#when I was 11 I was still kind of knew to the whole divorced parents thing

[caffstrink]

your points about omori are so real but i also think the story isnt even that good like the "twist"... like not only does it not really make sense logistically (puts on my cinemasins goggles for a minute) how did two small kids drag an older girl into the woods to hang her without getting noticed and also why even come to that conclusion instead of making it look like more of an accident in the original scene (takes off my cinemasins goggles sorry about that) but i felt like it was kind of cheapened when it wasnt her killing herself. like he still couldve blamed himself for that because he wasnt there for her and didnt notice the signs but its like no he accidentally pushed her down the stairs. (and then framed it as a suicide which Was indeed actually a bad thing to do so yeah man you should feel a little guilty) but that could just be me being an enjoyer of explorations of suicide and its aftermath in stories

Honestly the twist was the only praiseworthy thing i found in the game and even so it wasn't enough to redeem the whole journey to get there imo. I think my opinion happens to be the opposite of yours bc mari comitting suicide would've been too simple, too expected, whileas sunny accidentally causing her death is what explains the guilt that makes him repress his emotions/identity and choose to live in his imagination. Theres 2 main big issues i have with it though, and since you've given me the opportunity I'll rant about it.

If i remember right at the time of her death mari was 15 while sunny/basil were 11 or 12, so i don't think it would be far-fetched for the two to carry her body together, although hanging her from the tree would be difficult. As for no one noticing i think that's actually pretty normal as far as these cases go, you'd be surprised at how many murders happen in broad daylight in suburban areas where there's neighbors walking outside yet no one notices bc they're not looking at someone's backyard to see some guy burying a dead body (if you watch those murder documentaries you'd be surprised at how common these cases tend to be). Basil trying to frame it as suicide is honestly a very very stupid idea, but considering their age and the situation it does make sense since they were panicking and people have 0 braincells when they're panicking.

The main reason i liked this twist though, may be because of how i perceived the scene where we see mari's hanging body and how it had an eye open, i thought it implied mari could be still alive when they hung her, and the uncertainty of it is what wouldve plagued sunnys psyche for the following years. Idk that was what i thought at least, but i don't recall seeing anyone else point out mari possibly still being alive when she was hung, so it may be just me.

Now here's the rant part. The game subtly implies that sunny's parents knew it wasn't a suicide. And by subtly i mean in a HIDDEN ROOM YOU HAVE TO ACCESS THROUGH ALTERING VALUES IN THE GAME FILES instead of, i don't know, in the annoying dragged out black space horror segment? Anyway in that room you see a shadow of what looks to be Sunnys father chopping down the tree and he says "you're no son of mine" or something along those lines (its been a while so i forgot the exact quote). PLUS its kind of obvious maris body wouldve been taken to be analyzed and theyd for sure see the head trauma that caused her death, but since it was accidental and both sunny and basil were minors, it's likely they went unpunished and Sunny's parents covered up with the suicide story so the others wouldn't think of them as murderers.

Why the hell does the game never mention his parents except on the real world? Its shown they divorced after mari died, did sunny not really care about that? Why does his ugly pastel escapism fantasy not have any mention to them? Did he not feel guilty about the grief he caused his parents? WHY IS IT NOT MENTIONED IN THE GAME AND ONLY IN A HIDDEN ROOM

And the second thing is the reasons that caused the incident in first place, it felt like it couldve been explored much more than it was. Like ok i get it, sunny didnt actually want to play violin, his friends thought he did and he was too afraid to disappoint them when they bought him one. But the main thing he mentions he hates about it in his diary is that he needs to practice on saturdays and misses 1 hour of cartoon watching with his friends. Like man. Come on. Priorities i guess? There wasn't any pressure of someone moving away, or someone leaving for college, or anything like it that would explain why sunny needed that 1 hour of cartoon watching with everyone so badly that it emotionally distressed him to that level.

My second complaint is how Mari is treated like a pure saint through all of the game, which was kind of a missed opportunity to have shown that she also was flawed and not always the kind big sister he idealized her to be in his mind (it could've also been shown that the Saint Mari in his brain is due to his guilt, but no, apparently she was just was like that irl too), the only flaw mari had was that she was perfectionist about the piano recital and pressured sunny about it? Like come on man there could've been more here. We could've had accepting mari was a flawed human as a part of sunnys recovery so he can move on from itn but instead mari is just a perfect angel through all of the game who unfortunately was accidentally killed by her younger brother bc she got upset he broke his violin on purpose like any 15 year old would. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

[areyoutheluckyone]

and they both gave it to me

taylor please restock wonderstruck perfume please we won’t make the wonderfuck joke ever again please bring it back I’m begging you

[ithinkhesgaybutwesavedmufasa]

With Cherries On Top

Chapter 11: The Wedding & The Confession

Summary/Author’s Note: You and Max made it to the alter. Everything is about to go perfectly according to plan--until a change of heart and impromptu confession calls the whole thing off. 

We are so close guys. It's gonna hurt before it gets better.

Pairing: Max Phillips x Reader (The Proposal AU) Word Count: 4.3k Rating/Warnings: R - language, angst, confessions, feelings, cliffhanger, did I mention angst? And the Grinch’s small heart...grew three sizes that day.

[Previous Chapter] [Masterlist]

--

Sometime in the middle of the night it had started snowing. Big, fluffy flakes slowly fell and twinkled in the early morning sunrise, making it a perfect day for an Alaskan wedding. You felt more like a hostage than a bride, however, as your family all but demanded you stayed in your room to maintain the element of surprise. They brought you breakfast, your dress, makeup bag, but as you sat cross-legged on the edge of the bed you wished they would bring you Max. 

He had almost said something the night before. Hadn’t he? It seemed every time he wanted to tell you something important, he got interrupted, or was too nervous to get the words out. Nervous? Max Phillips? No. There was no way. You were projecting your own complicated feelings onto Max in a desperate hope that he felt the same way about you that you did about him. But how did you feel about him? At this point, you weren’t even sure. 

Did you love him? No. Maybe? You definitely didn’t want him out of your life or back to the way things were. Things would never be the way they used to be. He was no longer the cold and unfeeling bastard that sat behind his desk and made your life hell. Perhaps when you both got back to New York he would revert back to his old ways. The clock would strike midnight and he would become the metaphorical fanged pumpkin, changing back into a bespoke-suit jackass. No way. You couldn’t see that either. 

You smoothed your hands down your dress and traced a finger along the beaded embroidery of the bodice. Max would love it. His large fingers tracing over the lace as the two of you danced--you shook your head, trying to shove down such silly images. This wasn’t real. This wasn’t a real marriage. And you were not the blushing bride or doting husband. This. Was. Pretend. 

Despite the temperature outside, you had chosen a dress that accentuated your tits. You’d bear the cold just to see the look on his face when you showed up to a winter wedding with bare shoulders and a sweetheart neckline. The thought made you laugh quietly to yourself, because no matter what had happened this week, Max was still Max. You were still you. And the two of you could figure this out and argue your way through it together. That’s how you did everything else. 

A knock at your door brought your attention to it as you stood up and gathered your skirts. “Yeah?”

“It’s me.”

You felt yourself stop breathing as Max’s voice came from the other side of the door and you hurried to it. When you tried to pull the handle, it stopped, only allowing the door open a few inches. You pulled again and it stayed firm. Max was keeping his hand on the door handle. 

“Your grandma would kill me if she knew I saw you before the wedding,” he chuckled but it was humorless.

“Max, come on--” you tried to argue.

“Listen, I needed to tell you something before the wedding.” His voice was stern and the way he kept a handle on what you assumed to be desperation, made you stop talking. “I haven’t seen you all morning and it’s been driving me crazy.”

“Me too,” you agreed quietly as you put your hand on the door where you imagined him to be and leaned your body against it. “Is this about last night?”

“What do you mean?”

“You were going to tell me something. Before my grandma came in,” you bit your lip and swear he could hear your heart hammering in your chest. 

Max paused for a minute and you wished you could have seen his face. "No. It's--it's something else." 

“Are you okay?” you worried.

“I’m fine.” The door stayed firmly in place but he moved his fingers around the edge and you touched them gently. You heard him sigh softly and he moved his hand just enough to envelop your fingers with his. "Evan was right."

"Evan?"

"Don't make me say it again," he said flatly. "You should have been promoted a long time ago."

You laughed and shook your head. "Yeah, I know that Max--"

"But I denied all of the promotion offers on purpose." He said quickly and you felt like the other shoe had just dropped on your face. "I knew giving you what you deserved meant losing you as an assistant."

"You didn’t promote me so you could keep me as your secretary?” you asked, your voice going a little shrill towards the end as you thought off all you had done for him over the last five years. “You selfish, son of a--"

"I know. I know." He cut you off and you yanked on the door but he held it shut with ease. "But that doesn't matter now, because when you get back to New York, they're going to offer you a job with four years of back pay and I want you to take it."

"What job?" you snapped.

"Irrelevant."

"Max--"

"Tell me you'll take it. You deserve it and I need to know you'll tell them 'yes'."

"Max--"

"Tell me."

"Yes. Fine. Okay. I'll take the job." You knew your tone was overly exasperated but the sigh of relief he let out was enough to make your chest ache. 

"See you at the altar, sweetheart." He said quietly and you bit your lip. "Don't stand me up." His teasing tone was back in his voice and you just needed to touch him. Slap him. Hug him. You hadn’t decided which--maybe both. But you needed to make sure he really was okay and this wasn't just a facade to hide whatever he wasn't telling you. 

He let go of the door and you took a breath before pulling it open as fast as you could and stepping out into the hallway. But he was already gone. 

--

“All good to go?” you mother said, rubbing your arms for reassurance and a bit of warmth. 

“I kind of want to throw up,” you said with a force laugh as you adjusted your grip on the small bouquet in your hands--white roses and bluebells. Subtle, elegant, winter flowers. 

“You’ll be fine,” she said, giving you a quick kiss on both of your cheeks. “It wouldn’t be your wedding day if you didn’t feel like vomiting, dear.”

“And what happens if I do?” you asked with seriousness.

“Vomit?” she laughed. “Aim for the floor. And if you fall, smile and push your tits up.” That got you to laugh back and it made her smile. “The hard part is over, honey. It’s smooth sailing from here on out.”

“What if we get divorced?” you blurted out and her smile fell a bit before shaking her head.

“Honey, if I haven’t divorced your father then you and Max won’t have any trouble at all.” She licked her thumb and tucked a stray strand of hair back into place. “Don’t condemn something before it even starts. You have made it five years without staking the man, surely there is a reason you said yes when he asked you to marry him.”

Her words were rhetorical and even if they weren’t, it wasn’t like you could tell her the truth. 

“But what if--”

“Stop.” She gripped your shoulders and looked you in the eyes. “This is a happy thing. Don’t worry yourself with what-ifs.”

She gave you a quick once over and another hug, careful not to mess up your hair, before squeezing your hands. When she started to walk back towards the main area of the barn to give the signal that you were ready, you called out to her.

“Mom?” 

“Yes?” she stopped at the door and looked back at you kindly. 

“How does Max look?” you asked, not knowing what else to say.

She smiled and relaxed her shoulders a little. “Very, very handsome.”

You returned her smile and adjusted your grip on the flowers in your hands. "Thanks mom...for everything."

--

The music was quiet and you were thankful that everyone remained seated as you walked down the aisle that was already littered with white rose petals. You hated being the center of attention. And yet here you were, on what some would say was one of the biggest days of your life, had any of it been real. The snow fell quietly outside the windows on the pines, catching the glow of the twinkle lights that were still strung up from the party your mom had thrown. You focused on the one person that you wished you could be alone with right now. Max. If only you could make everyone disappear and the two of you could remain.

Your mother had been right, Max looked incredibly handsome. But when didn’t he? 

Your grandmother had done an excellent job tailoring the dark blue suit to fit his frame. When you realized it was your grandfather’s suit, it made your chest tight. This was wrong. This was all wrong. He had forgone the tie in favor of having the first few buttons undone on his soft, white undershirt, all tied together by the white flower pinned to his chest. He smiled at you, looking as relieved as you felt to finally see you after spending the night apart, but there was something else. Something in his soft brown eyes that let you know that the uneasy feeling that had settled in your stomach was also in his. 

“Hey, sweetheart,” he mouthed quietly as you handed your flowers off to your mom in the first row and took Max’s outstretched hand.

“Hey,” you said back in the same tone as you took his hands in front of you and looked up at him. “I didn’t stand you up.”

“No, you sure didn’t,” he sighed quietly. 

The way he said that made your heart uneasy. Something was wrong. But as the local ordained minister, and more importantly, long time family friend, stood with the two of you and smiled at the crowd of seated people, you knew you couldn’t ask him here.

“Thank you everyone for coming,” the man in front of you said as he smiled and nodded to your parents. “This is exciting!”

You held Max’s hands and shifted your weight over to your other foot just wanting this to be over with already. He gripped your hands back and stepped a fraction of an inch closer to you. Maybe he expected you to faint? Fall over onto the floor? You weren’t entirely sure that you wouldn’t at this point. 

“We are gathered here today to give thanks and to celebrate one of life's greatest moments,” the officiant said with another large smile. “To give recognition to the beauty, honesty, and unselfish ways of true love in front of family and friends.”

The crowd gave a soft sigh of adoration and you glanced at your mother to see her gently dabbing her eyes with a cloth handkerchief, careful not to smudge any of her makeup. Fuck. Your own eyes burned and you shut them tightly. You would not cry. You refused to cry. This wasn’t real. But that made it so much worse. Because it was real for everyone but the two of you. Real for your mom, and your dad, and your grandmother…

Max shifted uncomfortably and brought your attention back to him. His face was set in a hard grimace and if you didn’t know any better, you would have said he looked a little green around the gills. If you fainted and Max puked, that would have been the least shocking thing about this wedding. 

The officiant continued. “For it is their family and friends who taught them to love. So, it is only right that family and friends are all…”

If they said that phrase one more time you were going to scream. But you wouldn’t have to. The words stopped abruptly and Max shut his eyes tightly and cursed under his breath. He let go of both of your hands and put one of them up in a stopping motion.

“Wait--”

“Yes?” the minister asked in surprise. 

“Max…” you warned in a whisper. 

“Can’t it wait?”

“No,” Max shook his head and rubbed his eyes with a defeated chuckle. “No, it can’t.” He gripped your fingers and kissed your knuckles for what felt like the last time. 

“Don’t do this,” you pleaded as you tried to grab his hands again but he carefully avoided your reach.

He turned to the crowd of people, holding his hands out in front of him on display and grinned. The grin made you sick to your stomach. It wasn’t him. It wasn’t the real him. The Max you had seen in the last week slowly faded away and left in his place was his carefully crafted salesman persona. “Hi everyone.”

“Hi.” A few members of the crowd responded in unison and you looked at your mother who was looking at Max with a slack jaw. 

“Thank you all so much for coming out,” he said, shoving his hands into his pockets and rocking forward a bit on the balls of his feet. “I... have a bit of an announcement to make--a confession, actually.”

“What are you doing?” you hissed desperately, gripping the skirts of your dress as you took a step towards him. He ignored you. 

“As some of you know, I’m a vampire--” a few gasps came from the older members of your family and he nodded like he had been expecting that reaction. “Yeah, yeah, I know. And I’m a vampire without proper documentation apparently, so, I was about to be deported.”

“You son of a bitch,” your dad said from the first row.

“Dad!” you scolded. Looking up, you saw Mr. Yates standing in the back with a smirk and you wanted to slap it off of his face.

“It’s alright,” Max assured you, looking over his shoulder at you gently, ignoring your father. And you see in order for that not to happen I forced her to marry me.” 

“Max, stop it,” you pleaded, but he just gave you a small smile and continued.

“See, your girl here has always had this extraordinary work ethic.” Max clenched both of his fists in front of him for emphasis before turning his attention back to your parents in the front row. “Something I think she learned from you.”

“Max, please,” you tried even though you knew it was useless.  

“And for five years I watched her work harder than anyone else at our company. And I knew that if I threatened to destroy her career…” he put his hands back in his pockets and shrugged. “...she would, well, she would do just about anything.”

You felt the first tear slip down your cheek at his words. He sounded so cold, so indifferent to what he was saying, if it weren’t for the slight shakiness in his tone you would have thought that he had meant none of what happened this week. But you knew differently. He was saving you. Just you. You shut your eyes tightly and wished you could press rewind, go back and make things happen differently.

“So, I blackmailed her to come up here and to lie to you.” Max looked pointedly from your mother to your grandmother. “All of you.” 

“Oh, Max,” your grandma said, wringing her soft, wrinkled hands in her lap and looking away from him in hurt. 

He swallowed hard and cleared his throat. “And I thought it would be easy to watch her do it. But it wasn't. Turns out it's not easy to ruin someone's life--” he paused and looked back at you with those soft, amber colored eyes that you loved so much. “Once you find out how wonderful they are.”

You reached for him but he stepped down off of the stage and you let your arms fall back to your sides in defeat. He walked up to the first row of chairs and looked down at your mom.

“You have a beautiful family. Don't let this come between you.” He put his hand to his chest and finished in a serious tone. “This was my fault.”

“Max.” You raised your voice and he turned back to look at you. His lips trembled as he saw the silent tears slowly trailing down your cheeks. 

“Sweetheart, this was a business deal,” he said, matter-of-factly. “And you held up your end, but now the deal is off. I'm sorry.”

You picked up your dress so you didn’t trip and hurried down the steps but your father stood abruptly and stepped in your way. Max made a bee-line for the back of the barn and stopped in front of Mr. Yates. Max towered over him and grit his teeth and he pointed at him, almost poking the INS agent in the chest.

“And you, meet me at the dock,” Max snarled. “You're giving me a ride to the airport.”

“You got it,” the other man said with a nod.

Max pushed open the double doors forcefully, letting the cold air into the warmth of the makeshift altar. The snow still fell quietly as you watched him walk out in it, leaving you completely alone in a room full of the people who should have known you best. 

--

The door slammed shut behind you as you made it back to the house. Your father’s footsteps pounded the hardwood behind you as your family followed you into the living room. You gripped your dress, using the texture of the lace to ground you as your heart and mind raced in unison with what to do next. 

“What were you thinking!” your dad shouted. It wasn’t a question, it was an accusation. 

“I don't,” you stopped and shook your head. “I don't know.” You felt like a child again. It was a pathetic excuse and you knew it. When you agreed to marry Max for the sake of him not being deported, you knew exactly what you were doing. The consequences just hadn’t been important. 

“You don’t know?” he barked and rolled his eyes. “That’s not an excuse--”

“And what’s your excuse, hmm?” you spat back at him, throwing your hands up in the air. “You were ready to throw us both to the wolves yesterday! At least Max--” you voice caught in your throat as you said his name. “At least Max tried to--”

“What are you talking about?” your mother looked between you and your father, clearly torn by being in the middle of the two of you. 

“Nothing.” “Nothing.”

You both said at once and she knew you were lying by she didn’t push it. Your grandmother came up to you slowly and put her hands on your arm, making you look down at her. 

“Honey, you lied to us,” she said gently and your eyes quickly welled up with tears at her forgiving nature. 

“I know,” you nodded, giving her hand a squeeze. “Let me get my head on straight, okay? I'll explain everything later. I'm sorry.” You pushed the edges of your skirts together and hurried up the stairs to your bedroom.

