#what is the value of my time and effort. what is it. how do you figure this shit out

[matt0044]

Pokemon Heroes: The Black & White Chapter One

Despite his best efforts, Oshawott felt pins and needles all over when he stepped forward from Professor Aurea Juniper and onto the battlefield. It was the end of a busy Saturday afternoon for the Juniper Research Laboratory when time was found for a last minute match to go over a few basics. Ever since the Sea Otter Pokemon learned a rookie Trainer had selected him as their starter Pokemon, anxious didn't begin to describe his state of mind. Oshawott's body trembled in a deadly emotional cocktail of anticipation and fear. The sight of Snivy didn't help.

On the other side, a sharp-eyed Snivy stepped up on the other side of the indoor battlefield while taking in the sunlight through the clear roof above. She folded her eyes and shot a haughty look of disapproval towards Oshawott. She scoffed when she saw the cringe-worthy stern expression he was putting on. [Who do you believe your trying to con, Water Boy?] the Grass Snake Pokemon asked rhetorically, loathing such a display of posturing. She felt it her duty to remind him of his place.

[Slice her to ribbon, buddy!] Tepig oinked for his best friend from the sidelines, hopping about with energy to spare. His snout exhales steam like a engine bursting a safety value or two. He put on a determined expression like Oshawott's but could see that his friend's confident front was wavering and felt guilty for it. Even if he kept Snivy from hurting physically, her sharp tongue dealt enough damage with her insults alone.

Summary: “Fourteen-year-old Hilda, a girl with the gift to talk to Pokemon, becomes a Trainer and receives her starter Pokemon, an anxiety ridden Oshawott. Both hope to be worthy of each other's partnership and soon learn that battling is only half of their troubles. Can they face their inner demons before darker forces close in on them? Furthermore... who's this boy who shares Hilda's gift?”

This is an adaptation of Pokemon Black & White that I’ve been outlining for... years. It’s something that is based on Pokemon but also pulls inspiration from other media that have stuck with me be it Anime, cartoon or even live action.

While I have a clear vision for the story and how it’ll end, I hope to surprise even myself as I develop my characters. Many of them reflect parts of my life and struggles over the years while making them my own. It’s not just about Pokemon but what it means to have friend and a family you build on your own.

Broadly, it’s the same as the game but with Hilda being an actual character along with her Pokemon, you can expect expansions to the story if not major deviations. It will follow multiple volumes or “Chapters” as I call them with one story arc in each of them. This way I can take breaks between each larger installment.

In any case, dive right in.

Based on actual events

[tozettastone]

I finished reading "Gentlemen of Uncertain Fortune: How Younger Sons Made Their Way in Jane Austen's England" by Rory Muir.

This is a history book that uses examples from Jane Austen novels and also from her relatives and other temporally colocated Georgians to illustrate the careers of non-inheriting gentlemen in the late 18th and early 19th centuries.

So it opens by asking "if the Bennet sisters had all been boys, what would they have done?" and ends by speculating on the answer to that question. In the middle, there's a chapter for each category of gentlemanly profession, ranging from the Church of England to the East India Company.

I do think the framework of "Jane Austen's England" and references to her books is a cynical effort to make the text that Muir actually wanted to write more easily marketed.

But I nevertheless enjoyed nearly everything about this book:

Its scope is narrow enough to feel actually interesting and not so shallow as some other history books

I love the little excerpts from journals and letters that illustrate how these professional men wrote (and spelled!) and how they felt in their own voices

The arrangement of chapters felt organic and orderly and easily understood, and the writing is sedate, unobtrusive and comprehensible, without being stiff or boring

I love the inflation index and the efforts to make the salaries discussed make more sense to modern readers, even in the broadest strokes, and the occasional aside that described what kind of life such a salary might get you

It was interesting and valuable to read reflections on what motives may have caused certain families to choose certain professions, especially as regards the value of connections and patronage

My chief complaint is that the book is very literally falling apart, although this fault cannot fairly be attributed to its writer. It is a recent publication but I had pages just come out no fewer than four times. Rory Muir may be blameless in this scenario but, Yale University Press, I am putting you on notice. Jeez.

Anyway, I think this book has achieved precisely what the writer wanted it to, and it was easy to read to boot. Good stuff.

(This review is also on StoryGraph! You're very welcome to come and join me if you have an account.)

