#what they only have in common is that there’s romance between a ‘poor’ girl and a well-off guy . they’re so different in other parts

[must4rds33d]

again and again how many times do people have to be told that jane eyre is IN FACT not the ‘i can fix him’ girl . she didn’t fix shit

[khunyuki]

"I've lived my life with blade and you always in my mind"

ꜱɪᴅᴇ ꜱᴛᴏʀʏ: 𝚊. 𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚊𝚕𝚠𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚊 𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚌𝚒𝚊𝚕 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚌𝚎 𝚒𝚗 𝚖𝚢 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚝

Synopsis: To Hoshina Soshiro, it was a feeling of love not at first sight but even before he met her, he knew he loved her. To Uzui Kagami, he was her hopes and dreams came true and learned to love him since. From childhood until adulthood, they've been together. Witness their romance from the past! A bond that can never be broken so easily for it is formed by the culmination of time.

Pairing/s: Soshiro Hoshina x Fiancee!OC

Notes: I am posting this first because I thought it would be better to show their good relationship first than the planned main story. Soshiro is down bad for his fiancee.

Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Childhood Sweethearts, School Romance

Masterlist: TOC, Next

One of the happiest days in Uzui Kagami's life was the day, she and Soshiro became engaged as children. During her earliest memories, she absolutely adored her parents' relationship and dreams to have the same once she got older. To her surprise, a visit to some place other than her house changed the trajectory of her life! Why? Because her dream has finally come true! At least half of it did.

From that moment onwards, she would often visit the Hoshina estate to train with them and be with her fiance. Poor Kagami was so shy that despite this being what she wanted, she couldn't even bring herself to come near him, satisfied with just watching him from afar.

Kagami would hide behind a pillar or a wall and watch the Hoshina brothers train, with her eyes on Soshiro and Soshiro only. She would admire his skills, his looks, his growth, and his persistence. Not that she could tell him that, she couldn't even be in the same room as him without clamming up.

For the first few weeks of introduction, she would gaze at him from afar until his older brother could no longer handle it. Soichiro-niisan dragged her out of her hiding spot like a wet kitten and placed her on the sidelines to observe closely. She tried to run away but ultimately failed from his tight grip.

"Kagami-chan, you don't have to peek from afar when you could just watch here"

Soichiro-niisan tried to smile softly in order to calm the girl he just dragged over. But all it did was to make her cower and fidget uncomfortable while looking down.

"Don't bully her, nii-san"

Soshiro, with his two bamboo swords, hit his brother with their swordstyle mercilessly.

"Ouch! Wait! Soshiro! I'm sorry so please stop already!"

Having been caught off guard with no weapons, Soichiro would've accept his hits if it didn't hurt so much. It was rare to see this side of his brother, after all.

Once he stopped, only then did Soshiro turn to look at Kagami. She had long since stopped cowering and was now admiring him. Was he her prince charming or her knight in shining armor? Maybe both, cause him saving her made her like him even more.

"You can just stay here and watch"

He said so coolly with much composure and returned to his training. Kagami could only blush, trying to hide how giddy she was feeling.

.

As a child, Hoshina Soshiro didn't bother to understand what his family were talking about if it wasn't related to training or kaijus. He would attempt, yes, but his young brain still isn't able to comprehend it well.

They said something about an engagement between him and someone he will meet that day. He doesn't mind if it's something his parents decide for him. Arranged marriages are common like his older brother who already has a fiancee too.

It truly dawned on him from the moment his eyes laid on a particular shy girl that just entered the room. She was hiding behind her father but would peek out several times. He could only catch glimpses of her but he could already feel the pounding of his heart.

It was weird. He never experienced such having his heart beating so fast when resting. Was it because she reminds him of a squirrel, so cute and fidgety? He didn't know but when their eyes met, it felt like arrow shot through his heart.

It was love at first sight.

Soshiro was blushing madly for the very first time and his older brother doesn't help at all with all his teasing. Maybe it was the commotion that his brother was making that set their engagement in stone.

Cause when Kagami looked up from her bow, he was already avoiding her eyes. Especially once he saw her hopeful face and sparkly eyes. It struck a critical hit to his heart.

From that moment onwards, he would see her around the estate. She would sometimes be training on the dojo or watch him and his brother train from afar. Whenever she's watching, he couldn't help but take glimpses of her causing him to be distracted and lose cue his older brother's teasing.

As much as he wanted to look cool, he couldn't really do it after losing to his brother, can he? The saving grace for him would be when his brother picked her up and put her down next to him. It annoyed him when he did so cause how could his brother touch his fiancee like that. Soshiro was able to look cool by 'defending' her from his brother.

Be that as it may, it was truly bad for his young heart to have her around him like this. How could he remain calm when she's been staring at him the whole time. If he did talk to her while looking at her face, he can't guarantee not stuttering in front of her.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~AGE 5~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

It didn't take long for the two of them to be close enough to feel comfortable with each other's presence. They could just sit on the porch without talking and they're already content with it. Occasionally, they would spar until it became a bonding moment just for the two of them.

Most of their progress was all thanks to Soichiro-niisan who decided that it was his duty to be as meddlesome as possible in his brother's lovelife. He, not only would egg on his little brother by calling him weak, but also tease him in front of his crush. It contributed to the explosive growth of Soshiro when his task is to keep his older brother's mouth shut tightly from embarrassment.

Soshiro would continue to lose over and over again but demands to have a rematch even if it meant having tantrums in front of Kagami. He knew he was losing face by doing so but he atleast wanted to look cool yet his brother kept denying him of that.

Much to Soichiro-niisan's surprise and pleasure, his taunts did not only work on his little brother but also his little sister-in-law. As clueless she may be, she could tell if the words being said were an insult to her fiancee. Kagami would bring out her meanest look and glare at her big brother-in-law.

During those times, Kagami would scold him for bullying his little brother and say that Soshiro is the best swordsman in the world despite being so young and he could beat him because he's always been working hard and putting in effort more than anyone else. It would only be at the end that she realizes that it was all a bait from the smirk on his face as he leave the two blushing figures alone.

It still took a while for them to be close enough to make eye contact with being a mess. But atleast they got to talk to each other as a result.

To Hoshina Soshiro, it was the beginning of something new.

To Uzui Kagami, it was the start of her dream come true.

It was the age of innocence where seeds have been planted, not knowing what kind of fruit it will bear.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~AGE 7~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Two years after their engagement, they were now a bit more mature yet still childish. They understand that they have duties to perform and live up to expectations of the adults. Such burdens, when introduced to children was a lot of pressure to say the least.

Soshiro acknowledging to himself that he is a reject compared to his perfect brother. Only his persistence to wield the sword was his salvation.

Kagami having to face countless trials not knowing that it might never end in the pursuit of perfection. In hopes of being acknowledged by her family despite her grief.

Just last year, Kagami's mother died along with her unborn baby brother. It was an unfortunate incident where a kaiju appeared near the hospital on the day of her checkup and they got caught in the aftermath. Ever since then, her father became a different person along with her other clan members.

The shift in the atmosphere was so obvious that even Kagami, as dense as she is, could feel it. She was restricted from visiting the Hoshina estate in order to prepare herself as the sole heir to the head of the clan. Many times she wished to run away but she couldn't do so because whenever she got caught, more punishment would just await her.

Her solace was when the Hoshinas would come to visit. They would dress her up and tell her to smile and act like nothing happened to not disgrace her family any further. In which, she does so without question cause just meeting her fiancee was enough for her.

Soshiro felt a pleasant surprise with how Kagami welcomed him to her home with much excitement but maybe that was just him missing her as it has been a long time since they last met each other.

As they were given the time to be alone, he knew that it was an act shown to the people around them. Only with him does she show her real face, as does he. Their comfort is with each other, comrades in their struggles at their young age.

In the place where Hoshina Soshiro believes that he is a reject, to Uzui Kagami he is perfect just the way he is.

In the place where Uzui Kagami has to be perfect in every way, to Hoshina Soshiro her imperfections are part of her charms.

The seeds have been nurtured and sprouted, taking root into the deepest pits of their hearts.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~AGE 13~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Middle school is the place where young teens start to experience such things called hormones. Spring is the moment of encounters but it is also the season of love.

Kagami doesn't think that being in middle school would change anything as it is just a small part of her life. She didn't think it was as important as her life back at home. That's what she try to tell herself because it's been over a year and she never had any friends yet.

It doesn't matter does it, she thought. But in reality, she blames her shy personality and being an introvert for making her lose out on things. Her pessimistic attitude doesn't help as it only makes things worse.

Hormones were the worst thing ever as it developed her body in the most uncomfortable ways like the sudden growth of her chest and the hellish pain of losing blood on a monthly basis. It also messes up her mind by giving her complicated thoughts and the sudden influx of emotions was enough to make her crazy as she has to act like nothing is happening.

There was one thing she believes in though. Love. It was something she already experienced herself and will continue to do so in the future. This age only gives her fantasies of what she wants their relationship to be like if she gets the courage to make a move.

"What are you thinking to make you smile like that?"

Soshiro asked as he long put down his book in order to observe her. Since when? She didn't know but being caught in the act itself was enough to make her feel embarrassed.

"I-It's nothing!"

While she tried to cover her face with the book on her hands, Soshiro pretended to think by placing his thumb and index finger on his chin before he revealed a mischievous grin.

"Were you... Thinking about me? Even though I'm right in front of you?"

Hoshina Soshiro struck a homerun! If only the ground could swallow her whole so that she could hide, but there is no hole to hide inside the library. She had to settle with pressing the book closer to her face as that's the only way she could hide.

"You're so cute~"

Soshiro chuckled with his eyes open as she fidgets around and didn't know what to do. Can a human being possibly melt? Cause she's combusting so much she could melt.

"Please stop teasing me"

She let go of her book and buried her face in her arms on the table to hide her burning face. It was a futile attempt as she was already caught but she still did it anyways. At least let her keep her dignity!

She could hear him getting up from his seat and sitting beside her. His fingers brushing her hair and tucking it behind her burning ears.

"It's true though"

He paused and she couldn't help but take a peek at the rustling beside her. He was in the same position as hers yet peeking at her with his eyes open, showing that soft and sweet smile that is exclusively for her eyes only. Maintaining eye contact to show the seriousness of his words.

"For me, you're the prettiest girl in the entire world"

Uzui Kagami.exe has stopped working.

Hoshina Soshiro.exe has also stopped working.

Thank goodness it was only the two of them in the library at this hour, otherwise, it would be the listeners who dies at second-hand embarrassment from their flirting.

The buds of youth quivers at its desire to bloom.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~AGE 15~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Hoshina Soshiro has made it a habit to tease his fiancee whenever possible. He couldn't help it when her reactions are so cute and amusing. He feels proud to being the only one with the right to see her like that.

He often smirks and act smug in front of his classmates and the other boys in their school, those he clearly knew has a blatant crush on his fiancee. Sometimes he wishes that she knows just how popular she is so she could feel confident in herself but at the same time he's glad she doesn't know.

It was always clear as day that she favors him more than any other, to him and to the people around them. To others, she would grace a polite smile and only answer their questions professionally. With him, she would laugh at his jokes and engage in conversations. Showing off that sweet smile that captivates anyone who sees it, including Soshiro.

Soshiro didn't know how many times he had to control himself from glomping at her and keeping her by his side, somewhere only he can see. The same smile that critically hit his heart on the first day they met continues to do so every single day, each time getting more powerful.

When he reminisces on their first meeting to now, he could see the improvement on their relationship for they had grown closer than before. If in the future, they continue to be together while working and get married then have kids---.

Stop! He's getting ahead of himself when they hadn't even hold hands yet... Wait... They haven't hold hands yet?

"Soshiro? Soshiro! Are you okay? You suddenly slapped yourself"

Asked Kagami with eyes filled with concern at his unexpected actions, not knowing she was the cause of it.

"It was nothing"

"Eh? Are you sure? That looks painful though"

She lifted her arm so her hand could touch the growing bruise on his cheeks. The feeling of her fingers gingerly touching his cheeks like it was something fragile and precious felt like static so he winced.

"It is painful! Come on, let's go to the infirmary to dress it okay?"

She immediately held his hand like it was a natural thing to do and dragged him to the infirmary. Soshiro felt stupid at his earlier thought. Who said they haven't hold hands yet? They were doing it now, weren't they?

Still, he hopes she doesn't turn around to look at him so she wouldn't see just how red his face is.

Since then, Soshiro keeps making excuses to touch her hand. He doesn't need to since she'll gladly let him do so anytime.

You must give it sufficient nutrients in order to bloom.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~AGE 18~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Ever since they were children, they've been training hard to join the defense force as their ultimate goal. To slay kaijus, serve their country, and make their family proud.

<Defense Force Screening Exam Part 2 Venue>

After passing the written exams, Uzui Kagami and Hoshina Soshiro are confident in their abilities to pass the second part of the exams as well.

"Are you nervous?"

Soshiro asked the girl beside him as they stand in front of the venue, squeezing her hand in comfort.

"Just a little bit"

Kagami placed her free hand on her chest, not only was she nervous of the exams but also the thought of encountering new people.

"Me too. But we've been working hard for this for a very long time, haven't we?"

Soshiro despite being nervous himself cheered her up. In doing so, cleared both his and her worries.

"You're right"

Giving one last squeeze on each other's hands, they walked inside and took the test.

.

The two of them settled inside a cafe as they revealed the envelopes that will change their lives.

"Somehow, i'm getting nervous that my hands are shaking"

Kagami said as she attempted to stop her shaking, the tension was making her hands clammy and sweaty.

"Do you want to open it now?"

Soshiro was calm, seeing her this fussy once more felt like his nervousness was transferred to her instead of him. He felt guilty but still thinks she was cute like this.

"No matter the outcome, i'll still be proud of you"

He tried to comfort her with his words though it somehow only deepened her frown.

"I can't have that. We have to pass together"

With deep concentration, she took her envelope in her hands and opened it. Though struck by her resolve, he could only smile and shake his head, copying her actions.

Uzui Kagami/Hoshina Soshiro, as a result of you satisfactory performance, you have PASSED the exam.

A moment of silence before...

"We did it! We passed!"

With a rare outburst of joy, Kagami hurriedly moved out her seat to his and tackled him with a hug. Soshiro was expecting them to both pass but it truly does bring him joy when she expresses her happiness so well.

It was one of the rare instances that he sees of her initiating things. And he was indulging in it.

"Let's celebrate this occasion with some Mont Blanc and coffee"

Kagami called for the waiter and gave their orders. At the same time, she went back to her seat after recovering from her high. It felt like they could hear each other's thoughts as they both bowed to each other.

"Let's continue to work together from now on. Please take care of me"

Rewarding their hard work and efforts, the flower finally bloomed.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~Early 20's~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Kagami and Soshiro joined the same division and stayed there together, having only each other's backs. It wasn't without struggle for them as they both specialize in sword slaying. Kagami was more flexible of the two as her precision and accuracy was better in long distance range so she could easily pick up a gun, but still she prefers to use swords if she could.

On one particular day, she heard her fellow officers making fun of her and her fiancee. It would've been fine if they were insulting her only but they also had to insult him. She was usually calm and quiet, preferring to keep to herself but she would never let anyone who insults Soshiro continue to yap their mouths.

"Please take that back! Soshiro-san has been working hard this entire time and putting in double the effort more than anyone else! If you give him a chance, you will understand that he can shine even brighter when he uses his swordsmanship!"

Hoshina Soshiro wonders why there was a crowd forming just outside the training room, until he heard a familiar voice inside of it. That voice, usually so calm and quiet to the point of whisper, was loud enough to pique the attentions of passersby. It wasn't only her uncharacteristic outburst that was eye-catching but also the words she's saying were. For it was filled with praises for him.

Once Soshiro realized that he was the topic of the conversation, he felt shy but he wanted to stop her even more. He doesn't want her to fight their fellow officers nor does he want her to get scolded by their superiors.

After wrestling his way through the crowd, he finally dragged her away, offering apologies on her behalf. Even if they did deserve the scolding they received from her, and doesn't really want to apologize to them, he had to do so out of courtesy.

Once he got her away to somewhere private, she was still quite upset, eyes glistening with unshed tears. She refused to look at his face and look down.

"I appreciate you defending me, Kagami. However, it's not like you to be that angry"

Soshiro urges her to look at him, to stare at his eyes by placing his hands on her cheeks. Once she look up, he could see the sad expression on her face. She was sad for him.

"They went too far. They don't know how great of a person you are. You're the best when it comes to close combat and slaying small kaijus, you could eliminate more than any of them could yet they still..."

"Thank you"

He wanted her to say more but her current state wouldn't let her. She was a bawling mess in his hands as he wipes away her tears. It was her first time crying in front of him yet he felt happy. All because she was thinking of him, all of it was for his sake and never yours.

The truth is, he was so incredibly touched by his fiancee's actions. It almost moved him to tears himself. Everyone wanted him to stop, his superiors and his family, yet she hopes that he could keep going. She pushes him to do what he loves despite people saying otherwise.

If they weren't at work right now, or if they were somewhere more private than the place he chose, he would've kissed her on the lips. He just settled for the forehead instead then he hugs her while patting her head. He whispered once again.

"Thank you"

The little flower happily showers in the rain filled with love.

<- Table of Contents Next ->

[hadesoftheladies]

FEMALE MOVIE/TV RECS (PART 1 / FANTASY)

got inspired from a recommendation post so decided to make a list of movies and shows with female-centric stories/female protagonists. since i can't post all of the genres in one post, i'll split it into multiple posts and y'all can save or add to the list as you wish. (disclaimer: i have watched most of these, but i only know about the existence of others. not every movie/show on these lists will be my recommendation. my recommendations will be beneath the list with reasons. also some of these are way better than others in terms of storytelling/performance--which is why i'll list my faves separately):

#1. FANTASY/ADVENTURE (LIVE ACTION)

Common Themes of Media In the List:

-Strong female friendships

-Romance critical (or anti-romantic centrism)

-Emphasis on female-female relationships

-Warrior girls and women

-Revenge against awful men

-Distrust of male love interests

Ones I Haven't Watched:

His Dark Materials

Everything Everywhere All At Once

Paradise Hills

Crimson Peak

Outlander

The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina

House of the Dragon

The Nevers

Cursed

NOT LISTED BUT QUALIFIES

Pan's Labyrinth

Mary Poppins

Twilight

The Craft

The BFG

PERSONAL NOTES FOR THE ONES I'VE WATCHED

The School for Good and Evil

5/10

There were many things about it that were good. The chemistry between the two leading actresses, the primacy of friendship over romance, the effects, the costume and set design, the insane cast (Charlize Theron, Cate Blanchett, Michelle Yeoh, Kerry Washington?!) and the score. Some of the performances were good, too. The pitfalls of the film had more to do with the writing and directing. Some scenes were rushed, some dialogue was embarrassingly bad, some plot points were just nonsensical and childish. The magic system was also not well executed (though I've seen worse).

It's mostly mid, but the ending is refreshing for the fairytale genre and if you like fairytale fluff, you'll probably be more willing to forgive the film's transgressions. If you can, there'll be a lot of fun left to have with it.

2. Damsel

6.5/10

More action than fantasy and with a much smaller cast. Most of the movie focuses on Millie's character. The performances in this were pretty good, though. If you like heroines getting revenge, non-cliche fantasy stories involving princesses, and dragons, this movie is right up your alley! Also the costuming is delightful! It's predictable, but it is also entertaining.

3. Willow

7/10

This show was just fun. Fantastic effects, female heroics, tomfoolery, lesbians, action, evil forces, cool costuming, lesbians, sword-play, riddle-solving, dumbass princes, sarcastic mentors, and lesbians! This show knew exactly what it was trying to be. Aside from some poor performances, my overall impressions is positive.

4. Wednesday

7/10

I personally enjoy Wednesday Addams' character wherever I see her. Having a whole show of her was just a treat. I didn't care for the typical highschool-shenanigans (like the cliques) as much, but there were many enjoyable elements in this for me. Particularly, the effects, the crime, the other female characters, and the ending. It's entertaining and pretty to look at. Also I'm always on my wenclair propaganda.

5. Shadow & Bone

6/10

I've read the Six of Crows duology and the first book of the Shadow & Bone trilogy, so for me this show was a let down. For new watchers, however, you'll find interesting female characters, cool effects, and an entertaining (though sometimes choppy) plot. Inej Ghafa is my queen forever, regardless.

6. Renegade Nell

7/10

This is puts the fantasy in revenge fantasy. I love all the actresses from Derry Girls, and Louisa Harland is still charming in this. It's basically if Gentleman Jack (same director, I think) and Tinkerbell teamed up. Or if Little Women was also Pirates of the Caribbean but instead of taking to the sea it was highway robbery! The action sequences are so fun, the villains are nuanced (particularly the villainess) the comedy isn't overbearing (like I forgot I was watching a Disney show tbh) and the silly towel boy from Ted Lasso is here! I personally had fun. I hope it's renewed.

7. Alice in Wonderland/Through the Looking Glass

7/10 (i love these so much so it's 8/10 for me)

It sucks that Depp is in this, but I can never ever forsake my girl Mia Wasikowska. I just love these movies. I love the design, the music, the costumes, the irreverence toward marriage and romance, Alice's personality and relationship with her mother, how it tackles the pathologisation of female autonomy, the performances, etc. The books are one of my favorite books of all time so there's that.

8. Maleficent

7/10

I really loved the performances in this, the metaphor for rape, the satisfying revenge. I don't mind that it was cliché. I love Maleficent movies. AND the Lana Del Ray cover for "Once Upon A Dream." Also, the first one makes me tear up every time. The mother-daughter love is just so touching to me.

9. Warrior Nun

(?/10)

I love the premise of this show and I can get behind the characters. The protagonist just annoyed me so much so often I have taken multiple breaks and can't remember the story. I am all for imperfect, asshole girl characters. But this protagonist was just whiny and careless beyond reason. And it was taking too long for her to get with the nuns. Like I was not invested enough in her running away arc. Like sis get your ass to the coven you are not that main of a character!

She took up so much screentime when literally every other character in the show was more interesting than she was.

At least there's lesbians.

10. Snow White & The Huntsman

(8/10)

What can I say? Kristen Stewart was hot in this, as was stepmother. Effects? Stellar. Direction? Stellar. Performance? Mostly stellar. Drama? Action? Magic? All there. Thoroughly entertaining. Refreshingly anti-Disney. Unfortunately there are some annoying men involved (I'm talking about the dwarves of course) but it never gets too overbearing. This is, however, the least feminist of the entire list and scores lowest on the above common themes.

