#when all of them are like “My favorite food is fish”

[robbybirdy]

So glad past Robby thought to queue up enough posts until this coming Tuesday because Present Robby is sick. Like no voice barely any motivation to think, let alone write. Hopefully, I will feel better by the time the queue finishes up. A little note on what's to come in this blog after the queue finishes.

about 100 more chapters of the Completecy Challenge (Past Robby did me dirty. She played for a week. Without writing, organizing screenshots, or anything. She just played. Jeez, that's just like her. haha)

I am still working on Genshin Inspired Recipes. There are some Fontanian Characters out there that I haven't covered yet, and then there are some Mondsadt characters that I forget about.

Kinda starting a series about creating houses in the sims 3. Look forward to that.

And much much more.

But the first task at hand, is to feel better.

[gender-euphowrya]

the absolute vicious shit people think they have to say whenever the topic of 'picky eaters' comes up ESPECIALLY when it's about children is just sickening

[superiorsturgeon]

out of curiosity, why do you like sturgeons so much?

A chance to info dump about my favorite fish…?!

I grew up in the Great Lakes area of North America, where fishing is pretty popular but everyone knows that fish populations aren’t anything like “the good old days” when people took out huge numbers of fish while messing up their spawning sites. I got pretty into fishing when I found out that I could catch bluegill in the surrounding farm ponds, and once in a while my family took me to an isolated fishing cabin for vacation, but for years I never encountered a wild fish bigger than a kilogram or two.

BUT THEN…

I found out about sturgeon! They were HUGE fish that had once lived in the rivers and lakes all around my home, and better yet, fish almost exactly like modern sturgeon had existed all the way back in the Cretaceous period alongside the dinosaurs, and they STILL EXIST TODAY!!! The fact that small numbers of these huge dinosaur fish still existed made them seem almost like a real-life lake monster/cryptid, except that we had proof of their existence!

Furthermore, there’s just nothing else like them. Sturgeon get big. Like, REALLY big. The record for the largest sturgeon was almost 11 meters/24 feet long, which is colossal for freshwater animals. They have armor plates of bone running down their sides, and at the same time they don’t have bony skeletons. They also have a crazy mouth structure, which allows them to actually pop their jaws out like a tube and suck up food. And on top of all of this, the adults are absolute tanks. I’ve seen skin nearly 8mm thick, and it’s so tough that people make leather out of it, and they occasionally lose fins or even entire gill plates and just keep on swimming! (I found out about that last one when I tried to wrestle a big female out of a river and my hand went straight into her gills. She didn’t seem that bothered by it!)

For a long time I filed sturgeon along with Alligator Gar, Giant Mekong catfish, and Yangtze paddlefish as a semi-legendary fish that may still exist, but I was never going to see except possibly in an aquarium, until I enrolled in graduate school. For those unfamiliar with grad school in the US, it typically involves both high-level classes as well as an independent research project the student designs and carries out with help from an experienced professor. When my mentor asked what kind of thing I wanted to study, I tossed out “sturgeon” as one such possibility, expecting to hear that I would probably have to limit myself to more common/accessible species.

I was blown away when she said “Actually, I think I know a guy…”

For the next several years, I got to ride along collecting wild adult sturgeon, gathering eggs, and raising the baby fish in a lab and in a hatchery. I was holding something that I had thought of as a semi-mythical lake/river monster in my own hands! I got to see a river choked with giants as big as 2 meters long, and I got to hold a 5-centimeters mottled baby whose armored scutes were still sharp and possessed the little arrowhead shape and big black pectoral fins that remind me of Mickey Mouse ears! In the video below you can even see a little heartbeat! (Don’t worry, this little guy was returned to the tank soon after to recover from his anesthesia!)

Sadly, I didn’t find anything super groundbreaking in my research, but my experience DID land me a job working in sturgeon aquaculture! If you’ve ever had caviar that wasn’t poached, it probably came from a sturgeon farm, and if you want to see a lot of big fish up close, this is a good place to do it! I probably personally handled more individual sturgeon than there are wild fish in several sturgeon species. In addition, while the wild broodstock I mentioned above might reach 2 meters and over 50kg, the sturgeon I dealt with at the farm would easily double that, and there were a LOT of them! I got to see sturgeon behavior that had never been recorded in field guides, and even a few crazy one-in-a-million mutations like the infamous “ghost” sturgeon!

I even got the opportunity to cook my own sturgeon meat (Yeah, I basically turned into the Touden siblings from Dungeon Meshi except for sturgeon instead of RPG monsters). I got pretty good at making smoked sturgeon, but the meat is also good on the grill or baked, and people have been cooking them in various ways for centuries.

My favorite part of the job was physically wrestling the big fish! Sturgeon are easier to grab than other fish with the right know-how, but a human-sized fish often has its own plans for the day and won’t always cooperate. I was pretty good at moving the adults by the time I left that job, but it was still a wild rodeo every time!

Even more exciting was how we spawned each new generation of sturgeon. In the wild, they form massive spawning runs in big rivers that in the past would be enough to tip small boats, but in a lab or farm we have to use other means. I’ll spare you the details, but I am one of a small number of people who have surgically extracted eggs from a live sturgeon and sutured them back up to swim another day.

The tldr of this essay is that sturgeon are a big, crazy-unique fish that have been around a long time, and I’ve spent a lot of my career handling and working with them. There’s just nothing like them for a fish nerd and they’re damn cool!

(Clip art not mine, I think @sturgeonposting drew or shared it!)

[swordsandholly]

Cherry Bomb - tattoo parlor anthology

MDNI | poly 141 x fem fat reader | masterlist

Part 3: Bubble Tea

“Hey.” Kyle murmurs, hand lightly grazing over your shoulders to rest on the back of your neck. His palm feels warm on your skin and you unconsciously lean back into it.

“Hm?” You look up from where you were hunched over your phone - definitely not shopping for a new purse on company time.

“Gonna go pick up lunch f’the shop. Want t’ come with? I don’t think I can carry it all myself.” He asks. His eyes are always so soft when he looks at you. Relaxed and bright with that constant slight quirk in the corners of his lips.

“Oh! Yeah, sounds good.” You grin, standing quickly and grabbing your wallet out of your purse to shove into your back pocket. Might as well get something for yourself if you’re going out. “Where are we heading?”

“That poke place a couple blocks up.” Kyle nods in the intended direction.

You follow him out of the shop. The weather has begun to warm more. Still cool enough for long sleeves but the sun feels nice on your face as you trot up the street, speed walking to keep up with Kyle and his accursed long legs.

“Switch with me.” Kyle murmurs, hand flattening on your lower back as he steps to the road side of the sidewalk.

You snort, cheeks warming when his hand remains a few beats longer than necessary. “How chivalrous.”

He chuckles. “My grandad always said t’never let a lady walk by the street. Guess it stuck with me.”

As much as you want to tease him about playing into gender roles, you can’t lie and say you don’t like it. That it doesn’t make your heart patter and your stomach flutter. Growing up fat, you never really got the chance to be treated delicately. Femininely. Always expected to be tougher, louder, more masculine. It feels good. Healing, in a way, as stupid as it is.

God, your inner monologue is embarrassing.

The shop is smaller than you expected. Tucked away like many buildings in this downtown with a short, blue awning shading the teal colored door. It’s surprisingly crowded too, people packed in like sardines and filing in and out quickly. The inside is nicely decorated - a few tables off to the side that no one seems to stay at. They more so seem to act as a waiting spot until people get their food and head out. The menu board is shaped like a bright blue, wall-length fish.

“Ladies first.” Kyle grins, opening the door for you. You roll your eyes at him, earning a pinch to your side in return. It’s almost strange how easy things are with him - with all of them. You don’t think you’ve ever been this comfortable around a group of men before. That would probably make you sad if you thought about it for long enough.

Kyle passes you a little clipboard with a stack of papers to customize your poke bowl and a small pen. He begins filling out three for the others, seemingly from memory. You wonder how often they come down here - if it’s their favorite local spot or just convenient. You look over his shoulder, snooping for the others preferences. Apparent Simon likes a lot of spice. Johnny, not so much.

Your eyes widen as you reach the bottom of your menu. “They have boba!”

“You want some?” Kyle grins.

You nod excitedly. Like a kid discovering a new candy. It’s been so long since you got your hands on some bubble tea - if you’d known they had it sooner you would’ve been in here nearly everyday. Then again, maybe it’s good that you didn’t know.

Kyle holds out his hand. You look between it and his face dumbly for a few moments, clutching your order in your hands before putting the pieces together.

“I can get my own!” You insist. “I don’t-“

“Price’s treat, love.” He snags the paper from your hands. “He always pays when we come here.”

“Oh. Okay.” You chew your lip. “I can at least pay for my drink, since it’s extra-“

He just waves you off and marches up to the register. You don’t miss the fact that he pulls out a very shiny credit card. So it’s not Price’s treat. It’s a company treat, eh?

Not that you’re going to complain. Free poke and boba is a dream come true.

Kyle takes your little plastic number, ducking to snag a now freed up table to wait at. They’re tall, causing you to scramble unceremoniously to get up in the heightened chair. You think you see him laughing out of the corner of your eye, but as soon as you face him he’s just sitting with that usual, casual smile of his.

One of the workers brings over your drinks in a little carrier, saying the food will take a minute longer. You’ve never been patient, greedily grabbing your tea and aggressively stabbing through the cover.

“When do you think John’s gonna let you do your first real tattoo?” You ask, kicking your feet under the tall chair.

Kyle shrugs. “He said soon. I think he’s waitin’ for me to’ be less nervous about it. Plus I need to find someone to do it on-“

“You can do it on me.” You blurt without thinking.

He eyes you. “Really?”

