#what is the sum total of hugs she’s received in her life and why is it countable on her fingers

[kaftan]

I literally have not stopped being haunted by amy saying she just wanted someone to hug her one last time

[electronictimetravelmoose]

Being a Malfoy and dating Fred Weasley would include:

Warnings: mention of death

Wordcount: 2.1k

Requested by anon

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To start it all off you were Draco’s older sister by two years, so you are in the same years as them

Your parents love you even tho only your mom really shows it

You and Draco are also really close, you have been since you were kids and you two never really got around to play with other kids

Still it is only natural for siblings to say they hate each other and fight but you make up eventually

Growing up you already showed a strong talent in magic and your parents knew you would do great things someday, so it got even more exciting when you started your first year in Hogwarts

The Sorting Hat took quite long to decide where to put you, you would have fitted into Ravenclaw just as much as into Slytherin but in the end you decided on Slytherin (out of family reasons or being scared of your parents wasn’t quite sure)

While the sorting ceremony happened you just couldn’t take your eyes of the two wet, ginger haired boys talking and grinning at each other

You soon found out they were Fred and George Weasley and that they liked to wreak havoc but it just made them that more interesting

Over the next two years you grew a major crush on one of them and you could have smacked yourself for it

You were a Malfoy and Fred was a Weasley, or as your family and the other Slytherins liked to call them, a blood traitor

So you kept your mouth shut about it and admired him from afar

And then your little shit of a brother came to Hogwarts and figured it out in less than a week

“Really (Y/N), a Weasley?”

“Oh shut the fuck up you little ferret.”

It stayed between the two of you for the time being but he kept on bringing it up and annoying you with it

Time passed and the feelings only continued to grow even tho you rarely spoke a word to him

It took until your fifth year that the two of you became friends and that only because you covered for them

You were in the library studying for your upcoming transfiguration test when the two red haired boys burst in and took a table not far from you. You looked over and looked them over. They were both breathing heavily but smiling while getting their stuff as fast as possible out of their bags and onto the table. Fred glanced around and stopped when he spotted you. He gave you a wink and put his finger over his mouth in a ‘shhh’ motion before turning to his brother once again. You felt your face grew hot but you tried to ignore it and rolled your eyes, getting back to work. 

Not five minutes later the silence got disturbed again when Professor McGonagall came in looking rather angry. She immediately made her way over to the twins and gave them a look which screamed ‘you better not try anything’.

“Mister and Mister Weasley, what were the two of you thinking?” , the professor's usual strict voice was upped and you got a chill down your spine. You never wanted to be on the receiving end of that. 

“Professor McGonagall, we don’t know what you are talking about. We were here all afternoon.” , Fred answered first. “Yeah, we have been studying for the test tomorrow.” George followed up trying to make it sound more convincing.

“Oh really? Can someone confirm that?” Professor McGonagall crossed her arms and starred the boys down.

They looked at each other trying to figure something out but you broke the silence before them.

“I can vouch for them, Professor. I came here after Potions to study and they were already here studying as well.” Your voice was as calm as ever and you gave her a small smile when she turned to look at you. Fred and George gave you both shocked expressions behind the professors back but you didn’t acknowledge them and just continued looking at her. 

McGonagall looked at you closely before letting you all off the hook and leave. Even if she knew you were lying she couldn’t prove it and as soon as she was gone you let out a sigh of relief. That was horrible, you thought.

Well not so horrible after all because after that little ordeal you and the twins became friends and after some bribing you even started to help them with their pranks

If your feelings grew while only looking at him they now skyrocketed through the roof and sometimes you felt like you could throw up

You grew closer to him over the next year and that is when the yule ball came along

You didn’t get your hopes up on him asking you, the year before he had shown interest in Angelina Johnson so for you that was his obvious choice but to the surprise of most he asked you and you immediately said yes, even tho a bit shocked

That was the point where Draco told your parents about you and the Weasley and hell broke loose

Your father was totally against it and even threatened to take you out of Hogwarts and send you somewhere else, thankfully Narcissa could stop him from doing so

She didn’t have to say anything for you to know that she was against the building thing between you and Fred but she kept her mouth shut

For a while before the ball you thought to cancel it but you decided against it

You wanted it for so long that you wouldn’t let your family ruin it

After the ball you and Fred grew even closer but the relationship to your parents and Draco got pretty strained, especially when Draco started to talk down on you

It took a while until you and Fred would start to date but what was clear is that he had some kind of feelings for you as well

When the summer came after Voldemort returned everything turned to hell for you and it didn’t took much for you to leave

Seeing as how your parents and brother treated you and how the dark lord himself was in your home

You were scared for your life so running away was the only options, but you still tried to make Draco come with you, trying to show him how much danger he will and already is but he didn’t listen

Thanks to a little help from Fred and George you found a new home rather quickly

Some of the Weasleys were a bit weary but Molly greeted you with open arms and soon made you her second daughter

She heard so much from the twins and especially Fred about you that she could see why he wanted you to stay with him

As this was the time they moved into the Order of the Phoenix headquarters for the summer, so did you and through that you met your estranged uncle Sirius who you immediately bonded with

Since you were a kid you were much more upon to muggles and others that your parents told you, you should hate and that are less than the purebloods that you and your family are that you started to hate those ideas

It was one of the things that made you bond with him besides being a runaway and the treatment you got from your parents after doing something that displeased them

Over the summer a lot happened and being in so close proximity with Fred everyday gave you two the final kick to start date

Seeing as you all lived together in only such a given amount of space everybody knew within a few days, and they were fine with it

But as we know as soon as Sirius bonds with any given child they become his, so a little talk happened, but otherwise everything was great

To sum up the next hell year of school, Umbridge is the biggest bitch you have ever met and you wished she would burn like the pile of shit she is

Also at some point your aunt and nine other Death Eaters were broken out of Azkaban and it made you fear even more for Draco because you knew where those individuals would be staying

But putting all the bad things aside you helped Fred and George with the creation of new joke articles and finding people to test it on, you joined the DA and gained some more practical knowledge on how to defend yourself against foes and the dark arts

Of course you also spend some alone time with your boyfriend in unused classrooms or his dorm and on the weekends in Hogsmeade, be it on the usual way or one of the passages

Most things were going good and after Fred kept on asking you about leaving with him before the school year ends and opening the shop with him and George you said yes

Screw it, you already finished all your N.E.W.T.S and what is a few weeks left going to do to your grades?

So you guys made the show of the years with fireworks and a kick to Umbridge in the ass with one particular one, and with that off you were

The next two years went by in a flash with the work that came from opening the shop and keeping it running, the time you spend with Fred building up your future together and all the other stuff that life throws your way

It was a bliss but you also kept thinking about your family

You had lost Sirius, which you started to get to know and grow closer to, you had lost your parents and brother in some way too because none of them would talk to you and you feared what could happen to Draco

But that was all put to the side when things got more dangerous after the Death Eaters attacked Bill and Fleaur’s wedding and attacks in general happened more and more

Throughout the year muggles, half-bloods and even purebloods who were seen as blood traitors got killed and you knew that they would come after you as well, sooner or later

You got through the year with a few close calls and a lot of cautions until you got a message from the Order saying that there will be a battle in Hogwarts and they needed all the help they could get

During the battle you never left Fred’s side, even if you wanted to look for Draco and make sure that he was okay, Fred was now part of your family and you would do anything to protect the ones you loved

It turned out that staying with Fred would save his life in the end and after saving him from the collapsing ceiling he asked you to marry him

“Fred! I don’t think this is the right time to ask me that!”

“I just almost died! I think it’s the right time to do so!”

“Fine! It’s a yes!”

You battled your way through what turned out to be the first wave of attacks when you finally got a break

You gathered up with the Weasleys and Hermione and exchanged hugs when you spotted Draco and sprinted towards him

Without thinking he came towards you and hugged you back as you enveloped him in your arms

There was no way you would let go of him and tears started to roll down your face

“You're okay, you are okay… I was so scared something happened to you. I missed you so much.”

“...I missed you too.”

You made him come over to the Weasley family with you and he did so without saying a word

The rest of the day and the second half of the battle went by fast, when your mother called for Draco to come over you saw him think for a second but in the end he remained by your said and held your hand which made you look at him with a proud smile and to the surprise of everyone Narcissa came to your side and hugged both you and Draco

She fought by your side for the rest of it and after it was over she hugged you for the first time in years before she and Draco left

In the next few years you would rekindle your relationship with your mother and brother, you would marry Fred and eventually get two beautiful twin girls named Winifred and Roxanna. 

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Tagging: @satans-bae-and-queen, @hippogreif-joana

[midnight-in-town]

Hi so I came across your Femto punishing both Guts and Casca meta and even tho I kinda like it I found myself at odds with a part of it.

I think punishing Casca and feeling mad she picked Guts over him and considered leaving him wasn't really a consideration at all. In the thoughts he has after the weird trippy hallucination thing they put him through during the eclipse his only thoughts are about Guts. How he was the only one who made Griffith forget his dream. And when he forgot this torture happened and his body was broken.

Guts was the one he risked life for by going to save him from Zod. Guts was the one who managed to get close to him despite his attempts to keep his distance from his men. Griffith was at that point after all only human. Humans need close relationships which he was denying himself and that led to his overattachment to the one he had which caused him to end up in the situation he got tortured in. He had to blow off steam he was so upset by Guts leaving and the concept alone made his fight with Guts more erratic.

But Casca leaving isn't reflected on at all during the Eclipse. Griffith said once that a true equal was what he considered a friend and while he was talking to a royal at the time that might still be true. Griffith who was human, and despite being in denial about it, craved friendship.

An equal who didn't leave him might be something he wanted. But Femto who has thrown away his humanity doesn't want a friend he doesn't want a equal. A power play is required to prove that Guts is beneath him. He needs to disempower Guts to feel empowered. To feel that Guts isn't a equal that Guts is beneath him.

The scene where he pushes down Casca is a parallel because it is also about power but in a different way. The sequence of events is Griffith asks Guts to put on his armor he wants to be able to put it on fight again. Guts obliges excited to see Griffith recover.

Elsewhere Casca is told he will never recover enough to hold a sword again. A demon attacks them rips off Griffiths armor and mocks him and his group over how he's already broken. Afterwards Griffith hears his group come apart as they come to terms about his condition. Casca berates Guts for expecting that recovery when it not possible which Griffith also hears.

Griffith then pushes Casca down I think because Casca used to be someone he was stronger than her. It's just a desperation to show he has even a bit of the strength he used to possess.

He manages to stay in the position she doesn't try to push him off he doesn't try to do anything and just puts his effort in maintaining position. Flopping on her and groping would probably be less physical effort but I don't think that what he trying to do . His mouth is open like he's trying to say something but no words come out. She hugs him pulling him close and as he's no longer holding up his own body weight his trembling stops.

I think its supposed to contrast with Femto later and his mentality in this moment vs that one.

The first scene with Casca is desperation to show he has even a bit of the strength he used to possess. That it'd not over for him.

The second one where he attacks Casca in front of Guts is to show no one is equal to him everyone is beneath him. Guts is beneath him. In this world where Griffith reigns Guts has no power to stop anything to do anything and he wants to mock and hurt Guts. That it's his time to rule.

When Griffith is rescued his immediate reaction is to lash out attack Guts. He is mad at Guts for leaving because in his mind Guts leaving led to this. But it only led to this because Griffith cared enough about him that he would be upset at not having Guts around. Its because they were friends. So when he sees Guts crying over him that anger dissappears and he puts his hands on Guts hand in a almost comforting gesture. He can't go as far with his anger or hatred because he loves and cares too.

Which is why that first scene with Casca is only her being pinned. He wouldn't go that far because even if he doesn't see her as a equal he still gives a shit. Its why he attempts to move to her when she attacked by demons after they escape with him. Maybe he wouldn't even consider doing something like what Femto does to her.

But that caring and giving a shit is the humanity he gives up. Femto still has emotions he had feelings Griffith used to have. If he didn't making Guts feel disempowered wouldn't matter. The idea of Guts as a equal in anyway wouldn't occur. Femto is just that anger and rage he felt when he tried to strangle Guts without the caring he felt when he put his hand on Guts hand.

Casca only mattered when Griffith cared about people who he thought he was stronger than. When he sacrificed that Casca ceased to matter. She was never a target of his anger or frustration. But Guts continued to matter. Because Guts was a target of that. He wants the target of his frustration to suffer, and he knows this will make him suffer.

Just my opinion thought I'd share. Still love your meta tho!

Well, damn, that’s a long ask. xDD Next time, just reblog and add your thoughts, I also answer that way, hahaha!

Also, not sure which post of mine you’re referring to, by the way. I’m thinking this one, but I honestly can’t be sure because I also reblogged posts on the subject?

Anyway, if I sum up your take: Griffith was out to punish Guts only and not Casca, because Guts >>> Casca in terms of significance as far as Griffith is concerned? 

Thank you for your input :) but see, I disagree, because this is exactly why I once said that...

I don’t understand why some fans somehow reduce Berserk’s plot to being about Guts vs Griffith, Casca often becoming some random secondary character. For me, no matter how you look at the series ever since the Golden Age, it just ain’t the case. :))

However, all I ever wrote was that Griffith punished both of them; I never implied that their “betrayal” amounted to the same significance for Griffith, because it’s indeed not the case.

After all, as you said, we know Guts always had a bigger impact on Griffith since the day they met...

...but, while we will never know for sure, I for one am quite convinced that if Casca (who was Griffith’s right-hand woman) was the one who had left in the same fashion as Guts, it would have triggered Griffith in a similar way. 

Because Griffith is a man of influence: he knows that and how to use such charisma on others. That’s why he totally means the words he said to Charlotte about what kind of people he would see as a friend. So he uses people’s feelings for him in a way that would serve the path to achieving his dreams. Casca herself said that, as a leader after he was gone, all she did was "try to protect the dream of someone who might not even be alive”. 

The Band of the Falcon lived and worked to help Griffith achieve his dream, because they saw him as special, since they had no achievable big dream of their own (kinda why Griffith said they’re not “friends”). 

So yeah sure, Guts’ actions would always leave a bigger impact on Griffith, as you showed he said it himself, but Casca falling in love with Guts and envisioning a future far away from Griffith’s schemes still clearly stung. 

After all, everyone in the group knew of Casca’s unrequited feelings for Griffith, meaning that Griffith obviously knew too and, instead of telling her it would never happen, he entertained the possibility so that Casca would entirely devote herself to him.

Take Judeau, as a counterexample: he too had some feelings for Casca, but he urged Guts several times to take her with him and away from the group, because he couldn’t stand her unhappiness. Griffith said nothing about her feelings, because he knew that’s how Casca would do everything for his sake. 

Still, Casca was not any random member of his Band so, when she emancipated from Griffith by falling in love with Guts, in my opinion it’s why...

...she also was on the receiving end of his jealousy. 

It’s distasteful but, otherwise, why did Femto rape Casca instead of killing her? Again, we will never know, but if Guts had left Griffith behind for a future with any other random girl, I think Femto would have just killed her in front of Guts. Raping Casca, when she used to long for Griffith’s affection, was revenge against both of them for choosing each other instead of him and his dream. 

You can see it in the way he stared at both of them so many times, coming to the realization that he was not at the center of their little trio anymore. So yeah, Guts > Casca in terms of significance since day 1 as far as Griffith is concerned, I never discussed that, but Casca was not such a random member of Griffith’s band either that her actions of emancipation would not taste bitter to him. That’s my opinion. :)

Additional points: I never said he was trying to grope her in that scene when he fell on top of her as she was changing his bandages, just that “he was trying to gauge or reenact Casca’s old devotion to him by showing some affection”.

And finally, Femto who was entirely reborn as a Godhand has no emotion left about Guts or Casca, he said it himself. Thinking he’s only anger and revenge would be confusing Femto with the Skull Knight or Guts as the Black Swordsman.

Friendly reminder that Femto is not human anymore so, while Griffith thrived on thinking that he didn’t bother with overwhelming bonds to anyone and that only his dream ever mattered, it is actually the case for Femto. 

I hope I answered your points. Thanks for reading and have a nice day Anon! :))

[everyhowlmarksthedead]

PROMPT

Che “Taza” Romero x Reader

@stardust1978 asked: I wanted to request a Dialogue Prompt #5 under Angst with Taza when you are taking requests again. Thank you :)

Prompt: “My heart tells me to kiss you, my head tells me to walk away”.

Word Count: 2.6k

Thanks to my lovely beta reader @chibsytelford ��

Author comments: I hope you all enjoy. Gif isn't mine, credits to the author.

Tag list: @starrynite7114 ​ @chibsytelford ​ @dazzledamazon ​ @mara-mpou ​ @sammskellington ​ @gemini0410 ​ @1-800-imagines ​ @briana-mishell24 ​ @sassymox @whyisgmora @aquamento @sadeyesgf @arved 💥 (if you wanna be tagged, send me a message!)

Who said ‘ride or die’ for first time, surely he knew you, because ride is your life. 

“Nine-one-one, what's your emergency?”

“She came from nowhere! I didn't see her!”

It wasn't true. Once your helmet is on, your motorbike and you are one. There's no difference, as if you got melted with it when you turn the engine. You know every single inch of Cali's asphalt. You know every traffic light, every signal, every road, every street, every city, every single driver. You didn't come from nowhere, but he was looking his phone when he crossed the corner's avenue. He didn't see you, that's true. But you came from Sunset Boulevard with Figeroa street. You was driving fast, as always, but respecting the limit.

You were lying on the ground, upside down, when you realized that you couldn't move your right leg. You couldn't even feel pain. As the orders of your brain reached the toes of the left foot, the right foot didn't respond. Nothing. Breathing fast, you were drowning into agonizing coughs. You're a nomad. You know every single bone of your anatomy. You know what's broken, you know what's fragmented and you know what's twisted. You're choking because of the blood filling your lungs, for a splintered rib. And only when you hear the sound of an ambulance sirens, you let yourself go.

┅┅ ┅ ┅ ┅┅

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

A hard headache is lashing your whole body, growling slightly whilst feeling some long fingers tangling into yours. You know their touch pretty well, you don't even need to open your eyes to confirm it. Those fingertips have traveled through your skin so many times you lost the count long time ago. They hold yours tightly, with a trembling and cracked lips kissing every one, every knuckle and the wrist. You're sleepy, coughing for a while and raising your free hand to your belly when a bitter twinge hits it. You don't need to ask where you are, 'cause you know it at the exact moment you notice your right leg immobilized hanging of the metal structure of the bed. 

Feeling weak and decayed, you turn your face at him, opening your eyes so slowly. The man drags his chair a little bit closer, leaning above the hospital bed to leave some dearly kisses on your forehead while your free sleepy hands toured your stomach till reaching his nape. It's been a long time since you saw him in Santo Padre. And even if you think he betrayed you, Taza still being the most important person in your life. And he will always be.

You met him sixteen years ago in Santa Madre, when you were almost fifteen. You stole a loaf of bread. You didn't have family, nor money, nor a job. You were a child suffering the poverty of the Mexican border. And as a fallen angel from heaven, he found you. He was running away too. 

He saved you and you saved him.

Taza taught you every single thing you know today. About animals, about guns, about motorbikes and mechanic, about how to be silent, about fighting. He welcomed you in his ranch, he gave you a family and he brought you back to life. 

“What ha—happened?” You mutter feeling high because of the morphine.

“A guy missed a traffic light and hit you”. He says licking his lips, choosing the correct words.

“And wh—what happened to me?” His sigh is more painful that have every bone of your body broken.

“A rib pierced your left lung, but you're okay now, cariño”.

“And what abo—about my leg?”

The Mayan doesn't know how to tell you. Isn't that bad, actually. But riding is your life.

“Femur fracture”. He can't lie to you. At least, not a second time since you met.

You turn your neck and face to the opposite side, feeling awake suddenly. You know what it's means. Your eyes filled with tears and your heart racing. The sanitary machines starts to beep louder, claiming the attention of some nurses who come to try to control your pulse. 

“I'm ok—okay! Fuckin' leave me!” You cry squeezing over the bed, while Taza tries to hug you.

“Sh, (Y/N). Calm down, calm down. Everything is gonna be fine. Sleep a little more...” He whispers on your eyes, watching sideway how a doctor inject a whitish liquid into the line connected to your wrist.

You let yourself go again, between Che's strong arms, making you feel as if you were at home again.

┅┅ ┅ ┅ ┅┅

He explained you that you fell with your knee slightly curled and that was why you broke it. Luckily, in Los Angeles didn't wait for transferred you to San Diego, to make the surgery necessary. After one day unconscious, they flew you in helicopter to Santo Padre. And even if Taza told you that you could walk again and drive your motorbike, you couldn't help but feel anxious, terrified and mournful. 

It was one long month in the hospital, receiving visitors every day from Stockton, Charming, Tijuana, Mexico... Even from the charters of Connecticut and Pennsylvania. You didn't used to talk a lot, mostly some words and some sentences. You were submerged on a gloomy environment, crying all the time because of the pain and the rage of being bedridden. Taza slept with you every night, before complaining all day about his back hurting with Bishop and Tranq. But he would do anything for you. Anything.

After the high medical and all the information the doctors gave you for the home life and rehabilitation, you agreed with the idea of coming back to the ranch. Actually, Taza as the stubborn man he is and Bishop as the president of your charter, forced you. They didn't give you any options. So you just ‘agreed’. Your next six month were going to be summed in the first one to rest, the next four going two times per day to the hospital and the last one trying to walk by your own. Feeling pain and agony with every step until you can make it disappear, by following the recommendations.

You used to be laid on the bed with the blinds half down, holding tightly your black leather vest against your chest, feeling that it was your only hope to wake everyday. Of course, there are things in life worse than a femur fracture, but for you it was painful in a psychologically speaking way. The doctors recommended the crew and your friends to talk you about day-life, happy situations or whatever that didn't let you think about it, so you could avoid  a depression and harmful thoughts. So when Mayans came to visit you at the ranch, sitting by a side of your bed or lying next to you, they were always trying make you laugh and talk. But you couldn't. You were like a scared child believing that the sheets were shields that protected you about any hurt.

┅┅ ┅ ┅ ┅┅

Opening your eyes, rolling over the mattress, hearing some whispers outside of your room that won't let you sleep. Your heart race, getting up on your palms, when you can't find your vest on it. You look for it on the floor, behind the blankets, behind the pillows. Nothing. With a lot of effort you move your whole and heavy body to the wheelchair next to the bed, supporting your arms on it with a growl drowned in your throat. Rolling your fingers above the wheels faster than you can think, you go towards the door opening it loud and making it crash to the wall. Following the hallway to the living room, the voices stir anxiously. Tran and Gilly are blocking your gaze to the huge table, where you used to meet al the Mayans for a lunch, a dinner or an impromptu meeting.

“Look at you! You did it by yourself!” Angel is very proud, leaning towards you before your able to kick his crotch with your good leg, making him fall to the floor between whinings and sobs.

“Hey, hey, take it easy, karate kid!” Creeper holds your shoulders, while EZ press his hands on your tights and on your left leg, to avoid the fact that you hit them too.

“Where's my kutte?! What are you doin'?!” You shout with your eyes filled with tears, stirring to loosen from the grips. 

“Cariño, calm down”. Then you hear his voice, appearance behind the big guys in front of you.

“You, fuckin' traitor! You're doin' it again! I fuckin' hate you, bastard!” You want to kill him, yelling full of rage while the tears run through your cheeks soaking the shirts.

“Fuck, (Y/N)! Calm yo' fuckin' self!” Angel growls trying to getting up from the floor.

“Bishop, please! I'll ride again! I'll soon”. Your cry gets louder seeing how the man is cutting a patch of your vest, between Tranq and Gilly, above the table. “It's the only thing I have! Please, don't!”

The president doesn't say a word  knowing how much you're suffering and don't giving a shit about it. Riz leans close to you, slapping him when he tries to clean your tears.

“Don't fuckin' touch me!” You scream at him totally mad, squeezing on the wheelchair and trying to get up of it.

“Jesus Christ, calm down!” He says somewhat scared.

“I earned it! I did it! Please! Don't take it away!” 

You feel like the air is leaving your lungs and your mouth when Bishop holds the kutte on air having a look of it, before starting to walk towards you. And when you're able to grab it, you do it holding it tightly on your chest, raising your gaze confused. He makes a soft move with his chin, pulling a way some inches the vest to see the new patch. The “nómada” one isn't there anymore, having been changed for “Miembro de honor”. Gasping not knowing exactly what to say, you hold it close again.

“It's the only thing I have...” You mutter with trembling lips.

“We know”. Bishop says bending down to leave a kiss on your forehead with a hand placed on your nape. “No one is gonna take it away, querida. But at least, I made you go out of your room”.

“Yea', the kick was worth it”. Angel says with a hoarse voice rubbing his crotch.

You can't help but smiling for first time after long months, when Creeper and EZ  let you go. Riz helps you to wear it, putting it well on. It looks good on you, better than ever and you're starting to feel blissful again.

“We decided to have a day off, here with you. And we bought you free alcohol beer, so you can drink too”. EZ says almost singing, making you chuckle. “And pops' meat for the barbecue”.

Sounds good. Really good. So you nod without doubting pulling away some hair bristles behind your ears.

┅┅ ┅ ┅ ┅┅

You can't remember when was the last time you had so much fun with your true family. Vicki came too with some of your friends and Letti, who turned out to be better than you expected, after Coco told you so much about her. And even if you didn't want the day to end, you were waiting for it, so you could be alone with Taza and tell him that you were sorry about what you said early morning.

After all the goodbyes, and the apache bringing you back to the inside, you turn at him with some effort on the wheelchair. Placing both hands on your lap and pursing your lips, your gaze travels looking his.

“I didn't me—”.

“It doesn't matter”. He interrupts you, passing you away to let his body fall down on the nearest sofa.

Turning again, you guides yourself to him, insisting about it.

“I'm sorry, Che”.

“God, forget it, (Y/N)”. Rolling his eyes, he lies his head against the back of the sofa.

“No, 'cause I know it hurt you. And it's not fair”. You continue, getting up of the chair to jump with the other leg by his side.

He doesn't say anything when you wrap his neck with both arms, hugging him. Taza only clicks his tongue, slicing a hand between your back and the sofa to put you closer, holding you against himself. Resting your face on his chest, closing your eyes, yes, it's feels like you're at home again.

“You know what?” You say almost in a whisper.

“What?”

“My heart tells me to kiss you, but my head tells me to walk away”. It's not a secret, but sounds like. And you're not ashamed of recognizing it.

