went by with no Max, he craned his neck around the corner to see what was going on.

Max was talking to another deputy, Morales, if Kyle remembered correctly. He was smiling and laughing and he looked good. Very good. 

Kyle thumped his head on the wall. “Bad thoughts,” he whispered.

“That for me?” Came the voice of an angel. Kyle whirled around to see Jenna behind him, her hand outstretched for her coffee. He handed it over gladly. “So. What do you want?”

“I have a Max Evans problem,” he blurted out. “You are uniquely qualified to help me. So...help?”

Jenna froze with the coffee halfway to her lips and looked between him and Max. “Really? You too?” She laughed. “It’s because he’s tall isn’t it?”

Kyle closed his eyes. “I’m never living this down, am I?”

“Not likely,” she answered. With another glance behind him she grabbed his arm and ushered him out the back door. “I’ve got a few minutes. Talk.”

“So I’ve been dating Liz,” he began.

“Right and so has Max,” Jenna finished. “Get to the part where you have the hots for my partner.”

“We might’ve had sex all three of us and it was really good and I want to do it again except I’m pretty sure neither one of us has ever thought of ourselves as anything other than completely heterosexual?” He spilled it all out in a rush. “Oh and none of us are currently talking to each other.”

Jenna blinked and took another sip of her coffee. “Right. So what’s the problem?”

He made a face. “Uh, how do I talk to Max about doing it again?”

“Well, you walk up to him and you open your mouth and you let words come out,” she replied in a deadpan. When he just stared at her, she sighed and continued. “You like him. You think sex with him is fun. You want to do it again. What about this is complicated?”

“I don’t actually like him that much? I mean we’re friends but that’s it? I don’t want to start dating him too.”

“Do you think he wants to start dating you?”

“Probably not.”

“Then I fail to see the problem. Thanks for the coffee.”

Kyle stared after her in shock. Why did everyone keep making it sound like it was easy?

“Thanks for nothing!” He called out as she walked inside. Just as the door closed he saw her lift the coffee cup in acknowledgement. 

---

“Isobel Evans,” Rosa sing-songed. She watched with delight as Isobel tensed up before her. “Fancy running into you here.”

She looked back over her shoulder. “In my own office?”

Rosa looked around. “Wow. It is, isn’t it?” She flopped down into the chair opposite Isobel’s desk.

“Get up,” Isobel hissed. “I have a meeting right now and I don’t want you in here when the client walks in.”

“No worries. I’m your meeting.” She grinned as Isobel froze again. 

“Why?”

“Maria.”

And just like that the exasperation was gone and in its place was the Ice Queen Rosa remembered fondly. “No. I am not talking about this with you or with anyone.”

“Just tell me what happened,” Rosa urged. “Maria’s a mess.”

“Yeah, well, so am I. And what did I just say about not talking with you?”

“Isobel,” Rosa said quietly, all attitude gone. “What happened?”

Isobel glared at her for a beat before easing into her chair slowly. She didn’t quite relax but she did lose the steely-eyed glare. “I don’t know, okay? I thought we were on the same page right up until she woke up. The way she looked at me, Rosa,” she shook her head. “It was like I-” she swallowed. “She kissed me that night. She kissed me and then we kissed some more and things just kept progressing,” she flailed an arm out. “I thought we were on the same page,” she repeated. She dropped her face into her hands. 

“And then what?”

“And then nothing. I haven’t seen or spoken to her since.”

Rosa furrowed her brow. “It’s been a week. You two talk every day.”

“We did,” Isobel agreed. “Until she looked at me like I took advantage of her, like I-” she still couldn’t say it. Very quietly, she added, “did I?” 

“I don’t know,” Rosa answered honestly. She stood up. “I’ll talk to her, okay? See if she’s willing to talk to you because you two need to work this out somehow.”

“Rosa?” Isobel asked when she got her hand on the door. “Is she okay?”

“She’ll be just fine,” Rosa promised.

“That’s not what I asked.”

“No. It’s not.” She closed the door quietly behind her.

---

“Hey Maria,” Max called out as soon as he stepped through the door. He didn’t want to startle her.

“Max,” Maria greeted when she saw him. “What brings you by during daylight hours? We’re not open yet.”

“I know. Sheriff Valenti just wanted me to come by and ask if you would be open to hosting a fundraiser for the department.”

Maria looked at him. “A fundraiser? For the Sheriff’s Department? Here?”

Max shrugged. “What can I say, you’re a better draw than the coffee shop or the new record store.”

“Thank you?” She shook her head. “When is this?”

“Whenever you can, I think? Sometime in the next month, though.”

Maria turned around and looked at the calendar pinned to the wall. “I’ll have to check the other calendar and my employee work schedule but I might be able to work something out.”

“Yeah?” She nodded. “Great. I’ll let the Sheriff know and she can call you to work out the details.”

“Okay. Thanks for stopping by.” She gave him a small smile and turned back to her work.

“Maria?” Max couldn’t help himself. “Are you okay?”

Her back stiffened and she turned around slowly. “I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?” There was an odd note in her voice that Max couldn’t decipher.

“I don’t know,” he answered honestly. “I just know Isobel’s been really upset for the last week and you and her aren’t talking and-”

Maria scoffed. “Isobel’s upset?”

“Yes,” Max stated firmly. “She is. And I’m worried about her. And you too. I don’t know what’s going on and I don’t need to but I just wanted to check in with you.”

“I’m fine, Max,” she assured him. “Thanks for checking in.”

He lingered a moment longer but it was obvious she wasn’t going to say anything else so he left.

---

Isobel stopped the car in the middle of the street, uncaring of the other cars. Horns started blaring but she ignored them in favor of rolling her window down. “Michael?!” She shouted. Across the street, Michael turned around to look at her before continuing to the Crashdown. Isobel rolled the window back up and quickly made her way around the block until she found a parking spot. 

Michael was just nearing the entrance when she got out. “Michael!” He stopped and waited for her to cross the street. “What are you doing here? I thought you went to see Alex?”

“I did,” he nodded. “And now I’m back.”

She shook her head, bewildered. “And where’s Alex?”

“At Andrews. Where he’s supposed to be.” He turned and slipped inside behind another customer. Isobel hurried after him. 

“Hey,” she grabbed his arm and pulled him to the side. “Talk to me. I thought your flight back wasn’t for another few days?”

“I got a new flight.” He pasted a fake grin on his face but his eyes looked so sad, Isobel didn’t need to reach into his mind to know what had happened.

“I thought you were working it out,” she commented sadly. She’d driven him to the airport a few days earlier and he’d finally revealed the emails he’d been sending. 

“So did I,” he admitted. “But I’m here and he’s there and apparently that’s just a few too many miles for us to work through.” He swallowed and grinned that horrible grin again. “Lunch?” She let him go when he pulled his arm away. 

Distantly, she heard him order for her but her thoughts were running too wild for her to care if he got it right or not. Michael’s mark was the darkest of all of theirs. If he and Alex couldn’t make it work, what hope was there for her and Maria? “Izzy?” She jerked her arm at Michael’s touch. “Table’s this way,” he nodded at their usual booth. “You okay?”

“Uh,” she followed him over. “I don’t think so.”

“What’s wrong?” 

“We’re all going to die miserable and alone, aren’t we?”

Michael shook his hair. “What? Where’s that coming from?”

“Your mark is so dark it’s nearly black and you and Alex can’t make it work and I know you’ll never really be happy with anyone else, no matter how much you told yourself you could’ve made it work with Maria. Max has never loved anyone but Liz but they’re not even speaking to each other right. And me and Maria? Well the way things are going I doubt I’m ever going to see her again.” She ripped open a straw and dropped it into her water. “So yeah. Miserable and alone. All of us.”

“Well that’s depressing.” 

“Am I wrong?” Isobel challenged him. 

“Yes!” Michael replied. “Look, Max is going to get over his little bisexual freak out and work things out with Liz and Kyle. You and Maria are going to talk and figure out what exactly happened and where it went wrong and then you’re going to fix everything. You’re not going to die miserable and alone.”

“And you?”

“I might die miserable and alone,” he replied easily but he wouldn’t meet her eyes.

“Michael-”

“We had our chance, okay? More than one really and for whatever reason, it just wasn’t meant to be.”

“I don’t believe that.”

“Good for you.”

“Michael-”

“Look. My life is here and his is there. It’s that simple.”

Isobel looked around. “What’s keeping you here? The scrapyard? Your bunker?” Michael just stared at her like she was an idiot. “Me? Max? Michael, you don’t have to stay here for us, we’re not kids anymore, we’ll be okay if we split up.”

Michael just shook his head. “I can’t leave. Roswell is home.”

---

“I really hate those damn marks,” Maria knew she sounded bitter. “If it wasn’t for them I’d still be just fine with Michael. We’d be happy.”

“Would you?” Liz asked, her voice carrying oddly from where her head lay next to Maria’s feet.

Maria lifted her head to stare down the bed at Liz. “Yes! Maybe we weren’t perfect for each other or hopelessly in love but what we had was good!” She flopped back down. “It was better than this.”

