#when I play a character it's usually out of love and I want them to be the star of the show. yknow

[phantomrose96]

My aromantic vibe is I usually do not like shipping in fandom. But I've realized what I actually dislike is when the shipping eclipses the actual characters, dynamics, and plot. I'm actually perfectly happy to play in the space as long as the ship is a pair of sunglasses I can put on and take off depending on what my vibe is.

Yeah actually those two should make out. Actually they'd never touch each other. They're divorced. They've never spoken. Actually neither of them has ever kissed another person. They'd do unspeakable things to each other and both be worse for it. They're invited to each other's weddings and it's really sweet. They're really good friends. They get beers and hang out and that's it. They're obsessed with each other in an entirely non-romantic way. They want to kill each other. They're FWBs and it's actually one-side-unrequited love. They kissed once until I decide tomorrow they haven't. You understand.

[sundayeleith]

Ok I need to talk about the origin change and MC's uselessness and not very neutral description in the demo. I'll talk about the rest of the updated demo and the positive stuff in a later post. Here I want to at least reiterate concerns and criticisms others already expressed, and that I haven't shared here yet. It is very important to put this out there since there is sadly no feedback survey and so the devs know that a lot of us are bothered by the change and why.

For that, I do hope the devs open a feedback survey for the demo V2.

That said. Do not send hate to the devs, nor be hateful or insulting towards them. Criticism should always be respectful to the effort put into the work people have done and the people being it, as well as civil. Nor me nor others in the fandom want to see the patreon backlash hate wave be recreated ever again.

Before I start, I want to say I respect RSS and their work. As a backer, I can attest they are working hard on this game and show proof of it each update (or at least talk about it). I know they are doing their best to give us the best experience possible and put this banger game out there for everyone to enjoy. I do hope the devs will take these feedbacks to heart while understanding it comes from a place of love ✨ 🫶

/!\ Minor spoiler warning for the updated demo /!\

At first the background change was a good surprised. I was hyped. Also the general hype about the update itself had a part to play in it. As I was playing, it bothered me more and more up until I talked about it with others.

Cutting the Hound origin for the Exiled was a bad idea. Let me explain.

First of all, RSS used the Hound in the marketing of the game for the past 2 years minimum, including for the KS. It was also still present in the demo V1 for 2 years. Almost everyone who made fan MCs used the 3 origins as a framework/blueprint/prompt to shape their characters and backstory around, if not simply assigning one of the 3 origins to their OCs. People got not only used to it but after that much time had the time to build intricate lore around their characters. Cutting it like this so abruptly upset and overwhelmed a lot of people who just saw their storytelling of 2 years being discarded. For a lot of people, me included, TS is a mean for escapism and comfort, and also linked to usual fandom creative hobbies (art, writing, rp, cosplay etc...). So I totally understand the emotionnal distress some people felt.

Second of all, no one was warned and I think that it was not the best move. The origins are put in the forefront and made seem important by the dev team (emphasis on "seem", cause it's not so far). For the reasons above, at least communicating on it and asking the community for feedbacks about this change would have been better (and if not asking the whole fandom, asking the KS backers could have been an option).

Third of all, this change is useless in the current state of the game because MC was unchanged. Not only lines for the alchemist backstory are also on the 2 other routes (prob an error/bug), but why present a survivalist origin if MC still cannot fight at all ? In the demo V1 and V2, MC seem to be an after thought in writing, which is not bad in itself if not for the origins being put in the spotlight that much only to be the most useless choice of the game. Aside a handful of lines being changed there's no difference in how MC acts or interract with the world. It's not that big of a deal tbh, but then why present the origins as if it's going to bring major changes to the game when it doesn't (at least for now) ? Maybe it becomes more relevant in the full game, but that is an aspect of the game that should be noticeable from the start with how important they make the origin seem to be. Also I think they should either fuse Exiled and Hound OR bring back the Hound and flesh them out more (that's my opinion tho).

Then I have two other points that bothers me about MC. Their helplessness no matter the origin and the fact they are assumed to be small and dainty. What do you mean alchemist and houd/exiled MC cannot fight and get the whooping of their lives against a Soulless ? In a world that unforgiving I assume for the Alchemist to use spells and at least try to defend themselves and for the Hound/Exiled (esp the Exiled tbh) to know how to keep their ground in a fight with a Soulless. If Mhin can kill a Soulless that easily despite them being average sized and looking not that strong, then MC sure can too. I get that Mhin needs to be introduced but it doesn't need to be because MC is useless as hell. They could jump in not to miss on the bounty. Or cause MC could be in a tight spot and despite being able to win Mhin jumps in. I'm sure there's other examples too. Now on the size markers many people complained about in the past being unchanged is a bit of a shame. It could be easily fixed by removing any mentions of MC's size (esp with Ais, but with Kuras too that would be nice) or akin to the pronoun choice menu let people chose between at least 3 sizes (small, average and tall) and make dialogue changes according to that choice. Now, it's easier said than done which is why the first option is more feasible and the one I would chose (also, less work).

These issues aren't "that big of a deal", but the one about MC's size is actually the worst one. I know not everyone is under 6 foot not skinny. Sure the descriptions matche me and my MC, but wasn't it the goal to be inclusive ? Seeing friend mutuals and fellow fandom members yet again not feel represented and acknowledged in a game they love when they already have so little representation is sad to say the least. I stand in solidarity with you guys, and your concerns about this are valid. I know that RSS didn't do that to be malicious, but it is time in 2025 to truly keep everyone in check in terms of inclusivity (again, no hate while doing so else it's just bullying)

[lurkingshan]

Heesu in Class 2: A Lovely Queer Kdrama

This wonderful little show has come to an end, and I want to talk a bit about why I enjoyed it so very much, because it has been one of my absolute favorites of the year. Let's break it down!

Before I jump in, let me address the elephant in the room: this series is loosely based on a manhwa of the same title--and I do mean it when I say "loosely"--which has been the source of much consternation among manhwa fans who were hoping it would be closer to its source material. It's not, and it's not trying to be. The show took a fairly simple BL manhwa and gave it the full kdrama treatment, building out the world around Heesu and altering much of the story as a result. The show is entirely its own thing, and I am reading and judging it based only on what it set out to achieve with its narrative, not on how it compares to the manhwa.

The Narrative Structure

The most crucial thing to understand about this show from a narrative perspective is that despite being labeled as a kbl, it's really structured like a kdrama. Most kbls are two to four hours total and laser focused on the romance, with little time spent on other characters or the wider world. And that's understandable given the constraints they are typically under on both time and budget. Heesu is different. With 10 50-minute episodes, its officially the longest kbl ever made, if still shortish for a mainstream kdrama (those are usually 12-16 hours). And the creators took advantage of that extra time to make what is basically a kdrama/kbl hybrid that largely mimics structures and tropes from mainstream kdrama.

Specifically, the show deploys a really classic kdrama romance trope that I refer to as the love rhombus, where four characters get into messy lines of attraction that start out mostly one-sided and mismatched before eventually settling into two pairs by the end of the story. It also includes heavy emphasis on friendship and family relationships, and uses all its side characters to parallel and mirror the main story. If you watch kdramas regularly (as I do), you've seen this structure in lots of shows and have a good sense of how the story is going to play out. If you don't, and come to this show expecting it to behave like a typical kbl, you may end up confused. This show cares about a lot more than the main romance.

The Lead

Heesu is our lead, and I find him to be such an endearing character. He feels like an actual teenager in the way he's a huge mess of contradictions. Sweet and kind, but also frequently selfish and short-sighted. Generous and committed to helping others, but also kinda mean and quick to jump to wrong conclusions if someone gets on his bad side. He is the core driver of the narrative, as ultimately this is his queer coming of age story. When we begin the show, he is hiding himself from all of his loved ones, nursing an obviously doomed crush on his best friend, and badly misreading many of the people around him because he's so caught up in his own struggles.

The Friendships

There are multiple important friendships in this show, but the rift between Heesu and Chanyoung is at the heart of the story. They are longtime best friends who have started to become distant from each other as Heesu pulled back and began hiding himself upon realizing he has romantic feelings for his friend. Heesu's feelings, and the fear he has about Chanyoung finding out about them, has come between them and started to weaken the trust they have in each other, and Chanyoung begun pulling back in response. We follow as Heesu meddles in Chanyoung's relationships and struggles with whether and how to tell Chanyoung how he feels, and Chanyoung in turn tries to get Heesu to tell him what is going on with him. They are also joined by their mutual friend Hosik, a delightful character who brings so much fun to every scene he's in and has his own little love story.

The other important friendship, and one of my favorite relationships in the show, is between Seungwon and Jiyu, another pair of longtime best friends. Seungwon ends up dragging Jiyu into his mess when he pretends to like her as a cover for asking Heesu for help, and ends up coming out to her to explain himself. I love their friendship and the way Jiyu balances calling him on his lies with covering for him with others until he works up the courage to come clean. She's a real one.

The Families

I also love that this drama gives us a sense of Heesu, Seungwon, and Chanyoung's home lives. Heesu lives with his three older sisters, and his close relationships with them, and the way they've clearly influenced him to be more in tune with his emotions, is delightful. Seungwon, in contrast, has a much more solitary home life. His parents are divorced and his mom now has a female partner and travels frequently for work, so he's often alone. Chanyoung struggles with his father, who compares him unfavorably to his older brother and threatens to disown him for following his passions. These family relationships give the boys more shading and help us understand their motivations and the choices they make, and also set up some important parallels in the narrative, with Chanyoung's struggle with his father mirroring Heesu's fears about coming out. And in the end we get to see Heesu slowly work toward coming out to his sisters and Seungwon talk to his mom about her same sex relationship and how it affects him, both of which I found so lovely and rewarding.

The Romances

Like all love rhombus kdramas, this show has two primary pairs, with Heesu and Seungwon's queer romance at the center of the story and Chanyoung and Jiyu's romance serving as a thematic foil. Seungwon is pining after Heesu the entire time but hiding it, while Heesu is working through his feelings for Chanyoung and getting increasingly confused as his feelings for the two boys begin to shift. Jiyu and Chanyoung connect and get together fairly early on in the show as Heesu and Seungwon struggle much longer to get on the same page and sort out the various untruths they've told each other. And that is entirely the point! The queer characters in this story have a lot more obstacles to overcome and a lot of legitimate fears about revealing themselves; for them it's not as easy as just confessing and moving on if it doesn't work out. I loved the contrast of these two romances and also found both couples so easy to root for, especially given how generous they all were to each other as they sorted out their mess.

The Themes

This show is entirely rooted in the queer experience, with Heesu using his love of space and astronomy to draw thematic ties to his experience of life as a gay teenager in a non-bubble world. The astronomy metaphors the show deploys work so well to make the story feel coherent and connected, not to mention inspire the gorgeous visuals used to highlight these themes. This story is all about Heesu's journey to tell his loved ones his truth, to sort out what he wants from the people around him, and to find the courage to reach for his own happiness. All of the side characters are beautifully fleshed out into real and whole people, and their stories all mirror Heesu's own struggles and inform his emotional landscape. In the end, we get to watch Heesu mature, fall in love, sort his relationships, and achieve comfort and happiness with who he is. It's a great ride, and I highly recommend it for anyone who cares about queer stories.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Taking Root 3

Warnings: non/dubcon, stalking, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Characters: Bucky Barnes

This AU is called Watcher Anonymous and will include different series for different characters. This is our introduction to Bucky and Leaf.

Summary: a neighbourly connection might be more than chance.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️

Bucky's stomach is going. His chest too. She's coming over.

He's been cleaning all morning. Steve's been... gone. Ever since he left for his date. Bucky has his suspicions. It makes him even more anxious. 

As much as he chirps the other guys, he agrees. He can't just sit around and wait for things to happen. That's what he's been doing. It took him this long just to have a conversation.

He told her to buzz up but the knock on the door startles him. He peeks through the peephole. She's in a cute lilac shirt with a leaf on it and her daisy-pattern gardening hat. She waves as if she can see through the door.

He slides the chain back and opens the door. She has a bucket with several handles hanging out of it. 

"Morning, sunshine!" She chimes with a smile. She searches past him. "And kitty sunshine. Where she is."

"Morning," he returns dulcetly.

"Sorry. I woke up at four and I had like three teas! Then I was watching the birds. Oh, and I was excited to come see your flowers." She jitters. It's just plants, he thinks. He won't dim her light.

He saw her this morning. She was bopping around. He's pretty sure she was listening to music. He had his coffee and watched.

"I was going to offer you some tea but since you already had three..."

"No, I can do more! If you don't mind." She trills.

"Sure, I bought, uh, a thing," he goes to the cupboard. She takes her shoes off and leaves them on the mat before following. "Not too sure what kind you wanted. It has different ones."

She comes up next to him and stands close. She smells like cinnamon. She leans in and examines the box. "Can I have the apple, please and thanks."

"Sure, maybe I'll try some." He turns and flicks on the kettle. A big white splotch lands on the counter. Bucky sighs, "Al..."

"Hi, kitty!" She tweets and puts her hand out. "Aren't you so gorgeous?"

Alpine smells her fingers. "Careful," Bucky warns, "she bites..."

His voice trails off as the white shorthair pushes her head into Leaf's hand. He'd love to do the same thing. The thought of her playing with his hair, petting him, sitting in his lap. Back off, Bucky.

"Shoo, off the counter," he snaps his fingers at the cat.

She hops down. Leaf lets out a disappointed breath.

"Why don't you take her in the other room before she knocks over my toaster again," he says.

"Sure," she sings.

She makes noises to lure Alpine away and rubs her fingers together. He waits until he's sure she's gone. He checks over his shoulder then opens the cupboard. He takes down the little vial. He hesitates as he examines the powder. He crushed the tablets last night. Just in case...

It'll be easier than locking her in the back of a truck or breaking into her house. He uncaps it and pours it into the mug, placing a tea bag on top. He quickly shoves the vial away and watches the kettle. His fingers tap on the counter.

Just one step closer. This is it. I mean, is he that lame that those losers from that discord are further along than him?

He coughs as the kettle clicks. He pours the hot water into the mug. He lifts it and stirs the bag around. The powder dissolves. He puts the spoon in the sink and crosses the tile.

He peeks out into the front room. She's on the couch watching Alpine play with her weathered toy mouse. The squeaker stopped working ages ago but the cat still loves it.

"Here," he brings the cup to her and places it on a coaster on the end table. "It's hot."

