#when I saw this post I knew I’d have to draw something for it

[chloesimaginationthings]

Springtrap making friends in Dead by Daylight,,

[judesmoonbeauty]

Miss Fairytale Keeper, Come Have Fun With Us: Jude Jazza END

Translations will not include screenshots or CGs as mentioned here. Fan translation only. Not 100% accurate. Please expect grammatical errors. Cybird owns everything. Feel free to re-blog, but please do not post my translations elsewhere. Thank you, for you support! ☾.

When I reached out, it was Jude’s hand I took.

Jude: If ya let go of me, I won’t letcha off.

Kate: Okay!

He makes me stand up, and kicks away all those attacking me, one after the other.

Jude: Tch, what kind of management do they have to be so hated like this?

Kate: Should YOU be the one to say that about other people?!

Jude: Don’t say unnecessary things!

The ones who attacked me were thin, and looked very poor.

They’re people who’ve lost something very important to them through gambling.

Even if I do sympathize with them a little, it’s never an excuse to draw deadly weapons.

Jude: Run!

Punching and kicking, he defeats his enemies one after the other, pulling me along strongly, and as we head for the door, we dodge bullets in the thick black smoke.

As we left the casino, explosions sounded behind us.

We kept running until we reached a nearby port.

Jude: I’m havin’ a real shitty day.

Kate: Is it okay now?

Our fastened hands were easily released, and the warmth of my right hand cooled quickly.

Feeling a bit lonely, I opened my mouth to gloss it over.

Kate: In the end, we didn’t collect any evidence.

Jude: There’s evidence.

Kate: What?

I’m not sure where he got it from, but holding a thick ledger in his hands, he handed it to me.

When I looked inside, I saw things other than money that had been wagered in the casino so far, and a list of customers who received them alongside Viscount Smith’s signature.

Kate: When did you get this?!

Jude: Took it from that damned Viscount when the explosion happened.

(I couldn’t see because of the smoke, but I guess that’s what happened.)

Based on the overwhelming evidence, the casino will be brought to justice before her Majesty the Queen.

Just as I was feeling relieved over completing the mission, I suddenly remembered something.

Kate: If I had known that I was being used for collateral, I would’ve bet….

(I knew that Jude would win…..)

Then he made a disgusted expression…..

Jude: Our princess doesn’t seemta understand why she was prohibited.

As we stood facing each other, the sea breeze blew through his hair.

Jude: Ain’t no way someone who shows their emotions so easily could win.

Jude: Imagine how much a young woman without much money would hafta pay if she lost?

(Ah…..)

I recall the words of Viscount Smith and realize.

(Selling my body, experiencing atrocious things, the worst case scenario….)

A chill ran down my spine as I realized how naive I’d been.

The client list had records of women and children being sold, and I finally understood those repeated words had been for my sake.

(Jude said that he’d protect me.)

Feeling mixed emotions of his kindness and my own naivete, i bit my lip and looked down, but when his shoes came into view, I looked up.

Jude: Really, cantcha say thanks to the person who saved ya?

Kate: …! Thank you.

When I expressed my gratitude to him, who is foul-mouthed but kind,

Jude: Seems like Crown’s Fairytale Keeper has grown attached to the admirable Vogel.

Jude: Kissin’ the winner. I think ya wanted that bad personality.

Kate: That’s something Nica said on his own,

Jude: Such good friends that yer on a first name basis. (Jude’s angy face.)

His raised voice and pouty expression, seemed to indicate he was in a bad mood.

Jude: I mean, is the princess even bold ‘nuff to kiss a man herself.

Upset with his making fun of me, I confronted him.

Kate: It’s just a kiss, I can do it.

Jude: If so, then I’ll betcha won’t.

Kate: If I can kiss you?

Jude: I’ll do anythin’ ya say. Probably impossible anyway.

He’s so confident I can’t do it despite my enthusiasm.

We faced and stared at each other for a while,

(Where should I kiss him……) T-T on the lips.

I looked at his lips, but didn’t have the courage, so I felt conflicted,

Jude: ….Ridiculous. (I’m with him on this one.)

He turned on heel and walked away.

Kate: W-wait a minute!

I quickly grabbed his arm and stood on my tip toes as he looked back at me,

Jude: Huh?

I kissed his forehead.

Kate: ….I kissed you.

Kate: Now, please listen to what I have to say.

He put his hand to his forehead, his eyes slightly open,

Kate: I’m Crown’s Fairytale Keeper, not Vogel’s Fairytale Keeper!

Starting to feel embarrassed, I ran past him.

Kate: That’s why I’m going home!

A few seconds later, with the sound of him turning around, only one word was heard.

Jude: Kid.

(He’s making fun of me again…..!)

When I turned to say something back, I saw the softest expression on his face.

Kate: Huh……

It was as warm as sunlight, and it was the first time I’d seen it.

It felt like time had stopped for a moment,

Jude: What kinda dumb look are ya makin’?

His grumpy face returned immediately.

Jude: Hurry ‘n go home.

He started walking and I followed him quickly.

Kate: Please wait!

Perhaps the reason why I didn’t stand next to the swinging jacket that was a step ahead of me, was because the excitement I felt still hadn’t gone away.

[Master List] [Jude Epilogue]

Heh, jelly Jude. Pouty Jude. More of that please.

Dividers: @.adornedwithlight

Tags List: @sh0jun @theimaginativelyreticent @sapphire-323 @letter-from-afar @nateko @cosmowgyrall. @lunaaka

[frostbitedoesstuff]

I wanted to make this post not to address anyone in particular, but just for the sake of getting it off my mind.

I absolutely hate it when people in the Honkai fandom say that Welt is a terrible father and/or abandoned his family. The truth is, Welt loves his family so, so much, and still cares about them deeply even though he’s far away. There is clear and irrefutable evidence of this.

When you talk to Welt on the Express, you have the option to ask him about his friends. This is his response.

Here, he acknowledges that there are people waiting for him back home, and says that at some point prior to the game’s events, he asked Herta to send a signal to his home in hopes of being able to tell his family that he’s safe, and perhaps even tell them of his whereabouts (though that’s just an assumption on my end.)

When the Express is about to leave for the Xianzhou Loufu, if you talk to Welt, you can ask him what planet he would like to go to. This is his response.

Notice how his immediate answer to where he wants to go is home, as well as the word he uses to describe the fact that he cannot do so: sadly. He really could have said anywhere else, especially because he likely knew that probably wasn’t what the Trailblazer meant when they asked that question, but no. He answers honestly, and his honest answer is that he wants to go home.

This next section will have spoilers for the Penacony quest line, so proceed with caution.

For this next example, we’ll need some background information. What exactly is Ena’s Dream? Well, to explain in simple terms, Ena’s Dream is an escapist dream state meant to simulate what someone would view to be an ideal reality. The specifics of the dream varies from person to person, because each person has different desires, different ideals, different wants, different needs. But Ena’s Dream is meant to simulate what the individual TRULY desires, no matter how unrealistic or outlandish it may be.

In 2.3, if you talk to Welt, you can ask him what he saw in Ena’s Dream. This is his response.

In Ena’s dream, he goes home and reunites with his family. Do you understand what that means?

What Welt truly desires, more than anything else, is to find a way back home. What he saw in Ena’s Dream is blatant proof.

Another thing I’d like to draw attention to is how he says that realizing it was a dream was a “bitter truth.” The fact that he still had the Astral Express wasn’t enough for him to describe it as “bittersweet.” It was just bitter.

(No more Penacony spoilers from here on out)

Speaking of the Astral Express, I’d like to bring up something regarding not only Welt’s relationship with them, but the entirety of Star Rail’s world as a whole.

Something about Welt’s character that I really love is his ability to embrace the world around him and the people in it, DESPITE the fact that he also misses his home.

He’s engrossed himself deeply in the history and general ins and outs of Star Rail’s universe, to the point where whenever the Trailblazer finds something they don’t recognize, they ask Welt, and he can always provide a detailed answer.

Additionally, Welt has formed a strong familial relationship with the members of the Astral Express, and has a strong desire to keep them safe. For example, during the Jarilo-VI quest line, Welt expresses a clear desire to intervene when he sees the intensity of the situation Trailblazer, March, and Dan Heng are in, and when they return, Welt outright admits that there were more than a few times where he felt legitimate distress, making an off handed comment about having to “stop worrying so much.”

This is something that I feel like some people don’t understand; Welt can love this world and his home world simultaneously, and he does. Just because he isn’t constantly stressing out about going home and refusing to make connections out of fear of getting attached doesn’t mean that he isn’t thinking about his home or doesn’t want to find a way to go back.

I believe that the solution Welt wants is to have the best of both worlds, not to completely abandon one for the other. This is why his desired reality of finding a way home and him hoping that his journey with the Astral Express never ends can exist side by side. He truly does want both, and in the ideal ending to his story, he should be able to have both (at least in my opinion.)

I’ve never even played HI3, but I know of Welt’s lore and he is my favorite character in HSR, so I hate it when people mischaracterize him, ESPECIALLY when it comes to this. I hope that by writing this character analysis, this will help people understand him better, and show the people that think he doesn’t love his family that they are blatantly wrong. If you know someone who thinks that, please consider showing them this post.

(One last thing! If you read this entire analysis, then clearly you must like Star Rail. If you’re looking for more content, I’d like to make you aware that as of posting this, I have a Sampard and Astral Express chatfic, as well as a blog where I post Star Rail fanart (frostbitedoesfanart)! Please check them out if you have the time, and thanks for listening to me ramble <3)

[slvtforfiction]

Hi I think your request are open. 😭

Anyways I have a prompt where it’s like Jonnie meets a fan and like later on he kind stalks her media and accidentally likes something for an old emo phase and she dms him “??” And it just spirals from there into something cute?

An old phase,A new like

☆ Yesss!

☆ Love this,thank you anon x

☆ Sorry it’s so short

☆ Johnnie Guilbert X Reader

☆ Fluff

☆ If you are going to request: please check at the pinned post if requests are open,otherwise I will delete your requests which I have already been doing

☆ Creds to @cafekitsune for dividers :)

Masterlist | Pinned post

“So today we are-“ I look down at my phone as a notification pushed past my do not disturb, Johnnie Guilbert like your photo.

I knew Johnnie,we had text back and forth for a while about doing a video idea even though we had never done it. I had met him at a convention and most likely acted like the biggest fan girl alive.

I clicked on the notification and saw that the like was a photo from 2020,almost 4 years ago.

You:

Liking photos from 2020,huh?

Johnnie:

Sorry didn’t mean to.

You:

Nooo it’s okay sorry lol

Johnnie:

Okay good lol,thought you were mad

You:

No,no lol

Johnnie:

So how are you?

2 weeks later,

“I’ll see you again next week? Maybe another date?” I ask with a schoolgirl smile on my face, “Yeah ofcourse,I’d love that.” He replied and I smiled,kissing his cheek.

We walked back to my apartment and watched a movie,cuddling up to each other and sharing some popcorn whilst we watched some shitty romcom. Neither of us cared about the movie,though neither of us would say it. We just enjoyed the comfort of each other.

Around nine o’clock Johnnie left,I was sad to see him go but I knew he had an apartment to sleep in so I couldn’t exactly keep him.

6 months later,

“Hey Johnnie!” I smile down the phone,we hadn’t hung out a lot this week but I didn’t mind,opting to sleep on call for the week instead.

“Hey love,you okay?” He asks me and I smile at the nickname, “Yeah,im okay,you?” I ask and I could almost hear his smile.

It was always nice to hear johnnies voice,it had become comforting over the past month or so,despite his energetic attitude. He always knew when it was time to settle down and he always knew what to say and how to say it. It made me envy those closest to him.

“So how was your day?”

1 year later,

“Happy 6 month anniversary!” He said as he hugged me,I smiled and kissed him as I grabbed some chocolates I had bought him.

He handed me some flowers and chocolate and I smiled, “Happy 6 months!” I smiled at him,my face beaming with excitement.

One phone call 6 months ago had led me to become infatuated with him,though I would be lying to say that I hadn’t had a small crush on him since I first text him.

We sat down on his sofa in his apartment and smiled as we put on the same shitty romcom that we always do,it had become our tradition and no one was complaining. As long as I got to snuggle up to the comfort of his chest I didn’t mind.

