#what is wrong with me i feel SO BAD IT'S ALL I EVER SAY LMAO šŸ˜­šŸ˜­
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starmapz Ā· 16 hours ago
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you know, i wasn't going to make a post about this so as not to give this anon the satisfaction of a response, but they've been blocked so they won't see this anyway and i think there's a bigger issue to address here.
i want to start by saying that i've got thick skin and this doesn't affect me in the way they clearly would like it to. it says much more about them than it does about me and i've got bigger fish to fry than some insecure anon.
what i DO want to address is the fact that i've seen more and more posts popping up lately about how some people need to be nicer to authors and while this applies not just to authors but to everyone, i do feel it's worth mentioning that in all honesty i'm glad this came to me and not someone who may be put down by a message like this. i know the anon button tends to make some people much more bold but if at any point you ever think of sending anon hate to someone, maybe take a moment to consider how foolish of a notion that is.
on the topic of authors in particular, please bear in mind that we do this for free, in our spare time. i work a full time job, this is just a fun hobby for me. imagine if you shared your hobby with the world and someone anonymously told you it was bad, how would that make you feel? i'm quite fortunate that this sort of thing doesn't get to me but that doesn't make it any nicer of a message.
on a much lighter and somewhat unrelated note, i also received a very nice text from a wrong number around the same time as i read this message, so i think they cancel one another out lmao. just thought that was funny.
anyway, sorry for the much more serious post than my usual content, but please, as a reminder, be nice to authors, and for that matter be nice to everyone. you never know what someone else is going through, and even if you do, it's no excuse to be hateful or rude.
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teruwasright Ā· 8 hours ago
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Omg tyy!!!! Idk I feel bad sometimes bc I ramble very easily especially about Teru lmao also your words are so sweet and mean a lot!!!! I try my best to understand Teru's character both on surface and on the much deeper level- so it means a lot ty!!
I could say the same about you honestly bc your takes are so good and I really couldn't have said it better!! I agree with everything you said bc something about Teru's character that people fsr OUT RIGHT IGNORE is his EFFORT!!
People always say Teru was "abusive" ect to Kou but he never was- something that I noticed in chps9-10 (young exorcist arc) is how Teru NEVER shut Kou up like people say he did- Teru listened, he gave his view and made him think of the possible consequences but he NEVER shut him up.
Something about them that people don't understand is that they DON'T fight- they don't talk about it and that INCLUDES fighting- and even in the young exorcist arc Teru never told Kou straight up "your wrong" he LISTENED and gave Kou time to figure out how he feels- Teru even said that chp87 was there first proper fight- they DON'T talk OR fight- they keep it to themselves and I feel like people just ignore this to make Teru the villain in there fics-
And don't even GET me started on chp87- I absolutely LOVED that chp and have been waiting for it ever since Teru gave his warning and I was SO disappointed that that entire chp got dumbed to "poor Kou" and "Teru's a horrible brother" honestly I was WAY more mad at Kou at the end of that chp then Teru- ofc no one was entirely right or wrong but Kou was just a complete hypocrite in that chp- and made me realize actually that people will only see the things that Teru say that make him look bad.
"...because you're weak Kou...!" But what about after? "...but sometimes...I envy that weakness..." it COMPLETELY changes the meaning but the first line is all people saw.... same happened with Teru saying he would "kill" Nene....
"...then I'll kill her." Ya sounds bad but after? "would you?" "Maybe. Does that give some small idea of the consequences of your actions?"
He was trying to make Hanako see what HE DID- TERU WOULD NEVER HURT NENE- THE ONLY REASON HER NAME CAME OUT OF HIS MOUTH WAS BC THAT WAS THE ONLY WAY TO GET HANAKO TO LISTEN!!! I find this fight between them especially intriguing for Teru specifically bc of this- why did he try so hard to make Hanako (a supernatural) understand the consequences of his actions and the full extent of what he did? (Also! All these lines I'm quoting are all directly from the volumes- lmao literally had to pull them out to make sure I got the DIRECT quote XD)
Idk it's a pattern with Teru that they always take what he says out of context to make him look bad and it's ALWAYS annoyed me-
Ok ok- I'm rambling a LOT in this I'm sorry (again) I get very excited talking about stuff I love especially Teru so sorry for the brain vomit TwT
Basically I agree with everything you said and I can't wait to see your post about chp87! ^^
Can we acknowledge how tragic of a detail this is? In ch114?
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The fact that Teru views Kunishige (shrine grandpa) as the only one he can rely on despite how their relationship is at-best frenemies and at-worst hostile is downright devastating.
Reason #1: Teru and Kunishigeā€™s relationship is predominantly negative.
In ch79, gramps was making jokes about threatening Teruā€™s livelihood and while Teru later joined in to counter, the comment was clearly in bad faith ā€” an attempted power play to exert control over Teru and his flippant behavior. Itā€™s a baseless threat stuffed within the carcass of a joke: ā€œyour family needs us ā€” show respect.ā€ Teruā€™s an instigator for sure, but heā€™s not the adult in this situation.
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Point #2: Kunishige has done little to deserve Teruā€™s faith as an individual.
Shrine politics aside, gramps was beefing with a teenager and snitches on him to his dad! He pulled the ā€œIā€™m telling Dad on youā€ with Teruā€™s OWN FATHER pushing 90 ā€” like DAWG.
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I donā€™t fault gramps for reporting the Red House incident given his past experiences or its history, but it was the professional choice ā€” not the kind one. It doesnā€™t indicate any affection towards Teru nor resemble how you would treat a child you would go out of your way to support. Teru clearly has an adverse reaction to his father. Heā€™s off-put by the idea of contacting him in ch79 and canonically views his father as absent and not someone he can expect help from in ch114. Not over Kunishige at least.
Yeah, gramps puts on the Santa suit per Teruā€™s request. That in itself is an undeniable act of kindness. He does care and I donā€™t doubt that he is there for Teru. But itā€™s not enough to deny this fact:
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Conclusion: The only person (and adult) Teru feels he can rely on doesnā€™t treat him very well and wonā€™t protect him from his father if it meant going against his shrine duties. A bottom of the barrel choice because it becomes unnervingly evident this child, Teru, as early as 14, grew up having no one else. He chooses Kunishige over his own father, family members, friends, teachers ā€” everyone.
And Kunishige doesnā€™t even like him.
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bunnihearted Ā· 9 months ago
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šŸŒ§ļøšŸ«§šŸ’­
#i shouldnt have fav mutuals bc i get sooo sad when they soft block me#which *always* happens like im not joking the day will come when they're just like nahhh bye#šŸ„²šŸ„² nd i cant help but get sad#nd i dont even agree w that anon who said that 'no wonder everyone blocks u' bc im never mean to anyone#i think it's just bc im fundamentally unlikable and unlovable and the time will come when smth abt me#ticks them off nd nothing abt me is ever tolerated i always have to be perfect for everyone so then i just get cut off like dead weight lmao#also it shows that i get attached so easily but in reality ... ppl are not at all as attached to me šŸ’€šŸ’€#like i care abt them but they dont care abt me nd it makes me feel so stupid#why do i so easily care for ppl?????? why do i have to care nd like ppl when it's always gonna end the same way#me being me is bad nd wrong and nobody could ever truly know me nd still like me#i have to live my life constantly hiding parts of myself and making sure im not too authentic or too open bc then i will make ppl dislike me#it rlly is that. im never mean. i never fight. ppl just see smth abt me nd go 'oh ewwwwww' nd then leave#nd if it hasnt already happened it will at some point nd im constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop#whenever i realize i say or did smth wrong im tense waiting for the moment where they'll leave me will arrive#ok this might sound silly bc i was like 'triggered' by smth small but like#all my life thats just how it's been. im not even mean or cruel. i just exist and ppl dont like me or who i am or what i think#i can never be truly myself anywhere. that is sure to result in being all alone 4ever. but i dont like hiding parts of myself#but i have to. but its hard when im trying to hide nd be lowkey but i still manage to make ppl dislike me T-T#idek what im supposed to do bc i just exist nd im not likable. i try to be that but im still not. idk what to do#anyway.. who cares.. j'appartiens seul#but yeah it is bc it's like this for me all the time nd ig that triggered me lmao#i mean just w my sisters.. their issue is just who i am. my personality. i havent been cruel to them. or bullied them. or put them down#they just get irritated from my personality nd who i am. thats what makes them mad. nd they kinda want me to just stop being me nd idk how#to do that and therefore we arent even talking. havent talked for a year#i wanna cry like????? what am i supposed to do??????? im so extremely fucking horrible that just by exisiting nd not being mean or cruel mak#es me unworthy of everything. idk idk like. omg i feel so stupid for being triggered by that#maybe if i had irl friends and a job and a life i wouldnt care but im a fucking loser failure worthless good for nothing idiot. ofc im this
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angorwhosebabyisthis Ā· 7 months ago
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[pericky; a look into ricky's head during their meeting.]
---
"I'm glad you came, I wasn't sure you would." The wine pours, the sound of it drowning out the missing word in that sentence: back.
Of course, is the response, and the part of Ricky that's spent twenty years tearing itself apart to understand why vibrates with relief. It doesn't matter anymore. Of course, of course, he thinks giddily along with the words. He never needed to wonder why Pericles wasn't coming back in the first place; he was always going to.
I'm happy you invited me, and of course he thinks again. A lifetime of pretending he wasn't always going to either falls away. However harsh and lonely the world has been, all's right with it again; and the shy voice of the boy inside him that he's tried so hard to kill says, so quietly, I missed you.