The door clicked behind you and you felt your shoulders drop in relief. It felt good to be alone. To have the silence to clear your head. The relief was short lived however as you looked around and realized that all of Max’s things were gone. The suit he had worn was hung neatly on a hanger and left on the armoire, a hurtful reminder of just how handsome he had looked up on that altar. 

“Max?” you said hopefully, hurrying to the bathroom just in case. 

His shoulder bag with his premade smoothies was gone, along with his toiletries and the large suitcase that had sat on his side of the bed. The emptiness of the once cozy shared space made an involuntary sob come from your throat as you put your hands to your mouth and tried to stop it. He left. He had really left. 

You looked to the bed and thought about the way he held you, kissed you, fucked you. Was he really going to throw it all away? Was Max fucking Phillips giving up what he wanted? You wouldn’t have believed it if someone had told you weeks ago that this was how it would play out. Or perhaps he was being a coward. Perhaps it was easier for him to uproot his entire life to another country than to face how he really felt about you? Now that, that you believed. The thought made you roll your eyes. 

While looking at the bed, you noticed the brightly colored, handmade ‘baby maker’ quilt had been folded neatly at the foot of the bed. It served as a backdrop for the items that had been carefully placed on top--the wooden box with your grandfather’s cuff-links and a note.

With shaky hands, you unfolded it and started crying all over again. Fuck. 

You clutched the letter and were torn between ripping it to shreds and saving it for as long as you needed to. You had to reread the last line multiple times as each time you reached the nickname you both loathed because of its vulgarity and loved because it was so Max, your tears blurred your vision too much for it to be legible. He cared about you. He had to. But he was a coward. A coward and a fool! 

“Asshole!” you screeched as you threw the letter onto the bed and looked at the ring on your finger. “Fucking asshole!” The ruby in the gold setting seemed to be taunting you. 

“Honey?” your mom said as she opened your door. The sound made you jump and put a hand to your chest. “I didn’t mean to--I knocked, but…”

“It’s fine. It’s fine,” you waved her away, rubbing furiously at your eyes as she walked in and quietly shut the door behind her. 

“You know, people are gonna be talking about this forever,” she laughed softly, trying to make a joke, but when you didn’t smile, she stepped closer.

“Yeah,” you nodded. “Yeah, I know. The scandal of the century.”

“Are you okay?” she asked, and you let out a breath filled with bitterness.

“Yeah, of course I am,” you started, crossing your arms under your breasts and looking at the letter on the bed. “No. I mean--I just feel...you know what the problem is?”

“Go on,” she nodded encouragingly as you clenched your fists at your sides.

“You see, the problem is that this man,” you pointed to the bed and grit your teeth. “This arrogant, selfish, bastard of a man...is a gigantic pain in my ass!” You pace to the window, lacing your fingers and resting your hands on your head so you can breathe. “First there's the whole leaving thing. I understand that. It's a sham wedding--it should have never happened…”

“But you do look lovely,” she offers and you nod your thanks before you stomp back over to the bed.

“But then he goes ahead and he leaves this note!” You pick up the piece of paper and shake it at her, your heart racing, your cheeks hot. You can practically feel the steam coming from your ears. “Because he doesn't have the decency, no, the humanity to do it to my face!”

“Well, he technically isn’t human, dear--”

“Five years! Five years I work for this...this terrorist--never once has he had a genuine thing to say, and then he goes ahead and he writes this crap! The audacity--”

“Honey--”

“None of that matters. None of that fucking matters. We had a deal!”

“Honey--”

“Sorry. I'm sorry. I just…” you let out a long, heavy, shuddering breath. “He just makes me a little crazy.”

“Yeah. I can see that.” She moved to stand in front of you and put your face in her gentle hands. She gave you a warm, motherly smile as she leaned down and planted a soft kiss on your forehead. “So, you're just gonna let him go?” 

She was right. God dammit, she was right. You were not about to let Max Fucking Phillips have the last word. You gave her a tight hug and grabbed your sneakers.

--

Tag Lists:

Perm:  @rae-gar-targaryen​​ @zeldasayer​​ @winters-buck​​ @gooddaykate​​ @jigglemiwa​ @seawhisperer​​ @halefirewarrior​​ @ripleyafterdark​​ @softpedropascal​ @phoenixhalliwell​​ @thebakerstboyskeeper​​ @honestlystop​​ @lackofhonor​​ @readsalot73​​ @cryptkeepersoul​ @skdubbs​​ @cahooter​ @synystersilenceinblacknwhite​​ @googiebeankat​​ @dinohaze​​ @saltywintersoldat​​ @huliabitch​​ @tainted-gay-ghost​ @roxypeanut  @hayley-the-comet @domino-oh-damn @maybege @corvueros @pettyprocrastination @qveenbvtch @hopplessdreamer     @apples-of-february​ @pocket-of-anxiety​ @marie-is-in-the-dark @agentpike​ @pascalplease​ @cosmicbug379​         @your-pixels-are-showing @gamingaquarius​ @blushingwueen​ @crimsonandwhiteprincess​ @bluemoon-glen​ @river-soul​ @robbinholland @nerdypinupcrystal​ @fleetwoodmactshirts​ @jaime1110 @fioccodineveautunnale​ @fantasticcopeaglepasta​ @kid-from-new-zealand​  @theofficialwatchtower​ @roguereds​ @paintballkid711​ @javier-djarin​ @ellaprime7​ @kaetastic​ @bisexual-space-slut​ @moonlightburned @nowyouwilldielikehimtoo @glitterfaecakes @Karmezii @cyaredindjarin @Nonink @irishleesh93 @heatherbel​ @himalayanwhite​ @stylelovechild​ @chews-erotically​ @sylvanas-lover​ @spacegayofficial​ @holographic-carmen​ @moonlikepascal​ @frankiemorales  @thewaythisis​ @slut-for-bumblebees​ @miss-leto​ @moonagedaydream505​ @lannister-slings-and-arrows​ @atlas-adams-apple @lokiaddicted​ @ksgeekgirl​ @seasonschange-butpeopledont​ @nonetheleiss​ @ahopelessromanticwritersworld​ @this-cat-is-dea @thelastemzy @mymindisawhirlpool @mrschiltoncat​ @corrupt-fvcker​ @f0rever15elf​ @ohpedromypedro​ @walkerchick007 @66wookies @goblinqueen95​

Cherries: @the-feckless-wonder​ @legally-a-bastard @queenofheavenandhell @space-floozy @catfishingmorales​ @hdlynn​ @escapinginmymind078​​ @88dragon06​ @yaboiithewreck​ @mrpascals​ @pedrospascals420​  @hdlynnslibrary​ @californiakoenig​ @trashbin2​ @whiskeyslasso​ @timeslugarts​ @marydjarin​ @misslolasworld​ @starlight-starwrites​ @arrowswithwifi​ @ladybeediva​ @bonkaiqueen​ @adikaofmandalore​ @pedrosdoll​ @littlevodika​ @flowercrownsandmetallicarms​ @rosey-flush​ @menscareme​ @maytheglitter​ @keeper0fthestars​ @maydayfigment​ @grapemama​ @larakasser @menedraws​ @kochamcie​ @luosymekawa​ @popculturepriestess​ @azem-thefourteenth @sesamepancakes​ @a-seeker-of-imagination​

[ginasrickyfav]

THINK PIECE: RINA LOVE STORY OF HSMTMTS 🥰

Let’s start from the beginning, Rina has always been set up... it’s always been there in the script, the show, etc. Tim might have not thought it would be big but he definitely planned it. Gina being intrigued by Ricky, Ricky not being scared of Gina. They naturally get each other. Their connection is deep and organic doesn’t feel forced unlike some of the other pairings.

Now onto the beauty and the beast theory... I believe the story of Belle and the Beast are being played by Gina and Ricky.

It’s quite obvious why Ricky got the Beast, bc tbh his audition was rocky— he had to get the beast because theorically he is the Beast. He doesn’t like change and has attachment/abondment issue but we will get into that later.

Now Belle is Gina even though she doesn’t play Belle in the play she is still the Belle- the girl everyone wants to be, be with, the one who has one of the biggest storyline this season except for Nini/Nina. Gina is very important this season, she wants to leave Salt Lake City because she feels there is nothing there for her... she misses her mom, she doesn’t have Ricky in her corner, none of her friends are seeing that she is sad— no one is asking her how she feels and is doing. Belle misses her dad and wants to leave the castle. It hurts Gina to see Ricky and Nini happy together because she could have had that if she knew she wasn’t leaving. That’s the main reason she wants to leave. Gina’s input on a lot of things matters... mostly to Ricky that’s why he went to her multiple times this season about Nini. Belle is the one who helps the Beast through change, which Ricky needs to do. Gina does help him through that as we seen in Season 1.

Now Ej is playing Gaston, I personally don’t know much about Gaston except he is in love with Belle and wants her to love him back. The thing is Ej and Gina are getting closer in 2B... In multiple scenes it is shown that Ej is showing feelings for Gina (weird but anyways). It’s becoming very one-sided as of right now, we haven’t seen future episodes so I can’t really speak on Gina’s feelings because we haven’t seen her side. She only has stated they were friends and co-anchors which is normal- she wanted to get back to normal after the fake dating act... she wants the best for him, she wants someone to talk to and not feel lonely. Same as Ej, they are both lonely and seek the attention and “friendship” they both want. I feel like portwell is a stepping stone for Rina, they will realize they aren’t it for each other they don’t “get each other” the way Ricky and Gina do. Plus Ej is confusing this friendship for feelings because they are getting closer but he doesn’t realize that he needs to focus on himself and preparing for college instead of looking for a girlfriend in the last 2 months of high school. Like what does he even want to do? Does he want to go to college? He didn’t get into Duke but what does he now want? he said his life had been planned out for him— now it went left so now he should be figuring out what to do now.

As of now we have just seen Gina tell Ashlyn about her telling Ricky “I wouldn’t quit on us if I wasn’t leaving” and how they never talked about it since then. Which makes everything make sense (kinda) Gina ignoring Ricky, Ricky being like why isn’t she speaking to me, the awkwardness, the romantic subtext, the freaking flashback- which was filmed in 2019??! and was kept a secret helloooo?!! She asked Ricky to find someone else to confide in about Nini, now they are speaking. But the thing is they have to speak, especially about “opening night”. If they don’t that will be left unresolved and that whole thing is from 1B and 2A combined.

Now Nini/Nina who is now free from a relationship and has rebranded herself as Nina. She is thee Rose, the Rose that has been confined in a glass- the Beast’s Rose. Who literally plays the Beast’s Rose in the play. Nini’s whole arc is about finding herself outside of boys— finding who she is as a person without being defined by someone else. This has been happening since season 1 but her character along with Ricky had regressed backwards when they got back together at the end of season 1. She was done with boys then see Ricky move on with Gina and now she wants him back. But now she is realizing she won’t be confined to the Beast’s POV (Ricky’s POV).

The symbolism is crazy on this show I swear. The dog tag and guitar pick also show symbolism of the Rose being confined in glass. The dog tag coming off two seconds into the breakup is showing how Ricky is realizing he has to let her go and start accepting his change and his relationships changing. Nina still has hers on maybe because she has fully grasped that they are over and that she had to let go— even if she has already mentally did it. She emotionally hasn’t. Her head mind she wants to be her own person but she still loves Ricky deeply. Yes, she is doing great and moving on to bigger and better things... but we have to see her physically take off the guitar pick like we seen from Ricky.

Also the lighting this season has been very dark, compared to last season. The theme is darkness because the Beast was keeping himself in his castle in darkness— Ricky nothing wanting anything to change. The Rose still being confined. Gaston still wanting Belle. Belle being sad and wanting to go back to her dad. As soon as the character arcs start developing more - Ricky accepting change and his parents divorce (every relationship isn’t meant to last forever), Nina accepting that she can break out of her shell and do something that truly makes her happy (her songwriting and music), Ej accepting that his love(feelings) for Belle(Gina) are taken for kindness same with Gina most likely and that he will be fine without a girlfriend and should focus on the future that he has and that he should do something for him and not his dad (maybe NYU or community college), Gina accepting and understanding that she wants to stay at East High and that she has friends that truly care about her and want her there, and speaks her truth with Ricky (they finally have that conversation about opening night). The lightning will lightning back up around episode 11 or 12 when most of these story arc wrap up.

The main storyline is Rina when that second chance happens and they have the big conversation about opening night and last semester, the story will lighten back up, Ricky is now accepting change and Gina is now accepting that she is wanted and that staying will be the best choice because this will be a stable “home” for her. - how ashlyn sung home to gina hehe.

[gabbysdawsons]

wait now I wanna know about your stranger things ocs. what are they up to in season four? what are interesting facts about them? important details from their backstories? give me the goods rn 🤺

love you for this <3

okay so my stranger things ocs can all kind of trace back to this one family; the Lansings.

also, pinterest boards for vibes

Jack Lansing

backstory: Jack and his wife Gen have a daughter, but she went missing when she was four which for context is, ~5 years before season one takes place. He moved out of Hawkins around a year after she disappeared and, while still legally married to Gen, they might as well be divorced.

as of season one Jack is- back in Hawkins, serving as a police deputy. and lo and behold. Will Byers goes missing and boy does it send good old Jack on a spiral, and right back to Gen.

as of season four, honestly that man is doing the best he ever has, but more on that later.

a fun fact about Jack is that he- by some miracle, never really loses patience with the kids throughout the seasons, and it makes him a very good counterpart for wildly impatient Hopper whenever they need help

next up we have, Genevieve Hopper, who was, for a time, Gen Lansing.

she's Hopper's younger sister, and she used to work at Hawkins Lab. She has since been unemployed.

oh Gen- Gen has not been good since her daughter disappeared. she has in fact been, very bad. like commonly known town weirdo levels of bad. People think she's weirder than Joyce in season one. It's been a bad five years for poor Gen, but she's gotten a job as a Hawkins High science teacher since losing her job at Hawkins Lab.

she likes the job a lot right up until her estranged husband's sister ends up failing her class

as of season one Gen is- reeling from Will's disappearance, though her attention to his disappearance drops almost completely when her brother lets slip that they think a kid escaped from the Lab

if he weren't only targeting teenagers, Gen would be a prime target for Vecna. the woman is drowning in guilt.

and i know this sounds like- not much but i promise it's building up to something

okay so, next we have Nineteen.

she escaped from Hawkins Lab with Eleven, but separated herself from her- pretty quickly because she- truthfully didn't get along with her very well when they were in the lab.

she's around ten years old. this girl is going Through It.

also, Tina has- very few early memories of being at the Lab, but neither does El so she figures it's- normal

okay so she's kinda boring in season one. Jack's sister April found her wandering in the woods and literally just- befriended this strange woodland child as if she were a fairy or something.

gave her food, clothes, talked to her, though Nineteen never talked back.

by season four, she's thriving. She's living with Jack and Gen. April has given her the nickname Tina, and pretty much everybody just assumes that's her name anyway. She's enrolled in Hawkins Middle. Vecna isn't targeting her because she didn't totally fuck him up and lock him in the Upside Down like El. However, she still does have her powers so she's, still a part of the whole mess, just not in the same way El is.

lastly in this whole family mess is April Lansing.

she's Jack's younger sister, and she moved with him when he left Hawkins (she was 11) because their parents were dead and she- didn't want to stay with her grandparents. Besides, Jack knew well enough how to raise a kid, and he, didn't mind.

she's- none too thrilled about their move back to Hawkins as she is very much a city girl at this point, she's dreading going to a small town.

they live out by Lover's Lake, so she just, decides to spend all her time in the woods to kill time, which is how she meets Tina. and in season four it's why she ends up just- chilling with suspected killer Eddie Munson.

ngl she might be a love interest for Eddie idk yet

but in the midst of her struggling to adjust to living in Hawkins- Teddy Wheeler pops up.

Teddy was her- best friend when she was like 10. and he figures he might as well help her get used to the town. April is not having it, and aggressively ignores him.

by season four she's: joined the Hellfire Club and- girl's gonna get Vecna'd so- prepare for that.

and i don't have much for Teddy. boy is more of a secondary character tbh

[princess-of-the-corner]

If you wanna put your dad on blast go right ahead.

I think you need to let off something off your chest if your vague posting about him.

So the vagueposting was less about him and more my friend saying that sentence to me but like. Just. Just a quick taste of current fuckery.

First off, why I stopped talking to him regularly!

My parents got divorced when I was 11. And part of the custody agreement was that, if I was spending the night at one parent's house, I had to make a phone call to the other parent that night.

We kinda decided on it being at 8:30 and my mom was real chill about it knowing that I might not drop everything right at 8:30 depending on what I was doing. Dad was not as chill. But again, stories for another time!

Now. Once I turned 18, I didn't have to do this. Because legally I was an adult and could do whatever the hell I wanted. But he's my dad so I still tried to call or text sometimes. But I did have my own life and, since i didn't /have to/ I didn't call all the time. I will admit, I definitely could've called more often because adhd makes Time be Weird so it didn't feel long to me but it was so that's a little on me. On the other hand, he always could have called me instead if he wanted to talk.

But yeah after a while of this, he got pissed off and sent a long message through text, email and facebook about how he was upset that I never talk to him and 'clearly I don't want to' so fine he's 'not going to make the effort'. If I want to talk to him I can. I got pissed in return and was all 'fine if you're going to be like that then I won't call'. But I still did send occasional birthday/father's day/christmas messages.

Now. That was a number of years ago. On to the recent bullshit!

So. My grandfather on that side was having health issues.We all kinda knew grandpa probably wasn't going to last much longer.

List of ways my dad mishandled this whole situation:

Got mad that my aunt(dad's sister) told me and my mom about grandpa's failing health and when he died.

Just straight up didn't want me to know at all(which GOD I am imagining the conversation if I did reach out in like a year and asked 'oh btw how's grandpa?')

Posted about the death on facebook before telling my aunt(she found out he died because one of my cousin's friends saw the post and called to give condolences)

Lied about having any kind of memorial so my aunts and cousin couldn't take more time off for that since they already took time off to come down, say their own goodbyes, and collect stuff from the house.

Went through stuff in the house and was getting rid of things that he didn't care to keep. The items in this list included various pictures of me that my grandpa had around the house.

So yeah. I just. Not really wanting to talk to him at all lmao.

[hlupdate]

In a never-before-published 2012 interview, Harry Styles and Niall Horan talk about their childhoods, the future of One Direction, and much more

In the spring of 2012, I spent a few entertaining days hanging out with the five young members of a British boy band who were just breaking big in the United States. The guys from One Direction were unjaded, unguarded, totally charming, and a puppy pile of optimism and energy. On April 8th, in a New York City hotel room, an 18-year-old Harry Styles and 16-year-old Niall Horan sat down with me for a joint interview, published here for the first time. (The reporting was intended for a Rolling Stone cover story that never ran.)

It was late morning, and they had both just rolled out of bed. Styles wore a hotel bathrobe; Horan, with braces still on his teeth, was in sweatpants, a T-shirt, and a Dallas Mavericks hat a fan had given him during a recent trip to Texas. The conversation was casual, full of laughs, and focused on their formative years.

What did you do at the gym last night? Harry: One of our security guys, his friend’s over, he’s a personal trainer, so I was working with him, and he ripped me to shreds.

In 12 hours, you have to do Saturday Night Live. Are you ready? Harry: Yeah, I think so. I think it’s going to be a fun day. It’s just really exciting, obviously. The show is so huge. For us to get the opportunity to be on it at all was just amazing, and to us, to be performing and just be involved with the show is amazing.

