starkillerscience
starkillerscience
Aisling in Outer Space
2K posts
Aisling. 27. Writer, Artist & Student. This is my Star Wars blog.
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
starkillerscience · 22 days ago
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oh no
i see you
i see what you are doing
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starkillerscience · 2 years ago
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oh, hi...
It’s been a really long time since I was last on Tumblr (the last I posted on this blog was in 2019?), and I haven’t written a word of fanfiction since August of 2016 when I entered my cognitive neuroscience PhD program. (It was a horrible experience. Don’t do a PhD.)
Anyway, I was active on Twitter for the past few years, but that website is quickly going down hill. I want to at least restart my presence on Tumblr after the years away, so here’s a quick summary since last we left off:
I got married in March 2019, nearly died from Covid in March/April 2020, left my PhD program summer of 2020, moved to Minnesota, started working as a program coordinator and education specialist in my fields (gerontology, cognitive neuroscience) in 2021, and had a baby in September 2022.
Yeah, an entire baby. She was a preemie, and it was a really difficult pregnancy for both of us, but we are doing remarkably better now. Here’s a picture of us when we were getting released from the hospital. She was 3 days old and only 4 pounds, 12 ounces. Truly the tiniest nugget.
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I don’t see myself writing any more fanfiction, but I’m blessed to have made so many friends from this experience. Literally, some of you whom I met through writing weird Star Wars fic were in attendance at my wedding. That’s incredible.
If any of you would like to reconnect, I’m trying to become active again over on my main blog (houseoftombombadil). I’m also still on Twitter (HoneyBeeRock), though not as much as I used to be--I tend to just retweet political articles and post pictures of my baby interacting with our kitties. As you can see, THEY ARE SISTERS.
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I want to thank all of you for joining me on this weird journey through life. I hope that the past few years have been rewarding for you.
See y’all around.
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starkillerscience · 6 years ago
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And for the record, I'm no longer active on tumblr due to the app not having worked on my phone for the past 8 months, everyone having migrated away, tumblr basically being unusable, etc.
However, I am very active on Twitter. You can follow me @ HoneyBeeRock
That's where I post all the hot takes about cognitive science, academia, religion, politics, disability, and history. Plus a thing or two about a good old star war.
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starkillerscience · 6 years ago
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I, for one, enjoyed a star war.
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starkillerscience · 7 years ago
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OH MY GOD WHAT YOU REALLY DID THIS WHAT I WOW WOW THANK YOU
I haven’t posted to this blog in like 6 months, but... you’re welcome? <3 
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starkillerscience · 7 years ago
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thorstanz replied to your post “Crescent Base Captives”
Ive waited two years for this yoU DONT UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU
hehehehe, it has certainly been a while, hasn’t it been?  I’m happy I could provide.
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starkillerscience · 7 years ago
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Crescent Base Captives
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The Sequel to Starkiller Science (that apparently y’all’ve been asking for) Chapter 1
“They keep killing themselves.”
There was nothing all that passionate in the way that Talia mentioned the statement—not overwhelmed or frightened or sad—just with more of a question than anything else.  As though she had said that sentence many times before in her head before saying it aloud to you.  It was like a matter of fact that she couldn’t quite comprehend, and so it had kept her up at night.  Not because Talia was particularly concerned about the fate of others, but because it was a mystery that she had no way to solve, and so it hung there in her brain, night after night.  Was she even sleeping anymore?  Or was this the thing that kept her up?
“A ‘hello’ is also sufficient,” you replied, holding the comm loosely between your fingers.  Your other hand was fast at work untangling a section of hair as you glanced into a tiny mirror.  The Resistance barracks were bare, pared down to only the necessities due to lack of funds.
“Yeah, yeah,” she commented reflexively.  “I always wondered if they were purposefully missing shots out on the field, and that’s why there was such a high death rate. Like, maybe they didn’t want to kill the enemy out of just fatigue or some weird morality, and so they just missed and let themselves get into danger.  But I swear to you I just got a new report from Hux that confirms it.”
Hux.
Why did his name make you cringe?  Hadn’t he been your friend?  Wasn’t he still your friend in some strange, twisted way? But you could feel a lump in your throat that was difficult to swallow.
He killed billions of people.
He wasn’t innocent; the Starkiller Base wasn’t a meaningless military weapon. It had destroyed entire planets for practically no good reason, and General Hux of the First Order had given the command.  The reminder of what he had done was ever-present on the Resistance Base—in the way the fighters spoke about him, about what he and the First Order had done, in the way that they never trusted you because you had been with the First Order. Perhaps you hadn’t aided in their military campaign, but you had been there, had interacted with them, had been complicit.
