#what's the difference between romantic and platonic attraction? are they not the same just different levels of intensity???

[runwiththerain]

people are using queer platonic attraction as a replacement for the term alterous attraction, which is then turning queer platonic attraction into one single type of attraction instead of the many types of attraction that it can actually encompass (the same applies with qprs)

example: two people experience queer platonic attraction that is in between romantic and platonic and then get into an qpr. they then will say this is the only way queer platonic attraction can be experienced. which in turn isolates and removes people who experience different forms of queer platonic attraction. this is a common occurrence.

instead they could use the term alterous attraction and keep queer platonic as an umbrella term instead of turning it into a singular experience, which can be defined better with another term, that being alterous attraction.

to be clear, alterous attraction is a form of queer platonic attraction, it's just not the only way queer platonic attraction can manifest which people continue to insinuate

summary: people are misconstruing the term queer platonic attraction to mean alterous attraction when queer platonic attraction and qprs can be experience in an extensive variety of ways

this post is to raise awareness for the term alterous attraction and to clarify what a qpr/queer platonic attraction actually encompasses

more people need to be aware of the term alterous attraction (a desire for a close emotional connection with someone, but it's not completely romantic or platonic) and use it instead of calling everything a qpr. because by calling everything a qpr you are turning that term into a label instead of what it actually is - an umbrella term for many non conventional types of relationships.

[sainteclectic]

Actually hell yeah put those freaks in an insanely codependent qpr. I 100% understand this and actually I think all weird codependent freaks are simply meant to be qpps. The religious worship themes with wholesoul are a bonus

put those beasts in a loosely defined but insanely codependent qpr!! they are incapable of being normal about each other in a way that romance just cannot properly describe. they probably wouldn't define it as a qpr themselves, but they are "together" in the same way the strings of a tapestry are together. completely intertwined, unable to separate without unraveling the whole thing.

[mosspapi]

What the fuck even is attraction it's all such bullshit actually. Like bro I can barely tell the difference between happy and sad on a good day, how the FUCK do you expect me to tell the difference between "I like this person as a friend," "I like this person romantically," "I like this person sexually," "I like this person aesthetically," etc.??? I literally don't even know what half of those feel like and at this point I'm convinced they're all made up and everyone is just pretending to feel them. Is romantic attraction just friendship but more? Is it different?? How do you know? I personally think it's all bullshit and should be abolished.

[seasonal-brotp-prompts]

A friend of mine asked me once how I could tell the difference between experiencing romantic and platonic attraction. I'd like to restate my thoughts here, since I think they could be useful for some people!

First of all, Intensity =/= Romance. Platonic feelings can be just as strong as romantic ones, although the amatonormativity we live in pretends otherwise. Because of that, I used to often wonder if my squishes are actually crushes. Nowadays, I just go through a series of questions and feel much more at peace afterwards!

"Do I have a crush on this person?"

Ask yourself:

Do I want to kiss them?

On the mouth? With tongue?

Do I want them to kiss me?

Do I want to go on dates with them?

Alone? Would I like it more or less in a group setting with other friends?

Do I like the idea of being seen as a "pair?"

Do I want to live with them?

Forever?

Do I want to marry them?

What does an ideal wedding look like, in my head?

Do I like the idea of them confessing to me?

If I have any interest in children, am I interested in raising children alongside them?

Do I want to exchange gifts with them annually on dates like Valentine's and/or an anniversary?

Do I (in general) enjoy traditional romantic gifts like flowers or jewelry?

Would I enjoy receiving those gifts from the person in question?

If they told me they just got a new partner, would I feel negatively about that?

Do I feel that same negativity when other people I'd never be interested in romantically (family members, etc.) announce they have new partners? Or is it just the person in question?

If sex is a romantic thing for me, do I want to have sex with them?

Answering "yes" to a single one of these questions doesn't mean I have a crush. But answering "yes" to many of them would indicate romantic feelings.

For me, this is a relief, because when I apply these questions to my friends and squishes, I typically react with disgust and RESOUNDING "no"s. Kissing, dating, annual gift obligations, marriage, and co-parenting all squick me out and make me recoil.

A lot of aros (especially baby or questioning ones) might also answer "yes" to a hypothetical they haven't experienced themselves, but then change their answer to "no" later. I know I used to think being confessed to would be flattering (even by someone I didn't reciprocate), but now that it's happened to me a few times, I know how awkward and awful it is. Same with kissing; I thought I'd like it because everyone in media likes it, but actually trying it (with girls and boys) has firmly cemented me in the reality that I just hate mouth kissing.

But, I still thought it might be useful for some aros who struggle with their identity due to all the arophobia and amatonormativity trying to make them question their feelings!

(It might also be helpful for someone trying to figure out if they're gay/bi and have a crush on someone, idk)

[bellsmess]

Whenever someone calls Charles Rowland straight, an angel dies.

What straight guy tells his best friend who just confessed to him that there's no one else – no one – he would go to Hell for. And that they have forever to figure out what that means. You don’t get his repressed bisexuality like I do!

Even modern bisexuals (I may or may not be speaking from personal experience) are oblivious to the fact they're bi because heteronormative roles are so engraved in our minds. When you're attracted to other genders, it's easy to miss a same-sex crush, only then to realise that oh, it wasn’t just admiration, it was attraction.

Charles, having grown up at the height of the AIDS crisis, with an abusive and probably homophobic father, killed by racist bullies? That would make anyone repress any gay feelings. Especially if you experience crushes on people with a different sex to you.

Charles sees Crystal and takes his chance. He's enamoured with this smart, strong-willed, pretty girl who can see him not only in a physical sense, but pays attention to him. He longs to be loved. Then he says the infamous "That sounds alot like you, doesn't it? Maybe that's why I like her so much" line. What an icon. And he compares himself and his best friend to the greatest love story of all time, Orpheus and Euridyce's.

When Edwin confesses to him, he doesn't rule out the possibility of returning these feelings. He knows they're already devoted to each other. They've already had 30 years of companionship and solving cases together.

"As long as I have my best mate and a case to solve, I'm good."

Being with Edwin is simple. They solve cases, help others, run away from Death. It's a simple existance. Charles gave up eternity to be with Edwin, because he was kind to him when he was dying. Charles finds him fun, wants to protect him, knows that Edwin is a kind and good person. One that Charles wants to be.

"Bad guys don't worry about being bad guys. And you, Charles Rowland, are the best person I know."

Crystal's role is very important in changing the dynamic between Edwin and Charles. Not only because Charles falls for her, but because she opens them up. She digs out their repressed feelings and trauma. Charles finally deals with his dad's abuse, his happy-go-lucky mask falls. She points it out to Edwin. Charles kept it up so well because Edwin didn't press it, but Crystal does. And Charles finally lets himself process what happened to him, and how that affects his relationships.

Charles never saw genuine love between his parents, and that affects how he views relationships. It impacts how he forms them, too. But he's a loverboy, he longs to be loved, he falls easily. Why wouldn’t he fall for someone who stuck to his side for 30 years?

Crystal and Monty's roles mirror each other – they help the boys figure out their feelings and desires. Crystal makes Edwin jealous that there's someone else Charles cares about in the same sense he cares for Edwin. The Cat King helps Edwin discover desire, Monty – genuine love. As Charles' and Crystal's relationship kickstarts (albeit ends as quickly) and Monty persues Edwin, he discovers the depth of his feelings.

"These complicated feelings that you have? They're for Charles."

I would love to see their wants explored more in the future season(s, hopefully multiple). Charles giving into desire with Desire of the Endless' guidance? Yes please.

I simply cannot believe that anyone would doubt Painland/Payneland endgame. They're everything to each other. They're a constant presence, reassurance, and love. Platonic, romantic, it doesn't matter. Their bond is so deep and genuine that immortal beings see it and leave them be, in the afterlife they chose for each other. Their love is so deep it transcends planes: from mortal plane to Hell, it leads Charles to Edwin. Charles is not Orpheus, when he turns around to hear Edwin out on the staircase from Hell, he manages to get him out. And they have literally forever for each other.