It had become apparent to both of us that we didn’t really care what we watched as long as we were with each other. I smiled as I snuggled into his chest,something that had become somewhat familiar with us. He snaked his hand around my waist and we sat their in comfortable silence as we admired each other.

2 years later,

“Happy one year!” I say as I wake up next to him in our apartment, “Happy one year.” He smiled at me,clearly as tired as he always was,I smiled at his goofy little smile and kissed him on the cheek.

“I got you something.” Johnnie whispers as he reaches into his draw,on the other side of the bed. He pulls out a ring box and I smile as he opens it, “I got us those Pandora promise rings you like.”He says with a smile. I sit up in bed and shimmy onto his lap pulling him into a deep hug. “Thank you Johnnie!” I almost yell as I kiss all over his face.

“Do you wanna be the moon or the sun?” I ask and he shakes his head “Whatever you want princess.” He chuckles and I immediately give him the moon ring. “Johnnie,we’re literally the sun and the moon.” I smile and he nods his head, “I love you so much,thank you!” I say happily and he smiles at me as he gives me a peck to the lips.

“I got you something too!” I say with a huge smile beaming across my face, I reach into my draw and pull out three wrapped presents. I feel like a parent watching their child open their presents with glee.

“Awh thank you baby!” He says pulling me back in for a hug and I smile,accepting the hug gratefully.

6 years later,

“I love you so much,I couldn’t imagine spending the rest of my life with anyone else,Y/n Y/l/n, will you marry me?”

“Yes!!!”

[sugusoneandonly]

Quixotic - STSG - ch 2

prev // next

a/n 1: ik i said fem reader but like there’s gender neutral pronouns, however the reader does have feminine presentations maybe? Like dresses, makeup, etc. 😭 idk how ts rlly works guys dont cancel me im a rainbow person too😞

cw cont: jealous sugu ,, questioning sugu ,, oblivious reader ,, thats all i got lmk if i missed smth

!! do not repost/copy on any other platform !! if u do at least lmk where and give creds 😒 /j !! pls don’t tho <3

After your brief introduction with Geto, you were now sitting on a leather couch that overlooked the bright city of Tokyo. Gojo had stepped out to go handle whatever modeling business he had to attend to, leaving you with Geto. It’s been silent since then, even more than before the chatterbox out of all 3 of you had left.

You couldn’t help but admire the man before you, no doubt in the fact that he could’ve become a model himself if he wanted to. As if he could feel your gaze, he turned around to lock his deep lilac eyes with your own. You blinked. He smiled, softly but surely. Anything he would say, you would do. Whether out of fear, admiration, or something else, you didn’t know.

His studio was clean (cleaner than yours at least) yet had the essence of life and his own soul strewn over it. Silken fabrics adorned the windows and deep fabrics were strewn across the island in his office, his desk with a stack of papers and an open portfolio. With curiosity your gaze shifted to it, focusing in on it to try and see what was on them, his latest line maybe?

Yet before you could catch the slightest hint, his pale hands had flipped the open file closed. “I apologize for my lack of introduction, i’m Suguru Geto, you probably already know though.” You had to get a grip on yourself, he’s your…mentor and you can’t swoon around for your own mentor. “I’m Y/N L/N, I really love your work.” you quickly managed to get out.

A moment of pause, and he let out chuckle that was deep yet as light as a summer’s night breeze. “I’m quite familiar, I see your name in my notifications quite frequently.” And with that, summer’s scorching sun had graced itself into your cheeks, and if you couldn’t blush before you might as well have now. Your appreciation for his work posted online hadn’t gone unnoticed apparently. What’s worse, he knew your social media already and you can’t remember whether you left it private or public.

“..I’m sorry again for my harsh behavior it’s not everyday you meet your lovers ex and take them in-” He began but you quickly cut him short, hands frantically waving in front of you frown etched with wide eyes and scrunched eyebrows. “I have no feelings for him anymore and even if I did there’s no way I’d express them, especially considering everyones… positions. I didn’t even know I-” realizing your rambling, you finally looked him in the eye, a tight lipped smile pulled on his face. “Then there’s no point wasting time on informalities, is there then?” , not trusting your mouth you simply nodded.

“We have a tight schedule today, we begin with picking the next project.” we. i get to help my idol make his next project. a project that people are gonna wear. and people that actually know who made it instead of my occasional etsy shoppers.

When you returned to reality, you saw a collection of various designs laid before you on the coffee table. The seasons were shifting from summer to fall. Although it was early September, the industry never waited, not even on the leaves to fall. Your mouth fell to a small o , Suguru swore if you had gazed at him with the stars in your eyes, they might’ve been warm enough to make him melt.

wait, what, that’s not how it goes - sugu

You skim through each and every sketch, feeling as if you’ve discovered a new chest of gems, one that nobody knew of. You stopped when you fell across a particular sketch, not really a sketch but a photocopy. The style felt familiar, and upon closer examination, it’s my drawing

You look up at Geto, “I was thinking, there’d be no point in interning if you couldn’t exercise your own work. So, if it’s alright with you I was thinking to incorporate some of your ideas into the next line.”

A grin spread across your face, “Yes, Of Course! I’d love that so mu-” you were cut off with the door opening, and Geto quickly shut the folder with the sketches out of sight. You turned around to see the door, none other than Gojo standing there, playful pout gracing his face. “He’s not allowed to see the works in progress,” Geto explained. You tilted your head, no words, and like second nature Gojo responded “He wants to be mysterious and keep it a surprise like the bum he is.” Gojo had scrunched his nose at Geto, plopping himself down next to him, arm resting on the couch behind Geto’s back.

A twinge of jealousy pinched at Geto, seeing what’s probably surface level remnants of your past relationship come back to life like clockwork. He brushed it off, you had no feelings, Gojo has none, what could go wrong.

he forgot about himself

Yet, you had no feelings. None. You looked at the couple in front of you and exhaled with relief. you did it, you were over him, and you can carry on

It was dead silence now, how unfortunate. Why won’t your mouth work, say something. Thankfully, Geto and Gojo had been fussing over whatever rich people business Gojo had brought with him. Albeit, quite hushed. Praying your stomach wouldn’t go back to its old ways, you had jinxed yourself. A quite prominent growl had presented itself to the room. Geto glanced up at the clock, Gojo smiled. It was pushing 1 in the afternoon, unfortunately you couldn’t brush it off as only one person was sitting in the direction of the sound, and that person was you. Gojo had slightly toed Geto under the table.

“Next item on the schedule would probably better off as lunch, hm?” Geto offered, a teasing, forced?, smile on his face.

“Really?” You glanced down at the paper, lunch wasn’t for another hour? Quickly the paper was lightly tugged from your hold, two different hands yet adorned by similar rings. The two glanced at each other. “A designers life never sits set in stone, little one.” Gojo said in a sing-song.

“Ohh” you had bought it. They take this very seriously, perhaps it’s best not to mess around too much like this - Suguru

Quickly, the two men had already began to make their way out the door and to the elevator down to the city. You made your way to keep up with them, to wherever they were taking you.

©sugusoneandonly 2024

a/n 2 :: BONJOUR 🥖

This is very slow burn i think. Guys im being so fr idk what im doing im just throwing up my thoughts. Idk how to write enemies to lovers so i give u crisis sugu <33

[kishdoodles]

Treebark Week 2024 - A Post-Mortem

Hi! If you haven’t seen, I have released seven (7!) videos for Treebark Week 2024! This wall of text is my behind the scenes and also post-mortem thoughts on the project, which I found worth documenting.

Even if you don’t end up reading the text, I appreciate every comment, tag, and view my videos get. I did it for the fun of it and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t do it for the attention. I did, because I think these videos are the funniest things I’ve ever released. Shoutout to @thefluxqueen for being my partner in crime and confidant for these. You saw my vision.

I wanted to do something for Treebark week but admittedly I had noooo idea. So this whole gimmick was a fun set up for me to stretch my creativity in. What started as “I’m just going to do everything in mspaint with a mouse” spiraled to “I think it’s going to get boring if everything’s in the same style, so I’m going to have to do something different everyday.”

The important factor to me throughout all of this is earnesty.

Even if its life started as a joke, this project is a love letter in every respect. This is what I grew up on, this is the YouTube that is precious to me. Capturing this era of time in 7 videos is all at once easy, yet surprisingly laborious.

First I planned the songs. Fitting the songs with the prompts was a brain scratcher, but once we (me and Spain) had a few in the rest slotted in pretty easily. Common thread was, of course, any popular song from the mid-late 2000s.

The first confirmed song was Sugar, Sugar for Sweet (Day 2) courtesy of Spain, given the Eddsworld video. We had a few songs for Burn (Day 3) or Infernal (Day 4) which we threw out (Elli Goulding’s Burn, 2NE1’s Fire, Steam Powered Giraffe’s Fire Fire, etc.) I ended up digging through my old playlist and listened to 20% Cooler, which after a realization I immediately slotted it for Frost (Day 1). Spain brought up the Heat Waves parody (Cold Spells) for Frost too, to which I realized I could just do regular Heat Waves, so that became what I did for Burn.

Bring Me To Life was brought to my attention (I forgot how, maybe Youtube recommendations?) and with the lyrics, it became the song for Blood (Day 7). The all time classic, Angel with a Shotgun, fit in nicely with the prompt of Divine (Day 4), so there was no contest. Another classic, Everytime We Touch, was harder to fit but I eventually reasoned through the prompts enough to fit it with Lips (Day 5) (the everytime we kiss part).

At this point, nothing I’ve found fit Day 6 (picnic/garden/strawberry) at ALL. So I decided the only way I knew how. RANDOM CHOICE!

Mad World won but that was a trap, for I have biased myself toward Animal I’ve Become at that point and it almost won, so I went with that instead. This is a lawless land. 

-

The actual video ideas really came to me in piecemeal, so I’ll explain how I got each idea as I cover each day in order of when I completed them. 

20% Cooler (Day 1) was the most straightforward of the days. It was done in 1 hour and 30 minutes and I was purposefully being extremely literal about the lyrics. I already had the vision for what I want, and I didn’t want to care about quality all that much, so it came together really fast. 

For my process, I lined with mspaint brush and then bucket tooled with default colours. I took advantage of the new layer system mspaint added for some scenes, but otherwise it was as simple as just drawing. (Pictured, 3 layers for 2 scenes.)

It was really easy to just quickly edit in Windows Movie Maker 6 too, I just dragged the pictures in, slapped effects, roughly timed everything and it’s done.

Programs used: mspaint, Windows Movie Maker 6

-

Sugar, Sugar (Day 2) was an honest effort at avoiding any complicated animations. I initially thought of doing an animation similar to the original video that inspired the song choice, but eventually scaled back because. I don’t want to animate. 

Thus came the decision of subject matter. I ended up settling on the demon roleplay because I thought it was the campiest thing in the world. And it was a sweet reunion, no? The lyrics just fit the vibe, and in a moment of brilliance (hitting the showers) I thought to make a visual novel. One reflective of old flash games and like the visual novels of cultural zeitgeist at the time.

I’ve known about Ren’py for quite some time now, but I’ve never properly learned how to use it. For this my task was simple. Find out how to change sprites, backgrounds, and move people into the scene.

Sprites and backgrounds were easy, so those were the first things I did. Ren’s sprites were inspired in design by Demon Hunters in the Warcraft world, mostly because I was playing a lot of Hearthstone and liked the idea. Martyn’s sprite style was inspired by early 2000s anime visual novels, like Higurashi (though I’ve personally never consumed it nor do I actually recommend consuming this piece of media (neutral) its ripple throughout the anime community was felt. Notably, parodies of the anime’s opening were very popular.) I toned back the stylizations, but trust me when I say that Martyn’s hands were purposefully big to be yaoi hands. It didn’t end up that big, and I did not give him the dorito chin here so, immense self control on my part (or cowardice?). False and Joel were just my regular style. For all this I used my tablet instead of my mouse.

The programming part was a little troublesome, but it wasn’t anything I couldn’t google, so it got done pretty fast. There’s other small bits, like how I mismatched the background sizes, the sprite sizes (with each other)(minorly) but for the most part it came together pretty quick. Once the VN was done, it was just about recording it. So I put on the song, and danced along.

[You can download the VN here]

Programs used: Ren’Py, OBS, mspaint, After Effects (just to move the scene over at the beginning)

-

So I knew I wanted a classic style AMV, so that eventually became Everytime We Touch (Day 5). 