“You can't walk, idiot”.

You chuckle shaking your head, raising it to him, touching his cheek with your nose.

“Don't leave me again, please”. He sighs rubbing his forehand. “I know I fucked up things with that... chick. But I truly love you and I'm gonna regret all my life for hurting you”.

“Just... give me some time”.

“The one you need, I could wait all my life”. Pressing his lips on yours in a smooth kiss, you travel one of your hand towards a side of his neck. 

The love you feel for him has never disappear, not even when you tried so hard to hate him when you became a nomad just to run away from all the sorrow he provoked you three years ago, a winter cold night when you arrived of a two weeks travel with the Stockton charter. By that time, you were going through some trouble and each one had a different way of facing it, instead of remaining together.

┅┅ ┅ ┅ ┅┅

It's been almost six month since the accident and everything has changed. Taza is driving his bike, with you by his back, towards the clubhouse. You called Bishop before to meet the crew on the front yard. You didn't tell him why, having a little surprise for them. So when you finally come and the guys are waiting you there, EZ is the one who notices that you're not carrying the crutches, drawing a big smile on his face and palming his brother's chest before pointing at you. 

Taking off the helmet and giving it to Taza, proud-hearted of what are you going to do, you practically jump out of the motorbike. You can see every reaction on every face. They're happy and a little shocked when you put your right foot on the floor. You're walking without help. And even if you feel a little pain yet, there's nothing that could stop you now. You're like a child giving her first steps. Limping very slightly, you open both arms.

“What's up, guys?! Cat got your tongues?!” You laugh happily going towards them.

Bishop is the first one who holds you in his arms when you're close enough, laughing too for your feat.

“You did it, querida”. He says, and you're sure the president is about to cry.

“I told you!”

“Are you gonna kick me again, if I try to touch you, mi dulce?” Angel walks somewhat closer with a funny gesture on his face, before hugging him.

“The doc' said I could ride in two weeks, but I'm gonna wait another one, just in case”. You inform them, with Angel's left arm on your shoulders. “So, where's my bike?”

“Resting too”. Taza says then, kissing your cheek. “Waiting for you”.

[medievalfangirl]

A Letter From a (very enthusiastic) Fan.

It’s me again! Haha

First of all I’d like to apologize for possible typos since English isn’t my first language but I hope you can understand the general ideia.

When I found your fic, I was a little hesitant to start reading it because usually time travelling stories to the middle ages never seem to completely portray the danger and violence it was known for. I cannot tell you how many stories I read in which the female lead spends all her time at the alehouse spending the money that we have no idea where it came from, being completely accepted for society even though she’s not like them, magically learning how to use a sword the first time she holds it and being her sassy arrogant herself with no punishment whatsoever for her disrespectful behavior. Oh yeah and everybody seems to love and admire her even though she’s just a pain in the ass.

Now that I got that out of my system, I just wanted to say what a pleasant and beautiful surprise it was to run into AGFTF. Girl, that’s MASTER WRITING! I fell for the story instantly because it’s so incredibly realistic (given the circumstances)! Adeline was held captive for months before she was rescued, she was mistreated and suffered for her loose tongue, she realized through the most despicable way that woman’s rights back then were none at all, she even got her period at the worst possible time ever for fuck’s sake! Adeline had to work to pay for her ale she didn’t create gold out of straw like some Rumpelstilkin lead, she faced the prejudice for being a woman and she took a normal amount of time to learn how to use weapons. You absolutely nailed all the descriptions and realism, thank you so much for that.

About Adeline. So hard for me too love a lead usually I just like them but I didn’t stand a chance against Adeline. SHE’S SO FUCKING FUNNY! Every time she has an inappropriate thought or just a sassy one I shit myself so hard I’m laughing. She’s so relatable and yet so unique. Her clumsiness is not Bella Swan/Anastasia Steel kind of thing, it’s something ridiculously funny and more important: the characters think that too. They’re not charmed by the way she fell of a hill and lost her unicorn panties, they’re amused by it as any real person would be. Every time I feel something’s about to go wrong for her or Adeline just makes a dumbass decision I cover my eyes like “oh, no, Adeline, not again”, but I do it laughing and with lots of loves for her. Taking a darker turn, the way she faces what happened at Dunholm is a shitty unhealthy way but it’s how most of us deal with a trauma and I can only hope she’ll learn how to deal with it in time. I love how she’s not obviously a brave warrior but totally determined to prove herself to everyone including herself and this will prove to be a hard journey mainly when she lives by the Murphy’s Law. Although it’s already very clear to me how much she’s matured and developed in that three years passage of time. I’d like to give you my top five moments of Adeline:

Adeline almost flashing Alfred, the Great. (WHAT WAS THAT HAHAHAHA I LAUGHED MY GUTS OUT);

Adeline having her hair braided by Sihtric at the alehouse (I loved this part so much it was like receiving a warm hug during the hardest winter and their friendship is EVERYTHING);

Adeline and Finan talking by the fire at the camp back from Balbury (they’ll have a topic specially for their relationship just you wait);

Adeline learning how to use a bow;

Adeline braiding Dorito’s mane alongside Finan.

Shall we talk about the marvelous job you did with the characters? We shall. It’s like I’m watching a spin-off from TLK because their personalities are FLAWLESS. I can see them talking to me. Hild being that perfect herself, too good a woman for God alone; Sihtric always so silent but also friendly and compassionate; and Finan. Oh dear God, Finan. There’s no other way to describe him other than quoting Adeline:

“I liked the duality of his nature: he laughed so easily but he wasn’t a man to be messed with – he’d fight his corner, and fight twice as hard for his friends”. Girl, you made me cry. In a good way. That is everything I love about Finan and that’s why I was so happy to see that it’s also what Adeline likes about him.

Now last but definitely NOT least.

Finan and Adeline. Sweet Lord that lies in heaven what a perfect ship. Slow-Burn? It’s more like Slow-Motion-Burn, girl. I’m a person with zero patience and you made me CRAVE for a little romance between these two from the beginning. I just kept praying and hoping they’d have some involvement soon but you made me wait and boy was it worth it. You know, it wasn’t tiresome to wait for those too to start flirting because I just adored Adeline’s relationship with everybody else (Sihtric, Hild, Clapa… even Uhtred and Gisela).

I started to feel the reciprocity when Finan chased her outside the hall and Adeline challenged him for a fight. I actually giggled in every scene they had together after the small ruse for the loaf of bread because that’s what took me to sail my shipp. The small bickering, the smirks and smiles they exchanged, flirty Finan implying “he didn’t know he’d have to EAT anything” (I had mad goosebumps I had). You built their relationship with patience and through crumbs I happily fed on only to realize that they were satisfying me and making me beg for more. It was so beautiful to see their friendship turning into something else and now all I want to see is their wedding. Just kidding but not so much.

I get a little excited when a story has everything I was looking for so I’m sorry I actually wrote you a letter hahaha if you managed to read it all, I just wanted to thank you one more time for taking the time and talent to telling us Adeline’s story. I’ll probably write another letter when I’m finished with the 25 chapters and then I’ll just leave a comment on the chapters like a normal person hahaha

Thank you again and congratulations!

XOXO

A response from a very grateful author who cried at least three times reading your letter

Saying a simple thank you feels a little redundant considering the magnitude of emotion your letter brought me, but that’s where I’ll start. THANK YOU! 🥰🥰 You’ve filled my heart with such happiness it’s difficult to put into words. So, again, thank you! 💕

My goal from the beginning with this story was to try and tell a realistic (or at least, as realistic as time travel can be) story, with a character who struggled, and learnt the hard way that this experience wouldn’t be all sunshine and rainbows. I didn’t want to write a ‘main character’ in the way that she is automatically liked and respected and admired, just because she’s The Main Character. I wanted to write about a real person, with flaws, who handles things poorly, and who some people dislike. Because real life is messy like that.  

So to have you tell me not only did you find the story realistic as I dearly wished, but it exceeded your expectations? I’m delighted, and blow away a little to be honest. You’ve broken down the story and how you felt about it in such detail, really taking your time, and I feel totally and utterly honoured. 

I can’t tell you how happy I am that you like Adeline so much!  “oh, no, Adeline, not again” truly is her catchphrase, because while she tries, she is nothing short of a disaster at times. I’m so, so happy you feel you can relate to her and enjoy her journey. I agree with you - I think most of us aren’t good with serious trauma. We get there, but it takes time, and a fair few mistakes first. Again, I’m pleased as punch that you like that she handled things badly, that she’s scared but determined, and trying to grow. You’ve picked up on every single theme I’ve been trying to portray with her as if you’ve been in my head for a sneaky look, and it’s incredible. You’re so insightful and thoughtful 🥰🥰

Taking the time to rank your favourite Adeline moments? Well, you’ve reduced me to happy tears once again. Seriously, I’m just a mushy mess at this point. THANK YOU💕

Ahhh, Finan. Straight away I’ll apologise because you’re so right - Slow-Motion-Burn sums this up perfectly😂 I did wonder if readers would find the wait until the romance a drag, so I’m relieved and happy (you’ve made me happy rather a lot, so i apologise for being repetitive) you enjoyed the build up, and friendships with the rest of the Coccham family. I wanted to push Finan and Adeline towards each other in a way that felt natural, and have this gradual realisation from them both that, oh shit, this person means a lot to me. And the flirting? So much fun to write, so I can assure you that will continue forever, to the wedding and beyond (oh i promise, you’ll have that wedding). 

One final thing - please don’t apologise for being a beautiful, kind soul who took the time to share their thoughts and bring a huge, huge amount of happiness to my day. As you can see, I write essays too, so we’re in this together!

Thank you so, so, so much 🥰💕💕

[space-blue]

The Teacher

I took a long, long break... And returned in July 2020 here.

The teacher scuttles past her charges, her long limbs trailing through their rows, caressing their naked crowns, claws clicking against status sensors in a reassuring ritual, a litany of green, green, green, all green, all students doing well, until she reaches the orange one. She folds herself around his station. It takes some time and a lot of tactful calibrations to recall a child from active training. Abruptly ending simulation would risk neural damage. Once the emergence launches she steps back and watches, squinting her rheumy eyes, a bit worried, a bit fidgety. The nursing cocoon sloughs off the child's back, opening up like some perverted memory of a wilting flower. The synaptic plug retracts first, long blue tendrils coiling out of the nostrils, surrendering the child's mind to his own volition. Then the mouth is freed, the tubes for air and food both retracting with heaving heaps of mucus. The child retches, moans, young hands reaching blindly.

"I'm here!" the teacher exclaims, extending all her forward limbs in a reassuring embrace. "Focus on breathing, remember how you did last time."

The child sobs, struggling to stand on legs that have grown much since he was last out of a pod.

"You're alright. You're doing great," she croons, sorting her organics into a friendly face with a warm smile.

The boy squints up at her, eyes unfocused.

"Teacher?"

"Do you remember your name? Your designation?"

"Val-" he coughs, spits up the last dregs of phlegm, "I'm Valian, designation 45ARNAS0026 of the fighter units."

"And what colour am I displaying now?"

"Purple."

"Very good!" She brings her face closer to his, still smiling, to show her satisfaction, to reassure. "Do you know why you were brought out?"

"I received a general summoning, teacher. No details. Do... do you know why?"

"No, I only received the notification to prepare you for a formal review. It is the training board, so it has to do with your career."

She produces a shift for the boy to wear and helps him into it. Valian's expression is hard to puzzle out, but she figures it is one of worry.

"You will be alright, Valian," she says, caressing his face with a sensory tendril, "I monitor you every day, and I know how hard you work. I shouldn't say this–but you are top of this batch for orbital physics and biomecha engineering both."

The child blushes, pats his clothes and puffs his small chest out.

"If my teacher is proud of me then everything will be alright!"

The teacher keeps her smile immovable and says nothing more. She hates to make promises on things so far out of her power. Instead she gives him directions in a little data pad and sees him off to the door.

She then heaves herself behind her station and peruses data to try to pinpoint what went wrong with her student, to no avail. She broods, unhappy with herself. An orange light is rare. Rarer than a red one, even this far into the ship's breeding stacks. She feels it deeply, this potential failure. Both for herself, for her record, and for the child. Valian. Off to his review without a clue of what failing to please the assessors would entail. But the teacher knows all too well, and she frets for hours, until the door hisses open and Valian walks back in.

"What news, child?" She asks, scurrying over the pods and down to the walkway.

The child doesn't look up, and she feels her gorge rise.

"Valian? Speak."

"They said my combat simulations showed a "tendency for mercy that was outside the acceptable range". They said I'm not suited for attack fighters anymore... They want me to change my career track."

Water floods the child's eyes and flows down his cheeks. Tears, she remembers. The child looks up, as startled as she is.

"It is called crying," she says. “It's a biological manifestation of strong emotions. A healthy parameter. There, it will pass!"

She pets his head, his cheeks, pulls him into a hug, unable to voice just how reassured she is. She feels his arms wrap around her and her heart burns. Everything is so much harder here, the stakes so much higher. She sighs and releases him.

"Have you considered it already?"

He smiles through his tears.

"Maybe, I could become a teacher too?"

"No!" she blurts out.

The child looks up at her, and she thinks, fast, about that no, and about the best way to justify it. She remembers her previous body, and the one before that. The spinal surgeries, the months spent upside down in vifluid as her consciousness slowly learnt to accept her new body map. How she's forgotten the feel of her original form, and the way she thought and felt then too. But that was to be endured. Most placements come with invasive surgeries. It doesn't compare to the decades she spent teaching at the higher levels. That also had to be endured, but for what? She remembers the packed rows of children, too many to name and remember, monitored by software and only vaguely in her care. Though, of course, she was the one who had to disconnect those whose light came red, who had to wake them and lead them out of the rows, not to the door but to the shute, to convince them to take the nice slide, the fun ride to the recycling reactor that would sort them out on a molecular level, give them a better use than the machine space they took. She remembers none of their designations, but she counted them, and it took the last of her humanity and more, she thinks, before she earned her final promotion. What can she say to this hopeful child? That the best he could hope for is to make it to a stack where the fail rate is under five percent? Two hundred years of ship time, and she has nothing to say to defend her job. She is a mediator who turns the children out of the nurseries into young adults ready to commit to life paths she has no experience of. Students don't so much graduate as survive, and every one of these survivors has nothing but great memories of their time with their teachers. The AIs make sure of that. The reality is so different, outside of the simulations, out in the darkness, under the glowing canopy of green lights, her swollen body reclining against her station’s gel pads, the clicking of her many metal-composit joints resonating through the wide chamber as she types out training programs and answers queries from her wards. The sum total of her wisdom lies in meta-calibrations and tweaking of drug compounds. What sort of pride can she take from that? She keeps at it, she must, it's all she's ever known. She can't in good conscience push any child of hers into this career. She worries of course, that being a freighter or an engineer might be just as bad, or worse. Maybe she's about to doom little Valian to an even more terrible destiny, how could she know? It is like a pit opening under her, this realisation that there is nothing she can say that would not frighten, no insight to share with this blank slate of a young man that would not bend him out of ways.

"I think," she says, making her tone conspiratory, "that your kind heart would make you a great teacher. One has to care... A lot. But no teacher needs all this knowledge on orbital mechanics and all that science you are so talented at. It would be wasteful for the ship, for someone like you to become a teacher."

"You think so?"

"Truly. The ship needs engineers too, and freighters, if you'd still like to be made into a flying unit. How about I put you through some extra trials and we'll work out what's best suited? Maybe navigator or charter?"

The child nods, looking happier, almost excited. He disrobes and she lifts him up under her belly and back to where his cocoon awaits. Valian easily surrenders himself to her ministrations. She plugs him back in, each step done by rote, until the pod sews itself back up and the light flashes yellow, for simulation launch.

The teacher waits patiently now for it to turn green. Green to soothe her nerves. Green like success, like life, another test passed, another hurdle cleared. Like another day closer to graduation. When it comes on she sighs, and lifts herself higher into the rows, her long limbs stretching out, carrying her forward through her brood, all studying so hard, dreaming of their future lives in the ship that bore them, so innocently in her trust. She’ll do her best to give them that future. It’s her job, the only thing she knows how to do. She has to believe it’ll be a better life than her own.

~~ July 2020 – Theme : Old (Wo)Man's Tale

[hobiheavenly]

The Missing Piece

✧ Pairing: Park Jimin x Reader

✧ One shot, Fluff so sweet it can cause cavities, Smut, Boyfriend AU

✧ Warnings: fairly vanilla sex, oral sex (female receiving), praise kink, fingering, spanking, multiple orgasms, Jimin’s big ass dick

✧ Word Count: 5.5K

✧ Summary: Going out with your very adorable boyfriend seemed like a dream come true but there was still no sex between the both of you. You were determined to change that and finally confront your boyfriend about it but things don’t go as planned.

✧ A/N: I might have made Jimin way too sweet but honesty he’s a honey baby and I believe he’s the sweetest boyfriend! My intention was to get this out for Valentine’s Day but I unfortunately life throws curveballs but enjoy either way!

Happiness is one form of fulfilment. Or at least that's what you though. You were currently in a relationship, a very happy relationship to be exact. Even when at first it had been difficult to get the courage to express your feelings openly to him, that struggle was finally over and you were completely and utterly happy.

One problem. Your boyfriend has never had sex with you.

Park Jimin isn't the type of guy you tell straight up that you want sex. At least not without having you self combust out of embarrassment. He is kind and caring, sweet and an amazing kisser. You would always compare his kisses to ecstasy. For a while you were happy with the current situation you lived with your boyfriend. The two of you did things most couples did: hug a lot, go out on dates, talk a lot to each other, cuddle while watching movies at his house, say cute nicknames when people aren't looking, and of course the make out sessions. OH THE MAKE OUT SESSIONS! Those were you favorite moments of pure delight. You always looked forward to kissing Jimin a lot, reason why you always had her strawberry lip gloss with you at all times since it was his favorite flavor and made him more prone to kiss you when you smelled like that. And you loved kissing him till they were out of breath. Until it came to the point where that wasn’t enough. There was a sudden….need. A sudden want. Kisses were starting to seem like child's play. You wanted more!

Of course you could never sum up the courage to tell Jimin to make love to you. You barely summed up the courage to even tell him you loved him! 

First time you both met it had been in the most ridiculous of ways, something that would prevail throughout the rest of your relationship. You felt lucky Jimin even considered going out with you despite the horrible first impression you tried to give that one sunny day while you were both in last year of college.

Normally you are a very cool and collected person who always loves to have everything in control but when it came to Jimin you always lost your senses. You became a total clutz and always did something completely embarrassing in front of him. The first time you ever saw him, you accidentally spilled coffee on him, the second time you bumped into a tree, the third time you tripped and slid on the freshly waxed floor of the campus hallway. Didn’t take you long to discover who he was, what his itinerary was and even tried to be in the same classes in college just to see him. Jimin was like an angel sent from heaven and you adored him as time went by. Finally there came a day you confessed your feelings…..but it wasn't quite as you planned it to be…

*************Flashback****************

You were sitting in the bench waiting for Jimin to come out of his World History class. You wanted to dress to impress this man, throwing the most classic bad girl look, with her skinny jeans, a white t shirt, your favorite black leather jacket and black boots with heels. You wanted to look sexy and fierce but just a touch of cute so you wouldn’t scare him away so you add a bow on your hair which was placed in a high ponytail. Makeup was cute and you made sure to smell nice. Yes! You were decided to go forth and face your dream man!

"Okay ____ you can do this!" You said to herself  "You are a sexy stallion charging to her objecting…..WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST SAY TO MYSELF!?" You palmed you face to check if you were okay but then the door opened, "Focus ___! Oh…wait…he's coming! Quick, act cool!"

Acting cool meant to stand tall and placing your body close to the wall. The original plan was to stand that way, wait for Jimin to come out and you would spring forth saying "Hey sweet thing, you look like you need a bad girl in your life. Fortunately I, ____ , can help you with that, wanna go out with me?" Or at least that was what you wanted. Instead the outcome was a little different.

You got off the wall and calmly went to search for Jimin. Just as you were about to speak, a guy from Jimin’s class by the name of Jeon Jungkook accidentally pushed you. And just like that, you went rolling forward falling in front of your crush once more but this time was even worse. Your heels were no good in this situation getting stuck on a crack on the floor, causing you to twist your foot and went falling down, but luckily this time Jimin catched you just as you were falling.

"I know I am going to sound like a dork but I have to say this" Jimin said holding you, "I really must have you falling for me huh?"

You blushed intensely and laughed with the most nervous laugh you had ever had in your life. Jimin was a dork but you adored that about him. He softly lifted you and helped you get to a bench to help your damaged foot.

"I…I'm….I'm…." You could barely talk, he was so close! She could smell his scent, that of soap and wind. It was a weird and fitting combination.

"You're _____" He laughed "Yeah I know who you are. But…but please don't think I'm a stalker….I'm….I'm just….I have seen you and….."

"I'm….I'm….I'm ____" you kept mumbling, "And…and I wanna….you look like….you wanna go out with me…"

You meant to say it as a question but the way you said it sounded as thought you were actually stating that he wanted to date you, which made Jimin blush a lot.

"Am I that obvious?" he scratched his head and chuckled a nervous laugh.

"Wait….You wanna go out with me?" You asked confused. WAIT? The seduction technique worked?

"Yeah….I was going to ask you out sooner but it's just…You're so beautiful and I was really really nervous! I mean you look so cool and I'm no way as cool as you."

"Are you crazy? I was going to ask YOU out! But how?….when?….HAH!?”

Jimin laughed and smiled with a cute radiating smile that just made you squeal inside.

"I fell for you when I first saw you in the cafeteria. You were wearing such a hot outfit, you came in like the queen of the place and automatically I thought that you were the most attractive girl I had ever seen. I know I'm sounding so corny and I'm sorry…."

"Don't be" you interrupted him, "I fell for you that day too. I thought you looked so handsome and smart and just…I can't even begin to describe it"

"So it's settled, would you like to go out on a date with me Ms. ______?"

"I would love to Mr. Jimin" you smiled widely.

**********ends flashback*************

And ever since then you became inseparable. So much so that you saw him every time you could. You both either had a date somewhere, or one would go the others houses going back and forth from one apartment to another. It was like being on cloud nine, a cute angelical and dorky cloud nine. By now you have been in a relationship for a year and you both decided it was time to live together and continue with your working lives. You adored Jimin more day by day and life without him was unthinkable. But then why was there a need for more? You didn't want to ruin the relationship you already had, it was great as it was. But you needed to feel him closer to you. "More!" Your mind screamed, "MORE!"

One day you were jogging and blasting your playlist to you favorite music when by chance you found your old friend from college, Park Sunyoung.

"It's good to see you're okay, Sunyoung! Haven't seen you since we left college, Me with Jimin and you with Namjoon. How is that crab loving idiot anyways?" You joked.

"He's doing great!" she smiled ignoring the playful remark made to her lover, "We are finally together and life is becoming quite…exciting!"

"Wow! Jimin and I moved in together as well! Sounds like we're both sharing a same fate."

"Oh so you understand what it's like" Sunyoung giggled, "Living with Joonie is quite a change. What with sharing meals, things, sharing a bed."

"Yeah! It's kind of weird at first but you get used to it. It's really worth it when you two are finally alone and just being close."

"Tell me about it! Joonie doesn't even leave my side. And well we are a woman and a man. To be honest being with him is like a whole new experience"

"What do you mean by you're a woman and a man?" You looked at her confused.

"Oh…you know….we're together….in a same bed… in the same house… lots of things happen"

You finally noticed and opened you eyes wide like a plate.

"You do IT with Namjoon!?"

"But of course. Ever since college. But now that we live together it's been constant. I….I can't make him stop!" Sunyoung placed her hands on her cheeks to hide her blushing, "I can't resist him….I just adore his rouge physique"

"STOP STOP STOOOOOP! I don't want to know about your sex life with Namjoon! That's gonna leave serious scars in my mind"

"Oh stop it like you haven't done the same with Jimin!" Sunyoung blushed.

"Well….um…Yeah! Jimin and I do it all the time" you lied. You didn't need Sunyoung and Namjoon knowing Jimin had not once tried to even attempted to try to get you to do it. "He's fierce! Leave's me so satisfied"

Your voice sounded kind of exaggerated as you said those words. You looked away and tried to change the subject as quick as she could.

"So yeah anyways! Umm…I'm glad I got to see you! I have to go. Jimin’s waiting at home! Hope to see you soon! BYEE!" You started jogging fast towards your apartment.

It was almost unbelievable what you were thinking. You lied to your best friend since freshman year about your sex life! But if you had said anything to the contrary  Sunyoung would have told Namjoon all about it and that was likely to spread a wildfire. DAMN IT! You needed a plan and fast! How does one even seduce a man? You had never even done it with a man. Normally because of your attitude people always thought you were an experienced girl but truth be told you were still a beginner when it came to sex. All you knew was how to kiss and how to touch his chest. You needed a plan to make Jimin realize that he was living with a WOMAN and this woman was in a need for her man!

The next day you had gone out shopping and had made plans for a romantic dinner. You cooked him dinner, set a table with candles, made the room smell like vanilla and prepared you weapons for seduction. The game was set and all you needed was the centerpiece, your lovely boyfriend.

Jimin came home from a long day of work, hoping for some rest and quiet and as he entered the room he saw his girlfriend standing in front of the table wearing a hot strapless red dress that went all the way to the middle of your thigh and black heels. Your hair was let loose and you were blushing like crazy which made you look cuter Jimin’s eyes.

"What….what's with this?" Jimin asked confused and excited at the same time.

"I…I wanted to give you a surprise. We never did celebrate our moving in here situation. So I thought it would be nice to have a romantic dinner just the two of us." You smiled timidly.

Jimin had a feeling that he quickly oppressed in his mind. Having you standing there looking at him as if waiting for an answer and all he could think of was devouring your lips. But he wasn't like that. He needed to be calm, collected. For your sake he must not let out his true feelings. What if you get scared of what he truly wants to do to you? Even with your tough exterior, in his mind you were cute and innocent in a way. That's one of the many things he adored of you. But if he ever let out the sudden need he always felt for you whenever you kissed you would be scared of him and maybe run away. And right now in this phase of their relationship he wanted and needed you to be by his side always.

"So…..?" You said snapping Jimin out of his thoughts.

"It's awesome honey! I'm really honored" he smiled.

DARN IT! No reaction! Just his usual smile! You needed to make more moves! Jimin was going to fall for you if it was the last thing you ever did in your life!

