#what is it with Brits and Ibiza?

[fandom-blahs]

Not Phia and Tom talking about how Helaena and Aegon would spend their honeymoon in Ibiza.

Yes give me crumbs for their miserable miserable relationship

[f1fantasys]

Why Me?

Summary - friends w/ Lando, wanting to be something more. He shuts you out...until he doesn't.

Pairing- lando x fewtrell/reader

Warnings - angst, smut, swearing, p in v, fingering, m and f receiving oral. I'M SORRY, Y'ALL ASKED FOR SMUT BUT I HAD TO THROW IN SOME ANGST!

5.4k words

You had known Lando for as long as you can remember. Being Max's little sister meant that the three of you practically grew up together, even though the two boys were 3 years older than you. Of course, over the years of your friendship with Lando slowly turned into strong, strong, feelings, but you wouldn't dare tell anyone. Not Lando. And sure as hell not Max. Max always made it clear to Lando that you, his little sister, were off limits.

But, who was Max to stop Lando from sending you flirty signals on your last holiday in Ibiza together. God, it honestly was the worst, yet the best holiday you'd been on yet. Lando was absolutely glowing, he'd had an amazing f1 season, and the success made him looking fucking hot. The sexual tension between you and Lando had reached new heights. Stolen glaces, stolen touches, flirty comments - it was all too much, but nothing at all.

Here you were 6 months later, the European races in full swing, meaning you got to tag along with Max to the triple header. The night you got to Barcelona, you found yourself alone on the balcony of your hotel room with Lando. You'd talked about everything and nothing, just catching up on each others lives. When he hugged you goodnight, you watched as his eyes lingered from your eyes to your lips - his own a mere few centimeters away. All he had to do was close the short gap. You longed him to. But he didn't. He pulled away and walked out of your room without saying a word.

The race had been a touch pill to swallow, for Lando especially. So close to another win but just not crossing the line. It hurt to see someone you care about beating himself up, but what you weren't expecting was for him to be so off and cold with you. You more-so than anyone else.

You were currently at the post race dinner that McLaren were hosting. Sat at a table with Max and Pietra, and Lando opposite you. He was obviously upset about the race but he still seemed to be enjoying himself and joking around and chatting with everyone, except you. Every time you said something, or tried to start a conversation with him, he shut you down.

It felt weird to have him act this was towards you, almost as if he didn't want you to even be in his space. By the time you reached the club, you decided to stay away him for a bit. Maybe it was just the stress of the race getting to him. But you won't lie, secretly, it was pulling your heart strings. You hated to be in a position like this.

A few shots and some dancing later, you and Pietra came back to the VIP corner where the boys and a few other drivers were chatting. Of course, there had to be a girl sitting on Lando's lap.

It never got easier seeing him with different girls every weekend, and seeing it in person physically made you feel sick. She was sat on his lap wearing a short dress, so it was to no surprise his fingers were toying with the bottom and trying to get past it.

They were whispering in each others ears, and when Lando saw you, he smirked, then kissed her. Hard and deep.

What the fuck was he playing at, you though to yourself. You knew that he knew there were some sort of feeling involved between the two of you, and for him to play that in-front of you was a low blow.

It took everything in you to hold your tears back, so you pulled Pietra to the bar to down some more shots to try and get the Brit out of your head.

A few minutes later, while you were still standing at the bar, you felt his all too familiar body next to your, eyes staring into yours as if it were the end of the world.

You eventually broke that contact and looked around.

''Where'd your girl disappear to?'' you asked. The alcohol in you giving the confidence to talk. You could see he was about to tease you of some sorts, but you didn't give him a chance to. ''Got enough of you already?'' you asked sarcastically, making a pouty face. His face changed, anger settling in.

''What the fuck y/n. She's gone to the fucking bathroom. At least I know she's gonna come back to me to let me fuck her til she cant walk, unlike you, who can't even get a guy to get in an uber with you, let alone take home for stuff.'' he spat.

You felt like your world stopped. Did Lando really just say that to you?Without realizing you felt a tear slide down your cheek. ''I-I'' you started but he cut you off. ''You what?'' he asked, but you couldn't talk, too afraid to have your voice crack in front of him. ''Yeah, I thought so.'' he said before the girl appeared by his side again, pulling him in for a kiss.

He wrapped his arms around her and looked at you, before walking away.

Just then Max was standing in front of you.

''y/n, fuck, what's wrong?'' he asked. You could see Lando watching and listening from where he was.

''I-nothing, too much to drink. Can we leave please?'' you said through glossy eyes.

''Of course, let's go'' he said, pulling both you and Pietra by the hand. You all walked up to Lando so Max could tell him you guys were leaving. Lando all the while looking at you only, murmured ''yeah whatever, I'm staying.''

The look he was giving you was heartbreakingly awful. You couldn't believe it was him who was literally throwing daggers at you and your heart, knowingly. You couldn't help but start sobbing the more you thought of it. So Max dragged you out the club and back to the hotel.

It was needless to say you couldn't sleep that night, and when you finally made it for breakfast in the morning, he was there, with her.

You tried to keep your distance, the both of you not even acknowledging each other, until Max noticed something was going on. ''What's up with you and Lando?'' he asked you. You just shrugged - ''nothing.''

And when he asked Lando, Lando simply said he should ask you. So Max tried, and failed to get either of you to tell him anything.

The plane back to Monaco was awkward to say the least. Just you, Lando, Max and Pietra, who were knocked out as soon as the plan took off.

Lando distanced himself from you once again, and went to sit at the back all by himself. But you needed to talk to him. Ask him where all those words he threw at you last night came from, and why he suddenly looked disgusted whenever you were near him.

You made your way to where he was sitting and as soon as he saw you he rolled his eyes. ''Not now'' he spat, tone the same as last night. You flinched, wrapping your arms around yourself, but you stood your ground and sat opposite him.

''Lando, please. Where is all of this coming from?'' you calmly asked, trying to hold the tears back.

His face turned cocky. ''Seriously, y/n, not everything is about you. Can't you take a fucking hint and leave me alone?''

''But why are you shutting me out alone? You're fine with everyone else so what did I deserve to get this treatment?'' you whispered, tears really threatening to slide down your cheeks any minute now.

''Y/n, I'm begging you. Leave me the fuck alone. I've just had a bad race, have another one this weekend which i need to concentrate on, and I don't need you wanting to have my attention and to be fuckin needy all the time.'' you exclaimed, face red with anger by now.

You didn't know how to respond, and by now the tears were flowing freely down your face. The old Lando would have hated to see you crying about anything, let alone be the one who caused these tears.

You heart broke as you looked at his face, contorted with anger and disgust, aimed directly at you. This wasn't the Lando you grew up with. This wasn't the Lando you fell in love with.

''I'm sorry'' was all you whispered as you made your way back to you seat, sobbing to yourself.

Obviously, you didn't end up going for the race in Austria. You just made up an excuse to Max about needing to be at work in Monaco, which he believed. You also hadn't spoken to Lando for well over a week now, which was honestly the longest you'd gone without speaking to him.

You heart was still healing from all the daggers he threw at it. Forget the part about being in love with him - he ruined you friendship. And you weren't sure if you'd ever get it back with him.

Silverstone was a tough one. You definitely didn't want to be anywhere near Lando, but it was also the best race of the year, and to give up a Paddock pass would be a waste. So Pietra eventually convinced you to go. She knew something went down with Lando, but she didn't push you for answers. You told her you'd talk about it when you were ready.

You managed to avoid Lando for the most part of the weekend, until a few minutes before the race. He was getting ready to jump in the car and take it to the grid when his eyes found yours. You swore you stopped breathing for a minute. He looked so devilishly handsome, but his eyes told you a different story. He wasn't happy to see you there. He just shook his head at you before putting his helmet on and getting into the car.

You immediately realized it was a mistake to be here. Why did you even come? He made it perfectly clear the last time you spoke that he didn't want you anywhere near him, so why the fuck did you think it was okay to be here right now?

You felt your throat closing up and you really needed some air, you really needed to get out of here. So you told Max you weren't feeling well and rushed to your hotel room, grabbed your bags, and got the first flight back to Monaco.

Finally as you entered your penthouse could you breathe a little again. You were back in your own space, and nothing made you feel out of place, as you did earlier today.

After washing your hair in a well deserved long shower, you couldn't help but check how the race ended. P3 for Lando, he looked shattered. So you forced yourself to stop looking at your social media and just try and relax your mind. This was it - you weren't friends with him anymore, and you wouldn't let yourself wallow. It's his loss that he's shutting you out like this.

Since you knew you'd be home alone for the next 2 days at least, with Max and P only supposed to come back on Wednesday, you just threw your dressing gown on with nothing underneath.

You poured yourself a glass of wine to try and drink away at the heartbreak of losing both your friend and lover, even if he didn't know the latter feeling.

You were a few episodes deep into a random series on Netflix when your phone started ringing. You heart started racing when you saw it was Lando calling you.

You debated answering. You really didn't feel like talking to him right now. But you were also worried. Why was he calling you at 12.30am?

Reluctantly, you picked up.

''Hello?'' you said softly.

The other side of the line stayed silent for a few seconds until you called out his name.

''Lando?''

''Y/n, fuck'' he mumbles more to himself it sounded like. ''I-I'' he sniffled. Was he crying? You though to yourself.

''Lando'' you said firmly but calmly.

''I know I don't even deserve you answering my call after everything I've said and done'' he sniffled again, ''but I could really fucking use my best friend right now.'' he sobbed into his phone.

You were stunned. You didn't know what to even say. Yes you felt for the boy - it was a horrible race - but does he think he can just worm his way back with a few sobs?

''Lando..'''you started.

''Y/n please. Let me see you. I need to see you.''