[aebi12]

"Resentment" - Chapter 26 [AemondxRhaena]

Summary

He is the cause of her sufferings. He took her dragon, her betrothed, and her father. Now, he will also take away her future by having to marry him.

With so much history and bad blood between Rhaena and Aemond, their forced union has everything to fail, except that the proximity will make them discover that perhaps they have more in common than it seems.

AU - the Greens win the war.

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8 - Chapter 9 - Chapter 10 - Chapter 11 - Chapter 12 - Chapter 13 - Chapter 14 - Chapter 15 - Chapter 16 - Chapter 17 - Chapter 18 - Chapter 19 - Chapter 20 - Chapter 21 - Chapter 22 - Chapter 23 - Chapter 24 - Chapter 25

Masterlist of my other works.

Read on AO3

Tags: enemies to lovers, slow burn, romance, angst, drama, eventual smut, hurt/comfort

Please remember that english is not my first language, so I'm sorry for the mistakes...

Disclaimer: these are not my characters, they belong to George R.R. Martin, HBO, etc. Only the plot of this fanfiction belongs to me.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

“I must say, I have missed your company, Princess Rhaena.”

“The feeling is mutual, my lady,” Lady Redwyne seems pleased with the reply, her smile spreading across her elderly face before she sips from her wine goblet. “I would have liked to meet you sooner, but my new duties take up most of my day.”

“Oh yes, I hear you have been visiting the city and frequenting the Flea Bottom.”

“Do you disapprove of my acts of charity to the poor?” she asks after observing the older woman’s expression.

“I think it is a bit much for a noble lady to have to do them herself,” she nods vehemently, “Surely you could limit yourself to ordering that the common people be properly cared for.”

Rhaena hides her smile as she sips from her own goblet, “I prefer to go myself and see that help reaches where it is needed. Besides, I like doing it. It makes me feel…” the girl cuts her words off quickly. Better to measure her words. While she does not distrust Lady Redwyne, it is preferable not to give too much of herself to the Courtiers, “I like to spend time with orphaned children. And I only follow the example of the Dowager Queen.”

“Mmm,” Lady Redwyne smirks, “I remember Queen Alicent when she was first married. A young girl with her head in the right place. Yes, I imagine she will be pleased that you follow in her footsteps. For as long as it is possible for you, of course.”

“What do you mean?”

“That once you have children, Princess, you will not have as much free time as you do now,” the old woman lets out a giggle, “I hope we have news on that matter soon. I would not want to go to meet the Stranger without having met the royal heir.”

Lady Redwyne’s words, though well-intentioned, leave a bitter feeling inside her. It has been weeks since Aemond has required her presence in his room. The few times they see each other in the Tower are usually just short seconds of awkward interactions. And, if she had any hopes of being with child after their wedding night, they had vanished a few days ago after she woke up to find droplets of blood on the sheets.

“The gods will surely grant us the delight of having you with us for many more years, my lady,” she replies politely.

“Not if the winter continues like this,” the old woman complains, demanding more wine from the maid, “My bones cannot bear it…”

Rhaena tunes out of the conversation.

With each passing day it is impossible not to feel more like a failure. Though she often told herself that she shouldn't have expected to maintain a close relationship with her husband, that it was unrealistic; that dreamy, idealistic part of her still held out hope that the prince would care a little more for her. That he would seek her company, whatever the form.

You are better off this way, she tells herself. Remember the promise you made to your sister.

Rhaena tries to think about the promise every day. Not just out of loyalty to her sister, but because she must remind herself that whatever she feels towards the prince, it is clearly not reciprocated. Aemond only sees her as a means to an end. Nothing more.

And maybe not even that.

If he doesn't seek her to produce an heir and doesn't want her as a companion, what purpose does she really serve? It is ridiculous to entertain such thoughts, she knows. She herself had reminded the prince that she was needed. That only she would give future children the legitimacy they need. Still... negative thoughts could resonate loudly in her mind from time to time. Perhaps, because of that, she has clung to her new duties with determination. Only then does she feel useful and feels that she contributes in some way.

“Where is Lady Westerling, by the way?”

The question brings her out of her thoughts, “Walking around the gardens, with my cousin Daeron.”

The betrothal, which had been announced a few days ago, had been received with approval by the Court. Supported by Marianne's father, they had begun to make wedding plans, although they would not take place until the weather improved.

Her friend was overjoyed and Rhaena was happy for her. Besides, unlike his older brother, Daeron sought out his future wife's company more often, and showered her with attention.

Lady Redwyne and the other women gathered there begin to talk about the wedding, and Rhaena tries to participate as much as she can before excusing herself and returning to the Tower.

A burning smell greets her as she enters her chambers, followed by screams from women. Confused, Rhaena moves quickly until she reaches her private chambers, where two maids are hugging each other and crying.

“What is happening?”

Rhaena looks from the women to the other end of the room, where a furious Morning struggles to get out of her cage while throwing out flames of dragon fire.

“Prince… princess…” one of the maids whimpers, “We just… we just wanted…”

Morning growls again and Rhaena sighs. Judging by the trays of raw meat lying at the maids’ feet, they had tried to reach out to feed her dragon. To no avail.

“Leave the food for Morning?”

Both of them nod. Rhaena approaches the tray, and when the women realize what she is trying to do, they snap out of their stupor and quickly pick up the meat.

“I will do it, you may leave,” she orders.

They look terribly relieved when they are finally able to leave the room.

When the door finally closes, the dragon stops growling and Rhaena slowly approaches her, comforting her with phrases in High Valyrian.

“I imagine you are lonely here too,” she whispers after letting her out of her cage, “But you should not be so harsh on the maids.”

Morning sniffs at the meat and scorches it with her fire before taking bites.

As Rhaena watches her feed, she notices how large she is. The cage, increasingly limiting for her, is not helping Morning cooperate.

“I will take some time to get you out of this room, I promise,” she says, “So you can fly free and…”

The dragon moves closer to her neck, and Rhaena suppresses a wince. Morning’s growing horns scrape her neck as she playfully tries to nuzzle her. Her weight continues to bother her as well, but she endures the sensation for several minutes until a draft of cold air blows through the open window, causing the dragon to fly into the fireplace, curling up next to the fire and growling again.

Sighing, she goes to the window, closing and locking it before leaving the room and going in search of the guards, whom she finds at the entrance to the Tower.

“I am going to give you some instructions that you must follow from now on.”

“Yes, princess.”

“No one, not even the maids, is to enter my private chamber if I am not present.”

“As you command, princess.”

“I need you to be vigilant about that,” she presses, “I do not want my dragon disturbed. If the maids need to clean, they will have to wait until I am present to do so and if…”

Rhaena stops talking as the guards bow, looking at someone behind her. When she turns, she is met by the tall figure of Aemond, who is looking at her with a mix of curiosity and confusion.

“What is the meaning of this?”

“Was I clear?” Rhaena ignores his question and looks back at the guards, who nod instantly, “Good.”

“Rhaena,” her name is spoken with his usual impatience.

“Cousin,” she greets, facing him again. Aemond raises his eyebrows, clearly waiting for an answer to his question. Rhaena bites the inside of her lip and simply holds his gaze for a few seconds, saying nothing.

“Is there something wrong?”

“Absolutely nothing. I was just giving the guards some instructions.”

“Regarding what?” The prince’s expression suddenly changes as he takes a few steps to her side, “Why are you bleeding?”

“I am not…” Rhaena is cut off when Aemond raises his hand and takes her by the chin, gently tilting her face to the side and exposing her neck.

“What happened?” Aemond’s tone of voice is low, but it conveys his obvious anger. His good eye flicks from her to the guards before returning to Rhaena, “I want to know what happened to you.”

“It is nothing, just a small cut,” she replies as she steps back, breaking free from his touch.

“Tell me what happened,” he demands and then says, “Call the maester. Have him come immediately.”

“Do not call him,” she orders in turn. The guard, who had started to move, stops, “There is no need to bother the maester over a trifle.”

“Let him judge that,” Aemond replies.

“Aemond,” Rhaena tries to sound as authoritative as he is, “I am fine. It is nothing. I can take of this for myself.”

The prince meets her gaze upon hearing it, and his expression -a mix of annoyance and concern that causes Rhaena’s heart to race for a moment- finally seems to relent. He nods and then says, “Come with me.”

Rhaena berates herself for feeling that glimmer of hope at his words. She doesn’t want to feel so eager to follow him, to stay a moment by his side, but she can’t help herself. So, she follows him to the room where he usually takes care of his daily chores.

“How did you get that cut?” he asks as soon as they are alone

“It was Morning,” she replies with a sigh, “She didn’t mean to do it, she is just growing and getting stronger. She probably didn’t notice that she hurt me. I didn’t even notice.”

Aemond makes a grimace with his lips as he listens to her. Rhaena goes to say something else, but he reaches for his doublet, where he pulls out a handkerchief that he holds out in her direction.

“Thank you,” Rhaena takes it in her hands and, before putting it around her neck, she looks at his initials on it. It is one of the ones she embroidered for him. The idea of ​​him wearing them, perhaps daily, brings an involuntary little smile to her lips.

“Does your dragon have anything to do with you giving instructions to the guards?”

“Yes,” she nods as she wipes her collar with the soft linen, applying pressure, “The maids are afraid to get close to Morning, and she doesn’t seem to like the maids either. I found them screaming in a corner of my room, totally terrified of my dragon, although she remained in her cage”

“I can bring new maids, if you prefer”

“No, no, it is not necessary,” she replies quickly while removing the handkerchief, fleetingly observing the drops of blood on it, “It would not be fair to the ones we have. They just… I know it can be complicated, not everyone can get close to a dragon”

“So that is why you ordered the guards…”

“Not to let anyone into my chambers unless I am present,” Rhaena finishes, “I don’t want them to disturb Morning.”

“Mmm,” Aemond purses his lips once more and stares at her intently.

Rhaena knows her cousin has an opinion when it comes to her dragon’s presence in the Tower, so she challenges him with her gaze, wanting to know if he’s going to voice it again despite knowing the princess’s position on the matter.

“And I assume you will feed her yourself in the meantime?”

“I will.”

“You will be going back and forth to the Tower several times a day?” he asks sarcastically, “Don’t you think it would be easier…?”

“I don’t mind doing so,” she points out.

Aemond looks like he wants to push for a moment, but ultimately just sighs, “Very well, if that is what you prefer.”

Rhaena nods and an awkward silence stretches between them for a moment.

“What are you doing here anyway?”

“I work and live here,” the prince replies, raising his eyebrows.

“I mean, what are you doing back in the Tower at this hour?” she explains, “The sun is still shining in the sky. You don’t usually return until well into the evening.” Her words, which she tries to express in an ordinary tone, contain a hint of reproach.

Aemond feels a pang of guilt inside him, but he suppresses it and pulls a piece of parchment from his doublet pocket, “We received a letter from Driftmark.”

“From my sister?”

Rhaena takes a few steps towards him with her hand outstretched, Aemond hands her the scroll, the seal already broken, “Why didn’t I receive it directly?”

“Because it is not addressed to you.”

Rhaena frowns and opens the scroll, quickly reading the message. Aemond was right. The letter had been addressed to the Royal Council informing them that…

“My sister is already married to Allyn.”

The news takes her by surprise more than she expects. Her hands, suddenly shaking, crumple the piece of parchment and her eyes begin to sting.

“They wanted to share the happy news with the king,” the prince answers nonchalantly. Rhaena just nods.

Her sister had gotten married. And she knew she would, but she didn’t expect it to be so quickly. Or that Baela wouldn’t even let her know through a letter. Or that…

“You seem upset by the news.”

The girl looks up at Aemond, who stares at her with open curiosity.

“I am not upset.”

“You seem so.”

“No, no, far from it, I am happy for her,” she answers so quickly that her words sound rushed, “I am. I just wish…” her voice breaks off.

Aemond watches her lower her head once more, his stomach churning with a mix of worry and anger at Rhaena’s obvious sadness. He shouldn’t push for answers. He knows he shouldn’t. But he wants to know what’s bothering her so much. “Speak,” he orders, though it sounds more like a request with how low his voice is.

Rhaena fiddles with her rings before doing so, “I wish I could have been there for the wedding. I always thought we’d be standing next to each other when we got married,” the girl watches Aemond’s expression, hoping to find a hint of mockery, but finds none, “It is silly, I know.”

“It is not.”

Yes, it is. He thinks. Weddings are just formal ceremonies with no real appeal. He hadn’t particularly enjoyed Helaena and Aegon’s.

Rhaena’s lips part in surprise. “I… uh… it doesn’t matter anyway. I know I wouldn't have been able to attend, I know my life is here now and I most likely won't be allowed to leave the Fortress”

“I would have let you go”

The words are out of his mouth before he can really think about it. Even though he knows it’s a lie. That Rhaena is right in thinking she wouldn’t have been able to attend, he’d rather not agree with her. He’d rather lie to her and make her feel better. Or look better in her eyes.

“You would?”

“I would have sent you with Daeron and Tessarion.”

Another lie.

But the genuine smile his words elicit from Rhaena keeps him from feeling too bad about it.

“Thank you, Aemond. Knowing that… means a lot to me,” she sighs, then, after biting her lower lip for a moment, adds, “Though it wouldn’t have done any good because, clearly, my sister didn’t want me there.”

“Is that what you think?”

“What else can I think? She didn’t write to tell me about the betrothal, nor did she mention the wedding taking place so soon in her last letter. What would you think if Daeron did something like that to you?”

“Mmm,” so that was really what was bothering him. Not the wedding, but having been, once again, ignored by her twin.

“Maybe I am being unfair,” she sighs, “Maybe I am just being too emotional about this. After all, I already knew they were getting married, didn’t I? There’s not much point in telling me more considering she surely thought I wouldn’t be allowed to attend,” Rhaena continues, unable to stop, “Yes, that must be it. Baela… surely… she will explain her reasons to me in the next letter”

“Or maybe she simply didn’t want to be overshadowed at her wedding.”

“Overshadowed?”

“By the presence of the most important lady in the realm.”

Rhaena lets out a chuckle that wipes the melancholic expression off her face, “That doesn’t make any sense!”

“I think it makes a lot of sense,” Aemond smirks, pleased to see her more cheerful, “Surely the nobles of Driftmark would have been more impressed with you than the bride.”

“They wouldn’t have to,” she replies, “And I don’t think Baela cares too much about that.”

“You know she does,” Aemond shakes his head, “It was pretty clear when she was here that she would have preferred to have your place under other circumstances. You know I’m telling the truth,” he points out when she tries to interrupt, “By your side, your sister feels diminished. And, she was probably used to it being the other way around.”

Rhaena nods mechanically, “All the attention used to be hers.”

“And now it’s yours. Lady of the Red Keep, while she barely has a small island to look after”

“You make my position sound much more important than it is”

“Your responsibilities are much greater than Baela's, you know that well”

“She doesn't care what I do here”

“Because she lacks the ability to flourish at Court the way you do,” once again his words flow out without him being able to contain them, “You are clever, bold, and…”

Rhaena seems caught up in his words, as if drinking in every compliment he says. Without thinking much, he takes a few steps towards her, getting closer and closer. Feeling, once again, her perfume overwhelming him.

“You are capable of being of great help to the crown.”

“Still, I would trade all that for another chance to spend time with my sister.”

Aemond doesn’t take her comment well. He doesn’t like the ease with which Rhaena chooses Baela over her current life. Over him. Which is irrational, he knows, but still…

Rhaena knows she has annoyed him with her answer. She notices it in the bitterness in his expression. Although she doesn’t quite understand why it would bother him to hear her say that when all he does is ignoring her. Her hand automatically rises to place on the prince’s arm, but before she can do so, he speaks again.

“I need your assistance with a matter.”

“Oh,” Rhaena clears her throat and drops her hand, interlacing it with her other free hand, “What matter?”

“The High Septon intends to build a sept outside the city, in one of the most fertile farming areas of the Crownlands. I need you to dissuade him from that idea.”

“If they are part of the Crownlands, why does the septon have access to them?”

“My father gave them to him during his reign,” Aemond rolls his good eye, “I want to take them back into our custody and use them. These resources should directly benefit us, not the Faith.”

“I assume you send me because you wish to apply a more… subtle method rather than force.”

“It is good to have the Faith on our side,” he nods, “But without giving them too much freedom. Request a meeting with the High Septon. Offer him something he might want in return. Something he wants that won’t put us in a compromising position.”

“I’ll think of something that might work.”

“The High Septon likes you. I trust you can do it.”

The smile returns to Rhaena’s lips. “Do you trust me?” Aemond doesn’t answer, he just tilts his face to the side and the girl’s smile widens, “Thank you, Aemond. It means a lot to me.”

That brings him back to face her. The prince’s expression, lacking his usual frown or coldness, is instead oddly soft. “I wanted to thank you for taking care of Marianne’s situation as well.”

“I told you I would.”

“I know,” she whispers, and, emboldened by the closeness and the way he’s looking at her, with that intensity from their first nights, she places her hand on his face, “I really appreciate you doing it.”

Aemond closes his eye at her touch and Rhaena traces his cheek with her thumb, moving down to his jaw and reaching the corner of his lips. The prince shudders, and his breathing starts to come out ragged.

“I should… I have to go to…”

Aemond suddenly opens his eye and steps back.

Rhaena tries not to feel so disappointed at losing contact, “Of course.”

“You should go.”

She just nods and turns her back on him, walking to the door. As her hand closes on the doorknob, she turns and sees the prince staring at her.

He wants to ask her to stay. She is sure he wants to ask her to stay, but even though they look at each other for a few seconds, he ends up looking down.

And she opens the door and leaves him alone.

***

His mother is waiting for him outside Aegon’s chamber.

“Aemond, I need to speak with you.”

“If it is about Daeron’s wedding, then you arrange as you see fit.”

“It is not about the wedding. It is about the fact that you have given Lady Rhaena the freedom to deal with matters of the Crown.”

Aemond stops in his tracks and his mother, lagging behind him, almost runs into his back, “I do not understand.”

“Neither do I. It was a lack of judgment on your part,” she replies in an exasperated voice.

“Mother…”

“She is a noble lady. She should not be dealing with financial matters and alliances.”

“You did,” he retorts, “In fact, it was you who handed over your responsibilities to her not long ago.”

“I passed over the charitable work I was handling to her. Matters of little consequence to keep her busy.”

“Matters she has performed efficiently.”

“That does not change the fact that she should not be meddling in the running of the kingdom. Frankly, Aemond, I am surprised that you would entrust her with something as important as this.”

“It is merely a barter with the High Septon.”

“It is the Crown’s relationship with the Faith.”

“You are always saying that Rhaena knows how to function socially. It seemed appropriate to give her this task,” Alicent does not respond immediately, simply observing him, as if trying to decipher something in him. Her scrutiny is so annoying, it forces him to look away, “Mother…”

“You cannot trust her.”

“She is my wife. A wife you insisted I take,” he retorts scathingly, “I did not want to marry her. But the council and you pushed me to. Ever since she came here you have told me I should be more attentive to her and now that I am you tell me I am acting wrongly. Honestly, mother, I do not understand.”

“I told you to pay attention to her and be polite to keep up appearances with the Court and because it was the right thing to do. Lady Rhaena came here because her blood is important, her name is needed. But you cannot trust her.”

“What exactly do you think Rhaena gains from all this? Do you think she and the High Septon will raise an army against Aegon?”

“No, of course not. But she is not one of us. Not yet. Not until she bears you a child,” at the mention of an heir, Aemond lowers his gaze, “Once she bears you a child, preferably a son, who is named heir to the throne, only then can you be sure she will be loyal to us. No mother would ever act against her own child.”

His mother’s words sound almost bitter. Aemond watches her eyes fill with something he can’t quite place, a melancholy he doesn’t quite understand. Though he can’t help but think that perhaps it’s because Alicent is speaking from her own experience when referring to the matter.

“Focus on your real work, Aemond. Summon her to your chambers and produce an heir as soon as possible,” she orders. “Afterward you can, if you wish, get closer to your wife.”

“I’m not too concerned with that.”

“Are you not?” His mother steps up to him, placing her hands over his and staring at him, “Do not act so lightly. Do not let her will win over yours. You are a prince. Act with the dignity of one.”

His mother leaves his side and Aemond is left alone with his thoughts, walking automatically until he reaches the courtyard of the fortress and orders his horse to be brought to him.

Vhagar is awake and hears him approach, growling at the sight of him and covering him with her warm breath as he comes closer to caress her tanned skin. The prince lies down on her, matching his breathing to the heavy one of his dragon.

He tries to tell himself that Alicent's words are meaningless, but he knows that they are not.

His mother has done nothing more than verbalize the fears he feels. His fear of letting himself be carried away by what he feels towards Rhaena. Hadn't he already started to do so? Wasn't it because of the weakness he felt for his wife that he had offered to take part in the affairs of the kingdom? He hadn't been able to bear seeing her so defeated, so hurt by her twin's attitude. He had had to do something to make her the smiling Rhaena she always was.

But that was dangerous. Even his mother knew that.

Vhagar roars, perhaps sensing his inner conflict, and Aemond closes his eye and wishes to soar through the skies with her again. Though it is nearly impossible now.

The prince stays with her until she falls asleep again, then returns to the Tower of the Hand. As he enters his room and takes a bath, he repeats his mother's words once more.

An heir. That is what is expected of him. Of him and Rhaena.

Not a relationship, not a union beyond one that produces a male child. He cannot wish for anything more. He does not want to wish for anything more, even if his heart says otherwise.

He cannot have Rhaena completely. But, at least he can have her in his nights. So, he calls one of the maids and orders her to summon his wife.

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[ele-sme]

False alarm

It was Spider first sleepover at the sully's. He was so much excited, but more then him, his three best friends. Neteyam had to beg for months and Lo'ak acted as a good kid for weeks, Kiri taked care of Tuk alone. Only for one sleepover with him.

When the night came they were all shaking from excitement.

Neytiri, was cooking some human friendly food and Jake was careful that any of the non friendly food would have dropped by 'mistake' in the preparation. The kids were playing, Kiri and Spider with Baby Tuk, Lo'ak and Neteyam with a toruk toy, the only thing in common? They were all close, sitting next to eachother.

"Kiri, this is not a way of holding a baby!" Spider telled her, the female kid was holding the little one by the arms and not by under them.