“Maria?” Liz propped herself up on her elbows. When Maria didn’t answer right away she kicked her shoulder lightly with her toe.

“What?”

“What happened that night?”

Maria swallowed. “I don’t know.”

Liz furrowed her brow. “What does that mean?”

She huffed a laugh. “It means I don’t know. Last thing I remember we were having some drinks down at the bar and the next thing I know I’m waking up next to her in bed without any clothes on.”

Liz quickly reversed her position on the bed so that she was laying next to Maria, their heads on the same pillow. “Isobel would never do something you weren’t comfortable with. You know how seriously she takes that sort of thing.”

“Yeah, I do. But I also know that I was not ready to have sex with her. Hell, I was still deciding if I wanted to kiss her yet or hold off until I was ready to try and date her. And I know I made that clear to her.”

“I thought you two were dating?”

“What?” Maria pulled back to stare at her. “No.”

“Um,” Liz stammered. “I’m not going to argue with you but from an outsider’s perspective you two were going on dates.”

“We’re friends,” Maria pointed out.

“You and I are friends,” Liz explained softly. “We don’t go for midnight drives out the desert. We don’t have one-on-one lunches or dinners most days of the week. I wouldn’t bring an extra sweater along to Max’s house in case you got chilly after dinner.” 

“But we’re friends,” Maria couldn’t help but repeat.

“Okay,” Liz agreed. “But did Isobel know that? Or did she think you were dating and just going slow?” Maria didn’t have an answer for that. “And this is why you should talk to her.”

Maria sniffed and shifted the pillow under their heads. “Enough about my problems. How’re the boyfriends?”

Liz rolled onto her back with a groan. “Who knows? Not me, that’s for damn sure.” 

“Still haven’t heard from them?”

“Nope.”

“You know,” Maria said slowly. “If it wasn’t for the mark, you might not be in this mess.”

Liz’s head lolled to the side so she could look at her. “You’re right,” she realized. “Fuck these stupid aliens and their stupid marks.”

“I thought that’s what you were trying to do,” Rosa laughed from the doorway. Liz and Maria both threw pillows at her.

---

Kyle paced on Max’s back patio waiting for him to get home. He could do this. It was Max Evans, for chrissake, it’s not like it’s Jesse Manes he’s waiting to have a heart to heart with.

“Kyle?” Kyle jerked backwards in surprise, his foot slipping off the edge of the patio. “Woah!” Max reached out and grabbed his arm to steady him. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. Are you okay?”

Max’s hand was warm on his arm. That was all he could focus on. “Yeah, yeah I’m fine.” He shook his head to clear it. “We should talk.”

Max let go and stepped back, his hand brushing that persistent lock of hair out of his face. “Yeah, I guess we should.” He jerked his thumb at the house. “You want a beer?”

“We had sex.”

“That’s a no to the beer, huh?”

Kyle rolled his eyes. “Can we just get through this?”

Max cleared his throat. “Yeah, okay. So we had sex. With Liz.”

“Yeah, with Liz. And each other.” Kyle made himself look Max in the eye. “And it was good.”

Max’s eyes widened in surprise. “Yeah, it was.”

“Yeah?” Kyle asked in disbelief. Maybe it really would be as easy as Jenna said. 

“Yeah,” Max nodded sheepishly. “I, uh, I didn’t expect it to.”

“Me neither.”

“So-” Max brushed the hair out of his face again. “What does that mean for us?”

“You’re going to make me do this first?”

Max smiled. “You’re better at it.”

Kyle rolled his eyes. “Fine. The sex was nice and I wouldn’t say no to a repeat but I don’t particularly want to date you and I don’t think I want to have sex with you without Liz present.”

“So...business as usual but now we can have sex together too?”

“Yeah, basically,” Kyle shrugged. “And if at any point any of that changes, we talk about it.” He studied Max. “Does that work for you?”

Max nodded. “Yeah. We’re on the same page.”

“Good. Care to fill me in?” Liz asked from the doorway. Both of them whirled to face her. “I was coming by to yell at you for still ghosting me, Evans. Imagine my surprise when I find Kyle beat me to it.” She stepped outside but no further. “So who wants to bring me up to speed?”

Kyle looked to Max but he didn’t seem forthcoming with any answer so he bit the bullet. “The sex was good. With all of us,” he explained. “It, uh, it was better than we both expected and we both sort of-”

“Freaked out?” Liz supplied.

“Basically,” Max agreed. “But we just talked about it and we’re on the same page. The sex was good and we’d like to do it again but only with you present and outside of that it’s business as usual. We’re not going to start going on dates or having sex without you with us.”

Liz looked between them. “So we’re still doing this?”

“If you still want to,” Kyle answered. 

“You- If I-” she let out a tiny growl. “You two are infuriating! Do you seriously think you can run out of my apartment and not speak to me for two weeks and then just say ‘oh we’re all good’ and that’s it?”

“I’m sorry,” Kyle told her. “I shouldn’t have done that and I shouldn’t have ignored you and avoided you. I was dealing with it, poorly I know, but I was trying to handle it on my own before I came and talked to you both about it.”

“That’s not how this works, Kyle,” Liz told him. “We’re partners, all of us, and that means we talk to each other. If you weren’t dealing with it well, I want to know that! I want to be there and help you figure out how to deal with it. But you just left me out in the cold like I was nothing.”

“Liz-” Max started towards her.

She whirled on him. “And you! You did the same damn thing! How can we do this if you’re both just going to run away every time something new spooks you? News flash, I’ve had trouble adjusting to this whole thing too and I didn’t run away. No, I talked to you both and you helped me adjust. Why did you both refuse to let me help you? To help each other?”

“You’re right,” Max told her. “I’m sorry. I should have talked to you, to both of you,” he nodded at Kyle, “and we should’ve dealt with this together.”

“Yes, we should have.” Liz crossed her arms.

“Next time, we will,” Kyle assured her. Liz stared at him. “If there is a next time?”

She snorted. “Please. Between the three of us? Someone’s absolutely going to freak out again at some point.”

Kyle felt the last bit of apprehension fade from his body and he couldn’t help but kiss her. She let out a small startled noise but she kissed back immediately. When they broke away, Max pulled her into a hug and she leaned up for a small kiss. “We’re a work in progress,” Liz mumbled.

“We’re getting there,” Max answered. He smiled at Kyle over Liz’s head and he couldn’t help but smile in return. 

---

“You’re sure this is the right thing to do?” Max double checked before he got out of the car. Isobel nodded. 

“I’m positive. Come on.”

He followed her up to the front door and inside. She didn’t bother knocking. 

“Uh, hi?” Michael greeted from the couch. He was wrapped up in an old Air Force blanket and the current placement of his hand told Max that he’d been tracing his mark right before they walked in. As they stood there, he hiked the blanket up higher to hide it. 

Any reservations he may have had were now gone and Max thrust the envelope at Michael. “Here.”

Michael took it slowly, his eyes going between him and Isobel. “What’s going on?”

“Open it,” Isobel urged. 

Michael still looked uneasy but he peeled back the flap and pulled out the two things inside. One was a check. The other was a plane ticket to Reagan Airport in D.C. Google had assured them that it was the closest airport to Alex. 

It was one way.

“What is this?”

Isobel looked to Max before sitting down next to Michael. Max settled on the coffee table in front of him. “You said the problem was that you were here and Alex is there,” Isobel reminded him.

“Alex can’t come back here, even if he wanted to,” Max added. “But you can go there.”

Michael shook his head. “Roswell’s home. I can’t leave.”

“Why not?” Isobel asked gently. “Because of Max and I? We’re okay, Michael. You stayed here after graduation because you were worried about me and you’ve stayed here since then because we feel tied to this place but we’re not. You can leave.”

“You’re kicking me out of town?” Michael sounded betrayed.

“Michael, this will always be your hometown,” Max promised him. “And you will always be our brother, wherever we are. No distance is going to change that. But tell me something, okay? When you think of home, what’s the first thing that comes to mind?”

“Alex,” Michael breathed.

“Then you should be with Alex,” Max rested a hand on Michael’s knee and squeezed gently. “You can always come back and we can come visit you.”

“You’ll be sick of me before you know it,” Isobel promised. Her eyes were getting watery but they all ignored it. Mostly because his and Michael’s were equally wet. “I don’t want you to die miserable and alone, Michael.”

Michael reached out and pulled her into his arms. She went easily, sinking into his embrace, the blanket getting darker under her cheek. A moment later, Max felt a push on his back and he smiled before giving in and joining them on the couch.

“What’s the check for?”

“Travel fund,” Max answered. “We weren’t kidding about coming back to visit.”

---

Isobel was exhausted when she finally got home, the trip out to Michael’s taking more out of her than she’d thought it would. She made it all the way inside before realizing something was wrong.

“Hello?” she called into the dark house. She grabbed the pepper spray out of her purse and readied her mind for telekinesis.

“It’s me,” Maria’s voice came softly from the kitchen. 

Isobel let out a shuddering breath. “Don’t do that.”

“I’m sorry,” she apologized, the low light in the kitchen casting her in shadow as she stood in the doorway. “I texted you I was coming over.”

