#what is wrong with me i feel SO BAD IT'S ALL I EVER SAY LMAO đđ
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In my opinion <- strongly for ME
When it comes to Agatha All Along seems like people lose the plot & content about it as it goes, idk why but
1) Agatha is a Villain- she doesn't need redemption she's aware of herself & acknowledges her doings ( like wanda says " you do it you become the hero , I do it I become the enemy)
Agatha doesn't have to atone to what she's done or will continue to do ,does she feel bad hmm đ¤Ş
So she's a serial killer - most those witches deserved it if you ask me, her salem coven completely did for wanting to put a child on trial because they were scared of her powers
"You don't see it holding me back " & it shouldn't hold her back she's a cunty witch no one forced anyone to follow her in her scheme she's a great con artist 𼾠I'd willing volunteer for you AGATHA HARKNESS đ
Now I'm not saying her grief is an excuse, & that it's ohkay what she's done with her & Nicky's song but isn't a lil evil enjoyableđ don't always have to be good doesn't mean you're always right
Like the ballad where all that's wrong is right & all that's bad is good!
² ) Agatha & Rio's love IS NOT toxic. What makes it toxic that rio gives & Agatha takes? If you think in depth their love is dynamic! Agatha is a person who time & time again is wronged by close & acquainted people of course she'd close herself from hurt when that's everyone's intentions without giving her a chance it's not her fault that people misunderstands & here comes Rio our amazing entity who knows how to show compassion because no ever will this is something Agatha deserves & Rio is literally the best example being that homo sapien feel the same way about death so who's best to understand Agatha than Rio herself & show & give Agatha what no one has? Their love makes sense & is precious because death can be seen to never be loved & here comes Agatha someone that's put off by people whom in their eyes seem like she's not capable of ever loving, yearns to want & give it & is giving it to death the best way she possibly knows how to, so who's to say their love is toxic?
3)Agatha is a Villain! That's what's perfect about her it's what makes her likeable
She is not evil( yes she is đđ¤) , just misunderstood, not given a chance . She can still do & is doing the things even if she was good
] a daughter, a mother, a mentor ! Being a Villain doesn't stop her for being the things she was gifted with as Rio sees her for what she masks with - you just have to look through the disguise as well cause in time you'll see notice & you see if you pay close attention she isn't hiding as one would say you just aren't taking the time to notice because she's good at what she does best DECEPTION!
1 and 3) Yes, I agree! Agatha is a villain and she shouldnât have a redemption arc! She doesnât want to change and she wonât (tbh I prefer her as immoral lmao)
I think redemption arcs are usually very forced, just bc someone regrets their doing it doesnât change what they did. She can have better actions, but being a villain isnât really about what you do in the present, is about the way people view you and sheâll always be a villain in someoneâs perspective, thereâs no way for her to run from that title anymore.
People have the need for their favorite characters to be liked by everyone, have a moral high ground or something like that, but making her greedy and egoistic (in my opinion) gives her a bigger depth than âoh she always does whatâs rightâ. Who the fucks only do whatâs right?
I donât agree that all of the witches she killed deserved, the only ones I know that deserved were her previous coven!
2) Agatha and Rio have a VERY complicated relationship.
Would I say itâs toxic? No, I wouldnât!
Are they toxic people? Yes, they are!
I think they basically match each others freak to the point their toxicity doesnât become toxic lol
And I also think that they have true feelings for each other, they can fight, they can argue, they can hurt, but when it comes to the important stuff they will take things seriously! Just like Rio did when she defended Agatha from her mother.
#apparently im in the mood to give long ass response today#I hope you donât mind#agatha all along#agatha harkness#rio vidal#vidarkness#jubsâ inbox âď¸
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[pericky; a look into ricky's head during their meeting.]
---
"I'm glad you came, I wasn't sure you would." The wine pours, the sound of it drowning out the missing word in that sentence: back.
Of course, is the response, and the part of Ricky that's spent twenty years tearing itself apart to understand why vibrates with relief. It doesn't matter anymore. Of course, of course, he thinks giddily along with the words. He never needed to wonder why Pericles wasn't coming back in the first place; he was always going to.
I'm happy you invited me, and of course he thinks again. A lifetime of pretending he wasn't always going to either falls away. However harsh and lonely the world has been, all's right with it again; and the shy voice of the boy inside him that he's tried so hard to kill says, so quietly, I missed you.
#sdmi#scooby doo: mystery incorporated#pericky#ricky owens#professor pericles#anyway fucking end me actually. lay me down to die#i said i was gonna write more pericky and by fucking god i did#the 'why did you do this to me' to 'oh thank god you didn't actually do this to me' pipeline of abuse folks đĽ˛#which like. their last conversation is yet another devastating example of ricky finally standing up to pericles' bullshit Too Late#ricky denounces him in the strongest terms he knows; based on his own feelings and opinions and the way he sees the world#(which: even then he can't bring himself to say 'i don't love you anymore')#(the closest he can get is 'i chose you and i can't take it back; the only way i can imagine not loving you is if i never had at all')#and pericles tries to go 'nyeh nyeh whatever i don't care' (and does a real bad job of pretending he is not obviously hurt lmao)#and ricky doesn't try to understand his logic; he doesn't try to reconcile a world where pericles didn't *really* mean to do anything wrong#his response is MAYBE YOU *SHOULD* CARE.#pericles' view of the world and what's right and acceptable are warped and *wrong* and he's the one who needs to get his shit together#'you shouldn't have abused me you shouldn't have killed cassidy you shouldn't have murdered a child in cold blood'#that is MASSIVE and i think it is really telling that pericles' response is to shut him down with force instead of trying to argue any more#and that in the end is the real true fucking tragedy of it all#ricky is making huge strides one after the other to take back his freedom from pericles emotionally#....and materially it makes no difference to improve his situation in the moment; because pericles doesn't have any less power to abuse him#he never has a triumphant moment where he Overcomes His Abuser and Breaks Out of His Control#there's nothing he can do to fight back until pericles is too Literally Dead to control him anymore#it is one of the rawest depictions of the reality of abuse i've ever seen and just. God. i love it so much#(at the same time i REALLY want to explore a version of events where he got the chance to expand further on that growth)#(the 'all witches are selfish; make all things yours; i have a duty' speech from the wee free men comes to mind)#whosebaby makes things#whosebaby writes#SDMItag#dyn: when i die i want you to die too
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so in juniper's campaign we've just found ourselves in a high-stakes situation that I as a player do frankly find stressful and am anxious about, but hey hi also the DM was like 'okay here are the exact mechanics of how this is going to work because I don't want to surprise you with serious repercussions, also here are all the options you will have to try to do something about the situation-- [affected player] what do you think? honest feedback, I don't want it to feel unfair, I want to be clear that I am not just trying to kill your character, and if it ends up being badly balanced we can revisit it down the road' and oh my god I could COLLAPSE and WEEP with gratitude
#[tears in my fucking eyes] WHAT IF DND WAS GOOD!! WHAT IF A DM THAT'S GOOD!!!#LIKE I've said actually MOST of my DMs are good but because of the way this situation was presented specifically#where-- as NOT the affected player-- it does feel like the way it came up was a little unfair and I AM worried about the stakes--#I REALLY SPENT SO MUCH OF THAT ABOVE-TABLE TALK GOING OH WOW I FEEL LIKE OUR FRIEND ACTUALLY LOVES US AND WANTS THIS TO BE FUN!!#I DON'T KNOW THAT I AGREE WITH WHAT HE'S DOING HERE BUT I TRUST MY FRIEND AND IT'S SAFE FOR US TO TALK ABOUT THINGS LIKE THIS PLAYER TO DM!!#WOWIE THAT FEELS RELEVANT TO MY DND EXPERIENCE RIGHT NOW LMAO!!!#'I've looked at your stats and inventories to try to make this serious but balanced but if it doesn't work we can retool it'#'I want to be extremely clear that this situation could kill destal so I want to be extremely sure that you're comfortable with that--#-- and with how the mechanics are designed around it'#I am fucking. on my KNEES WEEPING. at the contrast with how punishing and DEEPLY unfun felix campaign has relentlessly been the whole time#and how little of a fuck it feels like THAT DM gives when he's like 'this random rolltable encounter was deadly :)'#'you guys didn't get hit last time and got all your spells back right?' uhhh wrong and wrong and we TALKED about that last time#are you gonna revisit the balance on your fifth in a row 'if you fail you'll TPK' scenario? no? yeah I figured lol#christ knows HE'S never invited feedback on his DMing. you KNOW I don't feel safe to say 'hey this doesn't feel fair or fun' with him#AND LIKE!! WITH A DM I TRUST I FEEL SAFE ENOUGH TO REALLY PLAY WITH SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAPPENING!! YAY YIPPEE STAKES AND PATHOS!!!#I don't just want nothing bad to happen ever! but I don't want it to feel careless or heartless or just... Not Fun#anyway. grasping william's hands so tightly. my beloved friend. my wonderful friend. what a relief to have a DM that's good#after the shit we've been through in our now most-frequently-run campaign#the thing I'm mad about is that destal has been making a mystery saving throw every night-- but this was imperceptible to the characters#so we weren't acting on it#and now that he's failed it three times the situation is 'okay NOW you will be maming a con save every night and accumulating exhaustion'#'which can't be removed by sleeping' [six levels of exhaustion Kill You]#so like!! well okay I wish we had had ANY way of knowing how urgent this was before we got to 'now there's a deadly countdown' BUT OKAY#but like I said. he clearly put a lot of thought into the math for the mechanics#he made sure that we DO actually have ANYTHING we can do to mitigate the condition and outlined several options specifically and clearly#he checked in with justin about whether that seemed fair and opened it for future retooling if necessary#so I'm just at 'that was kind of a rugpull dude :/' instead of DESPAIRING lmao#this is a level of Oh Shit that's juicy! this is a level of Oh Shit that might force dramatic character choices out of desperation!#THIS IS AN OH SHIT WHERE WE STILL GET TO PLAY DND ABOUT IT AND HAVE ANY AGENCY WHATSOEVER. WHAT A CONCEPT.#ANYWAY!!! GOOD DND SAVE ME!!!!!!!!!
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God . . . imagine thinking Laios is a bad person who doesn't care about people. actual insanity.
#yea this is about you know who's 'review' again. it's on my mind now that i'm trying to finish the series. sowwy. ;9#making this unrebloggable from the getgo this time so that drama obsessed freaks can't get their hands on my ramblings again. fuck off lmao#anyways imagine thinking that. IMAGINE THINKING THAT HE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT HIS SISTER. GET WELL SOON OR FUCKING PERISH.#EDIT HEY I'M NOT QUITE DONE ACTUALLY:#i heard someone else say this and now that i finished the series i honestly gotta agree on some level#i think this specific YTer did genuinely try to give the series as a whole another shot (since she was only watching the anime at first)#but then when she went into the manga was so fucking mad at her viewers and fans straight up disagreeing with her personal interpretations#(which were wrong but she took them down the dumb as fuck and extremely wrong road of All of These Are Factual Actually Sorry)#that she only really skimmed the manga (or looked at footnotes/summaries) and took up a soapbox of I Know Everything About This Thing Now#and doubled down on her just completely wrong and honestly dumb opinions and interpretations being presented as fact out of pure spite#it legit sucks so fucking bad. cause like i know and have actually seen her audience who haven't ever touched the series#(or some that maybe started it and have some sort of beef with it for one reason or another and had those feelings validated by her)#parrot back these ideas as if they're true! i partly know it cause it happened with me and her talking about fucking ****** ********!#like legit i sometimes check like her channel or her blog on here every so often and i saw a post of hers on here#where someone in the replies just. blindly agreed with her! and called Laios a bad person probably without ever checking DM out themselves!#which is crazy cause this YTer used to call out like other YTers not taking hard stances#feeling they have to cloak whatever opinions or stances they have in a million This Is Just My Opinion disclaimers etc#which made me realize Oh Hey Yea They Do That like i used to like that about her!#but. you know. if her audience isn't forming their own opinions about a series and just parroting back her own to validate her being wrong.#then it's fine. i guess. epic echo chamber moments or what the fuck ever.#okay NOW i'm done i think. this time. i like to bitch and moan so i might vague post about her again probably. tee hee. :3
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one of the guys that runs a reaction channel i've been watching for ages just announced that they're ending the channel next year bc he got a job offer and he's getting married and he's thinking about his family and his future and like...
my son in christ you are 21
i literally want to fucking die
#dont get me wrong! good for him! i'm happy for him#but he really said he started the channel when he was younger (turns out that was 18) and it felt like time to move on#i am 31 and only got the job i love a year and a half ago#i have been dating and living with the same person for... 10 years in 11 days and all i've ever wanted is to get married#(and be a mom but i dont think im ever getting that one but im gonna go ahead and focus on that one zero percent or i'll cry)#i say. like all of this doesnt make me want to cry lmao#i am so incredibly blessed to have what i have. like truly i ended up with the perfect sort of life for my awkward mentally ill ass#but i cannot NOT spiral just a little when people younger than me have the things i want so so bad and then also talk as if their young age#is older than it is. i know you feel mature and older but you are still so fucking young. and okay honestly - now that im rambling - thats#just part of it huh?? i mean a lot of the spiral is actually Wow. I really lost so much of my life (so much time. so many opportunities) to#mental illness and other shit i couldn't control and there are people who didn't fucking have that. there are people who didn't have to#deal with any of that!!! honestly!!! and you just.. dont do anything to prepare for the future when you do not expect there to be one for#so long and then you can't stop fucking everything up and then oh look! you're in your 30s and-#god i cannot fucking do this#it is 1:35 in the morning and im tired but now i feel really stubborn about going to bed. i should. i want to. but also i dont.#actually going to bed is where The Horrors are so#this really was the dumbest fucking shit i think im gonna go to bed & play p.m on my phone and try to be a little less pathetic#maison speaks
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#im sorry im getting feelings again#i was going to say i dont like being in tune w my feelings but. am i rlly LMAO#im not. im not rlly i dont recognize them i cant rlly name them outside of the main 3#all i know is that wanting smth usually leads to sadness bcs. when will it be my turn. will i EVER get my turn#and rn i want smth so bad which ik will turn into smth bad. sigh#and wanting smth im not sure i will ever get leads me to feeling im wasting my time bcs the things i can do now r very limited and outside#of that i cant rlly do shit. like. i rlly cant and it takes me to self-doubt. it makes me question myself#and i hate questioning myself bcs im not sure about a THING. is it the right path am i doing things right#and i dont know!!!!!! i dont know!!!!!!!!!!!! i dont know if i made the right decision of dropping out. i dont know if it was the right#choice to start a new major. in a new university. im not sure#and it makes me insecure bcs what if i was wrong what if im doing things wrong what if i didnt do the right thing#idk man. this path has been so lonely and i know i keep repeating myself i just have to wait to do things i want but what if i dont get it#< see i said feeling things usually take the wrong turn#this isn't very silly goofy of me im sorry#i just gotta be my own comedic relief or i will go absolutely fucking insane#idk man. i just wanna feel like i made the right decision and that im doing things for my own good without doubting myself#i wanna feel secure in life and i want to feel proud of me but on the mean time im just gonna live through ppl feeling proud of me#and im gonna live ignoring every single feeling bcs i dont like feeling them at all and im gonna keep protecting myself getting attached to#fictional stories and such#jo.txt#if someone read til here im sorry for the thoughts and stuff i will go back to being silly goofy rn đ
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It's a trip being told I look like my dad every so often, I was cleaning the shelves and found the one picture of a happy family from before I was even born or my mother even met him and Bailey spoke up behind me and said "that picture always me out because I see you" And man is that complicated
#Like all things to do with him it is complicated#It used to (before he went in the icu) hurt my feelings to hear her say that shit#On some I'm nothing like him tip#It used to fuel my dysmorphia so so bad looking in the mirror and seeing him#Negative feelings and like. darkness that says all I am is what he made#Like do you ever have that feeling that you were just born wrong and thats all there is to it#Now I feel less like that#Even when I look in the mirror#Because I dont see him as black and white#Idk its just one of those things I think too much about#Side note it is DEEPLY deeply cursed#Haunting even#To see my dad with no mustache#Lmao#Put that back where it came from or so help me
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WHY ARE WORDS HARD.