''Where are you?'' you asked.

''Just landed in Monaco. Can i come over?''

''Ok'' was all you said before ending the call.

By now your mind was spiraling. You didn't know how to act in front of him, let alone what to say to him. A mere few hours ago he was looking at you like he hated you. And now he ''needed his best friend.'' ''Fuck'' you thought to yourself.

Not 15 minutes later and your door bell rang. You took a deep breath before opening it, revealing a devastated Lando. He looked tired, exhausted, sad. He looked so fricking sad and you couldn't help but pull him in and envelope him in a tight hug. You didn't know who needed the hug more - you or him. But it felt good to be in each others' space after weeks of tension and not talking.

You pulled away and walked to sit on the couch, he followed closely behind.

For a few minutes you both kept silent, neither saying anything.

''Lan,'' you started, but he cut you off.

''I'm so fucking sorry. I know saying that doesn't even begin to heal the wounds I've cut but y/n I'm so sorry for everything I've said and how I've treated you since Austria. I hate myself for ever putting our friendship in a position like that. In fact it's the last thing I wanted, but of course I had to go and fuck it up like I seem to be doing everything at the minute.''

You stayed silent, not really knowing how to respond. As much as you wanted everything to go back to normal, you weren't sure your heart could handle heartbreak like that again from him.

When you stayed silent he continued. ''The last thing I wanted was to push you away. It's no secret that we've been getting closer since Ibiza. Yes, you were my friend, first and foremost but you turned into something more along the way. You're the kindest, most passionate, most beautiful woman I know, and instead of showing you or telling you how special you are to me, I shut you out and hurt you. I guess it goes without saying that I like you, y/n. Like really like you.''

''Lan'' you stopped him. By now the tears were streaming down your face, a mix of emotions washing over you. Finally, he was saying the words you so desperately wanted to hear for so long, but you struggled to give forgive him for treating you like shit.

He scooted closer to you and took your hands in his before wiping the tears away.

''I don't get it though. If you like me, why the fuck did you push me away and treat me like that?'' you asked.

''I thought I didn't deserve someone as amazing as you and I sort of made up my mind that it was unfair to have you as mine if I couldn't be home everyday of the year, instead of going to a different place each week, where I know you have a stable job and wouldn't be able to follow me everywhere I go. But fuck that, we'll make it work if we're meant to be. I'll put in the hard work to make us work. If you want me, that is. Please, please forgive me.'' he pleaded.

''Lan I don't think its a secret that I do in fact want you. I've wanted you since fucking forever, but I don't think I'm ready to just jump into something after all that I've gone through the last two weeks. You really fucking hurt me.'' you all but whispered.

He took your face in his hands and pressed his forehead against yours. You could feel his breath on your face, and it took everything in you to not kiss him. ''I know,'' he said. ''But I'll wait for you, however long it takes. I don't want anyone else. Only you y/n.'' He kissed your forehead before you both jumped at the sound of keys and the door opened revealing Max and P.

You quickly separated yourselves and wiped your tears away.

''What the fuck'' Max was shocked to see Lando in his penthouse but he was more shocked to see that you had been crying.

He rushed over to you and glared at Lando.

''Mate why the fuck is y/n crying? What did you do?''

''I--'' Lando started but you cut him off.

''Nothing. It's not Lando.'' you suggested.

''Is there something going on with you two? Lando i thought i made myself fucking clear when i said y/n is off limits'' he shouted.

''Max fucking calm down, and I'm not a baby where you can tell me who I can or can't be with.'' you shouted back at him.

Max glared at Lando again. ''Just fucking get out before i say or do something worse.''

Within seconds Lando was out the front door. You were fuming with Max by now so you too bolted for your room before locking yourself inside.

You climbed into bed and tried to calm your racing mind. Every-time you drifted to sleep you awoke with Lando's words ringing in your ears. ''I really like you y/n'', and you couldn't help but smile to yourself.

AT 2am your phone buzzed and you saw it was Lando who'd texted.

You ok? he asked.

Yeah, I'm sorry about Max, but idgaf about what he says right now you replied.

Why are you still up?

You contemplated what to reply, not wanting to tell him that he was the reason you were obviously still awake because.

Thinking...about things... you vaguely answered.

What...things?

Fucker, you know I'm thinking about you!

Me, huh? you could practically hear the smirk in his text.

And why are you still up..mr norris?

Imagining what it'll feel like to have you next to me in my bed right now....

Fuck, you thought. Lan...

Shit, I know, I know..dw, I'm taking a step back...sorry.

That was it. You threw your covers off and slid into a pair of shorts and an oversized t-shirt, and tip-toed out the front door.

The drive to his house was nerve wrecking. You knew it was too soon to do anything, but your heart, and the ache between your legs were pushing you forward.

Open the door you'd texted as you waited in the cool air of the night.

You heard shuffling and the door flew open. There he stood, clad in only his boxers, eyes wide.

''Y/n'' he said, pulling you inside.

''We have so much to talk about, and I haven't forgiven you yet, but god Lan I've been waiting for this day for too long and i fucking need you.'' you whispered.

He didn't reply verbally. Instead he crashed his lips into yours.

This is so not how you imaged your first kiss to be. But fuck it, it felt incredible to finally feel his lips against yours.

It was messy and sloppy and very quickly turned heated. You moaned into the kiss and Lando took this as an opportunity to slide his tongue into your mouth, memorizing every inch of you.

You ran you hands up and down his torso and eventually to his hair, pulling at his curls.

''You're still wearing too many clothes baby'' he whispered between pecks on your lips.

He very quickly stripped you and was surprised to see you wearing no underwear.

''Fuck me what did I do to deserve you like this'' he mumbled, lips coming down to graze your neck, surely leaving purple bruises for tomorrow. You couldn't form any coherent words, so you just moaned in response.

He scooped you up and carried you upstairs before gently dropping you on his bed and hovering himself above you.

''You sure?'' he asked. As much as he wanted this he needed to be sure you were ready. Nothing would be the same after this.

''Lan you know I've been sure since forever. 1000 times yes. Please'' you squirmed under him.

He kissed you again, gently this time, lovingly.

His kissed moved back to your neck and in no time he found your sweet spot, sucking and biting at it, then shimmying lower down to your boobs. Your nipples were peaked stiff due to the cool air. He kept his eyes on yours as he took one nipple into his mouth and harshly sucked on it, making you a breathless mess under him.

''Óh Lan'' you panted, pulling harder at his curls. He continued his onslaught on both your nipples while massaging you boobs and fondling with them. He took turns to suck, nip, bite and sooth them until they were red and angry.

He could feel you clenching your thighs together so he moved further and spread your legs apart. You should have felt conscious to have him stare at your most intimate parts, but it only turned you on since he looked like he was ready to devour you.

Lando's eyes turned impossibly darker and a sheet of lust hovered over them. He didn't waste any time in leaning down and licking a strip up your cunt. The contact had you pulling at his hair and grunting through gritted teeth. ''Lan'' you shrieked.

''Such a pretty little cunt, all for me'' he whispered, more to himself.

He was ruthless. He found your clit so easily and showed it no mercy. Biting and sucking at it until your body was literally shaking underneath him.

''Lan I'm close'' you managed to say, unsure how much longer you could hold it in.

''Ask'' was all he said.

''What?'' you said, shocked he would demand it but so fucking turned on at the same time.

''You know. Ask'' he said, as he continued his activity.

''Fuck. Can I cum, Lan?'' you asked as politely as you could.

As much as Lando wanted to hear you beg some more, he was getting impossibly eager to feel you around him. So he let you.

''Fuck, cum y/n.''

''Oh Lan'' your juice came gushing out and into Lando's mouth in no time, body shaking uncontrollably, just the thought that it was Lando himself you sent you over the edge over-stimulating your body-and your mind.

He didn't even give you time to recover. He quickly slid to fingers into your cunt, thrusting them in and out at a brutal pace, while his tongue toyed with your clit. Your one hand was now scratching at his muscles on his neck and the other continued pulling at his hair.

''That's it baby, so fuckin tight for me''

In no time you felt the all too familiar warmth in your belly. Lando knew you were close, so before you even asked him, he gave you permission to cum again. And so you did.

As he licked all your cum, he leaned back up and let your cum-and his spit- dangle into your mouth before kissing you senseless.

You could clearly feel the tent in his boxers now, so you pushed him up and got on your knees. You slid his boxers down revealing his god damn huge cock. Red and angry, standing tall, with pre-cum already dripping out the slit at the tip.

You quickly wondered if he'd be able to fit in you. And he must have sensed your worry because he took your chin in his hands and said ''we'll take it a step at a time, ok?'' ''Hmm mm'' was all you could say.

You took him in your hands and started pumping him, fondling with his balls as well, before leaning forward and taking his tip into your mouth, sucking on the pre cum straight away. He hissed at the contact and bent forward to pull your hair into a makeshift ponytail out of your face.

You licked and sucked for a while before taking as much of him in as your could, your hand coming up to pump what you couldn't fit in.

You wouldn't lie - your cheeks were already starting to hurt and there were tears stinging your eyes, but you were on a mission to taste him, so you didn't care.

You deep throated him in no time and the moans he was letting out already had to dripping and desperate to feel him down there.

''Fuck y/n, how are you so good at this. Fuck me'' he moaned.

You pulled away and smiled, ''trust me Lan, I plan to'''you said, before resuming giving him head.

You could tell Lando was close - his legs were becoming like jelly as you held on to them, so you pushed him to sit down and you found a place on the floor between him, pumping him again and taking him into your mouth.

''Where do you want it?'' he asked, barely able to contain himself.