[loveless-arobee]

My main gripe with the posts that are like "love is love includes platonic/familial/queerplatonic/etc. love" is ofc that they still fully ignore and exclude loveless people.

But what is also quite noticeable is that they also never mention sexual love. Because, it seems, in one stance about love (beside the "everybody loves"), a lot of aspecs still agree with society: that sexual love either just straight-up doesn’t exist, or that it’s inherently bad and abusive (that loving someone sexually without romance is abuse, "only using them for sex" etc.)

And on the other hand you also have aspecs acting like, on a societal level, sexual love is seen as equal to romantic love (with phrasing such as "love that isn’t romantic or sexual is devalued by society"), as if romanceless sexual love isn’t seen as basically the worst thing ever.

While I don’t experience love per se, the only type of love I can relate to even remotely is specifically sexual love. I care a lot for people I’m sexually attracted to, and sex is very important to me overall. And let me tell you, me expressing interest in a purely sexual relationship, no matter if I’d label my feelings as love or anything similar, are not ever treated any better than friendships or platonic relationships are.

I’m demonised to hell and back from queer people and non-queer allies and queerphobes all the same for my feelings and opinions on sex. Sex is seen as something that should only happen in very specific situations, and only then is it "good"; any other type of sex is "bad"; it’s just the definition that varies slightly between those groups—and I fit none of their definitions for "good" sex. No one sees sexual love without romance as a positive thing, least of all something equal to romance. (And especially not sexual intimacy and closeness without love and romance (or friendship, in slightly more progressive views, but that’s rare tbh))

Its just very noticeable that the majority of queer people, and between those especially aspecs because they do talk about non-romantic love the most, still don’t see sexual love as something that could just exist. It’s very noticeable when there’s hundreds of posts broadening the definition of love to include literally everything but specifically sexual love. Endless lists about what love is in non-romantic ways, and it’s glaringly obvious that people just do not believe anyone could care for someone they "just" want to fuck, "just" have a sexual relationship with, without wanting to be labelled as friends or anything similar even when they do things other see as friendship because they cannot grasp that people can care for their sexual partners even without having feelings for them that aren’t sexual.

Just still seems very sex-negative to limit sex to be something that either happens between people in a different kind of relationship (usually romantic, but again, some do agree you can have sex with friends, too), or something emotionless between strangers who then never interact with each other again (which is also most of the time treated as a bad thing which should stop).

Point is: Maybe question why you exclude sexual love specifically from your post about non-romantic love. (And at the same time, also stop acting like every person must experience some type of love)

[theyluvlyss]

𝐈 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐈 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭, 𝐛𝐮𝐭...

...you'll be able to find each ghost boy (under their respective section, ofc lol) in the master list all with the same title :). I decided to just do them all one at a time to keep from having you wait any longer/forcing myself to pump them all out in one go/one long ass post lmao.

plus, to hopefully make it easier, I'll just tag you each time as the requester so you know, if that's okay lol♡.

𝐄𝐚𝐬𝐲 𝐎𝐧 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐄𝐲𝐞𝐬

《 ♡ 》 headcannons

───────── 《 .°•♡•°. 》 ──────────

𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩�� :

while it's always fun to imagine (haha, get it💀) what it'd be like for him to be your best friend or your boyfriend, there's times when you yearn for that tension. that something in between that's more than a platonic relationship, but just short of being a lover. and I'm here to revive that feeling of what it'd be like for robin arellano to have a crush on you...

𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 :

fem!reader x robin arellano - she/her/hers pronouns!

𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐦𝐞 :

70s-80s - the grabber doesn't exist

𝐓𝐖/𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 :

cursing - robin lowkey being a menace💀 - him also liking you tho - mentions of fighting/violence - manhandling,,, kind of?? (idk I personally wouldn't call it that, but- 😭✋🏽) - me focusing a little too much on the jealousy stuff lol whoops🧍🏽‍♀️...

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ...𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

───────── 《 .°•♡•°. 》 ──────────

I feel like he doesn't really "crush" on ppl. He finds people attractive and that's about as far as that's gonna go lmfao. If anything, he finds it fun to recognize/point out the difference between when people are conventionally/deemed by society's standards "attractive" vs when HE actually finds somebody to be a good looker to HIM (he wanna be different so bad🙄✋🏽).

But like I said, him finding someone hot doesn't really go anywhere. He doesn't do/say anything about, nor go out of his way to force things, especially when there's no prior connection/feelings there.

On that note, I feel like for him to have a crush on you (reader), two things would need to be an order; You'd have to attract him one way or another. Like, there's gotta be something about you that makes him have that, "Oh, she's fine as hell, I gotta talk to her." mindset towards you, even if he'd have yet to act on it. And, there's gotta be, like I said, a prior connection.

Or, you could get lucky, and a very specific set of circumstances could spark something up between y'all. He's not opposed to a meet-cute😻.

If y'all were already friends/close, he'd deny👏🏽deny👏🏽deny👏🏽 having feelings for so long. Not towards you, but towards himself. He would deadass be lying to himself about liking you romantically, even a little a bit, but unfortunately, it'd be one of those things that sneaks up on him one day and then just all comes crashing down into one existential crisis.

But even after accepting them, he'd STILL not bother to do anything about it - not bc he doesn't think he has a chance (well, maybe a little bit, but see if he'd tell anyone that), but also bc he doesn't want to ruin the friendship between y'all.

He'd hate to lose you just because he woke up "...on some bullshit, bro, I can't believe I like her..." one day, so he's more than likely to keep quiet about it.

Although, he can say that's what he's doing all he wants, his actions kind of prove otherwise; he might accidentally drop a subtle hint or two, and the stuff that he normally does that held the air of friendship and loyalty suddenly becomes a bit more,,, ✨️🧡💫💋, ykwim?

If he's walking with you, maybe crossing the street or something, he could care less about how far you are behind him if it meant getting to the nearest idk Burger King or whatever faster💀✋🏽. Or at school - sure, he might be on the look out for you if he's bored, or should he hear anyone tarnishing your name without you there to defend yourself on your own, shoot them a dirty look. And even just hanging out at the drive-in; it's viewed as more of a casual hangout than anything.

But let a crush develop some,,, let him become a little infatuated with you... Now, all of the sudden, crossing the street is a whole ordeal; checking for cars is routine now, and whether you like it or not, he's got a hand wrapped around your wrist and is tugging you along gently with an alertness that both amused and perplexed you. And at school, he's now taking any free time he may have to actually go looking for you instead of your paths crossing due to natural coincidence, just to act as though he had no time at all to waste with you, and would pester you at your locker whenever he did spot you.

And, as much as he hated the way his hands would clam up and how his heart would beat out of his chest and how he practically had to force himself not to look for your reaction to every single scene of the movie he picked, he was insistent on having a specific schedule for going out to the movies now. And no, he'd never, ever let you pay, even when you really should've and definitely could've.

But...

Say if he hadn't known you beforehand tho, and y'all met through some sort of meet-cute or whatever,,, him starting to like you would be a little easier of a process for him.

Something he wouldn't be so against because there's "nothing" to ruin or fuck up besides his chances with you, so now he can pretty much just focus on not screwing that up.

He's way quicker to drop hints (not saying he's any smoother with it, but that's not gonna stop him from doing it lmfao cuz who finna check him😗😹).

It's things like really obvious (almost bad) flirting, and teasing that isn't in the same way as he might do with his regular friends. If anything, he might use it as an excuse to always be touching you in some way - OMG TELL ME HE WOULDN'T BE A CHRONIC "You got something on your shirt..." JUST TO FLICK YOUR FACE TYPE OF PERSON LMFAO!!