"What do you know about it?" She asked imitating her friend voice.

"Last year, Nash and Mary had a baby and they maked me learn how to hold him, feed him and change him." He said, a pride tone in his voice as the others looked at him, he could do something they couldn't.

Jake did not shared the pride.

"What do you mean bud?" Jake asked Spider meanwhile chopping some vegetables.

"I mean that I'm in charge of the baby when I'm at hell gates" he explained, that pride still there like it was the most cool thing in the word. He was meanwhile rocking Tuk who felled asleep in his arms.

"You Bearley eight you shouldn't be in charge of another kid" Jake tried to explain.

"I'm nine!" The child corrected the other

"Still you shouldn't" The adult replicated.

"It's okay i make them happy by doing this." The other said, Neytiri picked up Tuk from his arms, and as she seated by her self to make the baby eat she watched her mate with a sad face, she understood what they were doing to that poor child, and even if she didn't like him she couldn't deny the crudelty the child was facing.

After there were silence from the adults, the kids otherwise were still playing, now that Tuk wasn't with them they were all playing with only a toruk toy.

When dinner was ready they all seated in a circle and after a pray they started to eat.

"Do you know why a chicken crosses the road?" Jake asked, all the presents looking at him confused.

"What a chicken mr Sully?" Spider asked, making the other kids laughing and Neytiri giggle.

"A chicken is a animal on earth" he tried to explain, but the laugh of his dear ones got the best of him making him laugh too.

They obviously had no idea of what a chicken was.

"How the story ends?" Kiri asked after her laughing.

"It's a joke not a story, and it end with the chicken wanting to go to the other side" jake explained still laughing

"I don't understand" kiri explained.

"It's simple: why does a chicken wants to go across the street? because they wanted to go the other way" Spider explained.

"Ohh now i understand" the girl replicated.

Jake maked a sweet smile at the two of them.

"Spider, you like Kiri very much don't you?" Jake asked the human child.

"Yea she is my platonic soulmate" he telled him, a innocent tone, a innocent voice a child voice.

"What is a platonic soulmate?" Lo'ak asked

"A platonic soulmate is a feeling of deep connection and understanding, without the romance. Consequently, platonic soulmates offer each other a soul connection that goes beyond feelings of friendship but don't go romantic ones" Kiri explained, with her big words that maked Lo'ak confuse.

"For dumb people: it is a connection similar to a connection between mate and mate but they are only friends" Spider tried to explain with simpler words

"I want to be Spider platonic soulmate too" Neteyam said

Kiri grabbed Spider arm and hugged it.

"Nah-ah, he is only mine soulmate!"

The dinner went on, some more chatting, jokes and some songcords singed together.

It was now time to sleep, all the kids close to eachother, meanwhile the parents and baby sleeped to another side of the room.

It was deep night when Spider eared the sound.

He opended his eyes, and a second later Neteyam who was close to him open them too, they stared at eachother for some seconds, watching eachother in they own big eyes. Then Lo'ak ruined everything by getting up too and Kiri followed.

They seated up, ears up for listening, the parents up too, listening too.

The sound came again.

"I'm going to check, you stay here" Jake tolded his mate getting up "Neytiri all the kids" he exclaimed picking up his bow.

With a nod Neytiri gotten close to all the children and gave to Kiri the baby. Kiri gave her to Spider and he rocked her.

"Mom what is it? Why dad is out?" Lo'ak asked, his mother taking him in her arms.

"Oh great mother please don't tell me they came back" she whispered a pray. After she looked at the human child. Maybe thinking if she should have jumped on him or not.

In the end she didn't.

Jake came back some minutes later announcing it was nothing.

A gasp of relief exited Spider mouth.

[seraphicsimmer]

[Pictured: The Landgraab-Goths... or is it the Goth-Landgraabs?

Not pictured: Johnny ”Zest” and family, Alexander Goth and family. Grab some popcorn, the lore is wild.] ____________________________________________

Geoffrey Landgraab – The ever-so-charming Southern gentleman who plays the real estate game like Monopoly. Geoffrey’s docile demeanor hides a cutthroat landshark mentality. He’ll snatch up your property before you’ve even had a chance to flip through the latest Vogue. How a genteel man like Geoffrey ended up with his platinum[card] blonde is anyone’s guess.

౨ৎ

Nancy Landgraab – The powerhouse (pun intended) behind Landgraab Power. Whether she’s in the spotlight or not, Nancy’s gaze is omnipresent, especially when it comes to the Goths. Her distaste for Bella Goth is no secret, but the reasons remain as shadowy as her business dealings. Nancy managed to bend Cassandra to her will—who do you think persuaded her to drop her maiden name? Now, her sharp jade eyes are set on her granddaughter, who seems to be her very clone. Is she on the inside too?

౨ৎ

Malcolm Landgraab – A man torn between his mother’s ruthless ambitions and his father’s honest work ethic. Malcolm’s life has been a tug-of-war between power and virtue, shaped by summers at Osteer Ranch and lessons in cutting-edge business. His romance with Cassandra brought a brief respite from the shadows, but their daughter Priscilla’s arrival changed everything. Malcolm’s recent career move puts him right under Nancy’s thumb—now, which empire is he really preparing to inherit?

౨ৎ

Priscilla Landgraab – Welcome to Sim City, little Landgraab. I’ve had my eye on you for quite some time. Overprotective Cassandra vowed not to let her daughter grow up as isolated as she did, so she’s been hovering over every detail of Priscilla’s life. But here’s the million-simoleon question: what’s worse—being tossed to the wolves or raised under a microscope? Something tells me Cassandra and Priscilla might not see eye to eye on this one. Priscilla may have been raised in the shadows of Sim City's elite, but she’s wrapped in more mystery than her designer wardrobe. And believe me, the intrigue is only beginning. There’s nothing quite like watching a sheltered socialite take center stage. Will she crack under the pressure or rise to the occasion? My guess? This little Landgraab is facing a choice, much like her dear daddy, Malcolm, once did.

౨ৎ

Cassandra Landgraab – Oh, Cassandra. There’s no tale quite as tragic as that of our resident gloomy girl. Raised by a father who indulged her artistic soul and a mother who loved her... from a safe distance, Cassandra had all the solitude and inspiration to become the musician she always dreamed of being. But music doesn’t pay the bills. Isn’t that right, Nancy? After graduating from Britechester University, Cassandra was swept up in the Landgraab empire. Now she plays the role of their financial advisor... or so they let her think. On weekends, you might catch a glimpse of her sulking in the back row of a symphony orchestra, drowning her sorrows in violins. That is if Geoffrey decides to let her out. Poor Cass, always playing second fiddle in more ways than one.

౨ৎ

Mortimer Goth – Famous gallerist, better known for marrying up. Some say Mortimer Goth has it all: a high-paying job that lets him curate his passion, two picture-perfect children, and a smoking hot wife with a past as mysterious as her present. Maybe the Landgraabs and Goths have more in common than we think—like the fact that both families’ matriarchs run the show. Even Bella, who disappears more often than a limited-edition Fabergé egg. But is Mortimer truly happy, or has he learned to keep his questions to himself? After all, ignorance is bliss, right? Something tells me dear Cassandra didn’t quite get that life lesson from daddy dearest.

౨ৎ

Bella Goth – The ever-enigmatic Bella Goth, Sim City’s very own Mona Lisa with secrets behind that famous smile. Once a model and forever a mystery, Bella Bachelo traded in the runway for a life of high society as Bella Goth. And let’s just say, the intrigue hasn’t stopped since. But while Mortimer lives in his art-filled bliss, Bella’s not just playing house—she’s playing a much bigger game. Always jetting off on one "business trip" after another, you have to wonder what’s really keeping her away. Of course, it’s all very hush-hush. But with her sharp mind and sultry charm, it’s clear Bella isn’t just a pretty face at fancy galas. Whatever she’s up to, one thing’s for sure: she’s definitely not on Nancy Landgraab’s guest list. Nancy may control half of Sim City’s power grid, but Bella? She’s always two steps ahead. The real question is, how long can she keep everyone guessing?

You know you love me! XOXO, Sim Snitch.

[silviakundera]

The Spirealm episode 5 reaction

Using the new 38 episode configuration.

(this is a spoiler zone - I read the novel and will reference it, with full book storyline spoilers)

The creepy daughters birthday party! Wheeee I enjoyed this door in the novel.

Have they eliminated the option of winning automatically by being the lone survivor? I feel like that rule was revealed by this point in the novel. I hope it's not gone because it provided more justification for other players to have secret agendas and the risk of being manipulated as part of someone else's long game. One thing the novel did well was set up paranoia & subterfuge as being the only smart response to navigating through the cases. (Also the rule that the monster will only eat so many at a time before getting full, so you can trick others into being sacrifices to increase your personal odds... and then how that common strategy backfires on a case at the very end!)

Both in the novel and the drama I am amused by how obviously the contrast is between Ruan Nanzhu's treatment of his pretty actress client and Lin Quishi. From dodging rooming with her to jerking away from her attempts to get close, while constantly being approachable & touchy towards LQ. Especially funny because that poor girl is just terrified & wants guidence. (omgggg all her sleeping on the floor scenes from the novel 😭😂 )

The chemistry is chemistrying.

If I'm being honest, the romance plotline is working for me so far in a way that the novel wasn't quite hitting at this juncture. It's just personal taste on these things, but so far I prefer drama!Ruan Nanzhu's subtle flirtations and angling to increase intimacy... and I do think a lot of it is in both actors' performances. I feel a wry warmth from Lin Quishi, like he's secretly quietly delighted to be singled out for this attention and though he doesn't know what to do with it, and keeps soft-probing on why it's happening to him, why him? ...he doesn't want it to stop. And through the drama's more omniscient POV, we witness a bit more vulnerability and affection from Ruan Nanzhu when in the novel you had to read between the lines within what Lin Quishi was experiencing.

The Lin Quishi foolproof ghost defeating action plan of 🙈🙉🙊 strikes again.

Then Ruan Nanzhu pop up in an appropriately romance ML move to block LQ from being smacked around by a fail player. [see gif set]

"I told you not to be a good man. Come back with me."

Still love the display of how crafty RN is, to not only identity the importance of the triplets name but also set up a trick to name them.

Looking forward to him outsmarting the agents from X.

LMAO the comparision shot of Tan Zaozao anxiously sitting hunched over her clutched egg vs chill Ruan Nanzhu leaning vs Lan Quishi casually tossing & catching his.

Exhibit A: Alone with room to themselves: sit on the bed side by side, why lean or walk & talk

Exhibit B:

The way the tone is completely different whenever these 2 can section themselves off alone or to the side, HELLO THERE 👁👄👁

Anyway, we end on suspense! Trapped in a room and dependant on their hapless client. then a taboo crack in the egg! *gasp*

Next Episode

[thattotalloserrain]

Terms in this post

Adoptive - The person that was adopted into the family

Adopted - The person who adopted a person into the family

As I notice new fans continue to enter the TMNT fandom, (or people are starting to talk about it more) I’m going to talk about 2012 especially because a lot of people are missing the points of writing flaws, and people are arguing for the wrong points and defending very problematic relationship issues.

I’ve came across this post, and it was really… concerning. I’m not gonna name them, or point them out, (And I can’t find the post, so I don’t know if it was deleted or not) but if you know what I’m referring to then just be respectful, I don’t mean any disrespect either because at the end of the day… It’s a cartoon, and we can still enjoy things while there’s still questioning things about it. The only harm that may come to conversations like these is because it can be very serious in real life. Yet, I find it strange how people are defending the wrong things for the same problem: the writing.

Let’s paint the picture.

The turtles are just now starting to go out to the surface, and with Leo’s situation, he ends up fighting a girl from the Foot. Romance is in the air, and he definitely falls in love with her. He never met her in his life, but he knew that he was the daughter of his fathers enemy- his adopted brother. (Let’s keep the adopted part in mind for later) So they already knew she was related in some way, blood or not.

Okay this is fine, it’s normal, and it’s trop that writers like to do- good guy falls in love with bad guy- it’s great. Until…

Now, Splinter has to tell Leo something after he also discovered it. His new born daughter that he thought perished that same night he lost his wife , and that so happened to be the girl Leo was fighting with. (And falling for) Is alive.

My 11 year old self at the time when he told that, made me widen my eyes.

I want to point out that TMNT 2012 is my favorite, and always will be. But that doesn’t mean I won’t point its serious flaws that the writers have done. For example,

Writing Donnie to be a stalker, (He is. There’s no argument about it. Following a girl, and getting caught after being told NOT to, is stalking behavior! Even when there’s good thought behind it! Poor Donnie doesn’t deserve to be written like that, though.) But as soon as we see that character development be “Yeah, I shouldn’t do that. I will stop.” The same girl she falls for is like “NAH, it’s okay because you’re my mutant~! Doesn’t help anything either.

Having Donnie, April, and Casey in this weirdest love triangle ever. (She tells both of them that she needs space at some point, but whenever they DO, she does something that makes that behavior more acceptable at that time. She goes back and forth between them clearly. And again it’s not April’s fault when she has bad writers)

We have Mikey that’s just doing his thing but ends up having something between Renet (whom isn’t born yet, but what the shell, at this point it fits the writing themes beautifully.) and Shinigami (Who wouldn’t, she is literally so hot.)

Now, I KNOW people are going to smite me for this but it’s only fair I still point things out in one of the best ships of the show so I can try to remain as unbiased as possible- Raph meets an alien in space. No questions between if they’re even equivalent to the same age or near, and already starts making out with her only within an episode (perhaps a few days) Kind of just like how Donnie also did with falling for April.

And we don’t see much with Yoshi having a relationship with Tang Shen until season 4, because she’s literally dead, and we haven’t seen any other interaction with her besides Splinter standing ground to his loyalty of his clan.

Do we see the similarities of why these writing flaws is happening? Do you see what they are common with?

They’re all relationships. The entire shows writing flaws, nearly every single one has to do something with relationships.

Every. Single. One.

The writers wanted to put romance into it, and failed miserably.

If you’re still reading this, congrats. I’m not done yet.

I feel as if I need to put some of my life experience into this to hope you all see the point I’m trying to make, and I know people that may have experienced similarly, that they still could have very different opinions to my own.

I’m adopted. And I only found that out when I became a teenager. Just as Karai has. I was lied to over and over and OVER again until I was finally told.

I’m not going to label Leorai something to extreme, but the ways people are defending it, is almost making it look like they know it is at some way, and are trying so hard to make it look like it’s completely fine, and you know what I’m talking about if you’re still reading this post, or you’re catching on to what I’m saying, I’ll make it very short and simple. And it’s really gross and scary how people think it’s okay.

Leo, and the rest of the turtles is related to Karai. Being a sister, or not. If they truly can’t be siblings, they are at least cousins, if we’re going to argue about how they weren’t raised together at all which… doesn’t make someone not related to someone.

And it was established that they both have romantic feelings for each other.

An argument that I saw was that the turtles aren’t technically adopted, or shares any DNA with Karai. (And honestly perhaps not, but we literally can’t rule anything out because we don’t have anything like mutagen in OUR world, so we can’t even argue anything about science because guys, come on… They’re four giant human turtles, and then there’s a literal trash mutant, so I don’t think we can say we’re experts on how mutagen works in this world or not.) So therefor, Leorai doesn’t count as (insert extreme label) And Splinter is also a harsh teacher, so Therefor- they aren’t his sons in any way because he can’t legally make them his sons. What?

Splinter is a mutated rat, and he may have just bot four baby turtles as a human, having no idea what is about to happen. Where is he going to go to the city, and find someone who would let him adopt four mutant turtles, to be his legally, official sons that he loves so much? Are we kidding? We’re going degrade the way that Splinter died and Mikey literally cried out “Papa.” And the thousands of times he calls them his sons and they their father and teacher? Fathers and mothers ARE our life teachers. And splinter KNOWS, that if NONE of them can defend, or fight for themselves, they would be killed easily from the harsh world. Of course his teachings will see VERY harsh. But he is literally preparing them for the worst, because he knows it can happen because he experienced it when he lost his wife to his adopted brother. And comparing to his brother, his brother literally kidnapped his daughter after murdering her mother and attempted murder of his adoptive brother! Why are we saying it’s okay for this heartless man to have the right to have Karai when Splinter can’t even do anything legally because he’ll get killed just from being a mutant?

Why is this even a point to make it seem like Leorai is okay or not? It literally makes no sense to use this as a reason why it is or shouldn’t, it has nothing to relate to it whatsoever. And at the end of the day, this entires shows romantic relationships isn’t okay. It’s just degrading a good father, and praising a horrible one for doing the ‘legal’ and ‘better’ thing??

Okay, another point that I saw was that none of the turtles weren’t raised or even knew Karai to begin with. That is true. They didn’t know she existed; and when they met her, they all didn’t know how she was related to them either way. Until they knew that Karai was Shredder’s daughter, then they definitely knew that the could be in some way. But like… if I find a sibling out there, adoptive, blood or not, I would back the heck out. It’s not the 1800’s where it’s fine to marry your cousin or aunt/uncle. And apart if the argument is that they can’t help their feelings or change them in anyway. (Pardon my language, but what the f*ck.)

Do you know who in the show was raised to be brothers, and ended up hating their guts, like literally? Splinter and Shredder. They changed they way they felt. And yes, it is more extreme comparing it to Leorai, but it’s also stupid not to point it out because it’s obvious.)

People are trying so hard to make it look like Leorai is fine in anyway, and it isn’t. It just plain isn’t. But again, the way people are defending (insert extreme label) They are still related. They. Are. Still. Related. Blood or not, they are. It is not okay to okay this behavior and or/writing that it is.

And people are defending this SO much they really believe and can say that it’s not (insert extreme label) because it only has to have two people be related by blood to make it (insert extreme label). Which isn’t the case, if someone is related to someone in anyway, then it is (inset extreme label.) and if you’re this person, your painting yourself as a person that is okay with in*st in anyway. I said what I said. If people can defend things like this, I can say my thoughts as well.

Get your head out of those sewer apples and GROW up. It’s fine to admit your wrongs and realize that things about your favorite show just isn’t okay. The writers wrote very problematic things, it’s the writers fault, and it’s okay to still like this specific show as a whole. Don’t let nostalgia make you look like you can also defend other problematic things.

Congrats; you made it to the end. Have a pizza 🍕

[cjbolan]

Things The Little Mermaid (2023) Did Better and Worse

*WARNING: SPOILERS*

Ariel and Eric having more in common, which makes their romance more believable and satisfying. They’re curious about each other’s worlds, both have their own collections, have an overprotective parent, and a manservant sent by said parent to constantly watch over them.

A more mutual prejudice between humans and merpeople, which makes the stakes higher for Ariel. It also helps validate Triton’s fear of humans, making him seem slightly less like a jerk.

URSULA. She’s so much scarier and manipulative here, yet still has moments of humor. I like how she’s the one to talk to Ariel in her destroyed grotto instead of her eels. Also like the possibility that Ursula’s tentacles have a mind of her own. And GOOD GOSH can she sing (it’s a shame Poor Unfortunate Souls was just her sing-talking instead of singing the whole thing from beginning to end).

 Ariel killing Ursula with the ship. Shows how Ariel’s fascination with the human world paid off. Had she not been exploring shipwrecks, watching humans from afar, and learning about humans from Scuttle, she likely wouldn’t know how to use a steering wheel.

Open-ended ending. Instead of a wedding, it ends with Ariel and Eric going off to explore “uncharted waters”. Which I honestly prefer since Ariel is only 15-16, Eric looks about the same age.

Triton verbally apologizes to Ariel. Given how much less these two communicate this time, it was nice to see Triton finally open up to Ariel. For better and for worse (more on that later), this Triton is a lot less emotional, which makes this scene for me especially cathartic and satisfying.

Ariel’s amnesia. It makes Ariel act a lot less rape-y towards Eric, if she forgets that she needs to kiss Eric. Granted it might be better if Ursula just never told Ariel she needed a kiss.

“Vanessa’s Trick”. This song sounds way better than its counterpart in the cartoon.

Nods to the original fairy tale. It opens with a quote from the original story, and even Scuttle asks “Did [Ariel] kill the prince?” XD. Also a bit of gore, where Ariel violently rips a scale from her tail to give Ursula, leaving a bloody mark.

The ending. On top of Triton apologizing to Ariel, I like that Ariel and Eric don’t rush into a wedding. They are only 15-16 after all. I think it’s a more fitting ending for Ariel and Eric to go do what these two both love: explore other worlds. Also liked the implication that Ariel will return to the merfolk for their Coral Moon celebration, showing she doesn’t have to abandon everything/everyone she knows just for a man. Will she turn back into a mermaid? Will she have to celebrate with the merfolk as a human?

CONS:

Flounder and Triton’s Resting Bitch Faces. Like many people I hate the Flounder redesign. I don’t care these animal characters looking “realistic”, I care only about them being expressive. Flounder is incapable of showing any emotion whatsoever, neither in his face nor his body language.Triton is the 2nd worst offender... At first I liked Triton’s more subtle acting, to capture his estranged father-daughter relations but in a new way. It fits with his portrayal of him as a grieving widower. There’s a few moments where his eyes tear up, where he gives a slight smile, I wanted more of that. And I hoped this would be build-up to emotionally opening up more by the end. But no, Triton wears his Resting Bitch Face for the ENTIRE movie, even when he’s supposed to be happy/relieved (I think?). Even after Ariel just defeated Ursula and saved him afterwards, he doesn't even smile or offer her a hug. Thankfully he eventually does in the last scene.

Flounder’s “singing”. Say what you will about Awkafina’s singing in “Scuttlebutt”, but at least she’s trying. She sounded better once Sebastian chimed in with her. Flounder’s flat notes in “Kiss the Girl” were just painful to hear.

Eric’s backstory. In this version he was adopted as a baby by the King and Queen, when they found him washed ashore after a shipwreck. Thought this would lead to a reveal of who his real parents were (maybe in a sequel?). Were his parents sailors? Did Eric’s real parents kill Ariel’s mom? Did King Triton kill Eric’s parents in revenge? This was just a huge missed opportunity that went nowhere. Honestly, even if he wasn’t adopted Eric would still confined by his royal duties and want to explore the seas, given how overprotective his mother clearly is. Wouldn’t it be better if the Queen was instead Eric’s stepmother? That would help break Disney’s stereotype of evil stepmothers.

Overall pretty decent! I give it a 4/5. I feel it initially just goes through the motions, until after “Poor Unfortunate Souls” when the movie goes off in a new direction.