“Talia…” you sighed as she continued to babble about purposeful Trooper suicide connected to whatever had been wrong with their brains in the first place.  It was a mystery that you had wanted fervently to solve, but it seemed so small in the present state of the galaxy.  “Have you heard anything about him?”
Talia immediately stopped in the middle of her sentence, and you could hear through the comm that she was shuffling in her seat uncomfortable.  She knew exactly to whom you referred.  “Hux hasn’t talked about him at all.  I think it’s purposeful.”
“I’ve heard absolutely nothing in the entire week I’ve been here. Nothing from him.  No news being passed around the Resistance.  They’re in the dark, and so am I.”
“He shut off that link, right?”
The Force bond.
“Yeah.”
It was one of the most painful things that you had ever experienced—silence. Absolute silence within your mind where there had previously always either been a conversation brewing between you or at least the feeling of one another.  You had gotten so used to just feeling his presence within your mind as though he was never further than an arm’s length away, and now it was gone.
Where are you, Kylo?  What happened to you?
“He’ll come back,” Talia said unconvincingly.  “It’s not like he’s dead.”
Dead.
“No.  I know he isn’t.”  That was a lie, and you knew it as soon as it had come out of your mouth.  You had no way of knowing, and neither did Talia.  “Anyway… give me news if you get it.  You know my comm number.”
“And you’re damned lucky I keep it secret.  Hux would just about kill you for going missing at a time like this; they’re desperate for doctors.”
“I’m not that kind of doctor.”
“Whatever.  It hasn’t kept me out of an emergency medic base on board, and I don’t know what in the hell I’m doing.”
You shook your head, not even wanting to imagine what Talia was doing to try to help sick or injured Stormtroopers.  That had to be a nightmare.
“Okay.  I gotta go.”
“Say ‘hi’ to Pickles for me.”
“Will do.”
Click.  Dead air.
Was this what it was always going to be like?
Probably.
Kylo Ren stared up at the dark ceiling above him with just one eye, the other being covered in layers of gauze that wrapped around the slice across his face. Blinking through the darkness, he reached out his left arm, seeing how his pale fingers reflected the barest of light shining in from the medical room’s doorway.  His skin was nearly translucent in this light—blue veins showing visibly beneath pale wrists.
As of yet, he still couldn’t move his right arm.  Rey’s slice of the lightsaber had apparently torn through the muscles leading to his right arm, causing severed, burnt nerves.  Once or twice, he had managed to wiggle the fingers on his right hand, but the effort had been intolerable.  He hissed whilst trying once more, feeling on the slightest twitch of his index finger against the cotton sheets of the cot.
I deserved more, he thought. Rey should have gone ahead and killed him, kicked his lifeless body into the fiery ravine, and let him be incinerated with the entirety of the Starkiller Base.  But General Hux just had to save him by orders of Supreme Leader Snoke.  What did Snoke even want with his injured, black knight by this point? Ren was useless.  Utterly worthless and drowning in his own self pity.
“Why couldn’t you have disobeyed orders and left me?” Ren asked when Hux stopped by later in the evening.
“We’ve gone over this,” he growled.  It seemed as though Ren brought up the same damn thing each time Hux entered his room.  One complaint after another about wanting to die or be left behind.  And really, Hux should have.  He should have disobeyed Snoke and let Ren bleed to death in the snow, but the repercussions would have been deadly.  No doubt, Snoke would have choked the life from the general in seconds if he had left the Base without Ren.
Kylo Ren faced the wall, refusing to look at General Hux.  “If you can’t kill me, then…”  His voice cracked, and he stopped speaking.
“Then what?”
He was going to ask Hux to bring her to him…  To find wherever she was and let him look upon her face for even the briefest of moments, but he knew that it was impossible.  The Bond had been closed for a reason, and it was out of protection—out of Kylo Ren’s very realistic fear that any connection left open would invite the wrath of Snoke.  And even if he was in this useless state, he would protect her from that. No one would lay a finger upon the woman he loved; that much was certain.
“Nothing…”  Ren finally whispered, and he heard Hux scoff and step angrily from the room.  There was nothing he nor Hux could do to change the circumstances, and he closed his eyes with the thought still resonating in his head.  He wanted to give up so badly, and yet within him resided a completely separate and opposite feeling.  It was a want, a need, a pull.  It was anger and loathing that hadn’t yet turned to sadness but instead had given him a drive to pull her back to him.  It was the urge to run as far as he could, take her hand, and then keep running until not a soul could see either of them.
To that single feeling, he held on.  It was a seed still buried in the earth, but would nurture it—from seed to sprout to something wild and strong.  It was the last glimmer of hope, and he would be damned if he would let it die.