The pictures mostly come from a discord server I’m in (hi [redacted]!!!!) and I thought of it like a nice homage to the insanity we had in there. Bless all of you guys, you guys were the ones I wanted this series to be made for the most.

Not much to say beyond that, besides me just editing it all on movie maker as usual.

Programs used: Windows Movie Maker 6

-

Angel With a Shotgun (Day 4) was the last to be planned for. I predicted it was going to be the easiest to make on the fly (it was) and just kind of winged it. I wanted a unique style still for it though, and the idea of drawing their cubitos came pretty late. 

I was not exempt from this trend in my youth (my art in mspaint, age 11, me and my sister)

The rest was history. Just kidding, I really wanted something to do with the shotgun thing so I literally searched “shotgun” in Curseforge and got MrCrayfish’s gun mod just for the shotgun. I loaded up the 3rd Life world I had from my Broken Lives animatic (it’s a custom made world using the seed) and just got to work with FreeCam and OBS (it’s my first time with FreeCam too!)

A rejected clip I didn’t use because of skin consistency / continuity.

Programs used: Minecraft, mspaint, Windows Movie Maker 6

-

Heat Waves (Day 3) acquired a pixel art style as an homage to its original lyric video. People have said it reminded them of Homestuck, which I honestly don’t mind. It fits the era and I did grow up with it. It kinda looped back in on itself that way.

I blame this frame, here's it as a gif which lies unused.

For the video, the more I rewatched bits of Last Life for it (it’s been a while!) I realized it had a lot more potential than I initially thought. Though I doubt most of it didn’t come through in the final product (I limit these videos to a minute or less, if possible, excepting credits and allowing few more seconds over the minute mark so long as it felt warranted), I tried to cram in what I thought fitting to the prompt the whole time.

The watch tower burning was an easy pick, a classic Treebark moment you might say. For the rest of it, the nuance laid a lot in how Martyn presented the Shadow Alliance. “The Dog, The Shadow, The Roots. We make this place burn.” Under the eyes of the moon, it witnessed this pact form, and its resolution for the server. The moon is included in multiple frames because of this, as a stand-in for the eye of the Watcher(s) I included at the start, watching Martyn through the series.

In a lot of ways, how Lizzie and BigB turned red I also found fascinating. Lava and explosions you could argue are an extension of burning and fire, and an explosion was also how Martyn left the series. Ren, from the start of this alliance, inexplicably committed to and saw through what ultimately rips the people he was loyal to away from him. 

Martyn on the other hand, I drew in the later portions quite aware of the position he’s in, hence only his eye in the frame with the last 4 folks. This to me starts a path for him toward where he goes in the later serieses (notably in Limited Life). This is all very “vibes” and instinctual kind of “trust me on this” sort of read on c!Martyn honestly.

On missed opportunities, I’m almost upset at how I never brought up the moment Martyn buys a love crystal from Scar (never used, it got blown up) which I (and a lot of other) may have delusionally thought it was for Ren. Besides that, I never had a chance to desaturate the colours in the video leaving only red (which Ren did upon the encounter of the establishment of the Moon Cult)(it really emphasized Martyn’s lips!), I tried just plain desaturating, but ended up ditching it since it never felt like it jived well with the rest of the video.

All that aside, I finished this one really late (for me, which was past midnight on the day it was going to be posted), so I’m glad it was out on time. It’s the one I put in the most effort for, and I’m glad to see people enjoy it.

The eye on its own, which reveals the Watcher symbol I accidentally did in the wrong orientation. Oops!

Programs used: Aseprite, After Effects

-

Animal I Have Become (Day 6) was thought on for a while. Eventually I have my eureka moment and I thought it was a nice shout out to the Bannedstory community who I’ve followed in my early days, where I’d watch animations of people’s custom OCs (original characters) made with Maplestory sprites animated to audio clips that I really wasn’t supposed to be listening to at the time lol. That, and all the online games and the like I grew up with on the early internet. I personally didn’t partake in it, but roleplaying on those was a common sight, and I found it endearing. 

My partner in crime for this day in particular was @thefluxqueen, because I really can’t be bothered with character customization for a lot of these games (I respect the craft but I lack the patience), but I knew who LOVED doing that. He really knocked it out of the park, helping me do the Gachalife, Club Penguin, and the characters for Animal Jam and Ponytown. For the latter, they handed me the account information and we just went to town.

A Treebark stream in a just world.

I can’t tell you exactly how I assigned the lyrics, but I definitely assigned the animal sections during the chorus so it was a surprise (and so it also fit the lyrics). I did have fun recording and we had a fun time in Ponytown. We were shown where other mcyt fans are by a Grian pony (Hermit Hill) and then we hung out there sitting down while we workshopped the Bannedstory segments with both our sonas together. All in all a great time.

It took a few takes.

Programs used: Bannedstory 3 (I would’ve loved to use 4, I grew up with that!), Gachalife, Club Penguin, Animal Jam, Ponytown, Windows Movie Maker 6, OBS

-

For Bring Me to Life (Day 7)... I ended up getting more attached to the thought of it the longer this project went on. 

I wanted it to be the end all be all, go out with a bang and everything. I kept thinking and thinking, how do I end Treebark week? After a week of homages, how do I make the last one?

What’s beyond my childhood? It was just growing up. But it’s not like I had to let anything go. My artistic endeavors are influenced by all of my experiences. I saw good reason to bring it all home, do a callback to the styles of the entire week, it’s my victory lap.

And why not call back every instance of Treebark through the entire series then? This evolved into me learning more about Martyn’s lore because I want to be informed! I want to make this as someone who earnestly loves the narrative of these characters, and the stories they’ve told.

From a story perspective, it felt like Martyn was always doomed to tragedy. Suppose the life series always does end tragically, but Martyn’s Vtuber in relation to all this has its own inherent tragedy to it. In my eyes, this roamer of cyberspace constantly has to live through different lives with familiar people. The people he loved and cared for in one world will always be ripped from him, and he knows that.

Amongst everything the Unguided Hand gets me the most. In the video I drew the Ren he chases as a shadow. He’ll never get the Ren he knew then, back. Even if he meets another Ren in another world, it's never going to be The Red King. To me, Limited Life is the snapping point, a point of selfishness above all else in the comfortable knowledge that he wins, without ever needing to experience the same closeness and loyalty he had in lives past. The realization that this is what the game was about. Winning at all costs. I wanted the progression to reflect that.

Deep down, maybe he yearns to be saved from all that. The song echoes that sentiment. I tried to match the lyrics to how I saw the timeline of events as close as possible for that to hit. In this, Ren is his anchor, someone that he gets drawn to no matter the incarnation. The tragedy is that Ren, even if he knows about what Martyn’s going through, can’t join him in this journey. Martyn will always be alone in this experience, and Ren can only be a short comfort before the cycle starts anew. 

I quite liked the pixel art I did for LimLife!Martyn

From a meta perspective, this video (and by extension, the whole series) is about art and creating. I have been obsessed with art for 14 years now, and as time goes on I’ve grown fond of every way that we, as people, have evolved our storytelling. The multitudes of mediums that we have developed to express ourselves and share narratives will continue to fascinate me endlessly. Cringe be damned, there is a universal desire to create and enjoy stories of all folds. From the smallest story told from painstakingly typing chat boxes for little custom-made characters to say, to the highest production play put on for multiple hours in a game of Minecraft. 

And at the beginning of my journey lay paper and pencil. Bring Me To Life is an elaborate pun on my end, yes, but also a reflection of my roots. I started my journey as an artist endlessly doodling the adventures of tiny magical girls fighting demons, drawing fanart of costumes in MMO games I found cool, and sharing them with my friends at school. I find myself still drawing, still creating, for hundreds, if not thousands of eyes to see. Still I get inspired by the stories others tell, and I create in turn. In appreciation, in love. 

Bring Me To Life as a song, is a slate that, to me, reflected what I saw in the relationship of Treebark. Bring Me To Life is also a demand, of a piece of art that I had a vision for, that I wanted to bring to life. I struggled at how to end it for a while. Closing the book became very straightforward. It’s the end of this video, this saga, and another way that me, as a Watcher myself (as what they’re originally meant to represent) exercises control over stories in my own unique way. Creation is never limited to a select few. I think everyone should keep getting inspired by the things around them, and keep making art in turn.

To the people who’ve made it til the end here, make art, keep creating. Do shitty doodles, write whatever you want, make sounds and crafts and keep living. That’s all I really want, and this was what this whole series was about.

Programs used: mspaint, Aseprite, Blockbench, Bannedstory 3, Pencil and paper, After Effects

[joelswritingmistress]

You Scare Me, Professor: Chapter 34

Summary: The reader is taking graduate classes at a local university in the wooded upstate New York. She is drawn to her professor, Dr. Joel Miller, though she is also inherently aware that he has something dark about him that she can't quite put her finger on. As the reader's attraction grows deeper, she has to decide whether to endure the danger or run away as fast as possible. 

Pairing: Professor Joel Miller x f!reader 

The night ended more lighthearted. Dr. Miller and I took advantage of the frozen lake and the scenery again, skating around and taking pictures of the winter wonderland. We had a few drinks, went out for dinner, and spent most of the night thereafter in the loft. If I had it my way, I wouldn’t have left that little nook in the woods.

“We should rent this place again in the summer,” I said to him. “I bet it’s nice to kayak around.. maybe go fishing.. hike the trails. Oh, and I saw a new, little brewery is supposed to be having its grand opening in May nearby.”

Dr. Miller smiled. “I can book it now for July.”

I loved thinkin about the future, even if it was just a matter of months. For a second I daydreamed images of a tan Dr. Miller by my side, shirtless and glistening in the sun. It made me smirk.

Bidding a temporary farewell to the lakeside cabin was bittersweet, though Dr. Miller already put in a request for the summer before we took off for home.

“The good news is we have another getaway at my sister’s wedding next weekend,” Dr. Miller explained as we hit the highway. “Can you get off work for the rehearsal dinner on Friday? I may cancel Thursday’s class so we can hit the road when you get out of work on Thursday. It’s a pretty good haul up to Vermont.”

I nodded, “Of course. I can’t wait.”

When Tuesday’s class rolled around I decided to confront Trevor on the walk out. His constant stares were starting to bug me and he hadn’t spoken a word to me since the day I’d left Dr. Stevenson’s class to give a sneaky kiss to Dr. Miller in his office. A part of me wanted to ask him what he thought he knew, but I also didn’t want to accidentally rat myself out - or Dr. Miller.

Otherwise, I was very much into the class discussion, and loved how Dr. Miller smiled a certain way when he called on me to answer a question. I loved his class. On a side note, there was a certain level of sneaky amusement I felt from having this secret life with him. No one in the class had even the slightest indication that we lived together, or that we just celebrated Valentine's Day shacked up in a remote, lakeside cabin. There was a part of me that got off on our secret.

“So,” Dr. Miller clapped his hands together. “I'm going to post something for you to read and look over. You'll be able to even discuss points online if you'd like, but Thursday's class will not meet in person. My sister is getting married out of state and I'll be traveling to Vermont on Thursday in preparation for that.”

“Congratulations!” Someone's voice echoed off the walls, making a few others laugh. “To your sister,” the person added, drawing more laughter.

“Thank you,” Dr. Miller responded with a chuckle. “If there are no further questions -”

“Class dismissed,” the group said in unison.

I smiled to myself and stuffed my notebook into my bag. It was always odd to me as I left the classroom. Dr. Miller and I were so affectionate and borderline clingy everywhere else. That's the only part I hated - not being able to be ourselves during that short time frame we had together on campus.

My phone went off and I glanced down, smiling when I saw it was him. 

See you at home.

I glanced toward him and our eyes briefly met as he began packing up his black bag.

And then, as I ducked out into the hallway, Trevor leaned over getting a drink of water. He was one of the only people I ever saw use the water fountain in the building.

I went to call out to him but then decided against it. Why was I about to create a conflict out of nothing? Plus, I reminded myself, he had walked with me to class when I didn't want to walk alone.

I passed by, glancing over at him. Just as he finished getting a drink our eyes met for a brief moment. I looked away and kept walking, using the stairs to get up to the main floor.

Behind me, I heard Trevor clear his throat and then his feet peppered up the stairwell behind me. I yanked open the door to enter the lobby and Trevor’s footsteps came faster.