Isobel dug her phone out of her purse to check and sure enough there was a missed text from her. She dropped the phone and the pepper spray back inside and put the purse on its appropriate hook. “I’m really tired, Maria. Can this wait?”

“What happened that night?” Isobel froze. 

“What?” 

“I don’t remember.”

Her blood ran cold. She took a step back, horrified. “What do you mean you don’t remember?” The shadow that was Maria shrugged and suddenly Isobel couldn’t do this. She slapped at the wall until she hit a light switch. Both of them blinked against the sudden brightness but Isobel felt her shoulders relax just a little. “What don’t you remember?”

“I remember drinking at the Pony,” Maria said slowly. “And I remember waking up in bed without any clothes on.” Isobel covered her mouth. She thought she might be sick. She knew what that felt like, had enough missing time from Noah, and to think she’d done that to Maria… “So I need you to fill in the gaps. Because I know you wouldn’t have done anything I didn’t ask for but I- I don’t remember asking. And I don’t,” she cleared her throat. “I don’t remember wanting to ask.”

“You-”

“Wait, before you answer, I have to ask,” Maria cut her off. “In your opinion, were we dating?”

Isobel felt blindsided. “That’s the impression I was under yes. You wanted to take things slowly so we weren’t kissing or anything like that but yeah, we’ve been dating.”

Maria looked surprised. “I thought we were just being friends.”

“I don’t typically bring my friends dinner so we can eat together when they have to work late,” Isobel told her. Maria had done that for her no less than three times when she missed their dinner plans. “I don’t usually head out to the desert to look at the stars with my friends,” she added. “If that’s your definition of friends then we’ve had a fundamental error in communication.”

“I’m starting to get that,” Maria agreed. “Now about that night?”

Isobel swallowed. “Um. We went out to the desert because there was a meteor shower and then we went to the Pony because you had to close after your bartender texted you that he had to leave. After it emptied out we had a few drinks and then you kissed me. You kissed me and you said you were tired of taking it slow. And then things just sort of progressed from there.” She crossed her arms over her stomach. “I followed your cues the whole night. Just like I’ve been doing this whole time. Maria, I don’t know why you don’t remember but you weren’t that drunk. I’ve seen you drunk enough to black out and you weren’t. I wouldn’t have done anything if you were. I promise you.”

“I believe you,” Maria assured her. 

“I’m sorry,” Isobel apologized. “I should have realized something was up. You moved so fast from kissing to wanting to have sex and I was surprised by it but you seemed so sure that I didn’t fight you on it. I should have. I’m so sorry, Maria.”

Maria took a deep breath. “It’s not your fault.”

“I should have-”

“Gabrielle, the bartender who left early? Someone slipped a drug into her drink and her sister came and picked her up.” She rubbed her arms. “I think I drank the same drink when I was clearing up. It was stupid, I know, but it was set aside in the section we use for employee drinks and it was full and I just- it wasn’t your fault,” she repeated. 

Isobel hurried across the room to Maria but stopped just short until Maria reached out for her. Then, Isobel gathered her in her arms and held her tight. “I’m sorry this happened.”

“I’m sorry I blamed you,” Maria murmured. “When I woke up I was just so freaked out and I didn’t understand. You were right there and it was easy to pin it on you even though I know you’d never do anything like it.”

“I wouldn’t,” Isobel promised vehemently.

“I know,” Maria assured her again. “I know that.”

Isobel held her for a while until Maria slipped out of her grasp. “So what does this mean for us?” She asked quietly.

“I don’t know,” Maria admitted. “But I do know I want to know we’re dating next time.”

“Next time?” Isobel asked.

Maria nodded. “I like you Isobel. A lot. And even though I’m really not ready to enter into a new relationship, especially right now, I would like to at some point.”

“Okay.”

“Just like that?” Maria huffed a little laugh.

“Yeah,” Isobel nodded. “I told you, I’m taking my cues from you. You already know how I feel and you know that I am happy to be your friend. Anything more than that we take at your pace.”

“Okay.” Maria smiled. “Thank you.”

“You really don’t need to thank me for that.”

“Fine,” Maria tugged her into another hug. “Then thank you for the hugs. They feel safe.”

“Well,” Isobel pressed her face into Maria’s neck. “You can have one any time you want.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

---

“What?!” Alex yelled. It was stupid o’clock in the morning and he did not want to deal with his idiot neighbors right now. To add to his troubles, the banging woke Buffy up and she beat him to the door, her barks probably waking up whichever neighbors had managed to sleep through the knocking.

“Do you know what time it i-” Alex opened the door. “Michael?”

Michael Guerin stood on his doorstep, three large duffel bags at his feet. “Hey Alex. You know any good apartments around here?”

[spacereadinglesbian]

This Is How It’s Supposed To Feel

Word Count: 1145

Summary: TJ and Cyrus continue to talk on the bench about everything and nothing, all at once. 

TJ and Cyrus continued to sit on the bench, hands intertwined ignoring the claminess they we were both getting. The two boys couldn’t help but smile at the fact they were actually together, that after all the drama they ensued, they made it. TJ was in awe, he couldn’t stop looking at the two hands that sat in the middle of both boys, he didn’t know what to do next. TJ decided to break the silence and cleared his throat. 

“So, what now?” Cyrus could hear the shakiness in his voice, not knowing if they were more than friends and willing to put it out in the open. 

“Well we can start off with who knows,well about this I guess.” TJ knew that Cyrus was talking about the unspoken gayness that was their hands, but at the same time he didn’t know how comfortable TJ was, well in his gayness. 

“The first person that I ever told was Reed. I actually told him about my crush on you.” This caught the younger boys attention, a smile being placed on his face, and a little head nod that told TJ to continue. 

“When I invited you to go dirt biking I told him before you got there. The whole time he was making fun of me because he thought I was showing off to impress you.” His voice trailed off into a frailness that seemed embarrassed. Cyrus chuckled, squeezing the older boys hand a little tighter, asking him silently to continue. 

“After Reed, I told my sister, and she was so supportive and even said ‘Nobody with the name Thelonious can be straight,’ and we just continued on with our relationship. And the last person that knows, I didn't even tell them. She guessed. Kira made me choose between you two, and if I had to do it all over again, I would choose you sooner.” Thats made Cyrus smile and he squeezed TJ’s hand one last time before breaking his silence. 

“As much as I love this,” he said pointing to their hands that have not yet moved but are fully enveloped in sweat “I want my hand to breathe a little,is that okay?” All TJ did was nod and put his feet on the bench, sitting in a criss-cross applesauce position. 

“Now Cy, you get to tell me, who knows about you?” TJ was treading lightly, knowing fully that his close knit group of friends knew but not sure how comfortable he was telling the stories. 

“The first person I ever told was Buffy. It was right after my first kiss with a girl named Iris, I knew it didn’t feel right, and Buffy assured me that there was nothing wrong with how I was feeling.” At the thought of his supportive friend, he smiled again, he couldn’t remember the last time he smiled that much. “After Buffy, I told Andi, at my bar mitzvah, and of course she gave me a big hug and told me how proud she was of me, and after that I told Jonah at the shiva, I couldn't have had a better group of people to come out to.”  Cyrus could see TJ’s hand once again reaching out to be held, although his hands were still clammy he took it, and embraced the claminess with every muscle in his body, and then, they just sat there, in complete silence, holding hands looking at the stars in front of a beautiful fire. 

“Do your parents know?” Cyrus once again broke the silence, looking into the green sea that was TJ’s eyes. 

“My mom, she knows. I actually didn’t tell her, she kinda figured it out. After costume day I came home really upset, I was crying actually, and I told her that I switched costumes and felt  awful for ditching you, her response is something I will never forget, ‘sometimes fear eats at you until there is nothing left but bad decisions. Don’t let the fear of your feelings eat at you until you don’t have Cyrus anymore.’ Then we just laid on my bed and I cried with her. She asked if she could tell my dad, I said yes.” TJ stopped himself looking Cyrus straight in the eye, seeing his reaction to the story. 

“One day, will you tell me all about Kira?” TJ nodded his head, placing another squeeze to their hands

“Do your parents know Cy?” TJ knew well enough that with 4 therapist parents you have to hide some things, but all Cyrus did was nod his head. 

“After Bubbe Rose died I told them all, I thought that anything can happen so if something out of the blue happens to them, I want them all to know.” TJ couldn’t help but think about how smart Cyrus was for thinking that way, he couldn’t help but want to show him off to the world now that they are both entering high school, he couldn’t help but think about the dances they can go to together and the snow storms they get to spend inside. It’s like Cyrus can read his mind with his next question. 

“How public do you wanna be?” His voice was low, not wanting to ruin the moment, not wanting to scare the boy he so desperately cared about away. He wants to tell his friends about tonight, how he finally gets a love story after all. He wants to tell him about the way TJ’s hand fits in his like it's meant only for him. He wants to take pictures with him and make it his lock screen but he doesn’t want things to go too fast, he doesn’t want to scare the boy of his dreams away, and that’s when he speaks up. 

