#which while not untrue. what the ever living fuck. a fucking queer person whose pronouns i respected made a purposeful effort to misgender | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

wormgremlin · 2 years ago

Text

People who ask others their pronouns are often ill prepared to cope with people answering with anything outside the anticipated answers -- he, she, OR they, and often having already decided on one (or a lot of times it isn't even a question asked in good faith, rather box checking and virtue flagging).

Being a good ally is not asking someone their pronouns and going oh you're nb, they/them. It's taking whatever the fuck comes out of the other person's mouth and respecting it.

Sorry babe but if me saying I use "any and all" pronouns stresses you out, that's honestly a you problem. It's not my job to pick a "true" or "most preferred" pronoun for you to call me by when my preference is, in fact, use everything chaotically and change it up often.

If you want to ask for clarification on how I'd like various pronouns used, that's fine. But saying to my face "ah I always get stressed about any pronouns - what do I call you"? Just rude tbh. I told you my preference, figure it out. It/they/he/she/xe/zir/fae/rat/bitch/ass/motherfucker I don't care, it's not my problem.

#ally #woke #thats not a question i feel comfortable answering or like to answer or something #oh im gonna teach this person a lesson #its not a trick #one of our professors is aggressively ish and forced me to announce my pronouns in a meeting one time. i said any pronouns.#she didnt know what to do with that. referred to me exclusively by she/her which is fine but then repeatedly referred to me as a woman...#had a conversation about how i dont think asking people their pronouns in a professional setting is a bad form of allyship.#she not even an hour later asked my pronouns. to any pronouns she went ...oh very uncomfortably and referred to me as she/her exclusively #both of which btw are cishet women who very proudly and publicly flaunt how good of allies they are and take diversity related positions #oh btw if it wasnt clear i go to professional school at a uc #so im surrounded by a lot of allies who always think they know best for the marginalized groups they decide to speak for #but also there is a lot of rampant transphobia especially amongst our faculty which are an active threat to trans students #all of course under a veneer of good allyship and caring about our marginalized populations #so one last story #i work a lot of access to care clinics. one of which they do icebreakers and we have to introduce our partner yada yada #partner asks my pronouns. to which i reply bc well no #there are a lot of faculty involved. a lot of students. a lot of people i neither know nor trust nor need to know that about me.#its not like they should refer to me by pronouns anyways. there are over 30 students there thats vague as shit.#anyways. idk what kinda stick they (bc they asked for me to use they/them and unlike them i am not a giant sack of dicks) had up their ass #but they did. so instead of respecting that or asking me to clarify. they announce to the group that i go by any pronouns #which while not untrue. what the ever living fuck. a fucking queer person whose pronouns i respected made a purposeful effort to misgender #me and get others to misgender me bc as a queer person surrounded by strangers and strange faculty a lot of whom i know are transphobes #underneath all their good ranbow flag bullshit #and i didnt feel safe. so rather than try to talk to me they went #which also rhe people at the clinic who do know me didnt blink an eye because *i genuinely do use any pronouns*#so yeah. fuck bad fake allyship. fuck young queers with sticks up their asses and narrow minded tunnel vision views of the world.#being a good ally isnt about interrogating people on their identity #its about accepting it at face value #my identity does not exist as a learning experience for you. it does not have to be within your grasp or comprehension.

15K notes · View notes