“Could you hold that, please?” His nasally voice called out.

I sighed to myself but turned around with a half-smile and a nod.

“Thank you.” He hurried to reach for the door and held it so I could go ahead first.

“No problem.” I continued walking and Trevor cleared his throat again as he scurried up beside me.

“Have any plans for the long weekend?” He asked, gripping the straps of his backpack as we wandered toward the main doors.

“Hmm.. I might go visit my parents,” I lied, “But nothing else. You?”

He shrugged. “I may go skiing.”

So am I, I thought, even though I didn't know how. Carol’s wedding. “You ski?”

“Doesn't everyone in the Catskills area?” He snorted a laugh at himself and I smirked.

“Everyone but me.” I smiled back. “I don't know how.”

“I've been skiing since I've been five.”

“Cool.”

“I could always give you lessons. I used to give lessons before I started working for UPS.”

“I didn't know you worked for UPS.”

“For now.” He grinned and followed me out into the parking lot.

I glanced over at him as he continued to trail me out into the parking lot. I felt like he was velcroed to me. He was so close.

“Well, I'll see ya later Trevor.” I reached for the handle on my car as I approached and he cleared his throat again.

What is his deal? I wanted to blurt it out, but I wasn’t the type to be super direct like that. He wasn’t doing anything wrong - just being awkward and slightly annoying.

Trevor raised a hand to wave, almost robotically, as I pulled out of the parking space and edged my way down the rows of cars to exit the campus parking lot. When I was close to a half-a-football field away, I caught a glimpse of him waving his hands wildly in my direction. I wasn’t even sure if he was trying to flag me down, or was summoning someone else. And so, I kept driving. I didn’t see Dr. Miller exit the building.

“What’s the matter?” Dr. Miller approached Trevor when he heard the commotion.

Trevor reached into the pocket of his jacket and stared down at the screen of a cell phone. He eyed the screen, reading a notification as it flashed across.

YOUR STOWE, VT LIFT TICKETS ARE NOW AVAILABLE TO PUT INTO I-WALLET. CLICK THE BANNER TO CONFIRM.

Dr. Miller’s eyes landed on the familiar phone cover. He had the urge to yank it from Trevor’s hand and demand why he had (Y/N)’s phone, but he knew he had to restrain himself.

“Who’s the phone belong to?” Dr. Miller asked, knowing damn well who it belonged to.

“I-I..” Trevor looked down at it again and spoke to himself. “She said she couldn’t ski.” He scratched his head and continued to stare at the screen.

“Trevor.” Dr. Miller closed the gap between the two of them. “Why do you have that phone?”

“One of my friends from class dropped it,” he claimed, “She just drove off. I was trying to flag her down.” Trevor slipped the phone back into his pocket and Dr. Miller extended his hand.

“I’ll turn it in to campus police.”

He kept the phone in his coat. “I can do that.”

“I insist.” Dr. Miller nodded and kept his palm facing up a few inches in front of Trevor. “I’m sticking around here anyway to do a few things.”

Trevor stared up at him, and then looked back down to his hand. He didn’t immediately hand over the phone. “Where did you say your sister’s wedding was?”

CLICK HERE FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER

@untamedheart81 @suttonspuds @cesspitoflove @michilandcof @grogusmum @morallyinept @akah565 @brittmb115 @magpiepills @poodlebae @gobaaby-blog-blog @mermaidgirl30 @mandijo17 @shotgun-shelby @itscatrodriguez-thepearl @macaroni676 @acciowolfstar1 @smolbeanzzz @sarcasm-theotherwhitemeat @bandluvr97

[raithwithwings57]

Stucky first draft pieces

Posting bits of my WIPs that been sitting on my computer for a minute.

“You were fucking gay in the forties? What the hell man, that’s kinda badass,” said Barton.

“Well, I was. I don’t know about Steve. I never dated any men, but I dated a ton of women to cover our tracks. Steve never dated a woman in his life.”

“And nobody found that suspicious?”

“Well it’s not as if any women actually liked Steve. I would know, I set him up on about a million fake dates.” Bucky sighed, and he knew it had a wistful note to it. “If I had survived the war and come back home, I’d have told him I was in love with him, the dangers of it be damned. After everything I saw in the war, I think one of the things that I learned is that there’s nothing as precious your home and the people you care about. I could have made it happen. We’d have found a lesbian couple and married them, to keep up appearances, and then all lived together. We could have done it, even back in the forties. But I never came back home, and he must be long dead by now.” Bucky shrugged, in what he hoped was a noncommittal fashion. “Now I don’t even think anything of his exists anymore. I couldn’t even find a single drawing that he ever made. Guess tiny little asthmatic Steve wasn’t important enough to be remembered by anybody but me.”

Stark’s face took on an odd look to it. “What was his name?”

“Steve, that’s what I said.”

“No, his whole name you dummy. I might could find something done by him. Maybe even find out what happened to him. Give you some closure.”

Bucky stared at him open mouthed. When he spoke his voice was oddly small. “You’d do that. For me?”

[wingfril]

My newest shipment just arrived so let’s talk about some (recent) lottery-only items! The picture above is from the most recent d.grayman playing card drawing, which you could’ve entered by subbing to zebrack comics.

They’re really pretty! I don’t know if it was worth $350 dollars though. There’s only 2 types of illustrations plus the card back and spades,

Funny thing about the prices — I’m pretty sure I’m the reason why the floor for this is 350 on mercari. When the drawing results come out, several people started selling the cards on mercari. I knew I wanted something that’s super exclusive like this, so I started paying attention. There were three sellers in particular competition against each other. over a span of around 2-3 days, the price dropped from ~100k yen down to 59k yen. Keep in mind that these drops were mostly happening while I was asleep being on the east coast. My ideal price would’ve been around 200 usd or ~30k yen, but I’m willing to pay more. Right before going to bed, I saw that the price has fallen to below 60k, and said screw it. Next morning, I woke up, and the main price competitor’s cards were also sold, and a few days later the third person, with a slightly higher price, also ended up selling. Since the price decreases happen primarily while I was asleep, and I knew that as soon as one sells, the other is going to get bought up too, might as well pay a little extra. I’m also 99% sure that at least 2/3 of the other sets on mercari was bought by chinese people, since I see their posts on chinese social media.

To be honest though, if I knew that there’s only two new drawings on these cards, I probably would’ve waited a bit longer before buying them. Oh well.

The other lottery item I had is from the vol 28 drawing.

They’re B5 sized manuscript replicas. They’re stunning — you can see so many details on these. Every stroke on neah/mana’s hair is clear as day. I’d like to frame them but *screams in nyc and paper walls*.

The other drawing item is a acrylic board of the vol 28 cover.

I’m still debating on buying that off of mercari. I think I will once the yen drops a little more, but we’ll see. I wouldn’t lose sleep over not getting it.

As a side note unrelated to dgm: the reason why I’m buying so much recently is 1. I realized that a few thousand literally makes no difference to me and my house owning goals (I LOVE NYC) and 2. The yen is incredibly cheap right now. Even though some Japanese collectors are price gauging, some of the items are not too much more expense than their originals price (there’s a few absurd outliers, which I’ll covered in two months… because I paid for some of the outliers and now they have to be shipped from China).

The Japanese fed has spent billions on trying to stabilize the currency, but to no avail. it’s really bad for any Japanese companies doing import, but it’s really really good for usd based consumers. As long as the US federal reserve and their interest rate remains high (and a bunch of other factors), yen is going to continue getting crushed against the dollar. There’s some items I’m eyeing on that I’ll probably only buy if the yen drops to at least 1:160 against the dollar. If you zoom into the last month of usd:yen, you can literally see when the Japanese fed intervened.

[astral-mariner]

Exclusive Homeworld Lost Preview

A preview from a later section of my fic (Part 1 of 12 posted here)! This chapter from Part 9 gives a lot of the flavor of some of the relationships in Homeworld Lost without too many spoilers. It contains a rather surprising Cui/Raditz sex scene with many narrative and character moments.

A little context: This is the first chapter of Part 9. At the end of Part 8, Vegeta and Raditz had an extremely bitter fight. Vegeta vowed that Raditz would eventually die by his hand. Part 9 catches up with the characters a couple years of space travel after this fight has taken place. We get an impression of how their relationship has been in the meantime. Raditz is in his late 20s here, and Vegeta is right around 20 (Earth years). Cui, envious of Freeza's "favoritism" of the saiyans, has spent years tormenting Raditz with the aim of humiliating Vegeta.

Rating: Explicit (sexual content and dark themes)

Relationships: Cui/Raditz & Vegeta/Raditz

Content Warnings and Tags: angst, references to alcoholism/addiction, abusive relationships, jealousy, sadism/masochism, humiliation, degradation, slut shaming, anal fingering, ass-to-mouth

***********************************

Part 9: Between the Stars

Chapter 1: Marks

“I don’t remember giving you this one.”

I reached for my discarded bodysuit as Cui’s fingers traced the outline of a dark bruise at the center of my chest.

“Hm, was it Vegeta who did that to you?” he asked. He applied a bit of pressure. “Looks like it still hurts…”

I slipped my shirt on so the mark couldn’t draw his attention anymore. “Just training,” I answered.

“Does he know where you are right now?” He brushed a stray lock of hair away from my face and smoothed it against the tousled mess his play had left. “Does he know about us?”

Turning away, I stood up from the hired bed. “He doesn’t care if I live or die. But he’d kill you if he knew.”

Cui chuckled to himself. “That doesn’t sound like he doesn’t care.”

“You should leave the station. I know you’ve got another planet to clean up before Sytrus. We’ll be here a little longer.” I retrieved my boots and scouter from the corner of the small room. “He really will kill you if he finds out you’re here.”

He pointed at the scouter. “Read my power level.”

I did. Roughly equal to Vegeta’s, but Cui didn’t need to know this. The prince had made considerable progress since Arcos in spite of everything. Though I hadn’t been able to catch Zarbon unaccompanied, he’d delivered Vegeta back to our quarters himself after I’d woken up alone in the medical wing. He would’ve seen evidence on his scouter if something had gone awry with Vegeta’s energy, and he may have investigated without my prompting. I could only pray that this had happened, and I couldn’t dare ask the prince to contradict it. Whatever the case, when Vegeta joined us, answering our looks with well-versed silence, he was as strong as he’d ever been.

“See?” Cui scoffed. “Last I saw the little saiyan prince in the flesh, his power level was under one thousand. Even if he’s recovered from his…accident by now, there’s no way he’s anywhere close to me.”

“Still.” Now I reached for my armor.

Cui caught hold of my arm before I could pull it over my head. “No,” he said. “The boots and scouter—leave them. You want to stay for a while.”

In truth, I did not. Cui’s crew received cleansing assignments from Zarbon and Dodoria, and there was a small chance I might hear something of their travels or whereabouts. Cui himself could believe whatever he wished about why I’d sought his company. “Not too long, though,” I told him, setting the armor back down against the wall. “You know I’ll be punished.”

“Mm, but you like to be punished, don’t you?” Scaled arms encircled my waist, the gesture almost familiar and saiyan. Cui had learned much despite the infrequency of our trysts. With my suit now protecting my bare chest from his, I could almost forget that cold clamminess against my skin. “Were all of your kind like that, or is it just you?” he asked.

“Couldn’t tell you.”

“But you don’t deny it.” He nudged me back towards the bed till I sat.

Instead of towering over him, now I looked up into his face.

“And neither does your body. How that…thing”—he grimaced—“between your legs swells after pain has left you weak, and I’ve stretched you too far…”

I shivered, and my stomach turned. “Don’t see what you get out of it.”

“I suppose there isn’t a physical component for me like there is for you.” He grasped my chin and tilted my head back so my mouth could receive his. “But surely you saiyans understand the pleasure of finding your enemy’s weakness?” Now that slimy tongue forced my lips apart, slithered between my teeth to taste me from the inside.

“Thought we had an arrangement,” I got out.

“I stopped paying you years ago.” Small, serrated fangs scraped my lower lip. “You and I aren’t enemies anymore, no. You come because you’re lonely.” He let go of my chin only to tangle his hands in my hair, cradling and caressing me as he kissed me again. “Must be dreadful to be a creature that needs someone else… So lonely that you’ll do anything, tell me anything.”

