#when I’m asleep //

[imnotditzy]

I cannot stop laughing at the how insane Captain looks with DTC.

Their constantly at each others throats too,

(Cap’s resting his head on his palm, the leagues talking about taxes or something — Blly asked DTC what’s their favorite animals are and Zeus said a dinosaur)

Mercury: Zeus, I believe the boy means ‘living’ animals

Zeus: 😐

Hercules: I don’t mind lions, though I had to strangle one once.

Billy: You strangled a lion?

Hercules: It was a debt of my twelve labors.

Billy: …

Billy: You’re broke? Hercules: …

Hercules: 👺

Achilles: Is that twelve more labors I see?

Solomon: I’d choose ant. Zeus: Ant?

Solomon: Yes.

Zeus: No.

Solomon: Pardon?

Zeus: No. I will not be ridiculed for my choice when you chose an Ant. An ant, Solomon. Why? It’s barely on Earth.

Solomon: It’s respectable; It’s one of the most hard working things on earth, yet it’s the size of a crump.

Zeus: It would get organ failure over a crumb.

*dramatic gasps like their on a reality tv show*

Billy (looking scandalized while Batman drones on about tax breaks): 😧

[deathsmallcaps]

*Pixie Dust or no

Personally, I’m a Peter Pan type girl. And in every dream I convince myself that I’ve actually always been able to do it and I just have to get in the right mindset to do it. And every time I do I wake up slightly convinced I can still do it <3

[honeypleasejustkillme]

i just wanna be protected and cared for like i'm a tiny kitty with abandonment issues

[crystallizsch]

boo.

I'LL PASS AWAY NOW GOODBYE

[drunken-devotion]

So uhm..surprise birthday present? i fucking saw les mis???

[knucklestheenchilada]

When I’m finally able to give the polite immortal stone dragon gifts and make him fall in love with me it’s gonna be all over btw

[shorthaltsjester]

having thoughts and feelings about perc’ahlia and their could-be-but-would-never-allow-the-other-to-destroy-themselves-enough-to-actually-become-the-briarwoods parallel/foilism. particularly with vex and delilah and potential places this season might go but also just vex’s “it’s like i’m a bad omen” and the fact that like. vex has full awareness of her feelings for percy and alludes to them to him. but then after she has sex with him it is so so compelling to me that vex is like. this is all i can have with him and i’ll take just this even if maybe it’s flying too close to the sun. and something something the shot of delilah embracing sylas after she’s brought him back, looking over his shoulder into a mirror where it looks like she isn’t holding anything at all and just . god. the like oppositional threads of delilah refusing to lose sylas and holding on tight at any cost and vex holding herself so far from percy to deny the pain that would come with losing/hurting him and the like. venn diagram cross over of something is lost anyway.

[pallanophblargh]

So it’s been a while. And I feel obligated to explain my lengthy absence from… everywhere. My email is so full I’m low key terrified.

On New Year’s Eve, I found out the hard way I have asthma. I thought I was tackling a stubborn cold with a particularly nasty cough, but it culminated in a trip to the ER after I all but stopped breathing and felt hypoxic. My oxygen saturation had dropped into the 60s and I was put on oxygen. Went through the whole barrage of tests, chest x rays and blood draws. And the culprit? RSV and the asthma I had thought was imaginary. Despite my own body’s efforts to cancel my subscription to the bullshit year we are now living in, I was discharged after 6 hours just an hour before midnight. To put it simply, I felt like total shit but no longer in danger.

RSV knocked me and J absolutely flat for 2+ weeks. I still am dealing with fatigue and respiratory/cardio hiccups as I try to get back to how life was before. And before I could get to that point, life threw another wrench.

Raclette, my darling pup I had adopted back in October, who I was assured had been spayed (having come from the shelter where it is required) had gone into heat. Which leads me to believe that her first owners had (for whatever crazy reason) lied to the shelter about spaying her, and there were no records of her from before her time at the shelter. To say I was disappointed and alarmed is an understatement, and my suspicions were confirmed by our vet. Poor girl has been in a diaper for a week and a half and her spay is 3 weeks away. We are both miserable and I’ve had my hands full taking care of her. She’s restless at night so I’m not sleeping well, but I would never hold it against her.

So yeah! Art took a severe back seat, and I will need to reevaluate my relationship with art once the commission queue has been emptied. It’s gonna be an extremely rough year and I’m looking to find things that bring me more joy while taking better care of myself (and the dog). It’s a tall order but it needs doing!

Stay safe out there, y’all.