You didn't answer though - just continued with what you were doing and that gave him his answer. He came undone in your mouth. Squirts of hot, milky cum coating you as you swallowed everything you could before pulling off.

You were a right mess now. Spit and cum sliding out the corners of your mouth as Lando pulled you up and kissed you fiercely.

''Best fucking blowjob ever'' he said between kisses. ''That dirty little mouth of yours.''

''Need to feel you in me, please.'' you begged.

''You on birth control baby? Need me to wear a condom?'' he wearily asked.

''Yeah I am, and no you don't. Please just fuck me Lan'' you pleaded.

In no time Lando switched your positions again. He was hovering above you. Dick in hand and gliding it between your folds to lube up with your juices.

You were nervous - scared even. You'd never been with anyone that big before, and Lando, because he can read you so well, knew what you were feeling.

''Baby you'll be fine. We'll take it as slow as you need to. ok? And tell me if you wanna stop at any point.''

''Yeah, thank you Lan'' you said.

He gently pushed his tip in as you both held your breath. It stung for sure, but you were so desperate for him. You nodded at him to continue, and he kissed you as he slid in fully. You just kissed while he stayed station inside of you, allowing you to get used to the intrusion.

''You can move, Lan'' you told him, before he slid out again and thrust back in, setting a slow rhythm. Soon the pleasure started the overtake the pain and you told him it was okay to go faster.

''Please Lan, more, deeper, fuck me harder.'' you moaned as you pulled on his hair.

Then he started. Fucking into you relentlessly. Thrusting his dick in and out of your cunt as if there was no tomorrow.

''Fuck baby, so fucking tight, taking me so well. Fuck'' he slurred, bringing his mouth down to your boobs to suck on your nipples.

Words had long left your brain by now. All you could do was wrap your legs around him as tight as you could, and let out a series of moans and grunts, chasing that intoxicating feeling.

Within minutes your body was shuddering underneath him. It feels as if you've blacked out and are seeing stars, releasing all over his cock.

Lando, being Lando, didn't slow down again. Instead he mans-handled your body and flipped you over so you were now on all fours, holding onto the headboard for dear life.

He thrust back into you. The new position hitting you harder in all the right places.

''Fuck Lan, yes, please, harder, fuck me harder. Oh'' you said between breaths, getting a burst of energy suddenly.

''Babygirl if I fuck you any harder then we'll both be seeing stars.'' you stated, pulling you up by your hair so you were now leaning back on him. His hand snaked its way around your throat.

Feeling him do that turned you on so fucking much. It felt so good to feel like you were his. You were putty in his hands. He could do whatever the fuck he wanted with you and you'd still be happy. Fuck, he's gonna be the death of you.

With no warning you came around his cock again, you were sure it was probably the most intense orgasm you'd ever felt. Your body went limp in his arms so Lando had to lie you down again, and drag you to the edge of the bed so he could stand and finally chase his own release.

''Think you have one more in you baby?'' he asked, movements not slowing down.

''Uh huh'' was all you could form.

This time his pace was unmatched to anything you'd ever felt before.

''Lan, I can't'' you pleaded.

He slowed. ''Want me to stop?'' he asked? He knew what your answer would be, but he wanted to tease you anyways.

''Fuck. no. No'' you exclaimed.

''That's what i thought baby.'' and he set his pace again.

You could feel his movements getting sloppier by the second, and when you opened your eyes his face was contorted in pleasure, pure ecstasy.

He brought his thumb down and started rubbing harshly at your clit. Pinching and pulling at it. This quickly made you cum for...you lost count...you didn't care. It felt fucking amazing.

Lando looked down at where you were joined and seeing your juices spill around his cock and out of your cunt sent him over the edge.

He moaned your name loud and hard as he released his cum in your cunt, sheets and sheets of his milky cum painting your insides.

He slumped his body forward on yours, to kiss you gently. Both of you lacking energy to move to talk, instead just wrapping your arms around each other.

''You're fucking amazing y/n. So amazing.''

''Hmmm Lan, best sex I've ever had. Wow'' you said, still trying to catch your breath.

His dick was softening inside of you so he gently pulled out, making the both of you moan at the loss of contact. He bent down and gathers all the slick that was leaking out of your cunt and bought his mouth to yours, tapping at your cheek to open your mouth. You obeyed and he slowly let the mixture of cum drip into your mouth, before kissing you again. That had your groaning. He pulled back with a smirk. ''Gonna clean you up. Be right back'' he said, kissing your forehead and disappearing into the bathroom.

Once you were all cleaned up Lando pulled you into bed and held you close.

''Thank you for giving me the most incredible end to a shitty day'' he whispered. ''And thank you for giving us a chance. I promise I wont let you down. I really fucking love you y/n, so much.''

Now you had tears threatening to spill. ''I love you too Lan, more than you can imagine.'' you said, kissing the little scar on his nose.

''But please, please, stop being so harsh on yourself after races. You're the most talented person I know and I promise you the best driver on the grid. Don't blame yourself when things don't go your way. There are 1000 other people who are involved in the race outcome, so don't take it upon yourself to blame. You're amazing and so passionate, and you've won before, and I know you'll get so so many more wins. Be patient with yourself, and trust yourself. You are the most amazing person i know.''

Lando cupped your face and kissed you, hard and deep.

''Thank you. I know I'll bounce back, especially that i have you by side now.''

You couldn't help but laugh. ''I've always been on your side, silly!''

''Yeah but now I can kiss you whenever i want. One problem though.''

''Hmm?'' you asked.

''What are we gonna do about Max''?

''Well fuck. But I'm happy now. We'll deal with him another day'' you said, kissing him again.

Authors note - not 100% feeling this one...but please let me know how i can improve and if you guys have any requests then send them through. Also enjoy this picture because HOT DAMN

[foxes-that-run]

2012 Haylor timeline

Timeline Tag, or years 2011

3 - 26 January - Up all Night UK tour dates

3 January - Harry's answer to are you single is inaudible, the band answers for him on Nova, this happens again on the 13th with another station.

4 January - Harry Birmingham

6 January - Harry said to RRMB he has a few days off before his birthday and will spend it at home with his family.

12 January - Taylor seen for first time in the year in Nashville. When asked if they are single Harry said "I'm Harry!! and I'm Hi!... then whispers single". This interview looks to be 12th Jan. After this, Liam starts answering this question for the whole band with variations of "Louis and I have GFs the others are up for grabs" so Harry doesn't have to, that keeps up for most of the year. Recorded 11 Jan

13 January - 1D arrive Glasgow

14 January - one direction cover Kings of Leon Use Somebody in Glasgow, later 23 June Harry says it’s his favourite song. First show after Taylor seen in NY about being lonely and missing your lover on the road.

? January - Scott Borchetta said he thought the album (Red) was done in January "During Speak Now, when I went to (label head) Scott Borchetta and said, 'The album's finished,' he said, 'No, it's not -- you need to keep writing.' With Red, he came to me in January and said, 'I think the album's finished.' This time, I said, 'No, it's not -- I need to keep writing." Taylor is encouraged to work with other producers and hires Max Martin.

20 January - Taylor at Sundance in Utah with Ethel Kennedy at Ethel's invitation. Taylor's Vogue cover, KK Your kitchen or mine tweet. Not seen for 3 days then in London. 1D Kings Cross Station

21 - 26 January - Taylor "holidays" in London, first seen 23rd hotel no engagements, she she had spend months there the last year. Papped walking alone in the Zoo and with Swans at the Princess Diana memorial on days One Direction had shows. Papped alone in London, 26 January in London. Zayn says to Mark Michaels Show that they have a week off after LA.

24 January - 1D Dublin

22-26 January One Direction UK shows.

27 January - One Direction leave London for LA to film iCarly.  Taylor also returns LA on the same day. Harry tweets that he 'didn't dump' Caroline, he never said they were more than friends. Niall says Harry was playing guitar (9)

28 January - One Direction LA photoshoot

29 January - 1D hotel LA

30 January - 1D six flags, then by hotel pool,

31 January - photoshoot Santa Monica

1 February - One direction seen at LA Airport on Harry's 18th Birthday. Harry gets first tattoo (star) Taylor in LA. Whole band at Tesco on 2nd, wearing the same clothes as LAX.

1 - 7 February - Taylor MIA for a week. Band have the week off, Louis seen with Eleanor, Niall at BBC, but Harry MIA. To RMBD Harry say they are all virgins, they laugh. He says honestly. Louis says he went to Ibiza for a night on a break “2 weeks ago”.

7 February - Taylor first seen in LA., Harry Manchester nightclub

9 February - Harry celebrates his birthday with his parents in London, a week after they were at LAX.

12 February - Taylor performs Mean at Grammy's in LA and sings "One day I'll be singing this at the Grammy's"

13 February - 1D Sweden, 14 Paris & London, 18 London.

February - Taylor writes Holy Ground and works with Jeff Bhasker, because she likes what he did with Fun (Jack) Jeff is later one of Harry’s main solo collaborators.

20 February - 1D on Eurostar train from part before Brit awards, Harry tweets photos of the band sleeping 

22, 23 February - Harry London, leaving Nick G's flat, heathrow

24 February - 10 March: One Direction supported Big Time Rush in their US dates. Reports parts of the crowd left when 1D finished. Harry sheepishly agrees with the Edge NZ that he's available to Kiwi girls when they come there soon. 🤦‍♂️

25 February - reports Harry moved out of 1D flat, soon on market

26 February - One Direction in Toronto. On 17 August 2022 Harry told a crowd (2.30) he met Jeff Azoff in Toronto 2012, likely around this show.

8 March - One Direction NY, 26 - Canada, 28 - LA

2 - 18 March - Speak Now, last tour dates in Australia and NZ.

