#what the dead eat you'll learn
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The 1st of the 5 poems of mine in the Portfolio of Poetry in the brand new issue of Tupelo Quarterly (Issue 34)
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#christopher citro#poets on tumblr#writers on tumblr#poem#poetry#poet#what the dead eat you'll learn#tupelo quarterly#verse#poems#poets#citro#literary journal#literary magazine#lit#literature#writing#creative writing#i love you i want us both to eat well
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the ultimate goalpost-mover says she loves you very much.
#she's temperamental and takes non-slights personally and hates your father#and sometimes when she doesn't eat she insists you can't eat#and when she does eat,and when she does eat,she insists you should.#she expects you to be everything you had ever promised. she expects good grades and a postgraduate degree and she insists you get up now.#she insists you give up warmth and comfort and safety for her sake. she expects you to plunge and crush your bones#against a cliff on the way. she expects you to stay up all night - she says you must be a researcher and an artist and an investor#and the most eligible lover and she says it won't be enough. she looks at you with all the kindness of a mother#or a very angry cardiac surgeon and explains how you Must be enough. she says let me hold you. you hit the ground crawling and now#i need you to stumble up and move. be clumsy but move. and then walk. and then sprint to where i stand. she expects you to finish#the thousand-page-long book on mathematics in a maximum of two years. she demands competence at archery and toned muscles#she demands time for her and time for your friends. she threatens often. she says i'll leave you and there is no getting me back.#you won't be sorry enough. you want to kill me? that's what i thought. one day she's pacing agitated#and she says i'm going to leave this dead fucking country. somewhere in mainland europe god i dont know- i dont know where. and so you must#learn to stand after weeks of rot and order up and think of where she can live and how to get you there.#she says im sorry for being so harsh to us when we were a child. so i say it too.#she says i'll be alive only if you let me live so i say it too. she says i believe in you and i ask her why and she shuts me up.#she says get up. run the counterfactuals so vivid you that each part of me becomes a notion in your mind clear and distinct and bloody#and then you'll owe me good. none of this is for you.#she says run baby give me everything you are everything between your ribs and so i say it too.#she says give me everything and i have to oblige.
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prohero!bakugo but you, his wife, were kidnapped.
you sat in a dark room, the dripping of water the only sound you heard. your eyes were blindfolded, your hands restrained behind your back as you were bound to a pipe on the floor. the smell of blood filled your nostrils and you resisted the urge to gag.
"she's awake." a strange, gnarly voice you never heard before said, before ripping the blindfold of your eyes, a different man beside him shining a flashlight directly into your face.
you didn't wanna know what you saw in the corner of your eye, unmoving and surrounded by a puddle. but you were broken out of your thoughts by a voice:
"so, girlie, wanna tell us what your husbands weakness is? he put a bunch of our gang in prison some while ago, so we want him dead." a guy with a scar across his face questioned.
as you stayed silent, he pulled your hair, yanking your head forwards to look at him. "answer me, and we won't have to get ugly."
you glared at him, your eyebrows scrunching in annoyance, "no way, eat shit and die." at your words, the man slammed your head against the wall brutally, leaving a dent in the wall, and your head bloodied.
"looks like you'll be trouble huh? i'll ask you again, what's your husbands weakness?"
as you again refused to answer, the other man slapped you across the face. "maybe his next wife will learn to listen. but we'll keep you alive for a bit longer, maybe you'll have a change of heart."
they stood back, admiring their work on you. your nose was broken now, the smell of your own blood apparent to you now as it dripped over your face. your head was pounding as you struggled to stay awake.
"katsuki.." you muttered wearily under your breath, making the two men laugh at you. as you fought off tears off pain.. or was it embarrassment? you didn't know as the two feelings started to blur together.
you knew you just had to hold on. just for a second longer, he'd come for you. the tears dried up but her will didn't, even as the hours passed with no sign of katsuki.
"did your little husband forget you girl? guess you weren't as precious as we thought." the men laughed.
"y-you're wrong. he's coming, and you'll regret this." you mustered, making the men smirk. "oh yeah?"
"fuck yeah." a voice echoed through the compound, accompanied by the sound of a concentrated explosion blasting through the walls.
one of the men, shook up by his sudden appearance, and look of pure unadulterated anger, tried to run off. the other grabbed you, trying to use you as a shield for his next explosion, but katsuki just used it as an opening for a direct hit, sending him flying into the other man, rendering them both useless.
katsuki then ran over to you, untying you from your confines, and looked over you, gently grabbing your face in his hands. "shit, babe.. 'm sorry."
"you came.. i knew you would."
he took you into his arms, getting you back to safety. after this, he'd never want to let you out of his sights again, he just felt so worried, so anxious for what could happen.
but as you two held eachother, the thoughts and fears were all calmed by the feeling of your bodies in tandem.
#i'm a loser who only likes happy endings#lilac speaks꧂#bakugo drabble#bakugo x reader#bakugo#bakugo x y/n#katsuki bakugo x reader#bakugo katuski#bakugo x you#bnha#katsuki x y/n#katsuki x you#katsuki x reader#bakugou katsuki#bnha bakugo katsuki#mha drabbles
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"Your girl" - Part 3 | The Salesman x Reader
Summary: He tries to be nice for once to win you over, but is he being genuine? Or will it backfire? All the while your mind is playing confusing tricks on you.
Warnings: dead dove do not eat, kidnapping, mentions of rape, violence, mentions of murder, body issues, trauma talk, hinting at stockholm syndrome, manipulation, mentions of erection/arousal/masturbation, mentions of abuse earlier in life, not beta read, 18+!
"Your girl" - The Salesman x Reader Masterlist
"I do not intend to rape you, if that is what you think."
It was weird. The words were supposed to comfort you, right? Make you breathe easier. Instead you felt your chest tighten. Again.
Because he brought it up out of nowhere? Who could tell?
You sat on the couch, your arms wrapped around your legs like they usually were ever since you started participating in his mind games. It wasn't really like you had any other choice.
Your body, once young and healthy, albeit loaded with trauma to the brim, felt bruised and battered. It was a fight you were forced to fight every day and it felt like war. War against him, against yourself and life itself. Your face hurt horribly and it was all his fault. Or was it your own? God, you were confused.
"Don't get me wrong. I do intend to fuck you." His eyes crinkled in a smile. "Oh, I intend to fuck you again and again and again, until you feel like you're being ripped apart and you'll be begging me to stop."
There was it again, the cold sweat. Almost like an old friend you could count on.
Why didn't you have any real friends? You suddenly asked yourself. If only you had invested one of your Sundays into getting to meet at least one person. Maybe then someone would miss you now.
There was still your work. But you couldn't really tell if they'd get suspicious after you stopped coming or if maybe they simply accepted it. Your boss knew you had some issues. How you hated confrontration. He probably assumed you simply were gone for good.
Poor girl. Well, whatever, time is money. At least I get to keep her last paycheck.
But somehow you were sure that no one really missed you. No one waited for you at home. And no one cared that you still spent your days in the captivity of a psychopath. Or was it a sociopath? What was the damn difference again?
"Why don't you do it then?" You heard yourself ask.
One might think you would have learned your lesson not to talk back the day when he threw everything edible away and turned off the water supply. Or after he just beat the crap out of you.
But no, here you were, being smart with him. At least right now he didn't seem to mind. His fucked up smile was still in place.
"Because, my sweet, darling girl", he said slowly and crouched down before you, "because I want to fuck you when you're mine. I don't want scraps and pitiful silence. I'm not like the filth I threw on the train lines."
A violent shiver ran down your spine. It was the first time he mentioned the incident. For a few days you had almost asked yourself if that had really happened. And you had also asked yourself if your life so far had been a hallucination. Maybe you had always been his prisoner and maybe you had made up the role of your mother to keep yourself entertained and somehow deal with everything. They did have a lot in common.
"I want it willingly."
Odd. He didn't seem like the gentle type. Or the type who cared about consent.
"Don't mistake my words. I'm going to fuck you, no matter how you feel."
Ah.
"I don't give a shit if you feel sore, you have a headache, you've been crying or you're bleeding. I don't care if it is me who made you bleed." He leaned in so close that his warm, minty breath tickled your ear. "All the better."
For a moment, you were sure he was gonna bite your earlobe. A sound rumbled in his throat, almost like a groan and his lips were so close to your skin, you felt the wet warmth of that groan. But eventually, he pulled his head back and instead stared at you intensely.
"God, I want you."
The last two days had been weirder than usual. Instead of playing tricks on your mind and hitting you till blood trickled down your lip, he had been...considerate? It was hard to tell if that was the right word for it.
Many things were hard to tell nowadays.
It started with the dresses. He once came home - home, God help you - carrying countless bags which contained pretty and expensive dresses. All in your size and all to your liking.
Your style so far had been modest and humble, convenient mostly.
You knew that you could be pretty when you tried and wanted. Yet on most days you simply didn't care enough.
But when he came back with the dresses and left them in your room - and after you had spent enough hours sulking in the corner and being devastated about your loss of dignity when he forced you to drink water from a fucking bowl on the ground - Be a good girl and drink. I'd be really annoyed if you died of thirst. Yes, just like that. My good girl. - your curiosity finally got the better of you and you glanced into one of the bags.
Everything from silk to cashmere, with no ridiculous colors in sight. Everything was black, white, beige, cream, light rose or babyblue.
Then the lotus silk one in dark green.
It made you feel like a princess.
It felt like tiny kisses on your skin.
You couldn't help but try each and every one of them on.
And God, they felt good on you.
And eventually, you were forced to wear them. All you had was that one night dress. You had tried washing it in the sink and drying it on the radiator. But additionally to all the other bullshit he put you through, it was just too much. And so you put it on. The green one first.
The look on his face when you timidly left your room and tiptoed over to the living room had made you feel...
It made you feel...
You wanted to slap yourself until you came back to your senses, but no. It was enough when he did.
Desired. It made you feel desired.
It made you feel beautiful in a way you hadn't ever experienced before.
Sure, despite your questionable upbringing and your mother who constantly made sure you felt just below miserable, there had been men ogling you. Like the one who attacked you.
They'd stop what they were doing and glance you up and down, making sure you felt like a well-seasoned piece of meat.
Edible.
Fuckable.
But none of it was any comparison to him. The look in his eyes had been nothing short or fascination. The way his eyes gleamed and his lips parted in that soft exhale. His eyes didn't just linger on your breasts or ass. His sized you up entirely, like you were a porcelain doll to be cherished.
Of course you expected to hate the feeling.
But to your undying horror, you didn't.
You tried to think back to the many hits you'd taken from him, the humiliation and the countless tears.
And still, when he looked at you like that, you felt your cheeks grow warm and your insides tingle.
"Try them on for me." He had breathed.
You opened your mouth to protest, because that was what you usually did by now, you protested, but one look at him and it shut you up. Not because he was angry or because he had threatened you.
Because of that damn look.
You found yourself walking back to your room, your hands shaking and your heart racing. What were you doing here? Was this your life? Was this your punishment? Was he someone your mother had hired to punish you for escaping her?
You pushed all those thoughts aside and changed into the next dress. It was almost regal looking, a long white dress that hugged your body like a gentle embrace.
None of the dresses were cheap looking. They weren't even all too revealing. A little more than what you usually wore, yes, but all in all they were still kind of modest. But they highlighted your beauty in a way that made you feel exactly that.
Beautiful.
You took a shaky breath and made your way back to the living room. He had settled down on the couch, a glass of whiskey in his hand which he swirled around, lost in thought. The moment he heard you, he looked up from his glass and his eyes lit up in the same delight they had before, even more so.
He did something more now. He bit his lip.
He twirled his finger around, silently beckoning you to turn around, which you did. You turned around, almost timidly, feeling somewhat small under his assessing gaze. You still felt beautiful, but a part of you expected...
What?
That he laughed?
That he scoffed and recoiled in disgust?
Yes. Yes, that was exactly what a part of you felt he might do. Instead, he set his glass down and stood up, approaching you slowly and carefully, as though not to startle you.
You held your breath. He would hit you. You had done something wrong. You were wrong. You looked wrong. You didn't look the way he wanted you to.
He'd get rid of you.
By the time he reached you, you nearly suffocated. Your chest heaved rapidly under his scrutinizing gaze. When he lifted his hand and moved to touch your cheek, your eyes fluttered shut and you gasped.
But instead of hitting you, he...caressed you.
His touch was so gentle, more gentle than ever before. Like he was holding a delicate bird.
"Stand up straight." He breathed in your ear.
You swallowed thickly. And slowly obeyed. You fixed your posture slowly, pulling your shoulders back.
"Like that?" You whispered.
He nodded.
"Now your chin." He whispered back and gently placed a finger under your chin to lift it.
You let him guide you, feeling like his fingers left a trail of fire on their wake when he carefully ran them down the side of your neck.
"God, you're exquisite."
When you finally looked up at him, your eyes were wide and your breathing still far too quick. But his expression was calm. So calm. Almost gentle.
If he wasn't such a psychopath, he'd be really handsome, you realized. His eyes shone in a warm brown and his smile, albeit twisted, was beautiful. He was beautiful. Like a man made of marble who didn't mind getting messy.
When you realized what the hell you were thinking, you recoiled as if you’d been burned. His expression didn't waver, but he slowly pulled his hand back.
"Show me the next one." He murmured and sat back down.
You quickly made your way back and slumped down, your back pressed against the door.
What on earth was that? Were you now entirely out of your mind?
You didn't have many rules, but one of them went above all others.
Avoid him. Avoid him at all costs.
No unnecessary contact, because then you'd have less opportunities to make him angry. And maybe, just maybe, then you'd get out of the alive. You still had hope.
After a long moment of gathering your thoughts, you changed into the next dress. A soft beige cashmere dress, which hugged your curves sinfully.
You took a deep breath and made your way back. His gaze was fixed on the door and he looked at you with a subtle smirk.
"Look at that." He murmured.
You didn't know what he was referring to while you walked in there, a slight frown on your face.
"What?"
"Nothing. Turn around."
You turned around. It was easier this time. And it got easier with every dress. You changed, came in an twirled around. Changed, came in and twirled around. And at some point, his eyes started feeling almost natural on you. Like you were meant to wear those dresses for him on that particular day. It wasn't until the last dress, a beautiful, yet simple black dress, that you realized. Your stance had somewhat changed.
You stared at yourself in the mirror with a deep frown.
Was that you?
Who were you?
And how did you pull it off to show off these dresses looking almost...confident?
You made your way back, looking at him with an unreadable expression.
His face lit up at the sight and he took a sip of his drink.
"My favorite by far. That and the green one."
You stared at him speechlessly. What on earth were you supposed to do with that information?
He approached you slowly, with that predatory air on him as he slowly circled you, looking you up and down.
"Do you like the dresses?" He asked slowly.
"Yes." You whispered.
"Good." He smirked. "Then thank me."
You slowly, almost carefully, looked up at him. Did he expect...you to...
"Thank me." He whispered.
"Thank you for the dresses." You whispered back.
And just like that, he smiled in satisfaction.
"You're very welcome. They all look wonderful on you."
He sat back down and beckoned you to sit beside him, which you reluctantly did. You tried to keep your knees from bouncing up and down nervously and folded your hands in your lap.
"Who are you?"
You simply stared at him. Because you knew, every time you answered the question, even if you said the right words...Something bad happened. So, this time you stayed silent.
He took a slow breath and leaned closer.
"Who are you?"
"Please." You whispered. "Please, don't."
His expression immediately darkened and he took a tight hold of your chin.
"Answer the goddamn question."
"Your girl." You said quietly, but you were unable to meet his eyes as you did. "I'm your girl."
He hummed softly.
"Why?"
You blinked. "Why?"
He nodded. "Yes. Why?"
Suddenly your throat felt dry. You liked to think that you were actually pretty clever. But whenever you spoke to him, you felt like a complete idiot.
"Because I...I just am."
He raised a brow. "You just are?"
"I don't know what you want to hear."
His grip on your face loosened slightly and he shook his head.
"Do you despise me?" He suddenly asked. There was no emotion in his tone, just pure calculation.
You blinked again. You were almost sure you were going to die tonight. Too bad. The pretty dress would end up soaked in blood.
"I..."
"Because just a few minutes ago, you looked at me like you want me."
Suddenly you felt your face heat up in embarrassment. Actually, you had hoped he hadn't caught on that moment of weakness.
"That's not true." Somehow you managed to force a certain firmness in your voice.
He just smiled. "It's alright, sweet girl. You can deny it all you want, but we both know the truth. I know you’re ashamed. That’s fine. But a part of you likes me."
"But it isn't true!"
He tsked. "Listen, why don't you calm down and then we'll-"
"I could never like you!" You called out before you could think about. "I could never want a twisted person like you. You know what? There's a reason why no one ever loved you and why no one ever will. You're simply evil and there's nothing good or loveable about you. Nothing at all."
It felt like one of those horrible moment in apocalypse movies, just a moment before a protagonist is going to die. You knew you had fucked up. You just couldn't tell how bad yet.
By the time you managed to carefully lift your gaze to meet his, you got struck by unease. You could practically follow the shift in his eyes. From teasing and playful to something darker, something dead. He didn't even need to drop the smile. His eyes spoke loud enough.
"I'm sorry." You whispered breathlessly.
You couldn't even tell why you had said that, why the statement that you found something likeable about him had triggered you so badly. You weren't normally this reckless. This suicidal.
"I'm sorry." You whispered again, when he didn't move. "I don't know what came over me. Please. Forgive me. Please, I..."
The coldness in his eyes made you shut up. The man who called you exquisite and asked you to twirl around like a ballerina was gone. And you immediately knew he wasn't going to forgive you.
But what was even worse was that for some reason you felt so terrible for what you had said. Usually, you were pretty kind to everyone and didn't just go around saying hurtful things. If your words reached and hurt him didn't matter. What mattered was that you said them.
Immediately tears stung your eyes and you forced your gaze away from his. God, he would kill you.
And this time you were certain.
So, you weren't truly surprised when he roughly forced your back onto the sofa and straddled you. But you were still scared shitless. Your breath hitched and suddenly, just like that, you couldn't breathe again and you were mute. Betrayed again.
He pinned your wrists above your head and pushed you down with a rough movement, grinding down his hips against yours and forcing your legs apart.
First he would take what he wanted and then he would kill you.
Despite you being mute and frozen, you were still crying. Your body was being shaken by sobs and it only ever seemed to make him angrier.
"It appears to me", he growled furiously, "that you forgot your place."
You quickly shook your head, desperate to make him understand just how much you regretted what you had said, but before you could even try to open your mouth, a firm slap made you cry out in pain.
"No, please-"
There was your voice. And there went another slap. The intensity of it made you cry out as your head lolled to the side.
"Where is your place?" He growled. But before you could respond, he hit you again, all the while you felt his hardness pressed against you, ready to ruin you.
He had never done that before.
Sure, he had hit you when you got something wrong in a game, but he had never straight up beaten you for speaking.
Or what was even worse, he hadn't forced himself on you.
You had sensed the hardness between his legs once before, after he had made you drink the water from a bowl on the floor. But he hadn't mentioned it, hadn't made you look there, let alone touch it. He had skillfully ignored it and probably taken care of it himself afterwards.
He hadn't tried to kiss you.
Hadn't tried to reach between your legs.
Hadn't let you feel him.
But now you felt it, hard and urgent, straining against his pants and then your dress.
You had never felt a man like this before.
What a weird thought to have in this kind of situation.
"Please." You finally managed to sob out. "Please, I swear to you, I'll never do it again. I'll make up for it, please let me make up for it."
By the time his hand shot out for the sixth slap, you felt yourself go dizzy. Your face burned like fire under his palm and everything around you slowly went blurry. Your sight as well as the way you tried to hold your eyes open. They slowly blinked shut.
"I'm sorry." You whispered exhaustedly.
"Don't you dare pass out on me right now." He hissed and tightly grasped your chin.
When, instead of answering, you murmured something inaudible, he sighed deeply.
"Fuck." He murmured. His touch on your face grew softer. Then he slowly tilted your chin up, examining your face.
"I marked your pretty face." He said in a bland tone. You didn't say anything back.
"But I had to remind you that you don't just get to say and do anything you want." He gritted out. He was obviously still furious.
You didn't understand why he sounded like he was trying to justify his actions or why he even cared if you passed out. You had actually expected him to go off on that.
As if on cue, he reached down and carefully adjusted his pants, letting out a soft sigh at the touch.