#sdmi#scooby doo: mystery incorporated#pericky#ricky owens#professor pericles#anyway fucking end me actually. lay me down to die#i said i was gonna write more pericky and by fucking god i did#the 'why did you do this to me' to 'oh thank god you didn't actually do this to me' pipeline of abuse folks ļæ½ļæ½#which like. their last conversation is yet another devastating example of ricky finally standing up to pericles' bullshit Too Late#ricky denounces him in the strongest terms he knows; based on his own feelings and opinions and the way he sees the world#(which: even then he can't bring himself to say 'i don't love you anymore')#(the closest he can get is 'i chose you and i can't take it back; the only way i can imagine not loving you is if i never had at all')#and pericles tries to go 'nyeh nyeh whatever i don't care' (and does a real bad job of pretending he is not obviously hurt lmao)#and ricky doesn't try to understand his logic; he doesn't try to reconcile a world where pericles didn't *really* mean to do anything wrong#his response is MAYBE YOU *SHOULD* CARE.#pericles' view of the world and what's right and acceptable are warped and *wrong* and he's the one who needs to get his shit together#'you shouldn't have abused me you shouldn't have killed cassidy you shouldn't have murdered a child in cold blood'#that is MASSIVE and i think it is really telling that pericles' response is to shut him down with force instead of trying to argue any more#and that in the end is the real true fucking tragedy of it all#ricky is making huge strides one after the other to take back his freedom from pericles emotionally#....and materially it makes no difference to improve his situation in the moment; because pericles doesn't have any less power to abuse him#he never has a triumphant moment where he Overcomes His Abuser and Breaks Out of His Control#there's nothing he can do to fight back until pericles is too Literally Dead to control him anymore#it is one of the rawest depictions of the reality of abuse i've ever seen and just. God. i love it so much#(at the same time i REALLY want to explore a version of events where he got the chance to expand further on that growth)#(the 'all witches are selfish; make all things yours; i have a duty' speech from the wee free men comes to mind)#whosebaby makes things#whosebaby writes#SDMItag#dyn: when i die i want you to die too
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blujayonthewing Ā· 2 months ago
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so in juniper's campaign we've just found ourselves in a high-stakes situation that I as a player do frankly find stressful and am anxious about, but hey hi also the DM was like 'okay here are the exact mechanics of how this is going to work because I don't want to surprise you with serious repercussions, also here are all the options you will have to try to do something about the situation-- [affected player] what do you think? honest feedback, I don't want it to feel unfair, I want to be clear that I am not just trying to kill your character, and if it ends up being badly balanced we can revisit it down the road' and oh my god I could COLLAPSE and WEEP with gratitude
#[tears in my fucking eyes] WHAT IF DND WAS GOOD!! WHAT IF A DM THAT'S GOOD!!!#LIKE I've said actually MOST of my DMs are good but because of the way this situation was presented specifically#where-- as NOT the affected player-- it does feel like the way it came up was a little unfair and I AM worried about the stakes--#I REALLY SPENT SO MUCH OF THAT ABOVE-TABLE TALK GOING OH WOW I FEEL LIKE OUR FRIEND ACTUALLY LOVES US AND WANTS THIS TO BE FUN!!#I DON'T KNOW THAT I AGREE WITH WHAT HE'S DOING HERE BUT I TRUST MY FRIEND AND IT'S SAFE FOR US TO TALK ABOUT THINGS LIKE THIS PLAYER TO DM!!#WOWIE THAT FEELS RELEVANT TO MY DND EXPERIENCE RIGHT NOW LMAO!!!#'I've looked at your stats and inventories to try to make this serious but balanced but if it doesn't work we can retool it'#'I want to be extremely clear that this situation could kill destal so I want to be extremely sure that you're comfortable with that--#-- and with how the mechanics are designed around it'#I am fucking. on my KNEES WEEPING. at the contrast with how punishing and DEEPLY unfun felix campaign has relentlessly been the whole time#and how little of a fuck it feels like THAT DM gives when he's like 'this random rolltable encounter was deadly :)'#'you guys didn't get hit last time and got all your spells back right?' uhhh wrong and wrong and we TALKED about that last time#are you gonna revisit the balance on your fifth in a row 'if you fail you'll TPK' scenario? no? yeah I figured lol#christ knows HE'S never invited feedback on his DMing. you KNOW I don't feel safe to say 'hey this doesn't feel fair or fun' with him#AND LIKE!! WITH A DM I TRUST I FEEL SAFE ENOUGH TO REALLY PLAY WITH SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAPPENING!! YAY YIPPEE STAKES AND PATHOS!!!#I don't just want nothing bad to happen ever! but I don't want it to feel careless or heartless or just... Not Fun#anyway. grasping william's hands so tightly. my beloved friend. my wonderful friend. what a relief to have a DM that's good#after the shit we've been through in our now most-frequently-run campaign#the thing I'm mad about is that destal has been making a mystery saving throw every night-- but this was imperceptible to the characters#so we weren't acting on it#and now that he's failed it three times the situation is 'okay NOW you will be maming a con save every night and accumulating exhaustion'#'which can't be removed by sleeping' [six levels of exhaustion Kill You]#so like!! well okay I wish we had had ANY way of knowing how urgent this was before we got to 'now there's a deadly countdown' BUT OKAY#but like I said. he clearly put a lot of thought into the math for the mechanics#he made sure that we DO actually have ANYTHING we can do to mitigate the condition and outlined several options specifically and clearly#he checked in with justin about whether that seemed fair and opened it for future retooling if necessary#so I'm just at 'that was kind of a rugpull dude :/' instead of DESPAIRING lmao#this is a level of Oh Shit that's juicy! this is a level of Oh Shit that might force dramatic character choices out of desperation!#THIS IS AN OH SHIT WHERE WE STILL GET TO PLAY DND ABOUT IT AND HAVE ANY AGENCY WHATSOEVER. WHAT A CONCEPT.#ANYWAY!!! GOOD DND SAVE ME!!!!!!!!!
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lyssafreyguy Ā· 3 months ago
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God . . . imagine thinking Laios is a bad person who doesn't care about people. actual insanity.
#yea this is about you know who's 'review' again. it's on my mind now that i'm trying to finish the series. sowwy. ;9#making this unrebloggable from the getgo this time so that drama obsessed freaks can't get their hands on my ramblings again. fuck off lmao#anyways imagine thinking that. IMAGINE THINKING THAT HE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT HIS SISTER. GET WELL SOON OR FUCKING PERISH.#EDIT HEY I'M NOT QUITE DONE ACTUALLY:#i heard someone else say this and now that i finished the series i honestly gotta agree on some level#i think this specific YTer did genuinely try to give the series as a whole another shot (since she was only watching the anime at first)#but then when she went into the manga was so fucking mad at her viewers and fans straight up disagreeing with her personal interpretations#(which were wrong but she took them down the dumb as fuck and extremely wrong road of All of These Are Factual Actually Sorry)#that she only really skimmed the manga (or looked at footnotes/summaries) and took up a soapbox of I Know Everything About This Thing Now#and doubled down on her just completely wrong and honestly dumb opinions and interpretations being presented as fact out of pure spite#it legit sucks so fucking bad. cause like i know and have actually seen her audience who haven't ever touched the series#(or some that maybe started it and have some sort of beef with it for one reason or another and had those feelings validated by her)#parrot back these ideas as if they're true! i partly know it cause it happened with me and her talking about fucking ****** ********!#like legit i sometimes check like her channel or her blog on here every so often and i saw a post of hers on here#where someone in the replies just. blindly agreed with her! and called Laios a bad person probably without ever checking DM out themselves!#which is crazy cause this YTer used to call out like other YTers not taking hard stances#feeling they have to cloak whatever opinions or stances they have in a million This Is Just My Opinion disclaimers etc#which made me realize Oh Hey Yea They Do That like i used to like that about her!#but. you know. if her audience isn't forming their own opinions about a series and just parroting back her own to validate her being wrong.#then it's fine. i guess. epic echo chamber moments or what the fuck ever.#okay NOW i'm done i think. this time. i like to bitch and moan so i might vague post about her again probably. tee hee. :3
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mieczyhale Ā· 11 months ago
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one of the guys that runs a reaction channel i've been watching for ages just announced that they're ending the channel next year bc he got a job offer and he's getting married and he's thinking about his family and his future and like...
my son in christ you are 21
i literally want to fucking die
#dont get me wrong! good for him! i'm happy for him#but he really said he started the channel when he was younger (turns out that was 18) and it felt like time to move on#i am 31 and only got the job i love a year and a half ago#i have been dating and living with the same person for... 10 years in 11 days and all i've ever wanted is to get married#(and be a mom but i dont think im ever getting that one but im gonna go ahead and focus on that one zero percent or i'll cry)#i say. like all of this doesnt make me want to cry lmao#i am so incredibly blessed to have what i have. like truly i ended up with the perfect sort of life for my awkward mentally ill ass#but i cannot NOT spiral just a little when people younger than me have the things i want so so bad and then also talk as if their young age#is older than it is. i know you feel mature and older but you are still so fucking young. and okay honestly - now that im rambling - thats#just part of it huh?? i mean a lot of the spiral is actually Wow. I really lost so much of my life (so much time. so many opportunities) to#mental illness and other shit i couldn't control and there are people who didn't fucking have that. there are people who didn't have to#deal with any of that!!! honestly!!! and you just.. dont do anything to prepare for the future when you do not expect there to be one for#so long and then you can't stop fucking everything up and then oh look! you're in your 30s and-#god i cannot fucking do this#it is 1:35 in the morning and im tired but now i feel really stubborn about going to bed. i should. i want to. but also i dont.#actually going to bed is where The Horrors are so#this really was the dumbest fucking shit i think im gonna go to bed & play p.m on my phone and try to be a little less pathetic#maison speaks
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dokjaism Ā· 2 years ago
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#im sorry im getting feelings again#i was going to say i dont like being in tune w my feelings but. am i rlly LMAO#im not. im not rlly i dont recognize them i cant rlly name them outside of the main 3#all i know is that wanting smth usually leads to sadness bcs. when will it be my turn. will i EVER get my turn#and rn i want smth so bad which ik will turn into smth bad. sigh#and wanting smth im not sure i will ever get leads me to feeling im wasting my time bcs the things i can do now r very limited and outside#of that i cant rlly do shit. like. i rlly cant and it takes me to self-doubt. it makes me question myself#and i hate questioning myself bcs im not sure about a THING. is it the right path am i doing things right#and i dont know!!!!!! i dont know!!!!!!!!!!!! i dont know if i made the right decision of dropping out. i dont know if it was the right#choice to start a new major. in a new university. im not sure#and it makes me insecure bcs what if i was wrong what if im doing things wrong what if i didnt do the right thing#idk man. this path has been so lonely and i know i keep repeating myself i just have to wait to do things i want but what if i dont get it#< see i said feeling things usually take the wrong turn#this isn't very silly goofy of me im sorry#i just gotta be my own comedic relief or i will go absolutely fucking insane#idk man. i just wanna feel like i made the right decision and that im doing things for my own good without doubting myself#i wanna feel secure in life and i want to feel proud of me but on the mean time im just gonna live through ppl feeling proud of me#and im gonna live ignoring every single feeling bcs i dont like feeling them at all and im gonna keep protecting myself getting attached to#fictional stories and such#jo.txt#if someone read til here im sorry for the thoughts and stuff i will go back to being silly goofy rn šŸ‘
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alchemiclee Ā· 2 months ago
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WHY ARE WORDS HARD.
anyone else always at war with words and never gets along with them? because they refuse to say what you want them to say? and people always interpet words differently than you? šŸ˜…
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kimmkitsuragi Ā· 5 months ago
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also gonna be soooo insane for a minute re:prev post. not me looking at the helsinki gp like šŸ‘€ and going hmmmmm šŸ‘€
#i MAYBE will be acting so unwise when i finally get my residence permit from an eu country like#girl where's the money. yes you can now go to other countries but money where#also time where too probably........ but it's a future problem#šŸ—’#also i say/think all this but i would feel way too guilty to actually spend money on 'not essential' stuff there lmao#especially since im already feeling guilty abt Still not getting any scholarships or anything#literally . worst person ever award for me for wanting to study abroad in this economy . i suck#but in the long run it will be fineeeee we all gotta escape this hell somehow#sometimes i think abt and like aw maybe it wouldnt be So Bad to stay here huh#but then it feels so overwhelmingly. suffocating#feels wrong to let go of this chance when i have it. but also makes me feel extremely guilty#bc like. what's so special abt me why do i get to do this selfishly asking support from my family#while they're still here and im there and . you know it feels so selfish but i Am always a little selfish#and . i shouldn't think too much abt it#anyway today my friend asked me if i ended up staying there and we were both 30 and she was still here#would i marry her to get her a citizenship too and sjjsjejejrjfuekkskdufuf#yeah i should stop feeling guilty and start feeling thankful that i can try this experience ............#it's tru actually. never thought abt it like that i guess....#still feels like somehow impossible that i Will actually get this experience like lmfao#i should probably sleep
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angeltism Ā· 1 year ago
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this doesn't feel fair
#āž³ valentin vents#so much i could say. not that there's a point in saying anything. but also not that that's ever stopped me.#i knew it'd end. i knew i wouldn't be able to handle staying friends. but it still feels unfair.#i keep cycling through ''i am literally so chill i am vibing'' - ''ok i'm kinda sad but thats ok'' n ''throbbing chest pain why why why''#i don't know what i want. i can't think of a solution to feeling this way. all i can do is wait but i want to feel better now.#there was no way to fix things as there was nothing to be fixed.#but it still hurts. i'm still jealous. that's all i'm good at being.#i'm sad but i don't know why i'm sad. if i stop and really think i should only be a little sad.#i want to be angry but there's nobody to reasonably be angry at. nobody's done anything wrong.#i can only imagine how i'm the only one feeling this way lmao#maybe that's another of my ''source my anxiety told me'' thoughts but#i also just can't imagine why someone would actually be upset no longer having me in their life?#especially when there's other beings. there's someone else. there always has been.#i don't even know what i wantttt#i don't want to date again. bad idea. i'm too scared. i need to recover. i should focus on myself.#but i don't want to be alone. it's terrible.#i don't regret anything. i think. it's not like with my abuser where i regret each and every thing.#it was a good thing. if nothing else i know more about my needs. i know how to have courage to bring up issues.#i know when it's time to stop trying and to let go. i guess.#idk oh my god this is a fucking novel#again heyy could be worse. if uu think this is annoying ya'll should've seen me while i was w my abuser JDJFKJDNJD#i'd literally vent like every day abt him. which honestly fair he gave me a lot of trust issues. but rip to everybun who knew me in 2022 fr#* ok i have realized it's like. the exact same so far bc i've kept venting abt this LMFAOOO but uhh.#the venting back then was MUCH more colorfully worded and often. and less somber more ''i fucking hate c's guts i want that [insults] DEAD'#and like every 30 minutes. at least ya'll r getting pauses between my annoying ass posts HJDHJFH
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choerrypuffs Ā· 1 month ago
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red velvet hearts.