Have you seen whole episodes of it? Harry: I’ve watched a lot of clips on YouTube. They don’t show it in the U.K.

Growing up, when did you realize you could sing or that you wanted to sing? Harry: I sang in primary school, like the school productions, plays and stuff.

What was your first one? Harry: The first one was…I was five, and there was a story about a mouse who lived in a church, and I was Barney, the mouse. I had to wear my sister’s tights, and a headband with ears on it, and I had to sing a song all by myself. I remember it was just like, whatever…in the second, I was Buzz Lightyear in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, so you know when they run and hide in the toy shop? Buzz Lightyear was in the toy shop, so they just created my character. The last one, I was in…you know Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat? I was the pharaoh, but I was an Elvis pharaoh.

Did you have a sense that this is what you wanted to do in your life? Harry: I think in school, I was OK, I wasn’t a bad student. I think I just knew I wanted to entertain people and stuff. I was a bit of an attention-seeker at school.

Niall: Me, too. I just talked too much, sang too much.

You were onstage as a kid and were like, “This is what I like”? Harry: I knew it was fun, I had a lot of fun doing it, and I stopped when I started high school, and then I didn’t really do anything, I just sang at home, in the shower, in your bedroom, that type of thing. I guess it started again when my friends were in a band and they wanted to do this battle of the bands competition that was at school, and they needed a singer, and one of my friends asked me.

What did you sing? Harry: We sang “Are You Gonna Be My Girl” by Jet, and “Summer of ’69.” We did it more towards the Bowling For Soup version.

How about you, Niall? Niall: I always knew I wanted to sing. I was academic…I was one of those people that if I’m not interested in something, I don’t really care. If I’m not interested in school, I would have never trained or done my homework or anything, I’d have just gone outside and played football or whatever.

Harry: [helpfully translating] Soccer.

Niall: So I always wanted to sing. I was singing here and there, not gigs or anything, but I always sang around the house or whatever, and I played Oliver in a school play. And then I just did that, and people told me I should do something…I was only 10, what could I do at 10? I just did a couple of gigs, and when I got to high school, they told me that I should just try out for The X-Factor.

Who told you? Niall: My French teacher. We used to do talent shows and stuff at school, she was like, “You should do it,” so I did it.

What did that entail? What were the steps from being a kid in high school to getting on the show? Niall: It was the final of The X-Factor the year before, and at the end credits of the final, it says, “If you want to apply for 2010, go online,” so a couple of weeks later, I said, “Right, I’m going to do it,” and I filled in the form online, we were sending emails back and forth, going to this place at this time. The first one is at a big stadium, then if you get through that, you come back the next day. Is that the way they did it with you?

Harry: I had to wait a little bit, I think.

Niall: I was there at five a.m., I got seen at 12, and I was out of there by quarter past 12, and the next day I came back at 10 in the morning. You get through the first round, then they do a round where they don’t tell you if you got through after that.

Harry: They film it.

Niall: The producer and someone from the label. They film it and show it to whoever. Then if you got through that, it takes about two or three weeks until you find out. I was in Spain. Then you just go through the audition.

Harry, how did you wind up on X-Factor? Harry: I basically said, the same as Niall, I was watching the year before, and I remember looking at the young guys on there, and I was kind of like, “I’d love to have a go at it just to see what happens,” and that was kind of it. My mum actually did the application, and then three weeks later, I walked upstairs and she said, “Oh, you’ve got your X-Factor audition Sunday,” and I was like, “OK.”

Niall: In England, it’s the biggest thing ever. It took a while to build.

Harry: The two or three years were steady, and third or fourth, it just blew up.

Niall: It works that one in three people in the UK watch it. There’s 60 million people in the UK, and 21 million people watched the final the year we were in it.

Harry, your band also played at least one wedding right? Harry: Yeah. We actually said that we’d do the wedding gig, and…

Niall: You get paid for it?

Harry: Yeah. 160 quid, between all four of us. 40 quid each…we said we’d do it, and then we found out it was the weekend coming up, and we hadn’t done anything for it, so we asked the bride what kind of stuff she wanted, and she said she didn’t mind, but she wanted some Bob Marley songs. Literally in three days, not even three, probably two days, we learned like 25 songs. We might have known like three of them before. I was 16, maybe 15, singing these Bob Marley songs. There was a girl a couple of years below us, and it was her mum, she said she wanted us to play.

Niall: Can you imagine you’re at a wedding and you have 16-year-old kids up on the stage?

Maybe you were really good! Harry: Yeah, the drummer is one of my best friends from school, he’s a sick drummer, he’s so good.

Did you think the band could be something? Harry: A bit. My friend’s mum was a radio presenter, and she did a radio show  for a bit, so she was trying to sort us out a little bit of studio time, we were going to go in and record.

What do your parents do? Harry: My mum is a PA.  My dad is a financial adviser.

How about you? Niall: My dad works at a supermarket, he’s the head manager, general manager of an area, not just one, and my mum is unemployed now, so I try to help them out whenever I can.

You probably can. That must be nice. Niall: Yeah, it’s nice, it’s good.

Plus, now you can tell them what to do. Harry: [laughs]  “Now you go to bed.”

Were you happy as kids? Did you have adolescent angst and stuff? Did you go through depressed periods? Harry: Not really. I think at one point, I started acting like I was…I had a phase of listening to really heavy music.

Niall: I never went through that.

Harry: Not stupid heavy, but a bit… just because I thought it was cool.

Like what? Harry: Like Nirvana T-shirts, wore black all the time, pretty much.

Were you pretty happy go-lucky? Niall: Yeah, I was always happy. I think me and Harry were lucky. Our parents got divorced quite early, didn’t they, when we were really young. I was four, I didn’t know much, so I was always a happy kid, always up for a laugh, very carefree, and I’m a bit like that now.

Did you both grow up in your moms’ houses? Harry: Yeah.

Niall: I went between both, my mum moved to the country and I didn’t have any interest in it. I always felt like the country is for when you’re older. I was with my mom for a while but got bored, all my friends were in town, I went to school in town and all that stuff. It was more like that.

Harry: I lived with both parents, and then moved with my mum, and we owned a pub for like five years. I remember the first night, it was like a night where a band was playing, and I just thought, “How am I going to get to sleep?” I was three stories up, I was like, “How am I going to get to sleep with this noise?” I was next to a road in Sussex in the middle of nowhere, and by the end, I could fall asleep next to the band, I was so used to the noise.

Was it imprinting your brain? Harry: Maybe. One of the guys who used to play every so often, he used to be in Deep Purple or something… He started teaching me guitar when I was like 10, I think 10, maybe nine.  I loved it. I was 10, 11, all of the regulars, I got on with them. I’d walk behind the bar and my head would barely go over the bar. It’s still going now. We sold it to my best friend, we go in all the time still.

People say you come off as more mature than your age, you come off wiser. Did hanging around all those people as a kid help you mature?

Harry: I don’t know, maybe.  I moved when I was seven or eight from Cheshire, and it was still Cheshire, but half an hour away, but in terms of not driving and stuff, all my friends lived near my school, so that was a bit further out. One of my friends there was my sister’s age, he was 16 when I was 10. It was so tiny, they were the only teenage boys…we’d ride our bikes and go to the driving range and stuff. It was good, it was fun.

You both wanted to entertain – if it hadn’t worked out, would you have been really unhappy? Harry: Yeah, I think it would be kind of like…one of the reasons you go for X-Factor in the first place is that you want to do this, and it kind of helps you get out of the life that you were doing before. I worked in a bakery for two years. Obviously, I didn’t want to do that for ages!

If you’d asked people at school, would they have said, “Yeah, they’re probably going to be famous,” or would they never have guessed that? Niall: My aunt, I was in the back of her car. We used to go across Ireland to go to the beach for a couple of weeks, and I remember we were in the car, I was singing, and she thought I was the radio, and she told me, I never forgot it, that she thought I was going to be famous since I was six, seven. She was the only person who told me that, so I always remembered that.

Harry: My dad said it. I used to listen to a lot of the music he was playing, he’d play Elvis Presley to death, the Stones, I’d sing along to that and he’d say, “You’re going to be famous,” or whatever. He came on tour with us for a few days out here, he came to the Radio City show. He just said, for him, it was so educational. Obviously, he hears about what happens when I call him, but to see it and see it actually happen and how everything works was so good for him, he really enjoyed it. So that was nice.

So you grew up on Elvis and the Stones? Harry: Yeah, pretty much. My dad was a massive Stones fan, so it was pretty much Beatles and Stones in terms of what my dad played.

People say you kind of look like Mick.

Niall: He gets that a lot.

Harry: I get it more here, probably, than I do at home. It’s because of the British thing.

What have you learned about life from the last few years, what didn’t you know? What advice would you give yourself? Niall: How much more independent we actually are – me, anyway. Your mum attends to your every need and does your food and washing and gives you somewhere to live. Then you go into the real world, as you’re told as a kid…

Harry: We’re living on our own now.

Niall: We just started living on our own in the last six months, really.

Harry: I’m moving when I get back.

Niall: We do our own washing, we make our own food, we rent places, we’re out on our own now. You mature so quick, you’re dealing with big businessmen every day, you’re not dealing with school, people your own age. It’s a bit different.

Harry: You seem to learn so many life lessons, but in such a short space of time. If I speak to my friends and they’re having problems with girls, whatever it is, now I seem to just have the answer. I don’t know, it’s just different. Or I think I have the answer. In terms of…one of my friends was trying to decide what to do with school, stuff like that, and I would have had no idea what to say to him before.

The last two years must feel like 10. Harry: Yeah, but at the same time, it feels like six months, it’s weird. X-Factor was two years ago, but it seems like five years ago, but at the same time, it’s gone so quick. It’s a really strange dynamic of how it feels.

Do you have a sense of how this is going to go? Does it matter if it’s two years, five years or forever? Harry: I think how much we all enjoy it, because we love what we do – if you have to call it a job, it’s an incredible job to have, and we love it. We’ll all want to do it for as long as possible. If we have the opportunity to have a Take That kind of career, I don’t see any reason why we wouldn’t want to do that. If we don’t, I don’t know…we’ve done some amazing things already, but we don’t want to stop there, we want to keep going. I guess if we didn’t, I think we’d probably want to still be involved in…I’d just write, I guess.

Do you want to act? It feels like you could have your own TV show. Harry: I think it would be more of a documentary, because obviously, we’re not actors.

People must want you to try. Niall: Watch tonight, tell us what you think. Watch SNL.

Will you all make solo albums? Is that inevitable? Harry: No, I don’t think so.

Niall: Let’s do a swing album!

Harry: [laughs] We’ll all do swing albums. We’re just so focused on this, we all feel so lucky just to be part of this opportunity that we’ve all been given, it’s incredible, we’re just loving it. It’s sick.

People make a lot of assumptions about people in your position. They think you’re puppets and do what you’re told. What do you do when people make those assumptions? Harry: When you look from the outside, especially if you’re a skeptic of groups made through TV shows, which is fair enough, people don’t see what we do on a daily basis, people don’t see…I think from the outside, it looks so glamorous, they see us do TV performances every now and again, see us doing an interview every now and again, but they don’t know that we work seven days a week.

Niall: If there was eight days, we’d fit it in.

Harry: It’s not as completely glamorous all the time, of course it’s not, it would be stupid to think that it would be, but it’s hard work.

Niall: You’ve got to remember that you’ve got people on your team that have been doing this for many years and have been through the mill. You have all that experience around you, even from our tour manager, who’s been doing this for 20 years, they know what’s right, but at the same time, we want to have creative control, because at the end of the day, it’s us stepping out onto the stage of SNL tonight and have to sing these songs. We want to be singing what we enjoy, as we said last night. The music we all listen to is what we try and blend together to make this One Direction sound.

Harry: We obviously want to make it authentic and have our say without going, “People say we don’t control it, so we need to take control.” We’re not…we haven’t been writing songs for 20 years, we’re not producers. We’ve got an incredible team around us. Luckily, we’ve been given a lot of freedom, so we don’t go, “OK, we just need more and more control,” because we have a lot of control already. I think we find a really good balance in the way we work with our record label and our management, and it’s just how we work together, I think.

In any case, it’s probably better than the bakery. Harry: Yeah. But I don’t get a nice bun on my break anymore, that’s the thing.

Did you wear an apron? Harry: Oh yeah, I wore a white polo shirt and a maroon apron with white stripes. “What would you like? 78 pence, thank you very much.”

Were you behind the counter? Harry: Yeah, I was behind the counter. It was good. It was Saturday morning, I started at five and finished at four in the afternoon and got like 30 quid, it was a joke.

Niall, did you have a job? Niall: No, never.

So this is your first job. Niall: Yeah, not bad at all. I was chilling, I was being a kid.

Harry: I had a paper route before that. It gave me a bad back, bad posture. It was a heavy bag.

I interviewed some fans downstairs, and asked if they knew who you were six months ago, and they all said yes, and a year ago…They were all early adopters, heard you from the Internet, watched X Factor on YouTube… Harry: It’s the internet. People have friends over here that might tell their friends and look on YouTube and show their friends. It’s insane how it’s blown up. We’ve had the opportunity to come over to America and do shows, and release our music over here, which is amazing. Through the power of social media, we already had a bit of a following before we’d ever been over here, we hadn’t done any shows. We had some fans out here, which was amazing, but weird, really strange. I don’t know, it’s gone crazy. We don’t really see loads of it. We do the shows, then we’re in hotels, then we fly somewhere else. We don’t see massive amounts of it, we just go with it. This whole thing has gone on, and it’s sick.

Do you ever feel anxious through all this? Harry: Yeah, I think, obviously, just naturally, you think about what’s going to happen in the future. We’re 18, 19, 20 years old, we’re young. I wouldn’t say anxious, we’re just excited most of the time, and having so much fun, that if stuff were to finish and you were to look back on your time and all you did the whole time throughout this amazing stuff was shitting yourself about what’s going to happen next, then it would just be…I think you have to enjoy it while it’s going on. I think you should be wary about the future, but not worrying about it all the time. We still enjoy it and have fun, but obviously, you do think, “What am I going to be doing in 20 years, 30 year?” I’ll have kids by then.

Harry, I saw a tabloid with pictures of everyone smiling, and you were looking thoughtful. Do you get down sometimes? While everyone else is having fun, do you start drifting off? Harry: No, I think I’m naturally…not everyone is happy all of the time. I think you always have times when…like when you’ve just landed off a really long flight or miss home or something. They got a picture of me where I wasn’t smiling. I usually smile, but they got one where I wasn’t smiling and used that, and then said I wasn’t happy. They did that for a few days, that’s when we were in L.A. last time. It goes with the morbid voice.

Ringo would say, “It’s just me face.” Niall: “Who’s that little old man?” [quoting Hard Day’s Night]

Harry: “That’s Paul’s grandfather. He’s very clean.”

Sometimes you can drift off, that’s just your thing. Harry: [laughs] I’m just soulful, man, I try.

Harry, do you mind when you’re singled out for attention? Harry: I don’t know. I don’t really…I don’t know. We’re a band. Everything we do is together. I don’t take much notice of it.

So you’re not the Justin. Harry: No.

Niall: J.C. was popular, too, wasn’t he?

It’s not like that for you guys. Harry: Not at all.

There was an imbalance in that group. Harry: I think we find it important that people get to know all of our individual personalities, because…

Niall: I think that’s what’s good about it, people see us as individuals as well as a band, we all have our own personality, and we all give something to a band. Previous bands, they go around and can never explain themselves, they can explain the band, but as individuals, what we bring to the band and stuff…

Harry: We all know that we all have our roles, and we all know that without one of us, it wouldn’t work.

[kaylorrehabcenter]

Rating Every Song on Fearless Based on How Gay it is

Hello friends! I still have a few song analyses in the pipeline (and one on Lover the album) but today in honor of Fearless (Taylor’s Edition) being announced and Love Story being released in a few hours I thought I’d do something fun to celebrate!

And you know what? Fuck my usual disclaimer, I am the word of god here. Try and change my mind about any of these. I dare you. (I kid I kid this isn’t that serious and you’re free to disagree <3)

1. Fearless 15/10

Everything about this song is so fucking gay oh my god. This isn’t a fruit, this is a whole ass edible arrangement. As a small rural town Gay (my hometown has a population of less that 4,000 and where I’m living now has a population of 2,500) this uh. Hits.

“And I don't know how it gets better than this/You take my hand and drag me head first, fearless”

Y’ALL

The idea of falling in love with someone who makes you less afraid of your homophobic small town…….it’s getting to me.

“My hands shake, I'm not usually this way but/You pull me in and I'm a little more brave/It's the first kiss, it's flawless, really something/It's fearless”

This is making me emotional, I'll be honest. I see so much of my friends and my experience in high school in this song. 

This quote I found on genius is from when the album was released on BMR’s website.

“When I wrote ‘Fearless,’ I wasn’t dating anyone. I wasn’t even in the beginning stages of dating anybody. I really was all by myself out on tour and I got this idea for a song about the best first date. I think sometimes when you’re writing love songs, you don’t write them about what you’re going through at the moment, you write about what you wish you had. So, this song is about the best first date I haven’t had yet.”

This just screams baby Tay writing gay folklore to me, about the gay stories she wish she had. Notice how there are no pronouns in this song??? Fruity I’m telling you.

All that to say. I’m crying because the linear note says “I loved you before I met you” and I want to go listen to Long Story Short and cry now.

2. Fifteen 1/10

Objectively pretty straight as she’s singing about her and Abigail’s dating boys in HS. And Taylor got with a senior guy. Good for her I suppose.

Unless he was one of the shitty ones in which case.

“This is life before you know who you're gonna be”

This however, is a cute line and the whole song makes me warm and nostalgic. You can also hear her crying after the line “and Abigail gave everything she had to a boy who changed his mind” which makes me emo and I’m sure will take on new depth after Abigail’s divorce and hurt me even more.

Other highlights that make me sob include.

“When all you wanted was to be wanted/Wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now/Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday/But I realized some bigger dreams of mine”

Bigger dreams of hers indeed :’)

(Also how can you say she’s a gold star lesbian when this song exists. She was obviously dating boys in high school and even if you think she’s a lesbian. Comp het is a hell of a drug kids.)

3. Love Story 8/10

Tried to change the ending indeed.

This is THE Taylor Swift song, and maybe it’s the nostalgia talking but damn I still love it. Written because she wanted to change the ending of Romeo and Juliet (how anyone likes RandJ enough to want to rewrite I have no clue.) and/or because her parents didn’t approve of a guy she was seeing. (according to genius, it would’ve been too early for Joe J so it could possibly be Boys Like Girls frontman, his image did clash with hers and they did release some cute songs together. However if you want my take it’s probably folklore about Emily, take for what you will)

This song has very oft gay vibes with the ‘They don’t approve of our love angle!’ but uses male pronouns so points redacted for that. HOWEVER this is a very early use of ~the male perspective~ in Taylor’s songs and for that it deserves all the love.

“ So I sneak out to the garden to see you/We keep quiet, 'cause we're dead if they knew/So close your eyes/Escape this town for a little while”

More rural town angst!!!

Nothing gets me more than rural town angst.

“Romeo, save me, they're trying to tell me how to feel/This love is difficult, but it's real”

Originally the lyric was “this love is different”. Granted I do not remember the source, i’s just lore implanted into my brain, but make of that what you will.