You nod excitedly. “I really like your work - at least what I’ve seen of it. It doesn’t have to be anything big. I’m perfectly happy with one your black-only flashes. That way you can start small.”

“I don’t know…”

“Plus, John says I sit real good. I’m not gonna wriggle and fuck you up.” You chew your straw absentmindedly.

“And what do you get out of this?” Kyle cocks and eyebrow, that slight, constant smirk only growing across his face.

You tap your chin. “Bragging rights when you get famous someday. I got the first official Garrick tattoo ever!”

A surprised laugh forces it’s way out of him, sending him into a coughing fit around the drink he was sipping. “Don’t think I’m gonna be that good, love.”

You reach out, resting your hand over his as a strange wave of seriousness overtakes you. “I don’t think John would take you on as an apprentice if he didn’t think so. Plus, you should hear how much he brags about you. It’s almost insufferable.”

There’s something in his eyes as he gives you another once over. It’s slower this time, dragging up your arm and across your features and back down your other arm, coming to an end where your hand lays over his. Kyle turns his hand upward, brushing his two middle fingers over your pulse point. It steals your breath, strangely enough. He hold your hand so gently, barely cupping it in his.

You wish you could tell what he’s thinking. For all Kyle’s honest and kind nature, he’s hard to read. That perma-smirk hides a lot more than you think you or anyone else realizes.

“Alright. I’ll talk t’John about it.” He murmurs, withdrawing his hand.

“Yah. You better.” You grin, leaning back in your seat just as the food comes out.

[astrowrld300]

Astro Observations

Pt 2

It's so unreal how well Taurus placements can cook. Especially if there's Cancer in the big three. Taurus suns also have natural green thumbs

Cancer suns with Gemini Venuses are in constant conflict between they're ego and what they actually desire for love

This is definitely becoming common knowledge on the internet but all Libra placements that are personal and not generational are gay to some extent. Something about the scales allows them to go both ways I don't know . Depending on the placement and degree, it might make them uncomfortable, or the may proudly embrace it. But personal Libra placements can definitely go both ways

Cardinal signs are obsessed with each other, even though they're so toxic for each other.

5th house and Leo placements really love music. Leo rules the 5th house which is all about music, creativity and fun. So these natives really feel it.

Having your sun in the 11th house is a beautiful placement and creates a selfless person, but its the only placement for the sun to not be about "I" anymore. The sun is all about ego and self, ruled by Aries, but the 11th house is all about the collective, friends and the "greater good". Your ego is also heavily influenced by the collective and how you insert your self into the world.

Taurus moons have round/visible nostrils. They all have a green thumb for cooking as well

Aquarius suns and moons have very square shaped jawlines. Both the men and women.

The best sun+rising combo I've ever seen for Aquarius suns has to be Cancer rising. The blend is really heavenly and harmonious, the Cancer really softens out the Aquarian features perfectly (talking about the women idk about the men). This is only physical though

The best combo for Cancer suns definitely has to be Virgo in the big three. Either in the moon or rising, Virgo gives Cancer this snatched look that blends perfectly with the bone structure of cancer suns. (I'm also mostly referring to women here I don't know about the men) Although physically pretty, the combo creates a super insecure individual

Travel is such a big theme in the lives of natives with personal 9th house placements. It almost becomes the focus of life if there's a stellium.

Having your moon at 17 degrees (a critical Leo degree) makes you hella dramatic with your feelings. They're still valid, but you come off as a drama queen when feeling them.

Cancer suns are just as insecure and attention seeking as Leo when underdeveloped. Even though they're not sister signs they're ruled by the sun and moon, so essentially they are each other inside out.

Pisces is represented by the fish and the suns usually have big/swelled features and look a little bit like fish. Virgo placements have sharper/more defined features and Aries placements have prominent/tighter features.

Neptune aspecting Venus is a very underrated beauty indicator for transits and natal charts

Sagittarius rising are blessed with good luck in life since their chart ruler is Jupiter, the planet of luck. They also have hips on the larger side since Sagittarius rules the hips

Capricorn rules the skeletal part of the body and the native suns really have that skeleton bone structure in the face

Moon conjunct Rising is one of my favorite placements synastry placements for friendships. They are each other inside out and understand each other without words.

The most underrated house for the moon imo is the 9th house. The moon does really well here, there's a natural optimism and lightness to their feelings and emotions. I think this is from the influence of Sagittarius and Jupiter. They're also really funny people naturally and have a kind of intelligent humor

Cancer and Taurus placements are such big foodies. They also know how to cook very well and genuinely enjoy getting fat over other signs. Obviously all signs have the ability to cook, but Cancers and Tauruses make that home cooked comfort food that tastes like the feeling of your mom carrying you to bed.

5th house moons never feel emotionally fulfilled unless they're feeling some kind of fun or pleasure in life.

Taurus suns are the definition of work smarter not harder

Aries Mercuries are so smart especially if the sun is in Taurus or Gemini.

Geminis are known to talk with their hands and Italy's rising sign is literally Gemini...

You can always tell someone is Somali from the size of their forehead and the countries rising sign is literally Aries

Venus in the 8th house natal and synastry is that kind of ride or die love

Capricorn sun men actually think people what to hear their life lessons/lectures. It's really corny but they genuinely think they're helping. They also care so much about their rep but will never admit it. It makes sense because they rule the tenth house which is the house of popularity and is associated with our public image and rep. So obviously when Capricorn is in the sun, planet of self, their ego is closely tied with how they're perceived by others.

Scorpio moons are low key delusional but it's okay you guys had a rough childhood/relationship with your mother

The sexual attraction is crazy when you have the same mars sign as your partners rising sign (example. Leo mars-Leo rising) or if you have your mars opposite to their mars (example. Leo mars-Aquarius mars)

Aries moon women in red or leopard print is so perfect

Your gonna love the sun sign of whatever your rising sign is since the sun will naturally embody all the traits that you admire and will effortlessly be everything you want to be portrayed as.

Taurus risings, suns and moons look like bulls

Cancer venuses can lowkey hold down gemini venuses, it’s really harmonious for friendships. Not as compatible relationship wise because cancer venuses really don’t mess with how gemini venuses love. The love languages are just too different but when there are no constricting boundaries and it’s more of a playful friendship this pairing really works

[puppetmaster13u]

Eeee Glad yall like them <3

Hm. That's a good question about the Lazarus waters. I don't think so, in like a forced way. It might count enough that it's possible for them to do so- but the issue is that Lazarus Waters will kill someone if they're not near death when exposed. (At least that was the rule originally, who knows how things have changed in other comics) If they do get in Lazarus waters or come into contact with it, I do want to say it supercharges their bioluminescence lmao. Like they will light up.

Hunting galas are definitely a thing. And it gets violent I bet. Mouths and hands covered in blood and viscera that'd freak out anyone not from Gotham (or used to it in those that have married in but haven't begun their own changes yet) There's definitely a kiddie pool during those galas too. Shallower water for smaller kids learning or still building up tail strength and jaw muscles. People will be gossiping and their hands will dart out and pick up a squirming creature to casually rip open or snap the neck of before snacking.

Oh my god, Gala foods. There's a whole new level of that. I bet sushi and takes on sushi are common. Easy to hold and to stuff with goodies.

@just-a-madderslife had a fun idea of there being almost raincoat fashion and honestly that's fun. I bet there's a challenge or something of making raincoats that don't look like raincoats. Custom ones that mimic the patterns on their scales and such, dark interiors with flickers of bright colors that almost look like shimmering shapes in dark waters, y'know?

@meowmeowmeowmeow4x Honestly I feel like Damian would know about his less human-ish half from the beginning. Talia and Bruce and co have a decent relationship in this timeline, and I don't think any of them would exactly hide it from him. The Al Ghuls have also had magic run through their bloodline before, so I wouldn't be surprised if Bruce even grudgingly contacted one of his league contacts, or even the Al Ghuls themselves, when the curse first happened. (Heck, maybe that's why they have a decent relationship, communication for the win) So I think Damian would be pretty proud of it, maybe even a little self conscious about how much smaller(& clumsier in the water) he is compared to his adoptive siblings, who have been there for most of their lives.

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(So Anyway that last bit with Clark from @f4nd0m-fun had me in a chokehold that spiraled so have a not-drabble lol) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 The moment Bruce registered what he was seeing, he’d admit there was more than a hint of cold fear that washed down his spine. There was a reason he’d drilled it into his children’s heads to label any food they brought from home. So maybe realizing his breakfast was missing made him panic a bit. 

 Look, he’d seen what happened when an idiot or two insisted on eating something his fellow gothamites warned them they couldn’t. Most did not survive and he could only hope and pray that no one had eaten any of it yet- or if they had they were perhaps immune. Somehow. 

 He’d been on monitor duty for practically the entire night and didn’t want to deal with this first thing! In fact he was this close to hysterically screaming, which any of his coworkers could agree was not a normal thing. 

 Maybe he was speed-walking more than a bit faster than he usually did and was maybe tapping out commands to open up the video from the entire night before. But it was understandable! He didn’t want to get one of his coworkers killed because they decided to eat literal poison! 

 He didn’t care if anyone saw him not-running (because he wasn’t!) but he was admittedly glad that no one saw him quite literally run right into Clark. Smacked right into his front and risked breaking his own nose like he’d done so with a concrete wall. 

 “Shoot- erm, sorry-” Clark’s face was flushed in embarrassment, hand not holding him up from falling holding a pan of something or other that smelled baked. Bruce might’ve still been hungry under all the panic and worry even if he’d not admit that out loud. 

   “Out of the way,” he practically growled, the dread about potential injury and death to his allies making him not care for any type of pleasantries. Even if the kryptonian’s midwestern disposition practically demanded them lest he look like a kicked puppy. 