[sydmarch]

it was so stupidly difficult to find any nutritionist who has experience with arfid & takes insurance so after having to go through all these referrals my therapist sent me & jumping through hoops I lowkey hate the lady lmao feels like such a waste of time & energy

[lynbeck]

I need someone else to decide commission prices for me because I feel straight up allergic to the idea of assigning a monetary value to my work when I can't even guarantee what style I draw in

[pet2theking]

This is super delicious and actually reminds me of my rice making tip. I almost exclusively use an electric rice cooker (it's easy, does the job while I'm cooking at the pan, and takes so little effort. I literally wrote the measurements for the rice and water in sharpie on the side of it), but that isn't the tip and this works fine with rice cooked in a pot as well.

First you gotta measure your rice, then wash it and set it aside (like just have it sit in your rice cooker or pot). Then leave it to sit, it's fine.

Take the pan you're about to cook your other food in on low to medium heat, add a fat (butter, vegetable oil, ghee, bacon grease, etc), when that's warm add some crushed garlic and/or diced onions (you can get diced onions in a frozen bag, in my area it's relatively cheap), let that sit a bit to caramelize (onions take longer to caramelize than garlic, so if you're doing both add the garlic a while after the onions), then toss in some seasonings that will work with whatever you're planning to eat the rice with. That last part is insanely subjective and relative to what you're eating, but literally just some crushed pepper flakes and cumin is a fine place to start. Then, you'll have this sorta fragrant, spiced oil on your pan. Add all this to the rice, then add the water and a pinch of salt and cook it.

The pan you just used? Cook your other food on it before cleaning the oil and seasonings off, if you need to add a bit more oil/fat to the pan but you've already still got some seasoning in whatever oil didn't pour off easily into the rice, and if needed you can add more.

The rest of your cooking just continues like normal. I'm sorry I don't have a bunch of measurements here, I learned most of my cooking from my grandma and she did a lot by more vague directions and making adjustments as needed (like everything was a pinch), so I just had to learn to do the same. Mainly, you don't wanna add an overwhelming pile of spices or a ton of garlic / onion, just enough to give the oil some flavor before it goes in the rice, and you'll probably adjust how much you add each time as you try to dial in the flavor you want.

I usually do this when I'm gonna have some stir fried meat and veggies with my rice, and it makes those bites of just rice after I've eaten everything on top taste even better (or when it's a really rough month for my wallet, I'll do this so if a meal is almost only rice it tastes less bland). I'll also do this if I'm making curry, but I feel like explaining how to make curry should be a different post. Hopefully one of y'all will see this and get some value from it.

kill the shift manager in your brain

[nullcoast]

Why can't we just love eachother and help eachother and cry for eachother when we hurt and laugh for eachother when we're happy. What happened to radical acceptance and beauty. Why are we self-separating using white suppremist ideas about identity. The idea someone needs some pure property to be worthy of adopting a community is point blank a white suprematist idea. Where is the understanding of mistake and pain.

We are so alone and isolated in this generation and we are playing directly into the interests of those in power by further self-separating. Focus on some important fucking shit.

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

analyzing hermes, emet-selch, the ancients and ascians, how they're written, and the fandom's reaction to them be like hm. emet-selch's role in this fuckery is compounded by the fact that his backstory as a genocide survivor is incongruous with his ruling a huge genocidal colonialist world power in the present da [ANTISEMITISM BLAST]

[coffeeandinsanityy]

fucked up parents and their fucked up parenting

[dan-crimes]

Mfs can't understand a blunt mf they always gotta try and read between the lines or straight up deny the words you're saying and deny how you feel

[noxtivagus]

woah i. wrote a lot.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

"if only i can prove enough y through my efforts at x then z will be guaranteed" so true that But It Won't Be Guaranteed Actually. so true that accepting as much means x can be appreciated in its own right

[cheswirls]

i actually still wanna do chapter notes for this fic so bad but i think it'd be better to do a condensed version once i'm 100% done editing. or, still sectioned off by chapter, but meant to be read thru after finishing the fic (so pointing out repeating elements or all the hints to a certain plot point etc etc - things that will spoil to someone still reading but would be cool to go over in-depth w/ ppl who read til the end)

all of my notes for this one while i was writing the 1st draft span over 50 pages at the start of the doc and i haven't deleted any since i started editing so. it's not like i don't have a wealth of material to highlight certain things from. and i like doing over-analysis anyway

[wriokitty]

khaenriahn princess reader x knight capitano ; jealous capitano ; implied hidden relationship ; pre cataclysm ; royal au ; capitano is not cursed yet so his skin is supple and youthful ; banter and fluff

“There is word, my lady,” his voice says lowly. You hum, reaching over to grab at his helmet. Capitano gently captures your hand before you can, pulling it away from its path to uncover his face. There’s a fleeting frown on your lips, but it’s gone as soon as he brings it up and presses a small, delicate kiss to the knuckles through the dark cloth that hides him from you.

