#when I say I went to school with him
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Sometimes I think about this guy I went to school with and I literally wonder how heâs doing but he has absolutely no social media presence and I think thatâs why we vibed
#when I say I went to school with him#I mean kindergarten to 11#he reached out to me once on Facebook during college#but my social skills were still not the sharpest at 16 and I didnât take it as an opportunity to keep in touch#I donât remember what I said#but I remember myself back then#and I knooow I wouldnât have inquired#I was in my bubble to a fault I recognize that now#but his account is long gone as is he#we used to talk about video games and pokemeon#and helped me get past a level I was stuck on in a game#so if youâre out there I hope youâre doing okđŁ#and I still think that Ben 10 watch you made was hella cool
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Absolutely love the possessive ex Scaramouche ramble in tags, please feed us more of that.
Gladly!! :D
(cw: yandere, extremely toxic ex scara, modern au, unhealthy behaviors/relationship, stalking, coercion, obsession, forced marriage, violent/suicidal threats, manipulation, mentions of intoxication/alcohol, implied self-harm)
The two of you were what everyone calls âhigh school sweethearts.â You met him in the cafeteria when the both of you were first years. Despite the scowl etched on his face, he looked lonely sitting all by himself while everyone was finding tables, old and new friends gathering in groups. Heâd ignored you, even scooting further away when youâd attempt to move closer. Even though he seemed so averse to you, you remained, silently eating your lunch. Neither of you said anything, but you did introduce yourself. He scoffed under his breath.
You started to sit next to him for every lunch, and he continued to give you the silent treatment. You never pressed him for conversation, instead choosing to enjoy silence while you ate and admired him from the sidelines. He never looked at you, always facing forwards and toying with his chopsticks, bending them so far until they were ready to snap. Eventually, he seemed to grow accustomed to this routine because many weeks into the semester he turned to address you.
âWhy do you always sit by me? Donât you have anyone else to bother?â
âMaybe. But I donât think anyoneâs as mysterious as you are.â
ââMysteriousâŚâ Yeah, whatever.â
That seemed to be the catalyst because, as sardonic as he was, heâd begun talking to you. And it wasnât long until he started to warm up to you every lunch until the both of you were exchanging lighthearted banter. Your friendship would only grow from this point onwards until, at the end of your first year during a study session to prepare for finals, where you were both pulling an all-nighter at your house, heâd asked you out. And you said yes, and the both of you had gone from best friends to lovers within the span of a year. The both of you were each otherâs first partner, so it made doing things as a couple even more exciting because neither of you had any experience with dates or holding hands or kissing.
Kuni wasnât a bad boyfriend. In fact, he was very loyal and sweet. Heâd stand up for you if anyone was being rude to you or scrutinizing your relationship with hateful eyes. The two of you were nearly inseparable. When you werenât spending time together in school, you were out doing things together. And when you couldnât meet up in person, youâd text or call, sometimes talking late into the evening about all sorts of things. You were so immersed in him that you failed to notice the red flags slowly raising over time. But looking back there were a few notable ones.
He never invited you to his house. In fact, youâd never even met his parents, whereas heâd been to your home so often that your family practically became his own. He hadnât mentioned anything about his family, and if you tried to suggest going to his house for dinner so that he could introduce you to them he was quick to change the subject. For a while youâd push this, more curious than concerned, but eventually youâd drop it when it became clear that he wasnât going to divulge anything on the matter. That had stung, but you snuffed those feelings in favor of focusing on other aspects of your relationship.
The second red flag was just how clingy he became when the both of you were in your third year, having been together for two solid years. You never noticed it before because you loved him, but when friends had pointed out how attached he seemedâand it was to rather unhealthy levels, according to their observationsâto the point where you were the only person heâd ever formed a bond with while at school you started to see the cracks in what felt like the perfect relationship. Heâd text you every single day, at every single hour, all the time. Heâd call you nonstop, even more so when you didnât immediately pick up.
The third red flag coincided with the second. When you couldnât make it to your phone, he was quick to blame himself and those around him for being responsible for your deteriorating relationship. Did I do something wrong? Are you mad at me? Did those guys bother you again? They probably told you some stupid shit about me, right? Donât listen to them. Hey, youâre not mad, right? Call me back. I need to talk to you. Just text me when you can, okay? (Name), please donât leave me. Iâll fix whateverâs wrong. Just promise youâll stay. Messages of these kinds were what you could expect to receive from him. Heâd fluctuate between self-loathing to loathing those around him within seconds, shoving blame onto classmates whoâd bully him for being that âweird emo kid with too many piercingsâ and anyone else who tried to, in his words, âcome between you and me.â
By the end of your third year, you started to fall out of love. He was so very dedicated to this relationship, evidenced by how much effort and care heâd put into it, but his clingy behavior was stifling. Youâd lost some of your own friends because he chased them away, and it felt like you couldnât do anything without him breathing down your neck. If you wanted to go anywhere with a friend or two, Kuni had to be there to accompany you. If you looked at another for too long, heâd think you were cheating. If you didnât text or call him at certain times, if you failed to pick up, orâArchons forbidâyou left him on seen, heâd spiral.
Kuni had this habit of sounding dangerously self-destructive when he feared you were being unfaithful or he thought you were going to break up with him, which meant youâd have to sit on the phone for hours convincing him that you loved him, that youâd never leave him, that youâd always be here for him, that you were sorry for not responding, that he needs to calm down and please, please, please donât do anything rash. Those phone calls were always so stressful. You cried a lot; youâd beg him to put the knife away when heâd threaten to use it on himself, on you, on anyone who might try to take you from him. And, after a few hours of this, heâd be back to his usual self, as if a switch had been flipped. You could hear his adoring smile in his voice when he spoke, when heâd lovingly whisper into the phone, âIâm happy youâre mine. I love you so much.â And youâd shakily parrot the affirmation, too frazzled to say or do anything else.