   Clark looked utterly stricken, already having the aura of an apologetic dog who ate part of the couch while you were away. He’d apologize later, but he couldn’t waste even a moment- 

   “Aw sorry, erm, didn’t know you’d be this upset-” 

   What was he- No. Bruce stilled from where he’d been going down the hall, very slowly turning to look at the kryptonian. Him?! Of all the people in the Watchtower- “Clark,” he didn’t know why the kryptonian had paled, he thought his voice was perfectly pleasant. “Did you eat my breakfast, that was clearly labeled?” 

   Well he didn’t look poisoned at least, though that wasn’t going to stop Bruce from tearing him a new one, previous concussion or no. 

Mermay Special Prompt 3

“Are you kidding? No one goes to Gotham, that place is like,” Aquaman made a motion with his hand, a not-quite grimace on his face. “Like things should not be living in the water, like it should be impossible, and things should be dead, but they aren’t and it’s like, like the equivalent of an undead apocalypse over there!” 

Bruce rolled his eyes behind his cowl, taking a sip of his coffee as the others continued drinking. Socialize, they said, it’ll be fine they said. Well excuse him, but the waters weren’t that bad. Sure there were always dumped bodies, and chemicals from the rogue attacks, but it was far worse at one point.

One thing he’ll always be relieved for is how the… curse (thank you broken statuette back in the beginning of his vigilante career that fused with the other many curses of Gotham) made the people of Gotham actually care about the waters around them. 

Though also, he couldn’t help but thank anything that might be listening for the fact that the curse only interacted with Gotham waters, because losing legs with any risk of a drop of water would be downright annoying. 

“No dude, you don’t understand, no one goes there for a reason! That shit is horrific- someone saw a big thing with bits of rebar stabbed straight through it and still chased after a big alligator-thing!” Oh. Oh that had been him. Oops. Hopefully his kids didn’t find out about this, but they were probably already on the cameras. Dammnit. 

[kachowden]

I usually leave the notifications for tumblr off but I'm turning them back on just so that I'll be notified when you post

Have a gift 🫶

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Yandere!Therapist x GN!Reader

TW: NSFW, Dubcon/noncon masturbation(?), phone sex?? Phone play?? Cameron’s questionable moral compass. Drabble(?)

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶

Warm candlelight breaths amber into the surrounding dishes and furniture. Idle chatter fogs over the dining crowd of businessman, waiters and families alike. The sound of expensive wine poured into equally expensive glass.

Listless honey eyes stare dully at the glamour around him, fluffy lashes draped over in boredom as the group of classily dressed men and women chatter on, high class laughter grating his sensitive ears incessantly.

And yet through all the noise he hears it. A familiar ringtone that brings a sparkle to his eyes and has him suavely, yet eagerly fishing out his phone, cheeks warming ever so slightly at the contact that glows in his hand. His eyes trace the curve of the individuals features, the memory that plays being a recollection of when the photo was taken, and without his knowledge, a warm smile spreads past his lips.

“Excuse me..” his warm, soothing voice bleeds into the tables, his chair soundlessly pushing against the waxed tiles of the restaurant as he stands. “I have to take this..”

“Oh?~ Cameron, don’t tell me you’ve finally found yourself a partner..~ and here I was hoping you’d stay..picky.” A feminine voice calls to him, dripping in tasteless syrup that sours his smile, only slightly. The charming grin he sends back encouraging a small spiel of giggles from the other guests mouths as they watch the very handsome man straighten himself, politely.

“Nothing quite like that…just a client, actually.” He assures, though the denial dries his tongue unpleasantly enough for him to take a quick sip of the sparkling water he had ordered, before stepping fluidly around a waiter who had just reached their table, the smell of fresh food hardly catching his interest as he sped through the restaurant and to his car.

His thumb presses the accept button, and he nearly sucks in his lip with the anticipation.

“Dr. Cameron?”

“Darling…” he breathes in a tone far more than friendly, eyes closing as he hears the laugh oozing ichor into his ear, hardly deterred by the speakers crackle. “How are you? Any problems?”

“No, nothing like that..you just said that if I found myself feeling a bit in my head that I could call. This isn’t a bad time is it?” The worry in their voice sends his mind reeling already, chest stuttering with a shaken breath. He finds himself missing the pressure of a certain garment on his skin, sinking floral patterns into the flesh with each breath. But there was no sense in wearing it if his favorite patient wasn’t there to see it.

The brunette laughs, a charming and warm sound that barely hides the beat of his thundering heart. His cheeks burn and sweat a little, the affects of their voice so close to him muddling his mind slightly, as he eases into the leather seats of his car. Even though he is aware it is just a phantom, he cannot help but to lean into the imaginary feeling of their breath against his neck.

“Hardly. Never a bad time for you at least, My darling. Tell me…what’s on your mind?” he pauses, nearly surprised to find himself out of breath, as their voice begins to tickle his ear. They talk thoughtfully of their day, and he hangs onto every word, responding perfectly despite the way his eyes nearly roll back, and he finds himself shamefully squirming against the sweaty seats of the much too hot car.

“…..I just feel..I don’t know it’s like I’m experiencing this range of emotions but it’s so….I just can’t tell if I’m over reacting you know?”

“Of course....”

He counts his blessings when the phone doesn’t pick up the sounds of his labored breaths, or the metallic click of his belt buckle. Normally, he would find himself with a bit more composure. More decorum, at least in the presence of others.

But, perhaps it had been too long since their last talk. Perhaps he had been a bit pent up lately. Or perhaps he had even had a few too many sips of that wine earlier. But in this moment he finds it too far out of his realm to care.

The sound of their voice is like strings that tie pretty bows around his body. Pulling at his wrist, and bringing his hand lower and deeper into the fabric of his cotton boxers. Their voice carries his fingers into a vice grip around a pulsing hot mess that begs for their touch. And when they pause to check on him, having heard the sharp hiss of air that left through his lips, he nearly comes undone too fast.

“I’m..alright, Darling, just…continue speaking for me. I want to hear more about how you felt when you ran into your friend this morning..”

Despite the gutter that his mind stews in, his thoughts catch ever so dutifully onto their every word, eyes glossed with a murky sheen of lust and adoration, body flushed with the evidence of their power over him.

His thighs shake when he’s close, and there’s only a brief moment of shame that slithered into his mind, disgusted with himself for getting off to their moment of vulnerability, but it’s washed away by the sheer euphoria of his finish, and he barely has time to stuff his mouth with his shirt to muffle the drawn out whimpering moan that breaks through. And still he’s listens. His place in your retelling hasn’t been lost, as if his finger had followed along the words of your story as he read.

And even when you ask him for feedback, there is not a stutter to his words.

“You know darling…I think there’s a lot we could discuss about this. How about you come in tomorrow? We’ll make it an early session.”

[bagofshinyrocks]

Period Comfort

Prompt: How the boys act when their S/O is on their period. [Requested by @weebumochi]

Featuring: TF141 and Los Vaqueros - John Price, Simon "Ghost" Riley, Kyle "Gaz" Garrick, Johnny "Soap" MacTavish, Alejandro Vargas, and Rodolfo "Rudy" Parra (separately) x GN!Reader

Word Count: 1.2k

Warnings: reader menstruates, but no mention of genitalia; menstruation discomfort; nothing else i can think of, but lemme know if there's more

John Price

Always gets you water and a fresh cup of tea once your cups looks a little low.

Finds out what meals are best for someone on their period and focuses on making those for the week.

You two would make food with beef, eggs, and fish (if you eat them); spinach, squash, and brussel sprouts. All the nutritious stuff. 

And then he would make treats for you, especially dark chocolate on almonds or walnuts. Bring you bananas, berries, figs. You felt like ancient Mesopotamian royalty. All things that were also good for you, but were more traditional period comfort food of “sweet”. 

If you really needed to eat half a family sized bag of barbeque potato chips, he would fetch them and put them in a bowl for you. No questions asked. No movement in the eyebrows. A loving smile as he asks what movie you two were going to watch.

 But for dinner, he’s making something without so much… sodium.

Does everything he can to make your period easier on you.

Simon Riley

Doesn’t tell you that he knows you’re on your period, but that shit is on the calendar. Doesn’t want to make you feel like he’s all “oh is it that time of the month?”. So he pretends nothing is different.

He’s always so sweet to you, but he’s especially so when you’re on your period.

There are absolutely no gibes or pokes at the tender part of your heart. And whenever you’re most hormonal (which is also on the calendar), he might not tease you at all. Because one time he was a little snarky with you, and normally it would roll right off, but you were just a teensy bit too hormonal. And you got quiet. And your lip quivered. And he didn’t stop apologizing the whole day.

Any shows or movies he normally sighs about (but still sits down and watches… and gets invested in, the lying shit), there is no fussing.

“Alright, lovie, sounds good. Do you want another cuppa while I’m up?”

Need some quiet time by yourself? He has some errands to run, let him know what you want for dinner.

Just does his best to make sure you never feel crazy when you’re on your period.

Kyle Garrick

When the worst of your period comes in, it becomes the typical night in.

The dumbest movies that you two love. Dessert eaten before dinner. Favorite takeout and all the accoutrement available. A glass of wine or some other treat beverage. Matching pajama sets.

Kyle had almost fallen asleep when you massaged a yummy-smelling hair mask into his scalp, and then pulled a ‘oh I was just resting my eyes’. And then he returned the favor, painting a luxurious facial mask on you. Making hearts on your cheeks, then spreading them out. You were fairly sure he drew boobs on your forehead, but then smeared it out and insisted you were just imagining it.

You give each other manicures, and hand feed the other food whilst their nails dried. Kissing chocolate and strawberries off each others lips and chins.

Once his hair was wrapped up, he’s all snuggled up in your arms. The heat and weight of his body against your abdomen was soothing. And the gentle snoring of the love of your life.

Everything he can to make you feel comfortable and attractive in your own skin.

