#what the hell have i gotten myself into
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Alright, so the current planned chapter count for Scales of Justice is sitting at a tentative 108. Jesus.
#what the hell have I gotten myself into#i mean it’s super subject to change ofc#impossible to be very definitive this early into a 2+ years project#scales of justice#my wips#tim drake#red robin#dc red robin#batman#dc#dc comics#🐍
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So I'm coming back after a long hiatus. Turns out real life and college can be very demanding. I'm also getting back into writing which has been its own relearning process.
Not sure if anyone is interested but I'll be working on a Sam centered SPN fic series that crosses over with the Buffyverse. Basically, the PTB see signs of the apocalypse engineered by Azazel along with some other threats so they send Sam back (along with other special children) in time to the Hellmouth to circumvent it. It's technically AU from season 1 but will reference quite a bit from season 1 and 2 of SPN along with some other crossovers. I've technically been marinating this idea since Kripke ditched the idea of the special children in Season 2.
So fair warning on the insane ramblings and comments you might see on this blog in the next few months.
#sam winchester#spn#my fic#what the hell have i gotten myself into#my writing#buffyverse spn crossover verse
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I have pulled THE ULTIMATE AUTISM!!!
Basically I had this one clip from the Barbie movie trailer playing in my head for a while and decided to take a bunch of Morphmen and throw them in.
Aka Edward can't handle all the other Morphmen
Design credits below read more
(Designs in order of appearance: The Og Morphman (yes, if you pay close attention, the torso is covered in wireframes like the arms and legs, though let's be honest, the red shirt's better), Ben Satt's design (@/stuffbendrew on Twitter), Matt Radway for both Merph and the unfortunate eagle Morphman (@/matt_radway on Twitter), Toast's design (@crispytoastyt , also on Twitter) and finally, Edward Henson/my design, the one having a mental breakdown right now.)
Imma die now
death
#izztreme#the mighty misadventures of morphman#mmm#morphman#edward henson#morphmen#many morphmen#of different designs#what the hell have i gotten myself into#the pinnacle of my autism#these designs belong to their respective designer#and once again the original is the original#just a mini comic#just a drawing
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I'm going to rotate them in my mind.. the angst potential for my poor poor Rook . .... .
#dragon age#datv#dragon age veilguard#datv spoilers#veilguard spoilers#Alios Ingellvar#they are going to go through so much post game and post Davrin.. they were gonna build a future together#god#if i do keep dav dead then i feel like Rook is gonna get closer to Bellara after everything#they were already pretty close#but i also want to have Dav alive like what i say and what Rook says that theyre almost hopeful Dav and Assan are okay because no body#so im like NO BODY NO DEATH and maybe things happened post Ghilain'ain fight that they survive#or i keep them dead oh my rook is going to spend so much time with uncle and the griffons at arlathan forest#please it was so criminal to have their last convo being about the future#I thouGHT THEY WERE GONNA MAKE IT it makes sense letting a leader lead the other team . i was going with Mass Effect 2 logic#Dragon Age Davrin#ive gotten so much brain worms#the way i drew yhese sketches yesterday before the final and i was SO HOPEFUL#girl im reloading to see the romance scenes at the end i am putting myself through that all over again just for that my god i will#4 hours of hell for this man
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why are so many adventure time fans just straight up stupid. about how stories work. and i dont even mean kids i mean like adult fans just with the absolutely dumbest takes
