#whatever ill figure it out later

[brandwhorestarscream]

thinly veiled sex cult au 👀

I need you to know that i get really excited whenever i see you in my ask box because you always enable my wildest nonsense XD ty for that, please never change

SO THE THINLY VEILED SEX CULT AU

I can't take full credit for the initial inception of this AU. Look up Quiet_Shadow on AO3 if you wanna have a look at the source material. Specifically their fic titled Undercover Woes. Great read, 10/10 highly reccomend

BUT ANYWAY!!

The thinly veiled sex cults are on cybertronian agricultural planets (independent governance, not affiliated with autobots or decepticons), and they grow energon crystals that are refined into fuel and exported. When Cybertron goes dark, they're the only sources of food in the universe. Not important rn tho!

Vast majority of the agricultural planets' land is rural, with little pockets of small town suburbia here and there functioning as "big cities". Little energon farming villages are typically made up of 15-25 properties, incredibly tight knit and close little communities. Incredibly quaint and charming, if not for the aforementioned sex cults

Pretty much every small town you come across is one of said sex cults. Public interfacing isn't just accepted, it is expected. Sex is how they pray to Primus, and these villages are hella religious. When they marry, there's a public consummation. They have rather strict roles that each mecha in a couple fulfills: the conjunx is the more dominant partner who does the spiking and primarily works the fields and does all the heavy labor. The endura is the more submissive partner, designated to carry their sparklings. When they enter a union, the future endura will have their modesty panel removed and melted down to make their wedding rings, and they even start wearing dresses to maintain their modesty 🤭 they have sex parties, festivals centered around fertility and conception, and absolutely no contraception is allowed. As you can imagine, that leads to farmers having pretty big families with lots of sparklings running around

Now consider 👀 assigning aome of our favorite mecha to live in one of these farming villages. Some outsider crash landing there! Perhaps going undercover as a newlywed couple in one such community. Wouldn't that be juicy?

[xxplastic-cubexx]

personal happiness or what the fuck ever

bonus:

[triglycercule]

who asked for this. nobody. but unfortunately as a creator i actually have to CREATE for my au 😞😞😞😒😒😒 jk fashion au ink and swap designs ig,,,,,,

ink. ink. ink. she's totally not holding a gun to my head as i type this,,,,, because she CANT break the fourth wall ok she totally doesnt realize that she's forever gonna be stuck living life as a high schooler with no chance of ever graduating or progressing in life,,,,, BECAUSE THERE'S NO ANGST IN JK FASHION AU HAAHAHAH 😁😁😁😁 anyways she's soooo silly :3333 i'm not a connoisseur of anyone that's not the mtt (biased 🙂🙂🙂) but i wanted her to be silly but also a bit freakish,,,, ya!

what do the people think about INK???? featuring everyone in jk fashion au so far 😇😇

dream: "ink is another one of my close friends. she's been there for me when even nightmare couldn't, and i've supported her likewise. sometimes her head is in the clouds, so i send her texts to remind her of things like homework and such. maybe she forgets lunch sometimes, so swap and i give her a share of ours. and when ink wants to talk about anything she's thinking of, whether it's a painter's use of color or the reason we exist, i'm always open to listening. she's an amazing person, really."

nightmare: "ink. ah, that girl is an enigma, truly. somedays she supports me on my path to world domination, and other days she just laughs at me and says as if it were a fact that i would never achieve it! ugh... but despite my slight grievances, she's dream's friend, and i've grown fond of her. quite often, without me even requesting, she gifts me paintings. now, they may seem normal at first, but recently i've discovered a pattern with them. as if ink had peered into the mind of god and depicted it visually, the paintings assist me in handling dream appropriately. i must say, she's skilled as well..."

killer: "see now ink? she's my type of gal. we get along pretty well, hehe! we're on the same wavelength or something, i dunno. not like she can predict what i do, but i wouldn't be surprised if she could, but ink and i just click. we talk about all sorts of silly stuff; similar sense of humor, after all. ink and i can yap about different shows and movies we've watched and stuff, she gives really good insight on the more technical stuff like color psychology and framing, and she once drew me art for one of my big follower milestones on twitter! she's suuuuper cool, haha!"

dust: "okay, just... keep this between me and you, but i think ink has some sort of secret sixth sense? i dunno. nothing against her, she's a fun person. just that, uh... sometimes she just comes up to me when i least expect it and starts asking me about my progress on my writing. which is... confusing. i've only ever told killer and horror about my writing, so i don't know how she knows...?"

horror: "y'know, dust and i have a bit of a bet going on. all jokes and all, but i've got a feeling ink's pulling some sort of elaborate spying prank with how much she knows about us... dust doesn't think so. but i'm betting 20 bucks she does. like, once i was at a vending machine and the stupid thing didn't give me my goddamn candy bar, ugh. i had to stay cool. but then ink just pops out of nowhere, says its okay for me to drop the act and get mad around her, and then does some sort of vending machine trick to get the candy?? yeah, she's definitely a wizard or something. in a nice way, i guess."