"Oh, thanks. That's so sweet," she bounces on the couch. "You had her a long time?"

"Couple years. She was down in the alley hunting robins."

"Awwww. That's adorable. You saved her."

He nods. That's all he's doing. Saving her too.

"So the flowers?"

"Right," she stands up. "Can I bring the tea with me?"

"Sure, don't burn yourself," he says. He's sabotaging herself. No one wants cold tea.

She gets up and takes the cup. She blows over it. "Smells very apple-y."

"Great," he utters nervously.

He leads her out onto the balcony, holding the door for her. She steps out and peers across the gap between their buildings. "Oh, wow, you can see all my flowers from here."

"It's colourful," he says.

"Ha, yes," she agrees and turns to look at his planters. "Oh, some of these girlies need water."

"Right, uh, I'm new at this," he rubs his neck.

She sips the tea. She clears her throat and flinches. "That's strong. Black tea?"

"Must be," he shrugs.

"Hm, well, new things are fun," she says.

She cradles the cups as she looks over his assortment. "I love the shades you chose. We can put them into the planters easily. You got soil?"

"Oh, shoot, I must've missed that step," he says.

"Hmmm, okay, I might have some at my place." She turns and he stops her from putting the cup down.

"Finish the tea then you can run across. I'm in no rush." He insists.

She looks down. "Oh, sure, Wouldn't want it to go cold," she backs up and leans on the railing. "I... I was wondering. That clock in there. A cuckoo clock?"

"I'm trying to fix it." He says as he peeks back towards the apartment windows. "Client inherited it from an uncle or something."

"Wow, is that what you do? Fix things?"

"I try," he says.

She slurps again. Her cheeks pinch. Was it too much? Did he pour it all in? He didn't pay attention.

"I've sold a few plants. I go down and get the seedlings cheap. Raise them, sell em for a pretty bonus. Helps." She explains. "You mind if I sit?"

"Go ahead."

She lowers herself and look down at the alley. "It's so peaceful out here sometimes. I wish I got more sun. Maybe a nicer view. All I can see is brick."

"Right. Be nice to live somewhere far out, huh? In the country?"

"Yeah."

"Maybe a farm?" He prompts.

"Hm, a lot of work. Chickens and stuff. Lots of pests too."

He hums and follows her gaze to the alley. He stands at the door, blocking it. She sits and nurses the drink. She puts down the empty cup. She grumbles.

"Oh, I think... that was caffeinated," she bends over her lap and holds her head. "I'm getting a headache."

"I didn't realise. I shoulda read the box."

She makes another gurgle and her body goes slack. He rushes over before she can slip onto the balcony floor. He unfolds her and turns her over. She's breathing but out like a light. He pinches her cheek. She doesn't react.

He exhales. Well, he's gone this far.

[zengguos]

a few more yellowjackets soccer hcs floating in my head:

● the defense line are the closet with each other. genlissa left side (sorry jenna, melissa's not midfield material to me, those reaction times, runs and the stalking positioning is giving left back vibes) and lottielee right side. the group tease lottielee for picking up each other's habits like the little lip smile laura lee does, lottie ends up unconsciously doing it too. sometimes van gets super pissed in high pressure matches and has to tell genlissa off for chatting too much because they're her weaker side.

● they usually run a 4-4-2 formation, but change to 3-5-2 by putting lottie in defensive mid-field for pressure, support and coverage if by half time they're tieing/losing (laura lee fully controlling defense now). coach martinez's strategy that he tells lottie to do when she's placed there — "take them down. no matter how risky it is, you're taking them down." and she takes that very seriously and literally. 💀

● lottie is the "emergency goal-keeper". one match van got potentially injured and had to be subbed off. they didn't have the second string or jv keeper on the bench, so lottie had to switch positions with the logic behind it being "she's got big hands, the tallest and has the best footwork, she can cover post to post the best." — every one jokes about that match.

● lottie being given the throw ins and she launches the ball across the field (prime stoke city rory delap style haha).

● tai and van do additional practice at the local park field for a few hours on saturdays. tai is open for anyone to come join them. usually the others show up for a while (laura lee, lottie, jackie dragging shauna along) just to hang out and mess around. but, unspokenly, this time is used for anyone that needs an excuse to get out of their house, away and disconnected from their family stressors and pressures. nat goes to every single one and is usually the last person on the field. they assume it's to make up on the practices that she has missed, but it is because she doesn't want to go back home.

● still keeping that original character pitch of nat being made to join an extra curriculum as part of her deal with the principle to avoid being expelled and stay at the school.

● nat got her first set of cleats from the old starter senior right winger in her freshman year before she left — telling nat that she had natural talent for this. which made nat decide she wanted to play in that position and take the sport more seriously to the point she made varsity in her sophomore year as it felt like someone looked out, supported and had faith in her in the past, present and future for the first time.

● nat is their corner taker for both sides. she knows how to pick a target and start a movement of play from analysing the positions everyone is in. communicating the play she is about to set up with hand signals. usually it's just aiming for lottie's tall head in the middle of the pack that ends up being a guaranteed goal. 😭

● "now look what you've done! now you've made robin cry." van would always say when the lockeroom drama has gotten too intense — that idea makes me laugh so much. I love it.

● laura lee has major team mom vibes when they have away matches. she is the friend that has everything in her huge duffle bag. need a band-aid? a spare hair-tie? didn't bring anything to eat or drink? feeling sick, do you want some tylenol? need some deodorant? mints to cover up your alcoholic breath? broke something? well let her whip out the portable sewing kit she carries around with her and fix it for you before the match. if she doesn't have what you need, she knows who will.

● we know jackie got made captain for nationals. so, I hc laura lee is the vice captain for nationals and takes the band when jackie is subbed off. if jackie is influence, laura lee is balance. she's stubborn and headstrong enough for it, but also compassionate and mindful. she does bring a clear balance to the other hotheads and she is a team player compared to those who are more individualistic in the team, or simply don't want the pressure of leading, or have the experience. she doesn't let the girls the opinions weigh on her, or attitudes waiver her resolve and we see that she can bite back and tease too. she also allows people to have their voice with her and brings that open space for challenges and discussions. she does have captain qualities but not on jackie's level of charisma, infulence and outright vocalness. she's the next best pick to lead if you compare her to the others and their attitudes and reactions to that responsibility in that setting.

● tai was upset over not getting captain or vice captain for nationals.

● shauna is the fastest and likes to flaunt it. tai likes to try and race her every warm up with the full pitch line to line exercise to see if she can finally beat her. but, nat and melissa are the closet to always nearly catching shauna up.

● you just know other teams hated going against the varsity team. not because they were undefeated or had lots of skill and talent. it was purely on their attitude! they were totally the villains of the season that every school in the state wanted to topple on attitude alone. but, they were so good psychologically at getting into people's heads on the pitch. that's how they were able to pull off most of their plays — the cutthroat mentality! influence, power, pressure and risky sometimes boarding dirty tricks. you didn't want to give up possession with them because that was a instant game-over if they were able to control the narrative of the game even down goals. they will and can take you into the last minutes of the game — it's not over until the final whistle.

● mari gets her yellow cards mostly as a disciplinary warning. she keeps flashing her middle finger to the opposition players. ball goes out of play? "ayyyyyy" *wags her finger fingers at them*. scores a goal? middle fingers celebration. the opposition team player pisses her off? boom middle finger. jackie does tell her off for it, but lightly because she does it too. she finds it funny and also joins in too if her and mari have done a set play that's paid off — love the sassy striker duo.

● "things must be grim if you're subbing in." / "I was just decoy bitch!" mari support!! mari being the tactical sub in!! mari being the ultimate assistance!! as the second striker she is supposed to track back and press constantly so jackie can make those runs. oh she is the pit girl because she is the one that is expected to fill the hole between the oppositions defense and mid-field by going in deep and allowing jackie the space to get that opportunity to score.

● when the ref puts the free kick spray down for the ball position, mari will try (or be tempted to try) and quickly scoop the foam up and change the spot positioning. she did that last match before their state final match which got her replaced on the starting line up by allie as her punishment. but, coach martinez does quietly respect her audacity because "in the adult world, in real life, nothing is a 100% fair. survival isn't fair." which makes ben eye roll.

● mari is a serial diver too, like she will take the opportunity to go down in the box if there's a challenge on her so they can call for a penalty kick. tai is their go to penalty kicker and she has a 100% record (she knows how to shoot her targets).

● jackie really does have a passion for soccer. it is one of things she knows she loves despite everything going on in her head, that makes her feel like she is connected to her body and a part of something; living, breathing and in control the ball leaving her feet for the pay off. she goes to see the friday night college matches at rutgers with shauna.

● jackie is the one who creates the little team dances to van's mixtapes as her own little pre-match ritual to get into the headspace. everyone slowly/unknowingly just started copying her moves until it became the joint team dance before every match. jackie/van pre-match lockeroom hypewomen.

● during the school fundraising day: mari, van and jackie worked their asses off to get the most funds in the sports department by running a food stall. mari with her full on cook out of homemade family recipe meals, van with her theatrical persuasive selling skills to get more people to buy more, jackie with her popular pull of attracting people's attention to the stall.

● their little varsity initiation tradition into the first team is making you wear the disgustingly stinky yellowjackets wasp mascot costume after the first pep rally with the team that you have to do the "buzz! buzz! buzz!" chant and dance in.

● they have bets on who gets carded during the match (lottie is the safest option to put your money on). but, there's also a rule that if you do get carded you have to chip in to pay for the post-match pizza for everyone who didn't. it is also a team tradition that the person with the most cards throughout the season has to organise the end of season party as the punishment (which jackie ends up helping with anyways).

● during post-match pizza parties van makes them hit up the arcade with her and there's an all out war. jackie, tai, lottie, nat and van (and secretly shauna despite being terrible at them) get super competitive in trying to beat each other in mortal kombat and street fighter. laura lee doesn't like playing the fighters, but is insanely good at racing games like daytona usa and rave racer which pisses van off because she can't ever beat her. (yes I'm keeping the pilot script childhood best friends between van and laura lee running).

● all the seniors instantly adopted akilah and were pissed when the coach chose allie to move up to varsity from jv and start over her.

● smoking sessions behind the gym before practice usually with nat, lottie and shauna after ap history. but, they have to keep rotating spots because ben keeps busting them for it.

● the photos at the reunion were taken by jackie (and misty). jackie was on the yearbook committee too and always had a disposable camera on her, snapping away. she would give one to misty to capture random moments between the girls too when she's too busy playing to capture the moment.

● misty tries to help beyond being just equipment manager. she writes strategies, player weaknesses and strengths for the team and their opposition in her horrendously amazing lisa frank white cat themed notebooks (laura lee has the horse one that misty gifted her for her birthday that she uses). she shows her strategies to ben during practice. he skims through them and loosely praises her enough to make her happy, but doesn't really push for them against coach martinez's strategies in the varsity team on game day (but does try some with jv). jackie does genuinely read them though and tries to push them into their tactics with her plays.

● ben usually does take over practices because the only time coach martinez cares is when it's match day and he reworks all ben's plans. he gets annoyed that the credit gets given to coach martinez when ben is the one doing the majority of the work with varsity and jv. everyone knows ben is the true head coach at heart.

[jo-dyy]

It’s a first for me, I usually prefer to read everyone’s theories about the game and just enjoy, but after playing the Touchstarved 2.0 demo; I couldn’t hold it anymore. SPOILER AHEAD!

——————————————————————————-

So for more context, my favorite character has always been Leander from the start, a close second would be Kuras and I can’t even express how happy I am with the new portrayal of their characters.

Everyone has been reworked (I think), some more than others, but I really enjoyed the nuances added to our lovely love interests.

Kuras

They made him more playful; OG Kuras appeared to be quite aloof, and while I enjoyed the stoic doctor charm; I actually prefer this silly side we were able to witness. Especially at the end when you chose to go for him, the scene where we follow him around feels more mischievous and it’s just Kuras annoying the Senobium cleric (simply cause he can). He gives us a little tour, and the new background is soooo pretty. The moment at the end before we part, and fall in his arms is even more heart fluttering. Also keep in mind that if you want the red option for Kuras you’ll have the play as the Unnamed origin.

Ais

Ok, so I have to admit, I always had a soft spot for Ais, he’s just a chill guy, and I feel like we would vibe a lot together x) In the new demo he seems slightly more cold when we meet him (maybe it’s just me). But his solo scene is one of my favorite, I’m just a sucker for people who compliments my laugh 🤭 This moment was just so sweet and he appeared much softer thanks to it .

Mhin

What a cutie patootie… They made Mhin way more likable in my opinion, while they’re still our blushing tsundere, I loved how we were able to see a more vulnerable side of them.

•Vere

We don’t have to die anymore 🥳 More seriously, I didn’t mind the death part, but it’s still nice to have a chance to put foxy in his place (blushing Vere?!) Overall he appeared more relaxed as well, which make sense; if he wants us to trust him, he would have to be more relatable and try to get on our good graces.

Leander

Oh my goodness. Correct me if I’m wrong but I feel like they reworked Leander’s dialogues the most. I don’t mind the name change (from Bloodhounds to Adderstones) even though I would like to know why they removed the "as above so below" slogan. Can we talk about how more INTENSE Leander is in this new version? It was more subtle in the past one, but here, he clearly appears as a cult leader, kinda out of reach even, which is why the MC would feel more special to get his attention. We still don’t know how exactly the Adders operate, though it seems you can’t just barge in and talk to the high and mighty Leander… (we were able to do so, only after mentioning Kuras). I was relishing on every scenes we had with this guy. At the end when you chose him especially, this is where you can clearly tell he’s a manipulative bastard. The "I’m jealous" comment? The joke on having us on a leash?? (for our safety of course haha 😃) The love bombing? He’s so unhinged and I love that. The cherry on top is truly the way he told us he had informations regarding the curse, and is the one proposing to talk about it in our room. LOCKING THE DOOR, of course he’s observant and notices MC being uncomfortable, and manipulate us into urging him to stay. He knows at this point that we’re hopeless, and use it to his advantage to have us exactly where he wants. Things get slightly heated and when MC is reluctant; he just apologies and LEAVES??? Um sir, what about the infos you were supposed to give us? I literally had goosebumps reading this passage, and I think MC felt the same way, I love the way they portrayed the realization settling in, like "Wait a minute?"