“How public do you want to be, Cy? Because I want to hold your hand walking down the street and go to the movies together. I want to experience our first homecoming together and have double dates with our friends, but if you don’t want to be public, we can keep this between us. But if I can, I want to show you off to the world.” Cyrus can’t help it but a little tear escapes his eyes, and all he can do is nod his head, before he gets the courage to speak again. 

“Can we do one more thing Teej?” And the older boy thinks he knows where this is going but wasn't positive until Cyrus moves closer and puts his hand on the older boy’s jaw asking for permission to kiss him, and is granted with an eager head nod. The kiss isn't passionate, it isn’t a sparks flying kiss, it’s a kiss that is emotional and speaks volumes, it’s a kiss that says that I’m no longer scared. A kiss that says, this is what it’s supposed to feel like.

[heart-eyes-kippen]

Jealous

Hello here’s a lil oneshot based on this post:

~

It was late evening and the sun was setting in Shadyside, casting a warm glow onto Cyrus’ bedsheets as he sat opposite his boyfriend. 

 His boyfriend. His actual boyfriend. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever be used to calling TJ that, and every time he remembered he could a jittery feeling filled his stomach. 

 “TJ, you do realise it’s just us here, right?” 

 The boy laughed slightly at that, shifting his position to sit cross-legged. “Yeah, but you only really need two people for truth or dare, right?” 

 Cyrus looked at him in confusion for a moment, trying hard to figure what his intentions were, before resigning with a small shrug. “I guess that’s true. Let me just open a window first, it’s getting warm in here.” 

 He stood up from his bed and padded over to the window, fumbling with the lock for a moment before managing to push it open. Cool evening air immediately began to flood the room, accompanied by the soft sounds of breeze gushing by. 

 Cyrus turned back to TJ, who had a mischievous smile on his lips now. 

 “What?” he asked, smiling as approached the boy and sat back down. 

 “Nothing,” TJ assured him, although the glint in his eye seemed to suggest otherwise, “you can go first.” 

 Cyrus hummed. “Okay then. Truth or dare?” 

 “Truth,” he replied after a moment’s hesitation. 

 Cyrus looked around the room for a moment as he tried to think up a question he could ask.  The sliding door to his wardrobe was opened slightly, and through it, he could see the shirt he’d worn to Buffy’s first try-outs for the girl basketball team. 

 A random idea entered his head, and he was blurting out the question before he’d even thought it through. 

 “Do you actually like blueberry macadamia muffins?” 

 TJ’s eyes widened momentarily. He looked back at Cyrus for a moment, blushing as though he’d been caught red-handed. 

 “Um...why did I suggest this game again?” 

 “I knew it!” Cyrus cheered through giggles, giving the boy a playful shove, “you don’t even like them that much! I thought Buffy was just trying to get my hopes when she said you wanted me to bake them instead of buying them.” 

 “I thought it’d be cute!” TJ argued, but he was smiling now too, “and I mean, hey. We ended up having fun, didn’t we?” 

 “Yeah,” Cyrus agreed, face softening, “we did.” 

 There was a pause, then the mischievous expression from earlier was returning to TJ’s face. “Okay. My go now.” 

 “Should I be scared?” Cyrus asked him, only half-serious. 

 The boy just shrugged. “We’ll see. Truth or dare?” 

 “Truth,” he said, almost instantly. He really wasn’t in the mood to do anything that may require him to stand up from the bed again. 

 TJ smirked. Suddenly he regretted his decision. 

 “Who was your first crush?”

 Okay, yeah. Maybe getting up from his bed wouldn’t have been so bad after all. 

 Cyrus looked back at TJ for a moment, before burying his face in his hands with a groan.

 He lifted his head after a moment or two, before lowering it again. “It was Jonah,” he mumbled, but the words were so muffled he thought that TJ might not have been able to hear them.

 “Jonah? Wow. I mean, that kind of makes sense I guess.” 

 Cyrus looked up again, face tinged red now. “I haven’t for a while, though. I think my crush on him disappeared right around...” he paused for a moment, eyes wide with realisation, “...right around the time we first started hanging out.” 

 TJ bit his lip at that, smiling fondly as he took the boy’s hands in his. “Well. That’s encouraging.” 

 He interlaced their fingers, and Cyrus suddenly felt like his face was on fire. He really wasn’t sure if he’d ever be used to affection from TJ. 

 “Okay, I’m choosing truth for you!” he announced, “who was your first crush?” 

 TJ averted his gaze at that, seeming bashful all of a sudden. “I think that...my first real crush was probably you. When we first started hanging out. I just kind of liked you right away.”

 Cyrus tipped his head to the side, expression soft now. He’d expected some material to tease TJ with, but the truth was way too cute for any of that. 

 “Aww,” he cooed, leaning in to wrap the boy up in a hug. 

 TJ purposely dropped back down onto the bed, pulling a surprised laugh from Cyrus as they tumbled down.

 He smiled down at the boy, eyes sparkling, before dropping a kiss onto his cheek and rolling over to settle down beside him. 

 “Was that game of truth or dare just a tactic to find out who my past crush is?” he mumbled.

 TJ hesitated for a moment, before smiling and pulling him in. “Maybe.” 

 ~

 It was two days later that Cyrus was bounding up to TJ before class, a smiling Jonah in tow. It was morning now, and an icy breeze gusted over them as they made their way up the basketball court. TJ seemed to be dribbling the ball from one end to the other, alternating between hands as he did so. 

 “Teej!” he called out, which had the boy stopping immediately and turning around with a smile. 

 He tucked the basketball beneath his arm as he walked over, wrapping his free arm around Cyrus’ shoulders. 

 “Hey,” he greeted, “what’s up?” 

 “We just got out of Jonah’s early morning ultimate practice,” he said, directing a smile over at him. 

 Jonah nodded. “I didn’t realise you were here, man! You should’ve come watch us play.” 

 If Cyrus wasn’t so sensitive to TJ’s demeanour shifts, he definitely wouldn’t have been able to notice the subtle frown that briefly flickered over the boy’s face. He dropped his hand from Cyrus’ shoulders a few seconds later, only confirming the sudden shift. 

 “Sorry, that would’ve been cool. Next time, maybe?” 

 Jonah gave him a smile and an enthusiastic nod. “Totally!”

 Cyrus looked between the pair for a moment, feeling somewhat awkward. 

 “Um,” he managed, wracking his brain for something to say, “Jonah did really well! There was one intercept he made where I swear he jumped up higher than anyone I’ve seen. And he was across the court in like a second.” 

 Jonah just brushed him off though, smiling vaguely. “You always have to jump pretty high in ultimate.” 

 “How high?” TJ asked suddenly, and a glance over confirmed that he had an eyebrow raised now. 

 Jonah looked at him blankly for a moment, before shrugging. “Um...a few feet, I guess? I don’t know, it varies.” 

 TJ nodded slowly, as though considering the information carefully. Cyrus gave him an uncertain smile. 

 Jonah and Cyrus ended up chatting more, hovering by the sidelines, while TJ continued with his practice. Cyrus glanced over at him occasionally, and whenever he did TJ seemed to make an effort to jump up high to shoot a hoop. 

 Even Jonah seemed to pick up on it eventually because his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Was he doing that when we first arrived?” 

 Cyrus just shrugged, a slight smile on his lips as he watched on. “He’s probably switching things up.” 

 Things only started to get weirder when, during lunch break, TJ volunteered to play ultimate with Jonah. Cyrus came along of course, along with Buffy, and the pair sat on a nearby bench as they watched them play. 

 Sunlight was filtering in through the clouds now as midday approached, but there were still cool gusts of wind that had Cyrus tugging on the beanie he’d brought in his bag.

 “Since when has TJ been interested in ultimate?” Buffy whispered, “and why does he have that look on his face? He knows it’s just practise, right?” 

 Cyrus just shrugged, watching as his boyfriend jumped up into the air with a dramatic twirl, catching the frisbee with ease before landing down on the grass again. Jonah looked on for a moment in confusion, before shrugging and smiling. 

 “That was extra,” Buffy said with a snort, “I’ve never seen Jonah do that during practice.” 

 “Me neither,” Cyrus agreed.

 They watched as TJ continued to pull manoeuvres like that one, beginning backwards and spinning around to catch the frisbee, running forward and practically diving to catch it. 

 Cyrus’ eyebrows raised slightly. “I mean...it’s impressive. 

 “And unnecessary,” Buffy added with a laugh, “who is he even trying to impress?” 

 Cyrus bit his lip at that, turning to the girl with a pained expression on his face. “Me, I think.”

 “Why?” she asked incredulously, “aren’t you two literally dating?” 

 “Yeah, but...” he paused for a moment, letting out a sigh, “I told him about my crush on Jonah.” 

 Shock flickered over Buffy’s face. “Well, that explains a lot.” 

 Cyrus looked over at the field, where the two were beginning to stretch now that the end of the period was nearing, before turning desperately back to the girl. 

 “He seemed fine with it when I first told him!” 

 “Yeah, but then he saw Jonah ‘I’m effortlessly perfect’ Beck and obviously must’ve gotten jealous.” 

 “Jealous? I mean, I wouldn’t go that far,” he scoffed.