A/N: I can’t believe I just fucking wrote the first chapter of the sequel after 2 years and 3 months of absolutely nothing.  This is what happens when you stay up for 51 hours for a sleep-deprived EEG, finish your 3rd rewatch of Bojack Horseman, and decide, “YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BE A GREAT IDEA?  WRITE A RANDOM ASS CONVERSATION BETWEEN TALIA AND CHRISTINA ABOUT SUICIDALITY LINKED TO CHRONIC TRAUMATIC ENCEPHALOPATHY.”  Because all great decisions are made at that time.
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starkillerscience · 7 years ago
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what the fuck am i even doing?
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starkillerscience · 8 years ago
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im like 10 chapters into starkiller science and i feel like i've learnt sooooo much about disease! thanks for making such an interesting and educational fic
Huzzah!  I’m glad that your learning about some of the disorders I find so fascinating.  That was one of my goals for writing this fic was to educate and be an outlet for all of my nerdy interests. :)
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starkillerscience · 8 years ago
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floodinginstars replied to your post “Where has Aisling been for the past year?”
¡CONGRATULATIONS!
Thanks!!  My fiance and I are now planning our wedding and getting hyped for all of the fun of married life together! :D
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starkillerscience · 8 years ago
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I just want to thank you for letting us know how the sequel would have turned out. You didn’t have to do that, but you did so I appreciate it! I’m wishing you the best for you! :)
You’re welcome!!!  I’ve had it all mapped out for like 20 months, and I just wanted it to be out there.  I know that I’ll never have a chance to write it, but I think you guys deserve to have the ending--even if it was just 6 pages of my typed notes in a bare-bones draft.  Starkiller Science meant so much to me while writing it, and I know that a lot of you guys enjoyed it.  So it’s kind of the least I can do rather than leave you all at the edge of a literary cliff for all of eternity.
I hope that the sequel’s notes were satisfying and answered some questions.  Or at least I hope that it gives you all a platform to now use your imagination about how things could have gone.  I’m happy I could share it.
Thanks!  And best wishes to you, too! <3
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starkillerscience · 8 years ago
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Just a few very quick TLJ notes in relation to my fics:
(Yes, there will be major spoilers for TLJ.)
First off, thank God I’m not able to write fic any more and that I hadn’t decided to wait until this film to continue my Starkiller Science fic following the plot of this most recent film, because it would have been IMPOSSIBLE.  No matter how much I’ve thought about it through the night and into this morning, there is no possible way that I could have included the reader character (Christina Xavier; which is what I will call her for the rest of this post) and still kept the same plot of The Last Jedi.  Second, Kylo Ren had amazing character development for the first 3/4 of the movie and then reverted back to his childish characteristics and just totally destroyed a proper redemption/grey Jedi arc that I had planned.
Like, none of Kylo’s actions would have been possible if he had known that Christina was on board the same ships as Leia.  It would have been too damn much for him.  He already didn’t want to fight because his mum was on board, but having his lover with a Force Bond on board, too?  No.  He wouldn’t have been able to fight, and he wouldn’t have allowed Hux to fire on the ships.  He would have sabotaged something so that the Resistance could get away.
On top of that, I don’t know how I would have incorporated the already existing Force Bond into the bond that Snoke created between Rey and Kylo.  Unless it was a weird three way call the whole time, and I wouldn’t have been able to take myself seriously.
Last, the odds of Christina surviving with the Resistance would have been nill considering that all of like 40 people survived the movie.  I told my friend in the theatre with me that after Laura Dern’s character fucking OBLITERATED Snoke’s ship, and after Hux killed off most of the Resistance, there would have only been enough people on either side to have like a bar brawl or something. idk.
So sticking to TLJ plot for a fic would not have worked, and I’m glad that I had fully developed a plot way ahead of time of how I would want the story to continue if Christina and Talia were there to influence the actions of Kylo and Hux.
My original sequel ideas had the First Order crumble apart under Hux’s leadership, leaving him and Kylo both more or less abandoned by Snoke who then used the Knights of Ren to continue on with a newly formed First Order under Captain Phasma’s command.  The basic plot structure was that Christina would briefly spend time with the Resistance to form a plan for her return to the First Order as a spy.  In that position, she would join Amena as a nurses aide to help with the mass casualties of the First Order, all the while gathering intel on the First Order to send back to Jessika Pava and Poe Dameron.
