#whatevenisthis?

[badpanduhmemes]

[papichulomacy]

Pairing : jaemin x reader (mafia au)

Summary: whereas jaemin is tasked to kidnap the rival gang leader's daughter but ends up abducting the wrong girl

Warnings: mention of violence, blood, make out sesh? That's all I guess.

Preview:

"Wait so i'm supposed to abduct this girl from a club?" Questioned jaemin as taeyong nodded "shes not just some girl, and I want you to keep that in mind. She's the heir to the black rose and therefore very treasured by the boss so make sure it goes swiftly or you'll be dead meat at their hands".

And thats how

jaemin found himself sitting at the bar of one of Seoul's most exclusive clubs keeping an eye out for" the girl" he was supposed to abduct.

"How will I even know what she looks like? You didn't even give me a picture" he had grumbled which caused taeyong to rub his forehead already being done with the younger.

"Intel says she's going to be standing out due to her beauty and the dress she'll be wearing".

And soon enough the girl walked in wearing a red bodycon dress which caused jaemin's lips to curve up "voila" he whispered sipping his martini soon the girl was dancing with her friends swaying to the music and jaemin found himself being captivated by the sheer sexuality she was giving off.

[sobashahzadi]

That time the Haitani brothers got catfished (fic)

(kindly requested by @kokonoiscoconut, also there’s some bonus drawings at the end) Come my dear children and whores, and let me tell you the story of the time that the Haitani brothers got catfished. This is completely canon as I’ve been informed by Wakui himself.

Ran picks at his professionally prepared pasta carbonara with his gold plated fork and sighs, he looks up to see Rindou doing the exact same thing. “Stop playing with your food Rin” Rindou simply grumbles and stops. “So, are you going to the festival later tonight?” Rindou asks feebly. “Of course not” of course Ran is. 

He was asked out by one of his tinder matches that he’d been interested in for quite some time, he can’t put his finger on it but something about her just feels special. However he’s been anxious all day, not about his date though, Ran has had many in his time and knows for a fact that this date will go swimmingly (haha foreshadowing) just like the rest. What he was actually worried about was something he liked to call a pet peeve of his, his younger brother Ran to see him whilst on a date.

 Little did he know, Rin despised the exact same thing and was planning on going himself with a date. Similar to Ran, he’d felt an odd connection to his date for a while. Rin felt a bit more assured now that his older brother had confirmed he wasn’t planning on attending. 

Later that evening, Ran is in his room (which is the probably the size of my house) fixing himself up for his date, he tries to carefully braid his hair only to fail because mf is too pampered to do sh*t so he calls on a maid to fix the rat tail he just produced. 

Meanwhile with Rin, he’s already ready to go and is carefully sliding up his window preparing to sneak out. He has a squad of maids to help him  escape scotch free and without his brother noticing (btw, basically their whole personal workforce know about them both going but think it’s hilarious so they don’t tell them).

Rin arrives at the festival just moments before Ran and walks to a food venue. He orders some takoyaki whilst tapping away at his phone trying to get in contact with his date, they hadn’t decided on any specific place to meet as it was so last minute that she’d asked him out. 

Ran is already on his way to the spot where his date and him had planned to meet, at the outskirts of the festival. Ran finds himself a bench and plops down to ask his date where she is. He stands up at the familiar scent of expensive perfume.

Rin yawns as he walks and almost drops his half-eaten takoyaki when he bumps into a figure. 

Ran and Rin stare at each other in absolute shock. 

“What are you doing here Rin?”

“I thought you weren’t going?”

“Anwser my question first”

“Fine,” mutters Rin “I’m here to meet my date, what about you?”

Ran sighs “Same here, but she won’t respon-“ Ran freezes and points forward, indicating for Rin to look the same way. 

The brothers are both left flabbergasted.

In front of the Haitani brothers lies a fish. (this would be perfect out of context) (also the fish is Irish)

It flops up and down on the pavement, “Oh feck I didn’t know you lads were related, HA look at yer eijet lookin’ faces yer scarlet. Now ain’t this the craic? Well enough banter, I was planning on robbin’ yous, you good for nothin’ rich folk. Don’t you ever care for the fish that may be sufferin’, we have poverty too ya melters. Now that I’ve catfished yous, you’ll feel inclined to hand over your money due to the unbelievable embarrassment yer feelin’.” The fish says as it flops up and down in joy. 

“But how? you’ve got no hands” Rin yawns as he speaks.

That was a completely valid point, fish unfortunately do not have hands and they also can’t fucking talk. 

Later that night the Haitani brothers have grilled fish for dinner.

-extra-

“So, is feeling attracted to fish an official sexuality?” asks Rin.

“No”

“But what if it’s a mermaid”

“They don’t exist”

“Ok but what if it has a pus-“

“No, dear brother”

-extra extra-

-Rin now spends most of his days at their family’s extraordinarily large artificial pond behind their mansion staring at fish. 