17 March - Taylor plays Eyes Open 3 days early in Auckland. She releases the re-record on 17 March 2023.

2 March - Lover Journal March 2, 2012, Perth, says she wrote "nothing new" on the plane, mentions 'a case of you' and getting older, Knowing everything at 18 and nothing at 22. (she was 22, Harry was 18)

8 March 1D asked in Nashville if their sad TS not there. The 4 other boys all turn their heads sharply when they hear her name and Harry who jokingly hits his knee. They clearly had not only met, but the band knew Harry and Taylor were connected.

12 March - One Direction on Today show, 1D have week off in NYC

19 March - Taylor back in LA from Australia

20 March - WMYB goes #1 in US, first UK group to do so. Liam, Niall and Harry in NY, go to NY Nick's game. Louis with Eleanor. Harry later says was returning a rental bike when he heard #1.

24 - 27 March - 1D in Dallas, Montreal, appearances interviews

29 March - One Direction arrive in LA for KCA

29-30 March - Kids Choice Award Rehearsals, Zayn tweets "If the love is real it will rise above all else ! :) x"

31 March - first seen same place at Kids Choice Awards. A source close to Taylor later said to Vanity Fair he had chased her for a year, that would indicate they met in London in March 2011.

2 April - Lunch in LA, 4 LA

4 April - Morgan Spurlock tweets photo of harry in bed in Ben's Attic while filming This is Us

8 April - Taylor and One Direction stay at the Bowery Hotel in NYC. Harry and Taylor seen at a museum. Harry's high school best friend talked about him dreaming of Taylor.

11 April - one direction is asked who will leave the band first. (3:38) Louis says Adam. The interviewer thinks they are being silly, I think they are speaking in code, Zayn looks annoyed, they’ve called Harry Susan (Boyle) since the dolls, is Adam (Lambert - Zayn?) Liam adds Andrew (Garfield - Louis?) or David (Beckham - Liam?) after, Louis adds or Susan Boyle (Harry). Later interviews have lines of “no one will leave” & “we’re stronger together” they also have names that rhyme with their names Harry/Barry, Zayn/Wayne (in Liam Logan Paul podcast 33) It’s an example the boys were salty with each other in interviews.

12 April - Harry asked if has been texting Taylor in Australia and is unprepared. He is taken aback and pauses before saying “we met in America and she’s very nice” (1:27)

13 April - Taylor writes 'Come back... be here' and Message in a Bottle.

13 - 22 April Up All Night Australia and NZ dates

23 April - Harry pictured kissing a girl in New Zealand, Taylor instagram story with infidelities song. Harry said in a NZ interview his fatal flaw was girls (11 mins).

23 April - Taylor wrote with Max Martin and Shellback. Max Martin discusses their first meeting in this interview (52:30 Mins) "Our first day was in Conway Studios. I was quite nervous, quite nervous. A guy from Maroon 5 shows up…" He tells the story about WANGBT. Trouble started as a sad piano ballad, in the Red Listening party it was started 'almost 6 months before'.

24 April - Harry back at Heathrow,

21-25 April Taylor wrote treacherous making Red. Then 24 April we are never getting back together. Taylor writes Babe. Honestly writing these songs if they met 3 weeks earlier would be unhinged.

27 April - Harry buys a £100k Audi A8. 28 Lunch with friend, 30 in Holmes Chapel

1 May - Harry back to LA, 9 Harry at Studio in London

May - Harry seen with Emily Atack in the UK (But I can't find a date?) the break up was announced a few days after Harry go to the US. In 2013 she confirmed they had a brief non BF/GF fling

20 May - Harry arrives LA, disappears, reemerges on 27th. Everything has changed and Run is written with Ed, Hi and A tattoo's. I love you by Alex and Sierra hints it was 20th. "Can I stay Tattoo" He was later asked about the A and said "Oh.. it's for me mum" and Louis shouts "no it's not! It's for a mystery blonde". Again unhinged behavior if they met 5 weeks earlier.

22 May - 1 July - Up all night US Tour dates

29 May - Everything has changed recorded with Ed, Gary light body has backing vocals. both Harry and Taylor then wrote Gary Lightbody, This is the Last time (Taylor) and Something Great (Harry) and an unreleased collaboration between them.

6 June Taylor says to New Orleans Magazine: “These days, I’ve been trying to classify my thoughts into two categories: “Things I can change” and “Things I can’t.” It seems to help me sort through what to really stress about. But there I go again, over-planning and over-organizing my over-thinking!

10 June -June 10, 2012, LA Lover Journal 'Trouble' & 22. Corporate event refers to Walmart, it’s the interview where a guy jokes about not knowing who she is. Taylor writes about loving song writing, and "God I've been having such a beautiful life lately. I can't believe it. It's like there's magic in the air". She said she had Friday off, went hiking and planned 'our' trip for 4th July.

12 June - Harry told YRV he was listening to the Fun Album (Jack Antonoff)

15 June -  Won't stop till we surrender Tattoo on anniversary of Taylor having the arm lyrics, the St Paul show Harry was Mia in a break for, remeeting up with the band in LA. Taylor had a lover journal that date. Something so unexpected and amazing happened recently... I’ve become blissfully happy with my life.

16 June - the Ex'pression Session, (21:30) a fan suggested Ed propose to Harry, Ed responded "Nah, he's taken", someone joked 'by Lous' and Ed laughed innit. Ed had just written everything has changed and Run with Taylor about Harry, he was well aware of Harry and Taylor's relationship. 1D at six flags

17 June - 1D and Taylor in California. Someone tweets Taylor saying they saw her getting froyo.

18 - 21 June - Neither Harry or Taylor seen, Liam and Niall do a twitcam, Louis seen with Eleanor in LA, Zayn seen leaving LA at airport. Liam later says 1D had a week off to record and played Simon the album. After this Harry kissed the heart area of his arm, cried in a radio station after the band said he is unlucky in love and Taylor dated Connor.

22 June - Harry says in an interview that every day they perform every day and fly at night. Coughing and wearing paper plane. Record Radio Disney when Harry kisses arm where Heart will be

23 June - One Direction in Dallas, interview where The band say Harry is the best wing man and has the least skills with ladies, Harry set Eleanor and Louis up. Harry wipes his eye. Liam calls him a lonely old man and Harry looks sad. Harry is over the interview and at first doesn’t answer then says “I want” is his favorite song on the album (about a girl who wants material things but he wants love) and that Use somebody by Kings of Leon is his favorite by other artists (about wanting someone to cuddle on tour) On the same day there is an interview where he moves to the heart tattoo area when a fan asks about a wild theory about beanie wearing.

26 June - Liam says they just had a week off touring to record Take Me Home and that SC had just heard it. He said they did not have much longer to record it. Louis also says it in interviews. 1D Bert Show interview where Harry says he dropped someone off when he got his license. On the same day Harry appears to be crying, in Atlanta.

1 July - end of 1D Up all night Tour, One Direction return to UK

3 July - Harry heathrow (returning)

4-8 July - Taylor meets Connor at 4th July party (CK Timeline)

9 July - Harry seen with Caggie Dunlop in London

13 July - (13+7) Taylor played 7 songs from her new album including We are Never Getting Back Together in London 'playback event'. Harry was seen in Holmes Chapel the day after, neither seen for 5 days before.

15, 16 July - Harry Holmes Chapel, 18 Sony London

25  July - Taylor and Connor have pizza, Harry golf Olly Murs, London nightclub.

27 July - "I Can't Change" Tattoo

28 July - Harry seen with Una Healy at a wedding

28 - 30 July - Taylor and Connor go sailing

31 July - 1D in recording studio in London

1 August - Harry buys Hampstead Health House. Niall told an interviewer they has spend 4-5 weeks recording flat out then have 10 days off, Harry spends them in London house hunting.

4 - 31 August - Harry London, 8th in Studio with Ed, 25 filmed live while young

12 August - 1D play Olympics closing ceremony London, Taylor and Connor Cape Cod.

13 August - Taylor bought Hyannis Port house, seen w/Connor

14 August - Taylor google plus hangout for red where she unveiled the cover. Said she was working on Red hidden messages now. Premiers WANGBT and jokes it’s a love song to her ex-boyfriend. Harry gets a childhood tattoo and a personal  (17 Black artist, Kevin Black, described him as having a sadness about him and referred to lou Teasdale and her BF and said he had 'a bit of a bad vibe' from them) and the padlock (Ed) Talk of half sleeve.

16 - 18 August - Connor and Taylor in Nashville.

17 August - Taylor kissed Connor, cape cod

18 August - Taylor asked to leave Connors aunt's wedding, Taylor later said it was a misunderstanding to Rolling Stone.

19 August - Taylor visited Connors mums grave with him and played volleyball. Not seen with Connor again.

20 August - Harry seen at Radio 1 to talk about the BBC Teen Awards with Nick Grimshaw. Harry hadn't been seen for 5 days and told a story about driving to London the day before.

21 August - Harry's friend Tom Atkin (Lou Teasdale's boyfriend) did the Never Gonna Dance tattoo on Harry's leg. A photo of him doing it was run in the Mirror.

23 August - 1D film Live While We're Young, 17 Black and the birdcage can be seen. Harry keeps ankles covered.

"Late August" - Taylor does the Rolling Stone cover interview for October where she crashes her car twice and shows the interviewer her Nashville Apartment with Koi Pond, birdcage and Wonderland vibes.

31 August - Harry leaves Nick Grimshaw radio show late at night in London then disappears till LA on the 4th. Taylors Rolling Stone shoot in NY, jacket is later in the London scene of End Game MV.

3 September - Taylor in LA

4 September - 1D at VMA rehearsals also LA.

5 September - Harry and Taylor hang out at VMAs rehearsals and get sushi in group.

6 September  - Harry smiles introducing her song on VMAs, Zayn whispers 'Taylor Swift' in Harry's ear when asked celebrity crush.