Johnny MacTavish

He gets up at the ass crack of dawn to go for a run (like a fucking psycho). Once you wake up, he wants to go to the gym with you. Whether or not you work out, or just poke his butt because it’s funny, he wants you there. But not today. Your cramps, or just the general yuckiness of menstruating, makes you want to not leave the house.

So he hops on the internet, and finds the workouts, stretches, and yoga poses that would help you feel better.

The most gentle workout he’s had in his life. Stretching with the speed of tai chi, leaning against your back and chatting quietly.

Kisses wherever he can reach as you two figure out the yoga poses. Sticks his ass out as far as he can so you’ll poke it. Whistles whenever you begin a pose that’s even marginally suggestive. Waggles his eyebrows and maybe even cops a feel.

Double checks that you aren’t overexerting yourself. Stops for water (and kiss) breaks and asks how you’re feeling. What’s helping, what’s not helping? Time to stop, or keep going?

Helping with the physical and visceral symptoms so you’re more comfortable.

Alejandro Vargas

If he can, he’s clearing the schedule for the worst day of the week. Does grocery shopping and laundry before, so there is essentially nothing to do that day when Mother Nature is curb-stomping you.

Spoils you with a long lie-in. The sun has long since come up by the time you wake up to massages and kisses.

You join him for breakfast and a quick rinse off shower, and then you two crawl right back into bed. Leaning against him as he kneads the skin and muscles of your abdomen or back, a movie or the radio as ambient noise.

Maybe you fall back asleep. Maybe you watch an entire TV show. Maybe you putter about and do some light home-making. The goal is that you are fully rested.

I bet science says that you can’t “catch up on sleep”, but it’s still nice to have a day where you sleep for most of it. Especially when it’s curled up in bed with your sweet lover. His hands on you for the entire day, closely followed by his lips.

His whole body squeezing you tight when you try to leave, and wrapping around you again once you return.

Just physically reminding you of how much he loves you.

Rodolfo Parra

Once he sees a menstrual product wrapper in the bathroom trash can, he’s off to make the most professional grocery run you’ve ever seen.

Knows exactly which products you use, and checks which are low. Buys the right medications or products. The snacks that you love (that won’t betray you later with a stomach ache), and the little drink treat that’s for special occasions. 

You swear that he hears the crinkle of a wrapper in the bathroom and marches to the store.

Puts the groceries away while you’re finishing up the breakfast dishes and then offers you the little beverage and maybe a treat.

He guides you to the couch or back to bed, sidling up next to or behind you and kisses you deeply. Arms roaming and then settling in a way that keeps you as close as possible. Pressing against you as if you could become one.

Cuddles in the way that is most comfortable, whether you’re in his lap or laying down. Kisses you all over. Hand feeds you until you’re giggling too hard.

He never wants you to run out of the supplies you need, or feel any less sexy while menstruating. Because you are always so sexy to him.

Posted: 2024 January 7

[zoppa682]

For any nonhumans struggling with species dysphoria, I want to help you all as much as I can. I've been experiencing it all week. It can be quite exhausting and put you in a lot of distress, in my case. X(

Here are some tips I'd recommend to help:

1. Mimic the diet of your kintype/theriotype. You are a shark? Eat seafood. A dragon? Maybe try to burn some food a little (or turn it black like my own preference if you want). You kin a character from [Insert source]? Try recreating foods/dishes from their world or dimension.

2. Listen to relatable music. I'd recommend making a playlist of any songs that feel species affirming/euphoric, or even echo that dysphoria further, therefore turning it relatable. (Few of my favorites are Bones by Imagine Dragons, Control by Halsey, Ancient Dreams in a Modern Land by MARINA, Momento Mori by Fish in a Birdcage, among other songs that feel therian coded to me).

3. Do vocals. Howling, barking, screeching, or roaring are very relieving if you are in the correct space to do them! If you are in a quite space or do not want to out yourself to anyone, try purring, growling, hissing, or other unnoticeable sounds. You have an object kintype? Mimic the sounds of the object, like beeping, clicking, etc. (I personally make microwave sounds just because it is fun). Recite voice lines of your kintype from the source they are in. Mimic their voice and volume to match.

4. Move and physically act like your kintype/theriotype. Quadrobics, mimic the flapping of wings, walk bidepedally, whatever you do, turn your mannerisms and motion to reflect your kintype/theriotype.

5. Dress like your kintype/theriotype. Is your kintype a character? Cosplay them, or mimic their clothing style, clothing color, hairstyle, etc. If they have tattoos, scars, or patterns on their body, copy them on your physical form with paint or pens. (PLEASE USE NON TOXIC MATERIALS. STUFF SAFE FOR YOUR HUMAN SKIN.) Are you a species of animal(s)? Dress in your species' colors, or, once again, paint or color yourself like it/them. Are you perhaps any other form of creature or object? You can use the same tips as the others, and another idea that works for all is that you can buy costume pieces of your kintype/theriotype. Masks, headbands, just normal clothing in general, the options really are infinite.

6. Express your dysphoria through artwork. I love doing art when I am heavily species dysphoric. Drawing, crafting masks, origami, painting, collages, all are forms of art. If you are skilled in music, then you could even create some songs of your own!

7. Go out and explore nature. This one is mainly targeted towards therians, whose types are grounded on the life on earth rather than other dimensions or universes, but just like the other methods, it can be universally used by any types of nonhumans. Collecting things is my favorite way of exploring nature. Collect rocks, shells, sticks, leaves, bugs, plants, anything that makes you feel more comfortable in your own (unfortunate) physical body. Stay grounded in the world around you and you may find the dysphoria slips away. Hiking and going on short walks can also help, building a den, smelling the scents of the outdoors. All great ideas that I personally recommend.

8. Write about your feelings. Whether you are good at expressing yourself through poetry, you keep a diary/journal, or you can project onto OCs for new backstory lore like I do, writing can truly help with any dysphoria. Not only that, but it is sometimes refreshing to come back later and read about what you were feeling before. It can serve as a great reminder that you are a powerful being and you will always overcome the feelings if you try.

9. Research about your kintype/theriotype. It does not matter if you are an animal, concept, or object from earth, a being from fantasy, or a character from the greatest book or show, you learn something new every day. So why not learn about yourself? Read books or watch animal documentaries of your theriotype(s), same thing for you otherkins and your fantasy species. Fictionkins can look up facts about themself as a character, their book, show, game, etc.

10. Talk and interact with other alterhumans/nonhumans. Remember, we are a community, and while you are experiencing horrible episodes of species dysphoria, there are many other beings going through the exact same thing at the exact same time. So why not talk to them about it? Share your experiences, help eachother cope, you may even connect with more individuals that way, building more relationships with others and meeting new beings.

11. Past life meditation. If you are a nonhuman who has a past life/lives, you may find comfort in meditation, where you can truly tap into what you once were, and still are in this life as well. Look to the forgotten, and turn in to remembered. Open up your past and live over again.

12. Listen to sounds. Nature sounds, voices of other characters you know from your world, vocals or sound effects of your kintype. These are all good options to turn to if you want to feel at ease with yourself.

13. Let your emotions out. Sometimes this is all you really need to do when species dysphoria hits hard. Cry, bite things, claw at pillows, LET IT OUT. There is absolutely no problem in being yourself and expressing your heavy emotions in your own, unique, nonhuman way. You may find you feel much better after.

That's all I've got, but I hope whoever/whatever reads this far has an amazing day/night. You are an amazing being, thank you for embracing yourself and living authentically. <3

[beiasluv]

grid of in-laws | o. piastri (81)

a/n: im thai, so definitely not self-inserting here 🤭

yn_albon

liked by oscarpiastri, lilymhe and 86,107 others

yn_albon mum and dad 🤷‍♀️

view all 14,186 comments

lilymhe my baby 😘

yn_albon 🫶🫶

alex_albon remember I always have the pictures

yn_albon 😔 I’m sorry my dearest brother

username hello?? What pictures??

username don’t be shy, tell usss

username Oscar, what are you doing here??

username he’s trying to rizz her up or what?

username im praying that they are dating

username BROTHER what are you high on?

username TELL ME YOU DONT HAVE TWITTER

username yall think that if they’re not dating, oscar’s gonna be a creep and like all of her pics for nothing?

username MOST men do that. Oscar’s my pookie tho

username yeah, exactly. dating.

yn_albon’s private story

reply

alex_albon: don’t you think it’s time for a public story? 🙄

: im going to combust from embarrassment

alex_albon: please, when lily posted me-

: you jumped around the room and kicked your legs. I know 😔

alex_albon: yeah, time to think about it. also, call mum tonight

: mkayy

lilymhe

tokyo, japan

liked by yn_albon, alex_albon and 127,041 others

lilymhe the albons’ lost in tokyo!!

view 34,617 comments

yn_albon we’re all lost 😔

alex_albon says the one with your own japanses translator

yn_albon yeah, can’t hear you

username EXCUSE ME??

username OSCAR???

yn_albon 🫶🫶

alex_albon back off🤺🤺

lilymhe she’s just my baby 😔

username EXCUSE ME? Who can speak japanse in the gird? Oscar mf piastri

username exactly what I was thinking!!

username yuki rn 🧍‍♂️

username didn’t oscar and lando went out in tokyo today as well???

username FUCKING HELL YES HELLO? I’M HAVING AN ASTHMA ATTACK

landonorris

tokyo, japan

liked by mclaren, yn_albon and 782,106 others

landonorris lost in japan 👊

view all 185,106 comments

alex_albon copying each other’s pose kings

liked by yn_albon

landonorris tbf, it wasn’t taken by the same person 🤷‍♂️

oscarpiastri i called that pose first

georgerussell63 nice food mate 👊

landonorris nah, they didn’t get me

username THEY WHO? Oscar and who??