anyone else always at war with words and never gets along with them? because they refuse to say what you want them to say? and people always interpet words differently than you? đ
#do you ever use words to try describing an abstract feeling...but the words make people feel something opposite so they misinterpret#i do this all the time. theres a disconnect between how my brain works and the english language and its so hard to connect them#so the result is me wording things very wrong in everyone elses eyes and they tell me im saying the opposite of what i mean#but i cant guess how people will interpret words i use! even if i did use them strictly by definition. no exaggeration or metaphor#so i cause misunderstandings ALL THE TIME.#anyone else good at doing this? anyone else really bad at turning your feelings into words and explaining and doing it wrong? đ
#and if i ever make a post or reply to anyone here that confuses or upsets you im sorry. you can ask for clarification and ill try to explain#but i cant promise the explanation won't be a panicked trauma response that doesnt make sense.....#because misunderstandings are the biggest trigger for my trauma even if its a tiny one.....so panic trauma brain tries to do words#which often makes it even worse lmao. but its trying its best i promise đ#lee text
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also gonna be soooo insane for a minute re:prev post. not me looking at the helsinki gp like đ and going hmmmmm đ
#i MAYBE will be acting so unwise when i finally get my residence permit from an eu country like#girl where's the money. yes you can now go to other countries but money where#also time where too probably........ but it's a future problem#đ#also i say/think all this but i would feel way too guilty to actually spend money on 'not essential' stuff there lmao#especially since im already feeling guilty abt Still not getting any scholarships or anything#literally . worst person ever award for me for wanting to study abroad in this economy . i suck#but in the long run it will be fineeeee we all gotta escape this hell somehow#sometimes i think abt and like aw maybe it wouldnt be So Bad to stay here huh#but then it feels so overwhelmingly. suffocating#feels wrong to let go of this chance when i have it. but also makes me feel extremely guilty#bc like. what's so special abt me why do i get to do this selfishly asking support from my family#while they're still here and im there and . you know it feels so selfish but i Am always a little selfish#and . i shouldn't think too much abt it#anyway today my friend asked me if i ended up staying there and we were both 30 and she was still here#would i marry her to get her a citizenship too and sjjsjejejrjfuekkskdufuf#yeah i should stop feeling guilty and start feeling thankful that i can try this experience ............#it's tru actually. never thought abt it like that i guess....#still feels like somehow impossible that i Will actually get this experience like lmfao#i should probably sleep
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this doesn't feel fair
#âł valentin vents#so much i could say. not that there's a point in saying anything. but also not that that's ever stopped me.#i knew it'd end. i knew i wouldn't be able to handle staying friends. but it still feels unfair.#i keep cycling through ''i am literally so chill i am vibing'' - ''ok i'm kinda sad but thats ok'' n ''throbbing chest pain why why why''#i don't know what i want. i can't think of a solution to feeling this way. all i can do is wait but i want to feel better now.#there was no way to fix things as there was nothing to be fixed.#but it still hurts. i'm still jealous. that's all i'm good at being.#i'm sad but i don't know why i'm sad. if i stop and really think i should only be a little sad.#i want to be angry but there's nobody to reasonably be angry at. nobody's done anything wrong.#i can only imagine how i'm the only one feeling this way lmao#maybe that's another of my ''source my anxiety told me'' thoughts but#i also just can't imagine why someone would actually be upset no longer having me in their life?#especially when there's other beings. there's someone else. there always has been.#i don't even know what i wantttt#i don't want to date again. bad idea. i'm too scared. i need to recover. i should focus on myself.#but i don't want to be alone. it's terrible.#i don't regret anything. i think. it's not like with my abuser where i regret each and every thing.#it was a good thing. if nothing else i know more about my needs. i know how to have courage to bring up issues.#i know when it's time to stop trying and to let go. i guess.#idk oh my god this is a fucking novel#again heyy could be worse. if uu think this is annoying ya'll should've seen me while i was w my abuser JDJFKJDNJD#i'd literally vent like every day abt him. which honestly fair he gave me a lot of trust issues. but rip to everybun who knew me in 2022 fr#* ok i have realized it's like. the exact same so far bc i've kept venting abt this LMFAOOO but uhh.#the venting back then was MUCH more colorfully worded and often. and less somber more ''i fucking hate c's guts i want that [insults] DEAD'#and like every 30 minutes. at least ya'll r getting pauses between my annoying ass posts HJDHJFH
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well, all right iâm bad, but then youâre no prize eitherâŚ
pair: joel miller x fem!reader
wc: 8.6k
contains: 18+ SMUT MDNI, no ellie, general violence (only referenced), age gap (56/26), swearing, so many spacers lmao, not quite friends to lovers and not quite enemies to lovers but a weird other thing, kinda mean!joel for a good sec, dressing wounds, joel miller TUMMY, loss of virginity (reader is a virgin but she's not completely oblivious and weirdly infantile about it lmao), fingering (fem!receiving), p in v, unprotected sex whoops, size kink, belly bulging, pussy pronouns, porn with a tiny plot, no use of y/n.
natâs note: well, i finally caved yâall. babyâs first tlou fic! this literally took me forever to write and even longer to post cause i was so terrified LMAO so please give me some grace if itâs shit and heâs ooc and timelines are a little fuzzy cause i barely know what iâm doing. thank you chickens love you mwah mwah mwah. kisses!
dividers by lovely @saradika-graphics!
joel found a lodge houseâŚ
You donât know what you did to make Joel Miller hate you so much.
He's never outright said it, but you know itâs thereâin every sharp glance, every clipped word, every deliberate avoidance.
Besides, his silence is worse than anything he could say. A quiet condemnation that settles in your chest like stone.
You tell yourself it doesnât matter, that you donât care what he thinks, but the truth is harder to swallow.
You do careâmore than you want to admit. His approval, his respect, hell, even a sliver of kindness from him feels like an impossible prize youâll never win.
And you hate yourself for wanting it. For needing it.
It's not just the weight of his disdain that eats at you, it's the not knowing why. God, do you wish you could ask him why.
What did you do to make him look at you like youâre some necessary evil he has to tolerate. Why does he hold some unspoken grudge that's manifested itself into something you couldn't dream of ever comprehending.
But the thought of confronting Joel feels like standing on the edge of a cliff, staring down into a void that might swallow you whole.
So instead, you do what you've always done. You keep your distance, try to match his indifference with your own, and tell yourself itâs better this way.
You were young when the outbreak hit, six years old.
Youâre sure thatâs part of it. That thatâs how Joel sees you, as some bumbling, naive child whoâs more of a hassle than anything else.
Another mouth to feed, another back to watch, baggage.
You've been with him for almost seven months now, traveling side by side when you may have well been miles apart. Trekking through abandoned cities, overgrown highways, and every godforsaken patch of wilderness in between.
In the beginning, you did everything you could to prove him wrong.
You pushed yourself past your limits, hunted, scavenged, fought, kept up. You did everything that needed to be done without hesitation.
All to show that you were more than what he made you out to be. It never seemed to matter much.
After you lost your parents in the early days of the outbreak, it was just you and your sister. She taught you everything you know, taught you how to survive.
It's because of her that you know how to shoot a rifle, how to skin a rabbit, how to start a fire with nothing but sticks and dried moss, how to snap bones and locate which vital arteries bleed out the quickest.
It's because of her that you've been able to hone some sick skill in the maiming of clickers.
A skill you never thought you'd need to use on her.
You were supposed to be safe in the QZ. You weren't supposed to be fifteen years old, aiming a gun at the one person you had left.
Your own flesh and blood wasn't supposed to be the very first in a long list of red tallies under your belt.
Itâs been years and youâve still never forgotten that day. December 19th, 2012, the date burned into your brain like someone took a branding iron to the tissue.
You canât count the amount of times youâve been ripped from your sleep drenched in a cold sweat with the tail end of a scream tearing at the skin of your throat.
The image of what was left of your sister, slumped on the ground lifeless as her blood painted the wall behind her flashing behind your closed eyelids. The sound of her last labored breath ringing in your ears louder than any shotgun blast.
You ran that same night, with the weight of her death on your shoulders.
Your entire world spinning out around you as you clawed through barbed wire fencing, not caring where you were going or what would happen to youâjust needing to escape.
There was nothing left for you to do after that but survive. And thatâs what you did, for years, scraping by in a world that had already chewed you up and spit you out a mangled mess.
You learned how to be ruthless because of it.
How to harden yourself against the loss, the pain, the brutality. But there were cracks, too. Cracks you hid well, buried deep beneath layers of stubbornness and distance.
The endless days blurred into each other. Empty houses, hollow streets. A life reduced to scavenging, hiding, and the occasional, fleeting moment of human connection that inevitably ended in loss.Â
And then you found yourself with Joel.
You hadnât exactly found him, though. More like crashed into his orbit by accident.
A few desperate days spent scavenging through the ruins of a small town, a chance encounter that left you both wary and unwilling to turn your backs.
But, inexplicably, you somehow became part of his traveling routine.
He wasnât like any of the others youâd met before. At first, you thought he might be different. A man who seemed broken, but different nonetheless.
As the days turned into weeks, and weeks into months, you began to see the truth. Joel Miller wasnât concerned with you. He didnât need you. And, more than that, he didnât want you around.Â
You didnât know what to do with that.
Itâs a bitter kind of irony. Youâve survived all this time completely on your own, fought tooth and nail to stay alive, but with him, you might just crumble.
Joel found a lodge house. It's a small, weathered place tucked away in the dense trees of the wood surrounding it.
He only deemed it suitable after an extensive perimeter check and a thorough sweep of the interior.
It's not muchâjust another run-down place in the middle of nowhereâbut for the first time in what feels like forever, itâs a roof over your head for the night.
The walls are sturdy, though the windows are cracked and half of the floorboards creak like they're about to give out at any moment.
You explored the second floor alone, creeping through the desolate rooms and taking in all that was left behind.
Old family photographs covered in thick layers of dust, worn clothes riddled with holes still hung in the few closets you stumble across.
The oddest of all was an old jewelry box tucked away in a dresser draw, tarnished silver dull and muddy.
The sound of familiar footsteps comes from somewhere behind you. The door creaks open slowly.
Joel. Of course.
He clears his throat, the sound abrasive in the quiet of the house. Â
âFireâs low,â he says, voice rough from its lack of use today.
You donât turn around, not yet. You take the box in your gloved hand, running your fingers across the intricate design of the lid, touch trailing over winding vines and small roses.
âOkay,â you mutter, your voice coming out quieter than you intended. âIâll grab some more wood later.â
Another beat of silence. Then, âItâs gettinâ cold out, Iâll go.â
Your fingers pause their ministrations, moving to flip the lid open. Empty.
âSuit yourself,â you reply after a moment, your tone just as neutral as his.
Joel doesnât leave right away. You hear the floorboards groan beneath his weight, his presence lingering in the doorway.Â
You wonder what heâs waiting for, or if heâs waiting at all.
Finally, he speaks. âDonât touch anything.â
With that he turns and leaves the room, you wait until you canât hear his footsteps trailing down the stairs anymore to let out the scoff festering in your chest.
You snap the jewelry lid shut with a little more force than necessary. âAsshole.â
Joel's been gone for a while now. Longer than it takes to chop a few logs for firewood.
You came down from the upstairs a few minutes after hearing the tell-tale sound of the heavy door opening and closing. The main room is quiet, save for the soft crackle of the dwindling fire.
You're perched on an old armchair near the entrance, peering out the dirty window that has the best view of the treeline as you nervously pick the skin around your nails.
You tell yourself not to worry. Heâs probably fine, heâs been doing this a lot longer than you. And if Joel is anything, itâs annoyingly competent.
Still, a nagging doubt itches at the back of your mind. It's been at least half an hour, maybe more.
Youâre just about to grab your own pack and go looking for him when the front door creaks open.
Joel stumbles inside, the frigid evening air rushing in behind him before he slams the door shut. At first glance, he looks fineâno more haggard than usual.Â
But then you notice the way he favors his left side, the way his free hand is pressed against his ribs, blood seeping through his fingers and staining his torn undershirt.
Youâre on your feet in an instant.
âFuck,â you say, voice sharper than you expected. âWhat the hell happened?â
âRaiders.â Is the only explanation you get as he tries to brush past you like itâs nothing. The stiff way he moves and the tightens of his jaw betray him. âSâjust a scratch.â
âBullshit,â you snap, stepping in front of him and blocking his path to the fire. âSit. Now.â
He gives you a look, one of those deep, withering glares youâve seen him use to intimidate countless others into submission. But you stand your ground, chin raised and jaw setâdefiant.Â
His stubbornness finally meeting its match in your own.Â
Finally, with a low growl of frustration, he drops onto the couch. âHappy now?â
"Not until you let me take care of that." You motion toward his side, where the blood is still spreading.
âIâm fine,â he mutters, lolling his head back to rest more heavily on the couch.
âSure you are,â you snap, crossing the room to rifle through your bag. âAnd Iâm the fucking Queen of England.â
"Said Iâm fine," he bites through gritted teeth, but youâre already moving, heading back to him with the first aid kit from your pack.
"You want to bleed out on this ugly-ass couch? Be my guest," you shoot back, dropping to your knees in front of him. "Otherwise, shut up and let me help."
Joel surprisingly doesnât argue any further, just sighs heavily and reluctantly sinks further into the couch cushions.