#i was watching a streamer react to f&c which ok i admit i brought this upon myself#but oh my godddddd#''i think farmworld finn's wife was pb'' even ignoring that one of his kids looks exactly like human huntress wizard WHAT#WHY IN THE HELL WOULD THAT BE TRUE. AFTER THEYVE SPENT S I X S E A S O N S SHOWING WHY PBXFINN COULD NEVER BE A THING#LITERALLY SEVERAL SEASONS SHOWING 1-PB WILK NEVER LIKE FINN BACK THEY ARE INCOMPATIBLE 2-FINN HAS MOVED ON HE HAS ACCEPTED THAT AND GOTTEN#OVER HIS CHILDHOOD LOVE ON HER AND ONLY AFTER THAT THEY WERE ABLE TO FORM A FRIENDSHIP#THATS LIKE ONE OF THE MAIN THINGS OF THE SHOW#WHY THE FUCK WOULD THEY TAKE THAT BACK AND MAKE HIM HAVE FUCKING KIDS WITH HER IN AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE?????????#''did prismo just die in the end of episode 4??? oh no what a mystery'' oh yeah dude they totally killed off one of the most important#characters in like 5 seconds with almost no ceremony. without even acknowledging it. thats totally how character deaths work#this is totally plausible#''what the fuck im gonna get so mad of simon actually becomes ice king again'' ARE YOU STUPIDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD#HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF ''CREATING A CONFLICT AND THEN RESOLVING IT''#HOLY FUCKING SHIT#sorry this is making me go insane a little bit.#adventure time#fionna and cake#every time i see some guy mention pbxfinn and a thing that could have happened i fly into a rage. you are so fucking stupid. you have the#mental capabilities of a child. never open your mouth again.#as a thing* that could have happened
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“Welcome to Heaven” is the Disneys’ vibe
“Hell is Forever” is the Pixars’ vibe
#new Disneys be like ‘ooo this place is so cool and everybody’s singing!’#meanwhile new Pixars show up and go ‘what have I gotten myself into’#pixar#the pixar au#pixar au memes#my au#disney#hazbin hotel#welcome to heaven#hell is forever#lady luxo rambles
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the mtt are lucky they don't have digestive systems and bladders because then they dont have to go through the absolute EMBARRASSMENT that is trying to pee in a damn cup for the doctors and not being able to pee not once. not twice. but also dropping the goddamn cup into the toilet. they are so,,,,,, SO lucky
#im so pissed at myself for choosing to go before the appointment. like what yhe hell man#DUMBASS!!!! DUMBASS MOVE!!!!!!#new kink just dropped reverse omorashi. the despair of trying to be able to pee but you fucking CANT#idk if ive gotten a bit more sensitive to needles but goddamn i didNOT like getting my blood drawn earlier#it was sooo soooo sooooo gross like dude. thats MY BLOOD. COMING OUT OF MY BODY!!!!!#get that foreign object needle out of my damn arm and leave my blood alone#i dont know which of the mtt would feel like that anyways#maybe killer because seeing the blood would be a bit of a wake up from the dissociation hes always going thru ans thats a nonono#like oh god hes actually here and part of the body and this is happening rn and thats HIS BLOOD#perchance. who knows. im about to down like 3 gallons of water#WORK BLADDER DAMN IT WORK!!!!!!! WORKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!#actually maybe all aspects of doctors appointments are like that for killer#the appointments are solely for caring for his body and all that so hes forced to be aware of all the shit hes got going on#no killer you cant just pretend not to see the several broken bones you have says the doctor#the doctor is horror and he's purposely making the appointment as long and drawn out and shitty as possible#just to see killer squirm and look ever so slightly more uncomfortable than he normally does. horrorkiller i love#dust is outside waiting for killer and when he comes out he looks slightly terrified#killer says man dude your husband is a fucked up doctor#dust says thats your husband too bitchass now shut up we get free healthcare#tricule rant
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ill never get over how fucking awesome it is to be an adult. the horrors persist and life can still suck sometimes but now when i have a bad day i can get in my car and go on a drive to get myself a treat and i can buy myself fun stuff and yeah shits hard but id take this over being a kid or teenager any day every day forever.