You'd hate it and look at him like, "😐" and he'd just get a kick out of it, looking at you and laughing every single time like he's comedy fckn central💀.

Or if he's telling you a story - probably about the last time he beat someone up - he's using you as "the other guy", gently tapping you with ghost punches and moving you about by the shoulders when need be lmao. And even just in general, when he's not storytelling,,, give him ONE good reason to try and be physical, and he'll take it and SPRINT.

And if you notice that fact (there's no way you possibly couldn't), all he'll do is smirk at you and go, "It's fine, you like it😌."

Bro just slaps on an obnoxious and obscene amount of confidence and calls it a day, basically. Fake it 'til you make it type of thing, and it most definitely works (you wouldn't be reading this if it didn't🤭🤷🏽‍♀️). But of course, let it be known he'd never do anything to make you uncomfortable. I just imagine he's rather cocky in his abilities to woo someone if he really, really wanted it, and well... it's you, so...

He really, really wants you LMFAO😭. Anyways, back on track...

I feel like he's definitely the jealous type, but he won't do anything about it/won't get outta pocket unless your well-being is at stake. Like, if you were clearly uncomfy in a situation, or you specifically came to him on some, "This guy's bothering me..." type shit, oh, it's 0-100 rq. He's absolutely beating the shit out of that person (more so than when he's just in a regular fight).

Because of that, he'll definitely be scary dog privilege, like, I'm sorry, but,,, I feel like he's the type to - once he decides he's gunning for you - that's it. Not in a possessive way, just in the sense that he's totally made up his mind and, as much as he likes to maybe slap on a chill and nonchalant-type persona, he actually cares very deeply about things and people that have an affect on him.

He's also a go-getter, so with all of that in mind, it makes sense that even if you didn't reciprocate his feelings, he'd STILL make it known that he don't play about you lmfao. But even so, jealousy is also one of those things he just deny-deny-denies, will totally brush it off if you bring it up, even if you tease him for it.

But, he is a dork at the end of the day lmao tease him long enough and he'll eventually fold and just be like, "Nah it's just cuz I treasure you and I like you, like... would you rather I didn't care or just ignored it whenever a guy looked at you crazy? Exactly, hush, you love me😌✨️🧡." Once again, it's that seemingly blind confidence that definitely has you shaking your head a lot with a giggles escaping you, but YOU ALSO DON'T SAY NO/TELL HIM OTHERWSIE, SOOO😆🤭...!!

Honestly, with Robin being jealous, I feel like it's one of those things you dk/even realize he's feeling until it's "too late" - he's stalking towards someone you've complained about making you uncomfortable or he's already done what he needs to do, he's coming back to you, and after a short conversation with you pressing him about why and whatnot, it just hits you, and you're like, "Oh...Oh my god, you're jealous🤭..." and he's all "nO😡....."

"You lyin'?😆"

"...yeah😔..."

Although, jealously for you surprisingly isn't often. Like sure, girls dk how to back off, but not only are you both pretty secure, but he's also very reassuring. Both in speaking directly to you, telling you he doesn't really have eyes for them, AND towards the other people. He breaks hearts left and right, and it's highkey not even on purpose...

Bro just doesn't know how to let folks down easy - so much so that sometimes even YOU feel bad😭. Sometimes...

"You didn't have to say it to her like that...!"

"Wha-? But it's true! Should I have lied? Like..."

"No, but I'm just-! ... You need to learn to be more sensitive about these things😭..."

"Fym, I'm the most sensitive guy I know😙."

"...The kid whose nose you broke a month ago would say otherwise, but okay🙃."

But otherwise, if and when you're not scolding him, he finds your envy to be very endearing and validating. It lets him know that you are actually thinking about him in the romantic sense like he is you, and he just likes seeing you get all worked up lmfao. Something about your brows being furrowed and the heated look in your eyes reminds him of, well, himself! And he takes a little bit of pride in that, if he's being honest with himself, especially if it's a rare occurrence.

If you're normally this little sweetheart, and you're not exactly on the violent and/or temperamental side, in those moments where you might snap a little bit, he's DEFINITELY paying the most attnetion and he's DEFINITELY standing there like, 'Omgomgthat'shot-...' 💀😭.

If anything, I feel like these strong emotions from either one of you two could for sure be the gateway into him finding out/realizing you like him back...

Like, you'd definitely slip up one time, say something you weren't supposed to, or he'd reassure you way too much and let something slip, SOMETHING LIKE THAT, and either way, he finds out and he's like "Ohp🫢...AAAAH😃🫵🏽⁉️....YOU LIKE MEEEEE I KNEWWW ITTT🤪😘🫵🏽!!!"

He'd probably be too busy celebrating the fact he "...always knew and I'm always right about these things, blahblahblah..." while you stand there like, "🙄😒..." to remember there's actually supposed to be something following up after a whole ass love confession💀.

But, because you do, in fact, love him, I'm sure you'd be the one to fill in that gap, and short after, a very chaotic yet loving/meaningful relationship would ensue.

THAT BOY LOVESSS YOU, OKAAAY💋🧡✨️‼️‼️‼️

𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐢𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐥...

...as I was writing this one (well, adding onto what had already been written), the app glitched, and the whole thing deleted itself...

shit pmo so bad, I just didn't touch it again for like a whole month😭✋🏽. it's also part of the reason why it's shorter than I actually intended, so I apologize, but I hope all enjoy it regardless🙏🏽♡.

next up is vance, tho !!

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ...𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ...𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭

𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 :

@in3rci4

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 :

1,830 words

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐬 :

none :(

[teaboot]

Hi

I have a question for u

It is maybe a very cliché question but I am sincerely looking for the answer because it feels like most other people know it and just I don’t understand

So here we go: what differentiates love from friendship?

I can recognize friendship. All explanations given to me what others told me makes the distinction to loving someone (romantically?) didn’t make sense to me mostly because it always included some people that fall into the definition of friends

So yeah.. I’m having difficulty with relationships (apparently)

Thank u for ur thought! Ur blog always brings me happiness!

I hope u have a wonderful day with some quiet time to watch the fluffy creature

-🥬

Personal opinion?

Friendship is love. Love is friendship. Kissing is friendship and holding hands is love. Sex is friendship and washing laundry is love.

I've had crushes on people I'd never want to date. I have friends I'd be comfortable kissing. I don't think I've ever been attracted to sexually, but there are people I think are beautiful who make my heart race. I don't know if I've ever felt romantic attraction, but there are people I want to spend my life with, and others I'd rather admire from a distance, and others I want nothing to do with.

I think that honestly, really, words like "Husband", "Wife", "Partner", "Friend", "Queerplatonic", "Soulmates", "Life Partner"... I think they're useful tools to describe specific experiences, more than they are rigid boxes to sort and divide our experiences into.

I'm not sure if I understand tge difference between platonic affection, aesthetic attraction, romance, and friendship, but I find my best relationships so far have been, "We like being around each other, and we work together to find what kind of intimacy we want from each other".

Sometimes that intimacy is physical, like kissing or sparring. Sometimes it's emotional, like sharing feelings. Sometimes it's just good, quiet company, or doing things together.

I can't speak for your own experiences, but in mine, idk. Just kinda letting things happen.

(It is hard when you feel lonely, though, and don't know how to describe to most of the world what it is you want.)

Long post, but uh. Same boat, I suppose?

afraid I don't have a better answer right now, but if anyone else figures it out, I'd love to know.