username tell me SOMETHING i DONT know

username so we’re all here from lily’s post huh 😭

username yn liked the post 🤷‍♀️

username wait, YN AND LANDO FOLLOW EACH OTHER??

username she’s pretty close with the 2019 rookies ig

yn_albon

chinatown, bangkok

liked by oscarpiastri, alex_albon and 76,127 others

yn_albon we ate ✌️💅

view all 21,701 comments

alex_albon thanks for copying my pose, be original 👊

yn_albon lily come get yo man please

lilymhe right away 🫡

landonorris good food 🙌

yn_albon still can’t make you try fish 😔

landonorris sorry, it’s never happening 🤷‍♂️

username please tell me yn brought oscar with her 😭

username white boy getting dragged to asian street food by his gf, my favorite trope

username *and traumatizing him

yn_albon I swear I fed him the right food 😔😭

username SHUT UP GUYES ITS CONFIRMED

username yn feed my boy pad thai

username naur that’s basic asf 😭

alex_albon

liked by logansargeant, oscarpiastri and 510,418 others

alex_albon back home with my favourite person and some thai local i guess 🤷‍♂️ (jk, love you both)

view all 218,177 comments

yn_albon yeah, love you too 🤺

lilymhe you don’t play mermaids with us 👎

yn_albon right??? I’m sorry for not training him harder 😔✊

alex_albon i apologise 😭

username boooo, alexxxx

username oscar has been real quiet since the bangkok post??

username SO lando went with them which only makes sense if oscar ALSO went with them yk??

username I KNOW what y’all are thinking

oscarpiastri

phuket, thailand

liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc and 751,168 others

oscarpiastri thanks to a local guide ��🇭

view all 386,109 comments

username ITS FUCKING OFFICIAL OSCAR POSTING

username sad day to be an oscar fan 😔

username GOOD DAY to be an oscaryn shipper

username shut UP is that yn??

username YES‼️ where have you been???

username alex just posted them going to phuket, so 2+2 🤷‍♀️

username i mean he already went out to tokyo with the albons, so what’s the chance

yn_albon

liked by alex_albon, lilymhe and 282,156 others

yn_albon golfing or we balling‼️

view all 98,716 comments

landonorris Oscar is literally 🧍‍♂️

yn_albon exactly

oscarpiastri I am not a professional golfer 🤷‍♂️

alex_albon who won??

yn_albon you😔

yn_albon only because lily is not playing 🤷‍♀️

username PUT HIM BACK SIS!!

lilymhe

liked by yn_albon, alex_albon and 96,267 others

lilymhe serious dinner…

view all 17,817 comments

alex_albon very serious indeed…

yn_albon what are y’all on about? 😭

username PLEASE IS THIS THE IN-LAWS DINNER WE WERE BEGGING FOR

username ‘serious dinner’ my ASS 😭

yn_albon

liked by georgerussell63, landonorris and 396,691 others

yn_albon race week dump ig 😦

view all 91,178 comments

alex_albon ITS HAPPENING

landonorris WHAT IS HAPPENIF

landonorris WHY IS OSCAR JUMPIN

landonorris OH.

username george, blink if you’re the third wheel

username NAH LOGAN AS WELL 😭

oscarpiastri

liked by landonorris, logansargeant and 627,182 others

oscarpiastri guess we did have a dinner..

comments on this post have been limited

yn_albon’s story | oscarpiastri’s story

reply

alex_albon: THANK GOD

the longest one yet. it took me so long because I keep undoing and editing (perfectionist af)

request is open-ish because I’m done with exams!! jenson dilf incoming?? 😬

anyways, hope y’all enjoyed it. like, reblog, COMMENT, or anything if you liked it. If not, y’all better lock yo door.

today’s a good day to take care of yourself!!

[oshinsimblr]

hey friends! i was unable to post all of my early access content bc i'm sick. but i was able to post this video, which in my honest opinion are the major features in this 'romance' pack.

IS IT WORTH $40?

DEPENDS ON HOW BADLY YOU NEED THESE FEATURES TBH.

this review is brought to you by the ea creator network. all of my opinions are my own. i must disclose this per FTC guidelines #ad.

*i do not cover everything in the pack, only the things that stood out for me lol. i'm sorry i'm not used to doing full reviews up here

the attraction system is helpful and expands dating (which is great, but we've had mods that could do this for some time: pick your poison). the romantic satisfaction is the star here. i love being able to create one sided relationships and actually take care of our romantic relationships with sims. this is a valuable feature for me!

cupid's corner is a nice "hey i don't need this mod" anymore type of feature. prior to this i was using lumpinou's meet & mingle which allowed me to meet with sims (platonic and romantic). i dislike that you can not write custom bio's for your sims. i love the way the app functions, i love saving sims and adding them to our rel. panel - and getting to know them through the phone first. i wish we could've defined our sims favorite music/foods/color etc.

i'll admit it, i'm a sucker for dynamics. family dynamics from the sims 4 growing together are so good (minus the fact that everyone wants to be f*cking jokesters after one joke lol). but i love them! they really do impact my sims relationships. the different romance dynamics are interesting. for example: a strained romance dynamic makes it VERY hard for your sims to communicate. it's like your sims will randomly hug each other, but then 5 secs later they're upset. they want to love each other so badly but they can't lol.

now onto random things that excited me. you can go to cupid's couples counseling. i did not know we'd actually be able to answer questions. these sims had a strained romance dynamic and it was so bad - the therapist suggested we come back. but when i tried to schedule it again, they were booked and i had to wait to schedule another appt. which is great, because in the meantime your sims are going downhill fast and you have to keep the peace until then (if you choose).

there are new pop ups and invites. there's even one for a reality dating show lol. you can turn these off in game settings. (if you're wondering, mr. landgrabb never showed up at the motel he wanted to meet at. he stood my sim up. don't judge me, i thought there was simoleons involved).

new crafted dates are cool. you can choose whatever you want to do on them. there's new social interactions based on the activities you choose. you can also invite other sims to these (double dates woohoo!) you can also create crafted hangouts. i like these, i got this cute picture as a reward after a succesful crafted hangout. if you're familiar with mws weddings, it's the same idea. except this works well and isn't as glitchy lol..

another random feature i never needed, but now i find it useful. you can create your own relationship label that will appear in the rel. panel

it's unfair how gorgeous this world is... because there's nothing to do. this is all set dressing.

you can declare your love here.. at the wall of love.

you can buy flowers or edible sweet treats at this shop in the background.

you can get local food here. there are 3 new dishes and spicy hot chocolate. now, i'm not mexican (the world is inspired by mexico) BUT 3 new foods isn't cutting it for me. technically only 2, because one is a vegan option. no pozole, enchiladas, guacamole, tamales?? i'm a foodie, so i take full offense to that.

you can woohoo or sleep at the motel.

you can travel.

go fishing or enjoy a swim.

sit here and chat.

view this for a moodlet.

travel again.

check in a penthouse.

there's a nightclub, gym and lounge. but you get the idea.. there's nothing culturally unique about this world which makes me sad. no festivals? i'd love seeing a mariachi band play at the lounge. something. otherwise, keep the world and add more features right? i would've loved table proposals (sims 2 anyone?). or frisky couch makeouts. so many missed opportunities here.

there's more i could say but i feel like this post should be a little helpful in deciding wether this is a pack you need right now, or wait for a sale! i personally love having a complete colection, so i've always wanted every expansion. though i recieve the pack for free, i owe you my honesty and i want to start doing blog/written content because it's easier to process my thoughts through the excitment. i will enjoy this pack, i do like it, and only time will tell as i integrate it with my current gameplay. i hope this was helpful!

* if you remember, use my code OSHINSIMS at checkout if you decide to purchase this pack. that way, at least i get a % of your purchase and EA doesn't get all your coins 😉

thank you! just keeping simming, always stay wavy, peace x

[mrsparrasblog]

Randome TF141 headcanons

Some of them are weird. But I just know.

Price:

Never go to the toilet after him

has a hut in the forest for fishing but mostly ends up fucking a local in there

because this man is a whore

he is still the most loyal when he is in a relationship

his favorite food is Shepard's pie or red jelly but not the green one and no one understands why

has so hard Daddy issues that he fathers everyone

uses AXE dark temptation to get rid of the cigar smell in his house

smells like Tom Ford tobacco vanilla

his love language is gift - giving and acts of service

NSFW:

he is a munch everyone knows it but still he is the biggest munch

Breeding kink

He is a whore but just because he thinks he doesn't deserve more than a one nighstands , please give this man a soft wife to dot on - preferably me

he hates Anal sex but riming is okay in his cards

says he is straight but bottomed Simon and Johnny on many occasions and likes to get blowies from or favorite pretty boy :)

prefers hair down there

Ghost:

He only Shops at Lidl you will never see him at Tesco or Sainsbury, even with all the coupons and tricks Lidl is cheaper. You will never see him somewhere else.

He hates London with all his heart, if there were a hate page for London he would be the admin. Dirty tube, bad football, and too many tourists.

He has a deep hate against a parrot, if parrots have zero haters he is dead.

Read Jane Austin and enjoyed it.

Has a book of stupid jokes in his apartment and laughs about them

When he is in love he is the cutest man alive, but somehow still creepy, he knows your favorite things in everything even your favorite underwear company even tho you never told anyone.

uses 5 - 1 shampoo .... from Lidl (still very keen on hygiene) 

NSFW 

He watches stepsiblings' porn unapologetically 

Has a mommy kink. I could go into heavy detail about it

He isn't a rough lover more of a service Dom 

Doesn't care about hair down there

Soap: 

He sometimes feels left out in his family, his siblings have children and "normal" jobs. His family doesn't see his lifestyle as something to be proud of

Except for his mom, he is such a momma boy but in a good way.