I pulled my legs up onto the bed and backed away, putting some distance between us. “Vegeta would’ve never been your enemy if you hadn’t…”

“No.” He crawled into the bed after me. “I did what I did because he was my enemy already. Lording over all of us, stealing Lord Freeza’s attention… He never did anything to deserve his rank. Just another one of you disgusting monkeys.” Cui’s hand strayed down my chest and abdomen, then between my thighs. He licked his lips when he found me half-hard. “How wretched. No matter how strong you can be on the battlefield, you lower lifeforms languish without such base things as this. Don’t know what Freeza sees in you.”

“W-what makes you think Freeza’s attention is something to be desired?”

“As stupid as you are vulgar.” His fingers crept beneath my waistband so he could tease and toy with me. Bending and rolling me between his thumb and forefinger while I was still soft enough for it. “I’m sure you’ve never actually listened to your superiors. If you did, you’d know that the Planet Trade will make this galaxy a different place. Maybe it doesn’t matter to you, since you’re the last of your kind, and your lifespans are so short. But Lord Freeza will rid the universe of vermin like you. He’ll sell planets to those more worthy. In the end, only people like him and myself will remain, and then I will be prince of an empire greater than any monkey could imagine.”

My hand joined his, and though he could overpower me easily, I moved to still it. “It’s less that I haven’t listened and more that you’re just hearing what you want to hear, Cui.” Our fingers intertwined. “If he tortured you, you wouldn’t want to be Freeza’s favorite anymore—fuck—!”

Retaliating, he’d pinched that most sensitive spot under the head of my cock so sharply that I was certain he’d drawn blood, torn the delicate skin. “Lord Freeza does you a kindness”—soothing with light touches that did little more than draw more attention to the echoing pain—“with how you creatures crave to be destroyed. Tell me I’m wrong.”

“If you really want to be Freeza’s favorite,” I answered when I could, “then I hope he notices you. Truly—anything you want. Vegeta and I never meant to deny you anything.”

A nibble at my neck, the sting acute enough to detract from that between my legs, but gentle enough to send a shiver down my spine that was almost pleasant. “You’re always so thoughtful after you get what you want.”

When Cui’s fist circled me to stroke properly, I knew I’d found my chance. “We…I can see you again… If you tell me where Zarbon’s sending you. You aren’t meeting with him, are you? Know it’s dangerous—but I’ll do it. For you.”

“Mm.” He pulled me free from my leggings. “I’ll consider it.”

Obliging him, I removed the shirt I’d used to hide my scars and bruises from his view. Tracing them while his eyes followed, my fingers whispered across my chest till my fur bristled and my nipples stood erect. I met his gaze as I took up rubbing them, tugging and pressing them for him to watch while my cock hardened in his hand.

“I might tell you if you’re good,” Cui purred. “Now tell me something. Does Vegeta do this for you too after he hurts you?”

I arched my neck for him as he leaned in to suck at a conspicuous row of four purple marks. “No,” I answered. “I’m not what he wants.”

“Such a pity…” He stroked a little faster, tightened his grip just enough. How closely he’d observed that first time, forcing me to pleasure myself lest I subject myself to something more painful and humiliating.

“He never touches me like this.”

“Because he imagines himself better than you?” He paused to spread the wetness weeping from my tip over the head of my cock, thumbing firmly and leaving my toes and tail curling at the overstimulation. “But I know the truth. He’s just as filthy of an animal as you are.” Stroking me again while he spoke softly next to my ear. “A simple, battered creature that’s known nothing but suffering as long as it’s drawn breath. Even before your planet was destroyed.”

He kissed me, long and, if I didn’t know better, tenderly. “That night long ago now… When nothing I did brought a single tear to your eye…even after you were screaming and bleeding and begging me to stop. After I grew tired of it, and I held you to my chest, only then did you break down and tell me all about what that wicked lady did to you.”

“Cui…don’t.”

“But you’re not struggling, Raditz.” Another kiss. “You love to suffer now. A beast whose lowly appetites were never fed anything but misery, and you’ve learned to survive on it. Tell me I’m wrong.”

But he gave me no chance to reply. Instead, his free hand seized my jaw, and he shoved two fingers through my lips and to the back of my throat till I gagged and spat up onto my chin.

“Don’t bite—you said you’d be good.” He pressed down hard on my tongue, massaging, making my stomach turn and my mouth water involuntarily. “Yes, I am meeting with Zarbon, actually, so you’ll have to be very careful indeed.”

Once he withdrew, he let go of my cock to tug on my waistband. Then he ordered, “Pull these down and spread your legs.”

I did.

“Such a well-trained monkey.” The pads of those two slicked fingers pressed and swirled around my puckered hole like the flat of an unnaturally cool tongue. “Look at you—so loose and ready for me no matter what you say. Even after everything I’ve done to you. Raped you, beaten you, shamed and disgraced you for all of the Planet Trade to witness. Still you beg to see me. Risk your life.”

My breath hitched as he nudged his fingers inside me. Deftly, he curled them upwards and pushed against my sweet spot rhythmically while his other hand returned to work my cock. “Where, though, Cui? Please…”

He ignored me. “So lonely… Ever since you came back from Fuenghi. Sad looks, long sighs. Your prince is a man now, isn’t he? And you’ve loved him longer than that. Because he hurts you like no one ever has. Tell me I’m wrong.”

“Don’t—don’t want to think about him. Just you.” I rolled my hips into his caresses, curled my tail around his wrist.

“Very good.” He rewarded me by rightly fucking me with his fingers, hitting that spot behind my balls again and again till my muscles quivered and clenched, and whimpers escaped unbidden from my mouth.

Unaffected by my unraveling, he continued evenly, “There’s another famous pleasure house along the route to Sytrus. You know how Zarbon likes to collect his slaves. Visit me there. There will be enough depravity going on that no one will notice a little more.”

I bit my lip to contain a moan and nodded. I’d gotten what I needed; Cui could think that he’d won, and it wouldn’t matter. I let my eyes roll back, and instead of Cui, I slipped and imagined Vegeta fucking me, those narrow, strong hands around my neck instead of my own broad ones.

“So filthy—won’t even reach your release without strangling yourself like he does,” Cui muttered. “Broken little slut of a monkey. You like hearing what you are, don’t you? A desperate, whimpering whore who loves to be abused.”

My hands flew to clutch the bed beneath me, and I gasped sharply as Cui fucked me hard through the first spasms of coming. Blood rushing back to my face and air to my lungs, I floated above my body, weightless and high. I couldn’t hear or cringe at the pathetic sounds he wrung from me till it was too late, and it was already over, and I was shivering and groaning while he continued to fuck me mercilessly despite freeing my cock from his grasp.

He chuckled darkly to himself after he withdrew. “I’m not even one of you, but I know I do it better than Vegeta ever would. All he knows how to do is kill them. He doesn’t listen to you like I do. And he doesn’t touch you like I do either. So you say.” He leaned over me and pressed his hand to my lips, fingers wet and scented with my own come. “Clean me up,” he demanded.

Mindlessly, I licked him clean, swallowed myself down. I already felt my heart sinking. I shouldn’t have come so hard by his hand, hearing such venomous lies.

“Now the other.”

A different scent. I cringed away automatically.

“Oh? You don’t like this?”

Perhaps he didn’t understand. To him, each part of my body he had condescended to touch was no different than the other. Primitive organs of elimination.

His amphibious face didn’t often contort into expressions I recognized outright, but the one he wore now I couldn’t mistake for anything but malicious glee. “I haven’t given you my actual schedule, you know. If you aren’t good, I’ll have no reason to give it to you. So lonesome without me…”

I gritted my teeth and bit back every fuck you that rose to my lips. Maybe he knew, and he just didn’t care. Either way, I had no choice. The prince’s life could depend on it, my warning Zarbon. Holding my breath, I opened my mouth and sucked on his fingers till he was satisfied.

“See? Even the mighty saiyan can be tamed.” He took me in his arms then, and he ran those wretched fingers through my hair. “Here, Raditz, I’ll hold you as long as you need. Anything you want, you can tell me. I’ll show you the coordinates, and you can comfort yourself that you’ll see me again soon.”

In spite of everything, the tingling caresses along my scalp did help to distract me, and I let them. As long as I saw Zarbon, I wouldn’t have to see Cui again.

A scouter’s alert. The brief flash of green light told me it was mine.

“You were very good. I’ll get it for you,” Cui said. He stood and retrieved it, then offered it to me without bothering to look into whatever had appeared in the glass.

I didn’t look closely either. It didn’t matter. It was the perfect excuse. “I have to go,” I told Cui.

“Will you miss me?”

“I’ll come to see you,” I lied as I fixed my clothes, got up, and shuffled into my boots and armor. My heart pounded in my throat, and that familiar emptiness widened within me. It always happened after I spent such time with Cui; even he had noticed, always probing my weaknesses, and he would stay to soothe me if only to catch whatever more of myself I spilled.

“I’ve grown fond of you, I admit.” he said before I could escape into the corridor. “I will miss you.”

“Fucking gods,” I cursed once the door had shut, and I was alone. I hurried for a decontamination chamber. Vegeta would have no mercy for me if was already back at our rented rooms, and I hadn’t yet washed, and he found out what I’d done.

I paid the meager sum, stepped inside, and tried not to inhale the harsh chemicals before they were sucked out into space. I only checked my scouter’s alert once I’d already left and made it halfway across the station.

It was from Nappa. Cui is aboard the station. The prince is looking for you, it read simply.

“Fucking gods,” I cursed again. I prayed that I’d reach the rooms before he did, and I hastened to ensure it.

And by the grace of those same gods I frequently cursed, only Nappa was there when I arrived. “I saw your message,” I told him between breaths. “I don’t know about Cui. I didn’t see him. I just went for a drink and took my scouter off.”

“You really shouldn’t drink as much as you do,” he admonished after staring me down. I had never given him many reasons to trust me.

“I know. It’s just…”

“Difficult,” he finished for me.

“Yes, it’s just so fucking hard.” I removed the scouter from my face, folded it, and tossed it into an open compartment. “Why is everything so fucking hard?”

Nappa shook his head. Only then did I notice the half-empty container of dark liquid in front of him. “I have more dreams when I drink,” he said.

I sat down beside him, nudged the container away. “You’d better hide that. Vegeta won’t like it.”

Another solemn nod.

“I’m going to get myself out of this armor. Wash up. Take care of yourself, Nappa.” I squeezed his shoulder before I turned and left him. He’d never spoken much, but he spoke even less after we left Arcos and those seasons of torture behind.

I couldn’t say how long I spent scrubbing Cui’s ichthyian mucus out of my skin, how many times I rinsed out my mouth. But the crash of shattered glass against a wall snapped me out of it. I stepped out of the washroom and stumbled to find new clothes while Vegeta’s low threats loomed closer.

“Where is Raditz?”  he snarled.

A pause.

“He’s here?”

Another silent pause.

I pressed my bare back against the cold wall, hoping it could bear my weight if my knees could not.

“Get out. And don’t dare bring anything back with you but your scouter and the suit you’re wearing.”

Nappa must not have moved after I’d left, and the crash I’d heard had an easy explanation.

A moment later, the click of a door broke the rhythm of pacing boots. More pacing, then it stopped after growing louder, nearer the sleeping quarters I’d shut myself in.

Hesitating.

I kept my eyes shut, my back pressed to the wall.

A click, then more steps. So close now that I could feel his presence, hear the nearly imperceptible hiss of breath through parted teeth. Then the whispered warmth of its ghost whisked against my chest. He stood just in front of me, and I had nowhere to run.

I looked at him.

Our gazes, however, did not meet. Vegeta’s ran over my body. Scars and marks he recognized, new ones and old. Though some of them he did not recognize, and these he lingered on.

“Vegeta, I—”

He smothered whatever I had to say into a kiss. Hard, each gloved hand clutching my face between them, as he, in all his strength, pinned me against the wall. Bruising, desperate. When he broke away only to pant open-mouthed over my lips, we tasted our scents mingled rich between us.

“Listen—” he began, but he couldn’t stand to continue, and he sank into another kiss instead. A muffled groan hummed behind his lips as he dragged his hands from my face down my naked chest. If only he didn’t insist on wearing those damned gloves.

“Listen,” he began again, and this time, he didn’t try to keep himself from kissing me. Rather, he leaned into my neck, and between words, he gave in and brushed his lips and tongue against my pulse. “You—you belong to me. Hear me? You…are mine.”