“"Marry me, Juliet, you'll never have to be alone/I love you, and that's all I really know/I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress/It's a love story, baby, just say "Yes"”

Marry me Juliet from the male perspective :)

Also worth noting. This is Karlie’s (and Kim K’s lmao) favorite Taylor song which. While basic as hell. Makes this cover sad as hell to this former Kaylor. (thanks @swiftgron-get-married for the tears <3)

Also not to make this about a man AGAIN but the secret message is “Some day I’ll find this” AND SHE DID IM CRYING.

4. Hey Stephen 1/10

The one thing Camilla Cabello and I have in common is loving this song, so I have to live with that for the rest of my life.

This song is very painfully straight.

How can you think this woman is a gold star lesbian.

The only noteworthy thing is that this is one of the few songs she confirms who it’s about. The secret message is “Love and Theft” which is the name of a country music duo who went on to open her Fearless tour. Which, does make me side eye this song a little bit.

Still a cute song.

“Hey Stephen, boy, you might have me believing/I don't always have to be alone”

5. White Horse 1/10

Oh look. It’s track five. 

You know maybe this is just me being a bitch but in my ranking of track fives this is. Pretty low. Maybe on the bottom.

Like I don’t have a lot to say about it. 

She’s going through it over a guy. He was a cheating dickweazel. 

“'Cause I'm not your princess, this ain't a fairytale/I'm gonna find someone someday/Who might actually treat me well”

“Try and catch me now, oh/It's too late/To catch me now”

These lines hit though!!

And she found Joe!! Who treats her well!!!! And she isn’t the princess, she’s the prince who dropped her sword and knocked on her door!!! But this time if they come for them she’s ready!!!

Yes I will make every song about Long Story Short <3

6. You Belong With Me 5/10

Ah yes. The other THE Taylor Swift song.

You know. If I went to a high school with a cheerleading squad. And I had a crush on a cheerleader. I would blast this song. So for that it gets a 5/10. Otherwise. Fairly straight and fairly iconic.

7. Breathe 8/10

Well. We know this one is about a woman. (Emily Poe for those not in the know. Ha. A rhyme!) That alone has an 8/10. And it’s the first time she has a featured artist so bonus points for that!

It was nominated for a Grammy and it fucking lost to Jason Mraz. When’s the last time you thought about Jason Mraz.

I will not have Kaylor feels on a fucking Fearless song but damn is it VERY easy.

“Never a clean break, no one here to save me/You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand”

“It's 2 A.M, feeling like I just lost a friend/Hope you know it's not easy, easy for me”

Also this bridge? Goes off. HIGHLY underrated. 

8. Tell Me Why 3/10

You know. Maybe this album isn’t as gay as I once thought.

This song does bop though, not as good as her other angry songs on this album. But I can vibe with this you know. Why are you being an asshole mysterious man.

“You could write a book on how to ruin someone's perfect day”

This has to be one of baby Tay’s best burns. Damn. 

“Why do you have to make me feel small/So you can feel whole inside?/Why do you have to put down my dreams/So you're the only thing on my mind?”

Men ain’t shit kids. However, bonus points for the shade. 

9. You’re not Sorry 1/10

Ok, ok. Maybe this was a foolish endeavor.

Because yet again we have a very straight song. A good song. That was on Taylor’s episode of CSI. But oh dear. Very straight. Gets a measly one point. We started this post off so very very gay but damn. We seem to be nearing the end on a very straight note.

10. The Way I Loved You 20/10

Hey Remember what I said about this album being very straight.

WELL THAT WAS A LIE.

Is this a comphet album or am I projecting.

This is one of my favorite baby gay Taylor songs. Her masterful use of pronouns (he is sensible! And so incredible! And all my single friends are jealous! But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain, when it was two am and I was cursing your name!) makes the other person she’s singing about completely vague, while we know she isn’t happy with whichever guy she’s dating.

Mayhaps an early reaction to PRomances?

Either way this song is so good, truly an underrated gay gem I mean. Look at it.

“Breaking down and coming undone/It's a roller coaster kind of rush/And I never knew I could feel that much/And that's the way I loved you”

AND THE BRIDGE. Do all of her gay songs just have kickass bridges?

“He can't see the smile I'm faking/And my heart's not breaking/'Cause I'm not feeling anything at all/And you were wild and crazy/Just so frustrating/Intoxicating, complicated/Got away by some mistake and now…”

Damn. I’m imaging this with 2020 vocals and fucking ascending.

Also please watch the live performance of it from the Fearless tour. It’s such a damn shame this got cut from the movie and some woman in the front row is wearing a cowboy hat. Everyone is holding up those cameras everyone had to have before smartphones. Taylor is being endearing. It’s a good time.

11. Forever and Always 6/10

Bonus points for the ~drama~ of it all. Added last minute to the album? The iconic throwing of the chair in live performances?? All of it very dramatique and for that we stan.

Still pretty straight.

Also Joe Jonas responded to the song and why do I find his response so damn funny. “It’s part of being a musician, I guess. You write songs about each other.”

This is another song where the idea of Taylor’s grown up vocals on this is………..whew

12. The Best Day 0/10

This gets zero points because it’s about her literal mom.

Still makes me cry.

God bless Andrea Swift indeed

13. Change 13/10

We start the official tracklist with a gay song. We end it with a gay song.

We will ignore that it was originally written for Scott and BMR and instead induct it into the hall of gay pride anthems, as it should be. 

“We're getting stronger now, finding things they never found/They might be bigger but we're faster and never scared/You can walk away, say we don't need this/But there's something in your eyes says we can beat this”

“This revolution, the time will come/For us to finally win/And we'll sing hallelujah, we'll sing hallelujah”

The music video is cringe though lol

14. Jump then Fall 10/10

This song is gay because I choose it to be. <3

Like. Picture baby Taylor writing this song and playing it on her guitar to a girl she has a crush on telling her that she’ll protect her and they’ll be safe and in love and happy together. Gah, maybe I’m ~projecting~ but this sweet ass song always gets me and is EASILY in my top five Taylor songs. Super underrated and hecking cute. 

“We're on the phone and without a warning/I realize your laugh is the best sound/I have ever heard”

Like. Look at this shit.

“I watch you talk, you didn't notice/I hear the words but all I can think is/We should be together”

Tell me this is about the first time you get a crush on a girl and she’s your best friend and she’s amazing and beautiful and you realize you kinda want to kiss her and you hope she wants to kiss you too.

“I had time to think it oh, over/And all I can say is come closer/Take a deep breath and jump then fall into me”

And she’s the Romeo who's going to protect her!!!!! She’s the knight in shining armor in this song and I love that for her??

“The bottom's gonna drop out from under our feet/I'll catch you, I'll catch you/When people say things that bring you to your knees/I'll catch you/The time is gonna come when you're so mad you could cry/But I'll hold you through the night until you smile”

I won’t divulge into full on analysis here because. This is what this post is about but PLEASE listen to this song more. It’s such a gay little gem.

15. Untouchable 9/10

How does she make a cover sound gay.

It sounds so gay.

“You got to come on, come on, say that we'll be together/Come on, come on, little taste of heaven”

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay

16. Forever and Always Piano Version 1/10

This song gets 1/10 because I don’t like it. There. I said it.

17. Come in With the Rain 3/10

I can see why this is a bonus track. It doesn’t hit me as much as the other songs on the album.

But damn if I don’t want to scream sing this one driving down a high way.

18. Superstar 7/10

You can’t tell me this song is about a man. I simply won’t entertain the idea.

You cannot prove to me that this song is about a man. There is not a male pronoun in sight. 

>:)

19. The Other Side of the Door 6/10

Is this song about having a fight about being in the closet? Probably not. Will my gay little brain make it about that? Yep!

And that, funky little queer pals, is my gay rating of every Fearless song. Like and subscribe, #t3atmidnight

[impala666]

The One With Mrs. Bing Part One: She’s Back

Here we are. The episode I have been very excited about. Enjoy!

Friends rewrite (masterlist) Last Part (The One With The Monkey Part 4) 

Last night you had slept on the couch, you just wanted a little bit of your own space. During the night it had been nice, but now you were laying on your stomach with your face buried in your pillow trying to sleep. While you could hear Chandler making breakfast and drinking coffee before he headed off to work. You had to work yourself at the store in a few hours, but you just didn’t want to get up yet. The only thing that was going to help make your day was that you didn’t have that long of a shift anyway. So you’d work for a few hours and then spend many more hours with your friends just hanging out. Finally, you decided that enough was enough and it was time for you to get up and face your day. So rolling onto your back you let out a loud sigh and pushed the blankets off of you before you managed to make it to your feet. “Good morning, sunshine!” Chandler optimistically greeted you. You stopped at the peninsula of the counter and just glared at him, with your hair a big tangled mess which only made him smile more. “What?” He asked you, taking a sip from his coffee cup.

“You’re just being really cheery and I thought that was weird.” You shrugged it off though and entered the kitchen to get your own cup of coffee. 

“Where’s Joey?” Chandler asked.

“Not sure.” You answered honestly. “Probably still sleeping would be my guess.”

“How’s that going? I know you wanted to slow down, is that good?” Your big brother asked, just to check in on you.

“It’s been going great! He’s been surprisingly understanding and incredibly supportive. It’s just nice to have people who support me instead of trying to tear me down.” You smiled as you sat down across from him at the table.

“And you’re always going to from now on. Besides, if anyone knows about leaving home to pursue a career path that doesn’t meet the parents expectations other than you, it would definitely be Joey.” Chandler smiled at you in proudness and supportiveness.

“I know,” you told him with a small smile. For once in your life it was nice to know that if you fell, you had friends there to catch you and help you get back on your feet. You never had that with your parents; you could barely remember your dad before he got a divorce from your mom who was hardly ever home to begin with. All you really ever had was Chandler, at least you had him up until the moment your mom shipped him off to boarding school and then you were basically all alone until now. “And thanks for bringing up the whole disappointed parent thing.” You smiled at him in sarcastic thanks. 

“You are welcome,” Chandler chuckled along with your sarcasm. Then the both of you just continued to talk about your daily lives until Chandler had to go to work and you unfortunately had to start getting ready. 

********

All of you were finally done with your work day, so all of you went over to Monica and Rachel’s for some dinner all together telling each other about your day, to your surprise Phoebe and Monica had quite an exciting one. They caused a man they thought was attractive to be hit by an ambulance. “There are no conscious men in the city for you two?” Chandler asked, leaning against the couch as he silently judged his friends. 

“He doesn’t have anyone,” Monica defended herself and Phoebe. 

“Yeah. We feel kind of responsible.” Phoebe agreed. 

“I mean,” you started all high pitched, but when you felt Joey put his hand on your waist from behind you, you stopped when you heard him chuckle.

“I can’t believe you said woo-hoo.” Joey added as he kept laughing slightly. “I don’t even say woo-hoo.” 

“Oh! She’s coming up!” Rachel announced to everyone as she grabbed the TV remote and turned the volume up. Everyone else was excited to see who was going to be on the screen, but you and Chandler couldn’t help but make eye contact and roll your eyes. 

“When we come back we’ll be talking about her new book, Euphoria Unbound. The always interesting Nora Tyler Bing. You might want to put the kids to bed for this one.” Jay Leno announced as he lifted up his copy of your mothers latest erotic novels. You couldn’t help but feel sadder and sadder the more he talked about her before they went to commercial. Ross, Monica, and Joey sat next to you with big excited smiles on their faces. Chandler already didn’t want to watch this but when he saw you drooping into the couch and your smile falling into a frown with a sad look on his face, he knew he couldn’t take it any longer. He knew you hadn’t heard from your mother since you moved out because he hadn’t either. 

“We don’t have to watch this.” Chandler decided enough was enough. “Weekend at Bernie’s is on Showtime, HBO, and Cinemax.” He announced the change of TV as he picked up the remote.

“Come on, she’s your guys’s mom.” Joey complained in surprise that neither of you wanted to watch your mom on one of the biggest talk shows in America. The fact that Joey didn’t see why you were upset made you just that much more upset.  

“Exactly. Weekend at Bernie’s! Dead guy getting hit in the groin 20, 30 times!” Chandler tried one last time for the sake of both of you. 

“Guys.” Rachel beamed to you and Chandler. “I love your mom’s books. I cannot get on a plane without one. I mean, this is so cool.” Rachel was practically giddy when she found out that your mom was the author of her favorite novels. 

“You wouldn’t think so if you were 11 years old and all your friends are passing around page 79 of Mistress Bitch.” Chandler relayed. You would have jumped in on the conversation too, because man did you have a million stories, but you just couldn’t think of any. Plus because of recent events you weren’t really in the mood to talk. 

“Yeah, Chandler. I love your mom. I think she's a blast.”  Ross spoke, apparently on the side Rachel was on. That your mother was this fun, wonderful person. 

“Yeah, you say that because she’s not your mom.” You finally mumbled loud enough for all of them to hear you. They all turned to look at you, and for the first time they were seeing how hard this was for you. Ross immediately stopped talking, Monica and Phoebe looked at each other not sure if they should say something, and Joey wrapped an arm around your shoulder and pulled you a little closer to his side. It made you feel slightly better, but you just wanted to run and hide under the covers in Joey’s bed for at least a week. But when the others heard kissing noises, they all turned around to see that Paolo was here and was practically eating Rachel’s face off of her body. 

“When did Rigatoni get back from Rome?” Ross asked, now adding to the sad party you were having. 

“Last night.” Monica answered him.

“Really? So then his plane didn’t explode in a ball of fire?” Ross asked, clearly not jealous at all. “Just a dream I had. But phew.” He thought would be funny to say out loud. 

“Hey! Hey! She’s on!” Apparently Phoebe was also excited about all of this, and Joey left you and was now on the edge of his seat on the couch. 

“Ah! Nora Bing!” Paolo yelled in excitement, much to your dismay as you watched your mom walk onto the screen, waving at the audience on the other side of the camera. 

“Before we get to the book, now what is this about you being arrested in London? What’s that all about?” Jay Leno asked your mother, which had you rolling your eyes at that piece that was news to you. 

“Your mom was arrested?” Phoebe laughed with astonishment. 

“Shh, I’m busy beaming with pride.” Chandler told her, which clearly wasn’t accurate. 

“This is kind of embarrassing, but occasionally, after I’ve been intimate with a man..” your mom started her answer.

“Why would she say that’s embarrassing?” You masked your pain with fake humor. To which everyone ‘shhed’ you. 

“I just get this craving for kung pao chicken.” Your mom proudly answered for everyone. 

“That’s too much information!” Chandler yelled at the TV. 

“So now you’re doing this whole book tour thing. How’s that going?” Leno asked her. 

“Oh, fine. I’m leaving for New York tomorrow, which I hate. But I get to see my kids, who I love.” Your mom smiled proudly, but it was hard to tell from the botox that she had gotten done. But all that you could focus on was the fact that she was coming here. She was coming here, to New York, after everything that had happened, and that was the way you had to find out. You were dying on the inside. But all your friends around you and your boyfriend all awwed for you and your brother. You crossed your arms tighter over your chest, wishing you could be anywhere else right now. 

“Oh, this is how we find out.” Chandler yelled, sounding like he was pissed. “Most mom’s use the phone.” 

“You know, I…”Jay Leno started saying as he got comfortable in his seat. But he also seemed like he didn’t want to offend your mom.“Don’t take this the wrong way, I just don’t see you as a mom somehow. I don’t mean that bad.” 

“Oh, no.” Your mom scoffed while looking at the audience. “I am a fabulous mom. I bought my kids their first condoms.” Half of your friends turned to look at your brother while the other half turned to look at you with your hand over your eyes in embarrassment. You then just decided that you couldn’t handle it anymore and ran out of Monica’s apartment and to yours, and to Joey’s bed so you could hide. You were just glad that you managed to avoid eye contact with all of them. However, Chandler was just standing there completely mortified. 

“And then he burst into flames.” Chandler said to himself as he felt like he was dying on the inside. 

[ofstarsandfireflies]

Hadn’t seen this movie until tonight so this should be interesting.

Peter would never have thought that anything would come out of going to his school camp aside from making a few friends.

And his twin, Tom, thought the same thing until they were staring at one another.

As it turned out, they had been separated at birth when their fathers had divorced and taken one each to raise.

Peter’s father, Tony Stark, was one of the Avengers, and had made Peter his very own suit to fight right along side him.

Tom’s father, Stephen Strange, was the Sorcerer Supreme and was teaching him everything he knew.

And each of them wanted to know what their other father was like.

So they concocted a plan to switch places, knowing that when they were found out, their fathers would have to meet to unswitch them and hopefully fall back love.

Using their time together at camp wisely, Peter explained who Jarvis was, how his suit worked, what the layout of their house and the Avengers Compound was like and Tom taught him the basics that wouldn’t raise any eyebrows and how Wong and a magical cloak made up the rest of their family in the Samctum they lived in.

And when they went their seperate ways, neither expected the other to be so wonderful.

Tony made sure to have a healthy balance between work and spending time with Peter, putting calls on hold at any time whenever his son needed his attention, taking as much time as needed from Avengers business as was needed to the best parent he’d never had.

So when Tom walked in, wondering if Tony would even like him and his father held him tightly and told him he missed him, Tom almost started crying.

Tony had made sure to have two weeks off so he and Pete could spend their time tinkering in the workshop like he loved to do, no Avengers business or Stark Industries business, just father son business.

Tom has always thought that whoever his father had married had to have been the most wonderful and amazing person in the world, and Tony Stark truly was.

Peter was awestruck when he walked through the portal into the arms of his father, Stephen going on about all the boring things he’d had to deal with in London without him, how it had been too quiet.

With Peter’s timid responses, not knowing how to act in front of his father, Stephen got a strange look on his face, not expecting his loud as life son to be so quiet.

He brushed it off as Tom just being tired after the camping trip and tried to leave him alone to rest, but Peter didn’t want to be alone after so many years without him in case he woke up and found out it had all been a dream.

When Peter told him this, covering it as he’d just missed him during his time away, Stephen just held him tighter and didn’t let him go, both of them falling asleep on the couch.

Peter has always thought that whoever his father had married had to have been the most wonderful and amazing person in the world, and Stephen Strange truly was.

It was Wong who started to suspect something was wrong with him.

At first it was his appetite. Even when Tom has been sick in bed too weak to move, he’d still eaten at least three servings of Wong’s cooking, not a single bite and be done with it.

And he should have known about the trick door which liked to change its location every now and then.

But it was when the cloak kept its distance from him as if it didn’t know who he was that made him confront Tom about his weird behaviour, thinking something had gotten to him.

But never could he have imagined that it was Peter he was talking too, not Tom.

The last time Wong had seen him was when he’d been a baby.

And for all his years of observing the world with a stone face, Wong broke into tears and hugged the kid, shocked at how big he’d grown.

Over in New York, Tom was experiencing the exact same with Jarvis, only Jarvis made him tell Tony the truth.

Tony just stared at his son.

The son he gave up to Stephen so many years ago.

He’s been spending time with him without even realising it.

It’s only when he realises that he has to meet up with Strange to get Peter back that he starts going into panic mode.

He hasn’t seen him in years.

Years!

What if he still doesn’t want to see him?

Or, heaven forbid, if he does? What then?

Once everyone’s bags are packed, Tom makes them a portal to the Sanctum, Tony immediately catching Stephen’s eye as he walks straight into a wall.