You felt him press against you for a moment longer. He was obviously fighting with himself. Despite everything, the friction caused a nervous twitch in your lower body. He seemed to notice it and checked your expression. Eventually he forced himself away from you. He got up and ran his hands through his hair.
"Take a nap and calm down. I'll be back in a while."
With quick steps he disappeared to his bedroom. For a short, reckless moment you caught yourself thinking; he'll be occupied fucking his hand for at least five minutes. If you go and find the keys he always carries around when he leaves...
But your thoughts were interrupted by the sound of him. It was barely audible. You were sure you weren't even supposed to hear it. But you did. A moan. He moaned.
You closed your eyes. Oh God.
He had managed it. He had messed up your brain even more than it already was. Instead of crying, because your face hurt like hell, you felt a certain warmth spread through you.
Honey, you cannot seriously-
Shut up, mother.
You heard him again and now you were sure. You felt yourself grow wet. Immediately, your face flared up in even more heat and your breath caught in your throat.
What on earth was wrong with you?
He had nearly killed you, nearly taken you, nearly-
"Ah, oh, fuck." He groaned.
Your brows furrowed and you took a shaky breath. You could almost see it in your mind. The way his hand slowly slid down his chest. It made your heart skip a beat.
Enough!
You jumped up and scurried back to the bathroom. You locked the door and paused before the mirror. The sight made you wince. He had indeed marked you up. His hand, angrily imprinted into your cheek. You gingerly reached out to touch it, but stopped short of your skin.
He had done this to you. Just as he had done so many other things to you.
You were trapped in these godforsaken halls.
All you had wanted to do was go home after a long day of work, read a book in silence and eat a warm meal. Instead you got trapped into this hell, where he slowly manipulated his way under the trauma that had been cursing through your body and mind for years.
He destroyed all the walls you had built up, all the aid you had taken to repair the little sanity that was left in you.
The little confidence. The little love. The little you.
Now it was all gone.
You felt a tear run down your cheek and you immediately wiped it away. The touch made you wince in pain, it was rather harsh. You couldn't help it. You were angry.
You were so, so angry.
Why was it that no one could ever be good to you?
Why did you always attract the attention of twisted people?
You didn't deserve that. You didn't want it. And God, you didn't ask for it.
You had been a sweet child. Innocent and curious as every child is. Until your mother, who knew nothing but hate by day and pain at night, turned you into a shell of a person. And when you finally, finally made it out of her chokehold and you thought you could now live your life in peace, happily ignoring everything wrong in your life, he came.
He came and destroyed your fragile peace.
With shaky hands you leaned down and splashed your face with cold water. You carefully dried it up and stood like that for a while, holding onto the sink tightly.
And you made a silent promise to yourself.
You would get out of here and get your peace back.
The night was quiet. He didn't try to approach you, punish you, torture you in any way. He simply let you sleep.
The second your face touched the pillow, you passed out.
The morning went on just as quiet. You took a quick bath, before you put on one of the horrible dresses. You didn't care which one, you just wanted this to get over with.
The rest of your life.
After you spent two hours pacing the room, you decided you needed to speak to him. Ask him nicely maybe. Or steal his gun and murder him. You didn't care anymore. You needed to get out.
With quick, determined steps you stormed out to the kitchen and were surprised to find it empty. The other rooms were empty as well. You even gathered all your courage and knocked on his bedroom door. When no answer came, you sighed and went back to the kitchen.
Maybe he had abandoned you. He had thrown away all the food and he would come back in a few days after you died of starvation. Yes, that sounded reasonable.
But to your great surprise, that wasn't the case. Instead, on the kitchen table stood a gracious amount of food. Everything from rice and beans, to spinach and even…lemon cake.
You frowned as you thought back to the second day with him.
"What does always manage to cheer you up?"
"Mostly books." You had whispered, after he had just finished nearly choking you to oblivion, because you had answered another question to his displeasure. "But when things are remarkably bad, then lemon cake."
You stared at the cake as if it was poisonous. Which it probably was. You took a step closer and then you saw the note.
Sorry.
That was it. Just sorry. Sorry?
Your eyes widened as you stared down at it.
What was this?
Did he actually apologize?
You didn't care that it was written on a post-it. The word on the post-it was Sorry.
You had to sit down, because you felt like your knees were about to give in.
After a long moment of simply staring down at it, you reached out and took a bite of the lemon cake.
It was fruity and sweet and everything good in the world.
You took another bite and choked back your sobs.
After he came home, he didn't say anything for a long while and so didn't you. Just a quick glance of acknowledgement.
He didn't comment on how you sat there, reading. Of course you expected him to beat you down with the book. But he didn't. Instead he averted his gaze and disappeared into his room.
And he didn't say anything for the rest of the day either, until suddenly he declared that he didn't intend to rape you and so the conversation dragged on.
You felt especially snarky today, after yesterday he got so angry and took it out on you. After he awkwardly vanished and you heard him. After you remembered that you didn't deserve to be treated like shit, right after you had felt incredibly aroused, because you heard him touch himself.
"God, I want you." He breathed in your ear. And then you did the unthinkable. You pushed him back. The movement was gentle. But you pushed him back.
He growled deep in his throat and seconds later the vase from the coffee table crushed against the wall in a loud scatter. At least it wasn’t you who flew into the wall.
You would have winced from the sound. But it was so sudden and somehow almost funny. But you knew better than to smirk.
"Who are you?" He hissed.
You stayed silent.
He took a long, slow breath. Then he reached out and touched your cheek, his fingers digging into your bruised skin, making you flinch. He raised his hand like he was going to slap you again. You wanted to cower in fear, but you forced yourself to keep looking at him, your eyes wide.
He kept staring down at you and slowly lowered his hand back down.
"You're still beautiful." He said quietly.
You didn't expect him to say that or the way his fingers gently trailed down your cheek. You inhaled sharply and slowly closed your eyes. It was like trusting a bear to guard your life, when it was covered in honey.
"Are you going to hit me again?" You whispered.
After a beat, he quietly said: "No."
His mood swings were terrifying, but you knew there were far scarier things about him.
Like the way his eyes darkened whenever he got really angry. Which was often the case.
Or the way he hummed whenever you did something wrong.
Or the way he made you weak and scary enough, not entirely in a bad way. You were certain he had manipulated you into thinking this. Into, somehow, caring. This was the worst that could happen to you. The absolute worst.
He sighed. "Sweet girl, are you..."
You needed to get the hell out of here. And quickly. So, maybe, maybe, if you just played along…
Maybe then you would get out alive. All you had to do was play along. All you had to be was…
“I’m your girl.”
#squid game#squid game fanfic#squid game fanfiction#squid game x reader#squid game x yn#squid game x you#salesman#the salesman#the salesman squid game#squid game the salesman#squid games salesman#salesman squid game#salesman x reader#the salesman x reader#salesman x yn#the salesman x yn#salesman x you#the salesman x you#the salesman smut#squid game smut#gong yoo#dark fic
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/41d048c64a553ed64d3140bbde64a048/6e2d0562dc69480d-dc/s540x810/66137ff9106736f8431a84c0d8dc9e4638e18a11.jpg)
Secretly down bad!Naoya who walks around acting like he's a part of the whole "I hate my gf" trend when in reality, you drive him crazy in ways he couldn't possibly begin to explain or understand.
Secretly down bad!Naoya who gets hard whenever you yell at him. Something about that aggravation in your tone, the way you glare at him, and the overall frustration that takes over your body makes his cock twitch without second thought.
Secretly down bad!Naoya who can't handle arguments with you for that exact reason. Most of his past "lovers", if you can even call them that, would've left him after the first argument. But you? Oh, your tongues ten times sharper than his could ever be. He's tried insulting you in every way possible but somehow you always make him eat his works.
Secretly down bad!Naoya who's unintentionally become a gentleman around you. Following things like the "side-walk rule", referring to you as "ma'am", and doing things like holding the door open for you. All very simple things but all actions he's never done for anyone else. Ever.
Secretly down bad!Naoya who learned so much about himself ever since he got with you. You've suggested some wild things in the bedroom and although his initial response is usually no, he somehow ends up doing exactly as you've requested.
Secretly down bad!Naoya one time scowled at the mere idea of bondage, especially when you said he'd be the one restricted. And yet, there he was on that fated night with his hands tied behind his back as he watched you play with yourself right in front of him. He was so frustrated that night that he ended up cumming without you even touching him.
Secretly down bad!Naoya who still has a smart mouth, as expected, but he now only gets smart with you to provoke a reaction out of you. Sometimes you'll land a playful smack on his arm and all he can do is smile and ask you to do that again.
Which is roughly what opened his eyes to the fact that he quite enjoys a bit of pain from you. Choking him while you ride him to the point of throated grunts 'n groans catching at his throat? Telling him about himself in more ways than one and how he's such a shitty person?? Well, shit, he can't quite get enough.
Secretly down bad!Naoya who felt a shiver run down his spine when you once blocked him for something rather trivial. What really topped it all off was when you told him that the only thing that'd make you unblock him was if he sent an apology video, with tears.
And not just any kinda apology video either, no, of course not. The woman he's found himself with is far more demanding than that. Instead, you told him to send you a pathetic video of him getting off to you, still with tears, and a genuine apology.
Secretly down bad!Naoya who rolled his eyes at that rediculous request of yours. Never in a million years would he send some woman (the love of his life, btw--I know, surprising) a video of him not only jerking off, but also apologizing over something stupid he did? No way. Over his dead body-
Secretly down bad!Naoya who gives in after a total of three hours and sends you a lengthy video of his shaky hands wrapped around his cock as he pants out your name, whispering how sorry he is in a tone so unbelievably embarrassed that you can hardly believe it's him at first.
And if that wasn't enough, it's even more surprising to you how Secretly down bad!Naoya also has a pair of your panties pressed up to his nose and is ranting about how agonizing it's been not being able to text or call you for the past few hours.
Secretly down bad!Naoya who, at the end of the video, utters a bratty complaint about how much you get on his nerves. Which is so hilarious considering the mess he's made of himself, on video, all for you. And on top of this complaint of his? Seconds after, he's whining a plea for you to unblock him so he can get your attention again, even if said attention consists of you cursing him out again.
Secretly down bad!Naoya who gets unblocked about thirty minutes after he sent those videos of his and starts smiling to himself like an idiot. Somehow in that insane mind of his, he's managed to convince himself that he won whatever conflict was just between the two of you.
Even though he had to send you multiple videos of him jerking off and making an overall fool of himself...
Secretly down bad!Naoya who's not even 'secretly down bad', you're actually well aware of how pathetic your boyfriend is for you. He can't explain it too well but, you've always had him wrapped around your pretty lil' finger like no other.
#jjk smut#jjk x you#jjk x reader smut#jjk x y/n#jjk x reader#naoya zenin#naoya smut#naoya x reader#zenin naoya#jjk naoya#naoya zen'in x reader#naoya x you#jujutsu kaisen naoya#jujutsu naoya#naoya x f!reader#naoya
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Libations
As a Hellenic polytheist, one of our most important duties to our gods would be to give libations. Libations are liquid offerings to our gods, not only in recognition of them and their importance but as an invitation into our lives for them.
When it comes to giving libations, it can be difficult for those of us practicing and worshipping in secret. So in this post I'll go over typical libations and how they're given, and then some methods I believe would be helpful for those that can't give openly! Please keep in mind that the suggested methods (for those practicing in secret) come from someone who is still navigating and learning her own religion. As always, do your own research where needed and do methods that make you most comfortable in your practices.
Typical Libations
Wine (typically red)
Symbolic of the divine ether, and Zeus's influence on the soul. Additionally, dark red wine represents the blood of Dionysus/Zagreus. We drink his blood as reflectance for his sacrifice by the titans and the eating of his flesh. It represents his metamorphosis, and in turn, our own cycle of birth.
Milk
Representative of Hera and Ira, whose breast milk formed the galaxies and cosmos. Milk also represents the earth.
Honey
Honey is golden which is incredibly symbolic of the gods, particularly their ichor (the blood of the gods). Honey is also a powerful preservative representing the immortality of the gods.
Fine oil (typically olive)
Oil historically symbolizes life, prosperity, and the divine spirit.
Milk and honey together are also a considerable libations but is particularly good for death related gods and the honoring of the dead. Milk and honey libations for them should NOT be consumed.
Giving Libations
To give libations, you would first pick up the offering bowl full of whatever you are giving with your right hand, then hold it with both and recite a dedication. The dedication itself is up to you but the example I saw is as follows:
"We dedicate this libation to khrismôdós Apóllôn and aithǽrios Diónysos and to all the happy, deathless Gods!"
Libations can be made to a singular god or multiple at once. Just ensure you have enough for them equally. Dedications can also be to a singular god or you can name the ones you are dedicating to.
Once you've made your dedication, you'll transfer the bowl to your left hand and pour your offering on the ground or into whatever reservoir you have dedicated to it on your altar. This is your libation, and the offering now belongs to them. Once you've made your libations, you may sip from the remaining contents of the bowl as communion. Before doing so, you may recite a prayer. Here is an example:
"We drink the blood of Diónysos! May the Aithír of Zefs intoxicate our souls and transform us!"
Please be aware that you should NOT drink libations to the dead or to death gods.
When sipping from the remainder of your libations, do NOT sip from the part where you poured. You should drink from the opposite end of the bowl.
Libations in Secret
When you're practicing in secret, this method of libations can be incredibly difficult. So with that, here are a few ways that I think could be helpful!
Can't access or drink wine/milk/honey? Substitute them for water or better yet, flavored juices!
Pomegranate juice can make a good libation for Underworld gods and goddesses, apple juice would be good for Zeus, etc. Research your deity's associations and try working with them. Water is also life-giving and integral to life.
Can't pour your libations outside or in a dedicated offering bowl? Use cups!
Pour your libations directly from the bottle to a cup and sit it on a shelf or desk or wherever you've dedicated to your god. You can recite your prayers and dedications in your head as well.
Worried about wasting drinks? Offer a smaller amount!
Typically what you give should be more than you keep, but your gods understand your struggles and would be understanding of your intentions. Offer a small amount of your drink, honey, etc and inform them of your reasonings and intentions. Your gods love you, they'll be happy with your efforts regardless.
Can't do your libations during the day? Do them at night!
Give your libations while everyone is asleep. You can even hide it under your bed or behind something to keep it for the time you want. (Please be careful of doing this with honey and be mindful of possible insects, pets, pests, spills, etc)
A minor? Do your libations at school!
You can do your libations while at school by making them during a PE class, during lunch, or any period of time where you can take a moment to do so! (I'm not condoning using your bathroom breaks to sneak off and do them, I'm just saying you definitely could do that)
Regardless of how you do your libations and with what, your practice is your own as is your relationship with your god(s). Do what feels right for you ♡
#hellenic worship#hellenic polytheism#hellenism#helpol#hellenic deities#libations#hellenic community#hellenic#hellenismos#deity offerings#libations to the gods#library: learning
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i have had this in my brain for ages and i needed to get it out
cw;; DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT, noncon, drugging, omegaverse, bitching, dysphoria, cervix penetration, breeding kink, knotting
alpha dr ratio out on a mission getting kidnapped by some smugglers and eventually he ends up sold to your ship where you're in charge. he's brought to you and you decide he's cute and his big chest is too sexy to be wasted on an alpha.
you drug him every day slowly changing his body into an omega but the process can only really be completed by being bred like an omega bitch. veritas is constantly kept in heat his body aching and craving your cock but he's stubborn. he's so certain he'll be saved any day now. you know full well the IPC is never coming but you'll let the horror of that dawn on him.
its months of painful heats in a body that feels wrong and disgusting. months of what feels like torture as he's fed just enough to survive. months of you coming to see him and ask him every time if he wants to submit yet. all he needs to do is agree to become your omega wife and you'll take care of the rest. he still resists but you can see in his eyes that everything is breaking him.
one day he wakes up no longer in his cell. he's in a warm bed of silks, soft fabrics and a sweet smell make him feel like he might be free. maybe he's been saved. and then the heat starts to get more painful than ever. his formerly alpha body is craving an actual alpha, he needs it so badly. he's shaking as his fingers start to reach for his slit. and then you come in the door, your scent strong. the horror that he's not free can't even get to him he's more glad to see an alpha.
its like he can't control his body anymore. he picks himself up and presents to you. his voice doesn't sound like himself as he asks needily "alpha please."
you're so pleased with the sight. your thumb spreads his slit as you grab his ass. "omega, will you become my wife?" you ask for the 100th time.
veritas can't think about it anymore, you're so close to his cunt and his body is screaming to be bred. his stomach hurts with how empty and needy he is. "yes, yes, yes, alpha please. please make it stop. please-"
you have your answer. now you're going to enjoy using the bitch's new cunt and flooding his virgin womb. and veritas enjoys it too. he's so happy when your tip pushes into his virgin hole. he's even happier when you start slamming into him, oh yes it hurts but the pain is relief from the constant pressure of the heat. his cunt squirts when your cock knocks against his cervix.
you're not gentle with him at all. you've been waiting to break him in for so long and he's so tight and warm. when your thick cock hits his cervix you realize that you can fuck his womb directly. oh yeah he screams and cries and tells you it hurts but that just turns you on even more as your cock bullies his tight cervix. you slam into him, your tip pressing into his cervix until finally it gives. another few inches and your knot is pressing against his cunt. at this point your cute little bitched omega is absolutely sobbing in pain and pleasure, his sloppy cunt leaking down his thighs.
"you're mine." you whisper in his ear.
you pull your hips back slightly, your teeth lining up with his little bitch scent gland. you slam your hips down as you sink your teeth into him. your knot and fangs marking the pretty bitch as yours so thoroughly his body is forced to accept that it's an omega now. he's fully an omega and his bulging stomach is being pumped full of cum as your thick ropes saved up over months flood his womb. it'd be a surprise if he didn't get pregnant.
after you're done you'll go to sleep painfully buried in your cute bitch wife while veritas is left to sob and grapple with his body forcefully changed against his will and stretched past reason to accommodate you. he'll learn to be happy though.
#sub hsr#hsr x male reader#hsr smut#hsr x reader#dr ratio x reader#dr ratio x male reader#sub dr ratio#sub character#male reader#alpha reader
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WHB Series #1 (Cont.)
MC: ...
Raphael: *in shackles*
MC: ...
MC: What the fuck- Did I do this?
Bael, Amon, Stolas, and Naberius: ...
Bael, Amon, Stolas, and Naberius: *nod*
MC: ...
MC: *pressed their fingers to the bridge of their nose*
MC: Yeah... This is what I get for choosing the easy route. *decided to try summoning angels they could eat and accidentally summoned Raphael instead*
Bael: Nevertheless, this is a success since you captured Seraph Raphael with minimal effort.
MC: ...
MC: Bael, I'm NOT that powerful. And I don't know how long till I lose my power over him.
Naberius: Should we eliminate him now?
Stolas: We should!
MC: ...
Amon: It seems you have something in mind.
MC: You noticed?
Bael: What is it you're thinking?
MC: Listen, we have a seraph in front of us.
MC: There's only one thing to do in times like this.
Amon: ...
Amon: Devour him?
MC: *facepalm*
Naberius: Amon...
MC: Experiments, spells, and I'm interested in his weapon, so I'm stealing that.
Raphael: *tries to speak but no words are coming out of his mouth*
MC: Prepare a room for me and- *looks at Raphael* *then nods to themselves*
MC: Get me a wagon.
Bael: Pft-
MC: *has created new sets of seeds, but they have no purpose yet*
Raphael: *looking at the seeds*
MC: Scared I'll turn you into a demon?
MC: Trust me, I'm not going to do that.
MC: ...
MC: Or I might change you into something.
MC: Like a dove or a hamster.
Raphael: ...
MC: *imagined it for a second then grimaced* You won't be cute.
Raphael: *angry expression*
MC: Anyway, let's get started. *pulls out a small knife*
Raphael: ...
MC: *cuts their finger and lets the blood drip on the floor* *then walks up to him*
MC: Open your mouth.
Raphael: ...
Raphael: *follows their instruction*
MC: *made him drink a few droplets of their blood* *then starts saying an incantation*
Raphael: ...
Raphael: *begins to feel feverish, but soon a sense of calm washes over him*
MC: ...
MC: That's weird. You're taking it well. Or maybe because you're a seraph, who knows.
Raphael: ...
MC: If you’re curious, I’ve placed a magical explosive inside your body.
MC: Defy my orders and you'll be dead.