——————————————————————————

This is it for my little rambling… English isn’t my first language; so I apologize if I’m not making much sense. Of course, I’m aware that my observations are not rocket science, I just really wanted to take this out of my chest 🙂‍↕️ I can’t wait for the game full release, and love reading all the fan theories!

[saytrrose]

Question about the infection au:

Where the ancients at in all this? Methinks DC would be the best off in this considering he's already got a giant fuck off wall and all that, and PV's kingdom is on that floating island thing,so he's at least got that level of protection, but idk about the other two

HI HI YES I LOVE QUESTIONS ABOUT IT PLEASE ASK ME QUESTIONS AND ILL PRODUCE MORE ART FOR IT ahem

During this infection, because it becomes so widespread and out of control, the kingdoms actually merge into one base, that is the most secure and practically impossible to even touch sanctuary haven for cookies! A huge powerhouse, if you will.

This post will be sort of long, as the infirmary has a lot of detail and lore to it and I find it very important to explain with Vanilla and how they are coping with the infection, mycosis. Others are brief unless you want something specific touched on!

Heads up before you read more, this is infact a VERY dark au, it is going to obvious have themes of death, lots of trauma for the characters.

Luckily, all the Ancients are in one piece. The beasts however… one of them is not.

Because of the conjoined kingdom as one now, the multiple rulers talk because all final decisions are made, however they do play their own seperate roles.

Pure Vanilla runs the Infirmary. There are very few healer cookies, and due to the infection, the sanctuary needs all of them assigned to the medbay infirmary. If you remember from the stage run downs, only cookies above an epic rarity are able to attempt reversion spells and what is horrible about this is that means only Pure Vanilla cookie can do this.

Vanilla wants to have compassion and care in this time, but it’s hard for him to do so. He’s much more quiet and exhausted, if he didn’t eat much before he certainly doesn’t in this au. He’s stressed and frail and it’s because he is trying to teach the other healers and see if they CAN learn reversion spells with time.

There’s only 10 available healer cookies in the sanctuary. (That is ALL of them besides Mystic Flour!) It it saddening, because for those who have healer capabilities it no longer matters or is of importance if they want to garden, if they want to sing, to open a bar, whatever because they cannot manage that right now. They must become the sanctuary’s doctors which are short staffed and in dire need almost always.

Epic cookies learn amputation surgeries. It’s important to do, as the virus is not airborne or infected through bites but infact simple mold to dough contact, which is why they cover up all of their skin in clothing or bulkier attire/armor. Simple exposure, touch will immediately infect a cookie and becasue it’s so easy to contract when you’re not covered, kids wander out to be rebellious, and these infected sprint at you, desperate to lunge at you- cookies will be infected. Stage one is the only reversible stage so if a cookie is infected and doesn’t reach a infirmary within 24 hours and Stage two arrives, and they are stuck with amputating your arm or leg if you want to even survive.

Upon needing to watch and tend to all infected cookies, and the amputation surgeries and recovery- if a cookie is infected not on a limb or advances past stage two they unfortunately are going to succumb to it. They try to make the cookies last moments aware as best they can, letting family and friends visit and talk but that’s the most they can do. They will usually.. put down, by injection, cookies right before it completely spreads to their whole body- before they lose themselves to stage there and cannot control their body functions any longer.

It’s horrible because our beloved healers are not cut out for this. This isn’t a passion of there’s, and you could see rockstar crying in the break room but wiping their face if you walk in to pretend everything is fine. You can imagine Herb, squeamish with blood trying to assist a surgery and having to leave the room crying and throwing up in a trash can, Sparkling following shortly after to rub his back and hug him. You get the idea.

Cream Unicorn sort of does the best in this situation. They become the head nurse almost, on their own. Vanilla tends to come in to do the lethal injections himself, he does not want to force anyone else to do it but sometimes, rarely another cookie needs to step up and no one wants to do it so Unicorn does.

Unicorn is the most calm under it, they are the best with kids, and you can imagine a very sad and dystopian scene where there is a stage three child, unfortunately strapped down to their table because their body is twitching and trying to occasionally fight the restraints, but their mind is still intact in this scenario. A cookie in stage 3 is still aware, in their mind but not their body but most will consider them gone in this stage and avoid them at all cost. It’s sad, to the victim because in their head they are screaming no, it’s still me! I am still here! Please help me..

Unicorn know that. Unicorn handles it the best, singing soft lullabies to patients to soothe them, petting their hair but in a full suit, face shield and all. They can still see the emotion in the poor cookies eyes, shaking and welling with tears and they jsut want someone to be there in their final moments because Unicorn knows everyone else is too scared, but the victim is so lonely in this stage.

I love ranting SO MUCH I AM OFF TOPIC AHHHH

Custard and Angel are Rare and Common healers, they are also children and do not learn or be subjected to such intense themes. They are still in schooling for more advanced spells and medical care, and more so just help with minor tasks about.

Vanilla often carries Yeti around. Yeti is a baby, but the only one able to help him. Vanilla feels so much guilt, feels horrible that he needs to rely on Yeti cookie even a little bit for these reversion spells because they take a lot out of the caster. He tries to cover it all himself if he can, but occasionally he will need Yetis help.

Yeti is literally, a toddler but yetis power is so strong and important and out of this world during this time, par with Vanilla for this task. Vanilla is practically killing himself with not even properly taking care of himself during this either so it’s definitely quite the nightmare.

Anyway, there’s an infirmary rundown.

Cheese and Hollyberry runs the defense line. They have archers and defense cookies surrounding the kingdom walls constantly.

Dark Cacao monitors the expedition teams. He has charge and ambush cookies stationed in rotating groups to send out past the borders to revisit the other abandoned kingdoms and supplies outposts to bring resources back to the kingdom almost daily.

Lily is in charge the research team. She has a lot of other bomber cookies with her, though not all are mandatory. (healer cookies are screwed, they are sort of forced into a place while other classes are a tiny more flexible with stations) Lily is very adamant about discovering a cure or alternative methods to keeping the infection at bay, or stabilizing it. She has cookies who are handing samples of the molds and studying them. Usually infected are… killed, but Wizard Cookie is around. Wizard is contained, as patient #0 after all, and the original gang is allowed to visit if they want to see him.

Gingerbrave is the only one that does so, and regularly.

[aspoonofsugar]

Adam's Design

Here comes an analysis of Adam's design! Just like with Vaggie, I am gonna reference some other metas, combine ideas together and see what the first man's design has to say!

THE FIRST MAN

The Hellaverse is famous for giving its characters animal motifs. Still, Adam is one of the few exceptions:

His only animal traits are his wings, which sport two stripes like the other exorcists'. However, the exorcists have white and black wings, which together with their gray outfits make them look like pigeons:

Adam's overall design is instead unique and does not fit this imagery. So, is that it? Does Adam really lack an animal motif?

Well, not exactly:

Adam is the first man, who is created after all the other animals. In other words, Adam's own animal motif is "the man", which is used to explore three ideas:

Masculinity

Authority (the patriarchy)

Humanity

These three themes are entangled in Adam's character and are conveyed by three different visual motifs, which can be found in his weapon of choice:

Adam fights with:

an axe - a very brute weapon, which ties into his hyper-masculine persona, rooted in physical prowess

a guitar - a rock instrument, which ties into his rock motif, used to explore authority

a harp - an instrument associated with angels, which ties into the first human's religious motif

THE DICKMASTER - TOXIC MASCULINITY

Adam's attire is a way to affirm his masculinity, starting with his tunic, which resembles a Letterman jacket:

Lettermen are students awarded for excelling in school activities, like sports. As a prize, they receive a jacket or another piece of cloth with the initial of their school on it. When it comes to Adam, he is wearing a "Letterman tunic" with a giant "A", aka his own initial. This choice highlights three things:

The letter on the jacket is usually that of the school or team, as these clothes are meant to represent school pride. However, Adam wears an "A" for Adam to highlight his narcissism. Deep down, the only team Adam plays for is his own.

To become a Letterman is a reward. It shows you are great at something. Similarly, Adam starts as a virtuous soul, but climbs up until he becomes the leader of the Exorcists.

Letterman jackets are associated with the archetype of the jock in teen movies. This type of character is strong and popular, but dumb and arrogant. This fits Adam, who also frames the exterminations as sports:

Adam: Lute, how many demons did you kill this year? Lute: Got a good 275 this year, sir. Adam: 275? Woah! Badass! 

In other words, Adam's Letterman tunic is Adam showing his status in Heaven. He is great and everybody needs to know it. Not only that, but his excellence is built on masculine traits:

Adam: So, I was playin' this gig, and for some fuckin' reason, this virtue chick was diggin' on the drummer, and it's like, "do you know who I am? I'm fuckin' Adam. I'm the original dick!" All dicks descend from me. You think you want drummer dick? No way! I'm the Dick-fuckin' master! So, anyway, then we fucked, and it was awesome.

He is strong, good at sports and sex. He is the man, right? So, of course he is also the Letter-man! He is more of a Letterman than anybody else to the point his own initial is THE only letter worth wearing :P Not only that, but his initial is also the Letter-Man par excellence since it is basically a stylized dick:

And yet, this design choice is used ironically. Adam wears a penis to look like a dickmaster, when he is really a dick. So, Adam highlights his masculinity so much that he becomes toxic.

Deep down this is a reaction to his two wives dumping him for the same guy:

Lucifer: Well, your first wife didn't seem to hate what I had to offer…or the second! Bowchicka pow pow!

This event consumes Adam so much that he ends up objectifying all women and lashing out at anything or anyone connected to his love rival. The end result is a character who waves his hyper-masculinity to hide how unsure he is about himself. This contradiction permeates Adam's looks with an example being his horns:

They look so metal rock, right? Then one remembers that cuckhold's horns are symbolic of a man whose wife is unfaithful... and we go back to the failure of Adam's marriage. Adam's inability to overcome this upset has progressively led him to find satisfaction in power and authority, rather than happiness and relationships.

STICK IT TO THE MAN - ROCK AND AUTHORITY

Adam's aesthetic makes him look like a rockstar:

Especially the spikes and horns give him metal vibes, which are emphasized by Adam's love for hard rock:

Adam: Guitar solo, fuck yeah!

What's interesting is that this motif ties with the theme of authority:

Vaggie: "Act selfless, don't steal, stick it to the man". Are you fucking serious? Adam: Uh, yeah. Sure got me here, didn't it?

This line is a reference to School of Rock, which tells the story of Dewey, a failed rockstar, who discovers himself a teacher. The movie musical explores how rock is about connection, community and self-expression. In short, it is about rebelling against an authority, which suffocates who you are:

Dewey: THE WORLD is run by the Man. Oh, you don't know the Man? He's everywhere. In the White House, down the hall, MISS MULLINS, she's the Man. And the Man ruined the ozone, and he's burning down the Amazon, and he kidnapped Shamu and put her in a chlorine tank! Okay? And there used to be a way to stick it to the Man, it was called rock 'n roll. But guess what? Oh no. The Man ruined that, too, with a little thing called MTV! So don't waste your time trying to make anything cool, or pure, or awesome, 'cause the Man is just gonna call you a fat washed up loser and crush your soul. So do yourselves a favor and just GIVE UP!

Well, the irony is obviously that Adam himself is "the man", so he is the authority the people of Hell need to rebel against. On a deeper level he takes an aesthetic about freedom and rebellion and turns it into a symbol of power and repression for both the people of Hell, who are oppressed, and the exorcists, who are forced to conform:

Adam transforms something born to challenge the system into the system. Just like he himself was born a human and progressively turned into a monster:

Adam: You really think you can take me on? A mortal soul is no match for me, edge-lord. Alastor: You should know better than anyone what a soul can accomplish when they take charge of their own fate.

Alastor and Adam are the same because both used their respective Kingdom's rules to grow stronger. Alastor collected souls and became an Overlord. Adam instead managed to rise to the rank of Archangel (Archangels are probably the Heaven's equivalent of Hell's Overlords). So, Adam is an example of a broken person, who tried to fill his existential void by amassing more and more power, until he completely lost himself. The end result of this process is an empty vessel, an "idol". This metaphor works in two ways:

1-Adam is a musical idol aka a rockstar, which is why his song alludes to a concert. Adam makes a bombastic exhibition with guitar solos and an enthusiastic group of fans cheering and clapping:

2-Adam is a religious idol, which means he is trying to present himself as more than what he is. He is a man, but wants others to perceive him as god.

JUST A MAN - RELIGION AND HUMANITY

In "Hell is Forever", Adam conjures a group of golden exorcists, who dance with him. In particular, three of them fly behind Adam, so that for a moment it seems as if he has eight wings. This moment references two sets of symbolism.

The first one is from the Bible- at one point the Israelites start adoring a golden calf instead of God and are punished for it.

The second one is from the series itself- here the Seraphims have 6 wings and they are the highest ranking angels.

So, Adam plays the part of the golden calf, as he imagines himself with 8 golden wings. He does so because he wants to be a God above the Seraphims. Or at least, he wants to be better than one specific Seraphim:

Adam is motivated by a sense of inferiority towards Lucifer, which results in the first man both negating the King of Hell and imitating him. Visually this contradiction is shown by Adam's religious motif. As a matter of fact the first man resembles both an angel and a devil.

Adam has all the attributes of an angel, like the halo and the wings. Moreover, he wears white, gold and celestial blue, which are all colors associated with Heaven. To be precise, "white" alludes to "goodness", "gold" brings to mind "precious" and "celestial" means "related to the sky". So, Adam himself is good, precious and heavenly. He is different from the sinners, who are punished in darkness. He is better than the other exorcists, who wear silver. He is definitely the opposite of the devil, who is red and is banished to Hell.

Adam chooses some accessories that make him look demonic. He breaks his color palette by adding black gloves, a black mask and black horns. Black is associated with Hell and so are horns. Why would Adam embrace such an aesthetic? Well, other than his obvious love for rock and metal, it is because deep down he envies Lucifer and wants to be like him. Adam's mask ties into this. It is noseless, harlequin-like and has pointy teeth. It is basically a loose imitation of Lucifer's clown-like face, but black. The difference is that Lucifer's face is naturally like that, whereas Adam wears a mask and refuses to take it away:

If you wear a mask 24h/24h when you do not need to, then you probably dislike your face. Well, Adam clearly does and he also dislikes himself, which is why he embraces a facade. He isn't just a fake god, but also a fake self. He doesn't really have 8 wings, he isn't heaven-born like the highest angels and he isn't a demon. He is just a man. Not even the man, but just one among many. He is a normal person and he can't stand it, so he tries to hide it. Still, the truth comes to light in the final fight. Starting with Adam's battle outfit.