“Oh? What of, my dear knight?” You ask curiously. Something tells him it’s almost mockingly innocent.

“That there is a rather…determined prince seeking your hand in marriage.”

Sometimes, it feels unfair that very rarely do you get to see the face hidden underneath the armor, but you suppose you don’t need to see Capitano to know exactly what emotion is twisted in his face. You fight back an amused grin—his voice tells you all you need to know.

You’re certain he must taste his own bitterness as the words fall from his tongue.

“Such grand news,” you gasp, “and yet…you speak with such hesitation. Has this news not brought you joy, my captain?”

“Forgive me, my lady,” he says unamused, voice low and just shy of a grumble, “I value your wellbeing above all. Should a capable prince ask for your hand, I would be most delighted if that is what you accept.”

“You do not sound delighted at the idea,” you tease.

“Perhaps my lady has not given me reason to think she would be interested in such a proposition,” he mutters.

This time, his voice does, in fact, sound the slightest bit petulant—like a child who sulks after being scolded. His tone is usually one that is far too courteous. Painfully so, in fact. (You’ve spent a good number of exasperating moments insisting he be more casual with you. You reap the rewards of those efforts few and far in between). But now, he betrays himself with a flicker of frustration, far too evidently for even you to miss.

He realizes too late how childish the words must sound spoken so irritably. You can tell that he clenches his jaw, seeing the tension even under the mask as he forces himself to still the bitterness spreading through his veins.

“Tell me, my dear knight,” you grin. You can imagine the unhappy lift of his brow as you speak, “what makes you so certain I would be disinterested in such an enticing offer?”

“It seems my assumptions were incorrect,” he grunts, straightening his back before promptly adding, “forgive me, my lady. I must see to rather urgent military affairs. I shall be seeing you—”

“Jealousy is unbecoming on you, Sir Capitano,” you quip, your hand grabbing at his wrist, tugging him towards you. He stills, stiff as a statue as your hand reaches for his helmet once more.

This time, he doesn’t stop you. He allows the lithe, delicate fingers he knows so well to grab at the edge of his helmet, carefully tugging it off before his face slowly reveals itself to you. You smile, cupping a cheek before tracing your thumb along the soft skin of his face.

“I am not jealous,” he says stubbornly.

“Haven’t they taught you never to lie to a princess?” You hum, stepping closer. His lips twitch just a fraction at the edges before two strong arms wrap around your waist, pulling you towards him. Flush against his chest. Tucked right against his heart. Pressed so close, you almost wonder if you could feel his heart beating through the armor if you paid close enough attention.

“You torment me, my lady,” he murmurs quietly, “I fear I cannot accept this arrangement. It would tear through my soul to watch you be wed to another.”

“Then do not watch me,” you whisper.

You have seen his eyes flicker with soft, warm affection countless times. There is beauty underneath the helmet he wears so often, beauty that not many are so fortunate to see. You see it often, though. In private, hidden moments that he affords you. In the quiet of your chambers where the maids cannot disturb you. In the corners of the palace where no one can interrupt your fleetingly lingering touches and longing gazes.

Your hands hold his face, slowly pulling him closer as you study every precious slope across his skin. The slightly jagged curve of his nose. The plumpness of his lips. The slant of his sharp cheekbones. Every feature you know by heart, and revisit in your dreams.

You smile lightly at the thought of his jealousy, as guilty as you should feel for teasing him. Your knight—and you, his beloved princess.

“Do you wish to marry a prince?” He asks, leaning into your neck, breathing in your scent as his nose trails up your jaw until it reaches your cheek. Your breath hitches. His lips quirk into a smile.

“I wish to marry someone who owns my heart,” you say breathlessly, “prince or not.”

“Perhaps what you need is someone who is far more capable of carrying the weight of your heart. You possess rather discerning taste—it is not easy to please you, my lady.”

You huff, glaring at him from the corner of your eyes as you ask, “do you mean to call me difficult?”

“Among other things,” he chuckles. There’s a light, teasing trail of kisses pressed to your skin, leading straight to your lips. Capitano knows exactly what he’s doing, though—he stops just at the corner of them, making you pout as you try to lean in and close the gap.

He grins smugly, pulling away just enough to create distance between your mouths.

“You should not toy with a princess,” you say, displeased.