NOW SWWAAAAAAPPP she's silly. i included the bit of her getting into trouble because of her good will SOLELY because swap gets bullied a lot in other aus 💀 (askerror, something new, etc,,,,,,) i also read a canon underswap doc??? SWAP IS SO SILLY!!!!! i cant really explain her personality through text i'd need to draw comics for her which uhhhh,,,,, (looks away)

THOUGHTS ON SWAP????

dream: "ah, swap! she's one of my dearest friends, i truly care for her deeply. out of sheer coincidence it seems, that she, ink, and i were chosen to be the star students of the school, but surprisingly it works out well... swap's truly a delight. she's a great motivator, and she's saved me from a few situations that would've ended up terribly had she not been there, hehe."

nightmare: "sometimes the world hates me. ah- well, what i meant was, the path of fate has me set on a predetermined path of struggle! and yet, when even i, the queen of negativity, could not stop my kin from slipping on a ridiculously placed banana peel and almost breaking her neck, swap was her knight in shining armor and caught her. needless to say, just as fate despises my bloodline, fate also has angels sent down from heaven. i do suppose swap is one of those, bless her soul."

killer: "heh, swap?? that girl's a riot! couple years ago i tried convincing her to show me some of those sick moves she learned at kickboxing, or karate, taekwondo, whatever... she broke my wrist, haha! but then i pulled a knife on her and then we both got in trouble. hah, good times, good times. no, i didn't stab her?! in fact, she's very good friends with mr. mew and the grumpen, thank you very much! a friend of my kitties is a friend of mine!"

dust: "she's nice. her type of energy is something you only see is like... a sugar-rushed ink, and killer normally. but anyways, swap's a good help around the school. she's a bit ridiculous every now and then with all her "the magnificent swap" and how she's a bit of a showoff, but whatever. aren't we all? anyways, at least the scavenger hunts she makes during school dances are fun."

horror: "swap is uh... she's something. gotta admit, she's pretty normal compared to some of the people at this school. but man... enthusiasm, much? eh, whatever. i'm not the type to complain when her burritos are to die for. we're partners in cooking class... let's just say, she carries us hard."

anyways jk cross and epic soon. sooner than you think heheheh

[theonnor]

Yet another thing I did

[quinn-pop]

yet another oc that only exists because i wanted to write something very specific

(middle is a little older, hence her scar healing. i like to think she gets a glass eye at some point)

anyway this is mira! (they/she) since that wip is almost 20k words and counting i won’t give away too much but long story short she’s the result of meta going “one last time, i promise” and adopting yet another kid

also galaxia kinda indirectly picked the name :)

i’ve mentioned before that i headcanon that pretty much all astrals are autistic and this is just kinda an extension of that. whereas meta tends to suppress his emotions and conform to others, mira…doesn’t. she gets uncomfortable and upset and lashes out at people easily, and working through their emotions is no small task.

the main reason i chose to write them that way was for the sake of narrative but i’ve grown attached to it because there’s a lot of ideas there i’d like to explore. stuff about navigating emotions and relationships when existing is so suffocatingly uncomfortable. it’s not something i could center around Kirby himself, but i think it makes sense with a post character development meta knight.

they are very loved (omg oldee cameo???)

kirby was definitely very excited to have younger siblings after being used to being the youngest in the room for so long!! (with the like. one and only exception being gooey.) he’s super affectionate with both of them and wants to have a close relationship one day, but for now mira is pretty unappreciative of that fact lol. they don’t like being pestered for hugs

everyone else is okay tho

(i know that’s hard to read. oops. “obvious bite marks”. siblings being siblings.)

mira also has a very love/hate relationship with the egg kid, being so close in age they kinda Have to get along but in typical sibling nature they also fight a lot. sure it’s probably rough for a while but i think in the end they’d be good buddies. maybe not as close as Kirby and Bandee but still.

anyway i have a lot of thoughts and am very busy but. i’m really enjoying writing about all this lately it’s been fun ^^

[ratatatastic]

do you write fic on ao3?

unfortunately for everyone involved i do!

[arsenicflame]

genuinely, how do you learn to cope with the idea you'll have mental health issues for the rest of your life? how to you learn to find peace with the fact that rock bottom is always going to be just around the corner and theres nothing you can really do to stop it?

