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she-posts-nerdy-stuff · 1 year ago

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It’s half past midnight as I’m starting this, who knows what time it will be when I finish it, let’s talk: Inej versus the Wraith.

Ok I’ve been thinking a lot about the distinction between Inej and the Wraith as a concept similar to the desperation of Kaz and Dirtyhands or Kaz Brekker and Kaz Rietveld, and I think I’ve noticed an actual trend in the books of using the epithet at certain times or in certain tones. For example, when the group find the pyre in chapter 19/20 and realise one of the victims is still alive, Jesper shoots them to end their pain. Kaz wanted Inej to do it since using her knives would be quieter than the gun, but she can’t bring herself to. In this moment, she is described exclusively as “Inej”. Later in chapter 20 she kills a parem-drugged fabrikator in order to save their lives, and is described as “the Wraith”. Not only is there the suggestion of a growing distinction between the two, but it is now being noticed by the characters as well as just the reader. For Kaz it’s really only the reader (and maybe Inej but I’d argue not to a full extent until Crooked Kingdom) who sees this distinction because we are closer to him than he lets anyone else get, we are the only people who really know what he’s thinking and see the two sides of his personality or the two potentials for who he could be. But with Inej it’s almost the exact opposite, we as the reader see the idea of the Wraith as an epithet invented by Kaz and an as empowering epithet designed to counter the dehumanising “Lynx” whilst still echoing the trauma of her past by linking very clearly to Inej’s descriptions of leaving her body behind and thinking “I’m already dead, I died in the hold of a slaver ship”, whilst the characters begin to almost refer to the Wraith and Inej as separate entities. I’m using Jesper as my example here since he’s the one to calll her the Wraith in chapter 20 - “trust the Wraith” - and the one to shoot the dying Grisha at the pyre, both to spare them and her from pain. It seems a sudden turnabout to go from a non-verbal or even any kind of communicatory acknowledgment that he needs to step in for her to expecting, trusting, and praising her for killing, but arguably that’s because he has seen a change in her during this short period of time.

It’s also worth noting that Nina almost always calls her Inej, in fact I don’t think she once calls her Wraith (at least to my immediate recollection, feel free to correct me) except when she uses the name to call Kaz out when he says “the Wraith can handle it” and she replies “the Wraith is a 16-year-old girl” and goes on to emphasise Inej’s injuries. But even in this scene, which is on the boat to Fjerda when it’s still unclear whether Inej will even survive and Kaz is talking about making her climb up the incinerator shaft at the Ice Court, Nina begins the conversation by saying Kaz can’t make Inej do that, and he comes back with “the Wraith can manage”. This suggests he sees a distinction between them as well, perhaps that Inej is a religious young woman who’s been left incredibly vulnerable but the Wraith is a hardened criminal with nothing to lose. By choosing to refer to her as the Wraith when he plans to put her through something so incredibly difficult, he is alleviating himself from the guilt of harming a vulnerable young woman by instead considering her as a hardened criminal. Nina calling him out in this shit (yeah I said it and I stand by it) clearly annoys Kaz or he wouldn’t have bothered arguing back to her, as he usually doesn’t. Arguably we could extend this to the idea that the others call her Inej when she’s the person they know and care about but the Wraith when she’s violent or commits crimes so they can actively choose to separate the image of warm, kind-hearted Inej from cruel or calculating Wraith.

Now everything I’ve said so far really comes down to perception so in terms of analysis it’s the kind of thing that you can say confidently and have accepted as accurate or at least as a reasonable interpretation, like when critics tell you that the dream sequence in Frankenstein can mean on of the following 5 things so you agree with them because they clearly know what they’re talking about. (Not that I’m saying the dream doesn’t mean one of those 5 things it can definitely be interpreted in those ways, it’s just an example of something in literature I’ve seen we kind of take as fact when it is, of course, all yo for interpretation). However, I want to be clear that what I’m going to say from now on can be considered a possible theory or interpretation of Inej surrounding her mental state and ptsd response. I’ve talked about it recently as part of other posts and I’m basically about to repeat myself word for word, but I wanted to compress this all into one post on the theme and include the stuff about the characters actually perceiving her that way too.

So first you we have a quote from the Crooked Kingdom Bathroom Scene™️, and what I’m going to say here is pretty much going to be exactly the same as what I wrote in my detailed breakdown and analysis of that scene, which if anyone wants to read is on my page or I can tag you if you’d like. The quote I want to talk about is: “I live in fear that I’ll see one of her - one of my clients on the street. For a while I thought I saw them everywhere”. Now I’m about to say there are 2 was to read this, but I mean this in a “I’ve read this is in two different ways” kinda way not in a “this can only be interpreted in these 2 ways” kinda way ok we’re embracing the de-classicising of literature here (I have no idea if that’s the right word or if that even makes sense but hopefully you know what I mean, I’m tired, bare with me) and we are open to any and all possible interpretations of things in any way they’re written so whooo if you read this quote in a different way let me know would love to hear it, these are the two ways I read it:

Firstly, that when she refers to “her” Inej means Heleen but edits her words as a continuation of this vulnerability she is forcing herself to share in this scene. If we exclude her being vulnerable with the reader, this is the most vulnerable we ever see Inej make herself - aka, this is the only time she allows herself to be deeply vulnerable out loud with another character. I think this closest other time we get is with Nina on the boat to Fjerda when Inej is trying to ward of flashbacks and she tells Nina why she doesn’t have the Crow Cup tattoo. However, that scene is written from Inej’s perspective and therefore gives her the opportunity to show the reader a lot more vulnerability than she shows Nina (eg when she has flashbacks the reader knows but Nina doesn’t because Inej is just egging her on to keep singing and distracting her; Nina knows something is happening but she isn’t being brought into the moment to share it because Inej isn’t in a position where she’s able to share her vulnerability) so our memory of this scene being particularly vulnerable is actually more about Inej being very honest with us, which of course isn’t an active choice, and less about her being very honest with Nina. Having the Bathroom Scene ™️ from Kaz’s perspective gives us the opportunity to have Inej’s openness and vulnerability in the scene far stronger since she has to say something out loud for us to know with certainty that she’s thinking it. Arguably if it had been a less vulnerable scene, Inej would have said “her clients” in reference two Tante Heleen as an added layer of the separation she practices, but here she changes it to “my” clients because she is forcing herself to be uncomfortable because she wants to be able to be more open with Kaz and she wants to continue this vulnerability that she’s allowing herself ti have with him. I feel like I just some variation on vulnerable like 20 times.

The second way I read it is linking back to our main theme of Inej and the Wraith as separate entities. “Inej talks a lot about how she would leave her body behind to exist only in her mind, in passages I find particularly reminiscent of passages in The Handmaid’s Tale (although please note soc is not very explicit whereas tht is incredibly explicit). But to take that idea further, I think there are certain hints, and I think this is possibly the biggest one, to imply that one of Inej’s ptsd responses it to actually view herself today as a separate entity from who she was during her indenture, effectively saying ‘yes these things happened to this body but they didn’t happen to this mind so that should make it easier’ to herself, which is massively self-destructive in nature because it almost creates this idea that she needs to get over who she once was and move on, very similar to the way Kaz Brekker represses Kaz Rietveld. Arguably, what she’s saying is the worst of it is this fracturing of the self that has been created by what they put her through and that she cannot seem to escape from.” (I put that bit in quote marks because I didn’t feel like rewriting it so that’s copy and pasted exactly from my Bathroom Scene™️ analysis post)

Ok there’s one other specific quote I want to bring up and it’s the end of Chapter 2 of Six of Crows, I did talk about it in my favourite quotes analysis of the chapter (which I am planning to continue btw chapter 5 up next if anyone wants to read these posts for the previous chapters let me know and I’ll tag you).

"Inej pitied the boy who might die alone with no one to comfort him in his last hours or who might live and spend his life as an exile. But the night's work wasn't over yet, and the Wraith didn't have time for traitors"

This I think, unless there are more I haven’t noticed/thought of yet is the only other time we get an suggestion of Inej perceiving herself and the Wraith as separate, and it’s arguably more concrete than the amendment of pronouns I just talked about for a ridiculous amount of time. To me, this quote shows Inej as being the girl she was, the girl she should have been, and the Wraith being a creation of necessity to aid survival. Inej is a religious young woman from Ravka who has been through far more than she should have done, but the Wraith was born and raised on the blood-soaked streets of Ketterdam and has every intention of surviving them - no matter the cost.

(That was also pretty much direct quotes from what said before)

It is now quarter past one in the morning. If you made it this far then thanks so much for reading I hope it made sense and was interesting, I feel like I’ve made enough “me rambling about grishaverse after midnight” posts that we can call it a series so if I think of a good name for it I’ll go through a tag them all so if anyone fancies trying to wade through all my middle-of-the-night-analysis nonsense you can find it all together because let me tell you something I never quite acknowledge just how much I’ve posted until I have to scroll back through to find stuff I’ve said in order to reference it in a new post. Anyway, thanks for reading I hope you enjoyed and if you have any thoughts linked to this or grishaverse analysis in general please comment or send me an ask I would love to hear it.

EDIT: sorry, correction, I just realised Inej didn’t kill the parem-drugged fabrikator she killed the parem-drugged squaller; the fabrikator was Nina’s childhood friend Nestor, he died from a combination of injury and the drug

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usmsgutterson · 2 years ago

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Haunted- K.B x Fem! Sun Summoner! Reader

Okay, this was requested by @freddycarterswife, and the only reason I’m making a separate post is because I didn’t want the post with her notes and mine to get too long and clog up anyones dash, so this was my solution!

I have two more requests in my inbox and then my requests will be open again and I have a big plan coming up for my two year anniversary on this account (which is being combined with my 600 follower celebration because why not) so a lot is going to come out during the second half of this week! I’m looking forward to it and I can’t wait to start accepting requests again

Fic type- angst with a fluffy ending

Warnings- mentions of death, torsos and legs separating with the use of the cut, mentions of guns, mentions of cremation ashes

You’d fled Ravka in the last days before the war began, vowing never to let anyone know of your status as one of the only two sun summoners who existed in the world at that time.