It doesn’t take long for Stephen to be told what’s happened, but when Peter is told to grab his things to go back with Tony, the twins beg their fathers for a family dinner, one which Wong and Jarvis both decide to cook for before anyone can say no to it.

The family dinner turns into a candle lit dinner for two and Stephen and Tony use it to not only catch up, but to work out how and when their sons get to see one another.

And the next day Peter and Tom have to say goodbye to one another.

Tony is conflicted about leaving again, especially since the dinner last night brought up old memories and feelings he had to bury long ago, but he’s not about to force Stephen to be with him if he doesn’t want to just for their kids, even though if Stephen had asked him to he’d have said yes.

They’re back home less than five minutes when a portal opens again and Tom races into their home.

Tony didn’t want Tom to use his magic to come see them unless he had permission from Stephen.

That’s when Stephen took his cue to show himself.

He’d already lost Tony once, and now he was back in his life he couldn’t let him go again.

Tony thought it was foolish.

And stupid.

And unrealistic.

And unbelievable.

And exactly how he felt about Stephen.

So it came as no surprise when they decided to remarry.

Not to them, and especially not to their sons.

They’d hoped this would happen after all.

Quotes -

“So what’s your dad like? I mean is he the kind of father you can talk to or is he one of those workaholic types who says ‘I’ll talk to you later, honey.’ But, you know, never does? I hate that.”

“I don’t have a father, actually. I mean, I had one once, I suppose, but my parents divorced years ago. My mother never even mentions him. It’s like he evaporated into thin air or something.”

Tom and Peter discussing their family

“The truth is, you know, if we switch, sooner or later they’ll have to unswitch us.”

“And when they do they’ll have to meet again, face-to-face.”

“After all these years.”

Tom and Peter scheming to get their parents back together.

“So, doesn’t designing all these wedding gowns make you think about getting married again, or at least make you think about the F-word?”

“The F-word?”

“My father.”

“Oh, that F-word. Well, no, actually because I didn’t even wear a wedding gown when I married the F-word.”

Tom trying to make Tony think of Stephen and giving him a heart attack instead.

“I’m sorry. I can’t handle this. I mean I haven’t seen or heard from Nick Parker in over 11 years, and suddenly I’m flying halfway across the world to...I’m not mature enough for this! If the man didn’t make me so nuts, I’d still be married to him! I mean, we came up with this arrangement so that we’d never have to see each other again. I mean, look at me, Martin. Have you ever seen me like this?”

“Well...”

“Don’t answer that.”

Tony panicking about meeting Stephen after so long.

“You know, sometime if we’re ever really alone, maybe we could talk about what happened between us. It all feels a bit hazy to me now. It ended so fast.”

“It started so fast.”

“Well, that part I remember perfectly.”

Stephen and Tony flitting.

“And I suppose you just expect me to go weak at the knees and fall into your arms and cry hysterically and say ‘We’ll just figure this whole thin out.’ A biocontinental relationship with our daughters being raised here and there and...and you and I just...picking up where we left off and...and growing old together and...and...Come on, Nick, what do you expect? To live happily ever after?”

“Yes. To all the above. Except you don’t have to cry hysterically.”

“Oh yes, I do.”

Tony wanting this relationship with Stephen and Stephen wanting it too

Two of a kind

Split apart when their fathers were divorced, Peter and his twin Tom hatch a plan to get them back together so they can be a family.

January, February

Missed a Day? Catch up here!

Day 1 Day 2 Day 3 Day 4 Day 5

Day 6 Day 7

[s-creations]

Return the Flames - Chapter 11

All at Dead Bird Studios knew of Amos' (The  Conductor's) ability. How the owl could suddenly erupt into flames if  angered enough. When the studio first opened, Dominic (DJ Grooves) was  told that Amos had his ability under control. Nothing to worry about. No  possible loss of anything from an open flame.

A few years later however, and that control seems to have lessened to a dangerous degree.

It should have just been a simple, week long drive to fix the problem. It really should have been.

Dominic should have asked a lot more questions and should have been prepared for a twist ending.

_________________

Fandom: A Hat in Time         Rating: General Audience         Relationships/Pairings: The ConductorXDJ Grooves       Warnings: Eventual depictions of violence, slow burn relationship, named characters, attempt of an accent, being hunted down, a race against time (sort of).

Author's Note: This was the chapter I've been waiting forever to write. This is what got me to write this story. This deals with backstories for both characters, so I hope you enjoy it! 

Amos was not happy with the pounding headache he woke up. Sure, he was honestly used to it. Still doesn’t mean he liked it.  He let out a groan, silently berating himself for drinking so much once again, and moved to get up. Only to have something hold him in place. It took a while for his mind to put together that he was pressed against Dominic. The penguin snoring softly, hair a bit of a mess and his sunglasses askew on his face. An arm wrapped around the other director, Amos unable to move away. The owl felt his cheek becoming warmer. Realizing he felt the familiar warmth in his chest growing once again. 

 “And how are we feeling this morning?”

 Further awake and startled into action, Amos was able to break free. Feathers puffing up in embarrassment upon seeing the Elder in the doorway. 

 “...What happened last night?”

 “Ah ah, I asked a question first.”

 Amos really did not like this goat.

 “I have a peckin’ headache. But ‘m honestly used to that. The flame is back. So, whatever was put in me is gone. And ‘m ready for this whole thin’ ta be over with.”

 “That’s a fair assessment. As per your question, you became drunk last night after which you shared a rather… ‘intense’ dance with Dominic. And when you couldn’t support your own weight, you both retreated here. Where I’m going to assume you two just went to sleep.”

 Amos groaned, rubbing his forehead. Why did he feel like a teenager being caught by their parents? “Sounds like it was quite the party.” 

 “You certainly made it one. Now, you made mention that the flame has returned.”

 “Aye.”

 “Then you two will need to finish the rest of your journey. It will only be a one to two day treck. I would recommend you leave as soon as possible. Your car will remain here and you can retrieve it after you’ve returned to the village. But walking would be best in order for you to avoid unwanted attention.”

 Amos sat up further at that. “Do you think they’re here? The agents?”

 “I doubt a pursuer who’s done what they have so far would give up at the end of the line. While the jungle will provide coverage, you two will need to move carefully.”

 “Right...right…”

 “I will have a few packs put together for you. Wake Dominic, you will need to leave soon.”

 Amos merely nodded at that. He attempted to wake his companion as soon as they were left alone. The penguin seemed unconcerned at sharing a bed with the owl when he woke up. More upset about supporting his own headache than anything else. It took awhile for them to collect themselves and join the outside world. Bags waiting for them when they finally emerged.

 “Just head straight for the mountain. You can’t miss it and there are no natural obstacles in your way. Be careful you two.”

 Those were the Elder’s final words before they departed.

 The trek was quiet. Amos caught up in his own head to think about conversing with Dominic. It was both a joy and a strange sorrow in the thought that this ordeal was almost over. 

 He was tired of being chased, being hunted down, being in constant pain. To think it was almost over raised his spirits slightly. Only for it to be stomped back down in fear of what was going to come after. Was he going to survive this? Were he and Dominic an ‘item’, as his daughter liked to say. Were these emotions only being created because of the situation? Did he want it to be real? Was he willing to let someone get close again?

 “It’s getting dark.” Dominic’s voice cut through the buzz in Amos’ mind. The owl looked up to see the sky painted in that familiar colors of sunset. 

 “Uh...yeah, it is…”

 “I’m not a huge fan of tromping through the jungle in the dark. We should set up camp.”

 The owl’s ears twitched. Looking between the sinking sun and the mountain. It was a lot closer than before, they could honestly make it there before tonight fully arrived if they wanted to. But if Dominic wanted to sleep, Amos wasn’t going to argue.

 “Sure… One more night of peace?”

 “Yeah, something like that.”

 They fell quiet after that. A small, smokeless fire was soon burning away between the two. The sky a deep purple with stars starting to dot the night sky. With how wide and ever expanding space seemed to be out here, Amos was becoming nervous. There was no coverage of a hotel or a hut to keep the night sky away. The constant reminder just hanging over his head.

 Letting out a sigh, Amos reached over and dug further into his bag. Another sigh, this time of relief, sounded as he pulled out a familiar fermented fruit. “Maybe the old goat wasn’t too bad. Heads up Dominic.”

 The penguin fumbled slightly as he caught the said fruit, voicing his frustration with a deadpan, “Really.”

  “One final hurrah.”

 Dominic frowned as he watched Amos take a large bite of his own fruit. The penguin let out a soft sigh, deciding the owl may have a point, and took a bite as well. While he was able to hold his own and cut himself off when he needed to, Dominic was soon supporting a flushed face and a drunken owl. Laughing and beaming as he joined the other in singing shanties that they both only knew a few words to. Or that their drunken mind was making them forget the words. 

 As they belted out the final note, they collapsed onto the ground. Lying head to head as they laughed, slowly calming down as they stared up at the sky. Even with what felt like impending doom was on the horizon, Dominic was happy at that moment. He wasn’t sure how this was going to end. But, at the moment, he just wanted to enjoy the atmosphere. The calm, the quiet, the false peace with the possibly threat being mere steps away from where they lied. 

 He let out a yawn, feeling himself starting to drift off…

 “Ma couldn’t have kids.”

 Dominic flinched slightly. He rolled his head to the side to look at Amos. “Pardon?”

 “She couldn’t have kids,” Amos repeated, “No matter how many times she tried. Or how badly she wanted it. Nothin’ worked. Married three times. Got the reputation as a bed hopper. ...I think she thought that havin’ a kid would brin’ her some kind of happiness in her life…”

 “In a final desperation, she prayed for a higher power to help. And the Celestial Phoenix appeared… She was pregnant the next day. Ostracized the day after. Who ever heard of a God appearing before a divorced and ‘bed warmer’? She told me she didn’t care because she was so happy ta be carryin’ me. Then I was born and… I honestly think I made everythin’ so much worse.” 

 “Amos…” Dominic frowned, unsure of what he could say.

 “Ya can’t look at this ugly mug and tell me this is a solver of problems. I honestly believe I made things worse. I was the demon child created from wedlock with a mother who’s insane. We had to leave the backwash of a town when our house was burnt down. Ma was mentally broken when I was a teenager and only became worse with her age. ‘M pretty sure she was gone before she finally passed away.”

 “My wife left when Amelia was born. She...the wife...married me in a sort of novelty. A stab at her stuffy family by havin’ a monstrous thing be her husband instead of nobility. But when Amelia held more of my features then was ‘acceptable’, the wife had to leave. She couldn’t handle it. I raised Amelia the best I could. I was hopeful she could have a happier, easier life than what my childhood was.” 

 “Only for her husband to leave. Because Amelia fell ill after givin’ birth to all the kids. It was too much responsibility for him. ...She’s always smilin’. I do wonder sometimes how she turned out so perfectly. When she has a...a curse of a father. Because that’s what I am. ‘M a curse. I shouldn’t even be here! Only divine intervention brought this monster into reality. So the laws of nature themselves had to be broken. And all it produced was a cursed, hideous creature that is me. My own body is even tryin’ to tear itself apart. I’ve been tryin’ to destroy myself since I was born and no one is safe. ‘M a walkin’, tickin’ bomb of destruction.”

 Dominic swallowed weakly, feeling sick as he watched Amos breakdown. What was he supposed to say? What could he say?

 “My father is an ice tycoon.”

 Amos slowly looked over to the flushed penguin. 

 “What?”

 “Ah, so… That largest commodity from the Moon is ice.”

 “I know that.”

 “Right, well, it only comes from three different families. Mine being the top company, run by my father. We’re the typical high brow, snooty people you’d think of. Appearance is everything to us. We have to be as clean as the ice we produce.”

 Amos sat up slowly, swaying slightly. “Ya can’t control the creation of ice that closely. It’s ice.”

 Letting out a small huff and sitting up as well, Dominic laid his hand out flat, palm up. The owl let out a chirp of shock as a chunk of ice was formed. Resting directly in the center of Dominic’s hand. “We can make our own ice. Quite literally.”

 “No peckin’ way… Wait, did ye make that wall of ice before? When those government goons were chasin’ after us?”

 “Uh...yeah. I really only intended to make the road slick and trip them up. I was a little on edge at the moment.”

 “That was peckin’ amazin’.”

 Dominic laughed softly. “It...just comes naturally.”

 Amos laughed this time, almost falling back onto the ground if Dominic hadn’t kept him upright. “Peckin’ amazin’... So, yer loaded right? Ice companies make a lot.”

 “No… I’m disowned,” Dominic’s feathers puffed at the owl’s raised brow, “Parents weren’t happy that I wanted to become a movie director. I’m the oldest of four and the only male. I was supposed to take over the business. But I made it very clear how I wasn’t interested with it in any way. So, I was given a choice. Join the business or never talk to them again. And...here I am…”

 It fell quiet for a moment. Dominic had never told anyone this before. Not even his Moon Penguins knew his full story. They were just aware that the director wasn’t on good terms with his family. But, if Amos was sharing the sacred life’s story, why shouldn’t Dominic?

 “I didn’t know ya had siblings.” Amos eventually voiced. 

 “Well, I didn’t know you were part mystical fire being. So I guess we’re even.” Dominic teased, smiling hearing Amos laugh at that.

 “That’s fair. Ta be fair to myself, however, I never thought I would be in a situation like this.”

 “We were also never on good speaking terms with each other before either.”

 “Aye, another fair point. Did ya ever think how weird it was that we both were given the same studio?”

 “Oh absolutely! We really should have gone to the main office to complain about that.”

 “But then we would have argued about who would be kicked out first.”

 “It would have been you for sure.”

 “As peckin’ if!” They shared another laugh at that. Amos eventually leaned over to rest himself against Dominic. The penguin welcomed the contact. “...Tell me about your siblings.”

 “Three sisters.”

 “Oh, fun.” 

 “Hey, how do you think I came across this amazing sense of fashion?”

 “Thought you were color blind to be honest.”

 “How rude.”

 Amos chuckled before pushing Dominic gently. “Anyway, three sisters?”

 “Abigail is only one year younger than me. We were very close growing up. She had a backbone sturdier than I could ever hope for and stuck up for me when our parents started their ‘talks’. As far as I can tell, she’ll be taking over the business… I hope she’s okay with that.”

 “She sounds like a business woman.”

 “I think you’d get along with her. Shila’s next. If you think I’m a diva, you need to meet her. If attention wasn’t on her at all times, she would throw an absolute fit. She was actually one of my first actresses. Gave me my first headache too.”

 Dominic paused to listen to Amos laugh softly. He really loved that sound. “Last is Bethany. I don’t really remember much of her. She was only two when I left. I do remember she was very quiet. With wide curious eyes. I really hope she was able to keep that curiosity…”

 “Abigail made sure to do so, no doubt in my mind. If she was as determined to keep ya safe, ‘m sure that focus went to Bethany as well.”

 “I hope so… I hope they’re all okay…”

 “‘M sure they are.”

 The penguin hummed softly, attention on the large, luminous sphere that was above them. Amos shuffled closer, his chin resting on Dominic’s shoulder. His attention going to the same place. “...Do you miss them?”

 “Every day.”

 “Have you tried to find them? Talk to them?”

 “I think they’re on the Moon still...and I’m not overly fond with contacting that place.”

 “Honestly, that’s fair.”

 Giving another hum, Dominic reached up and scratched behind Amos’ ear. The owl let out a small chirp as he pressed closer. “...Did you ever think your life would end up like this?”

 “I knew I would eventually have to travel here. Another burden to carry because of my birth right. But I wasn’t expected to be hunted down…or the company… I know I don’t say it. In fact, I’ve said the opposite a lot. But…’m glad you came.”

 “More of I berated you to let me come because you’re so stubborn.”

 Amos laughed. “Ya got me there…”

 “...I’m glad I came along as well. I would have been worrying the entire time.”

 “I’d probably be dead at this point if you hadn’t come.”

 “That’s frightening to think about,” Dominic frowned, wrapping his arm around the other. “Do you think we could call this feud over? I’m...honestly so tired of it.”

 “Yeah… ‘m too. It should have ended a long time ago…”

 “We’re both just two, old, stubborn fools.”

 “Oi, easy on those adjectives.”

 “I’m describing both of us. Calm down… How do you think the crew will react?”

 “Shocked but absolutely thrilled. I think everyone's more over this than we are.”

 Dominic laughed at that. “Yeah, probably. We should make a movie together. After all of this.”

 “Ah...kind of a big step.”

 “But I think it’s an appropriate one.”

 “...Yeah...yeah, I think it is too.”

 They fell quiet once more. A warm, happy buzz falling over them. Dominic’s eyes on the dancing fire while Amos’ remained on the Moon. Both falling asleep curled next to each other as the luminous orb traveled over them.

[buccigang-headcanons]

La Squadra Backstories!!!! Stream of consciousnesss style!

So literally I just sat down and wrote down exactly what I thought. I have not edited these at all lmaooo. But I made long drawn out backstories for our underrated assassins so enjoy!!

T/W + C/W - idk I talk about people dying in a lot of ways. Child abuse, drugs, severe illness, dead cats. This stuff is a mess I really didn’t censor it. But nothing is described in detail cuz I’m too lazy for that.

————

Prosciutto cuz he’s at the top of my mind. Mmkay he and Pesci are brothers but not by blood. Pro was an orphan, I still wanna make him Russian, and pesci’s extremely kind and gentle family adopted him when he was like 7. They were like literally a garden catalogue family. Perfection. The parents died when pro was like 15, Pesci was 13?? Idk the age difference I’m just making shit up now. And Pesci had no fucking idea what to do, they didn’t have any other family, and pro was like “I’m still basically a hardened criminal from living on the streets of russia most of my childhood, so joining the local mafia should be a piece of cake”. It was.

Risotto..... fuck it. Polpo is risottos dad. I’ve seen that so much and fuck it I’m here for it now. Idk how I feel about the whole Mariah from part 3 being his mom that seems too coincidental. But either way, he is half Spanish. I don’t think he’s ever been in touch with his Spanish roots at all, but that’s what he is. Polpo had too much fun on vacay in Spain. But it was a once night stand and polpo, a skinny king back in the mid 70s, fucked off to do mafia stuff and didn’t know about this kid. Risotto never knew his father. Time goes by, about the time he’s 10, rizzo’s mom moves to Italy to find the man she once loved. Since the 70s, she has been married and divorced 4 times, disowned by her entire family, and she speaks only of Polpo, the man who swept her off her feet and then disappeared into the night. Leaving only this child with his matching eyes. So they live in Italy, risotto is about 13 now and his mom has been searching seriously for polpo for about 3 years. One day, she gets too close, mafia takes her out. Risotto is all alone in a country he has lived in for less than 3 years. So he decides to take revenge against the mafia. He goes to hunt them down. (I’m too lazy to write out how. Gets a gun. Basically the scene in part 5 where the kid is like “you killed my father and now I’m gonna kill you!!” But he chickens out???) yeah except rizzo didn’t chicken out, he stood firm and killed 2 of them. The other 2 surrendered, and immediately asked rizzo to take polpos test. He did. And he unknowingly met his father, the man his mother had died looking for. He stared into his fathers eyes, black sclera reflecting each other, and passed his test with ease.

Wowwwwwwwww alrighty then that was something. Let’s shake out those jitters because fuck that was intense and let’s move onto some happy shit.

