#what the hell have i gotten myself into
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Alright, so the current planned chapter count for Scales of Justice is sitting at a tentative 108. Jesus.
#what the hell have I gotten myself into#i mean it’s super subject to change ofc#impossible to be very definitive this early into a 2+ years project#scales of justice#my wips#tim drake#red robin#dc red robin#batman#dc#dc comics#🐍
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So I'm coming back after a long hiatus. Turns out real life and college can be very demanding. I'm also getting back into writing which has been its own relearning process.
Not sure if anyone is interested but I'll be working on a Sam centered SPN fic series that crosses over with the Buffyverse. Basically, the PTB see signs of the apocalypse engineered by Azazel along with some other threats so they send Sam back (along with other special children) in time to the Hellmouth to circumvent it. It's technically AU from season 1 but will reference quite a bit from season 1 and 2 of SPN along with some other crossovers. I've technically been marinating this idea since Kripke ditched the idea of the special children in Season 2.
So fair warning on the insane ramblings and comments you might see on this blog in the next few months.
#sam winchester#spn#my fic#what the hell have i gotten myself into#my writing#buffyverse spn crossover verse
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I have pulled THE ULTIMATE AUTISM!!!
Basically I had this one clip from the Barbie movie trailer playing in my head for a while and decided to take a bunch of Morphmen and throw them in.
Aka Edward can't handle all the other Morphmen
Design credits below read more
(Designs in order of appearance: The Og Morphman (yes, if you pay close attention, the torso is covered in wireframes like the arms and legs, though let's be honest, the red shirt's better), Ben Satt's design (@/stuffbendrew on Twitter), Matt Radway for both Merph and the unfortunate eagle Morphman (@/matt_radway on Twitter), Toast's design (@crispytoastyt , also on Twitter) and finally, Edward Henson/my design, the one having a mental breakdown right now.)
Imma die now
death
#izztreme#the mighty misadventures of morphman#mmm#morphman#edward henson#morphmen#many morphmen#of different designs#what the hell have i gotten myself into#the pinnacle of my autism#these designs belong to their respective designer#and once again the original is the original#just a mini comic#just a drawing
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I'm going to rotate them in my mind.. the angst potential for my poor poor Rook . .... .
#dragon age#datv#dragon age veilguard#datv spoilers#veilguard spoilers#Alios Ingellvar#they are going to go through so much post game and post Davrin.. they were gonna build a future together#god#if i do keep dav dead then i feel like Rook is gonna get closer to Bellara after everything#they were already pretty close#but i also want to have Dav alive like what i say and what Rook says that theyre almost hopeful Dav and Assan are okay because no body#so im like NO BODY NO DEATH and maybe things happened post Ghilain'ain fight that they survive#or i keep them dead oh my rook is going to spend so much time with uncle and the griffons at arlathan forest#please it was so criminal to have their last convo being about the future#I thouGHT THEY WERE GONNA MAKE IT it makes sense letting a leader lead the other team . i was going with Mass Effect 2 logic#Dragon Age Davrin#ive gotten so much brain worms#the way i drew yhese sketches yesterday before the final and i was SO HOPEFUL#girl im reloading to see the romance scenes at the end i am putting myself through that all over again just for that my god i will#4 hours of hell for this man
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Hey I'm graduating college in may and I just kinda realized that I'll be Done Done with school after that. Not fake-done like I was graduating high school, where I'd have to go to college at the start of the fall. And not fake-done like I was in any of my semesters I took off.
Done Done. As in I accomplished my degree, and I won't ever have to go back to school if I don't want to. What a beautiful, beautiful thought.
