#what’s today? Thursday?
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boy why you so mclennon
#I’m sick I think im gonna throw up#what’s today? Thursday?#I forgot the mclennon days of the week happy two of us Thursday I guess idfk anymore
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for a warm welcome of protocol season 2, have some eyepocalypse dwelling boys

this is actually a redraw of something I drew like two years ago, I really hate how I drew martin though so I needed to redo for my sanity

#what was mentioned about the end of archives in the episode today actually broke something in me#actual protocol fanart soon maybe#the magnus archives#the magnus archives season 5#tma#the magnus protocol#tma fanart#tma jonmartin#the magnus archives fanart#if you have seen wips of this painting from almost a year ago#no you havent#was going to post this before protocol dropped but then I forgot it releases on thursday not friday#whoops
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i nearly forgot about blue thursday....
so while its still thursday in my time i decided to actually do that short animation i was planning to do with @starrypawu's blue design! it is very silly i must say
#alan becker#animator vs animation#ava#animation vs minecraft#avm#ava blue#avm blue#i think i got confused with purple explosion thursday. purples supposed to explode today not blue what the heck /silly#happy blursday everyone#lilacsart
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i think the japan update of the f1 silly season post may in fact be the thing that kills me. this is all for you all.
#im quietly loosing my sanity#i think ive been writing this since a very solid 4pm and it is now 9#the race has not happened yet#it is on sunday#today is thursday#the post is already too long#and i accidentally got stuck down a nico rosberg youtube rabbit hole and had to go on lestappen ao3#this is what i get for not writing the whole thing in a mad dash at 2am#not a tag#from saph#f1#im loosing my sanity so much that my brain registered disturbia by rihanna as by brittney spears#tho maybe thats because i got stuck down the nico rosberg rabbit hole#katya said i need to go touch grass and hes probably right
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Beach Boy! Barney, jumping for joy during a trip to the beach in July of 2012.
#I don't usually post politics stuff online - even in the tags!#BUT I am currently in a state of massive relief after seeing the exit polls for our General Election in the UK today#This happy pic seemed an appropriate one to post in light of it looking as though the Tories will be out by morning!#I mean... I won't fully believe & celebrate until the *actual* results are in but the exit poll is usually pretty bang on... so YAY!#Prediction is that we will have a landslide victory for Labour - even if it's a bit wrong it looks like Labour *should* win easily#I don't massively like the current Labour party but I loathe the Conservatives & what they've done over the past 14yrs#Where I live the Tories are still actually likely to win (ick!) unless the Green Party pull off something amazing#but I don't even care about our local result much - I just want Labour to win overall & it looks like they will#Oh! Happy Independence Day to our friends across the pond!!#We will all be keeping our fingers crossed for your upcoming election results later in the year!#throwback thursday#barney#border collie#beach
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went to a vinyl record sale from the library today 🥀🎼

There was also a poetry fest happening at the library and you could request typewritten poems!
Of course I requested one about rabbits-


tulips outside the library 🌷
Coord rundown:
JSK: BTSSB Rosellina Fleur
OP: Victorian Maiden Rococo Bouquet Blouse OP
OTK’s: Metamorphose
Blouse: Gunne Sax
#lolita fashion#classic lolita#egl fashion#baby the stars shine bright#victorian maiden#egl community#records were $1 each and I got 15! mostly classical music#they were selling 9000 from their collection#but it started on Thursday so I missed most of it bc I had to work#still a good amount left today though ofc and I’m happy with what I got!!#will be less happy when I have to move my records collection lol they are so heavy#I read the bunny poem to strawberry and she did not like it very much :(#I think it’s cute though she IS a shameless libertine#mine
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Listen man I know it’s been said many times but I miss Jenna Marbles
#jenna marbles#I know she is a real person#and has reasons beyond#bEiNg CaNcELlEd#which she wasn’t#for leaving the internet#and I hope she is doing well#but I awaited her Wednesday/Thursday videos every week since I was like 12#I think she is very special#I wish there were more YouTubers like her#but I think it’s almost impossible to do what she was doing on YouTube today#no clickbait#no sponsors#no photoshopped thumbnails#just vibes#I am also not saying that all YouTubers that do that stuff are bad
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microdosing time travel by straight up forgetting that a day passed
#i thought today was my wednesday#turns out it's my thursday#where did sunday go. i recall visiting my work bestie before she leaves :( but thats it.#what happened