UNMASKED

Adam's battle outfit superficially emphasizes his major motifs:

He wears more and bigger spikes because "he rocks" :P

He wears a fig leaf over his "jewels" to highlight them. This also works as an inversion of the biblical Adam, who covered his nudity using leaves out of shame. Hellaverse Adam instead wants people to notice his penis XD

And yet, some cracks start to appear. For example, the color scheme is slightly different from usual:

The white is mostly covered and almost disappears

The celestial blue is nowhere to be seen. In its place there is a color similar to purple, so a mix of blue (heaven) and red (hell)

The gold is the only color that stays unchanged

The end result is a character, who appears much darker and more ominous. So, Adam has given up any pretense of goodness and is showing his true colors. He is not a well-intentioned extremist, but a cruel and selfish prick, who likes hurting others. Still, this malice comes from insecurity. Adam's frail sense of self starts creeping out from those same motifs he uses to appear strong:

he wears a golden leaf to highlight his penis; still he does so to overcompensate his insecurity as a lover and appear more macho-like (deconstruction of masculinity)

he has so much gold because this color ties with his idol symbolism; he is the golden calf, after all (deconstruction of authority)

Finally, Adam's mask gets quickly cracked the moment Lucifer appears. This isn't by chance because Lucifer is who Adam deep down wants to be: the man Lilith fell in love with. At the same time, Adam is who Lucifer risks to become, if he does not overcome his flaws: a lonely and frustrated man who can't make any connections. In short, the fight between Adam and Lucifer is a fight between two sides of the self.

Adam fights his ideal self, which is why Lucifer is who he can't be. Adam tries to appear both angelic and demonic, but Lucifer is naturally so:

Lucifer fights his shadow self, which is why Adam wears a mask similar to Lucifer's face, but black:

Their fight marks Adam's progressive "unmasking".

First of all, Lucifer takes the form of many animals, which is interesting for two reasons:

Despite changing shapes, Lucifer always remains himself as shown by the little hat and bowtie all his animal forms have. He never hides or represses who he is.

Adam facing off against different animals makes his lack of animal traits even more obvious and prepares us for the reveal: his animal motif is humanity.

Secondly, Lucifer gives two huge blows to Adam's ego. On the one hand Lucifer mocks Adam for both his wives preferring him over Adam. On the other hand Lucifer shows his superior power and proves the difference in hierarchy is still there, despite Adam's struggles. In short, Lucifer deconstructs Adam's masculinity and undermines his authority to show his humanity:

Adam is just a normal dude. He is a man. He is human. He is so human he is actually designed after a real person: his voice actor, Alex Brightman. Brightman became successful by playing Dewey Finn in the musical version of School of Rock, so this choice emphasizes Adam as a negative version of Dewey. Even more importantly, though, it underlines Adam's normality. He has no fleshy design, nor monstrous attribute, nor animal parts. He is 100% human. He is a person. Not only that, but he is a person, who doesn't take care of himself. He is overweight, is not shaved and has eye-bags under his eyes. He could be very attractive, but has let himself go. Obviously this is meant to mirror Adam's interiority. He can't accept who he is, which only leads to frustration and unhappiness.

Adam's final moments bring this idea home by playing with his three themes of authority, masculinity and humanity.

Adam makes his idol-motif obvious by openly stating he wants to be a god (authority):

Adam: No... you don't get to end this! I'm fucking Adam! I'm the fucking man, and you're just some fucking clown or something! I started everything on Earth! All of mankind came from these fucking nuts! You all should be worshipping me, you ungrateful, disgusting, fucking losers-!

Adam is stabbed by Niffty, a masochist woman who loves bad boys. Not only that, but Niffty stabs him in his stylized penis and Lucifer's innuendo drives home Adam has been metaphorically stabbed in the balls (masculinity):

Lucifer: Hey, y-ya got somethin' stickin' outta your... your thing there.

Adam shows his humanity by smiling to a crying Lute before dying:

In the end, Adam had the potential to grow and to find happiness because he was a human. And yet, he despised his humanity, repressed it and died a humiliating and avoidable death, leaving behind the only person who truly cared about him.

THE DRAGON

So, we have analyzed Adam's design in the series. Still, according to the Pitch Bible for Hazbin Hotel, Adam was initially designed as a dragon:

Obviously the story was supposed to be very different back then. Still, it is fun to theorize about why a dragon-design was imagined for Adam. I can think of two reasons:

Adam was linked to dragons because they are often associated with the devil, so his design highlighted how he is a demon inside, despite being an angel. This same result is obtained in the series by his horns and idol motif.

Adam was a dragon because he is in fact someone else's "dragon", so a sidekick for a much more dangerous villain

Personally, I think this second point might still be valid. After all:

Lute: Adam is dead. Your deal is done and I'm in charge now.

He had enough authority in Heaven to make a deal with Lilith and to avoid punishment by Sera. So, I am expecting future seasons to reveal his link to a higher standing angel or to some other active force in the Hellaverse.

At the same time, it is interesting to notice that Adam's dragon design has been passed down to another character:

Satan, King of Wrath, is a giant dragon, who used to be Lucifer's "dragon" and is now trying to pass himself up as the real devil of the Hellaverse.

What's more, Satan isn't the only Deadly Sin whose design references Adam's. As a matter of fact Adam's final looks can be easily compared to that of another Helluva character:

Mammon, King of Greed, has diamonds all over his outfit, just like Adam. Moreover, they have a similar body-shape and they both try to emulate Lucifer. Adam tries to look demonic, whereas Mammon uses a cane similar to Lucifer's. Not only that, but the King of Greed steals Lucifer's ideas, so that he can steal the King of Hell's place in the entertainment industry.

In short, both Adam's previous and current designs are linked somehow to Sins, who envy Lucifer and are trying to take his place. This is an interesting motif, which confirms Adam's role as Lucifer's shadow in Hazbin Hotel. We don't know if Adam will come back to life. Still, I am sure he will keep being important for the story and future revelations will make his foiling with the Devil deeper.

These are all my thoughts on the Lead Exorcists's design! Overall, I think it is a simple and yet rich design that helps us explore the character and does a great job to characterize him in his short screen-time!

[twilightsumu]

Episode #3: The Sun Always Shines on T.V | tlou k. nanami au

Summary: The Nanamis’ and Yuji are falling into familial bliss - a game is played where Yuji and Nanami realize they both hope for the same thing. Later on when a shocking discovery rocks Nanami’s core, he realizes that their hope may just be feasible, but at the expense of Yuji and of his wife’s growing love for the young boy. 

Genre/Warnings: tlou au, post-apocalyptic setting, discussions of infection and virus outbreaks, emotional distress (guilt, fear, anger, grief), heavy themes of loss and survival, death, violence, some suggestive act goes on (mdni), talks of pregnancy, some cursing, depictions of violence done on a child, talks of blood, talks of vomiting. 

Director’s Note: What a chapter! This chapter was a lot and I fear that every chapter after is going to BE A LOT. I just love these little characters so much. Thank you for reading - your comments, likes, and reblogs mean so much to me. Can you tell that I work with children, haha? I wanted to make sure Yuji’s child-like wonder spoke to you through these words. 

Keep an eye out for a possible extra :)

Word Count: 9.1K+

The light coming in from the windows behind them almost makes them look ethereal. Soft. The orangery hues of the sunset highlights the boy’s pink hair, creating our own personalized sunset in the living room of our shabby village offered apartment. The halo of light contrasting with the glow of laughter emitting from her eyes. 

She’s sitting across from me at the dining table, something I’m still not completely used to. I miss the slight brush of our arms whenever it was just us two and I was passing the salt over. Or the way I could just bring her chair closer if I felt she was too far, she usually wasn’t. Yuji is sitting to the right of her. Both of them laughing at something that happened during their day - a shared memory they’re now allowing me to join. A little sliver of their own world. 

This is the twenty-third dinner with Yuji. There are remnants of a world that is so loud compared to our world, just for us two. It is splattered around our apartment; an extra toothbrush in the bathroom (and toothpaste all over the sink after he’s done), children's books and graphic novels scattered around the library table, and paint colors - really just smears of dirt and water - cover ripped out coloring pages on our beaten-up fridge. He never did leave. And watching them from then to now, I don’t believe she would’ve let him. And me, I’ve always had trouble saying no to her.

No one questioned the new addition to our home. No one seemed to care. This pink haired boy and his litter of questions behind him were able to fit in. No lingering glances. No memories dragged back to the failing south side fence. Just him, as my wife’s shadow. 

“Mr. Nanami?” Two pairs of eyes on me, one pair that I could get lost in for the rest of my life and another pair that questions me and I question back. 

“Yuji?” I questioned back. 

“Me and Mrs. Nan-,” 

“Mrs. Nanami and I,” she corrects him. Her voice is soft and calming. 

“Right, Mrs. Nanami and I came up with a game.” Yuji tries to hide the embarrassment from his voice from getting corrected - the tint of pink on his cheeks didn’t get the memo. “Actually, Mrs. Nanami came up with it and I liked it.” 

“It’s okay, Yuji!” She smiles. “You could take credit. I don’t think I would’ve thought of the game without you.” Yuji smiles back at her, big and bright. I swallow down that little bout of jealousy that crawls at the back of my throat when I realize just how much of a world they created. Just for them, just theirs. My invitation somehow got lost in the mail. 

“What’s the game?”

“I haven’t thought of a name yet,” she grins and my heart lunges. I feel a grin creeping onto my face too. “…but basically every night at dinner, we’ll go around and everyone will tell us something good and bad that happened during their day. And-“ 

“Don’t we do that now? When we ask how everyone’s day was?” I wondered.

“Mr. Nanami, there’s more!” Yuji bellows, earning a chuckle from my wife. Her hand reaches out to his arm that wants to excitedly pump into the air. Something I’ve noticed he does often. 

“I’m not done, Ken,” she hums. 

“Sorry, love.” I mumble, feeling the tips of my ears getting warm. 

“Okay, so we’ll tell everyone something good and bad that happened during our days. And then we’ll finish it off with a hope that we have. Make your hope be as silly - or in your case,” she pauses and points at me, the sunlight catching the gold of her wedding ring perfectly, “as serious as you want it to be.” 

I roll my eyes at her dig, hiding the chuckle that wants to escape. 

“High, low, hopeful.” Yuji hums, more to himself.

“High, low, hope,” I drawl. 

Yuji’s wide eyes meet mine, and for the first time since he came here, I see the same expression in his gaze that I see in my wife’s.

He nods so hard I’m afraid he’s going to give himself a headache before we even start the game. But I can’t stop the smile spreading on my face - Yuji’s widens as mine grows.

“Perfect name, boys!” She yelps, her hand reaching to give his pink hair a ruffle. Her eyes find mine, the most beautiful smile etched on her lips. “I’ll go first!” 

“Can I go last?”

“You’re okay going after me, Kenny?” She nods to Yuji before looking at me for my answer.

“Fine with me.” 

“My high would be…” There’s a sweet smile on her face, like she’s reminiscing on a beautiful day. “That Ken did not wake me up before I was supposed to be up.”

A laugh escapes my throat so abruptly that it surprises me, and she laughs too. Our laughs weave together like a basket of our love. I think back on the petty arguments we used to have whenever I couldn’t resist waking her before I left for work. Just to give her one more kiss. Just to see one more smile.

After we calm down, I catch Yuji staring at us. His chin rests in his (my) hoodie-covered hands, his eyes flitting between my wife next to him and me on the opposite side of the table, like he’s studying our movements, trying to learn our rhythm so he can join in on the jokes from our life. The way I catch myself doing with theirs.

“My low would probably have to be that I finished my favorite book earlier,” she hums. I remember seeing A Grief Observed tucked on her side of the shelf.

“For the hundredth time,” I tease. From the corner of my eye, I catch Yuji watching the exchange - his gaze moving from the side of her face to the front of mine.

“It’s a good book!” she shrugs.

“Anyways, I am hoping that, with some special force in the universe, my beautiful, sweet, kind husband might possibly smuggle more chocolate for our new friend and me.” She wiggles her eyebrows and nudges Yuji’s side with her elbow, making him giggle. “Your turn, Mr. Kento Nanami,” she declares, bowing her head in faux regality.

“I’ll see what I can do, my lady,” I play along, sending her a wink.

“My high today would be that I didn’t trip on Yuji’s shoes when I walked in.” I shoot a fake stern look his way, and the laugh he lets out vibrates the empty dishes on the table.

“I’ve been trying my best, Mr. Nanami,” he says bashfully, laughter still in his voice.

“It’s okay. I’ve learned to jump over them when you forget.” I make sure to send him a smile.

“Thank goodness,” my wife mutters, rolling her eyes. “Yuji, if this old man trips on your shoes again, he may just break his hip.” She throws her hands up dramatically while Yuji throws his head back in stomach-aching laughter.

I almost wish I had a camera to capture this. Proof of their tiny world, with me still lingering at the edges.

“My low would be my wife calling me an old man.”

“Are you like, super old?” Yuji asks genuinely, and now it’s my wife who’s doubled over in laughter.

I roll my eyes but can’t help the smile tugging at my mouth.

“I’m not old,” I huff. “She’s only a couple of months younger. So if I’m old, then so is she.”

She sticks her tongue out at me.

“Hope! Chop chop, Ken!”

“My hope would be…” I debate going the playful route. But then the weight of work climbs up my spine and settles there. This always happens, the loud reminder in my bones that we aren’t living in regular times. “For a cure to be found.”

There’s a stillness in the air. One I immediately regret bringing in.

“Mr. Nanami?” Yuji’s voice is small and uncertain. A strange tightness tugs in my chest. His voice is child-like, but something in it feels older than it should. “What do you need for a…” he looks up at the ceiling. I glance at my wife - her smile has turned confused. “...a cure?”

“We don’t know,” I murmured. His eyes are everywhere but our faces. “I don’t think we’ll know until we meet people who can fight the infection on their own.”

“What does tha-”

“Yuji,” my wife interrupts, her voice soft but firm. “Why don’t you do your high, low, and hope? We don’t need to get into a science talk at the table.”

She sends me a look, and I rub my hands down my thighs.

“My high is that I found a copy of a book I used to read all the time before I lost it!” Yuji’s voice immediately bounces back to his usual tone - light and full of wonder.

“How fun!” she exclaims, her excitement mirroring his.