Was a sperm doner once (more than once) but only because he is a good guy with fertile genes 

His mohawk was an accident, he decided it looked "fresh" so it stayed.

Watches DC instead of Marvel...... why?

Uses Hugo Boss, bottled Night, got it from his grandma, and never used anything else

NSFW: 

Gaz was his BI awakening: after las Almas and the broken shoulder he couldn't wank himself properly, and he got so frustrated because he couldn't even sleep properly with a woman because of it, and he didn't just want to go to the Pub and say "Hey my shoulder is broken can you wank me". So in his half-drunk state, he asked Gaz. And after promising each other they would never talk about it, Kyle did help him. Johnny never cummed that fast. He isn't sure if it was because of Kyle's skilled hands, Kyle's fucking hot body, or that he didn't have a wank in two weeks. And when Kyle licked his cum that was his awakening that he likes men and Women. Of course, he returned the favor after he was healed:)

His favorite porn category is Woman Masturbating or Male Masturbating, everything that is solo is 100000 times better than "real porn".

He lost his Virginity very Young to an older Woman. Johnny always flexed about this, but this isn't a reason to flex.

When you sleep with him - you need to be on the pill because he is mister fucks so hard that every condom breaks.

He wears lingerie sometimes - he pulls it better off than some of us :(

cums way too fast but can last like 4-6 rounds 

loves tit fucking

Gaz: 

smells like Bleu de Chanel 

had a more expensive skincare routine than you 

he loves skincare 

He grew up with two moms.

He loves listening to Taylor Swift. No one can convince me otherwise.

Is deeply in love with me

He played Rugby in school. If he hadn't joined the Military, he would be a professional Rugby player.

Kyle was still somehow that awkward kid in class. Even needed to change the school because he got bullied.

NSFW:

He was disappointed in Johnny's cock sucking skills, but Price is a different breed.

can pull anyone and is mister give everyone an orgasm, not once in his life did he let his lover unsatisfied

had a foursome once when he was like 23, with three girls who were obsessed with him, and who can judge them

he is a guy who doesn't kiss and tell

his fav porn category is Anal Sex

has a CNC kink but is afraid to ask

is shaven down there but doesn't care if you are or not.

I have so much more ahhhh

[eevees-hobbies]

Watching Fireworks with Your Hashira Boyfriend

Content Warning: Fluff. Reference to intimacy with Gyomei but nothing major. Also, gender neutral.

Contains: Obana Iguroi, Kyojuro Rengoku, Tengen Uzui, Sanemi Shinazugawa, Gyomei Himejima & Giyu Tomioka

Obanai Iguro

Isn’t this the spot…? You find yourself questioning your conversation with Obanai as you look around for any sign of the Serpeant Hashira. You’re standing on the only small hill that overlooks the Hashira Estates; you both agreed to meet at this exact location to get a better view of the fireworks.

Blue and yellow dual-colored eyes look down at you, amusement hidden by the bandages wrapped around the lower half of his face. “When will you stop falling for this trick?” Obanai’s smooth voice travels from above you, and your head snaps up.

Fuck, when WILL I stop falling for this trick? 

“I knew you were there along! But hey…I thought we were watching the fireworks together?” 

“This angle is far superior,” he responds cooly, his gaze never leaving you.

You huff and look at the ground. Guess we aren’t sitting next to each other for the show. Your sulking session is interrupted as the ground disappears beneath your feet, and your nose is unexpectedly pressed against his uniform. For an instant, you feel like you're floating until Obanai sits you carefully on the thick branch that originally housed only him. Your brief disappointment in not having his arms wrapped around you quickly dissipates as the first firework launches into the sky, illuminating his face a dazzling yellow.

“You’re right. This is the far superior angle,” you smile and take his hand into yours. 

Kyojuro Rengoku

Kyojuro Rengoku is a pure romantic, so it’s no surprise that he approaches you first about the fireworks show before it even crosses your mind. 

“Y/N! You must accompany me on a date to see the fireworks!”

You enthusiastically agreed, but when you offered to bring snacks to share and enjoy while you watched, Kyojuro insisted that you should not worry about planning anything.  

You wait patiently at the agreed-upon location, but Kyojuro is nowhere to be found. Ten minutes pass before you see him heaving two large baskets in your direction and a large blanket under his arm. “Sorry, I’m late! Turns out packing a basket with copious amounts of food is its own skill!” He drops both baskets at your feet with a loud thud.

“Kyo! A picnic. I’m flattered, but you could have asked for help.” Kyojuro spreads the blanket out before you both and carefully unloads the baskets' contents. He’s brought all your favorites—sweet, fried, salty—and even has warm drinks in small thermos containers.  

“I did not want you to worry about anything, my flame! Please sit.” He pats the space next to him; you lower yourself onto the blanket and lean your head on his shoulder. “I love you,” you whisper as a cool chill makes you shudder. Not missing a beat, Kyojuro whips his Haori from his shoulders and transfers it to your own.

“Kyo, you’re perfect, you know that?”

He blushes but smiles at you nonetheless, “I’ve never thought of myself as that, but it pleases me that you see me that way! Now, what should we eat first and might I be so bold to ask you if I can feed you?”

Tengen Uzui

What’s flashier than fireworks? Only the God of Festivals himself! Tengen is fucking stoked for the firework show and lets you know that it’s his tradition to watch them every year, and while none of his wives like to attend, he’d enjoy it if you watched with him! 

Unfortunately, a Kasugai crow arrives two days before the light show, instructing Tengen to head North in search of a demon that is hunting children in a small fishing village. Duty calls, but of course, it’s a significant blow to your intended plans.

Tengen leaves on his mission but only after telling you that you should watch the fireworks anyway. Who knows, depending on where he is, you both might be watching at the same time, and that’s kind of exciting, too, right? 

So, on the night of the fireworks show, you perch yourself on a small wall and look up at the sky, your mind wandering and wondering what Tengen is doing at that exact moment. You shiver, a sudden presence envelopes you and pulls you into an embrace from behind. 

“Hey, beautiful. I wouldn’t miss this for the world.” 

Your body melts into his chest as the first fireworks fly into the night sky. You don’t have to look back to see the joy that overtakes his features—you can just feel it.

Sanemi Shinazugawa

Does Sanemi enjoy fireworks? Not especially. He thinks they’re too loud and hates it when the air gets polluted with so much smoke it makes his eyes burn. Those may seem like silly reasons, but there’s also a more relevant explanation for his disdain, which has to do with demons. At one point, he fought a demon that was using the cover of fireworks to devour villagers; the loud pops and smokey environment created the perfect storm. 

Regardless of those reasons, he’d never tell you that he hates fireworks, and as he glimpses over at you, the pure joy written all over your features as a firework whizzes into the air and explodes into blue-like gems that cascade downward from the sky. He thinks that, in some instances, fireworks may be okay. 

Sanemi pulls you into his lap and rests his face in the nape of your neck. “Nemi!” you protest, “you’re going to miss the show.”

“Naw, I’m good like this.” He snakes his arms around you and allows himself to exist—and relax—in this moment with you.

Gyomei Himejima

“That one was beautiful, Gyomei.”

“Describe it to me.”

You search for the right words to describe the light show in front of you—you always thought you were decent with words until you met Gyomei who made it a habit of asking you to describe things that had always felt painfully ordinary. It wasn’t until you started to describe the world around you with vibrancy and depth that you began to appreciate the beauty of the world around you. 

"Well, those lights, in particular, were a bright orange and crimson color and…you know how when we wake up in the morning, you can feel the sun touching your face as it peeks in through the window; how the rays feel gentle, warm, and exactly like what you need to start your day on a good note? That’s what those colors feel and look like, to me.”

You blush, hoping your descriptions are enough to paint a picture for him. Gyomei doesn’t need you to describe things to him, especially with his enhanced senses, but your honeyed voice never ceases to stir something in him, so he makes you narrate—a lot.

Gyomei hums approvingly, “thank you, my sweet girl. But I hate to admit that when I wake up every morning, I no longer associate the sun with warmth. For me, you and your presence embody every bit of warmth I feel.” 

“Gyomei,” your voice dripping with warning. “Keep talking like that, and we’ll be cutting this show short.”

Gyomei chuckles, knowing that you’re half teasing and half threatening him—and while usually, he’d never turn down a heated romp with his beloved—he’s enjoying being here with you in a rare moment of respite from his Hashira duties. He takes your hand into his, rubbing his thumb gently against your palm. “My apologies. I’ll contain myself for now. Please, don’t stop. Keep describing them to me.”

Giyu Tomioka

“This is a date?” He says in his deadpan voice. You suck in a large amount of air, getting ready to verbally admonish him for being such a smart ass, but the corners of Giyu’s mouth twitch upward, “kidding.”

“You’re not even as remotely funny as you think you are, Tomioka.” You turn back to the night sky, which is littered with explosions. You feel your cheeks growing hot and your temper flaring, frustrated at Giyu’s inability to take something so meaningful seriously.

“Ouch, my last name. Like I said, I was only kidding.” You refuse to relent, your arms crossed over your chest. Giyu sighs loudly, “look at me, Y/N. Of course, this is a date. I…I’ve been thinking about this since you asked me to come with you and that was weeks ago. I’ve never felt so nervous and excited at the same time before.”

You turn to Giyu, your eyes shining brightly at his openness and confession. " Do you mean it?”

“Yes, now be quiet; I’m trying to watch the show.” And before you can huff, he leans back and lays his head on your lap.

“Do that thing I like, Y/N.”

You pull the tie from his hair and rake your fingers through his dark blue tresses. 