One of your best friends Rosalyne, who youâd befriended in the midst of all of this, had been so supportive the minute you spilled the truth to her. Kuni hated her the most because she wasnât afraid of him. Because sheâd shut him down when he tried to pull you away from her. Because she wouldnât approve of any of his toxicity. Rosalyne would take you on shopping sprees, brunch dates, and jogs at the local park. She was plenty of good to outshine Kuniâs bad, and the more time you spent with her the clearer your head would become. The both of you had plenty of sleepovers together, and she let you rant your heart out while she listened. Sheâd tell you to break up with him, but youâd agonized over how terrifying that would be. You couldnât bear to tell Kuni the truthâthat you wanted to separate because things had turned so rottenâbecause you were so scared. Scared of him and what he might do.
Scared that if he really did take a blade to himself it would be your fault. He told you that a lot. That it would be your fault if he did anything. That his blood would be on your hands. You believed him every time.
By your final year, youâd already had a plan for university outlined and youâd started applying to a few in advance. You never told Kuni about any of them because you worried he might apply to each one in hopes of going to the same school as you. And when there was the dance for the graduating class and Kuni had asked you to it, youâd told him you were going with Rosalyne and a few other friends as a group. He didnât like this, as expected, but youâd been so sick of him and his behaviors that you snapped and spilled everything to him. Youâll never forget the look on his face when you told him that you were done with the relationship and that you never wanted to see him again.
He looked as if he could lunge at you and tear you to bloody ribbons at any moment.
You graduated single and so very refreshed, and your summer had been filled with friends. Kuni didnât message you at all, which was surprising considering you were certain heâd spam you relentlessly after the break-up. But he never did. In fact, you never saw him again. Graduation had come and gone, and now that you could recover from such a terrible relationship he was becoming less of a burden for you. For a while you were anxious. You kept expecting to receive a phone call or to see some news about Kuni, but neither ever came. Rosalyne told you to stop thinking about him. It would only make you even more paranoid and that wouldnât do your mental health any good. You were so grateful to have her in your life, but most importantly you were glad Kuni failed to scare her away.
Now youâre a second year in college and things have only gotten so much better for you. You and Rosalyne still keep in touch despite going to different schools. Sheâd gone to a university in Snezhnaya, while you enrolled in one in Sumeru, and youâve blotted Kuni from your mind. Youâve made a fresh group of friends while attending classes: criminal justice major Shikanoin Heizou, creative writing major Kaedehara Kazuha, musical therapy major Venti, botany major Tighnari, and so many more wonderful people who have all welcomed you into their circles.
So when Venti drags a familiar face to your usual weekend outing, which is really just a retreat to the forest for drinking and smoking, creeping cold settles into your bones. He looks awkward with Ventiâs arm slung around him as the more bubbly of the two drags him towards the bonfire, where you sit with the others roasting marshmallows for sâmores, and itâs a look that is so uncharacteristic on him. Whatâs even weirder is how friendly everyone greets himâas if they all know himâand youâre completely lost when they turn to you and ask if youâve met Kunikuzushi.
âNo,â you lie through your teeth, forcing a pleasant smile and extending your hand for a stiff handshake, which Venti snickers at. âNo, Iâve never met him before.â
Apparently, heâs in one of Ventiâs classesâitâs a course heâs taking solely because he needs the credits. Tighnari knows him because they usually work the same shifts at the campus cafĂŠ. Kazuha knows him from his linguistics and philosophy classes. Heizouâs ate with him in the dining hall plenty of times now and theyâre also taking the same psychology class. It feels so genuine and yet so fake at the same time. Too perfectly manufactured to be a mere coincidence. But you do your best to push past these suspicions, and when he sits across from you, smiling at you and saying how nice it is to meet you, the warping flames paint his face in devilish shadows. Thatâs what you think he is when he acts like a completely different person from how he was when you dated: a devil whoâs good at being kind and outgoing, noisy and abrupt, and always so foul-mouthed, but in a way that makes him charming. Your friends are so enthralled. They love him and his sense of humor. They love his quick wit. They love how fun he is. And suddenly weekends spent in the forest arenât so enjoyable.
You do your best to overcome your doubts. For a few months youâre on edge. How he even found you is a mystery. Surely he wouldnât stalk you and enroll in the same college just to get revenge orâŚwhatever vengeance he wants from you. But when he treats you to coffee, when he brings you and the others pastries every other morning, when he invites the lot of you to study at the library, when he tells the funniest stories while crossed and everyoneâs giggling like schoolgirls it really feels like heâsâŚhealthier. Like heâs turned a fresh page in his life and is starting anew. Like heâs changed for the better.
Perhaps he just doesnât remember you. Youâve changed your style over the years, so itâs possible heâs simply forgotten your image and canât place memories to your name. Eventually, after soothing yourself with these theories, you begin to accept his presence in the group. He fits in so flawlessly, as if heâs a missing piece to the puzzle, and you canât believe youâre admitting this, but you like this version of Kuni. Heâs confident, not cocky. Heâs kind, not rude. He gives everyone space. In fact, he rarely texts frequently in the group chat. And heâs funny! Heâs so funny. You donât think the Kuni from your past was ever as funny as the Kuni who regales everyone with lighthearted stories of how he once took in a stray cat that turned out to belong to his neighbor or how his old job had the strangest customers.
Maybe he truly did change. Maybe all of these coincidences really are coincidences. Maybe itâs for the best that you leave the past in the past.
Finals season looms, and the group hasnât had time to meet up outside of class. Venti has tried to persuade everyone to come study at his apartment. His roommate wonât care (yes, he will. Xiao hates it when everyone gets blackout drunk and he has to wake everyone come morning), but if youâve known Venti long enough youâll know there is no studying that happens at these study sessions. This is probably the reason why heâs had to repeat a year.
With everyoneâs schedules packed with academics, itâs difficult to find a time where everyone can get together to study. You think you might just be better off studying on your own, but Kuniâs message of you wanna pull an all-nighter for these lame af finals together?? accompanied with a photo of snacks and coffee, any thoughts of studying alone instantly vanish.
This is how you find yourself in his dorm, sprawled on his bed while he sits on the floor, whacking your dangling feet when they get too close to him. His roommate Albedo is currently out tutoring a few students at the library and wonât be back until much later, so itâs just you, Kuni, and a pile of textbooks and notes. Youâve hung out with Kuni a few times and he was great company during each. Youâve also fallen asleep in his dorm before, when youâd come over to binge a show the both of you enjoy, and youâd lost track of time and had slipped into a dream halfway through the marathon. Youâd woken the next morning with Kuni looming over you, grinning deviously and holding an uncapped marker. Heâd leaned down and whispered, âYou drool in your sleep,â and youâd swatted at him and groused about how you were sleeping so peacefully when he just had to ruin your sleep (and your face) with his antics. And then there was that time when you were so drunk at that one party and you could hardly stand, heâd been there to help. He even stayed with you for the rest of that night, offering his assistance when you became nauseous or needed water or a snack until you passed out.