You push the front of his jacket open to slide it off his shoulders as gently as you can, peeling back the layer of his flannel next.
The smell of blood hits you immediately.
The gash is about five inches long, trailing the span of his ribcage. Itâs deepâbut not fatalâjust an angry red and oozing blood.
Definitely not the simple 'scratch' he made it out to be.
Your stomach churns at the sight, but you push it down. No time for that.
âJesus, Joel,â you mutter under your breath, reaching for the alcohol in your kit. âYou really know how to underplay a situation, huh?â
He doesnât respond, just watches you with those dark, calculating eyes of his. Always watching, always assessing.
Itâs unnerving, but you focus on the task at hand, grabbing a clean cloth and soaking it with alcohol.
âThis is gonna hurt,â you warn, though thereâs a part of you that doesnât mind the idea of causing him a little discomfort.
A petty, vindictive part that still stings from all the scorn heâs thrown your way.
âJust get it over with,â Joel grits out, his voice low and gravelly.
You donât give him any more warnings as you wipe the soaked cloth over the wound. He flinches, a harsh curse slipping through clenched teeth, but he doesnât pull away.
You work as quickly as you can, wiping away the blood and dirt with steady hands, your movements as gentle as possible given the situation.
You let out an annoyed huff when the torn fabric of his shirt gets in the way of your hands for a second time.
You lean back on your heels, glancing up at Joel. âYou need to take your shirt off.â
Joel raises a brow at you, his lips pressing into a thin line. âThat really necessary?â
âYes, itâs necessary, Joel,â you huff, already losing patience. âUnless you want me to sit here and cut around every thread of this ratty thing while you bleed out, then by all meansââ
He sighs heavily, cutting you off as he shifts forward and grabs the hem of his shirt. He tugs at the fabric, grunting in pain each time it strains his ribs.
You roll your eyes at how slow heâs moving, and your patienceâalready worn thin by the day's eventsâsnaps.
âJesus Christ, let me help,â you huff, reaching forward and grabbing the fabric.
Joel jerks back slightly, his hand shooting up to stop yours mid-motion. âI got it,â he growls, a sharp edge in his voice.
You glare at him, your hand still caught in his grip. His palm is calloused, his hold firm enough to make your pulse jump unexpectedly.Â
For a moment, the two of you just sit there, locked in a silent standoff.
Then he releases your hand and pulls the shirt over his head himself, wincing as the movement pulls at his side.
You wait with your arms crossed, trying to ignore the awkward flutter of nerves in your stomach as the fabric peels away to reveal his chest.
Joelâs broad, solid frame isnât new to you. Youâve seen him shirtless beforeâbrief glimpses when bathing in rivers or changing in run down houses between stops.
But this time feels different, more intimate somehow.
Youâre staring, and you know it.
The firelight cast shadows over his skin, illuminating old scars, faint lines of muscle, the barely there jut of his stomach over the hem of his jeans.
You had been getting more game kills recently, two hunters are always better than one.
Joel clears his throat, dragging your focus back to the present. âYou gonna gawk all night, or can we move this along?â
You snap out of it, scowling to cover your embarrassment. âYeah, yeah. Donât get your panties in a twist.â
You finish cleaning the gash and grab the small needle and thread lying next to you.
âThisâll hurt worse than the alcohol,â you say, threading the needle easily.
Joel snorts, a rare sound. âFigures.â
The needle pierces his skin, and this time, you catch the smallest hitch in his breath. He doesnât make a sound, but his jaw tightens, the veins in his neck standing out like cords.
His hands grip the edge of the couch hard enough that his knuckles turn white with it, but he doesnât tell you to stop or slow down.
Heâs too damn proud for that.
You shift closer, your knee brushing against his leg as you position yourself to work from a better angle. You feel his eyes on you, that intense, scrutinizing stare that makes your skin prickle.
âYouâve done this before,â Joel says after a moment, his tone less sharp than before. Itâs not quite a question, more of an observation.
You shrug, keeping your hands steady. âOf course I have.â
âWho taught you?â
The question catches you off guard, Joelâs never shown much interest in what your life was before you met him. You glance up briefly, catching his gaze. Thereâs no malice there, no judgmentâjust curiosity.
You swallow hard, dragging your eyes back to stitches, half way done now. âMy sister.â
You donât elaborate and Joel doesnât push.
Maybe itâs the sudden tightness in your tone or the look you know must be clouding your face that keeps him quiet.
You finish off the stitching, tearing the thin strand of thread with your hands before youâre leaning away again.
âGood as new,â you say, dabbing some more alcohol on your own hands to disinfect. âTry not to tear these open anytime soon.â
Joel leans back, strong arms spread across the back of the couch, his face unreadable as he peers down at the fresh stitching on his side.Â
âCouldâve done it myself,â he mutters, but the edge in his voice is gone, replaced with something softer, almost resigned.Â
You roll your eyes with a scoff, not even trying to hide your irritation as you rise from the floor. âSure you couldâve, right before you passed out. Youâre welcome by the way.â
You gather your supplies and turn to head back to your bag, but Joelâs voice stops you in your tracks.
âYouâre always like this, yâknow,â he says, and the words carry that same gravelly drawl, but thereâs something new thereâsomething heavier.
You pause, your hands tightening around the kit in your grasp. âLike what?â
âPushy. Stubborn,â he replies, his tone cutting, though it lacks the usual venom. âLike youâve got somethinâ to prove all the damn time.â
You whip around, your patience officially gone. âYou think Iâm stubborn?â you shoot back, your voice rising. âComing from the guy who would rather bleed out on a fucking couch than admit he needs help?â
Joelâs jaw tightens, and his hands flex against the couch cushions, but you donât stop. Not now. Not after months of this.
âIâve been busting my ass since day one to prove that Iâm not dead weight to you. Iâve fought for us, for you. And for what? Just to get more of your bullshit attitude?â
âYou donât know what the hell youâre talkinâ about,â Joel snaps, pushing himself upright despite the obvious strain it puts on his freshly stitched wound. âYou donât know a goddamn thing about me.â
âBecause you wonât let me!â you fire back, stepping closer, your voice rising. âAll you do is look at me like Iâm some burden you canât wait to get rid of.â
Joelâs glare sharpens, his lips parting as if to respond, but you cut him off.
You really canât stop yourself now that you started, all the anger and frustration reaching a fever pitch hot enough to burst the tight lid youâve kept on your emotions.
âIf Iâm such a hassle, why didnât you just leave me back there, huh? Why didnât you just walk away like I know you wanted to?â
Joelâs breathing is heavier now, his broad chest rising and falling as his dark eyes bore into yours.
For a moment, he doesnât say anything. Then, he stands, and the sheer size of him forces you to tilt your chin up slightly to keep your glare fixed on his face.
âYou think I wanted this, kid?â he growls, his voice low and strained, like heâs barely holding himself together. âYou think I wanted to be responsible for someone else? To have someone elseâs fuckinâ life on me?â
âDonât call me kid,â you spit, shoving a finger into his chest, ignoring the way his jaw ticks at the contact. âIâm not a fucking kid.â
He scoffs, casting his eyes to the ceiling disbelievingly. âCouldâve fooled me.â
âFuck you, Joel,â you growl, fists clenching at your side. âIf you hate me that much, why the hell are you still here? Why didnât you tell me to fuck off the second you met me?â
âBecause I couldnât!â Joel snaps, booming voice filling the small space.
The confession slips out like it pains him. His fists clench at his sides, and for a moment, he looks like he might break something.
Youâve never been scared of Joel, even though youâve seen first hand just how scary he can be.
Now, as he looms in front of you, eyes blazing and jaw working furiously beneath his skin, itâs the closest to scared youâve felt.
âIâve seen you out there,â he continues, tone low and dark. âYouâve got a fuckinâ death wish. Youâre too damn stubborn to just stop, and Iâm not gonna let you go so you can run off and get yourself fuckinâ killed.â
Your heart pounds in your chest, his words hitting far too close to home.
âIâm just trying to survive, Joel,â you snap, your voice shaking. âThatâs what we do, isnât it? Survive.â
âSurvive,â Joel repeats bitterly, his gaze burning into yours. âThat what you call it? Throwinâ yourself into every goddamn fight, gettinâ stabbed and shot right fuckinâ in front of me and expecting me to brush that shit off?â
You let out a humorless laugh, nodding your head exasperatedly. âYes, yes I do expect you to just brush it off, because thatâs what you always do.âÂ
âWell I canât,â he grates out, taking a step closer. âI canât âcause despite whatever it is that you may think about me, I donât hate you. I care about you too damn much and that's my goddamn problem.â
That shuts you up, your mouth snapping closed with a sharp click of your teeth as you stare at him, shocked.
Joel holds your gaze, lips pressed into a thin line. âThat what you wanted to hear?â
Itâs in that moment that the fire finally fizzles out, the dull hiss of it the only sound left in the room.
Youâre quiet for a beat, stunned into silence. The heat of his anger, his frustration, it radiates off him, and you realize suddenly that this isnât just about you.Â
It never was.
âThen show me,â you challenge softly, your heart pounding in your chest. âShow me that you donât hate me.â
Joelâs eyes darken, his head cocking to the side as he searches your face for a sign. You donât say anything, you only square your shoulders and raise your chin, your eyes just as hard as his own.
âI want you to prove it.â
The tension snaps like a rubber band stretched too far.Â
You shouldnâtâthis shouldnâtâhappen. Not like this. Not after everything thatâs been said.
But when Joelâs lips crash against yours, hot and desperate and urgent, it makes everything blur into nothing.Â
Itâs not gentle, not softâthis is anger and longing and frustration all wrapped into one. Itâs messy, frantic, like a fight thatâs been brewing for too long.
He grips your arm, pulling you closer, almost too roughly, but it feels like itâs everything youâve both been avoiding.
His other hand moves to cup the back of your neck, grounding you as his lips press harder against yours, like heâs trying to pour everything he canât say into this single moment.
You respond just as fiercely, nails digging into the skin of his shoulders as you kiss him back with all the pent-up emotion thatâs been simmering beneath the surface.
The coarse hair of his beard scrapes against the skin of your chin deliciously, the scent of blood and firewood filling your senses as his arm wraps around your waist, dragging you impossibly closer.
Close enough that you can feel the wild beat of his heart booming against your chest.
You pull away for a second, breathless, both of you looking at each other, your eyes wide and pupils blown.
âGoddamn it,â Joel mutters, his voice thick with frustration and something else you canât place. He presses his forehead to yours, the deep brown of his eyes dark than before. âWhat the hell are we doing?â
You donât have an answer. Youâre not sure if you even want one.
You reach for him again, arms looping around his neck to drag his mouth back to yours.
This kiss is nothing like the first, it isnât a clash of frustrationâitâs filthier, rawer. A near feral thing, all teeth and tongue, a surge of hunger and need that borders on violence.Â
Joel groans into your mouth, a low, guttural sound that sends a shiver racing down your spine. His teeth catch your bottom lip, pulling just hard enough to make you gasp.
He takes advantage of the sound, his tongue sweeping into your mouth to slide against yours with wet, messy desperation, like heâs trying to claim every inch of you.
The taste of himâsalt and iron and something distinctly Joelâmakes your head spin.Â
Your fingers knot into the chocolaty curls at the nape of his neck, surprisingly soft to the touch. His own hands roam the soft curves of your body, rough and insistent, like he canât decide where he wants to touch you most.
âJoelââ His name spills from your lips like a plea, and he answers with a deep, guttural noise that sends heat pooling low in your belly. His tongue follows the path of his teeth, soothing the bites with lazy, deliberate strokes that make your knees weak.
Youâre moving before you even realize it. Joel dragging you across the room and down onto the couch with him, using the strength heâs built up after all these years to manhandle you until your thighs are spread wide on either side of his lap.
âJoel,â you gasp again, rearing back enough to break the kiss. âYour stitchesââ
He cuts you off with a sharp nip to the sensitive spot behind your ear, tearing a high whine from your throat. âCan hardly feel âem.â
You make a displeased sound, but itâs undermined by the way you tilt your head to give his wandering lips more room. His hands find a home on your hips, one slipping beneath your shirt to press against the soft skin of your stomach.Â
His fingers splay wide across your skin, his palm callused and rough. His pinky just barely brushes the underside of your breast, and youâre suddenly rearing back.Â
âWait,â you say, your voice barely a whisper.
Joelâs hands immediately loosen their grip on your hips, his brows knitting together in concern. âYou okay?â
You nod quickly, your heart pounding in your chest. âI just...I need to tell you something.â
His jaw tightens slightly, but he stays quiet, waiting for you to speak.
You take a beat, chewing at the skin of your bottom lip nervously.
âIâve never...â You pause, swallowing hard as your cheeks heat up. âIâve never done this before. I mean, Iâve never been with anyone like this.â
Joel pulls back slightly, his expression unreadable as he processes your words. For a moment, you think he might pull away completely, but then he exhales a long, slow breath.
âChrist,â he mutters, scrubbing a hand down his face. âYouâre tellinâ me this now?â
âI didnât exactly plan for this to happen,â you snap back, crossing your arms over your chest defensively. âItâs not like I had the luxury of a high school sweetheart to pop my cherry out here.â
Joelâs gaze softens at your tone, and he reaches out to cup your cheek, his thumb brushing against your skin. âHey, hey, I didnât mean it like that.â
You glance away, suddenly feeling self-conscious under the weight of his stare. âI just...I wanted you to know. But I want this, Joel. I want you.â
His thumb stills against your cheek, and he swallows hard, his adamâs apple bobbing as he considers your words.
âI donât...â He pauses, the most hesitant youâve ever heard him. âI donât want to hurt you.â
Itâs the most vulnerable heâs been around you, round eyes shining with something so raw and so earnest it makes your heart ache in your chest.Â
âYou wonât,â you insist, your voice steady despite the nerves fluttering in your stomach. âI trust you.â
Joelâs jaw clenches, and for a moment, he looks like heâs going to argue. But then he nods, his shoulders relaxing as he cups the back of your neck, pulling you closer until your foreheads touch again.
âAt least let me do this right,â he murmurs, his voice so soft you almost donât hear it. âNot here. Not on some goddamn couch.â
You blink up at him, surprised by the tenderness in his tone. âWhat?â
âUpstairs,â he says, his thumb tracing lazy circles against the side of your neck. âThereâs a bed up there. It ainât much, but itâs better than this.â
You canât do anything but nod, your pulse racing beneath your skin fast enough to combat the cold night air seeping through the walls.
âOkay,â you say softly, voice barely above a whisper. âUpstairs.â
Joel stands, gently pulling you to feet and taking your hand in his. He leads you upstairs, each step feeling heavier with anticipation. The small bedroom is dimly lit, the faint glow of moonlight filtering through a broken blind.Â
The bed isnât muchâan old mattress on a worn frame, covered with a patched-up blanketâbut it doesnât matter.