8 September - Gemma's name in Hebrew in LA

9 September - Birdcage, drama mask and SMCL tattoo

12 September - Harry sings Never gonna dance again with Grimmy on his last night show and is really shy and doesn’t sing, Grimmy says “you have the lyrics to this song tattooed on your body you choose it”

15 September - Harry, Niall, Louis and Eleanor at James Corden's wedding in Leeds

17 September - Harry at London fashion week . Louis On Twitter: “Hows this , Larry is the biggest load of bullshit I've ever heard. I'm happy why can't you accept that.”

21 September - Taylor in Las Vegas for iHeartRadio then MIA till London 28th, 1D in London

23 September - audio of 'Zayn' giving girls instructions to hotel room and being impatient, uses Harry's name.

24 September - Harry tells Nick Grimshaw first of 3 days filming tour screens on Grimmy first morning show. Neither love or heart tattoo in the tour screens.

25 September - Harry gets Love Banner Tattoo (covered by the left sparrow in Nov). Presumed Heart also. and is in the IKYWT video. It’s not in the tour screens but is in the chart show interview.

26 September Harry's heart tattoo can be seen, either not filled or still healing. Seen in lots of interviews. Niall told Grimmy they has a press day this day. Also seen in Entertainment on demand that day too (first date they use it is 27th).

28 September - 1D in pre-taped interview chatty man then HS MIA. Taylor Marie Claire UK November shoot video in Nashville mia previous 6 days. Friday night, the rest of the band posts (Louis with Eleanor) and seen on weekend, but HS & TS silent and MIA.

29 September - Taylor has a sony all access fan event to talk about WANGBT in Nashville

30 September - Taylor films Begin Again MV in Paris. Harry posts Paris photo a week later, but he is in Ireland when posted.

1 October - Harry LA restaurant with Ed

5 October - Taylor and Harry in London for BBC1, Harry tweets about paper airplanes. Taylor wearing Harry's shirt. Both appear on Nick Grimshaw (28m) Nick asks Harry if he’d met Taylor then says old swiftie about 13 times and plays a bit of her interview. Harry choose Paris as the last track. Taylor tells Jonathan Ross she has a good looking boyfriend. Harry plays wangbt on radio

7 October - both Harry and Taylor at kids choice awards London. Taylor plays Red live for the first time, rather than any of Red's singles (WANGBT and Begin Again were new, IKYWT was the next single)

9 October - Sugarscope report Taylor invited member of 1D to dinner and cancelled when when leaked “"Taylor’s team whisked her off to Luton after the awards," a source told The Sun. "She had a private jet at Luton Airport ready to take her back to the US at 10pm. All her staff were told she was having a private dinner with one of the guys from One Direction. “It was all cancelled abruptly, and nothing more was said.””

12 October - H Ireland filming Late Late asked if TS asked them to dinner and they said 'you take this Harry', also said he also said he got things I change tattoos. Harry got Things I can / things I can't tattoo's, later covered Can with bible (Jan 14) and Can't with Eagle (Dec 15). Drama because 1D media list of banned questions immediately before Zayn interview. Interviewer ends interview immediately and airs it.

13 October -they go to Ed’s show in London.  Ed shares a tour diary on 1 Jan with a video of him laughing with Harry at (1:20) (they are referencing this Australian Project Interview, which is talking about Australian Sunrise.) Taylor can be heard laughing off screen. Ed got Red tattoo in the video also.

14 October - Taylor performs on X-factor UK

15 October - Taylor back in LA. Little Things MV shot 15-16 Oct, Kiss You is also directed by Vaughan Arnell and likely shot this week with Harry's heart and love banner tattoos. Kiss You filmed at Elstree Studios in North London, Little thing studio unknown. Harry at Ed's show

17 October - October 17, 2012, LA Lover Journal - This Love Lyrics, also performed Eyes Open at VH1 Storytellers event. Harry posts pink and blue heart tattoo photo, LDN, NY & LA tattoos. Harry lists Taylor as celebrity crush to seventeen

18 October - One Direction in London Studio.

19 October - Video on Taylor talking in Speak Now "I don't care if you have tattoos, I don't care if you have a dic-a gap between your teeth'?

22 October - Red released, official Connor BUA. Taylor on CityTV in Canada, the interviewer comments on Justin Bieber's tattoos in a leading way which Taylor avoids. Asked again about fans getting tattoos and says tattoos are a huge commitment 3 times (11:30).

25 October - Taylor says her favourite love song is Sweet Disposition which Harry had tattooed on the arm lyric anniversary and that Love Actually is her favourite film that makes her feel better and Taylor shyly says "there's this movie called about last night that Demi Moore and Rob Lowe back in the 80s and they like get back together, they break up and they spend all this time apart and then the end they get back together cuz they were really good together oh so I don't know I like that idea" and blushes.

Rolling Stone from earlier in year goes to print "Taylor in Wonderland" "She’s uncomfortable discussing a line from her new album – “I’ll do anything you say if you say it with your hands” – that seems to break new ground. “I don’t know if I’m interested in writing about, um, blatantly sexual things out of the context of how it affects a relationship,” she says, then pauses. “Oh, I should just totally say that Dan thought of it,” she adds, meaning co-writer Dan Wilson. “I could get myself off the hook so quick!" Swift loves the idea of long relationships, though she’s never really had one. “It usually lasts four and a half months, and then it all just disintegrates. Then I spend, like, a year and a half mourning the loss of it.”

31 October - Harry seen in London wearing Paper Plane

3 November - Harry Paris

4 November Harry says to cosmopolitan he’s seeing someone who is ambitious and it’s difficult if the papers picture him with someone

6 November - Taylor arrives in London no paper plane. Harry tweeted if I could fly 6 November 2015.

7 November - Both perform at Radio 1 Teen Choice Awards. Taylor wears Paper plane.

10 November - Taylor in Paris says her favorite song today is treacherous because love can be really dangerous but it’s worth it.

12 November - wearing airplane necklaces, Harry flys separate to 1D to see Taylor and watches her X-factor rehearsal. Taylor met Jack Antonoff. Harry got Swallow Tattoos to cover love banner & showed on Ellen.

14 November harry writes something great with jackknife lee

15 November - Taylor performs X-Factor US and Harry watches and carries her over his shoulder.

17 and 18 November - I knew you were trouble MV filmed in California (love already covered)

2 December - Central Park

3 December - 1D MSG, Dancing in NY no shoes

5 December - Harry shot Teenage dirtbag video NYC.

6 December - Taylor leaving trump hotel where 1D staying

7 December - Jingle Ball, Taylor kisses Harry before going on stage, he dances and hugs her dad. He fly's in her plane to London not with 1D. Photos of her feet with his mum.

9 December - both return to London on Taylor's private jet. 1D Jingle Ball. Harry and Taylor holiday in the UK together until December 15th when Taylor leaves for France.

10 December - Video of them kissing backstage at Z100 Jingle Bell Ball. Pap video with all the 1D boys and Gfs that ends with 5 Haylor coming/going from hotels. Olly Murs calls Taylor “Harry’s Missus” in marry kiss kill

? December - Halsey posts "That Haylor Song" on Tumblr which went viral, it mocks I Knew You Were Trouble

12 December - they go to the Lakes District for her birthday

18 December - Taylor goes with Harry to get ship Tattoo. He is seen with Andrea and Taylor at their LA house

21 December - Ski trip, snowmobile accident

26 December - article Harry sent Taylor a singagram of a country version of WMYB for Christmas

30 December - Keep Driving: "Passports in Footwells" Harry leaves his passport in his mum's car and misses his flight to NY for:

31 December - NYE Kiss, insane crowd, kiss in lift of hotel

Continue to 2013

[richaldis]

So, I'm going to start by saying I have nothing but contempt for whoever stole these photos. BC has no public personal social media and until I see evidence that these pics were made public specifically by him or his reps then I assume they were stolen from a personal instagram (?) by either the haters or someone who thinks they are a fan but shouldn't be because they have no respect for privacy.

Lets see though. Ibiza is Spain. Gator seems to think it's some kind of luxury enclave rather than where thousands of Brits go for cheap hols every year. But, we don't know where the pics were taken just that it's Spain.

For supposed experts in English weddings the haters are pretty clueless. You do the legal stuff at home then, if you want to guarantee good weather in September, (and you probably needed to book and plan this a year in advance) you go somewhere else - either somewhere with significance to you or somewhere hot like the Maldives. Spain is a good choice because it's cheap for your guests to get there if you want a family wedding - flights for under £50 a lot of the time.

And since we don't know what day this was it could have been any day of the week. Saturdays are most popular with Brits but Fridays are the next most popular especially for ceremonies abroad because you can party until the Saturday and not have to fly until late on Sunday(hopefully when your hangover had abated). Your guests can be back at work on Monday.