Both of you sat down in the nicely arranged table and immediately Jimin tried to make sweet conversation about his daily routine. You loved listening to his stories about work because he always had something funny to tell. You just laughed all the time and threw your head back revealing you neck in the most seductive way. Jimin gulped audibly as you were still laughing not noticing his reactions “DOES THIS WOMAN NOT KNOW HOW SEXY SHE IS!?” He thought. You were going to be the end of him for sure. As the conversation and the dinner went on, you both talked calmly as you usually did but the tension was in the air.

"I'm going to go bring dessert" you said as you got up and walked into the kitchen. Jimin sighed in relief but that relief was only brief. He was going to lose it and soon. The way you move your hips as you walked and the smell of your perfume that came from you body and long flowing hair that touched your white silky skin. He used all the self-restrain he could possibly contain and tried to smile tenderly as you came back with chocolate fondue and strawberries. “I think a great dinner should have a lovely desert! You wanna try them?" you ask innocently, knowing well the situation you were creating was far from that.

"Yeah! I’m sure it tastes delicious!" Jimin smiled as he grabbed a strawberry and dipped it in chocolate. “Wow, that’s so good!”

"I wanted something different for this occasion, can I try some of yours?" You asked, opening your lips slightly expecting him to feed you. Jimin grabbed another strawberry and dipped it in the chocolate as he carefully placed it in your mouth but a drip of chocolate accidentally fell on your cleavage. "Woops"

Jimin felt he was done for.

Worse, he was horny as fuck!

The internal good side of Jimin kept telling him to maintain calm and posture but the internal demon yelled him to kiss you and make you scream in pleasure as he licked all the chocolate from your body. Rationality won in this case and just exhaled as he grabbed a napkin to clean you gently.

"I'm sorry, ____! I….I can clean it for you" he started cleaning you cleavage but had not analyzed the implication that would involve cleaning you would also mean touching your skin. His cheeks turn pink as he nervously tries to avoid the gaze of your eyes focusing on your skin. You felt the graze of his fingers in the lightest way making you close your eyes and just sighed. You were so close to one another. The tension was rising. He had you there, your eyes closed as if waiting for him to kiss you. He got closer and closer…feeling her breath and smelling your perfume. You were so close….

"Jimin I…" You opened her eyes and instinctively moved bumping you head with his accidentally, "OWW! I'M SO SORRY!"

"It's okay" he rubbed his head. That was a close call. He needed to calm down. He needed a cold shower. He needed to….

"Kiss me" you said softly.

"Huh?" Jimin blinked surprised at your sudden command.

"Kiss me…..please….kiss me" you pleaded with a soft sexy voice. This was too much for him. He slowly got closer and kissed you softly on your lips, kissing you gently and tenderly. You grabbed his cheek, his hand still in your chest as you tilted your head giving more space to deepen the kiss. It didn’t take long for the innocence to be forgotten replaced by the sudden need of each other. Each kiss was intensifying your need and it was beginning to hurt how much you wanted each other.

"We…we can't" Jimin mumbled between kisses and suddenly stopped you, "We...can't"

"Why?" You mumbled against his lips. The overwhelming haze leaving you disoriented and confused at what he was saying.

"I….I need to think….I need to breathe for a sec"

He breathed heavily, catching his breath from all the kissing. But you couldn’t afford to let him straighten his thoughts, one false move and we go back to square one. It was time for action.

You grabbed his hand and led him to the bedroom where you continued the make out session initiated at the dinner table. Normally you weren’t like this. You would be very nervous to even seduce Jimin but you were just about done with all of this sexual tension and just decided to move by instinct. You began to slowly start unzipping you dress and letting it slowly fall down revealing your matching black lace bra and panties you had recently acquired for him. His surprise visible in his gaze as he looked you up and down and pushed him to the bed and you got on top of him.

You kissed Jimin deeply once again and felt how he was just as turned on as you were. He wanted to touch your skin, and he did. He grabbed you by the waist tracing his fingers upwards and back down again in a slow movement that’s cause you to moan against his lips when he came close to touching your chest. God help him that moan just caused his already intense hard on to fucking pulse in his pants.

But the moan was also a trigger in his mind. He needed to come back to reality. He needed to stop. So he just looked to the side and stopped kissing you.

"Why? Why do you stop?" You asked confused.

"We need to stop" He said still looking away from you, averting your gaze.

That was the last straw. After all the effort you had put into this you were at your wits end. You have never felt rejected by Jimin but somehow the fact that he didn’t want to even look at you was hurtful enough to understand that you had failed.

"I understand...I must be really bad at this" You sighed and covered your face, "I'm really that bad at seducing my own boyfriend! I mean I'm so disgusting you won't even look at me"

Jimin felt like he had been hit by a dagger in his heart. That was not it at all. God if only you knew!

"NO! of course not ____! It's not that!" he said softly.

"I'm doing my best to try to make you desire me! I tried all I know and it wasn't even easy to take off my clothes in front of you like this. I was afraid you'd reject me and my fears were confirmed. I guess I'm not good at seducing you" your voice was starting to crack and tears were forming in your eyes. Dejected, you get up from the bed leaving a very sad Jimin lying there. His clothes a mess after all the intense scene. You picked up you dress from the floor and turned one last time to face him "Just forget about all of this. I….I just…I'm just no good"

"_____ it's not that!" he insisted.

"Well then what is it?" You exclaimed crying "I tried everything I could. I wanted to touch you and be touched by you! I need you close to me. I thought we could finally move a step closer and you don't even want me! I'M A WOMAN TOO! I WANT TO FUCK YOU GODDAMIT! And now I've ruined it because of this stupid impulse now you don't want me anymore and…."

You were interrupted by a fierce pair of lips whom belonged to your boyfriend who kissed you passionately. Your eyes let the tears fall a little more and even though there was a sort of resistance at first Jimin held you tightly next to him. Nowhere to go but his arms. Your dress fell on the floor once more and he kept holding you tenderly. You kept cried as you reciprocated his hug causing Jimin to start stroking your hair.

"I'm so sorry _____. I….didn't want you to feel this way. I tried to prevent this from happening”

"Because you don't want me"

"BECAUSE I WANT TO FUCK YOU SO BAD!" you opened your eyes widely as you looked at him in an utter state of confusion "Yeah I desire you with all my body and heart! There have been countless amount of times I have wanted to just bend you over and make you cum and scream my name till you forget everything you know and only think of the pleasure I’m giving you. But I don't want to hurt you and I don't want you to be afraid of me."

"Why would I be afraid of you?" You asked.

"Because once I take you, and make you mine, I'm afraid I'm going to want more and more and more and I am going to become this sexual beast. I just….I don't want you to be afraid of me because I seriously yearn for you!"

"You're an idiot!" You cried hugging him and hiding your face in his chest.

"It's okay honey! I deserve to be called an idiot and more from you because I have let my guard down and hurt you….."

"SHUT UP JIMIN! Have you ever thought for a second that maybe I want you to fuck me again and again? I love you! I love you with all my heart and I want to have you near me and feel you inside and be one." You started giggling out of the absurdity of the situation, "You know I was afraid of that too, afraid that I might lose control and become a sex addict for you and that would scare you away or that my kinks were too intense for someone as adorable and loving as you"

"Really?" Jimin opened his eyes wide. “Because if we’re talking kinks I have many in mind”

"Yes! I love you Park Jimin and if I become a sex addict I shall become addicted to you. You are all I need" you said and suddenly laughed "I sounded so corny didn't I?"

"A little" he laughed too "but I love you when you're corny, even with the serious tough girl facade you try to pull I love that you can be your cute self with me. I love you ____, I love every single fiber of you."

You blushed wildly causing your face to be full on red. Jimin was an angel but he had a dark side to him and she adored him even more! You kissed passionately once again, going back to where you once began. You started by taking his clothes off and kissing his chest and neck. His body had some freckles which you made sure to kiss each one. Slowly but surely he laid you on the bed as he hovered on top, all clothes scattered on the floor as both of you are kissing and touching each other. This time you could feel the shift in the way he kissed. It wasn’t sweet like he usually did, it was tough and demanding, he had liberated the inhibitions that slowed him down and became much more fierce. His kisses lowered from your lips to your neck, to your chest, to your stomach, to that sweet spot of your heat that was ready for him to explore.

“You’re already this wet for me, babygirl?” He asked with the most smug smile. The feeling of Jimin’s breath up your needy pussy was exhilarating and new. He saw you clenching in response to the question he made and took it as a signal to continue.

Carefully he spread your legs to give him a deeper view of your wet cunt as he started licking your folds leaving them all glossy and spreading the wetness all around. You bit your lower lip from the pleasure you felt as he kept touching you. Soon enough he started licking your clit and sucking it, producing not only a lewd sound coming from his mouth but also from your mouth as you moaned his name in response to the overwhelming pleasure it was starting to produce.

“Is this what you’ve been dreaming of?” He rasped looking in you with darkened eyes. “Because this is exactly what I have dreamed for. You cute little pussy squelching to be fucked by my dick” he sucked hard and probed a finger inside quickly finding your g spot as if he were familiar with your entire body, the action making you scream. “answer me when i talk to you baby girl”

“Yes babe I also dreamed of this” you were panting running your hand in his smooth hair. This change in Jimin’s personality was so strange but exhilarating to see. You weren’t one to complain especially because he seemed to know what he was doing. you were so close to cumming from the movements he was doing with both tongue and fingers, “But I dreamed even more about having your dick inside me”

“Soon” he huffed wiggling his fingers in and out of your pussy, “I want to enjoy this as much as possible.”

You couldnt last long, those fingers were a sin moving inside you. Soon the waves of pleasure hit you fiercely as they never before. Sure you have masturbated before but the orgasm you reached with only Jimin’s hand was something you’ve never felt before.

Angel Jimin was beautiful but there was something exciting about seeing his face dirty with your juices as he talked dirty into your pussy. It seemed forbidden, but just right. He went up to kiss you giving you a taste of what your cum tasted like from his lips. Salty, sweet, heavenly.

It was an exciting feeling to have him all over you, though it wasn’t fair for him to be the only one doing the most. You wanted to provide him pleasure as well but he stopped you. “There would be enough time for that later” he said touching his hard on “I’m at the brink and i need to feel you”

Before you knew it you saw Jimin placed on a condom, the details of where this could have come from escape your mind since you were too lost in a lustful haze to even care. Slowly he took the time to enter your body letting you adjust to his length. The width of his hard cock was painful at first but you soon started feeling a pleasurable sting.

"If it hurts I'll stop, okay?" Jimin said and you only nodded as he moved.

He entered slowly and you only closed your eyes. “Fuck, baby girl you’re so tight….just desperate for my cock aren’t you?”

It was perfection. No other word could describe how you felt. Both of you were together, finally touching and kissing each other, both letting yourselves be embraced by your own passion for each other. Your body seemed to be made to fit his cock, quickly adjusting to his size and holding on to his neck as your hips started to move on their own. All coherence in your brain was long forgotten, only sensations and pleasure. Words like "Yes!", "Faster!" and "harder!" escaped your mouth and Jimin could only comply to your orders.

In Jimin’s eyes you were exquisite, your body divine responding so well to his touch and his thrusts. He was enjoying your body all he could exploring ever single corner or her with both hands and lips. the first one holding on to your body going up and down feeling your soft skin and finding places that would make you shiver with just a simple touch. The second tasting your sweat and resting on your breasts as he took the time to adore them for the beauty they were.

“Jimin, I’m so close” You moan reaching your high so quickly. Your body was already sensitive from your first orgasm that the stimulation Jimin was giving you was sending you even more tidal waves of your second orgasm. This did nothing to slow down Jimin’s pace. Quite contrary his pace started quickening, his tongue flicking your nipple roughly  and grabbing your ass firmly.

“Oh no you asked for this, this isn’t going to end soon. My cock has been yearning for your sweet wet pussy for far too long, it’s gonna be a long l o n g night” he said emphasizing the word long with each thrust he pulled.

Jimin swiftly turned you around placing go on top of him and deepening the thrust. this angle allowed his cock to go even deeper touching you g spot with the head and the thrust was even fiercer.

“Jimin...you’re so good to me” you were out of breath, hands switching from holding on to his thighs to his chest for support as you jumped up and down. “ this si even better than my dreams. your cock is so gooood”

“Tell me how much you love my cock” he spanked your ass leaving a red mark, the sting pleasurable and exciting.

“I just…. love your fucking cock” you kept bounced grabbing your breasts as they bounced out of control with the rhythm, “fuck….Jimin I’m gonna cum again!!”

“Same for me baby girl” his breath panting in faster as he developed an unstable rhythm with each thrust “your pussy has me fucked up!”

His thrust were slowing down but the depth was still deep enough to have you scream his name and a bunch of other profanities as you both came at the same time. Soon after you both laid on the bed exhausted and utterly, extremely and divinely happy.

"SWEET FRECKLED JESUS!" you shouted completely out of breath "what was that? That was…..that was….”

"That was amazing" he finished your sentence and kissed you sweetly. "How are you feeling? I didn't hurt you did I?"

"It hurt a little but it was more overwhelming i forgot about the pain quick” you rested your head on his chest as you sighed deeply. “I never thought it was possible for me to be this happy! I…I love you Jimin!" you hugged him tight basking in the post coital glow.

Jimin turned to see you, his eyes now filled with concern and back to his regular spark. far from the darkened circles you had seen as he fucked you mercilessly. as exciting as that was nothing can beat seeing your boyfriend being a sweetheart. "_____, I want you to promise me you will never doubt yourself again. I can't believe you would think I didn't want you"

"How was I supposed to think? You were avoiding me!"

"Oh my god! Do you know how hard it is to have you here with me and see you shaking your adorable tushie around the house and not being able to spank you? When the chocolate fell on your cleavage I wanted to lick it so bad. You are sensuality in its purest form! Everything you do drives me wild"

"Well from here forward you have my full permission to go ahead with all the impulses you have. Who knew I had such a bad boy with me? And here I thought you were a saint" you joked.

"Oh I'm no saint. I'm a man and this man adores his woman so much" he kissed you sweetly again and just held you for a while "I promise I will take care of you and to love you even if it takes a lifetime"

"I'm willing to go with that challenge" you smiled as you kissed your lover's chest.

[heyyyharry]

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire

(from the Couple in Flat 102 Series)

…in which Y/N discovers a terrible truth, and Harry‘s proposal ring is stolen.

Something awful happened to me today so I sat down I wrote for two hours straight to finish this chapter because I needed to feel happy even if it’s only in fiction 😤

Hear that? Wedding bells are ringing.

wattpad link

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Harry was very protective of the women in his life — his love Y/N, his mother Anne, and his sister Gemma; sometimes too protective (which couldn't be mentioned enough). But he was not the one to blame, he'd grown up being the only man in the family and therefore had always pressured himself to be the one who kept his loved ones safe and well taken care of.

So it was pretty normal that he got extra concerned every time his sister started a new relationship. Whenever that happened, he insisted on meeting the guy Gemma was seeing, just to talk, like civil men; and if the dude was a total scumbag, then he'd have to try to get rid of him, without throwing any punches of course.

This time was no exception. Gemma had moved back to London recently because she'd been seeing someone here for about a month now. Harry had never met him, but she'd shown him the photos, and that day they would meet for the first time at Harry's flat.

"When are they gonna be here?" Y/N asked with her arms wrapped around her boyfriend's waist from behind while he was making coffee for the two of them.

"Soon I think," he replied, checking the time on his watch. "I can't wait to meet this man, she told me all kinds of things about him."

"Good or bad things?"

"Good." Harry unwrapped her arms around his torso to hand her the coffee cup. "That is why he's so suspicious. No man is that nice."

"You are." Y/N bit back a smile as she watched one formed on her boyfriend's handsome face.

"You're such a flirt." He snorted, grazing her sides gently. "But I'm serious, you can never be too cautious. They had only known each other for a few days before they got together, not like us."

His relationship with Y/N had now become a parameter for the other relationships he knew, because of course, he was proud of what they have, it was the best thing that had ever happened to him honestly.

"You know, I actually agree with you this time." Y/N rolled her eyes. "Remember when I told you Ben just started dating his co-worker last week?"

"Oh, yeah, how are they?"

"I know nothing about the guy, not even his name! Well, Ben did show me a photo of him before they got together, but that's it, nothing else besides the fact that Ben's obsessed with him!" Y/N paused to blow into her coffee and take a sip, furrowing her eyebrows. "I mean, he's practically planning their wedding inside his head and rarely hangs out with me anymore. I'm happy for Ben but I think he's moving too fast."

"Right? I feel like people are just rushing into relationships nowadays." Harry scoffed while shaking his head. "They should all learn from us."

Y/N snorted when she hear what he said. "You mean they should all keep their feelings to themselves, pretend they hate each other then only confess when they feel like they might lose the other person?"

"No!" Harry laughed, though his girlfriend had just accurately summed up their whole relationship in one question. "They should get to know each other well first, every good relationship starts with a good friendship."

"I love how you've only been in one serious relationship and you're talking like an expert now. That's hot." She smirked and leaned in to kiss him on the mouth because he kept biting his lip and for that she couldn't help herself anymore.

Harry cracked a smile when his girlfriend pushed him a step backward, so she could set the cup down on the table behind him to hold his face, putting more pressure into their kiss. Oh she definitely wanted him.

"What are you doing?" Y/N sighed in frustration as he pulled away, and when Harry brought his hands to cup her cheeks, she had to open her eyes and look at him.

"As much as I'd like to see you bent over on this table..." Harry groaned and gently tucked her hair behind her ear. "I don't want my sister to hear us having sex...again."

"I'm still mad at you for the last time." Y/N pouted as she recalled the Christmas they spent with his family. "We were at your mum's house and you couldn't keep it in your pants!"

"I told you to be quiet, didn't I?" He chuckled, receiving an eye-roll from Y/N who couldn't say anything else because it was true. She couldn't be quiet, not with him, ever.

The doorbell rang at last, so Harry kissed his girlfriend on the cheek and promised he'd make it up to her later. Y/N followed him outside to answer the door. To be honest, she was also curious about the person Gemma was dating. Y/N had only seen one of his photos and she didn't even remember what he looked like. What was his name again? Joel? Joey? Joseph? Well, whatever it was, he sounded like a real deal according to Gemma, so Y/N could see why Harry was so eager to find out if this man lived up to these expectations of him.

"Hey, kids! Sorry we're late, traffic was terrible!" Gemma sighed with a smile when she entered and gave her brother and his girlfriend a hug. "So, here's my boyfriend Joe. Come in, babe."

Joe appeared at the door wearing a massive grin on his face and went in for that handshake with Harry. The man's politeness and good-looks had really impressed the protective little brother, you could see it in Harry's reaction. Y/N, however, was the opposite. She knew she didn't have a very good memory, she tended to forget a lot of things (except for Harry's mistakes), but this time she was sure she wasn't wrong.

That man, Joe, Gemma's new boyfriend, was the same man Ben was dating.

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"Coffee, tea, water?" Harry asked the two guests, who were now seated on the sofa in the middle of the living room.

"Coffee please," answered Gemma and Joe quickly said he'd have a cup as well.

"I love coffee," he added.

Of course he does! Y/N thought as she had her eyes fixed on this man, or should she say, this liar!

Ben had told her a few days ago that his boyfriend was obsessed with coffee. They'd got to be the same person. All she needed to know now is the name of Ben's boyfriend's. He always referred to the guy as 'the guy I like' then later on 'my boyfriend', but never by name. If his name was also Joe, then we'd got a big problem over here.

Y/N quickly excused herself to go make a call then left the flat before anyone could say anything else to her.

"Where's Y/N?" Harry asked when he returned with the drinks and joined his sister and her boyfriend on the sofa.

"She went out to take a call," answered Gemma as she looked a bit bewildered. "She's been acting so weird since we arrived. Is everything fine between you two?"

"Yeah, better than fine!" Harry shrugged. "Before you got here we were about to—"

"Harry!" Gemma quickly held up a hand to stop her brother from finishing that sentence. "I don't want to hear details about your sex life."

"Jesus, Gem, we don't have sex all the time," Harry argued, making Gemma raise an eyebrow and her boyfriend burst into laughter.

"Yeah, you do! The last time—" Gemma swung her arms all of a sudden, causing her elbow to bump into her boyfriend's hand causing him to spill black coffee onto his white button up shirt.

"Arghhh!"

"My God, I'm sorry, love! Are you alright?!" Gemma covered her mouth as her boyfriend jumped away from the sofa.

"I'm fine, but my shirt..." He sighed, eyes on the stain which doubtlessly couldn't be washed off immediately. "Man, I've got this appointment in two hours and I'll be late if I return home to change."

"Oh, I can lend you one!" Harry rose from the sofa. "I'll go get it for you."

"No, it's fine, you stay here, I'll go."

"Okay, the bedroom's over there, just pick one from the closet."

"Thanks mate. I very appreciate that," said Joe as he gave Harry a smile and Gemma a kiss on the forehead before leaving. Once he was gone, Gemma gave Harry a look, which he couldn't just ignore.

"What?"

"You were actually being nice to my boyfriend."

The little brother scoffed as he heard her. "You're making me sound like I'm such a terrible person."

"No, no you're not. You're my wonderful baby brother." She giggled and pinched his cheek.

The atmosphere in the living room was in contrast to Y/N's anxiety in the hallway. Ben didn't pick up the phone, and now Y/N remembered he was on a camping trip with his family and there was probably no signal there. He'd be back in two days, so she left him a text instead; but as always, Y/N got impatient, and decided to do the research on her own anyway. The best way to do so was through social media.

This should be easy, she thought.

Well, bad luck for Y/N, that guy didn't have an Instagram or Facebook, so he was either living under a fake name or under a rock. He could be a spy for all she knew! Well, there was nothing else she could do right now but to be patient and wait for Ben's reply while keeping this as a secret for now. If Harry found out, he'd definitely murder the guy for breaking his sister's heart, even when Y/N hadn't got a solid proof other than her own memory.

Y/N was about to return inside when the door was opened and Gemma stepped out with her boyfriend, or Ben's boyfriend. This is confusing.

"Are you guys leaving?"

"Yeah, Joe's got a meeting soon, we'll stop by another time," Gemma replied, pulling Y/N into a hug. "Goodbye love. Have a great day!"

"You too."

Y/N watched the couple laughing on their way to the lift, like everything was fine. She couldn't blame Gemma for being happy with a cheater, Gemma didn't know. But did Ben know? No, that couldn't be, Ben was a good guy, he'd been cheated on before, he wouldn't do it to another person. Well, whatever it was, Y/N would find out.

"There you are!"

"Harry! You scared me!" Y/N gasped as she turned around to her boyfriend dumbfoundedly staring at her.

"What've you been doing out here?"

"Answering a work call."

That was the first time she'd ever lied to Harry in a month or so (the last being her telling him the new joke he'd invented was funny, it wasn't), she felt pretty guilty, but she was left with no choice!

Y/N was afraid Harry might suspect something was up so she quickly distracted him by wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Now that they're gone..." The corners of her lips turned up as she whispered softly into his ear, "...wanna bend me over on the table?"

"Fuck. I love you." Harry breathed, firm hands gripping her hips and pulling her back into their flat. His lips were already attached to her neck as soon as the door had been locked behind them.

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Two days after his sister's visit, Harry found out something valuable was missing.

It was a regular Sunday and out of the blues, Harry decided to check on the proposal ring he'd been keeping in the bottom drawer in his and Y/N's shared closet, probably because they had been watching 'My Best Friend's Wedding' last night and he was just in the mood to think about weddings.

But as soon as Harry reached his hand inside, his heart stopped beating and his entire body turns to stone. He threw out all the old clothes in the drawer, desperately searching with the hope that the little box got stuck somewhere in the piles. He was just not that lucky, not today.

Harry rarely freaked out, it was Y/N's job, but now his mind was blank and the only sound he could hear was his internal voice screaming 'shit' repeatedly.

There was only one person he could call for help.

Niall.

"Are you sure you've kept it here this whole time?"

"Yes, when we first moved in I put it in that drawer myself! Now it's gone!" Harry put both hands on his hips, trying to catch his breath as he hopeless looked around the room and then at Niall. He just hoped Y/N didn't happen to find the ring because if she did, his entire proposal plan would be ruined.

"Well." Niall raised an eyebrow. "Why'd you think it'd be a good idea to keep something as valuable as a ring in a drawer?"

"Jeez, Niall, I'm sure keeping it in a safe would not be obvious at all!" Harry swung his arms in the air, laughing sarcastically. "Besides, it's the only place Y/N never looks into."

"Are you guys talking about me?"

"Jesus Christ!" Harry almost shouted when he heard his girlfriend, who was standing right at their bedroom door. Lucky for him, she hadn't been there long enough to hear more than she was allowed to. His suspicious reaction to her showing up, however, let her know he'd been up to something. He and Niall were definitely keeping a secret from her.

Y/N crossed her arms, glaring at them both. "Spill it or I'll make you."

"I don't know what you're talking about, love."

"Oh please!" She scoffed. "You nearly had a heart attack when I came in here. What's going on?"

The two men exchanged looks, hoping silence would just send Y/N away, but she was persistent, and apparently not leaving until she received a decent response.

"You didn't open this drawer, did you?" Harry finally asked, and she didn't hesitate to shake her head no.

"We keep only old clothes in there, I can't even remember the last time I checked what was inside."

Harry gave his best friend an 'I-told-you-so' look, then turned back to his girlfriend. "Has anyone been in our room lately?"

"Not that I know of." She shook her head, squinting her eyes at him. "Are you looking for something?"

"Of course not!" Harry nearly jumped in reaction to that inquiry. He was such a terrible liar; his lying skill had gone down tragically ever since the beginning of their relationship, and now he was not sure if it was a good thing anymore.

"Well, if you are, I can help you find it," Y/N said with a shrug. "Just tell me what it is."

"It's something belongs to Niall." Harry quickly pointed to his best friend, who was looking as puzzled as ever, yet he played along because one should always support their best friend in all circumstances.

"Yeah, something very personal," Niall lied. "I don't want you to know."

"Are you sure?" Y/N raised an eyebrow at her boyfriend and his best friend. "Because I can find mostly anything in this flat. Harry, on the other hand, starts whining every time something goes missing."

"That is not true!"

"Oh yeah? Last time you told me you lost your car keys and later I saw it in the fridge, so your argument is invalid," she told him before turning back to Niall. "So? Need any help?"

"We're grown men. We'll figure it out." Harry stepped up before Niall could speak for himself. The assertive look on his face almost makes Y/N burst into laughter.

"Right Niall?" Harry then nudged his friend for a confirmation and Niall quickly nodded to agree with him.