Raphael: ...
Michael: ...
The angels: ...
Michael: Raphael has been captured, you say?
A cherub: Yes, sir. We'll be on our way to save him.
Michael: ...
Michael: You think someone like you could save a seraph?
A cherub: ...No, sir.
Michael: ...
Michael: Raphael will be able to handle it himself.
MC: *eating a fried angel's meat next to Raphael*
Raphael: ...
MC: You know, I've never tasted a seraph before.
MC: I wonder if you'll taste good.
Raphael: ...
MC: By the way, want some?
Raphael: ...
MC: This shit slaps if you just forget it was an angel before.
Raphael: ...
Raphael: *has a subtle smile on his face*
MC: *raises an eyebrow*
MC: If you're trying to intimidate me, that won't work.
*MC doesn't realize that it's not the reason why he's smiling.*
*In Gehenna*
Satan: MC CAUGHT RAPHAEL?!
Gehenna devils: *in shock*
Leviathan: *on the other line* Yes. It appears they’re trying to exert control over him.
Satan: *laughs* They're learning.
Leviathan: No. They need to be cautious.
Satan: Don't you trust them, Levi?
Leviathan: It's not that I don't, but I believe something ominous is about to happen.
Satan: And what could that be?
#what in hell is bad#whb mc#whb raphael#whb abyssos#whb michael#whb satan#whb leviathan#whb series 1
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UNBROKEN BETROTHALS
Aemond Targaryen x Reader
Synopsis: After running away from an unwanted proposal, you find yourself working in a brothel as a cook. When a certain guest takes an odd liking to you, secrets are revealed and betrothals unbroken
Warnings: Angst, Brothels, Mature, 18+, Eventual Smut, Explicit Language
Word Count: 2,187
> **A/N:** AHHHHHH this is my first character fic, and only the second one I've ever been brave enough to post! I also had to post this on mobile because my browser was being wild so sorry for any formatting issues!
The sound of senseless fucking had never seemed to bother you. Easy to filter out, truthfully, and not as traveling as one would think it to be. No, there are many things worse, like for instance the smell. One never takes into account the smell of sex, much less the smell of alcohol fueled, desperate, old haggard men driving the last of their life-force into some disinterested cunny eager to make a coin. Eager to spend a coin, as well.
That's where you came in. Whores work up quite an appetite, one you are all too happy to satisfy, no pun intended. You'd been with Sylvi for years, after you'd run from your family in the dead of night, afraid of the life they'd planned for you.
"Everybody must eat," Sylvi sighed the night she met you, disinterested. "If you will not fuck, you will feed. We earn our keep around these parts, you'll do well to learn quickly."
That was the start of a very standoffish, albeit maternal, relationship. Sylvi had never truly cared for your company, but she cared for you, and that was more than many could say, and more than you could say of any kin. She had taken you in, given you shelter among her girls, and had asked very little of you, knowing your past. She'd seen you into young womanhood, and taught you all you wished to know about life. She was not coddling, nor cruel. She was just what you needed, and it seemed many shared the sentiment.
You were in a daydream as you went about your nightly tasks. The brothel would be closing in a few hours, the girls would need food, and you had really set into it, working quick and messily, spinning and turning about in an attempt to do too many things at once.
Just as you'd turned from the broth and made way to the oven, a wall had manifested itself and blocked your passage. No, not really a wall. Moreso a tree, in it's slender and sharp way. The branches had reached out to hold you, wrapping around your waist and breaking you from your reverie. Suddenly before you was a bare chest, pale in color and smooth like silk. He was taught with muscle, cut like marble. The kind of statue kings pay fortunes for, just to place in their hallway and walk past every morning.
"Sir, no one is meant in the kitchens." You had spoken before you'd had the chance to understand what you were saying, turning from him and back towards your oven to retrieve the loaves. "You'll need to return back to the brothel, Sylvi will not have men in her kitchen."
"'Twas Sylvi that sent me. I've come for wine." The voice was quiet, but in a way that made the ears strain to hear him, instead of drown him out.
Wine? Why would he not stop at the many*tables he'd have to pass to get here?You'd thought. This man must have ill intentions.
Slowly grabbing your bread knife, you turned your head to the side to face the intruder.
Prince Aemond Targaryen.
"My Prince! " The sound of metal rang through the room as you dropped the blade unto the table to turn fully towards him. "My sincerest apologies, my prince! Please forgive me, I had no idea!" You did your best curtsy, and prayed to the Seven that he wouldn't find me impertinent, and would be in a forgiving mood. What you'd just done could be viewed as treason, an attempt on the prince's life.
In the state he was in, which you had noticed, you surmised he just might be in a forgiving mood. He was nude from head to toe, his brow beaded from heat and, hopefully, exertion. The hook of his nose looked sharper as his purple eye followed it to look down at you. He was beautiful, almost overly so. It could only have been Prince Aemond, the eye patch gave him away, even though you'd never seen him before, you'd be a fool not to know the stories of the one-eyed prince. And you'd known him to be a rather fond client of Sylvi's, as she boasted often to the other girls at dinner.
His presence there in your safe haven was unnerving, and once again the sounds of debauchery were drowned out, but now it was as if he'd sucked the noise from the room. He was too tall for the room, it was not made for him. What would a kitchen made for a God even look like? The very notion to build such a thing seemed almost blasphemous to you. He was looking at you like you didn't even exist, almost through you. His stare was too deep for that of a stranger, but perhaps he had to look so intensely because his lack of an eye.
He finally cleared his throat, as if it would've pained him to repeat himself.
"The wine, yes. We are a humble establishment, so you will have to be forgiving with our selection. I'll have our best sent to you at once!" And with that, he let out a low hum and left you to your duties.
You'd quickly managed a carafe and two goblets, and sent it through with a boy, with strict instructions to deliver it to the prince. You'd have delivered it yourself, but as you did not know where he was, and did not have the time searching the brothel for him, you'd relented to send it through a lord's boy, and hope he was competent enough to manage it.
As the sounds died out from the front of the house, you'd began shuffling out with bowls of broth and loaves for the girl. They took it gratefully, each dropping two coins in your hands and sitting to eat, sharing small talk and whatever gossip they had learned from their clients.
"Ser Lannister had quite a bit to share tonight. He speaks of war. Do you know what war means?" Lauryn spoke excitedly.
"Rapers." Another girl, Cate called from farther away, monotone. "Foreign men coming into the city in siege, taking over the villages."
"It means more clients, Cate." Sylvi's voice quickly silenced the small talk, as she walked to the table and sat, ready to be served her complimentary meal. Her place at the table, as always, was already set, and she reached for her wine immediately. "War means the king calls for more men. They leave their wives, and with no one to warm their bed, they come to us."
"Precisely." Lauryn agreed readily. "If war comes, I welcome it. I don't give a shit who sits the throne, as long as the crown prospers enough to put gold in my pocket." She lifted her goblet, a smirk on her face at her own clever musing.
"I'll drink to that." Another girl called from the back, which caused an rupture of quiet laughter through the room.
As you passed to fill an empty cup, Sylvi grabbed you arm, and pulled you in close enough to whisper.
"I require a moment with you." At your confirming nod, she raised from her seat and left to her room. You were quick to follow, leaving the carafe with the girls, who took it readily and saluted your departure.
Once in her lavish rooms, Sylvi sat at her vanity and peered at you through the mirror, an air of drama filled the room and caused you to rock on your toes in an attempt to soothe yourself.
"I see you've met the Prince."
Oh. You'd thought surely this would be a serious conversation, but as you had spoken so few words to the man, you could not see how possibly she could have taken issue with your conversation. Unless the prince had told her about your grabbing the knife, in which you were in deep shit.
"Yes, ma'am." You sat in an armchair and folded your hands in your lap. "He came to ask for wine, and I had some sent with a squire, I believe."
"He seemed to take a liking to you." She brushed off your words just as she now did her hair, her lips pressed into a tight line that betrayed her nonchalant tone. "He asked for you, the next time he graced us with his patronage."
Your throat tightened and your stomach lurched. This can't be. Your conversations were short, and you had nearly insulted him, and then only half obeyed his order by sending someone in your stead with the wine. Perhaps he hoped for a moment alone so he could punish you for your insolence. Perhaps he was just playing at a joke, and Sylvi had taken it for more than he had meant it. Though he did not seem to you a joking type, and Sylvi seemed sure in her words.
Would she sell you to the prince? It hardly seemed as though you would be in a position to refuse, should he insist on a private meeting with you. But perhaps Sylvi had a sway with the prince that others did not.
"I...don't understand, ma'am. I do not-"
"Of course, I told him you were not that type of girl." She reassured. "He listens to me, you know. I'm one of the only he bears his heart to." Her voice took on a dreamier tone. "I'm the only woman he's known."
"I had no idea." I spoke distantly, still reeling at the idea of being asked for personally, and by a man of such high standing.
"What did you say to him? When he came to the kitchens. I sent him for wine, and he comes back without wine, and with a sudden interest in you" She turns around now, her eyes appraising and scrutinizing.
"I did not say anything, ma'am. I had mistaken him for a mere lord at first, I told him to leave. And then he ordered the wine, and I told him it would be done! I promise, there was nothing untoward, and no advances."
You spoke at a mile a minute to plead your case. It was clear this woman had an attachment to the prince, and you would not give the impression that you were there to threaten it. Sylvi was a kind woman, but a burn so scalding might just scorch her heart enough to cast you out.
"I swear it to you, ma'am. I've no interest in the prince, and he none in me. If anything, he only wishes to punish me privately for the way I behaved before I knew he was the prince." She nodded at your words.
"Nonetheless, I let him know you were not available. He did not take the refusal well, but such is his way. Dragons are not used to the word 'no'." She readjusted and smiled at you. "It's nothing to worry at, my dear. Just go about your duties, and do not speak to the prince again. He'll forget you in time." You nodded and stood to leave.
"Thank you. You've done such a kindness for me, and I owe you my life. I would never make such a slight against you, please know that." Her dismissing nod and small tired smile was enough for you to turn and take your leave.
The women had filled their bellies of wine and broth, and some began to make way to their beds, others staying around to gossip. You approached the lingering girls, grabbing a loaf from the table and sitting on a chair to eat.
"So, will you?" Lauryn, who still remained, asked you, as if the incomplete question was all you needed to know. When you only responded with a questioning look, she rolled her eyes and scoffed. "Will you fuck him? Everyone here heard the prince and Sylvi's clash. He wanted you. He begged for you!" The other girls began giggling and wiggling their eyebrows at you. "It drove her mad! He doesn't want her anymore."
"Not wanting Sylvi is one thing, but wanting you is another." Another girl, Maria, a Dornish delicacy, played with her hair as she spoke with a natural coolness. "If you don't want to, of course you shouldn't, but you should consider it. A prince would pay handsomely, perhaps even enough for you to move on."
"I would not do that to Sylvi, I would not do it at all. I wouldn't even know how, I'm not versed in the...fetishes of men."
"She told him such, but he would not hear it. He asked for an exception to be made, perhaps a private arrangement. If anything, it seemed to appeal to him more, knowing you were still untouched." Lauryn jumped back in, eager to return back to her teasing.
"I would only lay with a man I chose. I did not have the option before I left home, but I do now, and I will choose myself who I bed." And with that, you stood to leave, retiring to your room for the night.
#aemond targaryen smut#aemond targaryen#aemond targaryen x reader#hotd#house of the dragon#unbroken betrothals
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Forced To Take Him (PART 2)
🫴Read Part 1 here
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/334941a982db16e6f088677ed59030d2/4706a8c8727f8a18-d4/s540x810/28a46dc40db15bb3c2535fc4f0767d25dfb6b2f0.jpg)
Warnings : stepcest, mentions of the word rape, manipulation, non con, dub con, spit play? Ig that's all idk
Note : IT'S NON CONSENSUAL, consider it dead dove do not eat. and if u chose to read even after all the warnings, I'm not responsible.
"f-fuck take it like a good girl, take it all baby shit-" his voice cuts off in a whine when he feels you gag around his length, your throat feels raw and abused and you aren't sure if you'll be able to talk once this is over. He's so rough with his animalistic thrusts in your mouth, his palms planted firmly at the back of your head, fucking into your throat like it's a cunt. A wet, messy cunt for the purpose of getting fucked.
His eyes are on yours, his lust filled expression making bile rise in your throat. But at the same time there's a tingling in between your legs, your body working against you
"fuck u like this, u like this don't you, u little sexy slut" he pants, smiling down at you sinisterly, his tongue comes out to lick on his plump lower lip, his brows furrow as he once again gets lost in the pleasure of your throat
There's saliva leaking out of your mouth, drool mixed with his precum, you can taste it . Taste how messy all this is gonna get.
"fuck u, fuck u for making me like this ughmmmm- drive me crazy, wanna fuck all the time oh yeahmmmhm" he moans loudly. Fear strikes your heart, acutely aware that your sister is just a little distance away, watching TV on the couch and a single kitchen counter is what hides your body from her vision. If she were to look over, she would only see sunghoon and not how he's busy using your throat mercilessly.
But sunghoon doesn't care. Ever since the first day he raped you, he had only gotten braver, more worry free and fearless.
He started fucking you more frequently. almost anywhere he felt like he would pull your shorts down and bury is cock in your snatch in a single thrust, pounding like an animal.
He would come into your room at nights, whispering filthy promises in your ear while his hips snapped into your womb with the intention to breed.
He had also stopped giving your sister the sleeping pills, and you could feel it in your heart that he wasn't scared of your sister catching u anymore. and your fear became reality when during one night of brutal fucking, his fingers dug into your jiggling fleshy thighs and he groaned into your ears the words which made your insides turn cold.
"wanna tie your sister up right beside ur bed and make her watch how I rape you baby- his teeth dug into ur cheeks as u sobbed - wanna make her see what real fucking looks like. THIS. This is what fucking is all about. Tight fucking pussy god fuck"
A sharp thrust inside your throat made you come back to the present, he held your head in place, going deeper and lodging his dick further inside your fluttering throat. Your nose meshed up against his pubic hairs, his groans getting louder
"fuck yeah" he laughed, at the height of his insanity, snapping his hips again, making u choke on this thick length, gagging sounds like music to his ears
"look so pretty like this, gonna fuck u right on this kitchen floor baby, gonna make u scream so your sister knows exactly how u drool around my dick in ur pussy like a filthy little -Fuckughhh- little slut"
Your finger nails dug in his thighs, your oxygen supply getting cut off due to his rough movements but u could feel that he was close, his taste getting stronger on your tongue
"fuck fuck fuck squeeze my balls, make me fucking cum , wanna cum so much, fuck-yeahh" he thrust rapidly at an animalistic pace, his head thrown back in pleasure as you played with his balls just like he asked for. You had learned how to obey, having seen how bad things could get when he was angry.
"swallow-holy fuck-take it all you fucking whore, take my seed" he groaned from above you, snapping his hips deep into your throat and holding your head against his pubes, cumming inside your mouth, his taste flooding up your senses. you swallowed instantly, afraid of disappointing him, squeezing his balls more to drain him of every last drop of his fuck cream, making him curse
He pulled his dick out of your drooling mouth with a pop. Before you could catch a breath he was dropping down on his knees and burying his tongue in your mouth.
one thing your sister's boyfriend loved more than fucking u was tongue fucking your mouth. you don't know what his obsession was with your tongue but he loved sucking on it while he made u suck on his own tongue. Just plain messy, open mouthed kisses, making out with your tongue for hours.
His wet muscle tangled with yours, licking into your mouth with vigor, wanting to catch any after taste of his cum that u just swallowed. His hands grabbed you by ur thighs and the next thing you know he was dragging them from under your body so that your sitting form fell down on the kitchen floor, your head hitting a little hard at the wood but sunghoon didn't care. He never cared if you got hurt.
He was instantly pulling back, tearing your panties apart, pocketing the shredded fabric to jerk off with later and he was burying his cock inside, breaching your entrance in one harsh penetrative thrust. A gasp escaped your throat while he groaned in pleasure and satisfaction. Finally being wrapped in your wet pussy folds.
Your pussy was sore from how rough he had taken u in the morning and he was so big, you felt an excruciating pain at your entrance, tears rolling down your eyes involuntarily. He started snapping his hips into yours without waiting for you to adjust, gasping in pleasure, folding your body in half, grinding your sexes together
"does it hurt? fucking tell me that it hurts-fuck"
It did. but u didn't want to give him the satisfaction of getting off to your pain. You knew he was a sick bastard who got off when u were hurting. Your tears turned him on.
"so so fucking wet, sucking my dick in your tight little fuck hole, I bet u want that fuck cream inside you so bad huh baby?" he spat upon feeling your nails dig into his neck, your pussy was so wet, your body's natural reaction making you cry more. Maybe it was your fault, maybe u did want this. Maybe he was right.
"Feels so good baby, cunt milking me so fucking good yeahmmugh jesus fuck"
his thrusts became rapid, carnal lust taking over his body, going deeper, harder. You closed your eyes to avoid seeing how much pleasure he was getting from using your body like this. The cold kitchen floor digging into your back, making you more aware of what was happening to you. You were crying and screaming in full force now, unable to hide how much pain he was putting you through, but also unable to hide how much pleasure he was giving you. Your hips were chasing his own, your lower region getting hotter and hotter, you could feel your high approaching. Please God no, no, you can't cum on this monster's cock.
He laughed when he felt your pussy clench around his dick
"fuck yeah u want this, u wanna fuck with me, u wanna breed with me, come on, let's cum together yeah? let's fuck some more" He panted, his eyes shining in a sick want, you tried to look away but his hand held your face in place, fingers digging into ur cheeks, his gaze fucking into your soul, his pleasure filled expression making the knot in your belly snap, your eyes rolling back at the same time his eyes rolled back, your cum mixing with his pearly white seed flooding inside your womb, profanities and "fuck yeah" s falling from his mouth, his teeth digging into your cheek, hips fucking into u relentlessly, intensifying the squelching sounds your grinding sexses were making.
You tried pushing him away, his thrusts now making your insides hurt but he didn't stop, panting like an animal, wrapping your legs around his waist while he resumed his thrusts, his dick still hard inside of you. Hot and hard and so cruel.
His fingers dug into your waist, his tongue coming out to lick your neck, upto your chin to your nose, sliding sideways to dip inside your ear making you whine in overstimulation.
"t-too much" u gasped out, your nails scratching his back in hopes that he would slow down, the pain mixed with pleasure starting to get to your head.
"yeah? good, gonna fuck a baby into u baby, gonna fuck ur warm little cunt till u start bleeding" he whispered, intruding your mouth with his tongue, his hips getting harsher, his dick head hitting your cervix head on, even going past it at some point with how much it hurt.
You were starting to lose your vision, so lost in the overwhelming feelings to take note of how eerily quiet the house had become. How the skin slapping sounds and your groans and moans were all that could be heard now. You could not hear the TV anymore.
Your head lolled to the side and your eyes met your sister's. Relief washed over you. She was here to save u, she was finally gonna save you, u were gonna be free, you were-
"she isn't gonna stop me sweetheart, she's gonna watch us fuck like the pervert that she is, she's gonna watch me rape your tight little cunt" sunghoon whispered in your ear and something ugly reared it's head inside your chest. You were begging with your eyes. He was wrong, wasn't he? But why was she not stopping him? Why wasn't she saying something??
your eyes travelled down and a cold shiver ran down your spine.
Your sister's hand was buried inside her shorts while she watched how sunghoon fucked u. He was panting and groaning like a wounded animal, his spit flying everywhere as his thrusts became sloppier, your heart felt numb and so did your mind. You could not comprehend the scene that was playing out in front of you. your sister's excited eyes were fixated on your and sunghoon's grinding bodies, how u writhed under him, how he was shaking in pleasure. Her hand's movements inside her shorts getting faster in tune with sunghoon's thrusts
That look. You knew that look. You had seen that look countless times throughout your childhood but u were a naive little girl who didn't know any better.
You were 13 when your mom had married lana's dad. It had been a happy marriage, never once did u feel unaccepted or unwanted by your step sister, she always kept u close to her, always took u with her when she went to play, always shared her toys with you.
But there were more things she liked to share with u. like kisses.
You were innocent, never understanding the meaning behind her lingering touches and kisses. You both were just kids after all. And even though it felt uncomfortable at times, you didn't want to ruin ur relationship with your new sister. You wanted to be good. And siblings kissed all the time didn't they? it was just a way to express affection to each other
But as time went by, her affection towards u became unhinged. She was overprotective over u in an almost obsessive way.