[usuimisaki]

Why do I like reading shoujo so much?

My first reaction is to deflect. That’s how society is. Adults write and write sordid stories about teenagers all the time, a la Gossip Girl and Euphoria. Furthermore, we live in a man’s world, and men gobble up stuff which is ostensibly for boys: superheroes and their ilk. But when women fangirl over stuff ostensibly for girls we’re belittled for being juvenile.

Even if it’s not an unusual problem, it still begs the question why. Why is the world so preoccupied with youth to the point that they have characters who are literal minors? I’ve actually read and enjoyed multiple josei works, but they’ve never inspired the type of hyperfixation that shoujo manga has inspired. Josei and seinen are complex and messy. I accept that messiness. But with shoujo like KWMS and GSNK things are simpler. There’s more room to play. The characters, no matter how developed, are still literally undeveloped. This can inspire future fic of what the characters will be like as adults. It also makes them more malleable. High schoolers exist in a liminal space. They can go anywhere, be anything. They have choices and the freedom to take those choices in hand.

Adult manga (not sexually explicit, but dealing with adulthood) is about limits. The characters are getting old. They’re leaving dreams behind. They’re settling in their careers or accepting that their relationships aren’t ideal. They’re compromising—because reality. Besides romance and friends, they also have to deal with a job and taking care of their parents and/or taking care of kids. I love these kinds of stories because they are a mirror of my own life, or things that I can realistically imagine having to deal with.

My high school days are behind me, and I have to say, I didn’t enjoy them that much. The teenage dramas I read about are less a reminder of my high school days than a high school fantasy—one where school is more of a background than a concern and parents hardly even make an appearance.

Contrast this to office worker josei. Even the most sexually explicit manga where you’d think the office space is just a convenient setting always has some office drama which is ultimately about worker competency. Love is Hard for Otaku is mostly about dating and being an otaku, but fitting into office culture and being competent at your job is inseparable part of it as well.

KWMS is actually fairly complex for shoujo. It acknowledges that some students have financial difficulties and it has Misaki compete with Usui academically and studying for college entrance exams is a big plot line, but most of the time she’s more concerned about school council activities in a hyperbolic manner. And despite the series being about the contrast between being a school president and a maid, more of the storylines center on her part-time job at the maid cafe. She enters into a relationship with a rich foreigner with a tragic backstory which causes them to have to endure a long-distance relationship. But somehow they overcome all of that. And Misaki’s family’s dire financial straits get resolved even before she marries into the .01%.

GSNK though? Those kids must all be frickin’ rich. They never seem to have any concerns about having money to go out to a cafe, buy manga, or buy clothes. Kashima is the only one with a job, and she’s probably just working there because the cafe needs staff. There’s maybe one chapter where three not-so-great students try to study together with poor results—but since these students aren’t very academically focused, it’s just played off for laughs. The best student (Kashima) also has some of the least common sense. The one with the actual least common sense (Wakamatsu) is the second best student out of the cast. The only time we’ve seen parents are when it was played for laughs how Nozaki could live away from home because 1) he had his own money and 2) he knew how to cook, though he was lacking in 3) romantic experience.

Shoujo is about the possibility of love, and that when you do fall in love, that it’s going to last a lifetime. It’s about one true pairings.

Josei is about navigating new relationships with the scars of your previous relationships. One of my favorite josei series, Kimi was Petto, is all about that. It’s about the uncertainty that the relationship you’re in is good enough to stand the test of time, the realities of finances, career, social pressure, familial acceptance, and sense of self.

Shoujo hardly ever touches on those topics, preferring to create a love triangle for manufactured conflict. Again, KWMS is a bit of an exception. There’s definitely the love triangle aspect because you need to look at the different possibilities without, like, having had those other possibilities, but it does at least address class differences and different family culture and how that can lead to social pressure for college and career paths (which is why Usui goes to college in the UK and Misaki feels like she needs to get into a more competitive college). In the meantime, Tsubaki-sensei has acknowledged her fans’ wish for an endless summer, so that Hori will never graduate and go to college—which is kind of odd, considering that there’s a college so local that they work at the same cafe as Kashima. But still, if Hori were to be a college student, then he wouldn’t haunt the hallways of Roman Academy or be able to interact with Kashima in drama club.

So let’s get to the gist of it. Why do I write smut with high school characters? Well, I love these characters. And they’re in high school. And I’m a sucker for canon. So it makes sense to set these sex scenes in high school. It’s not that I’ve never aged up these characters, but when I do I run into problems, like the fact that Misaki and Usui don’t live in same country. Or that Hori and Kashima are actually dealing with some actual drama about their future careers and how to define a relationship. Or they have kids, which are a huge impediment to having sex.

I recently read about centering lives around friendship instead of romantic relationships, and what it is that creates barriers for friendships, platonic or not. You need to have time and a shared space and touch. Two of the three are really easy to come by in school, where you don’t just spend 8 hours a day kind of goofing off on your parents’ dime, but you also live close together. Not to dismiss the huge pressure some students have to study and get into an elite college, but you do have more free time on your hands as a student, just because you don’t have to spend that time paying bills or cleaning your own house. I really don’t know how Nozaki does it.

[1cindyschineselitblog]

Reflections on a Year of Reading Chinese Literature

Titles Read

The Corpse Walker by Liao Yiwu

Peony in Love by Lisa See

Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng

Strange Beasts of China by Yan Ge

Out of the three countries that I had chosen, the last one was on a whim: China. At first, I didn’t know what to expect because I didn’t know much about China other than its conservative traditions and its one-birth rule. Obviously, I haven’t read every book, but I think I’m allowed to say that a lot of the historical fiction books that involve romance are where one of the main love interests is a ghost. Maybe it’s just me, but that’s a common theme I’ve seen so far. Also, a lot of Chinese books have the most gut-wrenching plot twists, it makes me so… frustrated. But I learned that foot binding is very important in China’s history: having small feet; people used to powder their feet too? For the most part, the families in these books were conservative and didn’t really let the girls interact with boys. This was more of a burden than anything because the girls ended up dying due to naivety. The main element that I saw between the four books were broken families. This could either mean a family is broken internally or that a family would break. Not only that but misunderstandings could be more detrimental than what you see on the surface.

From Liao Yiwu’s nonfiction book The Corpse Walker: it’s common knowledge that the government can become corrupt under certain individuals. But the fact that one person can change the attitude of so many people just by saying a few words is crazy. Chairman Mao’s reign was just one huge dictatorship that made peasants feel as if they had power. Power can turn a “good person” into a hungry and ruthless beast. It didn’t matter if you had done well for a person. As long as one was poor and the other was rich, the poor would publicly beat and humiliate the other party.

Lisa See’s historical fiction book Peony in Love: proves that curiosity killed a cat, but that ignorance isn’t always bliss. Peony, the main character, is a naive girl who is sheltered so much to the point that she knows basically nothing about boys, the outside world, or even being a “normal person.”  Protective nature is good, but this type of parental behavior needs to be limited. The book proves that the most protective parents create the most rebellious children.

Celeste Ng’s novel Everything I Never Told You: in addition to the theme of child rebellion, Lydia is a prime example of the consequences of protective parents. But her parents were protective of her image. She was the golden child, the child who didn’t say no because she wanted to make her dad happy and didn’t want her mother to leave again. A family can only look so perfect on the outside until you really get to talk to the kids. Some parents don’t realize their impact on their kids even if it’s a small thing. 

Yan Ge’s contemporary fantasy book Strange Beasts of China: is one that I haven’t finished yet. But something that people don’t understand is that “just because you know someone, doesn’t mean you know all of them.” This may seem like common sense, but it’s really not. Even if you have a best friend or someone you’re super close to. There is no person in the entire world that will know you in and out. 

Before, I used to romanticize the idea of living in the old days. But I probably won’t survive with all the feet binding and the number of conservative views. I’d probably be accused of being possessed by a demon or something. What surprised me is that when I read, I often connect its history with something in our modern time. For example, foot binding and powdering them was seen as something for the husbands because they were pleased with small feet. It was normal then, but now it’s seen as weird so I’m intrigued about why it changed. I’ve also learned that I’ve very gullible when it comes to reading. I knew that there were plot twists, but I never saw them coming. Now I understand how important word choice is and how it creates a different type of scene to mislead you so that plot twists are more dramatic. 

[minetteskvareninova]

Minette watches Medici, part 11 (Obstacles And Opportunities)

- Look, I don’t mind episodes of this show having basic ass titles, but this one is... Just far bellow basic, if you know what I mean.

- A small, but still embarassing correction - there’s no Lucrezia M in this show so far, that was the other sister of Lorenzo the Magnificent, that was married off very young, which is presumably why she’s not in the show. Fahriye-sultan-but-lame is named Bianca.

- My suspicions about Lorenzo being the bestest, smartest, specialest little boy in the writers’ eyes were unfortunately not disproven in the slightest. For Lorenzo, nothing is a problem, he never makes big mistakes and has no major flaws. Like, his Gary Stu status becomes obvious trough comparison to Cosimo, who was allowed to make much bigger mistakes and lose much more badly, making for a more compelling character. And while there were hints of the Medici maintaining the moral high ground over their opponents, this season amps this up to a truly ridiculous degree. I mean, “making Florence a true republic” is an interesting way of putting “becoming a populist autocrat akin to Julius Caesar”.

- That said, I don’t hate the love triangle so far. Clarice and Lorenzo still have nothing in common and don’t even really know each other, but Lucrezia D’s “I feel protective of her” gives me hope for a decent polycule, in my delusional headcanons if not in practice. The instant consummation of their marriage made me rise my eyebrows, especially after Lorenzo passed the opportunity to be a gentleman (yes, in a somewhat anachronistic way, but still less absurd than the Bianca subplot - see bellow). Then again, he IS riddiculously attractive, enough to drive even a repressed renessaince virgin who probably barely knows what sex is mad with lust, so I’ll allow it. Still, the chemistry between Lorenzo and his new bride is still very much not there.

- Speaking of shitty romantic subplots! It really doesn’t help my enjoyment of the show that hurrempilled ever so graciously reminded me of the existence of Bali/Armin “romance”. Tsundere girl x presumptuous fuckboy is truly the worst romance trope in existence, which may be why Giuliano went in this episode from mildly to severely annoying. Poor Simonetta also has two other options, apparently - an equally presumptuous simp and her older, but reasonably attractive and only a little bit douchey (not nearly comparable to Giuliano, I’ll tell you that) husband. My money is on the husband.

- The Bianca subplot finally got interesting, but only at the price of becoming a thousand times stupider. Okay, them realizing there’s no way their families will reconcile anytime soon and eloping was stupid in an understandable way. Their reactions, though... First off, even if Lorenzo was eventually able to forgive Bianca and didn’t force her to join the monastery ASAP, he would be much more pissed off than that. There is no goddamn reason for old Pazzi to be angrier at his nephew than Lorenzo at Bianca - and don’t give me that “Gugliermo’s honor was threatened too”, because IT WASN’T. Of course it would be much worse and more embarassing for Bianca and her family! She’s a woman! Promised to another man and still supposed to be a virgin! Lorenzo should be negotiating with old Pazzi with tail between his legs, but I guess we couldn’t do that to our precious golden boy, so the show doesn’t make it entirely clear just how big of a leverage old Pazzi has over his family.

- Well, at least he’s forced to make some real concessions, like give up his leverage over old Pazzi, which is to say blocking Salviati from Pisa. But that’s still kinda dumb, because it’s not made clear how can Lorenzo boss the Pisans around, to the point they would close the gates to their own archbishop for him. Like, the real Lorenzo could presumably count on having, like, some high-ranking magistrates there being in debt to his bank, but the show doesn’t bother explaining it. The fact that politics in Rome are simplified to the point of farce is also a bit stupid, like, it’s almost as if there were sum total of three cardinals including Salviati in the entire city of Rome, plus one priest of unspecified rank i.e. uncle Carlo.

- I sincerely hope Lorenzo giving up all gains from the deal with Milan to Bianca’s spurned groom will have some major consequences down the line for the Medici bank, or so help me God... Like, at this point they extended Galeazzo’s loan and got fuck all out of it in the long run, this should be a major hit for the bank!

- And don’t think I’ve forgotten about the subtle foreshadowing that Galeazzo is untrustworthy, because that was truly an eyeroll worthy of Shadow And Bone season 2. Again, I hope this will come back later when Lorenzo will consider turning on Galeazzo somehow, but I am not getting my hopes up on the show being that smart. I mean, Giuliano knowing about Bianca and Gugliermo’s whole deal also didn’t go anywhere. Like, c’mon, people, have some imagination! Magnificent Century would milk the shit out this stuff!

- The crowning moment of stupid in this episode was Francesco de’ Pazzi turning on his uncle, because... He turned on Gugliermo for the whole marriage to Bianca?! Which, fine, Francesco siding with his brother over his uncle is whatever, but to side with the MEDICI for this?! I call incredible bullshit on that.

- This was just straight up not a great episode. It had its moments, but overall the amount of stupid stuff on display in this one lets down the entire show.

[coqhee]

RACE TO YOUR HEART 𓂃 이희승

✷ lee heeseung who's always been a pro at racing takes on a change of pacing ; racing for your heart.

f1 racer heeseung︲fem reader ︲fluff, romance, angst, strangers to lovers, mechanic! reader︲pet names, grammar errors, cursing, yeonjun is kinda an ass, alcohol consumption, jealousy, poor communication, kissing︲16.7k / more

1ST EMAIL IN TO: YOUR HEART COLLECTION

─── ♡

LEE HEESEUNG was no stranger to racing. from the loud roar of the engine, to the chant of fans surrounding the track hoping to see him come out on top, and the split-second decisions that could mean the difference between victory and defeat were all too familiar to him.

with many fans who adored his fierce attitude and passion for racing, there was no denying that he was one of the best f1 racers of his generation.

as soon as he puts on his crimson red helmet, he’s a completely different person. a full 180, from the sweet, observant, and attentive man he usually is. there comes his competitive side where he’s got his eyes on the prize.

he’s adorned many trophies over the years, winning many competitions over, at some point he felt numb to it. win after win. many could only wish to feel “nothing” from winning.

a new type of race. he needed a new prize.

now, while he may be a pro at racing cars, was he a pro at racing to someone’s heart? hell no. far from it.

so, when a cute new mechanic arrives as the replacement for one season only, it’s then he decides, it’s a race to your heart against time. he’s determined to win something other than a race. to win your heart.

except he only has 167 days and he’s got to make every one worth it.

─── ♡

youd always had a love for cars from a young age and even repaired your first car with your dad. a red vintage mustang, practically in shambles when you first got it.

your dad agreed to help you fix it as long as you bought it, so one summer job later, your pockets were lined with cash or at least enough to barely afford the broken car for a price that took days of haggling for a flat $500.

essentially, you had built that car ground up considering how broken it was, but that feeling of working with cars was something you just couldn’t dismiss.

you had your heart set on working with cars, no matter what. throughout highschool you had taken many shop classes and earned high marks, and even through college, you repaired cars on the side for some extra cash.

you used that cash to take classes at night in order to get your qualifications to be a mechanic despite your parents’ wishes against it.

you’d never really thought about where your future of cars might lead you, and you’d never considered being an f1 mechanic until your friend karina had brought it up.

“you’re joking, right?” you asked after karina suggested it. “listen, i love working with cars but f1? sure it's a dream, but that’s the scary fast stuff for the rich people that take cars too seriously,” you continued denying any possibility that you could be an f1 mechanic.

“i mean, you’re good at what you do, and you have the qualifications for it, what’s so bad about it?” karina shrugged, putting down her pencil.

“rina hand me that wrench near the phone there,” you motioned with your head towards your work area. “okay listen, i’d have to travel constantly, and it’s completely different cars from what us commoners drive,” you continued defending your point once again.

“okay well, just think of the money,” she attempted to convince you once again. “broke girls like us need that sorta cash,”

you hummed in response to her argument as she handed you the wrench you asked for. she wasn’t wrong. working as a mechanic under your boss didn’t necessarily suck per se, buuut it could be better.

“plus, you won’t even have to stay working as a mechanic for long. just find a cute, rich racer and you’re set for life, never work another day,” she teased, referring back to your “plan a” in life of just finding someone rich instead of working your ass off.

you wouldn’t call yourself a gold digger necessarily, but hey if finding someone rich while doing your job came along, you wouldn’t be too opposed to it. all of a sudden being a mechanic for those fancy cars didn’t sound too bad.

“okay fine. fair point,” you caved, “what’s in it for you though hm?” you questioned the authenticity of her suggestion.

“got me there,” she sighed, “there’s this super cute guy who races for ferrari, jake, and my dad knows a person who knows a person, who…” she noticed you rolling your eyes, at her extensive speech.

“long story short, i can get you a job as a mechanic there,” she clapped her hands giddily.

so that’s how you ended up here. in monaco. you reminisced on the memory from months ago, sighing. she was indeed very convincing or else you wouldn’t be here now.

with a loud clap from your boss, you were snapped out of your trance in an instant.

“alright team, sun’s shining bright,and it’s looking like a real good day. i’m sure by now you guys have met y/n, who’ll be joining us for today's race,” your new boss motioned towards you. you awkwardly bowed your head to meet your peers around you.

“beomgyu, i’m gonna need you to show y/n around the hospitality today,” he instructed, pulling you and the manto the side.

“hi, i'm beomgyu, i’ve been working here for around 3 years, hope we can get along well,” he smiled softly. your nerves were relaxed upon hearing the welcoming words.

“y/n, i’m new to this f1 stuff, so honestly i’m nervous with the cars we’ll be working with,” you chuckled nervously.

“don’t sweat it. i'll just show you around and how we run stuff. maybe you’ll even meet some drivers if they’re hanging around, doubt it though,” he reassured, patting your back as the two of your walked to the hospitality.

you were in awe of the big space. sure, you had seen it through pictures when karina was gawking about how nice it’d be, but this was on a whole new level.

from the luxury cars parked on the grass, to the view overlooking the track, it was truly astonishing just being able to be here.

“so yeah! there’s not much to it, the place is cool and all but most of our time is gonna be spent down at the garage. but hey! when you’re on break you can enjoy the sweet, sweet view up here,” he commented, ending off the tour on a high.

you smiled pleasantly making a mental note to call karina later and thank her for the opportunity.

“beomgyu! what are you doing here? i thought you’d be down at the garage,” a voice chirped from behind you. the voice neared and you saw a figure pulling beomgyu in for a hug.

“heeseung! hey man i’ll be there shortly, just showing our new mechanic around the hospitality,” beomgyu greeted back cheerfully.

the man looked down at you with a kind smile and nodded, “great to have you here! i'm heeseung, one of the drivers for ferrari, and you are..?” he trailed off hoping to catch your name.

“y/n. glad to meet you as well,” you smiled curtly because wow. karina was not lying when she said that the racers were good looking people.

“so you’re the lee heeseung, as in the reigning champion of f1?” you jokingly clarified to fill the silence

he chuckled and nodded, taking note of your name in the process “well anyways, i should get going. super great meeting you though,” he turned to leave.

“oh yeah, beomgyu, you should come too, they wanted you to do one final check on the car to make sure it was good to go,” he quickly called out, motioning for beomgyu to follow.

with that, you watched as the two exited the building leaving you to your own devices. It wasn’t long until you had to be at the garage either.

you looked at your phone to check the time, 10:21 am, may 24th, 2024. only 198 days til the season was over. and it barely felt like you could survive this weekend of racing alone.

─── ♡

“who is she?” heeseung asked watching beomgyu check the car thoroughly.

“who, y/n?” beomgyu asked back.

“yeah, her,”

“just the new mechanic. it’s her first time doing f1 shit so i wouldn’t expect the world out of h-“

“she’s funny,” heeseung cut off, too lost in thought. beomgyu rolled his eyes at the two word comment he got cut off for.

heeseung, frankly, was a fool. he was drawn to you and would love to get to know you more. being friends with your mechanics cannot go poorly, right?

to be honest, he had seen you before you had walked in the building and admired your passion when speaking with the other mechanics.

ever since seeing that he’s wanted to talk to you, and that’s all that’s been on his mind.

“well, you’re all good to go for your practice laps, just don’t crash, thinking about her,” the boy teased, patting heeseung on the back for motivation.

“yeah yeah like that’s gonna happen,” heeseung snorted at the silly comment. how could he, f1’s reigning champion, crash? well, it might happen if he’s too busy thinking about ferrari’s new and cute mechanic, you.

heeseung slid into the driver seat of the car, the space feeling all too familiar to him. a second home if he was being honest. as his assistant handed him his helmet and he put it on, it was like a switch flipped.

as he revved the engine, he could see from the corner of his eye you giving a giddy wave as if you were a fan girl (which you basically were to be fair). he chuckled at the gesture.

cute. he thought to himself as he set off on his laps.

the groove of the road slowly felt more and more familiar the more he drove.

soon enough it was time for the real deal, the final race of the weekend.

heeseung took a final deep breath sliding into the car, and began creeping up to the starting position. he’d been driving for a while and while it was in his nature to feel relaxed typically, he couldn’t help but feel nervous with a new set of eyes on him.

he suppressed the voices within and let the switch in him flip to the lee heeseung that many knew as ferrari’s star driver.

for you on the other hand, you felt nothing but excitement to watch the races throughout the weekend. you had watched heeseung’s fiery determination from practice to qualifying, and were nothing more than eager to watch the final race commence.

with that, you watched the red lights countdown, and soon enough, off they went with a blur.

“pulling ahead, in the lead is ferrari’s star lee heeseung with their new and improved model, lets see how well it’ll hold up against mclaren’s newest driver, choi yeonjun, coming up not far behind,” the announcer broadcasted loudly.

watching the race take place in real life, this close, felt straight out of a movie, and you could barely comprehend that this was even happening.

you watched heeseung’s bright red ferrari and yeonjun’s orange mclaren trade between first and second place, everyone seemingly falling farther and farther behind. the two bright cars seemed to only be competing with each other and no one else.

the minutes soon passed by and the first race was closing out. you watched as the orange blur overtook ferrari’s signature red near the end of the track, sighing in what you thought would be defeat.

“lee heeseung not far behind picks up the pace to catch up with choi yeonjun… will he be able to pull it off? and HE DOES BY LESS THAN A SECOND, WINNING THE MONACO GRAND PRIX FOR 2024” the announcer exclaims with enthusiasm.

cheers erupt from the fans surrounding the track, eliciting an unfamiliar and unique emotion. it became clear to you why so many adored f1 racing, and cheering for their favorites.

you cheer from the sidelines pumped up seeing your team win off the bat for the season and smile feeling a sense of pride wash over.