You fled to Ketterdam stashed on a cargo ship, having expected to find decent lodgings near Fifth Harbor and continue as you had, alone in your endeavors and without fear.

You had enough money to get through your first week, and you found yourself in the Barrel. You saved Kaz from being jumped and got yourself a room in the Slat free of charge and a job working at the bar in the Crow Club on weekdays.

Kaz must’ve noticed it right off the bat, the way with which you carried yourself and the way that you seemed just to exist. It didn’t feel like you were a girl who was down on her luck but rather a girl with a past full of secrets.

But you worked at the Crow Club, you lived in the Slat, and you’d joined the Dregs nearly right off the bat. The money you’d brought with you for your first week dwindled quickly, but the money you made from the jobs that Kaz put you on the crew of made up for it twentyfold, at least. The money was good, the people great, and eventually, your life in Ketterdam was one you settled into; it grew into a secondary home, of sorts.

You summoned the sun on a semi frequent basis to keep yourself from growing sick in the absence of your small science, oftentimes using it to bring light when your oil lamps had died and you were still reading, occasionally using it to bring you warmth when it grew cold in the Slat during the winter.

By the time you’d lived in Ketterdam four years, Kaz came to you with the biggest heist yet. It was in Ravka, the theft of several important jewels and a few apparently priceless enameled eggs with promise of good money from Nikolai Lantsov and his wife, Zoya Nazyalensky.

Nikolai had told Kaz to name his price and Kaz had promptly told him that his price was a minimum of forty million kruge. With those words, the deal was sealed and he’d come to you, asking if you were in or out.

You’d told him you were in, and that got you where you were, standing in a dusty hotel room near the location of the items that you were to steal and return to the palaces.

Nina and Matthias were grabbing food at the small restaurant located inside the hotel, Wylan and Jesper grabbing ice and coffee grounds from the machines at one end of the hallway, and Inej was scouting, seeking any last minute details that could’ve been helpful when the heist was to go down within the following two hours.

��Be careful,” Kaz said, eyes watching the sun as it began to set. You’d been watching it, too. Four years since you’d last seen a Ravkan sunset. As it turned out, you’d missed them more than you thought. “This entire heist is a risk, Y/N. Try not to get yourself killed.”

A grin came easily to your face as you resisted the urge to summon an arc of sunlight, bright and blazing into the room.

You almost wondered what would happen if you did. Kaz had long grown used to the two of you having your own secrets, and would he really care? Would he even blink at the fact that you could summon the sun, especially when one considered that Alina Starkov had died and at least ten sun summoners had been left in her wake? Would he really care about it other than connotating that, had you told him, it could’ve been a useful tool on a few of the jobs you did?

“You too, Brekker,” you said. “Don’t die on me, Kaz. I’d hate to plan a funeral for you.”

He turned to you, and you caught a smirk on his face. “Well, I do at least expect a headstone. My enemies need something to spit on when they’ve heard of my death.”

“Nah,” you said. “No headstone for you or your enemies. I’ll cremate you, turn some of your ashes into a necklace and put the rest into a remake of your cane, provided I find a Fabrikator who can even passably replicate it.”

“If you die, I’ll put your ashes into the water at Fifth Harbor,” he said.

“No, you won’t,” you rebutted. “You’ll put them into soil, and use that soil to plant a garden. I’ve got a will, Brekker. You will abide by it.”

Kaz scoffed. “What, living in the Barrel make you so unoptimistic that you felt the need for a will?”

“Living in Ravka did,” you said. “Not really a good place to live when the Unsea was expanding and a war was almost guaranteed. I left the day before the Darkling expanded it, haven’t been back around until now.”

Kaz only nodded. It was another piece of your history that he didn’t know, another tidbit given to him, another tidbit that meant he would likely give you something in return.

At that, the both of you heard Wylan and Jesper as they opened the door.

“Just don’t get killed,” Kaz said. “I am not the man who will put your ashes into soil or plant them into a garden, so keep your head, at the very least.”

You shook your head, grin moving onto your face slightly. That was as much as Kaz telling you he loved you, and you’d find a way to tell him you loved him in return, be it that night or in due time.

You were panicking.

The jewelry had been procured, the enamel eggs in all their horrific, ugly glory were in the bags that you’d hauled over your shoulders. The guards had located you, though, and as fast as the seven of you were capable of moving, it seemed the guards were faster.

You turned just in time to see two guards aiming their pistols at Kaz and Jesper. As though it were instinct, you raised your hands, summoned all of your power to the forefront of your mind.

You were on autopilot, almost, as you summoned a blazing beam of light, held it in your hands, wielded it as a weapon of your own.

And then, you released it.

You watched in terror as your light sliced the guards in two from their torsos, hallowed screams leaving their lips as their knees toppled and their guns fell from their loose, dead hands.

Everything stopped. Jesper, Nina, Inej, Kaz, Wylan and Matthias turned around, having stopped in their tracks. All of them looked to you instantly. Your throat dried and you hated yourself for the fact that you found you had no words.

“You’re a--” Nina began, but Kaz cut her off.

“You can summon the sun, and you never told anybody,” he said.

You didn’t speak, only crumbled to the ground. You weren’t supposed to do that, and some part of you regretted it. But the other acknowledged that you’d done what was necessary to keep Kaz and Jesper alive.

“Whatever,” Kaz said, deeming it unnecessary to carry what was almost a fight into a fight, be it with words or balled fists. “We’re leaving. This is done.”

“Don’t leave me like this,” you said, finding the words at the least opportune time. “Please, don’t.”

“May you find someone else to churn your ashes in the soil and make a garden out of them,” he said. “Because it won’t be me.”

You surrendered the bags you’d carried to Nina, who looked at you pitifully, and watched the crows go.

You left after what was probably fifteen minutes but felt like a thousand days, finding yourself in an alleyway, back pressed against the wall. Your ability to summon was always where things went wrong in life.

It’d nearly gotten you killed when you refused to be the Darklings puppet. It’d nearly gotten you killed when Alina had come around and he realized he didn’t need to hold out hope that you’d come around anymore. Refraining from using it in longer pockets of time had nearly killed you, too.

In the end, your ability to summon the sun had been what caused you to lose everything.

You felt the tears fall, and you let them. You’d be haunted by them, the friends you’d once had, for a lifetime, and that was the precise reason you couldn’t go back to Ketterdam.

On the other hand, what choice was there? Would you go to the Grand Palace, plead your case and pray to the saints that Nikolai would allow you a room to stay in?

Would you smuggle yourself onto a cargo ship just as you’d done four years before? Would you live a life somewhere new, perhaps Novyi Zem, where Grisha were considered to be blessed?

You had no idea, but you knew that you would be haunted by Kaz Brekker, his crew, and Ketterdam for the rest of your life. There was no going back, not after that.

It was just a matter of where, exactly, you would go.

You found yourself on Ketterdam soil six months later, the city chilly and the leaves changing as was typical with October weather. You found Jespers gaze in the same time he found yours, a grin easily coming to his face. He’d missed you, so it seemed.

“Glad you got my letter,” he said as you stepped onto the dock. “I’d been going off rumor, mostly tidbits and things that Inej heard of you. Mercenary, hm?”

You shrugged. “Needed something to do after that night. Figured that being a killer for hire was my best bet, and mercenaries make a shit ton wherever you end up. How’d you know I was in Novyi Zem, exactly? I’m good at keeping my locations under wraps so thick that even Inej shouldn’t’ve figured it out.”

Jesper shrugged, shook his head. “You didn’t when you moved on from the Wandering Isle to Novyi Zem. Maybe you subconsciously wanted to be found? Maybe you missed me, or a certain Barrel boss who dresses like he’s a businessman?”

You laughed. “I’ve missed you and the rest of the Dregs, certainly, but Kaz? No. I haven’t thought of him since he left me after I’d saved his bloody life.” A lie, though it sounded convincing enough.

You’d thought of him everyday, day in and day out. You were haunted by him, just as you’d thought yourself to be, haunted by him and by Ketterdam and the Crow Club. You’d vowed never to go back, but then Jesper had written to you and explained that Kaz wanted to discuss something.

So, hesitantly, you left Novyi Zem, a place you were starting to think could be a home, and there you were. Walking to the Slat and talking to Jesper and ignoring the way that your heart could not stop racing at the thought of seeing Kaz again.

Jesper only laughed. “Sure. I’ll believe that if you do.”

You stuck your tongue out at him in retaliation, the rest of the walk being filled with updates on how things had been in Ketterdam and stories of Novyi Zem and the Wandering Isle in turn.

Then, you were at the Slat, leaning against Kaz’s office door, not looking at him as he did not turn his gaze up from the heist he was planning to look at you.

You summoned a beam of sunlight to your fingertips, made a loose fist and flicked your fingers out, watching amusedly as a sliver of sunlight moved and skittered across the room to Kaz’s desk, glinting sharply against the inkwell that was within his vision and causing him to close his eyes and blink in confusion before he looked up and saw you.

“Good,” he said. “You’re here. We’ve much to discuss.”

“We’ve nothing to discuss,” you responded. “Unless, of course, this discussion is to begin with you apologizing for leaving me in the dust when I was the reason you didn’t get killed, even if it meant I’d killed two other people as a result. I want an apology, Brekker, and unless you give me one, or, at the very least, a Brekker-ified version, this discussion is over before it can begin.”

Kaz sighed as he leaned back in his office chair, gesturing to the coffeemaker he kept by the door.

“You don’t look well rested.”

“Nor do you.”

“I can imagine that killing people leaves you with fewer resting hours.”

You scoffed. “I don’t kill innocents, Brekker. In the four years we knew each other before you left me in the dust, I figured you could’ve deduced that the death of innocent people is strictly against my moral code.”

“First off, you’re right,” Kaz said. “You saved my life that day. I know. I know it probably means I owe you, too.”