Meanwhile, Rey would train under Luke, Finn would go and join Rey when she and Luke return, and they would start forming a plan to take down Snoke.  All the while, Kylo would be on the run from the First Order after having largely disappointed Snoke.  Kylo would eventually sneak into the Resistance to beg forgiveness from his mother and try to make things a little bit more right.  During this time Hux and some First Order defectors would also be in hiding, biding their time, though Talia searches for them, finds Hux, and kills him.  Off the top of my head, I can’t remember how she manages to get here because some plot points are fuzzy after 20 months of not writing this fic.
Christina would eventually be found out as a spy and be held in prison on Snoke’s planet, basically being used as a pawn to get Kylo to come back to Snoke.  So Kylo teams up with Rey, Finn, and Luke with the intent of killing Snoke, which they would do in an epic showdown.  This would allow Leia and Luke to restore order to the galaxy, Rey and Finn and Poe could go off and have their beautiful perfect ot3, and Kylo and Christina could just gtfo away from both the First Order and Resistance to start their own lives in a way they most see fit.
The fic would have ended with Leia and Luke going on a trip to visit Kylo and Christina on the planet where they have made a home.  They walk up to the house, giving hugs, so happy to see one another.  And at the very end, Christina hands Leia a little bundle to hold: the newest member of the Skywalker family.
It was going to be dramatic and end cute as all hell.  But my PhD has taken over my entire life, and I also don’t have the motivation to write this, even if I had the time.  So instead, I am going to copy and paste all of my notes below about the sequel.  They are convoluted.  Entire plot points are missing that would have needed to be filled in as I developed the story.  There are run on sentences for days and my own commentary, but I think it pretty much sums up the ideas I had.  Enjoy.
Welcome to the five pages of notes that I took.  Also, if you were wondering what it looks like when I develop a story and am designing it, welcome to that process:
starkiller science sequel: Crescent Base Captives
 (why kylo cut the Bond: On one side, he honestly believes that he’s going to die, and he wanted to shut her out so that she wouldn’t feel his death through the Bond, because that would be so detrimental that it could kill her.  On the other side of things, he figures that if he does survive, he’s going to be facing Snoke and more training, and he doesn’t want her to slip into the Dark side of the Force along with him.  So by blocking the Bond to the fullest of his abilities, he sees it as the only way to truly protect her.)
 christina is trying so hard to adjust to not having contact with kylo and being with the resistance.  She's promisted leia that she will bring her son back, but she has no idea how to actually go about this.  She's a scientist—not a warrior, not a diplomat.  But at the same time, she knows that she has allies.  She is still in contact with Talia to a limited capacity, though Phasma and Amena are harder to reach, and christina isn't sure if she /wants/ to reach them because they're so close to the first order.  Talia doesn't know what to do with herself. She wants to find Hux and bring him closer to her.  She can't let him go, even though she knows that he doesn't love her how she loves him. And with her collection of brains gone and research gone and everything else, she feels like she has been left with nothing.  The first order doesnt need her.  They have bigger fish to fry.  So she leaves and heads back to the academic planet, where she had also studied ten years before you.  She becomes an assistant in a university morgue, where she can teach brain anatomy and dissection to medical students.  She isn't really happy there, but it's something.  She still gets to play with brains, and she's safe.  But she longs for hux.  Longs for things to go back to the way that they were before.
 Christina is trying really hard to get closer to finn and poe and rey.  She sees them as being the only hope of getting kylo back.  She trusts finn fully, but he is slightly wary of her. He knows that she's a good person, but he can't forgive kylo for what he has done, and it's difficult for him to just forgive you supporting him.  But at the same time, he sees you as weak, as scared, and as willing to set things right as him and rey.  So he puts aside his anger at kylo and meets with you in private.  The two of you are on d'qar, sitting in the forest, and he vows that he'll still be your guardian angel.  And you break down crying beside him that you would receive such kindness once again when you least deserved it.
 From there, leia starts to draft a plan.  She and christina go through ideas with finn and poe about what o do with you, but there isn't much they can think of.  You aren't a warrior, aren't a politician. And leia ends up coming up with the idea of you spying and rejoining as a doctor.  It seems like the best idea out there, even though it's really morally conflicting.  Leia decides for you to undergo a bootcamp with some of the newer recruits, so the next two months are spent training physically.  It's a time to work on basic combat, building muscle, just generally getting some skills that she may need later.  She learns how to properly fire her blaster, how to fight hand to hand. She doubts that she will use most of the training, but there's something satisfying to seeing her arms become more muscular and body work better.  She had never worked out before this because she had spent so much time sitting and doing academic work.  “I got a brain work out” she tells Poe, and he laughs at her one night, because he remembers hearing stories from Jessika about her brainy roommate.  Jessika nd Poe and Finn are basically in charge of training Christina when she's not at the bootcamp during the days, and Rey is meanwhile training with Luke.  Sometimes, Christina swears that she can hear Rey's thoughts, but she wonders if she's imagining it just like the bits and pieces she's getting through the Bond from Kylo.