[kindred-spirit-93]

story idea im never going to write (horror?)

every safety rule and regulation is written in someones blood.

its set not too far into the future nor too deep in the past, somewhere in the middle, somewhere familiar. the worlds nations have unanimously agreed to centralise global databases and archives & universalise regulations and law criteria to ensure better and more sustainable livlihoods for its citizens after what was recorded as humanities most disasterous decade.

it was to be a fresh start, a new page for the greater good of our kind, they all smiled and agreed. no one can know of the corners that were cut that lead to catastrophes far and wide. opposition was shut down and a false sense of peace befell all. save face. save lives. move on.

--

plenty of career paths could lead you to becoming an employee of the great archives. it has been dubbed as the worlds second library of alexandria, housing the entirety of human knowledge in every field imaginable. it was a grounding and deeply humbling occupation and a very honourable and much sought after position. yet it wasnt a job many could handle.

new intern at the archives, fresh out of university having placed the highest in the admission exam, applies for the hazard control unit of the workplace safety division. story starts off with them being shown around by one of the elder 'safekeepers', a dean if you will, who supervises several departments according to industry & occupation.

*world building and stuff*

over the course of the story said intern files throught what feels like millions of documents and protocols and union meeting minutes and more, all as part of their accreditation & quality assurance job.

the lore isnt too clear but in essence the read every horrific incident in the history of human kind and truly understand the extent of written in blood.

--

ofc our intern here is starting to have mixed feelings about it all. on the one hand they had no idea so much of the work would require handling and closely examining content this graphic, but at the same time they cant shake of the silly baseless feeling that theres something really sinister at play. how can they not when time and time again theyve seen how meagerly companies and governments handled tragedies in the workplace, bending all sorts of rules and finding more loopholes than fitting fineprint on their contracts.

unfortunately these discoveries are the culmination of over two years of grueling hard work, uncovering the darkest most damning secrets of industries new and old. and its high time for a well earned promotion. theres no turning back from here

*several moral dilemmas and identity crises all at once*

--

blah blah maybe a timeskip or something idk its pretty vague lol but the more le intern researches and follows up on leads and looks up restriced files & tracks down survivng families of victims if any, the more they start to find out their hunch was indeed correct...

long story short bc my brain is peacing out already, the "its all written in blood" is more literal than you would think. turns out that many tragedies are secretly staged to maintain the status quo of the higher ups, and in the advent of a law suit that actually works in you favour compensations paid are undisclosed and more often than not return to the offending parties. anyone who disagrees or dares to oppose is wiped off the census (this is where the universal archives really comes into play; sure every nation has its own heavily controlled copy of the world archive, but some things stay in the capital ig)

--

the safekeeper from before is a seasoned assassin essentially, they make sure everyone follows the rules and eliminates anyone who toes out of line (every department/ unit has their head hitman lol). the intern had managed to keep their head down for so long bc they were secretly compiling copies of evidence and was too busy questioning their life choices and ethics theyd stuck around for long enough to get promoted, which gave them access to their inner circles which opened another somehow worse door(s) of hell.

--

tl;dr intern at universal archives starts investigating serial offences across many fields and lines of work and learns the ugly truth about just how dispensible big corporations they think people are.

after the shock wears off and intern gets promoted the more sinister side of things are revealed and it turns out that osha is the source of all evil and wont just wait for accidents to happen; they will actively set them up and write their laws using the blood of the innocent to enforce restrictions and slowly seize control over every industry ever. also thanks to astronomical pr budgets the general public is none the wiser :)

and our not-intern is horrified beyond comprehension with this knowledge and has 3 crises about it at once lol.

story ends with the nice elderly safekeeper smiling at intern and covered in fresh blood :)

the end

--

i feel its important to let yall know i had visions for this while also thinking of a story where the titular character is called jack monterey.

[mossydoodles]

have had a dp wc au rotating in my brain all day I may draw some more stuff for it later, but for now here's the fentons !!

[torchickentacos]

[snekatiemainy]

Randall dragons. Btw

[syn4k]

yeah no i don't have the time to write a fix-it fic for that. Whatever. It's whatever. We all knew that Joel wasn't taking his lore seriously this series. He literally joked about it from the start. It's fine. That was a perfectly satisfying and normal conclusion to him having an ENTIRE ASS CHILD that he cared for and literally knew that the entire fandom would defend with its lives. I am capable of being normal about media, <- in the "anger" stage of the five stages of grief

[trevisos]

i knew no less than 6 transmascs named garrett in 2014…. i wonder where they are today….

[waywardsalt]

bellum probably wouldnt know how to kiss

[a-ikuoliver]

i always get butterflies when my partner says we're defacto <3

[mechanicalbowtye]

read the scratch upd8. little too close to home