─── ♡

the long drawn out weekend ended with heeseung’s in first place narrowly beating yeonjun. he was cutting it too close. closer than usual that is.

“insane race today, good shit though,” jake dapped him up, going in for a hug after taking his helmet off.

“i was scared for a second honestly, what do they put in these new guys,” heeseung retorts back to his close friend (and teammate), taking his own helmet off. he shakes his head letting his messy hair fall down naturally.

“that yeonjun guy has some serious potential though, shame he’s an asshole though i’ve heard,” jake shrugs after nodding off to the other mechanics to deal with the car.

“really? who'd you hear that from,” heeseung asks mindlessly, walking towards the hospitality.

“sunghoon from red bull told me, even the mechanics don’t like him apparently,” jake continued on with heeseung humming in response.

“hey, who’s the new mechanic for you? beomgyu said you were getting a replacement,” jake questions curiously to his fellow teammate.

he thinks to himself for a moment recalling the interaction earlier, and the silly joke you had made earlier.

“y/n. she’s cute, beomgyu introduced me,”

“cute? that’s what you point out?” jake laughs at the seemingly shallow comment.

“i’m bad with women, you know that. she’s nice and i really wanted to say more but i didn’t wanna scare her off. i think i want to get to know her better,” heeseung explained.

“man, you really suck with women, but it’s not like i'm any better. you’re on your own,” jake snorts, giving him 0 reassurance.

─── ♡

it didn’t take long for heeseung to make his first move in an attempt to talk to you more.

he had a plan. he was indeed a man with his plan.

step one: find out how to talk to you more.

it started with talking with beomgyu to find your hotel room number for the night and quite a few questions from the man asking why lee heeseung, the young star with a bright future ahead, would need it.

“i’m just tryna get to know my team a little better, what’s so bad about that?” heeseung defended himself raising his hands up as if surrendering.

and after 10 minutes of haggling —yelling— with beomgyu, and one long talk from the receptionist asking you to keep it down in the hall because guests were sleeping, he finally got your room number… just not through beomgyu.

“hey, uh, did i miss a page?” you wipe the sleep from your eyes as you poke your head out from your room.

“everything is great! don't worry about it! isn’t that right gyu,” heeseung grins, waving his hands as if telling you to ‘not worry about it’.

“uh huh, okay” beomgyu rolls his eyes walking back to his own room leaving just you and heeseung in the hall.

you nervously approach the tall man despite being tired, in your pajamas, and feeling slightly embarrassed, but nonetheless wanting to figure out what the commotion had been about.

“um, so what was that about?” you question curiously, which you had every right to at this point.

“hi, i'm heeseung. i don’t know if you remember or not but i was wondering if you wanted to grab coffee in the morning at the cafe blocks down,” he asked shyly scratching the back of his head nervously.

you blew it. you absolutely just fucking blew it. his inner voice told himself.

“sure, sounds great. i’ll be there at 7:30,” you mumble out tiredly, after all, it had been a long first day on the job.

he grins upon hearing your response despite it sounding incredibly unenthusiastic. i mean c’mon, he just woke you up yelling in the hallway, you can’t be that glad.

“sounds amazing,” he smiles. “i’ll be ready by then, pretty,” he turns to leave in the direction of his room.

“oh, and sorry for waking you up,” he apologized quickly. you giggle at the way he sounds almost out of breath from arguing with beomgyu earlier but still wanted to make an effort.

heeseung smiled to himself hearing you giggle. maybe it wasn’t so bad after all.

he spent that night thinking of all the different ways a conversation with you could possibly go, replaying every memory of you in his mind that night. just something about you was so incredibly captivating, he had to figure it out.

heeseung was up before the sun, the soft hum of the city still waking up as he slipped on a hoodie and grabbed his keys. it wasn’t often he found himself nervous—he was used to high pressure situations, the kind that made most people sweat. but today wasn’t about lap times or podium finishes.

you had agreed to have a coffee with him in the morning, and the thought of it had his heart racing faster than any f1 car ever could.

it wasn’t a date, at least, not officially. just a morning coffee. casual. easy. but the way he had been thinking about it all night made it feel like something more.

he reached the café early, of course. it was small, tucked away from the main streets, the kind of place where you could go unnoticed. perfect. he picked a table near the window, fingers drumming on the edge of the table, glancing out every few minutes, waiting for you to walk through the door.

you still couldn’t quite believe that lee heeseung, ferrari’s golden boy and one of the most sought-after drivers in the world, had asked you to coffee. the whole thing felt surreal. you had only talked once before—a brief conversation (if you can even call it that) before the race.

the question had caught you off guard. you had blinked, unsure if he was just being friendly or if there was more behind the offer. but the easy smile on his face made it seem harmless, so you said yes without thinking too hard about it.

after all, why not? it wasn’t like you were going to pass up breakfast with a formula 1 driver, the lee heeseung, even if it was just a friendly gesture.

but now, the night before, lying in bed and staring at the ceiling, you found yourself replaying the moment in your head. what exactly had prompted him to ask you? you had only talked for a few seconds, nothing deep or particularly memorable, at least on your end. or so you thought.

you figured it was probably just a spur-of-the-moment thing. maybe he was bored, or maybe he just liked getting to know people. either way, it wasn’t a big deal. right?

you turned over in bed, groaning softly. why were you overthinking this? heeseung had probably forgotten about it already, while here she was, lying awake, wondering if she should dress up or just go casual.

it wasn’t like it was a date or anything—just coffee. just a second conversation with a guy who happened to race cars for a living (and was super cute).

still, there was something about the way he’d asked. his tone had been casual, but his eyes had held yours a moment longer than she expected, like he was genuinely hoping you'd say yes. and that small detail had stuck with you, now making you second guess yourself.

you sighed, grabbing your phone from the bedside table to check the time—2 a.m. great. if you didn’t get some sleep soon, you'd show up looking like a zombie. but as you tried to settle down again, your mind kept wandering back to him.

─── ♡

as you approached the café, a soft breeze tugged at your hair, and the early morning sun cast a golden glow over the quiet street. it was still early enough that the city hadn’t fully woken up yet—just a few people walking their dogs or grabbing coffee to-go.

the air felt crisp and cool, carrying with it the faint scent of freshly brewed coffee and baked bread from the nearby shops.

you nervously fidgeted with the strap of your bag as you reached the door. inside, everything seemed quieter than the world outside, yet still lively in a sense

your eyes sweep the room, and then you see him. heeseung, sitting by the window, bathed in the soft morning light. he looks calm, leaning back slightly in his chair, fingers tapping lightly on the table as he stares out at the street unaware of your presence.

he soon takes notice, waving to you to come sit with him, and your feet move your way over before your mind can even process the small interaction.

“hey,” he greets you as you sit down, his voice low but warm, the kind that feels like it wraps around you and pulls you in. “glad you made it.”

you offer a small smile, trying to match his ease. “yeah, thanks for inviting me. i hope i’m not too late.”

he shakes his head, his eyes soft as they meet yours. “nah, not at all. i’ve been looking forward to this.” his words are casual, but there’s something about the way he says it—like he really means it—that makes your heart skip.

shut up, he's just being nice. you think to yourself. just a temporary job, then i'm back home. you couldn’t afford getting too attached to anyone here, it was just a job at the end of the day.

“really?” you manage to muster out despite your thoughts.

heeseung grins, a boyish charm lighting up his face as he leans forward slightly. “well, it’s not every day that I get to have breakfast with someone who isn’t a driver or a team manager.”

“oh, so i’m just a change of pace for you?” you tease, raising an eyebrow.

“maybe,” he says, his eyes twinkling with amusement. “or maybe it’s because i don’t know you that well yet, and i kind of want to.”

the sentence caught you off guard with the amount of sincerity he used to say each and every word.

“sorry didn’t mean to make it weird,” he mumbled out in a sort of embarrassment for his statement.

you giggled at his nervous excitement of the situation and reassured him it was okay to which he smiled feeling relieved of a potential headache of overthinking.

an oddly comfortable silence fills the air as the two of you take in the bustling atmosphere around you of people just going about their mundane day.

normally coffee with a person you barely know would be awkward to say the least, but with heeseung it felt eerily normal.

“so how'd you get into racing?” you ask, breaking the said silence.

“mostly video games, honestly, i played racing games when i was younger and i've always just been in love with the speed that comes with it. my cousin knew someone who did karting so i guess that's how it all started,” he responds, reminiscing about his childhood spent playing racing games with his older brother.

you nod at the mini backstory you had asked for and take a sip of your coffee before he asks you in return, “how’d you get into being a mechanic?”

and before you can answer, he receives a phone call. you smile and nod telling him to take the call to which he does.

heeseung pressed the phone to his ear, his patience already fraying as the call came at the worst possible moment.

“hey, listen, i’m kind of busy right now,” he said, trying to keep his irritation in check. “can i call you back in, say, 30 minutes?”

he could practically hear the stress on the other end of the line, and he rolled his eyes internally. of course, there was always something—always a problem that couldn’t wait. of course.

“no, this is important,” came the firm response, cutting through any hope that he might get even a short reprieve.

heeseung’s jaw tightened. “okay…?” his tone edged with the same frustration he was trying to suppress,

there was a pause, followed by a deep sigh. “it’s about the car. the engine isn’t working, and we need you to come down.”

he sighed, his hand tapping on the table, displeased to say the least. of all days and time for the car to act up, it had to be now. glancing across the table at you, he knew his morning with you was about to be cut short.

“give me a moment to finish up. y/n’s with me—do you want me to drive her there then?”

he gave you a tight, apologetic smile, pointing to the phone as he mouthed "manager," signaling the sudden shift in mood.

you nodded, watching him closely as he turned his attention back to the call, already feeling the tension radiating from him.

“sure, why not,” the manager replied, sounding distracted, like they didn’t really care about anything other than getting him to the garage.

heeseung hung up with an irritated sigh, shaking his head as he slipped his phone back into his pocket. “the car’s engine is messed up or something,” he muttered, his tone sharper than he intended. then he looked at you, softening slightly. “we gotta head down there. i’ll drive you.”

he could feel the frustration simmering beneath the surface, not just because of the car, but because this was supposed to be a break—time spent away from the chaos, a change of pace as he put it earlier.

but then you smiled, that same light-hearted grin he’d come to appreciate, and you said, “hey, maybe this can be my first proper job for f1 then, huh?”

heeseung couldn’t help but smile, your enthusiasm cutting through his irritation. he let out a soft chuckle, the tension in his shoulders loosening just a bit. “hmm, maybe,” he said, his tone more relaxed now. “guess we’ll see then.”

as he stood up and grabbed his keys, he watched you mirror his movements. despite the shift in plans, you weren’t phased. if anything, you were handling the disruption better than he was.

he led the way out of the café, his mind already half-focused on the problem with the car, but he tried to stay in the moment, glancing over at you as you walked beside him.

you didn’t seem to mind the sudden change of plans, and that alone made it easier for him to let go of some of the frustration.

at the car, he opened the door for you without thinking, a gesture that took you by surprise, quietly thanking him as you climbed in. he hesitated for a moment, resting his hand on the car roof.

he settled into the car watching you intently as you studied the detailed black interior of the car, aweing at the time it must have taken to make such an intricate car.

“sorry about this,” he murmured, his voice a little quieter, more sincere than before. “i didn’t plan for it to happen today.” he continued more apologetically.

“don’t worry about it,” you replied, settling into the passenger seat. “besides, it’ll be interesting to see what’s going on with the car, right? maybe i’ll learn something new.”

a wave of admiration came across him for your positivity, it was blinding honestly.

sure, the car’s engine problem was weighing on his mind, but somehow, sitting here with you made it feel like it wasn’t such a big deal. for once, even amidst the chaos of racing, he felt grounded—thanks to you.

the car ride had that same comfortable silence in the air, neither of you wanting to add more to think about. both of your minds lingered on the thought of what could’ve possibly happened to the engine.

“so..”

“right, how did you get into car stuff, being a mechanic?” he asked, wanting to finish the conversation earlier until he had been interrupted by “car stuff”.

“my dad fixed cars for fun and he showed me,” you smiled. he hummed in response hearing the humble backstory, glad to know more about you.

“what’s the plan after this mechanic gig is up?” he asked, prying further into your life, just wanting to keep the conversation going.

you stared out the window admiring the blur of the city going by. “hmm, i'll probably just go back home to my old job, this was kinda a one off, if i'm being honest,” you answered with a sort of hesitancy, realizing this little dream job would end in less than a year. he hummed in response not wanting to encourage your dwelling.

“when i read up on you, i saw we have the same hometown, funny huh?” you continued in an attempt to lighten the mood.

“reading up on me huh?” he teased to which you rolled your eyes trying to keep your own composure.

“hey, i need to know who i'm working with,” lie. you stayed up longer than you should’ve last night looking him up. article to article.

“honored my name is on your search history then, pretty,” the reoccurring nickname sending your brain into a frenzy.

“u-uh yeah.” you stutter out still feeling giddy.

─── ♡

“there you guys are, finally,” his manager greeted the both of you. you shyly greeted him back before he hurriedly debriefed you on the situation at hand

“y/n, the rest of the mechanics are over in that garage if you want to take a look,” he motioned in some other direction to which you nodded.

part of you cheered giddily for getting to be able to do something, contribute if you will, but otherwise, you were nervous. nervous for failure on your first attempt at fixing an f1 car.

stepping into the garage, the smell of fuel and engine oil hit you immediately, mixing with the faint scent of rubber from the tires. a few mechanics stood huddled around the open hood of the car, their heads bent in concentration.

you looked around, with your eyes eventually settling on a girl with a dark wine red, who glanced up when she noticed you approaching.

“y/n right? beomgyu said you were coming, i'm yunjin,” she greeted cheerfully bringing relief to your mind which was in its own way, racing. “here to get your hands dirty?”

you smiled back, feeling slightly more at ease with her laid-back demeanor. “yeah, that’s the plan,” you replied, though your voice still carried a hint of nervousness. beomgyu greeted you, while coming out of another room looking exasperated.

“what’s the situation with the engine?” you asked curiously.

beomgyu sighed, tossing the rag aside. “we’re looking at a potential misfire, could be an issue with the MGU-H, maybe something off with the ignition system. not even sure yet,”

he motioned toward the engine, the massive power unit exposed as wires and components sprawled out in a delicate maze of engineering.

you took a step closer, peering into the engine bay. the complexity of it was overwhelming, but also fascinating—an intricate system of components that, when functioning perfectly, powered the fastest cars on the planet.

you glanced over the mechanics’ shoulders, watching as they carefully inspected each connection, each part.

“so… where can i help?” you asked, feeling a little more confident now that you were in the thick of things, seeing how in some ways it looked familiar to the cars you had worked with.

beomgyu chuckled softly, his eyes scanning the engine before nodding toward a diagnostic tablet nearby. “we could use an extra set of eyes on the data. see if you can make sense of these readings. we’re trying to narrow down where the issue is coming from.”

you picked up the tablet, the screen displaying various engine parameters—temperatures, pressure readings, electrical currents. it was a lot to take in, but you focused, scrolling through the data while beomgyu and the others worked around you.

a few hours had passed, and just as you were starting to get into a rhythm, you heard footsteps approaching. looking up, you saw heeseung walking over, his expression a mix of curiosity and concern. he stopped beside you, glancing at the tablet in your hands.

“how’s it going, pretty?” he asked, his voice low.

the nickname caught you off guard and surprised you by how it flowed out so easily from him.

“it’s… a lot,” you admitted with a small laugh, holding up the tablet for him to see. “but i’m getting there. beomgyu’s been helping me figure it out.”

“i'm sure you’ll get it, i trust you,” he reassured with a warm smile. “more than beomgyu for the matter honestly,” he whispered secretively to you, holding a smirk.

“I HEARD THAT!” beomgyu shouted approaching the tall man, smiling.

you smiled seeing the childish interaction between the two of them, bickering back and forth. it felt familiar.

“mm pretty sure you didn’t but okay,” heeseung scoffed, starting to walk away, giving you a wink in the process, giving you an eruption of butterflies in your stomach.

this can’t just be a friendly thing right? you thought to yourself fighting an internal war in your head. a constant back and forth.

you watched him go, the air feeling a little lighter (ironically) without him nearby. you could finally think straight.

you focused back on the task at hand. working with beomgyu, you continued to pour over the data, narrowing down the possible issues.

after a while, something in the numbers caught your eye—a sudden dip in one of the electrical readings.

“hey, beomgyu, look at this,” you said, pointing to the screen. “could this be related to the MGU-H failure you mentioned?”

he leaned over, his eyes following where you pointed. “yeah… that’s definitely something. good catch.”

you felt a small surge of pride at his words, feeling a little more confident in your contribution now. hey, maybe it wasn’t all too bad hiring you. you had eyes that could catch a dip in a graph. what a relief!

heeseung went about his day busy with many other meetings about marketing and such with lots of new information to take in. honestly though, he was just waiting to get out of them and make it up to you through dinner, and the opportunity arose not long after you noticed him waiting for you outside the garage.

“hi, hee,” he could’ve sworn his heart was doing backflips and the thumping in his heart was audible.

“hi y/n, what’s up with the nickname?” he managed to respond, keeping his composure which seemed to be a lot harder than he had intended for it to be.

“mm just figured i should come up with something for you since you have something for me,” you explained softly, a shy smile fell over your face.

“is that okay..?” you asked after a few moments of no response or expression showing on his face. truthfully, he was still in shock you were bold enough to give him a nickname. a nickname he was in love with hearing it from your mouth.

“no yeah! call me whatever you’d like,” he smiled warmly, giving you a look of reassurance. to which you felt calmer, the second-guessing thoughts receding like the ocean and its shoreline.

“okay then, hee,” you repeated, testing it out again, your voice carrying a playful lilt as you gave him a quick, shy glance. the way the nickname rolled off your tongue made your heart flutter, and you couldn’t help the giggle that followed, light and soft, as if it was your own secret joke with him.

a rosy pink shade rose to his ears hearing it again. what he’d give to hear it over and over again like its own song. a moment of that familiar silence arose again, the slight breeze comforting alongside it.

“i think i have to get back to work, but i’ll see you around?” you broke the silence as reluctant as you were.

his smile didn’t falter, though inside he found himself wishing the moment would stretch on a little longer. “yeah, for sure,” he replied, his voice a little brighter, though his mind was already racing back to the swimming sessions he had to return to. the thought of going back to the simulator, locked in hours of tedious practice, wasn’t exactly thrilling, but it was necessary.

still, right now, all he wanted was to hold on to this little piece of time with you.

“good luck with practice,” you added with a small smile, your hand brushing slightly against his arm in a casual, fleeting gesture. the warmth of your touch lingered even as you stepped back, turning to leave.

“thanks,” he said, his voice softer now, watching you go with a quiet fondness. “see you soon.”

as you walked away, heeseung found himself staring after you for a moment longer than he should have. a part of him wanted to call you back, to find some excuse to keep talking, to hear you say his name just one more time. but instead, he sighed softly, shaking his head at himself.

“holy fuck, pull it together, she’s just a friend” he muttered under his breath, already dreading the simulator waiting for him. but even as he trudged back to the track, his thoughts kept circling back to you.

he didn’t know what would happen next, but he knew one thing for sure: he couldn’t wait to see you again.

─── ♡

one race to the next, it barely felt like you had any time. before you knew it, you already hopped on a plane to canada to prepare for the next race up ahead. the job has not been as expected, tiring to say the least but it felt rewarding in some aspects.

heeseung on the other hand, if you were tired, he was on a different level. sitting through meetings non stop, simulating to what felt 25/8. he was exhausted.

if there was any highlight however, it had to be seeing you throughout the day. the small waves you'd give him when seeing him around, to the small smiles you'd give him when you were a too busy.

y/n: hi! this is y/n, beomgyu gave me your number. want to grab dinner after you’re done? read 7:31pm

he would be lying if he didnt say he was elated to receive a text from you.

“is that your y/n?” jake asked, peering over heeseung’s shoulder to read the text catching him very much off guard.

“maybe,” he mumbled, trying to play it cool while already typing his response, his fingers dancing over the screen with a mix of excitement and nerves.

heeseung: hi, sounds good with me. read 7:35pm heeseung: i can get take out, and meet by the park nearby at 8 maybe? read 7:35pm

“and there goes our dinner plans,” jake teased, dramatically faking a sob as he leaned back in his chair. “he’s all grown up now.”

heeseung shot him a playful glare, trying to suppress a grin. it was hard not to feel a rush of happiness as he awaited your reply.

y/n: sure! read 7:36pm

heeseung hurriedly tossed his things into his bag, hands moving faster than his thoughts as he glanced at the time. he was already running late, and the last thing he wanted was to keep you waiting.

without much thought, he grabbed whatever was in reach—his keys, his jacket—and slung his bag over his shoulder.

on his way out, he made a quick stop at the food court, scanning the options with little patience. he settled for the first thing he saw—some greasy chinese takeout, barely giving it a second glance as he paid and rushed out.

i mean you can never go wrong with 5 hour old egg rolls, friend rice, and general tso’s chicken from someone who’s name was probably not even general tso’s.

it wasn’t the best choice, but he figured it would do. after all, it wasn’t about the food—it was about seeing you. or at least for him it was. he started praying on the way that you weren’t expecting some high quality 5 star food.

heeseung was practically speed-walking now, juggling the takeout bag in one hand and his phone in the other as he checked the time again. 7:53pm. he had a little time, but not enough to feel comfortable.

he couldn’t believe how much effort he was putting into something as simple as takeout and a park bench, but then again, this wasn’t just anyone—this was you.

as he neared the park, the familiar buzz of his phone snapped him out of his thoughts.

y/n: i’m here! just by the fountain :) read 7:55pm

his heart skipped a beat. you were already there, waiting for him. great, now i’m really late, he thought, quickening his pace.

he finally spotted you sitting on the edge of the fountain, your legs crossed, hands in your lap as you looked around, casually enjoying the evening air. the sight of you, illuminated by the soft glow of the park’s streetlights, made him momentarily forget about the cheap takeout in his hand or how rushed he felt just moments ago.

“hey!” he called out as he approached, trying to keep his voice steady. you turned at the sound, your face lighting up when you saw him.