 SHE BECOMES A FUCKING SPY FOR THE RESISTANCE AND IS SENT BACK TO THE FIRST ORDER TO WORK UNDER AMENA.  She calls talia, and it turns out that talia is on her own teaching and generally hating herself.  But she gives her amena's comm and christina calls amena and basically begs for some position in the first order and to come back.  Amena doesn't know that christina will be a spy but thinks that she just wants back with her friends and people she knows or whatever.  Amena is like 'I don't know hwere to put you' and christina convinces her to take her back as an aide.  And so amena obliges but can't guarantee a pay at all.  
 Christina goes back to crescent base and meets with amena's younger cousin, Beatriz, who is also working as an aide.  Beatriz was a former Storm Trooper, but Amena pulled strings to get her into the medical centre since Beatriz was a field medic.  She has the skills and is safer there with Amena.  Beatriz starts to take Christina under her wing to teach her how to do the medical stuff.  Christina catches on quick since she had done some of this stuff during her schooling (like giving immunisations and doing assessments is fucking easy; she can do that. But learning how to give proper stitches and stuff becomes necessary.  And she learns how to use the equipment in the medical centre).
 Meanwhile, christina only feels bits and pieces from Kylo. He's on such a far away part of the galaxy that it's hard to feel much of a connection.  She only gets these fluttering emotions, and she knows that he's hiding from her.  Probably due to snoke.  Snoke gave ren the ultimatum to kill her or han, but he would prefer for them to both be dead so that kylo can delve even further into the darkness.  Especially when considering that killing han didn't work for the plans.  Snoke realises now that he shouldnl't have given ren the choice.  Kylo knows this, and he hates the fact that he's supposed to kill christina.  He sends her emotions every now and then when he thinks he can get past snoke, but it's so minimal that christina starts to wonder if she is imagining the Bond.  
 Kylo has been at the citadel for a couple of weeks, slowly healing.  The tendons of his right shoulder are completely fucked up, and he has limited motion.  He undergoes two different surgeries, leaving his shoulder completely covered in scars and a few screws and electronic tendons now wrapping through the muscle and joint.  It hurts when it rains, hurts to hold his lightsabre, but he works through it anyway. He thinks briefly about whether you feel the same pain (which you do on occasion, but you don't realise that it's when it's raining near kylo; you feel particularly blue and sad on these days. You tell amena that it feels like you have days where everything is raining on you.) and also thinks about how Amena is no doubt trying to recover from the blaster wounds—that is, if she made it out alive.  He hasn't heard a single word from Phasma to know.  Kylo has been kept purposefully in the dark because of snoke.  At first, it's because he is healing, but even after that, kylo understands that he's being trapped.  Snoke doesn't trust him, and he's right not to trust kylo, because kylo is being drawn to the light the longer that he is there.
             “Last time, I made the mistake of giving you an ultimatum,” Snoke sighed. “It was foolish.  I hadn't understood the full extent of your relationship with that woman.  If I had known it was more than lust, more than your desire to fulfil a possessive nature, then I would have forced you to kill her along with your father.  But this time, I will not make that same mistake. This time, you will be given an ultimatum that forces you to act in accordance with my will.”
           Ren swallowed the lump in his throat, already aware of what Snoke was about to ask.
           “This time, you may choose, but it is between her life and your own.  Choose wisely.”
 Though Hux has been in contact with Phasma, trying to get her to take a lot of the reigns of the first order.  She has been made a general, which is awesome, but she's stressed and upset that hux is hardly leaving the citadel.  He meets with her after four weeks, and she's boiling mad. She wants him to stay on the crescent base and finalizer with her and the troopers, but hux wants to keep an eye on kylo as well as get further training from snoke.  Hux sees the starkiller base's destruction as a major blow to his standing, and he fears that snoke will have kylo kill him or will simply eliminate him himself, so he's trying to suck up to snoke, I suppose. Phasma calls him out on this.  He tries to ignore that she is correct.
 At some point, hux falls out of favour with the first order entirely and is kicked out.  He kills the people who try to kill him under snoke's orders, but he knows that it's only a matter of time before he's captured by either the resistance or the first order and killed.  There is absolutely no one he can go to, and his credits have been reposessed by the first order.