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“og 4 aliens very particular vibe in being ‘three distinct flavours of socially awkward loner and also valentino rossi’” LMAO I WAS JUST THINKING THIS!!!!!! That he has the funniest possible 3 foils in that era bc like…those three guys could not be less his vibe ~personality wise if they tried. And actually tbf I do think they WERE trying a lot of the time. Feeling very curious if you think there’s anything to the idea of how Marc was the first alien-era rival he had who was more on his level all around? Like early days Marc was kind of just 😀😀😀 all the time but I do think he can be v charming and is clearly extroverted as hell (tho like…notably also a loner but like…not by choice??). Like idk where im going w this but the contrast is interesting to me. IDK
to some extent! I'm not sure I'd necessarily call marc an extrovert, you can be charismatic and cheerful without being an extrovert - but also this is splitting hairs. the og four aliens are one guy who's on the 'roughly as extroverted as you can possibly get as a professional athlete' end of the spectrum and three guys who are on the 'roughly as introverted as you can possibly get as a professional athlete' end. now, tbh, I don't think valentino massively minded this. he's extroverted but crucially he's also got enough charm going for him that he could get his rivals to chat with him if he was so inclined. he had an increasingly friendly relationship with dani, there's real genuine warmth in how both of them talk about each other - ultimately dani might have been quite sullen and withdrawn in general, especially in his early years, but he got on well with valentino. casey and valentino had perfectly decent interpersonal chemistry, they got on well, and tbh they were still warm with each in-person long past the point where that relationship had rhetorically soured. with jorge... I mean, okay, no chemistry there, but that was also very much valentino's choice. I do not fundamentally doubt valentino's ability to charm twenty year old jorge lorenzo. I think just because they were DIFFERENT characters, that doesn't necessarily mean they weren't valentino's *type* personality-wise, like he does seem to be happy enough to be the chatty one who draws them out of their shells in that scenario. unless competitive necessity requires otherwise!! but as marc discovered, somewhat higher levels of extroversion does not protect you if that's the case
I will say I know you do put alien-era as a caveat, but it is still important to point out that marc is very much not the first valentino rival who doesn't fall in the introverted loner camp. valentino had a rival who matched his vibe!! who he had a real proper off-track friendship with, who he went on holidays with, who he had a warm relationship with for substantially longer than the marc/valentino honeymoon lasted. I think you can see the early marc era as a bit of a return to the friendlier vibes of the early noughties, but crucially it is a return. the early noughties was the last gasp before the sport came to be completely dominated by a bunch of young prodigies who had been moulded into perfect athletes and had less chance to grow into people outside of the sport - valentino is already part of that camp in everything but temperament, cf the contrast with biaggi. in the early noughties, he was surrounded by a bunch of older riders who varied dramatically in disposition... biaggi was the guy everyone had issues with, capirossi was always fond of valentino, kr jr he got on well with, he played a mentoring role for in hayden's rookie season... and of course, most importantly, the friendship with sete - now there's an obscenely friendly rivalry right until the very moment when it isn't. 2013-14 is a bit of a return to that more congenial climate, but at the end of the day that lot were still less likely to socialise than riders were back in the day. they just didn't have the time lol
so yeah, I mean. valentino clearly did take to marc on a personal level, and marc is definitely closer to valentino on the introversion/extroversion spectrum than the three other aliens are. though that is also... not difficult. there is something quite funny about how 2006-07 went from valentino's pov. the engine regs changed, valentino literally blinked and suddenly all his opps were toddlers. went from goofing off with capirossi on the sepang 2006 podium to running a daycare centre overnight. and marc is part of that! it's also a massive change in that suddenly, valentino was surrounded by rivals who had been influenced by watching him ride as they grew up and were all really, really, really weird about him. marc with his little bike collection, jorge with his dabbling in pseudoscientific schools of psychology, casey and his championship-winning shirt, dani... well, tbf, I do actually think dani was pretty normal about valentino - probably because he'd known him the longest. had gotten drunk with valentino in the days when the bloke was just an idol and not a god. which is an underrated reason why the dani/valentino relationship never got so weird imo, one that goes beyond competitive calculus - dani was the most capable of interacting with valentino as just another guy. with all three of marc/jorge/casey, that idolisation dynamic does contribute significantly to the interpersonal turmoil
but that's a topic for another day! in conclusion, marc defo the dispositionally cheeriest foil of the alien lot, albeit somewhat by default, and WAS part of the reason why motogp got a bit of a mood lift in that 2013-14 period after what had just been a dire few years vibes-wise. mediocre racing, devastation caused by the financial crisis, tragedy... motogp was feeling quite lifeless in 2011-12 in particular, and those years do have a bit of a drab energy to them. in that sense, what followed was a bit of a reversion to the mean until the vibes completely went off the cliff. have they ever recovered? who can say