This fic was inspired by a post made by @tokyo-daaaamn-ji-gang, which was further expanded by others, it was super fun to write though I’m definitely not a writer.

[aseprites]

late who you knew ponysonas could get so political

[oldfatwarlock]

I don’t know. I drew a dwarf and gave him a goofy hat and a leather jacket? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #dwarves #dungeonsanddragons #whatevenisthis #fantasyart #pencildrawings https://www.instagram.com/p/CpbYm0Epkwd/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[wwhatevenisthis]

# # TRIGGER WARNING, PET DEATH

-

TLDR: My house rabbit Sam passed away today (7th Dec 2023). I am utterly heartbroken, and on top of it all I still have to pay for his £1500 vet bills and his cremation.

I have an important announcement to make. My 9 year old house rabbit, Sam, crossed the rainbow bridge today. He passed away at home, comfortably in his blankets.

I went to feed him his food and medication at 12pm today, and I noticed he was breathing fast. I tried to give him some of his syringe food and water, but it was running out of his mouth. I stopped giving it him and noticed he was trying to breathe through his mouth and he was struggling. I was home alone, but I rang the vets anyway even though I knew I had no lift to get there. They said that I could send them a video of what his breathing was like to see if I needed to bring him in. I sent them some videos, and then held him close and gave him many cuddles and kisses, holding him close and telling him how much of a good boy he was. An hour passed, and I couldn't stand waiting any longer. I rang the vets back and said I wanted to bring him in, and I would ring my mum so I could take him in as soon as possible. I placed him back in his pen, gave him some head pats, and he started trying to move his head and his front end to get comfy. I left the room at 1:48pm to get all my things ready for the vets. I came back at 1:52pm, and Sam had passed away, wrapped in his blankets, in his comfy pen. He had waited for me to leave the room before he crossed the rainbow bridge. I tried to see if I could save him; I even tried bunny CPR on him. But he was gone. I held him close and cried, telling him how brave he was and how much I loved him.

Almost everyone in our family said goodbye. My mum came home shortly after with the dog, and she and I cried together. My brother told Sam to go play with Monty (my previous house rabbit who passed in October 2022) over the rainbow bridge. We even let Elsa (my other house rabbit and Sam's companion) see Sam one last time; she sniffed him and nudged him, but then started to freak out and got really stressed, so we had to put her back in her own pen. (She is doing better now, but I think she knows what has happened and is just as upset).

We eventually took Sam to the vets around 3pm, so we could get them to cremate him. All the vets there were really kind and sympathetic, and chalked it up to that the little guy just couldn't keep fighting any longer, even though he had been so strong before. They all told me how much of a good job I did trying to help Sam, with me getting up every 2 hours for the last 2 and a half weeks to feed him and make sure he was okay. They gave me some of his fur, let me give him some final head scritches and kisses, and I said one last goodbye to my little trooper.

My heart is in pieces tonight. He brought so much joy into mine and my family's life, and everyone who had met him utterly adored him. I adopted him in January 2023, and even though I knew him for just under a year, he has helped me stay positive and given me so much happiness and many fond memories. He has left pawprints on my heart, and I will never forget him. I am currently with Elsa, giving her all my love as I know she will need it after losing her best friend.

I am still having to pay for Sam's £1500 vet bills even after his passing as well as his cremation, and I have very little savings left.

I have been selling my things on E🅱️ay here

https://www.ebay.co.uk/usr/whatevenisthis

to help cover the cost, and I have set up a G0FundMe here

https://gofund.me/f3133dda

for people who would like to donate to help me out. Any and all help would be vastly appreciated, no matter how small. If you don't want to use the G0FundMe link, please I am also taking donations through PaypaI here

https://www.paypal.me/SBettney

Thank you all, and please give your pets some cuddles tonight, for me and for Sam. 🐇💜

[whipsers-destiel-in-enochian]

Destiel Edit

[observeowl]

Nobody N.R

Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Summary: R abusive family background haunts her at night and Natasha comes to calm her down.

You had a very bad childhood and abusive parents. They were more physical with you in your younger days and it slowly transcends into verbal. You couldn’t get away because they would always cuff your legs to a pole while you endure their beatings. They were clever enough to only beat where you could cover. And mind you, they were rich, you had no idea why they would turn to you when they already have everything. You tried to confide in someone but they didn’t believe you, so eventually, you stopped trying. 

The team thought Natasha was cold enough but when you came in, you were even more stoic than Natasha when she first joined. You didn’t give a reaction when the team was making a joke. Only talking when needed to. 

You moved into the tower because you once helped Tony win a legal case. You know, him and his many lawsuits. You know the Avengers but you hardly talked to them, only the passing hi and bye. Most of the time was spent in one of the empty office rooms because you needed a lot of space for your papers. 

You had moved into the tower because your house lease was up and you had nowhere else to stay. Your parents are alive but you would never go to them, not after what they have done to you. They, however, are always asking for your help after getting into dirty business. You would help them, but not before charging a premium for your work.