Despite your initial apprehensions, you consider him a friend. Heâs no one nearly as close as Rosalyne or your other friends. Heâs just a mutual friend, someone youâll spend time with when you feel like it, but you donât truly need him in your life. That, and part of you still struggles to trust him after all of the stress and unhealthy obsession he subjected you to.
âKuni,â you whine, lifting your head from the textbook. âCan you get me some water? Iâm thirsty.â
âDo I look like your maid?â he snaps, immersed in organizing his notes. âGet it yourself.â
âIâm picturing it now and youâre in a frilly dress andââ
âForget I asked.â Setting his notebook down with an exaggerated sigh, he crosses the distance to the mini fridge and withdraws a bottle of water.
Grinning, you slide off of his bed and reach for it with a grateful hum. He smirks and takes a step back, holding it away from you.
âSeriouslyâŚâ
Rolling your eyes, you lunge for it and he side-steps you with the practiced grace of a cat. You brace yourself against the wall and swipe at him. Again, he dodges, unscrewing the cap and shaking the bottle teasingly.
âI think Iâll take a sip for myself. All of this studying has left me so parched.â
âNo fair! Thatâs mine!â
âIs it?â He pulls it away from his lips to observe the bottle and feigns surprise. âThatâs weird. I donât see your name on it.â
âLook closer!â you exclaim, but just as heâs about to humor you you pounce, tackling him to the groundâthereâs a beanbag cushion that breaks your fallâand the water spills all over the both of you in the midst of the tumble. A slew of colorful words stick in Kuniâs throat and your laughter rings out melodiously. You seize his wrist and hold it down while reaching for the bottle in his other hand, where thereâs still some water left. He struggles halfheartedly, relinquishing the bottle with a disinterested scoff, and you pull away from him to down whatâs left.
While crushing the plastic bottle into a ball, you notice something on your palmâthe palm that had grabbed Kuniâs wristâand it takes a minute before the skin tone-colored substance registers in your mind.
Concealer.
You peer at him and notice that heâs cradling his arm, and confusion sprouts.
âSo funny,â he spits with a hollow laugh. âYou owe me a new beanbag if this oneâs ruined.â
âHey, hold on. Whatâs with theââ
âForget it. You got your water, so letâs get back to studying. Or do you no longer want to be a perfect student?â
Without thinking, you grab his arm as heâs standing and when you look at his forearm you can see where the waterâs started to wash the concealer away. Curiously, you scrub at it while he tries to yank his arm away, but when you unearth a dozen scars littering his wrist and climbing the length of his arm that creeping cold from before returns.
And suddenly youâre brought back to those phone callsâthe ones where heâd threaten suicide and murderâand you stumble back as if youâve been burned, half-expecting to hear those threats once more. Kuniâs staring at his wrist, his features twisted in grim disapproval, and for a moment you think he looksâŚhurt. Or maybe thatâs sadness you see. Whatever emotion it was, it doesnât linger because a quiet chuckle slips past his lips, and the sound is so very frigid it has your blood crystallizing.
âIt really hurt when you said you never wanted to see me again.â Kuni peers down at you, and his eyes that had once been so bright and filled with light are dull and dark. âBut nothing hurts more than loving you.â
You open your mouth to say somethingâanythingâbut the words wonât come. Youâre rooted to the ground, horror slinking through your body and rendering you immovable. Your heart is in your throat, pounding so loudly itâs practically a drum, and a cold sweat washes over you.
âEach time I found myself hating you, I thought it was odd because I love you so much. I canât possibly hate the one Iâve loved all this time.â He scowls. âBut loving you hurts. Loving you feels like chewing glass and drinking poison. Loving you isnât fair because while you moved forward with your âfriends,â I was forced to stay behind and pick up the pieces of what was left of you. So for every moment I couldnât stand you, I tallied it on myself so that Iâll never forget the times I loved you so much I hated you.â
This canât be happening, youâre thinking, curling your hands into trembling fists. He changed. He changed, right? This isnât the same Kuni from before. This isnâtâŚ
âAnd when I saw how well you seemed to be doing without me, I hated you even more.â Without warning, heâs grabbed your arm and hoisted you up. You open your mouth to scream, but no sound comesânot that anything could when heâs pulled a switchblade from his pocket and poised the pointed tip at your jugular. âYou have poor taste in friends. Those guys suck.â
Tutting, he shakes his head at you like a parent might when scolding a child, and says, âDo you know how fucking tiring it was pretending? You think I care about pastries and stupid campfire stories? You really think Iâd ever want to associate myself with that sorry lot?â
âK-Kuni, please let go of me. I⌠Iâm sorry. I didnât know you wereâIâm sorry. So please justâŚâ
âAnd then the first time you see me after all these years apart and you had the gall to lie to my face! âIâve never met him before.â Bullshit. You just didnât want any of your loser friends to know our history, right? Because youâre ashamed to have known me, right?â
âThatâs not it! I⌠I was justâI didnât⌠I was⌠I justâŚâ
âI⌠I⌠IâŚâ he mocks, shoving you down onto the beanbag. It dips under the sudden weight, and you sink further into it when he points the blade at you. âStop tripping over your tongue. I should be the one near tears! You cast me aside and then forgot all about me. You abandoned me when I needed you most.â His voice cracks at that last sentence, and your heart skips erratically.
âThatâs not what happened! We needed space. I needed space. You were being tooââ You stop yourself, unsure of how to phrase it. Too controlling? Too dangerous? Too scary?