“My low is that the last page is missing and I don’t remember how it goes,” he pouts.

“What book?” I ask.

“Oh, The Places You’ll Go.”

“Oh,” my wife shifts in her seat like she’s preparing to perform.

“‘Your mountain is waiting. So… get on your way.’”

We both watch her in awe. Yuji smiles softly, and I feel one spreading across my own face.

“What?” she asks bashfully, her eyes bouncing from Yuji to me. “It’s a great book,” she mumbles, shoulders lifted in a shy shrug.

“We’ve got a librarian in the house,” I say to Yuji.

“Shut up,” she rolls her eyes. “Your hope, Yuji?”

“My hope…” Yuji looks down at the hoodie sleeves pooled around his small hands. “For a cure to be found.”

His eyes meet mine, and in that tiny shift, I feel it - that click. Like we’ve built our own little world now, too.

-

Journal Entry #456

Takuma Ino, average built, dark hair, friend, lower level lab assistant 

On a hunt, an infected was crawling in the long weeds - near the south side entrance. Ino didn't notice - no one else on the hunt didn't either.

Ino was bit near his left ankle, 

Infected was neutralized on the spot by Suguru Geto

Ino was taken immediately back to the lab where he is now being watched for signs of infection. 

No other reaction besides being afraid. 

Has asked if I could be the one to ‘finish’ him off when the infection overtakes him

1-6 Hours Since Bite:

Regular breathing patterns 

Fear - not talking much

Bloodshot eyes (could be because lighting - super bright)

Ino was offered food (rice, toast, tea, and fruit - strawberries) 

He does not have an appetite. 

Movements are regular, he is able to walk around the closed off room. No ultra quick movements happening

Also aware of bite, keeps looking at the bitten area

Listens to directions - able to place fingers where we tell him (nose, cheeks, stomach) 

Slight shoulder tremble (the left) - I believe it is because of fear. 

The area around the bite hasn't shown any signs of swelling, only the area where contact was met. 

No sign of tiredness

8-12 Hours Since Bite:

Eyes are even more bloodshot.

Ino has no desire to eat nor drink water. 

Trembling in his left shoulder is more persistent, harder. Right shoulder has started trembling as well. (Not from fear)

Hands are fidgety, left hand is rubbing the right hard - his fingers getting caught together because of how quickly he's rubbing them together. 

Area near the left ankle (bitten area) is red, braised, and slightly oozing a yellow substance. 

Mood has drastically changed - no longer fearful. Angry and short. 

Sweating profusely 

Movements around the room are fast, without any rhythm to them.  

Still able to communicate - knows who is talking to him and what we are talking about 

Still could follow directions given to him, however it is done sloppily

Has not slept yet

14-20 Hours Since Bite:

The swelling of the bite has spread, already reaching up to the middle of his calf. (Puss is a fragrant yellow, the bite area is a maroon red, like dried blood)

Ino still has not ate - no interest whatsoever. He was offered more toast, tea, strawberries, and chocolate. 

Still sweating profusely 

Super disoriented 

Suguru Geto entered the room to check vitals - Ino shielded himself away. Retracting into the corner. 

Geto was not allowed to get the vitals 

No sleeping yet

24-30 Hours Since Bite:

He has started slightly humming - to no rhythm just a low hum coming from the back of his throat

When asked about humming - he isn’t aware of it. However, he does not stop when we question it

Eyes are erratically moving - eyes quickly move from in side of the room to the other before narrowing down on one spot before quickly averting to something else

Communication has ceased - he understands what we are saying and would comply but he isn’t talking back. 

Hasn’t said a world since the 25th hour mark. 

Will only comply with things that Kento Nanami (me) says through the microphones. 

Does not react to other lab assistants

Sight of food enraged him - was offered the same food as before and furiously threw to the side

Skin had taken on a yellow/jaundice coloring. 

Lips are pale 

Eyes are cloudy and pupils are overblown - and his eyes are still bloodshot 

Hands can’t stay still, pulling at his hair, running along his legs, arms, anything he could touch on his body.  

48 Hours Since Bite: 

Ino Subject is no longer a reliable source of data

Subject has stopped responding to any stimuli.

The hum has gotten louder - like a swarm of bees erupting from his chest 

Subject’s entire left leg has swelled, yellow puss is leaking from pores, thick crimson veins are scattered from the bite up to his groin. 

Very sensitive to sound - screeches or bare teeth when a sound passes into his threshold. (Sounds as quiet as whispers from lab assistants passing by subjects room)

At any slight movement or sound - subject is ready to attack (pounces on walls, the door, the humming intensifies)

No form of life in eyes - very clouded, vacant look. 

Subject was neutralized by me and buried past the South Gate entrance. 

-

Ino’s hat is in my back pocket, a revolver in the waistband of my jeans, my journal tucked in my arms, and tiredness rattling the inside of my bones.

My wife is walking next to me, our hands together - mine holding on a little tighter. Yuji is a few beats ahead of us, kicking rocks as he walks. Every couple of steps, he steps into a light cloud of dust.

The sun is setting. The usual orangey skies are grayish, storm clouds rolling in and making the sky look almost ominous. Like it’s going to swallow us whole and not let us out. A few shops on the south side of the village are still open - their lights elongating our shadows, lighting up the path to the gray sky.

I’m so deep in thought that I don’t even notice we’re steps away from the gate. It looks even more shoddy in the nightfall - the fence around it is misshapen, and on the left, I can make out the little opening where Yuji must’ve been sneaking in. An opening so small to my frame, I can’t imagine how he maneuvered through without causing a ruckus… or even getting hurt in the process.

Help yourself help others, is scribbled on the failing fence. I almost want to scoff out loud now when reading the motto that is forced down our throats. I quickly avert my eyes back to Yuji’s opening. 

Since the lab assistants and I do regular patrols around this area beyond the gate, I assume that’s why it’s not as well maintained as the north side. Still, three days ago being a prime example - we’ve seen an influx of straggler-type infected laying low here. I’m surprised Yuji made it out on his own.

“You okay?” she asks, head tilted up to meet my face. Her hand is so warm, so soft in mine. It makes me forget about the three days at the lab. It almost makes me forget about losing a friend - no, a coworker.

I shrug, feeling more tired than anything. I reach in my back pocket, and the feeling of Ino’s hat makes my chest hurt a little. The sun is almost fully down now, the moonlight peeking through the storm clouds. If I train my ears, I can hear the low rumble of thunder rolling in.

“Mrs. Nanami!” Yuji yells, waving his hand in the air to get her attention. He’s standing a little ways away from us, the graying sky behind him clashing with his yellow hoodie, wide bright brown eyes, and pink hair. A happy sunrise melting into a storm-ridden night.

“Is it okay if I check this out?” He throws his thumb behind him, pointing to logs piled up against the leaning fence. Logs that are supposed to be used to reinforce this side.

The pile is stacked hazardously -  logs balanced on top of each other, basically making a narrow alley between the stack and the fence it leans against. Yuji looks so small standing next to it. The logs go up at least seven feet high. It looks daunting during the day, and in the graying sky it looks even more so. 

Yuji is bouncing on the balls of his feet, waiting for the okay to run off. His hands are fidgeting near his pockets and that usual boyish grin smeared across his face. 

“What is so interesting about a pile of sticks?” I whisper to her.

“I don’t have an answer for you,” she says, a light laugh leaving her lips. Her eyes are on Yuji, so I could only see the side of her face. The light breeze twirling her hair around her ear, shielding her eyes away from me even more. “He finds joy and playfulness in everything,” she shrugs, a content smile tugging at her mouth. “Or he’s about to climb and jump off of them and possibly break his leg or something. I don’t know.” A gust of wind brushes past us, carrying the concern laced in her voice around us.

“Sure, Yuji!” she nods, and Yuji is already turning to head over. “Just make sure you tie your shoes!” she yells after him. 

With that, Yuji runs off. Puffs of dust trailing behind him as he kicks off and heads to a makeshift playground that is most definitely going to be the creator of broken bones. 

She sighs next to me, a wistful sigh leaving her mouth. She quickly averts her eyes from the running boy and looks at me. Her eyes remorseful and the grip on my hand a little tighter. 

“You never answered if you were okay or not?” 

“I shrugged. Isn’t that an answer,” I answer, hating the tone that I am using with her. 

“No, that isn’t an actual answer, smart ass,” she huffs, rolling her eyes towards the evening sky. There isn’t any annoyance evident in her actions. 

“I’ll be okay, I guess,” I reply, watching her watch me - as if she's looking for another answer I know only she could coax out of me. “I’m just tired,” I finished, averting my eyes to the employee entrance. Where Ino and I last walked together, just a couple of days ago. 

“Physically or emotionally?” 

“Both,” her thumb rubs my knuckles. “I’m getting tired of watching people get taken by this…” I stop and just look ahead at the gravesite I’m about to walk through to get to Ino’s plot. 

“Want me to go with you?” 

“No, it’s alright,” I take my hand out of hers, reaching for the hat in the back pocket and shivering at the cold revolver pressing into my back. “I don’t want to smuggle you in,” I try to joke, earning a very stern look and another eye roll, one that has annoyance etched into it. “Also, one of us should be watching Yuji on that death trap.” I point my thumb to the log playground where we see Yuji trying to climb on the structure. 

“I’m pretty sure that boy could live through anything,” she laughs, a real one. Not one being masked with concern or the weight of my feelings, or the scary gray sky that wants to swallow us. A laugh like the days before there were infected crawling around, before we had to squeeze into this shabby apartment, or before that pink hair kid eased his way into our homes and her heart. When it was just us. 

“I’ll be here, even if you don’t need me,” she smiles, her left hand squeezing my shoulder as I start my walk out the safety of her laugh and deeper into the graying sky. 

“You know I’ll always need you.” 

“I know,” she says to my back, and I feel the warmth of this little interaction fighting with the warmth of Ino’s hat. 

As soon as I walk out of the gate, a light rain starts and I try to speed walk to Ino’s recently dug up grave. His is actually not that far from the entrance I am walking through, but with the heaviness of the day and the sludge on the ground below me, the walk is longer than I anticipated. 

There is a sort of peaceful eeriness weaving through the air. It is quiet, dark, and the light raindrops are starting to feel nice on my clammy skin. But at the same time, the quiet was that type that took hold of your bones and held you down, with a promise that something is going to happen. The quiet that keeps your head on a swivel because you're not sure what is going to catch you in its grasp. 

I make it to the unnamed plot - the one I dug up alone and the one where I had to set Ino’s infected riddled body into earlier this morning. I am not completely sure what to do here or why I even decided to come to his plot. I have seen multiple people be taken from this infection, I am aware that there are no words to be had before and after the ordeal. It happens and then they're gone. 

I am squatting right by the plot, Ino’s hat now in my hands and my journal laying by my feet. I do not know what to say, or do, or even think. Again, I am not sure why I am here. 

I place his hat on the plot, knowing by tomorrow, the wind might just flitter it away with his dreams and inspirations as well. 

“I’m sorry,” I say to the air, hoping that wherever Ino is, he knows how sorry I am. 

I stay there for a minute, a feeling of sorrow that I know we'll never escape filling my chest. 

Right before I hear it, there is stillness in the air. A bird flying by and giving a calling cry to warn others of the storm brewing. And then a scream, so bone chilling, I freeze for a second. Then, I hear it again and I register that it is my wife's voice. A scream I have never heard, from her.

My blood runs cold and I run as fast I could to her. 

I’m met with a bleeding Yuji, clutching his left arm. His eyes were so wide, even in the dimming evening sky I could make out his brown orbs. My wife is a few feet away from him, her back to me but I catch the fear that's radiating through her shivering body.

Coming out of that little alleyway is an infected - the person could not have been older than Yuji. In torn clothing, a purple graphic tee with a cartoon character I have no idea is, ripped up blue jeans and no shoes. Their matted hair is separated in two pigtails, obviously telling me someone cared enough to have their hair done. The infected is moving so slowly, like a slug on a very wet branch. Their hand grabbing into the earth and pulling their limp legs behind them as they crawl towards the three of us. A slight tremble in their movement, as if it hurts them to move at all. 

Their yellowish eyes are locked on Yuji, who is jumping away and still clutching his arm. The one that's bleeding, the left sleeve of his hoodie ripped. The infected’s face is riddled with grime and dried blood I would assume. Their protruding veins make the grime stand out even more. Their face in a permanent scowl, as if they are blaming us for the way they are. As if there is something we could do. 

The scene freezes me in place. I feel every ounce of blood drain into the puddle at my feet.  The infected was laying low, possibly even trying to find shelter - just like what Yuji did for three months before she smuggled him in. I don’t give much thought on how my heart sank, imagining this could have been Yuji’s fate instead. 

Yuji must have been caught off guard - bitten before he could even jump out of the way. The alleyway between the logs and the fence is a perfect breeding place for scary things to be hiding in the shadows. 

In one quick, but devastating movement, just as thunder rang out and shook the ground below us. I took out my revolver and shot the infected, talking them out of their misery but filling the air with more. A yelp rings out of Yuji, as his eyes filter down to the dead infected and his grip on his left arm tightens. I move my revolver to point at the pink haired boy. 

“Kento. Yuji needs help,” I ignore her. The duty of knowing what I have to do weighs so heavy on my shoulders, I feel like I'm about to be dragged down to hell. She starts to inch closer to him, her arms out. Like a mother to their child that just scraped their knee. 

“Get behind me,” I rush out, almost reaching out to drag her back. Her movement is quick but hesitant. She turns to me, fear in her eyes and she softly shuffles behind me. I feel her tug at my jacket. 

Yuji is watching us, like he does at the dinner table. His eyes wide and his feet shuffling from side to side. Whenever our eyes catch each other's, he skips the revolver being pointed to him and stares at me, as if he's trying to worm himself into my brain to see what I'm thinking. I feel sick, and I hope he can pick up on that. 

“We could help him,” she whispers. And at this moment, I realized I haven't heard a word come out of Yuji’s mouth. It makes me uncomfortable thinking about this boy who talks through everything being as quiet as the night sky. The gun feels wrong being pointed at him.

For the first time ever I don't want to use it - even if it's to protect her. 

“And how will we do that?” I say, my eyes are not leaving Yuji’s. The heavy rain is making the blood wash off him. 

“How are you feeling?” I call out to him. I ignore how stupid this all is, I know how he is feeling. I know what happens next. 