Melone!! Always a bottle of joy. He was a phenomenal student, a perfect child. Perfect grades, perfect attitude, perfect looks. Onlyyyy tiny thing is he murdered cats and buried their heads in the back yard. But that was his only flaw. Aaaaaaaand mayyybe trying to use his extensive knowledge of molecular biology and genetics (even at as young as 11) to asexually breed said cats.

But, apart from that, absolutely perfect specimen of a young boy. And he kept that up until college. Until the rape accusation. Melone had no interest in having sex with her, he swore under oath in open court, he only wanted to “extract her essence” in the hopes of making her amazing genetics stay pure for centuries.

Due to his previously amazing school record, he was allowed to plead not guilty by reason of insanity (because the justice system is bullshit) and was released to his parents. During this whole process, Melone’s mother had begun to grow suspicious of her son, wondering if there was something wrong with him. This led her to explore the crawl space under the garage, more commonly known as “Melone’s childhood laboratory”. The cat skulls alone were enough to set her off. They allowed him into their home long enough to fool the court, but parole officers don’t pay attention, and they kicked him to the curb a month later. Broke, alone, and with no real skills other than his genius mind and gorgeous body, he became a prostitute. It was only a few months before he wandered up to a gigantic white haired man with angry eyes and asked if he wanted a date. Instead of declining, our good ol rizzo just knocked him out cold and brought him home. The rest is history. Literally because I can’t think of what would happen between that and Melone joining the mafia. I assume he was just their house pet for a little while before he decided he wanted a stand too.

Oh good lord these are getting insane. Better keep going. Okay I have no idea what’s about to come out of my head for ghia but oh Lordy. Might as well start. Ghiaccio wasn’t always quite as angry, but it’s actually gonna be a sweet story. Kinda. He used to act perfect, even tho he always felt the anger inside. He was forced to bottle it up and put on a happy exterior always. His mother was Belgian. (From experience, Belgian mothers (Flemish in particular) will beat you until your ass is raw if you talk back). Italian father, they lived in italy. He had 4 sisters, he was the middle child of 5. Around high school, he started acting out. Of course this was due to all of his bottled up anger from the past 15 years. 4 shattered sinks, 16 holes in the drywall, and one classroom fire later, Ghiaccio was expelled from school. His parents were too busy brimming with joy about the success of all his sisters that they didn’t take much notice to him. “If you’re going to behave in such a manner you might as well leave” his mother said. She was past the point of caring enough to beat him. So he left. 16 and with no where to go, he wandered the streets. After a year or so, Ghia had gotten used to that life, and was angry at everyone, sometimes when he wasn’t even angry. Anger had become his coping mechanism. Screaming was easier than talking. Until one day, he screamed at a blonde man in an intersection. Prosciutto was driving back to the squads hang out, boxes of takeout in the back seat of the car. He had chosen to not stop at the red light, just for fun, and nearly ran into our blue haired teenager. Ghia proceeded to cuss him out for a good 4 minutes in the middle of this intersection before pro cut him off. “Get in the back. “ he said, with his own special brand of brotherly love. “I know how you can put that anger to good use”. Ghiaccio, having no real reason to object, got in the back seat. Prosciutto was silent the rest of the drive and Ghiaccio yelled about all the take out food, now splattered on the backs of the seats due to the sudden slam on the brakes.

Y’all I don’t even remember the other la squadra members. Let’s do sorbet/gelato because they have zero backstory or personality so I can just ramble. *Clears throat* let’s begin. These fuckers. Friends since birth. Grew up together, always really close. They were both dirt poor, but because the only school nearby was a decent public school, when were able to slightly experience middle class living. They liked it. They wanted to see upper class, and once they did, they wanted to be there. These two were money grubbing bffs, I’m talking josuke and okuyasu, but like waaaaay more intense and also violent. They both left home around 14, together of course. Gelatos father had left them a few years prior, and his family were on the brink of starvation. Figuring they didn’t need another mouth to feed (and completely abandoning his post as family patriarch lol) he left with sorbet, who’s family had all died in various ways over the years. Most recently, his older sister being taken by some illness that was probably easily treatable, but with no means for a doctor, she died in days. The boys left home and school, and made a living by pickpocketing tourists and occasionally launching into larger heists. They made a decent living for themselves, but eventually started spending their money on drugs. It’s was sorbet first, heroin was really good to him for awhile. Gelato was against it, knowing it was the reason sorbets family had been so poor to begin with. His father was an addict, and despite holding down a job fairly well, spent all his earnings on drugs. Eventually he became too dependent, lost his job, and OD’d. But around this same time, when the boys were 16/17, they were starting to realize their feelings for each other. Confused teenaged minds full of budding love led to Gelato giving in, and soon their days were filled with heroin fueled ecstatic sex. They lived like this for awhile, existing in half reality, until one day they chose to set their pickpocketing targets on a short man with close cropped gray hair. The plan was perfect, sorbet bumped into the man and gelato passed by to grab his wallet, and suddenly they were the size of mere ants. In an instant, they were returned to size, left to wonder if it was real or just a hallucination from long term drug use. But they didn’t run. Formaggio introduced himself, with a loose handshake and a pause to spit out some tobacco, and promptly invited them to a “party”. Although, Formaggio was honest in his promise, this party did have drugs.

Cheese boys turn!! Seriously who am I forgetting??? Illuso my mirror man! Am I forgetting someone else too?? Idk. But shut up Kel it’s cheese boys turn.

So. Formaggio. Probably the most chill childhood. Lower middle class, pretty average, but he was quite gifted with sports. Soccer was his main, and also a fantastic competitive swimmer. (Okay I have a separate hc that Bruno is really good at soccer so hol horse up a moment so I can imagine those 2 playing soccer together in friendly competition. In my lil au where Bruno is in la squadra because I say BruPro exes rights please and thanks.) but anyway, he got really good at soccer and was offered a scholarship to play at a fancy pants private high school when he was 14. Of course his parents made him go, this has been the family’s dream for years, and formaggio’s as well. So high school is amazing, he’s starting to attract attention from universities even tho he’s barely in grade 11 by this point. And it’s all really amazing until he realizes. This isn’t what he wants. And it’s just that. He doesn’t want to play soccer anymore, he doesn’t want to potentially be famous. He just wants to be a kid. So he leaves school, he leaves home, he wants to start over. And he wanders into a diner and sees this small group of weirdly dressed men. At this point, it’s rizzo, pro, Pesci, and ghia. And he’s staring at them because they’re dressed like circus clowns but their aura is so murderous. And then the one who looks like a giant pineapple starts staring back. Pesci gets up and walks over to Formaggio. “I know you! You’re that amazing kid soccer player!!” And he just goes on and on about shit he read in the news (70% of it was false) until pro comes over and yanks his idiot brother away. Pro starts asking Formaggio questions, thinking he could be a good target. Stupid little rich kid. But to prosciuttos surpise, Formaggio is just a down to earth kid with no more money to his name than he needs to pay for this meal. Prosciutto takes him home after that. He doesn’t really offer any explanation.

(The rambling at the beginning of this paragraph actually happened lol so I paused for like 4 hrs oops)

Alright we are back. Had to leave to go to therapy and then scream at my mother and cry to my boyfriend but we are ready to go! Illuso and I really hope he’s the last one and I’m not forgetting one. Illuso was raised in an orphanage from infancy. No idea who his parents could even be. Fun fact: one of the nuns at the orphanage (cuz it’s an orphanage in Italy in 1980, they’re catholic.) nicknamed him Illuso because he was always pointing at things that weren’t there. As a tiny baby and a child, he would always be looking at things no one else can see (yes illuso is a natural stand user fight me). The nuns called him illuso as an insult, hoping to shame him into stopping. He never did. When he outgrew the orphanage, he decided to join the priesthood. He was 19, a priest in training, when the mafia came to the orphanage. They were collecting, and illuso knew they didn’t have the money this month. He tried to talk the mobsters down, but that went about as well as planned. 4 bullets to the chest, 3 open heart surgeries, and half a dozen resuscitations later, Illuso was released from the hospital. The orphanage had been shut down, and no one knew what had happened to the children or the nuns. With no where to go, illuso knew of one place that could use talents like his. The talents of steadily stealing money from the starving children of the church for a decade. It was during polpos test that illuso’s stand manifested. Not due to the arrow, but to protect its user from the other stand. Illuso was able to avoid Black Sabbath by hiding in his newfound mirror world until it was time to return the lighter to polpo (kinda cowardly but whatever.) he was assigned to risottos group by chance and was the last to join excluding Melone. But they loved him as if they had found him themselves.

[weeklyfangirl]

Frat Boy Pt. 21

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7 (1), part 7 (2), part 8, part 9, part 10, part 11, part 12, part 13 , part 14, part 15, part 16, part 17, part 18, part 19 , part 20

HI LOVIES. Please enjoy a Friday update on the Frat Boy universe. This one is a bit of a breather after the TUMULTUOUS ANGST of the last chappie. Shorter than my usual, but it’s all the chapter needed. Tons more y/n and Harry interaction on the way in the next! Have a safe and happy day loves xx

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Things I want:

Live a life that helps others

Financial freedom

Experience a great love

Visit the the Pincio Gardens in Italy

To have more dreams and fewer nightmares

Doodle more

Acquire a first edition book, either because an old  friendly man who owns an antique bookshop decides to give it to me in a bonding moment, or because I have accomplished #2 and I am celebrating being a Boss Bitch

To be happy

Please note: not necessarily in that order

 It was taped above my desk, waiting for me to bring it in to the next session. I hesitated to write number 6. It was a dream I hardly entertained after committing my scholarly life to pursue medicine. I used to love to doodle. All the time. Since elementary school. I doodled so much my mom dedicated a wall in the house to my illustrations. She hung a sign above it that affectionately said “Y/N’s Doodles.” Seriously, you couldn’t get me to stop. Even if it was gross sappy sketches of my crush Billy who I would NEVER show on the playground at recess.   

 My doodling stopped how these things normally do. Because life grew busier than anything else, and the sketchpad and easel my dad had bought for me at a garage sale became ignored, collecting dust in the corner of my room. At some point, it’d become a year since I’d drawn anything, and then it was two, and three, and by this point I’d realized I was the one who’d need to create her own stability in life and medicine was the more logical fit. It wasn’t that I didn’t see the value in drawing anymore, I just had other things take up my time. It became a comfort just knowing I used to draw. Paul had paved his way, and now I was on my way to do the same. At least with medicine, my soul felt fed. It was almost comfort enough. 

  “oH WE GOT A ROGUE ONE.” 

 A flying toenail hit my eye. 

 “WHAT THE-” I flailed my arms, as though there were a thousand more coming. Renny’s mouth opened in shock, her guilty body hunched over her bent leg. Clippers in hand.  

 “Sorry!!” Renny burst up laughing.

 “oH MY GOSH CAN YOU DO THAT OVER A TRASH CAN OR SOMETHING?!” 

 “IT HAD A MIND OF ITS OWN!!” she screamed back. 

 I blinked rapidly, my left eye watering up and spilling painless tears. “Well I’m going to have conjunctivitis at the studio later. Or I’ll be stumbling in blind.” I wiped it away.

 I heard another clip and she put up her hands with another giggle. 

 “All done. And you won’t stumble, I’m going to be there.” Renny extended her leg, her perfectly trimmed foot nearly touching the ceiling.

 “You’re just going to solicit Zayn to be his next subject.” 

 “Maybe,” her grin grew devious. “But also because I want to see if he captured the angelic beauty and complex nymph nuances of my best friend.” 

 I put a hand to my chest, still aching from uncertainty. “Honored.” 

 “Want to watch another episode until it’s time to go?” 

 This whole lazy morning had been an OC Housewives bingefest. She’d seen it on my homepage and had a complete spazz, twitching whilst proclaiming but i’ve been trying to get you to watch this show for YEARS!! When she saw the old season I was on, though, she didn’t have to question why her pestering had miraculously worked. She didn’t mention him aloud besides giving me a pointed look. And so, we watched it, even though I wasn’t really in the mood to see anything about Harry right now. It’d hurt more than I thought to walk away from him last night, and to see how sad he looked when I did. 

 After last night, he hadn’t posted anything to social media. He’d called, twice, but I knew he was drunk, or worse, and I was tired, and whatever he would say he could tell me in the morning. Even though I knew he wouldn’t. 

 And he didn’t. 

 And therein lay the problem. 

 It hurt to see his family on my little box of a computer screen, weird to see his life and get glimpses of his childhood. I felt like a hacker spying on home videos. But then I reminded myself that thousands of people had already done the same. At this point, it was just… morbid curiosity.

 “Nah, I don’t know if I can handle any more of that right now. Dr. Rhinecuff is going to yell at me if I don’t return these scanned copies to him by Monday.” 

 “Ew, he smells like meat.” 

 “RENNY!!” 

 “I’m just saying. That one time I went with you it smelled like pastrami in his office. He has a PhD, but isn’t with-it enough to buy air freshener.”

 “He likes pastrami sandwiches, let him live.” 

 She scrolled on her phone, not bothering to respond, and my gaze turned to the window. 

 “Hey Renny?” 

 “Hm.” 

 A bird flew close to the glass, halting just before it hit it, then zooming off in the opposite direction. “What’d you do when your parents were fighting?” 

 “Ummm…” I knew the question registered in her mind when she stopped scrolling, suddenly concerned. “Are your parents okay?”

 “Yeah. I mean, kind of.” I glossed over it, not caring to get into the bitter details. “I was just curious.” 

 “Uhh..” She plucked at the soft cotton of her cotton candy pajamas that were fraying at the knees. “I lost my virginity to Zach,” she half-laughed.   

 “Zach? Neighbor boy Zach?” 

 Renny nodded. She always sounded a little sad when she talked about him. Zach was the hot college boy who shared a backyard fence with Renny, the girl who may or may not have used her kitchen stool to peak over and see him workout on the grass every summer he came home. I’d known they’d slept together. I just didn’t think he was her first. 

 “I just tried to be out of the house as much as I could,” she said. “Found my true love Mary J.” 

 “Oh.” 

 “It was shitty, but I’m glad I got it over with.”

 “The divorce or your virginity.” 

 “Both,” she chortled. “Why what’s up? Are you sad or something? I have a j in my drawer.” 

 “No, no, I’m fine.” Mostly I was just wondering what it must be like to feel so sexually liberated. In my house sex wasn’t talked about. At all. The inevitable sex scene in every other movie would result in my dad blaring out “WHAT KIND OF MOVIE IS THIS!” in an attempt to make it less awwkard, but having it backfire and only make it horrendously more awkward. I wasn’t saving my virginity for anyone in particular, but after all those romance novels, I wanted it to be… something. I wanted to feel something towards the person where it would justify something I’ve kept to myself for so long. I wanted it to be intense. I wanted it to be like the books. Like a Frank Sinatra song that swept up your heart and transported you back to a time of gentlemen and cigars and women in long evening gowns with fur coats and martinis. 

 “I wish I could just get it over with,” I confessed. One half of me screamed YOU’RE IN YOUR TWENTIES HAVE ALL THE SEX while the other half said YOU’VE WAITED THIS LONG DAMN IT HOLD OUT A LITTLE LONGER. I didn’t know which part of me was compromising more. 

 Renny leaned in, quick. “Would you do it with Harry?” 

 Like the flip of a switch, I remembered the sensuous heat of his body against mine, wrapping me up and pressing me against him where we just fit. And I couldn’t imagine how much better it’d feel to be even more connected to him. 

 “Maybeeee…?” 

 But then there was last night. 

 I cringed. No matter how with me he’d seemed… he couldn’t have been present after mixing whatever the hell he took and a handle of alcohol. Did I really want someone like that? Someone who could only give a shell of themselves? 

 “No, I wouldn’t. Or- ugh, I don’t know. I don’t know if it could ever mean as much to him.” 

 Renny nodded. “I mean, don’t let him pressure you, obviously. If he does, I’ll kick his baby maker smack into his prostate. Prostate. See, anatomy. You taught me that.” 

 “Haha, no, he’s not like that.” My brows stitched. I was confused why he wasn’t more like that, actually. We’d known each other for several months now and he hadn’t even put a finger in me. When I thought about it, it actually frustrated me. Don’t pressure me to do anything, but I wanted to be pushed to do something. I was never the bold one in areas like this. 

 Not that I should be so willing to do anything with him anymore anyways. Something shifted in me when I’d seen him last night. It wasn’t a shift I could easily describe, but it’d set me a foot apart from my heart. A bit of me was shocked that it had happened so suddenly. 

 But this shift was new, and my heart still wanted what it wanted. I knew that if I watched any more OC Housewives with Harry’s toddler curls and surfer tan, I’d be sucked right back into speculating about what our future kids could look like. And if I saw him? 

 You were right, Harry. You are fucked. 

 I cringed again. That was harsh. That was very very harsh. 

 I didn’t know if I’d have the courage to apologize. What if my pheromones went berserk and magnetized me to his side??

 Renny was right.

 I needed therapy. 

 The clippers were tossed back on my desk.

 “Thanks,” she said. “Have you started on your DG Double P yet?” 

 DG Double P = Renny Speak for DG Pretty Please. 

 I groaned. “No. I don’t know how I’m going to do it, honestly. I have to-”

 “NO!!! Don’t tell me. We’re not supposed to tell each other.” Her hand extended in panic.

 “Fine. I can keep a secret.” 

 I was getting a little too good at that lately.

 She moved onto her belly, splaying her arms out in a dramatic fashion, face squished against the comforter. “Isn’t it just killing you inside.” She was dead serious. 

 “Yeah, more than you know.” 

 And I was serious, too. 

 --------------------------------------

 I wasn’t expecting people to dress up as much as they did. Donned in my only pair of yoga pants and a chunky white sweater, I walked arm-in-arm with Renny past girls in cocktail dresses and guys in button-downs. 

 Something that sounded like a baby’s cry filled my ears, but it was gone as soon as we walked through the doors to the on-campus gallery.  . 

 “Woah did you hear that?” 

 Renny nodded, tossing her head back. “There’s a baby somewhere.” 

 It reminded me of the bodiless screams in my nightmare. In my chunky sweater, I shivered undetectably.

 The on-campus gallery rotated exhibits throughout the year, but this time, student sculptures were on pedestals, nightmarish portraits hung on the walls, and red and orange tapestries swooped down and across the ceiling in a cirque-du-soleil moment as if to secure us beneath fire. Some students had separate booths, but other pieces of work trailed seamlessly into the next. 

 A tree made from photographs and newspaper took up the center of the space. Zayn had been so adamant about his muse having life, I wondered if that was the focus of this exhibit - to capture natural life. But I suppose all art did. 

 “It’s the circle of life exhibit,” Renny stated, as if reading my thoughts. 

 “How’d you know that?” 

 She held up a pamphlet she must’ve grabbed from the entrance. 

 I quickly scanned the room, hoping to find Zayn quickly so I could skip out just as quick. 

 Several of my professors were here, including Dr. Rhinecuff. When he saw me, I raised my hand, but he raised his cup of red wine awkwardly and looked away. 

 My hand wavered. 

 Odd. 

 Zayn was standing by the tree, speaking with an older woman. Her skin was a rich brown, short hair hidden beneath a chic scarf. The man beside her looked around the same age with graying facial hair, a pocket hanky, and beaded bracelets. Art professors. 

 I caught his gaze, and he gestured me over. 

 “Y/N, these are my instructors. David and Ebony.”   