 The pair returned their gaze to the field, where TJ was currently doing a handstand while Jonah was simply stretching out his arms, looking over at the boy in bewilderment. 

 “I would,” Buffy said, dropping him a wink before getting up from her seat. 

 “Hey Kippen, bet I could hold a handstand for longer than you!” 

 “You’re on, Driscoll!” he responded instantly, earning him a fond eye-roll from Cyrus. 

 Jonah came over to sit down beside him after a few minutes, and they watched in amusement as TJ and Buffy struggled to hold their positions. 

 “TJ did really well out there,” he told Cyrus, smiling slightly, “maybe he should consider playing ultimate.” 

 Cyrus hesitated for a moment, before nodding and returning the smile. “Yeah, maybe.”

 ~

 “I’m telling you, there’s no other reason TJ could’ve called this ‘emergency basketball practise’ apart from that he wanted to show off after this morning’s ultimate game,” Buffy insisted, as the trio made their way through the hall. 

 Andi laughed slightly. “I’m just surprised Jonah agreed to come along.” 

 “They are kinda friends now,” Cyrus piped up.

 The sunshine from earlier had only lasted an hour or so before being stifled by even more grey clouds, filling the sky and casting gloomy light through the windows they passed. 

 Buffy had her basketball gear on, to fill in for a player that couldn’t make it, while Cyrus and Andi had their phones ready to watch from the sidelines and occasionally cheer everyone on.

 They pushed through the double doors, which closed with a slight bang behind them as they made their way over to the courts. TJ, who had been stretching, immediately perked up and made his way over. 

 “Underdog!” he smiled, pulling the boy in for a quick hug. 

 Cyrus couldn’t help but return the smile, and the hug lingered for a long moments before they pulled away again. 

 “Ready for practice?” he asked him, giving Buffy a playful elbow when she smirked.

 “Yeah! We’ll probably start the game in a few minutes.” 

 Buffy joined him on the courts, while Cyrus and Andi headed over the stands. Jonah jogged in a minute or two later, settling down beside the pair with a bright smile.

 “Hey! Did I miss much?” 

 Cyrus shook his head. “You didn’t miss anything, they’re just stretching.” 

 The distinct sounds of sneaker soles squeaking against the hardwood floor filled the hall once the game had commenced. It all seemed to go smoothly at first, with TJ scoring as he normally did, and Buffy owning the court as she always did. 

 Cyrus cheered them both on for a while, before getting distracted by his phone.

 He felt Andi nudging his side after a minute or two, and he looked over curiously. “What is it?” 

 She nodded her head towards the game, and it took Cyrus about 30 seconds to realise that TJ had officially picked up gear, moving quicker across the court, taking riskier shots, intercepting whenever he could. Buffy looked vaguely impressed, but mostly amused, as she played along.

 He watched on as TJ ran up to the 3-point line with seeming ease and went for a shot, jumping up into the air. It landed almost perfectly in the hoop, and Jonah looked over at Cyrus with a somewhat bewildered smile.

 “He’s trying really hard today.” 

 Cyrus smiled slightly and shook his head. “Yeah. He is.” 

 Andi looked between TJ, who had taken another shot backwards, before turning back to Cyrus with a wince. “Maybe you should talk to him?” 

 Cyrus looked conflicted for a moment, but he eventually resigned with a sigh. “You’re probably right.” 

 The girl gave him a comforting pat on the shoulder, taking a few moments to catch Buffy’s eye and signal for a time out. Cyrus rushed down the stands, which he mentally decided to count as his exercise for that day, before jogging up to his boyfriend. 

 TJ’s face was reddened slightly now, and he separated himself from his team with a confused smile. 

 “This time-out’s gonna be a bit longer than usual folks,” announced Cyrus as he approached the boy and took his hand, “I’ll try to make it quick though.”

 “Where are we going?” TJ asked breathlessly, and Cyrus flashed him a smile. 

 “You’ll see.”

 The room was just as Cyrus had remembered it, albeit darker considering the clouds outside. He pushed through the door, which creaked slightly on its hinges, before tugging the boy inside. 

 “Aw,” TJ smiled, green eyes scanning the space for a moment. 

 The same blue vending machines were still pushed up against the wall, except now they appeared to be closer to the corner. Posters of various colours filled the wall, and there were several dark blue chairs surrounding a round, sleek-looking table. 

 Cyrus was the first to sit down this time, turning the chair around to mimic their conversation from all those months ago. A smile appeared on TJ’s lips as he looked around for a moment longer, before pulling out a chair and sitting across from him. 

 “So what’s up?” he asked him, leaning forward on his elbows. 

 Cyrus hesitated for a moment, letting out a sigh as he diverted his eyes to the table. 

 “TJ...you know I like you, right?” 

 The boy gave a small, uncertain nod in response.

 “And...you know I like you more than anyone else, right?” 

 TJ’s face, which was already tinged red from running around, seemed to turn a deep shade of crimson at that. He looked down at the table, tracing a few crumbs that had been carelessly left behind with his index finger.

 “I’m not jealous I swear,” he insisted. 

 Cyrus gave him a kind smile. “I never mentioned anything about jealousy.” 

 The boy seemed stuck for a moment after that, opening his mouth to speak before closing it again. Eventually, his shoulders slumped slightly with defeat. 

 “I’m sorry. I know I’ve probably been acting weird today. I’m really not jealous...or maybe I am a little bit...I don’t know. I know it’s dumb and I know you like me but I just thought...he’s always been so...then I’m so-“ 

 “Hey,” Cyrus interrupted gently, reaching out to place a hand on top of his, “you don’t have to try to get me to like you because I already do, and I have for months now. Even with Jonah right there. I like him as a friend obviously, but he’s not you. He never will be.”

 TJ’s expression relaxed slightly at that. He turned his hands up to hold Cyrus’, a soft smile gracing his lips.

 “And for the record,” he added softly, “you’re great at sport already. You don’t have to try beat anyone to impress me, because I’m impressed by you every day.” 

 TJ paused for a moment, smiling bashfully. “...Did you like my twirl and catch during lunch break, either way?” 

 Cyrus giggled slightly. “Yeah, that was pretty cool.” 

 The boy got up from his chair then, holding out his arms. Cyrus got up too and happily walked into them, burying his face in the crook of TJ’s neck. 

 “Thanks,” he heard TJ murmur, “I’m sorry.”

 Cyrus tipped his head up, resting his chin on the boy’s chest as they swayed slightly. 

 “It’s okay. Brains can be mean sometimes, according to my step-dad.”

 TJ gave him a fond smile at that. He opened his mouth to respond, but was cut off by a muffled shout from outside. 

 “Have you guys finished arguing or making out or whatever you’re doing in there?! It’s been like ten minutes, bro!” 

 Cyrus looked shocked at that, while TJ just rolled his eyes, clearly used to his teammates by now. 

 “Shut up Harry, we’ll be out in a sec!” 

 They looked at one another for a moment, before reluctantly separating.

 “We should probably head out,” said Cyrus. 

 TJ smiled and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. “Yeah. Probably.”

[thinkingaboutyoungroyals]

Could you please do another Kid!Tyrus fic like Bright. Kid!Tyrus makes me so soft uwu uwu uwu Thanks!!!

Thank you for this! I’ve decided to use this opportunity to write a prequel to “Renewal Of Vows”. So, if you want to know what happens after this one, go ahead and read that one right after!

(A/N: I’m not taking any prompt requests at the moment as I am putting all my energy and inspiration to finishing the remaining ones in my inbox. Thank you for your understanding!)

……..

The sand was warm under his crossed legs and stuck to his skin like they were made of glue. Six-year-old Cyrus liked the feel of it, giggling to himself as he made his Velociraptor toy chase his triceratops.

“Rawrrr, I’m gonna eat you, Mr. Triceratops!” he squealed before deepening his voice, “Noooo, you can’t! I have a daughter!” He made his voice high again, “Then, I’ll eat her too!”

He made the two dinosaurs chase each other until Mr. Triceratops fell into quicksand but was saved by Mrs. Apatosaurus who scared off the mean Mr. Velociraptor.

“Thank you, Mrs. Apatosaurus! Anytime, Mr. Triceratops! Do you and your family want to have dinner with my family? We’re having maple leaves! We’d love to join you!”

“Cy! Cy! Cy!”

Cyrus looked up to see his best friend in the world Tyler running towards him, lunch box in his hand.

The little boy lit up. “Tyler! Where were you?! You missed Mr. Velociraptor almost eat Mr. Triceratops!”

The blonde-haired boy clambered up on the sandbox and sat next to him. “Did he eat him?”

“Of course not! Mrs. Apatosaurus saved him and now they’re having dinner together.” He gestured to the little set up he made of a nice family dinner of the two dinosaurs’ families. “Do you want to be Mrs. Apatosaurus?”

“Sure!”

Tyler moved closer to the Apatosaurus family.

For the next few minutes, with the other kids around them paying them no mind, the two boys played with the dinosaurs. They let them eat dinner, make small talk, and even have a food fight before Mr. Triceratops’ family decided they wanted to go home.