“I promise I’m okay!” He yells, he moves his hands above his ears. His wide eyes are bouncing from the revolver, my wife, and I. It's as if right at this moment, he understood the implication for what was about to happen. “This has happened before and I was okay,” he rushes out. 

Everything inside me slams to a stop. As if a wire has snapped in my chest. As if the earth, the rain, the boy - none of it makes sense anymore. 

“What do you mean this happened before?” I say, trying to steady my voice. I feel bile making its way up my throat. 

“With my Grandpa,” his voice is lower, his eyes quickly looking at his shoes, “I got bit before, when I was with him.”

“You knew about this?” I steady my voice, briefly glancing at my wife. She’s standing so still, I could mistake her as one of the logs from the death trap behind him. 

I do not know how to take this statement. Is he lying to get out of me having to kill him?

“No,” she whispers, finally moving by shaking her head gently. A huge raindrop falls on my glasses frame and the moment looks distorted before the drop slides down. “Yuji, what do you mea-“

“I could show you the other bite mark,” he whispers, his eyes filled with guilt rather than fear. “Is it okay if I move to show you?” His eyes are staring back into mine, as if this is the little world we created but instead of laughs and painting like the one he created with my wife - ours is overflowing with fear, questions, and the fact that neither of us would ever truly know the other. It brings me back to that little moment we had at the dinner table during our game. We thought we understood each other but here we are - questioning the intentions of the other. 

At this very moment, it’s as if she didn’t speak. As if we can’t both see her trembling, as if I can’t feel her breathe. It’s just our world - the pink haired alien and I. A world I never asked to be apart. One that was thrust into my home and etched its way into every little thing that I do. 

I don’t know what to do at this moment. The revolver feels heavy and my hands are so sweaty I think it’s about to slip out of my hand anyway. The rain is picking up and moving with the cold sweat dripping from my body. The warmth of Ino’s hat and my wife’s laugh from some time ago has disappeared. 

“Are you going to hurt me if I move, Nanami?” The informalness of the questions throws me off guard. His usual child-like voice is cold, hard, and wobbling with guilt. 

“He isn’t, I promise Yu-“

“Mr. Nanami, are you going to h-“

Words fail to leave my mouth, so I just shake my head no. However, I dont drop the revolver, it is getting heavier by the minute. 

Yuji moves slowly, not dropping his eyes from mine and it truly feels like we are the only two people on the planet. Just us two and his bites. 

He hikes up the leg of his right pants leg, and there it is - even in the light of the moon and the haziness of the rain falling in front of us. A bite, the veins protruding and the scar is enough to make my breath hitch in my chest and I feel like I need an asthma pump to help me get my breathing flowing again. 

“I just slept after and nothing happened,” he shrugs his shoulders. 

“Slept?”

“Yes, my Grandpa said I slept for fifteen hours after,” the child-like humor is in his voice, his eyes are still wide with guilt. 

“You don’t sleep after getting bit. No one we have studied sleeps after,”  I narrow my eyes at him. 

“Well I did,” he says back, a defensive tone I have never heard in his voice bites hard and I'm taken back. 

“I’m telling you I am fine,” the fear and guilt is starting to escape his voice. He wants to be understood, believed. 

“What else happened,” I pointed my chin down at his leg, “when you got bit?” 

“It itched,” he shrugs, as if we’re asking about a mosquito bite. “Nothing else happened. Not that I really remember,” his bloodied arm reached to scratch at the back of his head. Red streaks of blood mixing with his pink hair. 

“You’re telling me that your body fought this infection by sending you to sleep for fifteen hours and having the bite mark be itchy?” Work rushes to my mind. Is he what we need? Is this boy who my wife smuggled in the answer? 

“I guess,” he shrugs his shoulders again. I don't miss the eye roll, as if he is the one being bothered by the discovery of what this could do for everyone. 

“I could maybe find some ointment,” my wife’s voice from behind us brings us both back from our world. His eyes are questioning, as if he forgot she was here, as if it is hard to believe she would do that. "To help with the itchiness."

The domesticity she is bringing to this fucked situation angers me for a minute. I roll off the tension from my shoulders and keep my eyes trained on Yuji. 

“You don't have to do that Mrs. Nanami,” he smiles at her. “I’ll be fine. I promise.”

“I know you would be Yuji,” she whispers back and I don't miss how Yuji’s eyes widen with trust, with love. Happy to be believed.

I ignore their little moment and think back to dinner a couple days ago, when we first played that game and our hopes. I think back to Ino and just watching this infection eat his body, mind, and soul for days. Think back to work and Geto, the fears of having to watch experiments be done on pregnant women for a cure. 

A cure. 

A person able to fight the infection. 

A cure. 

Instead of fear and confusion, hope starts to course its way into my chest. Mixed with guilt, because what does this mean for Yuij? What does this mean for my wife and her love for this child? 

“I just want to sleep now,” Yuji says, a yawn ripping out of his chest. The rain is pelting us hard. “Is that okay if we go home?” 

I want to tell him yes. I know she wants to tell him yes. We’ll take you to our home. But now, home is a battlefield too. 

-

The lights are off, the moon highlighting little things around the living room. A spotlight on Yuji’s blue backpack. His red shoes - the ones I tripped over this morning. A copy of an old Spider-Man comic and Oh, The Places You’ll Go that are tucked in the cushion where his head lays. The old, rickety fan wobbles on the coffee table in front of the couch where Yuji lies sleeping, the moonlight shining on him so brightly I’m shocked he hasn’t covered his eyes with the quilt. He looks calm - hands curled under his squished cheek, pink hair messily plastered to his forehead. He’s curled up in a fetal position. He looks smaller than he actually is. Somehow, there's still the feather of a grin on his lips.

Next to me, she shifts, and from the movement alone, I can tell she’s antsy. Either from what we possibly found out, the implication of what this means for us.. for him, or... everything.

I still feel numb, like I’m floating on a gray cloud that’s waiting to erupt into a storm. A cold sweat is still coating my back and making my hands feel slimy. 

“Kento,” she whispers, her hand grazing mine. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

I smile softly, hiding the chuckle that wants to escape at her childish phrasing. Her hand is fully in mine now, our cool wedding bands brushing as our warmer hands press together and the movement makes me feel grounded at the moment. Her question almost made me forget what we have sleeping in front of us. 

“If you’re referring to Yuji, then yes. We’re thinking about the same thing,” I whisper back. “How could we not?” My voice seems like it belongs to someone else, it sounds vacant and chilling even to my own ears. 

Her hand twitches in mine, the movement so sudden that I shift my eyes from the boy on our couch to her tense frame beside me.

“I don’t think we’re on the same page,” she admits. She’s still staring at Yuji. The rickety fan sends strands of hair swaying near her ear.

“What do you mean?” I keep my voice even. “What page are you on?” I bring our joined hands into my lap and look back toward Yuji.

“We’re not giving him to science,” she whispers so fast I would’ve missed it if I’d moved. “I know he seems like a breakthrough, but we can’t do that to him.” In the dim light, the sadness in her voice adds another layer to the eerie quiet of the day.

“Are you asking me or telling me?”

“Both, I guess,” she says, letting go of my hand to rub both of hers down her face. “He’s just a child, Kento.”

“I know. You remind me every time we talk about him,” I say, my voice hard. 

From the corner of my eye I watch her turn to look at me. Her eyes filled with an emotion I don’t think I would’ve ever seen from her - distrust. I almost want to run to the bathroom and hurl. Her eyes are racking over the side of my body, the same side she wakes up too whenever we somehow end up in a different sleeping position than our regular one. 

The foreign look in her eyes throws me off because it's the first time I've seen it etched into her eyes. Eyes I have memorized, the way she has memorized the words from A Grief Observed. Even then, I don't think that the feeling shouldn't be running through her. I do not know if I deserve her trust when it comes to Yuji. Not if I'm sitting here wondering what we could trade him for. A cure? Safety? To go back to when it was just us again? 

“The world shouldn’t be placed on his shoulders just because he might be useful to someone’s plan.” Her words float through the room like a sad melody. “I know your loyalties lie with the sc-”

“My loyalties lie with you,” I cut in, a huff escaping me, annoyance melting into my voice. Her hand slides back into mine, palm to palm, and presses gently. I almost shudder at the touch this time around. 

Yuji shifts on the couch. A soft snore slips from his lips, and his left foot kicks the quilt halfway off. There’s no sign of infection threading through his bloodstream, nothing waiting to take his life - or ours. Just a kid. Just a sleeping child who makes you want to curl up beside him on the floor and fall asleep too. Bodies nestled together, warm, safe, loved.

“Ken,” she sighs. “If anyone finds out what he is…” She pauses. “We won’t get to choose what happens next.” Another sigh, but this one catches in her throat. “I don’t want to lose him too,” she confesses.

Her words gnaw their way into my chest. A part of me -  the part that should be angry that she’s poked a hole in our little bubble - realizes it doesn’t want to lose him either. I don’t even know what to do with him, but the idea of him being gone. I know it’ll hurt her in ways I’m too selfish to understand. 

“But, thi-”

“No. I don’t care what ‘this’ is,” she shakes her head slightly, eyes still on Yuji. “…He deserves to climb that mountain.” And I smile faintly at the book reference from a few days ago.

“If he makes that choice?” I ask, the pressure of work and our discovery quickly washing the smile off my face. 

“He can make the choice, but…” Her voice trails off into silence. “…It’s not going to be given to him,” she says finally, gripping my hand tighter. “He’s going to be a child, and I want us to make sure of that.” 

“They want to start experimenting on pregnant women,” I whisper into the night. The conversation that has been haunting my thoughts since I had to take part of it finally entered the air stream to be heard by someone else. 

“That has nothing to do with him,” she whispers back. I don’t miss the shock that’s evident in her voice though. 

I don’t think I could hide the anger bubbling in my gut. The dismissal of others putting their lives on the line and losing their lives with an ugly infection. 

“Why do you want to save him?” 

“Because no one else would,” there’s no anger in her voice. She doesn’t want to fight. But her words are definite and filled with a hopeful tint and I can’t understand where it’s coming from. 

I know she is right. I know how it feels to fiercely protect something that is yours. But knowing, it doesn't make the anger any less suffocating. 

Not knowing what to say, we sat in a silence that crawled up my back - thick with the weight of today, my wife’s words protecting this boy, and the horrors of my job.

Eventually, she sleepily shuffled off to bed, and I stayed.

Just sitting there.

Watching the boy.

Sitting in the questions that kept brewing in my gut, the snores of the possible infected boy, and the waft of breeze coming from the rickety fan. Sitting there more infected with hope than I wanted to admit.

-

My eyes are heavy, like the curtains blocking the rosy colors of the sunrise trying to peek into the room. There’s barely any light - just the soft glow that creeps in under a doorway. Funnily enough, those thin streaks of light are hitting the boy on our couch perfectly.

If it weren’t for that light, I would’ve missed the way his eyes opened and how he immediately gripped his chest. Like he was in pain; not physical, but emotional. The kind of pain that makes you clutch your shirt like something’s trying to rip your heart out. His eyes are wide, his hands tightly gripping the hoodie.

I’m sitting on the couch across from him, so still I can’t even feel myself breathe. My thoughts are bouncing between my wife in the bedroom and the switchblade Yuji had, now tucked in the waistband of my pajama pants. I’ve been up all night, barely breathing, just waiting. Waiting to see if what he said was true. Waiting to see if I’d have to kill a child to protect my wife. Waiting to see if he’d be okay.

What kind of man am I, waiting for a child to prove that he deserves to live? 

Yuji’s fully awake now. His breathing is steady, and in the little light, his eyes look normal, just tired. His movements are exactly what you’d expect from someone coming out of sleep. He’s small, fragile. A child. His bedhead is almost laughable, and his fists are tight, one at his chest, the other rubbing sleep from his eyes. He opens his mouth in soft little yawns, one after another.

“Show it to me,” I say into the quiet room.

Yuji jumps a little and snaps his head toward me. His eyes are wide, lips pulled into a guilty frown. I ignore the way it makes my chest ache.

He lifts the sleeve of his left arm quickly, almost too quickly, trying to prove that what he told us was true. His arm looks too thin, too small. Like he never had a chance to fight back. The bandages she wrapped around his arm before he fell asleep are still tight, and underneath... It just looks like a regular bite. As if he got into a scuffle on the school playground and the other kid bit him. Swollen, but not infected. 

I check the clock. It’s almost been twelve hours. By now, it should be bruised, oozing pus. He should be trembling, sweating, short of breath. But he’s not. He shouldn't even be waking up from a nap.

Here is a boy, just sitting here. Afraid, remorseful, human. 

And I am the man who spent all night sitting here, hand on a weapon, his weapon- waiting to kill him if he twitched wrong. Waiting to see if we could use his body for some problem he did not create. 

The thought is ugly and crawls up my throat like bile. 

“Show me the other bite.”

He hikes up the right leg of his pants, and again, nothing. Just a scarred leg with a possible bite mark. The veins around it are slightly dark, the vine-like veins around the bite are protruding, but that’s all. No swelling. No pus. Nothing I’ve seen before on a recently bit or infected person.

Just the leg of a child who trusted us enough to fall asleep on our couch. 

“Where is Mrs. Nanami?” he asks, voice soft, childlike. Like a toddler asking for their favorite teddy bear.

I want to ignore him. I want to tell him he doesn’t deserve to know. That I don’t want him anywhere near her because he’s not safe.

“She’s in bed,” I say instead, jerking a thumb toward the bedroom. “She stayed up for a while to make sure you were okay.”

“I know.” He shifts upright, eyes still locked on the floor. “I know I said I didn’t get bit,” he says, his voice quieter now, almost shaking. “But I did. You know now. I should’ve just told you.”

I nod, even though he isn’t looking at me.

“I didn’t say anything because… I know what happens when people get bit.” He glances up at me, and I remember having to point a weapon at him. “I didn’t want to die.”

His voice is so soft I have to lean forward just to hear it.

“You could’ve told her,” I say. Because I know, and he knows, that she would’ve protected him. She believes him.

“I didn’t want you to be mad at her,” he whispers back. The realization that in his own little way, he was protecting my wife has me moving to readjust my glasses. He is not afraid for himself. He is afraid for her. 

We go quiet. The only sound is his occasional yawn, soft and sleepy. It hums through the room, warm and sad.

“Mr. Nanami?” he asks, eyes wide and searching. “Remember when we were playing that game and started talking about a cure?”