“The one thing you did owe me has just been given,” you said. “Not quite the words I was looking for, but good enough. Now, what do you really want?”

“To start over,” Kaz said. “We could use a mercenary on the crew, and... people have certainly missed your presence here.”

You grinned. “People being you, Brekker?”

Kaz stayed silent, a begrudging look that said: you know exactly what I mean and I am not going to say it out loud because I am afraid that admitting it makes me weak by default lingering in the blue of his eyes.

“Yeah, people being you,” you nodded, and he nodded. “One reason to agree, then. All I need is one reason.”

“The pay will be decent,” he said. “Better than decent. Name your price.”

“You really are desperate,” you laughed. “Missed me that much, did you?”

“Your price?”

“The biggest available room you have in the Slat,” you said. “My old job at the bar in the Crow Club, and the promise that, if I die on any heist in which I am included, you are the one who churns my ashes in the soil and uses them in the planting of a garden. Don’t care what you grow, as long as you’re the one doing it.”

Kaz laughed, and the part of you that loved him responded like things were as they had been six months before, your heart giving a flit that you did not put aside.

“You’re quite the easy bargain,” he said. “I agree to your terms. Welcome back.”

You grinned, and Kaz felt his heart begin to race just the same as it would’ve six months before, when he’d catch you grinning at one of Jespers jokes or something like a dandelion coming up through a crack in the cobblestones. When he would catch a grin that would come onto your face during the rarer sunny days in fall, most often happening after a series of storms, your face turned to the sunlight as you basked in it.

“You don’t hate me for it still, do you?” You asked. “The fact that I didn’t tell you?”

“I did for a solid two weeks,” he said. “And then my only thought was that you saved my life and that I scorned you for it. I never really hated you, not for a moment. Do you still hate me?”

You laughed, and Kaz felt his racing heart lighten into the weight of air.

“I don’t hate you,” you said, approaching the coffeemaker. You started up a pot, grabbed a book from one of his shelves, and found yourself on the windowsill, just like you would’ve been seven months before, reading while he planned out the next big thing and feeling your heart swell every time you looked at him.

You stayed there through the remainder of the day, occasionally summoning a sunbeam at the right angle while you chatted with Kaz, watching as a rainbow fell across the pages on which he wrote. You felt like yourself again, no longer haunted by Kaz and Ketterdam but rather, happy as ever to be back and in his company.

#kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x fem! reader #six of crows #shadow and bone

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ell0ra-br3kk3r-writes · 6 months ago

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The Phoenix and the Crow

part thirty-nine

pairing: kaz brekker x fem!reader

genre: it's pretty angsty, this one...

el's thoughts: i hope yall love this as much as i dooo

masterlist

They’d been blessed with a strong wind. Y/N felt it ripple through her hair that Inej took out of its matted braid. The strength of the breeze was a telltale sign of a storm coming.

As soon as they were on deck, Inej turned to Kuwei.

“How long does she have?”

Kuwei had some Kerch, but Y/N had to translate in places. She did it distractedly, her glittering eyes roving over everyone and everything. Nina stepped in to help translate when the Inferni mentally zoned out every few words.

“The high will last one hour, maybe two. It depends how long it takes her body to process a dose of that size.”

“Why can’t she purge it from her body? Couldn’t Nina help her?” Wylan asked, turning to the Heartrender almost desperately.

“It doesn’t work,” said Kuwei. “Even if she could overcome the craving for long enough to start purging it from her body, she’ll lose the ability to push the parem from her system before it’s all gone. You’d need another Corporalnik using parem to accomplish it.”

“What will it do to her?” asked Jesper.

“You’ve seen for yourself,” Nina said bitterly. “We know what’s going to happen.”

Kaz crossed his arms and finally spoke from where he stood beside Y/N. “How will it start?”

“Body aches, chills, no worse than a mild illness,” Kuwei explained.

“Then a kind of hypersensitivity, followed by tremors, and the craving.”

“Do you have more parem?” Matthias asked.

“Yes.”

“Enough to get her back to Ketterdam?” Kaz followed up.

“I won’t take more,” Y/N protested, hooded eyes flickering up to look at Kaz in refusal.

“I have enough to keep you comfortable,” Kuwei said. “But if you take a second dose, there is no hope at all.” He looked to Kaz. “This is her one chance. It’s possible her body will purge enough of it naturally that the addiction won’t set in.”

“And if it does?”

Kuwei held out his hands, part shrug, part apology. “Without a ready supply of the drug, she’ll go mad. With it, her body will simply wear itself out. Do you know the word parem? It’s the name my father gave to the drug. It means ‘without pity’.”

When Nina finished translating, there was a long pause.

“I don’t want to hear any more please,” Y/N said breathlessly. “None of it will change what’s coming.”

She drifted away toward the prow. Kaz watched her go with an aching heart.

Inej sought out Rotty and got him to dig up the wool coats they left behind in favor of their cold weather gear when they’d landed on the northern shore. She found Y/N near the prow, gazing out at the sea.

“One hour, maybe two,” Y/N said without turning.

Inej halted in shock. “You heard me approach?”

“Don’t worry. It wasn’t those silent feet that gave you away. I can feel your body heat and the warmth from your breath.”

“And you knew it was me?”

“Everyone feels so different. I never realized that before… I was barely able to focus on one person’s heat directly.”

Inej joined her at the rail and handed over Y/N’s coat. The Grisha put it on, though the cold didn’t seem to be bothering her. Above them, the stars shone brightly between silver-seeded drifts of cloud.

Y/N was ready for dawn, ready for this long night to be over, and the journey, too. She was surprised to find she was eager to see Ketterdam again. She wanted a mug of too-sweet coffee while she sat in Kaz’s window seat as he worked at his desk. She wanted to hear the rain on the rooftops while she lay in her warm bed at the Slat. There were adventures to come, but they would have to wait until she’d had a hot bath and a clear mind once again.

Y/N buried her face in her coat’s woolen collar and said, “I wish you could feel what I feel. The warmth from everybody on the ship… was overwhelming at first but now it’s comforting. I can pinpoint where everyone is and just knowing that they’re all safe…”

“I can only imagine,” Inej hummed. “I only hope it brings you a sense of peace.”

“I don’t really deserve peace, don’t you think?” Y/N chuckled coarsely. “I nearly burned down a city, and killed more people, and all I did was complete my assignment as a Ravkan soldier. The Phoenix.”

“That’s a horrendous way to look at this. Don’t do that to yourself.” She scolded the Inferni softly. “You’re so much more than a soldier anyway. You’re a friend to all of us here. You’re a Crow from the Barrel. And I think Kaz sees you as more than another soldier or a friend.”

Y/N felt her cheeks warm and desperately avoided eye contact with the girl beside her. She knew the Crows weren’t blind to what was going on between herself and Kaz, but no one has had time to address the growing bond. She hasn’t even had the time to mentally process what she was feeling. For the first time in her life, she just let her feelings bloom, but now she had to face the facts and think through it all. It was fun to live in a bubble where it was just the two of them in all these life threatening, world changing events where there feelings had no real effect on their lives.

‘What if their feelings were solely caused by the trauma they were forced to face together?’

“I feel the need to tell you that…” Inej let out a breath. “Kaz isn’t one to deal with feelings and things of the like. But with you- You changed him so much. For the better. I’ve seen it already. You communicate with each other between glances and he’s opened up to you in a way I’ve never seen from him. I would even go as far as to say he loves you.”

Y/N’s wide eyes snapped up to look at Inej.

“I wouldn’t lie to you. I’ve never seen him like this in all the years I’ve known him. Y/N you mean so much to him, more than you think you do. Nina even mentioned how his heart beats faster when you’re around but it’s also more sure of itself. You can’t fake that.”

“I…”

“Just think through it. If you need anything, come find us.” Inej gave her the sweetest smile before she turned on her heel and walked back to the others. But as she walked away, Y/N saw she had another reason to depart. Kaz was standing in the shadows near the mast. He had a heavy coat on and was leaning on his crow’s head cane—he looked almost like himself again.

Kaz murmured a few words to Inej causing her to lean back in surprise. Y/N couldn’t make out the rest of what they said, but she could tell the exchange was slightly tense before the Suli girl let her shoulder slouch for a split second as she made her descent below deck.

“What did you say to Inej?” Y/N asked when he joined her at the rail. She tried to ignore the beginnings of a pounding headache.

“I have a job I need Nina to preform.”

Y/N hummed tiredly as they stood together, gazing out at the waved, silence stretching between them.

“We’re alive,” he said at last.

“Some of us more than others but it seems you prayed to the right god.”

“Or traveled with the right people.”

Y/N shrugged. “Kaz Brekker, are you going soft?” He said nothing and she had to smile. “No sharp retort?”

He ran his gloved thumb over the rail. “No.”

“What’s your plan when we get back?”

“When we’re a few miles out, Rotty and I will row to the harbor in the longboat. We’ll find a runner to get word to Van Eck and make the exchange on Vellgeluk.”

Y/N scrunched her nose as she leaned forward to rest her chin in her palm. The island was popular with slavers and smugglers. “The Council’s choice of yours?”

“Van Eck suggested it.”

Y/N frowned, her eyebrows furrowed in thought as she tried to keep her mind active and awear as she spoke with him. She was proud that she remembered the right island when writing her letter to Nikolai before they made it to the Ice Court. ‘Why would the mercher make a call like this?’ “Why does a mercher know about Vellgeluk?”

“Trade is trade. Maybe Van Eck isn’t quite the upstanding merch he seems.”

They were silent for a while. Finally, she said, “I want to own horses again.”

Kaz’s brows furrowed, and he cast her a surprised glance. “Really? Why?”

“I used to ride with my father when I was young. And during my time at the Little Palace, there was always a horse for me to take out. It was my only way of feeling free, and I’ve grown to miss it. Ravkans breed the best riding horses.”

Kaz hummed and looked back out to the stars. Y/N smiled softly at the side of his face and leaned slightly closer to him, her limbs growing heavy. “But we’ll go home first.”