âLucky for you, Iâm willing to overlook these past...slights.â The blade twirls effortlessly in his grasp, and you heave a relieved breath when heâs no longer pointing it in your direction. âMarry me and weâll forget all about the past. Weâll start over.â
His demand almost stops your heart altogether. You stare up at him, mouth agape, and mumble a disbelieving, âWhat?â
âYou heard me.â He seems to soften with his next words, and for a moment he looks and sounds like the Kuni who hangs out with you and your friends. The harmlessly fun Kuni who always takes such good care of you. âYouâre the only one Iâll ever love, so letâs get married.â
âK-Kuni, I canât... I really canât...â
Within seconds the blade has found itself on his wrist, pressing into delicate flesh. Not enough to cut, but if he applies more force youâll definitely see blood. You choke on a horrified gasp.
âWhat was that?â He raises his brow at you, challenging you with a calm smile.
Your mind reels in an effort to conjure a plan. What can you even do? If you take the blade from him, will he turn his anger on you? Will you have to wrestle him into submission? And if you do manage to get out of his dorm, will anyone believe you? Heâs painted himself in such a pleasant light. Your friends love and trust him! So what can you say? And if there isnât any solid proof, no one will even entertain bringing the authorities into this mess.
âIâm waiting, (Name). Are you really going to make me add another tally? Do you really want me to hate you again? Oh, but maybe I should start marking you! We can add a slice for each time you failed to love me. That way weâll both look like used cutting boards.â
You need help, you want to say, but the words escape you.
Instead, you nod hastily and say breathlessly, âOkay, yes! Iâll marry you!â Swallowing your horror, you glance at the blade as itâs lifted from his skin. Thankfully, there isnât a cut. âI... Iâll marry you, Kuni. So... So please donât hurt yourself. Please.â
It feels like youâve been strangled for an eternity, so when he finally pockets the blade the air in your lungs returns and you collapse against the beanbag, chest rising and falling in short, panicked breaths.Â
âGood.â He bends down to your height, grips your chin with cold fingers, and forces you to meet his adoring stare. âWeâll look at rings tomorrow. Or maybe youâd prefer bracelets instead? I can be flexible but only for you, so youâd better be grateful.â
You swallow rising bile and nod. âT-Thank you.â Youâre not sure why youâre thanking him when he hardly deserves it, but it feels like the right thing to say to ease the tension.
Kuniâs eyes sparkle, no longer a void of endless darkness, and when he leans in to capture your lips in his your heart sinks. You really canât run from your past, can you?
#genshin chit chat#yandere-romanticaa#yandere scaramouche#scara says he needs you but what he really needs is a therapist first and foremost#adding heizou into the mix!!! he probably takes notice of your change in behavior#and confronts you one on one to ask if everything's okay#and he looks so concerned and his voice is so soft and so you break and spill everything#and he nods while he takes in all of this information before offering to help#he knows the law (he's studying it after all!) so he can help you#but what heizou doesn't tell you is that the law might crush one evil person but it can easily protect other evils :)#especially him who is oh-so-honorable and sweet#you'd never know he wants to be more than just friends#and that he has a journal detailing your every move#but also i like the idea of heizou being a genuine friend and the two of you grow closer while trying to find ways to get scara caught#and taken away from you for good#but yan!heizou just hits so deliciously orz#also also!! adding in rosalyne~~ she went to the same uni as kuni (in snezhnaya)#but when he finally found out where you were he transferred#and rosa only realized they went to the same school when she found out from ajax (who also attends the same uni)#kuni probably worked part-time as a hospital receptionist before he transferred schools#and he's pretty sure the doctor there is a serial killer or he's just on the border of criminally insane (this is dottore after all)#(me looking at every way i can insert each harbinger into this au >:D)
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anyone interested in talking about the iconic 2000's middle-grade-bordering-on-ya book series gallagher girls??
#okay incoming rant about this series#i read the first book when i was 10 or 11 and i was absolutely obssessed with it. i read it so many times i had the entire story memorized#the issue was that i could not find the rest of the series anywhere. it was either sold out or out of stock#and then i found out that only the first 3 books had been translated into my first language so at that point i kinda gave up on them#anyway#flashforward to a couple of weeks ago#i was re organizing my bookshelf and on the back i found LYKY (is this how y'all are abreviating it??)#and remembred how much i loved it#and since i'm now fluent in english and was stuck at home recovering from a surgery i decided to download the entire series and read it#to find out what the fuck happened afterwards#long story short i read all six books in 4 or 5 days#and i haven't stopped thinking about them since#it's actually so funny how little information we have in the first book#i went all of these years thinking it was mostly a silly series about a boarding school for spies when actually SO MUCH happens afterwards#i can't believe i went all of these years unaware of zach goode's existence#truly character of all time#but also i can't stop thinking about how interesting it would have been if zach had come to hate the circle and his mom during the series#rather than before#make it a true enemies to lovers#and have us witness that portion of his character developement in real time instead of being told about it#like him slowly realizing through cammie and his time at gallagher that maybe what they were doing is wrong#i think it would have been very interesting to read#although let's be real it took me until halfway through book four to trust him and he was fully one of the good guys so..#but yeah i have a lot more to say but these tags are long enough#gallagher girls#okay i just want to add another funny anecdote about my experience with this series#my copy of LYKY has an age warning in the back recomending that readers should be above 13 yo to read it#and i distinctly remember finishing it and thinking the warning was kind of dumb bcs besides a few mentions of death and other heavier topi#nothing really happened#and now i realize it was a warning for the rest of the series not just the first book because jesus fucking chirst everything after
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I think I'm less disappointed with the finale than others because I was there for the me3 finale debacle lol
The bad part is that me3 finale made sense. It was just um, straight up one of the worst ideas they could ever think of, but it made- sigh.