“I’m yours,” I answered without a second thought. My knees went weak as if he’d captured my tail and wrung it in his ruthless grip.

“Mine.” Though even as he uttered this, he pulled himself back from me. Whatever anger I’d dreaded before, yet missed, he wore now.

“I—”

“Dress yourself, take your scouter, and get out.”

“Please…”

“You heard me. Leave, and don’t come back until you’ve been called.”

“But I have to—”

“Leave. Now.”

I could do nothing but rush to find my boots, then the clean shirt I’d laid out. I didn’t have time to take the armor.

“And don’t you fucking dare forget what I told you.”

“I-I won’t,” I promised before I obeyed and left him.

[flash-the-readies]

Calling my younger self out for all the embarrassing things they thought/did when I first started getting into Pink Floyd (I just think I was endearing albeit annoying)

Initially confused them with LED Zeppelin because for some reason my brain put them on a similar tier

Went to watch the Pulse tour DVD … promptly realised it was post-Waters, cried, shut it off immediately, and haven’t seen it since (I actually own a DVD and a VHS tape of the film…both of which were gifts actually)

Saw that Live at Pompeii gif of Roger blowing the smoke rings and just stared at it for a long while promptly falling in love

Didn’t know the Wall was a double album and just assumed the second disc was demos so I never listened to it and would only listen to half the album. Eventually I decided to play the second disc and realised how stupid I was (In the Flesh confused me)

Had an entire wall in my room dedicated to The Wall (I painted out the brick design and had these posters)

Didn’t really care much for the WYWH album (and now it’s my favourite Pink Floyd album..)

FUCKING GAVE AWAY THE IN THE PINK NICK SEDGWICK BOOK BECAUSE I WAS GOING THROUGH SOME SHIT AND ROGER WAS MAKING ME FEEL GUILTY AND HORRIBLE

Would listen to the Wall at least once a day for months on end especially while sitting alone at lunch

Used the fact that my mum desperately wanted me to make friends to go to a Roger Waters concert with this boy who had a crush on me and then promptly started trying to convert me to Catholicism once he found out I’m atheist, bisexual, and non-binary. Roger Played the Gunner’s Dream for the encore so no regrets there

Had a long and unhealthy obsession with The Final Cut and would play my LP of it at least once a day

Read something about Roger calling the rest of the band “the muffins” and promptly dubbed David “greasy muffin”…and got the rest of my online friends to join in

Wrote endless HCs with a friend about Watershend (Roger Waters x Pete Townshend)… I stand by this one. Sorry

Did a 10 minute presentation on the Wall for a history class when I was…14

Called in sick to school even though my teachers knew I was going to watch Roger Waters in concert

Found a copy of Rick Wright’s Wet Dream on vinyl at a market… had no cash in the moment … asked my friend if they could give me cash and then I’d pay them back later… my friend agreed thinking it was for food (I wasn’t trying to deceive them I promise I just didn’t communicate what that money was for as clearly as I thought I did… but I did pay them back plus a bit extra!) I did get my record tho

Went to Battersea Station…. DIDN’T REALISE IT WAS A FUCKING SHOPPING MALL ON THE INSIDE BECAUSE I FAILED TO DO MY RESEARCH AND DIDN’T EVEN ATTEMPT TO GO INSIDE BECAUSE I AM AWKWARD AS HELL… so instead I opted to awkwardly stand around the outside and check out the nearby shops (this is recent ;-;)

I used to draw and would just fill my notebook up with drawing of Pink Floyd (mostly just Roger…)

I am just now remembering how much of my fanart was nose-centric

You know that common trans experience of “trying desperately to live as your assigned gender one last time so you overcompensate before you come out”… well that overlapped with my “ukulele and Syd Barrett let’s dress psychedelic” phase

Have bought way too many pieces of clothing because they remind me of something Roger wore once (I think I’ll make this into it’s own post perhaps)

That’s all I can remember for now. Just feeling nostalgic. I could make a second part of all the most recent cringe shit I’ve done. I’m not laughing at myself I’m laughing with myself. Honestly my younger self was iconic, gotta love her

[o0o0thorn0o0o]

I be back.

Images by themselves below the cut because I spent way too much time on them + text because I’ve been gone for a while—‘course I got a lotta say.

It’s certainly been a while, eh? I did this last cour, too, and I swear to God if I do this for the next cour… Worst part is, I haven’t even watched it yet this time, rip :,) Will definitely do sometime later today, for sure, for sure.

So, I meant to get this done for IchiHime week (and look at how that turned out, haha), but not only was July a month full of pleasure, but it was also full of pain work. I was bordering a D for Orgo, so I spent a good portion prioritizing that—and it wasn’t for naught! Not only did I pass, but I went from a C- to a B! A freaking B, not even a B-!!! I’m still so shocked… I also ended up with over a 100 for lab, but I honestly kinda expected that. I’m just so glad I graduated without failing Orgo 2. Was infinitely better than Orgo 1, but goodbye, will never see you again. If I ever do, it’ll be too soon… Had hella good professors, though. That, I will say.

I go from ranting about Orgo to raving, even though it’s almost been a month… Oops ^^” The grade just still makes me so giddy, haha. Anyway, been mainly prioritizing drawing this (plus a part two to this, which I do have done as well, but I will be posting that sometime later today), though I did spend a good portion of the first half of this month rebooting my personal writing club. Enough about where I’ve been—let’s talk about the piece, shall we?

So, this was originally just an art idea I knew I wanted to do later, and when I saw what the first prompt was, it automatically came to the forefront of my mind. That, plus with the idea I eventually got for the second prompt, I really just had to. I actually probably could’ve gotten this done in a more reasonable time, but, see, when things are just an idea, I don’t put too, too much thought into them—only enough to consider them neat or substantial or something.

When it actually came to it, I found myself at a dilemma of just how faithful I wanted to stick with Orihime’s confession. Originally, I thought about incorporating the five specific things she mentioned into different past lives, but then I realized the timelines wouldn’t really make sense with what I was going for, especially considering Soul Society and stuff, which I had not thought about. So I kinda had to choose between previous lives or parallel lives. I initially went with the latter, but… idk, last minute, like the week of, I decided after checking the prompt list one more time that, nah, I definitely wanted previous lives. So, uh… yeah… I might still end up making a parallel lives version of this in the future, ‘cause I did like those ideas, too. We’ll see.

Anyway, I did try to make them at least somewhat reminiscent of the five things: Orihime and Hikoboshi are related to the astronaut thing ‘cause of space and stars and stuff. Heian Period IchiHime, well, it’s a bit of stretch, but I couldn’t really fit donuts in here since the timeline between them and the introduction of ice cream and the current timeline would’ve made one/two of these lives tragically short without even factoring in Soul Society—nothing wrong with tragedy, but not for this post, haha. So I went with small Chinese cakes ‘cause they’re a sweet? And they’d definitely be a very rare and special treat, so… idk.

Shinigami IchiHime’s also a bit of a stretch? You’d think I’d have the easiest time with being a teacher sometime in history, but I ended up sticking it here, and I was adamant I wanted to draw them in their academy days. So, you’ve got Orihime teaching Ichigo some kido techniques or something, idk. Maybe there’s also a kido equivalent to the dummy Hollow thing? And Orihime has a similar/equivalent position to Shuuhei for that? Idk, am just spitballing here to justify myself even though I know I don’t have to.

Then finally, we got Edo Period IchiHime, with Ichigo introducing ice cream to Orihime for the first time ever. And then of course, I shouldn’t have to explain the last one, haha.

Oh, God, I have so much to catch up on… which I will do later. And hey, since my scheduled posts are all up, I guess I’ll just use my queue to reblog posts I’ve missed since Ik I definitely will be reblogging a lot—don’t wanna bombard you with a ton of posts, aha. I will be making them daily instead of weekly, though, so that I’m not stashing them for too long. Starting tomorrow.

[jennyboom21]

In 2023 actor Sophia Bush made headlines when she filed for divorce one year after a storybook wedding. By the fall it was public knowledge that she was in a new relationship. With a woman. The internet seemed to be foaming at the digital mouth for a scandal, but to those who knew her, it was clear she’d never been more herself. Here, in her own words, Bush speaks to the power of finally learning to listen to her intuition.

In April of 2022 I was close to calling off my wedding. Instead of running away, I doubled down on being a model wife. In 2023 my now ex-husband posted a lovely tribute to our first anniversary on Instagram. When I saw it, I felt the blood drain from my face. Fans and friends were telling me how exciting this milestone was and how happy I looked. I felt nothing. Things hadn’t been easy at home, but everyone says marriage is hard, right? As the day wore on, I felt mounting pressure from strangers online waiting for me to post something—what a strange part of public life to have to navigate—so I sat myself down and chose a picture.

It was a black-and-white photograph of us running away from the camera. Yes, I see the bittersweet irony now. I wrote a really nice story about the people in that picture. Except it was just that: a story. I typed something about how incredibly happy I was and tried to drown out the familiar voice in my head. Make it look easy. Make it look perfect. If your smile is shiny enough, maybe no one will notice that up close all of your teeth are broken. But sometimes broken is just broken.

I hit post. And then I walked into the bathroom and threw up.

I believe in people and ideas so deeply—and those feelings are often so powerful to me—that I hadn’t realized I’d spent the last two decades moving through life showing up for others but often turning my back on myself. This time things felt different. Maybe it’s just cold feet, I told myself. Maybe I was too sensitive. Maybe this was the feeling you get when you settle down later in life and have to make space for another person. There have been moments in my life when it feels like the universe is screaming at me to pay attention. This was one of them, but I didn’t listen.

I kept repeating the adages we all know so well: Relationships are hard. Marriage takes compromise. You know the rest. And so I got married. We threw one of the greatest wedding weekends ever. We had an amazing time with our closest friends and family. It was truly one of the best parties I’ve ever been to, and we raised a ton of money for charity. I don’t regret any of that.

But after the wedding I found myself in the depths and heartbreak of the fertility process, which was the most clarifying experience of my life. It feels like society is finally making space for brutally honest conversations about how hard and painful any fertility journey is, but I kept mine private. I was trying to get through months of endless ultrasounds, hormone shots, so many blood draws that I have scar tissue in my veins, and retrieval after retrieval, while simultaneously realizing the person I had chosen to be my partner didn’t necessarily speak the same emotional language I did.

As I lost track of how many examination tables I had lain on alone, I felt something in me seismically shift. Six months into that journey, I think I knew deep down that I absolutely had made a mistake. It would take my head and heart a while longer to understand what my bones already knew.

And that’s why, when I got an opportunity to do a play in London, I had to go. I had to get out of our house. I had to get onstage. I had to get back in my body. Maybe that could shift things. Maybe that would jump-start the joy I’d been chasing. The play slowly began to put me back together. It was grueling, and it was also the most exhilarating experience. I loved every second of it.

But the book doesn’t lie. The body does, in fact, keep the score. When half of our company went down with a virus, everyone recovered fast except for me. I continued to decline. I would put every fiber of my being into my performance onstage, and then be packed in bags of ice as soon as the curtain closed. I spent multiple nights in the hospital, I was pumped with endless amounts of fluids, I underwent cardiac testing and organ monitoring. It was clear that my body was screaming and I had to listen. It was hard for me to accept. I was part of a team. But I needed to go home, where my doctors (and, truthfully, my health insurance) could get a better handle on my symptoms. My time in London was over. So was my marriage. It all came crashing down at once.

During the summer of 2023, I moved back into my empty home in LA. I was separated and preparing to file for divorce, and groups of women in my life started opening up about issues they were going through in their own homes. It seemed like every week there were more of us, including [former US soccer player] Ashlyn [Harris], whom I’d first met in 2019 and who was in the process of figuring out her own split from her wife. She’d been such a kind ear for those of us who opened up about our problems during a shared weekend of speaking engagements at a fancy conference in Cannes, and soon it became clear that she needed our ears too.

For those of us who had no solution in sight or Hail Marys left, having this community changed everything. We really wrapped one another up in support. It was tragic and hard. But it was also beautiful. There were moments of incredible sadness because no one signs up to get married thinking it’ll end. The days when we knew people needed to laugh, we sent inspirational memes and silly TikToks. We read books written by great therapists and shared emo quotes from poets. Our “Begin Again” Amazon shopping list, which we created for the ones moving out and starting over, has now been forwarded to so many other women.