Natasha has a little crush on you. When she has to leave for work, she always makes sure to take the long way to pass by your office to see you working. As the time you spend with the team is rare, any team activity with you in, she would definitely go. She would go as far as to ask you personally if you were attending. You enjoyed her presence so you almost always say yes. 

One day, after a movie night that you attended, you went back to your room to sleep. But not without a nightmare. With everything your parents have done to you, they still had high expectations. Coming from a rich family, everyone expects their child to succeed and climb the social ladder. You can’t escape the cuff even when you’re studying. You tried to break out of the cuff but it only made your ankle bled. 

Fire was your friend and your foe. Your parent’s house caught on fire and the structures were falling everywhere. It managed to snap the pole you were tied to, allowing you to move, but still with the cuff on your legs. You’re free to move so now what? Fire and smoke were everywhere, burning your lungs as you tried to breathe. You covered your nose and mouth and tried to find an escape route but a beam fell on your back. You screamed as you pushed yourself up. Time was running out. Your parents weren't going to put windows in your room so the only way out is through the door. You slammed your body against the door, hoping there isn’t anything behind it. The door burst open, sending a heat wave towards you. It was a maze trying to navigate your way out as shelves fell on the ground. 

Nat next door could hear your scream. Your nightmare was regular but it was never this bad, she could even hear you thrashing in bed. Nat opened the door and your bed was in a mess, your cover and pillows on the floor and you were kneeling in bed. Nat came close to you with her hands in front of her but you slapped it away.

“I just want to help.” You continued to look at Nat with your blood shot eyes, panting heavily as you tried to hold yourself up. Nat touched your forehead and you stopped shaking. Nat’s hand slowly made it’s way down to your chin. Nat’s face slowly inched forward and wrapped her lips in yours. “I want to help you because I love you.” 

“You- you love me?” 

“I love you. That’s why I always asked if you were attending team activities. I always take the long route down just to see you in your office. I never attend those events without you.” 

“But- but I am a child that nobody wants. Nobody cares. All they want is- is I don’t even know… they just don’t want me. I am nothing.” You ran your hands through your hair and knees tucked close to you. Nat wrapped her arms around you and pulled you closer.

“I want you. I’m going to protect you. You’re not going to get hurt again.” Nat assured you as she rubbed her hand along your arms. You shook your head. “Let’s go back to sleep okay?” You allowed yourself to collapse onto Nat’s body as you tried to sleep. Nat was still rubbing small circles on your arms until your breathing evens out. 

The next morning you woke up in the same position and Natasha was already awake. “Good morning love.” You humed. “Are you feeling better?” You humed again. “Let’s shower and go down okay?” You nodded your head and followed Nat in. Nat grabbed a change of clothes for you and changed into yours as well. “Want to head down now?” She grabbed your hand.

“I love you too.” You said out of nowhere.

“You love me or you love the ground.” She teased you for looking at the ground.

“You. I love you.” You faced her this time. She smiled and continued dragging you to the living room. Everyone was looking at the both of you as you walked in.

“What’s wrong guys?” 

“We didn’t know cold and cold could get together. But I wonder if they make hot together?” Tony remarked.

“I went to find you Nat, but you were not in your room. FRIDAY told me where you were.” Wanda continued.

“You guys better not do anything funny. She’s mine now.” Nat raised the hand that both of you had intertwined. Your face was nearly the same colour as Nat’s hair. No one cared so much about you before. She gave you a kiss on the cheek before pulling you to the kitchen.

[lovablepiece-of-toast]

Hypnosis mic characters as things me and my friends have said

(I've recently gotten into hypmic with some friends and these are quotes we have collected on our server out of context)

(Thanks to my friend who put this into a visual format)

[sasukes-simp]

naruto: yo, can i have a sip of your water

sasuke: it’s not water

naruto: vodka! i like your style-

sasuke: it’s vinegar

naruto: wha-?

sasuke: it’s vinegar, you pussy

[kweenofthenerds]

Peter: *stubs his toe*

Peter: I can't wait to die.

Tony: you good kid?

Peter: I'm fine. Why do you ask?

[geniusofdeduction-blog]

" Oi! Ain't a horny bugger. "

    Give the git positivity and this is the shit I get back…

               “ I would beg to differ… I’ve seen things, Eggsy..                           There is plenty of evidence to suggest otherwise.. ”

[bipolarrsunshine]

Mood : Elio in the credit scene of “Call Me By Your Name”

[t-buns]

The dramatic love story of Rin and Len Kagamine (made my two complete randos in drawpile) Plus bonus Triple Baka (more like, Triple Threat)

[williambenas]

That moment when the toothpaste is spicier than your life.

[uchiharunos]

I once drew a thirsty Sasuke, when he FINALLY got to drink

A pretty thought sketch URGH but anyways