Then, side-by-side, they opened their lunchboxes to get their snacks before they had to go back inside to do more kindergarten stuff. Cyrus shared his Tupperware of blueberries with Tyler and Tyler split his chocolate-chocolate muffin with Cyrus.

“Oh, cool, mom gave me a ring pop!” Tyler took out the wrapped candy. It was blueberry flavored.

Cyrus felt a little jealous. He wasn’t allowed to eat much candy (his mom said it would give him cavities). He tried not to show his envy as Tyler opened the package and taking out the ring pop. It glistened in the sun, looking so sweet and yummy.

Then, to his surprise, Tyler handed him the candy. “Do you want to get married?” he asked.

Cyrus blinked. “Huh?”

Tyler lowered his eyes to look at the sand, almost shyly. 

“I saw it on T.V. last night. It looked fun. And I asked my dad why people get married and he said it’s because they love each other and want to be together forever. That’s why he married mom. So, I want to be together forever with you, Cy!”

That must be why his mom and dad got married too. Even though they always fought (they didn’t know that Cyrus knew, it was a secret), but they’ll always be together forever.

Happily, Cyrus nodded. “Sure! That sounds like fun!”

He wanted to be together with Tyler forever and ever, too! He was his best friend!

He took the ring pop and slid it on his pointer finger. It was a little loose so he curled his finger over it so it wouldn’t fall off.

Beside him, Tyler looked so happy. “I’m gonna go ask someone to be the priest! Oh, maybe Timmy can do it!”

Without another word, Tyler got up and started running. Cyrus let him go, knowing that he was going to come back with the kid whose dad was a pastor or something.

Feeling a little daring, Cyrus lifted the candy up to his lips and licked, tasting the sweet flavor followed by the sourness. He felt a little guilty because he technically wasn’t allowed to have it, but Tyler gave it to him. It would be rude not too.

Soon, Tyler came back, another blonde boy with him, who looked confused.

“Here’s Timmy! Come on! Let’s get married!”

“Okay!”

They took a moment to arrange the dinosaur toys properly, as they were witnesses to this momentous occasion. 

A few of the girls heard about their plans to get married and came by, holding flowers they plucked from the playground. They gave some to Cyrus and Tyler too, telling them that all brides hold flowers but since they were both boys, they both got to have some.

Facing each other, Timmy began. “Um… I’m not really sure what to say,” he said, confused.

Tyler frowned. “Well, what does your dad say when people get married?”

Timmy took a moment to think before nodding. “Okay. I now pronounce you husband and wife!”

“But, we’re both boys,” Cyrus interrupted, glad that he remembered a husband was usually a boy and a wife was a girl.

“Fine.” Timmy cleared his throat. “I now pronounce you husband and husband. You may kiss the bride.”

A moment of silence. A beat or two. No one else talked.

Finally, Tyler broke the silence with, “That’s it?”

Timmy shrugged. “Yeah. Can I go now? No one’s on the swing and it’s my turn.”

Without waiting for an answer, he left.

The girls watching left, too.

“Huh, I thought it was going to be longer,” said Tyler, confused before shrugging. “Oh, well. Can I kiss you now?”

Cyrus scrunched his eyebrows. “We have to kiss?”

“Yeah, that’s what I saw on T.V.”

“Oh. Okay!”

Smiling happily, Tyler leaned forward and kissed his nose. Cyrus giggled, his nose twitching. It was his favorite kind of kiss, his parents did it to him all the time.  

Now that the wedding was over, the two boys sat back down in the sandbox with the dinosaurs. Cyrus put the ring back in its wrapper and put it in his lunchbox for later (so he could ask his mom for permission to eat it.)

They still had some time before recess ended and they had to go back in so they started building some houses for the dinosaurs.

“Hey, can I marry you for real when we grow up?” Tyler randomly asked, as he decorated Mrs. Apatosaurus’ house.

“Really? You want to?” Cyrus asked.

“Yeah! We’ll have a big house and a giant swimming pool!”

A giant swimming pool?! That sounded awesome!

“Can we have a pet dolphin, too?” he asked, eagerly. “He can live in the pool!”

“Yeah! What should we name him?”

Cyrus paused to think for a moment. “Flipper!”

“Awesome name! I like it!”

“Me too!”

They continued to play, making plans for their future house. They were going to have a game room and room just for Cyrus’ dinosaur collection and the kitchen will have nothing but cookies, muffins, and candy.

When recess was over, the teacher called out to everyone and they all went back inside to do some art. They were making houses out of glue and popsicle sticks. Tyler made their future house, pointing out where the swimming pool with Flipper would be, the game room, Cyrus’ dinosaur room, and their kitchen full of snacks.

It was better than the house Cyrus made but Tyler told him that could be their summer home.

Before they knew it, school was done for the day.

Hand-in-hand, the two boys made their way out of the school to wait for their parents, their hands swinging between them. Cyrus hummed a little song under his breath.

Today was a lot of fun!

“Hey… um… I have something to tell you,” Tyler suddenly spoke.

Cyrus gave him a questioning look. “What is it?” he asked.

Tyler looked sad all of a sudden. Cyrus didn’t like it when his best friend was sad.

“Tyler!”

They both turned their heads to see Tyler’s mom waving as she walked up to them.

Quickly, Tyler turned to him, looking panicked. “You’re the best friend I’ve ever had,” he said, quickly. “And the best husband. Okay?”

Confused, Cyrus nodded, anyway. “And you’re the best friend and best husband I’ve ever had, too!” He pulled at the other boy’s hand. “Are you okay, Tyler?”

The blonde boy smiled, but it didn’t look real. “Yeah.” Then, he let go of Cyrus’ hand and gave him a tight bear hug. “I’ll miss you.”

Cyrus hugged back just as tight. “I’ll miss you, too! I’ll see you on Monday!”

Tyler let go just as his mom reached them.

She greeted Cyrus before taking Tyler’s hand and leading him away. Tyler turned his head back to look at him.

Cyrus waved at him and the other boy waved back.

They continued waving at each other until Tyler was in his mom’s car and they drove away.

………..

That Monday, Cyrus arrived at kindergarten with a box of cookies and a watermelon-flavored ring pop for Tyler. 

He hoped that his best friend and husband was feeling better, but if he wasn’t, Cyrus had these treats for him! And he would even play whatever game Tyler wanted that day!

But, class started and Tyler didn’t come. Cyrus figured he might be sick.

He brought the box of cookies and ring pop everyday for a week.

But… Tyler never came back to school.

Everyday, Cyrus waited and waited and waited…

He finally asked his teacher about it, one day, and she told him the truth.

Tyler had moved. He didn’t even say goodbye.

And Cyrus cried, not understanding the hurt in his chest that wouldn’t go away for a long time.

Eventually, he learned to go through the rest of kindergarten and first grade without his best friend. Then, he met Buffy and Andi in the second grade and found his new best friends. 

Soon, the blonde boy who shared his snacks with him, played dinosaurs with him, and married him on the playground became but a distant yet fond memory.

Who would have thought he would meet him again, years later, on the playground, going by the name of T.J.?

[supergraphicultramoderngirl]

vulnerable in oh so many ways

a tyrus oneshot songfic inspired by light on by maggie rogers, based off of 3x13

try not to cry challenge: failed (grab ur tissues)

word count: 2325

—————————

Would you believe me now

If I told you I got caught up in a wave?

Almost gave it away

“You haven’t talked to him yet?” Buffy asked in surprise. She sat next to Andi in their usual spot in The Spoon, with Cyrus sulking in his seat across from them.

“No, there’s nothing to talk to him about. He ditched me for some rude girl, plain and simple. Nothing I can do about it,” Cyrus replied, throwing an uneaten baby tater back in the basket.

Andi responded, “Why are you so worked up about this, though? I mean, when the whole gun thing happened, we had to pry you away from him.”

“That wasn’t his fault. I should’ve figured this would happen, I’m always the second choice,” Cyrus mumbled.

“Hey.” Buffy leaned forward and took his hands in hers, much like when he’d came out to her. “You are never just the second choice, okay? You’re just as important as anyone else. And if TJ chose someone like her over someone as amazing as you, then he never deserved to be friends with you in the first place.”

Cyrus gave her a small smile. “Thanks. And I know, it just hurts, you know? Like, he still chose her over me.”

Buffy and Andi exchanged a look, leaving Cyrus to question, “What?”

“That’s the thing, Cy. It’s weird that he just bailed on you,” Andi replied.

Buffy added, “Yeah, he usually follows you around like a puppy. It just doesn’t make sense.”

“I know. That’s why it hurts so much,” Cyrus murmured, leaning back in the booth.

Buffy squinted then, recognizing the face he was making. The last time he looked like that was when they’d watched Jonah and Andi kiss. “Cy?”

He looked up. “Hm?”

“You know you can tell us anything, right?”

Cyrus sighed. “I know.”

Buffy asked slowly, “Do you? Want to tell us anything?”

Cyrus just shook his head, knowing exactly what she was implying.

“Yeah, not gonna lie, I’m lost,” Andi interrupted.

Buffy put her hand on her shoulder. “It’s fine, don’t worry about it.”

Would you hear me out

If I told you I was terrified for days?