[oobbbear]

Dude you look radioactive

[untoldstar]

rich! yandere x fem reader pt.1

warning: yandere themes, obsessive behavior, stalking, harassment, slight nsfw mentions

You let out an exasperated sigh as another gift lands on your desk from the hands of your coworker, you already know who it’s from, they have been coming non stop, they achieved the purpose of charming you the first few times but when you expressed disinterest in him and they kept on coming that’s when the charm was lost, like clockwork you phone rang, you stared at the name on you screen the conversation that’s about to play out printed like a script in your mind, each time you receive a present from him he makes sure to call you to check in, though your convinced it’s nothing more than his method of boasting for his own egos sake, you sighed and picked up raising the phone to you ear “did you get my gift, lovely?” is his immediate question as soon as you pick up, you stay silent, he very well knows the answer to his own question, it’s quite easy to get a delivery through to workers in your company and even if it wasn’t he’d go to lengths to make it easy for himself “hm why aren’t you answering me?” he asked after your lengthy silence, you rolled your eyes at his second useless question “because you know the answer, what’s the point of calling if you already know i received your gift?” you heard him chuckled and that only made you more annoyed with the situation “ah you’re right..well, love, do you like it? is it to your taste? I have faith in my choices when it comes to you so if trust my gift is to your liking” your desk had a variety of bags, smaller ones with rich perfumes that your sample because they were way too expensive to purchase, bigger bags with pieces of clothing that you didn’t even see in the store but instead liked pictures of models wearing them, even bags with the logo of a makeup brand you like were there, they were all things you’ve always wanted but not this way, not when the knowledge that all this is in fact what you like would paint a smug smile on his face, so you spoke in the most flat tone of of voice you could master “nope, your faith is flawed I actually hate it all” you ignored the judging look from a coworker that overheard you and listened in to his reply “ah really?..seems i’ve made the wrong choice then. No matter, life is filled with material goods I’ll make sure to find exactly what you like, what you’ll admit you like, that is.” you grit your teeth, he was being insufferable you didn’t bother with this anymore and hung up leaning back in your chair sighing, you had convinced yourself he’d stop eventually but each time you were becoming less sure of it.

It was the end of the week, finally you could rest, this week had really worn you out.

You reached for the keys in your pocket while walking up the steps to your house before stopping as you glanced up and saw a bag in front of your door, your shoulders sank ‘he’s sending them to my house now?’ you looked behind you, scanning the street, seeing nothing you walked towards the bag pausing for a moment before taking a hold of it and unlocking the door, you stepped in closing the door behind you and leaving the bag at the door, you were too exhausted you’d deal with that later.

You carried on with your night but every once in a while your thoughts would drift back to him, why did he sound it to your home this time instead of your office? why hasn’t he called like he usually does? it made you nervous, it was unusual, there had to be something different about the present for the entire setting to change, you had enough of the nagging curiosity so here you were standing in front the foot of your bed, staring at the thin black box in front of you, whatever was inside it it was definitely expensive that much isn’t different or new.

You reached for it and removed the top part of the books and your hands stilled as your eyes widened slightly ‘what the fuck?’ inside the box was a neatly placed navy blue lingerie set, you took it out and held it up in front of you to take a better look at it and your cheeks heated it up at the thought of you wearing it and how you’d look, it was a pretty set, the color complemented your skin tone, you loved it but that vanished when you remembered the source and it all clicked, why he didn’t send it to your office, why he didn’t call, he knew your reaction too well, a card was left on the box with elegant handwriting on it

“I hope this meets your taste, if it does we ought to make good use of it the next time we meet.”

[luvrxbunny]

joel would fuck you silly then force you to ride him so he can watch you struggle

this was supposed to end before the cut 😭

“c’mon, baby. you’re never gonna get me t’cum like that.” he grips your hips roughly and fucks you relentlessly for just a second. “like that. okay?” he asks and let’s go. you nod to him eagerly, trying your best to fuck him the way he wants but your brain too mushy to follow through with the action.

you lift yourself on his cock and your legs tremble as you hold yourself up before you drop back down. the shock that runs through your stomach as his dick slides right against your g-spot has you collapsing onto him. your hands wrap around his neck without a second thought, so used to him taking over and helping you. but his hands are tucked behind his head and you can barely fit your hands. “joel—“

you drag out the syllables of his name like a whine and he chuckles at you, heating up your stomach with embarrassment. “what, darlin’?” you whine at his southern drawl, at the pet name and bury your face in his chest. “i need your help. can’t- i can’t do it on my own.” you pout and look up at him, hoping your puppy dog eyes are working properly.

judging but the shuddering sigh that falls his lips we can assume they were working. his hands come to your hips and slam you onto his cock at a painful pace. his eyes are focused on where the two of you connect and little grunts are falling from his lips. “such a fuckin’ princess. can’t do anythin’ for y’self, huh?”

his words have you clenching on his cock, giving a tremble to his voice that only pushes you closer to the edge. “n-need everyone to do stuff for you, hmm? too prissy to put any work in?” you shake your head at him with a moan. “m’just too weak ri-right now, joey. don’ be mean.” your voice is a light whine in his ear as you cling to him.