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pairing: bad boy!donghyuck x baker!reader
genre: fluff, slight angst
word count: 7.7k
synopsis: you patch up a boy with a bloody nose and bruised knuckles, only to find out that he has quite the sweet tooth.
authorā€™s note: why do i keep injuring hyuck in all my fics lmao??? anyways i tried to write his character a bit differently than i usually do to challenge myself so please let me know how you guys like it! also remember, ladies: this is fiction. you cannot fix him <3
warning(s): brief description of injuries, mentions of violence, maximum amounts of cringe and melodrama
playlist: all my ghosts by lizzy mcalpine ā€• heart eyes by coin ā€• close to you by gracie abrams ā€• sidelines by phoebe bridgers ā€• the alchemy by taylor swift
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RECIPE 1. TIRAMISU
ā€œThis is not what I meant when I said you need your back blown out.ā€Ā 
ā€œNot funny. I almost died,ā€ you grumble as you wrap the back brace around your torso. You hate the immediate relief you feel from the support it provides, no longer able to tell yourself that itā€™s really not as bad as it seemsā€•which only makes you angrier.Ā 
ā€œThrowing your back out while lifting a giant bag of flour and nearly getting crushed to death by said flour is genuinely the funniest fucking thing Iā€™ve ever heard,ā€ Yeri, your best friend (derogatory), snorts as she shakes her head. ā€œI wish you had cameras in the storage room because I want to see that shit so bad.ā€
ā€œThank you for the brace. You can get the hell out now.ā€ You roll your eyes.Ā 
ā€œSo, what are you going to do now? Arenā€™t you swamped with orders?ā€ Yeri asks, ignoring you completely.Ā 
You have no clue what youā€™re going to do now. It isnā€™t just orders you have to worry about fulfilling; itā€™s also the freshly baked pastries that you have to sell every morning. After a year of blood, sweat, and tears, the bakery that you built from the ground up is finally starting to gain some stable business. So, of course, you chose now of all times to try to lift a bag of flour over your shoulder like you were Dwayne The Rock Johnson.Ā 
ā€œI think Iā€™ll have to hire some temporary help,ā€ you answer begrudgingly.Ā 
ā€œYou could sound less like someone is holding you at gunpoint,ā€ Yeri snorts, ā€œCome on. It had to happen sooner or later anyway.ā€Ā 
ā€œI was handling things just fine on my own.ā€
ā€œWere you, though?ā€ Yeri raises an eyebrow, gesturing to your current state.Ā 
You fear you walked right into that one. ā€œShut up and help me make some posters.ā€Ā 
The two of you eventually manage to whip up some haphazard ā€œHelp Wantedā€ posters, the letters written in glitter pen and Yeriā€™s clumsy bubble text. You tried your best to fill in the empty gaps on the construction paper by placing Pompompurin stickers that you normally give to customersā€™ kids all over it. The posters look like a nine-year-old girlā€™s school project gone wrong, but you hope itā€™s charming enough to catch some attention.Ā 
By the time you and Yeri finish hanging up all the posters, the sun is already starting to set, and all you want to do is go home and put a heating pad on your back. After saying bye to Yeri, you start making your way back to the bakery to lock up. Once you arrive, you notice a figure dressed in black slumped over in front of the door. You can see their shoulders rise up and down as they take in labored breaths, leaning against the glass door for support.Ā 
Every rational fiber in your being screams at you to not approach the stranger alone, but itā€™s not like you can just leave this person at the front of your place of business. Cautiously taking a step forward, you squat down to eye level with the stranger, wincing slightly from back pain. Through the sweaty and matted mess of his brown fringe, you can see that the stranger is a young man around your age. However, his face is absolutely battered: bloody (and almost certainly broken) nose, split lip, black eye swollen shut, and a jagged cut on his cheek. If he notices your presence, he doesnā€™t show it, keeping his head hung down.
Gingerly placing a hand on his arm, you give him a small shake. ā€œExcuse me? Are you okay? Do you need me to call an ambulance?ā€Ā 
His brows furrow, and he opens an eye (the only one heā€™s probably able to open) with a wince before lifting a finger and putting it against his lips. You notice that his knuckles are completely scraped raw.Ā 
ā€œNot so loud. Iā€™m okay,ā€ he answers.Ā 
ā€œYou donā€™t lookā€•ā€Ā 
As if on cue, his stomach rumbles with a guttural growl that slowly drawls into a sputtering gurgle before dying out all togetherā€•leaving a long silence to hang between the two of you.
After another beat, he gives you a sheepish smile. ā€œYou got anything to eat?ā€Ā 
You stare at him for a moment; his face is flushed, pink all the way down to his neck.Ā 
And like a stupid horror movie character who opens the door to a room that clearly screams danger, you nod.Ā 
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Fortunately, heā€•Donghyuck, as he introduced himselfā€•ends up not being a crazy ax murderer.Ā 
Unfortunately, you find yourself awkwardly sitting in your closed bakery with a virtual stranger, fiddling with a first aid kit while watching him absolutely devour a piece of leftover tiramisu that you had in your fridge. If the situation wasnā€™t so insane, you might actually think it was pretty funny. For someone who looks the way he does, this current picture of Donghyuck absolutely doesnā€™t suit himā€•bruised chipmunk cheeks stuffed with ladyfingers and cocoa powder stuck on his split lip.Ā 
When heā€™s finished, Donghyuck looks over at you with a mesmerized expression on his face, as if you just fed him ambrosia. Thereā€™s a softness to his face that you didnā€™t think could exist underneath all that grime and dried blood.Ā 
ā€œThat wasā€¦delicious,ā€ he breathes.Ā 
ā€œThanks,ā€ you snort, pushing a glass of water towards him. Unsurprisingly, he chugs it in the blink of an eye. ā€œI still think you should get those injuries checked out, though.ā€Ā 
ā€œNah, Iā€™ll rub a little spit in them and itā€™ll be fine,ā€ he shrugs.Ā 
ā€œDonā€™t be gross,ā€ you sigh, scooting your chair closer to him as you set the first aid kit on the table. ā€œNow, come here.ā€Ā 
Donghyuck reluctantly dips his head, and you carefully cup his jaw for support, disinfecting and applying ointment on the cuts and scrapes on his face. You also clean up the dried blood near his nostrils and on his bottom lip, and he doesnā€™t flinch even when you accidentally brush tender areas like his broken nose or the gash on his mouth. Instead, he stays perfectly still, leaned back in the chair with his forearms resting on his thighs and fingers nonchalantly laced together.Ā 
He keeps his gaze trained on something past your shoulder, and you also try your best to focus, but itā€™s hard to keep yourself from staringā€•especially when his demeanor has changed so much. Heā€™s so calm and quiet in such a cold, ruthless manner, as if heā€™s physically steeling himself from painā€•like heā€™s done this a million times before. Occasionally, you feel his eyes swipe across your face when he thinks youā€™re not paying attention, and it occurs to you how close the two of you are. Suddenly, youā€™re acutely aware of the heat of his skin against your palm and fingertips, and you rip your hand away from his jaw.Ā 
Clearing your throat, you move onto his hands, dabbing his raw knuckles with a cotton ball soaked in alcohol before placing large band-aids on them. Despite your best efforts, itā€™s hard not to notice how slim his long fingers are or how surprisingly clean his nail beds are for someone whoā€™s covered in blood. You keep your head completely bent, fighting the urge of looking up and possibly meeting his eyes.Ā 
ā€œThere, all done,ā€ you announce a little too loudly.Ā 
ā€œThank you,ā€ he says softly, ā€œfor the cake and for this. For helping me.ā€Ā 
ā€œDonā€™t worry about it. I didnā€™t do much,ā€ you blurt, still avoiding eye contact as you clean up the table. However, you notice in your peripheral that his gaze follows your movements, almost hesitantly, before he asks:Ā 
ā€œSo, youā€™re hiring?ā€Ā 
You click the first-aid kit shut, blinking a few times before turning back to him. He looks at you with a raised eyebrow, waiting for an answer.
ā€œIā€•yeah. How did you know that?ā€ you ask, puzzled by such a random question.Ā 
Donghyuck points at a poster that you didnā€™t even know you left here, sitting on the table right behind you. You realize that he was probably looking at it while you were patching him up.Ā 
ā€œThat poster that says ā€˜help wanted.ā€™ With the Pompompurin stickers. Iā€™m actually in between jobs right now, so if you would have meā€•ā€
ā€œYou know Pompompurin?ā€ you interrupt him. Itā€™s not that important and should not stand out to you as much as it does. Yet, you canā€™t help but grin at the fact that someone like him knows about a tubby Golden Retriever character with a name that sounds like a mashup of the English languageā€™s most adorable onomatopeias.Ā 
Donghyuck trails off, stiffening as if you just found out his deepest, darkest secret. He opens his mouth slightly, trying to speak but unable to formulate a responseā€•an excuse, rather. Instead, he just lets out an airy cough, putting a hand over his mouth and turning away from you in an attempt to obscure his face. Despite his best efforts, he canā€™t hide his glowing red ears and the way his earlier coldness melts away.