Joel shuts the door behind you, the sound of the latch clicking into place sending a shiver down your spine.
âLast chance,â he says, his voice a low rumble. âYou say the word, and we stop. No questions asked.â
Your throat tightens at the sincerity in his tone, the way heâs giving you an out even though you can see the strain in every line of his body, the way his hands flex at his sides like he wants nothing more than to reach out and touch you.
But you donât hesitate.
You step closer, placing your hands on his bare chest. You bite back a smile at the goosebumps that break out all along his skin at your touch.Â
âJesus, Miller,â you mumble teasingly, nails lightly scratching through the salt and pepper hair scattered along his chest. âHow long are you gonna drag this out before you get it through your thick skull that I want to fuck you?â
"Christ." Joel huffs, shaking his head as the corners of his lips turn up in a small grin. âLike I fuckinâ said,â he starts, big hands kneading the meat of your hips. âPushy.â
Joel walks you backward until the backs of your knees hit the edge of the bed, and you fall onto it with a soft gasp.
He follows you immediately, crawling over you, his body covering yours, his weight a comforting pressure. âIâll take care of you,â he murmurs, his lips brushing yours. âIâll make it good for you, I swear.â
His fingers are everywhere, unbuttoning your shirt with a practiced ease that has your pulse racing. His lips follow the path of his hands, each touch a branding mark, each kiss leaving you wanting more.
âPretty girl,â he mutters softly, pressing a kiss right between the valley of your breasts.
You feel his cock stirring against your stomach, and it makes the ache between your legs flare to life, the weight of it, the hardness of it, driving you crazy with need.Â
You want him so badly you can barely think straight, but when his lips graze over your collarbone, you canât stop the quiet whine that escapes your throat.
Joel growls in response, a sound that resonates deep in his chest, and you know then that heâs as far gone as you are. His hands slide down to the waistband of your pants, tugging them down your legs with urgency.Â
As your skin is exposed to the cool air, you can feel the heat of his gaze on you, like heâs memorizing every inch of you.
âYouâre fuckin' perfect,â he mutters, his voice thick with desire.
Joel's hands find your thighs, parting them with a deliberate slowness that makes your breath catch in your throat. He positions himself between your legs, his body weight pressing you into the mattress, his chest rising and falling with the same frantic rhythm as yours.Â
The anticipation is almost unbearable as his fingers trace the line of your panties, the fabric damp with want.
âJesus, sheâs drippinâ for me already,â he mutters, voice rough, as he slides the material to the side, his thumb brushing over the sensitive swell of your clit.
Your body jerks at the contact, a desperate sound escaping your lips, but Joel doesnât relent.
âYou touch yourself down here, baby?â he asks, working tortuously slow circles over your clit.
"Please," you beg, your hands grasping at the sheets, pulling at them as if they can anchor you to the moment.
He looks up at you, his gaze dark and filled with an intensity that makes your stomach tighten. âAsked you a question, honey.â
You whine, high and loud in your throat as your thighs clench desperately around his wrist. âYes, I touch myself.â
Joelâs lips curl into a satisfied grin, sliding his thick index finger through the messy wetness to slip inside your clenching hole, making you gasp. Your hands grasp at the sheets, pulling at them as if they can anchor you to the moment.
âGood girl,â he breathes, eyes darkening at the broken moan that bursts from your lips. âWhenâs the last time you touched yourself?â
Your brain feels hazy as you search for the answer, pleasure clouding your mind slow and sweet as molasses. âAâa few nights ago.â
Joel hums idly, slipping a second finger alongside the first. The stretch has you whining, his fingers a lot more to take than your own.
Your hands come up to claw at his shoulders, relishing in the way his broad muscle ripples and shifts beneath your greedy palms.
âJoel,â you whine, hips canting down against his hand impatiently.
He just shushes you softly, free hand brushing soothing circles along the skin of your inner thigh. âI know, honey,â he mutters, the pace fingers speeding up. âBut I gotta get her nice and ready if you wanna take my cock.â
The gush of your pussy around his fingers is loud in the stillness of the room, a filthy wet noise that burns your ears each time he plunges them into your aching hole.
âI am ready.â Your breath hitches as your body begins to tremble beneath him. âPlease, Joelâfuckâplease, I needââ
âNeed what?â His voice is thick with dark amusement, but there's a hunger in his eyes that has your stomach twisting. âTell me, baby. What do you need?â
âI need you,â you rasp, your nails digging little crescent moons into his skin, your body pleading for release. âI need you inside me.â
Your hands grab at his hair, pulling him back up to meet your lips in a feverish kiss.Â
The pressure of his body on yours, the way his hard cock grinds against your trembling thigh, drives you to the brink of madness.Â
Your hands trail down his chest, past the waistband of his jeans, finally reaching the bulge straining against the fabric.
Joel groans when you rub him through his pants, feeling his cock twitch in response. He pulls back, breathing heavily, his lips curling into a smirk.Â
âYeah?â he asks, his voice thick with lust. âYou want my cock in this pretty pussy? Want me to show you how good it feels to be fucked?â
âGod, yes,â you answer, desperation lacing your tone as your hand moves to unbuckle his jeans. âWant it so bad.â
He lets you push his pants down just enough to free his cock, and you gasp, your eyes drawn to the way his length stands, thick and hard, just waiting for you. The tip flushed an angry red, drooling pre-come onto the scratchy sheets.
Joel pulls his fingers from you, using his hands spreading your legs wider, positioning himself between them with such careful precision that you can barely stand it.
The head of his cock drags through the mess between your legs, slipping all the way down till it catches on your soaked entrance.
Joel pauses, looking down at you, waiting for your signal, but the only answer you give is a pleading whimper, your hands pulling at his shoulders, urging him to move.
His mouth captures yours once again as he slowly slides into you, the stretch of his cock filling you steadily, making you gasp into his mouth.Â
The slow burn of him carving a place for himself inside of you is almost too much, your body trembling as you adjust to the feeling of him.
âFuck, baby,â Joel mutters against your lips. âYouâre so tight, so fuckinâ perfect for me.â
As he sinks deeper into you, his thick cock finally buried to the hilt inside of you, the feeling is overwhelming. You gasp, nails digging into his back as the pain slowly shifts into pleasure.
Joel groans into your mouth, his hands moving to your hips, guiding you as he rocks gently against you.Â
The rhythm is slow at first, deliberate, as if he's savoring every inch of you. Your body quivers beneath him, every inch of your skin tingling with sensation. You clutch at him, your legs tightening around his waist, needing more, wanting more.
"That's it," he murmurs, his voice thick with desire. "Take it, baby."
You screw your eyes shut tightly, trying to steady yourself as he thrusts deeper, harder. The angle shifts just enough to make your breath catch in your throat.Â
Every stroke feels like itâs hitting the deepest part of you, sparking heat in places you never knew could burn so hot.
"Fuck," you gasp, the sensation too overwhelming, too much in the best way. "Joel... please..."
"Please what, sweetheart?" He pulls back slightly, teasing you with a slow roll of his hips before driving back in with a grunt.
Your nails dig into his shoulders, urging him to move faster, harder. "Donât stop," you breathe, your voice trembling. "I need you to fuck me, Joel. Faster. Harder. Please."
The sound of skin slapping against skin fills the room as Joel finally picks up the pace, each thrust harder and deeper than the last.
Your back arches off the bed, chest pressing flush to his as your body coils tighter and tighter, already so close to the edge.
Joel reaches up to take your wrist in his, dragging your hand down to press flat against your lower stomach.
âFeel that?â he asks breathlessly, the speed of his hips knocking the dingy bed frame into the wall with every thrust. âYou feel how deep I am?â
His own hand blankets yours, pushing down so you can feel the way his cock punches up against your palm on the next thrust.
Your pussy clenches desperately around him at the feeling, your slick lips dropping open on a loud moan.
You can barely hold on. The heat in your stomach tightens, coiling painfully as your free hand scrambles to find purchase on his skin. "I can'tâI'm gonnaâ"
He grits his teeth, his jaw clenched as he drives deeper, pushing you closer and closer to the edge. "Come for me, baby," he growls, his voice dark and commanding. "Let me feel it."
With a strangled cry, you finally release, your body clenching around him, every nerve igniting in a white-hot explosion of pleasure.Â
Youâre lost in it, your world spinning, your senses overwhelmed by the sensation of Joelâs body pounding into yours, the way his cock brushes against that sweet spot behind your clit enough to make sparks go off behind your eyelids.
Joel pulls out of your velvety warmth, hand coming up to fist his dripping length until heâs bowing over you tightly and coming with a deep groan of your name.
His release paints your stomach with milky strands of white, rope after rope of warm come claiming you in a way no one has before.
He finally collapses against you with one last shuddering breath, both of you breathing heavily, your chests rising and falling together in the quiet aftermath.
For a few moments, neither of you speaks, the only sounds are the soft creak of the bed and the quiet hum of your racing hearts.Â
Joel rests his head against your shoulder, his breath warm against your skin, and you can feel the tension begin to slip away, the weight of everything thatâs happened between you both settling into something newâsomething different, but still there.
Your hand slips down the sweaty expanse of your stomach, your fingers swiping through the sticky mess of his release curiously.
âChrist, quit that,â Joel groans, tearing his eyes away from the sight to press his forehead against your shoulder.
âWhy?â you hum, brow raised in amusement as you drop your hand back to the mattress. âCan you even get it up again?â
Joel pinches your side hard enough to make you squeal, your body flinching away from him as a surprised laugh bubbles from your chest.
âWatch it,â he warns, though thereâs no bite to his tone. You only laugh in response.
The two of you settle into a comfortable silence, wrapped in each other as crickets chirp from outside the window.
Then Joel clears his throat, fingers idly tracing different shapes on the skin of your hip as he gathers the courage to speak.
A circle, a square, a diamond, a circle, a heart, a heart, a heart.
âIâmâŚâ he starts, trailing off softly. âIâm sorry. Iâve been a real fuckinâ prick, and you didnât deserve it. You never did.â
You turn your own gaze to his chest, hand coming up so you can trail your fingers along the jagged scar decorating his shoulder. Your touch featherlight over the rough patch of skin.
All the anger seeps from your body, a heavy weight gone until you feel so light you could float off the mattress and into the cold night air.
âItâs okay,â you whisper softly, so soft you think it gets lost in the quiet darkness of the room. âI understand now.â
And for the first time in what feels like forever, you both just lay there, tangled in each other, not worrying about the world outside, about the chaos that waits.Â
Just you, him, and the soft glow of moonlight.
tags are now in the comments! if you want to get tagged for any of my works just fill out this form!
mini nat's note: should i add joel to my taglist...i do kinda want to write more for him in the future but i'm not sure yet...lmk chickens <3 bee tee dubs sorry the ending absolutely sucks i could not for the life of me figure out how to end this LMAO
#â đŻđ˘đľđ˘đđŞđ˘ đ¸đłđŞđľďż˝ďż˝đ´ âĄ#áŻâ
đ§đđ'đŹ đŠđđŤđŹđ¨đ§đđĽ đŁđ¨đđĽ đŚđ˘đĽđĽđđŤ!#natalia cant write anything under 1.000 words#pls be sweet to me#i'm so nervous to post this lmao#love you!#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#joel miller x female reader#joel miller x y/n#joel miller fic#joel miller smut#tlou x reader#tlou x you#tlou fic#tlou smut#the last of us x reader#the last of us x you#the last of us smut#pedro pascal x reader#pedro pascal x you#pedro pascal x y/n#pedro pascal smut
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⎠SCULPTED BODY ⎠-A VAUNT
scripting the perfect bodyâŚ
vaunt model: female [but you can honestly tweak where you need to]
why is my body so perfect? like seriously? why am i so hot? all my outfits look good on me people always contemplate how iâve never looked bad in a single piece of clothing. Ive gotten told i should model more times than i can count.
Itâs like i was perfectly sculpted by the gods, everything is perfect from my boobs to my stomach to my ass to my đą there is no imperfection on my body, not to mention how my arms and legs are seriously so perfect.
my stomach is as flat as can be, my abs are perfect, my chest is the perfect size, perky, full and all my outfits make the girls look SO good. They sit SO pretty and gain alot of traction and jealousy. My butt is the perfect size, with the most gorgeous shape, that look good with everything I wear. My kitty is so so gorgeous and so so pretty. I am the perfect height with my legs as smooth and as gorgeous as ever. My posture is like no other, everyone envies how all aspects of my body are so immaculate.
My skin all round my body is clear and free from blemishes and bruises.
I have the type of body that is deemed âimpossibleâ and that positivity posts tell other girls not to strive for because itâs simply unattainable.
i have everyoneâs dream body, everyone uses me as a template as to what body they want.
I have people joking around with me telling me to âsit stillâ so they can take a picture of me and show it to a surgeon lmao
I have men (and women) saying if their girl ainât built like me they donât want her (but i mean come on guys, they canât all be as perfect as me đ¤)
my body makes boysâ minds go blank and girls deciding whether they wanna be me or be with me can be so confusing
people make workouts so that others can achieve my body type, they ask for my routine my diet. But really a lot of it is my perfect genetics.
Donât get me wrong, iâm a total foodie, but i can eat anything i want without getting bloated and gaining weight, people ask me how i do it, but again just perfect genes. I get compliments on night outs countless of times. My name and my number being asked for multiple times is just a normal part of going out at this point.