“hi, hee,” you greeted with a warm smile. his stomach did a flip at the nickname, but he played it cool, grinning back as he held up the bag of takeout.

“so, i grabbed the finest chinese food this place had to offer,” he said sarcastically, shaking the greasy bag a little. “i’m talking five-star dining right here.”

you giggled, rolling your eyes. “well, i guess i’ll just have to take your word for it.”

he plopped down beside you on the fountain ledge, setting the bag between you two. the evening breeze picked up a little, cool but refreshing after the heat of the day. the city sounds in the background faded as you both settled into a comfortable silence, the atmosphere between you casual yet warm.

heeseung handed you a pair of chopsticks, and as you opened one of the boxes, the aroma hit both of you. “okay, this doesn’t smell half bad,” you teased, raising an eyebrow at him.

“i told you,” he chuckled. “general tso—whoever he is—knows his stuff.”

as you started eating, he stole a few glances at you, feeling strangely content in this moment. it wasn’t anything fancy or over-the-top, but sitting here with you, laughing over greasy takeout in the park—it felt right. like maybe this was something he could get used to.

“thanks for grabbing dinner,” you said after a while, your voice soft. “this is nice.”

“yeah, it is,” he replied, smiling to himself. “i’m just glad you didn’t expect anything too fancy.”

“oh, please,” you rolled your eyes. “this is perfect.” you continued enjoying the warm air around you in the dark night on a dim lit park bench.

and for a moment, everything felt simple. easy. just you, him, and some less-than-great chinese food, sharing a quiet evening together. nothing complicated. just two colleagues, friends you could say enjoying a nice dinner. the tension surrounding the two of you didn’t quite scream “friends” though.

you finished chewing the last bite of food which you had fought over, before starting conversation up again.

“thank you for tonight, i really appreciate you coming out here to have dinner,” you chuckled, cleaning up the mess of napkins, plastic forks and take-out boxes.

“of course, i had a great time, too, pretty,” the nickname rolled off his tongue naturally now, and he couldn’t help the small smile tugging at his lips as he said it.

your cheeks warmed at the way he said it so casually, like it was the most natural thing in the world. you bit your lip, glancing down at the mess in your hands to avoid meeting his gaze for too long.

“i mean, who knew egg rolls could be so competitive,” you teased, trying to keep the mood light as you tossed the takeout boxes into the trash nearby.

heeseung chuckled, shaking his head. “you really fought for that last bite. i was impressed.” he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, eyes still locked on you with that same amused glint.

“hey, i take food seriously,” you joked, finally looking back at him, meeting his gaze fully this time. the comfortable, playful atmosphere was still there, but something about the moment felt… different. there was a weight to the way he was looking at you now, something deeper than just casual banter.

the silence stretched for a beat too long, not awkward, but charged with something unspoken. you shifted slightly, suddenly aware of how close the two of you were sitting on the fountain’s edge.

“so,” you said, breaking the silence, “i guess i’ll see you around soon?”

“of course,” letting go of that remaining syllable with hesitancy knowing this would be the end of tonight. he wasn’t quite ready for this quiet peace to end.

you walked back to your hotel, feeling a mix of excitement and exhaustion from the day’s events. luckily, it wasn’t too far from the park where you had spent the afternoon, a short stroll that allowed you to soak in the fading light of the sunset.

as soon as you had made it back to your hotel, you kicked off your shoes and threw yourself onto the hotel bed. you had way too many thoughts in your head, and figured you could call karina, the one person you know would love to hear about your life as of now.

“y/n!! it's been so long, how is the job?” you heard her chirp from the other end with a hint of curiosity eager to hear about your new busy life away from home.

“tiring to say the least,” you responded back exasperated from the extensive work with close to no time for yourself.

“well, chin up, this is your life for the next half year,” karina encouraged your anxious self. “tell me about heeseung boy you texted me about,”

a small smile crept onto your face at the mention of his name. “he’s… well, he’s great. really friendly and easy to talk to,” you began, your excitement bubbling to the surface, biting your tongue from saying any more not wanting to confirm any potential feelings you might have.

“just friendly, huh?” karina teased back at your word choice.

“come on, you know what i mean!” you shot back, laughing despite your embarrassment. “I just don’t want to assume anything. we’re just friends, i think that’s what he wants,”

“mmkay, whatever you say,”

─── ♡

and “just friends” you were. because friends always go out of their way to sneak in secret lunches away from their managers who could yell at them for not working effectively over the days spent preparing for this next grand prix.

friends always send quick glances to each other during team briefings, or share inside jokes that leave the rest of the team confused.

friends always feel a little thrill when their names light up each other's phone screen, a small buzz of excitement you tried to ignore every time you saw a message from him.

friends always hold eye contact with others for a second longer than they should.

and of course friends always end up sitting a little too close during those late-night hangouts, where your shoulders brush just enough to send a shiver down your spine, but you pretend not to notice.

wait, are you sure this is just friends?

yet, when someone like yunjin pointed it out, you brushed it off, unwilling to admit to anything beyond the friendship label. because that’s what it was, right? just friends.

friends who found excuses to be in the same place a little more often than necessary.

so "just friends" you stayed. at least, for now.

once again heeseung was back on the track, his first love if he's being honest. he slid on his helmet with a familiar weight settling on top of his head, muffling the world around him. he took a deep breath before sliding inside the familiar seat, his hands automatically flying to the wheel.

this was his space. his escape. the one place where everything made sense. hours of practice had led up this.

he rolled up to the starting position, the low hum of his engine vibrating beneath him, steadying his pulse. next to him, yeonjun from mclaren sat in his sleek orange car, radiating confidence, a clear rivalry showing through.

heeseung watched as the red lights above flickered out—

with a deafening roar, both cars shot forward, engines screaming as they tore down the track. heeseung’s grip tightened on the wheel as he surged ahead, adrenaline flooding his veins as the car hugged the asphalt.

he had the early lead as usual, but a glance in his mirrors showed yeonjun right behind him, too close for comfort.

the first turn approached fast, and heeseung swung into it, hugging the inside line. but yeonjun wasn’t giving him any breathing room. as they exited the turn, yeonjun accelerated aggressively, pulling up beside him, refusing to back down.

the straightaway stretched out before them, and yeonjun made his move. his car edged closer, pressing against heeseung’s, forcing him to the outside of the track. heeseung’s jaw clenched as he felt his car veer dangerously toward the barriers, the scraping of metal just inches away.

he’s pushing too hard, heeseung thought, heart pounding, but there was no room to hesitate. yeonjun was relentless, using every inch of the track to his advantage, leaving heeseung little space to maneuver.

they approached the second set of turns, and yeonjun cut in hard, practically shoving heeseung toward the edge again. the walls loomed dangerously close, and heeseung had no choice but to ease off for a split second, letting yeonjun take the inside line. frustration bubbled inside him as he watched the orange car pull ahead, but he wasn’t giving up yet.

heeseung pushed the gas, catching up on the straight, and for a brief moment, they were neck-and-neck. the final turn approached—a brutal, tight corner. this was it. heeseung braked late, swinging into the turn, but yeonjun held his ground, keeping just ahead.

coming out of the turn, yeonjun’s car edged in front by mere inches. the finish line was just ahead, and heeseung floored it, pushing his car to the absolute limit. both cars rocketed toward the line, tires screeching, engines roaring.

but it wasn’t enough.

yeonjun crossed first—just barely, but it was enough to secure the win.

heeseung slowed down, pulling into the pit lane, his heart still pounding from the intensity of the race.

He was pissed. he’d rarely ever get mad, but when it came to racing, he was pissed.

“i had that shit!” heeseung yelled furiously as soon as jake came to congratulate him for the high placing despite knowing heeseung was not going to be the least bit happy.

“you still won almost every other race this season, it's okay,” jake attempted to reassure him but to no avail heeseung mumbled out a string of curse words.

you approached him slowly seeing how upset he had been over this race. he immediately picked you apart from the crowd and you watched as his face softened upon seeing you.

“you did really great, okay? i'm sure you'll win the next one,” you smiled trying to force any bit of positivity out of yourself as encouragement.

“yeah, maybe,” his tone was sharper than usual. he hadn’t meant to raise his tone, but you could immediately tell his guilt after it had slipped out.

at that moment, you watched as yeonjun stepped out of his own car holding a victorious smile, smirking at heeseung and snorting. heeseung reacted with a string of curses.

“sorry about him, he’s not the best at taking losses,” jake apologized, casting a glance in heeseung’s direction. his tone was light, but there was an understanding behind his words, as he’d seen this side of heeseung before.

then, turning his attention to you, he extended his hand with a friendly smile. “i don’t think we’ve met properly, though? jake. it’s so nice to meet you,” he said warmly, his grip firm but welcoming as you shook his hand.

“y/n, really great to meet you too,” you greeted back holding a smile, neither of you having each other’s full attention as you both watched heeseung getting whisked away by the press for photos despite his scowl.

“thank you for putting up with him for this long,” jake chuckled with a more positive tone as compared to heeseung. honestly, finally gave him your full attention looking up at the man. and you could now very much understand why karina wanted you to have this job to begin with.

“well it's my job, he's actually quite nice though,” you replied back, a silence falling upon the both of you, not the same kind of comfortable silence though.

“so, are you two…?” jake asked, his voice lowered now that heeseung was out of earshot.

you blinked, caught off guard by the question. “no, wait, yes? honestly, i’m not sure,” you admitted, surprised at how easily the truth slipped out. jake’s expression stayed neutral, not even a hint of amusement crossing his face.

“hmm,” he hummed thoughtfully like he was entertaining the idea, but not giving much away.

“what?” you asked, feeling a bit defensive under his calm gaze.

“between you and me, and i guess heeseung,” jake leaned in slightly, lowering his voice, “he definitely thinks you’re something.” smiling at your stunned expression.

jake winked before glancing over and watching heeseung walk back a little more calm, before walking off himself to do his own interview.

“what’d that loser say?” heeseung asked, his voice full of concern. more specifically that jake would try something, although it wasn’t quite his character to.

“oh, um. nothing, i can't hear all too well in this crowd,” lie.

heeseung raised an eyebrow, clearly not fully convinced but choosing not to press further. “okay,” he responded simply, his tone light, though there was a hint of suspicion in his eyes.

he let it go for now, shifting his attention back to the crowd around them, but the moment hung in the air, leaving you feeling like he might not buy your excuse.

to you though, you were still processing this little bit of information, but little did jake know this would be keeping you up in the dead of the night reevaluating all interactions. maybe you weren’t just friends.

─── ♡

heeseung told himself he wouldn’t let that small interaction bug him, but it did more often than he would like to. every small little thing reminded him of you. what did jake tell you that was so secret you couldn't tell him?

heeseung found himself replaying the moment over and over in his head. maybe it was nothing, maybe you were just being polite, but that little spark of doubt wouldn’t leave. it gnawed at him, making him question things he hadn’t even thought about before.

had he been too quick to assume you were not just friends? maybe you were less than friends itself.

maybe it was the way you’d smiled at jake. friendly, yes, but something in it made him wonder if there was more. what if you were talking behind his back? what if he didn’t know you as well as he thought?

he shook his head, trying to push the thoughts away. it’s nothing, he told himself. she wouldn’t do that.

but what if? what if there was more between you and jake, something he wasn’t a part of? something he didn’t know about?

the more he thought about it, the more irrational it all seemed, but the seed of doubt had already been planted. and it was growing.

work had piled on thicker and thicker, like heavy snowfall, leaving almost no time for yourself or even him. wait, why were you thinking of him at this time?

you didn’t come here to get a boyfriend; you came here for work.

work to fulfill your passion and get ahead in your career.

gain new experiences.

heeseung was a new experience, that much was true. but now, after everything that had happened, you couldn't help but wonder if maybe jake was wrong.

every time you greeted him in meetings or simply passed him in the hallways, his response was distant—almost colder than before. and it hurt more than you’d like to admit, especially because he’d been so warm when it was just the two of you.

had he changed his mind about you? was it all just a casual fling, or was he simply not interested anymore?

you couldn't help but think back to that conversation with jake. "he definitely thinks you're something." had jake been mistaken? had you read everything wrong? or was it possible that heeseung never really felt that way in the first place?

the doubts gnawed at you. you wished you could ask him, but you couldn't bring yourself to. maybe because you were afraid of hearing the truth. or maybe because you didn’t want to risk pushing him further away.

you found yourself constantly second-guessing every interaction with him now, analyzing every look, every word. was he just being polite? or was there something more?

maybe jake was wrong, you thought, but deep down, you knew you were hoping he wasn’t. because, if he was, that meant you were just… nothing. a distraction. someone who got in the way of his real focus.

the thought stung, but you pushed it down. you couldn’t afford to think like that.

“hey girl, are you doing okay?” yunjin asked you, snapping you out of your thought trance. while you were usually sharp and always open to talking, these days you seemed to be very lost in thought while working.

“i don't know, there's too many thoughts going through my head,” you mumbled out as a response. you didn't want to dump your emotions on a poor colleague but she seemed so inviting and open to talk to despite your doubt.

“listen girl, if it were me, nothing beats drowning those thoughts out with alcohol, every once in a while,” yunjin chuckled, presenting a new door to you. you shook your head, getting wasted didn’t sound the most “fun” to you personally.

“okay, well just hear me out. a couple of the drivers and their staff are going out to a club for a change of pace, it’ll be a great networking opportunity and a great distraction, you should come,” yunjin persuaded, urging you.

she paused, raising an eyebrow as if to drive her point home, then added with a mock sigh, "plus, i don't want to deal with beomgyu alone. you know how he gets it."

you glanced at her, feeling the weight of the long days and constant demands pressing down on you. the thought of letting loose, even just for a few hours, was tempting. the last few weeks have been all work, no play. no room for any of the things you used to enjoy—no time to relax, or… think.

"you know, it's been a while since i've gone out," you said, your voice soft, almost uncertain. you didn’t know if it was the exhaustion or the constant racing thoughts, but the idea of spending a night away from all this chaos sounded like something you could use.

yunjin caught the shift in your tone and grinned wider. “exactly! we could use a break. plus, who knows? you might meet someone interesting. networking, remember?" she winked, a playful glint in her eyes.

you chuckled at the thought, but your mind was still stuck on heeseung. had he really been that distant lately?

you shook your head slightly, trying to shake off the thought. maybe this night out could be just what you needed to stop overthinking things.

"alright, alright," you sighed, giving in. "i’ll go. but only because you begged me."

yunjin beamed, her eyes lighting up with a victorious gleam. "perfect! let's get ready then. it's going to be fun, you'll see."

as you both started to make plans, a small part of you wondered if a night out would really be enough to clear your head. but for now, the idea of getting away, even just for a little bit, was a welcome relief.

later that night you slipped on whatever cheap thrifted dress you could find at the nearby store and waited for yunjin and beomgyu outside the club.

“she actually showed up, told you. $20 bucks now,” yunjin demanded, extending an open hand to beomgyu, waving to you with the other, to which beomgyu grumbled and pulled out his wallet.

as you stepped in, the thick crowd greeted you—a sea of bodies moving to the rhythm, lights strobing in every direction, and laughter mingling with the music. the noise seemed to swallow everything, every thought, every worry. it was almost too much.

but you were here now, caught in the whirlwind of it all, with beomgyu and yunjin leading the way through the crowd.

"let’s grab drinks first!" yunjin shouted above the music, making her way to the bar without even waiting for a reply. beomgyu followed closely, his eyes scanning the area as he pushed through people.

you glanced around, your mind still buzzing, but you couldn't shake the sense that even in this chaotic, loud atmosphere, your thoughts would still drift back to the same place—the one you’d been trying to forget.

“hi there, what can i get started on your tab?”

“something light, maybe fruity, i don't really drink,” you yelled over the loud music which swallowed up your voice whole, the bartender nodding as a response.

“make it two! put it on my tab,” an unfamiliar voice called out behind you, as you turned around to thank the patron you were taken aback.

choi yeonjun?

"uh… thank you?" you said cautiously, unsure how to react. your confusion must have shown because his smile widened, but it seemed to lack the usual competitive edge you'd seen from him before.

"of course, beautiful," he said, his voice smooth and calm, a stark contrast to the chaotic atmosphere around you. "come sit with me?".

your mind was racing. why was he here? you barely knew him outside of the competition, and even then, heeseung had never seemed to hold a conversation with him that lasted more than a few words, usually being some string of “hes an asshole”, or “he needs to fuck off,”

you glanced around for a second—yunjin was too far off, lost in conversation with beomgyu. the booth in front of you seemed too quiet, too intimate for the tension that lingered between the two of you.

“uh, sure,” you said, hesitating. despite the oddness of the situation, you found yourself following him as he led the way to a secluded booth in the back, away from the crowded dance floor.

as you sat down, the silence settled between you, but it wasn't uncomfortable. more like… expectant. you couldn't shake the feeling that there was more to this than just a friendly offer for a drink.

"so," yeonjun began, his voice surprisingly calm, "fancy seeing you here. not exactly where i’d expect to run into someone from the pit crew."

you raised an eyebrow, still trying to wrap your head around why he was talking to you at all. "yeah, not really where i expected to see you either," you replied, unable to hide the confusion in your tone.

yeonjun’s eyes twinkled with amusement as he leaned back in his seat, seemingly unfazed by the strange situation. "well, considering the rivalry, i guess we’re both out of our element, huh?"

it was a strange thing to say, and the silence stretched between you. you had no idea how to respond to that. after all, the only thing you'd ever known about him was how heeseung spoke of him—a rival. someone who pushed him, someone who made things harder.

but here he was, calm and collected, sitting in front of you, offering drinks like nothing was out of place.

you couldn’t help but wonder if there was more to this than just a friendly chat. and something about it irked you.

“yeah i guess,” you replied dryly.

heeseung would love to be anywhere but here. preferably in your presence, but he was still uncertain and doubtful of you. even more so when he sees choi fucking yeonjun chatting you up and giggling over any little thing you say.

filled with a new kind of anger, he threw back any remaining alcohol in his glass as he stood up from his seat.

“hey wait, you shouldn’t stand up so fast. you just threw back one of their strongest, calm down,” jake makes an attempt to pull heeseung down by the cuff of his leather jacket.

heeseung rips his arm away preparing for confrontation; to yell at yeonjun. afterall he had some residual pent up rage from earlier.

"why the fuck are you talking to y/n?" he shouted, his voice rising above the throbbing beat of the music, sharp and aggressive. every muscle in his body was coiled tight, ready for confrontation.

you, yourself were taken aback, more so than yeonjun was.

yeonjun didn’t flinch, his expression calm, almost amused as he leaned back in his seat. he was still too comfortable, too unbothered. "what?" he shouted over the music, a smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth. "i can talk to whoever i want. why the hell does it concern you?"

"because it does concern me!" heeseung growled, taking a step forward. his voice was low, almost dangerous now, as the tension between the two men thickened like smoke. "she's not some random girl for you to flirt with, yeonjun."

yeonjun raised an eyebrow, his smirk only growing wider. "flirt?" he repeated, his voice dripping with mock amusement. "you think i was flirting with her?"

"you're always so dramatic, heeseung," he said, his tone almost playful now. "maybe you're more worried than you'd like to admit."

you could see it in his eyes, that challenge. and now you couldn't help but wonder what was really going on between these two, or why heeseung's sudden rage was so deep-seated.

yeonjun laughed, the sound harsh and bitter, like it was meant to get under heeseung’s skin. "you’ve got some serious issues if you think i'm only talking to her to get to you," he replied, leaning back into his chair, unaffected by the tension.

"you’re still acting like this is just some game, aren’t you?" heeseung growled, stepping forward until he was almost in yeonjun’s face. "you think you can just waltz in here, throw a few compliments, and toy with her heart?"

yeonjun’s eyes flickered with amusement, but his smirk was sharp, venom filled. "so? what’s it to you?" he taunted, his voice low and challenging. "you like her or something?"

"it’s none of your business," heeseung spat, but even he could hear the edge of doubt in his own voice.

"why are you so mad?" yeonjun cut him off, an eyebrow raised in mock curiosity. "because i talked to her? or because you’re scared she’s actually interested in me?"

heeseung’s chest heaved with every breath, his mind racing. "don’t play with her, yeonjun," he growled, voice low and dangerous. "she’s not a prize for you to win. she’s not a game."

"so you do like her," yeonjun said, his smirk widening. "funny, because you’re still acting like you’re scared to admit it. pussy. you do like her.”

heeseung felt the heat rise to his cheeks, his frustration and confusion colliding into a mess of tangled emotions. "no," he said, voice coming out sharper than he meant. "she just deserves better than you, that's all."

as soon as the words escaped his lips, his entire body froze. no. he hadn’t meant to say it like that. he hadn’t meant to say no.

heeseung felt his stomach drop as your eyes widened, brows knitting together in surprise. the confusion on your face mirrored his own. he wanted to take the words back. wanted to grab them out of the air before they settled between you like a thick, suffocating fog.

no. he just said no.

you just wished the ground would swallow you whole as your throat constricted and your mouth went dry.

he took a step back, swallowing hard, his hands fidgeting. "y/n—" he started, but his voice was swallowed by the music, drowned out by the chaos around them.

you shook your head, a look of uncertainty clouding your expression. "no, I—" you started, but you couldn’t find the right words either. you were as lost in this conversation as he was.

you stood off, running towards the exit praying you could make it back to your hotel without embarrassing yourself any further. you heard heeseung's footsteps run to catch up with you, pulling you back by your sweater.

you stared at him for a long moment, unsure of what to say. and then, after what felt like an eternity, you spoke. "you didn’t mean that, right?"

heeseung’s heart dropped. "no," he muttered, shaking his head desperately. "I didn’t mean it like that. I—"

but the words felt hollow, meaningless now. the damage had been done.

“heeseung, you don't get it do you? you don't just get to lead me on, call me pretty, bring takeout whenever i don't have it in me to get my own food, all for you to say no. fuck off,” you confront to his face. he looks like he wants to say more, but it's no longer about defending himself.

he fucked up.

“oh no, looks like she’ll need someone to comfort her, how about you sit this one out hm?” yeonjun mocked back giving a fake pout, running up to her to escort her out.

heeseung couldn’t meet your eyes as you looked back a final time for anything you could tell from his face. he was afraid of what he might see. afraid you’d realize the truth, the mess he had made out of everything.

yunjin quickly took notice and rushed outside to check on you, sending yeonjun back to the club to chat up whatever other girls there were.

she found you sitting on the low wall outside the club, your arms wrapped around yourself as you stared into the night. the cool breeze did nothing to calm the tension in your chest.