"Right!"

Y/N could either stay here and try to get an answer out of them, or she could just let them do whatever they want, until something blew up and they had to come asking for her help. She soon decided the latter was a better option.

"Okay, fine." She twitched her lips and gave them a shrug. "Make sure you grown men remember to take out the trash."

"Me as well? I don't even live here!" Niall shouted after Y/N when she left. She didn't respond to him as she closed the door on her way out, leaving them alone to deal with whatever crisis they refuse to let her know. She'd got a bigger problem to take care of anyway.

She'd just got off the phone with Ben last night, and he'd told her his boyfriend's name was Joe. So that was settled, the truth had been revealed, well, to Y/N at least, nobody else knew. Ben was obsessed with this Joe and she was pretty sure Gemma was too. She couldn't just tell either of them they were being cheated on on the phone, she needed to talk to them in person; Ben first. So now she was on her way to meet him.

Ben's first reaction to the news was quite predictable. He laughed, crossing his arms and leaning his back against the chair, looking quite amused. Of course he didn't believe her, there was no solid proof.

"I don't get you, Y/N. Before we started dating you were so supportive but now you're trying to convince me he's cheating on me."

"Because he is!" Y/N cried out. Thankfully, she'd got this all planned out, she'd managed to find that one photo of Gemma and her boyfriend in Harry's family group chat (yes, she's in there now, might as well brag about that). It'd taken her an entire hour to scroll up because Harry had sent a lot of irrelevant stuff in there, but she got it, the solid proof.

"Here."

"What the fuck?!" Ben grabbed her phone, gripping it with both hands and she could imagine fire coming out of his ears. She hadn't seen him this upset since his last failed engagement with that guy named Mark. Well...Poor Ben, the second he found a new happiness, the guy turned out to be a shithole as well.

"So what are you gonna do?"

"Does this girl know about me?"

"I...I don't think so. Besides, they've been together for a month now..."

"So I'm the third person here? I stole somebody else's boyfriend!" Ben exhaled, the anger in his eyes was washed away and replaced by sadness and disappointment. His drink hadn't been touched and Y/N supposed he was not going to finish it anytime soon when he stood up all of a sudden.

"Where are you going?" She asked, taken aback by the serious look on his face.

"I'm going to find that asshole."

"You don't know where he—"

"I know his place. You can come with me if you want or I'll come on my own and rip his head off."

Shit that doesn't sound good. Y/N widened her eyes and rose from her seat in a flash because Ben had already stormed out of the coffee shop. Without a second thought, she picked up her bag and ran after him.

.

.

.

"Harry!" Sage popped her head through the door gap and gave her neighbor a welcoming smile.

"Hey Sage, can I talk to you for a sec?"

"Sure, but can you be quick, it's cold standing here like this, I'm about to take a shower and I'm not wearing anything."

It was not until now that Harry noticed a bit of her bare shoulder peaking out while the rest of her body was hidden behind the door. Harry immediately shifted his eyes to the floor, clearing his throat, thinking Y/N would kill him if she found out he came to talk to a naked Sage. Niall, on the other hand, found that situation hilarious.

"Were you in our flat yesterday?" He asked, pointing his thumb to his own door and Sage nodded right away.

"Yup, I was catsitting Treasure while you and Y/N were out."

Harry and Niall exchanged looks before turning back to the girl. "Did you go into our bedroom?"

"No, why would I?" She squinted her eyes at him in confusion. "Wait, are you accusing me of something?"

"No, no, of course not! It's just...I lost something and I was wondering if you happened to—"

"To steal it?! Are you calling me a thief, Harry?"

"No! Sage, look, I—" Before he could finish this sentence, Sage cut him short by slamming the door right in front of his nose.

That didn't go well at all, now his neighbor was offended and his ring was still missing.

"She seemed suspicious to me," said Niall as he raised an eyebrow.

"Well, I can't just ask her to let me in and search her flat."

"Sure you can. If you want to come in, she'll invite you in in a heartbeat. She answered the door naked when she heard your voice, mate!"

"Don't tell Y/N, she'll murder me," Harry said with a smile, which turned into a frown as he remembered about the ring.

"Who else was in your flat yesterday or the day before that?" Niall's question suddenly rang the bell in Harry's head.

"My sister and her boyfriend visited us two days ago and he went into our bedroom." Harry's eyes and mouth were opened wide now that the pieces were falling into place. "Shit, Niall, do you think he stole the ring?"

"Jeez, that's a rough accusation, H."

"Only one way to find out." Harry chewed the inside of his cheek as he pulled out the phone and dialed his sister's number.

Gemma picked up after about five seconds. "Hey, what's up?"

"Gem, are you with Joe right now?"

"No but I'm on my way to his flat, what is it?"

"Can I come too? I need to talk to you two about something, and get my shirt back."

"You don't need to do that, we'll come to you."

"No! I'm not home! Just text me the address I'll be there."

"Okay..."

Harry ended the call before his sister even got the chance to say goodbye, and turned to see Niall with uncertainty written on his face.

"Are we really doing this?" He asked Harry.

"Yeah, c'mon, you're coming with me."

"I'm too sober to join a fight, Harold."

Harry couldn't help but laugh as he heard his best friend. "Nobody needs to get hurt. I'm just gonna ask him politely, maybe pretend to go to the bathroom to search for the ring, but we're not gonna hit someone."

"On second thought." Niall chuckled as he thought. "If he really steals your ring and Gem finds out, she'll be the one to kick his ass."

"Yeah." Harry nodded, sighing contently. "I love my sister. Now let's go."

.

.

.

The lift door opened and Ben stormed out, followed by Y/N as she tried to catch her breath and begged him to slow down, because she couldn't catch up in those heels.

"Is he even home though?" Y/N asked once they reached his door but no one came answer when Ben rang the doorbell.

"Not yet apparently, but he told me he was coming home."

As soon as that sentence was finished, a text from Joe popped up on Ben's screen, it said he'd got an emergency call and wouldn't be back until tonight.

"Jeez, this asshole is good." Y/N's comment was entirely ignored by Ben.

"So we'll wait here then," he asserted, looking determined as he crossed his arms.

Y/N dropped her jaw immediately in shock. "Seriously? You're gonna sit here the entire day?"

"I need to beat him up, Y/N. He's a fucking cheater."

"Ben, darling, he's not worth your time, just call him and break up with him to get this over with. I'll talk to Gemma later, you're better than this."

Ben thought for a moment with his eyes glued to his feet, but just as he opened his mouth to say something, the lift arrived, causing both heads to turn with the hope that it was Joe.

It wasn't though, instead Harry and Niall stepped out.

"Y/N?" Niall asked and Harry had the same look as his girlfriend, absolutely startled.

"What are you and Ben doing here?"

"What are you and Niall doing here?"

There was a long pause of silence, each side was still waiting for the other to give them the answer, because they couldn't give their own. Y/N had made Ben promise her not to tell Harry because he'd got a bad-temper; and Harry and Niall certainly couldn't say half a word about the proposal ring that had gone missing. The silence therefore remained, until the lift door opened again.

This time, it was finally Joe, with Gemma by his side. Of course he'd lied about not coming home until tonight! Y/N should've guessed. But before anyone could react to this unusual 'coincidental' meeting in front of Joe's door, Ben stormed straight to his cheating so-called boyfriend to deliver a hard slap, right across his face, causing everyone to gasp in shock.

Gemma held onto Joe's arms to keep him on his feet and she was just as frightened as the rest of them.

"Who the hell are you?" She asked Ben, who stepped forward and pointed a finger to the cheater's face.

"Apparently, this asshole right here is dating both of us."

"What?" Gemma widened her eyes, cringing in disgust as she stepped away from Joe. Harry and Niall both turn to Y/N, who had her face buried into the palms of her hands, as if it could help her disappear.

"Did you know about this?!" He asked and all she could respond was a slight nod to admit the fact that she had the truth hidden from him that whole time.

Y/N expected Harry to kill Joe right on the spot, but before the thought even crossed his mind, it was Gemma who kneed Joe right in the nuts, causing everyone to shouted at the same time when he dropped down on his knees, holding his crotch in pain.

"Told ya," Niall leaned in to tell Harry, who was still too in awe to come up with a proper thing to say.

"We. Are. Over!" Gemma screamed at her now ex-boyfriend and forsook everyone without one look back, followed by an infuriated Ben as they both entered the lift together.

Harry nearly chased after them, but Y/N told him he should let his sister calm down before attempting to comfort her, to which Harry kind of agreed. He'd check on Gemma later, there was still one left unfinished business over here.

"So it was you who stole the ring, wasn't it?! You fucking liar!"

Joe was still groaning in pain on the floor so he probably hadn't heard that question, but Niall, as well as Y/N had heard it loud and clear.

"Ring? What ring?" Y/N grabbed Harry's shoulder to spin him around so they were face to face.

"Niall's ring," Harry lied, it was not the best excuse but it was the best one he could think of at the moment.

"Niall doesn't wear a ring." Y/N scoffed.

So Niall, being a good friend, jumped on board to defend Harry.

"Yes I do!"

"Oh yeah? How about I call Layla to ask her?"

When his girlfriend's name was brought up, Niall knew there was no other choice but to surrender.

"Okay, fine, it's not mine."

Harry rolled his eyes, now left with no choice but to tell her the truth.

"It's one of mines."

"But you have all your rings right here." She took his two hands to check each finger carefully, which left a smile on Harry's face. She remembered every single detail about him, which was why he loved her so much and he was not giving up until he saw that ring on her finger.

Ignoring Y/N's question, Harry turned back to Joe, who had managed to stand up on his own two feet, still the grimace on his face let the others know he was in a lot of pain. Gemma had gone hard on that one hit apparently.

"Did you steal the ring or not?" Harry repeated the question, only louder this time.

"What ring? I didn't steal shit, you people are all insane."

"You're lucky I haven't punch you for cheating on my sister, you asshole, did you steal the ring?"

"No! Jesus, I don't know any ring!"

Harry was very close to throw that punch when a door nearby opened. Surprisingly, Sage walked out, looking as stunned to see her acquaintances here as they were to see her.

"Wow, it's like everyone we know is in this building!" Niall chuckled but nobody else laughed along.

Sage immediately hid both hands behind her back when she'd become the center of attention, and Joe took that opportunity to escape into his flat in a blink of an eye. They let him go, nobody needed him anymore because Harry thought he'd found the cause to his not-so-tiny problem.

"Hey guys...What are you doing here?" Sage faked a smile, her voice was shaking when Harry approached her, which gave away the fact that she'd got something to hide. "I'm here to visit my grandma...but I should get going now..."

"Sage, show me your hands."

"Harry..."

He raised both eyebrows at her, lips pressed in a firm line, and the assertiveness in his eyes had her weak. She slowly offered him her left hand with her head hung low; and just like what he had expected, the ring was sitting nicely on her ring finger.

Niall's mouth fell open, whereas Y/N finally realized what was going on here. That was what he'd been hiding from her the whole time, he's got a proposal ring! She honestly didn't know what to feel to find out like this.

"I'm sorry..." Sage trembled with her face screwed up. "I tried it on and I can't take it off...I swear I didn't steal it."

Harry shut his eyes, sighing. He was more mad at himself than he was at his neighbor. Well, at least he'd found the ring, getting it off Sage's finger should be a piece of cake.

"Niall?" Harry turned back to his best friend, who somehow knew exactly what he needed to do.

"I've got lube in the car, maybe that'll work."

"Why do y—"

"Don't even ask, Y/N, you won't like the answer," replied Niall as he quickly walked away and the rest followed him in silence.

.

.

.

Harry blamed himself for the ring incident today.

Sure it was Treasure who had opened that drawer (according to Sage), and Sage who had tried the ring on without his permission to have it stuck on her finger and had been too embarrassed to come forward. But it was Harry who had asked Sage to babysit his cat, it was Harry who had kept the precious ring in the drawer, it was him who took too long to give it to the love of his life. Now she knew about the ring, she'd seen the ring (ironically, on the hand of another woman), and no matter what he'd got planned for the proposal (whenever it was), it was no longer a surprise, therefore not special anymore.

And Harry had no one else to blame but himself.

"How's Gemma?" Y/N asked the moment Harry showed up at their bedroom door. She was sitting on their bed, working on their laptop and he had just got back from his sister's place. He had spent the rest of the day with her to make sure she was okay.

"She's okay," Harry confirmed as he pressed his lips into a small smile, placing both hands on his hips. "Ben took her shopping and they talked shit about Joe together, I think they're good friends now. I had to carry their shopping bags around but it was kind of fun."

Y/N let out a laugh and watched her boyfriend sit down on the mattress with his feet on the floor and back facing her. He was quiet for the next few seconds, probably finding it awkward to avoid speaking of the ring when he knew it was what both of them were thinking of.

Y/N closed her laptop then rose up on her knees to come hug him from behind; now she had him sitting between her legs and her front pressed against his broad back. Harry held tightly onto her hands on his stomach, leaning back a bit to rest their bodies against one another, both eyes shut tight. He'd like her to hold him like this forever if possible.

"It's okay," Harry spoke, replying to what he assumed she'd probably been wondering about but too afraid to ask. "I suppose you want to know about the ring."

Y/N hummed and he felt her nodding her head.

"How long have you had it with you?"

"Long before we moved in, kept it in that bottom drawer this whole time," he answered, pointing to the closet to show her.

"Well...when are you gonna give it to me?"

"When we're both ready."

"And when's that?"

"I don't know." His answer made both of them chuckle. "But I've got it all planned out in my head already, wanted to surprise you but I was such a failure."

"Hey." Y/N huffed as she moved away, making him turn to the side to look at her; so she cupped his cheeks between her palms and stared into his eyes. "I love you so much, you're everything I've ever wanted, H. I'm always ready to say yes, you just need to ask."

Harry widened his eyes at her, obviously not expecting her to say that, now his heart just kept on jumping and he didn't think it'd ever stop. Harry knew that wasn't exactly the romantic scenery to pop the most important question of his life. However, he'd been waiting for way too long, and if he kept on waiting, many more opportunities would pass him by. Right now, they were happy, and in love, and that was all it mattered.

After a couple of thoughts, he stood up to her surprise, taking a deep breath and pulled out the little ring box from his pocket. Y/N already knew about the ring and his plan to propose, so why was she shivering and struggling to breathe right now? She laid both hands on her chest, lips slightly parted when he got down on one knee on the floor. Just the sight of that could already get her teared up.

So this really happening. This is real.

"I would improvise a speech if I were any good at that," he began. "So I'm gonna save it for when we're at the altar and just get straight to the point...Y/N Y/L/N, will you give me the honor of being your flatmate for the rest of my life?"

That was Y/N's breaking point. She couldn't hold it in anymore. She burst into tears.

"Yes, absolutely yes, yes, yes, yes!" Y/N started sobbing in joy as she tackled him onto the floor, showering his face with kisses and she still felt like she wasn't showing him enough love.

Harry begged his girl to stop before she suffocated him and pushed both of them to sit up so he could take her hand and replace their promise ring with the new one, just like his promise to her at the airport when he left for that Japan internship.

They'd finally made it there.

"I'm sorry there's no candles or balloons or roses," he mumbled against her lips while kissing them, yet those things were the last thing she cared about at that moment.

"You could've proposed to me while I was on the toilet, it would still have been romantic."

"See?" Harry pulled a way a bit to wipe the tears on her cheeks while grinning lovingly at the girl he adored. "That is exactly why I want to marry you."

"Gosh." She heaved a happy sigh, staring at the shiny object which fit her ring finger perfectly. "I love you so much I'll just ignore the fact that Niall's lube was on this ring."

Harry tossed his head back as he burst into laughter the moment she brought that up.

"I've washed it like a hundred times, I promise," he said, pulling her into his arms as they whispered soft 'I love you's to each other, like they always did. This time though, Harry could finally refer to Y/N as 'my fiancé ', and if it was not her who was gonna keep him up tonight, the exciting thought of that was gonna do the job.

.

.

.

"Hey, mate, can you get me an Uber? My phone's dead and my friends are too busy having sex to answer the door," Ben said to Nam, the doorman as he huffed and rolled his eyes. "Ugh I could hear them going at it the moment I stepped out of the lift."

"Y/N and Harry, right?" Nam asked, pulling out his phone to book a car for the stranger. "I've seen you with them a couple of times."

"Yeah." Ben faked a smile. "Lovely but crazy kids."

"What was that?"

"What?"

Nam chuckled as he saw the confused look on the man's face. "I don't know, you just seemed bothered by something. I could tell you were trying to act against how you really feel."

"Wow, you barely know me but you sound like you've known me for years." Ben wasn't gonna lie, this conversation was starting to make him feel better about his shitty day.

"Well?" Nam raised an eyebrow, causing Ben to crack a smile, a genuine one this time.

"Ugh, I wish I could say you were wrong," he finally admitted. "It's been a bad day for me and...never mind, you don't want to hear about my problems anyway."

"This building is filled with lonely people, my friend." Nam gave him a shrug, leaning forward with his arms resting on the edge of the desk. "Who do you think listens to them oversharing their daily problems, hmm?"

"So you get paid for sitting here and listening to free gossip? Now I'm jealous of your job."

The conversation was cut short by a notification on Nam's phone and he told Ben his ride had finally arrived.

"Goodbye...for now," Ben said to the doorman, and with a smile he marched towards the slide doors, half of him wanting to stay and talk for a bit longer.

However, just as he was about to leave the building, the doorman called after him, "what's your name, stranger?"

He turned around, a massive grin shown on his face. "It's Ben."

"See you around, Ben. I'm Nam."

With that, the two men waved at each other and Ben headed out to his Uber waiting for him outside. That one smile lingered on his face on the rest of the way home.

[kimnamjooonz]

Blank Space - Episode 6

Bad Blood

Songs That inspired this chapter: 

High Hopes - Panic! At the Disco

Bad Blood - Taylor Swift

Cause, baby, now we've got bad blood, you know it used to be mad love, so, take a look what you've done, cause, baby, now we've got bad blood.

Sebastian was pacing around his apartment, still overwhelmed by the events of the day. He had just got a text from his girlfriend asking him if she could drop by and he had said yes. Maybe this way he could calm his mind a little. Damn Morgan Llewellyn and the effect she had on him. Probably she had that suffocating effect on everyone not just on him. The irony was that he had been in the company of that woman for a little more than an hour and apart from shouting at him she had not shown any other kind of emotional reaction towards him. Apart from mild anger. He heard soft knocks on the door and he immediately went to open. There was his girlfriend, Florence, with her usually kind face. He had met her through his friend Will, who thought she was a good change to Sebastian, who was used to date actresses. And Will had been right. Florence was very different from all of her past girlfriends and the polar opposite of Morgan Llewellyn. Florence was beautiful in her own way even though she didn't have Morgan's bombshell figure and that tall frame. Florence had sweet sky blue eyes while Morgan's could cut your soul in half with that electrifying purple-blue ones. To sum up, Florence was like a soft breeze while Morgan was a category 5 hurricane that caused havoc wherever she went. ''How are you?'' she looked at him with concern in her eyes. ''You look really bad. Is it about that thing you had for that new movie you were cast in last week? Did it go wrong?'' He threw himself on the large couch and Florence sat beside him. ''It's my co-star. She's not exactly a pleasure to work with. I got a little late and she rose hell.'' he didn't say that he hadn't got a 'little' late but a lot late. Florence felt bad for him. Not getting along with a cast mate was probably the nightmare of every actor. ''Is she a diva?'' That surprised Sebastian. Of all the faults Morgan had, she definitely wasn't a diva. At least that wasn't his first impression of her. ''No. She's just explosive and overreacts a lot. I don't like her.'' Florence totally believe that. Unlike Chace, she didn't know him that well to notice when he was lying to himself. ''Wait a second... isn't your co-star that purple-eyed woman? I swear I saw something on the Internet about her.'' ''Yeah, it's her. And Morgan doesn't have purple eyes. That's just a myth the media is spreading to hype her up.'' ''I read that she is the new the new face of Cartier and Chanel. Is that true?'' Florence found incredible that a woman who had spent so little time as a well known celebrity was getting so many important deals. ''Believe me, I didn't ask her. I was too busy being shouted at.'' Florence felt a bit of pity for Sebastian. That Morgan woman sounded awful. But she couldn't judge her when she didn't know a thing about her. Maybe she was anxious or she had a tight agenda and couldn't waste the minutes Sebastian had made her waste. Maybe he had really ruined her day. ''Sebastian, love, are you sure she didn't have any plans that you may have ruined by turning up late?'' Sebastian remembered what Michael had told him after the read through. ''Michael Fassbender said that thanks to me she had got late to an audition.'' Florence looked at him with alarm in her eyes. ''But I don't believe him. People like her don't have to go to auditions. She gets the roles offered. Do you think she knocked on Chanel's door and begged them to be the face of the brand? No, Chanel begged her to be.'' Florence looked at him with all the seriousness in the world. ''You don't know that. Remember she's in the beginning of her career. You were once in her place and you know how it feels.'' Florence had made Sebastian feel quite guilty. ''Why don't you call her and ask how did her audition go. And apologise to her.'' Sebastian laughed. ''Do you think Morgan gave me her number? Do you think I was brave enough to ask for it?'' Florence rolled her eyes. She didn't know if Morgan was really intimidating or Sebastian was overreacting. ''I'm sure someone else in the cast has her number.'' Sebastian knew that showing a little bit of interest for his co-star's career was the right thing to do. But he didn't want to. ''Okay'' he finally gave up. ''I'll call Michael.''

Morgan was laughing at something Joe Alwyn had said while drinking from her glass of champagne. She and Joe weren't the only ones there, of course. In that table of a trendy Tribeca restaurant were Emily, Michael and his wife, the wonderful Alicia Vikander. ''I really wanted to meet Sebastian'' said Alicia, after Joe had finished with his story. ''You'll do it soon, but today he's being punished by us.'' Michael was joking with that. As weird as it may seem, excluding Sebastian from a cast dinner hadn't been Morgan's idea at all (it hadn't even crossed her mind). It had been Michael's. But it was just for that night, until everyone forgot that incident of him getting an hour and forty five minutes late. They were not going to be mad at him forever, more or less on the contrary, they were all ready to forgive him. But on the next day. ''What did he do?'' she asked. ''Got late for almost two hours because he was in a date and ruined everyone's day, including Damien.'' Emily informed her. ''Well, that was rude.'' admitted Alicia. ''And Morgan was the only one who was brave enough to call him out'' added Joe. ''It was fantastic.'' Morgan, who had lost track of the conversation with the Sebastian Stan topic, was examining her reflection on the champagne glass, making sure that her intentionally untidy updo was in its place. She snapped out of it when Joe said her name. ''Did you do that?'' asked Alicia with her eyes wide open. ''Yeah, but I kind of regret it now'' those were her fangirl feelings coming back to her. ''I think I overreacted'' ''No way'' Alicia defended her. ''What he did was wrong and he deserved to be called out.'' ''And he was on a date. He knew he had to be professional with his cast mates and director but he blew it.'' said Michael, who apparently was still mad. ''I have the feeling that he lied to us.'' Morgan had thought about and reached that conclusion. ''Who knows...'' Michael was talking when his phone rant. ''Look, this is quite a coincidence... hello Sebastian...''' Everyone was in silence. The least thing they wanted was Sebastian to know that all of them were out in a cast dinner without him. That was cruel and Morgan felt really bad about it. Suddenly Michael covered the speaker of his phone. ''Long story short...'' he whispered to Morgan. ''...I told him you were late to an audition and that's why you were so mad at him. He's asking... if I knew what happened to that and if he really ruined your life.'' Morgan was surprised. Who knew he had that on him. ''You lying....'' Alicia reprimanded him. ''Tell him...'' her ego was telling her to take advantage of the situation and make him feel bad for a while, even though she knew he'd find out the truth sooner than later. It had been his fault after that. ''...it was too late'' No one noticed the little smile on her face.  She knew she was going to feel guilty about it later but at that moment she didn't care. Everyone felt silent again, listening to Michael give Sebastian some explanation about Morgan missing her audition. ''That was absolutely evil'' Alicia looked at his husband with disappointment. Morgan was already feeling guilty. Her usual self would just laugh at it but at that moment she was confused. She was starting to feel drained after all the strong emotions of the day. Everything had happened so fast that she hadn't had a lot of time to process. She had met the man she had been 'in love' with for years, who was now her co-star. And she had shouted at him like a crazy woman. And she had went from being a nobody stuck in Caernarfon to dine with Michael Fassbender, Alicia Vikander, Emily Blunt and Joe Alwyn in a span of two weeks. It was no surprise that her mental system was collapsing. And that was just the beginning. She still had to share many romantic scenes with Sebastian and thanks to all the gods that Damien hadn't thought of including a sex scene in there. ''Morgan? Are you okay?'' Alicia asked her with concern in her eyes. ''Yes. I was thinking that we should forgive him.'' ''Who?'' Joe asked. ''Sebastian. Yes, he got late but... he didn't killed anyone for that. And... we win nothing if there's bad blood among us. If we want everything to work out fine, we should be a team. And, for all I know he's a good guy that maybe he's going through a rough week.'' Morgan wanted to believe in that. In five years Sebastian seemed like the best guy ever, super sweet, dedicated and pure gold. It could be that his real life version was the opposite of what she believed him to be. Maybe his new girlfriend was a bad influence on him. Oh goodness, why she hadn't though of that yet. After all, she didn't know who the chick was. She could be a hot mess. Suddenly Morgan felt a rush of anger she hadn't felt in a long time. Thankfully Sebastian was going to spend more time with her on the next three months than with his girlfriend and Morgan swore that she was getting him back to normal, even if that was the last thing she did. ''What if that new girlfriend of his changed him?'' Morgan words were received with a wave of approval. ''Yeah, that's totally possible'' Emily said. ''I know people that were complete sweethearts and became assholes after getting a new partner.'' ''It happen to the best of people.'' Alicia nodded. ''Well, he's spending three months with us and after this he'd be the one he was before.'' Michael said and Morgan wanted to get up and hug him. ''I all for it'' Morgan hadn't been more sure of anything in her life. Well, maybe she had but that was not the point. ''Let's do this for him'' Joe laughed out loud. ''Oh my God! RIP to that unknown woman. She has a storm coming by the name of Morgan Llewellyn.'' everyone seemed to agree with him. ''And all of us, that have some common sense. This is teamwork after all, isn't it.'' Everyone nodded. ''And I wouldn't be surprised if he falls madly in love with Morgan in the process.'' said Alicia with a playful smile on her face. ''We can all see that you two make hell of a couple. You'd kick the Beckhams completely out of the picture.'' Morgan let a humble smile to be drawn on her face. She would have danced throughout Manhattan like a madwoman after Alicia's words. But she controlled herself to perfection and no one remotely suspected her real feelings. ''No, no, I don't want him as a husband.'' she also had a humble look in her eyes. ''As a colleague, I think he's really talented but those attitudes just gets him a bad rep. And he doesn't deserve that, let alone if it's someone else's bad influence on him.'' ''That's why we should help him. I hate to see good talent wasted.'' Morgan kept herself from smiling. ''Let's take a picture!'' said Michael holing his phone. Morgan straightened the front of her silky black ankle-length Chanel dress and placed herself in the middle of Emily and Alicia, smiling.