He hums, rubbing the small of your back as he counters, “and you should not toy with the heart of a man devoted to you.”

“Forgive me, my dear knight,” you murmur, gently bringing his face closer as your hands cradle his face once more, “I shall not torment you with such teasing again.”

“I am most grateful, your highness,” he fights back a chuckle.

Jealousy is unbecoming on someone as noble as the captain of your military forces. You like the way it looks on him just a little, anyway. Love the way his posture is more rigid and his voice is sharper when forced to consider the possibility of your heart yearning elsewhere. Enjoy the way he holds you tighter and closer as cool armor steals your warmth.

“Shall I tell this prince I am not interested?” You ask with a knowing look.

He hums thoughtfully, a smug smile playing on his lips as he replies, “no, I think I’d rather witness the expression of his highness when he realizes his charms hold no sway over you—a rare defeat for a man so certain of his allure.”

“Someday I shall marry you, my dear knight,” you whisper. Finally, with a softened look, he leans in to kiss you. Slow. Delicate. So gentle, it almost feels like you are one whisper from the wind away from falling apart.

“I look forward to it, my lady. Not even celestia could stop me from claiming your hand.”

————————

The last line is a big rip if you know what I mean 😔

[mikkeneko]

I've been musing a bit on that one post that went around during the recent holiday season, to which someone added their family tradition of Present Practice. My god! Imagine actually telling kids what behavior is expected, instead of expecting them to intuit it and punish them when they get it wrong!!

Separate post because this topic is a little tangential to that, but I think it does a great job of unearthing one of our very well-hidden internal biases, which goes as follows:

Good people don't need to be taught.

A good person (in this case, a good child) shouldn't need to be told to be gracious and grateful when given a gift. A good child should just know that a holiday tradition of gift-giving is a social performance to strengthen family bonds and that personal preference or genuine reactions are secondary to that performance. A good child should just know how to value gifts, how to express thanks, how to praise and compliment. No caretakers in their lives should need to put any effort into instructing or modeling these things.

Good people should just know how to be good. If they were really Ontologically Good, their inherent goodness would simply intuitively guide them to correct behaviors. If they can't do that on their own, in a vacuum, in the absence of cues, that's a sign of their inherent moral lack.

.

.

...Which all sounds very reasonable and obvious, and surely a mistake that only fundie christian families would make! Except that people in the social justice sphere also do this all the time. It's not anybody's job to educate you. It's 2024, how do you not know this already? If you were a Good Person, you wouldn't need to be taught. You would simply intuit the correct philosophies and gravitate to them according to your superior internal moral compass.

If you were a Good Person, you would already know that everything you were taught by your family and/or background was wrong. You should have rejected it already. You should have cut off your family, your heritage, everything about your childhood and upbringing that was Bad and Wrong. You should have known it was all a lie.

If you were a Good Person, you should be able to find the correct way yourself. You should be able to seek out the proper educational resources, and distinguish them from bad advice leading you astray, and make sense of them all according to your own internal moral code.

If you were a Good Person, you would have found your way by the proper, dignified, official channels, not by reading a comic or watching anime. You shouldn't need entertainment or art to guide you. You should just know.

And if someone can't do these things on their own, in a vacuum, in the absence of cues, that's a sign of their inherent moral lack.

[wormgremlin]

People who ask others their pronouns are often ill prepared to cope with people answering with anything outside the anticipated answers -- he, she, OR they, and often having already decided on one (or a lot of times it isn't even a question asked in good faith, rather box checking and virtue flagging).

Being a good ally is not asking someone their pronouns and going oh you're nb, they/them. It's taking whatever the fuck comes out of the other person's mouth and respecting it.

Sorry babe but if me saying I use "any and all" pronouns stresses you out, that's honestly a you problem. It's not my job to pick a "true" or "most preferred" pronoun for you to call me by when my preference is, in fact, use everything chaotically and change it up often.

If you want to ask for clarification on how I'd like various pronouns used, that's fine. But saying to my face "ah I always get stressed about any pronouns - what do I call you"? Just rude tbh. I told you my preference, figure it out. It/they/he/she/xe/zir/fae/rat/bitch/ass/motherfucker I don't care, it's not my problem.

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

> posts a fic i'm proud of about dark subject matter to do with five and his abuse, which came from a very personal place, on AO3

> gets a comment

> it is, Course, a hate comment from an anti, demanding on anon to know why i would 'spend my value as a writer who's read Legacies' to write it

> roasts their ass like a thanksgiving turkey and immediately goes to write more of the thing