Thanks for the ask, and I hope you're having a great day too!! ♡

[lafortezaboy]

dating sophia laforteza / 7th member edition

triggers: nsfw content under the cut

getting together

it was clear from the start that there was something between the two of you. it wasn't uncommon for megan to elbow you at practice because she caught you staring at sophia again, or for marquise to do the same to sophia for catching her staring at you

the two of you had very different personalities though, so you didn't click right away. she was more serious, a little strict, while you hit it off with megan instantly with how the two of you liked to joke around and have fun

it took a while for you two to really talk instead of just staring at each other during practice. but once the two of you did, she saw that you weren't just the goofball you seemed to be, and you truly did love what you were doing

the first time she really saw the person you were was when one of the girls fell during practice, and you were the first to her, checking on her and making sure she was okay, reassuring her that mistakes happen when she got embarrassed. after that, sophia made it a point to interact with you more

you two getting close surprised a lot of the other girls, but those closest to you two saw it coming from a mile away. you were just too attracted to each other to not get close eventually

as you got closer, you two became each other's rocks. you were the one she could go to when she just needed to vent, to scream, to get everything off her chest. she was the one you could go to when you felt like you weren't good enough to be in the competition, when you needed reassurance that you deserved to be there

it became a common sight for you two to be with each other. you practiced together, ate together, spent more time with each other than anyone else. at one point megan even joked you were replacing her

there were nights the two of you ended up in each other's beds, just laying together and talking about the future, about what would happen if one of you made it and the other didn't, how you'd stay in contact no matter what

things began to blur between the lines of platonic and romantic when your birthday came, and she had snuck you out of the dorm to go celebrate. the fact she was so willing to break the rules for you was enough to make your heart skip a beat

she may have had a little bit of a panic when she realized she was falling for you, but the other girls reassuring her that you definitely felt the same calmed her down a lot

when the competition finally started, neither of you realized how hard competing against each other would be. just knowing that there were seven spots, that one of you could get one while the other didn't, it was terrifying, and neither of you wanted to accept that outcome was possible

when the final lineup was announced, and you were both included, the first thing you two did was find each other. the hug you shared felt like coming home, and you wouldn't have let her go if not for the others wanting to hug you two as well

the seven of you went out to a fancy restaurant that night to celebrate, and that was really when things came to a head for you two. you held hands in the car, on the way in the restaurant, even at the table while you waited for your food. nobody said anything, but you already looked like a couple at that point

you had asked sophia if she liked her meal, and when she offered you a bite, you couldn't help but notice the way her eyes lingered on your lips. and you just couldn't help but lick your lips to see her reaction. her eyes darkening as they met yours wasn't something you expected, but it sent a shiver down your spine

sophia would say she kissed you first, you would say you kissed sophia first. neither of you really know, because the second you got back to the dorm, you were both headed towards sophia's room and just gravitated towards each other

that night, the two of you talked about how you felt and what you wanted, but it was in between kisses, because you just couldn't really help yourself now that you knew she wanted you back

sophia would say she asked you to be official, and you would say you asked sophia to be official. really, neither of you really asked, and instead just knew you were falling into place

dating sophia

its no secret that you're sophia's favorite. she won't admit it, you won't admit it, but the girls all tease you relentlessly about it

you can't be mad at their teasing though, because you tease sophia so much, and she lets you get away with it. you're always getting on her nerves somehow, and she's letting you because you're cute

because of the rules set into place, the two of you don't do much pda out in public beyond the occasional hug or hand hold, but when you're at home, sophia tends to cling to you. she's always touching you in some way, whether it's her legs thrown over yours as you watch tv, or her grabbing your hand to play with your fingers as you do things with the other girls

you share a room with lara and megan, but most nights you find yourself in sophia and yoonchae's room, cuddled up to sophia under the covers. if you aren't in her room, she's in yours, but megan takes blackmail pictures while yoonchae doesn't, so you go to her room by default

she loves to cook for you! she's learned how to make dishes of your culture, and you're always happy to be her taste tester. sometimes she'll feed you, and it's rare but she'll let you feed her sometimes too

you're the one who gets her to relax sometimes, when she's pushing herself too hard or spreading herself too thin. you just have to pull her close to you and tell her she's doing amazing, and she'll take a well earned break with you

she dotes on all of you, but you get special treatment. you get the most compliments, you get to choose movies most often on movie night, your snacks never run out in the pantry, you never get scolded if you forget to do your chores. manon and daniela are always the ones to call this out, and sophia just explains that you're "too cute to yell at"

your closets are a mix of each other's clothes. at this point, you're sure you've got half of her clothes and she's got half of yours. and nothing makes her happier than seeing you in one of her shirts or sweaters

it's very rare that you two ever truly disagree on something, let alone have a full blown argument. sure, you get on her nerves for fun, but you both know that's just how the two of you are, and you never cross any lines. the only time you can remember ever really arguing was when an ex of hers texted her to catch up and you felt insecure, which only made her feel like you didn't trust her. you didn't talk for three days, and only apologized to each other when the girls all left you two at the dorm to work things out

when they came home they were beyond relieved to see the two of you asleep on the couch, you curled up against her side

on your one year anniversary, she surprised you with promise rings, because she knew you couldn't get engaged yet, but she definitely had thought about it. neither of you ever take your rings off

eyecons are at least 98% sure you two have something going on. sophia just says your her best friend and you helped her through dream academy. you say you'll marry sophia one day, and eyecons always comment on how that makes her blush. they just don't know how serious you're being

nsfw

service top sophia

the two of you honestly can't keep your hands off each other

the girls have said that you tease her so much just to get her to snap and drag you to her room. and they weren't wrong

sophia is more of a giver than a receiver, but that doesn't stop you from making sure she feels good too

sometimes she does just want to feel good though, and you thrive off of seeing her laid out for you, letting you have her however you want

you're obsessed with her fingers, while she's obsessed with your mouth

she likes to leave marks where others can't see, she likes knowing you're all hers

neither of you knew that she liked being called mommy until it slipped out of your mouth

now all you have to do is whisper "mommy please" or "i need you mommy" in her ear to get what you want

she's a talker, even when she's not being touched. she'll be focusing on you and you'll hear her praising you under her breath

you've been walked in on so many times by the girls that they have a betting pool on where they will/won't find you

knowing that hasn't stopped either of you though

[xjulixred45x]

Your platonic yandere fics are so good. I wonder what other JJK characters are like as yanderes. Can I request for Yandere choso hcs. I wonder how unhinged is he

Choso is baby Even as a Yandere tbh but it's too cute to not do it🥺 thanks for the Request

Yandere Choso Kamo: General Headcanons

Genre: Headcanons

Reader: neutral

Warnings: YANDERE BEHAVIOR(BOTH PLATONIC AND ROMANTIC), OBSESIVE BEHAVIOR, STALKING, UNHEALTY MINDSET, SOFT YANDERE CHOSO, OVERPROTECTION, CLINGYNESS, SPOILERS OF ANIME AND MANGA, i think it's all.

OK! To set the stage, Choso is an overprotective, clingy, and somewhat obsessive yandere. with both a romantic and platonic Darling. just in different ways.

I think that regardless of the type of Darling Choso has, some characteristics remain. such as, for example, that they meet randomly.

What do I mean by this? You see, Choso does not understand the bases of normal human relationships, his relationship with his father is unstable at best and although he did not know his mother he knows that he loves her, so if we add Yandere to the mix it turns out that It turned out something quite... strange.

Darling can know Choso from literally anywhere, from having seen them on a mission, from having interacted with them on an outing, from being part of the school of wizardry and an ally later, etc.

Any of these scenarios can unleash Choso's interest and his growing obsession, but they have their bases in common.

I think Choso would be attracted mainly to a maternal Darling, precisely because of the lack of a maternal figure in his life and at the same time the love he has for his own mother, a Darling like that brings him a nostalgic feeling.

Choso tries to get close to his darling in a "normal" way when he realizes that this could help them not to be afraid of him, generally by having certain "casual" encounters (which is actually Choso stalking them and following them to meet them).

In this way he establishes a certain bond of trust between him and Darling, he wants to be seen in the light of friends. That is until he realizes that it is not enough for him. who wants more.

That's when the obsession becomes more dangerous, he starts wanting to be around darlings almost all the time but settles for stalking them, thus learning more about them.