“mhm. it’s okay darlin’.” his hand comes to cradle the back of your head and his ear gets close to yours. “love that you need my help so bad. can’t get off without me— can’t please yourself the way i can.” his hand grips your jaw and forces your eyes to his “you need me”

his brow furrows as he tries not to cum at the way your eyelids flutter and your hand comes around to play with your clit “i’ll always need you.” he nods at you with a low groan as you squeeze his cock.

he stops moving in you, letting you clench around him as you play with your clit. he holds your face in place and watched how it contorts with pleasure, how your expression becomes more pained and watery the more you suffocate his cock. his eyes look you up and down once, gauging how close you are and that’s what breaks the tension building in your stomach.

the second you’re squeezing around him he groans your name into your face, his head leans forward to crash your lips together as he slowly fills you with his cum. he tenses and twitches against you as he does, muttering a small sounds that resemble “my fuckin’ princess. so perfect f’me” as he thrusts into you.

[catilinas]

you know before the catalogue of ships when homer is like yeah i couldn’t name all these guys individually even if i had ten tongues and ten mouths and an untirable voice and a bronze heart. the thing is like. poems do have ten tongues and ten mouths and an untirable voice and a bronze heart

[philsmeatylegss]

Yesterday, in NYC, a man lit a woman, who was sleeping in a subway car, on fire until she died. So the man arrested will be charged with terrorism as well as murder, correct? His attack was also threatening the lives of other homeless people (which it is assumed she was so). Surely he will also be charged with terrorism for scaring those people, right?

Or is it only terrorism when rich people are threatened?

Also, surely the fact the person who did this being an undocumented immigrant won’t be mentioned in every single news article about it, right? A woman was brutally murdered. Who gives a shit where the perpetrator is from, all we should care is that he is detained and punished.

Right?

We all agreed to this, right?

Or does race and immigration status only matter when a non-white and or undocumented immigrant commits a crime?

Same place, same police.

And I think we all know how differently this murder will be treated. And why.

[ho-for-joequinn-fics]

EXCUSE THE FUCK OUT OF ME SIR 🥵🥵🥵

[frog-chemicals]

[toxintouch]

crazy idea… what ab ais and vere with someone whos kinda obsessed with monsters?? like they study them for a living. idk where you would go with this but i just thought it would be interesting!!

it was indeed very interesting, anon, tysm for sharing!! ["You" pronouns used! to make it easier for me to use the plural "they"]

MONSTER 101:

✦ They both start out assuming that your interest is more suggestive in nature. That your insistence on "studying” Monsters is a smoke screen for your true desire to "consort" with them.  So they are both waiting for you to ask something–shall we say?–uncouth.  In fact, they have a little bet going…  

Realizing that you are just legitimately interested…

They are both intrigued, though it comes in different flavors.

✦ For Vere, it is somewhat begrudging.  He appreciates your ability to look past rules and accepted conventions.  (There’s Monsters aplenty in Eridia but few humans are trying to understand Monsters, and of those near none are willing to be open about it due to fears of social ostracization.  And even then, there’s usually some other motive at play…)  Vere's unhappy to find he has a slightly high opinion of you.  He really didn't mean to.

✦ He hates that a lot of his seduction techniques and attempts to catch you off guard or otherwise make you react are ineffective because you will just intellectualize them.

✦ Any time Vere mentions you studying monsters he says the word heavy with implication. “Studying.  Is that what they're calling it, nowadays?" Including after he’s realized it isn’t like that; he’ll still imply it whenever he gets the chance.

✦ (The bet is still on, by the way.  The fact that they’ll have to lead you into asking something questionable to win is just added spice.)

✦ And Vere is impatient to win.  Plus, he’s curious to see what makes you tick.  What button does he have to press…?

✦ He starts offering increasingly more and more inappropriate things.  (In the vein of tail tugging, etc.)  All to toy with you further your academic achievements, of course.

✦ Until he finally asks if you'd like to see him hunt.  

✦ And that sends a thrill of a shiver down your spine–you can’t sort out if it’s due to fear or excitement.

✦ He sees your reaction and oh, isn’t that just delicious?

✦ Your instincts react before you fully understand why, gooseflesh covering your skin, the prickly feeling of your muscles flexing minutely making your hair follicles rise.  You’re confused for a moment, your mind trying to make sense of the sudden surge of adrenaline–you’ve been so focused on Vere’s silky words that you didn’t even realize he’s gotten so close, that he’s starting to circle you, his eyes focused, pupils contracted.

He hums, inspecting you, turning your face this way and that, his neat claws skimming against you making you quiver.  This close, you can see his pupils expand slightly, the way his jaw trembles just the slightest amount after he takes in a luxurious whiff of your scent.