Sebastian had a spent a really boring night watching some unremarkable movie with Florence. It was better this way because he wasn't in the mood of talking. Suddenly his phone beeped. He knew exactly what it was because he may or may not have turned on the notifications of Morgan's Instagram post. He hurriedly opened it. There she was smiling, like she was having the time of her life, with the rest of his cast-mates. She didn't look like someone who had missed an important audition. Be damned Michael Fassbender's lying ass. He took a better look at Morgan, who was in the middle of Emily and Alicia Vikander (who wasn't even en their movie, to begin with). There seemed to be nothing but love and good vibes among them. He didn't know if he felt sad at being left out or angry about it. To hell, he was not going to apologize to Morgan, let her ego suffer a little bit more. ''Are you okay?'' Florence asked. The movie had ended and he hadn't even noticed. He was with his wide eyes fixed on the phone. ''Yes.'' he lied. He tucked his phone in his pocket and then turned the TV off. ''I think, I should go.'' a part of her wanted him to ask her to stay and spend the night with him. But that moment never came. ''Yeah, I think you should'' he said instead. ''I mean, don't take it wrong, my head is about to explode and knowing that tomorrow I have to see her again doesn't make things easier.'' Florence knew who 'her' was and she felt a soft pang of jealousy. Yes, she had been all for Sebastian apologising to Morgan but, what then? What if she forgave him and they became perfect friends? They'll have to act as lovers for three months and they wouldn't be the first actors to confuse the on screen feelings. Her relationship with Sebastian was still on its early stages and it wouldn't be too hard for someone like Morgan Llewellyn to shatter it to pieces with one glance of her impressive blue eyes. And she wasn't sure about Sebastian feelings for her. Yes, he liked her but that was probably everything. But if it was about love she was sure that Sebastian wasn't there yet. He wasn't in love with her and he won't be for a long time, let alone with someone like Morgan in the middle. Or maybe she was starting to get paranoid. But no matter what, Morgan had become a shadow lingering on her mind. And she hadn't even met her yet.

The next day Morgan and her assistant Lucas were in her Porsche happily singing while he recorded it and posted it to Morgan's Instagram stories. ''I HAD TO HAVE HIGH, HIGH HOPES FOR A LIVING, SHOOTING FOR THE STARS WHEN I COULDN'T MAKE A KILLING, DIDN'T HAVE A DIME BUT I ALWAYS HAD A VISION, ALWAYS HAD HIGH, HIGH HOPES'' Of course that Morgan had updated Lucas with everything that had been side in last night's dinner with the cast. She had to get that out of her chest and she knew that Taylor was not going to approve. Lucas, not only agreed with Morgan but also couldn't wait for the show to start. He was sure that Morgan and Sebastian were going to make their own movie outside from the movie their were supposed to do. ''Let's sing this part'' Lucas was turning on the camera. ''MAMA SAID DON'T GIVE UP, IT'S A LITTLE COMPLICATED, ALL TIED UP NO MORE LOVE AND I'D HATE TO SEE YOU WAITING, THEY SAY IT'S ALL BEEN DONE BUT THEY HAVEN'T SEEN THE BEST ON ME, SO I GOT ONE MORE RUN AND IT'S GONNA BE A SIGHT TO SEE'' Lucas posted the videos knowing that all her followers were going to enjoy seeing her singing Panic! At The Disco out loud. ''So, what do you have to do today?'' asked Lucas, with his iPad on his hands ready to take notes and plan the day. ''Rehearse some scenes with Sebastian that we'll film tomorrow. I'm not looking forward to it, believe me''. ''Weren't you going to forgive him?'' ''Yeah but it depends on whether he came back to his normal sweet self and not yesterday's idiot.'' Lucas didn't need much information to know why was that Morgan so on edge when it came to Sebastian Stan. ''Admit it, girl. You have a crush on him.'' Morgan eyes were wide open. ''Lucas!'' she tried to look outraged but it didn't work on Lucas. ''Well, maybe. I mean, not anymore but I used to be in love with him for five years. He was my celebrity crush.'' ''Oh my Gosh, Morgan! Did you have a Tumblr dedicated to him?'' ''Yes but...'' Morgan's cheeks were a little pink. ''...if you tell a living soul about this I'm turning you into jelly. It's really embarrassing.'' ''It is.'' Lucas admitted. ''Did you read dirty fiction about him?'' ''You're making me want to die.'' Morgan was really embarrassed of that. If was all fun and games when she was in Caernarfon, in the middle of nowhere  and he was somewhere being his famous shiny self. Now, not only they had met but also, they weren't in the best terms. She just wanted to forget of those times she had wasted by reading dirty fanfiction about him. ''You can make those a reality, you know'' he was with his eyebrows raised and a mocking expression. ''Lucas Williams!'' Amanda shouted. ''That is just... outrageous''. Lucas just laughed making sure of not shocking Morgan again if they didn't want to end up crashing the Porsche to a fence. When they got to the studio Morgan was still red because of what Lucas had said. But all this was over, wasn't it? Maybe she would have liked to have the sweet version of Sebastian Stan, the one she believed she knew, but as real life love interest, no thanks. Taylor had been right when she had said that earning the reputation of a homewrecker so early in her career was a potential disaster. Even if Sebastian and her girlfriend had been together for little more than a month, it was not Morgan's place to break this. It could totally ruin her career and not even Sebastian Stan was worthy of that. But then... if they broke up with zero involvement from Morgan... well that was another story. She just wanted to rid him of her bad influence, not steal him for herself. And it was a real unlucky coincidence that the first person she saw when she was parking her car was none other that Sebastian Stan himself. She mentally cursed. But she knew that sooner or later she was going to see him so let's get over this as soon as possible, apologise for screaming at him and make things right once and for all. Lucas started giggling. ''Control your emotions, Williams. This is not a circus... yet.'' ''Taylor told me to tell you...'' begged Lucas. ''...that please don't make things worse.'' ''I won't'' she was pretty confident about this. Sebastian seemed to be taking his time locking his car and Morgan just wanted to hurry up and get inside before he did. Yes, she was chickening out and she had no problem admitting it. It was better to avoid trouble and maybe it'll just fade. But when he saw Morgan almost running to get to the door Sebastian hurried up to catch her. Morgan was opening the door when he was just behind her. Lucas scurried away where he wasn't seen but he could hear everything. ''Llewellyn'' ''Stan'' By the way they spoke each other's names it was clear that none of them wanted to take the first step towards peace. Sebastian was still hurt about the cast dinner he hadn't been invited and the invented failed audition. Morgan's mood had turned when she saw his sour face. ''I heard about your audition. Luckily you didn't took it to hard, I saw you were pretty happy last night. But don't you worry, you'll get more chances. After all, everyone probably want to offer roles to the latest overnight success.'' Wait a second, what had he just called her? Overnight success? What was wrong with this guy? Apparently he was still mad for some reason but if he wanted war, he'd get war. Inside the studio, the rest of the cast and Lucas were listening to every single word, with stunned faces, waiting for Morgan to clap back. An that she did. ''Yeah, it's awesome to get my first lead role in a movie directed by an Oscar winner at just 25. It's a pity we can't say the same about everyone. What were you doing at that age? The Covenant?'' Back inside, the rest of them were looking at each other with astounded expressions. ''She killed him with that'' mumbled Lucas. ''Straight to the wound'' said Joe. ''Can't say he didn't deserve it. He called her 'overnight success'''. ''I thought we were rooting for peace?'' asked Emily. No one answered. It was obvious that between Morgan and Sebastian was not going to be peace any time soon. Sebastian was cursing inwardly. Damn Morgan, she was a tough contender. And she also knew about The Covenant, for god's sake. It was hard to recover from that burn. ''Yeah, you start with whatever you can get, as maybe you know or maybe not, who knows. What I know is that soon after The Covenant I was working for Marvel.'' for sure that Morgan couldn't compete with that. She may have got the lead role in a film but at least she was not getting the chance to play a superhero any time soon, and for god's sake, let's keep it that way. ''Probably you've heard about Marvel before even if you're not a part of it.'' Morgan knew where he was going and she had the comeback ready. ''Rubbing Marvel on her face'' mumbled Joe, who looked like he was watching a football match instead of his cast mates fighting. ''Weak. Morgan is going to get him again, just wait and see.'' ''C'mon,'' Morgan rolled her eyes. ''Even I in the monologue of Macbeth had more lines than you in The Winter Soldier movie. But...'' she batted her eyelashes in an exaggerated way. ''...everyone to their talents I suppose.'' With utmost elegance she turned around got away from him. ''I told you, I told you!'' Joe's face was a mixture of intimidation and admiration. ''She destroyed him.'' ''Where you listening?'' Morgan had opened the door and found all of them behind. ''This is so embarrassing, I'm so sorry. But I wanted peace, I swear. But apparently that's not what he wants. He hates me and I'm not going to stand there peacefully, I'm going to fight back'' She stopped talking when Sebastian got inside, looking grim as hell. No one really knew how the rest of the day went on without incidents. Let alone how Morgan and Sebastian managed to rehearse a whole scene to such extent of perfection that almost left Damien in tears. Maybe they were both proud and stubborn but they weren't unprofessional. They knew what was expected of them and that was what they delivered. ''I love them'' commented Christine, the casting director, to Damien. ''You knew what you were doing when you cast Sebastian instead of Tom or Timothee. He matches Morgan so well, they are fire.'' ''Yeah. It's a pity that they don't get along very well off screen'' well, that was an understatement. ''I thought they were similar but it seems they clash in everything.'' Christine looked at him with a 'Seriously?' expression. ''They are not just similar. They are the same person. Humble origins, dedicated, beautiful, hard working, professional, proud as hell, stubborn, passionate, sarcastic, classy, nice to everyone except to each other and there's probably more to discover.'' ''They make such a beautiful couple, with all that beauty.'' Damien looked at Morgan and Sebastian, who were rehearsing. ''Not only an on screen couple but off screen too. Imagine that.'' ''You just have to wait.'' Christine was pretty confident. ''One day they are going to put their pride down and realize what a team they make. They'd be unstoppable.'' ''I can't wait for that to happen'' confessed Damien, still looking at Morgan and Sebastian. They looked like lovers. ''Do you want to see the magic, Christine? Wait until I tell them to stop and see what happens'' Christine motioned to go ahead. ''You two can stop! You were awesome!'' The reaction was almost funny. They immediately jumped back into reality and stood as far apart as they could, not before shooting a glance of dislike to each other. ''Okay, tomorrow is the last day you'll have to rehearse one of the most intense scenes'' both of them looked alarmed. ''Don't worry! I won't make you kiss, yet. I know you two are not on the best terms, which about that, I highly recommend you get over it for your own sakes.'' Morgan mumbled a not so subtle 'thank god' that Sebastian didn't miss. Finally, Damien let them go, which they did without even glancing at each other.

''He's a... TROLL!'' yelled Morgan, once she was back at her apartment. Taylor was sitting on the couch, eating marshmellows, watching Morgan pace up and down and yelling. ''Overnight success? If someone here is an overnight success that's HIM. He's only relevant because some teenagers on the Internet lust over him.'' Morgan had forgotten to mention that she had been one of those people that had helped to boost Sebastian Stan's career on the Internet. And had also lusted over him. ''Morgan, c'mon. You called him untalented and we both know that he's not. And he knows you're not an overnight success.'' ''He's a idiot'' Morgan was a hundred times convinces that what she was saying was true. ''You didn't think he was an idiot last month when you were captioning pictures of him with the words 'Please choke me daddy'''. Morgan looked mortified to the extreme. ''I just want to throw myself out of the goddamned window.'' instead she threw herself on the couch, face down. She knew that what Taylor had just said was true and there was no excuses. ''Don't do it'' Taylor recommended her. ''We're just on the third floor. You won't die, you probably just break a leg.'' Morgan just groaned something that Taylor couldn't understand ''You know what's the worst part?'' she suddenly asked. ''That we were awesome together.'' that wasn't what Taylor imagined that Morgan was going to say. ''I've never felt this good working with someone before. He's really good. And he managed to bring the best of me... and the worst at the same time.'' Taylor didn't know what to say so she decided to change the topic. She stood up from the couch and grabbed a box that it was sent to Morgan that evening. ''They sent you this from Chanel and I've never been so jealous of something in my life before.'' Morgan took from the heavily decorated box five lipsticks, all of them decorated with an elegant M in gold. ''These are a exclusive shade of red made specially for you. No one else in the world has it. They called it the Morgan, so imagine.'' Morgan had loved them so much that it made her forget the mess with Sebastian. ''Don't tell me the fragance is exclusive.'' she pulled a luxurious bottle with the same elegant M. ''Because if it is, they read my mind. I love it.'' ''Yeah, it is made just for you'' Taylor was already resigned to the idea that all these brands were feeding Morgan's ego. ''I love my life.''

''She's a snake.'' Sebastian was pacing up and down his apartment. It was his friend Will the chosen one to listen to his whining. ''She's the living embodiment of a cobra. I don't know what I'm going to do to survive for  three months around that venomous woman.'' Will wanted to say that she couldn't be that bad but he didn't know Morgan Llewellyn and she could perfectly be as bad as Sebastian said she was. ''I've heard a lot about her but never even saw a picture of her.'' Sebastian wanted to tell Will how lucky he was. Life without Morgan was a peaceful life. In two days she had irrupted into his life and messed it up. ''She's on Instagram. Just look her up. In three weeks she has more followers than me.'' Will typed something on his phone and immediately his expression changed to one of amazement. ''Is that her?'' for a second he believed that he was on someone else's Instagram page. But Sebastian nodded. ''Oh my god. She looks more like a Victoria's Secret Angel than an actress. She has legs for days.'' Sebastian didn't like at all that Will had found Morgan pretty. ''She's more beautiful in person, even when she was calling me untalented. She's as tall as me without heels.'' he realised that he was complimented Morgan instead of bashing her. But facts were facts. ''It's weird because I've never had a co-star that's so insufferable. Not Chris, not Margot, not Nicole, not Denise, well, no one before. Morgan is at the bottom of the list. Ironically, she's probably the most talented of them all.'' ''What?'' the least thing that Will could imagine was that Sebastian was going to call Morgan talented. And let alone, more talented than Nicole freaking Kidman. But Sebastian was nodding. ''I don't know where she was all this time and why she hadn't had a big role before because she's really good. Future Oscar winner kind of good. Personality wise, she's my least favourite co-star I've ever had and she earned  that title in two days which is a record. But talent wise... she's the best person I've ever worked with, without any doubt. She blew me away. And that was with just the rehearsal of an scene.'' ''This is insane.'' mumbled Will. ''Maybe.'' Sebastian was sure that Morgan will drive him insane. He heard his phone beep. It was a notification from Morgan's Instagram. ''Why does she get free stuff from Chanel and I still have to pay for everything?''

On the last day of rehearsing things between Morgan and Sebastian got even worse, if that was possible. They weren't on speaking terms and they carried on for the whole day without saying a word that wasn't on the script. But suddenly they snapped for something stupid and five seconds later they were shouting at each other with Damien and the rest of the cast as the audience. The only one who looked surprised by the situation was Joe. The rest were sort of enjoying the show. ''EVERYTHING ALWAYS HAS TO BE THE WAY YOU WANT IT. WHY? BECAUSE YOU'RE BLOODY SEBASTIAN STAN, WHO WAS IN BLOODY MARVEL? NO ONE CARES!'' she shouted at him. ''SNAP OUT OF IT PRINCESS! IF SOMEONE HERE WANTS TO GET EVERYTHING THEIR WAY, THAT'S YOU, LLEWELLYN!'' The weird thing was that no one really knew why they were fighting this time. ''IT'S NOT THE WAY I WANT IT, GET IT INTO YOUR HARD HEAD, STAN! IT'S THE WAY THE SCRIPT IS WRITTEN! BUT I GUESS YOU KNOW BETTER THAN DAMIEN NOW!'' ''Aren't we going to stop them?'' asked a nervous Joe. ''Let them vent out'' Damien was resigned to it. ''This was going to happen sooner or later, we all saw it coming.'' ''MAYBE NO BETTER THAN DAMIEN BUT I KNOW BETTER THAN YOU! I HAVE FORTY ACTING CREDITS LLEWELLYN!'' Morgan laughed. ''AND  IN HALF OF THEM YOU WERE LITTLE MORE THAN AN EXTRA, YOU DON'T HAVE MUCH TO BRAG! DON'T THROW YOUR 'CREDITS' AT MY FACE BECAUSE IT'S NOT GOING TO WORK!'' ''YOU DON'T HAVE EXPERIENCE IN THIS BUSSINESS!'' ''BUT I GOT THE LEAD ROLE, DOLL! AND I WAS CAST FIRST SO IF SOMEONE'S OPINION COUNTS HERE, THAT IS MINE! IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, YOU CAN LEAVE AND WE'D GET YOUR REPLACEMENT IN FIVE MINUTES!'' then she turned around dramatically. ''Someone can please get me Timothee Chalamet!'' Then she left the set being an absolute fury. ''GUESS WHAT, PRINCESS!'' he shouted before Morgan left. ''I'M NOT LEAVING. I'M STAYING. SO YOU BETTER DEAL WITH IT!'' ''TROLL!'' she shouted from the outside. ''SNAKE!'' he shouted back. A bit embarrassed, he glanced at his director and cast mates. All of them looked only sightly amused, except Joe. ''Sorry for that. But life would be much better with Saorise Ronan as the lead. '' ''Saorise is extremely talented but my lead is Morgan.'' Sebastian knew beforehand that Damien was always going to defend Morgan. ''Just go and relax for a bit. We start filming tomorrow so you'd better get your head clear.'' Sebastian left thinking that Damien was asking for a miracle. There was no way to keep his head clear. He was so on edge that at this moment he'd have preferred to film The Covenant all over again. Yes, that movie sucked and The American Dream will probably get several Oscars but in The Covenant he had Toby and Chase while here he was stuck with Morgan Llewellyn. Back in the set, Joe was still quite shocked. ''Kid, someday is going to be you the one screaming to someone else. It happens to everybody at some point.'' Michael told him. ''Did it happen to you?'' Joe couldn't imagine Michael screaming to anyone. ''Yes. In the set of The Light Between Oceans there was a woman who shouted at me the same way Morgan shouted Sebastian. She's now my wife. So, it may be a happy ending to the pitiful beginning of Morgan's and Sebastian's story.'' ''So'' apparently Damien was changing the topic very quickly. ''Who wants to see the Knicks against the Nets tomorrow at Madison Square Garden? Because I got tickets to the cast. It may be a nice treat after the first day of filming.'' Everyone agreed. Going to Madison Square Garden was always a nice experience. ''And what about Morgan and Sebastian?'' asked Emily. Everyone knew why she was asking that. No one was very excited with the idea of both of them shooting each other killer glances through the whole match. For sure, they'll kill the mood. ''Don't worry about them. They'll be okay, sooner or later, you'll see. Maybe they'll never be friends but they'll have to learn to be civil around each other. Okay, you're done for today, see you tomorrow.'' The three of them left, talking about Sebastian and Morgan. ''Yes, the fight was fun for a day but it has to stop'' Damien was thinking out loud. ''I'm sorry for this. I truly am. Pete...'' he called his assistant. ''Call their agents.''

P.D Okay, hell broke loose. Imagine whoever the hell you want as Florence because I don’t have anyone in my mind to fit that role.

Morgan throughout the episode:

Sebastian and Morgan during the episode:

(They are Slytherin and Gryffindor of course)

[collateralfiction]

00

Bailey

Out of all Sunday services, I have never seen so many faces; familiar and some not, show up… out of support for such a tragedy in the community. Even when it was a wedding or someone being baptized, it was nothing compared to how much people came to show their faces and condolences today; July 28. Those that weren’t even as religious as they should be, showed their faces and arrived in their cleanest of Sunday clothes, ready to show their support and love. It took a loss in the community for everyone to realize how things will never be the same. It took a loss in the community to gather everyone together for once. It took a loss in the community for many to realize everyone’s life was limited.

Why weren’t we warned about this two weeks ago?

Two weeks ago, everything seemedabsolutely perfect. New York’s weather was great for once, I was able to see my father, my mothers’ Day Care was ranked number one in New York State, along with her budding interior design company. Ryan finally had his brother back after he relocated from Georgia to New York. Things were running smoothly and most importantly, the violence and corruption was at a bare minimum, for once. Of course, in this world not everyone was able to coexist but I did wonder what worldwide peace would look like. It seemed childish to even think about but it was a legit goal. I guess people would have to be high for that to happen. But then again, people still manage to do outrageous stuff when under the influence.

Fast forward two weeks later, nothing seemed to be falling into place like it once did a few weeks back. The sun was no longer shinning and creating a warm weather we all grew accustomed to, everyone seemed tense and unrealistic, and it was seldom you wouldn’t see anyone outside. Now? No one wanted to be outside like they used to, and it was all due to an unfortunate turn of events. People were too shaken up to function, let alone do a simple task of grocery shopping at the local supermarket. It was complete and utter chaos.

A slew of Riley and Ryan’s family sat in the front few pews, stoic as ever. I know this must have been rough on them but I was surprised that none of them were weeping as hard as I had been prior to the occasion and even the days leading to it. I wondered if this was just a casualty of the game. Were they expecting it? No, but did it happen? Yes and they would be stupid to ignore the small hints along the way.

I didn’t have any blood connection to Riley but I always looked at him as my older brother and someone I could easily run to for whatever, regardless of the distance. A year in New York and I had not the slightest clue it would result in this; no one was expecting it. Not him, at least. A surge of emotions started to skyrocket through my body as my legs continued to tremble. I’ve never been to a funeral, surprisingly, and being at one now caused a plethora of emotions to fly from inside. Knowing that if I possibly shed a single tear, I wouldn’t stop, I tried not to.

Crying really does nothing for the body anyhow. My tears aren’t going to bring Riley back so why exhaust myself to the point of sickness?

I stared at my lap and toyed with my royal blue colored acrylic nails. The service hadn’t started yet and we were just waiting on Riley and Ryan’s mother to come along. I haven’t seen Ms. Chalmers in quite a while and ever since Riley had been gunned down, the same day as his birthday might I add, she’s been different. The relationship I used to have with her, I have no longer. The idea of one of her sons’ being gunned down really brought her to her breaking point. She remained to herself and most recently, it seems she severed her relationship with her only remaining child, Ryan. Although he might deny the fact that it doesn’t bother him, I know it does and it’s a sad thing to see.

Ryan and his mother weren’t as close as Riley and their mother, but it was better than nothing. They still communicated very often unlike now.

“Are you okay?” I mumbled, connecting Ryan and I’s hand together. He was relatively quiet for the most part, only speaking when spoken to. We arrived an hour before the service was set to begin because of how antsy Ryan had become. We were one of the first to arrive and we’d probably be the last to leave. The dynamic relationship between his brother and him were one for the books. There was once a time when neither of them enjoyed the other’s company and I hypothesized it was because they have different fathers and their living situations while growing up was much different as well. However, things changed as they grew and had begun to appreciate one another like they should have before. Too bad it was too late for them to develop that bond they severely needed.

“I’m good,” he said, his chocolate eyes focused ahead. I leaned my head against his shoulder and sighed. Ryan’s very good at suppressing his emotions and it’s not intentional either. When you’re put into certain situations you have no control over, your emotions are the last thing that could possibly interfere. With this moment here, behind closed doors, he let everything out; I know he has. But in front of hundreds of civilians, he wouldn’t. I watched as he looked down at his gold Patek watch and mumbled something inaudible about the time or something concerning his mother. I kept my eyes planted on the door, awaiting for his mother’s arrival. My mind began to wonder and conjure up the idea of her not showing. I mean, I wouldn’t fault her but I know Ryan would make a big fuss out of it.

“She’s here,” I said, admiring her natural beauty. Ms. Chalmers was a beautiful Trinidadian lady with natural curls that surrounded her round face. She had light hazel eyes that were almond shape. She had a slight accent but spoke fluent English. I know her to be strict at times but she was very affectionate and loving as well. I just couldn’t understand nor fathom the sudden change. Ryan turned his head to look at his mother and for a second, I saw the sadness clearly in his eyes but he simply shrugged it off and turned to look away. Ms. Chalmers was stopped numerous times towards her seat and all eyes were placed on her; except for her son. “Are you going to greet her?”

“No,” he mumbled. “I’m here to pay respect to my brother. My mother and I have nothing to talk about whatsoever,” he stated sternly, clenching his jaw. It seems like when he loses someone he was close with, he loses someone else at the same time. I don’t want him to experience that again. That would tear him apart.

“Don’t be like that,” I whispered, making eye contact with his mother. She stared at me for a total of five seconds before giving me a small smile. I know she noticed that Ryan was beside me, but she didn’t even bother to acknowledge him causing me to frown. Sucking his teeth, he dropped my hands from his hold and crossed them over his chest. Rolling my eyes at his unnecessary attitude, I just decided to focus on what was happening before me. Memories of that fatal night flooded my mind miserably once the funeral began.

The cool nighttime air of New York was without a doubt beautiful tonight. So beautiful, only a pair of ripped jeans, an Indiana Pacer jersey and a pair of black Toms rested comfortably on my body. It had just struck midnight and Ryan and I decided to visit Riley and surprise him with the first of the many Happy Birthdays’ he would receive over the day. He was turning twenty-three and being that I get overly excited about the idea of a birthday or something similarly close to it, I wanted his day to be amazing from start to finish. This was the first birthday I would be sharing with him and it was a birthday that I wanted to be memorable for him. The only proper way that would be able to happen is if I carried a bottle of his favorite liquor and some new clothes. Two of his favorite things in the world. I live only a mere ten blocks from the brownstone he resided in and with Ryan insisting on taking his car, we reached the house in no time. As a gift for graduating College early, his paternal grandfather allowed him to reside in the house he grew up in as a child.