[koolades-world]

Random Obey Me! Headcannons

Lucifer really likes human world blue cheese but refuses to admit it because he knows he will be made fun of for it by his brothers

Mammon has his first dollar he made in the Devildom framed and when Mc found it while looking for condoms he was really embarrassed

Idk it’s so funny to me to think of Mc and Mammon about to have sexy time and they need to go look for a condom. Mammon swears he has some so Mc goes digging though a drawer and finds a framed dollar bill while butt naked

“Mammon what is this-”

“SHIT UNSEE THAT HUMAN”

Levi has neck and back pains from all the gaming he does and really loves massages but is too scared to ask

Satan once stole a pair of Lucifer’s underwear and hung it from the RAD flagpole

Asmo made it a point to introduce Mc into his nightly routine as his face mask buddy, even to the point of doing it over call if they’re separated

This also sounds funny as shit imagine someone like Levi walking in on that

“So anyways, I stomped their skull in and got blood on my new boots. My hands also hurt from wringing the neck of that-”

“Asmo, Lucifer wants to know- HOLY SHIT WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU”

“A face mask, Levi. You could use one”

Beel loves kids and likes it when they use him as a jungle gym

Belphie always kicks people in his sleep without fail. Mammon swears he does it on purpose but knows he doesn't

Simeon does the best hair braids and is regarded the best in the Celestial Realm

Luke hates girl scout cookies since he thinks homemade cookies are so much better

Solomon can be seen leaving Asmo's room at any point during the day but nobody ever sees him going in. Imagine hanging out with Asmo and Solomon just fucking appears and then disappears just as fast

Diavolo's favorite color is pink

Barbatos has a succulent garden and Mc will bring him a new one every time they come back from the human world

Thirteen definitely loves Mexican food and spice in general

Raphael is convinced soft blankets are the best thing to ever exist

Mephisto once accidently knocked over one of Luke's cakes and felt so bad that he sent Purgatory Hall a buttload of money and wrote an article in the RAD newspaper about how great the angels were at baking

Mammon and Lucifer openly hate white chocolate (because it's not chocolate). Satan does too but pretends to like it because Lucifer likes it

Whenever Satan needs a parter to go to the events he gets invited to, Mc and Asmo are his first choices. He's closest with Asmo (Belphie is a second close) and doesn't mind the fanfare

Asmo and Beel often travel around the Devildom together. Asmo can't eat everything he orders since he just wants pictres so Beel is the ideal companion. Beel is also the perfect body guard

Solomon's current favorite liquor is Fireball and always has some on hand, but Luke always hides it because he thinks drinking is a bad habit

Barbatos definitely listens to heavy metal but everyone thinks he listens to classical music

If my grandmothers met the brothers, Beel would be their fav because he would clean his plate but if it was everyone, Simeon would take it home because he’s so charming even though he’s barely clothed

Everyone is so downbad for Mc I think it might scare off other people how much they hover. Like, a lower demon bothering you? Literally anything could happen to them, like they could be thrown in an endless loop of suffering, they could be made dirt poor for eternity, or they could be torn limb from limb <3 gotta love it

Asmo and Belphie make a deadly duo when to comes to trapping people/demons/angels. They both have the power to lure you in, and would probably take turn luring in victims for an evening as some sort of strange brother bonding. They both remind me of angler fish in a way. Asmo lures them with the pretense of sex and Belphie with relaxation, two things people can’t get enough of and they can stay calm enough to pull it off

Solomon has definitely made the brothers swap bodies or something crazy like that, on accident or not, you decide

Whenever Mc is feeling down, Diavolo offers his man titties as a nice pillow to relax on because he read somewhere once humans liked that

Beel is like a bull in a china shop so do not take him anyway where you need to be delicate. Belphie knows this, and will put him to sleep and carry him when they need to go somewhere like an antique shop by promising him a snack afterwards

Beel thinks Satan, Belphie, and Mc make the best weights out of everyone. Satan will just read, Belphie will just sleep, and Mc is like his personal cheerleader. However, he can and will lift all his brothers and Mc and the same time if he wants to, it’s just difficult to get them all in the same place at the same time

Thirteen, Belphie, and Satan got in a prank war once and it had to end in a draw since one party could not best the other. In the end, they made a final, collaborative prank and pulled it on Solomon

Mc once fell down the stairs in the human realm, ended up in the hospital, and sent the entire cast into panic so much that they took turns watching over them

Mephisto and Mc once had a night out drinking together and (somehow) returned to the HoL but were totally smashed. Lucifer forbid them from doing it again, but they still sneak out together and just crash at Mephiso’s place instead

[sulumuns-dootah]

If WHB had PvP: King interactions

⟡ Masterlist ⟡ 

A/N: Started playing new gacha game with PvP arena and got me thinking how the kings would react to having to fight other kings or their own selves ^^

─── ⋆⋅��⋅⋆ ───

Satan vs. Satan

"Wait, that's me?! Do I also have clones now like that fly bastard?"

"Hahaha I hope he enjoyed that as much as I did!"

"I'm not that short, c'mon!"

"Do you think that guy also has his own Sitri or do we both share him?

Satan vs. Mammon

"Who are you calling short?"

"This is what you get for taking what's mine!"

"Do you notice me now?"

"Heh, you won't see this one coming"

Satan vs. Beelzebub

"No matter how many clones he has, I'll beat him anyway"

"You stay away from my knees! Don't want a repeat of last time."

"This was the last time your clones took turns with MC!"

"After we're done here, wanna grab drinks?"

Satan vs. Leviathan

"Here's a little taste of what will happen the next time you'll try to kill MC!"

"About time someone burst that bubble of yours!"

"Time to wake up and smell the roses!"

"Who even is this guy, wanting to go back to school?"

Satan vs. Belphegor

"Man, imagine being able to sleep. Couldn't be me!"

"Oh hey, did anyone else see that corpse reanimate itself?"

"For someone who sleeps all the time, he sure does look tired."

"That guy Beleth, I could use someone like him too."

Satan vs. Lucifer

"Heh, look who just became a harmacist!"

"I wonder... if he injured me, would he also heal me afterwards?"

"When I first met him, he seemed weaker... Still, he's no match for me!"

"I heard a squeak earlier... Did I accidentally step on that tiny piss ballon?

Mammon vs. Satan

"Oh? I'm sorry, I didn't notice you down there."

"I don't mean to be rude. It seems he's very insecure about many things."

"He's like an adorable kitten when he wants to play punch."

"I like small things"

Mammon vs. Mammon

"Ah, what a strange state of affairs. I must've somehow gotten multiplied."

"If there's two of me, does that mean we must share?"

"Do I own him or does he own me?"

"So this is what it feels like to be a Beelzebub."

Mammon vs. Beelzebub

"My subjects tell me he's more in Tartaros than in his own country"

"His food is palatable with enough gold on it."

"If I recall correctly, he tried to eat one of the pillars in my castle."

"I won't hold back the next time he whisks my master away."

Mammon vs. Leviathan

"That coffin seems valuable, I shall look into it more"

"I must admit, Hades is a beautiful country."

"Leviathan could use a visit to one of many Tartaros' spas."

"He's so pale. He should go out more."

Mammon vs. Belphegor

"I do respect a country which hasn't descended into chaos with the king mostly absent."

"I shall send him some new bedsheets. Who knows when was the last time he's had them changed."

"Ahahah, I do admit you do have a very unique power!"

"Such lifestyle does look appealing, alas my country would greatly miss my presence."

Mammon vs. Lucifer

"I respect you deeply. This is nothing personal."

"If you require financial aid, do not hesitate to ask."

"I hope Buer is satisfactory in his position as a healer"

"Do you miss your father as much as I sometimes do?"

Beelzebub vs. Satan

"Huhu, you're cute trying to fight me!"

"Oh, we were fighting?"

"I'm bored, let's jump someone together!"

"Hm, I kinda want a snack now."

Beelzebub vs. Mammon

"I could use a bigger meal."

"I just heard one of the Tartaros' beaches calling me. I have to go."

"Maybe we could go visit my favorite Abyssos casinos afterwards!"

"Hm, I wonder how the pillars in his castle taste like."

Beelzebub vs. Beelzebub

"Oh hello, me!"

"I see you're handling everything here, so I'll just get going."

"If you go to that café in Gehenna, I can go to that stall with fish sweets in Hades..."

"Are you Bael or are you really me?"

Beelzebub vs. Leviathan

"Levi! Nice to see you again!"

"I wonder if he liked the last souvenir I bought him..."

"C'mon, next time I'm in Hades I'm treating you to a fish steak!"

"Sometimes I think he'd love to give me a noose around neck too."

Beelzebub vs. Belphegor

"You won't mind if I borrow Beleth for a few weeks, right?"

"Ah, how is Andrealphus doing?"

"I wish I wasn't so busy and could just lay in bed all day!"

"If only Bael was here to see how well can a country flourish without the king being around all the time."

Beelzebub vs. Lucifer

"Next time invite your angel brothers along."

"I don't need anymore shots for now."

"Another Seraphim down."

"Paradise Lost is pretty, but the smell is horrible."

Leviathan vs. Satan

"Ah, how pitiful you'd even try to mesure up to me."

"Size matters, don't you know?"

"I expected nothing less from you."

"Someday you might grow out of it."

Leviathan vs. Mammon

"A shame, truly. You seemed as a worthy ally."

"Money isn't really what matters. It's beauty."

"That palace of his is very tacky, don't you think?"

"I've won, of course."

Leviathan vs. Beelzebub

"Ugh, just please stop talking."

"You're lucky you're not one of my subjects."

"I shall end you quickly to end my suffering."

"I wish I could be back at my castle."

Leviathan vs. Leviathan

"Finally, I get to defeat myself and come as the winner!"

"Who dares to multiply me and make me compete with myself?!"

"Hm... That color doesn't seem to suit my complexion."

"I'm jealous of other people for being able to see me from such point of view."

Leviathan vs. Belphegor

"Oh, to be able to stay at home all day without being interrupted."