U didn't notice it at that time, u never did. U never noticed how she would insist on sharing clothes and baths and how excited she would become when u let her borrow your lip balm. or how angry she became the first time u mentioned a crush.
How one day u came home crying to her because everyone in school was talking about how ur mother was a whore and u also carried some STDs, unaware of the fact that lana was the one who started those rumors, an effort to keep u isolated and dependent on her.
at your 17th birthday, your sister bought u a dress matching with hers and even tho u insisted that u didn't want to change in front of her, she made u eventually
"We're both girls y/n, I change in front of you all the time, why can't u?"
and so u did. Missing the way your sister's breath became heavy with each article of clothing that u took off.
At first she used to watch, just watch. until you both were well into adulthood. Turning 19, she eventually started touching.
"You're so beautiful y/n" she whispered while caressing your naked waist. You smiled awkwardly, putting ur top on instantly, feeling uneasy at the look lana was giving you. But u brushed it off, u shouldn't have.
u brushed off a lot of things, like when your sister took u to clubbing one night and as the crowd increased on the dance floor, you could feel her body press closer to yours, her hips subtly rubbing against u.
or how when u leaned closer to whisper in her ear that you were getting out to get some fresh air, your sister buried her nose into your hairs, inhaling your scent unbeknownst to ur naive self.
You had been your sister's deepest obsession ever since you walked into her life years ago. But u were too blind to see that.
"so close gonna cum so much for u, gonna fucking breed u full holy shit, you're gonna make me cum so hard baby " sunghoon's groans reached a fever pitch, the squelching sounds of your groins meeting filling up the kitchen, you couldn't take your eyes off of lana or how her eyes rolled back in pleasure when sunghoon moaned his impending orgasm
"yeah yeah fuck yeah feels so good, god fucking godughh " He panted, flooding your womb with his cum, your second orgasm washing over u as u watched your step sister bite her lower lip and cum all over her fingers. Sunghoon's cock helping u ride urs and his high, pleasurable sighs filling the space
your senses were overwhelmed, your eyes shutting on their own, feeling guilty with how much you came but at the same time, a sick pleasure ignited inside of you.
You felt a soft caress against your cheek and without opening your eyes you could tell that it was lana. you leaned into her touch, a deep yearning flooding your chest. sobs escaping your trembling lips as she cooed and kissed your tears away
"Shh baby I'm here, I love you, I love you so much y/n" she whispered and ur sobs got louder. You could hear sunghoon's laughter in the background, his body had left yours at some point.
"she's pretty when she cries isn't she? kiss her baby, wanna see u making out with the little slut" he spoke from somewhere.
You refused to open your eyes, not wanting to face your sister's want and the glaring reality that it was her all along.
It wasn't sunghoon who wanted u, it was her.
She wanted to break u through sunghoon and now she had. You didn't think u could leave even if you wanted to.
A tongue slithered inside your mouth and ur sister groaned upon tasting you. Tangling your tongues together, you felt her hand groping your chest, moaning into ur mouth at feeling your body
"u're mine, u have always been mine" you heard her whisper before u sinked into unconsciousness. your body shutting down and mind choosing to disassociate from the glaring reality.
you always knew your step sister loved u in a way that was different from how your friends' sisters loved them. you always knew that lana loved you too much.
loved u so much that it was lethal
#part 2 finally???#enhypen hard hours#enhypen hard thoughts#enhypen hard headcanons#enhypen smut#enhypen#enha#park sunghoon#sunghoon smut
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My head canons for Sol Brugsmansia x chubby fem! reader!
TW for: Sexual content, Dubcon(?), stalker/yandere tendencies, mentioned violence, mentions of body issues, Somnophilia
SFW (TW for some mild violence)
- This man needs a girl who can be his pillow, so of course he sets his sights on you immediately
- He's the biggest slut for headpats, you could honestly bribe him to do so much by promising to pet him a bit
- Is there an article of clothing you want that isn't available in your size? He'll learn how to tailor them to your size, even if it's a bit shoddy at first
- If anyone were to ever insinuate that you aren't enough because of your weight... They might not be dead but they'll likely be pretty bloody
- He gets so sad when you feel bad about yourself, he'd just grab you and not let you go until you feel better
- He bites affectionately. He bites to get your attention. Sometimes he bites just to bite.
- When he gets jealous, he doesn't lash out at you at all. The worst he may do towards you is cry/beg. The only people he'd hurt in the situation are the people he perceives as a threat. Not you, his perfect girl.
NSFW
- He also bites to mark his territory while making out and having sex.
- He LOVES your curves, especially your boobs. He loves grabbing them and squishing them and kneading them and he loves when you wear a low cut shirt and lean forward in it
- He loves your ass more because he doesn't have to worry about you catching him staring as easily
- So, so so whiny and vocal. Especially when he's been staring at your body all day and has spent the majority of it hard in some capacity.
- Loves eating pussy so much. He'll pin you down and bury his face in between your thick thighs until you're teared up from overstimulation and he has a wet spot in his pants from cumming. If you two aren't together yet, he'll sneak into your room at night and eat you out in your sleep.
- Ideally if he had to die, he'd choose to do it by having your legs wrapped around his head until he suffocates
- Would make you cum from oral a number of times then have the best time sticking his tongue in your pussy to clean you up
- He really prefers being submissive or on equal footing with you in the bedroom. Ideally he's being used as your toy to get off, laying on his back to be ridden to completion, letting you control the situation.
- But when he does feel possessive. Angry. Jealous. It feels like a different person takes hold of him. He'll embarrass, threaten, or even eliminate whatever threat he sees to you two being together forever. After they've been taken care of how he sees fit, he'd find you and pound you until walking isn't a possibility the next day. He'll fuck you until your ass is red and your neck is a patchy-reddish purple and cum drips from your hole. If he somehow ever got your permission, he'd do it in front of the other person too. Make them see what they'd be up against if they even tried.
- And if you were being watched during, he's going into overdrive with the theatrics. It doesn't matter if he has to edge himself, overstimulate himself, or power through muscle pain and lack of breath, he'll do it so show how great of a partner he is.
- The added benefit to this for him is that you'll have no choice but to be taken care of by him at least for a short period of time. He'd happily feed you and bathe you and massage you as much as you need.
#sol brugmansia#the kid at the back vn#the kid at the back sol#The kid at the back#solivan brugmansia#solivan x reader#chubby reader#fem reader
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Before Trueform!Sukuna realises he wants to be with you....
Sukuna wasn't exactly sure what to do with you at first. He'd pillaged your village, and you'd been the only survivor. Apparently, you were the healer's daughter and somehow managed to just not be there while he was killing everyone.
He was bored by the time you got back to your village, idly sitting atop some of the ruins as you walked through the desolate grounds, a basket of herbs and leaves in your arms.
Since then, he'd just let you tag along his journey. Sukuna's not exactly sure why you're fine with this, but he assumes you were mistreated while you'd lived in the village. There's scars over your body, and you get quiet whenever conversation leans towards family.
Sukuna doesn't exactly mind your presence. He's grown used to it, a bit stoic, really. You're like a companion he even forgets he has sometimes. You dress his wounds when he's injured, and you cook sometimes.
You're a good cook. He'll admit that. Even when it comes to human meat. You never eat it with him, but you cook it delectably.
Sometimes, when he's really frustrated, you let him have his way with you. There's no romance, no feelings, Sukuna's heart is like lead when he's between your legs, fucking into you on grassy planes and the open outdoors. But your body is just divine; you're tight and warm and soft, and your moans are nice to hear.
You like clothes. At least he assumes you do. Whenever he finishes slaughtering, you come out from the forest where you stay while he kills. You go into the houses, picking out clothes from dead girls' closets. He doesn't know yet why he bothers to wait for you, while he follows you around quietly while you go house to house.
He's fucked you in a lot of dead girls' jewelry. Sometimes, he thinks you like it in a sick, twisted way, letting him feast on the sweetness between your legs as you palm the jewels of merchant wives he's just murdered, blood still on the gems sometimes.
But Sukuna doesn't mind. He doesn't mind much about you.
You're a bit on the quiet side some days. Some days, you chat his ear off. He's grown used to your volatile personality. And well, he guesses he can live with that.
You're good company, and he can learn to live with you for a long while. He doesn't mind it. Maybe one day he'll finally settle down. Maybe with you.
Maybe Sukuna will have a little place deep in the mountains, away from civilisation, and you'll be there too, doing mundane life things with him, keeping him company the way you do now. It's a stupid thing to imagine, and he doesn't know why he does. He wants you in a house with him like you are now. He wants.... he wants you.
But he thinks that's what he wants. As he watches you roast a skewer of meat over a flame he set, he thinks that he wants more of this with you. A touch of domesticity, maybe a little more affection when fucking.
Yeah. Sukuna wants a quiet life with you.
#jjk#jjk smut#jjk x reader#ryomen sukuna smut#ryomen sukuna x reader#sukuna#sukuna x reader#sukuna smut#jujutsu kaisen#jujustu sukuna#true form sukuna#true form sukuna x reader
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Soo, that's how I see them! What are you thoughts? I'll explain myself below! - Big spoon/little spoon I mean, Ranma likes to hold Akane in his arms and it feels like the right thing (aka "manly" thing) to do, but he can't resist to the idea of relaxing a bit. Akane, on the other hand, loves feeling like a safe place for Ranma. - Lends/borrow clothes Okay maybe I forgot for a moment that Ranma canonically borrows clothes from Akane, and I didn't move the red square enough to the right way....... But there's something so warm about seeing your girlfriend wearing your clothes in the morning... Ranma probably loves it. After all, it's the "manly" thing to do and Akane looks really cute with oversized clothes. His clothes. Hmmmm I was thinking about it A LOT when I drew the red mark. - Pet names I've been reading a lot of Rankane fanfics, so I got used to Ranma calling Akane by 'Kane or tomboy - Introverted/Extroverted Ranma slightly leans toward being introverted because he spent most of his childhood just travelling/fighting with his father. So maybe he's not used to being around other people but he manages pretty well - Affection through words Akane can learn how to communicate her feelings better, but my boy Ranma spent so much time communicating through fighting that I think it’s a lost cause. His love languages are physical touch and quality time for sure.
- Confession Ranma is afraid of rejection, so he needed to be 100% sure Akane liked him back before managing to say anything. Akane has her pride but over time she gets that side of Ranma.
- Bugs It's said the only thing Ranma fears is cats so... yeah - Drives the car I didn't think too deeply about this one since I don't drive but I think they would be okay - Cooking Maybe I was too kind with Akane, but!!! If in Ryugenzawa arc she got to cook a curry that tasted ok, I believe she'll handle basic cooking in the future! Ranma will take on the housewife role when he wants to eat more elaborate meals or to treat Akane. - PDA Yeah, after everything they've been through, they would prefer some privacy - Overprotective/chill going I think the "touch my fiancée again and you'll be dead" thing is self-explanatory - Has NO relationship experience Self explanatory.
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Chapter 5 - It's Not Enough
Tags: Dean Winchester/Female Reader, Sam Winchester/Reader (platonic), light fluff, mutual pining, angst, light smut, Dean's got the Mark of Cain, uh oh, kind of sick Dean? You'll see.
Summary/Warnings: You confront Dean, and the betterlust starts to become a problem. Usual Warnings, little extra angst.
Author's Note: Welcome to feelings town, USA, population 3 (Dean, Her, and us)
Chapter title from Untouched by The Veronicas
Word Count: 6.5k
Read on A03!
Chapter 4 - Chapter 6
You haven’t seen Sam in three days. He’d walked out of the garage and seemingly vanished, not present at dinner, or in the library, or the Dean Cave. You’d poked your head into his room the next morning, frowned around the empty space, and felt your heart almost stop when you’d realized his bag was gone. His bag, and gun, and phone, and—as you’d learned after shifting through his dressers—enough clothing for at least a week. Later, after you’d told Dean, you’d noticed that he’d taken one of your spare, stolen cars with him.
“I mean,” you’d run your hand over the roof of a disgustingly expensive Jaguar—stolen because you had been certain the owner wouldn’t miss it—and sighed. “At least I was right.”
When you’d turned to look at Dean—practically hovering over your body—he’d just been staring at you. You’d raised your brows and nudged his shoulder with yours, and he’d blinked like you’d just shaken him out of a dream.
“Right, uh,” He’d rubbed where you’d touched him, looking between you and the car. “Right about what?”
“The cars. I’d said they’d be useful, so me and Sam could drive without taking the impala.”
He’d chuckled. “Sure, Sweetheart.”
“I was right-“
“Hey,” Dean had raised his hands in surrender. “I said sure-“
“No, you said sure.” You drop your voice to mimic his tone, holding his innocent expression with a glare, and he shrugs.
“I’m not really seein’ the difference-“
You’d rolled your eyes and turned back to the car. “Of course you wouldn’t.”
He’d taken a step closer—suddenly pressed right against your back—and his voice had been low and gravely and wholly unhelpful in your ear. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You can’t hear your own voice, Dean.” You’d mumbled, keeping all your attention on the glint of light off the paint. “I can. That’s your sure when you’re, um…”
You’d trialed off, and his hand had somehow moved to your chin, turning you to face him. “When I’m what.”
“Making fun of me?” You’d said it breathless, like a question, and Dean’s nostrils had flared.
“Well then.” He’d muttered, and you could’ve sworn he’d looked down at your lips. “Lemme make it clear, Sweetheart. I wasn’t makin’ fun, you were right. Real helpful.”
He’d lingered there for a second—long enough to make the air electric, long enough for you to wonder if this was just a really weird dream—then jerked back, leaving you a little hollow and sunken and bitter.
But he hadn’t left.
He wouldn’t leave.
You haven’t seen Sam since the garage. Dean didn’t seem worried—which was incredibly worrying within itself—and you know Sam’s a least alive, because he texted you twice a day.
Not dead. Back soon.
Tell me if Dean does anything weird.
You might have looked for him. Called him and made him tell you what the fuck possessed him just up and leave you here, tell you where the hell he was, demand to know why he wasn’t helping you deal with this. Deal with Dean, who was doing everything weird. Not chasing after or calling Sam, not trying to find another case, not leaving the bunker for anything.
Not leaving you for anything.
Because it’s been three days, and you haven’t stopped seeing Dean.
He’s with you all the time. Behind you, across from you, at your side, always touching you just a little. A hand on your shoulder or back, fingers brushing your skin or poking your arm, a foot pressed against yours under the table. Following you around like he’s a bodyguard and you’re in grave danger, sitting wherever you sit and eating whenever you eat. Standing outside of the bathroom when you go and refusing to acknowledge your questioning looks, walking you to bed every night—but refusing to ever actually look at or enter your room—and waiting for you in the kitchen every morning.
He’s always waiting for you in the kitchen. Already up and shuffling around, and you’re not quite sure he’s actually sleeping, because when you see him his skin is a little sallowed, and his eyes are heavy with bags, and he leans on the counter like his knees feel weak. Dean looks sick, every single morning, and every morning you wonder if you’d imagined it. Because his eyes meet yours and suddenly he’s full of color. Flashing you a smile and saying teasing words, no longer the hollow, deadened man you’d just seen. When you walk in he looks like an animal or husk, and then seconds later he looks like Dean.
And you’re so confused.
Sam’s gone, doing Sam things. Dean’s not avoiding you anymore, but there’s clearly something up with him, and nobody will give you a straight answer for what the fuck is going on. You’d even texted Rowena to see if she could look at the spell again, and never gotten a response back. Not even a fuck off, Dearie, I know how to do my job.
It must be the spell. It’s the only logical explanation. Rowena fucked up the spell—and she knows it, which is why she won’t respond to you—and now Dean’s trapped on you for some reason. Maybe he’s feeding the Mark with things you want—him—because Rowena had used your hair, and she wasn’t supposed to do that. It must be why Sam’s gone, to track down Rowena and get her to fix this.
And you should be ill with concern. You should be consumed by doubt about why no one trusts you with this, and drowning in worry for Dean, for what this means for him.
But you’re selfish. Dean is talking to you and smiling at you and touching you, and you’re so confused as to why, but you never want it to end. You never want Dean look anywhere else again, or guide anyone else through another door, or smirk and wink at a face that isn’t yours.
Towards the end of the third day, you don’t think you’re going to be strong enough to find out what’s going on. It’ll crumble this perfect illusion of Dean really, at least in some way, wanting you. Destroy this world where he’s lounging at you side in the Dean cave, he’s pulled your legs over his, and he’s rubbing the skin of your calf like that’s just something he does. Like it’s not something you’ve dreamed of, something that’s going to haunt you for the rest of your life when Sam fixes this and it’s gone forever.
You have to ask him what’s going on now, before you get lost in a drunken haze of this perfect moment and forget your sworn duty. Help Dean. Sitting with Dean isn’t helping him. Feeding your own desire isn’t helping Dean. Indulging a fucked-up spell isn’t helping Dean.
So you push up slightly, bracing yourself on flat palms, and clear your throat.
Dean looks over to you with a drawn brow. “What’s up, Sweetheart?”
He can’t keep calling you Sweetheart like that. The same way he’s always said it, but deeper. Richer. Like there’s something you’ve never noticed in the word that’s suddenly bigger.
“I, um,” you swallow as he scans over your face, and force the words out of your mouth like vomit. “I need to know. I can’t keep, um, I don’t want to just sit here. I need you to tell me. Tell me the truth, please. Tell me what’s wrong.”
“Nothing’s wrong-“
“Don’t lie!” You almost yelp, and he might have flinched. “I know you’re trying to like, protect me from it or something, but don’t. I’m fine, I’m a big girl, I can handle it, I can help, you just need to tell me how.” You lean forward, your voice becoming almost a plea. “Please, Dean, tell me how-“
“You can’t.” He snaps, and it’s firm but not loud. Tired but not angry. It’s worse. “Don’t bother.”
“Dean-“
“I said-“
“I know what you said!” You shake your head, growing a little frantic. “You said I ‘can’t’, which means there is something, and you won’t tell me! Dean, please tell me-“
“No.” He grunts, something heated in his eyes as they bore straight into you. “Drop it.”
“I can’t.” You try and pull your legs away, and his hold on you tightens. “Just, at least tell me why you won’t tell me!”
The room fall into a long, heavy, weighted silence as Dean just stares at you. He’s squeezing on your calf, and his jaw keeps clenching like he’s fighting the words in his mouth.
“Dean,” you whisper, moving your hand to cover his. “Please.”
His eyes shoot to your hands, his grip like iron, and he looks almost feral. Like he’s afraid of your touch, or caught in a trap, or something’s about to snap in his body.
But you try to pull back, guilt eating at the edges of your every nerve, and he holds you there. You can hear his breathes, see the tension in his body, and when he speaks it sounds painful. Growled and strained and pushed through teeth.
“I’m handling it.” He mutters, still staring at your hands. “Got a hold on it. You,” he lets out a long, slow exhale, and his hold on you loosens slightly. “Just, it’s not dangerous. Nothin’ for you to do.”
“But why won’t you tell me-“
“Cause.” His jaw twitches. “I can’t. That’s it.”
“Can’t?” You mumble. “Or won’t?”
He shakes his head, drawing another circle on your skin. “Both.”
He’s not going to move on this. Dean won’t meet your eyes, but he also won’t stop touching you, and he’s one of the most stubborn assholes you’ve ever met. If he’s not going to tell you, you probably couldn’t waterboard it out of him.
But you were right. Something is wrong, and Dean won’t tell you what. He’s almost certainly told Sam, but he hasn’t told you. Because you’re not Sam. You’re not someone he loves, or someone he implicitly trusts. He doesn’t want you, doesn’t need you, doesn’t think you could help. And it’s igniting something that stings behind your eyes, sets something heavy and choked inside your throat.
You can’t look at him. If you look at Dean, fully look at him, he’ll look handsome and sad and angry, and you’ll give in. You’ll stay here, where you’re not really wanted, and eat your own worry and fear and love until you know how to pretend that this is fine. That you don’t feel so small and useless, that Dean didn’t just take a bite out of your heart and leave you a little emptier than before, without even knowing.
He doesn’t want you to help him. He may even think you can, but it doesn’t matter, because he isn’t going to let you.
And you can’t stay here or you’ll start crying, and he’ll think you’re weak and emotional. Or worse, he’ll try to comfort you. He’ll ask why you look like he’s kicked you in the gut, and you’ll have to lie to him.