I didn’t expect to find love in this support system. I don’t know how else to say it other than: I didn’t see it until I saw it. And I think it’s very easy not to see something that’s been in front of your face for a long time when you’d never looked at it as an option and you had never been looked at as an option. What I saw was a friend with her big, happy life. And now I know she thought the same thing about me.

It really took other people in our safe support bubble pointing out to me how we’d finish each other’s sentences or be deeply affected by the same things. When you’re so in the trenches of hardship—plus you have the added weight of having to go through it on a public stage—it can be hard to see anything but what’s right in front of you.

It took me confronting a lot of things, what felt like countless sessions of therapy, and some prodding from loved ones, but eventually I asked Ashlyn to have a non-friend-group hang to talk about it.

And that meal was four and a half hours long and truly one of the most surreal experiences of my life thus far. In hindsight, maybe it all had to happen slowly and then suddenly all at once. Maybe it was all fated. Maybe it really is a version of invisible string theory. I don’t really know. But I do know that for a sparkly moment I felt like maybe the universe had been conspiring for me. And that feeling that I have in my bones is one I’ll hold on to no matter where things go from here.

But there was a lot that quickly turned ugly too. People looking in from the outside weren’t privy to just how much time it took, how many painful conversations were had. A lot of effort was made to be graceful with other people’s processing, their time and obligations, and their feelings. What felt like seconds after I started to see what was in front of me, the online rumor mill began to spit in the ugliest ways. There were blatant lies. Violent threats. There were accusations of being a home-wrecker. The ones who said I’d left my ex because I suddenly realized I wanted to be with women—my partners have known what I’m into for as long as I have (so that’s not it, y’all, sorry!).

The idea that I left my marriage based on some hysterical rendezvous—that, to be crystal-clear, never happened—rather than having taken over a year to do the most soul crushing work of my life? Rather than realizing I had to be the most vulnerable I’ve ever been, on a public stage, despite being terrified to my core? It feels brutal. Just because I didn’t want to process my realizations in real time on social media and spell them out for the world doesn’t mean the journey wasn’t long and thoughtful and exhaustive.

It’s painful to be doing deep work and have it picked apart by clueless strangers. Everyone that matters to me knows what’s true and what isn’t. But even still there’s a part of me that’s a ferocious defender, who wants to correct the record piece by piece. But my better self, with her earned patience, has to sit back and ask, What’s the fucking point? For who? For internet trolls? No, thank you. I’ll spend my precious time doing things I love instead.

I don’t believe it’s my place to discuss details of Ashlyn’s circumstances or her children, but I will say that I am absolutely in awe of her relentless integrity. The way she prioritizes and centers her kids, not only in her life but in the core of her being, is breathtaking to behold. Falling in love with her has sutured some of my own childhood wounds, and made me so much closer to my own mother. Seeing Ashlyn choose to not simply survive, but thrive, for her babies has been the most beautiful thing I’ve ever witnessed a friend do. And now I get to love her. How lucky am I?

I sort of hate the notion of having to come out in 2024. But I’m deeply aware that we are having this conversation in a year when we’re seeing the most aggressive attacks on the LGBTQIA+ community in modern history. There were more than 500 anti-LGBTQIA+ bills proposed in state legislatures in 2023, so for that reason I want to give the act of coming out the respect and honor it deserves. I’ve experienced so much safety, respect, and love in the queer community, as an ally all of my life, that, as I came into myself, I already felt it was my home. I think I’ve always known that my sexuality exists on a spectrum. Right now I think the word that best defines it is queer. I can’t say it without smiling, actually. And that feels pretty great.

Would I have liked to make the public part of this journey a choice for myself, and not have it taken from my lips and set ablaze by gossip blogs and bottom-feeder online bots? Of course. I’m very aware, though, as we discuss bullying and harassment and being outed without consent—that I’m incredibly lucky this happened in my adulthood. I really love who I am, at this age and in this moment. I’m so lucky that my parents, having spent time with Ash over the holidays, said, “Well, this finally looks right.” I know it could have gone differently.

We’ve all learned about kids who have taken their own life after being outed or who have been killed simply for being who they are in a place or time that is threatened by their expressed joy. I am so lucky to be here, now. I have real joy. It took me 41 years to get here. And while I marvel at it, I will also make space for people’s pain. But I will not carry anyone’s projected shame. When I take stock of the last few years, I can tell you that I have never operated out of more integrity in my life. I hope that’s clear enough for everyone speculating out there, while being as gentle as I possibly can be.

After the news became public, my mom told me that one of her friends called her and said, “Well, this can’t be true. I mean, your daughter isn’t gay.” My mom felt that it was obvious, from the way her friend emphasized the word, that she meant it judgmentally. And you know what my mom said? “Oh honey, I think she’s pretty gay. And she’s happy.”

I finally feel like I can breathe. I don't think I can explain how profound that is. I feel like I was wearing a weighted vest for who knows how long. I hadn’t realized how heavy it was until I finally just put it down. This might sound crazy—but I think other people in trauma recovery will get it—I am taking deep breaths again. I can feel my legs and feet. I can feel my feet in my shoes right now. It makes me want to cry and laugh at the same time.

It is so, so scary to do the brave thing, to say, “I’m just not happy.” Especially if you’re in a partnership and you have to say it first. But if you do it, you get the chance to be happy. To find your joy. I turned 41 last summer, amid all of this, and I heard the words I was saying to my best friend as they came out of my mouth. “I feel like this is my first birthday,” I told her. This year was my very first birthday.

[oldiesstationlover11607]

🎶Hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my ragtime gal🎶

Hey dude! It’s me. 💛. Your (self proclaimed) number one fan. So, I really loved the Spooky Jim story and its sequel. I can only imagine it was a hard character and stuff to write for because honestly we don’t know a whole lot about him (#justiceforJosh’slorecharacters), but you still managed to hit it out of the park, just like always.

So, I am actually going to shake it up…I will not be requesting TØP (*gasp*). Don’t get me wrong, I have ideas and I LOVE your work, but I know you’ve been writing them a lot. That, and I’ve been on a bit of a Danger Days kick recently.

So, my request. I was wondering if you could do a MCR Danger Days one shot for me. I was thinking that the reader could maybe be Dr. Death Defying’s daughter (adopted or biological) and they could possibly be in a semi-secret relationship with Party Poison. The other members of the Fab Four know about it, but Dr. D doesn’t. Anyways, maybe one night the reader sneaks out to meet up with Party (maybe to see a a Mad Gear and Missile Kid show. Maybe just because. Your choice!). Somehow or another Dr. D finds out about the relationship (my idea is that Dr. D figures out the reader snuck out and sent Show Pony after her and Show Pony finds out and tells him, but it can be anything), and we end up getting a protective dad speech of some sort.

Sorry if that is too specific. If it isn’t something you want to do, I completely understand. ☺️

Secrets in the Zones - Party Poison x DR D.'s daughter!Reader

Warnings: bit of angst lol

Word Count: 1337 - shorter sorry!

A/N: HEYY #1 FAN! I 100% agree, Josh's lore characters need more screen time and a larger voice! I want to hear Torchbearer talk - like PLEASE 🙏 I LOVE writing TØP but here's something different like you requested! I'd been super into TØP for the last year and I think the last time I was into the Danger Days lore was about a year ago so it was super fun to revisit this! I'm guilty of using chat GPT to help me with this as I was struggling a little bit hopefully it's okay. Enjoy! Can't wait for your next request! P.S. There's a Josh fic I just posted before this so definitely check that out bc I've treated you with two fics today :)

The desert was alive tonight. The cool air prickled against my skin, a sharp contrast to the day’s oppressive heat, but it was the sort of night I loved. It made sneaking out a little easier, less likely to draw the attention of anyone holed up in Dr D.’s bunker. My dad, Dr. Death Defying, was glued to his radio station, sending out messages and songs to the Zone each night, surrounded by his friend Show Pony. I stepped softly across the cracked, dust-covered floor of the bunker, slipping my boots on and making sure my jacket was secure. The neon patch on the back reflected my Killjoy name — Riot Rhythm — though my father preferred to call me by my real name, something that reminded me that no matter what, I’d always be his daughter and likely never a true Killjoy.

Tonight wasn’t just about escaping the bunker, though. It was about him.

Party Poison.

The leader of the Fab Four had stolen my heart without even trying. His fierce determination, his loyalty to his friends, the way he fought so hard against Better Living Industries… all of it had drawn me in. The others knew. Kobra Kid, Fun Ghoul, and Jet Star had all figured it out by now, throwing subtle winks and knowing nudges whenever they saw us together. The only person who didn’t seem to know was Dad, too focused on keeping everyone in the Zones safe. 

Slipping out the door, I made sure to avoid Show Pony’s makeshift patrol route. As Dr. D’s assistant and best friend, Show Pony had become something of a caretaker when my dad was too busy running the airwaves. The last thing I needed was for them to catch me sneaking off again. 

The roar of a motorcycle engine caught my ears in the distance. There, under the cover of night, I spotted him — Party Poison, waiting in the shadows. His red hair glowed like a fire under the moonlight, and when he saw me approach, he smiled. His smile was the equivalent of my dad’s transmissions–it brought hope. 

“You ready?” Party asked, voice low but playful.

I grinned, nodding. “You know it. Where are we headed this time?”

He leaned in close, his lips brushing against my ear. “Mad Gear and Missile Kid are playing at an old hideout past Zone 3. Figured we’d catch the show.”

My heart skipped a beat. I loved the wild, rebellious energy of the Mad Gear shows. It was dangerous and chaotic, everything that BL/ind stood against, which made it all the more thrilling. That and Party had introduced me to their music a few months ago, pirating me the cassette for my birthday.

“Let’s go, then,” I whispered, hopping onto the back of his motorcycle. As the engine roared to life beneath me, the wind whipped against my face, and for a moment, I felt completely free. With Party’s arms steady around me, I didn’t have to think about my dad or the constant threat of Dracs. It was just the two of us, racing through the desert, neon lights of the city in the distance fading into nothingness.

At the Mad Gear and Missile Kid show, the music was loud and wild. I stood close to Party, feeling the beat reverberate through my body. The chaos around us was exhilarating — masked fans dancing, shouting, living in the moment. Party pulled me closer, his arm wrapping around my waist protectively.

“Glad you came out tonight,” he said, his lips close to my ear so I could hear him over the music. 

I smiled up at him, my heart swelling with affection. “I wouldn’t miss it.”

For a moment, everything felt perfect. But just as quickly as the moment came, it shattered when I spotted a familiar figure in the crowd.

Show Pony.

My heart sank. They weren't here for fun; they were here for me.

I nudged Party, nodding toward the entrance. “We’ve got trouble.”

Party’s eyes followed my gaze and landed on Show Pony, who was skating through the crowd, scanning for me. “Shit,” Party muttered under his breath. “Let’s get out of here.”

The two of us slipped through the crowd, trying to make our way to the exit before Show Pony spotted me. But luck wasn’t on my side. Show Pony’s eyes locked onto mine, and in an instant, they were skating after me with determined speed.

“Riot!” They shouted. “Stop!”

I broke into a run, Party keeping pace beside me. The two of us darted out the door, but Show Pony was right behind me, cutting me off before I could get to the motorcycle.

“I’m not letting you leave,” Show Pony said, crossing their arms. “Your dad sent me. He knows you’re out here.”

My heart pounded in my chest, guilt washing over me. I hadn’t meant to sneak out and cause this much trouble, but I also couldn’t stand the thought of Dad finding out about Party and I this way.

Party stepped forward, his expression serious. “Look, we didn’t mean to cause any problems. We just—”

“Save it,” Show Pony interrupted. “I’ve kept this secret for too long Y/N.” They used my birth name, indicating this was it–this was serious. 

I bit my lip, unable to meet their gaze. “It’s not what you think.”

Show Pony sighed, their gaze softening just a little. “I’m not here to judge, but you can’t keep this from him forever. You know that, right?”

I nodded. “I know.”

Show Pony glanced at Party, then back at me. “Come on. Let’s go back. You need to talk to Dr. D.”

Back at the bunker, my heart raced as I stood before my father. Dr. D leaned back in his chair, arms crossed, his expression unreadable.

“So,” he said, breaking the silence. “You’ve been sneaking out to see Party Poison.”

I winced at his bluntness, but there was no use denying it now. “Yeah.”