“We will go to Ravka?” He smiled down at her. A smile that she’s noticed was reserved for her and her alone.

A please flush warmed her cheeks. “No,” she chuckled, her speech slightly slurred now. “We will go to Ketterdam. Home first.”

“You should go rest. The drug will begin taking it’s toll on you.”

Y/N shook her head. “I would really rather not be alone right now.” She watched the gears in his head turn as he thought for a moment.

He held his hand out to her, “I’ll wait with you.”

“Don’t you have plans to prepare for and see through?”

“I can spare a few moments.”

She smiled and took his hand slowly, giving him the chance to pull away if he wanted to but he didn’t move. Together, they walked below deck to the large room Kaz had taken ownership of. He brought her to the bed and let her lay down as he pulled the desk chair to the bedside.

Y/N let out a quiet moan as her muscles ached and her bones creaked as she tried to get comfortable under the rough sheets. Her body felt a sudden chill but she could still feel the different body heats through out the ship. Her nose scrunched in discomfort for a short moment before she looked up at Kaz who remained by her side.

No words were exchanged as they stayed in each other’s presence. Y/N silently stared up at Kaz with glossy eyes, admiring the way the light from the oil lamp flickered across his face. Her eyes began to burn and her chest grew heavy.

Kaz turned to her as the sound of her breathing grew labored. An unsettling pit formed in the depths of his stomach, bracing himself for the after-effects of the drug to kick in. “Should I go get Nina or Kuwei?”

He got no response only quiet groans so he decided to just stay at her side.

When the tremors began, she begged him to leave.

“I don’t want you to see me like this,” she said, trying to roll on her side.

He brushed the damp hair from her brow with his gloved hand. He hissed quietly as her skin burned him through the leather fabric. “How bad is it.”

“Bad.” But she knew it would only get worse.

“Do you want to try the jurda?” Kuwei had suggested that small doses of regular jurda might help Y/N get through the day.

She shook her head. “I want… I want— Saints, why is it so hot in here?” Then, despite the pain, she tried to sit up as Kaz walked to push open the small circular window. “Don’t give me another dose. Whatever I say, Kaz, no matter how much I beg. I don’t want to be like them, like those Grisha back there.”

Kaz stayed silent for a long minute. “Y/N… Kuwei said the withdrawl could kill you. I won’t let you die.”

She flopped back down, and her whole body rebelled. Her clothes felt like crushed glass against her burning skin. “I would have killed every one of the druskelle.”

“We all carry our sins, Y/N. I need you to live so I can atone for mine.”

“You can do that without me, you know.”

He reached to her open palm and placed his atop of her’s. “I don’t want to.”

“Kaz,” she said, turning their hands over so she can trace the creases of the black fabric. It hurt. Touching his gloved hand burned her fingertips, but she still did it. She might not ever get to again. “I am not sorry.”

He took her hand and laced their fingers gently. She winced, but when he tried to pull away, she clutched him tighter.

“Stay,” she panted. Tears leaked from her eyes. “Stay till the end.”

“And after,” he said.

“I just want to feel safe again. I want to go home.”

“Then I’ll take you there. We’ll set fire to hay bails in the country side just for fun.”

Y/N looked into his eyes with longing. Longing fora normal life, longing for her pain to go away and longing for him. “Kaz…” Her throat was so raw it hurt to speak anymore. “My Crow.” She smiled tiredly anyway.

Kaz didn’t let his eyes stray from her face as her eyes began to close out of pure exhaustion.

“I think I’m in love with you.”

Y/N could barely make out Kaz’s facial features through her hooded eyes. She watched his eyes squeeze shut and noticed his breathing become shallow as he placed her hand down on the bed beside her.

“My Saint, don’t go.”

taglist: @katherinereid @littlecat21 @jahayla-parker @maliciousbrekker @brekkershadowsinger @brekkers-desigirl @clunaes @wonderland2425 @bookloverfilmoholic @karensirkobabes @bookworm-center @el-de-phi @so-get-this-sammy @skittleabyss @crispy-croke @cometsghost @auttumnsayshi

#kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x you #kaz brekker x y/n #six of crows #six of crows x reader #six of crows imagines #ellora.writes

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whomst-the-hell · 8 months ago

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ive seen this a few times and i looooooove to think about a grishaverse au where kaz is the sun summoner bc honestly itd be so fucking funny. like not only do i think kaz would have IMMEDIATELY cottoned on to the darklings bullshit, i think he would have strung that motherfucker along the ENTIRE time. oh u want to play will they wont they with me, 100+ year old creep? play will they wont they WITH MY CANE IN YOUR FUCKING KNEECAPS DICKHEAD also i feel like if nikolai proposed to kaz he wouldve said lay one single hand on me and you die but also make me king. like. he would have been UNSTOPPABLE what the fuck is pekka goddamn rollins gonna do against THE KING OF RAVKA, i dont even ship kaz and nikolai, but i think they could absolutely make a marriage of convenience work while they both date their fckn baddass suli girlfriends they are the same kind of insane and given a common goal they’d totally b bros. tolya and tamar hanging out with jesper and inej? dream come true fr fr. nikolai would be like ftr youre marrying into a practically bankrupt country on the brink of civil war and kaz would say give me 8 months 2 pieces of wire and a silly wardrobe i HAVE A PLAN and tbh nikolai would be like not only am i in, i actually have some batshit crazy ideas of my own. theyd make destroying the fold so lucrative that shit would be bananas (b-a-n-a-n-a-s) also the apparat would be like im rallying a religious cult in your name! and kaz would be like what, only now? ive been doing that for weeks already, you silly bitch

#kaz brekker #six of crows #grishaverse #honestly im pretty tired rn but i just like to imagine the darkling getting whacked #one must imagine the darkling miserable 💕#also kaz and nikolai brotp 4ever im obsessed with them

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neptune-scythe · 9 months ago

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Gays what's the Kaz x Jesper x Wylan ship name

I am claiming this gay bitches as my ship but I don't even know their name

#do they even have a ship name #or can i just make shit up #please i wanna make shit up #grishaverse #six of crows #crooked kingdom #shadow and bone tv #shadow and bone netflix #kaz brekker #jesper fahey #wylan van Eck #kaz x jesper x wylan

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i-can-read-to-him · 4 months ago

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The Wesper Fic Club's Author Spotlight is a post series that aims to feature two to three fic authors a month, randomly selected from a pool of names put forth on our server. The authors are then asked to answer three interview questions, select up to five of their fics for us to feature, and finally, recommend three fics by others in the fandom.

(Note: Our spotlighted fics are not limited to Wesper, though they tend to be a central pairing in most of our authors' featured works.)

This week, we are putting a spotlight on Stormkpr's writing!

Socials: @stormkpr (Tumblr) | Stormkpr (AO3)

❀

Part One: Author Interview

Q: When did you first start writing? What keeps you going today?

A: I’ve been doing this a long time. Got into reading and writing fanfic after one of the X-men movies, and I felt a huge rush when I posted my first fic – and realized I don’t have to keep pestering my real life friends to read them! As for motivation, that is a strength for me and it just seems to come from within.

Q: Have you had a chance to interact with the SAB cast? Tell us about your experience(s).

A: I was very, very lucky to get to go to Into the Fold in March of this year! I could spend 3,000 words on a recap, but I’ll just try to give the highlights. I loved that on the first day, all the attendees were sitting at round tables in a large hotel room. Then the cast comes in. They rotate each member of the cast to each table. It was so well-organized and I felt like we got a decent amount of time with everybody. I also loved some of the tidbits we got later on in the conference, such as Jack telling us about the deleted Wesper scene and how there was more to it. Wylan had made tea, and Jesper commented that it’s great to have a chemist make your tea. And I love that Jack said how good of a scene partner Kit was, and the way he made him comfortable during the scene where Jack is actually driving a real carriage.

Q: Tell us about something in your fics that you’re proud of and wish would get more notice.

A: I love that many of my fics have plots. Nothing wrong with a fic that is more about ‘all the feels’ and I have written my share of fics that contain mostly smut. But I love creating storylines and thinking of a few twists.

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Part Two: Selected Works

How to Train Your Gladiator

Explicit | 72.8K | Wesper, Kanej, Helnik Historical Fiction (Ancient Rome), Romance

This is my highest kudo-ed Crows fic so I am starting with this one. We have a world of gladiators and arena battles, and each Crow must find a way to survive and to love. I had a blast thinking up storylines and how each ship would ultimately get together, stay together, and triumph.

A Feral Yearning

Teen | 3.4K | Wesper Oneshot, Modern AU, Vampire AU

From my highest to my lowest kudo-ed Wesper fic. It didn’t get much traction but I loved wrapping up this vampire AU in a one-shot. I liked that it kind of kept you guessing, and writing Vampire Jesper was a blast!

I Am He That Aches With Love

Explicit | 15K | Wesper Canon compliant, Revealing Your Truth, Light Smut

Things are getting serious between Wylan and Jesper. They’ve just taken part in Kaz’s successful revenge scheme against Pekka Rollins and are ready to relax – perhaps going together to Poppy’s show. Or perhaps something more intimate, just the two of them. But before anything more intimate can happen, Wylan has something important that he has to tell Jesper – and he’s scared to do so.

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Part Three: Author's Recs

To Live In Color by @sixofcrowdaydreams

Explicit | 39K+ (WIP) | Wesper Cinderella AU, Child Abuse, Wylan-centric, Angst w/ Happy Ending

Perfect mix of plot and writing and all the Wesper feels! I could go on and on. Eagerly awaiting the next chapter.

What's truth but what we with say it is? by @hotpinkmurex

Explicit | 93.8K | Wesper Modern AU, Romance, Slow Burn, Hurt/Comfort

The Pretty Woman Wesper AU you’ve always needed

Hot and Heavy by @magicandpizza

Explicit | 3,400 (Complete) | Wesper PWP, Shameless Smut, Sassy Wylan, Bottom!Wylan, Top!Jesper

Really, really good smut. It's hot, Jesper is a tease and Wylan is horny. That's it, that's the plot. (And what more do we need?)