You don’t want to lie to Dean. Not right now. He’s lying to you, but you can’t lie to him. You’ve never even been able to stomach lying to Dean. It’s always make you feel itchy and sick, and right now you already feel so terrible that lying to Dean might make you vomit.
“Okay.” You whisper, tugging your legs away, and this time he lets you. “I got it.”
He says your name as you stand up, and he sounds like he’s in pain, and you can’t look at him to check. “Where are you going?”
“Bed.” You turn away, and every step to the door is mechanical and forced. “I’m tired.”
Dean’s silent behind you. He doesn’t call after you, or chase you down the hall, or even say goodnight. He just lets you go.
You don’t think he knows he had you in the first place. You don’t think he knows that, if he grabbed your arms and asked you to stay, you would’ve. If he apologized, you’d forgive him before he was even done speaking. He’s done worse than this. You fought over less, and forgiven him for more.
But he doesn’t seem to be seeking your forgiveness. And you still have enough pride to not demand it of him. To not stomp back into the room and either scream at him like a scorned lover, or crawl on your knees and beg him to tell you. Either way you’d make a total, desperate, pleading fool of yourself, and right now your dignity—or your fake mask of dignity—is all you have left.
So you’ll hide until this passes. Until Sam gets back, and Dean gets better, and you can all pretend nothing ever happened in the first place. You’ll spiral into thoughts of what could be wrong, and busy yourself with things that don’t quiet the voice in your head. The one that keeps hissing why would he have ever trusted you, you’re not that important, and you’ll force yourself think about anything but Dean. You’ll get ready for bed and not worry about if Dean will even sleep tonight. You’ll shower and try to deny yourself of the usual fantasy’s where Dean’s under the water with you, and he’s grinning at you as you fall to your knees for him in the steam.
Then he would carry you to bed, keeping you wrapped in a towel after he’d insisted on drying you off. He’d set you down on the mattress—which suddenly feels far too big and far too lonely—and crawl over your body, with a smug, annoying grin that’s far too innocent for the predatory look of hunger in his eyes. He’d kiss you all over your face until you’re giggling, and then press his palm against your core and you’d make a loud, needy gasp as he moved to nip and kiss at your breasts-
There’s a knock at your door, and you have to a long unsteady breath to clear your head. You’d somehow ended up with your back flat on the bed, your own hand between your thighs as you’d lost yourself in the empty dream of Dean wanting you, just like you’d sworn not to. You can’t speak right now, not until you’ve stopped grinding against your own fingers, stopped arching off the bed, stopped thinking about Dean’s pretty, full mouth wandering over your skin, moving lower, sucking on your clit and tongue fucking you until you screamed his name-
There’s another knock, and this time you hear your name. Grumbled through the door as Dean’s shadow shifts around outside your room, cruelly not leaving until you answer.
“What, Dean.” Your voice is flatter than you’d meant it to be, but you are tired, and if you use emotion you’ll cry or scream. And you really don’t want to do either right now.
“Are you, uh, you gonna open the door?”
He sounds uncertain, and you sigh as you push off the mattress and. You could say no. You don’t want to say no.
“What.” You yank open the door with a glare, and your mouth almost falls open as you take him in. He looks horrible. In an hour his skin has turned gray, his eyes bloodshot, and his lips are in a thin, tight line.
Any anger you’d felt vanishes in one, sharp breath.
“Jesus, Dean, are you-“
“Look, I know I don’t have the right to, but I gotta just ask-“
“Dean-“
“Can I sleep in here?” He scratches the back of his neck, his words barely a mumble as he stares at the floor. “Please.”
You blink at him in surprise. You’ve slept in the same room—even the same bed—as Dean countless times. In cheap motels when you couldn’t afford two rooms, on stiff mattresses when the only other choice was an oddly stained couch. But never at the bunker, where you all get your own rooms, and comfortable beds, and personal space. Dean’s never even been in your room. He’s knocked on your door to grab you for dinner or a last-minute hunt, staring stubbornly at the floor like he is now, remaining a solid step from the threshold like even a toe in your room would kill him.
He’s at the mantle of the door now. Still refusing to meet your eyes, still tense, but also braced like he’s waiting for permission. And you know, if you slammed the door in his face, he’d shuffle away
And you’re a selfish, lovesick dumbass, so instead of kicking him out with his tail between his legs, you look over him wearily and ask, “Why?”
“I, uh,” he glances up at you, and makes a face as if you’d shot him, his voice dropping to a low mumble. “Wanna. If you’re still pissed, I get it, but I just-“ He takes a step back, looking more and more sick by the second. “You know what, forget it. Stupid idea-“
You catch his arm, and he freezes, staring at you with something like fear in his eyes.
“I didn’t say no.” You say, because you’re a helpless dumbass, and maybe this is how he needs you. Dean isn’t good at asking for things, or apologizing, or saying please, and the fact that he’d even done one of those things tells you he means it. You can kick his ass for being such a weird dick later, when this is fixed. Right now he looks like he’s on death’s door, and if this is all he can offer you, you’ll take it.
And that’s pathetic and desperate and probably not that healthy.
And you don’t care. Dean lets you guide him into your room, over to your bed, and he won’t stop staring at you, so you don’t care. You’re not speaking, but you don’t feel like you need to. He’s listening to you in the silence of your movements, laying down when you push slightly at his chest, pulling his sheets up when you hand them to him, and waiting for you as you flip off the lights and round the mattress to your side. When you rest your hand over his, he laces your fingers together and doesn’t go further.
You don’t know how long you lay there, staring at the ceiling and holding Dean’s hand. He coughs after what might have been a minute or a year, moving his thigh to press to yours under the covers, and you don’t think before you give into his silent request. Rolling on your side so you’re facing him, where you find him already staring at you. He looks better. There’s more color on his face, less taut strain on his shoulder, and when he speaks his voice is still low, but less hoarse.
“I can’t tell you what’s goin’ on,” he mutters your name, squeezing your hand. “But you gotta trust me. It’s for your own good.”
You sigh, and give him a sad, soft smile. “It’s not.”
He says your name again, almost as a warning, and you shake your head, holding his gaze.
“Don’t argue, Dean. You know it’s not. But I’m tired of fighting.” You scoot a little closer, and—in the bravest move of your life—drop your head against his chest. “So I forgive you.”
You can’t hear his breathing. He’s stiff against you, and for a second you think you’d fucked up. Made him uncomfortable, made whatever the fuck is happening come to an abrupt end. And you don’t understand this at all, but you know you don’t want it to stop. Ever.
So when Dean, wraps his arm over your body, keeping you against him in the dark, relief explodes through you like a bomb. It’s a brief, hazy moment where it’s just you and Dean in the dark, and he’s touching you like you’re more than a body, more than a friend, more than important. Touching you like you’re an anchor. A cure.
It—combined with Dean’s heartbeat near your ear, and his hand cradling your head—lulls you to an easy sleep, and sparks dreams where Dean touches you like this for a long, long time.
And you’ve really, truly forgiven him.
But you’re not sure how you’re going to live once this goes away.
——————
Dean didn’t know where he was. It was his room, and every motel in America, and his car. Blurred and melded together, so familiar and simple and Dean’s.
Everything in here was Dean’s. The leather bench he was sitting on, the clothing tossed on the floor around him, his mattress across the room. Her.
She was here. She was naked on the bed, waiting on her knees for Dean with a smile, and so damn hot something inside him was going to explode.
And Dean didn’t know what the hell was going on.
The room kept changing. A pair of boots he’d lost years ago on a hunt were near the door, and then gone. Gone with the door. The wallpaper kept shifting between solid colors and floral patterns and stripes, and then he was in Baby, but still in his room, and the ceiling was a roof. There was wind in his face but no windows, and wheel in his hands for only a second before it was gone. He was on the impala’s bench, then in a wooden chair, then on the bed. Next to Her.
She kept changing too. Her skin was clean one moment, then covered in dirt the next. Her hair was longer, then shorter, then tangled and natty before being well-groomed and framed around Her face. She was naked, but in a strange way where Dean couldn’t actually see her body. The space between Her legs was smooth like a doll, and her boobs were just as amazing as always, but blurred at the nipple. Odd patches of Her body seemed to be covered in static, and Her hands moved in a strange, impossible way, and everything felt off.
But Her face was as gorgeous as it always was. And she was looking at Dean like she always did. With bright eyes and smile that Dean knew could fall so quickly, with something harsher behind her features that Dean had learned not to unleash, and something odd he could never figure out.
She said something Dean couldn’t hear, and his mouth moved like a puppet, saying something back he didn’t understand. She seemed to like it, though, because She laughed and crawled onto Dean’s lap.
She was on his lap. She was under him. She was on her knees.
She was on her knees, and She was touching Dean. Palming him through his jeans, watching him with wide, soft eyes and a smile, taking his cock into Her mouth and moving like she’d done it before. Like She was every great blowjob he’d ever had, but still just her. Those were Her lips wrapped around Dean like he was a popsicle, and his hand was in Her hair, guiding her up and down as she moaned and whined and started to grind onto the air.
Her fingers playing with his balls. Her tits between his cock, before it was suddenly Her mouth again, then her hand, then just her tongue. Licking over the head of him before her teeth grazed the base.
It was Her voice, however muffled and faraway, that whimpered his name around his cock. Her eyes that fluttered when he hit the back of Her throat.
Her mouth Dean came in, and her nails that dug into his thighs as he face-fucked Her through his orgasm. He was high and spinning and dying and so alive, he didn’t know where he was, but he knew he’d never come down. She was so good, she’d touched him, and everything was fucking awesome, and Dean’s whole body felt limp and wired as Her hand pumped him through the last of his release.
And it was Her thumb that swiped a dribble of cum off Her chin. Her lips that closed around that same thumb and sucked Dean off her skin.
He had to touch Her. Dean needed to touch Her, to hold her and make her come apart like that. To knead on Her skin and kiss between her breasts, to shove his fingers deep inside Her at make her unravel, to see if she’d feel even better when it was Her pussy wrapped around his cock instead of her mouth-
Dean’s eyes snapped open, and he couldn’t fucking breathe. He could barely move or think or speak. His eyes were open but filled with black spots and everything was in a painful blur. His blood was burning and heavy in his body, but his skin felt like white-hot ice, and he could taste the salt of sweat falling from his brow.
He could smell it, smell how he was drenched in that same sweat over his body, could feel how the linen sheets tangled over his body felt made him feel like he was being crushed under a mountain. Dean could taste how something foul like bile was up his throat and over his tongue and filling his nose like blood. It clouded over something sweet fruity and familiar, something that he needed to fucking devour before all his muscled seized up and his heart pounded out of his chest.
The better smell came from something he was clinging to like a goddamn teddy bear. It was firmer and warmer than the sheet, but didn’t hurt or ache to touch. It didn’t need to be tangled against Dean’s body, because it fit against him easily, molded into his hold and shifting in shallow movements, and smelling so good. Sugary and a little sour, slightly artificial but natural in Dean’s nose, and he couldn’t place it over the fog eating at his brain, but he needed it-
He inhaled deeply, a little of his vision cleared, and felt a weight drop into his lungs when he realized what he was smelling.
Cherries. Her hair was a little in his face, and it was Her body in Dean’s arms, and he was fucked. The betterlust had an iron grip on his whole body, so he could only see if he was looking at Her, only breath when he buried his face in her hair—like a fucking creep—and only move if it was to touch Her. She was knocked the hell out, and Dean wouldn’t be able to leave the bed until she woke up and he could trail after her wherever she went.
Then he remembered their fight, remembered that She might not want him near her, and it was like a stab right into his gut. Ripping through is organs and tearing a low groan from his chest, because he was a fucking idiot and now she probably hated him. He was only in here because She’d pitied him, and Dean didn’t want her pity. He just wanted Her.
He couldn’t have Her. Especially not now, when she was probably sick of him and his bullshit. When She’d left him, and he’d deserved it. He’d make the same choice again—if Dean told Her how she could help him, She’d do it out of obligation and he’d lose her forever—but that didn’t make him any less of a dick. If he was a better, stronger man none of this would be a problem. He’d be able to sit next to Her and not only think about how gorgeous she’d look under him or straddling him or with his cock in her mouth-
Another flash of pain cracked over his bones, and he couldn’t move but he had to. All the betterlust wanted was Her, and Dean couldn’t have Her, but it didn’t seem capable of getting the memo. Dean could either have Her, or die.
So he was done. He’d never be able to live with himself if he made Her do that. His own love for Her was just stronger than the betterlust, and it was telling him that She deserved better than him. That Dean couldn’t offer Her anything good, and if Dean hurt Her he might as well do the betterlust’s job for it. At least this way She’d mourn him instead of remembering him as a monster. It was the last thing Dean had managed to keep from Her, how truly horrible he was, had been, was doomed to be. How the only lines he’d never crossed were the unforgivable, unjustifiable ones.
And he wouldn’t cross them now. Even as he felt another tear carve over his brain, Dean would make sure he was put down like the feral dog he was.
Over the ringing in his ears, Dean could hear his phone. The sound was muffled in his pants, and the only thing that allowed him to grab it was the knowledge that, if he didn’t, the buzzing would wake Her up.
He managed to roll over to answer the call, not bothering to look at the ID and forcing words through his teeth.
“Who is this.”
“It’s Sam? Your brother?” Sam sounded concerned through the static of the speaker. That didn’t matter. Lately, Sam always sounded concerned.
“What.”
“That’s it? Just what? No questions about where I’ve been-“
“Sam, I’m not in the fucking mood for this-“
“Why?” Sam was suddenly urgent, his voice sounding a little further away. “Did something happen?”
“Nothing happened.” Dean grunted, glancing over his shoulder to where She was still asleep. “Don’t feel great, but I’ve had worse. It’s fine, Sammy, go back to your secret mission.”
He was lying. Dean had been through a lot of shit, but he’d never died slowly like this, with the cure only a foot away and unable to be taken. And Sam must have heard it in his voice or something, because the little shit pushed on.
“Dean, do you feel sick?”
“Just the flu or somethin’, it’ll be fine-“
“What about your, uh,” There was a pause, something shuffling around on Sam’s end before he spoke again. “Your stomach? Have you thrown up?”
He had. Last night after She left, he’d heaved over the toilet until he was spitting up bile.
“I’ve got the flu, dude, I’m gonna throw up-“
“How does your head feel-“
“Like shit, but I’m fine-“
“Do you have a fever?”
Dean rolled his eyes, and it was getting harder and harder to speak, let alone answer dumb questions. “How the hell would I know, I’m not a thermometer-“
Sam said Her name, and he might as well have shot Dean in the heart. “You can ask her-“
“No.” Dean snapped, lowering his voice to a hiss. “We’re not involving her in this, Sam, that’s it-“
“Because you love her. And you can’t stay away from her right now.”
Dean almost cracked his jaw. “I don’t know what the fuck you’re getting at-“
“Did you guys get in a fight?”
“Watch it-“
“Dean.” Sam sounded exhausted, his long sigh buzzing in the speaker. “Please. Just answer the question, and you can beat me up when I get back.”
If he was stronger, Dean would’ve told Sam to shove it and hung up. But he wasn’t positive he’d make it until Sam got back, let alone be in any condition to kick his ass. And he couldn’t stand the thought of one of his last conversations with his brother being all lies and anger. Dean was getting really sick of lies and anger.
“We got into it last night,” he muttered. “She must’ve figured out somethin’ was up. She asked to help, and I told her no.”
“Why did you-“
“Because I’m not that much of a fucking asshole.” Dean rolled onto his back, running his hand over his face. “I’m not gonna, I don’t know, coerce her into fucking me-“
“But that would help.”
Dean thought it would. It probably would. There weren’t a lot of ways out of this, but that seemed to be one of them. And it was only slightly less impossible than the other one.
Not that it mattered. Dean wouldn’t, couldn’t, have either of them.
“It doesn’t matter.” Dean muttered. “I’m not doin’ that, Sam.”
“Okay. Is that enough?”
Dean frowned. “Enough for wh-“
“More than enough, Samuel.” Rowena cut Dean off through the phone. “You could’ve stopped the poor boy when he almost started whining after you said her name.”
“Sam.” Dean growled, his grip on the phone white knuckled. “Why the hell am I talking to Rowena.”
“Well, Dearie, your dear brother is quite worried about you and the little spell we did, and I wanted to check and make sure you were, as Samuel put it, being a fucking dumbass-“
“Rowena, just,” Sam sighed again, and his voice became a little clearer. Dean must have been taken off speakerphone. “Look, Dean, I know you. If what Rowena told me is right, you probably feel like death right now, and-“
“Sam.” Dean grunted. “Even if I do feel like I’m bein’ ripped open and stuffed with fucking spikes, I’m not gonna-“
“I know. I’m not going to tell you to. You just gotta hang on until we get back, and we’ll fix this.”
Dean swallowed, turning his head to watch Her as he spoke. “Fix it how.”
Sam sighed. “Reverse it.”
“No, Sam, I’m not goin’ back to before-“
“I’m not exactly thrilled about it either, man, but we’ve got two options. Rowena undoes this, or you tell her.”
“I’m not telling her-“
“Then Rowena’s undoing this.” Sam’s voice became almost stern, still lined with exhaustion, and Dean felt even more like a piece of shit. “That’s all we’ve got, Dean. We’re heading out now, don’t die until we get back. Okay?”
“Fine.” Dean held back a wet, painful cough because that probably wouldn’t help anyone. “See you.”
He hung up the phone before Sam could, and stared at the ceiling until his gaze blurred once more and everything faded into a haze. Moving in and out of darkness, the only sign of any rest being how he’d suddenly be on his stomach, or side, or under the sheets. Feeling worse and worse and worse until it was all just horrible, stabbing, blinding pain.
Then he was holding Her again. And when the world came back into focus Her pretty eyes were on his, her face barely an inch away, and something loosened over Dean’s throat.
“Dean?” She whispered, and she sounded so sad, it made Dean’s heart twist. “You’re hot.”
His tongue was loosen by the betterlust, and his judgment was washed in a craving for Her, and he was high on cherries and shea butter and something awesome he’d never smelled before—but he’d also never been this close to Her before—so Dean wasn’t able to stop his own stupid mouth from grinning at Her like a lovesick, drunken idiot.
“You’re hot.”
She flushed, and Dean was barely conscious enough to register why Her lips were slack and her eyes were wide. “What?”
“I dunno,” he mumbled, his hand drifting up Her back without a thought. “What’d you say?”
“I said you’re hot, Dean.” Her hand moved to rest over Dean’s brow, and he might have moaned. “Jesus, you’re burning.”
“Huh.” Dean moved his own hand to cover Her’s, keeping it against his skin and never breaking her gaze. “Damn.”
“Dean-“
“You smell good,” he blurted, because there didn’t seem to be anything left to stop him. He felt faint and hollow and buried, and the betterlust wouldn’t let up until Dean really touched Her, so all his willpower had to go into not fucking touching her. “And I like, uh, your mouth. ’S nice.”
“You,” She shook her head, her brows knitting as she scans over Dean’s face. “What?”
“I like your mouth. And your voice. You got a nice voice,” Dean slurred out Her name, and he wasn’t even sure what he was saying anymore. “Sounds good. Like whiskey.”
“My voice sounds like whiskey-“
“Uh huh,” he nodded, strange little lights starting to cloud his vision. “And a pie.”
“I’m gonna go call Sam-“
“No!” He was still lucid enough to keep Her hand against his forehead, to keep Her here. At his side, before he went. “Stay.”
“Dean, you look terrible-"
“You look pretty.” Dean couldn’t see Her, but She sounded worried. She was always really pretty when she was worried. “Don’t go.”
She sighed, somewhere near his cheek. “I have to. If you won’t tell me how to help you, I need to get someone who can-“
“You can help.”
There was silent for a long moment, and then a sharp, “What do you mean I can help.”
“Could make it better.” Dean let himself roll a little further into Her touch, because it kept him conscious just a little longer. “You make everything better.”
“Dean, I need you to tell me what to do, now-“
“Nah.“
“Dean Winchester,” Her other hand was on his cheek now, slapping him lightly. “I swear to fucking God if you don’t-“
Her voice faded into a sweet, calm song in the background, and Dean didn’t feel well. She sounded pissed. She was pretty when she was pissed too. She was always pretty, and Dean really didn’t feel good.
There was one more thing he had to say. Something that always lived on the back of his tongue, and was finally fighting its way to his teeth. Something he had to tell Her, had to do, or there was no chance he wouldn’t end up in something worse than hell when he was done.