“Yeah,” I say, my heart already sinking. But my brain jumps back to that talk with Geto. My brain jumps to the possibilities he may be able to bring. 

“You think…” He shrugs, shoulders curling toward his ears. “You think since I’m okay… they could fix all this?” He gestures with a little circle of his hand.

“You should get more sleep,” I say, ignoring the question. Because the answer is too big, too dangerous, and too unclear. Because what he’s asking could change everything, or destroy him, maybe even possibly destroy my wife and I. 

This is Yuji and I’s world - a ticking time bomb of questions that neither of us could answer. 

“I’m sorry for lying.” He curls further into the couch, legs folded beneath him. “I’m sorry for knowing.”

That last part hits me hard. Like something’s slammed into my chest. It does not sound like a child apologizing for a mistake, but a confession. The anger and confusion are gone for a minute. Now I’m just sitting in despair. 

“It’s okay,” I say, finally. “You’re just a child.”

-

A couple days later…

Her legs are straddling my hips. One of my hands is tangled in her hair as I pull her face closer to mine. Our lips are locked in a fight of power. Hungry. Urgent. My other hand is not so gently gripping her hip, acting as a grounding act between us. I don’t miss the slight, teasing grind against me.

“Ken,” she whines, breaking the kiss. My lips, wanting to stay busy - starts trailing kisses down from her jaw to her delicate neck. “We have to be quiet,” she whispers. 

“Huh?” I mutter on her collarbone, already tugging my shirt up and over her head. She leans back to help, introducing more skin for my mouth to chase. “Why?” 

“Because we have a kid in our living room,” she mumbles. 

“We don’t have a kid,” I mumble, my lips finding their way back to her jawline. “And what? People with kids still have sex,” 

“Mrs. Nanami?” I hear the creak of the floorboard right outside our bedroom. “Mr. Nan-“ 

“One second,” we both yell in unison. I throw the blanket over myself - hiding a very obvious situation. My wife rushes to find the shirt we just discarded. Once found, she’s running to the door, sending me a playful wink before creaking the door open. 

“Hi Yuji,” she answers breathlessly, her hands smoothing down her hair. “Are you okay?” The warmth in her voice sends a little pang of guilt to my chest.

“I think so,” I can’t see him, but I could imagine that awkward, boyish grin etched on his face. “I think something is going on, though.” 

“Something with you?” I ask, harder than I intended. I start to inch out of the bed, looking for my own pants around the floor. My wife looks back at me, sending me a sharp look. 

“No, uh, not me,” he says softly and I instantly regret my previous tone. “Outside. I hea-“ before he could finish, I heard it too. 

A shriek.

Then another. 

Then several - shrill. All different tones and melodies to them, creating a soundtrack from a nightmare.

They sound far away. But close enough, I feel the hairs on the back of my neck start to prick. They shouldn’t be so close to our home. At least, the sound of how many are coming our way. 

“Hear what?” My wife shyly asks - as if she's embarrassed that she isn’t in on what we could hear. I don’t miss the waiver of fear that trembles at the end of her question. She turns around to give me a look, and she sees that my pants are on and I’m looking outside of our window. “Ken?” She whispers.

“Both of you,” I say as I start looting around our room. “Get dressed now!” I bark. 

I hear Yuji’s feet running back to the living room and it takes me a couple seconds to realize, I don’t hear my wife. 

I turn towards her and she isn’t moving.

Not even breathing hard like I am.

She is standing in the middle of the room like she forgot how to be a person. 

Arms crossed, hugging herself, nails digging into the sleeves. 

Shoulders hunched up around her ears.

Her hands are trembling so hard I can see them from across the room. Her lips are parted but no sound is coming out.

It's not fear. 

It's heartbreak. 

“Again?” Her whole body seems to ask before she lets it slip from her lips. “We have to leave and run again?” 

“Do you trust me?” I say, walking towards her. My eyes are not on her, as they are shifting through our room looking for things that are easy to pick up. I notice A Grief Observed laying on her bookshelf, and I make a mental note to grab it on the way out. 

All I hear is her breathing; shallow, uneven, like she's holding the world's weight in her lungs. A part of me itches to run to her, to take her face between my hands and make sure she is still here with me - here and real and willing. She is still mine. 

“Yes,” she breathes out. Yuji thrashing around in the living room and the chaos rising outside is louder than she is. 

I finally look over at her properly and for a moment, the fear vanishes. 

Just like that night five years ago, the moonlight catches her in a soft halo, outlining her trembling figure in silver. The way her knees slightly buckle, then stiffen, like she's fighting every instinct that screams at her collapse.

Even now, she looks so heartbreakingly beautiful that my breath catches at the bottom of my throat. The world outside howls. But here, for just a second, it's only her and me and the moon.

“We’ll be okay,” I whisper, closing some distance between us. On the floor between us, the moonlight reflects her restless hands, my arms reaching out both our shadows stretching and overlapping. “We made it out okay before.” 

“All of us. All three of us,” She says, her voice cracking as she avoids my eyes. “Will we be okay?”

I hesitate. Just a beat too long. Almost as if I forgot the weight that Yuji now carries in our lives. 

“Sure,” I say. “All three of us.” But even as I say it, I'm grabbing only two bags. Moving on instinct. Pretending I don't feel the weight of that slip between my ribs. 

“Two minutes,” I yell into the apartment, because if I stay in this moment, if I look at her again under that terrible, beautiful moonlight, I won't move at all. 

Masterlist | Last Episode | Song of the Episode | Next Episode

TWILIGHTSUMU — do not copy, translate, repost or modify my works on any platform.

[cwwv9]

Hello hello are you open for request? I like your writings sm especially the recent one since, hiori's included. So id like to request a oneshot for hiori. Scenario: So first it would take place in the early stage of relationship/dating and stuff, then at one time hiori saw his s/O have a let's say merch of a video game he likes, when hiori asked about it, his s/o starts yapping happily saying she likes the game and she's very into the story line and worldbuilding and and shes also a fan of many video games with some of them hiori likes too, saying that she plays games mainly on her phone (PvP, moba, be, fps, etc. ) also adding that since she can't afford having her own pc and stuff to play games(shawty is broke lol), she only plays on what's available on phone and of course free. Even though she doesn't play the game herself she watches playthroughs even if it takes many hours and staying up late. So, hiori finds it exciting(like points increased) to learn that they share the same interests , and he suggested that they could play together and try the games she wants or watch him play. Here's my idea, if you ever consider this, thanks in advance. ꉂ(ˊᗜˋ*)♡

-craving for fics that include hiori fr fr.

«Our world on the screen»

— Without gender!Reader x Hiori Yo

Genres: romance, fluff, everyday life, first kiss, light sensuality.

Warning: the fanfic contains a soft novel, emotional intimacy, scenes with rain, running in the rain and warm physical contact.

Note: I love to write about the hiori, he’s my favorite boy! I hope you enjoy this drawing!

I want to thank you again for writing such a request! This helps me a lot to know which characters I can confidently include in the request on a permanent basis. because I don’t know who the readers are waiting for ((

mailbox open for queries!!!

You were sitting on the floor of your room, cross-legged, leaning into the phone screen.

The sun was already setting, shining a soft orange light, and you didn’t even notice how fast time flew by. Next to you lay an old pillow, a couple of open packs of snow chips and headphones, one of which had fallen out of your ear several times. You watched the game you loved - the one you once loved and dreamed of playing.

There was a quiet knock outside the door.

- Hi... can I? - said the familiar, warm voice of Hiori.

You immediately pulled out the headphones, smiling.

-Sure! Come on in!

He walked in, a little unsure of the threshold - as if he was afraid to disturb your world. He was wearing a dark blue hoodie, with a little bit of loose hair and an attentive look, which immediately fell on the small shelf at the wall. There was a figure from the same game - one of the iconic characters.

Hiori frowned with a slight surprise, came closer.

- That’s... do you know this game? he asked cautiously, as if he were afraid of being intrusive.

Your eyes are on fire.

– Oh, yes! I love it! - you rose sharply from the floor and close to the bottom, smiling wider than usual. - Plot, characters, world... everything is just crazy cool! I have seen so many walks that I know almost every location by heart!

Hiori blinked without concealing a slight surprise.

When you saw his reaction, you got even more excited, as if someone finally understood the passion that you were hiding in yourself.

– I really don’t have a computer... - you added slightly quieter, almost apologizing. - I play mostly on my phone. Everything you can: PvP, moba, battle-royals, shooters... anything that holds my poor phone.

You chuckled, showing off your battered machine with a cracked back cover.

- But I always keep track of my favorite games! I watch streaks, I spend the nights in a flying show... well, you know.

Hiori was silent for a few seconds. There was a new, strange gleam in his eyes - not cold, not neutral as usual. Something war...

- So... do you like games too? he finally asked a little softer, as if he was afraid the answer would be a dream.

You nodded so forcefully that your hair went up.

– Then... - He squeezed his hands in his pockets, as if he was gathering with spirit. - Do you want to... play together? Or I can show you something. Something you’ve wanted to try for a long time.

Your eyes widened, and a child’s stupid smile flashed across your face.

- Seriously? You really want to?

He nodded slightly, smiling softly, allowing himself for the first time a genuine smile - one you rarely saw

- I would like to. With you.

At which you shouted and began to grunt, squealing joyfully, that knocked Hiori off his feet.

After a couple of days you were sitting in his room.

His laptop was slowly loading the same game, and you, leaning against the screen, waited impatiently. Hyory watched you stealthily, with a slight embarrassment on his cheeks. He had never seen you like this - alive, bright,

You talked nonstop, talking about your favorite characters, about the moments that gave you the creeps and the moments that gave you the tears.

Hiori caught every word you said.

He was unaccustomed... so warm.

He felt that there was an invisible connection between you - not only through the screens and game stories, but through the real feelings.

When you first picked up the mouse, he carefully covered your palm with his, directing movements.

You’ve been a little bumpy, feeling how close he is.

- It’s all right, he whispered, his voice was soft as silk. I’m there.

You turned to meet his gaze. For a moment, time stood still.

And then you both laughed quietly.

Just, like a child. Clean. As if there was nothing more important than this moment.

Since then, the shared evenings have become your little tradition.

Sometimes you played what you loved. Sometimes he showed you his favorite games. And sometimes you just sat around watching long streaks, chuckling with quiet phrases and laughing at funny moments.

And every time Hiori looked at you, excited and happy, he felt like he was doing the right thing.

He chose you.

And I would like to make this choice again and again.

Over time, it became something more than just shared evenings.

Sometimes you went to the city together - without a plan, without clear routes. Just walking around discussing the latest game updates or arguing about which of the characters deserves more recognition.

Today was special.

Hyory first offered to go to a small video game store, which, according to him, «only those who really know the subject» knew about.

You gladly agreed, anticipating how you will rummage together in the shelves and find rare things.

The store was tiny, drowned in an alley among cafes and shops. Inside smelled of old paper, plastic and something... warm, almost homely.

You wandered for a long time between the shelves, picking up posters, discs, figurines. You found things that you once dreamed of seeing live, and Hiori quietly watched your reactions, each time more deeply penetrating some new, unexplored feeling.

In the end, you chose an inexpensive figurine - a character that you both liked. Hjori insisted on buying it at his own expense.

- Consider it... the beginning of our collection, he said, turning away slightly, as if embarrassed.

You only smiled warmly, unable to find the right words.

The evening has fallen quickly.

You walked through dark alleys, illuminated only by dim lanterns.

In the bag you had in your hands quietly ringing figure. In the air smelled of damp, and somewhere far away lazy rain splashed. It hasn’t started yet, but it was hanging in heavy drops above its heads.

- Today was great, said Hiori quietly, breaking her silence.

- Yes... - you said. The voice was softer than you expected. Almost unconsciously, your hand held the bag tighter. - Thank you for calling.

He nodded, and you continued to walk in silence. But between you there was a strange shiver, as if from an electrostatic discharge - something that was stronger than words.

Hiori suddenly slowed down, and then stopped altogether.

You stopped, too, turning to him.

The damp air enveloped the skin. The wind tingled the hair slightly.

Hoori stood in front of me without saying a word. In his eyes, the reflection of the lanterns was glistening - timid, almost unsure, but at the same time so frank that the breath caught me for a moment.

He came half a step closer.

You felt his warmth, heard his breath.

- May?.. he asked a little.

Your heart has missed its beat.

The answer was obvious.

You nodded.

Barely noticeable, almost hesitantly, Hiori approached. His hand gently touched your cheek - a slight, almost weightless touch. He leaned forward, slowly, as if giving you time to change your mind, to distance yourself... but you didn’t make a move.

His lips touched yours - at first awkward, timid.

A short, warm, moist kiss, smelling of rain and late evening.

He’s gone for a split second, and he looks at you again. And then, bolstered by courage, he came back with a deeper kiss - already a little more confident, a little more greedy, as if he understood that there was nothing to lose.

The rain has finally touched the earth with the first rare drops, mixing with the heat of your breath.

And in that sudden, almost unreal moment you realized:

Even if the whole world were to collapse, you have already built yours.

On a blinking screen. In quiet evenings. On soft touches.

Reciprocated.

The drops of rain became thicker, heavier on the skin and clothes.

You only got away from Hiori when the sky suddenly shook, and the first large drop rolled down his cheek.

- We should run, he exhaled, laughing a little.

You nodded.

He grabbed you by the hand - unexpectedly strong for someone who had always seemed so soft - and pulled.

You ran away.

The asphalt quickly became slippery, the air was heavy with moisture. Water poured into the hair, trickled down the cheeks, absorbed in the cloth of clothes.

But neither you nor he cared before.

You heard Hiori laugh. Real, carefree - not quiet, not hiding a smile, but loud, happy

His hand held yours, warm, alive, real

You turned into an alley, hiding under some kind of roof ledge. The rain was rattling on iron over your heads, creating a melody that could not be repeated

You leaned against the wall, breathing heavily from laughter and running. Hjori stopped close by, hair stuck to his forehead, eyelashes wet, shirt stuck to his shoulders.

He looked damn beautiful. Real.

Hoori reached out his hand, put the wet line behind your ear.

Touched my chin with my fingers, sliding them down my cheek, as if I didn’t believe you were really here, close to me in this rain.

- Thank you,' he whispered, leaning back again.

This time the kiss was slow. Warm, despite the wet clothes.

Your hands have wrapped themselves around him, drawing closer, obstinately, demanding.

He answered, clinging to the whole body, giving himself entirely to you - with all that quiet trepidation, slipping away tenderness and desperate courage.