 At some point, the first order asks christina to then be a spy on the resistance and like, she's then a double agent and everything is getting really shitty, and she can't keep it up, and one of her transmissions to jessika and leia gets intercepted, and phasma realises just what kind of position christina is in, and she shoves her up against a wall and is like 'DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'VE DONE?'  and it hurts phasma so much, but she can't hide the transmission.  She is legally obligated to show it to the rest of the captains and generals and even to snoke.  And snoke demands that she be killed.  Phasma is heartbroken, as is amena and talia, so phasma at least sets up a trial.
 Kylo has been with snoke during this time still doing his training and shit, but when he finds out about christina's trial and that she will be killed on a certain date by blaster fire, he loses his shit. Breaking free from snoke's citadel, he makes his way to the crescent base and personally interrupts her trial (think dumbledore when he breaks into harry's trial at the ministry lol).  The Bond reawakens at this moment, and it brings Christina to tears because she can hear him again.  She can see him again.  She can hear his thoughts and how much that he loves her.
 He is furious and threatens to kill everyone there if she is not freed.  Phasma is there and trying to calm him down because they're all under orders from snoke, and he's basically like 'FUCK SNOKE.  SHE'S MINE.'  and one of the captains decides to post-pone the trial for another day, and christina is dragged away in cuffs to a holding cell.  Kylo demands entrance to see her, and through the bars of her prison cell, they finally meet again for the first time in over six months.  He promises that she's not going to die, and she doesn't know how to believe him because this whole situation is hopeless.  Kylo is called away from her, but he refuses to budge.  He won't leave the other side of her prison cell until the next day when her trial is starting up again.  He follows into the court room regardless of what anyone else says, and he interrupts and distracts everyone.  He argues on her behalf, but he doesn't kno what he's talking about.  The fact of the matter is that she's a spy, and nothing he can say will negate that.  As the verdict comes down, he screams out and quotes obi-wan in a new hope when he says that if vader cuts him down he will only come back stronger or whatever.  And christina is dragged away with an execution date set for three days from then.  Kylo follows back to her cell, but it's now being guarded.  He threatens to kill anyone, but the knights of ren are there, now guarding christina because of snoke's orders.  Kylo is furious because this means that his knights have turned against him.  He leaves in a storm of anger, determined now to save christina from the knights and kill snoke.
 From here on out, kylo is officially on an opposite side of the war from everyone else.  Like christina, he is no longer on a side.  He has simply chosen a person.  And it's her.  She is everything.
 Somehow he breaks her out or something idk.  He dumps her on talia's planet for safe-keeping because hiding her seems like a good option while kylo goes out to kill all of his knights.  He's now completely grey.
 Talia and christina don't feel safe because they know that talia is being watched by the first order; they see bazine netal twice and know she's watching them.  Talia makes the decision to quit, and they pack their things in the night and leave for another planet.  Somehow, this leads to them meeting back up with hux after a couple of weeks of hiding. They are only getting little bits and pieces of information that kylo is out fucking things up.  The whole galaxy is under war, and kylo has gone off on his own and is killing high up members of the first order and resistance alike. But you and talia are aware that they are not actually indiscriminate.  He is killing anyone who stands in the way of him and christina being together.  He is killing his knights, killing spies, killing people loyal to snoke.  He kills bazine netal but is heavily injured during the battle with her, thus he isn't able to come rescue chrstina and talia when they finaly meet up with hux again.
 Talia ends up killing Hux by shooting him in the head with a blaster.  this is significant because she destroys his brain.  he trehatens to kill her and it becomes apparent that his freedom means far more than any emotions he had for talia.  talia means nothing to him. he has talia at knifepoint. christina steps in and manages to get him to let talia go. christina has him pinned and he threatens that you can either kill him right there or he will kill both of you and escape.  you know that he is fully capable of doing what he says and ther is no way that even the two of you could get him back to the resistance.  so as you're holding him to the ground with a knife at his throat, that's when talia steps in andshoots him in the fucking face.  christina is splalttered in hux's blood and completely shocked.  there's hardly anything left of his head, and she shakily rolls off of him.  talia is heaving, still holding the blaster in her hand.  "YOU SON OF A BITCH!" she shrieks, and she shoots again where his head should have been, aimed directly at what was once his brain.  she sinks to the ground, sobbing violently. what had once made hux the most fearsome general in the galaxy is now gone—to talia, a brain is the person. Without it, they are no longer real. all that is left are the blood splatters against the ground and the burnt hole in the dirt from the plasma blast.
 They escape, no longer being chased by anyone, and christina decides tha the best course of action is to get talia to the resistance.  She'll be safe there.  Talia is reluctant but she is taken in, though she's a bit of a pariah there because of her background.