#herbert speaks#being a kid was the worst thing ever. being a teenager was complete and absolute hell#but now? i finally know what its like to be alive and free#and yknow what??? im glad i lived#im glad i didnt kms#because if i died before adulthood i never would have known what its like to drive to the grocery store and buy whatever i want#if i died before adulthood i would never have gotten to see a cool thing online and check my bank account n see its in my budget and BUY IT#being a teenager is literally hell but oh my god they mean it when they say shit does get better#like i didnt believe it at the time but holy shit independence and freedom is AWESOME#im so fucking glad i didnt kill myself when i was 15 because i never would have even know what this is like
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I cannot rely on one person for me to be happy my happiness isn't allowed to be only triggered by one person I can be happy at every little thing it doesn't matter about this one person
#im in too far fucking deep again#and when he leaves again its gonna hurt just as much. but more.#finch posts#he makes me happy beyond belief and i goddamn love having a friend who knows me inside out and has done for so long#but. your love is my drug by kesha comes to mind. its fucking intoxicating talking to him#and last time he left (we were 12 and his parents moved their family) it made me kinda depressed and i was so fucking needy to talk to him#and now we're three and a half months into rekindling the friendship and i feel the same like i get really sad already >#>if i just dont talk to him for a couple of days without like a trip or friends or smthn else to entertain me#songs are starting to remind me of him#fuck fuck fuck#1am in the morning makes me too honrst#i think im still a bit (a lot) in love with them#ohmygod i dont even think it i know it#i should go to sleep earlier#it would stop me having so many thoughts#i havent seen him in multiple years but i can still imagine kissing him#oh fucking hell fuck my actual whole fucking life#and his closest friend where he lives now well they were starting to be a bit of a thing and surely its not fucking normal>#>to daydream about kissing a girl who ive literally never seen a photo of#holy fucking hell i am such a hopeless poly bisexual#WHY DONT WE REWRITE THE STARSSSS#oh this is circling round to my suspicions i might be kinda like demi romantic??#i should buy myself flowers . wait. no. i grow flowers 🫠#well i could still buy myself flowers . and i should#i need to go to the beach#cant wait to get a proper drivers license#if youve made it this far down my crisis hi youve gotten to the stage where u can tell what songs im listening to!
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ngl gamers, I think I'm gonna inevitably lose to the hormones and depression in the near future XD
Can't bring myself to be active cause I'm using a lot of energy to not vent post all the time. But fuck it, into the tags I go!
#I want NO MESSAGES regarding this. let me just be upset and alone#you spend most of your life trying to not succumb to sick brain but honestly I don't think it's worth it in the long run#my life is for better or worse....decent. but I've lost the drive and happiness to really DO anything a long time ago. like whats the point#the only reason I havent killed myself yet is cause Im too lazy (and dont have access to a gun for a quick getaway)#and I'm saying all this DESPITE having stuff to look forward to in the near future. it's like AUGH whats the POINT IM always gonna suffer#why does mental health take such a toll on ppl. this shit sucks ass. and I still feel excited for things in the future too? somehow?#but I also really want to die so. idk man. idk. maybe if I fall in love with someone then I can be distracted but all my walls are up#what's the point in anything anymore. *I* have to take the steps to improve myself and my situation#and I'd rather die. anyways who wants to make a pact that once we reach 40 we will marry each other#that might be fun#also my brain has gotten so bad that I am literally considering joining a hiking club to get out more and I FUCKING HATE HIKING#but I should probably do something out of my comfort zone to push myself and who knows maybe I will find a new passion#but let me tell you about the anxiety - oh BOY it's starting to act up again. hahahha#ah well sometimes you just need to scream your feelings out in the tags to get a lil clarity from the brain fog#one day I will fucking die/kill myself but for now I'll just try to make the best out of. whatever the hell this stupid life is. *shrug*#(but hey if any professional hitmen are reading this. feel free to. heh. you know ;) )#also I need to get back to art#gotta do my paid work and that one pic I lined months ago. and clay stuff *continues to bed rot another week because hahahahahahaha*#ah I wish I didn't fail all those years ago. then I would be free. I wish I was free#ok goodnight I promised myself that I would do paid work when I wake up tomorrow so hopefully no more migraines -pray emoji-
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Sunday doodles
#you ever just *puts feet on the wall*#or sit upside down off the side of your bed#i saw a post earlier this week I've been trying to find about fearing god#i read it but didn't have time to share my thoughts and i forgot to save it to my drafts so i lost it#anyway they talked about fearing god in service today#the overlap of related events like this scares me all the time#like... i know this stuff just happens and they had this sermon planned for months and it's coincidental#''but what if god is actually real and this is him trying to talk to me? what if he's trying to move me back on track?''#that's something i can't help but think#i'm starting to think I'll never know what is real and whether there's a god and if i really am setting myself up to burn in hell#i have to make a choice whether to leave my friends and hide who I am and go back to the church#or be myself and enjoy my time alive knowing what could be waiting for me when I go#I know that sounds extremely dramatic but it's something I think about a lot#it's one thing for someone to have never gotten to known God#but some say that the one unforgivable sin - the only thing that can keep you out of heaven forever...#...is knowing god and accepting him in your heart but then turning your back on him#I've done those rituals; been baptized and taken communion and said the famous prayer#if that unforgivable sin is true then I guess i've already made my choice; there really is no going back for me haha#damn right that god is scary lol#not tagging the game because I monolouged too much lmao#doodles#sunday doodles#depressing sunday doodle posts have arrived once again#dw im chilling today just lost in thought#was able to put in pto so i get the day to reflect on the very important things 21 year olds think about#things like ''what could've been'' and ''how do i want to draw my next fluffy boy''
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these cats are a lot less scared of loud noises than they used to be, which is nice because i hate distressing them (this is their home! they live here!!). however on the other hand it does mean that turning on the stove fan when they start bothering me in the kitchen is no longer a guarantee that they will stay out of my business for any amount of time. trials and tribulations.