ā€œIā€•yeah,ā€ he responds, words slightly muffled by his hand.Ā 
You struggle to maintain your composure as you gnaw on your bottom lip to keep from laughing. Fighting a smile in your voice, you finally say:Ā 
ā€œThe pay wonā€™t be that much, but youā€™ll get a bunch of free desserts at the end of the day. Are you okay with that?ā€Ā 
It takes him a moment to process that youā€™re offering him the job, and you watch his eyes light up and a warm smile overtake his face. Thereā€™s still a light shade of pink dusting his cheeks, clashing with the purple bruising and swelling of his injuries.Ā 
ā€œIā€™d love nothing more.ā€
Suddenly, it occurs to you that Donghyuck somewhat reminds you of a tiramisu.Ā 
He may look a bit rugged and grimey, bitter like coffee, but in actuality, underneath it all, heā€™s soft and fluffy (but not too sweet) like a mascarpone filling.Ā 
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RECIPE 2. BLUEBERRY PIE
ā€œAre you out of your mind?ā€
You cringe away from your phone, hurriedly turning the volume down. ā€œDamn, you donā€™t have to scream like that.ā€Ā 
ā€œYou should be the one screaming,ā€ Yeri hollers. ā€œI better not come over one day and find your body stuffed in the freezer or something.ā€
ā€œI thought you wanted me to hire someone!ā€Ā 
ā€œNot some random dude off the side of the street who was covered in injuries and doesnā€™t even have any baking experience,ā€ Yeri hisses.Ā 
ā€œI donā€™t need him to bake. I just have him working the front counter and doing all the heavy lifting when I get my ingredient shipments,ā€ you protest. ā€œDid you think I would really just hand over all my orders to some random dude and go party it up in CancĆŗn or something?ā€Ā 
Yeri is silent for several seconds before asking, ā€œHeā€™s hot, isnā€™t he?ā€
ā€œWhat?ā€
ā€œSo you did know what I meant when I said you needed your back blown out.ā€ You can hear the smugness in her voice.Ā 
ā€œYeri,ā€ you say tiredly, ā€œplease be serious.ā€
ā€œI am serious. Youā€™re the one being unserious,ā€ she retorts. ā€œYesterday, you acted like you would rather sacrifice your firstborn child before hiring a part-timer, and now look at you. Dickmatized.ā€Ā 
ā€œOkay, Iā€™m hanging up now.ā€
ā€œSo, when do I get to meet himā€•ā€
You quickly hit the button to end the call and shove your phone into your pocket, letting out an exasperated sigh. You definitely wonā€™t be hearing the end of that for a while. Your face feels warm for some reason, and you decide that you need a coffee break. After you finish making it, you pour yourself and Donghyuck a cup.Ā 
You peek your head out from the curtain that separates the kitchen and the front counter to see if Donghyuck is busy. Heā€™s politely chatting with an elderly woman, and your eyes nearly pop out of your head when he takes out the entire tray of egg tarts in the glass display and wraps it up for her. The woman happily hands him a wad of bills and waves him goodbye. After putting the cash in the register, Donghyuck turns around and catches you in the middle of gawking.Ā 
ā€œOh, Y/N. I was actually just about to head back there. Weā€™re out of egg tarts for the display,ā€ he says nonchalantly.Ā 
ā€œUh, yeah, I can see that,ā€ you whisper loudly, ā€œWas that Mrs. Kim? Why the hell did she order a dozen egg tarts? That woman can barely finish a single cookie.ā€Ā 
Donghyuck blinks, clearly confused, whispering back, ā€œShe asked for my recommendation, so I said egg tarts since no one had bought any yet, and she said she would take all of them.ā€Ā 
You pause, things finally clicking. Grinning knowingly, you say, ā€œYou know, having you work the front is doing wonders for sales.ā€Ā 
ā€œI donā€™t understand.ā€ He furrows his brows.Ā 
You laugh, handing him his cup of coffee. ā€œIā€™m talking about your face card, Donghyuck. Youā€™re too handsome, so youā€™re flustering the customers.ā€Ā 
ā€œAre we not whispering anymore?ā€ he asks awkwardly. ā€œBesides, thatā€™s not true. Look at the state of my face right now.ā€Ā 
His injuries have faded significantly, but the bruising and cuts are still there. You want to tell him that superficial wounds canā€™t mask the warmth in his caramel-brown eyes, the fullness of his cheeks and the sharp jawline, and the air of mystery that enshrouds him and draws people in.Ā 
But you donā€™t.Ā 
ā€œWell, for someone whoā€™s only been working here for two weeks, youā€™re doing superb. Injuries or not.ā€Ā 
And itā€™s true. Youā€™ve always preferred to work alone because youā€™re the only one who understands how you want things done. You naturally assumed it would be a hassle and a waste of time to try to explain to someone else when you could just do it yourself, but Donghyuck never seems to need an explanation. In fact, he knows before even you.Ā 
He gets to the bakery three hours before you, cleans and preps all the equipment you need for the day, unloads the ingredient shipments, and is already manning the front counter by the time you arrive like it was no big deal at all. He also seems to have a sixth sense of knowing when youā€™re about to do something you shouldnā€™t be, even though you downplayed your back injury. Heā€™s somehow always thereā€•moving all the stuff you keep on the top shelf to somewhere within your reach even though you insisted that the rickety wooden step stool you use is perfectly safe, cleaning up a glass beaker that you accidentally shattered, taking out the trash during his breaks, checking in on you when you skip lunch. He even turned down his first paycheck, saying itā€™s repayment for patching him up and feeding him.Ā 
Donghyuck is so perfect that sometimes you wonder if youā€™re being set up, like maybe heā€™s secretly embezzling money from the cash registerā€•which would be a more viable theory if he didnā€™t drive an Audi to work everyday.Ā 
ā€œThanks for the compliment. And the coffee,ā€ Donghyuck says, snapping you out of your thoughts. He gingerly takes a sip and makes a strangled noise, a mixture being choking and retching, before slapping a hand over his mouth.Ā 
ā€œAre you okay? Was it too hot?ā€ you ask worriedly.Ā 
ā€œNo, itā€™s justā€¦really bitter,ā€ he mumbles, words muffled in his hand.Ā 
ā€œOh,ā€ you blink, ā€œSorry. I drink black coffee, so I forgot to ask if you wanted creamer and sugar. Come on, thereā€™s some in the back.ā€Ā 
The two of you head to the kitchen, and you watch him dump an exorbitant amount of creamer and sugar in his coffee, the dark roast swirling into something more akin to milk tea.
ā€œYou know, there might be some chocolate milk in the fridge if youā€™d rather that,ā€ you tease.Ā 
His head shoots up, those doe eyes lighting up. ā€œReally?ā€Ā 
ā€œNo,ā€ you trail off awkwardly, ā€œSorry, I'm just messing with you.ā€Ā 
Itā€™s a bit adorable that you can visibly see him being disappointed in there not being chocolate milk before growing embarrassed, looking down at his cup. He turns away from you, but you can see the flush on the back of his neck.Ā 
ā€œYou really have a sweet tooth, huh?ā€ you laugh.Ā 
ā€œPretty lame, right?ā€Ā 
ā€œWhy would that be lame? Youā€™re talking to someone who owns a bakery, in case you forgot.ā€Ā 
Donghyuck smiles at you, and itā€™s sugary sweet like buttercream frosting. He looks at you like you just said the most wonderful thing in the world; in fact, he always makes you feel like that, no matter what you say or do. ā€œI guess youā€™re right.ā€Ā 
ā€œWhatā€™s your favorite dessert?ā€ you blurt, needing a distraction urgently.Ā 
He pauses briefly. ā€œI donā€™t think I have one.ā€
That actually surprises you. ā€œYou donā€™t? Even though you love sweets so much?ā€Ā 
He laughs, the sound harsh and rough, and it almost makes you flinch. ā€œIā€™ve never really had an opportunity to have many until now.ā€Ā 
Thereā€™s clearly weight behind his words, but you know youā€™re not in a position to ask any further. A selfish part of you wants to be important enough to him that you are in a position to know more, but youā€™re all too aware about him very purposefully keeping you at armā€™s length.Ā 
ā€œWell, you have plenty of time to find out,ā€ you quickly continue, pretending not to notice. ā€œActually, Iā€™m going to a blueberry farm tomorrow because Iā€™m thinking about adding blueberry pie to the menu. When I get back, Iā€™ll bake one for you, and you can be the first to taste test it!ā€Ā 
ā€œYouā€™re going by yourself?ā€ Donghyuck raises an eyebrow.Ā 
ā€œOf course. Who else would I go with?ā€Ā 
ā€œMe. Iā€™ll go with you,ā€ he replies immediately.Ā 
ā€œBut itā€™s, like, a forty-five-minute bus ride to the farm. Plus, coming with me to get ingredients isnā€™t part of your job description anyway,ā€ you explain.Ā 
ā€œI canā€™t come with you on my own free time?ā€ he asks, tilting his head. ā€œBesides, Iā€™m worried about you overexerting yourself with that back injury. A bumpy bus ride definitely isnā€™t going to help, so Iā€™ll drive us there.ā€Ā 
ā€œYouā€™re going to drive that fancy ass car to a farm? You do realize itā€™s going to be dirt roads, right?ā€ You cross your arms.Ā 
ā€œI think Iā€™ll live. Besides, what makes you think this is the only fancy ass car I own?ā€ He gives you an amused smile.Ā 
ā€œYouā€™re joking, right?ā€ You stare at him.Ā 
He hesitates for a moment. ā€œYes.ā€Ā 
ā€œThat doesnā€™t soundā€•ā€
ā€œWhat time are we leaving tomorrow morning?ā€Ā 
ā€œ...Seven.ā€
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Unsurprisingly, Donghyuck picks you up right on time, not a minute too early or late. As the universe would have it, it rained the night priorā€•meaning all the dirt roads are now rivers of mud. You wince every time you heard a splat of mud hit Donghyuckā€™s pristine white car, but he seems to pay no mind to it. The two of you arrive at the farm within twenty minutes (he found a shortcut), and because you came so early, you get the entire farm to yourselves. The staff arms both of you with a large wicker basket each before setting you loose onto the massive property.Ā 
ā€œOkay, make sure to pick the fat ones. The small ones are super tart, so avoid those,ā€ you instruct Donghyuck. ā€œWeā€™re going to fill these baskets to the brim and get our moneyā€™s worth.ā€Ā 
ā€œYou got it, Captain.ā€ He salutes.Ā 
You give him a determined nod and a thumbs up before turning to your respective side and beginning to pick the blueberries. The two of you work without much fanfare or conversation, and itā€™s a silence that lingers between you comfortably. It reassures you to hear the sound of the bushes rustling from Donghyuck working; his companionship alone relaxes you.Ā 
Eventually, when the sun starts peeking through and the weather grows warmer, both of you decide to take a break. You find a spot in the shade before sitting down, pulling out snacks and bottles of water from a backpack Donghyuck brought along.Ā 
ā€œI have a surprise for you,ā€ you tell him, trying to hide a smile. ā€œClose your eyes.ā€Ā 
He eyes you suspiciously but does so anyway. You fish out a handful of unripe blueberries wrapped in a handkerchief from your pocket and feed some to him. His reaction is nearly instant the moment he starts chewing them; you watch as his face puckers up from how sour they are and his entire body shrivels into itself, a shudder running through him. Heā€™s polite enough to not spit them out, but youā€™re not polite enough to resist pointing and laughing at him. Throwing your head back, you laugh so hard that your stomach starts to hurt.Ā 
ā€œOh my God, your face!ā€Ā 
ā€œUgh,ā€ Donghyuck groans, taking a big gulp of his water. ā€œI shouldā€™ve known you had sinister intentions from the start.ā€Ā 
ā€œI didnā€™t think youā€™d react like that,ā€ you finally manage to say after catching your breath. ā€œYou really canā€™t handle anything except for sweet stuff.ā€Ā 
ā€œAre you having fun bullying me?ā€ He rolls his eyes.Ā 
ā€œSo much fun,ā€ you say in a sing-song voice.Ā 
Donghyuck tries to continue feigning annoyance, but he canā€™t help the low chuckle that rumbles in his chest. His eyes always soften when he looks at you, and his gaze is intimate like a loverā€™sā€•gentle, tender, unwavering, and vulnerable. But his warmth is always fleeting, and he only allows you glimpses of it through the unmoving walls that heā€™s erected around himself.Ā 
You wish he wouldnā€™t indulge you so, terrified youā€™ll try to cross the line heā€™s drawn between the two of you.Ā 
ā€œWhat are you thinking about?ā€ Donghyuck asks, trying to read your expression
ā€œAbout the delicious pie Iā€™m about to make when we get back,ā€ you smile.Ā 
ā€œI see,ā€ he responds, though itā€™s clear he isnā€™t convinced. ā€œIā€™m looking forward to it.ā€
ā€œYou better be. This is how Iā€™m paying you back for driving me here,ā€ you nod.Ā 
ā€œInstead of that, pay me back by telling me what your favorite dessert is,ā€ he suddenly says. ā€œI do still want the pie, though.ā€Ā 
ā€œThat was random,ā€ you snort. ā€œWhy do you want to know my favorite dessert?ā€
ā€œBecause you asked me, but you never told me yours.ā€Ā 