[softspiderling]

I love that almost everyone has come to the conclusion that Harry is a hot and expensive slutty Ibiza DJ ahahahahaha But seriously, I'm happy for him. Obviously the industry has changed since the covid and the strike. And being actors wasn't easy before, given the competition etc, but it's even harder now. And Harry himself said that he sat at home for almost 2(3) years without a job and I think for any creative person that's hard. And it's so great that he didn't go off on his own or get depressed and decided to develop in a different direction and really found a passion for it. Honestly, I don't understand this music at all, but apparently this is the kind of thing the Brits love in Ibiza as well, lol I'd like to see him continue to pursue acting, but I wouldn't be surprised if it's not a priority anymore. After all he's only 20 years old. He's young, rich, famous and just living his best life. Maybe his hobbies will change in 5 years, but right now it's what he enjoys and that's great.

we have come to the conclusion because harry led us to it😭

yes but i agree with everything you’re saying. it’s cool that he found a passion in something besides acting (like emma doing theater), even if it is arguably one of the sluttiest thing a man could do HAHAH

[its-moopoint]

From BCR:

Anon: "And I love that shippers were last to know. Or they knew and didn't want their “friends” to know to keep up their fanfic. I'm leaning more towards the mercy of not giving them another good slap of reality with data that is publicly available if you bother to look for it. Just when you think they can't be any stupider, they take the next step🧻"

BCR: "Well yes, they basically deserve the umpteenth slap in the face. If all those flipflops would bother to check PUBLIC documents and add 2+2 before looking like idiots who need a Sesame Street to understand that it is a situation that is not what they want and leaves their idol in a very bad place cuban heels that we are going to make. Birds of a feather flock together... 💩"

BCR is the one using Google translator to get a literal word for word meaning of simple English and therefore must need "help" from a fellow Brit or American or Australian "friend" of hers to "point" her in the "right direction" and "understand" what's being said when there are idioms, figures of speech or legal terms?

You mean the one who in spite of living in Spain and having the Spanish regulations to check in Spanish is unable to understand that there could never have been a registered legal and binding SC wedding in Ibiza because neither of them fit the legal requirements?

You mean the one who after Tait's wedding claimed she wouldn't believe until there was legal proof and once SEVERAL different copies of marriage certificate came out stated that a paper doesn't mean anything and that Tait may be married but for show?

You mean she's claiming people can't read OFFICIAL documents registered for companies, purchases, permits, etc and find out who they belong to when there are names??

[bisluthq]

TIL that there’s a painkiller in Spain that apparently kills British people as well

idk what to even Google to find out about this lol and I have a lot of questions: 1) like is the painkiller taking out Brits specifically and Spaniards are okay? Is this like a smallpox blanket situation but instead of targeting native people in a genocide they’re targeting really annoying retirees and Chavs who wanna party in Ibiza? 2) is it killing Spanish people too and they’re exporting that? That doesn’t seem safe - they should stop doing that. 3) I didn’t know Spain makes much medicine lol y they not buy from like Austria like the rest of us??

[melomaniac2000]

youth is only ever fun in retrospect (circa 2016)

"I fell in love with the band whole heartedly when lead singer Oscar Pollock, mid set during 'Flame', was chased around by a bee."

Growing up around parents with a good taste in music is a blessing and a curse. From a young age I was around bands like Arctic Monkeys, Bowie, Oasis & Stone Roses just to name a few and it meant I was always destined for a life diverted from the straight and narrow. Never the less due to this by the time I was 16 I was begging to find something. My mind was numb with indie riffs whose magic had worn off.

I had just come out of the war of early 2010's which, as I'm sure some will remember, was a pop culture abyss of jeggings, GEEK across every top, Tumblr (as its best) and a slew of dance pop with artists like Lady Gaga, One Direction and Carly Rea Jepsen, smothering the world with an brits in Ibiza vibe.

Now, before you start, I am no snob. I indulged in all of what I have just listed with great delight before I entered the dreaded emo phase. Depression is a fucker and I treat it with all the emo greats but as I started growing up and finding a decent group of mates, (who I will describe as a BTEC skins cast dressed in Levi's and DM's) I started to look for something a little lighter and rekindled my love for Indie.

Being from Leeds the eponymic festival was the event of the year and the line up was immense. Packed full with Indie Rock knockouts. The 1975 was Headlining the NME stage to put it into perspective and this bank holiday weekend for me and my friends was the epitome of music coinciding with the life we were living.

Main stage a Leeds Fest 2016 was the first time I heard the up and coming band Sundara Karma's first album "Youth Is Only Ever Fun In Retrospect". In hindsight now being 23 I cant describe it any other way as glorious adolescence and at the time it was exactly what I was looking for. I fell in love with the band whole heartedly when lead singer Oscar Pollock, mid set during 'Flame', was chased around by a bee. Music aside the whole set was just a welcome mat for the new indie boom to say were here for a good time who knows if its a long time, get in the pit.

Here I will be talking about the albums I love and the experiences I have had with them. I don't really care if anyone reads them. This is just a bored diary of a nostalgic brain.

[lassieposting]

HORF oh my god, the last part makes me think of a Russell Howard comedy bit from several years ago, about how Boozy Brits Abroad™ were getting so obnoxious and out of control that British police officers were being shipped out to common tourist destinations like Tenerife and Ibiza to deal with them. Because like. Humans are, generally, hilariously appalling drunks - I have a fond headcanon that part of the reason C-Sec started hiring humans is to deal with drunk humans. Garrus would have A Lot of stories.

Like. His first C-Sec posting was to the Presidium, where it's nice and classy and he's there mostly for show and to occasionally move along the odd diplomat who's had one expensive cocktail too many and is making a bit of a fool of themselves, so when he gets reassigned to one of the Wards, he is Not Prepared.

It's not the red sand dealers or the would-be mobsters that bother him - he's aware of those. What he's not expecting is the drunks. It's the drunks of certain species - okay, fine, it's the humans, its not xenophobic if it's true - who seem to lose all functioning brain cells, motor skills and dignity on a night out.

He's dealt with the dreaded human "hen party" - waded into a throng of bleary-eyed and partially-dressed human females who kept trying to steal his handcuffs or grab Chellick's ass, shrieking like a pack of varrens in heat as they're awkwardly shooed out of Chora's Den and into a cop car.

He's had to submit reports for people he's arrested that are just. Ridiculous. Like, "Middle-aged human male seen attempting to flirt with Avina terminal outside Flux. Later spotted storming away from Avina terminal shouting, "You're all the same!" before punching an officer and being sick in the street."

He's seen humans do so many stupid things as a Citadel cop. Like this. And this. He's been shouted at, hit, hit on, called plenty of things his translator didn't parse. He's had humans vomit in the back seat of his cruiser and then try to flirt with him anyway more times than you can count.

So no, Shepard, he doesn't really understand why you want him to keep the C-Sec uniform so badly. He does not miss being a beat cop at all. And actually - if you want to be "interrogated" so badly, why does your species always want to put traffic cones on statues after a night of vodka and bad choices?

Now me, I think Garrus Vakarian could be sexually dominant if his partner wanted him to. I don’t think he’d enjoy it as much as taking orders, but I think he’d be fine with doing it now and then as a favour. as long as he didn’t have to take it seriously

(but asking an actual cop for Sexy Cop Roleplay sounds like asking an actual nurse to play Sexy Nurse. I think waving handcuffs at him and saying “arrest me!” would get you a weird look and some stories about that time he was fishing drunk clubgoers out of gutters and one of them grabbed his crotch and vomited all over him AT THE SAME TIME)

[momo-de-avis]

Algarve is to brits what Ibiza is to tugas

caught on 4k 😔

[calvin-af-crone]

SHOCK/Denial

I'm in denial. The Daily Mail is full of lies.

Calvin Harris has reportedly split from his girlfriend Aarika Wolf after four years. The DJ, 38, allegedly experienced strain in his relationship with the model, 27, due to his regular trips away from their US home to his Ibiza farm. A source told The Sun of their 'amicable' separation: 'Calvin wanted to spend more time away from the US, including on his farm in Ibiza, but Aarika is based in the States.

This is the fucking Daily Mail after all. Why should we believe them? And we know for certain, Ibiza was not the cause of their split. Aarika was there in the new villa having a visit w/ Laura on 24-26 February while Adam was in LA. She loved it there [LINK] & she's the one who speaks Spanish. So obviously, Ibiza was NOT the cause of the split...if it's true.

HOWEVER...

Just a couple of days ago, MACB noticed Aarika fiddling w/ her accounts on IG. On her public account, she deleted the photos of them at the Brit Awards, which was an ominous sign. She also made changes to Boris' account, changing profile photos & adding accounts to follow. I'm glad to say that if they have split, this indicates she got custody of Boris AND hopefully Gregg! If the man can't sustain a relationship, he can't be trusted w/ pets.

If this is true, I hope she got a significant pay-off, enough to support her for the rest of her life in an affordable place like Fargo. Maybe he's selling the LA compound because he owes her $25 million! She gave up her career for him. She said good-bye to all her friends in LA & moved to Ibiza for him. She has never said a derogatory word about him in all these years.

WHAT THE FUCK!

Now we wait to see if the paps catch him on a date w/ someone new. I won't fully believe it w/o photographic evidence or a direct statement from Adam or Aarika. In the meantime, I'm sure my anons will have theories about the real reason for their split. Fucking hell, I just got followed by a bunch of Swifties. Go ahead, witness my tears. I don't care what you think.

I LOVE Aarika! Dammit!

Now I'm thinking about how weird it is that Elon Musk & Grimes announced they broke up but now have a second child together. Could this be some kind of fake out?

[musicallisto]

7, 11, 16??

7. three words from your native language that you like the most?

already answered here for Spanish, but to summarize: alba (dawn), tétrico (sullen, gloomy, dismal), ahorcado (hanged man (lit.), heavily burdened). also that thing poets do when they feminize the sea (el mar becomes la mar just for the hell of it). and every word that comes from Arabic is super cool too. and swear words of course <3

as for French, aurore (dawn), asphyxier (I promise I'm doing good mentally assjqbjsj), retrouvailles (the joy that comes with a long overdue reunion). there's a shit ton more but I can't think of them rn, I'd have to scour my writing for words I unconsciously use more than others!