Thought I was gonna break

“Kippen!”

TJ looked up from his phone to see none other than Buffy Driscoll running up to him.

Buffy almost stopped in her tracks upon seeing how, well, horrible TJ looked. His face was paler than usual, he’d acquired massive eye bags, and his hair was messy, lacking its usual overpowering gel. “Whoa. Um, okay, what the hell happened?”

“None of your business,” TJ mumbled.

Buffy crossed her arms and sat down next to him. “When my best friend is that upset, it automatically becomes my business. Why did you bail on Cyrus?”

TJ sighed, leaning back in the bench he currently occupied. “It’s really complicated.”

Buffy took the seat next to him. “I’ve got time.”

Oh, I couldn't stop it

Tried to slow it all down

Crying in the bathroom

Had to figure it out

“So you’d rather to a costume with Cyrus than with me? Have fun with that.”

Those words echoed in TJ’s brain since they were first spoken. He thought he had it all covered, that he was being subtle enough that no one would pick up enough but still touchy enough where he could still express how he was feeling. Apparently not. TJ hadn’t even thought about people thinking it was a bad thing, only hiding it because he has a crush on his straight best friend, that’s embarrassing. Was it a bad thing? Would other people think it was a bad thing? Guess so, considering Kira does, or at least implied that she does. What if she told other people about it? What if everyone thought it was wrong? What if—

And suddenly TJ broke down on the tiles of his bathroom floor in the middle of the night.

He had no other choice, did he? He had to do the costume with Kira, or else he’d be outcasted even more than he used to be.

Classic TJ.

With everyone around me saying

"You must be so happy now"

Cyrus watched as yet another person went up to congratulate TJ and Kira, sighing into his math homework.

Kira had recently announced over Instagram that the two had started dating.

Buffy was gone from school that day, so it was Andi’s job to do some damage control, meaning constant hugs and reassurance that TJ is and always was a dick.

“Stop watching them, Cy, it’s only going to make you feel worse,” Andi said softly.

Cyrus replied shortly, “He stopped trying to text me.”

Jonah, who sat next to Andi, asked, “Well, isn’t that a good thing then? If he was being such a bad friend to you, shouldn’t you be happy he’s out of your life now?”

I should be, Cyrus thought, but I’m not. “I guess. Something about this just feels so weird.”

Andi grabbed his hand to console him. “That’s totally fair, considering you li—“

“No, I didn’t,” Cyrus interrupted.

“Sure.”

Oh, if you keep reaching out

Then I'll keep coming back

And if you're gone for good

Then I'm okay with that

If you leave the light on

Then I'll leave the light on

It had been three and a half weeks since TJ had last tried to reach out to Cyrus.

Both boys had just assumed that the other hated them and just never spoke to them again after that crushing realization. And to be fair, that realization is completely plausible since neither side knew the whole story.

But Buffy did.

Despite wanting to spill it all at first, she kept her mouth shut in the beginning as she didn’t want to out either of the two boys. But the further they drifted apart, the closer she came to the conclusion that she had to get involved. She wouldn’t say anything about their sexualities, obviously, but she knew that they had a bond stronger than whatever Kira was attempting to ruin.

So she got involved.

Cyrus was not expecting a call from Buffy at 11pm, however they’d had late night conversations before, why would this one be any different than their ramblings about various movies or songs or things that happened during the day?

Buffy’s voice came through the phone strong and clear, “You need to talk to him.”

“What? No, there is no way I’m ever talking to him again,” Cyrus scoffed.

“Yeah, but I did. Knowing what happened and watching you drift apart because of it is literally killing me. You need to talk to him, Cy,” Buffy responded.

Cyrus was silent for a moment, the only tell that was still on the call was his heavy breathing into the phone. Finally, he replied quietly, almost a whisper, “You talked to him?”

“I had to, seeing you upset like that.”

Cyrus’ reply was almost pained, “What did he even say? What could’ve possibly happened?”

Buffy sighed. “That’s not for me to tell.”

The two kids both fell quiet for a moment. Cyrus pinched the bridge of his nose and interrupted the silence with, “I think I’ve just given up on this, I don’t even care what happened. I should, I know, and somewhere in my brain I probably do, but right now, I don’t know... I just feel empty about this whole situation.”

“That’s fine, Cy, it’s completely valid for you to be feeling like that. Just, don’t give up on him yet. You guys are too good of a pair to be ruined by some she-devil,” Buffy said.

“Thanks. We’ll see, I guess. I gotta go, bye,” Cyrus replied.

“Bye,” Buffy answered back, ending the call.

Cyrus set his phone down next to him on his bed and sighed, leaning his head back against the wall. He didn’t have the energy to get up at turn off his lamp in the opposite corner of his room, only enough energy to think about the one boy who had constantly been on his mind since that one fateful Friday.

He looked out his window and spotted TJ’s house several streets away. He remembered when they would call each other and stand at the window, looking over to one another, pretending to give the eye contact they’d give in a normal face to face conversation. That was gone now, though, all he had was the light in TJ’s own room to look at.

He didn’t know that TJ was looking over at his house doing the same.

And I am finding out

There's just no other way

That I'm still dancing at the end of the day

Seeing Metcalf kiss his husband on the cheek in the middle of the hallway was the last thing anyone expected to see during school.

Naturally, word spread fast to those who weren’t around to see it, including TJ.

“Did you hear what Metcalf did today? It was so gross,” Kira said, taking a seat next to him at the lunch table. She didn’t notice when he scooted away from her the smallest distance.

“What?” TJ replied shortly.

“He kissed his husband on the cheek in the middle of the hallway. Why the hell did he think it was okay to be shoving that in our faces? And better yet, why does no one else seem to think it’s gross?” Kira complained, laughing.

No one thought it was bad? He could’ve been open about it this whole time?

There really was nothing wrong with him.

With some newfound confidence, TJ began to stand up and responded, “Because, Kira, no one else is stuck in the fucking 1900s. First, you make me feel bad about myself for no goddamn reason, and now this? I’m sick of it, and I can’t be around you anymore.”

TJ walked off, knowing that he could’ve told her off way better than that, but he had more important things on his mind at that moment. More important people.

After making the smallest detour, he headed over the the GHC’s lunch table, chocolate chocolate chip muffin in hand.

He watched Cyrus’ eyes grow wide as he approached them, but before he could stand up and leave him behind, he said, “I have a lot of explaining to do, if you’ll let me.”

“Yes, thank god,” Buffy sighed.

“No.”

She turned to Cyrus and asked incredulously, “No? What do you mean no?”

Cyrus shrugged, looking down at the table. “I meant no. I’m over this.”

“Oh.” TJ set the muffin down on the table, a somber look on his face. “Okay, I’ll just... get out of your hair, then.”

He began to walk away slowly, and Cyrus’ eyes flickered between him and the muffin he left behind. He winced and called out, “Wait.”

TJ turned around at the speed of light.

“Fine. I’ll hear you out.” Cyrus stood up, not making eye contact with anyone on his way out of the cafeteria. As he passed by TJ, he called out, “Swings,” and TJ quickly trailed behind him.

If you leave the light on

TJ took a seat on his usual swing, while Cyrus just stood next to the pole, arms crossed and eyes pointed to the dull mulch.

“Why did you ditch me?” Cyrus mumbled. “You’re the one who asked in the first place.”

TJ sighed, his knuckles gripping the chains turning a bright white. “The day before costume day, I was playing basketball in the park. When I was done, Kira came up to me asking if I wanted to do a costume with her. I told her no, I was all set because I was going to do a costume with you, which is true. I was so excited about it, Cy, I couldn’t stop thinking about how much fun it was going to be,” he began explaining.

“That still doesn’t explain why you ditched me, TJ,” Cyrus replied bitterly.

“I’m not done,” TJ responded, then continued, “She kept pushing, saying that her costume was this great idea. I kept telling her no, I’m doing this cool inside joke with you. And then she said,” he took a deep breath, “‘So you’d rather do a costume with Cyrus than with me? Have fun with that.’ The way she said it, it was like she was implying something, like she figured something out that I wasn’t ready for people to know yet.”

Cyrus had visibly softened at that, now making eye contact with TJ. It was obvious that he wasn’t trying to push too hard. “What... what did she imply exactly, just so I’ve gotten this all straight?”

TJ chuckled to himself. None of this was all straight. He took another big sigh and answered, “She implied that, um, well, that I’m gay. She made me feel so bad about it, like it was wrong. I thought everyone would think the same. Plus, the way she said it, I thought she was going to do something, like out me. So, I took the coward’s way out.”

Cyrus took a seat next to him, laying his hand on top of TJ’s on the chain of his swing. He reassured him, “Hey, you were not being a coward. Sure, some heads up about not doing the costume would’ve been nice, but you were only trying to protect yourself. I know exactly how you feel.”

TJ smiled softly, looking down at his lap. “Thanks.” He then quickly furrowed his eyebrows and said, “Wait, what do you mean you know how I feel?”

Cyrus laughed quietly, “I was not expecting to do this today, but I’m gay too, TJ.”

A massive grin broke out on TJ’s face. “Cool.”