Here you have like, the perfect build up, the stakes are me2 level of "if I fucked up during the pt my friends are gonna pay the price", and closure with your companions. However it's contradictory asf, it forces you to break immersion and, in the wrongest moment for a rational thought makes you say "wait, why are we back to step 1? what about the bli- aw the lost elf theme ;; hold on, why aren't you bringing up the things that has been repeated nonstop via super long expositions throughout the game?? MR. MORRIS COME BACK, CONFUSE ME AGAIN"
It's gorgeous, but it doesn't make sense, and then it does, and then it doesn't again. I am confusion
Back in my days (lmaooo) we got an apology and a 2gb free dlc called "extended cut" that was like this meme
but it did patch only a few things. The finale stayed there. Immutable
and we only had to presume what went wrong during development, but then we all saw the artbook and agreed that maybe there were interferences from above and that the real treasure was the friends we made along the way and that would die horribly if you had 50% or less of reactivity that you could raise only by playing the multiplayer and those who were playing the game on a console had to spend money to gain access to it
Yeah, I don't think they're good at finales. "But at least"
#dav spoilers#veilguard spoilers#phylactery#bioware critical#dav critical#and fucking hell#me3 critical#<- this is a defunct tag guys you have no idea the trauma it brings back#I'm trying to remind myself that 'there is worse'#I just finished talking about this and I needed to order my thoughts lol#story repeating itself yada yada#I remember my ex playing me3 for two days straight from the day it came out. no sleep#food in front of a screen and days off school to finish the darn game because it was An Event. THE climax#and one morning I woke up and saw him in the kitchen looking at the wall with the void between his lids#'you have no idea' he said in the softest most heartbroken voice#then went straight to sleep lol#I always say that dav reminds me of me2 and like#that game has one of the best ending I've seen in action media lol#1 and 2 had great finales actually#but when it comes to final final definitive endings um#leaving earth starts playing and I'm crying on the kitchen floor#cause betrayed by beloved media
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Why is Erik taking a shower and is fully prepared to fight naked in that panel đ
my man turning into a baby is a typical tuesday activity but the second he wanna little naked shower fight NOW its suspicious đ¤¨
#snap chats#cant a man be a lil hostile and naked in his home ... 'his' home ... w/e ...#this is the part where i reward tag readers CONTEXT TIME#i mean. it's not crazy context but anyway#erik went for a swim and As You Do went to shower off once he was done. cant have chlorine in the hair.... gon damage his beautiful locks..#he was shavin in the shower when he hears someone come in so Naturally he assumes the worst as this is Xavier's School For Gifted Youngster#never a moment of peace not even to shower and shave ..#'whyd he go for a swim' I Dont Know he really just decides on that. maybe it was a complex way to give him a weapon#maybe they just wanted to draw him naked and in a speedo I Dont Know 2x sounds like something id do frankly#the context is pretty much isolated from the story- like it's more of a scene starter and reintroduces tom and sharon into the plot#CONTEXT: tom and sharon are Effectively erik's coworkers at the school who caught one of emma's students- empath- acting a fool on site#empath- as it may be assumed- has the ability to mess with people's emotions and so. how we say.#'had tom and sharon distract each other' for a few hours while he fucked around the mansion and more specifically#fucked with erik's emotions to make him depressed enough to give up the new mutants to emma#Hence the mansion was virtually empty bar danielle and warlock which probably didnt help make erik Less paranoid of sudden noises#hence .... razorblade combat time ... but yeah once he realizes its just tom and sharon he's like Oh Fuck The Hell Happened#and then he gets super pissed once he realizes empath kinda tricked him into giving up his kids đĽ°#god i love this issue i really do .. cant wait til next month where i can read what happens next ..#'snap you have the internet' OK AND I LIKE MY PHYSICAL MEDIA. plus i like this arc so far i want a physical of it ...#but yeah thats why eriks naked and prepared to cut someone with a razor. you can learn more in The New Mutants number 39 :]
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first time i watched 'no exit' i was 100% in jo's corner like oh great it's sexist dean time . wheeee let's all watch her learn a lesson about hunting and he can be 'right' in a factual way but he'll be as obnoxious as possible about it the whole time . now i think what's happening here is that he has pretty much instantly samzoned her, as a college dropout from a hunting family who has a contentious relationship with her one surviving parent. EXCEPT that she's a five-foot-something twiggy barely-out-of-her-teens woman who has a crush on him and has never been on a serious hunt before, and he's dismissive/over-vigilant enough with the actual sam, a powerfully-built man with clairvoyant powers and over a decade of experience. bearing that in mind, his behavior towards jo is barely outside his normal realm of bossy and overbearing, and since he knows a little something about how sams will respond to direct orders, he still tells her mother she's not on the hunt with them so as to avoid the fallout until it's over. basically i think the whole dean thing, his most consistent characterization over the course of fifteen years, is his tendency to express even genuine protectiveness through the medium of 'bossy older sibling', and this makes him come off like the worst person on the planet. he frequently IS, but it's actually because of other things and has nothing to do with that habit in specific
#'you sound like my mother' 'oh that's a bad thing?' < dean thesis statement of the episode. yeah he sounds like that bc he is a mother jo#like. maybe because i was eighteen when i first watched it i was like he is being SO dismissive to her! she's grown! she's an adult!#but i'm nearly thirty now and alona tal is SO young in this episode . you could snap her like a twig#and she's like. i mean i have a twenty-one-year-old sister and the things i would and would not approve of her doing#based on my perception of her ability to not get hurt in the process. whoof#it's weird . not saying dean winchester can ever be valid but maybe for this one he's just correct in a rude way after all#and then he gets right into the other dean thesis: she has OPTIONS. why is she doing this when she could be doing literally#anything else. he never gets to the point where he considers he could just go do something else. that will never occur to him#but when it comes to sam-type people he assumes they should want the other options. and he is TERRIFIED of this with sam specifically#jo isnt his actual sister so she can and should explore the other options. but if sam does he thinks he'll never see him again#his evidence for this is that when sam went to college they didnt talk for four years. but he also never thinks#'we're better about communication now and if he went back to school we would definitely still talk'#because he assumes all things that have happened in the past will happen that way again. and he's in supernatural. so it's a fair assumptio#spn#q
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#one piece#sanji#black leg sanji#everysanji#thriller bark#ch489#obligatory hitting him with hammers#but also i was thinking about how i originally got into one piece for some reason#which was in 2015 mind you almost 10 years ago#so when i was a freshman in high school we took a field trip before christmas#it involved going ice skating and then the mall and i think we went somewhere else that isnt entirely important#but anyway i was talking with someone while we were at the mall and looking at manga and i said i was interested in trying manga#so my. well idk friend might be too strong. classmate lets say suggested one piece#and so i got the first two volumes (which i still own they're on my bookshelf i take whenever i move)#and he told me that they went through each of the four blue seas before going on the grand line for some reason????#i think what he meant was that every volume has what arc it is on the top but he somehow#confused that with they go through north/south/west blue too#well anyway i havent talked to that guy since like 2017. wonder where he's at#if he's following this blog and recognizes this story i'm deleting social media forever
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here's your friendly reminder that miles liked and commented on this lovely video â¤ď¸
(x)
#i tried only linking it but tumblr decided to be weird about links again so instead i just posted the video#i love him a lot more (if that was even possible) after this â¤ď¸â¤ď¸â¤ď¸#let's all focus on nicer things guys#miles kane#also did i imagine it or read it in a fanfiction or did he actually say in a podcast that people used to make fun of him and called him...#certain names in school because he had long hair and was âpainfully shyâ and went red in the face when the teacher asked him something#(his words not mine. i just don't know if i imagined the first bit or not)
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I think any time someone calls electro a "poor baby" i deserve to start killing. Also an angel loses their wings. RAGHHHHH
#i was gonna just say ���ourgh. i kinda feel like being a bit of a haterâ#but I NEEDED TO SAY IT#that is a grown ass man. what are u talking about#you can feel bad for him without babying him.#like. cmon. also thats only like. the tip of the iceberg when it comes to babying him#ITS SO ARGHHHHHHHB#he had a job. (used to at least)#hes in his 20's !!!!!!! he went to trade school. he has his own apartment. HE FUCKS!!!!!#voltrix rambles
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if the timing had been off by even just a little bit-- if he had turned that corner just a few seconds sooner or later-- he probably would have lived. but if he hadn't been going so fast, the timing wouldn't have mattered.