I donât have to restrict what i eat and go through unhealthy routes to look as good as i do, im so so healthy
I honestly just feel so good, my body is so perfect, I am so so confident and i feel so so happy with my perfect body, even my skin doesnât act up and thereâs not a single thing I would change.
very obnoxious, i know, but who wouldnât be with my sculpted body
inspo pics: my wife mikaela testa
#sailiprincessa#reality shifting#desired reality#desired body#shiftblr#shifting blog#shifting#the void state#voidstate#void state#desired appearance#desired face#i am state#shifting script#scripting#vaunts & affirmations
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red velvet hearts.
pairing: bad boy!donghyuck x baker!reader
genre: fluff, slight angst
word count: 7.7k
synopsis: you patch up a boy with a bloody nose and bruised knuckles, only to find out that he has quite the sweet tooth.
authorâs note: why do i keep injuring hyuck in all my fics lmao??? anyways i tried to write his character a bit differently than i usually do to challenge myself so please let me know how you guys like it! also remember, ladies: this is fiction. you cannot fix him <3
warning(s): brief description of injuries, mentions of violence, maximum amounts of cringe and melodrama
playlist: all my ghosts by lizzy mcalpine â heart eyes by coin â close to you by gracie abrams â sidelines by phoebe bridgers â the alchemy by taylor swift
RECIPE 1. TIRAMISU
âThis is not what I meant when I said you need your back blown out.âÂ
âNot funny. I almost died,â you grumble as you wrap the back brace around your torso. You hate the immediate relief you feel from the support it provides, no longer able to tell yourself that itâs really not as bad as it seemsâwhich only makes you angrier.Â
âThrowing your back out while lifting a giant bag of flour and nearly getting crushed to death by said flour is genuinely the funniest fucking thing Iâve ever heard,â Yeri, your best friend (derogatory), snorts as she shakes her head. âI wish you had cameras in the storage room because I want to see that shit so bad.â
âThank you for the brace. You can get the hell out now.â You roll your eyes.Â
âSo, what are you going to do now? Arenât you swamped with orders?â Yeri asks, ignoring you completely.Â
You have no clue what youâre going to do now. It isnât just orders you have to worry about fulfilling; itâs also the freshly baked pastries that you have to sell every morning. After a year of blood, sweat, and tears, the bakery that you built from the ground up is finally starting to gain some stable business. So, of course, you chose now of all times to try to lift a bag of flour over your shoulder like you were Dwayne The Rock Johnson.Â
âI think Iâll have to hire some temporary help,â you answer begrudgingly.Â
âYou could sound less like someone is holding you at gunpoint,â Yeri snorts, âCome on. It had to happen sooner or later anyway.âÂ
âI was handling things just fine on my own.â
âWere you, though?â Yeri raises an eyebrow, gesturing to your current state.Â
You fear you walked right into that one. âShut up and help me make some posters.âÂ
The two of you eventually manage to whip up some haphazard âHelp Wantedâ posters, the letters written in glitter pen and Yeriâs clumsy bubble text. You tried your best to fill in the empty gaps on the construction paper by placing Pompompurin stickers that you normally give to customersâ kids all over it. The posters look like a nine-year-old girlâs school project gone wrong, but you hope itâs charming enough to catch some attention.Â
By the time you and Yeri finish hanging up all the posters, the sun is already starting to set, and all you want to do is go home and put a heating pad on your back. After saying bye to Yeri, you start making your way back to the bakery to lock up. Once you arrive, you notice a figure dressed in black slumped over in front of the door. You can see their shoulders rise up and down as they take in labored breaths, leaning against the glass door for support.Â
Every rational fiber in your being screams at you to not approach the stranger alone, but itâs not like you can just leave this person at the front of your place of business. Cautiously taking a step forward, you squat down to eye level with the stranger, wincing slightly from back pain. Through the sweaty and matted mess of his brown fringe, you can see that the stranger is a young man around your age. However, his face is absolutely battered: bloody (and almost certainly broken) nose, split lip, black eye swollen shut, and a jagged cut on his cheek. If he notices your presence, he doesnât show it, keeping his head hung down.
Gingerly placing a hand on his arm, you give him a small shake. âExcuse me? Are you okay? Do you need me to call an ambulance?âÂ
His brows furrow, and he opens an eye (the only one heâs probably able to open) with a wince before lifting a finger and putting it against his lips. You notice that his knuckles are completely scraped raw.Â
âNot so loud. Iâm okay,â he answers.Â
âYou donât lookââÂ
As if on cue, his stomach rumbles with a guttural growl that slowly drawls into a sputtering gurgle before dying out all togetherâleaving a long silence to hang between the two of you.
After another beat, he gives you a sheepish smile. âYou got anything to eat?âÂ
You stare at him for a moment; his face is flushed, pink all the way down to his neck.Â
And like a stupid horror movie character who opens the door to a room that clearly screams danger, you nod.Â
.
.
.
Fortunately, heâDonghyuck, as he introduced himselfâends up not being a crazy ax murderer.Â
Unfortunately, you find yourself awkwardly sitting in your closed bakery with a virtual stranger, fiddling with a first aid kit while watching him absolutely devour a piece of leftover tiramisu that you had in your fridge. If the situation wasnât so insane, you might actually think it was pretty funny. For someone who looks the way he does, this current picture of Donghyuck absolutely doesnât suit himâbruised chipmunk cheeks stuffed with ladyfingers and cocoa powder stuck on his split lip.Â
When heâs finished, Donghyuck looks over at you with a mesmerized expression on his face, as if you just fed him ambrosia. Thereâs a softness to his face that you didnât think could exist underneath all that grime and dried blood.Â
âThat wasâŚdelicious,â he breathes.Â
âThanks,â you snort, pushing a glass of water towards him. Unsurprisingly, he chugs it in the blink of an eye. âI still think you should get those injuries checked out, though.âÂ
âNah, Iâll rub a little spit in them and itâll be fine,â he shrugs.Â
âDonât be gross,â you sigh, scooting your chair closer to him as you set the first aid kit on the table. âNow, come here.âÂ
Donghyuck reluctantly dips his head, and you carefully cup his jaw for support, disinfecting and applying ointment on the cuts and scrapes on his face. You also clean up the dried blood near his nostrils and on his bottom lip, and he doesnât flinch even when you accidentally brush tender areas like his broken nose or the gash on his mouth. Instead, he stays perfectly still, leaned back in the chair with his forearms resting on his thighs and fingers nonchalantly laced together.Â
He keeps his gaze trained on something past your shoulder, and you also try your best to focus, but itâs hard to keep yourself from staringâespecially when his demeanor has changed so much. Heâs so calm and quiet in such a cold, ruthless manner, as if heâs physically steeling himself from painâlike heâs done this a million times before. Occasionally, you feel his eyes swipe across your face when he thinks youâre not paying attention, and it occurs to you how close the two of you are. Suddenly, youâre acutely aware of the heat of his skin against your palm and fingertips, and you rip your hand away from his jaw.Â
Clearing your throat, you move onto his hands, dabbing his raw knuckles with a cotton ball soaked in alcohol before placing large band-aids on them. Despite your best efforts, itâs hard not to notice how slim his long fingers are or how surprisingly clean his nail beds are for someone whoâs covered in blood. You keep your head completely bent, fighting the urge of looking up and possibly meeting his eyes.Â
âThere, all done,â you announce a little too loudly.Â
âThank you,â he says softly, âfor the cake and for this. For helping me.âÂ
âDonât worry about it. I didnât do much,â you blurt, still avoiding eye contact as you clean up the table. However, you notice in your peripheral that his gaze follows your movements, almost hesitantly, before he asks:Â
âSo, youâre hiring?âÂ
You click the first-aid kit shut, blinking a few times before turning back to him. He looks at you with a raised eyebrow, waiting for an answer.
âIâyeah. How did you know that?â you ask, puzzled by such a random question.Â
Donghyuck points at a poster that you didnât even know you left here, sitting on the table right behind you. You realize that he was probably looking at it while you were patching him up.Â
âThat poster that says âhelp wanted.â With the Pompompurin stickers. Iâm actually in between jobs right now, so if you would have meââ
âYou know Pompompurin?â you interrupt him. Itâs not that important and should not stand out to you as much as it does. Yet, you canât help but grin at the fact that someone like him knows about a tubby Golden Retriever character with a name that sounds like a mashup of the English languageâs most adorable onomatopeias.Â
Donghyuck trails off, stiffening as if you just found out his deepest, darkest secret. He opens his mouth slightly, trying to speak but unable to formulate a responseâan excuse, rather. Instead, he just lets out an airy cough, putting a hand over his mouth and turning away from you in an attempt to obscure his face. Despite his best efforts, he canât hide his glowing red ears and the way his earlier coldness melts away.
âIâyeah,â he responds, words slightly muffled by his hand.Â
You struggle to maintain your composure as you gnaw on your bottom lip to keep from laughing. Fighting a smile in your voice, you finally say:Â
âThe pay wonât be that much, but youâll get a bunch of free desserts at the end of the day. Are you okay with that?âÂ
It takes him a moment to process that youâre offering him the job, and you watch his eyes light up and a warm smile overtake his face. Thereâs still a light shade of pink dusting his cheeks, clashing with the purple bruising and swelling of his injuries.Â
âIâd love nothing more.â
Suddenly, it occurs to you that Donghyuck somewhat reminds you of a tiramisu.Â
He may look a bit rugged and grimey, bitter like coffee, but in actuality, underneath it all, heâs soft and fluffy (but not too sweet) like a mascarpone filling.Â
RECIPE 2. BLUEBERRY PIE
âAre you out of your mind?â
You cringe away from your phone, hurriedly turning the volume down. âDamn, you donât have to scream like that.âÂ
âYou should be the one screaming,â Yeri hollers. âI better not come over one day and find your body stuffed in the freezer or something.â
âI thought you wanted me to hire someone!âÂ
âNot some random dude off the side of the street who was covered in injuries and doesnât even have any baking experience,â Yeri hisses.Â
âI donât need him to bake. I just have him working the front counter and doing all the heavy lifting when I get my ingredient shipments,â you protest. âDid you think I would really just hand over all my orders to some random dude and go party it up in CancĂşn or something?âÂ
Yeri is silent for several seconds before asking, âHeâs hot, isnât he?â
âWhat?â
âSo you did know what I meant when I said you needed your back blown out.â You can hear the smugness in her voice.Â
âYeri,â you say tiredly, âplease be serious.â
âI am serious. Youâre the one being unserious,â she retorts. âYesterday, you acted like you would rather sacrifice your firstborn child before hiring a part-timer, and now look at you. Dickmatized.âÂ
âOkay, Iâm hanging up now.â
âSo, when do I get to meet himââ
You quickly hit the button to end the call and shove your phone into your pocket, letting out an exasperated sigh. You definitely wonât be hearing the end of that for a while. Your face feels warm for some reason, and you decide that you need a coffee break. After you finish making it, you pour yourself and Donghyuck a cup.Â
You peek your head out from the curtain that separates the kitchen and the front counter to see if Donghyuck is busy. Heâs politely chatting with an elderly woman, and your eyes nearly pop out of your head when he takes out the entire tray of egg tarts in the glass display and wraps it up for her. The woman happily hands him a wad of bills and waves him goodbye. After putting the cash in the register, Donghyuck turns around and catches you in the middle of gawking.Â
âOh, Y/N. I was actually just about to head back there. Weâre out of egg tarts for the display,â he says nonchalantly.Â
âUh, yeah, I can see that,â you whisper loudly, âWas that Mrs. Kim? Why the hell did she order a dozen egg tarts? That woman can barely finish a single cookie.âÂ
Donghyuck blinks, clearly confused, whispering back, âShe asked for my recommendation, so I said egg tarts since no one had bought any yet, and she said she would take all of them.âÂ
You pause, things finally clicking. Grinning knowingly, you say, âYou know, having you work the front is doing wonders for sales.âÂ
âI donât understand.â He furrows his brows.Â
You laugh, handing him his cup of coffee. âIâm talking about your face card, Donghyuck. Youâre too handsome, so youâre flustering the customers.âÂ
âAre we not whispering anymore?â he asks awkwardly. âBesides, thatâs not true. Look at the state of my face right now.âÂ
His injuries have faded significantly, but the bruising and cuts are still there. You want to tell him that superficial wounds canât mask the warmth in his caramel-brown eyes, the fullness of his cheeks and the sharp jawline, and the air of mystery that enshrouds him and draws people in.Â
But you donât.Â
âWell, for someone whoâs only been working here for two weeks, youâre doing superb. Injuries or not.âÂ
And itâs true. Youâve always preferred to work alone because youâre the only one who understands how you want things done. You naturally assumed it would be a hassle and a waste of time to try to explain to someone else when you could just do it yourself, but Donghyuck never seems to need an explanation. In fact, he knows before even you.Â
He gets to the bakery three hours before you, cleans and preps all the equipment you need for the day, unloads the ingredient shipments, and is already manning the front counter by the time you arrive like it was no big deal at all. He also seems to have a sixth sense of knowing when youâre about to do something you shouldnât be, even though you downplayed your back injury. Heâs somehow always thereâmoving all the stuff you keep on the top shelf to somewhere within your reach even though you insisted that the rickety wooden step stool you use is perfectly safe, cleaning up a glass beaker that you accidentally shattered, taking out the trash during his breaks, checking in on you when you skip lunch. He even turned down his first paycheck, saying itâs repayment for patching him up and feeding him.Â
Donghyuck is so perfect that sometimes you wonder if youâre being set up, like maybe heâs secretly embezzling money from the cash registerâwhich would be a more viable theory if he didnât drive an Audi to work everyday.Â
âThanks for the compliment. And the coffee,â Donghyuck says, snapping you out of your thoughts. He gingerly takes a sip and makes a strangled noise, a mixture being choking and retching, before slapping a hand over his mouth.Â
âAre you okay? Was it too hot?â you ask worriedly.Â
âNo, itâs justâŚreally bitter,â he mumbles, words muffled in his hand.Â
âOh,â you blink, âSorry. I drink black coffee, so I forgot to ask if you wanted creamer and sugar. Come on, thereâs some in the back.âÂ
The two of you head to the kitchen, and you watch him dump an exorbitant amount of creamer and sugar in his coffee, the dark roast swirling into something more akin to milk tea.
âYou know, there might be some chocolate milk in the fridge if youâd rather that,â you tease.Â
His head shoots up, those doe eyes lighting up. âReally?âÂ
âNo,â you trail off awkwardly, âSorry, I'm just messing with you.âÂ
Itâs a bit adorable that you can visibly see him being disappointed in there not being chocolate milk before growing embarrassed, looking down at his cup. He turns away from you, but you can see the flush on the back of his neck.Â
âYou really have a sweet tooth, huh?â you laugh.Â
âPretty lame, right?âÂ
âWhy would that be lame? Youâre talking to someone who owns a bakery, in case you forgot.âÂ
Donghyuck smiles at you, and itâs sugary sweet like buttercream frosting. He looks at you like you just said the most wonderful thing in the world; in fact, he always makes you feel like that, no matter what you say or do. âI guess youâre right.âÂ
âWhatâs your favorite dessert?â you blurt, needing a distraction urgently.Â
He pauses briefly. âI donât think I have one.â
That actually surprises you. âYou donât? Even though you love sweets so much?âÂ
He laughs, the sound harsh and rough, and it almost makes you flinch. âIâve never really had an opportunity to have many until now.âÂ
Thereâs clearly weight behind his words, but you know youâre not in a position to ask any further. A selfish part of you wants to be important enough to him that you are in a position to know more, but youâre all too aware about him very purposefully keeping you at armâs length.Â
âWell, you have plenty of time to find out,â you quickly continue, pretending not to notice. âActually, Iâm going to a blueberry farm tomorrow because Iâm thinking about adding blueberry pie to the menu. When I get back, Iâll bake one for you, and you can be the first to taste test it!âÂ
âYouâre going by yourself?â Donghyuck raises an eyebrow.Â
âOf course. Who else would I go with?âÂ
âMe. Iâll go with you,â he replies immediately.Â
âBut itâs, like, a forty-five-minute bus ride to the farm. Plus, coming with me to get ingredients isnât part of your job description anyway,â you explain.Â
âI canât come with you on my own free time?â he asks, tilting his head. âBesides, Iâm worried about you overexerting yourself with that back injury. A bumpy bus ride definitely isnât going to help, so Iâll drive us there.âÂ
âYouâre going to drive that fancy ass car to a farm? You do realize itâs going to be dirt roads, right?â You cross your arms.Â
âI think Iâll live. Besides, what makes you think this is the only fancy ass car I own?â He gives you an amused smile.Â
âYouâre joking, right?â You stare at him.Â
He hesitates for a moment. âYes.âÂ
âThat doesnât soundââ
âWhat time are we leaving tomorrow morning?âÂ
â...Seven.â
.