To my surprise, when we reached the brownstone Riley was already standing outside, a blunt in hand. Upon noticing our arrival, his smile widened as he jogged down the few steps and stood before me. “Happy birthday, Riley!” I smiled, extending my arms out wide for a hug.

His deep baritone voice invaded my ears as he chucked before responding. “Thank you, ma. I appreciate it, I do,” he said, welcoming me in a tight embrace, my feet coming off the ground a bit. Riley was a little bit taller than Ryan, but they shared a lot of characteristics together such as their thick hair, smooth chocolate skin and sense of style. I’m surprised they aren’t twins with the way they tend to act. Pulling away from me, he looked down at the blunt in his hand and then at me. “I should put this out, right?” he questioned with a chuckle.

“I don’t want to be the reason for you to not enjoy your day so do as you please. I should be fine,” I told him, stepping back some.

“Good looks,” he nodded. “What’s good with you and this Pacers jersey though?” he commented.

“It’s just for looks,” I chuckled. “You know I support Miami,” Slightly.

“That’s what I thought,” he said, taking a quick pull of the neatly rolled blunt. His eyes looked past me and landed on his brother. “What’s up, Ryan?” he questioned, pulling him into a brotherly hug and dap.

“Shit. We out here for you, bro,” he chuckled. “Happy pussy day, nigga. Stay trill for the day,” I rolled my eyes accordingly to their conversation and moved to take a seat on the steps. Their conversation continued for a total of fifteen minutes as they pretty much summed up their night and what’s been going on lately. Their conversation was cut short by a black Jeep pulling up and the door opening with great ease. Out walked a few of Riley’s friend, coming along with more Liquor in their hands and bags of food. I wouldn’t be surprised if they had ample the amount of weed hidden somewhere in those bags. From the logo on one of the bags, I easily noted that the food came from the seafood spot not too far away from here.

Great choice.

As the group embraced each other with loud talking, I distracted myself with my iPhone, wanting to make sure that my sister was alright and according to her, she was. I only had one sibling and that was my eighteen-year old sister, who I cared for as if she was mine. I would go insane if something were to happen to her due to what the men in our lives do.

“You want some food, Bailey?” Riley questioned, causing me look away from my phone. “There’s more than enough for everyone,” he said, passing off the blunt for Ryan to finish.

“Sure,” I declared. “I can’t stay long though,”

“No problem,” he smiled. “I can’t send my sister home without something to fill her up though,” he said, draping his arm around my shoulder. I turned around slightly and went to question what Ryan was doing, seeing that he was on his phone, feverishly talking to someone after Riley gave him the blunt to finish. However, with Riley almost dragging me inside his lavish house, I didn’t have time to question him on what he was doing. Riley’s brownstone was nothing short of magnificent. I trailed behind everyone as they led the way towards the living room, setting everything up. Riley had the Stereo on, playing the latest rap music. The T.V. was on and GTA V was on, ready to be played by anybody. I would have to call dibs before someone else did. With the addition of food, liquor, weed and friends, this could have been considered a small get together or party if you will.

I took a seat at the table, along with the two other girls that emerged from the Jeep. Food was placed in front of us and since I hadn’t had anything to eat for the day, the Shrimp and Fish, along with a side order of French Fries would have to do. It wasn’t until thirty minutes later that Ryan finally made his appearance besides me, reaching to take a sip of the drink I had been babysitting. His hand rested on the thigh furthest from him as I sat back against his arm and leaned into him. “Who were you talking to?” I questioned, smelling the odor of weed on him.

“No one, baby,” he mumbled. “No one important at least,”

“No,” I said. “That person must have been extremely important if the conversation lasted thirty minutes,” I gritted, not trying to easily display my distaste in him lying to me.

“Well, it’s nothing to worry ‘bout so don’t stress it,” he said sternly. I sighed wearily, knowing that Ryan was extremely stubborn and nothing would be solved until he admits it on his own time. However, not everything is on his time. For as long as I’ve known Ryan, all through Middle School and High School, he’s always been very hardheaded. It’s his way or no way at all. You’re either on his side or you’re against him. You either work with him or leave him alone. Everything must be done on his accord and I must be that one exception, depending on the situation.

Sighing roughly, I stood from my seat and went to go find Riley. I had to go home soon, and I wanted to say my farewells to him before I see him later on today. There were a couple of things I had planned and he was included in all of it. I checked in his room, but he wasn’t there, he wasn’t in the living room and wasn’t in the kitchen. My best guess would have to be outside, seeing as that his doorbell would constantly ring. Pulling the door back, I looked outside and noticed how quiet the neighborhood was, but I didn’t see any signs of Riley. However, I didn’t go back inside because I noticed his favorite Supreme hat siting on one of the steps. I continued down the stairs, in reach to get it. I damn near jumped out of my skin after hearing an electrifying sound, resembling one of a fire cracker. Fourth of July was a week ago and people were still doing them?

Shaking my head, I snatched the hat off the ground and looked up in time to catch a black van, tinted heavily, speed down the road quickly as if cops were behind them. Funny thing is, none were behind them. “What the fuck? That’s the number one way to cause an accident,” I grumbled.

“B-B-Bailey…” My voice got caught in my throat as I halted and look to the left of me. Through the dim lightening, my eyes had to be playing cruel tricks on me. I dropped the Supreme hat that was once in my grasp and briskly walked towards Riley. My hands came in contact with the side of his stomach. “Call Ryan,” he choked out.

Tears I’ve been trying to suppress lately, easily spilled from my eyes and I hadn’t even noticed Ryan trying to console me to stop. I’ve never lost anyone as close as I was to Riley so this hit close to home. I can recall the many conversations I would hold with him and he was so wise and smart for someone so young. He was going to be great one day but no one would be able to see that and neither would he. “Calm down with the tears now. No more tears,” Ryan mumbled, pulling me in closer to his body, kissing my forehead. The service was devastating and every now and then, you could easily hear the weeping of many. The only one who looked like they refused to cry was Ms. Chalmers; she was being strong about this. It was obvious that she favored Riley more than Ryan but at this point, she was numb to everything that was occurring. The last thing she expected was for her son to be murdered the day of his birthday.

The service continued for at least another hour and by then, people were able to approach the casket – the open casket - and say their farewells. I clung to Ryan as he weaved through the crowd, heading towards the exit. “You’re not going to…”

“No,” he said, cutting me off. “I’m not saying goodbye to my brother like that. He’s still here with me,” he snapped.

“Okay,” I said, sighing.  “What does this mean now?”

“Don’t worry ‘bout it. I’ll figure it out,” he said shortly, looking for someone over my head. I turned, trying to scout out who he was looking for but coming up fruitless. I frowned and turned to look at him. His jaw was clenched, and his fist were balled tightly, exposing his veins.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, my turn to now console him.

“Niggas are so disrespectful,” he spat, my eyebrows furrowing together. He pushed me to the side gently and began storming off. Due to the church attendees’ emerging from the church, it blocked my vision of him; essentially, losing him to the crowd. What niggas were he referring to? I felt so lost and drained. My mind was spinning with a million and one thoughts, all breaking me down mentally. A part of me didn’t find the courage to wake up this morning and attend this service because of the effects that it would come with. But I knew I had to, I just didn’t know what would possibly entail from this point on.

[whitewolfofwinterfell]

Please spill tea on Rachel/Joey as a romantic ship since I know you're with me on being one of the few who still ships Ross/Rachel!

This is a very strange ask for me to receive, since I’ve spoken about my like for Joey and Rachel as a romantic pairing in the past, even above Ross and Rachel (you may not have seen it because I tend to just rant in the tags of my posts haha, but you can see some of the things I’ve said in my Rachel/Joey tag here). Having said that, it is a topic that I go back and forth with because I see the positives of both ships and I like both for different reasons. However, this may go in a different direction than you expected since I do really like Joey and Rachel, so beware that this does contain some anti-Rosschel content, and it’s pretty long (sorry, I have a lot of thoughts on this).

On paper, Rachel and Joey are the perfect couple and I love their relationship on the show so much. They had such a respectful, loving and endearing friendship that was so beautiful. Even as I’m trying to sit here and think of the negative side to Rachel and Joey’s relationship, I can’t. It was so open, warm, trusting and sweet. Joey falling in love with Rachel is one of my favourite arcs on the entire show, because it’s so realistic and emotional. We’ve all had that moment at some point in our lives where we have a close friend who we’ve only ever thought of platonically but then something happens and we see them differently, whether it’s just for that one moment or whether it develops into something more like it did for Joey. I’ve never really seen it discussed before, but all of the characters on Friends developed over the seasons, except Joey. Who Joey is in season 1 is practically exactly who he is in season 10. Falling in love with Rachel is the only time we actually got to see a change in Joey. It was the first time he’d ever been in love so it was incredibly difficult for him to navigate those intense feelings anyway, but it was a million times harder because he was also dealing with the confusion and guilt of that person being Rachel who was pregnant with Ross’ child. How Joey handled himself throughout the situation was so beautiful to watch and made me fall in love with his character in an entirely new way. Here’s this guy who’s specifically known for being a womaniser and an immature bachelor, but he was mature, selfless and fair throughout the entire thing.

Joey falling in love with Rachel made perfect sense. He lived with her and was incredibly close to her, they got each other and had fun, and you could just perfectly see and understand why he would love her. In comparison to Ross, whose love for Rachel was just there from the beginning and mainly based on an infatuation he’d had since he was a child, Joey’s feelings for Rachel were incredibly complex. When Joey’s feelings for Rachel seemed to pass, I thought that was the end of it and then BAM, Rachel had her dream and suddenly she had feelings for Joey. This was the point at which I knew something had to happen, because two friends don’t both just develop feelings for each other out of nowhere, that has to mean something. Watching Rachel’s feelings for Joey develop wasn’t nearly as enjoyable as watching Joey’s (but that’s mainly because whenever Rachel has the slightest interest in someone she immediately becomes annoying to me), but again, it made sense to me. She was close to Joey, he was always there for her, she knew he had romantic feelings for her recently and hey, he’s an attractive dude!

The perfect basis was already in place for an amazing romance to develop between the two – they’d been best friends for 8 years, lived together for two(?) years, they had an attraction and a special bond - yet when it finally happened it just didn’t work. Every time I rewatch the show (and that’s a lot) I ask myself the same question about Joey and Rachel and that’s – why!? Why didn’t it work? Because it doesn’t make sense to me, but of course, that can be summed up in one word: Ross.

Ross and Rachel are that couple, aren’t they? They’re so iconic, everyone worldwide knows them and from the very beginning they just sucked everyone in. Nowadays I see people growing tired of the will-they-won’t-they trope because it’s so overdone, but when Friends was first airing, it reeled people in hook line and sinker. What really sells Ross and Rachel as a couple is Jennifer and David’s chemistry but also that intense passionate love that Ross and Rachel have. The problem is, that beyond this I do struggle to see what makes sense about Ross and Rachel. This is where you may want to stop reading if you’re a huge Ross/Rachel fan because it’s going to get a quite anti-Rosschel.

It starts off as a very one-sided relationship that is built upon Ross’ crush on Rachel that goes back to high school and by the time they do finally admit their feelings and get together, there’s just a series of endless arguments and break-ups which suggest it’s not a very healthy or happy relationship. From Ross’ perspective, in particular, I think his perception of Rachel and his relationship with her was incredibly distorted. All of their issues in season 3 are because of Ross’ insecurities, because he spent his high school years pining for a girl that was “out of his league”, once he was with her he was constantly afraid he would lose her and that led to possessive behaviour. What always sticks in my mind is the conversation they have about Rachel working too much and Ross expresses that he feels she has this entirely different life that he’s not a part of, and Rachel explains that she’s glad about that because she wants to have something in her life that is separate from him. She says that she’s scared but she’s happy because she’s out there in the world doing something for herself and she asks if he’s okay with that, which he replies yes, but then over her shoulder when they hug he says he’s not. Because Friends is a sitcom, comedy is injected into that scene, but it’s actually not very funny at all. What about what Rachel said is even slightly unreasonable? In most relationship’s an individual’s work is the only part of their life that is not intertwined with their partner and is the place where they can channel their passions and energies. Ross had his career at the museum which was clearly very important to him yet Rachel couldn’t have hers because that made him insecure. What’s even worse is when you think back to the list he made about Rachel, under the cons he listed “Just a waitress” as one of her cons, yet when she decided to break out of the coffee house and launch a career, he didn’t like it. So what did he want from her? Rachel always felt very much like an achievement to Ross rather than a person, particularly in the early seasons. I don’t necessarily want to pit the two relationships against each other but when you compare how well Joey knew Rachel and his opinion of her in comparison to Ross, there’s no comparison. Ross was in love with the idea of Rachel (I think as the seasons progressed he did fall in love with who she was more so), but it still didn’t feel like he really knew her and loved her for her. Proof of that can be seen by his negative reaction when she started to change and become her own person and establish a life for herself.

Having said that, there was an inexplicable pull between Ross and Rachel that brought them back together time and time again. They finally admitted their feelings to each other and got together in season 2, only to split up the same day because of the list Ross made, then they got back together later in the season after the prom video, then they took a break in season 3 (by this point they’d been in a relationship for total of 11 episodes), got back together in the next episode and broke up soon after when Rachel found out Ross slept with Chloe.10 episodes later, in season 4, they got back together at the beach house only to split up the next day because of the whole ‘we were on a break’ argument. Nothing much happened with them after that and they seemed to be moving on, until Ross met Emily and Rachel realised she still has feelings for him and went to England to stop the wedding but Ross said her name at the altar, so that ended in tears hah. Throughout season 5 Ross fights for his marriage and is insistent he loves Emily, whilst Rachel continues to pine for him. By the time we get to season 6, this is where they’ve both seemingly moved on from one another and then lo and behold, they get married in Vegas! After this Ross realises he has feelings for Rachel AGAIN, which seems to soon pass. In season 7, it seems like they’re moving on again until they wind up kissing after Monica and Chandler get engaged. Season 8 is of course the season where Rachel falls pregnant with Emma and from that point until the middle of season 9 when they’re living together and raising Emma, their relationship seems headed in the romantic direction once again. Then they decide their arrangement isn’t working so Rachel moves out and back in with Joey, and they go back to their own lives. That brings us to the end whereby they finally come to realise they want to be with each other in the finale. Wow, that’s one hell of a long and complicated relationship, right? But it perfectly displays the on-off nature of Rachel and Ross’ relationship and shows that even when they were supposedly over each other or moving on, they very quickly found each other again. What I never got about all of this is why it happened. I understand it up until around season 4, but past that I don’t. Why did Ross say Rachel’s name at his wedding? I don’t care what anyone says, at that time he was not in love with Rachel. He agreed to stop seeing Rachel to make his marriage with Emily work, for crying out loud. Also, why did Rachel continue to love a man that had made an immature pros and cons list about her when they first got together, was possessive and jealous when she got a job, fell into bed with the first woman he clapped eyes on when she told him they were on a break (I mean, who does that!?) and refused to accept responsibility for his actions or act with even the tiniest shred of maturity when presented with the chance of getting back together with her? What is it about this man are we supposed to believe makes him a man that Rachel is in love with? It doesn’t make sense. Neither does the fact that they randomly kiss and have sex for no reason what so ever other than the fact that they have before. When they have sex and Rachel gets pregnant with Emma, that literally happens because they’re both there and it’s easy because they’ve been together before and they know they’re in a place where emotionally they’re not attached, so they can treat it as a casual one-night stand.

But, back to Joey and Rachel, because that’s technically what this ask is supposed to be about rather than Ross and Rachel. I think in comparison to Ross and Rachel, whose relationship was incredibly rocky and problematic, Joey and Rachel had a much better build-up, a richer relationship and a more complex connection. The problem with Joey and Rachel is that the audience were already too invested in Ross and Rachel, for a Joey/Rachel romance to last long-term and the writers couldn’t fully let go of Ross and Rachel, no matter what they did. I’m not sure what the intentions with Rachel and Joey were or if the writers even intended for them to be the real deal and stay together, or if it was supposed to be brief like it was, but it certainly felt like they never fully committed to it. 

Again, what bothers me about this is that Rachel and Joey splitting up didn’t really make sense and neither did Ross’ reaction. Of course Ross was going to react strongly to finding out about them, but it really didn’t make sense to have Ross react the way he did unless he still had feelings for Rachel and/or was in love with her, which we were told he didn’t and there seemed to be no indication of anything to the contrary until that point. No matter how long your history is with someone or whether they’re the mother of your child, the fact was that Rachel was his ex, Ross had a girlfriend (Charlie) and as Ross himself pointed out, he and Rachel hadn’t been a couple in 6 years. So it didn’t really make sense for Ross to react that way. He and Rachel were exes, so what? They’d both moved on, Ross with Charlie, and Joey and Rachel deserved a shot. What also didn’t make sense is the way in which Rachel and Joey split up, since the issue they came upon again was completely fixable. A lot of people when transitioning from friends to romantic partners experience initial awkwardness. When Ross and Rachel first tried to have sex, Rachel couldn’t stop laughing, but they persevered because they knew they wanted to be together and it should’ve been the same for Joey and Rachel. They were clearly attracted to each other physically and they wanted to be together, so once they’d pushed through that barrier once, they would’ve been fine. The only reason they split up at that point is because the writers knew they couldn’t make it work after having invested so much time in Ross and Rachel. I really think if the writers and audience weren’t so fixated on Ross and Rachel, Joey and Rachel could’ve gone all the way. I also think if it had been a real life situation and not a show, Joey and Rachel would’ve lasted. There was absolutely no reason they wouldn’t last because they were incredibly compatible. Their relationship ended before it even began, I mean, they really didn’t even give it a chance at all and immediately afterwards it was completely swept under the rug as though it never happened. That’s something that will always bug me and is just proof that the writers wanted to try and erase Joey and Rachel because they wanted Ross and Rachel to be endgame. But the fact remains if they knew they wanted a Ross and Rachel endgame (which they clearly knew very early on) why did they decide to go down the Joey/Rachel route? It didn’t really make sense in that context. 

One thing I will say is that despite the seemingly anti-Rosschel sentiment of this, Ross and Rachel’s romantic chemistry always felt stronger than Joey and Rachel’s, and their relationship always felt much more natural. However, I put that down to the actors. I think because Jennifer and David were portraying a romantic relationship from rather early on, they fell into a natural rhythm but Jennifer and Matt were such good friends on and off-screen, that when they had to make that transition to a couple, it didn’t quite click. And I’m pretty sure even Matt and Jennifer themselves protested against them being a couple, claiming it was too weird because they were brother and sister, so clearly their hearts weren’t really in playing that relationship and I think that shows in their performances. So, it’s strange because in terms of writing, I’m all for Joey and Rachel, but in terms of the chemistry and the feeling of the couple, I’m all for Ross and Rachel. I also think that despite the problematic elements of Ross and Rachel’s relationship I mentioned above, they changed and developed and by the time they got back together in season 10 I think they were much more suited and ready for a proper relationship. A big part of the issue with their relationship in the early seasons is that Ross was in a completely different place to Rachel. Even in season 1 Ross is very together - he has an established career as a palaeontologist, he earns a decent wage, he has his own apartment in the city, he’s been married - but Rachel, in comparison, is just starting out in life. In season 1 she completely uproots herself and leaps into a world she’s never been part of, so by the time she and Ross get together she’s still adjusting to that huge change. She hasn’t built a life for herself yet and she hasn’t found what she enjoys or what her path is in life, but Ross is already sure in himself and that’s why Rachel freaks out when he starts talking about having kids and moving to Scarsdale. At that point, Rachel isn’t ready for any of that, she’s still trying to deal with having a part-time job at Central Perk and trying to decide where she goes from there. But by season 10 she’s established herself in an amazing career, she’s a mother and she’s grown so much and she’s finally right there with Ross and ready for all of that. As for Ross, by season 10 he’s realised that Rachel loves him and has chosen him so his insecurities shouldn’t be so much of a problem. So where Ross and Rachel start and where they end up is two vastly different places, and although I don’t like the way the journey was written, they earned that ending.

In comparison, Joey and Rachel just can’t compete with that. As sweet and well-developed as they were, they can’t compete with that magnetic pull between Rachel and Ross that continued for 10 years. Ross and Rachel had simply been built up too much for too long for Rachel and Joey to be able to swoop in at such a late point in the series and be endgame. Perhaps if certain things were different and Rachel hadn’t of had Emma, Rachel and Joey could’ve worked, but Ross and Rachel were too entwined to ever separate and I think if they’d ended up with other people and Rachel had ended up with Joey, somewhere deep down inside they would have always felt a sense of regret and “what if?” and I definitely think that would’ve cast a shadow on Rachel and Joey’s relationship if they’d stayed together.

To conclude this big muddle of a response, I really like Joey and Rachel together and see a lot of potential with them as a couple, but their romantic chemistry was lacking and dare I say it, even felt awkward at times, and they simply couldn’t get to the same place as Ross and Rachel. Ross and Rachel were written as being the love of each other’s lives and despite the messiness their relationship, I strongly believe their fate was sealed in TOW Prom Video and there was no coming back from that. 

[aggresivelyfriendly]

Option C- When in Doubt

I’m not really sure who to blame for this, @harriestyles514, anons, still @the-well-rested-one, my rich fantasy life.... Anyway, always good to keep your options open.

In the month that has passed since I last saw (sucked off) Harry Styles, I haven't thought about him. Nope, not at all, not in the shower, not in my bed late at night or early in the morning, and definitely not in bathroom stalls at the label I work at. Never have I ever had to bite my lip to keep quiet while someone has walked into said bathroom while I had my hand down my so trendy I could barf mom jeans.

It's been a long thirty days.

When my infinitely cooler bestie convinces me we should go to the party we are walking into she does not mention his name. I told her, in detail so explicit she said it stressed her out, how it went down the other night, and I think that is why she made the decision to be a devious little B.

It's as we are walking into another giant house, this one with no suit beclad attorney, that she not so casually lets slip, "I heard Styles is supposed to be here tonight."

I stop dead and turn, figurative tail stuck between my trembling legs. Her hands wrap around my waist and she forcibly drags me back from the threshold. I was so close, I could smell the lantanas, and even those rancid little flower globs smelled as sweet as freedom. "What are you doing Elle, don't you wanna see him?"

"No!" I quickly interrupt whatever diatribe she was about to give me about running away from any situation where I'm not sure of victory.

"Ellie-bellie, you totally want to see him: I can tell by all the little mental vacations you've been taking to his bedroom."

"I never saw his bedroom." I remind.

"Fine, his countertop, whatever, it's a rumor anyway. He's kinda a flake I heard."

That makes sense, I exhale and hope, but I'm not sure which I'm wishing for:his presence or absence.

When he walks in two hours later and I'm two, ok four, drinks deep, I realize it was the former.

He looks really good, a little ridiculous in his Gucci shirt. They often make ugly things .Hehas a knack for the whole being more attractive than the sum of its parts. Just look at his face, his body, the parts are good, maybe slightly above average, but the total is devastating.

Before I can stop myself, avert my gaze, he catches me. His eyes widen, then narrow as a smile overtakes his faces. Holy dimples, Batman. My breath has already shallowed and I take my eyes off of him so violently that I jerk my head. I'm sure I looked like a marionette on strings. I vow to myself that I'm not going to let my eyes wander to the side of the room that I know he is on, but they do. He's watching me when I break my word and he smirks this time. It does funny things to my insides. He nods his head to the side, raising his eyebrows. The silent question is posed and I have to decide whether to actually talk to the man who I've had so many exchanges with in my head, many non verbal, or really tuck that tail up my ass and run. It's at this point that Lanie, who's no longer my favorite person, nudges me. Great, she's watched this exchange.

"Go, talk to him."

I kick my feet at the ground, turning my toes in like a  tantrumming toddler, "I don't want to talk to him."

"Ffft, whatever. You keep staring at him, someone would notice if they weren't all doing it too. The difference is that he is looking at you as well. It's your duty to tap that booty and report back to us pleabs!"

"Stahhhp, he's a person! He may not even be interested in me like that again"

She interrupts before I can go further down the well of that line of thought. "Remember how you chose to give him head, but you wound up laid out in his kitchen anyway?" She must have tried a new eyebrow thing, they look different today, I think while I watch them dance on her forehead. Stop dissociating.

"Yes...."

"Also, he's been tracking you all night. He just tried to catch your eye, again, look up." Against my better judgement, I do it, and his eyes look like jade when mine slide to them. He motions again, and I find myself in his tractor beam. I think maybe he is Borg. Nah, he's too nice. Head in the game El, I watch him turn down a corridor and follow. I get pulled by big hands I've tried to forget into a room. I yelp, but bite my lip to stop the sound from being too loud. My face is at his shoulder and his face is in my neck. It's way more intimate them our assignation warrants. Like we were lovers, not a hook up.

"Hiiiii," he breathes into my ear. He sounds happy. I pull back and know it's a mistake. I let my hands drop, so they won't wander, but he does not. Harry grasps my waist, thumbs tracing the tops is my hip bones and tips of his fingers meeting at my sacrum.

There is not enough oxygen in here.

The breathy hi that slips from my mouth would be inaudible if we were not close enough to share air.

"What's up?" I croak and know that he'd see the bloom in my cheeks he'd teased me bout if the lighting was better. He's smirking kindly and I know that he can feel my nerves. Between that and the arousal I'm basically vibrating.

"Not much, M ready to get out of here. Want to come with me?"

I'm always completely surprised by his directness, how not smooth he is. No finesse at all. He doesn't need it, with the charm and the dimple and the face. I guess we met at a sex party, it's not like I'm gonna be his girl. Oh, but if I was his girl....

"Yeah....I think I'd like  an actual tour of your house. The kitchen was beautiful, by the way, I may have chosen a different countertop," my tongue is firmly in my cheek and he guffaws. It's somewhere between a snort and a sneeze and it makes me laugh too.

He shakes with laughter and then shakes his head to clear it. His fingers are still caressing the small of my back and I'm proud that I'm not a puddle on the floor. My panties, poor things, are not so fortunate as the floor.

"Next time I buy a house I'll send you pictures for approval," he brows quirk, "let's see how you like my bed, hm?"

I nod and he explains the plan. He puts his address, which I've remembered, into my uber app and tells me to head out in 20 minutes. They are the longest of my life and the two nails I'm currently biting are getting shorter by the second, his backs gonna look like he hooked up with a sloth.