sometimes people seem to think, "i'll be fine. i'm a good driver. i'm good enough that i can do this safely." but some things you can't do safely. it doesn't matter if you're good or not.
if you're going anywhere today, i hope you get there okay. april 13, 1997 - may 11, 2022
#my brother had a cat named luna#my brother went through an emo/death metal phase in middle school#my brother was really good at math and science#my brother liked the guardians of ga'hoole books#my brother played so many hours of call of duty#my brother learned how to fix cars all on his own#my brother stepped up when our father died#my brother was planning to buy a house#my brother and i had a hard time in middle school#my brother and i werent close for a long time#my brother was in a really bad relationship for a long time#my brother had a drug problem for a while#my brother had a drinking problem#my brother got out of that relationship#my brother got better#my brother stopped doing drugs and drinking#my brother found really wonderful friends#my brother had a wonderful job and had an amazing partner#my brother had so much going for him#my brother was turning into someone who i could look at and say âi want to be friends with themâ#my brother and i were fixing our relationship little by little#my brother was finally growing up and coming into his own#my brother used to hold my hand and protect me when we were in preschool#my brother and i were inseperable once#my brother and i shared a womb#and then we shared a bed#and then a room#and then we were in different classes at school#we went to different high schools#i went to college in chicago and he stayed in massachusetts
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Ryuji is so anxious in the beginning of the game :( hes so caught up in his head during the kamoshida arc; makes me think hes been like that for awhile, at least until u get a bit further in the game. The rumors, the self loathing, the whole stint w kamoshida; hes got too much on his brain and its kinda nice (and a little sad) that he starts sharing those anxieties and doubts the second hes in a safe space to do so.
#chattin#ryuji#hes definitely more relaxed by the madarame arc#like he got friends and a purpose and he just bounced back immediately#but i am thinking of like. the year everything went to shit for him#like it wasnt his fault but also hes the center of all the controversy#and he went from being very popular (im SURE he was; hes called a track STAR)#to being completely alone w failing grades and a broken leg. like he had alot of time to sit and think#and all the stuff w his home life being so disruptive#like despite what the school body will say he does think before he acts#he had a grown man rile him up to make him act; he didnt just go in guns blazin#i dunno where im going w this lol. i just think he gets alot of flak for being loud and annoying#but just like w everyone else; u get to see their real personality when theyre supported and loved#and ryuji is just loud and brash and he loves w his whole heart#just like ann became super vocal and silly about so many things after u help her w shiho#All the thieves are like this. ryuji is a ball of anxiety#but its quieted down when he has real support and purpose in his life again#and its less that hes âquietâ about his worries; if anything hes more vocal about it#but bc hes so vocal about it; u can see the difference between him messaging u every day worrying about kamoshida#to him going w the flow and putting more trust in u and the team#he loves them sm !!!!
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lmaoooo maffhew wanting the knot immediately and having to wait for sasha to catch up with that is so deeply funny like. this omega is not subtle and youâre not a stupid alpha babe! can only imagine what benny has to say to maffhew about it once he catches on and stops banging his head against a wall
idiots to lovers is always great but especially when its two people who would be hitched with 10 kids by now if they stopped being dumb for a single second like its that easy and yet...
to me they very much fall around the same time (infatuation at first scent if you will) just that sasha takes some time to get there not because he's dumb (okay he's a little dumb) but in the sense that its like "this person is very interested in me, i can see and recognise that but theres so much cognitive dissonance in my brain right now between knowing that intrinsically and finding that hard to believe so i unintentionally play dumb because obviously i'm reading too much into things it cant be me they're interested in haha that'd crazy but they're being awfully touchy and flirty with me wow"
but also it takes two to tango and we have to acknowledge that and this is when i would love to bring up the ways in which this man decides is the best way to go about that because he is a catholic school girlie... there's so much hilarity to be had here especially because his flirting is very uh how you say... a little ass backwards if you will especially considering dynamics
"I make it a point to keep the door closed when we're alone in a room together! That's basically a clear invitation that I'm down to fuck!!! Im basically asking to be ragdolled on his knot!!!"
and Benny just pinches the bridge of his nose like "I don't know how to explain to you in a way you'll understand that not everyone went to Catholic school."