#('bothering me in the kitchen' read: constantly headbutting my elbow while i'm trying to chop vegetables)#they saw me with the vacuum and were like oh HELL no. five minutes later: *peeking out from behind a corner* you done yet queen?#(i wasn't. but it was nice that they kept coming to check)#the nice thing about being your friend's go-to catsitter is when they have a family emergency you have a built-in way to do#nice stuff for them#like all their other friends are like ahhh i wish there was something i could do to help i hate not being able to do anything#and i'm like you little babies. watch this *has a key to their house and knows where all their shit is so can clean and cook for them*#i did invite one of our mutual friends over tomorrow to help me make food#so that should be nice!#kittehs#my posts#sidenote how do people with pets keep their floors clean. like are you just constantly sweeping/vacuuming(/mopping???) or what?#this is one of the reasons i haven't gotten a cat myself. i don't really want little bits of litter all over the floor
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new coach just sent me the off-season training program and um. mom im scared
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Guy who never reads fic: finally gets a pairing in his mind he wants to read fic about
Ao3:
#c4rg0f1l3s#I've been thinking about vesconte jopson so much it's so evil#ouh my god oh my god fuck oh my god what the hell have I gotten myself into#and ??? crozier vesconte im???????#.aaiaueehggggghhrghuyh#iykyk btw
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like I’ve been generally fine in my teenage years (no more unhappier than from the average dose of teen angst) but man do I miss the excitement I’d get from those fantasy Geronimo Stilton books
#like my worldview on life was so different then#Obv it was Pri school so it was more chill (I was arguably too chill and messed up my psle)#But you know what I’m actually so fine w that! I’m happy that at least in some point in my life studies weren’t hanging over my head#Like a guillotine#And I would find so much joy in the little things like hell yeah new book!!!#because a part of me feels like I’m never going to feel that undiluted childlike joy ever again#And I’ve killed myself so much on every exam since#baby me deserved to have a little happiness in her life#I still think 12 is way too young for the first major board exam#Esp one so heavily surrounded by stigmas/reputation/prestige of the school you get into#like you’re setting a child up for the rest of their life and they’re not even a teen yet#thankfully it’s gotten a lot better (in terms of tangible change in sg societys mindset)#but god was it brutal for me in 2018/2019#anyways trip down memory lane over heheh
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I feel like I'm v academically smart but oh my god I am fucking hopelesssss at anything people related
#i feel so stupiddddd#like theres this cloud around my brain i cant c past it#i dont kno if im js easily confused or if im so scared 2 ask 4 elaboration/clarification i feel i need 2 js brute force my way thru things#that i havent fully understood#coz if i ask2 many times it js pisses ppl off#an then i dont get help. an they get annoyed an think im stupid. so we get nowhere#ughhhh#im js so terrified of annoying ppl i js dont do anythin#like @ all!!!!#iv become so fucking boring u wouldvt believe#all my friends manage 2 talk 2 new ppl so easily and can actually carry a conversation#every joke i make falls soooo flat#an every hi gets ignored#i dont talk abt myself enuf or i do it 2 much#or i have no fucking opinion#an dunno how 2 add 2 thr other persons#girl im hopeless#where did my socail skillz go.....#ive always had the fear im annoying sum1 but l8ly its gotten so much worse#i think coz of. the altercation w that 1 irl#UGHHHH#im always operating under thr assumptions he doesnt like me whenever im w him#an idk what 2 say anymore#is there a way 2 get better a socialising w/o annoying ppl or embarrassing urself#idk i think mayb if im more confident itll help#but. how the hell am i doing that chat#mannnnn#i dunno#ive got more 2 say but im gonna reach tag limit😭😭😭😭 goodby#rivers rambles <3
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