❀

Please support our authors by commenting and leaving kudos on any stories of theirs you read and enjoy! Don't forget to also reblog this post and check back soon for our next author spotlight to come.

Interested in joining our server and getting to know our community? Feel free to request an invite via the @i-can-read-to-him ask box.

#stormkpr #shadow and bone #six of crows #wesper fic club #author spotlight #wfc author spotlight #wesper #fanfiction #wylan van eck #jesper fahey #fic recs

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seidenbros · 3 months ago

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Let Me Love You Just the Way You Are

Pairing: Wylan van Eck x Jesper Fahey Summary: “We’re done here. I’ll send word to each of you after I find us a ship, but be ready to sail by tomorrow night,” Kaz announced, and that was when Jesper snapped back into the conversation. His head was still spinning, trying to comprehend the new information. “I’ll take a little walk,” he said to Wylan as he was getting up, running a hand over his hair. “Jes…” Wylan got up as well, reaching out his hand towards Jesper, but quickly dropping it again. Jesper’s heart was aching when he saw him like this, but talking now wouldn’t be good for either of them. He needed to think, needed some fresh air, and needed to be alone for once. “Just… give me an hour, okay? I just need to clear my head a little.”

Inspired by the Third Army Summit and everything that came to light, this is my take on the van Eck Reveal and the "I love you" - "I don't deserve you" dialogue. Word count: 5.850 Warning/Tags: POV Jesper Fahey, Angst with a happy ending, emotional hurt comfort, referenced child abuse, bad parents Jan van Eck, love confessions, pre Ice Court heist A/N: The brainrot is real and so I had to write it down. There is a bit of dialogue from the book in there as well, cause I wanted to stick to the soruce material a little bit. And then there is THIS SONG that fits them and the situation so well, so maybe give it a listen as well 💚 Read on AO3

Don't say you're not strong enough To let me love you just the way you are So distant when you’re next to me Hiding all I wanna see The silence in the air we breathe Echoing so hopelessly

“An opportunity has presented itself.” Kaz’s words were still ringing in Jesper’s ears, but Kaz had told them that they’d need to get Matthias out of Hellgate beforehand. Of course, Jesper’s curiosity was nearly killing him, but he knew that Kaz wouldn’t breathe a word, and probably just smack him with his cane if he started pestering him. Wylan seemed to know a little more, and he actually had some quiet conversations with Kaz, but didn’t say anything to Jesper. It was bothering him that they were keeping secrets from him, but he didn’t want to get Wylan in trouble by trying to get these secrets out of him. Besides, he’d rather spend the time he got along with Wylan doing other things.

Getting Matthias out of Hellgate had been… an adventure to say the least. Jesper still had no idea how they’d pulled all that off, but the end result was what counted for him. And the fact that Nina was still alive after one of the first things Matthias had done had been to attack her, was even more important to him. Yes, he knew what had happened, that Nina had been responsible for Matthias going to Hellgate, but she’d done it for the right reasons. On the other hand, he could understand Matthias as well. It was obvious how much they meant to each other, no matter that they tried not to show it. Below all that pain and anger, there was a whole lot of love.

Matthias had gotten some fresh clothes, a bath, some proper food, but there had always been someone with him to avoid any kind of trouble. Even now when they were sitting together to finally talk about this opportunity Kaz had mentioned, they made sure to have Nina and Matthias sit on opposite sides of the table.

Jesper’s attention was on the man next to him, though. Wylan seemed so nervous, and it showed in the way he squeezed Jesper’s hand beneath the table. Casting a glance at him, Jesper realised how pale he’d gone. He wanted to ask if he was alright, if he needed some fresh air, when Kaz spoke up and demanded all their attention.

He told them about what Jan van Eck had let him in on, what he wanted them to do. The name already left a sour taste in his mouth, but what Kaz told them definitely made his ears ring. After this heist, he wouldn’t have to worry about money anymore. He’d be able to pay off his debt, give something to his father, and still live a great life with Wylan by his side. At least he was hoping that Wylan would stay with him, because he couldn’t think of a future without him anymore. It scared him in a way, but it also made him tingly all over with anticipation and happiness. He’d never felt so much for one person, and he knew what it was, what he felt, but naming it, saying the words out loud… he wasn’t able to do that just yet. Especially not when they were talking about breaking into the Ice Court to get someone out of there. It sounded utterly crazy, but the job was too good not to take it. Besides, they had someone who knew the Ice Court, didn’t they? Though Matthias wasn’t very keen on helping them. But jesper knew that Kaz would find a way to persuade him. Matthias had been seen friendly with a Grisha, and Jesper was rather sure that word had gotten around, which meant that Matthias wouldn’t exactly be welcome in his own country. At least, that was what he assumed.

“And you think we can trust van Eck with this?” Jesper asked, pulling Wylan’s hand into his lap, cradling it in both of his own to reassure him a little more.

“I don’t. But we have a secret weapon” Kaz turned towards them, but then his eyes focussed on Wylan, which made Jesper a little uneasy. Maybe, they were revealing now what they’d been talking about in secret. “Meet Wylan van Eck.”

Jesper blinked once, twice, trying to comprehend what Kaz had just said. His mouth went dry when Wylan pulled his hand from his grip.

“That’s not a very good joke, Boss.” Eventually, Jesper managed to turn his head and look at Wylan properly, before his attention was back on Kaz.

“Do you wanna dress him up like a merchant’s son? Is that your plan, Kaz?” Nina crossed her arms, crying her best to follow what he meant.

“Technically, he is one,” Kaz elaborated a little further, leaning on his cane. “And it wasn’t a joke, Jesper. He is Jan van Eck’s son, but has been going by his mother’s name.”

“Wylan?” Jesper looked at him again, his heart beating rapidly in his chest. He’d never breathed a word about this, had never mentioned his father, but then again, they hadn’t really talked much about his family altogether. Still, this wasn’t anything Jesper would have expected in a million years.

He didn’t hear the rest of the conversation, because his thoughts were all over the place with that new information. It wasn’t like Wylan had lied to him in general, but he was still hurt that he hadn’t known about this. And more importantly why Wylan had been living the way he had, barely any money and nothing proper to eat for a while, when he had a whole mansion to call his home. It didn’t make sense. What irked him even more was that Kaz knew all that, knew who Wylan really was, where he’d come from, who his father was. That begged the question whether Inej had known that as well. He was rather sure that she had known. It made him feel left out. Left out by the person he lo… liked so much.

“We’re done here. I’ll send word to each of you after I find us a ship, but be ready to sail by tomorrow night,” Kaz announced, and that was when Jesper snapped back into the conversation. His head was still spinning, trying to comprehend the new information.

“I’ll take a little walk,” he said to Wylan as he was getting up, running a hand over his hair.

“Jes…” Wylan got up as well, reaching out his hand towards Jesper, but quickly dropping it again. Jesper’s heart was aching when he saw him like this, but talking now wouldn’t be good for either of them. He needed to think, needed some fresh air, and needed to be alone for once.

“Just… give me an hour, okay? I just need to clear my head a little.” He wanted to say something more, that he shouldn’t worry, that everything was okay, but the words wouldn’t come out. Because he didn’t believe them wholeheartedly as of yet. That was why he needed to go for a walk and clear his head. The last thing he wanted was to hurt Wylan, but right now, it seemed inevitable. Before he spent more time just lingering around, not saying anything more, he headed outside, taking a deep calming breath, once the night air hit his face.

Jesper wasn’t sure whether he’d get some proper sleep tonight, because at the moment, there was too much on his mind to find some kind of peace. He was walking without a real goal, just moving through the city to clear his head, which didn’t really work that well if he was being honest.

His fingers were itching, his eyes drawn to the gambling halls of the barrel. Going in there for a little game would give him a sense of control back, when he was feeling like he was spiralling down, down, down, so close to hitting the ground and breaking. It had been wise not to take any money with him, because he’d known that he’d end up at this point. Thanks to Wylan, he hadn’t gambled in a long time, and he wouldn’t throw that away because of this, would he?

Wylan was still the same person he’d fallen for, the same person, who’d wowed him at the piano and had made his heart nearly beat out of his chest in that moment. The same Wylan who’d saved his life with the Cyan Morpho. The same Wylan who looked so utterly charming and sweet in the morning when he was just waking up, his hair a mess, and a smile on his lips that was only meant for Jesper. Nothing had changed about this, about the way Wylan made him feel. He was still the same person who could be so shy and scared, but bold and snarky at the same time. The same person who’d stolen Jesper’s heart. It didn’t matter who his father was, where he was coming from, and it wasn’t about that really. It was the fact that this was kept secret from him when Kaz had known for who knows how long.

In the end, Jesper had been gone longer than an hour, but at least he returned home. A home he shared with Wylan, because he’d wanted it that way, wanted to have Wylan by his side all the time. Jesper took a deep breath as he walked up the stairs and reached for his key. His heart rate skyrocketed again, because he was nervous to talk to Wylan about this, wondering what else he might not know about him. Once he’d unlocked the door and stepped inside, he found Wylan sitting on the edge of the bed, wide eyes looking back at Jesper. He’d been crying, Jesper was sure of it. The slightly puffy and red eyes, the damp collar of his shirt... Jesper felt terrible that he’d made Wylan feel like this, but he’d needed to get away.

“You’re still awake,” Jesper observed, taking off his coat to hang it over the back of a chair. All he wanted was to wrap Wylan up in his arms and hold him tight, but he figured that wouldn’t lead to them talking about the whole situation, which was very much needed.

“I… was waiting for you.” Wylan slowly got up from where he was sitting, taking a tentative step towards Jesper.

“Well, here I am.” Jesper shrugged his shoulders. He didn’t want to be so cold to him, but it just happened, his emotions getting the better of him.

“You’re making this really hard for me.”

“And you think it was easy for me to hear that you were lying to me?”