He murmured Her name, and everything stopped. It was just Her hands on his cheek and brow, Dean’s own ragged breath, and silence as he dragged everything he had left to the surface to look at Her. Really look at Her.
She looked beautiful, but she also seemed ill. And worried. Maybe after this She’d never have to be worried again.
This was probably a dick move, if Dean’s really headed where he thinks he is. But the betterlust demands he say it, and maybe this small offering of something will keep him alive a few hours longer. To see Sam.
“Love you,” Dean told Her. Whispered to Her. Breathed at Her. She might not have heard it, so he said it again, starting with Her name. “I love you.”
If She responded, Dean didn’t hear it. The pound of his blood in his ears became overwhelming, and he could only taste rot, and something pulled him up into warmth and cherries and whiskey as his vision went white.
He hoped She’d heard it.
He hoped She remembered how Dean loved her, and not how he’d been such a fucking dick.
Dean really hoped, when this was done, She’d smile again knowing he’d loved her, and never have to worry again.
End Note: I'd apologize for this one, but I'm not sorry. Trust it'll pay off BIG TIME next chapter.
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𝐌𝐘 𝐒𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑, 𝐌𝐘 𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐏𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐈𝐁𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘
𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: even as you grow older, you'll always be his baby sister
𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: strawhats x sanjissister!reader
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 3.5k
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: lowercase intentional, cursing, allusions to insecurities
𝐚/𝐧: this is basically just sanji curing my childhood wish for a big brother. i have more ideas about how sanji would be at his wits end with a reckless little sister so look out for those hehe
𝐎𝐏 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 | 𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐉𝐈'𝐒 𝐒𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐀𝐆𝐀
i imagine sanji is two years older than you, but it never felt like it. you and him were never apart for too long, more by obligation than choice.
so it was no surprise when sanji dragged confused little you with him as he hid from the pirates invading the ship, only outing your hiding place in the name of saving his food from oregano.
you'd hurried after him, of course; that's all you knew to do at such a young age.
and when zeff had sanji up against the wall, being so young meant you also knew only one thing to do in this situation: you bit zeff, latching your teeth around his arm and drawing blood from his broken skin.
zeff howled and very nearly threw you into the wall as well, before his eyes zeroed in on you, this little girl with wild eyes and a mighty strong jaw. he only jerked you off him, then, staring from you to sanji then back to you. "wha—? what kind of little gremlin just bites a man?!" your eyes were steely. "I'm not a gremlin." then, "bitch." though it was clear you didn't understand what it meant, probably catching it from the other chefs of the now sieged ship. gritting his teeth, zeff continued on his shouting. it made you and sanji angry, and zeff marveled at how your expressions were twin–like, despite your difference in appearance. then, the ship had wrecked, and it all went downhill from there.
sanji always made sure you’d eaten more than him on that damn rock, even when you fought him and scratched him as he forced a morsel of bread into your mouth.
he'd held your hand as you cried the first ten days, and he had mourned when on the eleventh, your eyes took on a dead sort of sheen, like you were now a decade older in the head.
it was unnerving, really.
sanji learned a lot on that rock. like what it meant to be the responsible one, or at least more responsible than you.
sanji just wanted you to listen, but it seemed like all his words went in one ear and out the other. you wouldn't eat despite all his begging, only staring at him with that horridly blank stare and pushing the food back toward him. tears started to form at the corners of his eyes as he held up the very last piece of bread. "please," he begged. "please just eat it." you shook you head, forcing the tears to stream down his cheeks. that broke through your indifference, your frown deepening as you inched closer to him. "we'll half it," you offered, taking his shaking hand and guiding him to split the bread, taking one half and waiting for him to calm down before you ate in silence. you really did feel older than him, and he didn't like it. only when that night fell did he realize you were simply a very, very good actor. your whimpers were like thunder in his ears as he sprang up from a featherlight sleep, his eyes locking on your quivering form just a hair's breadth away. "y/n?" he whispered, shaking your shoulder. you spooked awake, and in the reflection of moonlight he saw glinting tears traced down your face. "nightmare?" your nod and sniffle tore him up inside, and in seconds he was hugging you to his chest, telling you stories till he was sure you were at least sleeping better than him. "someday," he said, "we'll find a place where we'll never go hungry. where every flavor and ingredient can be found. the all blue. i'll take us there, and we'll never starve again." you were asleep by the time he started plotting to raid zeff's side of the rock in the morning. it had been sanji who guarded you from seeing the stump left of zeff's leg, ignoring you when you asked him to explain what was happening.
growing up on the baratie was an experience, for sure.
your only company were the crooks who worked in the kitchen alongside you and sanji, and you found them amusing company indeed.
especially when they started teaching you how to be a remarkable little con-artist. once in your late teens, it wasn't long before you'd abandoned your work in the kitchen to wait tables.
not only were the tips amazing to pocket away, but your charming smile and whimsical attitude made you a master of sympathy.
there isn't a customer you can't placate, a fight you can't break up; sanji would never admit it, but you'd save him from one too many brawls with just a single simper.
it was easy to hold that over his head, but for some reason, sanji never let it keep him from completely wrecking your social life.
to say sanji is protective of you is the understatement of the century; you'd be the first to attest to that.
it was growing to be annoying and just plain inconvenient, if you're being honest.
was it too much to ask for some time to yourself... with the company of a horny teenage boy... in your quarters... alone?
"sanji!" you hissed, face bright red as your brother dragged you and this young sailor boy--you hadn't caught his name--out of a broom cupboard, his grip on the boy's collar deathly. throwing the boy aside, sanji stormed back up to him. "did you touch my sister? you think you can just take advantage of her like tha'?" you ran your hands over your face and rushed to separate sanji, shaking in anger, from the boy, shaking in his boots. "stop! he wasn't takin' advantage of me, sanji. hell, i started it!" "y-yeah!" the sailor boy piped in, cowering behind you. "she was all over me and—" "shut up," you and sanji said in tandem, shooting the boy matching glares that sent the poor sailor darting for his crew's ship.
as the years dragged on, you and sanji couldn't deny that the idea of remaining on the baratie all your lives would be... well... sad.
you wanted more for yourselves—you specifically wanted to get sanji away from zeff's constant criticism, no matter how well–meaning it was.
but the years really were dragging, and could you ever really bare to leave the man you'd nearly called father on several occasions? could you leave the shit-hole restaurant that raised you in it's wooden arms?
probably not. you'd probably die washing dishes (snore) and burning water (whoops) and charming the pants off grumpy old men (yuck).
that is, it always seemed that way until a grand vessel with a goat for a masthead docked at the baratie.
the day had been it's usual level of boring, until two customers decided to have a little row which heated up with every word shot back at each other.
you, having a good track record, rushed forth to prevent the fight just itching to break out. but today was not your lucky day.
"gentlemen," you grinned. stepping between the two men, you held up your hands and settled each of them with batted eyes and a soft expression. "what's this about, hmm?" sanji loitered at a nearby table, refilling drinks with one eye on you. he was ripely kicked out of the kitchen, snug in his waiter's jacket. one of them huffed, "he's at my table!" "i don't see your name on it!" the other snapped. your patience wanned, your thoughts screaming man-child. "i'm sure we can work something out. just please, don't start anything in the restaurant." the first man seemed to consider you, his eyes dragging up and down your form, but any progress you might have made was destroyed by the next second. "i ain't movin', girl. he can go shit 'imself in the corner." that was how you winded up directly between them, your hands pushing against either chest to keep them separated, your heartrate accelerating as they pressed in on you as if you weren't even there. grunting, you called out, "brother?" in seconds, sanji had a grip on your sleeve in one hand and a fistful of the first man's collar in the other. he jerked you away from them and swiftly shoved the men away from each other. "sister," he said in turn, cracking his neck as the men continued to not learn their lesson. "take these rolls to table four, yeah?" you didn't need to be told twice, swiping the tray of bread from his arm and beelining for a booth housing a motley crew of people. behind you, grunts and winces and crashing could be heard, followed by the thick silence of your brother's victory. you set the tray down on the table, shooting a tight lipped smile up at the guests. a boy wearing a peculiar straw hat locked you in place with his bright eyes and wondered aloud, "he's a great fighter." "yep," you quipped. "a real hero. any drinks for the handsome crew?"
it turned out the boy with the straw hat was crazy: he intended to become king of the pirates.
you admired his tenacity, of course, but really? he had a death wish.
still, the more you spoke to luffy and the more you observed his character, being king of the pirates didn't seem so crazy. he had guts, that was for sure.
as crazy as it sounded, you started to believe he could do it.
so it was really no surprise you said yes when luffy asked you to join his crew.
he had already asked sanji the day before—before luffy's swordsman friend got obliterated by a warlord of the sea.
you didn't know him, but when you rushed onto the going merry after zeff an sanji, and you saw the bloodied man lying there, you could barely move a muscle.
you were never good around the air of death, and it was all around roronoa zoro, lingering like a knock you expected but never came. so you couldn't move, not even when they moved zoro to a bed, out of sight. not when zeff and sanji retreated back to the baratie.
you snapped back to life at the sound of luffy's voice, finding him leaning down to be directly eye level with you. he was still speaking, and it felt sort of like being under water, till finally, you surfaced. "sorry what?" "are you okay?" he asked, brows knit. you pondered your response while looking anywhere but his face. "yeah, sorry. i... i don't like feeling helpless, i guess." you vaguely gestured to where zoro's limp body had laid upon the nearby table. "being out of control makes me wig out." luffy tilted his head. "why're you out of control?" "because," you nearly laughed. "your friend is dying." immediately, you regretted your word choice, hating how the light fizzled from his eyes. "he's not dying," luffy snapped back. "he was injured and now he's healing. why does everyone insist he's dying?" you shuffled on your feet. "right, sorry." when you met his eyes again, there wasn't any frustration like you assumed there would be. instead, he settled you with a curious look. "you don't have to keep apologizing." luffy was an odd type of pirate, you thought with a forced little grin. "then how will people know i'm sorry?" he smiled. "fair point." taking a hold of your sleeve, luffy started to drag you deeper into the going merry, leading you right to where zoro was laid. his grip on you loosened as he passed into the room, but you stayed cemented in the doorway. nami was there, sullen looking. you watched as nami berated luffy and stormed away, shoulder checking you on the way out, leaving luffy smileless. that didn't sit well with you. walking up beside him, you took a kneel just as he did, and turned your eyes on zoro's pallid face. "hello," you murmured. silence was your reply. "i'm y/n. you don't know me... your friends care a lot about you. it'd be... sad, if you died." luffy stiffened at your side. "which you won't! i've heard of you. no way the demon pirate hunter will let—let a scratch get him..." as your rambling died down, luffy slowly shifted to look at you, all serious for a moment. unnerved, you chuckled nervously. "what?" a tiny grin worked its way onto his lips, a glimmer in his eyes. "will you join my crew?" you nearly laughed. "luffy, you don't want me." "yeah. i do. why else would i ask?" "i'm useless." "you're kind," he said, shutting you up as a flush bloomed in your cheeks. "not everyone can say that."
a long story short, you joined luffy's crew of strawhats right along sanji.
your parting from the baratie had been watery, to say the least. whilst sanji shouted curses at zeff and stormed out to luffy's ship, you stood shaky as zeff huffed, his eyes roaming toward you.
you very nearly tripped head over foot in your sprint to wrap him in a hug. he was the only father you'd ever had, really. leaving him was bittersweet.
the going merry was a very nice place to call home, in your opinion.
you were a jack of all trades amidst the crew, choosing to do odd jobs around the ship. most days, you found yourself asking around with a little list in your journal, taking note of everyone’s grocery needs and even keeping track of the ship’s supply inventory.
not only that, but you found your crewmates tended to lack the sense to take care of themselves in a timely manner.
that is, none of them could be faster than your attentive eye, and no one was safe from your protective inclinations.
nami was attentive, but she tended to disassociate, and when she did it was very hard to get her back. she would go on for hours, working herself to the brink of exhaustion, not accepting even a sip of water. (she couldn't stop you, however, from forcing a cup of ice water down her throat. even she was intimidated by your determination to hydrate her).
then there was zoro, who absolutely refused to allow anyone to help him dress his wounds; and since he wasn't the best at it, you often stared at his haphazard bandages with fear of infection. he brushed you off enough times to invoke your wrath upon him. (zoro quit refusing after the first three times you ambushed him, wrapping your arm around his neck and blocking his airway).
you always listened to usopp's stories, but oftentimes you grew tired of the repetitive and clearly fake tall tales. you wanted to know his real stories, and you told him so. he'd laughed awkwardly and replied that he wasn't interesting enough for that. (he was fairly surprised at your insistence, and was warmed at your fascination with the silly story of how he met kaya).
luffy, your captain, was a walking migraine most days. he was smart, but just as brave, and jumped to action faster than you could process. it left you stressed beyond what you could handle, and this alone was enough to make luffy more cautious. (he never wanted to make you unhappy, so you'd inadvertently given him some of your common sense).
finally, sanji, who you'd been dealing with all your life. you knew all his tells, whether it was baking macarons when he was upset or going eerily silent for far too long. you always knew what he needed, and when he needed it. (more often than not all he needed was a compliment, and not just from some doe–eyed woman at a bar; a word of sentiment from his baby sister could drag him out of any stupor).
overtime, the crew took to calling you their boatswain. after all, you fit the job description, and you took the title with pride.
as time flew by with the strawhats, you began to listen to the dreams and aspirations of the others, and began to wonder what exactly you wanted out of life. the all blue was sanji’s dream… so what was yours?
the going merry was docked at a friendly port for the next few days, meaning the crew was free to explore and roam the city as they pleased. you, however, remained behind that very first night.
as far as you knew, the others had decided upon a bar for the night’s celebration. The quiet dwelling over the ship was calming, and from your sweat crisscrossed on the afterdeck you had a wide view of the stars.
your notebook rested on your belly, pen tight between your fingers, thoughts moving a million miles an hour. there hadn’t been time to get shopping done that day, so you would rouse the ship early the next morning and assign them to fetch groceries in pairs of two—just to be safe.
and though the heavy thinking could wait till the morning, you were stuck in a spiral of inventory and lists. it was… exhausting, and offered little to no fulfillment. still, it was what you did to help.
A familiar patter of boots broke your reverie, and you peeked up to find sanji coming to loom over you, his hands shoved in his pockets. his suit jacket was draped over one shoulder and his hair was a mess—he wasn’t drunk though, which was a very good sign.
silently, he disposed of his jacket and laid down beside you, resting his hands behind his head. for a split second, you got a glimpse of the damn rock imbeedded in your memory for all time, and how sanji used to make up stories about the stars.
since then, you’d come to know their true stories. you knew every constellation by name, having memorized them upon the baratie and spoken to them every lonely night. the stars had been your friends in your youth, and though your conversations with them were few and far between now, they always shined for you. so as far as you knew, you were never alone.
sanji raised an arm and pointed in a random direction. “bet you can’t name that one.”
a grin worked its way up your face. “how much?”
he turned his head, eyes boring into you. “if you can’t, you tell me what’s on your mind.”
“that’s hardly fair.”
“take it or leave it.”
you huffed, but complied, glaring up at the sky. “cassiopeia. cursed to remain in the stars for claiming her daughter was more beautiful than the nerieds.” you kissed your teeth. “hardly a punishment. i’d love to be in the stars.”
there was a weight behind your words; a truth so deep you had to take a long breath to recover. wetting your lips, you asked your brother, “do you think, someday, i could study them?”
“why someday?”
“well, you need supplies. tools. there’s only so much our eyes can tell from down here.”
“tools,” he murmured. “so, you want to study the stars?”
the words flooded from your lips. “i want to know everything about them. i want to know why they shine, how far they are, what’s beyond them… can we get there?” you sighed into a smile. “there are some cities that have observatories dedicated to astronomy, but you’ve got to be some kind of noble scholar to get in.”
sanji listened, and he listened well. He laid by your side and listened to you tell him about the stars till nami and zoro came lugging a drunk usopp between them, luffy taking the lead. he remained in thought for most of the night, and sought out nami to ask about expenditures, and then set out to find luffy.
it was safe to say you weren’t quite as upset at sanji and luffy for disappearing all evening when they returned at sunset, some beri short, with a gift in hand.
you stood slack jawed as they revealed a beautiful telescope, the metal polished and bright and shining. how they had managed to sneak it past you and set it up on the afterdeck was beyond you, but you hardly cared to ask.
you threw your arms around your brother, whispering your thank yous, and quickly turned to tackle your captain in a hug just as tight. the night to follow was marked by your awed sighs and the excited way you told the crew about ursa major and ursa minor, then about castor and pollux, and so on till you could barely keep your eyes open.
and sanji would never say it out loud, but he admired you. you turned out pretty damn good despite having him as your big brother. someday, you’d reach the stars. he knew that for certain. he could only hope you’d come visit once or twice.
“g’night,” he muttered to the crew as he stood, making his way over to where you’d drifted off against a barrel. he scooped you up in his arms and was veyr careful to not wake you as he made his way to your and nami’s quarters.
sanji rested you down and moved to take off your boots and pull the blanket over you, and he found himself frozen all of a sudden. lips pursed, he patted your hair, and turned to go. at the door, he paused and looked back. you slept so soundly for once, something he was so very glad for. he wasn’t blind to how you’d been overworking yourself.
perhaps he would talk to you about that in the morning, but for now, he simply smiled. “good night, sister. love you.”
and whispered back to him, just in time for him to hear: “g’night, sanj. i love you.”
#sanji#vinsmoke sanji#sanji x sister!reader#sanji x reader#zoro x reader#luffy x reader#nami x reader#usopp x reader#one piece live action x reader#one piece#one piece live action#opla#opla sanji#opla x reader#x sister reader#x sister!reader#x platonic!reader#x reader#reader insert#female reader#sanji's sister saga
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❛ Talk to me, baby. I'm goin' blind from this sweet, sweet craving, whoa-oh. Let's lose our minds and go fucking crazy. I-I-I-I-I-I keep on hoping we'll eat cake by the ocean. ❜
★ pairings: choso kamo x f!reader
★ synopsis: you and choso find a way to beat the heat.
★ c.w.: sexual tension, PWP, porn without plot, happy ending! au?, idk everyone's happy lol, unprotected sex, loss of virginity, cowgirl in the backseat, creampie, blowjobs, choso has mommy issues lowkey, and the reader caters to them lowkey. dom/sub undertones, choso doesnt know how to deal with his horniness lol, old fashioned, nasty ass sex, just read it you'll love it.
★ a/n: hi baby girls!! I have been holding onto this one for a MINUTE bc I wanted to make sure it's perfect. im doin a lil bit of a kinktober, so send those requests in! I hope u all love it as much as I do. bitchz w mommy issues wya???🗣️🗣️
★ w.c.; 8.6k
masterlist
CHOSO LOVED THE BEACH. Not for the reason one might normally proclaim such affection for an otherwise family-friendly pastime, but it was a valid reason nevertheless. He used to hate it, actually, especially when Getou and Mahito would drag him out there on the hottest day of the summer for their stupid villain conventions. He was quite comfortable at home in all of his layers. But there was something about the beach these days, something that had him reconsidering his bias.
Call him classless, call him perverted. Whatever it was, there was this strange pull towards the beach that had him in a chokehold. He just couldn’t quite place it.
“You’re staring,” Megumi remarked.
Choso’s brow quirked. Letting his head loll to the side, teetering just off the edge of his beach chair, he offered the following words to his brother’s friend. “No, I wasn’t.”
He totally was. The way his sun glasses slid down the bridge of his nose as you walked past the two was a dead giveaway. But, shit, you looked too good to be true. You were this pretty little thing, strutting around in a pretty pink bikini, soaking in the rays of sunlight, and you were bringing a drink to your friend, Maki. Looked like a lemonade. Also looked like booze. It could have been anything, in all honesty, he wasn’t looking there.
If there was a god out there, he hoped they would forgive him for his ravenous gaze. He had always had a little thing for you, if you will, but the moment you had walked onto the beach today he found himself completely enamored by you.
As you bent down to set the drink in the sand, the bottom of your small pink bikini slipped inward, revealing the smooth, sand-dusted skin of your plump little butt. Then you plopped down on the beach towel next to your friend and popped open the bottle of sunscreen.