#20 yr old jorge lorenzo prob could've been charmed with two compliments and a hug like fundamentally it's not that hard. send me in chief#I think I'm slightly off the extrovert marc train because me and bikefuckersoftheworldunite (well mainly not me)#have recently stumbled across a bunch of old pressers primarily from 2004#and. brother. the vibes were very different back then#i do fairly regularly watch thursday pressers during the year and let's just say it's a contrast from watching pecco marc and jorge -#- discover new exciting ways of examining dust particles three metres to the left of each others' heads#and marc's not just like that with his actual rivals!! he supposedly 'likes' 'bastianini' and that's not exactly flowing chitchat is it#this wasn't just a valentino thing either. guys back then just talked more idk what to tell u#casey would repeatedly stab me for this and i am SORRY king i am a gutter-born philistine with poor morals and wretched taste#but this is also why you desperately needed valentino in the alien era. like you need somebody to get these guys talking#but crucially i think it's a great contrast!! i think it's sweet when dani and casey discover speech and beam at valentino!!#i also don't think valentino massively minded friendly!casey like again the basic chemistry really wasn't ever the issue#//#brr brr#//at#batsplat responds#vale said in mid 2008 that his relationship with his rivals (read: dani/casey) was more 'normal' than in the past which is incredible stuff#given the generational acts of psychological and also literal terrorism he was about to commit#but yeah i mean aside from some barbs in the media that three-way dynamic was pretty all right. they did have fun together#honestly even those pressers probably had substantially better vibes than the stuff today. where ARE the messy extroverts#farewell aleix </3 last of a bygone era
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#i have returned from my break#gonna go through comments and my inbox after therapy#cause i'm a dumbass and keep scheduling therapy at 8am#what kind of psycho#at least it gets it out of the way#anyway i'll be doing stuff on the blog today again#hope you all had a lovely thursday#or whatever day that was for you#time man#it's not real
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wishing everyone who celebrates a happy easter and an even happier transgender day of visibility 🐣🪩🫶🪽
#went to church with my mom for the first time in years just because we thought it could be fun (it was!) and im thinking about. themes#resurrection and rebirth belongs to trans and nonbinary people and if i was going to pray i would thank god for making me queer !!!#the middle picture is from a disco themed university party we had on (holy) thursday where i had So much fun#(the crucifix earring was Mostly ironic and for the aesthetic)#been experiencing a lot of queer joy lately. as well as some new and complicated but Good feelings about gender. and maybe religion as well#anyway.#easter#religion#gender#tdov#trans day of visibility#lgbtq#queer#mine#💛#religion mention#christianity mention#<- just in case people dont want to see anything to do with religion in the trans tags today (or ever) !! <3 sorry if i missed something#edit: i originally also had a quote from julian k. jarboe here about humanity partaking in the act of creation#but i didnt realize the quote was from a jewish person regarding judaism so i removed it from the association with easter and christianity#the quote itself slaps and idk to what degree different religions and discussions or art about them should be kept separated !!#but im not the authority on that and ofc dont want to make anyone uncomfortable !!
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I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently
#facebook always does that 'here's a post from this day 8 years ago' thing. and I see old comments interacting#with people and it's so like.. OOOOO~~ where are they now?? what's going on? how much have they changed as people?#how much are they the same? this is fascinating. i should contact them!!' but then it's like... take that to it's logical conclusion though#you would contact them and then IF they even responded it would take you 80 years to respond and then they would#think there was something wrong or that you were trying to be insulting or something. To contact anyone I need to include an 85 page#disclaimer of all of my social issues & mental illness things. 'If i take 3 weeks to reply I promise it has nothing to do with u' etc lol#THIS is why more people need to be into phone calls/voice calls/some form of audio real time communication/etc.#I think one of the main things that's hard about messaging through text for me is it's so unscheduled and open ended#(plus it takes forever if you're talking about anything in detail and gets very long very quickly)#because like you can send a message and then just get a reply whenever. and then you're expected to reply back whenever#so it's like you never know when the response will come or when a new obligation to reply can come up? so it's like this sudden thing with#no outline?? if that makes sense. whereas a phone call is very like 'hello let's schedule a call from 10am - 2pm on thursday'. And you know#EXACTLY when the interaction will start and EXACTLY when it will end and you can plan around it in your schedule easily.