Raphael arrives to drive me and receives a 5 star because he tells me a wild story about the last time he picked up at this house, effectively saving my other nails from their compatriots fate.  I'm nervous walking up, my knuckles white after I've rung the bell, holding my own hands. The nerves quiet a bit when he answers the door.

"C'mere," he murmurs and pulls me in. I figure that's word go, but instead, he clasps me close in another octopus hug and kisses my forehead. It's sweet, endearing, and confusing. "Want a glass of wine?"

My face must be made of glass because he chuckles.

"Clearly wasn't much of a gentlemen last time," he's taken my hands apart and dragged me to the kitchen. My face is hot as I look at the counter and he follows my gaze before pulling me into him. His hand finds my hip, the other my hair. "Elle? Are you going to talk tonight cuz..."

"You remember my name?"

I'm not sure what my face looks like, but he his forehead is scrunched and mouth agape. "Of course I remember your name, Jesus, what do you take me for?"

At this I finally chuckle and raise a brow delicately. When he giggles I wiggle my brows around and he sniffles and lays his head against mine.

"Um, if the offer still stands, I'll take that glass," I hear myself say and I'm sad when he detaches. He takes off his blazer as he goes though, and throws it on the counter top, where I lay. I hum the song I'm reminded of under my breath. I see his head shake. "What?"

"Hate to disappoint love, but I don't have a brass bed."

The red wine is warm through the goblet he hands me. I put it on the counter instead of to my lips. "Prove it?"

I must be a comedian, he's laughing again, but he's pulling me passed a living room with minimal furniture, but maximum art, and up stairs.

The bed isn't brass. It's king size, with a padded headboard, footboard too. My head thanks him, but I'm sad there is no place to attach ties. Not that we are going there tonight, or ever.

Harry's pressed up against me and his trousers do less than his jeans did for his modesty. His fingers have found the buttons on my top. I had left it mostly undone, a hint of bra but not so much as to offend my own modesty. Two buttons, three, and his hand, which covered most of my stomach to secure me to the counter when I writhed, is in the lacy cup of my bra. His mouth has found my neck. The tips of his tongue and teeth make indents on the column of skin before him, and I laze my head to the side before I pull my heavy right hand up. It feels like I'm swimming through water, but I'm glad I'm not, cuz the zing when my hand finds his skin would mean electrocution. I tickle under the blade of his jaw and tilt down to catch his busy lips with my own.

The callouses on his fingers are welcome against my nipples and I tell him so.

"Yeah?" He smiles and pushes me forward. I catch myself on my left hand, he's kept my right, pulling my blouse off. He pulls my left arm back without releasing my right, and I'm perched in an agreeable position if his hum of approval is anything. He grips both hands in one of his massive paws and reaches around to undo my bottoms. His fingers slip down to my nub after he's undone them, and he slides my slippery clit between the webbing of his pointer and middle finger. "Can you feel the callouses still?" He says as the rough tips of those fingers massage the muscles around my entrance. I'm squirming and nodding. Yes slips over my lips and seems to have a few extra s's.

He pulls me up then and releases my hands. I'm still bound however. His free hand has snaked across my middle, back into my bra and he's still strumming a tune on my quim. I feel his smile, a true cheshire grin, against my neck. Harry has nudged my hair aside and begins his affections for that piece of anatomy anew. His fingers have not quit and I'm trapped, ensnared between those crisscrossed arms of his. Since I cannot wriggle, though I feel as trapped as a fish on a hook, I'm more vocal than I can ever remember being. Words tumble, praises bubble, and my syntax is undone.

I'm undone, and we've barely begun. I squeeze down on the fingers my body is desperately trying to draw in and his name echoes off the walls of his room. When I'm aware again, the little pecks on my cheek juxtapose the wet fingers entering my mouth. I suck them clean to a chorus of "good girl." And he's on his knees pulling down my pants.

I'm naked, and he's fully clothed, again. I'm not sure how I get myself into these positions.

The position he seems to want me in is below him. My companion reverses my position and gives me one kiss, the first to my mouth this evening, at least in our new venue, and pushes me down. I reach to pull Harry upon me. I think of all my sense memories from last time, the saddest I'm to have missed is his weight on top of mine. But, he stays upright and pulls his shirt over head. I'm excited I may see him naked, and the moonlight washes his skin white so his tattoos look like a puppet show against a blank wall. I watch the siren swim to the ship and have a moments fear for the sailors aboard. The illusion is shattered when he bends and the canvas flexes as he quits his pants.

He juts out from his stomach and runs a hand over himself, once, twice. I miss the feel, the taste of love, against my lips and move to sit up. I'm pushed back to parallel. All his laughter is gone, and the look in his eye renews the clench his fingers just effected. I rub my thighs together.

"Elle, open your legs," his voice is husky and my limbs obey without my mind's control. They seem to have a new master. My knees meet the mattress as far from each other as possible and I wonder what picture he sees against my blank skin.

Harry runs his fingers up between my labia before bringing them to his lips. He watches me watch him lick them between those lips. I think they have been foremost in my mind. What I see when I touch myself. I'm transparent.

"Did you think about me?" He comes down on top of me and I hope the white wash of the lighting hides my blush. I'm wrong, I know, when he smiles and smooths his wet fingers over my cheek. I nod, he smiles. It's so sweet, except his long body is naked against my own, and I can feel him softly rutting against my upper thigh. His lips find their way between mine, and his tongue meets my own.

When my hips lift against his own, he moves on to my neck, down over my collarbones, leaving a nick to remember him by. My nipples are pushed together and share the cavern of his mouth. I assume he intends to continue his journey south, but I'm beyond four and have moved onto five play.

"No, no,no," I murmur and he looks up, slightly stricken.

"Do you want me to stop?"

"No, please, c'mere, inside me," I get all the words out and he understands.

"Just a minute," and he's off me, I don't like it, but I hear a drawer open and shut, looking up to see him rolling a skin on. One stroke, two. "Put me in," He says, and once again my body listens.

I line him up, and lift my hips. It's been some time and though the fluted head slips in, the flared lip of his tip, recently exposed, provides resistance. I whine. "Shhh, take it easy," He guides and pushes passed my ring of muscle an  inch. The audible pop is echoed by our matching exhales. He slides in another inch and pulls out. I'm full and on the edge of discomfort, I breathe. Focus on that in and out instead until his hips meet mine after he's worked his way in. Once there, he catches my eye. "Ok?"

"Yeah," I want to ask him to move, the pressure of his presence inside me, against my cervix, requires relief. Instead I flex.

"Ughhh, careful Elle," he warns, but pulls back a bit while continuing his break.

"Are you counting to ten?" I joke now that I'm able.

"European capitals, actually" he explains.

We both chuckle and the clench must be welcome this time, because he pulls my knees off their place on the mattress and wraps them around his hips and flexes his ass. It pushes him deep again and I mewl. That line between pleasure and pain I've been flirting with had become an infatuation as he moves into me over and over. My thighs grip him and i lift myself to wave my hips onto his dick. When that's not enough, I sit and he picks me up. My feet plant on his thick quadriceps and I rise and fall along his length until he catches my hips and shakes his head. He pulls me off and I'm face down on the bed while he pulls my hips back. His tongue circles my hood, and his fingers find their way in, I'm rocking back onto both until I make a sound I've never even made in a solo session. It's good, but brief. I hum my content and pull myself to the head of the bed.

His own impending orgasm postponed, and mine accomplished, he fits himself behind me, pushing my top thigh up until my knee meets my shoulder and we both watch as he wets the head of his cock with saliva and fits himself back in where I'm soaking. His name comes out again while I watch him take me, and he pulls my face back to kiss me while the strokes are calm and sure.

The kissing stops and he secures my knee over his shoulder and his hand to my pelvis to keep me in place. I feel like I need to brace myself based on the look in his eyes as he kisses my forehead.

"Ready? Harder?"He asks

I nod again, and am thankful that he has braced me and that the head board is padded when he pushes in rougher. The power and speed increase until I'm gasping and he's groaning "oh my God!"

It's brutal and beautiful and I'm crying out. He buries his face in my neck and groans, pulsing into the condom between us.

By the time I catch my breath, I realize how sweaty I am, how achy I am. This ride home is going to reek and tomorrow I have no idea how I'll explain the marks, or the limp. I hope Harry is not asleep, as he is still inside me, though that situation should remedy itself, but safe sex rules require some action.

"Harry," I nudge, "Harry," kissing his equally sweaty forehead, "The condom."

At this point I'm wrapped into strong arms, "Sleep," He murmurs and I swear he's already out.

I wriggle out from under him effectively limiting my risk as it unjoins us. "Nope."

He groans and gets up like a 100 year old man to make his way to the bathroom. I follow him in and slide into the enclosed toilet. We dance around each other at the door a few minutes later, until he basically picks me up and sets me out of his way, "Move, woman."

I start to slip on my clothes, and he catches me. "What're you doing?" He's rubbing his eyes like a little boy. Cute, fucker.

"Um, gonna call an uber. Thanks?"

"Thanks?" He looks more awake now, "Are you thanking me for a fuck?"

"Yes?"

"That a question?"

"No." I'm laughing, this is the most awkward, ever.

"Look," He sits on the bed where I've just completed pulling up my pants. "The way I see it you have three options-" He ticks them off on his fingers, "Option-A you can call that uber and we leave this at two perfect nights. Option-B you take a shower," he leans over and dramatically sniffs me,  "You need it, look and smell freshly fucked," I slap his face lightly, "And sneak out later. Option -C, you shower, with me, give me a cuddle, and in the morning we talk. I have a proposition for you.."

"Another one?" I interrupt.

"Rude!" He claps his hand over my giggling mouth. "Now as I was saying, When in doubt, always pick C."

[multipleservicelisting]

Underselling the Vaccine

Want to get The Morning by email? Here’s the sign-up.

Good morning. We explain why the vaccine news is better than you may think.

Early in the pandemic, many health experts — in the U.S. and around the world — decided that the public could not be trusted to hear the truth about masks. Instead, the experts spread a misleading message, discouraging the use of masks.

Their motivation was mostly good. It sprung from a concern that people would rush to buy high-grade medical masks, leaving too few for doctors and nurses. The experts were also unsure how much ordinary masks would help.

But the message was still a mistake.

It confused people. (If masks weren’t effective, why did doctors and nurses need them?) It delayed the widespread use of masks (even though there was good reason to believe they could help). And it damaged the credibility of public health experts.

“When people feel as though they may not be getting the full truth from the authorities, snake-oil sellers and price gougers have an easier time,” the sociologist Zeynep Tufekci wrote early last year.

Now a version of the mask story is repeating itself — this time involving the vaccines. Once again, the experts don’t seem to trust the public to hear the full truth.

This issue is important and complex enough that I’m going to make today’s newsletter a bit longer than usual. If you still have questions, don’t hesitate to email me at themorning@nytimes.com.

‘Ridiculously encouraging’

Right now, public discussion of the vaccines is full of warnings about their limitations: They’re not 100 percent effective. Even vaccinated people may be able to spread the virus. And people shouldn’t change their behavior once they get their shots.

These warnings have a basis in truth, just as it’s true that masks are imperfect. But the sum total of the warnings is misleading, as I heard from multiple doctors and epidemiologists last week.

“It’s driving me a little bit crazy,” Dr. Ashish Jha, dean of the Brown School of Public Health, told me.

“We’re underselling the vaccine,” Dr. Aaron Richterman, an infectious-disease specialist at the University of Pennsylvania, said.

“It’s going to save your life — that’s where the emphasis has to be right now,” Dr. Peter Hotez of the Baylor College of Medicine said.

The Moderna and Pfizer vaccines are “essentially 100 percent effective against serious disease,” Dr. Paul Offit, the director of the Vaccine Education Center at Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia, said. “It’s ridiculously encouraging.”

The details

Here’s my best attempt at summarizing what we know:

The Moderna and Pfizer vaccines — the only two approved in the U.S. — are among the best vaccines ever created, with effectiveness rates of about 95 percent after two doses. That’s on par with the vaccines for chickenpox and measles. And a vaccine doesn’t even need to be so effective to reduce cases sharply and crush a pandemic.

If anything, the 95 percent number understates the effectiveness, because it counts anyone who came down with a mild case of Covid-19 as a failure. But turning Covid into a typical flu — as the vaccines evidently did for most of the remaining 5 percent — is actually a success. Of the 32,000 people who received the Moderna or Pfizer vaccine in a research trial, do you want to guess how many contracted a severe Covid case? One.

Although no rigorous study has yet analyzed whether vaccinated people can spread the virus, it would be surprising if they did. “If there is an example of a vaccine in widespread clinical use that has this selective effect — prevents disease but not infection — I can’t think of one!” Dr. Paul Sax of Harvard has written in The New England Journal of Medicine. (And, no, exclamation points are not common in medical journals.) On Twitter, Dr. Monica Gandhi of the University of California, San Francisco, argued: “Please be assured that YOU ARE SAFE after vaccine from what matters — disease and spreading.”

The risks for vaccinated people are still not zero, because almost nothing in the real world is zero risk. A tiny percentage of people may have allergic reactions. And I’ll be eager to see what the studies on post-vaccination spread eventually show. But the evidence so far suggests that the vaccines are akin to a cure.

Offit told me we should be greeting them with the same enthusiasm that greeted the polio vaccine: “It should be this rallying cry.”

The costs of negativity

Why are many experts conveying a more negative message?

Again, their motivations are mostly good. As academic researchers, they are instinctively cautious, prone to emphasizing any uncertainty. Many may also be nervous that vaccinated people will stop wearing masks and social distancing, which in turn could cause unvaccinated people to stop as well. If that happens, deaths would soar even higher.

But the best way to persuade people to behave safely usually involves telling them the truth. “Not being completely open because you want to achieve some sort of behavioral public health goal — people will see through that eventually,” Richterman said. The current approach also feeds anti-vaccine skepticism and conspiracy theories.

After asking Richterman and others what a better public message might sound like, I was left thinking about something like this:

We should immediately be more aggressive about mask-wearing and social distancing because of the new virus variants. We should vaccinate people as rapidly as possible — which will require approving other Covid vaccines when the data justifies it.

People who have received both of their vaccine shots, and have waited until they take effect, will be able to do things that unvaccinated people cannot — like having meals together and hugging their grandchildren. But until the pandemic is defeated, all Americans should wear masks in public, help unvaccinated people stay safe and contribute to a shared national project of saving every possible life.

THE LATEST NEWS

The Transition

President-elect Joe Biden picked two Obama-era regulators to oversee key financial agencies: Gary Gensler to lead the Securities and Exchange Commission, and Rohit Chopra as the head of the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau.

Here’s Biden’s response to aides who use overly academic or elitist language: “Pick up your phone, call your mother, read her what you just told me,” he likes to say. “If she understands, we can keep talking.”

President Trump’s allies have collected tens of thousands of dollars from people seeking pardons.

Capitol Riot Fallout

From Opinion: Today is Martin Luther King’s Birthday. In a video Op-Ed, Martin Luther King III remembers his father’s economic message.

Media Equation: Fox settled a lawsuit over its lies about a murdered young man, but the network insisted that the settlement had to stay secret until after the 2020 election.

Lives Lived: Phil Spector was a pioneering producer who shaped the sound of pop music in the 1960s but who spent the end of his life in prison after murdering Lana Clarkson at his home in 2003. He has died, from complications from Covid-19, at 81.

Why sea shanties are suddenly viral

On TikTok in December, Nathan Evans, a 26-year-old Scottish postal worker and musician, shared a black-and-white video of himself singing a sea shanty — a traditional sailor’s work song — called “Soon May the Wellerman Come.” In the ensuing weeks, Sea Shanty TikTok was born.

Professional musicians, people driving in cars and even a Kermit the Frog puppet shared videos of themselves singing along. There were electro remixes. Some people began covering other songs, like “All Star” by Smash Mouth, in a sea-shanty style.

While the genre may seem like a strange one to go viral, the songs are relatively easy to learn. They also lend themselves well to collaboration, which TikTok’s functions encourage. An original goal of the sea shanty was to foster community, as sailors worked long hours aboard a ship.

“They are unifying, survivalist songs, designed to transform a huge group of people into one collective body, all working together to keep the ship afloat,” Kathryn VanArendonk writes in Vulture. And they’re especially fitting for a time when people are desperate for connection.

PLAY, WATCH, EAT

What to Cook

Spanakopita, the classic Greek spinach and feta pie, inspired this baked pasta.

What to Watch

“MLK/FBI,” directed by Sam Pollard, draws on long-secret documents to chronicle the F.B.I.’s harassment of the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

What to Listen to

Hear new tracks from Flo Milli, Lana Del Rey and more — including a song that holds the single-day streaming record on Spotify.

    Multiple Service Listing for Business Owners | Tools to Grow Your Local Business

www.MultipleServiceListing.com 

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[starkillerscience]

Just a few very quick TLJ notes in relation to my fics:

(Yes, there will be major spoilers for TLJ.)

First off, thank God I’m not able to write fic any more and that I hadn’t decided to wait until this film to continue my Starkiller Science fic following the plot of this most recent film, because it would have been IMPOSSIBLE.  No matter how much I’ve thought about it through the night and into this morning, there is no possible way that I could have included the reader character (Christina Xavier; which is what I will call her for the rest of this post) and still kept the same plot of The Last Jedi.  Second, Kylo Ren had amazing character development for the first 3/4 of the movie and then reverted back to his childish characteristics and just totally destroyed a proper redemption/grey Jedi arc that I had planned.

Like, none of Kylo’s actions would have been possible if he had known that Christina was on board the same ships as Leia.  It would have been too damn much for him.  He already didn’t want to fight because his mum was on board, but having his lover with a Force Bond on board, too?  No.  He wouldn’t have been able to fight, and he wouldn’t have allowed Hux to fire on the ships.  He would have sabotaged something so that the Resistance could get away.

On top of that, I don’t know how I would have incorporated the already existing Force Bond into the bond that Snoke created between Rey and Kylo.  Unless it was a weird three way call the whole time, and I wouldn’t have been able to take myself seriously.

Last, the odds of Christina surviving with the Resistance would have been nill considering that all of like 40 people survived the movie.  I told my friend in the theatre with me that after Laura Dern’s character fucking OBLITERATED Snoke’s ship, and after Hux killed off most of the Resistance, there would have only been enough people on either side to have like a bar brawl or something. idk.

So sticking to TLJ plot for a fic would not have worked, and I’m glad that I had fully developed a plot way ahead of time of how I would want the story to continue if Christina and Talia were there to influence the actions of Kylo and Hux.

My original sequel ideas had the First Order crumble apart under Hux’s leadership, leaving him and Kylo both more or less abandoned by Snoke who then used the Knights of Ren to continue on with a newly formed First Order under Captain Phasma’s command.  The basic plot structure was that Christina would briefly spend time with the Resistance to form a plan for her return to the First Order as a spy.  In that position, she would join Amena as a nurses aide to help with the mass casualties of the First Order, all the while gathering intel on the First Order to send back to Jessika Pava and Poe Dameron.

Meanwhile, Rey would train under Luke, Finn would go and join Rey when she and Luke return, and they would start forming a plan to take down Snoke.  All the while, Kylo would be on the run from the First Order after having largely disappointed Snoke.  Kylo would eventually sneak into the Resistance to beg forgiveness from his mother and try to make things a little bit more right.  During this time Hux and some First Order defectors would also be in hiding, biding their time, though Talia searches for them, finds Hux, and kills him.  Off the top of my head, I can’t remember how she manages to get here because some plot points are fuzzy after 20 months of not writing this fic.

Christina would eventually be found out as a spy and be held in prison on Snoke’s planet, basically being used as a pawn to get Kylo to come back to Snoke.  So Kylo teams up with Rey, Finn, and Luke with the intent of killing Snoke, which they would do in an epic showdown.  This would allow Leia and Luke to restore order to the galaxy, Rey and Finn and Poe could go off and have their beautiful perfect ot3, and Kylo and Christina could just gtfo away from both the First Order and Resistance to start their own lives in a way they most see fit.

The fic would have ended with Leia and Luke going on a trip to visit Kylo and Christina on the planet where they have made a home.  They walk up to the house, giving hugs, so happy to see one another.  And at the very end, Christina hands Leia a little bundle to hold: the newest member of the Skywalker family.

It was going to be dramatic and end cute as all hell.  But my PhD has taken over my entire life, and I also don’t have the motivation to write this, even if I had the time.  So instead, I am going to copy and paste all of my notes below about the sequel.  They are convoluted.  Entire plot points are missing that would have needed to be filled in as I developed the story.  There are run on sentences for days and my own commentary, but I think it pretty much sums up the ideas I had.  Enjoy.

Welcome to the five pages of notes that I took.  Also, if you were wondering what it looks like when I develop a story and am designing it, welcome to that process:

starkiller science sequel: Crescent Base Captives

 (why kylo cut the Bond: On one side, he honestly believes that he’s going to die, and he wanted to shut her out so that she wouldn’t feel his death through the Bond, because that would be so detrimental that it could kill her.  On the other side of things, he figures that if he does survive, he’s going to be facing Snoke and more training, and he doesn’t want her to slip into the Dark side of the Force along with him.  So by blocking the Bond to the fullest of his abilities, he sees it as the only way to truly protect her.)

 christina is trying so hard to adjust to not having contact with kylo and being with the resistance.  She's promisted leia that she will bring her son back, but she has no idea how to actually go about this.  She's a scientist—not a warrior, not a diplomat.  But at the same time, she knows that she has allies.  She is still in contact with Talia to a limited capacity, though Phasma and Amena are harder to reach, and christina isn't sure if she /wants/ to reach them because they're so close to the first order.  Talia doesn't know what to do with herself. She wants to find Hux and bring him closer to her.  She can't let him go, even though she knows that he doesn't love her how she loves him. And with her collection of brains gone and research gone and everything else, she feels like she has been left with nothing.  The first order doesnt need her.  They have bigger fish to fry.  So she leaves and heads back to the academic planet, where she had also studied ten years before you.  She becomes an assistant in a university morgue, where she can teach brain anatomy and dissection to medical students.  She isn't really happy there, but it's something.  She still gets to play with brains, and she's safe.  But she longs for hux.  Longs for things to go back to the way that they were before.

 Christina is trying really hard to get closer to finn and poe and rey.  She sees them as being the only hope of getting kylo back.  She trusts finn fully, but he is slightly wary of her. He knows that she's a good person, but he can't forgive kylo for what he has done, and it's difficult for him to just forgive you supporting him.  But at the same time, he sees you as weak, as scared, and as willing to set things right as him and rey.  So he puts aside his anger at kylo and meets with you in private.  The two of you are on d'qar, sitting in the forest, and he vows that he'll still be your guardian angel.  And you break down crying beside him that you would receive such kindness once again when you least deserved it.

 From there, leia starts to draft a plan.  She and christina go through ideas with finn and poe about what o do with you, but there isn't much they can think of.  You aren't a warrior, aren't a politician. And leia ends up coming up with the idea of you spying and rejoining as a doctor.  It seems like the best idea out there, even though it's really morally conflicting.  Leia decides for you to undergo a bootcamp with some of the newer recruits, so the next two months are spent training physically.  It's a time to work on basic combat, building muscle, just generally getting some skills that she may need later.  She learns how to properly fire her blaster, how to fight hand to hand. She doubts that she will use most of the training, but there's something satisfying to seeing her arms become more muscular and body work better.  She had never worked out before this because she had spent so much time sitting and doing academic work.  “I got a brain work out” she tells Poe, and he laughs at her one night, because he remembers hearing stories from Jessika about her brainy roommate.  Jessika nd Poe and Finn are basically in charge of training Christina when she's not at the bootcamp during the days, and Rey is meanwhile training with Luke.  Sometimes, Christina swears that she can hear Rey's thoughts, but she wonders if she's imagining it just like the bits and pieces she's getting through the Bond from Kylo.

 SHE BECOMES A FUCKING SPY FOR THE RESISTANCE AND IS SENT BACK TO THE FIRST ORDER TO WORK UNDER AMENA.  She calls talia, and it turns out that talia is on her own teaching and generally hating herself.  But she gives her amena's comm and christina calls amena and basically begs for some position in the first order and to come back.  Amena doesn't know that christina will be a spy but thinks that she just wants back with her friends and people she knows or whatever.  Amena is like 'I don't know hwere to put you' and christina convinces her to take her back as an aide.  And so amena obliges but can't guarantee a pay at all.  

 Christina goes back to crescent base and meets with amena's younger cousin, Beatriz, who is also working as an aide.  Beatriz was a former Storm Trooper, but Amena pulled strings to get her into the medical centre since Beatriz was a field medic.  She has the skills and is safer there with Amena.  Beatriz starts to take Christina under her wing to teach her how to do the medical stuff.  Christina catches on quick since she had done some of this stuff during her schooling (like giving immunisations and doing assessments is fucking easy; she can do that. But learning how to give proper stitches and stuff becomes necessary.  And she learns how to use the equipment in the medical centre).

 Meanwhile, christina only feels bits and pieces from Kylo. He's on such a far away part of the galaxy that it's hard to feel much of a connection.  She only gets these fluttering emotions, and she knows that he's hiding from her.  Probably due to snoke.  Snoke gave ren the ultimatum to kill her or han, but he would prefer for them to both be dead so that kylo can delve even further into the darkness.  Especially when considering that killing han didn't work for the plans.  Snoke realises now that he shouldnl't have given ren the choice.  Kylo knows this, and he hates the fact that he's supposed to kill christina.  He sends her emotions every now and then when he thinks he can get past snoke, but it's so minimal that christina starts to wonder if she is imagining the Bond.  

 Kylo has been at the citadel for a couple of weeks, slowly healing.  The tendons of his right shoulder are completely fucked up, and he has limited motion.  He undergoes two different surgeries, leaving his shoulder completely covered in scars and a few screws and electronic tendons now wrapping through the muscle and joint.  It hurts when it rains, hurts to hold his lightsabre, but he works through it anyway. He thinks briefly about whether you feel the same pain (which you do on occasion, but you don't realise that it's when it's raining near kylo; you feel particularly blue and sad on these days. You tell amena that it feels like you have days where everything is raining on you.) and also thinks about how Amena is no doubt trying to recover from the blaster wounds—that is, if she made it out alive.  He hasn't heard a single word from Phasma to know.  Kylo has been kept purposefully in the dark because of snoke.  At first, it's because he is healing, but even after that, kylo understands that he's being trapped.  Snoke doesn't trust him, and he's right not to trust kylo, because kylo is being drawn to the light the longer that he is there.