You suppose he has a point, but you find it ironic that he wants to know more about you when he refuses to offer you even a modicum of information about himself. Despite this, you tell him anyway because you are obviously the fool here.Ā 
ā€œIf you must know, itā€™s red velvet cake,ā€ you sigh.Ā 
ā€œWhy?ā€Ā 
You donā€™t answer at first, carefully thinking about if youā€™re ready to be vulnerable in front of himā€•still a virtual stranger. A virtual stranger who loves sweets. A virtual stranger who is a bit of a messy eater. A virtual stranger who knows Pompompurin. A virtual stranger who worries about you even when heā€™s not on the clock. A virtual stranger who gently tells you to be careful whenever you try to do something dangerous, whispering, ā€œIā€™ll do it instead.ā€ A virtual stranger who allows his luxury car to be caked in mud for you.Ā 
ā€œBecause itā€™s the dessert that made me realize I want to do this for the rest of my life,ā€ you finally say. ā€œI baked it for my momā€™s birthday, and I think I ended up being more excited than her.ā€Ā 
Donghyuck stays quiet, gauging your reaction.Ā 
ā€œI was in college, studying to be a doctor like everyone else in my family. So, like a dumb young person who thought that dreams were more important than money, I dropped out of college and went to culinary school. My parents told me I was ruining mine and their lives, disowned me, yada-yadaā€•a bunch of depressing stuff, you know. Eventually, I graduated, took out a huge loan, and opened up my own bakery. Worked a bunch of part-time jobs until my business could stand on its own. Now here I am. Still in debt, though,ā€ you laugh awkwardly. ā€œBut Iā€™m not doing too shabby. I was able to hire you, so at least I have a little cash to spare.ā€Ā 
He still doesnā€™t say anything, so you find yourself starting to ramble. Youā€™re really not sure what possessed you to trauma dump on him like that.Ā 
ā€œYou know, a lot of people talk shit about red velvet cake because they say the only thing that makes it special is the red food coloring,ā€ you hurriedly explain, ā€œbut thatā€™s not true. The cream cheese frosting is super important too. Also, I always say love is the most important ingredient of all. As a baker, youā€™re kind of baring your heart to the customer, and isnā€™t it kind of cute that red velvet cake is red like a heart? Okay, please say something now or else I think Iā€™m going to projectile vomit.ā€Ā 
Donghyuck reaches over and brushes a sweaty lock of hair out of your face. His fingers brush over your temple, which makes you sharply suck in a breath. You almost lean into his touch, but you catch yourself. His hand slightly lingers on the side of your neck, like he wants to bring your face closer, but he eventually pulls away.Ā 
He searches your face, and youā€™re not sure what heā€™s looking forā€•if anything. Rather, perhaps heā€™s not searching. Perhaps heā€™s committing your features to his memory, as if the way you look right now is something he wants to remember forever.Ā 
ā€œYouā€™ve worked hard, Y/N,ā€ he says softly, voice slightly hoarse. ā€œThis is long overdue, but congratulations. You achieved your dream, and donā€™t let anyone ever discount that. Not even yourself.ā€Ā 
You wonder how long youā€™ve waited to hear that. Youā€™re not even sure you knew you needed to hear that. But when Donghyuck says it, it hits you just how long and hard youā€™ve worked all on your own without a single break. Throughout the years, youā€™ve really only ever heard, ā€œIā€™m sorry that happened.ā€ When was the last time someone congratulated you? When was the last time you congratulated yourself?Ā 
You surge forward, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and burying your face in his shoulder. Donghyuck cradles you against him, one hand wound tightly around your waist while the other is tangled in your hair. You can feel his chest rise up and down as he holds you. He smells like lavender soap and a bit earthy from being outside, and the warmth of his skin against your cheek makes you want to close your eyes and fall asleep in his arms.Ā 
ā€œThank you,ā€ you whisper.Ā 
ā€œNo, thank you,ā€ he murmurs into your hair.Ā 
Youā€™re not sure why heā€™s thanking you instead, but what you are sure of is that youā€™re crossing the line, taking a step towards him and wondering if heā€™ll meet you halfway.Ā 
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.
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ā€œTada!ā€ you announce cheerfully, setting down the freshly baked blueberry pie onto the table.Ā 
Donghyuck claps excitedly. ā€œHoly shit, it looks amazing.ā€Ā 
ā€œIā€™m still trying to figure out the right portions for the filling, so let me know if you think thereā€™s too much or little,ā€ you tell him as you hand him a slice.Ā 
Without even answering you, he stabs his fork into the pie and almost eats the entire slice in one bite, seemingly unbothered by the steam still rising from it.Ā 
ā€œBe careful. Youā€™re going to burn your tastebuds off. Iā€™m not letting you eat it for shits and giggles, you know. This is for research purposes.ā€ You cross your arms.Ā 
ā€œItā€™s perfect, Y/N. Iā€™m serious,ā€ Donghyuck says after swallowing. ā€œThe filling isnā€™t too sweet, and the crust is airy and light.ā€Ā 
ā€œWell, alright, Gordon Ramsay. I think weā€™re going to be adding a new menu item then,ā€ you smile. ā€œThink you can get Mrs. Kim to buy a dozen of these?ā€
ā€œI donā€™t think sheā€™ll need much convincing with how good these taste.ā€Ā 
ā€œYouā€™re so easy,ā€ you tease. ā€œAll I need to do is feed you. Anyways, Iā€™m going to clean up here, but you should head home. Itā€™s getting late, and you wake up way earlier than me.ā€Ā 
ā€œIā€™ll help,ā€ he insists.Ā 
ā€œGo,ā€ you order, pointing at the door. ā€œI can handle it.ā€Ā 
He looks conflicted but eventually relents when you threaten to physically kick him out. Before he leaves, he turns back to you and says, ā€œThank you, Y/N.ā€
ā€œWhy do you keep thanking me?ā€ you laugh.Ā 
ā€œItā€™s been a long time since Iā€™ve had this.ā€
ā€œWhat? A blueberry pie?ā€
Donghyuck pauses, a slight wonder in his expression, as if heā€™s realizing his answer for the first time as well.
ā€œPeace.ā€Ā 
And you think maybe this is a step forward for him too.Ā 
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RECIPE 3. CREAM PUFF
Itā€™s quite surreal how easily and naturally you and Donghyuck fall into a routine together. Somehow, in the blink of an eye, two weeks becomes two months. Youā€™ve learned the little things about him, like how he always swipes some icing before you can fill up the piping bag or that heā€™s not a coffee drinker at all (more of a hot cocoa person) or that he purses his lips when a dessert heā€™s testing tastes off (no matter how hard he tries to hide it) or that he involuntarily sticks his arm out in front of you when he wants to stop you from doing something you shouldnā€™t.Ā 
You also notice that he sometimes comes into work with injuries. Theyā€™re not nearly as bad as the first time you met him, but itā€™s hard to ignore a bruised cheek or bloodied knuckles. He always has a reason for them, whether itā€™s tripping down the stairs or accidentally falling down and scraping his hands on the concrete. You can tell by the way he laughs it off that he doesnā€™t plan on telling you the truth, so you laugh with him. The two of you, having taken only a step towards one another, find yourselves completely immobile now.Ā 
He always does this: envelops you like a cloud but disappears the moment you reach out for him.Ā 
Youā€™re honestly not sure why heā€™s still here. Your injury has long healed, and he clearly doesnā€™t need the abysmal pay youā€™re giving him. He feels like heā€™ll slip away at any moment, fleeting like a warm spring breeze, and you suppose time flies by when you know itā€™s limited. Despite knowing that, you canā€™t help but desperately want him to stay.Ā 
ā€œI think itā€™s cute how hard heā€™s working,ā€ Yeri randomly says one day as she eyes Donghyuck prepare orders in the front. Heā€™s in the middle of a lunchtime rush, so he doesnā€™t even notice the two of you watching him like weirdos.
ā€œWell, thatā€™s what Iā€™m paying him to do,ā€ you reply, rolling his eyes.Ā 
ā€œOh, I think the money is the least of his worries here,ā€ she hums, taking a sip of her coffee.Ā 
She has a point, but youā€™re pretty sure sheā€™s implying something else as well. Just as you go to ask her what exactly she means, you hear a loud clatter. Flinching, you turn your attention back to Donghyuck and realize that heā€™s dropped a tray on the floor. However, the tray is the last thing on your mind when you see the expression on his face. Itā€™s a mixture of horror, anger, and almost sadnessā€•like heā€™s finally come face-to-face with whatever heā€™s been running from. It makes your blood run cold.Ā 
Donghyuck is looking at a boy around his age; the boy has dark hair, a mole under his eye, and a grim expression. More importantly, heā€™s covered in injuries too.Ā 
ā€œWho is that?ā€ Yeri whispers. ā€œWhy does Donghyuck look like heā€™s seen a ghost?ā€Ā 
Maybe because he has, you want to tell her.Ā 
Donghyuck grabs the boy's arm, squeezing so tightly that his knuckles turn white, and mumbles something to him. When he turns around and meets your eyes, he looks pained and fearful as if you witnessed something you shouldnā€™t have.
ā€œIs it okay if I take my break early today?ā€ he asks calmly, though the tremor in his voice gives him away.Ā 
You nod hesitantly, unable to force yourself to speak. You watch him as he drags the boy out; when he passes you, you can tell how tightly his body is wound right now. His jaw is clenched, a muscle spasming as he tries to control himself, and every step he takes seems labored. Heā€™s running on pure adrenaline right now, like heā€™s physically steeling himself.Ā 
However, you donā€™t think heā€™s ever appeared so incredibly alone before. As you watch his back disappear further and further from your view, youā€™re unsure if heā€™ll ever return, and you never imagined how terrifying that would be.Ā 
.
.
.
The cream puffs arenā€™t rising.
Youā€™re crouched in front of the oven, watching the dough remain flat and lifeless. You shouldā€™ve known better than to attempt to make cream puffs on such a shitty day, especially when pastries like these are so sensitive to the environment and atmosphere. Even though you know you should probably just scrap them and try again, you wait for just a little longer, hoping that maybe if you wish hard enough that theyā€™ll magically start to rise.Ā 
But then again you suppose that no matter how hard you try, no matter how careful you are, no matter how perfect the batter is, no matter how much time you spend time piping them, no matter how much you want them to rise, they wonā€™t.Ā 
You decide that Donghyuck isnā€™t like a tiramisu at all; heā€™s sensitive and delicate and elusive and frustrating like a cream puff.Ā 
ā€œY/N, theyā€™re burning.ā€Ā 
Losing your balance and nearly falling over, you gasp loudly. You were so lost in your thoughts that you didnā€™t even hear Donghyuck walk into the kitchen, nor did you smell the undeniable scent of something being burnt to a crisp.Ā 
ā€œOh, fuā€•!ā€ you curse, hurriedly opening the oven and casually suffocating both you and Donghyuck with a hot plume of air. Sputtering, you look around and grab a random rag from the sink before reaching for the cream puffs.Ā 
ā€œWait, stop!ā€ Donghyuck stops you with an outstretched arm, his hand pressed to your side. ā€œLet me do it.ā€Ā 
He gently takes the rag from your hand and removes the tray of charred cream puffs from the oven, dumping them into the trash before putting the tray in the sink and running some water on itā€•just how you like it.Ā 
Letting out a relieved sigh, he turns back to you and asks, ā€œAre you okay? Itā€™s not like you to make a mistake like that. You didnā€™t get burned anywhere, did you?ā€Ā 
When you donā€™t answer immediately, Donghyuck rushes forward and grabs your hands, carefully examining your fingers and arms. ā€œWait, are you hurt? Where? Tell me where you got burned. We have to cool it down with some lukewarm water. And donā€™t just say youā€™re fine. Burns are not a joke, Y/Nā€•why are you looking at me like that?ā€Ā 
His hands are calloused and rough, and you can still see scabs from where he tore his knuckles, yet he touches you like youā€™re the delicate one. Heā€™s covered in fresh and old wounds, yet he looks so panicked at the thought of you having a scratch.Ā 
ā€œShut up,ā€ you whisper furiously, ripping your hands away from him. ā€œFrom now on, donā€™t ask me another question. Itā€™s my turn to ask you questions.ā€Ā 
He blinks, a bit stunned by your reaction, but itā€™s clear he knows what youā€™re about to say. He goes to reach for you again but decides against it. ā€œOkay.ā€Ā 
ā€œWho was that guy?ā€ you demand. ā€œWhy are you always covered in injuries? Why did you lie to me? Who are you?ā€Ā 
ā€œHeā€™s an old friend,ā€ Donghyuck starts quietly.Ā 
ā€œDo you treat all your friends like that?ā€Ā 
ā€œWhen I donā€™t want to see them.ā€Ā 
You wait for him to continue.