 Their eyes lit up in recognition. “He did you a great justice,” David said, gray moustache twitching with the words.

 Ebony beamed. “Oh yes, a piece was already sold. He’s going to be the next big wig before he graduates,” she gushed. “Zayn, I’m sure you’ll be splitting the profits with the heart of the piece.”

 She gestured to me and his smile widened, but my stomach sank faster. 

 “I didn’t know these pieces were going to be sold.”

 Ebony sensed my concern. The wine in her glass swirled. “We thought allowing the pieces to be shown and auctioned was a good way to replicate what many of them should be doing once they graduate. The whole department gets involved, and these kids put in a lot of work, and the reputation of starving artists isn’t something we want to buy into here.”

 I nodded. “I mean, that’s great. That’s… really amazing.” 

 Zayn couldn’t meet my eyes. He knew. He could sense my hesitance, too. 

 “Now he can finally afford a nice dinner to take you out!” David proclaimed. 

 We were all quiet for a minute. “You know, for a thank you dinner,” David covered up. Zayn’s brows scrunched and he shook his head a bit, not knowing where David’s comment came from. 

 “Do you do this regularly?” Ebony asked, steering the conversation away from an awkward moment. 

 My ears pricked up when I realized she was looking at me. “Excuse me?” 

 “Well I was just thinking…” a light laugh lifted as if her idea would be outrageous. “Would you mind sitting in for one of my classes on Monday? Our model had a sudden death-” 

 “My God,” David proclaimed. 

 Ebony waved her hand. “-in his family. I haven’t called to replace him yet.”

 It quieted as they looked at me, waiting for a response. “Oh, I don’t… I don’t usually do this. At all. It was a chance thing.” 

 “Luck be the artist.” David raised his glass. 

 Ebony followed suit, looking at my empty hand. “You just going to let her stand there without a drink?”

 “Yeah, Zayn. What kind of treatment is this?” I teased. 

 He did a slight bow. “Apologies. We’ll walk to drinks, immediately.” He pulled us away, leading us further into the showroom as his head dipped low to my ear. “Renny just passed us to meet Felix and them. They’re through here.” 

 We stepped under an archway that led into a darker-lit room, but his hand stopped me beneath the nook. “Did yeh notice anything?”

 Yeah. I was noticing how close we were in this archway. He saw my eyes start to squint in thought and he turned me around to face the room we’d just left. 

 “Look closer.” 

 My eyes roamed the crowd, trying to find some sort of person, or pattern he could be referring to. With a brief seize of my heart, I expected to see somebody from the gang. 

 “Look at the artwork, Y/N.” His breath warmed my skin. 

 The paintings all seemed to be bright, though sticking to red, orange, blacks, and grays. Wait, forget a pallette pattern. The next painting had blue and purple, too. One sculpture looked like a writhing ghost, twisting and reaching for something above. Or maybe it was an unearthed tree root. Despite all the bold colors, there was something off-putting about how bright they all were. It wasn’t a soothing brightness. It was almost violent. The orange and red writhing tapestries warped the ceiling into something hot. 

 “Is it hell?” I chortled, but quickly quieted. I expected him to take offense, but his hand went lightly around my waist with a small smile.

 “Could be. See-” his arm extended out to scan the perimeter “-all this art is supposed to represent death, but challenge the notion of it through color.” 

 “How so?” 

 “Yeh know it’s usually your blacks, and your grays, s’depressing shit. But we’re born from death. Before life, there was nothing, but something. It’s bold and necessary and there, and no one really knows whatever comes before. Or after.” He looked at the room, taking a sip of wine. I watched as he swallowed, and I imagined the wine running down. “What is death but an uncertain existence.” He said the thought almost happily, looking at me with a slight smirk. “Could be anythin’.” 

 He took a deep breath, letting his hand touch the top of the archway. It was then that I noticed it wasn’t just plain drywall. A collage of photographs ran all along the inside. 

 He wasn’t as tall as Harry, but his hand still reached the top, scuffing across a picture of an African landscape taped over a toddler eating fruity pebbles. 

 “They’re pictures. Everyone donated one,” he said. 

 A strand of words were painted over the collage, running from one end of the archway to the other, and I tilted my head back to read it. “Things... that…. make... m..e …...feel alive.” 

 “Everyone was able to design their space in order to control, to some extent, how their art was perceived. Everyone was a part of the transition space.” 

 “Very nice,” I noted, slightly put-off. I hadn’t been expecting this art show to be so… professional. “Zayn, this is amazing. Like, really, truly, professional-grade stuff is happening. The presentation, the pieces, everything.”

 His smile grew wider, putting cool hands over my eyes. I flinched, but let him. 

 I felt him come closer. 

“Listen now,” he urged. 

 I listened, but I wasn’t sure for what. There was the familiar busy rumble of people mingling, parents visiting their kids, and professors droning on about the talent of their students. But it was chatter. I couldn’t make out one conversation over another. I shrugged up against his other hand that was atop my shoulder. 

 “Sometimes you need to change where you’re planted to understand.” 

 I hoped he could see my cross expression because I couldn’t tell if he was bullshitting me right now. It’d been a day. It’d been a night. And I wasn’t in the mood for more philosophical ramblings - especially about death. “I don’t know what you mean,” I sighed. 

 “Meaning I have to move you closer to the speakers.” He let out a breathy laugh. “Jus’ keep your eyes closed, okay?” 

 I nodded. His hand moved, tilting my head to its side. Eyes still closed, I became self-conscious imagining people trying to move past me, and here I was, planted, eyes closed in the middle of the archway. My cheeks heated. It was unnerving knowing people could see me when I couldn’t see them. And anyway, I must’ve looked ridiculous. 

 “What do you hear?” he urged. 

 “I hear a lot of people talking,” I griped. 

But right when I was about to open my eyes-  

 I heard a familiar chirping through the chatter. 

 “Birds?” I opened my eyes. 

 “Observance can be taught, sometimes.” Zayn leant back, looking mighty proud of himself. 

 “Why are there birds?” 

 “We’re entering life,” he smiled, backing into the space. I tipped my wine back, several long gulps lightening my step as I followed him. Immediately, I noticed much more natural, earthier tones. For being a room of life, it was surprisingly darker than the prior room.

 Renny, Felix, and Andre were huddled in the center where a makeshift wall-on-wheels covered in vines divided the room in half. 

 My eyes widened, trying to adjust to the dimness. “It’s a lot darker in here.” 

 “All intentional. They decided to play with light in here. People usually think of life being bright ‘n that, but it’s also when we experience varying degrees of darkness. There’s a balance to things and the trouble is finding it.” Understanding laced his voice as his dark eyes bore into mine, almost completely black. One look from Zayn and I was reminded of all the weight I’d been carrying. I fidgeted, uncomfortable seeing myself in his eyes. 

 “Y/N, get over here!” Renny called. My shoulders visibly relaxed. My saving grace. “You didn’t tell me you did this,” she said lowly as soon as I got close enough, shocked excitement barely contained. Her giddy smile gave it away though. “Miss sexy secret keeper over here.” 

 “What do you mean?” 

 She playfully poked my sides, but Andre and Felix avoided my gaze. Something wasn’t right. And it stirred my stomach, my body already knowing, somehow. 

 I turned in slow motion, the charcoal drawings in my peripherals stopping me in place. Framed amidst the vines, my face was etched onto paper, scrunching and twisting in various expressions. But my body was attached and twisting, too. And it was bare, bent over, spread out, laying down… My eyes scanned over them a dozen times in a second. 

 I was naked. 

 In all of them. 

 One was titled “21st Century Love.” In this one, I faced the viewer, but looked past them, sorrowful eyes, brows furrowed, breasts I’d never shown on full display. A hickey or two on my neck. A painful sting gripped my chest. I looked sad. I looked so sad.  

 Tunnel vision, a blurred Renny rushed down to the floor, and a distant part of me registered something wet splatter on my feet. 

 The wine had dropped.

 I’d dropped it. 

 I was trapped in a shell. My body was numb. 

 “Babes, you okay?” Renny asked, her voice somewhere far away. Somewhere outside the shell, her voice drowned in the busy rumbling, with the birds, with the watchers. People were watching me now. I was being watched. “Felix, grab some towels!” she barked. 

 I looked horrified, towards Zayn, but changed my mind just as fast. I couldn’t look at him. I couldn’t even breathe. 

 He didn’t know me at all. He could stare at me for a thousand sessions and paint every crevice, sunspot, blemish, and mole and still not see me. How was an artist this blind? How could he not know that this was the last thing I could ever want? How could he picture me so… intimately?

 The paintings seemed to swirl into one before bouncing back out into their separate exposees. 

 Because that’s what it was. 

 An exposure. 

 A stranger could pay to have me in their home. 

 The floor spun, vision spotting. 

 My lungs tightened, tearing me away from Renny, from Felix, from Andre. From Zayn, the artist who painted a confused girl so unashamed. So honestly. Savagely and Unabashedly. 

 “I didn’t want this.” 

 And it was when I was halfway out the door that I realized the voice had come from me, a mantra pushing my shell all the way home. 

part 22

[drops-of-moonlights]

The Winx’s parents, retouched! A few updated info bits below:

Oritel Silvanus Ferreaum-Drazul, Marion Celosia Drazul, and the late Linus Xavier Lissen-Drazul: Linus’s Daphne’s dad and Marion’s original husband, who were an arranged marriage. They got along incredibly well and they were best friends, but it was never a full-blown love. Linus died during an avalanche when Daphne was 11, and 5 years later Marion married Oritel, who she met as a member of the Company of Light. After 4 years of marriage they had Nina (Bloom), and were shortly after imprisoned in Obsidia as statues. Marion is the Queen Regent, Oritel and Linus were/are consorts. Bloom is still awkward around them, and sticks to calling them Mother and Father. Oritel ends up kind of a mess at seeing his daughter being a young adult when they properly meet and Marion has to somewhat reign him in sometimes. Marion is an Altheix Sorceress, her title being the Sorceress of the Dragon’s Roar (Source of Sound), while Oritel acts as the head of the military and wears a modified version of his old Red Fountain armor.

Michael “Mike” Peters and Vanessa María Peters née Florinda: Vanessa’s Mexican-American and works as a florist, managing her shop and making arrangements for events and parties. Mike has worked as a firefighter since he was 20 and has always made sure Bloom knew the dangers of fire, which ended up helping when it turns out she has fire magic. After the whole Princess deal gets discovered Bloom resorts to spending her winters with Mike and Vanessa (who she always considers her “parents parents”), and the springs at the Domino Castle. She and Daphne tend to live in Daphne’s apartment in Magix during summer and autumn.

Anthonius Lixtro-Smith and Audra Smith: Original names were Electronio and Magnethia. They both work as freelance industrial designers and engineers, usually working for the bigger companies and are very well off as a result. Tecna takes most of her looks from her dad but her natural hair color - her original dye attempt was green, but her spell failed and got pink instead, and liked it enough that she kept it. She keeps her undercut brown as if she was the “perfect fusion” of both her parents.

Alyssa Benedetta-Robledos and Rodolfo Ernesto Robledos: Rodolfo’s original name was Rhodos. They work at the Lynphean Magiwolf Sanctuary, with Alyssa acting as the ranger and Rodolfo the veterinarian. Rodolfo is the Fairy of Wolves, and uses his Silvestrix magic to enhance his medical training when tending their patients. They homeschooled both Flora and Miele until they were 11 and 8 respectively, and teached them both ways to defend and heal themselves if they ever got in trouble. Amarok acts as both pet and help, acting as “ambassador” for any wolf that enters the sanctuary to help them acclimate to the place.

Teredor Bahari van Amstel and Niobe Saran van Amstel (née Citrone): Aisha’s parents, they’re very strict and stick to the Androsian traditions, which ends up as an accidental source of strife for their daughter. Niobe is more lenient with her, but does want her to be married to Nabu as fast as possible and has a hard time when both Aisha and Nabu reject the arrangement. Teredor is far more strict, but mellows out after Aisha comes back from the Siege of Alfea, and starts trying to understand her daughter better. Teredor is Ligea’s twin brother, and is a Caster, more specifically the Druid of the Coast, with powers over sand and wind.

Huan Lu (née Xun) and Marina Lu: Ho-Boe and Matlin/Wa-Nin were terrible racist puns I am disposing of them they fucking suck okay? okay. Marina worked as a singer for private and public events and Huan helped her with instruments, as well as running an instrument shop on the side. They met by accident during one of Marina’s events and started dating shortly after. They had two kids, a boy named Jian and five years later, Musa. They never were rich but they had enough to live happily with some frivolities sprinkled in once in a while, and they always got to play music together. Marina died when Musa was 14 of a magic-resistant virus, who ate away her Aura and made her inmune system fully collapse, her own magic unable to sustain her. Her death threw the family in dissaray, and while Jian got a job shortly after to make ends meet, they went through some rocky years. They managed to stay afloat, and started to stabilize shortly before Musa left for Alfea. Huan and Marina loved each other very much, and while he knows she would encourage him to seek out love again, he doesn’t feel ready. Marina was an Enchantress, the Enchantress of Music, and Musa carries her title as a Fairy in her honor.

Radius Solaris Oriol and Luna Azura Argentis: Their marriage was arranged by their parents, and while they were in a similar situation to Marion and Linus, their friendship turned into spite as the years went by. They divorced when Stella’s 14, and remained single for a few years. Luna still acts as the Queen of Solaria, per their arrangements, and even if Radius remarries they will only act as supportive consort. Luna starts dating Allan Damarte around the time Stella starts her original first year at Alfea, and they have been a stable couple since. Count Alessandro Vespero, in contrast, had been secretly courting Radius a few months after the divorce, originally just Radius’s rebound before it developed into love. When Stella’s Princess Ball arrives, they announce their engagement, and will end up marrying in a few years. Alessandro has a daughter from a previous marriage, a somewhat spoiled girl called Carmilla, nicknamed Chimera. Luna is the Cosmix Witch of the Winter Moon with power over ice, while Radius is the Cosmix Fairy of the Summer Sun with power over fire.

[anxious-logic]

Something New and Beautiful

@tsshipmonth2020

Day 11: Choose any Soulmate AU.

This is kind of a prequel for an endgame LAMP storyline that I thought up a few months ago. People get their soulmate tattoos when they are ready to meet a soulmate/spend the rest of their lives with someone (usually somewhere in their mid/late teens or early twenties). It is black, and when someone else in the relationship gets the tattoo as well it fills in with color. When a soulmate dies, the colored portion turns white.

Ship: Sleepxiety (Remy x Virgil)

Warnings: Very minor very background past character death, bigots being bigots, child neglect, panic attack, I think that’s all but lmk if there’s anything else and feel free to message me for more detailed warnings.

Word count: 1,795

Summary: Remy and Virgil join their school’s GSA. At one of the meetings, they discover something about soulmates that their school never taught them.

“We should join the GSA,” Remy said one say, spread out on Virgil’s bed. Virgil bulled his earbud out, staring at the other boy from where he was curled up in the corner of his bed.

“Y’know, I think I just heard you say that we should join the GSA. But that can’t be right, because you know I have anxiety, and you know better than to make me do something I don’t want to do, especially when it involves other people.”

Remy rolled over to face Virgil. “No, I’m serious, hun. It’d give you a chance to meet new people, and I’d get to flirt to my heart’s content. I’m not saying I’m tired of you, I’m not saying you have to date anyone, I’m just saying that it can be nice to have someone to complain to about me.”

Virgil raised an eyebrow, but didn’t immediately argue. Remy seized on the silence.

“C’mon,” he wheedled. “It’d get you out of my house for a bit, and keep you away from yours.”

“Fine,” Virgil said, rolling his eyes and putting in his other earbud.

Remy knew the other boy was actually excited.

***

It was the fourth GSA meeting of the year. Virgil and Remy had made a few acquaintances; they’d begun hanging out with a couple kids named Kai and Elliott.

“Hey everyone!” Joan, one of the GSA leaders, said, to gain everyone’s attention. “Find a seat, and we’ll get started.”

As students sat in the chairs organized in a circle, Talyn, the other leader, spoke up.

“Today we’re going to be talking about soulmates,” they said. “This can be a hard topic for some people. There’s no shame in leaving now, or excusing yourself during the meeting if you decide to stay.”

“Talyn and I are going to stick around for a bit after the meeting,” Joan chimed in. “If you want to talk to one or both of us privately, you can do that then.”

A few people had quietly exited the room while Joan and Talyn were talking. Virgil had noticed one rubbing a mark that had turned white, on the back of xyr hand; another had left clutching the hand of her partner.

“You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to,” Joan continued. “This is just a topic that can be helpful to talk about for some people.”

Virgil was focusing very hard on not grabbing his mark, which had been filled in with dark blue a quarter of the way about two years ago.

“Let’s start with asking if any of you have marks,” Talyn said. “Again, you don’t have to share anything if you don’t want to.”

About ten of the twenty students present raised their hands. Virgil hesitantly joined them, ducking his head.

“Would anyone like to share their story?” Talyn asked, lacing their fingers with Joan’s. There was a pause when nobody responded, but then Kai raised their hand.

“Um… I can start, I guess?”

Talyn nodded at them to go.

“Uh. I guess… well, I got the mark when my dad got married to my stepmom. I was 15, it was just last year. It didn’t feel like it was a particularly climactic day, or anything- but, yeah. Um, I guess that’s it.”

“Thanks for sharing,” Joan said, fidgeting a bit with their beanie. “Would anyone else like to talk?”

A few other people shared how and when they got their soulmarks – all of them were 13 or older when they had gotten theirs.

Why was I only 6… Virgil couldn’t help but wonder. He… really didn’t think that a six-year-old would be ready for a soulmate. But that’s just the way things are, he reminded himself as he felt Remy’s fingers squeeze his.

“Um, can I go next?” Elliott said. They looked nervous.

“Sure!” Talyn smiled back.

“Um… okay. So… I got my mark young. I was 10.”

The room went completely silent.

“My brother was… a dick, sorry for the language. But… well, he hadn’t been very nice to me. My parents told me they were getting divorced, and I’d probably mostly stay with my mom. I was closer to my dad, so that was really hard to hear.”

They took a deep breath. “That was also when I first started to really question my gender. I was scared, and confused, and everything was changing, and I didn’t feel like I had anyone to talk to. And… I got my mark.”

Their hand wandered to their ankle.

“I always wonder when I would’ve gotten it normally, if I hadn’t been so lonely and needed the support.”

Vrigil froze. “What?” he asked, very, very quietly. The whole room heard him anyway.

“Well- it’s not talked about much, but you can get a mark for two main reasons. The first, which most everyone knows, is that you’re ready to spend the rest of your life with someone. The other reason, which is talked about much less, is that you need someone else; maybe to talk to or spend time with or just to love you. Not necessarily in a romantic way, but just because you feel so alone and helpless.”

Virgil didn’t know who said the words, but he heard them regardless. You need someone else… to love you… because you feel so alone and helpless.

Well, fuck. That made sense now.

He ran out of the classroom, ripping his hand out of Remy’s.

***

4. 7- try again.

4- it’s okay.

4. 7.

Knock knock.

“Hey, Virge? You okay?”

Remy.

Virgil blindly felt for the stall latch, unlocking it and letting the other boy in.

“Hey, you okay?” Remy asked, crouching to get on Virgil’s level. Virgil threw his arms around him in response, feeling the other boy stagger back a bit.