             “Last time, I made the mistake of giving you an ultimatum,” Snoke sighed. “It was foolish.  I hadn't understood the full extent of your relationship with that woman.  If I had known it was more than lust, more than your desire to fulfil a possessive nature, then I would have forced you to kill her along with your father.  But this time, I will not make that same mistake. This time, you will be given an ultimatum that forces you to act in accordance with my will.”

           Ren swallowed the lump in his throat, already aware of what Snoke was about to ask.

           “This time, you may choose, but it is between her life and your own.  Choose wisely.”

 Though Hux has been in contact with Phasma, trying to get her to take a lot of the reigns of the first order.  She has been made a general, which is awesome, but she's stressed and upset that hux is hardly leaving the citadel.  He meets with her after four weeks, and she's boiling mad. She wants him to stay on the crescent base and finalizer with her and the troopers, but hux wants to keep an eye on kylo as well as get further training from snoke.  Hux sees the starkiller base's destruction as a major blow to his standing, and he fears that snoke will have kylo kill him or will simply eliminate him himself, so he's trying to suck up to snoke, I suppose. Phasma calls him out on this.  He tries to ignore that she is correct.

 At some point, hux falls out of favour with the first order entirely and is kicked out.  He kills the people who try to kill him under snoke's orders, but he knows that it's only a matter of time before he's captured by either the resistance or the first order and killed.  There is absolutely no one he can go to, and his credits have been reposessed by the first order.

 At some point, the first order asks christina to then be a spy on the resistance and like, she's then a double agent and everything is getting really shitty, and she can't keep it up, and one of her transmissions to jessika and leia gets intercepted, and phasma realises just what kind of position christina is in, and she shoves her up against a wall and is like 'DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'VE DONE?'  and it hurts phasma so much, but she can't hide the transmission.  She is legally obligated to show it to the rest of the captains and generals and even to snoke.  And snoke demands that she be killed.  Phasma is heartbroken, as is amena and talia, so phasma at least sets up a trial.

 Kylo has been with snoke during this time still doing his training and shit, but when he finds out about christina's trial and that she will be killed on a certain date by blaster fire, he loses his shit. Breaking free from snoke's citadel, he makes his way to the crescent base and personally interrupts her trial (think dumbledore when he breaks into harry's trial at the ministry lol).  The Bond reawakens at this moment, and it brings Christina to tears because she can hear him again.  She can see him again.  She can hear his thoughts and how much that he loves her.

 He is furious and threatens to kill everyone there if she is not freed.  Phasma is there and trying to calm him down because they're all under orders from snoke, and he's basically like 'FUCK SNOKE.  SHE'S MINE.'  and one of the captains decides to post-pone the trial for another day, and christina is dragged away in cuffs to a holding cell.  Kylo demands entrance to see her, and through the bars of her prison cell, they finally meet again for the first time in over six months.  He promises that she's not going to die, and she doesn't know how to believe him because this whole situation is hopeless.  Kylo is called away from her, but he refuses to budge.  He won't leave the other side of her prison cell until the next day when her trial is starting up again.  He follows into the court room regardless of what anyone else says, and he interrupts and distracts everyone.  He argues on her behalf, but he doesn't kno what he's talking about.  The fact of the matter is that she's a spy, and nothing he can say will negate that.  As the verdict comes down, he screams out and quotes obi-wan in a new hope when he says that if vader cuts him down he will only come back stronger or whatever.  And christina is dragged away with an execution date set for three days from then.  Kylo follows back to her cell, but it's now being guarded.  He threatens to kill anyone, but the knights of ren are there, now guarding christina because of snoke's orders.  Kylo is furious because this means that his knights have turned against him.  He leaves in a storm of anger, determined now to save christina from the knights and kill snoke.

 From here on out, kylo is officially on an opposite side of the war from everyone else.  Like christina, he is no longer on a side.  He has simply chosen a person.  And it's her.  She is everything.

 Somehow he breaks her out or something idk.  He dumps her on talia's planet for safe-keeping because hiding her seems like a good option while kylo goes out to kill all of his knights.  He's now completely grey.

 Talia and christina don't feel safe because they know that talia is being watched by the first order; they see bazine netal twice and know she's watching them.  Talia makes the decision to quit, and they pack their things in the night and leave for another planet.  Somehow, this leads to them meeting back up with hux after a couple of weeks of hiding. They are only getting little bits and pieces of information that kylo is out fucking things up.  The whole galaxy is under war, and kylo has gone off on his own and is killing high up members of the first order and resistance alike. But you and talia are aware that they are not actually indiscriminate.  He is killing anyone who stands in the way of him and christina being together.  He is killing his knights, killing spies, killing people loyal to snoke.  He kills bazine netal but is heavily injured during the battle with her, thus he isn't able to come rescue chrstina and talia when they finaly meet up with hux again.

 Talia ends up killing Hux by shooting him in the head with a blaster.  this is significant because she destroys his brain.  he trehatens to kill her and it becomes apparent that his freedom means far more than any emotions he had for talia.  talia means nothing to him. he has talia at knifepoint. christina steps in and manages to get him to let talia go. christina has him pinned and he threatens that you can either kill him right there or he will kill both of you and escape.  you know that he is fully capable of doing what he says and ther is no way that even the two of you could get him back to the resistance.  so as you're holding him to the ground with a knife at his throat, that's when talia steps in andshoots him in the fucking face.  christina is splalttered in hux's blood and completely shocked.  there's hardly anything left of his head, and she shakily rolls off of him.  talia is heaving, still holding the blaster in her hand.  "YOU SON OF A BITCH!" she shrieks, and she shoots again where his head should have been, aimed directly at what was once his brain.  she sinks to the ground, sobbing violently. what had once made hux the most fearsome general in the galaxy is now gone—to talia, a brain is the person. Without it, they are no longer real. all that is left are the blood splatters against the ground and the burnt hole in the dirt from the plasma blast.

 They escape, no longer being chased by anyone, and christina decides tha the best course of action is to get talia to the resistance.  She'll be safe there.  Talia is reluctant but she is taken in, though she's a bit of a pariah there because of her background.

 Christina goes back out, this time with help from poe and jessika.  Her goal is to find kylo, who's currently recovering on his own in a shitty inn on some backwater planet, trying to lay low.  The three of them find him, and he has an infection and is kind of out of it. Jessika brings in a med kit, and poe kind of can't believe that he's here, helping the dude who tortured him for information a year before.  But they fix him up becaue they're GOOD DAMN PEOPLE.  And there needs to be a fluffy scene of kylo and christina sharing a room as poe and jessika get their own room in another part of the inn.  And like, sexy kylo times idk.  But damn, we will all be in need by that point.

 Kylo requests that poe and jessika keep christina safe but drop him off at snoke's citadel because he wants to go kill snoke.  They're like 'no, ur hurt and dumb'.  And rey finishes her training around this time and they're like, 'team up with rey'.  Kylo is like 'ew gross no'.  But they team up anyway, and they start to devise a plan with Finn, and the three of them are going to go kill Snoke together with Luke.  Idk.  Something like that.  Meanwhile, poe and jessika are going to launch an offensive against snoke's planet and the final forces under phasma's control who are all around the planet.

 The battle is going on in the air. And then there's the in person battle of the three force sensitive bbs against snoke.  Christina is with leia.  Ships are leaving the finalizer as the battle rages on, and you realise that this will be the end for phasma.  She is the resistance's primary target along with some of the generals and captains of the first order.  Amena refuses to leave phasma, but she makes Beatriz leave, because Amena knows that anyone who stays is going to die there.  Beatriz comms Christina for help, and Christina is like 'I really can't help you. Just lay low.  Get somewhere safe.  And never say that you're from the First Order again.  I'm sorry.  That's all I can do.'  except you actually /can/ do something.  You comm beatriz back as she's crying and tell her to go to eriadu; market 67; the fountain.  She's confused but agrees.  captain harpin maltolpol is with her because I think they're going to get together idk. You comm samson and tell him to go to his usual spot in acouple of days to pick up those idiots.  He does and takes them to his home planet where they go into hiding.  They live happily ever after probably because they're good people at heart.

 Anyway, battle is continuing, and christina is very involved because of the Bond with Kylo.  Rey is kicking ass.  Finn is too for a while but gets injured along with Kylo.  Snoke starts manipulating any metal and wiring in their bodies, and Finn has metal rods in his back from Kylo's attack and Kylo has metal and wiring all through his right shoulder from a battle, so both fo them are kind of down for the count.  And rey is still fighting snoke, and christina kind of transfers into kylo's body and starts fighting.  This is a major parallel to the fight with stratoveer, because she takes kylo's lightsabre and uses it lefthanded as she had in that battle.  She feels like she's really there, just to Rey's right as they both take down Snoke.  And Kylo is cheering her on the entire time and feeding information about fighting. They are essentially sharing his body during the fight, and Snoke starts to realise that he's losing.  And Rey kicks him and uses the force to take away his lightsabre, and then christina gives kylo his body back, and he beheads snoke with his left arm and then drops down, realising that this is all over. He's done it.  And rey runs to finn.  Just as this battle has ended, the finalizer is critically damaged by poe, and it's only a matter of minutes before it all explodes, which will take out parts of the citadel planet.  So then kylo, rey, and finn all have to run to escape back to their ship, which rey pilots away as the boys sit in the back all injured and dumb and whatever.  Idk where luke was during this lol.

 The finalizer explodes, and everyone heads back to the resistance base on d'qar, and kylo falls to his knees before leia, asking for forgiveness.  She hugs him and doesn't even know what to say, because he has redeemed himself, and she's so happy that he's capable of love.  But she also knows that he is wanted by the new republic.  Christina comes over, and leia knows that the two of you must leave.  She says that they'll all be in touch, but she shushes them away and makes them promise to keep hidden.  Kylo nods. After all of the shit that he's gone through, nothing sounds better.  Kylo gets fixed up since his shoulder is shit, and then in the dead of night, they board a ship, heading for who knows where.

 Christina ends up taking kylo back to her original home planet, which is coincidentally where samson is now living. It's warm.  Sunny.  Bright. She hasn't been there since she was 17 and had left for university.  Kylo asks if she wants to visit her family but she shakes her head.  They were never close, and it wouldn't do any good to show up. They most likely believed that she was dead, and that was fine.  Besides, she has a new family.  It's kylo. It's leia.  It's talia.  Beatriz. They end up telling beatriz and harpin to join them on the planet after a little while, and though they don't live that close to one another, it's nice to know that there are other people in hiding with them.  A few people end up knowing that kylo and christina are there—leia, talia, jessika, poe, etc.  they occasionally visit.    THAT OR THEY GO TO SAMSON'S HOME PLANET.  I think this would make more sense??

 Talia works for the resistance and new republic, doing research.  She finally seems happy.

 The fic ends with kylo burying his hands into the earth, and christina is bringing a potted plant over to him with Pickles rubbing up against her leg.  They are planting it beside a house that they built from hand.  It's earthy and so incredibly opposite from the starkiller base, which had been dark and rocky.  There is beautiful metal work, which christina has done with the Force in her artistic metal bending and whatnot.  A ship flies by, and you look up, recognising it.  It parks just over a hill, and a few minutes later, Leia walks up with Luke following shortly behind.  Christina runs over to her, giving a hug as Luke gives Kylo a pat on the upper arm before Kylo hugs his mother.  They are standing there in the dirt path before their house, greeting, and Leia mentions, “Now, while I love seeing my son and daughter-in-law, I believe you owe me another introduction.”  and all four of you go inside the house to see a cooing little girl in a crib beneath an open window, light pouring upon her.  Leia holds her grand-daughter for the first time, and there are tears in her eyes.  The scene ends with the two of them as Leia rocks the infant in her arms, seeing through time to when she did the same with Ben.

[e-mamamama]

Adrenaline

Feet pounding. Arms pumping. Heart racing. 

The world flashes by in a blur, as feet connect with ground, propelling me along. Faster, further. But still, the desire to move drives me on faster.

Adrenaline pumps through my system so hard it's like I have superpowers. I can hear more, see more, move swifter than ever before. I run like my life depends on it. 

I have never been so scared in my life. 

********

“So, miss, can you explain to me exactly how this happened?” 

Two weeks earlier I crashed my car. It wasn't bad, actually quite a mundane incident, but my car got totalled. I forgot to put the handbrake on you see. And, well, when your car is parked at the top of a very steep hill, it shall roll down said hill, and crash into the wall at the bottom. 

“I just forgot to put on my handbrake, like an idiot.”

My wife was going to kill me. We had been completely reliant on this machine for the past nine months or so, and will struggle without it. 

“Okay. You're still going to need to come down the police station to answer a few questions.”

“Yes officer. What will happen to my car?”

I looked at my car, dismay clawing at my heart. We have never struggled with money, my wife and i, but we've never exactly been well off, either. Replacing the car was going to put a huge dent in our savings, and we don’t have that option right now. The bonnet of the car had completely caved in, the windscreen smashed beyond repair, and smoke billowed out of the engine. Had anyone been in there at the time, they would probably have died.

“Well, we’ll get it towed, and scraped. There's no way that's getting repaired. Definite write-off.”

“Okay. thank you, officer.”

I had followed the young woman back to the police station with a heavy heart, spent thirty minutes answering her questions and giving out my details, and then i was allowed to leave. I phoned my boss, explaining why i was going to be late in, and received a heavy sigh, but an understanding reply. “Okay, i won't dock your pay this morning, but you’d better get your ass here fast.”

I’d never been so grateful for working in a small shop in my whole life. Don't get me wrong, i love my job. I work in a bakery, and me and five others work there six days a week, making bread, and cakes, and pastries that are so good they could put any michelin star chef to shame. But it works long, pretty unsocial hours, and doesn't pay magnificently well. In fact, if it weren't for my wife working in an office high rise in the city, commuting two hours by train every day, we wouldn't have enough money to make do. 

But the fact that it was a sunday, and the hours were shorter, and the customers usually didn't start pouring in until midday, meant that my boss could handle me being an hour late.

When i got to work, i called my wife, informing her of the situation. She was a little, to say the least, miffed.

Okay, i got screamed at down the phone, before she burst into tears and started crying about how we didnt have money to waste at this point in her life, and with her out of work for at least the next two months, and me only earning megre sums, we wouldn't be able to get a new car for nearly six months at best.

But honestly, it could have been worse. She did the same, two months into our marriage, five years ago, with her first car. Luckily we had two car back then, and we never replaced her old one, but she let the car roll down a hill into busy traffic, where another car drove headlong into it, and put the other driver in hospital. She has very rightly been scared of getting behind the wheel since.

When i got home that evening, she had gotten her head around the idea, but was still pissed off at me, meaning we spent the evening in almost total silence, before she went to bed early, and i was left to stare at the note she’d written on the fridge titled ‘groceries we can't afford if you want a car’.

Frosty, to say the least.

*************

Pain cleaves its way through my chest as i sprint the last fifteen meters to the doors of the hospital. My breathing ragged, my legs quaking, i make my way to the receptionist. I can barely hear her over the roaring pounding of my heart in my ears. She has to repeat what she says at least twice, and i can tell that by the time i head off in the right direction, she fears im about to have a heart attack. My face beet red, and sweat dripping from me, i look disgusting, and had honestly hoped that in this moment i had time to stop and change. I don't. 

The run here from work took nearly an hour. What if i'm too late? What if…

I follow the signs, but the hospital is too large, and i get lost. “‘Scuse me, nurse. Where do i go for ward 3D?”

“Keep going love. And don't look so worried. She’s fine.”

But what if she’s not. What if…

The closer i get, the harder it is to breathe. In, out. In, out. But adrenaline has made itself at home in my heart, my brain swirling out of control with anxiety. I feel like i could pass out, but i can't afford to do that here, no matter it being a hospital.

I find the ward, i find the room. I knock.

I hear already hushed voices quiet as the door swings open. I go in, my gaze sweeping the small hospital room, before my eyes land on the one thing i was hoping to see. My wife, alive and well. Immediately, anxiety seeps from my bones, and a smile makes its way onto my face. My wife returns the smile. She doesn't care that I am covered in sweat, my face is flushed with blood, my hair sticks to my forehead, and I very probably smell.

Her mother, who sits beside the bed comes over to me and hugs me. “It's good to see you, girl.” she tells me, before kissing me on the cheek.

My father in law comes out of the bathroom, and claps me on the shoulder. “Congratulations.” he tells me, before shifting his gaze to his daughter. “See, i told you she’d be here soon.”

I say nothing, my gaze transfixed on the small bundle in my wife's arms. I slowly creep towards the bed, almost too afraid to look. Adrenaline, i welcome thee back into my heart.

“Don't look so afraid.” my wife laughs. How she looks so happy after what she’s been through, the pain she must be in, bewilders me. But thats one of the reasons why i love her; she has so much strength. “Sit.”

We have no boundaries, her and i, but still i am careful, and keep my distance, as i sit down on the hospital bed beside her. I wrap an arm around her shoulder, and look down at the tiny bundle. “So?” i rasp out, slightly surprised i even managed to speak at all.

My wife bounces the bundle up and down in her arms. She hasn't even told her parents. We had a pact, that we’d tell them together, but now my wife has to tell everyone by herself. “A girl.”

“We have a daughter.” i say, and it hits me like a brick wall. A daughter. I have a baby girl.

My father in law whoops with joy. “A granddaughter! Yeah baby!”

“Is the future going to be all girl?” my mother in law laughs, shaking her head.

“We can only hope.” my wife mumbles, kissing me.

I take hold of my daughters tiny hand, her fingers wrapping around my finger. “Hey baby. Its mum.”

[blackmilshake]

Cheating|| H.S. (your P.O.V)

His P.O.V.: http://blackmilkshake.tumblr.com/post/156212433502/cheating-harry-styles-imagine

Cheating Your P. O. V. 

This whole month has been the most tiring one of the year. I would stay in my office till midnight sometimes, all of these because I want to do as much as I can before Harry and I start to plan out the wedding and get married, achieve everything I have proposed before the wedding. 

I touch the engagement ring he gave me a few months ago and just the thought of marrying the love of my life makes me so happy. I stand up from my chair and look out, the sky is amazingly grey and it kind of scares me. It's definitely going to rain. Again. My office seems a little too dark and I wish I could just be watching the telly. 

Yesterday I had to stay at my best friend's because mine and Harry's house was way too far from my job. But today, hopefully, I would get home before the storm starts. I think about sending Harry a message but I just want to surprise him. It's Tuesday and I haven't seen him properly since last Friday, since my schedule has gone crazy I only see him for breakfast and before he falls sleep, if I am lucky enough to see him before he falls sleep. His life is much more tiring than mine so I totally get it. I take my car and drive to the closest restaurant and grab his favorite. On my way home I think about how lucky I am for having such an amazing and caring fiancé. Even though I feel like we are a little distant it may be because of our tight schedules. 

It will end soon tho, I am pretty sure my boss is giving a promotion and I want it, yes it is supposed to be more tiring but it will actually allow me to work it from home if I wanted to, I would also get to travel, so I would not feel so alone when Harry leaves for touring. That's why I've been working so hard too. It couldn't be so far, my boss has been giving me little hints about it, giving me extra tips and more responsibilities. I may even get that promotion next week, as I have heard. 

I am so excited. 

As I get to our house entrance I feel something weird inside me. Like... if something was not right. All the lights are on and Harry never turns on all the lights, he prefers dark rooms. Once I open the front door I hear moans coming from upside and my stomach twists. I close my eyes as I feel my heartbeat speed faster than I can tell. And for the first time ever I wish he's just watching porn. 

Once I'm the top of the stairs I hear a very deep and low "fuck" that I can recognize as Harry's voice and then her answer "oh fuck, Harry I want you inside of me so bad." It takes me a couple of seconds to actually realize what's happening. I feel my heart breaking and at the same time dying with each groan coming from their mouths, making me unable to move a single muscle. I know what will happen if I open that door and a huge part of me doesn't want it to happen. Why is all of this happening to me? Was I just not enough? "Fuck, love I'm gonna fuck you so hard." Harry's deep moan makes me want to throw up, that's the way he calls me yet that word feels so gross in this very moment. I can't take it any longer. But...Do I really want to look at that? Do I really want to see my fiancé -or should I say ex fiancé- fucking another girl in what used to be our bed? Before they can do anything else I open the door widely, trying to keep all the tears inside of me, I don't want to give them the satisfaction to see me broken. 

As soon as I enter Harry quickly stands up, pushing the girl that he had beneath him in the process, his eyes so wide open that I felt as if they would fall at any moment. He opens his mouth, yet no word leaves, then he clears his throat, definitely caught off guard. Of course he did not expect me coming home earlier and I cannot help but wonder if he had done this before. "Kitten..." he whispers as he tries to fix himself but I can only stare at the girl that has a huge grin of satisfaction all over her face and then I feel all the insecurities I had ever felt blossoming in me. She was like a model, tall, fit, with long blonde hair, big eyes- summing up, ridiculously pretty.  He tries to take my hand in his but I just can't stand his touch, not when my head goes this fast. It burns me. That woman winks at me and I feel a wave of rage all over my body, yet I don't move. 

Of course she wanted it. 

Everyone wanted Harry and I apart, management, the fans, his girl friends. I thought we were strong. Guess they weren't that wrong. 

They've won. 

Tears roll down my face as that woman walks out of the room, finally sinking in the fact that the love of my life didn't think I was good enough for him. He lied to me, of course. He can get any girl in the world.  Why stay stuck with me his whole life? 

How far would have he gone if I had not entered? How long has this been happening? My own thoughts eating me alive. I feel dizzy and my stomach upside down, like if I could throw up at any moment. I close my eyes for a moment and look at the ground, hoping that everything stops spinning.

"Love" Harry calls me almost with fright but I feel even sicker at that pet name. He called that... that woman love while she was beneath him. I shake my head no. I want to take that image out of my head. 

Suddenly the ring on my finger feels too heavy in my hand and I feel like taking it off, my eyes still on the ground. He takes a step closer again and I'm too weak to take a step back so I just stay there, lifeless as he takes my hand. 

And I suddenly feel hate. Hate towards myself. 

I promised myself I would never forgive something like this yet my heart wants to forgive him even when he hasn't even said a word worth my forgiveness. I hate that I love him. I hate that I gave him my whole self. 

"Why, Harry? I trusted you." It's all I can manage without breaking more. I can't even look at him in the eyes. His hand still on mine feels so right, his warmth sending chills down my spine just like the first time I met him. He doesn't answer my question and that only makes me feel worse, cause I'm not even worth a reason to him. 

"I.. I don't know. I love you, so much... don't misunderstand this, please. I'm such an idiot... and please forgive me, I'll do anything... babe please." Lies. Lies. Lies. I don't want to believe them. That's what I want my heart to understand. I can't trust him anymore. Inside of me there is a huge battle between my morals and my feelings. "Please... hit me, yell at me, make me feel like the worst man on earth, just... do something."  He begs, sounding so desperate and I can feel him crying, his hand trembling in mine, cold and sweaty but it's the first time I don't comfort him. It definitely breaks me, but I'm just too broken to fix anyone else, even him. 

I put up with the hate that I received on social media, the stalking, the paps watching every step I took, I had a thick skin for all of that and not even in my wildest dreams I expected the betray from him, it makes me feel so lost, so alone.

I thought it was us against the world.

Out of nowhere he leans down and kisses me and I want to quit so bad because those lips where on her before but it feels so right, his warmth and I feel so weak that I can´t help but kiss him back, even when I feel dirty. He was with someone else two minutes ago. I scold myself. The kiss is full of something I hadn't felt in a while and I've just come to notice. He's kissing me with so much love and passion that I hadn't felt in a long time, probably since the proposal. Love that I had always given him. Love that I didn't notice he had stopped feeling towards me. It feels like the first kiss. But it may the last one. 

I can't let a man do something like that to me and then expect me to act like if nothing ever happened. He never breaks our kiss, and we slowly lay down right there, on the floor, taking as much of each other as our hands can bare.  

I try to memorize each part of him as we both undress each other.  His hair. His big green eyes. His mouth. His nose. His tattoos. His torso. All of him. 

I want to remember him like this, making love to me, making me feel loved, staining me. He lets out slow deep moans that only reminds me of what I've just seen and my mouth lets out groans against my will. Partly because of all the pain inside of me. Harry takes a minute to look at my face and then he hugs me while we become one, with so much care and delicacy, like if he does not want to harm me, but I am already hurt, from the inside. Moans are left in my ear and moans leave my mouth as his hands travel all over my body, giving me pleasure so slowly, like if there was no rush, making me cry in agony. How long has it been since we actually made love? I quickly swipe the tears as he looks at my face. As we hit the highest point he moans my name in my ear and says an "I love you" that I can't answer after knowing what I was about to do. 

Not even the heat of the fireplace can warm up the cold growing inside of me. I look at him, lying right next to me, with his angelic self. I would have never thought he would do something like that. Tears fall down my face as a wave of rage hits me again.  I did nothing to deserve this. No one deserves this. I stand up slowly so I don't wake Harry up. It's three in the morning when I start packing all my stuff, leaving behind all of the things he gave me, including the necklace that came with the engagement ring. I call a cab when I'm done, but I feel empty and I want him to know how I feel so I write him a letter even when I feel so stupid. 

Dear Harry.

I know I should not be explaining myself but here I am.  I used to believe that we were inseparable, but time showed me wrong. Forgiving is harder than you can expect and right now I don't know if what I need is time or to be away from you, so I'm doing both. I love you, I always will and that's what's bothering me if I'm honest. I can't be with you now. But you have such and amazing heart... yes, even after what you did, and you deserve someone that loves you as I do, but at the same time someone you can love too as much as I did, and I hope you can find that girl that makes you feel like you made me feel. 

All the love to you, (y/n). 

Tears stream down my face as I hear the taxi parking outside the house.

"Bye Harry" I whisper as I take out my engagement ring and place it in his hand and I give him a last kiss on his soft lips. I have to bit my lip so a sob doesn't wake him up. That's the last thing I need now. While I'm in the cab I call my mom so she can pick up my car later and my best friend so they know that I'll be gone for a while and I don't want to be chased by anyone, including them and Harry. At six o'clock I'm at the airport and I contact my boss accepting the offer he gave me two months ago about moving to branch office of his company instead of the promotion and he gladly gives it to me. I had to leave everything behind even when it broke me because how can someone ever forgive a cheater? How can you cheat on someone you say you love? 

However a part of me wants to fight, to forgive him. Because I love him. 

Always have. 

Always will. 

---------------------------------------

If you would like to read more of my blurbs, here is my -tiny-Masterlist: http://blackmilkshake.tumblr.com/masterlist

And if you have any request do not be shy. 

ATL