 Christina goes back out, this time with help from poe and jessika.  Her goal is to find kylo, who's currently recovering on his own in a shitty inn on some backwater planet, trying to lay low.  The three of them find him, and he has an infection and is kind of out of it. Jessika brings in a med kit, and poe kind of can't believe that he's here, helping the dude who tortured him for information a year before.  But they fix him up becaue they're GOOD DAMN PEOPLE.  And there needs to be a fluffy scene of kylo and christina sharing a room as poe and jessika get their own room in another part of the inn.  And like, sexy kylo times idk.  But damn, we will all be in need by that point.
 Kylo requests that poe and jessika keep christina safe but drop him off at snoke's citadel because he wants to go kill snoke.  They're like 'no, ur hurt and dumb'.  And rey finishes her training around this time and they're like, 'team up with rey'.  Kylo is like 'ew gross no'.  But they team up anyway, and they start to devise a plan with Finn, and the three of them are going to go kill Snoke together with Luke.  Idk.  Something like that.  Meanwhile, poe and jessika are going to launch an offensive against snoke's planet and the final forces under phasma's control who are all around the planet.
 The battle is going on in the air. And then there's the in person battle of the three force sensitive bbs against snoke.  Christina is with leia.  Ships are leaving the finalizer as the battle rages on, and you realise that this will be the end for phasma.  She is the resistance's primary target along with some of the generals and captains of the first order.  Amena refuses to leave phasma, but she makes Beatriz leave, because Amena knows that anyone who stays is going to die there.  Beatriz comms Christina for help, and Christina is like 'I really can't help you. Just lay low.  Get somewhere safe.  And never say that you're from the First Order again.  I'm sorry.  That's all I can do.'  except you actually /can/ do something.  You comm beatriz back as she's crying and tell her to go to eriadu; market 67; the fountain.  She's confused but agrees.  captain harpin maltolpol is with her because I think they're going to get together idk. You comm samson and tell him to go to his usual spot in acouple of days to pick up those idiots.  He does and takes them to his home planet where they go into hiding.  They live happily ever after probably because they're good people at heart.
 Anyway, battle is continuing, and christina is very involved because of the Bond with Kylo.  Rey is kicking ass.  Finn is too for a while but gets injured along with Kylo.  Snoke starts manipulating any metal and wiring in their bodies, and Finn has metal rods in his back from Kylo's attack and Kylo has metal and wiring all through his right shoulder from a battle, so both fo them are kind of down for the count.  And rey is still fighting snoke, and christina kind of transfers into kylo's body and starts fighting.  This is a major parallel to the fight with stratoveer, because she takes kylo's lightsabre and uses it lefthanded as she had in that battle.  She feels like she's really there, just to Rey's right as they both take down Snoke.  And Kylo is cheering her on the entire time and feeding information about fighting. They are essentially sharing his body during the fight, and Snoke starts to realise that he's losing.  And Rey kicks him and uses the force to take away his lightsabre, and then christina gives kylo his body back, and he beheads snoke with his left arm and then drops down, realising that this is all over. He's done it.  And rey runs to finn.  Just as this battle has ended, the finalizer is critically damaged by poe, and it's only a matter of minutes before it all explodes, which will take out parts of the citadel planet.  So then kylo, rey, and finn all have to run to escape back to their ship, which rey pilots away as the boys sit in the back all injured and dumb and whatever.  Idk where luke was during this lol.
 The finalizer explodes, and everyone heads back to the resistance base on d'qar, and kylo falls to his knees before leia, asking for forgiveness.  She hugs him and doesn't even know what to say, because he has redeemed himself, and she's so happy that he's capable of love.  But she also knows that he is wanted by the new republic.  Christina comes over, and leia knows that the two of you must leave.  She says that they'll all be in touch, but she shushes them away and makes them promise to keep hidden.  Kylo nods. After all of the shit that he's gone through, nothing sounds better.  Kylo gets fixed up since his shoulder is shit, and then in the dead of night, they board a ship, heading for who knows where.
 Christina ends up taking kylo back to her original home planet, which is coincidentally where samson is now living. It's warm.  Sunny.  Bright. She hasn't been there since she was 17 and had left for university.  Kylo asks if she wants to visit her family but she shakes her head.  They were never close, and it wouldn't do any good to show up. They most likely believed that she was dead, and that was fine.  Besides, she has a new family.  It's kylo. It's leia.  It's talia.  Beatriz. They end up telling beatriz and harpin to join them on the planet after a little while, and though they don't live that close to one another, it's nice to know that there are other people in hiding with them.  A few people end up knowing that kylo and christina are there—leia, talia, jessika, poe, etc.  they occasionally visit.    THAT OR THEY GO TO SAMSON'S HOME PLANET.  I think this would make more sense??