“Whoah,” Remy said, bringing his arms up to rub Virgil’s back. “What’s going on?”

Virgil just shook his head, hiding his face in the crook of Remy’s neck. He breathed in the calming smell of coffee-leather-Remy.

“I’m here,” Virgil heard. “It’s okay.”

He took a few more shuddering breaths, counting them out in his head.

4. 7-again.

4. 7. 8.

4. 7. 8.

4. 7. 8.

He backed up to look Remy in the eyes.

“Hey,” Remy said. “Do you want to tell me what that was all about, gurl?”

Virgil took a deep breath, squeezing Remy’s forearms and looking down.

“Promise you won’t be mad?” he asked.

“Hun, I promise.”

Virgil blew out a breath.

“Okay. So you know how when we got the big talk from the school about soulmarks, I told you I got it when I was 12?”

“Of course,” Remy said. “And then you asked if we could not talk about them anymore. And we haven’t.”

“Yeah,” Virgil replied, carefully studying the collar of the other boy’s jacket. “So… that wasn’t true.”

He ducked his head and shrank back. Remy didn’t respond for a few seconds.

“Um. Okay.” There was a pause. “Can you tell me the truth, then?”

Virgil could hear the hurt that Remy was trying to hold back.

“I got it when I was 6,” he mumbled quietly.

He felt Remy freeze, and looked up to see an expression of pure rage burning behind his eyes.

“Explain. Now,” Remy said, deathly quiet. Virgil gulped.

“Um. My parents… kind of neglected me. I mean, I had food all the time, and a place to sleep, and people to wash the clothes and do the dishes and stuff, but my parents were gone on trips and stuff a lot. I really only saw the housekeeper when they were gone, and he only came over a few times a week.”

Remy’s eyes were flashing, but he didn’t say anything.

“Um… technically, it’s still that way, I guess. I still don’t see them very often. But now I have you, so it’s okay.”

“It’s really not, babe,” Remy said, and took a deep breath. “But your mark?”

“I… um. Honestly, I don’t really know exactly when I got it. It might have been that I got a scrape and nobody was there to tell me it was okay; it might have been that I wanted a snack but couldn’t reach; maybe I was just feeling super lonely that day. I don’t know, I just woke up one day, and… there it was.”

Remy growled slightly, but seemed to catch himself. “So… did you just not know what it was for years? Or what?”

“Thomas – the housekeeper – saw it. He told me what it was, and why I got it. Except… obviously not. Because I wasn’t ready for a soulmate at the age of six. I needed someone. Anyone. And I didn’t have them. So I got my mark. I didn’t know there was another reason you could get soulmarks until today.”

Virgil pulled back to meet Remy’s eyes when he didn’t respond. “You okay?”

“Holy fucking shit I am going to kill your parents,” Remy said. The air around him seemed hot with fury.

“Please don’t,” Virgil said. “If you did that I’d have to live with Aunt Bertha, and you know how much we hate her.”

“No. No more jokes,” Remy cut in. “You don’t get to tell me you were so alone at age six that you got a tat, and then joke about your fucking Aunt Bertha.” He grabbed Virgil’s head, pulling him forward until their foreheads touched. “I promise you,” he continued, voice tight with tears. “I promise that you will never, ever, feel that alone. Ever again.”

Virgil blinked, surprised at the sudden forcefulness, but didn’t pull back.

“Well, thanks,” he said. “But how are you going to do that?”

Remy looked him in the eye, his jaw set and a tear trickling down his face. He seemed to make a decision, nodding suddenly.

“I”ll love you no matter what. I’ll support you. I’ll be there for you. Like a soulmate. Until we both meet ours.”

They were still pressed together forehead-to-forehead. Virgil’s breath hitched.

“I- what?”

“Virgil, will you be my boyfriend?”

Virgil jerked back.

“No. Listen. It’d- it’d help us with the bigots in town, ‘cause we’d be ‘practicing for the soulmate’ or whatever stupid bullshit. And maybe our parents would let us be together more often? And, um. Having someone who I know I can lean on… would be really nice.”

Virgil closed his eyes and counted a breath. Remy’s reasoning was good. It all made sense. And… even though Virgil had soulmates – three, judging by the tat – he never really… expected to meet them.

And maybe you wanted this before today too, a voice whispered. He very quickly stepped on that voice and killed it.

“Okay,” Virgil whispered.

Remy leaned forward, and their lips connected.

[sapphireharrie]

you would know if you stayed

the one where harry and y/n meet again 11 months after their divorce.

It was 3 am when y/n comes home with a paper on her hand, she was just back from a meeting with her attorney, sitting in Central Park alone in the dark thinking what the hell happened to her marriage, how could it come to this when she thought they both made a vow of forever four years ago. There was no argument when she gave Harry the divorce paper, it was him that asked for a divorce two days before. They have been having arguments for the past two years, tried marriage counseling for two months but didn’t work. Every time they tried to talk, it will just end in a big argument. They know all of this happened because of the lack of communication between both y/n and Harry. They both know beforehand, even from 2 months of them dating, they know both of them are always so bad at communicating, it was never a secret, but they have tried so hard to be more open with each other, which actually worked for three years into their marriage.

It was after their three years anniversary that both realized, their marriage didn’t work; falling asleep mad at each other, y/n being disappointed when Harry didn’t show up at their dinner nights, y/n being upset because Harry keeps forgetting important dates between the two of them, Harry being bored of y/n that keeps calling him to talk about their on-going renovated condo, Harry being irritated with y/n when she complained about him not being more included in their future home, and so on. When they decided to move to New York, instead of living in California and Harry sold his bachelor Beverly Hill house, it was because of y/n’s job, however it was also Harry’s idea to move. Y/n was willing to leave her job, and move to California with him. They both know Harry was never a New York City kind of guy, even though they both moved to the high-end downtown part of Manhattan, where almost all of the people that occupied the building are everyone from Harry’s league, Harry hates New York. He never talked to y/n about this because he didn’t want to disappoint her, but he’s getting fed up on how crowded and loud NY is, that he has to make up reasons to buy another house in California and keeps on making excuses to be there.

Every time she remembered about the night she delivered the paper to Harry, she wanted to scream. She wanted to yell why didn’t he fight for her? Can anything solve this? She tried so hard to keep this marriage work, she has been trying to save their relationship, but Harry didn’t seem like he was worried at all. A month and a half into their marriage counseling, Harry stopped showing up, y/n on the other hand still try to show up. She stopped after the counselor said that this is about two people; that relationship, especially marriage, consisted of two people, wouldn’t work if only one of them is trying. However, she refused to give up, she finally stopped trying when Harry came home, looking like a mess, saying that he wanted a divorce, that he can’t stand being like this. She doesn’t even understand what ‘this’ means. She wanted to scream, saying this isn’t fair, she should be the one that ending things up since she was the one trying to save their marriage, yet all that she did was nod, no words exchanged. She nodded and she left. She tried, didn’t she? If he didn’t want to fight, then giving up is the right move.

 ***

Five months after their divorce, y/n gets to keep their New York condo. However, the decisions weren’t decided without a fight. Y/n refused to accept the condo because Harry bought it. Her attorney then gave a piece of advice for y/n to pay for the condo, which Harry refused. They then came up with a decision that y/n paid 85% of the condo. Harry wasted no time leaving New York. He hasn’t been to New York since then, it was crowded before. Now that they have officially separated, Harry couldn’t even breathe in New York, everything has traces of her and both of them. Months after their divorce and the papers were all done, y/n was actually thinking about moving back to her parents’ house. As much as she loved New York and her condo, she also hated it here. New York is just too much for someone just trying to make it alone. She hated when everyone in the subway would look at her because they recognized ‘Harry Styles’ ex-wife’ and they started pointing fingers at her. It kind of feels the same way when they started dating, people would always stare, but in times she just started to ignore them. But now, it just felt like everyone knows how miserable she is. That is why she bought a car. Driving in New York is just straight up hell, but she couldn’t just live on taxis, it would be much more expensive, and taxis in New York are just straight up gross.

She stayed at her parents’ house for a while and then started to renovate and change everything from their condos. When she said everything, she meant everything. Nothing’s left from when she lived with Harry. She finished everything and started moving back again. Looking at her condo, she felt this is just the way she wanted it. However, she feels overwhelmed, everything just happened so quickly. That is when she decided to call Gemma, Harry’s sister. It’s hard when you have had adjusted your life to someone else’s and their families became your best friend, it is harder when they are your only best friends. Y/n tells Gemma everything, so when she couldn’t hold it in anymore, Gemma came to her. Gemma was already in New York for a few months, so when she called Gemma literally came running.

 “Y/n?” Gemma came into her condo, the condo has its own lift, that’s why she doesn’t really need keys when she got the access after she rang before. Y/n doesn’t answer her call, she looks at the condo for a while, it was beautiful, but it was also empty. There was no picture at all other than a few paintings. It was really different from when y/n and Harry lived together. Pictures everywhere, of their engagements, weddings, holidays, and she even put up some of Harry’s tour poster.

 “Y/n? I’m here, it’s Gemma,” she called again, but this time she heard footsteps from the kitchen and there was y/n, in her apron, ready to hug her.

 “Hi, I’ve missed you,” she said while running to Gemma who immediately hugged her back,

 “I’ve missed you so much,” Gemma said between her shoulders, “It smells really good, what are you making?” she asked, releasing her from the hugs,

 “Your favorite, orange chicken,” She answered while they both walked into the kitchen. Y/n finished her cooking while listening to Gemma telling her about her newest project. When they finished eating, y/n washed the dishes almost immediately, refusing Gemma’s help. Gemma stood in the kitchen watching her trying so hard not to cry while doing the dishes.

 “Y/n, please, just let me help,” Gemma said slowly while walking to her, shocked when y/n suddenly dropped the plate she was holding to the sink and started holding on to the edge of the sink, trying so hard not to also drop herself to the floor,

 “I’m just so-” she sobbed, while Gemma was trying to help steady her- “tired.” She finished her sentence, and God, Gemma just wanted to cry right there.

 “I’m tired of crying like a fucking freak every time I’m in the shower,” Gemma was trying to help guiding her to the sofa in the living room, silently cursing the condo for being so goddamn big,

 “I’m tired of coming home and having to hold my breath because I keep smelling him in this house even though I tried lighting every damn candle that I have,” she continued while Gemma was still guiding her to sit,

 “I’m so tired of having anxiety attacks every time I found something that belongs to him,” y/n tried to wipe her tears with the sleeve of her sweater,

 “I don’t know what I’m doing with my life, Gemma. I tried so hard to ignore everyone’s pity look for me at the office. I’m tired of doing my job so fucking slow and finding a new one every time just because I don’t want to come home. Gemma, I don’t want to be in this fucking house alone,” Gemma was just nodding along, listening to every word that she said carefully while trying not to cry herself,

 “I’m tired of keep wondering when did it all fell down, when did he stopped loving me, when did he started thinking maybe separating is the answer. Gosh, Gem, I’m so tired of wondering where I went wrong because he never gave me an explanation,” Gemma was shocked when y/n said Harry never gave her an explanation for wanting to separate,

 “He never told you the reason?” Gemma asked which was answered by y/n shaking her head slowly, “Gosh, darling.” Gemma started to hug her again, this time she didn’t even try to hold her tears. Giving herself a mental reminder to smack her brother’s head the next time she sees him.  

 “Gem, I don’t know what to do, God. I’m still so in love with him, but I’m trying so hard to let go.” She then pulled away from Gemma’s hug to get herself some tissues.

 “I don’t know what to say,” Gemma said, “he doesn’t really talk to me about this. I think he knew at some point that you would talk to me, he mostly talks to mum.”

“Can you tell mu-” y/n coughed, trying to correct herself- “Anne, can you tell Anne I’m sorry for not returning her calls? It’s not that I don’t want to, I just couldn’t.”

 “You know you can still call her mum, right? Y/n she loves you, she was just checking up on you. She’s been worried. We’ve all been worried, you just kind of disappear.” Gemma then picked up some tissues, realizing that she’s been crying this whole time.

 “Gem,” she started again, “you know I’d do anything to make him stay, right?” she asked, instead of answering Gemma stayed silent,

 “But, you should’ve seen his face when he asked for a divorce. He looked relieved. At that moment, I decided to give up, because I don’t want him to be unhappy with me. So, I let him go. But, Gem, I would do anything to make him stay.” She sobbed.

 “Is he also hurting, Gem? He must be, right?” she asked, but once again Gemma stays silent, doesn’t want to say the wrong or maybe the right thing,

 “I know it’s mean and cruel, but I kind of hoped he’s tortured too,” she admitted while looking down at her shoes, ashamed.

 “You’re not a bad person for hoping that, he left you hanging. I know for a fact that it’d be one whole lot easier if you know that he’s as messed up as you. You’re not mean nor selfish. Darling, you’re hurting, a lot.” No words were exchanged after Gemma said that, they sat there, hugging and crying together.

  ***

  When Mitch asked him to go to New York with him, Harry almost refused. However, he also thought that maybe it is time for him to finally be able to be in New York without feeling her everywhere he goes. But that is impossible, even here in LA, he still feels her presence every damn time.

 “You know, New York is really big, right?” said Mitch, trying to convince Harry to go, “there’s only like 35% chance of you meeting her. Besides, you don’t know if she still lives in New York, you haven’t talked to her.”

 “I know I haven’t talked to her, but I checked her Twitter every day,” said Harry while sipping his coffee,

 “That’s straight-up creepy, mate.” Mitch then sipped his coffee while looking at Harry,

 “I just want to know how she is, and the last time I checked she still lives in New York and still works for the same company, she posted a picture of her in her office’s café.” Checking her social media is one of the things that Harry do to check up on her, other than calling her mum and maybe Gemma. The first time he checked her Twitter account after they separated there posted a tweet a week after she handed him the divorce papers,

 ‘If only I knew how you felt all along.’

 Harry wanted to call her that day, he wanted to ask what does she mean, what does she think he felt? Because if he was honest, his feelings never change. He thought maybe this ‘stalking’ habit that he picks up after they separated is because he was so used to hearing her talk about her day, which one of his favorite things to do and he usually looks forward to it every day. The fact that he can no longer sit on their favorite sofa together with her legs on his lap, hearing her day at the office or just simply hearing about her favorite lunch, hurts him a lot.

 The one tweet that sticks to him the most was the tweet that she posted around a month after their divorce, he almost wanted to put it into his album, but then again, he needed to let go, didn’t he? He looked at the tweet for a really long time, screenshotted it so that even if she decided to delete the tweet or even her account it would still be there,

 ‘unsure whether who is winning or losing, but then again, you could never win a one-sided battle, can you?’

 Harry knew what this one was about. He realized that he gave up on her while she was trying to hold on to whatever it is left in their marriage. He left without giving her a reason why. Leaving her asking herself what the fuck was going on because he thought he promised her to fight, isn’t that what marriage is about? Fighting for each other. But he gave up. What kind of husband gave up on his perfect wife? She never asked for anything, hell, she waited for him while he was on tour. He gets to come home to his wife and his perfect condo. Not everyone has the luxury of having someone waiting for them faithfully when they leave for months and even years on the road.

 Eight months after their divorce Harry almost called her to tell her he still loves her, that he missed her, and that he wanted to start over. But then again, does he even have the right to do that? He’s the one leaving her, he knew exactly what he’s going to lose, yet he still did that. He has no right to even miss her, he is the one to blame and he hates himself every day for it.

  ***

  Three days of being in New York was pretty good, he didn’t really think about y/n because he always tried to make himself busy and so far, he hasn’t really had the chance to accidentally see her, and he hoped it would stay this way until he’s back to California. It was 9 am when he finally decided to leave his hotel room with his journal and laptop, walking into a small coffee shop near his hotel. He was just about to order when a smell caught his nose. He stopped for a second, there is no way this is y/n‘s perfume, there are millions of people wearing Tocca perfume, but this is y/n’s smell. He decided to look back to make sure that wasn’t y/n. But, god, does the universe hates him. He was faced with y/n, a phone between her shoulder and ear, and she was busy trying to find something in her purse,

 “Y/n?” Harry whispered, but it was definitely caught by her because she stopped looking through her purse and finally looked up, “hi!” said Harry with a little squeal. Y/n literally stopped in her tracks, looking at Harry with shock in her face.

 “I’m-” she stopped- “I’m gonna have to call you back,” she said to her phone and put it in her purse,

“What are you getting? On me.” Harry asked before she can manage to say anything, which she answered with “soy latte,” which she corrected after with,

  “Hot, hot soy latte,” still in shock, she didn’t even realize Harry was done ordering for the both of them and now he is leading her to one of the many empty tables,

 “Hey,” she said when she was finally able to process whatever it is in her head,

 “Hey,” Harry said with a big smile on his face, however, it was not without a pang on his chest. This is her ex-wife, looking as good as ever, new haircut, but definitely suits her, and she is sitting in front of him, after eleven months, eleven whole months without seeing her, talking to her, and hearing her voice.

 “How are you?” Harry asked. He nodded to the waitress when they gave him his order,

 “I’m good,” she answered with a little smile on her face, “how are you?” she asked,

 “I’m good, thank you. You look a bit busy, is it okay if we talk a little bit?” Harry asked while sipping his Americano,

 “It’s New York, everyone is always busy,” she chuckled without answering his question. Harry felt another sting in his chest, thinking about how much he missed that chuckle.

 “You also have been busy, I see. Another album, that was big.” She stated, Harry couldn’t help but let out a chuckle, she still keeps up on news about him, he sees.

 “Yeah, it was pretty big.” He answered, and nodding for the second time to the waitress when they came back to their table to give y/n’s order.

 “How’s work?” he asked while lifting his cup and sips his Americano,

 “Good.” She answered while tracing her take away cup of soy latte, trying so hard not to look at him. He was startled because he was expecting a longer answer, maybe her asking him back about work.

 They sat in silence for a moment, while Harry was thinking of what more can he ask so he can sit for a little while with her because, gosh, does he miss her. But her on the other hand, she was trying so hard to think of a reason to get out of his sight and this awkwardness.

 “How is the final of the condo? How’s New York been treating you?” Harry asked genuinely since he never really see how it finishes up.

 “Harry,” she sighed, “I really need to get going,” she said, then left him and her untouched latte before he can even stop her. He saw her walking out of his sight for how many times now, he couldn’t even count it. He sipped his Americano, and lean to the chair, closing his eyes.  He opened his phone and call one of the most called contacts on there,

 “Mum?” he sighed,

 “I miss her.”

 ***

 She walked really fast to her car and sit for a while. She wanted to stay. She would’ve stayed. But God, if she’s honest, she really would love to stay, catching up with him about life; asking him about his sister’s wedding, which she said she couldn’t attend because she can’t go to London that day due to work; asking him about his mum, is she well? Does she still go to the same yoga place? Is she mad at her for not answering her call and text? But good lord, she’s trying to let go.

 Twenty minutes after she left, Harry got a notification on his phone. He didn’t even realize that he has been sitting there alone for 20 minutes after calling his mum. It was a Twitter notification that said y/n has posted a tweet. Harry still has her notification on, and she rarely ever tweets. He opened the app and went to her profile, it stated that she tweeted a minute ago and says,

 ‘You would know if you stayed.’

 Another notification came,

 ‘You would know if you put up a fight.’

 He deserved that, he knew he deserved that. And in that moment, after eleven months, he realized, what has he done?