Choso watched – rather shamelessly – as you sprayed some of it onto you arm, rubbing it in. You held the canister towards your chest at arms length and released some more of the sheer spray onto the skin there. It trickled down, catching the light of the sun, dripping down between your breasts–
A pair of hairy, pale legs obstructed the view.
“Found a sand dollar,” Spoke none other than the world’s quirkiest little brother, Yuuji Itadori. In a rather fitting slow-pan up to his face, Choso took note of the dorky goggles that he had popped over his eyes. He was shirtless. You would think that the man would have learned that you don’t need to go deep sea diving at the beach by now. “You guys coming?”
Megumi took the words right out of Choso’s mouth. Or, actually, ‘word’ might be more fitting.
“No.”
“I’ll pass,” Choso sighed, repositioning his sunglasses over his eyes. Silently, of course, he cursed his brother for putting on such a show in front of – what was he talking about? Choso Kamo… letting his desires cloud his love for his brother? He usually wasn’t this bad. “I thought I threw those out on you?”
“I bought new ones,” Yuuji muttered. He practically tore the goggles from his face, sending locks of pink hair standing up in the air. Tossing them to the side, he plopped between Megumi and Choso on the picnic blanket.
“Of course you did,” Megumi, who had, for a brief – but beautiful – moment been alluded into believing his friend had decided to keep his remarkable lack of social awareness to himself, reached into the cooler they had filled earlier that day and produced a much needed refreshment.
“Hi!”
Choso, Yuuji and Megumi all turned their heads toward the sound.
It was you. His ‘crush’, as Yuuji had embarrassingly called it. And, shit, you looked even prettier up close. Your hair looked so soft. So did your–
He shook the thoughts away.
“Sorry to bother ‘ya,” You lowered your head apologetically. You extended your arm out towards the three men. Clutched in your small hand was the bottle of sunscreen you had been using before Yuuji had caught Choso’s attention. “My friend is out cold. Could you just get my back for me?”
Choso felt his face grow red at the mere prospect of being so close to you. He had never had the courage to actually reach out and touch you. He felt as if, for some odd reason he didn’t quite understand, his touch would have killed you. You had always been so sweet to him, offering him small talk, refreshments, and friendly jokes when it was just the two of you away from the group.
“Not a problem, Sensei,” Yuuji replied rather quickly.
He reached for the bottle. Before he could grab it, Megumi jabbed his elbow harshly into the back of Yuuji’s neck.
“Bitch, ow,” He hissed.
The glare Megumi shot him could have been heard from ten miles away. Choso sighed, refraining from shaking his head.
“I think he’s sick. I’ll bring him to the infirmary,” Megumi added quietly, standing up rather abruptly and taking Yuuji with him.
Yuuji babbled mindlessly the whole way back.
Highschoolers.
Choso looked back to you. Just you. Alone. He felt his hands get all clammy again. He blamed it on the sun. You were holding the bottle expectantly.
“Uh… I can… I can help, if you’re okay with that,” He looked away, internally kicking himself for fumbling so hard.
You only tilted your head at him. Your eyes were so pretty, wide open as they lingered over his body, his eyes, his nose. Your gaze was a wildfire spreading over the expanse of his face.
It was then that he realized he was very, very shirtless.
“‘Kay, thanks,” you smiled softly.
As you laid down on the beach blanket, Choso felt his heart race even faster. He could hardly believe this was all happening – hell, part of him wondered if he had overstepped by offering his services to you. The sun beat down on your skin, his head, the sand – he blamed the warmth flooding his face on the weather.
You were laid on your stomach only a few inches away, completely oblivious to his moral dilemma.
He took a deep breath, attempting to calm himself while he reached for the bottle of sunscreen you had set onto the blanket beside you. With hands that trembled ever-so-slightly, he uncapped the bottle and squeezed a small amount onto his palm. The sunscreen was cool to the touch – so, not wanting to cause you even the slightest bit of discomfort, he warmed it up between his hands.
He then hesitantly placed his hands on the smooth valley of your upper back.
You gasped, twitching beneath his palms.
“Did I hurt you?” He asked quickly, withdrawing his hands.
“No, sorry,” You sighed, shifting on the blanket and then relaxing once more. “Your hands are cold ‘s all.”
Choso felt the blush coming on all over again. He hoped you wouldn’t turn your head back around and see him like this. “I’m sorry,” he murmured, averting his gaze.
“You’re all good, hot stuff,” You offered. “You can keep going.”
His face burned like hell at your compliment. He knew you were that way with everyone, dropping little ‘babe’s and ‘honey’s to your friends and fellow sorcerers. He wasn’t anything special, anyway. Surely, you weren’t talking to him.
He replaced his hands on your back, touch delicate like your skin would crack if he pressed too hard. He started with broad strokes, making sure to spread the sunscreen across your skin evenly. His fingers splayed out over your warm, soft skin, moving in circles. He massaged the sunscreen into your back with a tenderness that surprised even himself.
He wasn’t sure what this stuff actually did. He had seen some of Yuuji’s Jujutsu friends slather some on earlier. Judging by the name, he assumed it protected them from the sun. From what, though? Could the sun hurt some humans? He didn’t really understand.
“You’re wondering something,” You asked, seemingly sensing his pensiveness by the way his hands slowed. “Ask away.”
Choso bit the skin on the inside of his lip, “This lotion…” he asked, “What does it do?”
“Sunscreen?” You hummed. “It forms a layer over your skin so you don’t get sunburnt.”
“Sunburnt…” He reiterated.
“Yeah, that shit hurts,” You added. “I’m guessing Itadori never gave you the run-up on beach necessities…?”
“I guess not,” He remarked quietly.
“I can show you how to apply yours if you want,” You said.
Choso’s heart felt like it would burst. “Okay,” he said, pausing slightly. “I’d like that, thanks.”
Then he was back to his job. His hands smoothed over your back, dipping down a little lower until his thumb brushed against the strap of your bikini. He felt suddenly aware of how soft and warm you felt beneath his touch.
He was dangerously close to the knot in the string that held your whole getup together. He worried for a moment that the dainty bow would come undone – by some strange, supernatural turn of events – despite him making a great effort to move around it.
Choso’s breath hitched when his finger caught on the string, making the knot snap against your skin. He froze up, heart pounding in his chest, perfectly still over your body. The string felt like a fragile barrier between your warm skin and his cold touch, between your body and the thoughts that raced through his mind.
He wondered if you found him weird and off-putting. His gaze flickered up to your face, leaning over slightly, searching your face for any sign of discomfort.
But when he looked into your eyes, he found you were looking at him with the same curiosity. You smiled at him, pretty lips forming a reassuring expression, wordlessly encouraging him to keep going.
Slowly, unsurely, Choso continued his ministrations. He trailed two digits down your spine, stopping at the string. He felt a knot beneath the skin there. He knew sorcerers put themselves through rigorous training. He didn’t doubt that you were feeling sore from the mission you had just come back from a few days ago.
“You’re tense here,” He said quietly.
You turned your head to look at him, “Yeah?”
“Right here,” He pinpointed the exact area with his knuckles, pressing deep into the tissue.
In response, you moaned quietly, back shifting beneath his touch. His shorts seemed to get just a little bit tighter.
Calm down.
“You got magic hands, Choso,” You quipped, though your voice was strained as he passed over the knot a second time. “You could be a masseuse.”
He felt his nerves subside only slightly, though he felt flustered by your words.
You got magic hands.
You could be a masseuse.
Unbeknownst to him, the sensation of his touch created a pleasant tingling beneath your skin. You closed your eyes, letting him take the reins.
Choso continued to work his fingers over your back, feeling the tension slowly melt away beneath his touch. He had used up the last of the sunscreen to cover your lower back, the skin just above your bottom, and he realized his job was done.
“I think that should do it,” He said softly, voice tinged with reluctance as he removed his hands from your back.
You sat up, stretching, turning towards him, eyes sparkling, “Thanks, Cho, you’re a lifesaver.”
You’re a lifesaver.
A shy smile tugged at his lips, “Of course.”
Then, to his surprise, you asked. “You’re sweet. Mind if I sit with you?”
Choso felt his heart skip more than one beat. His eyes widened. He looked at the sand, the shoreline, anything but you. “Sure,” he said.
Smooth, dumbass.
You grinned and pushed yourself up, saying, “I’ll be right back.”
Choso took a moment to collect his thoughts as you left. He was getting ahead of himself. Way ahead of himself. Stll, you had chosen to spend more time with him. You wanted to sit with him.
Conveniently, only a brief moment after you had stepped away, Megumi returned with Yuuji in tow. Choso quirked a brow at the speed of their return.
“That was quick,” he remarked.
Megumi shrugged, “Took him to get ice cream on the boardwalk instead.”
“You get her number?” Yuuji asked.
“I was doing her a favor,” Choso’s calm facade broke. With wide eyes, he hissed, “Pervert.”
“Dumbass,” Yuuji sucked his teeth.. “Look, tonight’s the night to make a move. When else would you find yourself alone with her like this?”
And before Choso could respond, you came back, holding a speaker in one hand. “I brought snacks!” You smiled.
Some time around sundown, sometime after Getou had summoned up one of his low-grade curses to start a fire, the beach day transformed itself into a fireside chat. It was a picturesque scene. The sky was a canvas of blue, with hues of pink and orange painted over the horizon. It was mostly empty there, now. The waves lapped calmly at the shore, a quiet noise that seemed to accompany the quiet chatter of friends gathered around a fire.
There was laughter, groups of people indulged in conversations. Everyone seemed so calm, so happy, it almost seemed to good to be true.
Megumi and Itadori were caught in a cock-off with Maki. Nobara stargazing on her and Maki’s beach blanket. Gojo and Getou were talking in his direction, but not necessarily at him.
“I just think you have an unfair drinking advantage because you’re a man,” You were saying just off to Choso’s side.
The mood was light. Everyone seemed to be content.
Choso, however, couldn’t seem to tear his eyes away from you. The warm, fading sunlight seemed to caress your features from the side, highlighting your pretty smile and making your eyes shimmer. He found himself completely and utterly enamored by you.
You and Getou had cracked open a bottle of Tequila about an hour ago. Getou’s boyfriend long-term-long-distance-low-commitment-casual-boyfriend, Satoru Gojo was red in the face, slouched against the bare chest revealed by Getou’s unbuttoned floral shirt.
“Whatever helps you sleep at night,” Gojo chuckled, letting Getou top off his fourth shot of the night.
Getou denied any relationship with Gojo. Their eyes betrayed them, though. The connection was evident in the loving glances they exchanged.
You had a faint flush of your own, though you had only taken two shots so far.
He tried two of his own, only because you didn’t want to do them alone. He had never been big on drinking. He just didn’t want to seem like a pussy.
“Why don’t you pour me one so we can test that theory?” Nobara nudged you in the side.
Choso watched the scene unfold with mild interest.
“Because you’re a minor,” You said.
Nobara pouted, leaning back onto her blanket. “Not like I’ve never drank before.”
Maki chimed in over her shoulder, “Got vomit stains on my carpet to prove it.”
“Shut up,” She bit back.
You handled the situation effortlessly. “I don’t condone teen drinking,” You began, your voice softening as you continued, “But. I know the four you will probably go hit up one of those beachside bars tonight with your fake IDs anyway.”
“Fake IDs?” Gojo looked at Megumi out of the corner of his eye. Megumi did not look back.
You clapped. Choso’s ears perked up at the sound.
“That being said!” You raised your voice a bit. “I would rather you drink something less potent. Under adult supervision.”
You turned to Getou and Gojo, who exchanged knowing glances before nodding their approval. Choso couldn’t help but be impressed.
“So who wants a Malibu rum spritzer?” You clasped your hands together.
Excitement rippled through the group, and all of the kids, yes all of the kids, Including Yuuji, eagerly raised their hands.
Choso shot his brother a disapproving glare, one that dissipated the moment you leaned in, laying your head on his shoulder. Your voice, soft and smooth like your skin, enticed him as you sing-songed, “Let the kid live a little.”
It was rather remarkable, actually, how quickly his defenses melted at your gentle persuasion. He sighed in resignation. “Alright.”
You grinned up at him, effortlessly stealing his breath away.
“Great,” you said, getting up from your spot without another word. “I’ll go get them from my car. Don’t wait up for me, I walk real slow.”
Turning your attention back to Choso, you looked at him with a warmth behind your gaze he couldn’t quite place. “Choso, sweetie, could you help me carry the cooler?”
His heart soared at your request – at the prospect of you wanting his assistance. He got to his feet quickly, eager to help.
The sand felt cool beneath his feet as he followed your lead.
The moon hung low in the sky as you and Choso strolled through the parking lot, searching for your jeep. The temperature had dropped quite a few notches from earlier, cold breeze rustling through Choso’s hair.
When you spotted your ride, you said, “There it is!”
Choso followed wordlessly behind you. He was still quite nervous that – for the second time today – it was just you and him… alone. Yuuji’s words echoed through his mind.
“When else would you find yourself alone with her like this?”
You popped the door to the backseat open, sitting on the floor – your truck was raised a bit off the ground, so it didn’t put you too far below him.
“My legs are so fucking sore,” You sighed. You dusted your leg off with the backside of your bare foot. When you peered up at him through those long, dense lashes of yours, he felt himself fall for you a second time.
You asked him, “Mind if we take a little break?”
Choso nodded along like the dumb little dog he was for you.
You pushed yourself up and away from the truck, gesturing for him to get inside. It didn’t take much at all for him to step into it and take a seat. You settled in right next to him – perhaps a little closer to Choso than was strictly necessary. He couldn’nt help the pleasant shiver that went down his spine at the feeling of you sitting next to him; so warm, so soft, so perfect.
You let out a contented sigh and leaned your head on his shoulder once more. “I got tired of bein’ social,” You confessed.
He tried hard not to quirk a brow at the admission. Am I an exception?
“Do you want me to leave you alone?” He asked sincerely. He tried even harder to ignore the warm weight of your small head on his shoulder.
So close.
“No,” You hummed quietly. The interior light faded away, gently submerging the two of you in darkness. He could still see your face, your eyes – the way they seemed to sparkle as they looked up at him. “You’re different.”
Choso’s heart took the liberty of skipping one, two, three beats.
You continued without allowing him time to come up with an adequate response. “Can I be honest with you, Choso?”
His cheeks flushed. Still, curiosity piqued, he muttered, “Of course.”
Your voice was soft and vulnerable when you replied, “I think you’re really hot.”
If his face wasn’t hot, it sure was now. He turned away even though he knew you couldn’t see him blushing.
She thinks I’m hot?
Does that mean she likes me?
You had nothing but sincerity in your eyes while you gazed up at him. “You feel the same way, don’t you?”
He bit his tongue, answering honestly, “I do.”
He hated how calm and collected he sounded. On the outside, he was the image of composure. On the inside, he was dying a hundred times over.
You grinned at his admission. “Can I ask you something else, then?”
His lips suddenly felt very dry. He tried his best to focus on the street outside, counting landmarks and objects like his life depended on it – two seagulls, five wooden posts, two dim street lights.
“Sure,” he said.
“Can I kiss you?” You asked. “I’ve been thinking about it all day.”
And, dammit, when you asked him like that – he could practically feel the last of his resolve crumble beneath your gaze, beneath the weight of your head on his shoulder, beneath your gentle touch on his knee that he hadn’t noticed until now.
You were so close. So close that if he turned his head, angled it down just slightly, your noses would touch. He felt your breath, warm and steady against his neck – a calming symphony that contrasted the trembling mess he had become,
Yuuji’s words played on repeat again. Tonight’s the night to make a move.
He was such a fool for you. Still, he considered himself to be a man of restraint.
His voice was small and scarce, hardly above a whisper when he breathed out, “Yeah.”
Time seemed to slow down as your request hung out in the air. He could feel the anticipation building, buzzing. His heart pounded against his ribcage like a mallet to a gong. He had spent months wondering what would happen if you – by some odd, small chance – returned his affections, and now, with your vulnerability laid bare, he couldn’t resist any longer.
He considered himself to be a man of restraint, that was, until he peered into your wide, longingful eyes.
With a barely noticeable nod, Choso turned his head just slightly, his eyes locking onto yours. Just as he had anticipated, your noses brushed together – he could feel the warmth of your breath on his lips.
You were magnetic.
And in that final, heart-pounding moment, your lips met in the middle – in a gentle, tender union. Choso’s hand seemed to find its own way to your cheek, touch soft as he cupped your cheek. He felt for some odd reason that you might vanish altogether if he let you go.
He wasn’t entirely sure if it had been you or him who deepened the kiss. Either way, he felt himself melt into the seat. The world outside seemed to fade away, ceasing to exist in your presence. None of it mattered – not the empty, public street, not the group of friends waiting on the beach for his return.
Yuuji.
Choso pulled away with a shuddering gasp, pressing his forehead against yours. He licked his lips, panting, “The drinks… We– we should probably– uh… get those.”
He feared that if his heart beat any faster he would explode.
You made no effort to put any distance between you and him. In fact, you put your hands on his shoulders, moving yourself so that you were situated comfortably in his lap.
“There’s no rush,” You hummed. “Getou and Gojo are probably off sucking face somewhere, and those kids have been keeping themselves entertained just fine. Who would notice?”
His eyes were everywhere but your face. For a half-curse, he found himself to be no better than a man, hungry eyes wandering over your body – your eyes, your lips, the subtle curve of your waist, the fabric of your bikini that seemed like it was hugging you just right.
You seemed to have caught him in the act.
“Do you wanna touch me, Choso?” You asked, and it sounded like an invitation.
Still, he worried he was reading too deeply into things. Doing his best to refrain from making you feel any sort of discomfort, he swallowed, “I…”
He was about to fucking explode – both metaphorically and physically, judging by the way his shorts began to tighten again at your words.
“You think I didn’t see you staring today?” You continued, letting your fingers slip into his hair.
He wanted to freeze up, wanted to feel some form of remorse, but when you were massaging his scalp so gently, so lovingly…
“I’m sorry,” he lied.
“Don’t be,” You giggled, and he felt his stomach do a fucking flip at the sound of it. You leaned in close to him, close to his ear, and whispered into it, “I was staring, too.”
He felt like such a virgin, thighs tensing up at your admission. He thought of you on the beach again – sneaking sideways glances at him, at his body, at him…
He felt his resolve break when you pressed a soft kiss to the shell of his ear.
“Kiss– Kiss me again,” he breathed, feeling slightly lightheaded from all of the attention you were giving him. You placed another kiss to the corner of his jaw. “Please… kiss me again.”
You pulled away, pressing your nose right up against his again. Your breaths were shallow and ragged now – strange. “You want me, baby boy?”
Baby boy. Baby boy, fuck.
He licked his lips, “Please.”
And then your lips were on his without so much as another word. You ate him up like a starved woman, teeth nipping at his lower lip for entry.
The last of his restraint flew out the window.
The kiss was electrifying, sent sparks shooting through his veins, fingertips tingling as they found their way to your hips. It was a wildfire, consuming everything in its path. He could taste you – the sweetness of your lipgloss as it smeared messily over the lower half of his face, the beat of your heart thrumming beneath his touch, the scent of sunscreen that lingered on your skin.
He found himself getting lost in the moment.
He deepened the kiss further, gripping your hips, your lower back with a bit more confidence. For a moment, he could forget about his responsibilities, his past. It didn’t matter; not now, not when he could feel your body pressed up against him, hot and soft and compliant.
His face burned when he felt that familiar tingling feeling – he knew he was getting hard beneath you, he could feel the way your hips lifted when you adjusted yourself over the tent in his shorts.
However, to his surprise, you didn’t pull away. Instead, you pressed into him, wrapping your arms around his neck and bringing yourself even closer. He felt dizzy, sliding his tongue across your wet lips, exploring your mouth. You tangled your fingers in his touseled black locks, rolling your hips against his slowly, hesitantly, like you were testing the waters.
The jolt of electricity he felt from that small movement had him pulling away. Even in the midst of the fervor, Choso was acutely aware of his own impulses. He feared he was getting too far ahead of himself; if you kept rubbing yourself against him like that, he was gonna cream his fucking pants like a middle schooler.
“Wait, wait– ah–” He grunted, leaning back against the seat.
“Hmm?” You hummed – still, you only slowed down a little bit.
His mouth hung open. It felt so good, the friction, the feeling of your warmth rolling up and down the thin layer of fabric separating the two of you. Fuck — why did he tell you to stop, again?
He fought hard to regain his composure. “I– I’ve never done this before,” he stammered.