But saying that Sasha does side-eye the door knob heavily when Maffhew goes over to close it the first time and he starts sweating like he just got dragged into a game of 7 Minutes in Heaven he did not sign up for and he's 13 again and oh god he got paired with a really cute girl, and he hasn't even had his first real kiss yet and-
And then absolutely nothing happens because Maffhew is just waiting with a polite expectant smile (because his work here is done, he did the heavy lifting know it's Sasha's turn) and this is when Sasha's dynamic classes training kicks in and he basically scolds himself for even assuming in the first place because this is clearly a show of trust (correct) not an invitation for extra circular activities (incorrect buzzer noise) and it basically becomes "This Omega really trusts me, I'm honoured especially as Pack Leader that I'm able to be so accepted into such a private space with the inherent knowledge that I will not encroach their boundaries whatsoever because consent is verbal, this is not in any way an invitation to take advantage of them this is deep platonic trust I will guard with my life :]"
and if you listen closely you can hear the lovely sounds of Maffhew bashing his head into a wall about how much of a gentleman Sasha is but also COME ONNNNNN... you know... once Maffhew realises what's happening which (looks at my watch) is not due for another few months really
Battle of wills: unstoppable force (maffhews catholic school understanding of dynamic interactions) vs immovable object (overseas alpha cotillion classes)
And if you think it's an Oh! An overseas dynamic thing! It's not. The Euros are watching the horrible car crash in front of them and doing absolutely nothing about it because it's none of their business, but they will stare at it... maybe judge it a bit but definitely are observing from the tall grass.
and I'm also not saying that luosty lundy forsy and bobby have a current running bet of how long it'll take for maffhew to break sasha in but i'm also not not saying that... luosty goaded lundy in the midst of a gossip session ("It has to be 3 months, right?) forsy happened to be around so lundy turned to him for advice ("7 months.") and maybeeee bobby overheard from all the way over from his stall and puts in his two cents for what it's worth ("6. Captain nice but not that nice. Very impatient." "So 3!" "No. Impatience makes him double the time, and wait longer. 6 months.") (lundy finally settles on a good 5 months because he's indecisive)
And Sasha does eventually pick up everything maffhew is throwing down... eventually... and when he does it becomes more so I want to court this omega the way they deserve I will take this slow and romance them sweetly :) *smash cut to maffhew caterwauling like a cat in heat*
but also once again its not like maffhew is helping sasha in any way this is idiot4idiot and benny would like to enjoy the car crash with the euros but unfortunately that's his soulmate, thats his bestie, his littermate from birth who has been weaned on the same teat as they climbed over each other to get to it, the first girl you kissed in your childhood bedroom because somehow you started play fighting on the bed because she was like i could totally pin you down easy and then she does and you always noticed how beautiful she was but shes even more gorgeous when she's pinning your wrists to your hannnah montana duvet you promised yourself youd changed out before she came over but you forget and well she teased you about it and you cant help but giggle about how perfect this all is and it seems that the natural conclusion to this is to taste the strawberry lipgloss of her lips because whats a kiss between besties huh its tacky and sticky and it tastes like summer and just other apt metaphors to put here about the inherent -isms of their relationship that i nearly cant put to words properly other than girls having fun (they are fucking)
and well anyways benny is watching and he has a lot of things to say about how its been proceeding so far
"You should really use your words."
"I am!"
"Right because smelling like a fucking perfume shop in the middle of October is using your words."
"This usually works with most Alphas okay!"
"Sasha isn't most Alphas."
"Tell me about it." Matthew grouses before he peeks over to Sam, looking up from beneath his eyelashesâthe exact way he knows both endears him to Sam but also absolutely miffs him all the same, "Worked on you, didn't it?"
"Oh, is that what we're doing right now? We're calling getting a lapful of a preening O in preheat in the middle of a roadie a normal way to go about these things."
"It worked didn't it?" Matthew reiterates.
"It would work better if you useâ"
"Okay! Alright!! I get it!!!" He does not.
like benny here is unfortunately an active listening participant in the going ons of the fuckery if not because hes involved by proxy because of maffhew because who else will hold his hair back as he calls him a dumb bitch you know
#ask#i dont think we nearly take enough advantage of maffhew going to a catholic prepatory school#my friend who went to catholic schooling his whole life until highschool (where we met) dropped the bombshell of the door thing on me#to which i went you have to be fucking with me that cant be real and then i was like well i guess its good we're both boys then-#and then he goes oh my mom knows im queer the rule applies to boys too#and i just nervously looked over to the door knob like well uh maybe we should open the door? i dont want your mom to be mad-#and he was like oh shes convinced we've been fucking since we met so this is allowed youre the only boy she lets do this (the door thing)#a couple of years later when he moved out i found out friends weren't allowed over if he was alone in the house but i was the only exceptio#and i felt like the equivalent of a roving tomcat who keeps wandering into the gardens and got the neighbours cat daisy pregnant#i dont think i could ever look that woman in the eye after all that#this is all to say catholic schooling does things to you man#anyways i do have to reiterate every kitty is fucking each other on a normal basis and in an abo au it gets even worse#making our whorehouse a whorehome#ive always said this but flirting with a virgo is like flirting with a brickwall#actually thatd be an insult to the brickwall because at least the brickwall would give you something to work with#the humble virgo looks you in the eyes before they crush your ego with a single word and youre like thank you mistress may i have another#i feel for maffhew i really do#theres just so many funny ways this just goes terribly wrong because both maffhew and sasha are inherently messy people#matthew and sasha on a team outing sat next to each other in a booth and matthew gets a little tipsy and starts rubbing his cheek#on sashas shoulder and sasha is just looking over to benny like please. help. and benny just snorts and blatantly ignores#him as he continues to sip on his beer and sasha just turns to ekky and silently pleads with his eyes. PLEASE. HELP.#ekky huffs and looks away very much not thrilled about being involved in any form whatsoever and hes not gonna change his mind about this#*5 minutes later* and ekky finds himself switching spots with sasha with a cuddly maffhew on his arm and he's a little disgruntled about it#but its very hard to stay upset when maffhew keeps mumbling about how nice he smells and keeps trying to scent him#all over like he has any right to lay a claim when hes been in the pack for such a short time#and yeah okay maybe he preens a little bit at the compliment like just a little#and maybe he does like being treated like a glorified scratching post but matthew doesnt need to know that (matthew knows that)#well anyways
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also. amber gris as a character is really important to me as an appalachian.