“Technically, I wasn’t lying to you.” Wylan straightened his shoulders a little, getting defensive, and he had every right to do so.

“Fair enough… But you kept this a secret from me when Kaz knew!” That was the part that hurt the most for him. If Kaz hadn’t known, it wouldn’t be a problem for Jesper. Not one bit.

“It’s not like I told Kaz who I am, who my father is. He already knew.” Wylan took a deep breath, running a hand through his hair and leaving it in utter disarray like this. Honestly, Jesper had to hold back not to reach out his hand and do the same to his hair. “He knew way before he recruited me and I only found out now.”

“He did?” Now, that surprised Jesper as well. He’d thought that Kaz had found out, and had decided to make use of that knowledge, but he’d known all along. Actually, he shouldn’t be surprised, since this was Kaz Brekker they were talking about.

“Yes. He’s been keeping an eye on me ever since I…” Wylan hesitated, trying to find the right word. “Appeared in the Barrel.”

“How did you end up here anyway? I don’t understand how you could run from such a sheltered life to live on the streets.” Jesper eventually walked over to Wylan, but only to sit down on the bed. Whatever was coming now, he thought it might be better to sit down, and Wylan seemed to be thinking the same thing. He sat down next to Jesper, but with a little bit of distance between them.

“It wasn’t exactly my choice, but I should have left a long time ago,” Wylan said quietly, his eyes cast downward, When jesper realised that Wylan was clasping his hands together, unclasping them, rubbing his fingers together, he reached out one hand to take Wylan’s. He couldn’t hold back anymore, and he figured that they both needed this kind of contact.

“What happened, Wy?” His anger slowly dissipated when he saw Wylan like this. It was obvious that it wasn’t an easy topic for him, but Jesper had no idea just how crucial it was.

“I was… never good enough for my father. I tried and tried and tried, had tutors to teach me how to read, but nothing worked. I just couldn’t learn to read and write properly. I started to memorise things, stories, just to get by a little bit, but my father wouldn’t have it.” Wylan sighed, running his thumb along Jesper’s, because it calmed him down. “He told me multiple times that I was a failure, a disgrace to the van Eck name, that nothing would ever become of me.”

“Wylan…” Jesper had to bite his bottom lip to keep himself from talking, because he wanted Wylan to go on, didn’t want to stop him. But the anger inside him rose again, but not because Wylan had kept these things from him, no, because he’d been treated like that by his own father. The one person who should love him unconditionally. Jesper knew that not all families were loving, but you only realised that when you were able to see behind the facade. After his own mother had died, he’d been lucky to have a loving, caring father by his side. He hadn’t done everything right, had been scared as well, but what he’d given Jesper had been a whole lot of love. Something that seemed to be a foreign word for Jan van Eck. It made Jesper understand Wylan’s behaviour even more when he’d found out that he couldn’t read. He hadn’t meant anything bad with his words, and he was glad that they’d been able to work through this. Knowing this kind of backstory made Jesper understand Wylan a lot better, though.

“When my Mum died… I wasn’t allowed to attend her funeral. He said he didn’t want me there, and I never really got to say goodbye. I don’t even know where she’s buried.”

“He did what?” Jesper sat up a little straighter before he scooted over to Wylan, finally closing the distance between them. Maybe he needed that more than Wylan, because this… this really made him mad and want to go over there and teach that man a lesson. Losing a parent was never easy, especially at a fairly young age, but at least Jesper knew where his mother was buried. He couldn’t imagine what Wylan had felt like.

“Yeah… and when I tried to sneak out to get to the funeral somehow, he caught me and punished me once again. It wasn’t the first and it wasn’t the last time.” Wylan’s free hand touched his belly, making Jesper freeze.

“He did that?” He’d wondered where Wylan had gotten the scars on his abdomen, but he hadn’t asked about them, realising rather quickly that it was a sensitive topic for Wylan. When he nodded, Jesper knew why Wylan hadn’t told him anything about them yet. If he ever got his hands on Jan van Eck, he wasn’t sure just what he’d do, but it wouldn’t be nice.

“It wasn’t the worst thing he did.” Wylan shrugged his shoulders, trying to play it down, but Jesper wasn’t having any of it.

“Wylan… what do you mean?”

“How I ended up in the Barrel… It was because of him.” Slowly, Wylan looked up at Jesper for a moment, before he cast his eyes downward again. As if he had to make sure that Jesper was still there, no matter that he was holding his hand. “He told me that he’d send me to the music school in Belendt. Needless to say, I was really excited. Two of his men were supposed to take me there. I was really looking forward to seeing the area while we were on the boat, but we went in the middle of the night.”

Jesper had a feeling it had nothing to do with the fares being cheaper, but more to do with nobody seeing them.

“It all happened so quickly. I was… being strangled, unable to breathe anymore, and I panicked. I really can’t tell you everything that happened, because it’s a bit of a blur, but I ended up in the water, and that was the best thing to happen in the end. Otherwise, I wouldn't have survived this. I only had what I had in my satchel at that time, but at least, I found a place to stay for a start, and then some work at the tannery.”

“I’m really glad you were in that water and managed to save yourself. Saints, Wylan, this is… I don’t even have words.” Jesper needed a moment to process all this. He’d always known that Jan van Eck wasn’t a good person, but that he’d punished his son that way, had even tried to get rid of him, he wouldn’t have imagined in his wildest dreams.

“I’m still struggling to comprehend all this. I mean, I wasn’t even sure whether my father had ordered them to kill me or whether it had been someone else who’d paid them well enough to go behind my father’s back.”

“That’s understandable.” Though after everything Jesper had heard, he was rather sure that van Eck had put them up to this. Still, he understood that Wylan didn’t want to believe that, still holding onto the idea that his father had some shred of love left for him. Jesper wasn’t so optimistic about this.

“I hope… you understand why I didn’t want to talk about this. It’s a past life. This mansion, it’s not a home for me. It’s a place I used to live in, but ever since my mother’s passing, it hasn’t felt like a home at all.”

“You do have a home here, though.” Jesper slowly let go of Wylan’s hand only to pull him closer with one arm around him, raising the other hand to cup his cheek and make Wylan look at him.

“Do I? You don’t want to get rid of me?” Wylan’s voice was even quieter than before, making jesper’s heart ache for him.

“Of course I don’t want to get rid of you. I-” love you. The words were on the tip of his tongue, but they wouldn’t come over his lips. Not like that. “You have your own little dysfunctional and slightly mad family here, Wy, nothing’s gonna change that. And I never wanted to make you doubt that, okay?” Wylan nodded. “I’m sorry that I made you sad and worried.”

“I know.” Wylan pressed his cheek against Jesper’s hand, needing his touch more than he’d like to admit. “And I understand that you needed a moment to yourself.”

“I did… but I’m glad that you told me all of this. Thank you.”

“Thank you for allowing me to tell you all this.”

“You can always talk to me, I hope you know that now.”

“I do.”

Wylan was the one to kiss him first, and it was like he’d been waiting all day for this to happen, which was ridiculous, but it felt like that. Kissing Wylan was one of the most wonderful things in the world, and it always felt special, like Jesper couldn’t believe his luck that he got to kiss this wonderful man. And he wanted to keep doing it for the rest of his life, and he was starting with that right now. They both needed this, needed to be close to each other, and this night, they slept even more tangled up in each other than they usually did. In the end, all of this had brought them closer together, and jesper was glad that he now knew what had happened to Wylan.

That had been the last bit of peace and quiet, because they next night, they were fighting for their lives when it wasn’t as easy to get on the schooner as they’d hoped. It was hectic, it was a mess, and Jesper was just glad that he could keep an eye on Wylan. The problem was that he couldn’t find the others. He had no idea where Kaz and Inej were, and Nina and Matthias had to be at least close to them somewhere. The attack had come out of nowhere, and now Jesper needed to find the others, see if he could help them somehow, but therefore, he needed to see something.

“I need to get the high ground. Keep them back and distracted as long as you can.” He directed his words at Wylan, not really wanting to leave him alone down here, but he didn’t really have a choice.

“Jesper—” began Wylan

“No one gets past you. If they take down this schooner, we’re done for.”Jesper seized the moment to kiss Wylan, before he climbed up the mast. He was nearly at the crow’s nest, when he felt a sharp, searing pain in his thigh. One of them shot a bullet right through the flesh and Jesper nearly lost his footing, but he knew that the others needed his help, and so he tried his best to ignore the pain and pulled himself up. As soon as he was up there, he raised his rifle and started shooting. It was a mess, but at least, he could make out Matthias and Nina. More than ten men were in their way and they’d need some help. There was still no sign of Inej and Kaz.

“Jesper!” he heard Wylan call out to him, but chose to ignore him, because he needed to focus to shoot. But then Wylan called again, this time even more insistent. “Jesper!”

“What do you want?” He couldn’t be under direct attack, Jesper had checked that before, and Wylan wasn’t alone down there, since Rott was with him.

“Close your eyes.”

What in Ghezen’s name… Was he joking around now?

“You can’t kiss me from down there, Wylan,” Jesper called back, still trying to focus on his next target, but at least he hadn’t lost his sense of humour or his will to flirt with Wylan.

“Just do it!”

“As long as I’ll get kisses later on…” Jesper said more to himself, before he closed his eyes. “This better be good.”

“Are they closed?”

“Damn it, Wylan, yes they’re—” Jesper immediately understood why Wylan had told him to close his eyes when bright light bloomed behind Jesper’s lids, and there was a shrill, shrieking sound. Jesper’s heart jumped in his throat, and he stayed like this for a moment longer. Once he opened his eyes again, he was able to focus on the other men, who had been blinded by Wylan’s flash bomb, and he started shooting again. He could kiss Wylan, and he would once they’d left the shore with everyone on board.