“y/n, you good?” she asked, crouching down beside you.

you didn’t look up. “yeah. just… a lot, i guess.”

yunjin let out a sigh, her expression softening. “you sure? yeonjun can be a little… much.”

“it’s not him,” you mumbled, shaking your head. “it’s… everything else. heeseung, and the way things are getting weird between us.”

yunjin was quiet for a beat, processing your words, she had a lot of questions going on in her mind, but right now all you needed was comfort. “weird? in what way?”

“like… i don’t even know. i’m starting to think i might be imagining it all,” you admitted, your voice low and uncertain.

she tilted her head, thinking. “you’re not imagining it. there’s something between you two. but maybe… he’s just scared of it too. or he doesn’t know how to handle it.”

you looked at her, frustration laced with confusion. "what if i'm the only one who feels it?"

“then let him catch up,” yunjin said, giving your shoulder a small squeeze. “he’ll figure it out eventually. if he’s smart.”

you couldn’t help but let out a soft laugh.

he had no idea how to fix this.he wasn’t even sure if it was possible at this point.

─── ♡

the next race approached slower than ever and heeseung was nowhere in the right mindset for this race. he considered telling his manager he wasn't fit, but he couldn't succumb to what yeonjun would want him to do.

everything was slipping through his fingers—his focus, his drive, his very reason for being here, but most importantly you.

he hasn't seen you any more than once after you had walked out of the club with tears streaming down your face. all he heard was you were moved to jake’s pit crew for the time being.

his motivation was lower than ever

he stared at the car in front of him, but it felt like he was looking through it, not at it. every tool, every dial, every piece of equipment that should have been familiar, had suddenly become a reminder of everything he felt like he was losing. and it wasn’t just the race. it was you. it was him—yeonjun.

"heeseung, you’re not fit to race today, are you?" his manager asked, his voice slicing through the thick fog of his thoughts. "you look off. need to talk about it?"

he couldn’t fall apart. not like this. but the weight of it all was suffocating. the thought of telling his manager he wasn’t fit to race seemed like the easy way out. and yeonjun would love that, wouldn’t he? he'd love to see him crumble. love to see him give in, admit defeat.

no. he couldn’t.

but damn it, he was tired. his heart felt like it was being pulled in too many directions, each one pulling him further away from where he needed to be.

he couldn’t quit.

he wouldn’t quit.

but why did it feel like he was already losing?

"you good?" his manager asked again, his voice softer now, seeing the frustration in his expression.

heeseung nodded, forcing a smile, but it was thin. fragile. "yeah, just… a little tired."

he rolled up to the starting position once again, surprised at how he even made it through qualifiers with this low motivation.

the race started, but it felt like heeseung wasn’t really there. as the lights went out, the cars roared to life, but his mind was a million miles away. the engine roared, but his thoughts drowned it out.

he took off in the pack, but he felt sluggish, disconnected. his hands gripped the steering wheel, but it was like they were moving on their own, not in sync with his racing instincts. he knew he should have been focusing on the track, on the turns, but instead, his mind kept circling back to everything but the race.

yeonjun. the argument. you. the way things had changed.

heeseung felt the weight of it all settle into his chest. every corner seemed a little sharper, every move a little slower. his car didn’t feel right. or maybe it was just him. maybe he wasn’t right.

it didn’t take long for yeonjun to slip past him, and that just made it worse. heeseung clenched his jaw, but instead of retaliating, he just let his car drift further behind. the familiar rush of competition wasn’t there. it felt more like a slow-motion crash waiting to happen.

every lap was torture. he could hear the radio buzzing in his ear, but it sounded like static. his mind was a jumble of thoughts, and none of them were about racing.

by the halfway point, heeseung was already at the back of the pack.

he wasn’t focused. he wasn’t present. and it hurt to admit it, but deep down, he knew he wasn’t giving it his all.

“annnnd yeonjun wins yet another grand prix,” “heeseung is really off his game today” “yeonjun really is better, you were right,”

the comments from the crowd, press, and fans were eating him alive, more so than being away from you.

back at the hotel, heeseung thinks back to what everyone’s been telling him earlier. you were only in for one season.he only had til the end of the season to pull something off.

he was determined to win you back before the season ended and you went back home to where he might not ever see you again. he only had 167 days, but he was determined to race for your heart, and win you back.

─── ♡

you glanced down at the engine in front of you, the pieces more familiar than they used to be. the way everything clicked together, the hum of the motor, the fine-tuned adjustments—it was all starting to make sense now.

working on jake’s car felt different, though. not in a bad way, just… different. you caught yourself missing the way heeseung’s car seemed to fit you. the precision with which you had become familiar with it—the way you almost felt like you could predict its needs without thinking.

but today, with jake’s car, you were making small mistakes. not big ones, but enough to frustrate you. the adjustments didn’t come as easily, the instinct wasn’t there like it was with heeseung’s.

and there it was again—another thing that reminded you of him.

you couldn't shake it. everything came back to him—whether it was the car, the track, or just the way he used to talk to you like he didn’t need to say everything. like you just knew what he was thinking.

you sighed, wiping your hands on the rag and trying to refocus. no, it wasn’t about him. it couldn’t be. you were here to work, to get better.

it started with roses being delivered to your hotel room. sure they wouldn’t last due to your busy schedule and your poor ability to take care of flowers, but it was the thought that counts.

your phone buzzed and you dreadingly opened it to find a text from him. your heart sank, ashamed at the way it still beat a little faster when seeing his name.

heeseung: hope we can talk sometime, enjoy the flowers. don’t feel pressured to respond or anything. read 6:42 am.

you sighed and closed your phone. at least he kept in mind that you wouldn't want to reply.

over the next few weeks, things fell into a strange rhythm. races continued, engines roared, and the work never stopped. but there was an undeniable difference in the air—like the world was quieter somehow.

the excitement of the grand prixs, once a rush of adrenaline and passion, felt more distant now, less meaningful without the comfort of the familiar faces you once shared them with.

you found yourself in cities you once dreamed of visiting, but this time they felt a little less magical. belgium, with its food you could feast on from the eyes only, no longer held its allure.

a part of you was wishing you could go back to the times when everything felt like an adventure—when heeseung would call to ask if you wanted to grab a drink or wander the streets after a long day.

but now, there was an empty space where that spark used to be. you were still going through the motions—working with jake, troubleshooting engine issues, spending your days in the pit—but your mind always drifted back to him.

the quiet messages that arrived every so often did little to ease the weight on your chest. they felt like an attempt to reconnect, but they never fully erased the hurt.

in the netherlands, you received another delivery—this time, a box of sweets with a note that simply said “thinking of you”. you hadn’t responded to the previous messages, but heeseung’s attempts were constant. his name still lit up your phone, and every time you saw it, there was a flutter in your chest, though you hated how easily it pulled you in.

at the next grand prix in austria, you saw him briefly. he was standing by his car, talking to the crew, his jaw clenched in concentration. when his eyes landed on you, there was a moment—just a second—where everything seemed to stop.

but before you could look away, heeseung turned back to his car, his shoulders tense, and you knew that talking wouldn’t be easy. you didn’t even know if he was ready to face you yet.

so, you didn’t approach him.

you told yourself it was better that way.

the text messages continued, though. a late-night text about the race in belgium. a message wishing he could see you before the dutch grand prix. small gestures that, at their core, were attempts to remind you that he was still there, still thinking of you. but they were hollow to you.

you hadn’t responded to a single one. the last time you had heard his voice had been that awkward conversation after the club in barcelona, and things hadn’t gotten better since then.

still, the flowers kept coming—different varieties, different colors. sometimes roses, sometimes peonies. each one a reminder of the distance between you two. each one a reminder of what had changed.

in germany, during a pause between practice rounds, jake leaned over, handing you a cup of coffee. “you gonna talk to him anytime soon?” he asked, glancing over at heeseung, who was deep in conversation with his team.

you sighed, taking a sip of the coffee and looking down at the pit floor. “not yet.”

“you know he’s trying, right?”

you didn’t answer. because, honestly, you weren’t sure. maybe heeseung was trying. maybe the roses, the texts, the little gestures meant something. but the hurt from the way things ended was still too fresh, and you weren’t sure if you could get over it.

the next grand prix was in italy, and as the days passed, you kept your distance, both physically and emotionally. the tension between you and heeseung was unspoken but ever-present.

he would look over at you from time to time, his gaze lingering for just a second before he turned away. you hated how much it hurt to see him. you hated how much you wanted things to go back to the way they were, but you couldn’t ignore the walls that had been built between you two.

you began to doubt if heeseung even knew how to fix things. and maybe that was the hardest part. you were waiting for him to make the right move, but the longer you waited, the more you wondered if he would ever really try.

─── ♡

you weren’t sure how much more you could take. burying yourself in work hadn’t helped, but at least it kept your mind busy.

the constant races and late nights in the garage were wearing you down. the machines felt familiar, but the work felt hollow now.

your phone buzzed constantly with notifications you didn’t want to see. and yet, when you saw his name, your heart betrayed you every time.

the roses had been a small gesture, but it didn’t make you feel better. they were just another reminder of how things had fallen apart.

you closed your phone with a sigh. you didn’t want to talk, but you weren’t sure if you were ready to cut him off completely.

after a long summer, the weight of everything seemed unbearable. a messy explanation to your boss, and you were on a plane home. you needed to be away from everything to do with lee heeseung.

home felt like a strange comfort, a place where everything was still. the noise of work and racing faded as soon as you stepped through the door.

you needed the space to breathe, but even here, heeseung lingered in the back of your mind.

the familiarity of home was soothing, but it also reminded you how far you’d drifted from everything.

you couldn’t shake the feeling that things were left unresolved. no matter how much time passed, the questions still remained.

the first thing you did of course? tell karina everything. your one safe lifeline who had been there through your ups and downs and unfortunately had to see you through another one of your downs and it hurt for her to see as much as it hurt for you to experience yourself.

you two sat on the couch, the familiar weight of the silence between you, before you spoke up.

"i don't even know where to start," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.

karina glanced at you, her brow furrowed in concern. "you don't have to start anywhere. just tell me what happened."

you let out a shaky breath, feeling the pressure rise in your chest. "it’s heeseung, karina. i thought… i thought it was something real. but now i’m just… i don’t know what we even are anymore."

karina's hand rested on yours. "what do you mean? what happened?"

you felt the flood of emotions, the frustration, the hurt, all pouring out. "he keeps sending these messages, these little gestures like nothing’s changed, but everything’s changed, and i don’t know if i can just go back to how things were." you managed to hiccup out tears, your nose stinging trying to hold back tears.

karina’s expression softened. “you deserve more than that, y/n. if he’s not being clear with you, then maybe it’s time you start focusing on what’s best for you, not waiting around for him to figure it out.”

you sighed, wiping at your eyes. "i know, i just… i don’t want to give up on him, i need a sign, i'm so confused,”

“i'm here for you, okay?"

you nodded, feeling a small sense of relief in her comfort.

it was then you heard a knock on the door of your apartment, the two of you looking confused.

“did you order food?” she asked curiously trying to put the pieces together of why there was a door knock. you shake your head and watch as she gets up from the couch to see who it is.

you peer around the corner hoping to get a look at who it might be, but your ears find out sooner than your eyes.

“JAKE FUCKING SIM?” you heard karina shout. you stand up quickly rushing to the door to see for yourself, and there he is, in the flesh at your apartment door.

“jake? what are you doing here?” you asked stunned to why your boss (in a way) is here and not in italy preparing for the races ahead.

“we got wind from yunjin and beomgyu you went back, and he wanted to see you. he’s at some park he said was nearby,” he states matter of factly, annoyed that his best friend made him come along to sort out his girl issues.

“oh. okay.” well now there was really no avoiding it. he had flown all the way back to talk to you, and in a way made your heart pound a little faster knowing he had done all of that.

karina was still in shock at seeing her celebrity crush standing right at your doorstep, her mouth agape. this sparked an idea, and you were more than thankful for karina being there for you.

“jake, this is your first time here in this city, no? karina why don't you show him around town?” you suggest, watching karina turn pink and giggle, jake seeming non opposed to it.

karina dropped you off at the closest park you could think of, you weren't quite ready enough to text him and ask where, but lo and behold there he was. nervously waiting, bouncing his leg anxiously to see if you would even show up.

he looks up from his phone and immediately shoves it in his pocket, his full attention on you.

“hey,” you greeted, trying to keep the tension out of your voice as you approached the bench.

heeseung looked up, his eyes flicking over your face with a mix of uncertainty and hope. “hey,” he replied, his voice low but soft. “thanks for meeting me.”

“i didn’t think you’d want to see me,” he murmured, looking at his hands.

you shook your head. “it’s not about wanting or not wanting, heeseung. it’s about sorting things out.”

“i’m sorry, y/n,” heeseung said after a long pause. his voice was low, almost pained. “i’ve been… i’ve been a mess, and i need to apologize for how i acted.”

“i… i fucked up,” he said, his voice breaking slightly. “when i said… when i said no that day, i didn’t mean it. i didn’t mean it at all.”

your heart skipped a beat. the memory of that day, when heeseung had said no—when you had thought it was over, when everything had crumbled around you—came rushing back. you had been confused, hurt, feeling like you’d been cast aside, and all the emotions you had pushed aside came flooding back in that moment.

“what do you mean ‘you didn’t mean it’?” you asked, your voice trembling slightly.

heeseung ran a hand through his hair, frustration and guilt clear in his expression. “i… i was scared. scared of how much i felt for you. scared of how real everything was getting, i got scared of yeonjun, honestly, i didn't want to admit it in front of him of all times, and i wanted it to be special,”

“because you are special, it wasn’t a no because i didn’t care. it was a no because i was too scared to say what i really felt. but i’m here now. i’m not running away this time, and i'm going to do it right,” he continued on trying to compose himself and complete his sentences.

“i was scared when you and jake were talking that day in canada, scared of what you might've said after i lost, and i know it's silly-”

“i wasn’t being honest either,” you continued, the weight of your words settling between you. “jake told me… he said you saw us going somewhere beyond just 'friends'.” you paused, swallowing hard. “and that scared me.”

you glanced at him briefly, the tension in your shoulders easing slightly as you let out a shaky breath. your heart raced, but you forced yourself to keep going.

“i'm sorry for just running and never letting you explain yourself. i was too selfish in not wanting myself to get hurt, i never heard you out,” you sniffle out. the air surrounding the two of you is raw and full of emotion, but it's what's needed.

"we can try again," he said softly, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "if you're willing. no more running."

you bit your lip, holding back a small, relieved laugh as your heart swelled. "yeah," you said, nodding. "no more running."

heeseung leaned in slightly, his voice dropping to a softer, more intimate tone. "i’m sorry for all of it. for not being honest with you sooner. for not being there when you needed me."

you shook your head, a smile breaking through. "i’m sorry too," you whispered, finally feeling the weight of it all lift. "for not trusting you."

there was a long pause before you both let out a breath, as if some invisible weight had been lifted. the park bench beneath you both felt like a safe place, a starting point for whatever was coming next.

you both had been through your fair share of confusion and misunderstandings, but now, as the conversation unraveled, it felt like the beginning of something new.

heeseung reached for the takeout bag beside him and handed it to you with a small smile. "i know it’s not five-star, but… i thought it might be fitting," he said with a slight laugh. "our first dinner together."

you couldn’t help but laugh, your heart warming at the gesture. "you remembered," you teased, taking the bag from him.

"of course i did," he said softly, his eyes lingering on yours.

for the first time in a while, the tension between you melted, leaving a sense of calm in its place. the night was still young, but now it didn’t feel like it was filled with uncertainty.

─── ♡

things were finally back in motion, and the atmosphere had shifted. the team seemed lighter, more energized with each race. heeseung had you by his side, his lucky charm, and it felt like everything was falling into place again.

after a push from jake, the managers agreed to reassign you back to heeseung’s pit crew, and you couldn’t be happier. the excitement of working with him again was undeniable, and heeseung’s spirit's seemed higher every time you were in the garage together.

the long summer had passed, and heeseung had found his rhythm again. he was more confident, his focus sharper, and you couldn’t help but smile at how much he’d grown. it wasn’t just work; you two were becoming closer outside of the races, too.

fall had come and gone, and the competition had never been fiercer. heeseung and yeonjun were neck-and-neck, trading wins as if they were competitors in a never-ending battle. mclaren and ferrari, back and forth, each race felt like the next turning point.

as the final race approached, the excitement in the air was electric. everyone was asking the same question—who would come out on top? the reigning champion, lee heeseung, or the new rising star, choi yeonjun?

you could feel the pressure building. heeseung was more focused than ever, his energy a blend of intensity and determination. the weight of the championship was heavy on both drivers, but you could tell heeseung was ready.

“we’ve got this,” heeseung said, glancing over at you. the quiet confidence in his voice gave you the reassurance you needed.

you nodded, giving him a small smile. “just like always.”

the race started, and the tension was palpable. every turn, every lap, it felt like the world was holding its breath. yeonjun was a fierce competitor, but you could see how well heeseung was handling the pressure.

the final laps approached, and the two drivers were locked in a battle for the lead. you watched, heart pounding, as they fought to the finish line.

it all came down to this. one final push for the championship, and it was anyone’s game.

your stomach dropped. you couldn’t hear the roar of the crowd, couldn’t see the final push, but you could feel it in your chest, as if the very air around you was holding its breath.

and then, in one seamless motion, heeseung swerved into the inside line. he was gaining, inching closer to yeonjun. the tension was unbearable, every second dragging on forever.

with the finish line just a few meters away, heeseung’s car crossed it, just barely ahead of yeonjun’s.

“LEE HEESEUNG CROSSES THE LINE 0.479 SECONDS AHEAD OF CHOI YEONJUN MAKING HIM YOUR 2024 FORMULA ONE WORLD CHAMPION!”

heeseung quickly and eagerly comes to a stop and gets out of the car with a wide grin on his face as yeonjun holds a bitter scowl.

as yeonjun passes by to get water he mutters foul words to heeseung but he could care less as his full attention is on you, who he sees running towards him, jumping for a hug.

“you did it hee! i'm so proud of you, you deserve it the most!” you shout with glee.

heeseung grinned, his eyes sparkling with exhaustion and relief as he pulled you into a tight embrace. the weight of the world seemed to lift off his shoulders, and in that moment, everything felt perfect.

“thank you, pretty,” he whispered, his voice barely audible over the noise of the pit. "you’ve been with me through it all."

you pulled back slightly, your hands still resting on his shoulders, searching his face. the adrenaline from the race still buzzed between you, but now, it was just the two of you, standing in the middle of all the chaos, sharing something far more intimate.

“i mean it, hee. you worked so hard for this, and you earned every single bit of it,” you said, your words filled with genuine admiration.

heeseung’s smile faltered just for a moment, his hand reaching up to brush a strand of hair behind your ear. "i couldn’t have done it without you." his voice was soft, but there was an intensity behind it that made your heart skip a beat.

“i’ve been meaning to ask though, be my girlfriend? i don't think i can deal with this no label ‘friendship’” he smiles cupping your face grinning up at you. he already knows the answer.

“of course,” you smile with pride

your eyes locked, and for a second, it felt like time stood still. the world around you faded into the background. it wasn’t about the race anymore, not about the trophy, but about the two of you standing there, sharing a moment you both desperately needed.

heeseung leaned in slightly, his face inches from yours. the air between you felt charged with something unspoken, and the weight of everything that had built up between you finally settled.

you didn’t pull away. instead, you let yourself be enveloped by the warmth of his presence, the comfort of knowing you were both here, together, after everything.

you felt his lips press onto yours, gentle yet electrifying, as if the world around you had disappeared. everything was quiet except for the soft hum of the celebration in the distance.

it was brief, but it felt like everything you’d been holding back for so long was finally let go. when he pulled away, his forehead rested against yours, and for the first time in a long time, there was peace between you.

“you’re not alone in this,” you murmured softly, your voice just above a whisper.

heeseung’s expression softened even more, his hand still resting on your cheek, his thumb brushing across your skin. “i know,” he breathed out, his lips barely touching yours.

it was a moment, a simple one, but one that felt like everything was finally falling into place.

─── ♡

that night the two of you went out for your signature couple meal, shitty chinese take out, enjoying it in the trunk of his car on the beach underneath the stars above you.

the night air was cool, but the warmth between you two kept everything just right. after the chaos of the race, you found solace in the simple act of being together, eating takeout in the back of his car as the waves lapped gently against the shore.

"this feels perfect," you said, leaning back against the car, taking in the quiet beauty of the night.

heeseung smiled, glancing at you from across the small space, his fingers absentmindedly toying with a fry. "yeah, it does. just… us."

the stars above glittered, a silent reminder of how far you'd come since the beginning. no more confusion, no more running away. just the two of you, figuring it out together, one race at a time.

"we should do this more often," you murmured, your voice soft but content.

"definitely," he agreed, his hand finding yours and giving it a gentle squeeze.

as the last eggroll was eaten and the takeout box was tossed aside, you both leaned back and stared up at the sky. there was no need for words now, no more doubts. just the sound of the ocean, the warmth of the night, and the certainty that whatever came next, you'd face it together.

─── ♡

a/n: im surprised i managed to write this much, halfway through writing this i was searching up the name and apparently someone on wattpad wrote a racer fic with the same name, AND starring heeseung. swear i was not copying, on skibidi ☝️. THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH to @hyuukais for beta reading this fic in its monstrosity. anyways hope you guys enjoy the fic cause im sick n tired of being sick n tired if writing this fic ><

@ coqhee 2024. all rights reserved.