This way he can also get rid of what he considers threats to Darling, other harassers, annoying coworkers, certain people who discovered him, etc.

Eventually Choso would discover (probably through Darling) the concept of a couple. which for simplicity is someone you LOVE very much and with whom you spend a lot of time. someone you want to make happy and protect.

Choso realizes thats what he wants to make it happen between him and Darling, that they be a couple. but at the same time he has NO IDEA how to do it.

although I can see Choso eventually becoming bolder with his advances on Darling, which purely based on her reaction, he may continue or stop completely.

things like holding hands in groups of people, giving a one-armed hug, saying goodbye with a hug that lasts a long time...

His attitude and predisposition depends a lot on Darling's reaction to his advances and attempts to start something else.

If Darling is within the scope of agreement, then Choso's questionable attitudes increase by 130%.

He insists on being with Darling absolutely all the time, whether it's going out, going to buy something, even when they want to be with other people.

His more obsessive side comes out, now that he and Darling are together he wants to be aware of EVERYTHING he can and has been missing.

He's surprisingly good at manipulating Darling into doing what he wants, and he doesn't do it on purpose! He just wants them to be with him and sees it as "a means to an end." He doesn't like the manipulation process.

He can begin to share more personal things apart from what we already know, like the death of his brothers or how horrible a person his father is, the discrimination he feared from humans but that Darling fortunately didn't give him and instead I give him love... those kinds of things usually come out so that you see him as someone more innocent than he really is.

In this way he makes Darling go through some other red flags, such as his clinginess, his need to know everything about you, the fact that he mysteriously knows where you are all the time...

clingy AF, he really likes having physical contact with his Darling, hugs especially. although he is not against kissing in the least.

Although in general it is usually the most pleasant case, just don't do anything that scares him or endangers your life and he is putty in your hands. damn You could even manipulate him back into abandoning some of his most annoying tendencies. It would take time, but it would be worth it.

If we go to a case of a less confident Darling who doesn't know if they wants a relationship or not, Choso is a little confused about what to do. Because he knows he loves them, but what to do if they don't know what they want?

show them what they want maybe?

Not by kidnapping, but probably giving them a good scare and making him jump before it gets out of control. Choso is not a fan of hurting Darling, quite the opposite, but they have to learn that he is what they need to be safe.

With this type of Darling he would be considerably more manipulative (intentionally even) and would try to make them see that everything he does is for their own good, that they justify it themselves.

In this scenario Choso would be more honest with his yandere tendencies. more terrifying.

now...if we go to a completely unwillingy Darling scenario...things get bad.

Let's say Choso disappears from Darling's life for a while, much to Darling's relief because it would be pretty awkward to talk again right away after being rejected.

But what they don't know is that Choso would probably be stalking them even more than before, yandere tendencies aplenty.

Choso would be aware that there is something that prevents Darling and him from being together, so he stalks them to "protect" them and know what causes this. Where does this attitude come from?

If Darling already had a partner before all this...not anymore. I'll just say that.

Choso is jealous, but his jealousy, rather than being directed at Darling, is directed towards the people who take up his time. How dare they have Darling's attention and manipulate them to stay away from him?

Darling is innocent in his eyes and can do no wrong.

I think he would use kidnapping as a last resort or if he feels that the current situation is too dangerous for Darling to be out on his own, and yet he (completely unintentionally again AND sometimes Intentionally) manipulates them into believing just that and that it is better to stay with him.

no matter how much Darling screams, cries, etc. They are not going to leave.

Although Choso offers them emotional and physical comfort, he knows that what he is doing is not entirely right, but he prefers this to Darling getting hurt in some way.

is JJK's yandere from whom Darling is most likely to develop Stockholm syndrome.

and if he does, Choso would be quite confused but at the same time very happy! He sees it as confirmation that he was fine all along.

ROMANTIC Yandere Choso tends to be more clingy than PLATONIC Yandere Choso, who tends to be more overprotective.

The case of a platonic yandere is much more limited than a romantic yandere. and I dare say, better.

Choso is one of the few Platonic yandere who doesn't really have any problem with his Darling living his life as long as he is there, although of course, he is still very creepy and overprotective and clingy to an unhealthy level.

He is more likely to meet you being your part of the Sorcery academy, for example.

We could say that he is the archetype of mama friend taken to the extreme. He wants to know where you are going, with whom, at what time, for how long, why-

apart from the fact that he takes great advantage of his "big brother rights" so that Darling has no privacy. Things like "door privilege" or being alone with someone for a long time is a big NO NO for him.

He says that it is to avoid possible unpleasant scenarios, he genuinely believes that if he leaves Darling alone something bad will happen to them. very paranoid.

Escaping from him in any case is quite complicated, he is with you 25/8 and even if you manage to get out of wherever he has you, he will most likely catch you in less than 1 hour, him being a nervous wreck.

He is stronger and more resistant than the average human being so it is no use hurting him, he regenerates super fast.

I don't think I've made this clear enough, but I'll do it now, Choso would never ever EVER hurt Darling, not even when they try to hurt him or when they've had many escape attempts, just NO-

He has suffered because of someone horrible in the past himself, he does not want to feel like that person but above all he does not want to make Darling feel the same as he felt in those moments. so it doesn't matter if Darling throws him, he'll put up with it, he can't get hurt conventionally so it's fine.

Regardless of how you ended up as a sorcerer, you are now under his charge, according to Choso. You need someone to guide you and he will be that someone.

In part you probably reminded him of his brothers, either the ones he hasn't been able to meet or even Kechiku and Esou. which causes overprotection to skyrocket.

There's no way he's going to let darling know the curses he work with, especially Kenjaku and Mahito. If any of those two try to get close to Darling Choso is prepared to fight LIFE for them.

If Darling wants more independence, it will be quite complicated, not only because Choso makes it difficult, but because in general he tends to leave Darling quite incapable, that is, to depend on him.

but at the same time it is easier to handle it with a platonic Darling, because sometimes if Darling just wants time alone you just have to give him a few cuddles and ask him with big doe eyes and a lot of please. eventually Choso relents.

or, as I said before, use your own mind games against him to get him to give you what you want! It doesn't mean you could convince him to let you go free. But at least you would get more freedom.

In general, regardless of what type of yandere he is or what type of darling you are, Choso is quite soft as a Yandere, he genuinely doesn't know that what he is doing is wrong a lot of the time.

He wants to protect you and take care of you with all his heart, even if you don't want it or don't think you deserve it, Choso will take care of you. He loves you after all.

That's what you do for the people you love, right?

Shares, reblogs and comments are very welcome!

[bisclavret]

what SICKO wrote the last scenes between gwaine and merlin is what i want to know. because even lancelot's last episode with merlin - which had to have been intentionally gay-coded since it's obvious the man is grappling with his feelings for merlin morphing from platonic to explicitly romantic - is still subtext because he doesn't have the tools to healthily express his feelings so he goes for the biggest romantic gesture he can think of: sacrificing his life to save a loved one. the writers also make sure to root this gesture back to gwen by adding a scene where she's inadvertently asking him to make that sacrifice first, so although it's very obvious that it's more for merlin than for gwen that lancelot dies for, she is there to add some plausible deniability, thus keeping his sexuality within the realms of subtext.

i don't want to delve too deeply into arthur's last scenes with merlin as there is both so much to unpack about what they mean to each other and there is also somehow nothing left to say that hasn't been said before. my point is just that there's so much at stake that if the viewer doesn't want to deal with the romantic subtext between them they can hang onto the 38 other dynamics merlin and arthur have represented to each other that the writers spent 5 years plastering on top of the gay subtext. basically, while the romance feels textual emotionally-speaking, it isn't "canon".