So much for kissing Wylan once they were a safe distance from the shore. It had been an even bigger mess than jesper had thought. Nina had taken care of his thigh and he was able to walk with relatively little pain, Wylan had been patched up as well, but the way Inej looked… Jesper was really worried. He might shoot people, he might defend himself, but seeing his friends, his family injured, it really got to him. Especially with all the blood Inej had lost. He’d been on edge, worrying about her, and Kaz hadn’t really made it any better with his behaviour.

Jesper had wanted to get some answers out of Oomen as well, had dragged him to the rail with Matthias, but he wouldn’t have been able to do what Kaz had done. Jesper had held the man, but when Kaz had used his knife and ripped out Oomen’s eye, Jesper had nearly keeled over. He’d heard Wylan as well, but hadn’t been able to get to him. The more he’d heard, the more he’d worried about this whole situation, because with Pekka Rollins in the picture, things would get even nastier. He should have expected Kaz to throw Oomen overboard, but it had caught him a little off-guard. Maybe that had also been because of Wylan’s reaction. Despite hanging with the Dregs for a while now, things like this still surprised Wylan, and Jesper could see why.

“Do you want to go over too?” Kaz had asked him, and Wylan had shown some spite with his reaction.

“You won’t throw me overboard. You need me.”

“Maybe. But I’m not in a very rational mood.”

That had been Jesper’s moment to step in. He’d known Kaz long enough to know that this was no situation in which he’d be able to talk to Kaz. Not with Inej below deck, unconscious by the hands of the man he’d just thrown into the water.

“Let it go.” He’d said, putting a hand on Wylan’s shoulder to draw his attention to himself and away from Kaz.

“It’s not right—”

“Wylan,” Jesper had given him a gentle shake, so that Wylan had finally turned to look at him. “Maybe your tutors didn’t cover this lesson, but you do not argue with a man covered in blood and a knife up his sleeve.”

Wylan had looked at him for a moment, before he’d broken free from his touch and walked past him to get below deck. Jesper had wanted to go after him, but Kaz had had some other plans for him, and so he’d been busy.

He had a feeling that Wylan was avoiding him. They weren’t sleeping at the same time usually, and when Jesper went below deck to look after Wylan, he seemed to already be asleep - or pretending to be so they didn’t have to talk, jesper couldn’t be sure. Conversations were brief, but that was on both sides, since they were all worried about Inej. Once she was doing better, Jesper felt more alive again. While Wylan and Kaz talked more and Wylan got some instructions for things to do and prepare from Kaz, Jesper was going a little crazy, because he didn’t have that much to do. And in a way it irked him that Wylan seemed to be spending more time with Matthias. Yes, it was due to the job, but he wanted to be by Wylan’s side as well. He missed him, which was ridiculous, since they were on a small boat, so they were always kind of close. Maybe it was the privacy that was missing, because they could always talk the best when it was just the two of them. Jesper knew that he was being more open then as well. But they didn’t have that here, and he felt like Wylan was slipping away from him. Maybe, he had to finally say out loud what he felt, no matter who was watching or listening. But he needed Wylan to know.

They were getting closer to Fjerda and would probably reach it in the morning. It was late, but Jesper couldn’t sleep, and neither could Wylan and Matthias apparently. They were standing at the bow of the schooner looking ahead, talking to each other. While Jesper didn’t want to interrupt them, he still had to keep an eye on them, because he didn’t want Wylan to vanish below deck again before he got a chance to talk to him.

A gust of wind made him shiver. Luckily, they’d brought appropriate clothes for their journey, so Jesper had been able to change into something that kept him warm. He couldn’t hear what they were talking about, but he saw the way Wylan looked at Matthias. He looked up, then lowered his head again, as if he was contemplating what to say. Wylan stepped a little closer to Matthias, raised his hand as if to console him, but dropped it before he touched him.

When Matthias turned, he nodded at Wylan before he came walking straight towards Jesper. Instinctively, he straightened, squaring his shoulders, because he had no idea what was going to happen. But to be fair, Matthias just looked tired, defeated, almost sad. Nothing Jesper had expected.

“Talk to him,” Matthias said as he stopped next to Jesper. “Tell him before it’s too late.”

“Tell him what?” Jesper’s heart thudded against his ribcage, it was almost painful.

Matthias cast a glance over to where Nina was sitting with Inej, getting some fresh air after spending most of the time below deck. “He needs to know.”

Jesper had apparently not been the only one watching others, because Matthias had watched him as well. But he was right, Wylan needed to know, especially after telling him all that about his father. And he wanted Wylan to hear these words as well, even if it was scary for him to say this. He’d told Wylan that he couldn’t predict what might happen between them, that he’d like to find out, and now he was sure that he didn’t want to spend a day without him anymore.

He took another deep breath before he walked up to Wylan, who was still standing at the rail, looking ahead. In the distance, he could see pinpricks of light glittering against the dark horizon. Fjerda. They’d be able to leave this boat in the morning, hopefully.

“How are you feeling?” he asked Wylan, leaning against the rail, turning his head to the side so he could look at him. Wylan on the other hand kept his eyes on Fjerda.

“Alright I guess.”

“Have you been avoiding me?” Jesper reached out his hand to take Wylan’s, who wasn’t pulling back, but he could see his whole body stiffening, and knew that he was onto something.

“I… I didn’t mean to. Honestly. It’s just been a lot, and there’s so much in my head, I—”

“I get it.” Jesper squeezed his hand, trying to reassure him. “That’s how I felt a couple of days ago when I took that walk.” Because he’d needed some time to himself. Here on the boat, there was no real possibility for Wylan to be completely by himself.

“Thank you for understanding.”

“Of course. I was just worried that I’d done something wrong.”

“No. No you haven’t. Just…” Wylan licked his lips before he kept talking. “When you talked about my tutors—”

“Oh saints, I hadn’t thought about that. I didn’t mean anything by that really.” The last thing he’d wanted, had been to remind Wylan of the life he’d left behind. A life where he had never been good enough. For Jesper, he was the biggest jackpot he’d ever been able to fight for, and he was still hoping that he would win. But therefore, he’d have to put his heart on a plate and hand it over to him, and that was terrifying.

“I know. It just hit me at that moment, and after that… I wanted nothing more than to spend time with you, but it wasn’t really possible. With the things I had to do, and I was just so tired.”

That was a huge relief, because it meant that Wylan hadn’t pretended to be asleep just so he hadn’t needed to talk to him.

“I understand.” Jesper turned more towards him so that he was facing him properly, Wylan’s hand still in his. Now that he knew that it had been more in his head than anything, he could breathe properly again. And he felt his heart full of so much love for Wylan, that he didn’t even think twice about it before he opened his lips to say: “I love you.”

Wylan’s eyes widened, his fingers squeezed around Jesper’s and his mouth opened, but no words came out. For a moment, Wylan just looked at him, until he managed to say: “I don’t deserve you.”

Jesper blinked once, twice, taken aback by that kind of response, because it was nothing he’d ever expected as a reaction to these three little words. When Wylan looked down between them, but still held onto Jesper’s hand, he slowly came back to himself.

“Wylan…” he whispered, shaking his head.

He knew how Wylan had grown up, knew about the things his father had done to him, had indoctrinated him with. Jan van Eck had made Wylan believe that he was unworthy of love, and it broke his heart. Here was the most wonderful, most caring man right in front of him, and he didn’t think that he deserved to be loved.

“Look at me, Wylan,” he said softly, using his free hand to pinch Wylan’s chin and make him look up at him again. “You deserve everything good in the world. And you deserve to be loved with all the love you put out into the world. Nobody’s gonna stop me from loving you anyway, so whether you think you deserve it or not, won’t change a thing. You have my love, you have my heart.” Jesper smiled, hoping that he could elicit the same reaction in Wylan, and he did. It was a small smile, but it was an honest one. He’d learned to make out the difference.

Wylan let go of Jesper’s hand only to wrap his arms around his neck and kiss him. A heavy weight was lifted from his shoulders upon that kind of reaction. Sometimes, actions spoke louder than words, and Jesper couldn’t describe what this kiss meant to him. He wrapped his arms around Wylan’s middle to hold him close, not wanting to let him go. They had to break apart eventually.

“I love you too.” Wylan’s voice was quiet in the limited space between them, since neither of them wanted to let go of the other one, but no matter how quiet or loud these words were, they made Jesper’s heart nearly jump out of his chest. He’d meant what he’d said, Wylan had his heart, and he knew that it was in the best hands there. Wylan made him happy. So happy that he couldn’t put it into words, but he didn’t even have to. He could just kiss Wylan again and enjoy this moment. Fjerda was waiting for them in the morning, but they had the whole night to themselves to make up for the time the hadn’t spent together on this journey, and Jesper would sure as hell not let go of Wylan for the next couple of hours at least.

#wesper #wylan x jesper #jesper x wylan #wesper fic #wesper fanfic #shadow and bone #six of crows #six of crows fanfic #wylan van eck #jesper fahey #staffi writes #based on the third army summit and what we were fed

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19burstraat · 9 months ago

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when existence or when hope is gone : soc jane austen / regency au

"And have you made this entire call without once vexing or offending poor Miss Ghafa?” Captain Rietveld looked coolly at him. Inej bent her head over her sewing to hide her smiling, since she was not sure she would not laugh outright. She had not thought that Wylan would deliberately provoke the Captain, but perhaps his deference to his father did not reach anyone else. “I am sure that is not for me to decide,” said the Captain, “But I own I have been perfectly well behaved.” “Does he lie, Miss Ghafa?” “No— he has been quite tolerable company,” said Inej. “If not quite a perfect gentleman.” “You wound me, Miss Ghafa.” “I suspect I do not, Captain.”

contextual and explanatory notes about regency literary and social conventions are below the cut if you have questions during/after reading! plus some trivia for fun :)

The redacting of certain place names (—shire, — Street) is accurate to lots of old novels, where you will see it from time to time. I think it was a deliberate omission to avoid libel accusations if they accidentally invoked somewhere or someone real, or to also avoid confusing people if it contradicted real life. I used it here both to mimic the style, and also because that way didn't have to pick streets or regions lol.