“Really?” You asked, teasingly, almost, like you knew the effect you had on him. You rutted up against him again, a little harder. “You’re a natural.”
He could feel you – the thin cloth covering your nether regions left little to the imagination. You felt so warm, so welcoming. He ached to pull the thin fabric to the side and sink into you.
Fuck. Stop. He turned his head away, at war with his impulses.
Again, for a half-curse, he felt like nothing more than a man. A weak man, and it was all your fault.
The whine that left his mouth felt anything but natural. “Won’t– What if someone sees us?”
You said nothing. When he looked back at you, you were undoing the knot behind your head – the one holding your bikini together.
His eyes went wide. If his attraction to you were any more obvious, his jaw would have been on the floor.
“Let them watch,” You grinned. Then you let your top fall over, breasts spilling out like something out of a porno.
He was in awe. You were perfect. There were little bits of sand stuck to the skin where your bikini lay only seconds prior, faint tanlines already forming over your skin. He felt his mouth water.
“You can touch them, if you want,” You answered his unasked question.
And he wasted no time, gently cupping one of your tits with his large, warm palm. He gave it an experimental squeeze. Then another. Then his thumb wandered down to your nipple, giving the bud a gentle flick.
You whind, hand sliding up the back of his head.
She likes that, he noted.
So, deciding to take his experiment a step further – and for the sake of conserving time, he began peppering kisses to your hot skin, to the valley between your soft, plush mounds. He held both in his hands, rolling his thumb over the hardened buds to compensate for the lack of attention.
He wanted nothing more than to take his sweet, precious time with you – committing every curve and valley of your body to memory. But, alas, he knew you were on a time crunch. Any minute now, someone could find the two of you here, like this.
He kissed his way back over to his hands. Then, finally, he wrapped his lips around that place he knew made you feel good.
Sure enough, you arched into him, pink, swollen lips parting to release a pant of his name, “Choso, baby.”
He flattened his tongue over the tip of your nipple, rolling over it in slow circles – then quicker ones, until he felt the spit gathering between his lips and your skin. You responded in kind by rutting against him a little faster. He had never felt a burn quite so delightful in his life.
He can’t quite help himself from letting out a little whine when you tug on his hair. The flavor of sunscreen and salt lingered on your skin. He felt hot– you were hot, oh so hot.
Before he could return the favor on the other nipple, you pushed him away. You looked disheveled, pupils blown wide, hair frizzed up.
“Y’feel so big,” You gasped, still humping his hard cock like a dog in heat. You stopped, but only to sink into the space between his legs and the back of the driver’s seat. Splaying your fingers over his thighs, his shorts, you panted, “Wanna taste. Can I?”
He could only blink up at you. This isn’t real.
“Of course, baby,” He replied, throwing the nickname from earlier back at you, already reaching for the strings of his swim trunks when you batted his hands away. Your enthusiasm made his head spin.
He let you take the reigns – watching with hungry, lustful eyes as you undid the bow yourself. You reached for the waistband of his shorts, tugging them down and letting his dick spring free.
It nearly hit you in the face, how big the thing was. He had never actually thought about it that way, at least, not until now, when you were gazing up at it with wide eyes and wet, parted lips.
Your eyes were on his tip, glistening with a bead of precum, then wandering down the shaft as the two of you watched it drip.
“Are you sure about this?” He asked.
You didn’t bother pulling his pants the rest of the way down, or even acknowledging his comment. No, the moment the waistband was out of the way, you were swallowing him whole.
Choso exhaled sharply, nearly doubling over at the sensation of your warm mouth closing in around him. He felt the muscles in his abdomen tense with the strain of it – he thought he could cum like this, with your lips stretched around him, and he didn’t really think he would mind testing that theory.
His skin was hot. He burned for you.
You pulled up. Sucking him back into your mouth, you hollowed your cheeks. Then you throated him again, right up until your nose brushed his navel. He felt himself throb in your mouth.
“Fuck, ‘s good,” He heard himself whimper weakly, tangling a trembling hand in your hair while you picked up the pace.
And you went at it like you were made for it. Up and down, up and down, fitting him all the way in until the head of his cock bumped the back of your throat. Over and over again, until his vision blurred a bit at the edges, mind a little hazy with lust.
You were sucking and slurping on him so lewdly – fuck, he could die like this.
You didn’t show any signs of stopping, either.
He moaned – much to his embarrassment – actually moaned. You were working him rather quickly up to what he knew would be an earth shattering (albeit poorly timed) orgasm.
You made a noise in response, though it was broken up by the nasty, dirty sound you made every time you gagged on his dick. You peered up at him through half-lidded eyes, through long, wispy lashes, leaving a trail of saliva running down his thighs that he didn’t even mind.
Choso caressed the side of your face, biting his lip. “Mmh,” he panted, “You do it so well.”
In response, you put a hand over his. You directed his gentle touch to the top of your head, instructing him to push down. Hesitantly, gently, he began to guide your head, bobbing you back and forth on his length while you sat back and let him use you.
He noticed that you were struggling to fit the whole thing in your mouth. He saw that there were tears pricking at the corners of your eyes, but he knew you were determined. He used his thumb to wipe your tears away, tucking your hair behind your ears to keep it out of your face.
With a shudder and a whine, he pushed your head down a little further. You gagged on it again, swallowing him down, tightening your throat around him like you were made to suck dick.
If this was to be his last night alive, he would die a happy man.
His legs felt weak, as did his arms. You took over, gently assisting him in fucking your mouth.
“Ah– nnh, you’re–” He licked his lips, guiding your head while allowing you to continue setting your own pace. You were making him feel so good, so hot.
You pulled back for a moment to slurp unceremoniously on his tip, letting spit drip down his shaft. You wrapped your hands around him, working what you couldn’t fit into your mouth while your tongue did tricks on his tip – circles, shapes, letters, he didn’t even know anymore.
He felt like he was going dumb.
Just as he leaned his head back into the seat, you pulled off, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand.
“Got carried away,” You giggled breathlessly. “Sorry.”
Then you were climbing right back into his lap, bracing your hands on his shoulders, kissing him with a ravenous hunger.
“I’m not gonna blue ball you, don’t worry,” You licked your lips. Reaching down, you slipped the fabric of your bikini thong to the side. “I want you.”
“H–...” He trailed off, fighting to catch his breath – better yet, to regain his surroundings. “How do you want me?”
In that moment, he wanted nothing more than to feel you sink down onto him, to feel your warmth envelop him entirely. He wanted you to ride him past the point of hypersensitivity. He wanted you to use him until you were satisfied – like some sort of fuck toy.
He didn’t care anymore. He had left his inhibitions at the door.
“Wanna fuck you right here, like this,” You muttered against his lips, licking a stripe from his chin all the way to his cupid’s bow. You guided the head of his dick between your folds, smearing your slick all over him in a way that made him arch up. “Wanna drain that pretty cock of yours, wanna cum all over it– can you do that for me?”
You were so nasty… so dirty that he found himself a red, blushing mess at your words. But, still…
For you?
Anything.
“Yes,” he groaned. He felt like he was going to melt if he waited another moment longer. “Fuck, please, use me until you’re satisfied.”
He hadn’t even thought about saying it. It had slipped out.
You paused, blinking down at him with wide, lustful eyes. Finally, you said, “you’re such a good puppy, you know that?”
He would be whatever the hell you wanted him to be.
“G’nna let me ride you, pretty boy?” You cooed, sliding your hands up his torso, up his bare chest, up his shoulders while you hovered over him.
This was moving quickly. Not like he had any objections to that, of course. Clearly, you didn’t either. As you positioned the tip in line with your dripping cunt, sinking down onto him, he felt his eyes roll back into his head.
He gasped, letting his eyelids fall shut. He didn’t even care that he was losing his virginity in the backseat of his coworker’s truck like some cheap whore. He would let you take it, take more, take everything you wanted from him.
You lifted your hips and then sank down on him again, eliciting a strangled grunt of your name from him. The filthy squelching sound your cunt made as it squeezed him in threw him for a loop.
He leaned forward, shivering, burning his head in your neck. “S’too tight,” he panted, though he let you continue working on him with a remarkable amount of ease – sliding back and forth in a way that had the both of you panting for more. “Fucking– shit, ah–”
“Chosooo– ‘S so big,” You moaned his name like it was made of honey, fucking yourself down onto his dick, letting all of the sinful noises flow from your lips. “Fuck, feel it in my guts.”
He would have thought you were lying to him if it weren’t for your spectacle earlier.
“You’re fucking perfect,” he breathed. When he looked up at you again, he couldn’t tear his eyes away. You were the image of pornographic beauty – sinful, beautiful, sultry. Your brows were scrunched together with concentration, legs trembling around him as you slowed down to savor the way he worked you open.
“Pretty baby,” He mused, running his hands over your stomach, your hips. “You keep goin’ like that ‘n– fuck– I won’t– Last long.”
“Mmh,” you giggled.
Then you picked up the speed a bit, like you hadn’t even heard what he had just said. You were rising and sinking on his dick with newfound purpose, chasing after the promise of paradise like a wild animal.
“Look at me,” he begged, eyes half-lidded and desperate, tongue running across his lower lip. “Fu-uck– please, ‘M...”
You obeyed, meeting his gaze with such a fiery passion that he almost wished he hadn’t asked you – feeling that coil in his gut grow a little tighter when your hazy eyes were on him. You bounced obediently on his cock, up and down, up and down until you were a grunting, groaning mess.
“Mm… fuckkk,” You sighed, hips faltering a bit. “Feels good, Choso.”
Choso felt his hips twitch beneath you, hands tensing on your backside. Then, slowly, he began to meet your thrusts midway. His ass lifted off of the seat, legs spreading a bit further apart while he used his strength to continue fucking you senseless.
He was mesmerized by you, by the way you clenched and squeezed him, by the way your mouth lolled open to make way for broken cries of his name, by the way your tits bounced in his face whenever he thrusted up into you.
He worried for a moment that he was being too harsh with you.
“Harder– please!” You gasped, clawing at his shoulders, at his chest.
Still, he obeyed. He fucked you dumb, hips snapping up against your ass with such strength that the whole car lurched forward. Your head came dangerously close to the ceiling.
But he didn’t have the guts to stop. Not when you were screaming for him, repeating his name like some sort of mantra. He was as weak for you as he had always been.
“Choso– Choso–”
The feeling of your warm, wet walls massaging the head of his cock had him whimpering into the crook of your neck. It was a hot, gummy abyss he wouldn’t mind getting sucked into for the remainder of his life.
“You like that?” He asked you, spare hand sliding up from your hips, past your breasts, to your neck.
He knew now that you liked it rough. He could provide that.
So, with no further warning, he gripped your hip roughly, sliding into you at full force. You cried out his name again, fingernails digging into his skin.
The car bounced every time he pounded up into you. Faster, faster.
It felt like you were squeezing him for dear life.
Choso cried out, a broken whine as he slowed his thrusts for a minute to a much slower pace. Feeling your perfect pussy clenching around him, he nearly doubled over from the sudden pleasure. “Please,” he gasped, laying his head back. “Fuck, that’s good.”
You bit your lip, sliding up until it was just the tip left inside of you, and then slamming back down onto him at full force. You repeated this action a few more times, lips parted to make way for the sinful… sultry moans that passed from between them. Clearly, you were relishing in the way he squirmed and gasped beneath you.
He couldn’t blame you. He knew that he, too was doing everything he could to commit this scene to memory, wild eyes raking over your body, over the junction where you met him. The way you were riding him… shit, he didn’t know he would be able to make the walk back.
You looked so obscene like this, all fucked out, dumb on his dick.
Throwing your head back, you groaned.
He was gripping your hips hard enough to bruise. Fuck, he knew that– cursed strength and all. But he couldn’t bring himself to slow down.
“So f-fucking good,” he stammered. He sought out your lips again, snapping his hips up against your ass mercilessly. For someone who had been so concerned about being discovered a little while ago, his quiet grunts and gasps turned into moans and whimpers against your sore lips. Louder and louder.
Admittedly, though, he was more focused on the noises coming out of your own mouth. You were practically screaming for him.
He had no idea that sex could even feel so mind-numbingly good. For him, especially, but for you…?
You froze up rather suddenly, hips spasming wildly, toes curling up on either side of his thighs while you gasped brokenly.
“FUCK!”
There it was.
He felt his face burn. You cried his name again, bouncing up and down on it, wildly chasing after that high. “Choso– m’close–”
“You gonna cum, pretty girl?” He hummed, once again throwing your nickname back at you. He grinned, knowing full and well that he had cracked the code. So he kept that same speed, same pace, same everything while his fingers dropped from your neck to the mess you had made between the two of you.
He knew what to do now – surprisingly enough. He had done some… internet research after his brother had broken the meaning of his feelings down to him (along with what Choso was to do when his crush came to fruition).
What? Curses didn’t make love. Sex was transactional.
He was curious about how sex was on the human side of things.
He ran his tongue over his thumb, reaching between the steamy, sweaty union of your bodies to find your clit. He pressed down, rolling over the nub in quick, expert circles.
One look up at you, and he knew you were close to your breaking point. You looked like you were about to pass out, letting yourself be thrown around on his wild hips like a ragdoll. You were too weak to move, so you sat there and took his dick like a good girl, eyes glazed over with pleasure while he fucked you dumb.
You looked like you were in love.
Choso sped his ministrations over your clit up a little faster, feeling the knot in his own stomach begin to grow faster than he wanted. He was in another world, out of this plane, hypnotized.
All he could see in that moment was your angelic face above him, face scrunched up in pleasure – and partially in pain, as he bullied his cock into your cervix – sweat rolling down your neck, your breasts, your voluptuous body.
“Mine–” You gasped out, clawing at his shoulder blades while your back arched. “Oh– fuck! Th’s dick ‘s mine, mmh?”
It was.
He nodded. But, clearly, that wasn’t good enough. Your hand shot out to grip him by the neck, painted fingernails digging into his throat.
“‘S yours,” He gasped back into your mouth. “All yours, I swear– ah–”
You were so hot. It made him feel things– feel like he was dying over and over again in the best way possible.
That along with the way your hand gripped his throat – using your small thumb to cut off his blood supply for a few seconds too long before loosening your grip, letting him gasp for air as the blood came rushing back – he felt lightheaded.
The way your pussy was spasming around him certainly didn’t do anything to help. He knew you were close, shit, but could you hold on a minute?
You were gonna make him cum too fast.
“You’re mine, yeah?” You asked again, keeping your grip strong on his neck. “All mine?”
“M’yours,” The cursed womb grunted against your neck. His brows were furrowed in concentration. His teeth nipped at the sensitive skin, careful not to leave marks. “All yours.”
He meant it. Even though he would have said anything you asked him to at this point, he really meant it. He hoped you knew that.
Judging by the way you came a moment later with a stutter of your hips and a strangled cry of, “Cho–”, he assumed you understood.
Your cunt was a warm, wet, death trap, walls milking his cock for all it was worth.
Shit, he thought. You really weren’t lying about that.
His dark eyes were burning into yours, burning with a desire so intense he felt he might burst at the seams if he kept looking a moment longer.
“Want you to cum inside of me,” You commanded him, holding his head in your trembling hands. “Fill me up, please, I need it.”
His eyes widened, blinking down at the white ring you had made around the base of his dick. His eyes flitted back up to you, pleading with you to let him go. Pleading for you to give the soul that you stole from him back,
“I can’t–” he released a trembling breath.
He thought of himself as a father raising a child. Right now, it didn’t seem so bad.
“Please, ‘m on the pill,” you begged him, gazing into his eyes like you knew he wasn’t strong enough to refuse. “Wanna feel it dripping out of me. Think about it– what– ah– what would they think? … If they knew–”
You gasped when he delivered a harsh smack to your ass, slowing his strokes so that he could savor the way you sucked him in. “If they knew we snuck off to fuck? That– that I had your cum dripping out of me while they ask what took us so long?”
“Fuckk,” Choso groaned, hips trembling beneath you. His dark hair was plastered to his forehead with sweat, cheeks burning. His breaths – and yours – had fogged the windows up.
You squeezed around him one more time, placing a tender kiss to his lips. You muttered into his mouth, “Do it f’me… please, Choso.”
“Mmh–!” And that was all it took. Choso rolled his hips up into you one more time, twitching, whining, feeling your warmth spasm around him as he spilled into you. He drove as deep up into you as he could – holding onto you for dear life while the coil snap, and he came so hard that his legs gave out. Lots of it.
So much that he felt it drip out.
You sought another kiss from him, sealing your lips together. When you pulled away, you giggled, “Good boy. Good puppy.”
“God,” he shuddered, falling back against the headrest once his orgasm subsided. You fell against his chest, snuggling up to him.
And Choso, not knowing what else to do, pressed a kiss to the top of your head. To his surprise, you didn’t immediately leave him in the dust. Instead, the two of you sat in comfortable silence, basking in the warmth of your post-coital bliss.
You broke the silence after a minute or two.
“So…” You began, trailing a finger up his bare chest. “Help me carry that cooler back to the beach?”
And Choso, breathless, felt himself begin to laugh.
The two of you came back onto the beach. Choso was carting the cooler behind while you walked ahead, waving your friends down.
As you approached, Itadori remarked with crossed arms, “The hell have you guys been?” His hair was done up into two, pink, little pigtails. It was clear as day that Nobara had a hand in his current hairstyle.
“Oh!” You had grinned rather awkwardly, rubbing the back of your neck with your hand. “We– Well, we realized we didn’t have as many spritzers as I thought. Had to make a run to the liquor store.”
Itadori raised a brow. Still, if he noticed something, he didn’t say anything about it. “Uh huh.”
Choso bent down to set the cooler onto the ground, back turned to the group.
Getou peeped up from his paperback novel, lips twitching at the sight of Choso’s back. He nudged his counterpart, Gojo.
Who nearly spat out his drink.
You sat on the beach blanket nearest to Gojo and Getou. The moment your butt hit the sand, you practically collapsed into the ground.
You could feel eyes on you. So, begrudgingly, you rolled over, throwing Satoru a weak glare. “What?”
He only nodded towards Choso.
You turned around, following his gaze. It settled over his back. He bent down, picking a few spritzers out of the ice. It was then that you noticed the harsh red claw marks on his shoulderblades.
Subconsciously, your gaze drifted down to your hips, to the skin where purple imprints of Choso’s fingertips stood out as clear as day.
You gasped, then, clamping a hand over your mouth.
“So,” Gojo began casually, handing you a shot. He leaned in, ocean blue eyes twinkling as he teased you, “Was he gentle? He seems like he would give it rough.”
You turned to his not-boyfriend, brows furrowed. “Suguruuu…”
It was with no great amount of satisfaction that Getou looked up from his novel. “Satoru,” he sighed languidly. “Not in front of ths kids.”
Gojo ignored his not-boyfriend’s remark. “Was it big?”
You sank back into the blanket, feeling the heat of your embarrassment burn your cheeks as your words from earlier came back to bite you in the ass.
Who would notice?
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/5d86a469505c4d6752e922fe8ae22c51/6674c4e26b2f9375-38/s540x810/186895c1de1c8869975cbeb3917f4951f71f2150.jpg)
a/n: hello there my precious little sugarplums! I hope u enjoyed the first installment of my kinktober writings ( which will prob continue throughout the fall bc I started hella late ). send in requests! there's no part two to this, but I would write one if enough ppl requested it. yk the drill though, comment ur thoughts/wishes below! I love reading them. reblogs are alway always always appreciated bc my reach is ass on Tumblr...
I obviously do not own jjk or anything related to it. please do not reproduce, copy, or translate my works anywhere. dont fk w me im a bruja.
credits: cover artist(s) unknown??, dividers: @bpdier, @cafekitsune
taglist: @missphanosaur18 , @bontensbabygirl, @megumissunshine, @chocoyanchan, @littlelovebug98, @lucisimpongod, @xochyw, @jaegerstan222 , @electro-supremacy, @mellytheteddy, @clover0310 , @soraya-daydreams, @priussy, @insanehumantinker, @staygoldsquatchling02, @nonksity, @hinata7346, @chososwhoresblog, @mindurownbussines , @hearts4sid , @simplefools , @ynjimenez
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#notiddygxthgf ˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚#choso kamo#choso kamo x reader#kamo choso#kamo choso x reader#choso#choso jjk#choso x reader#choso fluff#choso smut#choso kamo smut#yuuji itadori#suguru getou#getou suguru#gojo satoru#nobara kugisaki#maki zenin#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x you#jjk x reader
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