.
.
Unsurprisingly, Donghyuck picks you up right on time, not a minute too early or late. As the universe would have it, it rained the night priorâmeaning all the dirt roads are now rivers of mud. You wince every time you heard a splat of mud hit Donghyuckâs pristine white car, but he seems to pay no mind to it. The two of you arrive at the farm within twenty minutes (he found a shortcut), and because you came so early, you get the entire farm to yourselves. The staff arms both of you with a large wicker basket each before setting you loose onto the massive property.Â
âOkay, make sure to pick the fat ones. The small ones are super tart, so avoid those,â you instruct Donghyuck. âWeâre going to fill these baskets to the brim and get our moneyâs worth.âÂ
âYou got it, Captain.â He salutes.Â
You give him a determined nod and a thumbs up before turning to your respective side and beginning to pick the blueberries. The two of you work without much fanfare or conversation, and itâs a silence that lingers between you comfortably. It reassures you to hear the sound of the bushes rustling from Donghyuck working; his companionship alone relaxes you.Â
Eventually, when the sun starts peeking through and the weather grows warmer, both of you decide to take a break. You find a spot in the shade before sitting down, pulling out snacks and bottles of water from a backpack Donghyuck brought along.Â
âI have a surprise for you,â you tell him, trying to hide a smile. âClose your eyes.âÂ
He eyes you suspiciously but does so anyway. You fish out a handful of unripe blueberries wrapped in a handkerchief from your pocket and feed some to him. His reaction is nearly instant the moment he starts chewing them; you watch as his face puckers up from how sour they are and his entire body shrivels into itself, a shudder running through him. Heâs polite enough to not spit them out, but youâre not polite enough to resist pointing and laughing at him. Throwing your head back, you laugh so hard that your stomach starts to hurt.Â
âOh my God, your face!âÂ
âUgh,â Donghyuck groans, taking a big gulp of his water. âI shouldâve known you had sinister intentions from the start.âÂ
âI didnât think youâd react like that,â you finally manage to say after catching your breath. âYou really canât handle anything except for sweet stuff.âÂ
âAre you having fun bullying me?â He rolls his eyes.Â
âSo much fun,â you say in a sing-song voice.Â
Donghyuck tries to continue feigning annoyance, but he canât help the low chuckle that rumbles in his chest. His eyes always soften when he looks at you, and his gaze is intimate like a loverâsâgentle, tender, unwavering, and vulnerable. But his warmth is always fleeting, and he only allows you glimpses of it through the unmoving walls that heâs erected around himself.Â
You wish he wouldnât indulge you so, terrified youâll try to cross the line heâs drawn between the two of you.Â
âWhat are you thinking about?â Donghyuck asks, trying to read your expression
âAbout the delicious pie Iâm about to make when we get back,â you smile.Â
âI see,â he responds, though itâs clear he isnât convinced. âIâm looking forward to it.â
âYou better be. This is how Iâm paying you back for driving me here,â you nod.Â
âInstead of that, pay me back by telling me what your favorite dessert is,â he suddenly says. âI do still want the pie, though.âÂ
âThat was random,â you snort. âWhy do you want to know my favorite dessert?â
âBecause you asked me, but you never told me yours.âÂ
You suppose he has a point, but you find it ironic that he wants to know more about you when he refuses to offer you even a modicum of information about himself. Despite this, you tell him anyway because you are obviously the fool here.Â
âIf you must know, itâs red velvet cake,â you sigh.Â
âWhy?âÂ
You donât answer at first, carefully thinking about if youâre ready to be vulnerable in front of himâstill a virtual stranger. A virtual stranger who loves sweets. A virtual stranger who is a bit of a messy eater. A virtual stranger who knows Pompompurin. A virtual stranger who worries about you even when heâs not on the clock. A virtual stranger who gently tells you to be careful whenever you try to do something dangerous, whispering, âIâll do it instead.â A virtual stranger who allows his luxury car to be caked in mud for you.Â
âBecause itâs the dessert that made me realize I want to do this for the rest of my life,â you finally say. âI baked it for my momâs birthday, and I think I ended up being more excited than her.âÂ
Donghyuck stays quiet, gauging your reaction.Â
âI was in college, studying to be a doctor like everyone else in my family. So, like a dumb young person who thought that dreams were more important than money, I dropped out of college and went to culinary school. My parents told me I was ruining mine and their lives, disowned me, yada-yadaâa bunch of depressing stuff, you know. Eventually, I graduated, took out a huge loan, and opened up my own bakery. Worked a bunch of part-time jobs until my business could stand on its own. Now here I am. Still in debt, though,â you laugh awkwardly. âBut Iâm not doing too shabby. I was able to hire you, so at least I have a little cash to spare.âÂ
He still doesnât say anything, so you find yourself starting to ramble. Youâre really not sure what possessed you to trauma dump on him like that.Â
âYou know, a lot of people talk shit about red velvet cake because they say the only thing that makes it special is the red food coloring,â you hurriedly explain, âbut thatâs not true. The cream cheese frosting is super important too. Also, I always say love is the most important ingredient of all. As a baker, youâre kind of baring your heart to the customer, and isnât it kind of cute that red velvet cake is red like a heart? Okay, please say something now or else I think Iâm going to projectile vomit.âÂ
Donghyuck reaches over and brushes a sweaty lock of hair out of your face. His fingers brush over your temple, which makes you sharply suck in a breath. You almost lean into his touch, but you catch yourself. His hand slightly lingers on the side of your neck, like he wants to bring your face closer, but he eventually pulls away.Â
He searches your face, and youâre not sure what heâs looking forâif anything. Rather, perhaps heâs not searching. Perhaps heâs committing your features to his memory, as if the way you look right now is something he wants to remember forever.Â
âYouâve worked hard, Y/N,â he says softly, voice slightly hoarse. âThis is long overdue, but congratulations. You achieved your dream, and donât let anyone ever discount that. Not even yourself.âÂ
You wonder how long youâve waited to hear that. Youâre not even sure you knew you needed to hear that. But when Donghyuck says it, it hits you just how long and hard youâve worked all on your own without a single break. Throughout the years, youâve really only ever heard, âIâm sorry that happened.â When was the last time someone congratulated you? When was the last time you congratulated yourself?Â
You surge forward, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and burying your face in his shoulder. Donghyuck cradles you against him, one hand wound tightly around your waist while the other is tangled in your hair. You can feel his chest rise up and down as he holds you. He smells like lavender soap and a bit earthy from being outside, and the warmth of his skin against your cheek makes you want to close your eyes and fall asleep in his arms.Â
âThank you,â you whisper.Â
âNo, thank you,â he murmurs into your hair.Â
Youâre not sure why heâs thanking you instead, but what you are sure of is that youâre crossing the line, taking a step towards him and wondering if heâll meet you halfway.Â
.
.
.
âTada!â you announce cheerfully, setting down the freshly baked blueberry pie onto the table.Â
Donghyuck claps excitedly. âHoly shit, it looks amazing.âÂ
âIâm still trying to figure out the right portions for the filling, so let me know if you think thereâs too much or little,â you tell him as you hand him a slice.Â
Without even answering you, he stabs his fork into the pie and almost eats the entire slice in one bite, seemingly unbothered by the steam still rising from it.Â
âBe careful. Youâre going to burn your tastebuds off. Iâm not letting you eat it for shits and giggles, you know. This is for research purposes.â You cross your arms.Â
âItâs perfect, Y/N. Iâm serious,â Donghyuck says after swallowing. âThe filling isnât too sweet, and the crust is airy and light.âÂ
âWell, alright, Gordon Ramsay. I think weâre going to be adding a new menu item then,â you smile. âThink you can get Mrs. Kim to buy a dozen of these?â
âI donât think sheâll need much convincing with how good these taste.âÂ
âYouâre so easy,â you tease. âAll I need to do is feed you. Anyways, Iâm going to clean up here, but you should head home. Itâs getting late, and you wake up way earlier than me.âÂ
âIâll help,â he insists.Â
âGo,â you order, pointing at the door. âI can handle it.âÂ
He looks conflicted but eventually relents when you threaten to physically kick him out. Before he leaves, he turns back to you and says, âThank you, Y/N.â
âWhy do you keep thanking me?â you laugh.Â
âItâs been a long time since Iâve had this.â
âWhat? A blueberry pie?â
Donghyuck pauses, a slight wonder in his expression, as if heâs realizing his answer for the first time as well.
âPeace.âÂ
And you think maybe this is a step forward for him too.Â
RECIPE 3. CREAM PUFF
Itâs quite surreal how easily and naturally you and Donghyuck fall into a routine together. Somehow, in the blink of an eye, two weeks becomes two months. Youâve learned the little things about him, like how he always swipes some icing before you can fill up the piping bag or that heâs not a coffee drinker at all (more of a hot cocoa person) or that he purses his lips when a dessert heâs testing tastes off (no matter how hard he tries to hide it) or that he involuntarily sticks his arm out in front of you when he wants to stop you from doing something you shouldnât.Â
You also notice that he sometimes comes into work with injuries. Theyâre not nearly as bad as the first time you met him, but itâs hard to ignore a bruised cheek or bloodied knuckles. He always has a reason for them, whether itâs tripping down the stairs or accidentally falling down and scraping his hands on the concrete. You can tell by the way he laughs it off that he doesnât plan on telling you the truth, so you laugh with him. The two of you, having taken only a step towards one another, find yourselves completely immobile now.Â
He always does this: envelops you like a cloud but disappears the moment you reach out for him.Â
Youâre honestly not sure why heâs still here. Your injury has long healed, and he clearly doesnât need the abysmal pay youâre giving him. He feels like heâll slip away at any moment, fleeting like a warm spring breeze, and you suppose time flies by when you know itâs limited. Despite knowing that, you canât help but desperately want him to stay.Â
âI think itâs cute how hard heâs working,â Yeri randomly says one day as she eyes Donghyuck prepare orders in the front. Heâs in the middle of a lunchtime rush, so he doesnât even notice the two of you watching him like weirdos.
âWell, thatâs what Iâm paying him to do,â you reply, rolling his eyes.Â
âOh, I think the money is the least of his worries here,â she hums, taking a sip of her coffee.Â
She has a point, but youâre pretty sure sheâs implying something else as well. Just as you go to ask her what exactly she means, you hear a loud clatter. Flinching, you turn your attention back to Donghyuck and realize that heâs dropped a tray on the floor. However, the tray is the last thing on your mind when you see the expression on his face. Itâs a mixture of horror, anger, and almost sadnessâlike heâs finally come face-to-face with whatever heâs been running from. It makes your blood run cold.Â
Donghyuck is looking at a boy around his age; the boy has dark hair, a mole under his eye, and a grim expression. More importantly, heâs covered in injuries too.Â
âWho is that?â Yeri whispers. âWhy does Donghyuck look like heâs seen a ghost?âÂ
Maybe because he has, you want to tell her.Â
Donghyuck grabs the boy's arm, squeezing so tightly that his knuckles turn white, and mumbles something to him. When he turns around and meets your eyes, he looks pained and fearful as if you witnessed something you shouldnât have.
âIs it okay if I take my break early today?â he asks calmly, though the tremor in his voice gives him away.Â
You nod hesitantly, unable to force yourself to speak. You watch him as he drags the boy out; when he passes you, you can tell how tightly his body is wound right now. His jaw is clenched, a muscle spasming as he tries to control himself, and every step he takes seems labored. Heâs running on pure adrenaline right now, like heâs physically steeling himself.Â
However, you donât think heâs ever appeared so incredibly alone before. As you watch his back disappear further and further from your view, youâre unsure if heâll ever return, and you never imagined how terrifying that would be.Â
.
.
.
The cream puffs arenât rising.
Youâre crouched in front of the oven, watching the dough remain flat and lifeless. You shouldâve known better than to attempt to make cream puffs on such a shitty day, especially when pastries like these are so sensitive to the environment and atmosphere. Even though you know you should probably just scrap them and try again, you wait for just a little longer, hoping that maybe if you wish hard enough that theyâll magically start to rise.Â
But then again you suppose that no matter how hard you try, no matter how careful you are, no matter how perfect the batter is, no matter how much time you spend time piping them, no matter how much you want them to rise, they wonât.Â
You decide that Donghyuck isnât like a tiramisu at all; heâs sensitive and delicate and elusive and frustrating like a cream puff.Â
âY/N, theyâre burning.âÂ
Losing your balance and nearly falling over, you gasp loudly. You were so lost in your thoughts that you didnât even hear Donghyuck walk into the kitchen, nor did you smell the undeniable scent of something being burnt to a crisp.Â
âOh, fuâ!â you curse, hurriedly opening the oven and casually suffocating both you and Donghyuck with a hot plume of air. Sputtering, you look around and grab a random rag from the sink before reaching for the cream puffs.Â
âWait, stop!â Donghyuck stops you with an outstretched arm, his hand pressed to your side. âLet me do it.âÂ
He gently takes the rag from your hand and removes the tray of charred cream puffs from the oven, dumping them into the trash before putting the tray in the sink and running some water on itâjust how you like it.Â
Letting out a relieved sigh, he turns back to you and asks, âAre you okay? Itâs not like you to make a mistake like that. You didnât get burned anywhere, did you?âÂ
When you donât answer immediately, Donghyuck rushes forward and grabs your hands, carefully examining your fingers and arms. âWait, are you hurt? Where? Tell me where you got burned. We have to cool it down with some lukewarm water. And donât just say youâre fine. Burns are not a joke, Y/Nâwhy are you looking at me like that?âÂ
His hands are calloused and rough, and you can still see scabs from where he tore his knuckles, yet he touches you like youâre the delicate one. Heâs covered in fresh and old wounds, yet he looks so panicked at the thought of you having a scratch.Â
âShut up,â you whisper furiously, ripping your hands away from him. âFrom now on, donât ask me another question. Itâs my turn to ask you questions.âÂ
He blinks, a bit stunned by your reaction, but itâs clear he knows what youâre about to say. He goes to reach for you again but decides against it. âOkay.âÂ
âWho was that guy?â you demand. âWhy are you always covered in injuries? Why did you lie to me? Who are you?âÂ
âHeâs an old friend,â Donghyuck starts quietly.Â
âDo you treat all your friends like that?âÂ
âWhen I donât want to see them.âÂ
You wait for him to continue.