ā€œBefore I met you, he and I and a few of our other friends workedā€¦odd jobs for cash,ā€ he explains, and he looks like heā€™s choking on every word. ā€œThe jobs usually entailed us hurting people and also getting hurt. I did a lot of shit I wasnā€™t proud of. At the time, I didnā€™t really care. It was just nice to feel something, whether it was the adrenaline rush from doing the punching or the pain from being punched. I got a bunch of money, bought a bunch of expensive stuff, but none of it mattered. Eventually, I just felt nothing again. I didnā€™t even have the energy to loathe myself anymore. So, I took one last job, got the shit kicked out of me, and then I left. Thatā€™s when you found meā€•ā€
He inhales, and his eyes flicker towards you. He gazes at you so longingly, as if you were impossibly out of his reach, that you canā€™t help but involuntarily take a step towards him.Ā 
But he steps back.Ā 
ā€œI thought that working here would make me feel like a human being again, but I didnā€™t realize how much I wouldā€•ā€ He pauses again. ā€œI thought working here would be a nice reset for me, but I naively thought that I could completely leave my past behind. My friends eventually found me, and I guess I care about those reckless assholes more than I thought because they managed to convince me to take on a few more jobs with them. Thatā€™s why Iā€™ve been coming to work with injuries. But Iā€™m done. I cut them off for good when they walked into this bakery. I donā€™t wantā€¦I donā€™t want our past to tarnish this place. I want to keep this place a beautiful, warm, and pure safe haven that you worked so hard for it to be. Thatā€™s why I lied to you, Y/N. Iā€™m a coward to the bone, and I was envious of you. I was ashamed to admit it to you. You, who had the courage to chase after your dream. You, who had the kindness to help a good-for-nothing asshole like me. I only want you to have happy memories from now on, and I am not one of them.ā€Ā 
ā€œAre you going to leave?ā€ you ask softly.Ā 
ā€œI probably should,ā€ he answers shakily.Ā 
ā€œWhatā€™s stopping you?ā€Ā 
ā€œJustā€¦one reason.ā€Ā 
ā€œWhen you say it like that, it makes it sound like the reason is me.ā€Ā 
Donghyuck laughs bitterly, and his eyes drag across your face like every movement hurts him.
ā€œYou know itā€™s you. Itā€™s always been you.ā€Ā 
When you reach for his hand, he turns away like just the warmth from your body heat burns him. So instead, you take a step back.Ā 
ā€œI wonā€™t ask you to stay, Donghyuck, I wonā€™t chase you. Iā€™m going to wait right here, and itā€™s up to you if you're going to meet me halfway.ā€Ā 
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RECIPE 4. RED VELVET CAKE
When your alarm clock goes off the next morning, you seriously consider just not showing up to work. Itā€™s not like you can be fired for being a no-show when youā€™re your own boss, after all.Ā 
And itā€™s not like you have any employees who will be expecting you.Ā 
Youā€™ll just apologize to Mrs. Kim and your other regulars later. Youā€™re allowed to have a day where you just rot in bed and feel sorry for yourself.Ā 
However, no matter how much you tell yourself that, you find yourself crawling out of bed and getting ready anyway. You canā€™t seem to brutally crush that small glimmer of hope that Donghyuck might still be there, no matter how hard you try. When you see yourself in the mirror, you recoil in horror. Your eyes are almost swollen shut from the amount of crying you did last night, and your face is sallow and lifeless.Ā 
So much for putting on a brave face, you think wryly to yourself. You tried so hard to look tough, when in reality, you bawled your eyes out and even considered praying to God for Donghyuck to stay. Itā€™s a humiliating and humbling reality check.Ā 
ā€œStand up right now,ā€ you sharply tell yourself in the mirror. ā€œHeā€™s just some guy. Get it together.ā€Ā 
You do your best to clean up your appearance and make the trek over to the bakery. It takes another internal pep talk before you can make your way to the door. After you finally walk up, you see that the lights inside are off. Your stomach sinks, and your eyes start to burn. Even though youā€™re holding the handle, you canā€™t bring yourself to open the door. Itā€™s an outcome that you expected, yet you wonder why it hurts so badly.Ā 
ā€œYou liar,ā€ you mumble to yourself, ā€œYou said you only wanted me to have happy memories.ā€Ā 
Once you make your way inside, you numbly head towards the kitchen, trying to remember what exactly you have to do today. Oh right, now that heā€™s not here, you also have to make sure all the ingredients are prepped first.Ā 
When you walk into the kitchen, you do a double-take.Ā 
The whole place looks like itā€™s been completely ransacked: used pans and utensils piled up in the sink, two opened boxes of cake mix, containers of ingredients without lids on on the tables, random lumps of flour and egg shells strewn aboutā€•Ā 
And right in front of the oven is Donghyuck, flour in his hair and frosting on his nose. Heā€™s holding a cake stand withā€¦you think itā€™s supposed to be a cake on it? The shape is mangled and haphazardly cut, but it has echoes of a heart. The frosting is a hot mess, as if a bird with diarrhea shat all over the cake. The batter is clearly underbaked and makes the cake look gooey in a bad way.Ā 
ā€œUm, I promise Iā€™ll clean all of this up in a second, but I wanted to surprise you,ā€ Donghyuck starts awkwardly. ā€œItā€™s not perfect, but I tried making a red velvet cake for you.ā€Ā 
You stare at him, still not sure how to react.Ā 
ā€œYou once said that baking is like baring your heart to the customer and that love is the most important ingredient of all,ā€ he laughs softly to himself. ā€œI think love is the only ingredient I managed to get right, but Iā€™m baring my heart to you now, Y/N. Iā€™m sorry I hid everything and lied to you, but Iā€™m in love with you. Hopelessly so. All my life, Iā€™ve chased a feeling, not knowing what it was. But now I do. I donā€™t think I knew how to feel until I met you. I never once thought I would ever have a purpose in my life, but you make me want to be a normal, proper member of society. Your dream is my dream. I want to wake up at 5AM and sell egg tarts with you for the rest of my life, if youā€™ll have me.ā€Ā 
Donghyuck sets the cake down on a table in front of you, and you notice that his fingers are dyed red from the food coloring. It almost reminds you of when you first met him, except his injuries have been replaced with red food coloring, flour, and cream cheese frosting.Ā 
ā€œThis cake is terrible,ā€ you smile, ā€œhow did you butcher it that badly when you used cake mix?ā€Ā 
You watch him blush all the way down to his neck, as he sheepishly looks away. ā€œDonā€™t make fun of me. I really tried my best. I stayed up watching tutorialsā€•ā€Ā 
Leaning across the table, you cup his face with both hands and kiss him, brushing your thumbs across his cheekbones. He tastes like frosting, hot cocoa, and your prayers being answered. The way he kisses you back is bruising, dizzying and knocking any coherent thought out of your head, his hands finding your hips and anchoring you to him. He kisses you like youā€™re the sweetest and most wonderful thing heā€™s ever tasted.
When you finally pull away, it takes you a moment to regain feeling in your legs. Donghyuck presses his forehead against yours, lips brushing against yours once again as the two of you try to catch your breath.Ā 
ā€œI think Iā€™m going to have to fire you, though,ā€ you whisper. ā€œYou know, with me being your boss and all. The power dynamic is too weird.ā€Ā 
He hums, pausing for thought. ā€œThen how about I become your business partner?ā€Ā 
ā€œWhat?ā€
Donghyuck reaches into his pocket and fishes out his wallet, pulling out a shiny and fancy-looking credit card. He hands it to you without much fanfare.Ā 
ā€œI have a lot of money, you know. So Iā€™m going to invest in your business. Use it as youā€™d like,ā€ he casually announces.
You stare at him, your jaw hanging wide open. He never tried to hide from you that he was rich, but he never told you that he was rich rich.Ā 
ā€œWell, damn! Why didnā€™t you show me this earlier? I would have forgiven you a lot sooner,ā€ you tease, slapping him on the arm. ā€œAre you sure you want to give this to me? Iā€™m quite the gold-digger, you know.ā€
ā€œWhen I told you to use it as youā€™d like, I meant me as well,ā€ Donghyuck replies, shrugging.
ā€œYouā€™re insane.ā€ You hope he canā€™t tell how much your face is burning up.Ā 
ā€œI guess I am,ā€ he laughs, and you donā€™t think heā€™s ever looked so free. You want to tell him that you hope he only has happy memories from now on too. You want to tell him that youā€™ll rewrite all of his scars with sugary and fluffy desserts so that they wonā€™t ever hurt again.Ā 
And for the first time in your life, you feel it too.
Peace.Ā 
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EXTRA
ā€œSo, have you figured out what your favorite dessert is?ā€Ā 
Donghyuck stirs slightly, groaning, as he wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you closer. He slips his hand under your shirt (well, technically itā€™s his shirt) and rests it on your bare hip bone.Ā 
ā€œWhy arenā€™t you asleep?ā€Ā 
ā€œBecause Iā€™m curious.ā€Ā 
ā€œIf I answer, will you let me rest?ā€
ā€œDepends on how good your answer is.ā€Ā 
ā€œBlueberry pie. Thatā€™s my answer.ā€Ā 
You smile against the crook of his neck.Ā 
ā€œWhy?ā€Ā 
ā€œBecause itā€™s the dessert that made me realize I want to do this for the rest of my life.ā€Ā 
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algae-tm Ā· 5 months ago
Text
MATCH MY FREAK
Max Verstappen x Heiress! reader
You have a reputation for being high maintenance, Max thinks youā€™re perfect (oneshot)
Authorā€™s Note: if you canā€™t tell I have major writers block on my kill bill seriesā€¦ this is why you plan folks! Iā€™ve kinda written myself into a corner. However, I love doing these lil oneshots so hereā€™s another :)
ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢
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MESSAGES
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yourusername just posted on instagram
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liked by lewishamilton, maxverstappen1, and 5,234,432 others
yourusername : mom, i am a rich man
view all comments
user1 : a rich man yet all your exes say you bleed them dry
ā€” user3 : at that point itā€™s a skill issueā€¦ if they knew they couldnā€™t keep up they shouldnā€™t have started dating her
ā€” user1 : you females will defend each other no matter how in the wrong you are. ā€” user3 : not fighting with a dude who calls women females
ā€”user1 : lmao cause you know youā€™re wrong
user5 : I think oomf on twitter was right, she likes lavish things so she buys them and the men in her life are threatened.
ā€” maxverstappen1 : couldnā€™t be me Iā€™m very secure in my masculinity!
ā€” user5 : MAX VERSTAPPEN!!!!??????
ā€” user6 : what is bro doing here
ā€” user8 : y/nā€™s freshly single and brother decides to shoot his shot lmao šŸ¤£šŸ¤£
ā€” user1 : brother run away whilst you can sheā€™ll only drain your energy and your bank account.