"My coffin is way more comfortable than that cheap bed."

"Hades is beautiful and blooming, unlike Niflheim."

"Where is this Beleth I keep hearing about?"

Leviathan vs. Lucifer

"I shall keep an eye on you at all times."

"All angels are deemed untrustworthy in my eyes."

"I will never forgive your kind for what you've done to us."

"Perhaps, you'd also like to forget your past?"

Belphegor vs. Satan

"Man, your existence's gotta be terrible..."

"Jeez, why are you so loud?"

"Anger drains so much energy..."

"Couldn't be me..."

Belphegor vs. Mammon

"Nice pillows..."

"All that gold looks uncomfortable.."

"Wonder how nice the hotels are in Tartaros..."

"Can ya get me some figures at the Hellcon?"

Belphegor vs. Beelzebub

"Ya exhaust me..."

"Tell Bael I ain't givin' Beleth to anyone.."

"Ya gotta be tired from all that runnin' 'round..."

"Ugh, I'm exhausted..."

Belphegor vs. Leviathan

"Six... I'll have ya obliterated!"

"Ya remind me of that one anime character that dies in the end..."

"Imagine putting all that work in just to look like that..."

"I wonder when they'll announce another season..."

Belphegor vs. Belphegor

"Oh?"

"Well, what in tarnation?"

"Makes me double tired..."

"Ope, am I still dreamin'?"

Belphegor vs. Lucifer

"Hospital beds ain't comfy..."

"This Hell might be big enough for the two of us..."

"Agares might need ya soon, if he don't shape up..."

"That Andrealphus, he seems hurt, check up on him, will ya?"

Lucifer vs. Satan

"Humans believe you've taken on all my wrath towards my father. Thank you for relieving me of such impure emotions."

"You. I'd expected you taller."

"I deeply apologise for all the grief my brothers have caused you."

"Morax asked me to remind you to wear your mouth guard."

Lucifer vs. Mammon

"Ah, father must've been very generous while creating you."

"I can sense a deep sadness within you..."

"If your horn stump becomes painful, my doctors can help you."

"There were many demons who required back pain treatment after carrying his riches."

Lucifer vs. Beelzebub

"I was told my brother fears you. If that is what will keep him in line, I shall support such occurence."

"That Phenomenon, what exactly is it?"

"I believe you're due in for another health check up."

"They call him wandering king and yet I have yet to see him vacation in Paradise Lost."

Lucifer vs. Leviathan

"My lord, you truly are the epitome of vanity."

"Could you please keep your servant in check, so we do not have to use spells to ensure our morgue doesn't get broken into?"

"The amount of Hades demons addmited to the hospital because of thorn injuries is great. I wonder why?"

"I am deeply sorry for all the horrible things you've been through. I should've intervened."

Lucifer vs. Belphegor

"I feel insulted to be now considered your fellow."

"I believe we do have a cure for narcolepsy, If you'd be interested."

"Beleth, that name sounds familiar..."

"That halo doesn't seem like it was your to begin with."

Lucifer vs. Lucifer

"Has... father created another copy of me?"

"Am I so easily replaceable?"

"So this is how all the other demons see me... I now understand."

"If there's two of me, I shall work twice as hard now..."

[venusacrossthestars]

putt-putt

pairing- Lando Norris x fem!reader

wc- 1.3k

summary- You and Lando are too competitive for you own good, so what is a better date idea than a round of putt-putt

a/n: this is a little b-day gift for my bestest friend @arieslost I LOVE YOU BESTIE.

f1 masterlist

“Babe, I don’t think it’s a good idea.” 

If someone walked in and saw the look on Lando’s face they would assume that you just kicked the poor man’s dog. But the truth to Lando’s sad expression- your insistence that a mini-golf date was not at all a great idea that Lando chalked it up to be. 

Lando stares up at you from where his head rest on your lap, his lips pouted out, “Why not?” 

“Are you seriously asking me that? Do you remember the last time we went? Or the time we played Mario Kart, Uno, Monopoly. Do you remember anytime we played something that had us competing against each other.” Lando continues to stare at you, as if he has no idea what you are talking about. 

“Lando! Seriously?! We each get pissy at each other. We are both too competitive for our own good.” 

Lando shoots up from were he was laying, startling you. He reaches across you to where his phone lays on the side table, “But babe, you haven’t even seen how cool this place is!” He shoves his now unlocked phone in your face, “See!” 

You move back and take Lando’s phone from his hand. You see that he already has their Instagram paged pulled up. You scroll through a couple of their post. 18 holes, Atlantis themed, has an aquarium, good photo opportunities. 

“It is nice,” you agree. 

“Babe. Please.” 

Your resolve crumbles in a matter of seconds, “Fine, but I have 2 conditions,” you watch Lando’s face fall, “1- You will not, and I mean, NOT, do that spiderman-whatever-it-is pose on the course and 2- If an argument or anythings breaks out and we get pissy at each other I get to say I told you so.” 

“Deal!”

The first ‘disagreement’ of the day occurred not even 2 holes into the course. Lando claimed that you had purposely aimed for his ugly neon green ball. 

“You did that on purpose!” 

You stand there with a bewildered look on your face, “Are you kidding me? Your ball is right in the middle of the damn way. Of course I’m going to hit it!” 

This is exactly why you couldn’t stand playing against Lando. When the two of you played together against other people, you guys were a powerhouse, unstoppable. Putting the two of you against one another, well the results were what you were dealing with now. 

“Lando I swear to God I will leave you here and you can walk home. Remember our ‘deal’? Because I do.”  You wave your golf club at him in a warning manner. 

“You’re right. I’m sorry baby.” 

You sigh out, you could never stay made at Lando when he gave you that puppy dog eyes look, “It’s fine, let’s just try and have a good time.” 

The two of you move through the course, you’re keeping score with a baby pencil on the little piece of paper one of the workers gave you when you picked out your balls, not trusting Lando to put down the correct score. 

“Awww. Babe, look your favorite food,” You point to the fish in aquarium that lines the next hole. 

You hear Lando make a noise and a pinch in your side. “That one looks like you,” Lando tells you as he points to the ugliest fish in the tank. 

You ram you elbow back, hitting him right in the stomach, “You ass. Keep it up and you’ll be sleeping with them.” 

“Come on, we got like, 7 holes left.” Lando grabs you hand and drags you away to the next hole. 

Lando drops his ball on the green, lines up his shot and swings. You watch as the ball bounces off the barrier and rolls right into the hole. “Hole in one babyyyyyy!” He exclaims, club raised over his head. “I’d like to see you do that.” 

“Bet.” Is all you say as Lando walks over to hole to retrieve his ball. He moves off to the side and watches as you line up your shot, a smirk resting on his face. 

You swing, and your ball does the same thing that Lando’s did, resulting in you own hole in one. 

“Hole in one babyyyyyy!” You mimic his early reaction. You do his same winning motion and you watch his smirk fall with a smirk of your own. 

The two of you aren’t the only people in here, there is a family a four ahead of you and another couple behind you. As Lando and you are walking to the next hole you can’t help but glance back at the couple, who, unlike you and Lando, are being all lovey dovey. The boyfriend is helping the girl with her swing, standing behind her, holding her hands as they swing the club together. 

You nudge Lando, “See we could be like them,” you point to the couple, “instead we’re two competitive a-holes.” 

Lando shrugs. “I like your competitiveness, gives me my money worth.” 

“Well be sure to keep that mentality after I beat your ass.” 

“We still have 3 more holes,” Lando points out. 

“Yeah, but with how bad you’re doing, I think I got this in the bag.” 

“Don’t count all your eggs before they hatch.” 

“Chickens, babe. Chickens. It’s- don’t count all your chickens before they hatch.” 

“Wait, then what’s the egg one?” 

“Don’t put all your eggs in one basket?” You say unclear to which one he is referring to.

“That’s it!” 

You roll your eyes, “You’re lucky your handsome.” 

“What?” 

“Don’t worry about it,” you pat him on the shoulder and start walking to the next hole. 

“No, what did you mean by that?” Lando calls out from behind you and all you can do is giggle. 

It’s the last hole and maybe Lando was right, you shouldn’t have counted all your chickens before they hatched. Because the past two holes Lando has managed to get two holes in one, you on the other hand were plundering. 

“So, we’re tied right now. This is the last hole, therefore, the tie-breaker.” 

“Do you want to go first?” 

“I guess.” Honestly no, you didn’t want to go first. You rather watch how Lando does first, then try to replicate whatever he did, your strategy you’ve been using the entire game. 

You line up your shot and swing. A very underwhelming delivery on your end. Lando goes and has the same result. Second swing same thing, ultimately closer to the hole before. Lando swings and his ball is just a little behind yours. Third swing, and PLUNK, right into the hole. You hold in your celebration, Lando could still tie. Lando goes for his turn, and he puts to much force in his swing, his ball goes in and right back out of the hole. It’s on his fourth try that his ball makes it in. 

“YES! I WON!” Your shout draws the attention of the couple behind you, you give them an apologetic look. You turn your attention to Lando, who is looking at you with nothing but adoration. 

“Well done,” Lando gives you a little golf clap and you take a bow. 

“I guess I don’t get to tell you I told you so.” You say as the two of you walk in the parking lot hand-in-hand. 

“Wow, we actually had a nice outing and that’s all you can say,” 

You stop and jerk Lando’s hand towards you, “I had a fun time, even if we did get a little competitive.” 

Lando’s hands move to you waist and pull you into a hug, “I had a fun time too, even though I lost.” 

“Don’t be a sore loser.” 

He wouldn’t say anything today, but maybe sometime in the future he would tell you that he purposely swung a little too hard on his third turn so that his ball would bounce out of the hole. But for now he could live with the little white lie, as long as it made you happy.

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