âBefore I met you, he and I and a few of our other friends workedâŚodd jobs for cash,â he explains, and he looks like heâs choking on every word. âThe jobs usually entailed us hurting people and also getting hurt. I did a lot of shit I wasnât proud of. At the time, I didnât really care. It was just nice to feel something, whether it was the adrenaline rush from doing the punching or the pain from being punched. I got a bunch of money, bought a bunch of expensive stuff, but none of it mattered. Eventually, I just felt nothing again. I didnât even have the energy to loathe myself anymore. So, I took one last job, got the shit kicked out of me, and then I left. Thatâs when you found meââ
He inhales, and his eyes flicker towards you. He gazes at you so longingly, as if you were impossibly out of his reach, that you canât help but involuntarily take a step towards him.Â
But he steps back.Â
âI thought that working here would make me feel like a human being again, but I didnât realize how much I wouldââ He pauses again. âI thought working here would be a nice reset for me, but I naively thought that I could completely leave my past behind. My friends eventually found me, and I guess I care about those reckless assholes more than I thought because they managed to convince me to take on a few more jobs with them. Thatâs why Iâve been coming to work with injuries. But Iâm done. I cut them off for good when they walked into this bakery. I donât wantâŚI donât want our past to tarnish this place. I want to keep this place a beautiful, warm, and pure safe haven that you worked so hard for it to be. Thatâs why I lied to you, Y/N. Iâm a coward to the bone, and I was envious of you. I was ashamed to admit it to you. You, who had the courage to chase after your dream. You, who had the kindness to help a good-for-nothing asshole like me. I only want you to have happy memories from now on, and I am not one of them.âÂ
âAre you going to leave?â you ask softly.Â
âI probably should,â he answers shakily.Â
âWhatâs stopping you?âÂ
âJustâŚone reason.âÂ
âWhen you say it like that, it makes it sound like the reason is me.âÂ
Donghyuck laughs bitterly, and his eyes drag across your face like every movement hurts him.
âYou know itâs you. Itâs always been you.âÂ
When you reach for his hand, he turns away like just the warmth from your body heat burns him. So instead, you take a step back.Â
âI wonât ask you to stay, Donghyuck, I wonât chase you. Iâm going to wait right here, and itâs up to you if you're going to meet me halfway.âÂ
RECIPE 4. RED VELVET CAKE
When your alarm clock goes off the next morning, you seriously consider just not showing up to work. Itâs not like you can be fired for being a no-show when youâre your own boss, after all.Â
And itâs not like you have any employees who will be expecting you.Â
Youâll just apologize to Mrs. Kim and your other regulars later. Youâre allowed to have a day where you just rot in bed and feel sorry for yourself.Â
However, no matter how much you tell yourself that, you find yourself crawling out of bed and getting ready anyway. You canât seem to brutally crush that small glimmer of hope that Donghyuck might still be there, no matter how hard you try. When you see yourself in the mirror, you recoil in horror. Your eyes are almost swollen shut from the amount of crying you did last night, and your face is sallow and lifeless.Â
So much for putting on a brave face, you think wryly to yourself. You tried so hard to look tough, when in reality, you bawled your eyes out and even considered praying to God for Donghyuck to stay. Itâs a humiliating and humbling reality check.Â
âStand up right now,â you sharply tell yourself in the mirror. âHeâs just some guy. Get it together.âÂ
You do your best to clean up your appearance and make the trek over to the bakery. It takes another internal pep talk before you can make your way to the door. After you finally walk up, you see that the lights inside are off. Your stomach sinks, and your eyes start to burn. Even though youâre holding the handle, you canât bring yourself to open the door. Itâs an outcome that you expected, yet you wonder why it hurts so badly.Â
âYou liar,â you mumble to yourself, âYou said you only wanted me to have happy memories.âÂ
Once you make your way inside, you numbly head towards the kitchen, trying to remember what exactly you have to do today. Oh right, now that heâs not here, you also have to make sure all the ingredients are prepped first.Â
When you walk into the kitchen, you do a double-take.Â
The whole place looks like itâs been completely ransacked: used pans and utensils piled up in the sink, two opened boxes of cake mix, containers of ingredients without lids on on the tables, random lumps of flour and egg shells strewn aboutâÂ
And right in front of the oven is Donghyuck, flour in his hair and frosting on his nose. Heâs holding a cake stand withâŚyou think itâs supposed to be a cake on it? The shape is mangled and haphazardly cut, but it has echoes of a heart. The frosting is a hot mess, as if a bird with diarrhea shat all over the cake. The batter is clearly underbaked and makes the cake look gooey in a bad way.Â
âUm, I promise Iâll clean all of this up in a second, but I wanted to surprise you,â Donghyuck starts awkwardly. âItâs not perfect, but I tried making a red velvet cake for you.âÂ
You stare at him, still not sure how to react.Â
âYou once said that baking is like baring your heart to the customer and that love is the most important ingredient of all,â he laughs softly to himself. âI think love is the only ingredient I managed to get right, but Iâm baring my heart to you now, Y/N. Iâm sorry I hid everything and lied to you, but Iâm in love with you. Hopelessly so. All my life, Iâve chased a feeling, not knowing what it was. But now I do. I donât think I knew how to feel until I met you. I never once thought I would ever have a purpose in my life, but you make me want to be a normal, proper member of society. Your dream is my dream. I want to wake up at 5AM and sell egg tarts with you for the rest of my life, if youâll have me.âÂ
Donghyuck sets the cake down on a table in front of you, and you notice that his fingers are dyed red from the food coloring. It almost reminds you of when you first met him, except his injuries have been replaced with red food coloring, flour, and cream cheese frosting.Â
âThis cake is terrible,â you smile, âhow did you butcher it that badly when you used cake mix?âÂ
You watch him blush all the way down to his neck, as he sheepishly looks away. âDonât make fun of me. I really tried my best. I stayed up watching tutorialsââÂ
Leaning across the table, you cup his face with both hands and kiss him, brushing your thumbs across his cheekbones. He tastes like frosting, hot cocoa, and your prayers being answered. The way he kisses you back is bruising, dizzying and knocking any coherent thought out of your head, his hands finding your hips and anchoring you to him. He kisses you like youâre the sweetest and most wonderful thing heâs ever tasted.
When you finally pull away, it takes you a moment to regain feeling in your legs. Donghyuck presses his forehead against yours, lips brushing against yours once again as the two of you try to catch your breath.Â
âI think Iâm going to have to fire you, though,â you whisper. âYou know, with me being your boss and all. The power dynamic is too weird.âÂ
He hums, pausing for thought. âThen how about I become your business partner?âÂ
âWhat?â
Donghyuck reaches into his pocket and fishes out his wallet, pulling out a shiny and fancy-looking credit card. He hands it to you without much fanfare.Â
âI have a lot of money, you know. So Iâm going to invest in your business. Use it as youâd like,â he casually announces.
You stare at him, your jaw hanging wide open. He never tried to hide from you that he was rich, but he never told you that he was rich rich.Â
âWell, damn! Why didnât you show me this earlier? I would have forgiven you a lot sooner,â you tease, slapping him on the arm. âAre you sure you want to give this to me? Iâm quite the gold-digger, you know.â
âWhen I told you to use it as youâd like, I meant me as well,â Donghyuck replies, shrugging.
âYouâre insane.â You hope he canât tell how much your face is burning up.Â
âI guess I am,â he laughs, and you donât think heâs ever looked so free. You want to tell him that you hope he only has happy memories from now on too. You want to tell him that youâll rewrite all of his scars with sugary and fluffy desserts so that they wonât ever hurt again.Â
And for the first time in your life, you feel it too.
Peace.Â
EXTRA
âSo, have you figured out what your favorite dessert is?âÂ
Donghyuck stirs slightly, groaning, as he wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you closer. He slips his hand under your shirt (well, technically itâs his shirt) and rests it on your bare hip bone.Â
âWhy arenât you asleep?âÂ
âBecause Iâm curious.âÂ
âIf I answer, will you let me rest?â
âDepends on how good your answer is.âÂ
âBlueberry pie. Thatâs my answer.âÂ
You smile against the crook of his neck.Â
âWhy?âÂ
âBecause itâs the dessert that made me realize I want to do this for the rest of my life.âÂ
#nct imagines#nct scenarios#haechan fluff#haechan angst#nct dream fluff#nct dream angst#nct 127 fluff#nct 127 angst#nct 127 imagines#haechan#nct#choerrypuffs
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MATCH MY FREAK
Max Verstappen x Heiress! reader
You have a reputation for being high maintenance, Max thinks youâre perfect (oneshot)
Authorâs Note: if you canât tell I have major writers block on my kill bill series⌠this is why you plan folks! Iâve kinda written myself into a corner. However, I love doing these lil oneshots so hereâs another :)
â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘
MESSAGES
yourusername just posted on instagram
liked by lewishamilton, maxverstappen1, and 5,234,432 others
yourusername : mom, i am a rich man
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user1 : a rich man yet all your exes say you bleed them dry
â user3 : at that point itâs a skill issue⌠if they knew they couldnât keep up they shouldnât have started dating her
â user1 : you females will defend each other no matter how in the wrong you are. â user3 : not fighting with a dude who calls women females
âuser1 : lmao cause you know youâre wrong
user5 : I think oomf on twitter was right, she likes lavish things so she buys them and the men in her life are threatened.
â maxverstappen1 : couldnât be me Iâm very secure in my masculinity!
â user5 : MAX VERSTAPPEN!!!!??????
â user6 : what is bro doing here
â user8 : y/nâs freshly single and brother decides to shoot his shot lmao đ¤Łđ¤Ł
â user1 : brother run away whilst you can sheâll only drain your energy and your bank account.
â maxverstappen1 : me and my bank account can handle it
carlossainz55 : bro @maxverstappen1 thank you for lending me that 5 million euros after I lost my job! â maxverstappen1 : the least I can do brother!
landonorris : Max Verstappen let me win the Miami gp! â maxverstappen1 : No bro it was all you!
georgerussell63 : hey dude @maxverstappen1 when do you want me to return that lambo you lent me?
â maxverstappen1 : of course you can just keep it!
charles_leclerc : max verstappen saved my mother and my dog from my burning yacht, then gave me his spare yacht cause he felt bad!
â maxverstappen1 : no worries say hi to pascale and Leo for me!
danielricciardo : Max Verstappen is the most passionate lover Iâve ever had!
â maxverstappen1 : bro what? â maxverstappen1 : this is not true!
â user6 : lmao Dan I donât think you did this correctlyâŚ
âdanielricciardo : I only speak the truth đ¤
maxverstappen1: oh what a coincidence I am also a rich man, we should talk about our similarities over dinner
lewishamilton : catch flights not feelings
â yourusername : so right lew đ¤
MESSAGES
TWITTER
INSTAGRAM
yourusername just posted
liked by maxverstappen1, lewishamilton, and 4,324,367 others
yourusername : is somebody gonna match my freak?
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user23 : isnât the saying like luxury whispers or something?
â yourusername : why should I whisper? My people deserve to be luxurious loudly!
lewishamilton : I actually have the perfect person to âmatch your freakâ heâs equally as weird as you
â yourusername : đ¤¨đ¤¨đ¤¨ Iâm all ears
â maxverstappen1 : me me me!! Heâs talking about me
MESSAGES
A YEAR LATER ⢠INSTAGRAM
maxverstappen1 just posted
liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc and 8,234,432 others
maxverstappen1 : I MATCHED HER FREAK!!
view all comments
yourusername : yeah you did baby!!
danielricciardo : that should be me đđ
â yourusername : stop trying to steal my man!
â danielricciardo : he was mine first!!
â user42 : this dynamic is everything
user44 : max actually bagged a baddie??
â user56 : theyâre gunna divorce in like 2 years once he realises sheâs too high maintenanceâŚ
â maxverstappen1 : NUH UH
lewishamilton : for the role I played any children you have should be named LewisâŚ
â maxverstappen1 : you extorted me!
â lewishamilton : I helped you get the girl!
â yourusername : yeah max, was I not worth the extortion??
â maxverstappen1 : what no, of course you were! Iâd be extorted 1 million times for you!
â user65 : wow they really do match each others freakâŚ
â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘
TAGLIST
@forevercaffeinated-lee
@callsignwidow
@a-beaverhausen
@emryb
@c0deincrazy
@dontworryaboutitokie
@c-losur3
@chuxk-lerclerk
@silkenthusiasts
@ietss
@sp1rl
#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen x you#max verstappen x black!reader#max verstappen smau#f1 smau#f1 fic#max verstappen fic#f1 x reader#x reader#fem reader#formula 1 smau#formula one smau#f1 fanfic#max verstappen imagine
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The way olderbf!simon and reader met is so cute even if itâs cliche, because I donât see that man interacting with anyone unless heâs forced to lmao. If youâre up to it, could you maybe do a drabble on how the beginning/talking stage of their relationship goes? This man probs has to rehearse what heâs going to say 25 times (literally me) and still fumbles over his words but reader is still just đ yes this is the man Iâm going to marry
they definitely needed a meet cute to me cause honestly? where are their paths ever going to cross without manual intervention? đŤśđź
after you get that âitâs simonâ text from older bf!simon itâs you that actually has to make the first move.
thatâs not to say he doesnât text you or anything, god when doesnât he text you?
at all odd hours and just about anything-
âat the supermarketâ
âwhat you watching? iâm watching top gearâ
âwhatâs your favourite colour?â
âiâm at the gymâ
you were a little confused at first by how abrupt and to-the-point his messages could be.
and then you remembered that this was the same guy who prefers a grunt to the common conversation, he probably thought he was doing great.
so when you were getting in your own head about why he hadnât asked you out yet, you also remembered that this was the same guy who thought he could fuck up a cappuccino.
he was probably- scared?
whatever it was, you realised if you wanted to see him as bad as you did, you were going to have to pony up and ask yourself.
âdid you want to maybe get dinner sometime?â
he called you.
no sooner had the âseenâ shown up, he was calling you.
âuh, hello? simon?â
âare yâforreal?â
excuse me?
if anyone else had asked you that question you probably wouldâve scoffed and hung up.
he was lucky he was so hunky.
and subtly insecure.
âyes, iâd like to get dinner with youâ
he paused, a quiet moment passing between the two of you with only a little shuffling in the background of his line.
and a little shouting in the distance.
was he on base?
âyes pleaseâ
youâd been a little distracted trying to pick any little bits of information you could (more than just his favourite colour, itâs green by the way) that you didnât get his response.
instead, you hummed a little âhuh?â
âiâd like tâget dinner withâya, yes pleaseâ
âoh- great, i can text you some details?â
âyeah, iâd like thatâ
you werenât really sure how to end the call or why heâd even called in the first place- but he wrapped it up with a few mumbles.