not just her accent or the specific type of person justin based her off of but like
the feeling of losing someone to addiction/overdose while the government does nothing to help, just criminalizes and stigmatizes and makes things worse. which obviously happens in more places than just around here, but we have one of the highest rates of overdose death in the whole country and that whole set of scenes felt like they were really informed by growing up around that
#eliot posts#taz#taz ethersea#the adventure zone#amber gris#drugs cw#death mention#i've made posts like this and deleted them cuz i never feel like i'm wording it just right but just. god.#i'm lucky enough to have never been addicted or to have a best friend or immediate family member die from it#but i've lost or nearly lost extended family to it#and it's like.#my own accent isn't that thick and neither is my immediate family's or best friends'#but i've known ppl who talked like her.#specifically a man named larry who lived with us when we were real young#for some reason especially the way amber says ''come on'' just always reminds me so strongly of larry's voice. he said that phrase a lot#he was the one who taught me to tie my shoes even after my parents lost patience with me for being 'too old' to not understand#he drank excessively like my dad did but he never got mean with us kids#he came and went a few times over the years. the final time he left was when i was in late elementary#he died of an overdose when i was in high school. i didn't feel much of anything at the time.#it had been so long since i'd seen him but also i was at a point in my life where i'd've been numb to big emotions like that anyway#so my parents got drunk about it and i did nothing. just went to school and shit as usual.#i did not expect those feelings to get dredged up by a goddamned comedy dnd podcast#but they did it well i think#even though i had to pause it to take a breather multiple times. i enjoyed it overall. cathartic i guess?
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do you recommend learning French
if you want to, go for it! it'll be tough because of the phonetics being a bit all over the place so i recommend you watch shows or something to get an idea of how words are pronounced vs how they're written.
like if you've watched over the garden wall a million times and remember the dialogue word for word you can try watching the french dub with french subtitles on(make sure they do match the audio and aren't the sub for the og audio, pick the audio description option that should match the dub, if there isn't any just go without or else it won't match at all and be way too confusing) and see if you can understand what's going. or just start with french audio and whichever subtitles you do understand first, whichever is easier. (it doesn't have to otgw but it was my first show i've watched without subtitles when it came out so that was my first thought!)
i don't know of any place where you can learn it tho, duolingo fired their staff for ai and wasn't all that great to begin with but whatever helps go for it! and if it sucks hit da brick, takes breaks and all that.
#i learned some base of english in school then started reading english fantrad for my fav manga when the french ones took too long.#then i watched spn and joined this fucking place lmao. i had french subtitles for it tho then i started watching lots of cartoons without#subtitles. took me many watches to get all the subtleties and jokes ect but it was v fun rediscovering the shows each time and going 'how#could have missed this??!' i also watched a normal amount of markiplier lets play since he used to have subtitles on. learned the word#'convenient' thanks to him lol he used to say it a lot.#what im saying is to learn a language you've got to immerse yourself in it but you also need the base to do so first.#i think pre spn i was around 6/20 in english and after spn i went all the way to 17/20. can't hate the show no matter what because of that.
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[TUVOKTOBER: Day 6] Based on this line of dialogue:
#I will forever be like 'what did you mean by that??' jennifer lawrence clip about Tuvok saying he 'spoke out against it'#He isn't??? A politician?? And never was???#Is his family one which holds a certain amount of sway??#I need to know if he 'spoke out' in an official capacity - like a way that mattered to the world at large or if he was just talking shit#I tend to assume mostly the latter - maybe talking shit to specific people but still. It reminds me of how in Gravity he says#HE chose to leave Jara and school when in reality he was kicked out and banished - adjusting the facts#anyway one of the things I sincerely love about Tuvok is that he would be like one of many petty Vulcan antagonists* in another series#especially when he was younger but it's not like he's THAT much better in canon#Ex: Though Tuvok agrees & praises the peace treaty he still seems to view B'Elanna unfavorably bc she's Klingon#<- Like what Neelix says 'That's just it!! You don't feel anything FOR me but you feel things AGAINST me' that's him a nutshell#<- Another example is how he treats Chakotay in the earlier seasons: Deliberately undermining him and questioning his authority#He can be very sanctimonious both about him personally and facets of himself without much tolerance for others or deviation#It's a legit character flaw and I do love highlighting it bc I love him even when I want to choke him to death he's fascinating <3#It's also VERY interesting bc he WAS more of a rebel punk as a teen then he went to the monastery and now he is shown to be very#devoted to Vulcan ways and have a keen interest in monastic life.#I know Vulcan philosophy is NOTHING like christianity or catholicism but like forget that for a second. Ok. Now: 'Tuvok's born again swag?#off the charts' v_v thank you#bea art tag#Tuvoktober#st voyager#st voyager fanart#*And this never changes. Unlike Spock or T'Pol he never has moments (that I can recall) where the narrative's like 'GOTCHA!'#& he's never insecure about his identity as Vulcan. Never desires to feel or be more human. & I /do/ think this is bc he's older! We see#himas an ensign in 'Flashback' struggling with his identity as its pitted against humanity AND in 'Gravity' where he's shown to have disdai#for Vulcan culture & customs. It really makes me wish we had gotten more character-building episodes from him rather than character-breakin#ones where he's not really acting as himself in full. v_v#also one last thing: I recognize that other characters do try2 'GOTCHA!' Tuvok both seriously and lightheartedly but Tuvok is never framed#as being actually affected by this unlike Spock or T'Pol where it's a whole like Thing about their characters (humanity - feeling)#tuvoktober
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If the creators of Eyeshield 21 didn't want me to imprint on Kongo Unsui like a baby chick why was he 1. a tragic repressed monk man 2. really buff+sad eyes+big arched nose+killer jawline 3. just a little bit scary and evil sometimes 4. dragon-themed.
Anyway having reread now as a fully pupated Grownup Queer and talked it over with @toastyglow; college Hiruma/Unsui supremacy. I think they should explore each other's bodies and also put each other through increasingly convoluted romantic mindgames between pitched life or death football games. If only because it would make Agon SO angry. (edit: more of this lol)
#Splickedydoodles#Eyeshield 21#Kongo Unsui#Hiruma Yoichi#Kobayakawa Sena#Raimon Taro#Kurita Ryokan#Takekura Gen#ALL I'M SAYING IS all I'm saying is...... if they didn't want me to decide that my favorite character wasn't straight#they shouldn't have made him the only guy from the all-boys school who seems completely unaffected by seeing a girl#did I also take part in a LENGTHY sena/unsui fic when I was in high school: yes because it was adorable and also very fun#anyway this ES21 dump went wildly off the rails and now it's four AM#I hope this glimpse into my deep id is fun for somebody lol
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