Dr. D sighed, rubbing his temples. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

I glanced at Party, who stood beside me, his usual confidence replaced by a quiet tension. “I didn’t want you to worry. I didn’t want you to think it would distract me from… everything else.”

Dr. D’s gaze softened, but his voice remained firm. “You’re my daughter, Riot. It’s my job to worry about you. But this… I don’t want you sneaking around, putting yourself in danger. If something happens out there, I need to know where you are.”

Party spoke up then, stepping forward. “I care about her, Dr. D. I wouldn’t let anything happen to her.”

Dr. D studied him for a long moment before nodding. “I know you wouldn’t. But this can’t be a secret anymore. If you’re going to be with my daughter, I need to know she’s safe — and that means no more sneaking around.”

I felt a weight lift off your shoulders, relief flooding through you. “I’m sorry, Dad. I didn’t mean to keep it from you.”

Dr. D sighed, standing up from his chair and crossing the room to us. He pulled me into a tight hug, his voice soft in my ear. “Just promise me you’ll be careful. You’re all I’ve got left.”

Tears stung at the corners of my eyes as I hugged him back. “I promise.”

Party stepped forward, resting a hand on my shoulder. “We’ll be careful, Dr. D. I swear.”

Dr. D pulled back, giving Party a long, hard look before nodding. “Alright. But if anything happens to her, you’re gonna have to answer to me.”

Party grinned, saluting him. “Understood.”

As the tension in the room eased, I finally allowed myself to breathe. The secret was out, but instead of the chaos I’d feared, there was understanding — even acceptance. And for the first time, I felt like I didn’t have to hide anymore.

Out in the Zones, the world was full of danger and uncertainty, but here, surrounded by the people I loved, I knew I’d be okay.

//

REQUESTS OPEN

[pebiejeebies]

I’m having an identity crisis../vneg

(It’s kinda like why I didn’t post much ig.. I’m so sorry)

It’s not like gender identity, or theriotype Identity

more like who the fuck am I?? (OSDD/DID/Systems pls interact,, I think I might be a system)

One day I feel like pinkie pie, bouncing around the walls and making everyone smile, in the SAME day, I get so angry and annoying, or oddly get good grammar without misspellings..

ASK @akalikestodraw OMFG. We had like a sad therapy session and when I was on my phone (Keep in mind that the keyboard makes me misspell TOO MUCH, and even @moon-fence can agree,, lmao) I was SO FORMAL

I used fancy words, I even used the period most of the time?? I barely misspelled???? WHAT?? Then after the vent suddenly I’m back to misspelling again?? WHAT???? Keep in mind AGAIN that I was typing pretty fast in both situations, and the faster I type the more likely I am to misspell

For some reason, this happens to me a lot, I have other weird things too

I used to draw on procreate, magma, whiteboard fox, and ibis, AND EVEN THE FILES APP.

AND i SWEAR my artstyle was so specific, in each and every one of these apps, it’s as if I flipped a switch in my brain when I went to one of them.. EVEN IRL MY ARTSTYLE IS SO DIFFERENT.

I’ve been having so much weird memory gaps and slight hallucinations

I remember last night I swear I saw someone’s face on my pillow

And sometimes when I cover my eyes with my fingers I see something that resembles a human, or at least a face of something

The eyes always were vivid, but rarely I’d see the mouth and the rest (idk if this counts as anything but it always intrigues me since I never hear my sisters having the same thing)

I feel like I don’t control my body alone yk?? Like sometimes I’m on autopilot and everything is just happening, kinda like right now while I’m typing this

sometimes I start feeling like I don’t exist, sometimes I feel like what I post is always going to be ignored because I know I don’t exist, and sometimes I think it’s the opposite

Sometimes I think I’m the only one alive seeing anything from text on a screen, and some images, there were just so many times and experiences that don’t feel right

If I am one person, why do I feel like ten different personalities keep switching on and off? IS THAT WHY IVE BEEN GETTING THESE WEEKLY VENTS IN THE PAST??

I’m either in constant stress and anxiety, or constant exhaustion and pain, OR constant excitement and energy

there’s still so much about me but I know nobody is interested in a long ugly essay about my shitty ass identity crisis

right now, I feel like my memories are just stuck to this moment.. I just wish I knew who the fuck I am at this point

[xlethalhadesx]

the opportunity chapter 4

a/n: hey my fellow heimdall crusaders, i have made another chapter of this chaotic yet steamy serious. from here on this is where the good stuff starts to come wink wink but besides that im sorry it takes me a while to post i work on other things like drawings and edits too, which eventually i will post art of him.....eventually but for now enjoy this please.

warnings: just heimdall being heimdall, a little steamy, nothing else to warn you about you knew what were you getting yourself into when you clicked on this. IF THERE'S ANY MISTAKES MY BAD

It was another calm afternoon on Asgard, Heimdall decided to wake up early for work, standing in the middle of his room getting dressed. As clouded as his thoughts were, he only thought about the day before when he apologized to you, even while being outside on top of the Asgard wall and observing the area. 

The wall is the only place where he can get a piece of mind with himself. These days weren’t busy for him, since Odin didn’t assign many things to him, you bother that man every thought. That look in your eye when you weren’t expecting an apology, he never saw that before. Speaking of you,  “I forgot she has sparring today” he tells himself, taking a long walk back to the elevator.

Maybe today he’ll decide not to be a total asshole to you, not yet though. Getting off the elevator, he went to the town's shopping plaza, going to where Odin made you set up after the move.

Coming to the front door of the shop, he opens the door and is greeted by a sight to see. You were talking to a very handsome customer, that mouth of yours was brandishing a good smile Heimdall hadn't seen in a while, and this guy…, this guy is making you smile easily. You’d smile at anything that can make you laugh.

“I didn’t know blacksmithing came with slacking off”

Heimdall being unannounced, you looked over seeing him “I didn’t know you were  coming this early”

“Well, If I can get you out of my hair for the rest of the day, then sure” he looks over at that male who was talking to you, being on Heimdall's level and looking at him with a bright smile, putting a nasty feeling in his stomach.

The male opens his mouth, “I'm kamur” he knows Heimdall since he’s seen him once or twice whenever he patrolled the plaza, kamur could tell the look on Heimdall's face that he couldn't care less what his name was, and turns his attention back to you.

“I will find you later, y/n” walking out of the shop to tend to his own shop next door, the watcher's eyes watched him leave.

“Now, if you are done with your play date, I’d like to go ahead and get this over with” you weren’t in the mood to waste his time in any way possible, coming around from behind the counter. You’d made sure to close up the shop before following behind him to take you wherever you two were going. The walk was silent until you decided to ask a question.

“Are we sparring like last time, my ass ending up on the floor?”

“I wouldn’t mind seeing you covered in mud, sunshine,” he said sarcastically, “but all father wouldn’t be happy about that” looking over his shoulder at you, you hate to admit it, but there were a few times this man puts a scare in you. Not only was it because he was bigger, but he also beat you in combat, of course, knowing damn near everything coming at him.

You could say it was admirable, you thought. Earning a hum of approval from the aesir, was he reading your mind again?

Brushing from your thoughts, you realized you were back at the lodge, on this training ground again. “Since you obviously aren’t ready for a weapon, we’ll start from the basics” you stood in front of him, only looking up slightly since the height difference wasn’t too big. “Throw a punch,” he told you, feeling like he was planning something, but you swung, testing your fate, and he caught your fist before it reached his face, giving you a slight smile.

“Is that how you really punch?”

“Well, I didn’t want to ruin your face more than it already is” his grip on your fist tightened, as he got closer to your face, him being this close allowed you to examine his face more. Seeing a few beauty marks, a five o'clock shadow, and those bifrost eyes he’s so famous for.

“Hit me as if I'm a threat to you, commoner” gazing into your eyes.

Letting go of your inflamed knuckles, he stood straight again looking at you with a scrunched expression, telling you to swing again, and you did.

Over and over, for probably hours in the day, him blocking your swings, Maybe even stepping back a little. It wasn’t to mock or tease you, just to make you learn, it makes you swing faster each time.

“How did you learn to fight?” you asked.

“You can't swing, and talk at the same time. Way out of your league” he keeps catching your fist that came at him with one hand.

“That doesn’t answer my question, Heimdall” your question was met by silence as he continued what he was doing before.

He rolls his eyes “I learned from all father, he has taught me many things” You should’ve guessed the answer would be that, I mean who else would teach him how to fight? 

“It’s quite impressive”

The compliment from you surprised him, looking at the very soft knuckles that he caught each time. “Well of course it is, I’m the watcher of Asgard” he holds your balled fist without letting go, looking at you. Becoming confused by him grabbing it, you look up at his face.

“Is something the matter?” You asked, there were a million things going through his head. Watching your eyes look at him with softness he hasn’t seen from anyone in a while, making his palms a bit heated and sweaty. Releasing his hold on you, he scoffs, putting his hand down.

“I think that’s enough practice for you, don’t want to drain you out” he crosses his arms, a lot of things in his mind were trying to deny him of that warmth inside him from that compliment. Throwing the poor man through a pit of confusion. 

“You should report to all father about your training, I don’t want him to think I’m not doing my job” walking past you to lead the way back inside the lodge, he would never let any women blind him from his duty, but it seems like you're making it hard for him. Knocking on the door of all father’s study and coming in to inform him why you are here.

While you and Odin talked, heimdall leaned against the door just listening while staring at your backside, what were you doing to him? Everyone hated him to the bone, not one could barely talk to him but you, you can tolerate him. Completing him earlier, he didn’t hate it either, it was like scratching his ego more than it already has.

“I can tell you two are bonding a little more than how it first was” Odin comments.

“That’s only when she isn’t talking” there he goes, talking again without thinking.

You look at him for a second before turning your attention back on Odin, “trying my best every day, I can tolerate him” you tell Odin with a slight smile.

“That reminds me, tomorrow I will be expecting a guess so please behave” this was directed towards Heimdall and not at you, after his sigh of annoyance you bid goodnight to Odin before leaving. Heimdall, closing the door behind you.

“More people, more problems”

“Not every person who comes here is a problem” you walk up the stairs heading to your room.

“I mean look at you, your problem for me, intervening with things I usually do” he snaps back at you, watching you stop at the door of your room.

You turn to him with a look on his face he knows all too well, “do you have a problem with me?”

“I have more than just a problem with you commoner” he looks down at you.

You scoff at him, opening your door “And why do you think I should care?” Saying it in a baby tone only to mock him, walking inside your room with a mischievous grin.

“I’d be honored if the commoner cared, please you think I do” 

“I have a name or does your ego block your train of thought” there was a slight spark in his eyes, a slight laugh that rumbled in his chest.

Stepping a bit closer into your personal space. 

“You think you are so funny”.

“I find myself quite hilarious, sunshine” there was that shine again, in those devilish purple eyes he always gave you. You were so focused on his eyes, you didn’t even notice how close you two were, feeling him take a breath each time. It wasn’t quick either, it was slow, his eyes looking between your eyes and lips. Mincing the same thing you were doing, his pink lips look smooth, you bet they felt soft too.

Not even knowing who leaned in first, but all you felt was his lips on yours, they felt as soft just like you thought they would be. Your hands found their way to his neck, and his slender fingers came to hold your waist, making him open his mouth wider, the kiss turning a bit sloppy. As much as you hated him, His mouth felt so good on yours, you bite his bottom lip, hearing a whimper from him, pulling away.  A trail of saliva split after he broke the kiss.

Catching each other's breaths as you two stood there, Heimdall’s face behind dark red, lips looking bruised and wet as well as yours. He steps back a bit, calming down, looking everywhere else but at you.

“I..- heimdall”

he left, leaving in a hurry without giving you the chance to speak. If he didn’t hate you now, he hates you even more right now, is all you could think about.

——————

Closing his cabin door in haste, he starts to pace around letting words fly, asking himself why did he kiss you? Why did you kiss him? Even all these unanswered will still have an awkward encounter in the morning, did you bewitch him? What were you doing to him?

Leaning against a wall while looking down at himself, seeing nothing but a noticeable bulge on his thigh. Only touching the cloth member once, seeing how sensitive he was, cursing under his breath. He’ll just sleep this off and deal with it in the morning, he can always sleep something like this off.

“God damn, commoner”.

a/n: that bifrost on him melting a bit, I'm joking but i hope you enjoyed this chapter