i don't mean to say that any relationship is better than another (even though i obviously have a preference) but that in gwaine's final scenes with merlin there's just no subtext anymore. his becomes the most explicit expression of romantic love towards merlin, and therefore the most explicit acknowledgment of homosexual love and the existence of queer people on the show:

it starts out with merlin suggesting that gwaine saved a girl from the saxons and then looked after her because he has a more than platonic interest in her, and they show us that merlin is right - gwaine and the girl eira slept together - even as gwaine half-heartedly denies any interest (which, why even deny it? merlin saw them holding hands! unless the lie is part of the point). then in that very same scene and directly after this exchange, merlin needs rescuing from the saxons, calls after gwaine, and gwaine performs the exact same role for him that he performed for eira: he saves him from the saxons and looks after him (for as long as merlin lets him).

the parallel between merlin and eira with such quick cause and effect (it literally all happens within the same minute) is where the shift from subtext to text becomes undeniable. yes, there have been other moments on the show where a character's affections towards two different genders are beat-for-beat the same, but, again, there has always been plausible deniability. in this case the parallel is meant to be taken at face value: the core point of it is to show us how gwaine expresses his attraction.

then, the dialogue they chose to bookend this scene with takes it a few steps further by functioning as a textual love confession to merlin himself: the scene opens with gwaine thanking merlin for everything he did for eira, and merlin saying that there is no need to thank him as it was the least he could do. a minute later, after merlin thanks gwaine for protecting him from the saxons as both merlin and the show just concluded gwaine did for eira for romantic reasons (even as he denied it by outright lying), gwaine parrots what merlin said when gwaine thanked him: no need to thank me, merlin, it's the least i could do.

but this comes off as the opposite of dismissive: in fact, this echoing of merlin's words is meant to jolt both merlin and the audience. by saying this right after saving merlin from the saxons, gwaine has now intentionally pointed merlin's attention towards the explicitly romantic parallel between himself and eira. gwaine is directly implying he just did for merlin what merlin correctly deduced he did for a woman because he desired her sexually and romantically, and he is using merlin's own words to challenge him into seeing past the initial flimsy lie that there is nothing between them. and what's behind the lie, of course, is that gwaine has done all of this and more because he desires merlin sexually and romantically. the camera even lingers on merlin, allowing him and the viewer to absorb what just happened. that for as long as we have known gwaine, his motivations have always boiled down to "i want to be there for merlin". and now both the audience and merlin finally know for sure what was motivating him the entire time.

what's more, by using merlin's own dismissive words, gwaine also implicates merlin's penchant for repression and denial and never allowing himself to be given credit where it's due. this unfortunately never properly gets dismantled on the show, but this moment shows that gwaine knows merlin well enough to know that he goes above and beyond for people, and that merlin's reasons for this ring as false to gwaine's ears as gwaine's reasons for saving damsels do to merlin. it also bittersweetly implies that gwaine has accepted that these are the platonic, repressed terms on which he can have a relationship with merlin. but i think the way in which he explicitly points all of this out to merlin is meant to imply that he isn't entirely happy about having to accept that. or, to circle back to eira, that merlin seems to be cheering for him to enter a heterosexual relationship when gwaine would clearly rather be with him.

what's additionally interesting to me about this is that this is one of the only scenes on this show that touch on same gender attraction that isn't using magic as a metaphor - because merlin doesn't have magic at the moment, yes, but also because gwaine is the more active character in this sequence, and he's an adventure hero, so he simply fights the bad guy to protect the person he loves. there is no metaphor to wrap this in, so he just gets to explicitly state his bisexuality. in the next scene, the very last one he and merlin share, it all becomes about magic again, which is both representative of merlin's sexuality and the show's "plausible deniability" approach to gay-coding, and so neither gwaine or merlin are permitted to acknowledge it. also, and this is for another post altogether, but all things point to "gwaine knew". not least because he gets to come out as queer without the complications of the magic-as-gay-metaphor which in turn emboldens him to ask merlin for the truth as directly as the metaphor-suffocated narrative will allow it.

tldr gwaine textually and canonically expresses and then confesses his feelings to merlin in a shockingly well-written and layered scene which makes gwaine the most explicitly queer character on bbc merlin and it's entirely because he exists outside the magic-as-gay-metaphor plot while loving someone who embodies that entire metaphor and it's crazy to me that we don't talk about this more. once again i ask what SICKO wrote this and where were they for the entire rest of this fucking show

tldrtldr at least gwaine is bi. its like i always say. at least gwaine is bi. at the end of the day. gwaine is bi. dont cry ok? gwaine is bi. at the end of the day. gwaine is bi. when all else fails. gwaine is bi. we'll always have. gwaine is bi

[gelatinous-globster]

HAPPY AROMANTIC SPECTRUM AWARENESS WEEK!!

I'm aroace, and I usually headcanon characters to be so too unless proven otherwise. I think it's fitting for Globby!

continued ramble under the cut!

To preface: I don't think Globby would think to ID with any labels unless someone sat him down and explained them all in detail. He just does his own thing <3

Globby already has a trend of committing to things based off of appearances/what he thinks he's "supposed" to do. He holds several misconceptions on what being a 'thief' realistically is, and a large motivator for his petty crimes is to "prove them wrong". He doesn't question Obake's motives because he's a supervillain now, and he's just doing what supervillains do. He throws himself wholeheartedly into roles by taking his flawed perceptions of those roles and running with them.

He already does this in other areas, and I think it tracks that he'd do the same for romantic attraction. He hits on a woman who obviously wants nothing to do with him in his debut in "Big Roommates 2". He rejects her later in "The Globby Within", and I've heard people say it's because he's already involved with Felony Carl at that point, but to be honest I don't think he truly liked her in the first place.

He's (in his mind) (and only his mind) a successful guy, and successful guys hit on women, so that's what he does! I don't think it ever clicks for him that these "successful guys" are not hitting on women just because it's in the job description.

Just how he finds out he doesn't actually want or like the core aspects of being a thief or a supervillain (harming others), and was really doing those things for other reasons (to feel special, to be good at something, to show off), he doesn't actually want or like other people in that way and is acting for other reasons (to fit a persona).

You could argue that he just doesn't like women. He and Felony Carl definitely have a gay thing going on. However, it resonates with me if he could never distinguish the difference between romantic and platonic attraction in the first place.

I already write Globby and Felony Carl more like a QPR than a strictly romantic relationship—regardless what you call it, they're very important to each other, and that's what matters!

Thank you for coming to my "Globby Is Aromantic" TED Talk.

[aromanticmina]

The 5 common questions people have about aplatonics

so, I've seen so many blogs on the aplatonic tag having to answer the same questions over and over again, so I figured I could make a list so that people can have an easier time getting to the answers they are looking for! (and apl people can just link back to this post if they're asked one of this questions, if they want to)

What does aplatonic mean?

Aplatonic is a term that refers to the lack of (or experiencing little) platonic attraction or platonic love, it can also mean having trouble forming platonic relationships due to trauma or being neurodivergent.

2. Does that mean aplatonic people don't have friends?

Not necessarily, there are aplatonic people who don't (desire to) have friends or wouldn't label any relationship they have as friendship (even though, to an outsider, some would seem as one), for numbers of reasons.

However, there are some aplatonic people who do have friends, but they're not really close to them/don't feel love for them.

love and care are different things, you can care for someone and want the best for them even when you're not close enough to them to love them.

3. But if aplatonic people don't have friends, does that mean they don't socialize with anyone?

Nope! friendships aren't the only way you can socialize with people. Family, classmates, coworkers, lovers, neighbors, those are all people you have have nice conversations with!

4. Are all aplatonics also aromantic?

Not all of them, while it's true that there are a lot of people who are both aro and apl (see: me), there are aplatonics who are alloromantic (feel romantic attraction) or just don't label their romantic orientation.

(fun fact, the original coiner of the aplatonic label is an alloromantic asexual!)

5. Are all aplatonics also loveless?

Again, not all of them, there is a great overlap between the aplatonic and loveless community (shout out to my loveless apls!), but not all aplatonics identify as loveless.