ā€” maxverstappen1 : me and my bank account can handle it
carlossainz55 : bro @maxverstappen1 thank you for lending me that 5 million euros after I lost my job! ā€” maxverstappen1 : the least I can do brother!
landonorris : Max Verstappen let me win the Miami gp! ā€” maxverstappen1 : No bro it was all you!
georgerussell63 : hey dude @maxverstappen1 when do you want me to return that lambo you lent me?
ā€” maxverstappen1 : of course you can just keep it!
charles_leclerc : max verstappen saved my mother and my dog from my burning yacht, then gave me his spare yacht cause he felt bad!
ā€” maxverstappen1 : no worries say hi to pascale and Leo for me!
danielricciardo : Max Verstappen is the most passionate lover Iā€™ve ever had!
ā€” maxverstappen1 : bro what? ā€” maxverstappen1 : this is not true!
ā€” user6 : lmao Dan I donā€™t think you did this correctlyā€¦
ā€”danielricciardo : I only speak the truth šŸ¤­
maxverstappen1: oh what a coincidence I am also a rich man, we should talk about our similarities over dinner
lewishamilton : catch flights not feelings
ā€” yourusername : so right lew šŸ–¤
MESSAGES
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TWITTER
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INSTAGRAM
yourusername just posted
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liked by maxverstappen1, lewishamilton, and 4,324,367 others
yourusername : is somebody gonna match my freak?
view all comments
user23 : isnā€™t the saying like luxury whispers or something?
ā€” yourusername : why should I whisper? My people deserve to be luxurious loudly!
lewishamilton : I actually have the perfect person to ā€˜match your freakā€™ heā€™s equally as weird as you
ā€” yourusername : šŸ¤ØšŸ¤ØšŸ¤Ø Iā€™m all ears
ā€” maxverstappen1 : me me me!! Heā€™s talking about me
MESSAGES
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A YEAR LATER ā€¢ INSTAGRAM
maxverstappen1 just posted
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liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc and 8,234,432 others
maxverstappen1 : I MATCHED HER FREAK!!
view all comments
yourusername : yeah you did baby!!
danielricciardo : that should be me šŸ˜”šŸ˜”
ā€” yourusername : stop trying to steal my man!
ā€” danielricciardo : he was mine first!!
ā€” user42 : this dynamic is everything
user44 : max actually bagged a baddie??
ā€” user56 : theyā€™re gunna divorce in like 2 years once he realises sheā€™s too high maintenanceā€¦
ā€” maxverstappen1 : NUH UH
lewishamilton : for the role I played any children you have should be named Lewisā€¦
ā€” maxverstappen1 : you extorted me!
ā€” lewishamilton : I helped you get the girl!
ā€” yourusername : yeah max, was I not worth the extortion??
ā€” maxverstappen1 : what no, of course you were! Iā€™d be extorted 1 million times for you!
ā€” user65 : wow they really do match each others freakā€¦
ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢
TAGLIST
@forevercaffeinated-lee
@callsignwidow
@a-beaverhausen
@emryb
@c0deincrazy
@dontworryaboutitokie
@c-losur3
@chuxk-lerclerk
@silkenthusiasts
@ietss
@sp1rl
2K notes Ā· View notes
saisiprincessa Ā· 21 days ago
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āœ® SCULPTED BODY āœ® -A VAUNT
scripting the perfect bodyā€¦
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vaunt model: female [but you can honestly tweak where you need to]
why is my body so perfect? like seriously? why am i so hot? all my outfits look good on me people always contemplate how iā€™ve never looked bad in a single piece of clothing. Ive gotten told i should model more times than i can count.
Itā€™s like i was perfectly sculpted by the gods, everything is perfect from my boobs to my stomach to my ass to my šŸ± there is no imperfection on my body, not to mention how my arms and legs are seriously so perfect.
my stomach is as flat as can be, my abs are perfect, my chest is the perfect size, perky, full and all my outfits make the girls look SO good. They sit SO pretty and gain alot of traction and jealousy. My butt is the perfect size, with the most gorgeous shape, that look good with everything I wear. My kitty is so so gorgeous and so so pretty. I am the perfect height with my legs as smooth and as gorgeous as ever. My posture is like no other, everyone envies how all aspects of my body are so immaculate.
My skin all round my body is clear and free from blemishes and bruises.
I have the type of body that is deemed ā€œimpossibleā€ and that positivity posts tell other girls not to strive for because itā€™s simply unattainable.
i have everyoneā€™s dream body, everyone uses me as a template as to what body they want.
I have people joking around with me telling me to ā€œsit stillā€ so they can take a picture of me and show it to a surgeon lmao
I have men (and women) saying if their girl ainā€™t built like me they donā€™t want her (but i mean come on guys, they canā€™t all be as perfect as me šŸ¤­)
my body makes boysā€™ minds go blank and girls deciding whether they wanna be me or be with me can be so confusing
people make workouts so that others can achieve my body type, they ask for my routine my diet. But really a lot of it is my perfect genetics.
Donā€™t get me wrong, iā€™m a total foodie, but i can eat anything i want without getting bloated and gaining weight, people ask me how i do it, but again just perfect genes. I get compliments on night outs countless of times. My name and my number being asked for multiple times is just a normal part of going out at this point.
I donā€™t have to restrict what i eat and go through unhealthy routes to look as good as i do, im so so healthy
I honestly just feel so good, my body is so perfect, I am so so confident and i feel so so happy with my perfect body, even my skin doesnā€™t act up and thereā€™s not a single thing I would change.
very obnoxious, i know, but who wouldnā€™t be with my sculpted body
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inspo pics: my wife mikaela testa
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heavenbarnes Ā· 5 months ago
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The way olderbf!simon and reader met is so cute even if itā€™s cliche, because I donā€™t see that man interacting with anyone unless heā€™s forced to lmao. If youā€™re up to it, could you maybe do a drabble on how the beginning/talking stage of their relationship goes? This man probs has to rehearse what heā€™s going to say 25 times (literally me) and still fumbles over his words but reader is still just šŸ˜ yes this is the man Iā€™m going to marry
they definitely needed a meet cute to me cause honestly? where are their paths ever going to cross without manual intervention? šŸ«¶šŸ¼
after you get that ā€œitā€™s simonā€ text from older bf!simon itā€™s you that actually has to make the first move.
thatā€™s not to say he doesnā€™t text you or anything, god when doesnā€™t he text you?
at all odd hours and just about anything-
ā€œat the supermarketā€
ā€œwhat you watching? iā€™m watching top gearā€
ā€œwhatā€™s your favourite colour?ā€
ā€œiā€™m at the gymā€
you were a little confused at first by how abrupt and to-the-point his messages could be.
and then you remembered that this was the same guy who prefers a grunt to the common conversation, he probably thought he was doing great.
so when you were getting in your own head about why he hadnā€™t asked you out yet, you also remembered that this was the same guy who thought he could fuck up a cappuccino.
he was probably- scared?
whatever it was, you realised if you wanted to see him as bad as you did, you were going to have to pony up and ask yourself.
ā€œdid you want to maybe get dinner sometime?ā€
he called you.
no sooner had the ā€˜seenā€™ shown up, he was calling you.
ā€œuh, hello? simon?ā€
ā€œare yā€™forreal?ā€
excuse me?
if anyone else had asked you that question you probably wouldā€™ve scoffed and hung up.
he was lucky he was so hunky.
and subtly insecure.
ā€œyes, iā€™d like to get dinner with youā€
he paused, a quiet moment passing between the two of you with only a little shuffling in the background of his line.
and a little shouting in the distance.
was he on base?
ā€œyes pleaseā€
youā€™d been a little distracted trying to pick any little bits of information you could (more than just his favourite colour, itā€™s green by the way) that you didnā€™t get his response.
instead, you hummed a little ā€˜huh?ā€™
ā€œiā€™d like tā€™get dinner withā€™ya, yes pleaseā€
ā€œoh- great, i can text you some details?ā€
ā€œyeah, iā€™d like thatā€
you werenā€™t really sure how to end the call or why heā€™d even called in the first place- but he wrapped it up with a few mumbles.
ā€œjusā€™ wanted to hear yā€™say it, wanted tā€™make sureā€
he shows up at dinner without a mask on and youā€™re sure youā€™re staring up at him like heā€™s made of moonlight but you canā€™t find it within yourself to care.
fuck heā€™s handsome.
and broad, the buttoned shirt heā€™s wearing just stretches over his arms where heā€™s rolled the sleeves to his elbows.
borderline pornographic.
you try to shut your own mind up, realising all the manā€™s done is open the restaurant door for you and youā€™re literally have salacious thoughts about him.
have some decorum!
he pulls out your seat for you but insists on sitting with his back to a wall and a line of sight to the door. you donā€™t mind, it means the light behind him virtually makes him glow.
fuck heā€™s handsome.
his voice is so deep you have to lean in on the table to hear him and all it means is you can smell his cologne and feel the heat radiating off of him.
when he locks eyes with the waiter he does a subtle little flick of his fingers and the manā€™s heading right for him- he really exudes an air of dominance.
if you donā€™t marry this man you might die.
he asks you a lot of questions and seems genuinely surprised when you ask ā€˜and you?ā€™ after every one.
surprised that somebody would care.
he answers with an endearing honesty and you feel all the better for knowing he prefers tea to coffee and starts his day with a cold shower.
his hand fidgets on the table part way through dessert and you have to ask whatā€™s wrong.
ā€œyā€™got a little somethinā€™ thereā€
he gestures to the corner of his mouth. it isnā€™t lost on you that his fingers immediately go back to flexing around the table cloth.
your hand doesnā€™t even move to wipe your mouth, your eyes soften just a little as you speak instead.
ā€œyou can get it if you want?ā€
his heart all but stops.
big hand rising to your face, fingers cupping your jaw as his thumb wipes the smudge of cream from the corner of your mouth.
he brings his thumb to your mouth when your tongue peeks out to lick the tip of it.
simonā€™s knee hits the underside of the table.
and you giggle.
fuck heā€™s handsome.
reluctantly, he lowers his hand but leaves it on your side of the table so you can hold it. his skin feels rough but he thinks itā€™s never been softer than when youā€™re holding it.
you both opt to walk home (hand still in hand) and youā€™ve never felt safer. you spend the entire walk talking about nothing and everything and you could scream when you end up at your front door.
it does allow you both to linger, neither one of you wanting to call it a night quite yet.
simon seems good at lingering, at yearning, at putting off what he doesnā€™t and does want.
so, like you were the one to make the first move-
youā€™re the one to make the second.
(his tongue feels great on yours)
you go to bed alone that night and it makes the most sense but it also fucking sucks because you know-
you know what you want.
and what you want is currently walking home beneath streetlights with the biggest smile heā€™s had this side of enlistment.
you accept the fact youā€™ll need to take things slow, that he obviously needs time and a lot of reassurance and youā€™d hate to push him too far with your own desire and-
and your phone buzzes.
ā€œcoffee tomorrow morning?ā€
ā€œyes pleaseā€
the talking stage really doesnā€™t last long.
not when youā€™re kicking your feet in bed and hugging your phone to your chest.
not when johnny texts simon asking how the date went and heā€™s responding ā€˜not bad, might be in loveā€™
talking stage doesnā€™t last long but everything else does.
itā€™s simply a doorway into a long and happy life.
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il-miele-che-scrive Ā· 6 months ago
Text
Lando Norris and [Y/n] Wolff are an on-and-off thing, fans think they're all good after [Y/n] releases a song supposedly about Lando, but they forget he's not the only Brit on the grid.
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username1 HE LAUGHS AT ALL MY JOKES
ā†³username2 AND HE SAYS I'M SO AMERICAN
username3 sorry but in which part is y/n american?