âjusâ wanted to hear yâsay it, wanted tâmake sureâ
he shows up at dinner without a mask on and youâre sure youâre staring up at him like heâs made of moonlight but you canât find it within yourself to care.
fuck heâs handsome.
and broad, the buttoned shirt heâs wearing just stretches over his arms where heâs rolled the sleeves to his elbows.
borderline pornographic.
you try to shut your own mind up, realising all the manâs done is open the restaurant door for you and youâre literally have salacious thoughts about him.
have some decorum!
he pulls out your seat for you but insists on sitting with his back to a wall and a line of sight to the door. you donât mind, it means the light behind him virtually makes him glow.
fuck heâs handsome.
his voice is so deep you have to lean in on the table to hear him and all it means is you can smell his cologne and feel the heat radiating off of him.
when he locks eyes with the waiter he does a subtle little flick of his fingers and the manâs heading right for him- he really exudes an air of dominance.
if you donât marry this man you might die.
he asks you a lot of questions and seems genuinely surprised when you ask âand you?â after every one.
surprised that somebody would care.
he answers with an endearing honesty and you feel all the better for knowing he prefers tea to coffee and starts his day with a cold shower.
his hand fidgets on the table part way through dessert and you have to ask whatâs wrong.
âyâgot a little somethinâ thereâ
he gestures to the corner of his mouth. it isnât lost on you that his fingers immediately go back to flexing around the table cloth.
your hand doesnât even move to wipe your mouth, your eyes soften just a little as you speak instead.
âyou can get it if you want?â
his heart all but stops.
big hand rising to your face, fingers cupping your jaw as his thumb wipes the smudge of cream from the corner of your mouth.
he brings his thumb to your mouth when your tongue peeks out to lick the tip of it.
simonâs knee hits the underside of the table.
and you giggle.
fuck heâs handsome.
reluctantly, he lowers his hand but leaves it on your side of the table so you can hold it. his skin feels rough but he thinks itâs never been softer than when youâre holding it.
you both opt to walk home (hand still in hand) and youâve never felt safer. you spend the entire walk talking about nothing and everything and you could scream when you end up at your front door.
it does allow you both to linger, neither one of you wanting to call it a night quite yet.
simon seems good at lingering, at yearning, at putting off what he doesnât and does want.
so, like you were the one to make the first move-
youâre the one to make the second.
(his tongue feels great on yours)
you go to bed alone that night and it makes the most sense but it also fucking sucks because you know-
you know what you want.
and what you want is currently walking home beneath streetlights with the biggest smile heâs had this side of enlistment.
you accept the fact youâll need to take things slow, that he obviously needs time and a lot of reassurance and youâd hate to push him too far with your own desire and-
and your phone buzzes.
âcoffee tomorrow morning?â
âyes pleaseâ
the talking stage really doesnât last long.
not when youâre kicking your feet in bed and hugging your phone to your chest.
not when johnny texts simon asking how the date went and heâs responding ânot bad, might be in loveâ
talking stage doesnât last long but everything else does.
itâs simply a doorway into a long and happy life.
#god heâs so lovely#HE IS SO LOVELY I LOVE HIM YOUR HONOUR#older bf!simon#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley x reader
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Lando Norris and [Y/n] Wolff are an on-and-off thing, fans think they're all good after [Y/n] releases a song supposedly about Lando, but they forget he's not the only Brit on the grid.
username1 HE LAUGHS AT ALL MY JOKES
âłusername2 AND HE SAYS I'M SO AMERICAN
username3 sorry but in which part is y/n american?
âłusername1 her mother, Y/m/n Y/l/n, is American and Y/n spent most of her life in the US after Y/m/n and Toto divorced
username3 oooh good to know, thank you!!
username4 I'm so happy to know Y/n and Lando are still together after all
âłusername5 But they were never official
username4 But it's obvious! They were seen on dates many times, hanging out around Monaco, not to mention every time Y/n is in the paddock she spends more time in the McLaren garage than Mercedes'
username6 my fav nepo baby <3
username7 damn Lando must be doing a good job lol
username8 Y/n finally released a love song, everybody thank Lando
username9 Weren't there rumours about them being over forever just during the winter break?
âłusername10 Toto would find a way to get Lando kicked out of F1 if he ever broke Y/n's heart lmao
username9 What does Toto gotta do with McLaren?
username10 He's rich? Lol
username9 And? Stroll's daddy is rich as well yet he can't make idk Verstappen disappear lol rich doesn't mean he can do anything he wants
username11 Guys I have a bad feeling, we actually haven't seen them together in a long time , I'm afraid they might be actually broken up for good
âłusername6 I wouldn't read too much into it, Y/n studies in Monaco so she isn't able to attend races right now
username11 You sure? Y/n hasn't made a single appearance since the season started
username6 The season started in the middle of her uni year lol you ever thought of that?
âłusername7 this is literally a love song, how are we even wondering if they broke up? she wouldn't release this if they were done
username6 THIS!! I feel like this song is a confirmation from Y/n that all is good, maybe she was tired of people talking if they're broken up or not
username5 Then why don't they make it official?
username6 that's not a question i can answer
username12 "I'll go anywhere he goes" then why aren't you attending races miss girl? Education can wait
âłusername2 lmao it literally can't wait
username13 "the books you read" ma'am, Lando looks like he hasn't touched a single book his whole life
âłusername12 And it's not like he dresses that well either, his style is nothing special
¡ ¡ ââââââ ¡đĽ¸Âˇ ââââââ ¡ ¡
y/n's texts with Lando
¡ ¡ ââââââ ¡đĽ¸Âˇ ââââââ ¡ ¡
username1 All men are the same I swear
âłusername2 nooo I swear there are good ones, but that's just not Lando
username3 excuse me sir, y/n has just written a love song about you
username4 NOOOO THE WAY HE PUT HIS HAND ON THE GIRL'S LOWER BACK
âłusername1 Him and Y/n are done frfr đ
username5 Do we know who the girl is?
âłf1gossip Not yet, but I'm sure we'll know in no time
username6 Wtf is wrong with you, it's not her fault Lando can't focus on one woman
username7 But there's no way she didn't know about him and Y/n ;)
username6 There is/was no "Lando and Y/n", they never confirmed a relationship
username8 He's just won in Miami, I was hoping they'd make it official after that :(
âłusername9 Sameeee it would be so cool
âłusername10 Literally same, it'd be perfect
username11 Lando Norris, you disappoint me again
âłusername12 at this point Y/n must be used to that lmao poor girl I hope she finds someone better
username13 WHAT DOES TOTO SAY ABOUT IT?
âłusername3 Whats he supposed to say? Y/n is a grown woman, stop treating her like a baby
username14 I swear if we see Y/n back again with him after THIS I'm gonna break some dishes
âłusername15 Yeah I hope she'll find some self respect and finally leave his ass
username16 Y/n I beg you to leave him, the d can't be THAT fire
yn_wolff posted on instastory
landonorris replied to your story:
âłmind if i join?
yn_wolff:
yeah lol don't join
landonorris:
i was gonna sail today anyway, what if we do it together?
hey i think i see u thru my window who are u with?
yn_wolff:
with dad and susie
stalker ass creep don't get anywhere near me today
landonorris:
I see another man
who is he?
*seen*
y/n answer me who is he
is that russell?
fucking russell wtf is he doing there
he better keep his hands away from you
what the fuck why are u hugging him
yn_wolff:
i'm hugging george and I'll do something worse if you don't stop with ur stalker shit
landonorris:
what the fuck do you mean y/n
yn_wolff:
don't worry, I'm sure that blonde girl would love to give you a hug, you should go see her
landonorris:
she's just a friend
y/n you're mine
she doesn't mean shit to me
don't show my texts to russell
yn_wolff:
Hello it's George, stop texting my girlfriend or we'll have to tell Toto
landonorris:
girlfriend?
username1 Right after? The Lando thing was yesterday
âłf1gossip Yeah, and this was this morning
username2 Whats Y/n doin with George? đ¤¨
âłusername3 in case you forgot she's y/n WOLFF, the daughter of Mercedes' boss which GR drives for
username4 After seeing Y/n's story I hoped she's finally spending some time with Lando but...
âłusername5 Have u seen what Lando posted? đ
username4 What did he post?
username5 Oh apparently he deleted it already lol it was a story
username5 Anyway he posted like a lowkey thirst trap pic and the music he added was Tumblr girls by g eazy lmao
username4 Boohoo consequences of his own actions catching up
username5 Yeahh and he especially chose the verse that goes like "fucking off and on, always stop and go, probably got someone, choose not to know"
username6 Guys, I say we take in consideration the possibility of 'so american' being about George
landonorris Monaco weekend đ˛đ¨â
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username1 Why do I feel like he posted this just so people think Y/n was there with him even though there's not a single pic of her? đ
âłusername2 Bro why he want her when he can't have her anymore?
username3 get over it, it's your fault
username4 I feel like he's tryna say "Hey guys look, Y/n took these pics" but why would we believe it đ
âłusername1 Exactly!! We all KNOW she most likely spent the day with George
username5 Now all i think about when i see Lando is the story he deleted đ
âłusername6 totally hahah he literally called Y/n a bitch but also admitted that he can't help wanting other girls
username7 Wait when did this happen? When did he say that?
username6 he never said that, it's lyrics of a song he posted but quickly deleted
username5 He immediately regretted hahah
username8 @/maxfewtrell Tell Lando to behave, why are you even helping him with this bullshit?
username9 It's too late, you had your chance FOR HALF A YEAR and still chose to lead Y/n on, now she got someone else and you're being petty
âłusername10 She let him lead her on for half a year? Damn it he should pay for her therapy
username9 I feel like she really hoped she can change him but realized "if you can't change the man, change the man"
username10 Very accurate lmao
username11 Guys, I believe Y/n and Lando were a thing for much more time than half a year, it was going on for at least a year, they were just very secretive about it
username9 Well, good for her to finally get out of this shit, she deserves so much better and I hope George will give her that
username1 I bet Toto loves his new son in law
âłusername2 He has to be very relieved to know Y/n chose George eventually
username3 We still don't know if they're dating, remember George drives for Mercedes
username4 I really hope Lando is crying rn
username5 Now Lando for sure can't trick us into thinking Y/n was with him lmao
username6 I love George for saving Y/n
username7 I love them, they're all so old money, Y/n and George are a great match
username8 MY DELULU IS BECOMING TRULULU
username9 This is our confirmation that so american is about George
username10 I feel like Y/n upgraded at some point but at one point also downgraded
âłusername2 Let's not talk about it, we should be happy for her and George, at least he won't treat her like an option
username11 George is literally THE MAN for Y/n, I'm so glad she finally realized that
âłusername12 Chill, let's not assume stuff before we have any statement from them, we all know where assuming can get us
username13 This is my old money dream
username14 HEAR ME OUT but I'd actually love to see George and Y/n get married one day
âłusername12 THIS is exactly where assuming can get us
yn_wolff Oh you'll like him, he's really kind andhe's funny like you sometimes, and I found someone I really like maybe for the first time
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username1 I'm so happy for them I'm gonna cry
lewishamilton Invite me next time!
âłgeorgerussell63 Toto said it was family only, I'm sorry, Lewis!
âłyn_wolff Ask Ferrari to invite you wtf
username1 lmao only Y/n Wolff can talk to a 7 times world champion like that
username2 YESSSS IT'S OFFICIAL
âłusername1 Y/n is officially free from Lando!!
username3 I love the vibes, I love the fact that Y/n is dating a driver from her dad's team, I love the fact that Toto accepts it
âłusername4 He must've been going CRAZY when Y/n had the situationship with Lando
username3 Absolutely and I think we all know about Toto's anger issues lol
susie_wolff đ
âłyn_wolff đŠˇ
ymn_yln I hope George knows he's welcome in America too đ
âłyn_wolff Of course!! We have a plane on Fridayâ¤ď¸
âłgeorgerussell63 I wanted to take Y/n to Miami so we can visit after the GP, but she refused đ
yn_wolff Shut up I have uni!!
georgerussell63 It can't be more important than me meeting your mum
lilymhe Beautiful couple đ
âłyn_wolff @/susie_wolff it's about you and dadđ
lilymhe Might as well be đ
username3 Susie and Toto literally are Y/n and George in like 20 years lmao
alex_albon Finally, no more secrets
âłusername2 ALBONO KNEW?
username4 Phew I can't imagine how much stress it was for him đ
username5 George just MIGHT be the guy which so american is about...
username6 Something about this relationship makes me feel so at peace and I don't even know them in person
charles_leclerc Someone check on Landođ
âłyn_wolff Charles đ
username5 Is he wrong tho
username7 I laughed harder than I should've
âłusername8 Betting all my money he's regretting all his actions
username9 As he should tbh imagine leading sb on for about a year, people who do this are evil
username8 Yeah, that was so wrong of him
username10 No but I need to know what books George reads tho
landonorris đ
âłyn_wolff Stalker ass you don't even follow me
âłusername4 THE AUDACITY
landonorris I hope you'll have fun while it lasts
âłyn_wolff YOU'RE the one to speak about lasting
âłgeorgerussell63 Not your place to worry about itđ
username5 THE EMOJI MAKES IT SO FUNNY FOR NO REASON
username1 "THE WAY YOU DRESS, THE BOOKS YOU READ" he dresses wellâ
he looks like he readsâ
username2 He's the perfect man for Y/n frfr
username3 I'm so happy that it's not about Lando after all, I was like girl he's treating you like shit and you write a love song??
username4 I've been waiting for it for YEARS
username5 So they had a thing for no longer than since the end of winter break and already made it official
âłusername2 Something Lando couldn't do for almost a whole ass year lmao
username6 But have y'all noticed how obsessed with Y/n Lando is suddenly?
âłusername1 of course he is, that's how it works, he's been rejected so his fragile ego is hurt
username3 He's even liking fans' edits of Y/nđman is manifesting hard but I doubt anything can help him
username7 Good to know George's hands are warmer than hell, they don't look like it
username8 Girlie deserved a man who doesn't have commitment issues aka is a real man, I'm glad she got him
username9 Y'all think Lando reads Y/n x reader fanfics?đ
âłusername1 Totally
âłusername2 I can imagine it
âłusername3 He'll do it until his delulu becomes trululu (it'll never happenđĽ)
username10 I'll laugh so hard if now Lando will now stop fooling around with other girls đ
username11 Can't wait for a whole album full of love songs about him
âłusername12 I don't think we'll have to wait for long
#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 fanfic#formula 1 x reader#f1 smau#f1 social media au#george russel x reader#George Russell imagine#George Russell smau#George Russell social media au#Lando Norris x reader#Lando Norris imagine#Lando norris smau#Lando norris social media au
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