 Talia works for the resistance and new republic, doing research.  She finally seems happy.
 The fic ends with kylo burying his hands into the earth, and christina is bringing a potted plant over to him with Pickles rubbing up against her leg.  They are planting it beside a house that they built from hand.  It's earthy and so incredibly opposite from the starkiller base, which had been dark and rocky.  There is beautiful metal work, which christina has done with the Force in her artistic metal bending and whatnot.  A ship flies by, and you look up, recognising it.  It parks just over a hill, and a few minutes later, Leia walks up with Luke following shortly behind.  Christina runs over to her, giving a hug as Luke gives Kylo a pat on the upper arm before Kylo hugs his mother.  They are standing there in the dirt path before their house, greeting, and Leia mentions, “Now, while I love seeing my son and daughter-in-law, I believe you owe me another introduction.”  and all four of you go inside the house to see a cooing little girl in a crib beneath an open window, light pouring upon her.  Leia holds her grand-daughter for the first time, and there are tears in her eyes.  The scene ends with the two of them as Leia rocks the infant in her arms, seeing through time to when she did the same with Ben.
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starkillerscience · 8 years ago
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HELLO. THIS IS YOUR SPACE TRASH MOTHER, CURRENTLY AT A TALK WITH BUZZ "SECOND MAN ON THE MOON" ALDRIN. I'M NOT EMOTIONAL. YOUR EMOTIONAL. SPACE.
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starkillerscience · 8 years ago
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Hi! So, I remember when you were still writing that amazing Kylo fanfic that made my days a lot better. I used to send music recomendations for the chapters hahaha it's been a long time and I decided to come back to see how you are doing and I found out you are engaged?!?! I wish you all the best!! You are special to me because that fic was something that helped me forget about the outside world for a while and just be happy so I am really really happy for you. You are amazing
I’m so glad that my fic could help you out!  Similarly, I wrote it as a way of escaping into something new and exciting as I played with my own imagination.  I loved creating playlists and hearing what kind of music you guys thought fit the chapters, because it exposed me to new bands and inspired me as I wrote.
And, yes, I’m engaged as of about a week ago!  It’s been super exciting, and now my fiance and I are planning out our wedding.  We’re thinking of going with an earthy, Lord of the Rings theme, but Star Wars or outer space was the runner up idea.  I’m sure that I’ll post pictures when the time comes, because it’s going to be very special for the both of us.  Thanks for your well wishes!  It makes my heart happy to still have such amazing people around!
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starkillerscience · 8 years ago
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I'm so very proud of you and all that you do!!!
Thank you!!  I’m sending big hugs your way!
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starkillerscience · 8 years ago
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Where has Aisling been for the past year?
Hi everyone!
So, I disappeared last year when I started my PhD programme.  Rather than thinking that my writing would pick back up as a result of me procrastinating doing course work, I’ve actually had very little time at all to even take care of myself, much less procrastinate.  So my writing has more or less completely stopped.  These days, when I write for fun, it’s only in my diary.  And even that, I’ve fallen quite behind on.
But here are some general updates about my life and whatnot:
I’m now in the second year of my PhD in cognitive neuroscience.  At the moment, I split my time three ways between memory and learning research in the lab, teaching undergraduate research methods and statistics, and taking classes and workshops.  I usually work upwards of 60 hours per week, but whilst writing my masters thesis and during some weeks of heavy research, I’ve hit 80 hours.  It’s a lot, but I have a lot of fantastic friends and professors in the department.
My health has been seeing decline over the past year due to Ehlers Danlos Syndrome.  I’ve had increases in pain, depressive symptoms, and join immobility.  So I haven’t been feeling quite myself as much.
In good news, though, I started dating this amazing man back in April (the one to whom I alluded had read my Kylo Ren fic and yet still wanted to be with me).  As of a week ago, we are now engaged and planning our wedding for early 2019, i’A!  (There’s also totally a chance that our wedding will be outer space themed.)
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Life has been really crazy and busy for me.  And I wish that I could have continued writing Star Wars fanfic--especially since so many of these stories are still alive in my head.  But I wanted to let you guys know that things are okay for me.  I’m still around, still nerdy as ever, still looking forward to the next Star Wars film that comes out in two months.  And now I’m blessed to have an amazing fiance and future husband alongside me.
I wish all of you the best.  And whether I post here again or not, I don’t know.  But you all gave me such a wonderful adventure as I wrote for an audience for the first time.
Thanks!
-Aisling
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starkillerscience · 8 years ago
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So proud of you 😃 💛
Awww, thank you!! <3  I love you guys so much, even after all this time!
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