ā†³username1 her mother, Y/m/n Y/l/n, is American and Y/n spent most of her life in the US after Y/m/n and Toto divorced
username3 oooh good to know, thank you!!
username4 I'm so happy to know Y/n and Lando are still together after all
ā†³username5 But they were never official
username4 But it's obvious! They were seen on dates many times, hanging out around Monaco, not to mention every time Y/n is in the paddock she spends more time in the McLaren garage than Mercedes'
username6 my fav nepo baby <3
username7 damn Lando must be doing a good job lol
username8 Y/n finally released a love song, everybody thank Lando
username9 Weren't there rumours about them being over forever just during the winter break?
ā†³username10 Toto would find a way to get Lando kicked out of F1 if he ever broke Y/n's heart lmao
username9 What does Toto gotta do with McLaren?
username10 He's rich? Lol
username9 And? Stroll's daddy is rich as well yet he can't make idk Verstappen disappear lol rich doesn't mean he can do anything he wants
username11 Guys I have a bad feeling, we actually haven't seen them together in a long time , I'm afraid they might be actually broken up for good
ā†³username6 I wouldn't read too much into it, Y/n studies in Monaco so she isn't able to attend races right now
username11 You sure? Y/n hasn't made a single appearance since the season started
username6 The season started in the middle of her uni year lol you ever thought of that?
ā†³username7 this is literally a love song, how are we even wondering if they broke up? she wouldn't release this if they were done
username6 THIS!! I feel like this song is a confirmation from Y/n that all is good, maybe she was tired of people talking if they're broken up or not
username5 Then why don't they make it official?
username6 that's not a question i can answer
username12 "I'll go anywhere he goes" then why aren't you attending races miss girl? Education can wait
ā†³username2 lmao it literally can't wait
username13 "the books you read" ma'am, Lando looks like he hasn't touched a single book his whole life
ā†³username12 And it's not like he dresses that well either, his style is nothing special
Ā· Ā· ā”€ā”€ā”€ā”€ā”€ā”€ Ā·š–„øĀ· ā”€ā”€ā”€ā”€ā”€ā”€ Ā· Ā·
y/n's texts with Lando
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Ā· Ā· ā”€ā”€ā”€ā”€ā”€ā”€ Ā·š–„øĀ· ā”€ā”€ā”€ā”€ā”€ā”€ Ā· Ā·
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username1 All men are the same I swear
ā†³username2 nooo I swear there are good ones, but that's just not Lando
username3 excuse me sir, y/n has just written a love song about you
username4 NOOOO THE WAY HE PUT HIS HAND ON THE GIRL'S LOWER BACK
ā†³username1 Him and Y/n are done frfr šŸ˜­
username5 Do we know who the girl is?
ā†³f1gossip Not yet, but I'm sure we'll know in no time
username6 Wtf is wrong with you, it's not her fault Lando can't focus on one woman
username7 But there's no way she didn't know about him and Y/n ;)
username6 There is/was no "Lando and Y/n", they never confirmed a relationship
username8 He's just won in Miami, I was hoping they'd make it official after that :(
ā†³username9 Sameeee it would be so cool
ā†³username10 Literally same, it'd be perfect
username11 Lando Norris, you disappoint me again
ā†³username12 at this point Y/n must be used to that lmao poor girl I hope she finds someone better
username13 WHAT DOES TOTO SAY ABOUT IT?
ā†³username3 Whats he supposed to say? Y/n is a grown woman, stop treating her like a baby
username14 I swear if we see Y/n back again with him after THIS I'm gonna break some dishes
ā†³username15 Yeah I hope she'll find some self respect and finally leave his ass
username16 Y/n I beg you to leave him, the d can't be THAT fire
yn_wolff posted on instastory
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landonorris replied to your story:
ā†³mind if i join?
yn_wolff:
yeah lol don't join
landonorris:
i was gonna sail today anyway, what if we do it together?
hey i think i see u thru my window who are u with?
yn_wolff:
with dad and susie
stalker ass creep don't get anywhere near me today
landonorris:
I see another man
who is he?
*seen*
y/n answer me who is he
is that russell?
fucking russell wtf is he doing there
he better keep his hands away from you
what the fuck why are u hugging him
yn_wolff:
i'm hugging george and I'll do something worse if you don't stop with ur stalker shit
landonorris:
what the fuck do you mean y/n
yn_wolff:
don't worry, I'm sure that blonde girl would love to give you a hug, you should go see her
landonorris:
she's just a friend
y/n you're mine
she doesn't mean shit to me
don't show my texts to russell
yn_wolff:
Hello it's George, stop texting my girlfriend or we'll have to tell Toto
landonorris:
girlfriend?
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username1 Right after? The Lando thing was yesterday
ā†³f1gossip Yeah, and this was this morning
username2 Whats Y/n doin with George? šŸ¤Ø
ā†³username3 in case you forgot she's y/n WOLFF, the daughter of Mercedes' boss which GR drives for
username4 After seeing Y/n's story I hoped she's finally spending some time with Lando but...
ā†³username5 Have u seen what Lando posted? šŸ˜‚
username4 What did he post?
username5 Oh apparently he deleted it already lol it was a story
username5 Anyway he posted like a lowkey thirst trap pic and the music he added was Tumblr girls by g eazy lmao
username4 Boohoo consequences of his own actions catching up
username5 Yeahh and he especially chose the verse that goes like "fucking off and on, always stop and go, probably got someone, choose not to know"
username6 Guys, I say we take in consideration the possibility of 'so american' being about George
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landonorris Monaco weekend šŸ‡²šŸ‡Øā˜€
view all comments
username1 Why do I feel like he posted this just so people think Y/n was there with him even though there's not a single pic of her? šŸ˜‚
ā†³username2 Bro why he want her when he can't have her anymore?
username3 get over it, it's your fault
username4 I feel like he's tryna say "Hey guys look, Y/n took these pics" but why would we believe it šŸ’€
ā†³username1 Exactly!! We all KNOW she most likely spent the day with George
username5 Now all i think about when i see Lando is the story he deleted šŸ˜­
ā†³username6 totally hahah he literally called Y/n a bitch but also admitted that he can't help wanting other girls
username7 Wait when did this happen? When did he say that?
username6 he never said that, it's lyrics of a song he posted but quickly deleted
username5 He immediately regretted hahah
username8 @/maxfewtrell Tell Lando to behave, why are you even helping him with this bullshit?
username9 It's too late, you had your chance FOR HALF A YEAR and still chose to lead Y/n on, now she got someone else and you're being petty
ā†³username10 She let him lead her on for half a year? Damn it he should pay for her therapy
username9 I feel like she really hoped she can change him but realized "if you can't change the man, change the man"
username10 Very accurate lmao
username11 Guys, I believe Y/n and Lando were a thing for much more time than half a year, it was going on for at least a year, they were just very secretive about it
username9 Well, good for her to finally get out of this shit, she deserves so much better and I hope George will give her that
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username1 I bet Toto loves his new son in law
ā†³username2 He has to be very relieved to know Y/n chose George eventually
username3 We still don't know if they're dating, remember George drives for Mercedes
username4 I really hope Lando is crying rn
username5 Now Lando for sure can't trick us into thinking Y/n was with him lmao
username6 I love George for saving Y/n
username7 I love them, they're all so old money, Y/n and George are a great match
username8 MY DELULU IS BECOMING TRULULU
username9 This is our confirmation that so american is about George
username10 I feel like Y/n upgraded at some point but at one point also downgraded
ā†³username2 Let's not talk about it, we should be happy for her and George, at least he won't treat her like an option
username11 George is literally THE MAN for Y/n, I'm so glad she finally realized that
ā†³username12 Chill, let's not assume stuff before we have any statement from them, we all know where assuming can get us
username13 This is my old money dream
username14 HEAR ME OUT but I'd actually love to see George and Y/n get married one day
ā†³username12 THIS is exactly where assuming can get us
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yn_wolff Oh you'll like him, he's really kind andhe's funny like you sometimes, and I found someone I really like maybe for the first time
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username1 I'm so happy for them I'm gonna cry
lewishamilton Invite me next time!
ā†³georgerussell63 Toto said it was family only, I'm sorry, Lewis!
ā†³yn_wolff Ask Ferrari to invite you wtf
username1 lmao only Y/n Wolff can talk to a 7 times world champion like that
username2 YESSSS IT'S OFFICIAL
ā†³username1 Y/n is officially free from Lando!!
username3 I love the vibes, I love the fact that Y/n is dating a driver from her dad's team, I love the fact that Toto accepts it
ā†³username4 He must've been going CRAZY when Y/n had the situationship with Lando
username3 Absolutely and I think we all know about Toto's anger issues lol
susie_wolff šŸ’
ā†³yn_wolff šŸ©·
ymn_yln I hope George knows he's welcome in America too šŸ˜Š
ā†³yn_wolff Of course!! We have a plane on Fridayā¤ļø
ā†³georgerussell63 I wanted to take Y/n to Miami so we can visit after the GP, but she refused šŸ˜”
yn_wolff Shut up I have uni!!
georgerussell63 It can't be more important than me meeting your mum
lilymhe Beautiful couple šŸ˜š
ā†³yn_wolff @/susie_wolff it's about you and dadšŸ’•
lilymhe Might as well be šŸ˜‚
username3 Susie and Toto literally are Y/n and George in like 20 years lmao
alex_albon Finally, no more secrets
ā†³username2 ALBONO KNEW?
username4 Phew I can't imagine how much stress it was for him šŸ˜‚
username5 George just MIGHT be the guy which so american is about...
username6 Something about this relationship makes me feel so at peace and I don't even know them in person
charles_leclerc Someone check on LandošŸ˜‚
ā†³yn_wolff Charles šŸ’€
username5 Is he wrong tho
username7 I laughed harder than I should've
ā†³username8 Betting all my money he's regretting all his actions
username9 As he should tbh imagine leading sb on for about a year, people who do this are evil
username8 Yeah, that was so wrong of him
username10 No but I need to know what books George reads tho
landonorris šŸ‘
ā†³yn_wolff Stalker ass you don't even follow me
ā†³username4 THE AUDACITY
landonorris I hope you'll have fun while it lasts
ā†³yn_wolff YOU'RE the one to speak about lasting
ā†³georgerussell63 Not your place to worry about itšŸ™‚
username5 THE EMOJI MAKES IT SO FUNNY FOR NO REASON
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username1 "THE WAY YOU DRESS, THE BOOKS YOU READ" he dresses wellāœ… he looks like he readsāœ…
username2 He's the perfect man for Y/n frfr
username3 I'm so happy that it's not about Lando after all, I was like girl he's treating you like shit and you write a love song??
username4 I've been waiting for it for YEARS
username5 So they had a thing for no longer than since the end of winter break and already made it official
ā†³username2 Something Lando couldn't do for almost a whole ass year lmao
username6 But have y'all noticed how obsessed with Y/n Lando is suddenly?
ā†³username1 of course he is, that's how it works, he's been rejected so his fragile ego is hurt
username3 He's even liking fans' edits of Y/nšŸ˜­man is manifesting hard but I doubt anything can help him
username7 Good to know George's hands are warmer than hell, they don't look like it
username8 Girlie deserved a man who doesn't have commitment issues aka is a real man, I'm glad she got him
username9 Y'all think Lando reads Y/n x reader fanfics?šŸ‘€
ā†³username1 Totally
ā†³username2 I can imagine it
ā†³username3 He'll do it until his delulu becomes trululu (it'll never happenšŸ”„)
username10 I'll laugh so hard if now Lando will now stop fooling around with other girls šŸ˜‚
username11 Can't wait for a whole album full of love songs about him
ā†³username12 I don't think we'll have to wait for long
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