[zucchinibread777books]

ACOTAR Book Review Pt.5 (final)

For my final post about ACOTAR, I will talk about the way that the author's internalized misogyny is reflected in her work. (In the future my reviews won't be this long, I was passionate about this one lol). Spoilers ahead 1. All of the major female characters fit into the sister, mother, lover roles. They lack the depth to create meaningful relationships between them and the main character. The closest female character she has to a friend (Alis) does not have any characterization to make her relationship with Feyre genuine. She is simply a mother to her sister’s children, who was forced to take care of Feyre. 2. Despite this being a fantasy world, the patriarchy exists. Every position of power is filled by men (except Amarantha, who I will discuss later). Even with how power is decided, the brothers must compete to replace their father. There is no mention as to whether Tamlin or Lucien even have sisters. Why in this completely made-up world are men the power holders? 3. This is a basic critique but the way she uses male and female is a big ick for me. It’s very reminiscent of how misogynistic men use the terms. Similarly, the only curses/slurs she uses throughout the text are bitch and whore, two words rooted in misogyny. They don’t fit well with the fantasy language and, in the case of Rhys, calling him Amarantha’s dog would have been more fitting and more insulting. 5. Both Nesta and Elain are very vain and empty from the start and they hardly gain any character.  Nesta’s character is particularly self-contradictory, as she despises her father for not helping the family and later takes on Feyre’s role as protector, yet she never helps Feyre herself and actively undoes Feyre’s work by spending her money. This was half-hearted and only contributed to the lack of well-rounded female characters in the story. 6. Amarantha contradicts my point about men being the main power holders, but her character also fits into a specific sexist trope. The female villainess, often a subordinate to the main male antagonist (which is alluded to) must obtain all of her real power by tricking and stealing it from the powerful male characters. Her trickery often revolves around her using her evil female sexuality (I say with a hint of sarcasm) and she makes rash decisions based on emotions and sexual obsession with the main male character. She is spurred by her tragic backstory of male violence in which her sister is “fridged”. But of course, the real victim is the man whom she sexually abuses. There is a lot to unpack here. 7. Unimportant female characters throughout this novel are also treated poorly. Lucien’s love was killed because she was of a lower rank and he loved her. The girl Tam met the night of the Great Rite "asked him" to hurt her. The girl Feyre pretended to be was murdered and strung up naked. Amarantha’s sister was murdered by the man she loved. This is violence that is specific to women throughout the plot. Many of these details were unnecessary, especially the girl being naked when strung up. 8. The SA in the Great Rite scene. It is very common in romantic novels to portray SA between the MC and love interest, and it is often meant to read as romantic. What does this teach the reader? How do the author and reader view romance if the ideal involves the man sexually assaulting the woman? This continues when the second love interest, Rhys, not only forces himself into Feyre’s mind and invades her desires, but later forces her to wear revealing clothing, gets her drunk, and touches her, which she has no memory of. He also kisses her. Finally, he enslaves her, branding her arm as a sign that he owns her. Like cattle. And yet Tam’s character is so poorly written that the audience is likely to side with Rhys and prefer him just because he is interesting. These scenes are not romantic and should not be portrayed as such. They should absolutely not have some poor excuse like he couldnt control his animal instinct or he was actually helping protect her. It is a real issue that plots like this only reinforce.

It's harmful and the romance doesn't work.

[aebi12]

"Resentment" - Chapter 8 [AemondxRhaena]

Summary

He is the cause of her sufferings. He took her dragon, her betrothed, and her father. Now, he will also take away her future by having to marry him.

With so much history and bad blood between Rhaena and Aemond, their forced union has everything to fail, except that the proximity will make them discover that perhaps they have more in common than it seems.

AU - the Greens win the war.

Masterlist with previous chapters

Tags: enemies to lovers, romance, angst, drama, eventual smut, hurt/comfort

Please remember that english is not my first language, so I'm sorry for the mistakes...

***

Ser Criston is waiting for him at the entrance to the great sept.

“I didn't know you were coming today,” Aemond says as he joins his master-at-arms, “You should have joined us in the seats of honor.”

“Thank you for your consideration, my prince, but I preferred to say my prayers in private this time.”

Aemond simply nods and places his hands on his back, walking slowly alongside Cole, the aroma of the incense beginning to suffocate him after the long hours that have passed.

“Where is Lady Rhaena?”

“Outside, I presume, entertaining the people.”

Once again, he thinks to himself.

“That is a smart move on her part.”

Aemond snorts, “She loves being the center of attention.”

“Maybe my prince should be next to her. After all, she is your betrothed and you should share together every activity of the Festival”

Aemond tilts his face to look at the warrior, “You are starting to sound like my mother.”

“You know that I take that comment as the greatest of compliments, my prince.”

"Hmm"

The young man observes his former master for a few seconds. Had it been his mother who had sent him to the sept that afternoon? Did Alicent want to make sure everything went as she expected? He did not doubt that Cole would accept the mission, the man lived to please the dowager queen. A part of his mind, the one that felt great appreciation for ser Criston, internally scolded him for thinking that. The man was a great believer in the Faith, he accompanied Alicent every year during religious ceremonies, it was not surprising that he was here now.

“Did you see my mother today?”

“After breakfast,” Cole nods, “I escorted her to Queen Ellyn's chambers. The midwives agree that she is healing as expected, so she joined your mother in the gardens now that she can walk almost unassisted."

Aemond just nods again, not really knowing what to say. He had never thought much about his sister-in-law, his relationship with her had been rather limited and the size of the Fortress had ensured that he only crossed paths with her on the required occasions. He assumed the news Cole was giving him was good, although that didn't change the fact that he had still to sacrifice himself in an arranged marriage because Ellyn hadn't been able to live up to what was expected of her.

The sun shines dimly in the sky when they leave the sept, even so, he squints his good eye for a few seconds to acclimatize it to the change in light. Aemond spot his betrothed in the crowd – much larger than the day before – that has gathered around her.

“She is giving money to the poor”

Aemond notices the bag of gold in the girl's hands and internally wonders where she got it from. She doesn't really have anything to her name, and she shouldn't have funds for charity either.

“Of course she is,” he replies with almost a growl.

Criston Cole smirks, and Aemond crosses his arms behind his back, somehow feeling annoyed by the situation.

“Go, my prince, your duties are not over yet.”

The man bows and disappears among the people. Aemond, however, still stands by the stairs for a while longer, his gaze fixed on the scene before him, Rhaena delicately extracting the coins from the red velvet pouch and walking among children, mothers and old people with different ailments who extend their hands and look at her with reverence. Pathetic. Still... he knows what is expected of him, so he crosses the distance between them with long strides, the guards not needing to make a way for him as people stumble aside when they see him approach, few of them daring to greet him.

Aemond can notice the change in the girl's relaxed demeanor at hearing his name being called, her posture tensing, her face quickly turning to meet his. For a few seconds distrust and antipathy are reflected in her violet eyes, though she quickly masks her feelings and softens her face, her lips forming a sweet smile as she approaches him, and bows.

“Cousin,” she says, as if they had not spent the last few hours together and this was their first meeting of the day, “I did not expect you to join me here”

Aemond takes a step closer to her, takes her elbow and, not wanting the others to hear what he is going to say, lowers his head, bringing his lips closer to her ear. “Where did you get the money for this new show of yours?”

Rhaena shivers under his touch, but makes no move to push him away. Instead, to Aemond's surprise, she lifts her face and looks directly at him and says under her breath, "I doubt helping those in need is considered a show."

The tone of her voice invites confrontation, but Aemond prefers to maintain his cool, “Who gave you the money?”

For a brief moment, her cousin looks like she wants to respond with one of her usual scathing comments, but she changes her mind and sighs, “If you must know, it was Lord Jason who gave me the money at the request of the queen Alicent”

"On my mother’s behalf?"

Rhaena nods, “She, like me, thought it would be a good idea for the Crown to support those who need help.”

“Have you seen my mother?”

The question practically escapes his lips. The prince had not seen Alicent since the banquet in the throne room on the first day of the festival. The tone of his voice must give something away, because Rhaena looks at him curiously before answering, “I dined with her last night.”

Aemond receives the information with annoyance and a mixture of pain. His mother, who said she preferred to dine alone every night, had sought her company and not his. Why? To spy on her? To get to know her more? To spy on him? His thoughts are lost for a few seconds, and he almost loses his composure when he suddenly feels his cousin's hand on his, still holding her elbow. Her touch is warm, too warm for a late fall afternoon. Rhaena's delicate fingers take his, releasing her from his grasp and he allows it.

“Now, if I may, my prince,” she says, “There is a special function I must attend.”

As she leaves his side, leaves behind a subtle trail of rose perfume that is a more than welcome change after hours of inhaling incense. Aemond closes his eye for a few seconds and, when he opens it again, his cousin has begun to walk alongside a pair of septas, and several children.

Your duties are not over yet, Cole's voice echoes in his mind.

Suppressing a curse Aemond walks towards the small group. He doesn't have much trouble catching up with the women, and a hint of satisfaction runs through his body as he sees Rhaena's annoyed expression when he comes to stand next to her.

“I will walk alongside Lady Rhaena,” he says to the septa, who immediately understand his words and wait for them to take the lead, leaving them alone.

"Why are you doing this?" She asks, almost in a frustrated whisper, “We both know you don't want to be here. Can't you just let me enjoy something just once?”

“No,” he answers easily, smiling sideways, though looking straight ahead at the narrow, smelly streets of King's Landing.

The people happily greet Rhaena, who hands out more coins, tossing some into the air and giggling.

“This is a game for you, is it not?” comments the prince, “I hope you know that, if it weren't for the presence of the royal guards, these people would not hesitate to kill you to steal your gold.”

“I see that you have a negative impression of everyone and everything around you”

“I am just trying to open your eyes, cousin,” he looks at her harshly and then his gaze wanders to the crowd, some walking alongside them and others going about their daily activities, “I don't understand how you put up with it.”

"With what? Walk alongside the common people?”

“Being kind to those responsible for the death of our dragons.”

It is clear that she didn't expect him to bring that up as Rhaena stops abruptly and her gaze connects with Aemond for a few brief seconds before she looks away and walks back to his side.

“The children and women who received the gold hardly participated in that atrocity,” she finally replies.

“Still, they probably celebrated as much as the others when they destroyed the dragon pit.”

There are a few seconds of silence before she speaks again.

“They also suffered during the war”

“Do you justify their actions?”

“By no means,” her voice and look show here indignation, “I only understand the reasons that led them to confront the crown.”

Aemond snorts, “What could you know about such reasons? You hardly suffered the worst of the war, hidden in the fortress of the Valley, reading only through scrolls what was happening in the kingdom.”

“I could say the same about you,” she responds and walks with more firmness and long strides, obviously angry, “I doubt that the prince regent was cold and hungry during the military campaigns.”

“Still, I fought and…”

“It is not the same,” she cuts him off, “These people depend on the Crown, on our family. Neither of the two sides knew how to guarantee their safety and basic needs, it was more than obvious that they were not going to be happy with us if they died of hunger, diseases and were violated by the soldiers"

“War is brutal for everyone”

“For some more than others”

Aemond wants to reply, but the truth is that he has no way of denying what she says. He had seen with his own eyes the crimes committed by soldiers on both sides of the war, he himself had been cruel and indifferent to the Riverlands.

“And giving them gold is going to remedy that?” he asks, mockingly, “Or are you doing it just to ease your conscience?”

“At least I try to help take care of the town that, soon, will be in some way my responsibility,” her voice sounds full of bitterness, “You should try to do the same, for a change, my lord.”

“And what do you think I have done since I have been part of the royal council?” Aemond begins to lose his temper, annoyed by the clear tone of indifference and the comment that sounds almost like a reproach, “I am the hand of the king, every day I make decisions to govern the kingdom. I contribute much more than you with your false charity."

Rhaena smiles, mockingly, “What a good job you do!” Her hand points to the beggars gathered outside the bars, cantinas and the dirty streets, full of waste and with half-naked children running through them, “My lord.”

The girl turns to the septas, and exchanges a few words with them. The women point to a building at the end of the street and Rhaena, ignoring him, goes with them towards the place.

Aemond follows them and enters what appears to be a very old house with a large patio where several children are gathered. A feeling of strange familiarity overcomes the prince as he observes the oaks growing in the courtyard and the small pond between them. It is not until an elderly septa joins them that he recognizes the place.

“Lady Rhaena, my prince,” the woman's wrinkled eyes rest on him, “It is a pleasure to have you here again after all this time.”

His betrothed's curious gaze rests on both of them for a second, but when Aemond does not respond and the old woman says nothing else, she is the one who speaks, “It is our pleasure to be here. Septa Elaine mentioned that the children prepared a…”

Aemond disconnects from the conversation and walks towards the neglected pond where Helaena had spent hours playing with the insects and small frogs that lived there, much to the frustration of Alicent, who would have liked her to participate more actively in the games with other children, even if these were orphans of the city.

How long ago was that? Many years now, even so... if he closed his good eye he could see his sister's platinum hair sparkling in the sun while she caressed the creatures and whispered words incomprehensible to them. A lump form in the prince's throat, and he looks away and studies his surroundings. The place, which he had visited quite frequently during his childhood, had not changed much. Alicent had dragged them into her charity work from a very young age, at least him and his sister, since she had never gotten Aegon to participate in her activities. How comes he hadn't thought about this place again? When was the last time he had visited him?

Probably after what happened in Driftmark.

Yes, it had to have been around that time. Alicent had had to take over the government of the kingdom with Viserys being so ill. Helaena had married Aegon and Aemond... Aemond couldn't stand the looks of sadness and revulsion that people at court and in the city throw at him. Instinctively, his hand goes to the leather patch covering his wound, caressing it briefly before placing them together on his back.

He shouldn't be in this place. He doesn't like to remember the past. He doesn't like to think about Helaena.

But the memories come to his mind anyway. Helaena as a girl with her green velvet dresses accompanying Alicent through the city. Helaena entering the great sept to marry Aegon. The entire town had come that day to celebrate and congratulate his sister, chanting her name and asking her to fly with Dreamfyre. Helaena cradling the twins. Helaena broken after Jaehaerys' death. And the letter. The letter telling him about her fate. That had been his fault too. He had been distracted from his most important mission, and had left his fragile sister at the mercy of her enemies.

Aemond lowers his head as he feels the lump in his throat once again. He doesn't like this place. Deciding to leave, he walks in the direction of Rhaena, who is sitting in a rickety chair listening to children dressed in extravagant clothes reciting things that Aemond makes no effort to listen to.

“It's time to go,” he says with a hard voice.

“My prince, we are…”

Rhaena's voice cuts off as her gaze meets Aemond's. His violet eyes stare at him and she must see something in them, because she simply nods and makes an excuse to the septa, who don't try to hold them back either. The girl hands the woman the bag with what's left of the gold, and silently follows Aemond, who gets into the carriage that the royal guards have already brought.

The return trip passes in silence, although he hardly notices it, still tormented by memories that he has kept deeply repressed for years. When the Red Keep appears before them and the carriage stops, he makes to leave immediately, but Rhaena's voice makes him stop.

"Wait!"

Aemond, irritated, fixes his gaze on her and raises his eyebrows in an unspoken question.

“What color should I wear tomorrow?”

The question catches him off guard and seems to surprise even Rhaena herself.

Aemond doesn’t think about it too much, the memory of the girl still in his mind, “Green. Use green tomorrow”

------------------------------------------------------------------------

So... Aemond POV. What yopu guys think?

Also, don't you feel excited after all the content we got from the actors for season 2?? I know I'll suffer (team green here, and yes, we do exist) but I hope is as entertaining as season 1.

Please let me know your thoughts about this. Also thank you so much for taking your time to read my story.

Btw I wrote this chapter while listening Mystery of love by Sufjan Stevens (just in case someone is interested in these kind of details)

@ammo23 @qyburnsghost @niocel @ithoughtulikedme @avidreader73 @jenmakeusin10 (let me know if you want to be tagged)

Read on AO3

[tia-marcelyy]

I'm a budding writer writing a Marauders fanfic. Anyway, I made a prologue and I need opinions.

The fanfic is focused on the romance between the protagonist and the marauder James Potter (my great love) an avid thing is that the prologue was originally written in Portuguese and maybe I translated something wrong.

One piece of context is that this prologue is set in the past, when the Marauders were between 14 and 15 years old.

Prologue

It was another late afternoon in the Gryffindor common room, Sirius was dozing on the couch with his legs spread and snoring like a pig being slaughtered.

James planned to stuff a ball of paper into his friend's mouth to stop the unbearable sound. James plucked a sheet of paper from one of the books littering the hall, rolled it into a small ball and placed it gently in Sirius's mouth. The noise stops, for a short time. Meanwhile, Remus was accompanied by a girl with wavy black hair and slightly tanned skin.

They were arm in arm, and whispering in each other's ear. "Seriously, why James?" Lupine whispers indignantly into the girl's ear.

— Don't judge my tastes please — she rolls her eyes — Do you think I should tell him how I feel? Even if he's madly in love with Lily? - She bites her nails.

— It's better to tell, after all, if you don't tell, then they start dating, get married and have a child — The boy laughs — Who knows.

"Lupin, you're not helping." — Sorry, it's just that I dreamed about it today — He lets out a deep sigh — Tell him, don't wait for that feeling for yourself, you'll see it's reciprocal.

The two looked at each other as if they wanted to laugh, it was obvious that the feeling was not reciprocated James had been in love with Lily since he first saw her. And yet, that didn't stop the poor girl from falling in love with one of her best friends. — Now enough talking about James, I'm already getting sick of this conversation — He hugs the girl closer — Tomorrow is your birthday!

— You haven't forgotten — she opens a big gummy smile — Do you already know what you're going to give me?

— I was just thinking about it, what could a 14 year old girl want? Sirius said to get you a bra. “A bra? I don't think I need it right now. I hope he doesn't give me a bra, or I might be recognized as his girlfriend, that wouldn't be nice.

They both look disgusted at the thought of Sirius and her together. James sees the two approaching, and slaps Sirius on the head, who gets up scared, spitting the ball.

“Ophelia,” James yells unnecessarily. “Where'd you go girl!? “I was in class, and you should be too.

Remus looks at Ofelia with an arched eyebrow at the sight of James, and pats her friend on the back twice.

"Sirius and I were taking a break, you know." Shrugs, "I mean, Sirius took a break because I had to listen to his unbearable snoring." James slapped Sirius on the head again, who was rubbing his eyes trying to wake up.

"I don't snore," Sirius retorts in a sleepy voice.

Lupine sits next to Sirius, crossing his legs, waiting for the girl to take the initiative.

"It's looking good today James." She lets out a goofy smile.

— And what day am I not in? — he sits down beside Lupin — You look pretty today too, Felia.

Sirius glares at the two, and then Lupine and then starts laughing.

— What are you laughing about? — plops down on Sirius's lap.

— It's nothing, just something I realized now — he hugs the girl

— Do you know what I'm going to give you for your birthday? “A bra?

“No, what a stupid idea.

He rolls his eyes, a classic sign that he was lying, he was sure to get her a bra for her 14th birthday.

“Good, I would hate to get a bra. "Me too," James says seriously.

The whole group laughed, the girl rested her cheek on Black's shoulder while his arms still held her by the waist, she felt welcomed like an older brother taking care of his little sister. Even though Sirius was only a year older, she saw him as a brother, someone she told everything to, he was there for her first period, first kiss, in her first fight, anyway, he had been in her life since she was 11 as he spilled grape juice on her clothes, on the day of the sorting hat he was going to choose her house.

But she didn't tell him about her secret crush on Potter, clearly because more than anyone else she knew Sirius would disapprove. Sirius knew that James was in love with Lily, and if he found out that his best friend was also in love with him, he would want to protect his feelings at all costs. But it was already obvious that the brown-eyed girl was in love with James' extremely blue eyes.

"And you James, what are you going to get her for her birthday?" - Lupine leans against Sirius too - Panties?

The girl pulls a strand of the boy's hair, making him smile slightly. "Actually" James stands up "Wait a minute."

The boy runs off, and the three look at each other in confusion. — I'll give you sweets, lots of sweets — Lupine pulls one of Sirius's arms to his head — Cafuné, please.

Sirius rolls his eyes and then cafunes the boy. “You know me well, and don't expect me to owe them to anyone.

"You share?" Sirius lets out a hearty chuckle. "You created the concept of selfish."

Ophelia sticks her tongue out at him, and then James comes running in with a red box in his hand. This makes the girl move away from Sirius and Lupine jumps up and sits on the sofa.

“I know your birthday is tomorrow,” he pants, “but I'm looking forward to seeing your reaction. He takes the girl's hand for her to stand up, they are too close to each other, Ophelia could feel James' rapid breathing as he panted. He was grinning from ear to ear as he tried to open the box.

"Okay, now close your eyes. She covered her eyes with her hand, Sirius looked puzzled as Lupine looked excitedly over his friend.

— Turn your back — he turns her with his hands on her shoulder — This gift is for when we're on vacation and you feel alone away from my beauty — he laughs — something to remind you of our friendship.

She felt something cold brush against her neck, it was a place, but the only thing she was aware of was James' breath next to her ear as he tried to put it on. “You can open your eyes now,” he says cheerfully. She opens her eyes slowly and looks up at the gold set, with a J placed in a circular Pearl.

— I know it sounds weird — He takes the necklace with the letter O out of his pocket — Happy pre-birthday!

She opened a big smile for this gesture of affection from her friend, hugging him tightly, not with the same strength she hugged when he helped her feel better after hearing jokes about her body. It was like this was the last time, that she would smell his unique scent that was a mixture of sweets and his mother's perfume, the last time that she would feel his comforting arms. It made her feel strange, she couldn't let go of him.

“I think she liked the present.” Black's laugh echoes through her head. The laugh fails due to puberty, its cologne strong and as if it was all going to be over in a matter of seconds for her, and then she goes back to Sirius hugging him tightly.

"Hey are you okay?" He hugged her tighter. She glanced at Remus, who was confused looking at her, and then she jumped into his arms, everything seemed so fleeting.

How could she live without stealing his candy, or sticking stickers on his forehead, and her life advice, the gossip. She looks at James who is smiling at her.

"I love you very, very much." she gives Remus a kiss on the cheek.

"Wow, did James manage to do that just by giving you a necklace?" Remus kisses her on the cheek.

— Group hug — James goes to the girl, hugging them both — Promise me you won't take that necklace off even in the shower. She chuckled as she felt Sirius' hands on her stomach.

- I promise - she starts laughing with the tickles. They continued to tickle the girl until the inspector arrived and sent everyone to classrooms.

But in the end, that whole feeling was right, because on the same night of that day, her father begged them to let her go see her sick grandmother.

Management let her, as long as she came back soon. She didn't even have time to say goodbye to her friends, she just packed a small suitcase and went to her father.

The feeling in her chest only increased, after all her grandmother had been dead for a few months, and her father was not the man she could trust the most. And that night, a flame inside her was extinguished, months went by and she didn't go back to school. That was the last time she smelled and heard the laughter of her friends, she was absolutely sure that she would never see them again in her life, that this would be her last memory with the marauders.

Sorry for the dashes and quotes, I used a weird translator. Please I need opinions

(My God how I love James Potter!!)