#speculation nation#i enjoy learning but not in school. school is the soul killer. there's a reason it's taking me 10 years to get my bachelors.#failed classes and switched majors and part time school (so i could work and pay my way thru) and semesters taken off...#for 9 and a half years now it's been a fucking shadow hanging over my head.#just gotta keep going just gotta persevere. slow and steady wins the race.#and well im nearly there now. holy fuck tho i didnt miss full time school lmfao#i went to part time a few years back to save my fuckin self bc it was just *impossible* to do full time school And work to support myself.#and even part time school plus a job was horrible. but i did it anyways.#and here i am now with my lovely life insurance from my awful paternal death. life sure happens as it will huh.#which will let me complete school in a neat 10 years. graduated high school in 2015 and college in 2025. wild.#not glad my dad died but im grateful that ive gotten this opportunity afterwards.#sure is strange the ways life goes.#anyways yeah im in deadlines hell rn with all these fucking projects but ONCE I FINISH THEM#i will be done with this semester. my second to last semester.#theyre releasing class schedules today for next semester too and im a little antsy. cant edit until next week regardless#but i wanna KNOWWWWW what i got. best case scenario i get my 3 classes i need to graduate#plus my orchestra and bowling. so i have a full 12 credit hours. to be full time still.#im scared of not having gotten 3 classes bc theyre selectives yea so i dont need These classes Specifically#but also it'll be a pain in my fucking ass if i have to go scrounging. and i wanna have my first choices...#but we'll see. i selected several fall-through options and i dont need any single specific class to graduate.#so long as i have 3... thatll be enough...#AUGHHHHH college!!!! im almost done!!!!! i might get straight As this semester!!!!!! exciting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i need to email my professor about setting up the book meeting lol. i should do that today.
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“Welcome to Heaven” is the Disneys’ vibe
“Hell is Forever” is the Pixars’ vibe
#new Disneys be like ‘ooo this place is so cool and everybody’s singing!’#meanwhile new Pixars show up and go ‘what have I gotten myself into’#pixar#the pixar au#pixar au memes#my au#disney#hazbin hotel#welcome to heaven#hell is forever#lady luxo rambles
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ill never get over how fucking awesome it is to be an adult. the horrors persist and life can still suck sometimes but now when i have a bad day i can get in my car and go on a drive to get myself a treat and i can buy myself fun stuff and yeah shits hard but id take this over being a kid or teenager any day every day forever.
#herbert speaks#being a kid was the worst thing ever. being a teenager was complete and absolute hell#but now? i finally know what its like to be alive and free#and yknow what??? im glad i lived#im glad i didnt kms#because if i died before adulthood i never would have known what its like to drive to the grocery store and buy whatever i want#if i died before adulthood i would never have gotten to see a cool thing online and check my bank account n see its in my budget and BUY IT#being a teenager is literally hell but oh my god they mean it when they say shit does get better#like i didnt believe it at the time but holy shit independence and freedom is AWESOME#im so fucking glad i didnt kill myself when i was 15 because i never would have even know what this is like
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I cannot rely on one person for me to be happy my happiness isn't allowed to be only triggered by one person I can be happy at every little thing it doesn't matter about this one person
#im in too far fucking deep again#and when he leaves again its gonna hurt just as much. but more.#finch posts#he makes me happy beyond belief and i goddamn love having a friend who knows me inside out and has done for so long#but. your love is my drug by kesha comes to mind. its fucking intoxicating talking to him#and last time he left (we were 12 and his parents moved their family) it made me kinda depressed and i was so fucking needy to talk to him#and now we're three and a half months into rekindling the friendship and i feel the same like i get really sad already >#>if i just dont talk to him for a couple of days without like a trip or friends or smthn else to entertain me#songs are starting to remind me of him#fuck fuck fuck#1am in the morning makes me too honrst#i think im still a bit (a lot) in love with them#ohmygod i dont even think it i know it#i should go to sleep earlier#it would stop me having so many thoughts#i havent seen him in multiple years but i can still imagine kissing him#oh fucking hell fuck my actual whole fucking life#and his closest friend where he lives now well they were starting to be a bit of a thing and surely its not fucking normal>#>to daydream about kissing a girl who ive literally never seen a photo of#holy fucking hell i am such a hopeless poly bisexual#WHY DONT WE REWRITE THE STARSSSS#oh this is circling round to my suspicions i might be kinda like demi romantic??#i should buy myself flowers . wait. no. i grow flowers 🫠#well i could still buy myself flowers . and i should#i need to go to the beach#cant wait to get a proper drivers license#if youve made it this far down my crisis hi youve gotten to the stage where u can tell what songs im listening to!