Cyrus nudged him with his elbow. “You’re such a dork.”

“Only around you,” TJ replied. “So we’re good now?”

“Yeah,” Cyrus replied, a soft look on his face that could only be described as fond. “We’re good.”

Then I'll leave the light on

[prose-for-hire]

Trapped

Pairing: Spike x fem!reader 

Request: No, but it was a prompt I found from a list that I now can’t find: “Quit touching me, your feet are cold!” and the gif was very inspiring!! 

Warnings: It’s set morning-after so implied sex, reader and Spike are naked in this but there is no smut. Bickering. 

A/N: If you come across the list the prompt was from I’ll credit the op. 

Even for Sunnydale, this was a weird one. You and Spike had been on a date the night before which was a new occurrence. Usually you would drink at the Bronze or something but he had decided you should have a date somewhere ‘normal blokes would take their birds’ so that’s what he did. It had been great, you had reservations at Sunnydale’s premier human restaurant and he even held your hand across the table where everyone could see. This was new, because you hadn’t found a way to tell your friends, the Scoobies yet and you had been hiding the relationship as much as you could. The date was fun and you loved your vampire, the only time things went awry was when Spike asked them to take his steak back because it wasn’t bloody enough and almost had a fight with the server over it, but he calmed down when he saw a small frown start on your brow.

That, however, wasn’t what was weird. What was weird was the walk home. Spike had convinced you to come back to the crypt (which didn’t take long, you loved spending time with him). You came across a demon who spoke in tongues, Spike was itching to fight it and you were ready to run for the hills. But neither of you could react as the demon managed to push the middle of both of your foreheads with its palm, muttering something in a language you had never heard of before vanishing out of thin air. You and Spike had managed to forget about the strange interaction, however, after Spike had pressed some kisses to your mouth and invited you to the lower-level of his crypt with a suggestive raise of his eyebrow.

This was how you woke up lying on your side, as Spike rolled over and stroked down your arm, leaving languid kisses against your shoulder.

“Time to get up, pet… Scooby meeting remember, can’t have ‘em knowing you were here. God forbid the little gang of white hats figure not everything is black and white” He mumbled, more to himself than to you.

“I’d actually like to stay here, enjoy you a little longer”

“I think you had more than your share last night” He smirked, trailing some kisses along your collarbone. You smiled at his affection, weaving your fingers between the short hair at the base of his skull, knowing you really would have a lot of explaining to do if you were late for the meeting. You reluctantly slipped from being pressed into his body, instantly missing his soft caress.

However, when you tried you found that no matter how much you tried, you couldn’t move out of the bed. You could move around in bed, but not step foot out of it.

“S-Spike I can’t get out of bed” You panicked, grabbing his upper arm.

“It’s the animal attraction, love, no need to feel special I do it to all the girls” he smouldered, not realising how freaked you were.

“Not funny, I need to leave!”

“It’s not hard love, see-?” Spike started to try and remove himself from the bed quickly realising that there was some invisible force keeping you there, “Oh bloody hell”

“I think we’re stuck in bed”

“Oh, somebody get an award for little miss state-the-bleeding-obvious”

“No need to be rude, we’re stuck - you being sarcastic isn’t helping!” You said, removing yourself from his side and trying to move your arm outside of the bed. You couldn’t even do that, it was as if there was some invisible barrier stopping you. You sighed, lying back in bed.

It had been a while and you were lying on your side away from Spike to try and find a more comfortable position.

“Most women would enjoy being in bed all day with her attractive boyfriend” He moved in, running a hand along the curve of your back, making you shiver slightly.

“Boy-friend? You’re practically a corpse” You muttered and Spike realised you were still a bit put out by his sarcastic put-down. Usually, it wouldn’t bother you too much, you knew who you had agreed to date but you had been panicking and he had been rude.

“Corpse-friend doesn’t have the same ring to it, now does it?” You just sigh at this, rolling onto your back. You both stared up at the ceiling in silence for a while, Spike broke first when he saw your facial expression, “Don’t pout love, I’m sorry, alright? There’s no way out and your cell phone was in your jeans pocket-

“-Which was thrown to the floor last night” you finished with a sigh. This was a waiting game. You both scowled at the pair of jeans sprawled near the entrance to the upper-level of the crypt.

Spike pulled you into him as he sighed. Nothing was ever easy in Sunnydale. He had ideas of taking you far away from here, but you would never leave the others fighting monsters alone. He liked your loyalty, even if it meant you were loyal to him in secret. After a comfortable moment spike shifted in bed, his feet tangling with yours as you yelped at the sudden sensation.

“Hey! Quit touching me, your feet are cold!” You protested, moving your legs away slightly.

“Y/n, they’re room-temperature, pet”

“Still, it’s cold in the room…”

“Oh yeah?” He started to press different parts of his body to your back, chest and then face to tease you seeing as you couldn’t escape from bed. You heard a throaty chuckle as you yelped and fell into fits of giggles yourself, pleading for mercy from his icy touch. He eventually wrapped his arms around you, holding you to him and you managed to brave the cold because it meant being close to him. Besides, he warmed up to your body heat anyway. You both closed your eyes, enjoying the bliss of being so intimate with each other.

It had been another hour and there had been another incident to interrupt your bliss, the fact that you were both basically sat on top of each other was starting to wear a little thin. Spike could get very irritated and you could almost match him at times. You were both sat up in bed, leaning against the headboard wrapped in sheets.

“Has anyone ever told you that for a vampire, your breathing is actually really loud?” you shoot him a look, the little things starting to aggravate the other considering you’ve been stuck in such a small space.

“Well, for a human you can be incredibly cold, I’m almost jealous. Some vamps haven’t even got it in ‘em like you have”

“Take that back!”

“It’s a compliment really” He backtracked seeing your frown.

“It’s not! I’m not cold you’re just annoying me, I can’t move from this bed and you’re not helping at all. You’d have thought after all your years of living you would know what to-”

“If you don’t bloody shut up, I’ll bite, y/n, and not in the way you like”

“I’d like to see you try, you’d be trapped here with my body and a horrible headache, not to mention that Buffy would find you eventually” You quipped. There was a silence, you had mentioned Buffy which always annoyed Spike. After a moment, you both looked back at each other, your scowls falling from your face as your mouths twitched into a smile. You couldn’t help it and neither could he. Throughout all of this you were happy to be together even with the squabbling.

“Y’know, we are already in bed, I could always… make it up to you” Your wide smile at the suggestion and the little exciteable nod was all he needed to crash his lips to yours. Maybe less talking and more kissing was the way to go. Your lips roughly met, a tension lifting that had been filled with needling words before. He pulled you closer to him as you slid a hand up his toned chest trying to match his insistent kisses. You were anticipating more when his hands started to trace your waist but something, or someone, stopped that in its tracks.

“Spike! We need your help, y/n’s missing and it’s not like her to-” Buffy was cut off and the three intruders matched your horrified face, “Oh my God! Y/n, get away from him!”

Spike was shielding you the best he could, the blush already rising in your cheeks as he stroked your side comfortingly, his hand hidden by the sheet. He knew this was your nightmare, being caught in bed by the whole gang. Xander, Willow and Buffy were all shell-shocked at this revelation. Everyone’s eyes scattered to the floor as they realised what they had intruded on. Willow hurriedly read through the book she had walked in reading rather than focus on you naked in bed with Spike.

“Yeah, that’s right, get your eye-full before pretending to be embarrassed” Spike said to the group, “We’re stuck here, some big nasty bugger did this to us!”

“Uh, he’s right, a demon cast the whacky on us” you managed to stutter out, Buffy’s glare now trained on Spike.

“Sounds like the same demon we were supposed to be meeting about!” Willow confirmed after you gave a brief description of the demon and what had happened.

“I was gonna say, nobody’s getting into Spike’s bed without some serious mojo going on” Xander piped up.

Spike and you looked at each other, Spike was somewhat disappointed that the Scoobies were so willing to believe that a demon had taken your clothes and thrown you both into bed rather than seeing that you loved him and had been dating him for the past three months. He understood though, so he ducked his head, allowing them to continue berating him in his own bedroom. Because you were so insistent on keeping it quiet. At least this way, he could keep being with you, even privately.

“Um, the spell only trapped us in bed… I got in willingly” Spike looked up, a very smug smile on his face that he tried to hide when you side-glanced at him. You took his hand, squeezing slightly.

“You… what?”

“We’re dating” You confirmed and Spike smiled the widest grin you had ever seen on his face as he snaked an arm around your waist, holding you firmly so the others could see now.

Everyone was silent after that. Willow went upstairs to get the spell sorted, she had finally found it in the book she had handily come in reading about the demon that Spike and y/n had met the night previous. The demon liked to prey on new couples, hexing them in situations that could ruin their relationships. Willow quickly reversed the hex which allowed you both to leave the bed, the others left you to it not really speaking to you on the way out. You couldn’t quite bring yourself to care at the moment though, the look Spike was giving you was distracting. He was so pleased you had told them all.

Suddenly, neither of you actually wanted to get out of bed. You had both been in bed all day, what’s a little more time going to hurt?