Like he’s hungry,

   like he’s starving

“Perhaps someone should study you for a change.”

✦  You’re breathless.  Your mind scrambles for a moment before picking back up.  What was that feeling, just now? You’ve read about this before, but–to experience it first hand–(and live)!  You gush at Vere about how the experience was both everything and nothing like your studies have described.

✦  Of course, hearing Vere’s age is amazing to you–he’s such a unique source of information, he’s seen so much, he’s so old!  But then, getting that information out of him is difficult on the best of days.  And the information you do receive is difficult to sort through.  Vere’s not exactly the most reliable narrator; you spend a lot of time trying to figure out what’s true and what’s an embellishment or elaborate joke.

✦ The idea that this is a job for you means that somebody must be paying you for this information. "You do plan on sharing the wealth, don't you? Dangerous things happen to those who don't keep their sources well fed."

✦ Ais admires your willingness to explore information, think things through for yourself and form your own opinions.  After dealing with Mhin hating him for “no reason”, it’s a breath of fresh air.

✦  Ais’ personality tends to be a lot more straightforward…  

✦  But when the information you’re curious about isn’t something he wants to disclose, he’s not above being unbearably vague.

✦  You ask Ais’ age, since Vere was willing to disclose his (kind of–you know he’s been around since Eridia was "a miserable little smear") but Ais keeps leading you in circles. 

✦  “Cumulatively?  Might take me a while to count that high.  Lot of group inside this mind.”

✦  He’s not above teasing you either.  “More questions?  If you’re not careful, I’ll start to overthink your interest.”

✦  He does wonder what you're hoping to achieve with this knowledge. What's your goal? Do you even know? "Be careful with that curiosity of yours. Some might find it...impolite."

✦  He realizes that he tells you to be careful... a lot. And he tells himself that he's not responsible for your safety, but...

✦  Will challenge you to earn your answers from him. He's not interested in money, but he can't just be handing things out for free to you all of the time. So: "What's it worth to you?" Is there anything you think you can beat him at? Or maybe you know something he'd trade for. A new language? A secret?

✦  If there's any kind of mutual attraction…  He’s actually kind of frustrated when/if none of your questions appear like they are going to turn in that direction.  He’s not looking for a commitment, but he hates the feeling of ambiguity between you two.  Makes him restless. If you give him any type of indication, though, or if your questions ever do stray away from the academic, he’s asking you if you wanna literally fuck around and find out.  He hates a will-they-won’t-they, he finds it tedious and annoying.  Unless…it comes with a competitive edge.  If it’s a war of attrition, a challenge of 'who will break first'…? That’s a game he’ll consider playing.  For the right reward. Hope you’re willing to deal with the consequences, though.

✦  He thinks it’s funny how you have so many questions.  Avoiding answering them is even more amusing, though. 

✦  Is he nocturnal?  ("Who said I sleep?") What are the interpersonal dynamics like between Monsters? Can he confirm the existence of nonverbal communication cues (scent, atmospheric changes, etc.)?  (“Yes.”) Will he tell you what they are? (“No.”)

✦  He avoids having you at the Sea Spring, though he never outright tells you that you aren't allowed there. And he's not very forthcoming about the topic. He's openly disinterested, in fact. If you don't take the hint, he'll tell you he's told you everything there is to say. Take the hint, alright?

✦  Your curiosity about Monsters extends to his Soulless too, doesn't it?  If it didn’t, it’s about to.

✦ He takes you out in the wastes one day so that you can meet Princess and the others. Just on the outskirts, where no one will bother the two of you. He has to show Princess off. "I wanna show you her tricks."

✦ Petting Princess is...interesting. It's amazing to be able to get this close to a live Soulless without fearing for your life. The texture of her is unlike any other creature. She's sleek, leathery. Your brain fights the proximity at first. It's hard to divorce yourself from the idea of danger but you push past it to pet her. (You hear Ais make a little hum at that - surprise, approval. You can't tear your eyes away from the Soulless in front of you long enough to check his expression. There's the ghost of a smile on his face when you finally manage.)

✦  And the fact that she purrs... He hears you talking to yourself about how that's absolutely fascinating, the implications, do the Soulless communicate (unprecedented information!) or is this something specific to the Sea Spring? Wait, even if it is Sea Spring specific, why does she have the anatomy to make a purring vocalization? It's not like the Sea Spring changed her physically...? Although... maybe it did...?

✦  Ais can admit that your scholarly tangents are endearing. You could have chosen a safer interest/profession, though. One less likely to get you into trouble. But you've survived this far. Maybe he should give you more credit.

✦  Needless to say: being around them both at the same time...they're more than just a handful. (Don't say that to Vere. The handjob joke makes itself.) They are terrifying as a team, constantly bouncing off each other trying to mess with you.

✦  And about that bet...they suppose they could share the win. If that's what it takes.