Some love in a romantic way, familiar way, alterous way (if you don't know what alterous attraction is, I recommend looking it up!) or just in a completely unique but ultimately queer way (hi, it's me, I'm lovequeer).

I still don't really get it...

That's okay, you don't have to understand something to respect it, if you're still curious and want to learn more about us, there are multiple blogs on the #aplatonic tag sharing their different experiences with aplatonicism, you just have to know where to look!

And remember! the Aspec includes the aplatonic spectrum, you can't say you support aspecs if you don't support aplatonic people as well!

[blushedfemmes]

you mentioned in one of your recent posts that you sometimes go on dates with mascs hoping they’ll be “butches in disguise”. as a baby lesbian, could you maybe help explain the difference between masc n butch in how you’re using it here? thank you <3

oh boy. this is a whole can of worms 😅

lemme just say i am extremely pro-self determination and pro-using whatever labels feel good to you, so i don’t want to sound like i’m ‘anti-masc’ in any way (that would just be silly)

BUT. i will speak to my own experiences dating as a femme4butch, and what i’ve personally seen. masc is used in the broader sapphic community as a purely aesthetic descriptor. someone who wears masculine clothing, or exhibits masculine mannerisms, or some combination of those things. i think it doesn’t carry the same historical weight (and social stigma) as butch, so it’s a lighter load for a lot of people. and it’s just more commonly used on social media.

when someone is loudly and proudly a butch, this tells me several things. first, that their masculinity goes all the way to their core, in a sense, and isn’t just resting on the surface. this is their natural and permanent state of being, which is incredibly attractive to me. second, that they are aware at least to some extent of butchfemme dynamics and therefore understand a lot more about my femininity than the average lesbian might. and third, that they know femme is not a purely aesthetic descriptor for me. this shows up in how they relate to me in a romantic, sexual or even platonic way.

a masc can be a “butch in disguise” when they have not been exposed to butchfemme. it’s hard to be something you’ve never seen or even heard about. or they might silently consider themselves butch but not put it in a dating profile because they fear the stigma, or perhaps no one has ever appreciated that part of them before.

but it’s true that most of the time this is not the case. a lot of folks simply are masc and not butch, and that is completely fine! having dated both mascs and butches, i can say the difference is subtle and hard to name, but there is one. for me it’s like margarine versus butter. and i’m a butter gal, through and through 😘

[our-arospec-experience]

Do you have any advice on how to tell the difference between romantic and strong platonic feelings as an arospec person?

I'm (I think) demi-aroace, and I don't really ever feel romantically attracted to anyone. I have a close friend (who is also aroacespec) who I think I have romantic feelings for. I don't think (or at least don't really remember) having experienced romantic feelings, so I'm finding it hard to understand how I feel.

I'm really really sorry if this is the wrong place to come, but I'm not really sure where else to ask. I've not come out to anyone as demiaroace, and the only other aroacespec person I know is the person I've mentioned above. And actually they're probably one of the only people I'd be comfortable telling.

Thanks so much if you can help, I hope this is ok to ask.

the best resource for differentiating attractions I've found so far is this one:

However, you can define your attraction however you want, or even just leave it without a label. It's okay to be confused, take your time and figure things out when you are ready.

Good luck :)

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What kind of attraction am I feeling?

It can be difficult to figure out exactly what we are feeling toward someone, especially since we can be feeling multiple types of attraction at the same time. To help you out, here are some things you might think about someone when feeling certain types of attraction.

Romantic attraction:

"I feel a physical magnetism to this person"

"I think about them all the time"

"I can't help but imagine a future with them"

"I fantasize about kissing them, marrying them, moving in with them, etc"

"I desire for them to be romantically involved with me"

"The feeling I have for them is distinctly different from how I feel about friends or family"

"I have physical reactions to them, like butterflies when I'm near them or an ache when they're away"

Sexual attraction

"I feel a physical magnetism to this person"

"I can't help but fantasize about being sexually close with them or imagining them naked"

"being near them arouses me a bit"

"I feel my loins react to their presence and I am extremely aware of how close they are to me"

"It's like everyone is in grayscale but this specific person is in full colour"

Platonic Attraction:

"I feel an emotional magnetism toward this person"

"I feel like we are on the same wavelength and I can easily understand them"

"I feel like we are vibing and it's easy to talk and share with them."

"I feel drawn to their energy"

"I am very comfortable hanging out with them and I desire to get to know them and have them get to know me"

"I can easily spend time together without a lot of effort or emotional drain"

Aesthetic Attraction:

"this person has a really cool style or a beautiful face/body

"I appreciate their beauty the same way I appreciate a beautiful sunset"

"I want to be around them in the same way I want to be around beautiful art"

"I feel a desire to stare at them or maybe even draw them"

"I enjoy how our styles compliment each other"

Sensual attraction:

"This person makes me feel like I do when I see a big floofy dog - I feel a strong desire to snuggle them or hug them or just be near them in a non-sexual way"

"I may fantasize about cuddling them or being close to them"

"I may feel inclined to physically interact with them more than other people."

end id.

[jermer10]

TF2 relationship hcs + miss pauling

suggestive, gn reader | silly romantic hcs

drabbles under the cut :P

Scout:

- the most emotionally immature out of all the mercs, also the most inexperienced with dating so he can get pretty jealous over stupid things - a demo flirts with you? dead. a medic pockets you for too long? whoops didn’t see that enemy sorry medic. god forbid another scout even breathes in your direction - ironically he used you to make Pauling jealous and eventually realised he actually likes YOU (fake dating trope my beloved) - non-stop rambles about you to his ma, when she meets you she’s already calling you her child in law - dates with scout usually consist of going to baseball games or getting lunch together, he’s pretty simple and won’t plan anything too extravagant unless it’s an occasion (with spy’s help ofc) - not huge on pda, will hold your waist or sling an arm around your shoulders on occasion, in privacy however he is HUGE on physical affection he loves you sm <333 - stroking your hair and running his fingers along your back, kisses on your neck, throwing in a couple of cheesy pickup lines here and there - pretty much only refers to you with pet names, “doll, babe, toots, handsome, etc” he’ll only use your name when he’s emotional or during intimacy

Soldier: - the most dense man on god’s green american earth so unless you’re similar to zhanna, chances are he won’t even bat an eye at you. you need to be batshit and violent for this man to notice you first - wakes you up at 5am sharp every morning for “training” (forcing you to workout with him whilst he yells at you….lovingly?) expect to be buff as hell after a couple months because his routines are intense - “DROP AND GIVE ME 20 CUPCAKE” “GOOD JOB SOLDIER. HERE IS A KISS FOR YOUR HARD WORK” “PUSH THROUGH THE PAIN SWEETHEART” - his kisses are really rough, he lifts you up into the air and spins you around or dips you and it’s genuinely super sweet, he enjoys picking you up and throwing you over his shoulder as well :3c - he has no jealous bone in his body, only random accusatory statements towards anyone who shows kindness towards you and it deters them enough for soldier to never have to worry - dates with soldier usually consist of working out or going to war museums, will never plan fancy dates so that’s all up to you - does not care about public or private affection, he will makeout with you anytime, anywhere and is unapologetic about it, much to everyone else’s dismay - “EUGH! GET A ROOM YOU TWO!” “AFFIRMATIVE, WE WILL MOVE TO THE LIVING ROOM”

Pyro: - i hc pyro as being aroace so a romantic-platonic relationship between you guys would be more mushy and cute than anything else - going out on ice-cream dates and buying matching colouring books and seeing how differently you each colour the same scene - cheek kisses no matter where you are is a must!!! holding hands around the base, tapping on each-other when bored and to show affection <3333 - the other mercs have no fucking idea what your relationship is but none of them care as long as you’re keeping pyro in check - you’re the first and only merc to see pyro without their mask on, one of the most tender moments shared between you and something that they treasure - pyro doesn’t get jealous, but they will harm anyone who makes you uncomfortable, no questions asked - cuddle buddies!!!! you guys can be seen lying around the base in a sleepy huddle, i can see demo joining and medic or engie tripping over y’all 😭 - they are super attentive of your needs and compromise despite having trouble feeling romantic or sexual attraction, as long as you enjoy it, they enjoy it