11. favorite native author/poet?

already answered here, but to make it short (and god knows I need to make it short for French, lol, I Have Thoughts about classic French literature): Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Victor Hugo, and Albert Camus for French; and I don't read nearly enough Spanish literature but Federico García Lorca & Antonio Machado are always a safe bet (as is the entire 98 generation); also Joaquin Sabina and Víctor Manuel for more contemporary singer-songwriters/poets. if I can leave the realm of Spain and expand to Latin America, then Gabriel García Márquez is a legend.

16. which stereotype about your country you hate the most and which one you somewhat agree with?

for France: it's not so much a stereotype and more the way foreigners look at France, but the way it's so romanticized, especially Paris. media like Emily in Paris, aside from being borderline offensive with how monstrously cringe it is, really highlights how foreigners and tourists think of Paris/France as an amusement park for their own consumption, with little to no regard for the actual people living there. I can't open Instagram without seeing an aesthetic reel of some girl walking around Montmartre like she's the ~main character~ and thousands of people in the comments foaming at the mouth at the place and like. yes! Paris is beautiful! I'm so happy people love my hometown and want to live their main character moment there! but sometimes people lowkey forget Paris, or the French Riviera, are not Universal Studios. I wish they'd dig deeper beneath the surface of the light academia rich, thin, white Parisienne aesthetic. which leads me to the stereotype I do agree with: we (Parisians) are ruder and disagreeable than most Europeans, and we (French) complain and grouse a lot. about everything. we're generally in a bad mood compared to Americans' chipper attitude. sometimes I wish we were more like that, or more like the South. more relaxed and welcoming.

for Spain: once again it's more the perception of Spain as a whole by foreigners (especially Northern Europeans) but I really do hate how Spain is reduced to like, Benidorm, Marbella, and Ibiza, and seen as, once again, this enormous amusement park of sun and beaches and cheap alcohol and nightclubs. people associate Spain with doing nothing and getting wasted, when it's one of the most diverse (culturally, geographically...) countries in Europe. at least we get to make fun of Brits when they break a leg doing balconing. and a stereotype that I agree with is that we are, indeed, more relaxed than the rest. Even in Madrid, honestly! like you'll see stores closing at random hours because it's la hora de la siesta, people are more prone to talking to strangers (on public transportation!!!!! what the fuck!!!!!), and yes we are extremely fucking loud.

[justmythots8]

Privilege

That little word is everything Meghan Markle embodies. It’s everything that she desires, and it’s everything that she has.

So to say that I was taken aback when I heard Meghan publicly claim that “Its been hard”, and “I have only been existing, not living”, taking a quote straight from Piers Morgan, “I’m sorry, WHAT”?

If the royal lifestyle & all that that includes is not enough for this our dear duchess, what is? What is it that Meghan Markle wants that she doesn’t have, or isn’t getting?

That is when I thought long & hard about what her intentions really were for making this documentary. At first, I wrote it off as Meghan being Meghan, trying to manipulate the masses into liking her, trying to turn the tide & make us believe everything said about her in the press are all lies and boo-hoo, poor her.

But when, I saw the article blogged by the Charlatan Duchess right here on Tumblr, an actual newspaper is reporting that Meghan’s friends told her not to marry Harry, allegedly, because the tabloids are brutal... she also claimed that the press has “Destroyed her life”.

Again, “I’m sorry, WHAT”?

According to Meghan, she doesn’t read the tabloids, or go on social media, so theoretically, how does she even know what’s being said about her? And even if she did read the tabloids, why does she care? She hasn’t thus far.

I’m sure the thick, sound-proof, renovated walls of Frogmore Cottage are enough to cancel out all that “noise”. Surely the criticism isn’t stopping her from indulging in her lavish, luxurious lifestyle. Clearly, the criticism isnt a deal-breaker for her.

At this point, I put on my tin foil hat & got to thinkin’.... I recalled the South African Safari, and how Harry went on to another country for the landmine campaign, while Meghan stayed behind with Archie. At the time, we all questioned it; “Why wasn’t Meghan attending this campaign with Harry”? With no real answer, we moved on to bigger things.

This was a very rogue “documentary”, that was done on the fringe. The palace certainly hadn’t known about it, let alone approve of it. But how could that be, I asked myself? Wouldn’t the Palace know everything that these two had going on? Especially after shit hit the fan with that South Africa tour?

Wouldn’t the palace keep them heavily surveilled? After H&M’s grand finale in SA, and announcing that he & Meghan were suing the press, wouldn’t the Palace be sleeping with one eye open?

As memory serves, these two couldn’t care less about the public’s perception of them. So then why is it that they hired a crisis PR firm, created this fringe documentary, and are suddenly interested in changing the public’s perception of them?

It’s almost as if H&M have been cut off & kicked to the castles curb, and this documentary is them throwing a tantrum because they’re not getting their way.

Afterall, this documentary broke so many royal protocols, I can’t imagine the Queen could even come up with a half-way decent, legitimate excuse for their behavior anymore. It’s over for H & M.

You cannot insult the entire British public with your hypocritical demands for climate change reform, gender equality & go on landmine PR stunts & then turn around and bitch about the criticism you’re receiving because of the mess you’ve created. It has all been self-inflicted.

So it makes sense to me that this would be exactly the way H&M acted if they were “excommunicated” from the royal family. At some point, even Harry’s own father & brother have to consider the disadvantages of keeping the Sussex’s around, because at this point, I can’t think of many benefits.

Then, like clockwork, we were all informed that H&M were taking a “sabbatical”.....LOL okay. Because a weeks’ worth of Royal duties is so demanding, that it requires a 6 week paid vacation.

Need I remind everyone that just prior to the African Safari, H & M had taken not one, not two, but 3 vacations on 3 different private jets? There was the Ibiza trip, the Elton Estate trio, and then before that, they went to the Google Camp “climate change” summit, where they relaxed on their billion-dollar private yachts.

We’re talking about minor royals here. What entitles them to this level of luxury? Why aren’t there (peaceful) protests in the streets? Brits are struggling to pay their mortgages & put food on their tables, so that H&M can live excessive, lavish lifestyles without picking up the tab.

Nobody is on their side. And I can’t blame them. Sometimes, I feel a hint of remorse for them, because I understand that it is possible that some of the things written about the Sussex’s may not be entirely true, but every time these thoughts cross my mind, I am then reminded of the little stunt Harry pulled in SA with a certain Royal reporter:

And just like that, any feelings of remorse I had for them are gone.

Meghan proved just how low she’ll go to get what she wants. She also proved why Suits was ready to let her go, with her mediocre acting & crocodile tears, she’s hardly worthy of being called an “actress”, let alone an Hollywood A-list actress.

The British people deserve more from their royal family. They deserve better than Meghan Markle. As an American, I am thoroughly appalled, embarrassed, & empathetic that our friends across the pond have to endure the suffocating & oppressive soap opera that is Meghan Markle. I genuinely, amicably & sincerely apologize.

[hxxll-o]

who ;; @lcvenderfields

“You didn’t learn from Ibiza?” Not that he was judging her because Ibiza seemed to be a completely sporadic event that could never be repeated, but Astrid seemed to be almost as giggly and sparkle eyed as last time. Nevertheless, he pressed his hands on the girl’s shoulders and sat her down on a chair older than his parents and leaned against the counter himself.  “You should eat something and I--” he placed a hand over his heart solemnly, “Will be your Michelin chef. I don’t think Brits got Hot Pockets n’ pizza rolls so we might have to make do with actual ingredients. What are you in the mood for, princess?”

[beargryllsenvy]

James Blunt is a Hero

I have to do a piece on the envy towards James Blunt, who happens to be a good friend of BG’s.

I’ve just discovered how much I love listening to JB, especially his song ‘Cold’ [the YouTube video of him coming out from the sea is the best version]  and have been choosing some for my playlist on Spotify.  

So as I research and discover interesting things re JB, I read this:

At the Q Awards the year after the release of his album, he sat at a table while Noel Gallagher told the audience he was leaving Ibiza because he’d just heard Blunt had bought a house there (Blunt still lives on the island), Paul Weller announced he’d ‘rather eat his own s*** than work with James Blunt’ and Blur’s Damon Albarn refused to be in a photo alongside him. The NME named Back To Bedlam Worst Album Of The Year.

What an inflated bunch of chavs they all were at that time of their lives [more than a decade ago now]. The coarse Gallagher and the rude Weller, a magazine even decided to insult him.

Is this a man to be insulted in such a despicable way. He wrote No Bravery whilst serving in Kosovo [sic].

There is so much envy, jealousy and prejudice against our best and brightest.     This speaks of the over-socialised Brits, of which I am one, of course, who think that people who have the best education and upbringing have to be slapped down.

God gives the blessing, that’s how I see our privileged and well-brought up sector.  The word ‘Privilege’ is not an insult in my opinion, but can simply be a sign of blessing down the family line.

Bear and James and Ed

[midnightiscoming-kasabian]

Kasabian's Serge Pizzorno: 'I think there'll be a social media rebellion'

Kasabian guitarist Serge Pizzorno talks to Sky News about new solo project The S.L.P, as well as his plans for the band.

By Gemma Peplow | Photo: Neil Bedford

Serge Pizzorno's shaggy shock of jet black hair, once instantly recognisable, is now sharp-fringed and shaved, a striking leopard print dyed into the back in a style worthy of Instagram dreams, should he be so inclined.

He's not, really. While Kasabian and his new solo project, The S.L.P, have social media accounts, documenting every detail of his personal life, online is not for Pizzorno. It has to be about art, otherwise what's the point, he says. So the hair (definitely a work of art) does feature on The S.L.P's Instagram, along with his promotional shots, but these are about as close to a selfie as he gets.

Sitting in his publicist's office in north London, the singer is softly spoken, considered, a different character to the man with the swagger you see on stage. He is discussing social media and dating apps, the idea of "presenting that perfect version of yourself" online.