The 'cut direct' was a social nuke and Kaz has balls of steel for using it on an older man who is his social superior 💀 if you very deliberately stared at and then blanked a previous acquaintance who had greeted you, it severed a relationship or acquaintance forever and could also make people turn on the person being cut. Pekka could have challenged him to a duel for it, but sensibly I think he saw the lapse in logic in giving a pistol to a soldier who holds you responsible for his brother's death and letting him shoot at you

A reticule is one of those dumb tiny handbags that regency ladies had

Governesses were in a uniquely vulnerable position. Not genteel enough for the family while not technically a servant, they tended to be isolated. While they were ofc not comparable to what Inej canonically goes through, many were abused by the families they worked for, rivalled the mothers for their children's affection, and some were harassed and abused by husbands or male visitors. There's a reason Jane Fairfax does not want to be one in Emma.

The navy lists are a publication that, unsurprisingly, list all the men, their ranks, and their ships currently trundling around on campaign. Kaz checks them to see who is still alive and to backseat drive campaigns (what's new!) and Wylan waits on tenterhooks for him to find Jesper. Which he always does because he was already looking for him.

Married couples did not tend to call one another by their given names, at least not in company; Nina and Matthias do it because they have a fond disrespect for one another. Or Nina does anyway and it's rubbed off on Matthias.

Although Kaz and Inej are comparatively very young, twenty six is pushing it for the 'marriageability' of young women; Anne Elliot was twenty seven and was considered to have lost the 'bloom' of her youth, so she is being bourne down upon a bit.

The money concerns in Persuasion— landed gentry losing money and soldiers becoming 'new' money in the war via prize money, but still being looked down upon by the old nobility— are kinda reflected through Kaz and Jesper.

(to be so honest I do not quite understand how the regency economy worked but I figured that like, no one else reading this does either, unless ur a regency specialist. if you are, sorry. how's academia?)

I think we're actually not quite yet at the peak of the 'scandal sheet' Bridgerton-Lady-Whistledown craze, but I couldn't possibly deprive Kaz and Inej of their fishmarket wife gossip habit in any universe.

I also hate Lord Byron. Next!

Nina, Matthias, and Inej are not at the Wesper wedding because regency weddings were super tiny affairs that only had v close / local family and friends at them

I think the circumstances of Kaz and Jordie having been minor landed gentry having to join the navy out of necessity may be a bit of a stretch but... Well I had to think of something to replicate Kaz's backstory with. The easier solution would have been for them to marry rich but I can see Jordie thinking that trying to marry Kaz 'Cut Direct' Rietveld off to a Duchess might be a bit tough

A trousseau was the collection of clothes that women bought before they were married; it was an expected thing, to send brides off with new clothes. Nina and Mrs Ghafa (and Jesper) are a lot more interested in this than poor Inej is lol.

The made up house names are entirely inside jokes with myself. Geldings references horses but is actually a play on the Geldstraat, Crawley means 'clearing frequented by crows', Stavewell is a play on the Stave where Tante Heleen and the Menagerie are, and I think Trasselwood is fairly obvious lol.

#the edit's wonky ik. shhhh #six of crows #soc #soc fic #my fics #kanej #six of crows fic #my post #austen au

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steponmeinejghafa · 2 years ago

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Little Crow Pt. 1

Summary: The Crows (Kaz, Inej, Jesper, Wylan, Nina, and Matthias) find a lost child and kinda raise them as their own. So, a collection of scenarios where they all try and (sometimes fail) to parent you.

Six of Crows x Child!Ravkan!Reader

Age: 6

———

The afternoon sun beat down harshly on the streets, making its rays glint off blindingly from closed windows of the nearby buildings.

There you were, standing outside, alone and scared, lost in the streets of the Barrel. You’d managed to escape the slaver’s ship, and you were desperate to find food and shelter. Tears gushed down your cheeks as the sights and sounds overwhelmed you, and you backed away into an alley, unbeknownst to a watching figure nearby.

Kaz Brekker was not unfamiliar with the strangeness and frightening demeanour of the Barrel, so it was no wonder that he found a crying child in an alley, with nothing but the clothes on her back and not a penny to her name.

He limped towards you and tapped on you shoulder gingerly, “Excuse me, young lady, are you lost?”

You gasped and smacked his hand away, not knowing if he was a just being friendly or just a slaver in disguise. Kaz didn’t wince, simply smirked as he silently appreciated your fiery and vigilant spirit.

“Where are your parents, little one?” He asked, eyebrow raised.

“I—I don’t know,” you replied, about to burst into another flurry of tears. “I escaped from the ship, that’s all I remember.”

Seething internally, Kaz muttered to himself, “Damn slavers,” before looking at you with shockingly gentle eyes as he added in a slightly lighter tone, “Why don’t you come with me, I’ll give you some shelter and warmth for the night. Then you can be on the next ship back to…” he paused, unsure of where you were from.

“Ravka,” you corrected.

“Ah,” he nodded. “Your Kerch is very good, for a Ravkan,” he admitted as he let you hold his coat sleeve and walk with him back to the Crow Club.

“My mother was Kerch,” you said, feeling comfortable with this strange crippled man with a sour face. He gave you the vibe of a guarded, but well-intentioned person. “My father was a Ravkan translator for the foreigners who’d visit, so I know many languages!” You puffed your chest out with pride, earning a soft chuckle from Kaz.

“Interesting,” he said. “I didn’t catch your name, though.”

“I didn’t tell you my name,” you replied, frowning.

“Naturally. But if you’re going to stay with me for a while, we should get to know each other.” He replied, ushering you inside the club as you both arrived.

“You first,” you said, crossing your arms over your chest.

“I’m Kaz Brekker,” he said. “The owner of this club.”

“I’m…I’m Y/n L/n,” you replied, “The owner of nothing.”

He barked a laugh, something which didn’t happen often, and limped to his office, where he could offer you some peace and quiet.

“There’s a bed, and I can ask around for some clean clothes,” he offered. “You can go to the bathroom there and bathe while I do.”

“Thank you, Mister Brekker!” You smiled, running to the bathroom.

Inej, meanwhile, had crept in, soundlessly as usual, saying softly, “Seems like Kaz Brekker has a soft side.”

“Please,” he scoffed, rolling his eyes. “The child is here temporarily. I’m just offering her something which none of us got when we were alone in the world.”

“Like what, letting her sleep in your bed, bathe in your own bathroom, going out of your way to actually buy her clothes?” Smirked the Suli, placing her knives down.

“She escaped a slaver’s ship, Inej,” said Kaz. “It’s a wonder how she’s still alive.”

“She’s got the potential to be a Crow, wouldn’t you say?” Suggested Inej, crossing her arms across her chest. Seeing his stubborn face, she added, “Come on, we both know her parents are dead and she’s got no family to go back to.”

“And?” He replied, limping over to the door, calling for one of the worker boys and asking him to fetch some comfortable clothes for a child.

“She needs a family, Kaz,” the Wraith replied, following him. “Can’t we just do that? Can’t you?”

Kaz thought for a moment, and sighed, “Fine. But we’ll have to tell the other crows, too. Jesper, Wylan, Nina.”

“Nina is going to be thrilled,” said Inej. “Trust me.”

You came out of the bathroom, wearing one of Katz’s shirts which was long enough to be a dress for you, and your face dropped into an expression of intense vigilance again as your eyes landed on Inej and her knives which glinted in their sheaths.

“Mister Brekker,” you said, eyes wide with fear. “Who is she?”

“This is—“ Kaz began, but Inej cut him off with a hand.

“I’m Inej Ghafa,” she smiled, approaching you, hands up in surrender to show you she meant no harm. “I’m a friend of Kaz.”

“Oh,” you said. “You’re not a slaver’s friend then, right?”

Inej laughed and shook her head, “No, I’m not.”

The worker boy appeared at the doorway, panting as he held a paper bag in his hand. He handed it to Kaz, and scurried away, before he former handed you the bag.

“It’s something I figured you might like. My shirt cannot possibly be your only source of clothing,” said Kaz, his jaw set firmly as usual, but his eyes still held that same softness.

You accepted the bag with a happy little ‘thank you’, and pulled out a shirt with a pair of pants and suspenders, which made you laugh gleefully.

“It’s comfy!” You grinned after having run to the bathroom to put it on.

Another knock sounded at the door, making your face turn fearful again. What if the slavers had found you?

It wasn’t the slaver, as three bright and cheerful faces appeared at the doorway. Two males and one female.

The woman gasped and rushed towards you, before she had to take a pause to ask Inej, “Why’s her heart racing so fast?”

“She escaped from a slaver’s ship,” explained the Wraith. “Kaz seems to have gone soft, so he took her in.”

The woman nodded and waved her hands, slowing your heart rate down and calming you. A Heartrender? More importantly, a Grisha?

“Hi,” said the Grisha with a beaming smile at you. “I’m Nina Zenik. This is Jesper Fahey and Wylan Van Eck. We’re friends, don’t worry.”

The reassuring words and Nina’s smile kept you at ease, and you looked at Kaz, asking, “Why did Inej say you ‘took me in’?”

The man limped over to you and kneeled to your height, making sure not to put too much pressure on his bad leg, before saying, “How would you like for us to be your new family, Y/n?”

You thought about it for a moment, before asking, “You’re all going to take care of me?”

“Yeah,” nodded Nina.

“Absolutely,” said Inej.

You nodded and looked at Kaz, responding to his question, “I’d like that.”

“Well,” said the Zemeni-looking boy, “Welcome to the Crows, little one. Get ready for a life of madness, mayhem, and murder.”

“Do we beat people up? The bad people?” You asked with a big grin on your face, looking at Kaz.

“Oh yes we do, little crow,” he replied, smirking slightly.

“I don’t know this kid,” said Jesper with a grin, “But I love her already.”

#kidfic #sixofcrows #six of crows x child reader #found family #fluff #wholesome Kaz Brekker #leighbardugo #inej ghafa #Nina zenik #Jesper fahey #Wylan van eck

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