Demoman: - more of a flirt than scout is, and that’s saying something. demo will chat you up at any time of the day, whether it be in the privacy of your bedroom or straight up on the battlefield - has died MULTIPLE times because he just cant keep his eye off you, he makes mental notes of how attractive you look while bashing an enemy spy’s brain in and uses it later (WINK) - a solid 80% of your relationship is shared in silly drunk moments and the other 20 is rooted in insecurity. demo being jealous? likely. demo being scared of you leaving him for someone with two eyes and their head on straight? definitely - there are nights where he feels completely sober just holding you in his arms and acknowledging that you’re here and you love him, warts and all - SUPER BIG ON PDA!!! he wants the entire world to know that you’re his, also super big on cheesy nicknames “beauty, my love, handsome boy/beautiful girl/gorgeous partner” - messy kisses, lazy cuddles, dragging his fingers along your body feeling every dip and curve <3333 even if the affection seems half assed, his heart is devoted to you - offhandedly mentions you to his mum after dating for a year or so, to which her response is to slap him upside the head for not telling her sooner and then asking about grandbabies - you’re demo’s rock, if you asked him to go sober for you he probably would. he adores everything you do, words are unnecessary just look at his face

Heavy: - the stern and silent type, he generally doesn’t show public affection towards you unless it’s to protect you or to calm you down - in private he is the most gentle merc, holding you close to him and stroking your hair, playing with your fingers and mentally squealing at how cute and small they are compared to his, rubbing your back with his palm - he is a man of few words, but it’s pretty obvious that he is completely enamoured by you just from the way he touches you and how his gaze softens when he sees you - would plan the most personal dates, things that he KNOWS you would enjoy doing or seeing just so that he can see you smile up at him - “Любимая (darling), Дорогая (dear), Любовь моя (my love)” are the most common pet-names you’ll hear him calling you, he’s a more traditional guy - heavy is not a flirty man, he’s too blunt and would rather say what he means in the most direct way possible. thaaaat doesn’t mean he discourages you from flirting with him however - his family is extremely weary of you to begin with, heavy doesn’t talk about you much and so they’re going to be on guard (despite the fact that he could crush you with one hand if you did have malicious intent) - after a while though they warm up to you and consider you apart of the family- baking with you, teaching you how to hunt bears, making bearskin clothing, cooking the bear meat, talking about marriage and children, ANYTHING they can do to include you

Engineer: - it’s tough dating engie - he’s either working or passed out from the exhaustion of working, so you never really get quality time with him - he still takes every chance he can get to show you a good time, whether it’s cooking dinner with you or writing songs for you, he is much more romantic than he leads on - “darl, darlin, sweetheart, honeybee” sweet and simple names that roll off the tongue - the merc most inclined to shower with you. not even in a sexual way, he just enjoys the calm heat of the water and how intimate it is to share such a space - creates devices to make your life easier; need a new weapon? no need to buy a faulty mann co one, he can build you anything you want. need your very own kitchenette so you the other mercs can’t keep stealing your food? he was already drawing up the plans a week ago - the type of guy to bring you breakfast in bed every morning, putting on some slow romantic music and peppering your face with kisses to wake you up - always keeping tabs on you in battle, making sure that you’re safe and unharmed (despite knowing that you can respawn he still hates seeing you hurt) - the least jealous man to exsist, he is completely secure in himself and knows that if you didn’t wanna be with him, you simply wouldn’t

Medic: - another workaholic over here, it’s a mission getting him away from the operating table, or his desk right next to it - quiet, soft moments are few and far between, but when you do get them they are spent in each other’s arms lazying around the base - medic isn’t the romantic type and would likely just take you out to a traditional dinner or would want to teach you how to perform certain medical procedures on dates - don’t get him wrong! he loves you entirely, he just doesn’t see the need in being overly romantic with you, his way of showing love is letting archimedes anywhere near you or letting you lie on the operating table while he finishes up his paperwork - his pet names for you include “schatz (treasure), maus (mouse), meine taube (my dove)” - will pocket you 1000% and the other mercs HATE it - they have to strategise a way to keep you separated from eachother during battle - it wouldn’t matter if you were invincible or on the verge of death, this man would protect you to the ends of the earth. that being said he is also a massive shithead, will tickle you randomly or poke fun at you when you’re in a bad mood. its sweet. usually - in that middle ground of jealous but also chill af, he will only really become jelly if you’re flirting with someone else, but if they’re flirting with you he does not care unless you’re uncomfortable

Sniper: - simultaneously the most chill and anxiety ridden person on earth, the way he can go from 1 - 100 in five seconds should be studied - it takes him a VERY long time to actually warm up to you, let alone DATE you, so be wary that you’re in it for the long haul if you want this man - the first 6 months of dating are torturous for the both of you, he is far too nervous to touch you and instead of telling you this he will literally just ignore you, but once you start being physical he is one of the most touchy mercs - you will have to be the initiator in most situations until he becomes more comfortable with affection, this man has spent most of his adult life in a van isolated from society so its no kidding that he would be awkward with you (even though he adores you) - “love, babe, darling, honey” generic nicknames, if he’s feeling more comfortable he’ll use “sweetheart” or “roo” if you’re getting on his nerves - he doesn’t do dates. like sorry to burst your bubble but he would consider eating dinner together in his van or even just having a bath together a date - extremely jealous but will never admit it and it is VERY obvious. this could be said for most of his feelings though and reassurance is all he really needs - will spy on you using the scope on his gun during battles, killing enemies who might try to sneak up on you <3

Spy: - spy is by far the MOST romantic merc out of the bunch, will take you out on date nights every week, intimacy regularly, affectionate both in private and public, etc he is the dream - in saying that he is also a player, he needs a partner who can keep him feeling fresh, and someone who is just as cunning as he is - will intentionally try to make you jealous in order to get a gauge on the kind of person you are. he is entirely mind games babe and will play it off as if he doesn’t care about other people trying to flirt with you (he wants to kill them with his bare hands) - he is either going to be obsessed with you or mildly attached, there is no in between and it will be strikingly obvious which it is - often refers to you as “mon amour (my love), beau/belle (handsome/beautiful), mon bébé (my baby)” - most likely enemies to lovers, if you’re good at your job he sees you as competition, if you’re not he sees you as a nuisance, either way you’re initially a problem to him - but then he starts to wonder: why can’t he stop thinking about your skin? and the way you say his name? and the way you bashed that sniper’s brains out? he is smitten without even realising it - occasionally cloaks and follows you around to keep you safe from enemies, but mostly sticks to trying to win the match

Miss Pauling: - if you thought engie or medic were bad you have NO idea with pauling, she quite literally has one day off a YEAR - and you bet your ass she is spending it in bed all day cuddling with you - doesn’t use pet names, she’ll either call you by your last name, or some nickname variation of your first name. she called you “babe” once and cringed so hard she couldn’t even look at you - as much as she doesn’t want to put you in any danger, she LOVES bringing you along for missions. she gets to finish earlier and spend time with you, its a win-win situation - coming home from work and eating dinner with you is the highlight of her day, she could be completely exhausted and yet you bring life back into her with just a smile - yes you had to “fight” scout for her and there was absolutely no competition, he didn’t even know you two were together until she rolled her eyes and kissed you in front of him (he was surprisingly supportive) - she’s far too busy to be jealous, if someone was flirting with you she wouldn’t even notice until it escalated and the person was on the floor with you standing over them triumphantly - she dreams about being able to go on museum dates with you one day, but for now bubble baths, dinners, and morning kisses are all you both get <\3