There were drops falling nearby, crashing against the rocks.

There were people walking around laughing under the umbrellas.

The light of the apartment windows warmed behind me.

But your whole world was here now: in his hot fingers on your waist, in his trembling breath, in his kisses, in his quiet whisper that you could hear with difficulty through the rustle of rain:

- I want more nights with you.

You smiled through the kiss and clenched his palm tighter in yours.

- Then we have an eternity ahead of them.

[worldheadcanons]

☆ stalkertalia: there’s more!

requested by anon! gender neutral reader. starring . . . italy, china, prussia & germany. warning for stalking behaviors & nsfw (masurbation) hinted in china’s and discussed in germany’s parts. fandom masterlist found here. 📌 . . . author notes: this was fun to write! excited for the german brothers ^_^. i felt so mischievous while writing bc i hinted at quite a bit of things throughout these hcs (mostly just character relations but i’m ngl my personal hcs deff made their way in here). try to figure them all out if you dare!

feliciano vargas!

— feliciano calls and texts you regularly. his calls are usually just check-ins, making sure you’re doing well emotionally and physically. they’re typically short as well. his texts, however, are casual and flirtatious, as if you’re already well acquainted. not only that, but he texts you on and off for hours at a time. vargas doesn’t find it odd at all for him to text you in the afternoon and pick up your conversation from the morning as if no time passed. he fully expects you to go along with it, too.

— he’s vaguely sugar daddy-ish, also. he often buys you gifts so that you keep him unblocked. a new laptop? sure. brand new outfits from luxury brands? they’re delivered and left on your porch the very next day. anything and everything is on the table, it seems, which really makes you wonder why someone with so much money to waste has decided to bother little ol’ you. he’s not trying to buy your love, though, promise. feliciano just knows that the money and gifts help soften you up to him. you’re always more open to him after receiving a present or two.

— he knows an odd amount about your job and work schedule, as if he’s watched you at work. come to think of it, he probably has. he probably still does. vargas seems to know when you clock in, what you do for work, when you clock out, and even when you happen to go shopping for ingredients using your bosses’ card. how exactly he found out that you worked as a personal chef, you weren’t entirely sure.

— sometimes (really, a lot of the time) feliciano likes to play cute. maybe a better word would be coy, actually. he likes to pretend he’s not doing anything wrong, and even has the gall to text you every now and then something along the lines of ‘i don’t get why you’re so cold with me :(‘. he knows why you’re being so distant, of course. it’s no secret that his ways of contacting you are.. orthodox. but he also knows you’ll warm up to him soon enough. you’re soulmates. you will warm up to him.

— generally, he likes to use a fair amount of emoticons and emojis throughout his texts. not in a grandma way, but he’ll end his messages with red hearts or smiley faces, or even send a cute japanese emoticon your way. you asked him once how he knew about the emoticons japanese keyboard. his answer? he found it out from a friend, and though it was cute. he’s an… interesting.. guy. a guy who sends threats about the men you talk to in one text and cutesy emoticons in another.

— every now and then you play along with him, and in these moments, he feels himself falling more in love with you. you hold normal conversation, casual to the point of it being intimate (at least, in his mind it is). vargas views these rare events as you being your honest self. surely, your true self wants him just as much as he wanted you; you’re only hiding yourself because you’re scared of the intensity of your love. he’s deluding himself to a degree, but who doesn’t nowadays? he gets upset when you burst his bubble, anyhow.

yao wang!

— he doesn’t text and rarely calls. he usually writes letters; untraceable ones, of course, without a return address. he mails them himself, usually, though sometimes he has his employees deliver them. he’s old fashioned, what can he say. wang often writes about his love for you, how tempting you are.. never have you ever read such.. descriptive pieces of writing… it’s a little uncomfortable reading his more lustful letters. you try to ignore the stains at the edges of them…

— he likes sending you clothes to wear. sometimes yao sends designer brands, but mostly he sends everyday where. he tries not to send separate pieces, preferring to deliver whole outfits to your house (unlike his letters, the outfits are sent through standard delivery). what can he say? he loves seeing you in clothing he picked out. it’s a little bit about control, sure, matching you to his own artistic vision. but it’s also about providing for you. if you’d just let him into your heart, well, you’d never have to lift a finger again.

— god, you’re far too young for him. you’re closer to his son in age, really. sometimes he wishes that you’d marry his son, if only to ensure that you stay in his life. he’d see you during every family reunion and then some, as he would pop in every other day just to see you. wang might even move in with his son, claiming to need care, just to see your face. but even then, it’s not enough for you to be in his life. no, you should be his. maybe it was problematic, the age gap between you two. but you only live once, and his life is already partially gone!

— one day, three autumns. the chinese idiom rings true whenever you’re not around; one day without you feels like three full autumns. he often ends up asking around to see where you are. his questions are posed cleverly, disguised as common concern. yao’s no fool. he won’t let the world know of his affections towards you. not yet.

— outside of stalking, he tries his damnedest to get you to come work for his company. it would be much easier to keep tabs on you if you were one of his worker bees. wang’s even sweetened the deal a couple times, promising a high position right off the gate. unfortunately for him, you seem content working your current job. he’d buy the company you work under off your ceo but that seems a bit too obvious.

— has he been in your house? not without an invitation. he’s not a creep, after all. what he will do is send paid recon troopers to your property to record you in your private moments. they’re ordered not to view the footage. they’re to send all videos and photos directly to him and then delete them once they’ve been received. if you ever feel a pair of eyes watching you before bed, good news! it’s not yao — just the surveillance trooper that’s sending footage back to him.

gilbert beilschmidt!

— gilbert’s only ever into two types of people: anyone who can pull off the whole “sweaty warrior with muscles glistening in the sun” look and proper people that he can tease and fluster. his ex was the latter, but you.. you’re definitely the former. a welcome change of pace for him since his last break up was really messy.

— he met you at the gym. he was doing cardio on the treadmill while you were working arms nearby, your headphones neatly on your head. you weren’t dressed up much, just a baggy t-shirt and some gym pants, but god, your arms.. it was like seeing a walking greek sculpture. a dedication to the beauty of the human form.. something like that, bielschmidt figured. he’s not known for deep thoughts but you drag it out of him.

— when he met his cardio goal he turned off the treadmill, slinking off and making his way to you. he complimented your form, smiling, before asking you about your routine. the two of you hit it off and from there became gym buddies — on gilbert’s end, you were a bit more than that. he’d decided that you would be more than a simple rebound. he was determined to have you as his next partner.

— in his mind, you’re heaven sent after his bitch of an ex. that guy was the worst. okay, maybe he’s bitter about the whole break up, but that doesn’t really matter now that he has you! you, who he works out with thrice a week. you, whose home he found online two days after initial contact (it started as a search for your instagram and ended up with him finding your home and your mom’s facebook). you, who could definitely beat his ass… which makes him that much more attracted to you.

— beilschmidt knows that resorting to stalking is pathetic. but, hear him out: it’s only temporary. he’s doing his best to make moves on you in the gym but you don’t seem to pick up on them. he’s starting to wonder if you’re like his brother, someone who just doesn’t get social cues, or if you’re just trying to kindly reject him.. gilbert figures he won’t know until he tries some more. watching you from outside your windows is not a permanent gig. it’s just until he can get you to go out with him. that’s what he says to rationalize it, anyways.

— he’s a nail biter, and you best believe he was biting his nails down the first time he sees you outside of your gym rat clothes. from the window, he watches, entranced. lounge wear. you’re sitting on your coach in all your glory, watching some show in the cutest lounge wear he’s ever laid eyes on. god, the things you do to him. you oblivious god, you.

ludwig beilschmidt

— ludwig fell for you all too quickly. you were friends before, having gone to college together. now, you work in the same office. love strikes on a random wednsday during a casual lunch with coworkers. you laughed a little loud and half elbowed him in the process (you tend to hit when you laugh, he’s noticed) (he’s not not fond of the trait, though). it was then that he realized how warm you make him feel. you’re like a light, brightening the room even when you’re quiet. your mere presence is enough. wow. how amazing are you?

— i want to bathe in that light. it dawns on him that he wants to be with you, as more than friends. it’s not too hard to be close to you already; you seem to naturally gravitate towards sitting with him during casual work events and friendly hang outs. plus, the two of you already carpool together (it’s economical, is all). still, selfishly, he wants more. beilschmidt wants to date you.

— the german does try to be smooth as your anonymous stalker, often sending you packages full of things he thinks you’ll like. he’s indecisive, however, when it comes to you. is it wrong to want a great gift for a great person? the result of his indecision is him mailing you several versions of the same item with slight differences. accompanying these boxes on your porch is a stiff text to your phone that says ‘keep what you want, leibling, i just wanted to make sure i got it right. please leave feedback’.

— he sometimes wishes he had the confidence to confess to you in person. he’s worried about throwing away your friendship, though. strong friendships like the one you have are hard to make. they take years of effort and to toss it all away over a crush is… ridiculous, in ludwig’s eyes. no, he’s best handling things this way. even though he yearns to show his face and do more for you, he can’t. not yet. oh, how he dreams of fixing your squeaky door hinges and checking your engine. he’d clean your house for you, cook for you… what? it’s romantic to him, at least.

— he often takes your words literally. when you text beilschmidt any sort of feedback, he internalizes it. fortunately for him, you’re quite kind. you’ve yet to tell him to leave you alone or anything of that sort. it only furthers his love for you, the patience that you’re showing. he knows he’s not the most smooth (god knows — his brother won’t let him hear the end of it!) but he’s trying his best, promise.

— unbeknownst to you, he’s very… active. sexually. he hides it from you as much as he can; he isn’t like alfred, someone who’s shameless and will jerk off in your bushes. no, he’s much more reserved, jerking off with a stolen shirt of yours (he couldn’t push himself to steal panties after you invited him in as a friend). he does it in the corner of his room with the door locked, almost defensively. he feels lots of guilt when it comes to sex and sexual desire, which is partly why he’s still a virgin. after masturbating, he usually sits in silence for a couple minutes thinking over his life. this brief reflection doesn’t stop him from repeating the cycle later, though.

[nami-moittli]

My thoughts on the line up for Jade’s hometown event:

Why would they add in Rook and Riddle when they’ve already been in a wedding event? I guess Riddle is connected to Floyd (who might I remind is NOT the focus of the event) and Rook constantly romanticizes things so weddings are kinda in his wheelhouse, but, they don’t need this!

So, after going over the characters, here’s my thoughts on who would stand in for Rook and Riddle instead!

First off, I immediately got rid of Ortho. Nothing against Ortho, ofc! I just don’t want Twst to disappoint me. I personally headcanon Ortho to be both transfem and physically 16 post book 6 (or more accurately, post Fairy Gala, but the events aren’t entirely canon) so if she were to be there, I would just be unhappy and so I think I’ll save wedding event gear Ortho for my own mind

Second, obviously Azul and Floyd aren’t coming. I understand wanting both twins to be there, but hometown events only really focus on ONE person from that area, so even if multiple characters are from the same town, then only one of them gets the focus. This is scene most clearly in Jamil’s hometown event, where even though the whole reason why everyone is there in the first place is Kalim, Kalim has barely any focus in the event at all, not even getting his own costume change and staying in his dorm uniform

(Side tangent, I remember when we first saw the Tangled event cards and everyone thought it would be a Riddle hometown event, and if it was, then it would have been SUCH a clever way of finding a solution to the problem of multiple characters having the same hometown. We could have actually gone somewhere new, fleshed out the world a bit, met one of Riddle’s parents etc. without actually going to his hometown, so later down the line Trey could have a focus event and we could probably meet one of his siblings (since the manga gives us designs for his parents) It could have been so clever!! But nope! NRC lore and role playing Tangled during the shortest event instead! I don’t accept it as canon, even more so than events usually are, because a hometown styled event would have been the much better option!)

Onto my actual picks! Vil! The main reason I chose him was because 2/3 of Pomefiore already have a wedding themed outfit, so I thought it would be fun to complete the trio lol. Also, he could fill a similar role to Riddle being more on the reluctant and stricter side of things. I could see Jade doing something similar to Vil as he did to Riddle to convince him to come, too. Also, like I mentioned, Riddle is closer connected to Floyd out of twins most often. Though I guess Riddle is connected to the entire octatrio, being classmates with Jade, going through book 6 with Azul, and Floyd always teasing Riddle. But yeah, Riddle’s already been used in a wedding event so get the other queen to go instead. Plus Jade’s dorm vignette is a thing, even if I haven’t read it myself so idk what actually goes on besides Jade getting Vil new shoes so that Vil can sponsor the Mostro Lounge

Now, if part of the reason that I chose Vil was because he was a good stand in for Riddle, then I thought that the fourth character should be someone comparable to Rook. My first thought was Cater, as a wedding seems like something both of them would enjoy being apart of/barring witness to, but then I thought, this is Jade’s event, and Cater and Jade aren’t all that connected. Even if that’s not really an issue with hometown events, I thought that Kalim might make a better fit instead. And, okay, Jade and Kalim aren’t that connected either, but they’re both second years so that counts? Admittedly I just want to put Kalim and Jade in the same room and have them interact. Kalim would also be pretty easy to convince I think and he’d probably really enjoy the party of it all and seeing two people in love with each other be happy

So yeah, that’s my thought process! I think a team of Jade, Malleus, Vil and Kalim could be really fun! Though, putting any of these guys in a room together would be fun lol. Maybe I’ll design outfits for Vil and Kalim later, but I want to know what other people think too. If anyone has any characters they’d want to see in the event, then tell me why them specifically!

While I’m here, I also want to say: I think Azul’s hometown event should be in the actual Coral Sea and not just on the coast of it and we get to meet his mom, and Floyd’s can also be on land and we get to meet Papa Leech. Thank you for coming to my TEDtalk

[s2pdoktopus]

Omg I hate to say this but I really love Meihua

[ct-multifandom]

Forever lamenting that YTTD chapter 1 dropped during the Trump presidency because this meme wasn’t invented yet

Spent the entire Sara minisode going “it’s joever” over and over again in my head

[britneyshakespeare]

let me tell you. i have read 21 out of 38 of the extant canonical plays of william shakespeare. the first one to make me close the book and think "well i wish that had been better" was henry v.

[arolesbianism]

I Really need to properly draw Christopher at some point but everytime I want to I just look at her in game sprite and weep for her truest form has already been achieved. What's even the point. This is her in the flesh.