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ngl gamers, I think I'm gonna inevitably lose to the hormones and depression in the near future XD
Can't bring myself to be active cause I'm using a lot of energy to not vent post all the time. But fuck it, into the tags I go!
#I want NO MESSAGES regarding this. let me just be upset and alone#you spend most of your life trying to not succumb to sick brain but honestly I don't think it's worth it in the long run#my life is for better or worse....decent. but I've lost the drive and happiness to really DO anything a long time ago. like whats the point#the only reason I havent killed myself yet is cause Im too lazy (and dont have access to a gun for a quick getaway)#and I'm saying all this DESPITE having stuff to look forward to in the near future. it's like AUGH whats the POINT IM always gonna suffer#why does mental health take such a toll on ppl. this shit sucks ass. and I still feel excited for things in the future too? somehow?#but I also really want to die so. idk man. idk. maybe if I fall in love with someone then I can be distracted but all my walls are up#what's the point in anything anymore. *I* have to take the steps to improve myself and my situation#and I'd rather die. anyways who wants to make a pact that once we reach 40 we will marry each other#that might be fun#also my brain has gotten so bad that I am literally considering joining a hiking club to get out more and I FUCKING HATE HIKING#but I should probably do something out of my comfort zone to push myself and who knows maybe I will find a new passion#but let me tell you about the anxiety - oh BOY it's starting to act up again. hahahha#ah well sometimes you just need to scream your feelings out in the tags to get a lil clarity from the brain fog#one day I will fucking die/kill myself but for now I'll just try to make the best out of. whatever the hell this stupid life is. *shrug*#(but hey if any professional hitmen are reading this. feel free to. heh. you know ;) )#also I need to get back to art#gotta do my paid work and that one pic I lined months ago. and clay stuff *continues to bed rot another week because hahahahahahaha*#ah I wish I didn't fail all those years ago. then I would be free. I wish I was free#ok goodnight I promised myself that I would do paid work when I wake up tomorrow so hopefully no more migraines -pray emoji-
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Sunday doodles
#you ever just *puts feet on the wall*#or sit upside down off the side of your bed#i saw a post earlier this week I've been trying to find about fearing god#i read it but didn't have time to share my thoughts and i forgot to save it to my drafts so i lost it#anyway they talked about fearing god in service today#the overlap of related events like this scares me all the time#like... i know this stuff just happens and they had this sermon planned for months and it's coincidental#''but what if god is actually real and this is him trying to talk to me? what if he's trying to move me back on track?''#that's something i can't help but think#i'm starting to think I'll never know what is real and whether there's a god and if i really am setting myself up to burn in hell#i have to make a choice whether to leave my friends and hide who I am and go back to the church#or be myself and enjoy my time alive knowing what could be waiting for me when I go#I know that sounds extremely dramatic but it's something I think about a lot#it's one thing for someone to have never gotten to known God#but some say that the one unforgivable sin - the only thing that can keep you out of heaven forever...#...is knowing god and accepting him in your heart but then turning your back on him#I've done those rituals; been baptized and taken communion and said the famous prayer#if that unforgivable sin is true then I guess i've already made my choice; there really is no going back for me haha#damn right that god is scary lol#not tagging the game because I monolouged too much lmao#doodles#sunday doodles#depressing sunday doodle posts have arrived once again#dw im chilling today just lost in thought#was able to put in pto so i get the day to reflect on the very important things 21 year olds think about#things like ''what could've been'' and ''how do i want to draw my next fluffy boy''
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new coach just sent me the off-season training program and um. mom im scared
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Guy who never reads fic: finally gets a pairing in his mind he wants to read fic about
Ao3:
#c4rg0f1l3s#I've been thinking about vesconte jopson so much it's so evil#ouh my god oh my god fuck oh my god what the hell have I gotten myself into#and ??? crozier vesconte im???????#.aaiaueehggggghhrghuyh#iykyk btw
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like I’ve been generally fine in my teenage years (no more unhappier than from the average dose of teen angst) but man do I miss the excitement I’d get from those fantasy Geronimo Stilton books
#like my worldview on life was so different then#Obv it was Pri school so it was more chill (I was arguably too chill and messed up my psle)#But you know what I’m actually so fine w that! I’m happy that at least in some point in my life studies weren’t hanging over my head#Like a guillotine#And I would find so much joy in the little things like hell yeah new book!!!#because a part of me feels like I’m never going to feel that undiluted childlike joy ever again#And I’ve killed myself so much on every exam since#baby me deserved to have a little happiness in her life#I still think 12 is way too young for the first major board exam#Esp one so heavily surrounded by stigmas/reputation/prestige of the school you get into#like you’re setting a child up for the rest of their life and they’re not even a teen yet#thankfully it’s gotten a lot better (in terms of tangible change in sg societys mindset)#but god was it brutal for me in 2018/2019#anyways trip down memory lane over heheh
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I feel like I'm v academically smart but oh my god I am fucking hopelesssss at anything people related
#i feel so stupiddddd#like theres this cloud around my brain i cant c past it#i dont kno if im js easily confused or if im so scared 2 ask 4 elaboration/clarification i feel i need 2 js brute force my way thru things#that i havent fully understood#coz if i ask2 many times it js pisses ppl off#an then i dont get help. an they get annoyed an think im stupid. so we get nowhere#ughhhh#im js so terrified of annoying ppl i js dont do anythin#like @ all!!!!#iv become so fucking boring u wouldvt believe#all my friends manage 2 talk 2 new ppl so easily and can actually carry a conversation#every joke i make falls soooo flat#an every hi gets ignored#i dont talk abt myself enuf or i do it 2 much#or i have no fucking opinion#an dunno how 2 add 2 thr other persons#girl im hopeless#where did my socail skillz go.....#ive always had the fear im annoying sum1 but l8ly its gotten so much worse#i think coz of. the altercation w that 1 irl#UGHHHH#im always operating under thr assumptions he doesnt like me whenever im w him#an idk what 2 say anymore#is there a way 2 get better a socialising w/o annoying ppl or embarrassing urself#idk i think mayb if im more confident itll help#but. how the hell am i doing that chat#mannnnn#i dunno#ive got more 2 say but im gonna reach tag limit😭😭😭😭 goodby#rivers rambles <3
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i NEED more acrylic charm keychains
#i have four now and i need to get more. i just need to set up pypl stuff but i am a coward#one day i will have the means to comm a MS Pop Muzik charm.....[staring longingly]#my never ending agony is having money but not having a way to order things with my own money#which honestly is probably saving me from impulse purchases but MAN#i have gotten the occasional friend gift of one of my pals ordering gifts for me#which is very sweet and appreciated but like ;;;; i feel BAAAAAD ;;;;;#i should be giving gifts not receiving gifts what the hell man!!! /silly /lhj#maybe i'll ask our mom to help us get shit set up after the trip next month i'm just also very scared bc i often hear bad things abt pypl#i keep wanting to open comms myself but again Scared#i just have to eventually do it scared i guess [< said while shaking and crying and screaming(/silly dra)]#bee shouts#forgot how much i love rambling on tumblr#my diery :)
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there is absolutely a lesson about drug safety in here, but I did just spend the entire duration of Frank Ocean's Novicaine, thinking about Armand mixing shit in Daniel's drugs for a laugh
#interview with the vampire#char.txt#i just think that is a DM song in general but the narrative is the only way i could imagine modern human! armand#a very bored med student who crossed his fingers taking the hippocratic oath#daniel is mostly the same. still a guy who takes drugs from someone cuz he wants to bang.#gets 2 hits in and is like What The Hell Have I Gotten Myself Into
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