#I have the reverse thing of a lot of people (how people don't pick up phone calls/hate calls/only text)#I would literally talk on the phone with a stranger. I would have a discord voice chat with someone I barely know.#if someone I hardly even remember from elementary school asked to have a voice call with me out of nowhere I would do it.#but if a stranger MESSAGED me?? or someone I barely know sent me a TEXT or something?? I will never reply probably#It's just too vague and weird. and you can't read voice tone over text. and the interaction could last forever with no clear end#point and etc. etc. But a call is like. set. established. clear boundaries. you can read the flow of conversation better. rapport. etc. etc#I get that I guess people feel more anonymous or distanced over text?? but you can have fake phone numbers on the computer. or do like disc#rd calls. or zoom without a camera or etc. etc. Also the distance that's present in text is BAD distance because it just means that tone is#not conveyed properly and you will never truly get a sense of the person's conversational vibe or mannerisms or how well you really click.#ANYWAY ghgjh...... I'm so so so interested in concepts of like.. How did that one kid I used to talk to in elementary school#but then they moved away in 5th grade - how did they end up? what are they doing now?? etc. etc. Like despite the severe social anhedonia#and general lack of connection with others I'm just really fascinated in like.. idk. the human development of it all and like#the concept of how we're actually a million different people through the course of our lives ever evolving in different iterations and etc.#PLUS again. i love nostalgia. sometimes old peple you know might remember a shared memory or can tell you about something you forgot#or etc. like it's SUCH A COOL THING in CONCEPT but I am too socially inept generally speaking lol. which people I still talk to today are#familiar with my 'phone call once every few months' communication style. but strangers would just be like... wtf. And I don't blame them#Sure I literally cannot change the physical health + brain issues i have - but also I know enough to not put others through that lol
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spring is here!!
#i despise summer because i cannot tolerate heat#but spring? spring is my friend#today it’s 8 degrees a little windy and very sunny#perfect :)#i love vitsippor#what are they even called in english???#wood anemone i think#sorry not art but wanted to share and say i’m not doing too well after thursday’s so called therapy#but taking today off and going on a 40 minute walk did in fact help
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if i’m not constantly stressed and busy, then i’m lazy and wasting valuable time, but if i am constantly stressed and busy then i am constantly stressed and busy
#and that my friends is the capitalist propaganda brainrot#the dilemma of all time#my posts#i’m busy every saturday and monday and tuesday and wednesday#and i’m about to sign up for something else on fridays#and that leaves my designated days of rest to thursday and sunday#but see#thursday is a week day so it’s not really a rest day#and sunday is… a sunday#and i gotta spend today prepping my debate speech anyway#i am so behind on that omfg#but i still don’t feel like im doing enough fr#like i don’t play a sport#i’m not in any APs rn#i’m not signed up for dual enrollment#so what’s the point if i tutor people and do debate and join a resume building program?#my shit is not that impressive in the grand scheme of things#and i feel like one day im gonna look back at myself and be frustrated because i wasn’t busy enough#spent too much time fucking around on the internet or whatever and not enough time signing up for more shit#with the way things are going now i am not setting myself up for a scholarship#i have a 4.0 but it could’ve been a 4.5#or it could’ve been a 4.0 with a sport#or a 4.0 with an internship#but it’s not#and it's not like i'm even good at debate either#it's not gonna count towards a scholarship if i'm simply IN it but i'm not any good at it#and i don't even know why i'm so stressed fr#i have at least 3 hours to myself every day not counting homework and dinner#dios mio…
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guys I'm so hot and yet nobody has a crush on me
#today got to wear my new cropped dark red crochet jumper w my black maxi skirt and docs and my leather jacket#i looked so hot you don't even understand#black and dark red clothing ily ily ily#i wish i could wear my heeled boots to uni but my bloody laptop is too damn heavy#MAYBE I SHOULD WEAR THEM TO MY EXAM ON THURSDAY#no laptop that day teehee#is that weird if i wear them#maybe not#I'm just so hot and mysterious oh my god#how did i date my ex like how#if you compare me now side by side to them it's like WHAT#they just get women cause they're masc and have a big ego#rants n rambles
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sob sob cry cry ourrgghhh stomach hurty
#personal#my discharge letter said to contact GP when no steady improvement happens#obviouslt i only got out of hospital yesterday#but if pain remains at this exact level i AM calling my GP on thursday#just made that plan to give my brain a break from worrying#the crying was not from pain btw#im just causing chaos with A because idk what to do with myselves#and i am so angry so angry so angry i couldn't see her in person today#but i just emailed her and had some insights#and did the mentioned crying and sobbing#and now i get to take ibuprofen again#so maybe the pain will ease a bit more in like half an hour
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