"It's to my detriment, because I probably overthink it, but I think there has to be an artistic voice to it or I'm not bothered," he says. "I can't just be, I don't know... just normal photos. That's not me. When other people do it, it's fine because whatever, that's their thing. It's probably not the way you should use it if you want to get massive, but I don't care."

Basically, don't expect to see eggs on toast breakfast snaps or "Friyay" glass-clinks on Pizzorno's social media feeds any time soon.

"I just don't care for that. My privacy is very important to me; my family and my home, my world, that's sacred. Someone called it the fourth dimension, where we've opened a world where you can see into people's lives in an insane way, where you're literally letting the whole world see exactly everything you do. I don't know about that for me. I like to keep that, that's mine."

This insane way is the inspiration behind Favourites, the first single from Pizzorno's debut solo album as The S.L.P, which features Mercury Prize-nominated rapper Little Simz.

As a father to two young sons, is social media something he worries about? Pizzorno is confident we will come full circle.

"I think people will look back on this place and where we've got to, and go, 'What were you thinking? What? You did what?' I think there'll definitely be a rebellion against it and it will go back to people having their own lives and thoughts to themselves."

Pizzorno channels his own thoughts through music. When Kasabian decided to take a break after 2017's For Crying Out Loud, their fifth consecutive number one album, sixth overall, the plan was to "just be quiet for a bit". After more than 20 years together - stadiums around the world sold out, Brits, NME and Q awards in the bag, a Glastonbury headline slot ticked off - they felt they needed time off.

But Pizzorno has discovered he doesn't do relaxation very well. Certainly not your fortnight-in-the-sun-type relaxation, anyway. Anyone who has ever been in the presence of his best mate and Kasabian frontman Tom Meighan, the hyperactive stream-of-consciousness yin to Pizzorno's very chilled yang, will know he is a man who is always on the go; never able to sit still, or keep quiet, for long. But it turns out it was Pizzorno who needed something to keep his brain occupied during the break.

The Kasabian radio silence - temporary, he assures - brings us to The S.L.P. Starting out as some "spare music on a hard drive", the project has transformed into an album, released at the end of August, and a tour in September.

"We realised we've, Kasabian, not had a summer off, ever," says Pizzorno. "So we decided, let's just take a year out. Just be quiet for a bit, with the band.

"I suddenly thought, I'm gonna go mad if I don't do anything. So, I had this music in a hard drive…"

Fascinated by the idea of alter-egos and different personas, the album has a "meanwhile concept", he says, excitedly. "It's a sort of comic book thing where it's like, 'Meanwhile, in the Batcave'... and there's Batman and there's Bruce Wayne. There's me in the band and meanwhile, I've got this as well. I love that world.

"I had these three bits of 'meanwhile music', I called them, and I thought, well, they'd make a great beginning, middle and end to an album. All I have to do is fill in the gaps... with, whatever I wanted really. It's all come out of necessity, I suppose. The timing was right."

The result is The S.L.P. album, an 11-track record book-ended by the tracks Meanwhile... In Genova, and Meanwhile… In The Silent Nowhere.

Recorded and produced by Pizzorno at his studio The Sergery, set up at his home in the Leicestershire countryside, the album comes from a mix of influences, everything from hip-hop to psychedelic-funk and trance.

In parts, it is unmistakably the Kasabian writer and guitarist's work, but at other times completely different. While the Favourites opening riff would not sound out of place on the band's third album, West Ryder Pauper Lunatic Asylum, second single Nobody Else sounds like it should be played as the sun comes up in Ibiza. Not bound by the ties that come with being one of the biggest UK bands of the 21st century, Pizzorno says he felt free "to just see what it could be".

"I love making, I just like creating... If I've not had a day, if I've not made something in the day then I feel a bit… I don't know, I just freak out a bit. I mean, it doesn't necessarily have to be a song. Just, you know, an idea, or a drawing or a video. It's at the forefront all the time and that's kind of where I feel like, 'yeah, I'm all right now'."

The S.L.P. has "opened up another part of my brain", he says. "I think that was the thing, it was the freedom of not having to consider 80,000 people in a field. It's like, 'Ah, this can be a different thing'."

Inevitably, solo work has invited discussion about the end of Kasabian. But Pizzorno says his sideline has helped him see the band from "a new, fresh perspective… [and now] I'll know exactly the kind of way we need to go with the next chapter.

"I've just gone down the rabbit hole and I've collected a few new treasures and I've bought them back, you know?"

Taking time out, being careful not to saturate, is important, he says. "I think it's healthy. And every now and again there needs to be a storm in the harbour, man... It would be nice if people are going 'what's gonna happen?' or, 'Is that it, was that the last time I'm ever going to see them play?'

"So then, the story begins again, which I think is a good place to be, to keep everyone on their toes - including the band, I mean me included, everyone."

Formed with Meighan and their mates Chris Edwards and Chris Karloff (who left the band during the recording of second album Empire) while they were still at school in Leicester in the 1990s, Kasabian rose to fame with the release of their self-titled debut album in 2004. Fifteen years later, they are one of just a handful of those early-noughties indie bands left standing, undoubtedly one of the biggest British bands of their era.

It is no mean feat, and yet it is easy for the successes to become normalised, says Pizzorno.

"Being together for so long it's amazing how the achievements are expected," he says. "Oh, sold out the O2 again - I mean that's a massive thing; two, three nights. Or headlining Glastonbury, five number one albums.

"There's these mad facts that you don't... process [at the time]. But when you think, you go, f***, that's massive... It's an incredible place to be but..."

It comes with certain pressures?

"Kind of. Yes and no. I mean... because we got where we got I think it sort of doesn't really matter now. It would have been more pressure if we'd not achieved what we wanted to.

"We just sort of... rolled with it, really. It's all about new ideas, and new things and new albums. Changing. We've been afforded the luxury of being able to experiment and people going with it. So yes, it's been quite a ride, I've got to say."

Kasabian, he reassures once again, is "safe and sound" and his band mates have all been supportive of The S.L.P. "They've been so sound about it all. I've been blessed."

With the album finished, now all he has to do is think about performing live.

On stage with Kasabian he is the guitarist and backing vocalist, taking the frontman reigns only occasionally for the odd song. The S.L.P. live show will be quite different.

"In my head I have an idea of what I want the show to be but converting it, that's going to be an interesting thing. I know for sure that I don't want it to be anything like... it's going to be a completely different show to a Kasabian show."

He pauses: "I want the outcome to be the same in terms of... euphoric connection. A place for everyone to come to lose their minds. But I want to get there in a whole different way. I'm coming at it from a different angle. It's a different sport."

The album features the collaboration with Little Simz, who was "so good; it was a real honour to work with her", and slowthai, another rapper and 2019 Mercury Prize nominee.

"These [are] young, British artists that I think are at the forefront of music and to get them on the album was amazing," he says. "Moving forward I'd like to do that more. I think those two especially because I'm just a big fan of what they do."

I ask about his life in Leicester. Or more specifically, his recent appearance alongside pal Mark Ronson on Gogglebox, and why viewers were taken to a sofa in east London rather than his Leicestershire home. (Full disclosure here: I too am from Leicester, and it's not often we get to see the city on the telly.)

"Maybe next time," he laughs. "It's a very proud city, isn't it? We are very proud of our city. It's weird, isn't it? That home thing, that Leicester thing."

I last spoke to Pizzorno back in 2016, for the city's local paper, as Kasabian were heading out to play their beloved Leicester City's stadium, the King Power, for the first time; a lifetime's dream fulfilled to celebrate the club's 5,000-1 Premier League win.

Pizzorno, Meighan and Edwards have all remained rooted in Leicestershire, never swayed by the lure of celebrity, and always do their best to champion the city and put on special gigs for their fans there.

"I think [being in Leicester] has only helped us," says Pizzorno. "It's nice to be on the fringes, on the outside, and still be outsiders. I think it's important for artists to be on the outside.

"It's a mad old place. But I love it… I just feel like I learn more being there than I would anywhere else. I think you get more of a sense of the world. It can be a bit of a bubble anywhere else. I've got a lot of my friends who I grew up with and they always make me laugh, fascinate me, and their stories are amazing. I feel more connected there than I would anywhere else."

Kasabian want to inspire children from Leicester, from other less recognised towns and cities, he says.

"I feel like we were kids from a little place outside of the centre, and we had these dreams and we had this intent to try and communicate this message with the world and bring as many people together as possible. I want to show that you can do some mad stuff… I think it's important to show the next generation of kids coming up. Especially in our home town."

I ask how Tom is. He grins. "Tom's Tom, you know. There's only one. He's an amazing man. You can only be that good at something if… well, he's just Tom.

"We don't occupy the same orbit… we're not smashing into each other. If you had two Toms…" He makes a whooshing sound. "That's why it works. And it's been like that since 1997. I mean, like any family, there's arguments and there's fights and there's shouting. But that's a very small percentage of the best time ever. You know, like any normal Christmas Day. We've all got madness in our families. But we've got mad love as well."

After more than 20 years together, a seventh album in the pipeline, now all fathers, a bit wiser, definitely more grown-up, it would seem Kasabian have overcome any hurdles that might cause a band to split. Is this it forever now?

"Yeah, I'd like to think so. You know, bar anything major. You never know what's round the corner, but we do feel like we've come too far now.

"There's not many bands that have been sort of big in two decades. You know, that's always the thing, if you can move into the next decade and still be around… if we're making relevant music and the live shows stand up and have still got that energy and bring that carnival like no one else can, we'll be around for a long time."

Serge Pizzorno's debut album, The S.L.P, is out on 30 August. The S.L.P tour starts in Glasgow on 5 September and finishes in Paris on 17 September, and includes two dates in London.

news.sky.com